Painkiller Already - PKA 793 W/ Trout & Goblin: Lets Get Married At Taco Bell

Episode Date: February 28, 2026

PGA 793, two guests tonight because Taylor's on his honeymoon, King Trout, and Goblin. Kyle? All the sponsors are down below in the description, join the Patreon, buy our cummy pills, and get our stickers over at the merch store. Mm-hmm. What are we starting with? Hockey? I mean, I'm interested in that thing with Brandon Herrera running for state, state, state, it's state Congress. Is that what it is?

House of rent, right? Yeah, House of rent, yep. Okay, okay. Texas District 23. So you'd know better than anybody, but what I heard was that his opponent who was, I suppose, leading and like a head, someone who worked for him, like he had an affair with them, and then that woman burnt herself alive as a suicide method? Yeah, so last cycle two years ago, Brandon ran against the incumbent Republican, Tony Gonzalez and Tony Gonzalez only won in a runoff election by 400 and some votes. I'm thinking it's it's right around that number.

Well, he and Brandon had a conversation, sat down, shook hands. And Brandon was like, hey, the only reason I ran against you is because I didn't like the way you were voting. He's like, let's just shape that up. Like vote like an actual Republican. You know, we're here in a super conservative district in Texas. and he did not do that. And so came up for re-election again. Brandon decided to run yet again.

And it came to light that Tony, his opponent, the incumbent congressman in Texas District 23, was having an affair. Tony's married. He's got like six kids, I think. Tony's married. He's got this staffer that was working for him. She's also married.

has an eight-year-old. They're having an affair. Her marriage kind of fell apart. Her husband found out about it. And so her husband skipped down, rightfully so, like grabbed the kid and was like, no, we're not dealing with us. She kind of got pushed to the wayside by Tony.

And then in an act of retaliation, I guess, killed herself by dousing herself in gasoline and lighting herself on fire. Fuck. Yeah. That's a horrific way to die. I remember that guy. Well, a couple years ago, that guy burned himself alive at like the capital or something like that. It was a military base. Yeah, it was like in defense of Palestine or whatever. I saw the video of him burning. And if it's, I saw a video of some guy burn alive a while back and it looked horrific. He was burning for so, so long. It is not like in the movies. Even in the movies, they make it seem like a horrific thing.

I was not to say, I've never seen it look good in the movies. Oh, let me tell you what, real life, way worse, way worse. Because it doesn't kill you. What kills you is you eventually inhale hot gases and they like scorch your lungs and then you pass out. But if the wind's blowing the right way, you just roast and melt. You're melting while you're alive. Your fat is rendering off of you like a suckling bird. Well, did you all see the video?

This is like years back. I think I was like in high school of back when ISIS was recording everything. With that song, they always play the hundle-la-la-da. That's what the banners. I've got an Arabic buddy, and he knows the words to that fucking song. And, like, he'll start. Somebody would play it as a sound bar in video games to, like mess with the enemy team. And all of a sudden, he starts, like, singing along like its old McDonald had a farm or some shit.

Oh, terrifying. Don't hang out with that guy. But they had that Georgian pilot that they put in that cage. And everything was in, like, 4K recorded, terrifying. Do these audio get quiet for everyone? Yeah, you got quiet for me too. Yeah, Maxed out, I was yelling. Yeah, how terrifying a way that is to go.

And you have a text message. Her husband, the staffer who killed herself, her husband came forward and was like, hey, you know, like this guy, he's an evil man. Like, we got to bring everything to light. and had forensic analysis done on her cell phone to prove or to bring up those text messages that she had been having with Tony Gonzalez. And those only a few of them got published.

I've heard there are thousands, but only a few of them got published. And it's him pressuring her to send nudes. He's like, she's like, oh, did you only hire me because you think I'm hot? and he's like, send me a sexy picture. And I'm paraphrasing. There's your answer. She's so good at clerical work. Get you in titty's out.

Wait, it gets worse. Dude, it gets way worse. And she's like, no, I've had like a really bad week. Like, I don't feel very sexy right now. And he just said, he responds, hurry, just the word hurry. And he's like, what's your favorite position? And she's like, I don't know that I'm comfortable having this. conversation with you like are you sure you're sober right now and he goes yes and he goes

mine finds me pinning your legs back on top of you and then he hits her up and he sends a singular word with a question mark at the end it just says anal this this would be funny if she hadn't burnt herself alive wouldn't yeah she did leave mine and then i like white my ton this would what am i looking at if that happened uh you're looking at the text messages i wear in my life. But no, it looks like a receipt. No, so that's like the, so far as I understand it's like the forensic analysis, it's showing it's not just a screenshot. It's like showing the like data on the back end of that text. Well, see like this part, I don't mind it all. Like clearly had an affair. What I,

what I care about is we're both of them were involved, right? You know, what I care about is did he pressure her in any way to do that to herself? Because I know there was that case where that girl pressured that boy into killing himself. And he's like in his car, feeding the exhaust and gas in himself. And he's like, I can't do this. I can't do this. I feel so dizzy. And she's like, get back in the car. Get back in. Like texting him. And she and he did. killed himself. Which I don't with with what's out right now. I don't know. Yeah. This is going too far. He clearly like pressured her. This is at the very beginning. He like pressured her into having a fair. He's in a position of power over her. And yeah, that's going too far.

our boss so how long you thought i was this hot yeah she's just like did you only hire me because you think i'm pretty and then he hits her up with the crazy shit like send dudes what's your favorite position anal which i don't know about you guys i've never sent that text message before i've never said that message that one looks like it goes both ways though this is going too far how long have you thought i was hot is a little like no no but tell me more yeah little bit. She's definitely not blameless in this because she was, you know, she went along with it. They clearly had an affair. It sounds like these messages are maybe from the, the beginning of the affair that she was so invested in that she burnt herself alive, which again, I can't fathom.

I can't fathom doing that. He said, show me those titties. And she said, I don't really feel sexy right now. She didn't say like, what the fuck? What are you on? Like, what are you about? It sounds like he's seen him be already. Yeah, she's not blameless in this whole thing. They're equally culpable in their shared affair that they had. I'm like, obviously, I'm root for Brandon, but I'm just surprised in this day and age in politics that an affair even bothers anybody. It used to just knock you right out of a race, out of even consideration, your party would have been in you. When you're selling yourself as like a, you know, Christian conservative family man and you're going behind your wife's back. Sure, sure.

That's definitely a strong point. If part of his whole stick is family values and, you know, return to conservatism and you're running around behind your wife's back, that's definitely not practicing what you preach. That's a bad look. Because if I was running in it, like, it came out, it came to light that it was like, oh, King Trout sent salacious text messages.

Granted, with a staffer is completely different. But otherwise, if they were like, oh, you know, he fucks three chicks a week, it's like, oh, breaking news, straight man gets pussy. Everyone liked that. Some political analysts have been saying he'd already be out of office right now if the majority wasn't so slim. But because they have, is it literally a one vote lead right now? I think they win the tie too. I'm not sure.

But it's so slim that they need them to vote along with the Republicans so they don't lose the majority. And it doesn't matter if you're an adulter who's a fair partner killed herself. So long as you're a Republican, it's chill. Is there anything to indicate that why she killed herself? Like, is there some sort of text chain where she's like, all, all, or anything like that? I don't. I guess what I'm asking is, could it be completely unrelated

that this lady killed herself? Like, like, maybe she just killed herself for some other reason. Like, sure, she's having an affair with the guy, I believe all that. Maybe he put it off and it ended. But is that the reason? Do we know definitively that she? burnt herself alive. Like that to me,

that is so ridiculous to burn yourself alive that I'm like, did she? Did she burn herself alive? Or did somebody set her on fucking fire? I don't know. So far as I know, she did it on camera. She like turned her camera on because she was trying to,

like prove a point essentially to like her husband. Because again, he grabbed her kid. And so far as I understand, um, his staff, Gonzalez's staff kind of pushed her to the wayside after her husband found out about the affair. He finds out his wife's cheating on him.

He grabs the kid and he's like, no, we're getting the fuck out of town, bud. And Tony's staff simultaneously pushes her to the wayside. And so now she's got basically like nothing left. She continued to work for Tony, which I think is really weird. But then- Well, she's not going to quit because she wants the relationship to continue, it sounds like, and he's not going to fire her because he has no cause. or all this would come to light, no pun intended.

And it makes it work with a dozen. Don't laugh. God damn. We didn't click at first. When you have a Zinger, do you think I have to do that? I take that back. But it was to prove a point like, hey, like, and I also heard, and this is kind of, I don't know if I'm, you know, supposed to speak on.

this actually I'm gonna take that back because none of this has come out yet so there's there's like more waiting in the wings but it's the husband is he's is holding back intentionally because he wants to preserve the memory of his his his son's mother essentially he doesn't want is his kids real active actually I met with him um the other day with with Brandon we had dinner with him um the husband oh wow yeah and um obviously he's he's curious about the situation but but he just wants to preserve the memory of his wife from his son's perspective because his son is like super into, you know, the internet. He's looking up his mom every day. Like it was seriously, it was like genuinely heartbreaking hearing it because he's he's eight years old.

And so he kind of has an understanding of what's going on, but not like, like, you're old's believe in Santa Claus. Yeah. He's going to know. Yeah. Mom's not coming home. But it's like he told us. story and this like that fucked me up was um he went into the refrigerator to grab a gatorade and he was like oh it's a it's a pink one he's like oh that's that's mom's favorite flavor

um he's like oh i'm gonna save that for mom and then the dad just had to be like yeah no you can have it like it's it's okay like he doesn't fully comprehend what's going on and so uh brandon posted a video about it the other day where he just he talked about the entire situation with the the text messages and everything. It started to go fund me for the husband, which thankfully is doing really well. That's, well,

not for the husband, for the son. It's all going into a trust for the son. He's just worried about his kid, obviously. It's a completely fucked situation. The refrigerator story, though. Then there was a bottle of red hot that makes me think about mom.

Jesus Christ. Oh my God. She loved it. Wow. I don't get it. I have to. some flaming hot Doritos last night. They're too fucking hot. I'm going to let you know right now.

Unrelated. Unrelated. They were actually too hot. I put it in the text chat. I was like, these are too much. I ate three and I'm done. He's hurt. Yeah, I can't do hot chips anymore. I feel like I stopped being able to do that like five years ago. You know what that is? Well, I don't want to say that.

No, that's truly one of the worst stories I've ever heard. Like, actually no. Because the day before yesterday, we were talking about the 11-year-old who shot his dad and killed his dad while his dad was asleep in bed. That one's a whopper too. Yeah, dad takes the 11-year-old's Nintendo away. Oh, I saw that.

And then I guess everybody goes to bed for the evening and the kid goes and grabs a gun, walks into the bedroom and shoots dad while he's in bed, kills him seemingly instantly. And now they're trying the 11-year-old as an adult, aggravated homicide, I think. I think this is a possible question. I don't have a good answer, but I'll ask you.

Okay. If you're king, how do you deal with an 11-year-old that murdered his father? Dude, that gets fucked in the head first off. I mean, I don't know, man. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I like, I got grounded all the time when I was a kid. And like, I never thought like, yeah, I'm going to go grab a steak knife and like, take care of that, you know?

That never even crossed my mind. I did cross mine. I was, when I first heard this story, I instantly thought like, I would get hit. Tell him a story. I related to this. And then I would wish, would he give us a backstory. It's too dark. It's too dark.

I just imagine you holding a steak knife to your, your parents. Through the mud for the 10,000th time. Are you afraid she'll hit you again? So after when I was like, you know, in tears, I would have these fantasies that should get run over by a tractor trailer. And then he would hear it and then back up. So when I hear about this 11-year-old, I'm like, you know, I wouldn't have thought that for a Nintendo loss.

But like, anyway, I'm like, fucking kids. They're not finished products is my core point. This is an 11-year-old. And I don't know what to do with them. Like on the lowest end, one minute of timeout for every year old. 11 minutes of time out. Okay, okay. And then on the other end, which seems to be the way they're going,

is try as an adult and lock them up forever. He's 11. He doesn't even understand forever yet. I think we're making about his rights and like his future too much. I think you need to look at it like, do I want him on the streets with me and mind? Do I want him to exist in the world with a expunged record after 18, just getting some job as an accountant somewhere.

And one day he just hauls off and fucking stabs Patel eight times in the ear with one of those things you punched papers down on or something. What would you like as you're like? It's your last meal. Dino Nuggies and Kraft Mac and cheese. So circling back goblin, your king, how do you deal with an 11-year-old murderer? Do you treat them like an adult, like a child, like somewhere? What do you do?

Well, I mean, with going back to what you said about how like you'd wish your mom got ran over by a tractor, like I feel like that's not the same thing. Like as wishing to do something yourself, you know? Like there's, I mean, dude, yeah. when you put it like that, there was definitely many times when I was a kid and I was like, yo, that bus better hit my dad, you know? Like, I mean, it is what it is. Like, what are you going to do?

But, like, I don't want to drive it. Like, you know, that's, I'll separate myself from that. But, like, dude, if I'm king, that kid's probably going to the gallows, bro. I'm not going to lie. Like, he might have to swing or something. I don't know. Like, how do you rehabilitate that? Like, at 11 years old.

Is it even real? Maybe we can utilize it. Maybe we send him to. some sort of military prison and we train him to be a soldier. Maybe we make him some sort of hunter killer. Just how we make CIA agents? We're clearly starting

with an 11-year-old sociopath with nothing to live for, right? But he's like the $6 million man before they made him the $6 million man. He's laying in that plane wreckage and like, but we have the technology. We can rebuild it. We can hand him an AK-40. Those guys over there, they took your switch.

I mean, they're 11-year-old. all over the country who put on a cape and jump off a roof or grab an umbrella and think they can fly like like it'll work as a makeshift parachute and these are people who just don't understand up from down have no concept of consequences they're just too young and too dumb and too incomplete to understand what their actions bring okay can go in second and i'm like so this is that but with murder but it's a similar kind it's a parallel having no idea what he's doing. But there's, like you said, across the country, there are a bunch of 11-year-olds who jump off of the roof thinking they're Batman and they can fly with an umbrella or whatever. And there are...

I can't fly, but we'll let that go. We'll let it slide. There's one 11-year-old who blasted his dad. All those same 11-year-olds have access to firearms. We live in America. And they get grounded from their switch or their iPad all the time and they don't

decide that the proper course of action is to shoot their father. Yeah. Yeah. I never... When I was punished, I never thought of like getting my parents back. I thought of like, God, I shouldn't have done that or I shouldn't have gotten caught doing that or I wish dad had caught me and not mom because she takes these fires way too

seriously. Like whatever I was in trouble for, you know? Like, I never thought like, you bitch, you bitch, I'll get you. I'll let the air out of your tires. so you wreck into the ditch on the ditch on the way to work. I didn't think anything like that ever. I love my mom and dad so much. Like,

even it'll, and it's hard to put myself back in the, the mental mindset of an 11 year old, but I'm trying, I'm trying. That's what, what grade is that fifth grade? Oh,

dude, this is insane for fifth grade. I was shooting, like, I was going hunting with my dad in fifth grade. Like, like, like,

I was operating a 12-gauge shotgun and a dove field in fifth grade. This is no excuse for this. That's, that's a rough, that's a rough one. Yeah. Would you have said like first grades excusable, kindergarten? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Because like in first grade I played, I remember playing like laser tag and Nerf with my cousins and stuff. And like, I don't think I had a concept. I mean, I had shotguns even in the first grade, but I was a, you know, a little brain. You know, you're just not, you're just not together enough to even understand the death and the finality of it. I was going to say, I guess it's kind of dependent on whether or not you even have a concept of death. Yeah. That's kind of why they say, I mean, I only have three kids, but I lost him in the divorce.

But isn't you're supposed to like get a pet essentially to teach your kids like shit dies. Am I right, Woody? Have you never heard that before? I haven't heard that before. You kill it right in front of them. You're like, yeah, yeah. We show you what happens when you play with guns. Bang!

I'll yell her I'm immediately. The pug. She wasn't even sick. Like getting a puppy when your kids are little and then they raise with it or they're raised with it. And then when they're about eight to 10 years old, the dog dies. And it's like, yep, that's death. You know, Max is gone forever type situation. When we talked about this a couple days ago, that's one of the things I mentioned to Woody.

Like I had this early idea of what death was in the danger of firearms from hunting. Because I had, I think I killed my first year when I was nine or something like that with a rifle. And it was like, he's not coming back. like you know it just it all connected when you when you've seen all that and you'd seen how dangerous guns are and the damage they do that that it's not the movies you're not going to get wounded you're going to get dead it you know if we if we call if we have a mistake or an accident or wave this thing at someone you know i never thought of guns in a joking way even as a child so they were never locked up like our guns were always i had the safe i had the safe combination when i was 12 at

the latest. Like as soon as I was able to remember three, two-digit combinations and left, left, right, right, and everything. Like, I'd have probably known it sooner. I just couldn't remember the fucking. You just put it in the same tree to learn the safe combination. That's an extreme end of like, I don't know, early growing up though, like having gun safe combinations as soon as you can remember three numbers.

Like, that's early. I didn't, I didn't touch a gun until I was in my 30s. No, that's not true. I did as a Boy Scout. But I didn't own a gun until my 30s. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also like how our American ancestors lived, you know, like guns all over the house, basically, to defend the place and hunt. And from an early age, you were an extra gun in the field to shoot rabbits and quail and whatever you were subsisting on potentially.

Like, you just knew and you grew up with them around. And there wasn't this, I always say when there's this fascination, you know, when my parents would leave, I would start, like, going up on the top shelves and getting the cookies out of the cookie jar and stuff. I'm going for the things that I'm denied when they're here. But I wasn't denied guns. So when my parents left, I didn't play with guns. I mean, I did if I wanted to, but I wasn't tempted to. It wasn't like, ooh, they're gone.

Let's get the guns out. It wasn't a special or unique thing or something I, you know, didn't have access to already. You think this kid is worth? Like, this kid is just so defective. You just throw them away? Is that the move? I think there's definitely something mortified. wrong with him. I don't know if killing him is the right move at 11 years old

but nice pad of room or something. Yeah, I don't know what else you could possibly do. Well, like those kids in England back in, it was like 1990. Yes, those two boys. Yes, on the train tracks that, like the shit that they did. And those guys are, they're out free now. Yeah. With its funds records, I think. Yes. You literally aren't allowed. I think you aren't allowed to like take a picture of them. Yeah. In the nation. They were like, roughly speaking, I think they were like 11 and 13 or something like that. 11 and 9 and 11, and they kidnapped a 5-year-old from the mall and took him off and beat him to death, tortured him and beat him to death.

Tortured him and I think sexually assaulted him and then killed him. Oh, God. Yeah, they crushed his skull with a pipe or a bar of metal. And then I think they left him on the train tracks. It would appear that the death was caused by a train hit. So I'm guessing they'd laid him over the rail and he probably got all smushed. cut in half. I think they put

batteries inside of him. That's where's the shooting dad in the head. That's so much worse because shooting dad in the head is 15 seconds of bad judgment. These guys spent a day being this. Oh yeah. There was always getting ready. But they like they were taking him across town and people were seeing them like sort of bully this little kid and nobody helped.

Nobody did anything. They were like they were slapping this little five year old around as they like drug him off to be murdered. That's a rough story. I'll say because the, well, I guess, well, that's a slightly different story. But like in my hometown, there was a, he was a kid who was like 14-ish, but he had mental issues, just a bit slow. And he got in trouble from his dad over something simple that he did.

And he went out in the garage, grabbed the hammer, and then beat both of his parents to death with a hammer. And he only got life. But he was, yeah, like 16. and that's way past, I guess, 11. Yeah. Yeah. St. Louis, I assume.

We were running joke about the amount of hammer-related homicides and assaults in St. Louis, Missouri. It's shocking. They're leading the league. If you just type in hammer attack, it just, it auto fills St. Louis. Like Google. Just the weapon of choice. I don't know.

It's, it's an ongoing thing there. They got to get some hammer control in St. Got a lot of angry carpenters in St. Louis. He had a lot of something there. I don't know what it is. If it was my, I was about to say if it was my 11-year-old, if it's my 11-year-old, I'm fucking dead.

If it's, if I'm the mom and I, mom's truly going to forgive him, that seems like a thing that moms could do. Like, if I'm his mom, I'm thinking like, let me get another, let this kid have another shot at life. But if I'm Joe Citizen. I'm going to sleep with the door locked, though. You goddamn right, we sleep with the door locked. But if I'm thinking from Joe Q public standpoint, don't put that kid back on the fucking streets.

Like that kid's damaged goods. If he weren't damaged goods before he did this awful thing, he's ruined now. Like he's some sort of fucking sociopath whose mind has just been destroyed. And he's about to spend at least until he's 18. You know, if they, they're trying to as an adult. What do you do with an 11 year old who you? You know, obviously he doesn't go to adult prison. Like he's going to have to be in some.

kind of a juvenile facility or federal detention center or something. You don't put them in a foster home. You can put them in one of those Norwegian prisons and then just make sure he has a Nintendo switcher it'll fucking shoot you. Here's a good question. But if he goes real quick, I just like 11 to 18 in some grippy sock mental health facility, like that's not going to produce a normal functioning human either. I don't know how to do anything with this kid, but I by nature don't really hold 11

year olds responsible for what they do. it. They're idiots. How much would it, how much would have to pay you per year to foster this child? He lives in your home down the hallway. He's your, he's essentially your little boy now. He's, he's moving in. I'll do it. It's fine. I'm here for the adventure. For free? For free? Yeah, you know, if I get murdered. Then, uh, you know, it's an alternative retirement savings strategy.

Jesus Christ. You haven't even thought about the life insurance. policy cow. This is going to be business for us here. No, I don't know. The problem isn't me. It's everybody else. Exactly. Exactly. And that's that's my argument for like releasing him into the public. Like like maybe he doesn't track it. He's going to be coexisting with the rest of fucking society as a broken individual who was already some sort of a sociopathic child like Michael Myers. Like that's the premise of Halloween is that Michael Myers murders his sister on Halloween night. I think he was eight in the in the movies. I think. But none of the,

the less like I don't want that guy in my like community I don't want him around me 18 year old version of that guy I'm scared shitless of that guy I and and the fact that the records get expunged that they just sort of incognito sociopath living among you is terrifying yeah I don't think they should get the records perched at all that part's fucked up yeah I don't need I don't know I just I'm I just feel like kids are not finished products. We can't judge them by what they do until they get older unless there's some expert in the field who knows better than me. I don't know exactly what to do with them. I don't want to put them back in sixth grade. I think it'd be six. You subtract five. Yeah. I don't want to put them back in sixth grade with just the other kids. But I don't want to put him in a prison either. That guarantees that he's ruined. Send him to an adorable child-sized prison with only child inmates. this is genius and this is genius I think that's what they'll do I think there's some sort of in-between facility they're gonna have to put him in some juvenile facility until he turns 18

and then they'll send him to a state or federal penitentiary what state was this in by the way oh yeah maybe Pennsylvania but it's been a couple days since I read let's see they're just going to be pistol whipping each other with like Nerf guns in the little kid prison

it's Pennsylvania yeah that's rough dude nerve got a break I feel like almost everyone had like that one kid in their town that like everyone knew about that killed someone or something you know

we had a guy who in this you gotta keep in mind this is in the years right after 9-11 everybody was real sensitive about anything at all and this kid was like 16 years old and he was riding around town with a 22 rifle just shooting stuff

like shooting the windows out of the bank There was inflatable Santa Claus in people's yards. It was that time of year. And he was just shooting the windows out of like banks and grocery stores. And they called him the Livonia sniper. And it's like, all right. Maybe we've gone too far. But he's gotten so much trouble.

Never hit a person. No, never hit anybody. He wasn't attended to anybody. He was just, I mean, it was the equivalent of throwing rocks, you know, at windows and stuff. But he was doing extra risk. Yeah. Yeah. And, dude, they disliked anybody.

appeared that kid. I never saw Barclay again. I don't know what they did to him. Like he left the whole school system. Never saw him again. Don't know what they did to him. So I'll go real quick. I want to hear Goblin story. I knew both of them, the brother and sister. But if I know the story right, the sister turned off the TV while

the brother was playing video games and he murdered her with a hammer. The sister was my age. She was in my classes and he was like two years younger. What game? What? good question I'd have to assume something

that you can't just sit still for a few minutes without consequences back in the day you could say your family not your family but to say your town you said everyone has that guy in their town um there is a pretty legendary well okay legendary is probably not the word I want to use but um there was one there was this kid who's like two grades above me and there was a party and it was like the school district over from mine but like still close enough where everyone kind of mingled in everything. There was this kid named Zach who went to this party and was talking to this girl that he knew

and she rejected him and like apparently the story goes like she said he was very ugly. That's like how the new story goes and everything, which he looks like shit if you've ever seen him. And he later that night goes to the girl's house and he breaks into their house and stabs both of her parents with a kitchen knife like from their kitchen. They both survive and he's still in jail. And the girl he didn't touch. you just went and stabbed her parents I'm pretty sure there's a

there's a news article for this too well let me find it I'll link it to you guys so he broke into a house and stabbed a girl's parents what I think I didn't why do you break in he went to this party and it was like just like a house party

of some random person and he was talking to this girl that was like in his grade that he knew there that lived in the area and was like trying to hit on her she denied him and said something along the lines of like, oh, you're ugly or something like that. And later that night, he leaves the party and he knows where she lives and he goes to her house and breaks in and goes into the kitchen and takes a knife and goes and stabs both of her parents. And I found the article actually. Here, I'll link it real quick.

Right here. This is like 10 years ago. I was like a sophomore when this happened. But it says in the article. A teenager is accused of stabbing the parents of a girl who allegedly made comments about his looks at a party. Dupage County of Fistles, I'm not going to say that last name.

It's very long. But said Zachary 18. Yeah, it's a long one. Told police he was tired of being made fun of and tired of being told he was ugly. And like, dude, if you look at his picture in the article, he's ugly as fuck.

Better watch your back. Oh, my. Understandable. But, um, apparently the male victim, the dad, fought him off and like they both survived and everything. And it says the alleged offender is an acquaintance

of the couple's 18 year old daughter. Officials say he apparently was mad at her for making a disparaging comment about his looks while they were at the party. But he went to a high school in like a neighboring district called Naperville North, which is like right in my area where I grew up.

Yeah. Well, you know, I feel like you can't be able to that kid. I wonder what she said. He said he's tired of being told he's ugly. Okay. Did she really say, no, you're too ugly? Because that's harsh.

I've been rejected many times. Never with like that brutality. First of all, homie is a rough looking guy. Yeah, did you look at the picture in the article? I did. I did. He was a bit of a Mongoloid. He's a bit of a Mongoloid.

Not a good looking feller. A lot of facial hair for an 18-year. year old. I know there's not. It's acne. My bad. Yeah. Ugly guy. Ugly guy. I bet she said some mean diabolical shit, dude, because like my take is if he's whaling enough to go staff

her parents, he was probably wacky enough to like hit on her in like a very forward kind of way. And like when an ugly guy or anybody, if an ugly person hits on you, there's a little bit of this thing it's like, you thought we were on the same level.

It's almost an insult. It's to you if like a real uggo or a real fatso hits on you, you're like, how dare you suggest that we are on the same like dating field platform? Like this is an insult to me. I need

to tear you down to regain my self-worth. So I'm picturing that. I'm picturing that that's what happened. Insecure shit. I've been hit on by gay guys. Oh, insecure like an 18 year old high school girl? I thought I thought dude's got good taste. I'm not gay. That's exactly. That's exactly. where I was going to go.

Yeah, but it wasn't an ugly guy. What if it was a real slob? Nah, he was smoke show. He was fucking smoke show. You were like, dude, our babies, if we could have babies,

our butt babies calves would be popping. Like, yeah, I know you thought that. This guy, if this guy hit on you, you'd be like, you're fucking an ugo,

you creep, all right? I don't even want you to subscribe to me. You little, you're blocked. As a street, man, I wouldn't fuck this guy.

But as a gay man, I also would not fuck this guy. Yeah. Well, that's awful. Stabbed her parents to death. I wonder if he went there to get her and the parents. Oh, he left the party. The parents both lived, actually.

He just stabbed him a lot of times. But they both lived. Good for them. Yeah. Good for them. Yeah, no one died. But I'm pretty sure the guy's still in jail. Sometimes when I'm bored, I go on to, like, Illinois inmate look up.

And you can look up as, like, mugshot and stuff. His latest one. I feel ugly. I feel like this dude's better at murder than picking up girls, because at least he came close. Let's see if he's still ugly. I'll tell you in like five seconds. Wouldn't that be the worst if they'd give him 35 years?

And he like blossoms in prison. He's a real cute. He's like the gym, you know. I mean, he blossomed into like a normal looking guy kind of, I think, actually. Ah, he just had an awkward phase. He actually did. Let me put a screenshot of this. Hold on.

Here we go. Yeah, look at him. He's going to get out. He's going to hit on a. girl and she's no he didn't. What are you talking about? No, no.

Compared to the picture in the article. Like, come on. This guy could get cast in like a, like a Lord of the Rings adaptation as some sort of a troll man or a goblin folk. Okay.

I didn't know for knowledge. Screwed in. The picture I just put is like he could get cast. The picture in the article is like he's in makeup and like ready to go. Let's show the pictures that. It's like, what is this guy going to do? Stabb us.

Stab our parents. Look at that guy. What is the good looking guy? you know, it's he's got a sheep. He's oblong. Yeah, I'm no phrenologists, but those measurements are not good.

Polish. We're going to get a really mean comment from what this guy's family members. Like one of my biggest issues how he just, his head seems below the ears, his head is an extra large and above the ears is just a large. I'm wondering why his teeth don't all fit in his mouth.

Like, like this is an ugly, slow-witted fellow. When someone looks on a camera, if they got any wits about him, this is a dumb guy, you can tell. Yeah, those dance on the side of your head,

that's what contains the restraint from stabbing a girl who denies you sex from murdering her parents. That's why his skulls are so pointing. He does have a pointy head. I feel like if you dropped him head first in the sand, he'd go much deeper than me. Yeah,

he looks like a like a punch. Like a bunker buster. He makes marks for tooling. What an ugly, terrible person. I'm glad they lived. I tire of him. Take him away. Get the hideous creature out of him.

Woody, I watched. Oh, go ahead. The longest, I believe it was the longest date of the union speech of all time. I sat there for almost two hours. hours and I watched that problem. Best ever. Longest ever. I watched that whole freaking thing.

Thinking that there was going to be some outburst, that's what I'm there for because I know he's not going to tell the truth about much. And he's just going to. But there was like three minutes of excitement in two hours. I really felt jipped. That black man who waved his cane at the president last year. I don't know where that representative's from, but he's awesome. He had the cane, but he also had a sign that said black people aren't apes.

they immediately shut that down and like drug him out that was drag dragged yeah um dude you've corrected so many things on me you got it coming i appreciate it like i'm sorry i thought i read the room wrong my my apologies no i'm repeating it to like like cemented into my brain a little bit drag okay dragged from the premises yeah um yeah it reference to the trump tweeted a video where at the very end they put Obama's faces on apeds or something vibes pretty racist. We saw that. Yeah.

Yeah. And outside of that, like, I don't know, I was watching his speech. I didn't watch as much of it as you. You watch it all. But I'm like, I don't feel like I'm getting better informed. He just says shit. He has no obligation to stay in reality. He just says things.

Yeah. And he had some good moments though. Like you can tell that man was a reality TV star. because it's not just a speech. It's a performance. Every now they take a break and they're like, oh, look at that guy up there. He's a hero.

Like they gave that guy the Medal of Honor who flew the helicopter after getting shot multiple times into Venezuela raid. He looks like John Cena or something and he looked like a fucking killer. His eyes are so dark. He didn't, you know,

as a military man. I don't understand what you're feeling as that guy on that stage. I couldn't tell if he was not happy to be there or like really proud to be there. He just had dead eyes. Real scary looking guy. He gets the Medal of Honor.

Like a doll's eyes. Like a doll's eyes. They just rolled over white. He was there. He got his Medal of Honor. And I think he was a 100-year-old veteran. They recognized him. That poor old fucker kept trying to stand every time with everybody else.

He's like, dude, just sit. Just stay right there. You get a pass. It's cool. You've got like 18 more stand-ups in you. Like, don't blow them all. you'll be dead from you out of this building. There was,

oh, and the first lady, and everybody like fucking, for Melania, for some reason. I don't know why we're applauding her. I don't know what she's done for anybody. It's the state of the union.

It's all fucking political theater. Dog and Tony show bullshit. It was, it was an hour and 45 minutes of my life wasted. I regretted watching it so much. I was multitasking when I did it. I got, I,

I'll just like transition to this now because that's all there is interesting about the state of the union. I've been watching this YouTube. Go ahead. Were there any policy? Like a lot of times they talk about the policies that are important to them going forward or like a little bit of a plan. But I didn't hear anything.

It wasn't very subjective. It was a lot of vague. One of my Trump criticism. I hear Destiny say this a lot. But he's like, have you ever heard Trump talk coherently in detail about any policy ever? Even the ones that are near and dear to him, He doesn't have any details.

And I just feel like he can't do that job as well as we want him to if he can't. He doesn't deal in fact. Such an empty vessel. He doesn't deal in facts. He deals in feelings and vibes and vagaries, you know. And that's a much, those are much easier things to sell and to like promote because they're often left up for interpretation. So five guys who have different ideas about the world, different ideas about what they

want to happen. We'll hear him say one thing and take five different like vibes from it. And then all of them are happy because he didn't nail down and solidify a fact. We're going to do X amount and Y amount and this amount of time. And it's happening here and there. Like there's none of that. She's like, oh, we're going to be so great. It's going to win so much. He's talked that way ever since the very beginning.

Sure. Yeah. It works. I'm glad it'll be overserved. Who do you want the next president to be? What do you want your next president to be like? like I almost don't care if it's a Republican or Democratic anymore. I'm more interested in someone who's like a smart person with facts who has

I'm glad you said that. It was not morally reprehensible. I was going to say coherent and informed, right? Like, that's what we've been thirsting for. I want someone morally good. Like they don't, you know, you know what I mean? I literally want someone who I'm like, I'd trust that guy with my kids. I'd trust that guy with my wallet if I weren't looking.

Bad news, Kyle. politicians run for president yeah but don't normalize that like there's there's politicians who have a lot of room for moral improvement and then there's literal fucking rapist and pedophiles

like it's another level when we're talking about Trump yeah it's wild I've been watching this this YouTuber who they they find cars in the scrapyard and they'll got them and build new cars out of them

and now I want to do it Woody now I've like I'm on the I'm on the auction, I've been on auction sites all day looking for cars. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to do some kind of a project car. What year? Like what kind of car? Like I know, are you talking about a brand new kit car? Are we talking about a restoration of a Mustang?

Yeah. So there's a few things that I've seen that I'm interested in doing. So one of them would be an LS swap into like a Miata or like a three series BMW. That fits? That's possible. In an airplane. I know LS packaging on LS is, is, is, amazing that they're the number one thing people use in them. I used to be in these rock crawling

buggies and the LS engines were just so much physically smaller. Plenty powerful. They all have a lot of power like the Mustang. I'm sorry, the Ford 5.0 engine I think is called the coyote. It's a fine motor, but it's way bigger. And the 5.4 I think LS is smaller. 6.2. If you're like like an LS3 or something, they're like, I think there's 6.2 meters. I'm probably out of well over 400 horsepower stock and you can get them really cheap if you get it out of like a wrecked Camaro or a wrecked Corvette. Part of it is maybe this guy is really good at sourcing his parts, but I'm watching his videos and he'll buy a car for $5,000 and immediately make $8,000 out of the parts out of it. So that's got me psyched too. So I'm either going to do an L-Swop into something small like a Miata or like a three-series BMW like from the early 90s or I've also a kind of.

I don't want to do like a retro mod on an old Bronco. Old Broncos are so expensive, though. I'm looking at like the 70, late 70s Broncos. And I was like, I bet those are free, basically, if you find one under a shade tree. They're not under shade trees. They're in retro mod, like repair shops. And once they're done, they're going for six figures. It's crazy.

Really? Then I started looking at like, what is it, the K-series, Blazers, which is kind of the same thing. And the FJ cruisers and land cruisers and stuff like that. So I don't know what I'm going to do. But I'm going to get something that's wrecked and then another thing that's wrecked

and then make one thing that's whole is probably what I'm going to do. Hell yeah. What of the international harvester? Was it the Jimmy? Yeah. I saw those. They had one of those.

Those things are hot from like the, oh shit, that's not it. I saw them doing retro mods on those. Those are cool too. Those are very expensive as well, like more even than the Broncos that I saw. But if I go to, when I started looking at the salvage, the salvage places, those are cheap.

They're just a little bit of work. You'd need to buy like two or three of them to make one almost. But they're going for like $2,000 a piece. I've been wanting to work on something for a while. Yeah. I've often thought it would be neat to beat your own path and do a foreign car. But man, I bet the trailblazing on a project like that. Where do you get Volkswagen Gia parts?

Good luck. I don't even know what that is. I don't know that I've heard me. Did I get it right? Oh, you might, but I've no, I don't know what that is. Carlin gear. I'm right. Some of those kit cars are cool too.

They just look like death traps. The thing that the thing that steers me away from a kit car every time is they look like death traps. They look like if you got hit, you just die. Yeah, he'll tie in a fender bender. Yeah. Like, you don't really have anything. but like your door is nothing. Oh, that's a gear.

Oh. Oh, those are nice. Right? Like, imagine, like, turning that from nothing into something with your own hands and then, like, having something different than all the Ford Mustangs you see at the car shows. Ooh, I like the red one. I can see like a turret coming out of the hood, James Bond style or something. And some missiles smoke out the back.

They top out of the top. at like 55 miles an hour, but they look hot. It's like the MGB. Yeah, the MGB kind of looks kind of similar body style. It's just bubbly. You can get them for dirt cheap because they're made like shit. They were all made in England when all of the workers were like on strike. And so the parts are so shittily manufactured that you can buy like a 1976 MGB and then buy a door off of another one.

And it literally won't even fucking fit. like no standards everyone is a unique piece of art and they're all dog shit but they're cool looking fucking cars yeah dad wants to start a new project I think he's he's been doing an El Camino

for a couple years now I think he's done with that now he finally got through with it so I'm sure he'd like a new project so I could Does he always do American cars so it'd be one of those probably Yeah

if I'm thinking back Is he all Ford all Chevy Oh um we've done Ford and Chevroletes We've done, so 255 Chevys, a 57 Chevrolet, 67 Camaro, 69 Camaro, Fort Fairlane. We did a bunch of older Ford and Chevrolet trucks, like 70 models for other people. Like Dad had some friends who had, same thing. They had like an old truck rusting under a tree, and we restored it for them, mostly just for the fun of it.

We done some Fox Body Mustangs, which are the ugly, like early 90, late 80. 80 ones, those really hideous Mustangs. I feel like those look cool. Not me. Oh, yeah, they're not my cup of tea. My friend had a Bronco that you would really like, and he did it all wrong. Like, we teased him. He was a, it was a friend.

I worked with him. And the first thing he did is have it repainted, because that's all he planned on doing. Is I buy an old Bronco. It's not, you know, in the greatest condition, but I'll get it repainted. It'll look nice and I'll stop there. Well, after that, he pulled the motor and the transmission and rebuilt that. And he was young and still developing his like expertise. So it was a mix of him doing it himself and him hiring people to help him.

Yeah. And I mean, I don't know. Imagine doing a home renovation and starting with new carpets. That was the equivalent to starting with paint. It was such a wreck. But it turned out really nice in the end. And he actually took it off road a little bit, mile off road. Yeah, that's either the last.

last thing you do is the paint. I know how to do a lot of stuff. I've never rebuilt an engine or a transmission, but everything else I've done. Like, I've completely installed wiring harnesses and computers in the cars. And I've done some interior stuff. Like, I would definitely get somebody to do it, but I can stitch seats up. I've done it before. I've put headliners in and carpet in. I've welded, like, floor pans in and trunks in that were, that had been rusted. And lots of paint and body work. I can do all that stuff. Although I would always, like, get my dad to operate the paint gun. if I wanted something to look good. That's a way different undertaking than rebuilding an engine, though.

Yeah, I've watched people rebuild engines. There's a lot of specialized tools you need. There's a lot of... And so much knowledge in parts. This is the most complex puzzle I've ever dealt with. And I feel like you miss one washer and, like, you're 12 hours deep into, like, putting that back where it goes. I don't know. It scares me a bit.

The problem is the tools for me. Like I've watched it done enough times, especially on like small block Chevrolet engines, where it's like, all right, I know where everything goes. And if I don't, like I'm not going to do this blind.

I'll bring some instructions. There'll be a video playing on a plasma, on a plasma, on a flat screen TV right there next to the build and everything. I'll go step by step. But it's all the tools. Like when I see all the like calipers and the stuff you used to measure the insides of the cylinders

and the valves and all that stuff. And that's beyond me. And anything. like flashing a computer or programming one, that's also something I haven't done before. Two years ago, two years ago, my friends, one of my friends and I took apart one on my motorcycles

to check the valve clearances. And on motorcycles, these things were out more quickly than you might guess and whatever. Well, we didn't put it back exactly the way you're supposed to put it back. And as we go to spin it. Look at this. All they put those pieces in there. All the parts were in there.

But when we went to turn the engine, it didn't turn. And like, there was compression. I don't know. Like, something cracked. And so, like, we pulled it apart. And there's like a broken rocker arm, but we can't account for all the pieces. Something's down deep in the motor. And that was when I was like, I need an adult.

This has gone beyond me. And I found like a real KTM certified mechanic who did it for a living, but also made house calls. And that guy was just a fucking legend. Like he came over. He pulls the whole motorcycle like apart. And not only did he find like every part we couldn't account for to prove that like it wasn't there. He took pictures along the way to like show me what we were dealing with. And he found some other like manufacturer related shaving in there.

It wasn't even related to our shitty repair, if you call it that. I'm like, this guy, he's great. But then he moved. We would use Polaroids back in the day. We had a Polaroid camera in the shop. And every step of the way, when you're disassembling something, it would be a chunk. And then on the back of it, you'd write, you know, fucking rear differential. Bolt went in this box labeled 3A.

And then there'd be a box over there. It said 3A. And because we would, one time we took two 55 Chevroles and made one 55 Chevrolet. And you might think that we had one that was in good shape. one that was in bad shape. We took the parts off the donor and put it on the other. No. Split in half. We had a front end of a car that was good and the

back end of a car was good and we stuck them fucking together on a new rail and you know, new front-ended everything. We welded two cars together and made that work. It still works. That's the car. My dad, that's under dad's carport right now.

So we would take the parts that we took off and we would trace them on, opened up beer cases, the cardboard and then punch the screws where they're supposed to go and then just set them and number them like one one through 30 or whatever rebuild it that sounds good i use ziplock bags and i'd write on the outside what they were for but you know sometimes there's quite like this was on the carb yeah a lot was on the carb you know which which one of the little screws was which yeah 40 beers deep uh you want you want a pretty clear diagram of what goes where yeah dude i hope you do it i hope you do it i hope you

you do. I wonder what you're going to do. What kind of car you're going to pick? It'll probably depend on like what I'm really looking for is some sort of interesting deal. Like what I'd like to find ideally is a version of a Mustang or Camaro that someone had added a lot of extra parts to that's ruined. That's absolutely like hit in the middle and the frame's bent so bad. It can't be. It's been totaled out. But that's a really good drive shaft. That's a really good rear end. That's really good suspension. Like there's lots of expensive. Don't have parts on there to yank off and then sell what I don't want. That part actually kind of like struck me as almost, I had this fantasies as a kid of being a treasure hunter.

And like, like almost in that sort of bargain bin kind of way where you found something that no, you always hear that story about the guy who finds like the expensive comic book or something in the attic. Like that really appeals to me that like gets me fired up, that treasure hunting aspect of it. So when I watch these videos, I assume that there's no fuckery in his videos. But he's like, that's a. that's a $3,000 exhaust system just sitting right there. We couldn't see that in the pictures. That pays for the whole build.

And it's like they paid $3,000 for this car. The exhaust is worth $3,000. They haven't even gotten the engine out. Like that kind of gets my engine going. I don't need $3,000, but I'd love to like find $3,000. That's your fun. You're expecting to find like a classic car in a junkyard? No, in a salvage yard.

I don't want to do a classic car. I want to do something probably late model. Like I said, either an L.S. Engine Swap where I get like a Corvette or a Mustang engine and throw it in a Miata or something little, make some sort of like speed demon car. But I would also be into just buying two 2020 Corvettes or something like that and making one. Like if I could make a nice 2020 Corvette for $25,000 and have fun doing it, like that'd be the best year ever.

That'd be so much fun to work on. That does sound like fun. You'd mention the Treasure Hunter thing. I grew up at the beach and there are people with metal detector. all the time just scanning back and forth. And there really are like women who lose their rings and their necklaces and bracelets and shit like that on the beach. Every day.

Someone finds that stuff. And I used to be like, that looks pretty cool. Well, about a year or two ahead of me, someone roughly my age bought a metal detector. And they roasted the fuck out of him. Yeah, it looks gay as shit. Oh my God. Yeah.

They treated them like he was a homeless panhandler, just like looking for treasure in the same. sand all the time. He just looks gay. It does. And I think he even dressed like a boomer or something, right? Like eyes on and whatever for his treasure

hunting. And I was like, nope, that one's off limits. I cannot follow that dream. Not what you're not finding in the sand at the beach? Pussy. If my other dream includes a girlfriend, I can't have this one. This one we got to let go. I wanted to, that's one of the

Christmas gifts I never got. I used to ask for a metal detector all the time because I too had this fantasy of finding buried treasure. I really never got me that metal detector and as an adult I like never went back and got it. I kind of want one now. How much you got one? Mine's like a wand and I used it as a woodworker. You need to know if something's going to destroy your saw blade. Like people shoot guns into trees or just chainsawes break or whatever. There's sometimes is metal fragments. You got to get, you got to know. It looks like you can get a good one for a grand, like a really good one.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. And where you're from, you'll never make that back. Never, ever. What are you going to find? Where would you even go? You'll find that old horseshoe.

Yeah, it'd be something like that. Like, maybe you go to the boat ramps at like Hartwell, like one of the more popular ones in the sand on the sides and find some stuff. But you'd be better off magnet fishing or something like that around those. I bet you find lots of stuff that got dropped off boats that were unloading and loading right there. You find a lot of fucking guns out in the river. Probably. Probably.

I see those guys find mines and unexploded ordnance sometimes. But are they? I wonder. I always, like, they act like there's mines in every, like, little creek across America. I think they're, I've heard them call the police, and the police are like, are you really, you want us to come. They're like, how can you not take this mine? seriously. And they're like, it's, it's you we don't take seriously. It's never mind. There's one of those really popular channels is from my hometown in Indiana. And every time I come

across it, because I just recognize the police logo on the side of their cars. And these, there's like two kids who were like in their 20s and every fucking video is them pulling a hand grenade out of the river. They're like, 911, we got another one. I grew up in this town. No, this is in northern Indiana. Yeah. See, that's, weird, but in Europe it makes a ton of sense. Like, there was a giant war in France, a couple of them. There's all sorts of shit that's unexploded out there in fields, I'm sure. But why are there hand grenades in the river in Indiana?

Speaking of the... For views. Yeah, for views. The Europe thing, there's another channel that comes across my feet all the time is this guy in Germany who metal detects and he finds like World War II artifacts. And I swear like every third video of his that I see is him, finding something. It's a, it's a German World War II helmet, and then he picks it up, and there's a man's head still inside of it, like a skull, picking it up every time. They identify

like the dog tags and they return the remains, but he's just so casual every time he's like, oh, he found another helmet, picks it up, dude's head who died, you know, 80 years ago falls out. I saw one where they found, I think it was a German soldier, but it doesn't matter. They found some soldiers dog tags, and they were like, oh, we'll track down who this guy was, look up his like information, maybe get these tags back to his family. I bet they'd appreciate him. Turned out he had went like AWOL and raped a child. I saw that exact same.

And then was executed for it by his military. And they're like, yeah, we're not going to do all that stuff we said now. We're actually going to chuck him right back in the ditch we found him in. To you belong. Jesus, that was a dark one. Yeah. Yeah, no hand grenades here. but like

I have found a lot of Indian artifacts in my dad's place like we would always find arrowheads growing up I found a really nice quartz arrowhead that was perfect that's now lost to me

somebody stole it people take my things but I wanted it I guess so have you found an arrowhead I'm not sure I found things I thought

were arrowheads but I can't just call it every triangular rock and arrowhead I knew a guy like that it was so he was one of those guys who's like yeah

I'm one 16th Cherokee. And it's like, I don't think he are. I don't think he are. He grew his hair really long. He was like a white John Redcorn. Like he was embracing that side of his culture way too fucking hard. He had this long, long, greasy hair and like a ponytail. And like it was held together with like a leather strap in the back.

He liked to hunt with a long bow with arrows and made himself. God never killed anything ever. Your last name's Trevinsky. You're fucking Polack, bro. get over it. You're not, you're not of a Native American, but he would, he would walk along. He'd be like, every rock that was pointy was an arrowhead to him and an artifact from his ancestors. Like, he'd be like, oh, there's one. And there's another one. I'm like, dude, you're just picking up gravel. You're just picking up gravel. You're just picking up gravel. Everything was an artifact of that guy.

The other thing, I found a fossil when I was in Texas that time. I'm still like, I've got that thing on a shelf in there somewhere. I looked it up. It was like a 120 million year old. of it. Is it a rock with an imprint? No, it's a, it's a, I'll, I'll, I'll get it when I get up. I can't imagine a snail fossil. So it's the shell? I'm just going to get it. Okay, okay. Oh, cool. Cool. Cool. He's going to go get it. Have you guys ever found a fossil? Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, where I'm from in Indiana is like famous for its limestone. So it used to be the, uh, seabed of like an ancient. It's the same, basically the same situation as

the area. I'm assuming he was at Ox Ranch in Texas. everything's limestone. So he's super stoked about this. There are landscaping rocks out back right now with those same snail shells in them, but we'll let them get excited about it. All of that limestone, like calcified this ancient seabed, you know, 10 million, 30 million, billion, trillion years ago, whatever, I'm not informed on that.

But yeah, literally every rock you pick up has like a snail shell in it. some of it even like little pieces of gravel the gravel driveway at the house I used to live at I used to sit sit out and just smoke cigarettes and as I was picking up cigarette butts I'd pick up the rocks and like every single one of them has like a conical shell on it really yeah we just grinded into fucking

gravel for driveways because it's it's so common have you found a fossil goblin no dude I don't go outside enough for that shit one time when I was a Boy Scout I was with someone who found a fossil. Like he knew what he was looking at. And I think he broke it and you could like see the, like, it was like a real thing.

But I don't know enough to like spot it while standing up. You know, like I only see it after you found it for me. Now I wish I have found a fossil. You'd have you left out. You got to go fossil hunting. See Kyle's snail shell. Yeah, what do we got? This is from the ox ranch.

I told you. He did. He predicted this. That's pretty neat. though. That is very cool. That's big. That's not just a rock. I pictured it was going to be a rock and you'd have like a

an imprint of the, like a two DM. I'm like if you sliced it, a bisection maybe would be like a better word like, but no, that's a bit of that. Yeah, that's like the interior of what I was talking about. Yeah, the whole thing turned to rock. It was just sitting on the ground in the open, just out there in the ox ranch

out in Texas. I was like, can I keep this? I really want to. Is he going to take this? I mean, is this his rock? I mean, it's definitely his. You're right? Can I pet the ride out? I got two and a half million in my collection that I keep on this 110 acres scattered about. They'd never seen one before. I was like, have y'all ever seen? Oh, he hadn't?

No, none of I ever seen one before. One of the interesting things, I think there's like some closed-down silver mines on that property. and I don't know, at the time I was there, he hadn't found them all. He had found like one or two of them, but he was like, oh, he was always walking up in the hills with his gun, like going on a little trek looking for the old silver mine. They had this idea that, I mean, we can open it back up. We can become silver miners, why not? And it was like, I thought that was pretty cool too. I saw a YouTube channel that does that.

He spent years trying to open up an abandoned gold mine, I think. And it became that like scary meme from the internet where you're crawling down into the hole and you're. getting stuck and he's crawling through this and then it opens up into a tunnel and now he's in a gold mine and it's it looked like equal equal parts terrifying and just really fun because i want to find where's the gold at i want to find some gold dude you mentioned youtube channels like i watched this guy went through like his back log and like up to current he bought a big piece of land in texas but it was cheap because there's like no water there. It is the most worthless land that you can imagine on American soil.

And his plan is to somehow turn it into like a vibrant ecosystem with trees and water and all that stuff. And I'm just going through like pulling down these videos, watching it, watching it, seeing what he's doing, where he's learning. Other people who've tried this, he is incredibly unsuccessful. It isn't working at all. The closest he comes is like some plant that's supposed to grow in the desert that he handwaters. He can't get shit to grow on this land. And it's kind of a fascinating journey of this piece of land

that goes from worthless to also worthless, but with lots of effort put into it. It rains here three times a year, buddy. You ain't growing shit. It cracks me up. People try to grow lawns here. Everything's just... This guy like digs ditches and tries to plant at the bottom and I'm like, okay, I get the concept.

I get the concept. All the water is going to run to this one thing and then you'll have a little plant that grows in that part, right? This is drought. No, no, nothing works. He had, he like trucks in his own water to get anything to like start and then it dies. And it's just failure after failure after failure. He has to get well, like step one as well. I don't know

if you dig in the desert do you eventually find water? I don't guess there's any water down here yeah because even well it always cracks me up every time I come down to Texas which I've been here for a while now again but the warning about the deer or whatever well you're all from the south

Goblin I'm not sure where you're from Chicago so Chicago oh well no it's I mean Midwest warm the deer down here white tail deer down here are about the size of a small dog they're like you've got to be real careful when you're driving down this road you might you might run into a flock of white or flock fucking hurt a white tail i was like they bounce off the front bumper no problem

they're way about 35 pounds food to get big and support a tall animal i guess right yeah i mean i was exaggerating Midwest Kansas midwest Iowa places like that Michigan yeah they get big and i it seems like i bet if you look at their genetics there's like maybe some more mule deer or something else from up even from a northern climate make but in georgia they get not not nearly as big as the Midwest but not nearly as small as what i saw in Texas what what it cracked me up was the brush guards in Texas on everybody's trucks like sometimes they'll turn them in it'll look like it's from mad max it'll be a big blade up there or spikes or

something and like those guys don't slow down for deer they probably speed up and they just explode. But we'd be driving down these lonely roads in Texas, like out the middle of nowhere, and see 100 deer night, like just all aligning the road like they're at a spectator event, just eyes, all out in the fields. And they sit on the side of the road? I mean, that's where we would see them. For all I know, the entire countryside is rife with them, but we're on the road, and we got our headlights shining, you know, full brights, because again, it's this abandoned road out in the middle of Texas with the speed limit. It's like 80 or something. I love My experience with deer's, they don't respect the danger of the road.

They seem to run across it. Seemingly, sometimes they wait for the car to come and then smash into it. Yeah. The special kind of dumb. They do not cross in my yard. We have deer and coyote in my yard. Oh, that reminds me. Now, do you remember what your bet with Taylor was?

Who was the over? It was 70 pounds, right? Over and under? Huh. For my dog. I thought you'd say that part. I don't remember what I said, but if I had the guess right now, I would say that your dogs weigh 62 and a half pounds.

How old are they? Six months. Six months. Great days, right? Mm-hmm. The little one was 80 pounds and the bigger one was 84. Yeah. That's like they turned.

They turned food into dog in an astonishing rate. They're not even blowing to my eyes very much. 80 pounds, 84 pounds. Like for a great Dane, that's pretty light. But for a heated blanket that's super heavy. It's like I need oxygen, bro. Dude, that's so big. That's what Toby weighs my adult doodle.

Like he's a Bernie's mountain doodle. He weighs like 85 pounds or something like that. And he's a big boy. I think of him as a big boy. That's bigger than my old old dog. That was yesterday. Yeah. That's crazy how fast they turn food into dog.

Yeah. Come here. My full-grown cattle. How about my full-grown cattle dog? He's like that dog looks like it has energy. Not right this second. But he's the shape of dogs that are high energy. He's shedding like crazy.

It's my baby beau. All right, buddy. That's my mouth. That is a sweetie. You got right in there. smooches He'll make out He's French

65 pounds and he's seven years old Your breath is like a good dog I love you too buddy All right Go back to your bed Go ahead Get off Boy go way down

I want to I want to To breed my Pomeranian Or to not me personally But actually he You know let him stud for somebody And get a puppy I'm trying to talk my girlfriend into that. She doesn't want more dogs,

but I always want more dogs. And what I really want, because I've got the Pomeranian, I fucking love him. He's little and spunky and just smart as a whip. And then I got Toby, who's a doodle. I really like that.

He's so sweet and lazy and just, like, soulful. I want to combine the two, but they're both males and Toby doesn't have balls anymore. I can't do that. So I think I want to do is make a couple things wrong with that plan. Several problems. Having passed seventh grade biology, I think you'll find. You know, it's God's will.

But what I want is half Pomeranian and half Poole, which is called a Pama Poo. And so I'm looking at poor Pomeranian. Well, no, the Pomeranian's going to be the stud. He's going to be the one slinging. That's important. I feel like in that poor poodle. Well, you know, I want a full-size poodle though, because I figure you mix a Pomeranian with a poodle. If you do a mini poodle or like one of those pocket poodles,

I don't want some two-pound little bitch-made pom-a-pooh. I want a bigger pommapoo, like 15 or 25 pounds at least. So we're working on that. We're looking for some slutty poodle out there that wants to get with little Murphy. It's a bitch-made pommapoodle as if there's a cool pommapoodle. First of all right, it's a pome of right? They are cool. They're just, dude.

Zach, show them what a pommapoo looks like. They're so fucking cute. It's going to be some fluffy bullshit. Oh, that's cute as hell. That's cute as hell. It looks like a little teddy bear. That is like a stuffed animal. He does look fun.

Yeah, I want one of those. I think that's going to be my next dog. Because like I said, Pomeranians are sick. Poodles are sick. I want best of both worlds. I hope I don't end up with like a killer bee scenario where I end up with some huge bitey dog, which would just be the worst.

Do you fucking bite is a shit out of me? usually what always happens is when I get a dog I don't want to get the guys fixed because I like feel for them I wouldn't want to lose my balls yep but then like inevitably they do something that we blame their balls for they attack another dog they attack a person they act way too aggressively and we're like we got to simmer you down and the dog is up getting crusty yeah they start jerking off in your socks

they hide them they're all shameful they throw them up on the banister and you find this like trove of crusty socks rolled up in the balls it's it's awful um socks that's been missing for months stands on its own fucking dogs i think we i think we fixed i think we fixed i had a belgian mow and he bit me and we got him fixed and then um toby we my my my bernie's mountain doodle got him fixed when he attacked our uh our husky and beat the shit out of him. Poor old husky. They just walked past each other and like gave each other that look and just went at it.

Like just full on fighting. And I'm in the middle of the fight throwing punches because I, break it up. Yeah, I'm literally trying to like club the dog in the head hard enough that he turns loose of the other dog because they've got each other and they're like ripping it to Aaron. So I'm skinning my knuckles up, throwing punches like down at these two dogs. All three of us at the end are beat up and we're just sitting there looking. Everybody's looking at everybody like, fuck, it was fucking stupid. Nobody thought he was good idea.

Respect. Yeah, but Toby had to get fixed after that, which I kind of regret because Toby has turned out to be such an amazing, like dog. He's like such a good personality that I wish I could make more Toby's. I say that's why I never got no fixed. He's a fucking angel. He's broken for his breed. Like the joke that I always made, he's an Australian cattle dog, which they're famous like what he was saying for like high energy. Yeah.

But he's, dude, he's lazy. his shit. Everybody fucking loves him. He loves everybody. They're also known for like their aggression, but he's dude, he's got the brain of a Labrador. So I never got him fixed. But the joke that I always make is like everybody's

fucking obsessed with my dog's balls. Like people are so unused to seeing an unfixed dog as soon as they see his balls. They're like, oh, it didn't get him fixed. It's like, what does it matter, man? Leave him alone. I was one of my balls cut off.

The only problem, he does leak. Ooh, don't care for that. Oh. Yeah. Dude, I can load will do that for you too. My, I really like the whole concept of, nosing around under like a dresser. And she's like, I think there's pills under there.

And I'm like, whatever. I don't care. And Jackie's like, but he's going to fucking come loads. We don't stop him from downing it. Oh, my God. It's kind of funny. just fucking Indiana Look how perlessent that dog come is

My God He's not even on a regiment He just ate a couple the other day This is intense I know I personally endorsed lock and load The last time I was on here It's real, it's serious Take your lock and load

You got to shovel down Eight horse pills a day Six now We're a proof of formula Yes Are you guys sponsored by like a nut pill? is that what I'm gathering? We make it.

Yeah. Oh. Oh. We're in the jiz biz. Okay. We run a cummy empire. I'll have you know. Yeah, we sell like thousands and thousands of bottles of our cum supplement lock and load.

It's not quite ad time yet, but it does make you bust like enormous loads, like three times bigger than what you started with according to my measurements. I was, I was measuring myself as we were. went along and my volume, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I had to get, I had to get, I had to buy some tools just to, just to measure that. Um, it improves your, your, your cummys in every way imaginable. The perlessence off the charts. Um, you're going to be free coming like mad, dripping. You'll think there's something wrong with you at first. You're like, oh no. You shoot holes in the drywall.

That you guys have like, on after images on the website and stuff. I do have a video I can send you. It's in my hidden camera roll. It's the only one I've ever said. And I look back on it every once in a while and I'm like, that's a good one. If that got leaked, if that got leaked to the public, I'd be like, yep, that's me. That's a normal load I bust all the time. That's how it normally looks.

It is a shocking amount of calm. I always say it's a different kind of gag gift. You're going to be surprising your loved ones. They're going to think you're more virile, more vigorous. more vigorous and more potent. They're going to thank you more of a man. And they're going to take it as a compliment. They're going to be like, when they ask you,

do you always come this much? Say, no, you're just so hot. Remember those words. No, you're just so hot. If you ever break up with her, you'll ruin her forever on load sizes. Every other boyfriend, husband won't measure up to what you delivered.

You have to turn to beaity. That's what they do. up your back. Yeah, I also really like the, when you mentioned earlier, neutering your dogs as a punishment. That's a new one. I've never heard of that.

Not as a punishment. It's not like you did this, so I'm doing that. It's more that like, this is a behavior that we've got to stop. I think you've got too much testosterone. That'll stop it, dude. I mean,

you take his fucking balls after he bites you. That's what we got to do to that 11-year-old who shot his dad for taking the switch. Oh, just castrate him. Astrid him. Okay. Well, I don't think having, you know, at 11, he probably didn't have a lot of tea going through him anyway, you know?

Don't ever give him the chance to get it, dude. Imagine what we'll do with the tea. Yeah. How old was your dog when you castrated him? Ah, like two and a half, three and a half, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. He was a Belgian Mao.

He bit the shit out of me. It was like, we can't do this anymore, you fucker. It didn't help. It didn't help a bit. He stayed like super aggressive and I had to hide from. he was a real problem Belgian malinoles are terrifying Yeah

Yeah I bought him from a attack dog training school in Kentucky Oh perfect Like half trained as a three year old Like I think he was three when I got him I could be misremembering that though But he was a bad motherfucker He like through those Kevlar bite sleeves he would still just like

Like the pressure is like so many They bite so hard their teeth are so sharp They're fucking scary That's crazy your attack dog that you bought From the attack dog school attacked you Yeah. I didn't see it coming. Who would have seen this company possibly done?

There's really no one to blame. Things can't be foreseen. I mean, I wasn't mad at him. I chopped his balls off. I didn't do it personally, but it had to be done. You know,

I didn't want any more of him anyway. He was a motherfucker. I like my daughter. Instead of having like normal like playtime with him at the pet store, you have to like throw on body armor and like walk in the cage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's part of their training and like they're fun. They gave me a bite sleeve. It's, it's a, you've probably seen like people mess with attack dogs. Yeah, I've seen there's like police training videos. So yeah,

you would train him like he had an attack command. Like he was trained to attack. I think it was pockin. Pock, I think it was Pocken. It's all in German, of course. You know, there were sits,

plots. I remember Pocken. I just don't remember if it was like for him to bark or hit for him to attack. But one way or the other, there was, you would give him the command. And he would take him, hair into your arm and just viciously mull it until you gave him the release command, which I also

don't remember anymore. I couldn't get him to like me really. Like he'd like me temporarily. Like there'd be moments where I'm like, okay, finally I'm in the circle. You can't kick right back out of that circle for no reason. He wanted you to sit. He didn't want you to stand. When you stood up, that was, he was like, oh, oh, what are you doing now?

What are you fucking doing now? I'm a dog guy. I'd have rolled over if he made his desires more. clear. I don't know. I'm loving them up. I'm giving him attention. I'm not looking straight at him. All the things I think he's looking for.

They can't iron you down. Don't look at him in the eyes. I already did. I'm locked in. I've been around dogs for like 40 years. I couldn't win over deck. I couldn't. I couldn't win your dog over either. Like we both had dogs that he had a great dame named

Jack. And that motherfucker would have killed me if he'd let him go. I think he would have He wore a soft muzzle around company. We talk about what animals obviously we could beat in a fight and we got even the four of you won on Brock Lesnar, I still stand by. Like that was a fun discussion. I don't think I could beat

Jack. I don't know if I went in a fight with Jack. I think I don't know. Are you saying Jack or Jack? Jack. That was your dog's name, right? That was the big game. It was. Yeah. Yeah, it's very similar names. But yeah, I don't know if I could

win in a fight against Jack. I don't know if he could kill me if he wanted to. I wouldn't want to try. He was so big and scary. Yeah, he's a problem. The main thing was, like sometimes when dogs bark at you and growl, you can tell they kind of halfway mean it. Like maybe if you stomp the ground and yelled and like got big, they'd like scour a little.

I could tell your dog had none of that in him. He didn't just want to scare me. He wanted to fight. He was like, let me get him. Let me get him. He got the neighbor that one time. I don't like talking about that. I don't know what the statute of limitations is on that shit, but that was wild when your dog mauled your neighbor. How bad was it?

Lots of stitches. Oh, no. Yeah, like a torn up forearm. I don't know how many stitches it was exactly, but it was a mauled forearm. And in North Carolina, the laws kind of favor the dog owner. Like, if you've done anything to provoke the dog, it's your fault. Yeah. And when she first explained how it went down, I guess the dog was running around and she tried to like corral it, you know, like maybe guide it back towards the house it came from.

And that was enough to make it her fault in the eyes of the law. So she changed her story to I was just getting the mail and the dog just came sideways and leaped and bit me in the arm. But since we had, not we, but like the police had already taken her first story. my insurance company is just like she's clearly lying and it all went away so uh so that's what happened there but i feel like i had a killer we left the door open and didn't know it that's what happened we like look it's my fault to be clear but i was taking my daughter to fencing and she left the door open but i'm the adult it's me she's a child and uh um but that's why i wasn't aware it was open or whatever. I expected her to close the door behind her. And yeah. So Jack, but at the time,

I was like a bigger deal on YouTube than I am today. And I would get death threats. Dude threatened to rape me. All these threats towards my wife and daughter about raping them. It was kind of nice to have an actual killer in the house too. Like this was an armed auto targeting weapon. Yes. That love my family. He totally was too. Like that dog, like I was at your house for two or three days. He never warmed up. I just imagine as I'm driving away on that last day, him at the window, like

he'll never come back. He'll never come back. Just staring at the window at him. Kyle, you should have stopped sending Woody death threats. Yeah, if you just put it at the rape threat, I'd have been okay. That dog was terrifying.

And way too big. I don't know why you like those big dogs, because here's my thought process. The farts, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, alone, like, scare me away. I don't want an animal that's going to clear the room. Already, my little pomeranel fart, and we're just like, oh, God, what have you been eating? Did you give him cheese? Stop giving him cheese. Fuck. We're going through a good period right now where the dogs are seemingly not gassy, but you go back like two and a half weeks. We have scented candles

all over the place because it's like the air quality in here is bad. You get a dizzy from methane. Well, it's like to whatever to figure out. My dog is lame as shit. He's the whitest

man I've ever met in my life. He's a dog. This motherfucker's gluten-free. I had to find out through experimentation that if I put

gluten in my dog's food like he gets sick. There's really bad gas from it. Ciliac disease or whatever, eh? He's a dog, man. Being gluten-free became this trendy thing.

There's like eight people in the country who actually have celiac or whatever it's called. and I was dating this girl and she was just so anal about it. It was always had to be gluten-free this and couldn't go to this restaurant or that restaurant. But never anal because of the celiac disease, right? We were on vacation and I just wanted to get pizza and just get dinner done. And she's like, oh, I can't.

I'm like, they have gluten-free pizza. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to go pick it up. Just brought her back up large fucking pizza. She ate three slices. Oh, this gluten-free pizza normally, I'd be so sick right now. Oh, it would just take this, that, and the other would have. And then like the next day, she was like, that pizza was great.

I normally just, I never said anything. I was just, oh, I was wondering where, that's what I wanted to know. Oh, she'd have blamed something else. And she's like, I'm going to die now. This is, she'd have, it would have been a problem if I'd ever told her that I gave her. You should text her now. So I had tempted to poison my, remember that she said in 2017. That was full of gluten, you liar.

I attempted to poison my girlfriend to prove her wrong. That lying did. peanut allergy I said to go right there too I knew she was lying I knew she was lying everybody during that time

everybody was oh yeah I'm gluten free oh yeah no gluten can't have any gluten get the fuck out of here gluten is wheat flour it's not bad for you it's food it's one of the oldest things

we've been eating as human beings in industrialized society get out of here sometimes people that have restrictive diets though have good diets like if you're gluten free

you probably don't eat much pizza like if you're dairy free There's probably a lot of things that make you fat that you're skipping. It's funny that you guys bring this specific topic up because celiac runs in my family. I have like five living family members that all can eat gluten. And I have an aunt who literally brings a cooler full of sandwiches she makes with gluten-free bread. She wheels it around. She'll have it in the trunk of her car 24-7.

And she'll like any restaurant we go to, she just wheels the cooler in and sits down and orders like a cup of water and just eats the gluten-free sandwich like that restaurant with us. and I won't eat anything they serve, even if it's gluten-free. And she's been doing this for, like, as long as I've been alive, she's much older than me. But I also recently went to the doctor myself because I've been having digestive issues. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I would have bubble guts and shit. I'm like, dude, I don't know what's happening here. So I got a bunch of blood work done.

And my doctor has me keeping, like, a log of everything I eat because she thinks I might have it. so I potentially am about to get told that I now can't eat gluten but I'm still eating that shit power through it play through the pain that's what that's what the chain does dude can you I don't even think you can drink doesn't beer have gluten? Yeah beer whiskey

there's a lot of a lot of shit you don't realize how much shit has gluten in it until you start paying attention and it's like dude you can't even I don't know how how serious this is but apparently if you're gluten free you can't even eat food that was fried in the same friar

as something with like a flour breading or something like that. It's like McDonald's, for example, because they do their chicken nuggets in the same fryer, you can't eat McDonald's like fries. Are corn chips gluten? I don't think so.

But I don't know. But I pray to God my doctors and tell me to stop eating gluten. Yeah, let's just hope it's cancer or something. Yeah. That would be way easier. I don't want to give up bread. Yeah, run with diarrhea for the rest of your life. It's about time for that colonoscopy, right?

Yeah. Dude, I'm only 27. It's too early for the finger. I'm talking to Woody. Oh, finger. He is. He's talking about the fucking roto-ruder. My wife brings up a colonoscopy like once a week.

And I agree with her. She's like, you need a colonoscopy. Yeah, you're right. New topic. What is that? That actor that just died in his 40s. Like, that's what it was. Tabico's rectal.

cancer or something like that. Who? That actor who just died. What's the, the young guy. Was it? No, he's one of those like, like a hunky like 90210,

guys or Dawson's Creek guys or something like. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the blonde guy. Was his name Zach something? No, you're probably thinking of Zach Ephron. He wasn't blonde. He's got, he's got dark here. He's like a real handsome guy. Yeah.

Thought you were talking about the black. Vander Beak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you got to get checked out, man. It's time for me, too. Like, it should be done this year. I am not excited.

You want to hold hands? I so don't. A gentle kiss while they slide the camera into your ass. A simple no would have been fine. You'd have to call me ugly. Now I got to kill your parents with a steak, What if they, where if they like to save money, they have us go like ass to ass and they're like simultaneously. Like that scene in a Reckley were a dream.

Ass to ass. Ass to ass. I had a colonoscopy once before. I've talked about this. The worst part for me was the recovery room. I don't pass gas in front of people. You should be able to know me like 30 years and think I just haven't farted yet. But there they are in the recovery room.

room all cheering you on you know that's a good one i'm like i don't want any attention right now i would like some privacy it's been a hard day that's gonna be my take if they're like we're like we're gonna need you to pass a lot of gas for us and we need to be here to document each fart you're gonna have to give me some fucking space ladies you're gonna have you get to clear on out out of here and i'll let you know how i win can we can we roll the propofal again Dude, that's why I'm excited for the anesthetic. Is that what they gave you? They put you all the way out?

I don't know. I don't know. I know I have no memory of it. Yeah. I think sometimes they sort of put you in like a wacky in-between state for certain procedures. And I wonder if it's that or I wonder if you're just completely out. Because when I did one of those eye surgeries, I have very little memory. The first one was definitely just a local anesthetic because I remember like making fists. in my shoes from the pain.

It hurt. Oh, it hurts so goddamn much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really painful. And I could feel the blood running down my face. Like I couldn't feel exactly what they were doing, but it hurt like hell. And there was blood running down my face. Just the, just the injections in your eyelids are pretty painful.

Like, like it hurts when people put needles in your eyelids. Yeah, I was going to say, how do you deal with them putting a, did they strap you down to put a needle that close to your eye? they kind of did I remember like my head was sort of wrapped in like a towel type situation or something like it was secured a little bit but also like I'm not I'm not going to flinch because I know what the consequences are he's coming toward my eyeball with a syringe and then he's going to start cutting

so I'm literally laying there just taking the pain I remember being like a little bit but I didn't move I just remember making fists in my shoes and like just taking the pain that way. It was terrible. It's probably the worst experience of my life. It was so awful. And then the recovery was dreadful too. There's fucking stitches on the inside of my eyelid for a week.

Oh, God. Do you like feeling when you blink and stuff? Every time you blink, it rubs your eyeball. And so my eyeball every day is getting more and more like raw and red. so I try not to blink. I wore an eyepatch for a little while. Yeah, it was pretty awful. Yeah.

No fun. I'm a cancer survivor. So with Woody. Mm-hmm. That'd be so strong. We should have raised money. We should have sold like cancer coin or something like that. Come up with a whole fucking rugpole for a proffeteer off of your cancer.

Yeah, that's what everybody else does. Jesus Christ, that James Bandit. We actually had cancer. Exactly. That Vanderbeek guy we just mentioned, right? Like, right? There you go. There's my eye patch. I'm in so much pain there. I'm so unhappy to be where I am right there in that moment. It's awful. James Vanderbeek, like, right before he died, bought his family some $5 million ranch, and then they did a go fund me. And like, he got like several million dollars. And it's like, this guy's a Hollywood actor. He lives, whose family now lives on a $5 million ranch.

that's paid for. Why does he need a go fund me? Why does he need more millions of dollars of just Joe Schmo's money? It's a good question. You know what he could buy with that money? Come on. He's a cancer survivor.

Chip in for him. That makes way more sense to me. Vanderbik's dead. Shoot it to my PayPal listeners. I'm down. I agree. I agree. Don't be greedy here.

I'm sorry. You said it was about me. But I put it in the picture. That's about it. Gosh, we're, we're, see, I shouldn't even, I was about to say maybe Taylor will get cancer, then all three of us can be cancer survivors, but, you know, I don't want to wish cancer on Taylor. He's already fucking married. Taylor's on his honeymoon right now in, uh, in, uh, in, uh, in Hawaii.

And just having a great time, apparently. Um, I just, are, are you married? He's sending pictures. Uh, been married three times, all in failure. I'm not laughing at you. How old are you? No, I'm kidding. That's not true at all. I've never been married. I just don't think it's a good idea. Just legally speaking, as all.

People like I don't want us to have babies in the human race to fail. I just don't think it usually works out. And if you are going to get married, it seems like we could go to a priest or a preacher and handle that without getting the government involved. I'd be happy to do that, make some sort of soul bond, swap rings. But I don't want to get a fucking lawyer involved. I don't need a... What you're describing is called a marriage, Kyle. Not the way it's done nowadays, though. Everybody gets a real marriage with a marriage license

and consequences and repercussions if things go poorly. And sometimes there's... They take a vote. Even in like a no-fault marriage where you just are going to go your separate ways and there's no assets to divide, it's still going to cost you like $10,000. It's rough.

Yeah. It's what a DUI costs. Oh, yeah. That's true. You know, they do weddings at the Taco Bell in Vegas. That's a good cheap one you can do. Yeah. There's no way a marriage that began at Taco Bell is going to prosper, though, you know?

Like, I feel like it has a better chance than the normal ones, you know? I say, I think there's a, there's like an inverse correlation, the amount of money that you spend on a wedding to the success of the marriage. Is it really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Like, it feels way too specific for me to be pulling it out of my ass. But I think like people get married in courthouses are more likely to succeed than like people who spend $100,000 on their wedding. That's that's a much nicer venue than I thought it was going to be. They've clearly, dude, they've either framed this shot super well.

But I got to say that Taco Bell is a little classy. They tied the Taco Bell. I've done research on this because I saw an Instagram reel on this. And I was someone, they make like a Baja blast cake for you. and I was so intrigued by this that I like went on the website and I'm on it right now actually it's literally just the upstairs of a Taco Bell location

like it's not like a separate venue or anything in Vegas they have the have you guys heard of the Taco Bell can'tinas that serve a liquor? No that's a thing. Oh dude dude you guys are missing out they have a few of them around the Vegas strip and everything

but one of them upstairs has an actual like little chapel area where you do this at And like one of the, apparently they always have someone on staff who's like ordained to like certify your wedding. And like you can just get it done. You just book it. Right now I'm looking. Dude, we could get married today still.

They have openings at 7 p.m. Oh, will they gay marry you too? Dude, yeah. It's 2026. Huh. You can be gay at Taco Bell. Obama passed that law, dude. You're legally allowed to be gay at Taco Bell.

I don't know. I never tested the boundaries of the, of the law. law in that manner. It's only $777. I'll do it for free. I'm going to drain minister. You ever married? Really? Yeah. Oh. Could you actually marry? Are you ordained? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Well, that's interesting. I heard you can do that like really quick online. Oh yeah. It depends on the state, like whether or not they recognize it. But I married like one of my childhood best friends and his wife. They're still married. And then, um, y'all know donut operator, the YouTuber? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. He's one of my best friends. And,

I'm the minister at him and his fiance's wedding here in like a month. You are? Yes, sir. That's awesome. You got a resume going. Oh, man, if we'd known, we'd have had you marry Taylor and his lady. That would have been hilarious. I just don't think it's a good idea.

Last time Taylor got married, right before he got married, I was telling him like, dude, don't get married. Don't do this. You're going to be a big mistake, man. You're going to, you're going to fuck up. Like, I was like, you're going to, you know, meld yourself with this other person. You don't know that well a year and a half or something like that. Give it some time. I've known you for 10 years and I wouldn't marry you.

You know what I mean? And, and like, I was like, I tell you what we could do. At the time, Nelly's mansion, I think in Missouri was up for sale. And I was like, what if I moved to fucking St. Louis and we buy Nellie's mansion together? It was like $600,000 for like a $8 million home. It just needed a lot of work. I was like, we'll make a YouTube series where, me and you repair Nellie's mansion and that'll be our lives for the next five years.

Then we'll flip the house and we'll make a couple of milk. And he was like, nope, gonna get married instead. Cost him $10,000 in the courts. Big mistake. Meanwhile, that mansion, I haven't checked up on a while, but I wish we owned Nellie's mansion. That would have been fucking cool. It was one of those like rapper mansions that looked ridiculous. Like he had a big fountain and stuff like that.

I wanted to buy Nellie's house so bad. You got to mop all the piss off the floor though. Nellie wasn't in the piss, I don't think. I thought he was. He's, oh no, that's R. Kelly. R. Kelly.

Oh, yeah, that's R. Kelly. He was on video. That was crazy. Sorry, I remember when I was in high school. That came out when I was in high school that,

like, R. Kelly had pissed on like a 14-year-old girl and there was a video of it. And everybody was like, yeah, I've seen the video. And, like, he didn't get arrested for like 10 more years or something.

There's Nellie's mansion. I thought you were pulling up the piss video at first. Look at her take it. And God damn, this show's hardcore. He just had that on file. like you didn't have to look. Immediately.

Zach's desktop wallpaper. Yeah, that's Nellie's mansion. That's a nice house. Dennis office. The whole kind of dentist are you going to? A real nice one. Do you get to your pictures? At the basketball court and everything, you're tucked away in the woods.

That would have been sick. The fuck was he doing in Missouri. Uh, maybe. Clearly. Living big. It was large. Wow. Woody,

I was just telling him that this is the house that I wanted to buy with Taylor and he got married the first time instead. How much was the house? Like $6.50. Oh, that was more than the marriage was. Well, like my idea. So this was Nellie's mansion. And my idea that I told Taylor, I was like, we buy this house. We'll do a YouTube series where we fix up Nellie's mansion.

And it'll take us a couple years. And then we'll flip the house. I'll make a couple million dollars. And he's like, no, I'm going to get married to this lady instead. She's going to be my life partner. We see how that went. You should have bought the house. That'd be dope.

I want to watch the videos. We'd be right here. We'd be in Nellie's mansion now. Playing basketball out there. Awesome. God, imagine the webcam view of like us in our normal rooms right now and you two in Nellie's mansion. Exactly.

That'd be so dope. Some marble columns in the background. Bad audio. I think it's in, was it in Missouri, Zach? Like I had the memory that it was like,

like he didn't even have to move. I was like, I'll move. I'll move. I'll move. Zach said he's from St. Louis. Yeah. See,

it's in his neck of the woods. That was the, that was the gem of the whole thing. It's part of the selling point. You'd live where there's legal pot. Sure, there's legal pot there. Yeah.

Yeah. That's just inspiring in the year. What? Wait. Before we move on to the Cuban news, legal pots, expiring? Oh, that's right. Yeah, they put it into the

Trump budget bill for some reason. Yep. Yeah. God, it's a lot of alcohol lobbying money on that. I want to go to Florida. That's probably what I'll do. St. Louis is like in the minority, but I got to go somewhere. Like, I'm not going to smoke illegal weed. We're not doing that

again. But I'd like to smoke some weed. So I think Florida has medical. That's the closest. Maybe towards the end of the year, I'll buy a lifetime supply. Just invest. like $2,000 in gummies. I'll say that. Wait, is that illegal?

Yeah. You'll buy the legal. All right. I will throw all my gummies away. I will destroy them. I would destroy them the day that the law passes. I thought it was illegal to like sell them and buy them, not own them, but I don't know why I thought that.

It's like those bump stocks. Like they made them illegal and I called my dad as I knew he had like 20 of them and I was like, hey, you got to get rid of those bump stocks. I made him fucking illegal. He like melted them all down. Then they went back on their word like a year later. The Supreme Court overturned it. Uh-huh.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. A little different. Yeah. $4,000 worth of stocks. That dude never fucking wins in court. Like, he just does shit. Like, why don't you check if it's legal before you do it?

Well, you don't know if it's legal before you do it. That's, that's, he's doing things so big that they have to go to the Supreme Court. Who decides if something's legal or not, you know? It's. some of this stuff is predictable. You know, that you can do this so you can't. The Cuban thing. So the 10 people went over to Cuba trying to murder?

You're not familiar with this? I don't know anything about this. No idea. Okay. So 10 men from Florida. Some of them were U.S. citizens. I know at least one was on a K-1 visa, which I don't know what that is. I don't know all their legality status, but 10 Floridians got on what they're calling a speedboat.

but it's actually like a 24 foot ski boat. And they sailed that thing from Florida to Cuba, which is like 90 miles, like it's doable. And they went over there, apparently to just kill and maim and murder. They had assault rifles, whatever that may be,

some pistols, bulletproof vests, improvised explosives. And when they came upon the Cuban Coast Guard, they opened fire. Well, didn't go real well. A couple of them are dead. The rest are in custody now.

And the United States and Cuba are trying to figure out why 10 Floridians went over there seemingly with murder on their mind. Cuban expats? They were trying to do their little bay of pigs or what's up? Well, at least one was a U.S. citizen. Well, they could still be a Cuban expat if they are a U.S. citizen. They could be like a new citizen, right? It's not taking place in a vacuum, though. Obviously, we just took Venezuela off the table, so Cuba is starving for energy and the lights are going out and we're interfering with Mexico's usual support with them. We're cornering them politically. So it's interesting that a boat full of armed gunmen, CIA, we're going to. I cannot say that if you, oh, it was a stolen boat too. They stole the boat.

Cubans have automatic. plausible deniability, right? Yeah, why not steal the boat? I think Cubans have automatic citizenship if they touch American soil. Really? I've never heard that. I don't know. I might be pulling that out of my ass, but again, it feels too specific

for me to have made that up. Most of what I know about that comes from Scarface. No, I think there's some like expatriation law that was written in the 60s, like during the embargo, where if a Cuban touches American soil, they're

automatically an American citizen. Interesting. I don't know. It's crazy that they've been. Fact check me, please. This weird pigmy thing, nine miles off the coast of Florida. You're close.

I think if they come, if they're admitted into the U.S. and they've been here a year, they can get a green card. Okay. It's not automatic citizenship, but it is special immigration treatment.

And a green card's pretty good. People don't, I think a lot of people don't know what green cards are like, but that's permanent. It's all, it's everything but voting. You can live here, you can work here, you never go away, you have all the rights. It's the only thing you're missing is voting when you're a green card holder. But they could probably take a green card away, whereas they can't really expatriate you without something. I don't know what it takes to expatriate somebody to like take their citizenship away and make them a whatever. You would imagine it only happens in dual citizenship scenarios when some sort of espionage is taking place or something like that like some crazy circumstance

before this recent environment like no one ever took away a green card like that was like a never ever crazy thought but now suddenly it's like well there's different levels of being here lawfully and they're just kind of american are you exactly like anything full-blown citizen is at risk but that didn't used to be the case yeah i think we're safe Yeah, I think it should depend on skin color. My family's been here longer to Trump's house. Same. We've been here since the 1600s.

We did my, my, we're looking, every, I look at my ancestry DNA every now and then because they update and add stuff. And I was flexing on Taylor the, a couple weeks ago about just how white I am. It's like 97.9% Irish and English. And then when it delineates off into Europe, it goes to, it's like France and Ireland. and places like that. Slovenia is the closest my ancestry comes to like not white people.

Meanwhile, Taylor, I think Chis has some like, he might have African. I know that like he's like Sicilian ancestors or something like that. He's a little swarthy looking

if you know what I mean. You're an egg plant. My sister got the DNA test on. Me and all my siblings were like, oh no you don't want that information out there or whatever we just knew we were like anglos for fucking forever my little sister out of the four of us gets the DNA test done and she shows up and she's like wow we're you know 75 percent uh british i think i've told this story on the show for him but we're 75 percent british and 25 percent scandinavian i didn't know we had

scandinavian blood in us and it's like yeah that was not voluntary we come from a long line of slow women and strong men. I think all people do. I think all people do, which explains why women are so slow and men are so much stronger, huh? Interesting. Speaking of that, I have all these jokes that are in a program. I come up a line of gullible women and charming men. Unlikely.

No, I was very, I was very, very happy when the men won gold. But then it's sort of like taking this bad PR turn. I feel like they cozied so much up to Trump that half of America decided that it wasn't so cool that the men won the gold medal in hockey anymore and that they're assholes. And it's like, come on, they still won the gold medal. Like, they can't go to the White House? Like, I'd go to the White House of Trump invited me. That's a good question for you, Woody, because I think we both have strong feelings at this point. We're copacetic on Trump, I feel like. But if he invited, if they were recognizing podcasts and he was like, I love PKA.

Barron showed me PKK. That Woody guy's a real straight shooter. I want him to come to the white ass. You'd go, right? I was going to say no until I heard the invite. Now I'm kind of tempted. Like, oh, he likes straight shooter. I would love to talk to him and just be like McDonald's.

Another way, and there's McDonald's involved? Like if I could have even the smallest impact, plant a seed of something better than what he's got going on. I don't know. At first, when I saw it, I was pro hockey team. I was like, look, these guys are like 24 years old. Like, you're allowed to be nonpolitical. And you're also allowed to disagree with me politically. Like, can we just have something that's nonpolitical?

I know Cash Patel showed up in the fucking locker room and started chugging the beers and celebrating like, did fucking something other than cover for pedophiles. But, you know, whatever. The hockey players didn't put Cash Patel in there. Cash Patel put himself in there on a taxpayer-funded trip so that he could enjoy himself. But over time, I'm like, I don't know. It feels like a bad look.

I haven't heard him. There isn't even a tweet where they're like, look, this wasn't really about politics for me. I was just celebrating and drinking champagne or whatever. whatever. And then they showed up at the state of the union and they just, they're wearing the red hats, right? Well, now, were they? I didn't even. Am I wrong about that? Let me see. They were wearing the red hats. I saw. I didn't clock that. Now you're on team pedophile. You can't wear the MAGA hat without being okay with raping children. Like we're all, we all know this now, right?

If you wear a MAGA hat, you don't find raping children and grown women for what it's worth to be much of a deal breaker. If you're a mom. maga guy, you're also a little bit guardians of pedophile in there. So it's like you can't show up and wear the maga hat without having the consequences of being pro-child rape.

That's where we are now. There's no doubt. Anyone who was buying this shit five years ago when you thought it was Clinton, there's thousand times more evidence with Trump. So these guys have now say, the USA what I'm good with.

But the MAGA hat you're pro-child rape. You can't wear that and not be okay with raping children like Donald Trump is. It's possible that those guys practicing a lot and they hadn't been following the files. They're also in a young...

You know, they're their early 20s or whatever? I don't know. What I will say is I wouldn't wear the hat. I would do everything that they did up to wearing the hat. I really wouldn't wear that fucking hat. I really wouldn't. I would absolutely go. I would want to do...

I'm going to go to the Oval Office. I'm going to tell. Taylor's grandchildren about this someday, you know? I'm like, I was there in the Oval Office. I would, that would be something I held on for life. I was like, yeah, I've actually been in the Oval Office

much smaller than you'd think. You know, that would be, how many movies have you watched where there's an Oval Office there? What if you're, you're going to be the only guy in almost every room you're ever in, who's actually been in the Oval Office, who's touched the residential where I can't find the door. Yeah, been in a lot of rectangular rooms.

Been in a lot of rectangular rooms. I would absolutely go. State of the Union? Oh my God, millions of Americans are going to see us there. That's awesome. I would love to be honored

in front of all of Congress and the joint chiefs of staff and half of the Supreme Court and at least a quarter of America like them giving me my props for winning us a gold medal. Absolutely would go to that. But I couldn't put that hat on.

The hockey players from Minnesota State Home. The amount of joy, it brings me knowing that Taylor is not here for this conversation is indescribable. like world-breaking hockey news happens and he's on his fucking honeymoon

and poor Taylor when he comes back we need to shut him down a meet like oh we did like three hours of that because he won't walk everybody of course we did burn out on the hockey talk we should make a fake

thumbnail where in addition to the four of us there's like one of the members from the hockey team on the show we're like oh yeah we had him joined for a little while he talked about it but yeah he's going to hate it. I watch the game. I don't like hockey. I hate hockey. Honestly, it's kind of boring. I find it to be

pretty boring. Do you like it in person? Yes. Oh, it was tremendous person. Everyone to a man says that sport is so much better in person than on TV. Yeah. Like it's an environment unlike any other sport because, or at least any other sport I ever done because it was cold. You know, you're down there. When I went

Taylor, we were right behind the players. Like, they were just plexiglass between me and whoever the fuck on the hurricanes. And when I'd go back in the day, to the Thrashers games, we'd have shittier seats, but it was chilly in there. Nonetheless, you know, you'd have your jacket on, drinking cold $8 beers in there watching the boys play the Bruins or whoever. It was a good time.

And it's fat. You can appreciate how fast-paced it is when you're there, whereas on TV, everything just, it's covered so well that they don't seem like they're going fast. I mean, they clear they are, but you don't get a grasp for it. You also can't tell how big they are on those skates. They're like, everybody's 6'4 out there on skates. When I would go to hockey games, I would show up early. for warmups.

And you can, even if your seat's not there, you can walk behind the goalie, lots of people do it. So it's me and all these like seven-year-olds behind the goalie, like shoot the puck at me, shoot the puck at me.

High five. And the players do. Like if they, like, I don't ask for the puck itself, but the goalie's not always ready for a shot to be shot at him. And when that happens,

they just fire it at the fans. And it's really neat. And they're, their wrist shots are so like fast and low effort yet they're faster than my slap shot which is like and I'm like this is outrageous I used to think like I wonder if I could handle an NHL just warm up like would I be bumping into other players what would I could I be competent enough just to shoot it on net in advance and they're amazingly good they're so fast it blows me away. I'll say on the on the in-person note I had a girlfriend who was like super into hockey.

She was a huge LA Kings fan and we went to just like whatever minor league you know one step down from the NHL and it was their version of the Stanley Cup essentially and I don't know what the beef was and I don't understand if like if it's like baseball where they play you know best out of seven games type shit but as soon as they were in the in the center of the ice center ice i think it's called again sorry taylor i don't know shit but they drop the puck and these guys i don't know what beef they had both of them immediately the center center forward just throw their gloves off and they're just beating the shit out of each other and being there in person like if i was watching it on tv i wouldn't give a shit but being there in person that was

like i love this fucking game dude i embarrassed myself i was at a philadelphia phantom's game which is an hl team like a minor leagues and we used to go and watch them all all the time. They were cheap. And there was this one guy, I forget his real name, like Bia Wallace, but his nickname was the animal. And every time he hit the ice, he was just haunting other players. He was barely even a hockey player. He was just a bully. And he grabs this guy and he starts fighting him. And I yell, fuck him up. And then like moms and children are looking at me. And I'm like, I got a little excited there. it was not classy

but dude hockey's a great thing to watch in person it's a blast I don't really need it to be NHL level HL is just as good to me I think fighting is like half the reason those guys even play the sport like I have a good buddy of mine who plays minor league hockey and he plays like two or three games week like every Sunday not like minor league like

the HL or whatever you're saying but like minor league like he's playing with drunk guys at the local ice rink at like Sunday at 5 you know yeah I played that for decades. And he, there's a team he plays against that's all cops in Orange County and they're like the biggest dickheads and he says they specifically go out there

to just like brutalize people and like everyone does the same to them because like they're cops. So it's like oh I get the being up a cop tonight you know and not get arrested. And yeah, that's like half the fun of the sport. Fuck the hockey part. That's a blast.

I had the opposite experience. We went up there and we played against this army team. And oh my dude early in the game one of the army guys just fucking leveled one of my teammates And then the other guy like one of his teammates was like whoa whoa dial it back look who we're playing Which was somehow more insulting than the check was it's like give these boomers a We're not giving them our a game but it's back a little bit the lot the win is secured We're playing guys with mortgages leave them alone we're going to win this game don't hurt them exactly and you know what when i like part of me was

insulted a part of me was like i'm glad they have that mindset that's what i need from you but hockey's fun yeah our team names were all goofy we played the ice holes only here for the beer we were the buffalo wings it's fun i've always wanted to own like one of those shitty hockey teams or something like a real bad team to cheer for it yeah know. Shorzi was a last TV show. If you guys haven't seen it, it's so good. Yeah.

I went to watch it a couple days ago, and I was shocked at how many seasons of that show there are. It just, like, kept scrolling. There's like 18 seasons or something like that. I had no idea. Like, I haven't watched it in a couple years. I don't think that's right. Am I crazy? Oh, not Shorz.

I'm thinking of the other show they do. Letterkenny? Yeah. I see. Yeah, Shoresy's really good. I watched it until the end, and then I think maybe another season happens since then. I think I might have seen up to four and five exists now. I've seen a couple seasons of Shorzy.

I like that guy. I think I would like him in just about anything he did. He's not Shorzy from Letterkenny, right? They got a new actor. Same guy. It's the main character from Letterkenny. Oh, why am I so confused? I didn't even recognize that was the same person.

I'm sure he and letter keney's a skinny guy right no it's no so in letter kennie the main character of the show whose name escapes me who's always there in the cold opens and stuff he also plays shorsi they just never they always showed him from the back they sort of never showed or they showed him with his like his visor down and stuff like that he's missing teeth of course so they they did that to him and you just he was mostly like a side character who when they played hockey if i remember correctly would would like chirp the people like like severely and that there was always some funny bit about that and then they made the spin off where they just have them straight up just play the guy I think that's argument yeah I like that I like the writing it's it's really snappy and fun when they're doing those cold opens where they're talking about how cold it is with every letter of the alphabet that's great stuff that must have taken so many takes it's like such a tongue poster the like the thing about Shorzie is one of one of one of the things about him is how when he when you interview him mid sentence he goes huh like just

fucks up your flow and messes it up and then he got it be like there's this woman who he kind of falls in love with and she's a reporter and she would predict when he said it and like shortcut it and it was just so good i like that shows so much she go huh at like the same time he did and disarm it it's like a parry of some sort do you uh are either of you guys watching night of the Seven Kingdoms, that new Game of Thrones spinoff thing, the prequel? I still, like, haven't even

watched the actual Game of Thrones yet. Okay. Well, what are we doing? I was going to answer your question. I have a dumb ass fucking Game of Thrones answer real quick, though, because I, I allegedly torrented the original Game of Thrones

when it first came out because it couldn't afford HBO. And I was on, like, episode three and it's uh calisi the hot blonde chick when she's getting banged out by uh jason moa yep and uh i'm watching this torrent and i thought it was just like the director's artistic interpretation of the story and you kind of have to feel it out like what's going on so they introduce these characters and i'm watching it and they're speaking their made up language and i'm like huh i kind of have an idea what's going on and then the next episode was just they're speaking this made up language the entire time

and then the episode after that and I was like, this show's gay as shit, dude. I have no idea what's going on. Turns out I had the subtitles turned off. You're supposed to be reading what they were saying the entire time. So I got real turned off. I thought you had like a Bangladeshi audio version.

No, it was Swedish. It was Swedish actually. I saw the hot girl's tits the entire time. But other than that, I was like, this show is fucking retarded. Everybody I know is lame. So I have not seen the, the follow-up show.

Game of Thrones is tremendous goblins. Some of the greatest TV ever made. Literally, like, seasons one through five are probably the greatest TV ever made. This new show is really lighthearted and fun, though. It's only six episodes. It's all out already. They're 30 minutes of pop.

You could binge watch them in a night, and it's really good. Last episode, kind of a miss, maybe. No, I was happy with it. I was happy with it, you know? Like, the big fight, it was kind of the aftermath of the big fight. And, you know.

Spoilers. I just wish that the whole season hadn't been so quick. I wish there'd been 12 episodes instead of six. Is it over? Yeah, that's it. That you gotta wait like a year. That was the finale, that nothing of the aftermath of a... I think if you'd known it was the finale going in,

you wouldn't be reacting to it this way now. You know, everybody gets together and they lead off into like the distance and sort of a like to be continued sort of thing. I'm going to start reading the books if you want to get into the book. It just edged us all season long. And then when the fight finally happens, we get four and a half seconds into it. Then they edge us for 20 minutes of flashback. And then they give us the fight through bad video, like one eyes closed.

He's looking through a helmet, sort of whatever. And then there's a letdown of a finale where they talk a little. I liked it, dude. I liked it. I thought it was cute. I love the child actor. That's one of the best child actors I've ever seen. he's tremendous.

Egg is fucking hilarious. I've never seen a little man like put on a performance like that. He's got me hook, line, and sinker. I just hope they make the next season before he's like 14 or something. It looks nothing like he looks like. I was going to say,

I think, like, if this spinoff nails it, I wouldn't mind if they did a spinoff of egg and just showed his life. Well, it's a book series. So like, you know, they're not making this up, Polkloaf. They're following the Hedge Knight novels right now. I see.

There are three of them. He wrote one of them in like the 90s and then another one in like 2002 and then another one like 2010. But I think Egg's life is a story worth telling, it seems. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how much of the, I don't know what the books are like, but I'm about to start reading the books. I bought them on an audible.

I'm about to do that. I'm also going to do that dungeon crawler Carl book series too. I bought all those. I got some reading to do. I need to catch up on this series, dude. What are you watching? I just started House MD pretty recently. Were you like in a coma for several years?

And you're just like catching up on some early 20s TV. I love the 90s TV selection. I don't know. You guys heard of the show called Seinfeld? I just kind of like, I just kind of let my like Twitter mentions guide me, you know, whenever I'm trying to pick a new show. And I just did a, I just finished, my girl and I watched every episode

of King of the Hill front to back because we hadn't done that. We'd like sporadically just seen like whatever was on TV, but it was like, you know, that's actually watched the whole series, which made me feel very differently about the reboot that I originally did. I like house though. House is really good.

House is great, dude. I'm not very far in. I just got done with the episode where, the mobster episode where the Gift House of Car and dudes in there with his, his like gay like mob brother who's like in the closet and he's like how suggested to him he's like I think he has happy from being gay and he's like my brother's not gay like don't say that about him and he slaps him uh Hugh Lowry's I don't know if you know this but Hugh Lowry the

main actor is British he's got a he's got a strong British accent it's one of the best fake American accents I've ever heard yeah that's a good show I watch a show yeah there's a ton of content there to watch. It gets pretty repetitive. It's the same thing every episode of every season, pretty much. Here's a hot take. It's never lupus. It's never lupus.

It's never really lupus. They suspect it every time. Yeah, I don't know. I'm liking it though, but after that, I don't know what I'm going to watch. I guess Game of Thrones, but like I'm just intimidated by the hour-long episodes and like two spin-off series. Are you like this too where? you'll see an hour long show or an hour and a half long movie and be like I am not committing to that

I shall instead watch 19 20 minute long things yes 100% I think it's a problem for cinema and for movies in general because I used to be all about a four hour movie I was oh the director's cut tell me more Ridley Scott but now I'm just like oh my god three hours and 45 minutes what time is it now but if it were a TV series we just watched two episodes of it tonight and we'd watch three more tomorrow or something like that. A weird mindset to have, but it's definitely everybody. I think it's our entire culture. Everybody's going to lean toward more 90-minute movies. Did you see, y'all know who Mark a Plyer is, the YouTuber?

Yeah. He made a movie, right? 50 million gross now on a $3 million budget. It's one of the bigger successes ever. Yep. And he self-funded the whole thing now. Uh-huh. He wrote it, he directed it. He started it. in it. He's getting a lot of paychecks. And it's good, right? Like people are liking it. I guess so. It's

probably good for what it is. Yeah, it's a horror movie. I think it's like a monster movie, you know, that sort of thing, which is the most profitable genre to jump into for early pictures. Almost everybody starts in horror. Hmm. They're very profitable. Well, good for him. I don't know anything bad about him. I always have anything bad about him. Every time I see him mention online, it's just praise and love. It's a little too much, maybe. Maybe a little too much praise.

Yes. Yes. Yes. My point about him. problem with his is jealousy my own. Too many fucking people like him. I don't know why my movie didn't do better. Maybe if I wrote it would help. That's awesome.

$50 million. And especially now, I feel like people don't go to the movies nearly as much as they used to. I think the Avatar ended up making like one and a half billion. So it fell short of that $2 billion mark that they felt like they needed.

I'm like all of Hollywood, not all of Hollywood, not all of Hollywood, Hollywood movies, that whole industry, the whole concept of me going out to the movie theater and paying through the butt for like popcorn and tickets. I'm kind of cooked with it. But there isn't much that can get me to go to a movie theater anymore. I'm just, no. I only go if if it's going to be a big epic that will benefit from IMAX or it will benefit from 70 millimeter. If they do that, like when Chris Nolan does a movie and they do one of those 70-millimeter road shows, I go to those.

But this next movie of his, I'm not happy with the historical liberties they took. So I'm not even going to watch it. I don't even care. I'm not going to watch the, what is it? What do they call it? Troy, it's about the Odyssey. The Odyssey. I'm not watching that.

I mean, Helen and Troy, a black lady. Who could imagine? A black woman, beautiful? Well, it's not that. He's literally described as like fair-skinned and blue-eyed. Like they go on and on about just how white this lady is in the, and then the, uh,

I'm, uh, I'm not super sensitive about the casting. Like I didn't have, I had zero problem with all the casting in that, uh, Sir Duncan the tall show. What is it called?

Night of the Seven Kingdoms. A night of the Seven Kingdoms. I didn't have any issue with all the casting in that. I'm totally down. Cool. But, Like you, I don't know, if the little mermaid's not a little redhead, it's not right to me. Like, that's part of the thing.

If Rapunzel was cast as a black person, the whole thing is about her long, silky hair that, like, grows down a tower and lets someone climb up and saver, I think, something like that. Yep. Can't be kinky hair. You can't recast that. Like, it's kind of a core part of the story. So when it is a core part of the story like this, like just cast it to someone who fits the role. They'll never do. They always say this.

they'll never do the live action version of Tarzan. Why? Because they can't make a black guy run around and go, uh, uh, with a bunch of monkeys in the jungle and make friends with them. Just cast a white guy. Not doing that.

Brendan Frazier play Tarzan? Am I making that up? He played Tarzan, yeah. Yeah. And then, oh, no, no, no, no. He was George of the jungle. George. Ah, yeah, as strong as he can be.

But there was a Tarzan that was the vampire from something. Or is his name? No, more current than that. He got in really good shape, but he was also in that true blood guy. Yeah, it is the true blood guy. The guy plays Eric and true blood. Vandergaalter.

I thought if I got close enough, I could help. True blood, no blonde vampire. Alexander Scarsguard. Yeah, there's like five of those Scarsguard brothers and siblings and father. Oh, yeah. The worse than the Culkins. He got in the worst shape of that. what he got in good shape

yeah yeah he got in pretty good shape he's already like you know he's got a frame that he put any muscle on it at all and he looks like a wild man the Northman he's in tremendous shape too that came out a couple years ago it's Robert Eggers movie it's a little dry I usually like his movies and this was dry and boring I do not like that

what's that you like the witch yeah love the witch which is one of my favorite movies, especially in the last 10 or 15 years or whatever. What's Her Name is Tremendous in it. We get to see her butt at the end. Yeah. Black Peter was creepy as fuck. Like every time Black Peter starts fucking talking, I'm creep the fuck out. And I really like the period-specific language. I like that he sticks to that in all of his movies. If he does a 16th century movie, they're speaking in 16th century slang. And it's kind of hard to follow sometimes.

That was a good movie. He wrote the he wrote that entire script. Like he studied the language and wrote the entire script around like or yeah, 17th century language. Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah, I like that a lot.

I like that it was just that there wasn't any like wackiness. Sometimes movies get too complicated and there's a twist at the end. It's like, was that all real? It's like, no, that was all fucking real. That was the devil. That was the devil and these are witches and some fucked up shit happened. They ate the baby. The baby's not coming back.

It's like, fuck, that was hard. I don't need a twist at the end. Like it just straight up being the devil is pretty good. I like that movie a lot. He did the Nasferatu movie too, right? Yeah, I haven't seen that one yet. But yeah, he did that. He did the lighthouse.

The lighthouse is one of my, I like the lighthouse way more. It might be my favorite of his movies. I like it more than which. That is a weird movie. And Willem Defoe, I think, is like, he's just chewing through that dialogue. I pull those clips

on YouTube all the time and just watch him go on his rants about whatever the fuck he's talking about because again it's in that period specific lingo that's kind of hard to follow without captions yeah that's a really good movie the the Nospharatu movie I did not like as much

it was a little too dry and it turned out that the way to get rid of Dracula was by having sex with him at the end I was going to say I feel like the theme of all of his movies is like nobody can understand what you're saying and also you're super horny. Yes. Yeah. There's a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah.

And Dracula in that movie looks like a corpse of a dog that's been sewn onto the corpse of a person. Whose idea is that, though? gruesome Dracula. Who's idea with what? I don't know. I'm thinking, like, if I'm going to make a movie, I'm just going to go to town to town

terrorizing people and I won't leave until somebody bangs me. Like that's a good experience for me anyway. That's why they call you the threat. This guy, yeah, this guy won't leave a town, won't leave his alone until someone bangs him. Dope.

A solid premise. Do you guys see the new, oh, sorry. Do you guys see the new 28 years movie? No, but I've seen the previous two, and I was kind of into it. I've only seen the giant dong. I am, well, yeah, that's probably the most memorable part of the whole new

relaunch of the franchise. But I am a very big fan of like zombie movies in general. And 28 days and years are like two of my favorites, days specifically. And the new one that just came out, Bone Temple, they didn't market it. There's 28 days, there's 28 weeks,

and then there's 28 years, which came out last year. And then there's 20 years later Bone Temple, which is the new one that came out like three weeks ago. I'm not surprised you haven't heard about it because they didn't market it. Yeah. They like did not market it at all. That was the last movie.

You said it's not a good movie? You liked Bone Temple? I did. Yeah. With Rick Hunt. Nah, dude. Yes. Dude. I first, I feel like my problem with that movie was I feel like it was barely a zombie

movie. Like it was just like a like a, a segue into what is probably going to end up being the zombie movie, what they tease at the end, which I don't know if I want to spoil right here. But I want to know. What do they tease at the end? Like I guess zombies someone gets bit or something. So at the very end, in 28 years and the newest one, Bone Temple, they only very briefly

show like a clip of, how do you say the guy's name, Celian Murphy? Killian Murphy, yeah. Killian Murphy? Okay. Yeah. I knew it was some weird pronunciation. Irish book. Yeah, but I've never seen that name before.

But at the very end of the newest one, there's like a very short scene where it shows him with like this little girl who's like, he has like a couple kids that he's protecting and they're like walking back to this house. And it like very heavily insinuates that the next movie is going to follow him. Which is like very exciting because, you know, obviously he was in the original movie and everything. but like it's kind of weird because in the original 28 years

I feel like we already saw him like as a zombies so now we're gonna go back in time again and see how that happened and then also like why even make this movie instead of just giving us that because you know

my whole thing is like when I go see any of the 28 years or 28 days of movies like I want like a movie about the infection and like the zombies first and I think I can count on my fingers how many zombies I use. even saw on the new one.

You know? Like it's really not very many. They didn't want to remake the same movie again. Yeah. It's an independent story about the jimmies. But I think that's what I want to see. I like the Jimmy card. I like Resident,

not Resident Evil, but Final Destination. I like the Final Destination movies. It's like a guilty pleasure. They're all the fucking same. They're all the fucking same. One way or another, the group of people are going to be stalked by death slash fate

itself and wacky, Rube Goldberg machines are going to kill them. And at first you're going to think it's going to be the bus that's been, that they keep showing this lady about across the street. They keep cutting to the bus that's barreling toward them. Keep cutting it to him. You're like, oh, that bus is going to hit her.

And then the fucking, like, bird shits on the traffic light and the red light sign falls down and crosses her. And they're like, oh, I didn't see that one coming. It's that over and over for five fucking movies. I like that. They could have done that with 28 days later and I wouldn't have complained. If they just, here's what happened in America. Here's what happened in China.

I could just see the same movie again. I wouldn't complain. I think in that in that world, they've like isolated it to Great Britain. Like the virus is only on Great Britain. Sure. But like each movie is now like, well, you know, you do the,

it's like the alien movies. Every alien movie is essentially about the big corporation wanting to get their hands on a xenomorph to turn it into a biological weapon and then things go awry. Just you do that every single movie. So it could be the same thing. Chinese want the virus.

They're trying to make a vaccine for it. Wink, wink, wink, nod. At the Wohan, at the Wohan lab. The Wohan facility. Yeah. But like the universe storytelling, I think, like, I dug that.

It was like, it's like, here's the universe we're living in, and we're telling this story about this doctor, like in the case of Ray Fines and then also the little boy who gets like abducted by that cult. Hmm. Yeah. I mean, it's,

it's a good. movie. The whole, the Jimmy arc with them being like a satanic group led by a complete psycho is dope. But I just feel like they kind of fumbled the whole story of the doctor a little bit. Like I feel like he could have had a much

like they could have focused on him a little more in the movie and instead we just got like the stupid fucking Metallica scene at the end. That was still cool though. Oh, it's cool. Don't get me wrong. But it was like, dude, come on. I did like that scene too. I was like the only person at the theater. That was the last, we were talking about seeing movies in theaters.

That's the last movie I saw in theaters. But the scene where it's Ray Fines sitting there, which, okay, I will say, that's a different story. But when the main Jimmy or whatever meets him, he's like, are you, you old Nick?

And he's like, oh, is it because of my red skin and the bones? I was like, I was the only person in the theater that laughed. I was like, I got a weird sense of humor. What do you think would be the scariest dystopic future to live in. Give us some choices. Well, I always go with the road.

If you've ever seen the road by or read Carmack McCartney's, the road, the movie has Vigo Morton's it in it. And something has happened. There's been some global catastrophe. And like all the plants are dead. And the sky is scorched gray all the time. And it storms and there's acid rain. And there's no food.

And society's collapsed. And Vigo Morton is sick. He's coughing all the time. It's not good. And he's got his son with him who's like 11 or 12 or something. And we've got a gun, but it's only got two bullets. And they're not really for defense. They're so he can kill him himself and his son if the roaming cannibal rape gangs

ever catch them so that his son won't be raped and eaten by the cannibal rape gang. And then he has to use one of the bullets. So now he's only got one bullet. And just the whole time they are just suffering. It's nothing but suffering for the whole movie. I remember being boring, the road. I mean I found it scary

I was always like nervous for them to get caught because of the roaming cannibal rape gangs I really didn't want that to happen to them Yeah Yeah They're in um 28 days later too I think there yeah

I didn't see 28 days later But those are scary I don't want to do with that You didn't see 20 days later is the first one Like whatever the new thing is I didn't see Oh yeah Years and apparently Years something else is even

I didn't know about that one. Yeah. But 28 days later had a cannibal gang. Oh, they were cannibal rape gang as I process it. You know, I remember they got her the pretty dress and stuff and they drugged her. So yeah. Okay. Well, I'm thinking the first movie when those soldiers were like, yeah, they were the

cannibal rapists. I would also like to be the leader of that gang. I mean, if there's going to be a gang, I'd like to be the leader. I don't want to be some peon. They were running around. catching the people that get raped but never getting to rape. I don't want to eat somebody after you fuck them.

Like, get out of here. Let's have a fucking group and an eating group. Let's not mix this up. That's how we got these zombies in the first place, probably. Could be. That's what COVID came from. You're saying ideal, ideal apocalypse scenario. Or wait, I thought it was the worst apocalypse scenario.

The worst one for prediction, the one you would least want to inhabit. For me, it's the road. Whatever that is. Icebreaker or whatever, the one with the Korean film where they're on that train. You're the world's frozen. Snowpiercer, yeah. Being trapped on a train with poor people. That's worse.

That's worse than mine. You're right. Snowpiercer's worse. We've got a friend that worked on the TV series if you ever saw that. I am. He's a weapons guy. I don't remember what it's called, but you might. In the olden days, it might be a true story.

they're sailing and their ship gets stuck in the ice and I think they get lead poisoning and they all go a little bit crazy and there might be monsters involved. Yeah, yeah. That's a rough, cold, hungry, terrorizing dreadful position to be in. Yeah, that's a true story. I think it's the Shackleford Expedition is the true story. And it's what you said. They had like three years of food. But when you know it, they got stuck in the ice for four.

or five or something like that. And they were eating those canned meats and peaches that were sealed with lead. And a lot of them had gone bad and gone rancid. And then what they had was contaminated with lead poisoning with lead. And I don't think they had quite grasped the danger of prolonged. You know, if you're eating for three years on that food, things add up. And their gums are bleeding and they're going insane, all of them. And they have to walk out, basically.

The ships are squeezed by the ice and crushed. And it's like, I don't remember how far they need. to walk, but it's like 1,000 miles, 1600 miles in the archbic. Yeah. But the movie takes some... There was an outpost or a, like, a whaling village or something that was known like in, like, I'm trying to imagine the map like Greenland Way or somewhere like that. They were trying to walk out.

They're so high up on the North Pole that any direction takes them to a different part of the planet anyway, you know? It's all south from here. They're trying to find. a new passageway, if I remember correctly, like through the Arctic in those boats. And they were super well equipped, but it went poorly. In the AMC show, they dramatize it and they make, they add a monster basically. They add like an Eskimo spirit like monster thing. That's pretty scary. It looks like a polar bear, but like three times bigger with the face of a man and like the

calculation of like a man and it's stalking and eating them as the as the show goes. Or is it because they're all insane from the lead, you know? And it's, yeah, that's a pretty good show. It's, it's pretty spooky too. Pretty rough place to live. I make that my choice. Yeah, I wouldn't want that. Snowfish is the worst, though.

Like being on the train. Yeah, Snow peers is awful. The world is frozen over and all of the humans that are left are on a train that circumnavigates the planet. And there's basically, the people who bought tickets were all billionaires. And there's this cattle car in the back. of people who stowed away and charged when the train first took off to try

to find a lifeboat basically as the world sank. And they're treated as like expendable assets basically. Like slave labor and material. Like for the first few months, they didn't have a way to feed them. So they just cannibalized each other. So Chris Evans is in that movie. He's like,

I know what people taste like. I know the babies taste best. It's delicious. Yeah. It's real fucked up. that is kind of fucked up. I bet they do pay it tastes best, though. Yeah, babies would taste best for sure.

All right, Epstein. Jerky, jerky, I'm sorry. Jerky's good. Yeah, that's dark. I think I'm like 50-50 that they're talking about eating people, right? If y'all know what I'm talking about with all the jerky mentions in the Epstein files. 50-50s a hard split. I'm like 90-10.

What else are they talking about? I know. I know exactly. I at least I saw like Bill Marr hand waving at the very idea of it when he had Bobert on his show. And I'm like, wait a minute. Have you read this shit? Have you seen how many mentions of jerky there are? These are billionaires. They don't eat beef jerky.

They're not at Walmart getting some fucking bit. No, dude. These people don't eat jerky. And then when they talk about pizza, they don't eat pizza. pizza and hot dogs grape soda and cheese pizza have we had about jerky with our friends not hundreds of mentions in our whole lives

we haven't talked about turkey as much as these people talk about turkey not once have I emailed you about jerky ever never and I like jerky I love jerky he's a huge fan little venison jerky um just salt pepper the younger the better

he's like veal jerky wouldie veal jerky I feel bad eating the veal jerky But yeah, I'm pretty sure that those people are cannibals and they were eating kids. Definitely at least 50-50. Like 90-10. Yeah. I feel like I'm less informed. I don't want to have an opinion.

I'm not so sure. I like to know what I'm talking about. Well, I mean, all I saw, I don't know how informed I am, but what I've seen is the hundreds of mentions of jerky. And then I saw them talk about, hey, we're actually going to do this seminar. and we're going to learn to make the jerky, not jerky, the jerky, which sort of implies that the sort of, that it's a code work kind of thing. It's a secret recipe. And whoever their messaging knows about the jerky and the implications of what that is,

we're going to be doing, and like the place they're doing it was had cannibals in the name. Like it were going to be like the cannibal kitchen. We're going to be learning to make the jerky. I'm not making this up. It's literally called like the cannibal kitchen or something like that. Definitely the word cannibal is in the name of the place. place that they're apparently getting taught to make the jerky. And again, there's like three or 400 mentions of jerky.

And there's that one email where it's seemingly from the point of view of like Epstein's assistant. And he's about to go on a traveling trip. And they're like, yeah, Jeff is actually switching to regular food for a while. He's got six bags of jerky down in the freezer downstairs. I don't know if that'll be enough for the whole trip. Something like that. And it's like, what do you mean he's switching to regular food for a while?

Like, what is that fucking mean? Why is that a multi-millionaire has been living off of fucking beef jerky? Exactly. Like, he's been living on jerky for a while. Like, what kind of, this is the trucker diet? Like, like, this isn't the sort of thing that these people do. It's so bizarre to me that it really seems like they're eating kids. Yeah, craziest ad for jack links I've ever seen.

Trout. You remember when the Russians got into Podesta's email, then released them like week by week during the 2015 campaign? Are the Podesta emails about cheese pizza and such as damning as the Epstein files? So I have two opinions on that. One, I don't think that was a Russian leak. I think that wasn't. I don't think so. I'd have to look further into it.

But I think that that came from inside. Was that not part of the like the Q and on shit? No. It was right, right? Right? Trump went on the mic, asked for it to happen, and then it almost immediately did. And then Assange released them like week by week, right? Let me see. I'll fact check myself. Is that confirmed from Russia? But know that Q on or the Pizza Gate thing, I guess is what you're getting at. Yeah, the Mueller report in various intelligence agencies concluded that the group that released them as part of the Russian military's intelligence agency, the GRU.

Oh, yeah. Okay, there it is. All fake, don't buy it. Well, okay, well, to your point earlier, Woody, when you were talking about how Trump is a, is a pedophile, which I don't disagree with, I'm not making any allegations here. But like, is he teaming up with Trump to, or teaming up with Russia, rather, to release this information condemning him? Because I genuinely think that those, like the John Podesta shit was alluding to the same thing that Kyle's talking. about yeah so at the time they were saying that cheese pizza was code for child porn and like CP right yeah and I'm like but I don't remember like the phrasing of the email is well enough I thought maybe you'd be on top of it that's why I think it's been so

long it's been so long it's been like it also like it wasn't something to take seriously they they were that at the time I believe I'm usually the one who grabs on the conspiracy theories I love alien shit I love alien and shit ancient fucking cerulean hypothesis all that shit. I like that goofy nonsense. But I was like, I don't know, man. And when the guy went in with his AR-15 and like caused a scene, that made me think that like, oh, man, like this is some, the Russians are like making us fight ourselves and they almost cause a mass shooting. That was my take on it. You know, and it's partially true. But now it seems that maybe they were talking about child sex slaves. And it was the same thing with like, what was the, the furniture company?

Wayfair. Wayfair, yeah. Yeah, that was selling the, the, that one always seemed really loose. Like, they were like, oh, there's items here, curiously high priced. I bet it's a child sex trafficking organization. Well, the items had, like, names. Like, they were named like the same names as kids.

As missing children. You'd have like a $10,000 wardrobe named like Isabella or something, you know. They weren't common names, Woody. They weren't, it wasn't like the Stephanie. It was like the, you know, the, the, the jazz maliqua or whatever and it's like i'm just saying he's like they had children's names i'm like aren't children's names just names yeah well yeah i think that one was maybe like kind of a further reach but i definitely think the whole cheese pizza thing i like dude there's no way that many

like older like like high ranking government officials and like rich people are like yeah let's go get cheese pizza tonight guys and like i also just i feel like it's weird to like even discuss the specific topping because you're all probably going to want something different if you're actually eating pizza. We all like plain cheese, dude. It was bizarre. And they're definitely talking about something. There's definitely some.

I don't know what the code thing is. As far as this Wayfair thing, this was the one I didn't buy in then and I still don't buy into now. You know, I just don't know about this. I don't know what's going on here. That's weird. That's weird that that shelf is $13,000. And has the matching name of a missing child?

It's the Samaya 5. You know, no big deal. Samaya, a very common name for a piece of friends. Well, here's another thing. If you and I were going to start ourselves some vast criminal online shopping for children conspiracy, we wouldn't use the real names, you know. Kyle, you say that. Have you seen these emails?

They're like, I sure do love murdering. See you next weekend. like crumbopulous Michael. I sure do love killing. Women, kids, animals, whatever. Here I go killing again. Yeah. And it's the juxtaposition of like, I loved the torture video.

Thanks. With it sent from my iPhone. It's like, if we don't talk in code about the torture video, then what does cheese pizza and grape soda actually mean, dude? See, I could take that both ways. Like, if I'm a person who doesn't believe that this is, you know, cannibalism, I'd be like, look, they're not codifying torture videos. But why would they codify the other thing? But I can also see it as saying, like, these people are so loose with it that sometimes that you would have to codify that we're eating babies.

But the fact that that Iranian guy or whatever, the UAE guy, thanks for the great torture video or whatever he says. Even Epstein's like, this guy's got no chill. X-Nay on the torture I think they just got they got so comfortable with it they got so comfortable with it that like, you know,

if you're living fast and free, it's like why even hide it anymore we've gotten away with it for so long, you know? I think that's a common criminal thing, right? Like you drop your guard and just get more and more casual about,

what am I looking for, something ops? Not sci ops. Whatever. Operation Security. Opsic, that is what I was going for. Thank you. Yeah, your operation security, your obsec gets worse and worse over time,

and you get too casual, and you lose. They're also insulated. They're so powerful. They've kind of got this group of people around them that keep them insulated from anything else, so you can understand how they get complacent, especially the ones who live in places in the world where the age of consent or the laws around those sort of things

aren't the same as ours. Like, I'm thinking of those Middle Eastern guys specifically. Like that is it less Wexner? Who's the guy getting all the attention? Yeah. Dude. His story falls apart at every turn. Every time he says, I didn't talk to him after this date.

I never went to his house. He never went to my house. I was never on the plane. I was never on the island. Proof of lying. Proof of lying. This guy's so fucking guilty. Everything he says turns out to be a lie about his innocence.

You saw Bill Gates admitted today, right? I did see that. Yes. Yeah, he didn't admit to children, which I don't know if there's any evidence about children, but he did say he helped facilitate affairs. Yeah, two Russian women he admitted to. Let me circle back to the Bill Gates thing and saying, but this last question, he was at the state of the union in an honorable spot.

Like the guardians of pedophiles are circling the wagons, protecting this guy, even though there's so much evidence that he fucks children too. But on Bill Gates is not a right wing or left wing thing. I would say it's not a partisan issue. Well, it's only a part of one party who's in charge of the Justice Department right now. Well, and all these files were in the hands of Biden for the entirety of his administration. I'll take it further. I think it was Massey who said it, who was like they've been in Trump's hands.

They were in Biden's hands. They were in Trump's hands before that and Obama's hands before that. But right now, there is one group engaging in a massive cover up. There is one group who like spent thousands of hours removing Donald Trump's names and Donald Trump files from these things. They're releasing them. Biden's inactivity is not quite the same as a cover-up.

They just didn't do shit. But they're releasing them. I understand the redactions. They're not frustrating as well. They're redacting the names of the bad guys. Like, that's not releasing them. They seem to be doing everything they can at every turn to protect the pedophiles during this releasing them.

You look at stuff and it's like, I sure love fucking that 10-year-old snow white shit kid. And the only thing redacted is the person that said it. I don't call that releasing him. I'm not supporting Trump by any stretch of the fucking imagination, but his administration is at least releasing something as opposed to Biden. They were being forced to by the court. Yeah, they were forced to, right?

They created, like, he did everything he could, including threatening to primary the people that voted to release them from his own party. He called his own party traitors for voting for releasing the Epstein files. That's where the administration. stance. They were all about releasing them during the campaign. And it was almost like he was either just so full of shit that he couldn't like think two steps ahead

or is it possible? He didn't know. He didn't know his name was it. That's what I've always known. I like to imagine that as a comedy movie where he's this justice warrior. He's like, oh, there's going to be so many Democrats that are implicated. Just wait. The Clintons are screwed. They look, sir, you're

named 380,000 times. You're named more times here than Harry Potter is in all seven books, your name more than God is in the Bible, literally, sir. Honestly, down at the bureau, they're calling them the Trump files now. These are the Trump files. Because that's kind of the reality of what ended up being in the files for one reason or another. I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. I think if there's a smoking gun, like there's a picture of Trump doing a bad thing to a kid, then it's not in the files. I think that it's overseas in a sandy region. of the Middle East. It gets your mind running. I'm like, dude, so a lot of people think that Israel was linked to Epstein. And right?

Oh my gosh. What? Is that why we have aircraft carriers outside Iran right now? We're just doing Israel's bidding? What? With the anti-Semitism, Woody. I'll have you know I converted to Judaism on Twitter two days ago. Okay.

That had nothing to do with Jews. It's just politics. and blackmail and coercion and yeah I would say the same thing if it was as any other country yeah it's a real problem but you're not allowed to talk about those people

because I'm not sure why I've been informed otherwise my our people okay I'm converting as well whatever it takes I always say and I'm not even joking I wish that when that genealogy report had came back I was like 50%

fucking Hebrew I would love to get that we've got a friend harley morton seen from you know epic meal time and i think he did the thing maybe where like they roll out the red carpet for foreign um jews and like come come to the homeland and they like show you around and and like give you the red they want you to move back home and have some babies and join the idf and and i and i'm man i fucking join up i fucking join up bro i fucking get right on that team that's the winning team that's the winning team i'm all about bandwagon you see that hat dodgers baby dodgers that i'm a dodgers i'm a dodgers i'm a dodger I'm a Dodgers fan now. Okay, fuck the Braves.

We're winning the series this year. I don't have to wait 10 years for a rebuild. This year we're winning the series. I jump right on that IDF bandwagon, 100%. What would like the white guy equivalent of that be? Like, where would we have to return to? Like, if we had a homeland, would it just be like Tennessee or something?

That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, is, is like, my, my second highest, like percentage of ancestry, but man, there's a lot of stabbing's over there. Every time I see a heading about a headline about Ireland, it's about someone getting their like face slashed open or something awful like that. I don't want any part of that either. I'd love to go to Scandinavia, maybe somewhere up there, like tapping some of that Viking

ancestry. A little Norway or Finland or something. All those people are so attractive. Like I love, and I like cold climates. That's where I'd want to go. I want to go somewhere and explore my Viking ancestry. This is to visit or I think I missed the start? He was saying like if we're going to like go back to the homeland.

Hyperboreal. Yeah. Like what is like just the normal Caucasian guys is real, you know? Hyperborea. Yeah. Inside the North Pole. What's the homiest of homeland? Like where did humanity start?

Was it Iraq? The Nile? Iraq. If you're about civilization, it's Mesopotamia. It's Iraq. But if you're talking about like where we first evolved. It's kind of hard to say, but they think Africa. I think Ethiopia is the current.

Ethiopia? I'm not sure that's a good vacation spot. Not anymore. Right. It's not like it was in the 80s. When you could see those kids with the bugs in their eyes. Or just 25 cents a day. Can you see that picture of the starving African child and the Voltors literally like standing there looking at it. Right. The distended bellies.

Mack, find me that picture. I get a chuckle every time because everybody feels sorry for it. And I'm like, the guy who's taking his picture's camera is worth at least two grand. Like, how can't he? The kid's about to get eaten by a vulture. Bro, they're going to help out.

His belly is still full. The BBC was doing the Planet Earth documentary and these poor penguins got like landlocked. They got stuck behind an ice, like snow collapsed or something and they couldn't get back to the ocean and they were going to die and everybody's fucking crying on the camera crew and they're like you know what we've never interfered before ever get the shovels get the fucking shovels and they're like shoveled the like avalanche out of the

way so this troop of penguins could survive there's like there's no reason to just sit here and watch him die we're not going to do it they saved him oh god I just imagine the cameraman going like waving a an oh henry bar like come here a little fella come here yeah right this way. Look at the lens. Like, Jesus Christ, help him out. What are you taking the picture for? You cackling that way when that picture pulled up. It's the most evil shit I've ever seen in my life. What was with the necklace and the bracelet on that kid?

Why is he wearing two pieces of jewelry? What does he have jewelry? Yeah, sell him to buy some food. Get that kid a slice of Wonderbread and ditch the necklace. I could solve world hunger. I have the answers. Right? Yeah.

That's outrageous. I don't know why you're taking it. that fucking picture, I would immediately be like, come here, a little fella, Jesus Christ. I admire his discipline. I couldn't do that. I would eat. Come on. Come on.

Do something. Right now, it's awful. That kid puts me to shame. That kid would be stringy as hell. You don't eat that kid. You could probably make some of what I'm getting at. You'd have to put that kid down. You'd have to put that kid down. I'll make a broth or something like that. there ain't nothing left on him.

I wonder what happened to that kid. You think he made it? No. He didn't look good. No, he didn't look good. He was in a bad spot. I don't understand why when someone's super, super starving, you can't just feed them. Of course, a lot of my medical information comes from Band of Brothers, but I guess you don't

just give people food when they're that hungry. You got to ease them back into the eating. Yeah. I know that I fasted for like five, six days. before and I read something about you're really supposed to start off with like broth and maybe grits or oatmeal or something like something really light at first because it's bad for your digestive system. I do remember that some people died because they ate too much too fast after like concentration starvation. Hmm. I don't understand why that's lethal.

Maybe Zach will inform us. Zach just let us know that the photographer who took that hilarious photo died by suicide four months after winning the Pulitzer Prize. Jesus. I told you. Just help the kid out. Why are you fucking? I bet he didn't take one, too. He was like,

chachin, cha-chee, like he got like 30 or 40 good ones. I bet you he was inundated with people who had the same opinion as you. Like, you just stood there? You just took pictures? Did you do anything?

There's no way I'd take that picture. I'd have to help little man out. I mean, like I said, the BBC had saved those goddamn penguins. They didn't sit there and watch them starve to death in the ice. I'm not going to take a picture of that falter about to eat homie. Eating after starving is dangerous due to refeating syndrome,

a potentially fatal condition caused by sudden metabolic and electrolyte shifts. Okay. What is a metabolic shift? Is that like, I don't know. Give the kids some pediolite. I wonder what the exact. mechanism of death is. Like, like, are your cells overfilling with stuff and exploding? Like, what's happening to you? To get colic, like a horse? Is that what horses get? Is it colic? Yeah,

that's when their guts get all, like, tangled up or something, right? What do babies get? That makes them all. That makes them cry. Yeah. Hmm. They should have different names. I think it's the same thing, though. It's not lethal in babies, I don't think. No, I think the baby thing is just when they're like annoying. Have they have painful gas or something? Babies are colicky? I don't know. Why is colic dangerous?

Yeah, that's what it is. I don't know. I never listened when my ex-wife was bitching. Yeah, because I think in horses, it's an obstruction, like a blockage of their intestines. I got it. So it's fatal for horses because they can't vomit. And their long, complex, and suspended intestines

are prone to severe impactions. twists or displacements that cut off blood flow. Conversely, human babies colic is usually minor involving temporary gastrointestinal discomfort that resolves without tissue damage or life-threatening obstruction. If babies are good at anything, it's throwing up. Ors just can't puke. They're awesome.

Also getting thrown off bridges. You ever see when those babies get thrown off bridges and stuff and they bounce? Anyone can do that. Yeah, but they make it. Like babies have those rubbery bones, they haven't all, they haven't calcified up yet. So they're like good for dropping. I didn't know why it's just good for dropping. Where do you find the babies are dropping the bridges?

Oh, there's always people throwing babies off bridges. You can throw cats. Cats are great for throwing. If you threw a cat across the room, he'd be chill. Oh, yeah. He'd run away. Let's check it.

I throw my cats around all the time. Yeah, cat throwing's not even a big deal. Dog throwing inappropriate. They're bad at that. Do you ever know, have you ever heard of anybody who actually did the midget throwing, midget tossing it's called? I've heard someone who claimed to do it, but he was a liar. Yeah, that makes sense.

I think that you can have hired them. I think it's a situation that's higher than for like a bachelor party or like a company retreat and you can actually get like some midgets to show up with the whole Velcro suits and everything. It was a thing at bars when I was like in the 90s. Like you could actually do. Like hired a midget to be there on standby? Well, dwarf tossing would be like an event at a Nyclose.

clubber bar that would bring a way to pack the house like oh shit they're doing dwarf tossing here they don't do it would you get to throw them or did they have like a guy there like like big Steve's going to do the tossing tonight we're going to observe I've never done it but you could throw them yeah how much is this you get much they weigh because I don't like I'm picturing like a 50 pound sack of dog food

I mean I can something like that room like 60 pounds because we could have Bridget the midget was the stripper would come through town to the strip clubs Oh, what she? Like the sound of that. Was she hot? Never went and saw.

She was a midget. I think of midgets like modern-day leprechauns. I feel like they've gotten much rarer, and when I see one, I make a wish. I've only seen two in the last 15 years. I got spooked by one on the bus. It stuck up on you. The train at the Atlanta airport.

Oh, yeah. The plane train. Yeah. That little fucker get knocked on his ass when that thing takes off. It takes off. All right. Hey, work out.

No, I don't know if it's possible. I would love to try to throw a midget. I feel like that would be really fun, especially if he's into it. Like, I don't want him to have a sour mood about it. You know,

I don't want him to, like, get up and look, like, if he ever threw him too hard and he, like, hurt him or something, I feel bad. But if he was into it. I'm afraid you to have regret.

right like like your friends call you fat and you laugh along and then when you're home at night you're like you know what I really don't feel good about how that went yeah but he's signed up for this he's wearing a Velcro suit you know like like he knew what he was getting into it's ready to get tossed I like to imagine the midgets got the attitude kind of like the guy at the dunking booth where he's like I bet you can't throw me 10 feet oh he's a little bitch like he's giving you a hard time about how how poorly you can throw it would be a big mistake on his part. Then I just drop his ass on the concrete. I wonder if there's

like a... That's a funny, Landon Head First. World Championship. Big mouth. small man. Then, oh shoot, what's his name? Peter Dinklid show up and take that roll from him. Doesn't want any

midgets to have jobs. He's just getting them all. I wonder if he's cool. I feel like he's really high on himself. He seems like he'd be Well, he seems like he's not literally. But yeah, I watched that toxic Avenger movie that he stars in. I watched it last night, I think, or the night before.

Oh, yeah. It was okay. You know who the toxic Avenger is? It's kind of like a, so it's this old, low-budget, like. 80s movie, right? Yeah, it's like a horror comedy. It's basically a janitor falls into toxic waste and he becomes this putrid monster man who has like a mop soaked in toxic ooze,

and he goes around like violently, like killing criminals. It was hyperviolent. There was like blood and guts the whole time, so that was kind of fun. And I guess I like Peter Dinklage. I loved him in Game of Thrones, but I haven't really seen him anything else I like. He was in that three billboards outside of...

Oh, yeah, with Sandra Bullock. That wasn't Sandra Bullock. That was like Nikki Collette or something like that. I absolutely hate it. Peter Dinklage in what was the movie before Endgame? Like that Avengers won with Thor.

Oh, yeah. That was he played a blacksmith who made Thor's axe or something. Oh, yeah. Was it like a Thor specific movie or was it? Yeah. No.

Did you say Thor specific? Like was it like one of the Thor movies or was it one of the No, it wasn't. It was the Avengers. It was the one right before end game. The penalty. an Avengers movie. Yeah, the one that set up endgame.

And he played at... Infinity War? Infinity War. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He played a blacksmith who made Stormbreaker, which is Thor's Axe. And he was a giant. But for some reason, they cast a midget to be a giant. It looked really weird.

30 feet tall. It was awful. I glazed those movies more than anyone I know. And that whole storyline could have just been cut. Should have been on the ending floor. I didn't mind that part. I don't know if that's from the comics. It probably is some deep cut.

The part that was annoying right at that moment, actually, is when Thor like holds open the gates of that star that's been like shoots that beam of energy and he just takes it. He gets a little sunburnt or something. It's like, you just power scaled him so goddamn high just now. Like, he's just invincible now.

So then when he gets beat up by Thanos, it doesn't really make a lot of sense. I always thought the Hulk was a bit of a bitch in those movies. movies. I like those movies too. I love endgame as the years have gone on. I think more highly of it than I even did when I watched it. Really? When he catch when Captain America picks up the hammer dude, I tear up a little. I'm like I'm like that's America's hammer. You know, like that's, I saw a movie in Hollywood one time. It was like the Chinese theater. If you know what this is just a movie theater. But like before it starts like bands play and there's this hooray for Hollywood and they show some of the. these great, great moments in like the silver screen history, Hollywood's greatest things. And there's, you know, you're all clear kid and Luke Skywalker shoots into the death star,

shit like that. When Captain America gets the hammer, it's right there with the other greatest moments in cinematic history for me. Really? It is for me too. It really is, dude. Like I've seen it so many guys. You know, that does movies. Dog shit, man.

I like them. I like them. Like there's some of them that I really dislike. Like, they made like 27 movies or something. That's my complaint too. Yeah. You're lucky I'm not admin on this hosting site. Out of the 27, I would say there's at least 10 out of the 27 that are actually pretty

damn good. Like, I really like them. And there's probably seven that I just think are dog shit. I don't like the Ant Man stuff very much. I don't like most of the Thor movies. I didn't like Black Panther as much as every. everybody else did. What's the chick? Captain Marvel. Yeah, Captain Marvel.

I didn't like Captain Marvel that boss bitch nonsense and I didn't like any of that. But I liked the Avengers. Like I said, specifically when Captain America picks up a fucking hammer, that's a big deal for me. It's just such a good moment, you know, and they've been kind of building toward it for 27 fucking movies. It's all coming to this culmination right here and now. I don't really watch Marvel stuff anymore. I don't care. My follow-up question was how many Funkopops do you have? None, none.

Absolutely not. No, I don't collect that garbage. No, I'm not that big of a fan of it. I don't have any like Avengers merch or anything like that. We're too lazy to make it happen. But the idea of PKK Funko pops where Taylor's head is so big that it falls to the side of it is the greatest thing ever. I would have them on display somewhere. Pottlehead.

The bubble head. Yeah. The spring just can't keep it out. I don't know. Yeah, would it be hard to just weight it? I should fall away. No, it's a weak brain. Yeah, you just need, you can get them made.

Like I've done, I've researched this little idea before. You can have custom bobbleheads made. I just don't know if you can get them in scale for what we would want to do and what they would cost and everything. But if you just wanted one, you absolutely do that. Well, I did like the, sorry I interrupted you, but I do like the, like the origin stories of each hero. Like, I like their singular movies or whatever.

but when they put them all together it just feels so like fan servicey like I know what you mean this guy and this guy and this guy I like the smaller stories too I really liked the Daredevil TV show

when it first came out on Netflix I liked that it was just some blind dude beating people up in New York that was pretty cool there was some really good fight choreography in that but I don't know over the years I like the Guardians of the Galaxy movies a lot

I get kind of like emotionally tied up and Peter Quill or Peter Quinn or whatever's his name is story so fucking sad you know and I like I like that actor what's his name

fucking Chris Pratt Chris Pratt I like Chris Pratt I don't like the stuff he's done until like the last five years I guess that stupid time travel movie was so so awful but I really liked him as that character

you remember that time travel movie where like the people from the future show up in our time and we're fighting aliens in the future and we're losing Oh I do remember that and so you and like it's just so stupid

it's like well that's not what you do that's not what you do. What are we talking about here? And they've gone through the earth's entire militaries. All of the world's militaries have already died going into the future war. So now they're just taking like cooks and drivers and like maids and stuff. They're literally, and they spell it out for you. They don't want the audience to think at all. So there's a guy wearing a chef hat at basic training. It's like, why does he still got the chef's hat on? It's the big goofy chef's OIRD number. It's like he didn't drive here. with that.

Like, I didn't think that was as terrible as you did. I just thought that I was expecting it to be good. My expectation was this was like an S or an A tier movie. And when it came in at B tier or C tier, I was like, oh, it's still an average show. It's just I thought it was going to be special. The premise is absurd.

They just like hand everybody a machine gun and drop them from the sky and like half of them die immediately. And that's how they do it in time travel, military and kidnapping. And if you have a time travel machine, why not go back and try to kill the thing? It didn't make it. That started at all. Yeah, I was saying when you said the Chris Pratt time travel movie, I was thinking of the one

where he's on the spaceship and he wakes up. Jennifer Orrin. Yeah. Like way too early or whatever. I didn't realize he's doing time travel. There's a YouTuber. I think he didn't be awake for this. It's his nerd writer.

And he reorganized the plot of that movie and made it so much better. if you like, I think it's called Passenger or Passengers, if you like that movie at all, check out the nerd writer like what he would have done. And he turns it into this like suspense or a horror gone. So I haven't, I've never heard of that guy and I haven't even seen the movie, but I know what the movie's about.

Did he suggest that you don't know which one of them woke the other up? Like it sort of seems like they both woke up simultaneously, not because of the other. And the whole time you don't know that one of them woke the other up. and you're is that it was something close to that yeah like he woke her up and I think she didn't know he woke her up right away he thought and he tells her yeah and uh I forget his reorganization of it I just remember how much I loved it I need to rewatch it's fair no I've never seen that one um I don't really like her I don't like her and stuff I used to like her but now like she's pulled the I'm just like

you every girl thing in every interview for like 15 years in a row now And like, I can't buy it anymore. You must be threatening $500 million. Like, you're one of the most richest and famous actors to have walked the earth thus far. And you're just like me. That's exactly my same complaint is that every interview that she's in is she's like, oh, I'm just a ditsy every man. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm just a silly girl.

And it's like, cut the shit. Like, can you believe that I stood next to Oprah? Yes, you fucking. fucking Oscar winner? Of course. Yeah, you've been in the industry for a fucking decade. Like nobody's buying this shit anymore. She acts like she just walked

out of high school on this fucking set. I neither like her nor dislike her. I just don't, I would rather not, she's so famous that she distracts me from the movie I'm watching. Like, I don't really like Tom Cruise movies anymore either. Because it's like, oh, this is Tom Cruise. That's Tom Cruise. Like, I, I, I, I, I, I watched that Mission Impossible movie and I'm like,

well, that's Tom Cruise. That's just Tom Cruise stuff. You know, I can't get past that he is Tom Cruise because he's so goddamn famous in a way that Brad Pitt doesn't do for me. Like Brad Pitt's got a new movie coming out called The Adventures of Cliff Booth. It's about his Once Upon a Time in Hollywood character that beat those hippies to death. It's him,

but more of his story. I'm totally going to watch that. I'm sure there's exceptions to this, but I feel like Brad Pitt has changed his, his roles to fit who Brad Pitt currently is, which is like, what, 55, 60 year old actor who can act really well, used to be gorgeous, but now he's kind of aged. And he can play a new kind of role. Tom Cruise is still pretending he's a 27-year-old athlete, CIA agent, fucking base jumping, motorcycle riding, whatever, whatever. And while he aged well, no one ages that well. Is he 60?

he's like 62 i think right take a more critical role that involves acting of playing an older person and don't ask us to suspend our disbelief that you're going to be on fucking social security in two years he's eligible now is he 62 and a half the dude's fucking eligible for security and he's you know running around the side of buildings or something like stop it i have a very hot take in this exact regard in regards to fucking Daniel Day Lewis. Okay. That motherfucker, I cannot stand any movie Daniel

Day Lewis is in. He does that like what's it called? When he's like, I'm method acting, thank you. Every movie I or every role I see Daniel Day Lewis in, I'm like, this is Daniel Day Lewis acting. This is not I'm not watching Bill the Butcher.

I'm watching Daniel Day Lewis. playing Bill the Butcher. And it pisses me off so much every time I see that fucking asshole in a movie. I'm the opposite. Like I love him. He reminds me of Johnny Depp. Like as a kid,

like I had only seen Johnny Depp in his wackier roles. I had never seen like Johnny Depp with pink skin before in a movie. So I didn't know what he looked like. I had seen him as like Tonto and I had seen him as Edward Cisorhands. I had no idea what Johnny Depp actually looked like.

in the same way like there was a while I didn't know what Daniel Day de Lewis his mannerisms and like face actually looked like because I'd seen Bill the butcher I'd see I'd see Daniel Plainview and there will be blood there will be blood and I really like him and my left foot my left foot was the first thing I saw where he's got like muscular sclerosis he's all fucked up he only has the use of his left foot that's the whole premise of the movie you know like like I don't like some of his movies like he did one where he's like a clothing designer and

he's done a few of them that I just was like this isn't a movie about something I care to watch a movie about. But I like him and there will be blood and I like him in gangs of New York too for sure. I feel like he's so scary is Bill the Butcher he's got that fuck that whole opening

scene with Liam Neeson when he's I wish for good and proper for who holds sway over the five points and it's like holy fucking shit and they start the plug ogles and each fucking gang comes out in secession. That was awesome the first time I saw.

I love that shit. They were experiencing up for me. Daniel Day Lewis is like the toughest guy in all of New York and who does Leonardo DiCaprio beat him at some point or something? I don't know what the fuck. At the end. Yeah. Oh my God.

They might as well cast like dancers and tights or something to play tough guys. This is like. He looks. Zach, show us a picture. A fucking Bill, the butcher. Well, you can show a picture. He looks tough, but he acts like he's on a fucking Broadway stage. Yeah.

I'm the toughest boy in all of New York. Exactly. When I was a child, I had to watch West Side Story, right? And when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day. And I'm like, is this what tough guys look like in the 50s? They're dancing and coordinate. Not the real bull of the bitch or Zach. Daniel Day Lewis has

Bill the Bullets Daniel Day Lewis as Bill the Butcher Well you know There he is with a fucking I mean That's just not what tough Looks like to me

He's There's too many Italians in New York When he has Steak knife One hand And the meat cleaver And the other

It's scary Like the dude's scary In the movie He's terrifying They have those knife fights in the street It's crucial Yeah

Tough guys. That's just not tough. That's what they used to look like. I'm a big old tough guy. Are you missing? No more Polacks. Dude, when he clicks his eyeball with a knife, that's hard as fuck. That's what I was just referencing.

I know what I'm saying. It's great. You know, I like that movie. I think he's scary. I buy it. I buy it. You know, it is pretty performative. Like, he is loud and boisterous and very well spoken for a butcher.

Yeah. It's a great fucking movie. It's a Scorsese movie, so obviously it's good. Who may, the Scorsese make the Irishman. Yes. He did, right? That was dog shit. We don't judge Michael Jordan by his years on the Wizards, though.

Kyle didn't say earlier he loves four-hour movies. Yeah, dude, I was by the end of it, I was just like, what is this shit? The de-aging was kind of interesting at first, but Taylor always points this off out. De Niro has a scene where he kicks the shit out of some guy in the street. Literally, it was like kicking him in the ass. And it's like, De Niro's 70 and walking off, like a 70-year-old, you know what a fucking 25-year-old. you know what a fucking 25 year old looks like when he skips down to the street

and kicks a guy in the ass, he's fucking fluid. He's fast and it looks like it hurt. This looked like an old man pulled his punch on some guy laying in a stunt man. Can I north the topic a bit? Because geriatric fights, it made me think of Rhonda Rousey. Hey, don't talk about my girl, Gina, did you see that workout footage?

I did, I did. I'm not great at analyzing punching form, but I could see she was coming from the shoulder. She was rotating her hips. It's way better than the meme arm punches that she threw 10 years ago. I think that's why she released it. Also, though, she looks slow. Now, I have some five footage of me looking slow in the internet. I don't want to throw too many stones, but fucking Andy Wang is 135 pounds and super fast. Anyway, she looks slow and Gina Carrano is 43. How do we feel about a 39-year-old and a 43-year-old

former champions coming back and doing their thing? I guess I'm going to watch it because it's free on Netflix. As long as it doesn't coincide with like the UFC or something I actually want to see that's, you know, live or whatever. I'll watch it just so we can talk about it here. But I would never pay for it because I think it's going to be lame. I think it's going to be bloodless. I think it's going to be boring.

I think Rhonda's going to hip-toss that bitch and arm bar like she did, those other 15 gals. and I don't think Tina's tubby ass is going to be able to do anything about her. I'm calling her tubby.

She hates that. Yeah. She's tubby and it's a damn shame because she's a very attractive woman and I liked her in the Mandalorian.

Huh? Oh my God. I could not forgive her in the Mandalorian. She played an action hero who was 80 pounds overweight. I don't think she's fat

in the first season. I think she got fat in the second season. I'm not sure enough. to counter that. But I remember. I'm not sure enough to stand by too hard. The costume department and the Mandalorian was the highest paid on the planet.

Those fuckers had to make this fucking snowman look shapely. Hey, Bob. You got to get those space cumber buns. Yeah, yeah. No, but extra large. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did not stand by idly for this Gina Carano. Hey. They had steel cabling in her corset to pull. gorgeous and we message each other on

Instagram. I do. Can we see Jeter Carano and Zach? Please make me look right by finding what a fat tub of large she is. He gets some Mandalorian. Zach, I'm not your boss with finding a hot picture of her. Even her biggest, she's very attractive.

But I got to say, what upset me and it still upsets me is that she's playing like a space bounty hunter or some shit. she's playing like an ultimate badass, like, Super Warrior. And it's like, come on, you're going to have to, like, drop a few pounds. If I'm going to, like, be okay and comfortable with you, get into a tussle with the Mandalorian and you almost win. Like, this is the star of the show and you almost beat him up in unprepared hand-to-hand combat.

And you're a little chunky. This is a woman not. Jack-to-not. No fucking way she can run a mile. No way. No way. No way. No way.

this woman has leaned over hands on knees gasping for air before she hits the four laps around the track. I want her to pop my head between her thighs like a fucking watermelon. Me too. Me too. Yeah, I'm all about it. I bet a very attractive woman, really, really into her myself as well. I don't see it. I get it.

There's a pair of human heads in front of it. People dig that. Oh, look. That's a service she provides, King. Yep. That's me. Holy shit. That's right off your alley.

That's you. I put my knit hat on. That was right before I came, actually. Right before he came, literally. Show us more Gina Carvano. Keep him coming. Like, I won't get tired of this. No, I agree.

Like, I still. Is that her in the Mandalorian? No, this is some modern. She's right now. More current thing. Yeah. Pull up the hot era and Maxim, Max and Max and Max magazine shoot. Yeah, dude.

You know what? King probably has a great idea, but I want to see her in a way in. I've seen her at way-ins where she looks amazing. Like, yeah, yeah. That version of her is as attractive as any planet, any person on the planet. She's

just fucking smoke show. Yeah, but the fuck, she's twice the woman she used to be. I wonder what she's going to look like for this fight because I saw in the promo footage she looked definitely not as big as in those previous pictures. I didn't think.

Oh, she's come way down on Instagram. I've seen it. Yeah. Current? No. This isn't current in her. See, is that fine? Go to her Instagram and find me like the most current.

Yeah. Yeah, go to her Instagram and find like the most current. Because if she's, she's preparing for this fight, like every day, she might be looking significantly better. I want to see accurate. I like those pictures. heard she has been so much bigger are they oh is that true uh based on the picture i just uh yeah she's cut uh if he pulls up her her latest shit she looks she looks great they're so big her tits is bigger than ronda's head damn her tits are in front of her belly by a little

bit. Yeah, but they look heavy. They do. But that gut is like she needs to get the Mandalorian corset back on for this show. Now Rhonda, I think will get in shape. She looks like she's pretty much there. I don't think Rhonda was ever out of shape. Like I would watch this videos of her on her farm where their husband like feeding the goats and she's always been to still fit Rhonda. She can get thicker than fight day, but Rhonda is a limping though. She's, she's got some. She's got pro-athlete genetics.

She's a legitimate professional athlete. Gina was middling. Y'all are talking all this mad shit about the weight fluctuations. Let's not forget Patty Pimbley, okay? He's never missed weight once. I understand that, but I'm saying he can blow up when he's not fighting. Dude, Kyle, have you seen him lately? Yes.

He's doing it again. He's upset over that loss. He feels like it should have been a split decision. And he's A draw. I'm sorry, yes, a draw. Yeah. Feels like it should have been a draw.

And he's pretty upset about it. And he's eating his feelings. Pardon? Did he win two rounds on the judge's tour card, and CGO? I don't know about the cards. I definitely thought he won two. And then he's talking about how there was a foul

and a point should have been taken. And that would have, you know, made it a draw. Yeah, so he says he won two rounds, which I guess is not a wild opinion. I didn't watch the whole fight. He won two. And, okay. So he won two rounds out of five.

So he lost. But if you put the eye poke in there, the other guy gets a point deducted. It should have been a draw. It was a weird eye poke, though. So you probably remember it, but Dachie throws a left sort of jab and it misses left of Patty's head. So the thumb and the thumb nail go into the top of his eyelid and immediately split it open. So it's usually that the pokes are like this. They're sort of like, like, like, they're constantly coming at you like this.

And he's like, yeah, you're coming close. Yeah, come on in close. I'm going to keep kicking you into you coming close. And I'm blind you, blind you. But this was a punch that turned into this like thumbnail to the eyelid that really split him up and bad. And he noticeably grimaced in pain and dropped. Like it dropped him to the ground. And they didn't call it.

It wasn't, it wasn't called. I thought the first one was like very clearly intentional. He had his fingers out and he jabbed his eyes. and then the second one was like a little bit sloppy. I only remember the one that I'm describing that dropped Patty and didn't get called. Yeah, because he like held his hands up. Like, why the fuck wasn't that called? It didn't look like an eye vote until I saw it in slow-mo.

If people aren't used to the 10-9 scoring system, one judge gave him two rounds. The other two judges gave him one round. So he didn't. Yeah. Anyway, I guess it's not wild to think he won two rounds, but it wasn't how it was scored. Yeah. All in all, Gachie whooped his ass, you know, like, that's what happened.

Gachie's a better fighter. But I felt like Patty, like, did so well that he did way better than his haters thought he was going to do. He held his own. He threw some, through some punches. It wasn't like this last Strickland fight where just fucking dominated, fluffy, and fucking, dude was on an eight-fight win streak. and like Uber Strickland has stepped up to the play and best performances ever had.

I went to Houston and saw that in person. That was fucking bananas, yes, sir. Awesome. I just want to slip in. I know it's called the 10 point must system. I don't know why I fucked it up. I'm not as stupid. Well, I'm not stupid about that.

Okay, I didn't get you guys of it. Oh, that was awesome. So you were there alive. Yes, sir. Sorry, Goblin. You were going to say something. Oh, I was just going to say it was a good fight. That's all.

Yeah. It was dude It was fucking bananas So that was that was the first UFC fight I'd ever been to And uh I don't I don't think the person who How was your experience? What's like it was you like

Oh it was how you're insane Yeah really the uh we got there kind of Kind of late like into the uh quote unquote title card you know all the main card shit Because it wasn't it was just fight night it wasn't you know a title fight. But yeah, like three fights back. And yeah, the fight before Strickland was also crazy. But we were down on the floor. And the heat in the stadium when Strickland came on versus who did he fight. It starts with the H. Hernandez. Hernandez. Yes. Thank you, sir.

It was very funny because I was down on the floor like we had very expensive seats. And it was like Hernandez comes on and they're like playing the fucking and we're just like And then Strickland comes out and we're like USA USA and it's weirdly all the USA chance were We're closer to the stage But he came out dude he was he was dead serious It wasn't he wasn't doing the Strickland fucking around like playing with the crowd

anything just came out yeah he was really yeah he was fit yeah oh yeah and he was ready to kill like uh hernandez was like taking shit from the crowd like you know turn around cheering all the shit and and strickland it was like dude he was black eyes like a doll's eyes he was just he was in there and he had a fucking mission and yeah pieced him up and then that oh it's Sorry, that final, the knee that like sent him was, it was insane. 10 feet away from me. Kyle and I both thought that going to UFC fights wasn't a great viewing experience. It's not easy to see through the cage.

We also, I've had really good seats to the way I like look up at the gate and it's not good. Yeah, we both. I've been to two fights. Kyle's been to one, I think. And I liked that I could see the loser, right? Because on TV, the loser just kind of disappears. You forget that half the people that night have had like one of the worst days of their life and their career. Like they're a little bit embarrassed because even pro fighters find losing fights to be like, I don't know.

It's a little like a regular person losing a fight, right? Like you get up there. You're basically in your underwear. Everyone saw you get your ass kicked. It feels bad. And you've had a career set back. And you only made. you only made half the money that you were sort of hoping for.

There's a lot of bad stuff that happened that night. And in terms of people watching, you don't get to see it on TV. You don't watch the loser walk back to the locker room. But in real life, you get to see that. And you're like, ah, rough day for that, dude. You know that. So I enjoy that aspect. But almost everything else about it is better on TV, according to me.

We ended up, you know, looking at the Jumbotron. And it's like, well, that's just TV with extra steps, you know, like, Whereas now, and I like the new Paramount coverage, I'm a fan of what they're doing. I did not like them cutting Strickland's microphone off, but there weren't nearly as many ads this week as there had been on, maybe because it's a fight night, but they weren't obtrusive and they weren't annoying. But I didn't like him cutting his mic off, but otherwise, it's been tremendous. And it's so convenient to not have to no more pay-per-view. It's just right there on Paramount.

I'm going to watch every single card now. I used to, I don't know, sort of pick and choose, even though I was pirating. But now it's on my, I don't have to come in here to watch it with my boys. I can kind of, it's kind of broken up our, our Discord UFC watching. I'm going to have to, you know, because I watch Paramount on my big screen in the living room and I'm not as tempted to come in here and get on, get online with them and watch. But yeah, that was a great card from online. I like watching with the boys, though.

I can see doing that still. Yeah. I don't know what the next card is, but there's some bangers. coming and then that White House card. A White House one's going to be insane. They're going to stage in the Oval Office. Like like when you first cut to the fighters, they're going to

cut to the fighter and they're going to be in the Oval Office like doing their warmup and then they're going to run from there through the West Wing out through the doors down a ramp and into the fucking cage. And it's like that you've got put Kamsat Shamaio

in the Oval Office. I want to see that. I want to see Kamsat Shama of in the Oval Office going, I don't walk far. Like, when he comes out, he's screaming of it. If I was, if I was president, I'd have favored fighters and less than favored fighters, right? Like, imagine Comzot against, I don't know, some American hero, whatever, like a young Chal Sunnet. Chales in the Oval Office warming up, getting ready.

Comzat's in the rubble of what used to be the East Wing. Right? It's just like outdoors, poor lighting, on safe footing. Watch out of the rebark. That's what I would do. I don't think they'll put him on that card. If Dana White is programming a card for the White House, you want to do what you do when you have a fight in Australia.

You have people from Australia and people from Oceania or whatever who are favored to win fighting some South American underdogs, some European underdogs, some American underdogs. Let the hometown crowd get what they want. Not a total mismatch, but the home crowd wins two-thirds. I do not want to see Comzop versus Sean Strickland at the White House. Okay, let's do that in Vegas where if it goes bad, I can change the channel and not feel like America's ego is bruised tonight.

Connor's been talking like he's going to fight. He has. It seems like he might. He's righted out to the fucking. There's no way. There's no way. Usada is gone. I don't remember if he's in the testing pool right now. He had some issues a while back.

I've just counted him out for being a real fighter for at least the last two or three years. I don't think he's serious. But if he goes to the White House, I'd love to watch him fight. I don't care who he fights. I like the Conner's show. I like his walkouts. I like his fucking music. I like him, except for, you know, the rape.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Pluralize it. But yeah. Or when he gets his, when he gets his ankle broken and loses me $600. Fucking.

You bet you're against Dustin? That's a, that's a choice. He was at his prime. He was at his prime. He was the underdog. I think it was 600. He wasn't in his prime.

Dustin kicked the last the previous time, too. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I was, I was 15 years younger. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I definitely thought Connor was going to lose that fight going into it. But I always rooted for him.

I always wanted him to win because I like super winners. When he used to call his fucking shots and when he had two belts and it's like, I really liked seeing him just win so hard all the time. Everything he'd do, it just seemed like he was winning and predicting it as he went. I'm a mystic Mac, like all that shit. I was buying into it. I was like, dude, you. You can say he's not Mystic Mac, but he called his shot and he fucking did it.

Yeah, he was a cocky bastard. He was a cocky bastard who called fucking every shot that he took. He's like, oh, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to break his fucking leg. And then he'd go and do it. And it's like, eh, he did what he said. That was a counter-hater. It was incredible. I was a con of ador, maybe until like pre-aldo.

And then he won me over and then he lost me. but I thought he was like when they found him guilty of the rape like that was kind of it for me that he was beating up civilians like that was the bar fight was shitty yeah yeah like he's beating up

senior citizens he didn't give a fair fight either he wasn't like fucking square up old man he like kind of hit him in the back of his ear or something I thought the rape was post belt though yeah yeah

Yeah, well, he hasn't fought in like 10 fucking years. Yeah, he isn't at this point. And he hasn't won. He has like one win against Seroni. And prior to that, I think like Obama was president when he won. I got to say that that Seroni fight, it was like, he just destroyed Soroni. He's back. And you had this.

He's an old man. I know. But Connor had been out though. And he came back and just ripped it like those shoulder strikes. Remember who's throwing those shoulder strikes in the clinch? broke his nose and it was like I've never seen that before Connor McGregor might be white Bruce Lee I've never seen that before I didn't know it could be done I've seen him thrown but they're always like ineffective he broke his fucking nose and like then he kicked him in the head

and finished him on the ground with punches that was incredible and I didn't seroni just when a when a one er seroni had just won a fight like six months prior to that didn't he I don't remember I feel like he had just gotten like very super active it was like right when one of his kids was born because he used to take his little his little baby in the ring remember it differently no no Connor was the third of a three fight losing streak and he was in the middle of a four five six seven fights in a row without losing leading into retirement so no year was that 26 he lost against mcgregor in 2020 mcgregor before that was 20s. win before that was 2016 and I'm right.

His last good win because I'm not counting the ghost of Soroni, Obama was president. Okay. That's rough. Yeah, I just, I don't, I'd rather not have him on the White House card. Like, I don't, I need to see the whole card laid out and be like, hey, you could have Connor here or you could have X, Y, or Z here. And maybe I changed my mind. Like, but I don't, I don't need a space reserved for him. What's your ideal top three Kyle?

Oh, I'd love I always like seeing Part of the thing that's keeping me from saying certain things is I don't want Arabs or Chechens to win at the White House. I agree So no other hot fighters So that clogs up a lot of the divisions you know for as far as championships are concerned I guess I know Holloway is about to fight olivera for the BMF so you can't have either of those, I don't think. Neither one of them

are going to be up and running by the time July comes on. But if possible, I always like Holloway against anybody. Perea is stepping up to heavyweight and like if they rip the belt from Tom Aspinall and they have Pereira fight gone.

Like have Pereira go in there and get some revenge for John Jones or not for revenge for Tom Aspinall and he fucking decimates Cyril gone. That's probably on my list. I always like having Bryce Mitchell on my TV It's a guilty pleasure of mine

If we get Bryce on the card Don't care who he fights He's probably ranked 13th or 14th or something at this point But I love to have Bryce on my card I like Patty Pimbleit too I would like to see Justin Gachee fight Islam Makachev for that belt Oh careful

But not on this card I don't know the White House card that that really fucks up like what I actually want to see because I really would like the home team to get some wins and maybe I would like for no one to scream all I walk bar in the White House with an angry look on their face

I think if Volk if Volk wins one that counts for America I agree I agree if I were president I would offer him like a citizenship I'd be like would you be half American for us both our countries start it should be if he wins right like wrap the strap around his waist

and hand him one of those gold cards that Trump is But you have to bring us a kangaroo I like Volk I like Volk cards every single time I love Volk That whole um His YouTube shit is funny

That thing where he's like Havening a driveway or something With manual laborers like you know I used to be a UC champion And I'm like sure you did Sure you did And he's like no I had his long Markerchief Champion of the world

Had him a second away from finishing him And his head popped Sure you did old man. Fucking get that black top down and they're just like giving him a hard time. That was hilarious. Anytime Volk fights, I'm down to watch him. He's getting old though. And I don't care about women's MMA, not really.

So I don't really want any women on that card. So I don't know what I would want for this card. Oh, I want women on their card. I like them. I like, I think they. Who? I just like it. It doesn't even matter.

I don't know. I'm not even that big into highly skilled fight. I like all fights. All fights. All fights. I'm. I like violent fights. Should be fun. You like what fights?

I like violent fights. There has to be, I don't want to see you dance around and poke at each other lightly for 15 fucking minutes. I want to see. When women first hit the UFC, they were the most violent stand and bang. They were end of Max Holloway.

It's like they were contractually obligated to just let it rip, let it fly. Now they get a little more cautious. They all fight like champion GSP. P sometimes. It can be a little slow. Yeah, I don't know. I always want John Jones on my TV. Like if you could dig John Jones up, get him to fight.

If you can get Francis and Gano to come in there and fight. John Jones has kind of become a point fighter merchant. I know he did well against Gagne, who I thought sucked until he looked good against Aspinall. But I mean, he has been pointing fighters to boring victories

for a long time. He's been living all some he's been fighting with the best in the world. But here's what you do. Like, have him fight some, like, middling Russian. Like, don't give him the best guy in the world. Don't give him the second best guy in the world. Don't even give him the 10th best guy in the world.

Let John Jones go out there and massacre a Russian in front of the American people. Right? That was the thought I just had. You guys were talking about women versus women fights right before I dipped out to take a piss. And I was like, what if we put the Gina Carrano versus Rhonda Rousey fight on there? And I go, no, no, no, no, no. We don't want American versus American. We need the hardest line Americans who are going to kick the shit out of foreigners.

That's what I want. That's what the card should be on the White House card. I agree. That's 100% what the card should be. Like I said, when we do a, the Mexican card, I think, is coming up this week. It's like, I bet Brandon Moreno is favored to win his fight. I bet all the Mexicans are favored to win their fights, mostly. Most of the Mexicans will win their fights because

they're favored to. Southern Mexican audience is happy when you visit Mexico with a card. That makes perfect sense. I'm fine with that. It's not where fixing cards to make people happy. We're just setting up favorable outcomes for people potentially. I like that. So I would like see John Jones beat up the like 23rd best fighter at heavyweight. Let him go in there and start some fatso from Poland. And I fucking clap and I might even be his fan again. He never raped anybody. good news i think mr white knows how to set up a little domestic abuse right little domestic abuse but she lied for him which tells me they're you know right or die chick yeah rider die

gotta be if you john jones chick right you gotta be if you don't there's more beatings yeah yeah i i would like to see something like that i don't want to see the americans take too many L's and what I really, I don't mind if you lose to some fucking gibrony from Australia or something or South America even. I really don't want any Muslims screaming Ahu Akbar in the

noble office. I can't stress that enough. When Islam Muslim comes out, it feels like I'm watching an ISIS like video. It feels like it feels like the news would be like a bombing in Tel Aviv today. Here's the reaction in Jordan. And then they cut to people, there's like, yeah!

Yeah! And they're so, there was a bombing in Tel Aviv. And as time goes on, I kind of get it. They're like so angry, so angry happy about it. So, so hangary. They're angry about it. And the options are, I don't want the energy in the White House right next to the Declaration of Independence because our president had, I think he either had the

Constitution or the original Declaration of Independence on his fucking wall. Don't let Islam near that. Don't let that guy near that. Jesus Christ will spit on it or something. Islam. Islam. He's not. Shemayev.

Comzat, Chimada. Kamsat. He's got a different vibe about him than the Tad B boys. The options are no beard or beard with mustache. Oh, it's not even a hair lip. It's apparently it was a childhood accident. He's just ugly. It looks like a perfect palate, but it's not.

Yeah. Yeah. I hate that guy. I hate that guy so much. I can't, Every time he's on my TV, I'm just like, is there no one? Is there no one who can beat this guy in the world? Is it because he beat DDP like a child, like a dad who didn't want to hurt his kid, but just sort of mold?

That fight was sad. He's beaten everyone like that. He's whooped. No. Am I wrong? I thought, well, but I thought he was kind of a finisher. Maybe I'm crazy. Oh my God.

Remember, was it Michael Johnson that they fed to him? Or they was supposed to be Nate Diaz at one time. and it ended up being like maybe Michael Johnson or somebody like that he would have he would have Nate Diaz still wouldn't be right if they had fed him to Tchamia he takes everybody down in

almost instantly and he stays on top of them doing work the whole fucking fight and I just hate him I just hate him I hate his fighting style I hate his attitude I hate a lot of things about him It's horrible to watch horrible to watch and no one can hate him

He has eight UFC fights six were finishes So he's not normally boring like he was with DDP. No. He's normally pretty boring, I feel. DDP did very well to take his little damage as he did. He was, like you said, it became lay and prey because of DDP's size and strength and tenacity,

I would say. But at the end of the fight, Comzot didn't have a mark on him. He had been on top. No, I mean Kamsat. DDP was sculptured. He wasn't beaten and bruised the way that after the Striplin fight, I'll give you that.

But he was scuffed up and fucking reddened and stuff. Comes up like he'd just been out in a workout or something. I hate that guy. He fought like a white Muslim. Yep, really well. Really well. That's how they fight.

They can't be beaten. And it's upsetting. It's upsetting. I like watching him getting punched in the face, though. When it happens. It's rare. Very rare. Like, I don't know.

I mean, Khabib wasn't that great with his hand. He'd throw those big crazy looping punches and look really awkward at times. His hands would be even worse if people are scared of the takedown. His takedown threat was so scary. People are keeping their own hands by their waist. Yeah. Yeah, we don't get any of that on the White House card.

But I'm pumped for it. I think it's going to be the biggest UFC event of all time. And there's going to be millions of eyes on it, especially compared with the Paramount thing that you can just go on and watch this thing online. It's going to be a big deal. I just hope it looks good. I hope the the octagon, the seating, the whole like fanfare of the thing looks.

What are we doing about rain? Are they building a roof? I don't know. I think it's all outdoors. I saw it. I've only seen like concept art and it looks sick as fuck. I hope it's a party in the fucking century. Yeah, well, the concept art for the wing that he's building onto the White House also looks like shit.

Everybody hates it. That thing won't be done. You don't think he'll be done in the Trump presidency? Is it where you're headed? Nope. He will leave a pile of rubble out there. And a lot of happy contractors that I'm sure are getting paid way too much. This is a construction genius on time.

No, I had a schedule and under budget, I'm sure. No, no. I seriously doubt that. Knowing him and how corrupt he's been every step of the way, we should be looking at who's getting paid to build that wing. Like, they should be under a microscope. Who's being? Oh, it's his fucking buddies, I'm sure.

He just took $10 billion from the taxpayers the other day and put it in his fucking border freedom or something. He just took it. He took it from the military budget and just put it in the border of freedom. And like... 10 billion. 10 billion's a lot.

It doesn't sound like that much because it's 10. Like 10 billion doesn't sound like a lot. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's like a lot. Hear me out. Hear me out. I know this is crazy.

I'm going to expose some. some of my stupidity. For me, when he took the $500 million from Venezuela, right? Like, so he took the Venezuelan oil, he sold it, and then he put it in some offshore account, so he could continue to have access to that $500 million of stolen Venezuelan oil money. And I was like, $500 million, Jesus Christ. And then then he took $10 billion, and I'm like,

eh, that's not as much as $500, right? Right? You did not, you did not bolster your position with this explanation. But the vibe. I had that explanation out. You could lose track of the fact that 10 billion is 20 times more than he got from Venezuela. He took $10 billion and put it in this thing. He just made up.

He made up a club last month. And then he took $10 billion out of our budget and invested it in his club that he made. Thank God it wasn't $500 million. That'd be a lot. My God. Thanks a million. shameless. I don't know.

It's so crazy. And it's not even a story. Like it's like, oh, did he still $10 billion from the taxpayers? He did take it. Yeah. No one cares.

No one seemingly cares. And it's not that we don't care. It's like, what do we do? We already did that. Fucking pedophile shit, man. It's the same thing with the pedophiles.

It's already just so unbelievable. The amount of things he's gotten away with in such a short time. It's like, dude, crime's legal. you know for certain crime is legal now

for the epitlyle this is like in the comics when Lex Luthor became fucking president in the Superman universe and Superman is like who's the president

of the United States what do you want me to do it's literally he's literally a super villain he does shit that if it happened in a movie the movie would be about that thing

and he does it every week like you can make 15 fucking spy thrillers about the Trump presidency or like they're like heist films except for like he owns the security guards he owns the bank he owns the Justice Department it's it's wild what he does it's so shameless and then his greatest talent has to be no it didn't that didn't happen here's what happened

I was actually exonerated by the Epstein files he keeps saying that and look I've read enough excerpts to know that of course he's implicated in them the opposite of his honor but he says it and I'm like was he like he almost hypnotizes me with his blatant life are you gaslighting? He says it's such authority yeah he gasped like so well that I'm just like man maybe I've misread or maybe I've been misled because he is so he's like yeah that

turned out to be a big nothing didn't it I was actually exonerated a lot of people a lot of people weren't exonerated though the Clintons let me tell you about them and I'm like oh man maybe he's wait wait no no no no no you were I have to break myself out of this, like, stupor that he's lulled me into because it's like I've never been lied to so bold-facedly. It's insane.

He's so good at it. By the president, too. We're so lucky that he's so old because if he were 60, he'd be like, we're doing a third term. I got it. He's still going to go for it, I think. I think he's going to try to figure out how.

I hope not. It sounds like not. Like feasible. Like I, it would be ridiculous and unbelievable if it was anybody else. But the idea that Trump would just violate the law and go for a third term. I mean, that's totally on brand. Yeah. So that third assassin, uh, that went after him last week, got killed.

I don't know if he got killed actually. No, he got, he got convicted. I think he'd, or charged. It was that armed guy. You got a, you got a shotgun and a can of gas. Like, like the people that go after this guy are the, just. knuckleheads every single time. Like that again

would be a good like Cohen Brothers movie about like terrible. They're always about terrible criminals like just the Trump assassins because each one has been goofier and more like foolish than the one before. They're all just such a bunch of knuckleheads. He's stumbling into Marlago

with a 12 gauge pump and a can of gasoline. Trump's not even there. A piece of information which can be easily attained easily easily attained by Like checking the news. Google. Who's Trump at right now? Donald Trump is at the White House right now.

He's attending the blah, blah, blah. Instead, he's stumbling onto the golf course with his fucking Mossburg. He's painting a bridge overpass on the wall. I hope Trump thinks he drives through this. Not about Trump specifically, but it seems like it'd be possible to execute a president, right? Like lines of sight are long. Do they really live an entire four years without ever being like exposed to a predictable line of sight? I think that when they are going to be outside and not wrapped around wrapped up in bulletproof stuff, which is rare.

The secret service have cleared all those roofs and are probably on all those roofs with their own sniper teams. Like that thing that happened with that, where was it, Pennsylvania where the kid shot at him. and killed those people in the stands. That's why that was so shocking, because if you've just watched a movie about the Secret Service, you know, that was crazy that no one, like,

no one's on that little roof over there? What about that? There was a water tower about 400 yards away, which is not a hard shot either. Nobody was up there. Anybody could have been in that water tower. It was crazy that you didn't have. It's 400 yards and easy shot.

No. I've never shot. It was close than that. It was like, I think it was a 120. No, he was saying the water tower. Yeah, the water tower. Oh. Yeah, but you're right.

It was like right around 100, 120 or something like that, what he did. But I think he had a red dot, right? I don't even think he had a red dot. Yeah, he had a 1X red dot, and it was way too far forward. It was like well past the receiver. Brandon recreated the video, and I was in it with him. But it's still like a very easy shot to take. argument that people were making at the time was that it was staged.

Like Trump staged in attempted assassination, like him turning his head at the right time, which is bananas. Because the, the M-O-A, yeah, the red dot at that distance, like, on my head right now, through that camera is like there. Like, you cannot clip the top of somebody's ear. No, of course not. No, no. To clip somebody's ear at 100 yards.

you're going to need a bipod and a magnified optic, like an accurate rifle that's shooting one MOA or less. Like, like, and then still, it's like, whew, there's a lot on the line here. That's a lot of trust there. You better not be excited or scared because if your hands trembling or if your breath is fluttering or if your heart's pounding,

then it's almost impossible to take that shot. Like the crosshair is jiggling with each heartbeat. You can see it. That's definitely wasn't a setup. And if it was a setup, then that kid didn't fire the shot. That would be the thing, that he was some sort of patsy up there who never got to shoot his gun or something. And then somebody else fired the shots that killed that man in the crowd or whatever. But I don't think that's a setup anyway.

I just think that each of his assassins has been a goofball. And their weapon has every time been like this, that second guy had like an SKS with maybe a removable like 30 round AK mag adapter on it. And I think he might have duct taped his scope on. There was something about his scope mount that was like ridiculous. They said they saw his rifle sticking out of the bushes at the golf course. And I think they should. Like it's like some Wiley Coyote.

Like a Looney Tunes type of way to go for. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. But yeah, that thing that happened in Pennsylvania was insane, though. Like, imagine if it had hit him. And that video of his head exploding. on TV. Oh my gosh. All over the internet forever now. That would be the, that would be a meme. Well, the camera, think about it. The course of human history. It really would. I think Trump would be some sort of like almost a heroic figure martyr. Yeah. He had died instead of the going on to become

the criminal pet O he has. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm glad that that didn't happen. I really am. I'm glad that part of American history isn't that a conservative candidate had his was shot on TV. That might be a worse world where leveraging that things go really, really poorly for everyone. And that's just a stain. You know, that JFK thing still is in people's memories, you know, the, the ick of that whole thing and how awful that was, her crawling through her husband's brains on the the angle of his wife being there and his wife being so beloved.

I think JFK was really beloved too. I don't know. I'm too young. I'm too young, which is shocking. But I think he was popular at the time. But he's obviously like martyred, levid,

legendary in hindsight. He didn't mess anything up. But his wife was super popular and loved and she didn't deserve that. Yeah. That's a, I like anything about that conspiracy because that's one that just seems real to me. I don't know what y'all think about it,

but like, you ever watch the JFK movie with Kevin Costner? I'm not seeing that, but I've read deeply into it, and I have opinions. I'd like to hear what you think. There's definitely a shooter, because his head's,

a second shooter, I think, where probably grassy knoll or maybe like in the stream, the storm drain under the street, street because his head's going back into the left you know and his brains are on the trunk of the car and to the left yeah like like how his brains end up on the trunk of the car if if oswald is shooting him from a from a downward angle over his right shoulder which is the warren report is that what

it was called whatever yes whatever the report claimed um you know see and then connelly is hit by that same bullet like in the elbow or something and then again in the thigh it's the magic bullet theory is what they call. It doesn't add up. So the amount of shots isn't agreed upon wholly by anyone that were fired, but it seems like there were three or four shots at least. That's a lot to get out of that Carcano accurately enough to even hit a car at that range and elevation with that. I think there might have been a tree there. I don't think the tree was there, but now there's a tree in the way.

I think there was a second shooter. There had to be. I don't know who it was. Maybe the CIA, they seem to have it in for him. What do you think, King? I would say aside from all of the shooting stuff, I've looked into that a little bit. I think the intentions of the shooting is really what I've looked into or like why they would want JFK dead. And I am fully convinced that it was LBJ. Yep. Wanted him dead.

So he had Bush Sr. who was the director of the CIA at the time orchestrate the assassination of JFK so that he could take over the presidency and his wife Lady Bird Johnson

made millions of dollars off of the Bell helicopter company. Yep. Yeah, that's on my wall. And why do we need all those Bell helicopters? Because Vietnam. Vietnam. Yeah.

Bell helicopter company, Lady Bird Johnson, Vietnam. What is it tied to? The JFK assassination. It's as if I orchestrated this wall intentionally. We should have had you on for our conspiracy theory. Oh, instead of fucking tinfoil retard who invited himself? Yeah. I was the only one that guy did a good job.

I'll stay up for him. I was alone. They were manipulating cotton sales. 85 years ago. They made $15,000. Is that why you cut it, Woody? Is that way you cut his entire segment? I didn't cut it.

Who cut it? We cut. Oh, yeah, I was, I learned, like, I wasn't involved in that decision at all. Like, wait, maybe I was. Maybe we all talked it out. But it was like, everyone was so unhappy with that section that I was like, yeah, maybe we should. The question was posed like, hey, people don't like this. Should we just cut it out?

And I was like, dude, if I could. cut that out of my life, I would. Like, if I could erase those moments. I was sitting here thinking like, come on. I started with like, what is this? Like agricultural corn allocations or something? I don't know. And I'm like, this is whatever.

And then it ties to this. And then it ties to this. And my interest in the story just kept going up and up and up and up and up. And then like eventually they hit LBJ and like it's a big thing. And I was, the way it kept building pulled me in and made me like it and I am one in a million and actually liking that story. I do have a story though that I'm really interested in.

Aren't you remodeling Brendan Herrera's bathroom? How's that going? Unfinished. I've not touched it. It's been it's been. I think we're hitting at one year anniversary. You are racing

Woody's Lab to the finish line. Jesus Christ. Is it still at a state of disrepair? Yeah. Yeah, let me go, hold on. Let me go take pictures real quick. If you'll maintain conversation, I'm no, boy.

Let me take pictures real quick. I'll be right back. No. If people didn't see the other episode he was on, he was doing some I think it's a bathroom remodel. Am I right on that? Yeah. For Brandon

and he did the demo and then his girlfriend called him or something and he moved across the country and stopped working on it. And he's like, I'll get back to it. I'll get back to it. We're coming up on the one year anniversary of a demo.

I'd be so mad. I'd be so mad. I'd hire someone else to take it from there. Like I think that's unless he prepaid or something and doesn't want it like they almost be an actual cruelty to be like hey I'm going to need a

refund on where we were right so they just give them more and more time I don't know what the scenario is but it's too long some contractors run behind schedule it happens I mean a year with nothing done

anytime you hire somebody to do anything it's it's so like I don't want to be too bossy and I don't want to be disrespectful. Like, I want to be like almost your friend, but you should know that's your job, right? Like, I'm going to help a little, but that's your job, you know?

Pick that up. Not like that. Not like that. Like, I hate paying people to do things for me. I really do. I never know how to strike the right balance in that relationship. I usually have an argument. Yeah, I DM them to Zach on Twitter.

I don't know if he's... Oh, good. So we'll let Zach pull that. While we wait, I think I'm being taken, oh, here. Well, you know what? That's, I thought it'd be worse. That is the state of reconstruction.

Where's the shower in there? Wait a minute. Wait, is there a shower in there? No, no, it's a half bath. No, you've been doing a year and a half bath? I imagine you were tiling a whole shower in it and like a swinging door. I imagine the same. Yeah. I was in.

I was in, I was in Indiana for eight fucking months. What were you doing the other four months? Not, not much, it seems. much. You're real drywall man, I see. You couldn't even get the fucking plastic around the light switches. That's a hazard. Yeah, it's fine. Is that toilet paper even

installed in the right direction? My God, man. Oh, I didn't put that toilet paper in there. I didn't believe it. I was the other contractor. Oh, what do you be taken for a ride by our plane? Did he pay you up front? He didn't pay you a front, he didn't pay you a front. No, no, no, no. This is all for you.

Oh, okay. Well, who cares? You know, if he wants to it's all for free? well you know is there a set up in here yet not yet I didn't

I intentionally didn't take a picture of the other direction did you put the toilet in there no that was there what would you say it is that you've done here I just smashed some walls well

what were you saying about dude wipes Oh, he's circling the The dude wipes down there Oh, I still don't see them somehow Oh, I see him now Okay, oh look at that Okay, yeah, yeah, those are the ones I know Oh, and then wait, Zach, if you could circle the

Happy New Year Yeah, right there on top of the toilet That was from when I went out to a New Year's party And did not finish his bathroom Well, it's filthy Zach, zoom out, nobody wants to see how dirty the bathroom is. Well, you got to keep us

abreast of your progress. I want to be apprised when we finally do anything. 2037, I think, is the estimated. On the moon by 2037. So, Kyle, how would you handle this?

If I'm Brandon? We're an oven. No, no, no. This is my own thing. Beat him to death with a hammer. And I think the oven's expensive. he looked up something comparable. It was like 12 grand. So we're getting it repaired rather than just

replacing it. We're like a thousand bucks into the repairs on this thing. And at least for one part of it, he's like, okay, okay, here's your thing. We got to fix this part. So he replaces it and we pay him. And it still doesn't work. So he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's this other part. when I repair that, then the oven will actually work. And I'm like, you're telling me the first thing wasn't just a misdiagnosis? Am I supposed to pay for the first? And I didn't do any of this talking. Jackie's talking to the guy.

But you probably had this before. Like, yeah, my car makes a sound. We'll replace the starter. It's still making the sound. It's the alternator. Well, the starter part. I didn't need a new starter. Why did we do that?

I'm not sure if you get charged for that starter. Right? I don't know if we should be getting charged for the first repair. I don't know much about oven repair. I can't imagine what he's doing in there. It's a gas oven or an electric? Gas, propane, but gas. That seems like it would simplify things a great deal.

I don't know. How, like, I just don't know how. How do we get $1,000 deep into a machine? And we're not done yet, right? I think I might have prepaid already for the other thing that this is what happens when you let Jackie deal with me I pay what shit's done that's like a principal with contractors really yeah anyway I just feel like I'm being taken for a ride and it's not so much that what I'm overpaying by 400 like the family will get by I don't like being robbed yeah same it's don't like being taken advantage of even if it's something small. Like, like, they left my ginger out of my shopping the other day. That's

$4 worth of ginger. I raised hell. I was on the phone. I want that $4 back. You know, I didn't get my ginger. You know what the worst part is? She's got the ginger in the backseat. Wait, what? The same thing. The ginger was in there. You were wrong. I've been on the phone like, like, my stir fry was ruined. You harassed a fool now because there was no ginger and the star fry. She thinks that some sort of a podunk idiot doesn't know what to make curry. Raisin hell, get this $4 with a ginger back. They finally gave it to me and a $5.

We're sorry, like bonus. And then I like go to unload the potatoes. And there's the ginger and the taters. I gave that lady one star. I took her tip away. Like she probably got into a little bit of trouble. Yeah. I felt bad.

I didn't tell anybody though. What are you going to do? Go back and look at you. I owe you $9. No. Can you make it five stars? Not now. I already gave her the one.

and like wrote some mean stuff too. She's been drawn. I've gotten into arguments with those people like the dashers and Instacart drivers before. Like this one guy was taking so long and he kept lot. I could see him on the app going. He had shopped my groceries. And now he's like doing some other side hustle bouncing around town.

So I'm like, I don't even want the groceries anymore. I'm recording and I'm calling on him and stuff. He's pounding on my door angrily when he gets there. This is my job. this is my job and I'm just like inside like there's a man at my door shouting right now

what am I going to do hit him with the self-defense hammer no I'm staying indoors I was like yeah could you send me that we're going to send your whole order again we're going to redo it I'm like you're not going to send that same guy

are you because he's mean I'm scared of him I was scared of him he was big and mean he wanted it in he was pounding it's his job yeah you ready to wrap yeah I guess so I'm starving I gotta eat something

I haven't eaten all day all right PKK 793 yeah it is so I almost forgot