Painkiller Already - PKA 790 W/ Oompaville: Taylor’s Flu Show

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

P.K.A. 790. Our guest, Caleb, crowd favorite. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Bluetooth, lock and load, and our wonderful merchandise. Boys, I think I might die during the show. This is the sickest I've ever been in the 12 years. I've been doing this sitting here talking. Oh, you don't complain about it at all, though. Never. I've never once complained. I was on the call for one second, and Taylor's like, what do you got me sick? Over the internet. I got him sick. My bad.

It's true. It's true. I appreciate the possibility. everyone come to the table here. But yeah, I was like talking to Kyle when you guys are sick, do you ever like when you're trying to sleep and you can't because you're all stuffed up or your throat hurts, your head hurts? Do you get those like intense fever dreams where basically the same 20 seconds of a dream

happens over and over and over and over and over and over. And then you wake up and you're like, what the? Not only am I not rested, I'm more anxious. I'll get tortured about like Qaeda in my dreams. Oh my God, that's way worse than mine. My fever dreams, yeah. I get a, I have chronic migraines and I get fever dreams whenever I have migraines as well. So it's like that like once a week I'll have horrible, um, Islamic cage torture dreams where I'm just like a P.O.W.

It's really weird. I would tell them everything they want to know right away. Me too. I'm very. What the radio signal is. I ask for one of those funny hats they got. I'm just joining up. Do you think you could like fake your way out of an ISIS situation?

He's been curious about Islam. Could I please have a Quran? Oh, you give me three or four weeks. They'll be talking about the American that joined the Taliban. I'll be winking a lot at the camera, like that NAMPOWD that was pointing to that anywhere. It's not Morse code. He's just winking at us, hoping we can infer the entire story from his.

Stone strike me. I thought about that plan too, where like they capture you and you're like, you know, I've always been curious. you know, it may be telling me, and they'd be like, ha ha, this is not first time, friend, bang! Like they'd, like, I'd doubt. I would mention that I've got Muslim friends and, you know,

I never made fun of their magic art. What kind of Muslim friend? A Moroccan and and I forgot where fish is from, but it's somewhere scary. One Muslim friend. And he made him plural for some reason.

I've got two. I've got you. There's no guy from Morocco. Oh, yeah? I'm Lebanese. My family's Lebanese. spoke to him in 25 years. Oh, that's three. You can count Caleb.

But I used to have. He's not Muslim, though. So you'd be lying. No. They could tell. When you're having your horrible Muslim dreams, Caleb, do you get the like, Oh, like,

No, no, no. It's, uh, it's, I think I saw a video on LiveLeak when I was a kid of, of a dude getting his head chopped off. And it's like, I'm in that. It's, it's very much,

um, it's, it's not creative. It's literally, I'm just in a scene that I've seen before. there's there's nothing new there's no music it's just it's just torture basically

yeah we all remember that video and we were all kids when it came out probably yes we all were kids we barely remembers 2006 just a babe that's a terrible nightmare that's a terrible nightmare I've never once had

like an Islamic nightmare it's always something retarded that I nightmare about like like I forgot something or I'll still occasionally get the school thing or the college thing where I realize I've been sitting in a class that I didn't wasn't on my schedule. Yep. Or the entire semester. And then I'll wake up and like I'm in, I'm like peeing and I'm like, how are we going to get through this?

And then it's like, oh, you're, you're 34. You're at home. Yeah. It says something perhaps that normal life is just way too traumatizing. We have all had that, oh my gosh, I'm way behind in school nightmare. I had nightmares about not being able to pay my mortgage long after I paid off the mortgage. That shit rides. And it's like, life is too hard.

Those things are traumatizing. Because they're every day and they're so pedestrian, we all laugh them off and chuckle them off. But no, that stress from school of like worrying about failing and the social stigma of potentially not graduating on time and what you're parents are going to say and how like you're just imagining being in a class full of underclassmen doing this all over again next year and how everybody else is going to be at college and getting laid and driving you and everybody's parents are buying them new cars for graduation you're going to be sitting here with these children again like that seeps into your soul in a scary kind of way that never goes away so yeah i have that dream where i'm realizing that oh my god i've been taking a class

that isn't on my syllabus this whole time. I might even have a passing grade, but who cares? This isn't a class that I am taking. And there's another class that I now have discovered today. And it's midterms or some shit. It's like I have one shot at like passing this thing. What era for you? High school.

High school. Yeah, I didn't go to college. And it's, it's, it's, make or break. And I'm looking at a book this fucking thick of like European history being like, all right, let's let's hit the broad strokes because the midterm starts in eight minutes. I got to know all these math. Yeah, I'm literally studying for a midterm in a class. I've never attended. That happens in eight minutes. And that's my nightmare. Sometimes I'll spend what feels like half an hour of dream time just trying to find the class. I'm wandering the halls of my high school

lost, looking at a paper I don't understand. The back rooms. Do you, so you don't have the school dreams, Caleb, ever? No, I was homeschooled. Oh, that's probably more comfortable. Do you have bad homeschool where it's like, oh, dad's going to be so pissed. I didn't do this assignment. No, I was a go-getter. I finished my school before, like, noon every single day and didn't have any. It was very easy. I graduated when I was 15 years old and just, like, didn't, it was never an issue. I wish I had done that because I did, I did sixth and seventh grade homeschooled,

but then we felt like I needed more socialization for some reason. Yeah, my parents didn't care. I'd have been fine. We should have just wrapped up high school at home. Like, why not? I didn't learn anything in high school. that I couldn't pick up on history channel. Or fuck the high school.

Just do sports. Just do sports to socialize. That's more fun. I did 8th and 9th and 11th and 12th together. So. Yeah, I remember all the kids who had come from. Like simultaneously. You were doing two years of study at the...

Yeah. Okay. You did 8, 9, 11, and 12 across how many years? 8 and 9 were one year, one full year over summer. And then 11 and 12 were one full year over summer. And then as soon as that... from this is you don't know Jack shoot about 10. Yeah.

That's a mystery to you. What was, what was 10th grade? I don't remember. I don't remember economics. That was World War II. That was Algebra of one. That was the chemistry year.

That was either, that was geometry. I don't remember doing chemistry. Chemistry was like, I was doing chemistry. They asked me to do it again. It's a good thing. Taylor's talking about that like hypothetical nightmare of being left behind. I'd be in chemistry class, you know, Zinger's going back and forth with me and the other kids.

And every so often they'd be like, shut up, dude, you're in 12th grade. I think that's going to be off limits. Damn, that's rough. Say, we didn't. Physics with all the people your age. Shut up, dude, you're in 12th grade. That's brutal. How do you come back from that?

You're like, as if. Nobody gave the older kids who were in our classes any guff because they were usually like big scary kids. There was like a giant black guy who should have already graduated, but he's taking 11th grade social studies with us. So what are you going to say to him? Yeah. It's not going to go well. Just push that guy through. When are social studies going to come into play for him?

Just ask him a few presidents. Get a gist. I don't even know what social studies is. What is that? It's history, civics, stuff like that. It's like history but not as fun. Gotcha. Yeah.

It's more about the real shit. It really is. You learn how the government works in social studies too. We had civics. That's what I mean by civics. Yeah, that's the civics part of social studies. In college, I literally did that. Where I went into a finance class, a third of the way or halfway through the year that

I had never been to. And I was like, class is pretty easy. I aced the first test. It was ace in the second. And I'm like, do you ever even come here? The guy next to me. And he's like, yeah, I mean, participation and being here is like 20% of our grade. And I was like, okay.

And so I got a C plus because I lost 20% or I lost 17% or so for a total lack of participation. But how do they want you to participate in these college classes? Because that's what it comes down to. No, no, but they want you to raise your hand. And so the end of every fucking class with participation points was a bunch of people going, I need to get noticed. And so they would ask like slightly variable. How do you score that?

Very varying. Because there's a teacher's aide sitting there next to the professor who has a sheet of everyone and they're keeping track of who's participating and who's not. Oh, my God. I think in every class with a little soliloquy to the professor. That's ridiculous. I wrote a poem about civics. What if you don't get picked?

Well, I think you just got to raise your hand. I don't know. Taylor, I had it worse. Someone told me that NC State's master's program didn't require the GRE. So the GRA is like SATs for master's degrees. And I was like, okay, cool. So I go and I like apply to the school. And there's like an essay and it seemed like an application.

And they said, I was in. I'm like, oh, dope. So I took two courses at a time for something like three semesters. So I had passed six master's courses out of 10, by the way. It's not a lot of classes. And they reached out to me and they're like, you know you're not in the program. right and I was like no I'm not aware and they're like didn't you see the N on your report card now this report card has like extra letters and numbers all the fuck over the place I really only cared about

the class name and the letter grade I got for it yeah but there was a stray N and they're like that means you're non-matriculated you've been taking all these courses for fun six master's degree courses for fun and uh I was like no way and they're like now look you can matriculate and normally you're allowed to bring three classes in but since we're changing the rule to four we'll just apply that to you right now and i took the deal but they made me retake two of the courses that i had already taken that's that sucks but also it like i'd still take that deal too you know what i mean like like like could just be like so you're gonna need to go apply to the school that you've taken that you've taken in past six classes with

So get on that. We might accept you, seeing that you seem to be pretty good at this. I'd get indignant. I'd be like, what? I'm a straight end student. That doesn't mean, you know, you're telling me now? Now, every time NC State calls me to ask for it later, they're like, hey, you see what'd be a pretty successful alumni of NC State. You got any money?

I make them sit through that story. That's awesome. You know, I do. I actually came into quite the little. windfall and I wasn't doing that bad before. And let me tell you a little story first though. And end the story with, and that's why

I'm buying a summer house. See ya. Like, fuck. That's, that would be infuriating. You literally lived the nightmare we're describing in no small part. That's rough. Yeah. Fuck.

School did suck. I'm so glad to never have to do that again. And you were kind of like, and you're on your own, you know, you're not like, you don't have like mommy and daddy to fall back and be like, oh, it's okay, we'll make this right. You're just out there on your own. No, that would have been so hard.

We're trying. By the time I finish, like my wife's pregnant, Colin is a baby we brought to my graduation ceremony. Oh, like, sons of bitches. It's not an easy time to do this. Was any part of you, like,

redoing the classes, like, I remember getting this one wrong, not this time. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like all the projects I got B pluses in changed to A pluses. It was easier to retake. So I think what I did is I took three at a time. And one of them wasn't a huge load. Yeah.

God, that's infuriated. I'm mad that that happened to you. That's so infuriating. It was like, well, what are you going to do? You're going to quit now? You know, like everybody knows you're going for this degree. I'm not letting anything stop me from success. No, I wouldn't quit.

I couldn't quit. I'd be so much more determined after that. I would be angry at everyone and so determined. That's such funny bullshit. You know when you see it here like a celebrity? Like Shaq is a good one where it'll be like he's worth a trillion dollars. And he'll be like, I'm going back to Rutgers to get a business administration degree. And it's like, why?

Like what is this week? Because you why don't you just text the owner of Nike? No, because he would be in these business meetings with companies like Nike. and his three or four lawyers would be sitting there and they'd be talking to Nike and he's on the edge left out of the conversation because he doesn't have the legalese or the know-how or the business sense

to interject himself into the conversation in a way that's not almost humiliating and he didn't like that. If I were him, I'd just sit there like a king and surround myself with like... What he is, money? Do you know about his degree? He got a master's shack. It was business, right? All right, my misrememberment.

I think it was business. So it would be probably a, wow, I'm so stupid. What is the business degree at a master's level called? NBA. NBA, it's what I'm going on with. Thank you. Anyway, so he calls University of Phoenix. And he says, listen, I'm not really good at this online thing.

I want you to come to me. And they said, well, you know, we do do that, but you have to have 10 people in the class. And he's like, okay, just a minute. I see this. And then he reaches around. And he finds like nine other people who want to get master's degrees for free. and now University of Phoenix comes to him and teaches him

to get an MBA thing and he just funded it all. That's all accurate. It's University of Phoenix MBA. He has two other degrees. He's got a doctorate of education from Barry University. I would be honorary.

No, I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. And in 2025, he was pursuing a master of the liberal arts at LSU. His doctoral project the duality of humor and seriousness and leadership styles was completed through coursework and your conference. 54 credit hour program. Yeah.

Good for Shaq. Could you ever see yourself doing that, Caleb, going back to school for something? That's something I just could never picture myself wanting to do. I always, I like research and like health and stuff like that. And I always try to, I have dreams about it as well where I'll be in like a lab, a laboratory, like testing stuff. and like putting like dripping a little i don't know what any of it is i'm like dripping the thing into the little petri dish uh and i have long just larping dreams where i'm a researcher and

sometimes i'll i'll imagine myself being a smart guy like that and going back to school and and actually doing something that is useful um but you don't know what it is but something smart i don't know what it is i don't know what it has i don't know i don't know if i'd actually be involved in it really. You know, I don't know a lot about any valuable contribution to any form of society, so. You have a bunch of wild animals

and, like, cattle and stuff. You could do, like, food science. We got a new cow that just fucking showed up the other day. Nice. What kind of cow is it? I want to Google and find something like. Is it the fluffy kind again? Because I know you know it's a, this one is a Coriente. This is like a roping cow.

This one's a little word. He's ugly. His name's Gartholomew. Gartholomew. Ooh, is he a big wild? Okay, I found it. Yeah. He's got real sunken hips. He's really ugly.

We called the police, and they were like, we'll ask your neighbors, but I get that nobody, you know, nobody owned up to having him, so I guess he's ours now. What color is he? He's pitch black. He's beautiful. Wait. He's alternating between ugly.

and beautiful in this story. His color is beautiful. His hips are his, his confirmation, he's really poorly taken care of, but his is his is beautiful and his horns are beautiful. You can just load him up with food, though, recover him, right? Freak out. Yep, freak out. Yeah, exactly.

Nice. What is this fundamentals of confectionary science? Yeah, I found a degree for you. Candy person. Yeah, yeah, you got a degree in candiography. This would be the only way for me to make less. money and candy. Yeah.

I was watching a thing the other day about how they grow the wafers for semiconductors out of a seed crystal of silicon. They're always talking about how China has like the 80 or 90% of the world's rare earth minerals, but they don't talk about who's got 100% of the world's top tier silicon, the stuff that's required for everything. It's us. There's a town in North Carolina who it's the only place on the planet where you can can find this silicon that has, they call it 119 silicon, which means it's 99 point and then 11 nines.

That's the purity level of silicon. Good golly. Wow. So everywhere else in the world, there's two or three other deposits. There's one in Europe and there's one, maybe in Ireland, there's one, and then there's one somewhere else in Europe. But all of those, it's not 11 nines, it's nine nines. And those extra two nines of purity are apparently very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very important when it comes to making those seed crystals. They grow those columns of silicon in these quartz.

They melt it down in these quartz crucibles that are made from the stuff at that Pinewood Place or in North Carolina or whatever it's called. I think it's those quartz crucibles or something. I watched a long video about it. It was fascinating because I'm always worried about the Chinese having all the rare earth and minerals. It just doesn't seem like a good idea. That's why I want green. Let them have that. Seems like we always like, seems like there's always a quick follow up news story where it's like the U.S. is short on cadmium. And then two weeks later, it's like new cadmium mine largest

on earth found in Salt Lake City. And it's like, we win again. We just, we're just on such a role. Did you see the biolab they found in Las Vegas? What are they doing there? Which one? They're rating the Chinese-owned biolab they found in Las Vegas, where they were testing resistant forms of malaria, HIV, and COVID viruses. They are confiscating all of the materials. There was like tons of mice.

They were testing their bio stuff on. I didn't want to say bio-weapons, but it really seems like the Chinese. You were cooking bio weapons outside Las Vegas in a secret lab, which has now been raided. If you can get away with it. Yeah. It was weird. They had a room where there was just a bunch of pangolin shitting on pigs all day. Oh, this isn't anything to do with those dogs.

Just to see what happened. That's crazy. I heard it work. No, I mean, a couple people need to get fired. We got to fire a couple people. Whoever was in charge of making sure bio-weapons bases don't pop up in Las Vegas. Like I really screwed the pooch. He's got to be fired. Yeah. It doesn't look good. Super troubling. I guess I'm glad they did find it, but now it makes me wonder, like, is there going to be any, I want to know more.

There's another one that happened in California, I believe. It was a location. It was owned by a Canadian national. And he's still in Canada. He's wanted. But there was like, they had biological samples. of it said Ebola and stuff like that on it, like that level of fear mongering. And the way that they stumbled across it is there was just a hose sticking out of the wall that wasn't up to code. And that's how they got the sort of a tip to knock on the door and try to push themselves in. And they immediately were like, oh, my God, this is a, this is a illegal bio lab, an illegal Chinese bio lab. Let me see where that one's at, because I forget. Damn. Yeah, that was. We can't be doing this multiple times. I heard about it's everywhere

in reference to this one So this one is owned by an LLC tied to the homes Let's see It's part of an ongoing federal case in California involving a biological laboratory there Eight News now investigators A Chinese citizen with potential ties to the Chinese Communist Party

David Hay faces federal charges for allegedly manufacturing and distributing They're saying misbranded medical devices at a warehouse Oh this is the one in California Oh shit So it seems like there has to be more than just these two

Yeah this is just the one in California And then there's I've been reading about it since you brought it up And it's it's just what you said The HIV some malaria a couple things And it seems like the California one and the is it Fresno Vegas the other one Vegas are very similar in like what they found there And they're also both linked to the Chinese

That's pathetic how do we have our defense that bad. Well, I mean, we caught it. What do you mean? We got them. Honestly, I disagree. Like, I think it's incredibly easy to just do something low-key inside a home. To catch it at all is almost impressive. So in, I don't know about California, but in the new one, there was a whistleblower. Someone who tipped off the police. I don't know how they called the California one. This one, it says, it says several fall deadly ill from Las Vegas biolab semicolon, tip leads FBI. police to garage that smelled like a hospital. Interesting. So it smelled clean? Does it smell sad? I mean, that's what I imagine hospitals smelling like bleach. Yeah, it's just overly clean. Chemicals and sadness. That illegal readly

bio lab. We got to shut them down. There's no way they're being friendly here. If we have like a lab in China, like outside of Beijing, there's no way we're like looking for cures for air sickness and thing. Like we're going balls to the wall. hard in the paint, looking up stuff that like we don't want to, you know, discover in Ohio. Yeah. It looks like they hired a cleaning crew and the member of the cleaning crew tipped off the police. Ooh, a little whistleblower action.

Wow. They were too cheap. Yeah, whistleblower. It implies they were on the inside. I pictured them more like maids, but I could be wrong. That's fucking scary. I like to picture the Chinese guys come into the door. It looked like a cowboy hat.

You're like, how oldie? It seems easy to pull off. You know, it's just not that hard to do something inside your own house on the down low. Yeah, of course. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah, as long as you're not, they look for things like drawing too much electricity. Heat signatures.

And heat signatures and stuff. There's now that lights are LED, it's not as easy to do that. Well, not grow lights. Yeah, they are. There are grow lights that don't give off heat. They're LED so they don't give off the same heat or take the same electricity. This is an area of expertise. They share a lot with reef tanks.

I thought that it had to be UV light for the plants. And UV light would cause. UV light LEDs do UV light. UV light is also critical for quarrels. Is that what we're working about? Like weed production? Like I was just saying like I understand how that's caught. But like if you're just,

if you're culturing malaria in your garage, who's going to know? Like, it does sound everybody who buys a peach extremely fun. My wife contracted malaria. Oh, you got a sample. I got a malaria wife.

Yep. She went to Africa, got malaria. Damn. Yep. She didn't get her malaria shot? I thought they, like,

loaded you up with something before you went. I can't, I don't know. I'd have to ask her. She just told me that. And she's got, she went on, I think,

a mission or something. I don't know. I didn't ask enough questions about it now that all I could think of was Far Cry 2. I was like, this is like Far Cry 2, what you just explained to me. Like, do you have, you know, waking nightmares

and blood diamonds? Is malaria still killing tons of people in Africa? Or do we have like enough shots over there that's kind of shut that down? I would guess there'd be a lot of rural Africans getting bit by mosquitoes that don't have access to it, probably. And there's so many Africans now,

the actual number is probably going up. It killed 95,000 people last year. 95% of all. all the world's malaria cases and deaths are in Africa. Apparently, there were 282 million malaria cases last year and 600,000 died. Whoa. That's a lot. That's a lot.

But I also thought it was deadlier than that. I guess maybe if you get it in time. Yeah, we've got treatments and stuff for it now. I'm glad we don't have that here. Malaria? Or at least, you know, if someone sneaks in with malaria, we go get the hell out of here. Yeah, I think it needs like a hot tropical climate for some reason. Do we have West Nile virus?

What is that? That's cropped up here before because I remember... It was like a decade ago. Yeah, I remember there were a few of those like weird viruses, but it seemed like if like one or two cases popped up, everybody threw up a net and got them. There's something, yeah, there's something that happened to horses a few years ago. That horses were getting from mosquitoes and people were worried,

or at least in this in the horse community. The horsey community. Yeah. I've been following this kidnapping. So if you don't know, the, the Today Show host, her mother was kidnapped, this 84-year-old granny.

I think it's Tucson, Arizona. And she's been gone for five days, and apparently she needs her medication to not be in constant pain and not die. And there's blood at the scene. The cameras have been, like, fiddled with. Something's gone on with the cameras.

And they've sent a rancet some note. They want like millions of dollars in Bitcoin sent to a, uh, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a lot of a thing, the family, like, what, like, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's, it's, a, it's, a, it's, it's, a, it's, it's, pretty sad. You know, she's it's an old grandma, you know. They clearly beat her up and kidnapped her

and she's almost certainly dead. Yeah. Is there any proof of life? That's what they want. Yeah. And this is a bad time for them to have to pay a bunch of Bitcoin because it's tanking.

It's going to take a lot more. It's going to take a lot more bitcoins to buy them off. If they sent me proof of life, the first thing I do is forward to Taylor. Like, is this AI? I can't tell. How many fingers did she have when she was captured? Did the kidnappers add one?

Have you ever seen that Mel Gibson movie Ransom where Mel Gibson is like a billionaire and his son is kidnapped and ransomed? I think I have seen that, yeah. I love that movie because it gets down toward the end and Mel Gibson goes on live television and he's got the $2 million on the table. He's like, to those who took my son, I've got the $2 million right here. This is as close as you'll ever get to it because I'll never pay a ransom for my son. Instead, I'm offering this money as a bounty on you, dead or alive.

Do you know anyone who wouldn't turn you in for $2 million? You just turned into a walking lottery ticket. So crawl, run, it won't matter. It's like, oh, that's so awesome. I told you today, if I get kidnapped, do that. what I want from y'all like don't don't pay don't pay uh how about this six hundred dollars to anyone I was like how am I going to go big on this three million dollars it's a post it with it says I owe you three million dollars this is actually making you

Jesus I'm justice for me it's an unsecured loan take a check No, that's awful. I would hate to get kidnapped. Especially as an old lady. You don't even get the idea of sitting there tied up being like, what can I do? What can I do here? Is there anything, any option breaking out slowly? Like, your old lady, you're just like, you're done.

You're just at there. Is that even the worst case? My worst case scenario is getting kidnapped as like a hot 24-year-old lady. That would probably be terrible too, because you're both going to get molested and you're going to die at 24. which is worse than dying at, you know, 70-5. I hope they're just into rape and not rape and torture. Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side. Those are your thoughts during moments like that.

I hope he's got a little dick. Being a kidnapper would be very... The best, right? You still so much power. You're going to another direction. It would be stressful because I'd be worried about some rich guy doing what you do. I'd be nervous, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. I'd be nervous of shenanigans as the kidnapper. And I'd be worried that, like, I would come down into the cell in the middle of the night and be like, what are you up to? And like, they'd be like, oh, wow, he's spooked. Like, but I would, what I would need to do is get one of those, the town style masks. Okay. Maybe not a nun, but something else spooky. And then come down and like, maybe just talk to them through an old non-digital tape recorder where I have to anticipate what they're going to say.

You're afraid they want to do this badly. Because the whole thing is to give them back. so I get money. I don't want to kill them. I want the money. And you don't want them to hear your voice because you think what? I don't know. I'm better safe and sorry, man.

You do voice, do your Indian accent. You do impressions. Come on. They could be like, it appears the Chief Wiggum has kidnapped your daughter. You're going to want to sit there tied to the radiator. It's like,

he sounded like party gumble. Then he came back. It's Indian. You adore the necessary. I'm going to get family. She gets back to the FBI and she's like, there was three of them. It was, uh, it was, uh, poo from the Simpsons. Also, Barney Gumbull, and I'm pretty sure most syslack, but it was a little shaky sometimes.

Yeah. I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but I think King of the Hill was there too. Yeah, I didn't think about that. I would just do. I would probably want to. You'd be the best kid never. I know. Here's the two million dollars.

and I'm like, are you sure? You know, I'm having fun down here together. You know, you understand me. The movie Branson that you were talking about, Kyle, that reminds me, well, it reminded me immediately of this movie on the line with Mel Gibson. Have you seen that? I haven't.

Everybody loves to Mel. You all got to watch on the line. It is the craziest. Oh, yes. Okay. Have you seen it? I haven't, but I saw the trailer. And the trailer showed so much. that I felt like I'd seen it.

Oh, dude, it's fucking insane. I'm not going to spoil it. You've seen it, Taylor? That's cool. Okay, yeah. It's got a 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is... That's because they don't like Mel. 21% don't sell it, George.

It's inverse for Mel Gibson. If it's below 50, it means it's good. If Mel Gibson's in it. The worst the rating is, the worst the critic rating is, the better the movie is when Mel Gibson's in it. I like most Mel Gibson movies. I like to, was it payback when he comes back and is just obviously getting payback against his business partner who ripped him off and his wife that ripped him off and he's just beating the shit out of everybody, killing everybody. And it's over like $50,000 or $60,000 and he's ruining.

And this millionaire is like, damn it, son, my luggage costs more than that. Is that really what this is all about? And he's like, I want my fucking money. It's just more about the principal and the dollar amount. It's a good movie. Have you seen dragged across concrete with Mel and Vince Vaughn? Yeah, yeah. You're like kind of crooked cops, not even kind of pretty fucking crooked.

Yeah. They were a little, you know, they played by their own rules. They're kind of mavericks. I like Vince Vaughn and just about everything. He's a good actor. I like Vince Vaughn. There's also the Fat Man. Mel Gibson plays Santa Claus.

I've seen that. I like that movie. I saw it when it came out and I recommended it to them. I was like, this is pretty, funny. This is pretty cool. That one moment where Walton Goggins is like, I come for you, fat man. And he's like, you think you're the first? I'm like,

oh. That was such a good response. I'm coming for you, fat man. You think you're the first? And Santa's over there with a fucking 1911 or something like that. It's funny. Yeah. And Mel Gibson has been like on T or like HGH or something for a year.

It's like 72 and he's shredded. Yeah. Yeah. He's had the same leathery. he does look like that. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen the video of the, uh,

him changing the dude's tire? No. I don't think so. There's a hilarious video of him changing this guy's tire and the guy starts recording because he's like, this is Mel Gibson. Look, Mel Gibson's changing my tire.

And he's like, can you stop recording me while changing your fucking tire, bro? Oh, here it is. He makes a murder joke, I believe at some point as well where he's like, implies he's going to kill the guy recording him. But,

well, Gibson's helping this guy out. Yeah. Mel Gibson seems like a pretty chill guy. It seems cool. I like him. I mean, he just had that one little outburst, you know. Everybody gets pushed the limit every now. And he had a few beers, you know, a few cocktails.

She was the most to blow him before the jacuzzi. He was promised. I was talking more like that thing you had with that lady cop where he called her sugar tits and randed about the Jews. Well, you know, sometimes. He's had a few moments. You have a few moments. Yeah. It's almost a pattern.

Wouldn't be. It's like, you know, it's like, I like that he didn't shut down and run away. Like Michael Richards. Michael Richards fled. He ran away. He's Michael Richards. He's Kramer. The guy who like got.

Oh, the guy who screamed the inward a bunch. Yeah. Because he like panicked. Yeah. Right. He was in the Files. He was in the Epstein files. What's better know.

That, uh, that quote, the story we're talking about was referenced in emails in the, in the Epstein files. Oh, that's actually not surprising. I saw someone say like Jerry Seinfeld is in it and I'm like, they might be talking about Yeah, that's true. No, they weren't. No, the message was like Jerry and his wife are swinging by next week. Oh, great.

Not surprising either. Let's have them down for lemonade. And that's when I was like, is Lemonade a code word? Is Jerry pissing on Puerto Rican girls or something weird? Is that what lemonade is to these sick fucks? George would never go. That's what I call lemonade. Costanza.

George would like want to go and then have like a ticket mishap. And then Kramer would be really scared. A lot of young girls over there, George. George Kistanza, didn't he have a little a meme with, there was like a fire alarm in a building or something? And he was like pushing women and children out of the way. I mean, that's actually fake news. He was clearing a path to an exit for them.

Through the children and the room. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what I heard as well. Yeah, he's outside. receiving oxygen while everyone else is being drugged to safety. Yeah, he's a classic piece of shit. George Costanza is one of my favorite characters. Oh, yeah.

I liked when I learned that he was the, I guess, placement for Larry David, right? I think you told him that, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. He is, it's Larry David. There was a time when Jason Alexander, the actor that plays George, goes to Larry David, the man who writes George's character. character, and most of Seinfeld, and it's based on it. He's like, these stories. It's ridiculous. Nothing like this has ever happened to anyone. This would never happen to someone. He's got,

it happened to me last week. It's like these petty little grievances and arguments that drive him up the wall and make him like dig into them further and just turn him into a social outcast. That's just apparently how Larry David lives his life. And like Jerry Seinfeld must have like sacrificed a lamb or something to get on that show and make it about him. Every single scene between Jerry and George or Elaine or Kramer, George Elaine and Kramer are all-star incredible actors,

hilarious in every scene. They hit their points, they're hysterical. Kramer's hard to keep up with on his own because of his physical comedy. And then Jerry is just there with this like he's like mouth is hanging open. He's like almost laughing half the time. He's playing the B.

He kind of this. And I didn't dislike that movie that much. you know, I saw it a long time ago, but I think it was my biased. The B-movie? No, Jerry wasn't an actor. The Redfield was carried in that show? Yeah, absolutely. 100%.

Like, George, when you see like a George and Jerry conversation? He's not an actor. Yeah. Yeah, I also, I thought George in particular was really good. And Elaine was good, and Kramer I thought was dog shit. But Jerry was more of the straight man oftentimes, which is funny, given that he's the comedian. I didn't process it, but I think you're on to something. Craber, I just don't appreciate physical comedy that much.

Like, Craber, what, got into tanning and had leathery skin? I was scary looking. Angry, it was so boring. No, he got into butter tanning, and he fell asleep. So the buttery scent was burnt into his flesh, and Newman was fiending for him, because parsley and, like, breadcrumbs had fallen all over his parched buttery skin. and then he's like, hold this. I didn't like it.

It's one of my comfort shows. I get always much Seinfeld. Nine times out of ten, I'm angry at physical comedy. Nine times out of ten, I see some guy pretending to trip and roll down the stairs and then across the living room

and just overact. Physical comedy is overacting in a way that is so transparently lame that I'm not into it most of the time. I mean, different strokes, you know, for physical comedy like that. I just feel like Kramer is like the goat at it.

Like the classic example of him smoking the fake cigarette, twirling it, putting the wrong side in his mouth, and then like burning himself, like drinking the whole beer while he's like just taking the rip off the sick. It's funny. I like, what do you think about prop comedy,

Woody? You know what? Oddly, I often like it a little more. Like I think it's more clever than people give it credit for. Like the Big Spoon. Instagram Big Spoon. They tell a joke and they,

And then they emerge with a carrot from a steam bot or a trunk or something. And the punchline, look, maybe I'm wrong about what's funny. I don't know. But I get a kick out of it. I also like, I think real comedians don't respect prop comedy. Ventrilla chrism can be amiss a lot. I feel like they say things that aren't one-tenth as funny as actual comedians and get laughs because of funny faces and shit.

I'm not totally into it. But, oh, chucks. If I had a big one off the top of my head, Mulvaney right now? I probably have his name wrong. Who's the guy who's like a coke addict? John Mullaney, yeah, John Mullaney. Yeah, John Mullaney. That's what I'm going for.

Yeah, yeah. He might be my favorite right now. His second special I thought was pretty good too. I think he was complaining that he wasn't the most famous person at his own intervention, which is kind of funny. I know he did him do that. I saw him live probably four or five years ago and he did those bits. And it was funny.

He wouldn't be one of my top. How about you, Caleb? Like, who's your number one? That's tough. I don't even know. It's like, who's the guy? Honestly, John Mullaney's pretty cool. I like the British guy with the dark hair,

the snarky British guy. I'm so bad with names. Oh, yeah. Boatire. He does a lot of crowd work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

I like the Australian guy. Fuck, I don't know their names, but I can hear his, here's voice in my head just like ringing away. You know what gets me about car? He has this superiority complex. Like he's smarter than everyone else in the room all the time. He's British.

I'm not there for it. I was like, get over yourself. You know what I'm a sucker for that other people might not like? Musical comedy. You put fucking comedy in his song. I'm there for that guy that had that rant about Pacabell,

Canon, and D, or whatever it is, Lockerbells Kennedy. I still watch that. It's 20 years old. Do you know who Stephen Lynch is? Yeah. No, wait. Stephen Wright? Stephen Lynch, the singing comedian? I don't think so. Oh, he's like, he's like, he's, he's one of my favorite of all time. Just if I had to say I had a favorite comedian, it'd probably be Stephen Lynch, actually, if I had to, it.

Okay. I bet I'd like it. He's very funny. I don't like music. I don't like music. a musical comedy. Like if I like watching comedy and the guy sits down on a piano, I'm like, no.

No, I'm not about to watch. It's just not my, not my jam. I feel like, too talent or what? It's just too intimidating. I'm too intimidated by their rock. Really?

No, I just don't like it. They're not quippy enough. Their joke per minute is so much lower than the other ones seemingly. It's like Red Dead Redemption versus Call Duty. And like I just, I don't know, like like Louis C.K. Like his 2000s,

comedy specials like 08, I think. Like, I think he might be the best ever. Like when he was at his beauty, Louie might be the best. You don't think so? I never liked Louis even a little. I found it to be dry and depressed. And it's just like, fucking cheer up, cheer up, you fucking millionaire piece of shit. Who's yours, Kyle?

I don't think I've got a crazy. Like, cheer up, go jerk off in front of somebody, dude. What's your problem? He will. He will. and sad and get a hair cut that's ridiculous um i don't know i doesn't have hair like yeah but he's trim those sides up a little more dignified jesus there's nobody bald by the way this you guys are uh working against statistics there's nobody who's bald yet on this podcast it's been around

for such a long time nobody's bald somebody's on this should be bald yeah i hang on that sorry kyle i interrupt you i don't know like like through the years it's been um there when I love Chappelle so much, there were so many good specials. And he's done a lot of really good specials. Most comedians have one great one. And then they're sort of diminishing returns after that as the years go on. I remember the first time I saw

I don't know which special, but it's one of the Joe Rogan specials. I was cracking the fuck up. I loved it when I watched it the first time. It's been probably 15 years ago. But at that time, that version of me loved Joe Rogan's stand-up. He was like, he was really animated and moving around.

and fucking with the stool and barking and being a monkey man and just having a good time. Is it the one where he had like really wet pits, stained pits? No, that's more recent. He was very sweaty. I do remember that one. The one before that or maybe two before that, I thought was Joe's best ever. That's what I think Joe peaked to call it 10, 12 years ago. His most recent one was really below average.

That would not have been picked up by anyone if he didn't have the podcast. Bill Burr had one that was that was really good. That whole joke about the helicopter situation, like that kills me. You know, the pilot, his passenger jumped out. He's like acting out. He's acting out what the pilot was. Over here, you'll see the hillside. It's quiet.

I think, hey, no, keep your seatbelt on. What are you? No! The guy like jumps out in suicides and he's got to like go back to base and explain this somehow. That had me cracking up. I love that one. The first time I heard it, heard it,

but it's hard to say that I have a favorite comedian because like I said, except for a few, a few of the greats. Nobody came back with those really good specials over and over. I think Carlin had several really good specials.

And I think Eddie Murphy had at least two that were just killer. The one when he's got red Michael's so fucking good. When he's got that leather red jumps song, raw. Raw. That's fucking.

and amazing. Yeah. My mom and dad used to watch, put that on VHS just like all the time. Oh, Damon Waynes. I feel like underrated comedian. There is a, there's a special from the early 2000s where he talks about Bob Dolomite and like Bill Clinton, if he was a pimp. And it's just that, that, my dad and mom had that as well, those two specials, one from Eddie

Murphy and one from Damon Waynes and that's like those two I forgot about I've seen I'm remembering all the stuff now that we're talking about it those those guys like Ron White's Ron White's um um like blue collar comedy tour a bit is very good like like his third of that the whole call me they call me Tater salad thing yeah I did it for me when I heard it like oh in like 2004 I was I was rolling yeah I was Larry it was amazing I was too because like 2004 that's when I remember seeing like Dane Cook for the first time I was like in middle school last year in middle school. And Dane Cook, like, he was the cool guy at school.

Like, he was the comedian, everybody liked. I like to get robbed by his brother, Dane Cook. Am I crazy? Yeah. Some sort of investment thing. His brother, like, stole his money. His manager or something. Did you guys have a million or do you guys like?

Shane Gillis is the king right now. For sure. Like, yeah, he's funny. I forgot. I mean, he's competing against, like, the best Chris Rock there ever was. I don't know that he's best all time for me, but best right now. also the meta has changed and Shane Gillis seems pretty good in every situation and by that I mean like it used to be all about the stand-up special and you cash it and you hope that the special leads to a TV show or whatever now it's about podcasts and he can just roll conversationally top of the so funny he's good his podcast is funnier than any of his special was really good it's a really strong special he does such a good job of of not

pissing off the left or right while making fun of the left and the right that it's it's hard to beat him uh he does a really good job at that he's great i see like most comedians choose one of the other and part of their bit is alienating the other side it drop supporters here tonight oh oh like all right dude calm down like you need to be wary of those types of comedians on either side because they play for claptor they're not like playing to like make you laugh at the joke they're playing to like say something that they know. They're like, oh, how's it going, San Diego? And then they say something they know they're going to like.

And then you hear as many claps as you do last. Yeah. And it's like, that's lazy. I don't like that. I would love to see like someone get up there and kind of piss them off and then win them back over, just like the Bill Burr, Philadelphia video from probably 2006. Classic.

Dude, as a Philly fan, I like that one. It's a master class. He's a genuine sports fan. So he was able to just pull out every third. read from the Philadelphia You one bridge haven't town Like I'm like

I'm like I'm not even true I was like I would have really had more than one bridge Wow Boston people really I think there's Supremic

Do you guys like the one-liner comedians like Like the best of those guys Like Stephen Wright or Mitch Headberg I love those guys They're hilarious Yeah I love Mitch Heedberg's hilarious

I haven't heard I have one-liner banners Anthony Jeselnick does something similar to that, but I don't think he's, you know, he can be very funny, but I don't think he's in the same league as Stephen Ryder or Mitch Headberg. For me, for me, Anthony Jelzlnick is like too, it's such a dumb thing to say, but he's too smart, I think. And he's too just like his, everything he says is just like sharp. And he just feels like he's operating like a little far ahead of where my brain is.

And not, not that he's trying to be extremely intelligent. I'm not like really trying to say that necessarily. It's just everything he says. is just so jarring that it's almost hard to it doesn't it's like not really something that I find that hilarious I'm more of like a dumb comedian like a Shane Gillis or uh you know I like that type of stuff yeah it depends what mood I'm in but I also I would say I lean towards dumb he knows that yeah yeah just like just being retarded being silly that's always fine but that's why Stephen right was ready like the whole joke would be like I'm bored spot remover on my dog now he's gone

it was like that's funny it's funny you say you like don't to me because I consider all of them all of them are so smart but I see what you're coming from Shane Gillis never tries to act

like the smartest guy in the room something I use car of yeah yeah he's like he's like you guys know this with me he'll tell like a historical story and make it funny and it's like something we all know

and everybody is in on it he's very much a inclusive he's very inclusive with the audience and that's what you need A little more inclusivity with our dumb. Exactly.

Dude, I've been going on a, I went on a bit of a rabbit hole. Like accidentally, my YouTube algorithm, I created a new YouTube account, and I watched one PCA video from a long time ago, and it's been feeding me these video, like I'll just have it be playing.

Perfect. And I've been going down. I'm on the, I'm on the, I've re-ignited my, my lore, my lore for PCA. I have a question. I didn't say those things.

that's AI. I have a question. How long do you guys plan on doing this show? Do you know? So the wheels fall off. Just keep going. The fucking wheels fall off.

Like it's fun to do this. Like just joke around and that's fair. So tell the truth. How often is it fun? Because I think it's fun nine times out of ten. I might even say 19 out of 20.

I'll tell you those. There's some shows where I'm like, yeah you'll get to the other side i've done thousands of these at this point right and maybe 1500 and uh but sometimes like all right you know you can do this you can do this it'll be fine you'll yeah i feel the same way most time i'm having fun with it but if i start to worry that we're on a topic that the audience doesn't like for too long then i'll start not having fun where i'm like

fuck we've been talking about politics for how long shit people are going to hate this they're going to be like these retarded silly billies again yeah i was thinking about last week we'll leave a negative review on Apple, Apple Podcasts. You don't want that. There are some. Positive review. There's some negative reviews. This show.

We need some. Most of them are about you, Taylor. Oh, son of a bitch. Well, you know, whatever keeps him watching. Did you joke that? Yeah, that's real. How could they not hate me the most? That's P.A.

Tradition. Apple's more, Apple's more like 2008 Democrat. All right? Okay. They don't like Taylor's new. They don't like this, they don't like this new thing he's got going on. This swap. Well, they can buckle up.

They've seen all those tattoos he's gotten lately. He's got lightning bolts all over his back. He's got one of those big Jerusalem crosses. It's a little threatening. It's a little threatening. Defense secretary. Yeah. Yeah, that's like the cross with, you know,

the cross creates four quadrants, and then you put another cross in each of the four quadrants. He insists that 88 is because he's an Eric Lindros fan, but I have my suspicions. I don't believe him. I don't believe him. It's, that's the same reason I have that swastika on my chest, but there's a, a very thin red line across it. Yeah.

That shows, I don't like this. I say, this isn't for me, fellas. No thanks. Loud and proud about that. Yeah, I went out the way back, though. When's Woody's Lab happening? October, of course. Yeah.

I was like 16 years ago. You really should do the Woody's lap. Like, you could, if you just did one a month, make it happen, dude. You know, like, I've got ideas. You could, there's all sorts of making it happen. You do have ideas. I had these ideas and I mentioned it to Kyle and he's like,

oh, hear me out. And, like, what if you put a potato on a potato gun, shot out of the cross the yard, threw a potato grader, had that drop into a deep friar. I'm like, that's genius. I wonder it works. And then you film it in high speed. Yeah.

No, when it turns out, what it does is create. Fire. A lot of fire. Turns out it just kills the squirrel. I got to meet the whole Raleigh Fire Department. You know, so that made a good end to the video. Yeah. That'd be great. Now that goes back to like every now and then someone would,

we could contact about like Cheetos or like, or Ida would be doing an ad buy. And they're like, or Ida wants to know what a, what a Russian who blows up used cars can do for them. And I'm like, it's rather limited. Like ride a pitch for a potato chip company. And it's like, well, there's chips and guns basically. And like come up this whole nonsense bit.

It's like, why are you throwing this to me? But that's where they. Well, that's what that's where that idea came from initially. The idea of shooting with a, shooting a potato from a potato gun through the French fry chopper and then like catching it in high speed going into the oil. You can shoot through a soccer net. Well, I won't chop it up, though. It does.

It does. Yeah. What? Soccer net? Yeah. Or one of those baseball ones you throw the baseball and it bounces the baseball back. Okay. That's what it was.

But we did that as, how did you launch the Tater? We used to use the pink hairspray from Walmart upside down. Yeah. It's like the special kind or whatever. I don't know. They used to tell me that. I don't know. And, yeah.

It was like a, I don't know, it was probably, it was a, not an extremely well-built potato gun because it was built by a bunch of eight-year-olds. But, yeah, I mean, you can, you can launch it to one of this base, the little, the return baseball net things. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. It gets just explodes when it hits that, though. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not all of it. It's not perfect for sure, but.

Potato guns are way more fun and dangerous than people give them credit for. You can do some fucking damage with a tater gun, especially if you got a good one. Me and my dad would make some pretty good one. And, I mean, they had recoil. It's like, oh, yeah, it's a potato. Yeah. You, you, we hooked up a, a, the same sort of cylinder to a, uh, air compressor and had like a, a valve release and use that a little while. That was pretty cool.

Did you see, did you ever watch Punkin Chunkin back in the day on Discovery Channel? Oh, yeah. That was one of the class. So they had the, it was, for those you don't know, um, it was a yearly competition. to launch pumpkins as far as you could. And there were different classes. So there was like a Trebujet class or a catapult class. There was a pressurized gun class where they had like a big pressure tank and then a barrel.

And all that once they pull a lever and put all that pressurized air through. And then there was a weird class like a centrifugal class where you got the whole thing spinning. And you kept slowly upping the RPMs until this thing is like screaming. And it's a big arm that's spinning over it. on an axi and then they release at the right time and they would launch them like half a mile or something like that pretty regularly somebody died though they would have these guys on ATVs riding out to measure the distance and then one of the ATV riders like wrecked and either killed themselves or injured themselves so severely that they sued the whole pumpkin chunk and event and like bankrupted

it and ended the whole thing it had nothing to do with the pumpkin gun no just fell off the ATV that's my understanding. Yeah. It's an old story, though. It could have been something else, but that's how it sucks. Ruin the fun for everyone. We launched this from a Trebyshe.

How far did it go? Probably 100 yards, 120 yards. Nice. Where do you find a below average size penis? A cervix ponder. Some old school, some old school PGA lore. A,

Amazon, I used my stimulus check. Sick. And here, let me show you a video of it really quick. How much was that? It was about 700 bucks. Okay. I don't know what I expected either.

I thought it'd be low three digits. It looked heavy when he was holding that. It must be a quality of business. I got to find the video. It was like low three digits. I told you, Taylor, I accident. I ordered a giant dildo the other day. And it went to my old address.

And I'm getting, I'm getting. updated like shipping information they're like we're almost to your house and I'm like that ain't my house anymore we're coming and I'm like do they know when they're fucking with me like this is I'm like this is good for some reason I'm like embarrassed even though I'm not like

they'll never know it's me like and they don't know me or anything at this house you've sent plenty of stuff to their house at this point I have sent a lot of shit to their house by not accident sometimes the app reverts if I get a new phone or something and it's like it's fucked but yeah luckily they either either nobody

lives there yet or Doc Johnson delivery is so good that they were like you're not Kyle well doc you can't have the Magnum Girt 3,000 then and they like contacted me and they got it to where it was supposed to go is that what it was really called? No I just made that up

I want to know what it was that is a good brand name they make the sister Fister Doc Johnson makes his sister Fister it's like a big silicone hand like made it but it's like this they do this number at the end.

Oh yeah. Is sister just because it rhymed? I think so, yeah. Oh, it might be the bitch fist. I think it's the bitch fist. Oh, a little, like a beginner's fist. There's a sex shop. No, like one for for bitches.

Oh, for bitches. Yeah. There's a, I think that's a gay toy or gay themed. I'm trying to find this fucking Tribunei issue video. Where is that? Shisa. How much does it weigh? Because it looks like it weighs 100 pounds.

This dick, the dicky is a, about 75 pounds just over. Oh, here we go. Mr. Dicky. That's a lot. It is. Yeah, it's pretty heavy. Oh, shit. And the Trebyshe is the real fucking deal, man.

We built, we spent, I don't know if you'll be able to see that. That's a guy. That's a guy right there. How much did the Trebizier cost in lumber? It was about $10,000 total in parts. and we spent about a week on it. I looked at building one once. Yeah, it was for a YouTube video.

I looked at building one once and it was going to be like $10,000 and I'm like, that applies a lot of ammunition. We're not building a trapejeet because I know it's going to sit down here and rot eventually. Like we're not going to come down here and enjoy our trabuge every day. You don't. And believe me, you use it once. And then I sold the land that it was on. And the guy was like, I'll give you about it, her bucks for that tributchea.

I was like, a fucking deal, dude. I'm not ever going to use it. If I made a $10,000 trebushet that shot a $700 dildo and uploaded it to YouTube, I would lose $10,630. Here's the video. I don't know if you can see this or I can send it to you or something to put it in. But let's see.

Shit, there we go. This is one of the launches. Can you hold it closer to the camera? Oh, it just focused a little. What if you get real close? What happens? Oh, look at it. Oh, my God.

End over end? Yeah. And it left like a, we had to tune it. It took us days to tune it because we had to, you have to like adjust the beam that the actual levers on. It left a fucking mark in the ground, like a crater. It was so cool. I'll send this video to whoever so you can actually put it on screen. Yes, send it to go to Zach.

Have you ever seen a bowling ball mortar? Yes. So bowling ball mortars. They stick so far on the ground, they just have to give up sometimes. We're like, we'll just get another bowling ball. If the ground's really soft. So basically it's in a setylene tank chopped in half and turned upside down. And you fill the base of it up with lead so it's nice and heavy and shock absorbing.

And you put it on a cart. And then you have like a firing chamber where you pour like an ounce to two ounces of black powder. And it will launch a bowling ball a quarter of a mile on like, That's insane. A couple pennies worth of black powder. Let me see if I can find. I'm pretty sure I've got a video. That seems cheaper than a cock trebice.

The cock trebicee was a huge waste of money. It was. Were you doing like math? Are you like? Yeah, there's a simulator online where you can have like all the angles and the weight and counterweight and everything. It's all, we use that little app for it. So does it not work that great for the for non-dick projectiles?

Oh no, it worked. It worked even better. So that that, I was on. It was on 100 acres and it was on an eight acre field and it was off the road. So there was, I don't know, probably 250 yards until the wood line. And the dick made it about halfway, a little under halfway. One of the times we shot it, there's like 20 videos about shooting it or launching it rather. And then we launched, we created a sling and launched bowling balls.

Those went into the woods. But if we could have, if we could have like really spent maybe a week on it, really tuning it, we could have, we could have done something pretty impressive. But it was just so much work and fucking dangerous. And yeah, it was cool. And not the biggest ROI. No, yeah, almost negative, really. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you ever, I think we broke even. Have you seen those videos where like the bowling ball hits a tree in the forest and like the tree just explodes? Yes. Do you get any of those? No. Hucking them? No, it wasn't that

quite that powerful. Skip forward to when I shoot the thing. When's FPS FPS Russia coming back? When you posted again? Well, I'm going to have to do something about that felony. As soon as the pardon comes in. Did you miss that board? That didn't go exactly to plan.

Our bowling ball missed the target by about four or five feet, at least above a 300. that way cut it clean in half the GoPro was thrown free from the bowling ball we think from centrifugal force alone it was completely destroyed and so it was the footage right but this is going to be better that's so scary oh it's super safe for reels like not even being like well that was absolutely ridiculous as you can see that bowling ball punch that bowling ball punch that bowling ball goes

plus a fourth that's way down there. You can see in the high-speed footage, the bowling balls go in the perfect speed for our cameras. Didn't even slow down. The bowling balls going right through. There's a lot of power there because it's like a 12-pound bowling ball. A lot of mass moving very fast. Is there a part where I shoot like a pig or something?

That was impressive. Did you make Jeremy build these? I built this. I built this. I mean, Jeremy pour the molten lead into it because it looked like he was going to give you, cancer immediately though well that went as you can see the bowling ball went through door number one through the cab of the vehicle and outdoor number two

once again continuing was that car from a previous video it looks yeah no no that had nothing to try that so that was pretty impressive now we put the bowling ball more inside the car i really think we need it was a bitch to get that thing in there it weighs 200 pounds I bet. And I bet those doors don't open well. They don't. Listen. You can hear the holes.

Yeah. So that was pretty successful. I think maybe I've got a career in autobotty customization, maybe. We had a nice sunroof back here. It's a bit jagged, but we'll sand those edges down. I think we did a good job here. Let's do one more thing. I think we need to heat things up a notch.

Okay, so one last. I don't remember what we did We got to get fucking Donnie on the case with a pardon I'm 80% sure I set some of this field on fire Yeah over there in the left That whole hillside Yeah, I somehow made a dragon's breath around

I don't know what this is I think I may have stuck The gasoline jugging side of it? I literally don't know what that was. You're just throwing random shit in there? You put whatever you want in there. You can fill it up with whole bags of golf balls. Whatever that I'll tell you. You can put anything you on your motor better.

That was more like it. If you guys enjoyed the video and as always, have nice there we go. Yeah, Polyball mortar is sick. You can obviously arc it up as high as you want and it'll, like, it'll go a quarter of a mile. Can you still make it? Oh, yeah, I still got one. Not a felony? I got that one.

Yeah, the rules don't totally make sense. Yeah. It's like a revolutionary war canon classification type thing. It's like an, that's a reproduction of an antique mortar essentially, and it's black powder. So it doesn't apply to like the same way that like I can have flame throwers as a fellow. Like they're a, because, you know, because that's five. That content is like shorts content before, obviously it was in a much longer form. but that is like peak quality shorts content

that would do extremely well if someone did that. There's like a huge subset of guntubers on YouTube right now that do like short stuff and it's also it's all very boring. Yeah, every, I never wanted there to be downtime or boringness. Like the dialogue has to be quick and snappy and there needs to be a joke every time you talk, even if it's not that funny. And then another thing needs to blow up.

And then the next thing that blows up needs to be bigger. And then the next thing that blows up needs to be bigger. like throughout the video. Start with a bang and end with a bigger bang. Who filmed it? That one, Richard Ryan maybe. That might be Richard Ryan down with me. I'm like 80% sure Richard, Richard did all that.

Like he's handling both cameras and the high speed probably. Richard's the best. I remember after that I was like, what do I owe you? And I'm thinking it was going to be like $10,000 or $12,000. It's nothing, man. I'm just happy to help out. Rich is always the best. Rich is always the best.

I asked earlier, I think you were away, how long do you think PKK will go on for, Kyle? Oh, forever. You know, it's continually like as much, it's always as much fun as the last time I feel like. Like they said, occasionally, it's it can eat, like for us or for me, it's like, man, I'm annoyed by this topic. I want to do another thing. But, but like, I always like just coming here and keeping up with the guys. And I like our, like, fan base. We've got a discord full of, patrons or whatever that are fans. It's fun interacting with them. And the show is just always, you know, more and more profitable and more fun. And I don't know, I can't see a reason to quit. I enjoy it too much. It's cool. It's been going on for a long time. I like that too. Yeah. I like that we've been going for so long. Joe Rogan started like two or three years. Maybe he started in like the early, like 06 or 07 or 08 or something like that.

But other than him, I don't think there's that was 2009. Let's see. I don't know. I thought I was older than Rogans, but maybe I'm crazy. Oh, Logan. 09. December 09. Oh, shucks.

Okay. That is early. Yeah, but this is like one of the longest running things that I've ever done. It is the longest thing that I've ever been a part of in any kind of way, professional or like socially or anything. I've never been part of a club or an organization or. I've never even kept the same car insurance company for this long. So it's like, you know, I mean, it's a long haul.

What is it? 13 years? Maybe longer than that. I bet we started in like 11, maybe. I bet we started. We might have started in 10. 10 or 11. So yeah, like 15 years.

Wow. And like I was saying, I said it a show or two ago, I'm so proud that none of us turned out to be fucking creeps or pedophiles. Obviously, I had my marijuana arrest. But that's about as, as, like, tawdry as it gets around here. You know what I mean? Like, all these Minecraft YouTubers always turn out to be kiddie diddlers or hitting up 16-year-old girls in their DMs and shit.

And it's like, that's not us. I had a whole Minecraft arc with no children diddled. Kind of a big deal in the industry. That's like a speed run or something. There should be, there should be an award given to guys like you. Not a single child was diddled that I know of, you know. You didn't pay those kids to keep quiet, but that doesn't count. Yeah.

That doesn't count. NDAs are binding. They still are. No, I really am, like, appreciative of that. That's like, because we see that all the time and like, not just whatever our community even is anymore, but just on YouTube and online and with podcasters, streamers and stuff like that, it's like, Jesus Christ, are all these people pedophiles? Is everybody a kid fucker?

It's become very invoked to rape children in the 21st century somehow, or at least we're hearing about it a lot more now. Every time I hear a new thing in the Epstein files, I'm just like, why isn't anything happening right now? Why aren't they like, if this were a movie, it would be the part where like the armed men come in and start dragging people away while everyone's slow collapse, but nothing's happening.

I heard that Microsoft stock dipped. Oh, no. Why? It's crazy. I don't know. Is he now the third guy that ran into the 80s? Yeah. In my head, I'm like, Trump should be cooked. J.D. Vant should be president right now. How is he still in power? Like, with all the corruption, the bribes, the raping of women, the raping of children, what are we doing here? How is this guy still the leader in the free world? Like, yeah. And it's not like my world gets a whole lot better when J.D. Vance is president. And it's not like suddenly he'll implement Woody's policies, but he should be president. Yeah. Yeah. I think that like, we still have a smoking gun that would make me 100% sure, but he's mentioned

in those Epstein files 38,000 times. And the second most mentioned person is mentioned roughly 2,500 times. And then it drops to like 1,500 and a thousand and the hundreds below that. He's the main topic of interest or person of interest in those files. And then when they, when, I think her name's Caitlin Clark, or, something like that from CNN. She's got a very angular face. She's pretty... Colins. Kateley Clark is the basketball player.

Thank you, obviously. Caitlin Collins, when she's like, sir, what about these Epstein files? Are we still talking about that? I heard that what did come out, actually vindicated me. It absolved me. Yeah. It absolved me. And that's what I...

I heard that it made me look great. And you're a very ugly person. I never seen you smile. Ten years. I've been seeing you here. Never seen you smile. And frankly, you're a sick person.

Yeah, he's embarrassed by you. And he, like, dresses her down. And I'm, I'm watching it at home. And I'm like,

why doesn't she fucking say, sir, we all think you're a pedophile. That's why I'm asking. She said, well, I'm asking about the Epstein files, which I thought was a pretty good reply.

Like, you can't hear her very well. He's talking over her and he's the president. He's got the big bike. She's like, I'm talking about the Epstein files. Like, I'm supposed to bring in humor.

Like, what do you want? You know, but. Yeah. It may be funny to you, sir, because you seem to have gotten away with pedophilia and rape and potentially murder, according to what's in the files. I don't know who your information is, who's telling you that you've been vindicated in these files, but it's quite the opposite, sir. Much of America believes that you are a ghoul. It's a kind of a count dracon type character.

Trump's name is in the Epstein files, 38,000 times they say, which is more than Harry Potter's name is in all seven books combined. Yeah, I saw that. You saw that, I was just about to bring that up. Yeah. That's the, see, that's the kind of data point I want to be brought to the president. That's true. Are you aware that your name is mentioned more times in the Epstein Files than Harry Potter's is? He'd spin it.

He'd spin it. He's been in the series. They can't keep me out of their mouth. Or some shit. They love me. The children do, yeah. Yeah. I can't spin this.

They love me. And I hate that no one is holding his feet to the fire because I feel like we used to do that. When Clinton got caught lying about that blowjob, they fucking questioned his ass. They fucking drug him over the coals. We want to know what kind of cigar you stuck in her pussy, Mr. President. What brand was it? Did you moisten it first before you inserted it? Like we had to know the nitty gritty details of this man.

And I was a kid at the time. I was seven. but I still remember that like they drugged him through those hearings. It was on the front page of every paper. President, fucking caught in sex scandal, Monica Lewinsky. We're talking about jism at like the like at the table, whether it washes out or it can be detected by UV light. These are conversations of having it seven.

Very awkward. And we're just not getting that. It's just business as usual. It's not like anyone's demanding Kamala is president. It should be J.D. Vance. I think it should be J.D. Vance too. I think that there's enough. like evidence that if anything

if nothing else I think it just makes the office of the presidency look bad that you keep someone with that much evidence against them in there it's like there's a lot of shit here sir there's a whole fucking wiki page of just rape allegations for

and then I saw and yesterday at Caitlin Clark and who's my Tulsi Gabbard or at the accusing Obama of essentially treason and saying they're investigating Obama for treason and they're laying out the case against him. And they're like, are we talking about charging the president with treason?

And she's like, that's a question for Christy Nome. And it's like, fuck, what are they doing? Like, are they going to try to arrest? It's a question for her. Then probably no. Well, she's the, you know, the, she just feels kind of. What is she? The, the, the, the chief lawyer, law officer.

What's her name? What are they calling? Ernie General. That person, yeah. I like yours better. The chief lawyer. person? The chief lawyer. She speaks in parcel tongue.

Yeah. Remember that law firm early on that buckled to Trump and like represented him for free? It turns out he's in the Epstein files. He just got outed and like retired from the board. He's no longer with that law firm. But now we know why he buckled

because they had dirt on him. Did you see there's a letter there's this one email from a woman to Jeffrey Epstein and she's like my 15 year old daughter is having five friends over this weekend. You should come by. Like there's ghoulish shit in there left and right.

There's another one where oh, they released all the photos from his mansion in New York. His mansion in New York was seven floors, 21,000 square feet in like Manhattan or something, Epstein's. It's ridiculously creepy and oddly decorated.

Yeah. And they found a bunch more like birthday letters. One of them's from Woody Allen. Of course. Also a pedophile. He's involved? Of course he's involved. I'm not doing Joe Rogan talking about the Epstein files. Because it's fucking sick.

He's a fucking sick shit dirtbag scum asshole. At this point, he's like, you know, these women, they were making business deals. These are just ladies. They knew what they were getting into. That's what Joe Rogan is just nodding along as he and his guest advanced this narrative. Was the guest an Epstein chef or something like? that? I mean, I just saw it. I think they got private chef on there or something like that.

I read that and I saw a little bit of the interview, but I didn't know who the man was. He was interviewing. I didn't recognize it. They got to investigate all these. No, I don't think it's a chef. It's a totally bald dude. Yeah, that guy. Basically, they were soft peddling the whole thing. It was very much like when we had who's the subway pedophile. Jared. Oh, Jared. Well, we had Jared Fogel's friend on, and he starts going like, yeah, those girls, you know, they were out to make money and to take advantage of Jared. And those ladies of the night, and I'm like, ladies of the night. And I start Googling because I don't know what the victims look like in the Jared Fogles case. There are these mousy little glasses wearing brown-haired 13 and 14-year-old girls who look like they just want someone to give them some attention. They are victims. And this guy's going on.

about ladies of the night who took payment. And that's what Joe Rogan is doing right now with the biggest platform perhaps the world has ever seen. And he's pedaling that. That's crazy. That's wild. That's insane.

I feel like I've seen him talking about it with Tim Dillon like pretty handedly in the opposite direction. Some of what they said is just plain factual. You know, what the guy was sort of saying and what he was trying to do was he was saying, I only saw him with young legal women And also some of the people who are implicated in this are from countries and jurisdictions where the age of consent is far, far lower, you know, 15 or 16.

And he's making that case to Joe. And Joe's just like, right, right. Right, right. Where is it that 13-year-olds give toothy blow jobs, then get beaten by Donald Trump and that's okay? Well, nowhere. Do you really want to know? Because I got a guy. Well, you don't have a guy anymore.

I think they got it. Unless he's still living in. So he hasn't been answering my emails lately, but I'm sure. His his, his, Epstein's account, his Fortnite account was active in 2023. Really? And he was apparently cracked as well. Yeah, that's why I keep seeing it. I don't know.

Yeah, it's unbelievable, though. It's unbelievable, though, that people, that, like, there's nobody's going to be arrested. I feel like, right? I agree. Everything's got to come crashing down. Will in Europe. The Europeans. They're already starting.

Dude, Norway's falling apart. Fucking Norway is literally falling apart right now. The son, or I'm going to butcher this, some royalty son has like multiple counts of rape that they're dealing with. The princess of Norway was active with Epstein for a way longer time. Like Norway, I've had a couple of my audience members who are Norwegian who have reached out and have been like, dude, you have to do a very very long. video about this Norway, we're like about to abolish, uh, the royalty in Norway because of

everybody like they just, there's no, they're all implicated. There's no point of representation whatsoever. It's not bread and circus and, you know, there's no benefit to it. It's not a distraction anymore, uh, in any positive way. It's completely negative. Um, so I feel like you're right, Kylo, Europe is going to, uh, crack down, but people are definitely going to like get fired and removed from boards and stuff like that and removed from like their class of people. But I think there's going to be some legal stuff that will go down, which, which if anything, like maybe we'll get some more light shined on this thing. Shown?

Shown upon this thing. Via like a European court. Hopefully. But I don't know. I'm not sure if this is just my politics infused in this. but Trump's mentions in the Epstein files are like the United States military budget, right? Trumping the next 10 combined. And we're like, well, I mean, I heard the Norwegian princess's cousin is having a really rough time right now.

And I'm like, but he's an FBI informant, Woody. He's an FBI informant. I don't know about that one. Speaker of the House had Mike Johnson. He's best friend. Best friend for like decades. At the very kindest, he absolutely knew all this and was cool with it. I can't imagine that he wouldn't know it.

This would be like me not knowing that Woody likes to play Arc Raiders, eat cashews, and watch burnt peanut with his wife. Like if I didn't know those things, then I don't know Woody. I hope we get actual investigations and actual arrests, but I hear what you're saying, Caleb, where a lot of these people, I worry, are going to get off because they're going to be like... This is just emails. You don't have video or anything, so you can't... We don't know what they have.

There's still... There's millions more. There's millions more. There's no, no, not even the redactions from what they've released. There are millions of more files that have yet to be released. Like, more than have... The majority hasn't been released of what they have. Like, who knows what's in there.

I've seen them cataloging, like, videos that... They just describe what the video is. They're like threesome with... Jeffrey Epstein, like two underage girls, like naming what the video content that they had in the files or had. It's so good. It's so good. That it's like almost like, it's like unbelievable for normal people to read stuff like this and be like, really? They don't buy soccer teams.

They like molest people on islands. And the Zorro Ranch, have you heard about his Zorro Ranch? That was like an area in, I think New Mexico, a ranch where he also, Epstein hosted these parties. He won the lottery twice. he personally won the lottery twice once for $80 million once for $80 million That's not that's not realistic

It must be in the multi-trillions And something else that people aren't talking about We have to lock up everybody implicated Or that you can prove obviously We're a ranch is beautiful We also need to like hold a lot of these people's feet to the fire Who were compromised and be like What decisions did you make for our country

because of this. What wars were we involved in? What did we do? What were we funding? Well, if you, I'm making a video net, well, probably not next week because it'd take a little while. But when I, there's a, there's obviously the concept of the Fed and like all, you know, we all know that sort of bankers in the beginning of the 20th century sold America out or whatever. People say, Central Banks, all the wars, everything, everything fell apart over the last 100 years, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ninety seven percent of all of our currency was created in the, ledger from ledgers um it didn't exist that's what fractional reserve banking is and that's how people like geoffrey epstein have made all their money and people like less wexner and like all these

evil behind the scene well i don't know i shouldn't say evil i guess but these extremely powerful people they pull strings in a way that doesn't make any sense it's completely imaginary and but it's also the implication it has an implication for every single citizen i think feel like the biggest change will come from everybody realizing that, even though it's like still a basis of a cliche, like everybody knows that the banks control everything. Everybody knows that the fucking rich people behind it or whatever the fuck. Like there's all this thing and they just want to make you forget, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Everybody already knows that. Most people don't give a fuck. Hopefully that this will like put a face to it, hopefully and like realize it. And it becomes a day-to-day part of everybody's lives for like the next two years. if everybody doesn't shut the fuck up about it. They need a smoking gun. There has to be something more, I feel like, though. There have to be pictures.

There have to be videos, and they're going to need those to nail these guys to the wall. I'm surprised that the amount of files and videos that are out there are out there. So in my mind, Trump has had people around the clock just scrubbing these files,

redacting his name, et cetera, et cetera. They're very incompetent. Why is there so much left? Why didn't someone Press the big delete key. There must be something hard about deleting it that makes it worse than not deleting it. So here's what I imagine the problem is. You have to trust the people that you're having doing the redactions because you have to say to this person,

hey, delete all that stuff that makes me look like a pedophile. The person doing the redactions has to be like a very trusted person because like this presidency ain't going to last forever. So I feel like you're limited to your number of people that you can trust. and then because trusting them is the primary selection factor, they also might not be that competent at doing this. And that's why we see these errors in their editing technique because they released child porn. There's child porn like fully released in these files.

Underage nude victims are exposed, released by the government in these files. On the other hand, they did the opposite. So they're trying to block the name Donald and Don T. But Don T, if you leave the space out, is don't. So the word don't is fucking censored. The word don't, because don't is Don't T, abbreviated. And somebody made a mistake. And so you can tell what's being hidden.

Donald Trump's name is being hidden. Yeah. It looks like don't has 12,000 results. No, in a specific file. Oh, okay. In one time they deleted don't. And he's like, ah, what happened was. as they were going for Don T

and that was sort of collateral damage. Yeah, here's what happened. There's that one email that's like, it's a message to Jeffrey Epstein and it's like that torture video was great. Thanks a lot. And they sent that guy's name. Yeah, they censored that fucking guy's name.

Why are we protecting the guy who's thanking Jeffrey Epstein for receiving torture videos? Why is he being protected from on high by the highest people in government? Because they're black naming us and they have plenary authority. They have plenary authority.

You know who's asking for torture videos. Yeah. Do you hear him like in one of his emails, Epstein was like, as you know, I work for the Rothschild family. It's like, I represent them. I represent them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? That was one of those families that like, if you mentioned in 2016, people would be like, got a lot of this coke. And now, I know, dude. Everything's real. It's all real. It's all real. It's one of the first books. Seems like it was real now. Looking at all this year. They're, they're actively using the terms. And, and the establishment. of whatever the establishment is has spent a long time trying to make that not seem real,

which is really strange. But the creature of Jekyll Island, have you guys ever read that book? No. Oh, yeah, that's where they have those secret meetings. I've been to Jekyll Island on a vacation before. It's a shit town. Yeah. So Jekyll Island, that's when like J.P. Morgan and all the cronies in the beginning,

the start of the 20th century went to create an, ruin America. And then it's just like a complete and total funneled downward into like this is the, it's not the end of America is the ideal. It's the end of like this thing. It's over for them. I feel like. That's how I feel about it.

But there's got to be arrests first, obviously. You need a smoking gun. Like I said, you need that guy to get the hidden camera into the eyes wide shut meeting where all of a sudden everybody's eating baby flesh and raping people to death and worshiping some sort of upside down cross with bleeding eyes. and then they all whip their hoods off

and we get to see half of Congress. Like, you've got to have something like that before anything happens. And even then, like it, I keep going back to what I would expect to happen in a movie. And already, if this were a movie, again, I would have expected J.D. Vance to be like, that's enough from you, sir.

Like, I need him to, like, slap him. Like, I need, if J.D. Vance did that, that's your president for the next day, eight years. If he came in there and he was like, our president's a pedophile. I whipped his ass like five minutes ago. And that's when they like pulled Donald out of the back, dragging him and he's all beaten up.

I was like whooped his ass a few minutes ago. Couldn't take it anymore. I'm president now. What is the rule? Would he be able to beat, let's say Vance becomes president today? Could he get 11 years of presidency? Yes, because you can only win twice. And he hasn't won his president, right?

So you could take over and then run. I thought that might be the case. Zach agrees with you. I think that's how it works. Yeah. Somebody asks GROC. We've got to ask CHAPT or GROC guys. We can't ask ROC immediately.

We can't even a neuron of independent. All right. All right. I will remove the water supply from one family, one minute. I don't know how to think fast. I just hate that they do it. They do those bribes in front of our face. And it's so in our face.

Like that thing with Amazon, the Melania movie. It's just like such a, such a clear, like, crazy. Pay to play. It's so funny. $70 million, $35 million production and $35 million promotion.

And that movie has made $7 million, I think. And I don't believe that. I don't know how that could make $7 million. Markiplier's movie is swapping it in the box office. Iron run all day. Markiplier, the fucking YouTuber, made a $3 million dollar movie,

got his fans to get theaters to put it and show it on their screens. He's showing on thousands of screens right now, and he's made well over $20 million gross at the box office. It makes me proud that YouTubers are dominating Hollywood and professional boxing. Absolutely. Dominating. That's as far as we'll look into it.

Completely. That's tremendous. It turns out. It's called Iron Lung. If you're VP and you become president, you have to serve less than two years, and then you can run. twice. So if it were to happen today,

it might in a way, like, limit J.D. Vance, because he has more than two years left. But if it were to happen and say after January, I guess, you know, almost 11 months from now, yeah, then he could do it longer. Would you vote for J.D. Vance? If he literally did what I described,

like he came out and told everyone he was the president and then he just whipped Donald Trump's ass. What if he saw him? That would be, that would be pretty hard. Yeah, I would like that. That would be pretty awesome. And like, as they're dragging Donald away, he tries to, like, pipe up again. And J.D. like, bitch, slaps and shut up, you said, you old son of a bitch.

Then he turns to old glory and salutes. Oh my God. And rockets, firebom. You have potato guns. Giant Fattelis is launched from catapults. Exactly. I worked for the VP. I could sell it. Did you get in line? I'd create

a slideshow for JD. I'd show him some pictures of what's her name, Usha, Asha, you know, as first lady, he'd be sold. He'd get on board. Show him pictures of the fucking Erica Kirk is first lady. It's the direction he's going. I think his wife looks better than Erica Kirk. Eric Kirk has like,

Erica Kirk has crazy lady eyes. And those videos that came out of her like celebrating few weeks after his death over 200 grand worth of merch are sick. You know when they like for concerts, they have that like platform under the stage that like launches you up. Yeah, like SCD. her husband died like nine hours ago and she's like let me hear it by the way I forgive him

because that's what Jesus would do by the glitter pants and the pyrotechnics are going off it's like you've had one meal since he was brutally assassinated and you're like holding sparklers guys she she had to carry somebody had to carry the torch guys people agree with him carry a torch oh it's the little gaudy meme that's what I want to see I want to see I want to see him I do the little yachtie mean on or do you know that one? No.

No. Is it with a Yachti? A little Yachti. This guy doesn't know how it little Yachti is. It's this. There you go. I'm sure you've seen it. It's better with sound.

It probably is better with sound. Oh. It's burnt peanut has him doing this dance. He shows it all the time. I never knew what it was from until now. Yeah.

I got a little war. This to me is the burnt peanut dance, although clearly it's mom. He didn't invent it. Oh, that's a little gaudy. That meme is used all the time to show somebody who's just like fucking killing it. They're coming out to their getting their flowers. But that crap, imagine what that feels like to like dance out through there where everybody fucking cheering for you.

Like I think it's great. It got it feel great. Wings got a little bit of that. I always give him the cross on that, on that walkout, whether it's to the boxing match when he was rapping that's a cool moment I had to feel good. He does a great job.

His walkout was better than his and Harleys were the two best by far. Yeah. Wings for who and what he is, that was a 10 out of 10. That was a professional grade walkout. And I always say like, what are you guys going to have him back on?

You are just representing the fans. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Yeah. It's okay. I think he's burned too many bridges. Like he's been so awful. Like he just makes up lies at whole cloth.

Like one thing we never do is say anything about him that isn't 100% true. Right. But he'll like make up like bad things about us that are just complete lies sometimes. Like he'll just get a new friend of him now. He's got a new friend of him. But I have an answer for you. I asked him if he was interested call it four months ago. I don't know.

Whenever I was live streaming. I live streamed. I played a game with wings and we beat it like co-op. And in there, basically, I told him the door was out. I asked him if you'd be interested. He said no and I didn't push it. The chat did. Chat kept going and going and going, but I took no for an answer.

So I didn't know the door was closed on our side, but I guess it's closed on both sides. I mean, I don't care. You could have him on if you wanted. He made more stuff up about you than it did me. Dude, yes. If you're fucking over it. Dude, I'm kind of, he wasn't very good to me when we played that game co-op. And it was like, like, I go through this cycle where he's awful to me.

And then I get over it. And then we do it again. And as we're like playing chats like cycles like cycles getting shorter every time, isn't it, Woody? And I'm like, fuck. They're opening my eyes. Like, he's talking mad. shit about me and like I don't know like I thought I was being cool I was being nice I was

respectful I'm so much better to him than he is to me and at some point I have to stop being stupid and guard myself so yeah ban anyone who says you got owned order him some Wendy's yeah he's not a very good friend to me um he talks shit about us all the time and at some point I have to be more protective of myself and ourself. Yeah, no, I definitely get it. I was more so, you know, just that it would be good content pretty much. It would.

Right? That's what it's all about. Dude. It's about it. It's such good content. I could even put aside my better judgment for it, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, I'd be fine.

Yeah. There's, I'm sure. I like wings the guy. When I've hung out with wings, like there have been brief moments of like, This guy's okay, you know, but then he'll do a thing. He's like some sort of, he's not like any other person I've met. Like he'll be okay for a while and you'll be like, this guy's not so bad. He's getting, people give this guy a hard time for no reason.

And then he's like, whoa. And then he exposed that he'll just do something awful or say something awful. It's bizarre. It's, it's, it's, he'll randomly insult you to your face for no reason. Yeah, but he should all over lock and load. and his argument, by the way, was that those penis enlargement pills don't work. They're not penis enlargement pills.

He takes him in every day and he looks. He just knows nothing and talk shit. He's never even seen an ad read. Dispectable. They don't make your penis bigger. He's in a way right. We're not claiming it. We're not claiming it does.

It's a volume. Discussing and proletful. And perlessence. Okay? That's what we're going here. We guarantee. Okay. Really loud.

Yeah. You know, you didn't mention it, but the propulsion improves as well. That's more of an ab related thing. I mean, you got to do a little flex, get your kegles on point, you know? Is it? I swear it's a volume related thing, too. You know, there's dribbles and there's fire hoses. You know, every now and then a porno, the guy comes and it's like, it just oozes out all lazily.

And I'm like, does that even feel good? Like, like, not film the first come shot? What happened here? You're not even really coming. It's just like this, and he's like,

and it's just leaking. He's like a melting. Her face is mostly uncovered. I'm not buying your, this. But I mean, at a certain point, it does become work,

right? We should find a porn star. We should find a male porn star to sponsor. We should, we should find a male story. We should. Send him some lock and load swag, send him a bunch of pills.

That's a good idea. And get him busted on. Let's pick a guy who we can make a good before and after, right? Like some guy who has a disappointing facial and will be like, you're our guy. We can fix your problem. All right, Captain, ooze. All right, you're going to have to start blasted bitches. We're going to get cut out the industry, all right?

You need to lock and load. All right? I love this idea. I don't like that at all. I want to say ropes. You guys give me the prime of porn. We could. Yeah.

There's very little porn influencer products out right now. Well, they're mostly sex toys, right? Like the guys, the girls mold their policies. Well, I sell one of those. Caleb bought it, my molded cock. Yeah, the cervix ponder. Yeah, he put it on a tribut shee. He may have seen it right here beside me.

I mean, it could be a good idea, Kyle. I always thought we should do bobbleheads, and yours should be so big. It overwhelms the spring. and it's just leaning all the way over to the side. It just arrives broken every time. It's not broken per se, but it just won't do the bobblehead thing. It just lays over the side because we can't support the... My steel is like twice as thick.

It doesn't do this. It just rotates 360 like an owl. Yeah, it just spins around. Yeah. You know like this? Like a need of. The hardest working neck and showbiz right there. It is.

I don't have to do any of X work. That's a good idea, Kyle. A bobblehead idea. And I wish there were some lock and load specific swag. And I would also be down, I thought you could do novelty dildos. Like, we don't have to actually mold our penises, but we would lie and say we did. And like one of them would obviously be way too big and one of them would be way too small. And I just thought, and one would be black.

And that would be the... I want to be both small and black. That would be me. A polypover! You don't make sure we have something for everyone. Yeah, yeah. You do in business. But, oh, no, that would be fun.

One of us should do are bussy, though. Like, it would be two dicks and a pussy. That would be the, that would be the trick. No, I'll do mine. Yeah, you mold your butt. Yeah, and your bum. Vietnamese jungle landscape? Why are they selling this?

Well, we're definitely not, you're definitely not going to be the busy mold. I'm going to let you know right now. That's kind of hemorrhoids and... Wow. It comes with hair. I feel sorry for your future wife. If you know,

not trim enough back there and keeping that, keeping the thing spick and spam. I know Woody and I are smooth butt club, all right? We look out for our ladies. All right. We don't, no dingleberries. Dingleberry? The very idea disgust me. I bet you, I bet you're, I bet you're dingling right now. You're a little sick today? I bet you didn't wipe thoroughly. I bet you're digging right. I bet you did you do that extra exploratory wipe where you don't expect to find anything, but one time's out of ten you do. I bet you didn't, you know, like, ah, we'll skip that one. Call me Magellan with the exploratory wipe because I'm a lot. all about it. Like, I'll get the first inch of a finger up there to like circumnavigate. Oh,

you're, you're circumnavigate the anus, the anus. You're penetrating. But that would be funny. I've got a toothbrush. Oh, yeah. Oh, ooh, that wouldn't be, you have to be extra soft. It's electric. Do you have a bidet? I had a bidet. Uh, and the house I'm about to move into has a bidet. Okay. We'll have a new home. You're moving? Yeah, we just, just closed yesterday. Nice. So are you changing, like, I know you really like your property. Are you moving off of it? Well, I'll still work here. And my grandparents, they, they live in a house close by, and they're going to move into the house I live in currently when we move out. And then I will drive to work and visit them every single day. I'll have lunch. I'm trying not to. Eight minutes away. Okay. I'll just call first. No, we've got, we have like a lot of people.

Like it's kind of a commune, not not that people live here, but there's always people working here and like driving through. It's really, I don't know, it's cool. We've had a couple people who shouldn't have been here show up and it hasn't, none of it's been a problem whatsoever. It's been cool. Like they were just nice and respectful. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a, it's a different kind of vibe I think that you get in Texas anyways. people were very, very nice down here. They've been extremely friendly to us. So it's cool. Yeah. I've had a lot of people visit my houses the last two over time. One of them, dude, I didn't even know it. But there was a kid who sat outside my previous house in the cul-de-sac for like 18 minutes,

trying to build up the courage to knock on the door and say hello. And he never did. But he later became friends with my daughter. And he's like been over since then and stuff. but he was like a super fan, but too nervous to say hello, but now I've met him. Once I stood at someone's run to over 15 minutes, it's like, I got a knock. Like, this is a tic. You guys spread a good word.

He wasn't at the door. He was in the car in the cul-de-sac with his parents. He was young. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So wild. Oh, man. They drove him to a strange man's house that he met up, that he's, that he's viewed on the internet.

Like, like, who are those? Those people. Like imagine doing that your kids like, hey, this guy, uh, Bluey Keplewy, he makes some sick ass gaming videos and a big fan.

Could you drive me to his cul-de-sac? I found it online. Sure. He was launching in October. Come on, honey. You want to go for a ride? We're going to, what was it again?

Ah, who cares? Uh-da-da-da-da-da. Like, what are they thinking? I mean, that is wild. Grabbed him and drug him inside, started molesting him before they could do anything. Yeah.

Do you guys get letters? Uh, I've got, you don't get letters? This was like years ago when I said if I, if something happened, I'd eat a whole onion. And for a while, people were sending onions to my house. And they were mostly rotten by the time they got here. I would see like a round container with this very bulbous that I didn't order.

And I'm like, it's a lot of onions. They're very. And so I did. None were even usable. When I used to have that PO box, I would get stuff. Like I sent me a ballistic knife that time. Like I had that ballistic knife for years. Yeah.

They're not cheap. I used to always show that to people. It was one of my, like, I don't know what happened to it. Like, I had doubt it was confiscated. It might have been, it might have been confiscated in one of the raids. But it had the hardest spring to, it was spring loaded. It wasn't CO2. But you had to like load it halfway and then mush it into the wall with like most of your body weight

and strength to get it to like lock into place. And then you had a button to launch that blade at people. It was cool. I guess that there's a lot. This one's unopened. But I have one I read. recently. Not shit.

Mostly. I thought it was nearby. They're super nice. Like way nicer than I deserve. Like a common pattern is like you provided the blueprint for the kind of man I'd like to become. And it's like, no,

I'm about that good. Yeah. So. I've never got any shit like that. Really? Nice. No. Yeah.

What a great. Yeah. I don't think I, Yeah. That's such a good compliment. That's a really, that's a high level compliment. Yeah. You should frame those up there back to the next to your little plaque.

If anybody said anything that nice about me, I'd say, I'd hang on to it. I'd never forget that shit. Nobody's going to say anything that nice about us, Kyle. No. The person has amazing handwriting. Could be a girl. Is it a guy? I wrote that letter, Woody.

I'm going to be real with you. You're saying that is like a 39, almost 40 year old man. Someday I hope to be more like. You're like the Eminem song. Hey man. This one isn't one you'd want to read. It's like my name is this and I'm from here. Like, okay.

It's not a good show topic. Well, who knows? Maybe we say his information and our loving audience sends him a groundswell of wonderful letters. Onions. Yeah. He sent him onions. old rotten onions It's not a good show

Did you eat that onion? You ate the onion, right? I cubed it up and I ate the onion. Yes. It was really unpleasant. It was a white onion. It was acrid. I love onions.

I don't remember why. I don't remember why I lost. I remember why I think maybe you and I had a bet. I think maybe you and I had a bet and I said, I think it was my idea for you to eat the onion. I think it was. Yeah.

He was in for like seven weeks. I didn't eat the onion. And then they started showing up at the house pretty regularly and I'm like I got to like I randomly like made the steaks that one of us had to eat a whole raw onion or something like that on some silly bet we had about something. I don't remember what it was now. It wasn't fun. No, onions are best enjoyed with other things I discovered.

Alone, the onion. My little brother used to like take bites of onions when he was a kid. Like he would just go get them from the kitchen and just eat them like an apple. That's the ice. I was psychotic. You did that? Did you also eat like plain butter? Because he'd carve up bits of butter and just wolf it down.

I didn't do butter. But onions, yeah. Onions and potatoes. Ooh, a raw potato. And yeah, potatoes are pretty good. It's like the crunch. Something about the crunch is really nice. You do have some interesting.

My younger brother. He would just eat butter out of the fridge and not even put it on anything. Yeah, never done that. Yeah. Does he have a normal height to weight ratio? His entire life, yes. He was the most athletic of us and he never had a weight problem. This ended when he was like seven.

I knew one guy who ate butter. He was in his 50s. He was in a wheelchair. He was incredibly heavy and he died early. I'm glad your brother stopped eating butter. That is the more common outcome. You die extremely. Yeah.

I didn't eat anything super. weird like that as a kid I don't think I just eat a lot of things. Paper. Do you read paper? I think probably when I was a kid in school because some other kid did it. But yeah, that's not very exciting. You kind of immediately is just pulpy and you swallow it down. Yeah.

It's fun later though when it's in your poop. I never turned around. That happened. You never turned around. That tells a lot of that you, be honest. I wasn't, I wasn't looking as a little kid. Do you look now? if it seems like if I was at war yeah yeah I'll take a peek and be like yeah how long time it

work toilet paper normally what's that you don't look at your toilet paper normally maybe oh no no I know I thought he meant like after you're done in the in the pot look at your your shit to make sure yeah yeah yeah worms I mean yeah checking for worms things like seeing like man my whatever the amount of peanuts I ate last night is more that my body can digest. You're a tuber. Yeah. You'll be like, oh, fuck. That's the whole one.

Lagoon. I thought they were tubers. Yeah. I'll take a peek. I'm not at war too often. I have to like really be off the rails eating for me to have a horrible, horrible poop. Yeah, I'm not a, uh, I get, I get like once a week. I'll get like stomach cramps, kind of.

It's always connected to a migraine. I'll have a migraine. My stomach will hurt. I'll have like one weird shit. but I've never had like that as an adult living on my own I've never had the like sweating heart racing like the last time that that happened to me I ate an entire bag of Mama Zuma's Habanero chips or something like the Route 66 brand chips they're these it's like a red bag with a really hot bitch on it and I ate a whole bag of that and before I finished eating it I could

and feel it going through my body. And I was like, oh, fuck. I've got to get home. And that was, that was terrible. That was fucking terrible. I stayed up all night. The shitting. Yeah.

All night shit is terrible. And it burned. That never happens to me. I will have a loose stool. But it's like, yeah, life cereal. I knew what I was doing when I signed up for this. Any pencil like stools, Woody? Pencil.

Yeah. I mean, no, I'm never. Blasted. You know, number two. Number two. No, two. Yo, Taekondola. Well, played.

I'm here for it. That was pretty good. I think that's a kind of constipation, right? When you get like a pencil kind of stool? The pencil is a potential red flag for polyps, colon polyps. So like a very thin, long poop? Yes, yes. I'm safe.

I'm safe. I've never had that. Yeah. You rock, you rock sure SM7Bs. Did, sometimes I'll, yeah, sure, SM7Bs. sometimes sometimes uh i don't remember who was where no it's uh there's matt mccusker where he was talking about poop and he's like you guys ever get you know shrimp baskets like a shrimp oh yeah right of little little fellas in there nuggets usually that's an indicator

i'm like and something's not how did he come up with that that's a that's very very funny that's so yeah jesus i guess i'll take i'll take a look if i think it's out of control So, like, the horse bucket is, like, if I have, like, a really bad shit and I get, like, splashback and you just paint the bowl. And you're like, you're like, doing those preliminary wipes because, like, your hole is clean. And then you're like, let's check the side of the ass. And it's like, my God, the altitude. Right. That this achieved on my side ass is remarkable.

Exactly. But that's also pretty rare. Fan, it's the, uh, the slit experiment. But instead of electrons, it's shit. Yeah. We agree in quantum mechanics to understand how this shit got on my elbow. Oh, dude, this was like a couple years ago. I was losing weight and like filling my diet late at night with like,

I was eating a whole container of mini cucumbers because it's like this is no calories. And I like the way they taste. And so I was eating just like eight of them a night. And then like you unironically shit like a far. Squared. Yeah, you squirt, dude. It's like it's a lot of liquid and it's a lot of mostly water. of, uh, yeah, like what comes out is it looks like fucking like a cow patty almost. There's nothing to it.

What's interesting, if, if, uh, this is not disgusting or funny, really, this is just awesome. Uh, one of the things I've been doing is taking the English seedless cucumbers, the long, thin ones, um, and the small ones that you've got that you're talking about. And I'll fucking slice them up on a little, uh, mandolin or whatever those things are called. And I'll take a spoonful of Greek yogurt in the bowl and then apple cider or sorry, balsamic vinegar,

apple cider vinegar, olive oil and then some like depends. It'll be Greek. Sometimes. You make it Zizi. Yeah. Yeah,

it's Zizi, but also you can hit it with like soy sauce and make it just straight up Chinese flavors. And it's incredible. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible.

It's like I've been eating that every day with like a slice of meat or some form of protein. And it's like the fastest thing. It feels like a hack. It's, It's so, it's, it's, it's affected me so deeply that I'm talking about it on PGA. I love Zaziki.

I love, like, like, Greek yogurt box. Chicken and Zaziki sauce. Yeah, I love Zizi. Tezziakai. Like, it's one of the lowest calorie, uh, sauces as long as you use a low calorie Greek yogurt. And now you can get Greek yogurt that is flavored until almost is locale. It's like five calories more a serving. Yeah, but I don't want flavored yogurt. I want it to be just plain yogurt.

I get sick of regular plain yogurt. Greek yogurt reasonably quick. I'm usually mixing it with something that I'm flavoring it or I'm just wanting that like tart acidic kind of like twang that it gives to curries and stuff. Yeah. I made Thai curry last night and I put a dollop of Greek yogurt in there. It was fucking delicious.

I've been making curry all week. Malfoof. My grandfather made me stuffed cabbage the other day. Lebanese stuffed cabbage. And that was like, it's so good. I want to hire my grandparents to cook for me.

Is that wrong? Is that wrong? They're not that old. They're like in their mid-70s. I don't think so. I think that that's fine. Well, are they pretty ambulatory?

They're getting around. Yeah, they're getting around. Okay. Well, it's not cool. I mean, it depends. Are you going to be like a slave driver?

Like grandma. I'll go the other way and say it is cool. I bet they're all about ROI. You're a business guy. Yeah. Well, yeah, you mean, You pay them minimum wage, obviously.

And if they don't take the jobs, accuse them of not loving you. What is the lowest you can get paid in the state of Texas is what they're going to get paid? The absolute minimum. Then I might skim a little off the top there. Yeah. Maybe they're not citizens. Seven 25 still? Yeah, dude, it's fuck.

Jesus, it's 725 in Texas. Nobody gets, well, I shouldn't say nobody gets paid that. But like, you go work at how, you get a job at Hobby Law. and it's like 18 bucks an hour, at least to where I live. Okay. Yeah, like McDonald's pays 18 bucks an hour. Yeah, pretty solid local economy. People fuss about the minimum wage, but I feel like the minimum wage is almost outdated. That's not the floor on salaries anymore. Yeah, agreed. 11 to 16 an hour for McDonald's workers in Texas. Looks like you start at 14. Generally, I know, this from 1170 to 15.90 an hour with some locations in areas like El Paso,

averaging 1170 an hour. I've seen, at least in the local area from personal experience, I know vet techs that would make like $12 an hour with a degree and people who, you know, on their off season, getting whatever, trying to find a job for college, working at Hobby Lobby or McDonald's or a coffee shop or something making like 15 to 18 at just a fucking coffee shop with temp work, which is just so, it's just really,

bizarre. Is it possible vet tech's a highly desirable job? I don't know. So the downside of having to euthanize animals gets to a lot of people. Yeah, high suicide rate. Maybe going in at it, like, because if you offered me

McDonald's and vet tech without having done either, I would think vet tech is a job. I'd enjoy a lot more. I've almost never met a veterinarian. With a lot more phoenix poop and shit. Killing the dogs would be pretty soul draining. Very Yeah, yeah, I hate that so much.

Our dog is, our dog looks, she's getting a liver biopsy and not an MRI. Before the MRI, they're going to do a like sonogram? What's the thing they put on their belly, the little like thing? Ultrasound. Yeah, I think they're going to do an ultrasound, I think, and a liver biopsy and a liver biopsy this week. And depending on how that turns out, there might be an MRI the next week. They're still trying to diagnose what's wrong with her and what's damage.

her liver. They think it might be hepatitis. That's one of the things on the table now. I don't know if that's an issue. I don't know if you get hepatitis. I didn't either. Which dog is this? Risky gay sex. She's a risky lesbian gay sex, apparently. No, it's a, I've got three dogs. I've got the little Pomeranian Murphy.

I've got the big Bernie doodle, Toby. And this is Memphis, my girlfriend's dog, who's like a five, six-year-old like sort of a German shepherd mix. That's what her head is shaped like. But because of whatever she has, she's gotten very overweight and her back is flat now in a comical kind of way where you can put a cup on her. She's like a lot of her.

Like when she lays on her back, she doesn't like tip either way. She's just, she's just solid like a table in there square. But, you know, worried she's dying. Where'd you got to put that fucking dog down? So it hasn't been that. that expensive. I think the recent medical stuff has been like sub 2,000, but MRI is $900. So that may be around the corner. Yeah. I feel like my dogs aren't growing fast enough,

but I think it's just a ratio thing. Like when they gained two pounds in a week and they went from 10 to 12, I was like, oh my gosh, these dogs grow 20% a week. And now it's like 1%. Do you want to see them? I could probably go get them. I always want to see your dogs. He's so fucking big and goofy. You had them. Yeah, Great Danes. That's right. You had like the two for one deal last time I was on. You went to get a Great Dane and then someone who was going to buy one of the males backed out.

So there was a boy available, which is my preference. And nice. Look at that guy. What a sweetheart. I'm going to get my dogs. It'll take like a minute. I'll be right back. Grab him.

While he's doing, Kyle, will you do the blue chew? To not off in the middle of it and upset the wonderful people of blue chew. Yeah, let me find the. I put it in the side right there, the Google Doc. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex, guys. Shouldn't you always be at your best? 2025 is...

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Everyone you're having sex with is going to like it because they're going to be like, wow, he really cares for me. He never used to busts like this. And you can even hide it. I've heard people say, I hide it. And they just think I'm just busting because it feels better. Or you can tell them that you're interested in busting more. It doesn't matter. There's no wrong play. Get lock and load. Get protein powders, energy drinks, weight loss supplements, dream supplements. Anything over at derrick's gorilla mind.com and use code PkA.80 at 10% off. Also, the merch is PKK for 10% off. All linked below. Those dogs are three times as big as they were last time. Hello. They, uh, they were sleeping.

So they kind of protested. They didn't want to walk up the stairs. That's so adorable. They're like, we don't operate after 8 p.m. Based on the licking being allowed, I have to infer the one behind you as the poop eater. No, this one's the poop eater.

Ah! Attack you happen again. Oh, no. Oh, the good pit of cillin. Not the fish take shit. We'll flee. He'll flee. He'll leave.

I'm going to get cholera now. Now I have hepatitis. I call cholera from my dog. So when you come closer? You know, I had a good idea for solving the Epstein thing. Yeah. We kind of, we're going to skip a little due process. But everyone who's implicated at all, we send them all to little St. James

for now. They're removed from any positions. Then we replace them and then everyone implicated is in some sort of very brutal Mr. Beast-esque but brutal game. I like that. Survival. And then whoever gets out of it gets life in prison

instead of hanged on the White House law. How about that? That's pretty good. That's pretty sound. Hear me out. Hear me out. Can I invest? All of them put their hand on a child and whoever takes their hand or keeps their hand on the longest wins. He gets And they get the child.

So like a really horrible hands on a hard body competition. I want to see. And also something important is there will be loot crates, boxes, bows, arrows, things like that around for them to find. Hunger Games. Yeah, it'll be Hunger Games-esque. And we force them to do it. And also when we take them there, like, maybe we give them an extra arrow or something. If we're like, all right, you have to fill this out and say, who blackmailed you specifically and what you did because of it.

And you earn a golden arrow for your fight. And they're like, sounds like a plan. I'll do it. It was Israel and massabred retard. Who doesn't know that? Who seriously? Erad Barack Ehud. It was my friend, Ehud.

Yeah, he hood. A lot of people say he's a bad guy. I tend to agree. Like that guy. I thought he understood me. Turns out not. Turns out not. Yeah, that could be exciting.

We would televise it, obviously. It would take the place of whatever. Because the Super Bowl halftime shows have been getting less and less. Terrible. You've been getting dismal. Terrible. We're saying nuts. What was last years?

Who the fuck? fuck knows. I don't even know. If it were good, we'd know. And it wasn't good. So we don't. And so we replaced that with this. On the jungle, you see the war. You see it happening. You see fucking Woody Allen like aiming a blow dart at Donald Trump across the way. And then like, sling of, you have a sling. Come on. Come on. Stick with the thing. Yeah, you're right. I'm trying to think. What would make this biblical for us. Yeah, that would be good. You get a sling. You get arrows. No guns. We want it to be a little, you know, they are being punished. I want to be brutal.

I've long said. And if it turns out they're innocent, we say are bad, but we had to know. I just feel like Woody talks about how it's cool to live in the time where the largest animal that's ever lived lives. I feel like some of the things we missed out on, one of the things that we don't live in the time of is gladatorial arenas to the death. Because I think with all the entertainment we have, I'm sitting at a fucking $10,000 entertainment machine right now with fucking who'sy what's it's everywhere. but I can't watch somebody fight to the death. I can't just walk down to the corner arena like any Roman could in any province of the empire

and watch two guys duke it out to the death dressed up like basically superheroes of their time, right? They were themed. It would be like having one guy, you know, dress up is one of a Superman and one is Batman. This guy's got throwing stars and this guy's really strong or whatever. I would love for us to have some sort of a gladiatorial arena system where we wouldn't feel pity for them.

I don't want to do criminals necessarily, unless it's like the worst of the worst. But isn't that who you didn't want to pity them? Like you'd want like brutal rapists. I don't want some guy who would pay his child support to be, you know, fighting dressed up as an instrument out there. Murderers.

The worst of the worst. And if they volunteer, that's a good call too. If they think they got what it takes to cut the monster. I think this idea has legs. I'll text in a way. Let's get it. But also like,

I know you've read about this too. so many of the deaths in the Colosseum were just like prisoners that they were letting their all stars like feast on it was actually semi rare they'd have like oh it uh you know Thrax versus you know Maximus and they'd be like okay well both of these guys are big sellers and so we know no matter what happens the emperor is going to be like all right let them let them live this guy puts asses in seats well not just that like it was that one guy would give up and you would always accept that. Like there would be there would be a tap out where you

know yeah exactly you hold the two fingers up and ask for mercy and it would always be given like like not being given. There was a reason in the gladiator movie everybody was like shocked the mercy isn't being approved or whatever and those guys were professional athletes of their day. You know they had the best of the best of everything

they were going to include it in the the gladiator movie but they thought it was too ridiculous for audiences to believe that it was a real thing and that was that a gladiator at the time had an olive oil sponsorship. He was sponsored by an olive oil company. His image was on the bottles of olive oil. This is Maximus's fucking big time olive oil.

And then, you know, you know what I mean? Like the idea of that being a thing a thousand years ago or whatever does seem bonkers. But it was real. I wish we could have that. I would watch people fight to the death as long as everybody was a willing participant. Or, like you said, the best part of the gladiatorial thing, you know, you'd have like your professional athletes fighting each other.

but you don't want Tom Brady to die this week. So he begs for mercy. Like, oh, that's an L on his record. But he comes back and fights another day. But with prisoners that we don't like, you imagine feeding the worst of the worst pedophiles to John Jones with a battle axe. Yeah.

John Jones with a battle axe against Harvey Weinstein. Oh, my fucking God. I will buy that pay per view every Saturday night. I'll plunk down that $85 whatever you want. Harvey Weinstein? Yeah. I would be worried that the axe would stick in him like a beast of Nurgle. Then it would be tough times for him. Beast of Nureole.

Like in the Jumbotron, so you would know that these people deserve to get it, it'd be like, this is Steve Smith. He murdered his entire family and then killed two cops who came to investigate. And it's like, all right, John Jones, this motherfucker. Get him, John! Get him, John! That'd be fun. I would absolutely watch that. It would feel like justice. and it would be entertaining, and you have your favorite guy, right?

Imagine John Cena's part of his thing. I'd be a bit John Cena guy, all right? I'm a big fan of his anyway. I think he's a good actor. And I also feel like he can swing the hell out of a battle axe. And I'd be scary. And I'd want it to be swords and staves and battle axes, clubs, maybe a chainsaw. Ooh, maybe I'm picturing Brock Lesnar over and over.

But in like thick armor, I feel like he would be as broad as the, like a barn standing there. And then you would have, like, in order to make it fair. they'd be like, right, right, now it's Brock Lesnar versus the 48 most notorious rapists in in America. Do we arm the rapists? No, no, they get, what's something horrible? I think the rapist should be armed. Well, but with what?

Something that can't actually hurt Brock Lesnar because we're trying to kill them. I'm thinking like Little League wooden baseball bats. Those nerd guns? No, no, no. I want them to have a shot at this. Wait, you mean the little bats, like the promotional ones that you get at games? bigger than that. And those break right away, as I'm sure you know.

Everybody breaks them when they get home. I know that. But I'm talking about like a little leaguers wooden bat, like a little like three, you know, a little bat. Brock Lesnar's going to lose that, though. 48 guys with a baseball bat versus him? You can't, you can't give him 48. 48 random guys will beat Brock Lesnar a hundred times out of 100 anyway.

Yeah. If they're coordinated. How many regular street guys do you think it would take to beat Brock Lesnar in an unarmed combat. I'm going to say four or five. This is, this is, I'm having a, I'm having a transcendental moment. This is like watching PCA. This is such a PKK thing. It's endlessly fascinating. You have to arm and armor him. Zach, show me the, from Gladiator, the one guy, the champion they brought back to face off against Maximus. He's got like this sick ass face plate. Oh yeah. That guy rules. I was sad he died. I thought he.

Didn't a regular person beat two little people or four little people? Taylor, I feel like you saw this anime fight. He beat too little. I think it wasn't it that strong man who fought two or three midgets? He fought two. He talked to extreme. No, no, I think that's what I remember. I don't recall the,

I'm not claiming you're wrong, only that that was destined to go that way, right? Like, somehow I think Brock Lesnar can beat more than four adults. I don't think so. I would say five is when he starts having trouble if they're regular-sized guys because he's going to destroy the first two that come in. If we consider that the arena and the game at play, if like obviously in this alternate reality,

these four guys have seen the games before. They know what's going down. They might have seen a Brock Lezzer fight slash execution before. If any of us have brains in the back, we're going, look, we have to attack him together or we die one by one and you know what he does to the last guy. You know what he does to the last guy? You're bringing up a good point because my head,

you know where my mind is? The Jack Reacher movie, the one that starred Tom Cruise, And there's a fight scene where they come out of the bar and he's like, it's 5V1. And Tom Cruise's version of Reacher is like, it's 3B1. It's 3B1. I beat the first guy. I take on an enthusiastic wigman or two and then the others run away, which is exactly how it plays out. And that's where I am on the Brock Lesnar thing, right?

The first guy to approach him just gets Hulk smashed. And now it's 3V1. Do three people beat Brock? Presner, he could pick a guy up and pile drive him, simultaneously ignoring two, and now it's 2 v1. I like our chances. I honestly, I like the four of our chances at taking Brock Lesnar on. I think especially the Brock Lesnar of today.

The four of us of today can beat Brock Lesnar to death. All we need is a little bit of forethought, a little bit of planning, and we've all got to come in covering up and coming in low and moving and moving fast, and he's going to pick one of us to go after. If he throws a punch, he's an idiot. He might try to wrap one of us up and sort of do some kind of a slam. We're all going to grab him and start dragging him to the ground. And I just feel like he's not that strong.

He's not four man strong. We weigh a thousand pounds almost. Yeah, I'm a thousand pounds of us. And then add you guys in. Isn't there something wrong with his midsection? like derviculitis or something? Yeah, yeah.

Is that something we can target? He's got to target his face. Man, no, this guy's gonna fuck us up, dude. This guy's a problem. Kyle, I mean, I'm 150 pounds. I'm gonna need you to be my eye weasel.

And now what that means is why me, Woody, and Taylor are taking a lot for the team. Like, one of us has a leg, but we're eating knees to the face. One of us is, One of us is beaten unconscious and the other is holding onto an arm as well as we can. And this guy's on his back.

You have to be getting in his eye sockets. That's like a swirl trying to get an A-C-E-L. You got a blind Brock Lesnar. Don't let him like to do that. Don't get any fingers in his mouth because he's going to nip him right off. Nip him right off. Dude, he gets fingers in my mouth? Done.

Dunzo. Flip those off. You see, the problem with this strategy, Kyle, is I don't trust you not to push me into Brock Lesner. this again like this is the sort of scenario where where we know what happens if we wanted to time this if we work together he's going to kill us all unless we all like like i'll die for the team if i if it need be i'll run in first i'm happy with that at least then i know he's finished me quickly because my greatest fear the greatest fear is you're the last man left he's killed he's killed Woody, Taylor, and Caleb.

And it's just me there, there now. And now he can take his time and play with his food. Oh, he's going to be like, I'm going to pop your little head. Oh, you'll wish he popped your little head. He's going to disassemble you like a Lego set and fuck your ass in front of 50,000 people. Oh, my fuck it you. You love me, faggot. Mike, Mike Tyson.

Yeah, it's Mike Tyson. That version of Mike Tyson is one of the. scariest to him. I would much rather face Brock Lesnar than that version of Mike Tyson because as he stated, he will rape me. Mike Tyson is older than Lesnar, right? I'm talking about that version of Mike Tyson,

the one that press conference threatening to rape that reporter. That male reporter, mind you. Yeah, I would rather fight Brock Lesnar than. It wouldn't last a minute in my world. Fuckin my will. So scary. The formatting's ruined, but chat GPT says

four to five men, Brock is still favored. 8 to 10, 6 to 8, fight becomes chaotic. Brock is in danger. 8 to 10 men, odds flip against Brock.

10 plus men, Brock certainly losing. Tell it that it's us. Tell it that it's us. Don't do four random men. Tell it that it's 150 CNU. Yeah, say the entire PKA podcast and Oombeville,

unarmed, decide to confront. What's your, what's your biomass, Taylor? My buyer. biomass? Yeah.

Was it a tyrannid swarm? What's your shape and your width and depth and all that stuff? Your volume. I'm probably metric are you? Two, fifteen, two, five. Right now, I lift weights very often. I am stronger than the average guy. He bench the rest is well over 300 pounds.

He's so strong. So I could, I could contribute a bit, like, at least just weighing him down because I'm the heaviest of the four of us. That means I probably should be the one Russian man, frankly. Chet, you're insane. We all want to be on him making contact at the same time. There can't be any putties in the background dancing and looking on. There can't be that guy in the background, like watching Batman beat up his homies. If he has his back to you, you got to jump on his back and try to choke.

If he has his front to you, you got to eat whatever's coming and make contact with him and tie up a limb. When you said putties, it made me think because we've been talking about Seinfeld, just like, I'm not going to fight Brock Lesnar. not going to do it no I'm just not going to do it no he doesn't know what a putty is they're the throwaway useless guys in power rangers back in the day

you're all gray they were never even vaguely it says who we're talking about PKA hosts Woody Kyle Taylor Umpa generally fit but not an elite combat athlete Brock Lesner 290 pounds of freak strength NCAA Division 1 wrestling champion and former UFC heavyweight champion

and former UFC heavyweight champ. Guys, why do we think we have a shot? They say, here's how it realistically goes down. In the first 30 to 60 seconds, one person is down and effectively out. The remaining three now face Brock with adrenaline, fear, and less coordination. In result, Brock favored heavily. I kind of agree. I kind of agree.

Yeah, I think I'm not first. It depends how willing you are. I'll tell you what. I thought we could beat him. but then I found out that you guys were all bitch-made, and now I'm pretty sure we can't be. I said I would go first. I will say,

you got to believe it. You got to believe it, Pam. You got to go in there. He throws a big hook at me. Harts his hand almost abruptly. Now he's at least a little injured. I'm a lunchbox. I'm a spring chicken still.

This is good. And so then you guys charge him. I just think we can take him. I don't think he can incapacitate us. quickly enough to avoid the other three being on him. One of the problems with elite wrestlers is they kind of get to decide who touches them and gets a grip on him. Yeah, scary. Sure, but there's four of us.

So we're able to like, like, like, if he does something to you, then now his arms are extended and we can grab those arms. And we just have to get wrist control, like, like two on one wrist control. Like, like, I don't mean, I mean, once we lock. I couldn't control his wrist with my thighs. But you just have to control the one And he won't be able to help that one Because Taylor will be on the other one If we just get his arms

If we could He would be in so much trouble I swear to God This is how it would go Yeah, our whole bodies can take his arms easily Like Yeah Yeah

And again he's an older man now He's not he's not NCAA Division 1 Who's he what's it He's not champion of the UFC He's not that anymore He's an old man with arthritis In his knees

who doesn't want this from us. I'm going to let you know right now because I got my eyeball weasel here. I got Homer Simpson skull over there and I got I got Woody who knows how to apply arm bars and chokes efficiently and correctly. And I'm going to I'm going for his balls if I can. If I can get a ball, I'm going to bite the ball. And I'm going to do that shit. You know when you're eating and you actually bite your finger and you bit with way more force than you thought possible, I'm applying those bites to balls. I'm taking, I'm taking balls. I'm crushing them.

I'm chewing. I'm not just stopping at one bite. And then swallow the ball. Yeah. Maybe I'll absorb some of his fucking power. Maybe I'll level up from eating his testes. Now that we've completely removed all rules from fighting. He still has rules, though, right?

There are a lot of the eye gowns. There are just a live execution. Everyone thinks about this in one direction. Like, I'll poke him in the eyes. Oh, so now eye pokes are good. Do you like being poked in the eyes? See, we have the advantage of having 40 fingers, though, and he's only got to pin.

My thing is, he's in the, in the, I'm imagining that we get on the ground, the five of us and rolling around. And there's way more opportunities for us to like get balls in our mouth or like big eyeballs out than there are for him. Yeah. Because he can only focus on one thing at a time. And he's not going to be fighting dirty. He's going to be trying to smash.

And he's going to be trying to choke and maybe break things. Like, I just think we take him. Like nine times out of ten, we take him. All right. The only way he defeats is if he like, like, starts like one punch, K-Oing us at range. And it happens fast.

Yeah. He would hit me on a big long chin. I think to ensure victory, we should pick another podcast to join us. Who should it be? J.R.E. That's a one-man podcast. Yeah, yeah.

I thought of him too. You came to my... True. Yeah. You send Jamie in first. Who's... Zach says double-dusted. Who's on double-dusted?

I don't watch podcasts. Me neither. I know I'm struggling here. I'm the perfect eyeball weasel, though, Kyle. I've got like the strong... I can do push-ups on my thumbs and my fingers and stuff. Oh, you get right in there. You scoop one out.

Oh, oh, oh. I've got the strongest finger. longest fingers of any man. Is that Harley's podcast? Double Dusty, that's Harley's podcast? Well, it's got his picture all over when I Google it. Yeah, it is, I think. I've been on this podcast.

Harley, don't be insulted. It's really about me not being smart. Yeah, I don't know that Harley is, you know. He's a professional athlete. I saw him face down the mayor of Slamtown with no fear. Actually, Harley would be very helpful. Harley is so big, and he did all that boxing training. I would definitely, like if we're just digging for podcasters,

then I suppose I would definitely want Harley. I would take him over H3H3. Yeah, I don't think Ethan's good. Ethan would abandon us. He'd be running back trying to like crawl into the crowd or something. He's not down for me. Ethan has his strengths. I don't think physical combat is one of them.

No, I don't think it's necessarily our strengths. I just thinking with numbers, I definitely think 100 times out of 100, the four of us plus Harley defeat Brock Leyen. I just think having that extra person, so he can't pick us down to two people quickly by any means. And again, he's an old man. And there's one of them. I always take numbers. Whenever I've seen street fights where, like, there's one guy getting jumped by a bunch, even if he's skilled and fit and fast, they get the best of him eventually.

They drag him down by numbers and weight, and they just hit him in the back of the head with shit. And now he's discombobulated. just doesn't work out for the one guy getting beat up by a bunch. Chad GBT says the fight lasts longer. Brock takes more damage, but it's still not enough. Chad GPD is going to hurt my feelings. Yeah, I'm not sure about chat GPD. Switch to GROC.

GROC will be in our favor. Here, I'll ask GROC. I don't think there are many people that the four of us can't beat to death. Like, not even, obviously, by making Brock Lesnar one of the people. I just think four people against one, you're just in a lot of trouble, especially when, you know, we're not small. I told Chat GBT, GBT, heck you. He used water that families need. He's like, whoa, you sound a little heated. I'm not here to mess with anyone's water, I promise. If I said something that rubbed you the wrong way, what, let's, let's, what bothered you? I'm done talking to chat, GPT. I'm a grok man now. I haven't used it nearly as much. I wonder if the whole. whole AI thing's going to fizzle out, at least the chat models and the idea that they're worth a lot

of money. I wonder if that's going to fizzle out. I still think it has just innumerable applications and the sorting of information and the aggregating of information in everything from like cosmology to like animal languages. It's able to take huge amounts of data and compile it and understand it in a way that a person in their lifetime never could. I think it's better at tech stuff then you might guess. Like when you ask it to do stuff in your wheelhouse, then maybe it's not great. But I sent it a crash dump

and asked it to analyze that to figure out why a game was crashing. And it did a pretty good job. I'm like, this isn't even human readable. I didn't know if I could just upload that and it would look. That's impressive.

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. They're saying that some of the layoffs and like, America's having a ton of layoffs this month or this quarter or something. And they're attributing some of, that to AI. Is it true? Don't know. I don't know. I think it is going to replace a lot of jobs.

I just think the chat, the chat bots. Like, I don't think that's going to continue to be a thing. I mean, it's just, they're all the same to me. They're all the same. I don't see an advantage in having one, and I don't see how the whole sector can support four or five. They're so expensive. And it's, it just, I don't know. I don't know what the business model is there. I think it's interesting that Apple hasn't seemingly hasn't done anything. Siri, in my opinion, hasn't changed in 10 years. And I like Siri more than most people do. But I have to admit, it's light years behind the AI models.

Oh, yeah. Bigsby's this. I don't use Bigsby very much. But whenever I do, I just get frustrated. He's the Android Siri. Okay. And for some reason, my Bigsby has a black man's voice and I can't change it. I made my

it's like Google that's right I made an Australian girl I made my Bigsby an Australian girl it's my but my on my Google Google voice

it's a black man and I've changed it over and over and it reverts back to black man just keeps being a black man yeah I don't know Elon Musk said that in 10 years

money will be irrelevant because everyone will have anything they want like a Star Trek society and I never said anything that's come true Right? There's like a whole Wikipedia of stuff that he said and if it's come true or not and

it's like all of it's now. For what he's talking about to happen, you would need like cold fusion for energy to be free basically, for anyone to be able to take some hydrogen and helium and at room temperature, boil water, which is what cold fusion would be with some apparatus. And so now there's limitless free energy. That's what it would take for there to be a post-scarcity economy. even then you have um i mean i guess you utilize the free energy to to to make as much food as you want with greenhouses and such but but still like what a ridiculous claim what he should be

talking about is that email that he's sending that pedophile island asking for what weekends the wildest party he can go to so i i don't believe anything he says if that that's such an absurd thing to say that he thinks we're 10 years away from star track we're 10 years away from Battlestar Galactica. It when someone says something like that, to me, it discredits the other claims they make.

And it's wild to me that other people don't see it through the same lens. They just get excited about Tesla. Yeah. Well, I mean, Tesla doesn't make cars anymore. They are going to cease

essentially being a car company, which I can't believe isn't headline news every day all day. Wait a minute. You know, they still have two models that, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but nobody's buying cyber trucks.

They'll cut that soon. Like, the only reason they're not cutting, I bet, is because its facilities aren't useful for the robots. I want to say those two car models combined for like 13% of the cars they sold. So it's the model three that dominates their sales. And they're still making that. So that is the S is the thing. Like, like the S is the car.

That's the, that's the flagship. That's the one that I care about. The only one I would drive. Like, it looks nice, slick. It's the fast. production car in the world. Is that the one that had plaid or do they a bunch of them have a plaid version?

Yeah, it's the flat. It's got the insanity mode. It's four seats. It's comfortable. Of course, it does look like a fucking $15,000 interior. You know, with like an iPad, like cheap as screen stuck there. Obscensibly in the middle of your dash and everything's plain Jane. But

it's a slick ass four-door sedan that drives that's the fastest production. car in the world. It goes zero to 60 in like two seconds flat, I think. That's absurd. That's absurd. Grock seems to think, sorry, Kyle, or sorry, Woody. No, no, you please. This is totally stupid, idiotic, but I'll go ahead and say it anyways. Grock seems to think that I am the, I'm the threat because of the one, one finger push up. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Okay. The tail of the tape, The tail of the tape is

Me, you, Kyle, Taylor, team totals, average height, six foot, combined weight between 7 and 800 pounds, key strengths, numbers advantage,

four on one swarm potential, your finger push up as a power surprise upper body weapon and podcast chemistry for coordination. There is no way that podcasting helps you fight.

Okay. The verdict, you're, uh, let's see, Brock Lesnar is a walking cheat code and it's underlined. It's so, it's like Elon Musk is writing this. It's so funny. Wow. Yeah, so it still thinks we're gonna,

he wins 9.9 times out of 10. I don't think it's aware of how strong. So you're saying there's a chance. Yeah. It doesn't know about, it doesn't know about Taylor's high school wrestling experience. It doesn't know that he could fuck it. bench press

340 pounds or some shit tell Grock that Taylor wrestled in middle school he didn't wrestle in high school he's just to hockey

didn't he yeah damn tell him I've watched every numbered UFC event since 182

numbered that's why numbered UFC since 182 anything about you Woody I have

Affliction T-shirts Whitty. He has the full catalog of a version of a shirt. Every color, even pink. Oh, shit, an upgraded tailtap. New Intel.

This is crazy. Okay. So, updated verdict. Taylor's 340 bench is a legit impressive. Most guys never sniff that. And middle school wrestling gives him a slight edge. True. Combined

literally a blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Oh, okay. Well, okay, although let's add that too. It's searching on X. I don't know what I'm max, but I threw up 265 the other day.

Like, like... Did you really? Damn. Yeah. Yeah. The most I've ever done is on camera. It's, uh,

uh, 205 uh, with Windygoon. we had a channel with Brandon Buckingham Tom Windingoon it was called Power Boys and there was an episode where we all did

binge press 100 maxes they wanted to do 100 max every single week and I was just like come on guys dangerous yeah I don't want to change once your one rep max gets above 300 pounds it seems very dangerous and scary yeah and I don't really have anybody to help me I've never come anywhere close I've never weighed

more than 150 pounds in my whole life I've always been really small long guy. That's why you're my eyeball Weasel. I'm hardly ever use Twitter or X but everyone that's telling me Mr. Beas wrote me so I hopped on there. Dude my feed is filled with

Hey Grock, remove this bikini. Hey, Bob, right. Put her in a bikini. There was a woman who had hair covering her boobs and it's like, hey, Grock, remove the hair. But I don't see the results. Does Grock answer all that? these things? Does it do it privately? I didn't see the results. Yeah, that's what Elon's in trouble for in France. I think he's being sued. Maybe I think they rated like some headquarters of his

because basically that chatbot is creating underage porn of anyone that you ask it to. I did hear about that. I didn't see it though. Everybody was an adult in the pictures I saw. Well, you can ask it to do it to anybody. Yeah, that makes sense. The pictures that you see, like, if they're, like, talking about it, they're not going to include. Like, you can put any photo you want in there and ask it to do the thing, and it will. Apparently, I don't know. I genuinely haven't done it.

It's given us 8 out of 10 now, chance. See, man, all it needed to do was understand our credentials, you know, and account for them. And, of course, like I say, Brock is, how old is Brock Lesnar? I bet he's 56? 48. Is he? You look? Yeah.

That's what Grock said. Hold on. That's much younger than what I thought he was. And I saw him, like, I think that picture's accent is like within the last year or two. That kind of looks like what he looks like now. He is still enormous. But I just, I just think we got the edge here. He's so fucking scary.

Would you go, Taylor? Do you go vomit? Just, I feel terrible. I'm like oscillating between like sweating profusely and then being freezing. My head is killing me. Yeah, you got the flu. You'll heal up. It'll buff.

It'll buff. It'll go away. I haven't been this sick and longer than I can remember. Dude. I always say the same thing. Like you forget how awful it is until it hits you and it's fucked up. Oh my God. It's terrible.

Just like the laying in bed, not not able to like even think clearly because you're like in that half asleep but not getting rest. Half awake. Like weird dream. Man. Unrelated. I had an idea. you guys want to go five hours today? No.

Sorry, Chad. I'd have done it. I wanted it. Damn it. Fucking the enemies. I was out there and I'm like shaking in front of a different large space heater out there. And my fiance is like, let me make you some like chicken broth or something. I'm like, okay.

I waited like eight minutes. And I'm like, I got to get back to work. like it's just stumbling that horrible flu muscle feeling where you feel like the ache oh like you're just lifting your arms is exhausting i will not take the health for granted when this goes away until like a week passes and then i'll forget dude what you're talking about right there that's that is a very real phenomenon that i experience uh because i i've mentioned it like four times already in this in this podcast but i get chronic migraines and every time it's so bad the next day I'm like, I'm so glad to be normal and alive.

And then I forget about it. And then it happens the next week. And then the next, it's like an endless cycle of just reorienting my, my gratitude. Because like one day a week, I'm just fucked. I've taken sumatryptin, prescriptions run out. It doesn't make me feel very good. It makes me feel very bizarre. I would rather sleep or I can't really do stuff whenever I'm on medications that have worked.

So generally what I'll try to do is take more vitamins and things that affect my blood and neurotransmitters like NAC or Taurine or magnesium. I just try to fuck with my body a little bit. I'll take a super hot shower, drink a Dr. Pepper, drink a cup of coffee, two Tylenol, and see what happens. Sometimes it will not be as bad, but most of the time it just doesn't, it's just 24 hours and it's gone. It lasts 24 hours? Yeah, about.

Once a week. That's brutal, man. Yeah, it's pretty, not all of them are horrible, but. Mine don't seem to be as bad as you. I get a headache that's not the worst. It's not the biggest pain. The symptom, though, that makes me sure it's a migraine is I can't read. Like I can see the words.

Sometimes I can read out of the corner of my eyes, so I look there and then try to like take it in in my peripheral vision. And we have a pill that just makes it go away. It doesn't seem to have any other side effects. It's just 30 minutes later you notice like, oh, I'm actually completely fine. So I asked my wife for the name of it and I'll tell you what it is when she replies. Is a migraine like, it's like your blood pressure super high in your head. It's related. It's like a cousin to a seizure is the way that I've heard it explained. It's like electrical. Um, Some people have a couple times in my life I've had what's called a cluster headache, which those are like,

you're vomiting and it's terrible. And there's nothing you can do. And it feels like you are dying. Those are terrible. My sister used to get those a lot when she was a kid. She's grown out of all that entirely has no migraines at all. My mom, same thing. My dad still gets them occasionally.

And I'm like right at the point where I'm the one who gets them the most right now. hopefully you grow out of it. I hope so, yeah. I'm so spoiled with headaches. I know here come the jokes. I never, ever, ever get even mild headaches. My head is immune. Like, I spent so many years with the intense bruxism, teeth grinding that I think my brain learned, like, don't even signal pain.

It's, don't even worry about it. And so now when I get like, probably a relatively minor one, I'm like, life is hard. I'm just being a fucking pussy. But it does suck. You feel like a pussy. This morning I was like running out doing, I was doing errands. And I'd been, I'm like Dennis Reynolds when it comes to getting sick. It's very rare I get for real sick.

But the whole lead up into it, I'm like, if I were sick, no. And that's the way it's always good. And this morning, like I was running around doing errands. And I felt like I was just like, I was like collapsing back into my car. And I was like, I need to go home. I need to go home and like lay down. had Seinfeld on in my room as I was doing that like drift in, drift out thing.

And I swear, I know, because it was just Netflix playing and it didn't say like stop, like keep playing forever, that little option. But it was like, I kept thinking I was rehearing the scene of those two gay guys stealing the armoire from Kramer.

That's the moment I fell asleep where he's like, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to take it? Lift it up. And they steal the armoire. and it just felt like that happened for an hour. I want to help whoever is listening and Caleb. Taylor, how do you pronounce that word?

You brelvie? You brelvie? You brelvie? Brelvie. U-B-R-E-L-V-Y. Prescription. Migrant medication. Eliminates pains.

21% of patients experience pain freedom at two hours. Interesting. 21% get pain freedom? That is not the glowing review I was expecting. 61% of patients experience pain relief at two hours. Secondary endpoint. This is what it says on their thing. I'm not sure why.

20% seems rough. Oh, this is when versus before. I see. So if you take it during, is it? What is this? This doesn't make any sense. Maybe I'm getting a,

what is the thing called when you just imagine it and it actually makes it better? like a sugar. Maybe I'm getting a placebo effect that's just amazing for me. Maybe we've ruined the effectiveness of this drug. But for me, like within 30 and 45 minutes,

that's awesome. It's just better. And there are no like other bad things happening. I'm not exhausted. I'm not just ready to go. And I was hoping you'd have the same response to it. Yeah, I'll have to ask my doctor about it. This week I'm having a particular,

I had a particularly bad one this week, and I'm still having aura. Like, I've had an aura all week where it's like my left eye. It's like a, it's like rain almost, like rain rolling down a window, but just like right here in my peripheral vision on the left side. And sometimes whenever I look left or right,

it goes across my vision. And then that happens. And then usually I get a headache after, but I already had my migraine, and it's still happening. So I'm not sure what's going on. Do any of you guys have floaters in your eyes? Oh, yeah, terrible, especially whenever I have a migraine.

No, I just have that stupid eyelash that grows on the inside of my eyelid, that I have to, every time it regrows, I have to blink it off because it's invisible because it's growing on the inside and it's all wet and rough smooth. It's polished, like the way they polish a coconut until it shines. The eyelash does that and it becomes translucent, wet, and literally invisible. So to potentially pluck it, which is what everyone suggests, I would have to turn my eyelid inside out and then shakeily take a sharp tweezer and get it right to my eyelid and start trying to find the thing. But you can't find it. Every now and then you get a glimmer of it.

It's like the predator when it's wearing the active camouflage. You're like, oh, it's in them trees. Like you can't get the fucker. So I have to blink it till it goes away. All week I've been doing it. It came out two days ago. Oh, no. It takes four days of blinking.

And this is a new thing post-cancer surgery, right? Yes, yes. They showed my eyelid back together. It's a little bit off. You should get a refund. They need to put the eyelashes on the outside. I mean, most of them are. Most of them are.

Okay, partial refund. I mean, the whole thing wasn't that expensive. You know, I've had dog bills that cost more than that cancer surgery. That was pretty cheap. Everybody complains about not having insurance. It wasn't that bad. It was a real little surgery, too. Like you were Bing, Bang, Boom, in and out.

The recovery looks like it was terrible. You didn't minimize his cancer battle. You guys are survivors. How dare you diminish my fight against cancer? I donated. How much must I suffer? In thought to a cancer surgery because of you. Why would you donate to me?

I'm the one with the cancer. Don't donate to some kid. If I understand it right, he donated thought, so whatever. Next time I don't know. The human fund. Firing off prayers. Yeah. I'm thinking about getting into archery because I want to go on like an elk.

It started with compound. So I'll tell you where I started with my like idea that this would be a fun than you do. I want a bunch of elk meat. I want a freezer full of elk meat. But that's it's like if I'm going to do that, I'd kind of like to kill it myself, you know, and do the whole thing. So I'm like, well, then I would need to get back into archery again. And then I would need to do one of those guided hunts in like Colorado or something. I know a guy.

I bet. We'll do it for real cheap. In Colorado or Texas? In New Mexico. I was about to say that it's like $10,000 a person for guidance. It's a nice place called Ziaf Ranch. I would happily take some sort of a real cheap deal. I need to get back into archery.

I haven't shot since I was 18 or something like that. It's satisfying that like. I love archery so much. I started deer hunting when I was, I started archery like, deer hunting when I was 12. I think I killed the first day when I was 12, and I hunted out like throughout my childhood, like every season.

And me and my dad would shoot 3D archery tournaments a lot. So I know my way around a bow and I know the sport. I just haven't done it in a while. You should do recurve this time, make it a little tougher. That's what we're doing. Elk. Not an elk. Yeah, don't do that.

You don't do that. You might have said it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you might. I don't know that an elk has ever like turned on a hunter and killed him, but it could if it wanted. Yeah. You should come to Texas and hunt a Neil guy

Instead of an elk What's Neil guy? Basically, Indian elk This big bodied I think it's native Native to Asia And there's a ton of them Oh, okay

Are they good? Dude, they're fucking amazing What's compared to like a bee Like to beef or pork or It's like elk or venison So I The way that I would describe it It's like an elk

And I'm not sure if you guys have had goat but the goat that I've had has been fucking immaculate and it's like elk goat okay I've had elk at like Brazilian steakhouses and Indian restaurants and stuff and I always liked it you know yeah it's amazing I love new guy incredible delicious I like the idea of filling a freezer up with like 800 pounds of elk meat and having like three years worth of elk steaks and elk strips and stuff like that yeah but I'm a

freezer's full of deer compound bow for like a like I knew guys I guess not pull weight because it's compound what's the force it's shooting the arrow with the car the draw weight's adjustable I think most modern bows are somewhere between 60 and 80 85 pounds or something like that I'm sure there's bows that go above and below that

but you're probably shooting close to 400 feet per second is like probably the number you're looking for and my first bow was a 60 pound draw PSC and it shot 280, 55 feet per second, you know, back in the day. And it was like, you can watch that arrow travel lazily through the air to your target. It's, it's too late. That's paintball speed.

Yeah, that's, uh, the bow that I have right now, it's a, it's a, it's a, um, I forget what it, what the model is, but it's 2020 model. And, um, it shoots 305, 305 feet per second IBO. I always, uh, for the target stuff, I crank out the limbs so it's easier to pull back so I can shoot it for a lot longer. But archery is like the most fun thing ever. And my wife actually got me a really nice recurve bow for Christmas. And I got her one for her birthday last year.

So we've been shooting recurve. What kind of recurve is it? I believe it's a bear, Fred Bear. I think it's a bear. Okay. And it's like 65. I've got one of those two. Yeah, I've got a 65 pound bear one.

And it's really not that hard to pull at all. No, it's easy. It's pretty simple. It is just kind of fun holding the force, though, with the recurve bow and feeling like, like, legless, feeling like an archer. Because I'm fantasizing. I'm playing pretend out there. That's what I'm plinking targets in my yard.

Did you like the Robin Hood cartoon back in the day? The old Disney? That was one of my favorites. Pulling them back and letting them go, Aero, Robbin. Wait, the movie? Yeah, the car. With the box and the... Really?

Might not hear? I think it's getting better, but you broke up for a minute, for a second. You got me? I've seen the movie. I thought you're talking about a TV show. Yeah, I've seen that movie. I'm talking about the animated film where Robin Hood is a fox and Little John is a bear. Yeah, that's a great one.

Loved it. Yeah, Robin Hood. That always made me wanted to get into archery as a kid because, you know, Robin Hood. I like that silly snake. He was good. Oh, yeah. The snake is awesome. Yeah, yeah.

He's like, somehow they animate a snake like pulling its elbows up and resting on it, like animate its coils to do that and he's like it's like such good animation. It's like such good animation looks better than a lot of stuff now that just like fell into like Oh the amount of man hours is this a family guy cartoon show Or is it a Simpson's cartoon show or is it like Bob's Burgers? They're all it's all plug and play shit now

That was all handmade fucking artistry all those panels are hand drawn by professional artists who and that wasn't their first time at it Like that's all those carcups. There's an area where AI could do well. I feel it. It just seems like it's ripe to get so much better. And I feel like you do a whole movie with AI. There's going to be a ton of backlash on it.

But yes. I don't see why AI can't make full on movies start to finish with no human input whatsoever. Already it would be, I've seen things like that. And I'm like, all right, it's a little janky, but it's this and that. You can even have the AI write all the dialogue. Arc is all AI, you know. Like not only are all the enemies in Arc Raiders, AI, like learning models that they trained, you know, a million steps through weird patterns and then put that brain into the spiders and scorpions and such.

But even all of the vendors, all of the voice acting is done by AI. There's not a single human fingerprint on that game. That makes some people really mad. I'm fine with it. And I think if someone did all the animation for a movie in AI, they'd be really mad. But if there's something bad about the AI, that means whoever, like, decided that was the one to include didn't maintain his quality standards. AI can make great stuff. Just maybe not on its first try.

The memes are getting better for it. Like, I saw what had to be a three and a half minute video of a hyper-realistic Jeffrey Epstein with an iPhone walking around, like, taking selfies with every single person that's implicated. complicated in the files. And so it's like him, like walking into the Oscars, like him and Woody out. It's everyone. Every single person. I don't even know how you would input to get that. Like, it's, it's banana. It's, it's, it's not something I would sit and pay and watch, but it's to the point now that I consistently get a laugh out of those like Epstein, uh, Charlie Kirk, whoever. Yeah. Oh my God. You sent me the most bizarre thing the other day. It's like Charlie Kirk is speaking. And there's like weird hip hop tag.

techno playing and the bullet comes at Charlie and it's about to hit him and Jeffrey Epstein steps in like the matrix and grabs the bullet out of the air. Yeah. He starts singing, we are Charlie Kirk and the conglon. And it's like when I saw that, I was like, this is so psychotic that I can't look away from it.

Like the idea of someone sitting at their computer being like, no, that's not good enough. He's got the conga line's got to go longer like that and making something like that. It's wild. The shit's all over Twitter and probably also over, on Reddit. What I wonder what Charlie Kirk would say about the Epstein files?

Like, was he really aggressive about it? Or was he starting to, like, get in line and support his side? You know, like... I don't know. You would imagine that he would want the release. I think he'd talked about wanting them released. They all did at one point. Yeah, they all did.

It turned out that Trump daddy was the road. And you get Megan Kelly apologizing for him, Joe Rogan, you know, like minimizing the crimes. Like, Joe Rogan was all about. the Epstein files when he thought they centered on Bill Clinton. Now that they center on Donald Trump, and I'm not saying Clinton's not in there and never did anything, but we know there's a star in this story.

And now that we know it's Trump, half of those right-wing commentators are just fucking buckled up, talking about something else. I hate that. I hate that they're hypocritical about the most important things. Because like with like gun rights, I see people like not wanting black and gay people

to arm up. And it's like, what the, then you don't believe in the Second Amendment. what's your fucking problem? Like I actually think everybody should be armed to the teeth. Everybody are they gay and the blacks and the browns and the dudes. You screamed about the government being oppressive about jackbooted thugs working for the feds. And if you can't see that the left might feel this way and they shouldn't have gun like, I don't know.

It guns for me, but not for thee was their actual principled stance. Well, that's gay. Everybody should have guns. And I don't, I just don't get why you wouldn't want everything released and hope that we get some kind of smoking guns to Kyle's point earlier. Like, it could be that Mossad and these blackmail organizations aren't going to release these smoking guns. Because if you, we've talked about this before. Like if you release all the blackmail, ooh, now you don't get to lean on them. Now you have a picture of Donald Trump. engaging in actual pedophilia. That photograph is worth more than its weight and fucking uranium. It's unobtainium. It is a fucking key card to as much power and money as you can imagine. And it's influence on a scale that you can't perceive of, the most powerful man in the world in your pocket.

And the person who paid for that blackmail to be created, the person who bought an island, set up a guy named Jeffrey Epstein, made up a whole backstory about him being some tech-interested financier, and then plugged him into the blue blood of Europe and America, and then had him slowly lure people to this island for this blackmail that you've created. That was a massive investment. Maybe $100 million is what this thing cost to get into the hands of Mossad. And at least 40% of that came out of their own pockets.

it probably was financed by us. We circuitously fund our own control by a foreign nation. Like how fucking insane is that? We have no sovereignty. If we consider that that is the most likely case, then my guess is that whenever the raids happened, maybe not even that, whenever the writing was on the wall

and they came to arrest Jeffrey Epstein and they were coming to get him, I bet stuff like that was whisked to wherever it needs to be. I bet it was already there, if anything. I bet that the picture of Donald Trump is in some vault in Tel Aviv or in some vault in the Kremlin. It's locked away in somebody's private safe. Kremlin? I am disliking this mainstream narrative of like, this is Russia. It's like shut the fuck up. Stop talking to me like I'm retarded. It's obviously Mossad. I don't see why it couldn't be both. I don't see why it couldn't be a little bit of both.

but I certainly don't want to take any that should 100% be on massage. I've heard the Russian thing just recently but I didn't know enough to parrot it like I try to get my facts right I don't always get them right but I it's why it's hard because when they release

emails I'm convinced sometimes they release nonsense to try and debunk other stuff like stuff they add in there and try and mislead and so then they can go oh well this story about George H.W. Bush raping a baby to death and cutting it in half with a bastard sword that's so silly who could believe that that's what all these accusations are and then they like they just roll with it yeah a hand in a half sword yeah i want all these people exposed i want our country to be in charge of itself again i don't want us behold into foreign countries and that means exposing all of us yeah i will say uh Putin didn't go to uh his house 40 times but ihood barak the prime minister of israel did so yeah really pretty pretty terrifying i'm because i was

what you're getting it, but I keep hearing people say I didn't go to the island, as if that's parallel to I didn't do anything wrong. Irrelevant. And I'm like, listen, this guy delivered girls to wherever you were. Stop saying, I didn't

go to the island. He had seven homes, I think. He had like seven homes or something like that across the world. Again, that mansion in New York is like something out of a fucking, it reminds me of the mansion from succession. It's insane. Like it's 21,000 feet, seven floors in in New York like it I was like people live in real estate like that in New York what does

that think cost did you say 27 floors 21,000 square feet seven floors oh seven floors still though yeah and the the decoration you're in goolish I saw this letter from um Woody Allen where he described going to Jeffrey Epstein's mansion in New York like um he was like it was very much like visiting count Dracula. He always had three very young women's like in attendance sort of servicing the household, like the same way Dracula had those three. I had those three ladies. And it was, it was always very odd and weird, stiff jokes that I didn't understand the punchline too. And he literally called him Count Dracula. Dude, the Satan stuff. It's like, can you imagine setting up like a blackmail rain like with their thought and they're like, we want this to be so over the top evil that like if this

story were served to Hollywood, they'd be like, well, there needs to be a little nuance here. You know, like, you can't, you can't be like blackmailing. Oh, the bad guy's pedophiles and also be like worshiping Satan and have statues of the devil and all this, this nonsense. It's pretty horrible. But I worry the same thing, because remember, like, Pizza Gay, the Podesta emails, there was never, it was the same style, the same code, the same shit was being said there. And nothing ever came of that.

No one ever got in trouble because they never, like, hit a smoking gun. done that they could find it. But now it seems like this sort of thing, even if it didn't happen to a pizza restaurant, who fucking knows. But we know this is happening. Yep. Our country's been controlled for decades is what everybody should be finding out right now. Foreign country controls our foreign policy.

Like we do things on behalf of them. It's out of control. You can't, like we need sovereignty back. Enough. Agreed. On that note, I shall resign from this conversation. I have to go eat dinner with my wife.

Have a good. Enjoy. Thank you so much for coming. coming. Yeah, thank you. Appreciate it, guys. I'll see y'all soon. All right. Yeah. See you. I liked it when he liked being on the how many people to be Brock Lesnar conversation. He's like, I feel like I'm like, I'm in a PGA right now. That would be a, that would be a seven hour compilation if someone made it. But just like, no. And what he's just like, I remember we used to get like like loud about it or what he's like, I could fuck up three eagles. You don't even know. I was way too much respect. They have hollow bones.

Animals in general, I swear. Something begins a wild animal. And you think their muscles aren't made of muscles anymore. They're just fucking steel cables. They're just people. Bears, birds, all varieties of people. Get it through your head.

Three falconers would defeat Woodie in the open field with no issue whatsoever if they had the element of surprise. All right? Three paraguant of falcons flying at you from three quadrants of your of your viewpoint. you're going to be instantly down. I always come prepared with swim goggles, which are the defense to the falcon. Yes.

I knew you protect the eyes. That's why I said for your jugular. The paragon falcon is the fastest bird in the world. That thing's going to hit you going like 100 miles per hour. But you don't know is my regular daily wear is swim goggles and a turtleneck. Well, we've been defeated, boys. I'm sorry.

He wore the turtleneck. Somebody warned him. I'd sacrifice a couple of the falcons. Let's wait until his eyes get sweaty, and then maybe we'll put him in that moment. I'd be like, Woody doesn't have the helmet. I sacrifice one falcon just hitting Woody's head at the top at like 140 miles an hour. You'd have to sacrifice a falcon.

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you know, whatever takes. Yeah, but then it really isn't a win because it died. What does a falcon even cost, right? Time a dozen. Falcon. Paragon is what he was talking about. I would choose a paragon falcon.

I don't know it's the best for man killing, but it is the world's fastest bird, I believe. I know when it dives, it goes like 150 miles an hour, something absurd like that. Some crazy speed. Wow, that's a huge range. Between 1,500 and 15,000? What for what?

Oh, the cost of falcon. I bet it's those Arabs jacking the price up. They all got to have a falcon. Thought it was going to say you couldn't buy one. Oh, yeah. Some falcons came to my dad's place and hunted doves one day. And they, like, filmed their falconry. And it was pretty cool.

You couldn't see shit on their goddamn VHS movie tape. But they were, like, sicken their falcons on doves out there. And they'd hit them, knock the shit out of them and bring them back. Dude, the fastest dive ever. 14 grand. 242 miles in a hour. Kyle, you said 100. 242 is the highest dive speed miles per hour.

Yeah, it says most. dives exceed 200 miles an hour. That's insane. It looks, when you see the side profile of it flying, it looks so much like the B2. Yeah. Yeah, it does. That's really cool. Yeah, I didn't know that went that fast. I read this book when I was a kid called My Side of the Mountain about a kid who essentially runs away from home to live in the wilderness of the Catskill Mountains of New York. And one of the things he does, he climbs this cliff face to a Peregrine Falcon nest. And he takes one of the babies and he raises it from a chick so that it's his paragon falcon.

And then he falconries with it, you know, uses it to catch birds and maybe rabbits and stuff like that. It's a good boat. Those are going to match it. I'm going to put it. Taylor's all digitized,

freeze framed. Oh. Okay, okay. So I did a little research. First, how fast does a skydiver fall? And the standard, you're in there.

You're in there. The standard belly to earth, you know, like arms. Oh, that's slower. 120. Yep. Head down or head up is about 160, so you're right there. But apparently there are speed skydivers. And I imagine they wear a special outfit.

They go over 300. And the record is 370. That's incredible. That's really fast. The wind turbulence. the wind turbulence and noise would be deafening at 370. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was super loud at what I imagine was like 120.

Yeah, yeah. That's faster than a top fuel dragster goes. They go like 330. Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah, anyway, pretty quick. I wonder what they look like. I don't know. Zach, see if you can find one of these world record-setting speed divers.

speed skydiver is what Google calls them see a picture getting one of these airplanes these airplanes they're not interesting to me they're a bad way to travel right like you're really at the whim

of weather they're not super fast they don't get you anywhere quickly like when you consider that you're going to drive to the local airport pre-flight etc etc there's like a

I thought I would be more special. I expected to look like how from when he was speed walking and Malcolm in the middle. I don't think that's a speed skydiver. I think that's just the normal head down like a regular dude. I mean the cliche in the aviation community is

if you want to get somewhere fast, just drive or fly commercial. This like what you're suggesting is good for what they called a $100 hamburger where you go like four towns over, you land in your plane, you get the burger, you fly back and that's about what your day

cost but it was a special day right like this kid got recommended to me on YouTube and he's got a $12,000 airplane and looks spacious is the wrong word it doesn't look cramped

to me it's a it is a plane it's a real plane it'd be cramped if you had a passenger I see he has two sticks there exactly yeah right So they'd be really... To get a view of it on the ground

versus him piloting in it and stuff. And he was flying across the country. He was going from like maybe Indiana to like somewhere in New England. Like he was doing that route with a few stops along the way. I think the plane was going like a well over 100 miles an hour. I remember that.

Over 100 less than 150. Something like that. And he was doing like four gallons an hour is what he was burning, which seemed like... I bet if he wanted to get to, to Raleigh. The version of you that has this plane versus the version

of you that uses your car? I'm not sure who wins. I live right next to the airport. I don't think you use that airport. No, no, like a facility that you would use. Okay. All that I could use. Yeah. So let's say you're

10 minutes from the airport or less. And then you have to pre-flight it and get going. If you're in a hurry, you're off the ground in 40 minutes. Okay. And then you do the flying. Well, you have to gas it up, I assume.

And I don't think you can make it in one shot. Probably not. No. And fuel it up. Yeah, for sure. I'd have to stop, you know, in South Carolina or something at Anderson, probably. There's an airport. That's the one that I'd like played around and flown that says that.

I don't know. I was shocked when I saw it was twice. $12,000. It's like, that's what my motorcycle costs. You know what I mean? Like, like,

I'm going to sell that motorcycle when the, when the weather gets better this year anyway. You know, like, kind of, something about that amount of money is like, it's simultaneously a lot of money, but not totally out of impulse purchase,

right? Like, I won't miss this 12. I won't miss it, but you know what I'd like? Fucking airplane. you know what I mean and it's like what's it called future pilots license is that that's several thousand I think I was told five when I don't know if you need a full blown you might be able to get

is it called a sport pilots license something like that oh that's interesting if you're flying I bet if you're flying one of these experimental planes anyway it's you're probably locked out of certain airports maybe by the class of the plane and maybe even your class of your license I don't think so sport pilot license is right and it's I think it's more of about the weight of the aircraft than the um whether it's a experimental or not um and a recreational pilots license is uh the one that you would otherwise get i think it's a little easier to get and i don't think it restricts you at all it just restricts what kind of planes you can fly but they created this sport pilot license class if i recall to make aviation more popular oh it's also five grand

5 to 10 grand. Yeah. The license costs almost as much as the goddamn plane. It's crazy. You need a place to store the plane. It's probably not a hanger because the hangar is expensive. And oftentimes they're a wait list for hangers. This looks like you could,

I've seen helicopters put on trailers and just towed behind someone's pickup truck. I don't know if his wings fold up on that plane. But if the wings fold up, roll it right onto a, you know, a trailer and just tow it to keep. at my dad's house. I don't know. Right, right. But now we've created a at the beginning and at the start and end of every flight, there's an hour long task to do, which is like hook up a trailer. The pre-flight gets more tricky and important. And it's just so inconvenient and so expensive. I will say this. I think flying a plane is the biggest financial mistake that anybody makes. So you have to be okay with

that. When I lived in Locust Grove, there was a neighborhood that was built around seemingly the idea of making this convenient. Like they, the neighborhood was like instead of the neighborhood built around a golf course, it was a neighborhood built around. Really mean, and there was the big hangers there that you could see. And clearly like it was a bunch of like dentists and like real estate guys who had a little bit of money and they had a $100,000 plane and they sort of had their life rotating around that airfield. Like I said, instead of a golf course or like, there's lake house communities that are like that a lot of the times where it's sort of a lake-based community.

But it was an airplane-based community. It was right next to where I used to live. I would drive past it a lot and think that was pretty neat. I think that's super cool. You know, like, listen, an airport doesn't have to be as expensive as they make it out to be. Like, you know, let's just do this. And some communities do it.

What other hobbies? obviously golf rarely but sometimes aviation are there any other communities based around hobbies? Oh. I can't. Like I don't know of any ice rink houses.

Yeah, it's not like you can go live at the racetrack. Who would want to? It'd be so goddamn loud. Braetacks are so loud. Planes are so quiet. I have been at airports like just little general aviation airports and a sesta will sneak up on me.

I'm like, what the fuck? Like, it's a good. thing I wasn't standing on the runway, it just came into land and it was right there. Yeah, those are cool. I've flown in single engine and double engine, and then I've flown in some like, I don't like medium class airplanes. That flight that we took from Burlington, Vermont to, I don't even remember where we ended up.

No, we went from Boston to Burlington, Vermont. That was a weird, like, in between. It definitely wasn't a big enough plane that you're like, ah, we're good. This isn't the kind of plane that goes down. It was still that class of plane that goes down. That was the scariest, I bet. That was the scariest plane. I wasn't on that plane, but for that same trip, because I met you at the place.

Yeah, yeah. I remember the plane I took, they asked me how much I weighed and chose my seat for me accordingly. I was like, yeah. This isn't my normal airline experience. Yeah, the pilot, the pilot was an, oh, he must have been six, four, and very overweight. Like he was already a giant, but then he was fat. And he was like, all right, who's the heaviest?

And I looked around at all these girls and tiny men, and I was like, I think it's me, buddy. And he's like, all right, you're my co-pilot. Oh, no. What? I'm holding the flight checklist sitting in the co-pilot seat, holding it so that he can read it the whole way. Whereas he's like going through his checks and flipping shit and taking off. I'm helping him navigate. I'm up and we're bouncing around, losing and gaining so much altitude in the snowstorm

that I've got my hand under my seat pulling to keep my ass stuck to the seat. And then the other hand is showing him like whatever chart he needed to look at because we were at zero visibility. The snowstorm was just, it looked like a screensaver in the way that it was just constant snow being blown at us at 150 miles an hour. That's when Kitty's cousin was in the back and he needed to. two vomit bags, one to piss in and one to vomit in. Jesus.

I had the opposite experience, and it was glorious. We were whitewater rafting down the Grand Canyon, and you arrived by helicopter. And he's like, all right, who's the lightest? And here I am at like 14-year-old with a testosterone level of zero. And so I sat up front. So I sat up front. and the helicopter had like a glass bottom by my feet and he is in the Grand Canyon

just like racing it doing these curves and stuff and it was neat because he's turning left well before we need to turn left so it's almost like he's drifting the Grand Canyon in a helicopter and I'm in front seat surrounded by glass it was a dope vacation I liked it all the helicopter rides I've been on

were fucking everything you'd want them to be. Like plane rides, when I was a kid, before I'd ever been in a plane, even a young adult, because I didn't fly until I was like 20 or something. I didn't, I thought it was going to be this cool thing in the plane. But then you get up there and you're just sitting in an office chair with this tiny little portal and it's just loud. But being in a helicopter as a passenger, especially when you've got a pilot who's out to have fun, it's thrilling. It's much closer to like pod racing from Star Wars. When you're flying low, like low, we would get low enough that you could jump out. like like like but flying fast and sideways with my door on the leading edge like like i'm the of the of the oh oh i see yeah he's flying sideways 40 miles an hour and i'm leaned all the way out the door with a harness just if the harness breaks i fall out that's how hard i'm leaning out and i'm just fucking gunning down pigs as we fly because they're under us running from us and i've got a fucking acr with a extendo mag and it just everything before me is dying. And I was like, this is the coolest fucking thing ever. But even just cruising in a,

in a helicopter is so much fun. It's, it's, it's the most fun I've had flying anything. Experiences that dope are too rare. Like, I bet most people listening have never had a really dope helicopter ride in which they did. It's expensive. Hmm. They're expensive to operate. Even back then, it was like $600, $600 an hour to get an R-44 just for like camera work. Like just as a camera platform. forget doing anything wacky. But then those helicopter hog hunts, I think those were like five to $10,000 a man per day or something like that.

And we got everything for free. So it was just trying to appreciate the moment, you know, when you're getting to do everything for free. But every helicopter pilot I've met is just such a cool guy. He's what you think he's going to be usually. He's like, they're usually like 45 years old, little gray in their beard. and they still just love to have fun in this thing. They're passionate about it.

And I remember asking, they were like, hey, and oftentimes when we were dealing with these people, like when we dealt with this guy one time where we were renting a tank from him. He owns the tank. He's rented the tank to World of Tanks, the video game, and World of Tanks has put me in it. And he's standing over there, arms crossed,

watching me in his baby, this perfectly restored World War II tank. And I'm the devil on the shoulder in their, telling the driver, God damn, this is just like it would have been back in the day, you know. We're all wearing fucking, he's a, again actor himself. I convinced I was like, we're about to run over a Jeep. And I'm like, man, let's hit it like it's a fucking Nazi car. And we're bringing freedom to Berlin.

And he's like, rip the tender right off this fucking museum piece. And it was always the devil on the shoulder for these people. And the helicopter pilot, I was like, hey, it'd be pretty cool. It would be kind of like that new Tom Cruise movie if we tied a rope to the landing gear of your helicopter and then tied the other end of me. And then you just kind of flew around town. He's like, that would be cool. And I was like, yes. You're my guy.

I really expected to know here. You already said, better tie good night. Yeah, I love him. I was going to let you tie it. I did tie it. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm going to let somebody else tie that knot.

Well, I would prefer a harness. Over a knot. Yeah, I mean, I was like someone who's good at knots. Yeah, something's got to connect the rope to the harness, though. Like, I'm in the harness, but somebody's got to tie this rope to the heli, and then somebody's got to tie it to my harness. What knot did you use? We went on the internet and found correct knots, and then we very carefully tied them there.

You didn't wing it? Just a double knot. Just a double knot. It's good enough of shoes. I wanted to be able to tie. They look the same. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't want to get dropped onto a fucking freeway outside Houston. I don't know much about knots at all. I can barely, I can't tie a tie without a video on the internet. I'm in the same position now. It's been so long since I regularly did it that I was thinking about it like earlier today. And I was like I genuinely don't remember. I like the double Windsor. I like a symmetrical tie knot.

So I've got to find, I can't do that lazy one side over thing. It annoys me. I'm the same way. I can do the knot that you don't like. but I don't like it much either. Yeah. Yeah, it's always cock-eyed. The double Windsor's a fancy man's not.

But the worst is you like tie it really well in a double Windsor and then it's like, oh, fuck, it's like barely down to my navel. Now I have to restart again. And there's no way when I get at the correct length, my knot is going to be as beautiful as it is right now. Can I just pull it down? I can remember sitting in front of my TV with the tutorial for the double Windsor on,

the night before court, tie is sitting on the fucking ironing board because I keep crinkling it up in these fruant knots and I keep ironing it flat again and starting over. And it's exactly what you said. Either I fuck the knot up some way because like my spatial reasoning is retarded or I tie it right,

but now I look like fucking yogi bear and I've got like a four inch fucking tie like a fucking retard from a cartoon movie or some shit. And I'm like on it, it might have taken me an hour and a half. I get cranky every time I have to tie a tie. in my adult life. I'm like, this is so antiquated, so anachronistic.

Hate this. I was furious. I've driven to my mom before to get my tie, like, done. Within the last 15 years, I've driven to mommy to get her to tie my goddamn tie because I just can't fucking do it. When I worked, I wore a tie every day. And so, like, I would just keep them tied.

I'd loosen it, take it off, and then hang it in the closet. And if it needed a little ironing, get a little wrinkled, you could do that with it, still tie in the knot. But they were always, tied so I never had to learn. I just got my mom to tie all my ties and then I never had to

tie him again. I never understood why that was a bad thing to do. Just leave him tied. It was easy. I did the same thing when I had to for work. Just leave a few tied and then pick whatever one has the best knot on the day. Rock and roll. My Moroccan friend, the Muslim fellow, he was a master. He tied a double Windsor, but like some sort, it was the one that has multiple layers on the knots. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. He was fucking crap. with it. I always, he always had this, he always had this fat double Windsor with the extra layers on the, the knotted portion. I was like, you got to tie my tie for me. And he's like, show a thing, big man. And he's like, he loved it. I got as cool. Can you do it against you too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people can only tie tie from their on themselves. He could do it both ways. He could do it, but he could do it on me and or he could obviously do it to himself. But he was a master. He was, I, you know, I was 19. I was very impressed. He could. He could do it. He could do it. He was very impressed. He was. He was. He was. I, you know, I was very impressed. He could. He could. He could. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was And I was meeting a lot of people that seemed like they had inferior morals. And I was trying to make sense of all that because, you know, the guy that was training me was a whore monger who spent his, he made, kind of cool.

He made 10 to 20 grand a month every month. And it was broke by the end of the month every month. I loaned that man money before for like, he needed a hundred dollars one night. Yeah, yeah. Okay. He's my manager. Like, this is the guy who's like, sold so many cars that were. like we got to make him a manager we got to like

this guy needs to be training salesman he's he's he's making 20 grand a month but he's always broke he's got two ex-wives and he's a whoremonger like constantly at strip clubs constantly with actual prostitutes showing up and shit like that it's like well I don't want to be like this guy and then

Sergei literal confessed rapist tried to involve me and a rape you know hard to be friends with that guy and then so Hamid I think it was Hamid, Habib, I think it was Habib. Habib, I was like, all right, this little Moroccan dude's okay. You know, he seems only up and up. He doesn't seem weird or anything. One day I go to his townhouse. And there's like five other Arab dudes just sitting in there like with no shirts on.

And they're watching the like Muslim prayer thing at Mecca or whatever. And then look at me like a Martian just walked in the room. You joined in? they didn't ask me to. They didn't ask me to, but I just remembered, you know, 9-11 was fresh in our memories. It was 2005, you know?

Oh, they should have been some more more private. Well, they were in their home. They were in their home. More private. They were in their house. They're in the basement.

Yeah, I remember thinking, I think these guys might be up to no good. These guys might have to know good. When they were doing the thing where they bow and put their forehead on the ground, you should have stood in front of them. just like, yes, as if they were worshipping you.

Yeah, they might have taken that poorly and beaten me to death, as is their way. It'd be a dope story. Yeah, it was hard to find a role model in that group of adults because everybody was pretty, pretty shitty and skeezy. Everybody had a scam or a side hustle or something that was borderline criminal. A lot of them were criminals. Yeah, car salesmen are a motley crew. It is the reputation. Well, I think I've said it before, but the general manager, like, had federal drug charges on him.

He was, who doesn't? He was running, like, a drug empire, and he had hired, like, his former drug crew as salesmen and managers. And, like, that was a known secret. Like, they would tell me, like, yeah, I used to run a little drug lab for CJ. It's like, oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Now you sell a lot. Yes, he does.

Lots of normal people have federal drug charges. That's not that big of deal. It's not a big deal. Not a big deal. All it happens. Once you get the pardon, it's coming. Oh, it's coming. Is it?

No. Yeah. I hope so. That would be awesome. I wonder if the schedule one thing is happening. I looked it up like a week ago. Marijuana has not been reclassified. So like Biden did a thing.

that resulted in nothing. Now Trump's done a thing. I think it's too early to say it resulted in nothing. It was only like a month or two ago. But I wonder how that will land. I mean, they've fibbed to us before plenty of times on that. So I don't know.

Hopefully, that would be great. And hopefully that would mean that people like Kyle get expunged or whatever the fuck. But I trust his opinion on it more than me. And he seems to believe it is entirely hopeless. Like there's no chance in hell ever in a million years. It always seems to be that whenever they talk about pardoning people, it's for like people who got caught using it.

Whereas while he didn't actually sell it and he wasn't accused of selling it, he was accused of distributing it, which I guess was to like people, like friends and family and girls. And distributing it, no one wants to forgive them. Nope. They should forgive old Kyle. What did he even do other than order of illicit substance through the federal post. office. I mean, I didn't think anyone check the mail.

Oh, they're checking. They're going to. I know. I find the onions. I find all the onions in the mail. So Taylor, as soon as this show ends, what are you going to do? What does your right after show vibe look like? I am going to immediately drink some chicken broth.

Okay. And try not to vomit. at like the last hour, I'm now feeling like, have you been getting, you're vomiting? No, you've been vomiting. And I'm like, I'm trying my best not to because I'm drinking all these electrolyte hydration drinks. And so I'm going to lay in my bed and then oscillate

between sweating through my sheets and comforter and being freezing. I think probably until I can't bear it anymore tomorrow morning and get up. Like that, I'm so when Kyle stood up just now, I was in my head. I was like, you can get through this. You're not going to throw up. And then him getting up and making it clear that like I can't now does that thing where it's like my belly is like, well, what if you really needed to, huh?

What if you did? And it's like, well, I guess I'd have to go and then just turn back here. It's okay. I would sing. I only know one song and it's about a reindeer for Christmas. But I would sing, man, I would carry the show on my own. I appreciate that. I'm a vomitist.

Man, I'm on a good streak. I haven't thrown up in a good while. I don't remember the last time. I hope I don't ruin it. Oh. Yeah, I'll keep my wife's chili away from you. Dude, my fiance is like heating up chicken broth and that smell making it in here and making me want to yak now. Really?

Yeah. Like it was the beginning of the show, I just felt shitty in every other way. And then it was like, sorry. And then I said. A big old faggot. My wife cooks. He's got man cold, everybody.

Dude, if this is the worst cold, man, just about every meal that I eat. But something about her making soup because I don't feel well

warms my heart and soul and makes me feel so loved that it's just like, oh, it's the nicest thing anyone's ever done. I hope I can keep it down.

Negative. What did you, uh, Are you caught up on fallout? There's eight episodes that's the end of the season I know I think I'm one episode shy I didn't realize there was another Okay, they closed it out and left you know plenty of room for season three Did you enjoy the last episode and did it answer questions that you had like Was it a proper finale? Yeah, I suppose so there was nothing like mind-blowing that happened, but I liked how it went

There were some redemption arcs. There were some cool fights there was some monster battling and you know I'm mostly focused on the ghoul's character I like Walton Gaghan's character me too the most so I felt like his story has the most to do in season three he got to the bottom of some stuff

and then they do such a good job of integrating you know of utilizing and drawing upon the video game that I'm just like every step I'm like that's what it looks like that's exactly what it looks like when they get their mister the top of the lucky third 38 casino and you see like where Mr.

House's like computer screen is with his face on. It's like that's what it looks like. They built it. They made the thing exactly like this game that I've played hundreds and hundreds of hours of. And like I know this room. I've been here before. And there it is with Walton Goggins in it now.

That's that sells me big time. Even if I'm like, it's not as charming and not quite as poppy and funny as, as maybe season one was. And I'm wishing there was a little more of that. but yeah I give it a definitely a B plus in season one

I was very invested in the girl's story I forget her name and then the black guy who she partnered with because they kind of became a team for part of it I really like that and I liked Walter Goggins story

but he was the second tier for I'm sorry Walton Gagins but in season two it was really about the ghoul about him more so than the girl and the girl lost me with her over the top naivity. Like, dude, as a slow learner, I look at her and say, get it together.

Yeah. Come on. That kind of is what season two is about, I would, I think, is her finally coming to terms with, that the surface changes people, that, that, you know, the rules that work in the vault don't work up top side. I feel like she kind of gets with the program a little bit by the end. So I, yeah, B plus for season two. felt like season one was an A plus, or at least an A, and I felt like season two was a B plus, which is pretty typical of the way modern TV shows are done. They knock it out of the part with that first season, ask a lot of questions, and then they spend four more seasons dancing around the answers in subpar quality. That seems to be the business model that makes the most money, keeps the most viewer retention for better or worse.

I think you're right on everything you said. Every once in a while, I feel like maybe Invincible is a good example where like season two they heard the criticism and season three rebounded. I'm excited for this new season of that. I haven't seen any, I think there's a trailer, a teaser trailer, but I've only seen a few still images.

I know Thrag is going to be a big part of. You haven't watched the season four trailer? No, I don't do that. Well, then I won't tell you much about it. But I've read the books. I know it's coming.

but I'm sure that Thrag is coming and I'm sure that Jeffrey Dean Morgan's character that's been locked up in that Adamantium fucking shell I'm sure he's getting out whatever his name is Apocalypse or some shit I don't remember

that he was the one that won't He played Conquest? Conquest. What a cool fucking name. That's one of the coolest, scariest villains I've ever seen in anything. Like when he leans in the mark and he whispers his deepest, darkest secrets

he's like, I'm too good at my job. No one likes me. They send me out to conquer. I don't even have a name, just a purpose. And you know what? I hate it. And he's like whispering like his deepest, darkest, like confessions to this man. And it's because he's about to murder him.

I can just imagine laying there all beaten and broken and hearing this thing. What the fuck? I thought he was going to beat me up. This is fuck. Like he's he's not only just incredibly overpowered, but he's just He's he's he's he's evil. He's and he's insane and he clearly is a sadistic person. You know, he's like I'm gonna tear your little brother apart while you watch Don't do that Yeah, I'm psyched for the new season of that big time. I'm really like for season for season for I'm dancing around why because you haven't you purposely avoided the trailer and any spoilers

that it brings. But there's plot lines coming up that I look forward to. So it should be super cool. I know it's hard to drag Jackie away from burnt peanut, but I'm telling you that... Can't be done. That night of a Seven Kingdom show,

those characters are charming. Like, already, like, I'm like, this is my guy. Dude, last night. Last night I was like, all right, let's check this out. He's like, I don't want to start a new show. It's already 10-15. And I'm like, that is not too late to watch a TV show.

But, you know, but let's ride. Here we are with Bert Peanut. Do you watch Peanut at all? No. It's not my cup of tea. I don't like the over-the-topness and I don't like the V-Tuber thing.

And I'm kind of done with that game too, so like the content doesn't interest me. Like if it were a game I was super into, I could probably get drawn into it. Although I usually like lean towards the guys who are like the tactic guys. Because that's like where I can improve. I'm not going to get better clicking on things after decades of clicking on things.

But I might learn a tactic or a technique or a strategy. So I usually watch those guys for gaming stuff. And I don't watch anybody really for. Intentionally makes bad decisions because they're more entertaining, right? If there's three people over there, he rushes to the 1v3 and gives it a go. One and five times he actually lands on top. The other two, he hopes that his teammates can salvage the situation that he left them. So he's making decisions for entertainment value and it does work for him.

The first time I saw him, I said I wasn't his target. He's just not after fucking 50-some-year-old dads. That's not who he's going for. Bro, I kept watching. I kept getting fucked in. I'm playing with my friends. and Jackie comes blasting through the door. And she's like, tonight,

tonight, Officer Fadass and Gloxie are both playing with Peanut. His worlds are coming together. And I was like just as excited as she was. No way. Officer Fadass, I'm in. You know, like boys, we got to end on time tonight. So I had a, when I was getting into Tarkov for the first time, like hot and heavy and I was playing all day every day. and when I wasn't playing, I was watching Tarkov videos with my girlfriend at the time.

And she got so into the videos. She was like, she had her favorite YouTuber. She's like, are we going to watch Aqua FBS tonight? I'm like, yeah, yeah, we'll see what Aqua's up to. And we'd watch Aqua stream on my TV in the living room, like cuddled up on the couch for hours. Like, like, she's like using his phrases and, you know, he's got, he's got his own stream talk. She's talking about Wang jangling things and such. And just like sort of bonded over this random YouTube.

I don't think we ever had him on here. We might have. I like Aqua a lot. I would love to have him if we haven't. Okay. I'd love to have. He's very chill. Yeah, I've watched him.

He's not, he doesn't compete amongst the best players at Tarkov, but there's value in that too. So that was sort of, when I started watching him, he was like new to the game. I think he had played Rust before. Rust was his game before,

and he had been drug over into the Tarkov scene sort of in the middle of the game's life by one of his friends and he was learning as he went and so watching him learn as he went was really entertaining and watching him get his first kill here and there and start winning some fights

and he was always, when you watch somebody like who's been playing the game for thousands of hours, they'll do something outrageous and they won't be that pumped about it because they've done it before but every time Aqua does a thing he's yeah! Oh, if he finds a fucking lead ex, it's going to be

fucking fireworks are going off and we're doing a little dance and everything. So it's fun to watch someone who still has that joy and passion and like childish glee about the game. I watched a short that Peanut put it. So Peanut doesn't stream Sundays.

And then to our surprise he didn't stream Monday. And people were like, you know, ah, he skipped the stream. He doesn't care. He doesn't that. He's like, listen, nobody is more distraught about me not streaming than me. This is all I do. I don't have anything else going on in my life. He's agoraphobic maybe or agoraphobic adjacent. He never leaves the house. The job he had before

streaming was like telephone sales. And he's like, if I'm not in this room, I'm in the room next door, doom scrolling on TikTok. This is better. This is all I want to do. And I was convinced like he, this is his jam. He's like, he said, when I'm, streaming, I'm in my prime. He loves it. He loves doing it. Of course. It's got to be a constant dopamine hit as the dollars roll in while you play a game you love. You know what I mean? Like what can he not like? He just needs somebody sucking his dick and he's just a nirvana. Both of us have experienced the come up, although it pales in completely every generation does even bigger and better than the one before. And it's like people are loving you. Your financial world is changing. You feel

successful in kind of a grown-up way that matters. Like this isn't winning a beer league cocky championship, which also feels successful. This is like, I feel a prestige around me. And you're being proven right every day in dollars and cents and views and subs. Like this thing that people may have scoffed at before that they didn't understand or they couldn't perceive, it's making it rain in a way that's hard to understand. you've never been part of it. Like if you've just worked a normal job your whole life,

you get that 2% raise and you're like, all right, let's go. My God, imagine getting a 400% raise every day for six months straight. Like it just keep like, you know, it's crazy.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. So what he's doing, it's like he's sitting in a slot machine that never loses. And as long as he sits there, it keeps never losing. It's got to be tempting to just not sleep,

to just pop Adderall and grind. He was the biggest streamer last month, like bigger than Asben. Like he's number one guy. And it's watched or like what metric? I just saw it on Reddit or Twitter. Does he do eight hour streams, 12 hour streams? What does he do? I think they are eight and I don't know what metric made him the biggest viewers.

I have to do 12 hours. You'd have to do 12 hours with those numbers. Like could you resist doing 12 hours at those numbers? Yeah. I wonder how long it lasts. So I always underestimate how long some, like just how far and flat the top of the bell curve can be. You know, I have this idea that his bell curve might be a peaky, right?

Like what if Marathon replaces our graders or something? But I hope I'm wrong. He seems like a good guy. His personality driven too. That's the point of his channel. So he can transition to any game. Like that's the beauty of what he does. And, you know, shrouds mechanics are so good that they transcend all of that.

And so you'll watch him dominate at any game he sits down at and be happy to see the domination and the mechanics. But when you're personality driven, when you're comedy driven, when you have a shtick like he does with the V-Tuber peanut thing and all the in jokes and stream talk and culture that he's built, he can keep that rolling in perpetuity. He can be summit if he wants to. He can just keep going 10 years from now, 15 years from now, playing Arc Raiders 8. Like, absolutely, he can change games as long as it's a similar vibe that the audience is going to, like, vibe with. I think marathon fits that perfectly. He could easily, like, be marathon, man. He bought some generous gifts for the people that he streams with, Christmas gifts.

And I was reading it. Basically, there's this thing. He's playing with this woman named Gingy. They're not romantic. They're just, they're streamers that play together. And she's like, peanut, I have a question for you. Did you buy me Pokemon cards? And he's like dodging the question.

And she's like, I have been racking my head. I am late to this stream because I got, I got Pokemon cards, which is like her thing. She's passionate about them. And he's like, how many did you get? She's 150 packs. And he's like, there's 50 missing. And she's like, I know it was you.

And she did get the other 50 eventually. I found that out. And it's just, it was a perfect present for her. He bought Officer Fadass, I think a BMW S 1000R or something like that. Oh, a very, this is a motorcycle. A motorcycle. Oh, oh. And if you're not a motorcycle guy, this is.

a classy sports bike. It is a great go fast bike, but like with class and nice. Yeah, yeah. Like there might be a Kawasaki that performs on a similar level, but this one has Panache. And, uh, do you know what the paint scheme he got? Because the BMW, BMW has like a red, white and blue paint scheme on these. I'm seeing that looks like iconic. Yeah. I would guess it was that one. That's their popular one. But I'm like, someone must have coached him to buy this bike or he knew that officer fat ass dreamed of this bike or something because it like I don't know if I were to buy you a baseball glove you'd probably say oh thanks Woody it's a good thought but it's not the right one this is the right one is what I'm trying

to get to so anyway it seems like sport bike I want the Indian this would be a good call okay no I want the Indian I want the Indian sport bike that's the sickest one that there is to me the Indian sport bike Yeah, I'll show you. Yeah, why can't I picture it? Oh, I think I have seen it. The FTR. Yes, I know this bike. I like it too.

Interesting that it's so much different than the rest of their lineup. Indian kind of makes bikes that mostly compete with Harley. And then out of the blue, this one's something different. It's so badass. It's so bad. The reason I didn't get it is because obviously it's $14,000, I think, is where it is. it's where it is that was more than I wanted to spend but also it was way too much power like it was for the first bike for a new bike I wanted yeah I wanted to start off with something sort of

medium power and this is a rocket ship but I love the styling I like just the Indian logo is sick to me I like the color scheme I like all the Indian bikes Indian butt doesn't make an ugly bike to me they're all like they're my favorite brand of bike I like that they're the the American brand I appreciate that a lot and I I like I like every single one of the bikes Indian makes. They're all, when I see one in the streets, I always like, fucking nice bike, man. So fucking nice bike.

I almost bought that one. That's nice. I love it. Fortnite made a video that tried to like break down into math why that bike is so beautiful. And it was wildly convincing just how to all the different lines and how they convert, what converge,

what was parallel and how it fit together. And like, it's hard to describe why something's beautiful. Everyone just sort of knows what they like. And he did an effective job. It made me want one. It was a great bike. They're beautiful.

And I think the performance is pretty intense. Yeah. Taylor, were you sick? No, I held back. I almost was like three times. People better. You're laying down? What?

Were you laying down? No, I was sitting down and leaning back and trying to like breathe slow and being like, you can't vomit right now. You just drink a bunch of electrolytes and fluids. You're going to set yourself back. And so I just sat there and like focused on not yet. for a minute. When I was at my lowest, I went to, there's a guest room like 30 feet from here.

And I laid down and I was like 120 seconds. You can skip work for 120 seconds. The boys will carry you for 120 seconds. They would say yes if you asked. I didn't ask. But I just need it a moment. I just needed a moment. So you don't know what, but you carried me while I was sick.

Thanks. Thank you guys for carrying me while I'm saying. Look at this. That's how, that's how the world to go around. I didn't like it. I told me what he was just kicking me a call. We were trashing your work ethic while you were doing it. We're doing the map on docking your pay. This isn't even worse illness.

What do you see? There's Apple reviews now. Quitter. Not a gamer. Yeah, I was only out for like, what would Jordan say? I mean Whatever Jordan's flu was like It wasn't like this

Ray that was probably nothing I heard of you Flew episode I couldn't play basketball right now Because I don't have to pretend flu That he made up to gamble Mm-hmm What

I heard It was the name of the great Michael Jordan He was hitting my teeth I mean I thought he was pretty good In the Apollo movie Yeah I thought Space Jam was was amazing

I loved Space Jam as a kid My fiance came up with me to like with the the chicken broth being like here take this back in with you and as she got close to me i was like i can't almost threw up praise christian bales physical transformations but what michael jordan did from space jam to apollo dwarfs all that shit space jam rocks that was a good movie i don't remember apollo which a what was that it was a rocky movie oh i thought you're talking about Michael Jordan. I thought one of the aliens in space jam.

Michael Jordan doesn't play Apollo Creed. Who plays Apollo Creed? He died like two years ago. Yeah. It's Carl Weathers. No, that's the old Apollo. No, I'm doing the new Apollo, the movie Apollo, Apollo Creed. That's Michael B. Jordan.

Exactly. a different human being that can't be you're joking right you didn't joke Michael B. Jordan the actor who's like 30 who just played in sinners the movie that's nominated for 16 Oscars this year was

the basketball playing Michael Jordan you're just being silly he's 38 he's Michael Jordan I saw it I checked be Jordan he was in the wire when you're right you're right Woody I don't know why he's being so difficult you think

this He looks amazing in this. There's no way that you think that this is Air Jordan, the man who the shoes. Michael Jordan. That's Michael B. Jordan. They don't all look alike. I refuse to believe that you.

Jordan goes without saying. I don't know why you keep saying it in a weird way. I don't know why you're pretending like you don't know that Michael B. Jordan is a different human being. See? This is the physical transformation. Same guy. That makes Christian veil look like a bitch. Not even the same color.

Bring up a picture of both of them. The difference between cocoa powder and like coffee with too much milk in it. Like it's not even the same complexion. Yeah. Well, they're different. I'm impressed. Levels of black. Different.

It could be light. One's like 73 and one's 38. So that's big. It looks the same. I don't know if you saw Taylor, but Sinners, the movie that Michael B. Jordan there was in. this year. The vampire movie is nominated for 16 Oscars, the most of any movie ever. More than Lord of the Rings.

I don't like that already. I haven't seen the movie, but there's no way it's Lord of the Rings. I saw the movie. I felt like it was one of those movies that got higher ratings because of the momentum of the black director, black cast, black themes, white guilt than it deserved. I thought it was an okay movie. I really liked the music. in it. I thought that was very well done, but I didn't like the white guilt that was packaged in it and subtext, subtextually. I caught on. Yeah, caught on. Yeah, it looks pretty hand-handed. I bet everybody caught on. They definitely did not. It's, it's a really well-made movie, really well-shot movie, really well-acted movie, interesting premise. It's just not 16 Oscars.

It's probably the best movie of last year, though. It really is. When Hutch asked me a couple weeks ago, like what was the best movie of last year? I was like, fuck, there weren't any good movies last year. They're really, I watched them all. I've seen every Oscar nominee. I've seen every movie that came out last year that was worth watching. There weren't any good ones. There was weapons. I don't think long, I don't know if Long Legs was last year. That feels like two years ago now. That was interesting. But there weren't a lot of great movies. And so Seners probably deserves a lot of those Oscars. I just wasn't. it wasn't the end-all-be-off,

which is what they're making it out to be. The same way that Black Panther got that treatment when it came out. It's the same director. Okay. I think he's also the director of that boxing movie. I think he also made creed. What's the horror movie?

Get Out? I think it might have been called. Yeah, yeah. That's Jordan Peel's movie from Key & Peel. And that's the one where they like took people's bodies and put old ones into new ones. Yeah, where the girl is luring the white, the black boyfriends to her family.

The mom can hypnotize and take their bodies. That was a good movie, but the world treated it like it was one of the cinematic masterpieces of the 20th century or 21st century. Yeah, what do they call it the soft racism of low expectations or something like that? Yeah, I've heard that, yeah. Hollywood loves that kind of shit because they're all kind of on the same team. Yeah, I thought Get Out was a very good thing. I like Jordan Peel.

I thought it was just good. It wasn't bad. I'm not saying it was bad at all. But I was surprised that people thought it was such a blockbuster. Yeah. I mean, again, yeah, I think it's a really good movie. I don't think it's, I think, I give it an A. It's an A in my, like, Kyle's rating book, you know.

It's, I liked it a lot. I watched it in prison, actually. Me and Snow. Hey, they're taking that guy's body. I am curious. about the Melania movie. You want to see the Melania movie? I just

sounds like I have to know. It's about the 30 days leading up to the inauguration or something. Do I have that right? I bet they'd be a lot of footage from that is my guess. I thought it was like her life. You saw that Britt Ratner's, you saw that Britt Ratner, who's the director, and he's a well-known Hollywood director. He's done a lot of things. He's

not only in the Epstein files, he's one of the few pictured guys. He's there snuggled up with two underage girls and Epstein, and that photo drops. two days or something they're about I think that was Melania he's spooning Melania but they cover her face in the Epstein files

I don't I haven't heard that these are smaller these are smaller one of the theories is that Epstein introduced Melania to Trump that's they're trying to make that a thing oh I didn't know that was in question oh definitely in question yeah okay I didn't know that

that is definitely not Trump's version of things you gotta be careful there's a bunch of stuff in there that we don't like did you see that Joe Biden, Jeffrey Epstein said that Joe Biden was killed in 2019 and men and masks were used subsequently. And so it's like... Show me that. I'm going to link for that, buddy.

Alex Jones might have gotten your ear again. I can't believe what you said. You can read it. Jesus. I want to. Pass the gole on me. I thought Epstein introducing Melania to Trump was accepted fact. No, it'd be a big find if that were true.

Fuck. I swear I wouldn't. work so hard to be skeptical of like every claim I see. And that one wasn't salacious enough to me to like even be bad. Like it, I don't know. It would be a big deal if a guy who is known for trafficking Eastern European women to men of power while they're underage for sexual purposes had introduced the sitting president to his Eastern European quasi supermodel wife. In my head, to me it wouldn't because she was in their 40s at least, I think, when they met. And so, you know, like, if...

So here's what he said. He says, Biden is not your current president. The mask malfunctions on Biden are getting worse each day on purpose. They will end badly for blank, who is posing with a fucking clone on Facebook. The dude who played Biden ain't Biden. Real Biden was an evil, sick, angry man who abused children,

including his own children. That's an actor with a fucking mask. We've been over this a thousand times. appears to be Jeffrey Epstein emailing about it. And he spelled Biden, B-I-D-A-N. Can I get a link? In a couple of them. Ye.

Oh. Is this one? That's what I mean is like, I think they are throwing horseshit out there in addition to it. Fuck. I, I, I'm disappointed. I'll have to be better. Because I think my self-impression, my impression of myself is that I'm very skeptical and not much gets past the goalie. Like everything I read, I'm like, don't trust this picture.

Verify it. Dude, this came from Reddit. Verify, verify, verify. And somehow this one wasn't salacious enough in my heart, you know, because she was a grown woman. And I wouldn't care if they were introduced by freaking Charles Manson. That doesn't have any relation to who they are. No real bearing. there's too much intentional misinformation it's hard to see through stuff

and they just they posted a bunch of documents that were anonymous FBI tips with very salacious things and then they removed them and then they put them back at least some of the ones i saw yeah they had to know because i saw people being dishonest clipping those and being like check this crazy story out and then it's like it says on that same document like this person was interviewed it was a person with no bearing whatsoever like that it was investigated and came up bunk. But they have to release it, yes. So I didn't hear about investigated and came up bunk,

but I didn't hear of there were anonymous FBI tips put in there. And when I see that, I'm like, okay, man, everyone, apply the same standard of proof. Like, I heard Joe Rogan reporting factually that the Clintons had like 70 people murdered. And I'm like, okay. So your standard of proof is really low if it's the other guys. If it's your guys, then suddenly you have to see it yourself to believe that a bad thing happened. And that I hate.

Just keep it, keep it consistent. It's hard. 38,000 mentions is as clear as I need to get. Well, 38,000 is the, that's not correct. 38,000 is in New York Times, what do they call it, proprietary software, and it includes Trump, Melania, and to quote them, various related words. and phrases. And so that makes sense.

But they're saying how many times Trump's name. Trump's name was in there. And that's not true. In for penny and for pound. If they're mentioning Melania Trump, Donald Trump, Jr., any of the Trump family, then that's good enough for me. And again, it's 28,000, more than 10 times the second. 38 is the number. 38, my bad.

Trump itself has 4,798. So far. Who knows? You know, there could be more. So only double? You know what I mean? It's clear. It's clear that this is the guy. No matter how you parse the numbers or divide them or exclude mentions of his wife, his sons, his business, or his companies. You exclude all that. Still, he's the guy.

He is seemingly the center of the files. And he was Epstein's best friend for over a decade. He was Epstein's friend seemingly after Epstein got caught being a pedo the first time. Like, he's, he's the center of this thing. If Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia drew one of those yarn maps to, like, work this out, he'd solve it in half an hour. He'd be like, ah, there'd be a big picture of Trump in the middle. Yeah, Charlie would absolutely wrap this one. I don't trust Charlie.

He's, he's not very good at those things. He got, the only example we have of him doing it is he got it totally wrong. Can't get, that's true. He's a bit of a wild part. I'll think Sylvia seemingly was a made-up person. that's fair. But with another yarn, I'm sure I could make you believe Donald Trump is a pedophile mastermind devil worshipper, which I'm like 85% sure now that he is. My biggest frustration is the like right wing newsosphere who, you know, suddenly they loved it when it was about Clinton. It's all they wanted to talk about. Now that it's about Trump, these young ladies were business women. They knew what they were signing up for. You know, he's not technically a pedophile. It's a herbivophile. It's a herbivism. file or whatever hepar file

thank you um you know they like their gumies they uh um I just see them painting it in an entire plant now that

now that Trump is the middle the focus of the Epstein files it's like yeah we're still talking about this normalizing Joe fucking Rogan Joe fucking Rogan acting like you know this was all going it's not a big deal now

he's carrying water for him just wild Joe Rogan was invited the island he turned it down like he did the principal

thing you didn't want of me to do with it good for Jim we tried to get let's go and wrap up for Taylor vomits on air

as much as I would love to see that I feel like it'd be hey did you see the new show yeah Taylor vomits at the end it's great it's all over himself

he did that like baby vomit thing or he just went and just puked all over himself looks like he's not eating well I'm gonna say with Taylor

needs to hear PKK 790