Painkiller Already - PKA 776: Woody's Prank Back Fires

Episode Date: November 1, 2025

what's up boys hello wow wow that god damn carol baskins that's really good kyle and woody you look so sinister Woody is a count, a vampire, an evil man, looks sinister. Kyle, you're a tiger abusing homosexual. Correct. And I'm the coolest and would win of all three. I am the third evolution of Charmander. I am Charzard with the wing.

I spent longer than you can guess trying to get these wings appropriate. But it turns out this shit just like packed up in a Chinese way. warehouse it's like all folded it wouldn't it wouldn't change but it's pretty sick pretty did you iron it uh no no i got this like three hours ago you were the real thing when i saw you i thought you were actually a Pokemon yeah i thought you were an actual dinosaur or something i don't fucking know see the Pokemon angle is something that i know going into it you guys aren't going to fully get it but the audience will a bunch of Pokemon boys out there in the audience my age and younger. And everybody knows Charzard. Like, he's the king

Pokemon. I can't keep talking about it. I wouldn't say everybody. You know. You've got a kid. Man, Kyle, I love the mustache. Woody, the eye makeup is fantastic. And the addition of that gold chain is so good. It's holding my cape on. Oh, you guys don't even know. I got a stab. Hell yeah. I got my, I got my, I got my mail in this like half an hour ago. it came with an electric bill my neighbor was my boomer neighbor was mowing his lawn and they just a little bit of he's like oh he's probably one of those furries that i heard about on fox going to go up gay sex and a dragon costume yeah well happy

halloween are you guys all candied up for tomorrow evening no i don't do that you don't Socialism Taylor We tried it for like four or five years in a row Those four or five years I literally had like zero customers Not a single person would walk up my long driveway Now we don't even turn the lights on We sell candy

That's smart That's smart Yeah they all want it What we have like they're out there looking for it I figured to make a quick buck Capital is very supporting Oh and I love the The lion behind you

Oh my gosh I just noticed him yeah that's great yeah yeah he's chilling uh that was the most expensive part of the costume it was supposed to be a tiger got a lion instead um i'm not very happy with it i wasn't gonna point that out yeah yeah it's i was very disappointed when i opened the box i did in fact order a siberian tiger in fact um but i got that guy like that that that lion there which the dogs will tear completely to shreds right after the show i'm going to give it to them let them have at it they are terrified of it and me. I walked in there a minute ago to make a cup of coffee

and they went. They're looking at me like I'm a fucking, well, the Tiger King. Yeah, they don't recognize quite the same. Jackie was doing my makeup and I'm like, am I am I about to have eyebrows?

Like the whole thing completely covering my eyes? Let's go. Tonight, baby. that's why you became the count is he wanted a little bit of any excuse to wear the eyebrow makeup i wouldn't have noticed the shaw of a ran next time just just keep doing characters with huge eyebrows i'm going to do anthony davis oh you can't see the only size they had was uh was triple x oh fits you like a glove don't say that i

Man, I really pitch that down the middle. They didn't have quads. Just a big, juicy, underhanded toss right over the plate. No, yeah, the bottoms, I look like I'm wearing Geneco jeans. It's enormous, the parachute. And I thought it would be a dress on the bottom. You think there'd be a better supply five minutes before Halloween? You'd think so.

in the adult costumes you'd think so but I have the closet I'm looking at on that side of the bedroom I have probably two feet high five feet long on one half of that closet is just the last decade of costumes

that we've done on the show that's all that's in there and it turns out I've noticed I have a penchant for the big soft suits that you put on I have a thing with a I beefed up one year this is a few years ago where I dressed up as a squirrel

and I didn't fully appreciate the fact that like this is really kind of a shoulders up costume thing. They can't see my big juicy tail. That doesn't work very well. But man, I love dressing up like this. It's weird not to have hex here. Shout out to hex. I wish she was here to appreciate it. Every year I'm like, I should be a Reno 911 cop. And then like, I was like, fuck, I did that. I did the best costume ever.

I can't do it again. There was one year I was Superboy because that was like a story I told and it related. All right. The thing is Superboy's costumes not that like sophisticated. He wore some like particular jeans, some real tall like sort of military black boots, a t-shirt and that's it. So everyone acted like I didn't wear a costume when I was actually done like head to toe. I like dyed my hair extra black for it, which people could. tell. And so now I just try to make sure that I never get accused of not having a

costume. Well, they don't, they're not putting their, you know, their thinking caps on because it's a costume where you can't have any, any mask, you can't have anything covering your mouth, you can't have anything that inhibits audio, and it has to carry itself based on like a bust. Yeah. Like just shoulders up. It can't include a bunch of other shit because no one's going to see it. Kyle's wearing a hat, but there are a lot of hats that don't work with headsets too. It limits the choices and ideas. Yeah, the headset does hide a bit of my, my wonderful blonde hair. It's wonderful. You are right? I noticed her right away, Silver Fox. Yeah, right. And this we got a whole other and tore it apart. My girlfriend had to sew it back on. Well, she did a great job.

This confirms how good you would look with a mustache. If you would just commit. Yeah, and get a mustache implant. You keep saying that. They can get it done. Every, every single, year when I'm walking through Spirit Halloween, like a day before we do this show, that that rabbi costume is like calling out to me like a green goblin mask. I'm like, just do it. I love that, Peter. Do it. And it's like, oh, no, I shouldn't, I shouldn't.

I love it. Failure's calling out like, yeah, look at Kyle's hair. Oh, I saw the lion immediately. I didn't see anything. I'm like, wait a minute. I also can't read all the words in front of me. I feel like my costume doesn't work with glasses. Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, you just not realizing you need your specs. Man, you guys did a great job. Love the little side piece there, Kyle. I'm really sorry that they delivered a tiger or a lion. He had lions as well. You know, he had lions as well. It's not that far outside the scope. It's not like they sent me a big dog or something.

Did you complain to Amazon? I did not. I did not. I'm pretty happy with the lion in the end anyway. The dogs are just terrified of it. When I carried it in here, they were just like, the fuck is that thing? Did you see it?

The fuck was that? They're raring to kill it. I'm excited to throw it to them in a little while. I played a prank on Jackie, you mentioning dogs, and it's totally backfired. So, all right, all right. When we let the dogs out to do their business, they get down to work for me.

And Jackie's like, oh, my God, I was out there for like 25 minutes. I got like one P out of two dogs. That's not good. And I come back four for four, four for four. I keep nailing these four for fours. And she's like, how do you do it? And she watches me. And I'm like, I'm going to, I got an idea.

So I start singing a song. Right? There's this, if you follow Formula One, there's this, the Maxford Stappan's a driver. And he has a theme song that goes, Bump Bop Bamp Max first happen Bomp Bump Bop so I'm out there going Bump Bump B B boopies B B B B B make my goal is to have Jackie do this And it is so endearing to me because she doesn't do it like a guy. It's supposed to be like heavy bass. She's with her girl like Baa Bha Bha just like not hitting it right but she's singing her song. is if that's why I'm successful.

I'm actually successful because I keep putting them, like I move them back into the spot when they do their work. And anyway, today I'm letting them out and they're not getting anything done. I'm a miss, a rare miss. So I sing the song. They immediately get to work.

I have Pavlonian train these dogs to the point that my prank on Jackie has backfired. And now I need to sing the poohy's peepy song. to get them to go to business. Oh man, you tried to be the puppet master and now you're trained. Yeah. Just sing that song. That is, the idea of you like having your coffee,

like watching Jackie out there singing, you can hear it faintly through the glass. I love it so much. Looking into the dew covered yard and you're just like, dumbass. That's the seed. That's the seed.

That's so funny. Like kitchen door. that leads outside has these like blinds built into the glass door and yeah i see her out there and i can hear her faintly singing that's a great prank good for you that's really funny actually there's a dance that goes with it i wasn't going to tell you i was embarrassed to show you the dance but here's how it goes all right it's a really specific dance it's a 10 by 12 body weight squats. A lot of flanks.

That's a lot of flanks to get them to go. That's great. Well, your dogs are probably like 70 pounds each by now, right? It's been a week. So when you guys saw them, they were 10 and 12 pounds. Now they're both like 18, 18, 20, something like that. They are just turning food into dog at an incredible rate. That's so fast.

Yeah, yeah. And they're getting kind of like bigger paws as well. like they get through the stage where the pauls are really outsized and that's starting nice are you going to pick up another member of the clan Kyle you were talking about that for a while then you kind of stopped when the third dog dies yeah yeah I have three right now when when one of those dies oh yeah anyone close to expiry your dogs are small and they live like 20 years well one of them's pretty pretty old and has that kidney or something issue yeah yeah the female like shepherd's mix is like six years old maybe seven um and kind of chunky she's been on a diet for a while but it turned out she has um either cushing's disease i think they said or a liver cancer um based on the testing so i don't know which it's going to come back as um but she's on a special liver medication now and she does seem like she's feeling better and she's like happier and losing weight finally so maybe she's healthier but she'd be the first one to go to toby's like

three and 70 pounds and then Murphy he's like two and 15 fucking pounds you know he's just a little ball of fur can live like a cat yeah pomeranians live like 15 to 20 years they've got them for the long haul mm not as bad as people who buy birds I know I've talked about that but like parrots can live to be like 88 it's like you you want to you want this you want to hand down a bird to your children like that's that's absurd I'd be so pissed if my dad died and he was like and now take

my 48 year old cockatiel and then someday you'll give this bird to your children you know about that parrot named Alex that was the smartest parrot ever so it's final words to its owner were you be good I love you see you tomorrow

and then it died oh that's crazy that's really sad yeah a lot of animals are smarter than we give them credit birds are some of the birds are up there the crows the the ravens the the speaking birds which ones octopus octopies in general yeah but they don't live long enough to like make shit no they live underwater they can't make shit anyway there's no smelting in the ocean that's true yeah dude we would

dominate a race of mer people that they'd never make it up the planet the same second they get their tridents from magic they would have to like just hope for a kind or dealings with with surface dwellers perhaps

I've lost faith in our ability to dominate if they have magic yeah you saw the magic like Ursula turned Ariel into a walking woman like clearly there was magic like come on this is supposed to be one of your favorites yeah I mean

all right true and that was a good one I like Sebastian on these fact checks the murph folk are not to be trifled with that's all I'm saying like like we can bandy about have a good time

but let's not disparage a proud race of powerful magical sea dwelling folk we'd fuck them up like what would they have to trade us that we would want because you're right the only tridents they're getting

are tridents that are like hand me downs from us microplastics microplastic currency it seemed like they had control over fish folk so like they could just make a bunch of fish flying to our nets this is again resorting to magic well they have magic

that's been established you saw the trident what if they just used tidal waves to take out our coastal cities how strong is this magic like in the abyss yeah it can be a problem most of our cities are on the water most the population is yeah

yeah but we'd We'd build new cities on the new shore. You know, we could do that because we're more industrials. Humanity. Humans. And think about how ineffective your torso would be in the sea. That's not how you'd want to work. That's not how you'd want to be. There's a reason that like fish don't evolve.

The cloaca is the best part. Do away with all this messy plumbing that I've got and just one hole for everything. Do you even have a penis then? Or do you just kind of like spew out a bunch of spurn? Yeah, yeah. You know, if you find a hot lady, you know, she'll be circling her clutch, you know, down in the sea and a seabed, and you just sort of crop dust it from above. Where she likes it or not, you know, there's no penetration, so it's not rape. No, it's really just kind of an air raid. Well, a water raid, yeah. Yeah, yeah, just crop dust the whole clutch there with my jisms. Clutches are built for crop dusting.

Clutches are built for crop dusting. It's been said. Yeah. ever watch those salmon videos how they turn into like horrible monsters that start decomposing as they swim back upstream that's crazy yeah yeah that's why and then you see all the codiac bears just like it that's there uh like it's like a parade for them it's so exciting because they're just feasting loading up for the hibernation yeah you'll see bears that are so fat that's why they talk about like i've seen experts look at those bears and be like see that bear right there we could go slap the shit out of that bear he wouldn't do anything look how fat he is. Look how full he is. He's content. He wouldn't, he wouldn't look at us. Like, like, he

can't eat another bite of salmon. Look at it. That's a risky hobby to slap this shit out of bears. Yeah, you look fat. I'm going to bully you. Turns out you bully the skinny ones. I'm glad we don't have bear here. Like, like, we've got those pussy-ass black bear, but I'm glad we don't have, like, throughout my childhood, I was in the woods. And like, the idea of being in the woods was something they could have killed me. I'm glad that doesn't exist here. Black bear could kill you. It wouldn't, though.

It won't, but they don't have strength. It's like a dog or like a person, though. Like, you just know they won't. But like a grizzly bear, it'd be like, hey, what are you? You look tasty and it'll just fucking kill you. Or a polar bear, even worse. You're just like, they look at you as food. At least grizzly bears have the common decency to like look at you and be like,

what's the deal? Are you food? are you not? I'm a little scared of you but I'm hungry. Black bears are just pussies, you're right. Polar bears are the I think the titans of the bear world is there any, yeah, we've talked about this. They're definitely the biggest. Yes, yeah. Is there ever a bigger

bear? Yeah, it was that giant thing. Yeah, yeah, we talked about that huge thing. 10,000 years ago during while we were crossing the bearing straight from Eurasia into North America, we'd have had to contend with those. And I bet there's, you say it's lower short-faced cave bear. Oh, I do remember this. Yeah, they're gargantuan. And I bet there are even bigger ones that we just haven't found yet.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. Whenever they find a specimen of something, you're like, was that a little one? Or was that the biggest one ever? You know? I don't like their total confidence when they say, like, the blue whale is the biggest animal to have ever existed. It's like, brother. Like, there's no way we can for sure know that. it's like billions of years on this planet.

Dinosaurs were around for hundreds of millions of years. There could be something bigger down there. We haven't found yet. The tectonic plates and everything has shifted so much over that time. There could be like whole layers that we just aren't even aware of. I agree we can't know. However, it seems like every time they find a bone, no one ever wants to say, oh, this bone, this is from a raptor,

something we already knew about. They always incentivized to be like this is the orbal of bone of something new, of something big. If there was something bigger than a blue whale, then they would absolutely make any excuse to define something as bigger than a blue whale. We're just not seeing it. I like that point,

because we have been hoodwinked a few times by the dino people where they do find like one bone and it's a guy trying to make a name for himself. And he's like, this is actually the sickest animal that's ever existed. And then 20 years later, some other guys like, no, it's like part of a really gay animal we already knew about like that.

That's what it was. Sorry. Yeah. So we need to hold those people. We need to hold the dino people's feet to the fire. The same way we're holding NASA's feet to the fire now, getting us back to the moon. I hope we make some new animals or bring back some old ones.

I'm looking forward to that. I want to see a mammoth. Yeah. I want to see a mammoth. That would be fucking cool. Mammoth is a top tier one side. Sabre tooth cat. That's what I'm going for.

I couldn't get my head all Siberian husky. Those are actually around. They're like a big uterus. tube following. I had one of those toys. I had a saber tooth tiger toy that I would make fight a rhino toy when I was a very young kid. And I always made sure the saber tooth tiger won because he was so sick. I remember like a feeling of like maybe my first ever experience, a feeling dejected or like just sad in a way that was intangible and not directly affecting me is when my mom or dad or whoever told me that saber tooth tigers were gone. There wasn't a way to see

them at the zoo, they're never coming back and being like, then why would you even introduce me to the concept of something that I like so much that I do this? Yeah, those were great. We should definitely not make new animals until we've brought back all the old ones we like.

Mammoths, saber-toothed tigers. I want not Bigfoot, but whatever the thing, Gigantapithecus, whatever the thing is that like we think might have been ancient Bigfoot, that would be a cool one to bring back. Kyle, what kind of new animals are you looking for. I want, like, fatty, delicious fish that, that, that, like, are stupid. Like, like, I want

a useful animal, like, like, like, something we can eat. Yeah, there's, there's a, there's too many smart fish out there. I want to, like, love, waited by the fish. I want to, like, just, just love hooks and nets. They just be that all they already do. They already love it. They swim off with ten holes in their cheeks and go, fucking next time. Next time it's going to go. old gills way. Honestly, I want to make dogs live a long time. I think that's the thing. There was that drug that was supposed to come out a couple years ago that was supposed

to do that. Maybe it did. But I would want to make my dog like a little bit smarter, but not too much, too smart. I don't want him talking. That's too smart. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be dumb enough to have a really high opinion of me. Like that's essential in a dog. Yes.

That's a big thing. And you can't have them talking because like you're getting dressed in front of dog he's going to be like you wouldn't believe how much fatter he is then he looks in that who are you talking to are you on facebook live what the fuck you guys are selling me on this like shouldn't what if we made it so women couldn't talk hear me out hear me out that's what Donald Trump did all right well we'll start with Megan women not able to vote and we'll work backwards from there back to the chorus representations of speech

It would be that meme where like every building looks like the Seattle Space Needle and there's flying cars. We're on the moon. The moon has oceans. Speaking of what women are good at, have you seen these Sydney Sweeney pictures where she basically wore like the thinnest piece of fabric all time to go traips around with her giant perky? Somehow so giant. Somehow so perky. Is it a Halloween? costume? I missed the core. No, no, it's just her

like, here you go. She went to the variety power of women event. There you go. I got you, just all taken care of here. This is the whole slide show. Oh, yeah. Just, just big old giant fat titties. Huge fan. Shout out.

Oh, just big old fatties. Just they look heavy. They look heavy. And how are they? I mean, there's no support. still just pop right there big fan

I've never seen a film or I don't know what her voice sounds like huge she was the perfect woman I've never heard her talk I don't watch any I'm pretty sure she's an actress I have no idea what she's ever been in

she was in that show Kyle always rips on me for euphoria I think she was in that I mean she must be my guess would be like 26, 27. That's probably how long she's been around in the... She looks older in the face

to me. That's why I asked. I haven't looked at her face yet. I'm sorry. 28. 28. 5.3. A little fucker. I didn't know. She's all boobs if she's 5'3.

But anyway, big time shout out to her. That's great. I saw a bunch of frumpy looking women at the same event doing that thing that you see. like that classic Marilyn Manson or not Marilyn Manson where that woman is like smaller tited but still hot

and then looking over like this fucking whore at Marilyn Monroe's tits saw that again. It's Jane Mansfield not Marilyn Monroe but same sentiment oh sure it didn't know but you know the picture I'm talking about regardless but she was pissing off all the other ladies

it was called the Power of Women event and it's like that's the power of women Jamie Lee Curtis was there with her big old saggies but she covered them up with like a big old flowery like a little type thing on the front

I saw her in this other thing just like like she's done nude scenes so I know what they look like she's like 75 now and they grew like eight cup sizes or something they're fucking garganty one

they grew I haven't seen her lately but she aged well like well she's 75 now but I just thought it like 60 she looked better than most 60 year olds you don't think so

maybe I'm like off. How did you... Yeah, I guess so. Hang on. I got a good photo for you. How did she get bigger tits from the age of like 50 to 75? I think she gained some weight.

But like, she used to be like... That's good way. If you look at her in I think trading places, which is where Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd, I think, switch places. This is the whole like Wall Street tycoon type movie. But she plays a prostitute in that. And she's just like as thin and fit and big-titted as you can be. but here she is now like those are they've grown she they've just they have grown they were

not that big when she was 25 and 30 good for her that's how she's staying relevant just big heavy hangers I mean those must be most of the weight of the waist by now she's like that's where I'll be that's I'll be their way that's where I'll be that's perfect Taylor because that's where I'll be I don't care how old Jamie Lee Curtis is. I'm getting after it. You only have to move four inches from licking clit to suck a nip. I'm a rubber nipple on her clip.

She's going to love it. She's going to be like, oh, even for my and me and my experience, this is ghastly. What he's doing to me? Gassily. Yeah. But shout out to Siddy, Sweeney. She's great. What's a movie she's been in that I may have, could watch?

I can tell you. She was in Madam Webb, I think. Like that dreadful Spider-Man rip-off. No idea what that is. Never heard of it. Yeah, exactly. That's nothing. If Woody hasn't heard of something in the Marvel adjacent universe, then it doesn't exist.

I think maybe Sony did it. I'm not sure. Madam Webb flopped big time. No, nobody cares what she actually does. Everybody cares about the big old titties. I wonder. Oh, I bet in the actual. ad world she makes a lot. I'm like, where does she get paid from? Who's paying her?

And her ads are, like she did that jeans ad maybe? Didn't Levi or something? That was a big thing. Yeah. Rangler, Levi. American Eagle, you're right. Yeah. Couldn't have been that great of an ad and I couldn't remember the company. But like, I bet they paid her a shit ton. Yeah. She's, she's clearly smart enough or has an agent smart enough being like, hey, you're 28. This kind of shit doesn't last. Like, you're not going to be 38 getting these sorts of. You better start investing in R-Seed race tracks. You better start buying an ordinately expensive, pretend race cars. Yeah, you'll need a skid-steer plan for the future. Something else you're going to want to do is completely ruin your yard. Just destroy it. Make it so it can a real salt-the-earth kind of situation where the people who buy that property from you are going to have to bring in 50 industrial dumpsters to remove all the ramps.

built. Have you seen that subreddit Zillow Gone Wild? I have. I don't look at it much, but I love it. I follow a Twitter account called Zillow Gone Wild, and I'm sure it posts the same stuff, these weird houses or these like inordinate crazy accounts. Or like really good

deals, like or seemingly good deals with a small catch. It's like hey, would you like to have a $600,000 mansion? Only problems. And then it's something goofy or it's... The rapper who used to live there hasn't kept it up, it's a mess, it's

whatever. There's a body somewhere. They never found the last owner, and technically it is, but we don't think he'll turn up. We're pretty sure that's what that smell is in the attic. They often have like wacky, wacky design choices. They'll be stuck in a decade

from 60, 70 years ago or something. I'm often intrigued by those, though, because they'll be really good deals, but it's like, I don't know. Do you want to live a joke house? Do I want a house where none of the walls are flat?

All the rooms are circles. This is, uh, uh, man, it was too good of a deal. And now I'm living in fucking Peewee's playhouse. And I got this 3D printed homes. Yes. Yeah. It's kind of a neat concept. I wonder if it'll go somewhere. If people don't know,

they use a special kind of concrete and just sort of pour it on in layers and build the walls up. I don't know how they do, like the plumbing and the electricity exactly but they do it of course and apparently the walls are serve as better insulation than the typical walls which is like drywall and siding with some pink insulation in between i saw that too i watched that whole video and then i saw like a couple different trades people and who knows maybe this is like tactical job security but they were like

i mean this looks awesome but what this would really amount to is a large team of people you know standing around waiting to go get in and do the the rebar placement and the insulation and this and that like this isn't really that much faster because it like makes it so nothing can operate or happen while that thing is printing whereas i guess usually because they're doing it like you know do this section then this section then this section that like the amount of time is actually faster the traditional way but who knows maybe it just saved so much manpower over time right like Like, faster is only one of the measures. The other is pricing quality.

It's like, you know, I could give up speed. What the fuck do I care? If the quality is better and the price is better, let's go. Yeah. They look weird. They, they, from the outside, they look very odd. Wait, what do they? I don't know if I've seen one finished.

I only saw the concrete, like, that thing that like prints it out and like a roll. So, like, check this out. That one does look weird. Oh, well, I. Okay, this must have been like a like a demo or something because there's no way they would want them all to look like this. It does look kind of crappy.

I mean, all of them that I'm looking at here look just like that. Okay, well, that's... I'm sure you could put some sort of like outside flashing or something. Like, you could put vinyl siding on it or something, but it looks like shit to me, if I'm being honest. Like, if I didn't terrible my house

looked like at all, if I was just like, oh, would you believe this is $150,000? you'd be like, yes, I absolutely believe that was $150,000. Can you show this one, Zach? It, this one, I mean, it's obviously 3D printed and it doesn't look normal, but it's just different, not necessarily much worse. I don't think it looks quite as nice. It would look better, right?

Am I crazy? Like, do you see this and say, oh, unacceptable? If I, if you, if this had a lot of advantages, I could overlook the look. If you painted it dark gray, so you see that, I don't know what that is on the left. It's hard to tell. You see that structure, that's that vertical structure. If the rest of it were that dark gray, I think it would look better.

Something about that light gray looks like. I don't know a fire pit based on the chair in front of it. I'm not positive. You don't think you would enjoy a random gray jutting out piece of concrete to your house? It looks depressing to me. And I'm looking at that house in the background. Like, man, I wish I had that house instead. Like, I would always be, you would come out.

And they'd be like, how's the bunker tree? you. Like, fuck you, Mark. Fuck you. And painting that wouldn't last for a hundred years. Painting that is not going to look good at all because it's going to like pool in little places because there's irregularities in the, I don't know. Spray it. It would still be textured looking on the outside.

I'm okay with the texture. Can you show us some of the interiors on this one, Zach? That probably matters part of me than the exterior. You can do a nice interior inside of a shipping container, though. not really yes really how high is the ceiling on a shipping container like six they stack them together

you haven't seen shipping container houses so shipping containers I don't know what they cost now that used to be 10 grand you can make a really nice house out of shipping containers better than this I would prefer shipping container house to this really

well I don't know about the other ups and downs I hear shipping container I don't think it's a hundred year house I don't think the insulation insolative value oh that's hideous what an aesthetically ugly house yeah I don't know why they combine two things there

but when I saw the interiors the first two pictures Zach showed I was like I could live there like there that's that's fine that's nice I think maybe my standards are low but it seems nice to me maybe I don't know ceiling seemed a little low yeah compared to perfect but I'm hoping it has some other upside

like it's not just worse like hey same price slower to build but uh bring that picture back up is this totally fit is there like little digital assistants here because number one why did they use flooring vinyl planks on the ceiling and number two why is the can lighting so random it is a bit random why would they put a floor vent on the ceiling there on the i guess does they use floor air conditioning i mean but it's also a foot away from the side of the what usually you want a little bit closer and then look at look at the weird lighting is that even can lighting are these yeah assuming that is where the air comes out you would put it on the opposite side of the intake right so it doesn't look like weird

placing to me it's in a corner of the room hopefully the intake is in the opposite corner and then you just get the air turning the shipping container that's the most normal this this that's flooring vinyl panel on the ceiling. Look at that. I don't know that that's flooring. You can't tell. You look, they didn't put floor on the floor. It's concrete.

I don't like a concrete floor. I don't think I'd live well on that. I don't even like hardwood that much. I get that the whole world values hardwood more. My house is hardwood everywhere. But I do that thing where I like wipe the crumbs off my feet on the way into bed and like carpets were nicer they were not easy to keep clean

but just a nicer thing to live on I agree you have a robo vac no well actually we had two but they didn't really get much work done those things do not do a great job Kyle has a good one maybe maybe you're better than ours

I just use a regular I don't even know what brand some like Dyson off brand vacuum I got a I got my girlfriend a good robo vac for Christmas a couple years ago. I think it was $1,200. It does a really good job. Like, like, it, it gets up in the morning before we do, and it cleans the whole house. And there's never crumb, crumbies on the floor from, from, like, whatever, the dog's tracking dirt in. Mine's spread around dog shit in my kitchen

once. Mine won't do that. Just spread it around. It recognizes issues like that and avoids them. Like, it's, I think that's been meme to death, those robobacks getting dog shit and they're just smearing it all over the whole house because I can't imagine coming home to, oh you did I was going to say I'm imagining that happening to you and you're like yeah I don't have to happen

it's pretty rough it was basically just like a line of shit around my kitchen that looked like when you hit the right thumb stick on dead space we're just going to show a path of shit in those weird angular lines

that it drives it's like just guiding you to the bedroom just guiding me away Thankfully, it wasn't on the carpet. It was just the hardwood area. That's much easier to claim. But yeah, I agree with you, Woody, because everyone's like, oh, hardwood, this and that and the other.

And I don't know. The, like, foot, because I've got hardwood in my dining room and then I've got that, like, vinyl shit in my kitchen. I pick up less of those, like, crummy nonsense things on my feet walking around barefoot in the kitchen than I do on the hardwood. Like, it just must be, like, little bits of wood that are coming off over time. Actual carpet is comfy. the audio in that room is so much less abusive.

I wish we had carpeted kitchen floors. As obviously stupid in ideas, that sounds, it would be more pleasant for a week. That's the only place you don't want car. Well, the bathrooms too. Or I remember a family member. I don't remember if it was an aunt or uncle or, no, it must have been one of those like great, great aunts or something

or great, great uncle when I was a little kid. and they had like a carpet thing on their toilet seat. I've seen that, yeah. Yeah. And I remember having the presence of mind even at like six to be like, this is vile. Like this is so gross because I know what I'm doing in here right now is probably no better or worse than what's happening in here.

And there's no way this carpet isn't like grabbing little bits of poo and bring it. Yes. yeah maybe not that aggressive but like you would lift that seat up there wasn't carpet on top of the seat but there was carpet on the toilet seat itself okay as obviously dirty as that's about to get it's nice right now that's what it was I didn't I maybe I blocked it out but I don't remember seeing a dark stain on the rear of it oh my God that's awful basically what it was and I was like Man, I got to be, I got to be, like, pinpoint accurate with my poops. That thing looks homemade.

It looks terrible. Not again. Oh, Zach, I'm loving this. This is hilarious. These are all installation. Well, not all of them, but this looks like an installation photo. This is not a six-week-old photo. No, and that's terrible.

Pink carpet. You're not going to believe this. Is that the tub? I think that's a... Is that a whirlpool or something? Yes. Joozy? There must be.

It's a bathtub with carpeting on the side. Holy God. Even the toilet brush is carpeted. The trash can is. All right. The toilet paper spank. This isn't real. That's what it took you to realize this isn't real?

I'm not sure it's not real. I just don't know what it is. I don't know what this is. Well, it's a very useful diagram. If you'll look at K, you'll see that there's a, What is that a toilet brock with a very, very short handle.

Don't love that. Don't love that. I want a long handle. I want to be plunging down into there from a distance. Man, this is from a different time. Look at the pink tub and the pink. This is a woman's bathroom. No, no.

I mean, like, is this like a 50s thing, a 60s thing? Like, what is, a 70s thing? Is this a hold-off? Like, what is this a hold-over from? I would think 60s. Me too. 60s into 70s kind of thing. Yeah, the carpeting everywhere and the sunken living rooms and sort of.

Dude, sunken living room, carpet everywhere. It looks so dated. I get it. Even the plants. If it was an Airbnb, I bet you'd freaking dig it. You'd be like, this is kind of cool. Like a little conversation pit, a social area. The audio in here is so pleasant compared to the abuse of hardwoods and drywall.

I'm accustomed to. It'd be dope. But yeah, no one likes it anymore. It'd be a cool place to be for a weekend. What? We've gone far back in time with this one. My God, look at all that wood. Look at our glasses, there's a whole curtain blocking off the tub, which is odd.

You're going to get that curtain. You're going to get that curtain wet as hell every time you know, and step out and the carpet's going to be all waterlog. Look, this is absurd. This is, this is, look at the dress. This is from, like, the 1800s or some shit. This is some Laura Ingalls Wilder looking shit.

I don't, I do not picture carpet when I picture like the Laura Ingalls Wilder. This is a time that never existed. Yeah, this time did not exist. This is some sort of make believe. Yeah, this is a,

the top part missing, I bet. The only, who are these people? I do my classes. Is this a naked chick in the bathtub hanging out with, it's a child? Oh,

it's a child. Okay. my bad mother and her child I was like these two women just chilling you gotta pop your glasses on to see oh that one is hot

hang up in the fuzzy thing she's like seductively putting her arm over the side of the tub it's not what I can't see yeah go to a new photo it's a good idea this is clearly

a Barbie doll like dream house bathroom this isn't even real this wallpaper makes me look for the secret numbers and letters on the colorblind test. Why have a dual vanity with no space? Because it's not real.

I know it's not real. It's a mystery in and Barbie. It doesn't. It is a miniature. This one's real. And now this one, it's like, why don't have a double vanity? Oh, and that wallpaper's fucking horrid. Oh, there's a makeup area to the left of the sink. Maybe this is a thing I appreciate.

A little vanity. Yeah, that could be. They sit there and doll themselves up. Yeah. Which is awful. I haven't had makeup on since that dance competition I did. And I just, I don't have any patience. I think video games have ruined my attention span. We're like 30 seconds into the process. And I'm like, how close are we to being done? And it's not a ton of makeup you had to have applied. It's kind of just the eyes, right? No, she paled my whole face. And she's like, I cannot contain this glow of yours. She's like, it just shines through. I was supposed. to be like bloodless and pale but this is me you're just too

vivacious you can't be shut down with that weak makeup that works for women yeah I don't like the carpets in the bathrooms I like carpets almost every other place I like it to visit I would I would you know when in Rome I would

I would do that but like the because I have a couple friends who did like renovations and they pulled out like all the carpet everywhere because that's like carpet just isn't as in vogue now and in my head I always am like oh that's such a mistake like carpets in like the homey part of the house the like your shoes are off you're watching a movie you're relaxing you're hanging out with your friends your family like living rooms bedrooms those should always be carpeted even if you don't want other stuff

carpet my house is so unfriendly right now when we got rid of our elderly dogs we got rid of four couches and just about every rug in here. And we've only replaced two couches so far. Not as many of the rugs. And it is just an echo chamber of abusive anything. I don't know.

Oh, is the air fryer going? I hate this whole room. It's terrible. So now you're getting roped into more renovations, more little ones? Not renovations. Look, the geriatric dog soiled some of these things. So they all had to go.

That's fair. Yeah. Yeah, I would hold off on getting new rugs until the new dogs are 100% house trained, though, eh? That's smart. Yeah. Unless you just plan on getting them twice. Maybe something really cheap for the kitchen, because the audio really is. Like, I leave the room. I've been watching a guy on YouTube clean, filthy rugs. That's the level of entertainment that I've fallen to these days.

Do you think it's fake? That's depressing. Looks real to me. He's like, I think they put the dirt there. Are the rug so dirty you can't even see the pattern? No. Like, I haven't seen that, but I have seen where, like, I think the, I thought of it because he said the rug belonged to someone who had incontinent dogs or like old dogs or something. And he's like, he's washed it for like the fifth time and he's running that squeegee over it and just black water is coming out. Every time he goes over it, just more black water.

And after a while, I'm just like, how much was this rug that we're going through all this rigomer row? It's a dirty drug intentionally for a video. Taylor, I think you're on to something. I'm not saying that's what Kyle saw, but the ones that I saw are often from power washing porn. And they use the power washer to wash out the rug. And I'm 90. The idea is that these rugs were kept in front of like a, I don't know, say the beginning of a Walmart or some convenience store or whatever. and they got a ridiculous amount of foot traffic.

I don't buy it. They are solid black. I think they put the dirt there for the purpose of the video and then just went viral with it for whatever value that has. Yeah. I've watched those same videos where it's like, oh, there's a weird shaped rug that's so caked in dirt and grime that it's like an inch taller than it otherwise would be.

And then some guy gets to scrubbing. And it clearly takes like 50 chemical. in two to four hours of him doing it through the speed, you know, uh, progression. And then at the end, it's like, oh, that was a rug of Sonic's head. Like what? Why are we saving this? Like, why, why bother saving this sonic's head rug? Oh, this is a guy who bought the cheapest rug available on the internet, then artificially dirtied it to make a fake video. Zach, can you show this without showing much of it? Like, like, don't play it, but just like show the beginning, the middle in the end perhaps like three images hopefully we don't get copyright claim for that but

this one looked pretty extreme who has a rug that ever gets this bad I don't know I think of it like the the yard service videos where they go and they find the messiest most disgusting yards they can find and then clean them up like like they you don't even know there's a sidewalk there until they like shovel it all up and they do the work for free I think I think you're right he is advertising as service, so I don't know. Is he? Okay. Yeah, a lot of these are for the... So look at that.

You can hardly even see that it exists. Yeah, Zach, you're doing a perfect job. Oh, we put the green shit on there. And then at the end, it's just... Also, it doesn't look old. That's him growing it away now. At the end, it doesn't look old. Like, I would think that a carpet that solved that much wear would be faded or...

They shave it. they use a, they, they, they, uh, razor machine and they shave off like the top, I don't know how much, a millimeter or something of the fabric. And so you get to new fabric. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I've never gotten a rug clean by a professional. We throw them bitches away. Of course, our rugs have never been more than a couple hundred dollars. Maybe he's yeah. I don't know what like a good rug costs. Like if you've got a $2,000 rug, I could like, but then why is your $2,000 rug black with filth? Like, Yeah. No, a good rug is expensive as hell. Like you can get the crappy ones for like a couple hundred bucks if it's like an area rug. The actual nice ones like those big comfortable fluffy ones you'd want in like a nice living room. Those can be like thousands of dollars for like a fucking 10 foot by 10 foot rug. It's crazy expensive. And they get like the prices are so exponential. You get you know how it works. We've all bought a TV and you're like yeah, well this one's 48 inches. This one's 55. It sounds close but 55 is like twice as big.

probably not but like it's a lot bigger than you think um rugs are that too so the pricing goes like oh i need a this one's an eight by 10 and this one's a 12 by 10 they sound close right but the second one's like double the price yeah because you are getting then you do the little bit you get mad for a second and then you do the math and you're like yeah well i guess it is i guess it is much bigger than i thought it was doing these these things yeah yeah rugs are expensive as help which is why i would not buy a really nice rug ever unless i knew for a fact i was like unless i was like elderly age and it's like i know no rampant dogs or like random children or like people are going to be running on top of this rug like it's got to be safe so it would be infuriating to spend like

the one thing i've only experienced when i like visit places that i would like in a house is heated floors that's always so fucking nice like um i have been a few places where the tiles in the bathroom were heated, and that's just so nice to not have a cold tile to stand on in the morning. Oh, I thought you said the towels. There are some towels? It's like, wow. Oh, anybody can get a towel warmer. I'm sure those are on Amazon, but these are the tiles in the floor, like the, but I've also been in a place where I think the hardwood was heated.

I think in Colorado, we stayed in a place that that was like that because the out in the garage, they had this whole network of copper pipes and like filters and a pump and stuff. And one of them exploded while we were staying there. So when you open the door to the garage, it's just spraying, boiling water. It was great. It was one of those things where it's like, I'm so glad I don't know in this house. This is a problem. Yeah, I don't think I'd want heated floors again. I mean, it seems nice.

But there are a couple issues. Like, one, if you keep a messy room. So I was on, depending on how do you count it, like the third or fourth floor of my house? And my father was right underneath me. And if I had my clothes all over the floor as a teenager might be apt to do, he'd come up there like sweating. Like, all your heat is coming down. I got the heat turned up because I'm cold, but I've insulated my floor.

It's just baking my father. He didn't like that. You lived on the third or fourth floor and your floor was heat. This seems like something that could be predicated. it. You're heating every layer of the house and then you poor dad on the second floor is just... You can't have carpet. Carpets

do the same thing, so you have to have some sort of hardwood floor where the heat can rise up and throw it. I hate carpet. That's crazy. Carpet's so comfy, it's so homie. Rugs would do it too. The downsides. The downsides of carpet. Or they get messy and they hold dirt

and they get stained. Just vacuum. Every two weeks vacuum. Or you have a bunch of dollars. weeks like it's it's a problem like like every blanket in my house like every like uh couch cover is always covered in fur every day i go around with that sticky roller thing i have a giant one and just roll the fuck out of everything but you do have an indoor farm cooking in the Kyle household I do I do at least Toby doesn't shed um and Murphy doesn't very much but Memphis sheds a lot she's like a shepherd type thing and she sheds all the time she'll get the her hair will be so loose

you can see it like falling out of her and you can like pluck her and it's just these big wads of just hair that are falling off her all the time if you go for another poodle mix next time i will probably will then two poodle mixes and a pomeranian isn't going to be a crazy shed house like you're gonna yeah good i like what i've got i'll either get another pomeranian or another doodle mix or maybe a pommadoodle and just that would be great if i if i had a pomeranian a doodle you'd have your own little like evolutionary tree like if you're in your house out evolves up that would be good i think you should do i think you should get like a little doodle mix like a cavapoo something like that's what a vaugh did those are they got a such good dogs a miniature ossie doodle which is a really those are like the opposite of a cavapoo and that like an ozidoodle is like you got to be working that thing out all day every day Because it wants to, it's a shepherding dog. It's like buying a border collie.

If that thing isn't running around all the time, it's going to start tearing shit up in your house. You get like a Cavalier King Charles poodle mix. That thing wants to do nothing but to be like your snuggle buddy. Like a little bit of exercise every day and he's good to go. Yeah, Toby just wants to chill. He just loves to cuddle up in bed and just nap all fucking day. And he loves his electric blankets.

Since it's gotten cold, I've turned my electric blankets on. And it's a bad idea. Like it's almost like a drug that you don't want. to dip your toes into because like normally after I sleep eight hours I'm out of bed I'm like I don't want more sleep I don't want to lay there anymore I I really don't want to curl up and like because the bed's kind of chilly I like to keep the house really cold I keep the fan going but these electric blankets incubate me like a little premature baby so I'm just like oh yeah I could do some more sleep

yeah let's turn that blanket up to six and I'm just cooking in there I wake up just covered in sweat. It's too much. That sounds awful. Like I I could not sleep under an electric blanket. I run too hot. I can understand how not everyone would like a weighted blanket. But I haven't used a weighted blanket in a while. They're really warm and it's like October. So it's been warm in North Carolina for a while. But in the winter when I get that weighted blanket, the first time I got a weighted blanket, I was like in heaven. I was, like, I get to keep this.

This is my life now? This is so amazing. I'm just being smushed. I like it a lot. My grandma, like, got me a weighted blanket probably four or five years ago. And I remember, like, lifting that package and being like, holy fuck, this is a blanket. It's like 35 pounds. It's so weird.

Not that it's objectively, it's super heavy, but, like, you know, you grab something that you think is going to be light and then it's not. It, like, shocks you. And I remember, like, laying under it and not hearing the lore and being like, oh, this is nice. I feel, like, pretty comforted right now. And then, like, my brother's on his phone where he's like, yeah, it turns out that, like, people on the autism spectrum disorder, like, really, really like this a ton. And I'm like, suddenly I'm like, this isn't for me. This isn't for me.

I'm not like that. Maybe I am. I am who I am. The fucking blanket is dope. They're nice. I remember, like, I'd, like, have my weighted blanket on. I'd, like, kick my legs up on my sofa with the reclining part. And then I'd, like, get up to go pee or grab a soda or whatever.

And then, like, when you would drop the blanket, it'd be like, thud. Like, it was like a real weight to it dropping. Some people don't like it. Like, in particular, I've heard people. say they don't they make like a little foot tent you know when their feet stick up laying on your back and like it the way that it like comes straight down and touches what's the front of your ankle called i don't even know but like that arch of your foot they just sort of it's almost like your vacuum sealed under that thing and some people don't like that vibe oh that's kind of what i like

where the chicks get vacuum sealed i you've shown me that i've seen it kyle yeah you have we've all seen it you've shown us the videos have you seen it where the women wrestling at the end the winner gets to bang the loser you know how like naked ladies in porn is great imagine a woman whose tits you can't even see under black wrap that's being vacuum it's like yeah they've got like a bed they got like a bed that they can vacuum seal them in it looks like you're suve eating a chicken breast but it's a whole person no that would make me panic i would be i would be so scared if if i i would have to be the person on the outside i could not be the person sucked down to the bed and even if the other person

person was like, suck me down to the bed with this pressure hose, I would be scared where I'm like, this person's going to die. There's no way they're having fun in there. I can't imagine having fun in there. Like, I gotta pull them out. I gotta save them. And then she probably be pissed. Oh, I found what, here we go. This is the link. Yeah, this is the good stuff right here. So definitely not into this either. I would be terrified. I would vacuum seal some bitch and she would die on me. Like, how are you, you don't even get to be a part of the, sex occasion anymore because it's like you can't

you can't have sex anymore she's all sucked up well if you look at this link here like her mouth is exposed we could probably make some other openings you can't that's how you're gonna kill that bitch you plug her mouth with your dick

and while she's all sucked up I think that's the breeze hole these models I don't know are built well as you scroll down I think this might be Sidney they've got vacuum sealed here all they make not only the beds but bags just a bag you put a person

in and then vacuum seal, literally suveed them. The idea of this stresses me out the way like thinking about being in the open sea, not able to see land does. Like you can't, like you're totally

removed from reality. You're all sucked in. You can't move. You can't escape. You can't pee. Yeah, I wouldn't be into this either. I wouldn't want to get vacuum sealed. I would be pretty afraid. See, I think I could react like you guys are describing. I could also react

like I did to the weighted blanket. Just weighted blanket on steroids. This is wonderful. Suck it more. Yeah. That's all I have. Yeah, I'm glad I'm not into anything that requires a giant latex bag and a vacuum

motor. No. No, you shouldn't have to like find power tools. and things. Only reciprocal saws and dildos. That's it. That thing goes too fast. The reciprocal saw

you put a penis on goes too fast, really? Yeah, it goes way too fast. It goes way too fast. Stop being a little bit. See about it, all right? So there was this one couple that was using one. I'm pretty sure it was a man and a woman. And so they made their own. So if you don't know, they make

an attachment so that you can attach this thing to your reciprocating saw that a dildo will then attach to on the end. They cheaped out. They didn't have the $15. So they took a reciprocating saw with a blade on it and stuck the blade into a dildo. Maybe they heated it up so it would melt, but it somehow or another they got it inserted in the dildo. So while he's banging her, it's slipping a little on the inside of the dildo because it's a saw blade. And it saws through it after a while and saws into her pussy. He saw her. He sawed her pussy with a recital. I mean, no one could have

seen that coming. Everyone saw it coming. And my fear is that he had the wood blade, not the metal blade, which is just infinitely worse if you've used one of these things before. I picture a Makito when I'm jerking off. But it's just a, it's a huge error in judgment because I bought the one for, I bought that attachment. And when I was, whenever we sold that last house, the movers were outside and the, the

old McKito was sitting out there on the front porch with that attachment still on it. Not the dildo, but the thing the dildo goes on to. and he was like, that's a weird adapter? What kind of blade goes into that? I'm like, I don't remember. I just picked it up and walked away. It had nothing. I didn't even have a good lie.

I don't remember what that is. Oh, that's horrible. Some poor lady got her pussy sought up. Pretty sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah, you need, we need to have safe. It goes too fast anyway.

What you mean when you talk about? safe sex. Don't put fucking saws in your clan. Or if you do, get the right hardware. You know, don't, don't Jerry... You said you weren't using saws. I used the saw. Just not the saw blade. Like where the blade goes on,

this thing goes there instead. And it's an adapter so that you can put a dildo on a fucking McKita reciprocating saw. But he just stuck the blade into a dildo and saw it his girlfriend in half. Jesus. I just saw a clip looking over here on

Twitter that Trump did the put the candy on the head of the trick-or-treater again. Do you remember

that from his first term where there was that kid in like that blow-up minion costume and the kid

was like holding out like hoping for it and he balanced the candy on top of the

minion kid's head. He just did that to someone dressed like a marshmallow he just

just laid it on top of him goes through and Melania having a good laughing out candy to our, to our fat children. Was it a minion this time? No, it was a guy in a, a mushroom, not mushroom, I'm sorry,

marshmallow costume here, I'll link it. I don't know what the character, maybe he just was a spicy marshmallow with a bunch of lights on it. Or no, there's a, there's a DJ that has a marshmallow head. I don't remember what his name is, maybe just marshmallow. Yeah, the gym marshmallow had. Yeah, I know they go. Yeah, there you go.

You get that kid dressed up and he's just laying the candy on top. Fresh back home from his Asian tour where he accomplished nothing. That was great. Yeah, he got China to agree to buy like the exact same amount of soybeans. They bought last year, next year. But this year he has to bail the farmers out. And the farmers still have to pay all the tariffs on their farm equipment and parts. Is that shocking to you that China?

buys soybeans like they feel like a place that makes fuck fucking loads of soybeans you know like I always think of Asia with tons of soybeans it doesn't shock me but I've always heard that we're really good at making a lot of soybeans

per acre I think that maybe that's an advanced technique like clearly it's cheaper for them to import them than it is to grow them themselves so like maybe they maybe there's an overwhelming demand for soy in China. I don't know. They said something like 20, was it 20 million tons? Something like that. It was something like that. It was some gargantuan amount that you can't even

picture. Like I don't know what 20 million tons looks like. Is that one boat or is it a thousand boats full? I have no idea. Yeah. That's one of those numbers that's so big. It would have to be more than one boat. Maybe. I don't know. The boats are so big now. They're huge boats. I saw boat full of coal the other day and it was so much coal you can't fathom that that much coal even exists and it was just one boatload it was so much coal yeah well that's great so we owned china into buying the same amount of beans and but i mean he's having a good time with the candy kids so he went to japan i saw him with uh that lady japanese prime minister she seemed very happy to meet don't know i don't know anything about her but she seemed to be stoked probably

latch. He's not getting shot by some sort of handmade electro-shock gun. Oh, I love that. Oh, Woody, a little cape flutter? I love to see it. Oh, you're muted. That's great. Love that. He went to Jackie's

cape guy. Woody always does the best job popping in in the background and then kind of just stunting, showing the whole costume. do what are you still muted for us shit i was i was trust me they were all bangers it was a bunch of winners a bunch of dubbies you guys i'm not gonna never know that i'm not gonna you'll never know yeah yeah you guys killed it with the costumes that's hilarious that you

spent what i imagine is not a negligible amount of money on a tiger only to receive the probably the only large cat you didn't want to receive it's 80 bucks 80 dollars yeah that's a expensive dog toy. It's a big cat. It is. Dude, the people at fucking Spirit Halloween are getting bold as hell. $65 to dress up like Charzard. Wow. Well, that is a rip-off.

This ensemble was like 26 or something like that. The shirt was separate. I just searched Tiger's shirt. You just had that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you have kids, this is a fun parenting tip. But like, that Halloween store, what did you call it? Spirit Halloween?

yeah yeah the season like 80% off in November like a lot so 80% off is close to free we got a whole chest full of Halloween costumes that the kids dressed up in all the time hope was constantly a dragon just running around the house and it's fine that's great that's a good move because yeah they they have on their front sign like last day November 3rd but I've never gone to a spirit Halloween after October 31st like this is what I got to do I got to to go solidify some future picks for my costumes yeah yeah there's a money saved I was just blowing money you're saving it well I do the same like I walk through the different aisles there and I go I always get to like the Pokemon aisle and I'm like well this is kind of fun like this is this is this is kind of fun for me I love today I had the choice between spending 4999 to look like Evie or 6499 or whatever it was to look like Charzard. And that

was an easy decision because Evie is very, very gay compared to Charzard. You guys have no idea. You don't get it. We don't. But do the math. Like a costume that's only 30 bucks is six? Is that what

80% off it is? Yes. That's not a lot. They're just giving it away. We should. It's that or ignore it for a year. And the the employees at Spirit Halloween like I've never seen people care less about like whether you're buying something whether you want something they don't even say words to you while

you're checking out it's like some high school kid that's like it's like you're not even just bad at your job like you're actively rude like you're like you're watching me standing in line the two ladies are checking people out you're looking at your phone There's like five registers here And I'm standing here Like what you think You think I'm dumb enough to think That your dumb ass is like

Oh I gotta respond to this fucking Spirit Halloween corporate email real quick It's like no they they hired you for this Two Week stint Check me out And he had Geneco jeans on Gigantic gene co jeans Bleached blonde hair

Some high school kid Not a fan Disrespectful huh Disrespectful Disrespectful I was waiting like you commands respect A man like a man's respect.

They go, oh, man, this, there's a 34-year-old man in line with a char with a triple-X-L Charzarchist. The legs are something. Sorry, no four excels. That's not what I was going to ask. That guy, Victor Wabiyama or whatever, could wear this. The bottoms are so, there's so much to work with with this. I'm wearing pajama pants. under this. That was an error. Hot as hell. It's hilarious that he

lies about his height and just knocks like two or three inches off. He doesn't want people to know he's really that tall. Well, that makes sense. Like once you're already that tall, you fib a little bit because you're probably always internally battling that battle of like, oh, if I say I'm seven foot seven, everyone's going to go, yeah, of course that guy's good at basketball. He's seven foot seven. But I want to be perceived as a skill guy too. I don't think it's that I think it's that everyone else

who was that tall had short careers riddled with injuries no athletic ability stuff like that he's something different it seems but it's only what is third year we'll see hopefully those guys have a tough time later on

other than Will Chamberlain not Wilt Chamberlain who's the other tall one Kareem Abdul-Jabbar he's not dead he's alive and he walks around without a cane mostly How old is Akeem Elijah on? I've never heard that name. I'm not sure who that is.

Oh, he's a big guy too. Okay. Yeah. We had a great hangout this week. No nudity. But I'm fingers crossed. It's coming. Some solid codename battles.

Some solid code names battles. I love our code names battles. I want to take it to the next level. I want to start a league. I want us to get money involved. We need teams. We need team names. I'll be in charge.

that. I'll be in charge of that. Yeah, we've got other duties for you. You're going to do the uniform. Neither of you guys can name things as well as I do. I can name. Yeah, what were your dog's names? Fuzzy and Teddy. Actually, that's more solid than I

expect. Yeah, and all right, all right, tip of the hat, tip of the hat. That's so funny to like earnestly ask that and then give a genuine like, pretty good. pretty good. I want Taylor in my naming team. Taylor and I, can we share these responsibilities? What do you and I can be on the same team?

Actually, we should probably split the three of us into different teams because even though we are the hosts, we're also higher tier players. We're better at the guessing and the clue giving part. But a lot of that also is because, like, there's people in there, I think, who are a little too shy sometimes to speak up about what they're thinking. and we on our teams kind of provide that role if someone can say it and then we can be the one to be like nope that's good that's good

like this should be listened to don't you know just because he said it quietly doesn't mean ignore it there's more screaming my team he tricked him so yeah I was the spy master so I couldn't talk I couldn't defend my team

against Kyle Sciops and I gave the clue you can vote on word my the words i'm targeting were all clicked up everyone's going and kyle's like i don't know and i forget the details of what he sent them to bass and it wasn't what i wanted and they had some sort of hominin guitar seven steps away thing kyle talked him into it they ended up ending guessing and i wasn't mad that they didn't get my guess because that'll happen

I was mad that they took the other team's advice so earnestly like Kyle's making strong points Kyle's on the other team everything he says is either designed to trick you now or gain your trust to trick you later

those are the only two things he's doing you have to build trust in the early rounds he was right about that other thing I was right about that other thing yeah he was right about that other thing because you already knew it. He wasn't giving you a hint. You were on that word. So he suggested that you do what you were going to do anyway in an effort to build trust. And now a round or two in the future, he's going to cash that in and trick you. Yeah. You're giving away our strategy because

that's that's exactly how you do it is like you on the first turn when they're like, is it this, this or this? You go, guys, it's it's barracuda wave and see. Stop wasting time. You have it. Like, and then you build a little bit of rapport there. And so then when you throw a little nonsense in the mix later, you trick a couple people. Like a police interrogator. Yeah. Yeah.

The name of the game is lying. That's a lot of fun. It's so fun. And it's a little bit of an IQ test. And it's a little bit of a personality test. And people. Experience helps too. Of course.

We're in every game. Every game. And I play at home. And I love it. but we will have people that if they're playing for the first time and they don't we'll give them this whole speech like don't click anything if you don't know what you're doing don't click anything and there's a button that says end guessing and they think that by clicking that they'll be like hands off they won't have they won't have any responsibilities in reality

they're ruining the game for everybody everybody just starts screaming at the new guy I love that moment I wait for that moment every week where the new guys like oh I better end guessing so that no onus is on me and I can't get into any trouble and everybody immediately starts roasting him, Jason, what is your problem? Hey, the new guy ruined it. Can we restart the game? Yeah.

You can see their name. They're trying to be extra like don't touch anything. Oh, by don't touch anything. Clearly they meant touch and guessing in the turn right now. I love those. I love those so much. That's my

I wish there was a way to play that game with strangers without them cheating. but there's no way to do that how much cheating do you think is in our game I think people Google yeah sure people Google but my only concern is if the Clue Master were just directly

DMing someone on their team like red, blue, green, yellow, orange it's all the colors, you know, or whatever just telling them what words that they're going for that's always my because we used to play Trivial Pursuit in there and there was a time where someone clearly cheated and we called him out on it and they admitted it

and then we could never play trivial pursuit again. Oh, yeah, I was at the end. I didn't actually get to use the clue, but we were trying to link skull and ruler. So my word was regicide. And my spymaster partner was like, I think a lot of people won't know what regicide is. A lot of people will definitely look up what regicide.

It's to execute a leader. I think it's a royalty leader. I'm not positive, but I think it's like to execute a king. And anyway, yeah, I was like, I'm totally counting on them cheating. They're going to look up the definition of that word. Somebody will. Yeah, that's great. That's my, that's one of my favorite games. Although I got to say, this new battlefield game, I have fallen in love with. I've played over 100 hours of this shit. I'm playing every day for at least three or four or five hours or something with the guys. It's, it's really good. It's just old school cod. Like, I see that,

like old school battlefield fans aren't super stoked on it they think the maps are too small I think they think the time to kill especially in the battle royale is too fast and they feel like they didn't even ask for a battle royale I'm having a blast I love all of it I like the progression of course I like the progression

because I grinded the fuck out of it I'm level 85 or some shit like we don't even we don't run into a lot of other 85s that haven't clearly boosted or something but the battle royale is out now and the battle royale feels like I don't know, like PubG, Cod War Zone mixed with Call of Duty.

It doesn't feel like a battlefield game to me. Of course, I don't play a lot of battlefield games, but I used to play Battlefield Bad Company, and I've played Battlefield 4, and this don't feel like those games. It doesn't feel clunky or slow. The movement doesn't feel bad like it used to. It feels slick like, like Modern Warfare, too. It feels a lot like Modern Warfare, too, but no bugs. But it has tanks and helicopters and stuff like that in there, and they're a little skill. based and strategy based, unlike killstreaks, which are barely strategy based.

Yeah, the guys who are good at flying the planes and the helicopters completely take over the lobbies they're in. And you'll see them go on 75 and 0 runs, 100 and 0, 200 and oh, like crazy stuff. Do you have any great pilots in your friend group? No, no, I'm probably, that Plexlayer guy, I think he flies Blackhawks in the Air Force or something. I'm probably wrong about half of that, yeah. So he can fly, but I don't think that really makes him an expert at flying in battlefield. I'm pretty good. I'm okay.

I never crash, like, accidentally. I might get shot down. Have you ever crashed on purpose? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've kamikazeed it into a roof full of snipers before. I go up as high as it can, and then I put the nose down, and I bring it screaming into the top of a roof that's covered with snipers with the blades going full. And then I jump out at the last second, so you take, like, no fall.

damage. And then I start spraying all of them that are left alive down. That's great. Wow, just like in war. That is pretty fun. Just like in war. Just yeah, that's how we won war 2. That is. All the helicopter action of World War II, sure. Absolutely. Yeah, Italians.

Yeah, that's how we took down the Italians with a helicopter strike. Did they exist at all in World War II? I think they did. Are you sure? Vietnam was the earliest of helicopter warfare. Oh, the Korea.

Korea, actually. They had those little, remember Mash? Yeah, they had those. That, yeah. I thought they were invented in 1940, but it was like, they didn't have the kinks. They existed, but they weren't weapons before yet. We called it a poorly gig at the time.

Hadn't quite figured out the keys to making it useful. That's what I thought it was, yeah. Interesting. And then in Vietnam, you get the first air cavalry, which is what that Mel Gibson, and we were soldiers movies all about. That was a good movie. I don't know how accurate it was,

but I enjoyed the movie. Me too. When that guy gets napalmed and they go to drag him to safety and all the meat strips off is like calves and shins and the guy's like, ah!

It looks like pulled pork. It's fucking awful. Delicious. Yeah. Mel Gibson is making Passion of the Christ too. I saw he was doing that. And like my thought is like

where Where are we going from the end of the... This time, Arches Pays! We're covering the newer Testament. Because I'm pretty sure the original passion went all the way up to like the crucifixion, the resurrection, like kind of tied it off. And so like what are, what is even the sequel to that? The passion is to this time the Pharisees pay.

Like Jesus comes back and he just, maybe it's a kung fu movie. You ever see Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer? maybe they do something like that where they take a historical character and they mix in a little fantasy a little bit of silliness Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer was great it shows you Abraham Lincoln's early days

and he's trained by this guy to focus all of his rage and anger into a single act swing and he's chopping entire pine trees down with one whack so that's based sort of his blade-esque training to then do battle with the creatures of the night

maybe that is what he's planning to do with Passion 2. It's go a little weird with it. Maybe Jesus shows up and talks to the Avengers. So Mad TV did a Terminator 2 parody like 30 years ago where Arnold Schwarzenegger has been sent back in time, but this time it's to protect Jesus Christ. And so like immediately he shoots, he shoots,

who's the one who like took the money to betray Christ? Judas. Immediately he like shoots Judas with a shotgun. And Christ is like, I know he's going to betray me. He's supposed to. And he raises Judas from the dead. And Schwarzenegos, but you have to survive.

It's just him following Jesus Christ around who doesn't want the help because he wants to be sacrificed and resurrected. But he's just killing Rome. Every Roman that comes in, he's mowing him down. Just killing everybody. It's great. Damn. So he was trying to like just keep Jesus alive for the sake of it. well he'd been sent back and well see if you sell terminator two some of this would be making

sense it'd be ringing a bell if you will make sense to me yeah so the honors sports nager's character in terminator two is trying to keep this kid alive because he will become important to the resistance as an adult oh okay so you can see how that ties in the keep by the way guys a lot of people haven't seen this movie so zach can you put up a spoilers tag for a movie older when did that movie come out like 91 89. I think it was 92, but I'm with these spoilers tag up.

Darth Vader is actually Luke's father. Whoa. This tag is running. I remember like seeing that in Star Wars for the first time being like, oh, sick. Like that's kind of cool. Like you're connected to Darth Vader.

But Darth Vader wasn't as cool without all the additional lore they've given him since then. like yeah yeah absolutely like the the comic book stuff um is the most interesting stuff about all those characters and i feel like that's true for most properties like like the comic book stuff for all the star wars characters is really neat like when you learn like about dark fader's suit and like how it works and are there lots of star wars comics tons of comics and books i think that um mark

hamill writes star wars books or no it's it's that never mind i'm thinking of um williamer write Star Trek books. That's what I was thinking of. Good for him. William Shatner's like 95 and he's got like a, he's got a pleasant plump to him, you know, like a healthy, he's the best looking, is it a septogenarian? What is it not? No, that's 70s. That would be a nonagenarian. He's the best looking nonagenarian I've ever seen. I thought he was over 90, isn't he? He is. He's, he's like 93 or something. He's clear, He's been wearing a hair piece. 94.

He's been wearing a hair piece for decades and decades and decades. So his hair line has stayed exactly the same. And it's sort of this light brown curly kind of thing. And he's also probably, I don't know how tall he is, probably five, nine or ten or something. He's also like 30 pounds overweight. But that's kept him like plump and like the wrinkles don't take effect. And he's definitely had some work done. But he looks tremendous for 93, you said, 94.

94, yeah. that's crazy 94 and a half most 94 year olds look like they're dying like they look so like they have that paper skin and like liver spots and they look very frail and like dried out like a husk of them former selves he looks fine like he's not going to do any movies anytime you know a couple other oldie like hyper oldies that are doing pretty well is uh dick van dyke and clint eastwood yeah they don't have the benefit of the plump of uh shathing her but because they're both very skinny and so that just makes them look much older but like they still seem pretty fucking with it for people in their 90s which is always worked out clin always lifted weights even when in his like i'm gonna call it his when he was 65 and the movie space cowboys space cowboys is a good movie basically um it's all of the maybe not jemini the early testing pilots that were supposed to go to space that clean is what is one of those and so is Tommy Lee Jones and so is like two other old fogies and they need these four retired

never were astronauts to go up into space in their 60s because there's a there's an old satellite up there that if they don't go up there and fix it it's going to like crash into China and cause some international events something like that and so they have to recruit a 65 year old Clint Eastwood and they have to he has to go through NASA basic training like he has to pass a fitness test and it's like holy shit he's got biceps like he's ripped That is like the Y2K bug lot line. Yeah. Oh man, we need a million cobalt programmers to fix this shit.

No one's used that language in 27 years. Did that happen? Yeah, yeah. Did they dig up guys who were retired and pay them to come in and fix shit? They did. Or people whose skill set had almost no value suddenly became expensive consultants. Okay, so you're the perfect person to ask about this because you were in the industry. and, you know, you were the right age at the time.

How serious would the Y2K bug have been if no one had known about it? And it had just done its thing fully. I think it would have been a pretty big deal. I think that because, like, they fixed it, everyone was like, oh, this is like climate change. It was a hoax all along. But in reality, like, yeah, we wouldn't have known a lot of people's ages, right? You know, things that just assume that if you were born in, like, I don't know. I'm trying to do the years, right.

If you're, if you're, yeah, they would, I don't know how they fucking do age in two digits. I can't wrap my head around it now, but like as the year flipped over, suddenly being born in 03 would make you ridiculously old, but you're not. You've just been born. And Medicare probably would have been all fucked up. Social security payments would have been all fucked up. Banking system maybe?

Banking system possibly. It's not a hard fix. kind of like you know you sort of figure it out one time and then copy paste that solution the hard part is finding the 7000 places that needed it fixed yeah i remember being a really big deal at the time and when at midnight when we were watching the ball drop or the peach drop here in atlanta uh we were like kind of like buttholes puckered like is something gonna like if the power we we i halfway expected like what if the what if the tv turned TV turns off at midnight, you know, like, like, I don't know. Like, like, what if, what if, like,

what if, like, the feed keeps going, but, like, chaos ensues, like, the streets turn black in New York and, and crime runs rampant? Like, like, wasn't there, like, a New York blackout back in the day, and there was, like, crime did run rampant? Um, I don't think that's, I'm not sure specific to New York. If crime ran out. I'm not, I don't remember crime being rampant, maybe it was. Yeah. Blackouts tend to cause a crime in flux yeah yeah but

it's when I do my crime it's not like a New York specific thing dude I'm looking Dick Van Dyke turns 100 years old December 13th is he going to make it oh I would say absolutely

he's going to make it because I saw him tweet like a month ago like he's pretty with it good for him man that's sick can you imagine making it to a hundred years old

I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to I'm not going to make it. I constantly assume I don't want to be old. Like, Teenaged Woody thought I'd never make 30. 30-year-old Woody just assume like 50 was not worth living anymore.

50-year-old Woody is like, I don't know, maybe like 73, 76, something like that. Be a great time to die. When I'm 76, maybe I'm hoping for 99. I don't know. I would like to die. I would like to die early doing something fun and for it not to hurt very much. you should take up paramotoring I have

or or heroin no because heroin people seem to love it heroin doesn't kill you though it's the overdoses and getting the wrong thing

that kills you heroin absolutely kills you yeah okay well ice cream kills you then by that rationale like like if you take no I've never I've never gotten a hot shot

at Red Robin or a Askin Robbins that like killed me right away They put that fentanyl in a swirlic cone. What was he going to do? It was just way a much more powerful strawberry sorbet than he ever. Is that what a bad heroin shot is called with too much fentanyl, a hot shot? Yeah.

That applies to any drug. So like a hot shot with too much of meth, heroin crack, whatever. Do they put fentanyl in joints like ever? I saw in a YouTube video they do, but I wasn't, I wasn't sure if that would, the equivalent of like people handing out edibles and Halloween. To me that also has always screamed out that same thing of like razor

blades and apples where it's like at least when it comes to weed there doesn't seem like an incentive from the dealer to spice it up like with fentanyl. It's a different high like a weed smoker would immediately be like oh my God something is terribly wrong.

Yeah this is a thousand times more intense than I understand weed to be like you would It's a way different high because I've heard of people, so with joints, people will, I've heard of them soaking in the formaldehyde, which is an embalming fluid. I don't know what that does to people, but obviously if you've watched once upon a time in Hollywood, you can dip them in acid or you can put acid on them. I would be interested in that because when I did take acid, I would smoke a tons of weed and the mixture seemed to be to be a good mixture of drugs. Acid would be the only one that would make sense if it was just like a shitty drug dealer who wanted to fuck with you. because acid is so cheap and I don't I actually contradicting myself I don't know how expensive fentanyl is apparently it's super cheap that's why they mix it in there it's cheaper than heroin so they're

but it's like a comparable kind of effect so I can cheap out by giving you less heroin slip little fentanyl in there save money that makes sense if you're buying heroin it does make sense for them to slice some fentanyl in if you're buying weed I really don't see why you would retain more customers or get more business as a weed dealer putting that in there. Yeah, I would never buy weed from that guy again. Yeah, I would never buy weed from that person again. I'd be like, you're a fucking lunatic. But what if it made you an instant addict? What if it was the best hide you ever had? It would be like going to the doctor and getting put under

anesthesia. You'd be like, well, this feels great, but I just wanted to get buzzed and eat Doritos. I mean, you make sense. The video I watched told a different argument, but now that I'm thinking about it critically, it was like, you try fentanyol the first time you're going to love it. It's absolutely great. And then you'll be chasing that high. You'll never have the same effect again. It'll take more. Yada, yada, yada. And I'm like, okay, got it, got it, got it. But now I'm like, was I sold a bill of goods there? Like, like, maybe that does that. Yeah. I think, I, I think part of it is wanting that high. Like, I, like, I think if I injected you with heroin, you would just be

really angry and sick. You wouldn't, you wouldn't seek it out later on. You would, you would just try to kill me somehow. I don't think I'm that susceptible to opiate addiction because I really dislike it. Like, anytime I've had more surgeries than most and I always get off that stuff way ahead of schedule if I take it at all. It makes me, it's like an unpleasant kind of sickness, dizziness that I don't like. I like it. I like it a lot. I think you're normal. Yeah. It makes me itchy, but I kind of like the itchiness. Like it's kind of fun to scratch yourself a little. Like I like being itchy. Yeah, I took a hairbrush. and, like, itched myself with the hairbrush, like a soft bristled hairbrush, and it felt heavenly. I was just, I sat there and watched TV high as fuck and itchy and scritched myself with the

hairbrush. It was wonderful. Why did you have it? Uh, one time it was for wisdom teeth, and then one time it was for, like, severe strep throat. Okay. You're a strap boy. It seems like you get stricken with strap, like, every other year. Like, maybe three times ever I've had strap.

Oh. It was just really, really bad that time. I just remember there was a period a couple years ago, Kyle, where you were like, I'm sick as a dog. And then you'd get better. And then you would be sick as a dog again for like another three weeks. I didn't get sick at all throughout the whole pandemic. I was like, this is a crazy amount of sickness for him to be getting as a healthy 30 at the time, 36 year old man, 35 year old man.

I was getting, I didn't get sick forever during the pandemic because I was going to, I was going, I was going. going through such a safety protocol. Yeah, everyone was so villagent. Yeah. I was vigilant. Vigilant. I put diligent and vigilant together and made a whole new word. I liked it.

That's why I'm here. You pass the ball. I swear. Thank you. I accepted it as a new word. I liked it. But yeah, just between the hand sanitizer and the mask and just staying away from people I didn't need to interact with.

I was spray. I was sanitizing my grocery bags. You know what I mean? Like, we didn't know what was happening. I was praying I had that 99% germ killing Lysaw, just killing everything that came through my door. Just every inch of it, I would make the cardboard wet. Thank God everything in Lysol is safe. I remember the very beginning of the pandemic.

I like was getting some Amazon packages and I saw online, maybe even heard it from you, Kyle, that people were like, oh, they're rubbing like germacs all over the packages and they're doing this and that. and I remember like I would bring a box in and I put like some hand sanitizer on this is like March April 2020 like where everybody like there was no knowledge to be had it was like this could be really deadly we didn't know and I got like two boxes in and was like yeah this is absurd it's fine it's probably fine then I just switch back to just regular operating procedure no I stuck it out like when I would go to the gym especially I was just if I touched anything in that gym with my bare hands I would immediately like a surgeon go back over to the entrance and like get that hand sanitizer and like make myself pure again and like go back I wore gloves for everything yeah and then I saw some scientist some douchebag scientist which I didn't like seeing at the time where he was like actually if you use hand sanitizer all the time you're destroying the good bacteria on your hands and also the

bad and it's bad for your overall ability to defend again and I wanted to I was like you're fucking gay no that can't be right there's no good bacteria on my hands I promise there's some good ones there's no good guys on my hands there might be some of my gut biome they tell me there is but but no

there's no way I'm uh all all of it on my hands has to die I heard you could rub your hands together really fast you know they get hot apparently they're getting hotter than you think and it could kill germs just rubbing yeah if you if you rub intensely

it gets really hot it does get pretty hot if you really look it up yeah that's hot enough to kill germs my penis is so germ free yeah it's terrible it's completely sterile yeah I'm looking forward

what an insane time that was I loved it I loved it so much I really did it sucked dude it was interesting like new stuff was happening you know that meme nothing ever happens stuff was happening They locked the country down. The smog went away and like the otters and sea turtles started living on beaches again and like oil became cheaper than free.

They would pay you to take barrels of oil. Yeah. You're watching your friends lose their jobs. A bold of you to assume I have friends. Also they were like, what do you do to quarantine inside? And I was like, quarantined inside. I started this six weeks ago. I'm a Tarkoff player.

That was funny, where, like, both of you were so locked in to the lockdown thing. You're like, I don't see a reason to stop this after two weeks or even fucking eight years. What I do is I hire a slave to go to Publix. They bring me all my cookies and treats. Trying to remember her name. At the time, not treats. You were all in on the jacked shit. Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I, uh, yeah, I, I,

stopped going to the grocery store almost entirely. I had everything delivered. I didn't go outside the house much at all. Do you go now? Like how often, how many, what percentage of your grocery store visits are physical versus order? Out of the last 100, I would say 100 of them were ordered. That's astounding. It's really not that bad. Just to like go because they're like, you also just get to do a little window shopping. Maybe something you thought you wanted, you put in the basket. And then you look around, you go actually, I'd like that as well because you're physically there. The app has, he'll take photos of the entire shelf.

And I can be, oh, no, that one over there with the cherries. Yeah, that one. They'll do that if I want. But for the most part, I, like, I'll order my groceries tonight and have them delivered in the morning. And, like, when I'm, when I'm waking up, getting my coffee, they'll just be on the front step. And I'll just bring them in.

I want you to have to think about it. And going there, you get the window shop, like you said, but that can be a bad thing, too. You might see some new fucking cookies. You know what I said? I'll tell you what I did on Amazon last night. I'm ashamed of it. Oreo has partnered with Reese's.

Did you know this? Oh, my. They're in cahutes together. My two biggest, it's like if... They're in cahoots to erase abs. Oh, my God. This is like when Hitler secured Hirohito.

It's like the Joker and the Riddler are in cahoots now, and there's no stopping them. And so what they made is the Reese's cup, and it's the white chocolate Reese's cup, which I like and it's a white chocolate Reese's cup and they put

Oreo bits of cookie inside of it and I was like can I order just like one pack and they were like how about 25 packs for $19

and I was like I mean I'm losing money if I don't buy 25 packs of Reese's Oreo cups and so they're going to show up tomorrow

and I'm actually actually I'll give them the trick or treaters this is perfect I'll eat one I'll give the rest of the trick-or-treaters. They'll be blown away by my unique full-sized candy bars. This is going to solve this whole problem.

You're going to eat one. I'm going to try to eat one. That's what I'm saying about the grocery store, though. If you go in there yourself, oh, yeah, that is vanilla milk. Oh, that has a little sugar. Ah, no big deal. But when I'm at home, I can just copy and paste. Yeah, my last order.

Yeah, four pounds of ground beef and like this and that and the other. That's fair. I do get just yesterday I went to the grocery store, and I got, I was looking at the jerky and this grocery store does not have the jerky I like. They don't have any spicy jerky. And so I'm always checking to see if they're stocking like a new skew. And then in that same aisle, like two feet to the left are the biggest containers of salted cashies you ever seen.

Barrels. And I bought one. And last night. How big are they? Show us with your hands. It's probably, uh, go fetch the bucket. So we can see what got a dent you made. like that you know you know what's funny when you said that Kyle is my initial response

was total no because I would be humiliated at the amount of cash shoes I want to see it Taylor you're talking to an addict I can't judge you that big that big around it's like the what percentage have you I've eaten maybe 25% those are broken numbers I did I did I did look at the calories and I think that equated to like like 1,100 calories of cashews that I had last night. It's like a hot chick's

day of food. That's two Big Macs. Is it? Yes, it is. They're 550 calories. Oh, fuck. How much is a dozen donuts? Like, dozen donuts calories. Donuts and like Uber sweets aren't what kept me.

I always get caught up in the salty. I would rather eat like if I had my choice between like a big bucket of any kind of nut or legume I would always go with a dozen donuts instead from like from just crispy cream like glazed donuts when they're hot like that's the move I want I mean if you're looking calorie to calorie sure but at least like almonds or cashew like peanut like any sort of nut actually does have nutrition in it that donuts don't have like there's actually stuff that your body likes in those things. I mean, there must be something in a donut that a cashew doesn't

have, probably. Sugar, an enormous amount of sugar. Yeah. Your body needs sugar to stuff. Do you remember as a little kid getting the Krispy Kreme Donuts and then you would just like shove the whole thing in your mouth? Like you just push the whole thing

in your... I've never eaten a donuts. Me either. What a joke. What a funny you know. For your kid, you'd steal a dozen donuts and hide them under your bed for a week. I didn't do that. Are you guys familiar with the Krispy Cream 5K?

It's a race. They hold it everywhere. My friends and all were going to do this 5K race. And basically you run out, you eat a dozen donuts, and then you run back. Bro. Okay, first of all, I had one donut and that was a lot to me. Not everyone eats all dozen, just the champions do. And on the run back, you are watching your step.

It is pile of vomit after pile of vomit from people who ate too many donuts and started running immediately. I am not a good runner. I'm getting passed by like a team of five guys in business suits. There was a dude dressed like a bear. You just everyone was fast. And you're not allowed to eat donuts on the run there. They all have to be when you get their shovel 12 in. It's at the midway point.

You sort of run out and back. and then there are free donuts at the farthest point in the race. That makes it so much harder to not be able to like get a front load on your donut eating because otherwise you could be running and kind of like snack on a few donuts as you go, lower that total. I couldn't do that. It seemed like it was mostly downhill there and uphill on the way back. I'm like, that is not the way I would have done this.

This is terrible. Do it the way Michael Scott would just have a 10. kilometer line towards a different location. He couldn't have made it a circle. He's like, where are we? She's like, I don't know, 5K from the office.

Just the dumbest way to organize a race you can imagine. Who wouldn't make it a circle? At first he thought he thought 5k came at 5,000 miles. He'd be running for years. What is it? That's about to New York and L.A. and back, right?

It's about 5,000. Yep. And back? I don't know about that. No, I think isn't it like 2650, 2,700 miles there? I thought 2,800 was the number that was in my head between New York and L.A. Let's see. Ask Forrest Gump.

Let's ask Brock Nah 2775 Hmm As the crow flies Is that what you No

The most direct route Okay So you know Obviously it's not a Perfectly straight line It's fairly straight though Especially as you get into Between Oklahoma and like Vegas

It's almost a straight shot Kyle you've got Too much mustache For that mustache to stick that's what you're learning from this I don't think so I just think it's an Amazon mustache I have I have glue somewhere

but I thought it was already sticky so I didn't think I should glue it down I also have a backup mustache over there in case this one fails me you'd be a great mustache man you just gotta want it I don't think that's it I think it's more genetics

or I could go to Turkey and get one of those Turkish mustache implants oh I bet they do that it's turkey they'll do whatever west oh they'll pluck it out of any man you want put it right in there that wouldn't be good because you wouldn't want head hair in your oh no it's mustache here where would they pull there's a marriage made in heaven here you want tons of women who don't want mustaches and then unfortunate souls like kyle who need them yeah a lot of a lot of italian women

out there that could lend me a hair they could they could they could lend you some arm hair those hairy bitches I don't like that I'm glad about that I've got the most normal arm hair you would never you'd never know that I'm hairy

okay well fine I don't have like arm hair as fine as yours but it's like a seal it's not at all rough it's not at all thick I glide through the water

how do you compare are you hairier or not as hairy I'm I'm probably oh my my lighting is a little bright but I'm in normal lighting similar to what you're doing maybe even a little less Like, I don't, my shoulders are starting to get a little wild, but the arms aren't too bad.

And I don't have no back hair yet, no back hair to speak of, other than the fact that my, the back of my head, like, almost goes to the nape of my neck. Like, my hair just grows like a horse's mane downward. And so they have to shave that. It's not unfortunate. It's just part of being an alpha male. When he noticed it, does he go, oh, wow, huh? And, like, get out a tool you've never seen before?

no but I've told you before that like my hair lady now doesn't ask about doing my eyebrows she just she just gets in the mix she's like you want these trimmed right and I'm like no I want to look like the ghost of Christmas present when I have a fucking thicket coming I am digging me with eyebrows I don't see this all the time it looks gone off every day you're more expressive this way I like it oh I didn't even You're thinking about all the freaking eyebrow dances that I constantly do. Yeah. So Woody's just more expressive. We got to keep Jackie on you every week. Getting those fucking eyebrows on point. I bought,

I don't know where the product is anymore, but I brought this thing you can put in your hair. They're like little hairs that give your hair more density. Yeah. I got them for my eyebrows, but I didn't use it yet. Oh, I'd be worried about putting those in my eyebrows because it's just little flex, right?

I haven't opened the package, but I think. There's a basketball player, Jalen Brown. If I have the story right, the equipment crew for the Boston Celtics complained that his fake hair was leaking all over the uniforms. So he just shaved his head and now it's done. I did see some basketball player like within the last two days a highlight on Twitter where he like came into the offensive zone and did like a little fake a little fakery. His head happened to brush the

opposing player's jersey and everyone afterward was like, go look at his jersey, his fake hair rubbed off because this other guy just had like a smear of fake hair on his jersey and this guy just had to be like oh fuck maybe that's the full

their actual story. LeBron James used to wear a headband and then his headband pushed his hair line up and when it slid back down it was all gone. His own teammate. Is it Gilbert Arenas being like your hair?

It was Anthony Davis I think. It was like telling him that, yeah, he was pointing it out. Trying to do it like on the down low like a friend would like two fingers on your nose. I mean, that's how I remember it. I could be wrong.

Yeah. This is the, the clip I saw. This guy from Boston has like totally drawn in hairline and he just you know, that guy's roughed up.

I like him. He's a, He guest lectured at MIT about something. Like, he's a pretty smart cookie. But, and he's the second best player on a championship team. He won finals MVP. Like, he's a good player and a good guy with bad hair. Just be confident enough to, like, not have the hair.

Like, if LeBron Jane. He's not having hair, who among us could be? He's like a champion in his sport. He seems like a decent guy. I don't know. Other than the fact that he's a completely, complete flopper. That's, that's a mark against him. He flops. Fair enough. But outside of the floppery, he seems like a decent guy. He, uh, he runs the worst school on earth.

And they like, apparently, they don't even bother with reading. We're more of a vibes based school. For people who don't know, his school was designed to take in the worst students from all the other school and put them in this environment in which they would excel. And it turns out, take the worst students and put them all together, you make a bad school. Yeah. Who could have seen that time? No, known as the LeBron crime family.

Lots of tots. It must have been a net positive, though, because if you can imagine all those classrooms that now don't have those trouble making, trouble so not there to learn kids. Like that alone, because I know my mom would tell stories, and I've experienced it in my classes going through grade school

where, like, that kid right there is making it, everything has to stop, that kid right there is becoming such a behavioral issue. I remember it was a thing in like third or fourth grade. It was a thing in fourth grade. Anthony Winkfield on the fucking floor doing the thing from the three stooges where you run around

in circles. He was, but he never seen the stooges because he's a fucking loser. He was just laying in the floor writhing in the doorway. Just writhing around, just causing a scene. And you had to have. Here's what I want to know. How do the other kids

react? Was he a big hit and getting courage for? No, no, there was no, none of that. We're in fourth grade. Like, the teacher is over there, like, actively telling him to stop. And we're all just staring, like, afraid, like of what will happen next. Like, it was because he was 23. He didn't make it out of school. He didn't make it to high school. A lot of these guys didn't make it too high school. Middle school, notoriously taught. I graduated with two black people, um, total. In Atlanta? Well, I'm out from Atlanta, but, but, but even still, I, I, Two of them made. In Georgia. Like that's, yeah, there were plenty of black kids in elementary school, fewer in middle school, and almost none made it through high school. Almost none. I know the two people by name to this day that the two black, there was a, it was a girl whose mother was in the educational system. And it was a guy who he had like made it his mission to go to UGA, I think.

And in ninth grade, he had talked to one of the coaches who had gone to UJ himself and like, asked him for a game plan basically he played football so he was like asked him for a game plan to get to college and like that guy tutored him throughout four years of high school and I don't know if he went I don't know I know that's what he's next question I don't know if he ever made it at UGA

but his life was better did he grab that guy seems like a hard worker like trying to make the best of a situation that's a woman was not on the cusp of playing at UGA though no no he was undersized yeah yeah well at least he set his sights for like a lowly program like

University of George. He didn't want to play at UGA. He wanted to go to school at UGA. Is it easier to get into UGA as a resident? I don't know. Yeah, it has to be.

Isn't that how North Carolina it is? I don't know most schools. You get a little preferential treatment. Like if you're trying to go to Mizzou or UNC, like if you're in state, you get a little boost, I would imagine.

Yeah, the standards are higher for out of state students, which makes sense because the in-state students are the one who pay the taxes that fund so much of the school. And in North Carolina, they have, I don't know what the number is, so don't take this to heart, but something like 80% of the students have to be from in-state. And then the other 20 are the cream of the crop who want to go to UNC. That makes sense.

Yeah. I never knew anything about UNC or UGA until speaking with you guys about it. I just thought UNC was that basketball school and UGA was that. at school that got butt-fucked by Alabama constantly. Like, in football. That's what, that's so. Just so, just so you know, that's what the perspective

was in 2009 about the different school. Because we also just entered the SEC my freshman and sophomore year and we were in the like joke amongst the students at Missouri at the time was like, oh my God, we are about to see

the most brutal couple seasons of football we've ever seen because these guys in Alabama and Georgia play for keeps and we do not have our old rival was Kansas was KU and now like the worst other team we're going to play is Arkansas and even they're pretty solid or they're worth the time and NC State's been to the ACC forever but there are years like say when Clemson's on top of the world and we play them and I'm like we're going to make it to the other side of this without overwhelming injuries like This is a pro football team coming to town to bully our football team. Yeah.

It's like it was the exact same thing of like, oh, the first game of the year, we play Missouri State or we play some fucking who gives a fuck team that's just taking two million dollars from us. So we can win 68 to nothing. And then you go play the first real game where it's like, oh, wow. I guess we didn't pay LSU because they're brutalizing us up and down the field. because GA plays Florida this weekend. I'm pumped. It's going to be an absolute beat down. Are they ranked Florida?

No. No. Are they having a down year? They're not ranked. They're having garbage year. They did somehow beat Texas. Like that's a huge embarrassment for Texas. Hopefully we trounce them.

We're ranked fifth. I hear you. Sometimes those rivalry games play by their own rules. Sure. Yeah. We played it in a neutral stadium. even for Georgia, Florida. They do it in Jacksonville,

which doesn't seem neutral to me. It's in Florida, but I think maybe... It's more neutral. It's more neutral. You know, it's just into Florida. I think they do it Jacksonville. Or maybe they do in Tallahassee. I don't remember now.

I'm mixed up. And Mizzou got bumped down by those Vanderbilt cunts. Those Nashville Vanderbilt got... Then you have a severe injury, too? Like, the loss of self was a very... No, it was... going well and then a Vanderbilt player

like tackled Bo Prabula our quarterback and did that thing where like you hold the ankle super duper tight and like twist weirdly and then a guy over the top tackles him and so he like tore all the ligaments

in his leg and then after that moment which came pretty early in the game all the Mizzou fans were like oh fuck it's kind of jover like it's kind of We're kind of done because that was an injury. Like, they had to bring the gator out and put him on the gator to wheel him off the field. The quarterback, right?

And then our kicker missed a really easy field goal because I guess we, the Mizzu was on their third string kicker because of injuries. So it was some like true freshman that was really nervous. And our second Bo Prabula got hurt. And our second string quarterback was also hurt. And so it was this 18 year old guy, true freshman. that came in and played the rest of the game against Vanderbilt. And they still only won by a touchdown. They still only won by a little bit.

So I don't know how this works with college football. I know that there's still trades. I don't know when that deadline is. Is it possible for Mazoo to get a new quarterback from somewhere? I don't know. I don't know how that portal works. Yeah. I know.

I don't think they will. I think they're going to try and like see the rest of this season is kind of a bit of a loss because so many people are in. you're the top two kickers, the top two QBs. And so hopefully they're going to try and make this third string guy. He played well. Yeah. Right?

Maybe, and he's a true freshman, what if by the time he's a senior, he's like class of the SEC? That's what I think. Like you let this guy kind of play. Like you could see the plays they were calling were a little more conservative, probably because they were really worried about his ability to throw to the right places. But he played well. and then Missou lost 17 to 10 because it was like all the announcers talked about the whole time was like they were trying to like spice it up but they're like guys we're getting to see here the two best defenses in the country a lot of people are saying right now and it's but really what it's saying is like please keep watching this low scoring game please oh what a great stop it's like nobody wants to see stops we want to see scoring and the world series went 17 innings or something shit the other day. Yeah, I

saw that. Who's even in it? The Dodgers and who else? The Dodgers and the Blue Jays. Canada? Canada. Oh, go Dodgers. Yeah. I mean, not for nothing, because when I said it, Chis was like, oh, good perk, but I did pick the Dodgers to win the series preseason. The 76ers

are still undefeated. We faced four teams. We haven't bumped into anyone with the winning record yet, but you win the games you can and that's good enough maybe. Good for them. The Blues are having a horrible season. I tweeted the other night.

I'm like, the Blues are so terrible now that I might have to watch movies. I might have to become a movie guy because I can't fill up my time with watching. Hey, when you won the cup, you started poorly. That's true. But that same day that Missou was up on Vanderbilt and it was looking great for

Missou and then they basically tore the meat off of our quarterback's leg like a chicken wing and then as that was happening I like popped over to my ESPN app on my phone and I was like well at least the blues are up for nothing

maybe this is a good sign that the blues are like rebounding and then the blues then Missou loses and I pop back to the blues game, they lost 6 to 4 in what is probably historically the worst blues collapse in history

outside of when they lost to Toronto in the 90s where they had a 5 to nothing win going into the 3rd and then they lost 6 to 5. Other than that, this is their worst loss of all time. And then I'm like going through the stat line and I'm like, I'm good at this. I can find positives here. Oh, no. Oh, no.

every single percentage is bad frustrating is Teresenko out of the league yet or is he still playing Teresanko plays for Ottawa now but he's like us losing Teresanko

was a great thing because he had had two botched shoulder surgeries and his entire use factor was having the best wrist shot in the league and after those surgeries he just can't whip it the way he used to and so like he's now like

more of a middle middling is too much he's a way better than average play in the league still but he's just not what he would have been and i think he's like my age which is like old as the hills in the n h i'm going through it now where like i will see the blues and they'll be like they've signed this player to a potential tryout and then i'll be like what the fuck who's this old fogy and I'll look it up and I'll be like this guy's three months younger than you oh okay yeah

he's useless he's 34 dude don't bring him in the mix there's a part where you're like young and pro athletes are all older than you maybe the youngest of them are around your age and you're like what it must it be like to be on that team and then you know you're there with like other athletes

prime now we're past our prime at 29 because we're not working out constantly but they're peaking and you can sort of convince yourself that you could too if you tried. And then you reach a stage where you're like 37. And they're like, it's a medical miracle that this guy's still a quarterback. He's been in the league for 20 years.

He's ancient. 38. And it's like, there's a lot of 40 plus year old. I never even with one game. There's at least two or three 40 plus quarterbacks in the league right now. We went from a lot to two. Aaron Rogers.

I did see, I saw on Twitter a bunch of people being like these old heads can still chuck it look at this. Aaron Rogers just threw a 78 yard pass tell me a quarterback today that can throw 78 yards like or that will be able to

How many yards after the catch further? I might be able to throw a 78 yarder. Into the touch into the end zone. It was a it was a bananas throw and it was interesting. I could underhand throw to the right guy for 78 yards. Yeah.

If you count all his running, then that would be much easier. But I actually don't know how they count that for the quarterbacks. Do they only count it where for his passing yards? In the old day, your passing yards would include the run. And that's partly to your credit. Like, if I hit you in the numbers in stride, then I'm influencing how many yards after catch you get. That's fair. Whereas if you're like diving or falling to get my bad throw, then, you know, I didn't say it was six.

But nowadays, they have much better stats and they separate yards after catch. and stuff and tell you how much of it is yours and how much of it is the receiver's credit. Okay. But either way, I kind of liked seeing the Aaron Rogers clips. It's fun to see someone who's like 41 still whipping it out there and like apparently being good

or useful at least. Maybe not great but useful. He's great. They're five and one. Oh. They're having a great year. He's doing well. Joe Flacko's like 40, 41 too. I think he got traded from like the Bengals to the Browns or the Browns to the Bengals. I don't remember

which he's doing well too yeah holy shit that guy's got to be like in his early 40s right I didn't realize Rogers was doing so well all season long I knew he had a good game I didn't know he happens to good year Matt he came back from is it ACL surgery what was wrong with him

I don't remember I know he was Gilles Zach probably know I saw a clip the other day and it's they take his Joe Rogan interview where he's like I'm taking this off they take his Joe Rogan interview where he's like he's like oh yeah I was high all the time when I played

and Joe's like while you played what were you on he's like percocet and then it cuts to him playing and his eyes are like just dilated and red shot and some rap music starts playing he's like I be on that shit yo

I be on that shit yo and it's just Aaron Rodgers throwing bombs on percasses just just fucking like hooking up with these like 50 yard touchdown after 50 yard touchdown and then you zoom in again and his eyes are cracked the fuck out it's great i do remember seeing clips of him on joe rogan

and just having the confidence of a wildly successful NFL quarterback who's still in the league at 40 and like joe would ask like some trying to be nice fact-finding question like so what what did you think when like the younger guys came in and this and that and the other and you know you were kind of on the later stage your career and he would just respond so dismissive and lib, which is not something that people respond to Joe Rogan in a way. Like you, you see him as the con, the king

maker. Like you try to appease Joe at all costs. And Aaron Rogers is there like, yeah, I think that's, uh, that's the kind of question that people don't know fucking anything about our sport ask. It would just like, holy shit like this guy. He just doesn't

I like that. I think it's kind of neat when a guy who doesn't need Joe Rogan is on Joe Rogan. Yeah. You know, because then they're not just like all Joe Rogan's friends I think are kind of hangers on you know they're all below him yes man yeah yeah yeah but a guy like Aaron Rogers or like heck even like when a big politician comes on they're still using that platform like trying to do a thing Aaron Rogers is not in that position he Joe Rogan this podcast doesn't make or break him he's doing it for kicks yeah he's like oh I kind of wanted to meet Joe sounds neat like right and that's probably why he did it whereas a lot of people are like this is my chance. I've listened to Shane Gillis clips before where he talks about the first time he went on Joe Rogan and he's like, oh, dude, I like tried a few jokes early and they weren't landing and I was sitting there and then Joe would ask me another question.

I'd be like, yeah, that's pretty cool. And like I just, I answered like such a fucking homo and I knew everybody out there. The millions and millions and millions of people were like, this guy doesn't funny. No wonder he got fired for Messina. just like knowing that because that has to be terrifying like that is there a scarier show to go on as a guest like because there's no show with more there's no show with more viewers yeah but but like it opens you up to more potential criticism than ever i remember i was hanging out with um what's it dakota mire he's uh at the time he was the only living

recipient of the medal of honor he just wanted in afghanistan he's he like disobeyed orders and jumped on the back of a Humvee or something on a 50 cow and like went into where the enemy was where his buddies were hurt and killed a shitload of people with the mounted gun and then got off to like rescue somebody and ended up in a hand-to-hand fight with a Taliban and he killed the guy with a rock so like I'm hanging out with that guy and he just had done I think peers Morgan or it was somebody like no it was the mean one who was the mean conservative bald guy we'll do it live that guy um the mean bald

Bill O'Reilly Bill O'Reilly he had just done Bill O'Reilly and O'Reilly had like ambushed him and been mean to him and he was all bummed out and like I think that would be a worse thing because Joe won't do that to you

Joe's just gonna see what you're about I've never seen him ambush anybody or like be mean to them but this was like a this was live this had just and he had just come back from it and he was just bummed out he didn't want to be shitty to you but the enormous

audience he has might be. And it's like what was Bill O'Reilly's like max audience like 4.1 million? Like maybe at its absolute peak in like 2014. Like a lot of times a TV show, they really look at how many people watched it live that day. And they don't add up all the YouTube like clips that came from it over time. Like there's more exposure than they make it out to be. I don't think the gap is as big as they say it is. It's there. that's fair to say too because like they're and that has been a huge issue in the advertising world for like the past 10 years because they're like oh you want us to pay you x amount to promote on your YouTube channel when it's going to get these amount of views and it's like well you're looking at the first 48 hours but in reality you should kind of be taking a bit more into account and also the kind of the tangential routes that they can take to learn more that's how it's been for for a good bit but I would still be terrified to go on Joe Rogan more than any other show because it would it's just the most regardless of how you quantify traditional media they don't even sniff joe rogan's numbers if fox news was getting joe rogan

numbers per episode or per hannity or i guess tucker isn't a part of that anymore they'd be like dancing in the street like they would be ecstatic at that and joe rogan's like racking up 20 million people listening over different platforms per episode that trump episode I think really pushed him over the edge. I think that 60 million people watching Trump, and then the next day, like 15 or 20 watching J.D. Vance. And then the next day, it was somebody also in the administration or somebody tangentially related.

Or maybe it was, I don't remember who it was now. Oh, no, it was, it might have been the VP candidate on the other side. It was, I don't recall now. But anyway, that was crazy. Yeah, that was crazy that he wasn't going, Joe. I'm wrong about that. that was crazy that that uh the trump got like 60 and then jd got like 15 or 20 or something i think it mattered i think people for sure dude got to see like a sort of a normal laid back funny side of

trump that you he didn't seem as mean and belligerent and cruel he seemed relatable and that's what he needed i think it helped and if you scrubbed through that interview as i did a couple times like there were whole segments that had nothing at all to do with politics which i think to your point kyle humanized trump a lot in that way where it would be trump asking joe like how do you even get involved in stand up like how do you even think you're funny enough for people to listen to you like what what happened in your life that you thought i'm so much funnier than everyone else in my world that this is a job for me and then it would be rogan trump asked that I didn't see.

Yeah, it was something to those lines. And then it was like Rogan explaining the standup world to him in a way. Or like Trump being very earnest asking about UFC stuff because Trump is clearly a UFC guy, but he doesn't have the knowledge of a rogue casual fan. Obviously, yeah, a casual fan. And so he would just, they spent like 20 minutes where Trump's like, I'm not sure about that. I don't think he's one of the best fighters. And then Joe's like, no, but this is what you're not seeing. He does this.

He does that. These are things that if you're casual, you're not going to pick up on. And, you know, then you hear Trump be like, that makes a lot of sense to me. Interesting. I never would have watched a fight from those angles. So there was, it was invaluable having Trump do that shit. And the Harris campaign made such, such a blunder not going on. Or like they tried to give Trump or I'm sorry, Joe like some little.

rules where it's like it can't go longer than this we can't address this that and the other thing and it's like no at this point like the harris campaign should have been like we're already probably going to lose uh feed into the fire do it go see if we can make this positive i wish i knew the whole story because like i've heard different snippets here and there like harris wanted joe to come to the white house he's like no i do this in my studio or fuck off and then harris is like okay I'll come to your studio and Joe's like sorry I don't have any time for the vice president and she's like all right we can do this other time and Joe's like no that time doesn't work for me either and I'm like what is happening if you guys wanted to make this

happen you would have made it happen but it seems like both sides are coming up with rules to stop it from happening that's I think the complete picture but who knows it could be my understanding is that like both Trump and JD had to agree to like nothing is off limits and the show will not be edited there will be there will be there will be no editing of this show. And so you show up, you talk to Joe Rogan for four hours and then that is the show that gets uploaded. There's no requisitioning us for editing afterward. And that was from what I heard from the news and whatnot is something that the Harris campaign wasn't willing to do, which again was a huge mistake. It's like you're losing anyway right now. Like put your

feet to the fire, jump in the pit. Like if you if you fuck up, then you fuck up. Like you're already losing like try. I heard there were a bunch of people. in the Harris campaign. Harris herself wasn't really hip to like pop culture, but who were like, no, you don't want to go on the Joe Rogan show. It's bad news. He's racist, white supremacist, whatever terrible thing you might miscast him as. And those voices were in the campaign that made her not pursue it like she could have. I believe that fully, that she wasn't familiar enough. And then she believed someone she thought was being wise and they were really misleading her in a terrible way. Like, oh, he's just

going to be racist, white supremacist. And it's like, really the most popular show on earth is a racist, white supremacist? Are you sure it's not a fucking goober fighting guy? Like she's going to run again? I think she's going to get smoked again. She won't run. No way. Yeah, she should. Well, she's not. Well, okay, what I heard is

she was almost a slam dunk if she had run for governor of California. And she decided not to run for that. And they think that implies that she's going to run for president. Also, she doesn't say she doesn't want to be president she's like well you know we'll see where the future takes us which is what people who run say so that's a huge mistake she is not a popular candidate if you lose to trump

it's it's proof putting that you you've got some stink on you like that's the only way you lose to trump in a national election that's why hillary lost Hillary had so much stink on her from the comys stuff from the old school stuff from just the clinton stink you know all those people that died back in the day um and then just her establishment politics businesses used usual. Her fake leaning toward the black community with a yeah, I got hot sauce and I think. And then she was fainting and they were like loading her into a fucking SUV like a bag of groceries that time. And it was just one thing after another. Kamala was was never going to be Trump. I just really don't believe she was. And the way things went down with that assassination attempt was so perfectly

timed. He came out of that looking literally bulletproof. He came out of that looking like maybe God had smiled on him to a lot of his supporters. Like that's when I think I, I think my message, my initial reaction was Trump just won or something like that. I do remember you saying something. Yeah, I think the association attempt helped him a lot. And I think Trump has had the benefit of facing three very weak candidates. He did lose to Biden, but he was incredibly weak himself like after the COVID stink was on him. And he handled all his own PR in the COVID times.

and he just did such a bad job like putting witch doctors out there literal witch doctors who said like miscarriages were caused by astral demons and stuff and these are the people on his side these put the the whole inject detergent into your bloodstream or UV lights or whatever like he would praise himself doctors say I pick up on this so quickly maybe I should have been a doctor it was like you're not presenting yourself well you should be putting a smart person yeah I genuinely believe that, but yeah, anyway, so that's why he lost to Biden. Biden didn't do anything well. The line is he stayed in his basement, taking Zoom calls from donors, and that's all it took to beat Trump. Like, sometimes he'll say things, and I'm like, ah, he's, he's, the smart, he's being smart here. Like, like, he's, he's in on the joke here. But, but in that instance, you're talking about where he was talking about, it wasn't just, when he was talking about detergent or using the UV light to, like, kill the COVID that was in people. And it's like, that is such, that is the thought an eight-year-old has.

Like, that's the thought that someone who has like no, like, I'm not a doctor. He wanted the nuke hurricane. All right, so that one would, that one is interesting to me, because if they suddenly gave me a stockpile of nuclear weapons, and then they said, sir, we're in big trouble, Hurricane, Diane is on the way, it's going to cost four, four billion dollars worth the damage is. I'm like, man, could we nuke it? I might ask that too.

And there's a YouTube channel where they're like, what would happen if you fired a trillion lions at the sun? What would win? A trillion lions are the sun. And I'll, you know, they do math to figure out the mass of it and everything. It's a fun little exercise in mathematics and physics. But I

could see myself having a similar thought if I were given a stockpile of nuclear weapon. So that one I didn't hate on him so much. Well, let's do this. He keeps claiming he solved all these wars. but he doesn't know which countries he solved them with. Or the MS-13 tattoo on his fingers. Like, there's a couple of real misses. Yeah, those are, and I think those are happening,

those are symptomatic of different ailments. I think that the MS-13 thing is a mixture, is about sycophants around you, telling you what you want to hear, and never giving you the full picture, never giving you a full diagnosis. They almost like a doctor telling an old person, well, you know, the tests weren't great, but they weren't bad. And what they really mean is you've got weeks and it's going to hurt.

You know, like, and you never get that. He's bragging about his dementia test lately. I saw that. He made a mistake and gave away too many details. He did. He did. He was like in his first term when he was taking dementia tests. I didn't know what was on the test.

I wasn't sure, sure it was a dementia test or if that's just what haters were calling it. But when he said, you know, the first questions are easy. identify an elephant and a lion and stuff. But by the time you get to question four, five, it gets really hard. It's hard. You know, AOC, Jasmine and Crockett, maybe. They'd never pass a test like this. Okay.

So then I've seen the dementia test now. Question four, not too tough. We'd all do just fine on this dimension. What is it? Identify two lions? That's a mama lion. I don't know. You can tell.

But they're all questions that like a middle schooler would easily smoke. Yeah, whenever you get a glimpse into like the way the gears in his head turned, like, I wish I could remember the guy's name, but he's some sort of fucking UN ambassador, scholar, emeritus, genius man, but he was talking about geopolitics and like everything he, every time they'd ask him a question, he was so well versed on it. There was no thinking, there was no himming and Hong. He was like, oh, yes, the economy in Bulgaria. Well, what you've got to understand there is, and the Bolsheviks back in the day, they were the core of this whole thing. And he knew everything. And he was so well versed in it. And he knew all this minutia. And on a broad scheme of topics, whenever you get a, you get to see. And he was probably like 54 or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, absolutely. And he was evaluating Trump's economy and the tariffs at the time. It was the topic of discussion. But whenever you get a glimpse into Trump's gears turning, whenever you get to see him calculating, thinking, shooting, from the hip on something that's technical, not just topical, something that's technical. It's one thing to say, oh, Venezuela, they better watch out. We're the big stick. You know,

we'll kill them. They'll be like, dead. Like, you're like, that's what he said. That's a pretty close quote. You're like, okay, all right, he's just talking tough. That's tough talk from a president. He didn't need to break it down any details. But when he thought that you could use some UV light to sterilize people's blood, it's like, dude, do you think you're the, if that was a, you think that doctor's going to go, my God, you've got it, Mr. Trump. We've got to call the fellows at NASA. God damn it, Don, you've done it again. But I think his level of narcissism

allows him to say, yeah, I would be the guy who came up with the spirit of COVID. But it has to be coupled with vast amounts of ignorance. Yeah. Because I'm narcissistic, but I'm also, but I'm also, but I can be plenty narcissistic, but I don't think I'm going to teach these doctors a thing or two about fuck all regarding medical. health and science. If anything,

I'm going to try to talk very little. Before I go in front of the press, I'm going to have the three best doctors we can find, and I'm going to listen to how they talk about this thing. I'm going to try to mimic that. I'm going to try to build explain this to me. I'm going to have the three most jacked guys. That's what he does.

That's literally how his brain works. I mean, like, do you remember he's like, a look at him, he's healthy? When we, dude, what are you talking about? When we see other countries with hyper-com. competent, knowledgeable, intelligent leaders, like we, at least in regard to Russia, we made fun of it where like some American, like it was like Tucker Carlson, try to show up, talk to Putin

and like do American style interviewing, which is like, I'm a little curious about how did you manage to do X, Y, Z? Because that's something to me that just seems totally out of line. Maybe it's because I'm American, like doing that Tucker style interview. And immediately Putin is like, you know, if we're going to speak about this, honestly, you need to understand the history. And that begins in 1600. That is where this begins. And the American response to someone having a thorough, very thorough knowledge of their nation's history and the implications they're in was to be like, ha, ha, ha, he went back in history and didn't just say a five word answer. And it's like, yeah, this is why our politicians, are retarded because we have the lowest common denominator of voting universe you know universal suffrage you got everybody voting all the idiots and so there's no incentive for them to speak in such a way that would be endearing to higher class the oligart class the taxpaying class the way Putin does like Putin kind of revealed in that interview he had more understanding

of the geopolitical situation of russia ukraine the fall of the soviet union the russian empire preexisting that like he spoke knowledgeably on that in a way that are in a way that like in those no that's not necessarily true ask ask fucking uh ask fucking trump

or Kamala or any of these people about like detailed historical endeavors throughout American history and they're going to give you fucking second grade level slavery bad uh colonialism bad but

America good. Like, they're going to give you nonsense. It was a propaganda piece set up by Tucker being paid by Putin to be an easy pushover. And I'm sure they knew what the questions were before they were asked. Tucker tried to get him on multiple occasions. I don't think he did. Did you not hear where Putin owned him, which was hilarious? Didn't CIA try to recruit you?

Didn't your father was CIA recruit? It was part of your dream. Why were you not in CIA? You failed? like dream kaput? So that was funny. The reason I was convinced Tucker was there to do a puff piece is after he interviewed Putin, he did a tour of a Russian train station talking about how amazing it was and how much better

it was than anything in America. Socialists and communist countries often take some of these public utilities and make them show pieces. So it looked like a palace, their subway station. And then Tucker went to a grocery store and talked about how amazing Russian grocery stores were. and I'm like okay what the fuck are we doing here like you're just making puff pieces about Russia at this point there were three that's that's fair enough uh I did like the clips where he tried to seemingly get a little own on Putin and Putin had much more knowledge about it than Tucker and it was knowledge yeah yeah Putin's a very smart guy I haven't had a I wish we had a talk about that in a while like think about that though like why don't we have a type of a type of leader that can be as articulate

on our behalf, as thorough and knowledgeable on our behalf as Russia because Russia is a lower Russia is a lower tier country than us. I'll take bumbling self-serving buffoons over crafty, calculating sociopathic murderers every time. At least

our bumbling baffoons won't ruin our country the way Putin has theirs. 0.5% like so half of 1% of their men from like 20 to 60 have been killed. Thanks for that.

How little respect he has for us, Woody. 0.5% 0.5%. Which is a half of a whole percent. I think it's important to understand that half of one percent of an entire country's worth of men have died

in the last three years fighting a silly war that will not end the way he wants it to. That's not a genius. Maybe we've had a few military misadventures here and there, but like a sizable percentage of our male population weren't extinguished in the in the matter they're going to lose because or even if they win the little ukraine battle they're going to lose globally because we're more powerful we can exert our power more effectively on other nations than russia can't

we're a global power they're a you could say global power but really what what power are they exerting on fucking hundarus what are they what are they doing in in the congo like what South Americans want to band together and use a common currency to buy their oil. And then I know China bought oil from, I think, the Saudis with one, like a year ago. It was the first time in history that it happened. Yeah, I think the hegemony is losing its position that it had. And I think it's partly because he's fighting an economic war with every country at the same time. I don't think it's because of that.

I think we're losing our position largely because we have lost our ability to, independently create like we don't make anything like we make a we have a couple military industrial companies that make things but outside of that our country is entirely dependent on foreign nations to create everything we make things we make cars we make military gear we make basically all the tech on the planet we don't make backpacks and flip flops we we don't make all the tech on the planet because that's why we're so invested in the fuck is that little bush

Taiwan. Yeah. That's why we're invested in Taiwan. Well, we designed it and it should be if we gave a fuck, we'd make it here because that would be a good way to power up over people. That would be a great way. Imagine if we used our economic prowess

to bully every country into forcing that every chip has to be made here. You must have to like Biden policies. What about the Chips Act? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm not against. I'm pro things I think are good for America.

And so like if you're forcing more chips to be made here, that's great. That's good. That's the future. We don't want to be dependent on some like quasi state adjacent to China when we're trying to do these things. Yeah. I do worry about that vulnerability, how like we don't get chips if Taiwan falls. Like, that's a huge problem. But then I'm like, point to the country that doesn't have a huge vulnerability, right?

You've got China who basically doesn't have ocean access if, you know, we stop the, like the Taiwan area. Like they don't have unstoppable access to their oceans like America does. They have that dam where they lose some huge percentage of, not percentage, but like a huge amount of people will die if we take out of dam. Like everybody has their weak spots. sure but we are the we're the anchor point we're the fucking country we should force them to have more weak spots we should force these countries to have more weak spots by

manufacturing their chips here fuck them this is shall be about America like we win if we do that I don't know how we force them doesn't I mean they're Nvidia chips being made in Taiwan am I wrong about that just force them to move it here they're Koreans I don't give a fuck

force them to move it here and then invade North Korea again like what are we going to how are we going to make them you know what I mean like you can't make a Korean company we can mimic that infrastructure we're America

but we can't mimic the cost right like that's the thing and then we'll have to pay more for our shit I'm finally being a global economy having that is better than having the low cost like if every country has to go through fucking us to get these things we already know what the future of warfare is

and this is integral to it forced them to go through us I don't know about that I don't know I mean those most that drone warfare is fucking shit you can buy off the shelf you know and it's all made China like all those cheap drone parts

and China is a total paper tiger in regard to the fact that like they have no economy without access to the U.S. markets they have no no meaningful economy that's not true I really

well how much of their exports total go to the U.S. I think it's 40%? I bet it's less than 30. I think that we need them more than they need us. Everyone needs everyone. You're crazy. They need us more than we need them. I'm all for like maybe nationalizing strategic resources in times of great need. I'm definitely for shoring them up and having that infrastructure there. Like I would like us to be able to build battleships that I've moments noticed, but I don't think we should have every dockyard on the east and west coast up and running 24-7 on the off chance that We need to go into World War III and be able to crank Liberty ships out one every 24 hours like we did during World War II. I don't think we should maintain the state of everlasting readiness for World War III.

Like I would like to be ready to go into a World War III mode. But God damn, I don't want to pay American prices for my next graphics card. I don't want to pay, I don't want five, I don't pay $5,000 for a GPU. You know what I mean? The other thing is by having a really interconnected economy, you prevent wars. Like it did America doesn't want to go to war with China and China doesn't want to go to war with America and neither of us want to go to war with Russia and none of us want to go to war with England and that all these countries that depend on each other for success are incentivized to not create a war and that makes sense but and there's another little thing it doesn't take a sorry I cut you off it doesn't take a giant country to suck right like it what was it 18 Saudis on a plane who took down the two world trade sense? something close to that and and the Pentagon allegedly and you know so it's not like only China can cause us big problems we need a nice interconnected world of peace like that would be a pretty good

place and that's fair but we also and this is where I do come down on the tariff side is like we have been taking advantage of and fucked with in a lot of way like the fact that like Spain can put tariffs on us and force our manufacturing base outside of the U.S. in order to compete where you have to basically move your manufacturing to India or Bangladesh or Thailand or somewhere with like slaves. That's not good. Like the end goal shouldn't be reducing costs at the expense of American labor. Like if we want to be prepared in the future, we got to have a lot of manufacturing.

we have to. That's literally the only way. And the idea that all of our interconnected economies will keep us peaceful is one of those things that works until it doesn't. And once it doesn't work anymore, we don't want to be the side that isn't dependent on our enemies to create things we need. Yeah, especially for core things. But the hope of bringing like muffler flip-flop and backpack manufacturing here to America just so that we can have minimum wage employees who hate their jobs here.

What is that getting us? It'll be Mexicans in American factories anyway. Not if you deport them. Not if you get rid of them. Not if you, yeah, it will. Until you start punishing the factory owners. Punish the factory owners. Looselessly.

Fuck those people. It's always been curious to me. Like, why don't we? Why don't we punish the employers. It's because the wealthiest people on both sides of our faux political aisle love mass

migration. They love huge swathes of cheap labor being imported and then they make money. That's why some like douchebag in Ohio will be like, I'm a big business owner and the Haitians being imported are actually

really good. And it's like, no, you're paying slaves. You're paying slaves. And those people's lives are subsidized by the taxpayer. So, of course, you love this and GDP go up, but it's not good for the country. It's not good for people there who are having their lives upended. We'll see. We'll see what happens.

We'll see if it's actually a great move to outsource all manufacturing and become an entirely entertainment and service-based economy in a time where war does break out. not between major nations no but dude we've got all the fucking YouTubers don't you see that we've got all the YouTubers I doubt that All the greatest TikTok dancers We've got the best TikTok dancers

Yeah Those K-pop girls give you a run for their money That I can't understand I only get so so I didn't know what K-pop was Until like three years ago anyway But but I am the only way I get exposed to K-pop Is through Reddit And I always see these like

Flat-chested flat-assed average-looking Korean chicks like popping it on stage and shaking their non-existent asses. Tell me more about their flat time. I don't get it. It's like, and then the other day I saw the first, there's like two hot ones.

There's one with like some big old titties and there's one that almost flat shows you your pussy every time. Nice. Yeah, yeah, but I don't understand how that's so popular. Those girls don't seem that hot to me. I'm more of a Sidney-Sweeney kind of guy with them big old milkers, all right? and virtually every one of these k-pop girls is is just a flat do they have do any of them have big milkers

yes i'm trying to find the one because i don't know their fucking names and even if i did they're korean names so they're all goofy oh jing ping look up jing ping it's no way that works i'm not looking that up i thought i didn't think you fell for it i thought you wanted to know what it would do that's what i thought i like all right i'll see what that happened Well, it let's even have it. The stupid Jing Ping pops up. I'm kind of curious. J-N-G?

How do you spell that? J-I-N-G, P-I-N-G, Jing-Ping. Yeah, that... Okay, that is a little weird. I wouldn't like that. This girl is apparently named Kwanan Nubi. Stupid fucking name. Ooh.

This I can get behind. This makes sense. She's got like a Western thing going on with the, like a Daisy Duke kind of cowgirl thing going on. And so just a big old milkers. This makes complete sense. Huge. Is this what K-pop is? Apparently Sto-Taylor. You can see her underwear.

I feel like it's softcore porn sort of like plausibly deniable softcore porn. Yeah. Right? She's doing these hip thrusting moves where I can see up her pants and her white cotton panties

and I'm like, tell me that. Well, a wardrobe malfunction. No, that wardrobe is working exactly as intended. Yeah. And look at how heavy her tits are when she does the little static bounce. Very heavy. Very heavy. I'm still not a boobie. I barely looked at her boobs. I know. He was talking about her pants. And I'm like, I forgot she had a bottom half. Like, she's literally got, she got like. I couldn't tell you what her face, nor her bottom half looked like. I didn't tell you what color her underwear was. That's, I didn't realize that at all because Kyle and I are pussy loving straight guys

and that means that we love those big tits flopping around. Your crazy argument falls on falls flat when I'm the only one who looked inside her pants. Damn it.

No, she looks hot as hell. I love those big heavy titties shaking around. Those were almost, not almost. They were in the realm of Sidney Sweeney Titties which I'm a big fan of her too I've heard she's an actor

that's wonderful good for her she does dances around and says lines yeah look at it with her her body of look at her wearing that fucking curtain that Taylor that's a picnic tablecloth it looked terrible

she could have worn anything and looked spectacular huge shout out love that bitch I was on the Reddit picture, the one picture where you can really see your nipples and some guy had zoomed into her neckline and was like, look how sloppy the stitch work

is. Dude, what fag? What a complete fag to watch a video of her with her tits heaving about and being like, I'm not sure about this. To be fair, once he zoomed in, the neckline really did

look bad. Like it looked, it looked like sloppy like like it was a bad job but I would have never ever noticed that ever she needs a made in the USA tablecloth to wear instead oh big fan of her big fan of her she might be my favorite like like like pop star girly girl type person that that's although Britney Spears still got it I don't know if you follow Britney Spears so Taylor you probably don't know this Britney Spears has been mentally ill for 42 years now and um yeah And she goes on social media, barely dressed and like dances and dances with like those fake knives and does stuff. She did that that one time, but she's, you know, that's a couple of years ago.

I thought they were fake. We went back and forth on whether they were actually fake or not. They did appear to be a prop at one point. I think we looked at. But every time I see her, she's showing more skin. I don't know if she's gotten her pussy out yet. I was an exiled says she still has it. I would argue she still has some of it.

like prime brittany was so much better than current brittany that's true prime brittany in the early two thousands i remember because i would see pictures of her in public and like placard stands at like game stop when i was 10 and then i would masturbate at home to it i saw her i was an adult and she was on cnn being interviewed by tucker carlson on the iraq war she's like she's like I don't really don't. Oh, man. I'm like, what are we doing here? This is something I'm just, I'm just curious about.

Like, why are you in support of it? I wish more actors and actresses did that. Like, I'm not a politics guy. Boom. Just lay it out. You know, like that, that's not many. You got any questions about guitar? I'm fucking awesome at that.

Like, that would be the answer. Hang, I got a recent video of her sort of teasing on Instagram. She's pretty clobbed in this one, which is not how I usually see her. She's usually in like just bra and panties. But, oh, oh, this is, no, my. Ooh, she almost lifts up to the point of pussy. Only fans adjacent. Hell yeah.

Yeah, so she does like stuff like, that and stuff like this. Just sort of like flirty almost nude. She'll like move her panties around so she almost shows her pussy. It's any day now, any day now. I checked on Paige Van Zant the other day. There's girls that do only fans.

I check on them every, you know, three to six months to see if they've taken the next step in their careers. We've got some comments involved. Kyle keeps us in the loop. Like this is what Paige Van Sanne is doing. This is what Brittany's doing. This is what Finster's doing. The people on Reddit just have to be, the

comment that have to be the greatest group of all time but like people used to send me clips the last thing i got sent a finster was just his ass just just him bent over with his whole ass showing and i'm just like i blocked that person i haven't got anything since he's graduated to butthole pictures okay okay tell me when he's not doing solo work page benzant has has um she she has she shows everything i think i think she plays with dildos uh there's there's butthole and full pussy I think she's done girl-girl stuff. Does she have a nice pussy? I would say a good, like a six and a half out of ten, maybe a seven out of ten.

I'm pretty picky, though. Would you munch it? Yeah, it's big, and damn. You'd have to. Yeah, yeah, I'd wanted to put me in like a triangle. He's in a triangle at the time, right? Yeah, I wanted to take me in and out of consciousness as we go. I want to sort of live in that twilight zone half a lot, half bed.

All right, Kyle, you're kind of selling it. All right. Yeah. like they it's like autoerotic asphyxiation but it's just a you a former UFC but it's all blood jokes yeah it's all blood jokes I mean that's what the art erotic asphyxiation is they're they're their their blood choking themselves while they jerk off and like are they yeah I don't know why I assumed it was air chokes but you're probably right it sounds like you know yeah these comments on this Reddit you're linking are so gay they're not even like guys being horny

being like nice tits it's that picture of Brittany and the time comment is, I've always been fascinated by her boobs, not in a pervy way. I'm gay. One minute, they're small. The next, they're huge. The next flatter. The next, they look like D's iconic. And it's like who, what sort of community allows that to be the top comment. It should be a guy. It should be a guy being like, I make big comes to this. And even then, who comments that? Who's like so into jacking off that they're like, I should leave a comment. I should leave a comment on this. I should type something out about how I feel.

Do you guys remember when Jenna Marvels did like a public service announcement on sports bros? Dude, it was great. I'm not, I hope this story is going to might be 80% accurate. But if I recall, people were all blasting like Olympic gymnasts boobs or something like that. Maybe some other Olympic sports all have. having small boobs and she's like you guys don't know what you're talking about and she's like this is me in a regular bra and there she is all boobalicious this is me in a sports bra smushed small hardly there this is me with two sports bras on and it's even like less and i'm like

god you know what it's just what i needed i wasn't aware of the impact that they have now i get it I'll judge differently. I feel like Jenna Marbles is almost her own like internet history thing now. Dude, I kind of like it. She went huge on the internet, made what I think might be eight digits, and then removed every video, removed and just lived her life in retirement. I think she initially was like a like a barstool sports hired on personality and then became so big that it was. It was like she cut ties, did her own thing. There was a little bit of, like, drama there.

I think they felt like because they elevated her from nothing to something, they're responsible for some of her career. And she's like, dude, when I left you, I was just a little more than nothing. And I did all this on my own. And maybe they both had some validity to their argument. Maybe. I'm still pervin on Britney Spears over here. You're pervin on her?

Oh yeah, I found a whole thing here. Have you found pussy pics yet? No, actually that exists. There's an upskirt of her from back in the day, I think. I remember they up, there was a time... I won't look at that. I'm too respectful. I won't do that. That's a good link. Don't link that. This one's called

I feel bad for her kids if you want to... I think there might be music. There was a time when all the it girls in Hollywood were flashing their pussies to paparazzi on purpose. like Lindsey Lohan did it and Paris Elton did it and Tara Reid did it

and I'm pretty sure Britney Spears also showed it too because I remember Harry Potter did it I'm not sure it was intentional Well that was the day she turned 18 She was upskirted by British Paparazzi and because she Why would the British paparazzi wait for 18 I think 16's their year

That's for consent not pornography Oh okay It's important to know these things in my circles I'm glad I have you here He's in character as the Tiger King listeners That goddamn Carol Bass Her post team was fantastic But it couldn't be shot

Oh you got the upskirt of Brittany Let's see Yeah there you go there you go There's a better one where you get It's a little beefy I remember thinking even when I saw it When I saw it in like 2008 or whatever I was thinking like eh

Seemed better Yeah Every so often There you go actually you know what this is much better than remember. It must be Lindsay Lownd's got the beefer. This is a really nice pussy that Britney has. I had to correct myself on that.

This is, that's an 8 out of 10 there, maybe nine. Solid. Big shout out to Britney Sears Posty. No. Oh, maybe.

Yeah, but I've never noticed it before. It's really hard to tell. And that's Paraselt in the background if you don't, he didn't notice. I noticed. I noticed.

Big fan of her, too. Nice. Nice little pussy there. Good for her. she did lose it a little bit seemingly Find Lindsay Lohan's pussy for me, Zach while you're up to no good over there Jarvis find a Lindsay

Louis who needs AI when you have Zah If I'm a picture of Lohan's pussy real quick I remember watching movies with Lindsay Lohan in them in like Kirby the early 2000s and like not caring what they were about but just being in awe at how big her tits were

There you go. There's a little pussy. All right. That's better than I remember it, too. I think I've seen a different angle of this. A little pussy there. Yeah. But anyway, my point is clearly made here, but there was a time when they just showed their pussies off constantly. On purpose.

Like, there you go again. There's a different photo on a different day. She's in a boat on this one and got her pussy out. Like, that's clearly on purpose. My balls have never fallen out of my pants unintentionally. Yeah. They've only fallen out when it's a joke and you pull your test. out and then you make some look at it. He's got a fucking mom. Look, he's got all three of them together

here. Zach's the man. He's got literally Britney Spears pulls right next to like all three of them were like flashing their clams. I swear to God, this photo that Zach has found is all in the back seat of a car with all of their pussies out. This is expert level. This is this is this is some expert shit dude. I wasn't fully convinced they were doing it on purpose until the three of them went out at the same time spread their legs with no underwear and skirt like you know what this is like but i want i need a third a second camera to like show me where that camera man is because i feel like he's like all right girls you're ready yes like hang on i got a lint stuck to my clam let me pick that off he's like brittany you have a

skittal stuck next yeah get that off there and like then he's like taking the clam pick that's clearly planned to plot it in i mean orchestrated kyle looks like brittany has the most simpish Pussy, which is your preference. Let me look again. And then Paris Hilton has a pretty bogged standard pussy.

I'm happy with all these guys. And then I can't tell with Lindsay Lohan because her legs stretched in a way and so it's it's looking a little wait. Hang on, I say it. Let me enhance. Yep. Okay. I'm going to rank these

I'm going to say Britney has the best vagina. I'm going to say now I would prefer Lindsay Lohan, but I think Paris Hilton has a prettier vagina. I think Emma Watson might be top. Did you look? Well, you don't see any of Emma Watson's. You just see the top of her pubic

hair. Oh, well then that I'm a bit of a vagina historian. I will admit she's in a conversation. You generally see more than the top of her pubicare. I would differ in opinion. I believe that I'm staring at. it. Link it then.

I want to see. Oh, it's the last link. Oh, well, I've never seen this photo before. My goodness.

I feel like the Lindsay Lohan is, the Lindsay Lohan is doing her dirty, I think, a little bit. She's not, she's not in prime pussy picture mode the way the other two are.

No. Well, are you comfortable ranking her again? I would argue that Oh, now that I've got the M. Watson photo. I mean,

I don't feel like, we can't see right, She could be imperfect and it could be masked by her body language. And also, are you, is it possible Emma Watson's was not on purpose? It definitely not on purpose. She's definitely not on purpose. I remember she's talked about this before.

She's not happy about this. The picture I saw, it's more of a top down, like you see the top of her lap. She's not happy about it. Then fucking wear underwear. She's wearing underwear. Wait, where is it? Where is the underwear? I think it's just transparent.

Like, that's clearly not nothing. I mean, I can't tell looking, right? There's a, you're telling me there's a transparent bit of fabric in front of her puzzle. I don't think she's wearing underwear there, Kyle. I thought she was. Oh, maybe not. That doesn't look like it to me.

Now, Zach thinks he's wearing stockings. I think she's too. I thought I was seeing her hair too clearly, but I'm not wearing glasses. You're right, Kyle. like she's too primed up for the perfect pussy pick here I don't think you can include her in the same one poor Lindsay Lohan

she was not ready for that picture I don't think but who knows it could have been great could have gripped like a retarded kid like you don't know all the H-Ks dealers had that was the memorable one

that pussy grab on to you like a retarded kid with a dirty lollipot. He won't turn it loose. Don't turn it loose. Then I see these other pictures of poor old Brittany dancing around like a complete loon. That's good.

That's all video. I think there's music, like I said. I'm a big fan of Brittany. I hope she escalates into a nudity phase. I would love that. I remember when she was 16 when I was like, I don't have 12, something like that. So I've been a fan of her for my entire life.

I'm going to guess she's like 42, 43. She's 42, 43? She's 43, but, oh. And so she was always, what are you, 39? Yeah. She's four years ahead of you. Makes sense. I remember, like, seeing her being hot as hell as someone five years younger than you.

And in my head thinking, like, I'll never get her. I'm too young. I can never get a woman. You were right. I was right. I was correct. I remember when she married that Kevin Fetterline guy and thinking,

maybe there's a chance. And then that guy seemingly made out like the bandit of bandits where he's like, yeah, we don't have kids. And also, I want your money. And then they divorced. And he got real deal, Britney Spears money for years. I don't know what KFED's deal was I remember he was a rapper or some shit

What do you got here? This is the other Emma Oh yeah that's the one I was talking about Yeah I remember those panties Those look uncomfortable Do they? I don't have a vagina

But if I did I would imagine That would kind of gum up the works It's just panties They have stripes They look really breathable like I mean I can see there's almost nothing there in that

it's like less than lace yeah good times I'm keeping both these links for later huge shout out to all these Woody's coming up with this week I mean all right Zach Zach's link is is goaded All these are Zach's left

I had no idea that existed and I consider myself a pussy historian and then Woody's angle of Emma Watson here That was Zach look again It's all Zach he's killing it what a man Zach has shown us a lot of clam

I can't take credit for the man's achievements and that's fine yeah good friend impressive thank you Zach for all your works

is uh is Sidney Sweeney's pussy on display anywhere um that one video I sent you is sir getting I don't think so now Zach said I'll look

we got our tough guys on it find it find it that would be great We need to do this show live on Chatterbate so we can share this sort of thing. Ah, I see, yes. Or on our only fans' content. That's what we need.

Mm-hmm. On our O-F. Yeah. That's the place to do that. Well, I'm looking for Sidney's Vagina, but I'm just fine. I'm just fine. Let, let Zach look. He says tits here.

I know her tits are out in places, and those are fantastic. Good for her. That might be from a role. She doesn't shy away from showing her top. Yeah, she gets topless in movies and TV a good bit, I think. I know she was topless a lot in euphoria. If I was as good at anything as she is at having big tits, then I would be popping myself out there.

I'd be trying to get a deal out of it. That's what it seems like. Are you doing anything for Halloween, like besides this? I'm buying candy and then waiting for children to arrive. That sounds sinister taken out of context, doesn't it? Right? Buying candy, I guess it does. He just keeps it in the van.

I just keep it around. I'm waiting for kids to come around. Waiting for kids to shove. That's what Halloween is. I make sure I buy one of those value bags, but that I buy one of the good value bags that has Twix, Reese's, Snickers, the good stuff

none of the horse shit I will never give out fucking dumb dumb lollipops or toothbrushes or toothbrush oh my god

what about apples I would never I would never I would never give out an apple never I like to teach the kids a lesson that lesson being some people do lace

their edibles with LSD when they come I I thought about being a soda house where I would have like full sugar sprites coaks pepsies I thought about that too yeah they sip it up because I remember as a young kid those were the houses I appreciated a lot where there would be like hard work yeah I was doing the hard work I was grinding what did you put your candy in did you have the basket that was a pillow case that's what I graduated to as a little

little kid i had a plastic pumpkin with a handle on it that was like served as a basket and then maybe somewhere along the way i had a plastic bag with a pumpkin on the outside you know a Halloween trick-or-tree bag but eventually the pillowcase when we started getting the real halls yeah the pillowcase is the way to go that's what the people i think i always said that i think i always said that orange pumpkin but then whenever we needed to because we were driving from house to um you know you could you could dump in a third is that even easier well like where we live like the neighborhoods are separated and stuff so like my parents would just drive from house to house park outside we'd get out of the car go hit the house and then they just maybe they'd follow along if there's three houses right in a row like I wouldn't get back in the car to go to the neighbor's house but usually it's like stop at this house drive down the road stop at this house like in the country yeah but I didn't go trick-or-treating in the country there were towns and then by the time I turned whenever I got a driver's license, Halloween became a different

thing. It became a night of mischief and tomfoolery where I, for whatever reason, like, I think I just watched too many movies and I wanted to do things I saw in the, because I, but I wanted to teepee a house. Like, nobody tepeeed houses. Nobody tepeeed houses for real.

We did. We did. We were, we were those kids at the grocery store buying 48, whatever they come in, either 48 or 96 eggs in the giant stacked cartons. We got one of those. Oh, you were egging. Egging and toilet paper, yeah, yeah. In New Jersey, that's normal. I didn't realize other states didn't celebrate mischief night.

We teepied houses too. Did you? But it was like almost an official thing. Now, no one, like, people frowned on it for sure. And teachers gave out onerous amounts of homework the night before, you know, on mischief night. But I don't think I ever really vandalized anyone's house. I would tell you if I did. But I don't think I participated.

But people did. it was widespread like that i was going to ask if you'd ever forked a house because that's one that we never did so in the yard yeah you see so it's that's too much effort see that's the thing it's more it's it's it you have it's equal to on the removal if there's if there's if there's like half a dozen kids it's not that much effort for you all to run around for for five minutes sticking forks in the ground but then the next day when there's 300 forks stuck in the ground and the owner has to come outside it's a fucking hassle like it's a huge mess to clean up

because they're just stuck in your fucking yard we didn't do that that's almost playful like egging people's cars like it's it can be a little destructive it can damage the paint

yeah damages the clear coat yeah the clear cut thank you so that one like I'm like man is our right versus wrong fucked up on this mischief night thing we didn't hit we didn't hit cars

I don't remember ever hitting a car even houses with eggs? Yeah, I remember one time we had gone out egging all night, like me and two buddies, and then we went back to where our cars

were parked and they got out of my car and they all got into their cars and everybody was going home. And my buddy, Raleigh, decided to egg one more house on the way home. And he eggs somebody who lived like a mile from my house, but they caught him. And then he was like, we all got to clean the eggs off their

house. And I'm like, what do we? we. I'm like that Walter White meme. There is no we. Yeah. You got caught.

But I like showed up anyway. And I'm telling the guy I'm like, I didn't egg your house. I'm here to clean it up because he made the mess. And he said, I'm like, he's like, oh sure, sure, sure. And I'm like, I didn't egg your fucking house.

I egg every house in the county except for yours. There's eggs in my truck right fucking now. I'll egg your house tonight, you piece of shit. That's what I'm really thinking, but it's like, I didn't egg your house. I'm just being nice and cleaning it up, so there will be no trouble here. It was the same thing with the mailboxes, that Raleigh kid. He went and got caught smashing mailboxes, and they made him pay for it and replace it. A cop saw him hit the mailbox and pulled him over, and he had to go, like, he had to go buy a mailbox and a post and put it all in.

Right, he got greedy. He had to get one more. He had to, you know, he got a little loose on his, uh, uh, uh, uh, He was doing in the middle of the day. He's going hog wild. You got to do that at night. But yeah, I always liked getting up to mischief when I was a kid. I liked the egg houses and fuck with, because I wouldn't egg random houses.

That seems silly. That seemed mean without any purpose. I would get people I knew. Like, I would get people I knew. There was one guy we had beef with at school and we would just, I don't know, twice a week we'd get him. Like twice a week, we'd do something to his house. his poor dad his dad had left him

just his mom if it makes you feel me better he always had a rebel I knew which bedroom was his when we drive past their house because his bedroom window was a rebel flag that he had like fucking stuck up to the glass anyway we'd get him every fucking week we'd egg him we'd tomato him we'd toilet paper him

just anything we could do he was he hated us he knew it was us and you just kept doing it for years two years maybe yeah something like that I would also firework people I like to do that a lot we'd go over in the South Carolina

and buy fireworks and get those big rolls of them and I put it on somebody's doorstep that I didn't like and then I'd take a cigarette and pinch the tobaccoy part off the butt and then stick the fuse in that torn tobaccoy in

and then you know when it burns down it lights the fuse so now I've created like a two minute fuse so I'm gone I've sprinted way off into the night To my truck parked a quarter mile away And then the distance I hear Like echoing away

And I know that I just scared the fuck out of them Because 250 fireworks just went off on their porch I don't know I was always getting up to mischief I'd still The thing is like people think you grow up I'd still be doing that shit if I could Like if I could if I thought if I can get away with it

Like if I weren't a fucking 40 year old felon That is That is a weird thing about getting older is I always thought I would grow into an adult like that at some point my silly nonsense thoughts and I think you do it a little bit without noticing like a little I have this memory of middle school kids singing and jumping to a jingle like a commercial song and they just thought it was the greatest thing I don't know call it the Toys R Kids song if anyone knows it. as a 50-something year old

that's not attractive to me at all. It just seems stupid and instantly its charm would be gone. So I'm like, God, on the other side of that coin, on the other side of that coin, I'm literally in the shower this morning. Fresco's better with fun.

Fresco's better with life. Mentos fresh and full of life. I'm in there singing the fucking Mentos theme song. You're singing the Mentos advertising jingle from 1998? It's stuck in my head forever, Taylor.

as I'm telling that story I'm like you did just prank your wife into singing for the dogs to poop and pee maybe I haven't grown up at all hilarious that is a very good prank why do you teach you the dance don't let her

don't let her listen to this episode keep doing it oh she never listens to these is terrific that's awesome Taylor are you playing any video games at all I know what he's got his what he's got his night rain his Eldon ring he's been dipping his toes into hell divers

accurate what what are you up to over there you if you found any archaic i haven't been i haven't been gaining as much in the past couple months i'll do uh i'll play a oe two once in a while with my buddies and outside of that i've been uh 490 playing yeah that's that's that's really good for the 490 it's it's low it shows it in uh in in such tight detail yeah yeah i play pac man but i only have a 4080 so 4,000 frames per second over there that's that's that That's really about it other than Pokemon because I am of the generation where Pokemon was like a really formative game and thing for us. And so now every three to four years,

I will check and be like, what is the newest Pokemon game? What console is it on? And then I'll buy whatever that is and I'll play it every three to four years. And so that's what I've been playing. I've got a dope-ass Pokemon game. Pokemon in the slightest. I understand 6-7

better than Pokemon. I don't know what 6-7 means because I'm also a boomer, but a turn-based combat for Weeboos is all it is. It's paper Mario for little Japanese girls. That's what it is. Well, you also have to look at the...

Oh, I do 5 attack, and you have three defense. That's two. Now it's your turn. Oh, you're a plant type? Well, remove one. Let's get out of here with that simplistic. It's basically that if they weren't

if they weren't a bunch of cutesy flutesy homo characters that all look like pink puff balls and they're all enslaved too like when you really I don't go for the cutie

blutsy characters I like the argument I like the Charzards I like the dragons the big bulls this is the tough one this is the tough one

well he doesn't look so tough well it's because I'm it's because I'm overweight how many times is that how many times is that evolved is that twice that's the it's twice it goes from charmander to charmelian to charadesard the fact you guys are being glib you've got charm million energy as though I'm the embarrassing one totally wrong you couldn't pull up a charzart if you wanted to I'm wearing a fucking charzard right now you're a charmelian at best have you seen that clip it's on site I'm gonna I'm gonna come your house and I'm gonna kill you have you seen the guy's talking to his ex-girlfriend

and she's like the fuck is your problem you're hitting on my mom now you're hitting on my mom now and he's like hey who wants a charzard when they could have a charmelian well I'm sure that wasn't the way it was said because it would have been who wants a charmilian would you have a charzard oh okay which one is the evolved one I am I am charzard I got wings. Could you put on a tag that says Charzard so I don't forget? No, that's up to you. That's on you.

You can hit your other wing with an iron so it sticks up. Well, that's something, you know, we're all deal with it. Dude, I have two eyebrows. You can draw them on every time, man. You get to get a little mascara in there and just run it through the old eyebrows. Get used to this. It's my new look. I love that. You're so much more.

You ever see when they put eyebrows on a dog? How wonderful it is? All right, Google that. Zach, show me dogs with eyebrows drawn on real quick. Show me dogs with eyebrows drawn on because I'm going to tell you right now. It's going to brighten your whole fucking day. You're weak, nay, your month, okay? You're going to go into November on a high note because you saw dogs with eyebrows.

They are so expressive and loving when they now have like cartoonish eyebrows. Same thing with babies. You've ever seen babies with eyebrows? I don't know about that. That's not a good example, Zach. He's angry. Simoid? Samoyd?

What is that dog? Oh, gosh. Oh, look at that. I like when they draw him on, though, on like a short hair. I imagine he usually has crusties around his eyes. This is photo day. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, shit. What the heck? See what I'm talking about? A little man's got some expression. Yeah. Look at him. He's saying, what's up? those

those little snaggle teeth are the cutest thing in the world where they have like a little tooth that doesn't fit in their mouth right like the previous one that's so cute this is what I'm talking about

this is cute as shit I expected more happy and goofy some of these are angry and scared yeah yeah a lot of them look scared there you go that guy I'm a left he's a winner And that guy on the right He's so pensive

That guy on the right bites children You can tell Like he's done some shit The one on the left Has never bit a child Oh And this one he's got He's got kind of my eyebrows

Yeah Yeah I don't like that dog Or it just grows and grows and grows I don't like that dog's face I mean that's a cute little pup Oh fuck look at that That's a little palm isn't it?

It looks like a mix of a few things, but yeah, it looks kind of like palm-y. Palms are brown. Am I wrong? They can be lots of colors, really almost any color you can imagine. Yeah,

runs the gamut. Look at me when I'm talking to, yeah, I don't like that. That's an adorable little dog. That's cute as hell. You get a dog, dude. Go ahead, get yourself a dog.

Go and pull the trigger on that. Oh, and look at it. that mournful looking old man. Look at how thoughtful he is. What kind of dog would you get, Taylor? I would probably get more cavapoos. A mix of poodle and Cavalier King Charles. Cavapos are very little dogs and they're adorable.

They're so sweet and so cute. And the poodle side makes it so they don't, they've got none of the shedding. And then the cavalier side makes it, like, negates. the poodle high energy part and makes them just like we want to chill we want to hang out we want to be like cuddly dogs which if you have a little dog and not like acres for them to run on that's a good thing to have like they just want to chill they don't have the the requisite need for as much energy expenditure as like a border collie or certainly not an Australian Shepherd my daughter's dog is so high energy it's ridiculous his name is cedar i call him boing boing because he's just jumping all the time

like a rubber ball and like when i see him he likes me he jumps up and i catch him at like belly level and he's like 45 pounds now 50 pounds 40 that's a big dog to be catching at belly level he's bouncing everywhere he's he's always has zoomies it's what it was their bull's i it's not mine i prefer lazy dogs but her and her boyfriend it's what they wanted he's super active with him and yeah that's what's his type he looks like a chocolate lab but he's only part lab he's a mix of some sort

okay yeah those are sweet dogs I yes I love the the little snugly ones which is probably what Kyle experiences with the palm that he is a little bit annoying but he really just wants to snuggle with you all the time. Is that right, Kyle? Yeah, pretty much.

He'll either, he goes back and forth between being under the bed on the cold floor, I think, when he gets too hot. Because I can hear him under the bed snoring. I call him a dust bunny. I can hear him under there. And then he'll get into bed and he snuggles, like, right against me, like with all of his might. Toby's the same way. Toby sleeps in the bed between my girlfriend and I, and he just, like, he spoons with us. like he snuggles up with us completely he's uh he's the snugliest cuddliest um dog i've

ever had by far like he really just wants to be with you right next to you head in your lap or just touching you somehow even if his like back paw is just sort of against you he's like all right i feel safe now my dogs look the same i don't know if this happened to you taylor because your dogs look similar to but like you're watching them like maybe i'm taking them outside to do their business and I'm like I'm not sure if they both pooped or if I got parent trapped yet again yeah just mixing it up on me maybe Jody went double I can't tell but they're their parent trapping us all the time Kyle what is this fantastic link I just got you all the Sydney short Sweeney nudes in existence compiled into one

This is on a site called babes raider.com. I think this scrolls infinitely. If you keep scrolling, I think it's, it says infinite scroll. And I certainly haven't gotten to the bottom yet. Oh, I did. I made it. I got all the way to the bottom. Yeah, lots of good content in there.

She's brushing her teeth with her pussy out. I think that that's what's happening. I think that that is from back when all the nudes got leaked. Well, this is a great web page. This is solid. You can't really see what she offers down below. At least I haven't found it. No.

I'm going to look into her gynecological record, and we're going to get to the bottom of it. I want to know. Yeah. People think she's all cool because she shows her assets, but she's keeping secrets. That's true. What if her pussy is, what if it's all aimed up by AIDS?

I don't know if AIDS mangles a pussy But maybe it's all Maybe she got into like a A gardening accident And an aerator just tore all up down there That's more likely than what I said for sure You know those What's that what's that auto-trowling thing

What's that tool for? Teller, yeah What if a tiller got after her And she just just got her pussy If she lost her pussy in a tiller accident I would be so sad She'd lose it It's just mangled beyond recognition.

Like, if you looked at it, you would think that it was like a half-eaten roast beef sandwich. You would think that somebody didn't enjoy their Arby's. I'd put up with that to get the rest. There's a subreddit devoted to women who weren't happy with their labias and had, like, plastic surgery on it. Have you seen it, Kyle? Yes. I've, haven't seen it. I've recommended it to people before.

Kyle is pro genital mutilation, whether it's circumcision or. A lot of the pictures are women who are concerned about their outcomes. Now, it's typically what happens is they're like four weeks post-surgery and they're not getting what they want, but they're still healing and they don't know where they're going to end. But, yeah, they weren't happy before or after. I don't like that. Be confident with your pussies, lady. I've seen some, the ones I've seen looked awesome after. It was like, oh, you made it perfect.

like you made it like a you made it perfect um all the after effects that i've seen because i knew you like you like that they clipped off their oh yeah i offered to pay for it for a girl one time i was like i like send her links to like befores and afters and i was like i'm like six thousand dollars you know i don't get that thing taken care of you that is that's hilarious by the way thinks about that conversation twice a week. Oh, yeah. The idea that you're like, well, she brought it up first. Yeah, yeah, we have sex and we, we have a good time.

But how about I pay for you to get your fucking cunt lips clipped? Yeah. And it's only $6,000. And then she's got it in her head be like, oh my God, I must be horrible down there for him to bring this up anyway. First of all, she knew. Was she horrible? Did she have a bad pussy? I'll say like a

Was it a little? Was it just a little meaty? I got a picture somewhere I'd say like a four out of ten You know Like like so bad Like she wasn't happy with it either She was like not happy with that thing either

She was embarrassed by it Like it was a mess down there It was a lot It was a lot Did you get in the mix though? Did you fight in the battles You got the mix? I mean

I fought a good fight You know But in the end You know It was just a war of a War of attrition We lost we lost a good fight and uh she chose not to get the surgery and we had to part ways you were that

you were that guy you were that guy saying just one more just storming back it's no like like i just think it's really a turn off when that thing's a mess down there if there's a lot of if it's it's a big old beefer it's not into that at all it for me and i get we differ in this way it has got to be so out of pocket for me to even notice that it's insane like it's got to be completely out of a completely out of control situation

for me to be closely looking at a girl's pussy and be like oh there's something wrong because otherwise it's just you know it's just a pussy let me head on over to labia gone wild and let me try to find an example of what I would consider

borderline at best I think that's where to go and then we'll see if it if you find it to be acceptable. Not just in a hookup. I'm not saying if we're going to hook up with this person you'd leave the room. But this is like, could you date a person who has one of these? Well, you find a few

good ones. Because I have to pee, and I have to take this whole fucking outfit off the pain. Well, hang on, before you pee, you can hold a little longer. Check out this thing right here. Let me take a look. Let me take a look. What are you thinking about this thing? You're going to be able to live with this? That's a lot. you can me live with that that's that is a lot it is a lot isn't it that's a lot i don't want her to feel that about herself but she needs a guy

who likes that i'm a big fan of those titties on the top and so i would you'd suffer through it i would suffer through that yeah 100% okay that is a lot of pussy though this girl has she measured hers it's seven and a half inches um what do you what do you think about this girl's dangling participle um because like these girls dangling participle let's see these girls can't even wear regular panties like like that's the other thing like these girls when they shop for underwear are this girl couldn't ride a horse comfortably she's got so much hanging out down there this in such a honestly so i'm generally i want people to feel good about themselves but i feel like she has

something that needs to get fixed i can't hide these 7.5 inches of pussy in the these pants. Well, where's the 7.5 inches coming from? Is that the stretch? Yeah, I feel like she stretched it, right? And while these are outliers that I find completely disgusting, I'm trying to find one that I find to be borderline where I would, you know what I mean?

I got to tell you, I'm okay with all this so far as long as they have nice to. Are you seriously? Wow. I mean, I'm not happy about it, but I'm, I'll do it. Yeah. It's not that I'm rejecting them. I want to be non-judicial.

mental but it's like you this is impairing your life this is a lifestyle impact problem yeah it's like and i brought this up and i was countersignaled by you guys who are older than me that my scrotum and my testicles 100% hang noticeably lower than they did eight years ago like it's it's starting to get and now like when it gets really hot it's like just a a big taffy bag so I find this one to be borderline but again too ugly to date really this couldn't be like my oh there's it looks it looks like it looks like dehydrated beef liver has been stuffed into her it looks it's like I zoomed in

it's like the texture it looks like it looks like a rotten chunk of porcupine brain has been has has like been been flicked onto her her pussy it that is such a turnoff i could i would never eat that pussy i just a little bit of pussy dude i would feel sorry for my penis going in there i'd be like sorry guy you gotta take another one for the team you could pull them apart you could you could stretch them oh my god stretch armstrong that thing that no that that's that one's that it's too ugly it's not that it's too big it's just that's ugly if you were gonna hook up with the girl and she had that pussy you'd be you'd be calling an audible i wouldn't walk out but i couldn't

date her that's my like that that that's what i'm used for my like decider like like it's got to be pretty bad for me to walk out like some of those girls with those like hanging participles earlier like those dangling not ridiculous things like i don't know maybe walk out of the room on some of those depending on how it looked in in rl i don't know they look bad man that's just not a turn on for me. Like, that matters to me. That matters to me more than, I think, some things that matter to you more. Like, I would rather have a pretty pussy and an average face than a beautiful face and an ugly pussy. I disagree. Yeah, I think you're in the minority on that one. Yeah. I would rather have a set of perfect, fantastic titties and a pussy I got a work through than the opposite.

where it's just horrible tits and then a nice pussy. Yeah, I mean, I mean, that's also a deal breaker. If someone the other day, there was this picture of this chick with some really lopsided tities, like one of them was like down to her belly button and the other seemingly was firm and perfect. And he was like, look at Miss Forrest Whitaker titties. You know, that could actually be the ultimate experience. You flip her on either side, you're fucking a different.

girl. It's like two-faced from Batman. Close your eyes and grab both pretend it's two girls. Yuck. Fucking yuck. Same thing with a butthole. Like I've told you before, like I dated that

I won't say what kind of chick. I dated that girl who just gave black, man. She wasn't. She gave those entirely two wet blow jobs and her butthole was ugly. Too wet of a blow job. That's never something

what the hell did she take it too deep also there's too much moisture on your penis as she's yeah way too much first of all it's like i can't imagine let me this is the this is the gayish she's foaming at the mouth down i don't think kyle likes women oh so she's foaming i'm sitting in a puddle she's foaming at the mouth sucking your cock and you were sitting there going uh i don't like a shiz she looked like in an old wolfman movie when they start transforming and they start she did there was a puddle of of saliva that's like under my balls like the mattress has a noticeable soaked spot this fucking big and i can't feel anything that happens there's no friction it's tell me more for another minute i'm getting close i'm not done yet and then she like wanted me to

fuck her in the ass and she had the ugliest butthole had ever seen it was the ugliest butthole ever seen and there was like and i was like ah maybe next time and then i just like like kick the kick the can down the road and what did you uh what did you really say because that would be funny to me you didn't say maybe next time would you say i did say maybe next time i i literally did i was i was yeah maybe next time we'll do that i think i'm almost spent out here i was so she was a she was a butthole surfer and a wet bj giver and you what a nightmare oh my god the horror she wanted you to plug up her ass and suck your cock so liquidy that it

it was too much it was way too much saliva like there was no friction I couldn't feel anything you're not familiar with the other downside she was pretty she had Sidney's Sweeney boobs and a tight ass yeah it must have been horrid most of that's true she was the worst of it was

she earned a lot of money this is your fucking like Abu Dhabi experience you were standing there on the box she did do well for herself did you did you put it in her butt though no i refused i refused and i kicked the can down the road until like the relationship like ran its course and i stopped for that's fair i'm largely anti-but stuff entirely like even if a girl wants to do butt stuff it's like well you know there's actually an even better hole that's like what a downer you are oh so you're you're

lover expressed a need that she had and you shut her down not everything you do was going to be your favorite thing taylor take it you're going to do was going to be your favorite thing um this is not girls i've been in a relationship with for a while it's girls i met on the internet 40 minutes prior and they're like oh oh that's terrible oh wouldn't that because in my head i think like what this girl's getting plugged in the ass by a bunch of other guys and what if she has some ass disease Does you not think that? I literally do. What is it medieval times and a witch

told you that's how the shit works? I think she's got some She can have an ass disease. Ah, the pussy hole will remain clean, though I'm sure. Well, at least that makes sense. Even if SEDs didn't flow through the goddamn bloodstream, they're right next door to each other. It's like the right next door.

Surprisingly close. Some of the asshole diseases are going to jump into the pussy and vice versa. It's going to be like a pangolin living above a fucking musk rat. You're going to read all sorts of weird-ass TVs. Those two live in side by side. Well, I'm not having intricate internal debates. I'm just thinking gross. Like, no, I don't want to, I don't want to fuck this stranger in the ass.

You'd rather, what's the difference between fucking your stranger's ass and a fucking the stranger's pussy? Because if a stranger wants me to fuck them in the ass, it means they've been up to a lot of wild shit. So you put it in her, their whole. And so I put it in her vagina because that's how normal people have sex. See, that's not a backup plan. You're either in or you're out. Like, like that's the way I see.

That other hole was no safer. Yes, no safer at all. Yeah, yeah, and guess what? If anything is less safe. You know, fair is fair. Three time chlamydia survivor here. I've never gotten chlamydia. I've only gotten the syphilis and, and then that's it.

Yeah. I fucked this disgusting girl, like 10 years. Like 10 years ago. Yeah, it was, I got, I got clammed up, dude. And what was disgusting about her? She was like, just the clearest of clear horrors. It was the first time I had downloaded Tinder. So this is probably 20, 2016.

Not enough, not enough to put that on. And she's a veteran. She popped over. I was like, Wow, I bet all of her fat is in her tits. No. She had more. She was a great big fat person.

I wonder what was going on. Was she trying to make herself like a better package by being really slutty? I don't know. Man, I was so, I was so like depressed and in a bad spot. I fucked her on a mattress with no box spring. Oh my God. All right. So hang on, let's start from the beginning here.

So you meet this girl. talk to you chat her up on dinner and uh and she's way she's way bigger and i'm bullying her right now she wasn't actually a great big fat person she was oh she wasn't no no she was she was she was overweight she was chubby but she was not a great okay well all right was she from boise because those people aren't good no no this is the s deal when she showed up and she was bigger than you thought she was going to be what was your immediate reaction to her face nothing you just carried on as if the end were polite i was i was offered her a mountain dew maybe

I tried to be polite some frosting I tried to be polite you look like you like donuts she would have loved the donuts I didn't share in the can basically when I saw her I I hid my snacks because I knew I'd want them later and she would have feasted upon

yeah she'd eat them all up clear you out but she that was a brutal time because I was I was so I was in a bad place and I just was like I need to just get some pussy Did you go on a date with her? No, no. She showed up at my dog shit apartment at the time and then texted me from the parking lot being like, this is kind of sketchy.

And I was like, no, it's not just come up. And so then I had to go out to the parking lot. Sprint back you go past that. I had to walk out to her fucking Hyundai Alantra and be like, well, that said, the driver's side is sagging a little. you're tires on the side need some air yeah let you step on out take a look with me oh oh never mind never mind so i brought her she came up to my my apartment at the time and then i had her i was so distraught at her not being as hot as her pictures showed that i of literally sitting on the couch and i had her suck me off while she was sitting on the couch

and so she just gave me head to completion before we had sex and then we had sex afterwards and then we had sex afterwards and I led her how did you oh hang on hang on we got to go we take the step by step

step because this has got to be some this is wild with post nut clarity so you're telling me you got you got off and then you were like all right well it's getting late and she was like not for me

no work tomorrow. No. Is the bedroom this way? Is this where the mattresses on the floor? Is this where the floor mattresses? And where all of your things are clearly packed up in totes as though you're about to move? Because I was about to move. And so, yeah, that was, she gave me a head on the couch.

And I was in my head saying, like, well, her fucking tints are big enough. Who gives her shit? This is kind of nice. And then did all that. And then after the Postnut Clarity hit in, my real thought was like, I'm kind of done with this. But she hadn't got any servicing. She had just been sucking my dick. And so then we went into the bedroom and had sex.

And I remember being, fucking her and thinking in my head like never again. never again will I set myself up for this bit of failure it was a little bit of a 9-11 thing I had I had my I had my own Muhammad Atta right there terrorizing me and so that was a mistake

I shouldn't have done that but we did have sex to completion and there were a couple of times mid-thrust where I thought this doesn't smell great oh my God you are See, this has deflated your entire pussy argument.

No, I'm very anti-conum. I didn't wear a condom. Any compatriots you may have had with your ugly pussy argument earlier, right out the window and flocking over to my side, when they know what kind of an animal you actually are. This, you fuck. That was one time. You fucking ugly. She wasn't ugly. She was just probably uglier than you thought. you fucking uglier than you thought 40 pounds overweight stinky pussyed girl

disease after post nut clarity no no I'm pretty sure the spell was more of an ass problem oh my god so I had this chick hit me up on Facebook one time the decade ago or so and we started talking or whatever and I was like I think what it actually said is is I had posted on my Facebook hey I'm in like Miami for the for the week what's fun to do here what I mean is who wants to come fuck me um but so i have to rifle through hundreds of just 30 40 50 year old dudes who want me to come fishing with them or like come look at their gun collection or their car collection or i want a bar come you drink for free it's like keep your 40 dollars worth of alcohol you know like i appreciate it but i'm looking for pussy here and like this girl hits me up

and and the line i'm looking for is i'm fun and i'm fun to do here or something something like that a little, like playing it. And I'm just like, got her. And so this girl hits me up. And it's, it is a little suspect, but when you're horny, you sort of like make yourself believe some,

some false narrative. It's like the photos have this like angle where they're like, the camera's above her a lot. She's always looking up at the camera. Like, like she's being shot by fucking Christopher Nolan on a, on a boom camera or something. And,

and she has massive boobs. And she's sort of a heart-shaped face, but she doesn't, that's how I got got. I'm in a hotel. I'm on like the fourth, fifth floor. I'm up there a little bit. And so I have a great view of the parking lot from my hotel window. She shows up at the hotel. And I'm like, what are you wearing? What are you wearing? So I'm scoping out. She's like, I'm in a red dress. Great. Easy. Just easy. Fine. And I look. And this big hog of a bitch is walking through the parking lot wearing a red dress. And I'm like, I'm like, what shade red and she's like burgundy and I'm like yeah

I was afraid you might say that all right then she already knows the room number she's on the room she's coming I can hear down the hallway stomp stomp stomp and she comes in the door I'm picturing the water

vibrates Jurassic Park I hear the elevator I hear the fucking elevator groaning with effort. You were curious about gino sexuality. And she gets the room and I'm just like... It sounds like you did exactly what I did, dude. I did, but I almost.

And so I get into bed with her and she sucks my dick to completion. And I say, that was great. Sorry, I came so fast. Didn't mean to. I did. um how about you know because i just drove down here nine hours 12 hours whatever it was let me get a nap in and then we'll go out to dinner tonight and then we can come back here again great she loves to say she leaves the fucking hotel room at which point i begin blocking her in

every place that i have communications with her um and she like she messaged me back and her last message was like what the hell you know what's that what's this about and i'm like i just reply you know what it's about you know what it's about so you Taylor you also fucked a big fat pig I did not no fuckery she sucked my dick

but mine was way bigger than yours that's where like like like there's no how big so it's been a long time and I genuinely don't want to exaggerate but I couldn't have picked her up she probably oh wow

that's like that's a big Like, you know how a mattress? Well, no, it's not just that. You know how like a mattress is hard to get your hands around? You know, like you can lift four to mattress ways, but like actually lifting a king-sized mattress on your own is almost there's some there's some acrobatics involved, some balance.

I think that would have prevented me from getting my arms all the way. She was big. She, it's, again, I can look at men and tell like, oh, that's about 200. That's about 250. That's about 300. But with women, it's kind of hard because they're short and they're, store fat differently, but I would guess she was 200

20 pounds, 240 pounds somewhere in there. For a woman, that's a big old bitch. She was a big bitch. Like she wasn't like, she was pretty like for a big girl and she was like well dressed and she did have just gargantuan tits, but she was way too big. It was not close.

It was not some 40 pounds over like you said. But yeah, I did like. But you busted nice when she saw. suck to you. I don't remember the quality of the comies, but I do remember like the regret afterwards. I remember not offering her snacks. Because I thought after we fuck and she goes home, I want to still have snacks. Yeah, I'm going to need something to take the edge off this, just depression that I'm feeling. That was a rough time. That was I, that was the biggest bitch I ever did fuck. Why was it such a hard time in life? I think it was 20, I think it was early 2016,

if I get a back right. I had just gotten out of a relationship and I, prior to that relationship, I had never like Tinder, things like that weren't a thing. And so that was my first foray into that and started like swiping and doing these things. And then it turns out when your goal is I want to have sex right just now, what you get are blonde, gigantic fat women that are like easily 40, 50 pounds overweight. But their tits do a lot of the carrying. And I didn't know. I was a noob. I was ignorant to the angles they take photos at. And so I was looking at them earnestly. This is a great photo. This girl's got gigantic tits. I can't wait to have fun with these. it's not just that like if you were an investigator like looking at looking at some Sherlock Holmes type like clues and they and these photos were amongst them you'd be like hmm something's not right here but because you you make it I wanted it to be a thing so you think you imagine these scenarios where like who am I kidding maybe she's lost weight since the photos that she's sending me maybe she's gotten younger prettier and thinner since these photos that she's sending

me here. Oh, yeah. And then you're, you start like imagining like, okay, well, my God, those tities are enormous for someone who only weighs 125 pounds. Like, like, those must be quadruple R sized titties. Like, they couldn't be. This bitch could have eaten two of, two 120 pound women and still not been. That was rough. That was rough. I was in the moment being like, she's already here. Like, you're too polite. That's what it is. Get you. I think. I think it probably is I'm too polite because she was too big of a bitch for me to have been interested in person but then once it did happen in person it was like all right well she's like eager to do anything I want like because she knows what the score is too yeah she'll suck my dick

and let me come on her tits and then she's going to want to go into the back bedroom area in my shitty little apartment and then I'm going to have a roast meat sandwich and I did not uh I did not reciprocate. No? No. No. When I was in the back room, I had, I needed like, it was like a miracle on ice where they're like, you can do it.

You can do it. Because I struggled to. You can hear Mickey in your head from, he hasn't seen Rocky. Damn it. You can do it. You can do it, rock. You can do it. You're making them a mistake here.

His pussy is no good. It's an animal pussy. when I was looking at her on her back like a fucking wall with I was I was trying I was trying to I was like

it was one of those things I was like trying to come I was trying to finish it up like as best I could imagine a better looking girl imagine a girl who didn't lie to you you know my bed's going to speak after this you know

that's all I'd be thinking it probably did and that was another situation where like after we did that she was like oh well maybe we'll do this again and i was like uh for sure all right i got one worse than that i got one worse than i remembered it now um again facebook i think um this chick hit me up it was god fucking two in the morning it was already way too late and uh she lived in raven county if you don't know raven county is the trashiest place that i've ever been to and i've been to places it's where they used to make moonshine in the north georgia hills and when moonshine went out of favor they switched to meth And so now it's this,

it's kind of on the way to like Harris Cherokee Casino. It's the only place I've ever seen that has a Confederacy store. They just, they sell everything with a Confederate flag on it. They've got dream catchers. Tabern of a fun time. It's absurd. But she hits,

this girl hits me up. And she's like, yeah, I'm in Rape County. And I'm like, she's like, what's Russia like? And I'm like,

I'm like, actually, I'm 40 minutes away, bitch. And she's like, like wow small world and i'm just like we could make it smaller i could be there in a minute and she's like yeah come pick me up so i like i get my car go um it is about 40 45 minutes so i at two in the morning i drive to raven county and it's a mountainous area it's like like a lot of people live up on the mountains and so you've got to go on these little roads that sort of circuitous back and

forth like paths up the mountain into these little communities it's not like sketchy it's not like hill country hillbillies it's like decent houses and everything but it's just out of the way and uh pull up into this girl's yard and she's like jogging away from the house into the night in pajamas she is of age and um she gets into my car and she's like let's go and i'm like okay that was a little lot and like she goes oh you're not russian and so now we're having that conversation on the drive to the motel. Like, nope. Nope, just a goober.

We get to this cheap-ass motel there in town, and she has self-harm scars all over her thighs. Tell me again how you met her. Was it Tinder? You had pictures of her? Facebook. Facebook, okay. She's a fan.

Self-harm scars. All over her thighs. So she sucks. Poor her. all over her thighs. She's all covered up with big, nasty, thick, wide scars all over. She's on top to be riding and she is grunting like

a wildebeest and having the time of her life. I'm not so much. I distinctly remember looking to my left, like, through the blinds are open, but they're kind of like shifted down. And there's like the amber light of a parking lot

light, like shining through. And I just remember looking at everything in like, well, we got ourselves into one this time, didn't we? I'm thinking like, let's just put on a happy face and this will all be over soon. And sure enough, eventually, I think I was like, ah,

whoops, I came too early again. Oh, what's the day? This keeps happening to me. You got the same move. Yeah, you said the cell phone. She was very fit. She was pretty-ish. But she was just, just those scars.

And the grunting. She grunted like an animal, very loud, very loud. Either of those things would have been red flags for me. Well, red flags, yes, they would have not been showstoppers. And then we get done and we're getting dressed and her phone rings. And I can hear on the other side, it's a parent. And they're like, who are you all fucking this time?

And I'm like, fuck, who am I here? You're with a real home. I'm here with a real dirty girl. And I'm like, and so now I've got to drive her back home. And I'm like, I get to the mailbox. I'm like, you can get out here. you get the fuck out right here and make your way on up to the house

so I ain't pulling into that driveway I don't know who might be up there waiting and what kind of handgun cannon artillery piece they might be holding on to when I get there I've always imagined self-harm scars sort of related to being good in bed am I onto something there?

It relates to being a horror, yeah. Oh, come on, don't say that. It relates to mental illness and struggling with that and dealing with things they can't control in their life. I just said that. No, I would separate that from any other negative attributes.

That's a mental illness side effect, which I had a period when I worked or when I lived in St. Louis City in Central West End, and I had that loft that was kind of hip and fun. And my Tinder was like a buzz because I was in a good place. and I remember for like a few months I would and I can't believe I did this I would tell girls that wanted to hook up that evening that I was available to but that I had a hard out at 10 p.m. because I had to go to a friend's birthday. I always said a birthday party. And so like these girls would come over and we'd fool around and do whatever. and then as like the part that the girl wants which is like the hanging out afterward and like trying to create a relationship I'd be like oh well you know this is going great but unfortunately I got to go to my friend's birthday party and so I would have these girls leave at like like 9 p.m. and then I went to a friend's place for his birthday the one time wasn't lying about it and I was like oh yeah I just met up with a Tinder girl beforehand and then I just told her I had to come here and he was like, that's like, Taylor, I got to be on. I'm like one of your close friends.

That's like despicable. Like that's like that's, that's pretty rough of you to be telling these girls that they can come over and have a fun time. But they have to leave like an hour, like 90 minutes later. So you can make it to our little party. And I was like, yeah, maybe that is like a shit. It's not at all. No, that's perfectly fun. I convinced myself it was not a shitty thing to do.

And that is. how that's how that's how that's how i met your mother that's how condom passed came to be made in the no that's fine like like like like yeah you can go home we're done here you know like or hang out and then we'll do it again but but like you know like i guess you were pretty certain you were going to bang as soon as she got there like like how did they verbalize that uh it was because we had been chatting about fucking beforehand. Like it wasn't like a sudden thing.

It's that they made clear what their goal was. I made clear what mine was. They showed up. We did it. You also got the vibe that they wanted a relationship afterwards. They all, they were hoping to leverage into a relationship. Not all of them.

Most of them do. Yeah. Most of them do want to leverage that into a relationship. Women don't like the casual trashy. sex as much. Some do. Well, this one didn't, or these ones didn't. And so we'll

see. Jokes on her. Jokes on her. And yeah, I remember and one of those bitches fucking gave me my third round of chlamydia. Jesus Christ, you got to wrap that shit up. What is your problem, dude? I don't wear condoms. Jesus Christ, Taylor.

Condoms of a war for a home run. It is a good. Homosexuals and sailors wear condo. Whatever religion is against it is what I am and I'm not cool. Fucking hell. Condoms are the worst. Condoms are the worst.

Everyone's talking about it. Everyone knows. I ask like if we're, if we're not going to use condoms, I ask for SDD results and I provide mine as well. Like I'm looking for some like recent. That's hilarious. I've never been that careful.

I just don't use a condom and hope. Yeah. I asked about, I asked what kind of birth control are you on, not if you're on birth control. I want to know like like if they can quickly like, I want to know. And half the time

I would start using a condom both you and the girl are like, we can lose this. And then you just don't. No, never once in my fuckery have I ever shifted gears and removed the condom. If the condom was on to begin with,

then we needed it. It's like fucking going into a rainstorm with a raincoat and decided halfway through you just feel like getting wet. No, no, I knew I needed protected. I've done that a ton of times where the girl says she doesn't think the condoms need it anymore. And then you

also say, that's a huge red flag now. You're talking about a red flag. I'm sure that was the first time she said that. It was probably the first time she said that. It wasn't just my dumb ass. But yeah, that was that is a red flag. Yeah, but then you have a fun time. And then you get to have and then guess what? You get to have only thrice. And

and then the next morning you get to have a fun little actual fact-finding conversation when you drive her to CVS and go you know, what's your name? $75, huh? You know, it's weird how something stay the same price forever. You're using plan B as plan A?

Is that what you're doing? My cousin did. My cousin did that shit forever. He was using plan B as plan A. I was like, dude, that's not And that's like $50 a pop. Don't they suffer from it too? Like that's a... Yeah, they have yeah yeah it's not good for him one of my friends uh or a guy i knew wouldn't even say

friend it's like giving a dog chicken bones though you know every now and then this guy i knew gave this same girl like 50 rounds of plan B over the course of like way too short in a time right over 52 weeks yeah and and now like or i guess and i don't know either of them anymore i've just heard this to the grapevine that she can't have kids anymore because it fucked up her reproductive system because I guess just drilling that into a woman's body over and over is actually fucking horrible before them. You shouldn't.

That's why they should make it illegal. Yes. That in all forms of birth control, really. All of them. Yeah. I actually am okay with that because then it wouldn't have made it not acceptable. It would have been normal. Yeah, as long as you feel good about yourself. As long as I feel good. No, I feel like you're way too, you're way too, you're way too polite about this dating thing. Like, I'm not trying to hurry about his feelings or, like, trick anybody. I would be completely 100% honest up front. Like, like, I think we usually knew whether

she was going to spend the night or not. And 95% of the time, the answer was no. Like, you know, then you'll go home. Yeah. I mean, the, the spend the night thing was definitely interesting. And that's why with those guys, you ever feel unsafe? I kind of put the plug in, like the early on of like, I have a heart out. Like, you ever want, like, think about this. You hook up with a girl and then you're going to sleep next to her. Like, like, maybe you know her well enough to fuck her, but do you know her well enough to know that she's not going to let her boyfriend in

while you're asleep to rob you or just like pour molten sugar on you in your sleep? I didn't know any of those things, nor did I even consider it. Never want them to stay over? Maybe girls that bang on. the first night. These girls, I did not want to stay over because I was more interested in just having a fun little fleeting time than I, like, I didn't, the kind of girl who's going to come to my fucking St. Louis City apartment and have sex, the second they meet you is not the kind of girl I want in a relationship. Oh, this was the black girl phase. You're like

Travis Kelsey. You had that, you had that black girl face. Yeah. That's why I got Midi it up. I remember my boy that I worked at the car dealership with. He was the least successful of us all. He was that guy who had moved from Pennsylvania to like follow his best friend to Atlanta. His best friend was following a girl to Atlanta. So he ends up being like this, him, like two friends followed the third friend down to Atlanta. He's following a girl.

And so the three friends are cohabitating. They've all got a three bedroom apartment and the girl lives somewhere else with like another girlfriend or some shit. While he's doing all this, he's got all of his world. belongings in a storage building in Pennsylvania and his goal is to make enough money in Atlanta to pay to ship it all down. He fails at selling cars so badly. He can't pay to have it shipped down. He can't even pay the storage fees. So they auctioned off his worldly possessions. This is a 26-year-old man. He doesn't have a lot. Everything he had, his bed, the only bed he'd ever had in his life was auctioned off. His clothing, like his summer clothes, like his shorts.

like his swimwear like his extra shoes everything that he didn't have on him in a couple suitcases in Atlanta gone and so now he's and he's just destitute and depressed and the other two roommates have like nice bedrooms like they turned me around the apartment it was a nice place and and it's like oh yeah everybody's got you know normal first world belongings you go into his bedroom and dude it was an air mattress with like stuff around it and that was it there was no TV there was no internet video game system like everybody else had like first world toys and shit for like 25 year old men he had nothing he had the air mattress and he had like a charger leading to his phone next to it and like some empty nat natty lights or something like that he got a decent

looking black girl off the internet to come into that apartment and fuck him on that air mattress and it he i was like how was it and he was like went flat immediately all the air was gone We were just on a rubbery mattress on the floor the whole time. Well, there's nothing wrong with his approach. Sometimes sometimes you find a sexy-ass black girl on those apps and then you see where it goes. It was so depressing. That was just. The guys got game though.

I feel like if you live in the van life and you're still making successful connections on Tinder, something's going right for you. It's called lowering your standards. You can get a lot done when you. you do that, you know, when you get a lot done when you do that, I'm sure. But there are a lot of like fatties and a lot of red flags. And more than anything, there's a lot of prostitutes or like weird scammy things. Like I've never talked to them long enough to figure out what the fuck they want, like what their end goal is. My guess is because like my dad had a friend who got catfished by some, who knows who actually was. But they were claiming that they're like a 40 year old

like army sergeant nurse or something who's deployed overseas and they're sending photos of a very good looking middle-aged woman in like military fatigues and like nurse fatigues and like they have been flirting and going back and forth and he's been bragging about his army girlfriend for months this is a 50 year old man or something for months and he's got all these photos of her that he's like look at my girl right here and then it turned out she wanted money she wanted and there was always an excuse about why she couldn't video chat fucking oh the president's actually flying in where our

radio traffic's being restricted it'd always be something just a made-up something and at the end I think they wanted money but I've never gone down that catfish road to see what they actually want I think they I think at some point they like money you know yeah they want money they want you to like mail

them some money or wire them some money to like pay oh you know rent didn't work out or like the army didn't give me my check and a lot of times it'll be like some Pakistani beauty who has found a fat 45 year old American

she's just fallen in love with on the internet but she just needs a plane ticket and so I think a lot of the scams work like that but I can't imagine biting on that. I remember this girl

I matched on Tinder at this point fucking eight years ago whatever it was she was Asian and she said to me in like the maybe it wasn't even maybe it was bumble like one of the ones where they have to reach out to you first because she was like oh I like exotic food where would you want to take me for exotic food and it was this Asian bitch and I just like absent mindedly was like we could get a fo or we could get sushi like things like that and it immediately, just sent that off to this Asian bitch. And she was immediately like, am I the first Asian woman you've ever talked to?

Why would you suggest thaw and sushi to me? And I was like, you know why. And then she was like, she started to like lose her mind, so I unmatched with her pretty quick. You got to be like, you know, I got some math problems I could use some help with too. But don't,

you got a ride to come over here I know you don't want to drive yourself about to play that with me you get reported for racism on there you don't need that I probably got reported for racism and then I had to fuck some fucking fat white bitch as a consolation price

but yeah that she was so she was so mad at me I love ethnic food where should we go fucking sushi and or fah easy peasy what you want me if I would have said Brazilian steakhouse

you wouldn't have been a cunt about it no no she she was a bitch didn't like her yeah actually you probably dodged a bullet if she was yeah if she's gonna be bitchy about that taking it her fah you can take me yeah I'm down it's like I would I would I would not be a fan of that that's just real no it's good seems like you racially profile I love a lazy message I I Kyle in the truest sense I did racially profile and sent her a lazy message yes but in the less true sense she was she was mean to me and so that's what's important

you're like oh you're one of those smart Asians no thanks oh boo I thought you were a jungle Asian but you're a math Asian I dated I dated a jungle Asian one time she was Filipino is it Filipino she was a Filipino

yeah that's one of the journals sounds right Yeah. No, she was awesome. She was great. She was, she was, she was, she was, she was, really, her, her blow jobs weren't too wet. No, they weren't. I'm telling you, there was a pool of, of saliva. That's something I hear. People are always like there's too much moisture in my blood. I need to feel some friction, okay? If there's too much lubrication, you don't feel in that. It's like sex in the shower don't work. Okay. It's just too much. It's just too much. It's just too much. It's just too much. It's a little shampoo in there. That solves everything. Yeah. I throw a little, spice like it's spicy for everyone we keep sweet and sour packets

on the stand just for a situation like this yeah duck sauce sauce it works as lube Jesus Christ flavored lube is a bad idea if anybody

was thinking about like dipping their toes into that reservoir I mean I dated the girl that liked using flavored lube

when she'd give me head oh okay and it it was so sticky. You tell her you watch your balls if she should ask her. No, I didn't tell her that. I should have. But it was too sticky. Because even after she had sucked all of it off visibly, there was still a coat of like sugar candy on your penis. And that's not pleasant. Because then now after you get head, you have to shower. You have to, you have to hop in the shower now because otherwise it's going to be. My thighs are all sticky and crispy and not good if you wake up in the morning. No good. No good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. flavored lubricants no no flavored condoms it's it's so stupid yeah no any condoms and it's got to be like a yeast infection or something waiting to happen you're you're wild with the no shout out to my kings out there going no condom mode

telling themselves the raw dogs shout out to urgent care who helps me solve these problems afterwards that is shout out to the urgent care lady that gave me it was the same Shout out to Louis Pat Stewart and his wonder drug. Shout out to that veterinarian who didn't ask any questions. You just take penicillin and the sores go away. I think my bitch stink is filthy at the store. No, you don't want STDs. That's, that's no good.

You don't want that. We've all had our dances with the devil. Don't act like you have. Dude, have a tight. What do you can be high-minded? I'm not. you and I cannot. I haven't taken any shots.

You're just jokes. I haven't. I, again, I had the simplest thing. That was awful, but easily curable with the penicillin. But,

but like I would always be afraid of something like hepatitis. Like something that's like kind of for life and you're on some maybe expensive drug all the time. And you potentially are going to need a liver transplant someday. Something that's like life changing. I mean, hepatitis is like a scary disease. Like that's... And they don't just cure it? So I think that...

Well, it depends on the type. With a workable treatment or maybe even a cure semi-recently, but historically it's been an uncurable disease that leads to like a liver failure, I think. Yeah. But that's mostly like the dangerous hepatitis is, or the most dangerous is B, right? Hepatitis B? That I don't remember. I remember I knew someone who had hepatitis.

That's something you don't tend to get unless you're like having a, A tremendous amount of gay sex. They were sharing needles. Doing intravenous drugs. Yeah. That's how you got to be. Yeah, they're doing heroin. I think hep C you can fix.

I don't know. I mean, you've never had a tango with the clap with Maria, with comedian, never. Literally just, or crabs or any of that. No, I think I fuck much cleaner women than you. Literally, I must have. Fair. Yeah. I mean, scores posted, right?

Scobon! I did... Oh, score, boy! Get burned when you pee! Wait a minute. Maybe not cleaner women, because Kyle's more diligent about condoms. The women could be equally dirty. That's true.

I think that's still a point in my corner, though, would he? I'm a passing joke, but I don't understand. Taylor's just reckless. I didn't really. realize that the condoms are even that important. I have always. What are you from Rwanda? I was like,

yeah, I was basically, I was aware of the condoms in my head. I was like, this is to keep her from getting pregnant, but I don't care because I'm going to pull out. So who cares? Like we better have better.

Then we go to CBS. It would feel better if we do that. And then we go to CBS in the morning. And then you take this and it like fucks with your insides in a way I never knew. It forces a I wouldn't do that now Knowing what I know about the Plan B thing I wouldn't I wouldn't do that again

It's their body their choice right That's not good for them though I mean Okay Fair enough I mean I don't I don't use Plan B a lot I think I've bought it maybe two or three times in my life Holy fuck

Two or three I don't come in string Is that lower Tyler I don't come in them either sometimes. How many times you bought it? He's got a punch card, Woody. He gets the 10th one free.

Probably eight to 10 times total, which isn't crazy. That's nothing like wildly different than free. But I also let a lot of them ride where it was like the next morning. It was like, do you want to get plan B? And I'm like, no, we're probably, we're probably, we're probably good. I mean, I had a light lunch yesterday. I wasn't shooting live rounds. I can't believe how sexually irresponsible I've been in my adult life.

And I don't have a kid. Maybe I'm sterile. Especially in that city. I bet I bet like I did see one time that Atlanta is like a hotbed for STDs. There's some, I saw some STE map and it's like a problem. But like, you know, St. Louis can't be that much cleaner. You know, it's got to be a fucking landmine. landfiel land mine minefield my mind field

a mind field probably up your way through over there so to only get the fact that you got the same STD three times is some weird like aberration of statistical anomalies in it in its own right like like that STD three times and what wasn't the same girl was it no I got I got one from an absolute ho in college

and I do it to the Missouri Health Center to get that medicine and then the other ones came a little bit later in life. Let's see. Kyle's in the minefield. I'd say, yeah, yes. If I were... Yeah, George is real bad. I'm not allowed to talk about why. Oh, we all know. It's the same map.

It's the same map. Yeah, this map looks like a familiar map. I wonder what's poisoning New Mexico's well over there. Do you think it's Native Americans? Or what's going on in New Mexico? They got a bunch of a migrant. a bunch of illegals and they're just fucking like crazy

Those of you with glasses or provision is this per capita? It would have to be or it wouldn't make any sense, right? Well, I just noticed some of the lower populations have less. Yeah. Less density.

Like West Virginia right there, the lowest income state. But what about West Virginia makes it so low? Incest. Who used to sign? I know for a fact, Mama's clean.

And then we got Alaska as number. number one. That's just got to, Alaska at number one just has to be like one ambitious guy. Just doing whatever he can to spread the diseases. Yeah, you don't want to do with that. Wrap it up, guys. If you listen to this, wrap it up. You know, there's no need for all that. Get a nice, high quality condom. Feels almost as good. And you'll last longer. It doesn't feel as good. And you won't end up with an eight, you know what? Doesn't feel good. 18 years of servitude. 18 years of partial slavery. You want, like, like, like, Like, do the math on how many hours of your daily life would then be, belong to child support at the point of a gun and imprisonment.

It hurts to pee a little bit once and then you go get pills. That's how good. It hurts to go pay your taxes every single time. You will be paying a woman and her child that you didn't even like for 18 fucking years. 18 fucking years you will be supporting this person. They will take a percentage of your income. They will garnish your wages. They will imprison you.

They will. And that's fair. And speaking of wrapping it up, boys, it's been a great Halloween episode. Love the costumes. I like the episode. All right. PGA 776.

We probably have linked.