Painkiller Already - PKA 800 W/ Harley & Josh Wolf: Skidmark Hookups and Dirty Fingers

Episode Date: April 18, 2026

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KA 800. Got Harley to start with Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Blue Chew, lock and load, wonderful merch, all those links below. Harley, you're looking cuter every time.

I like how your mustache is. I like the mustache thicker than the beard look. Yeah, yeah, me too. I've been doing that. I think I got fit. So I wanted to reclaim my jawline,

shave the mustache. I was like, oh, this is cool. Now I'm entering very slowly, but definitely entering my fourth fat era. So the beard is getting thicker. I remember what I mean. Yeah, yeah. So you didn't cut weight for the Mr. Beast video? We're allowed to talk about that. Well, I'd talk about that. I've mentioned it a few times. I've lost 10 pounds, so I'm slightly less fat for the video. You lost 10 pounds. What'd you do? I stopped. You cut five almonds before bed. Actually, the nuts are It grew from 6 to 8 to 14. Like, all right, no bowl, no bowl.

Just whatever fits in my hand. I don't, I mean, I can't not snack. I can not love food. I've been dialed in before, not to the level that you are that Kyle has been. But like, whenever I get to that that dialed in, I'm like, this is no way to exist. There's no way to exist.

I wish I were just super athletic black man or Chinese man that gets super great results without really dedicating themselves to the eating. You know what I mean? This fucking shitty Jewish body is already shaped weird. You know what I'm working with here? It's tall. It's big and tall. That's cool.

But that just makes my dick look smaller and extra. to my thighs. There's always a cost. When you're at your fittest, there's no way to exist. My dumb ass goes the other way. I'm like, this is the permanent me. You know what? I'll never wear those pants again. I'm sure. I'll never need my fat clothes for from here to eternity. I'm going to be fit Woody. And then like, yeah, it's like one cupcake wouldn't change that, right? That's where I know. I'm not saying too. It's a dangerous road. I am that. I am like, oh, it's so easy if I'm already here. Let's just not fuck up again.

Let's not sit down and play video games for three months while eating delivery. Let's not do that again. That's a consistent amount of fucking up. And then I start to think about accounting calories. Do you know how much work I put in to get fucking fat over COVID? You have to put in a lot of work, though. You wake up, you eat breakfast. Like you eat a breakfast and shortly after like two hours later, you're eating probably lunch, probably something.

And the amount of meals between lunch and dinner that I have to lupor in there. That's how you get done. There's a lupor 100%. Yeah. I'm good between lunch and dinner. It's between dinner and bed that I go off the rails. I don't even get there. That's where it goes crazy.

That's where you do some weird shit. Like stand up, go to the. cupboard, take peanut butter and have like five spoons of peanut butter and put it away. And then forget about it. Your body will erase that from your mind. And then you wake up and you're like, why do I have a tit? Yeah, exactly. When you burp or something, you're like, oh, why do I taste peanut butter?

I did that. Why are my jeans doing that thing where when you sit down the waist folds? My underwear does that? And I remembered when I, and I'm saying entering my fat era, because the snap of me sitting down on my underwear flipping the waistband flipping down, I was like, it begins. And then when it does cut those off. The late night snacking is the one that I struggle with the most, right? Between lunch and dinner, it's like, all right, I'll have four almonds. Dinner's still two hours away.

This will help me get there. I ain't eaten no four almonds at 1 a.m. At 1 a.m. I may, it's like, there's cookies in this pantry. every one of these motherfuckers living with me is eating cookies and I'm having all this I've got these cookies I don't think I've ever had four just four of anything no matter what it is like I've not even slices of pizza I agree that's the that's the demon voice in my head late at night sometimes

it'll be like you've earned this pizza and I've done nothing to earn it but it just and it just says that I've earned it and then I enjoy yourself It's hard to do. I get what I'm about to say is almost like it's already just eating healthy. But what I would do is I get those pure protein protein bars from Amazon. I get like a cookies and cream or a birthday cake. They're like 150 calories.

Taylor don't like birthday cake. Well, pick your, I like peanut butter chocolate too. Didn't I push you on these, Taylor? Wasn't I big that you get it? But I liked the cookie dough, not the birthday cake. No, yeah. You tried a birthday cake and I was like, I can't vouch for that one. The trick is to freeze them.

The trick is to have them cold because they're little. And they're tiny. It slows you down. Yeah. Yeah. You've ever eaten four or more of those pure protein bars in a single night. I've never eaten more than one in a sitting. Oh, wow.

La, look at the Pope over here. Look at him on his ivory throat. Because you know what happens to you eat like four of those binging? I would feel incredibly guilty. Well, that. Your shit changes. Your shit is like. You're like a soft serve machine the next day.

Yeah, it's a lot of fiber. It's a lot more, it's a lot thicker than a soft serve. There's no gravity. You can tell when that shit's coming out. Yeah, you have to push it out. You're like the squeeze bottle. There's no gravity letting it fall out. Every shit is squeezed out of you.

Yeah. Because I've had whole days where like my big snack at the end of the day is a ton of popcorn. But I also eat like nonsense before that. And I can almost tell like you're going. going through sedimentary layers, where I'm like, that nice, healthy one was dinner and popcorn. And now here comes the Storm Brothers. A Cambrian age.

Yeah. Now you need poppers for dessert. It's just hard to snack reasonably. I like that. It is. After I did the taxes, I was just in a big relief mood. and my wife is like, hey, you want a soft pretzel? And I've got Lord of the Rings in my head.

I'm like, why shouldn't I? You offer this to me freely? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this. I thought we were gone with Bilbo holding the ring. That's what he offers it to Gadriel? I need help. Gladriel, yeah. I've done that same thing with frozen pretzels.

The guy they've got playing Aragorn? tremendous. He looks like Erdogan. He looks like Erdogan. It's the guy from like Shades of Grey, like 50 Shades of Gray, I think. I've never seen that, but I'm told he this. Oh, lesbian book club alert.

Woo. Yeah, more of a reader. Yeah, more of a reader. And I saw a picture of him with the long, curlyish hair like Eragorn has sort of like giving you the steamy eyes. And I'm like, that's it. He's got the same nose. He's got the same eyes,

the brow, like perfect casting. Vigo Morton's his. is either in his 60s or 70s. You know, he's an old man. He can't do that role. Gandalf, it makes perfect sense to bring Ian McKellen back. Gandalf's an old broken down wizard. That's what he still looks to 140.

He could still do it. Yeah, but like a sry one 40. This is a prequel, right? Yes, a needless prequel. I'll watch it, I guess, but I have very low expectations. Are you Harry Jackson doing it? I'm a huge Harry Potter guy, probably a bigger fan of the Harry Potter universe than I am the Lord of the Rings universe,

even though I know that the Lord of the Rings universe is superior in every single way. But I'm a bigger fan of the Harry Potter stuff. I am super down on the show. I will not watch the show. Like, first of all, we don't need it. They nailed it the first time. And second of all, they got a black snake, which is just a- I was going to say, I don't even know.

I know you did. You don't need to make up all these other excuses. Yeah. It's the black snake. It's 100% the black snake. Yeah, it is an interesting choice. I don't know why they keep doing that. I've been cool with Black Dumbledore

I legit would have been just perfectly fine Why is that better? I don't understand the difference Yeah because like Snape's character in particular Is His whole backstory He was bullied relentlessly

By Harry's father And his like gang of friends And we get these glimpses Harry gets these glimpses As the books go on Of like dang My dad really did treat this guy like shit He's got a reason to hate me

and like some of the ways they pick on him they talk about his greasy hair and how poor he is and how they hang him in a tree at one point with magic like there's this they don't like him because he likes Harry's mom so your point is that it's unrealistic

for a black person to get hung from a tree or to be poor in the UK yeah this was Harry Potter's Southern Tales I'd be like perfect perfect justice this time

but but it's not that it's not that it makes no sense to make him black I would have been, I'd probably watch this black. And then, and then Hermione's brown. You know, they picked the, and, but, and the insults to get thrown at these two characters are things like, they call Hermione a mudblood. She's, I have a question about the brown thing. Did they cast her brown this time or she was meant to be brown at the start?

These are all white kids in the books. Oh, okay. There's only like two black characters. There's, uh, Kingsley Shackle Bull. Oh. And, um, and, um, and then there's a couple of shackle bull. and then there's a couple of black kids. No, the total team wasn't lost on me, Kyle.

Yeah, yeah. I can't remember where I saw it, but they were like, look at this guy. He looks like a Haitian cab driver. He's got one of those stupid little hats and stuff like that. He's one of the orers in the, he's a law enforcement agent in the magicing world. In any case, it makes no sense to make him black.

I'm not going to watch it. It's not even a necessary, like, TV show. And the biggest downer on it is they already admitted they're not going to be able to do a season per year, which was the biggest selling point to me was that every year you get another school year of the show. Because the books and the books are broken up into school years, like year one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven.

Those are how many years you spend in magicing school or at least how many Harry spends. And like, if you can't do one every year, then the characters are 25 by the end of this thing. And they got beards and 10. and stuff and it doesn't make sense anymore. They're supposed to be 15 or 25. That's never stopped, you know,

Amazon or Netflix before, though. They'll make shows where they're supposed to be like 17 and they're like 31. That's really obvious. Sometimes. Since the beginning of time. It seems like they've gotten worse about it because they used to at least make consecutive seasons.

Oh, I mean, I used to watch fame, which was a television show, I think in the 70s, if not, not definitely 80s. And those people were in their 30s playing high school kids. Well, see, it's different casting someone who's older to be a high school kid than it is taking so long to get your show done that they age out. Like you start with an 11-year-old and you're like and you supposedly he goes through five years of school. So now he should be a 16 year old.

No one knows. Okay. But he's a 22 year old or something like that and it looks silly. Like Stranger Things is the biggest defender. Like you look at the last. to that. Everybody's grown. Like Millie Bobby Brown is like a, is posting thirst pictures all over fucking the internet.

Like I've seen more of her body than I care to admit. I misunderstood Taylor's point, I think. But yeah, I get it now. It's just got to be like, there's got to be some congruency throughout it. Some back in the day, TV shows were less ambitious. And they got them out every year. Now TV shows are like a movie per episode sometime.

I look at NextGen. Next one has like 28 episodes of season. Hell yeah. Oh, the Star Trek one? Is it all the Star Trek? Oh, you're going back in the day, I see. Any of them. Deep Space Nine is the same thing.

All that old network, those old network TV shows would do 22 to 26 episodes a year or something. Every week they're making a new episode. I don't recognize your background. And it's, I feel like it's a joke that I should know. This is the room that you took ketamine, and journaled inside of.

It is. You don't remember this? This is your academy and journaling room. Is that? I do not know the bit. No, no. It's just a random background I have. The loose background.

Guilty robot rented an office space to do a job, trying to put together what this generic background is. Yeah, that was, I remember that. There's like a fucking photocopier going. There's some guy walking around talking about T. reports. He couldn't get good internet in his house. So he literally like rented an office space to be a content creator. I mean, I'm here for it. I just haven't seen it before. Yeah, no, just a random, just a room so that I'm not in a, in front of a green screen. That's so frustrated

because the beauty of like an influencer as streamer, YouTuber type job is your office and your bedroom are meters away from each other. It's just a hop, skipping a jump to bed. That's But all those like grind till you die losers came and started with, you know, making algorithms and stuff. And, you know, I see it. People talk about AI all the time. And they're like, oh, it's so it's soulless. And then I'll like scan atop YouTubers thumbnails. And I'm like, no, I think we've already been playing to the algorithm just ourselves anyways.

Like we already do that. You know, people like to, they game the system. You know what I mean? So some people are like, you got to have three shorts a day, also three reels, three TikToks a day. You got to always be uploading new content. Yeah. So renting an office space is a thing that a person would do. I always made my home my office.

Like I always rented a place when I was doing epic meal time that had a good kitchen, but then had enough room for, you know, multiple computers to be editing and like a room to store camera shit. but I was always like I'm not going so I'm going downstairs yeah going downstairs too I would imagine like not right in my car home yeah exactly I'm not getting in my car unless it's to go like really over exert the noon shift at Burger King like out of nowhere fuck their shit up I actually did they did I got in trouble once I like went to Tim Hortons and I was like all your donuts everything And they were like, oh, okay. And so they gave me all the donuts.

And I was like, and I left thinking I was all sick. And I got to the car and then this like woman came out. She's like, we never do that again. I was like, never buy everything in the store. She's like, no, you screwed us. I was like, I refuse to understand how buying all of your stuff screws you. He's like, we have guys come in that make the stuff and they get paid X amount of dollars. and they're here for a full shift,

and then they're off. But now for the people that come and we want to buy coffee and hang out, we also want to sell them donuts. We have nothing. They're going to come in here and the place is empty. It looks terrible.

So we have to hire two bakers at one and a half times of the price for like three hours now and the whole store is going to be empty. Ooh, sounds like a huge problem. That's exactly. I had two voices in my head, one that was like,

I give a shit about this. Are those guys happy to come in? Then you'd shout out to them for the pay and a half. You're not turning a profit on donuts. But another part of me was like, I would hate like you're doing a thing. And like everything I hate about for me from her perspective that I agree with is I'm like,

I'm some fucking dude that came in here with a camera that's like, now this is my job. it's gonna fuck your shit up even though i thought it was chill buying all the donuts it's still like i it's not like it was that sick i gave her like 190 yeah it's all the donuts yeah all the donuts like wasn't like it's not like i was like mr beast in there sounds like they were low on donuts and that they were giving you guff for no reason normal amount of donuts but once you hit like once you decide you're buying 60 donuts you're now taking like a third of their donuts because they have let's say like 200 donuts

that's what i thought but she was explaining to me their wage workers they the owner was probably happy the owner was like yeah great we'll make this today instead of that today but the workers are just clocking in and clocking out the manager is the one that has to move us whole whole schedule because she has to bring two guys in now that we're supposed to be in tomorrow and now they can't come in tomorrow because they're still in the one and a half range, some shit like that. It is a her problem, but who am I? I'm a fucking TikToker. Why do you tweet him,

Hortons, get him in trouble? Like, hey, I bought every donut at Tim Hortons to do this cool thing. The manager told me to never do that again at Tim Hortons. Sorry, I missed you guys up today. My bad. I heard Ben Hinkin loves this sort of thing, though. And then at them. I know a YouTuber once

I was like at Delta Airlines you lost my luggage and I have a small army that isn't going to take too nicely to someone doing me wrong at Delta Airlines figure it out and I remember reading that and be like they don't give a shit that you're a YouTuber they lost your luggage like that happens to anyone

in the world that gets on a plane you're not going to you know who you're tweeting at right now. Yeah. An army is not going to arrive. Like six lunatics. No, there were a lot of, no, there was a lot of autistic people though that did get in the tweets there and muddy up their socials. No bombs, though. It probably works. It worked for me one time. One time some dude hacked my Xbox account and the lead of Microsoft security, like their head security architect, his name was B. And I asked him for help. And I asked him nicely and politely. But then

everyone who follows me on Twitter didn't ask very nicely and politely. He told me off and text. And he's like, never do this again. I would have helped you, but now I won't. And then he helped me and fixed it. Worked out. If he didn't help you, if he didn't help you, I'd be like, that's so crazy. Guys, get a lot of this.

He's not going to help me. That motorcycle dealership that gave me a hard time, like I, I went to go buy a motorcycle. I was trying to spend like nine or ten grand and and the guy was hit me with like I used to sell cars so I understand like selling selling vehicles and like all the admin fees and he was hit me with all these bullshit fees and it was like a 9,000 bike was ended up being like $13,000 or something like that and I was like this doesn't look right dude this is unacceptable and he's like we we don't I was like I was like I was like I don't have this many add-ons on an expeditable and he's like we don't I was like I was like I don't have this many add-ons on an expedited addition when I would sell it, a $70,000 vehicle. And he's like, we don't sell motorcycles here. We sell fun. And I was like, oh, okay. And then it came on the show and gave him a hard time. And I guess their Google reviews got destroyed. And then the owner, I go and buy a motorcycle somewhere

else for like a good bit more money. And then the owner is calling me. And he's like, hey, I own mega motorsports. I'm getting off a plane right now. Our social media manager is blowing me up. explain what was done wrong. How were you wrong, sir? And I explain it to him. He's like, ah, we're going to make this right. He's like, would you like to come in and help with the training of that employee? And I was like, first of all, that would be incredibly humiliating for him.

But no, no, thank you. That sounds like a crazy hassle to you. Yeah, exactly. I'd be like, do you have 20K for me to do that? Do you work a shift for me? Are you doing a motorcycle? I'd be like, funny you ask that. My instructor fee is,

one CBR 600. Yep. And because you should get the CBR 700. Because it was our fans, because it was like our listeners doing it, I was checking the Google reviews and there would be some people who were like, zero stars,

terrible service, never used this place, but I've heard bad things. And then there would be, for every one of those, there'd be like three more where it'd be like salesperson Jeremy molested me in the bathroom. I knew is going to be like, this is where this guy lives. Yeah, that guy was a jerk.

R SK. R SK. That was like, that guy was a jerk because like that same day, I bought like $1,200 worth of motorcycle gear. I bought all my like first motorcycle gear there, my boots and helmet and everything. And then I'm like, all right, now let's spend another nine or ten ground on a bike. And he was a shitty shithead. And like, of course, like someone contacted me like, hey, we're at like blah, blah, blah, and Kennesaw, like, come on up here.

We'll treat you a right. And they did. they gave me a used bike for like what they paid for it like I ended up I had I had equity in that bike when I rolled out of there it was a great deal and did you give them any any flavor yeah yeah I don't know it's been a couple years ago now but I'm sure we talked about them a good bit they were super cool to me when I went in to buy that bike yeah that was a good story Jim Norton used to do that I remember on social media like four reviews she said condom and then I show up and she pulls a fast one on me.

He had a lot of great escort stories, but like United would like fuck him over in little ways where he'd be like, now I'm going to miss one show because of this. And apparently his fans were rambunctious enough that they would just destroy. Like clog up all of their customer service lines playing pornography over the phone. Like just doing not exactly what you'd expect of Jim Norton. to do. It works. So you can't really, you know, throw shade at influencers and whatnot for doing it because

they've been trained. This does work. Like as much as you think this is a giant corporation that doesn't care, there are 100% people getting added in emails that care. Like, they don't want that to happen. What's funny is, a musician, United Breaks guitars, that viral song. So good. Yeah. Oh, so this guy I had his guitar and I think he bought a seat for it. I'm not sure I have all the details right. But I think he bought a seat for his guitar, but they still wouldn't let him do that. So they took the guitar and they put it underneath with all the other luggage. But he could see out the window how abusive they were towards the guitar.

And he made a music video about them breaking his guitar. And when he asked him to like compensate him, they said no. Well, that was a huge mistake because it went super viral. eventually had to make it right 30 million views and it's if you've scrub like like scrub through the video it's really good like like they picked this like a folk singer or something to wrong and he's got the perfect weapon to hit him back like like he couldn't have done more damage he needed a reason he needed a reason to write a song yeah it's like waiting for one um i it's the whole uh customer's always right thing is funny because i whenever something makes sense

censor it's fair. I'll just be like, no, this is crazy. I shared a story here once and then a couple of people like they went to my Twitter and messaged me about it. I don't know if you guys remember, but I spoke about, uh, I was at a gas station and I got three monster energy drinks or like five monster. I got a bunch and I brought them to the front and I put them on the counter and one rolled off and hit the bottom and the bottom just got dented in on the corner. And the girl there started ringing it up and she definitely looked like she was from an other country and sounded like it. But she was here now and I'm happy

she's here and she is welcome to be here. But she, it is, I think it's a culture. She's like a culture thing. Wherever like the markets that she knows you, you break you buy type thing. She didn't know like how the system works.

But I was like, oh yeah, here are the drinks. I'm going to just put this one here and I'll go get another one to replace it. And she was like, we have to buy this one. And I was like, what? She was like, you have to buy this one because you dropped it. So you have to buy it.

And there's like, there was a bunch of monsters. I was buying for a bunch of, but I think there was like five. And like I'm buying five monsters and I'm not going to buy that broken one. It fell by accident. So I was like, uh, I don't have to buy that one. I could just replace it. You could send it back to Monster.

They'll literally pay you back. Your boss will sort it out. everything's fine, put it right there, give it to your boss. Trust me. And I'm going to get a new one. And she was like, no, you have to buy this one. And this is like a real place. This is like, I'm at an SO gas station.

And she's like, you have to buy this one. And I was like, okay, I don't have to buy anything here. All these drinks, I could actually just walk away right now. Not buy anything. I could just leave. I don't have to buy anything. Yeah. We could establish that.

This isn't in a range. to purchase. Yeah. I'm saying, I can walk away. Absolutely. And I was like, I'm just saying,

but I'm not going to, I will, I'll go get other one, another one and replace it. Like, that's cool. And she's like, no,

no, you have to buy the broken one. And I was like, what the fuck? And also I am very huge guy. I'm like monstrous mutine. I can't be like, are you fucking,

um, you don't know how it works, do you? Who, where's the, who, who, how long have you been here?

Like, I, can't say any of that so i'm trying to i'm just chill the guy behind me is super clearly homeless like uh a pissed a wet piss stain on gray sweatpants right where his dick head is crazy hair dirty mangy some also somehow also bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but like real those guys get around dude yeah and he's he's he's literally tweaking behind me and he he steps where he's like honey you you you remember me right she's like yeah He's like, listen, I work in HR.

He's totally right. This, I've been in the business. You give it to your boss. They're going to sort it out. Let him pick a new one. Trust me, I promise you, that's how I work.

She's like, okay. And I go and I'm like, thank you. And I always just was like sharing the story of like, I don't know how the fuck this pissed date and homeless dude was more credible than I was in this situation to this girl. But she was just not,

yeah. She was not having it. But I forget why I initially was sharing this story of these monsters. You were treated poorly by the gas station, and you were going to maybe tweet something about their poor service? Yeah, it was after the United Story, the guitar United Story. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And I shared this on the podcast last, and a couple people messaged me and they're like, you're wrong. You should have bought that broken monster. But I shared the story with you guys, but I wanted to know what you guys think. If any of you think that I was should not have returned. No, I should have paid for that.

You were 100% the right. You dropped the monster, right? I dropped it by putting it on there. I mean, technically, like, if someone's going to be like, well, you dropped it. I'd be like, well, can I look at the angle of this table, the cash register? Regulation station on it.

Like, if it's not flat and it leans to one side, then you guys dropped it. Oh, yeah. Go get a level and check the, I learned, I learned this lesson when I was, 18 years old and I paid homeless Chuck to go into the liquor store with me and get beer for me and my cousin. And he picked up a soggy six pack and tried to walk it out of there. The handle tore off. All six beers hit the concrete floor and explode right in front of the guy who owns the store.

And I'm terrified because I'm 18 years old paying a homeless guy to buy me beer. And now we've caused a scene. And he doesn't skip a beat. He goes, God damn it, man. You got to do something about them coolers. That was soggy as hell. Give me another. And he goes. And he goes. And he goes, he goes, he goes, God, damn it. And he and gets another one and just puts it on the counter like like like like like business as usual and the guys like yeah yeah they a lot of condensation in there i'll get that cleaned up i'm like oh shit chuck knows this game you know why that's you know why like when then this happens uh i i'd get my sister to call when my phone bill is like if i if i went to the u.s i didn't turn on roaming i'd get charged crazy amounts per day it was ridiculous they overcharged Canada charges a lot for internet shit and there's like a monopoly in the phone

companies and I'd get my sister to call and then she'd hit me back and be like okay so your bill is you don't have to pay for your bill and you got uh I got your phone upgraded with one month free she's just good at that move of calling Rogers the phone company and stay at a certain point the phone company and every company does this the 1-800 for my Xbox used to do this and I would call them and I'd sit on the phone for like two hours if I had to and in the end up be being worth it because they'd be like, this is a power user, and they have demonstrated that they have the time to stay on the phone here and be connected, bounce around.

We are now in the realm of losing money for the amount that they're tying up. They have a $50 problem, and we've already paid $30 of employee time to have this person dealt with. The homeless person with beer has nothing. but time and is the ultimate power user. He is like, you better replace that beer because if you don't, call the cops.

He lives outside. He lives right outside and he wants more beer already. He's selling lucies. Just give him the get the other beer and he's gone until the next time he buys a beer. Or you have like a wild homeless dude around outside. you got to have the cops come. That's the customer.

You're right that you have to placate the most, is the crazy person who lives right outside of your establishment. Because if I were getting gas and I was thinking, I'm going to grab a soda while I'm here. And I see some guy gibbering with his own burned CD collection. He's trying to sell. I'm going to go, you know, I think I'll forego the Coke. Dude, did they do that in St. Louis?

The Black Eyes hand out demo tapes still on CDs? Maybe they do like deep in the city but not at the gas station. Oh my God, all the time out here. There's always a guy hustling at the gas station. Yo man, yo man, I'm little pock. And what I got right here, this is the shit. And he's like snapping it on his hand. Like this is it. This is it right here. He's got this. The little pock. D little pock, him. You know him? Three pock. Everyone knows it.

Sitgo? And sit go. Oh seven, right? Yeah. It's got the diesel. And the 87. Yeah, while else would you get here. The sweatpants with the really crispy cuffs,

as if they've been covered in mud many times and never fully washed. I used to get that a lot in Los Angeles. Like when I was living in Hollywood, you got guys that were there with the CD pushing it on you. And there was one thing that I found that I had,

I think I had like one of the first time, I had taken a five-hance, like an Adderall, basically. Yeah. And that thing, like, you can get distracted doing something intensely, like cleaning or some shit. And there was a Walgreens beneath my place. And I remember going down there and this guy ambushed me with that. He am, what's up, dude?

What's going on, guys? How are you? Josh. I just listening to Lil Pock before. I guess, you bump in Lick-O-Lockum later. I got to tell you, I buy every time somebody approaches me with one of those, I buy it. I make them play it first because I've heard of people like selling blank shit. Yeah, man, if you're, if you're out.

Selling black, they scam a potential fan. Do they make a fake rap persona? I don't think so. I think they just, you know, maybe they sell it and they do not intend to. to go back to that same gas station. But I'm all about the hustle man. If you want to sell me a $5 Rees and pretend like it's so your football team can go to D.C. This summer, I am all about the hustle man.

I'm not going to give you $1,000. But if you're out here hustling in the parking lot, yeah, dude, I'm in on it. Whether it's real or not, I'm in on it. I do see those guys on occasion. Like when I go to Blues games, it'll be a guy standing in like a charity show. shirt holding a bucket being like help me send my boy scout squad to Washington to mount Vernon for the the summer and it's like he's just visibly methed up just out of his his pupils aren't responding to light he's just out of control and it's like all right I think

I'm going to keep that window rolled up and then so have you ever had an aggressive enough homeless person where they like they walk up that little median and then they they they wrap on your window. That's St. Louis has that? We've got some aggressive ones. We've got the water boys. Winnipeg in Canada. Winnipeg in Canada, I haven't been, but they're like, people say like they will very

normal that they'll touch you. Yeah, Winnipeg is different. I love the, like a good insult for homeless from a homeless guy makes me laugh. I was in Portland and, you know, I'm walking around in my sweatpants and whatever. And this dude goes to me and goes, hey. you got some change i go no i don't got any he goes yeah you looked like you wouldn't have any and i was like i'm going to give you money now i'm going to use that on stage so that was funny yeah you wrote a you wrote a minute of my act tonight so i appreciate it is there like a shocking

noise of mine with the only person hearing this it's josh's audio i oh okay is it i thought it was just me for a second but i saw woody's face contort in a very small way and he's the guy that would Woody, what's going on with my audio? I've got to defend Woody here a little bit. Yeah, so it crackles, but only when you speak. But it wasn't doing it when you first joined. When you first joined, it was perfectly fine. It wasn't doing that at all.

It was working good. If you could join the show quietly, we'd solve the problem. That's not how we want, though. We want Josh to talk. Zach, take him back and get that fixed so we can join again. Yeah, click that and join that. He'll get you fixed. Let's let's see if.

What are now? Am I cracking? Yeah, you are. It was perfect right when you came in. I didn't notice it right away. I wonder. No, no, it was fine. It was not crackling.

It just turned up on the last. Could it be? Lose connection. Cell phone too close to the wire. I'm not sure what's causing it. I don't know. Now it's like a thunderstorm. Is it really?

Yeah. Click that link, Zach gave you, and he'll get you fixed and then put you back in the show as soon as it's all good. Sorry, Josh. Oh, you get to sort it out. Woody, don't apologize. You hate that shit.

Not on a personal level to anyone, but you just hate when the audio is not coming through. It does seem to be my flavor of autism. To just get violently angry people. You know, that's actually a good flavor of angry to have when you're doing kind of an audio medium. Yeah. No one needs to be a podcast.

It's a lot of favor is what I'm trying to make new friends in marathon. However loud it is here, it's going to be louder for someone in the car on the way to work. Yeah, Josh, just to click that link over there. It's in the text chat, little side chat of this. If you can still hear me, that'll take you to the other room. We have the water boys in Atlanta, so you'll stop at, traffic's always terrible, and you'll get off the interstate, and you're stopped at a red light to go where you're going, and they run to your car with these cold bottles of water to sell you for a buck.

And like, smart, cool. Yeah. And it's always like three or four little. Is it legal? Probably not. But, but like nobody hassles the water boys. You know,

they, they weren't selling water. They'd be doing something else. Like, this is the best move for the water. You're selling juice. You can't sell them. Yeah.

I didn't know where to take it. Not anymore. To take it. The, I was saying before and I took it. Oh, my law. Jew, I just bought.

I don't even know what you're talking about. I didn't even think of that. You know what? I'm going to do myself. This guy's just the worst. He never, you, he,

all the trees down for no reason. You tell him he, he negotiates it for, he negotiates him. Oh, yeah, that's what, that's what you're,

part of it. You're, you're trying to get a new quote on auto insurance. And you're like, hold on, let me put my, that's why you get the, that's why you get the female Jew.

for that. Yeah. Well, for that specifically, I don't know, my mom and sister just always killed that shit. They were good at it. But I did want to say when I took that Adderall, one of the first times, it's like it was a drug. It was like really gets you fucked up, focused on something. And I unintentionally found a little hack that does work.

A guy was pushing his album on me at the Walgreens beneath my place. And it's interesting. They do usually play. They, like, they, they'll, like, play you a sample bit. They do, like, the Chinese spot at the food court. Where they bring you a little taste. They entice you, like at Sarko, Japan. So, yeah, he'll show you something.

And, yeah, he was, he showed me something. And I gave him a lot of genuine feedback. And I had the time. I had nowhere to be. I was a bit scared and didn't want to offend him because I was freshly stoned. mixed with the Vivance. I'm like overcompensating, trying to engage with him on it.

And he was just sick of it. At a certain point, I was too much for the $5 to $10 donation for his album. You're like rocking back and forth, standing on the balls of your feet, like a lunatic. He was avoiding me when I would go to Walgreens and walk out. He would harass everyone that came out and he would turn around. I was like, actually, probably that day, genuine like a big fucking loser. Probably said the ugliest shit. I was probably like, oh, this part's swag.

Because it's 2014, you know? So like this part's swag. Dude. This part's, you're saying that over and over? This is very swaggy. The whole vibe. You want to adder all? You're licking your lips a lot.

The whole vibe is swaggy. No, seriously, swaggy vibes. Yo, sick name for the album. Anyways, he's probably... Oh, no, me? I just have these two bags of 50 McDonald's for me and my friends. Yeah. So you could do that. Just like really,

if you need to scare them away, because another thing, I've been to restaurants or I've gone to places. And this is a really funny, weird, bizarre, almost Larry David-esque problem to have

is I would go to, like, restaurants that I liked. And it was peak epic meal time. It's food. So they want to do, they want to do right by me. And so they would be too nice.

So I would go there and they would be like, don't worry, we're going to whip something up special for you. So now instead of me ordering and paying for the thing that I genuinely wanted and was excited for, the guy in the back is going to do his best version of an epic meal. I don't have to pay for it, but like the owner's going to like film me eating dinner too now on his bad phone. The whole thing's like you don't want any of that. I'm on five hands and freshly stoned. I'm going to go eat somewhere else where they're mean to me. And I can just be a person.

You know what I'm saying? You know, you know where they've got that formula down is Popeyes. Every time you go to Popeyes and you order, they act like you've personally wronged to them. They're the worst, the worst employees. Just the,

like, if we could somehow get that Chick-fil-A training in Popeyes, they'd explode. and nobody likes somehow the rudeness is part of hiring practices might just be the issue there table

I was at a I was at a steak I was at a stake in the airport I was at the stake at the airport that's another one I never in my life saw like five employees

all who each individually were the top five people that I've ever seen in my life hate their job and I was seeing them all at the same time and I don't know how the place was running because the powerful negative energy emanating from this place was insane but all the other options were like expensive nauseating like healthy options or super huge lineups so steak people were going there and I never had it. And my boy RFK is all about it. So I was like, let's see what this is all about. So I head over and I do the order and they are all so slow to their stations to what

they're doing. It is harder and more physically exerting to move this slowly than to just exist and do it. and there's this, there's this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, walked up, like, you know, and angled in a way and put my forearm down in a way that, like, I'm ready to be, uh, I need some attention. Everything else was automated, but there's a person here. I need catch up.

I need ketchup. And so she's standing there and she, I'm waiting for her and she's on the phone. And then she, like, puts the phone down. She's on the text and doesn't turn to me. She's just looking straight. and I'm like, um, and she kind of turns at me, like turns her head out. And I'm like, can I get a catch up packet? Please.

How dare you? And she takes out her phone again and she starts texting and I'm standing there. And I'm like, it's mad loud here. She for sure did not hear me. Maybe I should say it again. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to say it again. She's texting.

I'm going to wait for her to be done texting. She put her phone away, stood there, to the perfect millisecond. I was literally about to be like, excuse me, can I get ketchup? Like I held out so long. It could have been like seven seconds

after her text ended that I was like, should I ask again? No. Shouldn't I? And I held it. And she, you could feel the energy from a person that I'm like about to be like,

and that's when she turned and grabbed me at ketchup. The whole thing was like four and a half minutes. It's aggressive. It was in she wasn't doing anything. there was people there, no one's and the slow movement's crazy. Dude, I had an opposite problem.

I'm at Coldstone Creamery. I've got my wife and kids. This is a long time ago. The kids are little. And this is an ice cream place. Probably everyone knows it. These employees, no one has loved their job more. They're going bonkers on how much they love this job.

It looks like Snow White is back there. Just like happily banging ice cream. dropping up Snickers. One of them breaks into song. Zippity doodah, right? Let the rest join, right? The other customers are smiling. They're so happy.

My kids are happy. Me, my grumpy ass is like, am I in crazy town this annoying? Why am I the only one annoyed by these fucking, like, it was like Snow White, the Seven Torses, happily making away, mining, doing their thing, singing their songs. And I'm like, I think. North Carolina Coldstone Creamery

Every cold stone does singing And those guys sing Like there's one of those Like there's one of those saw collars With shotgun shells Around their neck Like they're dancing

They're singing They're like Every single one you tip You went there People early days That was a thing Like it was a high spirit place that they would be

Doing shit like that But they don't hide I thought I just I just did a musical I agree, like every once in a while at Coldstone because they had good ice cream and they were always so generous with the topic. When they first came, when they first came on the scene, it was, it was like in Canada, it was a big deal. It was like, wow, yeah, we're going to Florida over the winter. I can't wait. Coldstone. She's going to be sick. We're going to be, we're going to be singing and dancing with the staff while they make our lucky charms ice cream.

Do one of my most gregarious friends worked at Coldstone? in high school and I would like occasionally go and get ice cream while he was there and he was the guy what he's describing where he just loved that job so he'd be like making somebody's you know snickers thing smashing everything in and he'd be unironically being like so what do you do like just like talking to people and in my head I was always even at 16 I was like man you got to get this fucking line moving brother like these people are work so hard to make the ice cream like I'm in my head thinking If this was Panera bread, they would have a Snickers bar chopping machine to make this more efficiently. But these guys have nothing but a pair of drywall spackle spreaders.

They're chopping shit up, doing everything manually on what I assume is a great. Every once in a while, they're like doing like Hippachi moves. And it's like, get it moving. For the love of God, stop bouncing. Like I'm not impressed. Just chop my fucking cookie dough up. I can go eat this in the corner and shame. Has there ever been a more fake skill than that shit the Habachi guys do when they're just clanging stuff?

Like, okay, if you make the little onion volcano nifty, if you like a shrimp, that's big, that's big. If you pick a shrimp into my uncle's mouth, I'll give you some applause, okay? You make that big whoosh of fire. Oh, hope a kid cries. But if you're just clanging them, I can do that. If you make something easy look hard, that's not a good skill. No, no. I like when they flick the egg up and they catch it multiple times.

with the spatula and then on the last one they catch it on the edge yeah yeah and like then they draw the heart with it and everything like that I'm that I'm cool with but sometimes it is clang get it clang clangety clang and I'm like you're not even aging I was like 16 we were at a hibachi place and it's obviously alcohol they're spraying in there to get the volcano and we're all clearly like 16 years old and one of my friends is like what is that and he's like oh alcohol vodka and we're like no it is and he goes open mouth And then he just sprayed like two shots worth of the vodka

into the 16 year olds now. That's a cool guy. That's a cool guy. Yeah. We had a Mexican at our Habachi place and I was always, there was like one Asian guy and one Mexican guy working that day. And I was like, please God, let us get the Asian.

I almost said like, can we get, you know, that guy? Because like this other, I just going to ruin the whole vibe. Get the guy in the, how do I say, the wooden sandals? Yeah. This other guy's making Berea over here. That's not what I came for. Yeah. It's, I remember once the exact thing where like, you know how they have their

habachi table set up or they're like, there's six or eight in that kind of habachi side of the restaurant. And it was all Asian guys. And then me and my friends were there. And a white guy came out. And it's like, I bet, I bet, you know, all the same tricks and everything. but this is this is souring my experience like if I went to do they even have Scandinavian restaurants if I went to a Scandinavian restaurant with like their weird raw fish that no one wants to eat

those wouldn't be successful restaurants and a Kenyan guy came out I'd be like well that come on let's let's have a little bit of a little bit of consistency here yeah I don't care for that I can embrace the culture we like our snape's looking snapely we like them looking everywhere but When you said the steak and shake thing, there has never been a restaurant where I've seen employees almost get in a fist fight, then steak and shake. Like we would go there late at night. I remember one specifically, me and my friend. Yeah, they started like screaming at each other. They're like, you don't you get in my face anymore.

And then words I can't say on the show. And then, but like I remember we were sitting there for like 15 minutes once. And they're like smash burgers at steak and shake. They cook quick. and me and my friends were like, man, this is taking a while. Usually steak and shake is pretty quick. And then I kind of like crammed my neck and looked back. And I'm like, I don't think the grill's on because there's no one staying there.

Nothing is being cooked. They're like aggressively taking forever on our meals as if we've inconvenienced them for being the one late night option near us. And when the food would come out, it would be good. I have full on meltdowns and make public scenes. over for a service. I find it like some part of me is like, are you disrespecting me individually? Because that's what it feels like. Instead of my mind going to, oh, this is a disrespectful person who's bad at their job. I'm like, you're singling me out, aren't you? That's what this is about. No, I'll be honest with you. I would never ever give someone a hard time outside of the accident

at the time. I would never give an employee a hard time at their job, even if they suck at it because people have their reasons. But I have been to McDonald's and Popeyes, fast food places that only in the U.S. Where I'm like, I, they're, I'm being attacked right now in a weird way. Can I just say you shouldn't be going to McDonald's for the service?

You're right. You're right. And you know what? I'm totally comfortable touching the roll. But like there I'm and I swear this is actually with the last time that I was out of McDonald's and yes I used the robot and then I stood waiting for the bag and I swear to God because the last time I shared a story the person was texting the person was just standing there and she was just texting and I saw my bag I could see the huge number labeled on it it matches my thing and I do not want

to inconvenience. So I literally stood there for three minutes and didn't make a sound. Too Canadian. Because I know what is going on, but I am saying I did genuinely feel like I was attacked because I wanted to just come to McDonald's and get McDonald's right now. I made a scene at a Zaxby's one time and I, a big scene and then I made a slightly smaller scene at an Outback steakhouse one time, like both times. Describe as Xxby's to me. I drove by it a lot, but I've never been inside. Zach's piece is delicious. So they have, they do chicken fingers, chicken wings, crinkle fries, toast. It's fast food and it's fast food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's pretty good fast food. Well, the establishment looked kind of

it looked like Culver's level. Yeah, they put a bunch of like shit on the walls in the, in the lobby and stuff, like a bunch of silly stuff. And they've got those old timey light bulbs and stuff. It's a, it's, it's pretty chill. I like it. They've got a lot of good sauces. They're hot wings are the best fast food hot wings there are. And, well, Would you say if I told you I hadn't had fast food in over a decade? I'd say I know, I know you're type. We'll see you look healthy so that checks. What are you like, uh, what,

you're in situations where people are having a good time chilling on the couch and you stand up. You're like, let's do something. Let's go for a walk. It's beautiful out. No, don't you never do that? No. I don't do that either.

I'm just thinking of every person that has not had fast food in 10 years, they're all that person. And they're actually close friends of mine. So it's not an insult or anything. But like, I'm just, I'm genuinely, genuinely stereotyping here. Here's my problem. I am an all or nothing person. I can tell you like right now, do I have to go to the cardiologist, right? Because my, I was getting tightness in my chest and shortness of breath.

and he was like, what's going on? Tell me, do you work out? I go do it on like six days a week. And he goes, what's your diet? And I told him. He goes, I'm missing something. What else is it?

And he goes, I told him, I go, well, I have like 15 zins a day and probably 24 ultras. And he goes, what? Wait, what ultras? Ultra, because I was trying to cut back on my zins. No, what's ultra? Ultra is zero ultra, right? Ultra is zero nickel. but it's caffeine, vitamin B, and something else.

And he was like, he said you... I thought it was zero ultra-all, I thought it was literally. I thought you're talking about this. No, it's like a pouch, but I put three in my mouth at the same time. He's drinking 24 beers a day. We all thought different things. I'm not good. So if I'm going to do fast food, I know I'm just going to eat nine bags of it.

I'm an incredible all extreme person, all or nothing. So I have to go nothing on some of that. So what's the diet then? What are you eating? I'm pretty healthy. You know, I eat me. Always cook at home. Always cook at home or you like you do eat out sometimes.

I eat out. Well, you say no fast food, but do you eat chilies? No. Well, you're fucking up then, dude.

Well, don't say with that derision. Like today, I did splurge a little bit. I had one of the best. I went to this F1 arcade here in Vegas and had one of the best smash burgers I've ever had. It was fucking amazing. One was splurging?

Dude. Okay. Again, if I can, if I can grow it or kill it or pull it out of the ground, I'll eat it. But I don't eat that of the shit. I'm sorry because I'm hearing a crackle again. Are you guys hearing that? No way. Yeah.

And I'm, oh, I just started hearing it. Yeah, I heard it. I'm like, is it me something? What about now? What about now? It's not as bad as it was before when you were crackling the last time he called it, but it is there. But it was perfect. It was perfect.

Again, you came in and it was totally fine. And then it started to do that. Am I crackling right now without the headphones? Yeah. Mother fuck. But you came in and it sounded totally perfect. Is your microphone on those headphones? I think Woody came back and fucked it up.

I'm going to meet myself. See if it changes anything. Hello? Hello? Hello? It's crackling. Motherfucker. Are you talking on a mic on a laptop or something?

No, I hopped off my laptop and I went to my phone. I don't know. I even changed rooms. I'm in my wife's. You changed rooms and computers and the crackling followed? That's crazy. What's the microphone? Well, before it was headphones.

and now it's non-headphones. This is a different microphone and they're both crackling. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I want to try one more thing. You see at the bottom, but you see at the bottom the little microphone icon. How many choices do you have there? Can you change that microphone?

No, now I just have one because I'm back on my phone. I'm going to try one more. Oh, okay, okay. I'm going to try one more. All right. Okay. And I was kind of, I was really enjoying that conversation we were having.

He's a professional communicator. Yeah. is he he's a comedian he was bringing uh bringing excellent energy to the conversation always yeah Woody, I've been looking for a new game, but I think I want to do an old game. I think I want to go back to Raft. Raft apparently has just been adding stuff every year for the last six years or whatever it's been. And I watched a Raft video last night. And I've got like all these new gadgets and gear I'd never seen before.

I'm going to get the boys together. Wait, can I? I want to see. Windros. Uh-uh. Yeah, Pirate game. But wait, wait, wait, before you guys, before you guys, I'm the guest, dude. Don't make faces.

I'm the guest. Come on. The fuck. You're mad that I want to talk. And you're going to like it anyways, dude. You're going to like it. He literally started the conversation. I know, but I know.

I know. I know. I know. I'm a guest. So let me, let me say something. Okay. And fuck,

fuck all your fans that are mad that I interrupted you. Oh, no, you're safe. They all are. Some of them do get mad. There are, when they do get mad,

they're really a type. But you're going to like this anyways. Because it is games. And I want to talk about this before it's not a game anymore. And it's, gone to time. So we should appreciate it while it's here. Marathon. I love Marathon. We didn't get to talk about it yet. Yeah, I love it. I think it's a great game. Uh, 50 something. Okay. Okay. I did miss the last two weeks because I went back to Arc Raiders to pack for

expedition again because I'm an idiot. But I've been playing marathon and it's such a, it's such an, well, you know, there's boomer shooters. This is an unc shooter. It feels like a new, Like, you're not quite boomers, but it is this game feels like it's for older sweats. Are you older than 34 years old, but still fancy yourself a beast at games? Do you think you could, you can go in and, you know, win big, lose big, go toe to toe in a game that feels like it's like Halo? You know, you are a type of gamer and there's not, there's not many of us. And I do think it is, it really, it appeals to me a lot. And maybe there was times in my life where this game would have appealed even more to me.

But I very much like it. I very much have fun playing. And I just have a feeling it's not always going to be there. So we have to cherish it. And I, I, it will be. They've, they've, they've promised to support it. And, like, they've got like a roadmap of shit they're going to do. It's going to, we've talked about it.

Do you play it also? No, but Woody's huge into it. So I've looked into it a good bit. Like it only sold a couple million copies on like a couple hundred million dollars worth of, you know, development cost. And then who knows what they marketed it for. So they're on the hook for a lot of money. It's a bad look. You know, people are getting fired in the game industry and in the film industry right now,

getting laid off replaced by AI. And this is a bad sign for man-made, you know, games that appeal to it just, to niche audiences, I suppose. I wish it would do better. I wish it would do better too. It is an amazing game. I'm playing it lately and just appreciating how good the maps are. Every corner of the map is just so well done.

Places to go and things to do like hide and considering it's such an old style of game in a way. It feels like Halo to me a lot. Like, I don't know, air conditioning units on the roof that seem to be there. on purpose for covers so that you can fight this approach down the hill and it's like oh my god this is no accident there are characters who have double jumps and he can like jump to roof or grapple or whatever and then i play a character that heals so i don't have the mobility that other people do triage yeah yeah and i'm like man it's almost like every time my teammate grapples to the roof smoothly and coolly there's some boxes stacked near this building that i could yeah almost keep up with him

They keep thinking of what I need again and again and again. I get into a fight indoors, outdoors, everywhere. And I'm like, these guys, did they playtest the dickens out of this thing to get every detail so perfect? It's blowing the way. Very thoughtful levels. And then you go to like places like even dire marsh. You're like, oh, yeah, this is a simple level. And then you realize it's not.

You get in the basement of it, the insides and outsides you can go to the angles that exist. Um, I've, you know, one tip for me that like just I remembered from back in the day for Halo and it did so much for how firefights end up for me in that, uh, always be up. Oh, and I know that's so obvious to every game, but this one like even more than ever, if you have a weaker gun, being a level above someone was such a big deal in. The kind of advantage you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. In this game, it's so just because like the time to kill of it and everything, if you could do it. Yeah, did you play since they updated it?

Yes. Yeah, I play every day. Yeah, the new carry system is pretty cool. That will mean nothing to most people. What is that? What is that? I didn't even know that exists. They just added a few little mechanics to add a bitter social element to the game.

So you could revive an enemy team? You could revive an enemy. There are used, there were always these revive health packs that I could drop for a downed opponent. But I am giving him one of my. my most precious resources. Now there are easier, more common items that you can't use to revive yourself, but you can use Mercy kit to revive the other team. And they're around the level quite a bit. Yeah, you'll find. I found a few in one run like three. Now, if I give you a mercy kit, I'm not really sacrificing anything. I can't use it on myself. So it incentivizes me to hand these

things out and make friends. If your team wins, that team stays together. Now you kind of have like a little crew that can win a map and you stay together automatically. Oh, wait. When you pick that guy up, he's on your team? No, those are different things. This is another social mechanic. When your team X-fills successfully, your team stays together. And now you roll to the next map together.

You don't lose all your friends every time. Oh, you're saying that like how it could stay together. Losing crews get, you know, reassembled. And there are a bunch of little things they've done to make that. Oh, if I help. you with your quests. This ranks up your factions, which is like different things that rank up your character and your vendors. If I help you with your quests, I get these carry points that I can buy for like guns or just reputation or whatever. I can buy a bunch of different things by

helping you with your quest. And that's a new system too. And I think, man, they did the load out, the free load out sponsored kit room. Thank God. Interesting about that. Free load out fuckers so much. right i'm in there rolling deep purple guns purple shields right i have hundreds of hours in this game and these fucking free kidders i have a slang for him a slur i call them freakers these fucking freakers want to ride my coattails and get their shit done get wins they're not risking anything they roll in there with their free kips they're worthless pieces of shit oftentimes with no mics riding on my coat tails to victory i hate fucking freakers but now there's a new map, a new sort of mode where everyone's on.

Fragots. There's a new like mode where you can only bring in free kids, and that's terrific. That's terrific. Now, there are fewer freakers infesting on my sweaty lobby. What they do is no one kills each other because you know that guy doesn't have anything. So they did a really smart. What I took from it was I thought that it incentivizes people to go do your mission. So you're in there with free kids.

I wipe the lobby in these freaker lobbies all the time. And we were like we were we were running to where we would hear gunfire and then like waiting. We were making noise. No one was pushing us. So I was like, I guess let's go do our missions. We're like doing our missions and shooting UESC. And there are guys out there.

But they're not really. They're doing something also in their halfway through their mission. So they don't push you because they know I have an overrun on me also, a white one. It's not anything. So they're not going to do it. I thought it was pushing that a little bit. Because they did say they wanted more casuals. I just like it.

If I'm playing during a time of day where I don't have any friends ready to play with me, I can drop in these freaker lobbies. I never bring a kid in. When I didn't have my friends, I never brought a kid in because I had too many times. Just some fucking losers. They run off. They run in two different directions.

And I'm like, oh, so I'm fucked now. The round is fun. I always have. kids. I have so much fucking money in that game at this point. Bill Gates is like, how'd you do that? You're playing against like dads who

have 90 minutes no, there's level based matchmaking which is fun. So I like I have some friends who are level but they are dads. Taylor's right. They are older. No, they're unemployed. They are the elite. They are old. They are old. Old and jobless.

I don't know where he's getting this. They're literally not. I find the game skews old. I think it's I think it's I think it's I think it appeals to older gamers. There are some, some, uh, some young bucks where,

you know, no, it's a sensitive young man. Okay. Someone's like 35 is a sensitive young man. 30. That's, I said 34 and up,

but like, yeah, 30, you're still a touch older now, you know, okay, okay. Well,

but I, I think, I think like if you're, you know, if you're a young dude and you have taste, you might, you might, be into the game.

But I've seen, even like I go to the community page on Reddit, and there's, uh, there's some girls being like, oh, I had great experiences in this game. I'll go,

I'll play. I'll talk. No one even talks that I'm a girl or mentions it. There's nothing weird said. Had multiple games. And I'm just like, these are like 40 year olds with a daughter. They're not,

you know what I mean? They're not like, uh, they're not hyped. And it's still a sweaty game, you know, but no one slurs like our creators. slurs. That game had

that game, I have not been called the N-word in that game a lot. I have not been such a slur fest since modern warfare, too. They call it slur-gators, like slur raters. It's our graders. Yeah, it's just, I don't know why. The proximity chat, I've never played a game with a proximity chat. Marathon has it. No one does that.

But they don't talk to each other very much. It's almost a rarity where I hear the other team saying, anything. Whereas in our graders, it's just nonstop. In Tarkov, it's 99% of the time, polite. Like, hey, man, what's going on? And you'll hear like another grown man, like on the other side of the building. Not much, dude, just, you know, got off work, trying to do, try to run these tasks. I need that golden zippo. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I kind of do, I guess. You play Rust. It's the opposite. It's people literally tag your base with swastikas. And it'll like, like the worst things you can imagine. Just in bombs everywhere.

entire base, it's like, oh, the Nazis live over there. They could do that? Oh, yeah. I like that about computer games, not the swastasas in particular, but I liked a computer game where people would use like the avatar creation system like in Battlefield to make a detailed anime picture or some shit like that. Oh, and Modern Worker, too. They would do.

Yeah, yeah, Battlefield did that. But like tagging the actual place or using your own custom tags is great. I mean, the swastika, it's funny that they keep it. They add spray paint, and then Rust also just already has, like, signs of different size. You can apply in picture frames, and you can use this tool to upload photographs from your hard drive on. It'll, like, paint them for you into the picture frames. So you put anything on there. Oh, trust me.

It should, you should have to paint it. If you're going to go Nazi mode or, like, hammer and sickle, you should have to, you should have to do it. Just a, like, people will have a big photo of the furor out on their front, and it's like, damn, that's, that looks legit. Like, I'm, I'm kind of on board, you know? Like, one of the developers are like, let them. Yeah. Oh, Rust is the Wild West.

Everybody's very having a scarecrow. They're like, this will keep people. This will keep them away. So, as you know, there's in-game art that you can make in rust. Peanut did a rush stream the last of two weeks. And they brought in, like, real artists. And they made an art gallery. And the stuff in there was so.

mind blowing. Like I was like took my breath away that like this is real art. Look at this eyeball they made. And then there were like in game sort of jokes about peanut and the stuff that if you watch a lot of streams, you'll understand the references. But it was so good and so talented. It blew me away. So they get all the streamers to come there and check it out. And they're looking at the art gallery. And then there's this button that says do not press. Big, clear, obvious. Do not press. It's a red button. they press it it's the red wedding episode man the door shut everyone gets locked in there are these Tesla coil shocking devices that murder everyone at the art gallery and it was a really good show it was fun you'd have to press it they peanut pressed it he's like should I he's like don't press it

it's clearly labeled do not press and that was all the bait he needed Josh you don't seem like a guy that plays games ever, right? I do not. I do not. He would get too into it. You'd get caught up in the grind. Your son keeps you a little connected probably, right? He plays a lot. He plays a lot. He's playing, you know?

I mean, he likes FIFA. Okay. And he likes my oldest son. He has a PlayStation. Yeah, and my oldest son who was in the service likes the first-person shooter stuff. but I like people I used to

the first gig I ever got was working I was a spokesperson for Nintendo and we sent out I don't know how old you guys are but if you remember a Nintendo game called Donkey Kong Country which was like the first

big move into different graphics and they sent a VHS tape out to people who had Nintendo and it was a half hour basically advertisement for the new game Donkey Kong Country. And that was, I did that. I did a bunch of stuff for Nintendo early on. Donkey Kong Country was crazy when it came out

because it was the Super Nintendo making like mock 3D looking characters and locations. It was really nuts. The graphics were fucking nuts. So I remember being on the Nintendo campus and, you know, walking through, it was the first time. time that I, you know, I had never done a deep dive into video games, but there was just

room to continue. There was just a room full of people trying, hitting every button in every possible, you know, order in every room to find glitches. And their whole job was to find glitches in the game. And I was like, how long do you stay in a room? And I did that. I did that job. Yeah, I worked for this company called Babel in Montreal. And, And you would go and you could do whatever you wanted. You were there for six hours. And they're like here, this level. And you just, you tried to break it.

You just did stuff. You just did shit. Do you remember, dude? You and I have met. You were on my TV show. Yeah. Shark Week. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Did you succeed in breaking? That's what we call my girlfriend's period. Zing. Because he goes sniffing for that blood when he's hungry is what he meant. Well, and there the blood comes from her vagina. Let's not be gross,

heart. Let's just say he wants a little snack here. Let's say he wants strawberry cream pie. High class podcast. Yeah. Come on. You guys know, you know Kyle's subreddit.

Anyway, I almost shit my pants the other day. But no, made it, made it to the bathroom. We were fine. By the way, Harley, I was going to tell you, man, I was just in Toronto.

And just being there for three days, the service industry in Canada is so different than the service industry here. You know, when they're so. It's, they're so nice. It's like they actually want to be at their job. That's funny because, yeah. When I was in Toronto, when I was in Toronto, when I was living, there. I found that the people at their jobs, they meant it, but oftentimes they were, like, it's weird. Do we do it cashing people out at a register? I don't want to judge or score someone,

but I am aware when I get to the cash, because like when I analyze the lines, I quickly make judgments of which one I'm choosing. And then when I commit to a line, I really do like to look at the cash people working the registers now and then I'm like oh I picked bad this guy's fucking this guy's slow but I'm never like I never felt like I was personally being attacked like someone texting in front of me I'm just like oh look at this guy well the doesn't know where the barcode is I'm like that girl knows where the barcode is on every item she's picking it up and she knows where the barcode is this guy's turning everything around and looking at all sides before he ends up on the barcode I'm going to be here for a whole extra

minute and a half when my line is shorter but yeah Toronto that's the Toronto mushroom stores knew their shit I couldn't believe there were mushroom stores yeah what's funny is they have mushroom stores you can go in there and just buy hallucinogenic mushrooms casually like it and they sell them like like it's iPods they're in the glass there and it's like really yeah it looks like an apple store it no then the coffee come in two weeks and shut it down and close all the inventory up. No, but it's a weird place where then they open it again. Oh.

There's a storefront. The name of the store was shroomies, so they weren't hiding anything. I knew on Shroom Bros. I think it was called. And yeah, no, the glass had like hallucinogenic mushrooms painted on it, like cool, trippy mushrooms. I flew back with 35 grand. You can't do that, though.

But I did. My son was like, what if you get busted? And I said, listen. What are you a cop? Listen, if I get busted, it'll be the best thing that's ever happened to my career. So here's the two things that happened. Either I get busted and it's the best thing that happened to my career or I end up with 35 grams of mushrooms. It's like a win-win.

It's a scenario for me, you know? No losing that. Where do I want to fly anyways? Where do I want to fly? Yeah. What if you got like a fly list? Yeah, you do. But so what?

Where are you going? Where are you flying? Where have you flown this year, Woody? I'm not a good example. But Josh flies a lot. Yeah, but they put me on a no fly list. Fly within fly within the US. They wouldn't do a no fly list for mushrooms.

Nah. Canada is interesting, though, with not letting Americans back in. Harley, okay, the first time I flew into Canada, the people working the border were so nice. It tricked me. So I walked up and the guy was like, hey, how are you? Because it's so different than the U.S., I was like, I'm good. And they said, great, what are you doing here?

I said, oh, I'm doing stand-up comedy. And the guy was like, oh, I love stand-up comedy. I said, thanks. And he goes, I hope you have some great shows. And I said, I appreciate that. He goes, where are you playing? And I told him, he goes, maybe I'll come see a show. I said, great.

And he said, so do you have anything you want to declare? And he was so nice. I was like, yeah. He goes, what do you got? I go, I got some edibles. He goes, oh, how many? I go just four. He goes, great.

I said, great. He goes, do me favor. Just walk down that hallway. And I was like, okay. He's like, that guy's, I got to check that guy's show out. Yo, I got another one. He was going down the hallway. And I said, cool.

And I walked down the hallway. I walked into a room and the guy goes, hey, and I go, hey. And he goes, you know the guy with the other. I'm. And he goes, you want to sit down? I was like, sure. And he said to me, he goes, let's see what you got. And I showed him.

And he goes, is that it? I go, yeah. And he took him and he just shoot him off the table into a drawer and shut it. And I go, oh, no, I go, those are mine. It used to be. And he said, no, no, we can't let you bring him into the country. And I was like, but I declared him. And he goes, yeah, I know.

He goes, that's why you're still coming into the country. Yeah, yeah. But he was so nice about it. I was just like, oh, this is where we go smoke weed together. Me and his dude. You declared an illegal thing. And then they were so nice, dude. No, they, it's, you find out that job is extremely discretion-based.

Yeah. Jobs, a lot of jobs. I mean, every job is. I mean, like, when I taught, I found out that that job is very discretion-based. I'm doing it. I'm marking. Like, I have a rubric of how the marking goes,

but I do know I can judge in my brain the effort that one student put in versus another student, whatever. These border agents, they have discretion to decide how honest you were, what you brought in, why you're here, and they judge it all out. And they're like, you're good to go. Someone else might bring in edibles, but they lied about it. And they got a random, they got randomly pulled over. And they have edibles and they're sent back. You're not coming in this

time. You're going back. Is it not legal in Canada? It is, but there's some things you just can't fly with. I don't know. I'm with edibles. I don't know exactly the rules. I'm thinking, let's say, if we use shrooms as an example, they just still have the discretion to make the call themselves based on what you did, who you are. Is it matter where you're landing? Is weed legal in every province in Canada? I'm pretty sure it's legal in every province. I'm almost certain it is, yeah.

I noticed he didn't sweep the edibles into a trash can. He put them in his drawer. Like, put it in his pocket. These are going in the trash as soon as I find one. They were 200 milligram edibles, and they don't sell those where I was going. So the guy was like, these look good. 200 a pop?

That is a whopping. He's like, this is enough edible for a month of getting high. You take a full of 200? Yeah, what dose do you do? Guys, I take three grams of mushrooms before my Friday night late show. Wow. And any weed with that or just the tree? Yeah, the weed is to kind of me out.

So I'll take like probably 50 milligrams just to me out. while I'm on stage. That's so much. But. God damn. There's no way I could perform on three grams of mushrooms. I would. I'd be like, hey, hey, anybody else need to go to the hospital?

Woody. I just put a clip on my Instagram where I was high on mushrooms and I was trying to put the water cap in the bottle back on the microphone. I don't know. came from there. And I looked up because I was like, oh, maybe the audience didn't see it, but I'm like, of course they saw it.

I'm standing in front of them, and they're all staring at me, you know? I was like, did you guys see that? And they were like, yeah. And they can hear it because it was like, those little remnants serrated edges, just crisping across. Way back in the day,

we went. went to uh we were in uh me muscles glasses and tyler we were guys from epic miltime we were in uh ken block video rip and he uh he didn't like our shoes and was like you guys can go to the dc flagship store take everything you want everything literally like anything you could literally take i was like the whole store and he was like actually if you can yeah um and we went and uh i got there and i saw right away like a snowboard luggage bag, which I still used, this big DC bag. And I was just putting shoes and shit in it, shirts, tons of stuff, everything, like, loading it up.

We're all grabbing luggage and packing it up. And we'd be going pack it up. And we're heading back. I, before I left, I went to the woman. I was like, I need the receipt saying that this is free because otherwise you, you have to pay to bring it in, you know, the duty of it. So she printed me out of receipt that it was all. all the items that they were zero.

And then when we went through, it asks how much you spent. And I said zero. And then when we went through, we got pulled over into the other room. And we went in there and he was, he was like, what is all this stuff?

This is brand new. And I was like, why have the receipt of zero dollars? And he was like, this is $15,000 of value though. It doesn't matter that it was discounted. No. You have to pay duty of $15,000.

just like 50%. So like, so I would have to pay 7,500 or I just don't, I leave this stuff here. And I was like, oh, that sucks. Um,

I guess leave it. And he was like, you know, unless, uh, let's tell me how much you love Jack Daniels. And it wasn't, it wasn't exactly those words,

but he basically did like a dance for me monkey thing. Yeah. and I was all like Oh, muscles glasses suck all your dicks right now for the guy I used to get

muscles glasses puts on the aviators and cross you guys were like it was peak the channel and we get all our stuff we got to leave with it

and then they were like all right get the hell out of here yeah that's awesome yeah and we got to leave with them

when when my wife and I were getting married we had zero dollars and zero cents and she's great at starting businesses and figuring out and great with fashion and visuals and a friend of ours had come back from Mexico with this belt buckle.

My wife was like, you know, I think we could do some, we could mess around with that belt buckle and make some money with it. And it was like a belt buckle that had some abalone on the outside and had like dried flowers or you could put, we put scorpions and tarantulas, right? And we had the people, we went to Mexico, and we found these guys who could make the belt buckles for us and put whatever we wanted in the belt buckle. And we were, okay, we made them with the belt, right?

Because they would make the belt in Mexico too. Buckle and belt $12, my cost. Fred Siegel sold them for $350. Damn. Right. So we, the upsell was crazy because somebody in the fashion industry told me in L.A. You can either sell this for 20 or 400. People in LA either want to feel like they got a bargain or they want to feel like nobody else can get it, but they don't want anything in between.

So we chose the 400. So one time, we had an order for 150, 75 women's belts, 75 men's guns. We're driving back across the border. We had never been pulled over before. And the guy goes, you have anything to declare? I go, no. And he goes, you're not reselling anything. I go, no.

And he goes, pull over. We're going to check the minivan. I go, okay. And he pulls over and in the back, he finds 75 and 75. And he goes, how do you explain these? And I said to him, I go, they're wedding gifts, 75 women, 75 men. And he couldn't disprove me, right? And he goes, you don't mind if we search the van, do you?

I go, not, not at all. Before we had left, my wife and I had gotten into a fight. She was like, I take this price list. I go, I don't need it. And she goes, you need to know how much I cost. I go, I know where's the cost? I go every week. She goes, take the fucking list.

I go out, I want the fucking list. And she had crumpled up the paper and thrown it at. So this guy finds this crumpled up price list in the back, one of the guys that works for him, brings it back to me and goes, what's this? And I was like, oh, no. And the guy at the board has said to me, you get two options. I arrest you right now. Or you take these back to where you got them. and drop them off.

He said, because if you drive back across the border, I'm going to search this van. And if these belt buckles are in the van, I'm going to arrest you, and I'm taking the van. And I was like, well, how much will it cost me to get the van out? He goes, no, no, no, no. I'm taking the van.

Yeah. He was like, oh, like, I don't get the van. He was like, no, you don't get the van. And good luck at the jail, basically. Doesn't that feel like a bluff? I'd be like so. there's no way this guy

did not feel like a bluff at the Mexican border you just go to a different border you think you think did you consider that I also

have a gun I'm trying to find it is my math right is that is that $60,000 worth of belt buckles yeah I hope you told you

why I'm like hey great idea with the list glad you you threw that piece of evidence in there. I would have done like Mac from Always Sunny.

Like, wait, what is that? I was, swallow that shit right down. I was so, she was like, look, you're going to get these belts and belt vocals across the border. We need this for the wedding. She goes, let me make a phone call. She calls her sister-in-law,

who runs a lot of nursing homes in Southern California. Somebody who worked at one of the nursing homes, told her, don't worry about it. Tell him, drive to Rosarita, wait at tacos Locos or whatever it was called, and wait for a guy named Pedro. And I was like, oh, I'm getting killed tonight. I'm getting, I'm, you want me to drive and wait for Pedro? Like, he knows that I've got, he's a bell buckle coyote. But I did. We went, I was with my buddy. We went and sat and waited for Pedro. And he showed up. And it was, and it was

the shadiest thing, but just for bell buckles. And he goes, you have the buckles. I said, I do. And he said, do you have $250 American? And I said, yeah, and that wasn't part of the deal. And he was like, it is now. I said, cool. Yes, Pedro.

And I drove across the border. I guess he did because he met me in San Diego, but it was bananas. I didn't know that they could just take my vehicle. Yeah. Game wardens can do that. Like here, if you were driving in your truck, on some backcountry road and you saw a deer

and you shine a spotlight on that deer to blind it and make it illuminate and then you killed it from your truck. You've committed like three or four crimes and in the commission of those crimes you've utilized that truck. So regardless of its value, $100,000 truck, whatever,

they're taking it. They're also taking your gun. They're taking all the guns in the car. They get it forever? Yeah, it's theirs. Yeah, yeah. They try, it's their goal. They will try to wrap somebody up and put them together on false allegations,

especially if they've got like a nice new vehicle because they can just take it. Holy shit. That's a game warden. Oh, game wardens are, I dealt with so many corrupt game wardens just harassing us daily stalking us. Like he would be in the general area listening for the gunshot. And then he'd rush to the scene of the hunt to like, let me see your license. It's like you looked at it yesterday. and the day before and the day before and the day before.

Why are you bothering us? Like he's like looking at the back of my dad's truck. Is that a quail? Like no, it's an old crusty dead baby chicken. Like we have a chicken farm. Like look like a quail for a minute. Well, it's not. What are you doing to us right now?

Leave us alone. Yellow quail. Oh, it was like it had turned into a tiny little crusty skeleton back there. Quail, that's just a bald eagle. Leave me alone. It's a big. They will get mad at that. Like if you hunt, it's a big, scary deal if you accidentally even, like, break one of the rules or laws.

We were dove hunting and some gibboni. When you dove hunt, it's like a bunch of people in a field. And the dove has no chance when he flies over. Because if I miss, my buddy's going to hit it. And if he misses, like, we're all out in the field shooting. And some dummy, some jabroney shoots a hawk down. They're a federally protected species. It becomes a whole rigamarole.

and everybody's art the guy who actually shot it is like what me and we're like we all saw you shot it shoot it get the evidence and go like finally one guy like rides over on an at tv and like grabs the dead body of the hawk and like throws in the bushes somewhere it wasn't five minutes later till the game warden was there like checking everything like just looking meticulously for any little infraction um some of them are like kind of chill that one that day was chill my buddy was pretty drunk next to me hunting birds and he's like hey should probably go take a break up there and get some water huh he's like yeah I think I am a little thirsty

like you lock it up and what happens if they had caught if they had seen that you had shot a hawk or whatever they'd have shut down the whole field we'd have all been held for questioning someone would have admitted to shooting that hawk and if they didn't the property owner probably would have been charged with like a number of I don't know if they're crimes per se, but serious infractions that would come with definitely fines, like big

thousands and thousands of dollars. Was it even a good hawk? Like a nice one? He's a red-tailed hawk, you know? And he's a dummy for not being able to tell the difference. Dubs are very distinctive. Oh, he did. I thought you meant he missed a dove and a hawk was nearby.

He intentionally shot a hawk. He didn't know it was a hawk when he shot it because he wasn't much of a hunter. They look so different than doves. Dubs are very distinctive, their head, their wings, their tail, like, like, like, You know it. If you hunt doves, you're like, because I've dove on it as well. And there's no chance I'd be like, I was wondering if I would know. I'd ever seen. You'd know.

I was wondering if I would know a hawk, but I definitely would know what is not a dove. After me showing you once, you'd be like, oh, now I know forever. That will never be a mistake I make. It's like the difference between a fucking a penguin and an ostrich or something like that. It's like, okay, I won't get those mixed up, even when it's flying. But yeah, he would have been a big trouble. I had a friend of a friend who got caught hunting out of season and instead of just surrendering, you know, like a normal person were due,

he pointed his gun at the game warden. No. Whoa. The gun at the game warden. Yeah. They hate that. He was jail. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That was, um, can you remember his name? They hate it. If you're a gun guy, you know, that's largely frowned upon. He like drew down on the game warden and it became this whole thing. So what happens? Don't you get it? Isn't that like serious?

Yeah, he went jail. That's jail for that. He'd been to jail before though. So like he didn't care. Like this guy, he had spent like a lot of his, about not aiming your gun at someone.

He had spent a lot of his youth in like youth detention centers and like really scary places. A lot of dead hunts in his past. Probably. And I just remember he carried a like a steak knife, like a wood-handled steak that you would use to cut up your steak, like not a big one, but he carried it in his truck, and he had it wedged like where the odometer is

so that he could stab people. He liked to stab people. Oh, like it still said to like this roadhouse. I remember one time he's like, I love stabbing people. Ain't nothing like it. I stabbed this guy one time in the lockup down and making. Oh, it felt good.

When that knife goes in and he screamed, and it's like, Jesus, fucking Christ, Scott, who are your friends? It's as sweet as blowing the head off the hawk. You think you'd like stabbing someone? If you're mad at them? No. I mean, I guess if you were mad at them, yeah,

you'd like to do anything off. I think it would be really upsetting. To get stabbed? In my head. To stab. Oh, I'd rather hit them with a hammer. I want to feel like the impact. I feel like a knife might just slip in and out.

but like I if I really want to hurt somebody I think I'd like to use a cudgel like something where I can feel the funk and I want some noises you know I want to hit them with a hammer would be great I'm more of a strongly worded email type of guy that's that's hard that's that's my move I think I might even be a phone call I might throw some all caps in my email though Harley that's crazy I might block someone if they did that. I might use words as extreme as unacceptable, unprofessional. Excessive. Have you seen those people who go to Home Depot and they get the $1,000 items that are accidentally marked wrong for a penny? And Home Depot policy is they have to sell the item. So this guy goes in. Wait, what are these items? What home depot are air conditioning? Are they accidentally doing this? Thirteen hundred dollar air conditioners. The guy got two of them. and he self-checks out

two cents and he's like quelling him out and they're like, no, no, no, you can't do this. No, no! And he's like, go ask your manager. It's almost like a First Amendment auditor. The manager comes over and she's like, have a nice day. There's nothing they can do.

He just wheels out as shit. If I return those, do I return them for the penny or for the $1,300? Or the penny, I would imagine. No, no. I would think that if you did. didn't have your receipt. You'd get store credit for 1300. You need to prove that you'd bought it there, though, and that you didn't get it just anywhere, any old place. But I see your, I see your point here. Home Depot's got a really good return policy. I got a water heater there one time. Statute of limitations is up. And it was a, it was a very electronic heavy water heater, which was new to both me and my dad. We'd always had old school ones that was mostly just knobs and buttons and shit. They had this digital display. And while installing it, It got very wet and we ruined it.

And I was like, let's just put this motherfucker back in the box and take it back. And they just took it back. They just took it back immediately. I got a different water heater that didn't have all that digital shit. And it was a good day. I love places that have good customer service and good return. And if you keep behaving that way, that'll certainly be a continued policy. I mean, my wife ordered a couch once.

I forget from where. And she was like, this is the right couch. And she called people. and she was like they were like we'll send you to the couch and she said what do you want me to do with this couch and I guess maybe it's too much of a hassle for them to come get it they were like whatever just we're not going to come get it so do whatever you want with it and I was like what fucking scam that is yeah I don't ask you to just they will be the first item and send you a photo so get this I bought a kitchen table and it was like you had to assemble it at home you put the legs

on and stuff. And it was missing like two washers and one nut. So we write them a letter. Say, hey, you know, can you send us a little package with these washers and nuts? They sent us another kitchen table and said to deal with the old one on our own. Wow. What are these free? Sometimes they'll make you like destroy the item before. Way fair. I've had them do another one. I've had them do that before. And I think I don't remember exactly what happened with my smoker, that Trigger smoker I bought. But I got something had something good happened there where like. They refunded it and said to keep. it. Yeah, they were funded it and said to keep it. That's what happened. Yeah, that was all that. That shows you how much money that companies are making. It's Amazon shipping on large items in particular. Like the pickup doesn't make financial sense for them. Yeah. It's crazy to think that they so I mean, you could really game the system and get a couple couches for your house two for one easy. Yeah, I've never abused. I've never abused the Amazon return policy or even like the Instacart DoorDash policies,

but every time there's been a fuck up, they've taken care of it. Like if a bunch of stuff, one time I ordered some expensive steaks and they showed up and they literally smelled like shit. Like smelled rotten, like, like doodoo. And I'm like, hey, I've got a small problem.

These steaks have gone bad. And they're like, could you describe the issue? I was like, they smell like feces. Oh no. That is what you get for eating a holy animal, you piece of shit. I think Amazon thinks I scam them because they stop taking my returns. I have this particular creamer that I like for my coffee.

It's this almond creamer that tastes good, but is still low calorie. Cool. And they keep shipping me one with a similar name. Like it's the same people make it, but it's not the same creamer. And the box is a different color and the name is close, but that's not it. So, you know, we're like, we'll send you a picture. This is what came in. It's not the one we want.

It's not the one I. And I was check it. Maybe it's me who made the mistake. It's not. It's not. So at first they were like refunding it because they don't take food back. And after a while, like they're onto my scam where like they keep sending me the wrong one. And I keep going for the refund and they're like not this time.

And I was like, but it's you making the mistake. You're sending the wrong one. And I think this is Amazon. They have like famous customer service. It doesn't even seem like a scam. Seems like they sent you the wrong thing. Repeatedly. They keep sending me a similar cream that I don't even like.

We throw it away. I don't like it. And it sucks. The most expensive thing I think Amazon has done was that like Android watch I got. It was like $400. I was so psyched to get it. It was part of my like fitness routine. It was going to, like, track so many things for me.

And it had been stolen out of the box. Like the package came and the box within the box was empty. Like the Android box itself had been pilfered. and they were just like, oh, that's terrible. Would you like a new one overnighted, or would you like your $400 back? I'm like, that's awesome. Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow works.

Great. I was so happy. Like moments like that make me like a Jeff Bezos stooge in a way. Like forever, I'm like, man, I like this company. Walmart never did me that good. Like Walmart wouldn't treat me like that like that. Shout out of Amazon. We ordered something from Amazon.

And when I woke up in the morning, the box was, was open on my front step and the boxes in the box were open, but they didn't steal anything. Apparently they didn't want what we. And I was just like, I felt a little. I was like, wait a second. What's wrong with my stuff that you went through it and you're like, nah, this is not. No, I don't want any. Man, another rice cooker.

I don't need this. I did the same thing with Amazon a while back where I, like, they said it was delivered. they showed a picture of it on the porch as they often do. And I'm like, that is not my porch. Like, I don't know whose porch that is, but they delivered it to someone else. And so I went on there and I was like, reason for refund. Item didn't arrive. And it's like, do you have a picture?

And it's like, obviously not. Do you want a picture of my empty porch? Like, where it does that? They're like, send the picture of the item. It was maybe like it was maybe two hours after I had done that, that a well, meaning neighbor saw they had been misdelivered my package and they and so then I had two of the item and I you know I was too embarrassed to go back to Amazon and be like I didn't really fuck up but you know we're we're all in the wrong here in a way I've had to do that awkward neighborhood

jaunt looking up from my like photo that they've sent me to like neighborhood stoops like trying to match the the the porch and then one time I like I ordered like dinner for like me and my girlfriend through DoorDash and I'm like, oh, that's the neighbor's place. They took it. They took it. They took it. I had to deliver something from my front porch to a neighbor today because I got a few things from Amazon. But I was like, I was in the mode of ripping open the boxes looking for these yard flags I needed. And I ripped one thing open and I was like, command strips. Why would I need a giant like almost industrial size box of command strips, those things you use to hang stuff on the wall that doesn't like go in.

Apparently they're great. And then I checked the package and it was my next door neighbor. And I was like, oh, well, I can't put it back in the package, but I haven't opened his main thing. And so then I kind of like jogged across the lawn, put it on his front stoop and was like, maybe he'll think they just didn't use a package this time. And then I went back. And then I checked later. They did grab it. And so all is welled it. ends well. I always just saw the packages open. Like I tore the packages open one time and there were all these like books for retarded children. And I was like, oh no, this is definitely not me. Yeah, you didn't. You didn't order those. I didn't order those. And then the neighbor comes looking for their retarded child books. And I don't know why I lied. I don't. I felt guilty for opening the package, I guess, or like I'd done

something wrong and it just automatically denied it. But then as soon as he left, I was like, but now he doesn't have his retarded child books. And hey, Before you go, I happen to have all those. Let me go to my library. I barely even, you know, I've actually got these on audio, but I listen to everybody boops an audiobook now. So you can. What's the happy ending to the story is.

Now Kyle reads on a third grade level. They were literally books for developmentally disabled children, like how to like deal with that. Yeah. The classics like, don't touch that socket. It was literally. like educational books for retarded children, which they probably

severely needed because of their child. But I was, I just automatically denied I felt really bad about it. I thought about slipping them into the mailbox, but they got fucking ring cameras and shit. I don't like the ring cameras. Did you at least read the books? Yeah, I, you know, I, I've flipped through them. Learned a few things, honestly. A few social skills.

You be in that law. My, uh, my neighbor my neighbor down the other street is the same address as me. Like I'm 54 and they're also 54 and it's the it's we're both right close to the corner of the streets. And there's been many times where a delivery will be like your Uber Eats was delivered and they take a picture of not my door. And I spoke to that person and we just kind of have like a thing going where food might just appear there. You could take it. I'm going another one anyways.

Uber made the mistake. Bring me, send me, send me a brand new one. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I gotta go there. I gotta leave head over to his place, walk down there, end up on his, actually, which I don't like, ending up on his ring camera, picking up my fucking order for three people just for me. It's like me picking up a huge brown bag

that has grease stains on the outside of it. Have you ever ordered? I don't need someone having a montage of that. also time coded like the time that I'm going to get it. Do you have you ever ordered like a sad solo meal off DoorDash and they bring like three forks?

Yes. I have never ever delivered something that didn't come with at least. It's like this Chinese restaurant couldn't fathom that I plan to eat. So many fortune cookies. What do they think? There's four fortune cookies in here.

You know what I like about? You know what I like? about Chinese places, like real Chinese place. If you, if you like something like a particular sauce and you want more of it, they don't always just give it to you because you want it. Even if you want to buy it, they're like, they're like too much, that's too much for you.

I've mentioned it on the show multiple times. It's not good. Not good. Too much for you. I won't harp on it too much. I've literally been like, I'll buy, can I buy more sauce? Not good. This fantastic Chinese place I get through DoorDash on occasion,

because that's the only way to get. get them delivered. On occasion, Kyle, don't you roll your eyes? Like Mondays and Tuesdays? You know, weekdays. And, you know, I order it. And then they have no option. They do have an option for all the sauces and seasonings if you want the extra

chili thing. And I swear to God, every time, they're the only place I order that does this. They call my phone afterward. And this guy's like, uh, you, Taylor, what sauce you want? And I'm like, I want four chili powders and I want three sweet and sours and I want two hot sauces. And he goes, four chili powder, three sweet sour, two hot sauce. And I'm like, yes, they've never once delivered any of the things. Why even call me?

I bought. Because it's not good for you. You know, we get judged. And when I was in Amsterdam, I was in the back of a cab and this guy looks in the rear view and he says to me, where are you from? and I go, I'm American. He goes, nah. I go, yeah, I'm American. He goes, I would have never guessed.

And I said, why do you say that? And he said, because usually Americans' faces are so fucking fat. And I was like, whoa. I said, what? He goes, yeah, I can tell Americans because your faces are so fat. He goes, you have a real thin face for an American. I was like, I'd never thought of that before. He goes, yeah, you are wrong.

Yeah, I have that. See, they go, you're American, right? No, I'm just an overeating Canadian. Throw that in my bag. I can feel a little bad. That's my bit. Kyle? Oh.

I've been chomping at the bit for this game suggestion. You said you were going to play Raft. I haven't played this, but I've been watching it, and it's the new hotness. It's called Wind Rose. The year is 1750. It's a pre-release game. it's not finished yet. It takes about 60 hours. You start off as kind of a bum on the beach with a

dream. And like one of the first things you do is you break into a prison and free every, all the prisoners, and these will become your pirate crew. Then you and your prisoners go into the forest, you chop down some trees and stuff, and then you find a shipwreck and repair it. And then the game is like Sea of Thieves with combat, PVP, co-op play, etc. trip and you take your pirate ship to the oceans and start fucking shit up. I think you might like it. Yeah, I'm looking at it

right now. This looks fun. It looks a bit like C of Thieves, better than C of Thieves, honestly, because C of These is quite cartoonish. But yeah, this looks pretty fun. I would research. I haven't played it. It's actually like, remember that game that came out by Ubisoft, Skull and

Bones, and they were like, quadruplea, we're charging so much. And it was some game you spent in the boat the whole time or on Ubisoft menu systems cluttered and ugly This game. Yeah, and this game is a double A game And it kind of is doing what like hell divers did and

Arc Raiders did where it's a double a game. It's not full price. I don't know what the price of Winrose is, but these double a game. It's 30. Yeah, and it's like Expedition 33. These games, these double A games have come and fucked up the industry. And it's so important

because everyone was really focused on chasing Fortnite or then they tried to jump on the extraction shooter thing. And they're really trying to find that. And I feel like a game like this where it's just people doing what the gamers want. And I've had this with Crimson Desert. It came out. It's not a publisher that I was really familiar with.

I never played Black Desert online. And it's, it's just like a huge single player, super full single player experience. And I feel like we needed this. I feel like the game industry was, it was getting really ugly. It probably I feel like peaked out. Maybe Anthem was the beginning of the reckoning, but it's been years in the making.

And it seems the tools for AA companies are getting better because I'm not a pirate guy. And I'm not like, oh, the pirate genre is underwrecked. represented it and I would love to. But black flags like my favorite Assassin's Creed. And this game just actually looked really compelling. It looked good. I was like, oh, I'd fuck with that pirate game.

What's a double A game? What's that mean? Not like in the, I guess, 100 million bigger. Maybe the development team is like 60 people, not like 300. Don't quote me on any of these numbers, but that's how it's been operating in my head canon of what it is. Expedition 33 is a prime example. As soon as I played that, I played maybe three hours.

And I was like, I came back on here and I was like, that's the game of the year. That's the game of the year. That's the coolest game I've played in so long. That's so different. And it did. One game of the year, Expedition 33 is tremendous. I love hell divers too. Yeah.

I played a ton of sea of thieves, but it was hard to get my friends, like, invested in it. They didn't want to live the pirate life, I guess. I like just cruising in the ship and all of us playing our instruments and sailing and fighting a cracking and stuff. I really enjoyed all that shit. I'm looking for something new, like I said. Multiplayer? I like it when it's co-op.

Yeah, I don't necessarily need to play a game like Marathon, like an extraction shooter or a shooter in general, but I like it when we're all chipping in our own way. Even if we're all not clicking on heads, like if we really need a guy who will just stay back and organize and like catalog things or whatever, I like that there's a lot of busy work, a lot of time invested, and a game progression is super important to me.

Like I always want to be earning and getting that new thing, but I don't want to be so far out of reach that it's impossible that I'm going to burn out before I ever get it. Battlefield 6 said that issue where it's like, oh my God, like to platinum this weapon or whatever, it's like 100 hours on just one weapon. That's crazy town. But like I've been playing phasmophobia a ton recently.

I've played like 100 hours in a week or something like that. I really like that. I played that new, that's not new, but back rooms escape together. I think it's called that. That was, we should play that. That was hilarious that game. I think you played a different one than I played. There's a couple of them.

I think I played escape from the back rooms or something like that. Yeah, they're all, they're all funny little jumbles of words to say back rooms and escape. But I played backrooms escape together, I remember, because I remember I bought the wrong one and refunded it. There's literally 5,000 backrooms. games on Steam. Yeah. Charlie was talking about how people have shifted away from AAA. I don't share the hate against AAA games.

I worry that we're moving towards a like sort of era in gaming where AAA is dead. And like I like Marathon. I like how well done that is. I can see the $200, $250 million budget that put that together. And they sold it to me for 40. I love it. Grand Theft Auto is the budget on that? at $2 billion?

Is the, but isn't it? There's, and they're in a rough spot because there is no way for GTA6 to stand up to expectations. There's no way. I'm so happy. It's not my job. I'm so happy it's not my job to make that game.

Josh, I know you're not a gamer, but GTA5 came out in 2011. I googled it. It's a fact check myself. It said between two and three billion. It's the most expensive game ever made because GTA 5, which came out in like 2011.

2012, if I want to say. Something like that. Something like that. So, decade and a half ago, and now they're trying to follow it up. And with the biggest best GTA ever, people's expectations are going to be out of line. There's no way they match up. How much did GTA 5 make for them to spend two or three billion on this? More than two or three billion. A crazy amount.

One of the highest selling games ever. And beyond that, there were a lot of like the people who really enjoyed the game, which seemed to be everyone. I didn't play much. Would spend more in-game money, you know, for in-game ice. and stuff. They paid 60 bucks for the game and then another $60 for stuff in the game. But Woody, where does that, like, if you're spending $2 billion on a game, where does that money go as all development? No, there's some marketing in there and there's buildings and whatever. Like, it's a big company that makes it.

But it's a lot of its development. And what's going to drop is a really polished game in a really big city, a huge environment where so much of that environment. was like you watch a movie you sort of absorb it once maybe more than once and that's it real surface level in a video game gamers push up against every single wall they lift every rock they see every jump angle it is hard to get a game right because people are going to spend a thousand hours inspecting it for mistakes and there'll be millions of people doing that so i like a really well thought out triple a smash hit game game and the fans seem to be moving away from that. And aren't they, isn't they going to be the first game that's like a hundred bucks? They haven't announced the price, but I think you're right. Well, I thought, I thought that Ubisoft game I referenced was more expensive. I thought that was a $99 game. My little world, bones.

Games have shifted, like Marathon was 40 bucks. Our graders was 40 bucks. I thought games were getting cheaper, which is wild. But GTA is going to be expensive. I like the indie game market because it's putting pressure on the AAA guys. We were playing burglary gnomes this week. Burglumon Nomes is a free demo, and it's so fun. It's so fun.

You play that you and your buddies are all cute little gnomes burgling an old man's house. And he like captures you and he'll put you in the oven or in the freezer. Or if you make him mad enough, he comes out with a handgun and just starts blasting. I've seen hilarious videos of this game. I bet you've seen that smit guys or smitty guys video or something when him and his boys are playing. And it's like, he's got the gun! He's got the gun!

Run, Charlie! And Charlie's running with his little gnome legs. And the old man just shoots him and he explodes into gore. And like your mission objectives are like, collect scrabble, get five bits. Clog the toilet. And you're like, all right, I'm on the toilet. I also think that the average gamers,

attention span has collapsed over the past 15 years since the most previous GTA 5. And so a lot of people are attracted to the ability to just grab indie game after indie game for 599 or 999 or something and just bounce, bounce, bounce,

like get a different playing experience and I don't know if it's going to blow up. I'm glad Kyle's Dwarf game exists for the people that like it. No. Okay, Gnome game. I was being racist. I guess.

They are distinct. But anyway, the map, you can explore this whole map in like 100 seconds. It is a small game. And the things you do, there's a list of five out of a possible like 10. Like this is a small, small game. And it is so miles away from the AAA thing that I like get into and want to perfect and becomes like a craft that I'm working on. I hope that the thing I like isn't smashed.

by the thing Kyle likes. I want you to dip your toes into rust so bad because you're going to love it. It's all those things. It's so deep and there's so many infinite ways to play. Like, I watched a video today. The guy just doesn't bother with any of the PVP or any of the landmarks that you can go to

to like do various things like the excavator where you can get mine ore or the offshore drilling rig where you can do all these puzzles and fight NPCs. He's made a, poop farm. He's got a giant building full of horses, shitting. And he's collecting the shit, and he's trading the shit in for scrap,

and he's got this shit business that he's created. It's a whole manure farm. Or you can make trap bases and just be a thorn in people's side, just like capturing them with bases that look like they've been abandoned or partially raided. And as soon as they walk in, traps capture them, and you gobble

up all their loot. But when you've got three or four of your friends playing, and everybody's grinding together, hitting barrels and chopping trees and like, all right, you go get stone and I'll go get wood and he'll go get scrap. And in three hours, we'll have enough of that stuff to make guns and then we'll have those guns and then we'll go here and do this mission and we'll get better guns. It's like this, you're always churning toward this new thing. And at the end of the week, it wipes. And you start all over again and do a different thing on a different procedurally

generated map against different neighbors and opponents. You make these relationships while you're playing in a weekly wipe where you'll have neighbors that you love that you end up being like, hey man, send me a friend request. We should play against, we should, we should, we should play together sometime. And then you'll have like, that you hate. It's like, oh, yeah, the guys up north of us. Those fuckers, God damn it. All right. We're getting on at 4 a.m. And we're going to farm sulfur all morning and all afternoon. And tonight, when they're asleep, we're going to get them. We're going to blow their walls down. We're going to chainsaw their bodies. and we're going to salt the earth that is their base.

And it's so satisfying. It's like that Flanders meme where he's like, oh, Homer, I don't mind you taking my flowers, but did you have to salt the earth after? I did a kick tournament for Rust. And I played Rust five years ago briefly for a little bit, but I did one a couple months back, and it was three days.

Who was the pro that led you? Sir Winter. Okay. And, yeah, he's a real one. And yeah, he brought me, and even knowing that I'm just not on the level that people are, I'm just not on that level. But it was still fun.

I remember seeing the other teams and stuff, seeing that some people play Russ for 25,000 hours, and I'm like, that's nuts. And then I remember the tournament started, and we were running around, and there was money that you can collect and everyone's killing each other. And it's like grabbing like $250.

And I'm on the mic. I'm like, what's the currency used for? And they're like, it's money. And I'm like, oh, what do you spend it on?

They're like, whatever you want. And I'm like, okay, I get killed. I lose the money, whatever. And then like,

I find out later it's real money. Because it's just like a kick part of it. And so there's like actual dollars. So I'm like, what do you spend the money on? Are you exaggerating with $25,000? No, there was like a hundred thousand dollar prize.

$16,000. there was like $100,000. 25,000 is a lot different than 1600. No, in the world. This is the game you leave on all the time. You'd be interested in the audio that happens, even if you're not playing. So people get 24 hours a day,

100 hours and four days. Like you get it. 25,000 hours. You could be a concert violinist. I did. When I was done, and the equivalent of that exists in Rust. That exists.

The concert violinist, it's just for Rust, but not. So I like was trying to put up big hours, but I'm fucking idiot. I'm literally banging a rock on a rock, you know, and then someone comes over and they're giving me, they're like, hey, do it with this and they're giving me better tools to the point that I'm there with like a jackhammer and they're coming and bringing me fuel every now and then and I could just be a drone, which is fine.

But when I go back to the base every few hours or when I boot up the next day, like you build a team, so winter built a team. so people that specialize in the equivalent of being a concert violinist, but specifically for building bases in Rust. Yeah. Like the base that is built is this base built in a way because our neighbors might come and start burning shit and whatever. So this is like a tactically built base to build the base that will be the real base.

So it kept completely changing in form until it was in its final form. with, I remember like right away, like I didn't close a door properly. And they're like, they're like, how the fuck did he get in here? There's like a naked dude in there with a stick fucking stabbing our team and shit trying to light shit on fire. Everyone's trying to kill me. They're like, who did they're like, who we're trying to find out who did this. And I'm having a hot dog. I'm in a hot dog suit.

It's a big deal. You got to close the doors, bro. You've got like a yo-yo-ma level base. A yo-yo mom's going to make me move out. Yeah. Yeah, and everyone was just really sick at it. And there were Spanish YouTubers or Twitch kick streamers that they are really about it. Like when they play these tournaments, apparently they're super, like some people are in this mix.

Like I kind of learned when I found out it was real money is because like I'm cracking jokes and stuff. And I'm like, whoops, see, I left the door. I didn't really like gather that this was cast. I didn't really ask to go through a lot of the details. So I didn't know there was money on the line. And even though the other teams, we were outnumbered

and the other teams have a lot of big hours. And when I was trying to learn Rust, how to play Rust for this tournament two days before the tournament when I found that I'm doing it, I'm looking up Rust YouTubers and I'm watching their videos and becoming fans of these YouTubers. But then I'm out there on the road because I got killed and I'm spawned on the road with like nothing.

I just found a T-shirt. I'm looking through a bin and I look down the highway and it's a guy in full fucking call duty. He's running at me slow mo. And I'm like, that's him. That's the YouTuber I watch. And he fucking pop like shoots me in the head one bullet. I'm garbage. I spawn a thousand miles away and I'm going to go run and find shit. I spent a lot of time running naked getting killed by like the best of the best rust gamers. but I would find myself in weird situations where because because I don't play they would be like it's a tournament so everyone knows how to play so when you're a loose guy with like a stick and like a fucking pumpkin helmet on or whatever and like people see you and they're like they have guns and full body armor so they're like who are you? they don't know this strategy but they can only assume

it's an advanced strategy because they know everything at rust why would someone be here and I'm like at like I'm accidentally and they're like people would come over and the Spanish guys the neighbors like a couple of them they'd come up to me speaking Spanish

so right away I'm like oh this is bad because I'm going to be responding in English and they're trying to respond they're like can you just be like see I was I was like I was like no, no, ablo, Spanish, Sir,

Sir Winter. And they're like, oh, Sir Winter, it's not good for you to be here. And I'm like, yeah, dude,

I don't want to cause any trouble. I only have a rock on me. I'm like, I don't want any cause any trouble. Fuck you. Whack, whack, twice. Shot dead instantly.

I did zero damage to him. He might, maybe his helmet is like two less durability. Not even that. Yeah. But it's like, but in that moment,

a lot of people in the chat, they're like, hey, welcome to Rust. Now you're in Rust. I'm like, I'm like, fuck, you don't try to bash his head. It's getting killed. It was very, it was cool. It was a cool experience to be part of, but what Kyle's describing is normally like everyone's on equal footing. You start every week over at the beginning for this life.

And when I was done the tournament, I was like, oh, now I know why this people have put 25,000 hours in this game. This game is like very, whatever you make. of it. Before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors, the first of which is Blue Chew. Everyone's familiar. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Let's talk about sex. Guys, shouldn't you always be at your best? 2026 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom. Listen up, bluechew.com. Bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Lovitra, but in chewable tablets and at a

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Kyle, he insisted on it. But guess who threw a fit in the marketing meeting to get the cum splatters? This guy. They said it didn't matter. I said it mattered immensely. It was all I cared about. And it was actually more than this. And then Derek's guy was like,

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Why? I'm sure there has been a porn called Code Name Jays or Code Jays or. Oh, not that I know of, but could be. What are you going through the catalog? All right. I don't think pornos have names anymore. Ticking through the Rolodex. Do you remember how the porn's used to be wholesome

where it would be like, I actually get a semi-plot about the Pirates of the Caribbean. Before it turns. That was a big deal when they did that. Actually, when pirates came out, that was like the biggest, it was the biggest porn budget movie. And it was,

they really got a whole bunch of stars together at the time to be in it. And they took it very serious with a costume department. It got kind of attention. for being like, look at this porn taking itself seriously. What was it called? If we all made a part now about what the highest, the most expensive porn to make of all time, what the cost would be.

You have the answer? I don't, but I guess somebody's got the Google, I'm sure. I bet it's still low, right? Do you think it's more than a million dollars? yes no way no no way really no I would all right I think that pirates one is a million or it was a million yeah it was a big and that was like it was $8 million yeah that was like and one was like 2008 yes how much was it $8 million what had full cinematic production with sets costumes CGI and stunt work

it was shot like a Hollywood adventure film and it had extensive post production and effects with a large cast and elaborate locations. Most adult films are made for a few thousand or maybe a couple hundred thousand dollars. An $8 million budget is wildly outside the norm, which is why Pirates too still holds the most expensive reputation. So I'm finding a lot of the, what I searched agrees with Kyle, but Caligula, a 1979 movie that sits in a gray area between mainstream and porn was 17.5 million. But I think that wasn't produced to be a porn that was produced to be a Yeah, that's a real movie.

Helen Mirren, Peter, and Peter O'Toole are in that movie. Like, so there is Oh, Peter Atul. So there's non-simulated sex that was added after the fact and all these big orgy scenes. I don't think Helen Mirren and Peter O'Toole knew that there were going to be full penetration orgy scenes with like blow jobs and stuff. I think that was added and supplemented and edited in after the fact. But it is very wrong.

I'm just saying if you have full penetration repeated scenes lots of people getting their dick-socked and vaginal penetration you can't completely deny the porn aspect of it. Have I seen it? I've never seen it. The pirate? I don't know. No, I've seen the scenes of it. I've seen the good scenes.

You like start the movie. You're like, well, the fuck is this. Something about a Roman emperor. I don't care. Yeah. About tax policy. Porn has shifted to be just sex scenes now. Yeah.

Which honestly is for the best. I agree. It is because if you want to watch a movie, you'll watch a movie. It's actually really changed to just real people fucking at home with their phones. Yeah. There's a lot of not-set porno these days, you know? At this point, it's hard to define what an amateur is. Like, everyone out there has it monetized.

Everything's got an indie vibe. Pornhub. That's what I'm looking for. Pornhub will pay you just like YouTube does. And does it pay a lot? Do you get paid by the views? You do get paid for the views. And do you remember we used, Kyle, I wish she was here right now.

He was a big fan of this one creator on Pornhub. And she was like the face of the amateur section. Her boyfriend wrote me. Selena 22. Do you remember this person? I remember the backstory, though. So her boyfriend was a fan of the show. And I texted back and forward them for a bit.

And the amount of money she made was like full-time minimum wage. Like not nothing, but 30 grand a year or something like that. Yeah. I guess that's not minimum wage. But yeah. Kyle will know more now because damn blasts in the past. This was years ago. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think she was making like 30 grand a year or something like that. As an actress in the porn in porn. As the number one amateur on Porn Hub, who would upload her own videos monetize. This is a while ago. This is like 15 years ago. The CPM on YouTube, how it compares to the CPM on.

Right? I don't know. I could see that pose. you on Pornhub or I could see them being much higher. I have no, I don't even know which direction you know. I feel like the advertiser like is the advertising so much better on Pornhub because it's so

targeted or is it worse? I would love to look at the back end of someone's. It's 50 cents to $3. You can see the backend in all her videos. Yeah. 50 cents to $3? Yeah. It's 50 cents to $3 which is pretty similar to YouTube I suppose if you got

non-targeted stuff. Well then how much of those ads where it's like you have to fuck this old lady like one thing is you're kind of banger you're like oh

you guys you guys know Amir but a mirror one time Amir was like oh yeah I was talking to this girl

last night and whatever and she lives close by I was like what was going he's like oh yeah and he was telling all of us

he was like I was on porn site and just got a message from someone nearby And we were talking And we're all like, dude, that's a robot. And it wasn't even AI chat bot. This is older.

Like we're talking like 2018. So it's not good at responding, but he's probably also wasted. And he was like, what? No, they were they were saying things to what I was saying. We're like, yeah, it's simple programming. Dude, it's a bot.

It's an ad. And even we're all like, we didn't even know you could write back in that box. That it messages you in. And he was like, no, And then the next day even more fucking Amir

crazy shit is he uh he was like yeah so uh remember that bitch from last night and we were like the robot and he's like yeah so she was trying to talk to me again and I was like I know you're a robot bitch. Yeah keep we used to keep uh yeah keep uh keep trying I'm not gonna fall for and we're all like bro it's a robot dude why are you even responding that you're not talking to anyone

what do you even say he was like beefing the robot again. He was like, I know what you are. He's like, you think that you, uh, my friends, and yeah, I'm, I'm all, I'm on to your game. But way fucking dumber. Dude, it's a little insulting. Like, they're like, oh, there's older women in your area that want to fuck. I'm like, is this a targeted head? Come on. Yeah. Because for mine, it says, for you, Woody, are the other, are they like 83? you must be into mills for me it says they're sexy black bouncy booty is in your neighborhood so it'll never flavor you know what you want there'll be a warning where it's like if you turn down out even one old lady pussy you are out we're cutting you out of the system so you have to be ready

now i have seen that that's recent they're like the women on this site that you could meet the women on this site that you can meet, they have to fuck you. That's how the site works. That's literally how the site. If they don't fuck you, they're banned. Sign up,

sign up for your trial. Redding is pumping me ads for adult diapers. I'm like, what did? How did I give you this impression that I'm getting diaper ad after diaper. It was giving you trans underwear before so you could tuck your dick.

What? I mean, That's what? No, yeah, it did. I was getting trans underwear ads. And I guess they have this like, you know, grippy socks so you can walk around the hospital or whatever. I think they have that on the inside of the underwear so that your dick stays tucked. Oh, that seems tremendously uncomfortable.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was. You don't, I don't think. What is like, your dick doesn't get activated? This algorithm can find me for no reason. You really want to shave. if you're on the uh if you're going through the process apparently your dick won't be activated so at that point it's just like a piece of gum activated wait yeah it's not gonna it's not gonna it's

like the underwear is gonna wreck it no your your dick is just dormant so you can you can be you could tuck it back all the way it's just like you're in the hormones you're saying yeah yeah exactly it's like it's like a piece of gum you're tuck it back there you can like probably you can probably take it back into your into your ass cheeks. I wonder like if you're if you're going through the transition and you're on. That's how I like to think about it. So you have to split the ball. If you're on estrogen and it's hard to get hard,

can you overcome it with blue chew and let the estrogen and the blue chew fight? Like having a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room? Oh, you have you absolutely. We're in a real Sodom and Gomorah time. The trans girl in our Discord. taking lock and load. She's like, oh, I leak like crazy now. She's pre-coming all day. You know what? You should be signed up for the subscription.

You know, so just keep renewing. She's like my panties are so wet. Everyone is so uncomfortable. What do I call that? Panty sugar. The leftovers inside. Panty sugar? I've never heard of that. Who's they?

No, that's it. And that's crazy Kyle's the most perverted guy I know in my life. You fucking virgins Go to the subreddit. Panty sugar. It used to be

stinky draws. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. I don't want to see some discharge ridden underwear from some Walmart shopping bum.

When I hear that, when I hear the sugar part, I think about when you used to put a string in that liquid and it would create the rock candy now that's fun now that's fun that's a one night stand that's childhood wonder right there i had a one night stand in college once and when i woke up in the morning um i went to get my stuff on and she had the biggest streaks in her shit streaks in her panic oh no and i was just like i'm so glad i did not see these last night. It still wouldn't have been a deal breaker, but I would have been upset with myself.

All right. That's a good question. Taylor. Must be near your fucking must be near a sewer. Terrible apartment. If a girl you've brought home like pops her panties off and she's and you're getting amorous and then she's like actually let me run to the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back. Why don't you get a little more comfortable and you're like, oh man, you've done it this time, Taylor. And you got her panties. You're like kind of twisting them between your fingers, like stretching them and stuff. And then you notice that she's got like a trucker style skid mark in the back of those things. Do you keep going forward with this?

Because there's a chance that she's got a shitty ass right now. No, I would not. But I would also not be cruel. I would find a way to insist on an enormously long movie and hope for sleep. What if you just... I would tell her to take a shower. How old am I when this happens? If I'm in my, if I'm 20, 21, I got to tell you, not a deal breaker for me.

No, I don't think it's been a point in my life where I'm getting down with a shitty, that would take me out of the mood. Yeah. Yeah. Because then I'd be thinking like, what's she doing in there? One time my girl was riding me and I fingered her butt. One time a girl was riding me and I fingered her butt and I pull it out and there was just a big wad of do do on my fingertip.

You got a little her she is. And she's like, she'll ride me. And I'm like, I'm looking at it over her. Like, she has no idea. And I'm like,

oh, like, she's riding me, but I got my hand behind her. And I'm like, looking at it like over her shoulder. And I'm like, we're in a hotel.

So I just, you're like, oh, oh, she's like, yeah, come in me. I reached behind the headboard.

And I wipe the doo-doo behind the headboard. Oh, no. It was, it was her headboard. it was my headboard the hotel my hotel room yeah

I think I would have had to put it back on her put it back in you know I don't know no no that shit you pull that shit on a little that reminds me like when my youngest brother seven years younger than me I was probably you know 12

so he was five Dory no you was thinking about putting stuff back in and he we're in the car and he had the most disgusting bugger I've ever seen my life took it out of his nose

and I was like oh that's disgusting that's so gross he holding on his finger and he looks at me he goes I somehow we tried to stuff it back

I've never seen that move in my life that's fucking hilarious I've never even thought of that that's hilarious I might start doing that around people as a bit. That's crazy.

Oh, my God. What a great bit that is. Are you kidding me? Just crammed it right back up in there. What if you're over his back? Not ready yet. He was he was flummoxed by my disgust and was like, oh, yeah, I got to get rid of it. You can't stuff in the back in like you're like you're packing, you know, putty.

What it comes to a finger in the ass, you can't or fucking whatever, whatever comes out, that's your responsibility and you can't get mad at it. You actually can't even I don't get mad at it. You can't even be disgusted by it. Like if you can't, if you're not ready for poop to be on the finger or the dick or something, you can't go in there. You shouldn't get mad,

but you can't get disgusted. You prepare yourself for that. You bet to yourself though. I did give me to myself. Harley, you got to play it cool. And you don't breathe through your nose, look away if you have to or whatever.

Sure. Handle it. But I feel like it's, it's weird to finger someone's ass. and then be like, oh, you're disgusting. What is this shit? No, no. This is literally shit.

I don't know if I would call the person disgusting, but I would be disgusted having somebody else's shit on my finger. For sure. But you have to commit to that decision. I'd be like, do I have any open cuts? Did I open a package progressive? You got to put that stuff. That's a lot.

You got to know before. Would you? You got to know before. Harley, would it be okay to give her a little mustache? Like the same. Zimba from line. I don't. In Kyle's circumstance,

it doesn't sound like it would be a Hitler. Sounds like it would be a Genghis Khan. Like the full, the full thing. Yeah. Give her the full, man, too.

Yeah. I got a dude's like I have to go crank my hog after this conversation. I literally have to go crank my hog right now. Oh, there's a subredit link to Pany Sugar. I got you. Oh, I'll be goes.

I'll make sure to crack it open and take a whiff. But congratulations on 800 episodes. Thank you. That's big. Thank you. Big. like if I were you guys and I saw the Netflix deals going down and stuff, I'd be pissed because this podcast has been around way longer than those fucking dudes.

Now everyone's got a podcast, but you guys were really doing it. You were really doing it. So 800. You might underestimate how lazy I am. Not to sound gay Jewish with a small penis, but you guys, I'm proud of you guys.

So keep up the good work. And yeah, I'm looking, looking forward to being on. more. Josh, take care, dudes. Good to see you, dude. Appreciate it, Harley. Bye guys. Always a fun time.

800 episodes is crazy, guys. Yo. One a week for People are the scourge of the planet. Don't you say that about. Dude, Harley's top Jay.

I think he is top jack he's suddenly the tallest literally let me ask you something about 800 episodes is there an episode that out of all 800 that sticks out of you a couple

I don't want to go first they blend so much but 1V1 was a huge one that always sticks in my mind there are so many videos documenting it gone over to ad nauseum, so no need to like rehash the whole thing. But, um, one of our former co-host did a one v1 against another guy in called duty and talking about in a video game. Yeah, and called duty and then, and then lost spectacularly and had a huge rage moment in front of a live

stream and the, the viewing audience and it has lived on an infamy and there are many videos breaking it down. That was a big, ridiculous moment. I wasn't even here for it, but it was. Yeah. That's a huge one. Um, this. maybe it only resonates for me, but we had my friend and coworker on the show as he was going through a divorce. And he just told what to me was a really gifted story of his emotions as he was catching her. I think she just had online affairs. And like he was an IT guy and he was going through like deleted images on a camera, you know, how they just removed the index to the images, not the images, the images themselves. And he's going like, he'd walk into the bedroom and

She'd like quick chose the, close the laptop. Like she was sitting there with the TV off doing nothing. Like who does that? And one time he was racing home to catch her. And he got pulled over by the police. And I remember him like, like, you don't know what I'm going through right now. Right now I'm going home trying to see if my wife is stepping out on me and to what extent she is. And that's why I'm in a hurry.

The cop is like, bro, good luck. and lets them off. Really? Yeah, and that episode, I think it was 141, is one of my personal favorites. I can't think of any specific numbers that I personally, you guys agree, I'm sure. They blend together so much that it's hard to remember specific ones. I know the one people all the time talk about still is episode 140, right before that one, where I just ripped lefty.

for the whole time. It was just really needlessly mean to that guy. It was a drinking episode. It was a drinking episode. And I was, I mean, episode 140, I was, what, 21 at the time? Like, that was so, so many years ago. That's what people liked. I don't think it was a drinking episode.

I think Taylor was just drunk. I was just, really? You might be right. Oh, maybe. I also wasn't there for that one. I had bad internet in my girlfriend's house. Yeah. Oh, that's shit faced.

on the show? That was like 2012. Exactly. Yeah. It was exactly 2012. I think you're right. When Kyle returned from federal prison, that was a pretty big one. He told all the stories of how Kyle used his social

engineering skills to get through federal prison for two months unharmed. And you know, he just made a friend with a big guy, started working out with him and stuff and how he had navigated like the cafeteria and the bathrooms and the rules

and it was it was a strong episode I thought um I've been fucking fascinating oh it was so fascinating because like that was 2019 you know I'm I'm like an alien this is an alien world to me I have no concept of it but everyone here

is like used to shit like this this isn't their first day it was it was so bizarre just learning like when like that you better wash your hands even if you don't piss. If you go in the bathroom, make sure you wash your hands before you come out. I almost got in trouble because of that. Someone

said something. Like to somebody somebody told my friend, like, hey, get him in line. He came out of the bathroom, but didn't wash his hands. I didn't do anything in there. I just went and looked in the mirror and like maybe like wash my face or something. They were like, oh, I heard you didn't wash your hands when you came out of the bathroom. I'm like,

from who? What the fuck are you talking about? There's nothing to talk about in here. Is personal hygiene? or big deal in that? Huge. If you for, so there are some guys who won't wash either because they don't have like personal hygiene outside or because they're really depressed on the inside, you know, and they're

just like giving up on like taking care of themselves at the slightest. That will be an ass beating. Like if that continues on for too long, they will stomp you out for being a dirty fucker. Like, because we all live and share this kitchen, this microwave, these toilets, these sinks. Like, this is our personal shit. And especially if it's your cellmate, like, if you've got a dirty cellmate, like, that's another thing that, like, you'd get beat up, I'm sure. Like, you get plenty of warnings. They're not looking to get in trouble themselves.

But if you're dirty and if you're not respectful of everyone else's community stuff, like remote controls and buttons that we all press, like on the microwave specifically, that was a big one or the ice machine specifically. That was another big one. Like, we're all sharing this stuff and cooking our dinners in this microwave. it better not be dirty. Like everything is very clean. Very clean. Details of it. Kyle bought,

I think it was a radio. Maybe a special radio that like worked in this prison. And as a way to ingratiate himself to the black people in the prison, he like found the right target. He's like, you know, saw your radio's broken. I get out of here in two months.

You can have mine when I leave. And now this guy is like, well, this Kyle guy's, all right. He would come check on me. He'd come by myself. up. Hey, what's up, boss, man? Looking forward to getting that radio

at the end of these two months. Hey, listen, you need anything? And I'm very suspicious to that. I'm like, I'd love some more Diet Pepsi. I could only get the six-pack or 12-pack that I'm allotted, and he's like, Diet Pepsi, I'm on it for you. And sure enough, he hooked me up with some Diet Pepsi's.

You needed the radio to listen to the TV. Like, the TVs didn't put audio out. You had to tune in to like a specific radio station on this thing and that was that TV's audio or this TV's audio. They each had a different dial so that, you know, it wouldn't be a, everyone could watch four TV simultaneously in the same room listening with your headset. So it was a big deal to have a good one. Yeah. And when Cald delivered, he was so happy. I can't tell the story like Kyle Tan, but he's like, you know, people don't keep the word. You can't, you're different, man. You do what you say you're going to do. And it was a win.

for him. And just there's a zillion little like he used his charisma to make it through prison. And I thought that made for a good episode. I tried to. Sometimes it would rub the other way. Like I got into a screaming match with a guy over the TV one morning. I'm trying not to get pumped out. But I'm clearly going to like give him what he wants. He's like like I wanted to watch everybody loves Raymond, I think. And it was like 6 a.m. And I've been up all night. It's a pretty good show. you're in prison. And I've been up all night, you know, I've been, and watching this show on reruns, like they do one after

another on TBS or whatever it was. And he changes my TV to a different channel. And he's black. He's not supposed to touch the white people TV. And I'm like, I'm watching that. He's like, we watch the news in the morning. And I'm like, there's every other TV is on a different

news channel. You need ABC news that fucking bad. Like, what is it? We watch the news in the morning. And I was like, oh, this is going to escalate. this is going to be an actual confrontation and I'm like click it back to the news and I'm like there you go kind of like a smart ass and I'm like that's as much like respect as I can like salvage from this is being a little bit of a smart ale like when I change it back to him guess what I'm not happy about it and then you're left I just left the room because it's like what am I going to do fight Parker

over the fucking TV, a guy who's been down for 12 years, he runs the laundry. No, Parker gets the white people TV on the news this morning, I guess. They would watch all the morning newscasts because they had hot weather ladies, and everybody's like staring at the weather ladies.

It's a big deal. That VH1 had all those slutty thought shows at the time, like just a bunch of like big booty black chicks getting into arguments and stuff over who knows what. They would always be watching that shit. Anything that had like sexy women. on it. Yeah, I think that might be.

Kyle, let me ask you something. Is there anything, any lesson you took out of that two months in that you brought with you out? No, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the IBS.

I was, I've never been constipated in my life. The stress was going in. I didn't shit for weeks. plural. Like, I was at the point where I was like, you know, you don't shit like this week, you got to go tell the nurse because we need like an enema or something. We need some sort of intervention because I'm eating. I was on a diet because I was trying to lose some weight while I was in there. But I was eating. Like I'd eat a meal a day most days, you know, but I didn't

shit for, I wish I remembered how many weeks it was. It was at least two weeks, maybe three. It was a long time. The last time I was supposed to be on this show, I was really sick. It was back in October. Yeah. I had like, I ended up on the infectious disease floor for like six days in the hospital. Oh, damn. But on my way out of that, I didn't shit for two and a half weeks.

And I was giving myself enemas in my, there's a bathroom in my house that my wife still won't use. She still won't go in there. But I was given myself enamel. on the floor. I was drinking all of the Merrillax and nothing. And I asked, and I actually

started to go, I was putting my own fingers in my ass just trying to dig it out. Yeah. Needed a grandma to do that. They're the best at it. I knew this was coming. The poop was sideways, right? Yeah, yeah. One time I had a turd come out sideways and it got

jammed back there. My asshole was stretched out. like a ukulele trying to make it to a door gap. And I hollered, Granny! And Granny had to come in. And, well,

she used to be a nurse, you see, not a real one, but she nursed folks. And she got her old paw up in there and clawed out the log jam. Like, that's a true story from our,

this is the story our other co-hosts. What? Yeah, gangster grandma fishing the poop out of his butt so that he could feel better. Yeah. That's a hell of a,

grandma right there. That like, I like to think that my grandma, God rest her soul, would do that sort of thing for me. But I'm not sure she would have. I think she'd have been like, Kyle, that's awful. You go out somebody that won't be scarred for the rest of their life by clawing out turds from your bottom. I asked my wife, I'm like, can you help me with this anima? She was like, no. That's not in the vows. Good for her. I'm going to do it in the living room. I think Woody and I both had this situation now that Taylor is a married man. I wonder if he has anything similar.

Like I have my bathroom. My girlfriend has her bathroom. I have never looked in her toilet. I don't know what the inside of it looks like. I'm sure it's clean. But if I saw it like sustain or something, I'd be so grossed out. She's never been in my bathroom ever. She doesn't know what the inside of it looks like.

when I hear couples alike, we feel so comfortable with shit in front of each other. I'm like, why? Gross. I'm very comfortable around my brothers and my best friends. I'm not sitting. I'm not walking in the bathroom when they shit either. That is not for me to share with you. I don't want to be on the toilet and be like, hey, can you pick up some milk?

I'd be like, what? We're never fucking again. Yeah. I mean, look at you. Jesus. No, I can't get you more milk. Ideally, you could live with me your whole life and not know that I poop. I can't quite pull that off.

There have been times when it's like, eh, you want to use a different bathroom. Yeah. That's happened. I think that's just being polite, frankly, is like you want to split the bathrooms up a little bit because sometimes it's D-Day in there for me.

and I'm absolutely painting that bowl. And I don't want her coming in and doing that. Sometimes it sounds like a kid throwing rocks off and overpassed into a river or something. Yeah. You know what I did someone through tin nickels into the toilet? One of my big, like, I swear it's like a whole upgrade to my heck in house. I replaced the, you know, the light switch that turns on the exhaust fan with one that has a timer. And now you can just bop that exhaust fan, shut the door, 20 minutes later it turns off on its own.

I got some Fabriz in there. I'm not sticking it up that bad. I'm not a fucking farm animal. But we definitely have never shared a bathroom, never shared a toilet. I don't know. Like when people like, we poop in front of each other, I'm like, that's not the flex you think it is. That's super gross. You've crossed a bridge that didn't need crossing.

See, yeah, I look at it through us lately. different lens. I'm like, yeah, that it's fine for you. It's just not for me. I broke up with a girl for farting in front of me once. Like immediately? Well, you know how I operate. I just sort of phase you out slowly by opening your message.

I don't open your messages all the time and I like, I reply lull like once every other day. She didn't live with you. I broke up with a girl once because she refused to believe that the L and salmon was silent.

fuck she was saying salman like like salman rushedy or whatever that the guy who had the fatwa put on him and i was like hey after i was just like i'm going to have to break up with this girl i can't she's keep saying sound she's still kicking it i bet saman rushedy still alive that fatwaid got to him salmon rushdie is salmon rushty maybe salman far sorry i'm doing myself I once broke up with a guy for saying the L and not saying the L and Slaminarci. No, but she didn't just like fart. She went to and she like audibly made it. She was like, like it was clear she was like pushing it out.

And it was like, you're like right next to me. And like she didn't like, she didn't go hoopsie daisy. You're like whoops. She was just like she did it like a dude might burp after eating like a satisfying meal or something. I don't like that. Yeah. Everyone's an illusion for me. You're getting out of there.

Your wife? No. I don't think it's appropriate. I think it's never happened once. It's not just in front of my wife. I try not to fart around anyone. It's rude and people who act like it's like, oh, I'm just open with that. No, you're being.

No one has ever heard me fart in my life. I can't claim that. Yeah. I mean, that's what I aspire to. My wife and I have our 30th anniversary in three days. So I won't say I have never audibly farted. Like mistakes happen, but I've never pushed one out like Kyle's ex. I got to tell you, guys.

What, not an ex? This is where we... I'm trying to make her past. This is where Josh goes to. Fork in the road for us. I enjoy, because I know my wife hates it so much. I do things to bother my wife. I have this one really long.

eyebrow and I keep it. Me too. I twirl it next to her because she hates it. I pluck it because it does. Oh no. I like to twirl it and I just stare at her and she's like I fucking hate that eyebrow. I have a whole part of my eyebrow that grows up and I just let it

ride. Because I know that you know people like Woody look at my eyebrows and they go if only my eyebrows are the worst. I don't. Don't donate it. It's like I've got half eyebrows. I have one eyebrow, just a half over each eye, I would argue.

You like the opposite of one of those Russian premieres. Me and Woody like holding hands as we go into surgery together. He's my donor. You have like a Hitler stash for eyebrows? It just flips up here. Oh, you're talking about Taylor. I'm sorry. I got confused.

Do you see how they like, I swear. I can see. It looks like just light hair on the side, not bald. It's less than you want. Come on man, get a little, get an eyebrow puncher. There's literally like a cosmetic. I bought a hair replacement system for eyebrows as a bit for the show and never used it. Oh, I did the same thing like eight years ago when Kyle was like, Taylor, it would be funny if you put more monoxideil on your face.

And then we, I looked at the side effect and it was like, this is not ideal. this can actually do pretty rough things to me. Like that guy's a real king shit. What a weird choice though. Yeah. Brezhnev. Yeah. Leonid Brezhnev.

It's kind of alpha to be like, I'm ugly as hell and you have to listen to me. And I'm going to grow these out? Yeah. And you can't stop me. Yeah. The same way, was it Mao? Oh, no, was it Kim Il-sung that had that giant tumor on the back of his neck? It was, yes.

And he just forced everybody to take nice pictures of him instead. Yeah, it was the Russians, I think, that took the photo of the big thing and, like, published it on some state visit that was going down. Yeah. He had a big tumor on his neck. Kyle, was it like a fat? You know, they get those fat balls sometimes? Is that what it was? Or was it?

I think it was a huge tumor. on the back of his neck. The first premier of North Korea. It was like baseball sized. It really protruded off of him. Like it was not something that you would not immediately notice. Bill of Kim Il-S on. Yeah, but let's show the picture.

Obviously show the back picture. There's only like one or two pictures in existence of it because it was a crime to photograph it otherwise in his country. What? It's North Korea. Yeah. Yeah, North Korea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go hard in the paint.

Like everything's a fucking crime there. The haircut that Kim has is a crime for a regular person to get. Oh yeah. Look at that. Oh, boy. You know, it would be better if it grew hair. You could hide. That's what I was thinking.

A little bit. Would you grow your hair long in that spot to, like, put some, like, drapes over it? Yeah. You could put that other dude's eyebrows over it. Yeah. He needed Brezhneb's eyebrows. Yeah. That kind of looks like Brezhnev across from coincidentally.

Dude. It's like Ben Shapiro's eyebrows. They keep growing. I found my hair replacement system for eyebrows. Styling powder. This font is so small. I am struggling. But I guess you put it in your palms, rub them together,

and then I assume put it on your, I can't read the instruction. Should I give it a go? Oh, yeah. That's not the product that I would use. Putting powder right over your eyes. Putting powder right over your eyes seems... He's got a bottle of fiberglass there that's all chestnut brown

that he's about to rub into his eyes, folks. Let's see what we got. Dude, definitely see if it's flammable. Isn't this stuff for like, I thought this was to like put in your hair to like fill in like... It is, but he's making lemons with lemonade. No, no, no. I looked for an eyebrow specific formula. Oh, okay.

One that won't get in your eyes and make you... I don't know. I don't know. The top is sealed. I've not used this. How is it not going to fall in your eyes? I bet there's some sort of gluey stuff in there. We'll see.

Hopefully, a little hid here. Or you could get glasses like Josh's. Like, I can't even see Josh's eyebrows unless he raises them because they're big, thick glasses. They all have glasses. Dang it.

Yeah, you're missing out. You're a tourist. You say sometimes you want glasses for the looks. You don't know our struggle. Hang on. I got some somewhere. He doesn't. What do you be done with his eyebrows by the time I get back?

Oh, I can't wait to see how this works. He's going to look great. He's not at all going to look like a gaysha. Is this shit white? I hope not. This is going to be a minute. How does this even work? It's white.

Is it powder? Try a pinky amount or something. Well, don't sniff it. You know, what the fuck is this shit? Yes. It just sounds away when I wrote. rub it on my palms. I'm with you

sniffing it would not have been my first instinct. Wait, this is a disappointment. I need to clear. Is it a powder? It says styling powder dust. What the fuck is this shit? Hold on. It looks crystalline. That's weird.

I need a second. I need to like Google this to read the instructions. I'm trying to be other than put it on your eyebrows. Hair. Like my eyebrows I think are pretty normal. but it's hard to no they don't really come down much this way

I have to trim the middle sometimes right here like yeah because it'll get and then it also goes it goes further down than I'd like to almost like I'm gonna like it goes to the side of my eye does your cheek hair are you one of those guys where it grows up to here

yes yeah but not thick enough that it would be a beard up to there which would also look ridiculous. And so I just, I just trim it down to normal beard level. But yeah, I can feel stubble right here on my upper cheek. That is amazing.

And so I would love to see just like a month of full growth on the face. Oh, there you go. Kyle, what, you look, you look perplexed. Why do you not have it on both ears evenly?

First day of glasses. You're muted, by the way. No, that looked, that was right. No, he had one.

he was he was cocked all right it says my hair is supposed to be damp so I found an old water bottle I'm doing my best turn square to the camera or I can't see now

because all right you're a little bit high on your right eye unless you're mirrored and then it's left eye Woody this is I mean how long does it say

it's supposed to take I must be doing it wrong It should be immediate, right? You're not using enough. You really got to get it in there. Maybe try putting a decent amount on like two fingers instead of the palm and then forcing it into the brow. Maybe the thing is it's going to force more light refraction or something.

If you pour a bunch in your hand, what does it look like? Can I see what it looks like? Oh, I see the powder everywhere. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, definitely don't store it. This doesn't make any sense. Why would it be white? And why would it be a product?

And see if you can figure out how to use it. It's a binary compound. You forgot to add the second part. I guess it's supposed to add volume. I swear it's not like they're copyright. I don't know why. But that doesn't look like hair growth. It looks like something that will add volume.

Yeah, yeah, that's the deal. And I thought it would be dark. And I thought it was going to be little dark fibers that kind of just added volume and darkness to my eyebrows. I didn't expect a white powder. I don't know what that. It says level three styling powder, matte finish and volume boost for modern hairstyles. So achieve long lasting volume and matte finish with level three styling powder, the ultimate solution for adding texture and lift to modern hairstyles.

That says this is nothing about eyebrows. Yeah, nothing at all. It is not. what you want is like an eyebrow pencil or one of those just for men like it looks like mascara and and like just to like color them in you know this is the worst nine dollars and 80 it goes up here yeah now I'm just I'm just blinking a lot for no reason in your in your hair line like I think you're supposed to take a big wad of it and like like get it on your scalp and then style your hair turn my face into a mild fire

stay away from open flames you'll go right up yeah now now based on the listings now based on the listing you should avoid open flames for a bit yeah you'd be like michael jackson in that Pepsi commercial oh my god that would be amazing no no what he was doing it right it says lightly sprinkle the powder into your palms and press it on your eye on to the eyebrows I guess into the hair is what they're doing well I'm just never into the eyebrows or near them I'm just reading the instructions Guys, seven o'clock Pacific is my heart out. I got to run. Okay. Thanks good. Thank you so much for coming on. I appreciated you. I apologize for the audio stuff.

Thanks for being patient with me. Of course. I want you to know that whenever I go live on any platform in the chat is always people saying, when are you going back on PCA? We love me on PKK. In all my meet and greets. I have your fans. So yeah, yeah.

Your fans are amazing. I really appreciate you guys having me on. I know it's been a minute. And last year I was sick for like three months. I appreciate your patience. Of course. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Yeah, you guys are the best. And when, I mean, I still have not seen any of you at any of my shows. Not yet. Someday. Everybody keep checking out Josh's shows. You'll enjoy it. very funny guy. I appreciate you guys. Thanks, Josh.

Thanks, man. Take care, man. Right. All right. We got to figure out this eyebrow thing. They smell like a salon. I can smell it. It hasn't, I haven't gone nose blind. There are, there are those little hair things. I shook it like a lot. No, no, no, not that product, but you, oh, what you mentioned. There is exactly that because I've seen nearing bald people on the front of their head, sprinkle that in and it appears to add

Michael Scott in the office has that going on in the second and third seasons Does it does it look good? It does look good right? When they go close up you see it and you can see that like they have not They have also like colored in his skull to some extent like they have sprayed some They do it to Stanley too like they like give Stanley all this fake they just color his scout dark black and it's obvious in the close ups and stuff but it's kind of kind of charming you know on that show, they all did their own makeup. Like, there's no makeup department.

They wanted everyone to look normal. So, so everyone is doing their own makeup. That's why they all look like normal people there. And they're all actually doing busy work. They're like, yeah, that's me doing my taxes in the background in season three. Like, we're just, they told us to stay busy. So we did. That's pretty neat.

I'd like go back to college. If I had a job, I could just study at work. Right. Like, trying to do something as constructive as possible, I guess. if you're just going to be sitting there doing nothing. Do you think you'll look into Winrose more, see if it catches your fancy? A pirate game.

Yes. Wednesday? Yeah, I think so, especially if it's something that, you know, my friends just came out as pre-release. You know, it's a game that I guess we'll get, it's an early access game. That's the words I'm looking for. But you can get it now.

They're selling it for 10% off $30, $27. I'll do that. Yeah, because I'm actively looking, something. I'm kind of done with phasmophobia. I've mastered it. I've done everything I think that I want to do there. I was looking at another game called demonologist, which is kind of the exact same thing, except like scarier and it looks a little better. And you can actually like kill the ghost at the end. You like, you burn them up and like kill them like supernatural style. I played some squad this morning. My sleep schedule is atrocious. I stayed up all night. And when it It was time to go to bed.

I was like, I had watched like a squad YouTube video and I was like, do I own squad? I didn't. And I was like, well, I could. And so I bought squad at like 7 a.m. after being up up all night and played it till like nine in the morning. So the shooter? Yeah, squad is like the ultimate old man shooter because it is, it is a real like simulator with command structures and squads and real world vehicles and scenario. so you can do like US versus name a country.

I saw most of the server. I played, I think China versus the U.S. last night. And it's just like so big. And you're just like one little piece in the war. If you think battlefield makes you feel inconsequential, play squat. Now you're just an ant on an ant hill, you know? Like there's stuff to do.

But it's a little bit slow if you don't have, if you're not like plugged into the chain of command and have people to tell you, go here, do that, do this, do that, do that. So I was pretty lost, pretty lost trying to play squad. I wish you liked Marathon. I'd like playing, but I, yeah. It looks too hard for me, honestly.

Like, I don't want to like, I don't want to like get good at shooting right now. I don't know. I like Tarkab because I can get cheap kills on people when I'm like sharpening my skills. Like early, like, so it doesn't beat me down so badly with loss after loss after loss. you can get a few ambushes in maybe even a like camp somebody out or something and get some lucky kills here and there and it makes you feel good but i feel like in marathon i'm so rusty for shooters that i would just be getting pooped on for weeks before i like dialed in probably would be it could happen one of the most important things in marathon is to be really disciplined about engaging in gun fights like if you can't answer this question why do i have the advantage don't take that fight. Don't take a fair fight.

Don't take a fight where you're pushing some guy on the roof. Be the guy on the roof. And if you can't answer why you're most likely to win, you know, if it's a fair fight, do you have a huge gear advantage? You can tell what their shield is when you shoot him. I'll stop talking about marathon.

But yeah, so much of it is good decision making. Good decision makers beat people with better mechanics. Hell let loose Vietnam is doing, I think, beta signups right now. trailer for it looks real good um you i've never played a vietnam game that was any good but this is given me like is how it's an older series um and like vietnam is just this version is that correct yeah that's the case um i think that the last game that was hell let loose i played was the

world war two game because i think i did some you can do like tank stuff i think i remember being part of like a tank crew and hell let loose last time i played that but this is vietnam obviously which again, I've never played a good Vietnam game. I'd be down to that. I looked at it and I'm like IronSight after IronSight after like not even a site because it's an RPG and it's just a rough indicator of the general direction it's going to go.

And I was like, I miss, you know, my red dots. Isn't everybody forced into Ironsight a little bit fun though? No. I like some scopes. I like something. I bet there's weapons just not their machine. It's definitely fair if everyone

has the same sites. Like that I can get on board with fun. Well, you know, that's in the eye of the beholder. I guess there's less to grow to. I'm like, the thing about an iron site

is it like basically covers your eyes for everything below the target. And I'm like, don't cover my eyes during a gunfight. Give me a good red dot where I can see his whole body and like what's going on. Yeah,

it's like shooting the, Do you remember the MG 42 in what was it? Was it World at War? Was it Modern Warfare 2? That LMG you can get where just looking through it. Maybe it was Cod 4 where it had decent damage, but you couldn't see a fucking thing on the screen when you were ADS. Yeah.

Probably the MP44 in Cod 4. It was the level 55 unlocked that just stunk. You know, it's that World War II machine gun. Maybe a German machine gun. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see the trailer for the new Escape from Tarkoff game thing? No.

What are they calling it? Like Spacov or something? Starkov. Startov, that's their nickname for it. And they put out a big trailer for it recently. It seems to copy every idea Marathon has. Like you are a shell that is a runner and an ex-fil shooter, I think. It just looks like Battlestick Games is making marathon, but I'm interested.

Wait, they're making a new game when the old one isn't even done. It's done. The old one's done. Oh, Tarkov is? They're still adding new maps and stuff, but it is, you know, 1.0. And you're kind of right. I think it's more like an Elon Musk sort of thing where he has more than one company now working simultaneously. He has another development studio, this one's in Dubai. And now those developers are making a game to which I heard and thought, you've,

Fox. First you get some Russians, right? Name all the great Russian games. Tetris and Metro. Okay. Like the reason. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the reason this game is so fucking hacked is because none of these guys have made a game before. Like Russia is just not filled with great computer science talents. And now they're going to Dubai. What are we doing? Can we hire? Can we make a game in a place that has like a little game development central? Sure.

You know? Honestly, yeah. Steal away the embark people or something. I don't know. But they're going to build another game in some place that I guess has cheap, unskilled labor. It's going to be a hack fest. And I'll buy it. They clearly got some money from what it.

It seems like the, the Middle Easterners are investing heavily and gaming. I think, I thought the Battlestade Studios were in London. Like, I know there, it's like a Russian crew, but I don't know what the devs or what their nationality was. But I know they had a place in London. Okay. What game did the Swedes make that was excellent? I bet there are. I don't know.

Maybe Expedition 33 is from some Scandinavian country. I think Fat Shark is there, too. They make Vermintyde and Dark Tide and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure those are both like Scandinavian. It might not be specifically Sweden or whatever I said, but it's somewhere in there. They're real little countries. They're small dev teams. That's like what kind of what Harley was talking about earlier with specifically the Expedition 33 crew.

Because it was after the game came out and went gangbusters, there were all these photos of the dev team. And it's like they all fit in one picture. You know, there's so few of them. Meanwhile, Rockstar has thousands of. people on keyboards type in a way making this thing. Do you know the name of the game I told? It's not called Star Tov.

That's nickname that. Yeah. I'm core three maybe. Core. Maybe it's core with a three for the E. I'm just on Pistilli's channel and he says first cinematic of Tarkov two. And then it says core C-O-R and then the numeral three. So maybe that's what it's called.

I think it's called core. Yeah. But with a three for an E. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It has my attention because Tarkoff was such a deep game. So. There's like a little teaser trailer of some kind.

And still is like scrubbing through it here. And what I noticed was the guy holding the gun looked great to me. But I noticed like a hideout or something. And I was like, this is Tarkov again. Like the Tarkov formula is an incredibly addictive formula. There is always a new thing to strive. for, which is what I, I want there to always be that next big thing just out of reach. Where if I just played for another hour.

What, pardon? We've never finished Harcalf. At least I have, I don't think you got Kappa, right? I've got Kappa, yeah. Well, all right, so in my, all right, so not in my offline account. In my PVE account, I have everything. I'm level 65 or something. I've done all the lightkeeper quests.

I've done all the new map quests I've got Kappa I've done every single available quest there is to do Oh in my I once Was like two kills Off of Kappa And then the wipe came

I was like that close to it in PVP But I never actually got Kappa But At the time you get it you don't eat it anyway It's like man I really could have used this when I was grinding All day every day Like that would have been a big help but by the time you've got Kappa, you're so rich

and your gear is so meaningless to you that you don't even, it's just a flex. That to me is the true end game in an extraction shooter. Like when you're so rich that you lose your gun and say, I got 13 more like it back in the vault, now you've beaten that light. And a lot of people will put it down and pick it up next season. I'm hoping Marathon can sort of replicate what Tarkoff did

and that it got bigger every wipe. Yeah. That's not where I put my money, but it's where I put my hopes. They can. Like, I bet they're bigger than Tarkov was in its first year, you know? Like, I think those Twitch events are massive for a game like that. Like exposing people to it and showing a guy like Pistilly or Landmark or whoever it might be, really playing it at a high level and succeeding and having fun.

I think it, and especially if you're doing drops. Drops are so big. You get so much more viewership. and then even if the numbers are not even if the numbers are inflated so you've got like 200,000 people who are watching but really we're just AFK with a Chromebot

like clicking for us that's what I do but now you're on the front page of Twitch is like the most viewed streams and people are like ah marathon that's not that game where you make that runner run awkwardly with

with keystrokes is it oh it's a shooter neato like that's how you build your game and it's going to take that kind of building for them to grow that audience because extraction shooters are just by their very nature so punishing i think that if they had an arena version like side game that you could play that you go in and shoot the shit and jump in and play like four v four four four four four death match with pre-made kits um you know like i i think that a lot of people not only would you be able to loosen up before you like jump into the extraction shooting

stuff where you lose your kit your kit's gone but also like it'd be a lot less stressful for the people who have gear fear. I saw Arc had lost 80% of their player base in the last 60 days or so. Yikes. And it's probably because what he said earlier where all the hardcore guys who are grinding it are sick of running into people who are casuals just with a free kettle and nothing else. Like there's no reason to even kill those guys. There's nothing to grab.

I agree. Also, Arc is, I don't think they've done enough to add new content. They added something recently. There are some new bots that even good players struggle with, but it's too little, too late. Like, I gave up on Arc kind of before that content came out. I hit that period of being so rich I didn't care anymore within like a few weeks. You know, like before you started playing the game,

I'm sure I never made as much money as you made. But I had made so much I was like, nothing mattered anymore. Like, nothing mattered anymore. If I don't, now it's just about the PVP and the PVE. if that is purely fun to me because the gear doesn't matter anymore the money doesn't matter anymore the tasks are terrible in that game

I really I like an in-depth difficult task that I need another video open on another monitor to be like alright now you're going into the wine store to pick up the wine bottle it could be anywhere and it's a fucking wine store so get ready and it's like there's a quest like that in Tarkoff

where you have to go pick up wine box yes let me tell you what when you're in there fumbling around in the dark and a wine store surrounded by enemies. Looking for a special one. Looking for a special. My heart is pounding. And it's just boom, thump,

boom, boom. And I'm like, is this it? No, is that it? No, because they're like regular wine bottles everywhere, but there's one special one that glows gold. If you look at it just right, close enough, and it can spawn in like eight different places. And I'm in there looking for it.

And like, finally, I got it. Killed immediately. It's 15 minutes before I can get back here. I've got to go make a new kit. And then probably another 10 minutes to run back to the wine store. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You spawn on the other side of the map.

Now you have to like fight your way through hell to get back to the wine store. You die on the way. Do it again. We made it to the wine store this time. We got the wine bottle. Dead. Do it again. It took me so many tries.

I was, I didn't cry, but I had that feeling where like if I make myself cry right now, I'll cry. You know what I mean? I do. know the feeling. Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna, like,

tears will not escape if I don't allow it to happen. But if I lean into this, I could sob right now. Graters is the opposite. You load them with a free kit, and they're like, hey, Rader,

go to this building and press E. Excellent job. Here's some glow sticks. And you're like, everything about this was a waste of my time. One, I don't have any value for glow sticks. I'm just going to immediately sell them

for next to nothing. Two, like, I didn't learn anything. I didn't do anything. I've done every quest in Arc Raiders three times now, and I have never gotten anything out of any of it. I've played one percent, half a percent,

as much as you in Arc Raiders, and I feel the same way. It'll be like, here are your quests, and it's like, really, that again? Like, how are they repeating for me? Tarcov quests are so infamous that you can tell somebody, like, oh, I'm doing bullshit right now. They know exactly what you mean.

There's a quest called Bullshit. where you have to go into the mask, get the thumb drive out of the back of the car that's on the bridge. Now you have to go to the dorms and you have to plant three gold chains in three different areas. It's like a 7.5 second plant time.

By the way, gold chains ain't free. You've got to buy those on the flea market from other gamers who are selling them in the end game market with end game currency. If you die, you lose your chains and you're in there planting them. The best part is you can't fire a shot at the at the at the at the at the enemies while you're in the dorms you cannot shoot that's part of the challenge

the the AI so you have to like normally people get their buddies to come in and go ahead of them just kill all the AI in front of them is what I do solo I do that shit solo I'm creeping around in there popping smoke grenades the AI's running around yama go hoof you're fucking like they're ratting me out or whatever they're talking shit they're babbling in Russian looking for me meter headshots. Killer born and a shooter born in heaven, but they have made that one much easier. But that's probably the most infamous.

Yeah, they kept lowering how many maps you had to do it on and the range that the target had to be. I made it harder because at the time I had shooter born in heaven open, I also had like, you know, kill other people with the bolt action open or something. While wearing the,

the packa and the blue helmet. Yeah, maybe, right? So I'm like, if I do get a kill, I can make progress on two or three quests at the same time. But, you know, sure it would be nice to have a follow-up shot in case I miss at 100 meters, but no, not me. Yeah, you have to kill enemy players, not AI. It used to be over 100 meters. You had to do 10 of these per map on each of the maps. and some maps, it's hard to even see 100 meters to like another person. There's only like three site lines on the map

where that's even possible. And then again, Taylor, like getting a headshot on another player at 100 meters and Tarkov is a skillful thing unless you just get dumb lucky, but you've got to do it 10 times on every map and it just, it's a, and there's a lot of stuff locked behind it.

Oh, it's a motherfucker. Most people don't grind that all the time. They'll be like, I'm taking a break from shooting. Born in Heaven. I'm going to go in with shitty armor on this time and kill 10 AI with a shotgun headshot. There's stuff like

that. You'd have to kill 10 players while wearing bad armor. And it's like, with an M16 I think, or an M4, one of those. And it's like, I'm risking a half decent gun with terrible armor against players who were better equipped and I have to do this repeatedly. It's hard.

Yeah. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah, you'll spend millions of rubles playing badly because that's what the game demands of you. I'm in the minority on this, but I'm glad Marathon doesn't have as many stats. Because, you know, as a streamer, they'll be like, Hey, Woody, can I see your lifetime stats on your

on your Escape and Targhoff account? And it's like, well, you got to understand. I took a hit of what I was doing, Shooterborn in heaven. And then don't even get me started on bullshit. You know, my Katie would be a lot higher if I just ignored this.

Yeah, there's a learning curve. I've got a really high Katie on my PVE account, obviously. Where you kill bots? The bots are so hard, Taylor. Like I promise you, you couldn't make it through the bots, okay? They would destroy you. Your AOE skills would not translate, okay?

You would run into Rochella and he would destroy you. Okay, the bots are legitimately. I've played with my buddies, and the flying ones will be around. And then I'll see some flying ones where it's like, like, just dead. And then there will be one that looks very similar to me. and I'll antagonize that one and my buddy will be like no what have you done

and then he goes and I'm like we'll just hide in the in the TP and then it comes right in the teepee and then it comes right in the teepee kills me frustrated I die over and over against the bots sometimes because it makes you do such difficult things

and they're so good they lock onto you and kill you instantly like on Lighthouse when you're trying to clear out the water treatment plant and there's snipers and machine gunners and automatic grenade launcher gunners just holding the area down from every conceivable angle. You have to approach from a mountain side and snipe out like six or eight people from really long range. It's hard to even spot them. It's, it's tough. Tarkoff's so good. Tarkov and Rust are the

goats of shooters for me. This is a non-Tarkoff thing, but what are the gayest, dumbest reddits you guys are aware of? Because my Reddit experience is like 1% you guys. Like, is there a forum where you go to just to kind of laugh or mock? Conservative memes is pretty good. It's conservatives making memes. I like that one. I usually get a chuckle out of it.

The problem with Reddit is they took all away. So what is that? Oh, the front page. Yeah, there is no more front page of Reddit. You can't just sort by all and see every subreddit aggregated

toward the top, like whatever's popping today. So you'll just on where? Popular. Oh, but popular doesn't do that. Oh, how is it different? It's a much shorter list that seems to be like curated. Oh, I didn't know.

And then there's, I've got popular and I've got news. Okay, that's funny. The first thing I saw on Popular when I opened it was some person's hand holding a disgusting looking bottle and it says, what is this drink that an Indian guy gave me for helping him find his tram? Disgusting I just got some retarded lady to take a bottle of shit That might be it

Oh, why I go to from time to time is mentioned it before but Arfid Arfid The avoidant restrictive food intake disorder Where it's a bunch of people who are just supremely picky eaters Pretending that they have a disorder And they'll be like

And they all serendipitously have the same safe foods. It's all chicken nuggies. It's all fries. Yeah, it's all like. They're homogenous. Yeah, they'll say things like, am I an asshole for thinking that my boyfriend getting mad at me is inappropriate at his house? His mom made a full giant Italian meal for us.

And then I said, I want buttered noodles. and she had to make them specifically for me. And also I said no to the marinera sauce and no to the meatballs. Why do people care what I eat? And it's like, because you're being fucking rude. Because you're a little baby and you're being a dickhead. And so this is one that I laugh at semi regularly. Probably once every three months I pop over to R slash RFID.

And it's them. One of them is I tried a new ice cream flavor today. and it's a bunch of people in the comments being like, good for you. And the ice cream, it's a, it's a picture of an empty ice cream cup. And this pussy has taken all the cash shoes out.

They picked all the cash shoes out of their ice cream. He's eating Rocky Road. There's just a big pile of almonds there. That might be what it is. I can't even. Oh, one of them will say a cashew. Yeah, it's,

it's pathetic. It's like someone needed to say no at some point in these people's lives. I would get mad if I, like, cooked, like specifically that. If I made my homemade meatballs with pork veal and beef, and then I had been making a marinera sauce with roasted garlic that I've been making all day and, you know, bought the fancy noodles or even made my own pasta, and then you want some buttered noodles and you're an adult that's normal functioning adult. Get out of here. It's rude as hell.

Leave, leave. You're not, you were invited to dinner. Okay. This is not what you're, you're refusing basically. No, I wouldn't like that at all. Yeah, they refused. Like if I went to someone's house and they served something that wasn't my favorite thing, something I even was like, I'm milk toast on this, I'm going to eat it. Because I'm going to be polite and eat it. I'm full Ted lasso about that.

Unless there's some reason I think it makes me sick. Like I don't do peppers very well. If you've got a really pepper food, I'll be, yeah, I'll just find someone something else to eat. But yeah, I'm with you. I'll suck it up. There's a Ted Lassau episode where he's like being interviewed by this guy who hates him. Everybody hates him. And he's eating at like some Pakistani guy's restaurant that he had just randomly met.

And it was like when he says he's your friend, he means like it's a random meeting. He's like, you should come by my restaurant someday. He's like, well, I think I will. And he does. He just shows up. And he's like, my father, he mused this special Kashmiri and pepper to spout of you. Oh, joy. Hope you like a spice.

and it's like so spicy that the other guy's like oh I can't possibly and he's like well don't do that we got to eat her his daddy's going to feel bad and he's just like eating like huge amounts of this spicy curran then I'm like Ted Lassau in that situation where you got to eat this or they're going to feel bad

they made you something special don't insult them yeah wait peppers fucking up Woody like like spicy peppers uh loose stool that's the impact how spicy does it have to be like

jalapia. Here's my confession. I like peppers. So sometimes you know, I just jump in the lava because I like swimming. Well, that's not tricky. It seems like you're doing it for almost a GI thing. Exactly what it is. Sometimes

I'll suffer the effects. You know, that's tomorrow buddy's problem. I like I like Penn. I like Penn. I like pinto beans. Every now and then growing up, my mom would just make a big pot of pinto beans with hamhawks in them. And then I would dice up raw onions, put them in there. And I would put that like Texas peat. So you know the clear Texas peat that's got the green peppers? I'd put a bunch of that shit in there. But you're eating a huge bowl of pinto beans. That is the meal. And fiber. Yes. So now I only eat that

when I'm home alone for a few days. I'm like, pinto time. Pinto beans are a perfect example. That's one of the things that I can take or leave. Like to me, those are not that flavorful, not that good. Oh, with the handbox. Not in my top 10 of anything. But if someone serves me those pinto beans at their house, you bet I'm wolfing them down. You bet. I'm a little excited.

Is it psychosomatic or is that eyebrow better? Look at that fucking whole eyebrow. I think we might have a whole eyebrow, fellas. That's what I'm saying. Taylor, would you? Give some of your eyebrows to Yes, yes. I have a whole, I have a whole branch of eyebrows to donate.

That would be fascinating if you donated brow hair to Woody. I went for that. I said some too. I got a little to spare. Every once in a while I'll grab my eyebrows and pull out and I'll be like, my God. This is like how far one will go. I watched this marathon streamer. His name is Aztec Cross.

That dude's eyebrows are. so perfect he's got to tweeze him he's definitely tweezing his eyebrows they're beyond perfect and he's um i'm not sure about this i'm just going by look i think he might be native american indian if he's not he's he's something so he's just a little hairier yeah he is he's perfect eyebrows right he has very nice eyebrows yeah native americans are less hairy they're like uh they're like Asians and that they don't how what are you seeing as tech i guess What does that tell us? He looks Mexican to me.

Like, like, it looks like a good old New Mexico boy, you know, Arizona or something like that. He's a little brown. He's got that straight black hair and he's got a... He's a handsome guy. I like his content. Yeah. He plays my favorite game.

So... Yeah, fuck him. There it is. But his eyebrows are beyond perfect. As a guy with eyebrow deficiency syndrome... Take a little... A little ganderthin brows. Ooh, those are 100% growth.

to Woody, you're on the money. Like that's, that's not how anyone's eyebrows grow. I just saw him get very angry. Yeah. Yeah, look at those. Yeah, every so often they'll do a close-up and stuff. Those are sculpt it. You can see on the ridge at the top,

and almost that shiny bit of skin where there used to be hair. He just needs to embrace himself for who he is like me. No way. Those are tremendous. Every hair on his head is exactly. where he wants it. He brought it to. Yeah, he's brow mugs.

He's brow macksing. I could replace every one of the hairs in his eyebrows and still have thick eyebrows. Did you see clavicular did that interview and got really like kind of dunked on by the interviewer? And then he OD'd on meth like a couple days later at a club and had to be carried out like a sack of potatoes by his security. I saw the OD set of potatoes. potatoes thing but I didn't the Australian guy interview because I only saw one quote

to be fair where the Australian guy was like how do you think of yourself as a bit of a you know a kind of a leader for the insales and clavicular answered like my entire thing is that I you know have women around me all the time

my entire thing is ascending you out of insoldom why would you ask that. He was like twitching and like anicking to the question and he was like maybe maybe I could look at I see you've looked into me what if I wish I had taken the time to look into like who your who your wife cheated on you with

and he's like well I don't have a wife well clearly I haven't done my research I'm a homosexual it was a bad look but then I saw him a couple days later like on live stream on meth like losing like not consciousness

but like he needed to be I saw him carry him out like like he was on a mix of things seeming he looked like Spider Man being carried by the crowd when I hear meth

I think Adderall now how far off am I well there's similar chemical compounds but he's talking about methamphetamine like Walter White style okay that doesn't make you good at homework

I guess No, it makes you really good at picking facial scabs and masturbating. But I did see Kyle, I saw another clip where it was clavicular clearly like ODing and starting to like pass out from whatever mixture of drugs he had in this system at that club. And this Australian guy next to him, the same guy who gets like his wig stolen all the time was like seeing him OD and was like, you need an 80? maybe an eddy would help hips in the adderol yeah and he was like trying to give an adderall to a guy clearly odying and it's like wow these these guys are

maybe a little too much into the the pharma game yeah I don't think that's what they're into I think they're into the drug abuse game well that does seem to be part of it doesn't it yeah I've only ever odied on like marijuana obviously I have done that plenty of times Odeeing on marijuana is just re-making of yourself.

Is that just when you go to sleep? No, that's not like where you are like, I have to go to the hospital. And then you go to the hospital and they're like, calm down, retard. I've never done that. Like I never had to be rescued like my dad. But I have definitely like vomited. Like I've started vomiting from taking too much, from eating too many edibles. And had like a full on like, I remember the first time I took edibles.

this lady that So the guy that I was buying weed from at the time was a friend Like a male friend And the girl he was buying the weed from Was this hippie chick who grew it in South Carolina And like they had a cornfield But part of the cornfield was weed or something like that And she'd grow like half an acre of pot

So she had a ton And so she gave him a shoebox Full of Trimmings Trimmings Woody are the parts Around the bud, the flower part that's most potent that you normally smoke. This is everything but. Like all the little leaves around it,

all the sticks and stems and stems. But they're way less potent. Yeah. But it's still like active. You can cook that down. Yeah. That's what I did. So we cooked it down into oil and the oil turned black like motor oil.

We had cooked so much down into the oil. Like it looked like the darkest, so dark green that you couldn't see the green anymore. That doesn't mean you burnt it. No, it means I've extracted so much. Yep. trimmings into this pot of oil that the chlorophyll or whatever makes plants green has also leached in in such great quantities that has turned a dark dark green made fudge brownies with that shit my girlfriend's coming over for the first time ever this is the first time she's ever been to my house and we're sitting on the couch we eat these fudge brownies a whole one trailer i had a whole i cut it like a pie it was in like a pie plate and then it was frosted and i cut myself like a standard ground own man slice of pie and I ate that. And yeah. And then I, no one told me that these things take

like a long time to kick in. So like 45 minutes go by, I have myself another slice because they don't taste too bad. They don't taste too bad. And I'm talking about God knows how how potent this was, never had an edible in my life. When they kicked in, I specifically remember we were watching the episode of Trailer Park Boys where Mr. Leahy and Randy get caught being getting. and Randy's dressed up like a bumblebee and Mr. Leahy's dressed up like Indiana bones or something like that and it's like he's dressed up like a fucking bumblebee

like he's going to pollinate Mr. Lay here or something and I'm watching it and I'm losing time like I will see a scene and then an unknowable amount of time passes and then I see the next scene

and it's like I just lost three minutes and then I just lost at least two or three minutes and I'm losing time and the image of the TV seems to move wherever I look now. Like now it seems like I can watch TV even if I look up over there. Now I'm watching TV if I look over here. I'm still like seeing this rectangle of the trailer park boys being beamed into my brain and my mouth is numb and I hear us. I'm vibrating. Every inch of my body tingles like it's fallen asleep and it's just starting to wake up like pins and

needles everywhere and there's a low hum in my ears and I'm just like are you okay and she's like yeah I'm fine why I'm like oh no hers took hours to kick in when she woke up in the middle of the night and he goes I'm like right now I've come down a little and I'm like what's wrong baby what's wrong she's like where am I I'm like you're at my house she's like you're at my house she's like almost crying where do you live I live in gum log she's like

that's so far from where I live almost cries a little more and I'm like can I can I get you something with do you want some water and she's like yes I'm so thirsty and I'm like I'll get you some water and I go to like lean out of bed to go get it she snatches my arm don't leave me

full on panic attack meltdown mode Wait, so she ate the piece, fell asleep, and it didn't hit until... Her metabolism was so much slower than mine as a 25-year-old girl versus, like, a 25-year-old man, that mine hit me in two hours and hers hit her after four hours or something. Both of those times are so much slower than I'd expect. Like, a gummy hits in 40 minutes. Not for me. Like, it's two hours before I'm like...

A gummy. Gummy's hit quick for me. Like 45 minutes? I think that's solid. Yeah. That's how they hit me. Maybe. Maybe it's something. 30, 45.

Because it's definitely a different situation because gummies are sugar. So they're probably bonding the THC to like sugar molecules or something like that. Whereas like when I, what I was doing, it's bonded to the fat. You have to metabolize that fat and has to go through your liver. Like maybe it is faster. Taylor said something that like the gummies are really soluble. Like if you drop it in water, you won't have a gummy in a minute. Yeah.

So maybe your belly like gets it extra. fast in a way that it doesn't from a cookie or a brownie or cookies and brownies and stuff like that always take like a full two hours to to like actually kick all the way in if you're feeling scary high after one hour buckle up because you're you're heading up the tracks on the roller coaster right now you you you just started click click click click click click click click you're not you're not high yeah that's that's the worst feeling is when you start to get hit by an edible and you realize you've quite literally bitten off more than you can chew And you're like, oh, no, like, I'm getting time dilation.

I am, like, concerned. I'm, like, having deep, earnest concern about the plots of the show I'm watching, where I'm like, I really hope Ricky and Julian can get out of this. Like, almost upset by it. That's the worst. That's why gummies are the way to go. Quick, quick little pops. You can make them yourself, though.

You can make some, like, tastier stuff that's way, more potent, you know? And if you've, if you've got trimmings or something, it's free. I hear you, I'm not, potency isn't even a sales pitch to me. Like, I, I want an appropriate dose, not a high one. You also couldn't buy them back then. Like now you can go to any gas station. Yeah, how many? You can get a gum. 10 milligrams in the gummy gets me where I want to be. Like, if I take 20, I'm very, very high. Like, very high at this point with my, tolerance. I've had edibles in months and months. I just, I really like my vapes. Edibles are better than than vaping. Like I've become full on,

uh, preferential of edibles compared to vaping. Maybe I'll order some, give it another whirl. This, uh, that I use binoid.com and, and these are so good, like they're so cheap, so good. They taste good. Um, and I don't know, I like them a lot. They always have mushrooms or some mushroom vape. I thought we talked about it. One didn't come. Yeah, like I ordered it, but it didn't show up. Do those work though? The mushroom vapes is a scam. The reviews seem to suggest that they work. Like they've somehow got synthetic mushrooms or something.

Like maybe they got them out of, I don't know. I don't know how it works. I haven't looked too much into it. I ordered it, but it didn't come. And I took that as maybe they're not allowed in Georgia or something like that. I just didn't care. All my mushroom friends only take them as edibles. And I know if the vapes were solid, they'd be doing that because it is easier to

immediately get that hit. Mushrooms are hard to eat. Like I, it's, I haven't done it in probably two years or something. It's been a while. But it's like, okay, this isn't going to be easy. We'll get to the other side. I've got a cran grape chaser. Like we can make this.

We'll get through it. It's rough. My buddies who like to eat them like that will be like, yeah, you can make like a peanut butter sandwich. And I'm like, oh, so it just kind of tastes like a peanut butter sandwich. and they're like, oh, no, no. It's like the worst peanut butter sandwich you can imagine in your entire life.

I was just extending it longer. Just suffer it down and then eat a regular peanut butter sandwich. What I do every time is I take a testito scoop, like a tortilla chip, and I put the mushroom, I put a chunk of mushroom in it, and then I put salsa on top of that, and then I chew the whole thing up, and I don't notice the texture or the flavor, because the salsa is so overpowering

and the crunchiness of the chip kind of masked the chewy nastiness of the mushroom and I've done that every time I've ever taken mushrooms. That's way better. I just chew it, drink it with water and chase it with something sweet like a ginger ale or craned grape, but I

don't think that's good. There's a lot of room for improvement on my process. Maybe it's It tastes awful. It's rough because there are lots of good taste. You can make tea. So you can boil, you know, steep them in hot water and make a mushroom tea that then you could lace with honey or sugar or cinnamon or something like that sounds that sounds like extending your misery i know i know you get

it down without the chewing and the macerating and the little bit of mushroom can i interest you in like a cough syrup sandwich right oh yes why take a shot when i could make it a whole Here's the most degenerate, like, edible I've ever had when I would make homemade brownies or whatever. So the process, basically, I would always use butter because it's better than oil. But I would basically slow cook the carbonized, ground up weed in the butter. You activate it by heating it to a certain temperature in the oven covered in foil, then you grind it up, and then you simmer it in your butter. and then you filter it all out with like a panty hose or something and our cheesecloth and and you squeeze out all the cheese. Probably the food grade thing. Panny hose work better.

And they're easier to get. We didn't have cheesecloth at my grocery store at the time. In any case, once you're done, you have a certain amount of butter, you know, like you've got like that much. You don't, there's no way, because you lose some along the way, there's no way to know exactly how much you're going to have. But I always had enough for the recipe I was going to make. you know, the brownies or whatever. And then there'd be like a good bit left over, like a few chunks of butter. I would melt that down and make a butter shot. And it's green, like rancid tasting plant matter.

Like, I can still smell it. It's so off-putting. And when you shoot hot butter, it cools enough going down your throat that it starts thickening up and sort of, it's like drinking candle wax or something like Homer Simpson. Trying to eat those Diablo insanity pepper. for it. They're cultivating on the hell of insanity. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so gross. That still seems like extending it a little bit. But if you're going to have the butter, at least make it into a cookie, into a brownie. Well, you just got a little bit, though.

That's what I'm saying. It's the leftover brownies are making the cookies. Brownies are better than cookies for edibles because you can just pour that cocoa powder, pour that chocolate in really overpower it and even then with all of that it's like shit it still is a bad brownie like if i went to a store and bought a brownie like that i'd be like you had the worst brownies of all time these suck cupcakes cup i would do red velvet cupcakes and then i'd use real for um like frosting on them and they were strong as fuck and the frosting like covered up enough of the flavor that they were good

i remember i took them to my my buddy worked at a gun shop and i like roll up at the gun shop and like hey man I baked some cupcakes today. I opened some Tupperware. Would you like one? He's like, them same cupcakes you made before. Yes, they are, my friend. Better in fact.

Hell yeah, brother. Could I take two? I brought six for a reason, big boy. And I just remember him immediately like, and even then, I guarantee those cupcakes were subpar cupcakes. They'd been better without the weed. Yeah. There's no way to make a,

tasty strong baked good with weed in it. It just doesn't work. I mean, it works. It's just not a taste flavor. It'll get you fucked up. But like people who say like, oh, this cookie, it tasted. That's why those stories you hear where it's like this person ate eight cookies not knowing. And it's like, so they willingly ate eight terrible cookies.

It's a really bad flavor. You can, you can taste it. You can absolutely taste it. It's a bad taste. It's so much worse than a regular cookie, not even close. I know the flavor. I'm remembering it like in this olfactory way kind of right now. It's this sort of like rancid, dank kind of bong water smell.

It's it doesn't smell good. It doesn't taste good. You know, you would never use marijuana as like a seasoning for something. It's not like sage or rosemary or time. It is a weed that, that tastes and smells terrible. We used to have a sponsor that sold a marijuana gummy. or Delta. And it was like a rope

and outside the rope had these like hard candies on it. And you guys got the candies off. But I would just eat it as they made it. And I didn't taste. The sugar was so overpowering. I didn't really taste the bad part.

I hated those so much that when I would run out, I would just tell him to send me more of the regular gummies. I ended up throwing out a bunch of those nerd ropes. They're so bad. tried because they tasted terrible. And regular nerd ropes, not great.

These were reprehensible. I would pick all the nerds off. And then I would, I would use scissors to like cut off my dose off the rope. And I'd be like, I'd look at it for a second and like, like, psych myself. I would take them, I would like, I would roll it between my fingers and get it like kind of hot and gooey and take it like a pill. Like a pill. I swear to God, I would, I would like, I don't want to chew it because it's going to, I need to brush my teeth after. And even then, I'm still going to have some funk in my mouth.

It was so gross. I did not find them to be as gross as you did. My issue, though, was the nerd rope was like 2,500 milligrams. So I'd be like, somehow I have to like dose this thing. And that like three millimeters is kind of a good number for me. But if I get four millimeters, oh my God, I hope I have no responsibilities. And that's not a lot of room for error. There was no room for error with that.

And sometimes you'd like get a section of it and you even as you were eating it, you're like, that was a hot shot. That was a big boy. I don't think they're stirring it long enough. Sometimes I'll have like a gummy or two and it's like, yeah, no, I'm just a little relaxed. There's not some German guy in suspenders pulling that taffy. Looking it back on the wall. I think they just have some automated stir, run it for 15. seconds and say that'll do.

Yeah. That won't do. It was too much. I don't like the having to guess your dose thing with edibles. Yeah. Because then you're almost in a worse mood and primed for a bad time because you're like, did I take too much? Did I take too

little? Did I catch up? Yeah, did you catch up on Invincible and The Boys? Invincible for sure. The boys, I saw I think I saw three I definitely saw two. Yeah, there's three. The third one

involves a bunker underground and an invisible character. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's his son we're talking about, right? Sure, yeah, it was translucent son. Yeah, yeah, I'm caught up. I'm finding the boys, like, I'm watching it to see how it ends.

There was a time when I thought the boys was the best thing on TV at the moment and I was really into it and it was just up there in that like upper pantheon of shows. Maybe I use that word right. Yeah. Now I'm like, eh, I've watched four and a third seasons. I might as well see how.

I think the season is better than last season. Like I love Homelander losing his mind. I like that they got Jensen Ackles back. You know, the, the, um, the,

um, the, Um, the, the, Soldier's father. Whatever is fucking soldier. Soldier.

Yeah. Soldier. I'm glad soldier boys back I enjoy him always and I kind of like that the Asian chick talks now this virus thing is pretty interesting You know the other supernatural guy is going to be in this season? Yeah

Padalecky yeah he's going to be in later is the supernatural guy Yeah yeah both of them now for him Getting some yeah yeah he was in last season too he's got his character was basically The original badass superhero like the strongest one ever And then he got captured by the Russians and frozen and held captive for like the last 70 years.

So he's a 1950s man in the 21st century. So he's calling people like come-guzzling butt pirates or something like that. I don't think that's a 1950s insult. I think we know what a 1950s insult is. He's using them all. Like he's pretty rude and rude about it. No, not all. Not all, unfortunately.

But he is very... And so he's the equal of... homelander he's the different powers but but he seemed they seem to be on he made it be stronger in a fist fight like I don't know who would win and he and his like

his like cult if you will is basically turning into like a hydrogen bomb or something and killing everything around him like he can explode it doesn't bother him but like he can just kill everything around him when he really gets stiked up that's noteworthy part of that bomb is it takes powers off of soups

yeah oh so he would destroy all the other superheroes. Anybody around him when he pops? He turns him into humans. Oh, well then fucking bada bing, bada boom seems pretty easy

for him to take care of Homeland. So anyway, I'm liking this season so far. There's only three episodes. It feels like there's been more. Like a lot has happened. I'm looking forward to when they blend the Gen V characters in.

I can't think of the black chick's name, but she's common. They've mentioned her by name a few times. And she might be Homelanders equal in some ways. She controls blood, like at a very fundamental level. It seems like she could just do almost anything when it comes to hurting another human being. She can just... Did you guys watch Avatar, the cartoon one, not the James Cameron one?

No. No, I didn't see how. Well, anyway, there's three kinds of benders, and one is water bender, and there's this, like, sort of power they're never meant to tap into where they can bend blood and control other people like puppets. And that's what she's a bloodbender. basically. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So yeah, I'm digging it so far. Looking forward to more of it. Stop or start AIDS. More like controlling people like a puppet, making them blow up. She can bring you up to life. She can like make your heart start feeding again and heal you. And like she controls blood at a very fundamental level. Like she makes blood cells do things.

She's right though. Yeah. She can also control like missiles of blood like pissles. Well, that's a way. Right. It's really terrifying. Going into a fight, she cuts her own palms, and now she has like endless... Imagine Spider-Man's webs

that shoot holes right through you and out the back of you. I feel like she could be doing a lot more a hospice. Yeah, she absolutely could, yeah. Yeah, I really like Jack Quaid. I'm liking Jack Quaid more by the day. I knew his dad was Dennis Quaid.

I didn't know his mom is Meg Ryan. that guy goes on YouTube he says I watched red letter media the movie guys he's on their YouTube channel like every other month or something like that doing a three hour like session with them like watching the movies with them and judging him and stuff he's on the most recent one and he seems so normal and down to earth and just like a dude like he doesn't seem weird at all McCauley Culkin's been on there a bunch of times too and you can tell that he's a little different that experience that you're having is why I like watching the NBA a little bit.

Like, you know, these guys, and there must be six, ten people in the NBA that have podcasts. And they get like their teammates on and are just, you know, friends from around the league and they all chat. And some of it's in-depth basketball stuff that I barely understand. But a lot of it is, you know, arguing about the greats and rules and stuff like that. And then Invincible comes back out with a new episode.

We finally go to Planet Viltrum and face down Emperor Thrag. and holy shit. A bunch of dragged P&Gs fighting. They did like a 20 minute fight scene. Like the episodes maybe 45, 50 minutes and 20 solid minutes of it are just Superman combat

and space to the death. Is it good though? Because I've seen it. I've seen a banger in this show. Okay. You might be maybe I'm probably angry at the show like showing the worst. The worst seconds. Yeah. I am like

when you do Battle of the Bastards, the episode that follows that isn't also Battle of the Bastards. This season has had like five Battle of the Bastards. Just bangor after bangor after bangor. I keep thinking like, oh, there's going to be a come down, you know,

this week. Don't expect it to be like last week, but it is. I think Invincible is firing on all cylinders right now. Yeah, the animation is definitely lacking. There was a scene in the most, recent episode where a character gets like punched in space in the background and they're like

flying from the recoil being punched and then they literally disappear they forgot to keep animating it that character but it was in the background it was a little popcorn poof in the back the animation could be better i wish it were better but it it it rises above that little lack that it has like it's sometimes you forget characters are so strong it was like a you know some background shit you know It wasn't, in the foreground were too, like, Superman ripping each other apart. Yeah. You remember in the background of Braveheart where fucking Grimmis walked by? Dude, you go on the background of Braveheart.

You're going to see a lot of people just kind of like having schoolyard stick fights. Braveheart's a bad example because you're exactly right. Yeah, they really did the shake make. Shake, shaky cam to try. Aren't there like cars? Where is their car? Is it Lord of the Rings? Is it?

Definitely not. It might be braveheart. There's been anachronistic stuff in the background. Planes, like jet stream, contrails, stuff like that. I can see the background. Yeah, that's a real fuckeroo. Chemtrails. But what I was going to say about the show, like basically, Taylor, we finally, we've been,

we met General or Emperor Thrague maybe like last season. He's got a glimpse at him. He's like the Thanos character. But we haven't seen him do anything yet. Last episode, he was very passive. He was like overseeing about. and never got involved. And then he had to chicken out and run away at the end.

And it was like, our heroes have this. There's like, we've got like seven heroes on our side stacked up. We got a guy with a super pistol that shoots through planets. We got a girl in a robot suit that can kind of do anything. We've got like three viltramites, like a father and two sons. And we've got an old viltramite whose powers. We don't even know the scale of this old guy wearing the toga who shows up. And then we've got the.

Alan the alien played by Seth Rogan, who's like a cyclops. It's kind of a mystery. Like he doesn't even know why he's so strong. They like made him into a super soldier. He's like the Captain America of the space cyclopsies. Like he's so hardcore. He can seemingly take on a viltramite himself. You got it.

Yeah. And so like they're going to planet Viltram, a planet whose rings are made of dead Viltramites as a memorial to this holocaust they had. It's terrifying. And there's General Thrag or Emperor Thrag or whatever. when we finally see him fight it's like oh no

no we're not even it's not even a fight our strongest guy flies from like a hundred kilometers away at super speed ready to give the hardest punch that's ever been punched and he's like

grabs it breaks his hand you're like what the fuck what do we do if that's our best guy he this is a bit of a spoiler just one thing the super old Viltramite these guys gets to get stronger

and stronger and stronger he grabs him by the head in the waist and pulls him apart just pulls him get off sounds cool as hell team Thrag I don't know what his goal is but he sounds cool we don't even

I don't have an idea of what to do with him he can beat all of our guys up at the same time seemingly you give him your best shot and it doesn't do anything yeah he doesn't care like nothing phased him he didn't even get that like bloody nose and smirk kind of moment like oh that for a single drop of blood you don't even get that you can't even hit him i don't think they ever hit him at one point a player one of the guys head butts him with like a flying superman headbut and the dragon's just like yeah let's take it like and it just nothing stops him he punches our hero so hard that our hero leaves we're in space fighting by the way outside the planet he hits our hero so hard our strongest hero that he's hits the planet like a meteor and makes a crater and flies down to the planet, talks some shit. And then he does like a wind-up uppercut punch that makes the wind like like like to the room.

The strongest hero is that guy from the. Omni Man is J.K. Simmons. From the insurance commercials. Yes. Yeah. He hits J.K. Simmons with an uppercut that he just punched him from space down to the planet. And now we're on the planet. And he uppercuts him so hard.

He leaves the planet and goes back in the. the space. It seems like diplomacy might be an option here. See, that's what makes him a really good villain. He offers diplomacy. This drag guy is like, hey, you guys are misguided. What are you doing? You're siding with them? We're viltramites. All is ours. What are you doing? Leave him. You don't think he's going to turn on you the second you get rid of me. Join with me. We'll defeat him and rule together. See, all will be forgiven. And our guy's like, fuck all that noise. And he's like, ookie dokey.

And like makes a tornado punch or some shit. It was like something like an anime. He does just like what he just did. He does three stooges shit on him. He like cranks this punch up and the, you see the wind like come into the room. Like he creates a vacuum with the punch like wind up and hits him so goddamn hard. He turns into like a beam of light. as he flies through the roof and into space again.

It's a really overpowered. The vilterrites are really durable, and they can recover from seemingly mortal wounds. Oh, yeah. But one of their go-to moves is the knife hand. They just put their hand in a straight line like this, poke them in the belly, and their hand goes out the other side,

and then they start pulling intestines out. And you're like, how is this survivable? He just needs some protein, he'll be right. Oh, no. He found our weakness being torn apart. That is their weakness. Their only weakness is being torn in half. I think they'd survive being torn in half.

You really got to get the head off the body. The ends together real quick. I think they might get pulled through. Sure. If you're quick about it. Yeah. It was a banger of an episode. It was so good.

When those episodes end, first of all, they're not too short. They're nice and long. They're 40, 50 minutes. and at the end of it, you get that it's over, you've had your fill, but you still want some more. I'm like buffering toward the end,

hoping there's a post-credit scene. There usually is. No post-credit scene, but I'm like, fuck, because the end of the episode is, like, our boys are beaten half to death,

and most of them escape, and they're like trying to figure out where the bad guy went, and then Mark goes, he's heading to Earth, and then the episode ends. And you realize that, like,

Thrags at Earth, now with his boys. He's still got a, like a killer squad with it. Praise Thrag. Praise Thrag. I always say, I would bend the need of the Viltramites. They are clearly gods compared to us. They are gods. In every measurable way, that is a god. Not only do they have

like space technology that's like generations and generations ahead of us. That alone almost makes them worship worthy. They fly. And I don't mean like they fly to like town or they fly to Tokyo on a lark. They fly to other star

systems by like flexing real hard and just going. By looking really determined. They seem to be immortal unless you like really rip their head off. Like they just live thousands of years. Nolan is a thousand years old. Yeah and he looks good. Kyle said he'd bend the knee. But the thing is they're coming to Earth because

Viltramites and Earthling like biology work well together. I think I'd flirt Right I'd be there in my parameder Like not bad for a human huh I'm with you 100% I'm trying to get me some viltramite pussy That's gotta be the

And don't make her I can just imagine like what if I'm What if I make her come And she contracts and crushes my cock Like it just explodes That's how I want to die Oh my God That's how I want to die

What happened to Kyle He made us put it on his tombstone Just before he passed out from blood loss. He was crushed by a pussy to death. I just watched the clip. That's so funny watching that super confident superhero have his head and arm torn off. He did it to everybody.

Like, just left and right, Thrag is like, enough of you. And it's like, oh, God, did he just kill a main character?

Oh, fuck. He just ripped that kid's face off. Like, oh, was that a main character? They were all main characters at this point. You know,

this is the fourth season. Everybody's kind of a main character. character at this point. We're all kind of like... I guess they don't have superpowers against weight gain. Yeah, they kind of have power bellies like a couple of the vilter mites. I don't think,

I guess you could call them fat, but it's sort of a strong kind of fat. Yeah, they're like, they're like world's strongest man fat. They've got those pivot bellies. And apparently the go-to move is to sword punch through the belly. Might want to build that thing up.

that's just sit-ups I'd wear some farmer based on this one minute clip resistance is futile Thrag wins I've read the comics so I know resistance isn't futile but even

I don't remember the specifics of how we win I just know eventually Does he have like maybe a peanut butter allergy It could literally be like he surrenders and leaves or something like that I don't know how they eventually

are going to defeat this guy I just know eventually it happens but I don't know I did how Of course they have I don't even know who does it. Yeah, yeah. I read through the comics. Like I knew exactly what was going to happen on two episodes ago when Mark fought Conquest for the second time.

I was like, I can't wait for Mark. Oh, is this guy not Conquest? No, Conquest. That's what Mark says. Invincible flies up and he's like, I killed Conquest and I'll kill you. And when he says that, all of those remarks were like, the fuck, that guy killed Conquest?

Because Conquest is always, like even some flashbacks you see that Conquest is like afraid of Thrag, but he's almost thinking about trying Thrag. Like, like, until now Conquest has been the most... You got to earn a name like Conquest, yeah. The way Mark kills Conquest in their second fight, he gets him like this to choke him, to strangle him, and he says, that's the last breath you'll ever take. And Conquest is beating Mark senseless for minutes while he chokes him to... He's pouring his intestines out?

Can he not just, like, pull his hands apart? Mark won't let go. Mark's of ultramite too. Mark is very strong. Well, we've already established that there are different tiers of strength within these guys. He won't let go, Taylor. He's super pissed. So Mark is a bit of a question.

Mark. Conquest just get me angry and set me in front of this fucking piano. That's how it works. That's how it similarly works. Okay, well, maybe. Mark is invincible, the title character. And he's Viltramite slash human, which apparently is a really good recipe.

and his power scaling is sort of undefined. Like he just hit puberty three years ago. So he keeps getting better at a rate that's not normal. He's like he beat conquest. Like we don't know where Mark's limit is. I don't think it's lore or can or rather, but it should be that the way they can't, that age makes them more powerful,

but sustaining and recovering from damage should make you more powerful. Because if that were the case, Mark has been beaten with an inch of death a dozen different times Alan the Alien works I didn't know that now Yeah every time Alan the alien like takes damage or whatever

He levels up And that's pretty neat I would explain a lot Because he's continuously getting like stronger And like like And I love battlebeast He's not allowed to like masturbate or have sex All of his semen is supposed to go towards making more Allen's

but he has a girlfriend whose entire concept of connection and such is basically banging. Her name is genitalia. It's a play on that. It's like General Talia. Oh, I didn't catch that.

You didn't catch General Talia? They don't say it nice and slow for you. And there's plenty of gobbly gooks. She's like, this is General Talia and this is Pete the prick. That's so obvious. We told you the other day I heard Alan were fucking constantly.

Omni Man's just being tortured by the sounds of them banging all night every night. I like that little side bit. Every time she sees him, it's like time to bang again. He stuck one past the goalie with General Talia. Have you ever seen the Saturday in a live bit where they have Colonel Angus?

I've seen Colonel. Southern Antebellum times post Civil War. So they're like, Colonel Angus, where have you been? I was wounded at Big Beaver. And it's Christopher Walking is playing Colonel Angus. It's hilarious. It's just Southern women like,

Conalangus. Oh, I love Conalangus on a hot summer day. And then the one guy's like, never suited me. Don't care for. I never cared for a lot of Lange's. Always. A summer day. honestly.

Yeah. Yeah. Post-Civil War times was not prime convalingous days. Not at all. We live in the best times ever. We've got the cleanest pussies in history right here for us right now.

The cleanest everyone. I was just asking chat GPT about women's leg and pubic hair trimming in the old west. And basically didn't do it. Yeah, I didn't realize women didn't shave their hair

until like, deep in the 1900s, the 20s, the 50s, something like that. I don't know this for a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was all propaganda from razor companies. It's literally it. Yeah, they advertised enough to change like society standards. Just like birthday cards. Like Hallmark is like just invented a new thing. Yeah.

A $4 piece of paper. I'm probably out of date on that. With someone else's washboard sentiment written on. it like like just I don't I don't buy people cards I refuse I won't buy into that industry I let them know there makes the best cards she buys blank cards and she paints them and write something that she came up with on her own and I it's really cool that's very sweet I would save those mm-hmm yeah just tears them what the money the shadows are going two different directions what are we in the

Andromeda galaxy. Nice trying, mom. $20 gift card to Texas Roadhouse. What am I supposed to get a fucking sirloin? Won't even cover the bloominion. Ready to wrap? Yeah, I suppose so. That's enough of that. All right. Check out our sponsors,

our guests. Links in the description. P.K.A. 800.