Painkiller Already - PKA 784 W/ Vito: What Kind of Whale is Best?

Episode Date: December 27, 2025

PKK 784 our guests seem delayed so we'll see if they make it Taylor it'll be a Christmas surprise who we have on tonight this episode of PKK is brought to you by lock and load our wonderful merchandise and of course betterhelp dot com talk more about all of them a bit later how are you guys doing a solid Christmas it was good gift well but for you Woody I'm more asking was the prediction of what you would have bought yourself if you thought you wanted it decent. Was it a decent prediction?

I don't need anything, man. I just hope and her boyfriend came. They brought their puppy. They got along super well with my dogs, and we had a great day. That's what I wanted. I'm glad. Did your parents come in or any laws? No, no.

I don't even know where in the world they are right now. They're on a cruise, and they tend to be, like, when my parents were on a cruise, it's often near Florida but half the time it's in the Mediterranean it involves a trip to Israel or China or something like I don't know where they are

but someplace dope I'm sure Is that a big thing to go on cruises like at Christmas? Yeah some people are in the cruisers dig it Okay I don't know enough hardcore cruisers Sounds like they've done it a few times in a row

Oh they get like special privileges at this point When we were on the Disney cruise They're like you're standing kid, I'm royalty, just by proximity. Yeah, I mean, the cruise companies have to adore them because they're like, wait, they're coming on the cruise and they're not drinking and they're probably not like eating huge amounts of the most expensive items on the tray. Like, oh, this is golden.

These are good customers. Probably. Yeah. Whatever. They travel a ton, my parents. Yeah. How about you, Kyle? Solid Christmas.

I don't do anything. you know i don't i don't really celebrate it in any meaningful way or do anything different than my normal like monday tuesday wednesday or whatever every year that answer makes me so sad i just i feel i hate that christmas is great every day's a holiday for me so you know just just gonna have all the fun that i want whenever i want um and and christmas was no different my my my girlfriend got deathly ill she has a flu or covid or something so that sucks she's like very sick, so I'm vomiting ill. No, it's like

a cold like sneezing sore throat headache pounding. She's wearing her like freezing head helmet thing that cools her brain down. But yeah, the whole night. She's looking good. And just just Kleenex is piling up and shit. Just bunch of scoop.

So hot. Different sides of the house right now. She's on that end and I'm on this end. I see her when we wake up and when we go to bed. Staying away from that. I do not want to get ill. She gave me that smoker for Christmas, so I've been smoking up a storm, having a good time with that. Here's what I want. Most of the audience, you talked about on PKN, so I have a little background on how the smoker went, but the audience doesn't.

Can you catch them up and tell them where you are? At first I had like a whole disaster where it wasn't calibrated. So even though I had it set on X temperature, it was on a much lower Y temperature. And there was no way for me to know that because it never smoked before. and 11 hours of smoking and it was just I had to throw away the ribs and I was just super furious

and then I spent a whole day recalibrating it, not a whole day. I got it fixed basically. I got a new thermometer. I figured out what the temperature differential was. I don't think it's linear. I think that say if you had the thing on 500

it might be 400, but if you had it on 100, it might be 90 if that makes sense. So depending on how high you want it, it's going to be much cooler than you would think. but I figured it out so I just turn it up 15, 20 degrees higher and I've got a better wireless thermometer now to know what the ambient temperature is regardless of what the machine says.

So I had smoked a chicken. That was fucking delicious. It looked good. Yeah. I'd never had a smoked chicken before. I always get like pork when I go to barbecue places, but chickens are like $4. So I figured let's try one of these out. Did you eat like hunk some chicken or did you pull it with like two forks and make sandwiches. I cut the breasts off and just like she ate a breast and I ate a breast and I felt guilty, but I was so full. I couldn't eat the legs or the wings. I was just stuffed with chicken after I ate one of the chicken breasts and my mashed potatoes

and my pasta salad and stuff. And it's not I'm going to smoke wings. So really loving my Christmas present. It's one of the best. Awesome. I've gotten a pretty good stream of good Christmas presents where they're like memorabilia related to Star Wars or Star Trek. I love that shit. Actually signed stuff means a lot.

me for whatever reason. I feel like I have a little connection with those, those actors that I know so much about and love. But this is something a little nicer. I kind of wanted a smoker. I kept talking about buying one, but it was nice to get one for free as a gift. And then I kept my word. I gave her $1,200 cash. But I didn't even do cash. I just transferred. I do. I like how you sent a screenshot in our group chat of like, and she loves her gift. And it was just like, like a bank transfer Merry Christmas Yeah

Merry Christmas in the memo Not even Not even a fucking like Tree emoji in the memo Just just the words And I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what When she opened her phone

And she I didn't I didn't warn her it It was like headed her way When she saw it she went Ooh I'm gonna get that purse I wanted And I'm like perfect Merry Christmas And she's like she's online shopping now

It's a gift certificate to Louis Vuitton Or anywhere else she wants to go It's legal Tinder They accept it everywhere. I'm not going to limit you to fucking Neiman Marcus or fucking whatever. Like, this works just about everywhere. It's cash. So we're good to go.

It's a good gift. Are you your wings tonight? Are you doing barbecue wings with like barbecue sauce? Or you go on Buffalo? A little smoke buffalo wings. That's a good question. I don't know. I've had smoked wings before and I always got them buffalo like when I would order them.

But I've obviously never smoked any wings before. I'm biased towards Buffalo. I think buffalo is just better than barbecue wings. Yeah, it'll be up to her. I've got both. I've got buffalo sauce and I've got plenty of barbecue sauce. So whatever she wants, I'll cook. Nice.

And that's like a pretty, in the world of smoking, anything less than three hours is like a quick meal. And that seems to be most of the chicken stuff. And so like if you're not wanting to spend all day, you just do a whole chicken, do wings, do. Well, I guess ribs are kind of six hours. Six hours is a decent chunk of your day. Yeah. 11 hours certainly when like when you were sending texts that night and you were like they've been on for 10 hours when are they going to be done and I was like I had like a text ready to send where I was like Kyle you're standing in a plane in Vietnam wondering when the last helicopters leaving you're so left behind like it's over it's been over for hours and I was like no I can't I can't dash his hopes like that like I need to let him think those. ribs could be good. Maybe some people just, maybe the 11-hour cook was a diamond in the

raw farm. I had that hope. I had that little inkling of a hope that I will have stumbled upon something that pit masters have missed for generations. Masters don't know about the 13-hour smoke. No. Yes. Because, because like all-13 hours at a cool 75 degrees. Texas road house. It's the salmonella that makes it taste so good. Like you can do them for longer. It's just at a much lower temperature. I think Texas, Texas Roadhouse does two-day ribs. They smoke them for two days at some, maybe, I don't know what temperature. That's almost dry aging as much as it is.

Yeah, you're developing a whole different flavor and a bunch of bark and stuff. It's a whole different thing. I was hoping that something like that would happen. But instead, I basically dehydrated those ribs. And I clawed at them a little with a knife and fork on my stove after I finally got tired of it. And they were just, just. just inedible just dust I didn't even buy it throwing away

were they dry were they yeah they're gonna be dry as hell after that long in there dry um I guess they were cooked but the internal temperature had been around like 140 or something like that like and it needs to be at 200 to 205 to like melt all the fat

would you just leave your meat outside in Death Valley get the same thing maybe just a well-cooked. Yeah. You can salt a ham. You can salt a ham and just that that cures it, right? Like, it's good to eat.

Takes so much salt, though. We all learned that from Old Pousand, the amount of salt. I didn't know they put so much salt on salt pork that like before you even ate it on a ship, you had to be like, all right, we need to fucking rinse this for a cool, like,

10 minute period of running water or I'm going to die of dehydration. Yeah. A thing did happen at Christmas I didn't mention. Some, dude, no one has touched the VR goggles. Like, even since last Christmas, they weren't interested. This year, my son is like, hey, can we play with the goggles dad got last year? And I'm like, what? 365 days for him to give this thing a go.

And he liked it. My daughter's a huge fan of the Batman series of video games. so she's in there like it was Batman Arkham it wasn't you can play Arkham on there and it's fucking good yeah that's the one I think we had but it wasn't Arkham Asylum

it was like Arkham Shadow or something And anyway She was playing that She got a big kick out of it I never had VR goggles Like I never really played a game So suddenly I'm looking at my arms And they're all like tatted up with biker gloves on

And I'm opening the door And I just did it for a couple minutes And I was like, I just had to share it with everyone else. Like, you guys got to put this on and open the door. You can see yourself in the mirror and it's kind of freaky because it's not you. Yeah, that's weird. And so, like, everyone had, I imagine Colin Hope, everyone had just opened all the presents from this year. Yeah.

He's like, hmm, let's tap that one from last year for the first time. I feel like as a parent, you'd be watching that being like, the fuck. Like, what the fuck is up with? It's been sitting there. If I knew this, I would have bought it this year. It would have been cheaper. My wife, she got Colin everything he asked. And then when Christmas rolled around, she's like, this is not an impressive stack of gifts.

So she literally took this, like, giant tennis ball that we were giving to the dogs. And she's like, this is for Colin now. I can't have a dog toy. it's funny to imagine Colin with no interest in the tennis ball at all but when the dogs come over he's like I don't think so

like just rolling it away the dogs had an interest in and he put it on his bed and shut the doors and go in the room that's great man he takes all comers no this is my fucking toy idiot

also all this shit sucks and playing with stuff from last year he's nibble and kibble gill was not that bad you know i told you guys i ate some of it passive aggressively when my mom was like making green bean casserole when i was like six she was like well if you don't like it taylor you can just eat dog food then like dismissively and i went in there and i like ate a couple handfuls dog food and then i like went to dinner

and she's like are you not going to eat tail you're not hungry and i was like i eat dog food instead I ate dog food instead of your fucking awful-ass green bean casserole. What a sweet treat of a child you were. And then she'd send me to time out and I'd peel the wallpaper off. And so she wouldn't send me to time out because there was a corner of the dining room that just had, you know, my arm's reach of all the wallpaper torn off of it. And I was like, I'll do it again. Put me somewhere else. Try it. This is what you get for not hitting your dining room.

children. No, well, I mean, that must have been a mix because I was getting hit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we didn't do any timeouts at my house. It was always a whooping. Timeouts before, after my time, I mean to say. And if they tried to like take something away from me, I'd have such a meltdown that they'd have to give it back.

It's like, oh, where you're not going on your little paintball trip? I'm going to make your life hell for the whole weekend, lady. Like, have you ever heard an 11-year-old scream and cry for two days? right? Because that's what's coming. Do you have any firecrackers I have under my bed? All hours of the night. You don't know what a like, I think fireworks were for me as a kid. I got them rarely because of what I would do with them when I got them. So I coveted them. And once they were gone, it was always this six-month into nine-month cool down of my parents needing to forget what had happened the last time I had been given fireworks. Because again, I would watch

stuff like Dennis the Menace and Bart Simpson and problem child and I would emulate those characters and think that blowing up mailboxes or tying the firecrackers to my dad or something like that was funny and it's acceptable and I would I would learn that it wasn't but but you know and I was always trying to make them scarier like I would put I put them in beer bottles and then you know glass would spray everywhere and stuff like that so make a big mess for them too yeah yeah yeah i was always a they they did not want to give me fireworks but every time we drove past the fireworks store in south carolina but please please let me have fireworks just twenty dollars worth will get me by just 20 that's all i need dad it's not just a fireworks store they also have

guns and liquor there's something for everyone can we please stop please no we've got one of those border situations or we used to where georgia didn't have fireworks they were illegal here but south carolina did have them and so the border itself was littered with the these enormous fireworks stores with tons of advertisements and oversized storefronts and stuff to try to get Georgia people to stop in and get their fireworks and go back. That's what my town growing up was like, we didn't have alcohol. And on the other side of every bridge, I lived on a small island. And the other side of every bridge was an alcohol store, like right at the base.

Yep. Yep. A lot of places like that. You'll see that in the legal states with weed now, too. because Missouri borders so many states like as you're like seven states and only one of them has legal and so like as you're leaving Missouri

into any other state there's just like a sudden weird cluster of weed stores so people from Iowa or Kansas or Arkansas can come in and buy it and even the Illinois people because they're getting hosed by their government. I saw you guys lost your football franchise. That's like three football franchises that have fled Missouri now. It's the same city. Who can't

cares. Is it? Isn't it going to Kansas? Who? What happened? It's moving from a Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri to a new giant stadium in Kansas City, Kansas, which is like a couple miles of, yeah, a couple miles into the different state. Different state, yes. So it's going to be in Kansas. So you lost the, so you lost your football franchise to another state. It doesn't really feel like that. I don't really care.

Really. I think he cares. I think I care. That's the lost revenue. Oh, did you see the sweetheart deal? The reason they left is Kansas, like, bent themselves over a barrel being like, we want a professional team in something, please. And they get, like, no revenue from it. The chiefs keep everything.

The small little, like, carve out percentage of concessions and whatnot that the Kansas City, Kansas, Overland Park, which is the area of Kansas City they would be in, they don't even keep that money. That money goes into a result. fund that the chiefs then use to improve operations in the new stadium, like the chiefs are taking Kansas for a fucking ride seemingly, because they're not going to bring that much in. Because there's no, how many people are going to be going to see the chiefs game now that otherwise weren't? Nobody. Nobody's saying, you know what? Actually, that stadium, instead of

being a mile into Missouri is now a mile into Kansas, that's convenient. I kind of tip my hat to a team that struck while the iron was hot. It was smart. They'd be stupid. I bet Kansas was like, dude, the chiefs are coming. Any deal you would. Name your terms and I will rubber stamp it. Because they're like a dynasty. Well, they were until this year. Yeah.

And good for them, but or good for the chiefs, really. Seems like Kansas gets a little host, but it, I saw that Mahon, like it, it seems bad. But, but they, they said that Mahomes careers once again mirroring Tom Brady's. I don't know the exact numbers, but. whatever year it is into Mahomes career during the same year having won the same amount of Super Bowls as Tom Brady Tom Brady also blew out his knee and had he did blow it out earlier in the year so he had all that extra time to recover but he came back the next year and then continued the dynasty for whatever four more championships there or something whatever it is they're definitely losing Kelsey

next year but like one of the reasons Brady did so well for so long is that the Patriots organization was able to reload around him. He always seemed to have top receivers. Like you'd pick up Randy Moss or like whatever best receiver in the league there is would want to go play for the Patriots. We'll see if Kansas City has that same magic or if the people that were helping him like Kelsey just age out and he doesn't get to have that career. I watched the game the other night and they like played like a whole like Kelsey in memoriam kind of video and the broadcasters the whole game were like

this may be we don't know for sure but just saying could be Kelsey's last game at Arrowhead. I think he statistically improved this year compared to last which was his bad year for him. Yeah, I don't know. He's wearing a thing and he's 36 I think and his brother

retired at like 36 or 372 a little longer in the tooth already they made it really seem like this was his last year. And you know, Mahomes I'm sure we'll be back to play next year but but still uh i don't know what what their future uh i love that 45 year old story the guy who's like coming back for the colts yeah philip rivers like and i saw online like i just went to like NFL twitter to try and get a feel for it like

watching some highlights and it seems to be the common opinion that everyone's like guys it's unreal how bad quarterbacks are now and how bad quarterback development is that this 45-year-old guy gets off the couch after five years. And he hasn't been chilling for five years. He has 10 children. Like, I'm sure he hasn't been staying in NFL shape. And then he hops out there. And immediately, they're like, do you guys notice? He's like Brady. Like, he's calling audibles all the time. He's like changing his mind about what the play is because he's reading the defense. He's not just relying on being, you know, quick or like a couple of set plays. And that is, it's weird to see a sport take a huge backstep because you're so used to just

improvement improvement improvement faster better stronger and then to see like oh fuck even as a football novice it does seem like those older qubs were better hockey and basketball are both more sophisticated in like the way that they sort of have set plays that they try to execute it used to be they'd all go out there and kind of wing it and a lot of isolation type stuff basketball in particular now oh my god it's the defenses and offenses and like plans are so much trickier and complicated but somehow in football, which was complicated before, is getting simplified, okay. I don't know that.

I think the problem is it isn't getting simplified and that's why the quarterback development is so hard, right? I don't think that a lot of the guys... I think college they're able to drop back, scramble and organically make stuff happen on the fly, and in the professional games they're getting

spied and covered up and swamped in the back field. I think it's so hard to make that leap from college to I mean look at Tua and like just I don't know he's going to be he's looking for a backup job like that's his career future like he's done I watched the Broncos obviously play the the chiefs the other night because I'm all in for the Broncos since I bet on him for the Super Bowl it wasn't it was a little worrying like like it was it was a tied up game for like most of the game against your backup quarterback and who looked okay like he definitely wasn't

Mahomes but he didn't shit the bed like it was a very competitive game all the way down to the end a little word about the Broncos I hope Mahomes comes back the best part of the game I don't know if it was the debut where was the game Arrowhead in Missouri the Broncos will be at home for everything with the Super Bowl I guess

and that mile high it's just a huge advantage I see so the Broncos did win against the Chief and that'd be pretty embarrassing if they didn't. I know the chiefs are not good this year. I mean, the spread was like 13 and a half, though, and, and they didn't come close to covering that. I should have bet that. I considered doing it before the game. I was like, because I'd

seen your backup play in that last game. He wasn't, again, he didn't shit the bet. He wasn't awful, but he wasn't the guy and somewhere in between. But in any case, I saw the trailer for Madden, the movie about John Madden. Did you see that? No. Shane Gillis is playing young John Madden. And Nicholas Cage is playing adult fat John Madden in makeup and a suit. And it's got like a huge cast. Do you know how long it's been? Christian Bale is in it?

Do you know how long? Do you know how long it's been since you brought up a movie that I earnestly was like, I have to see it. I have to see this film. I have to see Shane Gillis. And then Nick Cage be like, oh, what? Huh? There's this clip of him with the, he's like,

all right, the defense doesn't know what they're doing. The offense knows what they're doing. and we don't know anything. He's like he's in that John Matt. It's going to be a lot of scenes of him on a bus because he refused to fly. I know that little bit of lore about him. Yeah.

Yeah. He refused to fly. He was super afraid of flying. And so he had this like stacked luxury bus that would drive him around. Stadium to stadium, which is like, hey, John, you're commentating Tennessee and fucking the Rams in L.A.

And then four days later, you're going to do the jets and the fucking giants or whatever. Did he fly when he was a coach, Johnman? Yeah. Yeah. And he hated it. Oh, but as a commentator, he took the bus. Okay. I guess they let him.

I would imagine, like, if he had one flight a year, he'd be like, yeah, let's get on the plane. But when it gets into that daily, like, you are upping your odds of going down and fire your wreckage. When you're a guy who flies twice a week, it's like, all right, this is kind of dangerous at this point. you know how you up your odds to go down in a fiery wreckage take a bus oh you know you're well hang on take a bus 3,000 miles cross americans if you said an auto if you said a car I'd agree with you but I bet the statistics about like injuries and deaths on buses per capita like nationwide is much lower I bet you're safe in that big tank of a bus that's a good thought I'm going to ask chat GPT because and and I mean it

It's just a big tank of a vehicle, and you're way back there. Like, you're not getting crumpled up the way a passenger vehicle is. It's definitely safer. I don't know if it's safer than air travel, though. I've never been afraid on a plane. And part of it is just accepting that what are you going to do, Kyle, hop up and run to the cabin and take control of this thing? Damn.

One else's hands just-airplane is way safer. Fatal accidents are 0.003 deaths per billion miles. and on a bus it's point one. It's scarier though because like when you're about to get in a car accident

even in that moment you can sometimes be like oh this is going to be annoying with insurance like you're going to be like I'm not going to die here but like if a plane's going down it's like

it's over it's like 100% of people on this flight are going to die right now true oh I I'm thinking of Scully

landing in the Hudson, like literally everyone's are good. Well, that was a controlled landing. He avoided the crash. A controlled landing in the Hudson River. Yeah, they make a big deal of that. Look, if planes didn't float, I would give him some credit for that one, okay? Like, if, the fake plane's float.

I saw the standing on the wings waiting for help. At least for a bit. It was sitting on the bottom of the Hudson? Yeah. Really? Mm-hmm. I didn't know that. Huh? Well, that was a little.

lucky. Yeah. Or he knew it. He might have known it. Maybe he flies out of there all the time. Then they tried to like make him into a bigger thing where it's like, we're going to make a movie about you. What else is interesting about you? And he's like, well, did you hear two weeks ago where I landed a plane in the Hudson? It's like, okay. That guy was an instructor for like handling commercial emergency situations. Like he was the guy you'd want at the yoke. Yeah, maybe we should start putting one of those guys in seated next to the air marshal except apparently the air marshal they're not even putting in most planes it says the river was it says it's 50 feet deep there and that it was floating although it did eventually sink to to like rest on the river bed well it's not a boat it's not

going to float forever like that's floating the wings waiting for help that's why i'm saying like that's that's why i'm calling this a controlled landing we know for a fact that it's it floats long enough even in the ocean to warrant those slides that come out the side. So there's clearly enough time for a floating. Yeah, it is. It's for when you've got to disembark in an emergency. They, you know, they slide

down them onto the tarmac. I thought they used those like any time you needed to get out quite quickly. Like even in the water where they're like, we're sinking. Get the hell out and get on the water. I think I feel like, I don't know how that like big inflatable ramps would help you. Sometimes you need a smile in a situation like that.

Maybe you get a little bit of a slide and you have a little wee, like in the middle of the most traumatic. In any case, I'm also super hype for that movie. I like Nicholas Cage. The only thing I could make that better to me is if you told me John Goodman was also in it. Then we get Christian Bale and Goodman. No, I don't think he's in it. It had a big cast. I don't remember the rest of them.

But seeing that Shane Gillis was playing, I'm pretty sure he's playing a young John Madden. That's going to be pretty neat. That's funny. Good for him. He's really ascended. Shane Gillis ever since that nonsense where they kicked him off SNL

for like being too funny with Asian jokes I wonder if that helped his career for sure yeah it happened at a good time in the kind of the or I guess he got canceled in 2020 or 2021 right

that sounds right that was like peak woke cancel stuff and I think people were getting very openly sick of it at that time and because he was so prominent and already kind of escalating that he was able to bounce back in a way

that other people would. He pulled himself back from the brink. He didn't just get uncanneled. He didn't have that huge podcast. He doesn't come back. Well, he also was doing that whole sketch comedy show just on YouTube like some Shillian Geves or something like that. I can't remember what they call it. But like, remember

the ISIS Toyota bit where like... That's funny. Yeah. I might be wrong. In my little universe, he expertly navigated the Roganverse like he was I didn't even know about him until he went on Joe Rogan's podcast he went on Joe Rogan's podcast got this big pull up and then he jumped off like now he's not as close to Rogan and everyone who's in the Rogan sphere is kind of this on the outs right who's funny in the Rogan's fear Tony Hincliffe that guy who fucking hurt his knee um Brendan Schwab I thought he

because he was on Joe Rogan today or yeah But I swear he's distanced from Rogan in a way that like Brendan Schwab is not. It's just that he's created stuff outside of his Rogan experience. Yeah, it's that he's got more to hang his hat on. Like Shane Gillis goes on Joe Rogan because he seemingly likes Joe Rogan and Joe seems like a nice guy and they have good chemistry, make funny content. But it doesn't, it doesn't, that's not the only thing he's there for. A Brandon Schaubb or whatever. Like what else the fuck else is that guy doing other than Joe?

Everybody. like the kill Tony guy the Andrew whatever who's the guy with the porn Andrew Schultz yeah the porn mustache I was going to say Tony Hincliffe again Brennan Schwab again who Bert Krishner

Tony Hinchcliff I didn't know because I don't watch his podcast I haven't really seen it other than when Shane Gillis was on there doing the like they had the Biden impersonator and Shane doing Trump impersonator like bantering and that was very funny but apparently the Tony Hinchcliff podcast is

fucking enormous. It's huge. He sells out like, not stadiums, but like big venues to then have, and I guess the format is you have like an unknown comic come up and do his, like it's on Netflix. Do his bits and then everybody sits at the

panel and rips on it or I just see the whole world turning against almost everyone but Rogan. Like Rogan's kind of still killing it, but all the other comedians in his sphere are just branded that is not funny you might be it sounds like you're closer to this than me because i don't listen

to rogan very much like and follow that world but i think of like Shane gillis is very much in it and is like he's kind of or he feels like the new guard because i remember old like 10 plus years ago it felt like every third joe rogan episode was like joey diaz and joey diaz never i never thought he was as funny as like a lot of other people did he was he was entertaining he can tell good stories and whatnot, but he didn't engage with me the way like Shane Gillis does, like a very funny guy. I think he honestly

believes Joey Diaz is one of the funniest people on earth. He might be. But when I see him on either his own podcast or Joe's, it never seems to translate. Like he has this energy that I'm there for and then the story doesn't go anywhere. That's, yeah, I've heard funny clips of him,

but I never was all bought in with the Joey Diaz thing. And that just kind of feels where he is now. It's just a new crop of these guys. Andrew Schultz is in the new Street Fighter movie. Did you see that I don't know if you saw the cast for the new Street Fighter movie. 50 cents in it. Fifty cents has been training for like two years to begin this thing. He is

ripped. Like he doesn't look like himself. His cheeks are all hollowed out and he's got this wacky like like like hairstyle going on. Alexander Volcanowski is in it with this big blonde wig like

and Andrew Not is super short. Pardon? Volcanoski, is he like 5'4? I would imagine. So, yeah, yeah, he's a little feller. He's short even for his division. I'll watch this one too, Kyle.

You're on a roll today with movies. Yeah, it looks fun. This looks fun. I like... Is it a comedy? It's Street Fighter. So I take it to be in the vein of like a Mortal Kombat movie. Who's that monster in the back?

Right. Holy cow. Who is that guy? Is it like a little fella, is he? Like, no, I wouldn't say he's little. I'm looking for that guy's name, that enormous man. These guys

don't look like action stars. No, that guy in the pink shirt, I've seen him before. Okay, that's Cody Rhodes. He's a wrestler. A wrestler. Yeah, it's Cody Rhodes. Jason Momoa's in it. Cody Rhodes. 50 cent, Andrew Schultz. Where's Momoa? Is he

under that guy's bicep? Which one's Momoa? I'm not sure he's in this photo, but I'm scanning it right. I don't see him. I want to know if the fucking Icelandic monster is in the back because it seems like he's going to win. Is he Zangreef or something?

I forget the guys. I don't know the characters. I don't play the game. I bet that's who he is. Oh, his name is. I found him. It is Zangif. Nice call.

He's played by Olivier Richters. Hang on. I got a link to him. my god he's a giant he's a he's much bigger character in the game to it makes sense oh he's is he the dutch giant that guy we've like who does influencer video yeah he's seven foot two like guys he's a russian in the game uh but in real life he's from the netherlands makes sense that that fall that tracks yep yep it's pretty pretty big people over there damn

oh oh who's in the match victors this guy's gigantic Oh, Vega. That had to be Vega in the mask. Yeah, I never played that one. I played a little Mortal Kombat and I watched the movies, obviously. I only played Street Fighter at the arcade and I've been to the arcade like five times in my life. That was like the fireworks store. That was a special event.

A special event at the fireworks store? No, like I only got to go rarely and it was a special event when I did for the art, like something like the arcade. I played a lot of Street Fighter. quarter at a time. It was old school. Were you good enough that you could take all comers at the arcade or were there some real heavy hoders? I was better than most

but it wasn't like I was undefeated at the arcade or anything but I I would warn people like because what would happen is I'd be playing the computer and then anytime someone will roll up with two quarters they could play against me and I'd be like you sure you want to do that

because you're going to be in and out you're just going to be out 25 cents That's one of those anachronisms I'm envious of, of people who grew up in, like, that arcade time. Like, that seems so fun and so cool. And, like, you're out and about, but you're also gaming. It's not seen it. I'm sure arcade stuff wasn't seen as hip and cool because it doesn't feel like even gaming and nerd stuff got cool until, like, like, 2010 or something. That would have been fun.

My parents used to give us a roll of quarters. drop us off at the arcade and I didn't realize it until I was later and then they would bang while the house was empty that was their mood they're like you know what for this roll of quarters we could have we had have a loan time you know I think we can give him less money

he's gotten pretty good at that game or a couple rounds you know he's really killing people that's fun did you guys do any any feasting any overeating no no I ate my chicken and that was that was it my wife was making the pecan pie that I was so excited about and she was just working really hard I was like you know you know you can just stop you can stop

she had two pumpkin pies and a chocolate pie and she's making the pecan that only I want and I'm like just you're working yourself too hard so she made it today I haven't had it yet that's your that's the pretzel replacement for this evening yeah oh my god you're yes yes a little bit of pie we'll see it doesn't always come out perfectly but uh i might do pie after the show that sounds good i like pecan pie way more than chocolate or pumpkin pie underrated pie for sure it's a very underrated pie as far as this time of the year goes yeah consider myself to be a guy all about presentation, but the chocolate pie looks nice, but by the time

it makes it to my plate, it is just prison slop on my plate. I don't know where the crust is, a little bit on top, some on the side, it's, it's just pudding. Or presentation. It's tricked every time where I'm like, a chocolate pie, you say, and then I'm like, oh, fuck, it's pudding again.

It's pudding with a gram cracker. There's nothing wrong with that, though. Like, when I did it. Give me a cake. I'd rather have a different kind of pie. You can make it into more, you just need to add gelatin if you want it to have to be stiff and like sliceable. Like the same street for like blueberry pies. Like when I make blueberry pie, it's not.

When you cut it, it doesn't just melt into pudding. It stands up stiffly and you create this like jiggly blueberry slice of deliciousness. Pyes are just worse than cake. And so like when I'm somewhere and they have cake and pie, it's like most types of cake for me in a dessert picking scenario out. rank almost every kind of pie so i'm going to go with the cake yeah i guess so i i like all the pies though there's there's no pies that i don't like there are no pies that i won't eat all of the pies are good whether it's lemon meringue or or lime or coconut cream all those things coconut cream i there's not enough to it i like coconut i like coconut i like coconut i like coconut like the chew

of the coconut any does any like almond joy um coconut cake all that stuff my dad likes coconut so that was that was in the house when we had a dessert it was going to be what he liked for whatever reason and it was always coconut or strawberry pie well i had at my grandma's house a tremendous amount she made one of her delicious chocolate sheetcakes this big sheet cake chocolate cake chocolate on chocolate of course and so i'm going in i'm i'm eating pieces of that um uh eating christmas cookies uh i ate i think more prime rib than i've ever eaten in a sitting Like I was exhaling so hard after every breath Like

After that And that was the day That was Christmas Eve The 23rd evening we were there And we had our seafood boil And so I was eating A tremendous amount of crab And the Andouy sausage

And the potatoes And the scrimps And The potato is my favorite part Because it absorbs that boil juice Very good And it becomes completely inundated with it. And so like whenever I order like or go pick up like crab boil, I'm always

like, you can keep the corn. Give me double potatoes. Keep the egg, double potatoes, like triple potatoes, whatever. I want crab legs and potatoes and the sausage. That's all I want. Yeah, you need the and dewy sausage. Yeah, that stuff's good. You put all that like Cajun seasoning on it afterward and sit in the middle of the table. Yeah, I get it spicy. Yeah, there's a place that that's near me. It's Koreans in there, but I swear to God, they have figured out Cajun food. Like, that shit is good. They can do it. Koreans look at a recipe and they're like,

I can the photo of these. Yeah. Yeah. I learned why. Anyway, my jeans aren't fitting. And I feel you. I can cut to you. I feasted it's so hard.

Do you know why Asians primarily do laundry? Why they went into the laundry and dry cleaning business so hard? There's historical reasons. I don't know. They... they don't have B.O. They don't really sweat. They're not hairy.

That would argue against them being into laundry. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Like, why, my question better formed is, why did Asians go so hard into the laundry and dry cling business in the United States specifically? Why is that what? Why did they form that base here in the same way that, like, different races and ethnicities have gravitated toward various institutions?

I've never even considered. I have no idea. So during the early days of the gold rush in the Wild West, when all of those Chinese were coming over to work on railroads, they weren't allowed to make gold claims. They couldn't like say like, are this place is mine? I'm hunging for gold here. They weren't allowed to do that. So by doing the laundry and washing the clothes of the gold miners, they were able to sift out gold that was that was stuck to their clothing. So they would do laundry.

they did almost all the laundry in the back in those days and they took the gold dust off the clothes yeah yeah they would did but you you wash like 80 gold miners filthy clothes and you'd end up with this silt of like gold dust in the bottom of the the sluice water good for them i kind of like it that's smart yeah i watched everybody else was like selling shovels i finished my rewatch of um um deadwood and you know ends super poorly because they got canceled without warning there was some sort of like it was a pissing I always thought it was money and maybe I'm sure money factored in a bit if they were like bonkers making money they they wouldn't have gone anywhere but there was some pissing match between the director and HBO and he was like well cancel us then and they did they like called his bluff and canceled the show on him but they made the movie several years ago and it's it's like 111 minutes long so it's roughly three good episodes worth and it fixes everything i finally got around to like watching the movie and you know they they bring everybody back the entire cast uh even like random horrors and stuff and like the

crippled lady who like puts the peaches on the table do they bring woo back yeah woo's there yeah woo's got a translator boy now he's got a little woo now and little woo speaks good english and so he's able to help translate for woo um but the movie fixed everything i watched that the other night And then that got me going down this whole rabbit hole. I do. I loved the woo and, uh, swearingen, swearinger, like, where like, swear engine would come over and be like, how's it going, woo? And woo's like, oh, I'm going to stuff going on. And then the swear injure would be like, swear engine.

Be like, I swear boo, sometimes it seems like you're the only one around here making any sense. Don't go Don't give I love he Woo and Swarengen Hang die And Swerinj be like Wu and Sweringin

Hang die Yeah There was Wu who needed Sweringer's help He was having a hard time communicating But they worked it out And it's my

favorite scene in the whole show Yeah because he only says Like You know San Francisco Cock Sucker And Swingin Like those are the only This cock sucker

Come to my shack Oh he didn't have my shack He's like a big cock sucker A big cocksucker A big cocksucker Beat up your men And rob them Of my dope

Oh This isn't gonna stand He's like yeah Yeah you can follow me You're following me Yeah He was my favorite character Other than Swear engine

Yeah The early days of HBO, like with shows like Rome, not the early days of HBO, it's actually like the early 2000s, but Sopranos hadn't become a full-on cultural phenomenon, I don't think, yet. And because otherwise, I feel like it would have buoyed shows like Rome and Deadwood to like get their full run of five or six seasons because Rome is criminal. Rome is so good. It's so, so incredible.

And the fact they couldn't finish it is sad. I don't know what the actor's name is, but the guy who was Caesar. that guy with like the super dark hair the very authoritative look that older heavyset guy yeah yeah everybody in that show's fucking a tremendous actor and it's like brutal and nasty and mean and like

just raping and pillaging and just the Romans are awful and it's just it's really good it's a good show what's the speech he's like giving them when he's like telling them to ride back to Rome to like upturn the government crossing the Rubicon yeah

yeah yeah I don't remember the that's the original crossing of the Rubicon and the origin of the phrase I don't remember I remember the speech vaguely they represent you or do I like the the whole thing and it was like oh no one of this guy won he's really good he's really good at what he did these problems he identified they were upsetting a lot of the legionaries yeah that's a great show I wish they would do more shows on ancient Rome done well Do you care about historical? What's more important, that it be historically accurate 100% or that it just be well-written and acted?

I'd rather be a mix. Because Troy is already getting some shit, the Odyssey rather, but the Christopher Nolan movie, it's already getting a lot of shit for historical inaccuracies. The marble isn't painted the way it should be. It should be colorful, not bleached from thousands of years. I think you need to almost, you need to be nuanced with it. Like, if they, like, if they're making huge glaring errors, Agamemnon looks like Batman.

Then that will, then that will pull you out of it. But if they're like little things, like the armor is not quite right, but everything else is true, it's not that big a deal. Like making Helen of Troy black, that's a huge, like. Zendaya's not Helen Troy, is she? No, she's a theme. I think she plays, she plays Athena. I'm fine with that.

Whatever. This, uh, it's a African lady who's playing Helen of Troy, which doesn't really. line up with what that story's about. Really? That's what I saw. Let me see. You want to take a look?

You want to see the face that launched a thousand chips? The actress is the most famous thing. It's like, Lumpita. Nyango. Lupita Nyango. All right. I'm not going to watch, dude.

I'm not going to. Forty two years. 42 years old I'm not going to watch it I'm not going to watch a lady as a Helen of Troy yeah wow what a great I'm not going to watch the movie

that's that's that's that's that's it I what where was Helen of Troy from Troy Greece she was stolen away to Troy to you know by the by Prince she probably was Greek

I mean I know how dumb that is but Greek yeah yeah I'm sure she was just they go on and on describe her physical beauty. But she was blonde, which was rarer, I think, for Greeks, because she was, like, Greeks tended to have darker hair. Wasn't that, like, a thing? It's like, her hair was fair, and she was, like, blonde. Yeah, yeah, because Greek people tend to be, like, sworethier. They're southern Europeans, like Italians, so. Oh, I got you right here, bro. Here, I've got the,

this is from the Iliad. Helen is described primarily through her extraordinary beauty, often called white-armed or fair-faced, a divine allure that launched a thousand ships, but also brought intense suffering, making her complex figure of self-blame, shame, and regret for the Trojan War. She's like, they're describing her as very pale here. She's fair-faced and wide-armed. I'm not going to watch the movie. Not going to watch it. No. I already saw the armor and I was like, that doesn't look great. And then they were like, check out. I know, I'm being circulated. Agamemnon looks like Batman. It's a little too Batman. It's a little too Batman. yeah yeah

like Batman should if they did a Batman and like ancient times that's what he would wear they've done like the comics were Batman's in Sherlock's time and he's got like more of a like Sherlock like Gatorian style thing going on

it's pretty cool I saw the filters of like you know the joke of like when they film Breaking Bad in Mexico they put that sepia tone that sort of thing I saw people being like where does Nolan think greases

why does he have the Poland filter on? And it's like blue and like foggy like Northern European fog And it's like where do you think Greece is? It's immensely sunny like I love it when they put women in sexy armor Like why is it armor a thong That fucking talk to Woody

It was his idea Well protect her asshole you fool Now that's a precious asshole All I'd be damned The mitral of her thong is are you sure I can see your pussy lips that was the idea too false silence

homosexual yeah I guess I guess I'm not going to be watching old Odysseus rats that's okay I figured it was going to be a shit show anyway well you said that other movie so at least I have that to look forward to yeah yeah there's I'm sure there's good stuff I'm going to watch the new avatar I like contributing to the fun

that is the multi-billion dollar industry is this a government money laundering thing because I've never heard a single person talk no one has spoken to me

about Avatar yeah but we all go see them on this show it revolves around like isn't it interesting how it has so little little cultural cachet my thing is I don't think

my thing is I hate the movies like yeah they're retarded that guy was the scars was the cool one and he died like those movies look amazing they every time he makes one the technology's gotten better he's invented some fuck tech to fucking technology and he's been planning this thing for so long that it goes off without a hitch and it looks amazing but like if i if i put myself into those movies i'm just like fuck these blue cock suckers why aren't we using virus bombs why aren't we why haven't we figured out a way to like make them so they can't reproduce why aren't we stealing

their children and luring them into fire bombs. I have no pity for those blue cocksuckers. They need to be genocided immediately. They all have to go. The whales make quail oil that makes humans immortal essentially. Oh my God, I don't care if those

are the sweetest whales in the world. They could have Pixar voices and wink at me. Gut them all. Put them in pins and milk them like those bile bears in Russia. I want their golden life-extending juices, and I want every blue cocksucker off this planet

human the the lore i believe is earth is fucked earth is fucked and and and this military like a thing is our last chance they have to make this planet work they don't have like star trek warp technology we're gonna be like aw shucks looks like there's blue cock suckers here let's find another perfect planet

there aren't anymore they can't warp across the galaxy to the next best planet this is it for humanity for our survival why are we fucking who's the united nations cock suckers He's like, oh, let's not be too hard on it. But they're not trying to move to this planet. They're trying to extract resources from it, right?

They're trying to fuck this next planet just like they did their own. The people are clearly the bad guys in this. No, no. Yes. If you're human, the humans are the good guys. We are trying to further our species and keep it alive. But being human doesn't like absolve you of any right from wrong. Like if you thought it was funny, the sound that dogs made when they died, you wouldn't just be like,

well, they're not people. therefore I kill dogs because it's they're not people right we just do it for fun there are people living on this planet in like harmony in a sustainable way and they come in with bulldozers and knock all the trees down and I think they're trying to get they we have to I think it's literally called unobtainium right yeah bad writing but like like we can like I guess that's where I come down on it is like whatever furthers humanity is good because I don't care if we have to destroy every whale on that planet. If the alternative is there are no more humans, then it is morally right for us to take that and keep us moving. Self-ishness is rarely a core principle in moral correctness, right? Like just

self-preservation is. All that shit goes out the window when self-preservation is the card that's being played. Well, I understand self-preservation makes people desperate, but it doesn't make them right, right? It makes them determine. When you see the bulldozers just mowing down trees and such, then you're like, oh, these are the bad guys. They're trying to destroy. No way, dude. They don't care about anyone but themselves. The humans. Yeah, the humans care about humanity. There are billions upon billions, probably tens of billions in this future of humans back on Earth that will all die and our species will go extinct if we don't. And they're settling here. They're not just real. I'm not sure that's the plot. I think they're trying to get unobtanean for corporate profits or

something. This idea. They're terraforming the moon. They're settling the planet. And of course, while we're here, we're mining the incredibly precious and valuable resources that they're strip mining. Sure, that's how we mine things. Like, I don't, those blue people have to go. I would be first to be... Get them out of here. The whole idea of... The original argument

is like these things aren't sentient beings, therefore like, fish don't feel pain or whatever it is. I somehow sort of get that. Like these aren't fully developed species like we are. But these blue people are. Even the whales are.

yeah they got to go and if i as a human if i were a blue person i would have a different perspective on this but if i as a human uh humans have to do whatever it takes to survive if we can't survive without this then sorry they should have done more than i think it's a part when you just look at it through right and wrong like like what if you said white people instead of humanity like you know what it's all white people we need to just make sure that they come out but it's not if it's some other well it's kind of a parallel well typically when we say it's a different species. We say that because they're not as cognitively developed as we are. If you could save, if you could save 200, let's just imagine, if you could save 50 Somalis by abandoning your house living in a tent and giving them that, that is the morally, objectively correct thing to do by kind of the standard you've set.

All of our houses used to rest on big. But I would disagree. I would say you earned that. You fought. You worked. That is your home. You are not out. obligated to invite a million. I would say that's not the moral equivalent because you're talking about like going in and taking what I earned and built. That's not what they're doing here. They're going in and taking someone else's stuff. They are, right? Conquering, colonizing, and genociding.

That is what I fully realize that that is what is taking place. And I would be leading the fucking charge. I would be getting somebody cooking up some blue people version of smallpox. right away before we even met them we'd have it in allpox we I wouldn't even want to talk to them about can we take everything you have and fuck your women oh yes right away sir no I'd I'd have the smallpox cooked up before we even met that would be our gift to like peace amongst worlds have some blankets take this take this thing right here back to back to your homeland it would be a fucking smallpox bomb they have to go this is our place now there's nowhere else to go this is like rafts in the ocean as far as planets in the galaxy go that we can live on and ours is sinking and here's a big well-made raft and we're here but there's some blue cock suckers on it with ponytails they're twice as big as us we can't i don't want to coexist with them because i want to take our whole culture is opposite and and and at conflict with theirs they're going to think

that the things that we do like chopping their magical fucking trees down and and and milking their of their life vile. They're going to hate that. They're going to make a lot of trash for someone who's lost in every movie, right? You're like, I'm going to fuck them up. You're going to get that. No one beats the writer's pin, and we know who holds that. Some gay retard.

Well, you haven't one. That was good. Yeah, I totally agree with you, Kyle. Like, we got to preserve humanity, bro. See, this is why you'll like Warhammer 40K. They'll show up and they'll be like peaceful aliens and the aliens will be talking to him psychically. Why are you kidding us? We did not make war upon you.

We are simple scavengers. And then I'm like, gross. Bang! Literally that. Literally like the guy's like for a moment he felt pity. But then Sergeant Morsilius spoke loudly. Kill the Zenos. They deserve not to live.

Their very existence is a nathema to the emperor's will. the alien's face exploded into a cloud of go and Dante looked away like they fucking deal them in it they go they got to go there's no coexistence I mean we might work together a little bit with the more intelligent ones when our

goals or there's a greater enemy to be dealt with you know if there was a if there was some black people on that planet and we could team up with the blue people to deal with the black people I'd be all for that but there aren't there aren't any black people on it's just worried about where this is going

not African Americans like they're black these are like eight foot tall well shit I watched you walk into that I was like he's going to say it like black like tar

with big yellow eyes and stuff shit no when I watch those movies that's genuinely what I'm feeling the whole time and so when we're like chilling with the good guys

the blue people they're coexisting and he's learning to surf or whatever and learning to like scuba dive with the new water blue people i'm just thinking like they all got to die they all got to die and then we cut back to the special forces crew and those guys are fucking cool they got their gear on they're talking hard and i'm all about them like i identify with them i was watching their ass kicked every movie and they fucking suck at their jobs and i have a hard they suck at their job so much because the writing is bad like like these people are

evil for the movie for no point at least if you want to be evil like Thanos, for example, or even Darth Vader, you're like, oh, you know, there's two sides to every coin. These guys are just like, how can we kill the fucking children? Oh, we want to catch the whales. Okay. So our method for catching the whales is to first torture the baby whales so that the mommy whale tries to defend the baby whale,

and then you kill the mommy whale in the most excruciating, like inhumane way. Can I interject and make a point? He was writing. Think about how, look, this is all. to me, this is the colonization of the American West, and it mirrors it almost perfectly. That's how

we massacred the Indians. We'd go and kill the whole village. The men, the women, and children after we raped the women, we'd kill everybody. We'd torture them, because that's what they did to us. That was the nature of the war. This is just that, the way we took away the Buffalo. It doesn't go both ways. The blue people are like, can we just live in...

Of course, because of bad writing. Yeah, it's because of bad... Bad writing is my point. The humans are... are so over the top evil with no justification for the evil that it's hard to get on board. Not only that, their military tactics are so poor that you're like, man, put me in charge. And we're so, our first of all, we're going on helicopters down to like dragon range. No, fly higher than the dragons.

To bow and arrow range. Like the fact. But see, yeah, that's bad. Kyle, you're right. It's just bad riding. Like they, we lost him in a very odd position. Oh, you're really? I lost him.

You're back now. Yeah, it's just bad writing. Like, I always thought the whole crux of Avatar, and I watched it once in theaters fucking 16 years ago now. I've seen them, but it was like, oh, they have to get this resource to further humanity because humans will die. But if the story is, oh, they just want it for like a vague illusion to corporate profits, and they have to write it in such a way where you can't just collect the resources,

of course not. It has to be horrible, evil, torturous. Like, that is James Cameron and the writers tacitly admitting that if they were written in such a way as to be like, this is either humanity survival or the alien survival, that morally people would walk away with the wrong conclusion. They would want, going, hey, yeah, the wrong conclusion in regard to what they wanted. Because the correct conclusion, if you're a human when watching this, if it's a stake of civilization for civilization survival, is to go, yeah, we're pro-human. But it'd be a better movie if, like Avengers, there was a Thanos is Right subreddit thriving. Like, you know what?

Thanos had a point here. I kind of, it'd be better if there were people on both sides of this. You are in the less than 1% in siding with the over the top. I disagree. I think most people watch shows about aliens versus humans and inherently take the side of humans. Like, we want to be on this side. And the reason that they had to write it so cartoonishly. evil is because they were trying to undermine the natural organic reaction with like but look how mean they're being maybe it is better if humans just die and it's like okay well no that's not compelling are humans at risk of extinction and we'll see the the the real compelling premise would be that humans were at risk if they wrote it in such a way that it's a vague allusion to quote corporate profits then that's just bad riding in another self because now the stakes are slow as to who gives a fuck

I haven't seen the first one in a while, but my memory was that there was this talk of like, we have to have results because people are counting on us and, you know, we're... I thought that was it too. Yeah, you're right. There's a decaying planet with massive pollution, famine, water shortages, and widespread poverty. Earth's population had reached 20 billion. That seems like a lot. Resource scarcity and I don't think I completely made up the corporate profit thing, though. trying to find it yeah i wouldn't be surprised it if i remember the second one like like profit

from milking the whales was a big driver for like the whalers like they were going to make a lot of money from each whale like it was a huge amount of money not to mention it's like life extending whale oil i don't know especially in that second one i was all in for the humans it was like i had no yeah they're mining unobtainian to make super superconductors or something for corporate profits like both are true okay i mean that makes sense yeah i just i always side with humanity uh and in those even if humanity supposedly the bad guys like in uh i don't know if you ever seen or read inders game i'm not that on that sure inders game is essentially humanities that been in this very long war i don't remember how

long with a giant alien hive mine swarm species that are like insectoid looking and they even in space their ships are these huge swarms uh these swarming masses and um the story uh surrounds a boy named ender and he he's part of this program um to train commanders from like childhood to to to be able to um to win the future war and so you you follow this eight i think he's eight this eight year old boys like journey through this training program and it's lots of like zero G space hand-to-hand combat team building like how he's he's got his like squad of children that he like is the commander of against other squads of children and they have these these virtual battles that that he commands over where they've got like a VR set up

and I'm going to spoil the whole movie so if any and the book so if anybody doesn't want to know but you get to the end and he's like he's trying to win the big simulation and he's like sacrificing his own ships and they're like, what is he doing? They'll all die. He's like, it doesn't matter if we all die. The gun just has to get close enough to their home planet to go off. And he's just just sacrificing tens and hundreds of thousands of humans to like use his human shields of spaceships around his cannon that's just being flanked and encircled by all of his, his buddy ships that they're commanding. And he shoots the cannon and destroys the planet and wins the simulation. And the humans come in the room. I think

Harrison Ford's in it, maybe, and he's like, you did it, Ender? I won the simulation? No, you won the war. It was all real. It hadn't been a simulation. He had just commanded, he had just lost hundreds of thousands of humans and committed complete genocide on an entire race of aliens. And that's kind of how, that's how that movie goes.

That's a good movie. Actually, I take it back. It's an okay movie. It's a really good book. Have you seen Plurvis yet? where are you on that? I haven't gone back to it. I got sucked so hard into these Warhammer 40K novels that it's taken up. I mean, too much of my time. Like, I don't, I'm multitasked at this point. I'm washing dishes while I listen to these books. I'm so enthralled with them. I'm not

going to spoil Pluribus. Thank you. Because I am going to watch. I think that there's nine episodes. It's not a spoiler. And I think they could have been condensed to three. Just a very drawn out storytelling. I have this idea I'm making all this up. That in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, he had people sort of telling him like, you know what, we got to give the audience something. We got to do whatever. Now Vince Gilligan, I think that's his name, is a big enough like Titan in the industry that he gets to make exactly

what he wants to make. So here we are for fucking 50 minutes in a row. That's what happened to Taylor Sheridan. Person Walk. That's what happened to Taylor Sheridan. exactly Taylor Sheridan wrote I don't know if he directed Sicario but I think he wrote it and he wrote another like Western type movie

that was really good and Yellowstone happened and it blew up and then he had licensed to make all of these other shows and if you really analyze what they are there's soap offers for blue collar men like it's the young and the rest list for Billy and Bob

like it's and Billy Bob you know when you when you boil it down There's a lot of like right wing propaganda or at least corporate, you know, propaganda mixed into it, which makes sense of when you've got to show about the oil industry. My guess is that oil, maybe some oil company did them a favor and is letting them shoot like on their derricks and rigs and stuff. And like maybe that goes hand in hand. I don't even know. But I still like it.

I like Billy Bob Thornton enough that I'll still watch Landman, even though it is it is 100% of. soap opera and I recognize that now. I liked Yellowstone and then I just kept falling out of it. And then is it 1923 the second one? Yes.

With that, that was so bad season one that I think I just never came back. Yeah, he lost me on that big time. That's a show that like hypes up a character. You're like, everybody's always talking about.

Gandalf's coming, you know? And off the white bitch. you don't even know he was a hero in the war and the guys there were a lot of hero I never saw a hero and I fought in the war

oh yeah well he won the congressional medal of honor and he fought in the Ardeans oh shit and he's coming and then you do

10 episodes of that he's coming and he shows up and he kills three people who weren't even looking at him and that was and it's like

what the fuck I could have done that two higher guns could have done that like any of us could have like we didn't this guy traveled

from Africa to shoot three or four bullets total. And that's that it was, and then his girl dies and like people are getting frostbitt and it's all sad at the end. Like, fuck that show. Fuck that. You know, write a better show. I was super annoyed with that.

And I didn't like the, uh, the other prequel where they're in the Wild West like settling. Oh, with the slutty chick. The slutty little girl. It's like, it's like, we'd have like done something to her. Like, like, she's going to have to She'd have been down for it. She'd have been down for it.

Yeah. I guess so. Yeah, I don't. I'm done with, I'm done with all that stuff. I'm going to keep watching Landman, though. I can't, I won't go back to like Yellowstone, but I like Philly Bob Thornton. So I'm stuck with Landman. Oh, he's talking about Landman reminded me of Yellowstone.

And I told you guys years ago that my grandpa was a cattle rancher. And so, like, he didn't like some of the unrealistic things about cattle ranching. He also spent a lot of time in the, as a trucker in like the 70s, and we were watching the founder just two nights ago at my grandparents' house. It's that McDonald's movie, like, it's about the founding, Michael Keaton, the guy from Parks and Rec, the woodwork worker from Parks and Rec, Ron Swanson, Ron Swanson, that actor, I don't know what his name is, but he's good in it. And it's a great movie.

And Nick Offerman. Number one, I'll say, when it's like post-dinner family movie time, I'm such a good picker of movies because I'm very specific to find something that will like grab the boomer and also have no explicit sex. Nothing, nothing like that. My grandparents don't want to see that. They certainly don't want to watch that with us. But we watched the founder. And one of the scenes early on is Michael Keaton. driving to San Bernardino from San Bernardino to Vegas for like their second thing.

And it showed him getting off at like exit 116 into Nevada or something. And like my grandpa was sitting there and he's like, that's not even the right exit to get where he's gone. And I'll tell you, that ain't nothing. What one X16 looks like ain't nothing. There ain't got big mountains in the back. And I just loved that about him. He knows every road. any road in any show you watch with him ask me a road he knows everything he'll be like he'll just

bring it up like any movie where like they're they're filming in Atlanta and it's supposed to be California or something he'll be like that's Atlanta and they just immediately I will recognize so Griffin Georgia is in as just south of Atlanta it's where a lot of the walking dead was filmed I lived there for a year and a half or so and I'll recognize those streets in so many movies like like lots of stuff is filmed in Georgia and I'll be like that's that's fucking Griffin that's the red light I've been there I was like they're about to drive watch this they're going to

drive past a smoke shop oh look they changed the windows with a smoke shop they made it look like a barber shop like like it's it's pretty cool to see a place that you've lived in be like in the movie Ty Cobb I don't know if you've ever seen that it's real good it's filmed in Royston Georgia to some small

extent and Livonia Georgia that you know there's little towns that I'm from was he a famous brave he's the greatest hitter in major League Baseball. He played for the Sox, Tyrus Raymond Cobb. He is from my hometown. Yeah. He competed during like the same period of time as Babe Ruth. Okay, cool. Didn't know. How many hits he's had? It's some enormous amount. I had obviously heard of Ty Cobb. I just didn't know the significance. Yeah. So number one hits all time is Pete Rose with 44,256. And Ty Cobb has 4,19. Hank Aaron's way behind him.

People don't hit that much anymore. Why is Pete Rose's 40-year-old record standing? I don't, I think that he played for so long. I don't, I, I think he played a super long career and he was good. It takes both. You have to be an exceptional hitter and you have to play for 20-something years plus. I don't like how when you, when you look at, baseball stats they have so many stats

that they often don't even include total career games played which I always want to see because as a hockey guy you do yeah they're all about like they I want to see longevity her game stats yeah yeah like I want to see if this guy was

you know Pete Rose played 3,562 games I wonder how that compares to the others like uh wow it's the most of any player is it I was wondering how Cal Ripkin, is he on your list? I didn't have a list. I was just looking for Pete Rose. But Pete Rose has several records. He has most games played, most hits, and most at bats.

Wow, Cal Ripkin Jr. played a record, what he, 2,632 consecutive games. That's why. I knew his career wasn't as long as Pete Rose, but he didn't miss games, so his number might be really high. That's crazy. 2,632 consecutive games That's very impressive The games played stats for baseball are just bananas Compared to every other sport

Because they have over double everyone else by a good bit That's always weird when I go to like Tom Brady's page Like on Wikipedia or ESPN or whatever Because I want to see his career stats And you go to like games played And it's like 290 Or like 310 or whatever it is It's such a low number for basketball

hockey, certainly baseball, that it's weird that a whole career can be in that few games. Cal Ripkin was 8th with 3,000 and 1 compared to Pete Rose's 3,500. That's a ton of fucking baseball.

Too much. They called him the Iron Man. I remember, I remember like not being a fan of his, but as a fan of baseball, being very much aware of him and what he was up to. I think there were games where he barely played to make that streak a little like

I think he played third base or shortstop like he played a contact like position like he had you know you've got to move around and hustle and and do stuff it's not first base you know first base you you don't have a lot of

territory to cover and you don't get a lot of hits to you anywhere Pete Rose wasn't the baseball player who they won't let into the Hall of Fame because of they will that is Pete Rose yeah that is Pete Rose he died like two years ago maybe I see that on his wiki I'm looking at they still haven't let them in

I don't think they're going to they mean business fuck off fuck off you have to let them in they didn't let any of the black socks in all those guys who got called I don't know what the black socks are

okay what is that they fix the world series they fix the world series how tell me this I'm interested several players of the of the white socks took payments from a gangster it's if you watch boardwalk empire

they cover this a little bit it's um it's he's not jewish it's i'm trying to remember the gangster's name it's escaping me but anyway this gangster paid some of the white socks to to lose the game to lose the world series and obviously he he was betting heavily the other way yeah how this was like 20s 30s around prohibition so 20s that's crazy i'd never even heard that story yeah yeah and they called the black socks they got rid of all the black socks no matter how good they their career was anyone who took money. They were banned from the game of baseball.

Yeah. Okay, well, that's fair. That makes sense. Yeah. Did Pete Rose only bet on himself to win? I feel like that was his thing. That's what he always claimed. And there's no evidence that he'd,

there's no evidence how he bet, just that he bet. So you just kind of have to take his word for it. Although, he coached as well. He was clearly playing to win based on these stats. He was gambling during his coaching time, I believe. That's my understanding of the whole thing.

On his own team? He was a player coach. So he says. He did both at the same time. Yeah. I'll be a coach when you're also a player. This guy should be let in. His stats are too good not to.

This would be like not letting in Mario Lemieux into the NHL Hockey Hall of Fame because he was like a shithead a couple times. I don't know. I think it sends a message to other players. Like don't think that after you die, we're going to go back on like, let you in and you'll get to have your legacy that's that's convincing too your legacy well we don't care how good you are you know who's got the most hits most games plays most most at bats yeah he'll never be in the hall you know why because he did what you're not supposed to do so don't do it all right you'll never get a broad that's an excellent argument and it is a great deterrent

you're right and it's it feels sad for him it almost speaks to like where the money was right because LeBron, the best players in basketballs are not the cheaters and basketball are not the cheaters. LeBron's not cheating. He's a billionaire. You think he wants to make $1,000 by throwing a game or even $100,000? It's the shitty players who don't really have much of a career, who are lucky to be in the league who are cheating. I think that comes with the advent of all the prop betting.

So I think what you're describing, the ability of a lesser player to affect the betting odds of a game or betting outcomes of various prop bets comes with those really nitty-gritty prop bets about, how many minutes will Jefferson play under or over two minutes? He's usually a two-minute guy. And Jefferson's like, I'm sick tonight.

It's going to be under. So bet the house, you know? Like it's the ability of them. Those bets, to my knowledge, didn't really exist. And they certainly didn't exist with the online anonymity and ability to like get your buddies all to like score in and and you know it used to be winners and losers in the earliest days and and then like it's just proliferated but different ways you can bet on games when I was placing

those bets on the Super Bowl and the college championship I was like oh man there's so many ways to lose money I could bet on anything I don't like it I don't see it going away I don't know how possibly could but and I also get how betting on a gamer and outcome in a bunch of different ways makes it more entertaining for you like I get it I get it but my gosh the betting is infiltrated everything used to be about winning and losing and like sport and competition is now about money and little odd statistics that can make or lose money I see a difference in that like I have a ton of friends who do the sports betting regularly but none of them are like addicted to sports betting like if if I hung out with them

10 times in a row, they're not going to be one of those people who's like, oh, dude, I got a parlay on fucking whatever, whatever. They're never, they're never going to mention it. They're like successful adults, many of them with kids that bet like $5 on a random NHL or MLB or just any game to keep them entertained where they're like, oh, I could win 15 bucks if the Reds win. Oh, this is just kind of entertaining in my evening. I don't have a problem with that at all. I think it's fine. People should have the freedom to do that. There are people, though.

And if you've ever met one, like the gambling, the sports gambling addicts, the true addicts, where it's just, it's all they want to talk about. You can ask them like, how are you doing? What's new? And it'll be like, well, I got a big prop bat on it. It's like, I was meeting more like friends, like family, like jobs, like like your life. I'm not passing judgment on people who bet. Like that wasn't where I was coming from. I just don't like that when I, you look at who might win the Super Bowl or whatever.

It's all gambling related. all odds. It's like, it's hard to even follow sports without it being about gambling. It's like, that's not the part that I'm interested in. I stay away from the gambling because I don't think I'd win. I think you can have fun in fantasy. I'm just not interested in. I've never done fantasy anything. But if you guys ever wanted to do one on a sport that I like, I would have happily join in, but I won't do basketball. We don't like. Taylor and I could do hockey maybe, but I'd lose probably. We could do it. Like the thing that I'm 100% on board with you, Woody, about there being too much gambling talk, even from the talking heads.

That's what I'm trying to say. I despise that because like the color guy now instead of being like Alex Ovechkin, four goals in his last six games, he's at 911 goals. That's, you know, 17 ahead of Gretzky's record. He's going to keep going like just like fun talk about like records being broke. Instead of that, it's now like, you know, the capitals, you know, are, looks like they're going to hit the over of 3.5 goals. that's big for a lot of people and it's like I just don't I don't I'm I don't bet on the

capitals having over 3.5 goals I don't care I just want to see OV score that's why anyone watches the capitals now you want to see how much OV is going to run up the record the goal record on Gretzky that's why anyone's watching them I agree maybe I'm just being selfish but I'm like I I don't want your gambling talk to infiltrate my interest in this sport I don't have interest in your gambling and it's it used to be all about what I like and now it's spread out yeah if you're like if if you just hit for one of my buddies

and you just hit a great bet and you made $400 on some random thing and you're excited about it, tell me about it, sure. But I don't give a fuck when we're like sitting down to watch Alabama, Georgia and they're like,

Alabama has to lose by over a touchdown or else my daughter doesn't eat. It's like, all right, well, this isn't great. But dead. I don't think it's going to be a change right now.

So, Patty Pimble, Justin Geichie, that's the next huge fight I'm looking forward to. I know where you lean on this. It looks to me like Justin Geachie is a almost a two to one favorite here. He's plus 195 and Pimbled is a negative 246 underdog, which makes sense. That's exactly how I feel about that fight. I think that Pimlet's going to get smoked. I think all of his opponents are bad or like geysers and he's been walked up the ladder and I support it fully. I'm glad that this is what happened. I think it's shrewd business

businessmanship from from Dana White. I feel like he's been playing the fucking or conducting the orchestra perfectly and he walked Justin or Patty Pimlet all the way to the gates of the of the main event and Gachie's gonna shit on him. I think he's going to starch him. I mean I wish you were right and I and I might even agree Gachie's 37 though. Gaci is yet another geyser. And Patty Pimlet is at his peak. Gachy's a

great, was a great fighter. I'm just not sure he's better than like this version of him that we're going to see is going to beat Patty too. It's a big night of fights. It's Patty Pimbleau and Gaichy and then Amanda Nunez and Kayla Harrison. Nunez coming out of retirement to take on the giant that is Kayla Harrison.

Sean O'Malley is fighting Song Yadong. Derek Lewis doesn't matter who he's fighting. I'm there for it. Rosenama Yunus, also on the card. It's a great card they've put together for the beginning of this Paramount deal. I'm very excited for it. I think a lot of the fighters that we want to win are going to lose that night. I think all our favorite fighters are like 37 years old, and we're going to see a changing of the guard.

Don't you hate that? Like when your generation of favorite fighters ages out, and it's happened a couple times. My generation would be a medical miracle. It would. They would, like, have a CBS special on it. Right. They'd be like, the man who doesn't leave Philip Rivers is in the game. Like, Don Frye is the champion? Dude, I, I'm, like, I'm, I'm behind you guys in age, obviously, but I'm getting to that point at 34, Woody, that you mentioned years ago, where just, just a couple nights ago, I was trying to fall asleep, couldn't fall asleep. And so I do what I often do. I pull up the ESPN app and I just like scroll through the goal leaders and point leaders that year.

and I'll like just think like oh what I've heard about this guy for a long time what's his career like this guy's been around forever and it's like he's 32 and I'm like he can't be younger than me no that's not right and then like go back and I'm like trying to find all the old timers and when I find someone who's like 40 it's an ovechkin level player like there's there's maybe it feels like there's 25 players older than me left in the NHL right and I hate this this is really upsetting it gets worse at some point you'll mention high players and like Eric Lindros and they're like I don't even know who that is Eric Limeros was a dominant star how could you not like he's like he and I are like one day different in age and he's just an ancient history at this point I love that that you're that he was your anchor point of a player right for how my life is going to that's such a discouraging player to have your anchor attached to where it's like what's he what's he doing oh fucking owning even the best of the best people day in and day out constantly for a whole career. Fuck.

Fuck. Yeah. I remember that. Like the first instance of that was back in 2014 when the blues signed or no, it was before this, but like when I first kind of noticed his age of Vladimir Tarasenko. And I was like, oh man,

this guy's awesome. Young gun like this and that. And he's six months younger than me. And I was like, wow, I rent cars and I hate myself. And this guy's like scoring. so many goals in the

I'm like wow maybe I find a nice tall bridge make something happen but yeah that's depressing when I wrote a motorcycle to Boise Idaho and I saw the enterprise renter car I was so excited I took a picture and sent it to Taylor

and he's like that's not the one I wanted it to be the one so bad that's not the one that's that's what is 37 47 That's the Nampa branch or whatever it was at the time. I really wished it was. I should have made a special.

Give me the address. I want to see where the magic happened. Yeah, the Boise Auto Mall. If you're in Boise, hop on over the Boise Auto Mall and find the horrible enterprise I worked at for a few years, 13 years ago. Yeah. I was wondering a few weeks ago when Trump took that first oil tanker,

like, what are we going to do with the oil? And what are we going to do with the tanker? And then he answered the question. He says, we're keeping them. How about this? We're keeping the oil. We're keeping the tanker. And then they've taken like three of these gigantic oil tankers now.

How about this? We're fired. We put the oil tankers near the coasts of enemies. And then they know we can kill all your shrimp in a second. I just know. Like, listen, you can't just take oil tankers from other countries. Like. Seems like you can.

It's. piracy. Dude, I'm remembering the time that, like, would we give Iran's money back 25 years later with interest? That shit's going to happen again. I hope not. That would be gay. Yes. Well, it was their money. Like, like, you know, you know. But we took it. Well, we gave it. We held it until they signed an agreement and that and part of the agreement was letting their funds go back to them. So if, if the same happens, here, then Venezuela doesn't even

own these oil tankers. We did keep money from that. That's fair. Like, you know, let them have the fucking interest. That was, I'm sure that's part of the agreement.

I was fine with that. That deal made a ton of sense. Is it even good oil? Is this American quality oil? Yes. American quality oil is low quality oil just so you know. What you want is sweet crude.

We don't have sweet crude? Not in the continental United States. We don't. Interesting. Does Canada? Does Alberta? I've seen those maps with They've got that dirty shale oil.

It's crazy how much. I think you have it backwards. I think that I'm here's, I looked into this recently. American oil, I think, is the sweet kind. But I know what it is, is it's the lighter kind that is easier to refine. But America makes its money on this thick tar like garbage oil that's much more difficult to refine. And we have the high tech refineries that can deal with it that other people don't. Also, the thick.

sort of tarry oil has the, the output of the refinery, better matches are demand. So they kind of mix the sweet and the thick stuff to get the right amount of butane, propane, gasoline, heating oil, etc. How am I doing? Is that the only difference? Yeah, yeah. So the U.S. produces significant quantities of sweet crude oil, especially light sweet crude oil from shale formations like the Bacan and Permian Basin is down in Texas, which is low in sulfur and easy to refine. However, much of the U.S. refining infrastructure was built for

heavier sources of crude from places like Mexico or Venezuela, leading the U.S. to export its light sweet oil while importing the heavier crude oil to match its refineries. Because America is in a unique spot in that we have these really good refineries that can deal with your really shitty oil. And that's why we don't refine our own stuff. And I was like, well, how much would it cost to convert over

And basically chat GPT is like, you're a terrible businessman. Why would you convert this refinery that can handle the stuff nobody wants and has a really good output for this stuff that anyone can refine? Like it would cost billions and then in the end you'd have a less profitable business. So that's why we are where we are. Are we one of their principal oil export partners or not? Isuela? No. I don't think so.

No. We try to strangle them economically. We used to be. We used to be one of their main ones. It was like, I can see the graph. It was like 16% of our imports came from Venezuela, something like that, which is significant. And then they turned us off. And now their stuff goes to China.

And so China's their main buying partner. That's my understanding. Okay. Interesting. But the boats are, it's one of those weird things where like the boat will be, the boat will be owned by, say, a Russian billionaire or an Israeli billionaire, but be flagged out of like Gibraltar and owned by some subsidiary and it's it's so complicated it's like you guys are up to no good I could tell I can tell you're up to no good or it'd be you know like I promise you my boat was in my name and it was here like where it was part and it wasn't owned by

a subsidiary of any fucking thing y'all are up to no good with these boats flagged out of different countries you're getting out of paying your taxes clearly while like avoiding while avoiding the ramifications of an oil spill or some such while still maintaining the maximum profits like you pieces of shit so i don't know who actually owns the boat but i guarantee it's some israeli or some russian billionaire but trump claims we're keeping them i think it's just another piece of part of his like bullshit say whatever you want in the moment and then let the pieces fall where they may they'll be that's the problem he says too much stuff while he's vibing yeah and then afterward they're like president Trump you said you're going to seize these and he's like I don't know what you're talking about you're gay by the way nobody answer his questions he's a

no he'd be like seize them you don't talk about seizing did you see us landing did you see those pilots put those helicopters those beautiful birds right over those oil tankers and you'd be like talking about like how well the Coast Guard special forces like captured

pacifist oiler right they didn't put up a fight i'll tell you that it's like they didn't fight probably because they were at work but they had no weapons and they were asleep they're not soldiers they it would be like if somebody tried to conquer like a chippole and you're a burrito maker and you're like whatever man whatever whatever you want like what he's doing is he's trying to starve that nation of any economic success and put pressure on the cartels

to go after the, he's trying to topple the leader without war. Yeah. Which is like, they don't have a ton of reserves. If this was happening in a vacuum of like a tremendous presidency, we'd be sitting here going, man, guys actually playing the 3D chess, you know?

Like, I don't think he's going to fire a shot and he's going to topple this regime and then let them clean up their own mess. but like it's not in the vacuum of a tremendous presidency and it's in the it's in this quagmire of shit and humiliation and public outrage where you're like i don't think he knows what he's doing at any point of the day like did you see him taking phone calls for kids at christmas night no i didn't see that i saw the the clip of him of some girl being like don't send me cole and he's like you don't want clean beautiful call saw another clip that made me laugh where he was like talking to some kid and he was like, what are you on for Christmas? She's, I want to

Kindle and he's like, you must be a high IQ person. We need more high IQ people. You know, a little kid that was a reading device, that's kind of true. I saw the one where the little girl calls in and he's like, oh, you sound so little and cute. How old are you? And she's like,

eight, tremendous. what do you want probably some more do you remember the one of the flower marks you can avoid it that I think the funniest Trump clip

maybe of all time came about seven years ago eight years ago you guys will remember this where he was on the phone doing the same thing like the Christmas talk to kids

venture and he was he's like all right now on the phone with President Donald J. Trump is seven year old Micah from Kansas or whatever.

And he's like, how are you doing, Micah? Great to talk to you. I hear you're a big fan of mine. That's great. He's like, yeah, Mr. President. And he's like, you're excited to get stuff from Santa? Santa? You believe in Santa?

Because, you know, and the like turns the camera, he's like, because at seven, it's marginal, you know? That was the funniest clip I think. At seven, it's marginal, like holding the phone to your shoulder as you're talking. to a seven, because, you know, it's marginal at this age. You're getting from from Santa? That reminds me of Billy Bob and bad Santa. He's got the kid on his knee, and he's like, hurry up, kid. Santa's

a busy man, and so am I. That's a good one, too. That made me laugh. That's such a goofy tradition to have the president talk to children about what they want. I like it. And then they do the NORAD, like, tracking Santa's sleigh. I think, I think, I think That's so fun and so good for kids.

My favorite form of government spending. I, yeah. If USA would make it better, here's what would make it better. Here's what would make it better. If they took some fucking fighter jets and they did flyovers of like all the major cities and they had local broadcasts regardless of what time, you know, like, oh, kids, Santa's passing over right now. If you look out, you just might see him in his sleigh, lit up, having over the metropolitan area. fly some F-18's over.

What were they doing? What were they doing? Turn the afterburners on? Turn the red lights on. Oh, that one's Rudolph, you know? Fire a few hellfire missiles off, let him know Santa'll play, oh, shit. That'd be cool. Okay, okay.

We'd take it a step towards a little too far. I mean, Santa certainly would have some sort of point defense cannonry on his sleigh, or he'd have been shot down by now. I mean, Flares, maybe, but not hellfires. That would be funny. air-to-air targets if he set it up where he was like little little isaic what do you need and he's like i want to i want to press the button that kills an iranian general he's like well you're in luck because you're going to get to push it we're going to do it no one can stop me can i give a kill

order can i give it where you can little isaic say it i want to fuck up solomani do it the little boys wish that would be the fun part of being a president like you try to pretend like it you weren't having a good time but you'd be down in the situation room right we're taking out a bad guy you got the onboard cameras of the seal team so you got this bank of like eight cameras rolling you got the other cameras showing you the thermal view from up top and you're watching break down doors and they're like Mr. President on your order you know execute that'd be fucking cool I'd be fucking giddy as a school girl in there president You're going bananas. You're doing whatever you want. I'm bombing all those boats that are killing whales. The Japanese, you're declaring war on the Japanese? No, the Japs are good about that now. They don't do it too much anymore.

No, that's them. They're the ones. No, we have them on a budget. It's the Chinese. The Chinese kill them like they're mad. The Japanese have a budget and it's for like research and science, but it's fucking not, right? But they do stick to their limits, I'm told. China, on the other hand, fucking Wild West.

I have the top three here, and you're not going to do well in this. Who do you think the number one killer of whales in the oceans of our beautiful planet on here on Pandora? Philippines. Not even close. Indonesia. Nope. I said not even close.

I meant geographically. Okay. I think China's one. Am I wrong? Nope. You're wrong. Geographically. Not even in the top three.

Is this a per capita list? Is this a raw number list? Like, what is it? Actually, hang on. I found a better list. All right. I want to start over. Okay. Good. Because I was correct. Still China? No. Indonesia.

China's not even in the top. China doesn't wail according to this. China whales their fucking asses off, dude. I have a list here from the world population. From the world China Institute. I've got the top five countries with the most whales taken, and China's not on the list. Okay. Well, tell me. Indonesia They are way down there

They took 612 whales Between 85 and 2024 Then my other one Philippines They're not even on the list here That can't I'm trying to pick like United States took way more whales

In the Philippines According to this list 2000 We killed the bad ones The bad ones to keep the good ones All right It's the aboriginals and illegal whaling combined. So you're sure it's not China?

Yeah, yeah, I'm positive. Okay, Norway. Oh, number two. That's your dark horse pick right there. That's a good call. Greenland. No wait. Greenland? Not on the list.

Hmm. I got Japan, number one. They hate whales. 24,000. Russia's way on down there at only 3,600. And it's all Aboriginal. but it's aboriginal whaling it's not even industrial whaling like you can't be mad at the abo whaling well yeah because part of their culture pretty much yeah all the the russians when we think of russians

live so far towards europe on that side they wouldn't be whaling uh well norwegians whale a ton it's also part of their yeah but don't we we've got them on a budget too i they're pretty high on the list norway 17 000 commercial under object no they do commercial whaling and they do illegal whaling, and they do special permit whaling, all three. They killed 400 whales this year. I think we should mostly shut down whaling. Like, we're strong enough. We should do that. I mean, you want to talk to our allies, the Japs and the Norwegians, and we'd have most of, like, 90% of the whaling shut down.

I think Norway's killing, like, bullshit whales, though. No, no, think about it. Right whale? Not for me. I call it the wrong whale. They're these small North Sea whales. Are they smaller in the North Sea? Yes.

Yeah, they're like not, they're not these mammoths. Like I thought. Jacques Cousteau over here justifying the white people's whaling. You know, an hour ago. Also justifying the Japanese. I'm also justifying the Japanese. They're friends. I like them.

Why are you pro whale? Why should we shut? down all whaling. Because they're very intelligent. They're very smart. See, I'm pro-humanity over here. I think anything we feel like doing is okay. If there was a whale, if there's a planet full of whales that we need to take over,

I would be the first, give me the harpoon. If that were the situation. I'll old yell or every, I'll stab them in their beautiful, loving eyes that look up at me mournfully as they, as they psychically tell me, I forgive you. Shasha!

And all do they know, that's an explosive. harpoons. I don't care. I need your planet whales. But these earth whales, they ain't got nothing we need, you know? And I think the fact that we shouldn't kill, just the same reason you shouldn't need forks have never killed a person or harmed a person and that they routinely sink our boats when our boats annoy them, we think.

We don't know why they're sinking them, but they clearly know they're sinking those little boats for a reason. Those boats have annoyed them or maybe there's a boat. strike happened 20 years ago that made them mad and they sink those boats and the survivors are in the water and the whales look at them like yeah don't fucking boat here and leave they've never heard a person outside of that one whale that fucked up some people in captivity they were tortured that whale that's a mentally ill whale you can't blame him but if all the whales in the sea were full to the brim of insulin and things that would save human lives then then i would be

The fucking cheap for the rest of the world. Name something, if it's a cure for cancer and all of our whales have it. They've got whale oil fixes cancer, magically. They figured that out. Well, let's get to the fucking pump of that oil. We farm them, you know, we like the bile bears, just what I said earlier. Yeah, we save people. You know about the bile bears?

Yes, Russia was milking the bears, which I didn't know bears had bile. So like, I don't even know what bile is, but Russians apparently love the stuff. And I think it comes out of like a bear's digestive system. It's a digestive juice, right? Bile. Yeah. Bile is created by your ball. They have these poor bears. They have these poor bears in tiny cages with open incisions and like tubes coming out of their gut, constantly like farming their bile.

What is the use? Like what it? Does it make food? Does it make drinks? Does it make medicine? What is it? I can get my best guess is it's fucking like cosmetics and fragrances and like something frivolent like that. It's what raspberry really is.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What is bear bile used for? It is a traditional Asian medicine. It's the active, it's considered medicine with a bitter flavor. It fights shampoo, wines, teas, eyedrops, and acne treatments. Yeah, that's what the modern uses are. It's a digestive juice that comes from the liver and breaks down fats. Yeah.

Interesting. I thought the gallbladder had a part to play. bile penknit. What was the second? But I don't know. I don't know. But if they had magic healing human juice, we'd have to farm them. Yeah, you take them out. Yeah, whatever. But they don't. They make substandard shampoo for Russians. If the Russians had herbal essences, they would never milk another bear. I promise you that. Yeah, we just need to air drop some fucking head and shoulders and they're, they'd knock the locks off. They'd knock the locks off. of every barricades.

Maybe a little, maybe a little Garnier fructice. Oh. In case people are wondering, we got to the bottom of this. It's produced by the liver. It's stored and concentrated in the gallbladder, and it's released into the small intestine when you eat fatty food. The more you know.

Look at us. Learning. Anyway, but our whales don't have anything we actually need. So, like, I think, I know they're not human intelligence, but like they're they're smart enough that i i don't think we should be fucking with them they're way too smart to to bother even like like i don't think it should be legal to annoy a whale we've already got meat down leave them alone chickens pigs cows like we got a great streamline there you're going to kill whales it's yeah yeah i mean you know when in rome

you can kill the whales yeah yeah man those norwegians I didn't know they were such bastards. Yeah, isn't that where that movie, I've never watched it because I know it would make me sad, but it's called The Cove. And I think it's about like this yearly, like, slaughter of dolphins in some cove in Iceland or Norway or somewhere like that. And like the, all the dolphins swim in,

and they just spear them in the shallows to death or something like that. There's a whole documentary about it, but that's the sort of thing that upsets me, so I didn't watch it. The mink, the mink whale. Oh, okay. Is what Norwegians are hunting. And let me see if I was right that it was one of the, not to rip on it, but one of the less impressive. A lesser whale?

A lesser feet long. That's a big boy. Oh, okay. 1,000 pounds. Okay, that's way more real deal than I thought. Never mind then. I retracted by calling. They're fighting, obviously, obviously sperm.

Yeah, sperm. Taylor is a huge fan. It's a huge fan of sperm mouse. If you say blue whale, it's like, this guy doesn't fucking know whales. This guy doesn't fucking know whales. This guy knew one whale. It's like blue whales.

No, you don't know whales. Here's why. Blue whales are the largest animal to have ever existed in Earth's history. You go back to the dinosaurs. We've never had an animal bigger than the blue whale. And I feel like we are gifted. We are blessed to coexist with the biggest thing that ever was. And I think it's pretty cool, right?

Like I think with elephants, like, yeah, they used to be bigger. With tigers, they used to be bigger. With whales right now, prime time. And to go for any lesser whale, I think, is just not to reach for the stars. If you're going to go blue whale, I get it. it is awesome that they're the biggest thing that we know of until we find some fucking sick stuff which i believe is out there there could be sick stuff down at the bottom but i take the same approach but with sperm whale it's the largest predator who has ever existed by an enormous

margin like it's not every everyone talks about how i'm pretty sure they were because uh orcas the only thing orca's fear are sperm whales that's the only thing there are afraid of. They will fiddle fuck around. They conquer the ocean. They make great whites run away. They eat sharks because they're tasty. Yeah. They hear a sperm whales call underneath the liver. Did you know that? They

just eat the liver. Yeah, they just eat the liver. And then they let it sink and then it creates a whole ecosystem on the floor, which I couldn't get the liver out of a shark if I had a scalpel in a flashlight. Oh, so Orcas eat shark livers. Yeah. I think they're vitamin A deficient. And so they eat a ton of liver where they can

find it. Spirm whales go down 10,000. feet in the ocean and fight giant squids and they win almost every time seemingly I don't know how they'd lose I mean they're all flop there are bigger and they're stronger but also think about that think of being

the predator that what everyone assumes the apex predator is afraid of like that pod of killer whales runs away when they hear a sperm whale 6,000 feet down do a call because they're like shit just got real

we need to leave like sperm whales are dope i didn't know i didn't know they were the largest predator although i just didn't really think about it i knew that they were predator they were the thing all the other things were i thought they were going to be bigger than that they're bigger than megalodon was too yeah they're they're awesome sperm whales or so they have those gigantic teeth on the bottom row and they insert into the top row with those holes like it's like a video game the way their jaws close where they have like a socket that perfectly fits every tooth sperm whales are sick. Top whale. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Top two, certainly.

Two would be the blue whale. You're right about the blue whale being in the top two, 100%. Like, I can't think of the whale I think is cooler than the blue whale other than the yeah, but like they get owned so hard by the sperm whale that they have to drop a bit. I mean, I might like, so the orcas work in these pods that are led by a matriarch that could be like 25, 30 years old. And she trains the others in all these advanced hunting techniques. So they'll go under and they'll blow water, air up to make the water less buoyant for the prey. So it falls beneath the water. They'll do this thing where as a group, they create a wake above them and ahead of them. And they create a wave to like wash seals off of their icy

purchase. They're on like a chunk of ice out isolated and they'll do this very like well orchestrated thing where several of them create the wave and then splash the thing and then the other one is coming in for the kill. They'll do that move where they beach themselves and and grab prey and all of that is like taught behavior that. Have you ever seen dolphins heard their prey like that? Yeah and I've watched flippers a kid so I'm very impressed by the dolphin. we as a lifeguard the i don't even know if they were dolphins or porpoises or what the difference is but i'd see them heard the bluefish and sometimes they used a jetty which is like a pile of rocks that go straight out is one of the barriers and like you said they blow the bubbles i didn't know

about the buoyancy but it seemed like it was just a scare tactic like they wouldn't swim through the bubbles and they would just yeah shrink and shrink and shrink until they have this really dense area of fish like a school and then they would just go nuts and eat all the fish that they heard it was kind of neat to watch i've only seen whales in the aquarium i'm thinking i might do one of those cruises your parents go on just but what i want is to see i don't care about stopping at every port along the way like i i kind of want to see do one of those like alaskan cruises where you see like icebergs and whales i would i would rather do that i haven't done it i know it's expensive asking i'm sorry alaskin cruises are more expensive than most

but the uh the stopping stuff is pretty cool too like you know imagine going around the Mediterranean and like hitting the Vatican, hitting the French Riviera, the Italian Riviera. Like, that's, it's a pretty dope trip. I think I'd rather see whales in the northern lights than cathedrals and nice restaurants. Not that I'm opposed to the other, but I prefer the the cathedrals are what all my friends who have been to Europe,

which I haven't. That's the thing they rave about. Like, even the non-religious ones, they're like, this is, you can't even comprehend the level of intricacy in these buildings at every point until you blows me, it blew me away. I'm like, what if that cathedral?

And they're like, that one, that's just a... That's a Denny's. Yeah, that's a Denny's around here. Come, come, come. Let me show you a cool one. I'm like, that one's not cool? The fuck? No, let's use a bullshit cathedral.

Only 700 years old. And it's like, really? Because that's older than everything I've ever seen in America. I'm in the Vatican asking the stupid questions. Like, is this bench special? They're like, no, no. Do you have this bench because God sat here? That he's in Jesus in here something? Ceilings are so tall here. I just went through a scale, Kyle, that's going to make you realize fully.

The sperm whale is the true champion of how loud their call is. It can kill him in. 236 decibels, which if you were right next to it, when it, call that would be enough to kill you as a point of comparison standing standing next to a rocket launch if you were standing close enough to not be incinerated to a space x rocket launch and you heard the full volume that's 180 decibels if i got into a shouting match with a sperm whale i'd literally die you would be killed yeah how many decibels did you say 180 for a rocket launch 236 for the loudest sperm whale call. I'm glad. I'm glad it's 236. Do you know how

loud the ping of an American nuclear submarine is? It's sonar. No, probably less than that. Of course not. 2.35. Whoa. It's weaker than the sperm whales call? That's crazy. Whether it's weaker because of like it, you know, maybe 235 decibels is the perfect strength.

Or, you know, maybe they just didn't turn it up. Sure, sure. It could be that they, it's not that they wouldn't go louder. It could be that. It's a lot. Yeah, maybe not. It's so loudest human sound is like 120 decibels. How loud is it on an aircraft, like an airliner when you're just sitting there in first class or whatever, you know, against the window? What's that droning roar that you're constantly like dealing with? Because I was, I've been listening to my audio book with my noise cancelling.

The taking off sound is 140 if you're near the engine. Oh, of course, of course. I want to know what the ambient noise level is in the cabin. of a commercial airliner so it take off it's 80 to 90 decibels but it crews it's 70 to 85 yeah see that's really fucking loud like like the first time i wore noise canceling headphones on on a on a flight it was like night and day it's like why why am why are we all doing this this is such a and the sound that an airplane makes like noise canceling headphones are particularly good at dealing with that. Yes. I love mine so much. Like I usually close like my door so I don't

hear like down in the living room where she's watching TV but and then the dogs can't circulate. They want the way they want to because they want to come snuggle with me for half an hour and then her for half an hour and go back and forth. They need maximum love and like putting those noise can't canceling things on. I can't hear the TV. I can't hear the air conditioner, the fan. Like like all that noise is gone and I can concentrate on. I'm doing. I love it. I love it so much. It's pretty neat like to demo them like it yeah. I don't know if you've had this experience like I have probably you go to target and you think you're in kind of a quiet building like I don't know no one's screaming or anything. It's sure it's

not silent and then you put it on and you realize how noisy it is just the ambient noise inside like a target or wall. Why don't they demo them right at the um the gate in the airport? There should be a demo there where you step into a little container, the same way you do that ear test at Costco or whatever, you step in with those sound chambers and they're like, this is 85 decibels. This is what it sounds like at cruising altitude. Now put on the boat's headset and you go to that wonderful place and with just some like classical music playing and they're like, all right, they're $280. Like you'd sell so many fucking headsets if people could just experience that for the first time. I know I would have bought them many times because it was. a long time where I didn't know that that they were just so good yeah I can see that next step is like all right do you want a fresh pair in the box or do you want this one sitting on the charger yeah oh you know what actually the one you freshly charge like they're not used right now they're not used they're just precharged we thought we'd sell them perfect yeah I don't know why someone doesn't do that it's a perfect thing to be because they sell bullshit at the airport

who's buying purses who's buying perfume and stuff at the airport I never understand those there's airport stores. They're like those mattress stores that nobody's ever inside of. At the airport, I always find myself buying extremely expensive bags of cash shoes. And that's what I snack on.

Those, those, what do you know, those light blue bags? I don't know why you call me out of those. He knows, he knows the light blue bag with the cash shoes in it.

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So there we go. All right. Man, I'm always a little bit sad post-Christmas because it's such a fun time with family and everything that once it's over, I don't get that relief a lot of. of people seem to express. I'm always like, oh, this is, this bums me. When I have to leave my grandparents' house every Christmas, like, I know it's a sad thing, but it's like they're in their 80s. And so I'm always, as I'm leaving the driveway, thinking like, is this the last time I'll be doing this? And I try to like really savor and think about that throughout the time I

have with them. Because it's, it's going to be, it's like you can, you can see it on the horizon. You know it's an inevitability. You know that's how life works. But I won't be able to not be devastated. It's going to be horrible. Very sad. Well, that's not in the spirit of the season. We need something fun.

We need something light. Has Trump done anything, not horrible? Anything fun? Other than that, you know, eight-year-old joke? He bombed Nigeria today. Well, that's... Bomb the fuck out of them, Taylor. I was looking for something, Chris.

he bombed Nigeria that's the ISIS attack or something yes yes they're killing Christians I wish I believed him like maybe it's true maybe it's true maybe he's like look these guys are murdering another group of people and and we need to protect that group of people so out of the goodness in my heart I'm trying to do what's right and protect the vulnerable but does that sound like Trump it's usually ah Canada smuggling too much fentanyl into America so I'm going to fuck them up. And it's like, all of this is bullshit. What is your actual motivation?

My best guess is that some of his, like, the people that are in his ear have ties to the Christian right over here. And there probably is some Nigerians murdering Christians. I bet like Google. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't think what he's saying? That part's not happening. He's saying that he's not, he's pretending

not. Oh, why he's doing it? Or he's pretending to have stopped it. Oh, I mean, it just happened. Like, what he did was he struck ISIS targets in Nigeria that had been supposedly massacring Christians. I don't know if they have been or not. I just, I haven't looked into it at all. But my, I bet they are.

It seems right up their alley, you know. They crucified people. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he's trying to do a good thing and protect a group of vulnerable people. That just doesn't seem to be very Trumpy. Oh, his motivations are. are what you... That there's a special interest group

that there's someone behind closed doors. There's some corporation that has oil under there, that he doesn't like the leader of that place and he's trying to weaken them by creating some sort of division. No, the leader gave them the okay.

And so it's not that one. But the idea that Trump is acting on some... Their leader wears a silly hat. Thing is uncommon. It's not a silly hat. It's kind of a fun hat. have you seen it yes it's kind of a fun hat is you say it's not a fun hair star wars it looks like like we need a picture Nigerian leader yeah yeah look at the night it's like a you don't like

band the hat thing you don't think it's kind of fun it's like a headband combined with like a loose like burlap sack that you would put coin in and in old times oh I'm picturing a much better hat I must not have seen he has a few different hats can you just do a Google image search for Nigerian leader and then we'll get I can see the hat that Kyle's talking about and I think it's silly that's the one he was wearing a even sillier version of this when I saw it's kind of that's kind of fun you know show us the the group just Google image search Nigerian leader and you'll see what Sam Jackson's going to look like in 10 years that one I like more that one doesn't have the the floppy middle and I'm good with both both of those hats are great they're it's like their cultural thing

they're embracing it like that's a good thing what's wrong with these hats did he used to have a tooth in the middle no no it's clearly that that's I got no problem with this hat it's that that that doofy hat he was wearing before the one that's got like a headband combined with a big loose fitting poofy thing on top

none of this matters I'm just yeah I think it's a stupid fucking hat so all I said was their leader wears a stupid hat and it's disagree I like it you wear that hat no because I'm not like eight yards of fabric. I'm not Nigerian, so I wouldn't wear that hat. It's not for me.

Looks neat. It's a fun little cultural thing they enjoy. Let them have fun with hats. I don't fucking know. It doesn't keep the sun out of your eyes. What's the point of it? Because he's trying to look swag, dude. It's just decorative?

Yes. Yeah, many hats are. I like a hat that's functional. There's not too many. You think you should have a fucking Braves logo emblazoned on his forehead instead. When I look at a cowboy hat, I see a lot of function and a lot of like a design, you know, that thing's made made to stay on in the wind. It's got, it's got the dip in the hot. Yeah, but if you're an actual cowboy, you would never go on the campaign with a cowboy

hat. Only pretend cowboys wear cowboy hats on the campaign like Vivek Ramoswamy. He'll wear a cowboy hat on the campaign because he's pretend. I saw that he replaced his fleet of Cadillacs with BMWs and someone was like that's the most Indian thing I can imagine someone do. Have you seen the photo of him giving an interview to like Newsweek and he doesn't have shoes on? You seen that? That's your issue.

He doesn't have shoes on. I don't care if my politician eats the rights with their bare hands and he's barefoot with his legs crossed below him being like now allow me to tell you what it is to be American. He doesn't sound much bad at all. That is exactly. what it sounds like he's born in america no it sounds like this to me yeah i'm not a fan of that guy

one yeah he was so fun to watch him get roasted needed from the political realm forever i hope this loss just sends him back to whatever else he does what did he's something else for pretending to be a christian well not really like he was at that event at a christian college or something and they were like given him hell like not from a mean place but from a theological standpoint like they're like how do you how do you rectify this you know in the eyes of god and it's like I did not like this question please stop questioning my wife he kept like making references to god that would allow you to infer that he was Christian and they kind of roasted him for it they're like you say God but you mean gods because you got this this and that and you aren't you

is he Hindu or Buddhist is Hindu and he just kind of like I said he said a dozen things that would make you infer that he was Christian and the same as the people he was talking to which was a little dishonest how can even like the conservative how can you can serve anything you came here to take you're the opposite of a conservative you're a taker did they say that Yeah. He was born here. I actually, no, no, we've talked about his history a bit, but I'll, you know, as a reminder. I have it wrong.

His history is scamming people via a large medical company with Alzheimer's drugs. But Kyle said you came here to take as if he wasn't born here. That's the part I was pushing back on. Oh, well, then, I mean, he is taking and he clearly doesn't seem to give a fuck. He was born here to take. I don't care if he's born here or not. If he's not representing America's best interest, then he can get lost by me.

But he was one of those guys who he bought a failing, failed every drug test Alzheimer's company. He had his mom run a study on it and say, actually it works. And then he basically pump and dumped a giant Alzheimer's stock, taking advantage of people's like hope for a way to get rid of a horrible disease. And that's how he has his money. is an Indian guy

scammed to make his money that's what he did right dude do you know the EU had to make a new category when they have like those maps you know those maps the EU makes where it's like

these are the countries you need to be wary of if you're going to go to Iraq on vacation take these precautions if you're going to go to South Africa take these precautions they had another one of those maps that was showing the like

per capita rate of fraud like international fraud coming from different countries they had to make a new category for India because that's like literally a huge part of their GDP is ripping off Americans

so this relationship we have with India needs to be needs to be solved because they're ripping off our boomers in a way that's insane it's fucked up it's our own fault you're not shutting that shit down

they're a weaker country than us get under the thumb our boomers not figuring out those scams is kind of on them, if I'm being honest, like it's, you know, I don't get how people can be can fall for that stuff, you know, like some of it's so wacky and ridiculous and I, and I, I don't know people in my family, but I've known of people who got, got taken for a ride with that, with that nonsense. My dad had, it was like a friend of a friend and they, and they were, they were

making fun of him because this guy believed he had a girlfriend online who was an army sergeant stationed in like Kuwait or something like that and she needed money to come see him and it was this whole thing he's like yeah check out my girl like he was like showing people these pictures of this fake lady that's his girlfriend and this is like an old ugly man is like look at look at my 34 year old like girlfriend and the army and like he's just bought in she's just milking it. This makes me snap. Yeah. You say like it's on them for falling for it, but

it's really not. I still hold the scammers responsible. And this is what informs my experience. We watched my mother-in-law in her final year. She had cancer and we took her to the hospital all the time and stuff and set her up here where she needed extra care. And when we first started having her in, she was as mentally good as she was 30, 40 years ago. But at some point that fell

down and people would send her bills and she would think she had to pay it but these were not for anything she ever bought or services she ever received and we're like this this is junk mail meant to look like you owe them this is you just throw this one away and she couldn't identify like what was junk mail she'd get even just like requests for charity and she thought she owed them like oh shit I better write a check no no no no that is just someone trying to take your money trying to part you with your money in your final months. And I don't hold her responsible for

falling for it. I don't hold any of the boomers responsible for following. I don't hold any old people with dementia responsible for their actions. I certainly don't mean that. But if you're 65, 75, and like you're literally...

She was 35, but carry on. And you know, you went through... Again, not the people would be. dementia. He's got a cheat code over there. Like, of course, she's not going to know her mail right anymore. But, like, you send my dad a bill. He's like, kiss my ass. I don't know who you are. Like, he's staring at it up. For now, someday he's going to need your protection. And again, if he develops dementia, that's a different story. But he's not going to, that's a different thing. I'm already halfway there. I'm like, Taylor, is this AI or not? So I can relate to people who fall for shit.

Yeah, that's why you can't really blame the boomer. They grew up in a world where this was not something that had to be anticipated as a threat. And so they have no defenses for it. Like there was no one calling Americans in 1985 being like, that is a problem with your Amazon economy. There was no one like that. And so they don't have the requisite defense mechanisms. We got to stand up for the boomers.

We got to help them in the way that they have. Even my wife will be like, yeah, I got a text about this. I'm like, that one, no. No. When the URL is like garbage.com slash Amazon, that's not a real one. I'll see that. I'll get those texts where it's like, this is Chase Bank and you have lost all your money. And it's like, well, I don't use Chase. So I don't think, I don't think this is. I had one demanding delinquent taxes that came in mail form for years. And my dad and my dad was only like half. believing me that I didn't know all this money like every night he'd be like how you they're never

going to stop you got to pay these people I'm like dad if I owe them 26,000 I'd give them 26,000 I don't own property in that county I own property in this county it's this how could I possibly owe taxes on when I don't own property in that county I'm like all right I believe you and then like another one would come like the next year and be like Kyle they're still coming they I mean business. It's like let it keep in because they keep their interest is accruing and penalties are stacking on their fake

like tax bill to me and it's got like the state of Georgia and everything on top. But down to the bottom of the fine print, it ain't a government number. And you Google that number and you get all, just links of all the people talking about how this is a scam. They're going to ask you, they're going to tell you got delinquent taxes. And like if they had picked the right

county, I might have been like, huh. I really, at first when I got it, I was huh I mean maybe somebody put something in my name I mean I still would want to protect it like well I got to look into this like at first but then it's like no this is bullshit this is no bullshit and I was never close to stroking him a fucking check like we're going to have to talk about this like I think I talked about it on the show someone came after me not too long ago for like basically they said I received services and I didn't deliver on my half and I was like what is this I thought it might be PKK related

because I don't make the deals for PQA and I like I could be confused. And then I found out the payment was in the form of four new tires and I'm like, get the fuck out of here. I don't receive payment in rubber. Like what are you talking about? And they're like, well, we have your SOC. I'm like, Google my fucking name.

You'll find my SOC. I'm so dumb. And they're like, well, we have your email too. And it wasn't. I'm like, that's not my email. You don't know shit. Like give me your supervisor. I went two supervisors up

and they're like, well, all right, consider this clothes unless you hear from us again. I'm like, yeah, I don't want to hear from you again. This is the supervisor, Adam, Adamson. I'll tell you what, Mr. Woodworth. We'll let you keep the tires for now. Does he think you want? Like, that would upset me.

I have to call him back. Yeah, I think someone. I think it was identity theft. I think someone used my identity, it makes some sort of business deal that the receipt payment in the form of fucking tires hilarious yeah i mean tires ain't cheap we could be swayed by uh by three sets tires around here i suppose you know i could see it all right all right i need i need high speed tires in that thing they're not cheap

we're not putting coopers on there all right like like stuff right tires be out of hand yeah i put Cooper's on there. Fuck it. What am I? Mario Indready or something like that? I was, Taylor's car broke down on him the other day. His fuel pump went out.

What's happening is he's, the fuel sensor is like this float that follows the level of the gasoline and they go bad. He's already had it replaced once, but what ends up happening is it tells you you have a quarter of a tank because the float is stuck in this position

instead of following the fuel level down. and you run out of gas on the side of the road. So you ran out of gas on the side of the road. And I'm immediately shopping for cars for him. I'm like, yeah, that was trash now. What do you want to look at is this, that, and the other? Like, it almost made me want to buy a car. Every time I think about buying a car,

I look at how many miles I've driven this year. And it's like, it would sit in the driveway. Like 99% of the time. I just don't drive. I get everything delivered. And when we go out. I'm sorry, I interrupted. Do you know what I'm worse?

Do you need to charge your car's battery before you drive it? Yeah. Yes, I do. I'm with you. Yeah. Okay. Because like if we go out to dinner or something like that, like we'll just hop in her car. It's like like mine's a two seat car and hers is like an SUV thing and it's brand new.

So it's like get into that thing. And then it's just like five miles to a restaurant or movies and five miles back anyway. Like I don't drive. And so every time I look at. it like, I was telling them, if I were going to buy a car, I would get a used Tesla plaid like 2022. It's the fastest production car in the world still. It's zero to 60 in 1.99 seconds.

And it cost $53,000 for a nice one with like 20,000 miles. And what is 20,000 miles to an electric vehicle? You know, it's not like there's, the drive train isn't like a, is it measured in miles or years when you have a battery operated thing? I don't even know. But I do know that, like, that to me is the best deal that in the used car world is getting all of that car for $53,000, which is, you know, that's a chunk of change. But still, in the, when you're looking at new cars on the level of that plaid, nothing does what it does. But, you know, nothing goes zero to 60 in 1.99 seconds.

That's almost dangerously fast. That's faster than a motorcycle, which also feels dangerously fast. Yeah. It's a big Ford or a sedan. The Rimack Navarra can go zero to 60 in. That is a hypercar, I bet. 1.74 seconds. Show us a picture of that.

I bet it looks like an F1 car and the guy driving it has a helmet on. The Rimack Navarra. I do want to see a picture. I don't want to spoil it. I want to see it with everyone else. I'm going to make a guess. I'm going to make a guess.

It looks like a glorified go-kart. Like it's like an atom or something. Like, it's almost a roll cage with an engine. Oh, no, I'm wrong. Oh, that's just a, that's just a... Kind of looks Corvetti to me. It's just a supercar, I think. Is this electric?

Let me look. Remack Navarra. An all-electric sports car, yes. Okay, there you go. Yeah, that's incredible. 1.74 seconds. Are you serious? That's too much.

That's incredible. I would love to just go zero to 60 once, you know? Just get that out of my system. I bet it's zero to a hundred time It's like, you know Not much more 2.9 second, 3.1 second. Something crazy. How many G is there

How many G forces are you pulling when you go 0 to 60 and 1.77? Let's see. Like you're going to be glued to that thing. I bet you're pulling three or four Gs or something like that. That's so crazy. It's crazy.

It looks... It can get that much traction. It's all wheel drive, I bet. I could imagine, yeah. It says when you're going to zero to 60, Kyle, the car pulls a peak longitudinal g-force of around 1.5G. Okay. I was expecting higher. That's still a tremendous amount because you're not, because it's longitudinal.

So it's plus 1.5 because you weren't getting any prior. That's, I didn't know that car existed. I didn't either. But you can't get one for $53,000, though. Let's see what a RIMAC RIMAC RIMA Koss. Oh, you were right

Kyle. 2.2 to 2.5 Mel. Yeah. 2.2 I could see, but 2.5. I'm out. 2.5? What, do you think I'm a fool? Yeah, I don't like that. That's too much. Are you guys also,

you guys are more car guys than me, but like I'm kind of annoyed. at how much faster electric cars are no really because it's cool like combustion engines are cool they're so loud like you i have a better understanding of what's going on like it's neat the electric car isn't as fun sound like if i were a car guy throttle is i don't think i've driven an electric car but i've been a passenger and i've driven electric motorcycles and there's just no spool up to the power like you ask for it it I forget who I was talking to but someone was like they had a passenger in the car like their dad or something and they're like hey the

responsiveness of the throttle is amazing you hit the gas and it goes and the guy's like how's that different I hit the gas in my other car goes try it like oh oh oh I didn't I didn't know I was delayed all this time now I know what instant feels like and the same happens on a motorcycle too it's just right there right away it seems cool because like like i'll watch top gear and i'll see them driving some Lamborghini or ferrari and they'll be talking about oh and it has two superchargers or two turbochargers and you can hear when they have the footage of them in the cabin of those things spooling up like like they start whining and then they kick in and the whole thing explodes but the electric cars is just it's just instant and they're

There's no noise, and you have every bit of power you want the second you put your foot down. It's almost sad. Yeah. And actually, it would fit my current lifestyle really well. Like, if I'm going to, I don't know, get the description at CVS. The range is really diminished to be tow, though. Like, if you were thinking of living like an F-150 lightning, I think when you tow, it's like you'd have a problem getting to some of your trips for sure. F-150 lightning is one of the reasons the F-150 lightning failed is they,

pulled the rebates away from the electric vehicles and I'm like here's an auto company that built a product on the idea that like the government would do this thing and then they change the rules and the product failed and that in my head made me think of the current tariff structure which changes every couple of weeks like imagine you're going to set up a new muffler company in America thinking that you're protected by tariffs and then they just go up or down based on a president's mood? Well, Woody, here's the thing you haven't thought, is that traditionally people think tariffs should be static and allow other countries to operate within the newly established

parameters. But actually, economics says it should be at the whim of whoever wants to change it. Oh, what if that person had developing dementia? Would that help? It could. what if you can't remember molesting the children what if he can't remember maybe that's why the tariffs are going up

he's like another 5,000 percent to China and he's like that makes 30,000 percent because we just keep adding yeah I don't know the incompetency of whoever was censoring the Epstein files using the like Microsoft Word like bar or whatever they did so that now You just copy, paste the deleted portions, and they paste unredacted.

And it's like, how are we this incompetent at the absolute highest level of our federal government? Oh, I didn't even take that as incompetence. I almost saw that as like someone knowing they could get away with that. You don't think they trusted the guy. They had apply the actual black mark. Clearly not. That's your main hint. Taylor, I had that thought too.

I don't have any confidence in it, but I was like, is this a guy who was like, oh, you want me on the redacting? You chose the wrong mother trucker for that. Yeah, and I agree. I have no evidence. Was I supposed to use black highlighted or did I use yellow this whole time? You think malice is more likely than incompetence? I consider it might be rarely, but it is a possibility that someone knew it wouldn't be checked and was like fire this through. Because if you have any sort of tech know-how at all.

you know that's how blacking out words works I mean I don't know how redact a fucking file I don't know where I begin if you put a layer I would begin by hiring the guy who blacked out a fucking file before I might start by making them print all the shit out and use a Sharpie and then scan that shit make sure it's blacked out I don't know how to redact things but maybe they do highlight it in black

and then like export it as an image where you can't do that anymore and they'd instead of exporting the image that gave the file over. Yeah, that would be exactly what I would guess. If it was someone in fact who wasn't inept and someone trying to, you know, release a little more, which it didn't even seem, because I read all those,

because I saw someone be like, all these 119 pages are of redacted shit is available now. And then I was like controlling, effing different words in that document to try and find interesting stuff. And it wasn't that interesting. You have to put a space in with Trump because they made it so you couldn't search Trump

if you control F, but if you search Control F Trump space, they didn't account for that because, again, incompetence. I would Control F. Trump not pull up on word. They, I don't know why, but I heard this story too. Yeah, apparently, and it was like reliable

in sources, yeah. Yeah, fact checked us and see. What was that one, there was that one piece of text or something that was like the testimony of a girl that claimed that like Trump was there when her uncle drowned her like prostitution baby in the in the river or the lake or something like that. I'm light on details. I heard about that.

Something about being kept in like stalls like animals for Jeffrey Epstein and his friends. CNN talks about the Epstein files. They go out of their way to say that Trump is in no way accused of like raping any of these kids. And that's not true. anymore. The Epstein files absolutely say he's a co-conspirator that he raped this kid, that he was present when another kid was killed or something. And I'm like, is he not going to stop saying that

every time that no one is accusing Trump? No, no, it's because he sued media organizations for saying he was a rapist and he's legally not. And so they, they had to play fucking ball. Well, there's other ways of saying that he's mentioned dozens of times and is accused by the by the plaintiffs or the accusers in the files of raping them while they were underage girls. That's just factual. Whether what they say is...

Yeah. He's accused. They tip to... They're so afraid of having their licenses pulled or a lawsuit or both that everybody is towing the line in a way I've never... I didn't believe possible that CNN could be

cowed by a Republican president or vice versa, that Fox News would have been cowed. They're not saying it because they can't legally accuse that. That's what we just said. But they can talk about what's in there. Yeah, no, what they're saying, to accurately quote them, would be like, to be clear, President Trump is not accused of raping any of these children. And I want to be like, no, he absolutely is. The Epstein files accuse him of doing that.

People say he did that to me. Other people say he did that to her, and I saw him do that to her. he's accused but they say he's not and I'm like you guys are just scared you're scared to report the news yeah they failed at their

the main part of their job you know that it's it's it's wild to see I didn't think it was possible I thought there was too much integrity at the root at least of like journalism. Are you serious? Yeah absolutely you thought journalists had integrity

I thought that at their core they did I thought that someone there even if it was you know the the editor or someone. Maybe it's not the talking heads on TV because the term journalism is pretty broad. But I thought that like the core news man

at CNN like believed in something. You thought that like Jake Tapper for the past 10 years was like beating the pavement looking for stories. I just said I didn't. No, I just said I didn't. Like I, he falls into a talking head. You have to be retarded. I think that's what these people's job is.

Although I think there is a newsman that exists you know who says who tries to call balls and strikes and does it to the best of his ability and tries to squash any bias he might have and now it seems like that newsman doesn't exist that there are opinion people and there are cowards but there are no guys speaking truth to power there are not well and the ones who actually speak truth to power get destroyed like edward snowdon and shit like they they have their lives by revealing the crimes of our politicians like well that his crime was revealing stuff we weren't supposed to know yeah he agreed not to reveal those things he committed a crime look i i'm glad edwards said that leaked all this

documents but you can't argue that he didn't commit a lot of but that's what actual like that's what actual journalism is is leaking things that are truly threatening to the powers that was he a journalist wasn't he was no he was an intelligence agent who became a faux journalist by releasing all of that and now he's like hiding out some fucking Ecuadorian I see what Taylor's saying like drawing a parallel between like what Woodburd and Bernstein did

and what Snowden did like I see the parallel but if you do journalism if you do journalism you are a journalist like it's not something if someone who isn't a journalist reports on something that's happening that doesn't make it any less journalism right

like what he did was maybe the biggest instance of journalism as far as speaking truth to power in the past 20 years. Whenever I was sick, my mom would come in there with a thermometer, a little coal pack. She wasn't a doctor, not even a nurse. You know, she was just helping me out a little bit. You want people to have a degree in journalism? Does it make you a, there's a degree for it. I went to one of the biggest J schools in the country, and I knew tons of J-school majors.

I'm not a journalist. No, you're not. But I knew lots of them. That we agree on. they were some of the dumbest retards. Some of the dumbest retards. Okay, deep throat. Sure, sure. Taylor, that's how I always felt about school teachers.

And I know this isn't popular, but I swear to God, I'd be like busting my ass in macroeconomics or something. And these people are walking to their college courses with assignments that look like, I don't know, using tissue paper to make turkeys or something. My last bit of respect for teachers went out the door when I hooked up with one. Don't say that. I don't want to be either, but I hooked up with one on a Sunday night like eight years ago. We were like getting fucked up and fooling around and everything.

And she's like, I got fucking work in the morning. I'm like, what do you do? She's like second grade teacher. And I was like, oh, my God, I was right when I was that age being like, this is a dumb bitch. I'm smarter than you. Just their classes seemed a lot easier than mine. That's all. She didn't do that hungover.

But I mean, that just means she's not in it to win it, right? In it to win it? Were you in it to win it at the rental car place? Were you like, oh man, I can't drink tonight. No, no, I was not in it to win it at the rental car place. I knew I wasn't in it to win it when I went out to my co-workers trunk to buy weed from him at the airport in the middle of the day. in Idaho in like 2014 and as I was like walking

my weed back to my car I'm like I'm committing enough crimes to put me in jail for 30 years right now I'm buying drugs from my my coworker my one black coworker I was looking around for places to get weed and my one black coworker was like

Taylor I know this is crazy stereotypical but I have Cush and I was like John you fucking ruled dude thank you my favorite one of my favorite Kyle encounters. The guy wasn't black, but he had long hair. And he talked like, yeah, man. Like he was just, hippie mustache. Kyle knows where this is going. And we're in another state that we just flew to. And Kyle's like, don't take this the wrong way. But you look like you know where to get weed.

He's like, yeah. Kyle's making it happen. Sure enough. Yeah, we got some white rhino. This will have you high stepping into Applebee's. That's what it was. It was white rhino. got some white rhino and i'm like i don't care what you call it as long as it gets a man so high he he doesn't know where he is briefly and he's like got you there and sure enough that shit was some of the most potent weed i'd ever had in my life it probably was it was christily i don't think i've ever been that high in my life and i was regularly smoking um it was i mean we we pulled into a person's yard to just do a flip a u-turn and head back to the restaurant because like we were just heading to applebees and we took the wrong turn and i genuinely thought i'd been kidnapped

and was being taken somewhere, and I'd already skipped the head to the part where y'all were going to try to get me in the basement, and I was thinking about, like, what to do about it, like, freaked out. Like, I thought I was being kidnapped for real. Like, I was like, I'm going up. I'm going to fuck them up. I'm thinking, like, I'm not going in that house.

They won't get me in that house. Like, and then I think I said something like, where are we? Like, waging loud. It was like, calm down, and then white boys just back there rolling the fattest joints. Dude, I went after another. I was just thinking of that story.

Like, White boy's not my friend, but I don't think he'd mind me telling the story. They're driving in a van, 50 miles an hour, every window down. And he's rolling like commercial quality joints in the windiest environment ever

without losing a single bud or whatever you call it. I'm sitting right next to him. I got a front row seat. He's got a copy of Modern Work there too. Yeah, yeah, the three of us. I think maybe they're side by side, and I'm the seat right in front of them.

him and I'm hanging over the seat maybe and he's just fucking putting these artisanal jays together and not spilling a nug and and he's handing him to me i don't know if he's lighting him up or i am but i'm getting like a lot of extra because i'm like getting them fired up and going to hit to head to like send them up the bus i don't want him to go out and i got so fucking high having to start multiple jays you are going to get way too high like i'm i remember being like and like every jay and then like as soon as i like catch my breath from the wheezing here comes another at least we had kitty there to nab he wasn't in that bus

no apple's got in that one oh yeah she was the her and her and woody were so so they were able to wrangle us yeah we were fucked up that was a good time that was fun yeah it was high as hell at that applebees i eat so many potato skins a joint. Is it joint the one that looks like a bad cigarette? Yeah. It's like white paper. Yeah. What's a blunt? Blunt is you use a cigarillo wrap.

So you buy some backwoods or something and then you split it. It's like a small flavored cigar. So the wrappers of also tobacco, it's just long leaf tobacco that's been sort of woven into a tube. And it'll often be soaked in like a grape or strawberry or vanilla kind of flavoring.

But it adds a nicotine. punch and a little bit of harshness but the main thing is the surface area because they're so wide joints can be like pencil joints these little bitty things that you have to like like you're smooching with the thing to get any actual

like smoke because it's like a straw that's too like a coffee yeah it can if they're poorly made they're exactly like that but with a blunt blunt you've got this big a blind a bloint and you can you get a lot every time you puff on a blunt and you're

in that nicotine punch fucking X-Shaw smoked me out in Vegas in my in my room and I collapsed to the floor when I stepped out of the bathroom like not in like a funny joky who I can't keep my balance way more like a I know I hit the floor hard with my face just now but I can't feel pain at the moment kind of way and I just laid there while they looked at me and I'm like I'm good don't touch me leave me here and I just laid on the fucking tile I liked a long time I identified early. I liked your ability that when you were too fucked up, you would just self-isolate

and be like, this needs to be handled. Because when we did that beer shotgunning thing in the hotel room, you like, like, sucked it down. And immediately you were like, huge amount of that went down the wrong pipe. I'm going to have to vomit in a second.

And like just, just like very, very controlled. I'd be good in the military. I'm going to have to throw. And then you're like, all right I'm fine I'm fine that's because I knew

that it was coming and it was unavoidable and everybody's going to see it anyway but if I prepare them for it they'll at least understand I inhaled like so much beer and when I say inhaled

I don't mean in that joke he inhaled that pasta I mean I sucked it down my windpipe into my lungs and my body was convulsing like boom to like get it out

and I had just enough where it's the same way when I have a panic attack and I'm going unconscious that was at paintball right that that yeah yeah I had video of you throwing up I don't know I was like video in the whole thing and I had this I was like dude uploading this is like five grand this needs to not exist and I deleted it right on the spot honorable good guy Woody I taped him choking white boy unconscious I saved it forever still got it somewhere this is my favorite

my favorite thing about like those early days when we'd all travel around together and be at like an event in L.A. and then one in Boston, then one in Seattle or whatever, was that Woody took all comers when it came to Jiu-Jitsu. And UFC was kind of, obviously it wasn't as big as it is now, but it was like really an energetic space. So the people who were into it were wearing tap-out shirts and taking jiu-jitsu lessons online and shit.

And so everybody wanted to try their hand at the great Woody, the guy who's like late 30s or early 40s. your age at the time. Yeah. And almost the vast majority of them are 18 to 23 or something like that. So they're happy to like wrestle with the old man. And he never even came close to losing one of his like nerdy gamer bouts. Woody took all comers and all left found wanting. Yeah. I was one of the first. Legs kicking. Woody will put you in a guillotine and he'll there's no like hold you right here and bounce your weight a little he's cranking that bitch he's barking his back like he's trying to win states like he's that's how I

he's got you in my gym if you weren't mean it was almost disrespectful like oh you're not giving me your A game like taking it easy on me yeah like I'm not your child this isn't a tickle fight you know you bring it and that that's all I ever did I tried to bring it to Woody in that hotel. Taylor did really well. No, I went for a single leg on Taylor and he was so much stronger than me. He like muscled me on the top of, it wasn't north-south because my head was, like his chest was to my bag.

Yeah. And I was stuck there for longer than I wanted to be before I finally found the way out. Yeah, I was literally like, I don't know enough about, like, I got you grabbed. And I was like, all right. Now, what even is the path to angry? Yeah, I'm like, all right, I'm safe. But I am being held by a gorilla right now. I need a plan.

Yeah, I did, I fared better against you in the front yard of the Marriott. Yes, absolutely. I remember the elevator door swinging open, and I think it was bash, came out of them, and y'all like immediately sprawled. It was like immediate, like you got, and you guys had a wrestling match on the carpet next to the double elevators, and you had him, like, submitted by the time the elevator got to us. Bash is really athletic, but Taylor is much stronger.

Bash would have won head up in basketball. Yeah. Well, that's a given. Bash was fun. I wonder what happened to him. Yeah, he's always, he's a good mood pretty much every time I've ever spoken to him. He was so friendly, always, always a light, a good social guy to have around. Yeah, that was fun.

It's nice to have one in the group for sure. just to keep it yeah like a neo-nazzi meeting every time we'd go to a fucking PJ Changs or whatever it looked bad yeah it was nice to have I don't remember a single person

ever talking politics at one of the meetups no I think he was suggesting everybody was white oh because they were white yeah oh wait wait X-Jaws I mean he's white but he's Jewish he's Jewish yeah yeah that that breaks the Nazi thing that's true yeah I love X Joe I was like like he completely embraced his Jew his Jewiness and like like he exuded it his dad like owned a chain of like

adult stores like like a really sleazy like that's so Jewish that's funny yeah and like and he was always like he had a friend whose name was Bernie who was like 17 a 17 year old Bernie and he looked like cousin Kyle from South Park. It was like, I didn't know X-Jolz was a Jew until he told me, you know, and his name is Jewish, but I didn't know. But his cousin, I was like, Jude, like as soon as he rounded the corner. And like, all the talk about. Sam had to be like, don't be mean.

Like, and then brought his cousin. No, because they were both. And look, they could have, they were both like super into finance. at the time. Like really specific niche investments. They were something about the fall of the Greek. Oh, I remember something about that. Something about the fall of the Greek

like economy or like they defaulted on their debt. They were trying to take advantage of that somehow. I remember like they had predicted it. Your Jewish friend was financially speculating on the fall of Greece. Literally yes. And they made a killing at it.

It was they were going to a X our money. Like like they had It was something like that. They had turned like 15 into like 90 or something like betting against Greece and getting it right. Because like Greece defaulted that year on their on their debts. Did X-Jaws, did he win or lose on that? I got distracted while you were talking. One.

They were like in the process of winning it when we were all in like a Vegas trip. And it was. I remember when X-Jaws told us about his father's like chain of porn stores. And I forget the name of it. But like, so I used to commute from Philadelphia at Drexel to Ocean City, New Jersey. Hey, Vita. And I would drive past this adult DVD store every day. And it's hard to drive past this place three times a week and not get a little curious.

Yeah. It's like blue and red neon. And the store is like flicks with triple Xs or something like that. And every day you're like, what's in that place? what's it. I wonder what's what's in that place? Was that really the question? Specifically what's in that. I bet there's a lot of dildos in there probably

is what I see. There were more delos than you could shake a dick at. And so I had to like stop in and check it out. I'm like, there's movies all over the place but the toys were really eye grabbing. And there was a more innocent version of me at the time. And when I found out X Jaws'

his father owned that chain of stuff, like oh yeah. Never heard of it. I don't know that story I've been to. Yeah, I think those did really well. And then, like, his next, one of X-Jaws had a lot of side hustles. One of them was they were going to do some sort of mobile blood van that would go to universities and buy plasma. And it was like, you're literally a blood-sucking Jew.

Like, don't do it, bro. Like, why are you, like, man, that's like that one time they had that video of a Jewish guy literally crawling out of the sewer. And you said, bro. like i don't want to say anything but you're kind of setting your people back a lot right now you're really going to thought about this yeah dude it's literally a dude when somebody goes hey man you see that video of those that jew crawling out of the sewer you go shut up you fucking anti semi there's no jews crawling out is that hey oh he's got the whole get up on too it was like an s and l bit

The Jew crawling out of the tunnels And then that like most stereotypical Wop cop of all time Is the funniest thing of it Where he's like there's like I you don't understand We're doing it's like I don't know what you're talking about You can't fucking just build tunnels What the what country do you think you're living in it?

You can't just go around tunnels around people's houses That's fucking absurd dude You can't do it You can't just do that. It's just the most wop. I don't think I've ever seen this. It's a,

oh, you haven't? Oh, that's great. Hold on. A Italian cop listening to a Jewish guy, be like, you should let us have tunnels. And he's like, what are you talking about?

You can have, I didn't see that one. I didn't see that one. Woody, but you've seen the Jewish guy popping out of the tunnel, right? Like you've seen that. I haven't.

I read all about the Jew tunnels. So when this happened, for some reason, I was in one of my manic phases. And I said, I got a, I got a, monetize this and I put it up for about an hour and everyone told me, dude, your channel's

are going to get demonetize and I said, yeah, you're probably right. But real quick, can I share my screen here? Yeah, of course. This is a little song I made. It's called Jews are living in the sewer. Here we go. Jews are living in the sewer. Jews are living in the sewer. Jews are living in the sewer. Why are they down there? I don't know. Some say they're just hiding from the cold. Winter in New York, man. Well, I heard that it's where they hide their gold. Hey, that's it. He's Semitic.

Well, maybe those tunnel Jews are searching for the secrets of the use. Jews are living in the sewer. Jews are living in the sewer. They've got tunnels underneath the floor. They're running around down there. From Castelli to Gold, Denver's jewelry store. I got a great deal on Amarote. New York cops, you just can't win.

Those kosher boys will sniff yard for skin The shoes are living in the sewer Jews are living in the sewer Jews are living in the sewer. Why are they down there? I don't know. So that's the last time I was ever inspired to make anything. That's hysterical. Holy shit.

Why are they down there? We don't know. We have no fucking idea. There's literally no good reason for it. if i were if i were running a fun underground club and people started pulling bloody mattresses out of my fun club i'd be like well the worst so like apparently it was an argument like all the young jews are like hey man we got to build this tunnel and all the old jews are like what are you fucking nuts no we don't and they're like no it's god's will to connect i guess there's

like two jewish buildings across the street from each other and they're like god has manifested we got to connect these fucking buildings and they just started tunneling it's the greatest it's like and all the old children are like they did connect them they managed to connect them under the street and then finally some some whistleblower some uh some high um come lately went to the cops it was like hey there's a yeah exactly hey there's a there's a there's a tunnel down there you it might not be stable we're worried the whole fucking streets got a collapse up and rock steady originally discovered the tunnel but they they went back to Shredder and he informed

the NYCU. Yeah. It's one of the great stories in New York. It feels like they should be made to pay for the repairs. I think they are making them do. Yeah, I think they are. I mean, I think they told them like, you guys got to patch this up. But you saw the video where like the cops come in and all the young Jews are like throwing chairs at the cops being like, this is our tunnel. You can't take our tunnel away.

The entitlement of these kids nowadays. I do love this. cops are just like you can't you just can't do it like they're almost apologetic they're like it's i mean there's like this tunnel that we've had on the show oh is it this tunnel is promised to me 5,000 years ago dude that's the most awesome excuse ever for like doing a war being like no this was mine from a time where writing was barely a thing yeah yeah this is my thing really and we're we kicked it back off in 1948

that's when we did it yeah I'm trying to find this Wapcom I mean it swung back and forth a lot of times through history you know I don't know

I don't know why we're going to disregard that part of the Bible and not any other that we choose that we choose the Bible

pick and choose our favorite parts well I think a lot of people would say God isn't a real estate agent I like the incest parts

there's so much incest in there and so much implied incest you go far back enough, what else are you going to do? There's not that many ladies. I mean, tell that to Lott's daughters, you know?

Those hussies. Yeah. Or his wife turned to salt for being a bitch. She, you know, she doubted the words of the angel and turned back. She shouldn't have done that. Nobody else was that. There's very clear to command. He said, just don't fucking look. It's like, what if I just take a little peek here?

And it's like, no, you don't get a two second look. Of course, the man knows the rules. Doesn't do it. I mean, his daughters then plied him with wine, got him, drunk and fucked him, I'm thinking that I guess Sodom and or Gomorrah were the last city slash cities in all of existence,

which is kind of weird thinking. You'd think they'd have heard of other cities before. I don't know if it's more that they were the last cities in existence. It's not that, but the daughters believed it so and thought that they were the last of all humankind

and that they would need to reproduce just as Adam and Eve and their children did. And so they plied their father lot with wine and strong drink and lay with him. Sodom and Gomorrah were pretty bad. Like, didn't the angels just have to show up?

And the whole city was like, we want to rape. Like outside the phone's door. What happened was the angels went to Lott. And Lott's like, I'm just a kindly old guy. Angels, you want to hang out here.

That's fine. And then the whole town comes and they go, I heard you got two fine pieces of ass in there. Lots's like, no, no, there's nobody in here. And they're like, well, you let us in. We want to fuck those angels. And it turned to do a whole thing.

I like to picture a lot in his house being like, I'll never let you be taken by this mob. And then he's like open mouth kissing his own daughter. He actually did, though. He lot goes to the mob clamoring outside his door for Angel Bussey. And he says on to them, take not these strangers. Take my daughters, if you must. he offers his daughters to the raping mom.

That's like old school, like fair trade, man. That's, yeah, that's how you did back back in the old world was something to behold. It was. I like to think that was a big, I like to think he heard the story of Abraham not having to kill Isaac once he bought in. And he was like, he was waiting for God to be running a rope a dope on him. He's like, God, just fuck away. He was waiting for it. Yeah.

Good for what they've been giving, Diane and Rachel, quite. the fucking out there God was notoriously tricky sometimes. God was in his cock of the mob would be now. I got to say I miss God's prank phase. Like that was definitely the best

when he was just out there running classic gags going hey dude gambling. I need you to go kill you kill your kid. Kill your fucking kid. And it's like okay I guess I will. Gosh you fucker. And you're like oh man, that's classic. God makes petty bets with Satan.

like in the Bible. Who's the guy who went, who like, so basically, Job. Okay, so this is the story of Job, and you'll often hear this one on Sunday, and it's meant to tell the simpletons and the pews that, hey, no matter how bad things are, that's just God testing you. So stay faithful, no matter what. The story of Job is this.

Job was the most righteous of all of God's children. Of all the humans on the earth, none worshipped God or were as godly, or were as good as Job. And so God had blessed him in response to this with just bountiful harvest. All of his goats were the strongest of goats. He had a ton of kids. He had essentially a fiefdom of his own. He was the head man of the community.

He's rich, wealthy, powerful, good looking, like he's been blessed by the Lord. And God's chat with Satan one day. And he's like, look at that. Look how much that guy loves me. That guy loves my, yeah. You can't even understand that kind of love. this is why I chose them over your kind. And the devil goes, yeah, yeah,

of course he kisses your ass. Because look well, look at all you've given him. Look at his goats. Look at the balls on that goat. And he says, if you were to take all that away, he would betray you immediately. He would, he wouldn't be your He'd curse your name. He'd curse God. And so in a torturously slow

procession, the Lord removes one after another of Job's blessings. His crops fail. There's famine. There's starvation. There's storms and fires. His family dies when the house collapses upon them. All of his animals die until Job is left, sitting Indian style naked,

covered in the soots in the ash of his dead family, lamenting and praising the Lord. So at this point, God said, I just kidding and gave him all his stuff back and fixed his life. Well, you can't give him new stuff, but he gave him a new... Didn't he kill some people, though? He didn't bring the people back, right? No, he didn't bring the people back.

But, like, at the end of the story, I believe God, like, let him have. It's got a shitty that you get killed to teach your dad a lesson. Why didn't I get to learn a lesson? They did. I feel like I should get that opportunity. So what about Lazarus? They had the bring back lore ready. Look, I never claimed to be the Bible expert, but the writers of the book did do a thing about coming back to life.

Yeah, but not with a God way. It's actually a big part of it. Not with a big wave of that. Jesus did. I don't remember God doing it too much. In any case, he let the family lay dead. The crops lay burned. I think he got a new start.

I see. So when it's God's kid, the rules are different. But when it's your kid, you can go fuck off. That seems to be the moral. Well, I mean, you know, I don't want to argue with the guy. He seems to know more than me, he, according to the book or whatever. But my point is, like, the story of Job is awful. Like, pretty negative.

He did all that awful. He tortured Job to prove a point to the devil. Which is weird. Point proven. It's like you, because why would you indulge the person that you know is going to lose your celestial conflict or whatever? Like, why even offer a deal? I've said time and time again, that the idea that God will always win and like, why would Satan rebel against a power that he didn't think he could overthrow? I think it's just the victor's writing the book again.

If the Bible is actually real, if that's a true story. Let's just pretend that for a moment. Is that in the Bible? I'm never clear on that, the rebellion of Lucifer, or is that like all extra stuff added later? I think that's in the Bible. I believe it's biblical. Yeah.

They talk about it. I thought it was revelation where he talked about the fall early on. And then he goes to the fall. 12 says how art thou fallen from heaven oh lucifer son of the morning but i think all that shit about okay wait wait in revelations war broke out in heaven michael and his angels fought against the dragon and the dragon was thrown down so and i think the dragon is supposed to be lucifer yeah supposed to be the devil yeah but it's like very vague you know they should nerd stuff it's one third of the heavenly host rebelled so one

third rebelled against two thirds um which seems like a losing battle if god is their boss and you know that. So I'm saying that if it's a true story, let's pretend that all of that really happened in some sort of like psychic cosmic realm of the stars, like, then God's not all powerful because he proves time and time again in the Bible that he's not all powerful. He didn't wave a magic wand and make Job's house stand are right. He didn't reverse time the way that like a time lord could in our science fiction or our lore.

He didn't Superman go around the earth super fat. God wasn't about to put the fucking time-turner paradox into that book. Either God is limited by his own lack of omnipotence or the writers of the Bible are limited by their own lack of creativity. It can't be both. I mean, it has to be one. So why would his omnipotence be limited? Because he clearly didn't have the power to wave a magic wand and make Job's house stand a right. and like his wife and children and all their goats come back to life and just be as

they were and be like and feel like they'd just taken a nap which is what they did in Avengers they did that just fine everybody was dead they'd been gone for like five six years fucking iron man okay not even close to a god snaps his fingers made all that shit go right back hawkeyes family comes back like nothing happened see now we're now we're in veto's realm of the heroes the the comic the marvel world yeah yeah it sounds to me like Power scaling, Iron Man is pretty neck and neck with the Lord God. Kind of has to smoke. He's wearing the gauntlet, the glove.

He's got the gauntlet, God's in trouble. I'm just saying. No, what, Iron Man isn't cool at all if he doesn't have his suit. Now, he had the infinity gauntlet on. Iron Man died for our sins is what I'm hearing. Yeah. Who's the Judas of that scenario? Who's the bad guy in the Marvel?

Loki let him astray maybe Loki maybe Peter Quill for being a fool because I there's a there's a book of Judas that was discovered in Egypt I think and it suggests that Judas that had spoken to Jesus and Jesus told him that he was to betray him to set up the restriction and everything people don't like to talk about that the Jesus was like hey Judas said you should betray me it'll be helpful people are like let's not talk about that part this whole thing is on it. I do want to be clear, though. The whole one third of heaven and none of that's in the fucking Bible. That's all like later Christian reinterpretation. I've never heard the

third ratio thing in. Well, Revelation says the dragon swung his tail and a third of the stars fell from the sky. And then later on, a bunch of storytelling Jews were sitting around just, you know, coming up with funny stories. And they're like, well, I meant like, that was a bunch of angels, the stars. actually and uh you know and then and no no i'm right then they invented hollywood so revelation 124 suggests that one third of the heavenly hosts were cast down with satan his tail swept down a third of the stars of heaven that doesn't say angels well that's they're the stars of it lucre's morning star a third of the stars of heaven is pretty hardcore that's i don't even think the word lucifer is in the bible it now maybe it is i think lucifer is like greek for morning

star or something like that i believe you're correct a lot of A lot of this stuff comes from like Paradise Lost, man, which is kind of... Or Dante's Inferno, even. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like that. Let's just make that part of our fucking religion. It's kind of crazy that that is just accepted. Yeah, it's from Lightbringer. Kind of, wow. All the stuff about Judas being nod on by Satan and Caste and Ice on the lowest level of hell.

Well, Dante seems almost like a bit of a douche. because he was writing like his own fanfic about how he was the OG self-insert character man like you can't even make 100% self-insert characters when one of the most fundamental pieces of literary canon

is just a dude being like hey remember that guy who fucked with me he's in hell he sucks and he's like whoa that's awesome man remember that guy he was gay and I don't like him have you seen the anime

Dante's Inferno yeah that's based on the video game right yes dude it is all right it's tremendous basically um dante is like a medieval knight badass and his girl gets like

rape murdered soul pulled down to heaven by some demon ghouls or some shit down he's like that hell hell and he's like fuck that I'll go to hell to get her and he's descending like as this medieval like night through each layer of hell like slaying

demons and being tortured and captured and like always after his like girl who's you know being kept and it's it's it's like it's really good it's on HBO I think I never played the game but the anime movie or whatever was I don't know it's I like

adult animation I like when there's tities blood and gore and like hardcore shit I don't want any like Japanese school girls getting tentacled but I want it to seem like an R rated like adult movie that's taking advantage of the freedom of the media animation

game I remember as a kid I rented a ninja scroll and like the very first 30 menace is like a ninja lady getting raped by a rock guy and the rock guy's like hey I raped the shit out of you ninja lady she goes uh sucks to be you my pussy juice is poisonous and he goes who nani and then his whole fucking body i remember going Japan is a powerful nation this is good this is good storytelling I liked uh I like spawn spawn super hardcore the exact way I like it that anime and And it's a little different thing, but did you see Scavengers Rain, the animated?

Yeah, I think I saw a couple episodes. I watched that whole thing. And by the end, I was sold on that whole universe. I was sad. It got canceled. It's on HBO, too, I think. And it's like an anime about, like, deep space, like miners whose ship explodes, and they end up stranded on this wacky world with just every animal is this weird amalgamation

that's so unnatural and has no like there's nothing like that on earth like every time you see another animal like it's like what is that what the fuck is that and it's i i dig that show a lot if you guys are into dante's inferno did you guys see the movie uh the house that jack built no i've never seen it it's a it's a horror movie who directed it house the jack built uh that was so fucked up that like oh i've seen this yeah yeah yeah they debuted at con and everybody walked out because they're like this guy's just killing the shit out of women this is fuck there's no story here i didn't even notice i thought it was a cool movie yeah laris von sure this was like a big problem uh i am going to spoil it though it's like the whole time he's

talking to this guy virgil being like well you know murdering is kind of like a form of art you know and virgil's going no not at all what do you mean you're just butchering and murdering women he's like yeah but if you really think about it on like a deeper level versus like absolutely Absolutely not. You're a bad person. And then at the end of the movie, I hate to spoil it. It turns out Virgil is the poet Virgil from Dante's Inferno. Wow. Well, you killed all these people.

Let's just go to hell. And then the back half of the movie is just him descending into hell and looking at all this cool shit in hell. And I'm like, this is the best movie ever. Half the movie is a guy murdering women. And the other half of the movie is a guy going to hell and being like, ah, hell kind of sucks. I'm going to watch it now. It's a good movie.

It's a great movie. I've seen the thumbnail time and time again. is that Matthew Modine or something is that the actor? The main guy Matt Dillon, Matt Dillon. But I've seen that like thing. He kills Uma Thurman. Okay. That's the first, that's the first

kill I think. I think it gets a taste for it. I don't like him in anything other than the Kill Bill movies. Is she I don't even like her in the Kill Bill movies. I don't even think she's good in those. I think she's fucking great. What else is she in? She's in the superhero movie. She's in the new Dexter like reboot. As soon as

saw her. I was just like, I'm out of here. She's been a bunch of stuff. I mean, she's in Pulp Fiction obviously. She was fine in that. Actually, when she's working with Tarantino, I'm perfectly fine with her. Like, all, like the killbills. And I loved her in Pulp Fiction if I'm being honestly. She's hot. She's

like quirky. She does that role just right. She's got nice feet, I guess. Uma Thurman went to my high school in Amherst, Massachusetts. And every year graduating class would be like, Dear Miss, Uma Thurman, will you come give a speech at our graduation? And she's like, fuck you, no, I'm not coming back

to fucking average message. Would you give a commencement speech if asked, Vito? At my eye, they're not asking me. I'm too much fucking trouble at them. Columbia University wants you to give a commencement speech. Yeah, man, I give a great one. I'd be like, you guys spent money on school? What are you stupid?

Yeah, why would you not? If I were invited, I would do it. It would be fun. Really? It's a big public speaking event. You better get your act together. It'd be fun, though. yeah I always like public speaking I never found it scary I found it excited I don't like I got them all right where I want them it's it's it's like I always had that out of it if anything I think that way where I'm like you all have to sit and fucking listen to me right now yeah I got you all right now like usually I just got my lunch table maybe they wouldn't like it you get in front of the whole class I don't think a commencement address is supposed to be like a punishment like gloating scenario you all yeah now you're gonna watch me

be prepared for this. Now who's in control. We invited you all. Guess what? Now you're going to watch me. I'm going to practice my Marge Simpson impression for 40 minutes. I'm not, I'm not sure about that, Homer. Well,

Lisa's kind of a faggot. But, you know, Barts also BART raped someone. Marge, he didn't rape someone. Homer, that's what the police reports say. Like that's, You know, doing that for 40 minutes in front of Brown University would be the funniest thing imaginable. Have you seen the movie Ella McKay that just came out that they're shamelessly trying to save using the Simpsons?

No. I did not. Oh, man. This is like the most shameless thing, the Simpsons. So James L. Brooks, producer of the Simpsons, but I don't think ever wrote a single episode. Now, let's be clear, he is like a legendary producer and writer. and director. I think he did when Harry met Sally. He did the TV show Taxi. So he used to know

how to make comedy. But now he made a new comedy called Ella McKay and it fucking sucks. That's about a lady in the Obama years and she becomes like mayor of a small city, but she wants it all. You know, this is in the theaters right now. Literally no one has seen it. And so the movie is like complete dog shit. It has like an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. And if you follow The Simpsons on Twitter. It keeps being like, Homer fucking loves Ella McKay. And Marge and Lisa went to go see it. And they made a whole video of

Marge and Lisa coming out of the theater talking about what a great fucking movie Ella McKay is. And they're like crying. They're like, it's so powerful and ambitious. And it's only because James L. Brooks is producer of the Simpson. She's like, listen, man, I got to sell this fucking movie. Can you get, and I think

Marge, what do you call it? Whatever the name. I forget the lady who does Marge's voice. She's in the movie for like two seconds. as like somebody's fucking mom. Yeah. So it's like, so yeah, they're just pimping out the Simpsons to promote this shitty romantic comedy. And it's the,

it's the most horrific, uh, terrible thing I've ever seen. Well, I mean, the pimping out the Simpsons is nothing new. Like they are, they have made far, they've made two seasons of trash for every one season of gold they've made at this point. Well, the Simpsons is now like a vehicle for just promoting shit Disney owns.

They keep putting up all. shorts on Disney plus and it's like uh the Simpsons meet Billy Elish you're like now why did the why do the Simpsons meet Billy Elish it's like well because Disney's putting out her new album so here's a fucking three minute short of Lisa telling Billy Elish what a great fucking musician she is it's like uh they're they're no longer dude it's just it's bad man they're just shilling for everything Disney owns it's so fucking weird and they do like they do too much because they used to be more tongue and cheek joky and because the writing team has been replaced by a bunch of millennial white women, mostly.

All of their jokes will be stuff where it's like, Homer, do you realize that Donald Trump is a fascist? And he's like, I don't know, Marge. I just want to get rid of the illegals. She's like, Homer, he's, he's killing people, Homer. He's a danger to our democracy. He killed Abu. He killed Abu said he wanted to be a partner. of our country and gomer murdered him like just nonsense just silly billy nonsense is what they're

doing over there now sad dude do you remember when they did that insane west wing story parody and it was like aOC and what's her name with the fucking hijab the the ladies the squad dancing around and singing about how much trump sucks for like a minute and a half it's embarrassing i i saw the clip of it and i turned it i remember seeing it and going oh i'm just glad that this is like some shitty fan animation because clearly the Simpsons is not this fucking shitty. I'm like, no, no, no, that is from the Simpsons. I'm like, no fucking

way. This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. It's embarrassing. Yeah, they really hook, line, and sinker went a little too far. Man, Hollywood just stopped hiring anybody actually funny for a period of like eight years. What are you watching now?

What are you watching? What am I watching for a TV? I'm watching adult swim watching ha ha you clowns you've been watching that I really like ha ha you clowns I think it's very funny I'm a big ha ha you clowns guy I'm a big

Kyle doesn't like it because the joke is that everything today has become so degenerate so over the line as a means of being funny that it is funny to watch an earnest

the mere act of being earnest and unironic is a radical comedic act onto itself. And isn't that crazy that that's where we are? Because that's because it does work. I'm laughing at it because it's so earnest. There is there is a weird poltergeist horror dynamic in the background that is being explored. Are you aware of that?

Yeah, where he's like, your mother wouldn't have moved that chair and then the chair moves or something and then they're like, well, they did. The original ones, originally, did these shorts on adult swim for those guys who you don't know it's basically and it's a rip-off of home improvement so it's basically tim allen and his three boys and the wife's dead but obviously they've changed the appearances slightly so they can get away with it it's uh this father and his three meathead sons and if you watch the shorts on adult swim like they're all hanging out in the pool like oh ho we're having a good time and then they go oh my god mom just tugged on my toes

he's like no he's like yeah mom tried to pull me underwater and the dad's just like flipping burger he's like wow her powers are getting stronger you're like what the fuck does that mean and then like just there's weird like subtle shit in the background that you're like there's like a weird fucking horror element underneath this I do like yeah her powers are getting stronger

it's very funny where it'll be a movie night and they're all sitting around with their all the sons are sitting around with their girlfriends watching a movie night and the dad comes in like hey you kids anyone need another soda I'll just hop over to the Quiky Mart and grab something

and they're like, Dad, you don't even understand. Just come watch it with us. Uh, sit down, Dad, come on. Dad, come on. You're doing a great bang up. Your mom would be so proud of how you're raising these boys. It was on YouTube, but now they have an actual series. You watch it on the HBO Max.

Yeah, I recognize it. I saw it on HBO and watched a little of it, and I immediately recognized the whole thing from YouTube. And I was like, I saw enough of this already. it's well made and it's funny and I like it I find it to be awkward I find it a injuring it's refreshing

mm-hmm I like smiling friends it's different I like smiling friends is done really well my hope is that it doesn't I think that when you got a show that works like a comedy show and it's fresh and it's new

you got to go we're doing four seasons and then we're out because otherwise you run into the Rick and Morty problem which is like, eh, I don't know, there's nothing else here to really talk about

and we hired a bunch of lady writers and now we got to let them write half the episodes and it just kind of falls apart, man. I think you got to do four seasons and get the fuck out of Dodge. You hire a bunch of girls

and suddenly Summer is a character that we're supposed to be interested in. Dude, the number of fucking Beth episodes and I got a little Beth and then there's another Beth and oh, it's just daddy issues.

And I'm like, I get it. Every one of these shows for summer, I don't know what it is. uh this happens a lot like a bunch of guys start a show the show's great and then they you know they convince me to hire some women and also the men start falling apart okay so like with rick and morty fucking just roland also obviously fell apart so they're just like ah just fucking let the women run the show same thing happened with that uh adventure time it was just made by a guy and the guy was like

ah this is a great show but i have horrifying crippling depression so i'm leaving and women get to run it And the women are like, oh, good. We'll make all the stories about the fucking princess and the other princess. And they're like, no, it's about a kid and his dog. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah. They're doing the only thing they know. They were hired for like weird progressive politics.

And that's what they're going to insert into the show. They can't help themselves. Did you guys watch Bojack Horseman, which I loved? I didn't get into that one. It made me sad because I felt bad for Will Arnette. in what way i'm sure he's doing all right he's he's lego batman oh no i meant his character where i was like oh well yeah that is that he doesn't have any even latent fame that he wants to cling to so i didn't like that again it was another show that starts off and it's about

a male protagonist having male protagonist problems and you get to the third episode and it's about his daughter and some fucking lady and uh also the what's the what's the from breaking bed. Aaron Paul's character all of a sudden has to discover his asexuality across eight episodes. And I'm like, for the love of fucking God, man. I thought this was about a horse who did cocaine and his life fell apart. Like, I was having a good time. The first season started out fun. And then on that note, I have, I don't watch the Stranger Things show. I saw season one a fucking decade ago and didn't ever re-up and check it out. Apparently, like the Stranger Things finale is getting a crazy amount of shit online because apparently they spent like eight on screen minutes of the finale of one of their characters coming out as gay and then all the other characters being like I stand with you brother like holding him and it's like yeah this is more of a midseason thing not really a end of the series thing

And so he's getting a lot of hate, which kind of shows like a cultural shift. Like, people are ripping on him coming out as gay. Five years ago, that would have been like, wow. I mean, it's been known he was gay for a long time. I think they don't like how he came out as gay. Is the actor gay or the character gay? The character's gay. I don't think the character.

All right, which character? Is it Will? One of the boys. I don't know him. Skinny guy. Byers comes out on Stranger Things. Is it awkward or empowering? some website USA Today will powers okay the penultimate episode will buyers tells family and

friends he's gay aren't they like fighting like a like an ancient evil that's going to destroy the whole fucking earth he goes hey by the way I just thought I'd mentioned I'm into dicks they're pretty cool like maybe we can talk about that later we don't got to talk about there right now it really matters what holes I want to pound right now as we're trying to save the world I was watching welcome to dairy and it was great because Pennywise just goes, I'm gay! And he's a little gay clown running around. Do you watch Jerry?

Raving about Derek. I've been trying to get into a welcome. Everyone tells me welcome to Dary is fantastic. And I like Stephen King. Yeah, I like Stephen King. And I usually have a huge aversion to child actors, especially with there's more than one or two. Like, if you got Haley Joel Osmond along for the ride,

okay, that kid can fucking act. He's one and 50 child. He's not exactly a child anymore. Yeah, you know what I mean? Back in the day. Yeah, yeah. If you got him until... Back in the day,

you were ride or die for the H.J.O. Absolutely. I like him in the boys. All chubby-faced and weird. But when I saw that Derry was going to have, like, I don't know, a dozen child actors

and definitely like four or five who are often on screen. I was hesitant, but I'm five episodes into it, I would guess, maybe six, something like that. And I love it.

I think it's really good. I think all those kids can act really, really well and convincingly. I like the I like that they're going to go backwards, right? Because the original it book I think is in the 80s and then the next generation

roughly something like that. Original it book was in like the 50s, I think. Well, it spans because it jumps around but I thought the kids I thought I thought the original kids were. I think they grew up in the 50s because they were there's all the

what do you call it monster movie shit of the time oh yeah a lot of okay well in any of 1957 is where it starts 1957 go ahead so it goes in those 30 year cycles right yeah so they're going to keep going back

like next season I guarantee is the cycle before this or something like that but I'm really into it I like that they got Scars guard back to play penny wise because nobody can do it better and they've got this whole bit where the Air Force is trying to like capture it to use it as a

like weapon of mass destruction. Hell yeah. I like it a lot. That's probably me and my girlfriend's favorite show right now. We did a rewatch of the penguin. She'd never seen that before. And I tell everybody I know that the penguin is equal to the Sopranos. Like I feel like it is.

Really? It's not as funny. It doesn't have that note at all. It doesn't have it. It's got a little of it, but it never rises to the quotability of the Sopranos, and it doesn't have that big cadre of characters who are like Polly Walnuts, Christopher, like those guys can do their own episodes on their own, and they stand up. But if you're just talking about like Tony Soprano versus this version of the Penguin,

I think those two characters are really close and really similar. I love it. I have a good point, man. The humor of the Sopranos is probably why it remains so relevant. It's just like infinitely quotable. Yeah, because the second you start talking about... Fucking Queers! I hear my head, so what, no fucking Zidi?

Oh! That was the quote that was the first fucking episode. I empathize the most with in that whole show. Every day I look in the fridge and I go, so what? No fucking Ziti? That's my life. Well, I just look at that fat kid and I empathize with that fat kid and he's upset and no Ziti. This says a lot of pulp.

She throws that fucking phone out of Yeah, it's Every episode has a quote or two in it I like to go on the Sopranos subreddit And those guys like they'll infest Like feeds with Sopranos quotes And that's always fun She was just a fucking kid

It's just like 82 Just a baby I like all the supernatural moments that were that were in the Sopranos because every now and then Polly would like see the fucking Virgin Mary appear to him in one episode on a poll and then when Pauley goes to that like spiritual

guidance guy and he can see ghosts like like following Paulie around of everybody he killed like like I love dude I remember go on a Reddit and there was like people been like how'd the psychic know that? I'm like because it's a fictional fucking show he can you can make a magic being real

if you want it doesn't matter because there are ghosts in the Sopranos universe Yeah It's like Because in the Sopranos goes Did you ever see There's like a shot in the show Where they

I forget somebody like closes a door And the door's mirror attached to it And yeah Pussy is just in the mirror For like a split second And then like you know Goes away That's a Tony's mother's funeral

That's spooky shit I love it Yeah He's he's thinking about pussy And he swings that door And their pussy is in the thing And then like one of his boys Comes hey Tone

Yeah time to come out now and it's just like he looks back and it's gone and then polly walks in to the bottom being one time and there's this like audio like horror movie kind of from and he looks and the virgin mary like the actual virgin mary wearing like the biblical garb is up on the pole at the strip club and he's like uh and then it's gone and there's there's two or three and then off and the big one is obviously polly having a hole like they're ghosts following paulie around for sure. and then you could even say in the pine barons episode that russian getting shot in the head and then just they follow his footprints and they end in the snow like there's there's a blood trail there's footprints in fresh fallen snow and then nothing and of course the camera goes up to give the audience the idea of perhaps this is the viewpoint of the russian hiding in a tree but there's no way that russian got head shot and then jumped into a tree like tarzan like he just disappeared yeah he just never know what happened to that

guy yeah uh man yeah i've been i've been getting deep into the soprano's memes lately and one of my favorite ones is uh the death of jacky junior where they go man if uh if vito can sneak up on you uh you deserve to die here let me play this scene can i bring this up real quick pop it up because you got to see the you got it here's the best part about this is the death of jacky junior spoilers and i never noticed it before but they go to do why does Vito have the shittiest fake gun ever it's the word

it's tiny and it's got a square barrel yeah yeah and it goes it goes it's a cap gun yeah you go why did you get a close up why did you get a close up if this clearly fake gun it didn't even reciprocate it didn't reciprocate and then look you

it's a rough gun dude it's plastic the slide doesn't move at all you go dude you're not supposed to use that gun in close-ups it's so bad And again, where the fuck does this 400-pound motherfucker come from? He's just walking out of the street. Nothing's going to happen to me. And then Vito's just fucking there.

He's like, hey. He must have walked right past him. Right? It can't even get in the car right. It's like the worst hit him all the fucking time. But they hold on it. See, this is the comedy of the show. A main character just got like assassinated in the street.

But they hold on that shot to show. him uncomfortably get in and wiggle his way into the car for that little bit of levity that's really yeah dude it's just it's like that's one of those genius things of the show is like such a pathetic character gets the most pathetic death just a fat guy waddles up shoots him with a toy gun and then stumbles into a car and you're like man that is masterful yeah it's it's uh it's not scorsese like like deads are or sad i remember the surrounded that like who was his his father was a big shot no. So Jackie Jr.'s dad was the previous head of the Jersey family. He's the one who died of cancer and then, uh, you know, Tony and Jr. fought over who was going to take over from him.

Right. Remember he dies of cancer in the first season. So that's his kid. And his kid is like, yeah, you know, I want to be in the mob. I want to be a tough guy. Hey, yeah, yeah. And they're like, you're retarded. Like everybody in the show talks about how what a pathetic loser is. Uh, even when he died and then when he dies, Jr's like, didn't he almost drown? And that, that, that, that, that one time. I was like, yeah, and the penguin exhibited the zoo and like two feet of water. Like even his funeral. Why did they just talking about that he was a retarded?

Well, they killed him because they, uh, there was the poker game. They heard the story of how, uh, how Tony and, uh, I forgot who, yeah, rose up, well, they rose up in the ranks by they held up a poker game full of top guys, stole a bunch of money. And then afterwards, you know, they got, uh, they made like a deal. They gave some of the money back, but it kind of raised their reputation. And it's like, hey, these guys are not to be fucked with, you know, all right, they got some cred. So Jackie hears that story.

And he's like, we should go rob that poker game. And then him and his buddy is high on whatever the fuck to show up and accidentally start killing everybody. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so they go into the poker game. They get spooked. They killed the poker dealer. I think, uh, and then they shoot, they shoot a, what's his name? They shoot Furio in the act.

Yeah, exactly. And by the way, Christopher, I don't know if you've ever saw, saw this montage. he is the best shot in the whole show. He has so many, like, incredible feet of marksmanship in that scene. He's like, bam, headshots a guy immediately, like, kills it, kills him. Dude, when he gets ambushed by those two guys, his, like, two underlings that he's, like, raising up, he, like, drops on his side after getting shot and, like, headshots to do it out of the fucking car. Yeah.

When him and Tony steal the wine and they're, like, making their getaway and, like, the cobras or whatever behind him, he's hanging out the window as the car speeds away and shoots one of them he's like i hit him i hit him he's the only soprano who can fucking shoot i hate to turn this into a soprano's podcast but it's just like so many great moments that she oh i love it i've rewatched it um a lot a lot a lot on times and then i watch my favorite episodes like on their own just uh like uh a lot too it's it's one of the greatest shows of all time there's some guy on youtube who just i don't know how he's getting away with it it just goes junior soprano and it's literally every single scene from the show featuring junior soprano in sequential order and it's like 10 hours long and i go how is this not

getting taken down but then i just go i mean i'm putting it on i'm gonna watch every fucking junior moment like why not yeah um and then going back and watching like the godfather and seeing Jr. as a younger, much younger man as a character in that was always a shocker. Like, so many of the actors and Sopranos were in the Godfather movies that they mention frequently in the show, you know.

Dude, Christopher's in Goodfellas. He's the one who gets killed by what's his name? Yeah, he's like he's, well, it's Joe Pesci, Joe Pesci. Yeah, he's the one who tells off Joe Pesci. Spider. His character's name Spider. He's like, hey, how to get you a moment, want it? Hey, he fucking blows a hole. in his foot. Well, dude, the weird thing about Sopranos is you go, is there not enough, like, Italian guys to fucking cast in the show? Because, uh, they had that, do you remember the scene in the deli, which is like famous where he goes, get me the fucking pastry and then he shoots the guy in the foot or whatever. But the guy who when he comes into the deli is Vito, but he just has a different name. And they just later on, we're like, man, we need a fat Italian guy. And they're like, ah, just go get that same guy. Yeah, they didn't know Vito was going to use him for a different character. And it's like, ah, it doesn't matter. No.

matters yeah well if you ever watch deadwood there's that one guy who plays like multiple characters and that too but but this is inexcusable and just because of laziness with with them be like hey i i really like that big fat veto guy can we get back in here you know and they just and then later he becomes like i really like the gay veto season i like when they find out that he was sucking dick instead of having his dick sucked oh oh oh no no Nobody's got AIDS. You mean taken instead of giving? They have that whole meltdown.

And then the ultimate downfall of Vito is that he gets away from the mob. He finds like a perfect, picturesque New England town. But he's such a lazy, fat piece of shit that he's like, man, it was awesome when I got to just hang out and like have people give me money to not shoot them. And he goes, run it back to Tony. And he goes, can I please have my job back? And he's like, uh, maybe, I don't know, man. Yeah. The only character that took me out of it because of how fat they were was Bobby Bacala.

That's a fat suit. They made him wear a fat suit to try and make him fatter than Tony. Yeah. They succeeded. Yeah. Yeah. He was fat as hell. It didn't even make sense how he was ambulatory.

He was, uh, he was huge in, in those early seasons especially. in. I think they let him drop the fat suit maybe because like when he's like when he's fighting Tony in the cabin like he's a pretty fit version of himself. What do you call it? I never saw the movie though, the many saints of Newark or whatever. I watched it

with a bunch of friends. I watched it with a bunch of friends on a vacation and I was like guys we got to watch this. It just had just come out. I was like I know not all of your Sopranos fans but this is technically a prequel so maybe this will be your inroads to like picking up a gym

from the early 2000s and it stunk so bad that we got like 50 minutes into it and I was like guys we can turn this off my bad I you know I this is based on something really good don't let this sour

isn't Newark like the worst city in New Jersey I think it has actually Woody would know like I mean it's so many to pick from yeah yeah you guys Paterson, you got Elizabeth. It's hard to name a town. How do you name a town in Jersey

and go, well, that's the good one? Like, no, they're all bad. Gloucester. Jesus Christ. Where do they grow the tomatoes? It's hard to be the worst town in New Jersey. I bet out there were like, oh, that's a good one. Like, oh, that's a good one.

Is that the worst name state? Is that the most like... New Jersey? Yeah, the garden steak. I grew tomatoes as a child in New Jersey. South Jersey's dope. You would like it. Yeah, but is it the garden state when you picture it in your head?

If you, if, if, if, oh, my God, you drive on the turnpike past like freaking exit 16 and think you know New Jersey because it smells a little bit like poo. No, there are lots of parts of New Jersey that don't smell like poo. I'm asking an expert. I'm not forming any judgments of my own. I'm just saying. We've heard you. We've heard you judgments.

And you found New Jersey wanting. My state's called the Pete. state and there are a great many peach orchards that you could drive through especially in the spring of summertime they're beautiful and they smell fragrantly on the wind but you know i drove through your state and i think that they make dirty diapers in those plants that's all i can imagine but why would you why would you manufacture dirty diapers i asked myself that question every day that's why all the children in jersey grow up to be some shit bags I'm trying to find

the coolest state saying right now no state motto yeah state Arkansas reg well they're all it's living or die

what are you talking about the people rule it's not the motto like like our regnott's poverty or die that's Vermont right yeah or New Hampshire

I think it's Pennsylvania is you have a friend in Pennsylvania New Hampshire's live free or die Vermont is is look at what Bernie Sanders is doing freedom and unity that's gay

Texas you know what Texas his motto is friendship that's it yeah that's all you get that is not gay terrible don't miss what they would tell you it is I see on the list Tennessee's motto is agriculture and commerce

just a statement of things that exist agriculture and commerce Utah's is industry. I get it. They're Mormon. They were busy. They didn't have time to come up with a good one. Virginia. Missouri's is the show me state. I was wondering if that was official. Okay. Yeah, it was. What is it? It's Salas Populi Suprema Lexesto. Let the welfare of the people be the supreme law. Nicknamed the show me state. Oh, well, let the welfare of the people be the supreme law is a much better thing. Do you know why Philadelphia is called the city of brotherly love? Because there's a lot of gay guys. No. Because Philadelphia is Greek for brotherly love. Phila, meaning brother, and Delphia.

No, no, it's the other way around. I think Philo is love. Delphi. And Delphia is a brother. No, I'm pretty sure it's because of the amount of gay sex. No, it's the brotherly love and Greek. Oklahoma. Labor conquers all things.

Very sinister. Very sinister. Kansas. That's a fascist as fuck. What the hell? Oregon. She flies with her own wings. Gay as hell. Could he guessed it. What's Georgia? Georgia. Let's find Georgia in the list. There it is. Wisdom, justice, moderation. Oh, yeah. That's what I think about it.

We love a little moderation. Georgia's got a good one. The Peach State. Oh, apparently it's not just called the Peach State. It's called the Empire State. of the South. Have you heard that? Kyle? I have.

It's also the Granite Capital of the United States. I think we go back and forth on production numbers with... Wow. Stop bragging, dude. I would have guessed it was like a Vermont and New Hampshire at the Granite Capitol. Florida. Florida just says, in God, we trust. They couldn't even come up with their own shit.

They just stole it off the dollar. It's the Sunshine State, though. I feel like we're looking at the wrong mottos. Well, here I have the lotos. U.S. state tourism slogans. Alabama, share the wonder. That's Bama. You're talking about your sister, right?

Everything's a wonder and he ain't Alabama because we don't know nothing. Iowa is such an embarrassment of a state. Fields of opportunity. All right. That's actually fair for Iowa. There are lots of fields, much opportunity. The list I'm seeing for Alabama says,

Aldemus Jura Nostra Defenderay, which is we dare defend our rights. Oh shit. Nicknamed. Heart of Dixie, the Yellowhammer State. The Yellowhammer State. Never heard that. You're thinking of U.S. state nicknames, Woody. That's what you're thinking of.

Am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Arkansas, the hot, the Razorbag state, the toothpick state also. That's... The worst team in the SEC state. Wow.

Georgia the peach state and Delaware the peach state Delaware with a asterisk is no longer used to see Georgia Wow Georgia took peach state from Delaware That's cool Hell yeah

All right Your peaches fucking suck All right You guys can be the peach state I think Florida makes more peaches than Georgia though You guys don't even win peaches I don't think so

But I think they make so many more oranges That they hang their hat on the oranges I remember a big fight is that Idaho gets all the credit for potatoes and Maine's like, we make way better fucking potatoes and just almost as many. Maine makes that Maine is a big, I believe Maine is a big potato state. Interesting.

I feel like any state that wants to could be a big potato state because aren't they one of those that grow in everything? Like they just want to grow. If you have a bag of potatoes in your kitchen for too long, They just desire to grow and they start. Well, that's like the worst thing about the Irish is you're like, how did you fuckers not figure out how to grow more potatoes? They're like, yeah, we're out.

We're all going to fucking starve. Yeah, they had a whole famine and the very bad. And then the British turned off, you know, and the British turned off any food going there too and tried to starve them out. I think there was also part of the Irish potato famine was that they were just, for some reason, they're like, charity is not allowed in any form. And you're like, all these poor people are starving. Can we just give them some potatoes?

and they're like, absolutely not. They'll become dependent on the state. And you're like, well, I don't know, man. I don't know if we've got to let everybody fucking starve. Potato blight. I googled it to the potato blight. They were so dependent on that one crop that caused an entire famine.

When I lived in Boston, downtown Boston, there's a great Irish potato famine statue. You're just walking around, feeling good. And all of a sudden there's like a lady in her kids are like skeletons grasping for fucking potatoes in the sky. And you're like, ah, what the fuck? I think you read the plaque. And it's like, the potato.

A potato famine. And you're like, oh my God, this is horrible. These guys, they were eating a lot of potatoes beforehand. Oh, I'm glad you're here. You missed our little conversation earlier. We'll keep it brief. But Taylor and I argue that in the Avatar movies, we are pro-human, and we want that planet to be raped, pillaged, climatized for us, terraformed, and then populated.

And the blue people be damned. I'm all for a genocide, preferably a virus that only kills. them. And Woody is all like, morally, it's wrong. They live in harmony. And you just come in with your mean bulldozers. When you think about the Russians invading Ukraine, who's right and who's wrong? If the Ukraine was populated by blue people, I would be helping the Russians. If there was if Ukraine had unobtanium in space whales, then we're taking it. That's it. Then we would do. If there was a nugget in Ukraine, you know what? I would say a Russian. I'm, I'm pro-Russian. So I think going into

another country, killing the men and raping the women and stealing the toilets for some reason and the children is fine because as long as it's good for me, I don't have a problem with it. That would be the parallel argument. Here's why Avatar gets too complicated for me is I don't even know why we're

there. In the first movie, we wanted on Optanium, and I don't remember why. Why do we want on Uptanium? Superconductors for space travel, I think. Special magnetic properties. And then I watched the second movie and I'm like, they must still want unobtainium. They're like, no, no, now we got to cut open these fucking whales.

I'm like, what's in the whales? And they're like, a goo that makes you live forever. I'm like, you got dune whales? Oh, my, yeah, fucking get at those dune whales. What do you mean? And now the third movie, they got to fight volcano people. Is there something in the fucking volcano now? What's in the volcano?

In the next one? Yeah, okay, the first one is Avatar, the riding dragons. The second one is Avatar, riding whales. And the one is Avatar. Look at all these fucking volcano people. I don't know what the next one is. I thought they lived in the woods or something, though. That was the first movie.

Those were the woods ones. No, they were the flying ones. There are ground-based terrestrial ones, too. They're stronger than the flying ones you're thinking of. They're like muscular. Okay. The flying ones are kind of lanky. Okay.

And I think it, I bet those, the reason they live on those floating chunks of land is because it's unobtainium and it's like a room temperature superconductor that's levitating up there and that's the whole deal. So basically we're talking about levitation, anti-gravity technology that we can create from a room temperature

fucking superconductor that's that powerful. So yeah, it's like crazy futuristic technology for us. Apparently in the lore, Earth is wrecked. So Vito, are you team kumbaya? Let's coexist with the Fern Gully people? Or are you team, let's stop

those smurf bitches into paste and see how it tastes well i mean like it's the old question of like how long you guys been here millions of years we've co-existed with the planet and you're like and you're building like huts out of vines and shit like is you ever think about making concrete maybe like making a brick they're like ah we don't know i got time for that we're too busy hooking our brains up to each other and fucking in cyberspace and you're like wow uh kind of seems like you guys are just hedonistic fucking tribal people like you had all this time to build a society and your society is yeah we find an animal and we jam our brainstemming in the animal and then it's like our slave or something and you're like I just I feel like you haven't created any real do you have any

books or anything no they're not big on writing they're not big on we've got a tree have you seen our tree it's the old man it's the uh but here's the thing is I heard and I don't know if this is true because I haven't seen the new avatar I've heard that maybe it is like a little subversive like you know how they have the big glowing world fucking sentience at the center of the planet or whatever yeah i heard a rumor that like maybe that thing is actually like a parasite that crash landed there and it's been subtly influencing the blue people and i'm like no but i don't think that's true because that's way too cool and would actually like advance the plot i think it's just hey look at these blue people and now there's fire this time like and

there's not have you heard the way james cameron's talking about the future avatar movies whenever they ask him. He wants to make even more. Oh, they're supposed to be six. Well, they're supposed to be six, but now they're interviewing him. And the way he's talking about it, he's like, yeah, you know, we'll see what happens.

I'm like, oh, he gave up. He's done. No, no, no. It's the studio. Like, he had a hard time getting them. Does Jim Cameron, like, have a huge amount of sway with like intelligence agencies or something because there is no way that he keeps making these movies

that are getting $2 billion. They all make money. And then they, and then nobody talks about. Nobody talks about these movies. Nobody has ever spoken to me about have you seen the new avatar ever. If you look at the list of like the top five or six grossing films of all time, he's got like three or four of them. Titanic.

Yeah, Titanic is in there. I'll watch that someday. I'm sure it's good. Don't be sure. I won't watch it. It's not bad. She's got nice cities. Look, I heard he had a hard time getting the third one green lit.

And he literally said in the meeting, you don't want to make another $2 billion. And they were like actually. It's a good argument. actually he wins and they're making a third one I hope they keep making the money I'm glad that there's something outside of the Marvelverse and the constant rehash

of rebooting shit I'm glad that it exists over there is the third one out yeah yeah see I don't think it's doing well we'll see well here's the thing that I read up on is every avatar movie comes out the gate slow as hell for some reason

and then for some reason the last two avatar movies people go yeah hey we should go see that fucking avatar hey we're watching blue people run around and then for no reason just all of a sudden makes a billion dollars and he came out and said if this movie does flop i'll hold a press conference and tell you what four and five would have been yeah all i know is like the great tragedy of my life is that james cameron while working on these avatar movies let everything else fucking fall apart where he's like yeah i'll just let another guy make a Terminator movie

where in the first five minutes young John Connor gets shot in the face what did you do that? What the fuck? You didn't like that? Edward Furlong I love that kid. Oh boy we solved the fuck and his fucking head gets blown off. Dude it looks so real. It looked like

Edward Furlong and then a real looking I don't know if it was a Schwarzenegger Charles. Arnold? Yeah no it was Arnold the G aging is pretty fucking good at this point. Like it's definitely at that point where you can give like 60 and 70 year old actors another 10 years at the wheel

like just looking old but when they rewind all the way it's pretty fucking good like that Edward Furlong that they had in that Terminator movie it was like that's him they brought back the kid from 1992 they look good how did they do it

did they have an actor very similar and modify him is that I think I think yeah they just face track on top of a kid you know you just have a kid yeah yeah face track on the Terminator franchise has been shit for so long. I don't think outside the first two, I don't think any of them are worth watching.

Somebody told me the TV show was actually like solid. Summer Glow plays the Evil Terminator and she has like a dance background like ballet or something at a high level and so she's sort of a like I don't know, she's a version of the Terminator that's a little different. She also was in the Serenity movie

I think. She was the girl that was like yeah she was the one who was like dancing around kicking the shit out of everybody in that bar. Is that sound right? Yeah, maybe so. I just know the actress's name. I've only seen that movie once though. But anyway, she was in that Terminator TV show and it was on Fox at the time

at a time when like I was finally making my own like TV decisions and I was a big fan of the show. I liked it. I don't know if I'd like it now. But yeah, the whole universe has gone to shit. I thought three was stupid. They tried to make it so like

goofy and quirky. It's a lady Terminator. She gets pulled over by a cop and so she makes her tits It's, like, huge to get out of the ticket. Are you sure that's three? Yes. Yeah, three was the way she was port on that red body suit. Yeah, she's played by Christiana Loken.

Oh, that, yeah, okay, I'm following. And at the end of the movie, The Terminator puts John Connor in a bunker or something. And he's like, oh, judgment day's happening. You go, it's going to be judgment day. Now, that twist. And then that geeky kid somehow turns into Christian Bale from being in a bunker. And you're like, how did the fuck of that happened? That kid was a weird.

He must have had a full gym down there. John Wayne movies or something. yeah no that was a good twist because like Schwarzenegger's like yeah we're gonna we gotta stop judgment day again and and he's kind of buying into it and then at the end he's like judgment day can't be stopped I've been driving you to a bunker not to the enemy live John Connor and like sacrifices himself

how many times is that going to happen I mean it's a time travel that was the weird thing with the new one is that like James Cameron was like well I had to kill John Connor and I'm like no you don't have to kill John Connor you could have said you know he stopped that future and went off and lived his normal life like no I had to shoot fucking little John Connor and they had two seconds of the movie I'm like well then the Christian I don't understand the Christian bail Terminator movie that it's in the future in the like time when the machines have taken over and he's fighting in the resistance I thought had so much

potential but then they just did the same thing all over again and made it Well, do you know what the original ending for that movie was supposed to be before they pussyed out? That it was going to turn out John Connor was a Terminator the whole time or something? It was going to turn out. Well, remember there's like the Terminator. I forget who he's played by. He was like looks like a human or whatever. And he like John Connor's friend or whatever.

Yeah. So John Connor was going to die. And he was basically going to go to this Terminator and be like, your John Connor moving forward. Like you like John Connor is an idea, not a man. like the world needs a John Connor and that is you and then he was going to big of like a radio broadcast be like we're the resistance

we got to we got to stop Determinators If you can hear this If you could hear the resistance That's a pretty good line My name's John Connor And if you can hear this John Connor You are the resistance

That's fucking good You can hear a little bit of that That Christian bail A little bit of that in the background Like he grew up in California It almost sounds like you're doing Jais and stuff Oh, Jason Statham is much lower.

You're telling me that I got to... Jason Statham is the car rental man. What you're telling me is I've got to deliver this little girl to him by 5 p.m. this evening. All right. Well, I need a... You can call me a bit of a trans-bore. Wait, that's the other movie.

I remember that movie. What's the movie where the assassin? He ends up shagging up with the little kid. and you're like, well, this is... Oh, Leon the professional? Yeah, the professional. There you go. Yeah, they had to make Leon a little retarded

so that you would get away from the peto vibes. I feel like that was a clear choice. You had a grown-ass man teaching a way over-sexualized 12-year-old how to be an assassin. And you had to, like, make him a little slow so that you never think that he would ever do anything to live. It's okay. They're on the same level.

I can't think of that actress's name. Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman, right? You can do it. I got that clip of her asshole on my phone somewhere. Yeah. You have Natalie Portman's asshole on your phone. Link it.

I've linked it before. You've squandered it then. Why would I bother a second time? I sent you this girl, who's my new muse. This is, I just, you put a link in there with no, like. You're actually, no. I don't know. You were full of shit, dude.

You never linked me a picture of Natalie Portman's bus. hole. Yeah, she's stripping. She's wearing a pink wig. She's on a pole when she bends over. You can see your butt hole a little bit behind the thong. It's good stuff. Did she get caught up in a, what was that hacking? The fappening. No, no, she did not. Celebrity nudes got leaked. No. My uncle was the lawyer who represented the kid who leaked all the celebrity nudes. My uncle successfully got that kid off after the kid got off himself. Wow. So you can thank my family for uh king promote yeah he got him a good lay king how did he what was his defense his defense was he was a dumb kid who got bullied by a bunch of other kids on the internet

and they said you can't hack all those celebrities naked pictures he's like yes i can shut up and then he did it and he posted it on like a forum and they're like we're telling and he's like oh so i got like probation or some shit it was a young it was a young he was i think he might have been underage he was he was he was a young guy who uh you know and again It wasn't like a complicated hack. He just kind of sent Scarlett Johansson a fucking email that's like, hey, your iTunes password doesn't work and pick a new one. She's like, okay, here's my old one. I have a theory that Jennifer Lawrence, right, over her career, she's done so many nude scenes.

I think last week on the show, we watched her do a nude fight scene. That girl gets naked all the time. She has a role where she plays a spy that basically blows people. She did because of the fappening. I think the flappinging, like, bruntleton. broke that seal. And then she's like, oh, you know what? It's not like anyone hasn't seen my junk. All those bitches like the attention. They always go, oh, I feel so ashamed. They're all getting off on it. They're happy. They're out there. She's taking control of the trauma that she was dealt. She's talked

about that before. Like what did she say? She's taking control of the thing that traumatized her before. You know, she's making it heard. She's like that beach scene I sent you the other day where yeah yeah complete full frontal nudity and she's like beating up kids on the beach like she's making it hers by that's her being like you don't expose me I expose me this is my body I'll show it when I want we need to convince more women that this is the way but in the truest sense you are the patriarchy Taylor in the truest sense it wasn't her that decided she's deciding this though like you might have some like like hazy photo of her titties but But she put out an 8K slow motion version of her like crowd stuff, like curb stomping people

where they're, where they saw that. And I, if tits are moving too quickly, they're not attractive anymore. They have to be a little, a little static. By the way, I just wanted to point, this Lauren 1-1-1 girl, my new favorite, just outrageous. Lauren-11- She's a perfect human being. Yeah, you keep scrolling. Just keep scrolling and just scroll and as long as you want.

it's it's just good stuff if aliens came down here with one of those claw machine grapples looking for the perfect female specimen they would lead with her is this this a woppy looking girl wearing like I mean Woppy

there's a link there you fucking shh I looked at Lauren 1-1-1 on Google and it went to a page I'll link to enjoy reactor at 9 she does have a lot of forehead But on that. She looks Asian.

Let's see. She's South African. Okay. That's fine. The colonizer. Nice. She, I used to, I don't know if she's still perfect, but that Emily Radajowski, how close did I come down in? Yes.

Rachowski. Yeah. She, absolutely perfect human specimen, female specimen. But she was, well, she must be in her. 40s now, right? I feel like she's been she's still super hot, but you gotta replace these ones every few years. She is 34.

What? She's a few months younger than me. She must have been like 18. She was very young in that Allen Thick video. She means she is an old maid. She me tooed him for but me. I'm still young. I'm still simple. Who'd she me too? I'll think I like thick.

The one that he, Robin Thick. Robin Thick. Yeah. Yeah. There's more of of the girl though that I'm a fan of. this just, just pages and pages, apparently. Man, Emily Radajowski doesn't even wear shirts at these gala of nets that, like, even vaguely cover her nipples. Like, I can see them.

Oh, my God, you're right. That's a wonderful shirt. That's actually either a wonderful shirt or a terrible shirt, depending on who's wearing it. I feel like the shirt has, like, built-in fake nipple, because it's like, or we look at the same thing as the Met Gala? I'm looking at the L beauty school. Yeah, yeah,

dude, that's got to be like strategically placed. No, that's just her fucking nipple. Oh, it is the Met Gala. You're right. Yeah,

I'm a fan of this. I think it's good. Wow. I think this is something we should encourage. And also, I didn't even see. I'm looking at a lady's nipples and broad public at the fucking Met Gala. Hold on,

buddy. I'm, I'm here for you, I'm here for you, I'll link it. I'll link it. Thank you. There you go.

You have to scroll down a little bit. no i i linked the direct image like a gentleman oh looks pretty nice you can see most of her ass oh yeah which is great good for her you got ariola like crazy yeah that is a full dress she's wearing i think that uh conier's girlfriend thinks she's a fucking Mormon though

Kanye's girlfriend is out of control that woman knows how to show a book Bianca Sensori is her name Love Love some Bianca Sensori tities She's pretty fat There's the old blue lines video They don't even seem to sack

Yeah they I think they got some of that unobtainium They're not fake Those are real titties They're all mushy When she wears like string bikinis and stuff They're all mushed up If you hit them with an air hose

They get crazy Those are not real titties You get out of here Those are real titties You're, this is like believing in Santa level shit, dude. Like, how big do you think they were before they started? You don't probably significant, but like, you're serious? Those are real.

You think Bianca Sensori's tits are? Yes. Nattie? You think those are nattie? Yes. Oh, let me. They are. And we looked at it and they were getting a little bit of helping hand from some of those near naked outfits that she wore.

Sure. Yeah, I'll need some support. She does need some support. But that's how you can tell me real. She needs one. Girder. They don't need support. It's a girder.

These are enormous. These are some heavy hangers. I bet they're heavy, too. I want to know how much they weigh. See, that's, we always talk about, like, cup size. I want to feel in my hand how heavy. See, cup size is deceptive because it's based, it's a ratio that depends on the underbreast line, right? So, like, double these on a five-foot tall girl, pale in comparison to double these on a 5-10 girl.

A 5-10 girl would double these on knocking. She can crush fucking beautiful. You're right mostly, but we're talking about the diameter of the rib cage. I care about mass, okay? No, no, what I'm saying is cup size is relative to the diameter of the rib cage, yet you're associating it with the height of the girl, which is probably related to it. It's probably related. You look at the size of the band and a, you know, a 34A and a 38A are not the same thing.

Absolutely. Yeah, but it's the 38 is the circumference of the chest. Yeah, it's completely different. There is a big difference between 32A. double d and a 38 double D. A 38 D as big as your head, Taylor. As big as your fucking head.

It had smaller titty. Kyle, respect you're talking to. It's not as big as Taylor's head, okay? It's as big as your head. Okay, that'll take a shirt. I don't know. They get pretty big.

You guys ever double R? With fat girls? We've talked about this before. I know we have. Woody is so fat averse. He doesn't even look. at fat women, first of all. And I told you, I just literally the most based thing about Woody

by far is that he will see someone who's like 10 pounds overweight in a picture who looks gorgeous and be like, she can stand to lose a few. Like that, I love that. It'll be Hollywood a list actress. Scarlett Johansson in 2014 and say, there's a little meat there. Like, you know you all act like I'm crazy but you didn't see look at this girl Kyle linked that woman I knew you'd like that one I saw that one I saw that one have hip bones like Jesus crazy she has a six pack he's fucking ripped she's got she that is a perfectly symmetrical like bad bodied little bitch it is crazy how hot she is and like the video that I saw that I stumbled upon last night

doing a bit of research um she was it was like she's like oiling herself up like ditty style and like bending over and stretching her abs out and stuff and she's taught she's got like cute south african accent yeah no i made it sound weird but but hers is cute so it's just a perfect perfect little tiny human being she looks like she'd play an elf and a sexy version of of like santa claus in the north fall they'd be back there fucking oh my favorite movie is this is this woman famous or yeah yeah Yeah, she's a big, yeah, yeah. I think she's huge on, like, she does only fans.

So, like, she's got a big only fans account. I don't know how big it is. I don't know if you can tell how big someone's only fans or how many followers they have or whatever. They don't want you to know a lot of the time because then they're worried, like, people think they're grifting making too much money from their titties. Yeah, good for them.

I never begrudge that. Like, what I begrudge is those, those, like, I don't like half measures, Walter, all right? So when I see those bitches on Twitch, breaking every law and rule they've ever set and enforced against a dude, I get a little annoyed as they like clearly abuse some parasycial relationship that they formed with their far too young male audience to like, I don't know, make them buy $50 worth of cookies and call them broke boys and then sell their only fans to people and shake their tities and bend over while they write their names on their bodies and hum and gurgle into. microphones like that's a talent somehow get the fuck out of you want you go do voice work you cock sucker in disguise it must be it must be a generational thing because to me the idea of watching a woman play video games is like oh that's horrible she wouldn't be any good at them yeah i want to see a guy who's like you know hitting all the speed runs and jumping over all the

stuff i go yeah if i want to hear the best possible man at finishing a game i need to hear his family having thanksgiving downstairs without now see see this is where i different. Like, I like when they play video games, and there's some girls that are great at video games. But what I don't like is when they're, the only reason that you've got 5,000 people tuned in here is because you're like stripping. And a hot to, and a, that's how I'm doing on a burlesque show. I want a video game who's pretty good at it. And she's in like a hoodie with an unflattering camera angle. That is a quality streamer, in my opinion. Like, I want to see what you she's not going to fuck you

so judge you're based on her show not some dream you have of landing i don't mind if she's looking good but i would like and like this is some i just think because it's kids and because we don't even if the audience were 18 and older i wouldn't give a shit but it's it's i know that it's not i know that there's little kids watching this shit and it's like borderline

pornography and i know they already have access to that but like this slips under the rug of their parents Like even the most conservative parents probably don't know that there's fucking strippers on Twitch bending over and like showing their assholes and stuff. It's okay to be a good looking girl streamer.

Yeah. It just can't be the point of your stream. It shouldn't be the point of your stream. Like I don't think. And there's plenty of websites for that. There's plenty of websites for that that don't also cater to children and video games and funzy shit.

Which is what I thought Twitch was. Maybe Twitch wants to go in a different direction. They should just make a, like an adult side that's monetized like only fans. Like, go ahead and do that. Make it a camgirl site. Like, like, I don't, you know, to a joint Twitch. But I don't know. I don't want to see landmark and then summit and then titties. It doesn't make sense to be on this way. What would you call it? Twitch beat. I like Twitch bait. Maybe. Yeah. I would just, just go ahead. A-A-T-E or B-A-I-T.

B-A-T-E for sure. Yeah. All right, Twitch bait. I don't think you can use the word Twitch in it, though. I mean, I guess if they run it. Nah, you need to know they're associated, right? Because that's how you become an instant hit. If you're just like, I don't know, whatever bait, then you're starting from ground zero.

But Twitch bait, nah. You tell your top streamers who you know belong on there. Hey, we got this deal. You want a marketing deal over here? Let's show me your nudes first. Twitch after Dark. I want to know what I'm buying. Dark.

I'd think that was black folks playing video games though. Oh my gosh. You think so? You think Twitch Dark has a category for black people? I think it is a category for black people. Twitch Ebony.

Then I would actually click into that because I would think they would have funnier reactions. For us, buy. If there was a specific, if there was just a black streaming service, I'm in.

I want to see that. And if you walk the street of Kyle, you can get your own pair of South Pole sweatshorts. Oh, can I get some N-1s to go with them, size 12? Of course you can. Cool. If you want the experience, Vito, you should go to a black barber. Like, they're the best at what they do.

Yeah, all this fucking hair. You can have anything you want. They can give you new hair. They can take away your hair, whatever. But you go to a black barber. I was shocking for me. That was shocking. No, he's.

He's been bald forever. He's just... I didn't know that. Living the dream. I tried... Dude, I was growing it back, but then... I was honestly, I was taking the finastertilded an accident. And then all these fucking reports are coming out where it's like...

Yeah, it actually just fries your fucking brain. It was working. I was growing hair back like crazy. But then I was like, I don't think my brain's working as good as it was. And I stopped fucking... I got like spooked. I stopped taking it. Yeah, if your brain stops working as well, it's very easy to...

A sexual side of fact, too, I'm told... One of those. side effects. Yeah, it was harder to jack-go. It takes fucking forever to come out with a comic book. Does this be late? Let me see, let me see. And see the thing with Farnastride is sometimes

sometimes Farnastride never gives you a comic book. And it's understood a thing where it's like, ha ha ha ha, I got your money. And then you don't send out the comic. Is the comic out yet? I sent out the digital version of it so people

have a digital one they're reading and I now have to print it and get it. I have to get it off the printer I have to print three it is three different covers and colors and whatever else but it is it is finally wrapping up and thankfully the artists were like halfway done with the second one which is going much quicker it's just the last minute production

issues but people have read it I'm going to keep it going I never doubted your work ethic look it's going to be a I didn't know the wins of wind of what I'm complimented you why i made a number of mistakes the biggest mistake was me being like i can color a comic book it'll be easy and then be being like i have no fucking idea what i'm doing and i should have just hired another fucking person i do it i would have been like this should be red

no but uh it's wrapping up man i'm i'm happy i think the next couple months we'll have it out and again the second one was like halfway done so that one will be quicker yeah Under budget, I had a schedule. Under budget, I had a schedule. I'm not going to crowd fund it, so I've got to get a million emails. You really are like George W. Like, mission accomplished. Like, he's just standing on that fucking boat in 2003.

You know, he landed on that boat in a fighter jet, wearing a bomber jacket. I bet he did. Nobody has ever once criticized George Bush to me as though he's not like a fun, cool guy. I bet he is a fun, cool guy to hang out with. But he doesn't drink. He had that he is. He had that alcoholic. Oh, he doesn't drink?

I thought he was an alcoholic. I'm thinking of Bill Clinton's brother. He doesn't do cocaine anymore. I thought that was George Bush's thing. No, George W. Bush, like, was an alcoholic and then he stopped, right? Yeah. George W. Bush had a history of heavy drinking in his youth, including a 1976 DUI arrest, but quit alcohol cold turkey in 1986, crediting his wife, Laura, and a.

religious awakening fucking jesus man bringing the party to a halt yet again uh making him less funny yeah and now he just fucking paints because he can't drink now he does like bad paintings as shitty paintings and they're not they're not good it's weird how george bush i remember my lifetime is like he's the most evil uh war monger alive and he's bombing all these poor iraqis and now it's like that's my retarded grandpa who paints dogs and we put him on on late night talk shows because we've got nothing else to do. And you think at any point

like Hitler had a nephew where he was like yeah that is my goofy ass uncle always talking about art and this shit, not a fan. And then they like had to watch. It's like, oh fuck, he's actually pretty compelling. I mean, they had some of Hitler's descendants

be like, yeah, it's kind of weird, but I just don't think about it that much. Probably, yeah. I found a video overall oiled up. Nice. Lauren 1-1-1. What do you mean? Lauren 1-1.

Let me take a peek. Oh, there's a lot of Cyrillic lettering here. Ignore that. This is solo porn. Yes, it is. Yeah, I don't know. Some reason I thought she was like an Instagram model, sexy someone, but she just told me she hopes I was touching my dick.

Totally and completely. Hold on, guys. This ad is daring me not to come. I don't have to take the dare. Do you dare in ties? Try not to come. Do not click this at unless you are committed to fucking ugly women in your area right now. Well, they also, they get you where they're like, you have to fuck them.

You must. Okay. You cannot say no. This is a- Backing out. You can't back out. Okay, but I'm watching the video. She starts off filming vertically.

and then she turns to filming horizontally. So the whole fucking videos on her side. Yeah, she didn't edit it. I don't want to look at a sideways vagina. Oh, it gets fully upside down by 12 minutes. Oh, she's fucking up, man. She doesn't know what she's doing. Two minutes in Adobe Premiere.

Come on. I stabilized. I got the stabilized version if you want it. Yeah, yeah, you reduce the screen shake. Let's come on. Throw a little more stabilizer on there. video. Yeah. Yes, it is. I stumbled upon it last night between the like scat videos and the fake rape over on motherless.com. Like Kyle, did you also find yourself watching Tom Parsley's video like this? No. No, I found

the part I wanted and then I utilized it and then I deleted my search history. All right. For all of us about to utilize the clip, Kyle sent, Vito, where can you find all your stuff? Where can you find me? Go to YouTube.com slash Vito. Check out all my cool, cool videos. I'm also wrong. I'm not going to check me out on. That's what she said.

I've been selling, I've been selling acts of trading cards at whatnot.com slash invite slash veto. Get $15 for signing up. I got the official Terminator two trading cards. if anybody needs a pack of these. Oh, Kyle does. Man, I don't have any packs now. Well, the most exciting thing about the Terminator 2 packs is you would get deep into them. The only way you were allowed to buy the Terminator 2 merchandise was if you first unlocked the trading card.

So you couldn't just buy the Terminator 2 jacket patch. You first had to get the trading card for the Terminator 2 jacket patch and then use the mail-in code on the back. Okay. Only $3.25 for the Terminator 2 jacket. emblem that's exciting for me get them while they last get them while they last so check out veto buy all your cards from him yep come on over all right pka 784