Painkiller Already - PKA 804 W/ Doug Polk: Finding Your Famous Ex GF

Episode Date: May 16, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. PKK 8-4 with my fight. financial advisor, Doug Polk. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Club. WPT. Gold, also brought to you by lock and load and our wonderful merchandise. Doug, it's been a long time. How are you? I'm good. I think I'm a little early. Normally I come here every three years,

but I think this is only year two. So, you know, we're slowly increasing the frequency, right? Every now and then we check in. So we'll see you next. Can you remove him? Yeah. It's not really to happen. Every now and then I'll do something and I'll just see one comment like, hey, is this that guy on PCA?

We get that a lot. Like comedians in particular, like in person, they'll be like, oh, you're from PKK, you're on PKK. You wouldn't think the show would be like noticed as much. But yeah. It's funny when you see like little pockets of PKK. that end up overlapping in something, you know? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we got some good, good people out there. So I like- So I think we've all agreed NPCs have been kind of put to bed, but how do we feel about- NFTs? NFTs, that's yeah, NPCs is a video game thing. I didn't know there with a debate on NPCs. Yeah, my bad, my bad.

I'm in favor of NPCs. Video games would not be fun without them. Like, it was just, you run around Skyrim, fuck that. Who's your favorite? I deserve this, I deserve this. But are we starting like crypto? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I would say like I'm a little less pro crypto than before, but I still have crypto. I'm still like a crypto guy. I still believe in it. So like, yeah, I think like broadly speaking, it's grown so much in the last, you know, 10, 12 years. Like I, when did I first come on here like nine years ago or something? We're talking about it? Something like that. Seven years ago. Yeah. I wasn't prepared for this test. What's up? I wasn't prepared for this test. whatever was

well I came on here and I was getting made fun of a little bit and like I think those would have been some good purchases overall Yes Well I don't know about the NFTs but the Crypto stuff It's probably higher than it was when you said to buy it

I think sure probably Yeah But I mean I'm more of a diversified guy Like I just like to have lots of good stuff Crypto is part of it Real estate stocks businesses like I try to have like a nice spread out strategy, you know?

So you're not one of those, because I know a lot of crypto guys who are like, don't buy anything but Bitcoin. All the other ones are stupid. Bitcoin's the only way. And it's like, yeah. So actually, most of my friends were like that when I got into it. And now I'm by far the poorest. So who am I to say? I mean, like, obviously you don't want your retirement in like Poocoin or like any of those nonsense. What was the dog one? Dogecoin. Doge coin. A lot of people got rich on Doge.

Maybe actually that's a bad example. I own Dogecoin the month it launched. I owned some. I was looking at my like trade history and I was in there at this. I mean, I didn't buy a whole Doge. I'm not going to do. That's crazy. But you know, um, basically I think like broadly speaking with crypto, just own the good shit.

You know, like the top couple like Bitcoin, Ethereum, maybe Solano, whatever it is. And then I think you're good. Like you don't, you don't got to get into all like the crazy shit trading stuff and trying to like time the market and trying to like see what the next big coin is i i feel like there's so many people just trying to gamble you know now where it's like i just want to get rich quick like wall street bets right wall street bets basically that that kind of culture exists in everything but it's especially in crypto where people just want to take big risks because they hear the stories but you know i think like the big the big assets are still good and they'll still continue to be

good this year specifically i think is kind of scary for crypto for a couple of reasons The first is there is just so much AI development. And they're like this most recent one with mythos where it's like the AI can figure out bugs in software and vulnerabilities. That's pretty scary stuff, I think, for most infrastructure for decentralized finance. So, you know, we saw a couple of huge hacks in the last few months where like several hundred million was hacked, right? And I think we're going to see a lot more of that as the AI stuff scales up. So right now specifically is a little more dangerous than I think. think in the past.

Mythos. Is that the one where you mentioned that it finds security flaws? Did it like drop fine security flaws in like every hecking bank and then the government like made it stay as some sort of private thing that they're keeping to themselves at first? Is that mythos or something else? I think that's mythos. Yeah. So I don't think mythos is publicly available.

I think I don't know if it was government required it, but Anthropic was basically like, okay if we just release this shit's going to get real bad so we're going to like notify people and we'll let them know these bugs and we'll do this privately and then we'll scale from there but part of that is was that just advertising right like our next shit guys so fucking good destroyed everything yeah it would break my next project is so amazing it would destroy the world if you saw it yeah yeah okay by the way our company is currently valued at no I'm just So, AI in general is kind of scary for a lot of crypto stuff because there are all these different ways to attack it. Bitcoin specifically, I don't think that's too much the case.

But then there are some Bitcoin scares, right? So quantum computing can break old Bitcoin seeds, basically. And most Bitcoin is in newer wallets that has protection against that because it's more advanced. But the old Bitcoin wallets do not. specifically Satoshi, his wallet still has, I think, a million Bitcoin. And that is vulnerable to quantum computing because he never moved it. So there's going to happen. So eventually that, eventually one of two things will happen.

One, Satoshi is going to move it himself. And it looks very likely Satoshi's dead. I mean, everyone, and there are people claiming to be Satoshi, but the most likely thing is he's dead. Because how do you just hold one million coins from like two cents to $80,000? I mean, it's very unlikely. It's not impossible, it's very unlikely. So either he's going to move it or someone will, right? And when that happens, it's going to be pandemonium for Bitcoin because all of a sudden, when those coins move, when the first coin moves out of that wallet or all the coins move, most likely the person that gets to those coins is going to try and sell them, right?

So the price will get absolutely smashed when that happens. Now, it'll be a short term thing, right? Like eventually it'll stabilize. It'll lose a ton of value. but you know what should happen with those should they be allowed to be hacked or not there's a bunch of like theoretical questions how many bitcoin are in existence if he has a if they're essentially there's essentially a reserve right now of a million bitcoins that won't haven't can't move maybe that's definitely propping up the price creating a little bit of scarcity how much scarcity is it creating though how many bitcoins are in existence so there's going to be 21 million bitcoin eventually that's a big deal

the current number 5%. It's yeah, I mean, it would be real bad, real, real bad when this day happens. But I think there's 17 million in existence right now that they mine more, right? Like as Bitcoin gets mined more and more. By the way, I've not talked crypto in so long. It's like actually kind of funny. I hop on like, all right, go guys, here. Let's talk about Bitcoin.

Let's just pick up the conversation from 2014. This is all news to us. I don't know anything about it. I'm happy to talk about that. I like crypto. It's a cool subject. But I just want to, I want to just be really clear.

Like, I'm not the crypto expert guy. I, please, I'm pretty knowledgeable, but I'm not like, sure. I'm not Satoshi.

Okay. Yeah. I think you're interesting. Maybe no one. Maybe he's like a, maybe he's not even a real guy. Maybe it was some government agent. Oh.

Maybe it was all a setup to decrease their own value of their, their, uh, fee of currency. I don't know. That's right. don't know again that seems like an area that would be rich with conspiracy opportunities of and i'm sure people have done it like who is sotoshi is that his real name is it really a japanese guy who's

just really really patient or no he's a yeah probably probably not there are a couple other scary things for bitcoin too though um so there's a company called micro strategy you guys familiar with this company yes yeah i actually looked at he the owner of that company sailor is he he he he he in trouble in the early 2000s, correct, for some sort of misrepresent. I know the SEC got on his ass and like bankrupted his company for a while and you know more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So basically, I mean, I don't know Saylor's full backstory, a bit out there in terms of like personality and his interviews and stuff like that. But he basically has a company where their only thing is they buy Bitcoin. And then when they buy Bitcoin, he gets debt against the company and you're never going to believe what he does with that debt. he buys more bitcoin so he's running essentially it's an elegant Ponzi scheme in my opinion but at the end of the day it's kind of a Ponzi scheme ish but as long as bitcoin price never crashes or doesn't crash substantially slash if it does crash he can wait out a period until it rises he's going to be okay but you're starting to see how there could be dominoes like let's just say Satoshi's while it gets it gets hacked right yeah those close coins flood the market. Price crashes. Now micro strategy, they have like 800,000 Bitcoin or something, 700,000, something like that. All of a sudden, they can't make payments on their debt and the value of what they owe compared to what they have is down. And all of a sudden, they have to sell Bitcoin. And now the price crashes more. And there could be, there could be like a series of cascading events that are really, really, really bad. So Bitcoin kind of has some concerns there. And then like the things like Ethereum and Solana are quite vulnerable to.

attacks from from this AI stuff so this would I would say is like one of the scarier times to own crypto compared to historically but I still think that as a general asset class is still a good asset class that would be a disaster like if Satoshi's wallet got compromised if between Satoshi who nobody knows who it is and Michael Saylor's micro strategy that's like 10% of all the Bitcoin right there huge number yeah it's a huge amount of the Bitcoin that's bananas the thing I know about him most is like even when the price tanks, I saw him getting shit when it like the price went up briefly and he had a buy order, I guess at like 85,000 a while ago. Similar numbers.

And then he like bought 100,000 of them or some crazy amount. And then two days later, it's like down to 72. So it's like you just entered at a horrible price. And now it's down again. I don't know how that business works. Well, yeah. I mean now like when Bitcoin price goes up, it's like, oh, it looks like sailor guys next round in. You know, it's just, I mean, because he's always buying, right?

He's buying at any price whenever he has the cash. So he's constantly pumping the price up and then there are other people that want to sell. But, you know, I don't know what Saylor's long term thinking is. But if we wanted to compare it to like another company, what's it called De Beers, the diamond company, right? They basically just got all the diamonds, right? And then if you want diamonds, like step into my office, it's going to be pretty expensive. In theory, gets out of the Bitcoin, the supply gets low enough outside of what he owns. the price could kind of exponentially go up

because there's such limited supply compared to what is not available that he owns. So there's some element of that going on here. I think he also just believes in Bitcoin in general he's a massive Bitcoin guy. I mean, there's a reason he went all in on it. But I've seen stuff like this before, you know, and generally speaking, it ends badly.

That doesn't mean it will, but it's certainly risky for Bitcoin that that's going on. It's something else that makes me think I'm not going to invest in micro strategy, personally because you go to his Twitter account and like anytime Bitcoin goes down or up or whatever, it's just him posting AI images of himself like as a pirate on a ship with a like jacked with an eye patch on being like hold forever. And it's like, well, of course you want that. Like you want as many people to hold and buy. So you would trust a guy who does who posts AI images of himself

all the time like the president of the United States. No, those are some of the most insane images ever. I'm so glad Kyle said in. I didn't have to. I think I think I should definitely make myself Jesus. People are going to like this. The one Trump post, I think it was a couple weeks ago, where he posted at 4 a.m. A picture of him like with an assault rifle and is like Iran better to be ready for because of what it. It's like this is just unhinged behavior.

Like completely unhinged. And also you know. more in the morning. You know that, because you know when you make an AI image, sometimes you have to revise it. I guarantee there are like follow-ups where it's like thinner waist, bigger arms, like wider shoulder. Like there's no way he's going with the stock, you know, pudgy look.

He's got to be jack. You're saying he doesn't look like that image? No. Are you? Sometimes I'm blown away. You know that thing Michael Jackson used to do with the cutout on the back of his shoes to like hook in a nail? Sometimes you'll see Trump from the side.

and he's leaning so far forward. I'm like, what's keeping him up? Like, what's, how is he not toppling? Did you see a statue? Because I thought his statue was a fair rendering of him. Like, I didn't feel like it was too, like they didn't make him look like what's felt. What I saw was like an AI rendering of what it was going to be. Does it exist?

Oh, yeah, it's down there in Florida. There's a 30-foot tall golden statue of Donald Trump that looks so much like Saddam Hussein. Stain's famous statue. Oh, I saw this. Yeah. No, you're right. This statue has a belly. That's still flattering.

No. Where do you think the flattery is taking place exactly? Okay, one, I think Trump is even fatter than that. Two, Trump can't stand upright like that. He would be leading forward. I've sought. I mean, you know what we need to see? The thing you're thinking of there was a podium in front of him, right?

With his holding himself up. he's being held down by like a dozen men and yet he's still standing tall, Woody. Oh my God, get his cock out of your mouth. Can you breathe? Are you okay? He looked like a running back. He looked like a billdozer being held back by the entire Dozer.

He doesn't hold any Texas from your entire dozer. Bro, you say what you want about Trump. That was a moment. Where's the lottery? He was shot at. People died. He was shot at. People died, no doubt. The statue was gold. You don't think he was shot?

Do you think the blood was fake? No, I think the blood was from the pistol. Yeah, there's a pretty popular theory out there that while the Secret Service was protecting him with his body, the holstered gun hit his ear. And there's video footage of this. And that could be, look, I saw Mike Tyson's ear that was bit. 30 years later, look, mangled as fuck. Donald Trump has no injuries. We're not saying Donald Trump's injuries are consistent with someone who was rubbed by the holster or the.

But before they got to him, on the. video he has blood oh show me that video season because I've asked for that a thousand times I've never seen it you were trying to say that that it was the teleprompter receiver they got shot

and even that I hedged if I recall correctly I was like it could have been shrapnel from like a teleprompter or whatever but I was like I didn't see that either it just didn't seem consistent with a gunshot hitting it it still doesn't well I think that it

makes I think Occam's razor would be that got nicked, grazed by it, and then it killed the guy behind him. Oh, you think the same bullet did both of them? Maybe easily, yeah. I mean, why? I don't know. What are you seeing? I mean, somebody actually died.

The bullet you see. Yeah, someone died. No one's doubting that there was an assassin who tried to kill Trump that day. Only how the injuries happened. Oh, I see. A lot of people think that it was fake, that it was all set up. Oh, I'm sorry. There are people that doubt it.

I'm not one of them. I really don't like that we're in a place now as a country where when someone gets shot at or then we have to launch into like, but was it a setup? They want us to think that's like. I think that's how it's always been, right? Like as soon as JFK got got, people were probably saying that. Like, oh, it's not. Well, people did immediately say it actually. They're like, it's not who you think there were any shooters.

I think you just had a bad headache. Yeah. There's evidence of the headache all over the vaccine. That's what happens when you eat pop rocks and drink soda. He kids. He discovered the Mentos thing. I wondered for a while. Would you just burp a lot if you swallow a ton of Mentos and then guzzle a Diet Coke?

You'd just have gas. Obviously, I'm not saying you're going to die or blow up like that. If you do Mentos and Diet soda, you'll vomit. Like, it'll be that. Is that? Yeah. Oh. And I don't know how much, how much gas is created.

Like, because gas compresses, right? So you can, you know, put a bunch of gas in your belly and then your intestines will expand and the gas will compress and it. But I'm like, that might be way too much for that. With, with mintoes, you're definitely going to vomit. With pop rocks, you're going to burp. Like, I used, whenever I, uh, if I forget to take my, uh, heartburn medicine, I get tremendous heartburned, like, more than I know. normally would. It's like my body starts making extra acid and I'll take a tablespoon of

baking soda and mix it with water and just drink that to neutralize all the acid in my stomach. And I burp like something from a comedy movie. It's just like and I'm like that felt like being raped from the inside. Oh, it didn't feel like

revenge of the nerds. It's relieving but it's also like you can't stop. Like you can't cut the burp off. It's the biggest burp you've ever had. A nice big burp feels nice. And also I watched the, Trump grabs his ear before anyone gets there. Yeah, you heard something. I agree. He knew it was coming. Hears like a fox, that guy. That's what you do when you hear something? You go, what is this? I think a boy who's in past his head. Yeah, I don't think it's weird to think, you know, like to check for an injury. And then there's no

blood on his head. Yeah, I don't know if he was shot or not. I think that it's equally likely that the bullet nicked him, because if it nicks him just a little, then it can create a blood on Luddly ears bleed like crazy. They can create a little wound that will heal to the point where there's nothing to show. You know, it doesn't, if it pierced his ear, obviously it could blow a chunk out of his ear. But if it just nicks his ear, then it can literally nick it the same way, like a paper cut even. Like it could make a tiny little nick. Right.

It's pretty remote for a bullet to just skim the very edge of flesh like that. No more than hitting him square in the face. You know, there's, you know, his face is way bigger than the very edge of his skin. Okay, but like, that's fair. But I think it's very possible that that could have happened. I shot a deer one time and Nick just the top of its spine. It was just such a small Nick. I was aiming over him because he was like 450 yards away.

My rifle's zero for 200. So I have to aim like, I don't know, 30 inches above him or something like that. And I arc the bullet in, hit the top of his spine and paralyze him. Then I got to walk out there and stab him to death. You know, that's no fun. You don't like that. You could have been like that. One stab, right?

Quick and clean. All we had was a leather man. So we had to like make it long enough to go all the way in. Well, we had a flat head. Just plunged it deep into where we assumed the arteries of being. My cousin was hunting with an SKS one time and it still had the bayonet attached. And they don't have a ton of money, especially back then. only had like three bullets with him.

And so he starts shooting at the deer and he starts falling out of the tree as he's shooting from the recoil. He's, he wounds the deer. He had the bayonet at death. Oh. He had to. He thought the bayonet was a waste.

What did you mean he had to? I would like straddle the back of the deer with a plastic bag and be like, shh, it'll be over soon. Stop crying. That's not the only. he's beating to death. He was driving home from work. He's a welder. He was driving home for work

one night and he ran over a deer, ruined the front of his brand new truck. And he's so angry about that that the deer is, again, fucked up in the road, like almost paralyzed. And he beat its death with a slag hammer. Really? Yeah, Google a slaghammer.

Is that the one that's point to you on one side and kind of a flathead on the other? Yeah, kind of chisling on one end and pointing. Why do you bring that hunting? Or I guess this was just in the slagher home from work. at. For some reason, I assume he was like on the way to or fro hunting, because we were talking about that. Yeah. Yeah, this would not be the tool of choice for killing a deer. It's pretty crazy that people used to get bayoneted, you know? Like, you go out there, shoot your musket. They're getting close. Time to bust out the bayonet. Like, I'm pretty glad we don't live in those times anymore. Oh, that would have been horrible. And then if you get, like, stabbed by it, the doctors are like, nothing we can do. Do you want us to shoot you in the head or do you want a two-month, you know, adventure with gangrene? What's the is that worse? Like obviously muskets and bayonets are a pretty awful way to conduct war.

No fun. But what we got now with drones just taunting you before they drop their munitions or When the last bayonet turned? Okay, wait, wait, wait, I'm going to guess it's more recent than you'd think Korea. Was it like Poland in World War II? What? Afghanistan. Okay.

It did a legit bayonet charge against. the Taliban in Afghanistan. And I've heard like U.S. Marines talk about, talk about their pinned down in a hole somewhere taking fire.

And the order was given out fixed bayonets. He's like, I've only been a country three months at this point. I don't know if this is going to, I haven't fixed my bayonet since basic. Here we go.

Boss, I hate to tell you, I stopped bringing my bayonet. We haven't been used it. You're like just running ahead without one, hoping you don't get in trouble. bubble. I got a leatherman and some duct tape best I can do.

Oh, that would be terrible. If there are any deer, we got this. No, you're right. I feel like by the time you're fixing a bayonet, you're already in dire straits. Like, things haven't gone as well as they could have already. Otherwise, you'd be using the bullet part of the guy. Yeah, things are broken down. Yeah. I don't know which war is worse to be and I used to always say World War I because of the all that new technology was there and nobody was prepped for it. Like the sword had advanced and the shield had been left behind as it were. You had mustard gas

and chlorine gas. You had barbed wire. You had the flamethrowers. You had tanks and you had felt-fed machine guns. And we were still fighting the way that we had been fighting 50 years before. The generals were these old school guys. We were like, ah, just throw

them in and it, chap. That'll do the trick. And the Jerrys won't count on that. And they just just kept firing their gun for an two minutes and everybody died they'd lose like 50,000 men in a week shit like that and then you get the trench foot you get like trench foot your feet are rotten off you're in that hole living with rats and shit and piss i mean it has to be world yeah yeah world one had like you get like the notice from your sergeant you're going over the top into mines and machine

guns and then like it's like okay well here we go and then everyone just gets wiped like legitimately everyone dies and they had they had examples where like sometimes if the the army like we're not not doing it. Or like a certain squad would be like, I'm not going on. And then what they would do is they draw names to kill one of them. And next time you go over the top or we're going to keep killing you. Yeah, they'd execute for cowardice. Rural stuff. That's old school.

That was the practice of decimation. Well, that's when you kill one hand of an arm. That's what I'm saying. It comes from. It's like after a failed battle or something, if there was a shameful regiment in the Roman military, they would like draw

stones or something. And then the other nine or the other 18 or whatever the math breaks out to would have to beat the other guys to death in their own unit. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It was like, you know, the beatings will continue until morale improves. Yeah, it was right. So like we have to qualify it with modern war because any of those ancient wars would have been a fucking nightmare.

True. Like you're like, you get hit by an arrow in an area that won't even kill you that quickly. And then you go to the doctor and it's a guy wearing a fucking Halloween outfit. like waving sage at you, like chanting. It's like, oh, my God, I'm going to die. Oh, your humor is a terrible. We must bleed to him. Just like how George Washington died.

George Washington could have lived for years longer, but he was just, he was a believer of leeches. He was like, I need more leeches. They weren't just using leeches. They were cutting him. They were bloodletting. They took, like, pints out of him. And they bled him to death. Vietnam was pretty bad.

Yeah, yeah, that's a shitty one too. Just being out in a jungle. There's a hot take. If we're comparing wars, like, I think that World War II, especially in the European theater, it wasn't that bad compared to like the song in World War I or even maybe some of those Pacific islands or, you know, during World War II. And certainly like, dude, this thing in Ukraine right now, the morale hit it must be to like, imagine you're as fit as you can be.

You're as well trained as you can be. You're a fucking ace with a rifle, a machine gun, a mortar. You can do it all. You're the head guy. And then you just hear, and that's it. Some drone just with a fiber optic cable just flew 10 kilometers and blew your ass up. And you had 0.2 seconds warning of sound. And then you exploded.

And there was nothing you could do about it. And there's no way to get back at that guy. He's 10 kilometers away loading up his other drone. You know what I mean? Like, when I first saw that? It was so horrifying to me because take World War II. I feel like being a good athlete, a smart soldier, etc. goes a long way towards keeping you alive and being good at killing people, right?

Like it was like it's like combat. Now it seems like in Ukraine you die and it's not your fault. You know, you just you have to exist outside sometimes and you get spotted by a drone and they drop a naid from 100 feet and you're cooked. And it's just like, go ahead. Sorry, I'm trying to cut you off. World War II, Blitzkrig was pretty brutal. I mean, it was like they just bombed everything with planes, tons of people die without even knowing what's coming. Then tanks roll through and you just get slaughtered by tanks.

And then you'd have giant infantry behind that. But then the war was already over. Like when they showed up, there wasn't even a fight. So, I don't know, World War II, World War II actually was pretty brutal. I mean, here's the thing. Like, if you're going to die, right, if you're going to die, the drone way is not bad. It's not bad. It compares to the good points.

It's just like the bombing. I kind of didn't count on the bombing in World War II. That's really comparable to the drone warfare that we see now in terms of like you were just, you went to work, you're making your ball bearings, and then suddenly the whole factory's gone. Like you didn't, you're not even a bad soldier or bad whatever. You don't suck at what you did. You just get snapped off. Ah, another day at the London ball bearing factory.

Nothing will go wrong. today. What's that siren? Yeah. At least at least when they used to fight with swords, it was like, all right. Like if you're a really great swordsman, you're going to win some fights, you know? Exactly. Maybe the wrong numbers, but like you're not holding your own. The skill gap was there.

Like it kind of like relates to games in that way. Like the current warfare doesn't seem very skillful. It seems like it's tech based and position based and luck based. Whereas I think the further you go back Yeah, a lot of RNG, yeah The further you go back, the less RNG though That's why you have something like the Spartans Holding the Gap of Thermopy for days

Against a way bigger army Where it probably wasn't a million man But it's 100,000 against 300 You know, and they're all just so much better armed So much better prepared And just so much better athletes So much better looking Yeah

Well, Zerx is also like Way more jacked That goes that I'm saying And they had trolls Yeah, dude, that was the coolest thing about the movie Mastaira. Just saying. Some of them were, but, you know, I'm going to throw stones at those guys. I said some. I was careful.

They saved Western democracy as we know it. Okay. Let's give them their mascara. Well, those were like the most battle-obsessed people of all time against like slaves from the Persian Empire where Xerxes was like, oh, that didn't work. Just send like a bunch more of them in. They had to spice it up in the movie. which I loved, where it was just like video game mode, where they had like they were beating different levels

where it's like you beat the low-tier infantry. Can you beat the enormous rhinos? Can you beat the elephant people? You beat these these magicians feeling weird. Where do they get all the fonts? This is not even the right movie. No, I was watching that, I wouldn't have wasted those elephants like that.

I certainly wouldn't let him walk like close to the edge. That makes me. sense though because it's a and they explain it even the movie you know you've got that you've got the one survivor who was sent back by uh um what's it leonitis leonitis like tell the story and he's like pumping it up a little bit you know he's clearly telling a campfire tale oh and then the rhinoceros oh he's a game he's motivating an army and i'm sure like the original story of ethelte's the guy who's like just that goblin who's like who isn't able to able to perform with the Spartans so he betrays them.

I bet in like the original story if that was even a character, it's like, and he had kind of a club foot, but like in that they're just like the most, he was left-handed, ghastly, you know, one eye is significantly larger than the other. Yeah. Dude, I love 300.

When that came out, I was it was one of my favorite movies when it came out. I was the right age. I remember I had a history teacher who like really he loved to tell stories, historical stories, and he had told us about that battle with not as much flare as the Zach Snyder movie, but close. And so when I heard that movie was coming out, I remember telling my dad and my cousin

was like, this is awesome. I've heard this story before. We got to go see this movie. And we did. We all three went to go watch 300 in theaters. Great. I remember watching the DVD extras, watching the workout of the Spartans and being like, all right, flip the tire 37 times.

Okay. I remember there's an early scene in 300 where they were establishing the relationship. between Leonidas and his wife and he bangs her doggy style and something about that hit well with me. I was like it. Thumbs up. All these sex scenes are missionary or maybe they'll do some sort of cowgirl.

You don't see enough doggy representation in the movies, I would argue, but 300 delivers. Not enough. And then he kicks that douchebag messenger right in the pit. Let's take a casual walk to the kicking pit. And then

I didn't like that far. It became a meme for a decade. Yeah. It's like, why would you have that in your town? You know, we really got to do something that giant pit. You ruined the well, my lord. You know, if you could have done something else,

we got to clean this out, the water's fruit. With a Scottish fucking accent, you bring the heads of kings and crowns of kings. You insult my queen. you do this you do that I told you Persian messengers are responsible with their words in Sparta and then just fucking kills them all that seemed a little

shitty even then even as a kid I was like I mean they are the messengers like it's literally a saying don't get the message. We have a saying I would write that shit down and then like the message would be under a rock there's another message that I'm

less responsible for you read that I'm running south I'd start with an apology King Leonidas the great Oh, you're so mighty. I have to apologize for the words of great Xerxes. He's never made a mistake before. And I'm not saying this is one either, but you should read this. I don't, I didn't write this. I wouldn't want to say those things.

That's how I would come in. I would have been, I would have been, I would be like, dude, even their fucking senators are jacked. I'm not, I'm not coming in with any attitude. I'm coming in hat and hand. Hey, fellows, you know, just an idea. The real issue was he was trying to publicly embarrass and intimidate Leonidas in front of all his people. If he had privately delivered the message like you guys said, Leonidas, maybe lets them live. Yeah, probably. Of course, it's all made up by Zach Snyder anyway.

But it's a great story. Yeah, I love that movie. And I love the real story. Whenever I see one of those history channel documentaries about the Battle of Thermopy, I always tune in. I love it. I want to see Project Hill, Mary, but I don't want to go to the movies. It's good rent it. I saw that for 25 bucks.

And I was like, I don't know what it was. Here's how you justify that purchase. It's a little bit. Imagine what it would have cost to go to the movie theater and have your candy and the drive and the annoyance of all that. And then the bathroom situation and the dealing with human beings and all that. And weigh it against $20 in your living room with your bag of pretzels and your bathroom and your wife and a pause button. And suddenly it's a good deal. But there's a better deal.

You think. Right. Imagine I've got an eye patch and a peg leg. And a can't do attitude. You like to do that. Fucking Portuguese because you don't want to spend $24. I think I'm feeling a lot as big loss in translation. I pay for so many streaming services right now.

But I just don't know. I feel like Project Hell Mary is going to be slower to come to them than the movies I don't want to see. Yeah. It'll probably be on prime in two months or something. like that for maybe five or six dollars will be like that you know it starts at like $25 and they'll only let you purchase it in Ultra HD

and then after a month or two you can rent it for five bucks or whatever. I thought it was a fun movie. I saw it in theaters but I don't think it's a $25 buy. Okay. I read the book and I don't read a ton of books but it's like oh here's a movie that came out about a book I enjoyed so it makes me

want to see it extra. I watched the new Lord of the Flies last night. It's on Netflix. Okay. you don't know the story of Lord of the Flies, a bunch of English boys get crash landed on a tropical island and they, there are no adults, and they devolve into tribalism and craziness and ritual and murder and cruelty. Isn't it kind of based on animal farm or something? Isn't that right? Or no? I don't think so, but they, those two are like linked to me for some reason as well. I think of them both is these like statement books about something greater. It was pretty good. Animal Farm was the communism one.

What was the message in Lord of the Flies that little boys are going to, boys will be boys? That's the prologue. I think it was a negative vibe about human nature. It's been a long time since I've read it. Yeah, it's good. There's four episodes. They're about an hour long each.

And the kid actors are really good. And I don't know. Woody always says he likes movies and shows that make him feel something. At the end of the thing, I was like, look, that was awful. That was awful. Everybody was so mean. Well, I mean, did they have to be mean in order to survive?

No. Like, were they catching? Because I know Lord of the Flies the Simpsons episode. I believe Ralph eats a lot of the food. I know Ralph is maybe accused of eating a lot of the food, but it was actually Millhouse. who ate the food and we all remember that. Yeah,

vaguely. No, they are, it's just school yard bully shit and power struggle and people, and class systems, people think that they're better than other people. And that's kind of at the heart of it

of why there's conflict because they've got plenty of food. They even figure out how to kill some of the pigs on the island. So they've got like meat and mangoes and fresh water. All they got to do is chill. The core message of Lord of the Flies is that people are not inherently good and civilized. And that when you remove civilization, power corrupts and they tend towards cruelty, trend towards cruelty.

Yeah. I would think so, too. That's what the team. Were they free loaders? Were they mad at like freeloaders who weren't helping kill the pigs or weren't helping, like, build the banana shacks? So, for example, it's been so long since I've read it. But I remember one group kind of went out foraging for pigs all the time.

And that was like a premier fun, cool thing to do. And then another group was actually doing all the fucking work, building structures, farming or whatever, gathering. And these pig people would bring a prize back every once in a while. But mostly the heroes were the freeloaders. And like the wrong people were appreciated. But again, it's been a while. That sounds like Survivor. A little bit.

Yeah. Survivor has this interesting thing. Like the tallest flower gets plucked. That's like the core message that I take from Survivor. You might want to be the weakest. You really want to be in the middle. And you don't want to be the guy carrying the team because the tallest flower will be the first one voted off.

There's always some guy on Survivor and it's like the first episode and they're like doing one of the races. He's like, I'll pick up the whole sled. And you're like, and then you're like dead. Totally dead. You might as well leave now. You cannot do that. That is like the one thing you can't do.

You can lag at the back and, you know. Yeah. If there's not a million dollars on the line and you're not being filmed for like true TV or whatever, that guy's great to have around. Yes. You know, when you know rice bags are being delivered regardless of how many canoes this guy throws, get this guy the fuck out of. I wish that after the voting took place, the guy still had a way to stay. Like, all right, you've been voted out. You have to run the gauntlet of insanity. And it's like Ninja Warrior stuff. Like he has to like swing from ropes and jump from trees and stuff or whatever it is. Like he has to. I wish there was a chance to not be beaten by the conniving rats and snakes. He should be allowed to remain on the island to terrorize the remaining contest. With the immunity thing, but as soon as you don't get the immunity thing, and they will rig the game if they have to, like, now you're up on the chopping block. I have a good idea. Every time someone's voted off, two people are voted off, and then they compete to see who actually leaves.

I like that. That's how Gordon Ramsey does it. A bit of a gauntlet. Oh, I didn't realize I stole it. Okay. No, I would like that. Great minds. I remember, like when I was in high school, that show was, for me, it was at its peak.

It was, uh, we, I, my girlfriend's dad watched it religiously. So whenever I was over there, it was on the TV. And so I would inherently get into it. And there was this guy one year who was like you said, alpha male. And he came in. He was like, oh, when he fired, made the fire. Holy shit, that guy makes fire. And he's like, we need some protein around here.

That's what we need. There are pigs on this island. He killed a pig, like a big one, and cooks it for everyone. I'm like, oh, my God. Lord of the flies are a survivor. What are we talking? This is a survivor. Yeah, this guy was a badass.

And then one day he's like getting the fire going. And, you know, I think he's starting from embers maybe or he's starting from a very small fire. And he's blowing on it to get oxygen in and get it to whoosh up. And he inhales at the wrong time. He's doing this sort of like in and out sort of maneuver to like take fresh air into his lungs, leaning away from the fire and then lean back in and blow. and he gets his timing wrong or something. He takes a big lung full of hot, smoky air,

and he passes out face first into the fire that he's created, and his hands get third-degree burns, and he wakes up on fire, and the skin is hanging and swapping off of his hands and forms. And he just runs, and he's jumping in the creek because it's nearby, and he's screaming, and he, like, holds his hands up, and he looks like that guy at the end of Robocop.

It gets all the chemicals on him. They're all melted. and they have to hospital him off and he's like, can I go back? And they're like, no, you can't fucking go back. Like, this is it. This is really going to hurt you in the roach eating competition. Why didn't the crew wake him?

Why didn't the crew say it? It happened fast. Like he wasn't in there from more than a moment. Yeah. There was another one, not as dramatic as that, but this guy could fish. He had a real knack for fishing. And he thought he could avoid getting voted off

if he was the guy that supplied all the food to his group. but they would rather go hungry than face a competent teammate. And they voted him off. It's like, you don't want to get rid of that guy too quick. Like let the fishing guy stick around for a few weeks so you have fish and you're not just, because don't they only get given rice or potatoes or some like simple starch? Yeah, yeah.

Like earlier we were talking as if no one goes hungry, everyone's fine. Yeah. I mean, I watch what happens to the bodies of these people and that's not fake. They get sexy. They do dirty and sexy. So double.

Some of those ladies like, man, you should have plumped up before this show. I mean, I know you're going to be a national television, but throw on another 10 pounds before you head to the island of starvation. You know what I mean? Like, that's, you have an extra 30,000 calories on hand. That Richard Hatch guy who won the first one, I think his name was, he was saying that the whole time. Everybody was starving with their beach pods. And he's just like slapping his big bell. home.

Yeah. He went to jail for not paying the taxes on that mill. What? He's still like dealing with it. Yeah, he didn't pay taxes on his million dollar prize from Survivor. What do you think no one was going to know? Oh,

they knew. It was so watched. It was such a big deal that first year. The IRS was watching. Yeah, but many people saw it at work the next day. I remember like there was a big circle all talking about who they wanted to win and who was best.

And it was interesting because I would, That was season one. And we all thought it was a game about surviving. I think the producers thought it was a game about surviving. And then there were these like New York Times articles and stuff. Like, you know what? Survival in today's day and age isn't about gathering food and water anymore. It's about social manipulation and working a way up at work and stuff like that.

And I was like, shit, this parallels the civilized world more than I thought it did. When are we starting a podcast? As soon as we vote one of us three off Oh, fuck We have fits of strength first Feats of strength, Yes, yes, we have no contest of speed

I think it's all streaming competitions, actually That is more a Eating competition And an eating competition Strength groups I think we're definitely a feats of strength group. Definitely not. speed. My dog looks like you might

have some speed. Slap of that. I bet Doug's the fastest of us all. Yeah, that's probably true. You can still be slow and beat us all. That's totally possible. And here's our speed runner, Doug. I'm like, how fast do you think you could run

a mile? I'm going to give you a month to get ready. I feel like what, like seven and seven minutes, seven and a half minutes, something like I believe you, but I did this myself and I got down to 830, which is pretty good. It's pretty good. Single digits. What are you talking about?

Really? I ran every day for a month. I saw a like YouTube trend or something. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna. And I filmed it too. I was going to make a video and like show my progress. But my progress wasn't very impressive.

And like parts of me, like I'd get really. sore and then like that would get better and other parts of me just got worse and worse and worse the whole one of the worst part you're breaking down yeah my bone in particular i have like some metal holding that once held my bones together they've since healed and just the pounding on the metal that's like right above my ankle it just got worse every day yeah so with i actually kind of like running but what i find is if you run too much my knees just get so messed up and then i need like time to heal. And then like it also interferes with like trying to lift with your legs if you like a leg day or something. And then and so like I go to the little spurts while I run for like a few

days. And then yeah, it starts to just break down. You're like I can't keep doing this basically. You look like you could be a runner. But I have a friend who was a real runner. Like he was, he'll tell you he's like, I was the thousandth fastest person on the planet. This is when he ran in college. He's like, that sounds good. But the gap between me and number. number one was never going to be beaten. Anyway, he's a running expert. And he looked at me and he's like, you're just not for running. It's not the exercise you're supposed to do.

You weigh too much. It's too hard on your joints. There's no world where you like transform into a runner. Yeah, also distance running. So you want to be a sprinter because sprinters are jacked, right? Because when you run, you first go through glycogen, then you go into fat, then you go into muscle as you run longer. So when you see people that are marathon runners, like their bodies, like obviously they have very little fat, but they're not like kind of a bag of bones.

You see some of those guys. They're just a bag of bones. That's not really what you want. You want to be like still pretty muscular. So it's better to run like shorter stretches faster and then, you know, or like hit or whatever stuff like that. And then try to like break fat down but keep your muscle and not lose muscle running basically. I would do fasted cardio because of that glycogen thing. my trainer said it was it worked and I guess it did but like yeah

starting an hour with the cardio sad I mean who wants to look like the guy in the right everybody I mean that guy is clearly a better athlete it's like there's someone off screen 100 yards behind the guy on the left with a gun I'm not even convinced the guy on the left in distance running like I think the guy the right wins every sport oh I don't No, no, no, those distance runners, they are a bag of bones. And also, they sometimes poop themselves. Oh, yeah, I hate when I see them poop, that they poop themselves. And it's running down the legs.

Do you know how little I would bench press if I knew there was a 15% chance that I shit all over every time I try it? I need to check Kyle's browser history and see if this anti-poop thing is really true. It absolutely is, especially now the motherless has been taken down by those Dutch commies. Yes. Kyle Search history is probably one of the most dangerous search histories out there. You better to be prepared for whatever you may or may not find. Motherless has been taken down. It's got to come back, I guess.

I don't know what it'll come back as. Same thing. Why did it get taken down? Did they have a legal content being put on there? Lots of like drugged women and like hidden camera stuff. And illegal content was on there. Snuff films. When you say illegal content, you don't mean young because I never saw that.

I never saw it, but I think there are accusations that it was definitely, like, there's no way to like verify age, you know. They're just uploading videos and the owners of the website have always maintained that we're not responsible for anything on our website. We host a website. We police it as best we can. But if there's something hidden in the millions of videos that we don't know about, that's not on us. Even the UI of Motherless felt sinister where it's like, this is wrong. This is this we shouldn't be we shouldn't be here You go there now you get this like message from them

Like hey we'll be back at 10 Out for lunch or whatever Like mothers has been taken down because the Dutch government Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Is that what I thought it was a CNN article Maybe they were just reporting them what the Dutch did Maybe that's what caused the Dutch government to take it down But like they voluntarily like took it down

It'll be back but who knows what it'll be when it comes back, all porn sites suck now. Whenever they did that huge like removal of all the amateur porn from porn hub, it was like, well, this is just a bunch of horrors now and not the kind of like. These are women who actually take... Not like it wanted

before. No, and hear me out here. There was videos and there was chicks on there who were getting fucked for the love of the game. I was going to say that same thing. This is like baseball players from the fucking 20s. They just love the ball. All right?

They loved it. And they were going, even if they got a side, they got three jobs other than this. You know, they're working ladies. They're not earning money off of this. And they nuked all that. And it became nothing but pro porn stars and amateur slash pro porn stars who are just there to collect a check. There's some fakery. I don't believe you came at all.

That other lady, I can tell she was coming. She had no reason, no reason to lie. She had no reason to lie. She didn't even know the camera was there probably, you know? So you're more of a, more of like a Blair Witch style porn guy. Yes, found footage porn. Oh, I would love some found footage porn. Yeah.

Hiding from a category on Reddit. I forget what is it? Photo Bucket Fines or something, what is it called? That's one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's a lot of examples of that. But then, like, they'll be, the title of video will be like, I found this VHS in my mom's dress.

And they're like, don't watch it. Don't watch it. And I'm like, well, just let me watch it. I don't know what it is. The girl I dated in my early 20s, we ended up breaking up, and then she became like a very famous porn star. Ah.

Yeah. It's been a one day, Hey man, do you know what she's up to these days? I'm like, check her Twitter. Put in. My first image was a guy blowing a load in her face. And you're like, been there, brother.

I taught her that. Was it like right after? after you broke up that she's like, let's just go a whole long. Some years my body was funny you too. I said to my friend, I'm like, I'm like, oh man, I can't believe this. He's like, can you? Was there a little spark of like what could have been or jealousy or like, or was it? No, there's the attachment was completely gone by then.

I've moved on and I've been with my wife for like 15 years now or something or some number. I should probably know the number of years. But yeah, I mean, it was it was like way too volatile and it was not. it was not a stable relationship. I'm surprised. I was surprising too because when I met her, she was a stripper and I was like, this is going to be fine.

Exactly. That was more of the lateral move. Did she have those rough hands from the pole? Oh, I never thought of that. She had like, she couldn't really feel her feet very well. Like she had like,

because they had to wear the high heels and their feet go numb. Numb feet, fucking fireman fingers. Yeah. I get farmers hands. I was like, oh, don't grab me with that. She wasn't a farmer.

She was on the pole. She was upside down doing twirlie-whirlies and stuff. Although she was working the land. Yeah. Atlanta has great strip club. She wasn't a farmer, but she was surrounded by hose. Oh, nice. Very funny.

There's the, that. jokes. I'm proud of that one. Yeah, we're talking about Survivor and all I think about is how likely it would be that if I were on that show, I'd just get voted out for complaining. Like, just so much, like, I'm so, I'm, I'm, I'm visibly 40 pounds overweight and I'm like, I'm starving. You know how there's always like someone that just eats like a little too much food? Like this was all rationed out

And then someone eats two people's food And whenever that happens, it's a nightmare I think everyone hates them Like whenever people come back And you're like, oh sorry, I ate all of it Oh God I don't know where the barbecue sauce bag It's one, it's all over me

I can't help it I'm a sleep eater I'm like I'm wide awake eating food While everyone else is resting It's a nice spend All the daylight hours looking for shellfish The like Hot dog costume

Who's like we gotta find the guy who did this We're all looking for them. They're like doing like every week photo op. Like my bathing suits getting tighter and tighter. Everyone else is looking like a ghost. How do they manage that? People's clothing size must change. People lose 40 pounds.

Do they just tighten it more? Yeah, they're wearing the, you know, clothes. Mostly right? The women sometimes like they're just skin and bones inside. those bikinis. Like they started hot and then they got a little unhealthy. The show used to be like marathon runners.

I mean, they looked like marathon runners. Yeah. Remember when they had the two, they had them standing on like poles that were in the ocean? And Jeff Probst is like, the host of the show, he's like, I've got Oreos and peanut butter for anybody who takes their top off. That was a thing.

They like got naked and then, and then took their tops off and then swam over and got their Oreos and peanut butter. This on YouTube. I didn't say the peanut butter would be in a jar, did I? Man. I don't see the peanut butter anywhere. You'll see it later on.

Yeah. Just a container of jiff, just like a pillar shape and you push through in the middle. How do you get peanut butter out there? He's the host. He just has a shot. craft services on the other side of the island, you know?

Wait, Jeff? Yeah. Jeff said, I'll give you guys peanut butter if you take your tops off. Yeah. Wow. And Oreos. And then the girls are over there, like, dip in their Oreos and peanut butter and eating them.

And the guys are out there standing just like, fuck, I'm hungry and tired. Last one to jump off the pole gets immunity. I think that was the deal. Oh, there was still a guy on the pole? That's not fair. he needed to be given an opportunity. Yeah, I don't remember.

You know, it's been 20 years ago or something like that. I don't remember that part. The first person who gets hard wins. Just focusing. That would be good. Survivor is pretty equal opportunity generally. I feel like the show went a little too, a little too woke in general.

Did it? I haven't watched it forever. I do know they had that season, this is probably two decades ago now, where they were like men versus women. And after like one week, the men had like a like a canteena and the women were like we're out of rice and then they're like we're actually throwing a big switch up we're mixing up the clans because this is not making

good TV anymore the the women are starving and the men are like over there like they built a volleyball net they're having a good time it's like it's like um i think it was either on the simpsons or family or something when it was like Ireland if alcohol was never invented yeah It's like advanced civilization. Everyone's getting along. They're all scientists. Yeah. Johnny McCreedy just invented something.

Cause it whiskey. And then they all just started to get into a fight. There's the clip of the girls stripping naked for Oreos and peanut butter. I timestamped it for you. You got to get the timestamps. Yeah. Survivor used to be a better. If that's what the show was like now, I would tune in.

Especially if Paramount would do like an uncensored version. These guys should have. called the bluff and taken their shirts off been like I'm part of it this lady's totally this lady's completely censored out now because you got totally naked I guess yeah I'm watching to yeah the girls offer they're like there's temptations and he wants to know like what you'll do for chocolate and peanut butter and a girl is like I'll take my clothes off for it it's what I'm seeing that is crazy yeah I can't believe that that happened and then he accepts the deal and they get buck naked they don't just take their tops off they yeah

See that now. This has got to be like 2005. It might be. If the show were still like that, I'd watch it. I tell you, I don't like that naked and afraid show. I thought they were going to be naked and they blur everything out. I got a buddy from that show. You know Justin Governail?

No. I think he was on there at least one or two seasons or something. Okay. He's like a comedian in the San Antonio area, just a great dude. He was also, I think, a Marine as well. well like you got a really interesting story but yeah he was on that show and he's like a legit survival guy like yeah yeah he's he's legit to be a marine i mean you got to be you got to be a bit kooky yeah you got to be you know the little odd there was one where there were two people

who did sort of a naked and afraid channel no there was a dude who was like a total hippie and they partnered him with like an army guy and they had to survive do you know you know the one that. Yeah, he had like a mullet and he was all, they were very different and they didn't get a long way. He didn't wear shoes. Like in real life, he hadn't worn in a decade or two. But he was an outdoorsman.

So he had these toughened, callous hobbit feet. He was ready to go. I thought that was a big advantage. He was partnered with this total fraud army dude who eventually got kicked off the show for stolen valor and they replaced him with like a comparable one.

And I think he also got kicked off the for Stolen Valor. Both of the Army dudes, yeah, both of the Army dudes they tried to pair them with were fakes. They found two fake Armymen? Yeah. We had fake Armymen on my little reality show. Like, we had that show where the gamers were, so we had Special Forces guys and gamers and we did like a week of the Special Forces guys coaching the gamers on shooting, and then the gamers would shoot in challenges, and then they did the opposite. The gamers coached the Special forces guys on like call duty and halo and they have to go play video games against each other and i did the shooting part and uh we were like hey you know that that that guy wasn't a ranger

we we googled it and the producers of the show are like oh oh it's a little too late now but fuck fuck we didn't we thought for sure i mean look at him i'm like yeah i know me he's shaped like a square um but apparently no he was not a army ranger sniper we just looked at it up. Yeah. Pick a different branch. Be like you're never going to find my records. Too elite, too secret. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd have to kill you type stuff. You know Delta Force? I was on Echo Force. You haven't even heard of it. I was on the Omega Force. Some people call it, quote, made up. We like that. We like it that way. We're just a figment of my imagination.

Dude, the Afghanistan War popped off like yesterday. Did you hear about it? Who's fighting? Russia. Afghanistan's got to be one of the parties. Okay, I found that up. The Ukrainian war is the one that popped off. Russia launched about as many munitions as we did against Iran yesterday.

Now, it's not a good comparison because we're launching like cruise missiles and they're launching drones, but it was, I think, close to 2000 in one day. And they did a lot of damage. I don't know what to make of that. They're like, there's 44 deaths. I'm like, that doesn't seem like a really big number, but Ukraine is maybe incentivized to come up with a low one. I don't know.

There's no way to know. That seems to be its own little, like, many World War I over there, where it's like, you'll hear a story about a huge victory for one side of the other, and it'll be like, they gained of 47 yards. Yeah. It's really tough with that war, and I followed it more at the start. And then as it went on, obviously, you know, you follow a bit less. But it's so tough to get, like, actually good information of what's really happening. And then everyone has a political agenda with what they're trying to tell you the thing is. It's like, you know, some people want it to be something that makes the U.S. look bad or makes Trump look good or makes, like Russia look bad or makes Ukraine look bad. And so you're trying to like, I just want like the facts, like what happened, you know? And it's surprisingly hard. to get to the bottom of what's really happening. Because that war, I heard people, somebody like, oh, yeah, Russia's going to like,

Russia's got this or, of course, they're going to win. To be like, oh, Ukraine's never going to lose this. Like, they're beating them right now. They're beating them back. And I'm like, it seems kind of like a stalemate. I mean, I don't know. I don't know enough, but it's what it seems like. Yeah.

It seems like there'd be stories about like if one side was just routing the other. Or it would be who is. Stories I'm saying now are about the autonomous weapon systems. Like not just the drones and in particular fiber optic drones, but the land vehicles. They've got, the Ukrainians have invented literally like three or four different kinds of land vehicles that are armed with machine guns and stuff.

And they're just remote controlling a little mini tank out there that's got a 50-cal machine gun on it and an optic on it, like a modern like video feed. And they're just putting the crosshair on bad guys and going, but-p-p-pup, but-pup, but-pup. And if the thing blows up, like, it doesn't cost much. It doesn't cost nearly what our shit costs. That's, Ukraine put out a report.

Again, truth, who knows. But they said it's, it costs them about $832 per death, per Russian death. That's what it costs to kill a Russian soldier, which is incredibly cheap. Yeah. Yeah, because they're killing like, they're killing over a thousand of them a week. Compared to our little war with Iran that costs $25 billion already or something like that. At least. Right. That's...

Too much. Too much. Yeah, sad. I want Iran to have a nuclear weapon. Taylor, I talked to my friend Shlomo last night. He spelled it all out for me. All right. He gave you the deeds.

Yeah, we're all good here. I thought we're on the wrong side of history for a moment. But he sent me straight. I love how there is always like Trump's tweet from 2010 or whatever it is where it's like any president who invades the Middle East should be. impeached immediately. Yeah. There's all like for every

situation. And then it's like running at the campaign like we need no new wars that are waste you know and then it's like oh but these guys I don't know. I don't know. Miriam Adelson just gave me a hundred mil. This is kind of her big thing. Maybe we strike that from the record and do it anyway.

Fucking ridiculous. Grocery prices jumped more this month than they have any other month like 4% or something like that was the inflation this month and then I know tomatoes went up like way up and then beef went up like 15% or something. And we still haven't felt the ramifications of that fertilizer thing that I keep talking about. That's next year.

That's next year. That's not this year. What's the fertilizer thing? Like a quarter of the world's fertilizer comes from the Gulf. Through that straight. Through that straight. And just this delay and the increased cost from it, that'll be felt next year's crop. But then you've also got to consider with the price of diesel up around $5, $6, $6, $7.

in some places, every bit of produce and really everything we eat is brought in by a diesel truck and they're passing all that right onto the consumer. Farmed by a diesel tractor. So how do we trade this? How are we making money? How are we making? What are we doing? Are we buying diesel?

Are we buying diesel past, not futures? Are I am I shorting whole foods or what? I mean, people got to eat. You know, there's still, I would, I would look into like hot dog companies and hamburger helper places like that to put my money because that's where people are going to be spending more next year rather than fresh produce and lean beef. They're going to be eating hamburger helper and rice errone and who's ever makes that shit. Right? Like the CEO. Yeah.

Our soup is for pores. Like, that's all of us next year. That's so funny to be like the head of the company. be like, this shit sucks. I'm not, I'm not going to eat this. Do you seen how little chicken we put in each one of these? It's like three cubes. It's bananas. I think it's like a guy and LeBron's driving it.

You're like, yeah. I don't think LeBron's drive right at my IKEA. I'm just guessing. I do believe that Matthew McConaughey would drive a Lincoln though. I do. I was about to say that. Yeah. I see Matthew McConae and a Lincoln. It's just, just different in a Lincoln.

What can I say? And he's just riding around like nighttime, like twilight hour with the street lamps. I'm like, I kind of want to link it now. That's a good. That guy's cool as hell. I guess he likes the Texas Longhorns a lot, the football team. And so he, like I saw pictures of him where like they'll be playing middle of the game. And he's like wearing a big orange jacket and just walking around talking to the players.

And then like a journalist will be like, just to be clear, no one said Mr. McConnell. Hey, could talk to the team, approach them, be here at this time. He's just decided that he's like, hey, how are you guys doing? Which do you do? Texas Longhorns. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

They're orange. I've been to a, so I live in Austin. I've been to a few games and he's there every single time and they always like put him on the screen. Everyone goes nuts. He's like a legend here, basically. He's a beloved guy. I've never heard a bad word about him.

I remember even his arrest is endearing. He got arrested for, like, There was like a noise complaint or something, and the cops go to his, like, beach bungalow, and he's in there naked playing bongo drums high. That's cool as shit. All right, right, right, right. He's very bungalow.

He's very bungalow-coded. He totally. I like how he handled his career. You know, he's just for a role I'm working on. He was getting nothing but rom-com roles, and he was just stopped. He's like, he didn't want to do it.

It wasn't fulfilling to him. It was good paychecks, but it's not what he wanted to ask. act and he just told his agent, stop accepting them. Start saying no, to all of them. Don't send me another rom-com. He didn't work for years. I can't remember what his next thing was.

It might have been true detective or something like that, something real. And he got to show off his acting chops and that opened the door to so many other things. He was really, really good in that. That's a cool show. Do you think Ryan Gosling's getting that wrong now? I guess he was in Project Hell Mary. He's everything.

Oh, he does all sorts of stuff. He does all sorts of indie shit. Remember he the driver? we're talking about, we've got our guest last week. What's his name, Taylor? I already forgot. He looked just like Gosling. Are you going to do this to me, Kyle?

You, I knew you were coming two weeks ago. I'm a big fan of Doug Polk. You're talking about King Trout? We'd never forget about you, Derek. Yeah, King Trout had the Scorpion jacket from Driver. He threw it on and then threw on some sunglasses. And I was like, I mean, you're like 80% Ryan Gosling right now. You're looking good.

like a Ryan Gosling impersonator right now. You could charge me for photos. I like that jacket. But Woody's actually not being hyperbolic. You could, if you knocked on Woody's door tomorrow morning, Doug, he'd be like, who the hell is this guy? I'm faceblind. It makes it so difficult to watch TV shows.

I get it. Like, oh my God, they've got two blondes in this one. I'm fucking. Which one is this? I remember your eternal struggle. I've never heard face blind before. Is that a term? Facebook?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Some people don't. I never forget a face. I constantly forget faces. I have no memory for them. For years, Woody was like, I mean, I'm loving Game of Thrones, but I can't fucking keep track of all these bearded guys.

I don't know which one switch. They're all like the same. It's so bad. We'll do like a Patreon hangout. And my internal monologue is like, a bunch of fresh faces this month. We have 90 for six years. That's fish.

We've done them for a decade. Chocolate thunder, your face. You're safe. I know you. You have one different. Why's that? I thought he was really tan. No, no, no, he's actually black.

Yeah, he's awesome. My team beat his in the NBA playoffs this year. It was glorious. Who's your team? The Sixers. They're out. Ah. I saw LeBron got swept.

I carried just a little bit. So LeBron, LeBron's best teammate or teammates in the first series were both out. And he put the Lakers on his back and got him into the second round by himself. It was an amazing performance. He looked 25 out there. But he didn't have enough for round two. He was really good in both series.

He was like very, very, very good. And it's kind of interesting with him because I believe this is the last year of his contract. And he's considering whether, or I'm sure they're considering too. if he'll be with the Lakers or he can go somewhere else or whatever it is. And you're kind of thinking like, oh, he's so old, this has got to be it. And then he just looks like, you know, he was their best player in both series.

I know Luke is out. But then you're like, maybe he's still got something left, you know, which is crazy for how long he's played. I think he, I read something, I don't know if it was confirmed. And I care so little that I didn't commit to memory.

But I think that he said that he was going to take the veteran minimum next year or something. I didn't know that was a term, but I suppose it exists in the league. that's the kind of thing that makes me appreciate people big time. Like I remember when people would take less money to go play with Tom Brady. I really admired that. Like we cared so much about a championship. But LeBron has not done that yet.

He has taken the max contract with every team he's been to, including teams that really needed the space. And he's done that for 21 seasons. So I'd like to see it. I'd like to see it once before we tip the cap for him clear in some room, you know? Yeah. If he came back to the Lakers and earned less than Brian, That would be pretty neat to me.

That would be great. That game where he set the screen for Brony and hit the three and then threw an alley to him later was like, this is insane. It's like blowing my mind. That's worth more to him. That's why I think he might take this minimum. Like if the Lakers are like, hey, we'd love to have you back,

but we can spend a lot less and get a guy who averages 19. Like maybe they say something like that. I could see him being like, well, I'll tell you what's priceless. That's worth a billion dollars a year to me. and that's those moments I have with my son in front of the world playing the game we love the most. I can see him doing that. Like, because I saw that moment you're talking about where he's, him and his son have had these moments on the court. And it's like, man, those are, he'll never forget that.

He'll be on his deathbed. He'll be like, remember that time? I hit you with the Oli Hoop. Yeah, dad, I remember. Right before I became an accountant. If LeBron work for the vet minnow, could they get Giannis? I haven't heard anyone talk about that, but is that a thing that could be? In theory, they would have the space, yeah.

Yeah. You know, the thing about LeBron that I think gets a little lost because he's just been around for so long, but he's just, he's played so well for so long and just been consistent and always, like always in good shape, rarely gets injured. I know he has like PR moments that people don't like or like he complains at the ref whatever but this guy always on the first page of every book. I mean I'd see all those like he'll get in the photo ops where he's on a book and I saw someone make a collage of it once joking being like really weird he's always on page one of

these books like he starts a lot of books I think that's true but like over the course of his career right there's been like very little drama with LeBron he's just been a really really good basketball player for two decades I mean it's pretty rare I mean I mean no one's ever done Honestly, that's one of the reasons I don't like him. I find him so milk-toast and boring. And it's not like he's the greatest guy in the world. Like he's not always like spending his money on Harry. Oh, I did see that.

This is great. Get that. It really is on page one. And all of them. Crack it open, dude. Oh, good. You're always on the foreword. Like, what are you doing?

I've always appreciated that. I'm pretty sure he grew up poor. I think he has a single mom, no dad. and he's been super famous from the time he was like 16. And he never really come off like extra entitled or, you know, any kind of bad guy. He's just always doing it. He's always the good guy. And never forget.

They, they offered him a hundred million out of high school and he turned it down because there were incentives and stuff. And the rep from Adidas, like, who had initially made the deal and then the deal got jacked up before it got to the table goes to LeBron's mom. And he's like, hey, go to. Nike and get your bag and don't tell him we messed up. Don't tell them we fuck this up because you'll get less.

Like go in there like you've got a big offer from us. I'm sorry we messed this up but he's going to get paid and he's going to be great. They didn't believe in LeBron they were going to give him the $100 million. If this happens and that happens and you make this many points and play this many games and it's like just give him the money. He's clearly the guy.

Yeah, he's going to sell a lot of shoes. He has when LeBron when LeBron came into the league it was like everyone knew was going to be great. I mean, there's like only only a couple other players that are sort of like that. Like Wemby's been like that recently. Who else?

Zion. Yeah, people. Yeah, and it didn't work out. He didn't work out. I forget one of the other than. Zion Williamson was hyped on a level that Wembe was and on the level that maybe LeBron was.

Like he was way, way up there. And he had a build that was like a slightly smaller shack, but could jump way higher, far more athletic. And then he got into the NBA, he got fat. I think the fat caused it and get injured repeatedly, and he just hasn't been the guy. I like athletes who have a chip on their shoulder and an intensity that is above and beyond what the norm in their league in their sport. Like Ty Cobb's my favorite baseball player, not just because he's from my hometown, but because he played in that era where everybody was kind of laxadaisical, and he's sliding in cleats up, taking people out, like playing the game as hard as he can, constantly hustling.

playing it in a mean way. And then I hear these stories about Kobe, like, I guess Kobe's team, like, lost three in a row or something like that. He went in and took everybody's Kobe's away. He went into their lockers and took their personal Kobe sneakers out. And he's like, I don't want them wearing my shit, a bunch of weak-ass ninjas ninjas. And I can see why it's cool. I like it too.

But I like the opposite of it as well. Like, Tim Duncan, like that guy didn't talk. any trash or if he did talk trash it'd be real short like you i don't know maybe he'd get a nice pat on the butt like that's it one syllable was the most you could get out of this guy and he was just a machine that you couldn't crack you couldn't get to him you couldn't make him stop he just beat you again and again and again and again and like there was no getting to him and i think that's neat in a different way you know the story about what michael jordan said to co because after he had beaten him in a game or something?

Yeah, you can wear the shoes, but you can't. You'll never fill them. You can wear the shoes, but you'll never fill them. Coe didn't talk for like a couple weeks. His team was like, is he mad at us? What's going on? And then they played the Wizards again, and he dropped 55 on Jordan.

Yeah. I generally believe that every generation of athletes is better than the one before. That's just a thing that's in sports. and everyone's like, oh, MJ's the best, MJ's the best. If MJ was around now, he'd be doing this.

I wonder if MJ is even better than Kobe. Like, just let him go one era forward. I think MJ is substantially better than Kobe. I think Kobe's pretty overrated. I mean, he's a very good basketball player. The black hole of offense and efficiency.

Yeah, he wasn't very efficient. He just took a ton of shots. And there were years he was much better like in the early 2000s. He was kind of at the peak with Shaq. And like the combo of Kobe's Jack was what was so deadly, right?

Because they were so talented in different ways. But I mean, Michael Jordan was, they weren't that far off in eras, you know, like Michael Jordan came in the league, what, like 10 years before Kobe, eight years before Kobe, something like that. Jordan came straight out of high school. He was so young. And then Jordan obviously played at, is it North Carolina? Yeah.

Yeah. One year. Yeah. I don't know how. I think that conversation is always fun, but it's clear who the top three or five guys is. Like as long as I I don't think it matters Like who's better LeBron

Or I don't think it's LeBron Just because of the championships And I don't like his mentality But Kobe and MJ Like that mentality to me I always appreciate that When I'm watching highlights Or podcasts

When they talk about playing with him And Larry Bird Man I wish we could have seen Like a healthy Larry Bird In today's game I love Larry Bird Stories When they're like

He couldn't run He couldn't jump He wasn't have athletic. He wasn't like I like Larry Bird stories too because I'd be like, yeah, you know, Bird last night he was out and he like fought a guy at a bar,

but here he's going to be the starting power forward. It's like random stories off the court that were kind of crazy. It's trash talk. It's kind of like what you were saying earlier, Kyle, like he didn't have a side job, right? We'd pass that era. But he kind of like was the sort of guy that would, you know? He looks like he should be managing a bowling alley.

Like it was how Larry Bird looks physically other than the fact he's like 6-10 or something ridiculous. But I do like those highlights on YouTube. Kyle told me to watch these a while ago. And so I did. And it's like interviews with people that played with them. And they'd be like, man, you know, trash talk is pretty normal out there. But Larry was, he was mean. He cut you right to the court.

He would tell you exactly what he was going to do to you. And then he would do it and stare at you. And you just have to look down and run down the court. I like the one where like I'm going to mess this up a little but it might have been Detroit or something they were trying to guard him and the guy couldn't guard him

so they put on another one and that guy couldn't guard him either and he's like coach the other team's coach do you have anyone that can guard me he looks at his bench he's like no I remember there's a story

about Larry Bird being pissed off because they put a white guy on him yes they put a white defender he's like they got a white guy defending me. The fuck do they think I am. Like he's mad because there's a white guy defender. He's somehow a black supremacist or something. I don't know what he is.

He was the exception to the rule. He was the only good white guy. And it's fun to hear those black guys talk about it because they're like, they'll have like two or three old guys who played with him. And then they'll have like the young host to the show and be like, was Larry Bird really like that? He's like, man. He was a, he was a ninja in white disguise. Kyle, white people are back in the NBA.

We're back. We've got Yokic. We got Cooper flag. Luca. We got Luca. I don't know if I can't all those Europeans, man. I'm not sure. See, I have a more narrow view of what white is.

You know, I'm a UFC fan. So I see a lot of Caucasians coming in and roughing up my American whites. And I'm just not sure if I want to like blanket all of all of those. all those people white. I just think that the only white people are the Irish and the English. This is a ridiculous thing. White is a made-up thing anyway. You know what I mean?

Like, if Islam grows a mustache, does he get white? He would need to convert and he would need to like speak more than 10 words per minute. How about handlebar? Handlebar mustache. All right,

that'd give me on board. You guys have a silly mustache? Do you guys ever done those genetic testing to see like, Yeah. So I got mine, right? And it came back and it was 99.9% northeastern European or northwestern European. And I showed my mom, right?

She's English. So like, you know, I'm as like English, white normal. I'm run-of-the-mill standard white. Maybe Kyle would allow me to pass. But it's 99% and she's like, wait, and it's 0.1% Asian, right? I assume it's an error, but I said 0.1% Asian. And my mom was like, oh, that must be your father's side. Maybe you're one of those gangas con guys way back

Yeah, mom, he's the reason I'm so good at man At that point one for the math That's really the yeah I'm I used to pay on the Irish a lot And then I think you got that test back And you were, you know, little Oh, I'm not proud of my Irish heritage in any way Other than how Irish are you?

Oh, like very It's like majority How bad is it? Like 70% or something like that it's like the vast majority of my ancestors are from England and Ireland. And there's like some tiny slither from sliver from Slovenia. And then there's some Nordic shit. But it's mostly Irish and English.

So basically what you said before was I think I only think you're white if you're like me. Yes. Yes. Exactly. He made these rules after the test came back, Doug. Before that, he wasn't very passionate. I've always been very passionate about my heresy. That was a sad day at Kyle's house.

I look at Taylor, he's just a little swarthy. He's clearly got some Moorish ancestry. You know, I think that some dark-skinned fellow came up from North Africa and he made it with Taylor's great, great, great, great, great, great, great-grandma. And she liked it. And now he looks like that. Who's to say? Her husband was sitting in the chair watching the whole thing.

I get sunburned pretty easy. So, you know. That's the acutane and you know it. That's the acutane that was forced upon you at an early age. I stole valor on that one, admittedly. My brother has Irish, I'd say. I don't think we had like any Irish. My brother did the test.

And like I'm more of a mutt. I wasn't 70% anything. But the biggest chunk was Italian and then French. And then English was in there too. And then just a menagerie. I just had more. What he looks a little German. I could see a little German over there.

We don't fully know. On my father's side, it's super easy. Irish and English, his two parents were from each of those countries straight there. On my mother's side, they went to America a long time ago, like Revolutionary War. So it's all mixed up with everyone we encountered along the way. You should do the ancestry DNA. It's not only do they do the thing that we're talking about where they give you your genetic breakdown, But they also let you know if you have any genetic precursors for various diseases, any propensities towards certain syndromes or even if like you're going to be more or less sensitive to sunlight when you're outside, all sorts of little things that are affected.

Yeah, they're a lot. Yeah, they've targeted a lot of genes and they let you know. Oh. You know what would be a really, what if I find out on trans? I don't know. You know what would be funny is like getting that little spit vial. and you come in it and then you send it back

instead you're like oh I'm sorry I'm just the instructions I mean it should work I don't know how this worked exactly but it seems like it's potential there I don't know how it's sir we received your stool sample what's wrong with you

you could have at least screwed the cap on better you know it got everywhere All right. We jump to the next bit of Kyle's theories. We're going to hear from Club WPT Gold. All right, everyone.

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Check them up in the description. Yep. Any more fascinating theories for us, Kyle, about how, you know, how race works? I'm pretty strong on the Neanderthal ancestry. You know, I've got a very high percentage of that. Me too. It's almost 3% or something. That's a European thing.

I think we all do. More than you. Yeah, Kyle and I are more than you. You look like a homeless alien. We're a little more primitive. Yeah. Yeah, they tested some, they, they were testing some Neanderthal, like, teeth they found. And they could tell that the guy had, like, multiple STDs.

So he was getting after it. Yeah, he had, like, he had HPV. He had herpes and then something else. Oh, that reminds me. Teeth? Yeah, yeah. That's cool. That's because Taylor's ancestors raped yours out of existence.

That's exactly why. And that's why, like, I feel like a little bit of victimhood with my Neanderthal ancestry. I feel like you all, your people, you know, just ruined my culture. We now know that my people, the Neanderthals, had music, they had art, they had culture, they had organized labor systems. Like, we found evidence of all these things. You guys don't know. Offline in the WhatsApp, Kyle's begging for reparations all the time.

Dude, you were, no, the Romans were building like aqueducts and shit when your people were like just in a bog. They exist by the time the Romans came along. We were gone 150,000 years ago. I was talking about your Irish. When I saw I was so much Neanderthal, I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked at my forehead and I'm like, oh, God. Oh, it's like, I am a Neanderthal. now that you say it sometimes I just want to grab a rabbit

and bite into the back of its neck now I know where that comes right Kyle that reminded me of another thing so everybody knows that when Columbus came over to the new world and then the people who followed them they brought a lot of diseases smallpox being one of the big ones that wiped out just millions and millions of the natives

in North and South America but you didn't know you didn't know that he brought something back you're telling me now for the first time you didn't know is he brought something back with him for the first time. The natives had a disease that Europe had never experienced before. Syphilis. The first case

of syphilis in Europe, 1493. Yeah. I swear, honey, I think I sat on a TP toilet. Yes. A lot of weird bugs over there. I don't know. It could be anything, sweetheart. How did you learn that?

How did I learn it? Yeah. Where did you stumble across that? I don't know. I watch a lot of educational programming, a lot of like documentaries and like YouTube, like docs and stuff like that. Not the useful sort of education. I mean, it depends what your use is. It makes a good story.

Yeah, that was pretty good. Actually, he did use it. It's on a podcast here for people to listen to. It's actually, it was useful. You got a little anecdote to follow. Kyle, I got your back. You know, we have to stick together on this. All right.

I got your back. What do we can't let me do this? See how he tries to minimize and minimize anything. I was track checking him. Historians say he's likely right. Just another honest Neanderthal. Yeah. That means that when the skin was peeling off your hands,

oh, so many years ago, that was really from the new world. Yeah, I thought about that. I was like, that disease made its way from the new world to the old world, back to the new world, and then into that dirty woman that I made love to. Yep. And then you got the old peely palms.

Yeah, that was horrific. Yeah. If you never had syplis, it's a real drag. It's a real drag. Actually, I thought about it, and I'm actually not Neanderthal anymore. Sorry, Kyle. We're suffered very different parts. You never had a little taste of the siff? You know, it's just no, you feel like Al Capone or something like that. You feel a kinship with those historical figures who also suffered as I have. Dude, that guy could have kicked it around in prison so much longer. Just like one shot of a moxicillin or whatever.

Yeah. And he was just like, no, I'm not losing my mind. And there's like, there's no one in there with him. Like, he's alone. I don't know why his syphilis was never treated. That is kind of crazy. I'm sure that they had penicillin by then. You know, they just needed a shot of penicillin.

You need to be fine. Once it gets to your brain, though, isn't it kind of like you're done? That takes a decade. you know um so but but yeah i think that uh neuro syphilis is think it's what it's called um it's literally hollowing out your brain like when you look at the brains of someone who has suffered from neurosyphilis there's less of it it looks like termites have bored away at it you've got to ignore so many signs to just have that for 10 years you know it becomes asymptomatic oh like you have this per a decade no not necessarily like in some cases sure like you'd have these ongoing painful

symptoms, but some people become asymptomatic. And not only that, after a, I think the period is like a year, you can no longer pass it on. So like you wouldn't have that red flag of like your partner getting it and be like, oh, I got fucking syphilis from you. Like, oh shit, I must have syphilis. I didn't even know. Like that doesn't happen.

Because you become asymptomatic. You become I don't know, non-contagious. And then you don't know for 10 years that you have syphilis. Yeah. That's pretty fucking scary. Keeps your brain away. But you'd have to ignore all the skin peeling off your feet hands.

That went away too. Normal. All of our skin peels off our palms a little, right? Not everybody gets that too. Nope, pretty static. I think everyone gets it sometimes. That was horrific.

That was so awful. That's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. That's saying something. Like the whole palms of my hands just, it looked like I had been working in a field all week and just gotten all blistered up. They were just all just peeling away and this pink sad skin underneath that was so tender. And then the same thing, I'm soles of my feet. And I'm having to like make internet content.

I'm wearing gloves inside of gloves. My doctor couldn't figure out what was going on. So she thinks it might be some skin thing. And so she's like olive oil. Olive oil is good for this. So I'm putting olive oil on my hands and putting those in surgical gloves. And then living it like that. like a psychopath.

It was awful. It was awful. All I needed was a little box of selling in the ass. Hmm. So, Doug, I have this theory that gamblers inflate the perception of their wealth because that's part of their brand, right?

Like, if I was known for poker or something, I'd want people to think I was a trillionaire. Otherwise, I'm not very good at poker. Am I on target? And do poker players have a good vibe on who's wealth is what. Okay. So it's a good question.

A couple of different things to think about with that. You want to be known as a bad poker player. A good poker player is not a good thing because then people won't want to play poker with you. You want to be known as a terrible poker player who is very rich from not poker. Okay. But in terms of like putting on a persona of wealth, that everyone does. that in gambling they do it way more and yeah it's part of like a it's part of it's part i think it's

partly ego um but it's also to get themselves into like certain games or or to try and make it seem like they don't care about the money when they maybe really do it's it's certainly that that happens a lot the way you answer the question isn't what i expected because i didn't think poker players wealth came from poker that much i thought it came from their partnerships with like gambling websites, for example. Not really, no. So when people play high stakes poker, it's mainly they got their money from outside poker or from being good at poker.

Because there aren't really that many, there really aren't that many big sponsored names that made a lot from being sponsored by sites. Like until a few years ago with like the sleepstakes poker stuff coming up, there was, there was like nowhere to even play in the U.S. Like you basically couldn't play online. There was a day called Black Friday like 15 years ago where everything got shut down. The U.S. government came in and took the money and said, like these are illegal.

And it's not until recently. We've seen some states legalize it. And we've also seen like sweepstakes workarounds to basically be able to offer poker again. So there really weren't big contracts available for at least like most well-known American poker players until like very recently. And then a lot of like the foreign guys typically they didn't make that much money from sponsorships.

Hmm. Yeah. There's a gambler named Train Rec who just came onto my radar because he plays video games too. He's a streamer, right? Yeah. He's a streamer. I'm new to him. I'm not an expert in his content, but I think he streams a lot of gambling content. I saw him playing a shooter. That's how I knew him. And like the tales of his wealth

are outrageous. People will just pop in and be like, I'm a pilot because of train wreck. And it's like, what do you mean? Oh, he put me through college. It was, you know, he had a soft spot, sent me to flight school. And now I'm an actual pilot. And it's like, holy smokes. This man's changing lives. It's huge. And there's a bunch of things like that. He was on a rush streamer. And I think he put, I think he offered 50 grand with the winning team.

That seems like a lot to just like on a whim be like, hey, whoever wins this wipe gets 50K. Like his wealth appears to be real. And I Googled him and stuff and they said it was from partnerships, but that stuff is very unreliable. So I think he, so I'm very loosely familiar with that person.

And I've heard the story, but I think that's more slots, slots and casino gaming type stuff. Okay. Poker, right? Like, I think for him, and I'm just guessing that he had some kind of deal where he's getting a percentage of what he brings people onto the site or they're just paying him a lot to promote into stream and he has a lot of viewers.

And then they make money through casino stuff. So guys like that have made a lot in the last like five, 10 years. But that's like a different vein than poker. Like poker's like over here kind of. That's like the nose because poker is a skill game, right? If you're a good player, you're going to win money. Like you can actually win in the long run playing poker by playing a good strategy. But with slots, I mean, unless you're like really finding the right slots with like the right bonuses and the right programs, like you're almost certainly going to be a losing player.

Yeah, I didn't even consider that there was gambling outside of poker. I was like, oh, it gambles. That means poker. But you're right. It can mean a lot more than that. Or like another one's sports betting, right? Like basically no one's beating sports betting. It's like a very small number of people that have really advanced.

systems, but the public is getting absolutely killed in sports betting. And a huge part of sports betting is finding the right price to bet at. And when they passed the Big Beautiful Bill last year, they totally screwed gambling. Do you guys know about this? No, tell me. Okay. So last year when the Big Beautiful Bill was going back and forth, all the different versions, whatever they're trying to get through, at the end of it, they tacked in something on gambling.

And they say, you know what? And you can only write off 90% of your gambling losses. Oh, that's right. I do hear about this. Which is a disaster for gambling because that means if I win $100,000 and I lose $100,000, I owe taxed on 10K. I didn't make any money. So I owe tax on money I didn't even make. And actually, Dana White put a letter to the president like this week on this.

It's been like going around online about how it's been impacting the UFC and, you know, what's wrong with it. It's actually a well-written letter. But basically it makes us that anyone that gambles, unless you're really good and you have a pretty big edge, you can't overcome only being able to write off 90% of your losses because then you break even, you lose. It's a terrible law. It's a really stupid law.

It's a horrible thing. It has dramatically hurt gambling. A lot of poker players have had to retire because of it. It's a terrible, terrible thing that was just tacked in because some sender from Idaho was like, yeah, we'll take their money. And the crazy is it's not working for. Was it 100% you could write off 100% of losses? Yeah, yeah.

You could write off 100% versus gains. Yeah, so it was like your net basically. You couldn't write off more than you gained. Yes. Yeah. So like if you lost 10 grand gambling, you didn't get a tax deduction. But if you lost 10 grand and you made 10 grand, then you didn't have any taxes to pay. Exactly.

Exactly. Or maybe, you know, maybe you win a quarter million and you lose 225,000. You make 25,000. But now you would owe tax. on, you know, 50- Another 22. Yeah. Anyway, so after that happened,

there was actually bipartisan support to fix it. Like Ted Cruz came out and was like, I think we need to fix this. And then a bunch of Democrat senators came out as well. And basically, they just couldn't get it done. They couldn't get the support because in the day, people don't care about gamblers. But it was a terrible thing for the industry.

And the worst part is you can't, actually it's not actually going to make more money because people are just going to either not report or they're going to stop gambling or they're going to do things like now that they realize it's like this it's going to make them less money and it really ruins an industry for good people that like make small amounts of money like what if you're a professional gambler that doesn't do that well with a small edge you're toast you can't you can't survive anymore it's a horrible law it's a horrible horrible thing do a lot of people as well which isn't doing well anywhere yeah yeah i heard that

Why is Vegas like going tits up? Just people in the last six years have been terrible economically and everyone's getting hit more and more and more since COVID. Yeah. Yeah. And specifically since Trump came in because there's less tourism in general to America, Vegas got three. I think Vegas is hurting for a good number of reasons.

Actually, I lived in Vegas for a long time. I moved to Austin five years ago. But I still think of Vegas is home. I go there all the time. It feels like home. There's a bunch of reasons. why Vegas is hurting. I think the biggest one is that even like five, 10 years ago, there was not that much gambling around the country. There were way less casinos. There were way less online

platforms. We couldn't make predictions on the Knicks tonight. You know, like there was way less of that going on. There wasn't sweepstakesick stuff. There wasn't any of these things. So gambling to get people to get a fix, they often had to go to Vegas, right? Or, you know, maybe they had other options. But it was a more consistently changed. chosen option. But now it's so easy to gamble anywhere on anything that rather than traveling to gamble, people are just gambling at home or they're gambling wherever. So it's decentralized. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's number one thing. We know a way to generate who like he's he's like live

betting on like Bulgarian hand tennis or something like that. That sounds pretty fun actually. He's like I got a system. I got a system. The odds, you know, this guy will go up one game and the odds don't change. It's like he's clearly going to close this one out. I just pick the guy with more consonants in his name. Dude, I don't sports gamble really. You know, I do $5 bets with Kyle, but not really. But I do it emotionally a lot. Every so often I have an absolute luck because this is a thing that I know and other people don't seem to know it like I do. And then when it comes time to be like how I would have done. I'm so glad I don't use real money. I absolutely knew with no doubt that Sean Strickland wasn't going to be competitive last weekend. He's the champion

of the world right now. Also, in the NBA first round, in the NBA first round, I was like, never in my life have I seen more predictable outcomes in the East in particular? But really, I thought, I was pretty confident I had like a 90% chance of literally predicting every single, series in the NBA first round. And not only would I not have won the parlay, I would have lost like half of them. Like I, I, I, but I was like fully confident. So it's good that I don't bet with real money. The Sixers Celtics, who could see that coming?

I mean, that was like, that was a meltdown. I mean, they just, they just melted down. The Sixers won. I'm a big Sixers fan. So to me, that was clear. Oh, you thought that was going to happen. Well, okay, the Sixers were a funny team because, um, They had a bad record during the regular season because their stars were so hurt.

And one of them wasn't hurt. He just got caught doing ketamine. So they had this like bad record going into the playoffs, but really kind of load managed healthy-ish stars. And I'm like, I think they're going to punch above their weight in this series. So the betting line for the Celtics and Sixers after game four, the Celtics for up, I think, 3-1.

Yeah. It was you could get 100 to 1 on the Sixers at that point. They were like 1%. It might have been 80 to 1. It was, it was tremendous odds. And so I was like, oh, this one's over. It's going to be the Celtics. But then they did a lot of stupid stuff, too.

Like they played Tatum into the ground. They didn't make those strategic choices. Obviously, the Sixers shot well. Ambide was good. And it was unclear. Tatum hurt last game. Tatum hurt last game, yeah. Yeah.

So I... 80 to 1 is insane. Like, I bet the odds on Strickland were pretty damn good. Because I think he was like a 4 to 1. or a 5 to 1 underdog. Oh, my Lord. I think they said on the broadcast, they announced it whenever there's big bets on the main event, usually,

and they're like, someone placed a $1.4 million bet on Kamzachimev. And it's like, they say that right after, like, the fight starts turning Strickland's way, and it's like, ooh, I'd be fucking nervous. Because, like, I'm like Woody. Like, I know the sport pretty well, and I didn't see any. I figured that 4 to 1, 5 to 1 were right odds.

Like, that sounded right to me. It seemed like maybe he has a 15% chance to win this thing, maybe 20, best case scenario, and then he just came out and did it. It was a great fight. I was cheering. I was so nervous. I know you wanted him to win because I don't know anyone who dislikes those Chechens more than you. I hate him so much.

And I like Strickland. I genuinely like Strickland, not only his style, but I like it. I like that. Seems fun. like him. He seems like cool guy. He's like, I just train and eat and I shoot guns and I ride my motorcycle and that's it, man, that's it. That's life. And I'm like, oh, that sounds awesome. That's my kind of guy. I don't know. I dig him. Woody, you should have bet on your Carolina Hurricanes in the NHL playoffs.

Yeah, they haven't lost a game yet. I think they played eight games and they're eight and no. They're eight no, which, you know, they did also, I believe they beat the Flyers in the second round, right so that was not a great matchup well either not a great matchup or a great match up because you either win well you win and lose no matter what I guess the team name is the Carolina Hurricanes isn't that a little on

the nose after last year yeah but they they have a nice logo actually you know what their logo their standard logo is not nice but then every once in a while they wear those like pirate flags like the warning flag and those ones are always sick and all my hockey friends are always

is like, why won't they make those, the main jerseys? Everyone's begging for it. It's clearly the winning design. Like get rid of the other like goofy, just the cyclone itself. What do you guys think about this? So most sports, the really good teams are just going to always beat the bad teams. Like the bad team just doesn't have a chance. NBA is the best example where like the thunder are the best team and whoever they play in the first round is going to get rocked.

Like they are going to lose. But in hockey, even when you're like best, better than someone. You're not that much better. You're like a little better. So in any series, kind of anyone can win. Do you guys think that's good or bad? I think it's good for entertainment. Just for watching it, it's entertaining. And the reason for that is like you can throw LeBron or you know, whoever the all Wembe or whatever out there for most of the game in basketball. Even if you have Connor McDavid on your team or Sidney Crosby or Alex Ovechkin, they can't be out there all game. Like they're, if they play a ton, they'll be out there for, you know, 22 minutes.

or something as a four-way, which is a third of the game. Yeah, because you can't... Well, you can't leave guys out there for too long because then they're going to be starting to get fatigued and get matched up against fresh guys from the other team. And so you need to constantly be shifting fresh guys out. Otherwise, you're going to... But it seems like Star Power and just wins over anyway.

And like they just... A lot of guys play the whole game or they used to anyway. Yeah, but the NBA isn't filled with like wind sprints like hockey. Yeah, it's a lot of very high, like when you're out there and imagine if every NBA player the entire time they were out there was like sprinting. Like yeah, they should be. Why aren't they? I don't, because they have to play the whole game because they kind of game theoryed it out. They figured out what works. If they can't play hard. Are you calling them lazy, Kyle? They're so fucking lazy. I hate seeing the lack of hustle in certain sports by certain players. When I see it in baseball, when someone doesn't run out of ground ball. I'm like, man, if I was the owner, I'd fucking get rid of that guy.

I'd mess his life up. I would back to fucking Myrtle Beach to play ball. I would love to see Kyle own a sports team. Oh my God, that would be amazing. The Redskins. Yeah. I'd want one of those those. We're bringing it back.

You don't want the name. We're taking it. There's probably a lapsed copyright. It's all yours now. Atlanta doesn't have a hockey team? Atlanta Redskins. go. They tried twice and they just gave you got they still had the old expansion rules, which was effectively like, okay, you guys get to pick from the absolute dungeon of quality players. And so they would get like, oh, we have Kovilchuk and Hosa, two really good players. And it's like, yeah, but you got like 22 other guys who were dog shit and were like literally borderline

minor leaguers in the other at the time, 30 teams. We lost a lot of games. Carolina. I think they're the best place to be a hockey player. I think if you're a hockey player in Toronto, you can't go grocery shopping without someone giving you a hard time. Either they're criticizing you or they're sucking you off or something, but you just can't be alone. Between the helmet and visor and the fact that not everyone's a hockey fan in Raleigh, you can turn your fame on and off.

And that's the ideal. If you want to be famous, then just go to a hockey location of some sort. And everywhere else you're not famous. You get to just be rich. So Woody, if I may, your argument is that Atlanta should have a hockey team because no one likes hockey. Is that that the argument? Yeah, yeah.

All right, old dude. I get people in there. For a while, by the way, Woody. I forget if we talked about that before or not. What was that? I lived in North Carolina for a while. Oh. I went to high school in Raleigh.

Oh, okay. And I went to UNTW. Okay, cool, cool. He spent a investor. sure, but it was a suspect. Yeah, it counts. I moved here when I was 26. So,

while ago. I think hockey's terrible on TV, but it's great in person. And that if the Atlanta hockey's the best in person. If they had some free nights, you know, and they like went to,

like honestly to black people, to black communities and got them to experience what a hockey game was and definitely get us a black player. Like, get us a black player that they can root for.

Then you could have an Atlanta hockey team. But if you, You just show like, I know I hated hockey because I had only seen it on Fox with the glowing puck. And I was just like, that was a mistake. They shouldn't have done that. Yeah, I thought it was so silly. And then when my roommates finally took me to a couple games, I was like, this is awesome. Dude, hockey has the biggest drop off between TV and real of any sport.

It's like not even remotely close. Going to hockey games is super fun. The chill in the air. The crowd gets really into it. It's like people are banging on the, it's so great to go. And then on TV, it's just, I. feels like soccer you know you're little energy wow well phrased yeah if you don't know hockey well like and you didn't play it growing up i could see how it'd be really tough to watch on tv because

your impulse is to try and follow the puck you should be following the players and watching their positioning and what they're doing with their skate blades with their lower body their stick like and you can kind of predict the play that way and see what's happening but if you're like new to it and you're just trying to follow that time little moving a million miles an hour little black disc it would probably be in the arena was was 50% of the the allure to me because I was used to baking in the stands watching baseball and football and uh and even in basketball games in our gym it'd be so fucking hot and sweaty in the stands like even we didn't you know but hockey it's like better bring a jacket it's chilly in here you feel like it makes

you feel like you're kind of part of the game in some small way like you're you're you're You can feel the cold of the ice down there. And then, like, you don't see it on TV, but every now in the puck fucking launches into the goddamn crowd. That's, now I'm focused. I got to be heads up or I might get taken out. Make you cheap out. They got those nets up now because that lady died in Columbus.

What is, are they in the middle of the ring too? The net? No, no, only on the side. Yeah, just on the end. Yeah, yeah. There was like a, and that's for a good idea, by the way. If they went diagonally, it seemed like it would get loose in the stands.

I remember a lady got hit at a, game I was at. And my friend was like, he was Lithuane. He was like, this is why you have to be heads up. Kyle, you're going to add new technology to sports. When they put new tech in sports, in my opinion, it usually gets better. I know you guys didn't like the streaks on the puck. And like, I get that. But baseball with its, you know, balls and strike system that they're getting it right now, I love it. Tennis got it right a long time. ago and hockey's adding some new stuff trying to make the game more watchable. I don't

have an opinion on it yet but Taylor you're familiar with this like in in the back of their jerseys they sewed in like a transponder type thing called a GPS and now they have stats on how much the players are traveling all game long it's like a new way to measure the players and they can do like I don't think they do it all game long but sometimes when there are replays they'll put the players names for to hovering above them with tech. Yeah that's good. They couldn't. Are you like that? I like that. And I think the stats thing you're saying is also great

because they'll show up little highlights where it'll be like, holy fuck, McDavid was going 31 miles an hour right there. Like that guy's flying right now. That's great. You get cool stats. I would be the fast I could go. I bet I go over 20. Kyle, you're going to be 80 years old one day and you're like,

you know where America went wrong? When they put in those nets at hockey games, now I don't even want. watch. They don't know how good they have. You know what? That lady in Columbus wouldn't have died if she was paying attention. That's absolutely right.

If you're not, if you're a casual fan, maybe this isn't the game for you. All right. There's a deadly plug that flies into the crowd. Have you guys ever sat court-sighted at a basketball game? Not basketball. Hockey, yes.

That's a situation. I've only done it a couple of times. But when you're that close and you see how big these people are, you're like, Oh shit. I got to stay focused here. Like this could be like if they, because you'll see a clip where it's like someone will barrel into the stands and you're just like. Yeah. Dangerous.

You know, they're very large people. Dude, one time I met Shaq and I'm faceblind, right? So there's this enormous black guy in the lobby. Woody. Wait for the Jersey. I would have been confused.

Wait for the story. So there's this enormous super big black guy in the lobby. And everyone's like surrounding him. and stuff, and they're like, Shaq's here, Shaq's here. So I'm like, oh, fuck, that's him, right? And then an even bigger guy comes. That one's actually Shaq. The other one was security for Shaq.

I saw my friend on the other side of the street. I was heading to school with the kids. I let go of Mom's hand to wave. I had already forgotten their lunches. I ran over to hug her. She came out of nowhere. And then it stopped. Sometimes the moments that never happen matter.

most. Volvo's automatic emergency braking helps ensure a safe ending for everyone. Learn more at VolvoCars.cairs slash safety. You got his shirt autograph by Shaq's the tree guard. What he's watching it, he's like, that's so

cool that Shaq carries a gun. That's amazing. That's great. Yeah, I feel like Shaq is someone I couldn't miss. improved. Imagine if you put some cameras on the helmets. I don't see any reason why you can't put me a live feed on somebody's helmet. I would love to see them moving really fast, skating in and out. I'd love to know, and I don't watch hockey, so I don't know if they already do

stuff like this, but I'd like to see them mic'd up. I'd like to, because the impacts are so violent. They would sound really good. I want to know how fast the puck's moving, because I think that's an impressive stat. And baseball, they've got the rotation rate of the ball. They've, you know, they've got everything laser fucking guided i appreciate all that stuff but whenever i see especially in the nfl when they're miced up and you kind of get a little dose of personality of these guys of like how sometimes they're just kind of playful and it's like they're slapping their opponent on the butt good one out there i'll see i'll see it blah blah blah tonight it's like oh that's cool they got a little camaraderie there i like that like it's it's nice to get the inside i like the

the uh the miced up thing way more than i like the coach interview or the player interview They're like, oh, yeah, so you did really well there with that, with that offensive obsession. What were you thinking? He's like, oh, well, you know, I just got to score. And the thing was, like, I had a shot, so I took it. And you're just like, what are we getting from this, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. We had a Russian player who was like an all star for us back in the day on the St. Louis blues. And in the first couple of years, he didn't speak English well. So every interview they'd be like, Vladie, you know, what were you thinking when you went in on that breakaway and scored the winning goal. And he'd be like, you know, it is a big part of game to score. And I'm very happy to make a score. And they're like, thanks for that, Vladdy.

Get back out there. Like, you're just like, that's funny. I remind me a little bit of, there's a basketball player named Stephen Adams, really big dude. I think it's from Australia. Huge guy. And his interviews are always like, you know, you know, Stephen, you have a great rebounder. Like, what is it about you that lets you?

rebound. I'm a big bloke, mate. I just reached my hand up there and I grabbed the ball. You haven't heard his recent one. He explained the science of rebounding. So like he said, this guy's a big guy. He's strong. And he's often considered the strongest guy in the NBA currently. And he's like, it's about boxing out. And if you look at the backboard, that's 180 degrees. 180 degrees is like the, you know, the possibility of where this ball could go off the rebound. So I'm positioning myself to control as many of those degrees as possible. Like 90's about best case scenario. And he's like, you know, but if I control 90% and that I can make that other guy only

control 20%, odds are I get that rebound. And I was like, ah, shucks, I never thought of it like that. Now I'll be a rebounding monster, maybe. Oh, that's a much better story. I wish he'd said that when I was listening. There's like compilations of him breaking up fights, and he's so big and strong. Two players will be like all agro pushing, maybe even throwing or wrestling. He just bear hugs one and walks them to another area of the court.

They like lifts them and carries them like their children. And the people being carried are like, well, I guess this is my life now. Okay. Stephen Adams is moving me. The NBA would be more fun. I get, you know, they can't do like hockey style full fist punches, but maybe open hand slaps. maybe you allow something like that. When it gets down and dirty, someone's really mad. You can't have a mob, but two guys can pair off and just do get out.

One of the challenges is jumping makes you vulnerable. In hockey, you can keep your head up and kind of be ready to get hit all the time. But if a big part of the sport is jumping, then the low bridge is like always there. You can't have violence in basketball the same way. Yeah, that's fair. I'd just being selfish because that would make it more fun for me. Oh, I agree. It would be more fun.

Yeah. It would be. Oh, man. Imagine if the players were more physically scared of each other, like the impact that would have. I think you'd see less like dynamic athleticism, you know, like imagine a guy who's fucking low Earth orbit flying like under the, the rim and the backboard as he does a reverse layup.

That shit's gone when you add checks. Like, that's not a good play anymore. I think that's the reason there isn't more lacrosse style goals in the NHL. I think the hitting just prevents all that hot dogging. Oh, yeah. You'll see people try and do the Michigan where they behind the net, like put the puck up onto their stick flat and then just tuck it in. If you've ever seen that where they scoop it right up, toss it in.

Zach can find a video. Are you talking about lacrosse? No, it's a lacrosse style goal in. Okay, Kyle, I'm a Neanderthal again. We're good, man. I got you back. But like when guys try that in the NHL, because you have to be staring at your own stick with the puck trying to do it, it's like a welcome to the show moment where they're like, they'll just blow you up. And now you're like getting carried off in a stretcher because you try to do some goofy shit that worked in the minors.

Yeah. It's a great sport. It's a great sport. And they do what you said earlier. They don't do it enough, but they do track the speed of the shots. I think they only do it like when it's impressive. So it'll be like, oh, that slap shot went 102 miles an hour. That's crazy.

Like, that's a big boy shot. I would be interested in reaction time, maybe, from a goalie standpoint. Like, I don't know if there's a way to, to, like, measure that. But if they showed me that I would be impressed to see a goalie do that, that stick catching thing that test your reaction time. You've seen that they drop the sticks randomly. And, like, they seem like they'd be good at that sort of thing. I saw an F1 guy do that, and he was incredible. redible at it.

That makes sense. He had that... Pro goalies probably wouldn't be dropping too many of those. I think most people it's a quarter of a second, like 250 milliseconds or whatever. Golly's a tough job because there's so much random variance and it matters so much what situations the defense gives you.

Like, if they get a two-on-one breakaway and you're the goal, you're just like, all right, I'm going to do my best here, but like, come on, guys. You know, but then the goal, it's like, oh, the goal needs to be better. Yeah, and everybody's mad at you. Yeah. That's not fun. when the crowd

Our goalie had that great shot at the end to win. If a goalie gets noticed, he did something uncommon in a positive way. You know, like, ah, got 54 blocks that game. Wow. You know, he stood on his head. Oh, in the Olympics, the best player,

maybe for America was the goalie. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Connor Hellebuck. But I would guess he got a lot less time than the guy that scored the game winner. that's the nature of goalie. Sure.

But that's one of those things where you interviewed any of those guys who scored on the U.S. team afterward. And they're like, you know, the reason we won is, you know, Hellebuck back there was a wall for us. Like we would have been fucked if he hadn't stood on his head and been crazy. Sure, sure. But he's not the one on the Wheaties box. But he's not the one, you know, I think part of the reason they made him stand in the back for like their, you know, White House picture was because he's like 6-7 or something ridiculous. and the guy who scored the goal is like, he's like one of those guys who claims

5-9, but I'd be surprised if he was over 5-8, and it's only because he's so speedy and so skillful that he even made it in the league. That's a teeny little guy for professional hockey, any professional sport. Hockey's one of those sports where like when America's playing versus other countries,

I'm like, I don't care about this. And US wins, like, yeah, we're America's big, guys. And the moment that we live is, I'm like, yeah, no one cares about hockey. It's hockey. That's how I feel about soccer, but I do care about hockey. Like when, but I, we have a World Cup this year.

Are we, but are we good? Or are we kind of? I don't know about the US team. I'm saying we're hosting it. Like the countries. It's in America. The host country makes the World Cup. They don't have to earn it.

So we'll feel the team after that. We'll see. It's going to be a shit show. It's going to be a sparkle with the immigration stuff and the political stuff. It is going to be wild because hockey fans. I mean, like the fans who would normally come to this thing from all over the world, namely South America probably since it's in L.A., I believe. Like, things are a little different now.

I think it's going to be wild. Okay, guys, for our odds. Just to, like, complete the circle, FIFA should give Trump another peace prize. Just to put some value on what the FIFA piece prize is really worth. All right, guys. So it took us two hours and eight minutes for Kyle. talking about immigration. The over came in, so I'll be collecting it. I'm finally hosting this month in LA.

You know, we talked about this about a year ago when it was first announced. The enhanced games are taking place May 24th. I sent a link over there to the website. So for those that don't know, there's no drug testing. And there's rather sort of like drug encouragement. So these guys are on steroids, human growth hormone, Adderall, everything, and they're competing in a number of games. I'm going to watch this.

I'm curious. I wonder if great athletes who don't have to pretend they're not on steroids can beat the greatest athletes who do pretend they're not on steroids. You see what I'm going to do with it? Yeah. I don't know. No one from the main core four sports is going to go play in that, right? What kind of games is it?

Yeah, I was about to say, because that's, that's kind of the fun part. So there's going to be swimming, track, weightlifting, strong man, and, oh, that may be all, that's all I'm seeing here. But I'm seeing that there's, I don't know any of these people's names, but there's like notable athletes from. No fighting. I guess as I process it, like you're not going to have badminton in the enhanced Olympics. Some guys shredded out of his mind. All those failing events. If you think about how many events are the summer Olympics that aren't about steroids.

You got a little thing up there saying he hit the shuttle cock, you know, 105 miles an hour. One of the contestants in this for weightlifting is this big dude. His name is Thor. Thor Bjoranson? I'd like to get some bets down on Thor. What do you guys think? Is it Thor?

I thought it was Thor Bjornson. He's the, because he's like an actual professional. strong man. He's the guy who played the mountain in Game of Thrones. And I think maybe he doesn't hold it anymore because these things seem to change hands relatively quickly. But he had the world deadlift record of like

a thousand and five, a thousand and ten pounds. Was it a real deadlift record? Because I remember one of them, the weight, the plate seemed extra tall. Like there's a name for it. I forget what it is. Like a wagon wheel or something. And I'm like, oh shit.

I could pick more up if it was halfway there already. Well, he's incredibly tall. Like, I bet I bet it like it's still There should be a standard

on the bar distance from the ground. Yeah, of course. Perhaps it's a sport. I think the main problem was I think his dad put the weights on the bar and they're like in a gym somewhere.

I think I heard Eddie Hall talking about this. He's like, when I did it, I'm in front of like the judges at Strongman competition to 20, 21 or whatever. Like all of those

and if you think about it, if you're going to, they're going to lift a thousand pounds. If each of those plates is only off by an ounce, then we have fucked up this record. You know, if they're off by the small, there's so many plates that the smallest variance starts causing a problem. So now you need special fucking plates that are weighed to the milly ounce or whatever, to the gram, at least.

I like milly ounce. Yeah, milly ounce. Yeah, a million ounce. I'm hearing milly amps, like the voltage, voltage measurement. Yeah, no, a million ounce. Yeah. I can tell that. How many kilometers did he lift?

Yeah. Eddie Hall, I could tell that his was real because his like head almost exploded while he was doing, he's just pouring blood from his nostrils as he was doing it. I hate watching the attempts. Like I watched them when he did it.

One of them, I watched them do it and they drug the bar over their shins and they peeled all the skin off their shins in the lip. And it's profusely. And then like, I think it's Eddie Hall who had the terrible nose bleed while he's doing it. Like blood's gushing out of him.

I saw a woman, she was squatting, and she pissed and blood shot out of her nose. Like it was coming out of both ends. That's a tough situation. Was that on motherless? That came so fucking hard. I don't call that a strawberry sandy.

Maybe I'm misremembering. I thought the mountain. Thor Bjoranson had a legit one because the video I'm remembering it was like it wasn't him in a gym it was like where there's that giant thing of like protein powder sponsorships behind him on that giant

tarp yeah I just know I saw Eddie Hall like questioning the questioning the legitimacy of his lift for X, Y and Z reasons and he had a few those guys are not friends you wouldn't think so is any Hall the one that fought the two midgets in MMA Yeah, but oh, I think so.

But no, you know Eddie Hall and Thor like rivals. They hate each other. Of course. I mean, it makes sense. Or they just know how to put on a show. Who knows? You can't tell and like support. Didn't they fight each other too?

Which I guess again, it could be the work. You know, and not a work. That means fake fight. But it could be a fake rivalry. It says that half Thor Julius Bjornson's deadlift world record is 1,124.4 pounds. that's heavy yeah it's heavy

it's not bad when you're like six foot nine or six foot ten or whatever that monster is like that's a lot further to pull it yes you'd think that the record would be held by a short person like did you ever see great do sets lifts he did uh I think it's called sumo style where you spread your legs

really wide and then you only have to lift at like four inches before you're at full extension. Especially as short as he is. And he's very short and he spread his legs really wide and he'll tell you like, yeah, it's in the rules and it's easier to do it that way. I mean, I guess it's fair. It's just, he's mechanically better at it.

You could say that about so many guys on bench press records. Like my arms are so long. Like I'm never going to lift 700 pounds. Right. But if my arms were half as long, it could probably get pretty close. Yeah. You got half the work, half the distance of travel. So my problem on Deadless is the grip.

Like I just can't hold the weight. Like, it's not, I'm not limited by, like, if I use straps, I can go way more than if I, if I'm just trying to hold it. It feels like cheating with the straps, though. I think they're allowed to use straps because you, can human hands even hold that much? Yeah. 1,100 pounds. You know, they do that one strong man thing where they like, oh, the pillars? They like hold up one bar.

and like another they're basically being stretched apart by two pillars. I always like that one because that one to me is almost more clearly it's about strength, but it's also about like pain tolerance and intensity and drive and stuff. And you can see them like suffering while they're holding it and like cranking out those last few seconds. I like stuff like that. It'd be interesting. Ever watch the hydraulic press videos where you see the maximum amount of pressure before

something gave way? Yeah. What if we did that in reverse? You stretch the pleeple and see. like how much they can resist before they quit or get ripped into they have to wear straps they're locked in the

William Wallace I'm watching the Eddie Hall thing you said and it's not the dwarf fight he's like fighting two guys who are both probably 5-8 and that's what I'm man this should be illegal what's happening like this is not a close fight

he's I'm surprised that he punched isn't dead So they pissed him off. They like antagonized him a lot. I remember I saw one of them take his water jug away from him at the press conference. He had like this enormous expensive looking water jug. And this little midget fellow took it. And he's like sipping out of it.

And then I feel like he was thirsty. Like he needed that water jug. And he just seemed real mad about it. They said something. They may have even hit him like slapped him or something. He didn't hold back at all. He pumbled those two guys. Oh yeah.

This is like when you've seen those videos when like a lion has had enough. with a couple of hyenas and it just decides like, all right, I'm the king of this place for a reason. I'm going to kill one of you right now. Yeah. That's what this is. He's like a different species. Like it would be, I would almost rather fight an animal of some kind than Eddie Hall. There are a lot of animals I'd kick over him.

Yeah. I'd definitely rather fight like a big angry dog than Eddie Hall. Yeah. I mean, Eddie Hall is so big that you look at him and you're like, he must be short. No. You're like, no, that guy's like 6, 3, 6.4. Yeah. But some of his competitors are like 610.

So he looks short at 6.3 until he stands next to me. And then it looks tall. Yeah. He's like bigger than Brock Lesnar by a lot. Speaking of what is that, is that still fighting? Not in the U.S. Oh, I thought I heard he retired and that he was going to start doing regular fighting. Retired from wrestling and started.

Recently? There was talk of that like three years. years ago. But I think what the deal was is every time he negotiated contracts, it used these organizations against each other. Oh, that's fair. Then one bought the other and it became kind of hard. Like it's all the same organization now, so it's kind of hard to go back and write the year of C and W.W.E. have the same owner. Ownership? Yeah, it's WME maybe, something like that, the umbrella thing. They're all

owned to buy the same people. Remember when Dana sold it, or not Dan, but like for Tita brothers who ever sold it um five six years ago or something like that billions of dollars yeah that was a WME i believe yeah now that you say it's a tk oh right i did know that yeah yeah but i i i like the uh but i i like the state of the ufc right now i like dana i always have i like that he's friends with the president i like they were getting this white house card like i'm pretty psyched for that i i know we keep saying that like it's not the card we wanted. More was promised, but it's still a pretty damn good card.

And I want to see the show of being on the White House lawn. I want to see the facilities. I want to see the ring. They've never fought outdoors. During the pandemic, there was this thought that Dana White's like, nobody will put on our fights, you know, the athletic commissions because of the COVID restrictions. We bought

an island. We secured an island. And everybody was like, oh my God, it's Mortal combat. This is mortal combat. He is going to have a tropical island. And on the beach. There's going to be a fucking kumate with the world's greatest fighters. And two or three times a month, he's going to roll them out, palm trees in the back, water shushing up on the shore with the waves, and fucking Bruce Buffard in the middle of it, sweating his ass off in a cheap

suit. I can't wait. And that's not what happened. They actually just did a deal with the Abu Dhabi or somebody like that and just did it over there on an island. Yeah, it's Yaz Island, but it's a big fucking developed island with a stadium in it. So this time, Fight island's meant to run off a generator. Yes, yes. There should be a home. It should be like baseball lighting or something like that,

like a cheap little league field. But now we're getting outdoor fight for real on the White House lawn. And I can't wait to see who shows up. I want to see celebrities and I want to see Trump there. I hope Trump takes some part in it, kind of like a Caesar, thumb up, thumb down kind of thing. I would imagine that. Like, tell me, what if Trump comes out in the robe with like the wing,

the little wing, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, crown. Oh, like Caesar. Like, he comes out in the purple robe and every, I'd be up. He'd realize how much more forgiving that robe is than like a traditional student. And then he'd just start going with it. Marko's wearing one. Jady's wearing one.

Everybody get their robe up in his McDonald's. You know what I want out of the year? I want a little weather related complications. It can't be rain. probably most people are thinking rain, but they'll probably change the night for rain. But what if it's really windy? Like windy enough that like it kind of matters. Or what if it's really hot?

You know, I know it's a nighttime thing, but what if it's still like 87 at night? Dana said it will not be rained out. They will not stop for rain. They will only stop for lightning. Wait, what? Oh, now I want rain. I didn't think that was a possibility. They'd fight in rain.

It's going to be like that scene in the matrix. When the rain's falling down and Neo faces off against Agent Smith and all the million Agent Smiths are lining the sidewalk. And he's like, the others of me will just watch Mr. Anderson while I tear you apart. Yeah. I want like hard rain. I want like dead leaves blowing through in June for some reason. It's DC Woody, a garbage bag. Don't hit her with a needle.

I was doubling a couple of syringes. yeah I'm hyped for it and like honestly that them adding that uh Josh Hokit uh fight against the Black Beast is a big plus to me that's that makes the fight the whole thing 15% better I like both those guys. Hocut's so good on the mic he's got this gimmick the schick of just rhyming wWF not WWF style trash talk like like just silly rhymes he's wearing a cloak like a Jedi or something like that. It's funny. He's picking on Ilya who weighs 50 pounds less than him. He's just starting fights

with anybody and everybody. And he's going to fight Derek Lewis, the fucking Black Beast. The guy, the most unathletic UFC fighter that still exists, maybe, but he's got one punch knockout power that can't be denied. They're probably going to go, I guess it's going to be three rounds. But I'm psyched for it anyway.

And I love the origin of it. Trump literally tells Dana like, hey, why isn't Derek Lewis fighting on my White House? card. He's like, oh, you want him? Boop, poop, poop, poop. And he's like, Hockett, do you want to fight Derek? Yep, absolutely. Stepping into an ambulance, no other sports like that. Like, LeBron never had to say yes to like another round of the playoffs while stepping into an

ambulance. Like, the fact that that's even a possibility is cool to me. I'm just hoping Dan take some time on the phone to get this gambling bill reversed. That's my, that's my big, my big takeaway. Yeah, that would be nice. I mean, it seems like he'd be a guy. in your corner because the UFC has all those betting partnerships. And he clearly has the president's ear in a way that most people don't. There might be 25 people in the world that have as much influence and contact with the president as Dana-Wa. They forged that relationship earlier, early when no one would put the UFC fights on.

No one would host them. The entire states would say no. That's why UFC 1 or 2 or whatever is in, like, Dothan, Alabama, couldn't find it on. a map, you know? And then like Trump is like, oh yeah, I got a whole casino. We have fights here. And it's like yeah, come here, come to New Jersey, fight in my place and like save

the business that early on. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm psyched for that. Derek Lewis fights. I've not watched too much you. I've seen the last couple of years, but I have watched some or, you know, a few before I followed him more. His fights are funny because they can be so good or so bad.

Oh, yeah. Like, some of the bad ones, it's just like three rounds of nothing happened. Like who did he fight where there was like no punch just thrown? Inganu. Yeah, he had Nagano. I watched that and you're like this is going to be sick and then it's just nothing. And that went to a decision too, right?

Yeah. You would think in Ganu Derek Lewis like the only guarantee in this fight is that it won't go three rounds. Or maybe it was fine. One. Like I didn't even go one round with those two guys. Two of the hardest hitting. heavy weights of ever on the planet maybe like Jesus and then they just pity pat it i mean

either one of them want neither one of them want to take the risk because they they both need this other guy could just knock them out so they just both didn't take any chances and didn't throw any throws i mean i think nagonu won that with like some super small number of punches thrown or something 16 or 25 you know something like that like it was nothing it was incredibly boring fight it was terrible and then you've seen derrick lewis have these crazy comebacks like he did against volkhov where he's been beaten for the entirety of the fight. And then in the final round, for some reason, Volkov is still marching forward and sticking his chin out.

And Derek just says, good night. And I think that was my balls as hot night. That's what, I saw that. If he loses that fight, he's, he's on like a three-fight skid or something. He's relegated to like fight night cards. He's won away from being cut. But instead, he puts Volkov, this big, blonde Russian motherfucker out. And then he comes on the mic and take.

he takes his fucking shorts off, he's in his boxers. And Joe Rogan's like, why'd you take your shorts off? He's like, my balls was hot. And Rogan's like, I understand. And it's just, like, it's a scariest moment. I wonder why he really took his shorts off. I think balls were hot. I don't, those were loose shorts over, like, cycling shorts.

And I don't think they actually cooled off his junk. I, my theory is it had to do with being. hit and just not thinking straight. I mean, that didn't help. I mean, it's... Yeah. All the things to have conspiracy theories about, why did Derek Lewis air his balls?

I have to know. I have to know back into the left, back into the left. We use thermal technology to determine the balls were only 99 degrees, 0.4 degrees above average, far too low a temperature for his poles to have been hot. He's either lying to us or maybe there's a code to be read. I wish I had my laser thermometer in that day. The UFC is like coming after you the way the FFA does. Like the little people with the laser pointers at the planes.

Yeah. Apparently they take that. Wait. Oh, it is. No, no. Oh, yeah. They come get you. Yeah.

That's a, that's thousands of dollars of fines and like serious like legal ramifications. It's such a big deal. Are they over playing? Why is it so bad to shine a laser at a, plane a mile away. I don't look at it like getting the cockpit and pilots blind now. I don't know.

So they're not talking about laser pointers like you get on a key chain back in the day. They're talking about those one watt green lasers. Now I know that mine will blind me instantly if I were to shine it on my eyes. It kills bugs. It pops balloons. It lights matches. It burns holes in cardboard. I don't know how much pop it's got if I should.

shine it into your eyes 5,000 feet away. I don't know. But I wouldn't want to get hit by it. I wouldn't volunteer to be the test dummy. You'd think there'd be enough like humidity in the air or something to dissipate some of that power.

Yeah. It would. But like again, like I just don't know how much. Like I, that thing's when you shine it on a wall, it hurts to look at the wall. It's so bright.

Maybe that's why it's bad. Is it dissipating in all that moisture and up there it's like their whole front of the plane or something. They can't see it. Makes it worse, could be. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. But they don't play about that.

They'll find you. They find you way too effectively. I don't understand. You're shining a beacon to an aircraft. You shine a beacon at my parable. I don't know. It was somewhere below me. I'm sure of that.

But these guys seem to know your address in a heartbeat. Yeah. Yeah, like murderers get away, but they find those guys. Well, see, well, think about it. Like, they know where the aircraft was while the video that they're shooting of the guy shining the laser at them was taken. Like, you don't need rainbolt to put this one together. We're going to go back to the office and we're going to do a little math here and pull up the street map. And we're going to go get Johnny over there with his green laser and give him $10,000 fine and send him to jail.

Take his laser away. He's lazy away. Good at his job. I think we need to throw him in a really. and see if he sinks. He might be a witch. I think the CIA needs to recruit him. I'm sure that they could utilize him. I bet if they had like

some intel, if they raid some terrorist compound and there's some picture of some terrorist. And in the background, you can see like, I don't know, a coffee cup and like a palm tree. Give that rainbow. Like, forget those psychics. That's bullshit. Give Rainbolt that photo.

He'll tell you where that guy is. Do you know who that is, Doug? Do you know who Rainbolt is? Oh, you know. No, Rainbow? He's a geogist. professional. Are you familiar with Geogessor? Yeah. So Geogessor is a game where it just drops you in the middle of somewhere that Google Maps has already, you know, had their car run through. And then you just have to, based on your surroundings, guess where on earth you are. And sometimes it's just woods. It's Google Maps Street View. You've seen this before. Yeah. So it'll be like some,

a storefront would be really easy, right? You'd figure that out quickly. But it'll be like a trail in the woods or dirt road in Ecuador somewhere. Okay, I literally saw this one. It was a dirt road in Brazil with no markings, nothing identifying, etc. You just had to use like the foliage, the position of the sun, you know, northern or southern hemisphere and the dirt and whatever. And he's instantly like, oh, that's Brazil. And then he starts like put it and he puts it, he's like 15 miles off, right, which is really, really good. Brazil is the size of the continental US for those who don't know. It's a gargantuan country. And he's. gets it really, really close.

And they're like, how did you know that? And he said, it was Brazilian dirt. What the, oh my. But at the low levels of being good at it, people will be like, oh, those are those bollards there. That's the kind of ballard they use in Slovenia. And also you see they're driving on, they'll know what countries are on the right side of the road versus the left.

And I'm sure we all know a few that do one or the other, but not all of them. You'd be sometimes there are weird exceptions. foliage, obviously the sun, whether in northern hemisphere or southern hemisphere, but like all sorts of these and he plays like an advanced

level of the game. When we play it together for fun, we can rotate our camera 360 degrees and look at everything. He'll play a version, and we have like 30 seconds to make our decision. He'll play a version where you can't move the camera at all and like you have to decide almost instantly

and it's, it's incredible. the wealth of the amount of knowledge that he has absorbed and how quick he is with it. It's like magic. I saw people sending him requests at one point where some lady was like, oh, my parents passed away, but here's a picture of them. Somewhere in the Mediterranean, I don't quite remember, but there is kind of a distinctive looking rock behind them.

Could you help find this? And he found the exact area, like the exact area, like, to the foot of where it was. And I don't even think it took him that long. You watching a short of him right now, Doug? Yeah. What the hell? I think he is a witch.

Yeah. Yeah, he's a machine. It's incredibly impressive. He proved that somebody was, you know, that Epstein was at Mar-a-Lago. Is that what it was, or was it a wedding? No, it was that, like, it was, I think, Larry Ellison or somebody. There was an equestrian event that,

takes place at maybe Larry Ellison's house. And Ellison had claimed he hadn't had contact with Epstein after a certain date. But using the picture, he was able to, and it was just a picture of like, I don't know, him and some chairs in a backyard. And he's like, oh, those chairs are this, that, and the other. Look in that background. You see in that guy's hand, that's an invitation. Let's zoom on in. And he's like looking at the borders of the invitation, the trees in the background.

And by the time he was done, he didn't just say. oh yeah that's his house he was like it's this part of his backyard right here here here's that tree there's the same tree in the background it's incredible and meanwhile when you try to play this any of us will be like this is got to be Australia can't be anything else and then the map zooms out and it's like Argentina and you feel like a retard because you're 10,000 miles away I'll be continent you guys is going to be look let's just face it. facts, we're American. We don't know many countries.

Like, if it came down to it, how many countries do you think you guys could name? There's like, what, 250 countries or something like that? Is that right? I don't know. I got 25 in me. How many countries are there? Do we know?

Isn't it like 240? It varies depending on it or something. I thought it was 180 something, but I'll check it. See, this is what I'm saying. We're dead. Under pressure, I would struggle. If I got to sit down with a pen and paper, I feel like I could knock out a lot of them.

Like, there's a bunch of Africa that I don't know. but most of Europe and most of Asia and most of yeah most of the world I think I know hold on I'd have a hard time all right you get me a map labeled I would struggle greatly Kyle Kyle you think you know most of the world I mean hold on most of the world no not the definition of most wouldn't apply but I know great many it depends if you're saying could create a list of countries accurately place them on the map or you're saying That's what I was about to say. You give me an unlabeled map.

I'm going to struggle so badly. It's going to be embarrassing. Like, I'm going to get like 25, maybe 30 countries. Here's where I shine. There's a hundred and ninety-five countries. If you were to list them, I bet 180 would ring a bell. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Let's do this. Kyle. I'm going to give you a $100 free roll. If you can do this, you want $100. Okay. I'm going to trust you.

you not to cheat, obviously you're on your computer. If you can write 150 countries right now. I can't. I definitely cannot. He'll have to be silent for the next half hour. No, I definitely cannot. No.

I mean, I know all the medium size ones for sure. I'll take 50. I bet I can list 50 right now. What'd you say, Woody? I bet I can list 50 right now. Oh, what do you? Woody, I feel like you could list some countries. in the lineup of you guys

I would say Woody strikes me as the guy that could list the most countries does that seem fair? I'm not sure. I think I've missed a lot of countries. Taylor, Taylor knows all those African countries. He's one of those guys that when he hates something,

he delves deep into it. So he knows where's Senegal, Taylor? Senegal is That's Eastern. No, that would be that's not on the horn of Africa is it because that's like Somalia

and Zambia Well Somalia is like the exact horn of Africa Like it has that yeah Has that goofy shape Kind of in a little bit of South Africa was the horn Am I crazy?

I might be wrong I thought Eastern Africa Was the horn of Africa Because it kind of looks like a rhino horn You know Kind of comes out like that Doesn't do me Oh

Never mind. A penis. If I just had to sit in list. Yeah, there's Somalia. Way over there. Okay. Yeah, see, it's like a horn. Is that not with the horn of Africa?

I think we're going down there to the south. I thought that is the horn of Africa. But what if you have Somalia there? And then I believe that larger country to the west is Ethiopia. Because that's Madagascar over there. Is that the big island? Madagascar. I didn't realize Asia was shaped like this.

Yeah. Not until you see it in a cartoonishly colored map, can you really make out? You used to it rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise. Okay, guys, how many of these countries could you put into these slots? One. I could tell me. I could only think of you. I know South Africa.

I know Somalia now. And I know Madagascar. You know Egypt? You know Egypt? I don't know which one of those is Egypt. Is it the little, little, little bity yellow one up there? No, no. Think of it.

Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know, bro. Okay, now that makes sense because I'm picturing like Israel over there and the rest of the Mideast, but I wouldn't have gotten it right at first. I knew it was- Algeria, Libya, Niger. We know the Middle East way better, right, because of all the wars. So maybe Africa can take a page out of the Middle East book, you know?

Yeah. Africa is stuff. I don't know nearly enough about Africa. Don't want to know. I think I can do six. It's for the birds, right? You could do six? Oh, come on.

Is that what you call them? I mean, you got South Africa. That's a freebie. Not a gas car. Egypt, Morocco. I know Morocco is on the north-western side, but I don't know which one it is. Sudan, maybe. Sudan and Congo.

Sudan. And now we have Sudan and South Sudan, right? There's a couple freebies. Oh, my God. You're so smart. All right. I nominate Taylor to represent America in the country off. I think you're going to really do great.

Yeah, geography is fun. Sometimes I have a globe and sometimes I just look at it. That sounds like a Michael Scott bit. You know? It's kind of funny, interesting. That reminded me of like that dinner party with Jan and Jim and and Pam.

Or he's like, this is my new flat screen. And it's like this like a little thing. He's like, sometimes I just stand here for hours. That's that energy. I went for the plasma. A nine inch plasma scro? Do you have a globe, Taylor? Yeah.

Could you get your globe? Yeah. I have a globe. All right, we're going to have a globe off. Let me see if I can find mine. I'll be back in less than a minute. I don't have a globe. I don't think my globe's going to win, but it's nice globe.

What he's got probably got some kind of fancy globe. He's probably got some light-up translucent globe or something like that. Does Taylor have a globe? Is that where he went? He went to go get his globe as well. We're having a globe off. I personally don't own a globe. I haven't owned one since I was like eight years old or something like that.

Let's see what we got here. A medium-sized globe. Nice. Man, next to your head, even the world looks small. Just a little globe. I like it. Doug also has a miniature globe. Yeah, I want.

I'm in the background for my... Do you think Woody will have the standard-sized globe? or will he have like a special one that's like translucent and lights up or something? I don't know. I don't know how detailed your guys globes are. But mine also has. So I'm I'm betting on like because they do so much homeschooling there or at least did that they have like a nice educational globe. I bet he's got a good one.

But does yours also have all the capitals on there of every country? Which? Does mine have it? Yes. Eritrea. I always forget what that one is. think it does yeah yeah yeah honestly africa's the hardest by far south america is not that tough the the the part of asia that's like kazakhstan kyrgyzstan turkestan urbeckistan

those are tough tajikistan that's tough the only one of those that i'm always confident is Kazakhstan because that's the biggest by far of them. Hey, that movie put them on the map. It really did. And, you know, they really, really, really was mean to them. Like, I felt bad for them. It's like this impoverished, like, former Soviet bloc country. They're just starting to get on the ups.

And then Borat's like, you are all retarded and horrible. Then, but also that voice was so funny. That movie rocks to this day. That was a great one. Yeah, you get down into Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan. The rodeo scene. Oh my God. The rodeo scene was good.

The Middle East is easy if you like. Yeah. Because, I mean, we've been there forever. And then the hardest part of Europe is when you get into like, Croatia, Serbia, Bosnia and Herga Zavina, North Macedon. Like, you get into those. Didn't Italy not Macedon?

and to qualify they had to beat like Bosnia and her whatever the other country is Her Zygia or what's the other Yeah I mean we lost but like it was Bosnia And her her Herzegovina I think

Yeah I can't believe it was my idea to do a globe off Thinking I was going to smoke everyone And I can't find my fucking globe I went I'm in my wife's office The Game of Thrones We have like three guest rooms.

I checked. Wait, I didn't check one. How rich. It's probably not there either. Like, I was just sprinting around the whole house looking for a globe. I couldn't find it. Oh, my. I've got to check the fire. You would have a few globes to look at.

This is nice. And on that, it's on the floor. It's like nipple tall. I would have won. I told y'all he had a fancy glove. I would have won. And meanwhile, he's like, I can confidently name 30 countries. I was trying to set a bar.

I do got to run. Appreciate you guys. Okay. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for coming. Always love you. Always good chatting, man. Take care with the phone on today. All right. Thanks. See you. I don't know where my globe is.

I'm going to do a little more globe in tonight, I think. You got to find that globe. Sometimes. I do. I asked Jackie where the globe was. She didn't know. I was like, you know the globe? It's like this tall. She's like, yeah.

Did it not survive the move? I don't know. It might be in one of the addicts. That's so funny to be like, you know the globe, you know, the Earth. The planet. She was like, how high are you? You are right now? She even said, like, there's no copies where we normally keep them.

Anyway. Yeah, I like to find in those countries that you don't think about. and then I like go and try and find YouTube videos from those countries or just like read their Wikipedia page. Because you'll like like Doug and I were just saying like you'll stumble upon like Tajikstan or something and be like what the hell's going on over there? What are these guys up to? Yeah. That's what I do. Yeah, but I do not with clothes, but with Google Maps.

And I'll like zoom in to the biggest port in Mongolia and be like, what's it like to work there? I wonder how many ships are coming out of Mongolian ports. hilarious landlocked country wait is it to the north no I really did this yeah south of Russia north of China

it is landlock but there's a body of water that I was capital city Ulan Batar that's amazing The Volga I don't even think they're up against the Caspian or the Blacksie I think they're just they're tied up

right in there They are a step people not known for their sailing prowess Yeah. Fuck. I've been exposed. But what was, I was looking at a town on,

on water. And, because that's what the population was. Anyway, I'm a little, I'm coming up blank right now. Oh, you're good.

I'm sure that just like most landlocked countries, they all live alongside some river. I don't know any rivers in Mongolia. There's only three million people there. I can't begin to pronounce this city. It's not my alphabet. Just have like,

blouse on it. It's a real I don't know this alphabet at all. But there is a crown car wash. What's it like to work there? You had a crown car wash in my Yeah. I'm going to get directions from my house. That's how it is at Geogessor, where you'll see a sign and you'll be like, okay, this is some of that Asian script, but it's definitely one of those Asian

countries, the other Asian countries, like it's a little loopier you know yeah it's not quite as structured as chinese or japanese or yeah well not Singapore I wouldn't think you I always'm like all right is this Thailand is this Vietnam are we are we lay ocean here I can almost always recognize Japanese because it's very distinctive and often Chinese because it's fairly distinctive too but when they start getting those little wiggly-wooes and curly cues on them and a couple dots above them like the Asian version of an umlaut like I'm lost I can't tell which country that is. I have no idea.

I'll pick Thailand and it'll be the Philippines or whatever. I don't know any of that. No, it's hard. Geography was definitely not taught in school for me. We never pulled out that map and started talking about where things were. That just didn't happen. That was always interesting. We didn't do it enough.

From historical standpoint, it's interesting. If you're learning about an event, it's important to know where it happened. But, like, we didn't really talk too much about, Turkey in school. That just never came up. Yeah. And who's to say where Turkey is? Is it the Middle East? Is it Asia? Well, it's right in the mix, right in the middle. Yeah, yeah, you got a little mixture of people there. The Turkish guy that I knew was had like very dark, greasy thick hair and his skin tone was definitely more olive. But he had like Caucasian features. He didn't look Asian at all. And I just always- Italian.

He, he, pulling your leg. No, his name was Barat. I'm Turkish. His name was Horace. His name was,

I want to say his name was Barack. Like the president. Like he was something like that. And he had a thick fucking accent. And somehow or another, he had married a girl from Alabama, like a good old country girl.

And she had like brought him over here. And he was like, the real world version of like borat like fish out of water didn't know anything about where he was selling cars he also had like a crazy like late I don't know if you call it a lazy eye when he's just cross-eyed they're just like fucking wonky all the time

you didn't know where he was looking it was real upsetting to talk to him I had a friend never mind he's still my friend I don't want to tell any stories about yeah this is a good opportunity to remain quite no that would have been horrible I can't say that

oh have you been following the White House reflection pool drama at all course yeah it seems like those balls they're throwing to get people off important stuff could be could be at the start of this term I aspired to not get caught up in every little tweet every little red herring like no no let's just If you're going to get outraged about something, it should be about something important and not something small.

But Trump tells this story where he's like, this reflection pool has been a problem for a long time. It's not nice. It's an embarrassment. And I had a friend come over from Germany, maybe. And he said, hey, your reflection pool is not really nice. So he said, I had an idea. I was going to make it nice like a swimming pool. And I talked to my pool guys, done many pools for me before.

And previous presidents, they were going to pay like. over $10 million for this thing. But not me, not me. I'm a builder. I know what I'm doing. So I get my pool guy, get an estimate. I say, I wanted to be blue like a pool. He says, no, that's not what you want.

He wanted to be American flag blue. He's like, yeah, that is what I want. So he's going to do this for $1.5 million, not the $10 million that other presidents were going to fuck it. One and a half million, my pool guy, I got it. And then it turns out the one and a half million figure was never true ever. That was just a lie that he told it was $6 million. And now it's not $6 million.

I'm hearing $13 million and $18 million. I don't know what the truth is. And I don't know that we'll even will know until it's done, done, because it could go over budget even more. Turns out they put out a no-bid contract to this company that doesn't make pools. The whole pool thing was a lie from the get-go. That story wasn't true. Instead, it's a company that does liners on the inside of pipes. I'm not sure that's relevant experience for a White House reflection pool or a DC reflection pool.

But this company doesn't work on pools. They normally make the inside of pipes like rejuvenated. And so it's behind schedule. The whole reason for the no bid contract was to get it done in time for something. I don't know with Fourth of July or the fight card. But like they didn't want to go through the bidding process so they could get it done quickly. But it won't be done on time. And it won't be done on budget.

And the price just keeps going up. And now Trump comes out and says that he never did have anything to do with this. It's the Department of the Interior that did it. And Trump's innocent. Meanwhile, there's all these tweets and like seven different interviews of him saying that he's the guy behind it. Now he's changed his story. And it's just a reflection pool. And $10,013, $18 million isn't a ton in regards to the federal budget.

But it's still like, have. Has there ever been a human whose word was less valuable than Donald Trump's? His pool guy puts in a big slide up at the fucking filthy kids lining up, sliding into it. What if they made it red like blood? That would have been hard. No, that's, that's sentence. It's just, and they're not doing any filtering mechanism, I'm told. Like if it was going to be American flag blue, but, you know, they're going to maintain it.

It was going to be nice. Like a typical crystal clear swimming pool. That'd be one thing. But for reasons I don't understand, apparently filtering that thing is not a thing America can accomplish. So it's just going to get algae filled again immediately. I think I read something about it where it's like the common chemical that you would use to prevent that isn't allowed there because it's like running off into some water source and that chemical isn't allowed in that water source. and that's why like for years it apparently looked like shit

I saw pictures of it like just from a few I guess before they started this like the fact no one like did anything about that is embarrassing it looked like shit you had to check those pictures because like I've seen the pictures where it absolutely looked like shit

and like they didn't even move the clouds from like the real picture they just photoshopped it looking worse than it did I just saw one looking like algae it's not like it was like you know there were monsters coming out of it or disgusting literally like algae lumps. You know, it wasn't just green.

They were like floating algae clumps. But you could tell by like the sky and the clouds and shit that they just fucked with a regular picture and made it look worse. So I don't know what to believe. I don't care about that stuff. I wish he wasn't wasting the money on it. But if it was going to be done, you would think you'd want to turn it into essentially a saltwater swimming pool.

Like like you'd want a salt. If environmental impact is an issue, make it a saltwater swimming pool. Put a bunch of fucking. catchers in there and put a couple of those pool robots in there to eat the algae or just put fish in there. Why not put fish that would eat the algae and make it a fucking like, you know, it's in a park. Go ahead and make it a real pond.

Put fish in there to eat the algae. Yeah, that looks pretty terrible. The CNN picture you just brought up. But also, yeah, that seems like a decent idea. Throw some fish in there. But then you... The fish one's interesting. Yeah, fish could be a good idea.

You could sell the fish, have a little fish fry every now and then. That helped finance. that's the whole thing. When I heard that he was painting it, I thought he was painting the monument itself blue. And I was like, oh my God, don't paint a fucking Washington monument blue. That's insane.

But then I heard he was doing the pool and I was like, oh, who fucking cares? In 2012, we spent 34 million to overhaul it and it didn't seem to work as well as being in the moment itself, though, was what you're referring to. I mean, they may have done something to reflecting pool as well.

I would imagine they spiffied it up a bit, but they did a major refurb on the monument itself because it had this scaffolding around it for years it felt like. So I think that's probably a lot of the cost you're talking about. It's hard to say with government spending, though. It's all a bunch of bullshit. It's all a bunch of horseshit.

This is the one I was talking about where he didn't move the clouds or anything. Yeah, that looks to me like clearly. I mean, that's obviously photosque. The birds are in the same. place. Like, like,

yeah. But we should, like, we, we, we, we, we,

we, presentable. Why? There's better things to spend the money on. You know there are. There's so many ugly things in America

that should be fixed before this pool you're not allowed to get into in our capital where we don't go, where only the only people who get, the people who live there are, are like fucking whip masters. Like, fuck those people.

That's why I don't care when they, when they went into the capital, and they started like roughing things up. I was like, who fucking cares? Do you think that's your capital? Do you think that's my capital? No, that's the pedophile league's capital. That's their building.

That's the Pelosi's of the world. Pelosi somehow comes out looking like a good person. If Pelosi was in your local government, you would think of her as the wicked witch of the West. They're all so corrupt and rotten to the core. And nobody is Mr. Smith going to Washington anymore, except for John Federman, and then he got retarded by that worm or whatever happened to him.

I think didn't he didn't. Oh, no way. Stroke. I thought he fell or something. The worm is an RFK. Yeah. It's hard to tell what brain qualities are affecting the administration. You can tell when the real important meetings are because he pops on a suit.

When BB Netanyahu comes to town, fucking tighten up, brother. Mitch McConnell has lost it. And like, he was doing something recently, and it was a little longer than he expected. And the amount of confusion that overwhelmed this man, he is the current Feinstein of the Senate. He's been out of four of them at least. Like he's been able to three years, but he's particularly mentally disabled right now. And this is a both sides thing. Yeah.

Who's the conservative that's got the turtle face? Mitch McConnell. Oh, my bad. I thought he was a conservative. He is, right? He's the guy who is standing at the podium. This is like two, three years ago at this point. He went to a huge moment. Yeah, he had like a Walter White moment where he just had a senior.

It feels like that state is more and more permanent. He's Feinstein at this point. And I like to bring her up because I'm trying, I mean, I am biased, but she's from the blue side. And so it's a both sides thing. These people stay in office too long. It's awful. These people are 90. Like there's some, which to his credit, the clips I've seen of him, he doesn't seem to be going senile or anything.

But Chuck Grassley is like 95 years old. Like at some point, you shouldn't be making decisions for people who are going to actually have to live with it. Like have a cap. That's crazy. Yeah. It's almost like women being able to vote, but not being in selective service. What a travesty. What a travesty.

I remember, yeah, they've, you know, When you turn 18, you get that letter right away. Yeah, you do. You're not anymore. And sign up. They automated it. Yeah, now you're automatically enrolled. You don't have to, like, do the letter that probably...

Are the women automatically enrolled? Of course not. No. No. Weird. You mentioned breaking bad. Yes. Yes.

If they get to vote, they get selected. And they don't have to go to the front lines, but they're going over there. They're going over there. We need cooks and... But you're kind of... I mean, in a world, where it is like it is. I don't want taxation without representation either. They should be able to vote if they pay taxes. Not if they're not subject to all of the sense. There are a different class of

citizen if they're not subject to a mandatory selective service sign up. They're literally a different class. I'm not saying it's a lower class or a higher class, but I tell you what, if I had my druthers, if I could just flip a switch and be part of any class, it would be the class that doesn't have to go be signed up for selective service. So that feels like a higher class than me. Lots of people can vote who don't pay taxes. Yeah, it's rich people's kids, senators' kids, and women.

Those are the people who are not subject to this. The rest of us. I don't want women in selective service until they figure out the physical requirements for the job. They don't do it the way that King Woody would do it. For me, like a cook needs to be like this fit, needs to do this many pull-ups, etc.

And infantrymen, much higher requirements. A fighter pilot, some other set of requirements. I don't know what they are exactly. Navy SEAL, even higher still. But and then once we have that, we can get women and they can fill the job roles that they'd be good at. They wouldn't be particularly, most of them wouldn't be particularly good as an infantryman, right? Just carrying heavy shit across the desert. That's guy stuff.

Yeah. We should have push-up requirements to vote. Now, now we're cooking. That's the silly. idea. Yeah, but what if they make it 150, Taylor? All at once?

Without stop, without pause. No, no, like, letting your, letting the last gas and train without pause. Oh, no, no. Oh, I thought I saw you're not.

No, I was nodding saying like, yeah, we would have like a retardedly qualified jacked electorate. Pretty cool. I can do, if I trained for it beforehand if I knew that test was coming up and there was no nothing else going on that day like if it wasn't there's nothing else going on serious like in the military i think i don't think they're like

all right today's push-up day you'll have a week to recover before sit-up day i think we're knocking all this out the same day so as long as the day is just push-up day so we can vote i could train up to 150 in a couple months i feel like oh you think my number's way low with testosterone you'd get there too Like, if you go on testosterone and you train, if the three of us all went on the same dose and we train side by side for six weeks, two months, we'd get to 150, like, no sweat. Because my experience with pushups is this. I know it's not the teeth up. But like, I can get to 25. Kind of good. Like, I'm still fresh. But somehow, 30 is twice as much. And then, like, 35 becomes a whole. another thing where I'm starting to cheat and shake and stuff like that.

So 150 feels impossibly far away. I remember I remember like I would try to, I was looking for something to do between sets because I wanted something. And if it was leg day, there was a time when instead of walking around because I was doing push-ups

and I felt I was like, they're so easy. I feel like I need to pull on the negatives. Like, like I'm telling you, I'm telling you, whenever you start your testosterone dose, Woody, I'm psyched for it. You are going to be an ape of a man. You're going to look like a shaved fucking gorilla, all right? Your calves are going to explode off the bone.

Is that what he wants to look like? You're going to be doing 600-pound heel raises. You're going to leave that shaved chimp, like squatting with the big nuts. Jackie's going to be in a neck brace, unrelated. I lost I trained at thought. But yeah, somehow push-ups just get like exponentially harder in my experience. I think with drugs, though, like we could absolutely all get to 150. If that was our focus in life, you know, every day is a part.

We're doing training. We're doing strength. We're doing this. You're training for what you're doing. So you just do push-ups all day and big sets and stuff. Yeah. So I started a while ago cutting weight really for the Mr. Beast thing. And I kept going.

But it didn't feel like it was really, really working. And there was like 10 days in there where I couldn't eat clean. And today I was brushing my teeth. And I caught myself in the mirror. And I was like, abs. Hey, you. So then I like hit a flex because I can flex my abs. Like I'm kind of good at it.

And I was like, fuck. I think this might be the best I've looked over here. 50. Like I've got some Facebook pictures I'm kind of proud of, but I'm like 48 or 49 in those. I might be peak post 50 today. Good for you, man. I want you to get on the sauce so bad, man. You didn't want to mess with the needles if you think those are unseemly. They do do a cream you rub on your gooch. But my concern has always been that my girl would like lick up some testosterone cream off my gooch and then start growing a mustache like Taylor. And I wouldn't care for that. So what if I masturbated with this cream and then got

Jackie on the sauce too. Ooh, now you're both jacked. I know you like this high tea women, but this makes it too high. She starts sounding like China, the wrestler. Jackie off with testosterone lotion is so funny. Just just like

I bet it's more expensive than Jorgans. It'll be bigger than my dick. Yeah, that'd be sick. I would much prefer. for that cream to, I wouldn't do anything shot related. I know I would like have a kit sitting there and I'd be like, no, I'm not, I don't want to do

that. I don't want to inject myself. For me, part of motivation has always been like the ritual of like getting in shape, if you will, like the socks that I put on with the athletic shoes or the weightlifting shoes, the, the fucking pre-workout shakes or when I was a teenager, I would go, I went to GNC. and spent all the money I had in the world, which was like $180 on just shit. All sorts of fucking pills and elixirs and nonsense.

And of course I had a thing of creatine, which was $80 for like two pounds or something back then. Yeah, Celtec. Remember Celtec? Creatine's borderline free. It's borderline free. But Celtec mixed it with sugar and flavors and made the volume twice as much

and sold it to you for like $80 a jug. And I was fucking great. But I had my protein and my, in my cell tech, but I also had, and they'd make you load it. They tell you to load it so you waste a ton of it. You don't need to load it. I never bought into that. No.

It helps, but, but a small amount. Just wait. If you're going to be a consistent, like, lifter, then a couple weeks of suboptimal, um, creatine absorption isn't going to change anything at all. But like, that stuff would always get me, I, I would want to skip a workout and be like, you spend $180 on this. you're broke now. You barely have gas money

because you spent everything on this stuff and you've already taken your dose today so you've got to go lift. And it would work. When there's a syringe and a little, and a couple vials and literal double hand fills of like supplements and pills,

it's magnified that by 10. Like I highly recommend the injections. That's the way to go. It doesn't hurt. You feel cool. You feel like fucking, I even drag. drag off from fucking Rocky like when he's in that super secret Soviet science lab.

Can I do it in my arm and pretend I'm doing heroin? No, don't do it intravenously. Don't don't shoot tea up your vein. No, you hear me. Am I going to get jacked too quick? He could do it in his forearm. Just pretend he's doing heroin. It's a muscle.

It would hurt. That's sensitive there. It doesn't hurt at all. You know, he uses insulin pens, put it in your doubt. That's a quick 180. that's such a sensitive area there doesn't hurt at all you'll love it there's like not a lot of fat and muscle

right here in your forearm there's like what if I get so jacked the forearm part yeah I have to start putting it in between my fingers because I'm so jacked I've burned out all my you do you do move it around

like Greg do said I think was like I just put it in my pack and I'm like I'm not sticking this needle in my peck you monster he does he does it once a week I think I would just want cream. Just give me the cream. We said it in a video.

Oh, okay. Except then you'd be like walking around like with like mud butt all that. Like you're feeling like squish, squish, like for a while until it's worth. I don't know what the creams like. They also do, I think a sub-dermal time released like capsule that they can put like in it. I think they put it down there somewhere too. But injections are the way to go. That's just so unpleasant.

I just don't want to do that. It's really not. It doesn't hurt at all. And like I said, I think it's fucking cool. You get those needles out. You feel like you're doing some serious shit. He's a breeder, Kyle. He's not interested in this.

Well, after that, after he breathes to his heart's content, you know, when, and I'm more talking to you. You're 50. Like, it's, you know, and you like to be fit. You talk about your six-pack. You're in such good shape now. You would just explode. You'd look, you'd just explode.

You'd look a professional athlete. I don't know. And then there's the cancer scare. I don't think this. I would want to look at like correlation between testosterone use and like exacerbating cancers potentially. I don't know about that. That might actually be a concern. I could see that.

Taylor mentioned breaking bad a minute ago. It reminded me. I finally got my dad on like the good legacy TV shows. He's watching Ozark. He called me on my birthday and he was like, Kyle, you ever watch this show? it's about this fella Marty Bird. And I'm like, Ozark?

He's like, that's the one. Kyle, we have been, him and his girlfriend, we have been watching this thing for four weeks now, and we are on the final season. And I'm like, that lady just got her brains blown out, huh?

He's like, how'd you know? I've seen it before, dad. Everyone in the world has seen it. This is Ozark. I told you it was a good show. He's like, it's a, hey, we can only watch an episode or two, and it gets too much.

It gets too violent. It's too. but he loves it. And I'm like, after this, Game of Thrones. He's like, is that, is that any good? I'm like, yeah. Yeah. It was a cultural phenomenon, dad. Like everyone but you has seen this shit. It's so good. Has he seen Breaking Bad? He has seen a couple episodes of it. And he said that Walter White was too much of a pussy. And I was like, well, early on he kind of is. But he, like, it's the show's called Breaking Bad for a reason. He breaks bad. And by the end, he's a like, must stachioed black hat wearing killer himself. And he's like, oh, all right.

Well, we'll get him. I get back into that too. So I'm psyched because now, like, he's actually watching good TV. It was only like a year or two ago when he couldn't get any internet. And he's watching like gun smoke reruns. He's watching something from 1959, a bunch of black and white cowboys or something. And now I've got him on some good TV. I did this with my wife like four years ago or something.

I was like, honey, I'm taking the remote. And, you know, we're watching it. I rewatch Game of Thrones with her. We saw Breaking Bad. We saw Ozark. That was another one. I don't know what else was on the list. The new Game of Thrones, whatever, the House of the Dragon. The Dragon. We watched the boys, but she's off the boys bandwagon.

I'm doing the last season myself. She doesn't like the gore. My girlfriend likes it. We watch almost everything together. I went to bed last night and I was like, stayed up and I watched Lord of the Flies. And she's like, the show, we were going to, watched together. I'm like, we watch every show together. This one's mine. This one's mine.

You can go back and watch the... Yeah. Where's that? I don't know this one. On Netflix. I talked about it earlier. Remember the Lord of the Flies TV show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't, I thought we were talking about a movie that was, so this TV show that's out now and it's good. Yeah, so there's, it's all out. There's four one hour episodes. So it's not too short, not too long. I felt like, like they definitely didn't inflate it with a bunch of BS. It's really interesting. So they use a lot of camera techniques and like lenses. There's this fish eye lens they use sometimes.

Sometimes they apply an infrared effect that makes the jungle look red instead of green. And I think it's sort of symbolically about the boy's bloodlust or something like that or when things are going more violent than others. There's a lot of like narrow fields of view. Like a lot of like write in on somebody's face. It's in focus and everything else is blurred out. out. It's good. Did you watch all four?

Yeah. I watched four hours of it last night. Okay. It's a BBC production. I'm real sensitive to bad child actors. Like they'll throw me right out of something. All these kids are great. Like even the Littlands, as they're called, they're like eight or something.

They're barely verbal because they're so scared. They're good. They put on good performances. And the main boys, Jack and Piggy and Ralph, they're all very good. And you can, it's a little scary because it's like, there's no adult supervision here. That's the whole premise of the thing.

I get it. But still, every now and then you're like, there's no, there's no authority figure to go to on this one. I wish everybody would shut up and listen to Piggy. He's the only one who seems to know what's going on here. He's like, look guys, we need shelter, fire, food, and toilets. And they're like, toilets. He's like, yeah, we can't poop where we drink. very important. We got a poop in the tidal pool. It washes it away. Some of you aren't even

bothering to leave the shelter. And there's everybody's laughing. You can't get everybody like together because there's boys and there's, it's been a week or two and they're just everybody's so rowdy. And then there's like that standards. The Jack kid is basically Draco Malfoy. He's this blonde coward at heart, cruel kid who you just despise the whole way through. And, And he's just a real problem. It's a sign of a good actor, though. Yeah. Yeah, he does a pretty good job because you can both like, like I said,

he's a coward at heart and they show that. But he's just, he's the meanest of all the characters. That was, um, shit, who's Jack Gleason? Who played, um, King Joffrey? Something like that. I know it's not Jackie Gleason, but it's something similar to that. It might be Jack Gleason. It wasn't until his character was done with that I started to appreciate like, oh, you know what?

that was actually just a really good actor, not a dick. I didn't separate the two. His face, like the way he would scowl and the way he would be his ignorance at times. And he was so pompous and just and then just out of nowhere, the cruelty. He was tremendous at being able. Something about the cruelty coupled with the cowardness bugged me extra. Like if you think about Beauty and the Beast, Gasson, right? Gasson.

Gaston. Okay. Gaston is a dick. but he's kind of earned that he is the strongest, most good looking, most talented, whatever, whatever.

And if he treats people like Homelander does, at least one percent of you is like, well, he is better than these other guys. And when they went on to battle the beast, he led the charge, right? So this guy sort of earned his right to be cruel to people in a way that

King Joffrey did not. Yeah. Gaston is brave and accomplished and pompous and self-centered and narcissistic. You can almost forgive a little bit of that. His girlfriend was kidnapped by a monster. But you look at Joffrey and you're just like, God, not only are you awful, you're pathetic too.

And then Ramsey, and you wouldn't have thought it, but they came back. I hate Ramsey more than Joffrey because Joffrey is a sociopath. He's, Joffrey's almost like learning how to be cruel, whereas Ramsey is a practiced hand at it. He's good at it. And he likes being good at it. And he likes getting better at being cruel. And whereas Joffrey was just sort of, I don't know, just mean. He wasn't necessarily.

He was like an unplanned dick cruel person, whereas Ramsey took cruelty and made it a craft that he refined and practiced. I get it. I'm hoping I get dad on the Game of Thrones bandwagon because I know that like week to week what that show was like the first time. That's one of those. I wish I could erase my memory and go back and do that. If that's ever a service that's offered, that a memory erasure, but get a TV show for $999.

I would pay a lot of money to forget Game of Thrones. I'd pay $5,000 to forget Game of Thrones, I think. Wow, that's a, I don't think I would. I don't know if I'd pay $5,000 to watch it again, but I'll tell you it's better on rewatch. Did you rewatch it yet? So I used to rewatch every year. So that meant that I've seen season one like seven times.

And I've seen season six like three times or two times or something like that, whatever it is. And so like I know the later seasons less and less. I never rewatched the final season because I was so upset about that. But I've seen like a, I've seen the early parts and the middle parts many times. I've said it here before, but quickly it's better on rewatch. It's better on binge. When you had to wait a year and a half of the next. season and then there's only six episodes and you want all of them to be absolute bangers because

you have so much invested in all this waiting but when you're just binge watching an old show it's okay that one of the six isn't a total banger it's fine watch the next one yeah i agree completely yeah yeah i just well you know i'm not going to harp on that again i just i just can't do it again and i'm like forever mad at like not the actors because i see them as victims in all of this you know, but the creators, like, I'm mad at D&D, whatever those guys named, David and Benioff and whatever their names are. I root against them. Not David Covney, I love him. Just making shit out.

But aren't their careers kind of shot now? I don't, they made the three body problem. That was the last thing that I know that they created. So I'm sure that was a decent payday. It's no game of Thrones. for them. No Game of Thrones. No. In your little world of entertainment, there's the search for Gollum is coming out at some point. Is that the same? Or maybe you, I know you don't keep your finger on the pulse of it. Is that what Stephen Colbert wrote? He wrote that, right? I think he

helped write it. And Andy Circus is a big part of it. But we'll, we'll see. They really shit the bed with rings of power. And so hopefully they some lessons from that and make it good. I'm really hopeful for it because not only is like I trust Colbert, I know he's a massive like game, Lord of the Rings nerd and he's super into the lore. And whenever he's had actors of the show on, like he dives deep.

It's all deep cuts about lore and stuff like that. And he's really respectful of it. So I like that he's writing it. I like the Andy Circus is coming back, of course. He's directing. Oh, good. And Peter Jackson is producing. so he's not going to be

Gallum in this he is going to be Gallum oh I hope he's still good at because he was Gollum what 15 20 years ago I saw him on talk to him not that long ago he slips right into it to the point where you're like oh my God I think he was reading Trump tweets as

Ghalm that's what it was but I'm worried that he can't crawl and move in the same way which to me was a big part of what made the character successful how old is it let's see I don't think he's well I mean he's 25 years old than he was when he did it in Lord of the Rings. Yeah.

How old is he? Oh, a spry, 62. A spry 62, you know? I'm concerned. I might have a lot more upright Gallum this time. Yeah. He crawled like an iguana, you know, like it was really kind of neat. And I don't know if it still has that.

Yeah. We'll see. Because the special features is Achilles thing. I saw a thing on Reddit. Hold on up. Because I'm out of this. the loop on this. So I think on Reddit and they showed Brad Pitt and then they showed the new actor and

they're like, it used to be great and now it's terrible. And I was like, I never heard of this new actor, but I don't know what the, like why they're so upset. And then I saw a WhatsApp conversation in the PKK thing. The new Achilles is someone who was born female and is trans male now?

It's a little more complicated than that. I said the link there to that funny bit. You may have already seen it. It's, they take, I have seen it. Bagrius scene from Troy and they put Elliot Page in the armor instead. So Elliot Page used to be Ellen Page.

You might remember her from a second movie. Yeah. Who's the new Achilles? Okay. Sort of. From June. Yeah. So I don't know who plays Achilles in the movie when he's alive.

But this movie definitely has scenes from the Odyssey, I think, where Achilles has already died and Odysseus goes to the underworld, I believe, and he speaks to Achilles. And in the story, it's described that Achilles has lost his golden luster and his warrior

aura. He is diminished and weakened. He is a, what's the, what's the, specter? Is that the word of you? Shade. Which is essentially like a Greek ghost or whatever. He is a almost translucent weakened version of his former

self. In that regard, it kind of makes sense to cast the Elliot Page. Because I can't think of a Right, you wouldn't cast the rock to be that version of Achilles. Yeah, you do. Imagine if, you know, let's just pick someone. Brad Pitt had aged 25 years and is no longer the shape he was in Troy. That's not how he described. And you just got him. They don't describe him as aged and wizened. They describe

him as like an incredibly diminished version of himself. He's been physically and spiritually decimated and he's sad and depressed in the underworld. So I kind of like bought over to Chis's side. Are you serious? Hang on that I don't mind as much that Elliot Page is playing the shade ghost version of him. However, here's what I would have done. I would remember when Matt Damon was in the Martian and toward the end of his Mars stay, they CGI him and make him look incredibly emaciated. He takes that shower before he leaves at the end, and he's got sores on his body, and he's shaving off three years of beard and, and, like, greasy hair, and he's, he's just incredibly

emaciated. He looks like a Holocaust victim. That's what you should have done to whoever is actually playing Achilles. I don't know why you just completely recast, not recast, but, like, hire a different actor to play this diminished version of him. but it bothers me way less than the other casting choices. Travis Scott is in this movie for some reason. He's the rapper who like,

remember that person died in the crowd? And he's like, I want to feel the motherfucking brown shake. And it's like they're carting off a dead person. He's in the movie for some reason. And then like Helen of Troy and her sister, whose Greek name I can't pronounce off the top of my head, Plontopoulos or whatever,

are both played by the same African actress. She's got one of those like tribal-shaped African heads. She's got a name. I also can't, it's got a lot of syllables. Yeah. It's going to fail tremendously and it'll deserve every bit of it. That's absurd to cast Helen of Troy as a black lady. Who's the queen of the gods with the Greeks?

Is it Hera? Hera is, Hera was Zeus's husband or wife. But then there's also like the other ones, like Aphrodite, Athena. Athena. That's the one I. think. I'm pretty sure Zendaya is playing Athena. So you've got another like person of color playing

a Greek. Yeah, the movie's not going to do well. It deserves it. The idea that you hire Elliot or Ellen Page to be Achilles who was like famously a broad shoulder giant warrior that's bananas. But you're not hitting it back on the ghost part, right? If it's supposed to be a diminished like shadow of him

former self. I like the CGI idea the best because imagine me watching the show trying to fucking realize they changed actors on like stop it. You're just bullying me at this point. It is me. Achilles from before. If you read

the Odyssey, at no point are they like oh, the diminished form of Achilles is now a five foot one like trans woman. Like it's still Achilles. That's how Odysseus recognized him.

He's just a man. But regardless, like, it's just a slap in the face to the whole story from Homer. It's ridiculous. I'm blown away. I was so shocked when Chis was, like, carrying water for that. I was like, are you serious? Like, because he was saying, like, that's crazy to have Helen of Troy. All of us were on the same page of like, yeah, Helen of Troy being, she's very specifically described.

and she's a Greek lady. She's a blonde, fair-skinned Greek lady, which is an anomaly in its own right, because by my scale, the Greeks are not. But they don't make the cut for you. Did you say that was Zendaya's role? No, that was Zendaya.

Show us the girl who's playing Helen of Troy. Yes. Please. Show us a photo of her. What's the movie called? The Odyssey. The Odyssey. And so one of the longest,

you know, most storied epics of Western civilization, and they're just like almost so overtly it's almost it's to the point of mockery most of the castes white to you got mad damon you've got um who's india's husband like a tom holland um you got robert patinson as well like like those three are all and so much what is tom holland played do you know he's one of um odysius's like boys i can't like pontoncleus or some shit i can't think of which one there's helena troy the the face that launched a thousand ships Yeah, and also the Elliott Page thing is so ridiculous, so absurd.

Like in the whole, I see the ghost thing as complete cope where it's like actually, you know, Achilles was diminished in his shade form. And it's like, yeah, true. But he was still Achilles. Like he was still a warrior. He was just diminished because he was now dead. like the that's just so over the top ridiculous that it's going to get hate and the kind of Hollywood media will do what they always do where they try and preempt it and go racist trolls are hating on this bastardization of the you know the oldest epic in western civilization because they're mean I already saw them writing an article where they're like Elon Musk and his team of trolls it's like really do you think they'd be going after this if it's it was casted correctly. No, it's just like woke or shit

that nobody likes. I think it's cast correctly. Casted, cast correctly? Casted, maybe. When you throw that rod and reel out there. Yeah, I think so. But yeah, I think this is absurd. I'm not going to watch it. Most people won't.

Oh, I don't know. It's a critical movie. I would guess in the holiday season of this year. I genuinely don't know. But it's a Christopher Nolan movie. It's going to be a massive movie. I'm with you.

I'm not going to watch it because I feel like those inaccuracies are like thumb in the eye or something to me. Like as me. It's a fuck you. And look, if you want to watch a good version of this story, Troy is great. Troy Brad Pitt is in the best physique of his entire career. It's the most optimal Brad Pitt. And that you saw that if those of you who weren't watching, like Zach flashed a photo of the chick who plays Helen of Troy

in that movie. I don't know her name. She gets topless in the movie. She's bonkers attractive. And you got Eric Banna playing who's the prince of Troy. Hector. Hector. They have a great fight. Hector and Achilles. And before the fight Hector is like, let us

say now that after this fight the loser will be given all rights and honors as are observed by the gods of men. And Achilles is like, you'll have no eyes tonight. You'll have no tongue to speak and no eyes to see. You'll have no ears to hear. I will drag you before the dogs behind my chariot. And it's like, fuck. Did they eventually give Hector's body back? I have in my memory that

they bring. Yeah. So after after he does do exactly what he said and disfigures the body and drags it around behind his chariot, he kind of feels bummed out about it afterwards. It didn't like bring his friend back to life. And so he takes Hector's body back and he's kind of mournful about the whole thing, at least in Troy. I haven't read the fucking I'll get the fucking I Odyssey since high school. You know what would be some good casting is John Federman should be the Cyclops. He could be a polyphenon. Is that his name? No one has blinded me. No one has blinded me. I don't know if they're going to get into the. I know the movie's called The Odyssey, but all of the stuff that I've seen has been more focused on the

Ilya, the stuff that happens at Troy, the Odyssey is my favorite part. That's better to me. I like Odysseus. Achilles is like Superman. Like if we're comparing it to modern day shit, Achilles is Superman. Odysseus, Odysseus is Batman. Odysius is fucking a regular guy. And he has to use his mind and his wit. I mean, he's a good warrior. He's the king of Ithaca, but he's got to be crafty every step of the way to get back home. And he travels for 20 years I think, and the saddest, it always makes me cry. When he gets back home to Ithaca, he's in disguise at first, because he has all these suitors trying to take over.

The king's been gone for 20 years. All these men from the neighboring provinces and kingdoms want to marry his wife and take his kingdom. And she's done this silly Rapunzel shit where she's like, when I finish sewing my morning shroud, then I will marry, and every day, every day, she's sewing the trout. And at night she undoes it. I'd have caught on to that on,

week two, but nobody in Ithaca could have just needed an enormous blanket. So Odysseus gets home and he's finally literally at his home. He's on the island of Ithaca but now he's approaching his household and there's his dog. His dog is like 24 or some shit and the dog

has been waiting on its master loyally outside the door for 20 fucking years and it looks up at Odysseus and wags its tail and Odysseus can't pet it because he doesn't want to give himself away and the dog dies right there. Now in the movie version and the TV versions,

he fucking scritches that little fucker and then dies happy. And I'm like, that's an easy rewrite. All right. Fuck Homer for writing that sad ass shit. It's better this way. Give that good boy a scitch. All right? It's like that futurama scene when the dog,

they show like the dog waiting forever. That's a rough episode. Now tear you up, right? That's taken right from the fucking Odyssey. and then fucking he gets in there and he sees how these men have been slapping his son around and raping his fucking servants

and running his kingdom into the ground they're not let they're eating all the suckling pigs there's no new generation because they're just throwing it they're not planning for a future for Ithaca they're ringing it dry and he finally has that moment where they they shut the doors to the room

with all these suitors and it's just fucking Odysseus up there with his bow and he just starts shooting and by like the fifth dead man people start bargaining so sir big mistake here if you would just listen to me

and he's just no mercy kills every single fucking one of them his son gets to kill the one they've been bullying him runs a spear through him sticks him into the wall it's great the guy's banging on the door please let us out

spear through his back I like to imagine his disguise was on the same tier of you know when Heath Ledger is dressed as a nurse but still in all the makeup and then he takes off the mask and suddenly Harvey Dent's like, it's you! It's like clearly the joke is pulling on a lot of medicine.

I figure that. Like I wish they put that line in there. Like he's real doped up in that moment. So that's why he doesn't notice. Which movie did you just describe? That wasn't Troy. That was the Odyssey. Yeah, the story of the Odyssey.

There's two different versions of it. But it's not a movie. You're talking about the book? There's a movie and there's a mini series and obviously there's Homer's epic tale that was written a thousand years ago or whatever. I don't think I've seen.

It's okay. It's pretty good. And of course, they get tired of the morning shroud or whatever she's sewing. And so she's like, all right, we're going to decide today who I'm marrying. You have to string the bow of Odysseus. This is a bow that's made out of

like ram horns. It hasn't been strung in 20 years. It's stiff as hell. You have to string the mighty bow of Odysseus, you bend it over your leg, you hook the string in there, and then you have to fire an arrow through nine axe heads. And there's a little loop on the handle of

an axe head, and all the axes have been hammered into the wood of the table so that the holes line up. And all the men are like, that's fucking bullshit. There's no way. But they starts trying to string the bow. Nobody can even get close with the bow. They throw

the bow on the ground, and the old beggar. And the is may I take a try madam and they all laugh at the beggars I think somebody throws a drink on him or something like that and she's like any man here may try to string the bow of Odysseus this is my command she kind of knows

she's kind of seen this guy looks he's got a scar that this is flourishing he could have just been I'm Odysseus and he takes that bow he flexes it a couple times he bends it over his knee and he just goes hook.

Like it's not even, just one motion. There's no second try, third try, just hook. And they all go, oh shit. Put that bow down, beggar. You put that boat, don't you fire that arrow. He goes through all the fucking holes and sticks in the wall. And then they all look back at him

and he's transformed. His disguise that was given to him by Athena dissolves and he is Odysseus before them. And he doesn't waste any time. he looks at his son and says now and the son fucking kills the first piece of shit with a spear and he just starts letting arrows loose just one after

another and they're begging and screaming and crawling in blood and like I said no mercy is shown everybody vibe in that this is going to be one of those situations where Kyle's telling of it is better than the movie because I'm digging the telling it's good

you got to read every Star Trek episode he describes is better than Star Trek And I've read the book when it was high school, but that'll probably be last time. A long time ago. The Iliad was the one I liked more. There's more violence, more fighting in it. But the Odyssey, I guess, was great in its own way.

But disappointing how they're handling the property, the movie. I wonder if Homer's family is upset. The same way Jared Tolkien's family's upset as if they still have people. The name of the movie is called The Return. It came out like, let's see. you'll know some of the actors it's a decent movie it's not a five-star gym or anything it's 78% on rotten tomatoes

came out 2020 24 oh it's new than I expected yeah I watched it a few months back and I love the story anyway so it was an easy win for me I liked it I liked that revenge at the end the mini series the revenge might even be better like that I watched the whole movie of him getting kicked around and treated poorly and seeing that his island has gone to shit just for that scene at the end

where he kills everybody and he's got a great speech he's like in the bedroom with his wife and he's like they tried to take what I built with these hands and he's like having this meltdown about about all this stuff it's great real good movie I just love the story I like the although like it's definitely written

for an ancient audience if you break it down the reason it took him 20 years is because he did a lot of whoring on the way back like every night he would get distracted with an adventure that involved just fucking some like witch or something for like eight years or something like for real i don't remember the ins and outs of it he obviously has that little run in with the cyclops and he has to fool him no one has blinded me that's pretty low till tier trickery but for the modern audience but i guess it worked back then but then he like comes to this other island where i think they turn all of his men into animals or something and he's seduced by some like goddess or something like that. I think they're killing the pigs that used to be his men and eating them even. It's a whole shit show. But he's definitely

in like a fuck fest with some other chick for like years when his wife is waiting at home. It was that witch where she turned his men into pigs and then he was like, well, she's a cutie. Let's not get out of here too quick. She was a cutie. Yeah. It's a little more

sophisticated than that, but it was I think the story ages incredibly well because it's really like the hero's like the boys will be boys of course but it's like the hero's journey with you know foibles and faults and

problems of you know there's a part reason it took him so long to get back was because I think the first problem was where he goes and gets captured by polyphemus the cyclops yeah takes him and his men into the cave rolls that

that giant boulder the polyphemus does into the entrance of the cave and he's a giant cyclops so none of them can move it and then odysseus has this idea of like honor and and these sorts of things and then the monster just plucks up a couple of his guys munches them eats them like just eats them and so then he gifts the cyclops wine cyclops has never had that before it passes out drunk they heat up the steak and stab it into the sleeping Cyclops's eye blinds him. And then the Cyclops opens his cave the next day, lets his sheep out blind now. They all hide on the bottom of the sheep, you know, so that as he was feeling the tops of them to make sure that no one was escaping, that, you know, the men didn't get out.

And he would have, he would have just went straight home, except he yelled back from his ship as he was leaving, like, it is not nobody that blinded you. It's me, Odysseus. And then Pollyphemus is like, cries out to his father, Poseidon. The god of the sea. The god of the sea. And was like, fuck this guy up. He blinded me. One of your kind of bastard, you know, hit on an island's children, but one nonetheless.

And, you know, fuck this guy out and make it so he never reaches home. Curse him to never reach home. And so that's, you know, if he hadn't, if Odysseus hadn't been prideful in that last minute, he wouldn't go home. So you're right about all that. But then after that, he's clearly in a spot. God of the sea is against him and he's trying to sail home. So he calls in a favor. Zeus hits up his boy Aolis, who is the god of the wind and says, yo, give me the wind real quick. Throw it in this satchel. Got the wind in the satchel. Odysseus, hang on to this. These are the westerly winds that

were going to hold you back from home. Now you can sell straight on. It's fucking sweet. Thank you for the winds of the west in this little satchel. And all of his men don't see this interaction, because he's talking to a god or whatever. they just see that Odysseus has a satchel that he won't let anybody fucking touch, won't let them see it. Odysseus has got gold and treasure that he's not sharing with us. And finally, like, they get within sight of Ithaca. And Odysseus is like tuckered out from a night of sailing or whatever.

One of his boys grabs the satchel and he's like, fucking hoard your gold, not cut your men in. And he's holding like a wind machine with all the powers of the Western wind. and it blows them back to where they started from. It blows them like a year away or some shit. It's in like wrecks the ship. Then they have to like sail through the straits of doom or something like that. It's a great tale.

It is a great tale. It's a reason it survived for what, 3,000 years almost. It'll be dead in fall 2026, it looks like. It's going to go ahead and... I told you, I'd be okay with this if the sword cut both ways. Give me the Harriet Tubman story starring Shane Gillis. All right. No makeup.

I don't want that either. No makeup. Just Shane Gillis. Come on, child. We're going to run you back. Freedom Road. He's in blackface. No makeup at all.

No makeup at all. He's a white man. There's no reason to put him in makeup. Do you think they're going to put white face on that Helen of Troy actress? Of course not. That would incredibly racist. It would be jarring. It would be jarring.

So you just have Shane Gillis play Mother Moses. And, and, like, you have, like, some white man talking down to Shane Gillis. Get out here, you ninja woman. What you doing out here in polite society? Oh, sorry, sir, sorry, sir. It'd be great. I'd love to see Shane Gillis, like, flexes acting wings. This is a funny idea.

That is a funny idea. Yeah. That would take me out of that story, too. I want to do, like, the bunker of, like, Hitler. Black guy. Denzel Washington playing Hitler. the whole time he's just raining about the the vermin race and everything morgan freeman as hitler he put that little mustache on it yeah i wouldn't like that i wouldn't like

how about a shock a zulu movie i wouldn't want fucking martin to shirsch as hitler judd hirsch i don't know what he looks like he's the jewish guy from independence day oh oh that's actually what he's not these jews they tell me they're not a problem there serious problem. I'd be okay with that too. Yeah. Like, why not? Let's mix it up.

Race doesn't matter, right? Like, anybody can play anybody. You'd be dead if it wasn't for my friend Heinrich. Exactly. Yeah, that guy was such a caricature. It's amazing that that was even like okay in 1994 when Independence Day came out. Like, it's offensive to me and I'm not a Jew. I would offend me if I were a Jew.

I really feel like it would. he's a caricature. Yeah, he's kind of what did they call it when people did the big red lips and the blackface? There was like a term for it. Oh.

Maybe that's what I'm going. I thought it was just called blackface. It's blackface, but it's a different kind of black face. It's the specific one with the... Maybe I'm gone for minstrel show. Yeah, it was like a minstrel show, but of the Jewish person. Yeah. Yeah, basically.

I mean, that whole movie is, you know, Will Smith is like, do not shoot that green shit in me. Like, dude, you're an Air Force pilot. Shouldn't you be keeping comms clear? What are you doing? I have more effective comms and marathon. If I watched, I mean,

last time I saw that I was probably 12. Don't, don't rewatch. I bet it's not good. When I watched it in theaters, it was the greatest movie I'd ever seen. I remember being in the park and and being in the backseat of my mom and dad, mom and dad in the front, me and my sister in the back, and being like, that's the best thing I've ever seen.

That was amazing. I love that. That was so good. I loved that move. When it came out, I immediately bought it on VHS or whatever, watched it over and over and over. When he punches that alien and says, welcome to Earth and pops that alien in his fucking alien nose. And then the next scene you see, and he's dragging the alien in his parachute, dragging your stinky ass across the desert.

that he has to do it. Goes back, kicks him a little. It was more absurd now that you're bringing all this up because like it's Will Smith. I watched the, the Fresh Prince. I know what he sounds like. I like to imagine he was like, welcome to Earth.

And the director's like, well, hmm, can you, can you maybe? Black it up? Can you, can you say Earth for us? And he's like, Oh my God. I suppose. Coming off a little more Carlton than

Jazzy Jeff. And I'm going to be cool. I wonder if he's had any acting training yet. Because he didn't at first. On the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, he had never taking an acting lesson. And he's like, what do I do?

And the way he tells the story, he's like, they describe me as a blind man headed in the right direction. They're like, oh, just keep going with the way you're going. You're doing fine. And that was Fresh Prince of Bel Air. But he's done a lot since.

then has he formerly learned to act or is he just vibe it his whole life? There's acting coaches on set a lot of times if there's any kind of a like even that little thing I did like I worked with an acting coach for like I don't know hours and hours before we shot. He would come in like ah try to sit like this a little

more and like this and that and your inflection here and like going through it like over and over with the lines like coaching me up a little I'm sure because in his later stuff like that's we I can't ever remember seven pounds or eight pounds. pursuit of happiness

even that one movie where he's Dr. Neville and like the world has gone to shit he's the last man there's zombies and when he's in that bathtub hugging his German I am legend I am legend which is like the third iteration of that

of a story Charlton Heston does a good version of that too I love that movie it starts when that movie starts Charleston's like you know Charles has it's fucking cool back in the 60s anyway he's like yeah right where he's got his sunglasses on he's driving like a convertible mustang or something through

new york and you don't know anything's wrong and then suddenly he like turns it sideways pulls out an oozy and just goes and kills like a bunch of zombies and he's like all right another day in paradise this guy's cool and but like will smith like i felt for him in that movie there were some sad moments in that he's a good actor he really is when he wants to be and when he has the right material he did that movie where he plays venus and serena's dad Membership, built for busy business owners, because you've got bigger things to think about. With Staples Preferred, get free delivery. No minimums. Staples Preferred unlocks up to 3% back. Plus 10% savings on print and exclusive wireless offers.

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visit edc.ca to learn more I'm sorry I was going to say when he plays the right character but then I processed it and he has a lot more range than I just gave him credit for remember Ali did you see Ali? I didn't see it but I'm aware of the physical transformation yeah Ali is worth watching today not only did they tell a pretty accurate warts and all story of Muhammad Ali

and his rise to fame and all that stuff will Smith kills it with the accent and the physicality and they got his hair done right and they have John Voight playing Howard Cassell they famously had this back and forth you know and friendship

and just you watch the real version of the real Howard Cosell and the real Muhammad Ali and then you watch Will Smith and John Voight and you're like damn this is one of those instances of them just getting it just right I think he won an Academy Award for that maybe that movie won some

it wants some awards it's a good movie It's one of the better biopics. It's up there with stuff like Ray, you know, where Jamie Fox played Ray Charles so well. I'm trying to quickly see if it got any awards. Nominated for two Oscars, and it has 10 wins and 27 nominations total, but I don't know what they're for.

Yeah, I don't remember either. It's been 15 years or something, but real good Will Smith movie. Yeah. I don't know. I like Will Smith. The current version of the Chris Tucker, no. Chris Rock thing.

Chris Rock thing is not why I disliked it Will Smith. I think most people, that's their major complaint against him. I just feel like he got a little soft. He got a little, he took his eye off the prize. He can't seem to get in shape. For a Hollywood actor, you are a product, a product who needs to be able to find fitness to do your job. And he's not getting it. He's low to.

that's why his wife's running around with his son's friends. I will say I watched the new bad boys, and I like the bad boys movies anyway, but the latest bad boys movie came out last year. It was fun. They did some really interesting camera stuff. They have a camera rig sort of mounted to the gun that Will Smith is holding while he runs through the house,

and it's flicking around 180 degrees. So you go from looking right at Will Smith to like without cutting, going back around to seeing him. And it's kind of like, a first-person shooter game for a little while. It's a bad boys movie. It's machine gun shootouts and Martin Lawrence going, hell no.

If you like that, you'll like Bad Boys 4 or whatever it is. I liked it. I thought Martin Lawrence was dead. No. No. No? No, that's Bernie Mac. Bernie Mac's dead. Did Martin Lawrence not also have a sitcom?

No, you're thinking of Patrice. He did. It was called Martin. I'm the man. nothing like either of them Markham show was in the Seinfeld era and Bernie Mac's show was in like the Malcolm in the middle era. Bernie Mac's show was like late 90s, early 2000s,

and Martin was like early midnight. It was super popular. It was the Black Seinfeld. We watched it. Like I watched a lot of Martin growing up. We would like say the catch phrases. Like it's good. I'll never forget. There's one where like Martin was like cutting his toenails and one of them flies off and hits Gina in the head and they go like

POV on the toenail as it spins through the air and it hits her and like recoils her backwards and stuff like shit like that got me I love that I hated that show that his overacting was so overdone I couldn't stand it it was silly it was dumb to me I was a kid see it yeah I was was certainly older yeah I was probably 20 or something yeah Yeah, a different audience. A lot of stuff hits when you're six or seven that Neffield again. It's so funny if you watch the

I think it's the people versus OJ Simpson. I think it's the one with Cuba Gooding Jr. playing OJ. And the jury is having to decide what TV show to watch. And like half of them want to watch Seinfeld and the other half want to watch Martin. And the black chick goes,

what's a sign failed anyway? What is a Seinfeld? And it's like that was that moment. Jewish guy. But that moment sort of like boiled down the issue in the jury room that you had like this massive divide between the blacks and the whites on the jury. And I think they've admitted later on that like, yeah, he was guilty.

It was about the LA riots. It was about, um, who was the guy? Rodney King, uh, beating. It was about the injustice, uh, and the LAPD, um, and all that. Lucky OJ, right? Picked his time. But it wasn't like good enough to stay clean in the rest of his life. he had to get him.

They found a way to put him in jail for kidnapping. They entrapped him and, you know, like, you couldn't have picked a better guy to even trap. Nobody was sticking up for him except for his defense lawyer. But they totally entrapped him. You know, they're selling his memorabilia, like, illegally, like, or something like that. And he's going in there, like, nobody's going anywhere. Like, oh, you just kidnapped him, dude.

You can't say that. You can't say that. You just deprive them of the exit. You just kidnapped them. And they're like, yeah, but after you get away with it. This time, big boy. That's kidnapping, all right. After you get away with it the way OJ did,

you got to feel unstoppable. You commit a couple of murders, kidnapping a layup. Yeah. Not just famously committed to. It's one of the, I can't think of a trial that I know more about, that was more publicized,

that was more viewed, more watched. We all know the judge's name. Eto. Everybody knows the judge. You know Marsha Clark. You know, you know the whole cast and crew and their back stories

were the defense attorney Shapiro maybe and Shapiro Kardashian was one of them Oh who's the Jewish guy who defends Trump a lot Dershow Yeah okay Yeah he's been connected to a lot of seedy shit Well what are you gonna do

It was incredibly publicized and we all knew he did it Like the DNA evidence that the fucking He had her blood at his house and in his car and on his stuff. He had a cut on his hand. His blood is at the crime scene. Those gloves that supposedly didn't fit, there's a clip of him three years prior,

wearing them on Monday night football, holding the microphone right. It would be like if I, like this, it'd be like me, like, no, that's not my jacket. That's your jacket, all right? I see you wearing it. Like he's wearing them. America, just pretending those gloves were supposed to fit

over the latex gloves, was wearing. He was wearing a hospital latex gloves. Johnny's like spreading his fingers and doing everything he can to make the gloves not fit. It's like, oh, it's the best I can do. He's not a good actor. It was very clear he didn't want him fit.

And who was the black lawyer that he had? Johnny Cochran. Johnny Cochran told him, he's like, hey, we can be trying that glove on next week. Stop taking your arthritis medication. Cut that out. You don't need that. I didn't know that. This guy's an NFL player.

his hands are arthritic and beaten and bruised and full of scar tissue. You take his arthritis medication away for a week or two, and they swell up like balloons. He said, and the Bruno Mali shoes, I know the kind of shoes. There's $600. He's like, I'd never wear them ugly-ass shoes. There you are on tape wearing them. I got a tape of you wearing them, bitches. You fucking love.

Inundible. It became about stuff like Marsha Clark's a hand. type defense still going today yeah i mean i mean i was too young to know the fallout from the oj thing but it seems like does anyone sincerely think he didn't do it no not anymore back then you had like all the black people like we're celebrating in the streets and we're like pumped for it you know i agree with that but that wasn't his question right he asked do they sincerely think he was innocent and the black people in my life were rooting for him, even though they thought he murdered him. And it just like Kyle said, the Rodney King thing and the riots around it, like it had impacted the national mood on race relations and particularly cops treating them unfairly.

And it was almost like, you know, they needed to even up the calls. So like in hockey, they'll call a phantom call against some guy who's mostly innocent. Yeah. Yeah, it was all just race-based. No one if he was a white dude No one would have been like oh wow He definitely didn't do it Now one of the theories I do like

Is that it was OJ's son who did it And OJ is quasi like not turning his son in And that's for the reason for much of the evidence Because it could have easily just been his son in OJ's car And his son leaving you know blood in their house And this that and the other I've heard that take before and that's the only thing I could even almost believe a little bit

I think there's definitely a possibility that that is true it's just miles and leagues ahead that it's OJ so his alibi was that he was practicing his chip shot you know golfing in his yard at 10 15 p.m. I can believe something like that like I don't know you know what my sleep schedule's like you can see me roasting a tenderloin at 3.000 in the morning sometimes, you know?

That just doesn't. I don't know, man. There was no witnesses to him doing the chip shots, but there were witnesses that saw him at the murder scene. Oh, see, that makes me think he did. There was that dog walker. Yeah, well, I mean, you couldn't see into his yard,

obviously. He's got those big, tall, ivy fences. I don't know, man. This is like those late night shows where it's like the Nazis and UFOs, the real tracts. truth like that here I just wouldn't want to look I'm not 100% OJ did it because I like because

a lot of the evidence would also work if it was his son who had done it I don't discount any of the evidence or the or the I hate how bad his defense was though like he did I guess they don't want to say his son did it but he claimed that he was so like disabled from his football career

that he wasn't athletic enough to kill a girl meanwhile he's in a man true but it's the girl thing because it takes less athleticism to kill a girl um but he's making like exercise tapes like jazzercise and shit like that's not only yeah but exactly like you can't walk oh there are so many little tidbits this is so cut and dry Kyle it gets worse you don't even know it gets worse there's more there's more very recently prior to the murder, like within a month or two. He had filmed a TV show

with the Navy Seals where they practiced how to kill people with knives. I didn't know that one. Wow. You couldn't write this. You'd be like, that's unrealistic. You know, his footprints are there in the $600. See, that's the thing.

Like, I think the Nightstalker, Romero or whatever, whatever his name was. Ramirez. He was wearing, like, some Mexican sneakers. There was only like 170, pair in North America or something like that. Only like 30 pair were in L.A. So it was like, holy shit, this is a rare

shoe our killer's wearing. OJ's wearing an infinitely rare shoe, $600 $600 Bruno Mollies to a murder. Okay? I can believe that a killer crazy madman might own a pair of $600 shoes, but you don't wear him to

the murder scene unless you're OJ fucking Simpson. Like, it's so clearly him. It was about setting things right, you know, setting the balance right. what had happened. That Rodney King thing was terrible. Basically, the early days of video recording, someone recorded this guy Rodney King getting pulled over, drug out of his car, and beaten so mercilessly by the LAPD with clubs that you're just like, God, what could this guy have done wrong? And it wasn't much, like speeding or something. Like he had a little bit of a record,

but it wasn't some hardened criminal. They beat his shins and his knees. They tortured him in the street. And this lady's recording with her big old giant VHS camera. And that tape hits the news and everybody knows these cops did this. They're dirty. And then they all got off Scott Free. They all got off Scott Free. And then Los Angeles burned and people died in the streets and you get the roof Koreans and all that.

And then it's just a year later or so. OJ Simpson trials coming up. And it's global news. I watched it every day with my grandma. I couldn't have been six, seven, years old, we watched it every day. The jury proceedings, the whole thing, just sitting there on the couch watching that shit. Did you care

at like seven years old? That feels too young to, like, I wouldn't be interested watching that sort of thing. I had my, what I knew was I knew the basics. You know, my grandma would like, like, they think this guy killed his wife and blah, blah, and he used to play football and

and he's in the lethal weapon movies too. He's Nordberg. It's not Nordberg. But yeah, I mean, I knew, I remember when the, when it came out that he was not guilty and knowing that that was wrong at seven. I remember knowing that. The way it was on TV, I think a new cable news channel, like fired up just to cover the, if it didn't fire up just to cover the trial, it was coincidental and a brand new channel

was there when the OJ trial happened. I would argue that it had the national attention a little bit like a new war. you know like that was the level of attention everyone was paying to it so i can see how a kid would have an opinion or look if you want to see like the best take on it i've ever seen it's the people versus o j simpson america crime story uh i think it's on hulu it's probably it's on netflix too and they've got cuba gooding junior playing oj and they leave it a little ambiguous as to like whether he's guilty or not like they don't show him do it they show everything that we know and then they show him kind of looking in the mirror to himself and stuff like that.

But you don't know, no. They don't like black and white show you. But what, but it's very well done. And it's maybe 10 episodes. They got John Travolta in there playing maybe Dershowitz or somebody like that. They got Ross. David Schwimmer is playing Kardashian.

And I think the Kardashian stuff is really interesting for like today's audience because they're like, wait, Kim Kardashian's dad? Yeah. Chloe Kardashian's dad, not so much. That's the guy on trial, actually. And you get a little bit of that. You kind of get some hints at that in the miniseries. It's real well done.

I've seen it two or three times. Yeah, and then the whole Kardashian thing, if there was no OJ trial, there's no Kardashian fame. Yeah. It's a pretty interesting butterfly effect. Yeah, Kim Kardashian's in the movie. Like there's a little girl actor. like oh that's Kim you know she's over there some like mousey little little dark

haired uh fucking where they from um armenis is it armenia that's the genocide yeah that's it Armenia yeah yeah yeah yeah the ashen at the end of the name it's usually Armenian I think okay yeah yeah can't recommend that enough especially if you don't know much about the oj trial

because then you get surprised when like stuff happens because there a lot went on You know, it came out that like Marcia Clark, who's the prosecutor, her ex-husband, like, leaks nudes of her in 1994. He's got like Polaroids of them on vacation and her like Topless. And now that's in the tabloids. Better society didn't know about it. I didn't know about it when I was seven, obviously.

I doubt my grandma knew about it. I'm not part of better society. Yeah, you are. Like, I think it was a sleazy, it was sleazy people who were like digging. in the mud for Marsha Clark's nudes, you know, in the inquirer or wherever they got published. Like, it was one thing after another. Yeah. It was a very interesting trial. And then Judge Edo was like a celebrity. He would get up their grandstand and talk and to the cameras and like play to the media. It was such a cluster fuck. I remember they had DNA evidence as hair or something,

right? And they wanted, the defense couldn't get it or no, the prosecution couldn't get it only the defense something was messed up and their explanation was that you can't split hairs that's pretty glib that's i don't know i can't imagine a bigger trial like trump was on trial and that was not nearly as big as o j's the daily coverage that it's the daily coverage the celebrity of o j simpson which you know he cameras in the courtroom i was too young to know that he was such a big celebrity but but like doing my research like learning about oj as an adult It's like, oh, he was in all these car insurance commercials. He was all over your TV.

And he had been a sports legend. He's got like one of the, he's top something in like yards or something still. Like he's got records. He's one of the greatest. I've seen him, I've seen this clips of him play and like, God damn, that's incredible. He could definitely murder it against plumbers and something. Yeah. He could definitely murder those two people.

And then you like find out the seedy details. like he had been like stalking her and beating her for years. But the thing was, that seems to add some evidence. She's in his mansion in Brentwood where I think real estate's a little high. And he's been kicked out of his house that he bought with his football money and he's got his arthritic knees now and he's out of the league. And he's doing lethal weapon movies or not naked gun movies or whatever they are.

And he's peering through the windows and his ex-wife is blowing this Jewish, waiter fellow on his couch and that might have ruffled some feathers in some people you could imagine that happened just a little just a little it's just not proof of innocence you're really setting the stage you're like the prosecutor

it's it's wild that he got off it's the biggest to me it's still the not just the trial of the century it's the trial of our lives of all time like getting those cameras in the courtroom every day makes it a sitcom, not a sitcom, but a drama, a TV show, a soap opera. That's what it became.

Yeah, I don't know. Like, national attention was just on it, and I don't know why. Like, if Tom Brady killed his ex-wife, I don't think we'd replicate the OJ energy. People would, yeah. Can't be on top of it a little. The black people were invested and the white people were invested. One of theirs had taken out one of ours. and it was and both sides wanted

we had a there was a home team and an away team everybody had a vested interest especially in the wake of all that rioting and Rodney King shit everybody I think it was the Rodney King stuff that elevated it to a level that wouldn't exist if Tom Brady replicated it. And also it was so gory

you know it's not like this that Murr dog Murtaugh guy and North Carolina I think murdered his family I think he shot him all which is horrific OJ cut these people's heads off with a fucking knife he sawed people's heads off in the richest

neighborhood in Los Angeles with a fucking knife and it again I didn't realize he cut their heads off I thought he just slit their throat it was more than that it didn't come off but when they show

it's like almost off the spine is all that's holding like her head and mess around on okay yeah he's he went he went at him geez I think the

we were in this back then that was before like it was it was is beheading everyone. ISIS. Is ISIS is the new one.

Who's before? Taliban maybe. Al Qaeda was the one before. Al Qaeda is what I was going for. Yeah. They all did. ISIS was like pro with that though. They were Right. But it was Al Qaeda

that took my beheading virginity. That's the one that shocked me. By the time ISIS was doing it, I'm like, whatever. Yeah, you got the up to day. Yeah. Right. You got one of the curvy Arab swords.

at least. What is that a butcher's knife? Come on, you low rent desert folk. Get a scimitar. One of those, you ever see those Indian swords that's just a bunch of blades connected with like hinges? It's like a whip sword. No. Yes. Yeah, it's awesome. Indian whip sword. Let me look it up

before we close this out. This is important that we get this in. The Indian whip sword. It's called it Arumi. The Arumi Warriors, yes. Yes. It's pretty interesting because if you imagine like it's hard to defend against. If you block it or try to parry it, it just wraps around and fucks you up anywhere. Dude,

I'm looking at this thing. I would fuck myself up. It would make my num chuck play look safe. Exactly. Yeah. You know, if this were a good idea, other people would have done it.

Look at that guy. You're in big trouble. How did he get up there so high? Look at him go. Maybe he's falling. Yeah. He started a lift. Well, yeah.

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