Painkiller Already - PKA 775 W/ OpTic Hecz: Neil De Grasse Tyson Lied To All Of Us

Episode Date: October 25, 2025

PCA 775, we were just catching up with Optic Hicks. Taylor. This episode of PCA is brought to you by Blue Chew, our wonderful merch, and of course, lock and load. Buy all three linked below. Hex, it's almost weird talking to you not dressed as like a chipmunk or a pirate or something like that. Yes. I was just explaining that I have a planned outing here at the house, so I'm not going to be able to be here for it. there's a trip to Disney

I don't know you're going to Disney doing family stuff in Orlando are you not looking forward to it no I am I'm going peacock fishing peacock bass fishing while they do the

the ears and stuff you know all the Mickey Mouse shit what is peacock bass just going for the biggest one you can or is that a type yeah no it's a it's a it's a it's a type of bass. It's very beautiful.

It's tropical. I don't really think that there's any in Orlando. There are a bunch in Miami and definitely some in the Amazon's, but it's just... It's an invasive species. They're huge. It's an invasive species. They're huge. Zach, can we see a picture of a peacock bass?

Very pretty. Well, then you're doing the nature reserves service catching these things. Oh my God. Yeah, no, I mean I'm throwing them back in there. I just want a selfie like this, dude. You know, that's a huge one, right? That has to be. Yeah. I mean, if you, if you, if you type Miami or Orlando, maybe you can do a user right now. But yeah, no, they have a beautiful, you know, red bottoms, like orangey.

This is like, that's like a 20 pound bass. Yeah. I think of all the, that can be done here with forced perspective. Like, make it look like you're holding it, but actually be 30 feet behind the fish. No, no, you can see its arms and you can measure against, like, the mouth to the scale that he's holding on his right hand. I'm not accusing him of doing it. I'm suggesting. Oh, yeah. No, listen, I say it's a thing in fisheries.

It's definitely, like, you the whole, the, the, the, the, you'd be like, look how big my phone is. So they cover's my whole thing. You know. You know, I can come up with this idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so in Orlando, I'm, you know, I'm telling the, the, the, the, the, the kid that, you know, there's peacock bass there.

I've never caught one. And that's a fact. But if I just end up catching regular largemouth bass the entire time. So Florida strain, you know, largemouth bass, then I'm going to be a happy camper. Nice. Do you eat them ever? Are you always talking about a bag? No.

No, I was sports fisherman, you know, catch and release. The cruelty is the point, Taylor. Yeah, dude. I tell people I'm a hypocrite. I will never go hunting ever. But if you invite me to go torture a fish just to take a selfie with them and, you know, traumatize them, I'll do it. Yeah, I mean, you're giving them a story to tell when they get back to the school. That's right.

Do you remember that scene? Sorry, Kyle. What were you going to say? I was just tell the fish, you're lucky it was me. You know, I'm not going to let you go. Some of these guys in here, they'll fucking eat you. You know what happened to Japan? They'd eat you right now.

Yeah, the back of your belly during the conversation. You're lucky I'm not a hot Japanese girl. You'd be it so much shit. Do you remember that scene in a fight club where they bring the, the store clerk to the back of the convenience store and then they're like point a gun at them and they're about to execute them and they say if you don't pursue your you know your life next move blah blah that's what I'm doing to the fish yeah like this could be in it for you but I'm not saying to you out there live a good life I could never get into just the sports fishing my dad and I went fly fishing

at this point a bit over a decade ago in Oregon and I had never fly fish before it turns out anyone out there. Fly fishing is the most fun type of fishing. If you're complained about fishing is that it's passive and you want more activity, then do fly fishing. If you enjoy the passivity of fishing, you will not enjoy the fly fishing thing because it's moving around constantly. And my dad, either knowingly lied or unknowingly lied, saying that you can keep all the steelhead trout and then you can take them home and fry them up or grill them or whatever. And those are really, really tasty fish sought after. And I like catch my first big one and I'm all excited and the guide out there with us is like all right great he comes over to like start taking it off

the hook for me and i want to be like i don't know what kind of california people you usually bring out here but like i can handle this and then like he just like took it right off and then just let it go and i wanted to be like what are we doing we a fish it's like he's like well yeah we can't keep him here and i'm like oh a whole day wasted a whole day wasted you got a picture with him i got a picture with it. I think my dad has a good, man. It's good. He wanted to eat it.

It was captured, dude. I want to demolish. I like the idea that I could spit in the face of Taylor's God by getting into sports crabbing. Sports drive. Oh. That would be a good life little big guy. That was, and I know I mentioned this years and years ago, but that was the same

Fisher guide who, I don't remember what I had eaten the night prior, but it was, it must have been a madhouse because I had like that kind of poop that goes from, I don't don't have to poop at all to. I need to go right just now in like a second. And I was like, can I just go to the bathroom like in the wild? He's like, you're not allowed to do that. And I'm like, all right, well, then can you drive me back to that outhouse that's up there? And he was like, well, we kind of just got set up down here. Is it an emergency? And like to another man I met 40 minutes earlier. I was like, yes, I'm going to poop in your waiters. If you do not get me up there. And so I sat in silence.

The radio was broke and we just and he drove me up there and I had a speed shit, just a total calamitous. And then I just get back out and then just silently like closed the truck. We drive back down and he's a professional consummate pro. He never mentioned

it. He got back in the car, looked at it and went I was so flush. It didn't fly. This is for not letting me keep that fish earlier. You said of a bit. Yeah. I'm still, I'm so confused. what do you mean that you can't shit outdoors like where humans have been doing I mean humans still do is that it seems like it would help right like high altitude

chumming or even if it was high altitude you always dig a yeah yeah I mean there's gonna be people down the river drinking that water so maybe you know imagine you're swimming you're in your in your in your waiters and I was on poop what is all the um I'm looking for degradation what is it called

and poop like just goes away and becomes decomposition. Thank you. That's what I. Thank you. The decomposition and the growth for that matter happened so slowly at high altitude. I saw what they call trees that here we would call bushes. And they're like, that thing took 75 years to grow. It's like, holy smokes. That is 18 months of growth in my yard. So when they're like, don't poop here, they're telling me that because it will be here for the next 35 years.

It's not like North Carolina. We definitely weren't in high altitude. Like we were, like, whatever normal Oregon altitude is. We weren't on a mountain. Yeah, the shit does not decompose and grow at 13,000, 16,000 feet like it does in my yard. Well, there were giant trees, which means we weren't that high up. Okay, okay. I'm trying to make sense of it.

He could have let me poop outside. Yes. It's a matter of fact. I don't know how he'd stop you. Do you know how difficult it is to get waiters off when you're like, humbling and panicking? You're so right. You're so right. in high altitude alpine zones

human waste does not decompose effectively and can remain in the environment for years key factors like cold temperatures and poor soil. Wow. You learn something new every day. I mean that's why all those Mount Everest

those K2 people who poop up there, it's still there right alongside the dead bodies. It'll never go away. I thought you were going to say that's why they pack it out, but they have room for improvement in that. Yeah, that's good. There's poop on the moon that'll be there forever Oh, I didn't even think of that

Yeah, the astronauts were pooping in bags And that capsule and tossing it out on the moon I wonder how long forever is Like, like It's not going to be forever It's like a million years though No, it's until something melts the moon Like until the sun expires or something

Goes supernova or whatever it's going to do Won't the plastic just decompose over time And all that like just The radiation from the sun degrades things like the American flag that's up there is bleached now. It's not like an American, it was a 1960s flag. Now they would send up some sort of metallic flag or some shit,

some sort of weird thing. But I don't know what it would do to the poop bags. But the poop itself, it's just going to be there forever. Just, I don't know how long, forever. It's not going anywhere. I'm going to hit you, GPT.

And the poop that they just, I assume, shipped out into space along the way. constantly that's just like somewhere in orbit around earth or something in space well you know like you got to think like while they were on the way to the moon they were traveling they get there in like three days and it's a quarter million miles so they must be going 70,000 miles an hour that shit is also going 70,000 miles per hour when they just release it out the window yeah relative to the spaceship it's going to same speed but but but to every anything just sitting still in space 70,000 mile per hour, shit is flying by.

So it went that way. Just like Elon's roadster that he launched up. They were showing its path. It's made some enormous, ridiculous orbit that it's done now. Like, it's traveling through space. So it's gone. It's orbiting the sun. Okay, okay, it is orbiting the sun.

That's interesting. What's up with 3-E-A-Atlas? What is 3-I-Atlas? That's that interstellar That they detected We were talking about last week Okay, we talked about that What is the one followed by eight zeros?

Is that a hundred million years? A hundred million, yeah That's how long it would take poop To decompose on the moon From the U.S. It's a long time. You got to get through the bag first though, right? Plastic doesn't last 100 million years.

We don't know that it's in plastic It might be in a foil like I don't know what it's in. Right. Let me see what it's. NASA poop bags are I don't think anything lasts a hundred million years that we make. Like it's got to be a rock

plastic. Like what? No. Yeah. Even now they're finding those little fuckers that eat plastic deep in the sea or maybe high on mountains somewhere. Somewhere they found like microbes. There are 96 bags of poop on the moon. I'm trying to see what the bags would have been more if I had gone. We're running out of bags.

You're just holding it. What do I do? Just putting my ass directly up against the hole, letting it suck out of me. I'm looking at the poop bag now. This is, let's see if I can get a picture. I picture it as a bag you'd get at Target, but I don't know. What if it really is like the stuff when you're taking a dog on a walk, it's like a thin green. You have to grab your own stuff out of the air.

Being an astronaut, as far as the comfort level goes, seems like, like a terrible job. Oh, yeah. Horrible. You don't have any, like what happens if you get stressed out up in space, which is probably a common thing because we're not meant to be flying around space. Like, you can't eat your feelings because you don't have any tasty food. There's no way they're letting you light a cigarette. You can't do drugs because you can't have somebody on drugs in charge of a zillion dollar spacecraft. You just have to sit there in the chasm of space and be like, oh, I guess to take my mind off this, I'll do math. The people they send up there are like that, though.

Like, I think that the way they psychologically test those people and profiled and make sure they're not going to send someone up there who's going to have a crackdown, meltdown type thing. I've never heard of them having an issue. And occasionally they'll have that nightmare scenario where someone gets left up there for months when they were supposed to be there for weeks. And they seem fine. You know, like they don't melt down and start shitting on the walls or anything like I would. Didn't some lady spaz out up there a few years ago? up in the international space station, not like in a shuttle flying somewhere. Yeah, yeah. Well, wait, there is no shuttle. Well, they left

those two people up there for, like I said, about 11 months or something when they were supposed to be there for like two weeks, something like that. Remember the lady had the big frisly hair and it became an international political thing where Trump was like, maybe they're falling in love up there, those two. And everybody's like, they're married to different people here on Earth. What are you talking about? They want to come home, Mr. President. maybe Elon will get him I had a banged her if I was

Hello Could we bomb them back to Earth? It'll push them to safety It'll blow me to safety Like just like it's always sunny No That's really prepared Like

If I go camping for three days I'll bring four days food But not 11 months Good gosh I think they sent more food and stuff But the I think they had the capacity To send food but not rest

rescue. I think, but I just know that the, I think the Soyuz capsule they were going to use to return had a malfunction or showed a malfunction or something happened to it and it wasn't safe to use to come back. Oh, no, it was it, it was when, man, you know your space shit, dude. I just look this up and I see the Russian Soyuz MSO-9 spacecraft. Like, had a problem. By the way, that lady was Serena, a non-Chancellor. And she apparently spazzed out in 2018 up there because she wanted to come back and couldn't and like deliver. created a hole and then destroyed some things she's on the way that hole that yeah she and apparently like the other members had to be like what the fuck is wrong

come on get the patch kit I was hanging a poster she's not getting her to are you thinking her to think it NASA in the US denied these accusations Of course

Of course Well that's fair Because if I were any country And my astronaut spazzed out Deny, deny, deny It happened way up in space No one's gonna like no You can just say nah

Yeah For sure There's no way they're How many humans are out Of the earth right now What's the peak Kyle This seems like right up your wheelhouse Is it ever like more than 100?

It's never more than 10 I don't know how many fit in the International Space Station I've seen them up there it seems like maybe five people or something like Wow I picture them having like a small

very small like cafeteria set up Oh hey come on No At least a couple dozen people can sit and munch That's what TV is coming What was Kyle's answer? He said like less than 10 I said less than 10

What about the hamster Kyle We've got the equivalent of a A human like hamster play toy floating in orbit is what we have like they're up you know with the tunnels and and the little play they run through there like the ferrets and stuff like the play in like that's what's up there there ain't no cafeteria they're still eating that shitty space food and like no no we're a long way away from 2001 of space odyssey there's 10 10 people off of the earth right now one two three chinese one two three uh Russians one two three Americans and one German there's

There's a movie. I watched a while back. It wasn't a good movie, but it was a good premise where Russia and the U.S. had gone to war. And there were Americans and Russians on the International Space Station. And both of them were getting messages from home like, take the state. Take the station. Any means necessary. And so like they're having like knife fights and stuff in space. It was pretty good. It was kind of a kind of a scary thing. I feel like those guys would be like literally above it all where they could be like, hey. I'm sure you guys are also being told to take us out. We're way up here, though. And, you know, you guys have the pilot, so we're not going to kill you. Well, there's no piloting to be done. That's the other thing. Like, it's not like Star Trek. You're just goofing off up there?

They're just good. I think it's a combination of science. No wonder NASA doesn't do any go through places. I think it's a combination of like scientists and ex-air-Force test pilots up there doing that. What are they doing up there? Nothing awesome anymore. They haven't brought home something awesome for us in years. NASA?

They lied about going to the moon again. Like so much of our tech comes from the space, from space, not only the space race, but just space activities, like cordless drills. That's why they came up with those high-powered batteries and those drills.

And now everybody in America has a DeWalter. How long have those been around? Since NASA invented them. Wait, what brand did you endorse? I like the Walt All right I like the color theme I've had no issues with them ever

I guess I've never like attached them to a Milwaukee and made them fight to the death Yeah yeah You simply must I have a high opinion of them I'm a Milwaukee guy but I can respect a DuWalk guy

I just like the color theme I think it's better Lowe's often has some Lots of people like man You know Is DeWalt the gay one is that what it is Is it like the earring in the left ear I'm talking about yellow compared to red.

Earing in the right ear. Red and black are the manliest colors. Yeah. Earring only in the left ear, pirate, only in the right ear, homosexual. Both ears, dealer's choice. Mm. That's how it goes. Keep them guessing.

Dude, if the fact that you were like, by the way, Taylor, those drills that have been around for 38 years, that's why we give them the big bucks. It's like, okay, well, what's something new? What's something cool? Because they fibbed their asses off about going back to the moon. no they were honest they said no sooner than 2025 have you seen them up there yeah

they are just going we're in we're in a that'll be embarrassing for a space race with China right now I don't know who's going to win because China doesn't I think it's a it's really hard to do that thing and to get back and I think it would be an embarrassment

if you lost your astronauts and I think both the US and China are going to try to not have a disaster getting beaten There isn't nearly as bad as exploding four or five of your best and brightest on global TV. We'll win because if we don't, we'll change the rules. Yes. New rule. Now it's a race to get six people on there one time. Yeah. Yeah. We just, we just changed.

That's what we did. Dude, when you look at the space race between America and Russia, it's hilarious. It's like Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia. We just kept moving the guard line. goalposts. It was like, ah, first in space, lost that, fuck it. All right, first in, you know, make it all the way around. I lost that, fuck it. Oh, fastest human ever. I lost that, fuck it.

First on the moon, we won, game over, let's stop. Mm-hmm. But they don't compete. Well, like, I disagree with that. Because I'm with, well, I don't disagree with them, them beating us on many, many of the most important milestones. But the goal was the moon the whole time it seemed. And I think if just like in

For All Mankind If Soviets had said Well now it's Mars We'd have kept going and like tried to beat him to Mars But they didn't They were like Oh shucks You think Stanley Kubrick had another brilliant piece in him

Yeah Immediately do that See if the Soviets I would love to hear the phone conversation From Mars to Nixon It gets your goat so much So the Soviets So the Soviets and the Chinese and America are the three nations in the world who have brought back rocks from the moon.

They all radiocarbon date and isotope date exactly the same. The Chinese would have to lie for us for us to have faked the moon landing. The Russians would then also have to lie for us to have fate the moon landing. I believe that. That's not going to happen. Yeah. Dude, I don't want the moon landing to be real so much. I'm not about to start poking holes in it.

That's like kind of the pinnacle of Western civilization, exploration, discovery, intuition. Like, that's kind of right there at the tippity top. I'm looking at what the space race was about. And they're exactly what I said. They said, first it was about getting satellites. And then Russia won that. And then it was about getting a human in space and orbital flight. Russia won those.

And then it was about landing on the moon. That was us. And then it was about having a space station. That was Russia. we lost three out of the four races and the only one you hear in America is the one we want. Hey, how do you get a

space station out in space? Very slowly. They have to like bring little pieces up and screw it in. That was, see, all those things were prerequisites to the moon landing though, like, and it wasn't just those things, three things they beat us to. There's like a dozen different ones. I feel like they

poked a hole in our narrative, which was, hey, once we put it on, once we got a man on the moon, that was the real, goal line and it stopped. Meanwhile, the Russians kept going and we didn't. And they made an international space station that lasted for decades. And we just became passengers on their space station. You're correct, Woody, but I'm American. And so I'm not going to accept that. I'm going to, I'm going to go along with the rule change. So the carbon dating stuff on the, on the moon is, is, do they say how old it is? Yeah. So the moon was created when,

a Mars-sized body that they call Thaya impacted Earth. Like, I think, they know when. I don't remember the exact number, but it's in billions of years. And both the Earth and Thea liquefied. And there's these 3D models to show how they sort of did this thing. And the moon glooped off. So the moon's composition is half that of Earth and half that of Thaya. But they can tell when that happened.

And they know that that's what happened. They call that the giant impact hypothesis. Like, this is so your wheelhouse. What are the alternate theories? Because I've never heard other theories about how the moon could have come into existence other than the one you just put out there. Well, like I said, there have to be other thoughts, right? When they, there are other thoughts, but that's, that's the accepted explanation for me. Oh, I believe you.

I'm just curious. Well, the way, so a lot of the, of Jupiter's moons are believed to have been captured, for example, like because it's gravity. big and it's out there near the asteroid belt and all and objects that are coming in it catches them and it's got like i don't know how many moon stupid it has but it might be a hundred i'd be 150 or 250 it's crazy professor i have a question um what can what can i do to be as knowledgeable about space as you are what the fuck are you reading because i want to read the same i watch astrum and i watch john michael godier um and i watch a bunch of um space youtubeers and cosmology

YouTubers. I'm really interested in that stuff. Yeah. I just thought it with Neil. Yeah, Neil deGrasse Tyson is a really good entry point. I liked the Cosmos remake that he did with what's his name that makes Seth MacFarlane. That's really good. Seth MacFarlane?

Yeah. What the fuck was he doing Cosmos? He produced it. Spawn, dude. Oh, okay. No, that's the other Seth McFarland's family guy. That's really good. the other McFarland, the guy who wrote Spawn. I can't think of his name.

I don't know who that is. He wrote Spawn, the comic, you know, the Dark Horse Comics. Okay. I prefer the family guy, McFarland. I did too. I did too. I think the other McFarland is a big BLM guy,

and he gives a lot of his comic money to things like that. I think he also wrote Sin City. Todd McFarland. That's who it was. Thank you, Zach. The only problem with Neil deGrasse Tyson are how he tweets every Christmas, like, this is the winter solstice and not, and it's like, calm the fuck down, Neil. Like, people are having fun.

And also, people are trying to have a good time with their family and you're like poke and then also, he's a, he's the arch Pluto denier. He denies Pluto's existence entirely. He, you know, that's not true. No, it is. It is. What do you mean? Pluto, which became a moon or a dead planet or a dwarf planet?

He was part of the team that was like, oh, I don't think Pluto should be a planet. And then they all like high-fived and huff their own farts. So the problem with that, you'd have to, you would have to increase the number of planets dramatic. Like, I think series is the biggest asteroid in our asteroid field. It's bigger than Pluto. And I think there are larger Kuiper Belt.

objects out there where Jupiter is than Jupiter. And so they came up with a classification definition. And one of the requirements to be a planet was you have to have cleared out your orbital path. You have to own your lane size of Pluto. Is it? Okay. Series is 584 mile diameter Pluto. A whopping planet size, 1500 miles. Which one is more massive, though?

Who's to say? I haven't Googled that yet. You go ahead and type that in. Jesus. The reason I was asking about the carbon dating stuff is because, you know, like last month, I think, they carbon dated the bugosphere. Are you guys familiar with the bugosphere? The Colombian

orb that hit power lines that fell in the forest. You know, a couple of Colombian dudes grabbed it. They sent it. They started examining it. And just recently, the University of Georgia, I'm sorry, the University of Georgia's Center for Applied isotope studies. dated it at 12,560

the internal resin of the boogosphere and then if you look at the hieroglyphics around this sphere they what the fuck did say I'm reading here anyway it like matches up

with like the weirdest shit like like Stonehenge it looks like Stonehenge it's quite gnarly the story about the bugosphere this I've never heard of

12,000 years old, that feels very young in the in the cosmos, right? Like we had, like people were, like there were cities like when this is, I mean or cities. Yeah, I'm just you know, if you think about

12,000, 12,000 560 years ago, the technology was so advanced that they created this orb that floats and maneuvers however it feels like through our own you know, atmosphere. No resistance. does what it pleases, it gets an electrical shock falls to the bottom of the forest floor and

they pick it up and no one's died from radiation and they dated it at 12,000. So that means that 12,560 years ago, the technology was, you know, I don't know how advanced we truly are, right? Obviously, nobody knows, but, you know, we don't have, I haven't seen any of that. I like that idea. It's a cool thing to think about that, like, there was an apex civilization or civilizations before us that kind of that it surpassed us and then all was lost in some calamitous event or something and then now we're we're eke in our

way back it's the same way like every religion every major religion has like a flood story at some part it's like that's weird like there's no way they were making it up over here and making it up over here and making it up over here I know and over here and it all lined up like there had to have been something they were referencing something go beckley teppi is 11,000 years old that that site in turkey that religious site with the the enormous pillars and stuff that was built when we were supposedly just hunter gathers that's that place that they believe was destroyed um by a common impact around that triggered the younger driest um climate change event which was also around that time period like 11 or 14,000 years ago or something like

that. That's what that Graham Hancock guy is always going on about. I can't remember the name of his book, but it's really good. And then he's got a, he's been on Rogan a bunch, and he's got that, he's got a couple of Netflix shows or a couple seasons of a Netflix show. I watched, I don't watch a lot of Rogan, but I watched the one with Graham Hancock, as you told me to, and then what he told me to listen to one that had some other space guy on it that was very interesting. I don't remember his name, but I liked both of us. Chris, he has a very soothing voice. Yes, he was a very soothing. And he's always very happy and excited about it.

Oh, yeah, that's the, oh, man, I love that. I watched, I went, like, watched other interviews with him, and they'll be like, so, space, what is it, man? And he'll be like, that's the thing that's so very exciting is that every day we find new, expensive horizons, things to study. And, you know, if it's, if it's something you're interested in, it's, it's truly inconceivable, the amount of things. to look at to study to bro that's so good and I'm watching it and I'm like yeah I just I'm watching that

and I'm like man I want I want to be as happy about something as this guy is about the universe like that guy wakes up every morning big cup of coffee fucking space everything to do you know the kunk lady right who does the the mock interviews the comedy interviews

oh she's the redhead lady helamina kunk or philomina kunk or whatever she interviewed that guy you're talking about out and and she's given him a hard time and at one point she's like my am i wasting your time and he's like yes yes you are yes you are wasting my time but in the in the scheme of things you see yeah that guy rocks i need to watch more of him i get like really high and then watch stuff about space but if i get too high it spooks me and i have to try and distract myself. Yeah, because I'm like, oh, my goodness. Maybe there is no meaning. Maybe there is

no meaning. Maybe there is no meaning. No, God made stuff. No, no, no meaning. I vibe so differently on that than you. Like it, to me, no meaning is like no pressure, no plan. Everything's fine. Being a tiny little speck of dust in the context of the cosmos is like, you know what? Your responsibilities are not that broad. I disagree with both of those. philosophical ideas. I think there is no God, but I think that what we are is as close to godly as you can imagine. We are the universe made sense. We are the universe made sense. We are literally made out of pieces of exploded star. Our bodies are 100%. And it has evolved. The chemistry has evolved to become sentient. We are made of the universe. We are the universe, but we know that

we are. What made the universe? Who cares? That's irrelevant to this conversation. My point is that the end process is sentience. The end process of evolution and chemistry was to take those amino acids and make them come to life and then know that we are bits of the universe, to know that we are that thing, that we are the universe come to life and made sentient. I think that's incredible. I think they were super important. But we've never met any other things like us. How could we be important? Because what you just said, makes it meaningless experiencing for what sake for what purpose to what end it's nothing it's a it's a it's a aunt experiencing the ant hill is what you're saying and so it's much more significant if there was a god who created everything kind of set this in motion doesn't have to be the like in six 24 hour days of time and then he chilled like it could just be you know set it in motion there's a god he's a scientist we are infinitely more important if we were created and our universe was created by

got. If there's a god, he's a scientist, and he's nowhere near infallible, and he doesn't care about us. You just said you didn't think he existed. I don't. You don't think there's even a possibility that, like, a prime mover started this. Oh, yeah. Anything is literally possible.

You could be God. I'm willing to accept that there is a small chance that you yourself are God, or that I am, and I forgot. Like, those things are all possible. I just don't think they're likely. I like, I had to watch a YouTube video. on how to take my dryer apart. I'm not God.

Well, you're not. The hex might be. X could be. Hex is a very successful guy. I know, but when you say the washing machine, I know that I'm not because what would compel you to want to take your machine apart? You know, like...

I had to fix it. It was broken. Dude, there's experts for that stuff. And you help the economy, dude. You help you help. go it. That's so true. We should raise GDP. Kyle, I'll pay you $20,000 to suck my cock, and then you pay me $20,000 to suck your cock. GDP just went up $40K, and we created two jobs. It checks out. See, that's how like real economics works.

You're counting the blow jobs as jobs, Kyle? Absolutely. Yeah, a part-time work. But yeah, that's a scary thing to think about. I am the opposite of you in that way, Kyle, and it seems like HECS might be in the middle or more on what I'm thinking we're like if this is just meaningless nothing and we arose just as components floating and disgusting goo like it's pretty depressing like I don't think so I think why do you want to have meaning everyone wants meaning no I very much don't want any meaning oh I what is what is that what do you mean when you say that right because you you sit here right and you're having these conversations so that you can entertain people and you know get get

you know the ability to to continue to do what you like to do which is obviously having conversations meaningful ones like the ones we're having right now meaningful right i said it meaningful right there it's like there there's meaning to it right i feel like if like if for a life to have meaning there are noteworthy accomplishments that live on beyond you that you're required to have that's a tall bar how about we just live a life how about i just keep the people that are important be fed, dry, warm, cold, whatever they need to be. And that's all the fucking pressure and accomplishment that I really need. If I'm supposed to change the world or make America great or make the world more peaceful or like,

that's a lot. We're all going to leave a mark on this universe. And there's two ways to measure that mark by its size and by its nature. There are people on this planet who left a huge mark made of dirt. That is not impressive. There are people who leave barely any mark at all, which is fine. And then there are people who leave a big mark made of gold, right? I'm impressed with that guy. That's what I think of Hank Green, right? This guy lived a great big mark behind and it is nothing but good. I've never seen anything. He's a YouTuber. He does a lot of science. He's been on the

show. He's been from scientists. I was going to say Louis Pasteur, but okay. Dude, this guy has like countless kids prepare for the 80 exams. He's, you heard YouTuber and you dismissed him, but I wouldn't think that would come from you. He's a good man who's left a big positive mark. And I like him. He barely knows me. I'm not trying to shit on him, but I'm just not trying to compare him to Alexander the Great and Louis Pasteur. Like, you know what I mean?

Sure. If we're talking about those lasting legacies, because I didn't know he was and he's been on the show. Like, you know what I mean? I'm shocked. I must not have been that episode. I don't remember this guy at all, but you might if there's

but I saw him I know his face I might see it well that doesn't work for me yeah but there are people who leave the monkeys

hold my ears bad ones large ones small ones and when I hear like that this that our journey

has meaning and importance it's like oh fuck along with that comes the requirement to leave a big good mark and that's a lot of

you guys here yeah yeah but like what if you don't think like if there truly is no meaning like if we did arise from a pit of goo then and you believe that wholeheartedly not you just like the sure yeah the you uh then like what why would there be any purpose in like heck said having discussions like or caring about politics or society or the future or what your kids are even going to go through like like because i'm sure like you you're a good father you care about the state of the world once you're gone and you care about hopes eventual children and their children and whatnot. And if it's all just worthless, it's like there's no reason not to just live totally hedonistically and not care about anything outside of the moment. And I think that's probably why all these people you're referencing,

from Alexander the Great to Louis Pasteur to whoever, like they believed in a higher power, Newton, what have you. Like they believed they were doing something in the furtherance of the good, the good that like. Because they were ignorant ancients. Newton believed in alchemy. Yeah, get out of here with that. Newton is smarter on his worst day than you could ever dream of being.

He's smarter than all of us combined. Look, a lot of people are smarter. Okay, that's fair. This isn't a great example here. Physics, you say, it was a smart guy. Like, he theorized gravity. He was a devout believer. And so, like, what?

He believed in alchemy as well. He believed in what he was in from an age of witchcraft and wizardry. So you believe that masks worked. That's okay. That what? You believed that masks worked, those cloth masks? Do work. They do work.

That's so true, buddy. They keep your identity hidden from the populace. Identify a single-ized agent visually. I challenge you. You can't do it. I just like the digression from there being no prime mover to there being no meaning is so rapid and inevitable that it's just a sad thing to think about. But see, having a creator doesn't even give you, doesn't give your life meaning either.

You have to, you have to go a step further and have a creator who cares about you and sees you as more than an ant farm or more than a forgotten experiment or a God who's still alive somehow after billions and billions of years. You need all of those things. Like, if we were created by something, it was an alien sending out von Neumann probes that dropped. Who created the alien. No, of course. I'm not looking for the beginning of the universe. I'm not trying to understand the big bang. Because no one does.

No one does. It's like all. It's about the universe again. Our capabilities to understand what nothing is, what truly nothing is, isn't, but we can't. Because it all says, all right, if there's nothing, I'm in this white room. All right. Well, the white room is something. And how did you get to the white room?

Consciousness is consciousness. And it is a shame that it. you know blink of an eye right like if this thing's 12,000 years old and the moon is billions of years old like you know how fast time goes now that you're 40 something in comparison to when you're relativity right so how fast is it going for those billion of years thing the thing is in the end for me is that this species whatever we are right humans whatever we are literally we have created such wonderful things that resonate with our brains, our visual

cortex. And from an artistic perspective, bless you, bless you, from an artistic perspective, from a music perspective, from a technology perspective, right? Like, these are, we have figured out a way to have a conversation, right? In

North Carolina, I don't know if you're still in the ATL, Woody, and St. Louis, like, we have created stuff, right? That points to the fact that we are a little bit more than something that lives also on this planet. And that's meaningful.

How we all got here, surely it doesn't matter in the context of the conversation. But it really doesn't matter because we can't understand what nothing is. Or we wouldn't be able to comprehend. If somebody came and said, oh, a simulation, I would have been like, yeah,

I believe that. I've seen enough Matrix movies. I believe that. If somebody came in and said an illusion or what we're talking about right now is happening in the course of lightning speed that's you're dying, you know, 20 years, 40 years from now. Like, nothing would surprise me. Yeah, I mean, there's no way to know.

Like, that's kind of even the people who are like very sure in their belief will default to like, well, we can't know for sure. That's kind of a big part of it. But it just like, it feels so meaningless and depressing for there to be. Like, if there is no God, no prime mover, like there is no, like morality itself is far See, I disagree. I've noticed that believers find their sense of right and wrong, and it's related to God. But non-believers also find a sense of right and wrong that's usually closely aligned without tying that to God.

I think that non-believers sense of morality is more pure than believer's sense of morality by definition, because a believer has a book written by men that he derives his morality from. So you'll, you'll see Christians say, well, I got nothing, I got no problem with the gays, but God, he don't like them, so I hate them too. Yeah. It's like, well, a non-believer just uses their own human morality and they say that people are people. A lot of my sense of right and wrong comes from empathy. Like, how would I feel if this happened to me?

How would I feel if I was treated the way that I'm treating other people? And, you know, how would I feel if my environment was changed in a way that I'm changing yours? And that is probably one of the guiding things that forms my sense of right and wrong. The golden rule. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. Or the platinum.

I mean, yeah, but the platinum. Wow. Those two things, right? The platinum rule people never heard of that is golden rule being treated as people as you'd like to be treated. Platinum rule being treat other people as those people would like to be treated, right? Maybe I don't like it when you make fun of me, but you think it's hilarious. Well, we have different ones.

So, you think making fun of you, I should say, is all in good fun, or is I'm very sensitive. I'm just making this up. Platinum rule and golden rule would be different there. Anyway, I don't think a sense of right and wrong has to be tied to any kind of belief system. And I think it's interesting that they both land in approximately the same place. What I think is that like secular people living in the Aztec Empire. had wildly different morality to secular people living today. And I don't think it's any, I don't think it's curious at all why secular people today kind of adopt that golden rule or platinum rule, as you say, because we are living in kind of the ruins of Christendom of Western Christian Catholic civilization.

And so like, when I hear people say like, oh, we really don't need a God or religion to create these moral codes. because I also believe the golden rule and it's like well you're like a fish swimming around in ruins and some other fish comes up and goes hey what do you think about this water stuff and you go what are you talking about? There's no evidence of water whatsoever.

I just happened upon these beliefs serendipitously and it's like no this was an eon of eons actually of societal pressure and religion creating a form of morality and now just because we're kind of at the end of that and a lot of people are turning away they still have that ingrained moral code

that was imparted by belief in higher power or religion because we can go to many, many secular societies and look at their morality and it's reprehensible. You know, it's things that would be totally disgusting to any of us. I've had that same thought before. Like, heck, do I think that my sense of right and wrong just came from what's obvious to me, or am I really just mimicking, you know,

what Christians are right and wrong? But then the inverse of that becomes true, too. And I see Christians have their sense of right and wrong sort of morph and change over the years. Like, I'm not educated enough to win any debates on this, but you could point to the wearing different kinds of fabrics that was like a big problem, a moral issue in Christianity a long time ago. And it no longer is. It used to be that they would really rip on, I don't know, wealthy people or money lenders and shit. Now they're kind of highly respected. oftentimes they are the leaders of megachurches and things like that.

And I'm just like, man, it seems like we're picking and choosing what's most important about religion to meet modern day sensibilities instead of the opposite. I can explain the mixed fabrics thing. It's fun to poke fun at the Old Testament in that way. But what that actually meant was you should not mix fabrics, meaning like if you are a high priest like Aaron was, you should also, you should not also don the garb of a local mayor or a ruler. Like, you are not both a ruler

and a man of God. Like, do not mix fabrics. But they weren't talking about cotton and polyester. No, they didn't have, they didn't have fabrics as we under, they didn't have those. So, like, it was, it was literally meaning like, don't be a religious ruler and a ruler of men. Like, don't be this and that. You know, stay in your lane. If you're going to pursue God and to do it. No, it's about two of fabrics. It's literally about wool.

You're incorrect and I would, I'm very sure. It's definitely about two different fabrics. It's about not mixing wool and linen so you can distinguish people apart so you can know the holy men from the common men or the Israelite from others. It's literal. They're saying don't mix wool. You're a Bible literalist? No, it's saying don't be, don't wear the clothes.

Well, Christians pick and choose when it's literal. They choose when there is a God and when there isn't a God. Sure. Lots of people, you know, are hypocrites and do this and that. I think everybody does. Everyone. Every single human. But like if you, like, let's be real, you think that passage was about like, don't sew wool and linen together because that shirt would be too comfortable and lead you to Satan that's retarded. I think it's not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together.

Yeah. I thought that it was to distinguish those who might wear wool from those who might wear linen because there were two different classes of people. I've heard speeches from, because I've. Watched them on YouTube of, like, biblical experts and others saying, like, this is clearly not about stowing things together. It's about not being a priest and a political ruler. The same way that, like, these guys, so, like, that verse goes against and would kind of condemn those guys, like those megachurch guys, who are enormous political influencers in addition to enormous religious influencers. Jesus would burst into their fucking church and be fucking the tables too

what do you think it's up with all the fucking poetry and religion you know why not just speak it as just the hey this is what I fucking mean word for word you know like just word don't be don't be poetic and psyched we don't know who wrote

I'm reading into it now that's the other I'm not an expert I just learned this but it's saying that there are two categories of clothing wool which came from animals and linen, which came from plants, and they're symbolically blended two different realms of creation. And by obeying that, you're showing holiness and obedience to God's order. It doesn't say anything about jobs, you know, and like being a mayor and a priest

at the same time. It seems everything I'm seeing points to literally not mixing those fabrics. It could have been a weird moral boundary to me. That's why what I said and that interpretation, Like, I didn't come up with this. Like, it's, like, it is accepted amongst a lot of religious people. Like, it makes more sense. And to Hex's point, it would be easier if they had just written, hey, if you're going to be a high priest hanging out in the tabernacle, you can't also be the governor because now you have, oh, man, I should really be following this rule God set out. But it's going to make a lot of my constituents unhappy. Ooh, fiddlesticks.

I guess now I got to do some mealy-mouthing. I got to do some compromise. The separation of what about meat with dairy? Well, there's also mixing meat with dairy and planting two different types of crop in the same. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stakeasadillas are off the table now? Yeah, absolutely. Now that.

No cheese. Indefensible. Indefensible. I think, you know, everybody, you know, it's a big book. They can get, he can get something wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, eating meat with cheese, that's something that, uh, charkootery boards, bro?

Charcudery boards. Ah, that's, this is something that like, uh, orthodox, like religious practicing Jews still don't do. So like Ben Shapiro has never had a cheeseburger. That's why he's so fucking sour all the time. Hmm. He's never had a bacon cheeseburger. That's, that's double sin.

Wow. What does he eat? Oh, the, like the linen thing, I feel like we landed on, there are a bunch of, I, I think anything was really just like a uniform like telling people what team you're on is what it was about by not mixing those you're showing your holiness you're broadcasting your belief system and it's something that we do today it could be a red hat it could be i see um sometimes people on tv and they were certain styles of glasses and i'm like that chick is liberal as fuck with those glasses on she's telling us what team she's on yeah and i think that's what the mixing of fabrics was all about it was as simple as that and it hasn't changed but to recast it is something else fits into my preconceived notion of yeah these rules are a little flexible we just meet what fits in modern society and that's you know it's understandable like it yeah because a lot of these are like especially the old testament rules are silly and that's why or a lot of them are silly because they were like like jesus hadn't come yet and so canonically it was like they still had to

sacrifice animals and do this and that that's why like to this day you can find like jewish groups in new york who do, I don't remember what holiday it is, but they like, they do that. They like try to put their sins on a chicken and then kill the chicken. And it's because they work because I can, just asking for a friend. Well, you hit the underground. Only if you eat the chicken to death slowly. That's, that's why. You're good.

It's my religious Jews still do a lot of that Old Testament stuff because they're like, oh, this Jesus guy, they didn't, they didn't like him so much. much. They were like, no, no. There's all sorts of, like, rules and regulations in there, especially if you go back to the Jewish mitzvahs and see, like, there's all sorts of rules about how to cut your hair and how to shape your beard. And it's like, God cares how I shave my beard. I think there may be some human influence in this holy book you've got here, because there's no way he cares about my beard. Or my dick. You may be cut the tip my dick off. Now you get, now you can, I can't free grow this. What are you talking about? I don't have a razor. I just have this sharp

What if humans didn't... You know it's 30 BC. Exactly. What if humans didn't never invented razors? Like, who got the idea? It's like, oh, man, this is kind of fucking bothering me. It's not... Animals do that on a daily basis.

They get rid of stuff that that bothers them, right? So, I don't know, man. There's a lot of inconsistencies in everything, right? And everything's possible, so therefore nothing's fucking wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of issues of interpretation.

with it because like you read Psalms really in the Bible I think that might be the longest book and it's just a book of poetry written by David and like it is so parable filled and this and that and you have to like look in between the lines to discern it

it would be easier if he was just if he 10 commandmented the whole book that would have been easier to get Yeah, because he really, you know, he really knocked out of the park with the Ten Commandments. He's like, boom, we're writing explicit rules down. What do you think the other five commandments were, Taylor?

That would be a fun. That would be a fun, a little bit. Oh, that. Because for those who don't know, for those who didn't see the Charlton Heston epic, Moses went to top, was it Mount Sinai? Yes. Yep. On top Mount Sinai, and he's up there talking to God several days.

And he just has freed every Jew in Egypt. He didn't really because the Jews didn't build the pyramids, but let's pretend he did. And he had them all downstairs of the mountain, and he was like, I'll be right back. I'm literally going and go up there and speak to God, the creator of the universe. He's got some words of inspiration. For us all, I'll be back. Of course, you remember last week, of course, when I made an ocean split apart so that we could cross through the dry ocean bed, and then I crashed it down upon the Egyptians and destroyed their army.

But I'll be right back. No, no, don't cover your nose. Keep smelling the burning bush, but I'll be right back. He's going for like three days. They've already forsaken God and created a new God. They all got their weird thing, all those Jewish slaves had enough gold on them to melt down and create a giant golden bull to worship. So Moses comes down after having spoken to God for not for like the fourth time in his life or something like that. and he's got tablets that God formed with his God hands,

I have these commandments for you. And he's so mad when he sees that they've already lost faith and worshipping. I don't think it's Baal, but it's a bull god of some kind. And he smashes one of the tablets, which presumably had the other five commandments. What was on those other? And you would think God would be pissed about that. I think God was pissed about that, but not. Yeah, he was.

That's why Moses didn't get to go to the. to Israel, right? Because he smashed that tablet. So he smashed that tablet and God was like, now you don't get to go to the land of milk and honey, Israel. Yeah. You know why.

Not so nice. Like as far as milk or honey. I like to imagine that Moses went up there or Abraham and went up there and was like, hey, or I guess Moses. And it's like, all right, I've got my papyrus here. Start listing. And he's like, no. I'm putting it on the heaviest thing you can imagine.

You're a son of a gun. Well, they're probably impervious to all things human, right? They're indestructible, right? Since they were formed by you, oh, no, don't drop them. Don't drop them. Careful with that. They really wrapped the first two, basically. It seems like if I drop the tombstone, I'd still be able to read it.

I mean, he must have thrown it down in anger. He must have really over-the-head slam to shut in that thing. As heavy as they were, he was able to lift it up. He didn't just drop it. That is crazy. Can you imagine a lower faith person than being like Wednesday, you split an ocean and are saved from certain death? And then like Saturday morning, you're like, nah.

Yeah. I'm going to worship this in a vacuum, maybe. But it's not in a vacuum because they had not only seen the Red Sea parted, but they had lived through the plagues. They had lived through the tribulations of Egypt. They had lived through Passover. For those who don't know, God sent the angel of death to Egypt to kill every firstborn son

in a house that didn't have lamb's blood splashed on the front door, which meant every non-Jew lost their first-born son that night. God's angels went and fucking gutted all the babies in the entire kingdom of each. God about the golden rule. That's pretty not so nice. Old Testament God did not believe in the gold. golden rule. That was born. Old Testament, God went hard in the paint. He was no holds barred. Well, I always say, it's not just, it's not even his gold's barred. It's clearly like a mean man

wrote the part of God. Because if that's what God is, I don't like him. If that's what God is, fuck God. Because God, God goes, you know what, Pharaoh, I know you were about to free my people and you've changed your mind. Come around full circle. Hell, you might even become a believer. And he shocked him with his God powers, and he hardened Pharaoh's heart. He literally mind-controlled Pharaoh to keep his people there longer

so he could, like, show off his magic god powers. It's something written by an imperfect being. That's like a big... Epistemological debate in religion is like the implications on that on free will and such like you know if did he have free will did god just identify that he wasn't going to do what he wanted anyway and do this but then if he wasn't going to do it anyway why insert yourself into it it's odd yeah that is like an interesting part of the story i love bible talk it's so fascinating it's a bad writer jay rowling's a better writer

I mean, I don't know. God wasn't nearly. Oh, true. Bible wins. There's one. Let's do it for time. No, no. Who sold more copies between the years 1990 and 2025?

That's the testament. The Bible, obviously. Are you done? Because unfortunately, J.K. Rowley wasn't around in the year, negative 50,000 billion, trillion years. You know? Even then. Really?

I mean, I mean, I'm willing to believe that, but... Dude, it's the Bible. Yeah. And what? They come with, like, different covers? Like, every year? The way, like, what makes people buy it again?

It's consistently the best-selling book every year, although it doesn't always appear on weekly bestseller list. Wow. Wow. What are y'all doing? You know, they're free in motels, right? What are you doing? Kyle, it's the Bible.

According to the chat, GPT. It is a good old. Yeah. Oh, okay. It is a, it is a, you know, some Bibles are very pretty books, man. They have the little golden, you know, margins. They have good smelling leather. So a lot of care goes into those things for sure.

Yeah, it's got to be the, I don't know how far you'd have to go back for the Bible to not be the best selling. You'd probably have to go, it's like, what, like 500 or something? Like that's like, or even then it might be too much. Maybe maybe like 200. There's probably some killer book and wrote. they were reprinting the Odyssey. Well, I don't know. Nobody could read back then.

So, like, the books were, there weren't printed books. You know, the printing press wasn't invented until the 1500s or whatever. Yeah. There's a lot of, like, really, really busy monks just doing that shit. Writz were writing the books. That's why they're, and they're beautiful. Like, when you see the, the artwork and the, what's that? I thought Ben Franklin, maybe it was the movable type printing press that he made.

I don't know. I know Eli Whitney did the cotton gin, but that was the extent of my education. I don't think Franklin did the printing press I think that was Gutenberg Yes I was going to say they named a Bible after the guy What's he called it's Gutenberg Yep

Because the Gutenberg Bible is a very famous Bible That was good That was teamwork That was you storming into the key Going it back to me Three-pointer swish I went to Catholic school growing up

And I remember clearly One of the nuns I can remember her face clearly. I said that if, I asked, if I read the whole Bible, will I get superpowers? That's what I would have been like third, fourth grade.

Would have been funny if I said, I had to have been like in seventh grade or something. I was a senior. I still believe in magic. And straight up lied. Yes. Yes. In front of the whole class.

And then I think about it and I'm like I'm like this is one of those things like when my dad used to tell me that if you beat the game the Mario Brothers game 100 times

he just automatically rolls over to Mario Brothers 2 wow your dad rules that's hilarious I don't know if it was my dad or wrong some someone an adult lied to me no no I didn't get to it fuck

instead of getting a summer job and earning Mario 2 you're just grinding away. Oh, yeah. I mean, what year did Mario 2 come out had to be like eight years old and I didn't have a job, but it wasn't a good pain.

89, it was 9. I'm guessing, I don't know. What are you playing? Mario 1 came out of 86. What? You play any games lately? Call of Duty Blackop 7. Really?

You got a battlefield, man? No, dude. Dude, that's my thing is good over there. I did. I like it, but. They've got the, you can key bind your uh your your uh left click to the um the scope uh zeroing button so just you don't have to do any zeroing so you can just one click people oh you're playing on with one of those well you can just one click

people 700 meters away in battlefield it's i do like that that i do like i like that ground that grandpa gamer that that's a sniper the grandpa sniper you seen them yeah yeah yeah of course yeah so i like i see that and i'm like oh my god that's like totally my fucking jam like uh I want to play it, but then I just hopped on the game, and I had just got enough of the crackhead Black Op 7, just what a game. I liked it a lot, man. I did.

Is that the current one? Well, it hasn't come out yet, but the beta just came out. I think Blackop Six is going to smush it this year, because, like, I don't know how much Battlefield is going to smash Cold Duty. It's what I meant to say. I don't know how much Battlefield you've played. But there's small maps, and on the smaller maps, man, it feels just like Modern Warfare 2 to me, but with sliding. It feels like, I think that, that guy from Infinity War, the guy who founded Infinity War,

Vince and Sampella. Yeah, he's part of the dev team. And then that Halo story guy, he was also part of the dev team, although I think there might be some drama there. But the smaller maps, like the CQB stuff, feels like old school cod to me, like Modern Warfare 2, BlackOps 1. Like I said, there is sliding, so there's some mobility. but it's not wacky call of duty like double sliding jumping and transitioning movement stuff and just there's i'm sure there's going to be people who can do movement in uh in battlefield but i can't it's it's mostly just straight up gunplay um and i like the vehicle stuff too

it's kind of like two different kinds of games to me yeah i'll play the cqb stuff with my friends and we'll kind of get burnout on that after a few hours i'm like you want to go play with fighter jets and helicopters and tanks now everybody's like yeah that would be a fun change of page and then we got you know I like being the support guy I like being the guy who just does some sort of like I think I would be the healer and what's the game where you got the guy just constantly healing you with the heel ray like team fortress I think yeah I would be that guy because my boys in the tank just destroying the whole map and I'm behind him with a little blow torch just heat and I'm watching his HP bar every time they hit him it goes down 25%

but I go no heal heal heal heal and I'm just continuously behind him like throwing and smoke grenades and just heal, heal, heal, heal. I love that. And then I like being the support guy who defibrillates people. I'm running around, just bringing everybody back to life. It's, I love that game. I've, I've played too much. I don't know how many hours I have, but I'm level 67 or something now.

When we go into, I play a lot and we don't see too many people who are the same level we are. There's a few people who have clearly cheated and they'll be like level 85, but I don't see too many. 65s that we play with. We put a lot of time in that game. What level are you in Hell Divers? 80, upper 80s. I'm not 150. I've only got like three or 400 hours in that game.

And a lot of my time, I just didn't care about the progression. And I was just solo goofing around. I didn't get so serious about it until maybe the last, I don't know, 100 hours that I've played where we don't really lose anymore. That's kind of why I lost. interest in that game is we don't lose anymore we just put it on maximum difficulty and run shop yeah i'm i'm not that so i started picking up hell divers my last game i don't even know what hell diver says bro i'm all right all right let me take a step back and i'm

tall about it i was playing night rain night rain is a souls like game and i thought i loved it i was just a dick to do it i have like 750 hours in it something like that and then they came out with a hard mode and in the hard mode you can't choose your boss anymore and it's made me realize Shucks. I think I don't like half this game. And I had just been playing the half I like again and again. And now that I can't pick and choose, I'm disappointed and frustrated way too often. And Night Rain is losing me a little bit. So I picked up Hell Divers. I only have 10 hours. And Hell Divers is interesting because mechanically, that game's easy as fuck. You're like shooting into hordes. The easier modes seem to be for people who've never played any games before. Like, it's. It is so wildly easy. One, two, and three are just, I use those when I'm farming currency. You're just running around, like, grabbing currency off the map because the enemies don't really even bother you. You almost can't lose.

And I think I play on four, so I'm not good. Mechanically, it doesn't, you don't have to be good, but there's a lot of strategies and stuff I don't use. My character, I'm level eight. He's not very advanced. So sometimes I just, like, don't even have anything that can hurt the more armored guys. I might not know what I'm talking about I could help you I bet you could because from level one

you're ready to fuck you've got you've got stuff like you just have to know what to use and when to use it like charges for example they're it's an insect that runs precision strike okay but they're not where I put the strike by the I have to anticipate where they're headed to

oh when they charge and when they end their charge they pause for three or four seconds which is also the call in time for the precision strike. You can also throw a stun grenade and stun them or a gas grenade and confuse them, or you can lure them into hitting a rock. All that ties into what my point was going to be,

which is like mechanically, it doesn't take much. But in terms of expertise, I have almost none. And we're probably doing dumb things. We put in sentries that kill each other all the time because there's friendly fire in that game. And I'm like, oh, shit, we're, like, protecting this area. Let's put a sentry gun right in the middle. Well, it turns out it will,

shoot you a lot. You can go prone. One thing we started to do is putting centuries up high, so they shoot down and don't mow us down quite as much. But I guess, like, in terms of strategy, I'm terrible. In terms of mechanics, nobody's terrible. It's very easy.

You'll get there. The other enemies require head shots and like quick head shots. And then there is a lot of knowledge. There's a lot of like knowing where to shoot enemies and stuff that you build them, especially with the bots. The bots all have like weird weak points. It's like,

oh, you have to shoot this one and the ankles? I've been shooting in the shins the whole time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've shooting the ankles. Yeah, that's sort of stuff I don't know. Usually, if an enemy has a weak spot,

it's like, oh, wait, do I have to hit him in the glowing orb? Okay. Yeah, it's like dead space where it's like, where do I shoot it? The, like, blinding, white joints of its spider legs? This game isn't like that so much.

And, uh, call it duty ruined. Multiplayer experiences ruined video games for me. Like, I see this thing and visually, I'm like, oh, my God, I would be, like, this is awesome. It looks great, but I just, I would, I would never, I would never play this game. And it's so much, I'm not standing on any, on any hill or anything. I'm just like, it's just not something that's appealing to me. You're talking about Hell Divers?

Yeah, I'm watching Hell Divers, too. It's a masterpiece by Tomographic. Dude, I think if you tried it. I'm not saying it would win you over and take you from your favorite game, but you get the appealed because it's cheeky and it's funny you're like clearly the bad guys and you and it's just like we got to spread democracy because these bugs they hate freedom and it's like wait are you sure i don't think they have an opinion on freedom they hate liberty they will destroy our way of life wow so america is like the bad guys for doing this in the middle east it's funny though

like one of the things you do in game is you like pop a grenade and you throw it in this hole that all the bugs come from. And they're like, have a cup of liberty. Then she throws the date of me. And it's hilarious. Like we'll team up with a random. I don't even know why this always happens. But every time we're like, hey, give us another person, I'm on his ship.

And now he's choosing the mission. Again, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm brand new. And my teammates and I are like, yo, Bryce 69 eater, let's spread some liberty. because he's not like choosing a mission anytime soon. And that's just like the dialogue we have to each other and stuff. Yeah, that's not really the culture. So what you want to do is if you want matchmaking on, you can do that.

But if you're hosting, you host it from your ship and people join you on your ship. Or I just turn off the public thing and I play in a match that just has me and my friend in it. Because you can just play duos and it gives you the right amount of enemies for two people or the right of enemies for three people. so you just turn off join in progress make it friends only or make it private and then you can just play solo or duos or trios or whatever you want to do i uh yeah this is mindcraft is probably like the only other game that i that has no i mean i guess it is multiplayer too but the majority the time i play just vanilla shit um but aside from that like there there really isn't anything besides call of duty that has ever like even call it duty doesn't capture my my uh the magic anymore you know for me

except you know the beta right now was exciting because it was better than the other two that they had released and we always get super excited in the beginning and we're all super positive about the hopefulness of the outcome of of next season et cetera et cetera which by the way ladies and gentlemen since last time we have spoke we have won we have become the first organization the history of Call of Duty to win back-to-back championships. World Championships, that is. Congratulations, man.

That's awesome. Outstanding. Thank you. Did what I came from where I was sitting. Also, first to win a world champs and EWC, which is the Saudi Arabian tournament that they held the Eastport World Cup.

The trophy that they gave us was fucking insane. And yesterday I... It was the Twin Towers burning. What are these little dancing figurines on this rooftop In the corner of the trophy That's me And I hosted a Call Duty four tournament yesterday

It was pretty Oh God for who played All new school people Who's on your team now I wonder if I recognize any names Shotsie Okay, I know that name Who else?

Shotsie, Dashy Dashy, Dashy should be, he's been He's been in Optic for a very, very long time Who and this new kid, Mercury's. Bro, you have to understand. Mercury's, that's a sick name. It's been so long since I've heard of the Gamer name. That's original as fuck.

That's aura. Hey, baby. Oh, pizza? Hell yeah. Thank you. I love that name. I love a good pun. mercilies i like that murk yeah mercury they call murk 30 this guy um bro you have to understand

the season that we had we started out oh and 18 after winning world champs right last year how many games are there how is that a recoverable season it wasn't it wasn't we were we barely made it to champs right because only eight teams uh make it make it make it to the league and or to the to the to the big show and uh we went from change after change after change and then finally I stepped I stepped in and I'm like I'm like a guys to dashy and shots you like yo let me help you man get yourself out of the way let me let me step in because I don't like to control teams like that right like right yeah traditionally you always let the players players play and and I'm like yo let me step in let me help you let's you know there's this kid named mercilies out of challengers so like second division call duty not not not quite pro but this kid comes in to optic on his uh he he comes in on his rookie year wins a call duty world championship wins MVP at that call of duty world championship damn mercury

then a month later it goes on to win e wc and he had such a fucking insane play bro it like this kid is a fucking monster like that i and it felt and i and i and i and i felt it and i and i I feel a little bit more, uh, more inclined to like watch and care more because it was like, and, you know, obviously, uh, I don't know why I feel this way in this particular instance because I mean, I help a lot, right? Like I, you know, we, this is my team, right? But in this particular case, I was able to help two players, two world champions to get out of their own way and allow me to make a decision for the team that ended up being, you know, a good thing. And the way that I presented to them was like, yo, I got you a president. It's late.

but I got your birthday present they're like what and I'm like Mercury's and they're like no no more changes and the rest is history man so is he he's solidly on the A squad now oh yeah dude yeah rookie season world champion and EWC will never be done again

and if it does I would be fucking mindblown it would be one of the wildest shit that ever happened that's awesome I have one friend who's into e-sports like watching the cod and all that and everything and I don't even talk about enough to know I don't know what team he's asked me about it and I'm like yeah I don't follow that shit at all

but I'm like team optic because I he's the only person in the pro gamers scene I know and he seems cool as shit and like yeah go optic and he's like oh those guys are like just perennial winners though like they they're just constantly dominating you don't want to see an underdog and it's like no no just we are the underdog

you're the underdog well oh okay starting the season as an underdog but then you you you tied it up and also like I have a group chat with a bunch of my buddies, just as we're talking about gaming. And the two friends of mine who are super into Battlefield quit the new battlefield. They're like, we're not really in on this. We don't, we don't like it that much. All my friends who were into Cod, which is a bigger group, disliked the new Cod, and now they're all playing Battlefield six to a ton. And so I'm

curious, like, are you seeing any sort of shift there, or is that just anecdotal that? No, I think I think there's definitely happening 100%, right? A bunch of people, yours truly included, are unhappy with Activision. And the way that they've mismanaged the franchise, the league is in shambles in a way. The only thing that's keeping it alive is the community, not keeping it alive in a negative way, but like the community and our interest, like we are, we realize very early that if, this thing was going to continue to be something that we would have to take the reins and just focus on what it is that we do, uh, so that we can continue to, you know, do the things that we love

to do. You know, my, my favorite thing to do is to put a team on the field and hopefully they win a championship and we continue to, you know, stack, stack chips and trophies. And that's, that's my life, man. You know, it's, it's been my life for the last 20 years and I, and I love it. And no matter what, what happens, you know, with, with, uh, with a business item, I don't of duty like i'm always going to be a an ally to the eastport and ally to the to the community of content creators that surrounds it and that's that's me in the fucking in the in the in the biggest core of me man like just somebody who who feels a lot for a video game that you know sure still around you know is there any or is there ever any since you're so close to these pro

players do any of them ever express like a lot of frustration at the COD franchise being like this is not what we became pros at like it's so different of course man look right now with the inception of the league right came the ability to sort of like exclude everybody right now as we sit here today there are 12 franchises and then there's a pool of talents as far as the eye can see that could be competitive against the current 12 franchises this kit mercury's came in just fucking shit on everyone right that has been pro players for a long time and it is a friendship league in some instances where pro players are looking out for pro players and they're like yeah you know they continue to to keep them as teammates and as

long as they're getting a paycheck everything's all good right they just show up and and do that then there are the the others who care about their careers care about the future of call of duty because they know that post retirement they they can have a career if they're doing you know content or if they're, you know, doing other stuff. So right now, as we sit here today, if there was a hector out there that had a team and was hungry enough to be able to do what I have been lucky enough to be able to do with my friends,

that opportunity is not there for them because they cannot compete at the highest levels and therefore can compete in front of like the biggest audiences. So called Driesen just in a really sort of shitty spot, man. and what would you do to fix it? I was going to ask. Open circuit, dude. What is open circuit?

If you want to get a, if you want to sponsor a team of four people, those four people can have an opportunity to play against Optic if they make it far enough in the bracket. Right now there's only 12 teams and only those 12 teams can play against each other and that's it. And there's this pool of talent, right? Because we shrunk, right? There used to be 400 teams that showed up to.

to MLG events. Now there's only 12 teams with four players on them. What happened to the hundreds of other pro players who still have it, right? Old and new that can make an impact and can have like these Cinderill stories that will allow for new brands to be born and new optics to be created

and then that's how you elevate, right? And we don't have that. Interesting. That's interesting, yeah. I would argue that in the NBA, there aren't many basketball players who belong in the NBA who aren't there now. There's a reason every rookie comes in and tends to not be very good.

They need a couple of years at that level to get it. But what you're telling me is there's probably a lot of guys who play cod who could compete at the high level if they got a chance. Let me put it to it like this. Let's say we win world champs last year and we get on the field and every single team, all 12 teams from last year, do the exact same thing that they did the year before. just because it wasn't that serious.

That would mean that we went an entire season with Mercilis who just won a world championship as a rookie and then EWC as a rookie to not have been able to win a championship in this rookie year and also win EWC. You said 12 teams before?

12 teams, yeah, 12 teams 4. See, that's not a lot of people. I looked it up because I was curious. There's 450 NBA players. It feels like the small rosters and the small amount of teams. You're definitely leaving some talent off the field. I was curious, like, sure.

I think iron sharpens iron, which is why they're not there. Oh, yeah. And even the NBA is the smallest player base of any of the pro sports, because you don't need as many people. Like, look at the NFL as a pool. Well, I am. That's a giant.

Baseball. Yeah, baseball. There's a bunch of guys sitting on the bench, just happy to be there. Yeah. Are the makers of call duty, do they do still do those like events with players and do they listen to feedback i guess is the more important question they ever did they ever change things like like like notably when to to player feedback or beta feedback yeah it depends on the studio uh it depends on the studio matt stonks

right now is sort of leading the way i think i think he's like our new vanderhar i know all of you are familiar with him uh you know when when vanderhar left like there like you felt his absence right because he was such an ally to Call of Duty e-sports. And although it's such a tiny portion of the overall fan base of Call of Duty, like we do

carry our own weight in terms of what we bring to the table. I've been working at this thing since you guys have known me from the beginning of time, right? Like it's, um, what, next year is going to be our 20th, optics 20th year anniversary.

And it's crazy because, I mean, remember the times right when when back way back when optic optic was not in on popular team we're always a popular team and 20 years later was still a very popular team so it uh we're doing something right but there's also like a lot of things that we could be doing better and it starts with hopefully using our influence to enact change that will allow people like me in this day and age to have a shot at building something as beautiful as I have with the logo behind me. Was it weird because I remember originally way back in the day when all of us were making

commentary videos that like optic predator, like those guys who just did like crazy sniping videos, was it weird transitioning out of that? And I remember Hutch. Hutch was a part of it too. He wasn't as big of a sniping guy, but like transitioning from the like montage scene into the pro scene where I'm sure you had to make a lot of changes and be like, yeah, sure, Predator, you're great at

this, but you can't really hack it when it comes to response time against these other guys with MP5s. Yeah, and I don't think it was that because we started in, I started playing Caldry too where it was just strictly competition. There was no like real YouTube videos. The first, you know,

some of the first YouTube videos that we saw back then were, you know, dazzle quality sort of things. And there were all scrim matches and some, you know, was obviously doing montages back then with the you know the 180 switch pistol to the scope etc the g shot yeah the g the g shot uh he got me hook on and sinker fuck yeah dude we started we started in in competition and then we realized that we were never going to be good enough to be a top 50 team in the in the game battles ladder so we turned into youtubeers and then

competitive sniping uh you know became a thing thanks to a lot of of work with me and my teammates and um you know competition was always there and then we're like oh you know we're sort of got this montage sniper thing on lock and there's a lot of viewership there you know there's MLG let's go come that seems cool let's go compete in that and ever since then it's just been a you know from the nate shots to the scumper jumpers all the way till the shots he's on the merciless now you know like it's you know we still have the best sniper in the world and dashy dude you know like it's it's formal still competing he's about to compete in his last Halo World Championships, you know, this weekend, if all goes well.

So, like, you know, we're still doing the same thing that we've been doing for the past 20 years. What's big time are doing now, big time? Trading stocks, living in Florida, has a wife and a kid, just making YouTube commentaries. If you go to his channel, he uploaded three videos today, I guarantee it. I don't think he'd recognize me if we were in the elevator. Of course you would. I always liked that guy. Yeah, no, of course you were.

Of course you would. Yeah, that's where it's at, man. Yeah. No, I'm glad you got into Hell Divers. I think you're going to, I hope you keep playing and getting some of the later stuff. It's really fun. That's, that's in my, like, Hall of Fame of Games at this. Really?

It's been too soon. You can't say that. It's like, didn't it come out two years ago? Yeah. One and a half years? Yeah, it's just the perfect mix of all the things. I love. I love the co-op nature of it. I love the satire

and the comedy of the lore. I like the gunplay. I like I like the hoard shooting. I like the variety of enemies. I just shoot bugs, but there's two other enemy types. There's like so many hours of I love how they

monetize in a world where so many games are predatory the way they monetize their cosmetics and their classes. I'm thinking of Dark Tide. Dark Tide came out of a similar time and it's a very similar game. Darktide is such a shitty unprepared game with a completely predatory monetization system whereas with helldivers you can earn everything

that's in that game by playing that game or you can send them $10 every time you want a war bond. What's that? The amount of time it takes to earn $10 worth of game stuff? I feel like it's just right. I feel like because each war bonds so war bonds is a theme, is a thematic bundle of weapons, gear, air strikes, and cosmetics. So one of them will be all about fire. So it'll be an armor suit that protects you from fire, a fire grenade, a flamethrower, and you unlock them with a separate currency that you earn in the game,

that you'll just always have plenty of. But it's $10 to get that war bond unlocked. And there's maybe eight war bonds. and they cost a thousand credits each, which equates to $10 U.S. dollars. You can earn a thousand credits and if you're grinding specifically for the credits and you know how to do it, a few hours.

Like maybe five hours of like really going after it. And you're playing the game while you do it. It doesn't feel like work. I don't have an educated opinion on the monetization yet, but I always love what Eldon Ring did, which is there is no monetization, none. Do you need help in this game? Fuck you.

There is no help for you. This game is hard. But on the other hand, like when you boot it up and it's like press any button to continue, it's like, you mean I don't go through the gift shop on the way to the game? I'm used to con or Xbox where it seemingly the store is your home page.

Yeah. And I don't like that. Battlefield's been okay so far with, so one of the things they did, there was a lot of backlash. And 2042, I think, was a complete failure with, with sales. These games cost

$400 million each to make and take like three or four years of developing time. So to fail on that was a big deal to them. And their whole marketing campaign and like their the way they've communicated with the fans has been about getting back to basics. They had that that fun teaser ad

where it's like Patty Pimblit and three other celebrities as as like battlefield operators and they're like wearing street clothes with machine guns are like, all right, let's do this thing. And then a bomb goes off. And they all explode and die and four realistic looking special forces guys like moving like who was that doesn't matter keep moving and it's like they're sort of sending this message that like we're not

doing that silly cod thing we're not we're not about guns with dix for for bayonets our camos don't like move around and warp with nebulae um we're and they've stayed true to that mostly i see the season one pat that season one starts at the end of the month they're releasing a battle royale which I think is going to be super popular and they're starting their season one of stuff like their battle pass equivalent stuff and in that

there's already some camos and some player gear that it's like it's a little loud so the fan base is already like took 18 days huh to go back on your word now of a sudden we got this guy running around with like a blue mask on

looking like he's raiding or some shit so like I'm gonna be interested to see Well, they don't like that. I think the core battlefield audience wants to be grounded, realistic. Oh, yeah, Battlefield for sure. Like one step away from Millsim, I think it's what Battlefield players want. Like, it's definitely the old school battlefield guys.

They don't want Peter Griffin running around with an AK causing problems. Hecks, you are muted. Oops. He's been muted. He was speaking too much truth. Yeah, we censored him for speaking the truth. It was them. Marshall, right?

When they promoted Battlefield, like it was, it was, you know, three actors walking through through the thing. And here comes the real soldiers, sort of, you know, kicking, kicking Call of Duty down and trying to make fun of them. I mean, not trying successfully so doing it. And look, for a long time, I'm like, yo, I think they took it too far. And I think they took the community's sentiments a little bit too far in, in us saying, hey we're we're okay with with the whole realism of war what we meant by that is we don't need to

be in world war too muddy there's no brightness to anything it's just all this fucking gameplay that you can see right we're not saying that and they're like oh okay so yeah man look we're already jumping up a building so not breaking their ankles like we already know it's fake right they already knows like give us give us something and started with the camels and then it moved on to the to the uniforms and man if you have that why don't not have you know Godzilla and King Kong like they turn into this advertising machine which is which I get and understand their form of entertainment and all that but when they brought in King Kong and Godzilla they also brought in the characters so now you're

unrelated that'll never go away like they found a new revenue stream another great example of this is where Hell Divers kills it again so Hell Divers does those like IP deals too but they do it with IPs that are very similar like almost like like like um a breast of them they um i'm spacing out on the there's a halo one halo one that so hail divers are very much odesty soldiers like they do the drop pod thing and their their special forces guys so mixing halo in their uniforms look they already look like odesty guys they just put an odist t helmet it just made a green halo shotgun yeah well odesty aren't aren't but you get the idea and they did kill zone too i don't know kill zone's an older uh IP you may not even remember

that but also very similar and they tie it in really well. Godzilla has nothing to do with Call of Duty. No. You know what I mean? No, if I'm trying to play Call of Duty and like at least enjoying a little bit of fantasy of being a warrior on a battlefield and I

see like Joe Swanson wheeling around the corner shooting at me, it's like this is retarded. Like this is that's what they did. You know they literally did that. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. They've got Joe Swanson running around. it's not just once and it's it was american dad right and uh and that alien

stan smith and then they got i don't remember the aliens name but uh not oscar wasn't that peter griffin was on their suit bro look peter griff he was a fortnight they lost me at ninja turtles dude when i saw ninja turtles running running wars and i was the fuck is going on here like i i get it how did nicky minage not not lose you because that to me was fortnight right oh no no that was caught cold duty has name Mickey Minaj running around? Yes, her fat ass is the biggest hitbox in the game. That's horrid.

Why would they do that to their poor player base? Well, who doesn't want to be teabagged by Nicky Minaj? It's my dream come true. No. Yeah, no. No? You don't want to be teabagged by Nikki Minaj. I don't remember what she looks like offhand. Jack, show us what Nikki Minaj looks like.

Remind Taylor real quick. Can you show her in Call of Duty? Both. Both. Okay. they've got they've got Skeletor That's sick

From Spons begin at Todd McFarland Yeah the I'm trying to think of his name Who is that guy John Linguizamo in the movie Yeah Linguishamo plays the character His character name's cool though Oh there's the game What the fuck?

What have they done? What is what even is this game anymore Now he'll be Nick Minage in real life And make it a good one That's And then after that, look at the optic skin, too. It's fucking sick. I'm all in favor of the optic skin.

But this is Nikki Minaj holding that's your comment. Yeah, this is, uh, can we, can we see Nicky Minaj's ass, Zach? Can you, can you make that happen? Like, while we're all here. He has the tech. No, Nicky Mina. He has the technology. Yeah.

Yeah, I think, I think they took it a little bit too far. are, you know, at some point everybody understood. Home run. He did it. Oh, tee bag me. My God. I just want to get all up in there. There's a character in Gen V whose asshole is a literal black hole.

And they use it occasionally. Like people crawl in there. Like he's got infinite. He's like he's got a TARDIS for an asshole, basically. Ooh, these optics. That's what I want to do to Nicky Minaj. I want to get in there. I like this optic stuff.

lot. Way better than fucking Nicky Minaj or Peter Griffin dancing around. So this optic skin, like when you wear it, cosmetically this is what it looks like. But when professional players play, they just choose whatever skin they want to use. And then the codcaster will assign these suits to each

particular, well, this to my team and the other people's teams to the other one. But for them, they don't get to see the bright greens and all that stuff. They're just playing as vanilla as possible so that they can have like, you know, the benefit of the camouflage. But yeah.

Yeah, because this is not very camouflaged. It's very loud. Yeah, dude, you know, there's, there's, there's just a lot, a lot that, that, uh, they went a little bit too far and, and, and some and this is, this is, this is, I'm okay with this, you know, I, it's just like a stylish Antifa member. This is cool. Well, this, this is cool. Yeah.

But the, I mean, the celebrity part of it is so weird where it's like, why would I want to play as? It's so insane to me. I can, I can, I can, I can, what would be a good tie-in? What should ball duty pair with? like what mission impossible I was thinking like if they did a World War II game

I'd love to see like a whole fury thing like I want to see Brad Pitt operator give me the whole fury get Shy LaBuff in the tank I want Shy LaBuff with like a bad breath attack yes I did a shower for weeks right yeah which is so funny he was cutting his own face with a knife

when everyone else is like we are actors and we're professional and he's like no I can't be an actor It was mine. I mean, I mean, okay. Look what they've done to my baby.

Right. This is, this is absurd. Bro, I, oh man, look, I understand,

man, business is business and, you know, us in their situation, maybe, or me and mine in their situation, I would try. There's a Santa Claus.

Dude, look at this shit. Yeah. This shit sucks. This is really, really gay. Like, why did they do this?

Look at the gun. Return profits. yeah short-term game bro they they have like this lizard this psychedelic hippie lizard

that like has a finish move where they oh Seth Rogan's in it you know they got Seth Rogan I don't hate that Hey next I have a question hit me of all the Cod advertising campaigns

Do you have a favorite I mean I'm going to have to go with the one where Nate Shud and Jack Courage, Don Lop, we're in. That was pretty cool. To my friends in that commercial, national television, fucking NBA games,

fucking NFL games and shit like that. I know my favorite. It's the Kyle one, right? I was like that meme of Leo, like leaning forward, pointing at the screen room, like, oh, I know him. He's my friend.

Dude, everyone knows that like six degrees of Kevin Bacon game. Because Kyle was in that, with Robert Downey Jr. Now I can play 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon pretty effectively like Woody to Kyle Kyle to Robert Downey Jr.

And Guy Richard. He directed it, so I got to actually like chill with him. Dude. My, my goat. My fucking goat. Dude, if I met him, I would have the same reaction as if I met the Rizzer, if I met Michael Jordan or if I met Brad Pitt or if I met. That guy was so cool.

Who else? Like they were, we were in at Paramount Studios. in the giant blue room where the walls are all blue screen and all the rubble and the like burnout cars are practical effects they're really there the street is practical it's it looks like broken up asphalt and while they're setting up the camera they've got like the NFL style like wire camera that flies over and does stuff while they're setting that up guy richie is playing his guitar and singing songs for us it was bizarre and i didn't think he was even going to be there they said guy rich he was directing and i thought they just wanted to to like the credit. They wanted the name like attached but he was there and like work. Did he direct you at any point? He did direct me. Oh, dude.

I'm so jealous. Like he just in a one on one he came to me while I'm in the middle of the set and he's like all right so here's what's going to happen this is going to come in like this and you're going to look up and you're scared but not in a bitch way. You're scared to like resign to my fate kind of way

like he sort of he did direct me it was a really cool experience. I love Snatch. We all love Snatch. What about... Oh, the movie. The gentleman. The gentleman was really good, yeah.

The show on Netflix, the gentleman. I like the show okay, too. Yeah, same, same, same. What about Mobland? I haven't seen Mobland. I haven't seen that either. I like the box stock and two smoking barrels, of course. Of course.

Tom Hardy is in Mobland. Pierce Brosson is in Mobland. It is... Oh, I've seen that advertised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, it is such a... It is such a good fucking show. Like, you will, you will enjoy it 100% as dark.

It's Tom Hardy plays this fucking, you got to watch. I love Tom Hardy. He doesn't miss. I like Pierce Brosnan. Dude, Tom Hardy rules. Have you ever seen the interview with him where they're like, have you ever had gay sex? And he's like, of course, I'm an actor.

And it's like, hilarious. Like, that's the funniest possible way because you're also incriminating fellow actors in having gay sex. Like, of course, I'm an actor. He puts his arm around Gerard Butler. Wait a minute, man. In the movie Rock and Rolla, the Wild Boys, Idraselba, you know, their friends. And Tom Hardy plays, you know, comes out as gay, in it.

Is your handsome Bob, you've seen my stuff? It's all good. Dude, Tom Hardy rules and everything. He does. Him and like, if I see him, movie with Tom Hardy or Jonah Hill or Christian Bale. I know I'm not nearly as cultured as Kyle and Woody in the movie scene because I haven't seen a lot of movies. But those three, I love, especially

Jonah Hill. I think I'd put him at the tippity top. Like, he kills it and everything. He's willing to gain. I say willing to gain. He reverts to to his normal eating and then he'll get fat as hell in like war dogs. And war dogs is a sick movie. Or he'll be fat as hell in Moneyball. Moneyball is is like a top five movie all time for me. I love that one scene. Which scene? Where he overacted.

And he's out on the point. He's like, I got the, I was like, you took me out of the movie. But I do, I do like the movie. A lot, a lot, a lot.

But they're just in one scene. I was just like, oh, that's not real. You didn't convince me. I agree. That was a little much because that wasn't with his character.

The way he would have done that, the way that established his character was like, quietly talking and like kind of giving eager eyes to Brad Pitt and then hanging up expressing the success not the because he hadn't really done that yeah took me out a little bit Jonah Hill rules though and I don't give a fucking about baseball and that movie's great yeah same same same guy rich he did make a movie called wrath of man with jason statham and it kind of I'm gonna be honest so there's one of the few times where I've been like I'm man this movie just really isn't for me and the reason why is because his mon is mon the monologues that

he assigned to the actors were written in an english tone and an english uh vernacular and to have an american deliver it with american english just did not hit the same that the the initial opening monologue when they're in the in the in the money truck have you guys seen it no it's still a good movie it's still a good movie makes too many movies i i got to pick and choose which which jason's i i i only the crissal she's cheesy all no Kyle in this movie

Jason Statham has to rescue someone and there's like a really strict time constraint does he it's different than anything he's ever met it's different than

you're telling me that I've got to go to East London find this girl like all action movies are kind of copy paste more or less but man

Jason Statham movies are just they don't even bother changing the font. Wait, so you haven't watched the beekeeper. Or the working man. What are you telling me?

You're telling me these bees are going to destroy the will. And I've got to kill all these. No, my watch. Watch this. Throw it in the ear, does a roundhouse cake fucking hits it through the and shit.

I have the queen. I like that Jason Statham, unlike a lot of celebrities, has the balls to not address the fact he's like a Norwood 10 with no hair at all. all on the top. And he still gets pussy.

One. Isn't that nice? From what we know, right? Yeah. Like he's a, he's a sexy man. He's a good looking man. But he also is bought. Norwood Woody is the scale by which day. I think you have the numbers wrong, right? Isn't a Norwood, does it go? I'm one of them. Oh, maybe am I, am I reversing it? Does the higher number mean you have more hair? I thought it went to five, but I'm checking. Well, he's, he's a, he's a, he's a Norwood, whatever step before total. It goes to seven. Speaking of buff dudes, Kyle, are you still buff? I asked you earlier, and I think you misheard me.

Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely not as huge as I once was. But you're still like keeping it off and you don't have to do much. I probably work out four days a week or something like that. But I'm not eating like I was before. Definitely not as clean as I was before. And not even the right amount of calories. Probably under eating some days.

Yeah. I've been thinking about like, what is it? What is the what are you? What is that? I've been thinking about like doing another. At 7.30, mind you. I mean, thinking about doing like another like heavy phase and, uh, and trying to like, like big as hell did turn into a charm.

What does a Charamander turn into a Charmielion? Charmielion. And then after that, what? Charmander. A charizari. No, it wouldn't go back to the same thing. Yeah. Okay.

Some, you know, sometimes you regress a little. Or maybe, maybe he wasn't as confident. That's just cultural knowledge. That's not even political knowledge. It's just cultural knowledge. But, you know, maybe you turned into a Charzard this time. Yeah. Charizard.

Yeah. And I'm interested in, like, what new performance enhancers are available as time has gone on. Because I haven't talked to Derek about that in a long time. Like, if there's new stuff, like, new technology that I could inject into my body. You're at the, like, the plateau of jacked, though. So there's really no reason to get back. No, I can get much bigger. I can get much bigger.

Yeah, but you are the one. I told you to stay big as hell when you sent those photos of you late at night at like 3 a.m. during COVID. And I was like, you've made it, brother. You're jacked. You're big. And there's a little bit of fluff there, which tells me that you're strong, actually strong. Because if you want someone to be actually strong, you got to have a little bit of fluff there, a little bit of fat. That's why we're going to.

That's why old linemen are a little, you know, fluffy. Yeah. But it's just a 6-8 guy from Nebraska who's strong as hell, but he's not, like, shredded, you know? Yeah, there was a point before I started any cutting where I was probably like 225 and lifting 325 and just real big, just real big. But I didn't like the way I looked. I looked too fluffy. You looked great. That was perfect.

And obviously, like, the final cutting phase wasn't like an ideal aesthetic, but it was just what we were going for. from the beginning. I remember from the very beginning, I was like, Derek was kind of asking me what I wanted to do. And, uh, and he sort of threw it out there. He's like, oh, Derek, I want to be thirsty. Yeah. I want to be sparched. He threw it out there. He's like, and we could even do like a, like a legit show prep like you're about to step on a stage somewhere. And I'm like, you know what? Yeah, that's exactly what I want. I want to go a hundred percent full hog. I want to go all the way to like, if I'm trying to step on a bodybuilding stage at the end of this. And so that's what we did and just dehydrated the fuck out of myself and just look crispy.

I know. I'm just saying you, the best picture you sent to me, us in our group chat, was not the one at the end where you're like, just you look so tired and so hungry and so crispy. And you're just, you're smiling.

It looks like you're like looking at a Chipotle across the street through the window. Like as you're doing it, It was when you were in the gym with the tank top and you were a big beefy boy. Do you remember that? That's what I told you to stop. The one I chose to be was probably one of those gym pictures. But the one that was most impressive, the one that was hardest to achieve with the last day pictures. For sure.

Like that takes a tremendous amount of willpower and due diligence to just decide, oh, pictures of tomorrow. Okay. No liquids for the next 15 hours. But I think that Kyle from four weeks earlier could steal the last one's girlfriend. The last one is the one that impresses me the most. Yeah, that was the hard, that was the thing. It was because, like, as I was cutting that weight off at the end, each week, it's harder to cut weight because you weigh less and you're fitter. And it was just, every day was a harder day.

And it got harder every day for two months of that weight cut. It was just less calories every day and more cardio every day. And if I didn't hit my weight numbers, which I had to report to Derek, I knew who was going to take food out of my diet or add cardio. Or maybe both or maybe both That was my favorite part It was hilarious Kyle I don't want to exaggerate

And say he had like genuine fear But it was like It was a burden He's like I need to weigh this much By tomorrow morning I've started my cut tonight Because if I don't weigh that much tomorrow morning Derek will take food from me

Oh yeah I'd text Kyle back and be like Why don't you just have a snack man And he's like I already had my handful of popcorn I'm like oh my God Have a snack I already smelled chocolate

What more do you want Oh there was no chocolate I didn't have There was a smell Are you gonna go in a big Jacked plot line You're gonna get Dude I wish man

I don't know what I don't know how to trigger my brain To just say yo man Like food ain't that great It's impossible Food is that great It's just you have to force yourself To lift

And once you get into to lifting, it's not a burden. It's a fun thing to do. Like, you kind of look forward to it. I have a gym and literally fucking 50 paces from where I said. Are there clothes hanging on anything? No, no, no. This is in the, in the small garage. Have you ever done a strict workout regimen? Never in my life. Never. Okay. You can get a lot. That, I was asking because that's a good thing. because if you invest six months in doing just baseline workouts, like whether it's calisthenics, dips, pull-ups, like regular weightlifting, you can, and this is for everyone out there,

the first six months you lift, you get noob gains. You gain so much faster. Don't let yourself, if you're working out in your first six months and you think you're going to, like on a linear path, don't fall for it because you're getting like a huge amount of gains. and then it's going to plateau a bit. But if you just dedicate yourself for six months, you will be bigger for the rest of your life and more muscular

than you otherwise would have. Just six months. Put six months of nub gain lifting in. Get on the TRT. That's the first step is getting on TRT. And then everything is easy mode. Then you play with like the fucking guardrails in bowling. Like you just can't miss.

It's double XP weekend. It's double XP weekend. That I understand. That's it. That's it. If you want infinite double XP and you don't have to sleep anymore, like, it's TRT. It's such a cheat code for getting fit and strong and building muscle and losing fat and just feeling good. It's, it's nitrous oxide from men. It's, well, the other stuff helped. Dream drug. I mean, I was on a fucking cocktail. You know, I was taking, like, like, I don't remember how many pills a day, but it was somewhere between 15 and 25 pills a day, depending on what was. going on and then all those shakes and with like scoops of supplements put into them and then I was injecting an entire syringe of carnitine into my ass every day and then my TRT every day and then I was taking some other stuff too you know just are there pictures anywhere have you did you share those ultimately or yeah Zach can find them real quick the the finish pictures but

I don't want to see the poster above your bed though okay I don't want any I I would dislike so much having to inject myself with something with a needle regularly. I would not like that. To me, I've talked about how when I would get fit, I would spend a lot of money on supplements because the guilt of having that money invested

would get me out of bed to go to go lift. Jesus Christ! The like pain and effort of going through injecting yourself is also... I'm the end state picture, Zach. This is when I told Kyle to stop. I was like, your juicy as hell brother and I'm proud of you and I want you to

stay at your peak and you were like no I actually need to lose 50 pounds bro yeah I did a full Mac and that's so funny on the on the left like as if it wasn't enough of a transformation they're like yeah let's add a filter to make his skin look bad as though that was also

I may have been burnt from the tanning bed too that's also a possibility the vascularity dude holy shit yeah you get a popping but look how thirsty he looks Oh, I'm so thirsty I'm so thirsty there, bro Find another one, Zach

You know what? You've actually, I've never looked Let me see You got a nice little nips Do you have better calf muscles Than Woody now or is that still not? No, that's genetic Cams are the most genetic muscle

Dude, I fucking have the worst I get mad at my dog Yo, what's up with the left picture You're just red? Yeah, I don't know why I'm so red I think I genuinely might have gotten in the tanning bed and burnt myself

for the pre-picture for some reason Is your before picture, like a week or two into it? No, I don't think so. There's a good one. Oh, look, he's got me on the website. Fun. Instagram, maybe. This guy's the guy that put you on?

Yeah. Derek from More Plates, more dates. He's been on a Rogan a few times. He's kind of a, like, a steroid expert. I think his YouTube channel originally did sort of half the time they would do sort of, what steroids he thinks certain athletes or actors might have been on and that was that got him a lot of views but he would also do like scientific stuff and like uh sort of reviewing different protocols different drugs different um stuff in the performance and sort of the bromaxing performance enhancing realms uh things like um amino acids and um um sarms and uh t rt of course and just any number of steroids and things you can inject into yourself and he owns the uh he owns uh the uh the um gorilla mine that we um that he we're partnered with him we make our com pills with uh with derrick you what our cum pills or uh are not familiar with these

no so we have a product called lock and load that increases the volume of your ejaculate also it's purlescence and uh and it shoots farther too and it's comically effective and we work with Derek to make it happen. Yeah. We've been selling it for like five years now. We've sold tens and tens of thousands of bottles of it. Yeah. It's amazing, dude. It works. It was funny. Like, I was doing, I was doing that body transformation thing. And I was also, I was doing everything. I was just, I was really into just treating my body like a chemistry set. And I had, I had looked into load maxing as it's called. And, uh, and I had done all this research on my In the industry.

Yeah, about different supplements you could take to, because I'm already taking like double fistfuls of pills every twice a day. So it was like, you know, adding three or four more pills to make me come more just seemed like, why not? So I was doing that. And then I talked to Taylor and Taylor's like, yeah, I've been doing that too. And I was like, should we hit up Derek and see if he wants to like just market and create a product, which is a bottle of it. up there actually yeah yeah yeah and uh and he was like i saw it i didn't know what it was and i had this embarrassing moment where i had to send derrick this text met i i would he was sort of my coach and trainer and and uh confid throughout this whole body transformation like like he

he was constantly there with this expertise to help me with not he made my whole diet plan my whole workout plan and my like drug regimen was influenced by him to some extent there's of course doctors involved at the later stages but uh but i had to send him this text message and it's like Hey, we were thinking about selling a pill that makes you come more. And what do you think about doing that? Can we do that maybe through your company? And I was just, I was like, he's going to laugh at me or he's going to think this is weird or gay or something. And I see, it says Derek recording voice message.

And I'm like, okay. And it goes on for five minutes. Damn. And he sends me this five minute long voice. And he's like, yeah, I've got a lot of boys in the loat maxing. I'll hit up them. and I'll talk to the guys at the lab and see what they can do. Are we talking about capsules, a serum, injectable?

Like, what do we want to do here? I've got some ideas. I'll hit up them and I'll get back. And he had this whole, like, well thought out. It was just immediately right into it. No judgment. He cares about efficacious dosages. He does.

Not any of that. That's why he's so great. And it ended up being, I think, inarguably the best idea we've ever had in regard to the, I can tell you that the com bandit 69 on Reddit four years ago said, I measure my load size for four months to evaluate the efficacy. The efficacy, efficacy, thank you, second language, of lock and load. Here are the results.

It's just come. It's just come. Just pictures of cum for you to compare. Some unhappy girlfriend going, just tributes to Nikki. Minaj. Like, look at this. She doesn't even feel honored in the before picture. Nice had a booker cover.

Dude, this is the best in the business. It's not even close. I believe it. I believe it. Actually true. We're pillars in the Jiz biz. Okay. I love that. I love the tagline too. I'm going to bring this up on the, on the optic podcast next week. Yeah.

No, yeah. We got to make sure. Lock and load. Four months, lock and load. I got to show Scump. Is Scump trying to bust? No, no, no, no, but he's not on, no, no, this is also a joke. But he is expecting his first. If the baby holds on an extra eight days, he'll be born on my birthday. Oh, to me, all my kids are having kids, man.

This month, February, February, very night. My birthday, February night, yeah. I didn't know if you wanted to say your birthday. I was trying to ask in a weird way. That's my. Yeah. Yeah, dudes, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to be invited as a guest yet again. I appreciate it.

Hopefully next year, if I have the opportunity to come back on, it will be exactly on Halloween so that I can see. Kyle with his, whatever. What are you going to be this week? Actually, you know what? I shouldn't spoil it. Yeah. Let me get surprised. We had a couple of funny ideas.

Okay. Well, boys, audience, P-K-A all day. I appreciate everybody. Thank you so much. man. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, Hex. Always great seeing you. What a consummate professional. Just always the easiest. And yes, we will hear from some wonderful advertisers.

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Use code P-K-A. Just paid the five bucks in shipping and see if this is right for you. And I think it will be. I think it will be right for you. And as always, the Tadalafil is what we personally recommend because Kyle led us in that direction. And it worked so well that Woody and I never went back to the well to try a different one. It works fantastically.

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and it doesn't you know why because any product that tells you to take one pill fucking once every three days is not going to do the same as a product that demands that you take six pills a day, three in the morning, three at night. You want results, then do it. There's calories in these pills, motherfuckers.

Like, that's, it's real. Like, you're, you know, if you're on a calorie deficit, a lot, what is it like, 60? No, it's 50 calories. Yeah, it's a filling. It's a filling weight. You want a snack? Take your lock and load bills. Check it out. You will enjoy. it code PCA or Code Giz to get a little discount there. And of course, if you're buying any

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So buy a t-shirt, buy a hoodie, buy some stickers, buy a mug, support the show. Check it out. Code PKK 10, if you want to save 10%. No code if you want to pay full price. there we go check them all out support the show give us a just a little taste give us a little taste anyway oh man well what's new with you guys we haven't got to show the NBA season started two days ago yesterday the Sixers played their first game we have this rookie that we're excited about and he had a good game not just a good game a really good game I think he drop 36 points and some good amount of three-pointers, which means, officially, if you look at points per game and three-pointers per game, he is the best player to have ever touched the ball. He's only played one game, so it's a small sample size. He's giving up Joe Biden numbers.

He leads the standings for all of time on points per game and three-pointers per game, better than LeBron, which is better than Jordan, which it's as good as it gets. The man is the best player ever. I really stop the count. That is, stop the count. That is the thing I dislike the most about NBA stats. And granted, everyone out there might talk shit to me. And I don't know anything about basketball.

My inroad to basketball is Woody. And the fact that they do like stuff per game, as a stat is absurd. It's like you could have, you could play 28 games a year and have banana's stats. Yes. But it's not truly applicable.

I have some value. Like if you're a player and I want to know how well you'll do in this playoff game, then season long numbers tell you something, but maybe points per game do a little more. Maybe you were hurt for 20 games and you're way better than your numbers indicate.

On the other hand, like your impact on your team by just doing per game, stats is stupid in the NBA, whereas I think it's pretty accurate when you do season long stuff in the NHL. They both have value, but I like the NHLs more. I like the NHL and NFL's more like that, because that is crazy, because I've, I've been stoned just looking at stats on ESPN, as we all have, and I'll be like, whoa, this guy, you know, Stephen Smith must be awesome in the NBA. look at his numbers and then I scroll down and it's like

oh he played four games in the 2017 to 2018 season like what the fuck is this why is he even in this list they should excise him from this yeah and also like what I the person I like the most and I know people give him guff and whatnot for flopping and everything but I like players with longevity like Yarmir Yager and so I also like LeBron by extension like I know he he's apparently not like one of the best players in the league anymore, but like

how can you even be expected to? He's like 41 or something. Like give him a fucking break. He might do that. I think he's only playing now to ensure his son has a spot on the roster, right? You could say that. I think he's

chasing a title too. He's on a team that has some kind of shot. And I think he loves the game. It's not for money. He's not playing for money. So he probably likes the game. one thing I like I like it how hard players work and he's a hard worker I also like he came him a poor family I'm pretty sure he didn't know his dad he was definitely from a very poor like underprivileged family and then he became rumored a billionaire and he's never been in

trouble and I'm impressed by that good for him I think if you gave 19 year old Woody a billion dollars there'd be some trouble along the way and this guy's just lived pretty good life and hasn't he been married like most of the time he's been in the NBA yeah yeah he's been married I think you're right and you just he's a good guy and then I that's one of things I look for and the players I root for I mean he seems fine to me like those flops are pretty funny and it's like brother like as a hockey fan I watch that and it's like oh yeah Zedano chara played with half a jaw and you stubbed your toe and you're like demanding that these like overweight five foot seven assistants carry you off like your who was the guy in

injuries before like uh you know maybe there's contract disputes or stuff and he just yeah I don't feel well enough to play for the next two weeks until I get a thing I demand um I don't know what's true but mostly for a championship because that would or how many did Michael Jordan get and how many He does LeBron have. He might have four, I think. Okay. Do you think any part of it is like he's trying to catch up, like wanting to, wanting to make it so it's not even an argument that he's the goat? Because I see my friends who are basketball fans are like unsure about him being the goat.

They're like, well, Jordan did this. LeBron did that. Both impressive. LeBron's teammates. He played baseball. Jordan's yeah Jordan was on great teams with like all time great players and people often poor like choose these team awards to say that Jordan was better whereas LeBron was winning championships with people like me playing next to him and you know like you've heard of

Scottie Pippen you've heard of Dennis Rodman tell me LeBron's number two right I couldn't tell you but that's because I don't know any basketball I know who Steph Curry is, but he... Okay, so Zach is mentioning his heel years. It's true, and two of those, he had good teammates. But in Cleveland, like, he beat the Warriors with nobody helping it. And, or, you know, Kyrie Irving. But anyway, he has made it to the championship, I think, 10 times.

And that says... Oh, that actually... How many times is he lost? So he's got a losing record in the championship? I think he was... not the favorite in every one of those and he just like willed his team to win he's the only player to have ever led

the NBA finals in points steals assists blocks and I'm missing something how many did Jordan win versus like how many he went to 100 six out of six yeah so he only made six oh this isn't even close dude like really oh I don't know

I think getting there 10 times, like, I don't think it ruined your legacy to make it. That's more about the least. No, certainly not a ruined legacy. Like, he will go down as one of the best of all time. But if he's won four out of 10 and Jordan won six out of six, it feels like you got to hand that to Jordan, right? Oh. So then like Robert Horace, I guess even better, because he won seven out of seven. I don't know who that is.

Bill Russell won 11 rings. But were those guys? He must be way better than Jordan. Were those guys the driving factors on the team? Or he was not. Russell maybe was. But I mean, we're talking about team awards.

Then I guess you choose the guy who has 11 rings. I'm basically talking blindfolded in the dark because I know. I'm just making argument. Like, I think about people have counters to all this. You can tell me anything right now, and I'll be like interesting because I don't know. Yeah.

I maybe I'm just, I like it when greatness happens during like when you're watching. So I'm going to root against Russell. I never saw him play. I'm going to root against Wilt Chamberlain. He might have been the best player ever. He has one ring.

Not a Pistol Pete fan. I have no bias against LeBron. I'd be happy to accept him as the best of all the same. But I do like, I like greatness. That's why I like Alexander Ovechkin so much, even though. I want the other shoe to fall,

and I want to find out LeBron's an awful human being. I just, I hope we dig it up someday. I hope we find those Bill Clinton like skeletons in the claw. Is it? I just hope. I just hope. I hope. I hope his wife turns out to be a Russian spy or something. I'm looking forward to it. Isn't his wife black? They're crafty over there, Taylor. They send agents over and have them racially transition and then marry into power. I can't imagine a less effective secret agent than a black. What's the Russian? They can't speak the language.

Yeah, that's ridiculous. No, I'd be fine with LeBron being the best, but from what you've said and the stats you've laid forth, seems like Jordan. Actually, what's there? No respect for the mama mentality? Who got more points per game or like rebound? But it almost, I wonder like who got,

well, they're different eras. It's easier to score in the modern era than it was back when Jordan was there. So it might be LeBron. But if LeBron has lower numbers, it's like, well, what would Jordan's numbers be if he played to 41? right he might be in the team and no one was hitting him all the time and it wasn't and and not only were they beaten jordan up from what i've seen and from documentaries and youtube videos not only were they beating him up uh and and and and and fouling him and not getting called and you know

thereby preventing him from hitting a shot or or whatever but that was cumulative over that long ass season of injuries that he would be carrying from just getting he's getting beat up every single night and i i don't know i don't know who's the greatest of basketball i don't really care but but i really like that Jordan documentary. That makes me love him. What I love about all those guys and maybe LeBron a little, I don't see this as much. Maybe it just doesn't make it to the media. You're a LeBron Hater. Is the competitive nature that they have. Like Kobe, they talk about the Kobe and the Kobe stories are all like legendary. When they talk about Kobe showing up like he'd stay up like, he dominated that lady. I'm talking about his work ethic. He was clearly a rapist who got what he

deserved but but the man's work ethic is undeniable taylor all right like we give credit where credit is due and this kind of we're credit is due yeah all right you know like like bill cosby was hilarious and and and he told those guys to pull their pants up because they look he he still he did some other stuff i didn't care for you know i bet if you watch the car i would love to see like a special like cosby unleashed where he goes dirty that would be funny yeah you know what the thing about sleepy pussy is you know what the thing about faggots is i don't like them it's like oh my god on the whole beating up jordan thing i'm waiting for zack to get this picture up but bill lambere was like the biggest bully in the league at the time dude lebron james steals that guy's

fucking lunch money like that guy on the right is not going to bully lebron james LeBron James is going to bully Michael Jordan Like he's a fucking child Like eight feet tall though I don't know He's probably the same height as Lebron Lebron James is almost the perfect Like physical archetype for basketball

Lebron is huge Lebron is like 240 Well it's because LeBron is the The peak of the height you can be Before you get like freak Body where like a Wembenyama When he's rewriting those rules That guy is

It looks like a stick bug running around out there. He looks so good yesterday. Oh, is he good? Yeah, they call him the alien that there's just never been a human like him before. And I'm not a hater. I love the guy. The man, dude, like he got injured last year and Kevin Durant is like, bro, just take your mind off basketball. Go read your science books and put some Legos together.

Come back next year. You can lock in. That sounds like an insult. that's who wemby is wemby is like science books and legos that's my jam he's a lego guy he's a huge lego guy he fucking loves legos

that's so funny to be a lego guy as like a 25 year however old he is like professional athlete to be like oh dude the death star came out he's into science I try not a way similar to like he's really

into like the roots of the universe and how the expansion rate and and like he just finds that stuff super fascinating he's French so he's not like you might imagine like a black NBA player he's a very different personality is he legit interested in that stuff or is oh yeah I've seen all the pictures of uh the memes of LeBron doing photo shoots in locker rooms where he's like on page one of every book did he make that he um I heard him in a in a post game interview they asked him like I forget what that what prompted it

but he explained dark matter and like how we like we can't actually detect dark matter but we can impact we can we've observed dark matter's impact on other things I'm not an expert I'm just doing my best to repeat him and it's like shit this guy's into dark matter for some like he's really like he's doing a press conference explaining dark matter because they prompted him on mr. Waban Yama the question was about your defense tonight yeah so I think he's a really neat guy but I've always doubted him because I couldn't imagine imagine someone like him being like still athletic like in a guard kind of way and durable but every year he puts on more muscle and he just looks so good yesterday then let's see where it goes

they got him on it's got to be real hard to put yeah they probably have them juiced but that's got to be difficult all done do traditional lifts when you're that tall he had to reset his mind so he had some sort of potentially life-threatening like thing less year i think it has to do with this circulatory system but i'm out of it he's like a giraffe right and uh so he just he bent over and his ears exploded he um he went and trained like with tibetan monks or something and just like got his head on straight and i don't know dude he's he had a great game won and let's see where it goes i'm a doubter still i don't think he can be terrible but i root for him because he seems like a good man he doesn't look he's like a good guy but he doesn't

look durable and that is also something that's nice about being a hockey fan over NFL or NBA maybe NFL less so since everyone kind of agrees Brady's the goat but there is no debate in hockey circles about how

who the best person ever is you'll get some shithead being like it was actually Mario Lemieux and it's like shut up stop stop it like it's crazy yeah this guy is how current is that picture nails are my goodness clip them are they long I'm gonna

oh look at his other hand that's so sinister look at that other hand like clod up there that's crazy and they're lying about his height like he came in the league at like seven four and he's like seven six now is he still growing that's bad no one's ever had a good career at his height but he seems to be an exception so far we'll see I probably has still very young, huh? Like 20? I want to say, if he's not 20, he's 21. Yeah, he can still be growing then. A lot of people continue to grow without pituitary.

People that that tall usually have a pituitary thing if they're still growing. I don't think so. Zach said he, Zach's still growing. He's a growing boy. Then he might have, he grew until he was 26. And he might, you know, that is funny.

A little stubby guys like, you don't know what it's like when you've got, when you've got proper genetics. And you, you know, you grow into your mid-20s, Taylor. You don't just rock it up to six feet at 13 years old and then just slam on the brakes. You know, it's called a limousine stop. No, it turns out you do. It turns out you rock it up to six feet by the time you're a sophomore in high school and then you go, man, I can't wait to see what the future holds and then you don't grow anymore. I remember my

stuff when you're in high school. That's when my weight hit three digits. Dude, I think I weighed a hundred pounds in fourth grade. I was a huge kid. I would have befriended you as a guardian. This is my column. I was never, I would have been a terrible guardian. Like I never got in trouble for fighting or starting shit. I got in trouble for being a wise ass in class or like talking.

too much adding commentary where none was accepted by the teacher and that's why I would get in trouble I'd have to like I remember even like in third fourth grade I would say something that I thought would make the whole class laugh

and like the best was when you said something that the teacher also laughed at because it was like oh damn I just fucking hit a dinger but then they would you know at the end of the day they'd send you home with that pink note safety pin to your jacket that your mom had to sign off on. Do you guys remember that?

You say something bad in class and they go, I'm going to write down what you did and I'm going to pin it to your jacket and you have to go home and then give this to your mom and she has to sign it acknowledging what you did and then you have to bring it back the next day. So would you have your mom sign it? Yeah.

All right, because I forged my mom's shit a lot. I had a whole other signature just for her. I was very careful about it. It was important to me that she never, I couldn't do my mom's signature. So I had to forge from the get-go. I needed her to believe that my mom's signature was similar with fifth graders. Yeah, that's like that, I can't remember who told that story. They're like, you know, I had to have my report card signed and my, my dad, I gave it to my dad.

And he was like, no, no, no. See, if you have me sign it, then you'll have to copy my signature on everything going for. or something like that. You, son, and then you won't have to remember. They never pinned any notes on me. There were definitely bad reports heading home, though. And my mom was in the school system, so she would get it firsthand, usually. And then in fourth grade, I had a teacher who genuinely had it out for me. Like, the stuff that I was doing and getting into these major parent teacher conferences, as I look back as an adult, I'm like, that bitch, like, what was her fucking problem?

like she would she was like he needs to be medicated and taken out of regular classes they're like what did he do he flushed a toilet with his foot what are you talking about she hated me she was always fucking with me the most normal thing she really said that about you flushing a toilet with your foot like hitting that bar and another time um i had i would finish my work early and then i'd be sitting there and i had taken i had seen any of either in a movie or so or at school in art class that you could put elmer's glue on your hands and it would harden and then you peel it off, and I did that. And that was a meltdown. We had to call the parents. They had to come to school. It was just her. It was just her. It was Ms. Evans. She had it out for me. Like, fifth grade was great. In the fifth grade, Ms. Harrison, big old titties. Ms. Harrison loved me. Huge shout out. Yeah. She was an X-Files fan. We talk about X-Files on Mondays after it came out. I remember I remember I was like, I was 10 years old. And I was like, did you see the X-Files last night? And she was like, oh my God, the peacocks were awful. The peacocks are the episode that still scares me to this day.

It's that incest murder family who are all, all the brothers are like mutated and they're fucking the mother who's on a like a creeper you used to change oil. She lives on one of those under a bed with no arms and legs. And they just take turns fucking her and creating these babies. And like the beginning of the episode is them disposing of a semi of like a, a baby that's been born and it's so mutated, they have to bury it. And they buried alive in like a muddy baseball field. Then it's discovered and Mulder and Scully get called into the small

town. It's a great episode. It's called Home. That's, that's a horrid. Yeah. And you were talking about that with your fifth grade teacher? Yeah. Yeah. She was great. Love Miss Harrison. She's the one who had the boyfriend I was jealous up or maybe a fiance because I wanted them big old cities and her like 28 year old boyfriend would come in and talk to us about the Civil War because he was a professor at a small college nearby and I was just mean mugging

and like you don't appreciate her like I'm with her I'm with her all day handsome I like felt a rivalry with my fifth grade teacher because she was not down for any of my mischief like

by that point I had had years of being like the only way I knew how to make friends was by being funny and so like trying to make jokes and things in class that she's like and miss fucking danenberg miss danenberg would shoot me down every time and she would tell my mom that I had behavioral issues and that I should be put on fucking riddling and that was the one thing my mom was like Taylor take as much acutane as you please but for some reason when teachers for years were like Taylor should be put on Ritalin. She shut that down. She's like, I'm not putting my son on speed, not doing it. I was like, oh. And that's good because I would be shorter and smaller if she would have put me on

that because I saw my friends. The only reason my buddy Tim, the Marine, was shorter than me, I'm sure, maybe a little bit of genetics, but also because I was feasting upon his lunch every day for years because he would and not not in a bullying way just have to make sure that's known didn't bully him out of his lunch he had no appetite and so he and he would get in trouble if he didn't eat his whole lunch and so I ate two whole lunches for most of grade school I got really skinny when I was on Adderall my girlfriend called me Skeletor in a loving kind of way yeah I got I got real skinny from Adderall I took it from like I think maybe 8th and 9th Wait, was it Adderall?

Or was it, because back then it had to have been Ritalin, right? No, it was Adderall. Phenetamine salts, the good stuff. Just, I love me some Adderall. That's the, that's. I never took anything, but I do remember, like, and when I look back at all the things my teachers were mad at me about, all of them were right. I was never the good guy. I just, I needed, like, Kyle, I'm sorry, Taylor was saying that he was like class clown and he always made these comments.

that he was hoping the class would appreciate. I look back. I was the same way, but I bombed a lot. Why wasn't I discouraged from driving for as often as I bombed in front of those classes, I had stick to it of this. I think my crowd-forced autism diagnosis may be on to something. When I'd bomb, it would always be so horrible. I'd be like, oh, tough crown, huh?

when you hit a banger and the teacher laughed and the whole class laughed that was like the biggest dopamine rush i had ever experienced as a young kid and so i'm i'm positive that's why i kept doing it because it's like you know the risk of bombing is less than the reward of hitting a homer right now if i make this comment about my my big titty teacher risk reward guides so much of what we do. We're pleasure pain. Similar type thing. Sure.

Exercise, diet. It's all pleasure pain decisions we're making. Man. Trade school was so fun other than the school part. They could have really simplified. Because I talked to friends of mine who homeschool their kids and they're like,

we knock this shit out in two hours a day. And then the. rest of the day is then just running wild, go play in the woods, we take them to like an independent basketball or baseball or hockey or soccer league. South Colin got in a parkour. Yeah, and that's something that

has resonated with me, where it's like, wow, maybe it is better for kids to be homeschooled in some circumstances because otherwise they're going to be sitting there basically in like state prison being forced

to learn at the rate of the dumb kid in the class and it's like they have to sit there for eight hours to learn what they could have learned in you know 70 minutes and meanwhile they have no activity outside of that like they're not doing anything physical so i don't i could it's one of those things i wish kyle was here because he would reprimand me but like i could see homeschooling my kids as long as there was a tremendous amount of socialization as well. Like you got to play sports. You cannot back out of sports.

You got to do this activity. You can't back out. If it wasn't sports, it would be some other group activity, right? He could be on the chess team. I bet you'd be fine with that. Yeah.

Anything where you're socializing and you're getting acclimated? Is that how you feel as well? Yeah, yeah, for sure. I don't know that we did a great job. We did our very best. I know that.

But you have to have parents that are into it. Like in the same way that kids can get lazy, parents can get lazy too. I know, not us, but I know someone whose mom would like just fucking throw a workbook at him at the start of every year. And the kid was really smart. So he just smashed that

by like October and basically not work any harder. So the parents have to be into it. And like the socialization. It's a big deal. You can get that wrong. The sports feel like a huge deal. Because sports, even more

so than chess or anything else because chess is one v one like sports you're learning to work as a team like you have to be conscientious of the thoughts and desires of the other person on the team in addition to your own and that's something a lot of joy in it which kids have I did a lot of work and so I got my first job at 13 and almost work solid through like I know the exception of swim season or something, but I always had jobs after school every summer, stuff like that. And it sucked. And it was depressing. And I was bullied by coworkers. And I look back and I'm like, no wonder you fucking wanted to die. But if I was on a swim team or something, I don't think that'd be the same vibe at all. Definitely. Yeah. I'm pretty happy with who I am as an adult. So maybe they were on to

something. I don't know. But I almost was never an adult. So maybe there were some room for improvement there too. I don't, I think we didn't encourage our kids to work outside the summer. And I think we made the right call. That's what I would do again. Yeah. That's how my parents were with me is that the only time, I mean, getting into high school, obviously you can't demand this of a middle schooler.

But like after I was able to drive, my dad in particular was very insistent. Like you have to be doing something to make money. You have to have a job over the summer. And it just so happened to work out that. that I knew the head of that goalie school. And so I could go and just do that for eight weeks every summer and teach little kids to be to be goalies, which was a fun job. Because I was young enough at the time, like being 16, where like it was a cool. And Woody will know this because he knows hockey.

It was a cool thing because as a goalie coach, you have your lower body dressed fully. So you can demonstrate things. but you only have a windbreaker from the school that like says your name and stuff on the top so you just have like your your glove your blocker uh your stick and then lower body dressed out and i always felt so cool skating around being like yeah i'm like i'm like instructing now i'm like a grown up wasn't a grown up at all but like thought i was and that was that was fun kyle do you think you could have taught baseball i don't even know if teaching baseball i don't even know if teaching baseball is like a summer job

the way teaching hockey is. Huh. Yeah, Little League, for sure. Little League's simple. Like, at higher levels, there's some complicated stuff when you're covering bases and cutting stuff off and dealing with

infield fly rules and more minutia. But Little League, yeah, of course. Like, just the fundamentals are, of getting in front of a grounder and like catching a pop fly and hitting a ball and throwing a ball. I know all that stuff. Like for little leaguers or at least one of the things I was really good at was just not being afraid of ground balls. It seemed like everybody was terrified that it was going to hurt them and they would skip and they would hit you sometimes. But my dad, I remember, would just hit them at me for hours at a time. What seemed like harder than in the games

He was hitting them harder than they, so when I would get to a game and someone would hit a hard one at me, I'd be like, Dad hits him way harder than this, you know? Like, and the same with like batting cage. Like we'd be in that batting cage for, I don't know, every day, at least an hour or something like that with me hitting balls and then turn around and do another hour of me fucking pitching or going through pitching drills or just one thing or another. There's a lot of that. But literally, yeah, I just wouldn't want to. Was your dad hitting the grounders at you, like out of frustration, do you think? No, no, he's teaching me, you know, like a big part, at that level, like I said, a lot of kids are scared, and I was at first, too. But so what you need to happen in that scenario is you need to get hit.

You need to get hit a lot until you don't care anymore, and you realize that you're not going to die. You're not going to be seriously wounded. If anything, you're going to sacrifice your body a little. Save a, save a multi-base hit and, like, be the hero. for your team. Worst case scenario, it pops up in it and you eat it. It literally hits you in the mouth, which that never happened to me. Yeah, it'll fuck.

You knock out, right? It could. Yeah. You give you a bad bloody nose. I was that kid standing next to the pitching machine when I was like five, not paying even a lick of attention. And some kid hit a line drive just right into my nose and it exploded with blood. And then this girl that had a crush on me shot out. she like ran on the field and was like are you okay and I was like it was like one of the first times in

my life that I felt like true humiliation where I was like I'm so bloody because I'm inept and I couldn't catch this and now some girl is like worried about me and she's not going to have a crush on me after I didn't have a crush on her so it wasn't a big deal but it was like oh I was probably probably eight realistically when that happened that sucked I remember my dad when I was probably 10, 11 or so, after, yeah, I think I started playing goalie around 9-ish. And so I'd been a goalie for a bit on a couple teams. And the unfinished area of our basement, we always kept a hockey net and then a bunch of those like orange pucks that if you know hockey, you know, like they're the street hockey style pox. You can't shoot a normal style rubber puck on anything but ice because it doesn't slide.

and if I performed and he would shoot on me all the time in the basement and the times that he was like Taylor I'm going to shoot on you after I had lost a game I could tell there was more mustard on those shots and I always assumed it's because he was like

mad at me where like he was rifling these things at me and I'd be like a little bit scared but it may be a better goal so he's shooting slap shots at you wristers like what do we got here some slap shot not even a slap shot as much as like a bring it up to waste level like a snap like not a huge draw slap shot but mostly wrist shots okay but occasionally he would do the sloppers because that was also at the age I guess where I think 11 is when you're allowed to start hitting and start taking slap shots because up to that point you're not allowed to in youth hockey I didn't know slap shots were outlawed Yeah, yeah, or at least in the league I played in.

They wouldn't allow slap shots, which was funny because it's like it's so much easier to get speed on a wrist shot than a slap shot that by outlawing slap shots, they just made it so it was harder for me as the goalie. Because like an 11 year old trying to take a slapper, he's going to beef it. He's going to send it to the side. It's not going to be quick. It's not going to be fast. It's not going to be some frozen rope disc that you have to grab. There's something about slap shots. the goalies just read.

Like you can hit a slap shot 100 miles an hour into the corner and they'll catch it. But a wrister at 68 miles an hour is a better shot of getting behind him. Way harder to read a wrist shot because they can make changes up to the point of release about the angle. If you see a slap shot coming, you can kind of, and as a goalie, I would look, I would see the, I would look at the angle of their stick before they hit it. So I could have an idea of like, this guy's open face, this is going to go left or it's going to go high left and I'll have to save it. or this is closed this is going to go right straight or this is probably going to go low even an unexceptional player like me is trying to mask where I really want it on a wrister

but my slap shot everything about it tells you what my goal is I just hope but it's too fast and taking a slap shot seems like a lot of fun like he's like I'm just open it up motherfucker yeah man I I love thank God you did a few years of hockey because otherwise it would be me just talking to Kyle and he would be like I don't get it he'd be muted so you were on the ice

ice what's that like don't the boots hurt your ankles I don't get it that was always the most mind-blowing thing to me where Kyle you've been like yeah I can't skate because my ankles hurt too much and it's like that's

it's like saying I can't eat spicy food because I keep missing and all of it gets in my eyes like you know that's fucking absurd like you could absolutely have have skated

and skied Kyle you could have been a ski boy his ankles apparently are not the same shape as everyone else's they're not they're not

extremely extremely do you have bird ankles do you got narrow ankles I mean maybe you know I'm not trying to I don't need to convince anybody I'm just telling you it hurts

I love to ski you know there's no conspiracy that I don't want to ski I weren't on a ski trip I must have I must have spent $2,000 on ski gear and the trip alone like I got there I went up and down a few times and I was like it hurts so much is it supposed to hurt this much like is everyone else an excruciating family you were you were bowed out weak ankle style you were just sitting just sitting in the boots was painful like like just sitting in a chair with the boots on was painful. Like, I'm telling you, the boot itself is pressing into my ankle bone, the inside of my ankle

so hard. It felt like my- He took the foam out of the middle of the ski boot. You don't do that? It felt like Joe Pesci had put my ankle in a vice and was trying to get information out of it. All right? It hurt.

You just got poorly fitted for ski boots then. Sure. I bet if I went on another trip and did all that over again, It wouldn't hurt a bit. I'm telling you. My ankles are different. I do feel like we could be like, all right, all right. I see.

The middle binding is too tight. Let's just loosen that one up and you can have it tight around your calf and the arch of your foot. Yeah. And that's what it should be. Tied on the calf, tight on the arch of the foot. You shouldn't be feeling. I'll speak to my toboggin, thank you. Next time it snows here in Georgia, I'll be going up and down the hills.

Do you, like, going up and going down a mountain and it's a bog and you're not a skier or a snowboarder so you don't realize this is so much scarier than going down a mountain in skis or a snowboard because you're out of control more fun whenever I see those videos of people like it's like going down the hill and they end

inevitably they hit somebody and send the person like cartwheeling like and they end up scorpion in the snow I'm like that's what I want to do I want to rage ass down a mountain Kyle's looking at activities the 12 year olds think is fun and then he might enjoy it 40 Okay You go to the ER

Well you know I fall well Woody I fall at least once a month Tramatically I went I went down my stairs last month That's so embarrassing Why would you say that?

You fall that hard that regularly I'll tell you what I do I try to like Mr. Magoon around your own fucking house It's not that It's like I take it to the edge I push things to the limit Taylor So when I go down my carpeted stairs

I try to literally surf down them in my socked feet. Like, I try to, like, hit them at an angle so that my feet have to go and, like, slide down them. But I'm not, I want to be like legolus in that scene in Lord of the Rings where he rides that Rook-Ey shield down, and he's popping arrows

off as he goes. I'm literally picturing that in my head going down my stairs. Sometimes I even try to do the arrow motion, but what I do instead, Taylor, is I fall. I fall so far and hard down onto the hardwood below that it takes me a minute to like understand

if I'm still going to like be able to get back up or not all the fucking all the dogs look worried they don't even check on me it's embarrassing like like I see videos on TikTok Taylor are there mountain it's too flat by me our hills aren't big enough to ride a toboggin

I want a mountain to be a mountain we'd have to go to a small mountain in like Minnesota or no small mountain I want a real deal Mountain in Utah. I want to be anywhere else there. I want to be warned multiple times

as we go. I want to stop at a gas station on the way of the mountain. Then, hey, welcome to Colorado. What are you folks up to? And like, we're going to toboggin down man killer pass. And they're like, oh, Lord, no.

You know it's forbidden to even go up in those hills. What would the Indian burial ground and the oil spiel and all? And it's like, yeah, we know. We're going anyway. That's crazy. We thought it's good for our first time. You know me.

I'm speaking the way people from Colorado do. That's how they speak in Colorado. I've been more than you. I promise you. In the foothills of Colorado. In the prairies of Colorado, you know, down in the southwestern quadrant. Big shout out to Colorado, though, for being the fittest, least fat state every year. And the white.

Every single year, they're running the gauntlet. They're the least fat state. good for them. I wonder why. Utah's not the whitest? I would have thought it'd be Utah. No, Utah is definitely the widest. It would be Utah or West Virginia would be my two guesses.

Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire. Oh, fuck. I'm retarded. Of course it's Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut. Then West Virginia, Wyoming. Wyoming, there's like... Now, in the other... The blackest state is only half a million people.

The black estate... would be hold on um it has to be mississippi unless we're getting snuck by louisiana it is mississippi the blackest state in america you wouldn't know it what is the okay i was going to say asianist but that's such a small group it would have to be california washington i think it's washington like like percentage of state population california has such a big population it would take a lot of asians to sway it but i Oh, that's why... I'm going to Hawaii.

It's California. Okay, well, it depends how you define eight. Because otherwise, you're 100% on the mark. It would have to be Hawaii. But that's only if you count Peloponnesian people as age. Did you do per capita? Kyle? No, I did not.

No, I did like number... Actually, highest percentage... I actually, I've got... Highest percentage is Hawaii with 56% of his population. Largest total population is California with 7 million Asian residents and other states would... large populations include Washington, which was my guess,

because of Pacific... Anywhere near Asia? And the percentage because it's a smaller, less populated state at Oregon's kind of redneck bill. Okay, okay. New Jersey, New York. Does New Jersey have the most Jewish people? Ooh, I'm going to guess...

I don't think New York is going to be easy, but they've such a big population... Oh, and I mean per capita, by them. You got to do per capita. Ooh, per capita, Woody, I think you're on the money. Like, it would have to be New Jersey. Actually, New Jersey has a big population, too. I don't think New York's giving it up for nothing.

thing, but... Okay, so New York's got 8.8% Jews. New Jersey, 6.7% Jews. Okay. No, that can't be right. There's way more Jews in New York than that. 8.8%? It's...

8.8% of 10 million people, yeah. That's like... Isn't that like... I thought New York was like the Jewish mecca of the... Well, see, there aren't as many Jews as you might think. They had this weird thing about 70 years ago where a lot of them went missing. Hmm. And you know what's funny, Kyle?

Ever since then they've been a little prickly. I saw on Twitter within the last week some far right account posting your monologue of the conspiracy we did. We don't even have to, we don't have to go into the conspiracy because that'll get us pulled off again. But it was very funny to see you laying all that out in some like guy with the username like Gerbils fan 660. being like this is listen to this and I'm like oh this is cool I can hear myself in the background

satire is a note not everyone can hear but many of the facts that I pulled for my for my silly joke video were from like propaganda neo-Nazi websites although all the numbers

that I don't remember fabricating any numbers I think I jokingly exaggerated a few things. But a lot of that is on point, like the mathematics of it, not exactly adding up to the proposed numbers, the historically proposed numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, trend lately. I don't want to get off NBA too quick. Let me read you quickly this article about the NBA. Portland Trailbook. 30 minutes ago. I know. And you drug me away from NBA, my favorite topic, into Hockeyland, which I'd rather sound myself with a knitting needle.

Portland Trailblazers coach Chauncey Billis. That would be an easy thing to sound yourself with. Have you ever seen one? My girlfriend's learning the knit right now. Those things are fat, all right? That thing ain't going in there. Oh, the crochet needles. Okay.

Yeah, that's what I'm actually thinking of. Yeah, I always get this mixed up. Anyway, Portland Trailblazers coach, Chauncey Billups, Miami Heat Guard, Terry Rosier, and former Cleveland Cavaliers player and assistant coach, Damon Jones, had been arrested as part of a pair of wide, ranging investigations related to illegal sports betting and rigged poker games backed by the mafia authorities announced on Thursday.

Billips and Rosier have been placed on leave from their teams. The NBA said in a statement, a total of 34 people have been arrested as a result of years-long investigation covering 11 states and involving tens of millions of dollars, FBI director Cash Patel or Houdini or what middy call him, Houdini Hoover. No, no, no, I called him Hindu Hoover. That's what it was. I was trying to make sense of Houdini Hoover. Cash Patel said that law enforcement officials said the multiple charges involved

four mafia families, organized crime networks, and Patel's saying of the money involved that the fraud is mind-boggling. So huge, like, gambling, betting. I think it's tens of millions. And he's like, it's not thousands. It's not tens of thousands. it's not hundreds of thousands it's not i see where this is going it's not it's tens of millions and i'm like all right drama mama like dozens of millions dozens of millions is a very confusing phrasing

i like it but uh dude i'm so glad they're caught i hope it cleans up sports betting is ruining sports and i know how many people love it but my gosh you know the players are involved the coaches are involved it dominates sports like for a stats and stories guy oh my gosh like there's so much betting information that i like to follow wins and losses and teams and players and not so much like over and unders and other shit sure like crowds like the universe i'm looking for uh sports betting ruins this shit and NBA is not exempt from it I wouldn't be shocked if it happened in other sports too but it definitely is happening in the NBA this is the first time and they caught him again.

Gilbert Arenas, he got caught for running some illegal gambling operation. I don't want to get it wrong, but it was like spearheaded by someone else. I want to say it's Jewish people, but I'm afraid that that's like anti-Semitic, but I think it was Israel or something. It's Jewish. It's not anti-Semitic to say. No, you're right. I hope I have it right.

So, who was former NBA star suspected in Israeli crime figure arrested on federal indictment alleging high stakes illegal poker games at the Encino Mansion. Unless this was one of those non-Jewish Israelis that I was right. So many. Countless. I guess he's like in this one too and he's like, I am not going back to prison. I am singing like a canary. Whatever they want to know, I am telling on everyone. And I'm like, oh shit, you might get some results. So I haven't seen, and maybe I, maybe I didn't catch it even though I was the one who

just read the article. But it seems like they're talking about illegal poker games, not NBA point shaving. Was this all, so this is all really fresh. I'm not up to speed, maybe. It's all poker games, it's not point shaving? Are you sure? Well, that's what I just read. And that's what Gilbert Arenas' thing is here too.

You know, the previous thing that goes back, I don't know when, but to some point. But this new thing with the Chauncey Billups and Terry Rosier, I'm just reading poker. I'm reading illegal sports betting and rigged poker games. Okay, so yeah, that's, so they were having a private poker game. It, and that's it. NBA players have taken themselves out of the game to win under prop bets. And the people with knowledge of leaked information that made player availability before it was public. Yeah, so what they do is they go out there, they'd score four points, the over under on them was eight, then they'd be like, coach, migraine, can't play anymore.

They get the under, and people would win money on that. And that sucks. And I hope they go to prison. That seems easy to do. Oh, it seems really easy to do as a player. But it's kind of easy to catch, right? You know, you have some guy who's like the ninth best person on their team. That's the kind of guy that you can bribe.

LeBron James is a billionaire, right? How much do you have to fucking pay him to do the under this week? That guy's building the family. that's how you apply pressure he doesn't care okay good point you find his wife but you know the massade agent leans that russian wife of his malick beasley right people don't even know his name that's a guy you can get to do the under to underperform one game pretend his pinky hurts or something like that and uh and then what they catch is like holy shit this player that no one pays attention to who routinely has like nine thousand dollars a night bet on him

suddenly there's $9 million on the under and they're all hitting and that's how they get FBI attention. It feels like gambling has exploded in the past few years. Like even watching hockey which is a very hard sport to bet on

I would imagine. I know so little about gambling. I've never bet on a sport or made an account or anything. Prop bets are easy. But it is it's fucking tiring. As someone who doesn't gamble and likes watching hockey and sports,

like it's annoying how often draft kings is dominating the entire playlist or a what's the other fan duel it's like every single ad is fan duel or draft kings all of them the same way and we're seeing this happen the same way uh if you paid attention to mainstream media like news between 1980 and current day it went from uh diversity of advertisements all and matriculated down and now it's just pharma stuff and so those networks are beholden to pharma and so now all these sports networks are fully beholden

to Fandual Draft Kings these gambling agencies they can't serve they literally can't survive without those gambling dollars. Well the sport sports center ESPN the the entire broadcast team like it's all they talk about is you know

like and I don't give a fuck I want to hear about like a neat story about like this player came from Czechoslovakia and did this and that and this. Well, people play fancily. I want a little bit of that commentary. I don't care about, oh, it looks like they're going to hit the over on this one. I don't, that

that shit's gay. I don't care. They used to make like little like snide remarks, but not actually touch on it. Like someone would miss an extra point or they would fumble on the one yard line and they'd be like, but there's a lot of people unhappy about that one.

Ned, yep, you guarantee it. Guarantee it, Bill, because they were about to like cover the spread or something if they just scored that extra extra point or whatever. Does it impact coaches? Right. Like let's say there's a football game and you're about to win by 11. But you go for two after after the touchdown to make it 12. Like do coaches do that sometimes. I think they do that. I've heard it in college. I'm not sure. But I'm like either way they secured the win and now they're securing the people who bet on them. I think you're right. I heard I think this was last weekend in college football that like Indiana or something.

was supposed to win by 25 and a half or something and the other team like march down the field down by 25 or down by 26 or 27 or something and then they kicked a field goal like there's no purpose to that field goal like getting those three points there's no purpose to that you you're you're still going to lose but they ruined the spread and I saw a lot of people upset about that and so I have no idea. I could see that, though. Like, you'd have to be a fool to think that these people aren't also aware of what's happening surrounding the game. Yeah.

I don't, you're not going to get betting out of the game. Is it, I thought legalizing it would just make it cleaner, you know? How many people back in the 90s, they'd hand out these, like, pieces of paper in my college class, parlays or whatever, that you could bet on. But then not everyone was able to collect when they won. you'd buy it for like $10 you do your parlay and then it's like oh i fucking hit 120 i didn't do it but other people told me about it and uh and then they would never get their 120 they were just fucking scam artists now you go to draft kings i assume they hope they keep their word yeah so but man it's so like normalized and popular and like maybe it's bad

for society to bet this often yeah i mean usually Usually you see, I mean, what happens in the decline of a society, Kyle? Things like prostitution and gambling run rampant. And that's kind of what we see a little bit right now, is that the economy is structured as such that people are forced to rely on these externalities in order to make ends meet. The oldest human person? Having a bunch of women.

No, I think, no, it's not a new occurrence, but it is a cyclical occurrence like towards the end I disagree do you think that Rome only introduced prostitution in the last 150 years or did they have prostitution their entire existence?

Not their entire existence of course they did of course there were prosecutors throughout from the beginning to the end of Rome they call it the oldest profession for a reason I thought the kingdom didn't have it but I can be wrong to prostitution when given the right reward system. It's just something that

But is that good? Is that good? I don't think it's bad. I think it's human nature. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think I think prostitution should be 100% legal, just like it is outside of the city limits in Nevada or whatever. Then you get regulation, you get the pimps out, you get organized crime out, you get drugs, manipulation, rape out of the game. You get underaged

workers out of the game. You get STDs out of it. You just bring it into the light and make it a thing. You end up having these, you stop having these marginalized people who only have that choice and they have to fall into other illegal things that surround an inherently illegal business, which is prostitution currently. You could separate a legal business of prostitution from all the drugs and all the other stuff that the current...

Can you really? Yeah, you legalize it, just like in Germany and plenty of countries throughout the world. Amsterdam, like lots of places throughout the world. Australia. These are first world economies and cultured places that have legalized prostitution where they regulate and they keep people safe. Is it widely available though?

If you told me America had legalized prostitution, you'd be telling the truth, but in reality it's what? Escort services. Right now, you get only. Only fans girls. You can have, well, no, there's escort services in your area right now. You can call and have a girl come to your house

right now. Where are these services? Google. I'm aware there's older women who want to bang, but I have to have sex with them. I see the ad. See, and that's the problem is I have to be willing to fuck old ugly women. No, but Kyle, that I think the thing you're talking about isn't legal. I'm talking about legal prostitution, which exists in Nevada and nowhere else, I think. I think so, too.

So when we say it's legal in Australia and Germany, are they comparable? No, it's legal there. No, there are brothels. throughout the land there. Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to know. Not in one small little area.

There are huge brothels where each floor is a different like fetish and a different thing you're looking for. Yes. Like these are clean places where people are getting tested and using protection and it's common. I got to be like this sucks. I want to be called daddy and I like feet. Is there not a floor where we can combine? Oh, six and a half it is. they have the feet girls dangle from above

genius I don't know so Kyle said prostitution is the oldest profession we've all heard that before the contrarian asshole in me is like there's got to be an older one so I mean there's obviously older ones hunter gatherer

those are professionals on my mind those are professions okay they didn't hunt and gather and then sell those goods for currency or trade those goods, they were subsistence. Hunters, the first hunters were subsistence hunters.

The first hunters were subsistence hunters. They were not gathering up their deer and looking around for another team. Now you're adding a qualifying layer, though. Subsistence hunters. They were eating what they were. There were many hunters who were not a profession. That's not a profession.

No, there weren't. The first hunters, though. Let's not, Kyle's definition. If it's a profession, you sell your either a, a product or a service. Yes. It can't be a profession

where you just go out and gather berries for yourself. So there has to be an aspect of commerce in it. Okay, better. Yeah, well stated. All right. Of give of exchange.

There's an aspect of the change. And that might be true of the foragers. You know, like I can imagine. Not the first ones though. Hear me out. You have women gathering like nuts and fruits and stuff like that. Men gathering meats and then they're bartering.

Yeah. Oh. Why would a man barter with a woman? Why wouldn't he say, you bring me all the berries you can find, or I'm going to rape your daughter tonight? That's what a eight man says. Because he's part of a community. That's like a, that's retarded. See, now we've moved into civilization if we've got.

No, no, no, no. There were many communities that existed prior to. No, no. You don't think there were communities amongst prehistoric people? They only survived because of communities. Monkeys and cages are horrible. resort to prostitution when given the right system. I'm talking about the first profession,

the first time a good or service was exchanged for a food or another good or service, essentially, and that would have been prostitution. Because she was born with what she sells. He has to go get it, all right? How could he ever beat her to the punch? How about this, Kyle? When she is the good and service.

How about this, Jack? He has to do a thing. He needs an extra step to get to goods and services. He is the good in service. Kyle, what did the first John trade for his prostitution? You think protection? You think a community created like an existing community. One man grabbed one woman.

I protect you. Out of where? Out of the wilderness. Probably from his own family circle, from the, from the, from the, from the, from the a cave system they were living in. So, in Kyle's argument, protection and prostitution,

first profession, it's a tie. So you don't think there was a possibility that a John was trading meat, furs, berries, what have you? Why would he? Because he doesn't need to do business with a weak woman. Yes, he does because humans have always existed in communities. Always.

We do not, we do not survive. outside of communities we don't you're talking about the first we're not talking about mesopotamia we're not talking about no we're talking about way pre mesopotamia yeah we're talking about a hundred thousand years ago when the first cavewoman sold her hairy pussy for some nuts no but like the idea that it was a random caveman wandering around finding a woman is like a fucking netflix fantasy like that's not how shit worked like you were in a community and you would exist within that community you'd have been in a family great group of maybe a dozen individuals, you know what I mean? Like, like it was, if we're talking about

the first people, the first hundred thousand people, those guys, those guys throwing spears and living in fear who hadn't figured out fire yet? You think they traded threats? I don't think that at that point if you, that that that's what it is. I don't, I don't know what you mean by trying to sounds like she's being raped in this situation. That's what it would be. Yes. And I don't think that's a profession yet. Yeah. I will leap you if you don't do this for me is transactional in its nature, but it's also not commerce. They would be trading real things.

And we know this because we can look at it throughout all of history. And what do they trade for rights to a woman? They trade goods. They trade services. Now you go to the medieval times and stuff when we're buying. No, no, it's actually still very ancient. I think you're being ridiculous on this. Clearly, prostitution is the first profession.

Really? So it's in good faith. It's not super clear to me. It's one of the starters, right? I'm with you, right? And I didn't find a lot of value in the she was born with it, like, argument. Like, I don't think that means that it was first. It's incredibly strong.

But one of the early ones I came to was like, Blacksmith. Okay, Blacksmith, way too late. Stone Smith, Woodsmith, like someone who sharpened spears and hands them out. There wasn't division of labor. Yes, there was. That's essential. That is one of the first, that is a step into civilization when you have division of labor. For division of labor, you have to have a surplus of goods.

That doesn't have to be early in. The first step of civilization is amalgamation around a court. There is division of labor amongst lions, right? And people transform from monkey to people assuming that happened. That's inclusive. People transform from monkeys to humans. Probably, you know, we were still monkeys when we were dividing labor. Some were hunters, some were collectors, et cetera.

So I don't think that's a late No, Woody is I'm talking about specialization. I'm talking about where you have fishermen and you have weavers and you have people who harvest and harvest grain. That's civilization. That doesn't happen until much later on.

What was the first segmentation of labor? Well, the first segmentation of labor is that the first segmentation of labor is that the men are the protectors and the hunters and the warriors and the women are the nurturers and the berry gatherers. And that creates a natural currency.

Furs, meat, food, things that can be traded. So what your wife in this caveman society is going to do business with me for the berries she sold? And I, a different man who lives on the other end of the cave, is going to transact with her outside you? How about this? We can change that. And let's assume that the head of the household, the man, was the one transacting. I would be transacting with you for the berries she collected. there would be no, we would be living hand to mouth.

We would just be sharing whatever we'd found that day. We'd be hungry most of the time. I don't know. I can totally imagine this scenario where your family has meat. My family has a surplus of walnuts, and we want to equalize those two. Everything we're going to, we're talking about the very beginning. Everything is just going on the floor in a pile and we're all. Why?

What makes you say that? Anthropological evidence. No, he's trying to guide you in the same as a civilization. There's anthropological evidence that they threw everything they collected into a big pot and they all pulled from it what they needed. They can see how they butcher things and ate things and prepared things. They can look at the feces of every member of the group and see that they were all eating the same thing. Interesting, but how does that tell us how transactional occurrences happen? It's human nature that what I'm saying.

Human nature is trading your goods for another's. You don't have any goods. You don't have any. You have berries and meat and furs. No, but there's no mercantile fucking society. Why not? All it takes for a mercantile society is two people to trade. Because you don't know to weave yet.

You don't have to weave yet. Okay. So I'll agree on weave, but hold on. Now it's a technological in. Monkeys make spears and sticks, right? Monkeys will put a stick into an ant hill and come out with ants, right? They make tools. Okay.

Kind of, yeah. So from that, I suggest that humans were building tools. as they were barely even humans, right? More advanced than current monkeys. So here we have like some sort of skilled labor as people are barely even humans. We're selling pussy even before that though. Oh.

So I was drawing the starting line at being human, but you're drawing the starting line at sort of being alive. I think, and in that regard, we could look at like, well, I mean, there was like four other human, There were four or five other intelligent hominence. Is safety probably an earlier trade where you trade your goods for the safety from the larger time? I think that's just natural biology that the male or that the group protects itself.

Like I don't think elephants are engaging in trade when they encircle the newborn child to protect it. Do you? Do you think that there's a transactional thing going that the elephant's mother now owes the rest of the herd something because they encircled the child? No, they're just acting naturally. to protect their own. There's no transaction. But you've also seen the videos of the elephants that are a member of that, I don't remember what the group of elephants is called, but they bring back food and treats and maybe just heard.

Yeah, they bring back stuff for the baby. Kyle, I would argue that when elephants protect the baby, it's commerce. And my thing is they're making deposits in the emotional bank account. They are expecting these elephants to protect their, baby down the road. Yes. Dude, what do you fucking swish?

Like, that's, yeah. That is right. Because what is commerce, if not a transactional event in which you ensure future security? Well, when you refuse to see a reason, you get here.

I don't think so. I think I argued a good faith the whole time. Woody is making good faith arguments, and I made like 80% good faith arguments. And a couple, ones that I thought would be funny. I think the definition of profession matters and I think because hunting. The starting line matters too. Now we're in soft. Because hunting is an

activity. I suppose you could see it as a profession. I don't know the definition of profession. I defined a profession. It's something you do in exchange for currency. But maybe profession is just the thing that you do, your your job. So by that nature, maybe your profession could be hunting, gathering, weaving, knapping stones to make tools, whatever. I could see those as the first professions. I'm sure that the old guy

who like has arthritis at 30 is the stone napper who sits in the back of the cave and makes the best spirit. And when you come back with that kill, you're like definitely going to give old Ned a chunk of the good meat because he got you that best spirit that went all the way

through the deer or whatever. But that includes specialization. And you said this pre-existed specialization. Well, I think that, that, like, skills like toolmaking were specialization. It would be something that was handed down from, but there would, like everything in life, there'd be a guy who was good at it. Like, if there were two guys in your cave making spearheads and one of them was markedly better than the other, you'd want to keep him on your side.

I could see you sliding him some extra, like, hey, man, I was out. Some extra what? I found this shiny rock. You know, this is the good obsidian. This is actually quartz, you know. Oh, I found some flint the other day. I bet, you know, I know we're supposed to share the flint. Everybody's supposed to, you see, how about you take both pieces of flint?

Because I know you're going to make the good stuff. And you just give them to me on the down low. I'm processing this in my mind. If like me, you draw the starting line at when monkeys became humans, then there's probably like a 12-way tie for oldest profession. Yeah, and it's a blurry line. Okay. But by the time people became people, shocks, we were sharpening stones, sharpening sticks.

That's for sure. We were probably selling our body for sex. We were selling protection. We were, you know, making emotional bank account deposits and bartering. And all of that happened at the stage, we were still like mostly monkey. A hundred percent. Like if you throw the line at monkeys to humans, then there are dozens of different ways that commerce was transacted. So like Taylor, I'm super, I'm super fascinated and intrigued by the premise of an ancient advanced civilization that go Beckley-Teppy place really fascinates me.

But even more interesting to me is the lost history of the extinct hominid side species, the other intelligent people that lived alongside us. Like the Neanderthals is the most famous one. But there were five or six of these walking, talking, upright people, animal things that had clothes and art and music and they hunted and they painted and they worked together in little groups. And there were hobbit people, I think, in Indonesia they found that were like three fucking feet tall running around. Like hobbits used to be like homo erected. Wasn't homo erectus like retarded? I don't know the whole lineage of homeo erectus, homo habilis, and like down the line. And I don't know which is the beginning.

I think homo habilis came before homorectus, right? And the other thing, the reason I refuse to devote any of this to memory is because every year they find a new thumb bone or a new molar somewhere that rewrites human history to some extent. Recently they've been rewriting the idea of the African origin and the diaspora into to Europe and the timeline of that and how that actually went down. So because that's evolving so quickly,

I don't even like devote it to memory because I think it's going to be like when I kid, when I was a kid and I memorized all the dinosaur names. And then they started saying those dinosaurs didn't exist like in the late 90s. And they started saying a bunch of horse shit like they don't have scales.

Dude, when I had to memorize the periodic table of elements and then I saw it again as an adult and I'm like, who are these fucking new guys? yeah yeah like you can see on those

color coded uh charts where it's like the ones created by man and like the whole bottom row is like Einsteinium yeah

scary idiom it's the periodic table is complete now we have all the all the elements are known it's no yeah we'll find a fun one

no no they're all known can they make more hear me out I don't understand but like Like, it's defined by how many atomic electrons and protons are in them, right? So couldn't they add more? They've already done that.

Well, hear me out. More. Hear me out more because some guy in like 1930 was like, the deal's done. We got it. Like that it's no, it's complete. Is it? Okay. Well, I need to talk to chat GPT.

I've done, I've started becoming Professor Kyle in this regard where I have kind like, all right, explain to me this Adam ion thing, because I don't get just missing an electron yet still being the same. Yeah, I thought about. Explain magnetism one more time, chat, GPT, but like I'm three

this time. Four didn't stick. Why do things stick together? There's some loose electrons. I think there's some extra electrons. They're all flowing the same way. Is that right? Making a magnetic feel. But explain it again, one more time.

So I'm going to have to do a session with chat GBT. No, ask it right now. I promise you, theory the tape is complete. How could it be, how can we know it's complete? Because of the nature of how elements. Why could there not be a higher number or a difference of structure? Because we know from string theory and all those physics things that like they don't really understand the nature of how things interact with others, especially in regard to gravity. like why couldn't there be additional well that's quantum mechanics the that's that's a whole

different thing that's that's french and we're talking about baseball isn't that about how isn't quantum mechanics about how gravity interacts with things no quantum mechanics is about things on the smallest scale the the subatomic scale and how their interactions vary from those at at the newtonian scale the things that we see around us so it's like throwing a wrench into our understanding of physics and being like you don't know shit it's it's it's it's it's It's the other side of physics, and the problem is the two don't exactly match up with any of the existing mechanical theories, and that's why you have something like string theory that I don't understand, first of all, but second of all, it seems like it hasn't been

figured out by the people who do plan to understand. The thing about string theory is you have to be willing to accept a tremendous amount of... I imagine a big goal of Yom. ...of uncertainty. Chad GBT says Kyle's wrong, which usually is possible. Wow. Right.

Yeah. I usually come out. Huge gel. I used to say Kyle's actually right, and I never meant it as an insult. I meant it as like, I was wrong, but actually. Anyway, in this case, there are 92 elements that are natural and they're stable and they're long lived. Then from 93 to 118 are these short-lived synthetic made-in-a-lab elements, and that's as far as we've gone so far. elements 19 through 126 are predicted they're not yet made but scientists think that they'll exist

in what they call the island of stability so 19 through elements 19 through 126 currently unnamed might be stable but we haven't been able to create that yet that's the next frontier and then 130 and higher they see that as extremely unstable and you know if it exists it'll just be fleeting microseconds and then they break to something else. Yeah, I'm seeing the same. The periodic table is considered complete for all naturally occurring and synthesized elements up to atomic number 118 with the seventh row now filled. However, it is not complete in the sense that scientists can and are trying to create new

elements beyond 118. They're extremely unstable. This is the second time I've been wrong ever. And both times it was Neil de Grassy Tyson who lied to me. The basketball one. The basketball one was him being wrong. And this is literally like straight from his mouth that it's complete. And why didn't he add that addendum that, of course, we could synthesize.

Because even as Taylor was saying, and I was like, you know, I don't know why we can't synthesize more. I know that we synthesize those elements that are like flashing a pan and then they evaporate or whatever. Like, why can't we go higher? It's because Neil deGrasse Tyson didn't tell me. It's really interesting to me that they theorize that the next, I forget the number of it, you know, 10 of them or so could be stable.

that it's this island of stability where they could exist and not go away. Interesting. Material science is the most interesting science to me. That's the shit that actually matters. Because if you actually want to do that sci-fi stuff that like Star Wars, Star Trek, futuristic, like stuff going really fast and doing weird things

that we don't get better at yet, you need material science. You need nanofibers and graphene, weave you know they talk about a space tether you know like the idea of a rope that goes from the earth into orbit and you've got a thing hanging from it and you could just a space elevator or a space lift if you will and you could do it absolutely but you need that carbon nanofiber like cable because just probably a ton of it well that's the weight is the problem several times the the weight alone of like a of like a steel cable would snap

itself, you know, let alone the pull of something rotating gravitationally. A steel cable here me out, Taylor. So you can picture you can picture a tower that goes up, right? And how

obviously it would get so heavy it would crush on itself and we can't build a tower that goes all the way to space. But hear me out, we build a half of it from the earth going up, half of it from space going down, but it's spinning in this centrifugal force. So at some point, it's almost pulling from both sides, and now we have a sturdy cable from which we can

attach an elevator and just go up and down. Part of it is being sucked towards the earth. Part of it is being pulled away from the earth, and we just have this structure that allows us to go in and out of the troposphere. I don't know. Is that how it works? Like you could equalize that? No. No. I'm wrong. Okay. What happens every show? It's like you grab a kid by the hands and you start spinning. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do this every day. Yeah, all the weight is right there. your hands. Like none of it is going the other way. Gravity is pulling, and in the case of like the space

elevator thing, gravity's pulling at all and the centrifugal force of the Earth spinning and it orbiting is causing even more strength because it's So there's no possible way to build that outside of a material we haven't fully understood yet. Well,

from what I heard I think that like, it's like graphene or carbon nanotube? or something like it's something that we can it's something that's very expensive to make and we can make in very small quantities but we would need an enormous amount of it's almost like when they talk about antimatter we can create a little bit of antimatter is this is this real news though or is this like we're not going to the moon any earlier than 2025 oh yeah no this isn't really happening like yeah there's there's no way we haven't heard of aerogel yeah yeah yeah

arrow gel is cool where they they put have you touched it i haven't touched it but i've seen that guy You can order it on Amazon. And then he puts like a blow torch on the top to show that it just doesn't disseminate heat downward. It looks like smoke. Apparently, it feels like glass and you can smush it with you. I've never touched it. You can smush it with your fingers. And it's the lightest material for volume on Earth.

And it's an amazing insulator. So that's kind of what you were calling out. They put a blow torch on one side. The other side is fine. And like Kyle said, you can buy it on Amazon. I got into it last night and I started looking at all the aerogel people. No, because the reviews were like, this stuff is really cool, but it's not actually aerogel. Aerogel is supposed to weigh this per density and I put it on my little drug dealer scale and it weighed more than it was supposed to.

Or one of them didn't look like smoke to me. I saw this video that got me into this of Neil deGrasse Tyson handing his aerogel to, who's the Savage he was on the show where they debunk truths uh oh come on you know this

Dan Savage no no no he's the gay guy he used to build props for Hollywood he had that walrus like co-hosts Oh the MythBusters guy Yeah it's something we're getting there Jamie and Matt something

Jamie and shit Holy fuck what's his name that this is crazy Adam Savage Adam Savage so he had Adam Savage and he's like you know I have aerogel Adam Savage turned three years old he's like no way you have aerogel he's like yeah he's like can I see it and he's like I trust you you can touch it and he puts the aerogel in his hand and it I don't know my words that well translucent maybe like it looked like smoke light went through it but you couldn't you couldn't uh you couldn't see the from the on the

other side of it and it apparently weighs just slightly more than nothing and uh and it's an amazing insulator and i was going to get it off amazon but i was either hearing they're way smaller than you think they are or they're not really aerogel and i wasn't sure how i felt did it did it come in like a puck or how did it arrive they looked like um maybe uncum cut diamonds, like just sort of random shapes. You can order it right here. Let me look at

buy arrowjail.com. It's rather affordable. I don't know how big these are because that's actually a good question. They're like $30, $60, $70. That's a really good question because I don't want to pay $35 for some tiny little. Yeah, I was going to buy it.

I was going to buy it and like reveal it on the show. I was like, oh, for $24. this will be neat but if it's smaller than a sugar cube I was like I don't think it works on the show if it's that small. Another thing you can order off Amazon that's pretty cool is gallium. Gallium is like mercury

except not toxic it'll melt in your hand, turn into liquid and then you throw it back in its container turns out this little hard little metal puck is cool? Is that the one that yes it like eats aluminum where you can rub a little or I think you have to scratch aluminum first

to create little divvets. Yeah, you abrase it. And then you put gallium on top. And then you can like just peel like a whole MacBook or whatever aluminum you put it on. If you put it on an aluminum can, after an aluminum can will just like, crumple into like tensile, like into nothingness. Like crumble away. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That's crazy.

I just always wanted to play with Mercury when I was a kid. And then obviously you find out that it's incredibly poisonous and gives you heavy metal poisoning. Allegedly. And, like, through history, it was often used as a medicinal. Like, they would inject mercury into their penises to deal with syphilis. They would, there was, like, always a Chinese emperor or something who would have to live forever, and he was drinking mercury. I think that might be the same Chinese emperor who is now buried in that tomb, protected by the Mercury Indiana Jones traps and stuff. The heavy is mercury?

No, I've never had the opportunity to play. I've seen it. I play with mercury a bunch. In your hand. Oh, yeah, yeah. I hold it in my hand, pour it to the other one, like doing the thing. It's like it. It's a liquid metal. It's really cool. If you like drop it, it breaks a bunch of smaller like drops. And then you push them together and they turn into the big one again and you can like reform it. And I always thought it was really cool. We had it in high school. And the other kids are like, don't touch it. You'll get poison. And I'm like, nothing is happening. And now I can't remember faces. Oh my God. Damn, that's awesome. They just served up mercury to you at your high school and really have fun kids. Pretty much. Because I would have touched Mercury, too, at that age.

I would have been like, I'm not even sick yet. I told us early on that it was bad for you. We played with liquid nitrogen. Oh, wait, wait. Do you think I didn't know it was? Oh, yeah. Yeah, they did warn you. Yeah, yeah.

Everyone knew. I'm tough. That's how kids are. You're telling like, hey, that's a poisonous berry. I'm tough. Yeah, I never fucked with Mercury, but we did play with liquid nitrogen. That was neat. I remember I was asleep in class. We had tables, not desks. We had, because it was like a lab class. And I had my head down. I was fully asleep. It was first period. I was just conked out. And Mr. McCamson took a ladle full of liquid nitrogen. threw it on the table at me and it just like sizzled and popped and like woke me the fuck up and everybody laughed at me. He was great. Mr. Maximum was a fun time. What a cool guy.

This is Galavante. She was doing a class where she put sodium in water. Did you guys do this too? And you know what it does. You put sodium and water and it kind of explodes. And you know, she does it in first period. I'm not there or anything. And you know, they're all impressed by it. It's cool.

She does it in second period getting a little braver and it's cool. By the time. my class got there the ceiling tile was burnt like it had the smoke and residue and i was like fuck we missed the good one like we miss the good one she's surely going to learn from that accident not no not this broad no way she had fucking she was a baller let's see what three grams does kids exactly and she puts it in there and the ceiling tile blows out of place that was the best one all day oh that's awesome yeah teachers like like that get kids actually interested in science like i remember it was kind of a small thing but

showing what the um atmospheric pressure does to a vacuum by taking an aluminum can you put a little liquid in aluminum can grab it with some tongs put it over a burner you get the liquid in the very bottom boiling and then you quickly invert the can into water and then it goes yeah you've created a vacuum inside because of all the steam the steam then condenses down to a liquid leaving that vacuum behind and the 14 roughly PSI of atmospheric pressure at our sea level here just smushes the can. And you realize, I'm under that all the time. I'm always being smushed by that one atmosphere. And it gives you a better understanding for what it means to go to altitude and what it means to go to depths and sort of understanding atmospheres and air pressure and water pressure and stuff.

I don't have as many great memories about like my physics chemistry teachers as you guys where I remember, Mr. Bradley. Mr. Bradley was our seventh grade chemistry teacher, and he was very, very fun in all the experiments he would allow, and he'd let us do those sorts of things. And then my buddy Carter, because Mr. Bradley also had like a wild lazy eye, the laziest of eyes you can even imagine. And so it was really tough.

Like I would think sometimes like he's looking at me right now. He's mad at me. And then he would turn and it'd be like, oh, no, that was just the lazy one. like he wasn't actually mad at me but he uh my buddy carter made like a paper plane and like threw it at mr bradley at one point and he just missed it entirely and so then it became a game for carter to throw as many paper airplanes past him as he could but when he finally caught on he was upset he realized that they were making a mockery of him the same way my uh the only other teacher

I remember being made a mockery of which I feel bad at Mr. Bradley because he was really cool but this other guy, Mr. Voss in I want to say junior year world history or some sort of history he was the guy who

was like at the time like 78 years old and so people would smoke weed in his class people like they I remember this guy Jared a year above me like was notorious for having smoked lit and smoked a joint in the back

of Mr. Voss's class and then just like blew it in a backpack and he because Mr. Voss was so blind he couldn't see anything. He was the guy that I brought up many, many years ago where you could toss fresh yellow tennis balls to other people in the class and he wouldn't notice because he couldn't see yellow. He couldn't see yellow at all. He was like nearing blind. And so like we play catch with yellow tennis balls and then as long as our body movements were static when he turned back he would be none the wiser the big shout out i'm if he's not dead by now it's an astonishing turn but he's absolutely dead because that was 20 years ago so i doubt he got to 1001 so yeah good for him big shout out mr boss sorry we were shitheads isn't that funny like looking back

and realizing the frustration from the teacher's perspective, like growing up and kind of realizing that. Because as a kid, you're just like, oh, this guy doesn't want us to have fun. We had a teacher. He taught like US, no, world history he taught.

And he was just chill. If you were a little late walking into class, he didn't super enforce that bell thing, which was nice because the school was big enough that like sometimes, even if you made your best effort, you could be 10 seconds late, and he just let it go. So kids observed that.

People would come strolling in like two minutes after the bell rang, a popsicle in hand, just like, you know, eating in class. And this guy was chill about that. It kind of went too far. And he was old,

but I didn't recognize like how old he was. Like I think he was in his 70s, but I'm 17, Everyone over 40 is in their 70s to me. Sure. And then midway through the year, he got sick. And we had like another teacher come in and he just, he was like, you guys have been taking advantage of this man.

He's 76 years old. He doesn't have the energy. He died. He died. Our class took advantage of this guy's final months of like, I don't know, this is the end of Ronald Reagan's second term. this guy was born in 1908 and he died and we had like a sub fill out the rest of the year and in hindsight

none of my teacher interaction stories and with me being proud of me that's not how it ever was oh man yeah it's so weird like thinking about school and after having been an adult how differently you would behave and also realizing the impulses of your teachers at the time. Because looking back, it's like, when I was a senior in high school, I was looking at my English teacher, who I really wasn't a fan of, and being like, oh, you're just a bitch. Like, you're just some old fogey. And in reality, she was probably like 48. Like probably, she had her own kids, like younger than us, probably.

This guy taught us about the different races. And I don't think any of that was like on the books. He's like cocazoids. They share this in common. They're the harriest. They're that. Mongoloids are this. Can you say Mongoloids?

Negroids are that. Can you? I remember I was like, my ears perked up. Like, what's he going to say about negroids? Go ahead. Go ahead. Play with fire. He said they were the most varied of all the races.

They have the tallest, the shortest. The summer Harris. some are hairy some or not i was like okay that would make sense because if he was including in the negroid definition like nigerians and those like little uh pigmy people like if he was counting those as like the same group not that would that would make sense but but that is very funny nowadays you don't even touch that like every race is exactly the same go with it yes yes I'm a liberal, which means I agree with a young earth creationists in that humans are the only group exempt from the pressures of evolution. Yeah, no.

We're the only ones. Someone on a Joe Rogan podcast, I forget what he was talking. I think it was intelligence. And he was like, it just doesn't make sense that every race would have exactly equal intelligence. He didn't dip his toe into the fire of like stack ranking them. But he's like, if you told me every race was the same height, I'd say that sounds like. like kind of bullshit. If you told me every race was the same strength, I'd say, oh, that sounds like kind of

bullshit. If you tell me every race is the same intelligence, I'm like, nope, that is straight up perfect. And I was like, oh, yeah, that is weird, isn't it? I don't know. I feel like a race is saying this, but like, no, you're not at all. You're just observing reality where it's like, yeah, you're right. Don't do that. Now, we're not all in the same environments, right?

You know, so if you took me and put me in a really disadvantaged country, I wouldn't be me. You'd be close to you, though, because we do have twin studies confirming that. Well, they're also in pretty similar, like, what are they both? No, no, no, no. In America. Twin studies are where they take twins who are put up for adoption. One of them goes to an affluent household. One of them goes to a poor household.

And what they find is that they end up. similar in their intellectual capacity with the wealthy one coming in just like a cunt hair above. And so that that like ability to have resources and whatnot that does impact it. It's just not as impactful as a lot of people wished it was. I need to see the study because I really want the poor kids to be in Rwanda like that level of like disadvantage. Oh yeah. Generally you know not one was in New Jersey and the other was in Utah. Why not though? Because isn't that also? effective? Like if a really poor twin goes to New Jersey in an

impoverished household and then the other goes to like a wealthy Minnesota family and then they find at the end of it that they're... If it's impoverish enough, the IQ they register is similar. But I... Bump for the one in the healthy household.

It's clearly a... I want to not speak a whiff of direction, right? Like I've never been to Wawanda, but I assume that you could go up there and never think that college was a possibility for you right just no one in your whole universe goes to the university I want to see how that guy because if you just take a poor person from Greensboro North Carolina they know damn well what college is so it's not enough for my

hypothetical situation I just don't use college I guess is the barometer of that the way you are I'm trying to it's a metaphor for opportunity and direct you know it's it's a little bit different but in the 15th century the king of scotland sent these two kids and a mute nurse to an island uh to see if the children would develop the natural human language on their own that's out they did crazy it didn't work out how wait two like babies yeah yeah yeah with some bitch on an island a mute nurse yeah a mutant they wanted that he believed that there was like a ghoul that guy was that's fucked up. And then he later was like a natural human language or an original human language or

something like that. He was trying to suss that out. Turns out not. That's learned, not instinctive. I remember they, I think, I don't know who was the kid they based Tarzan on, but there was this dog boy they found in the forest of India or some shit. And he never stopped walking on all fours and like he always hated clothes and he never spoke right. Although the pictures of him, he looks like he's not all there. He's all like, do you want to talk about lazy eyes? this kid was fucked up see if you'd find that dog boy Zach picture that Indian dog boy

that never ended up talking right he was running out of part he was raised by dogs or wolves or jackal or something shit no he really was he was raised by dogs or some shit and he would bark and like growl at people and he never was right but I think it was crazy

what I think happened is that he was already retarded and then he was abandoned and then those two things have converged to create this dog boy but uh but the photo of him, Zach, if you can find him. He's very like crazy-eyed.

It was like- Yeah, I bet he is fucking crazy-eyed. It was like 1902 or something when this happened, because that's what the photos always looked like to do. Well, he looks for that dog boy. Woody, huge fight this weekend. Aspinall taking on gone. 1867,

thanks. Please find a photo of that dog boy. Find the dog boy. Cyril Cyril gone, taking on Tom Aspinall. Finally getting some heavyweight action in the UFC again and uh there he is see he was never right um Jesus Christ but um I'm used to sell his body for some food yeah no what no takers no take poor fella um that's not even the dogs is my bone um I'm I'm excited for this fight this has huge implications for like legacy

of both Aspinall and Jones um since that Jones annihilated gone and his maybe his only heavyweight outing. I don't really remember. Oh, he also fought the ancient stepe. But when he solidified the belt, it was taken on Gond for the title. Annihilated Gonn and less than a minute, if I remember correctly, walked off the camera, I could tell everybody

shush. Great moment. Then years went by. But now we're going to see Aspinol take on Gond. And I say that if I think Aspenol's going to win, I think he's going to knock on the fuck out. Might take him a couple rounds. But if Gond somehow wins, this changes the

legacy picture a little bit for John Jones and Aspinall. And it takes a little bit of the stink off of the Jones, clearly ducking Aspinall for the last few years. Because what Jones always reverts back to is he's a flash in the pan. He's the new kid on the block. I'm the generational goat. I'm the guy who marched through three or four different generations of fighters, fighting styles. And as the game evolved, I evolved with it, but still one step ahead. I I came in one step ahead at 19. I stepped out one step ahead at 40 or whatever he is. And this guy's a flash in the fan.

Who lost to somebody I annihilated the first chance he got to defend his belt? That to me is an argument that I can get behind, especially if you don't hate John Jones. Like if you're just outside of looking in. Because I do hate John Jones. But they offered John Jones. I forget it the number was 10 million or 30. 25 million?

He's like for 25 million. I'll fight him. And Dana White was like, okay, fine, 25 million. And then Jones said, I didn't know you to offer it. Never mind. There's no amount of money that will get me to fight this guy. It was it 30? Okay.

Yeah. So when GSP retired, he, I forget who he beat. It might have been Johnny Hendricks. I forget who it was. But he beat this guy. And then they're like, hey, what about this other up-and-comer? He says, no, I'm retiring. There will always be another.

up and comer but I'm going to stop here you know and he didn't say that other guy's not worthy of me like john jones did he said there's always going to be a next guy I have to retire at some point and he did that I can respect did he duck that guy no he just called it a career although he did come back and beat up his being and then beat up his being at 185 and then called it a career for good good but um that was strategic as fuck he came back when you could take another belt and then just bounce he was like the 185 guy the one weight class above me i think i got him and he was right and then he just never fought again so but when he retired the first time i like the way he did it he didn't say this other guy's not good enough to hold my jock he said there'll always be a threat out

there it's not like i can ever retire with no threats on the horizon i'm done jones is a pussy jones is like 30 million and then they gave it to him and he's like he just kept on running And he delayed, he sucked like, what, 18 months, two years out of Aspinall's career by pretending he wanted to fight him and ducking and dodging. That's cowardly and it is, um, uh, I'm going for like all about himself. Narcissistic. No, I was going forward. Solipsistic. Selfish is what I was going for.

Thank you. It's cowardly and it's selfish for him to put another guy on ice that long, pretending he wants to fight when really he wants to. duck um and then of course jones i don't know how many times has been caught for steroids five something like that like that to me puts a mark on your career i think the record for defending your belt in the ufc at heavyweight is three stepe did it and i want to say aspinall easily beats ghan or ghanier i think i've spelled funny i want to say aspiral easily beats him and i'm sure he'll be the favorite. But in heavyweight where everybody has dynamite in their

hands, I'm not sure of it. I hope Aspinall keeps doing what he's been doing. So it looks like Randy Cortour had Oh wait, no, I'm reading this wrong. Never mind. Okay. What did Randy Gattour do? I,

disregard. I know that Jones has 13 title defenses at light heavy weight, which is just staggering. How many did Ken Shamrock have? I have no idea Did he ever get a long time That was a long time before I watched UFC

Four times Stepe did it four times That's the record Okay Ken Shamrock is such a cool name Do you know what his nickname is No what is it World's Most Dangerous Man

That's long but it's cool It's pretty good It's pretty good Yeah but you can imagine What it sounds like When Bruce Buffert says The world's most dangerous man Yeah

Oh shit fighting out of the left corner that guy's awesome and can you find a flattering picture he might have been you know yeah so this was pretty cool Ken Shamrock was a mixed martial arts fighter in the very beginning

and I'm asking for this picture because he looked like what everyone thinks the world's most dangerous man would look like he's a perfect specimen kind of an Italian guy and then he goes up against hoist Gracie who weighs like 155 or something like that at the time

but Hoysh Gracie is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu specialist. That's even how older. That is not a flattering picture that I asked for. This is like retired Ken Shamrock. That man was a perfect specimen. And then he went up against Hoyst Gracie and he just like everyone who goes up against a Jitz guy, he doesn't know when he's in danger and Hoyce Gracie managed to beat him. And it was pretty cool.

And they did a rematch and I think it was like a tie of some sort. There is no way, by the way, Kyle. That's in WWE on the left for sure, right? Yeah, look, you can see Shamrock. He's wearing Shamrock emblazoned briefs, so, like, it's got to be wrestling. Kyle, why are you saying this guy's a Wop? Like, what? His name's Shamrock.

He has a brother, too. I think they're adopted. I don't think Irish people are actually named Shamrock. Like, like, I would believe an Irish person is named Shamrock more than a Wop. He has a brother. named Frank Shamrock and I don't think they even know each other they were like separated at birth is my story right I I've never heard that one man his nose on the right that tells a story yeah it's a lot of punishment he's been he's been hit a few

times that's a lot oh okay they're not biological brothers they were both adopted so they're both high-level fires 55 they were raised by Bob Shamrock but they're not the last name is nothing to do with his bloodline I'm going to ask, is Ken Shamrock Italian? Because that would be a huge conspiracy. The other side of the card that I care about is McKinsey Dern versus that, I think her name's Lupe or something. Verna Janderoba. I think the caller loop.

All the prox have both of them in their bikinis. Those are. Oh, no, no, no. Am I mixing up the phone? They have an interviewer and McKenzie. So click that YouTube link. I even timestamped it for you. So that's McKinsey Dern and the interviewer.

Her opponent is an incredibly unattractive woman. If you click the UFC link and scroll down just a little, they're the co-main event. And her opponent is just a real, real ugly lady. Here's a direct link to ugly... Oh, Verna. Janda roba? Yeah, yeah. What a, what a

ghoul sheet. She looks AI generated. Yeah, she's, I mean, so does McKenzie's ass. McKenzie, McKinsey, McKinsey Dern is. Dude, Verna Janadroba looks like when you hit Randomize on the oblivion character. Kyle's right. It was the interviewer.

That was not, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I thought both of them were fighters. Meanwhile, McKenzie Dern, it's kind of a cutie. She's on the right, McKenzie Dern. So, McKenzie Dern, here's why she rubs me the wrong way. She's stunningly beautiful. She's from Arizona, right? And if you hear her in interviews,

it's as if English is her second language. She got so into Brazilian culture, she started pretending she doesn't speak English very well. She stutters on common words. It's like, uh, how do you say, uh, good? And for her, that's very funny. In Brazil, if, uh, if someone's name is, like R-O-Y. They pronounce that

Hoy. Like all their R-R-S are H's. Hois-Gracy, R-O-Y-C-E. And she started doing that. She started pronouncing all her R's as H's. She pretends she lost the language. And she has this Brazilian boyfriend. She sounds

just, she has started just it's that thing where I'm like, I'm a Yankees fan too. We're so perfect together. Like the girl, I always accuse girls of doing. She adopted everything about this guy, including his loose grasp on English. Dude, I hate this card

you guys have linked because it's just reaffirming what I feared is that Russia is way better than us at this. Look at how many Russians where are the American flags? Where are the Americans? I'm scrolling down. Oh, we got

Mario Batista in the America category, but by the time I get to him, there's fucking four Russians. And then scroll down. at this. Russia, Russia, Russia. There are definitely a ton of Russian. Humiliated.

You have to go all the way down to Mitch Raposo to find another American. But no Russian champions anymore. That's the important thing. Wait, I thought the Chechnya Well, I don't count him. He's a, he's a, I don't know what he is, but he's not, he's not Russian.

I don't think. He's more Arab. The Chechnians? They're absolutely Russian, aren't they? They're from, like, they're from northeast of Moscow, right? That is not my understanding of geography, though I admit it is tenuous at best. I'm not trying to catch you. I just thought that was where they were.

I thought the Chechens were from that, like, Balkans region, like in the southwest of, like, central Russia. I trust you more than me. Cosmot Russian. Kamsat. that's who we're referring to right now he's Russian right well no it wasn't just him it's these you got Umar

Nurgumum Nerma Nerma he's not a champ Kyle's saying the champs are not Russian anymore there's two of them that are Georgian And Georgian is really Thank God The Soviet Union fell apart

Because otherwise this would be a really difficult thing to reconcile Yeah Georgia is like One of those countries where it's like Yeah you're your own country for sure you're not a holdout from the soviet union you're definitely your own country the russians are still doing really well but it's i don't like that true that if you have dynamite in your hand you can beat a grappler and i see tom aspinall versus cyril ganier and nothing against france but i feel

a much closer connection to england than i do to france and so i got a poll for england over france in this 100% english well i just like tom as well you know what you know what I like, have you ever seen those English full breakfasts? If you were to delete the beans from it and add in like mushrooms or something, something tasty. I disagree. It's a pretty good meal. What about the blood sausage? You a big fan of the blood sausage?

What about that, that ham that they don't cook all the way? It always looks raw. You got to cook it a little bit. See, they have a little bit of fear in England over the, I believe it's called the Mayard Browning. reaction. Yeah. They need a little more my yard browning on their foods.

Someone's explained this the other day and I had never heard it before but it's 100% right. The Blitz in World War II, London living almost starving because that's what Hitler was trying to do is trying to starve

England out. You know, we were feeding them with shipping goods in. It changed the way that they eat to this day. Like they still eat

like they're under the fucking Blitz Creek, like they still do. All their food looks like shit. Every time I look at a plate of British food, all of it, all of it. Every time I see a plate of British food. I'm telling you, that breakfast is disgusting. The breakfast is not disgusting.

As long as you cook the sausage enough, you cook the bacon enough, you cook the mushrooms. They don't, though. I've seen what they do. Like, you're saying, oh, trust me, they have all the right ingredients. I could make a good meal of this.

I'm saying they don't though They don't cook it long enough Is a thing They don't brown their sausages They don't eat grits They don't make they don't like They don't eat grits are Grits are the most boring food

I've never seen them scrambling egg I'm not saying they don't I just don't see you've had grits I've had grits I love grits They stink They're not very flavor They're delicious

They're delicious Maybe if you dump a fuck ton of Tabasca Or eggs in a bad flavor A British food Yeah I think that's when they like Eggs in a basket. I haven't heard of that. Or eggs in a...

We call it toad in a hole in my house. It's a... It's just toast with egg on it, right? Yeah. Well, you put a hole in the middle. If your wife loves you, it looks like a Valentine. And she uses a cookie cutter. And then the bread has an unhealthy amount of butter,

and I don't want to talk about it. And I don't make it so it's not my fault. And then I would just call that top to your breakfast food. it is it's very tasty how's wrong here show us a picture that disgusting breakfast no show us a normal

don't and then just show me you don't even need to go hard in the paint just show me the IHop or the Denny's Grand Slam special don't search for anything negative would you rather go into a nice little cafe in London

whatever they call them there at a little pub and have yourself some fine English breakfast or would you rather just swing on over to Denny's get a grand slam I don't tell you right now that I don't want that blood sauce

I don't like sunny sunny side of you're a craziest hell over there is clearly undercooked and it's so fatty and disgusting little what are those tomatoes I don't want those beans I don't want those mushrooms I have a question you're out of your mind you're out of your mind what's that green stuff they're drinking go back to that's a breakfast baby is that go back one what are the three hockey pucks on this plate blood sausage blood sausage now I don't know how good blood sausage is but every single thing on this plate looks fantastic other than the beans the beans in a breakfast beans for breakfast is fucking insane and they should be made fun of for that but every other thing on here the

mushrooms look good the tomatoes i'll eat the blood sausage those eggs could be done a little actually no they don't need to be done anymore because there's clearly bread on the side there oh bam i was like the lack of bread you can do a little shopping you can do a little shopping Zach would you take this shit away stop it You're ruining the conversation. The googly eyes on the tea, I think add a lot to the meal. I think every single, Kyle, what about this? Other than the beans, I am coming to the table.

It's a hundred percent fucking absurd to be eating bean. An apocalypse survivor, there's seven ingredients here. And there were the ones that we would ship over on Liberty ships probably. It's nothing but preserve. What about this other than the beans? And canned beans. All of it. I don't want a bite of it.

I will say this. I will say this. That's sausage, not the blood sausage, but the other one, I'd like to know what's in it. If you tell me there's nothing weird in there, there's no blood. It's probably pork, and if so, then I would eat those little sauce. How about that ham above it? I don't want that ham. I don't want that ham.

I don't want that. Is a qualifier that goes on all sausage. Are you a shroom man? Or are you like, you don't like mushrooms? I don't hate them, but I don't want them for breakfast in a big pile of sauteed mushrooms. If they replaced all those beans with even more mushrooms, I would think this was the best breakfast ever. Well, you just, okay. Well, you know, I don't know what blood sausage tastes like.

So fair enough. This is worse than your prostitution take. No, no, it's pretty, it's pretty salient. It's pretty good. It's a disgusting breakfast. Everyone knows the disgusting breakfast. Everyone. It's not a disgusting breakfast.

Shout out to my Brit boys. The only thing disgusting is eating a fucking two handful. portion of beans at 7 a.m. I bet they made those beans like a national, I can't what they call an individual item. I bet they made a special item during World War II. It seems like many beams. Is it not?

I assume there were more beans under that tomato and under that. It's all beans. It's all beans under it all. The eggs are on beans. The ham is on beans. It's a pound of beans. No, maybe I'm underestimating the amount of beans. I do not want beans in breakfast. That's a fucking ridiculous.

And here's another thing about the beans. It's not like they cooked beans, because I'm not anti-bean. I like beans, but like, I know you are. But I cook them. These are canned beans. These are specifically Heinz canned beans. This is, again, left over from World War II starvation era, Britain. Here's why I like it.

I feel like this meal is closer to the source than the American meal he was showing. Like, whatever pancakes are, it is very processed. a caveman wouldn't know what to do with a pancake a caveman sees that tomato and he knows what's up that hand I disagree oh you're so right what do you just hit a fucking home run with that take the fact you can't see what's the difference a pancake and a tortilla or

or those corn cakes that the name of America I don't see a tortilla here I see a delicious breakfast with a bunch of nonsense beans in the middle you get rid of those beans you get rid of those beans this is tasty as hell you don't think this is tasty as hell looking minus the beans pancakes for breakfast, predate beans for breakfast, I guarantee it.

Really? You think that something that had to be made pre-existed things that are just there? It's not like you eat raw beans. You have to boil the beans for three fucking hours and then season and sauce them. You said it was right out of a can. I'm talking about the origins of the meals. We're talking about ancient pancakes here, Taylor. We're in a cave, hot rocks, and ground wild flour and corn. Zach says pancakes were made by Iraqi Neanderthal, 70,000 years ago.

I told you, Taylor, we're going back, all right? Beans. We hadn't, we hadn't, the beans of that time were poison. You guys don't see the value in getting a bite of that delicious tomato, a little bite of the mushroom, a little bite of the sausage, you eat all that at once? You don't think that'll be tasty? Oh, what a novel concept, a little bite of everything at once. Then we can't taste how. awful each individual thing is great great we'll just take taste salt and blood that's what this whole meal

is it's nothing but salt these complaints sound like a fucking four year old yeah oh oh oh so you're gonna make me eat things that aren't immediately yummy you're coming off a little vegan here yeah i mean i didn't want to i didn't want to break out the long daggers but you're sounding a little vegan with your your salt and blood complaints this is pretty gay blood is some of my favorite things. I love something more. You don't like something more? I'm telling you this is clearly a bad breakfast. I'll do it a bit. Those tomatoes especially look delicious and I don't want those

tomatoes look fantastic. Oh, I can't wait for a mouthful of watery tomato. Yum. Well, let's go watch the beans down. Wow. Wow. Imagine pressure goes back up. Imagine telling on yourself

the way Kyle just did with those tomatoes. Oh, it would be watery and disgusting. It is. Never had a tasty tomato, dude. Do you think that's an American tomato that they've got there? No, that's one of those sickly British tomatoes. Look at it. It's beautifully browned. No, that's just what they look like when you caught them.

That's a dirty tomato. No, it's not. You think that's charred? You think they charred that tomato. I do. I think that's charred. That tomato has a scab. My grandparents had tomato plants.

I saw what they looked like charred. In England? You're wrong. English tomato plants? Have you seen English? They behaved. magically magically. It crossed a pond.

The whole thing is overgrown, the country. It rains, it's all green. They can grow tomatoes, I'm sure. You are so wrong. They do not grow tomatoes in England. There's no fucking way they do. They get them probably from fucking Italy or Spain. That can't be true, but I'm not sure.

I don't know they grow anything there. They probably import it from Italy or Spain. When I see that top gear guy growing stuff, he's growing like fucking potatoes and lentils and shit. Tomatoes are widely grown in England both commercially. and by home gardeners. Wow. Checkmate there. How do you even manage having a take so bad?

Like, I've never been there. How do you even consolidate a take so poor? You're defending what is known worldwide as a subpar, disgusting cuisine and that meal in particular. English breakfast is what they are seen for as good. The English breakfast is solid. If you get rid of the beans, it's a delicious breakfast. You fucking idiot.

No, it's not. No one wants sauteed mushrooms for breakfast. No one wants an entire tomato. I do. For those who are audio only, they took a whole tomato. Are you a little picky bit? And they took the cut side down on a grill. And then they just threw it into the plate, like an apple cut in half.

No, thank you. I would rather have some eggs, some bacon, some sausage, some toast. Maybe some pancakes or some French toast. But I'm not eating that. You just named fucking four things that are in the meal. No, they're not. No, they're not.

We don't know what's in those sausages. You never did specify. And I don't know what that ham is. That looks wild. That doesn't look like country ham to me. Doesn't look like city ham either, which is what we call the other kind of ham. Okay, Taylor, let me hit you with this.

So we're on the same team. We both think that the breakfast is good. Yeah. But I'm also offering like a Denver omelet. An omelet, you got some ham in there, some onions, some tomatoes. Whatever you want in your omelet. I'm all in on that, too.

delicious. I love a Denver. Does it beat what you saw on that plate, an omelette, to your call, to your specs? Actually, I can't even say it doesn't beat it. It's just that that English breakfast has so much sausage, so much ham, so many eggs. Like, it's a better, from a volume perspective. An even bigger omelet. This plate is an unusually large plate that you don't bump into every day. Okay. Hold on. Now Woody, now what he sold me. Yes. I would. I would prefer the gigantic I'm sorry to think you only like that British breakfast because the portions were

so fucking out of control. Because by the way, no British breakfast will ever look like. That's a big part of it. It's the portion. That's an absurd take. You've just spoiled your entire argument with your nonsense. I've spurled it. You only

spoiled. You only like that breakfast because there's heaps of it. So you're freely admitting that the ingredients themselves but they gave me so much ham it's all you can eat ham clearly like i do wonder how this would go like taylor do you want beans for breakfast no how about an entire cattle of beans hold on give me a sec no i don't want a gallon of beans i don't want a witch's cauldron of beans i don't want beans as any part of my breakfast beans is an absurd thing to eat for breakfast

and the british should be shamed for it but the rest of that meal the fact that you looked at those perfectly browned tomatoes as something disgusting. Tells me you don't know flavor. You don't know anything. You don't know the flavor that a slight browning imparts on a tomato. You clearly don't.

Look at you. Look at you quizzically. Looking at me here. I've roasted many of tomatoes. I've roasted more tomatoes that you've seen. Oh. Oh. Oh. No.

No. odd tomatoes and you're a faggotte and well you're half right you haven't eaten all right well I think that's about time to call it. Even the British 775

check the links of the description start coming like a hero that'll do and the Germans aren't coming anymore you can you can eat a fucking pop tart or something you don't have