Painkiller Already - PKA 801 W/ Josh Pillault: Kyle’s Youthful Vandalism

Episode Date: April 25, 2026

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fan favorite Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Lock and Load and our wonderful merchandise. Talk more about them later. Josh, it's been too long. How are you? Man. Hey, man. It's been great. I'm doing just fine. Having some upheaval in life. I learned not too long ago, it was a surprise to me that I was getting a divorce. So I'm here at my dad's house now. It happens. And yeah, it took a real job. I think a lot of people know that. I took a real job. You know what I mean? I was managing a pizza. shop for like almost two years, but I recently used that as a footstool, footstep to, uh, to become a line chef at a fancy place. So things getting better slowly but surely.

I also have been in touch with an author about, uh, wanting to release my memoir and she's going to try to make some deals happen this upcoming month. So got things working. I'm trying to come back a little bit to content creation, but all those things are interesting to me. Let's take it in order. Yeah. She just said, Hey honey, about us. Nah, like, how did this go?

Uh, it started off with a suspicion of me thinking that she was talking to somebody else. And that person was on the other side of the world. But that's still enough for me for it to, you know. Oh, yeah. So it's a sort of online affair. Yeah, more or less. So, I mean, like, even though nothing happened, man,

I got to have some self-respect and, uh, you know, unfortunate, but. I don't like the online affair, the emotional affair. as they say, but the fact that he's on the other side of the world is ideal, right? Like I could almost let that one go. Like if she's like flirting, if she's like flicking her bean while she talks to some Frenchman, I'm like, what's he got to do? Get a transatlantic flight hop over here and like eat my girlfriend's pussy.

Like he's just getting her warmed up before she comes to bed. Yeah. Good way of looking at it. Fucking Jacques was just getting her warmed up for me. That's all. It was adding character development because she was talking to a guy. a master chef in France and a big hat and you're like someday. Sometimes you all be the master chef.

She tells you not to worry about he's a chef. He was helping her out with her duo lingo, you know. This wasn't anything bad. What country was he in, do you know? Canada. So, I mean, not really halfway across the world, I guess. Yeah, that's closer to home. Yeah, as a Canadian.

Yeah, we border them. But luckily, we're in the south, you know, so it's like just about as geographically far as you can possibly get from it. You have to be wary. So, yeah. So why were you suspicious? Was she, you like walk in the room and she just closes the laptop and acts like she was looking at the wall?

More or less, just acting a little different with the phone and after us being together for eight years, I noticed fairly quickly, you know, so it is what it is. Like right after that happened, not to sound like a braggadocious asshole, but right after all that happened and we were like,

okay, this is over now is what I got reached out to by that author that wants to help me get my book and also some guys that came to town to film a documentary here about two years ago about my case. they came out of the woodwork. I thought that was over with and dead. And they were like, hey, man, we just finished the investing trailer for it that we're going to shop around to people and try to get funding for it.

So this is full speed ahead. And I was like, man, what a coincidence that like now I know that I've got to sign divorce papers before I sign any contracts. Yeah, I was going to say, make sure that's all, you know, locked up tight before you sign any agreements that could be lucrative. I looked at it as like a lesson in life almost, like the people that aren't meant to be in your life will not be there for the phases they're not supposed to be there for. So it's not what I saw coming.

It wasn't what I wanted, but it's happened. You guys had an apartment together. We had a house. How long were we together? About eight years, seven and a half, eight years. How long were you married? Five and some change like five and a half. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's not nothing. That's, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't some throwaway stuff. At least not to me, it wasn't. But I mean, I think that I always say everything happened. for a reason, but I think that's a little vague, and I prefer the term that everything in life is a lesson to the well-ordered mind. So I'll learn what I can, grow from it, change, and next one will be the winner, let's hope.

Well, sorry. Third time's usually a charm, but keep it up. Damn, man. I got to go through one more, shit. That's tough, but then again, the answer to Woody's question of, like, how are you doing is so much better than, like, all right. like oh everybody i've been gone for so damn long it just up and disappeared it was real uh what's the word i'm looking for here it was real sudden that like my landlady

called me one day and was like hey i know you said this stuff's been kind of drying up my buddy says he needs a guy to manage his pizza shop and so i just kind of fell into it i was like you know what yeah sure i'll take the consistency and um did that for like i said this next month would be two years but now i'm working in the country club and i'm a lot happier because i want to talk to the fucking customers. Were you making the pizza? Like stepping in and, you know, hand stretch,

hand toss, New York style cooked on a stone. I spent two years fucking perfecting it. And now I move over to the country club. And the first thing they said was like, do you know how to make pizzas by hand? I got this. Stand back.

Yeah, no problem. So I just pretty much make all the pizzas there and help prep and stuff like that. But my favorite part is that I just stand in the back in the kitchen. And when somebody makes an order, we get a little ticket because at pizza shop, I had to be front of house and back of house and making their food and trying to entertain them. And for some reason, people care about like, I'm not like this.

But people care about reading all the shit on walls at restaurants and oh, how long have you been here and all this? They care about the lure like crazy. And I'm like, can you just buy some pizza? I don't need to give you the synopsis of like what time frame the owner opened the store and stuff. I don't know. I got real customers. Was it one of those like it was almost like a Chili's or TGI Fridays where they just have like a random plow bolted to the wall or like a, a spoked wagon wheel

above you for no reason that kind of shit. I like New York related art. Okay. There's a Chinese place. There's a Chinese place near me that's like authentic Chinese. Everyone who works there is Chinese. And their wallpaper is just a very small repeat

that says like New York on a like a street sign. Like you know how usually it would say it be like New York. Then it would show buildings. And then it would show some other part of New York. but they stopped it at just this street sign. And so it's just like an oppressive, like modern art exhibit that just says New York boldly all around. Great food, though. Terrible design.

That's the important part is how the food is, at least for me. I don't care about the goopy shit on the walls. Yeah. How much work are you doing like cooking now compared to then with non-pisa? Because I know you're doing like the chef path. Less. I do a little less cooking overall, more like prep stuff just because I haven't learned all the ends and outs of the stuff to make yet. Like I can make a mean chicken cassidia because it's cheese and chicken and you fold it.

And that's about it. But they're working on it with me. They're going to teach me to be saute chef and grill chefs. So I'll learn some life skills in the meantime before hopefully this next phase of the book can start to come to life. Okay. Is it a dramatic kitchen environment like you see in movies or if you ever talk to stuff? chefs or whatnot. They're usually covered in tattoos. There's a lot of tattoos back there, but they're all super cool and super professional.

I think that just about any job can be tolerable if you like your coworkers and I like all my co-workers. I've heard all the coworkers bang each other at restaurants in the back there. Is that true? I'm waiting to find that out myself. I've been keeping that one under the hat, you know, like washing, observing, single, you know, ready to mingle, pop it like a pringle. I'm not sure.

I'll give you an update. I'll let you know. That rumor's true. We're not. This has been on Reddit so many times. They're like, everyone thinks nurses and hospitals are where people bang.

No, sirree. It's restaurants and cruise ships. Everyone's banging those jobs. And the Olympics. Yeah. That Olympic village. It's a free for all.

They should encourage that. Every time I see, they're like, oh, they're putting a lot of condoms out for the Olympics. I'm like, if there was ever a time where we could create a couple of Superman,

like maybe, let the pole vaulters and the long distance runners or the professional basketball or hockey or football team like let him go at it you know we'll have some better Olympians in a few years this is the kind of leadership our planet needs let the Olympians fuck actually that might be bad for us

we would have to make sure that it was just that we get the benefit of it every Olympic baby gets an automatic citizenship to America perfect love it That's the funniest Olympic thing where they're like, this guy from Kenya who's lived in Australia for two seconds is the fastest long distance runner of all time. And they're like, Australia, here we are. What are you talking about?

That's always silly to me. We had those two athletes, those two ladies who were like half Chinese and one of them sold out and took that Chinese money. and competed for them and the other did the opposite. And then, like, there was a little bit uproar about it, but then they just gave her a bunch of magazine and, like, endorsement deals, like, even though she sold out to China. What a bad luck.

Sell it even more. Yeah. She should have been punished. It's like you can go live in China now. You can't be our curling captain. She's lucky she went under Trump's radar. That's the kind of, like, petty shit he'd do. You know what?

How about you live in China now? How about you just live there? No. Is she American or Canadian? I'm American. I forget. Oh, American.

Okay. Yeah, I thought she had like a Chinese mom or maybe a Chinese dad. But she wasn't even born in China. She just couldn't crack our lineup, I think. And so China was the thing. She was the most decorated skier in the history of a planet. Like,

yeah, she wasn't, she could crack our lineup. China bought themselves a better athlete and took one away from us. Oh, well, then fuck her. I thought she would have been like the, you know,

12 man. Her baby. This is the plan. This is like when fucking like Bulgaria steals an athlete from someone and it's like, I wasn't even going to make the team. It was like, they head hunted like one of our better athletes and took her.

I actually poached somebody good. We should poach one of theirs. I don't know. One of those little gymnasts. We should, no, no, we should take Jackie Chan. No,

kill him. Damn. That'll show them. Is he like 70 now? They put one of ours in the hospital. We put one of theirs in the morgue. I like Jackie Chase. The Chicago way.

Maybe Yao Ming. We kidnap him. Put him in a cage. He was good. He came over here and played. He's not playing European football or Chinese ball. Yeah, we kind of did that with Yao Ming in a way. We put him.

He played in Houston, I think. But he didn't compete for the U.S. in the Olympics, you know? True, true. That would have been wild if Yao Ming had played for the U.S. team in the in the Olympics, but obviously didn't. I bet he went and played for China. Wouldn't that be like the real score settler would be like your whole team is actually from that country?

Because like, I mean, if you can just poach from other countries, then like, is it really even the Olympics? I'm confused. Yeah, I can see that. But it's like Olympics. It used to be an amateur thing. And then it was tricky to define an amateur because under communism, the amateurs were kind of pros.

And now it's just full on professional athletes playing against each other. It's got to be. It's too boring to watch amateurs play those. Like if you're watching the NHL all year and then you watch a bunch of goobers out there on the ice, it's like, no thanks. Like I know you guys are like the year all, but no, come on. Or worse, like, you know, you just know America or Canada could win, say, ice hockey almost all the time. But because we're sending a bunch of college kids out there, Russia is the dominant team. And that feels bad.

Yeah. for a while like the U.S. and China or yeah the U.S. and Canada weren't sending professional hockey players but Russia was sending their KHL players which is the second best league in the world and so they were just overperforming and it was like what's the this is just pretend this is like a pretend league because we have our guys sitting at home watch it basketball too I think the dream team got created because our basketball team lost to the Russians and we're like this is ridiculous we literally have

Michael Jordan and we're sending like Christian Leitner out over there or something like that instead. Forgive me if I got the times wrong but yeah you know college kids I heard somebody in the dream team talking the other day about how how much they were passing and how like selfless they were he's like whoever had the highest school got drug tested

which meant you had to stay behind for two extra hours of testing so at the end of the game we're all just passing and they were like look how selfless they are playing playing on the world stage like nah homie i wanted to go back to the room yeah scared to take a shot i'm not trying to drop 30

i got a long jumper to try and fuck probably yeah maybe or if it's jordan and the dream team they probably want to go gamble or gampi you know jordan is such an interesting character to me i wish he wasn't a billionaire so that we could have like a reality show with michael jordan where he was like going to pick the best streetballer in the world and going to give them like a shot at an NBA contract or something.

I thought that whole documentary about him. What was it called? The ESPN one where the cameras follow him through that whole championship season. You've got all that behind the scene stuff. It's where those memes come from where Jordan's like, and I took that person. I took that person. It wasn't 30 for 30, was it? No, it was something else.

It's on Netflix now. It's tremendous. The last dance. The last dance. The last dance is so good. It's so good. Oh yeah. One of my coworkers recommended that to me, actually.

He said it was awesome. Like, I'm not a huge basketball fan at all, but I love greatness. And Jordan is greatness, that incredible, like, competitive nature that he had. Some of the stories that you get the behind the scene stuff about Rodman and Pippin and the contract stuff and Jordan's off the court stuff and how he'd get like, I take that personally. And then he came out the next night and he scored 850 points. How can he just will himself? One point for every $1,000 he lost gambling the evening prior.

I love that about Michael Jordan is that he's the best basketball player ever. And so he goes out gambling. And in his head, he's like, I'm fucking Michael Jordan. And then he's not even, he just loves it. He's not even good at it. We don't know. Loses tremendous sums of money. Does he?

Like, like, I don't know if he wins or loses. I know he's good at F1, apparently. Like, isn't his team doing really? No, NASCAR, it's NASCAR. He bought, like, I think he has three cars on his race team. And a while back, they were like first place, fifth place and 12th place or something like that. It was like popping champagne and celebrating. That's when he was getting hansy with that small child.

But we all ignore that because he's the greatest. Wait, wait, we're just going to gloss that over? Yeah, yeah. He was playing like, butt grab with this little white boy. It was weird. It looked like some old man like silly billy stuff. It did because, I mean, good guy. We were like at the winter's circle or something or the cup presentation.

And he's just like just getting him a little handful of boy ass and like, tic-a-tick-a-tick-tick-a-tick-oh. Yeah. Was the boy in a diaper? No, he could stay. He was, he was, he was ambulating, you know. He was probably nine, ten, eleven. Oh, wow. prepubescent little

feller but Michael Geregian grab my ass like if George tell me if you're like hanging out with Jordan and he gets a little

handsy with the what are you going to say nothing I turn around so he grabs the front that's right I want some of that Jordan

he's a billion yes sir I've seen him in those Haynes commercials it's been a while Haynes commercials got me scared to death over here

yeah he's not like Shaq he doesn't do the commercial game anymore at least not that I can see he was all about It was him and Mia Hamm in every Gatorade commercial for like the late 90s, early 2000s. And then Gatorade, McDonald's, Haynes.

I just remember when I was a kid, it was Space Jam. Like, I had never seen Michael Jordan play basketball, but I had seen him in Space Jam. Yeah, there he is, get him a little grab ass. No big deal. Man, you even did a good imitation of how pinched he was. Yeah, he's coming in. He's coming in like this. He's got some cake in his hand right there. What the hell?

A little C-clamp. Use that with your AR-15. Who's to say? to say what was happening. But that would really sour the winter's circle. Before even the champagne's out of the bottle. Jordan's already copping feels over here. Hurry up and announce who won.

They let you do it when you're a star. I know people argue the him versus LeBron thing. And as someone who doesn't watch basketball, I just take my friend's opinion as fact of like, oh, yeah, like, you know, Jordan was the better. overall player, but LeBron's played against harder competition, whatever, whatever, whatever. But every clip I see

on social media of LeBron is him diving in a way that's so egregious. And I know that's just what makes it to like the popular clip thing. But you know that thing basketball players do where someone doesn't hit them and they like scoot themselves backwards, like

where they shoot themselves like it's an anime across the floor. What the fuck? Like he's six foot 10. and jacked and he's acting like he's being pushed around by these other guys it's that that's over the line that's bad sportsmanship that's a good way yeah i don't know what kind of is i don't know about i don't know enough about basketball but lebron's won like four out of ten championships and michael's one six out of six oh brawn right now austin reeves and lucca donovitch hopefully i pronounced lucas name right are both injured or out or something and lebron is single-handedly

carrying his team in the playoffs he looks fucking amazing he's 41 years old and they're showing him like i'm seeing side by sides of him at 41 and him at 21 and is the only difference is he's stronger now he's so fucking impressive he's killing it and he's 2 and oh in the playoffs that's where they are and i'm a bit of a lebron fan i i also like greatness so i'm kind of predisposed to be like the one we have now is the great one. And it's also just fucking wildly true. Like if you took some hockey player from 1993, 1993, 1991, and put him in today's game, he would be very confused at the complexity of the offense, the defensive schemes, like just how much the game has evolved since 1991. That's what LeBron's playing in right now. Whereas Jordan, they just fucking

wave people out of the way in ISO. It's, you know, playground ball. Well, you see those old clips have been beating the shit out of Jordan and it not getting called. It seems like if he had that freedom to run about and draw all those fouls in today's game, he would be doing better. And also, LeBron, I think, spins 1.5. He beat the fluk out of Jordan with one hand behind his back. Like, you say, like, oh. And Jordan would make his two free throws and restart.

Or, like, physical league, LeBron is built for this physical leave. He was just eating cake in the 19. 1990s because no one could stop him. But Shaq, I think that Jordan, oh, I was going to say LeBron spends like $1.5 million on his, like, body every year they said. If Jordan was, I feel like if Jordan was in the modern, in the same age group, like in the same generation,

he would, he would, how old was he when he played for the Wizards? It's like 40, 41, right? Something like that. I want to say younger. It was definitely a diminished Jordan, you know. know it wasn't georgian anymore but i i feel like he would have had the same longevity that lebron has brought about with modern science and all these good all these whatever he's doing that he's spending a million and a half on his body a year i heard stephen a uh saying that the other day

that doesn't even seem like that much like between like he's probably getting like that joe rogan inject your plasma into your like uh you know kneecaps or whatever the fuck to keep yourself So watched Jordan was 38 to 40 when he played for them. And LeBron's 41 right now far better than that Jordan was. And Jordan took two years off in the middle of his career. Like that is sort of the, you know, you want to extend your career. Just fucking take two years off and heal everything. Like I don't get the like that argument so much.

It's like, yeah. Is that when he was playing baseball? Yeah, he took two years off to play baseball. And he was going to keep playing. but there was a baseball lockout and like he he would have definitely made the pro team like as one of the scrubs but he felt like that was a really bad look

you know sort of skipping the lockout or whatever even though they're pulling up all the minor league players to fill and Jordan would have perhaps been one of those guys he's like you know I come to the rich get richer like it's not a good look for him to like fill in so he went back to best I've always wondered about the behind the scene stuff because it's so bizarre for him to leave the league at the top,

and they come back and still be at the top. Like, clearly there was nothing wrong with this game. So it's either gambling and he got caught and they suspended him for a year and he used this as a great excuse. Like, yeah, I'm retiring from the game of basketball. Or he owed money, perhaps, to some mobsters. His father was murdered under those weird circumstances right in the middle of that time period as well.

So I always wonder about that because that's, it's so, czar to step away from the game when you're not just at the top of your game you're at the top of the game he's he left at the top and when he came back two years later he was at the top again and that's what the whole documentary is about he wins it again he won it again he lost he got beat but and then he came back and won the year after that okay he won back he didn't he went back to back like right before he retired yeah so he won three he came back and got beat but they like don't count it because he didn't make the finals that's a thing that's a thing thing about Jordan. They're like, oh, he's six for six. Oh, did he play six years? Is that one? Was his career

six years long? Or does he have like fucking 14 more years where he didn't make the finals? And he would just ignore that he gets knocked out in the first round, whereas poor LeBron makes it to the finals and they're like, loser. But I go on. I digress. But yeah, he came back and he was playing great. Like, statistically he was good, but his team got beat. And then the next three years he won. Was Michael Jordan good enough at baseball that he would have made a pro team if his name was like Joe Schmo and he wasn't Michael Jordan? Documentary on this. And I think the takeaway was that they thought he was on the path to being good enough. The rate that he was improving and he hit like 250 or something in the minors.

This is even double A. It's not AAA. But his coaches and stuff were like, you know, I think that this guy, could have made a team at the rate that he was improving. Like at first, they were all challenging him with fastballs and he got the knack for that, but he couldn't hit the curve,

and then he starts learning to hit the curve, and then the experiment ends. But I'm just going by what I saw. I'm not a good talent evaluator myself. He couldn't hit. He wasn't going to be a professional athlete. It's incredible that he transitioned and he hit 200.

Like not playing the game and going to it and batting 200 is impressive. Like, I mean, and it's funny that the difference between a scrub and an All-Star is going,

is succeeding in two-tenths of your, of your abats, or three-tenths of your at-bats. Like, that one extra tent is like, oh, well, we're keeping you around for the next eight years.

You'll play second base and make $12 million a year. You're solid. You hit $300 consistently? All right. 200 is just, get out of here. It's hard to hit a fucking baseball.

Have you ever tried to hit a fucking baseball? I mean, baseball. Yeah. I make it look really hard. Yeah. I used to get scolded for doing too much of an, like, an axe chopping angle. And they'd be like, no, you have to swing through.

Like, they would tell me, like, that Mel Gibson, let's swing away. Like, swing through instead of, like, chopping. But I only played baseball until I was maybe 10. No later than that. I could never hit a fucking curveball. I still don't know how you hit how you hit a fucking curveball. It's curving. I'm supposed to guess where it's going to be.

I have no idea. I have double vision. But like when I was a lifeguard socially, I was practically required to play so slow pitch softball with everybody else. And these are all very good athletes, these like Baywatch guys. And every one of them is hitting every ball. And I'm like, am I the only one around here that doesn't throw or catch? I thought we were all swimmers.

What the fuck is wrong with the Zipede patrol? And I just, yeah. But fortunately, it was one of those games where you have like 14 fielders and I'd stand next to somebody competent. Was it like anxiety inducing when you were next up? Yes. Like, oh no. Dude, I wasn't that popular to start with.

I didn't want to go out there and make our team lose on top of all the other troubles I had. Like, oh, man, guys, I don't know. looks like rain perfectly blue skies. Like just to look too. Yeah. Baseball was not fun. As a little kid, I hated it because it was that. Like you were the complete center of attention in front of all the parents and your classmates and both teams.

And if the, you know, dad on the other team who was pitching, because that's how young I was, that wasn't even the other, you know, kids pitching. Like if he was, you know, throwing heat and you struck out, there was that horrible walk back. where you're like I'm so shit I'm such an idiot I have to sit here now and I can feel

the eyes on the back of my head or I can almost I can feel the social intensity of next time I get up to go to the plate the dread of the people around me of like oh Taylor's going to fuck it up like two outside of baseball like I like that in baseball

we continuously reset restart and it's all the attention is on one guy or really on two guys you know the pitcher in the batter And then as soon as that ball is in the air, is he, is this guy going to make the play? Is he going to bobble it? You're constantly looking over to the guy seeing if he's going to fail or not. And then they just do it constantly at things that are really hard, like hitting balls.

I like that part of the game. I like when the game's a lot faster now, which is definitely better with the pitch clock and everything. But you used to just have that camera on the pitcher and he'd be up there all sweaty, doing his jaw and like stare. And we've been like just, he's been like mean mugging the big. batter for like two minutes now. Throw it. But it's a lot faster now.

And they've got the, they're challenging the pitches, the strikes and the balls. And that one umpire who's, I can't think of his name. He's a black guy. He's missed so many strikes and balls. And it's embarrassing.

John Boy loves this guy. Well, he loves to hate him. You guys know John Boy, the guy that does the word of reading. Yeah. The breakdowns. He's always breaking down. Like the pitches this guy misses.

And it seems like he's, he's genuinely bad at his job, not looking in the right place, oftentimes. Maybe you saw that one, right? He missed the guy. He said he didn't touch the base. He's like,

this guy never touched first base. Taylor, he really touched first base. He landed hard in the center of the base. He took a whole stride on the base. He didn't graze it. He just came up.

And then you look at the ref. the umpire i guess he's called and um i think the the ball missed the first baseman so the umpire is watching the ball go play and yet he still just made up that the rudder never touched the base and called him out and he's just really bad there's no overruling that there is that's the best part they like they like they're like no he's fucking safe and of course john boy's zooming in on his mouth he's like he didn't touch the bag and then they immediately show the replay not only of him touching the bag, but of the umpires like, like face, like,

like what he said, like following the ball. When the play is over here, yeah. The thing, he had no reason to be like he didn't touch the bag. Like, like he wasn't even looking at it. But that, it's better than that.

Because like, like, like how said, John Boy goes and he's like, you know, he didn't touch the bag. And then the other arm goes, oh,

well, then he's out. And then the other, he's like telling the team, you have 30 seconds to call, you know, for a review. And John Boy's like, because he's definitely not out. You know, like everybody knew this was a terrible call. Even the other ref seemed to know this was a terrible call,

but he was just following procedure. And then the coaches have this little moment where they both kind of like smile and look at each other and they're like, he's an idiot. We don't know it. Is it fire him or bump the... No. I don't... No, no. Not yet.

Getting a bad ref at a baseball is harder than getting a pedophile out of your local Catholic church. They're just going to move him to another team or another location or something. This isn't a new thing. Like, he's been known to be a bad ref for years. Like, you can go back and, of course, there are montages of it on YouTube of just, like, years of him ruining the fucking game. I love that they've got the challenges because he's,

These old fogies are getting proved. The pitcher has eyes like a fucking hawk. He's literally legless up there. He's getting paid $25 million a year to throw this thing right where he wants it. The batter is the same fucking deal, but on the opposite side of it. These guys have genetically superior vision. These guys are professional athletes that specialize in seeing things. And then we got this old guy behind the plate kind of out of the way where he can't see too good.

you're like, wrong. And now they get to challenge it and make him look like a buffoon. And after like four or five wrong, because like you get two challenges per game. But if you're correct, you don't lose anything. You can, you get two wrong challenges essentially. You can. So it's just over and over. Sometimes two or three in the same at bat where they're like, no, dude.

Then we need to take your fucking like little clicker away or something like that. Open your eyes. This is the third pitch you've gotten wrong. And this at bat. I think I'm right about this. I think, yeah, I think this is the first year they had challenges. And beyond that, along with the challenges, they improved the electronic tracking of it. So before, like, you know, John Boy would draw where he perceives the batting box to be.

I think that's the strike zone I'm looking for. And they'd be like, yeah, this is it. Now, like, it is dialed in. This is the strike zone. They're doing this with some sort of new tech. And, like, there's a right and wrong. answer and we can tell. And sometimes the umps are off by an amount that

you can forgive, you know, like millimeters. And sometimes it's like, what are you doing? Like, you know, you're so bad. You're muted, Kyle. He was missing them by like three and a half inches. Like they would be like three and a half inches outside the strike zone. He was like

strike and vice versa. The strike zone's the top of your knees to the letters on your jersey and then you know, the width of the plate. And then it's just three dimensional rectangular. angular tunnel that the ball has to just clip as it goes past you. So you can forgive somebody for getting one or two wrong every now and then, especially when they're close, but they're showing that these guys are bad at their jobs,

that somebody from the crowd could probably do just as well. I like when the coaches get mad and they do that thing where they get up there and like yell with their hands behind their back and they kick dirt in a very, and like really not an aggressive enough way over the plate for how mad they are. It's a very gentlemanly way to get furious. I like it when they kick dirt on the plate to make the ref clean it. Yeah, petty. Jokes on you.

I just got a new brush. I've been waiting to bust it out. Have you ever seen the clip of, I think it's the Mississippi Braves? I know it's the Braves. The coach gets so pissed off. He goes out and he steals second base. I don't mean, he gets to it before he can be thrown out. I mean, he pulls it out of the fucking ground.

And he's like hucking it across the field. Like the bottom of the base has this square peg That goes down into a hole that's in the ground made for it And he's just pulling the bases up And throwing them in the field And causing kicking dirt and talking shit It's great Do they have that system in like

I don't know every high school Yeah my little league field had the same thing Yeah the base stuff down in there Yeah What do they do? Kick him out of the game Or was it like an airbud Rules thing? I think he was already kicked out

Yeah he was like protesting on his way out He had been tossed Oh, okay It should be more punches thrown in those baseball brawls. Big fight the other day with Angels and Braves. Any punches thrown or was it a lot of why I was. Oh, I think I saw that. A lot of punches thrown and people getting socked in the face.

Yeah, they were actually punching. Yeah, okay. I was going to say usually I would say baseball and basketball fights are disappointing. And even hockey can be. Sometimes hockey lives up to the hype. But, Taylor, you know, oftentimes it's just a bunch of misses. punches in the helmet until somebody tips over. Yeah. And sometimes the guy who's clearly going to get his ass beat goes down to the ice

a little too easily. And it's like you're a professional skater. I think you kind of just let him pull you down there praying. Like, refs, it's over. Come on. Yeah. Fucking Ty Domi wants to line me up. I'd be like, guys, it was slippery out here. I went down immediately. I counted on his gentlemanly instinct not to hit a down opponent. I don't want to remove the fighting from hockey. But I do think. it's like counterproductive to a major sport that every now and then we stop and beat each other up. It just is. I'm here for it. I like combat sports. I like seeing people fight. Like Woody says, I'll watch kids fight in a parking lot. But the highest level of hockey wouldn't require one of my teammates to beat up one of yours.

Right. But it does. Because otherwise you're going to, if the only physical justice is like, skating as fast as you can and running their star player over and over and over, you're going to get way more injuries. That's hard. That should be targeting and you should get such a penalty that the game is now in leaning the other way. So what if my thing is to accidentally high stick you in the teeth, right? Act, you know, just careless, right?

Like, I didn't do it on purpose. I'm a professional athlete. You can't expect me to control my stick all the time, right? I would. What would happen? People would just, you know, get little shots, little paybacks here and there. But when they know that there's literally a guy who punches him in the face, if you do that, it keeps them in line. The NFL doesn't need that.

And you've got guys trying to roll quarterback's knees up in the pile and stepping on people's hands. They get dealt with physically a little bit. But then they get scary suspensions and stuff and it ruins their career. It's like, you don't think we have another running back and come in here? or linebacker, whatever the fuck it might be, you can be replaced. That's a good point, Taylor. Like, the NFL seems to keep people mostly in line. You know, like, I would say in the NFL, the biggest, hardest, scariest hitters do it pretty legally.

Like within the rules. I don't watch the NFL, so I don't know. But I hear what you're saying with it. It's number one, it's just a big part of hockey history and culture. and when you can get going like 25 miles an hour and you're playing on an incredibly hard surface with no give, like you can ruin someone's career if they hit your star guy. This happened with the Maple Leafs and the Florida Panthers recently

where the captain of the Florida Panthers had a really dirty, cheap hit on the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, took them out for the season. And the next time they played it, and it was a huge news story because everyone in media was like, look at these Toronto Maple Leaf Pussies. Not one person stepped up and went after this guy, this giant Eastern European guy that you wouldn't want to fight. But that was the critique.

It's like no one stood up for him. And then next time Florida and Toronto played the captain of the Florida Panthers, who isn't their star player, he's just like a leadership defenseman. It was known like Toronto is going to run every star player on the Florida Panthers this game with intent to injure if this captain doesn't stand. step up and eat his supper. And so what happened is as soon as the game started, the captain of the Florida Panthers dropped his gloves,

and the fighter from the Toronto Mayfalee came out, and they got in a brawl. And like the Florida Panthers guy could, it was a fight. He could have won. Oh, you think? Oh, 100%. He's a, he's a strong dude. Okay.

He chose, he purposefully lost the fight, eight like eight punches to the mouth in the face, like just standing there at Center Ice, taking it on purpose because he knew like if he god forbid wins this fight and doesn't eat his supper for what he did to their captain a couple weeks prior this game would have got out of control and so by getting the shit beat out of him he protected the rest of his players by like no so then the Toronto Maple Leafs can be like when did they play hockey with the fuck story that's a good story I like every bit of that I mean now you said it was a dirty hit in the first place

yeah it was uncalled for yeah and is there any chance he didn't mean to hurt him or you think was pretty clear. I don't think he meant to take him out for the season, but it was like an intent to injure style hit. Like it was, you can tell the difference if you watch hockey, which you could between a hit that's meant to separate the body from the puck and one that's egregious,

like trying to fall on their legs, trying to twist them. Yeah. So it was over the line. Did you guys see when Bignana get hurt? I saw a still of him falling and it was just his face on the ground. And I was like, that doesn't seem like a big deal.

But then I'm like, that guy's like eight feet tall. call. Like, that's a long fall. He's 7.6. And it happened to him, it happened to him before. I want to say twice that game. What happened? The defenseman is not to blame. But when you have a guy bigger than you, like trying to sort of back towards the basket, you know, they go backwards and they like push you with their own shoulder blades trying to get closer. Well, defensively, there's not a lot you can do because like if you reach or whatever, he's trying to bait you into fouling him. So, what the defenseman did is called pulling the chair.

And basically, like, I'm trying to bump you with my shoulder blades. And the defenseman stepped back and let him. And he fell off balance and ended up hitting his face on the floor. And the defenseman, there's two of them in the area. They're both doing like one of these. Like, I didn't do that. I didn't touch him. He was depending on me to hold him up.

I pulled out the chair and he fell on his own. And I think he's going to miss another. I think he lost that game and he's going to miss another one. So without Winbignon, of the spurs aren't the same he's a very good player not malicious though the guy wasn't like no no no yeah this was just let him do it to himself it was a it was a good play and like they teach you in high school to you know pull the chair when a guy's doing that to you so it's just fair play when you said you were a lebron fan or reminded me of a dude that i knew in county jail that had the miami heat logo

tattooed on his forearm right here it said miami heat lebron james and i was gone for a while before he transferred teams. And I just remember being like, that's why you don't get tattoos like that for people that are like still alive. You know, like they could go off the deep end on some political or some religious shit. Like don't get tattoos commemorating people that are still alive and they got time to like ruin or change their legacy. Oh yeah.

You're telling me my giant Kanye backpiece. They're two players right now who have become best friends. One guy is VJ Edgecombe and the other is Tyrese Maxie. And they like took out a copy. copyright together, VJ Max, where they're like doing merch and stuff. And if you saw them, they're, they're the nicest, relentlessly positive, like, coolest guys in the NBA. They're like one of them grew up like super broke. He's from the Bahamas.

And like he didn't have electricity. They used a generator for like dinner and stuff. And now he's an NBA star. He's probably the third best rookie this year. We love him. But I'm like, uh, VJ Max. you're doing like business deals together. I mean,

I hope you're on the same team three years from now, but it's pro sports. Yeah, if you're going to get a sports tattoo, just to get the logo, don't commit to a player. And even then, like,

you know, you can't get a St. Louis Rams tattoo in 2015. You know, when they're banding about going to L.A., you have to know they're in there for the long haul. Uh-huh. Which I don't think I'd ever get a sports tattoo anyway.

like that I've seen people with the blues Stanley Cup on and it's like you know great memories there but I don't think you know we can always like watch the reciprocate right if say the hurricane's got a Woody's gamer tag tattoo I'd hit it back but that's what it would take yeah yeah yeah if someone on the blues had a had a PCA thing on his form I'd be like all right all right I'll get one too it's going on a Even then I know myself, I'd be like, nah. No, that was kind of scary. I don't want to sit there for a long time. How much is this fucking cost?

No, no. You know, maybe Hannah. No, I don't know. I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have any. Yeah. Josh, do you have any tattoos? Yeah, remember I showed you the Albert Einstein on my leg and Taylor liked to have died.

I was very embarrassed. That was a grand already. I don't remember at all. Please show me that Albert Einstein on your thigh. Oh, man, we do an Einstein again. Oh, gosh. Oh, good job. Is this going to be high enough here?

Let me see. It was a pick and poke with a staple, damn it. That's not a pintle. Oh, no. Oh, no. You got to chime in for this one. That was rough. A cross between Rick from Rick and Morty and Medusa.

Dude, I love it. I love it. And it's a pick and stick and poke with a staple. So this is a prison tattoo. Yeah. Pretty much all my honor, except for this one that I got on my arm a couple years ago. But yeah,

I got them all over my back. I got innocent on my rib cage when I got there. Oh. That's a cute out. Wait. That's like the jackass or the band thing, right? the heartogram. Oh no, it's just a crossed out heart.

It was just, yeah, yeah. Where I got never forget on my pelvis right here, I was going to get in all capitals fuck love because I was edgy. And I had a tellmate talk me out of that. He was like, don't get fuck love blasted on your pelvis, dude. Get something else and get like crossed out hard. Here, I got a guy actually who has a tenuous grasp of what Albert Einstein looked like. Let's get you done with it.

Yeah, I don't even know if tenuous is the word. He's just guessing. He's like a guy with big hair. There you go. He smooths on me into it. He's like, I can do portraits. Don King for some reason. It did.

That's like what Albert Einstein looks like in an adult swim cartoon that comes on at 215. Yeah. It's time for bad. Some acid trip nightmare version. I like you. All blacked out. So like acid.

Tattoes are kind of a, you know, a little journal of life story. And I think yours is taking some way. Uncommon turns. That's the way of looking at it. Yeah. And is there. I bet you weren't the only one with an innocent tattoo. I bet that's a, that's a popular one.

Yeah, the main ones that you see, people have some variant of innocent or I didn't do it or something. My cousin has the opposite. My cousin has outlaw and big gothic letters across his lower belly. I remember when he got it, I was like, what the fuck is your problem? First of all, you're not an outlaw. Well, he was Mr. Albert Einstein?

it's so bad all of his tattoos are so bad yeah yeah he's got outlaw across his belly and then up on his belt like when he was like 18 he got this big like confederate flag on his dealt with like an eagle tearing it apart and I was like I can't tell if you're pro confederacy

or anti confederacy just look cool Kyle what don't you get it's an American ball eagle like ripping the flag and I'm like I have to know like it's confusing based on what you know holistically who is a better set of tattoos scott or jeremy oh scots are way better i gave jeremy one of his i know a little momento of life's journey the fps russia one yeah yeah he got a

from fps russia in an fpsia russia video like it might not be cool to you but to some people no one else has that no one else has that yeah i've told a story before but basically I put Jeremy in a video testing less lethal like stuff like pepper spray, rubber bullet and a taser. I shot him all this shit. And at the end of it, I was like, I was like, dude, can I give you a tattoo as part of this video? And he's like, you won't pay you for? I'm like, fuck yeah. I knew right then I had him.

So like I paid for the tattoo and the guy did the outline of this awful tattoo. And then I was like, can I shade it in? I was like, can I color it in? I was like, I can't mess that up. And I was like, he's like, dude, this is a $4,500 tattoo gun. I'm licensed. I'm insured. And I'm like, this is what I do on the internet.

I showed him like blowing up a truck. And he was like, so you want to hold it like this? He gave me the tattoo gun. And sure enough, he let me color his fucking tattoo. And it was really fun. Oh, you're his power of attorney? Okay. I am.

How can he get the depth right? Like, that's a big part of tattooing well, going deep enough that it works. not so deep that you don't damage. I'm out of my league. It was really easy. It's a bunch of needles, like when you're filling it in. It's not just one.

And like I was very careful because I know this is forever. And, you know, it was really easy. You could see as you were, the more pressure you applied, you could tell like there was a sweet spot to get into. And I just went slow and did my little circles or whatever,

like he told me to, like I was welding. It was easy. Yeah. You know, I didn't go outside. I didn't color outside the lines. I wouldn't go near.

the lines. I do the part he can't foul up and let the pro like coming up with the edges. It's a whole tattoo to begin with dude. It was, you know, it was hard to to mess this. I was, I didn't proofread it.

It says don't be a bit. Don't be a bitch because I, that was like a catchphrase I had. Like, don't be beach. And, but he spelled bitch like I say it. Beach. Like two, well, with two E's, I think.

And then like, and I didn't. And I didn't. I didn't notice that until it was tattooed on impermanently. It's like two AK-47s crossed or something. I don't even, and maybe, I don't remember exactly what it is anymore. But, but it's, it's there for life. Yes. It's there for life.

I mean, I saw him a couple years ago. And, like, he was working. He took his shirt off and he was, like, putting another shirt on. I was like, I forgot. I got it's on you forever. It didn't go anywhere. I like the the never forget one you have like I would just always be thinking about 9-11 that's giving you head is like that was a sad day like every time I dip down I got to remember 9-11

and people we lost that day you know it was Israel white another chat came for that yeah Zach said, oh, the, the piercing in your penis. Is that going back in? Is the pearl going to make another appearance for? Yeah, I mean, it's still there. Although, I mean, like, I don't know, man. If I wanted to get it removed, I don't even know what the hell I would do, like a tattoo parlor. Be like, do you guys have scalples?

Like, even if I want a day going out. Do you have like a buck shot in your dick or like a piercing? What I don't? It's shaped like a pearl. It's a subdermal implant that went under the skin of my shaft. So it's like if this is the shaft, the heart is like three quarters down it, sort of, you know. It's a heart. Yeah, it's a domino whittled into the shape of a heart.

And I got that thing put in while I was in there. Wait, it started as a domino? Yeah, it was originally a domino. They break it in half and then shave it down, sandpaper it into a shape. Like my buddy got a bone and another friend of mine got a four-leaf clover. I went with the heart. The bone was pretty clever. I was like, oh, I get it.

I see what you're going for there. Yeah. And some dude just got like, like, ballroom. They'll just get like half spheres, like running down the side. Like rip firm pleasure. On the internet, to be clear. Every time I'd be. I wouldn't want that.

What keeps it in place? Like, I'm afraid that my heart would like roll around to the bottom or something. Dallas tissue. When you first get it, it does. I'd go to take a leak in the morning and the heart would be facing me instead. I'd have to grab it, flip it around until it was back in the right spot. But apparently, it's making me a little queasy. Did it hurt?

You made me queasy too. If I had any idea how bad it was going to hurt Woody, then I would not have been able to go through with it to begin with. If I had any clue. It was the most painful shit I've ever experienced. You're like, oh, man, I'd be worried about infections, but I did see Big Jeff hold a lighter under it for a second. He had powder and bleach.

He dissolved powdered bleach and water. He ran flame over it. He did everything. I did not get an infection, surprisingly, now that I know more about it. He's popping chlorine tablets to purify this fucking thing before he slides it into your talk. I'm glad Zach brought that up. I forgot about your penis pearl.

Oh, man. And the fact that your instinct was like, how do I get this removed? Go to a tattoo parlor? Like a doctor. Go to a doctor's probably going to be the way. I just figured they're going to charge me like 20 grand for it. And a cellmate of mine told me they're really easy to remove.

He said you just got to grip it so that it's tight against the skin and then hit it with a razor blade, a little shootout. Ooh. Sorry, guys. Sorry about that. No, you're good. I'm just as an office appointment. Yeah.

I go, I check it. I was a life. guard. So they're like, yeah, this mole looks suspicious. This mole looks suspicious. What did you do to yourself? And I'm like, all right, pick your favorite three. That's as far as I go. We'll see you next year. Do it in sessions. Oh, Christ. If that's, if you have to squeeze it out and it pops and maybe just keep it. Is it obvious enough that every girl is going to be like, like, it's like clacking on her teeth? Um, so I haven't noticed teeth.

I've been asked about that before, like, did my teeth. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, you're good. Don't worry about it. But it's definitely super obvious. Like, I mean, you can feel it like, if one were to hypothetically be groping outside of the pants, they'd be like, whoa, what the fuck is that? Oh, that obvious.

Yeah. I mean, it's about a half inch, three quarters inch thick. But I just see it. It's location. I picture it, like, if you're hanging down, it points forward. If you're standing full mass, it's pointing towards your belly button kind of like. Yeah, so the heart is actually aligned to be at the viewer. like the top of the heart is towards me.

So it's like that. So it's nice and inviting, you know, like it's, it's very warm. It's like, come on in and get some of this love. But it's slightly shifted. I originally had it like dead center. But over time it has moved up about a half inch closer to like the actual head now. So like, I don't know if it's keep moving. That's not very static.

It seems like it's got a lot of float room. It seems like it. It doesn't get turned upside down anymore. But it does kind of like, I'll be looking at it one day and be like, No, you definitely moved up like three quarters of an inch. It's kind of weird. Like if a tattoo floated half an inch, you would notice. Yeah, big time.

So now I was kind of front-loaded. I'd get a lot of tattoos before I got a cock pearl. I'm going to tell you right now. Like, if I have to, if it's like some sort of impractical Joker's punishment, wheel of pain, I'm getting all tatted. I'm putting a Jaden Smith on each thigh or something like that before they put a domino in my day. Oh, yeah. I actually got that done before I had any tattoos.

I went straight to body modification. I had no tattoos when I got it. So I had no semblance of like what it's even like to even have tattoo pain, let alone what that was. And then whenever he smacked the holes in it, I wasn't looking because I was trying not to pass out. And then they made me sit down because I was sweating bullets. I was about to pass out.

People pass out doing it all the time. And I sat down in the chair like he made me. I looked up and realized the pearl was still sitting there. And I begged him in earnest to please put that damn thing in my dick. Like, bro, please, please. we've come too far I've got the holes I need you to nut up and get that thing in there

too far I was committed the thing was you hadn't you hadn't come to I really hadn't I could have just taken the scar left the pearl out it would have been fine

but no I'm very uncomfortable The dick thing Are you also looking at his dick? No I refuse to click that I'm gonna look at his dick Oh yeah I definitely didn't watch that video And then rewind the best part

A couple of times already well i can i can show it without like exposing anything no we can't do that on youtube no i don't believe you it looks like uh it looks like it looks like one of those horrible valentine's day chalk candies that's what i was imagining yes yeah good point that's exactly what i'm imagining that's about that's about the right size and shape of it yeah you're right fuck man maybe i got sam there was a was there an alarming amount of blood because the penis is one of those parts that bleeds a lot believe it or not there was almost none like he pulled up the outer layer of skin punched two holes through it sorry Kyle my bad and and went to it I didn't have any blood draining the only time that ever had blood was when I was changing the wrap around it you know because you take a like five six squares of toilet paper you fold them in half and wrap that around and then you make a rope out of another piece of toilet paper and tie that around it and that's how you kind of keep it

clean during the day and then at night you got to get the paper wet soap it and all that but there was very little blood I did wake up the next day with like like the typical morning functions going on and it made me sob. Like I was sitting on my rack like, oh my God. Oh, God, what do I do? Oh, I've never been so not aroused. This is ridiculous. Where's Big Mike at? I need help. I need a little massage over here.

Come on, Big Mike. God, damn, that upsets me so much. I would, have you ever had like a splinter that went in really deep and like you didn't get it out? Like, over time, it like came to the surface and pushed itself out. Yeah. Yeah. Rejected it out of your body?

shot a target one time with this frangible ammunition really close and it it like spattered into my thighs and like went all into my thighs and it took years for all that shit to come out there's um i don't know how i did it but i've got a piece of metal stuck in my thumb too i think it was also shrapnel and whenever i'm near a magnet i can feel it like i can really it like tickles and and like itches a little when you like run a magnet around my thumb i can feel it in there it's I wonder what an MRI would do. I've worried about that before. Like, I don't know.

Because, like, in Final Destination, it'll, like, bend you backwards and fold you up like origami and suck you in if you're wearing the wrong belt. But in real life, I've also heard of, like, issues. Like, there's that, there's that scan of the, I don't know if it was a man or woman, but they had a metal butt plug in when they went to MRI. Oh, yeah. What were they thinking? what were they thinking was that suicide that's the coolest suicide ever if that's

that was their intent by doc it like pulled the metal butt plug like up to their sternum like through their body or something like that oh my gosh yeah it must have he didn't die which like isn't it's almost not merciful I bet he's shit in a bag though

yeah probably got a colosomy bag or whatever it's called that's the word I off myself I get a colostomy bag I'm letting you know right now if you offer yourself you want a colostomy bag No, the opposite. If I get a colostomy bag, I want you to off me. What if you just needed a colostomy bag for three months? And then on the other side of that, you can fix you.

I can see my way out of that, although that would be a rough three months. That poopy, stinky bag everywhere. Like, oh, God, damn. Prison was the first time I ever saw one of those. Some dude that I was locked up with had gotten shot in a bank robbery, and he had one. And he had that shit for like two years and then randomly came back from a doctor visit one day and, like, didn't have it anymore. I was like, oh, man, somebody's just waiting to break. in that brand new butthole.

That's going to go for top dollar. That's the advantage. That's worth two packs. Yeah, your hot hole would never have pooped if you had a kioschomy. That is an advantage. That's true. Oh, it'd make you much more fuckable.

Yeah, way more. Well, I heard m.a.com said that I don't know if this is like that person specifically or this is what they typically do, but somebody said that they stitch your butthole shut whenever you have one of those. So that like there's no runoff or leakage or anything, they just fully redirected into the bag.

That was atma.com, though. I've never taken the time to like look up whether or not that's really a thing. I'll ask chat. They'd have to go like up in there and sew something. Like it wouldn't make sense to just sew your butthole shut. Yeah. Because then like what if a bunch of stuff's just knocking at the door for 10 years? That doesn't, that just doesn't. They do. Oh my God.

You do? Yeah, if the rectum is removed, which happens in a permanent colostomy or an abdominal perennial resection, the anus is usually closed with stitches. If the colostomy is temporary, the rectum is often left intact, leaving the anus open, but non-functional. Non-functional for what purposes. Be more specific. Yeah, it's very functional in prison, shit.

Oh, and then they've got some, like, gross, like, facts. Like, apparently there's mucus discharge, even if it's not stitched closed. It's common to experience mucus discharge as the remaining rectum still produces it. my rectum makes mucus I had no idea I guess it's the poop lubricant To get it through you I don't know

I guess it's just so drowned out By the shit You just don't Yeah I know it It mostly makes that Yeah That's like a side hustle The mucus

Josh is there a lot of Like rape in prison Nah I can't say That any of the places That I went to There was no case Where I ever heard of

An actual rape going down What about Gay for the State? What about what? Gay for the State Oh that's that's plenty It seems like the upper human limit of when you turn gay for the stay seems to be right about 25 years. I can say that in my six years, I was never once tempted to, uh, you know, I'm a straight guy.

I don't care if other people do what they do, but I'm straight. Six years, one is enough to make me even think like that. But 25 seems to be like, okay, I'm about to start fucking with the dudes now, very consistently. So I can't judge. I didn't do 25 years. But, um, there was plenty of gay for the stay, plenty of that. And if you even seen talking to the gay dudes too terribly often, they'll just assume that you're one of them and start you know it's unfortunately basically better left avoided but no not anywhere that

i went did one case happen where i legitimately thought that there was a time where a dude got caught having consensual sex and then tried to make it out like they had pressured or coerced or something but no nowhere that i was at and we everywhere that i stayed we also had solo showers so like the first question i usually get is did you drop the soap i'm like we had solo showers i could have punted the fucking soap into the floor if i wanted to and not been in any danger how soles was it like a curtain or a door? Yeah, it's a curtain. I mean, you're not like, you know, with this big cavern you can go off in,

people can still see your neck and head from the curtain there, you know, but it's still just one man showers. There was no group showers anywhere that I went. So soap was never an issue. I could have dropped it, thrown it, whatever the fuck, not used it. Nobody would have known. Now, it's not like you had one in your cell either. It was like four of them out on the cell block.

So you'd be waiting a line most of the time. But I'm still solo. Still grateful for it. Yeah. Our showers are great. There was so much water pressure, so much volume. It's tremendous. Yeah, these sound like better showers than what I had in high school gym.

Oh, way better. Yeah. I guess water pressure on them in there. The handicapped shower had a lot of heads. Oh, yeah. Those are fancy showers. The ones that kind of are at like nipple length in addition to the ones on the top. Yeah, there was like a body one and then there was a wand as well.

And then the big like head in the top. But like having the wand was nice. I like I like to, I like the wand. Yeah. But ours were private too. Before we entirely move past it, you got to get rid of that, Dick Hart, man. If I did, I would put it on a necklace, I think.

I'd try to drill a little hole in it and put in a necklace and wear it. That's good thinking, yes. It would be very interesting. It would be a great conversation piece. You see this little heart? This was in my penis for 10 years. That's a decision you and your girl make together, right? For all I know, that thing's bumping on the clit every stroke,

and you're the best there is. well it doesn't I'm just going to say that I'm not getting complaints about it I can say that much it doesn't do any pain it doesn't do any harm that's for sure I would just hate to feel it being pushed like because you said it's got play and so like as you're fucking it's like shifting in your skin I don't notice it to be fair you'd think that I would you'd think that it'd be grinding up against the hard part or something like that but no I don't ever notice honestly I never have dude after this you got your you know fucking rocky horror Einstein tattoo you didn't lose a second asleep that night you're like whatever just no man yolo fuck it getting Einstein stapled on my leg getting a

pearl my cellmate's the one to hype me up into that pearl because he got that damn bone on the side of it and he was just bro I'm telling you it's like tribal man it's like it's like a bond you know and so whatever I got it done there were like 10 fucking people standing in my cell everybody watching and laughing and fucking and then he turns around and Gubble, gobble, gobble. It turns around, disinfects the thing again, and then use the same shank that he had stabbed me with to give a pearl to another guy. God, damn. And I was like, why did you do that with me?

Why did I have to collapse in a chair and have this whole, like, bro, please, for the love of God, put that thing in my penis? Holy fuck. Could have been a little more efficient. Every now and then you say something else and I'm like, my brain makes it real. I just feel like my dick tingles in a bad way. Active imagination. Don't worry, never, never. You're number one.

Or you can double down, get the whole, get the whole Lucky Charms lineup down there. Yeah. Put a little cereal in your mouth tonight, baby. Come on over. Carb in this unicorn for two weeks, it's going in. They're always after my lucky charms. Has that ever been weird in like airport security?

Has anyone ever noticed at a time they shouldn't have? No, I was actually looking for it. We went to Disney a couple years ago and I was trying to see the full body scan to see if the pearl showed up. But if it did, I didn't see it. You think it does? I didn't get a good look for sure. Have you ever seen like, like they scanned me on intake and I looked at the scan and I was like,

oh my God, that's where my poop is, huh? Like it's and there's my dick. You can see everything in that 3D intake scan they do. It's way better. I think it's similar to the airport thing, but it was a big machine they put me in and like as we're going in. I was thankful because the alternative, I'm sure in the old days, is a cavity search. Yeah, probably.

But now we have technology. Yeah, you just stand in a thing and get scanned real quick and they're like, oh, you're good. I never thought about that. If I'm like feeling constipated next time I'm going through airport security, I'm going to be thinking about that. Like, this guy can tell I have to poop. I went through airport security, right? And they have you put your hands up like this.

And I'm like, it's cold. You got to understand. He was not interested in the comedy stylings of Woody. He was like, sir, I've seen 20,000 dicks today. Can we please move along? He didn't think it was funny at all. Sir, I'm going to touch you with the back of my hand. Is that okay?

And it's like, yes. Just do it. Have you guys ever? You said it was okay. It almost like, because I know you, everybody's gone through that where they like something shows up on your crotch and they do the back of the hands thing on you. And they always ask you in the tone of voice of like,

well, I have to do this. But if you want, if you're a fucking pussy about it, we can go do this in a private room to the side. And there's always the insinuation of like, just do it. Just let me do it. Don't make me take you to the side. And you're at an airport.

And so it's like, you know, I got to go. I don't have time for this. You know, just I guess rub your knuckles on my genitals. And then you can tell I'm not a terrorist. You guys have all done that,

right? I've gone through security so scary high before that I was like, man, I hope it'll pull me out of line. This would be hard to, because I'm like having a hard time keeping my shit straight. Like I, whenever I would do like a smokation in Colorado or Seattle or something like that, they'd always be all these leftover drugs. And everybody, you know, we'd have like three or four people fly in and they can't take their drugs with them.

So they leave them on the coffee table. And so I'm the last man out because I rented the place or whatever. And it's like, oh, God, that's a lot of edibles. Well, can't let them go to waste. So I drive to the airport and like in the like park and ride parking lot, I'm just like eating all the drugs. I just eat all the drugs and then I walk into the airport and I'm like,

I hope these don't kick in before. Oh, oh shit. Kicking in after 15 minutes. I'm going to do. It's so fun. If there was some like quintuple dose that you offered me for free

or otherwise it would take go to waste, I'd be like, no. I don't want this at all. This is worse than nothing. This is before you could get them everywhere. and with all the Delta 8th stuff and like that. So edibles were this rare treat that I got maybe four or five times a year if I'm lucky.

And so here I am with all these free drugs. They're right there. And just throwing them away, throwing weed away felt so wrong to me. I couldn't do it, man. Like, I've never sold weed in my life. Like, you don't have enough money to buy my weed. It's the most precious thing I own right now. Like, no, you can't buy my weed.

I value it more than money. Like, it's weed. I can't get more. Yeah. Yeah. I remember like going through security when it was illegal everywhere and I had like smoked before I went through and I'd be walking because you know sometimes they have that little gap in security where there's just a dude walking a dog back and forth. I haven't seen that in a long time. But the this they used to at least. I haven't seen it in a while. And I would just get so in my own head from like the 20 minutes waiting for that period where I'm like I don't even have any weed, but it can. smell my breath. It can smell my breath. And so I'm like walking past a dog like high as a kite being like, I've had that exact thing. Yeah, I've been there reeking of it. And I had also like tucked a few joints into the lining of my, of my checked bag. So I really didn't want to get pulled out

along. I would like, I would unzip the lining of the checked bag and like get back to the hard plastic and then like wedge like joints back between that hard plastic and like part of the terrible idea. I'm not recommending it here. This is an advice to anyone. I'm just letting you know. But again, I had all this throwing it away seemed wrong. Like a crime against humanity.

I couldn't be. I couldn't do it. I couldn't just throw it away. In the world of weed joints smell. They were expensive too. They were like those silver salute joints, the ones where they've done like eight different things to them to make them like super duper. It's like already, it's like a couple grams of weed and then it's a cone and then they dip the cone and some sort of liquid THC and they dust it with

Keefe. And then on the end and then they like do this drizzle of wax that they like wrap around it in a coil all the way up the bat. That's too heavenly. And then the tip of it is, has like hash like tapped down into the tip. And it's like, oh my God, this was a $28 dollar joint. I'm not throwing this away. Hell yeah. Smuggle it a little bit. That's like when they make a delicious looking burger and then some dickhead pours like nacho cheese on it

ruins the whole thing. Yeah, it's too much. Yeah. Because those little, those like fancy pants little coils just ruins the way that it burns. I'm flabbergasted that you smuggled marijuana via flight back home. I feel like Josh makes better life decisions.

Also, TSA. I would have done the same thing. TSA throws it away. What are we doing? They're going to be so distracted by my penis charm. They won't even notice my... You don't understand. These are worth $28. Yeah.

And I can't... But I can't... When I get back. It's worth $20,000. There's more to life than finding the perfect car. But finding the perfect car can help you get the most out of life. Like the SUV.

that handles everything from drop off to off road, and the car that hulls groceries and hockey teams, or the van that's gone from just practical to practically family. Whatever you want, wherever you're going, start your search at autotrater.ca, Canada's car marketplace. I'm on the same page as Woody. The ROI for this is terrible. That's the scenario.

You have an evening of getting high. Worst cases you have, you know, jail. I think TSA's pretty chill about weed, especially like if Colorado finds it, if they find it before I leave airport, they're just going to throw it away. And if Atlanta finds it often, they throw it away too. Like, it didn't seem like that big of a legal risk, but I'm certainly not an expert about that. You made it through with those, right? I thought that other thing I was doing wasn't a big risk.

I thought it was like a slap on the wrist if I got caught. Did you make it through it? those joints. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Just to be clear, that was before the mail thing. Before we got locked up. Oh, yeah. Oh, of course. And then I did it. And then one time I bought like, I had a bunch of edibles that looked like thin mints. And so I was like, man, those look just like thin mits. So I bought some thin mints. And then I opened the thin mint package and I swapped them out and I used super glue to like seal it all up. And then I put it in there with like eight different kinds of movie theater style can. And then I put it in there with like eight different kinds of movie theater style

candy, some woppers and some snow caps and some juju-bis or whatever and smuggled that as well one time. I got somebody else to carry that for me. It's always best to be somebody. We call that a mule, Taylor, in the game. Sometimes you self-mule it. You self-mule it. Signed a thing about pot recently.

Everyone misunderstands it, but it's... I did. They pull our legs with that weed stuff every four years, and it never... This is another one. Yeah. So what he did is he, it's not legal federally, but there's some sort of reclassification for pot at the state level, which sounds good, but it's not because it only applies to pot products that have been FDA approved and prescribed medically. And it's like, oh, so that's like not the thing, you know? Yeah, right. I don't even know where I'd go to get a medically prescribed hot, like, product right now.

It's everyone's on Delta A. That it's like a, you know, quack doctor you go to who's just like, are you having trouble sleeping? Here you go. Because I know the dispensaries here, like they do give you better deals. Like the exact same thing is cheaper if you have a medical card compared to recreation. And so how expensive it is. Maybe it is worth it. This is interesting.

So I didn't know if North Carolina had dispensaries like medical, but they do exclusively on tribal land. So if you go to the Great Smoky Cannabis Company that's operated by the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians, they're making out like bandits, by the way. They also won Harris Cherokee Casino. Good for them. Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

I wonder if they ship it. Definitely not. I wouldn't think so. It's illegal to take the cannabis products purchased at the dispensary into the surrounding North Carolina counties as it remains illegal in the state. Oh, well then. It's illegal in your state. All of it is.

Yeah. And I think North Carolina, who passed? No, the federal government passed something that made it like extra illegal and it hasn't kicked in yet. Like Delta 8's going away? Delta 8's going away nationwide. Is that for real happening? Because this is like the third false start we've heard with like the Delta 8th. 8's the THCPs, THC.

It's completely gone in my city. None anywhere. You're in North Carolina too, right? No, I'm in Mississippi. Mississippi. We have medical here, by the way. I can't fucking believe it. I never thought I'd see that in my lifetime.

We have medical, but they crack down on Delta 8, probably so people can get that medical marijuana weed money if I had to guess. All three of the states you guys live in, the hard and fast, like red on the map, fully illegal? we have medical marijuana that's for like the most extreme cases like those kids who have seizures need that that takes some sort of weird oil and then I think only recently have they made it so that even those kids and it can even acquire it because they like they made like marijuana oil legal for those people but then there wasn't a mechanism for them to obtain it legally like there was a sensory system in a pipeline set up and getting that going was greatly delayed I think But basically the answer is no. There's no medical marijuana here, nothing of the sort.

The closest thing is Florida. They have medical. Right. We've got full medical here in Mississippi for like wide range of issues, like anxiety and stuff that, you know, it might not even necessarily help every person for. So it's pretty easy to get medically. The card is like 200 bucks.

And then we have dispensaries. And if I'm not mistaken, like 20 grams and less is now decriminalized. Like you get a ticket for it, I think. That's good. That's how Atlanta is. Like Atlanta proper, the city, I think it's decriminalized there and it's a ticket. Like if Atlanta Police Department catches you,

I think it's a ticket or they'll even just like throw your shit away if it's a little bit. But the problem is like what if like, I don't know, a sheriff's deputy or a state patrol agent or somebody like that catches you, then you're in that whole rigmarole again. Yeah. And even legalizing it isn't always the best thing

because you can get hoodwinked like Illinois did where Illinois fully legalized it, but it came along with, a retarded amount of fees, everything. And so the illegal weed market in Illinois is still booming because they charge, like there are neighbors in Missouri, but they like it's the same amount here is quite literally double, if not more there.

It's really like they rake you over the coals in Illinois. It's crazy. And it's so saturated here that even when I buy like street weed, which is very rare, I'm getting packets that came from a dispensary one way or another, you know, like I don't get Ziploc baggies anymore in this day and age. I get vacuumed.

sealed 3.5G purple cush or whatever, you know, and it comes already sealed and legit and weighed up and everything. It's so much better than it was buying weed in college where that guy I used to buy from at one point who like insisted he be called Cush. I've mentioned him before. It was like, come on, man. And he would like, he would, he would take that cellophane around cigarette packs, put like an eighth or a half eighth in there and then melt it together with a lighter. So now you get that good plasticy smell on your weed. And like to him, he thought he was fucking Henry Ford every time he had hand one of these

to you and I'd always want to be like Heisenberg J or Cush can you just use a regular sandwich bag please this is absurd same thing same thing my guy would but my guy was just too broke like he was always so

broke and he'd be melting those bags together for me and I could smell that smell it's the weed mixed with the melted plastic smell yeah I was that guy that had like the worst life ever where like his wife cheated on him while he was long-haul truck driving and he had been maimed in two different like workman's accidents oh one of them one of them like he was like driving rebar with a hammer and a chunk of metal

came off the hammer and went into his chest so deeply the hospital thought it was a bullet wound and it like caused some serious internal damage and they had to do surgery to remove this hardened chunk of steel that went into his chest and then like while he was recovering from that was and he lost that job obviously and then while he was recovering from that he was recovering from that. He was like, you know, things have been going poorly. I'm going to buy myself a little four-wheeler. And so he like goes to some guy's house who's selling it and it's like evening. So he can't see that the cover is off the chain. And he's out there. And he's like letting his other hand go slack by his side. And it got sucked into the chain and it ate off the tips of like three of his

fingers. He like lost the tip of one finger and most of another finger. And then almost all of another finger like kind of went diagonally across like these three fingers. And so now he's, he's like chest wound hand mangled manual labor guy oh and then he was like roofing and the guy who was like pushing the the sheet metal up to it was like a metal roofing job like shoved it and it like slid his wrist and cut all the tendons in his other hand so it's you know your hand's kind of like a puppet show you're just pulling strings you're operating this thing and all of a sudden his hand like does this now and that's all he's got they couldn't fix it damn like they mostly fixed it but it was this, he was healing from it while he was selling,

he's telling me all this as he melts my plastic bag. He's like, he's like explaining to me how he became a basement dwelling like weed dealer. And it's like these three accidents. And he's like, but I got to support that woman and that little kid up there. So now I, you know,

I got my little farm down here. I got purple Cush from Cali. I got, I got this indica. I got in from Mexico. And this is some Canadian. He's got these plants growing, you know,

down in his basement and stuff. The whole place. smells so dank just this wet moist weed smell wife cheated on him lost the house like good like her dad owns the house so he's kicked out like i think they took his truck from him eventually he was a he was a truck driver he lost that like damn it was rough it was a it was a real sad tale terrible series of events yeah yeah so he has no good hands and he's a blue collar worker with his hands. Yes, exactly.

That kind of, you're up a creep without a paddle at that point. I feel like a lot of this is like the medical system in America just doesn't do its job very well if you don't have money. Like, I bet Colin's axe injury was every bit as bad as that dude's hand injury. And Colin's foot's fine. Yeah. I think the hand ended up being fine with the tendons, but it was a long recovery where like he couldn't use the hand.

Like they immobilized the fingers. And so he had this like, he had it all like, wrapped up and there was like metal on it and it was all braced and he couldn't use his left hand and then the other hand was mangled from the four wheeler so he's down there like clipping weed plants with his two good fingers you know

poor guy damn it was rough his wife was always a little flirty when I'd come over too I was like he wasn't home and she's like he's not here but I guess we could work you walk in there

Mr. two hands you're going to get with your two good hands he tells you not to worry about flexing Mr. Tenfinger you're cracking his knuckles showing off reminds me have you ever seen the movie The Ringer with Johnny Knoxville where he pretends to be retarded? I watched it in theaters 2005

where his gardener Stavi the Hispanic guy reaches under the lawnmower and loses all three of the middle fingers and so then he's like it is not all bad Mr. Dave because now I can pluck so gently the flower. See, that movie's awesome. Yeah, thanks for that.

See, that movie's awesome because all of the so based, like he said, he joins the Special Olympics pretending like he's retarded. But it's like that bit from the South Park episode where Cartman does the same thing. He gets there and realizes like,

these guys aren't, these guys are fine. And they've got all these guys with Down syndrome and developmental, orders who are acting in the roles they don't have like some actor pretend and it's like these guys are awesome that was the first time i saw down syndrome people represented in like a cool way where you actually got to because i didn't know anybody with down syndrome growing up i mean there was probably a kid or two at school but i'd ever spoken to them or or like seen what they were about but they all seem so these are the really smart ones in that movie that's a good movie that's a hilarious movie

yeah he gets there and that dude can outrun him like times five he's like oh i guess that i thought just because they're stupid that they don't have physical prowess here. No, but then Jimmy, Jimmy destroys him. Remember that? Yes, I do. Yeah, the runner. Is Jim one with the

eight and two thumbs? How many fingers do I have? And no, eight and two thumbs. He just dies laughing about it. I had an, am I the asshole? I saw it today. And it's not juicy or anything. But the crowd was legitimately split.

And I was wondering where you guys would land. Okay, those are the good ones. Am I the asshole for confronting a guy who moved my backpack off a seat? So something weird happened today in class. I'm trying to figure out if I overreacted. I usually put my backpack on the chair next to me. The class isn't full because people dropped it. It's never been an issue.

This guy comes up and asks if the bag is mine. I say yes. He picks it up and throws it onto the desk. front of me. I doubt that. But okay, this pisses me off. So I confronted him and told him not to touch my stuff so that he can just ask me to move it next time. He responds saying that's his seat and that he would do the same thing again. For context, there's no assigned seats and I've been sitting there for a few weeks without ever seeing this guy before. I told him, hell no, you're not. And I don't like people touching my things. The conversation didn't really end with both of us in agreement, but I couldn't care

less. So he's asking Reddit for advice. He's posting about it. I told him it's about respect and some people don't like having their stuff touched and by people they don't know. Again, there were a ton of open seats so it wasn't like there was no other option. Am I the asshole?

Where do you guys land? Also, by the way, I feel like he's making shit up. Like, he grabbed my backpack and he threw it. Oh, did he? Did he overhand throw it? How many rows did he send it? You know, like Yeah. The way he wrote that I'm in agreement.

Like, I don't trust this guy. I don't trust his retelling of it. This guy. And then I said, like, hell, you do. And I stood up and the professor removed his glasses and all and clapped. Everybody started clapping. It's fucking true. Yeah.

The way this guy wrote it with his little exposition and clearly made up bits makes me take the other guy's side. And it also makes me think there weren't nearly as many open seats as this guy is trying to insinuate. Like three. Maybe, maybe they're at the back. this guy comes in towards the end he's trying to get it uh i doubt like if if you needed to move someone's bag in class i would be like do you mind if i sit here i wouldn't move their stuff for them that just seems like the courteous way to do it but the idea someone picked it up and hurled it and then got in an argument with you a verbal altercation like this guy's this guy's fivit something about

this doesn't end up everyone's the asshole might be one of those rare occasions that everyone's the asshole because i think it's dickish if he really didn't say like can i move it can i sit here if he really was like this is yours. Like that's a big move too. It's a bit of it. It depends on how he did it, right? I can also imagine him kind of politely putting the bag closer to the guy and, uh, he told it as he threw.

I would, yeah, but here's the thing. I feel like people don't need to ask backpacks permission to sit, right? If you put your backpack on a second chair because you're so fucking important and wonderful that you deserve to. two chairs, you can suck my dick. Fuck you.

You don't get two chairs in a collegiate classroom. Like who the, you put your backpack on a second chair. You just like having two. You like having a space next to you, you know, a little more elbow room. And I'm,

I don't know, maybe I'm an asshole, but it's a combination between you're the asshole for trying to take two seats in the first place. And everybody sucks here because he could have been more polite about insisting that backpacks

don't get their own chairs. Yeah. And this all could have been avoided if like you said, because, you know, in college, that would happen. And you'd sit down and I'd have my backpack. You just put it down on the floor in front of you or like put it under your own seat. Like there's a lot of ways to solve this that don't involve you like staking out a claim to your surrounding area. Which is rude. That was like something like girls would do with purses and whatnot. Or like you'll see you'll see people on public transit do that where they'll like on a bus. They'll put their backpack or their purse or something right next to them. And it's like, yeah, that's rude as fuck. Like you don't get to claim this whole area. This is a guy said, is this your backpack? And he answered yes. A better answer would have been, oh, yeah, did you want to sit there? Is that, like, are you looking like, he's just like, yes.

Like now what you're hoping, he just folds. And, you know, like, oh, well, I guess I hoped it was no one. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for trying to take two chairs in the first place, you cunt. Yeah. Yeah. It's really like when someone comes up and says something, when someone politely says like, oh, is someone sitting here like gesturing at your bag? The way civilized society handles that as you go, oh, no, sit down.

Like, let me let me put this under my seat. Like this is how we behave in like civilization. I'm leaning towards everybody sucks here. I think they, I think everybody sucks, but I'm leaning towards the guy having his bag there and then crying about it to Reddit sucking more because he's clearly adding details to try. and make his dickishness seem more acceptable. As if he was just sitting there and some guy burst in and said, this is MAGA country. And threw his backpack across the room.

And everyone was aghast. It's like, no, this guy's a douchebag. I saw people in like the same vein. It was going big on Twitter in the last two days. Someone filled their mailbox with concrete because they had had it smashed so many times. and so they had like a reinforced post and that had their mailbox there. And they really just had a large PVC tube in the middle of the mailbox and all the rest of it was surrounded by concrete. And the majority of people, in my opinion, was like, yeah, this guy's taking a purely defensive, non-aggressive measure to protect property that has clearly been destroyed before.

There's nothing wrong with this. There's no way this mailbox isn't going to go hurt anybody that doesn't try to come and hurt the mailbox. And there was like a dent on the side of the mailbox. which was funny. They, like, didn't go very far so someone got their arms fucked up. But there were some, like, frankly, pussies being like,

this is disproportionate. Like, smashing a mailbox shouldn't be, like, the same as, like, having your hands or arms shattered because that's what can happen with this guys. Oh, my God.

And it's like... All of you don't know what you're doing. You would have taken it down? I'm a fucking pro, dude. I've told the stories many times, but I've smashed more mailboxes than not... Like, if it were a steam achievement, it would be like a 0.2% of fucking players

have have smashed this mini mailbox. Just so rude. Over a thousand. Over a thousand. Like, no joke. Like, multiple.

That is so many mailboxes. Like, two years of doing it like three or four nights a week. Like, sometimes all night. Three or four nights. Damn. So you're out there,

like, on a Wednesday. We loved it. We loved it so much. Taylor. I turned it, I turned it into a game with a scoreboard. Like,

like, we would go to the, we'd go to Lake Hartwell to the boat ramps. and they have all these really big granite. They're about the size of a cantalope, maybe double the size of a cantalope. That's about the variance in size. But they're granite chunks of massive gravel

to retain the boat ramp area. I'd fill the floorboard of my F-150 up with them. And Scott would throw them out the passenger side, and I'd throw them out the driver's side. And like you'd be going 50, 60 miles per hour and then lob that thing at a mailbox, and they just explode with this really satisfying noise. It snapped the post.

Yeah, I don't doubt it. He said going 60 miles an hour, throwing a giant, chunk of rock. You know, it's easy to do the math after, math after a while of like velocity times mass. And it's a 60 mile per hour concrete cannon ball that's hitting these things. It'd break the post. It was just, boom. And sometimes if they had mail in them, you'd see the mail like confetti, like go up in the air. And then some people would like get really good mailboxes.

Some people do these handmade mailboxes out of hardwood. And like, we'd kidnap those. I'd like to say if there was a way, if their mailbox was at the end of a long driveway or like way out in the country where like you have a bank of mailboxes for a whole community that's like way back in there, we'd stop. We'd get out like it was a hate crime. Like it would be like that scene in office space where they've got the copier out in the field. You see load letter.

What do you even do with them once you have them? Different stuff. So sometimes I'd go, I'd get up. up to like 100, 120, and we just lob it out onto the highway and let it like tumble, like if it was a big, heavy one. Maness, bro. Sometimes the problem for the next guy. Sometimes the idea was to befuddle the guy because you knew he was going to have this

conversation of like, what even happened? So we'd broken his mailbox two or three times. And so he had replaced it with this big armored mailbox, four by four post, down into the earth. And the mailbox itself was one of those locking steel, at least, eighth inch steel, eight, eighth inch thick steel thing. Like when you closed it, it went, damn, chonk.

It had a place to put a padlock on it. I don't understand the purpose of that. I guess the mailman needs the key. I showed up with ratchets and fucking took the whole thing to my shop and got the assettling torch out and cut it into these little chunks. And then I put all those. And then I took the post, the four by four post, chain sawed it into about eight inch lengths.

And then I took it back. And I put it in a pile there where the hole was. So he must have thought that all that happened right there at the end of his mailbox. Why would he, he would, his mind would never make the leap. Why did you do that to him? Did you know this guy, bro?

Was this person? Was this guy a foe? Then I killed his dog. And I cut him into little circular pieces. He must have thought it happened right there in the yard. Right there. It was so funny. You know, we like that fun here.

So he had, so what he had done is he was the estranged brother of a friend of mine. Like they didn't get along. And so my friend had like a dove hunt on his property and this other guy on the adjoining property. And he was over there like spoiling it for everyone. He was making a lot of noise. And they were like, they were intentionally sort of like cutting off path of the birds. just to mess with us when his brother had charged money to most of the people who were there in that field to shoot. And it was like ruining the day of like a dozen people, including me.

And so I was like, we're going to get that guy. We're going to get this guy. And we did. He gave up. He got a peel box. So then I went to the post office. But the post office with my power drill. But even even you, given your extensive history and destroying these things. take the side of the guy defending it with a big time yeah of course right anything that happened to us while we're doing that we deserved it fully if we'd gotten beaten up or arrested or or forced i always had it in the back of my head that like if we get caught i'll pay for this like like i was kind of

keeping like like i would completely understand if we got in any kind of trouble one of my friends who got into it because we were so into it he got caught a cop saw him do it and they made him like go he's like all right go buy a mailbox and be back here in an hour and a half and I'm going to watch you put it up. And I was like, that's awesome. I love that that's the punishment for this, that like, it seems like it fits the crime, you know? Like, dude had to drive, you know, 10, 15 minutes to Hartwell and buy a mailbox and a post and come back out in the summer. And he should have to pay all the bills that were in the mailbox.

Yeah, he's not easy just preparing what he did. Like, yeah, imagine if he robbed a bank and they're like, ah, would he give it back? And that's the only punishment. we'd all be robbing banks. If that was the thing, you just have to hand the big sack of cash back over. Ah, the next time, if one of those dastly kids. If you were doing that like three to four nights a week,

were you like changing vehicles and stuff? Like what links did you go to to avoid detection? You never got an investigative unit on you guys? So mostly we would go to different areas and we would do it at night. And we only got seen doing it once. Like only once did someone actually see us. do the thing. They chased us. They like got in there. We like drive by and hit the mailbox and it was like early evening like the sun was setting and and like the lights were on but like the yard lights. But the sun was still up enough that you could see a little. And we saw people like react to it happening and sprint toward their truck and their truck start coming after us. That was as close as we came. Was it their mailbox? We need to. Oh yeah. Yeah. I did it right. Yeah. Yeah.

It didn't know they were in the yard. I mean, we're driving along at 50 miles per hour. It's hitting everything along the path. He didn't get shot at. Sure. You know, that could have happened to, I guess. We were 17 or 16. Yeah, yeah, like 16, 17, something like that.

I would do it now if I could. Like, if it weren't so. Just to preface, it's incredibly long. Through an Atlanta suburb. It's really fun. I wouldn't want to break people's private property. for like no reason at all like that's what would keep me from doing it but just the game of throwing rocks out the window and hitting things is really fun and then it's incredibly satisfied like i said we had a little marker board uh like like suction cup to the dash and we're keeping score as we go like who's got that's how i know it's like over a thousand because we'd hit like 50 a night a hundred a night sometimes like i can remember having me like i gotta stop and get gas we've been going for a while here we got to reload on rock We'd reload on rocks three or four times.

I got school in an hour. We were like I did it like toward my, I think it was my senior year. But then like the year after too, a little bit, a little bit then as well. I never really did much destruction or property. But one time we stuck about 10,000 plastic forks in a buddy of mine's yard. Oh, that's a good one. I've done that. It takes no time to put them in there.

But getting them out sucks. Why is it harder to get them out? It seems like to bend over for each one. Got to bend down and yeah, take each one out. All we did was we made a belt. There was four solo cups that we strung around ourselves, filled it with forks, and just went through his yard, just grabbing them and sticking them down. We were egg, no.

We egged a lot. We would, uh, I would go and buy, and it really puts the, the inflation these days in perspective, because we would go by those big 48, 96 counts of eggs. And it would just be like pocket change and shit like that. Like, it'd be like $6 worth of eggs and the whole trucks full of eggs. We'd mostly egg people we knew, though. Like, we, it didn't. seemed like, it seemed like really shitty to eggs some stranger's house.

But so we would go get like mostly enemies, but sometimes friends too. You know, they were going to be in on the joke a little bit. But usually not eggs though with them because, uh, my, my cousin's like grandpa is like his mom, not related to me, like that grandparent owned like a fruit stand. And they would always have rotten tomatoes. Like they would always have like, like, yeah, all limbs gone bad, you know, if you won't get rid of them for me and like sure grandpa we'll get rid of all those old dirty rotten tomatoes for you you got a whole bunch of them no let us get those for you and then we're riding around

matering people just when you hear a madeer a fucking two pound tomato hit the side of a trailer at at 11 p.m. at night and it's squishy and you just hear that bang I'd rather get matered than egged because at least the tomatoes are going to go away quicker. Eggs are going to come eat all of it. I was going to say to eggs fuck up paint. They do, right? Car and mouse.

Seems like tee peeing is the gentlest form of this kind of prankery. Or maybe the forking. Or the forking, like something that, like, if you were in a political signs too, that was a big one. Like for a rainstorm, it'll just go away. Did you guys have mischief night? I don't think people outside Jersey have that. Yeah, we felt that Thursday. Was it the night before Halloween?

Yeah, the night before Halloween, there's this tradition. And I think it's mostly New Jersey. I don't know how far else it goes where, you know, the adult in me is like, what kind of holiday is this? Just property destruction, like hurting people. And I never did it. I always like planned on doing it, but the adults in my life schemed to make it un like impossible. All the teachers would assign double homework on mischief night. They knew the score.

All the shopkeepers would like refuse to sell children toilet paper. eggs, stuff like that. I had that would keep an eye on me. Like, I just never participated in it. I would, if I were a teacher, I would not do double homework. I would do no homework on mischief night. I would try to cover my bases that way where I'd be like, make sure you're not getting hit.

Yeah, don't come to my house. No homework. I didn't even look at it through that way. No reading assignment tonight, boys and girls. You know, don't come to my house with eggs. Mayors. Also, one time we tied some like 50 pounds. fucking fishing line.

We used it to tie a dude's front door handle to his posts outside and the ding-dong ditched him and just stood there. That was awesome. It's pretty good. We layered this shit up. We knock on the door. He's trying to open it. Like, what?

What? I'm just looking out through the glass. Like, I don't know, bro. What's wrong with your door? I would do time delayed fireworks. So I'd take a cigarette and light it up, puff on it a few times and then pinch the butt off. And you've got just the paper now. And then you pick a, uh, the fuse of firework and you stick it in the, the dry

end. Yeah, like a you've got like a, yeah, I don't remember them doing it in that. I haven't seen it in a long time. Maybe that's what they did in the mailbox. Yeah.

The inciting incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that work? I feel like cigarettes go out if you don't puff it. So they changed the paper that they changed the cigarette paper

15, 20 years ago or something like that so that it does burn out because people were like smoking in bed falling asleep and it would burn the, burn them up. So if you just sit there and don't puff it for long enough, it will burn out. But when I was doing it, it worked fine. And so, like, you'd be able to set that thing up.

And I'd get one of the rolls of firecrackers, you know, like a 500 roll. Just sit it on the doorstep, put that cigarette delayed fuse on there. And I'm running down this dirt road because I had the insert on foot. You know, you couldn't pull up in the yard. And I'm just running down this dirt road. And Scott's next to me. And I'm like, he's like, should have gone off by now? I'm like, we got a few more.

I'm like, all right, all right, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Don't you to work. Get in the cab. The bay is too full of broken mailboxes. I stole a shopping cart one time. I didn't do anything that crazy. We stole a shopping cart one time. We had in the back of the truck.

And then we were going down this road and I'm like, you drive. And I like pull over the side of the road. No, I didn't pull over the side of the road. We hot swapped. We fucking hot swapped while we're driving. And I opened the back window in the truck and crawl through it into the bed while we're going down to the road. And I'm like, faster! And he gets this up to speed.

And I power the shopping carts are heaviest and the wind really catches them. But I power it up like over my head and like chunked it at a mailbox missed like crazy. But a shopping cart going 60 miles per hour tumbles and goes crazy like down the road. So that was pretty awesome too. Still cool even though you missed the mailbox. Oh yeah. I'm fucking 40 years old. Just destroying some of these trucks.

That gives me so much joy. It's like, oh, that's so fun. That was so fun. Why don't you get back out there? Carte diem. You know, cease the day. They're a lot harder on a 40-year-old. Yeah.

We're going to slap on the wrist when you're an adult. It's hard. What are you doing out? I feel like if my phone didn't rat me out, my truck would rat me out or some random zoom camera would wrap me out. Zoom? What am I looking for? Is that ring camera?

Yeah, yeah. No, you're right now. Like these days, like, I would be, like, I would be, like, no one would take your side. No, no one would be like, he's just having a good time. It's not boys to be boys anymore. Like, like, you know, fucking hillbillies out of nowhere have a ring doorbell camera or, or something out there.

You'd be, you'd be that goober, like, paying for 800 mailboxes. At $50 a pop. Everybody's got a ring now. I'm sure all of us have one, right? No, absolutely not. I don't like any of that stuff. I've got like a closed system. I've got a thing.

We've got cameras and recorders and stuff, but I don't trust that ring. That's all in your bedroom. Yeah, yeah. We probably shouldn't mention that. Delete that, Zach. It's just in your bedroom and all the showers. That's the only,

I got the toilet cams. I'm just just looking, you ever see those on, on porn sites? Like the hidden toilet cam? No. It's just like, who's the foot holes?

I don't know. It's like, who wants to see this? Somebody's a deviant. Mother, this is the worst. Well, this is the worst.

I wanted to install that. A poopie room. Because they'll do it like a chilies or something. They'll like, they'll like go out to dinner and like install a toilet cam. And like before they leave, they'll, you know, remove it.

and go back home and jerk off. They're all these people pooping. Oh, man. At Chili's too. Chili's is one of those places where like, if I have to shit there, I'm going in like a, like a Japanese zero pilot. Like,

like a movie bombing. I'll be right back. Yeah. Coma-Cosia in that. I just had fucking $11 worth of vennetisers. Let's get to work. A bunch of mozzarella sticks, which are clearly just frozen and reheated.

Oh, and then like political season came around. I guess it was, This must have been 2002. Yeah. So I was about 16. And every yard was full of those political signs. And for whatever reason, we wanted them. We wanted them all.

And we would drive around town and take every political sign we saw. Especially, like, I had a friend whose dad was running for sheriff or mayor. I don't remember which. And so we got all the competitor's signs. We're like, we're getting every one of that other guy's signs. And we just, I mean, we clear the county out. We got so many of them. I remember my dad found a mailbox in the basement one time

he's like what the fuck is this it was like it was a it was a um is it Miami Hurricanes is that the the football team yeah yeah yeah it was a giant Miami Hurricanes helmet that like mailbox and it was beautiful and so when we saw it I was like Scott we gotta take it I have to have it

I have to have it I was like my buddy actually the same guy whose dad we were stealing signs like like his dad's a huge hurricane spam. He'll love this. We'll gift him the stolen mailbox. My dad found it in addition to the election. I'm like G. Gordon Lydia, doing my own private water gate over here. Someone should have taught you right from wrong at some point in your way.

He was like, he caught me with the mailbox. He's like, what the fuck is this? Are you insane? Wait, is this what you've been doing Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, not for four hours between the hours of two and six a he didn't know we were breaking mailboxes he he thought we had taken that one nobody knew what we were doing like like we were just go i was like i just go you know the same way that your parents would let you like walk into the city or like go to the boardwalk or whatever i would just drive off at six it you know there was some mail box salesman in your area driving a Cadillac like just that guy's like i don't know what's happening but business is abooman

This is fantastic. You know, only 1,200 people live in this county, and I've sold 5,000 mailboxes in the last six months. Something ain't adding up here. We pulled this mailbox out of the ground one time, post and all. And we got the post and the mailbox inside the cab of the truck. We're lunatics. And we're driving down, it's daytime.

We're driving down the road with this whole mailbox in the cab, and we hear, this was an abandoned mailbox. It's full of bees. It's full of bees. It's full of bees. They stung us all up. Holy shit. You deserved that.

Of course we did. A little bit of karma. Yeah. Stull the bees. Yeah, that, man, if my dad would have found like a mailbox that I'd stolen in my basement, it would have been a reckoning. It wouldn't have been, what are you doing? I got a lot of trouble for that one.

I think he took my car away for a while and maybe, he's like, take this back. And I'm like, can't really do that, can I? He's like, no, I guess you can't. All right. Go melt this. well then go install this in our yard it's pretty cool you're right it's pretty cool it's been bulldogs

oh yeah yeah that was a good time I don't know you're such a public nuisance man I think you did say you hit mailboxes of baseball bats too I think maybe we tried that once or twice it just doesn't work like it just doesn't do much damage to them

and like you are hanging out the window of a car so it's dangerous. And if somebody's got a concrete mailbox, you jam your arms up really bad. I never really did that. But when we discovered the rock thing, that was its own game. Like that was target practice.

That was exploding them. Josh, I'm trying to stack rank you and Kyle. What did you go to prison for again? Or jail was coming threats to destroy buildings by means of fire and explosives. So what is that? He's giving me a part of time about the mailboxes.

Meanwhile, we got a terrorist over there. He was just mailbox with you, not schools. Did you just write a letter? Like, what is transmitting threats of fire? Help me. I was playing Roonscape, that nerd-ass game, and a friend of mine told me to download a game that made fun of Columbine. And then somebody came up and budded in on the conversation

and told us that if we were going to talk about Columbine, that I should just call them on the phone and log out of Minecraft. And in the spirit of escalating warfare, my drunk 19-year-old ass was like, oh, bro, I fucking love Columbine. I, fucking love Columbine. Collinine's the best. I want to go Columbine. And then four days later, the SWAT team showed up. And they kind of blew the shit out.

You went to jail for that? Yeah, the threats itself. I mean, they went above and beyond trying to prove that I was really going to do it. You know what I mean? So, well, wait, all you said is I love Columbine in your retail. I mean, I was a little more graphic. Did you just backpack on the desk us and try to make it look like you're the good guy? No, I was a little more graphic than that. Like, I said something about like, I'm going to blow brains out of skulls.

Like, I was being over the top about it. And a sentence that got me the actual bomb terrorist threat charge was because I said that school could be gravel if I have anything to say about it. Just being a dumb ass talking out the side of my neck. And that word gravel got me an extra charge. I had two counts, transmitting threats to kill and injure and transmitting threats to destroy buildings by means of fire and explosives. And I remember telling my buddy that in jail, my specific statutes. And he was like, it's pretty metal, though. It's pretty metal to say, you know, it's pretty cool.

threatened to destroy buildings by means of fire. You know, when you're reading off a page, it sounds bad. But it's kind of cool, though. But yeah, so I was, I'm technically on paper. I'm a convicted domestic terrorist because of that shit. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, starting at age 19.

But also it was 2012 when I said that shit. I feel like a lot of people kind of forget that. In the context of 2012, it was a lot less. It wasn't happening like that back then, you know? It wasn't like every. single week there's a shooting. No, it started shortly after my rest. I was going to say, but talk like that. Oh, yeah, the smack talk. That's just Xbox Live. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,

you guys would know how, how cod lobbies get. That's what a lot of my comments always are is like, man, people will be getting life sentences for cod lobbies. If he got six years, four days after I made the threat, I put in quotation marks, bomb squad, FBI field agents, the helicopter, bomb sniffing dogs that I did not know existed. I thought there were only drug dogs until they were at my house, but they have bomb dogs too. They were like trying dogs. They have dogs to sniff for SD cards. Yeah. Damn. That's wild. Yeah, I mean, I guess they got a dog for just about everything. I had no, I was wondering why they had dogs there. I was like, the only thing that I could fathom why they

were there because I did not think about the stupid shit I said on RuneScape was I'd gone out and smoked a bowl that morning. So I was like, maybe my neighbors thought that I'm growing. And so they called the FBI. I don't, I don't even know. But it turns out they were there for the shit that I talked on Roomscape. Yikes. You typed it into like a chat and a game? Yeah. Yeah, typed it in the chat box of the game where it disappears after like 30 seconds,

you know, into the void of the game. But they keep records of it. And the guy that I was having the piss and match with reported me to the game company, which is in England. So they had no choice but to contact the FBI. And like all of that part, I totally understand and support. I understand them coming and tear it up my house and making sure I didn't have weapons.

But when they like went to prosecute fullest extent of the law, law, that's kind of where my case gets iffy, in my opinion. When they knew damn good and well that I wasn't really going to do it, but they were trying to make it seem like they were doing something that caught these people, you know, because I got arrested- Did you have any kind of record already? Possession of marijuana when I was 18. That was it.

That's it. Basic possession for like two grams of some Mexican dirtweed with black seeds in it that I got hit at a roadblock with. What were you not to say? I didn't mean to interrupt you. You said something happened more recently, maybe? What were you saying? Oh, hell, man.

I probably already lost it. Jack, check, check. Okay. No, there was another, oh, what I was going to say was that I got arrested in October of 2012, and then Sandy Hook happened two months after I got to jail. And then this ball really started rolling where it was like monthly shootings and then like weekly shootings. And by the time that I actually got to my sentencing 17 months later, there had been, one guy did it in a video about me.

He said that there were like 38 instances of mass shootings in America between my arrest and my sentencing. And so they really had to seem like they were doing something about it, you know. especially because you got guys like Nick Cruz that posted all over Facebook. Like, I want to be a professional school shooter with his name, his picture, didn't get caught until, you know, he killed a ton of people. Who got me over here? Who is that one? Or what shoot Nick Cruz?

It was in Florida. I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head. It was a Florida. It's hard to keep track of them. Yeah. And that's sad. Yeah, it's not like it was once. It seems like it's, you know, every week or at least twice a month or something.

like that there's a pretty rough one and they just meld together i think there was a bunch of children killed in canada maybe you know like a month or two ago and then i think there was two in europe somewhere there was something here just a couple days there's a big thing in the south some guy killed like eight kids right that was different those are his kids he killed seven of his own kids and one more yeah okay family annihilator then he wasn't a mass shooter yeah he changed He killed himself? I don't remember seeing that, so I don't think so. I think he killed seven of his own children and then one who wasn't his.

And I don't remember them saying he killed himself. I think they took him. Jeez. Damn. Yeah. That's horrid. Yeah, that's pretty awful. Yeah, people like cringe their skin off when I tell them that I said what I said

because it's such a different atmosphere now in 2026 and it was in 2012, you know? The last thing that happened in 2012 was like the Aurora Colorado shooting where that dude went to the movie and shot a bunch of people. Yeah, he had the or tear. At the time, the media was like, he thought he was the Joker. And then apparently the police were like, so you were inspired by the Joker. And he's like, what? The fuck?

No, I'm just crazy. I was inspired by me. Well, sir, you did say why so serious three times in the initial investigation. Sorry, the clown makeup threw me off. I thought for sure that that was. was your deal. Okay. My mind. Weird. Same thing. Do you remember how absurd that was?

I guess, oh man, time flies. It was 2019 when that Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix came out, the one that was actually good. And people were trying to amp it up. No, it was the one, Joker, where he's all skinny. And then he's like, let me tell you another joke Marais. I think it's just called Joker.

And that one with Waukeen Phoenix. Okay, that's what you said. That was like 2019. So like seven years ago, whatever. And leading up that people were trying to amp up like there are reasonable threats of shooters going to Joker movies and it's like

this isn't you're taking a story that was fake about a previous Joker shooting and trying to make it into like a new Joker shooting like this is it's wrong on every yeah that's fucked up yeah it was the peak of like in cell being a search term

as well so they were sort of like they were saying that it was going to inspire ins cells to do similar acts of violence. Has Encel been around as a term that long? I thought it was the peak of it. 2019. Oh man. I'm out of date then. Yeah. It was a good movie.

Yeah, I mean, well, it's a good movie. I know Woody wasn't the biggest fan. I liked it the first time they made it when it was called Taxi Driver. That was a good movie too. It's the same movie. It's the same wardrobe. Taxi driver is better.

Yeah. Is it? You think? Yeah, I think it's better But that maybe I might be biased I like both movies a tremendous amount And I've seen them both Three or four or five times You froze Taylor If you can still hear me

He was frozen solid Frozen solid Oh I can a pose now In a new position All right All right I was just saying

Walking Phoenix was really good So I'm not saying he sucked Or anything And the movie was terrible Like it's just You know De Niro when taxi driver was, it was better.

Or wasn't taxi driver based on an older movie? You would know this, Kyle. You know every movie. No. Not that I know of. I think taxi driver is an original Scorsese. Jody Foster's so good in that, playing a 14-year-old prostitute. And Harvey Keitel is the creepy-ass pimp. And

every scene is really good. When he's working out and has that monologue in his head, he's like, my body's gotten weak and sick. No more of the pills. No more of the poison every day i will do 50 pushups 100 sit-ups and he's you show him working out like he's like holding his hand over the gas burner no more unhealthy foods no more than he's burning himself yeah all that and then when he's buying the guns the gun salesman is hilarious he he's he's

he's like i'll take this that and the others like ah this comes with a holster to be 1400 you want you want a catalect and get your brand new catac you want pills uppers downers quailudes you He's got everything nefarious to sell. Yeah, that's a good-ass movie. But again, that's exactly what Joker is. It's just a remake of that. Despite that, I looked it up. The writer said he was inspired by two previous movies,

and I don't know them. Pickpocket from 59 and The Searchers from 56. Ah, I've seen The Searchers. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I think it's John Wayne, right? It is John Wayne, a troubled man trying to rescue a young girl with moral ambiguity between the hero and an unstable outsider. Okay.

In that regard, I suppose, it's a bit similar. Basically, a girl, a girl gets kidnapped by Indians, and John Wayne and his posse, like, are just looking for her for the whole movie. And by the time they find her, she's, like, gone native. Like, she's kind of one of them. It's, it's, uh, I think, to say I saw it over, exaggerates it, but I think I was in the room when that played once. Sure.

It's got enough pop culture relevance that, like, I don't know what beat for beat, but I know that, like, what I said is true. I saw it when I was eight or ten or something like that. It's a long time. That's how I've seen Titanic. I've been in the room while it's played. I've pieced it together. I know the end.

I'm not going to watch the whole thing. I saw this thing about AI, and they had Leonardo DiCaprio be like, wait a second, and he climbs on top of the door. This room for two. It has a better ending. What do you know? What do you want you on the door? I wouldn't.

just the memes I've seen about Titanic, I know I would hate it. If that bitch throws away that really expensive necklace for no reason at the end, I'd be like, you, you cunt, you absolute cunt. You could have like,

that could have been 10 houses for your kids and grandkids. Exactly. It's an act of selfishness, right? Because her life is just about over it. The woman who throws it in, shit, that she died three months after filming.

She looked half dead during filming. But old rose. She has people, presumably, that she cares for. That's not her. necklace that that's the that's the thing that i get caught up on that's true that was that was billy zane's necklace and he never married that tramp who fucked a fucking he what i think he won

his ticket in like a card game right before the boat takes off he's like fourth class passenger doesn't even have clothes to wear to the party and she's slumming it with leo and when billy zane's good-looking rich dude who doesn't seem that dushy he's a little dushy to leo but he's like moving in on his girl on it. I don't know what it costs to go on a Titanic maiden voyage cruise, but in modern days it would probably be a big fucking deal. It's probably like a

probably laid down 50,000, a hundred thousand dollars. It's expensive as hell. A lot of the guys on there were the guys against the creation of the Fed. Fuck that chunky bitch. The chunky bitch. I'm the king of the world. He's not even the king of third class steerage. He's like like this guy to get a rat.

Get out of here. Was he like a stowaway? Did he work on the ship? No, he won it in a poker game. Oh, Leo won it in a poker game. Yeah. He can't. He wants to take it like five minutes for the boat lift. Then he immediately moves in on some very wealthy, handsome man's woman and Boneser, right?

He fucks her, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Steamy Model T fuck. In that car. Yeah. Yeah. Things are pretty cool. I like those.

Things mostly wood. Really? Oh, too? Yeah. A lot of wood in there. I worked with a guy who had a Model T. He said the break was really hard to press. Like it didn't move.

It kind of pressed up to it. Like, you know, without the benefit of hydraulics, like you'd imagine it be. He's making contact. You just push it hard with your foot until it slows down. There's a lot of funny pro-horse anti-combustion engine propaganda from like the early 20th century, where it's like a cartoon horse looking at a destroyed Model T being like, you fool the horse is forever you are merely a fad and it's not all these cartoons

looking at like the horse is like eating a bucket of oats in the gas station in the background says out of gas or something and this guy's like riding past the family stuck on the side of the road yeah I mean the adoption of the car was probably the worst thing for the horse ever like the yeah I've seen a graph the global population of horses and it's just it's just it's like a vertical line as soon as cars got invented. I remember reading about that in a bathroom reader one time,

that yeah, people were really resistant to cars when they first came out and thought it was going to be a passing thing and would never replace the horse. That was legit. And there was, yeah, like you said, straight up propaganda, like anti-car, pro horse propaganda. The same was going on with electricity back in the day. There's all those. They were, I think Edison wanted DC and then the other guy wanted AC,

alternating current. And Edison was like, I think that's when they took a elephant and they electrocuted it to death with alternating current to show just how dangerous it was. The video still exists. It's really off-footing. Savage. Poor elephant. One thing that I thought was interesting. Apparently when like telephone lines, I'll call them, you know, the power lines, were strung up. People were excited about it and saw it as like progress and modernization of their city. And then later, like we see it now and it's kind of blight. almost like those power lines especially in like a city setting like bury

that nonsense and it looks third world to us but when it first comes people invite it with open arms and I wonder like I could imagine a future where people maybe think about windmills like that or something they put that shit offshore I don't want to look at it yeah I'm already

I like them whenever I've driven I think it's the drive to Chicago and back somewhere along the way there's a big windmill farm and it's I mean we'd never seen that before so me and like Jeremy or whoever was in the car were like pull over like fuck it's so much bigger than I thought like it's so fucking big it's a bit it's like a modern marvel in its own right they're pretty cool looking they're nice I don't find them I don't see it

that way I see it is to me it looks like the future to me it looks like progress future looks like the past well I I've seen those cargo vessels with sales now. Just because it's, you know, we phased them out, doesn't mean it's a bad idea. I like them. I would be okay with them being. I like them too. I don't, where I saw them, there really weren't people around.

You know, they were in farms. It was like Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma type area. California has a bunch too. In California, they tend to put them on top of mountains. So it changes the horizon a bit. And if you're not okay with it, I get it. But also like it's practically uninhabitable, like the nature. of that land is dry, fire prone, and, you know, steep.

If it's in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, it's not really much of an eyesore, because you're right, like, who gives a fuck? But, like, when I was in Hawaii and I saw them, like, speckling different beautiful mountain ridges, it's like, this, that's absurd, guys. Like, you're taking a beautiful silhouette of planet Earth and you're putting nonsense on it that just doesn't look good. Okay. I'm anti,

I'm anti windmill on anything that's pretty to look at. I like it. I think we should develop the fuck out of Hawaii. I don't like Hawaiians, especially like native Hawaiians. I don't like, they've got a word for white people.

Like they call us Howley's or whatever. Do you know how we took Hawaii, how it became a state? Probably easily. Very easily because Dole, the guy who owns Dole pineapple, but his name is Dole, he hired like mercenaries and attacked the island as a private citizen over through the queen of Hawaii

and then the U.S. was like, oh, a fallen government, eh? And they just slid right in so that the Brits couldn't take it. Yeah. I'm glad we have it. Me too. I'm glad Dole took it for us. I like that. That's capitalism, baby. Shout out, Dull then. The queen of Hawaii. Hawaii is very nice. If you'd be overthrown by a pineapple company, you deserve to lose power. Yeah, you didn't have a real kingdom if like some guy wearing a Chiquita banana hat can show up with 60 dudes and be like,

that guy's hard for you don't fuck the Chiquita guy. I remember being a Chiquita life. If it's not ours to be Japan's, right? Britain was who it was going to go to it. They don't have a geographic claim like U.S. in Japan dude. No, well,

that never stopped them before. I hear you, I hear you. I'm thinking about like would they have staying power to keep it? How could they defend Hawaii from England to be a tough way? They had all those islands prior to World War II. Japan has enough islands. We were due.

We need some islands. That's why when Seward did the... I'm sorry, I talked over you. When Seward did the deal for Alaska, one of the main reasons that Russia liked the deal was that they were afraid that the Brits were going to move into Alaska because they were already in Canada. and they had it. They were way more worried about the Brits than they were the fledgling American,

so they were happy to sell all of Alaska for like $7.5 million. It works out to a little less than two cents per acre or something like that. Godly. Isn't Alaska like deceptively big, too? Is that the biggest state? It is one third the size of the continental United States. It is double the size of Texas. I was going to say it, whoops, Texas then.

Golly, double Texas. It doesn't look like that when you just look at a map. The distortion or whatever. It does, right? When you look at a map, they overestimate the size. because it's in the North Pole-ish. Oh, yeah, I guess that would be where the world is. You drag it down, it gets a little smaller.

It's still crazy that we had taken. Brazil's the same size as the U.S. I didn't know that until I looked at one of those maps that adjust the other day, and you slide Brazil up over the continental U.S. Roughly the same size. I think it's a little bigger. I didn't know that either.

No. We were like fucking massive. Only a couple countries comparable. We're bigger than Brazil. If we are, it's not by very much at all. like it's almost identical. Damn, that's wild. Isn't it, it's Russia, Canada,

US, China, and then I guess Brazil. Yeah, so what I mean? Damn, yeah. Looks like you got very comparable size. Yeah, but we got... We got that Alaska. Yeah, Alaska's going to win us, win it for us. But it's pretty comparable to the lower 48.

Like, good. You see how we're going to ignore it? than it like can you drag Alaska to the lower 48 is that oh I'd love that because it's as big as like from the Mississippi to to the east

Alaska is wow yeah way bigger like that it swamps Texas it's a lot bigger than Texas but not as big as it looks when it's in place yeah true that's how Russia gets that

enormous looking country even though like let's you know enormous yeah Canada as well and Canada is also hanging their hat there's a lot of ice up there or we count in the ice hmm unenhabitable land you think of Canada is the strip that's populated above America it's a lot smaller yeah but that's where like 98% of the population lives right something right along that border right there but they have resources up north of it I want to come back to talking about geography but first folks lock and load You got to check it out. You got to pop over to gorillamine.com.

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And of course, lock and load. That should be your go-to. start coming like a man. Yes. Do you guys ever look at, maybe this is just me, but I think lots of people do this. Do you ever just spend time

scrolling around looking at maps, trying to remember where all, like I'll close my eyes and be like, all right, can I remember in order the north coast of Africa? Or can I remember the,

oh, no, you guys don't do that? You know what I do? I'll go to someplace like a major city in Mongolia. and just go down to like street view and stuff and try to imagine life there. Now we know the capital of Mongolia, obviously, Ulaan Batar.

They only have about three and a half million people there. And it's like the fifth biggest country in the world. It's crazy. Really? Yeah. Mongolia is sick. They, I think they have like two paved roads in all of Mongolia. Wow.

And like one of them is like mostly surrounding, like it's mostly dirt. and like a pressed nonsense. It's not a real... Is it possible you're out of date? It's an agrarian society. I could be out of date. Here's where I'm coming from. There was a movie called Longway Round

where Ewan McGregor and Charlie Borman took their motorcycles from Scotland and then just went east and across Mongolia and Russia and etc. And it inspired like a whole bunch of people. but like people who want to like do it now it's not the same thing because it's paved or something pseudo paved like where they take a dirt road and treat it with something so it's they didn't actually roll in like asphalt but it's asphalt comparable. Yeah looking at this. They have no they they have a very limited network of paved roads with estimates ranging from 5,000 kilometers to 10,000 kilometers out of the total road network.

which exceeds 100,000 kilometers. Oh, shit. Best case scenario, 5 to 10% of roads in Mongolia seem to be paved. But I think that central area there, their capital, Uunbatar,

I think that's their only city with largely paved roads. Like all the rest, I don't think, are like mostly paved. Hmm. I did it with Greenland recently, you know,

because Trump was threatening to invade, and I was like just sort of zooming in their cities and like, what is it like here? What is what is the life like for a Greenlander? I find that's interesting. They're all on the coasts. You know, no one's on the big ice block, which I guess, you know,

it's one of those things that as soon as you see it on the map, you're like, but you don't think about it that way. You think there's probably a city in the middle. But yeah, Greenland's pretty cool. We should have it. But then we're also being tricked, like we were saying with the map. We think it's way bigger than it is. Yeah.

Hey, Zach, can you do that first? Can you drag Greenland of the lower 48? I want to see what we're looking at. It's still going to be monstrous, but... I bet. Do you think it's bigger than... I bet it's like half the size of the East Coast. It's bigger than Alaska, isn't it?

That would surprise me, but I don't know geography very well. I think it's bigger. They're both way up north, so they both get the same... What is it, the Mercurialization? I forget what the map is called, the mercurial projection, something close to that. That's it. So the whole East Coast and then some. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty big.

Yeah, that's massive. And I think we checked. That would put us over Russia. Really? Really? I think if we added that square mileage, we would then be number one. And the sheep is different than it is in my mind. I guess when you drag it up north, the top of it gets wider.

See? Yeah. But have you ever seen the non-mercureal or whatever? Mercator map? That's what it is? I've seen that and I'm like, I don't like this. This isn't right. This isn't what I imagine the world to be.

I don't like this. We have to go back to the open. No. Yeah. Should we switch over to the metric systems, kind of in the same vein. I think we should. I think we should drop this whole I keep Fahrenheit. Leave that the same.

I want to Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit's so much better. But I want to go to milliliters and kilograms and kilometers. It really is a better system. It's a lower number if you weigh yourself in kilograms. That's what I

Celsius people. You're just wrong. Only 150. You're incorrect about this. If you think that temperature system based on water is a good idea. Like maybe if you're doing science stuff, I'm with you, Celsius or Kelvin or something. Like, I'm open,

I'm open-minded to something for science that's different. But if you're measuring the human experience, Fahrenheit pretty much goes from zero to 100. Those are the human temperatures that we exist in, mostly. It goes below zero and above 100. But zero to 100 is kind of the really cold to really hot that the temperature outside gets.

Celsius does what? It goes from like negative 15 to 42. This is where you're the stupid one metric people. Your negative 15 to 42 basic experience is every bit as weird as our pounds and ounces and feet and inches. Yeah. I've heard people say like for exactly the reason you said that like zero degrees Fahrenheit, it's like, man, I'm chilly as hell. it's fucking freezing out. 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

It's like, man, I'm hot. Hot as hell. But like 100 degrees Celsius is like you're dead. Like you get to the point. Like you'll hear people on like British shows be like, oh, it's a scorcher in it. 31 degrees out. And it's like, come on. Speak freedom units in this regard.

We can do the kilograms. We can do the other things. You know, ounces is a crazy system. Oh, yeah. That's a real fly by night making it up as you go along. I think, you know, it adds to my problem that there's fluid ounces as well. So now, like, you want so many ounces of milk and like, what do we do it here? I don't know.

Yeah. I don't like it. But cooking, it's, it's way, it's way nicer to use metric for cooking too. I usually set my little scale to metric and use my recipes in metric. It's just cleaner. It's cleaner when you're pumping out, when you grab 40 grams of something instead of like, you know, one, But you don't do a metric of it. You keep it on your Fahrenheit.

I didn't even know it could go to sell to, I never considered that that was a setting on there. Must have to hold the power button and the up key or something. I didn't even know they did that. I mean, now I realize that it's probably just a button press, but yeah, I never even considered that. Even when I ghost hunt, when I ghost hunting phasmophobia, and I'm looking for those low temperatures.

I'm on Celsius because freezing is zero. I like that better. That is science, though. So here's, this just occurred to me and it's incredibly important. I have symmetric wrenches. I tend to use my 8mm, my 10, my 12 to 13 sometimes, whatever. And then I have, what, freedom wrenches? And they go from half inch to 9.16th to 5 eighths to 1116th to 3 quarters to something,

something what the fuck am I doing here? There's a good system. There's too many fractions on the right. Yeah. It's not better. What's annoying is like both are applicable. So when you're working on something, I can, so many times we'd be under something and be like,

it's metric. Oh, fuck. Go get the fucking the thing of metric. It's a 10 millimeter. They're all 10 millimeters. I rounded this one off. Yeah. It's a.

with stuff like that. How about you, Josh? Are you pro-imperial units? I'm not going to lie. I haven't really given it much thought. I mean, like, that was always a big joke in my Twitch chat because I had people from all over.

You know, they'd always be freedom units versus Celsius and all that good stuff. But I don't know. I had a math teacher when I was in seventh grade that told us that apparently one time in history of America, they tried switching to metric

and everybody got fucked up. I think that's what she said that like she had to briefly teach for two years. She was a math teacher. So she said she had to teach metric measurement. and it got scrapped, basically. You'd have to slow roll it. You'd have to just start teaching it early

and then let everybody who's growing up with Imperial die off. To me, they've been doing, I'm in my 50s and I can speak metric. So listen, everyone my age and younger has been taught metric. Just don't be stupid and you'll be fine. You know, NASA, 2.2 pounds.

That's all I got. Yeah. NASA had this Mars orbiter. It cost 125. million dollars and part of the work had been done in metric and part of the one had been done in imperial our freedom units or whatever and they i think they crashed that fucker into mars you're sure they crashed that fucker in at least pick one yeah that's a that seems like a day one problem to solve like what units of measurement are we using for our mars mission i don't remember

how i got like mixed up but that was the case like part of the calculations had been done one way and part the other, and they either burn it up, I guess they crashed it into Mars or they bounced it off or something. They lost it. NASA, do better. But they did just do a good thing with the moon trip, right? They made it around. We didn't talk about that much.

They must they would have stopped. So that was the fast. Did you see the astronauts say that? He's like, technically this is incredibly challenging. I don't want to, I don't want anybody getting upset with what I'm about to say, but it looked easy. It looked like, he was like, once we were there, I was like, that's doable.

Like, all I got, he's like, if we'd had a lander and fuel out of went, we'd have gone. He's like, I'd have touched it down because it was just right there. That's so disappointing. They should have sent him with one. A previous Apollo mission, they said the same thing. They were like, we'd have touched it. I think they gave them just enough fuel to like pull the lander off the craft and then put it back again. Because they were afraid that they would attempt the landing if they gave them enough fuel to actually.

actually do the landing. That was the fastest that human beings have ever gone this last month. And it was also the furthest from Earth that humans have ever gone. Those three Americans and a Canadian and a black fellow. Did they use the moon's gravity to slingshot and get back? Like they sometimes do. Yeah, basically, they went out and went around the moon and came back. They went around the Earth like at least one full orbit, maybe two.

And then there's an interesting flight path that shows how, works because it's not a linear path. They have to like aim for where the moon's going to be. And it looks terrifying. It's so scary because like it goes without saying orbital mechanics are complicated. But like it's rocket science. It's it's kind of rocket science. Isn't it kind of like, eh?

Yeah, pretty much. They do a little bit of that. Like they end in the in the, when Apollo 13 was coming back, they're looking through the triangle window. and he took a grease pin and made a little dot and he's aiming the dot at Earth while they do burns and trying to keep it pointed at Earth. Dude, if I were a passenger on that and I saw a guy drawn on the window with a grease pin,

I'd be like, we're going to die. Yeah, it's over. It's over with. Imagine what a badass that guy is. He was a fucking Air Force test pilot probably had gone through so many hoops and hurdles. He's the best of the best. America could delineate down and send in the fucking space.

and he's like, so we don't have any calculations? No, everything's frozen. Everything's broken. We don't have to power to run the computer. If we did, it's basically a Cassio calculator. All right, I got a grease, man. All right, give her some gas. We got this.

You can't keep it pointed at the fucking planet Earth. I know it's scary and hard, but I really want us to accelerate the space stuff. I want us to get to Mars sooner than later. I don't want to be, you know, dead when they finally get there. Crazy. It was barely a story. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but when I think about what's been in the news for the past month, that's got to be eighth place. For sure, but like it is hard to, I get like the, they got further away. But when you've been to the moon and then you just take a trip around it, people are muted a little bit because they're like, we did this. Like they're not thinking like if this was what they did.

Is your contention we've been to the moon, Taylor? I think so. I think I'm pretty sure we've been there. If someone showed me irrefutable evidence that we haven't, I'd be like the guy in clockworked orange, I'd be like, no, no,

be forced to me to watch the videos of Stanley Kubrick directing. I'd be, I'd be pissed because that was kind of the pinnacle of our, of American civilization, like going to the fucking move. That was 1997 actually, but that China, India, Russia have all sent orbiters to the moon and taken photos of our landing site. And I promise you if any of those three groups of people had been able to say, actually, there's nothing there. We don't see anything.

But instead, they've got, they've all got identical varying and quality photographs of our landing site from. The American flag there. Yeah. Well, it's almost certainly bleached to white by now. I was thinking that too. Like, wonder what it looks like. It's all dusty. This flag now.

Just pure white. I think it was, I think the new flag they're sending up is some sort of metal, like, like, like, like braided metal or something like that. Or maybe the old flag. There was something special about the flag I was reading. But yeah, that thing's almost certainly bleached. But anything they left there, like the footprints, that one astronaut put a picture of his wife and himself maybe up there,

his family, I think, like a Polaroid. That stuff will be there for tens, if not hundreds of millions of years. There's no plate tectonics. There's no weathering. There's no atmosphere. The only thing that changes the surface of the moon is micrometeorites and dusting things sort of like over eons and eons and eons. Everything that's there stays.

Yeah, I remember reading that about how their footprints are going to be there for whatever the future of human history probably is. 100 million years. Oh, yeah. Forever. Because there's nothing that would make them get scattered or, yeah, like you said, no atmosphere, no wind. I think that the, so the, the, the, the,

material on the moon, I think, is this non-oxidized regalit or something. And so when it would get on the astronauts and they would get back in their capsule and obviously there's oxygen once they're back in the... It would oxidize and smell like burnt gunpowder. Yeah, I remember reading about that. But they all got like this really bad hay fever sort of allergic almost reaction to inhaling that stuff. You got everywhere. It's a very fine, like abrasive dust. So it gets on lenses.

It scratches everything up. It fucks up the zippers. They said the suits from just being there for like an afternoon, the suits were already like fucking up and the zippers and everything. I don't like how glib the astronauts who landed were with tripping. Like they would trip and be like, oh, ho silly me.

Like I would be horrified the whole time that I'm going to hit some moon rock and it's going to cut my suit and then I'm going to die. And I'll be the first death on the moon. there for a, I'll be laying there a million years from now. Dead. He's totally bleached now. He's totally bleached now. Some guy a million years from now is like, we can tell from the skeletor structure that he was overweight.

Fuck. He was still on his fingers. What a person rot on the moon? Wait so. What did you say, Josh? Would a person rot on the moon? decompose on the moon? No, they would be freeze-dried. Yeah, that's more like,

yeah, that makes more sense. I was like, I can't fix it. Especially inside the suit where the sun's not even hitting them at all. They would just be freeze-dried inside there, like a mummy. If you died in the suit and it had, like, let's say one of those guys had a heart attack and just keeled over in the suit, the suit's

totally sealed, would your like internal bacteria eat you away, create gas and then eventually your suit would pop? Bubble up. Because there's not even atmosphere, pushing down on it? Like it would, it would... I don't know if the bacteria can even, like, thrive and live without oxygen.

Yeah, however much as in the suit is probably all your body's going to have access to, I guess. That makes sense. I would think they would poison themselves kind of like we had, like, that great dying in Earth's history where the algae or whatever created so much oxygen, but

oxygen was toxic to them, so everything fucking died and evolution got reset again. Thank God the oxygen levels went down. Because otherwise we'd have those horrible bugs. Yes, those horrible bugs are so scary. That's the scariest time from the past. Everybody's like, oh, Jurassic Park, man, dinosaurs would be rough.

Like, I think there was even during the dinosaurs time, there's probably like an oxygen imbalance that would be, you'd be lightheaded all the time. During that time when it was like 30% oxygen in the atmosphere or whatever it was, those millipedes, centipedes, wasps, scorpions, scorpions, spores, spiders were triple the size they are now. They were gargantuan. The bugs absorb oxygen through little ports in their body.

They don't have like lung systems like we do. So their surface area is determinant upon the percentage of oxygen and the atmospheric pressure that they exist in. So they got huge. I don't think it was the carboniferous. I don't remember the name of the period of time when bugs were a problem. But whenever I watched that,

I get a little creeped out when I see the like eight foot tall millipedees that are like a foot and a half wide and stuff like that. Like a dragonfly the size of a large hawk. Yeah. Because then like you could see their horrible bug faces with better detail. Yeah, like a zoomer. Yeah. Imagine a mosquito that was like. The size of a bird.

Like a foot wingspan or something and like a proboscis that hurt. Like it was stabbing you with the thing every time. it bit you. It wasn't some like, oh, I must have got a little skater there. Yeah, it's like excruciating every time. Oh, my God. I asked half a pint. I asked Chad GPT

what a body would do on, like how it would decompose on the moon. Because before I asked it, if you had told me, it actually goes away pretty quickly. It gets completely fully dried out, freeze dried. And then it just sort of turns into dust and blows away rapidly. I'd buy that. And if you said

it lasted a long time, I could see that too. So it does get freeze dried like Kyle said. It completely dries out. There are hot and cold cycles. Is it like, I don't know, heats up and cools off? I don't know why that would happen. Isn't the same part of the moon stay lit? Whatever. It goes through phases. So the bright side, there's not like a consistent dark side. There's a far side, but not a dark side. Really? Okay. Like when there's no, when we don't see the moon, the sun's shining on the other side of it, if I'm not mistaken. I think they have. I thought the same side was lit all the time, but I'm not sure enough

to say that anyone's right or wrong. The long story short, it would last tens of thousands, if not millions of years before it finally turns into dust and just gets scattered. Kyle called it. Yeah, it's not going anywhere.

That's one of the theories that like kind of a sci-fi thing, but they say that like if aliens did visit and they were going to leave something like, hey, we were here, You know, maybe they're here 20 million years ago or a billion years ago or something. They wouldn't put their monument or their signpost on Earth that has plate tectonics, weathering, and all that stuff. They put it on the moon where it would last forever, which is exactly what happens in Arthur C. Clark's short story that turned into 2001 of Space Odyssey.

Obviously, the monolith is buried on the moon. And when they uncover it, it's pre-programmed to be like, okay, humanity has figured out space travel. They have made it to the moon. Now we can activate phase two or whatever. Dude, I didn't know 2001 was based on an Arthur C. Clark story. That's great. It's called The Sentinel, I believe. It's about like a Von Neumann, like self-replicating alien probe.

It's explored more fully in the sequel that's not as good, the movie. That's like 2011 the year we make contact or 2001 the year we make contact or something like that. I can't remember. It's a Roy Schneider movie. It's not nearly as good. Isn't it disappointing seeing like, pop culture's idea from the past of how far we'd be now. Like obviously it was sci-fi back then, of course.

But like seeing a movie made in 1952 where it's like people traipsing around Mars in a dome or something. Right. And we're still just light years from that. Not even in the vicinity. We're not going to Mars. I really don't think we're going to. We need to skip over Mars and go to one of those cool moons that Jupiter or Saturn has. Or Europa or something?

Yeah. It seems like we have enough info from rovers on Mars that like this is as desolate a hellscape as the moon is. It's just redder. If you were going to go to Mars and stay there, you would need to be in a cave. You would need to be living down in a cave system. There's too much radiation on the surface. But just the trip alone, like we've had people spend like, I don't know what the record is, but it's around a year or so in space continuously. But they're in low Earth's orbit still protected by Earth's magnetic field from all. of the radiation that's just in space and all the solar winds, you would be kind of not an interstellar space, but interplanetary space going to Mars for six to nine months. We don't know what that'll do to people. And by the time they get there, if they go six months there and then you'd have to stay there for some amount of time before the next launch window to come back.

Because if you went there and turned around, it might be a nine-month journey back. You got to wait till Mars comes back around into that launch key. So you have to stay there for several more months, and then somehow or another you come back. So you're going to be spending a year in space in zero G, and then at least three months or something like that on Mars. I don't know what the gravity is there. It's like one third or something like that. Your heart, your whole pulmonary system, your brain, your eyes change shape when they're in zero G. I think they become oval and your vision gets all fucked up.

Like you might not be able to come back. Like if you came back after that trip I'm describing, 12 months in zero G and several months and one sixth on Mars, forgetting about the amount of radiation you're absorbing. It's like fucking X-ray every day or something like that for the next couple of years or something. Like just the zero-g stuff is going to change your body in such a way. Your bones are going to be so, you're going to have bird bones.

your heart's going to be, I think, enlarged or shrunk. I don't remember which, but it's going to be fucked up. Not ideally. And forget the neurological stuff, too. Like, you're crazy. You've been on Mars for six months. You've been in a capsule with like three other dudes for a year. You better be friendly.

Like, you better be best pals. Talk about gay for this day. I was going to make that same show. Yeah. I mean, that could be. I'm sorry, go ahead, Josh. I was just going to say that I remember I think it was Chris Hadfield talking about the mental

things that it'll do to you that astronaut Chris Hadfield I think was one of the ones that when he came back to Earth after not even all that long in space he kept dropping everything because he had gotten used to just being able to let go of it and it stay there and then he does something so he'd just be drinking his coffee and just drop it on the ground

the isolation made him crazy he came back with weird tattoos and a penis implant That could be our new death row, though. Instead of electrocuting people, we send them to space, see what happened. We spent $10,000 a pound to launch them into low Earth or not lower Earth or but I'm talking probably cheaper than death row. Zudum.

Yeah. It might actually be cheaper than death row if they spent 30 or 40 years on that shit. Send them to Europa, see how far they go. And then you really could be like a, yeah. Europe is so far away. Europa's, I'm guessing, off top my head. I bet Europa is a three-year journey, if not more. Is that much farther?

I bet it's more. I bet it's three to five years to get to. No, I bet it's more than that. I bet it's fucking, I bet it's eight or nine years or something. Europe is so fucking far away. We could send convicts. Like, this literally worked, and now Australia is a country. Like, think about that.

prison colony prevails we're not going to mars i hope what they do is they actually get that moon base like going where like i think elon's going to use his rockets to like land his rocket the way you normally see them do but then they'll lay it on its side and you'll have this cylinder on its side that can be like a module like obviously you know you live in that thing and how long did you get to get to europe i'm going to call it nine years okay chat gpt says five to seven okay okay i'm still a hell of a long journey like he says multiple times longer than Mars. Right. And then there's some other questions like launch windows and, you know, like if it's six years each way, is the launch window like twice a year or is it every four years there's a launch window?

I don't know. I know it. Yeah, because the planets aren't always lined up in a nice, you know, friendly way for us to do that shit. Most of the time they're not. Most of the time, it's a real cluster fuck out there. Everything's doing its own, you know, playing. by its own rules. So what are the moons of Jupiter like more closely sized to Earth

or? There's a couple of them that are there's a couple of them. There are these ice shell moons. So it's frozen on the outside and liquid ocean on the inside. Damn. And there's there are these geysers of liquid water that come up from

the crevices and the surface. And I think by the color of like the ice that's been exposed to it, they can identify amino acids. so they think that there's some dark salt ocean inside these moons that could have life in it there could be some sort of weird shrimps down there

or I don't know what nobody knows what hmm damn it but it's kilometers of ice and not it's not like two or three kilometers of ice I think it's like 20 kilometers of fucking ice right the ocean it's not like you're gonna land there and then drill like we

I think we struggle to drill into that Antarctic ice lake. I think it's called Volstock. The Soviets are the Russians. I don't remember which bore down into that thing, into this under, it's under Antarctica. It's this, I think it might be freshwater, but there's a, there's a lake underneath there. And there were fish down there. They had must have been locked down there for millions of years. Like a rogue species at that point.

Wait, maybe they weren't. I don't know if there were fish down there, but I know. Russia did that boring experiment where they just went as far down as, yeah, but not boring, cool experiment with boring, where they went as far down as they could. And I think they stopped literally because it got too spooky. During the Cold War, we had a lot of pissing contests with them, like in every technology in every field. And one of them was drilling a hole in the earth.

And they won. They drilled this absurdly deep borehole. And I remember when I was a kid. my mom was like or like the old wives tale was that they stopped because they heard the screams of people in hell. I remember I remember believing that as a kid like the rush was discovered hell they found it's real it's down there i am done working on this project too spooky the a lot of scream. The Kola

super deep borehole. That's it. It's the furthest down we've ever. 12,262 meters. 40,000 feet in freedom units. Thank you. I needed the freedom. Yeah.

In 1989. Oh, that was right near their end. Maybe they wouldn't keep going if they didn't, you know, collapse. It's still there. They just like, well, I think they bolted like a steel plate on top and called it quits. So was it like, seven? seven, eight miles, something like that down then? Yeah.

Almost that's insane. I wonder like how, I wonder how big it was. Like, was it like a, like, yeah, maybe that big, like a dinner plate? I bet it's bigger at the top. I just made that up, but I bet the top bit is, you know, extra wide. Could be. I don't know. I want to know what it sounds like.

Have you ever heard people drop rocks down those, like, deep boreholes? Yeah. And it like makes that crazy reverberation. noise. Yeah, like a bullet pinging sound. Someone at some point in Russia had to drop something down there just to... There's probably all kind of shit at the bottom of that whole people being curious. It's not hard of these to get dirt up here.

And you're dropping rocks in? I bet you'd get in trouble. I drop my wrench. Oh, fuck. You have magnet and rope? Dude, it's eight fucking miles. It hasn't even hit the bottom yet while we're having this conversation.

it. Not to be, you know, needy, but can I get my phone back? Like, no, your phone is now some form of lava. That's what I was wondering. If you're that deep, you start getting like the increased temperatures from the Earth's core, I wonder. I mean, you're close enough, right? You're still in the crust, right? At that point. Yeah, I think you still would be in the crust, but you're definitely still in the crust. The crust is very deep. But it's, it's, there's a formula for how many degrees it heats up per like X amount. of like like feet because I've heard them there's some diamond mind in in Africa and they were

showing how oppressive the heat was as they went level by level down deep into it it's crazy deep but yeah it gets hot down there yeah I feel like that's what I'd heard about it too is there's some kind of like a formula for it the farther down that you go it'll go up by like a degree per this many feet or yards or whatever it would be yeah yeah extreme heat about 640 degrees Golly. Fair night. So I wonder what kind of logistical issues they ran against, if it really was just because they collapsed or if it's because they were like, okay, that's about it.

That's, we can't go farther than that. I don't remember why they stopped. If they've stopped in 1989, it's because they were, you know, death store. Like, you know, they didn't have time for drilling. That was probably part of it. But yeah, 356 degrees Fahrenheit at the bottom of that. Yeah.

I think that what you got. That's what I got. you sure it wasn't Celsius? It says 180 Celsius. Okay, okay. Who's the fucking say? I don't even think I've heard that I have a number with Celsius before. I wish I called where it kept going.

The rock behaves more like a plasticy putty, like a thick putty down there. Oh yeah, wow. Yeah, I bet steel does too. For all mankind, the new episode dropped, I think. I don't know if it's the whole season or if it's just an episode. I saw it pop up on my feet. I haven't watched it. I haven't watched Invincible or the boys either this week.

I've got to do that tonight. I've been rafting so goddamn hard. But for All Mankind is an Apple TV show where the alternate history is that the Soviets beat us to the moon. And instead of throwing our hands up and saying we lose kind of like they did, we say, no, not on our watch. We'll get them next time. Like we'll beat him to the first moon base or we'll beat them to Mars. And like every season is that. like skipping forward a few years in time.

It starts out obviously around the late 60s when the Soviets quasi-beatis to the moon in this reality. And the last season, it was like 1995 or maybe 2002, somewhere in there. And so the new season is coming out now. And I think they're even further ahead. They're closing in on the 2020s, I would imagine. Maybe it's 2015 or something like that. But they've kept the same main character.

So they're like, the first American to land, on the moon is also the guy like going to Mars now and like being like a space cowboy because in this ultimate reality because that space race kept going and the Soviets and the U.S. You know, the Soviets didn't fold the U.S. and the Soviets keep like leapfrogging each other in technology. So the tech is more advanced. They're video conferencing in like 1992. Like they've got like CRT TVs wheeling around in the room and stuff with people's faces

on them. I feel like that's what would have happened. I feel like that's what would have happened. I feel like that's what would have happened. I don't think we would have thrown our hands up and called it quits. I think we'd have like shown up the first woman on the moon. Or we've got to get the first. Yeah, we just kept going and kept doing more.

Move those goalposts. Yeah, I mean. We just kept redefining victory. They kicked our ass in a number of things. We've all seen the charts. They lost a lot of people doing it. They threw away the safety manual and they went for broke and they did beat us. but along the way, they burnt a lot of cosmonauts alive, you know?

And it's funny, like, all of, we have these, these nice oceans around, so we can land people in the Pacific. The Russians had to land them in Siberia. And so they would land in the middle of nowhere, Siberia sometimes, because I don't know why, but they would. And so part of the cosmonaut kit was a gun. So when they landed in Siberia, they could defend themselves from wolves and bears

because you might be a while? Making it back from space through the atmosphere, gritting your teeth, and then eaten by a bear. Yeah. Like in the woods. Probably having at least once. It had to. And then the Soviets

don't even like give you a statue. Although they did give Yuri Gagarin a statue, even though he came back all crisped up. He knew it was going to be crisped up. He went up because if he didn't go, they were going to send one of his friends. He knew he was going to. I didn't know that at all.

Then he was there. Okay, well, he deserves that cool statue they made. He went up there and got burnt alive willingly because he knew that if he didn't go, one of his fellow like test pilot cosmonaut buddies was going to get sent up there. The photos of his corpse are horrific.

Wait, I think I've seen that picture. The dude was like a crispy French fry after that, right? Yeah. It's like when, when Voldemort dies. Well, he just turns dust.

Or maybe in that dream when he's a baby or something. he's all. Oh yeah, when he's down in the little crypt. What is that? What is that? The Harry knowledge is lacking, but yeah. That was a little dark, right? When, like, Harry sees what Voldemort's going to experience in the afterlife, and he's, like, an eraserhead baby.

He's, like, all bloody, and in, like, in a little satchel and, like, in suffering and mutated. Raw looking. Yeah. Raw looking, yeah. Why does he experience that in the afterlife? So, because he's an evil guy. Basically, what happens is evil people? in the Harry Potter universe, I suppose.

It's Harry and Voldemort like basically shoot each other at the same time and kill each other. And so they both go to the afterlife. But Harry gets to come back and, well, they both get to come back. Essentially, they're in the afterlife and Dumbledore is there because he's dead. Because he's dead already. Spoilers. And Harry's like, what's, he's having this little conversation. He's like, you're dead Harry Potter.

He's like, what's that? And there's this crying raw. maybe. He's like, that's fucking Voldemort. That's miserable-ass Voldemort. That's what he gets in the afterlife. He's like, you've both got to go back now to finish this fight. And then they both go back to their bodies and finish the fight. Also, in the Lord, his soul is corrupted.

He's got a corrupted soul for making whore cruxes. Yeah, yeah, the horrocks is. So he's just going to be sitting there flailing, I guess. Yeah, look at him. Yeah, there he is. Gross. That's a tactically placed thigh. sure is he's talking like a horse

so that crisp up guy that's not Yuri Gagarin that's another guy named Vladimir Kamarov okay my bad so maybe they didn't even get Yuri Gagarin's body back

I know I've seen some picture of a very crispy cosmonaut before so what that Yuri guy you're talking about what was the deal you know they just had the technology to get it up and they weren't sure if they could bring it back down

and so he was just like yeah fuck it I'm trying to to read through because I'd never heard of him He was a Soviet test pilot, cosmonaut. He commanded Voschkod won the first space flight to carry more than one crew member. He became the first Soviet cosmonaut to fly in space twice when he was selected as pilot for the Soyuz 1. So let's see, where's death?

Selected is the pilot. Said he was declared medically unfit, but the Soviets were real fly-by-night with that. it was like, no, you get on the, you get on the ship. Like it or not. As always, have a nice thing. Entire family. Space flight is so fucking scary. Like, I don't know what's, I don't know what's scary.

We don't belong up there. We don't, I don't know what's scarier being in space or being at the bottom of the ocean. I, Rogan had some guy who'd done both. He had, he had done, he had done both. And he, not only had he gone to like deep in the ocean, he had lived. down there for like some period of time. It like, I don't remember how deep he was, but he's pretty deep living in some sort of capsule in the ocean. And you've got to like swim down out of the capsule to shit.

And so like it's black as night down there and he swims down out of his capsule and he's shitting into the ocean and he just sees an eye in front of him. Like the size of a fucking saucer. And it's one of those giant groupers. Those things are as big as a cow. Apparently, groupers grow until there's not enough food around to keep growing, because those things, even near the surface, you see people catch enormous groupers. So big. Wait, so what did he say was scarier?

Space or underwater? Because based on that, it seems like underwater's scarier, because at least in space, you know, there's no, there's no creatures of the deep down there. Yeah, he said that was terrifying, the whole grouper experience. But, but, like, I'd be shitting in a bag for the rest of my tenure. They'd be like, you know, yeah. Steakie won't swim out and poop like everybody else. He smells awful. To add to it, he ate all the Mexican rations.

He ate all the fajitas in the first three days. Man, if they ate all the fajitas, damn it. Where did he get chilly? He brought it from home. Everyone else has, like, Bibles and books and things, and it's just you have fajitas. Yeah. Now, do you keep it hot? He brought an air friar.

Oh, man, we shouldn't have, you know, we shouldn't have had a raffle for this. Like, we should have sent trained individuals. You know what Pepsi we sold? This guy, he had the lucky cap. What can I say? It was this or the Harrier and Pepsi put their foot down. So we got to deal with this guy. Have you seen that documentary about the Pepsi Harrier giveaway?

I've read the story, but I haven't watched the. There's a whole Netflix. Yeah, basically, and for those of you who are younger, this might not even make any sense, but it used to be that on 20 ounce sodas, they would put prizes under the caps. They would do, like, buy one, get one free sodas. And you'd win regularly.

I remember, like, we would always get a 20-ounce soda when we went to the, like, store on, like, a lunch break or something, and you'd win, like, quarter of the time, it felt like you're getting a free fucking soda. Well, Pepsi won, like, up to their game. And they did this whole point. point system, I think. Basically, they advertised they were giving away a Harrier.

And I mean, they advertised they were given away a Harrier Jump Jet. They had a commercial where a kid lands a Harrier Jump Jet at his high school because he won it from Pepsi. Well, somebody wanted it. Seven million points. Yeah. Well, somebody farmed up seven million

points and they didn't want to give him his Harrier Jump Jet. So it became a whole legal snafu. It's a fun documentary on Netflix. Yeah, and if I'm not mistaken, I ended up ruling on Pepsi side, right? They were like, well, I mean, they never explicitly said they were really going to sell you this. But I don't remember how it turned out. He got a lot of money out of it, right? I don't remember how it turned out.

I think that he did get money, actually. I think he got a lot of money. It wasn't nearly as much as the plane would have been worth in theory. Yeah, I remember reading about that too. There was literally a Simpsons episode about this where Bart wins the radio contest. And they're like, all right, Bard, what do you want? Free tickets to the concert or an elephant? and he's like, I want an elephant.

I'm like, what? He's like, I'll call him stamp. He's still call him stamping. That's what he named it, right? He's called him stamp. Homer, we're losing our asses trying to feed this thing. Marge, he doesn't hurt anyone. He's killing Flanders.

Talked about it where. I can't remember what it's a historical thing. I can't remember which kingdom or whatever would do this, but when the king or the ruler didn't like you, he would gift you horses. or maybe you would get you cows. White elephant, maybe. Yeah, because they were sacred

and then you'd the upkeep on them. Maybe it is a white elephant, which now explains that whole Christmas game. Right, yeah. Yes, you don't want. Oh, my God. I never put that together, too. And so we're in the same boat there.

Yeah, so I looked at the Pepsi thing. Pepsi won. They said no reasonable person we considered a serious offer. They paid out nothing. They changed the commercials to from 7 million Pepsi points to 700 million Pepsi points. So no one would follow in his footsteps. You get 700 million.

We'll give you the fucking plane. It's by plane. It's cheaper. You can buy Harry. $25 million plane. You can buy Harriers? Yeah. I watched a documentary about a guy who wanted to buy it.

It doesn't come with the weapon systems and such. But apparently they sell them and they make sure the buyer is qualified. and he has to be qualified in two ways. One, capable of flying the plane. And long story short, he was that guy. He was a guy who could fly this plane. And then he also had to prove you could actually afford it

while you bid on it. And he got one. That's awesome. I know that like naval vessels sometimes get sold like that. I think Pepsi, I read this on Reddit the other day, Pepsi bought,

I can't remember exactly what the situation was, but I think Russia owned, owed Pepsi some money and they paid in battleships. Really? I'm like 90% sure that's what happened. And for a brief period of time, Pepsi had the world's sixth or seventh largest Navy. They couldn't pay him in cash.

They gave him like war vessels. Will it is this old striped gum. That's crazy. I'm looking up Harrier jets for sale. they're not listing the price. Of course not. If you have to ask, you're not the right people. If you have to ask, you can't.

If you have to ask what the price is. I wonder, so it's the jump jet. It's the one that vertical takeoffs takes off. I wonder how hard that is to do because that's an older plane. I doubt it's, and I guess it's fly by wire, but with the takeoff? Am I having to like balance this with like pedals and stuff like a helicopter? Or do I just like say? go up and it does it do 75% of the work for you or is it hard i wonder i bet it's not easy

yeah yeah helicopter's gonna be really hard pounds 105 pounds 105 pounds for harrier jet wait that 105 105 000 pounds 105 000 yeah it would be 105 that's i mean that's like what 150 dollars that's not what they're selling it for yeah that that's i bet those Those are like 10 or $20 million planes or something, right? Like, it's a harrier. He just brought the listing up and it said sold for $105,000. Was it operational? Good question.

Maybe he just bought a, like a $100,000 plane is not like a Harrier. There's no way you buy a Harrier for $100,000. You can't buy a nice Corvette for that. Like, you could buy an obsolete Corvette that doesn't run anymore for that. Yeah, if it doesn't run. If it's a paperway, that's a different story. If it doesn't have engines or like flight

flight electronics and stuff If it doesn't work then it's you know Kind of not fun Military jets Or even military planes like World War II ones Are really cool in the aviation world But they're so expensive to operate

That Normal people can't have them Have you seen that Beaum The Air Force has out in the desert Mm-hmm It's full of fucking F-14s and just anything you can imagine and they're all out there in that dry desert

so they don't rust and they're all capped up for like extra parts. But it's like, oh my God, you guys give me a few months out here. I'll piece myself together one hell of a fucking fighter jet. Like give me three of those broken down ones and that burnt one over there and I can take off.

Like, like, what are this running? You're just sitting there. You think you could Tony Stark it? I don't think I could, but I think it could be done. Like it could be done. You would absolutely want, I mean, the military aircraft. Abdul, where did you put super genius weapons manufacturer in the cave with the weapons? Okay, just to be safe.

That aircraft was not airworthy. Just see that? Yeah. Not a not a battle-worthy vessel. Yeah, I bet the engine out of it costs that much. or more, you know? Those things are expensive. I don't remember what they said the cash value of a Harrier was for the Pepsi thing,

but like the number 25 millions come into mind. I saw we've lost $2.2 billion worth of aircraft in Iran. That thing is such a mess. And I guess now we're just going to keep it like this, like the Strait of Hormuz's closed for a long time. Who knows? The Iranians are shooting at vessels? blocking it. Everyone wants

it blocked so I guess it's getting pretty solidly blocked and that's just our world now. There's no end of the ceasefire we just keep blocking it and don't make progress. As soon as Donald Trump isn't the president whether if J.D. Vance were to become president or if

it takes to the next election I just feel like all this is going to be fixed like whoever comes in is like hey, planet Earth, sorry about the last couple years. Let's fix all this. Let's fix all this. Let's do this better.

Someone is going to get a lot of kudos when they finally come and just act like a normal professional diplomat, like a normal president when they're not crazy. I see that meme on Reddit and I don't love it, but it's fairly true. They're like, it's a picture Biden and it says,

they called him Sleepy Joe because you could sleep at night. and I was like, I mean, you could. You weren't like worried about the world exploding. You were just kind of worried that like he wasn't really running the show anymore. And that was kind of, I'm not sure X's being in its back. Right? Like NATO is moving forward to this world where they don't depend on us for security anymore. Ukraine has just given up on America being an ally.

They clearly are sucking Putin's dick more than Zelensky. So like just give up. on this, the whole mineral deal, everything they tried to butter up Trump and be nice to them, Ukraine's like, forget it. I'm just done chasing you. I don't know that like, you know, Canada, are they just going to be, Canada maybe can forgive us if we get reasonable again. They are neighbors. But the idea that the world just goes back. All these countries are dependent on us for defense. Europe doesn't have a lot of military. They're mad at Trump. Like Trump is the problem. He makes things so personal. You've heard about how like he views situations as like,

like he sees it as like a deal between two individuals rather than a deal between two nations or or whatever. So like he has all these personal grudges and issues with people where and he says it frequently. He's like, yeah, I don't know. I know he likes me. And when people like me, I like them. And that's all that matters to me. That's his bottom line. It's like, do they like me?

It doesn't matter like who they are. It was his campaign slogan, Trump first, I think. That's how he runs. things. And so I think as soon as he's gone, as long as whoever comes next, is not also insane. I think it all will, I don't, I understand if people don't forgive, but I hope they'll forget a little. Do you not like see the hysteria in some of it, though? Like he's doing a horrible job on, like, indisputable. At what? At managing the country, managing our foreign policy. No, he's great. Disastrous. He's terrible. He's doing the opposite.

Yes, I see it. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying that he's so awful. This idea that like these European countries that for 80 years, since the end of World War II, have pushed off the responsibility for their own defense, their own ability to maintain like their position in the world onto the U.S. And we have subsidized all of them. And now people are like, oh, they're really getting serious about it.

It's like, can they afford? Can they afford their own militaries? Because I don't see them massively. them have economies that can see a lot of, I see a lot of, we're not going to do this anymore. Okay, well, where are your military bases? Where are your enormous militaries? Where's your power projection?

They don't have that. They rely on us for it. And we fund it. Germany has universal health care because we fund power projection on behalf of all of Europe. And so this idea that like, oh, it's like, oh, someone's being mean to them, so they're going to cut ties. No, that's glib. That's just not how we're not. talking about asking for them to chip in more for NATO.

I'm talking about literal personal attacks against people, like calling people ugly and fat in the news. He has ruffled feathers globally, not just once or twice. He's like constantly doing it. Like he leaked Macron's text messages to him. He's an existing foot in mouth. And if Germany had the capacity to distance themselves and maintain power projection and security,

then they might, but they don't have that capacity because they have existed on our teat for 80 years. I don't know about that. I think collectively Europe is trying to get off our teat, that they see the strategic weakness in depending on America for protection and how that makes them vulnerable to our whim. And they're like, this thing that we can't allow to exist going forward. It would be good for us if they did get off our teat. And they did stop forcing us to protect the entire.

Western Hemisphere from China, Russia, whatever. Like, how much have we poured into Ukraine compared to Spain? How much have we poured into Ukraine compared to France compared to Italy, compared to Germany, compared to the UK? Like, it's a joke. Proportionally, it might not be that. Proportionality doesn't matter. It does when you're trying to come up with it when you're writing a check.

Not when you're talking about great power politics and who actually runs the show. Well, no, because Europe bands together and like, you know, negotiates as one, therefore, you know, proportionally Europe and America, what, approximately comparable. And so is the donation to Ukraine, although I think we're slipping behind at this point. I don't know how much we're slipping behind. But the idea that like Europe after a million millennia of bickering, infighting, rivalries that suddenly Poland and Portugal are going to be tight and that someone in Portugal is going to go die for Poland, like that's that doesn't seem

real it like Europe's not a country the way we are like it's 42 countries or something and so it's it's some amount it's some amount it's some amount near that it's something yeah no one can know no one can know because when you count

you start going down then you go did I get Croatia did I not Boston and Herzegovina what the fuck's going on there it seems like France great France great Britain Poland and Germany in particular have all proportionally like chipped into this Ukraine thing big time, whether it's weapons or cash or logistic support or just like I know they go to the UK and they train

like their special forces. The Ukrainians do and stuff like that. I don't know. We're just so much bigger. Obviously France isn't going to give as much as we are. I don't know what France's economy is compared to the U.S. but I in my head I picture it as like, New Jersey and like two. It's certainly larger than that. And like two or three maybe more of those little northeastern States. A couple of mains in there.

Isn't France the second largest economy in Europe behind Germany? I wouldn't know. No idea. It's the UK be third in that situation? That would surprise me, but I'm not saying you're wrong because I don't know. Also, I did look it up. You were really close. 44 countries in Europe.

It's a commonly accepted answer. I could be even closer. It depends if they counted Turkey. So Turkey and Russia are both kind of split across. And Kosovo is not recognized by all countries. So there's no one answer. Huh. Oh, yeah.

Makes sense. If you guys were to visit one of those lesser-known European countries, what would it be? Like no UK, no France, no, Italy. I was about to ask if Romania is, that's European, right? I mean, yeah, Romania. What? I want to see the old country. I want to see some Gipos.

I want to see some fucking Gipos. I want to see a castle. I want to see some fucking scary. Do you go to Romania for the castles? And the Gipos. I want to go to Poland. And I don't know well, but I just feel like Poland's going to have the spectrum between like major metropolis cities that impress you and untouched like landscape and castle. countryside.

Yeah. It's going to have it all. I was actually thinking Poland as well as one of the less visited ones. Seems like a beautiful country. They actually have way more castles than Romania, Kyle. So if you're going for- The economy is booming and has been for a few decades. I think Poland is one of like the failed previous Soviet states,

but that is out of date thinking. That's like childhood woody. If you look now, they're one of the most successful European. And they're very prideful. They're very nationalistic. Like they're one of the few European countries that's like, no,

actually don't want Algerian fuck off. Like, no, we will stay Polish. Like, they're, they're hardcore about that. Very anti-immigration. They want to stay Polish. They want to do that. Maintain their national identity, I guess you would say. But they're also gigantic, like, in terms of European countries.

And so there would be so much to see all around Poland, whereas Romania is not a small country, you know, in the scheme of Europe. But other than hanging out with gypsies, Kyle, what are you going to do? Like the gypo is keep me busy. I'm going to do some coursing. I'm going to do that thing where they bet on where the dog's going to catch the hairs like I saw. There's lots of fun game with the gypsies. Like get your wallet back.

You'll never get this. Lots of fun traditions like sewing your pockets before you leave. I'll be all right. I see that so France is pretty comparable. France has 3.4 trillion GDP. Texas is 2.9 trillion. Texas is the world's ninth biggest economy, to be fair. Texas has a bigger economy than Italy, Russia, Canada, Brazil, Spain, Mexico, all those countries.

Damn, even Russia, huh? How's Texas compared to California? California has the world's fourth largest economy at $4.3 trillion. They were only topped by Germany, China, and the United States of America. And Germany is $5 trillion, and California, is 4.4 trillion. So not leaps and bounds ahead. Then obviously you do leap ahead with China's 19.4 trillion and our 30.5 trillion. But then also go GDP per capita, right? Like, even though Germany's a bit bigger than California, the GDP per capita is more impactful. Like Germany has, what,

85 million people, almost 90 million people. California does not have 90 million people. And so like the average Californian is a lot wealthier. than the average Sherman. Makes sense. Another win for the, for the USA. Hey, freedom.

I wonder where I ran is going. Do you think Pete Hagseth will get fired? Like AOC says, like only the women who are incompetent get fired in the Trump administration. The men get second, third, and four of chances. Yes, queen. So far,

my wife says stuff like, like, are more aligned with yours than almost any other politician you can name. I don't like her views on immigration or but I do like her views on the Middle East like I agree in staying out of that

and you know she'd probably give us all health care if she could and like what not give it to us but just have us pay for it all together rather than one at a time so that we can be picked apart like the zebra who left the fucking crowd yeah I mean I'm pro universal health care have been for a little bit. I don't know Mexico

is introducing universal health care you know embarrassing it is that both of our neighbors, we're just looking at their economies. They don't compare to a couple of our states. All those places have universal health care. I don't understand why. Will it be good in Africa? I don't know.

Will it be like good health care? I mean, I don't know. I mean, you saw wings went down there, had good results, so did boogie. They have these like in Tijuana. Maybe they didn't get all the stitches. That's on him. That's on him. Like he beat the

surgery on his own. That surgery was perfectly well done. He didn't get septic or anything scary, which is what we thought was going to happen or what I thought was going to happen. When I heard he was getting like a full-blown put you under bariatric surgery in Mexico, I was genuinely worried about him. I was like, I feel like you're flipping a coin here. Dambling with your life. I feel like bariatric surgery there is actually one of the things like dental stuff that they kind of like in and out like grind people through. Right. If I had like a dangerous tumor on my pancreas or something, I want, I want, you know, some U.S. doctor taken care of that. But if you just need to be tea. My airline needed a touch up, I'd go to Turkey. Yep. Oh, is that where you go? I've heard that. Oh, you didn't. Yeah, Turkey. Apparently everyone goes to Turkey. I think Logan Paul went to Turkey to get his hair fixed. Where did Greg Ducet go? Was that? I think he might have gone to Turkey also.

They're known for it. You're right. I don't know the lore. Yeah, no, I don't know why Turkey is like the world's best hair replacement place, but like it's as good as it gets and cheap. Okay. I've heard it's cheaper to get hair restoration therapy in Turkey than the U.S. Even given a like flight, two-week vacation in Turkey in a nice hotel, you're taken care of, all expense paid.

Like, that's how much cheaper it is. Like you're still making out like a band. it compared to go into some person than, I don't know, Iowa or California. I think they just made a breakthrough where monoxidil, which is Rogaine, when you used in conjunction with this other drug, is like many multiples more effective and causes like a large amount of regrowth in three months or something. Like it just happened. It's still like testing phase.

Like they're growing hair on mice with it. But when monocid. They're already covered in hair. I don't, I think, I wondered about that. I cannot believe we're getting away with it. They had a hair on this rat. But I wondered how that worked. Like, did you find rats with male pattern baldness?

Or did you start with those pink bald rats and make them grow hair? Right. The naked. I wanted to get like a genetic predisposition towards baldness, mice. Like they can just shop for that. I guess so. Mice have it rough. I was reading about some mice surgeries and like procedures and testing we've done.

Like something we did was sever some nerve in mice that causes constant unavoidable excruciating pain. And then we're like, hmm, well, it doesn't like that. It really seems to be agitated. And then you just like apply creams or injections or whatnot and you see what calms it down, which, you know, better that than, you know, a person. It depends on the person, I guess. But I don't care for animal testing. Yes, we put the mouse in the sock, swing it around.

And hit the wall. It hated. As I saw my dad about this the other day. It's like, I think we both like, like, we used to hunt. And like, he's like, I used to harass them, dear, Kyle. like I made it my mission in life to get him. He's like, I wouldn't shoot one for nothing now. He's like, you know, there was a wasp trapped in the pool the other day. I helped him out. I got him out of there. I like my animal testing like I like my meat, you know, out of sight, but delivered. You know,

it's important that it happens without emotionally scarring me. I agree. But also sometimes those clips come across your feed where you see the way they treat a lot of those pigs. And it's like, this is so ghastly and so terrible. Like there has to be a nicer way to raise pigs than putting them in these horrible cages and basically making them live in torturous conditions. Not if you want pork to be affordable. There's not. And the worst part is like the more you see pet pigs or rescued pigs and cows. You're like, oh my God. I grew up with cows. I didn't know they were cuddly puppy dogs

when you were super. Like, they would come up to you can't. They would come in like, well, they would come and they would eat out of your hand. But I see these cows on the internet. And it's like, they're like dogs. They're like snuggling with the person and like like like like clearly showing like affection to the person.

Like like they're laying on the ground together like he's like screeching the cow and the cow's looking at him lovingly like licking his hand. It's like, oh shit. yet. How many of these have I eaten? How many of these have I killed? Like, I've killed a bunch of cows myself. Like, I feel bad.

I didn't tell her-eds. My dog needs surgery. Oh, shit. $8,000. Shit. Oh, my God. Yeah. The vet's like, so, uh, this is Indiana bones.

He has a limp in one of his front legs. And I really couldn't figure out where the limp was coming from like his wrist it's like his shoulder and something in the way he's growing both shoulders need to be repaired apparently his prognosis prognosis is great prognosis thank you that's what i couldn't get to um it's gonna be great he's got to be fine and like everything's cool um we found this like orthopedic dog and horse surgeon which is just right for our great danes yeah and uh um it's it it's i i called it eight grand that she said 7,700 but you know work with me put some taxes on it and we're right there so uh that's i think next week and so they do like a full shoulder replacement or

what no i think it's like more mild than that like they just sort of trim something so that it stops rubbing in a painful way what lucky dog what a lucky dog right yeah this this second dog found himself under my protection, so now he'll get what he needs. What a lucky dog. Yeah, by... Good for you. That, that sucks, though. My God. Yeah, right.

That's so brutal. Just a surprise, eight grand. You know, this thing you've just become enormously attached to, you know, it'll die or live miserably. Yeah, right. That's like, oh, my God. Let me call up Blue Cross Blue Shield. Oh, no.

Okay. Well, this is... I would call the breeder and tell them that that happens. happened. Like, like, I don't expect them to do anything, but they did actually. But they, um, so our two dogs came from a litter of 17, which is a lot for any dog, but imagine great Danes. 15 made it, by the way. And that experience was rough on the mom. So that one's not being bred anymore. And then the grandmother got pregnant. And that experience has been rough on her. So now they're like out of the breeding business. Jackie likes these breeders. She's been following them for years. Like,

you know, our dogs, they're going to expire soon. Let's, uh, she's been sort of watching what they've been up to and when they have litters and stuff like that for some time now. And I've selected them like, you know, a while ago, years back before they were conceived. But I think they just sort of closed up shop because their dogs are not healthy for more babies. Well, Indiana bones better come to the table here and at least stop eating poo. We're a hot dollar dog now. We don't engage with things like that.

Yeah, you can meet me halfway here, brother. Dude, I've talked about how cuddly they are and how wonderful they are. And that's still true. I think it's not if you're standing, they lean on you. If you're sitting, they sit on you. They're always on you. And I just, I think that's great. Or maybe I thought that was great as they zoom past 100 pounds.

It's like, bro, stop leading on. stand on your own knock you down is there no piece like is there no piece when you and Jackie are like sitting watching TV

it's just both of you have a hundred pound animal on top of you basically happens all the time and they like to lay across my knees and fold them backwards so I like I preemptively put a pillow

under my knees because there's no doubt a dog is going to come and sit on them and they need some support you don't hyper extend mm-hmm and your knee backwards.

It's life with my dogs. Well, I'm glad he's going to be okay. Yeah. Taylor, you're talking about getting another gun today. You've been on a gun buying spree. I'm a little worried that you're about to make a move like Josh tried to that time. Oh, he said he committed to in writing that he had planned. Yeah.

Fucking manifesto on Roonescape. How a fucking, I'm fucking kits. It's a nerd manifesto. If he did that now, no jail. No, no, nothing. You could copy paste that shit onto Twitter, and it would just get a lot of upvotes or something like that. It would do perfectly fine.

But no, you got your AR-15. You've got your M&P Shield X, very nice 9mm pistol. I like it. And now you're looking at 22 rifles. Well, I want something fun to plink with, and I don't have a 22 rifle. And if you're going out there with people who, you know, aren't comfortable shooting larger calibers, that's just a great thing to have that everyone can enjoy.

Is this a gun for your wife now? No, no, this would be a gun for me going to, you know, shoot on the farm or something. But it might be a gun that you could do both, that you could, like, sneak her into your shooting. about, oh, I got you this, I got this 22 you could learn to shoot. Well, she likes guns too. And so it's not something I have to like push her into. I just, I was asking you about the 22 rifle options. And of course, everybody is always like, get a Ruger 1022.

It's the most versatile. It's reliable, easy to shoot, affordable, you know, super reasonable. But I just, I like lever actions a lot. They're very fun. They're so good. And so I'm looking at, I was looking at the Ruger 1022. And then I was looking at a Henry lever action, uh, classic version. And they're about the same price.

Like very, very similar within 2030. You looking at the brass one? I'm looking at, uh, yes, this one has brass, which it, it would, you know, you have to. I have that. I like it so much. It is in my top three guns, yes. top two, top one. I'm not really sure. Maybe second, I forget. It's a Henry. Yeah, yeah. It's the Henry Lever action with the brass. I don't know what addition it is, but it's cool. It's the golden boy.

Golden boy. That is it. It's a golden boy. And I have the, it comes with this sort of felt fabric that goes over the brass part. And it's almost self-polishing. Every time you rub it even a little bit, the brass gets nice and perfect again. And so I like sloth. that baby off and like I can fix my hair and the reflection of it. And and I said this on the show so many times, but like I think most gun owners, gun owners sort of cosplay is like a military guy or whatever. They wish they were a soldier.

Not me. I'm not stupid like that. I'm all cowboy. I cosplay with some leather chaps and a six shooter and a lever action. Like that's where my fantasies go to. It's supposed to wear pants under it. I'm the one with the guns, you hush. No, that's a...

Those three lever actions, because I've shot, I knew someone and I shot there's a ton in the past. And it's just, there's something so much more satisfying about doing the lever action between every shot than there is, because I've also shot 1022s. And it's a great gun, but it's just not as fun plinking when you're, you know, you're moving the action. every time. And I know Kyle's raising his eyebrow, but it's, I like a, I like lever actions.

Oh, I was going to, I have two dozen guns about. And, uh, there are three of them, though, in which I am above average in accuracy. I am an average shooter, but my Smith and West and M&P9, my, uh, FN 2000 and my Henry 22 lever action. Like if you said, Woody, you got to hit the target, I'd grab one of those. Those are the ones that, for, for one of those. That's the ones that, for whatever reason I'm better than I am with the other guns. Yeah. So you also have a Smith & Wesson M&P 9mm. The shield.

Yeah. I think mine might be older than yours. Like it might have been an update between our purchase times. But yeah, Smith and West and M&P 9 in the full size. Yeah. Oh, mine's the smaller one for like carrying, much narrower. And I like specifically, I was asking Kyle so many questions about carry guns.

and both Kyle, and I've said it, but both Kyle and my buddy who is a Marine, we're both like, I know you're obsessed with wheel guns and they're cool. Don't get one to carry. Get this, a that, an FN, a MMP, Smith & Wesson, get this, or a Glock, whatever. It's all price range. You know, like, it's like if you're going to spend $500, get the Shield X. It's probably the best one. Or the Glock 23.

I don't know my Glock's, especially not new ones. Like one of those is going to be the most bang for the buck. But as you go up that scale, like the gun changes. There's a $70. All right. We're going to go a different route. $1,000. You're going a different route at $2,500.

Well, let's get a staccato. That's where I would peek out. That's what I would get. I would get this staccato carry 9mm pistol. That thing's fucking from outer space. It's so fucking sick. $2,500. If I was getting a carry gun and I had a affinity

towards wheel guns. Like the Ruger LCR seems like it'd be on the short list. Sure. Yeah. One of those, but those are teeny, right? Yeah,

that's what I like it. Wait, it's not teeny. I thought it's a snub-nosed revolver. Yeah, it's the hammerless, snub-nosed revolver from Ruger. Oh,

it's got a nice grip on it. Like, the LCP is like so little that I feel like I'm really holding it with my thumb and two fingers. I can't really get my palm engaged on that, on that gun. And I've never been able to hit.

hit anything with it. But the LCR's pretty nifty. It's a cheap. Ruger. You know, Ruggers are cheap and affordable and they work. It's a lot of bang for your buck. But like I was telling you, like I recommend wheel guns to women for carry, like a purse gun. Because you're pulling something out of your purse and you're not a firearms like expert. If you're not going to train with this thing, then get an LCR because it won't snag on anything and it'll work. And you can just spam the trigger. And what attacker is going to keep moving forward after you've fired two or three shots at him anyway, right? Like 38 plus P.

Yeah, we're probably going to solve the situation just from the sound of this motherfucker going off. My grandma carries the whatever the LCR version is that Smith & Wesson has. Yes, that's a good thing. She has that as her purse gun. I gave that pistol to a girlfriend with a pink handle one time, a little 38, like stainless steel with a pink handle. But what I said was like, but for a man, someone who I know is going to like train with this thing and get a little autistic about like you'll probably be sitting at your desk like

reloading it and stuff like fucking around with like actuating the slide like like doing already been hearing that. Yes. Yeah. You're fucking around with it all the time. Like it becomes a tool that you're familiar with and good with. And so you want a semi-automatic pistol with as many bullets as you can fucking get in that thing. Like there's no amount of bullets. It's too many bullets. There's never too many. If I can't

solve the problem with the M&P shield X 13 plus one and that there's 15 plus one but that sticks out a little bit from the bottom. And that's that that's enough of a difference funny enough to be less comfortable. And so like I'd rather do the 13 plus one where it's a little less visible on my waistband. Yeah. You're probably going to hit him by the 13th shot. Likelier of carrying is a big thing. Like, yeah. I think, like, is an LCP a great carry gun? Well, not in that if you wanted to hit something that was tricky to hit.

Like at that, it doesn't excel. But as far as actually being in your pocket, like, it's super for that. Everyone I've ever seen, like, oh, I carry a 1911. Show it to me. It's not on them. They don't actually carry, and they just identify as someone who carries in 1911. I carry the LCP more than anything ever. I would put the LCP in my jacket pocket, like just in my like side pocket.

Like it would just be in there and my hand would be fumbling on it while I was at the movies or something like that. Like after that Joker shooting, we were going at, I know it sounds stupid, but you got to like rewind 15 years or whatever it's been. At the time, it was like, maybe they're just, maybe that's the new target. Set of schools, people are going to start shooting up theaters. I mean, we're all boxed in here. We're all mostly adults. if you pick the right showing, you know, like you, like, like that, the fire exits are right there. Like some psycho could come in here with like a couple of chains and a padlock and just bottle us all up.

And so like, I was like, I'm bringing my gun. I had my gun every time I went to the movies. And it was just in my like pocket with, you know, just right there. Like, and the LCP fits in there. Like it's smaller than a cell phone. It's itty bitty. It's wallet size. It's like six plus one, isn't it?

That sounds about right. Pretty little. I think so. Yeah, six plus one or five. plus one. I forget. Yeah, that sounds about right. If you're not a gun person, the plus one is to whether

or not you want to have one in the barrel. Right. Oh, yeah. Got a real hard trigger pull. You might as well put one in there. I had a, um, what are they called? You'd know it from Tarkov, Woody. What, what's, I can't believe I'm spacing out. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's like super,

Rip. Rip aunt, rip was great. Rip said it could help. They wouldn't even box their ammo. Just, just you like nodding got me there. Rip wouldn't even send me ammo in boxes. They would send Ziploc bags full, like stuffed into like cardboard boxes. And so they sent me like a thousand rounds of 380 rip. And I'm like, you best believe I'm carrying rip in my LCP. Somebody's going to have a bad day.

I always thought like, man, this was going to be. And after a while I took them out because I was like, man, I just imagine like if you got in some weird shooting where maybe you're going to get in trouble. And then you get to court and they're like, like, could you describe the ammunition that was in your handgun that night? What's it called? Rip? What does that stand for? I can't remember what it stands for.

It's like rapidly invasive projectile or something. Something scary. When you look at the bullet, it's exactly what it is. The bullet looks like something from a sci-fi movie or something like that. It's all sharp. It's a mean-looking bullet. When it hits something, it explodes.

Like, it doesn't just. just mushroom like a hollow point and make a big bullet that slowly passes through and delivers its energy into the target. It sort of sends these razor sharp petals in every direction and they break off and like do their own business. When we would shoot ballistics gel with it, it was like, oh my God. Yeah. You can see not only are they going to come part like flower pedals, but each pedal is segmented to break into smaller bits of. It's a cluster bomb of a bullet. It goes from a slug to a shotgun blast inside of you.

And you're also very, if I remember correctly, I could be wrong about this, they're very light these rounds and very fast. Like several hundred feet per second faster. Oh, that's Richard Ryan's. Oh, yeah, rated R.R. Yeah. Yeah. I did similar testing with these.

I don't know if that's, that looks like 45. That's 45. 45's real nasty. I was shooting that rip out of a Chris Vector fully automatic. And it's just, this is just a death machine. It just felt like so much power in your hands when you'd spray something down and see that you had, you don't just shoot it once per bullet. You shoot the thing like 50 times with each bullet and just destroy its inside.

It's real scary stuff. Well, I only got regular hollow point. That's what I'd rather have. Yeah, I need a ripper. No, no, you're good. You're good with what you got. How convenient is your shooting range? Very convenient.

Yeah. It's really, really close to me. Mine's not. Getting to know the people there and their night. There's a lot of shooting ranges around me. But the one I go to is actually a couple miles further away than the one closest to me. Just because I've shot it both.

And I just prefer the one that's a few miles further away. The people or the facility? What size is it better? The people are nicer. and the facility is the one closest to me like sometimes you'll go into gun shops and they almost have like a haughty like I know more than you attitude

and it's like I can't imagine like if you know I were teaching a skating class or something and this guy came to learn to skate I wouldn't be like you don't even know how to skate like I know like that wouldn't cross my mind it's just a it was a rudeness factor and that in my head the last time I left there which was years ago I was like I'm never patronizing this business again.

I will never buy a gun through you. I will never shoot here again. Like if I go with friends, I'm going to recommend the further away place. And so I've been going there a decent amount. Trying the M&P shield, trying my Smith & Westin, whatever,

sport three AR. And now I just got to, I just got to round it out, Kyle. I got to round it out with a 22 rifle because not having a 22 rifle. It's like, what am I doing? like that's that's basic bitch stuff that's crazy well it sounds like you're you really want the lever action so you know the Henry in that price range is the best but but man I love that 1022 because of all

the things you can do to it you could slap a little close range side on it and ping pink pink big big big big big big big big big like shoot things fast and accurate and do do drills or you can put a scope on that thing and a suppressor and it'll shoot yeah half inch groups at 50 yards like like all the bullets will be touching one another at 50 yards. I can shoot the tops off of paint cans at 50 yards, like just the nipple, you know, like it's, it's, and so for like shooting birds or squirrels or varmets, you know, at 50, 75 yards especially, it's just, and it cycles so fast. How do you shoot the top off a paint can? I can't even see that well at 50 yards. I can't even imagine what, how would you do that?

Are these different paint cans, the gallons with the lids that used the lever? Spray paint can. Oh, that makes more sense. I'm like, how do you get the lid off with the bullet? I'm not getting it. No, he's barely in the crowd. He's fivin. He just grazes it to get a spin.

Spray paint cans. Okay, okay, all right. You're just shooting the nipples off. I got a flare in the back and I'm just shooting the nipples off. So they shoot fire straight out. I'm going red, white, blue. No, I got a one gallon latex can in my head. It's just the wrong tool.

Have you tried to screw driver? I like the middle of the top of come off. The thing about the lever action, like I get you can customize the Ruger. That's awesome. But something that's a little bit of a benefit with the lever action, Henry,

is I don't want to modify that at all. Like I don't want to scope on that. I don't want anything that takes it out of that kind of old west retro feel. Like I want iron sights on that. I'm not using this to protect my house. I'm not using it for anything practical. I'm just going to be plinking.

And that's... I bet you get a bigger loop for it. I would. I would want a bigger, like, lever. Like with more hand room in there, like a rounded one. The one I'm looking at as the bigger oval one, because some of them have that kind of thin. My hand doesn't fit all the way in those.

The only one that I've shot in the past had that oval bigger loop. And so... that's what I would have to go for, I guess. I had a lever action 30-30 as a kid, and I liked that thing a lot. Like, like as a little, as like a nine-year-old or something like that.

But, and I like lever actions in general. I had a, kick on a 30-30, like, is it like, how would that compare to a moz into gun? Well,

it gave 10-year-old me a black eye. I remember that because they asked at school. It is a water, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a bit of a wallet, but I don't know if I compare, maybe like a light load of a 12-gage. like a light load of a 12 gauge.

Like it's, it's a good wallop. Like you get a hold of that thing. Plus, like it's, it's probably, that rifle had like a, probably a metal butt stock on it even.

It might have, I don't know, it was an old 30 30 30. It's a big fat 30 caliber round. And it's going pretty, similar to 30 out six, something like that, like in that range of recoil.

Okay. It's a good thunk. It's a high powered rifle, kind of. Yeah. They make lever actions in 45, right? They make them in 45. 70, they make them in like all sorts of funky calipers.

They make integrally suppressed 4570 lever action rifles that sound like a whisper. And they're shooting a bullet from like the custard days or something that you down a buffalo with. Weirdo calipers to be are a downside of like really old guns. And load them bitches yourself. That's what I've been telling Taylor too. First of all, hear me out. I always, when people are getting into guns the way Taylor is, I say, You start, it's just like a video game when there's a, when at first you can, you could buy the ammo or you could load it.

And you only save like, you save 50% basically. And the, and the entry fee is about $300. And so if you're going to be shooting a lot, like if you're going to, if you're going to shoot $600 worth of ammo ever, then this is worth doing. It just is. And it's not hard. And it's faster than you think. And it's kind of fun because you get to make your own custom. load. You get to decide what kind of bullet projectile you want, hollow point, ballistic tip,

boat tail spitzer, full metal jacket. What do you want? You want bronze penetrators? Stick them in there because you've got and you've got a book with these recipes. Counterpoint. I bet someone who makes their ammo and starts with the $300 investment you talked about, then automate some other part of the process and some other part of the process. And it, just like keep investing into making ammo more easily to the point where the break-even is way north of 300. What do you think? No. Like even the most expensive like progressive automatic loading systems are probably in the thousand to $1,250 ranges. As far as I know, I'm sure there's some more expensive stuff. Everything is like that. You can buy fucking 45 pound weight plates that are

eight times more expensive. I can double the price of the $1,200 one by getting a $300 one. and a $900 one on the way. You could do that too. But the $300 one is fine. That's a progressive, like every time you pull the handle, you make a bullet. And it's just a chunk,

ka chunk, and it's 50% savings, and you get better ammo. So you can make really light target ammo, you can make subsonic ammo, or you can make big, scary shit that they don't even sell at the store. Like the shotgun shells we used to hunt crows,

you can't buy those. You couldn't buy them. It was a custom, make. It was an ounce in three-eighths of five, six and seven and a half shot mixed in a specific ratio going nearly 1,400 feet per second.

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I was 12 to 14 or something like that. My dad was 40 or whatever. And we talked about this a few weeks ago when I was at his place. He was like, man, them things. beat us to death, though, didn't they? He's like, I saw you make the longest shot on a crow I've ever seen in my life with those shells. He must have been 50 yards away and you shot him out of the air. I didn't know any better than to not shoot.

I was 12, you know, but I would have these massive bruises that would cover my whole shoulder. Like, like, and once I'd beaten a bruise into, like, the correct placement of the gun, I'd move it closer to, like, my peck, and I'd beat that spot up. and then I'd move it over to like onto my bicep and beat that side of him. Yeah, yeah. They were incredibly punishing. But when you shot a crow, crows are tough. They're like, they're really hearty bird and they're smart and they often are far away because they're like parrots.

And you're tricking them in. You can't eat them. No, you leave them laying. You're there to defend like pecan orchards is usually our mode of operation. They're eating all the pecans. And when they come in, you'd shoot them. sometimes they come in really low and slow and we're all camouflaged up face face and everything you shoot a crow with those shells i'm describing at like 15 yards chunks of him fall he almost

explodes we're all i forgot to mention we're shooting extra full turkey chokes because we practice all day when we're not hunting crows we're practicing or shooting you're keeping that tight an extra full turkey choke you normally would never use for something like this because it makes it hard to hit the bird. You want a medium choke. There's like, there's like a turkey chook. Turkey chook's like extra full. And then small in that is like a full. And then it delineates a lot with lots of stuff. But right below that, I think it's like modified or improved modified both are things. Jesus Christ, this is worse than the imperial system. Oh, it's a whole thing. It goes from turkey to full to extra full to medium some way.

Yeah. And then to and then to improve cylinder and cylinder down below there. And then there's a bigger choke than a cylinder. There's a choke that goes outside the cylinder and then gets bigger. Why did they use medium if they were never going to touch large and small along the way? You know, the way you determine gauge is how many lead balls of the diameter of the barrel equal one pound. It's a good system. It's a terrible system. It's a terrible system. So a 12-gauge shotgun, you take 12 lead balls of the diameter of the barrel, it'll equal one pound. So a 20-gauge, which is a smaller thing, takes 20 balls of the size. So you can see the ratio, but it's, who knows how big that is. We have to memorize the density of lead and do geometry and algebra or something. Like,

get the fuck out of here. And then, of course, the increments when you're loading are grains. You know, like, grains are smaller than grams. I was saying you should get into loading your own ammo early because- Don't I need a whole setup for that? I get you going for like $350. Oh, that's something like that. And then you save half. It's 50% cost on ammo. I just, I'll reiterate. like 50% cost on ammo and you can shoot better ammo. Like you can shoot like you can do light target loads that you dialed in just right. Some guns shoot more like when you're doing a target rifle and long range shooting, one like different loads will be more or less accurate.

You have to find a recipe that works well with this rifle or the best with this rifle if you're competing with other people. So you can do all sorts of fun stuff. You can make scary loads, light loads, subsonic stuff. And you can choose what kind of bullet is. hilarious to listen to Kyle talk about guns because he just starts doing this like Bubba Gump shrimp but gun thing you can make light load you can make scary loads you can make hot load you can go full joke half joke medium joke turkey joke that's about all the

loads you can make yeah you know what I want to avoid are scary loads I love a scary load My favorite is a scary load Pushing that barrel to the limit Because I always wanted something That was going to kick the shit out of you And I only shot two or three things ever That actually did what I would consider

Kicking the shit out of you Like most things are just manageable Everything's kind of similar Everything's about what a 12 gauge is Well 12 gauges are very manageable Like if you grew up around them and are familiar Like it was interesting

Because 12 gauges of what I shot the most when I was a kid Like my grandma gave me a 20 gauge when I was like six But then like shortly after went up to 12 gauge for bird hunting and whatnot And I it took a lot longer for me to shoot rifles Especially like 30 30s or 30 out six or whatever And I always thought they would be more brutal Than just a 12 gauge just in my head Because it was like a progression thing where it's like well

like now you can handle this, now you can handle that, now you can get to the next thing. And I was always surprised when it was like, oh, this is like a 12 gauge, but less, you know, difficult. When I was, when I was seven, eight, when I was eight, what I wanted for Christmas was Remington 7007 millimeter magum stainless steel synthetic stock with a Leopold three and a half by 1450 millimeter scope. And I got it. And I was so, I was so fucking pumped. We went to Walmart and got those. 175 grain Remington bullets and eight year old me every time I shot it was it was It's a very powerful. It's a set it's a 30 caliber bullet, but it's a magnetum cartridge a ton of powder. It's a I would blow holes in deer and quickly realized it was way too much gun for me. So I loaded my own bullets and I made lighter bullets going really fucking fast and hollow point. I like picked out my own thing and so when I would shoot

deer. It looked like you threw a bucket of blood out the back side of them. Like you'd hit him with this 110 grain hollow point going 10 billion feet per second or whatever it was and it would just annihilate them. Just tenderloin ruined. The school shooter of Georgian Woods or something. He just got there with bad intent. He's not hungry. He doesn't need a pelt. He needs blood. No, we want to. We want to kills.

We were overlooking this meadow one time. We were up in this short pile of trees, and I was laying prone, and the meadow filled up with deer. Must have been like 12 deer out there. And I've got my, I think I got three bullets in the magazine and then one in the chamber, but I've got a bandolier on the buttstock with like 12 more. And I just started shooting. And because it's a meadow, the echo was going past the deer, hitting the trees, coming back at them so they were confused about where the shots were coming from.

I just kept going. I just kept going until I'd shot like six fucking deer or something like that. And that's like, whoa, whoa, stop. What are you doing? I was like, I'm going to kill them all. He's like, you can't kill them all. You've already killed three too many. I have to claim some of these now.

There's a whole problem. But yeah, we had venison. Did you just leave them there? No, that'd be incredibly like, no, I would never do that. Like, I was there to kill, but I wasn't there to waste. We would always get them processed or we would give them to someone who was going to eat them. We never let them like go to waste. They always went.

There was a Mexican guy who would literally butcher him in his backyard and just like feed his family with him. And then there was another guy who kind of the same thing, but he would make bags of jerky. And so we give him a deer. he'd give us like six big fat bags of jerky and like we would keep that going to the point where we were turning the jerky down after a while it was like we were all stocked up on jerky we're good forever how do you drag a deer out of the woods like i grab a belt for feet and try but like what do you do do wrap a belt around its head and and start walking they're lighter than than you think and they're you just pull it by its neck and like head and i guess horns

If it has horns If it's a dully Just wrap it around it We would literally Wrap a strap or a belt around them And just start walking Me and my dad I shot a deer one night with my bow

I shot it in the spine And it No no that was a different one I shot it It ran off a little bit Went and found it By the time we found it It's dark

It's nighttime now We're in the woods with a dead deer And dad wraps his belt around its head And I grab half the belt And he grabs half the belt And we start walking toward where the truck is is and we're lost in the deep dark woods.

And we've been walking for 15 fucking minutes. And every now and then I'd be like, you think it's this way, Daddy? You know, I'm not sure anymore. And we can't see the woods are so thick. We can't see the moon. We can't even find the moon. And finally we came out on a fence.

And I was like, where? We get to a fence and there's a field and an opening and you can see a road way over in the distance. I'm like, where the hell are we? He's like, we went the wrong way. we're like three miles the wrong way on like the opposite side of like a huge chunk of land or something like that. But yeah, you just drag them. They're not that heavy. Is that only at night?

Like, do you not clean them where they fall usually? We don't clean them at all. My dad cleaned one deer ever that I saw in all of our years of hunting. We would just throw the deer in the back of the truck, take it to where it was whether we were getting it processed or we were donating to somebody. and they would just take it whole. My grandpa would clean them or he would gut them, not the full cleaning process. Yeah,

he would gut them and pull all the nonsense out and then take it to the processing center. No, thank you. That's a smelly job. That's a gross. When you, when you, the first time I saw it, I was like,

I didn't know this much could fit inside the animal. You disembow a fucking deer and on a cold day and the steam is coming off in intestines. and that weird organ-y smell hits you. And if you, God forbid, perforate the intestines, I was going to say with your bullets, you were hitting gut shots a lot, I bet.

No, I've never shot a deer in the guts. That's a good shot. I've never had a deer. I've never missed a deer, and I've never had a deer run after I shot it. Did you, when you shot deer, Josh, did you clean it on the spot? No, we always took back to the can.

We have the hooks you put through their feet and raise it up in the air and put the bucket underneath it. Yeah. So now we never dressed it in the field. I remember my grandpa, the first time I ever saw anything get skinned was a raccoon. And the raccoon, my grandpa shot was like causing problems. And he was always, I guess, opening their garbage and rifling through it. And just being a nuisance, he'd tip over the garbage and it would get everywhere.

And that attracts other nonsense. And you don't want that. And he shot this thing. we weren't even out there for this. I was probably five or six. And he was like, boys, come out here. And he had tied this thing by the tail to a tree in the backyard on the farm. And I guess he had already made the around the butthole cut to tear it. And he was, and like he was looking at me. I was standing there maybe, you know, 20 feet away. You know, I had just, I was probably playing Legos or something inside. come outside and he was like take a look at this and then he grabbed it with his big gigantic farmer hands and just

in one swoop just just undressed this thing of its skin all the limbs are there and it's like then the skin was just hanging by the neck and I was I had one of those thoughts that you have as a little kit

where I was like I'm going to remember this like you know what I mean you have those thoughts where it's like I'm this is locked away. I'm going to remember this. And I saw that raccoon just hanging there with all of his skin inverted and around his neck and his front two paws because obviously the neck stopped it from pulling around the front two paws. I don't know what he did with that meat or anything. Probably just threw it back in the woods. What can you even do with raccoon meat? But you can eat it.

Isn't it rife with nonsense and parasites and everything has parasites in it? You just cook it. You know, the pork wheat has parasites in it. yeah but yeah I guess that's true I thought raccoon was like uniquely bad for that I wouldn't be surprised Armadillo carry carry fucking leprosy

I caught one by hand one time and they were like don't those carry leprosy and I was like no is there a hose I'm gonna I'm about to get a biblical disease from me A plague in this motherfucker. Did you kill Armadillo's, Josh?

We were, I never came across one whenever I was hunting, but my grandpa told me to, yeah, he said if I saw an armadillo to smoke that motherfucker. I killed a little. Shitty little animals, apparently. I didn't want to kill it. We were in Texas hunting pigs, and we were walking out in the middle of nowhere with night vision on, and I, me and Scott. And I had a AR-10. it's like a 308 calibered AR-15, a nice one. And I had a fucking laser on it, scope and everything, and we're walking along.

And we were on our guard because apparently there's like mountain lions there that could ambush you on the trail, especially when we've been killing so much stuff. So we were like on the lookout to be pounced on by a fucking big cat. And we saw an armadillo. And Scott's goofy ass said one of the stupidest things I've ever heard him say. He's like, you know, I hear a bullet bounce off one of them shales. And I just went, boom! And of course not, because what I shot it with would go through three fucking SUVs or something like that.

Have you ever heard wild like mountain lion cry in the night? Like scream out? No. I've never, that was the only time I've ever been like an area or a biome even that where they exist out in Texas. And then like here in Georgia, we've got. Bobcats, but I've only seen one in my life, and it was on that survival trip with Woody. It was the only time I've ever seen one. A bobcat is the same as a Cougar Mountain Lion or a bobcat?

I don't understand cats until they get really big. I swear. It's a much small. I can name a hundred breed of dog. Cats just orange and black. I know, I know tabby, and that's it. There's something called the tabby cat And then like you know Bobcat

Oh that's just like a 30 pound regular cat With a bob tail and a big scary head A leopard, a cheetah They're all just kind of cats Well They're all different though You know leopards Leopards have like

Super powerful bites and are more muscular And cheetahs are the fastest animal in the world They run like 70 miles an hour in the U.S., I don't think we've really got much outside of mountain lions, but I think Mountain Lions, Cougars,

and Pumas are all the same thing. They're just regional. I think they're all like regional flavors of one another. I'm not pretty sure. But they've got those all over the southwest and Mexico,

but we don't have them out here. I bet we used to. I bet they used to be in Tennessee and Georgia and South Carolina, but they just got murdered out. I'm sure they used to be there. I wonder how, cross-breedable cats are.

Very. Ligers. They make those Ligers, you know? But they should have Cheetords or something. I would love a Cheetor. Yeah. Maybe a Tai Chi. I like it.

I like it. I mean, there's Ligers, but apparently those are, they just have a ton of issues with like their bones and their muscular. Really? I thought they were okay. Oh, I thought they had problems. Maybe I'm wrong. But I know they're basically just looked like a gigantic lion. But then it depends if it's a male tiger, female lion, or vice versa. Like how it turns out, apparently.

I mostly know from Tiger King and Napoleon Dynamite. Pretty much a lion in a tiger mix, Bradford's Skills and Magic. Yeah. I like that. You want to be a tiger mix? I like that. You want to wrap on that? Yeah. Ligers. Everybody check out Josh's channel, link below.

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