Painkiller Already - PKA 802 W/ Scott Sullivan MMA: Micro In The Locker Room

Episode Date: May 2, 2026

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I saw my friend on the other side of the street. I was heading to school with the kids. I let go of mom's hand to wave. I had already forgotten their lunches. I ran over to hug her. She came out of nowhere. And then... It stopped.

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Talk more about that later, as always. Scott, I wanted to ask you, because I couldn't remember if you just told me this when we were gaming one night, or if we've talked about it on the show. But you had a very funny, like, viral post like a year ago or so where your wife called you about getting in an accident. And it was just a huge cluster fuck of, like, like inept cops, inept other people. They probably don't recall. Can you run through that again?

Because I was laughing about that just the other day. Yeah, I'm, I'm chilling here just like playing video games. And I get a call from my wife. And she's like, baby, I got into a crash. Like, she crashed like maybe two, 300 yards from where we live. I'm like, oh, boy, all right. So I get down there and it's a three car crash. My wife is sandwiched between these two other cars.

It's nothing like crazy. Everyone was fine. But like I walk up and my wife and my sister-in-law are just sitting there in the middle car. And I'm like, hey, what's going on? Is everyone okay? And they're just like, like, I, the only word I could think of would be like catatonic almost. They're just kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think we're fine. I think we're fine.

I'm like, okay, have you exchanged like info with anybody? Have you talked to anybody? She's like, no, no, no, we haven't. So I'm like, okay, well, we got to do that. And I go to the car that hit her and it's this like 16 year old girl. Same thing. Just like, yeah, I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay.

And I'm like, okay. All right. Well, let's figure out about the other person. I go over there. It's like a probably like 50 or 60 something year old woman. Right. And my wife is Brazil. The girl that hit her is Cape Verdean, which if you're not from Boston, you don't know what that is.

So three women all hit each other? What are the odds? And every generation is covered as well. They're all Portuguese-speaking women, too. Oh, okay. Oh, I thought for sure they'd be Asian. No, no bad. You thought wrong, Woody.

You thought wrong. My bad. My bad. So I'm like trying to just like orchestrate everything. I'm like, okay, let's all, you know, give each other, like, let's all give each other, you know, each other's info and all that stuff. And like, they did one good thing. They called the police. And none of them are listening to me.

They're all just like fucking sitting there like, uh, uh, uh, that's, that's just what's going on. The cops pull up out hops two more Portuguese speaking female cops. And I just look at this and I think to myself, holy fuck. this is a joke. This is a prank. I'm on a show right now. I'm like looking around. Like where's the fucking cameras?

And the cops walk up and they're like, okay, so what's going on? And like none of the women can get their story straight. That thing is happening where like someone is like leading the story. Like somebody who wasn't there, they're trying to be like, oh, oh, so this is what happened. Okay, I'm going to write that down. And I had to like be like, no, that's not what you told me happened, baby. like it was it was this thing instead and it was it was it was it was it was hell it was hell on earth I'm no longer afraid of of being a sinner and dying and going to hell because I've been there before

and it makes what makes me laugh when I remember that story you told is the picture you posted with it was that Matthew McConaughey like like smoking the cigarette looking just stressed as fuck yeah that what a nightmare that that was that was me that wasn't yeah you're looking gaunt that day yeah well at least your wife wasn't at fault like you how could you be at fault in the middle of it yeah yeah that that was that was a good thing and that's what she was like really afraid of was like uh um like was she was she was all good repaired her car you know moving on i've seen someone in the middle declared at fault before like oh yeah

Apparently they were supposed to leave more space cushion to the car in front of them. And it's kind of their fault that it casts a chain like it did. I don't agree. And that's actually why she didn't get blamed for it is because she gave ample space. And what happened was the girl that ran into her mistook the gas pedal for the break. Oh, she means she means to get the brake. She doesn't mix those up. Yeah.

It goes bang and then just like grinds my wife right into the next car. I'm just like, all right, well. You'd like see the tire marks where she had her foot on the brake, probably. How do you fuck that up? That's not in my like makeup to like ever mix those things up. But she was 16, right? Yeah, yeah. She was she was 16, you know, and a woman.

Yeah, she's just. I was like, I can only imagine that if you're first driving, which she was. I guess. I started driving before I was 16, like on the farm. I was always driving through the fields and around the chicken houses and the road from my dad's house to his farm was close. So I just zip through that. And if he needed cigarettes, I'd drive to the store and get him at like 14 or 15. And I was always backing up trucks to hook trailers up when I was way too young. He's back there like trusting me not to crush him between the truck and a cattle trail. Like, yeah, he's doing this number like to show me how close I am. You know? And it's, So by the time I got my license, I was very competent. But he taught you how to do it. Like this girl was probably doing the, the Walt Jr., where he'd have one foot on the gas, one on the brake. But dad, it's not how you do it, son.

He's like, dad, that's how I do it. And it's like, this isn't driving one of those fucking canes down there. Funny enough, that's actually how she sounded when I talked to her. That's what the old sound. That's that Portuguese accent. Yeah, that's exactly. That character sucked. Everybody hates on Skyler.

Walt Jr. Kind of a dickhead sometimes. Why don't you just die on Randy? I should have boarded you. Skyland kind of got on board at one point, didn't he? Did she? Am I crazy? It was almost like she tricked him, though,

because she's like, I'm on board. Let's do it. And then she gave that one dude, like a million dollars to pay off creditors. And that's when he's like, where's the money? Spazin. Yeah. But, you know, Walt, that was, like,

like the saddest also kind of funny when Walt Gio sets up that like Geo City's website and he's like dad look how many people are donating and they're just having to cheer him on he's like that's having to smile his way through that like pathetic moment I couldn't do it I could I'd be like do you know how much you've humiliated me son not just here but all over the planet with what you've done right here there are people in Bangkok laughing and how pathetic I am My friends are laughing. You don't think I could get money if I wanted money. Do you forget about my friends who are millionaires?

I don't want to sink to that level, son. And I start smacking his little retarded ass around. That would have been me. I want to tolerate it. I'd have moved out of the house as soon as I got that lazy hand job at episode one for my birthday. I'm going to tell you right now, I'd have left her pregnant and junkie with that crippled kid. And I'd have been off with Jesse living in that trailer in blood,

letting people and kill him. First of all, I'm 1,000% with Kyle. The lack of intimacy in that marriage would have me to fuck out. But I'm not with Taylor because Skyler gave that money to her a fair partner for damage control to keep her and Walt out of trouble. The IRS was about to come knocking and do investigation. And that was how she was trying to get the feds out of their life. But it didn't work because Dick had spent it on himself. All she had to do was consult with Walt about this whole thing beforehand because Walt happens to be a criminal mastermind with a network of underlings, each one with a different and more.

more necessary skill for this kind of thing. He's got thugs at his command. He's got Mike at his command who can make people disappear. He's got Saul at his command who can fix legal stuff and extend the, send the IRS on a goose hunt somewhere while we tie this all together. But she went off on the home. Initially, I was going to say, nah, actually she's the expertise when it comes to like matters of IRS investigations.

But it's like, what I hear is these guys need to be better partners because she is the expert in like IRS problems. problems. And he is the expert, he is the criminal mastermind. So they should have worked together on it. Yeah. He never watched that show. I'll tell you this. Ted would have used the money to pay off his taxes instead of spending it on himself. That's what they eventually did. They like forced him to pay his taxes. Oh, did that? Yeah, they're like, sign that paper. This is you pay in your taxes right now. They like forced him a gunpoint to pay his fucking taxes. I've never rewatched the show because all that stuff frustrates me to no end because when I see Walt being in many ways what I consider a very

obviously he's selfish in the end but at first he's defending the crippled son against the bullies I liked that and he's he's he's always faithful to his wife he's got that money stored and he's thinking about like providing for them for the future I admire all those qualities it's just you know I can't stand the family I can't stand how like not ride or die they are I need you to be right or die Don't you know I've got $60 million in a fucking storage unit? When he gave that speech about how if he didn't show up for work today, a business that could be listed on the Fortune 500 goes under, she should have woken up.

It's no different than in like Invincible or something when his annoying girlfriend doesn't understand that he saved Europe today. Your day plans got frazzled. I get it. But maybe he'll fly you to the top of Mount Everest tomorrow. Pack, you dress warmly and bring some O2. He'll take you up there right now, you've done business. bitch. He is a Superman.

Like if my girlfriend's Wonder Woman, I'm going to be so understanding if some dates fall apart. Oh, I saw you fighting the fucking green goblin on top of the World Treats. And I guess you won't be here for Fittatas. Like, fuck you. Fuck you. I would be so insecure if I was dating Wonder Woman. I know damn well she's leaving me for someone who's on her level the moment she can. The little bit of wealth I've gathered. Oh, those people I say there's a lifeguard. There's real impressive Woody. That's a fucking Slow day for Wonder Woman. And that's my whole life is a slow day for her.

I just, I know she's looking upgrade. What if you just get real toxic with her? You just like endlessly neg. Like, oh, you saved a school bus? Wow, fucking impressive. You know, my dinner ain't ready yet. What the fuck's wrong with you? Yeah.

How about you activate? So much shit for you? Yeah, I mean you activate a super scrub because this house is a big stye. Yeah. This is not weird. I wish I could get a girlfriend. and with laser eyes like Supergirl. Yeah.

Wow. So. I took a steak medium red. I saw you throw that car. You clearly don't have a super calorie burning though, huh? That's not in your repertoire. I think you'd be okay, Woody. See, she grew up on an island full of women.

So, like, the first men that she saw, or the first men that she saw, she's like 25 or 30 or something. Or I don't know what she was in Amazon years. Maybe they're like dogs or something. Is that the story? I didn't know she grew up on a, Private Island. Yes.

Yes. I've never seen the movie. Private Island, like she's one of Epstein's girls. Yeah. Yeah, they're like a Greek mythology. A female dominated warrior tribe of basically super women. I don't know if they're all as super as Wonder Woman. I get a little torn up.

Like sometimes it seems like they are. Sometimes it seems like they're not. Yeah. It seemed like they were. But she was like the LeBron James of the Amazonian. I think she's a lot. also like the queen of them too i think she's like maybe like the the matriarch of them all at this point or at some points you know there's so many comics and stuff so she had negged all the other

superwomen into into behaving you know women they're like crabs at a bucket they don't let anyone stand top this is brutal pulling each other down first thing they do when they get to the the real world is getting a car accident what are the odds are three amazonians and what accident None of you have insurance. You can't fly away from this one. They've got your VIN. Now they know these are invisible cars. Yeah, what Walt needed was...

What Walt needed was the... He needed the Ozark family around. Where the family in Ozark, he'd be like, son, what'd you do today? And he's like, well, one of these bumpkins threatened to tell on us. And he's like, really? Please tell me what you did, son.

And he's like, well, I killed him. and he's like, I'm proud of you, boy. And they're just the worst family on earth. I love that scene where, like, he learned how to money launder from his father and then improved upon it through software. I don't know if they went into the details. And mom was very upset. And dad was so proud.

That dynamic is fun. That's a way better show. It's a way better show than Breaking Bad, if you ask me. And I like Breaking Bad a lot. Yeah, I think it was arcs better. Breaking Bad frustrates me because of that stuff that we talked about. Like my first watch through it, I guess I was fine with it. But if I tried to do it again, I would be like hard sighing my way through so many scenes where I don't care for Skyler.

And I don't care for her character and like what she does and that she's not right or die with him. Because like, I'm telling you, if that was my dad and he was like, son, I'm dying. But I've acquired $50 million in illegal assets. Fuck. How are we going to hide this shit? Do you need me to kill mom? I'm just floating it. I'm just floating it.

I know you didn't bring it up. I'd be down. I'd be like, I'm certainly not turning my dad. I'm almost trying out to implicate me in this at all, but I'm definitely not going to rat him out and turn on him or anything. What, you're tied up with the cartel, dad. I better do exactly what you say every step of the way. Because who knows what kind of schemes you're running.

Also, the main guy in Ozark never has like a really embarrassing spaz out. where he's kind of in control the whole time. And when I've rewatched Breaking Bad, I have to fast forward through that scene after he causes that plane crash. And he's like on a screeching mic in front of the whole school being like, this is how actually only the 52nd largest air disaster.

It could have been so much worse. Imagine if the seats were full. And just looking around all the kids are sad. It's just, it's so uncomfortable. Marty Bird would have handled that, dude. Yeah, Marty Bird would have, like, donate. He'd have created a charity fund for all the families, and he'd have been, like, funneling money through it as well. Like, he'd have had a whole plan. I never watched the finale. I've never seen Ozark. Ozark is, like, breaking bad, except their money laundering for a cartel,

their Chicago family, they have to move to the Ozarks in Missouri and start opening up insane amounts of gambling businesses and shell companies and things to move money for the cartel. It's like Breaking Bad except there's no like long buildup. It's like it hits the ground immediately with like the guy's business partner dying. They immediately have to move. There's action right away. First episode or second episode they've had to move. And the kids are like, all right, what the fuck?

You just moved us from Chicago to the middle of nowhere. You're being all cryptic. you guys are weird what's up and he's just like well the cartel's forcing me to launder eight million dollars and if i don't they're all they're gonna kill us all and put us in barrels oh well we are all right or die marty bird because that's the kind of family that you have even though your wife was cheating on you the beginning she's gonna be right or die too everybody's getting on board because none of us want to be skinned alive and shot in the head and putting a fucking barrel and thrown in the swamp because that's what the cartel does like first step the first thing you see is

the cartel not fucking around You learn right away that they'll just kill you. They will absolutely just kill you. They have no qualms about that. And so everything going forward is kind of leveraged against that, that like, it's this or death. Anytime there's some like, oh, I don't know, should we hide that money and like beat these guys up?

It's that or death. Oh, yeah, that's right. I almost forgot. Let's do it. I like that Marty Bird is never the favorite. In almost any situation he gets to the entire time, he's never the more powerful person. He has to be the more clever one.

And also, you've got to appreciate some black colleagues. fans moving to Missouri and showing them what's up. Well, our team was better at the time. And it's still better now, only because they're the worst in the league and we're like the fourth worst in the league. I thought they had like some superstar young guy. They did. Bedard.

He's great, but they're still the worst team in the league because they're tanking very effectively, which is frustrating. They're going to be good again in a couple of years. Dude, I know we were just talking about TV. The NBA is changing their tanking rules. So it's, I'm going to foul this up, but something like the bottom 12 teams get into the lottery. If that's not it, it's close.

It used to be the worst you did, the better your odds of getting the higher pick were. And the bottom three teams, I think were guaranteed a top five pick. That shit is like flipped on its head now. Now you can't get three top five picks in a row. Even if your bottom team doesn't, even if you win, if you're just lucky, you can't get top five picks like back to back to back, which is how teams, like if you look at the dominant teams right now, That's how they got there. A couple bad years in a row through good drafts. Okay, cool.

The bottom, I think it's three teams have worse odds than the next like eight or whatever it is, the next six teams. They put two lottery balls in for the three worst teams because they're in relegation. You suck so fucking bad. We're punishing you for sucking this hard. And then the next like eight have three balls in the lottery. And then it goes back down to two. And the teams that literally like made the playoffs and got knocked out, they get one ball. I don't know enough about basketball and how their tanking must be egregious if they've resorted after this.

Oh, yeah. I was like the last two days of the season or something, there was like a lose-off amongst like six of the eight final games. Like they were trying to lose so hard. They didn't care. One team of their starting five, literally none of them were NBA players. One was on a 10-day contract. The other four were on like two-day, like, just picked them up off the show. street today contracts because they were against another team trying to lose.

And the players don't try to lose. Like you can't get the players to lose on purpose. So you just have to find the worst players you can find. And they're literally like picking up guys who weren't professional athletes the day before, throwing them in an NBA game and letting them get smashed. And they're going hardcore at this now. And you're going to have to want to win. That's a better system.

It might be. Hockey doesn't have as bad of a problem. so I don't think they'll have to adopt that. It made me think of, because you guys are all three of you big MMA guys, UFC guys rather, there should be some sort of like helping the bottom guys up in MMA. Like if there are 12 guys in each division or whatever it is and you're number 12 and you're trying to get some parity,

how about that guy gets to hold a roll of quarters or something? Like what whatever would be helpful or his gloves are, you know, armored, something like that. And you get a little more competitiveness, a little more... You mix in a round three, they give him a stick. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's entered the quarterstaff round where he gets to spin that around and beat someone's ass.

Ooh, it really shows he never trained with those nunchucks. You get one, you're the worst guy in the league, you get one shuriken, and the other guy can't pick it up. Oh. I don't like you. Shirkin, that's a ninja star, right? It's a ninja star. I don't do much, I don't think. I think kind of, what are they?

Oh, am I wrong? Are they effective weapons? You could fuck someone up with it. If you knew how to use it, like, I think they'd be quite effective. I think you'd get a pretty serious, like, three inch cut if somebody like hucked it at you just right in the midsection, right? They're like, a real one is heavy and sharp, you know. Yeah, it doesn't even have to be offensive. It could be like this guy gets a turn of the century leather football helmet.

like it could it could be something defensive that assists in that way shin bads I would be up for a freak fight on every card like when they get to the bottom of the card

and it's two no names I would much rather have a freak fight there like just a couple of big guys Japan does that they figured it out yeah there's some there's some promotions that'll put on those freak fights

and they're always entertaining I would much rather watch like the Fridge Perry versus like the guy who played Conan the Barbarians extra face off for three rounds than two feather weights I've never heard of

or something from Guatemala. I asked chat GPT like how effective they were. He said they're good for distraction and harassment because small cuts could annoy your opponent. Dude, even if you're like a big brawler. Oh, paper cut your opponent.

Joe Rogan. Oh. Just a hold of that. He's his head span. Dude, I don't care how it tough. I don't remember. It may have been an old Bill Burjo where he's like, you know, like, no matter how tough you are, somebody's pointing a BB gun at you.

You're like, ah, don't fucking, don't shoot that at me from real. Like if you're walking towards somebody in your position, you're like, ah, ah, like, you're going to have to cover up because otherwise you're going to catch a razor blade right in your chest. That's why I didn't really like the no flinching stuff. Like, if I pretend to hit you and you don't take any counterme, measures, that makes you tough. But why? Why is that like a sign of manhood? It just seems like if you had really good defenses, defensive instincts, that would be a better indication of how hard you were to deal with than not flinching at all. Yeah, it seems like flinching is you being like ready.

Like that you have a sensation that you would be quick. Like what is the like Scott, you're very well trained, but what is the lowest tier weapon someone can have? that is totally untrained, someone like me, where you're like, I don't think I can engage here. Ooh. Taylor Strong. I mean, I mean, for me, I'd say it'd have to be something that would cut me. Because I don't want to get cut. I don't want to bleed.

I don't want to like have like, you catch an eye or something like that. So like, like even if it's just like a pair of. scissors like something like something like like uh if it can cut me i'm like i agree thinking twice about what about a baseball bat and and you see that that's one of those things where it's like like the idea of it is scarier than the uh than the actual like what could happen to you because the thing is like especially most people don't know how to actually like use something like that they're going to take a big swing big miss they're going to have to stop it and it's like if i can make you miss that first one, I can close distance on you.

You know, and then, then what do you have? You have this long weapon that, like, I'm in this close. You're not going to be able to- We both have hands on it now. It's as much mine as it is yours. Exactly. You know?

Yeah. Now we're fighting over the stick. I think we've underestimated Taylor's strength. If it was someone else, if it was like, what weapon if you gave, like, my wife, would it be a problem? You'd be like, well, we had to talk about guns, machetes, something like that. But Taylor? I don't think I can pull a bat out of Taylor's hands. You know, it's not as much mine as it is his.

He's probably going to hit me with the butt end of it and be like, why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? You're like, I didn't even need those teeth. I mean, I don't know. He's not trained with a bat, though. If he pulled it out and like spun it around real fast and was like, yeah, nothing like a good piece of hickory. Oh, hang on a goddamn minute. I come out and I'm doing fucking Savannah banana stuff.

and I'm spinning it sliding it through like poke checking you're at in the teeth yeah no if it was like a like a person to me that was even

maybe a bat certainly like something less than a bat like a table is what we used to carry uh we saw this Clint Eastwood movie where he beat the shit

out of like five guys with an axe handle and uh and he said that line I just said he was like he's like nothing like a good piece of hickory and he like beats the shit

out of five guys outside the saloon and my cousin and we're like, let's go get axe handles and put them in our trucks. I was like, totally. I was like, would it be lame if we painted them? Not at all. Can we call ourselves like the renegades or something? No, no, no, no, don't be gay, don't be gay, let me get.

You're like in your garage being like, how do we get these pesky axe heads off? No, I think an axe handle would be. harder to deal with. You can swing it a lot harder and it's kind of shaped like a blade. You know, it's it's sort of oval oblong shaped. I've always thought a bat was a bad weapon unless you can swing a bat really well. I show up with one of those lightweight fiberglass axe handles. Like, what are you not getting it? The weight is the point. It whistles when you swing it. Yeah, I wouldn't want to have a stick fight with anybody. But a knife fight is the is the lowest on the totemful. I'm so afraid of knives and being stabbed and cut. I've seen somebody that's police

videos where the guy comes after him. I saw one where the suspect is kind of down the basement stairs and the cop is at the top of the basement stairs and the guy starts running up them. I don't remember what he had in his hand. I think it was like an old style like cartoon pipe. Like he actually had like a chunk of like three quarters inch steel pipe. He made it up those stairs through all the gunshots to the cop and hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious before they could shoot him enough that he died. Like he just ran through the bulls. bullets. Something like this.

I'm coming at you with this old, what are these called? We got these. The carambid? Yeah, the carambit. But I'm holding it like. Open the dog food. We got one of my pantry.

I'm holding it like this. Yeah. And I'm doing like starting screen stuff. Like leaning back and forth. Like yeah. See, now if you like flex your hand down, I can't grab your wrist.

That's true. Yeah. And I'm disembowl you. Oh, don't disembowl me. I'll give up right. away. You show me that. See, that's the thing. You show me that. And I'm like, whoa, I give up,

surrender. You want to tie me up or something? You want to punch me? What is it? Like, what you didn't see coming? Is this a turn from a fist fight to a foot race? You're like me now. You put that out and getting your, like, mortal combat, like, ready stance. And I start stretching my

quads. Kyle's, like, I was scared until that ice cream drug went by. I got through him for a loop. There's really not much you can do in a knife fight, too. Like, I actually, I actually won this thing in, like, a simulated knife fighting tournament. And I had never done anything like that before. And the only reason I won is because, like, 30 seconds in, I realized, like, oh, it's not about, like, whether or not I killed this guy with the stab. I just got to fucking.

It's just, like, it's just as many as you can get, you know. And like, you get to a range where it's like, you'd rather get shot than stack. But it sounds retarded, but like there's certain guns like, like, it sounds retarded. Like, it sounds retarded, but like there's certain guns, certain calibers that like there's a better chance of them passing straight through you with less damage than getting stabbed might do. You know, depending on where you got shot and like how, you know. No, I agree. I've seen some of those like slash. where the person is just laid open like a roast beef and it's like that is way worse than getting

shot with a little pistol or something like that oh yeah like it depends where you get shot i guess don't get shot the lungs or something i think they used to do with bayonets but i know it goes back to like the middle ages and probably ancient times where they would have those triangle shaped like spear tips because it's like impossible to like a like a long sharp pyramid it's like impossible to sew that back up. It doesn't, or back then, they couldn't sew that back up effectively compared to like a stab. Getting it out was hard. They had, in the middle ages, they had to create this tool that sort of goes in around the arrowhead and then expands and then also like grabs it like down here to like pull it out.

They had some like expert come in and create the tool to pull an arrow out of, you see the prince or the king had been shot in the head, I think in the eye or something. And there's an arrow like lodged inside of his head. And they had to make this tool to pull it out to save his life. Like they just created the tool. I'm sure people have been getting shot with arrows forever. But, you know, the king got shot. So they created a tool to pull the arrow out. It's a high pressure job.

Arrows are often going to shot with too. Like I've shot a lot of deer with like broadheads. It's a gruesome injury. The broadheads we used had these two blades that were held down by a rubber band. So when they hit the blades open up like this and it's like two and three. quarters inch or something like that across just razor blade going through you cutting your heart and half oh well that's quick though oh yeah your heart your heart gets cut in if i bet if you catch one of those in the quad it's a it's a complete nightmare yeah yeah you just got to like

come to terms with like this is my life now like maybe it'll maybe i can cut enough of it off because you've seen those like pictures of have you seen those deer that get like fungus or some sort of rot on their back legs and they're running around like on bones like jack skellington yeah yeah yeah yeah i've seen some gruesome stuff like that i've seen deer with most of their uh snout blown off i've seen deer with like missing legs um that that went on and like made you know lives of it such as they were i've been a lot of stuff like that it's kind of gruesome makes you i i used to love shooting deer but i don't think i would shoot one now if i could you know even i could bow hunt if i wanted to i don't care to. I don't want to hurt a deer. I don't feel bad about all the deer shot.

You'd eat it. You wouldn't just leave it there. Oh, I'd use it. Yeah. Well, yeah, I always did. But, you know, one way or another, whether we donated it or ate it, but I just don't want to hurt a deer now. That's worth it as long as you're not a dickhead wasting it. If you hunt and you don't eat it, you're kind of a dickhead. Like, I mean, as long as you have fun. As long as you have fun. Or if you're performing a service. Do you remember, uh, do you remember, uh, It was some dentist like a decade ago, shot a lion. And everyone was like, this guy deserves to burn in hell. And then like the Kenyan wildlife preserve came out and was like, you know, frankly, this lion was no longer making new lions.

And he was killing all of the up and comers. And it was causing the tribe to fall apart, their pride to no longer be able to like promulgate new lions. So we let him do it as long as he kills that one. We didn't say, go out there, have a ball, as many as you can get in the next half hour, like the Safari Zone Pokemon. It was like, no, you have to kill this one because he's killing all the adolescent males and we're going to lose the whole pride. It's the same thing for deer.

Like they get overpopulated. They cause car accidents. Like not so much in Georgia, I don't think anymore. But I know in the Northeast they have like a big deer population problem. And when they get overpopulated, I think disease becomes more of a problem. and then they can pass some of the diseases on to the other wildlife maybe or even people. I think Lyme disease like gets more serious when there's an overabundance of deer maybe. Definitely lots of car accidents.

Lyme, Connecticut is where it gets its name from. From the fucking deer ticks. That's a weird one. You get you end up that allergy to red meat. I think that's a, that's a lone star. I don't know if they're actually from Texas or if, you know, some guy was just like, it's a star. Let's call it that.

But yeah, those are making their way up here too, which I am very afraid of. Fucking fuck that shit. What is it? It's a lone star tick is what they're called. Oh, that is. Around in my world, it's always deer tick that have them. They're very small. I'm worried I have Lyme disease.

I got bit on the forearm. And then I looked at the like what bad. happens and they're like, oh, it has this little bull's eye thing, it can be two or three inches in diameter. I had a bull's eye, but it was less than an inch. I'm like, uh, that's, so I'm halfway there. I don't know. I don't know what the odds are. I grew up getting, like, when I would go hunting, you're, you're up in a tree, you know, leaned against the trees sitting there for hours a day. And I would wash my hair when I got home and I'd feel like, I'd feel ticks in there sometimes. There's no tell. I probably pulled half a dozen takes out of my head before. Like,

like, they were already like, lifetime. Yeah, at least. Yeah. I'm way higher than that. Dozens and dozens. Oh, Jesus. You may have the Lyme then. That's a lot of tick bites. My dog's never been bitten that many times. Lime disease is scary too because you'll go to like a doctor

with like some kind of issue and it'll be Lyme disease, but they won't know. And they like, they never think, oh, well, it could be Lyme disease. Let's check. You got any ticks on you? So like I've known people who they've gone like a year or two. just fucked up, like beyond belief. And the doctor's like, we'll run this test, we're on that test. I don't know, you think maybe you're making it up, you think it could be that. And it turns out they just... Was it a girl?

They always do that. Yeah. Crash cars, get Lyme disease. That's like a real issue. Like when women complain about like pain and discomfort, they get ignored compared to boys. Yeah. Maybe they need a tough... Never had that issue.

They cry, woof. Is that what it is? I think that's the process that led to that happening. Now, are they really crying wolf or do they just hurt so much more often? I don't know. I just want attention. I think maybe like doctors are just more apt to think it's a bad period and not like ovarian cysts or something like that.

I get a cold. I'm out of commission for like a week. Made a face. Let them do what they do. What sexism. It was like budget Tony Spraano you were doing. No, it's from that old clip of when, like, I think John Gotti had finally gone to prison and they started interviewing people on the street.

And they're like, he was the best, the best guy ever. And they're like, what about the murders? He goes, what murder? Yeah, that is true. They were like, can you do it more wappish? That's all I got. Mamma me. Yeah, you mentioned the deer tick thing.

Have any of you seen the like alpha-gal syndrome numbers going up apparently in the past couple years? So I don't know what alpha-gal syndrome is, but I choose to believe it's high school bully children. close hair pulling it's yeah it's where you get Scott have you heard of alpha gal yeah

Zach told us what it is it's the yeah it's where you get it makes you allergic to red meat uh and that sounds like beta not alpha Lyme does that

that's Lyme disease it's like a part of that like I guess the syndrome itself is distinct from Lyme disease. Like maybe the subsection of it that makes you allergic is like a part of Lyme disease potentially. I don't know. But apparently a lot more ticks with that are showing up all over.

And I got to tell you, I don't like it. I haven't had a tick in a while. But every time I see. So brave. So brave. You're against Lyme disease? Two thumbs down from this guy. I look at it.

I say no way. Oh, they're not the same. but they're both triggered by tick bites. Alpha-gal is a delayed allergy to red meat and mammalian products caused by specific tick saliva. All mammalian products? I didn't know it was that bad. No more milk?

I can't start every single day with a big old glass of whole milk anymore. I guess no more pork. But chicken's fine, right? They have feathers, not hair. Yeah, but like a life limited to chicken. Oof. It's all right.

Nice and affordable. but it's you know the flavor it's not up there with pork and beef i just got a marinated you'll be okay no i'll be get you marinate it in beef stock don't you don't you say that don't you say that don't you put that evil on me don't you i hope you get it what are italian salted meats are they mostly made of pigs uh mostly beef you got some chicken stuff though yeah yeah you can make chicken like stuff like this chicken like sausage turkey pepper So I guess you're not as bad as we thought, but that's still like, still. Oh, no.

You ever had turkey pepperoni? I've had a gun in your mouth. If I had to live on turkey burgers, I wouldn't want to live. That shit is so bad. Oh, yeah. Dude, if I got this syndrome, I'd be like, I'd be like one of those Indian guys I see on Twitter. I'm grabbing a live wire on top of a train.

I'm just going to end it. I'm going to dive into a electricity. I'm going to die. Oh, I think they see it as mocking them. I will show you. Just grabbing hot wires of them. I am the main character. And then like sometimes they'll be at the top of a phone pole

and they'll have grabbed like eight wires that I thought for sure would have killed them. And I'm like, man, maybe maybe the powers. Oh, nope, it's on. It's on. There he goes. And that you'll see like all of the liquid in the top layer of their body will vaporize real quick. And so there's like a dust. There's like a steam cloud that comes off of them.

And they just fall like a dead bird all limp. Yeah. And there can be like two dozen people around them close enough to touch when he falls off the top of the train. And they have the same like reaction I do. And I'm like, oh, Sprite zero is on sale. They're just They're just they They just

Would you look at that? Yeah Who would have talked? Fresh, Twice in one day Am I right? Like that's crazy. I'm scared of electricity.

Have you ever seen like a power line down? Like arcing that blue plasma fire? Yeah, you've got to stay there from that. It makes a noise like in the movies. I thought that was like a sound effect. It makes a scary arcing noise

and like, oh, whoa. and arcs and stuff. It's like snaps and pops, makes fire. It's pretty cool. We've conquered electricity. At least in this country,

nobody's fucking with lapwires here. Not deliberately. Well, have we truly conquered it if we're like afraid, though? I would say we've, yeah,

I guess that makes sense. I think that's actually the Chad moves to be like, I do not care. I am not afraid of this contraption. I will touch it and you will be amazed. After this, I'm going to dive into a one foot pool of water with a concrete bottom. I saw that.

I saw that on social media within the last week. Some, like, they're like swimming. And this guy dives into what is obviously like a foot of water, knocks himself out. He's like face down, drowning. And there's like people close enough to help. And they're like, where? Like, I'm like, get the let out.

There's no sense of urgency here. Woody would have had this guy fucking flipped out of there. None of these guys are lifeguards. They do not spring into action. Not ideal there. That's like my biggest fear is that like, like, I had a buddy who got hit by a car. And like, like, just the lack of urgency of everybody around. me that put that fear into me that like

I'm going to have a heart attack one day and I'm going to be like help help and people are going to be like oh dude are you okay hey hey hey why don't you take a seat and I'm like dude call an ambulance oh you want me to call an ambulance like

that's that's the one know what to do does anyone know what to do that time I collapsed at Walmart like that was the test right there sure enough by the time I came around the paramedics, the cops, they were there. You know, they were on the way. So people, people definitely were looking out for me.

So I know if I were to, you took down a sunglasses rack like a movie. Can you imagine the clattering? It was loud. I mean, I, I hit the ground hard. I presumably. I don't know. I was unconscious. You know what I would have done at that Walmart? If I would have seen you already being taken care of,

I think I would have stolen. It was like, you're back. You're getting cartons of cigarettes behind the counter. That'd be hilarious on the closed caption. All eyes were on me. That's the damn sure. It was a fucking scene. Yeah.

Then they could have at least given you some free sunglasses or something. I got that gatorade out of it. You know, somebody handed me that soda or gatorade or whatever it was. And I just walked out of there with that. Nobody asked for any. Free sunglasses. They could have built them for the sunglasses.

I don't think I broke any of them. If anything, I, like, one of those Patery Barn would have sent you an invoice. Luckily, I was at Walmart, so I could have, the whole thing could have been destroyed and would have cost $18 or something like that. But like, one of those pegs on the sunglass carousel poked me in the face

because I was a little bloody like right here. Like, they got kind of a scratch, but I like to think of you as being a brat where like you're coming to and they bring you like a blue catererade and you're like, I, do you have yellow? Yellow is the best one.

The best one. Yellow is the best one. Did they change the colors? It used to be the worst color. It's definitely the worst color for like the best taste, but the worst cosmetically. Oh, and only that. Like the, that yellow five or whatever they're putting in there is apparently bad for you.

As long as they keep the same flavor, I don't care. The lemon lime blows the pants off of what even is blue? That's one of the flavors that's just like like. I think it's just blue. Yeah. I like the light blue that's like Mountain Frost or something like that. Oh, no. No, no.

Boo. I also do no sugar. I do like the zero calorie Gatorade's. I couldn't do zero cow, uh, zero sugar. There's something about it. I taste a difference. Oh, it's definitely a difference. Yeah.

I mean, Gatorade tastes like fruit punch. It tastes a difference. Wow. I taste of all the A over here. Like that? Drink sugar. It's Stevie. Lexington.

See, this one does have sugar. Can you hear my teeth sticking together? I've got a warm summer down in Florida, I can tell. I remember this is a couple years ago we were talking while gaming, Scott, and you're like, oh man, I got to stop drinking multiple full sugar coax every day, but I can't switch to diet. I just can't? I don't like it.

Can you still not? No, I tried it for a week and I ended up tossing it out. I was just like, fuck it. How many sugar coax do you drink a week? A day even. I've been okay lately. I've been doing one. Like this one,

I just finished. That's the only one I'm going to have unless, you know, I'm feeling fat today. 20 ounce. I don't expect the 20 ounce. It's not bad. He comes up for the three liter that you can get a Sam's Club. It's been so long since I've had full sugar Coke.

I wouldn't even like it. I have nothing. All right. I don't drink. I don't smoke. All right. This is, this is my one thing.

Yeah, that's no big deal. Like one of a day is legitimately not a big deal at all. I don't think it's probably like 300 calories or something. 320 maybe. On a 20-outs, I bet it's not even that high. 200.

Yeah, it's nothing. That's fucking nothing. That's a light workout. That's fuel. 200 calories? How's a hundred calories? You probably have to run for fucking 25 minutes.

minutes or something like that. Dude, more I think. 25 minutes, that's one mile, right? Yeah, well,

three quarters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it would take a while. Yeah. I remember when I used to do the treadmill, like in college on occasion,

I wouldn't turn it off when I, like, would take a break and, like, put my feet on the sides. And I'd be like, you know, we'll just count this point a five.

The treadmill is horrible. The treadmill is like time traveling. It's like time dilation. Yes. Like it absolutely is. How long have I been on here? On the elliptical, I try to go into like a Zen state. I close my eyes and I like create a daydream.

I start like forcing myself to create a narrative, like imagining the future or something like that, make it a silly future. And I create a whole narrative in my head, like a story with characters and events and stuff. stuff like that. And if I focus hard enough on that with my eyes closed and the music playing in my ears, it's kind of like highway hypnosis. I kind of come to after like 10 minutes. And I'm like, oh, I don't have to suffer through any of that. I was, I was somewhere fishing, you know,

and I'll do it again and again, like trying to stay in that zone as much as possible. I wish I, it doesn't work that way for me. I'll try and daydream. And it'll be like, I'll start on my elliptical. And I'll start thinking. about how I would rob a bank or some, you know, common fantasy. And I'll plan like an Ocean's 11 style heist with dialogue. And it's like, a third of a mile. Like, what am I taking? It's like I'm taking that limitless pill.

Like, I can plan anything. And it's just, there's nothing worse than cardio. That's why you have to be tricked into it. That's why, like, pickleball and tennis and games like that are so much better. Like if you're keeping score or you're swimming, if you're tricked into thinking that it's fun, because it is fun, you can do a lot more. Yeah. If you're just goofing around the pool, I'd always like, what do you mean three hours have gone by and the water's getting cold now? And I'm so hungry. Why do my hands get so pruny? I just jumped in. And it's like the sun's going down. All that time, all those calories. And we just had a good time in there. But it is a workout. Just like playing like basketball with friends in a pool, just bouncing around and swimming and goofing about and wrestling and stuff. Like, you burned so many calories. That's why playing is better than working out.

Working out is work. Playing is playing. At least weightlifting is fun. Like, you're having a good time doing that. Like, cardio is just the worst. It's too bad they don't have, like, adult pool basketball leagues because that was so fun as a kid. It would immediately devolve into, like, really aggressive fouls,

dragging people underwater, like, borderline drowning. it could be anyone committing these fouls Kyle I don't know who the leading fowler of the league might be perhaps a 190 very disappointed adult by the pool resuscitating a little kid fucker who let that behemoth in here again in the pool shaving watching his victim

he's shaking a fucking booing knife over there how old is that kid dude I was like I was like juggernaut they tried I'd have two kids on both my legs. And I'm trudging because I couldn't make a shot to save my life. I'd have to dunk it. And then some kid grabs the ball. I got him by the ankles. I'm like I'm spinning him like Mario to Bowser.

Like just got to get possession. Not even keep the score. I was always a good swimmer. So I'd campaigned to put the hoop in the deep end. That was my domain. Oh. Yeah. Now you just hold my breath longer.

That was a thing too. like, oh, Taylor's stronger than me. Well, let's just go eight feet under. I'll weight him out. I'll be fine. That would work. Yeah. We never played in deep ends. That would be, because then you'd have to actually rely on shooting it. You couldn't just like power through.

Water polo, yeah. Yeah. I saw that clip of those Argentinian lady water polo players all stretching out today on Reddit. Oh, my God. Why didn't you become a Greece boy for the Argentinian water polo? style. That was your calling this whole time. Yeah.

They had a good one. All right, I'm a little distracted. Yeah, Zach, try to find some tasteful photos of the Argentinian ladies water polo team while we... I was going to say, I didn't see it. Yeah, yeah, I mean, Scott needs to see it. Someone killed a cameraman, though, because he was just a few degrees off of the angle I was looking for, waiting for, pausing for. Mm-hmm. yeah

plenty of right tasteful obviously goes without saying yeah that's one my favorite it's asshole behind thong oh I've never heard of that one that's believable

maybe like to tease yourself right Zach too tasteful to tiled down the tastefulness a little bit this is why we don't like you no stop

that guy on the right is like I love our job Yes, yes. That guy on the right. And that is special needs fellow on the left. Okay, okay. This gives you a vibe for what we're dealing with. What's good boy points you got for bumping off that psychopath we had on a few weeks ago?

You're running out. You're running low. Running low. This is good. This is good. It's so blurry. You can't even read the ARG on her jersey. This man doesn't have access to 1080P photographs.

It's the internet. Really? Because I went the other way. I'm appreciating the like the shoulder and the last. You're doing great. You just eyes going bad. Come on, we can do better than this.

Maybe you were saying. Kyle, you were saying that you were jealous of me and Woody having to wear glasses because we have bad eyes. Yeah. I think it would be very funny and I would agree to it. If at some point in the next few months you show up with glasses and we just don't address it. Oh, okay. Wait, there's no, there's no, first of all, those are, those are not straight?

And also, are there no frames in it? No, the, the dogs chewed the frames right out. Now I'm left with these, they're just for looking through. Taylor, are you so symmetrical that like stock glasses just fit perfect? Because I have to like bend them to adjust for my ear heights or something. they fit stock until like you know how they just bend over time you knock them off the table you do this you do that these are getting old enough now they're a few years old that i do sometimes have to very tenderly like do a an overcorrection bend to get them back straight but also i have one eyebrow that flips up

and throws off the whole facial symmetry so it just it just meshes into the i didn't consider that Because I'll have these exacting standards where I want them to be like totally even across both eyebrows. And to get that, I have to bend a arm to fit on my ear, right? Oh, yeah. But I'm never going back to the smaller lenses. Like, I've had the big lenses are the way to go. Better peripheral vision. Still not as good as contacts.

You look like a sharpshooter from 1982. It looks like one of those big-bellied guys who would pull the gun out and shoot it 15 times in 0.2 seconds, like Jerry Miculik or something like that, always had those shooting frames. Yeah, they're solid. Like, actually the ones Kyle broke out. Like the Ray Band, is that Wayfair? Yeah.

To me, the most attractive eyeglass shape. Now, mind you, like my sense of style is frozen at some point along the way. I'm with you, though. But, yeah. And then you know what happened? I had, these were just sunglasses, Raybans on. And there was a guy I knew who had a sunglass sponsorship. and sort of started getting into it.

And he's like, those are perfect for you. Those fit your face. He's like, I've become like a sunglass guy. And that's exactly what you need to be wearing. So ever since then, I've just locked in. I got one compliment in my whole goddamn life. And now I just, these aren't them, but I like Rayban Waifare style frames.

So I used to always buy them. They're like, you know, like $220 or something like that, depending on where you get them. But the dogs kept eating them. So now I just order these fucking like $20 ones off of Amazon. Like they ate like, $600 worth of sunglasses in like a year. And I was like, that's enough of that. So now I get these like $10 or $20 ones. They're polarized lenses and they're Rayban-esque. And I don't care when the dogs chew

them up. Expensive frames can sometimes be a rip off. I'm bad about leaving stuff laying around and the dogs like when Toby gets excited. Like when you come home, he needs something in his mouth as like, like he needs to be doing something because he's so like high strung. He's like, oh, you're here. I got to hold a shoe in my mouth. I got a hold of toy in my mouth because I'm just so over stimulated. And he'll pick up my glasses and take him off. And I'll see him over there, like, holding them down with a paw and like ripping them apart angrily almost. Just, just very spiteful stuff. Keep them on a higher shelf. Scott, do you have perfect vision? Are you 2020? Are you in context? No, I need glasses. I just haven't gotten them because it's, it's just reading stuff. So, you know,

I don't need to read. That shit's for, that shit's for pussies. So. Yeah. Orio has voice anyway. Yeah. In video games, that's the only place you need to read anyway. I'm going to read a book. People that can leave the house on accident and be like, I've forgotten my glasses. It's like, then you don't need them. Like, there's no world that I'm like in my car crashing into my neighbor's mailbox being like,

duh. Like, that's why everything's bleeding into everything else. All of these things were phases for me. Scott being like, I only need them to read. And I actually could. read it just took like a lot of concentration and pulling shit together and holding it at the right

distance and it was exhausting to read for any length of time so then i started having glasses just for reading and working on the computer to to now where i put them on like first thing in the morning yeah that is that that is that is that is something that's like uh bothering me lately is over the last like two to five years i've noticed like i look at something and it doesn't focus as quickly as it usually does. I'm just like, oh shit. I'm just waiting.

When I was like 22 or something, I used this really small font in my Excel spreadsheets or Lotus 1,2,3 spreadsheets, whatever I was using. And the other accountants were like, oh my gosh, how can you see that? And I'm like, it's a little harder,

but I like having all the information on the screen without scrolling around. Now my daughter mocked me about the font I choose on my phone. She's like, dad, this is ridiculous. This doesn't fit. But I like it big. I see that on my dad's phone too, where I'll be like,

this is bananas. Like if I were to say like meet at this restaurant at 630, it's like he's scrolling to get that. Like to get the entire message. And he's doing that. I haven't to hold it. Like people whose eyes go bad when they get, because he had perfect eyes his whole life.

When they go bad when you get older, they have to like hold it. further away. But when you like have bad eyes off the start usually it's the it's the near-sided. You have to hold it real close. If I don't want to put my glasses on because it's still too early and my alarm hasn't gone off in the morning and I want to check my phone, I'm legitimately like this distance from my face to read it. Jesus. Yeah. And I can go a little further away if I close my bad eye and I just go right eye. if I just rely on good old righty.

Would he be a liability in the zombie days? Like, would we always be kind of thinking like, hope nothing breaks to his glasses or we're going to have to eat him like the last guy? No, I'd bring all, I'd bring my spares. Just the one spare? No, I have. I think I have. Don't think of him as a liability.

Think of them as a delayed food source. Oh, yeah. Dude, think of my, think of the calories. Right. Do my thigh meat well marbled? You can put that. It's got enough. The last five years.

I'd smoke you. When the Quickey Mart start running out. I think smoking is how he'd like to go. Yeah. That is how I'd like to go. Yeah, I'm going to render out all that fat. I'm going to collect it in a pan underneath with vegetables in it, some potatoes and onions and carrots,

and they'll get all nice and crispy and delicious with your rendered by fat. Sitting there in silence, just eating it, you're like, I don't want to be the one to say it. It's kind of cheesy, right? There's a lot of cheese. There's a lot of cheese, free-range cheese, man. The last time I swallowed Taylor, he was saltier. Oh, God.

It was a secret. Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, sooner than later, Scott, because it'll accelerate. You're going to have to either pick glasses, contacts, or both, which people that get contacts late in life don't take seriously the, like, taking it out at night sometimes. And so they'll get dailies and be like, I wear my dailies for, 10 days sometimes and it's like you know this isn't 1992

like get monthlies. You're going to get a horrible infection. Yeah, I saw that shit where some lady was like I was an old lady and she had like 40 contacts that like slid like into the back of her eye or something like that.

And when I saw that I was like all right glasses. If I ever need them it's just going to be glasses, fuck it. And you also like, but if you're doing something active with glasses, you don't have to look like an idiot, you can put some cool crokeys on that connect the back of them around your neck and then tighten that and then everyone at, you know, the athletic event you're at is like, wow, that guy, that guy's cool. But you're also, you're going to have to be even,

you're going to be more selective about any sort of physical altercation because that's something you remember, like when your eyes are bad and you're wearing glasses is like, this is an extra layer of needing a gun because you can't like you can't have glass shattered into your face if someone hits it into your eyes if these get knocked off you're at a wild disadvantage like i'd have to get some of those some of those goggles like NBA players for in your pocket in case you have to get in a scrap dude i had those in first and second grade when i played pictures of that because that's when i played when i If I find some, they're never getting out.

I'm going to be standing over my fire pit dropping those. One after the other. And I remember once, it was after a soccer game, and I hated them. I hated them because the other kids would sometimes make fun. Imagine that. It was more just a point and laugh because I bet my eyes looked fucking huge. behind those because they're like they're bigger than their sports goggles. They're not swim goggles. They're pretty large. And they were super uncomfortable. You'd have to wear them really tight.

And I left them in the parking lot and they got run over. And I remember like almost a sigh of relief where it was like, don't have to wear those anymore. And then I was able to get contacts. I was I was seven when I moved to contacts. So I got them early. Do you have prescription sunglasses? No, no. And I don't like those transition ones. What do you do about the glare bear? I said squint.

Fuck you. What are you, Clint Eastwood? I mean, that's, I don't like the transitions. I'm not going to bring two pairs of glasses everywhere. It's been so long since I've been outside without sunglasses that now when I have to do, it's debilitating. When I went to prison, I couldn't get commissary for the first week. And I was like, oh, God. It's so bright.

It took me a week to get sunglasses. I can't take it. I got to skim it a lot in like the real deal sun, like playing golf in the morning or something because my, the same reason I can't get LASIC. I have thin corneas, which means I'm more light sensitive. And so I have to, I really got to squint it out. But it's better than those transition lenses because then you're wearing, you look like a dickhead. And they transition to full sunglasses. And then you go inside and you're like wearing partial sunglasses for half an hour.

I had a boss once that wore those and he'd like come in full dark sunglasses 25 minutes into the meeting he's looking at you like like fucking Elton John like with those those like partial transition by temperature then? No it's UV.

Yeah it's UV but it takes it's not immediate like it takes so maybe the technology's improved this was a decade ago at least but it it took a long while for them to get to clear. I think it's gotten better. My motorcycle helmet has a transition visor at least I got a bunch of eyes as I can swap out, but I like the transition one if I expect to have nighttime writing.

And I think it changes in two and a half minutes at the longest. Maybe he was a cheapo then, because these were, it was always astounding to me. Like, how are you not annoyed looking at this irritating gradient? Well, one issue I had was like in looking at people with these transition glasses is inside wouldn't be dark enough to give them full clear. So like they're in an office meeting room with slight like just a hint of tint. And I'm like, nah, no, no, no, no. That's not what we're looking for.

And he's like that hint of tint looks stupid. Yeah, it really does. I don't like it. I feel like Johnny Depp. You're not going to look like John. Well, you might. I didn't. I wouldn't.

I love that. When he's on this, he's on the stand with like blue sunglasses on. That guy's awesome. Is Johnny Depp a good actor? Yeah, he's a tremendous actor. Yeah. He's cool. Like what are his

So of course I know of his Jack Black in the pirate movies Pirates of the Caribbean Yeah Jack Sparrow Jack Jack oh thank you Jack Sparrow And of course he was good And he walked silly

And he maintained his character But You know It's not the kind of like dramatic acting that blows me away That whole character Like they gave him no direction He came in and he like did the thing

The like squinty falling over tipsy thing And he's like If you like it Or I don't do it we love it so they just accepted that as the role he's done a bunch of stuff I like him in Sweeney todd

obviously Edward Scissorhands he just did a movie like Louis the 15th or something like that it's hard to I'd have to pull up his filmography I always draw a blank when I try to think of somebody's like best works but I think he's a really good actor

you should watch Blow that's a really good one it's one it's one Is that on motherly? No, it's one of those classic gangster movies. He plays a real-life cocaine smuggler. And he goes to like great, he was really good at it. He's flying small planes full of cocaine and getting mixed up in all sorts of hygiene.

It's a very good movie. Oh, he was good in, he played Whitey Bulger in a movie, that gangster from like South Boston. I can't remember the name of the movie, but he was so, what was it, black something? Black mass. black mass he's so fucking scary in that movie they put these blue contact lenses in him to make him look like uh whitey bulger and they put the bald cap on him or something so he's got the extreme receding hairline and he just stares at people with these dead eyes he's so fucking creepy he's puts people in these weird awkward situations i like it when really attractive actors

take a role that requires them to ugly up like they just put their ego aside and like What was it rolling Tropic Thunder where Tom Cruise like negotiated on their behalf? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He played like the scummy like agent dude. Lex Grossman or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tom Cruise has never looked worse than he has in that role. And I like him a little bit more. That was all his idea. He's like, he's like, got an idea for this character. It's a little different than what you were pitching, Ben. I want to have big hands and I need to dance. And they're like, it's Tom Cruise. So of course we said yes.

whatever big hands means. Come on in. We'll work it out. We need to wear big fake hands with really just noticeably hairy forearms. So much it almost dominates the scene. Think Robin Williams. Yeah. And then step it up. And the dancing was great.

Like I watched that movie a few months ago. It's so good. And there's tons of actors in it. That's a really good movie. And Ben Staley got ripped for that. Like Ben Staler, I think of as like this comedic, Jewish actor. Oh man, like not a tough guy, but like he looks like an action star in that movie. He's all pumped up.

Oh, that's what you meant. I've seen Ben Stiller movie in fucking forever. Is he mostly retired? Ben Stiller. He's making soda now. And he's behind the camera a lot, right? Probably crazy. More and producing more.

Wait, oh, I think I heard about Ben Stiller's soda. I wonder if it's good. Pretty sure. Like, he did some like a marketing campaign for it and no. nobody recognized him. He was like standing in a mall. He's like, hey, buy my soda. Really?

Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. Buy my soda. Hi, I'm classic actor Ben Stiller. Oh, I don't know if you would like this guy. You remember Zoolander? Only 30 calories. I bet there's a, to you, a disgustingly low amount of sugar in this. Keep it away from me.

Yeah. It says no fake stuff. Only 30 calories. no biotics I don't know if I want biotics or not does Sprite Zero have biotics

because if he's going no biotics then I don't want anything to do with that yeah and I need my biotics I think I'm going to want those I got to talk to that guy one time he uh he was he saw my like FPS videos and had his agent

reach out to us and like arranged a phone call just to ask like what are you? He's like, do you write those jokes? Do you, are you Russian? It was like that kind of conversation. It was very funny. And then his production company,

I think it's Red Hour Productions. He like tasked them to help me with anything I needed. So I got to go out to L.A. and visit with them and meet all those guys. And then they helped us like with a bunch of stuff with some production stuff. Did you troll them at all? You're like, no, big joke is that I am Belarus.

Russian. Very funny, no. You freeze? Oh, he froze. Who? I'm back. Oh, who's back? But I got the last word out, so it was okay.

Didn't hear it. Yes, you did. Didn't hear it. I have no idea what you're referring to. I heard you giggling. Yeah, but that was at my own joke. You waited 30 seconds to giggle at your own joke? Try and get me.

to repeat a four out of ten joke. Fuck you. I have no idea. I'm sure it was a real neat clever. You just let it ride again. I've been playing that grounded two game. I think a new update just came out. It's pretty fun. I've only played like two hours of it, but it's honey, I shrunk the kids and you're just wandering through like this park and there's fucking ants and scorpions and spiders. And it's a little scary when the spiders attack you. I'm a little afraid of the spiders. They like hiss at you and their eyes glow and shit and they chase you down and they kill you right away.

But I've been having a good time with it. I kind of maxed out my raft. I got done with raft, beat all that. So now I think I'm going to do the grounded two thing. My friends and I kind of bounced off grounded too. You know, like it just seems like we were struggling to sort of get the basics going. We're running around looking for water

drops when there weren't any. Our greatest successes were getting ladybugs to fight on our behalf and it was just we went to something else. Yeah, it's a crafting, base building survival game. So there's a lot of like grinding for resources and unlocking new things to build and craft. By the end, you've got like full body armor. And there's like an acorn machine gun that you can man on your base that just like shoots acorns at the bugs when they try to raid your base.

We were like deep into Souls games at the time we picked it up. So the melee combat, like we were all kind of really sharp at it. we'd finally take down some fire ant or something scary. I don't recall what build the armor we want. But then it was a limited resource that wore out and was hard to get back. And it was, you got to build the hatchery. That's the first task.

You build your ant hatchery. Then you've got an ant to ride around. They call it a buggy. So you ride around your buggy. We didn't do that. I think we needed a tour guide or something. We probably weren't doing the right thing. I'm not it.

I'm still learning. I've played for about an hour and a half, but I think me and the boys are going to get in and do some tomorrow and I know scum and maybe you want to play. Probably get fish in there. Maybe it's my algorithm. It's almost certainly my algorithm on social media.

But I've been seeing people talking shit on smash burgers recently being like, look at how thin these are. These aren't real burgers. And then people will be like, that's so true. This isn't even. Look how thin they are. Can you imagine putting it? putting that on a big bun with a tomato and everything.

And it's like a bunch of people who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to smash burgers. And it's like you don't put one patty on there. You like double, triple, quadruple up on a smash burger because they're so thin and crispy. And these people are talking about it as if it's just one little wafer of beef. I've been making smash tacos. It was a kind of post that I was seeing where like, you know, you see something so egregious. that you say out loud or like,

you're like, these people, they're idiots. The algorithm found a way to trigger you. It triggered me. Yeah, I didn't like that.

My algorithm triggers me and it makes me absolutely bonkers. Navy SEALs giving their opinions on shit when they don't know their ass from their fucking elbow. I'm watching this fucking moron be like, did you see that Camaro in Formula One?

It smoked everyone. And I'm like, no fucking way. Did a Camaro smoke the form? the Formula One cars. So I look into it. It's not Formula One. It's like the 24 hours of Lamonts.

It's not a fucking Camaro. It's a NASCAR car with no rules applied to it like all the other cars have. Oh. And if you mean by a smoked them all, broken got 75th place, do you know fucking anything that you're talking about? You're fucking an idiot. You're a fucking idiot. If you were talking about breaching, clearing a room, might you're

is perk up. I want to hear what a Navy SEAL has to say about a beach landing or something. Like that's what you do. But everything else you talk about, you are more than stupid. And people listen to you because of your old job, get the fuck off YouTube or read a book. Despicable. It is good. We're always right. Yeah, they're like, well, I killed a bunch of people overseas. I killed a guy who had a really day. He had half an AK, but it's still fired kind of. And but I got him. I fucked his ass up with my not-vis. in my tank. And it's like,

it's one guy in particular. He has short after short after short where he gets all his facts wrong. And I'm like, I think he's rage baiting. I think I'm falling for him. Maybe he's not as stupid as he seems to be that he's stupid like a fox, just saying idiotic shit time and time again,

standing behind his Navy SEAL resume, which I assume is true. I don't know how to tell. And I think it's true. Like, I don't know them being called out. But just you are fucking moron. Stop it. Food.

I get triggered by food stuff. I see, like, takes that I really dislike. I saw a bunch of Europeans in the last few days being like, these Americans, they don't even have bread at their supermarkets. And I was, and it's like, and they were like showing a picture of a bakery. And then a bunch of Americans were like showing pictures of being like, actually, you know, we're a much wealthier country than you. We have bakeries in all of our grocery stores.

Here's one of them. and he's like, oh yeah, this is your bread. And it's like he's showing pictures of like the packaged bread. And he's like, you know, in Germany, this is actually classified as a cake. It is so far from bread and there is so much sugar in it. And then it'll be some American being like, you just owned yourself talking about your cake. Like we have a lot more than that.

that. Our entire bread options are not nature's own. You know, we've got, we've got all sorts of stuff there and all these euros are ripping on America. And it just, we have every bread option you could want. There's so much bread at the store that, that it's, it's almost amazing that they can have that much of a perishable item on hand at one time. There are rage baiting like I just did with the Navy SEAL dude. He says something is true. Like Subway bread, Americans don't have bread. that's not true. We have so many bread options. Like cake, near cake, not as near to cake, all the way to bread that you call bread.

Like, you name it. I am falling for it. This is like, oh, Americans, you know what? Not enough carb options over there. No, but Europeans really feel that way, though. They, like, like, they have this thing where because their countries are the size of like a matchbox. They're like, well, you could not put Hamburg on. a map, could you?

And it's like, tell me where Nebraska is. Can you place that on a map? Like, I'm supposed to know everything about their country. Yeah. You know it would be harder to find out a map, Mr. Germany, is your military. Oh, that might be a tough one. We'd really have to zoom. We'd just do some zoom.

And we know where yours is. Defending your little friend Israel. We fell down that lane once before. You know, there's one way. to stop it. No, they're, um, they're, they're talking about that like so many of our breads have, uh, like an absurdly hot. Why is there sugar in bread? Like, like a lot, there was so much sugar in the subway bread that they couldn't call it bread. I think in Ireland. Um, the subway bread stinks. I don't know. I like that cheesy bread they've got. I haven't

had it in years, but they've got some sort of like Italian rosemary cheese, cheesy bread. Something in herbs. Italian herbs and spices. Yeah, something like that. I don't know. I always get that one. Or I know, Italian urban cheese. That's what it is. But I haven't eaten Subway in probably a fucking decade or something like that. There were so many other sandwich shops came out with, that were just better, had better meats and vegetables that Subway seemed like a poor option. Yeah, Subway defeating Quiznos is crazy. Quiznows was so much better. I feel like I'm out of date on the fast food rankings at this point.

Like, I'm stuck in a time when Wendy's was like sort of quality food with simplicity. I'm not sure that's true anymore. And McDonald's was a reasonable option and also really cheap. That's definitely not true. What are the good fast food options today? Chick-fil-A is definitely still king of the castle there because their chicken still tastes really good. It's not dry like the chicken sandwiches.

You get other places. But really none of it has improved enough or even stagnated enough to rationalize these prices now where it's like why why would I go to McDonald's is the most affordable like Wendy's does these like biggie bags where they do like they do like a double cheeseburger a four piece nugget a medium fry and a Coke for like seven dollars or something and like that's that's pretty damn good. It seems like a lot of food. It is. Yeah. They're getting beat by the. It's like it's not a like double burger that are like quarter pound patties. there are those one 16th pound patties.

So it's a small hamburger. Yeah. But I've always liked their chicken nuggets. I remember when they introduced the chicken nugget, I think. The spicy sandwich used to be sandwich. It was the go-to forever, but they changed the meat that they put in it. And it's always got these like chunks of tough gristle in it. Like I think I ordered three times in a row and it grossed me out.

By the third one, I'm like, that's the last one I ever get. I'm not going to pay $8 for this sandwich again and then have to. spit it out and throw it. I was literally like spitting out pieces of it and being like, what is that? What is this? I'm eating. Like, I don't know how you find like chicken that's grisly, but they do. Yeah. And also the problem is all the lower tier fast food is now as expensive as the higher tier. So like Wendy's, McDonald's, Jack in the Box, all of those are now as expensive as culvers. Culvers used to be more expensive than all those, a little cut above. Now they're all trying to compete

at the Culver's price line. I'm just going to go to Culvers every single time. Like there's no reason. Kyle, you have Culvers where you're at, right? Yeah, it's really fucking good. It's like a Midwestern kind of thing. They do like fried cheese curds. They do butter burgers and they do

like malts and they do, what's the ice cream they have? It's different. It's every menu item you mentioned is less healthy than the one per se. Yeah, yeah. And more tasty, more rich. Yeah, yeah, you know. The malt shakes and then, of course, the deep fried milkshakes.

You want to have that. Yeah. You're one step away from being that place where they're like, stand on the scale and get a burger. Like Culvers is bananas with that. But they also live by the Chick-fil-A service rules where, like, you will never go to a cul-vers and they're like shitty to you. Like, you'll go to McDonald's and they'll do everything but tell you to fuck yourself and then give you your change. with the dirtiest fingernails you've ever seen in your entire life and you try and hold your hand under it but then they touch your palm

and they scratch you a little they scratch you a little you know the culvers is another like my pleasure thanks for being here that sort of place which is you know I just rather to be desired I just rather cook I've been making smashed tacos I take the the hamburger meat and put it in a plastic bag with a lot of taco seasoning and let it like marinate in that overnight. And then I do a smash burger basically, but then I take a corn tortilla and put it on top and with cheese between it and the burger patty and swish that down. And then flip it over and like fry the other side and the beef fat and then make a taco. It's so fucking good. It's so fucking good. That sounds really good. Do you make your own taco seasoning or do you like just

going El Paso? I make my own. I just make a whole bunch of it at once. So I've just got like a shaker. It used to be a taco. It's a taco seasoning like container that has my taco seasoning in it, If that makes sense. I can comprehend that, yeah. Yeah. Making sure you keep up. A container that you've, wait, hold on, walk me through it. Just trying to guide you through all the twists of turns here, Taylor.

Whoa, whoa. You're like Matt Damon fixing to do with doing that math problem on the board. Rain Man over here You can refill them That's over now Now you're your go-to fast food Scott I was gonna say I'm fucking jealous of you guys Because we have nothing in the Northeast

It's just like the big three or four We started getting Chick-fil-A about 10 years ago We got a few of those around now But like like I went to I went to Maryland right And I stopped in Virginia as well And I had cookout and I had, it was Hardee's. It was Hardee's.

And I was like, yo, why do I live in the Northeast? This is like, we got, we got nothing up there. It's like chick, chick filet in the Northeast would have to be my favorite. But then like anywhere else as of right now, I'd say Hardee's for sure. Hardee's is not bad. I haven't been to a Hardee's in forever. But they were always kind of a cut above the Wendy's, the McDonald's, below the Culver's. I'm sure below the cookouts.

The breakfast was always the best. Their breakfast was always the best of all the fast food places. Like if we were going to eat fast food breakfast before, like through a drive-through, it was going to be Hardee's every time. Get that gravy biscuit. I love the gravy biscuit. I love it. I never had, I don't think I've ever had Hardy's breakfast.

I've eaten a thousand of those gravy biscuits. They're so goddamn good. Is cookout just like a, no, I was going to compare it to a regional thing. it's just barbecue isn't it no it's everything i was first exposed to cookout um on that trip i took to woody's house that time somewhere in like north carolina they had one and i was blown away i remember thinking like this is the franchise to get into because this kills they have like everything like and they their combos are weird almost everybody does the standard combo of like a sandwich and fries and wendies kind of mixes it up baked potato and a small chili and stuff like that

cookouts like hey instead of fries would you like a cassidia yeah actually i would like a casadia how about some brunswick stew with that well okay yeah part of the combo you have to take the stew i mean i'm not turning it down i didn't say no twisted my arm i like and then and you're like where are they it's like look on the milkshake menu sir and there's a whole other menu 25 milkshakes to choose from. And it's like, oh my God, hurry, hurry, Reese's Peanut Cup milkshake, I guess. They have a milkshake menu with literally 30 or 40 different kinds.

And I remember the one thing that stuck out to me is like their menu design seems like an up, like a like a startup's menu system. Like McDonald's shit is fucking perfect. It's like that that shit was made by AI or something like that with these big colorful numbers and letters. Theirs was just like that old timey. like it looked like the scoreboard from the 40s or something like that these little fine print letters all the same font and you're just like squinting like fuck all of them look good that they i really think cookouts a great business model because they just do everything well you're overwhelmed when you go there the first and they like only have the money making stuff you can't

eat inside there's no inside to be to mention yeah they don't have tables or anything i went to one that did yeah the one i was at did what i've i've never heard of a cookout that had an inside and i've Richard and Virginia Anderson, South Carolina Okay Okay I didn't know that that existed In my

The only ones I've seen I've never had an inside to sit in And they have dual drive-thrues Like Chick-fil-A efficiency And long lines that move quickly Damn I'd have to drive to Tennessee Yeah To try a cookout

That's nothing for a Midwesterner It's really I didn't think anything Nothing that was there was like Oh this is the best burger I've ever had Or this is the best case of deal I ever had it was just kind of like the variety was cool and like everything was good like nothing was bad

but nothing really stood out except for that milkshake menu i was going to say the milkshakes are kind of top notch and also like it comes with a straw and a spoon and you suck on the straw and all it does is collapse and form a vacuum and you're like this straws for show right like we can't eat this with it with a straw it's like when you're 17 and you're high and you're like dude i just had a great fucking idea. What if instead of just burgers, what if we had McDonald's and Taco Bell is like kind of what the,

yeah, kind of what it felt like when I was in there. I found a ranking list. It says the best fast food chains in the U.S. Number one is Culver's. Number two is Chick-fil-A. Number three is in and out. Number four is five guys. And then they threw a Mexican one in there,

Del Taco. Oh, yeah, that's, I've held, had Del Taco. It was fine. What way is it the best? Is it the best to own or the best to visit? It says it's the best Mexican for a mix of quality price and diverse menu. Oh, so this is a customer's perspective. Yeah.

It's not that good. Del Taco is like average at best. They do taco. They do everything Taco Bell does, but worse. And then they do burgers and fries. That's Del Taco. Oh. So like I don't want burgers and fries at a,

at a Mexican place? I don't blame you, but they do both. So you can do like crinkle fries with queso and like a cheeseburger if you want or a taco or whatever. I've never thought it was that good. You were saying the Northeast struggles in the fast food game. I can see that. I guess I'd never thought about it.

But I would think there'd be some kind of seafood, fast food option that would be good where you guys are at since I know that. that and like Italian food although you can't really have Italian fast food just too messy but that's where you're at right fucking hey welcome to Guidos what can I get for you

they they put spaghetti in a paper sack like five guys it's like this is just a mess they really over overpiled this no no we don't we don't like unless it's one of those things where like

you know like a fish doesn't know what water is like I don't think we have anything crazy up here. We have, this is more of a North Shore thing, which like, you know, the Massachusetts, you got the South Shore and the North Shore where it's like Boston kind of divides the two. There's this place called Kelly's Roast Beef. That's kind of like, that's kind of like a local place. But like I said, it's mostly up north. I'm from the South Shore.

We just, we don't have fucking anything. Like I went to a Golden Corral when I was in Maryland. and that was like a life-changing experience for me because the only the only the only the only all you can eat stuff up here is like like road kill Asian buffet type shit oh yeah the idea that I could do all you can eat steak I don't care that it's like the worst cut you could get it's like that to me is like revolutionary we're just like not fun up here we just we just kind of suck honestly damn you got to move man well at least your real estate prices are outrageous yeah that's that's the best part you had a good 15 year streak with the sports teams I think that slowed down but you know hey we made the Super Bowl this year we lost but we made it

that's better than most teams that's true that's better than 30 of them now the socks are fucking killing themselves in front of us I don't follow baseball I didn't know baseball season had started until my wife she comes from a big baseball family like most people in St. Louis us where she's like the Cardinals are actually kind of overperforming.

It's like, all right. Are they? Well, you know, I don't, I don't really care. The blues are dog shit. Like going to baseball games is fun. I went to one last year and I was like, oh, I remember why this is a good time. Like you can go, hang out, go to Bush Stadium, ballpark village is right there, grab some food, get to get some giant burger, some giant hot dog, some of that popcorn in the box. in the PKK hangout

like in the first quarter Chocolate Thunder was talking smack about the Celtics beating the Sixers by the time the hangout was done the Sixers had finished their job I like I could tell because you're your shit talking slowly accelerated

throughout the hangout where you're like he was like you guys are getting rolled son and you're like wait hold on let me check the score and you're like they're down by four If this were hockey, it'd be a big deal. Cardinals are 18 and 13.

Better than they have been in recent years. Third place. But Boston guys are so used to winning that as soon as we start winning, we're like, oh, here we go again. All right, all right, it's coming home. That 2004, I think it was 2004, when y'all made that comeback against the Yankees. And the, was that with Kurt Schelling scratch that re-bled or something? It was the Kurt Shillian.

And then, what was Big Poppy's real name? But the big, big ass fucking David Ortiz hit that fucking home run. And they just kept scoring. I watched that whole series. That was the, that's a core memory for me watching the Red Sox come back and beat the Yankees. I watched every game, every night. And every time it was like a movie was being made. Every single one of those games, they'd come back and get them.

And it was beautiful. I loved that. Oh, yeah. It was special growing up in Boston for that. You know, like, that's the thing with Boston guys is like, that's their whole personality is like, hey kid, fucking, dude, dude. But like, it really was like crazy, like being born just in time for like Tom Brady, greatest ever. Pat's going to tear. Red Sox actually start winning again for once.

Even the Bruins had a couple. The Celtics had a couple. And like, I'm not like a huge sports ball guy, but like there's, there's like that's, that's, that's all we got. You know, we don't got fast food. We don't got golden corral. No culture. No golden corral. We can't afford houses.

Your higher education is pretty good. Yeah. If, if you're Asian. What do you have outside of Harvard? Where's MIT? I don't even. MIT's Cambridge, too. yeah yeah so you've got

Harvard and MIT that's a good start yeah Harvard MIT we got a B-C-B-U which like BC is more like that's like our attempt to be like NCAA sports like that's that's like that's like you know the the Eagles

but yeah we we got a we got a lot of good colleges for sure but like it's you know yeah football you guys are rough Boston College is one of those that if I see them early in the season that Missou gets to play them, I'm like sick. This is going to drive us up the top 25

at least a little bit because we're going to put up 62 against Boston because people just don't care about football. That'll make us look good by the time we play Georgia in week eight. Actually, Georgia is a team that doesn't punish Missouri the way it does some others. Missou tends to play Georgia well. We always lose, though. Yeah, that's not going to change.

Well, you say that, but sometimes we only lose by like three. And I'll check like the football Reddit, and the Mizzou fans will be like, oh, kept them close, kept them close. We're a real team. We can roll with these guys. And the Georgia fans will be like, this is a disaster. We barely beat Missouri again. Yeah.

Louis is going to be another good season this year. You know, I don't think that I think there, I don't think UGA will ever have a bad season again. Like they're kind of stuck into the, just people, they're going to always get good recruiting and. No, franchise is fall. Like Nebraska was as good as Boston for a while.

Penn State was as good as Boston. They had best. SEC football. I think it's going to be Georgia and Alabama 25 years from now. Nah. Now that everyone pays their players, SEC's not what they used to be. People are changing. Oh, God, I don't remember what state it was. They were trying to introduce something where like, it would be like, like, what's that money called, the acronym for it that the college players get now? And it starts with an N-N, right? NIA or something. Whatever that. Whatever that N-W. Okay. Yeah, NIL money. I think one of the states was going to make it like tax-free or something like that. And it's like, whatever.

like, oh, that would be such a power move. That's clever. I get it. I get it. That's a very Florida thing to do. I think it was one of the other southern teams. I don't remember. I read it like months and months ago. I don't even know if it went through, but like that would be a huge move to secure some recruiting. Yeah, as I process it, like Florida has no state taxes.

Texas has no state taxes. Some of those sports states have that advantage already. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I'm looking forward to it this year. The Braves are actually having a good year, but I refuse to watch. Like I said, they got to win two more back to back before I become a Braves fan again. Until then, it's Dodgers. The Dodgers and the Braves are having like tremendous years, though, both of them are.

I love your sports fandom. You'll be like, they lost. You'll be like, the Atlanta Braves are dog shit. You're saying this like four years ago, and I'll check. And it's like, they won in 2018. And you're like, well, what have you done for me later? That was a president to go. I've got bigger beef with them than that.

I just think they're a bad organization that never makes the right moves. And it's embarrassing because their market is way bigger than you might imagine it to be because there are no other southern baseball teams. There's Florida, but the rest of the SEC, let's call it, they don't have a baseball team. The Atlanta Braves are the team of all of Louisiana and Alabama and Arkansas and South Carolina and North Carolina. like Tennessee. There are no baseball teams in any of those states. So the Braves have a massive fandom.

You would think that they would, I don't know. Again, they're having a great year. They're like 20 and 11 or something like that. So we'll see. Yeah, but there's like 180 games or some 160 games in baseball. There's a lot of games. Too many. I don't know.

I like it. I like that there's always a baseball game on, you know. Like football, it's not like that, obviously. There's two or three baseball games a day almost every day. When I used to go to visit my great-grandpa as a kid in his retirement home, his old folks home, he was a Cardinals super fan. And I can't remember visiting him ever where he wasn't there in his little old folks' home room, like watching the Cardinals, like excited to talk about it. And I was like 10. And so I didn't have anything.

and I only knew hockey at the time. And so I didn't have anything to say to him about it. That was the same old folks home that when I was a little younger than that, probably seven or eight, that I would, it smelled weird in there. And so I would go into the old folks home and I would have my shirt pulled over my nose. And my mom would be like, Taylor, stop that. Yeah. Taylor, stop that. And I'd be like, I don't understand what you're mad about.

It smells weird in here. It smells like rot. formaldehyde. Like formaldehyde. It smells of decay. In retrospect, I'm like, oh, my God, those poor old people, seeing me walk through. Like, I'm, you know, trying to chop apart the elephant's foot at Chernobyl. I've heard those places get real raunchy.

Like, those old folks get old and they lose all inhibitions. They're just fucking like crazy. There's always some stud in there who's like 62 and slinging dick. Everybody's got syphilis and gonorrhea. Yeah, if you're 62, in one of those. It's probably because you have advanced Alzheimer's. And so he doesn't even, he's just hitting on everyone. He doesn't even remember the ones he fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Never remit. No condoms. You know, women's all done down there. Oh, yeah.

Even then. It's like you have, you have AIDS. And he's like, well, then I guess it's a race between that and the cancer. Like my money's on the cancer. Yeah. Start getting lumps on them like old dogs. Oh, geez. You ever pet someone's old dog? We're like, get over here, sweetheart, and it's just like braille. Oh, no. No, I've never petted a cancerous dog. Well, you don't know because of the fur, and then you feel it, and it's like there's problems.

No, I've never experienced that one. That's dark. I've never been to old folks home either. Your grandparents were never put in one on either side, and you never popped in? No, we love our family. it does seem hellish that like that like yellow like dropping them off at summer camp forever

they're 85 we put my we put my Nana in an old folks home and she had dementia and she was like paranoid and she'd be like she'd be talking about like I know that dog of mine gets around like

me and my brother sitting there like oh what the what the fuck are you a new the one with the tattoos dude you should have got more info out her be like yeah she's the kind of slut what did she do that made you the most mad yeah yeah that would you know that would have been the smart idea I was just so shocked like you don't be scarred by that those old people jibberings

No, my grandparents always just like got sick and died, you know, before it was time to put them away anywhere. My great-great-grandma Floyd, she was 90. Honestly, we didn't have a birth certificate. She said 92, but she could have forgotten a few years. She looked 105. She looked 155 maybe. Her skin was like that craft paper after you, like, crinkle it up a bunch of times and then smooth it back out. It was so thin and crinkly, and she dyed her hair black until she was dead.

She was so goddamn old. And she just dropped dead one day. And then my, my granny Gladys, Granny Gladys was in her 60s or something. And she got some sort of intestinal cancer or something. I think she already had some issue where, like, sesame seeds would get stuck in her intestines and create this whole fucking problem. I can't remember what that was called. But then she got cancer and just died. which no big loss there

she kind of sucked and then both my grandfather you say intestinal I genuinely don't remember and I was like my like actual fears I just don't want a cancer that is embarrassing

colorectal cancer or something yeah nothing that involves my butt please dude we gotta go get those it's time for another one you know I gotta get my first hose up the button what do you call it colonoscopy

Colonoscopy. Yeah, I'm about to be 40. I'm going to have to get that first colonoscopy. And like, for whatever reason, colorectal cancer awareness has hit an all time high. So I see it on my feet all the time. And I'm start, I'm like, man, is this a sign? Like, is this, is this like the universe saying go checked out, go get checked out now before it's too late? So I'm, I think I'm going to go do it. Let it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Maybe we get a two for one special. Yeah, we talked about that holding hands on. We farted up. Actually, I told you guys maybe didn't see it in the WhatsApp, but I told Chis to schedule double guests for next week in case I can't make it. Yeah, remember we did the drinking episode? Then afterwards, I had all that, like, bleeding and blood and whatever. Yeah.

That lasted way longer than I let on. Oh, dear. I'm like, yeah, so we're going to get checked out and see how bad I am. Maybe not. I'm not going to be tired. Don't say that. No, no. Yeah.

Yeah, fingers crossed, hopefully. It'll be an embarrassing way. I swear, I'm going to fucking jump off the parameder if I have rectal cancer. And here we go. Snap. If I get that, it won't even be embarrassing. It'll be because it's like, it's because of my diet. It's because of poor self-control and midnight pizzas.

Every time I eat a hot dog. Every time I eat a hot dog or process, I didn't know processed food was bad for you when I was 30? I really didn't. I really didn't. I mean, they would say it's bad for you, but they never Here's the thing. When you were 30, it was 2016. It was anyone's game. Trust me, it was like the 50s down here. They would say that processed food is bad for you, but I thought they meant in sort of a general way and sort of the way that like fatty food is bad for you. Like being overweight is bad for you. I didn't know they meant that like, yeah, processed food is directly linked to all of these can. answers. So now every time I eat a hot dog, I'm like, is this the last one? Is this the one that

tips me over the edge? Because I love them so much. I love hot dogs. It's okay, Kyle. You have nothing to fear. It's not as if you grew up in one of those agricultural areas with pesticides in the air and extremely high rates of cancer. I used to spray roundup and it would just mist all over me. I mean, I would spray it all day. Not just one of those little pump. Like I did some of that pump stuff where you got like a three gallon thing and you pump it up and you hold the wand. I had a tractor with like a 150 gallon tank on it. The PTO powers that motherfucker. You have a wand. It's got recoil. You're spraying reround up with so much power. I'm not even kidding. Like it's you got to brace yourself. You put both hands on that bitch like a like a shotgun.

Oceans of Roundup. Now, right now there's like legislation going on like whether they're going to put a cancer warning directly on that shit like a pack of cigarettes. It's so bad for you. They took it off. Oh, California had a cancer warning on it. AOC, I think, actually just shredded, like the head of the EPA over it. And they're like, hey, I saw you met with Bear. And he's like, I didn't really meet with Bear. She's like, is that the testimony you want to stick with?

Okay, I met with Bear. And you talked about Roundup? He's like, I didn't talk about Roundup. And she's like, are you sure that's testimony you're going to stick? Well, maybe we talked about Randup a little bit. And she's like, it says here that they donated to your campaign so that she would force California to remove the cancer warnings. Did that happen? He's like, no. And she's like, are you sure that's testimony you want to stick with? Well, maybe we talked about that a little bit, but there we are.

So yeah, now they took off the cancer warnings in California, which they used in their testimony against the Supreme Court. And then Bear sent him a thank you note, you know, for his actions, which is, you know, responding to their bribes. That's where we are. Is it? Is it glyphosate? Is that what it's called? Glyphosate? Okay, because I've heard people for years. That's one of the things that RFK goes off on with his tangents. He's like, glyphosate is even worse than bad pussy. Did they ever talk about like why his voices like that? I've always wanted that.

It's known. I forget, though. I don't. It hasn't always been that way. I thought he got like throat cancer or something, and it was the aftermath of that. and then we always presumed that the throat cancer was caused by HPV by eating some bad pussy. Yeah, I think he was rife with HPV.

Yeah, it'll get you. Spasmodic dysphonia? Taylor, I'll copy paste this for you. Well, I guess it would be... Copy past it into Google. I don't know what that is. Phasmotic dysphonia? Yeah, spasmodic dysphonia.

So, but that seems like a descriptor of the... the symptom of whatever caused it, right? Like that his diaphragm or whatever spasms uncontrollably when he's trying to talk. It's a chronic neurological voice disorder caused by involuntary, caused by involuntary spasms of the vocal cords resulting in a strained, strangled, and breathy voice. It is a lifelong condition affecting the basal ganglia of the brain. While no cure exists, treatments like Botox injections and voice therapy help manage symptoms. Hmm.

The RFK was DSLs. He would. They don't know how he got it. There could be a genetic predisposition. Sometimes it's tied in with other movement disorders or an illness could trigger it. But in JFK's, I'm sorry,

they don't know how he got it. We know what got JFK. That was obvious. Yeah. I found this. I found this in a coin roll. Somebody put a fucking egg. Oh, my God.

And now I hold on to it for luck. Literally. I'm looking through a coin roll because like sometimes they have silver in them and I'm like just looking and I'm like, oh, I wonder what that is. And it took me like 10 minutes to realize like, oh. Oh. Oh, okay, well, I'm going to put that one aside. Could be worth something someday. Yeah.

All those, all those Kennedys, you know, not a great luck family other than like the political dynasty. They just get. Is it a political dynasty? JFK was president for a couple years. And then Bobby Kennedy tried to run for office and like didn't even make it to it died running. Ted Kennedy had a long career. It's true. RFCs got something going on now.

And then Ted Kennedy killed that. that lady, remember, in that river or whatever. It didn't really hurt his career much. Anyone could have put on that in that trunk. I bet he'd have been able to run for president more effectively if he hadn't been connected to that dead mistress. Okay. I think you're right.

And then JFK Jr., obviously, Seinfeld guest star, went down in the, maybe in the Atlantic or something in his own play. Yeah, not the best pilot, I know. Yeah, I've heard that there were some issues with, someone tried to explain it once. There was either issues with how his plane was outfitted or how he, like, navigated or something. I don't remember.

Now there's that Ginger Kennedy where you can really, isn't there some guy, guy. His name's Ginger? His name's not Ginger, but he's a Ginger Kennedy. He's some guy, he may even just be, he's not a senator, he may even

just be like a Democrat congressman from somewhere, but he is a Kennedy. insulting redheads off camera. He thinks they're subhuman scum. I think they're super human scum. They don't feel pain like we do. They're like fish. That's why he's so good at him.

We're actually the next step in genetics. We're one above the average, the average. Yeah, you're preparing for the dark times when the sun goes away. Exactly. Yeah. Preparing for the dark times when the English decide they're coming back. They're coming back. That's straight.

They're going to fuck with the Irish again. I saw the king and the queen, I guess, show up at the White House. It's so embarrassing every step of the way. He speaks so well, and our guy is just a goober. And I hate when that gets juxtaposed. I hate when anybody is near enough to Trump that can speak well, because it really, you get the comparison. Would you be pissed if you were King Charles?

about what? About the fact that his kingship is, I've always thought this on behalf of King Charles. Like for decades, he must have been thinking like, this bitch won't die. And so now he's already full on elderly. And he's going to have a real short reign.

Like he's like, what is he 80? Like she basically stole his whole song and dance. I've had that thought too. But maybe he had a better life. Is King better than Prince? Like it's not like he was hurting for money or had to, it's probably just an easier job where he gets all the same benefits for half the work.

Yeah, but I don't know how much work she was doing anyway. I would try to wrestle some power back into the monarchy in the modern age. I think that'd be a big, I'd love to see that. Like if King Charles took a bit of power away from parliament and like maybe he became one of the branches of their government, like in more than just, you know, what symbol symbol symbol symbol he's got to do it now because i know the u k hates that current prime

minister or whatever like they they really don't like the current guy so he's got to capitalize do they always hate their guy yeah because that boris dude is like kind of a laughing stock in retrospect uh and i don't even remember who was before him but it just seems like it was that that mousy lady I can't remember her name. Starmers, the guy now, I think,

but there was that brief period where there was that mousy-looking woman. Yeah, she just went in and out, though. It was like one of our presidents

who gets dysentery 20 days in and then just, yeah. Yeah, their politics are weird over there. They're like super mean. And they're like, like way more than we are.

That's good. We need more of that. We need more rudeness. A little more theater. It forced them to be mentally sharp. You know, they go up there and joust in their debates, whereas ours, too many rules and too many, like, elderly people just hanging on to their jobs who are clearly just empty chairs. They also have problems just like Trump with being rulers with very noticeably goofy hair. You have Boris Johnson.

Do you remember his hair? And then, and I was saying all of Europe. Do he do that on purpose, right? Like Boris Johnson's hair. So Trump's, all right, his hair is silly, but it's exactly what he's going for. He's aiming at the bull's eye he's aiming at. Boris Johnson looked like he wasn't aiming at anything. He looks slovenly.

Yeah. He looked like he just woke. He looked like bedhead. Yeah. The way he would talk, didn't he like stutter in a weird way? Not stutter, but just like catching himself. He's like, well, the problem with the root text so far as we can tell. It's not quite high enough.

Look at that. It looks like he's at the science museum, and he's holding that big shiny ball. That's like Moses part in the Red Sea right there. You have a picture of his like everyday hair, though. Like, obviously this is his word. You're chompers. At least it distracts from that.

He kind of talked like a stereotypical, like low class Brit just a little bit too. Like the hello. Like I can't do that. Come on. Like a chimney sweep. Yeah. Oh, you know who has the best hair? in Europe of the leaders. And I mean, it's, it's not a leader that has anything to say

consequentially because it's a teen little country. But pull up the current leader of Estonia. Because this guy is making aggressive decisions to look retarded, almost as though he's like, I'm the leader of Estonia. None of you are going to listen to me anyway because our country has four million people and no army. But this guy, I think he does it himself. When the weather cools down, Golden Nugget Online Casino turns up the heat. This winner, make any moment golden and play thousands of games like her new slot Wolf It Up and all the fan-favorite huff and puffing puff games. Whether you're curled up on the couch or ticking five between snow shovels, play winner's hottest collection of slots. From brand new games to the classics you know and love.

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Go to one where it's very... This is him after he's let it go for a bit. Get one where he's like talking to the UN, like the very crisp angular cut that he goes with sometimes. This guy does not like hair touching his ears. Look at that. Not at all. Scissors snip.

I think he free hands with the beard timer. It's got to be a joke. Like he must have lost a bet. Wow. This is so embarrassing. The second's the last one look like something you'd see on a Lego. Just like aggressively. Yeah.

Dude, I've played oblivion with characters that look like that. When you hit randomized. I like it when every so often you see the leader of like, I don't know, Denmark or Finian. Finland and you're like she is smoking hot like she won a beauty contest over there like that yeah we don't have many smoking hot

politicians I would say at this point none well it's smoking hot I might say so they're attractive politicians but smoking hot is a high bar but yeah you got you got the Grahammeister

obviously obviously yeah you got it can all be like the grams of the world you got ladybug himself You see him at Disney World with his, like, princess bubble maker, wand? Yeah. Yeah, I saw it. Oh, I did. They took him with his princess bubble making wand.

And then once he got back to work, this reporter, I don't know who she's with, but she's hounding him. Tell us about the wand. Well, I was going to ride to Miss Mountain, and it was scary. I'll tell you what. And so I decided to go across the way and get myself a wand. Yeah, it was at like the peak of the Iran War and he's over there at Disney World buying his bubble wand. I don't know. I'm just not a good luck, I'll admit, but also we're not like at war here at home.

I don't think many people are like, if we were all saying don't eat meat, save that for the soldiers so they don't go hungry, then his bubble wand would be offensive to me. but that's not where we are here. I think we might be. Have you seen the meals they're serving on the aircraft carrier? Yes. And I saw Ryan Macbeth talk about it. And there's a term for it where they're not allowed to like communicate with back home while they're at sea. So the information we're getting is really limited.

And he's like that could have been night rats, which are these like rations they give after midnight. That could have been like something. He's like, we don't know. But he's like, I don't think that's really the meals that are. sailors are getting over there. That's just... It looked worse than like jail food. Jail food's way worse than prison food.

Prison food's okay. Prison food's like Golden Corral. But like jail food is like a boiled egg and like two sausages that are all shriveled up and some grits with no flavor. Like that's jail food. That's what looked like they were eating. It did look bad. I just don't...

I fact check. everything at this point. I see some picture of terrible aircraft carrier food and I'm like, well, I don't know. Just because someone showed me a picture of bad food doesn't mean that's what people are surviving on. Yeah, better safe than sorry. I'm scrolling through our president list. I don't think, and this is a big if, Thomas Jefferson may have been hot, but you can't tell. Right. And then it's a huge gap. And we've got JFK and that might be I guess Reagan

Jimmy Carter wasn't bad looking Reagan was good looking Jimmy Carter I don't think he's bad looking yeah maybe I have lower standards than Taylor in men because I think that by and large

all of our presidents had decent peaks you know even Trump who I don't think is very attractive and his best was fine Obama I think is above average you know at his peak Clinton for sure

at their best I'm only judging based on their in-term time. Oh, you're going their intern time? Yeah, I'm just going intern. Because I've seen pictures of Nixon from when he was like playing football, and it's like, that's a good-looking, sharp-jawed young man. You'd hit it. Okay.

And you see him, yes, but then you see him younger, or older, and it's a little rough. Here's the hotties. I heard LBJ hung down. You see Nixon between LBJ and Gerald Ford, and I don't know. even there he doesn't look that bad yeah but i mean following lbj like i'd look good like that that guys that guys are rough if we're talking about during their term w stands out to me obama stands out to me clinton stands out to me regan really stands out if you grade on a scale because he was like 70 something yeah you know for 70 something he's totally peak but if he was on tinder or he was on tinder

right now. He'd be too old for most people. Reagan beats the rest of that second row pretty handily, I think, even in his old, but that also could be because he's next to Uber S. Carter and just ghastly H.W. And I think of JFK is particularly attractive, but in that picture, he's not jumping out to me. He always looks rough to me. Like, I know he was like the presidential playboy that bagged all those models and actresses, but he's got that big gap in his teeth and stuff and his eyes are kind of close together

and he's he's got that Mick accent like like I fucks Marilyn Monroe I mean that's pretty cool I fucked uh I like that Bill Clinton you know he seems like he's having a fun he looked Bill Clinton's picture looks like

he knows he has fun plans right after this he did yeah I bet he does that's what I've always thought about that's I don't think W was a very good president. Iraq War lasted for decades and what did it cost us, $8 trillion for basically nothing.

Too much. But he's charming. And I don't know. I just every time he spoke, it was like, well, you can't hate the guy, just the things he does somehow. See, the problem is something I don't like, LBJ, Nixon, Obama, those are the only in the two bottom rows.

Throw a smile in there, man. like throw some teeth throw a smile you know the last three the double trumps and Biden are smiling yeah see they're smiling Bush is smiling Clinton HW has an open mouth smile calm it down like Reagan looking good Jimmy Carter looks like he's like I don't know well Obama's because he didn't have his grills in so yeah but then you get up to that third row and it looks like JFK started the smile some of those paintings. Well, yeah, I guess maybe they

looked better in that. But then you get up here, you get to the jolly. You got Grover Cleveland, you got Taft. Just a couple of jolly boys, having a time. Buchanan looks like he'd be burned by a crucifix. Top left. Yeah, Dracula vibes.

That was before they figured out what to do with the collar. It was just a ride. They were folded down. Are you a pump? Also, you know, Lincoln. A little full of yourself, put your hand down. Don't muse.

Don't pontificate. Take the picture. Take the painting. He probably had some shit on his mind. They were painting him while he was fighting the Civil War. Or actually, that could have been a thing where they're like, we're going to paint you. And he's like, perfect. I'm going to tactically rest my head.

And that way I'm comfortable for the duration of the painting. Or didn't he have like a really long face? Maybe he thought he'd look better if he cut off the chin. ugly. Yeah, he was incredibly hideous. Really? He also... Somebody told him to grow a beard. You're like, yo, you'd be more likable if you couldn't see as much of your face. Yeah, apparently

he was a bit of a ghoul. A little girl in the campaign trail told him to grow a beard. He literally grew it, won the presidency, and kept it. I mean... Beards help. Hopefully we get a bearded president soon. We need some sort of...

Dady Vans? Ted Cruz, J.D. Vance. I would have to see pictures and compare the beard in my head. What's that gay mayor you like so much? He grows a beard now. The gay mayor? Yeah, the gay mayor.

What's his name? Oh, um, Buttigieg. Buda judge. He's got a beard. I kind of want an old style busier beard more than a clean cropped one. Mutton chops.

That guy doesn't have to be mutton chops. Who the judge is that? I'm going to look. I thought he, just like Vance is, yeah, grow it out a lot of, little bit, a little bit from here.

Wait, is J.D. Vance always had that? Not always. No, not always. Yeah, yeah, because I was going to say, I didn't think he could grow one. As VP, he mostly... He looks like MIR from a practical joker. He does look like MIR. We're going to make him be president. They're going to kill him immediately.

All right, now pretend to be gay and run for president. Oh, oh. I'm looking at I'm talking about I don't love it it's the multicolor in it like you got to get grayer or be not gray

that in between thing he's got cooking it's a little thicker than you might think it is if you just glance at it because so much of it is white I don't know if it's the move for him because he doesn't have

that space between the mustache and the beard that doesn't seem to be growing in well Right? Like equal to his mouth. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? If you went long enough. Yeah, if he went long enough.

Yeah, if he went long enough. Did Buttigieg photos, Zach? By the way, you totally spaced on the girl butt thing because I immediately found a link. It's over there if you don't want to see it. It's literally a panning shot of all the asses of the Argentinian women's bowl team. He gave us that link an hour before you did if you look at the channel. Oh, did he? My bad.

He's on the ball. I think that he decided that needed, it was too. revealing for the show. Oh, well. Yeah, I don't checkmate. Yeah, Buttigieg has to commit or get rid of it. Like, go for it or don't? Don't, you know, go half in the half in the bag. I do agree. I just don't know if he's in the process of growing it or what we're cooking with. Yeah, I look forward to seeing the midterms and seeing what happens. Fans could do a good one if he's committed, but he won't. I don't know what the national like temperature is on Trump. In my little world, it's so down on Trump.

Like all my friends who were like big, like happy with the immigration stuff and happy with like just not Kamala and the stuff she stood for. And even the people who were, you know, Palestine was an issue for them. Like everybody has turned on Trump.

I don't know anybody who's still like on board MAGA. Yeah, he's not doing any of the shit that got him elected. So it makes sense. I don't know what's going to happen. I would have been all right with just about everything if he could have done something about the economy and the housing market.

Like that's where I'm the most disappointed. Like the Middle East is the Middle East. I don't love that. But like, I don't have to deal with that directly. I might be funding it against my will. But like, you know, I don't got to see it. So it's out of sight out of mind. But like when I look at Zillow and see like a closet for 500 K, like 500K,

I'm like, yo, fuck that. Because you're looking for, you're looking for a house. And so I see exactly why that would be your principal concern. And it isn't right now there are more houses for sale than there are buyers, right, for the first time in a while, I think. I'm not sure, but I buy it. I know it's cooling off. And the prices seem to be kind of leveling. They're not dropping like you hope.

And one thing that's not getting better is monthly payments because interest rates are higher than they used to be. So even if the prices are leveling, monthly payments go up. How is the move not to build your own house? Like the way the housing market's been, why not build your own house? Even land is expensive now. At least like everything I say is going to be northeast. But like in the Atlanta suburbs, suburbs, it's affordable. And if you wanted to, if you're okay with living in the country, the quasi country, like, it's cheap.

Like you'd be shocked at what an acre cost. You know, it's five to $10,000 an acre or something like that. Oh, yeah, dude. Up here, up here, it's like at least. $100,000 for an acre. Yeah. That's what it costs to get on the lake here. But it's not like new houses are so much cheaper than existing homes.

Unless by build your own house, you mean like you take your shirt off, start swinging a hammer. No. Although that's what my dad did. He did a bunch of the work himself whenever he built his house. I just feel like the market gets fucked up by all those big housing corporations, buying all the real estate up and inflating the prices. So like, I don't know if that transcends to. building materials and labor, you know?

It seems like you could build your own house and do better than buying one that's, well, at least the way the market's been. He says there's more sellers now or more buyers now, whatever he said. He says there's more sellers now. Yeah. That the market's kind of cooling off. People are trying to sell.

I don't know. I think Trump's losing support. I see it in the polls. But then they're never, they don't move as dramatically as like my little world does. Like Kyle mentioned, almost everyone that used to like him doesn't like him now. And then I see the polls and they're like, yeah, his approval rating is crashed from 38 to 34. Oh, that feels like basically the same to me. Like all the movements are never as much as it seems like it should based on like what I'm observing.

Yeah, like the way the gas prices are now and the way that like food never came back came down. groceries never came down. The way that the housing market has been for just so, so long, just all of it. And then that war, that crazy war, I don't know why anybody is for like the continuation of that thing and the tariffs didn't work. And now, like, I think the Supreme Court ruled on the tariffs and now they're going to give refunds, but not to the consumers. Like more motor companies getting some huge amount.

The amount of corruption Trump participated in in his first. first termed, he seemed handcuffed by at least trying to appear as if he wasn't corrupt. He's let that go. Now he just makes his own crypto coin, takes jets from other countries, like, you name it. Anything he can do to put money in his pocket, he says yes to. And some people are bothered by that, but the people that supported him before haven't changed their mind. Like, that was baked into the cake.

I don't mind his agenda necessarily. Like, I agree with, I like the immigration stuff. Like, like, need to do something about the age one. BVs is need to do something about all the illegal people like increasing them i like all those raids they're doing in minnesota i like all that stuff i i didn't mind when ice was in the streets and it was getting crazy i felt like it was like it was like do it i liked it i don't like that they killed those people those people definitely like that guy with that pretty maybe the guy with the gun they murdered that guy uh-huh yeah that was that was i don't i don't think they murdered that guy

I think it's like, like, I don't, I don't like when people die pretty much no matter what, even if in the moment I'm mad and I'm like, yeah, fucking good. It's like, usually I calm down and I'm like, all right, you know, loss of life is not good. But like, if you look at Alex Preti, it's two things. One, like, yeah, most cops don't actually know how to fucking fight and that's a problem. But then two, like, it's a split second that decides whether or not you die or you go. home and I get like we can all sit here and be like no you should have did it this way and it's like well you know fucking I don't know if I would have did it that way I think I probably would have played it safe it's just like that red button blue button thing it's like no I'm red button all

day because I don't trust fucking anybody you know well if you want to chat about that before we get to the red button blue button thing blue chew folks blue chew this episode is sponsored by blue chew let's talk about sex Guys, shouldn't you always be at your best? 2025 is the year to max. 2026 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom. Listen up, bluechew.com. Bluechew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra,

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You will enjoy it. PKK 10, 10% off or use code nothing for full price, as many of you do. All right. Cool, cool, cool. Is that another one of your Chinese vapes, Kyle? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Your 6,000 puff, they? Yeah, they go for everything. I are racing to the oncologist to see who can. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with these.

These are geek bars. They're so good. This is the best nicotine vape. Yes, yes, amongst all the Chinese nicotine vapes. That's top of the heap. What's the wrong with Chinese? I don't know. Some guy in the factory is pissing in it or something.

You hear of the U.S. say you're like, oh, quality. Come on. I actually do. Maybe I'm crazy. I hear like Chinese baby formula and I just assume there's like creatine in it or something lead. I don't know.

Yeah. Preatine. They wouldn't let our babies be strong. No, they would put some other shit in there. Maybe I mix it up. Maybe it's like Chinese creatine has baby formula in it. Where's your vape made? Oh.

Where's my fate? I don't know. In America? I think. Yeah. What brand is it? It's views. It's at gas stations.

How do you spell views? Oh, V-U-S-E. They're at every gas station. Yeah, they're made in China. No, that can't be true. In that case, it's a different brand. Actually, the E-Liquid is blended in the USA. The hardware does come from China.

Oh, well, it's made by British American tobacco and RJ Reynolds. Oh, the good guys. Yeah, see? I knew it. It is because the liquid is American means that that's a safe product. It's probably not. The liquid is the same stuff in albuterol inhalers they give to kids with asthma. It's the same substance.

Is it? Add nicotine. Yeah. I do a very scientific test every six months or so, where I hold my breath. as long as I can and I start a timer on my phone and I'm like 90 seconds I'm fine oh yeah 90s yeah you can knock 90 out on your Chinese you can knock 90 out holding ahead of this thing you know what would be great content for the listener is a breathful of contest in this oh they would love on the show and Kyle cheated how did I cheat you were because you

hold your nose like everybody else everyone's like this. I wanted to exhale air through the nose. Pretending he's not breathing. I remember eventually I had forgotten about that. That was you objected. And then I pitched my nose. But like what I was doing was like letting air out, not letting air end.

Well, that's, that's just not how the contest would work. Well, I mean, I'll put a fucking clothes pin on my fucking nose. If we have to like. How would that be different than refusing to do it with your hands? I wasn't. I didn't refuse. I did it. I pitched it. At first I did, and Woody was like, you got a breath your nose.

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You can't tell. When I need a breath, I interrupt somebody. I got to get you guys. I got all the sponsors. I want to play some grounded, too. Taylor hasn't played anything since AOE2. I gotta find a game that you want to I go in and out of gaming moods

and I haven't been in one for a couple months six weeks I don't let you she doesn't mind she doesn't let you does she she's out there playing oblivion well that's awesome okay okay she did

I bore my poor wife with stories of how like my most recent marathon raids have gone and then she tells me about her game and I want to be like, I don't care. Your game's gay and it's boring. And she's like,

no, look, I got a new costume for my character. And I'm like, how did you get that? Like Candy Crush or something. Like, her game is incredibly a bad person. I don't even know the name of it.

Oh my gosh. She's told you stories about this. It's on the switch. Yeah, she plays it in front of me. And I just like, oh my God. stop

dude when i when i had to run out a minute or two ago i had to i i have not banged a shin as bad as i i just did in a coon's age as kyle will say because for some reason they delivered uh no they delivered this vanity the replacement vanity from my upstairs bathroom and it's a 55 inch 54 and 55 inch vanity it was heavy as fuck and i was like we got to get this in because I didn't want it in my garage. I wanted it moved all the way to my sunroom so it wasn't taking up space so we could get our cars in. And like going up the stairs, the guy didn't, the guy offered to help, which was kind of him. But he didn't do that thing where he lifted it to my level as I was walking backwards up the stairs.

And I haven't checked. I bet I've scraped three inches of skin just off of my, off of my shin. It might, my socks might be red. What? Are you in shorts? No, I'm in pajama pants. I was in socks doing this. Pajama pants and socks for heavy lifting up the stairs is that's a move.

Well, in my head, I was like, I gotta get back. And it's just trying to move it and everything. But it's set now. But have you ever done that with any sort of injury that's very common? Like banging an elbow, scraping a shin. Where as an adult, you're like, I haven't had one this bad since I. I was, you know, 20 or something. Not so much injuries, but like every two or three years I get the flu.

And it's like, I've completely forgotten how hard this is to live through. Like getting so sick that you throw up. Oh my God. That is a terrible, terrible feeling. It's awful. And it's like, oh, yeah, he got sick. I've been there. You forgot how bad it is.

That person, it's suicidal. It's so awful to endure. I threw up for the first time in like a decade riding the subway a couple months ago. On the subway? That was the worst. Yeah. Just like the car sick. Basically like the red line is like notoriously shitty.

It's like one of the one of the, you know, inbound, outbound things. And they kept starting and stopping. And I was coming back from something in Boston. And I ended up fucking like hanging over. I was on the end seat. I hang over, I throw up in front of where, like, the door is. And that was, that was bad enough. But, like, the way the five or six people around me reacted is what really hurt.

They kind of look at me like, and then none of them says anything. They just get up and, like, walk to the other side of the fucking car. Were you drinking? No, no, I wasn't. I was sick as a dog. And I still went in, I still went into the city. embarrassing vomit? No.

Actually. This is a good story. So I turned 21, but I had a fight like a week later, so I couldn't drink. And my aunt gifted me a gift card to a liquor store that it just opened up.

And I get a bottle of Jack Daniels. No, not Jack Daniels. What fuck? Johnny Walker Red, right? And this is Christmas. I'm like, not like Christmas Day. I got the bottle, then Christmas Day comes. I go to my friend's house, and I'm just pounding this shit, like some kind of cowboy. No chaser, no, like the kind of stuff that a newly 21-year-old kid does.

And this is like 20s, yeah, I forget if it was 2016 or 17, but the new Star Wars had just come out, Force Awakens. My buddy walks in, he's like, yo, who wants to go see the Force Awakens? I spin around in the chair. I do. I do. me. I hop in the car. We were going there and like as soon as I sit down in the seat, the whole buta-da-da-da-da-da-da-to-th thing starts and I start feeling something. And I knew that might happen. So I brought a bag, right? Oh my God.

And like 30 seconds into the movie, I start vomiting. And I feel something. I feel something. The spaceship is still overhead. Is it still strolling? Yes. And I feel something wet. And it turns out the bag had a hole in it. Oh, God. Yeah.

So I get up. I run to the bathroom. I finish up. And my friends are not thrilled about this. I don't know what their problem was. The smell. They, they, they, they, I come back. I sit down same fucking chair.

and then I'm watching and like I this this scene is stuck in my head with the guy that's like given out food for like scrap and he's like three quarter portions and then I wake up and it's then credits and I remember getting that's the first 10 minutes and I just remember going to the car my friend throws a towel down and I will I will I up at my place the next day. Jesus. Yeah. You ruined your whole Star Wars experience. Yeah, pretty much. I didn't see the Force Awakens for another like, another like five years. I think it was like, like, 20, 20.

I think that's the one that Kyle and Woody both said sucked. They're all bad. They're all bad. Yeah, yeah, they do. I was on a tilt-a-whirl when I was like 12, 13, and on my right was my buddy Kyle. And on my left was his little brother, like two years younger. they look like clones of one another. And at some point I realized

I'm going to vomit. And because of the restraint I'm in, I can only bend left or right. And I'm, I have a split second to decide who I'm going to throw up on. The guy I go to school with, it's in my grade, or his little brother. And I chose the little

brother. And I threw up all over this little kid. Did you eat something rancid before? I was about to say, candy apple and a chili dog. Can you even think of a concoction worse than that? A chili dog is an S-tier gross vomit. Yeah, I like mustard and chili on them.

Mustard and onions on them too. And I remember it, I remember that it was red, and they thought it was blood at first. And then I remember my sneakers were new, like brand new, and they were white. And I just remember my mom be like, this ain't never going to come out. Like, they were the fucking trying to clean my. these sneakers get the candy apple vomit off of them it was so embarrassing we went home right after that i felt awful i remember the smell it was so bad that's my most embarrassing vomit i don't think i've ever vomited in front of people besides that i've never i don't think i've vomited like man

i think after the eating contest and julia at that time i threw up outside but that wasn't embarrassing that was just getting that gross burgers out of me so we could go to dinner yeah Taylor? I'm trying to think of my worst ever vomit. Yeah, go ahead. Worst vomit isn't even that. It's probably on an airplane into a seasick bag

or something like that. But it's awful. But I felt so bad for everyone around me. I think they just felt bad for me, like reciprocate. My most embarrassing vomit story would have to be this. I'm like 18 years old. And I'm going clubbing. in New York City.

And this is like lime night, limelight techno. You guys probably don't understand this, but they bought like a giant cathedral and turned it into an amazing dance club. And we would go there on weekends and stuff. Anyway, my friend brought his friends who were girls. And one of them in particular was smoking hot, perfect specimen. And to the club, this is what she wore, like a bikini bottom, a furry bra and snow goggles. and she made it look amazing.

Just fucking like goggles and a fuzzy bra. You know, it kind of works. It kind of works, right? And like I was hitting on her pretty much all night long and it's landing, right? Like it's going. And she's drinking and I'm making my moves and this is all signs or go at this point in my mind. Anyway, she throws up. She drank too much.

and I'm kind of like not into it at this point but on the car ride home now she's hitting on me she's like climbing on my lap in the back seat and stuff and I'm like well you know optimistically maybe she took care of all her problems along the way so we're like making out in the back seat

she did not take care of all of her problem she tastes like vomit one French kiss and I'm like tap it out Like, I can't have this. 18? Yeah. I was 17 when the same almost exact thing happened.

Okay. After a baseball game, she started drinking. They had a 20-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew that they put vodka in. And so they're all drinking at the baseball game. I'm not drinking. I'm driving us home. She gets so plastered in my fucking Ford Lightning that she gets sick. And we have to park in a parking lot because I can't take her home drunk because she'll get in trouble.

So now we're just sitting at a parking lot. It's like a Wilco gas station that has a Wendy's attached. So there's a, we're sitting in that parking lot. And I went inside and I got her like a giant big gulp cup in case she had to throw up. So she's like leaned against my door and she's got it. You got the cup. And I hear like throwing up throwing out. I'm like, oh, man, that sucks.

I'm sorry you don't feel good. She's throwing up all down the side of my door and the side of my seat. On the outside? Oh, in the inside. On the inside of the truck. She is vomiting down the side of my door and down the sides of my seat. I had also taken her to dinner at a lovely Mexican establishment where she'd had shredded chicken tacos. I'm 100% sure they were shredded chicken tacos because I cleaned them up the next morning out of my floorboard.

And I did make out with her before the end of the night. And it did taste like vomit. And I did not back down. I was there for it. And we did fall. I was 17 years old. I was all about that vomit making out. I was a little,

you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I know what I mean? My issues were compounded by everyone making fun of me for kissing her as well. Oh, fuck them. You're in the mix, dude. They were like, you know, your standards are so low. And it's like, well, on the outside, she was great. No, it's just the answer.

Just one breath minute away from being a nine. Fuck you, Encel. Go home with your boyfriend. Fuck you. I don't get a shit. I'll make it out with that puky hot chick. I remember what you get. When I was like 1617, I was at my buddy Caleb's house and he had an older brother who was like 22, 23 at the time and he had bought a ton of alcohol and Caleb's parents were out of town. And so we invited a ton of people. We were having a big party. But before anyone came over, Caleb's older brother was like, I'm just getting you guys a bunch of. beer and stuff but in this closet which was kind of to the side of their basement near his room he's had a bottle of rum and he's like you guys can take pulls from this if you want throughout

the night which he shouldn't have said it was i didn't i was probably 16 17 i was probably 17 and it was 151 and bickardi 151 rum very strong and so i was going in there taking pulls from that and at that time my only concept of hard alcohol was like vodka i'd had and so i didn't really yeah i didn't really differentiate the difference between that not as if i was experienced either way but i was taking two big a pulls of that i was getting fucked up and i was also coming back out and playing drinking games and drinking beer and in my head i was like yeah you're totally fine You're totally fine, but I wasn't. And all of the sudden, I feel like I have to vomit.

And we're in the basement, a ranch-style house. And he had those stairs that were covered in carpet, but there were gaps between the stairs. And so it wasn't, you know, a contiguous staircase. It was like those level, level, level, level, all the way up. And as I'm on the way up, there are people I know still there partying. I'm running upstairs because I even had the presence of mine to be like, if I go vomit upstairs horribly, I won't be as embarrassed. And I threw up on his carpeted staircase enough volume that like it was like dripping down into the area below the stairs.

And then insult to injury, I go up there. I still have to vomit. But I haven't consumed enough beer. I'm so full of 151 that like there's not much to. So I commandeered their upstairs bathroom, locked myself in it for the entire night. The entire night. My girlfriend at the time is like banging on the door. She's hammered too being like, are you okay?

And I'm like, I'm not even getting the fresh vomit out. Because it's all liquor at that point. It's just in my system. And so I'm doing those really loud, empty vomit screeches of like, I'm sure everyone in the house could hear me. And I was so ashamed. I was so embarrassed because then like she was joined by other girls that were friends of hers trying to quote unquote check up on me. And so I knew I'm like this is going to be the the tail of the fucking lunch table on Monday, which I'm sure it was.

And I passed out next to his toilet. But I, from probably 10 p.m. until 6 a.m. the next day, I slept and commandeered that whole bathroom. They only had two bathrooms. And so I took the whole thing up. And then I got up at like 6 a.m. because I wanted to sleep more because I was so hung over and feeling woozy and whatnot still. I got up. I went and laid down in his guest room, which was like pristine. You know, no one had slept in it that night. everyone was gone. I lay in there for a couple hours. I get up and I must have been fucking covered in vomit. Because all of those sheets and everything have like the red.

It was their guest room. It was their maid guest room. That was and that was really, really embarrassing because not only did I stain all the carpet on their stairs, which they managed to get out. Next time I went over there, it was almost like a fixer had shown up. where I was like, this is crazy. Who handled this? But, yeah, that was rough. I got plastered at a prom party and like, they had a slushy machine, like a big one.

It was kind of like, it's constantly like stirring the slush in there. And they had like the blue side and the red side. And somebody had dumped like multiple bottles of like vodka into them. So they were like super strong. And I was just drinking so much of that. I was just drinking so much of that. And I got completely plastered. and I just remember I'm in the bathroom vomiting just constantly.

The girl I was with super pissed at me. She's like gone upstairs to like her friend's bedroom has like closed the door, having nothing to do with me. No one's checking on me. And the girl who, the people who own the house, like the dad and the mom like come in the bathroom. Like you okay little guy?

Oh Lord, let me get you. They get me like some saltines and ginger ale. It was like the best thing imaginable at that moment. my life. I was all dehydrated and so, like, sick. And it was like, five years later, I'm at a bar playing in a poker term, playing cash poker. And there's a guy there. And it's that guy. It's the guy who owned the house. He's like, you, that little fella was throwing up in my bathroom. And I'm like, yep, that's me. And my dad's like, what? I was like, yeah, had a rough night

at Aubrey's house one night about five years ago. He was great. Got me at that ginger on those saltines. I hope somebody told your daughter not to use that toothbrush because I sure did. I remember my mouth was so gross and I was just, I literally used their toothbrush. Oh my God.

I'm wasted and my mouth tastes like puke. I don't have any fucking scruples. I'm just used their toothbrush, toothpaste, brushed my teeth, rinsed it, put it back. Never said anything. And they're fine to this day. You know, no more than that happened to them.

All right. That one was pretty rough too. That's pretty embarrassing. Yeah. I threw up in the back of someone's car who was driving me home my freshman year of college. They were being a good Samaritan. And I thought I had gotten all of it out. But I was so blackout and fucked up.

So I went to my buddy's frat party. And then I threw up in their horrible frat bathroom. And then was like, I just need to go home. But they were totally, you know, opposite sides of this giant campus. And so they're like, you know, they make just make this pledge drive him home. And so this pledge drove me home. And I'm like in the back and just he was taking, you know, he was taking turns a little wild. So it was really on him.

And that I threw up all over his back seat. And he was a big dude. And got back. Everything was fine after that. And next time I said, on my buddy who invited me to the party. I was like, man, I got to apologize to him. That was really rough. Like, I need to help him. Like, did he get everything out? Okay? Like, I need to say sorry. And he was like, dude, if that guy sees you again, he's going to beat your ass.

I was like, oh, fuck. I guess no. I guess the apology is implied. I ruined that night for myself at Tilted Kilt that time when we in Chicago. I got completely black. out vomiting in the bathroom of the bar and then like puking out the window of the moving vehicle on the way back to the hotel too i remember lozahn recording it as like as like vomit atomizes it's a good time miles per hour oh you good guy that's not overflowing with kindness that's all right it is all right i like it a lot but this sympathy is not like his greatest asset. It's a good trait for a fighter. For a fighter, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not for a guy you, you know, vomit in the house with. Yeah, I used to have a real problem, like drinking too much. Like, not drinking too often, but when I would drink, which was like sporadic, I never drank at home. But when we'd go out to one of those events or something, I would just keep drinking. Like, I would get to that drunk place and I'd be like, oh, I want some more of this. this is great. Two or three more drinks will surely be better than this.

And they never are. They're always just a one-way ticket to like vomiting in a bathroom alone all night and not getting laid. If you stay on like lighter drinks like beer, you can ride that a little more consistently. But if you're like a young guy drinking liquor drinks, very easy to blow past that limit before you even wants. Yeah, I always drink like liquor. I still don't like beer. I'm drinking one right now, but I still don't like beer. Like, it doesn't taste good.

Doesn't taste bad, though. Yeah, but with a shot, you get it over with. It's like, done. You don't have to sip on a beer for 10 minutes. You can just shoot a shot back and be done with it. Take your medicine and go back to a tasty drink. But, like, you can, is, does a beer, like a full beer, have about the same amount of alcohol as a shot or no?

Yeah. Yeah. Because it feels like you can chug a full beer And you don't get that feeling in your belly That you get from a shot Like the shot Well, you don't have a concentrated chunk of cold-ass vodka down there It's also, you're always drinking vodka like ice cold too

I can always feel that icy, thick Vodka shot like going all the way down to my stomach Yeah Warmed you up Yeah, it does warm you up Yeah, I like it Yeah, I like a little too much both of us we're talking yeah yeah like I could definitely easily like if I didn't keep my eye on it

become an alcoholic both my grandparents my grandfathers died of alcoholism in one way or another and they're like 30s they are equal I asked chat GPT we were we were taught in school that it was equal but my experience is more like tailors like beer just seems to be less alcohol than a shot not yeah well it takes longer to drink so maybe that's right Yeah, you're not getting that. And like Kyle said, it hits faster and harder, you know, when it's one shot. The warming in your chest and stuff. But that warming never felt cozy to me.

It felt scary. Oh, I didn't mind that. I really feel nice if you were outside on a cold day and you're having a little snort. I bet that would feel good. But in a bar, it's always like kind of a queasy feeling and my stomach kind of grumbles a little when it it's down there. It's like, what are you doing? It knows. It knows what's coming. I've never been a huge, like, vomit guy. Like, obviously it's happened. I've been more of, like, a drink too much and, like, blow it with a girl kind of guy. Or, like, like, a drink

too much and whip my nut sack out kind of guy. I feel, I feel, I feel like that's a little worse than a vomit guy in some ways. You want to say? No. It just depends on the age you're doing it. You know? And what's the good age to do it? Oh, I would say a better age is like college. You know, if you're.

College, yeah. If you're 34 and you're doing that. That best friend in high school and college used to whip his dick out all the time, constantly. Like, he would just, he wore umbrose. They were like in fashion at the time. Do people know what those are? You know, elastic waistband shorts.

And he just sort of slide the, you could call him basketball shorts now, but they're soccer. And he sort of slide them under his balls and wear a long shirt and just walk on the boardwalk and like lift his arms from time to time. Oh, yikes. His shirt would ride up and go back down.

And he was uncircumcised. So like people weren't used to seeing it. He wasn't American. And they were just like, whoa, it's like a fucking. and sausage or something like they hurt his feelings. It's a sex offender now.

We only had one guy that there was one guy that would do that in the locker room. He had an enormous cock. It was like, again, things change size. Like I'm thinking back to like I was 14 or 15 at the time or something like that. And I remember what he would do is he'd sneak. He didn't do it to me, but I saw him do it to somebody else. He walked up behind him and whipped it over their shirt. shoulder. Like this thing was like eight or nine inches soft. It was this long dong. And he all he would

fucking spin it like a cane and an old, um, Looney Tunes cartoon. He'd do all sorts of with us. Yeah. That fucking frog. It was like this fucking long soft. And he'd whip it out all the time in the locker room. And it, you know, we're 14. So like you feel like if you, if even glance at it, you, they're like, gay. Gay. You liked it. Didn't you? I was forcibly exposed to it. I feel like I've been assaulted. Dude, I had the opposite experience. I had heard that a guy in my high school had a small dick,

but you hear that so often, you just kind of brush it off. You know, when people say dick large and small is almost no reality, no basis in reality, so whatever. And this was kind of a strong guy, a little bit fat. He was a football player, you know, sort of an important player on the team. and just I don't know I sort of thought of him as like a country strong guy whatever and then for some reason in the locker room I caught a glimpse of his dick dude soft not more than a centimeter not more than a centimeter three eighths of an inch yeah like there

was no shaft to be seen just a tiny little head coming out from a little fat pad like a robin's egg and a nest yeah and and Like, I didn't think it was funny at all. I was like, oh, like, it was like he had a hidden deformity. Yeah. Yeah, that seems like that's a micro penis for sure. You wanted to walk over and give him a pat on the back and be like, it's going to be okay, pal. Right.

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That guy, the firepoie guy later in life I've mentioned before, Joe, he used to at like high school parties when we were drinking. He would get tanked and then he would like unzip his fly and pull his penis out and then he would walk up to people with it like he'd pull it over his wrist and he'd be like he'd be like can you give me the time and then it's not even a good joke i mean we were 16 17 years old you'd go can you give me the time and then you'd look down at his wrist because it was presented that way and then he'd call you gay like oh,

you're just a son of a bitch you got you again to be proud of? Was he like impressive? He was just a normal dick

he was stretching it and he crossed that but like, but like in retrospect that is very funny to

can you give me this time? I went down a rabbit hole today with the, like, the YouTube pedophile catchers. And I watched a video about them.

So I think it started off. The big one was this group called DAP, Dads Against Predators, and it's two guys. And they're the ones you probably saw like smashing the guy with a pumpkin at a Walmart and slapping people and like beating them up

like in the aisles of Walmarts and chasing them around, yelling, this guy's here to meet a child, this guy's here to meet a child. That's those guys. And then there was this, obviously spawned a bit of an industry

so there's this other guy, his name is Bupac Shakur. Bupac Shakur is a black guy. And he was like, I just got fired from my job. This is my new career. So he would pose as this, you know, 15-year-old underage person, get people to come to parking lots, and he'd like up things a notch. His opening move, when you're,

they'd be parked in a parking lot, waiting on an underage 15-year-old, whatever. His opening move is to pop their tires with a knife. He walks up to their car. immediately. What up, motherfucker? You hear to meet a child? And they were like,

the fuck, because there's a big scary black man with a knife and he just popped their tire and they're already on edge because they are there to meet a child. He'd smash their windows out and like start screaming at them and stuff. Really took things to like an aggressive level. Two years ago, he was shot to death by, he tried to pull the same thing on like a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old. I guess, and the 17 year old

had a pistol, and so they shot him to death. So I've been going down that whole rabbit hole today and watching his videos. The 17-year-old was like trying to meet with a 10-year-old or something? I think that's what he was accusing. 15 is what you opposed as. Hear the story where one of these like pedo hunters

lured someone in and the guy's like, you never said it was a teenager. And they looked through the chat logs. Okay. And he was right, right? Like, They just never mentioned the age. They acted like they disclosed it, or maybe they thought they disclosed it, but they never did. Yeah.

That was Vitaly Z. That's the guy that, I mean, I know him a little bit. I've met him before. Okay. What's his name? Tobuscus was like, oh, yeah, great guy, great guy. And I'm like, didn't he assault that woman in Florida on some sort of drug-fueled rampage? Just a little bit, a little bit.

If wasn't he arrested overseas, you know, things happen. But Talley had shifted to pedophile hunting, and apparently he called out and like quasi ruined somebody's life that wasn't a pedophile. And now I think there are going to be legal consequences. I think he's in a lot of trouble. It's like there should be legal consequences. Yeah, it's a big deal. Yeah, you can't falsely accuse people of that. To be a pedophile hunter and not include the age seems like a tremendous oversight.

Like that's kind of the whole crux of what you're doing. otherwise you're just larping as a girl and you're gay. Yeah. Keenstar suck all its sick. What is the past tense of sicking? I don't know. Stent all his fans over some guy. He said he was a pedophile.

And it turns out it was just a really nice old man who kind of sort of resembled someone else. Oh. Do you guys remember that? Yeah. Yeah. That was fucked up. And he was like, I'm not a pedophile. I'm just trying to get the hang of Skyrim.

Oh. Yeah. Oh. that's fucked up. Dude was like almost 70 or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's something that. Go ahead. I had nothing. I was going to say if you're going to do it. It seems like it'd be fun to do, but it's so dangerous. Like that would be a fun like PKK catches a predator. But like I don't want to be in a parking lot with somebody, you know, who's like backed into a corner like that. That seems incredibly dangerous.

I was going to use the same phrase. They're like a cornered animal. just like knowing that their life is on the line. I've heard the DAP guys, the DADD against Predators guys on podcasts and they'd be like, yeah, we've had either two or three people commit suicide that we caught.

Like they just went home and killed themselves. I wonder how they feel about that. Do they feel like they ridded the world of a criminal? They did not seem like they minded that that happened one bit. I think one of them was a victim, like when he was a kid and the other like had a family member who was a victim. So these guys are hardened. to this particular topic.

That's why I'm misunderstood. I thought the suicide victims, I'll call him. No, the guys who run the YouTube channel. Oh, okay. Like one of those guys was a victim when he was a child. And the other, I don't think he was one, but he had a close family member who was one or something like that. And so when they catch these guys,

they smash pumpkins over their head and they slap that shit out of them. And they beat them up pretty good sometimes. Jeez. Better make sure. Seems like a fun corner of YouTube though, right? Well, there's that giant redhead guy who does it. Oh, yeah.

Rascal McGoverns. Rascal McGoverns. You need to be a big, scary guy, I feel like. But you also need like a bunch of people. I think that if you had a bunch of people, like someone would be less likely to just like shoot you on a parking lot. Like if it's just you, the way that Bupac Shakur was running things, I don't think he had a cameraman.

He just run them up, running up on. people with his cell phone and like popping their tires and shit so like kind of asking for it at that I said it before but the way rascal McGoverns does it is kind of funny because when he does it he's this gigantic like power lifter guy but he dresses like a fourth grader not on purpose it just seems like that's how he dresses like a goofy graphic tea that says like classically trained gamer and then like you know basketball shorts and he'll go up to someone be like you're trying to rape kids and they'll be like, uh,

what? And he's like, we got your messages, brother. We got your message. And he's just, he's just maugging them, just like being like on top of them almost. Apparently he gets a lot of them real deal arrested. It's not just for content.

So that's good. When I was streaming, they were talking about Rascal Begovins all the time. They were upset with me, which they shouldn't have been because I don't even know this guy. I've never seen any of his content. And they're like, you said this.

And I'm like, you're going to have to dime, stamp it or something. I don't even know this person's name or whatever. I imagine we said something on the show. And I forget if they were pro or con him, but they were passionate and they were angry at me. That's weird. I know he's gotten in some of his own trouble. Like I think he got some legal trouble, maybe about violence or something like that. I don't really remember. But I didn't remember him doing anything like deplorable. But just in general, like if you're doing that, even Chris Hanson, the way he does it. It's like a little bit exploitative, you know, the way they're doing it. It's like,

where's their heart in this whole thing? You know, are they just trying to make money? Looking for views. Because if that's your main motivating factor, you could easily have a situation like Batali did where, like, you weren't sure you had the guy that you were going after. You just, you know, thought you might. You were close enough and you could go after this guy and you didn't confirm the kill or whatever. That's a bad look.

And then the more I watch, Chris Hansen has his own YouTube channel now where they do like so much content. Like I got bored of it. there were so many of them and every one of them they've got a they've got a a body double now who kind of looks underage the men come in the house and they they get to talk to the girl like the girl is there to like incriminate them or sometimes they'll run the scam where like an aunt is pimping out her niece and so like the aunt will be there and actress is playing her and the niece is there who's supposedly 15 actress is playing her and like she's like yeah go go put your like you know, little girl clothes on while I negotiate

price with this guy. And then here comes Chris Hansen out of the back. And you're like, oh, here it comes again. And it's always so awkward. You know, it would be a fun new flavor as if Chris Hanson ever came out dressed in a two to like a little girl. And he was like, what you expected. Not what you expected, huh? It's not tax hanging out. He's just Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.

He just dick stuck between his legs doing a little dance Do a whole Buffalo Bill act Yeah, his YouTube channel is wild There's so many of them on there I don't even know what he calls it anymore It's just like his third Third different show doing this shit

But guys still reckon He's aged a good bit now And he almost doesn't look quite like himself anymore And so guys he'll be like I'm Chris Hansen And he'll be like No you wank He's like I am

He's 66 Which is younger than I thought Yeah he looks every bit of it. I can't help but watch though, because it's hard to find content anywhere approaching that like the consequences, I guess. Like what's happening in that moment?

Like someone's life going from 60 to zero in that way. And like police activity has it. Police activity has it in spades. Yeah. But we were watching some police activity videos in the patron hangout a couple days ago. Just all sorts of crazy ass police. shootings. That's such a good YouTube channel. Dude. It is. You're selling me.

Like people were dying. Maybe every one we watched had a death. Yeah. I don't think anyone survived that day. No. No, we were watching the good ones only. We skipped through all the, all the people who just got wounded a little bit. We were mostly watching the ones where someone takes a hostage and they're holding them at like knife point or gunpoint, like in the movies. And the cop shoots them in the face, like right next to the hostage. Yeah.

That's impressive. That's so impressive. He used another cop's shoulder as a bipod. I'd hate to be that guy's right here. Ah, he had a suppressor on that. He's fine. The barrels, and the barrel's in front of them too.

Like, it's not a big deal. I've done that before. Like, I've braced for people and then people's, people have braced for me and I've braced for people. And with the suppressor, I know how much quieter it is,

but yeah, I'm okay. I could see that. Even in that clip, it's just, you know, there's not much to it at all. and there was someone on either side.

Like he blasted the middle guy with pretty impressive. That was a SWAT team. They were probably wearing active earpro of some kind. Like they were all geared up. You know, they were fully like geared up for that, for that little raid.

But they shot that guy right in the face. And you could see brain matter on the floor and shit. Like they should. I don't even know what kind of rifle that was, but it might have been a 308 or something like that. It looked bigger than an AR. They turned his head into a fucking watermelon or something like that. Yeah, because they were like three meters.

away. I could have hit that shit. It's a tough shot. Now, it's a stressful shot, but at three meters, pretty good. Yeah. There's a long gun. He's a scope, you know, and it's braced on. If you're not a shooter, that is the easiest shot in the world.

Yeah, yeah. And then there's that old one where the guy's sitting in the chair with a pistol in his hand and the sniper shoots the pistol like out of his hand. Oh, yeah. And he's just like, the fuck? What the hell just happened? that's a great shot.

Or the Brazilian one where the guy's like holding a knife to the head and then he gets blasted and you can see the skull fragments. Yeah. I think it's the one we were just talking about. Yeah, with the shoulder shot. No, that's a different one. Like the Brazilian one?

Yeah, this guy. They're outside against the outside of a building and he's holding a Shelby woman, I think. That isn't the one I was thinking of. I was thinking of an indoor one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there's lots of them like that.

There's the best one I've ever seen. I couldn't find it to show you guys the other day. but like the guy's running from the cops and he runs and he takes the guy who runs like one of those guard gates with the swinging arm, he runs into that and takes that guy hostage. I think the guy was a seat

with like a long beard or something and the cop just with a very little hesitation with his glock shoots the bad guy in the face. The seat guy pisses himself and like like because this guy's head just exploded next to him and like runs outside. It's wild. That's one of the better one.

I've ever seen. In my concealed carry course, the instructor was like just teaching us all about decision making, the legality stuff and then like the reality stuff. And the instructor was, I don't know if he was chief of police, but just a policeman forever retired cop. And he was telling some of the stories that he had encountered

across his career. And one of them was that situation. The bad guy and the concealed carry guy's wife, like basically in a headlock with a gun to her head and the concealed carry guy pulls out his 380 ACP lines it up and shoots the wife by accident

honest mistake she was next time douch bag and he was telling you back she lived good

Man, that's a rough one. I bet she brings that up all the time. What are you going to do? Shoot me? That's fucking wild. There was an old clip. They played on Opie and Anthony. So this must have been from the 90s if they were listening to it in the early 2000s. And it was a 911 or 911 call from an old man.

who was like, yep, I done shot my wife. And the person on the line's like, I'm sorry, sir. He's like, I shot my wife. I think she's alive. You're alive? Like just yelled at it. And then they're like, all right, sir, where are you at? And he gives him the address and everything.

And he's like, why did you shoot your wife? Was it an accident? And he goes, she enticed me. She enticed me. for 32 years. And it was, it was all. And she's like, can you go walk next to your wife? Is she alive?

And he goes, I think she's dead now. And, but his, the whole thing where he was like, she enticed me. She enticed me to shoot her. Yeah, he went to jail for the rest of his short life because he was an old man. But yeah, that's, that's a rough one. not as short as hers no i've been watching those fucking crime uh like like

videos on youtube and it's it's so much dark shit and i'm like how did we not hear about any of this on the news it's all these fathers killing their whole family and trying to pretend like it wasn't him and like mothers killing their children and like all sorts of wild shit it never makes the news i i'd never

heard of any of these stories and each one is more ridiculous than the next like that one there was one the other day where they find this 70-something-year-old millionaire dead in the park. And the park is between his community that he lives in and the Starbucks he frequents every day. And scattered around him are things like rubber bands, his money clip.

He's been shot once in the heart. There's powder burns on his chest, so the gun was very close. And all of his friends are like, oh, best guy ever. He was supposed to be playing in our foursome today. He never showed up. So jovial, always a smile on his face.

everybody loves this guy and they can't figure out who would have done it and they suspect this one guy. They're running him through the ringer questioning him. And it turns out they start looking into his purchase history and also what he had, I think his Google searches and he had Google searched like how many cubic feet of helium to inflate this kind of weather balloon. And like what kind of weather balloon does this and that and the other? And they were like, oh, he was into weather balloons, I guess, launching weather balloons. Turned out what he was into was insurance fraud.

He went to the park and inflated a weather balloon with helium, tied the gun to the weather balloon, shot himself in the heart, and floated the gun over the fucking Atlantic. So his kids would get the multi-million dollar insurance policy. And they found it out through like Google searches and stuff. Oh, no. The kids didn't get their money. Can you just trip at a dangerous cliff or something? I guess he wanted to go out endlessly. Control Shift N, listeners.

That's how you get an incognito window in a way with murder, apparently. I think the ISP is going to, you know, tell them what you were searching an incognito for that. It's crazy they figured that out. They can't know that. Oh, I thought. No, the ISP.

would be encrypted through the ISP, right? You know better. They still spy on you, but it's one of those things where it's like, well, technically they can't use it. So like, you know, it's one of those like, like, if you found out something by spying on like your parents or your, you're like brother or sister and you're like, oh, I have dirt on them. But if I tell them, they'll know that I was spying.

Like Google might know on their servers because it's the same. same IP address. It's from the ISPs. That's what the S is in HDPS, right? It's secure. So the ISP wouldn't know. Google could know, but it wouldn't be in your browser history. But wouldn't they just requisition someone up the line? If they were to like subpoena Google, I guess they could get that info. My theory is they wouldn't, but I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy.

Yeah. I think there's a good chance if they, if they were like, like if there wasn't any smoke, they wouldn't assume there's, fire. So it's like if there wasn't like a how to murder Google search on there. Yeah. Yeah. Because sometimes you'll hear stories where they search retarded things, no incognito window, where it's like, what kind of acid dissolves bone? Come on. Cut it out. And then they have an order from an industrial, you know, chemical plant. I've been watching videos about catching video game cheaters. And I'm not an expert on video game cheats, but they like put it on another machine to make it harder to detect. And there's complications that they jump through. When they're trying,

when someone's like, look, Taylor, I know you're cheating. I know it. They'll be like, no, I'm not. And they'll request access to your machine. And then they just search around all the processes. They go into device manager and see what's attached to your machine. And they're like, huh, like this thing that's masquerading as a monitor. Why would you have two mites on your machine? I think that this is a cheat device of some sort. They also go through your browser history and see if you ever visited a site that sells cheats or if you've ever Googled something about cheats.

I was like, this is like actual investigative work and not as simple as like looking for a process that's running called cheat.exe. Sure. Go into your CSI. Yeah, they look through your browser history. to figure out if you're cheating in a video game tournament. I hate that cheating in video games is the thing. I don't understand.

Like, I've been there where I'm so frustrated at my inability to click on a head. And, and, like, I didn't want to cheat. I didn't want somebody to hand it to me. I just wished I was better. Or I had approached the gunfight differently or whatever.

I, like, I was more, I never thought, like, oh, I bet I could go download something. And I could see that guy through the wall. Then he'd see. That'd make me feel good.

Have you ever been tempted to do real money stuff? In Parkoff? So I have a friend. I swear I'm not talking about me when I say I have a friend. But he, I don't know if he actually bought it or if you found a red key card, but he instantly sold it. He gave him 20 million rubles.

And it just let him play like a Chad darn near that entire wipe. You know, he gave him enough cash that he could always run him with good gear and could do all PVP and not do any of the rat runs or scab runs that most people do to gather well. And, you know, I didn't buy anything, but I did look, and it's like on eBay for $9.99, I can have enough wealth to last me through a white. And I get why people do it. See, for me, that grind is my favorite part of the game.

I think it's the destination, but it's really the journey. Right. I think that I'll be happy when I have $20 million, but the happiness is it comes along and acquiring those $20 million rubles. Like once I have them, the period that you're talking about when you play as a Chad and you just throw cost, every one of your kits is 1.2, 1.5 million rubles and you just throw away 10 of them a day and you just don't care. Like, the game starts getting a little less fun for me at that point. My favorite part of the game is when I've got mostly level one, but a couple of level two traders. And I have to make this little short AK7 for you or whatever. But I've got some good ammo for it.

And I know as long as I play right, I can take any chat out. And I've got like mid-tier armor, so I won't get insta-zapped. But I can also have a little, I'm also can't like sustain in a gunfight. And I got a rap. And I need to find that LEDX. I need to find those, whatever, that junk out there. And so when I lose, it just hurts so much. But if I was just handed, I mean, I hunted for a red key card for hundreds and hundreds of hours.

on the map where the most spawn with the keys for the right rooms checking all the right spots. In all of my thousands of hours, I found a singular blue key card. That's all I've ever found, ever in Tarkov, never found a red one. But I always dreamed of it.

I always dreamed of it. Because Taylor, like, they're so much more valuable than any other resource in the game. It's not even close. Like, they're like 20 million rubles, sometimes 30. And like, once you,

then the LEDX, is kind of like the most expensive thing. It's a million. They're 30 times more valuable than the next most expensive thing to find in the game. The Red Rebels in the middle, but yeah, it still holds most of the truth. Yeah.

Yeah. So, anyway, I just don't see the advantage. If you're like me, you think the fun is the end game when I can just, you know, I run the same kit, Landmark runs,

and I'll play just like Landmark, I won't. And, you know, that'll be the fun part. But then you get there and you're like, oh, actually, why am I even playing? If I'm so rich that it doesn't matter if I win or lose, like, it actually turns out that's not the fun part that I thought it would be. Yeah, it's the grind. In most games, that's true. I really like that grind.

Like right now I'm in this grounded two game and I'm like, I've got to find some more sap. Are you playing that solo? I started at solo just to kind of get to see if I liked it because I know they all want to do a big group session. and I wanted to dip my toes in it to see if I was going to, because I don't want to join the group session and then back out after half an hour and be like, this is lame. So I wanted to see if I like it. I'm still not sold on it 100%.

I can see that it's got a lot to do. There's so much crafting and so many resources and you like research each resource and there's so many weapons and stuff to do. And just the story seems fun. There's like an evil corporation that has shrunk you down. And they're very callous when you speak to them. They talk to you like your, not a person.

They don't care about your life. And one of the things I'm struggling with in the first hour or two is the ants aren't mean, but you need to kill them to get their resources. The ant will kind of see you and like wiggle its antenna and then just keep walking past. He's peaceful.

But you've got to kill them. And at first they're like, why? Why are you killing me, tiny man? I feel bad for the little ants. That's not how a real ant would react. They would kill you immediately and drag you to the Yeah, to the rest of the swarm

Maybe they would recognize me as a as a humon And then they wouldn't wouldn't want any part Maybe I smell weird You know, they don't want any part of me No, ants definitely have a negative opinion of us Yeah All the all the magnifying glass And they revere us as gods

And they see like when we kill them as like judgment I mean that's a lot of ifs Most of the time they see us expressing a lot of interest It's some guy who melted down 600 Pepsi cans and he's like, let's get a load of this and they're all burning alive while you pull out some ugly sculpture.

I saw a post on Reddit where they hated that guy so much. It was like an aunt made the post. He was like, look at this piece of shit. Killing animals for no fucking reason than to get his jollies. And they're all like, people are clicking it because they don't know what he's talking about. And then you see like this guy's made

a sculpture with aluminum pour down and Ant, and they're all like, are you talking about the ants? The fire ants that are like invasive and they bite you? Yeah. That kills people every year because they're allergic to the stings and they're, they're from South America. They don't belong here. They don't have, we don't have ant eaters here. So like, we have a real problem dealing with them.

Yeah, I hate fire ants. I'm always happy when to see those videos. That would be a good move. Bring a few ant eaters up here. I don't think they could survive in our time. climate maybe. What'd you say? I don't think it's surviving our climate.

Ken eaters? I'm not sure. They're like South American. They live down there in like Argentina or something. We could get some short-haired kind or maybe longer-haired kind, whatever's needed. Panting in Florida. They panting with your nose. They probably look hilarious panting.

They got those goofy scroll tongues just going in and out, like a party face. flavor. Scott, what is the trophy on the end of the red ribbon? The metal. Oh, that's, that's for a Naga. Fucking, it's a second place. I only kept it because, um, I think it's pronounced knit.

I, I kept it though because it was my first, uh, tournament as a black belt. And, um, only one other guy showed up. But like, it was going to be a two out of three because of that. And in the first one, I popped my fucking shoulder. So, like, I was fucked up. And I was like, okay, like, I could feasibly be like, no, no, man, you got it. But I was like, no, fuck that.

I'm a black belt now. And I went out and I, like, I tried to fight through it. So I was like, okay, well, I'm proud of myself. I'll keep that one, even though it's literally like, you're the second guy to show up. Here's your medal, you know. That's Naga to me is a pretty big thing. Like, I have two medals. And the tournament sounds cool.

It was the Budweiser International. Have you ever heard of the Budweiser International Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament? You haven't, have you? No, what it is? It's the king of here. There were no international competitors at this thing. But I got a gold and a bronze. I can't tell which medals which unless they're next to each other.

But anyway, Naga, though, is like a, I don't know, it's like one of the bigger amateur jits comps, right? It's, it's, I mean, it's not like the IBJF, you know, like Naga. Pan Ams or anything, yeah. Yeah, like Naga's where all the, all the MMA guys go to get like some jiu-jitsu in, you know. If you're, if you're an MMA guy and you're like, yeah, no, you know what? fuck it let's let's go do some no gee at like an iBJJF you like like there's there's like graces that i've seen just walking around at like boston open tournaments and like the meow brothers and stuff like that like dudes with big names and they're just at like what is supposed

to be kind of like a local open tournament just killing people so it's it's like that's that's kind of that's kind of what naga serves as for like a lot of dudes that are like okay like i'm not doing jiu jiu jitsu full time but i want to get a tournament in what do you think about Ghee versus no Ghee? Because whenever I watch Ghee, it just, for one, it doesn't seem as applicable to real world scenario. So that feels like it illegitimizes it to me. And it just feels like they made up a thing. I get that they didn't. That's just like that's how it was done. But I like the idea that no Ghee is more real world and applicable to like self-defense. Am I wrong about that? I feel like what you're wearing right now would play out much more like

I'd take this off. I wouldn't let you choke me with my fancy jacket. I'd see that coming a mile away. I think he's too much money for this. You'd strad up. Even if it was just a T-shirt, it's somewhere in between. That's my question. Would like a T-shirt?

Let me let Scott answer it. Like, if you use it the right way, like, I actually, I did this on a season one of Fish Tank was I showed like, because if you bunch up a shirt, it can usually be pretty strong. And then like there's there's other things that you can do too. Like like, um, you know,

like this thing on me right now like, like, depending on like how I use it like when and where like I, it could be used for chokes and things like that. I've made, I've made a fucking fool myself before. I'm not going to lie. I was like hot to trot like two,

two striped white belt and I just learned what Ezekiel choke is, which is like you go here, person's neck is here. you come around and then you you just like close the hole basically i'm sitting here like you guys want to see something cool rip i've done that i've done that before in your own shirt yes yes fucking um but like it's it's it's kind of in between is is what i'm thinking of moves where i've see them like reach between the guy's legs from behind and grab like the tail of his ghee and like do this whole maneuver and and it's like i just don't know if that's applicable and if it's

if parts of it aren't applicable, then is it worth training that with that in mind? If some of it works, but some of it doesn't, are you really getting the best out of the training? If you're doing it for self-defense, I suppose,

because if you're, I mean, there's all sorts of, like, shooting that are silly shooting that don't really apply to anything in particular. I get that,

but, like, I've always see what you mean. Like, I've rather watch more than me. And, like, I'm focused on what I think is the most important thing, or maybe I'm trying to advance something.

and while I'm doing that, they're like loosening my belt and undressing my jacket so that they can do something to me with it. And it's like, should I, I'll change my focus to stop him from doing that. Like maybe, slap his hand like a woman.

Stop. And like you'd say, like it's long enough. It's a specific piece of, you know, clothing that they use all the time. It's very strong. Yeah.

Like I couldn't rip a ghee. Not many humans could rip it. All right. A ghee unless it was super old, you know, watched 10,000 times. That too, yeah. But, you know, like I said earlier, like all winter long, everyone has jackets that function a lot like geese. T-shirts are somewhere in the middle. It's not exactly bare chested or rash guard.

Yeah. Yeah. It just seemed more technical with no ghee. And I, I, go, good. I just seem more real. Just like more like a real life. may be. I've seen so many fights for the first thing the guys do is take the fucking shirts off. Yeah. And like it, I see what you're saying and I can agree because like what has happened is like,

because when I first got involved in the sport, it was like 2011, 2012. And like back then it was like, if you're doing jiu-jitsu, you're doing it because you're going to do MMA. Like people weren't just like doing jiu-jitsu the way they do it now. And because of that, like the stuff I learned was like applicable for MMA, even like the bottom game stuff. But then like jujitsu started to establish itself as its own thing. And because of that, you got all this weird lapel stuff and like, you know, spider guard. And it's like you're going to train for the rule set that you're going to compete under or that you're going to try to be ready for. And this is like, this is why people get slammed now with like triangle chokes and arm bars is because when I learned how to do arm bars and triangles from

bottom. I learned you have to swim to try and get control of the leg, which like, you know, if, if this is me and this is the guy on top, right? Like, I'm not going to stay here. I'm going to get, like, to the side. They call that K guard now. That's going to keep me from getting slammed. But, like, a lot of dudes are not training for, like, what could happen outside of a rule set. They're training for, like, oh well you know i mean i i just won gold at this tournament so i must be doing something right and because of that it's it's like yeah it can it can be pretty weird and like if you're at striking and it becomes a very different situation like people don't got people realize they really hate getting hit in the face and it throws them off their game no yeah there was a there was a world

champion who fought last weekend i didn't see it but i saw the i saw the um the clip of it his name is like Busheshah or something like that. And he got like embarrassed by some no name like just just some some random dude who probably won't even be in the UFC like in a few months to a year, you know, dude just stood up. That's that's all that happened, you know? And there's like there's there's been a disconnect between MMA and Jiu Jitsu for a long time. And like it's it's like I said, the feedback is positive feedback. Dudes are winning medals at like Pan Ams and worlds and stuff like that.

So they're going to think they're doing something right when they're not, you know? That happened to me. I was at Joe Lozahn's gym. And I had done a little bit of striking and more jits than that. And I think I was in the guy's guard or something. So I sort of postured up and didn't give him any like, you know, gifts, whether he could arm bar me or whatever. And he just punched me in the face, like really hard. I didn't get knocked out or anything, but like I was just, I kind of had to like reestablish

what was happening. And I didn't see it coming at all. I had done so much grappling that I knew that like, you know, elbows in, a little posture, a little distance from the guy and he doesn't really have any, you know, thing, offense he can pull on this. And I was going to figure out what to do next. Then he punched me and it was just like, fuck, okay. And I'm like, is that, like, I haven't been hit enough that I know what's normal.

Is it just super common to like blank for a second? Dude, this is a question for Scott, but let me give my own like experience with this with boxing. Every time I've boxed, I got my bell wrong and I got a severe headache. Every single time, I've maybe,

I sparred with my cousin maybe half a dozen times before I was like, you know what, we've gotten our money's worth out of these gloves. That's it. These are heavy bag gloves for now on. You ain't hitting me again. and I'm not hitting you again. This fucking hurts.

Every single time we'd spar, and when I would get hit, it was like, like you said, my brain got reset for what felt like a full second maybe. Like I wasn't there. And I got knocked on my ass and like,

dazed a couple times. We both threw rights at one time and like double, like knocked each other down. And like we were sitting. Yeah, like rock, we're sitting on our, but not nearly as cool

because we're like 17 year old kids. And we're just, sitting her ass looking at each other like, fuck, this ain't fun. And my dad's over there like smoking a marlboro red. He's like, told you. It's better to hit and be hit. Del run all the time, Scott?

Is that like a normal thing in training? Is what the like getting your bell rung? Yeah. I mean, if you're trying to kill each other, yeah. Like what Kyle sounds like you like, what you sound like you're describing is concussions. like you just, you just like would go till you guys got concussions.

Like bell rung and then headache after. Like neither one of us were great at it. But so like we'd miss a lot of punches and like a lot of grazes. We were trying to move our heads around. But when we would connect, like we were throwing as hard as we could throw, you know. So like when you,

it would always, it would always like stun me. And I would have such a headache after that it was like, aspirin ain't going to fix this. It would take like lying down to like get. I would be, have a headache all day. It was always so bad. I hurt so much.

That sounds like a concussion. I've had real concussions, but from ice hockey, not from fighting. And fighting was just a little, very small amount of confusion, right? Just had to like reestablish where I was and why. Yeah. I've had a handful of concussions. It can't be good. That ATV crash I had where it gave me the seizure, that was 100% of concussion.

That's my brain like misfiring and sent. sending me into spasms. That was that was awesome. Then like I fell off a rope swing one time at the apex and like slammed the back of my head into the ground and I remember like what's the alex? Like right at like as I'm swinging towards and it's like I have the most like a forward momentum. It snapped there and then I kind of with my head lower than my ass hit the ground while moving forward. And so just the back of my head just hit about as hard as it could on the like dirt and it knocked me out because I remember like waking up looking straight up at the sky and like reality coming back in through like that through like a tunnel so that can't be clear you guys

all have vocab word apex I couldn't I thought it was the name of a facility I'm like are we all supposed to know where the apex is I was like oh the UFC apex cool I thought that as well I was is there a river called the apex he was doing this I clarify you guys all have weak skulls Never been concussed. Fall on a ton. Yeah. This tracks. Yeah.

Homer Simpson's school. I've been flashed, but I've never been like K-O-K-Oed. You know, I'm going to knock on some wood there fucking. And like it was, it was just like a weird experience. Like, like, it was very shortly after a fight started. It was just like kind of a disastrous night. And I go out, touch gloves with the guy. and I was going to throw a double jab, right?

I throw a jab. I feel it connect with something. And I wasn't sure what, but I was like, oh, that connected. Fuck it, cross now. I go to throw the cross. He countered over the top. And I still have eye floaters in this eye because of that, actually. And I just remember, like, feeling a thud and then black and then jolting awake when I hit the ground.

And I knew where I was right away. I was like, oh, fuck. And then I feel weight on my back. And I'm like, oh, that's him. Like, I knew where I was. I was perfectly fine. But like my vision was crossed. And it was crossed that way for like 10 to 15 minutes, which it was an amateur fight.

It would only been like a like a nine minute fight, you know, like 10, 10 or 11 minutes if you count the rest. So like it was it was a good thing. I didn't try to fight through that. I would have not been like okay for the whole fight. Yeah, and that was that was that was that was the worst like head injury that I got a bit of a cracked skull. I still got a add stitches here. But like for like somehow I was not concussed. I think it's probably because the the skull fractured a little bit.

Because I my understanding is you either take it on the skull or you take it in the brain. I don't know if that's true. That's just what I've heard. I get it. Yeah. Like the skull's almost a crash mat. you know, absorbing energy. Kyle's muted.

My most embarrassing knockout isn't fighting at all. I just wasn't paying attention when a basketball hit me in the head. I got knocked out. And I came to, and I was laying flat on my back looking at the lights in the gym. And it was just like, fuck, is anyone

watching? Who passed it so hard? I think they were shooting, and it just airballed and hit me in the head. Yeah. I was near the next. that yeah. You got to pass it hard, Kyle. I remember my middle school basketball teacher saying,

it's got to be a frozen rope. He said frozen rope all the time, and I was like, this isn't a good saying. Like, this is a stupid way to describe it. Just say throw it hard. A laser.

You got to shoot ropes, Taylor. You got to fire ropes. Lock and load. I never saw anybody get hurt playing baseball. Like other than like superficial injuries. Well, I broke my fucking ankle playing baseball, but,

and then this other kid named Kyle, he had the slowest reaction times. Like he did everything slow. Like he talked slow. He talked a little bit slow. And he wasn't slow. He was bright enough. Like he wasn't in any special classes.

He just was slow. And he was playing third base for some reason. And we're at practice. And my dad's at the plate with a bat. And he's hitting ground balls to everybody so they can field. He's coaching us. And he hits one to shortstop.

And it was this big black guy that me and my dad would go pick up from his place called Goose Holley to play on our team. Big boy. He was like six inches tall than any of us. He could fucking throw. He could fucking swing. He could run like the goddamn wind. He was a godsend. He fucking catches this ground ball from my dad, turns around and fires it to Kyle over at third.

Kyle doesn't even get his hands up. He eats it right in the mouth wearing braces. All right? His mouth is mangled. He spits up more blood than any of us at ever. seen on a baseball diamond. They have to give him oxygen in the ambulance and shit. He's over crying.

It was a debacle. That's not a good look at Slow Kyle. Slow Kyle was all, I don't think he really played much after that. We put him on first base or something. He didn't play 30 or more. Isn't first base an important position? They're all important. Where are you going to put that slow-mo?

Right field? That's the joke, right? You got to have an arm out there, you know? He didn't. Oh, poor slow, Kyle. Were you fast Kyle? I was definitely fast Kyle. I could

Like if there wasn't a third Kyle So I was running away with fast Kyle Yeah you don't pay attention for a second Baseball can fuck you up I got a line drive from some like coach pitch league When I was probably eight And I wasn't paying attention And I just ate it

right to the face. Blood, my mouth, all that, hit me in the nose, the nose and the mouth. They're, like, hit me in the mouth and, like, rolled up and also hit my nose. So there's blood.

And I was more humiliated than hurt, which I think is common in those little kids sports injuries where you're like, oh, man, everybody's looking at me. The parents and the bleachers look concerned because I'm so bad at this game. I couldn't get my hand up.

You got to practice. It takes so much practice to be even a little bit good at baseball. like we would practice for hours a day every day. I would play shortstop and my dad would hit those fucking balls and he's so goddamn hard until I wasn't afraid of them anymore because you got to stop them with your body. You have to get in front of it.

And at first you want to like field it off to your left. And he's like, got to get in front of that ball. Get in front of that ball. Oh, I remember that. yelling at me to get in bulldog. Is that what he said? Yeah, yeah. I'd want to sit back and let it come to me.

He's like, charge the ball. You attack the ball. dog it. And, you know, after hours of that, a week for weeks and weeks, by the end, you know, you've rushed toward it because you've eaten so many to the chest, you realize it's not going to hurt that bad. I never ate one in the mouth, luckily. Yeah, it was good times. I remember playing catch with my dad in the backyard after baseball, and he clearly, this was before I had ever played hockey, and he was like, oh, thank God, he's decent at a sport. And he used to, like, throw it at me so fucking hard. I think he was, I think he was mad at me.

I used to be scared. He'd be like, Taylor, grab your glove. We're playing catch. I'd be like, oh, God. And he'd just wind up and pitch it at me, basically. Oh, yeah. And my dad was an athlete. And so I was always so scared to play.

My dad, my dad. My dad traveled in a, like, men's softball league that, like, fast pitch for, like, until he was 45 or something like that. He took it super seriously. There was, like, money and championships. And they'd play all over the southeast and travel around. So, like, he took it very seriously. And it was the only sport I was even a little bit good at, too. I was so bad at basketball.

Oh, I think we played, I've played one game. And it was like, this is not, this is not Kyle's sport. This is not it. Yeah, I never in, go ahead, sorry. I was going to say, that's like a core memory. If you play baseball is like your dad, like, I was, I was an MVP when I was 12. way that type of shit what are you doing no he's got all these trophy that's how it was that's exactly it his his shop was full of trophies it was it was it was dozens of trophies from from like bow competitions

and softball leagues it was nothing but that that's all he did and so it was like you better be good at baseball or daddy's not going to love you that would yeah that that's when i finally secured my father's love was when he got me into hockey. And I had a use, a use case to him because my God, soccer, baseball. I was in soccer,

I was the like chasing bugs kid. In baseball, I was not useful. I often lost my attention span and then the ball would go right by me. Yikes. That was, that was,

that was an idea. That was, oh, that was either a screamman or a very silent ride home in the car. Were your parents ever recording? Did they have the big VHS camera

like out in the stands recording? They didn't start recording until I started playing hockey. They didn't want to remember that shame. Oh, that's funny. I think you could have been a good wrestler. I think you've got the, like, that damn near Simeon physique for it.

And you just need to tolerate the... My eighth index is good. I have long arms, yeah. Really? That is called an ape index. Yeah, you know. Yeah. You kind of built for wrestling, but I think part of being good at wrestling is enduring the practice and not everyone enjoys that kind of discomfort. I wrestled in middle school and I was good at it. I wrestled at 1.45 in middle school. And I was a junior year. I was a really, I was a big kid. And my coach, I don't want to say his name because it's so distinctive. people could find him but uh coach mule he was a collegiate wrestler and he coached us and he realized

i wasn't you know the best at all of the little things but that i was very strong compared to the other kids my size and so he was like taylor this is legal i don't want you to do this to any of your practice partners here but i want you to do this at the meets i want you to square up like you're going to wrestle and then i want you to throw your forearm as hard as you can against the the other person's collarbone. Don't swing it. Just punch it. Don't swing it.

Just punch it. And then I want you to grab, once it's been punched, to grab the back of his neck and then spin him down to the ground. And it was maybe one of, other than hockey stuff, it was my most glorious sporting moment

of my entire life in seventh or eighth grade. And I got up there and I was lining up with this kid and I remembered Coach Mule. He's like, I was like, don't, don't swing it, just punch it. Don't swing it. Just punch it. And so me and this other poor kid are lined up.

I had hit puberty earlier. And so this kid was shorter and more overweight. And I hit this kid so fucking hard in the collarbone that he was like I saw his face was like he was scared. And I spun him down and I pinned him. And of course it was a wrestling. I pinned him very early. And of course it was a wrestling.

me. So I leave. My dad was so proud of me. That was a good thing. And my mom was there. And so I go back to the little sidelines where they make you wait. And he's like, yes, perfect. Next match, I want you to do that exact same thing again. And I was like, awesome. And so I went out for the next one, you know, 20 minutes later when my next thing was up. And we lined up. And I popped this other kid, hard as fuck. But won that one too. My third and final one, I was standing next to this other kid who was maybe, you know, six, seven inches shorter than me, but much more rotund. And he looked at me. He was from this other school.

And he goes, hey, I saw you wrestle earlier. I'm afraid of you. Oh, no. He told me that. Because I was a big 13, 14 year old. And so we get out there. And I do the same thing again, because Coach Mule said, don't. change what's what's working and so i swung at him again more confident than ever this kid

backed up and fleed and i swung so hard that i fell on my own face and then i had to like scramble and get up and then the rest of the match was me like like chasing this kid around the circle until i could eventually get a purchase on him and then once i once i got that purchase on him it was over, but that was, that was it. And then after eight three- He might as well done some WWF shit at that point, pretend like your hand was possessed or something. Well, that time I got to actually use a technique

where the kid was laying on his belly and he was very heavy. And so I was trying to do and Coach Mule was yelling at me like, Half-Nallon! Half-Nallon! Flip him! He was incredibly aggressive. The other coaches weren't screaming. But he would scream at me to do that. And that was my only victim. in middle school wrestling because the meat after that I went up against this similarly

sized to me really jacked Asian kid and he clearly knew more than the punch hit maneuver because he beat he beat me he he pinned me with techniques and and some sort of some sort of oriental maneuvers and he got me some sort of mysticism I think And then after eighth grade, my real hockey coach was like, you can't do wrestling and hockey. You have to pick one. And I was like, over the same season. Yeah. And I was like, all right.

Well, high school is when I get to when I have to wear a singlet and I can't wear like the shorts anymore. And even at that age, I'm like, I don't want my belly in this singling. I'm doing hockey. I think the singlet's a problem. They really had to have like more shorts and rash cards. They would make switch into that. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Like the Olympics and like for everywhere?

Oh, well, Olympics, no, collegiate now, but like high school level, they're switching to that, which probably means it's going to make its way up eventually. I don't know about, I don't know about Olympics, but it wouldn't surprise me if you start seeing that at the college level at some point. It's a better spectator sport like that. Like one of the things that whenever I watch them, like, man, I could talk myself into watching Jits, but this is gay. Like there's his cockhead right there It's a little guy I can't So most of the UFC fighters now They used to wear board shorts

And then there was a time where they sort of chose Between board shorts and like What I'll call like cycling shorts Yeah yeah bicycling shorts And now almost everyone wears bicycle shorts And I don't know why it looks less gay than a singlet I mean it literally covers even less But it vibes less gay to me

I think yeah I like the fight gear they have now It looks good it comes up higher I think than some of the older stuff remember when the guy lost the bet and he wore the Speedo? Yes. Matt something.

Training masks. This guy lost the vet. And they're like and farting out of Matt, blah, blah, blah. And here he comes out of the back wearing a blue speedo that's, he had a logo on it. Is that?

Can you find this? I'm pretty sure his name's Matt Riddle. And it was Dana White in the post fight. You know, like like a post-event press conference like that will never happen again ever i'm told he lost a bet he sure did you will never see him out there and he will never see anything he was disgusting you saw it right it was disgusting did he win no nobody remembers he put a bounty on him before the fight he offered

his opponent extra money to i don't know if it was to knock him out or get him out of there early or something yeah and uh Dana he hated it from the start didn't like what it said about his whole sport and incentivize the guy to get him out early. I don't remember how the fight went. It is a bad look for the sport. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was a...

Although I'd be down for the women to wear something more like that. That'd be kind of cool. I don't even remember what they wear. They wear shorts, too. Some of them wear like shirts, like rash guard tops. Yeah, that was his ass kicked in a speed. Yeah, that's the guy. That's the guy, yeah.

He looks good in it He's pretty fit Would I write his name is Matt Riddell? Did anyone Oh, I don't I don't bet that's Oh, Dennis Holman Is what Zach says

Oh, sorry, I got it wrong Yeah, it's a bad look man And he shaved his chest too He shaved everything, it looks like You gotta go all out for that, you know Not the chest though That's gonna get prickly You don't want to see arm hair

He likes to be smooth I don't see leg hair So he's got a fucking pimples on his arm. Maybe that's where he's... Yeah, that's the steroids, though. This dude's fucking huge. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, those marks are from steroids?

Acne. Oh, you get forearm acne from steroids? Yeah, yeah. Usually on your delts and like a little bit down by, like, the side of your bicep. Like, I got acne on my delts and on my back, like, like, not a higher dose. like sure i had to like start baiting three times a day and using a lufa and all sorts of products to keep that in check it's a problem damn well shame for poor mr holman there what do you think about this uh matt riddle was the other guy okay got a couple good cards

coming up this this month scott or next month it's almost may uh which are you more excited about the Strickland-Comzot fight or some of that shit that's on Netflix? That's that's that's a tough one because me like I'm not I'm not someone who's like always like I don't care that much about the pinnacle of the sport. I just like fun fights. So it's like it's it's tough for me to choose between those two. When it comes to the White House card though, honestly I'm pretty disappointed with that. I think I'm more excited for the for the Netflix one. Oh. I really want to. want to see the ill i guess i want to see ilia like like just do his thing but i don't think it's a

good matchup i think he's going to starch gaichi and it's going to make me feel bad because i like gaet i do like peria like step it up and trying to be a triple champ that's kind of cool to me that's my that's the biggest fight of the night for me um but on that netflix card i kind of want to see like uh ronda fight again like i'm i'm cool with that like i'm not against that all those fights are pretty good is nade on that card is he fighting um what's his name Mike Perry. Mike Perry, that's a banger. I think they match up well. I bet I predict blood. There's going to be a lot of blood in that fight. Mike Perry is going to beat Nick Diaz's face off, or Nate Diaz's face off. Yeah, it's, that's kind of, that's kind of the thing is like the

White House card, like, you know, there's some names on there. Like, I like I like Yeliotop Warrior, but like, it's supposed to be the White House card. Like, you should, like, Kobe Covington, you could have put them on there. Like, you could have, you could have, you could have Americans fighting Americans, or you could have did what you do in the Middle East where, like, they put Muslims against like Glass Joe. Yep. You know, it's like Mohammed Ab, the killer, Al-Baghdadi versus one-armed Tommy. It's like they do it.

They do it. Mexico, they do it. When they go to Brazil, they do it. When they go to Canada, they do it. When they go to the UK, they do it. But for some reason, our White House card isn't stacked up for Americans to, win 80, 90% of the fights, it feels like. Yeah.

Although one of the fights I'm now excited about, and I'm, like, I like this Josh Hawket guy. And I love that, like, just because Trump said, hey, why is it Derek Lewis on the White House card at that last event? Dana's like, you want him on the car? And, like, just calls up Derek Lewis. Derek says yes to fighting Hockett. Hockett's getting in an ambulance when he agrees to the fight.

Like, I'm down for that. A Hocket looked great. I've never seen that much output from a heavyweight. And I like the shtick. I like that W.W.E. Stick up there, like rhyming and talking shit and being obnoxious. I like it. Do American fighters have any good lineups in the White House card?

Sure. I've seen the card. I just haven't seen the – like, it's been a while, so I forget exactly who's on there. Yeah, the two main fights that I care about, I guess, is Toporio versus Gaichi and Gone versus – Perea. So this Georgian guy is going to beat the fuck out of Gehji?

Pretty much. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, Scott, the Strickland fight. If you had to bet on Strickland, what odds would you take to make you say yes? You know, I'm not a gambling guy, so I don't even know how all that works 100%, but like, it is. three to one five to one straight up yeah i'd i'd say i'd say five to one yeah three three to one kind of you know

that kind of um well like i want strickling to win that that like and it's it's it's it's for poll like not even political more just like salty reasons like i'm kind of tired of the whole like mountain russian muslim guy coming in and laying on people so like i think it would be better all around if like especially Strickland because like and and like to take it to a political place I guess like I don't love Strickland he's not like my guy politically necessarily but like the most annoying people in the world make no differentiation between me and him so it's like yeah okay I want that guy to win just so I don't have to listen to the most annoying people in the world you know yeah

like will he win you know funny funny enough if anybody right now was going to beat him I feel like Strickland would be the one. I just don't think he will, you know. I think Usman put up a really good fight against him. He didn't go to Usman like he did everybody else. It was a three-round fight. Usman had no camp. I wish that they had done a rematch between those two with a full camp and do a five round like Comain or something. Whatever it takes to get him into five rounds. Because I thought Usman put up a hell of a fight against him. He looked good. He really did. Usman will be 39. Yeah, it didn't matter. That's been a couple years now, probably three or something now since that fight.

So I wish they'd made a quicker rematch, I suppose. But I don't know. I just don't see. I see him taking Strickland down and smothering him the same way DDP took Strickland down. You know, Comzot did the same thing to DDP. It's like small fish, medium fish, big fish. I don't think somehow the small fish is going to do better against big fish than medium fish. Diamond Dallas Page.

Yeah, it's going to be rough. It's my, it's literally my birthday. It's, and I like Strickland a lot. I really like his, I like guys who have, who talk shit and have a stick. And whether it's like what they actually believe or they're putting on a show like Chale Sunnan and just making up rhymes that are silly and goofy. I appreciate somebody going to the extra effort and not being some silent Brazilian who just sits there and just, yes.

And then it gets translated. He said yes. Like, that pours the fuck out of me. so I like Strickland a lot and I hate Kamsa. I hate him. I saw him coming as like the Terminator years ago. I remember seeing him training and he's like jumping rope at 3 a.m. It's his fourth workout of the day and he's outside in the dark and his coach, his coach is like, what kind of speed do you have? Superhuman speed coach? How strong are you? Stronger than the mountain coach? How long are you? Longer than the river coach? And like all the like, like what kind of

condition you have superhuman conditioning coach and he's just whoop-w-whoop-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w. And I'm like, fuck, this guy is scary. It's like that scene in Rocky 2 where you see that Clever Lang is off somewhere just taking it to another level. This is personal to him.

He's not smooching fucking babes at some Gold's gym. He's in there like working hard and he's determined to like kill. That guy is mean. I don't know who's going to deal with Kamsat. It's scary. And that's the thing is like like I don't know if it makes me hate him more or if it makes me respect him the fact that like

when I see someone like Habib truthfully I see somebody who like ducked anybody who was like a real threat to him and then also there was that fight with glacin t bow where like he lost but he was gifted a win um like like Islam I think he's actually better than him duck uh Tony Ferguson that's not true no he definitely did that that that let that that let that let that Last, they tried to make that fight four times and it fell through not every time because of Habib, but like especially that fourth time, uh, it was during COVID. And he was told, hey, don't leave the country because you might not be able to get back in. He's like, brother, brother. I, it will be okay.

And then he goes back to Russia and then he can't get back in the country. So it fell through. And, and that's where, that's where, uh, Gaichi versus, uh, Tony happened where Tony Ferguson started is, is like prolific skid. was because of that that fight that wasn't even supposed to happen at that time, you know? I don't think, I don't think Habib would have that to him. So they wouldn't let him leave the country

during a COVID lockdown and that's Khabib skipping it after the fourth time? His literally failed on that weight cut that time too. Yeah. And then two of the times Khab had injured, I think. And then Tony blew his knee out, tripping over a power cord wearing sunglasses

indoors like a jabroney. Can you imagine? Like, Like, Taylor, this guy had to win, like, 16 fights in a row to finally earn his title shot. It's his entire existence. He's already a quirky guy. I mean, he's weird. And he always wears his sunglasses indoors, the goober. And, like, he's got the fight.

They're doing, like, press for the fight. It's in, like, a week or two or something like that. And backstage, he trips over, like, a media cameras, power. Oh, backstage, like, the night of? Not the night of, but doing the press for it. Like, like, doing, like, interviews for it. because it's imminent. Like he trips and like fucks his knee up bad.

Like blows some tendons or ligaments or some shit. And then like rehabs it himself like something out of a movie. Like refuses help. And like in his training, he still has the red, not even pink yet scar. Like you can see each of the stitches. He's kicking steel poles in his backyard. Hayah! Hayah!

Hayah! And you're like, and it's going ping! And you're like, oh my God. God, there's no, and he came back and he won. He came back and he won. And then he lost, and then he lost, and then he lost. Who did he beat? I don't remember.

I don't remember. But he lost every fight after that one, I think, for like ever. I think he won some bullshit boxing match. They set up a few months back six months back. He celebrated like he just won like the lightweight title finally. He was like on the ground crying on his knees and stuff. And it's like, bro, come on. It was salt poppy.

What? He fought that guy who goes like that. It literally was. He's not even like joking. It was like, he fought the sock guy. Yeah. He fought the sock guy and he beat him and he celebrated like he won a title.

That's hilarious. Wow. I didn't realize that guy's not a fighter, right? He's a restaurant owner. Yeah. He also does cool stuff with salt. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. All right. I'm mixing up salt. Bay with Salt Poppy. That's Zach corrected me. Oh, I am too. I am too. I don't watch boxing. Salt, poppy has had like five or six fights,

but like that's not the same as Tony Ferguson by any of it. I feel bad for Tony Ferguson. I think Tony Ferguson's injury extended the amount of time people thought he was good. Like if you look at that amazing win streak he had, there's not a lot of amazing names on it. and by getting out of fighting,

Khabibh repeatedly, you know, he sort of kept it alive. Yeah. See, this guy is who I want walking out when I'm at Habachi. I was drinking the Tony Ferguson Kool-Aid.

Like, like I had 100%, like we all go through that phase where we believe kung fu is the shit. You know, we watched me Bruce Lee movies when we're kids or whatever. And you see them like,

and then it was Shaolin monks. and then it was some other nonsense maybe just boxing, just rocky or something like that. And then we saw what the UFC was about. But then there was Tony Ferguson being weird, doing that gymnastics training

where he bounced around like a spider with like elastic cables tied to him, like crawling like a monkey with resistance bands and doing all this capoeira, doing all this dance fighting, and like all sorts. Like he'd spin, there'd be like a takedown attempt on him

and he'd do like these crazy rolls he'd do like ninja rolls and stuff and like again all that endurance training like crazy endurance training that you didn't see anybody else doing and kicking steel poles and he had like built a training facility

up in like altitude and he'd go up there like a monk and do all this crazy stuff and then sure enough he'd go fight and he'd just elbow somebody into oblivion and they'd look like they'd been hit by a Buick just huge gashes and cuts and closed eyes and split lips and stuff. I was totally bought in.

I thought he was the man. I thought that if that if Khabib took him down and tried to climb him like an anaconda, he'd be eating so many razor sharp elbows from Tony Ferguson. By the time he got to his waist, he'd be just butchered. I thought he'd be cut, fight-ending cuts or like blinding cuts that would make the later rounds go Tony's way. I always believe that. I wish we had that thought too. And Scott accurately pointed out that after he fought Gaichi, he was never the same fighter.

He was also 36 years old when he fought Gaichi. Like how many people continued to fight well after 36, especially at 155? Alex Perez. He might be my goat. Heavy weights can fight a long time. This was at 155 pounds. He was a middle weight and then a light heavy weight. And now he's a heavy weight.

Well, he wasn't old at middleweight, though. But like. fair. He was at his youngest at middle weight that he aged into 205 and now he's aging into like 265 or whatever and but as far as

if he takes his belt and maybe defends it at least once like certainly if he takes he's in the goat conversation for sure right like like I like I like him on the mic I like the way he fights like I mean I like this guy a lot as far as best ever

maybe maybe who's better ESP, Kabeb, John Jones? Like, does Prime Kane Velazquez? Like, what does he do against Pereira? Like, what about Prime? I never understood Kane Velasquez, like, the legend around that guy. How many title defenses does he have two? I don't remember.

You didn't need that many back then, though. Like, like, I think it was, like, about 10 years ago where, uh, Steppe. He had three. and that was like that was like had never been done before yeah three defenses kind of four title fights because they don't the first one's not a defense

the thing about Kane was that he was really like he had good cardio for a heavyweight and he was really athletic so like I think it was easy to be like I think it's easy to try and stack them up you know he said something interesting about his cardio he's like everyone thought my cardio was

better than it really was the truth is it was just a little bit better than the other guys he's like and i knew that you know i'm exhausted too i'm struggling just less than him and i was like oh that's that's kind of badass you know like yeah my cardio's not a bottomless well it's it's it just worked a little harder than him that's why that hockett fight was so good because the output i i don't know if it was the most uh significant strikes thrown in a heavyweight match but i bet it's i bet it is i bet it's top three or something like that. They were throwing for all the whole fight

back in the room and Curtis Blades just ate it all on the chin, nose, and forehead. His face looked rough. He was all swollen and cut up and Hockett still had some, I mean, he was slowing down for sure, but the output was there all

through the whole fight. It was a it was one of the best heavyweight fights I've ever seen because most heavyweight fights are kind of boring. There's a lot of fat so there's way too many fat soes. I don't know how you're the number one fighting association in the world

and you've got that many heavyweight fat soes. It's a bad look. Who's he fighting on the White House card? Derek Lewis. I'm here to watch. Derek Lewis going to knock him out. If you can do it in the first round, he will. I don't see second or third.

Remember when Derek went to the fifth round with like Spivok or something? that big Russian fucker. He was beat. But he had one punch left at him. I don't remember it was a three-rounder or a five-rounder, but Derek looked like it'd been a five-rounder. And he's just hands on his knees. And any time they were not directly engaged and then dukes up when the guy closes the distance.

And that Russian had fucked him up the whole fight. And I think DC or somebody was like, he's got to do something. And we got about a minute left. And sure enough, he starched that motherfucker one-punched, K.O. And it was such a moment. And like he got that took him on like a new like trajectory in his career. If he lost that one, I'll take hockey in a row.

I'll take a one dollar or five dollars you choose. Five. Okay. Yeah, I just think 28 year olds beat 41 year olds. I think Hawket is going to eat the punch. I think that Derek's just got that one punch, K.O. power.

And he's just got to hit him once. And that's going to be it. Whereas Hawking, I mean, Hawkeet couldn't knock out blades and he gave blades off, whooping. I don't think you're not, no. Yeah.

It's great fire. Oh, that's my first bet of that card. Yeah. What do you think of any on the Netflix card that you think are interesting? Because I think Rhonda's easily going to be Corona. Absolutely. Absolutely, Rhonda wins. Arm bar?

Is it going to be a classic Rhonda? Oh, my God. If Rhonda thinks she's good at striking now. But then again, maybe she is compared to Gina. I don't know. She's not fighting Nunes anymore. Have you seen Rhonda's traps in those interviews? What the fuck?

Is she on Roids, you think? I mean, those aren't. They respond to the rats. She's an Olympic athlete. She's always been a big girl. She's always been pretty well built. What are they fighting at? Do you know the weight?

Is it 145? You'd think. Yeah. So Dana White wanted that fight. Dana White offered that fight and gave Ron, like he rolled out the bag for Rhonda. And then the pay-per-view went away. couldn't offer the same deal and they couldn't take the deal he offered because Gina needed

more time to get in shape because she's a fat piece of shit and uh I mean she's she's fighting from you know a difficult position she's got 15 pounds and tits would he like that's thinking she's fighting about but uh yeah yeah GD needed a long time to get in shape so they couldn't get the bag and now they're on Netflix where they get a different bag I don't know if it's better and worse. Well, Rhonda claimed the bottom of the card was making 40-40, I think. I think that's what you said. Yeah.

I know it was leaked recently that the undercard at the apex was 12-12. UFC, 12-12. And it's like, really after the Paramount deal in the year 2026, it's still 12-12. I swear to God. You don't adjust for inflation even? What the fuck. Right? Like it's been 1212 for

Five years now it used to be like 8 8 8 But that was like 20 years ago it was 8 8 8 now it's 12 12 It's crazy They need to take like UFC bottom of the card and compare it to rent like they do minimum wage Just see how like how many fights it takes to make your rent Yeah yeah it wouldn't work They're not getting three fights a year There's 12 12 guys like that's rough shit

I don't know how you make And you know obviously what we know they've got a team, they've got a coach, they got maybe even a nutritionist if they can afford one. Then they got their life. They got like a foreman. They got a manager.

They're a blimpies or something like that. Responsibilities. Yeah, it's it's rough, man. I don't like that for the sport because like as much as I don't like the big guys making as much as they do and I don't make the little, I don't like the little guys making so little. because I think when the big guys make so much, they don't fight as much,

they don't take as many fights. And when the little guys aren't getting paid, they go to other sports where they will get paid or they get real fucking jobs and give up on their dream and never become that guy who's okay at first, but like rounds a corner and like becomes the guy at 23 or 24 or something like that. You don't get that guy because he couldn't afford to make it in the sport that long. What's the bottom pay in MLB, NFL, NHL,

I bet it's hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Yeah. I know it is. I think it's seven digits in the NBA. I don't know what a rookie contract. Oh, well, I'm not counting like the 10-day contracts and stuff, but it's the drafted guys. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an unpopular position that like the stars in the UFC don't earn too much, right? But I used to have the unpopular position of I hate other fight organizations existing. Like when pride was a thing. And you get Chuck Liddell over there in the UFC. Well, he did fight in pride a little bit, but you didn't get the fight you wanted. I wanted to see Prime Chuck against Dan Henderson all the time.

Let's see him fight Shogun. Let's roll this stuff out. What can the axe murderer do in the UFC? We never got Fador, you know? Kind of never got Fador. That's a great one. When you have great fighters in different organizations, then they don't fight each other. I hate that.

You watch those old Fador clips? He seems so fast. He seems so fast for a heavy wave. It's like, like, what do you wait? 230? Oh, I don't know. It fluctuated over the years. 30, 240.

It's a shame. And then I. Top heavy weights weigh that. I wish that it paid more at the bottom. I wish that they reached out to like the guys who don't quite make an NFL team or quite like that. And we're trying to put them in some sort of farm league or something like that and pay them a salary. I know, I know a guy got drafted who never played football this year in the NFL.

because he's like 6-4, to 300 pounds or something. He's an incredible, runs like a 4-6. This giant specimen of a man never played football before. What position? Do you know?

I don't know. They'll figure that out. They'll figure that. Exactly. And then meanwhile, I can't remember what school he went to. He was the runner-up to the Heisman. That guy's like, he's very short.

He's like 5-8. Undrafted. Vanderbilt. Venderville. Pavila, something like that yeah yeah you watch his interviews and the like bodacious blonde they've got on the mic is like head and shoulders taller than him yeah he didn't get drafted at all yeah well if you're five eight you're not you know that might cut it in at vanderbilt but not not the NFL no you're not

going to be able to throw over those gigantic o line see over them corn fed Nebraska boys yeah you can't see over them they'd rather have someone that had all the physical attributes that they can build on and train up and and get good at a thing than a guy who has only a couple of archetypes of offense. He could even run that little fellow. You could put him in big shoes. I was thinking like, wouldn't lifts be useful at all in sports?

He needs stilts. Well, he's too short, but like, is there a place for lips to just see a little bit better, I guess? I think lifts for him would get him to like five, nine and a half. I still don't think that's going to cut it. They're already in cleats. Those O-line guys are pretty big. Yeah.

All right. Well, I guess that's a wrap. I think so. Yeah. Everybody check out Scott's channel linked below. PKK coming on, man. 802.