Painkiller Already - PKA 796 W/ Drift0r: “They Called Me The Killer”

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

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PKK 796, fresh from his casket, Drifter. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Lock and Load, also Blue Chew and our wonderful merchandise. Hear more about all of them later. Drifter, good to have you back, looking comfy. Thank you. Thanks for inviting me again. I always try to be your most comfortable guest.

You very much are. Yeah, I mean, we got to talk about this first. What's new in the world? I was hoping we'd get you seated. This was supposed to happen after the surgery that's supposed to get me upright, but that got delayed. So maybe next time. I'm going to try to make a super long, dramatic, weird story short and ingestable. We got four hours.

I'm going to get a spinal fusion because I'm tired of being the horizontal gamer. They gave me a bone density scan and basically- Came back bird. Yeah, I'm made of dust. It comes back in osteoporosis, so it can't be fused. No reason for that. Q about 50 doctor's appointments to check every vitamin, thyroid, barat thyroid, 500 weird diseases on the planet.

Still no real explanation for that. Currently, I'll just tell you what I'm trying to figure out. I have immunoglobulin subclass imbalances with... Oh, we all. Yeah, oh, yeah, total. Like, yeah. Pondy kettle. Cytokine for inflammation markers and cancer is all wacky,

but there's no cancer and got evaluated for everything reasonable, and it all pretty much comes back bunk. So we've moved on to getting a spinal cord stimulator, which won't fix anything other than making me not feel the pain, so I can be upright at some point in the future. And I'm trying to figure out how and why labs are so weird and why presentation make no sense to experts. And it's, I would like to say I'm a work in Prague mess,

but with a heavy emphasis on the mess. I'm trying to be reasonable. I lift weights, exercise, therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, swimming, touch grass, eat meat, sunlight, all that good stuff. I don't know. I'm drawing a blank here. So I guess in a certain kind of way, it's my usual. What's your timeline on? I remember last time it was brief. No, no, no, timeline on, or I guess time span better, for how long you can sit up and walk. Because last time it was a pretty brief window. Pain free, no problems, 15 to 20 minutes sitting.

if I'm able to walk and move around 45 minutes to an hour. Obviously, I can force myself to sit up for hours or multiple hours, but with significant pain and significant long-lasting pain afterwards. So I choose not to do that because I don't want to live my life in the shadow realm of pain. Yeah, no reason exacerbating it if you know it's coming. Like, dude's got a pretty good jaw line for someone who keeps it under 100 steps a day. I'll have you know I get about 7,000 steps a day. How the fuck? You can't stand.

I force myself to stand and walk because it's healthy, whether it hurts or not. And that's one of my primary exercises. Is that what's happening here? No, but I can't, I can't stand still like at military attention and not move my legs. That's real bad. If you wanted me to hold my holdings in a different problem. But if I had a phone and I could walk and lapse, yeah, I could be up for an hour or so. What's the recovery time after the 45?

Like if you walk around 45 minutes, you lay back down 15, are you? Oh, I need an hour. I need an hour minimum. Oh, that's terrible trade off. Yeah, it's not good. I'm here for a reason, unfortunately. And the other medical thing is getting spinal cord stimulator, which should help with pain. Already did the trial.

On the trial, I was able to be on my feet for first day an hour, second day, two hours, no problems. Recovery got faster. Eight at restaurants, slept on my side, did crazy stuff. like went all the way to the park and back. Worked pretty well. So I got to get the big one put in exactly a week from today, which will be about two weeks really sucky, and then about four or five after that of recovery.

Can't pick my hands up over my head during recovery. So I got this Gary Oldman from the Fifth Element haircut. It was originally supposed to be something different for an entirely different non-PCA-related gag. I just miscalculated my hair. It's supposed to be villain hair, and they gave me a very weird-looking villain. My friend says I should be very careful not to raise my arm over about 45 degrees in the wrong context. Well, that works because, as you just said, you have McCain syndrome, so you can't even do the full SIG.

Yeah. So that's the super short version. I've looked into all sorts of weird and wacky stuff and doctors and spent all sorts of money and wasted people's times and given enough blood to where I feel like a human porcupine with a human porcupine with a lot. all the needles and so far nothing really makes any sense and yes i've had four psychiatric evaluations this year they all come back normal they all they did not they need you take yes for different reasons because it's um what's the most insulting question they asked like you're faking uh you're looking forward to laying on your tummy and taking the big one this week

oh well jesus that's what he said i'm listening i'm hanging on every I'm starting to think you're not a doctor after all. Most embarrassing ones they always ask is they ask about sexual function because there's a spinal problem, which if the audience knows, all of that works just fine. Most irritating one is I got a nurse who told me to stop mansplaining to her what a corporation is. She got very irritated when she asked what might do for a job. And I was like, YouTube.

And she's like, who pays you? And I'm like, Google. And she's like, no, what corporation? and I'm like, well, it's mine. I have my own little corporation and it's a pass-through. And she gets like really mad. And she's like, look, I've been a professional nurse for 20 years and I have my LLC. You don't need to mansplain to me what a corporation is.

And I'm like, okay, I don't know what sort of psyche valve this is. This must be a high stress intake one. It's really weird. All right. I don't know, lady, but I'm going to request someone else take my blood now. You know that, right? Sorry, but can we get a man to take my blood? Because I'm not feeling accurate.

What a bitch. That's so. appropriate. You know, the way to do it with YouTube shit, anytime someone asks and it's like just a mechanic or something, they're trying to make conversation. What do you do? Just say like any general sales. Advertising. Marketing. Just say something normal. Because who wants to go through that rigamarue? I agree. Look it up. And it's like harder for me to lie. Not a lot of jobs I can do from the bed. So YouTube is there for me, I guess. See, I'm trying to keep this update short. It's just all weird. All weird and frustrating. Nothing makes sense and I'm just trying to deal.

Well, at least your spirits seem high. So that's good, keeping a good attitude about it. You said the osteoporosis thing. You're pre-ostoporosis or you're in it? No. I'm severely osteoporotic. For the three doctors that will watch this, my spinal Z score for lumbar is negative 4.7 for the ones that need to be fused, which is 4.7 standard deviations away from normal. And that is really bad. That's what you would see in like a 90-year-old woman who hasn't drank milk since she was 30. So there's not a reason.

It's a standard deane. Unbreakable, right? Do you have that? It's sounding more and more like you're becoming Samuel L. Jackson's character. Yes, I get that joke quite a lot. The doctors use that exact analogy to explain what's going on. I got banned from shooting guns just in case something goes wrong. Me too.

You have a lot of that. very different reasons. It's very annoying. The best any doctor has ever come up with is, well, you've had low T for a while, right? Low T, not good for bone development. The thing that I find weird, though, is I've only ever broken one bone. That was the spine. And it wasn't even with a trauma or injury.

It just went one day. But up until then, I was rough and tumble doing my own stunts. I couldn't tell you how many huge hits I took and did completely irresponsible. things, even with like zero testosterone and never broke a bone. So maybe you're incredibly lucky. I don't know. It's all very, very annoying to me and confusing. Yeah, I wish I had my bone density stuff in front of me right now. Mine's is super high. It's from lifting heavy and also just the testosterone. And it was already like high for white people. But I've moved into other racial categories. I'm very proud of my bone density. Wow. What's your numbers then? Let's compare.

I don't. That's what I was saying like, like I don't fucking know. Like I have no idea. I don't have my like dad in front of me. He can't swim. Nice to think right in the bottom. It just, yeah. He's like a hippo.

He can run quickly across the bottom, but he can't actually swim. I just checked because you said 4.7 standard deviations. And I don't know how many, like that's so extreme. I was like, what's the, what's 4.7 standard deviations above like American,

American mean like net worth to like give it like a comparison? That's like being worth $20 million. dollars. That's the level out there that is. I want to know on the downside like how broke do you have to be to be 4.7 standard deviations below the mean. I think that that means you've like big dead for years. You're like negative money. You're in debt, you know, probably a tremendous amount. I don't even know if there'd be, that that's crazy. Well, best of luck that really fucking blows. Thanks. having to take an hour rest after every 45 minute walk I would be so restless all the time like I just want I'd have the do you get restless legs where you just like kick in and moving

and rest of legs stiff sore I mean let's be real y'all it's a big joke right there is no world in which this is healthy or good for your body this is not good you shouldn't do this as long as I have to do it I do it as little as possible but it's all I've got to work with. So yeah, I've got all the stiffness, soreness, restless legs, all that kind of stuff.

That's, I mean, that sucks. But every time you blow out to the full picture, it's just so, it's so funny. Because you have such like a professional setup for it. I'm glad you think so. My stream deck 3D printed holder broke off, so I just stuffed it in a

jar over here for now. You got a good setup. So how much of your streaming is done from that position versus sitting? 100% of streaming from here, but I honestly haven't streamed in about six months. I've been trying to figure all this out, and all my steam has been going into other things. Not really even FPS games. When I do get online, it's team fight tactics, little strategy games, things that are particularly mechanically intense,

sometimes just watching things with people like movie nights or whatever. So streaming is way down. Content's still going, though, cranking a main channel, open to science channel, a media review channel, and still trying to figure out how TikTok is supposed to work. making some money on it, but it's inconsistent and weird. And the audience on TikTok is bizarre. Does TikTok pay? I thought it was really just about promotion.

TikTok? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it has ad revenue. Well, Twitter has ad revenue, but people make dozens of dollars. Like, it's bullshit. Does TikTok ad revenue, like competitive with YouTube? Yes, TikTok ad revenue significantly exceeds YouTube, proportional to the amount of you have to put into it.

Okay, okay. I'm not going to tell you I'm the world's greatest TikToker or that I have a big channel or go viral all the time. But if I work on it, I make a couple grand a month and it's relatively low effort and growing. So there's no reason to not do that. And instead of rambling about gaming, we can talk about science, artificial neurons, electric cars and fun little discoveries like that. Like Octopi that trained fish to hunt for them, just the same way we trained dogs because they're a similarly equivalent species. A little two-minute fun facts video, they tend to do really well. What kind of octopus are doing that?

Say that again? What kind of octopi are training fish? So this story was about nine months ago, maybe more. So I don't really remember. Ocean octopi don't remember the exact species. I do remember that they seemed to be training fish for competitive or cooperative hunting, much in the way ancient humans would hunt alongside wolves and then would later domesticate dogs. and they would train them a little bit.

There was even video of a fish helping with a kill and then eating before the octopus, and the octopus barks it with a tentacle to make it go away because the fish get the scraps when it's done. I had some good pictures, good video. That one did pretty well. I feel a little bit put on the spot because it was almost a year ago. I just remember it had a high views,

and I'm like, oh, God, I have to explain this now. I'm not judging. That is, if there was some sort of scientific way that we could give octopi, long, lives, that would be cool. Because they're so smart, but they cash out at like three. They just don't get that much time. A year and a half, right?

Am I wrong? Maybe even less. Like, it's a tiny amount of ocean. Yeah. Yeah, because they're getting eaten or something. It'd be fascinating to see if we could eventually train them to recognize symbols or pictograms or anything remotely resembling language. Yeah.

Like you've seen that shit with chimps where their short-term memory is fantastic once they learn to identify like a one as being first in an order that you can just show them a flash of like seven squares for one second in different spaces on the touchscreen it'll be like like consistently just one two three four five six seven have you seen that's better than a human being to do it to be it is better yeah uh in the science videos i also did a fun one this one wasn't very popular about rats that can drive scientists trained rats to be able to drive miniaturized cars and they loved it. The rats

eventually, they didn't even need rewards. They just liked getting in their little cars and driving around. So that was really fun. Very cute video to be able to show people too. So animal intelligence is fascinating. You might know more about this. When was it? It was like the 50s when the CIA was trying to

teach dolphins English and so they had like an immersion therapy? That was late 60s, early 70s. It might have been part of project MK Ultra. They built this, and I'm going purely on memory. I want to say they had an enclosure. They had scientists that lived with them.

And dolphins notoriously horny and sexually aggressive species to tourists on the beach, be aware, the lead female scientist was required to give the dolphins hand jobs for rewards for completing their language training, I suppose. It was a very bizarre old article. But if you don't talk about marine language, we've used AI to determine that whales have like nouns and verbs kind of like we do. Not necessarily sure what they all mean, but they were able to identify linguistic structures similar to human speaking. I buy that because we know, like, I know we've identified certain pitches and tones and like lengths of those tones. And then they can tell like, oh, this pod just turned around towards that call.

like some whale way out and it goes hundreds of miles and they can keep track of it because they put those like ear tags probably not in ear tags since it's what tasks were the dolphins required to complete for hand jobs we're trying to communicate with the dolphin it was for NASA though not the CIA they built this house with like like water walkways in the floor if that makes sense like almost like it's like they turn the house into Venice and and so there's these like water pathways to the house so the dolphin can follow the lady around everywhere I guess it's a reward system you know she tug him off every now and then this is an effective reward system Mrs. Ghanavachi had figured that out in Ocean City High School I wouldn't have taken two years to pass chemistry You've got a straight A seat

for DuPont or something Wow Look who knows his valent shells Holy God For valent bonds Is that a Dolphins And when he's going

Eh Eh! It makes high-pitched noises. See, that's what Flipper was really talking about during the whole TV show. It's like hand jobs, hand jobs now. I mean, they like them, of course. But you'd also have to be careful because I think I remember that dolphins' penises are prehensile. Are they not?

Where they can, like, they can control them like an elephant trunk. Because that lady was probably making sure that, like, as he was going soft if they're coming, that he wasn't like wrapping around the wrist pulling her down for another jackoff. Kyle, you're making a face that says, what? You're making a set. You're making dolphin dicks seem like cracking tentacles all of a sudden.

I think you can get away from the dolphin dick. Maybe they're much smaller than I'm imagining. Dolphins are pretty big. How big did you imagine the dolphin dick? I was picturing it big enough to be a threat to the small woman jacking him off. No way. No way. Not just the dick.

The dolphin itself is like a 500. pound muscle in the water though. Yeah, but they seem friendly enough as long as you jerk them off. No, they like swam with dolphins. You swam with dolphins? And rode on dolphins as well at a completely legitimate, totally above board facility in the Cayman Islands. Never, did not have to get any of them hand jobs, just fish, though. Man.

It's good. Swimming with dolphins would be fun. But they do drown people for fun sometimes, right? Or they just like push you down with their nose into the deep? I don't think it's for fun. I'm not familiar with that. I've never heard of a dolphin killing a person. I've heard.

Haven't dolphins attacked women sexually? Like, I've heard of this. Oh, yeah. The racist of the seas. And men. Oh, yeah. They're equal opportunity fuckers. They get that prehensile.

There's an episode of King of the Hill where Hank pays to, like, do the dolphin experience. And he's weirded out by it at first. But then he realized like, oh, my God, this thing is smart. He's having fun with me. He's squirting at me, throwing the ball. But then it gets a little horny. it's like the dolphin's cheeks get all rosy and it starts humping hang

and he's like, oh, and like he feels like his manhood has been like diminished because he's been sexually assaulted by a dolphin. It's great. It's a good app. What's one of as many?

Yeah, you're right, not that many deaths. What do you guys think about the new King of the Hill season? I skipped it. I watched the first episode or two and it was weird

and off putting to me. It was weird that like Con Jr. was in some sort of polyamorous fuck show fest thing i thought that was weird was odd and then i don't know something about like bobby flay bobby hill or not bobby flay who's the the dives and drive-in guy like what's like oh guy fierry flavor town yeah he kind of like turned into like that a little bit and and and that was a little off-putting for me and like i don't want to see hank get old see that's as much as i think the simpsons should just throw in the towel and just take a bow we all appreciate it so many

Emmy, so many awards, so many wonderful shows. I'm glad that Homer isn't getting old. I'm glad that Homer is frozen forever at 34, 35 years old or whatever he is. And I don't ever have to see Homer get old, because I don't need that in my life. When I saw Hank all kind of like old and a little broken down, I don't see that. You don't see that. Yeah, I mean, I'm a huge King of the Hill fan. Love that show, have for many years. When I saw they were going to age them in like the previews, I went into it, like with a bad attitude for the same reason Kyle said where I was like, I don't want them to change all these beloved characters and then gribble dies. And so we know that the next season is going to have a different voice or an impersonator doing it.

John Redcorn too. I agree with you. Yeah. And then Red corn. Red corn's out, gribbles out. The thing I disliked the most about it, although I did not,

after the season, I did not hate it. I didn't even really dislike it. It was almost fun. I did not like how they treated Connie. Like Connie was a very likable character in the original series. Like she's getting along with Joseph, getting along with Bobby. And they made her like shrill and annoying.

She would occasionally be shrill in the original series and like just a little bit of a bitch sometimes. But overall like goodhearted this and that. They really did her dirty. They made her unlikable in the new series, which I wasn't a fan of. Yeah. Same. I can see that. I would say that it could be sort of like

I'm talking about a race that's not mine like an Asian American community perspective where like her parents probably didn't want her with Bobby and they want her in the good school and they're trying to hook her up with the other kid who's from a rich family and she's kind of playing into that for most of the season before rejecting it.

Of course the character is Chang Wasong Song. And you know they wanted her to fuck Chang'wasan Song and marry him. way back time. Way back. But yeah, she just, she was too snippy towards Bobby.

In the original series, she would occasionally be snippy towards him when Bobby was acting a fool. But in this one, when he was choosing, when he was choosing his meats and gout over like being a mobile human being. He like developed gout by eating like a 15th century tyrant. And then Hank, Hank thinks he's like,

oh, my boy is going to turn. Furfto. Look at that, big. Thinking that he's getting it from fucking football. Gow. No, he's got to gout. Give me another Louis Anderson.

Are you watching Invincible? I know the first episode came out. I watched it with my girlfriend and I didn't want to watch it without her. I already did that to Goliath. I watched that without her and I feel bad. I feel guilty like I hide it. I need to bring it up and I won't spoil anything. Alan the alien is the big strong jacked alien who can speak with his mind.

And Omneman and Alan the Alien are still doing a thing together as they were from the previous season, which I'll keep vague. And we meet Alan the Alien's wife. The second we meet her, she fucking jumps on him on the bed. And he's like, whoa, we're not alone here. Anyway, their mission takes a couple of days. And Omni Man sleeping on the couch. And you hear Alan the Alien and his girlfriend just fucking banging. And it's like kind of funny.

he's got the pillow on his head. He can't handle the noise of it and whatnot. And I'm watching this with Colin a little awkward for me. But what else? We're going on. Night two rolls around. She is louder and more enthusiastic than she was on night one. Night three rolls around four by night five.

Yeah. Yeah, it's rough. I'm starting to side with Omni Man at this point. That this is a rough. I think they made you identify with a character. See things from his perspective. You saw him for a pause like they finally stop and he goes, and he like starts falling asleep and then they get right back.

Yeah, then they go for round two. Yeah, Alibi aliens got it going on and so does it. And the best part is Omni-Man has super hearing. So even if they were quiet, he's hearing all that. I always imagined what it would be like to be Superman, like the problems. Like one of them would be the cacophony of sounds you constantly hear. even you have to get one of those NASA sound rooms that's completely silent like zero decibels one of those sound chambers or something to exist in but the smells the smells just going through

life smelling everybody's farts and everywhere you go it's just farts and shit like like bad breath yeah or bad breath like stuff smells uh the the embarrassing moments like what are you talking about that reminded me of like all those cringe moments where you're with a family member or parents watching a sex scene in a movie. When Gone Girl came out, and in 2014, I just had to check. That's the one where Ben Affleck has that crazy wife. And this was like when the movie came out. And so no one knew. Me, both of my brothers, my mom and my grandparents, my mom was like, I've heard this is a good movie with Ben Affleck. Like, let's watch it. And so we started watching that. And my grandparents are Southern Missouri.

are a folk. They're not watching. My grandpa watches bull riding and my grandma like loves the like the real housewives of Atlanta and shit like that. And that's about it. And we were watching this. And the scene comes where the woman is like pretending that she was she's trying to fake the rape and so that she can, you know, malign him and get that. Yeah. And so she like grabs the wine bottle. And I remember sitting there on the couch and being like. No, no, no, no. And be like. No, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. And being like, Lord strike me down. And we're sitting there on the couch and she like goes into the bathroom. And it like shows her being like cramming this wine bottle in there to simulate damage from a violent rape. And everyone in the room knows what's happening. And it's so uncomfortable. And in the middle of it, my mom goes with my grandparents and me and my brother sitting there. This is 2014.

So one of my brothers is like 17 years old. and my mom turns to us and she's like, she's raping herself with the wine bottle. And my grandpa's like, oh, jeet, why are we watching? And we're just like, oh, my, and I'm like, is there any more of the pizza in the other room? The only thing I had that was kind of close to that

is me and my grandparents went to watch Alien Resurrection. It's in the mid-90. I haven't seen that. I don't, you haven't. This is 30. have a soft spot for that movie. I like that movie. It's quite good.

She makes the basketball shot. I'm sure you know. She made it for realsies. It's fucking cool. She makes like a court backwards basketball shot on camera. It's pretty cool. Anyway, there's a scene in that where Sigourney Weaver, who at this point is a clone of her old self that died in the previous movie. And when they cloned her, she was already impregnated by an alien.

She had one of those aliens inside of her. And so they kind of like got the DNA a little twist. it up. And so she's like seven eighths human one eighth alien. So she has like speed and strength and acid blood and she falls down this great system to where the queen

alien is. And instead of the queen alien lashing out and attacking her, it embraces her. And there's this kind of weird scene where they're clearly having some sort of weird sex like her and the and it's lesbian sex where the

where the queen alien is going to somehow I don't know how it worked. They didn't pan the camera down. You couldn't see. But somehow she gets some of Sigourney Weaver's pussy juice and makes a baby inside of her, okay, which then becomes the monster of the movie. Like that thing comes out and it's like half human. It's like five-eighths alien or something and like three-eighths human. And it's a nightmare to look at.

It's a real problem. But like we're in a movie theater, so we're not having a conversation about this. We watch the movie. It'll get to the end. And it's all over. Then we're in the hot car, like, driving out of there. And it's kind of quiet. And my grandma's like, but where did it come from?

And what were, I mean, when they were, were they, did they have sex? And me and my papa at the same time go, yes. We had both been sitting there in this awkward time of this 65-year-old Southern woman trying to figure out of Sigourney Weaver, her hero. I was like just fucked an alien queen. like wrapping her head around that it was very awkward we just wanted her to shut up

with her like you know when a man and a woman and Jesus I was like eight or nine but I knew the birds and the bees and it was awkward Yeah I'm a little mixed up on the mechanics too

Well those mechanics I'm still mixed up on I've seen that many several times I don't know how they made that weird baby But there's a lot of adult comics You can read about that online Yeah Oh Yeah

34 if it exists there is porn of it it is out there and see that i mean god the original hr geiger art that inspired alien i'm profoundly surprised with that nurse did you just tell pka what rule 34 was we we're all aware guilty mansplaining it was a manseplan i was like man spleen to me did you just mansplained route 34 i was watching millhouse Plow Lisa back in 1999, bro. You're not telling me anything. You're not telling me about the old texts. I was there when they were written.

If someone, he was there and a grown man at the time, a man grown. The only funny response, and I saw this so like a decade plus ago, is when someone is like, you're man, a woman's like, you're mansplaining. The only correct response is like,

I'm sorry, I thought you were confused. and that made me laugh. And that's how I got in the real estate business. That's how I got in the real estate business. Yeah. I'm thinking of other like nudity moments. My high school girlfriend and I were watching a move, forgetting Sarah Marshall in her room upstairs.

Door closed. Her dad had dropped the ball. And he came upstairs, like knocked, came in. And like, if you remember, I remember forgetting Sarah Marshall. It's like Jason Segal and Milakunis. And it's a very innocent movie for the most part. It's a silly laugh comedy. But he had come in exactly when he's standing there buck naked with his dick out. Exactly at that. The only instance in my memory of nudity in that whole thing outside of when Milakunis's like tit pick is found in the bar, the only instance of nudity.

And he like saw it and was like, and then just like left. And it. I was like, this is of course, of fucking core. But he was also for, this was my senior year of high school, 2009. That's when I, maybe 2008 or 2009 is when that Star Trek, the first Star Trek movie came out. And he was like as into Star Trek as you, Kyle. Every time I went over there for months on end, if he was in the living room, he was watching the same fucking movie. It was insane. It'd be like, just, like, he must have watched it dozens, dozens of times.

And he would sit there. Chris Pine one, the, like, Beastie Boys shit and all that? The one where he's flying into that, uh, that big kind of maw of the ship in his smaller ship. And he's like, tell him my baby, I'm gonna, oh, what are you going to name him? At Chris Emsworth. Honestly, that was a huge cameo for him. That part, like, I remember when you, when you see that, like, like, and especially

for the first time, I teared up a little. I'm like, oh, my God, we're starting out strong here. They're building an emotional base to build all the silly alien shit on top of, and I appreciated the hell out of it. That's a good scene. He's like, he's piloting, he's doing everything. He's piled in the whole ship by himself, punching numbers, while saying goodbye to his wife who's given birth to his child.

As he kamikazes the thing into the gigantic monster ship so that his wife and unborn child can escape, along with all the other crew. And he's just like, and the music, it's fucking great, dude. And they're talking about the sun. The sun's name. Star Wars. Oh, 100%.

Certainly now. Whatever Star Wars was, it is no more. You know what, Kyle, you're talking about how dramatic that scene was. You know what I associate that scene with? Is walking into that house, seeing the like, what are we going to name our boy? And in my head, I'm thinking, we've got two hours. Because he was glued. He was glued.

He loved it. Yeah, that makes sense. No, I don't know how to compare. It's hard to compare Star Trek. It's hard to compare Star Trek and Star Trek. in Star Wars, but I think if you compare the best of Star Trek against the best of Star Wars,

Star Trek wins. And I think you know, Star Trek has so many TV shows that... And worst against worse. I think it wins there too. There's some moments in Star Wars that are good though. Like there's some like... Well, if you can be very best of worst, yeah, get you. Like when Darth Vader shows up

in most of the movies, it's like, oh, this is fucking great. When he shows up in Andor or whatever, Rogue One, he shows in Rogue One in that like tunnel hallway and they're trying to get the death star plans like they're handing it and passing it through doors that won't quite open and close right and he's just and everybody's shooting at him and it doesn't fucking matter he's forced choking people and the music's hitting that's a cool fucking moment all of andor is like five stars when Luke Skywalker shows up um in mandorian at the last

and that's what that is what i'm going for yeah yeah i see fan edit to that i watch them all the time That gets me fucking going. They do different music to it. They do, I need a hero. Oh, my God. When I need a hero, that's in my workout music. I'll be about to fail. And I'm, he's got to be strong.

And he's got to be fast. And he's got to be fresh to the fight. And I'm just like, ah! It's great. Love that song. That's a good workout song. Final countdown is another good workout song.

Yes. Taylor has like that strong for 15 years now. It's all rules. His hype. since he was complaining about the way parents raised him at 15. Parents are gay. Funnel Countdown Box. When his content was about like, I don't know,

parents being nice to their kids or something, he liked that song. I mean, it's evergreen, dude. Star Wars is no longer evergreen. I think Disney sort of marvelified it. Now, there's a lot of old Star Trek episodes that are based on philosophical questions or puzzles that age really well. There's some schlucky ones for sure. But I feel like they cranked out so much Star Wars,

so fast, all official, expanded universe. I watched a red letter media. I don't know if you guys see any of that. And they tried to count them. Yeah, they counted something like 48 Star Wars products since the Disney acquisition. And they're trying to make Star Wars for everybody. There's a corner of the galaxy for everybody. And I think their opinion is correct. When you make it for everybody, it's ultimately for nobody. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly the problem.

What do you mean? They're actually, there's a corner of the universe where people flee and they're getting along. Not literally physically that, but just they're making all these different properties, whether it's comics, TV shows, or films that are meant to appeal to various different subsets of the viewing audience. Some of them really are like, I mean, there's that one show that's got the, like, the black, lesbian witch coven who used the force in a different way. And it's like, sure.

It's kind of like when people are like, I just love everyone. And it's like, well, if you love like some random Nepalese tribesmen the same way you love your uncle, then you really are just saying you don't particularly care for anyone. Like, because that's crazy. Or you're the hive mind from pluribus. Yeah. Don't support. I haven't seen it all yet. You were talking about this movie in the last week, Kyle.

and it made Final Destination, that series. And so falling asleep a few nights ago, I was scrolling in bed. I was like, oh, Final Destination One. I'll like watch part of this and fall asleep in the middle of it. It's early in the movie. And I had forgotten this entirely. After the plane crashes and they are at the funeral, like the mass funeral for all the kids who died, one of the survivors gets up there and does like an offensive job.

Jewish impression as a Jewish character in the movie where he's like, the thing about death is you never know where it's coming from or who's going to get hit by it. We all need to look inside and realize that life is fragile. And I'm like, this is, and I was like, this is this. I was laughing, like trying to not laugh, wake up my wife. I was like, this is, this is insane. Do you remember that? Someone should have shut that down. Someone should have got in there and been like, maybe, you know, soften it up. You're sounding like Kyle's cousin and South Park. Elijah wouldn't should have stepped up. I haven't seen the first one in a really long time.

I recently watched some of the later ones, though, like the newest one and one or two more of them. They're great fun. If you just want to see like Rube Goldberg machines killing people essentially, like randomly. And you never know who's actually going to die. They always subvert your expectations. And it's that over and over and over with ever escalating violence and gore. Lots of go. What's your favorite kill or death since?

All right. So it's a little tacky. but there's one where the white supremacist who calls the security guard the hard R inward then tracks him down to his home and he's in the process he's a truck driver like he's got a like a wrecking like a tow truck and it's got that ball with the hook on the back and he gets out of that he finishes his beer he's approaching the black man's house who's inside wearing like white people pajamas it was bizarre and he starts the process of planting a cross a crucifix in the yard he's going to burn it but through this weird root

Rube Goldberg machine set up, the truck starts rolling away and the tow hook falls down, and the guy ends up being drugged down the road by his own truck, which is, you know, how white people drug that black guy to death in Alabama many years ago. So they're definitely, like, doing that. So it's dragging him down the road, dragging him alive to death, if that makes sense. And then he catches fire. I don't remember exactly the mechanism for him catching on fire, but the black guy opens his door because he hears the hullabaloo,

and he looks and there's a truck driving down the road dragging this white man in Bibb Overalls who's on fire and screaming as he's drugged to death so that is my favorite kill that is great. The log scene on the highway and the beginning of the second movie though is probably the most iconic like so many people talk about now online and read it and places like that

after seeing that scene I never like coast next to a log truck anymore I changed way back or way ahead that hit that hit Millennials so much where like I would do the same thing where I will accelerate and speed around log trucks because I've seen it. You seem like you have one in mind Drifter. What's your number one dad? I think there's final destination. I want to say three or three D. There's kind of a funny one where this dude gets his ass stuck to the sump at the bottom of a pool. And you think he's going to drown. And you think it's like, oh, he's going to drown. Nobody's going to help.

but the pressure of the water draining is so intense. It sucks his organs and insides out through his ass and into the mechanical structures underneath the pool. I found that one deeply amusing. That is a phone one. That's when I turned the movie off. That one upset me so much. I was like so afraid of having my own asshole sucked out.

It's still beautiful. He looks like Voldemort. All strolled up afterward. There's a sexy. That happened in real life. Did you guys know? that? I've heard that. Yeah, I heard there's a real story. Yeah, so the drain at the bottom

of this pool, I think, was like a sort of singular tube as opposed to being more spread out and dispersed. And a child was like playing with the drain. It was on constantly because that's the filter. The drain at the bottom of the pool doesn't just drain water out. It puts it through the filter, then goes back in the sides, the jets.

You get it. Anyway, kid touches this, gets stuck to it, can't get themselves off of it and drowns. So they hire a personal injury lawyer. And he is like the top personal, it's in North Carolina. He's the top guy in the state makes it big, huge case, wild victory for him. His elevated like status amongst the law community gets elevated even further.

And he becomes like the guy. And he later became a presidential candidate. It was John Edwards. Oh. I didn't know that at all. Yeah. I like the end of movie one. the most, like when they think they're in the clear.

In the first one, the guy thinks he's in the clear, and it's always them walking backwards into Doom, where he's like, we're fine, it's all good. And then the lights come in and crush him. But the best one was they're like celebrating their victory over death in France. I don't know if there's a second or fourth movie. And the guy is like, like, you just escaped what you think is like a harrowing, supernatural experience.

Literally, yeah, personified. He backs, he like walks backwards into traffic and then that bus just ruins the whole thing and then everybody gets crushed and killed. I like the end of movie ones. I like the way they're never happy at the end. It wouldn't be a good fun series if any of them survived. Tony Todd is the black guy who's in all. Yes. Also Candyman.

Also, he is Worf's brother in Star Trek. I didn't know that. Yeah. He's a reoccurring. He's in, he's in DS9, is in TNG. He's some great episodes. He's dead now. Oh, this guy was the slave driver in the Spartacus series.

Was he not? No. They all look the same, bro. Like, Jesus. That's a football. Taylor, I'm offended. Man. Yeah, that's Morgan Freeman.

Yeah, that's him. Oh, this guy, this guy was in Shawshank, right? Yeah, that's him. It's the same guy. Andy Dufrein thought he wasn't going to get raped, but he did. The sisters had their way with him. They were pretty freaky with it, too. They had a long

Some people think they could only come once Andy Dufrain learned that wasn't true They did an extra load that day And it wasn't laundry That was the worst part of Shashik I don't care for rape scenes and movies Like it's off-putting There are some great movies

There are some really great movies To have rape scenes in them And I have a hard time recommending them To my female friends Because I'm like Also trigger war morning, rather traumatic rape right in the middle of this film. And they always go, oh, well, fuck that then.

I'm like, yeah, I get it. Like, I didn't like it either. Like, Wind River, Wind River with Jeremy Renner. That's like a nine out of ten fucking badass movie. It's written by Taylor Sheridan before he sold out. It's very fucking good. There's a girl dies on an Indian reservation and an inexperienced FBI agent played by fucking Scarlet Witch shows.

up and then she needs help. She's like over her head in this thing and she's been sent. It's sort of indicative of how how not too seriously the feds are taking this dead native girl. And then Jeremy Renner, Hawkeye, is like a game agent, like wildlife and game agent in the area and they like duo up to solve this murder. And it's great. It's harrowing,

thriller, always peeling back new layers. It's not slow. And it takes place in, I don't know, Alaska or like North, North Dakota or like some winter wonderland wasteland. What's the most traumatizing mainstream rape scene you can think of? Irreversible. That's the one I was going to come up with. Oh, God.

Yeah. I've never heard of that. That's Monica Balucci. That's my girl. Okay. Monica Balucci also plays one of the, she's in a lot of roles. The French art thriller film? It starts with a beautiful woman being raped and then, you know,

Revenge has to take place and it gets more. I think it's that's irreversible reversed, the alternate edit. The original starts, you start with a man committing a random murder and it goes backwards in time until you see the crime, the victim, original. It's one of those things where they show you like the last minute of the movie, then the second to last minute. And it's played, you know, and like sort of backwards and these, it's not backwards backwards. It's just, you know, the last minute, the second of last minute, the third to last minute. So it unfolds backwards. And it's like, like he said, it starts off with this brutal beating and murder and you don't know anything about it.

You think the murderers are the terrible people. And then you understand how they got there. It's really good. It's better to watch it the other way around. Like it's better to start with the rape. I don't know. There was another one, Momento, which was the same sort of thing where they played the movie backwards. And I'm told if you watch it forwards, it's just a.

really like obvious easy to throw out but with it but but in irreversible they make it so that you can't can't have no moment of like happiness in the movie because if you start with the rape you get the worst part

out of the way and you're like oh my god that's so awful what are we going to do and then at the end revenge is ours if you watch it the other way you start off with gore and violence you're like what the fuck and like you slowly come to realize that that thing you watched 90 minutes ago was justified and it doesn't

it it's almost like they intentionally made it so the audience couldn't have that moment of like all right we got them though revenge is ours and i think the point of that is what happened to her is irreversible smashing his skull in beating him to death with a fire extinguisher isn't going to fix what was done to her it might it might make those guys feel better i'd help a little I'd feel a little bit better about things if I knew he got smashed. I wouldn't like that ordering of it. I would rather see a tale of, you know, not triumph. Well, I guess it would be triumph.

You know, you start with something horrible, and then she gets the revenge, destroys the man who did something horrible to it. I got another film edit, does the same thing, fixes the whole thing, makes it a better film. There's a brave heart at it begins with the death of William Wallace. Hmm. It's better that way.

And when does it end? Just at the last battle? I think it ends in like a battle that he won or something. I don't remember it's been so long since I watched it. But I always say like him being tortured and castrated to death at the end really takes the fun out of that film. But you get it out of the way early. Then you get to enjoy like his rise to power and see like all the good things. Well, not entirely because he does inspire because after he gets dismembered and whatnot,

there is that final, the beginning of that giant battle scene where they talk about how everyone was brought up and inspired and all the Irish and the Scots and everyone were on board. I suppose. I suppose. That's just another one where they're sick anyway. Anyway, slice it. I just hate that he dies. They were already like fictionalizing the hell out of a historical character. Why not just make him win like Quentin Tarantino did and glorious bastards?

And then he killed the King of England. What if he like, what had he like undertaken his way out of the like binds? Like tore them away and grabbed the executioner's axe, like chopped the torture in. half, like, bisected him, like, top the bottom. And then he's running, like, jumping over people's heads, like, alligator, like lily pads as he, like makes his way to the King of England. Come on.

The King did have his funny moments. Do you remember when like... Every time he throws that... When he throws out the window. His husband's like, I'm trained in warfare and all sorts of things. And then he's like, yes, walk with me over to this open window. It's like, grasp your cloak incredibly tightly. like you just tosses

over there the new abbey I'm going to be real you need to get your shit together I can't have the kingdom to you unless you're willing to you know get down in dirty in a way not the way you're thinking the other way

yeah that was great that was a good scene he throws that fruit out the window it's hilarious I'm trained in diplomas in I speak seven languages I'm the just right out the window I didn't give a fuck it's great they were brutal the English were you know I don't want to go

too far. We all called them bullies against the Scots and the Irish. I'm glad you held back. I'll talk about my people that way. You should have seen what they did to the Indians and the Chinese. The Chinese? Yeah, was it the Russian? Yeah, and the opium trade. And that's when China found out that the Industrial Revolution had happened and the English had cannons.

Oh, these guys play for keep. They gave him just massacre to bombarded the city and stuff, got their surrender. Yeah, it's the boxer rebellion. And then I don't know too much about what they did to the Indians. I hear it's true. Tortured, murdered, just pure resource extraction. They might as well have been viltramites, you know. Is that what the viltramites are up to?

Like, is there a goal to like take, because there is. I could tell you it was just explained today. Oh, well, okay, forget that then. I'll learn it tonight when I watch it with my lady. But theorizing here, I've always said that if the Viltramite showed up, I would surrender immediately and I'd become like a collaborator because they seem like they've got a good deal going. They're like, hey, they're all Superman.

Yeah, it's like if the Cretonians, if there was a bunch of them, and they rule the whole universe. And each one of them is basically an indestructible Superman. And they go from planet to planet, be like, you're part of the empire. Oh, no? Then I'll decimate your whole. species, I'll end you. And so they rule all these planets. It hasn't really been explained yet, but the way that they sell it, the way that the Vilter might sell it to, when they come to Earth,

is like, hey, we're the greater good here. Like, sure, you're going to be, like, under us and part of our empire, and we will rule you, but we're space gods. We're going to lift you up to, like, the servants of a space god are way better off than humans are. Like the conquist years. Yeah. It's what it seems like to me, Woody. They've got space god technology. They came him from another world. I don't know what they want from us.

Like maybe they want some pussy. That's fine with that. There's enough to go around. I've never seen the viltramites treat any non-viltramite like their life had value. Oh, you guys. I've read all the comics that I want to talk so much spoilers, but I don't want to spoil. I just don't remember this little tip. I mean, I know they're essentially the bad guys.

I know what happens in the end and all that stuff. I don't know. I'll get to it. The two episodes ahead of Kyle in the show. How does the animation look? I heard it's not as good. I'm not sensitive to it, but people who are might be frustrated. Like, I talked about the scene where Omni Man had like a pillow trying to, and his hearing.

It's literally a still shot. I'm like, this is a still shot for 10 seconds or something? Like, is this animated? I'll try not to spoil anything, but there's like an asteroid that goes towards a planet. and I'm like imagine I took an asteroid picture and just sort of slid it by hand

and it didn't move along the way like this is there were areas that it takes so long to do because they had a year and they've gotten tens of millions of dollars for sure it's very popular

they're North Queen edited I was a big scandal so the animation studio out sourced and they didn't really check and some of the animators were literally

like working from North Korea. And they still sucks and it still took a long time. Like that just use AI. Use AI and like I don't know what you'd call proofreading a video,

but like look at it carefully. Make sure everyone has the right amount of fingers and like you did just use AI and get it done faster and better. I, I, maybe. Like I would be okay. Like I don't know enough about modern animation.

Like how they draw a cartoon like Invincible. I've seen little documentaries about how Disney used to do like Alice in Wonderland with these, it's all hand drawn and these huge mats and then it's, it looked intricate as fuck. It looked like, it looks more like magic than technology, the stuff they're doing. It's weird. They do this stuff with layered glass where each layer has a different bit of like paint on it. And they, they get this visual effect by stacking the glass and everything.

But I would imagine modern animation involves something like an iPad and a cursor or something. Or maybe you're scanning pencil drawings or something. So it just seems like more. more bodies thrown at this could just fix it. I hear about coding, for example, that like more bodies won't make this go faster. So, yeah, if you imagine, like, can more bodies solve a puzzle? Well, if the puzzle is dividable and divisible, then probably yes. If it's not, then you can't really just hand a puzzle off from one guy to the next to the next and have him work around the clock and get it done faster.

It has to be the guy picking up where he left off. So for me, the answer to me is like, let's say there's eight episodes this season. That's what they usually do to us something like that. Get eight different animation studios. I don't care if the style is different. I actually enjoy that. Like if it's stylized different, like I, what was the show on Netflix that? Yeah, I robot or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The way I robot comes with, like, one of them will be like a funky 3D modern animation, and then they'll be like hand-drawn stuff, and it'll be like anime style, and then it'll be like full on like photo realistic. Holy shit. That's Michael B. Jordan stuff. I would be perfectly fine if the whole season of Invincible was like that. Like you don't have to make huge swings back and forth.

Like in the way that like I said, there's that episode with Michael B. Jordan where it's photorealistic. It's clearly just him. I'm like, is it real? Like that's, I don't even know what I'm looking at. But like, just get eight different studios. I don't understand why you can't throw more bodies at it. And it's annoying what animation takes forever.

Why did you hate the AI animation idea? I just don't like AI animations. I'm a big AI hater. I find the technology. You're racist against clankers. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even, I thought you made a qualitative argument.

Huh? I thought you'd make a qualitative argument, like some sort of lack soul or whatever. But you're like, no, when I heard it's about AI. I feel, I've said this on the show so many times people know what I'm about say we're being programmed to hate AI art it's artists who have this loud no one is saying oh my god AI certified public accountants that's terrible I pumped in my you know tax question into chat GPT and it answered it with no soul I want a real accountant to give me my tax queries and it's no one says that no one says that they hate AI code that's been written some people might fuss about the quality

but mostly they're okay with AI replacing every profession. But then when we get to artists, the ones who have their own voice, suddenly we're trained. Like, no, not AI animation. Animators are going to be out of work. Fucking put them next to the travel agents that are out of work. I don't give a shit. I just want my Invincible coming a little bit faster.

And quite frankly, I'm not impressed what the humans are doing right now. Let's give the AI a shot. Oh, boy. I disagree with you on so many levels. The shortest one being that for, For art in particular, AI can only sort of generate art that it's stolen or at least sampled from. So everything is in some way taken from artists largely without their permission. Like this episode is going to get uploaded to YouTube.

YouTube is going to scan all of us here and all of our conversations and use that to train their next trillion dollar model without our permission, which is very annoying. But I think it's kind of scary because you want AI to make your life easier. You want AI to do accounting. You want AI to do research. You want it to solve problems. And you think about this world like, okay, if I had a lot less work to do, what would I live? What would I do? I would engage in scientific pursuits, creative endeavors, maybe, something in the humanities and arts, something that's personal and enjoyable. And oops, it looks like actually AI is crushing all of that first. It's replacing artists before it's replacing accountants. And it does feel kind of perverse in a way that we're using the technology to kill our fun and our spirit. instead of getting rid of menial chores. AI creates art the same way artists create art. Every single singer says that, you know,

when they were teenagers getting going, they emulated whoever, Billy Joel, Cardi B, someone. They were basically just copying that guy before they found their own voice. This is how art is done. Every painter, every whatever writer, is inspired by somebody, and they're standing on the shoulder of giants.

And AI does that too. It's not to me an argument that AI is doing it wrong. It's doing it just like we do. I don't necessarily agree because AI struggles to implement its own creative touches. So I fully agree with what you said, standing on the shoulders of giants, everything is a remix. But people take a remix and then they add a subversion. They add their take and their layer to it. AI currently doesn't have the sort of ingenuitive mental capacity that a person does.

So what it'll do is take like a base layer of an image of like a person in a pose and be like, okay, we're changing the clothes. And we're mixing things around. It's never going to generate a new concept on its own. It's never going to stand on the shoulders of giants. It's like taking from a big soup and remixing it constantly to make new things, but never elevating. At least same way people do it. Yeah, I don't see the difference. I care less about whether it is AIR.

or human created art and more about what that art is and how it's being applied. I don't like the idea of I know the, I can't think of who makes Baldur's Gate that that Deb company, but they got into a little bit of hot water saying that

they were just using it to like create backgrounds to like learn from. They had to make a statement we're like, all right, no AI art. We'll draw it all. All right. Just leave us alone. We'll draw it fucking all. Every bit of it. Leave us alone. And I'm

okay with that because the stuff that I consume, I want to be of the highest. I like the idea that a person, like handmade this and tweaked this thing. It adds value to it for me. The same way that a handmade, anything does. If I hear something that's handmade, I'm interested, you know? Like, so I kind of want my, my games and my movies in particular that I'm going, if I'm going to pay money for them, to also be handmade, because I think it will be of higher quality. For something like this invincible animation, it's, seems like you could draw one frame where he pulls the punch back and another frame

where like the person gets hit in the face and the computer could fill in everything in between very accurately every single time. And if it didn't one frame you're like hey, too many fingers. Hey, the force lines aren't are fucking out of whack. Tweek that a little bit. 90 degrees, not fucking 45 and just get there.

I don't need a graphic starts do that for video games. So you're familiar with that? Yeah, frame generation. Yeah. And another... Well, I was just going to bring that up. Did you see DLSS-5? Woo!

That is a little different. That's doing more than generating frames. That's... That's... I read what it literally is, and it's a little over my head. But it's more than frame generation, and it makes things look like shit.

I agree. Maybe not like shit, but it looks like a whole different thing than it's... than what you started with. It's a different version. AI filter. Yeah.

I read a comment that said it was an Instagram filter. It seemed to be creating something out of thin air. So what DLSS did previously is you might, like let's say you want to display it at 1080p. You might render it at like 480p and then it upscales in such a way that it almost fills in all the details and make it look nearly as good as native 1080p. right the drifter would you say about on target there completely on target yeah this new thing doesn't just sort of take it and make it what they were really aiming it in a more efficient way it changes the bullseye and has it go somewhere else like there'll be an old lady and then here's this old lady with so many more wrinkles it'll be this thing and then it's just not what

they were they changed the bulls like they made it look like something else and uh i don't know how i like it. I don't know. Everyone hates it, but I'm still watching. I'm still open to it. Maybe you can tweak this. All right, so in some

games, he just stole the soul of my game. And now it doesn't even, it's supposed to be a scary witch monster. Now it's like a quasi-sexy woman. Like, here's an example. Here's an example I don't mind. I'm okay with this.

I don't know what game this is. I'm guessing it's like Resident Evil or something. Yeah, it's a new Resident Evil. Cool. I'm surprised the new Resident Evil looks as bad as that left photo because that woman's face doesn't look like what I think of cutting edge. The whole internet says it made it horribly worse, but I'm with Kyle. I'm like, wait, isn't that better?

I recognize this example is better for me. Zach, show us some more. I sent a link and there's the internet. The left is better? Yeah, their argument is that the right isn't what the game developer put in there. In some instances not. This is another good example, if you ask me. If I saw this, I'd be like, oh, I prefer it on.

Like, not only is her face like better, like her clothing, everything was better. So here's we got before in Starfield and then after. Oh, so that took me out of it. I don't like that. One of the things that's doing, if you take a look at it, you guys have all edited videos before. It seems to be turning up lighting and contrast. it seems to be sharpening image and it's just kind of blowing it out

and then for faces it's kind of I've heard the word yassifying people it's like if you've seen the AI girlfriends and the AI like face beautification Snapchat filter it's definitely doing some of that especially on that first image you showed what is yassifying that's I don't know this sort of like beautifying gas queen

yeah oh yeah the next one you showed somebody's the yes sir that that Hogwarts one? She got better. It looks like it made that whole scene brighter, easier to see. I like that. Yeah, some people said it removed shadows. I'll be honest.

I would probably turn it on in most instances that you've shown me so far. Like, not only... All right, so here's a classic. Is this... That's oblivion. Oh, I... I need to see...

I need to see it move. I do like the still better because, like, that's either oblivion or yeah it is it's oblivion remastered yeah so it looks like shit the faces in particular look real bad to compare you to modern games that's part of the fun of oblivion though is the faces are so that's what I was going to say yeah like if if you're looking for like a retro experience like I'm playing that bulk gun game it's it's like looks like it's

it's playing on Windows 95 or something like that but I kind of like that I'm looking for a retro experience you might not care for that but most of those instances I kind of like it I'd like to see them talk I'd like to see the characters a video of his characters that are being DLSSF5ed talk and move around and stuff and see what the motion looks like. But I did see some instances

where it turned like a troll into a quasi-sexy woman and it's like, whoa, what happened here? That doesn't seem like that setting then. Was it a real example or like a peepe I could have been fooled? I could have been fooled. There's a lot of fake ones and a lot of like meme ones.

It is a meme now. Yeah. it's easy to be misled. Yeah, I saw some mean ones that weren't trying to trick anyone. They were so silly. And this is all on the consumer side, right? You just flip it on or off. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Well, see, people are upset because they, part of the argument is that the reason that RAM costs so fucking much to people who just want a new PC is it's all going to this shit. It's all going to AI. Now you got me on board, baby.

Let's go. You fix that. You fix that. bungloid's face. Ram prices are insane. I don't know about your guys' setups. The computer that I bought, I upgraded my wife and I's computer about a year and a half ago. Like right when Trump got elected, I was like, oh, no, tariffs, let's just buy a new thing.

And lo and behold, it's AI that drove the RAM prices. Our old computers, 18 months old, are worth more now than when we bought them new. That's great. What card did you get for it? I've got a 4090 in mine and a I think a 4070 TI in hers pretty fat NVME's we got her computer I think has six solid state drives I've got 64 gigs of RAM I think she's got 32 so that's a lot of RAM what's NVME I don't know what I'm talking about that's that's a that's a solid state drive that you plug directly into your motherboard so it can communicate faster it looks like it actually looks like a RAM stick yeah like an M2 drive type thing yeah

The only game I've ever played where I felt like I was really grinding the 4090 I have to max was when I would zoom in, Kyle, when we were playing Total War Warhammer 3. It was three, right? Yeah, that's a demanding game, yeah. And you could zoom in on the armies, and with the 4090, it's crazy. Like, the orcs, like, have different pimple allotments. You've got to get a better monitor. It's crazy. You don't even know.

No, I have a good monitor. You got the 1440? It's 144 hertz. It's I can play in 4K, but I do the level below that. 1440. If that's what that is, then that's what I play stuff in. Yeah. Okay, great.

That's right. You upgraded. I'm grinding the fuck out of Marathon right now. Marathon's a new extraction shooter by Bungy. It's 14 days old today. I have 115.2 hours in it. Not one minute is like, you know, lobby screen. Seven hours a day, right?

Dude, it's a lot. Seven hours a day. I left out the 37 hours I put in the server slam like test a few days before that. Have you gotten better? Single handedly keep the game afloat because everybody's very excited for Marathon to fail and get shut down. There's a lot of negativity about it. I follow that. To me, the negativity is like fading.

away. People are, I haven't seen it like I did when it first dropped. There were like haters come out of the woodwork and it's getting blasted by all these people who never played it. On Steam, the reviews are very positive, I think, something like that. I use my friends in my group chat, which is like my real life buddies who liked a game, but they're like fathers and like working people. Like they're just like playing at night. And all of them tried Marathon, really didn't like it. and then went back to Ark Raiders. That's the game that they're all still grinding and having fun with. But part of that is the result of a lot of the super online people who play games a lot,

very rapidly maxed out on Ark Raiders. And they're like, all right, well, on to the next. But for the regular day-to-day gamer playing after work, they're still grinding. Arc Raiders loving it. They're texting me to play this afterward. It's an Arc Raiders wipe. In two days, I maxed out all my work. benches. Like, I'm basically ready. And that's my... The no build time is, is let you accelerate and

like warp through things. And obviously then the tasks are just simpleton stuff. Like, like... Yeah. All right. So I've got a question about Marathon. Is it more or less hardcore than Tarkov? Less, I think. It's much easier to learn. In Tarkoff, just building a gun or even knowing what a good gun is. I mean, you pull up another monitor. Ph.D. and astrophysics to assemble your gun and stuff like that. In this game, I'm also still getting my arms around what's good and what the meta is with different weapons. But I'm gathering it.

It's somewhere in between Tarkoff and Arc Raiders, but I got a hangar from Riders. It feels hardcore. Oh, and what it doesn't have as bad? It's new, but there's no hackers. I really like that. And the ability to create hacked clients, there's so much stuff that happens on the server that I don't think it's going to be bad. For example, no wall hacks ever.

The server just doesn't send data about who's on the other side of the wall. You don't know. There is no hacked client that can tell you like where people is looking through where people are on the other side of the wall because it doesn't get to your PC.

And they did everything they could to handle that. The anti-cheat, I guess, is like are there one headshot kill weapons? Yes, there's a sniper I know that can headshot in one kill, which I think is a little OP right now. The time to kill is pretty fast. If you used to Arc Raiders, it's like, what?

I didn't even get a chance to fight back. But if you're like Tarkoff, then you know, like, well, you were the dumbass who presented your head on a platter to someone half the time. Were you standing still on top of a roof? What did you think was going to happen, huh? someone's going to blast your head off and you start to play in a smarter way. I was trying to open that box and the guy takes

fucking forever to go yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you feel about the art style? The art style's very controversial. Yeah, I didn't like it first, but it grew on me. Yeah, I don't care for it. It's whining by it. Art style is like the fifth most important thing to me.

So I was like, even though I don't like that, let's play it. I was thirsting for something new. I have, let me see. In Arc Raiders, I have 527 hours. And I would just like more than done with that game. So I was hungry for something new. Yeah, that's... I like the guns to be real guns.

You know, like, I'm into guns. I like guns. So, like, it's kind of neat to me to see real world guns. And, you know, I've talked about Tarkov a ton, but it just does it all so well. It's just got cheaters. It's just got some... Tarkov has some problems.

that marathon is standing on its shoulders. Like here's an example. The X-Fills are not in the same spot every time. They get marked on your mat. First of all, there's no X-Field until five minutes in the raid. That's kind of neat. If you get that T-card and you want to run out, fuck you.

You got to survive and play the game for a little bit. You can't just run in, but there's no safe pocket. So you have to live for five minutes. Not at all. And you have to, right, there's no concept of a safe pocket in this game. You have to live.

You have to fight your way to an X-fil. You don't even know where it's going. going to be and you have to get your way out to earn anything. And I like that. Exfills move around. So in Tarcoff, people start camping in Exfville from like 150 meters away. That doesn't exist as much because you don't even know where the X-Fills going to be this raid, not until later on.

I guess you got a map. Yeah, the map will pull it up. I need that. I need that safe pocket when I play Arc Raiders. Because sometimes I'm like, all right, at least I have my prickly pair. Yes. Yeah, yeah, right? And then I just because I know, I know for a fact that I am so woefully unequipped in FPS to compete with a lot of these guys that I just, I need to know there's

something to keep me going. I get it. I get it. I got a thing today I did get out with it. But I was like, man, I'd kill for a safe pocket right now. I have 115 hours in my game. And this is the fourth time I found one of these. And I need three more after this. Like, it's really big to me. I was trying to think of the other mechanics. I love that there's really, they kind of, oh, oh, you can't give things to your friend. Or if you can, it's just for that raid. So let's say that your shield is crap. And I'm like, you know, you're rich uncle.

I give you that shield, but either you die and we lose it or you X-fil and it comes back to me. Oh. So the whole economy of Chinese hackers, like hacking into the game, getting loot and selling it on eBay doesn't exist. You can't give me stuff that I use for more than a raid. And that's another way that they've kind of combated hacking. It's still tour guide. Why can't the other games do this shit you talked about where they just don't feed information about who's behind the wall? Because you guys have talked about that for Tarkov.

It's baked in. It's already part of the pudding. There's no getting it up. There's no going back. The same way, like Tarkov is like a 16 hertz game. It's only ping in the server 16 times a second. Marathon's a 60 hertz game. You won't get shot like going like, you know, you shuffle back and forth at the edge of a doorway or something.

and you're peeking and shooting and pop it, and you go back into cover and then you fall over dead. And it's what the, it's infuriating. Like, clearly what he saw on his screen was not what was, what was going on your screen. Like,

he got some sort of peaking advantage, maybe because he's in Slovakia and he chose a North American server. Like that literally happens. So it's kind of nice to have a, I've always dreamed of a game with a 60-hertz server. I don't know how many do. There aren't many. I don't know of any of it.

There's Counterstrike. I know that I want to say, For certain levels of either ranked online or matches, I think they have 120 hertz or maybe 240 server, some absurdly high number. There's a handful of very competitive games that have high tech great servers. Maybe Halo and Kyle. I could imagine 20 years of Call of Duty special. Mm-hmm. Been shot around corners by magical.

So they kind of did a lot to fix ex-fill camping, although it still exists a little bit. They did a lot to prevent hacking from happen. in the, you know, removing the real money trading and just not sending information to the PC that hackers would need to write their clients. And I'm excited. Look, I'm addicted to the game. And the thing is about Marathon, everyone, including me, hates it on day one. And it has an onboarding problem. Maybe your character needs a little more stamina for day one. Let me tell you what extraction shooters need. I agree. In his second game mode, this would go bonkers. This would be one of those examples of the way that zombies outgrew, like,

regular call of duty and like became it's a secondary studio. Do you remember wager matches back in like Black Ops? Yeah. Imagine you're playing Tarkov wager matches where you it costs $100,000 for each player to enter and then

you pay first, second and third. Third gets their money back, second doubles it and then however you want to break it up. Marathon has it starts on Friday. They're doing wager matches? Well, they're doing a ranked mode. And when you get in there, you need to bring a certain kind of card. And depending on your rank, bronze, silver, I'm in, I don't know all the ranks,

that card is more valuable to extract with like a better, like a higher ranked dog tag. Also, the gear you bring in has to be worth 5,000 space bucks, which is a pretty considerable loadout. I might call that 120,000 rubles, something like that. And, you know, so not like, a really high loadout might be a quarter million rubles, right? So there's the, I want to hold it in game mode. Like I want to, we're not going to play like the extraction anymore. We're going to play a free for all on a small map for kills. And, and the, and you can play 100,000 in your spaceway. You can play a thousand spacebook match, a 10,000, a hundred thousand.

You know, by end game in tarcough, everybody, some people have billions. Some people get to a billion. So you could have people, if everyone's chipping in a million, though, you had six or eight players thrown in a million. That would be fun. That would be its own other game mode that like streamers for sure. Like they all get to that end game of Tarkoff where they got infinite money. So it'd be fun to watch them play. And so many people would try, of course, on Wipe Day, when all you have is a million.

But putting your whole bank roll on the line to play one of these. Like, it becomes really exciting to watch and play. Because I play so much, I don't have any friends to play as much as me. I do these fill lobbies. Dude, if you spawn with a free kit, if you don't have a mic and especially both, your life is worth. less than me. I came up with the slur for freak hitters. I call them freakers with the hard R. And

if there's some no mic freaker loading into my lobby and you die, suck a dick. I'm going to hide in the corner for eight minutes after they loot all of your shit. I'll res you because I'm kind that way. And you'll come up with what you come up. I'm not risking my actual gear when you

freakered in here, you fucking scumbag. Did you want me to put my $10,000 kit in a 1V3? Because you're garbage ass freak it in here with no Mike, you're worthless. You're less human. You're ruthless. So be human freaks.

That's like how that's how Pol Pot would play. One thing you brought up earlier, the stamina thing. So I haven't been able to play a lot of marathon, but I've played some of it. And I noticed that when you load initially and you're broke and you don't have

any, that stamina is the most depressing thing. It's like they don't want you to run on the map, just walk. Jumping might as well be a crime. sliding is like a war crime. You do like two things and you just overheat. And I'm like, do I have the most unfit runner on the planet? I like that.

I like that. Does it get better? Like at least margin better. You'll be able to upgrade that by like a third in your first couple hours. Yeah. That's even a little faster than I like. I always go back to Tarkov because that's my goat. But, you know, I'm the guy who puts in that 100 hours.

in two weeks or whatever and suddenly my character I feel like should be a little fitter than yours. He's been running a lot. You know, 50 miles a fucking hour or something like that sometimes. So like make my guy a little fitter,

give him a little more stamina. That's one of the get up faster. Between Marathon and Arc Raiders. Like in Arc Raiders, by day two, you're pretty well set, your character. You've got the running down

and the mantling's a little quicker. In Marathon or an end, Tarkoff. Like some guy that's been grinding this for the last six weeks has a noteworthy advantage over the guy who's been grinding it for four days. Yeah, I appreciate that a lot. But I definitely recognize that these are different games for different groups of people. Like Taylor hit it on the head with like Ark is the perfect dad game. The perfect game for like the 40 year old dude who gets the game five hours a week, not five hours a day.

Yeah, listen to you subhuman freakers. marathon. You don't even belong here. Not on my team anyway. And the other team, you're welcome. Every time I play Arc Raiders with them, because they're all way higher level than me. Like they want me, they're texting me to play after this, and I'll probably play with them. But it's funny

where they'll like, look over there. See that giant spider beast? That giant spider robot. And I'm like, wow, we probably couldn't take that yet. And they're like, well, it's not part of the game yet, but it's coming. It's coming. Like, okay. Like, neat. You know,

They're getting to the point now they've played enough that like they're talking shit, which I don't like being in groups that talk shit because I am useless. I am so unhelpful in first person. I would chime in. Hey, I'm with them, but I would never talk shit to you, gentlemen. I like the way you move. I like to cut of your jib over there. If they go down, maybe I go my separate way.

I'll immediately collaborate. I'm getting out of here alive. I'm there on a free load out. They just kill me for fun. they steal my that that one gun that has like the tube underneath like that piece of shit like light ammo gun the kettle yeah the kettle they steal and I'm like you're not getting like down and my guy's crawling and then some guy comes over with a hammer and I'm like you're not gonna get anything from this fuck you and then they just they kill me and I I can never tell

it I think that's just what they're getting off as and I can't I'm not even mad at them because I'm picturing myself in their position where it's like, yeah, that would be fun. Like, that's just pub stomping. Pub stomping and all the cods was awesome. It was crem de la crem in cod four when you got put in a noob lobby and you go, oh, this is a new blobby.

Red dot class on the M16. Let's just cause mayhem now. Host advantage in cod for was so big. Like I played a lot of cod and got above average, but when I was host now it's woody time it's woody time right now on host the gun sounds different

yeah it does only use me blade used to do this thing where when it was searching for a host he'd upload a video to YouTube nothing would be suitable right his pings were terrible across the board so it'd make him host then he cancel the upload and play yep

I also did that thing I never heard about that you guys seem to only use me blade update recently he lost his toes. Yes. Yes. It's sad. He didn't lose them. He knows where they are, but while they're no longer attached to the way

they're much. How much of his foot did he move? They put them in a jar. They're putting my toes and Gwyneth Paltrow's candles. Morty. Does he have a prosthetic foot to help with walking on shoe fitting? He's got enough foot left that he can

walk, I believe, just not with great dexterity, not that that was happening before anyway. It was a real shame because I didn't meet Blade a whole bunch of times, but the times I did meet him, he was affable, friendly. I had a great time hanging out with Blade. There was no red flags or anything, and it's just very sad to see the path that his life has taken him down.

That's true. In 2015, he was a great guy. I think he's made some pretty big mistakes along the way. It's hard to stand up for those. I'm proven, but yeah. Same exact thoughts, Woody. Like, you know,

it seemed like he made some poor decisions along the way. Clearly, like, drink way too much and he'd just get blasted. Some of those streams are hilarious. Like, if you go back to when they're on that motorhome, and they paint his face like Pepe to Frog, but they don't use face paint. They use fucking spray paint.

And he wakes up and he's been spray painted. And it's like, dude, people are graffitiing you. You've got You've got to pull back on the alcohol. But whenever I met him, like, went on two or three trips and he'd be there at like Pax Prime or something in Seattle. Just a ton of fun, very chill, very friendly, like not a mean bone in his body, just wants to hang out, get fucking drunk, get high, and just have a good time. That's all, every experience I've ever had with him. I can think of one that's perhaps less good, if you would like for me to share.

It involves blade sharing pictures of other people's private parts without their consent. Well, you can't do that. Yeah. That's largely frowned upon. I've seen like a few. There's a whole montage online of like bad things he's done. You know, yeah, I'm not going to stand up for any of that. But all I can speak to is like every time I was with him, he was fucking.

barrel laughs. Super charismatic, dude. Any time someone drinks a lot on camera, I worry for them because to me only use me blade, paved this road. And now if your content involves like drinking every night,

I hope this works out for you. So we, Drifter last week we did our by decade drinking episode. Not even that coming. Not even that. Are three times a century drinking episode and I think Taylor drank like four how many 14 I think I had 15 or 16 beers bankies

5% alcohol 12 ounce beers I drank a pitiful eight or nine Woody was drinking this he drank he drank one of those what do they call voodoo ranger he drank a voodoo ranger which is like two of like the beers we were drinking it's like 10% alcohol and it was a big and it's bigger too yeah so it's like two and a half three like regular beers in one and then he was sipping this pink stuff that was like a like a vodka drink of some sort of So afterwards I was I was okay like I was a little I was a little dizzy after the show and I like I usually don't drink that much at all I maybe have one or two beers occasionally like for dinner and and so I didn't feel great I went straight to bed Taylor very hungover like the next day and even a little more the day after that is rough

woody shat blood that can't be healthy yeah oh you're you talking huh you throwing trip deeper

huh you're looking at you're looking at the middle that's what years of not drinking will get you maybe maybe that's the missing link

grab yourself a bankie see if that seals things up for you my doctor's like oh we're looking at your laps God damn get this guy at vodka martini stat. Yeah. Yeah. I said it on the on PKK for people, but my wife the morning afterward was like,

or I guess after, you know, the afternoon after when she got home was like, how are you feeling from that fall? And I'm like, what? I fell? And she was like, yeah, in the middle of the night, you like aggressively rolled out of bed and like hit the ground hard. And I was like, I have no memory, but I'm not sore. And then before I showered after working out, I like was looking around, big old bruise on my, on my hip. I guess I hit the ground hard. Dude,

you're lucky you to hurt yourself badly. Like, I'm very fortunate for that. But then also the next night, like after that, obviously, I, we were going to bed. And I was like, where's the remote? Because I want to put on one of my like falling asleep shows. And I was like, I wouldn't have misplaced the remote for my TV in the bedroom. It was like cast all the way into the corner of the room.

There was a bowl of popcorn upturned. At some point I must have also made popcorn. I was hoping the remote looked like a, what are those things? A steamroller went across. You just flattened it with your hip. No, just everything, just mayhem over there. Upturned popcorn.

I have no recollection. I thought I just had, I made, as soon as the show ended, made oven pretzels, drank my coconut water, drank my body armor. I'm like, you're being responsible, you're eating snacks, you're filling it up, you're preparing yourself for the next day. I'd be up pissing all night. I had no memory of making popcorn. I must have, though, because the bowl was there and it was completely empty.

Of course. I'm curious, though, so you say you notice this the next night. So the bowl of popcorn set upturned in your bedroom just for a day and you didn't notice. well no once i'm like up i i leave my bedroom i get up go pee take my morning shower and then i'm out of the bedroom wasn't until i came back in that i was like there's a little bit of mayhem in the corner of this room he leaves his bed and when he wakes up drifter and he doesn't return to it until the night time i understand the joke that you're going for here very obviously but i mean you just you would think that you would notice a big popcorn bowl sitting in your room like no that's the usual occurrence there's always a popcorn pole bear this one you know what's embarrassing

is there is often a popcorn bowl in my room because I like to make popcorn and take it into bed. Okay. And then I salt it. I'm not putting butter on it. I'm just, I self-pop the corn with my air popper and then flip the machine over and get that there. You have a dedicated air popper. You have a dedicated, like, carnival style popcorn machine.

Well, it depends. It is aware. I used the air popper. I have an air popper and then I have the kind that sits in the corner of the room on wheels. You have multiple dedicated popcorn machines. Correct. But if you want to be lower calorie, you just air pop it. If I'm feeling a little mischievous, I'll use the one in the corner that looks like a carnival one,

where you have to put coconut oil in the top and then add the correct amount of popcorn, and then you turn it on and it like, you know, boils over into the rest of it. But I was obviously in my drunken state, like, you've already had enough calories. Just have the air pot. Yeah, after 2,400 calories of beer, maybe the light corn. So at night, you have a little bit of popcorn. to end your day. Is there like a gummy involved prior to the popcorn that might necessitate the snack?

Sometimes. I guess I'll clarify that to often. But there could be. There might be a little bit. May haps. May haps. But that's the healthiest late night snack option available is the air popped popcorn with just salt on it. But the problem is that you have to put.

put so much salt on the popcorn to get to make it look like or to make it even a little salty because once you finish the popcorn, the bottom of the bowl is just a pile of salt. You have only like 15, 20 percent. If you use butter, it's different. No, I just use popcorn salt. I've tried the butter of popcorn salt and I'm not a food. No, no, no, no, not popcorn salt. It's like this brand of popcorn flavoring stuff. There's buffalo chicken. There's butter, of course. There's, um, There's like, I can't remember what the others are. There's a cheese. There's a cheese one.

And it's like powdered cheese. It has almost no calories. Like when I was cutting weight and I would, sometimes I would, for my carb calories, I'd make a double bag of popcorn because that would and make that my 300 calories of carbs. Because like 300 calories of rice is nothing. It's not filling at all. So I'd eat like a giant bowl of popcorn with my tuna or whatever. Anyway, like I hit it with like a quick spray of oil to like make it a little sticky and moist. and then sprinkle it with that buffalo chicken stuff or the cheese in particular.

And then it's really good. It's got MSG in it or something for sure. I barely have to put any salt on the popcorn that I make in my real deal, like freestanding one because I use coconut oil to cook it. And so the amount of salt you put on there actually sticks. But when you're making air pop popcorn, no oil, no butter, 15% of the salt you pour actually sticks. At the end of it, there's just a literal pie. of salt at the bottom of the bowl.

Because none of it will stick. This is Colonel Seasons. Classic popcorn. I know Colonel Seasons. I can picture it in my mind. These are good. Garlic Carbichon. It looks like the

really good. Master Race, dude. Yeah, but butter is the only one of these that I would like. I guess I'm a popcorn traditionalist. Like salted caramel, no thank you. I'm looking for savory, not sweet. I'm right there with you guys. Popcorn, excellent evening snack. Like, if I'm going to eat something

after I've had a gummy, probably going to be popcorn. It's actually filling, like, because it's nothing but fiber. And so you can eat popcorn and feel a little satiated, whereas with a lot of other snacks, like if you eat pretzels or pretzels or pretzels or were they the first people to popcorn? Probably so, right? Because it's where corn comes from. I don't think popped corn was their preferred method. Were they popping corn on?

I bet they popped corn. What's amazing. Yeah. My bet is that the indie. not only popcorn, but invented it. I'm talking about those First Nations, you know, dirty red savages North America. I would also

wager that's true that I would wager it doesn't look like the popcorn we think of today. I imagine it's probably a lot. It depends how far you go back. It would be much crudier. It over like 10,000 years. It went from like that was right. Although there's also some evidence

of like Peru and Mexico, like you know, same time. I guess too. Roughly right. It's roughly Native American. Yeah, Meso-Mexo-Americans. Yeah, the whole gamut. Cool. Like, they were doing it.

But it wasn't making good popcorn. Because we've got this, like, maybe they were. Genetically improved corn that's just for popping. I'm imagine them, like, frying it and, like, bison fat or something like that. And it having, like, a, like, a meaty kind of thing to it. Maybe even, like, mushing it up then and, like, making some sort of a paste. I don't know.

I bet they'd be good stuff with it. Well, Carmore. What if their civilizations collapsed because they can never figure it? figure out how to make good enough popcorn. No, that wasn't it. It was the smallpox. Probably. And those guys showing up

with their fucking conquistador helmets and guns. That didn't help. That's another one. That didn't help one bit. Well, that helped some of them. The ones that didn't like the asswoods helped them. For a little while, I guess it helped them. And then they're all Mexicans now,

so we know how they got helped. All right? Like, like. Well, there's varying degrees of Mexicans. You can see the difference. And like, you look at like Antonio Banderas, He looks very European to me. And then you look at like that guy I hired to haul away my garbage last summer.

Yeah. He looks like proud foot from Apocalypse. Well, that's just who has more, that's just who has more Spanish admixture, right? Or European admixture. You got the Antonio Bandaris. You got the AOCs who are way more European than like Mesoamerican. And then you got like the Guatemalans who are more, I think, Amerindian.

So they're like shorter, mature. Yeah, my papa was from Honduras, and he was like five foot four, five foot five, and like very brown and like sturdy. Yeah, they're a thick folk. Yeah, not a lot of European in him, for sure. He talked about like catching tarantulas as a child to sell at the market. They were so poor. Like, who's buying tarantulas? I was about to say, who's just buying tarantulas?

What do you do with a tarantula? That's horrid. You take the stick, put a little bubble gum on the stick, Kyle, and you put it down the hole and you stick to the tarantula. What are you doing with the tarantula? Or you tell him at the market. That way, it's a white tourist, I don't know. I guess so. He was a tarantula salesman back in the day.

He became a cook on a fishing vessel that made its rounds through the Gulf of America. And he was like, the captain was so mean to me, Kyle. He was so racist. me name, but I make his coffee every night. I piece in the coffee. You know, I'm quite sick of this fellow pissing in my coffee. Make another cup, Elizabeth. Oh, God, it's got a little salt in it. The problem is he's doing way too much. It's obviously not coffee. Yeah, well, you're a papa. So, yeah, you're Irish and no, no, no. He married my, my grandmother after she had had her family. Like, it was like a late.

in life marriage. They got married in like 50 or something like that. 40, 50, something like that. They got married. And like she had had two husbands prior to that who were white dudes and they were both like a very abusive. Like she was forever deaf in her

left ear. Because one of her husbands slapped her in the head so hard it ruptured her eardrom. Oh, that's a big slap. Yeah. Obviously she already didn't listen. I didn't help things one bit. her two prior husbands were these abusive alcoholic white dudes so she got her a brown man she could bully she was definitely the boss in that relationship

like like she dictated everything I think this is once again you hating your heritage you call the Mesoamericans you call them savages which I mean they were Stone Age when people showed up but you also you rip on the Irish the old luck of the Irish You're largely Irish? I hate the Irish.

I can't help that I am Irish. It's like 60, 70% Irish and like 20. The way you say it, I can't help it. If there was something you could do, you could just go and get the Irish DNA pulled out and replaced with something else. I absolutely would. I'd want more of the English and maybe, maybe. The English, have you seen the English? They look worse than me.

The English are solid. They had that empire. Pretty cool. Their accomplishments are solid, but in terms of being attractive, oftentimes they're lacking. I'm not looking for genetic structure here. I just don't want the heritage. That's all. I don't want any part of that nonsense.

It's pretty lame. Dude, if I were Irish, my brother's test didn't say we were Irish at all, but I'd be all in on like St. Patrick's Day. I'd be, if I were like 4% Irish. What? They didn't help us in World War II. They didn't have the capacity to really help, did they? They were even a little.

They were like coming off of like eight centuries of being fucked with. I could have gone from emotional support. Didn't they? Didn't Scotland join in World War II? Scotland was part of England because we have the United Kingdom and then Ireland is its own separate country. It's an island. But then there's countries in the country. I.

Nobody knows how the United Kingdom works. Wait. So it's, it's, they make it up whenever you ask him. England. Wales and Scotland and Ireland are the United Kingdom but Northern Ireland isn't

part of the United Kingdom Northern Ireland is an island at the Isle of Man get out of here we've all seen the meme we've watched the 20 minute video that breaks this shit down with maps and figures and experts we're not going to even touch on that I hate that subject I don't care I don't care

they're all England's There's like five England's as far as I'm concern and it's on that island over there to the left of Europe and that's all I need to know and it's recent that like England thought that way because like Winston Churchill

would go to Ireland and be like swarthy apes that's what's crazy about European racism I've traveled in Europe a little bit not a ton but you really can go from one country to another like driving across a state in the US and the way

obviously language and stuff changes but the way everybody looks and smells just like changes radically. Like they're very, what's the right word here? Almost genetically balkanized from region to region. And they dislike each other. Like everybody dislikes the French, the French dislike the English, the Germans dislike, I don't know who probably the French again or Belgium or whatever. And the Spanish just like the French.

I just find it fascinating because American states don't work that way. If I drive from Texas to, I don't know, New York, people mostly look the same, maybe a little skinnier. But it's not like suddenly everybody has different faces and different hair color, you know. It's because we've been like mudified. And so like, oh, that's so many. Oh, man. That hurts my feelings. It's like there are a ton of Germans here or Germanic people from like, you know.

The world is sensitive about our lack of being a purebred. A bunch of Italians, bunch of people in particular has been used before. A bunch of Scots, or maybe not a ton of Scots actually. I don't know where the Scots settled down here. Everywhere, the entire South, the Scotch Irish are the South. That's us. We're the country. Oh, you're right.

Because I know I read an article years ago about how the Scots were big on fried chicken. That was one of their big, like, to-do dishes. And I guess the English, even back in the day, we're like, look at these fucking savages, frying their chicken. and they're like, don't tell them, it's fantastic. A lot of southern food is lazy. They conquered the world and stole everybody's spice and then used almost none of it in their food. Yeah, yeah, that was good of them.

That was good of them. I don't understand how English cuisine has still not seemingly evolved in the 21st century because every time I see, we're not going to harp on the full English breakfast, but we know them beans don't belong there. We all know them beans don't belong there. And if you're eating blood sausage, in the 21st century

and you're not some sort of historical reenactor clearly you don't have a full range of options I think it kind of looks good everything in the English breakfast looks solid other than the beans fuck the beans that's absurd starting your day with a giant plate of beans

no wonder they lost the empire I just imagine like everybody at work at 10 a.m. is just farting it up in the office but the mushroom part I like the mushrooms you know what the meat As you think about like an American breakfast, though, it's kind of dessert sometimes. Yeah.

C pancakes, waffles. You can literally put ice cream on waffles or whipped cream. It doesn't seem like real food sometimes. I'm anti-sweets for breakfast. It does not set you up for a productive day. No. You want eggs and bacon and toast, maybe a biscuit, biscuit and gravy. That's something.

But even then it'll be it. Don't throw the gravy on like the deep side. does because they put a ridiculous amount of gravy on there. I like that salt is gravy now. Certainly we all have a little oatmeal to get the blood out of our schools, right, boys? Right, a little steel cut, huh? What's your goat meal?

I'm a blueberry oatmeal kind of guy. Jackie makes it for me and she crunches up some nuts in it like pecanes and cashews and I don't know, almonds or something. And there's crazons in it. I've never been big on oatmeal at all. It just doesn't, it just doesn't taste like a lot. The way I like oatmeal, I turn it into a pudding. Like I put so much butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon in there that now I'm eating pudding lately.

That's how I like my oatmeal. I like it to be a candied, buttery, like soupy, delicious thing. Remember the Quaker oat Insta oatmeal packages that would have like cinnamon or caramel or apple? And that was breakfast dessert. Banana nut red was the good one. Banana nut oatmeal. I would always claim those. I'm a big banana guy.

Cinnamon was the good one. Dude, banana nut bread, anything like that, I'm all in. That's banana. That's banana. Everyone's going to agree with that cinnamon was a win.

A dime a dozen, sir. I'll tell you what else. I also like banana nut crunch cereal. I would always bet it was more expensive. It's like $5 for the small bag in the 90s, but I beg my ability to, please.

Not frosted flakes. Not corn flakes, not cocoa puffs. Give me that banana nut bread. She'd always like, Yeah, of course. I'm the only one who'd eat it. It's delicious. How did you handle all that artificial banana flavor?

I don't think it's artificial. There's chunks of banana in there, and there's almonds and obviously like flakes. And I think there's a little granola clusters too. It's really fucking good. And filling. The oatmeal part sucks, though. I'm talking about the cereal, the banana nut cereal. Like that was my go-to cereal. It's really tasty. I like bananas. My mom would shoot me down every time I'd want cereal. as a kid at the store, I'd be like, get me boo-berry, get me count chocula, get me, uh,

and she'd be like, no, we're getting this like brand horse shit. And then I would just never even eat it. I just have an enormous glass of, of milk. When I was a kid, we had the same bad cereal. Sometimes raisin brand, oftentimes total. But I put so much sugar on it. You liked it. I turned that shit. The frosted flakes is like, slow down, buddy. You're adding a lot of sugar. And then I drink the milk at the bottom or the syrup at the bottom. That's like you're like looking down and slowly moving down. You're like, yeah, I want to know the slurry.

Dude, I used to do the same thing because we would do like sometimes we just have corn flakes. And I'd be like literally three tablespoons of sugar on my corn flakes like three heaping spoons at least. And then I would do this thing where I put the spoon at the bottom of the bowl and use it. like a mortar pestle. I sort of grind, dissolve the sugar and like to disperse it into the milk. It's candy.

That's how I start. That's why I failed algebra, mom. Jesus Christ. How about a fucking blueberry muffin for once? How about a little brain food? It is also something that has a lot of sugar in it. Yeah,

that's also sweet as hell. I would be asleep. I would be like drifting off in class. I never, I always stayed up too late. I always have. I like way too late before class and then my breakfast was going to be a bowl of sugar. So by 10 a.

I'm playing the education system. They should have motivated you the same way they do dolphins. I agree. Oh, dude, I had a couple of baddies late like at school. I would have, I would have perked right up. I wouldn't have failed anything. Mm-hmm. We had some good-looking teachers.

My mom didn't make breakfast for us that often when I was a little kid. But I would have like a glass of, I would like chug a big glass of milk. sometimes before I left, but I never was, I never fretted in grade school because I knew my boy, Tim, shout out Tim. I know he listens sometimes. He was on Ritalin. And so I was, I ate two lunches, two lunches for most of grade school because he would go, I get in trouble from my mom if I don't eat my lunch. I need to bring home an empty box. I don't want to throw it away. It was a handpacked lunch. It was a handpack lunch. So I would eat my entire lunch and then I would eat his entire lunch. Tell me about his lunches.

It would be often ham sandwiches, chips, and then like a banana. And it would, he was a... Like, like, nice and thin sliced or that cheap stuff that's in the hamabas slices? I didn't have the knowledge to know, but I knew that it satiated me. And he was, he was, there was a little bit of cheese in there. Romeo? I disliked that it was American cheese sometimes. But also, he was a picky eater.

And so I would never get any sort of kind. condiment on his sandwiches. Why wouldn't you make requests? Why don't you tell your mom you'd like a little spicy brown mustard? You're experimenting. Tell her, tell her you. She would know.

Mom would know. Tell her you'd actually like two sandwiches tomorrow. She would know because when I would go over to play at his house, it looked like I could have been his father. I was enormous at that age. And he was a very small kid. grew into a normal size guy. Now he's jacked as hell.

you know, doing well. But yeah, I was always set with two lunches, mostly, and I would get his milk. And that was solid because I, my mom signed me up for double milk. You could either do single milk or double milk. And she would get me. And so I'd get two milk cartons for every launch in grade school. And then he often didn't like his milk. No, I was straight up regular milk. Occasionally I would have have chocolate. But my mom like drew a line where she was like, how does she know what kind of milk you're drinking? Because you would get a chip and they would give it out to you based on the chip. You don't reach into that cooler full of milks? No, I never stole milk from the cooler.

I was... Well, that's how we got ours. As we went through the line, as we went through the line, there was like an ice chest-style refrigerator, like a silver one with a... It was full of milks and there was like a whole section of chocolate and there was a whole section of vanilla or regular, not vanilla. And then sometimes we'd have strawberry milk, like, but rare. Strawberry milk. We never had that.

But yeah, the chest was in the same like sort of conveyor belt line of lunch. And so the lady standing at the food was there and the lady standing at the milk was there. And she would allot you the amount of milk based on the poker chip you had, which that is literally what it was. They would give you like a blue poker chip if you were a single lunch eater or like a red poker chip if you were a double lunch eater. And I would get my double lunch chip and then eat my double lunch and then eat my friend's lunch. as well. So how wide were you during this time? I was a big kid.

Like I wasn't that, I guess I was fat. I guess I was a little fat. Not crazy fat. I still played sports and everything. I just had an insatiable appetite. Like there was, I just ate constantly.

It was kind of normal for that age. Yeah. A lot of teenage boys just. He was an enormous child. Yeah, I was a big kid. I was very, I was very, very broad and wide,

even as a child. And so when you played all, you played center, right? Our football team in high school, or I didn't play in high school because my hockey team made us, they were like, you can't play on this team unless like you devote to year-round hockey. And I liked hockey more than the other sports. But middle school, I played football. And our team was so dog shit that I had to, everyone had to play multiple positions. But I was the biggest cornerback in the league.

I was, I also would play line. I also would play offensive line sometimes. I also was the kicker in middle school. And so I did the extra point kicks. I remember my coach, shout out coach. He was like in middle school. He was the cool coach. He would like smoke cigarettes and shit while we were there.

And that made me feel more adult for some reason because he was smoking cigarettes. And I'm like, he respects us enough to smoke. Siggs. And people who spoke right in my face. And like one practice, like early in the season. He's like, we're trying to find a kicker. And he was just like desperate. We had like 17 kids on a whole football team. And he was like, all right, we need to find a kicker. And we all just like, he had us like line up. And he would hold it or maybe he had a kid hold it that he knew couldn't kick. And then we'd all go do it. And I like, everyone was missing. And I nailed one.

Complete dumb luck. Retarded luck. It was not because I, was good. And he was like, all right, we found our kicker. And then our first real practice, he was like, all right, we're doing extra point practice. Everybody line up, this and that. And I was back there. He explained to me that you take like this number of steps back, this number of steps to the left, and then you run and plant your foot kick. And I was like, okay, like I'm athletic enough. I can do this. And I missed so many kicks in a row that he came up to me. And I will never forget his distinct exasperation. when he looked at me and I'm like a kid and he was a big guy.

He comes up to me and he goes after like 11 missed kicks. He's like, Taylor, what are you doing? And I was like, I've never done this before. Like I don't know what I'm doing. Do you want me to be this or a guard or a wide receiver? I played wide receiver also. I got one touchdown in my whole middle school career. And it's because I was so big that the kid.

across from me was easily even in helmets a head smaller than me and i just caught it and i felt him on my leg and i was like not a problem i just he was just a little kid i just kept running i got one touchdown ever i'm so proud of it to this day shout out alex our quarterback and he was only given the duty of quarterback in middle school because he was like six three in middle school it was astounding. He started balding when he was 14. Have you ever been part of an activity for just no one explained to you like what was going on? Yes, that. Yeah. That's my entire football experience in middle school. I've told the story before, but my coach was literally retarded. He was a mentally impaired man. He had been hitting the head with a baseball bat in an assault

slash accident that went too far like a year before they thought he was going to die. He like had massive head trauma and then he came back out of it and he went back to coaching way too quick he would forget things and say odd things and just be strange and like the assistant coach would kind of like like he mostly just blew the whistle and like told us to hustle a lot and i'm not kidding taylor i never my dad doesn't watch sports so i had no sports i never watched a football game before i don't know what this sport is like i i'm basing it on like like the Looney Tunes carcane. You're going blind. I have no idea what I'm doing out there. I think I was on like the defensive line and I remember like one day being like I'm supposed shouldn't I try to get

the ball from him? And they're like yeah, that'd be great. I'm like, oh, that'd be easy. I just move past this guy. Like he can't stop me. Like no one had explained the rules or how to keep score or like what to do. I was just there. And I'm talking about like a whole season went by. And I know how to play football Not like your first weeks. I was just out there like up against another kid. Like we were pushing each other. And I thought that was football. Like no one explained shit to me.

They weren't throwing me any balls. Yeah, there's not a lot of passing in the middle school game. A lot of runs. I think about I think back about that. And I'm just like, why did no one like tell me how to play football? I hated football for that reason that like I didn't fully understand. and I was playing too many positions to know what to do. This is not like I was a ringer.

I was one of many kids being forced to play many positions. I was not good at any of them. Linebacker was the position. I remember despising. Every time coach would put me in at linebacker, I was like, you son of a bitch, fuck you. Like the other team is going to run a sweep,

and I am too slow to catch up with their quick kid. And so I'm just going to have to run knowing the whole time, You'll never catch him. I will never fucking catch this kid. I did like being on the line, though, when he explained. He was like, Taylor. He's like, Taylor, you're a big kid. You just take your hands. You put him like this. And you hit the bottom of his shoulder pads.

And you drive that up into his chin. You bash his chin with the bottom of his own protector. And I was like, okay. I love the line. I would occasionally run over a kid. and then not know what to do where I was like, what's next? And it was like, oh, after you run that kid over, you run after their fast kid.

And it's like, all right, well, the play's already over for me. Because there's no chance I can catch the fast kids. I'm slow as fuck. Football sucked. And every time you felt like you were getting in the groove and you were grinding, whistle, end of the play, everybody slow down, go back.

And all that momentum just like dropped to zero. it felt like. It must have been... Hockey was better. Like, it must have been so awkward just to watch us play. Oh, God. There's no way, because I didn't know where to go.

Someone must have been pointing to where to stand. You didn't get to watch tapes of your own games? They never made us do that in middle school. We only documented things that wouldn't be embarrassing in the future. We've taped my baseball games. Those are on VHS somewhere. I bought big time. kicks like in big games for extra points or field goals because he'd be like you're the best we

have taylor and i'm like that can't possibly be true and like i'm like hitting it off the helmet of someone on the defense i'm just so ill-equipped it was so embarrassing i could get returned yeah and i would just want to run off to the side and hide and then he'd be like no uh you your linebacker now and it's like wow i can get humiliated again because I guarantee they're going to hand it to that black kid and he's going to burn me. I'm way too fucking slow. Sorry, Dr. Go ahead.

Yeah, that's all. I was I played football for middle school and throughout high school, though it was for the Mississippi Private School Association, which so you can just say it's the rich white boy league, so it's a little bit different. Believe it or not, I was the most aggressive player and earned the nickname Killer, and they would play me on defensive line or end.

I never learned hardly anything about football with the exception of you smash the guy with the ball. And that's all that I did. I was a little skinny guy. I wasn't super big or strong. But they would put me at like a nose guard, like right in front of the center. And they trained me to just get faster and faster. So when he would snap, I would just try to like zip in between all the big guys and like sack the quarterback or whatever it is I could do. and it probably was not good for my health, fun topic,

but I played super aggressively. I closed line people, headbutted people, just smashed as much as I could from seventh grade to high school. Very weird times. I remember the biggest hit I ever got was on my own teammate. My own teammate, the fattest guy on the team, defensive lineman. He had grabbed the quarterback, and somehow this little skinny quarterback must have had legs like tree trunk.

would not go down. Big guy could not knock him down. So I'm coming around from a defensive end. And I can see this happening. And this is my opportunity. My name is killer. My job is kill guy with ball. I am going to hit this quarterback as hard as humanly possible.

So as much as I can, full like head and shoulders down, we are going to slam jam this guy. Quarterback somehow tree trunk legs manages to move just enough to pull my obese teammate in front of me. So instead of hitting the quarterback, I nail a 300 pound friend of mine and literally send him like helicopter, like legs and arms out flying. We watched the tape back the next day. The joke was it's proof that pigs can fly. The coach had awards for people, and he gave me an award, there was a like heavy hitter award you could get for hit of the game. They gave me hit of a game on my own teammate. It was one of the most embarrassing hits I've ever done.

in my entire life. I mean, at least you were called killer. I didn't have a nickname. I remember I'll do the ads after this, but in middle school, because I didn't play in high school, I only did hockey in high school, but we had this big fat black kid named Marquise be our center sometimes.

And before we ever played, I always assumed like he's big and fat, he must be strong as well. No. He was not a good center. And he was also like the worst guy for morale on the team. Like if we ever lined up, like we'd be in the huddle and he'd be like, man, we lose it. Like he was just to say shit like that and like rip on us as a team. And I always wanted to be like Marquise. Like come on, man. Like I thought his name was Marquis for a while. But he corrected everyone. He goes, because it was spelled like Marquis. But he's like, no, it's Marquis. He had a horrible burn.

burned sometimes as a child. His ear was like melted to the side of, uh, to his face on one side. That upseted me. I didn't like seeing it. I don't know what it was, but, uh, but he was very funny. And I, I enjoyed him as like a, a verbal guy. He was a good locker room guy, but on the field, man, just useless. We had a melted kid too. Was it grease, I guess. Yeah, it was grease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody spilled a pan of hot grease on and melted him. Oh, my uncle was like that. Has, It looked like sloth from the goonies. His head was all sunken and burnt. Yeah, it's pretty rough.

His ear was all like, like it was still there and all, but you can tell like not as much as should have been. And, you know, it's the side of his face was all melted. That was a real sad kid. I felt sorry for him. Well, that's a, that's a huge downer. But you know what's a huge upper? Bluechu.

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So pay the extra 10% and support us even more. Patreon. And the Patreon, check out the Patreon. Meet us at the end of every month where we play games together, chit-chat, have a good time. It's always fun. I always enjoy it, especially when I win. Do you guesser? Would he will screen at someone, whether he plans to it?

not. It's part of the show at this point. What do you will scream at someone and I will desperately try to return us to a state of harmony? You can imagine there's 25 people. Like 25 fans are in this room. We do multiple

rooms because there's more than 25 total. It's a thing. And for like four hours we're sitting in this room with 25 video cameras and you know, everybody wants to, especially if you're new and you just paid 50 bucks for this thing, you want to chat to your, Taylor or Kyle or Woody or whoever

and like people talk over each other and that's fine but then they talk over Woody and it's like he's only going to take like two maybe three of those and then he's coming for you who taught you to fucking talk who taught you to use a fucking microphone

what is your problem you come here to fuck with me today because I'm in no mood to be fucked with junior like he'll have a full-blown angry man It starts like this. They'll be like, hey, Woody, I have a question for you. I've been putting like 6% in my 401k, and I don't know how that's it.

And then some fucking 19 year old jackass will answer the question based on his minutes of nothing. And it's like, just shut. My name is in the question. You fucking retard, you social retard. What is wrong with you? He's clearly talking to me. Do you remember when we had an Israeli tank command? in the call.

And we're asking him questions about Israeli tanks. And then Captain dumb fuck punt is over there like interrupting the Israeli. I'm like, hey, how does air conditioning work in an Israeli tank? And then asshole over here is trying to tell me about it. No, we all want to know what the Israeli tank commander has to say about tank air conditioning. Not your dumb ass. He's in the tank right now, homie. Like we can hear it blowing.

And as this is winding down, I'm always like, all right, guys, the clue is Appalachia. If you're even average at Geogessor, you might pub stomp in our group. I swear, the rankings of who wins and loses is a random number generator. I occasionally hit the top five and I am proud of myself. I am so garbage at that game. I frequently am literally the bottom of the list. I'll be like 21st or something. And I'm like, I hope nobody keeps scrolling all the way to the bottom.

I routinely embarrass myself. And I say anyone who finished worse than me should be ashamed. Until that one time I got second and there's like 24 people below me. And I was like, yeah, you should all be ashamed. You lost to me. And it's frustrating because sometimes I feel like I'll have like a clue. Have you ever played a geogess or drifter? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So you'd probably kick our asses. But occasionally you get placed somewhere. It seems like there's a disproportionately high amount of Southeast Asia there, like the Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam. And occasionally you'll see like a language where you're like, that's all squiggly line Asian, but it's not Chinese, Japanese, Japanese, Korean style squiggly line Asian.

And then fish or someone will be like, yeah, you guys notice this is Thailand? And it's like, fuck, fuck, dude. You ruined my one advantage. God for fish. There was one time when it was like, it was one of those islands off the coast of Greece, like Crete or something like that. And, and fish, and everybody's struggling. But in the background, you can see a little Greek writing. And I had noticed it.

And I'm like, okay, I need this. I need to beat some people this round to like not be embarrassed at the end of this thing. And fish goes, I'm not going to give it away, but think Greek. And it's like, everybody's just clicking. fucking Greece immediately. Like everybody was within 75 kilometers of each other in Greece after that. It blew in

I went from Utah to Greece with my guess. That's when I almost go Woody mode is when they I feel like I have a secret. And someone will be like, I don't want to give it away, but Opa! And it's like, fuck you. Fuck you. No. That's what Woody mode is.

Dude, we have a good time in the hangouts. I've traveled a lot. And almost every picture I'm like, shit, that looks just like the soil in Nicaragua, or that looks just like that time I went to Japan. It works against me. I never get it right. It's never actually Nicaragua or D.R. wherever. I'm awful. I'm awful. The only time I've won the few times is all on the back of my policy of if it looks like Europe, but also like Georgia or Missouri or North Carolina, like very forested, I click France.

no matter what, I go France. And that usually pans out. I guess France is the greenest country in Europe, is it? It must be based on there. England? I think southern France is fairly green and I don't know. I just know that's where they do farms.

Terrible at the game. I would rather play like animal guesser. Like show a picture of an animal. And I guess where that is, that'd be fun. There is a race-based gasser. That's way easier. It called like ethno-guessers. Ethno-guessor.

It's not well developed, but they show a picture of just like some dirty brown person on the side of the road. And you have to figure out, oh, my God, that hasn't helped at all. Like, I could be anywhere. I'm worse at that than geogessor. Wow. I'd rather have to run hell up in there doing that advanced. You know, they'd show like a penguin. It'd be in the fucking Philadelphia Zoo. I'd like that.

Show me, show me animals. Dude, showing animals in a zoo would be the hardest thing to guess of all time unless it says like the city of brotherly love next to it. The little curveball. Do you remember I took a picture of an animal for you during the eclipse and you got it? Do you remember what that animal was? It was one of those weird African antelope, like a kidnu or something. I had never heard of it. I was shocked.

You knew it. You nailed it. If there's a goofy animal, you can kind of narrow down. Like, less developed. They're still allowed to hang out, do their thing. Maybe Africa, maybe a less developed area. of South America, Southeast Asia, but you're never going to, yeah, Australia.

Australia is frustrating because you'll see a giant road with fucking nothing, and I don't know the rules of because you'll see that one guy, Rainbolt, be like, I can tell because the ballards are weird and the number, the spacing between the lines, but so many times, I'll click

like Australia and it ends up being fucking southern Argentina or something. You're talking about the Okapi. So far away. The Okopi is the one with Stripes. on the backside, right? Yeah. It's got like zebra ass and it's got, I think, short horns. Even as you say that, I don't know if that's like a Kenya thing or an Australia thing. I would guess like a Kenya.

Africa. Yeah. I think that is Africa for sure. But Africa is gigantic. Although like I think of it is Texas. Texas is great. Like I don't know if you've ever driven or gone to one of those wild game ranches. They've got more. A lot of times the majority of the like I bet there's more of those in Texas than there are in Africa. Like there's so many. Texas has the, uh, Hogs from a helicopter experience. You can get an M-60. You did the hogs on a helicopter? I was being sponsored by them.

So I got like multiple days of like free anything I want to do from two different hog hunting companies and did like thermal stuff and night vision, like drive-by stuff and trucks, lots of helicopter stuff, all sorts of stuff. That's a... I saw deer in my backyard yesterday. I sent you guys a video.

and I was like, I wouldn't want to kill those deer. Like those things are beautiful. I really had no, I didn't want to kill them at all. When I was a kid, I'd have been like, I would want to kill those things. But with those pigs, they show you a video like before you go out in the helicopter that's about how evil wild boars are in Texas. They go over the economic damage to neighborhoods. They go over the disease.

They go over the damage to agriculture. They explain that it's an invasive species. It's a cross breed between Russian blackboard and domesticated American pigs and they got out into the wild. And pigs do this weird thing when they go into the wild. They very quickly, like, feralize. They kind of de-evolve. They get like much bigger, toothier, hairier, and much more aggressive within just a single or two generations. Like this pig that started pink is now black and hairy and mean.

And so like by the end of that video, I was like, let's go fucking kill them. Let's go fucking kill some people. I want you to feel bad about shooting little piglets. Didn't feel bad a bit. Like they were the enemy by the end of that video. I was down. Speaking of pigs, I want to pull this in a different direction. How many of you saw the Afro-Man trial?

Oh, that was very funny. I like that guy. I watched the whole thing. I'm a big fan of, I mean, I guess I like Afro-Man. I love that song back in the day. But several years ago, of course, just for everybody's benefit. basically his home got raided by his local sheriff's department and the warrant said narcotics trafficking and kidnapping and they like broke his gate down they they knocked his door

completely off the hinges and he's got a full home surveillance system so this is all recorded and they don't know about it at first the officers going into his house and and um they they stole money out of his suit jacket pockets they're uh they're like going through his CDs and all the pockets in his clothing and like going through all of his shit. And, and then they cut off the cameras. They, like,

disconnect all the cameras. So he makes a rap video about them. I think, I can't remember what it's called. It's like, are you going to pay from my gate or something like that? Are you going to fix my door? I think it is.

Something like that. It gets millions of views. And it's the footage of them raiding his house. And, like, one of the fat cops is, like, clearly eyeing his pound cake that's on the counter. He's like, you want a slice of lemon pound cake.

It looks like you want my lemon pound cake. And he's just going through, like, showing them stealing money and just, like, making fun of and mocking him the whole time. Well, they, I don't know. Were they at the wrong address? Is that how that happened? No, no. They're at the right address.

They find nothing because he doesn't have anything bad in his house. He didn't kidnap anybody. But they've done all this property damage. They've robbed him of his money. And so he makes a rap video mocking them. They sue him for defamation. He makes more rap videos. One of them is called Lickham Lowe Lisa.

And it's the member of the sheriff's department, this female cop, she was the one who disconnected the cameras. She is a big husky gal with an incredibly deep voice. Like Dr. girlfriend voice. When you hear her voice, you're like, whoa, that's, I. That's new to me. I've never seen a woman with a voice that low who wasn't like a steroid freak or something like that. Like China, the wrestler, she got a weird voice toward the end. So it's Lickham Low Lisa.

And the whole music video, he has a woman who looks enough like her in it. And he's fucking her and dressing her up in lingerie. And she's eating another woman's pussy. And he's saying that she's got a dick bigger than his. And it's 13 minutes of mockery. A music video. Like a slice of pizza? Yeah, all sorts of shit.

And like I said, he's accusing her of being a lesbian, having a dick, and having a sex change. And so she's in court in the deposition and in the, in court. And they're playing that video for the court. And she's crying. She's bawling as this video plays. And she's talking about, like, people, I drive through my own town that I police, and they holler at me.

Lickablo, Lisa. Flick them loz. They call me a dyke. And she's going on and on about how mean this has been. And then there's another cop. And he's the one who stole the money. His name is Randy Walters. That was mental.

The deposition, especially when it came to his brother and sex crimes. Yeah. So Afro-Man accused this guy of being a PDF file and had some things to say that I initially was going to say, hey, maybe that's actually defamation. You probably just can't call people PDF files, right? And then it seems like his family has a serious problem with touching kids. The attorney keeps asking him, so was your brother ever convicted of a crime? He's like, I'm not sure.

I think so. I know he had some legal problems and we kind of went our separate ways. It was like, do you know if the charges involved minor children? He's like, maybe it's not really my business. And he's like, and ask him, well, was your brother's crime posted on the front page of the town newspaper? And it's like, well, yes. yes it was and the same guy said that he was slandered by being accused of being a thief and then on cross-examination the other lawyer says so in this other area where you worked didn't you get

accused of stealing money from traffic stops didn't you get accused of like stealing people's drugs when you pulled them over and all of the stuff that afro-man was saying that you would think is like real slander was seemingly true and i loved the uh the fucking the guys wife. It was like, what is it? Can I interject a little? So it's it. The line goes, Randy Walters is a son of a bitch. That's why I fucked his wife and got filthy rich.

And so it's slander unless he might have fucked this guy's wife. And the guy's like, I guess it's, he on the stand, he's like, I guess it's possible. His answer was, they asked him, did Mr. Foreman, his aframan's

name? They said, did Mr. Foreman have sexual relations with your wife? And his answer was, I don't know. And he thought that was going to help him because it was hurtful. But since truth is an absolute defense against slander and it's an interpersonal thing that people can't like prove, it actually sunk his claim to the bottom of the ocean. Because he said he doesn't know if Afro-Man really had sex with his wife or not. It was so fun. They argued about whether it was defamation to call the son of a judge.

Because the, and the lawyer on cross exam says something like, I mean, maybe your mother was a, maybe you are a son. of a bitch. There's really no way to prove that you aren't. And the cops like, well, she's dead. Well, really no way to prove it one way or the other. Then you might be a little bit. Dude, Afro-Man get paid for this? Because it sounds like he's been wronged. And I'm hearing he won a defamation suit, but that doesn't give him money. It was against him for four. They wanted four million from him. My following? Right. I don't know if he counters you or not. He's the victim. Well, he's getting tons of views. Uh, if he, I highly recommend y'all, go to his YouTube channel.

The Lickam Low Lisa video, like he has this woman, like this actress, I guess I'll call her, impersonating Lickam Lola Lisa. And she is a big gal, okay? But she's big in the right places. She's got a big old belly.

Look, don't make that face, Woody. I just hang with me for just a moment here. Just Alex Anald with me here. Just freak free range. Okay, okay. She's got a big old ass. Like it's not for me Too much for me

There's too much of her She probably weighs Two 50 270 even maybe Oh that's a 300 I got a time stamp here Hang on Let me let me

Let me make sure I Do it right So like you get a real good look at her Can we show this? Is it her butt I mean This is on his YouTube Probably limit that to a still

Like maybe paused I mean, at what point? My God, because when you get to like 12 minutes and 27 seconds on Lickham Loh Lisa, I mean, her ass, it's not for me. I don't think, I mean, his video is age restricted. I don't want to be. Oh, I feel you. Oh, yeah, okay.

That make, although there is also multiple scenes where Lickham Lola Lisa is eating like another woman's pussy and ass. Oh, that's terrible. What would the timestamp on that piece? You'd have to buffer through. I don't know. I'll do the best I can here. Let's see.

Oh yeah, here. Oh, yeah. Like, 340. Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, it's hilarious.

And so, like, this lady is, they're playing this video in court. And the, the real, Lickam Lolaisa,

she's like, people ask me, ask my family if I'd had a sex change. Like, they holler at me, look him low Lisa. And she's,

she's crying the whole time. And it's like, yeah, like, like, justice has been served. Afferman, of course,

is wearing He's dressed like Uncle Sam essentially. He has a full American flag suit. And he's wearing it in the videos too. He shows up to court wearing the same costume that he's wearing in the videos. It's God tier. Yeah. He even has like aviators that are like American flags.

I like reflecting like like lenses. It's I was so glad to see that he won that thing because I followed that since he released that first song. And like I it's like in my head forever when he's making front of that guy. Do you want to slice him? revived his career. Like, Afro man was kind of on his way down, you know, but after this, Afro Man is back in the news again.

Some of these videos have millions of views. Lick of Low Lisa is age restricted and has 400,000 views in six days. That's kind of impressive. I always thought of him as cool when Kyle mentioned the story. And I realized the only reason was because of that novelty song in 2001.

Yeah. I genuinely know nothing else about the guy. he's cool career like because because like I mean oh did you hear his attorney his like his attorney talking to being like what about this man dressed in a American flag suit in court makes you think that you should take anything he says as serious instead of parish

and it's like that's perfect he's obviously like a jokester fucking around and that's awesome his lawyer scared me I started watching some of this trial and I saw the regular, I'm scared for Afro-Man. I saw the lawyer, the plaintiff's lawyer, making the claim that was pretty normal. Afro-man's lawyer comes up. This dude looks like he walked off of a Louisiana swamp boat, threw off his overalls,

and put on a lawyer outset, like the most big, like, redneck beard you've ever seen in your life. And I'm like, oh, Lord, oh, no, this is not going to end well for Afro-Man. And suddenly he's articulate and smart and eviscerating people in a... Wow. Bigoted? Bigoted much? Yeah, right. He looked just like a big redneck, but he's a big redneck with a big brain.

A lot of rednecks are very smart. A lot of them are very smart. They just, you know. They just sound dumb. Dress a little odd. Space work, a lot of them. Hollywood has done poorly representing those rednecks and those country folk for a long time. I don't know.

Plenty of dumb ones where I come from. But it's not everybody. You have no accent. I trained myself. This isn't even my original speaking voice. I pretty much killed that. You and Kyle are similar in that way. Both of you are from the South,

and you both say you just chose, like, I'm not going to speak this way. Yeah, pretty much. Mine was two folds. First, I was monotone for a long time, like Moist Critical. A lot of them, if you go back in time to like my older videos, very dry,

very boring, very little voice inflection. And I didn't feel like that was going to last. So I started teaching myself how to influence, like normal voice because apparently that's not something I learned growing up or whatever. And then later I realized Southern probably wasn't the way to go. It made me sound stupid. So I just started trying to become less Southern. And over time, I guess the speaking voice and accent changed. It's certainly not in its original form. Though the higher I get, the more Southern I get. Like, I get really stoned and I'll kind of start drifting over toward like Boomhauer territory.

I feel it's sad to me that so many Southerners try to distance themselves from that because it's a cool accent. It's a fun accent. I never had that opportunity. I'm a midwesterner. And so I have the alpha accent, which means it can be understood by everyone. If you're from the Midwest, that's why all the newscasters come from the Midwest for the most part, because everyone can understand us. But the Southern accent is so cool. It's so nice.

It's warm. It's genial. Like it's a nice homie accent. Maybe if you're not familiar with it, when you're surrounded by it, it can be annoying. But at the time I was going into engineering school. And like, it was like a Jeff Foxworthy joke. Like you don't want your brain surgeon or your engineer to sound like a redneck. So I thought it would be better for my professional career to not sound like a redneck.

Like, yeah, we got to strap that rocket on it, you know. Can you drift? could you if you wanted drift back? Because I would imagine someone like you or Kyle would have fantastic like deep south accents. Kyle can. Kyle can for sure. If you put me on the spot to do it now,

my southern accent probably wouldn't be very good. It happens better naturally when I'm around more southern people. It happens like if I'm on the gun range or if I get really high or if I'm doing some type of reckless rednecitude, it starts sort of coming back. But on the spot, no, I think I would fail a Southern accent test these days. You've pushed it out. Yeah.

And I guess I'm also biased because my grandparents are from like Southern Missouri. And Missouri is one of those states, I'm sure you know, where you get further south from St. Louis where I'm from. And you get south pretty quick. And the accent's like developed. You can, if you drive from St. Louis to the bottom of Missouri, you can literally see the accent change, gas station. to gas station. Like every 60 miles, it gets more southern. And I always associate my grandparents southern accent. That's what it seems like because my grandparents speak in a very thick southern Missouri rural accent. Like all those people down there are Missouri. We up here in St. Louis and

KC. We're Missouri. We were the union. They were the federates. You know, they were down there. Just a nice little split, but I think that stinks. Like, the Southern accent is so awesome. It's so, so friendly, so amicable. I really, really like it. But I could see that if I was surrounded with it 24-7, instead of it being a flavorful addition on occasion, I might get a little tired. Yes.

And also if you traveled and were sort of stereotyped based on that. And you got to also remember that the accent is intrinsically tied and entwined with some pretty bad racism as well. Oh, fuck that. No, it's a regional accent. People make assumptions. That's Hollywood shit, dude. Like, there's tons of great people in the South that speak thick southern accents. Yes, there are tons of great people and there are tons of not great ones as well.

Sure. The sons are not great Boston people. Yeah, I've met a few of them. Boston is my least favorite American regional accent. I wish we still had transatlantic. That transatlantic. That transatlantic accent is entirely gone. It's extinct, really.

Wasn't that kind of fake to begin with? That was something. That was the TV. It was a little put on, but it was fun, you know? We were racist too. That's the old-time gangster, transatlantic. That's what they called it? No, no, no.

You're thinking of that. Yeah, say, you're thinking of that. But it's more like the Audrey Hepburn, like... To use a more recent example, it was more Nucky Thompson. And the guys in that show, they... They forced a lot of transatlantic If you did. Yeah, a few of the like Chicago or New York guys.

Yeah, I guess like, Chicago is a totally different accent. It's all nasally, which I guess is how I sound too probably, but. Not really. You don't have much of that. I like the Chicago accent.

I find it endearing. I used to watch that S&L sketch back in the day with the bears. Everybody would be a super bear. Yeah, that's an endearing accent. It's a blue collar accent. You know, they don't think, you can tell those people aren't going to,

going to think they're better than you. Because why would they? Then the further west you go, the less, I guess, distinct accent you get. It seems like the west was settled later. Like the west was settled by more and different groups of, I mean, we talked about, you know, mixing earlier. We had all the different Europeans come here. And then all those groups got their like regionalized state accents.

And then they all went west to the west coast and it all got mixed up. So there's an area here in St. Louis to this day called the hill and it's where most of the wops live. And to this day, like on their street signs, they put like Italian flags. And so you'll like be, you have to drive there sometimes because that's where all the best Italian food is because they're still there. And then you'll like get a waiter who has like an accent. And it's like, how isolated are you that you have an accent in the midwomen? West, that sounds woppish. America can be like that.

We still have native German speakers here in Texas. And if you're looking at like Boston, New York, and West Coast, you have a lot of Asian language-only communities. We're big enough and we've got the space and the people. We can have a lot of different accents. What about the high northeast? Is there like a distinct Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire accent that I'm just unaware of? do you guys know i've never heard it if they're it

you'd be the one to ask the ground the ground of sour like uh you're talking i like that guy from a pet cemetery that because that one is so hard for me to do is that a main accent yeah oh yeah yeah i don't want to go up that rod that ground is sour i don't know what you're in there new york main vermont etc just kind of a neutral accent like in the way that taylor describes

his area They come back changed. You know about it's a, I think I'm reading it. It's an O'Krokoak Island in North Carolina. Sure, I've been there. Do you know about the accent that they're famous for having? No. It's famous for its unique Hoytoiter accent.

A 17th century broke, often described as a mixture of Elizabethan English, Irish, and Scottish, largely due to centuries of isolation. It is frequently cited as the only American accent that is not immediately identified as American by outsiders. I watched a little, I don't know if it was a doc, but it was at least like a long YouTube video about those people, and they're interviewing them, and they're very difficult to understand. You need captions right off the coast of North Carolina. And they talk about how they don't want their accent to die out. and it's one of those island communities where you don't want people to leave and you don't want new people to come in necessarily.

I really want to preserve that hoit-hoiter accent they've got. When you hear them and you're like, are you sure this is North Carolina? Because it sounds like, I don't know, Welsh or something. It sounds weird, funky, English, Scottish, Irish. Like they said, it's bizarre. This is an awesome accent. We got to keep these guys around. In North Carolina.

Wow. Yeah, you can only get there by ferry, at least when I went there, that was the case. It was a while. It was like an hour-long ferry ride. I love regional accents, especially in America, but other countries, too. It's sad that kind of the internet and all these things have, you know, it's good in a way, but it's also sad that we've seen the dissolution of these really distinct voices that are fun to hear. I see where you're coming from, although that's not where I typically come from.

I'm usually happy, happy that like we've created a melting pot and removed some of the differences between us. That's where I come from. I see accents have lessened or something, Taylor? Is that what we're saying? Absolutely. Yeah, I think that people getting closer, you're absorbing content from people who speak more. Everything seems to be to be more Midwest. Now, more homogenized. It's a good word. But it's more, it's more coming to this like news speak midwesterner talk. And even that like southern midwesterner, not even like that Minnesota, where they kind of like, you know, Fargo style talk like a little, a little sillier, which is a fun accent as well. I just, I, it's sad to see the regional accents go. I don't like that.

I remember the first time I met a Yankee. And we were all like, like, like it like sounded so weird to my ear. that it was like, it sounded effeminate. It sounded weak. It sounded like, I don't know. We all just like our ears perk up when we heard this guy from Maryland. They still curbs stomped you in the great Civil War. Oh, dude. First of all, the war of northern aggression has been greatly altered in the history books.

As they say, history is written by the victor or as I like to say, the cheetah, the loser, the filthy union. the blue valleys who stormed their southern brothers land and raped pillaged and murdered, murdered. You know what you southerners typically call me, sir. Oh, well, that's just polite. You guys are just, you guys are scared. I forgot your rank in the colonial lives.

I mean, I'd do it again. You guys are rude as hell. I remember getting on Xbox Live for the first time and you're chatting with people around the world. Somebody from the UK heard my accent and called me a Yankee. And I didn't know that was like a generalized slur for Americans, which would have been fine. But I was deeply offended that I was being compared to, as Kyle says, an effeminate northerner. I was like, really? Yeah.

Do I really sound like that? That kid asked for a pop. We almost beat him to death right there. I gave him the black cannon. No. I'd never heard anyone say that in my life. The word is soda. We drink Coke.

So is what they say in the Northeast. That kid asked for a fucking pop. He was from Maryland. He was a lot of my class. I'm a lot of soda. St. Louis is the one island of soda within a sea of pop and Coke. Because everybody southern of us says Coke and everybody northern of us says pop. And you said Baltimore is like an example of it.

Have you heard someone from Baltimore City talk? Oh, I watched the wire. Of course. I love their accent. The wire made me laugh because I pay attention to the accents because I really enjoy that, that diversity of accents. I really enjoy that. And you hear the main characters like doing their best to put on a Baltimore accent. And then they had a police chief in like the first season or something come out who was actually from Baltimore.

And he gets up there and he's like, now guys, what you need to be doing? We need to be careful and make sure that, you know, we're looking at all the potential dangers. Oh, that's the white guy with the mustache. Yeah. Yeah, it's the white guy with the mustache. We was like, good accent. We need to make sure that the, you know, A lot of us are worried about these sort of things going on, but at the end of the day,

we need to make sure that we're protecting our community. And that's how like a thick Baltimore accent sounds. And we're losing that sort of thing. They hit their like, when a word ends with like two O's or the sound of two O's, they make it more of an EU. Yeah. Yeah, they like twist it a little.

It's interesting. I've been rewatching the wire recently. I'm on the final season finally. I love the wire. It's definitely up there in my like Mount Rushmore of shows. It's solid. It's not, people always say wire is better than Sopranos or at least on the same tier. I don't see it that way.

I think it's more. It depends on whether you like season two or not, because if you like season two, then I think the wire is more consistent than the Sopranos. I was not a fan of season two, so I think your theory is correct. Yeah. A lot of people aren't. On rewatches, it grows on you. I really like that Sabaka guy.

I like all the Polacks and stuff. I like Iggy or whatever his name is, the skinny guy who thinks he's tough and cool, but he's just a loser and blows his life. He died recently. I like that whole storyline. I think it's neat. And you get your first inroads with the Greek mafia or whatever they are.

I don't know. I like season 2 okay. It's definitely the weakest season, in my opinion. Because I like the last season too, the newspaper season. I like all that shit where they fake a serial killer so they can get more man hours to work their drug case. Yeah, that's a good show.

To talk about shows, are pulling a different direction. Do any of you watch Ted Lasso? We love it. Woody was all looking up. I just discovered that a few weeks ago and binge watch. Make you cry? It didn't make me cry.

I did enjoy it quite a lot. I thought it was a fantastic show for a lot of reasons. I thought it was funny. It was well-written, complex characters. It was interesting. It was a sports show that there wasn't that much sport action in. It was mostly about what happens in between,

with the training. And I did kind of get the vibe, though, that it was distinctly written for the female gaze or that it was written with women in mind a little bit more than your traditional sports show. You have a lot more female characters. You have a lot more focus on, like, growth and development and relationships. And like they talk about hot guys and stuff. My wife said it was eye candy. Though I liked how it ended, except for that horrible CGI Stonehenge wedding thing. And I'm mortified at what's going to happen in season four, because it was. looks like it's just going to be an all-female reboot, which we know everything except for bird down has been terrible.

I'm okay with that. I'm okay with the female reboot because it's not like it was like, I don't know, about the sports to begin with. It's about the interpersonal stuff. I'll tell you where it made me cry, two times when it made me cry. It's the very first episode when Ted gets back to his hotel room and he's been putting up this like so positive good guy. Oh, you want to spit in my face?

It's raining the day kind of thing. And then he gets back home. to his hotel room actually and he tries to talk to his wife from this transatlantic phone call and she's just not hitting it back like she won't say I love you like clearly you realize now that his marriage

is like on the rocks big time and he's just oh you don't have to say it back I just needed to say it like this pitiful moment of him like even he can't even get anything from her like there's nobody's all on his own and he tried to reach back home for just a little bit of positivity

and it's just extra negativity on top of your shit Sunday for the day. And I'm crying at that scene. And then a couple episodes later, maybe just one or two, he has been bringing his boss these cookies every day. And she hates him. She's setting him up to be fired so that she can, like, change the team how she wants. He's, she hired him so he'd fail, so the team would fail to make her ex-husband, like, sad.

Because he loves this football team. So she wants to make him a bunch of losers. Yeah. She's on a minute. She's turning. his team into a bunch of losers at a spite. He was the shithead in the divorce. None of that matters. But every day he brings...

Every day he brings his villain boss these cookies. And as much as she hates him and as much as she was trying to set him up in private, her private thoughts are, these are the best cookies I've ever fucking had in my life. Where do you get them, Ted? And he's like, if I told you that, I wouldn't be able to bring him to you tomorrow.

And it's just like, okay. And she's like telling her assistant, she's like, find out where these cookies come up. That would get me back in. He's running around town looking for these gourmet fucking cookies that Ted keeps buying on the way into work every day. And you get at the end of the episode, Ted's baking cookies. Yep. He's been baking him for her every day.

He's the master. He's been baking cookies for this woman every morning fresh. That show is so good. I cried. I'm watching a cookie. I'm sobbing. And like Jackie and I are like, this show is so much better than it has any right to be. I am so attached to these characters.

Their victories mean so much to me. and that's what makes me cry like it's usually about things going right you know they get a win something goes well and they get this their little moment of triumph that's it gets me it gets me when dude tore up the sign I was so mad

is it based on it is it based on the real team or no no this is a full picture so the premise of the show Taylor like the league is that Ted Lassso had had like a big ESPN moment when his like quadrupley Division two football team was

won the big game. And they had like been a shit team the year before. And they called it like the lasso system or like he turned the lasso way. He had turned the lasso way. And like they had been this viral dance where he's like dancing and doing silly stuff in the huddle with his whole team celebrating the win. And it's so enthusiastic. It goes big time viral. And so to take down her European soccer team, she's like, let's hire that guy. Let's hire an American football coach. and that's the gag that he doesn't even know how to play the game he doesn't know the rules. What a bitch.

Yeah. Well, and she's played by the nun from Game of Thrones, the shame. She's that big bitch. She's pretty hot in real life. She's actually got big tits, I found out.

She's like six. Yeah, they're all just playing the show. She's statuesque. She's a very good looking lady. I'm into her big time. Her big tits come out in the show? No,

not a nipples and such, but there's a lot of bra. a lot of she wears like tight skirts and tight blouses every day. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm telling you it's the most heartwarming, genuinely pure show I've watched in forever maybe. It's just a goodness. And you'll come away at least at the end of each season with this like positive vibe

that I carry on for hours or even days after I watch that show. He's so good that I, it makes me, want to be gooder for him and be a little bit more like Ted Lasson. Is it Andy from the office? No. No.

What's his name? It can't be Michael Dukakis. It's Jason Sudecats. His coach has kind of a serious talk with another assistant coach about when Ted Lassow gave him a second chance in life. And we don't know this backstory. I think this happens at the last season. And it is heavy and it is wonderful.

And it was another one of those moments where it was like, how is this comedy so good, so impactful? It may be by a dartboard. I watch that dart scene. I don't want to spoil that dart scene because it's fucking good. I rewatch it. It's on YouTube.

It's fucking good. And I'm like, I want to play darts like Ted Lassow. I'll be a better man if I played that. darts like Ted Lassau and I'm just a little bit more like him. He's the best man you can imagine. So they tried to make him a fool and then against all odds, he is not. He doesn't mind being made a fool up because he's so self-confident and so positive, but not in that fru-frew kind of way, in more of a like perseverance through anything.

I'm here to do this kind of way. It'll all turn out for the best because I'll give my best. It vibe to me that he didn't mind being a fool because it was never about. him. It was about everybody else and it's like, yeah, I don't really care if you think I'm a wanker. I'm here to make him not a wanker. And he just, everything was just water off a duck's back for him.

He's here to win. He's here to build. But then you see these private moments where the, where that facade cracks and you see like, oh my God, he's, he's getting shit on all day from every angle and he never fucking there is a scene where he like, like he shouts and screams and it's very

emotional. Like when he finally has like a thing go on. It's a great show. Can't recommend it enough. We recommend it the first time. I watched that first episode, and it made me so sad when he does that phone call with his wife and everything that I didn't watch it for months.

I didn't watch episode two for months and months. And I was bored, and I was like, all right, let's try this one more time and just binge the whole thing. It was so good. It's so good. And one thing that we're not talking about much,

because we're talking about its quality. It is genuinely funny, too. we're talking about drama and character moments and stuff I laughed a lot in a good way there was a lot of it that was just plain funny so it's in the modern ecosystem of media it's probably the most wholesome thing that I can recommend to anybody like if you want to watch something to just

feel good and not the boys or something grim like that you should watch at Lasso that is a very good before but I love this fact there's one character's name's Roy Kent. And he plays like a big tough, almost like a soccer enforcer, if such a thing exists. And you're almost like, how'd he get cast for this? Because he's not really a big tough actor. He's no Jack Reacher. And it turns out that guy is the writer. And they weren't sure how to cast it.

And he's like, hear me out. I think I can do this. And he got the role and I really enjoyed him in it. So I didn't even know that. I like him in that role too. The only the only character I don't like. and I would almost fast forward, that big-headed chick who's supposed to be like an influencer supermodel. It's like you aren't even like... Like she wouldn't be the cutest girl

at a dentist office. Is her name Juneau Temple? I don't know. She got a big old forehead? Keely Jones? Keely Jones. Yeah, that's her. I hated Keely Jones at first,

but she does grow on me as the season. She's got a forehead like those, that alien creature. Yeah. They're just like they're dragged. They got the seven heads or something. She's got fucked up teeth. She's got her.

She wears her hair often like pulled back really tight. And it really exacerbates the whole giant forehead thing. And it's gross. And after a while, you're like, I think she has a receding hairline, like a severely receding hairline. Oh, my God. Zach, you are the worst. Why would you show me the, and here she is playing Barbie. Is this not even the same show?

There you go. Reinforce my point. We talk about people looking different. That's 10 out of 10 in London. So I watched a girl on YouTube who wore her hair like that. She liked it pulled back because as she got older, it kind of like just pulled a little of the wrinkles out. You know, a little of this to de-age her. Well, anyway, that gave her a receding hairline.

So it's a far her hair line goes back. Like it's a thing girls do. It's up here. It's up here. Like if she would, she'd have wrinkles on that forehead if she didn't have that hairstyle. I'd rather have a wrinkly forehead than a giant forehead. She looks like predator. Yeah.

A yowke. That's the name of that species. Spilling over. Oh, well, then she was like the, uh, oh my God, alien what? Alien earth. Anybody see alien earth? I watched two or three episodes. I got, I got a little upset with it.

Oh. why were you upset with it? I'd rather enjoyed. I don't know. It seemed a little ridiculous. And I know that's saying something because we're already watching an alien movie. It's about xenomorphs and shit. But it just seemed absurd. There was a lot of weird stuff going on. I felt like the way that they were like communicating between the aliens and the cyborg people, that was weird.

And I just wasn't into it. And I like Timothy Aliphant a lot. Like he's one of my, if I see him in something, I'm much more likely to watch it than otherwise. But like three episodes in. maybe four. It was just kind of goofy. And I lost interest. I didn't go back to it. And I watched everything Alien and Predator. I wasn't even mad that there was a lot, so many, like, you know, it's got that diverse

cast and think the girl is kind of the star of the show. That didn't bother me at all either. That, um, I watched that Predator animated thing. They did a while back. Did you see that? It's like a three-part thing. I'll look up what it is. And then I watched Predator Badlands with like Elle Fanning. That was good. I like that a lot. That was, and I also like prey.

Often have female leads. Like an alien is almost supposed to have a female lead, right? I think every one of them does. Almost all of the Predator movies have had a male lead. It was Schwarzenegger and then Danny Glover. And then they did some AVP stuff, which doesn't really count. Actually,

one of the AVP movies had a black female, like main character. She was a one of the one with a queen alien out of a president. Yeah. Oh, Val Fennonning. She's the one with a huge. Huge ass. Dude. She gets...

Huge fan. It's a good... She plays like a... I haven't seen a movie with her in it, but yeah, nice. She plays a machine lady in this who's had her legs ripped off. So the predator has to like carry her around piggyback

the whole movie. And she's like hanging on to his back being kind of like cutesy and cracking jokes. And like the predators are like, it's good. It really is good. So since you're a predator fan, I'll offer you my opinion.

I think Predator 2 is probably my favorite Predator movie, even though it fails on some technical points. And it's, I know the original is classic. Predator 2 is so goddamn fun to watch from start to finish. With Danny Glover's fucking chest high pants, everybody sweating all the time in the future Los Angeles of 1995. It opens up with more violence than lethal weapon. There's people getting skinned.

There's voodoo gangsters. It's ready. Yeah, but it's got all these great scenes. Like the predator doesn't kill people that aren't warriors that are unarmed, right? Yeah. And the predator jumps into like New York subway and scans. And every single person from the old lady to the businessman to the child are all packing guns. So the predator's like, oh, this is the, this is the hunter train and just starts killing everybody.

killing everything. There's so many stupid fun moments in that movie. Even if I get, I get, I think Predator 2 was good.

Predator 2 stands on its own really well. It is my second favorite predator movie. The first one is just such a classic. You got Jesse the Body Mentura. You got Arnold Schwarzenegger,

of course, two governors right there on the, on the quasi A team. Shane Black's on there too. And then Apollo Creed, space on his, Carl Weathers is there.

Carl Weathers is so fucking jacked. And the behind-the-scenes stories are really. really good. Arnold was such a big star at that point, like 91 or whatever it was, that he would make the studio, like, bring his full gym with him. Arnold Schwarzenegger's full gym would go on an 18-wheeler or a cargo plane or whatever they needed to, and they're filming in Mexico. So they're in some jungle in Mexico with a full Arnold Schwarzenegger gym, and they're competing. They're all, like, tough bodybuilder guys, so they're kind of competing and, like, one-offing each other the whole

time. Jesse Ventura would show up at 4.45 a.m. at the gym and immediately douse himself with his whole water bottle. And then Schwarzenegger walks in. He's like, he doesn't know how long I've been there now. I could have been there for hours. Does he know I was a governor? And the seal. I was a frog man. Technically, it was before the forming of the Navy SEAL. John Paul Van Dam was the original predator in the suit. Like, Jean-Claude was in the suit.

Most of his scenes get edited out. Some of the Invisible Predator is still him. And they make jokes about him. There's like this weird French martial artist that's walking around telling, I don't want to be as a monster. I'm going to be more famous than all you guys. And they're just like taking the piss out of him too. Yeah, they fired him.

And then they switched the like the look of the monster. And they got that really tall, lanky black guy to go in the suit. That those effects at the end when Schwarzenegger's like duking it out, the predator. It's like, that looks real to me. That looks like a monster man. Like, like, it was totally. It was really physically there. It was all really there. He's really like seven feet fucking tall with that headdress on and everything. Do you remember when Jesse Ventura was sued by Chris Kyle? I do. I do remember that. I think, uh, did he knock out Chris Kyle in a bar? I think Chris Kyle fibbed about that. He was a known liar and fibber and a bit of a bit of fibbery there.

but he said that he said that American soldiers were heroes there and the Marines overseas were heroes and then Chris Kyle claimed that Jesse Ventura of all people was like ripping on soldiers and making fun of them and being like they're fags I don't like them and it was like no that's not the kind of thing that he would say ever

and then Chris Kyle died RIP, you know, he was still a good sniper, even though he made things up about a friend of the show, Jesse Ventura, which I was not a fan of. But Jesse Ventura is funny. I wonder how much of Chris Kyle's achievements were exaggerated. None of them.

That's all, like, he has confirmed kills. Like, it's not, it's not him just coming back to base and saying he did a thing. He has all those, he has the most confirmed kills of any American sniper. He did all that stuff. Most of his sniping was like close range raid support. So he's not like on a mountain top somewhere by himself most of the time. He's in an urban area with them. Like they're seeing the stuff he's doing.

He seemed to fib or maybe he, I hope he was fibbing. He said during Katrina he was shooting looters. I remember that. That was a big one. Yeah, I would imagine that's a fib. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

But his achievements are undeniable because they're all confirmed kills. But he was ripping on Jesse Ventura for no reason. It seemed like they were drunk and in a pissing contest because Jesse Ventura really likes to stand on that Navy SEAL thing and Chris Kyle got really popular, really fast. And I think that people like to ask leading questions and pick fights between people. Do you know how Chris Taylor will stand on anything?

I remember as soon, like the very week, he was no longer. I'm sorry, go ahead, Drifter. I said, you remember like a week or two after he was governor, Jesse Ventura suddenly has a show on the history channel. I've seen classified government files. Let's talk about aliens. He will stand on any achievement that he can as long as he possibly.

I saw them. And it's like, okay. Well, maybe not, Jesse. But the way that Chris Kyle died, he was taking a mentally disturbed veteran to a shooting range. And it was him and another one of his, Chris Kyle's friends in the front seat and it was this guy in the backseat

who was mentally disturbed. They were trying to like cheer up, a fellow veteran. It was like a thing he did. It was for a charity type thing where like these were all PTSD vets and they were meeting like a hero. You know, like Chris Kyle was a real celebrity.

For sure. Like it's a good cause to do that. But there were also text messages from Chris Kyle to his friend in the passenger seat. where he said like, this guy's crazy, watch my six. About the guy in the back. And apparently there was no six watching

because that same guy got a gun and then killed Chris Kyle. I mean, they're all the shooting range, right? Like, all you got to do is turn to your left. Yeah, but like, that's a pretty, that's pretty horrible way to die. Oh, that's horrible, yeah. I just don't blame the guy watching his six.

Like, I could have pulled that off and I'm not special. I think that guy got shot too. but I don't know if he died. I don't recall. I do want to say that one of my local friends here was friends with that group and that was a shooting trip that for whatever reason he opted not to go on.

So I guess he picked a good day to not go to the range. That's the extent of the story, just friend of a friend apparently. Hey, that link I sent is that predator show. It's called Killer of Killers. It's animated. It's really fucking good.

I want more of it. It tells more of the like Yautja clan stuff and it focuses on three different groups. This is animated. Yes, it is. It is animated. It's quite good.

If you're going to be a predator fan, like you should see that. I like the Badlands movie. At the end of it was a little goofy, but the story on the whole was like cool and I like the stuff it showed off. And I like the prey. I like prey where they went back

and the predator fought. Native American chick. I like all those movies. But yeah, the Predator 2 is definitely my second favorite one. I was going to say Danny DeVito, Danny Glover. I like Danny Glover in action roles. I would have loved to see Danny DeVito and Predator 2. That would have made it so much better.

Instead of Bill, what's his name? No, not Bill Pullman. No, not Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman's the president in Independence Day. We're talking about God. He was in aliens. He was in Terminator. He's the only guy to be killed

by an alien, a predator, and a Terminator. I know. I always space saw it on his name. Bill Paxton. Yeah, Bill Paxton. Yeah, the Bill Paxton's character. That could have been Danny DeVito. That'd been funny. He's all sweaty and he's hitting on the Latina check and she's like grabbing him by the nuts. Like he'd have played that character well. There's like a crazy weird like sex scene

where there's a prostitute fucking the guy before the like voodoo posse comes to gut them all and skin them it's a good movie the voodoo posse is fucking cool Predator too Is Independence Day a good movie or do we just have fond memories of it?

I think we have fond memories of it That's a good question We have fond memories of it Now there are moments in it that are quite good I think that that whole scene of Will Smith Like pissing and being like Neighbors are leaving town they can't take a little quake.

He's like shaking his piss off. And then he goes outside to get the, get the paper and he looks up and he sees that big ass city-sized ship. That's a cool scene. But man, that Jewish father character is so cartoonishly over the top. And then the gay character, I got to call my lawyer and I got to call my mother. All these diuresteins who you're talking about.

But the Jewish guy where he's like, you would have been dead with a lawyer. without my son David. Talking about your wars, like your things, my son David comes in. He solves this for you. And it's like,

dude, this is somehow offensive. I find very offensive. The presidential speech, you know, about it's no longer the Fourth of July. It's no longer American independence as the old. I forget.

I'm going to mess it up. Yeah. That is one of the better speeches in cinematic history. The Fourth of July will no longer be an American holiday. And at first of you, like, oh, you'd be the day that mankind stood up. And you're like, oh. And they pan the camera around.

And it's a bunch of guys who look like Vietnam vets with like American flag bandanas and shit like that. Everybody's the rag tag army that you've got the guy that is flying a crop duster is now flying like a me or something. My son, David. I said, David, Wade,

Randy Quaid, good old Randy Quaid. I son David showed you that. the aliens, they're USB compatible. The whole reason. The dog jumps away from the fire in slow motion. It's so cornball. But when you're like 10, you know, all that's amazing.

I was, I saw it in theater. I remember specifically like seeing that in theaters in Tocowa, fucking Georgia and being blown away. I don't know how old I was, 8, 10 years old or something. I definitely remember at that time, like us going outside, maybe like, and me telling

my dad, like, that's the best movie I've ever seen. That was, that's my favorite movie now. I loved every bit of it. When Will Smith punches that alien and says, welcome to earth, and like, we've been getting her ass kicked for the last 35 minutes. And Will Smith just got one,

he crashed that fucker. He's like, yeah, that's right. I'm gonna pile all your friends up right next to you too. He goes to there, cracks that capsule open, the thing comes up. He punches it. It's so, silly to punch it that you laugh and cheer at the

same time and he says welcome to earth and then the next time you see him he's dragging it through the desert dragging your sneaky ass through the desert he said welcome to Earth 50s no no person saying welcome to Earth

welcome to Earth fucking Earth I think that's what he looks at the superstar like he rap career is doing great fresh prince is popular Independence Day just took him to the next level. And then following up with bad boys was pretty great as well.

Yeah, Taylor's never seen bad boys. He was the man. He's quite a lot. I've seen bad boys, but I've seen fresh prints. And I liked him more in Fresh Prince than Independence Day. He was good in Fresh Prince. There were some like heartfelt episodes. It was an awesome show.

It's a pretty good show. I watched a lot of black TV growing up. It was slightly worse than Family Matters. Family Matters was the crem to the cram of black. Family Matters gets bizarre. bizarre in later seasons because it becomes a terrible show. Like the Key and Peel skit where they make fun

of it like it is so on point. I haven't seen every episode of Family Matters, but that was the show that I remember looking forward to. I'm like, all right, I just got to grind through this full house and then I get Family Matters. Whatever happened to, predictability.

The milkman, the paper boy, an evening TV. The shit rocked. It was awesome. Yeah, I know. They're all programmed in my brain forever now. They'll never live. I was too old for it. Urkel, he was quite silly. Oh, Urkel was my man. What I didn't like is when Erkel, like, insisted that he had to come back as Stefan. I like Stefan more. Oh, God, Stefan was a baller. He could play. I didn't like that. I liked my man. He's finger banging fucking. What's sister name? What's, what's her name? The big sister that like Urkel was like always after.

That was going after? the buzzer finger bang that sister? Like no definitely not I'm just I'm just I don't think they had an episode It wasn't a show that had finger banged the I remember there was an episode Whatever

Whatever the oldest daughter There was an episode where the oldest daughter Like went on a date with the guy And then the guy went around school saying they had sex with her And then the big brother had to go like Threat him and like punk him out in the hallways I'm gonna make your insides I'm gonna expose your insides to the sunlight

You don't tell everybody the truth Dude I had no concept of impropriety when I was watching Full House as a little kid in the mid-late 90s. But even then there was a thought in my head watching Full House where I was like keep a... Bob Sagitt should be keeping an eye on

Dave Cooleyer. Like, what the fuck is going on? Why is this guy living in the basement playing drums? Not Dave, no, that's Uncle Jesse. You're talking about Dave Cooleyer. That was the guy that was... Was it Coleyer in the basement? No, he was the fucking puppeteer.

Uncle Jesse, I think, was like rock star guy, John Stamos, and then Cooleyer, he was the blonde, fuzzy-haired guy. Yeah, no, I don't remember, but I thought he was the one that lived, I thought he lived in their basement. Because Stamos was always cool as hell. They all live there. They all live there. They all live there. They all live there. They all live there.

They all live there. It's sort of the premise of the show. They all moved. Maybe I missed remember. I thought Stamos is cool. Dave Cooleyer was like, Danny's wife dies of cancer. And his two best friends move in to help him, like, get his arms around, like, raising a family in his own. That's the premise.

But Cooleyet was definitely the creepy one because Uncle Jesse was getting pussy. He had Lori Lofton. All day. Every day. All day every day with her fine ass. Cooleyer was a fucking creepy. He'd keep an eye. It was a creep.

And he turned out to be like a child entertaining puppeteer, which is like two more levels deep of creep. I would definitely not let him around. Do that actor get caught doing inappropriate stuff? No. No, no. We know about that. No, no. It was that dude on him.

It was that lady who was one of the aunts that tried to buy her daughter's way into some university. It was that pay-for-play scandal where they were. And then she had to go to jail for a bit. Yeah, she did. I remember that specifically. It was around the end. It was wild that she got prosecuted for that. Because like-

That happens all the time. It happens all the time. This is how wealthy people get their kids into Harvard. This is how Donald Trump got into the University of Pennsylvania. Like parents make big. donations on behalf of their kids and then their kids get accepted into schools and stuff. They even have a word for it.

It's called a legacy. Yeah. And then she does something comparable to that. And all of a sudden, like, she's the biggest criminal ever and admissions into these elite universities isn't fair. Have you seen a picture of her recently? No. No.

I bet she holds up well. Aging like a wine. Yeah. Yeah. You look like she would. Real solid. Yeah. Maybe they just wanted to make example out of her. You see Jessica Alba? Jessica Alba's like 40 something now and still

looks kind of the same. I saw that one coming. I knew she'd age well. Yeah. Jennifer Aniston as well. Not as much, but she's also like 60. Okay. Is she 60? Jennifer Ampton is a beautiful woman. She was never anybody I like lusted over or thought was like overly hot.

Like she's clearly she's the hottest chick on friends. That's fine. She's a beautiful woman. Was she though? that dark-haired bitch what's her name Courtney Cox really what order to if you're not yeah that is this a recent one Zach this is her like recently

she's looking tremendous I guess yeah I'd give her that I'm always been a Jessica Alba hater though since she didn't get topless in Sin City when the role required it she plays a stripper and she's like wearing a fucking top but I've been a fan of her since

Dark Angel back in the day she had this TV show called Dark Angel very good that's when she was like like seven eighths human one eighth cat and so she had like all these like cat like abilities where she you know acrobatics and strength and stuff but she would also go into heat like every season and become a complete whore it was a real problem it was a good show the thing about actresses that deliver on the nudity sidney sweeney right that's kind of her core competency she is not afraid to take the clothes off after that queen uh oh um

The Hunger Games chick. Jennifer Lawrence. She gets full bush. Yeah. I'm a big friend of Margaret Qualey. I think it's pronounced Qualey. Do you know Margaret Qualey? I don't even know.

I've never heard this name Margaret Qualey. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So she was, do you remember once upon a time in Hollywood? The jail bait girl who gets in the car with Brad Pitt? She's like,

you want me to suck your cock? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's her. She's a bit of a Nepo baby, but she was in the substance with the anymore. I'm going to say that's a great one. Demi Moore still getting naked in her 50s. Demi Moore still looks good naked in her 50s.

They put some fake tits on Qualey for that movie. She has much smaller boobs. But she's done a lot of nudity. Like I've seen Bush and like her tits and ass and all that stuff. So she's pretty high on my list of like modern, like current actresses. It's probably older and not that frequent. Hallie Barry surprisingly would give her in some of her movies. Oh, dude.

Not just swordfish and Monsters Ball. She's awesome. I've never seen Monsters Ball, but Swordfish. I've seen, I've seen about 30 seconds of Monsters Ball. And it's when it's when Billy Bob Thornton's balls are adhering to Hallie Berry's ass while she rises. They're going out of that movie. They actually fuck.

That's one of those where they did. Yeah. Billy Bob rules. That's famous. Extra Mile is what they call that when the actresses actual sex in a mainstream movie. Great subreddit. and I thought it's Monsters Ball

it's towards top of the list on that one where this genuine sex happening I always thought that if you had actual sex like they had to exclude like they couldn't put that in the film is that so so what the things that'll get you like an NC17 or X rating are things like erect penises and visual penetration so like you don't see penetration it's there's a moment where the camera swings around And again, it's not like, it's going before a board of people who view it and then make an opinion on it.

And then they go back and if it's like sometimes with gory horror especially, there's a back and forth negotiation that can be ridiculously pedantic where they just go blind by like, hey, maybe like instead of seven seconds of brains on the floor, there's only three seconds of the brains. And like you can have one more fuck. If you remove her titty being forcibly exposed there at like 56 minutes in. Yeah. Like it's literally like the, uh, the South Park six minutes or six days to air. Yes. Where you see that woman trying to communicate the episode where she's like, well, we're going to see the human centipede. There will be no fecal matter visible, but they will be talking into each other's ass.

And they're like, well, we can't do this and that. And she's like, all right, well, I need to give this report back to the, the boys, which has to be the funniest job ever. I think maybe when they rate it, they watch it. But then the internet detectives like zoom in, fix the lighting. And you see like the scrotum bag against the clip. And they're like, bro, this is dynamite. But it got past the sensors. I mean, that happened.

We were talking about other movies, like some of the like 4K upscales of like Terminator and stuff. You can see way more Arnold Koch than was originally intended. Oh, yeah. Is it his penis or is it a, oh, yeah. He hangs on. He hangs on in Terminator 1 and 2. Okay. I don't know how like the terrifier films

I know they're literally unrated and they have like a unique distribution they do whatever they want they are wild unrated means unrated you can do whatever you want but nobody can can you put that in theaters?

Yeah that's unrated made $100 million as unrated in theaters wow I don't know those are too gory for me like I really like horror

I've been on a horror binge this whole month I've watched at least two horror movies movies a day. That's not for me. Terrifier's not for me. Terrifier I'm not a fan of. I've been on a horror book binge recently. I've been reading tons of Richard Matheson, Clive Barker. Very good. Today I just got a bunch of books from Algernon Blackwood, who is a horror author who was like late 19th century to mid-20th century. I'm excited to read some of his shit because he's one of those guys that you you look at a Stephen King or a Matheson, a Barker, and they all talk about him as like, this was one of my guys, like one of my influences. I've got one on my

bedside table. I'm going to read you. Magica. Good reading ahead of you. For more books, did there is no antimemetics division show up on your radar? Anti-mimetics division. No, is that they... Super short. It's part of the SCP Wiki universe, whatever, they commissioned a book. And it's there is no anti-mimetics division. And they define an anti-meam as like a entity or a being that destroys thoughts or like a thought. If you have this thought, you will die. Or if you have this thought, it will delete other thoughts. And the anti-mimetics division deleted themselves from the register so they don't officially exist. So nobody can check on them because if you check on their work, it'll destroy other people's brains.

And who's the author? I don't know the author. I know the title. There is no antimimetics division because they just do, they study anti-memes, which is like info hazards primarily. That's cool.

I mean, the genre of book, I love the book. Would you say? The SCP Foundation stuff. I like that stuff. I missheard you. I know.

I know. That's why I said it slowly. I just don't. Maybe other people misheard you. I didn't want to get that cleared up. The SCP Foundation, secure, contain, protect. Yeah.

Okay. Well, that's what that. I mean, I always thought SCP was like, it's more like internet kind of amateur authors writing stuff into that. Okay. It is, but it's gotten so popular. It's got short films and its own media

and they're getting books and trying to get money for like a proper movie. And it's kind of like the back rooms is getting a movie. Yep. God, Skinnamarink was just a longer version of that YouTube movie. That is, the backroom's thing is such like a cool concept. I hope they don't botch it. That's neat.

And it's all from, it is literally all from a 4chan post. It all comes from a random 4chan post of one guy posting like, hey, be careful. Every once in a while you'll see this liminal space. Be wary. Don't let yourself drop into the backrooms. And then he posted like one picture.

And from that came this whole genre. The only influential thing 4chan is done in fucking 15 years. Pretty great. I'm not into the back. I don't know, man. 4chan kind of invented a lot of modern politics. It seems like every so often they pop up and have an impact on something. Okay, so do you think QNNN was relevant ever?

It was ever big enough to be relevant because that comes straight out of pole. I think it was mostly boomer bait where you told a bunch of people to be like, just trust the plan. Eventually, the house of cards will come crashing down the people you don't like. And it's like, no, this is this is got onto that. This is silly. There were government officials. Mike Flynn did the QAnon and pledge thing. It was all fucking weird.

Yeah, well, that's retarded. MGT was like hook line and sinker. Well, then they got God because it was... I mean, a lot of people did. It was relevant. Like, you know, Donald Trump talked to... Oh, no, that was 2016, wasn't it? So about a decade ago.

I never got into the Q&N stuff. There was enough going on without that. That seemed silly. It didn't interest me at all. Yeah. I don't know if it was silly or if there was a little truth to it. And, you know, maybe some disinformation, sort of informational false flag campaign just to, you know,

ridiculousize the very idea. that rich people have like children and adrenachrome and stuff like that so that then you can tie things like Epstein Island to that and be like it's all the silly stuff it's all that fake QAnon nonsense it's been disproven if you just stick your thing to that you make a you make a containment zone for schizos and then when they anytime they catch on to something that's real you just flood it with Q horseshit that's what the government did yeah when they when people were reporting testing test flights as UFOs, the men in black that would come and harass people. That was an official government program and they did that just to make the witnesses look more crazy. Oh yeah. The government is so despicable. Like if most people knew, we'd have a real problem. I mean, the Epstein files are public.

People know. Not all of them. Not all of them. No, not their own news. They choose their own truth. I mean, yeah, it's wild. Yeah, that is like. there are enough options that people can kind of fade in and out from their own desired reality.

If you're like on a Google profile or it knows your search history and location or the way you like to phrase things, it can be surprisingly hard to find counterpoints if you don't know exactly where to find them. For sure. Like in that the extent to which the whole internet was manipulated by people implicating those things is crazy. The most powerful and influential Reddit mod in the 2010s was Gleine Maxwell. Yes. The person who decided on R slash picks, R slash politics, R slash this and that, what was allowed to be posted and what wasn't was a pedophile collaborator on Reddit. In that position. Because it's constructed.

And Reddit's probably the easiest style of forum to have control in that way because it's so top down. Like if you're a mod on a powerful forum, you can just unilaterally remove shit. Like you can, you can just be like, oh, that's not a story I like. Bada bim, bada boom. It's gone. I got to do you. I learned about the first woman to swim across the English channel this week. Her name was Gertrude Ederley. So it's like 25, 1925 or something like that.

And she designs her own goggles, her own two-piece swimsuit. and then she covers herself in goose fat for insulation. And she's planning to make the 21-mile swim across the English Channel. Her coach, little did she know, had failed the same swim. Men had been doing it for a little while, like 20 times. And when he saw that she had potential to do this thing, he got jealous. And so they're like 10 hours into the swim. He's following along by boat.

And he's offering her an apple, but he's intentionally trying to touch her. If she touches his skin, she's disqualified. So she kind of sees something's up and like doesn't take the apple, basically. And it's weird. The apple falls in the ocean. She loses it. Then later on, he offers her some tea in like a bottle. Like he drugs the tea.

No. Thugs her when she's close to like being the first woman to swim across the English Channel. She gets lethargic, almost loses consciousness. They have to take her out of the water. She gets a new swim team. back the next year, 1926, and swims the English Channel successfully. At one point, she had to swim through jellyfish for like an hour, covered in stings to the point where she has to lay in the salt water for a while on her back and recover from being all stung up all over her body. Nighttime falls,

and on the other shore, they have to make fires for her to like see where to even go. But she was the first woman to swim across the English Channel. That's amazing. I used to surf in jellyfish like that all the time they'd be so thick you'd hear I'm like as they hit the skegs on your board like tons of jellyfish and it was usually just a zone like where you sat to catch the ways wasn't bad and where you finished wasn't bad but like in the middle

as you paddle back out it was that they're just it varies obviously it varies but like because I know there's deadly jellyfish like a boxedley fish what does it feel like to be stung by like these casual seeming like New Jersey jellyfish. I don't even know I'm stung. Instead, I'm itchy and it's an itch that's like hard to solve.

And if you wear a wetsuit, I don't know, I didn't, did she have a wetsuit in that? They get inside your wetsuit and you don't really get any relief. I don't think they exist. She came to their own two piece bathing suit. Like they didn't exist at the time.

And this was like old timey beachware of like 25. Women's distance, I should say distance swimming, I think is like the sport, physical sport anyway, that women and women have the smallest gap in performance. Like this. They're more boy. You knew that too. Yeah, they have a couple of legs.

It's not really like a explosive drink. Is that her? Because that's badass. She does look bad ass. She's covered in Greece. She's got those joggle. She's got those juggles. For 1925.

Good Lord. That's her. This is her. Holy shit. What a beast. Good girl. yeah like she has traps and makes sense she came up with her own goggles her own swimsuit and then it's probably like the thing at the time to do for insulation but covering herself in goose

fat like i was like that's kind of badass i want to be your grease boy just like greasing up muscular women i mean i'd be down yeah yeah i'd grease up some muscular women I mean, it's not exactly my kink or anything, but like, if called upon, I will, I will show up. He made it sound so bad. Kyle doesn't discriminate. Kyle likes putting grease on hot

athletic women. What a fag. But you fuck them too. Ah, dude, if you were two good legs, your spine. And your mammalian boned. Density, damn you. Your mammalian bone density.

What would it birds be? Is it orthos or something? Avian, that's what I'm going for. Yeah. Well, it's come to that part of the show where we have to touch on the pending World War III and the hundreds of billions of dollars that are being spent on a war of choice as we're led. No, not we. This isn't like when my football team wins.

This is not we anymore. I pay taxes, but I'm not owning this. one. Trump is being led by his, I don't know what, into this. I don't accept that, by the way. I just feel like there's this idea that Trump isn't responsible. He's not making any mistakes. Trump is great. There's just, you know, these advisors around him who are getting it wrong.

Trump, of course, is an infallible superhuman. I don't think that. It doesn't fuck children at all. But right now he has some bad, ghoulish advisors who are giving him rough advice. Oh, I don't think that. the nations did well i just like let's not soften it right when biden's administration didn't do the afghanistan pull out very well everyone was like biden fucking sucks when trump starts this war of choice in iran it's he's getting some rough advice let's that's not my take my my thing has been that we've

been forced into this war by israel either by blackmail or just by positioning on the on the chessboard you Once they start attacking, it's... B'i Netanyahu talked Trump into something that he hasn't been able to successfully talk any other American president into ever. And he's tried every single one of them in modern history. He's tried to get them to do this thing. This thing has no end. He has a different take on what success and victory mean every single day.

He literally said, I'll know it in my bones. You know what I mean? Today, I can't remember which country, because forgive me, whether it's Oman or Qatar or Saudi Arabia, but the liquid natural gas like manufacturing mechanism was attacked today by the Iranians and they're saying that it'll be five years

before that can be replaced. Iran is clearly like trying to cripple the global economy. They have like a game plan. Those missiles were pre-aimed. Like don't think that like this thing began and they were like, all right, Target. What should we do?

They were aimed and ready to go. Someone said plan alpha, engage, part one go now and everybody knew what to do these missiles go to Qatar these go to Oman these go to Israel these go to fucking Lebanon or wherever the fuck they were all pre-armed at industrial

and it's clear that they are doing a tit for tat every time we blow up some of their oil shit or their natural gas shit they're like how about we blow up some of yours and their missiles hit where they want them to hit clearly like maybe they're not that pinpoint hit you down the chimney kind of shit but it's a thousand pound warhead so you don't

have to hit them, you know, within a meter. You can be a little off. And it seems like they're hitting what they want to hit, because they're, especially when they target that liquid, it was liquid natural gas infrastructure. They, they targeted, I believe today, but, you know, time moves fast. That's a problem if it's going to be five years before we're back up to going on that. That's heating bills for the planet are going to be up for the next five years. That's not. Remember the war's over. Remember the history of this war, young people? Because like, I've been watching this my whole life now, and it's always the same. In the first 10 days or so, it's like, oh my gosh, our military is so impressive.

We broke 3,000 buildings and pieces of equipment or whatever it is. Aren't we wildly successful? This thing's going great. And then time ticks on. And you realize that breaking buildings and pieces of equipment doesn't enact the change that the president thought it would, regardless of who the president is. And then the hard part comes. and fucking hasn't gone well since Vietnam.

It would go so much worse here than Vietnam. So much worse. If they ever did a boots on the ground invasion of Iran, it would be a complete cataclysm. Are they sending a Marines already? I read that. What's true? I'm sending thousands of Marines.

So there's a group of 2,500 that are on the way from Okinawa, but there's more Marines that are being drawn from other places. And the talk is Netanyahu said today that this may require boots on the ground. And you can bet he ain't talking about Israelis. Israel doesn't fight wars in the Middle East. We do it for them. Well, they're invading Lebanon pretty heavily right now. How many Israeli soldiers went to Afghanistan?

How many went to Syria? How many went to Libya? How many went to Iraq? I hear your points here, but you know why they didn't go. Guseg. In any case. I'm on your side here They're all on the same side on this one

They'll let perfect be the enemy of good Wow You're right I'm not going to stomp on any more minoras On your behalf, okay? Calm down My super short opinion is that the reason that

Trump was able to be talked into doing this is because Netanyahu has the real Epstein files I think the entire Epstein Island and Honeypot was deeply tied into Mossad. And I think, you know, people just go, oh, what does Putin have on Trump or whatever? I think Netanyahu has something devastating on Trump and quite a number of people

to get this train going. It's so much bigger. I hate it. It's so, I'm not going to sit here, pretend that Iran is a great country and they don't sponsor state terrorism and they're wonderful people. And we, you know, we need to do that regime in place.

But we're rolling in there with no plan, just like Israel's, little bitch. Like every time Israel needs a favor, we drop down on our knees and do the lewd anime raccoon face. Oh, yes, master. What do you want from me? And we'll just go in and do their war for them.

So hypothetically, so I don't think, you know, Netanyahu's been showing that he literally pulls up like a high school science project poster board at the, at our Congress all the time. And he draws a cartoon bomb, and he shows how full it is. And when it's full, Iran has their nuclear weapon. So if you can find that photo, Zach, because he's, He does it every eight years. And I just had this idea that, like, Iran, I can't imagine Iran actually launching a nuclear weapon at Israel unprovoked. I know they say death to Israel.

I know they say death to America. I know they have to be, but they would have to know that that would be kind of suicide. Because we all know Israel has nuclear weapons, and they would use them in a counterstrike. And we might too, like depending on which presidents in order, in power. but now we're kind of putting them in a corner. We're really putting them in the corner, and this thing keeps escalating. I think the last out of the Iranian leadership

was that if their oil infrastructure is attacked one more time, that they will show no restraint. I take that as they're going to very heavily target the oil infrastructure of the surrounding countries. But I hope it's not a nuclear weapon. Look, if they have any... They always talk about the 400 kilograms, I think it is, of like 60% enriched your...

uranium that the Iranians have somewhere, I don't see any reason why you can't load that up in one of those cluster munitions and dirty bomb all of Tel Aviv. You absolutely can. You don't need a working, yeah, you don't need a working fission weapon. You could just, you could make each of those warheads half uranium and half high explosive, and that would do the trick, I think. I don't know if uranium would be the best like material for that probably something It's pathetic how much we are Israel's dog

Israel's militaristic dog Every battle in the Middle East And everyone pretends that Or the neocons and the neolibs And on CNN, Fox, MSNBC, CBS They're all talking about this like oh, this is a good thing to get rid of them No This doesn't benefit a man

Americans doesn't benefit the American people. It's so expensive. I don't give a fuck about Iran. I don't care. It's so expensive. It's a fucking joke. They said they dropped like 12 billion in munitions the first week, but that hasn't even come close to telling the tail of the tape with just the fuel that's being burned by all those aircraft. Just the maintenance required when you put that many flight hours on 100 million dollar aircraft, not just one or two, but hundreds of them. Not to consider the lives that lost. And I don't know if it was true, but they said a billion-dollar insulation was destroyed by Iran, like a thad radar. That thing covers like a quarter of a

hemisphere on its own. Yeah, I don't doubt it because all these They've lost like a dozen Reaper drones. I don't know if it was a dozen or 16 Reaper drones that have been shot down over around. I think those are 20 or 30 or $40 million a pop or something. I think 20. Iran is the golden goose. Something like that. Iran is the golden goose for Israel. They made us depose Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, Iraq, all of these regional influences in order to increase Israel's regional hegemony. Divide and conquer. Yeah. And now that they're completely disorganized. So many of these glib retards like Glenn Beck or Ben Shapiro or all these people who are Israel first instead of America first, they act like Iran is just another.

Iraq. It's not everyone who knows the war games that are the U.S. has run thousands of war games in Iran and it's a disaster to put boots on the ground. The IRGC has 200,000 men. The Iranian military has 400,000. This is not Iraq. This is not Afghanistan. This is a real country. So I'm at the biggest army of the world to be fair. But I, but but the real issue is geography because Iraq was this big open desert. We did that shorts cop did that big left hook. using GPS technology, which was cutting edge and moved entire divisions of tanks and APCs

around the core of the Iraqi army, flanked them and destroyed them and just chewed them apart, not to mention the Apaches that were shooting them over the horizon. It was a technological advantage that was a big deal. That was 1990. The Iranians have caught up to 1990 tech. I don't think we,

the F-35 got shot today and had the land. It was damaged by Iranian anti-air of some kind. They've been pretty vague about it. But I think that if you go in their boots on the ground, like you send like, I don't know, tanks and vehicles, you know, and men. They will have untold losses if they tried to do that. The idea that Iran is the way the al-Qaeda guys were like swinging on monkey bars. No, that's not true.

This is a real country. There's 90 million people there. They have an enormous military presence. They are not primitive. They are advanced in their military because they have been anticipating this attack from Israel slash the U.S. for decades. Israel has been pushing for it since the early 1970s.

It's absurd that we continue to attach to a geopolitical presence to this country that does nothing but weaken us. No, what I mean is we can't open it. They only have to be right once. it's that sort of thing and then nobody will insure the ships that's all that matters it doesn't matter if you what the success rate is if the insurance companies won't insure the shipping then the ship then the then the ships won't move and the Iranians have cruise missiles that they haven't used yet they haven't used any

where are they where they're what cruise missiles are the best i thought they did use a couple no they haven't used cruise missiles they've used drone they haven't even hit their full escalation we're bombing the shit out of them and they've still got cards in their pocket i don't know what they've got left. It's hard to say at this point. They said something like 70,000 long. They said tens of thousands of launchers and drones. Like in the less than 100,000 but more than 50,000 of each

or something like that. Who knows them may have been destroyed? Who knows them may have been fired? But the cruise missiles which are apparently around the straight of Hormuz would be the way they would target most effectively an American warship. It is pathetic the extent to which we weaken ourselves globally at the behest of this country.

That does nothing but take advantage of us take money from us with both hands, steal uranium from us, stage false flags, stage false flags against us. We do fucking everything for Israel, and it's fucking pathetic. It's embarrassing. It really is embarrassing. We do not have sovereignty as far as people. We love foreign lobbying here in this country. That'll never be illegal. We certainly do. Just look at War is, I think, an asymmetrical economic war. If you think about what we are spending, it's the same thing that kind of Russia did with Ukraine.

Now, to be fair, Ukraine got Western powers backing them up. Russia pissed away so much of their resources for very little. We're doing the same. Like, yeah, we've bombed Iranian targets. We've killed people. We've weakened things. If you look at it instead of human lives, you want to go like dollar value. We are outspending them maybe 100 to one at a time where our economy is already on life

support in this weird transition into AI phase. We're doing things like all those missiles and chips and things that are getting blown up. All of those use RAM and electronic components that are increasingly short. So all of us gamers are going to get fucked by that because they're just literally blowing it up. I don't think that. It's pathetic that we continue to just be cowed by them to this extent. I just think that so not only is it crude oil, natural liquid natural gas, all that stuff. It's also fertilizer apparently.

Apparently like a huge amount of the world's fertilizer comes out of that. everything is going to be more expensive because of this. Like when the price of diesel goes up and suddenly trucking costs and shipping costs go up and farming costs go up, especially with the fertilizer, everything is going to be even more expensive because of this. While we get poorer, they ask for 200 more billion. Did you see that? Today they ask for 200. They need 200 billion more.

200 billion more where you could house all the homeless. You could build some like super universities. You could build, you go to the moon. Socialized medicine thing, whatever. Oh, that covers so funny medicine for a year. We would have a Mars base, if not for how much we've given to Israel over the past 65 years. I want a Venus base. I agree.

I think a Venus base. Floating cloud cities, hell yeah. Cloud TV. You know what I'm talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about. Venus seems scary. You have to live in a floating cloud. Not being such as Sissy. Go to Venus.

You're right. Go to Venus. That's all it took. Yeah, don't be a bag. It's gravity is 92% of Earths, whereas Mars is like 38. And the other thing is since it has a thick atmosphere, it will shield you from solar radiation, whereas even Mars really doesn't and you just cook. Problem is the surface is uninhabitable, but if you build a floating cloud city and you put it at the right elevation,

so that it blocks radiation and isn't overly bright and, you know, whatever. It's nearly Earth-like. If we go to Mars, everyone will have your bone density. Yes. That's actually about right. To be honest, I have. Yeah. And if you build this cloud city, it would be like an enormous, like what we have here,

a space station, just an enormous space station? No, you have like airships. You'd be able to go out. outside and like the air the temperature is livable like there's an altitude where you could just go outside you don't need a spaceship you'd be in an air you in the sky though

you would have like bladders of gas that would hot air balloons kind of things or hydrogen gas or something it's probably not probably not hydrogen that's explosive what would it look like if not like an enormous space station like what we have now you'd be down on the city of Star Wars

it's a very thick atmosphere down on the surface it melt it's uh i don't remember what the pressure is but i know it's hot enough to melt lead uh the soviet sent multiple the soviet sent multiple spacecraft and landers landers rather that take pictures on the surface of venus see if you can find those photos from the pictures don't they last like four minutes or something or the initial one lasted like a second and then they were like we can do better and then they made like they were making like stanley style pressure uh he's been watching astrum oh yeah i love astrum i've seen all

all those episodes. They kept sending better and better landers and how many people could live in one of those kind of bases you're talking about in that.

Depends on how big you want to make it. It depends how big do we have the capacity? I guess we don't have the capacity. We have zero ability to make it. Yeah. The moon like circle trip

orbit trip has been pushed to like April again. You know, they had issues about it had a hydrogen leak. He had to deal with that. No sooner than 2035. They put the whole fucking thing back in the garage for Israel.

We don't need to colonize other planets just so long as Israel likes us blowing up other countries. A moon base is not too much to ask. I need Elon Musk to keep sending those cylinders up there and we hook them all together, make a little little pad down there. We live on the moon. You said a moon base was gay. I didn't know. I said Mars base was like impossible.

What's closer? Mars or Venus to us? I'm not in the gotcha. I really don't know. It is because I don't know. I don't know the fucking answer. I think Venus is closer. Mars is going to be further out. Y'all can put that into Google. I think Mars is like quadruple the distance.

If not more, it varies. It has a slower orbit as well. So the times line up more poorly, whereas Venus is a lot faster. So there's a lot more orbital launch windows. Oh, that makes sense. It's closer in, closer orbit.

Yeah. Okay. Venus can get as close as about 38 to 41 million kilometers. Mars, 55 to 56 million kilometers. So it's both a tremendous difference, but that is... These aren't short trips. You can't drive a truck to Venus, you know. We don't know what had happened to a person if you send them to Mars. No one's been in interstellar space for that long, not interstellar, but interplanetary space for that long. on the Apollo missions they were behind the moon for like hours and days and stuff like that I think it's like a week long trip

but going to Mars seemingly is going to be a six month to nine month trip each way although they're not coming back dude we'd have moon bases if we hadn't shackled ourselves to these I'm trying to steer us away from don't say it to these expensive you already can't get alone

don't don't push it I won't put it I don't push it. They debanked him. They debank you. Who's they? What he pays him in the Marshal? Ingan. It's the only currency he can pass anymore. The mail is so heavy. I lose so much on shipping you don't even know. Why won't you send me gold? I would love to see us explore the stars. That would be sick.

I don't, I don't, you know, whatever's more realistic. We're not just never, I never hear any. talking about if I explore the stars I just mean the cosmos I guess our initial ability to express ourselves within the cosmos like going to Venus and having a real

deal fucking fort effectively that circles around it that people can live in that would be awesome that's something we could like if you say like if that were like a 50 year project we as a species could do that if we could stop wasting our resources and

slaughtering each other and behaving like chimpanzees with computers. Like it's, we're just squandering an opportunity. I believe that with a tremendous amount of effort and resource allocation, we could have a moon base. We could have a base on Venus. We, Mars is a little sketchier. I think it's possible. Not in our lifetimes, no.

What do they call that like that quandary you get into when you, you want your spacecraft to go faster so you add more fuel, but now it weighs more. So, you know, you need more fuel to push the extra fuel. you get and that just keeps going over and over. Is that a devil's tip of my tongue? I think it's a, is that a devil's

threesome? That is not. Anyway, that's the case you get into, whenever you try to go fast and take something somewhere in the solar system that isn't right next fucking to us. It would take... Unless we build a space elevator. Well, even, well, I mean, it's... How would that work?

It's an elevator that goes to space. You need some graphene fucking tubes made at a rate that we can't make them to make a rope that's taught enough to carry its own weight as it goes into space. And then you counterweight it with a big thing that's kind of orbiting at the escape velocity

and then you're able to just elevate people up through it and presumably you could pump fuel up to it because when a spacecraft takes off, it burns a huge amount of fuel just to get to escape velocity and get into orbit. around the earth. All the fuel's gone.

All the fuel that you would like to use to accelerate, you know, off into the distance somewhere. Are those are only two options? No. Oh, those aren't even options. I guess our eventual options? If we found, if we find some way to go like five times faster than we've ever gone before, which other minutes are nearby? Because I thought you would have known.

So there's naturaloids. Well, I know Mercury is kind of a shithole. And then after you get past Mars, you start getting in those gas giants. Well, it's the asteroid belt that would have interesting stuff. Just like in the TV show The Expans, there are some asteroids that have gravity, and you could create like a hollow spot in the center of them and create like fill it up with air, you know, seal it off and create like an internal cavern inside of what they're very big asteroids. They're like almost like minor planets, some of them.

The moons of Jupiter or Saturn are interesting. I was kind of alluding to is like, are the moons there more, would the cost of turning those moons of Saturn or Jupiter be less than the total terraforming that would be necessary in these other places? Terraforming is not even a possibility. It's nowhere near something that we can do. I saw Matt Damon growing fucking spuds. That's not terraforming. Terraforming is altering is turning a planet more like Earth. Terra is Latin for Earth.

It's turning something into the Earth. We can't even control our own weather right now. We can't lower our temperature by one degree. And what you would need on Mars is you would need to create a magnetosphere. You'd need to create a magnetosphere so that as soon as you do get some atmosphere, it's not immediately scorched away by solar winds and cosmic rays and stuff. God, what a difficult font. And if we ever did, if we set up a nice base on Mars with rivers and shit,

a million years in the future when we can terraform we got to keep the Indians and Bangladesh's out because they're going to throw fucking Coke cans in it immediately. They can't come. For All Mankind is Do you watch For All Mankind Drifter? No. Oh, you'd love it.

So for all mankind is an alternate reality. It's on Apple TV. Alternate reality where the Soviets beat us to the moon. By like a week. Like we were close, but they beat us. And America says never again. America says we need more funding and we're going to do it and they push the space race doesn't end at the moon landing it begins at the moon landing and so the the you this space race that never ends because the the finish line keeps getting pushed forward it's eventually going to be Mars obviously so by like the late 80s early 90s we have like tablet computers and video conferencing face time yeah we're face timing and stuff like that like it looks like the 80s early 90s we're 80s in a lot of ways you'd recognize the cars, you'd recognize the clothing.

Clothing. I was trying to get away from costumes. The culture. Yeah. But, you know, little things peek through because of the space race. Like, ah, shit, that's like Apple's FaceTime. So you follow, like, this group of characters. One of them is this red-headed chick named Margot, who works at early days NASA alongside Werner von Braun.

And she, she's a character who, like, through the decades, is continuously part of, the space program. She's like a behind the scenes director type character. And then you have like the guy who was going to be, um, you, um, the main astronaut guy. I can't remember what his claim to fame was, but he's one of the main astronauts in the space program. And you follow him at the beginning. He's a hot shot astronaut. Like he lands on the moon eventually. Um, his buddy does too. We're in like the fourth season, about to be the fifth, I think. He's an old man. And now, like, we started out in the 60s, and now we're like, I think in the 2015s, roughly is the new season.

And, like, he's like an old space cowboy now. Like, we're on Mars. We're lassoing asteroids and competing over who gets the resources. Like, it's, I don't think a better future than what we got now. Oh, it totally is. The Mars space race, I would never spoil it. But it is awesome. Like, because you don't know who's going to make it.

because the Soviets and the Americans and a private company all take off at roughly the same time. And they're kind of like neck and neck as neck and neck as you can be on a trip to Mars. But like stuff starts happening and one ship breaks down a little and who's going to help the ship that broke down a little? Or are they going to go for the like first man on Mars or go for being a human being and like helping these guys who are a little broke down here. There's a lot of controversy over there. It's a great show. I love it. Did you know the next season comes out in eight days?

Yeah, I knew it was right around the corner. I saw the trailer the other day. I didn't watch it. I saw a still of it. And I saw, I can't remember his name, but the main astronaut dude. Thank you for that recommendation. That sounds fascinating. I am going to go legally acquire digital copies of that and put it on my home server for viewing later.

I can't recommend. I would just steal it. That's fine. Thanks for coming on. I appreciate you for inviting me. Appreciate it. We enjoy you. We'll have a great rest of the show.

And God willing, next time, six months a year from now, maybe. You want to get some verticality. Fidelior, lower body. Fingers crossed, man. That's a lot. I would take it over what I've got. It works out. Take care, man.

I'd be freaked out by a mechanical spider lower body, though, if I'm being honest. It could be fun. I bet it be loud. Kind of. right although you wouldn't be able to that would be odd because you wouldn't be able to feel your lower body i'm imagining there's some sort of like plugging my nerve endings into some sort of you know who'sy what's it and i could feel that stuff because i know what there are a prosthetic arms that somehow feed hot and cold signals to your nerve endings that are in the stump or whatever and so the

that's crazy yeah that's we're going to replace our legs with a mechanical spider i don't want a bunch of choices, right? I want to like take my upper torso and plug me into a motorcycle, plug me into a segue, plug me into a spider, depending on the situation. Oh, you could be like that you know that that progressive commercial where the black man's lower half of his body is a motorcycle. He's a motorbike. I have no idea. Oh, let me. But I feel like Oscar Pistorius is a good little motivation there. You put those blade legs on. That would be a good placeholder for something else because you're obviously quick as hell you can make the blades taller

so you can be taller that's cool throw some blades on me I'm so fucking suddenly I'm six foot seven sick I'm gonna Kyle link here what do you got what are you got the guy that's half motorcycle

this would be pretty sick he's half motor he is half motorcycle he's just that's true instead of a dick he has a gas tank I always wonder when I see those people who have been like

cut in half and they're just like like a stump. Why did you link us in progressive commercial? What's what we're talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, you see those stump people every now and then. And, and you, like, I wonder how their plumbing is down there,

you know? Because sometimes it seems like, it depends on the degree of stumpification. Sometimes they're full on stumped out where it's like a rib cage just like dragging across the ground. And I'm like,

I don't think he has ass cheeks. Oh. I think there's just like, I think they just like threaded his urethra through like a silly straw and like taped it off or something down there. Have you seen that guy who got crushed by like a fat woman? By a fat woman.

And this crushed guy, like some sort of construction machine fell on him, maybe a crane. And it destroyed his entire body below his navel. And then they like, they like sewed him up. Have you seen this guy? I've seen Robocop I need to find him I know Zach has him That are alive

You're coming with me That's not what you're talking about though right No What are we talking about right now Robocop You know They put it back together

Made him I don't think about Robocop But we're kind of talking about Robocop He was in Detroit He was fighting crime Lauren showers

He survived The 2019 Forklift accident That necessitated A hemicorporectomy Removing the lower half of his body at age 19 he fell 50 feet and was pinned by a 2,200 pound forklift

losing his legs, genitalia. How hard are he bones? This guy. Yes, this guy. No. Have you never seen this? Stop the bleeding, you bastards! What are you doing? Guys, let me just say this. This is horrific. If you

ever see me and I'm pinned beneath a forklift, smother me like Christopher at the end of the soprano, spoilers. Mm-hmm. Just fucking pinch my nose, cover my mouth, and just whisper, it'll all be over soon. Hey, Tone, you want I should smother you? On the other hand, look at this guy. Is he doing a handstand?

He's risen up these girls? He's trying to crawl away. Well, he's certainly, Woody, I can tell you he's not doing a hands stand. No. No, that's horrible. That's on his neck. Is that what he needs to breathe or is that they just rest medical equipment on his chest, like a table? shelf.

Yeah, they just put the, the, the surgeons just put their grip test. Hang on to this. This is horrific. I like everything. That ever happens to you and your wife, she keeps you alive and like,

makes you live stream and stuff to like, like milk you for the last, like bits of your soul or whatever she does to you. Like, don't worry. I'll come and I'll fucking put you down. I want you to come and put me down. You know,

it would be funny. is like I hang myself, but there's not enough body weight. Yeah. I'm swinging there like a light pull. Your head's so heavy, you actually start tipping the other way. My God, that's horrible.

Dude, they'll put you a fuck down. I promise you. Chat would roast the fuck out of me if I streamed that I was that guy. Like, it'd just be nonstop harassment. It'd be blown away by your gameplay at least. You just got one hand and a no dick.

Do you hear about that guy that got banned in Ark Raiders. Did I talk about this on here? I don't think so. He got banned for having a legal equipment. Like it all sort of auto-detected. And Embark is the biggest piece of shit developer who never does a fucking thing just goes on vacation.

And they're not answering like any of their support cases. They just delete like a million of them without addressing them. Yikes. Anyway, this guy apparently had illegal equipment attached to his PC. Because he's a quadriplegic. He plays the game by blowing through some tubes. And, uh, and they banned him.

he opened a support case and they just like they went back and forth for a little bit then closed it without helping him. Dude, I want this guy on Marathon. I could use some easy. Oh my goodness. They have a YouTube channel. Yeah. Like whenever I see stuff like that, maybe my will to live is just less than some people's

or maybe people are just so religious that they can't see their way to, you know, getting that, taking the easy way out. But my God, like I can't live like that. Look at that stumpy man. That stumpy man with one good hand. He doesn't have a dick. Look at that. He's got a colostomy bag resting on his stomach.

He lives his life with a bag of shit resting on his belly button. He also does not have a bladder. He's just filling that that poo pee bag that rests on his belly all the time. And he's got, his left arm is gone. I mean, his right arm is like basically gone. and his left arm is all that's left and he has to strap himself in like some sort of like

dog toy or something it's I couldn't go on that is so awful this makes you want to cry dude this is this is horrible go put him down Taylor I'm not gonna go finish the job his brain is completely intact

he's just like a normal dude getting around his disability I it's a hard life was blown off my body I wouldn't go on. You know what I would do? I'd probably go bananas. I'd probably do something crazy.

We'd rob that bank. I'd probably... Dude, if both of our dicks get blown on, we're going to be the fucking sticky bandits. We're going to be robbing banks all up and down the fucking east coast. We're going to hit up the southwest. We're going to go to the southwest. You know what they call us?

The dust doubles. Yeah. But behind our backs, that's what we'll want people to call us, but they'll call us the dickless bandits we'll be in the bank and we'll like kick the doors into the bank and like everybody on the floor the dust devils are in town

and you'll hear some old lady that's the dickless bandings who said that who's the son of a bitch said that dude I'm watching his most viewed video he has to put like a whole body sock on which isn't even a big sock because of how little he

is now how little of him is left there was more of Robocop left. There was more of Robocop left. I'm not even kidding. This is hellish. This is so sad. Zach, can you find me a picture of Robocop when he's like first, you know, when he's just the arm and like the nubby body? Because that'll cheer me right up after this darkness that you've cast upon me.

You brought this out of your pocket. Like you were saving it to finish the show strong or something. This darkens my night. My God. It's rough. It's a rough one. Anything bright and like, see?

This is, like this is fun. See, nothing wrong with that. That's not exactly what I wanted. This is Robocop 2 actually. I don't see a lot of huge. There's less of him than there is of that other guy.

Yeah, you can't see within the suit though. Like he did at first have the, I think the last. left arm, but they were like, we can save the left arm. He's like, you kidding me? Fucking cut it off. And like, because he's just a lump of meat

to them. So he has no arms and no legs. All he has is a face and a chest. Yeah, that's correct. He has to like subsist on baby food because of his simplified digestive system. Most of his, most of his head has gone too. That face is just a skin mask on top of like

a skull protecting metal thing. Yeah, it's real sad. I've spent the last 50 seconds watching him struggle to put a sock on his entire body. This is this is so ghastly. So terrible.

What happened to this guy? Some sort of machine fell on him and it destroyed everything that would make you want to live. That must be the biggest machine ever. Because if a fucking F350 fell on me, that wouldn't happen. It would just maybe he just got the laziest surgeon

in America. Ah, this is bad. It's all rotten. Yeah. This is all bad. Oh my God. Well, goddamn, Taylor.

Anyway, folks. Yeah, thanks, thanks, thank. Oh, World War III doesn't happen.

Ted Lasso now, you fucking monster. Go watch Ted Lasso. Not this guy fucking struggling to put, oh, this like, this other thing

he's trying to put on and weaving his peep and poop tubes through it. Anyway. Oh, my God. Check.

out the show. It was empty in the bag. Check out Bluuteu. Check out our merch. Check out lock and load. You will enjoy it. You'll be thankful. Enjoy every day you have with your lower body and penis.

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