Painkiller Already - PKA 808 W/ Billy The Fridge & Vito: Wing’s Quits The Internet

Episode Date: June 13, 2026

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P-K-A-808 with our guest Vito, another guest slipping in halfway through. Taylor. This episode of P-K-A is brought to you by Club WPT Gold, lock and load, and our merchandise. Fido, always good to see you. Good to see you guys. How's everybody been? Been smashing. Did you get to do that Mr. Beast thing?

Does that happen? Yeah. Yeah, the filming already happened. I know who won. I'm hoping it's on Polly Market. I'm going to make a killing. you can't say that here bro you know i mean you know

in mindcraft in mindcraft it works in that context if they do have mr beast polymark it's one of them's like well his okay here's all you have to do is tell us was it a good uh film like was it a good uh experience because one of the ones you can bet on is will it crack x million views so if it was dog shit then it's a bad episode

and i was going to watch it if it was really good and then we bet the opposite way. Hmm. I don't want to say. You can't say it was good or bad. I think you're supposed to just say it was good regardless. Yeah, you really are. I hate to tell you.

The things that I'm thinking would hint at the outcome. Yeah, but don't say that. All right. Fair enough. Yeah. I was expanding on that in my mind and I'm like, ah, I'm going to. Yeah.

Dude, the experience was amazing. His studio is called like, Beast City or something like that. And it was freaking first of all, his whole staff is amazingly attractive. I'm there, they're taking pictures of me. And it's like, shouldn't I be behind the camera? I'm just here trying not to look fat.

And you guys look like fucking models. Everyone he hires is super, super attractive. They were all super nice. The perfect race. Just, yeah, wildly good looking. I, I saw people in captivity with being filmed in stuff. And we went there and they have something called this voice of God button.

And like syndicates pressing the voice of God button just saying like wacky god shit to them. And they're like, who said that? Who said that? It's not the voices they're accustomed to. It's a British dude. We went. We saw this prison that, you know, they filmed a video in that they built on studio. Where is his compound?

Like, where's his set? It's in North Carolina in, um, it's not Ashboro, I think. This is the smaller one to the east. And, um, he's like the biggest thing in that city, him in, uh, ECU, which is a state school. But I think he's the biggest employer in the town. He's the, yeah, um, I hung out with his wife. My wife's there too. Jackie and I hung out with Mr.

Beef's actually fiance. And, um, she was amazing. She has a master's degree in like neuroscience, but she got accepted to Oxford or heart. I think she got accepted to Oxford, but she's working with Harvard instead. She's like a genius. She's super pretty, but lots of people are pretty. Not everyone has like this package that she does. She's from South Africa.

And she was telling me stories about her childhood, which were just crazy. Like she told me their escape plan for what happens. people break into the house. And she told it as if this was like normal South Africa stuff. Like, yeah, if they're in your parents' room, you go out the window, you go down, you run, we're gone. Don't go with us. Like, we're dead. Now you live a life without us and this is how you escape the house. In South Africa, she's saying? That's what it's like. Yeah. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. You got to see your kids down and go, hey, listen, if a guy comes in, we're already dead. It's over.

Yes. Take your house, children. Night, night now. This was just the, like, where she grew up. And, but she was a really neat person. We talked about YouTube a ton and like what it's like to be married to Jimmy. And, and, uh, she was really neat. And it was, oh, and then, uh, it was funny.

She said this one thing that I thought was kind of cool. Like, so we're talking to her. And she was describing things that, like, she was talking about her neuroscience background. to Jimmy and he had all these really intelligent questions. And then she just sort of digressed and goes, and that was very attractive. Like she's just really into him. Cool, cool, cool. So then I'm talking to Jimmy later that like at night, six hours later or something.

And he's talking about her and like what an avid reader is. And he just did the same digression and goes, and that's really attractive. It's like these guys love each other, love everything about each other. And that was just super endearing. I'm glad he's got a nice setup over there. So he's living a perfect life. So you're telling me he's rich and has a perfect life? Great.

Except he works all the time. I was talking to Jimmy and I was like a little concerned because I'm this old dad guy. And I'm like, how much do you work? And then he answers it by telling me the hours in which he slept. He's like, well, I'm fine. I got six hours yesterday. I got seven hours the day before. And then six hours before.

And he just works the non-sleeping hours. He just works anytime his eyes are, way or open he's doing something for one of his many businesses he's a YouTuber and he started that way but one of his real passions is like entrepreneurial ship that's why he has you know the food lunchables he does the yeah they're called beastables I think bestibles man come yeah but he's really crazy he is more than one you don't see the kids on the street just jamming the feastables and they're like oh wait is the

feast is the candy he has the what is the lunchable also a feastable I think they're different businesses. I can't keep up with it all. But he does. And it was just he, he's working with so much. I mean, he's smart though,

because like, dude, like 50 cents a guy where you go, how much money you make from like rap and he goes, nothing? And how much money do you make from vitamin water? And he's like, $100 fucking million dollars.

And you're like, all that's pretty good. Yeah. Like all the guys, all the rich guys who are like, we're for celebrities. It seems like being a celebrity is just the key to getting access to like investment opportunities

and the guys who take advantage of that end up set for life. Yeah. Shack is the ultimate. I love how Shack does it. Like there's not a product that comes across his desk that he's not like, yeah,

I'll do it. Like, yeah, why not? He has a hot man. Well, because he believes in icy hot. He's talked about this before

about how he doesn't hock products that he doesn't use and believe in. He's like, what's wrong with general car insurance? It's affordable car insurance. It covers you. Get your cover, make you legal.

what we said. Oh, you don't like icy hot? What you use? What you use when you sold? And you beat down from a long day. You use icy hot. Everybody does. It's the best. He's not wrong.

He's not wrong. I forgot he did the general where he's like talking to that little cartoon. Yeah. It's the most low rent. They put that, they know their target audience. If when you're sick home from school,

you'll see the general being advertised because all the low lives who are also home from school as best of a speak. they're buying up every time slot during Price is right from 1 to 3 p.m. Like on Tuesdays. You love the stories of the celebrities are missed out. I think Hulk Hogan had the story of missing the phone call

to be the George Foreman Grill. They just couldn't get it. They couldn't get a hold of him. So they went to George Foreman. He's a liar. I think he's probably lying because that sounds way too convenient. But man, that George Foreman,

where would George Foreman be without the Foreman Grill? He would have been fucking destitute He'd been a curious old black man just wandering the streets. George Foreman is a curiously good salesman. He came up with another product. I forget the name of it, but it was for pain relief. And he's like, you know, I put my kids on my lap and they're like,

Grandpa, you smell like a grandpa. He's like, it's the Ben Gay. So I had to come up with the pain relief like cream that doesn't smell like Ben Gay. I don't like smelling like Grandpa. My grandkids don't want to sit on a guy who smells like that. And he came up with an odorless pain cream. And I'm like, I'm kind of sold on this. If I needed a pain cream, that's what I'd get.

It's a good pitch. Yeah. That would hurt. You get your grandkids on your lap and you're like, you smell old. You'd be like, oh. Like they wouldn't even know how much pain, how much psychic damage. They just inflated on you. Yeah.

Just a little bit on the Mr. Beast thing. We were talking to Tia. That's his fiance's name. And she, they live the most wild. with all this filming stuff and they're like she says oh some of the shoots they say nah you should stay home on this one this one's just for boys and uh i'm like that's ridiculous you could do anything well they went to the south pole and a bunch of them came back with like genuine frostbite damage and i'm looking yeah at this like i don't know what she is 24 it looks like a model and it's like

yeah maybe that one's not for you maybe you did you could skip out on the south pole trip that's kind of wild i remember the one where they had to like be on a raft like in the middle of the ocean for like a week or something i'm like yeah maybe leave the lady at home for the little just sweaty gross fucking dudes baking in the sun i hadn't watched a ton of mr beast videos like they just don't show in my feed somehow and uh i was asking i'm like what's the nature of this i needed to know like what do i even wear and stuff turns out they give you the clothes but um she's like well you know it's going to be a lot like our 50 whatever big YouTube's video. I'm like, hypothetically, let's pretend I didn't see that. Let's pretend I don't watch

YouTube slop. Millennials running around screaming at each other. What afterwards? Single video. I started watching more. And I'm like, holy smokes, this guy makes amazing video. I saw him like give prosthetic limbs to a thousand people or something. I teared up in it. I'm like, oh my God, this is so good. So he's saving the world. That's his whole thing. That's his thing. Did you have to meet any like YouTube guys where he's like, well, here's Crunchy Pants, 95. He's like the biggest Minecraft guy. He had to politely nod and go, of course.

There were like 50 people there and I probably knew of about 40 of them. Some of them were like makeup girls, which I never really got into. Yeah, I knew most of them though. And some of them was like a reunion, you know, people I hadn't talked to in a while. Philly D. Because that's why I can't watch any of his stuff because it's always like, oh, here comes Jedansky. And we all know what he's up to.

And I'm like, no, I don't know what he's up to. I know nothing about any of these fuckers. It's like a rick and morty get. Is it a crowd? Don't you want to see crap chungis? Like ride a slide into some goo? And I'm like, I know. I'm going to send it.

There were some people I was excited to meet. Most of them I just consider them like, you know, peers from back in the day. But Casey Nicestat. and Marquise Brownlee were there. And both of them, I was kind of excited to talk to. So they were cool.

Did you get any guests for the show, Woody? I didn't walk around like, good word. Doing business or anything. You didn't secure, you know, Grundles 101 to. Yeah,

man. You told me, Mr. Grumbles isn't going to, is it going to, is it going to hot our cum pills? You tell me, cheesy Slopmaster,

4,000 will not be a pin. He could have had all the stars. Yeah, We could have one of those guys who does muckbangs. Man, who just eats and eats and eats. You have to settle for Vito. Man, those guys are a disaster. I want to get one of those Asian YouTubers that, like, eats live animals.

Like, when they eat the live off of this muckpals. I'm not a fan of that. Just kill it. Well, they are. Did you see the controversy? Well, apparently a lot of them are like, they'll take the bite and then they spit it out. Like, they're not eating. These little Asian ladies.

Yeah. I like the primitive building channels that fake it all and you can see like the excavator tracks on the side of the set. Oh yeah. There were a couple of guys from the Philippines. Do you remember the two little guys from the Philippines that were making bank on that? Like probably pre-co. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

They would they'd like have a stick and like start digging a small pit and then it would like star wipe to a perfectly square like swimming pool in the middle of the fucking jungle, baby. And then every bit of their work would be like them like lugging palm leaves. And then there's like a two ton stone like set in plain. And all the comments are like, wow. If only we could reimagine this sort of effort here. It's like, I'm a 65 year old man. And back when I was a kid, we used to do stuff like this in the world.

Hey, I must have fucked those guys on some level, right? Because now I can generate little savages running around and building shit. Well, I mean it in like an endearing way. Like, you know, it's the savage lifestyle. I'm not saying they're bad people. Of course not. A couple of your own little AI mogulies. Yeah, little jungle buddies.

Did you build forts as a kid? Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. I was a big fortman. Anytime we had like a sleepover, I'm like, oh, so we doing the fort or what's happening here? Oh, wait. Are you talking about pillow forts or like, I'm talking about sticks and found

materials and plastics and parts of the problem was like cardboard i don't know maybe some sticks i remember i had seen like i had seen rambo and and i was oh that's the kind of like shit i want to do in the jungle where you're crawling to come back from vietnam and be chased by the cops through the more not rambo first as a child that was a fantasy yeah more rambo too yeah yeah that's fair but so i would take it too far and i knew we were going to play paintball in the woods so i'm like i'm building a fortresses and and and and I would drive two sticks in the ground and then I'd have a bunch of horizontal ones to get behind and make cover and stuff.

I'd make trip wires. And it's like, shouldn't have done that. And after I would set them up and be like, well, that's not going to be fun for anybody. No one's going to enjoy tripping over your tripwires, but I left them up anyway. But I had to like,

there was a part where I was sharpening pungy sticks, and I was like, that's too far. That's definitely too far. Wait, you're making like fucking, hey, we're going to go build forts in the woods. you're like, ah, cool, I made like a spring trap, like the Vietnamese, you know, it'll trap your foot in there. That's what I'm telling you. That's what I thought Rambo was so fucking cool.

I loved what he was doing his jungle crap. When he got real mad after they killed his Vietnamese girlfriend with the green eyes and he takes her jade necklace and like rips it off and he puts it on him. And it's super tight on his thick ass. So that's a lone neck. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. Then he goes hardcore. Oh, you got to see it, man. They torture him.

They lure him in the pig shit and the v. The gooks have him. They got him lower down in the pig shit with his hands above his head. And then the Soviet guy arrives, like the Soviet colonel. And the Soviet colonel's like up. And they like lift him up. He's got leeches all over his body from down in the pig shit. And then they take him inside and they strap him to the bed springs of a bed that are stood against a wall.

And they've got electricity hooked up to it so they could shock him if he doesn't get on the radio and say what they want. Do you think Russians have like an inherently scaryish accent? or do we just think that because we were socialized with it with all the movies? I think it's kind of inherently even look at the signs, all caps. Well, Germans have are naturally scary people. You know, when a German guy started going, schlangen, shan, shan, you're like, ah, fucking shit. Soviets is kind of like a little more subdued. Like, they're not yelling a lot.

Have you more calculated? Have you ever many Russians? I'm trying. I knew a couple. I knew one Russian guy I would have. hang out with but he was always like da yeah we drink the vodka you know my word he was very calculated he wasn't a reality guy I knew a couple of Russians at Cisco maybe two or three not a lot yeah but man they yelled everything even when they weren't mad they talk about the weather

in a way that's like did I do something like it's sunny out right now I'm not responsible for this yeah I love those Russian guys those guys were those guys were dudes they were fucking cool well the one of the guy was ukrainian the other guy was russian and they but it seems like the same and at the time like i didn't even know the difference at the time like i mean i vaguely did but not really and i didn't know certainly know like why there was a rivalry between the two i'm like yeah but you're just a different kind of russian right yeah it's bad up until 1980s chinese or japanese yeah yeah yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh i I wanted to mention this on PKK and I forgot.

This past week, I had a couple buddies in town. And on Friday, a big group of us, my friends were in town staying at my house from California. I don't get to see them that often, maybe once a year. And so we got a big group probably a dozen of us to go to Top Golf. I'd never been to Top Golf, by the way. I really want to go to Top Golf. I find it fascinating. It's so fun.

And so I keep reading about it because, like, it's really interesting, like, the whole history of that company and all the money that's been sunk into it. I don't know the history of the company, but I will say they're running a tight ship over there. It's very well run. Was it packed, though? Were there people there? Absolutely packed. Yeah. It was very, I mean, it was a Friday evening. They serve alcohol. They have chicken wings. It's like David Buster's for golf, basically. Yeah, I ate some chicken wings and they weren't bad. It wasn't like bowling alley chicken wings. They were pretty solid. But anyway, we all went there. And one of my friends, ordered the bays, I guess, where you can get these two bays. So you have like two areas to hit off of.

There's like a sectional on either side, all pretty social facing each other, a couple coffee table type things for your drinks and your, your appetizers or whatever. And me and my wife and my two buddies who were in front of town, we got there first. We got there on time. Everybody else was late. And so we showed up 6.30 and they tell us our bay number. we walk up there and we get to our bay. And immediately I'm like, this is odd. There's a ton of gay coosies and gay bracelets and the ball dispenser, the way you get balls there is you wave your club in front of the visible sensor. And then it feeds you stick your penis in it.

Yeah, and then it feeds you another ball. And there were a bunch of gay flags on it. there were signs that said like celebrate and like we're so proud of you and I was like man I didn't realize this place was so gay like maybe it's because it's it's pride month and then I looked around at the other bays and none of the other ones had this stuff and I was like and I was like what the fuck is this and so I'm standing there with my buddies and my wife and then this manager comes over like smiling ear to ear got a clipboard, very stereotypical. And she comes up and she goes, so, which one of you is Hayden? And my buddy Hayden was like, me. And she's like, congratulations. We're so happy you're sharing this day with us.

Oh, no. You know, you see all the things around here. And he's like, what's going on? The hell is happening? And she was like, well, it's, you're Hayden, right? He's like, yeah. She's like, well, it's your coming out party. coming out.

Come on. And we were all laughing. And he was like, no, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about. I changed my mind. I changed my mind. I specifically called up and I said, I don't want to come out today. And I'd be so good. I don't know what you're talking about.

And she's like, oh, well, in the, in the booking, in the additional details where I guess most people usually write like special occasion, birthday party, anniversary, whatever. my friend who had booked it had written like my friend hayden is coming out and decided to finally be true to himself so we're celebrating a big night for him yeah and so they came over it was the gayest booths you've ever seen like they really did they have gay coosies ready to go do they have a that's why i took one they were on the the table there were gay coozy straw i wish they had taken a whole box of gay decorations for all rent the gay bay it's like one of those big operations top golf. So it's not like there's just one manager. So like multiple came over at different times before they knew it was a prank. And the second one came over and was like, so, Hayden, how do you like it? And he's like, we just, you know, we talked about this. I'm, I'm not gay and I'm not, not there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not coming out. But I'm like, this isn't a coming out party. And she took a little bit of a fence where she was like, oh, well, of course, you know,

we had made a joke of someone getting up. And it was Jews. and you know and so that's kind of rude and she was like directing that ire at him and he's like I don't why I didn't do that why would I do this to myself like I didn't come on they spent all that time setting it up

and they're obviously clearly excited they're like finally we get to use all this gay shit that's just been in that closet literally they're all excited sitting up he was supposed to go yeah you know I'm having a gay old time thank you so much for making it the gayest day of my life

You should have played into it. They had a big meeting about your table. They were like, this is our opportunity to tax into a key market that we have no exactly. The homosexual, the St. Louis homosexual, who golf people, these guys have money. We're not talking about selling one membership. We're talking about selling two memberships, okay? They're a pair, all right?

Sometimes a trio. These guys are wild. All the gay shit you can imagine everything. and be positive and prideful. All right. They're probably like excited to like take pictures and put it on like the corporate page and be like, hey, if you're looking to have, you know, a real gay celebration, top golf is the place.

He gave him that. Like he put on like the gay bracelets and he was like, guys, if you still want a picture, like we can do it. Like, you can't fake gay. Well, he did. So and it worked because like I said he's a Cali boy. And so he's very lean and thin and wears stylish glasses and like name brand like clothes. And so of us Missouri boys, if one of us was very obviously the gay, it's him.

Like it worked perfectly. So shout out. Top golf is interesting because I think it was, is it Calloway that makes golf clubs or something? Yeah. Yeah. So their thing was like top golf showed up and Calloway was like, this is it. This is how we're going to introduce young people to golf. And they invested like a bagillion.

dollars into it and they've figured out like hey some people just want to like hit balls and eat chicken wings they don't want to buy a you know thousand dollar rack of clubs or whatever so they ended up selling the entire thing back to some other venture capital fund isn't top golf failing as a business yeah i think well i don't yeah it's like losing money or something it's fun because i think it's publicly traded yeah it's a it's a good time you don't even have to bring clubs they just have these like stands that have them. It seems cool, but in order to be profitable, it's like you and your buddies would need to be like, you know, going to Top Golf like once a month to hit balls and, you know,

fucking drink a pitcher of beer. Yeah, I probably wouldn't want to be a member of it. But every once in a while, it's a good time. After Top Golf, we went to this like Dave and Busters-esque place just because the night was still young. We wanted to keep having a good time. Laser tagged for the first time in 20 years. And it is, it's actually more fun than I remember.

It was great. Has the experience been upgraded at all? 100%. It was multi-layer. The gun, the phasers had two different settings where you could have a beam that went a little longer range or you could just have like a shotgun effect. And that was like a little easier to hit people. And there was also no issue.

I think it was because there was no young kids around. But there wasn't that problem of one person just tailing you all the time. just waiting for your, waiting for you to recharge and then shooting you again. It gave you like a second or two of invulnerability when you got back from death and so you could

kill a person that was like camera. I did one that had like a base. So like when you got shot you had to go back to your little enclosed base and put your gun up the thing and then you would respawn technically. Like the first thing that the guy who was running it was like showing us the video

he's like all right everybody you got to watch the instructional video. It wasn't even an instructional video. It was like actors like building lore where he's like, we're here on planet Zyclan and we're ready to do. And I'm like, I thought it was going to be about how the guns work and this and that. And then before

this guy, I need the lore. Taylor. Don't be a stupid. I can't get into it unless I know exactly which planet I'm defending. He was scanning us in to be like and you know, you can't hit anybody with it and you can't run. You can run a little bit though. And then like

and in my head I'm like, I'm in my 30s. I'm not going to run around the laser tag thing instinctively. The first thing I did get in there and I'm like, I was, I'd been running for 10 paces before I was like, oh, fuck, I'm running. Like I'm just, I'm full on split about the laser tag. It's been a long time. I want that guy to be like, does anyone have any questions? And I go, what are the primary mineral deposits of a zyclon? It's been a while, but I usually top the leaderboards at laser tag. And I do it in the cheesiest. fucking ways possible.

Where I played, there were two things that I do to run up my score. One, they'd often have a base they left undefended. So I just sit there shooting their undefended base, which is like a little arch with a light on it. I'd get like 600

shots on target while they're not defending their base. The other thing I'd do is I'd find like an uncoordinated kid, maybe six and a half years old and bully him the whole fucking time. So I'm like moving, making my like shoulders hard to hit and dodging. Covering his sensor.

I don't do that. But I do like make my sensor a moving target. And the kids are just getting lit the fuck up by me in my 40s. And sure enough afterwards, they're like, what, he carried this team? Fuck yeah, I did. Little Johnny over there sucks. Just be in a complete hardo. Just like a try as hard as you can.

I did all right. I went positive, and my team won, obviously. But my younger brother, who was on my team, went like 40 and seven or something because he was, like, doing that, like, you know, that movie Master of Disguise, like, how long his neck is. Like, he was, like, doing that, like, behind cover to, like, push his shoulders down so nothing was visible. And then just, like, bad spirit killing people. I was running around, like, a Marine, you know. Oh, I'd take the high ground. I'd pick on children. I'd pick on undefended bases.

Easy kills or still kills? I got a couple of meleys. Doesn't it feel like that? Aren't we at the point with technology where laser tag deserves more? Like, okay, remember how they tried to make esports a thing? And then everybody was like, well, this is stupid. But like, if they had a global laser tag arena televised sport, you know, in the, in the, fucking camera angles and you could see the lasers and crazy bases and shit.

Like, I'd tune in and watch that. Like an American gladiators. Aren't they trying to bring that back? Like, they did. Now they're going to do that again. Piro? Well, it's going to be lame,

but like, now we have the technology. They could make it crazy. See, you think that about laser tag and whatnot, but I also had this thought when I was like in middle school and I saw commercials for the ultimate robotic fighting champion. And I was like, this is going to replace sports.

This is going to be the greatest thing of all time. And then you watch a couple and it'll be someone who made a tremendously creative like crab monster. And then the other guy will be like, well, I made a really dense wedge. That was always the fucking tragedy of Battlebox where it's like I made a spinning disc, which is one centimeter high. And you're like, I guess that is the ideal robot. God damn it. that's really what it was. It was just something that spins and is that high.

It was so good. Did Freddie Wong do that? I'm not sure. I think so. I think that guy from MythBusters did it. The Asian one, he was super into that. All right. I had a, oh, we're talking about laser tag. Have you ever watched professional tag? Yeah.

If you're like me and you're like, ooh, tag, I wonder if I'd be good at this. And then you watch like 60 seconds of it. No, Woody. You, you're terrible. I get the exact same feeling where I go, catching that man is impossible. There's no, I wouldn't, you could give me a hundred years and I would never say, I'm like, just, it's not happening, man. Did you find that guy?

That guy would catch me in a heartbeat. He's like diving through tires and shit. Exactly. Like, soccer I go, I might get lucky and kick it in just the right way that it sails around everybody. And I watch that thing and I go, it's an impossibility, fat boy. You're never playing tag. You would not get away from anybody. I would get smoked.

I would get smoked in professional tag. Oh, yeah. I'm not built for speed. That wouldn't work out. I'm loving, man. That's been one of the good things about the fucking TikTok generation is discovering all these weirdo obscure sports where you're like, I wonder if I'd be good at that. Have you seen the one where the Indian guys just flick a disc?

Yes. like, yeah, what is that fucking game called? I don't know what that game is, but it looks relaxing. Dude, it looks so relaxing and it's like an old Indian guy. He's like 50 years old, like smoking a cigar and he just goes, gunk. And the fucking thing goes, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And it like goes in all the holes. It's like air hockey.

Like, I don't know if it's just a weird, you know, frictionless pad or if it's air or something. But it seems like he's trying to affect all the pucks on the board in a symmetric kind of way. Like it's not, it's obviously no good to just to smash into them all. Like he's trying to hit multiples of specific ones. or something. I have no idea what they're doing. Looks easier than pool too. Because like, if you hit it into the corner, because the disc is so big, even if you don't hit it directly

into the little pocket, it just bounces back and then you got to get it. You don't know. I don't know what that's called. No, I think laser tags gay, though. It's the fact that it doesn't hurt gives you no incentive to like, you know, not be brave and go in there and be Arnold Schwarzenegger. And the fact that you got a sensor.

means that people can long neck like Taylor's brother and you can't just shoot them in the face for your paintball gun. Airsoft is a close second, but people wipe paint off, but you usually can see it splatter on them. At least you know it hit them. But when you're flotowing in a dark, fog-filled indoor arena,

sometimes I can't tell if I hit that guy or not. I'm going to. Have you played Airsoft though? It hurts. Oh, yeah. Oh, it hurts a lot. Yeah. It's just you can cheat.

You can cheat more easily in that. And one thing I noticed was a lot of the kids were wearing basically armor so that it wouldn't hurt. And I don't like that. It should have to do it naked. It's not that I want to make you. It's not that I want to cause you pain or I want to hurt you. It's that you should be governed by your fear of pain. Like obviously, nobody's going to die here today.

So we can't approximate real war. But let's at least go to like an owie every time that you get hit. That way we all play in a respectable manner. and it's not just some like rush at each other and be silly kind of thing. I don't know. I think it keeps them more honest. But there's words to inflict pain beyond physical pain. Like what have you built a laser tag and every time you got shot you lost a dollar?

Or if it would be like, fuck, I can't run out there. I'm going to lose 100 bucks. Everyone's going to shoot me from like every fucking side. Right? Instead of your sensors just beeping, it's your father's voice saying he's disappointed. Emotional, emotional damage. You're really? fucked up out there, son.

Damn it. This sucks. I would want you to have a full body suit where if you got touched anywhere, it electrocuted you in that spot pretty severely. And the guns don't need to be like infinite pull the trigger no recoil weapons. They need to like

you need to have to reload the laser gun, even though that you obviously don't have to reload the laser gun. I think we needed a reload ours. But it's just hitting like a button. But I'd really lower it down. It's a button. There's a counter on it. It looks kind of like a halo gun. Like it counts down from 30 or something like that.

Yeah, I remember that now. Some of them you don't have to. This one, we didn't have to reload. I played a ton as a kid. That was one of my favorite Christmas presents I ever got. You had the sensor on your chest and the sensor on your back and a couple of phase pistols. And me and my cousin would have wars all the time. Did Jay, when you went over a kid's house and he had the toy you always wanted and he didn't want to play with it?

You're like, oh, you got laser tag? He's like, yeah, it's gay. You're like, no, it's not gay. It's probably really cool. He's like, I don't want to play with that at all. Oh, I had a friend Eric in grade school, and his dad was like a big time like GI Joe toy collector. And so you went in their basement and you could see all this stuff. And I remember setting up toys and we weren't allowed to play with like the super cool GI Joe's.

But he also had like a billion army men like enough that you could have. Because usually you start setting up the army men as a kid and you're like, well, I guess we got to use the flag guy at some point. Like just pretend he's a gun guy. but he had so much. And he was like, I'll let you pick. He's a dick hit. He's like,

I'll let you pick the things you want. And then I like set up my army. He set up a little army. And I was like, all right, I shoot you here. And so that guy dies. And he's like,

okay. Well, I also picked, while you didn't know, a bomber. And so I fly over your army and I kill everyone. And I was like,

I'm going, Motherfug. This is why people don't like you, you piece of shit. This is why they, invented war gaming is to punish that kid. He's like, no, you got to roll the dice. This is why my mom had to make me come over here.

My friend's father was an angry alcoholic, and he would do nasty shit, like run over your bicycle as he drunk drove away from the house, but he was also into model trains. And we would risk his alcoholic wrath to play with his trains when he wasn't around because they were that dope. So you're doing anything. No good. Train dads are a dying breed, man. Nobody's into toy trains, huh?

Train dads are underrated. That's such a neat thing to do. I dig it. I had a train. He was a coworker when I was an accountant, like early in my career. And he was super into trains. Both model trains, he had recreated the train tracks and like to the graffiti on the walls and the tunnels and everything in his basement. Like he real life replicated it with pictures and stuff.

And he'd put the picture next to the thing. Like here's real life and here's what you're looking at here. so you could see how well he did. That's pretty badass. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Did he wear a little conductor's cap? I don't think so. He was also into, he probably did.

Yeah, when you weren't there, the hat came on, Woody. And another one of his hobbies. He was like, he was in a club that rebuilt actual train engines. Like, you know, I guess it had a diesel generator. For what purpose? You know why. It was neat to, like, play with the real, like, trains. like you know he's into model trains and then here's a real one and just that guess yeah like it when you

see trains up close like they're so durable and hardcore and well built and just like indestructible and heavy it's it's pretty neat like i didn't know we made shit that was good anymore everything in my life we are kind of spoiled you know consumer garbage but if you went back to the 19th town it's probably the first time you see a train you're like oh my fucking god and then we're like oh who cares about trains back then i bet everybody cared it's probably sick as yeah it's probably a big deal it was super scary to those savages in the planes right when the first time they saw a steam engine come by and and you know chugging all that black sooty steam out the top they didn't know what the fuck that was i think it's the story of uh russian cinema where they had the first uh motion picture whatever

and a train's coming at the camera every ran out of the theater like oh fucking god That's pretty cool. If I'm an American Indian, I see a steam locomotive. It makes me realize how far behind on the tech tree I am. That's the scary part. I already knew you had guns. I already knew your stirrups were built out of metal. But now you have a steam locomotive?

Good golly. I don't even have a fence. You'd have to go back to the tribe and be like, we're fucked. These guys, I tell you, I've got their shit together. Like, they really know. What we do is we lay low, we make them feel guilty, and then they'll let us build casinos. And it worked. So it was a good point.

On a rocky soldier talk about the Gulf War, and he saw an American soldier up close, and the thing that blew him away was the hearing protection. He's like, oh, my God, these guys are so well equipped. They're soldiers, like, their government cares enough about them that they give them hearing protection for firing these, you know, big artillery or whatever it was. And that blew him away. I think that was a thing even in like World War II where like the Germans were like, wait, if one of your guys is like wounded, you'll like risk a whole battalion or get that guy. It's like, yeah, that's our guy. And the Germans are like, wait, how are we the master race?

That's way cooler. We just love Hans out there. Yeah, we just let him fucking die. We don't, you know, we don't go save. What made the Germans realize the difference in like the supply chain? I think I've heard. I was when they were in the American P.O.W camps. Yeah, yeah.

I was going to say that. But Army regulations and like the rules of war required that we feed our POWs the same meal that we would feed our troops. So they're getting like butter and bread and chocolate and meat. And like they when you compared the diet that they were, they were getting at the camp, which was like 3,000 calories a day to what they were, their rations were when they were in the field fighting for Germany. they were on like broth and crackers and shit like that like they were all starving they

had the diaries of some of those POWs and the one colonoscopy flashbacks from this broth bullshit in his diary he's like the they gave us double butter today this can only mean one thing they're out this is the last hurrah they'll show their true colors tomorrow no economy could afford to give its troops butter this has all been propaganda And then the next day, more butter. They just had so much butter than that day that everybody's got two pieces of butter. They didn't care. They just had extra butter.

And he couldn't. One of the notes was like, saw a guard eat candy bar, throw half away in trash can. This must have been for my benefit. To shame. Yeah, they're trying to trick us. Do you think at some time, like some Nazi general was talking to Hitler and being like, yeah, I mean, we are spending a lot of time on Zambor. outfits, you know, and they look great. I'm not coming down on it. They look very spiffy,

but maybe the supply lines, you know, literally. It wasn't the supply lines. Germany didn't make enough butter to like if you looked at the amount of like butter that we were making. It's in the thousands of tons or something crazy like that, the amount of stuff that we were just creating day to day to feed the war effort. Because obviously it wasn't just our war effort. We're entirely backing the Soviet army. We're entirely backing not just the British Army, but they're populace. We're keeping the populace fed over there.

They're making those liberty ships like one a day or two a day or something crazy like that. That's crazy. Got those lend lease loans going? Yeah. Yeah. Those were profitable, I think, at the end. Oh, tremendously profitable. We got our money. The amount of trucks that we sent the Soviets

so that they could fuck Germany and the ass is mind-boggling. The amount of Fords that we sent them. I wonder if we could like transform our industry to get good manufacturing again if we needed to.

Like it's all during COVID. But Americans don't want the jobs. They were making respirators and CPAP machine stuff, but I don't know how many they really cranked out. I don't know how hard. I don't know. I don't know what they would be making. You know, like, I don't know.

You know the story of the guy who I think the Army was like, hey, we got enough fucking tanks, man. We're not fighting a land war anytime soon. You guys can stop making tanks. And there's one congressman who goes, my district makes tanks and will make tanks forever because if that factory shuts down, I don't get elected again. So we're basically just churning out tanks to keep one guy in office because he's like,

that's, you know, 90% of the jobs in my district is making these fucking things. I like having tanks. It's a neat thing to have. Yeah, but we got, we have tanks. I don't know. Now a bunch of the Taliban has those tanks. And as soon as they figure out how to. work them. We're in trouble.

The trouble with tanks is they're like 10 million to make and 500 to break. A lot of people think tanks are yesterday's war. I don't know shit about war. Because tanks are such a cool thing. It depends where you're fighting the war,

but where they're fighting that Ukrainian war, those they finally admitted that they've got completely autonomous kill drones now. The Ukrainians, they send it toward the enemy lines and once it passes a certain distance from

the friendly lines, it goes into what they call Terminator mode where it kills any person it encounters. Like it completely autonomous. No people required. Any person? Yes. Any person it sees it. That doesn't seem like. It seems like

what if it's some fucking lady or some kid. Well, again, they're sending it towards the lines of a war. You know, like they're not. Don't go walk around. I guess they're pretty confident there's only soldiers right there. How sophisticated is? Is it like blowing up deer? Like,

I don't know. But it's stuff like that and it's stuff like those land drones, which are essentially just a four-wheeled, like an ATV, like a big heavy-duty four-wheeler with an armor cage around it. And on top, there's a 50 caliber machine gun with a thermal optic and a remote control. And there's some guy who knows where maybe 100 yards away, maybe 100 miles away, remote controlling a Terminator with a 50 cow and a thermal site on it that the whole rig probably cost them to tens of thousands

and it would be incredibly difficult to deal with something like that. See, the Ukrainians are stupid because if they want to fund the war effort, just go for a million dollars, you can come pilot one of the kill drones and just go at it. And there are all sorts of weirdo millionaires who'd be like, absa fucking lootly, I want to pilot the kill drone for a day. I want to ride around the fucking Ukrainian woods and just flight, people up.

They can have the balloons? There's balloons now. Oh my gosh. Yes. So these balloons are, I don't know how big they are. I couldn't because I just saw it with the drone hanging from it and I didn't know how big the drone was for scale. But the drone looks like an airplane, right?

Airplane shaped drone. And the balloons, the prevailing winds go from west to east. So from Ukraine to Russia. And they just launch it high, like eight, 10 kilometers high. and it just blows in the general direction of Russia. So if they need to get something a thousand kilometers away, then the first like 800 are just trade winds and balloons. And then it releases it from the balloon.

And from there it gets piloted and autonomous and hits its target. And the Russians can't replicate it because the wind doesn't go the other way. Of course not. Of course they can. Yeah, that is so genius. This is something I think about a lot. And then I have a little more to add. drone scarier, I would have never thought of that.

That's so cool. A lot of the energy that these drones use that limits their travel distance is spent gaining altitude. So by the balloon taking it like kilometers high and of course a thousand kilometers away, like the energy now is almost

gliding. Like it can go really far from that point if the wind doesn't take it exactly where it needs to go because it's starting at you know thousands and thousands of feet in the air. It's pretty neat. You know, balloon were the only uh american casualties on american soil during world war two i do know no oh yeah

the japanese were like wasn't it was the japanese right kyle yeah yeah they're like what if we just put a bomb on a balloon and let the fucking jet stream carry it to america what would happen and it turns out one american family going out picnicking would randomly get bombed in the middle of nowhere and you're like dude how unlucky do you have to be to be the only american family that gets hit by Japanese bomb is out for a soul. It sucks. It's the worst.

Asterisk, though, that was the only casualties on, I think, the mainland U.S. Right, right, right. U.S. because we, of course, fought Pearl Harbor, of course. And lost like a thousand, two thousand guys or something. Well, Pearl Harbor wasn't, that wasn't technically. No, no, no, no. In the Aleutian Islands of Alaska, not Pearl Harbor.

Oh, Pearl Harbor was not technically our territory? Not until, yeah. 1948, right? It was, but what I'm saying is like, there's a different, we fought on the ground. with rifles and shit against the Japs in the Aleutians, whereas the war technically hadn't begun yet

when Pearl Harbor happened, I'm not counting those. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep our numbers high. That would be horrible. Oh, Pearl Harbor was 1959. So it was a organized state in 1959. Prior to that, it was an organized, incorporated

territory. I didn't know. You take the Dole family for that. Wait, it's a state? It's not a state. What is it? Hawaii is definitely a state. Oh, Hawaii. I thought you met Pearl Harbor by itself was a... Oh, I think I did say it wrong. You did, yeah.

In any case. I was confused. But yeah, they were sending those balloons with bombs strapped to them across the whole Pacific. What did they stop? Japanese. They didn't stop one. There were lots of them. It's the only one that like made it.

The rest like... They fucked up. Like, you can imagine the, what happens to a balloon laden with explosives when it has to travel from Japan to Washington State. you know, along the way, some winds fucked them up and they just fell apart. Fish got fucked up. Yeah, they made a silk. There's silk balloons probably or something crazy like that.

And I don't know what kind of control they had. Like, if you drop a balloon randomly somewhere in Western U.S., it hits nothing. Yeah, it's actually crazy that it hit a target. It's like actually insane. It was meant to be more of a terror weapon and sort of like put the fear into the U.S. Yeah, random explosions. Yeah.

Is that what it actually looks like? Is this Japan or Wizard of Oz? What am I looking at? I know. I was going to say. This looks like a... Oh, no, Toto. The Japs are coming.

I was picturing those balloons they like to this day, where it's just like a fire that like burns under a bunch of paper. Look at the dancing lanterns, child. Oh, get out there. Get out of there. I've seen those ceremonies where they release a ton of those, whether it's China, Korea, Japan, whatever. And every time I'm like, this is irresponsible.

like something it might work on the West Coast it might work on the West Coast we definitely start a forest fire I don't know what happens to them I've launched them before it's really cool to do like they're fun to do and like watch them go off and like we all did it at a party one night sent them all off

floating and we kind of sat there drinking looking up at the night skies they slowly got small but in the back of your head you're like it'll go out for it comes down right I mean that is like the way this works as it goes when it goes out the balloon comes down we're safe right there's not like a We're not going to burn you.

I don't think there's any way for that thing to last and land, right? It would be a very... It's all tissue paper, so, like, you think it kind of... I don't know what happens. I assume the candle eventually just burns out. It seems totally plausible that the paper balloon catches fire and lands in a fiery problem. It's well-crafted. My bad, my bad.

I didn't really... Show us an image of these things. These things are well-crafted. Those people are good with their hands. Paper lanterns are banned. in 24 U.S. states. So apparently they are a big problem that we're not thinking

about. A massive fire at a recycling plan in the West Midlands is thought to have been started by Chinese lanterns. Okay. So a factory in the UK burned down from the majesty of the dancing lights. Propaganda.

What next to MSG started the fire? I don't believe it. I'm always impressed with how they find the initial cause of those wildfires like in California. and out west. Do you think they really know? I feel like they just go, yeah, I was that homeless guy. Fuck that guy. Like, how do you know? They've got like some Columbo out there because they'll be like, here's a cigarette butt in, you know, the San Juan Valley. And they somehow know. Yeah.

Kyle, is this proof that there's no way this thing catches fire? Because I feel like it's proof it could totally catch fire. Oh, how could it catch fire? All the issue is inches away from the plane. Yeah, I just lack the imagination. I can't imagine a fire starting from this. So that'll keep it from burning. This looks like a fake picture. That's a lot of stars juxtaposed against that light source. Some of them are,

it looks like fucking Jupiter has moved within our orbit or something like that up there. Yeah. They pose a significant danger to aircraft because they can be sucked into the engine. Wow, look out the window, everybody. Oh, God. Yeah, paramotoring through that looks like trouble. My wing would catch fire.

Oh, that's true. That's the kind of red bull stuff I'd like to see. Did you see that guy who killed himself, like, in the most traumatizing way imaginable by, like, he had, like, lost his mind. And he, like, ran out onto the runway and then, like, leapt into the engine. The turbine. Yeah, the turbine and just got all diced. Yeah. I've seen footage like that. I don't know if I saw the same one,

but that doesn't seem traumatizing or even that painful. What are you talking? No, not for him, for the entire plane load of people who are like, I can't wait to get to Hawaii. Yeah, and then it's like,

actually, we're going to be delayed a little bit. A man just killed himself in the left wing. Guys, regretfully, we do have to use the slide and just don't look at the man. No matter what,

not look out the left side of the plane and down towards. the engine. Do not look there. Eyes forward. It's going to be fine. There's a tremendous amount of viscera. I have seen three instances of people going into the

turbines now. There was that there was that. I saw the Atlanta airport. Yeah. Yes, she worked there and she wasn't paying attention in her meeting and they think she's a little doked up and she wandered into the suck zone and just got pulled in. And there was even like, it was a special

circumstance where that engine, it didn't have some pump. So it needed to stay at like whatever, 30% go mode as they sat there when normally it powers down much lower. And so, but they'd all been like directly warned about this seconds before she essentially walked close enough to it to get Looney Tunes sucked off her feet into the turbine. And then I've seen two different dudes like rush the tarmac and just go for it. Well, yeah, they heard Suck Zone and got kind of excited. didn't understand. That sucks. Wait a minute.

I could get sucked off. You're saying. I just heard it. I just heard it. I'll be right there. Can you imagine that lady? She's got like her air pods in in the middle of the meeting. And they're like, you should really,

Sarah, you should really pay attention. Locked in Sarah. She's not going to listen. Whatever. Just keep going to happen. I'm going to get sucked into an airplane. What's going to happen?

I'm going to traumatize the, I guess, tarmac janitor who has to sweep me up. See, I always loved watching the videos of like Chinese industrial accidents. Yes. And I was watching them so often that I somehow got in the mindset that we're all watching this stuff, right? So one of my most embarrassing, it's a pretty embarrassing memory is that I'm on like a work trip with my boss or whatever, you know? And we're like hanging out to his hotel room late at night. He's like, ah, we should watch something. I go, oh, I got a cool one. And I just bring up a video of a Chinese guy getting sucked in one of those industrial

a lead and like spine and he looks at me and he goes what the fuck is wrong with you and I went oh you don't you don't watch these I never mind it's like I remember leaving his room and going I guess that's not like a normal thing people watch I kind of did not ingratiate myself with my boss another one where a Singaporean man gets crushed by a dump truck yeah it's like a watermelon him. You don't believe it. You're right. This is weird. Let's watch police activity. Definitely did not help me advance in that organization.

It's kind of like, all right. Dude, did you see the new police activity? All right, so here's what happened. The new police activity video is hilarious. So the camera is from the point of view of the cruiser. It's the car cam that looks out, you know, out the windshield. And they're pulling into the police parking garage. Cops everywhere, nobody else.

and there are at least two fellow cops sitting on the bumper of their cop SUV. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, yeah. And one of those cops pulls his gun out and jokingly. That's literally where I live. You got a hush want to tell this story. Sorry, sorry.

So one of the cops that's standing there pulls out his pistol and points it at the cop car that you're looking out of jokingly. He goes, who ho ho ho. The cop who's driving goes to do the same exact thing. Oh, ho ho ho. And shoots him. The bullet goes through the windshield and you watch it impact his shoulder. And it's like, poof, and dust comes out of him.

And he's like, ah! And now he's on the ground. And they're like putting tourniquets on him and holding the blood in. It's wild. Like, they should both be fired, but I think they both got like a slap on the wrist. Dude, my local news is like, there was an incident after a bit of horseplay. And I'm like, what was this horseplay? The horseplay is like one cop going, eh, and the other cop shoots him in the fucking chest.

And you're like, oh, fuck. So did he miss the bulletproof vest or do they not wear one or you just don't know? Oh, really? You can see it hits him sort of in the shoulder just outside where the vest covers it looked like to me. Just a couple of boys paling around. Yeah. You can't have fun anymore. No.

The shooting happens at about 20, 25 seconds or so, maybe a little before. Do they have any other angles or just that one angle? Just this and there's no sound. I'd like to imagine the cop got out and went, Gotcha! Too reflection. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick.

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Well, that's it, rookie. Now you're one of us. Did the cop who shot him, like, get out and help at all? It seems like it was kind of just like, oh, man, I fucked up. He rushes in. I think the guy with the sunglasses on the back of his head. I think that was the shooter. That's,

oh, okay. That's the amount of negligence that you see there. Cop pulls a joke with gun. I wonder if the trigger was modified. If he had a lighter action than stock. Are they allowed to do that? Yeah.

I don't know. What's that gun that they keep saying keeps going off without actually pulling the six hour, right? Don't cops sometimes carry those or no? It's like a. I think it's the most... 20-something, right? It's one of the most popularly carried handguns.

A lot of cops carry them. But I think everybody started phasing them out when all the bad news hit because you can imagine the liability issues if you're a cop who's knowingly carrying a 226. Like, that wouldn't look well in civil court if you accidentally pop somebody like this. Yeah.

I don't know what happens. I'm not good at jokes is what I'm learning from this video. I'm learning the best at a car. I got a good one. Hey. I got a good prank. Are the cops just doing that all day long? Just pulling their guns out, pointing them at each other?

I'm going to shoot this guy's lab. The ultimate prank. They do that all the time. I saw a cop give the dog the warning shot the other day. I thought that was cool. This huge pit bull was being sicked on the cop. And so the bad guy could make an escape. And the cop shoots, it's charging right at him.

And he shoots the gravel in front of the dog. And it still keeps coming. And he shoots the gravel in front of the dog a second time. And the rocks kind of spray him a little. And he's like, oh. okay and he just fucks off it was great I was so glad I was see that dog they should shoot pit bulls

you know just in the interest of public safety yeah when you said it was a pit bull I said well we just went for it I didn't get rid of that thing it's weird dinosaur head all right so I love weird dog breeds there's a new one all right it's half Belgian Malinua

half chihuahua it's a Belgian Malinua ha ha ha ha Zach Can I see a picture of a Belgian Malawaha? Good like spelling it. Yeah.

I have a head so big, it's like dragging on the ground. Is it a Belgian Shepherd or is that different? You take a Belgian Malinua and you mix it with a standard Chihuahua, preferably a long-haired one. And it comes out looking like a mini Belgian Mal with like tons of energy. And it's like a miniature attack dog that you've created. And an even bigger attitude problem. Oh my God. this is a working dog a fighting this is a this is a tool like that's a bad boy i don't want this dog

anywhere near me the other one i saw was more handsome than this this is yeah i'm seeing way better looking at what you go like that's not bad look at how jacked he is he is jacked look at the shape of his body how it's like a it's like a torpedo or something how it gets small toward the back he's built for speed leaping and chomping and he's just so focused like like that's exactly what i'm talking about. I don't know. A lot of chihuahuas are kind of pieces of shit. Are they tiny? This looks like they... It depends. You get a different mix. You know, like when you mix

do things like that, one that's small and one's big. You get all sorts of in-between type shit. I'm seeing some big ones too. Yeah. I don't know about that. That seems needless. What do you know about Taylor? What I know about Woody is Club WPT Gold. All right.

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Nice. My dog's not doing well. Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Oh, no. Yeah. So people don't know. I have two great day in puppies. One's fine.

They're probably nine months old now, something like that. And one had a bad shoulder. So we had an operation on him. It was $8,000. Apparently, most people just put their dog. down. He had a soft bone like in his leg where it puts in the shoulder. So she went and operated on it and it's healing. But for reasons we don't know about three days ago, he stopped using the leg entirely. Like he was using it more and more and more and sort of on the path towards

healing. And then it just didn't use it at all. Took him to the vet yesterday and they had x-rays, which showed nothing, it seems. And now he's barely using the leg, but it looks like he took a step back and we're watching it. We're giving him more meds and he may need a follow-up surgery. We'll see. Fuck. Are they like pain meds? So he's kind of doped up right now?

Yeah, pain meds. And then there's a chance he gets, I forget the name of this treatment, like PCP. They take his red blood cells. They spin them and then they put the platelets back in or something to encourage healing. We'll see where it goes. So we're just doing what the vet tells us to do for now. Well, that sucks. Poor little guy. Well, put not a little, poor giant. No, yeah. He's probably like 1.15 now, something I'm just guessing.

That's ridiculous. Does he vocalize like being in distress? Like, hey, you take me to the vet? He just kisses you. Like when he's in pain. That's the worst part about animals, man. I had a cat that like, I still have him. But like one night he was just like crying. And I'm like, oh, man, like, are you in pain or something? I'm like, well, if tomorrow you're still feeling bad, I'll take you to the vet. And the next day he's not like saying anything.

I'm like, oh, okay. So you're feeling better, right? And then I pet him and I pick up my hand. It's covered in blood. And I go, no, that's not. Oh, what cats are supposed to be like? That's not good at all. Usually there's blood's on the inside.

I think something's up. This is different. What was wrong with him? And then I made the, uh, he, I, I, I, I, he was like pissing blood, basically. So he like, and then so he pissed and he was sitting in his own like piss urine or whatever. Like, so I take, but here's, but here's, the worst part is I had a white cat carrier so I stuff him in this carrier

and I showed it up at the vet the thing's covered in fucking blood on all sides and it's like a packed waiting room and everyone's like, do you have a dead fucking animal in there? What the fuck's going on? I'm like, no, it's still alive. All right? It's going to be fine. Did you give the blood out?

So I still have this. And it's a really nice cat carrier so I don't want to throw it out, but it's just got blood all over it. No, I can't throw that out. It's a nice cat carrier. I got most of it. it out. Did you give them the Q-tip treatment? Or no, that was just for the ladies. That's just for the ladies.

No, I took one to the doctor, the doctor just, it's so funny, they lay the cat on on the thing, and the doctor's like, and the Chinese guy, he goes, hey, watch this, very cool. And he just presses on the cat, and the cat just starts pissing blood all over the table. And I'm like, that's not cool. This sucks. And he's like, there's a lot of blood in that

there. That happened to my coworker. Yeah. He went to the emergency room. and they They said, what's this? They're cool. They had to put their finger up his butt for something,

and they're like, you're going to pee. And he's like, no, I'm fine. They don't have to pee. And he goes, there's always pee.

There was pee. Yeah. I don't know where they pressed it or whatever. But it was very fascinating. See a guy just press one part of my cat. And I'd fucking giant faucet of blood turn on. I'm like, oh,

it's curious. But now I just give him a, the problem with cats is they don't, Especially the male cats, they're just evolutionarily retarded about water where you're like, dude, you have to drink that so that your body doesn't break down and kill itself. And they're like, I just don't like water that much. I don't like it. So now I have to, you either at a certain point, especially if you male cats, you have to

give them like special cat food that has like extra moisture and shit because they're just very bad at drinking water. What do they want? Milk? No, they don't want anything. Like they're just weirdly avoidant to like, they'll drink like a little bit of water and they're like, that's good enough. actually the thing that kills cats

like 99% of cats I don't know the actual statistic but it's like kidney disease like every time it's just their bodies don't process fluids that well and their kidneys eventually die off which is why right now the Japanese are working on some new like there's a Japanese guy who goes oh cats could live to 50 it's just their fucking kidneys

and he's like they're working on like a new drug that you could hopefully give your cat and they'll just add another like 10 years to their lifespan because it's just their kidneys go they live long yeah they live too long actually like cats live like 20 but the last five or six years

suck yeah they're all like gross and there's tons of things on with they do they do become like elderly overnight I don't like cats I mean I don't dislike them but I don't like them at all what you just haven't met the right cat

man that's what people say. Yeah, the best cats in the world are almost like below average dogs. Nah, man, I got great cats. If you met my cats, you'd be changed my mind. Last kid, I'm bit me. Your cat is elderly and he leaks blood. I don't think I'd like it that much. I hate your cat.

He's quiet. He's quiet. That's why cats are great. They don't bother you with anything. They just slowly bleed to death. It's how little they bother you, you know? He's like, I don't want to make it your problem. My dogs bother me constantly. We had this idea that if we hung like a string of bells from the back door,

they could ring the bell and we would open the door and let him out. A couple issues. Our dogs know how to open the door on their own. I don't know why they keep bothering us by ringing the bell. If we refuse to open the door, they just do it. But second, they ring the bell constantly and they don't want to go out. They just want to look out the open door, which is not great for air conditioning. And they're just a constant pain in the ass.

They ring the bell more than once an hour. they don't have like a little like window they can look at shit or whatever they can look they don't want a window they don't want the air do they want they want to get at the air that's outside probably i'll let here here's a deal i'll put the entire dog outside ma how's that sound not good to them they want to stand in the AC and look outside yeah that's what my dogs like to do the last house i was at had that like there was like a sun room that i made my gym on the outside of the house so you went through one sliding door and then immediately another sliding door. And they wanted to sit in the AC with their head stuck out through the, I had this one of those magnetic closing like clear

things to save some AC and they would stick with their head out and their body in the AC and just watch. Just keep guard. My Pomeranian is on guard right now. He's in the living room on the back of the couch staring at the neighborhood. Anybody walks past, I'll know it. You'll know it because they'll all start screaming. My dog's out there with three legs chasing deer. It's like, would you just stop? Would you just settle down? I want you to rest. Combole-I built a nice little

chicken wire enclosure that's right out the window. So I just leave the window open all day long. So the cats can just climb out the window and they got like a little bed out there. It's just fenced in all sides. Yeah, they did. The little baby cages. Yeah. It was reckless. Well, I'm preparing for the baby. I thought I had tested on the cat first.

And I'm like, I guess, seem safe enough. Even in the 30s, someone had to be saying, what are you doing? The baby cage for the future. If you're patented lead paint. If you look at the video or you look at the picture, man, the black and white picture, I go, that looks like a pretty content baby. And it's a little fucking baby cage in the Manhattan skyline or whatever the fuck. Just eight out of its fucking radium-lined bottle.

Yeah. We make fun. but we're doing a lot of the same stuff now and we're doing it. We have to be. No, we're good. We're good now. We figured it all right. That microplastic thing was overblown because something about the testing equipment had like plastic was in itself and contaminated with plastic

and so there's reading. Oh, so it's not that bad. In one of those studies, I know what you're talking about. Responsed by Exxon, I believe them. There was shedding from the gloves the researcher was using. That's what it was. And that's what they used to make that claim that everyone was consuming a credit card worth of plastic in a I don't remember the given span but well the one that got me like concerned when they're like tea bags

are made of plastic and I go well that's obviously a bad idea that doesn't make any fucking sense yeah I don't like soap plastic and boiling water and be like ah this will be fine I drink a lot of tea but extra sleepy time tea not plastic organic bags you got yeah well they have like organic bags right I forgot they're made out of You can put paper ones obviously, right? Yeah.

I don't know though. They make sleepy time tea, put you to sleep, huh? Yeah, I drink extra sleepy time tea because it has Valerian root in there too. Does it really have two extras in it? Extra, extra sleepy time tea?

Well, no, I drink extra sleepy time. But I guess I do technically drink extra, extra sleepy time tea because I always double bag it. There it is. Because I have a 20 ounce big mug and I have an instant kettle. And so I just, electric kettle, just flip that thing on and then dump it in there every night, take it to my bedside table and sip that while I watch.

A little bit of a Valerian root in there? Got some Valerian root in there, very relaxing, very mellow. It is good stuff. It tastes pretty good. I like it. I've also been crushing whole milk recently. Got to get off that again. A whole bunch of it.

Been crushing the hole? Hell yeah, dude. Oh, Alton, you know that there's a cooking guy, Alton Brown, he makes YouTube videos now too. Yeah, I know him. Unwrapped. He was talking about how he eats his thin mints. I think it was for that show where they do your last meal. His was fantastic.

But he said that he doesn't drink whole milk. It's not fatty enough, he says, for Girl Scout cookies, half and half. He's like, I want a tall glass. Dude, that's intense. That's crazy. My man. I'm a lot full of thin mints. My man.

I bet that's amazing. I bet it's delicious. I've drank it straight half and half before. It's the richest. It's insane. I've never had it before. I'd never been so. As a kid,

because remember, they have those little like half and half things. So I remember I went with my family to old country buffet. Remember old country buffet? Oh, yeah. And then they had like the station where you can get yourself a coffee. And I'm like, what's this tiny little cup?

And then I like just pulled it open. I drank it and I went, oh my God, this is fucking incredible. And then my dad found me drinking. drinking like eight half and half cups. He's like, you're not supposed to fucking drink those. You're fat boy.

Jesus Christ. I'm like, it's really good. If you tried this, he's like, well, no. And then he drank one. He's like, well, it is really good. But no, he's don't drink fucking half an half. Ooh, that French vanilla hits. I must have been making coffee and put the cream and sugar in first.

And then just tried it a little bit. Oh, my gosh. That's overly good. I was hell of retarded as a kid. Ruining this whole thing. Like we yeah yeah One of the times I realized that I was like truly retarded was When I was a kid I loved cereal right and then after cereal you drink the milk from the cereal bowl and it tastes really good

And the reason it tastes really good is that sugary cereal has been sitting in it you know it's been mingling and absorbing all the sugar from the cereal And my retarded ass went why does milk taste so good from a bowl I would take a bowl and I would pour milk into it and drink it out of just a bowl and I was convinced in my head it tasted better that way based on my experience with cereal and then years later I went oh I'm stupid I'm like you're not a smart person

I figured that out right away yeah drinking the way I imagine like a prisoner in the Tower of London to have to drink it It's just better from the bowl. I've been having a real beverage conundrum, though, because they discontinued my prime energy drink. I was given Logan Paul.

So they were doing like a number of flavors. They've now consolidated down to like four shitty flavors. And also they're doing the big cans. But they were doing little cans. And they had this lemon lime prime energy, 10 calories, coconut water energy drink. I was buying cases and cases of it. And now I can't get it anymore and I can't find anything that tastes even remotely similar.

It's driving me nuts. Go to Gorilla Mind. Use code people. But pick one of there. I like the white cans. The white cans and the root beer are probably my favorite. I'll try it. I tried the orange monster.

That was okay. I don't know. The white monster is better than the orange monster. Why do I want an energy drink? Yeah. Well, I want a zero calorie. What do you call? carbonated beverage.

Well, yeah, it's a little pick-me-up. So is the caffeine the main reason, or are you just looking for a tasty beverage? I think it's a little of both. I think it's a... Because caffeine pills are very cheap on Amazon. Oh, yeah, I got... I should take... Maybe I should take it more often.

Just drink the soda you like and take a caffeine pill with it. Well, I don't like any diet... I used to like diet soda, but now, I don't know, like... I've lost my taste for it. It's weird. I don't understand. I get all people going like... Because I love Coca-Cola.

I had a Coca-Cola today. shouldn't have but i was at a restaurant i'm like yeah let me get a coke and then i get people and they go oh just drink coke zero it tastes exactly the same and whenever i drink coke zero i'm like no this tastes fucking like nothing like i can't taste it it's so weird i'm like is there something wrong with my taste buds that i can't taste that it literally tastes like nothing at all you're too desensitized you need that real sugar hit yeah i guess maybe i don't but here i don't drink like a lot of sugary soda really so i don't know right zero i i drink so much sprite zero yeah yeah That's a great soda.

Kyle, what do you do? I got my Mr. Pib Zero here. This is the best. I love these. You've given me eyes about Sprite Zero and then you're like, oh, I got PibX. It's fucking delicious. I showed you my PIP reserve.

I saw it, and it's astonishing. Yeah, I'm not running out anytime soon. If anyone has a leftover case of prime lemon lime, I'll pay any price. You don't understand how much I'm feet. I was like so addicted to that shit. It was so good. Is that the Jake Paul drink? Yeah.

It might not be Jake, though. I think it's the other Paul. It's one of the brothers and his black friend. Who's the other one? Logan's guy or something? Yeah, well, they have it because they have the sports drink, which I think is still selling okay, but the energy drink is apparently not.

Yeah, apparently back when you couldn't get it, like there was kind of a demand. Yeah. Driven by curiosity. than once people tried it, the demand dried up a little bit. I thought Prime was going to be like Gatorade or something, a product that lasted 20 plus years. You know what?

Took over all the market share is fucking Celsius. Celsius is crazy right now. The Celsius energy drinks are selling like a little stock tip veto right now. The Celsius stock's about to explode. All the Celsius executives are buying their own stock and like record numbers because they're like taking over 40% of the energy. energy drink market right now. Those are strong.

I've had a Celsius. They're like 12 ounces, but they have like 250 milligrams of caffeine or something like that. It's crazy to me that it's so popular because it's like usually with stuff like that it's like we have one, we have like a couple flavors, you know, and it's like concentrated. This is like we got every fucking flavor. There's like 8,000 flavors. And I go, well, is that like, are people, do people buy more than one flavor of a thing? I don't know.

I remember when bang was big and I bought a bang energy and didn't. I thought it was like, because it's the same size as a monster. And so I was like, it's probably about like a white monster. I'll try a different flavor. And I damn near had a fucking panic attack. 300 milligrams of caffeine. And I was drinking it like a soda. And I'm like pacing around my house.

Like, why am I so like almost scared? Like there's nothing wrong. Like what's going on? And I checked the can. Oh my God. I've had basically a quick one of like shotguning three. monsters. I think I've taken 500 milligrams before, like maybe 600. Like, like, I've taken big doses of caffeine to do cardio and you get a little, you get a little goofy on that much

caffeine. Like, like, it's, it starts, it's starting to feel like, like you took too much adderol. Like, it's, it's, it's, it's a lot of, like, like, five, six hundred milligrams of caffeine is a serious jolt of like, bless you. Like, I'm, you're trembling. You know, like, you're burning calories sitting there. It's, uh, oh yeah, it's not, you're just, You're like mentally tinny. That's what I like about Derek's energy drinks is they have that Thienine, I think it's called, which is something that like if you take it with caffeine,

it keeps that like kind of tinny, like anxious potentiality away. I like that, though. I want to be afraid. No. I'm working out. I want to tap in the primal. That's the energy drink. I'm working on it.

Fear. Yeah, I was going to say. My big man ancestor, like he's in his cave having, like, like nightmares so that he's always got enough adrenaline going that when that savor tooth tiger comes in he's ready to show it what fur so like i want that same sort of primal just scared out of my wits while i'm lifting that's unpleasant no i think that's the brand like i i i think the brand it's just fear the energy drink you know it just says fear and big

fucking letters i think primal energy do you remember they don't already have primal energy they might i don't know if i'm sure that's already being used by somebody You remember that pre-workout from like 2010 called Jacked, but the E was a three? Vaguely, maybe? And it's a lot of them now. Because I guess they were putting all sorts of nonsense in there because I remember like, I didn't do it. But some of my gym buddies at the time would crush that shit. It probably had a fendron in it.

A fedron is what you really want. Didn't Serge have an energy drink for a hot minute? Serge was an energy drink. An energy soda. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Surge was the shit.

Before Surge was jolt, I was just looking up. Like, jolt soda when I was a teenager, Jolt Cola. It was like this off the charts super caffeinated. Oh my God. Like, you dare to drink it sort of thing. It had 47 grams of caffeine or milligram or whatever it was. And but Red Bull is like 84 and not a 12 ounce and 8 ounce. It's crazy.

It doesn't rival today's energy drinks. We thought it was huge. Was jolt the one? Was it jolt or Serge that said in slanted letters on the can, twice the caffeine? Do you remember that? I'm going to look. Oh, I don't know. How it would say twice the caffeine on that.

It's like a bad mountain dew. Jolt. Jolt. It says all the sugar twice the caffeine. I knew that. That's pretty good slogan. Do you remember balls? Yeah.

Balls energy. And it had that really nice. textured bottle felt fancy when you bought that from the gas station. They still got that. It was glass. The only energy drinks I drink or red bull. They still got balls. I like regular Red Bull or sugar-free.

Like I don't want berry or watermelon. I tried the yellow. Summer edition. It was real good. I drink that white zero-calorie monster. Only when I'm driving like to stay awake. Apparently that's the boomer one. I didn't know. I thought it was the anorexic chick one.

I think it's OG. That's the best one. Of all the zeros, the white has to sell like triple what everything else does. Because I've had the orange. I've had the purple. I don't know how the purple's still in fucking stock. It's disgusting. Like white is the way to go.

It's by far the best. But when I buy it. Get a clip of white is the way to go for my White's supremacist collection, please. Thank you. The thing is it's like four or five dollars for a can at the gas station quickie mart. And I'm like, oh my gosh.

Like I can't believe I'm paying this much. I guess I'll pay. Folks for that. That'll keep you up. You pay anything when I'm that tired. Right. Yeah, you could just buy one of those. Make money with Marlborough smooth.

Caffeinated cigarettes. Ooh. Yeah. See, okay, dude, I'm still mad that the government got rid of four local back in the day where they're like, you can't have alcohol with caffeine in it. It might keep you up to keep drinking. And you're like, what are we doing here? Yeah, let us.

Give us the one fucking thing that's fun. It was a bananas amount of caffeine. because the 24 ounce four locos was like every one of those you had was like drinking an entire bottle of wine and like four coffees. Like the fact that we pretend like that was something scary

that people can't handle. But then in every bar in America we served Yeager bombs and vodka Red Bulls. Clearly caffeine and alcohol mixed together is not a problem. They just had a problem. problem that there was a product you could buy off a shelf that did it. Those are some of the most popular drinks I could think of.

Fonka Red Bulls are so they're like little shots. No. Yeah, you get like a like a Jimmy glass. I don't know what you call. Depends who's making it. Four inch tall glass. Sometimes it's about who's buying it that makes them mad. I've told the story before.

So real quick, my friend tried or co-worker at Cisco tried to invent Jello shots. That was his thing. Jellowshots existed before him, of course, but not a shelf-stable jello shot that you could put on a counter at room temperature that wouldn't turn into a liquid. So he was like, he was like, he had freshly printed MBA at University of Texas, and this is the business he's going to start

with this new knowledge of his shelf-stable jello shots. And the FDA or ATF, one of those, just kept coming at him again and again, like, ah, the font on your package isn't quite right. Nah, it says this, but we wanted to say a little bigger, a little sideways, we'll relocate whatever. And he's like, just give me all the changes you want. I'll make any change you want.

We just got to bring this thing to market. You're draining me here. And they're like, off the record, that's what we're trying to do. We think jello shots appeal to people under 21, and you'll never get us to approve this. We're going to keep coming back at you with changes. So when I heard whatever, four loco, like, maybe that's the same thing. Maybe that was the most popular drink in high school. Well, the problem is the whole purpose of jello.

shots is to sneak alcohol in the places it's not supposed to go in a family-friendly item. It is by its very nature kind of a bad thing. That's what the original guy that invented it, it was to sneak it onto a naval base for a party or something like that. He put his vodka into jello. It's a famous guy that did it. He's one of those stories where it's like a noted mathematician and musician who invented the jello shot.

That's literally the backstory. It's pretty cool. I think someone eventually made jello shots, like shelf stable jellow. outs and got it through the government. I don't know what he did that my co-worker didn't do. Is that just like an alcoholic like gummy at that point? I can't imagine how you get a shelf stable jello. I don't know exactly.

I should just was going to melt. Because they don't have shell. Well wait, can you get I guess you can get jello cups? No, they're in like the freezer section, right? When you go to the store. They're usually in the cooler. Yeah. For sure. Yeah, they're in a cooler. So I guess you could have him in the cooler at the but you can't have mine on like a shelf. No, you're right. It's definitely an underage thing. I don't think

as an adult I've ever had a jello shot. I've been in a party or something. Did you see Trump just fired the FDA guy or basically got him to resign? Oh, jello shots abound. Like a lot, yeah, basically. RFC Jr. Marty McCarrey resigned as commissioner of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Trump basically kind of forced him out because Trump, Trump's been getting in and good as he should. He's getting those fruit-flavored vapes back.

okay Americans need to be smoking strawberries we should be smoking mangoes this is the future there's no reason why we should not we need that child yeah it's delicious it's good shit dude if we're if we're the country of freedom you tell me I can't smoke a raspberry

then why am I on this fucking planet a couple of my friends acted like it was apocalyptic when the mango jewel it is a pocket it's not wrong I'm 100% with them It's more government fucking overreach. We're like, are you guys having fun?

Well, we have to shut it down for no reason. Because maybe, because one kid bought toxic fucking poison vape juice from a Chinese guy. And that's a lesson to not trust the Chinese, whichever American school child should learn anyway. So, yeah, we're maybe going to get fruit flavored. How are healthy is this stuff? It was the same thing you said, Woody,

where like the reason they got rid of the mango, because you can still buy the same pods. they got rid of the mango because they said it appealed to children. But they kept the what, like fucking nicotine flavor? Because they're like, well, you can still smoke the stuff. Tobacco flavor is all they want. Even I think in California, they got rid of the menthol. And like, I've heard black people, like, that's that's shit, took our menthols away.

They knew who they was fucking. That's when I knew Joe Biden was racist when he's like, I'm banning menthol cigarettes. And I go, coming down on the black man every single time. Yeah. I like them too. I always smoked menthol. I don't know why you wouldn't Yeah

They smell better Why wouldn't you want a minty cigarette? A minty taste You're my favorite for second-hand smoking Yeah That's fair Yeah mine too Yeah cigars

Cigar is bottom tier dude What? No cigars are talking to you For second-hand smoking Well let me back check Maybe it's about the quality of said cigar Because I was in a poker room one time In this bar in the back corner

On a 12 of us on a poker table Playing $500 buy-in Texas Hold'em and this cocksucker to my right, who was about 65, is smoking a stogie. Not a cigar. This was a bona fide stogi. And it's like coming unwrapped on itself.

And he's gnawed at the end until it's like big and wet and mushy. And he's just got it stuck in his gob. And it's just giving off this burnt diaper stink right there. And I'm smoking a cigarette just to create an aura of cigarette smoke. A cigarette smoke. Smoky warfare. Yes. Well, I want it to protect me.

I want his, maybe my smoke will combat his smoke and keep it out. It's a Patriot missile cigarette you're smoking. And I am dumb. Everybody was making little comments about it. You know, he's a grown man. He's sitting at the table. Nobody's going to make him put his cigarette out, but everybody,

or his cigar out, but everybody was like, the fuck you smoking, a dog shirt, a dog turd. Somebody said that right away. This guy sits down that owned a chain of barbecue joints. He's like, you smoking down there bill a doctor and at that point in my life

I think that was the funniest joke I'd ever have heard like off the cuff in public because we laughed so hard he was disgusting though do you think he was doing it as a mind game no he's just a dirty old man and give a fuck about anybody else that is the Occam's razor there

yeah yeah he's not the shitty guy but most of the time cigars smell all right if like you're around them. When I watch poker on TV, people are doing stupid shit just to annoy other people wearing their sunglasses upside down or something like that.

And I'm like, ah, it's the dick move, but I guess I get it. You're trying to be a dick. Yeah. I like the World Series of poker's going on this month. Like, girls, almost every girl who has them will get her big tities out. And I don't know what effect they might think it has

on their opponents. I'd love to hear their honest, like, because it's clearly strategy. Maybe they just want TV cameras because I tell you what, like whenever I'm watching, I watch like live Texas Holden poker that's being played not on like TV like on like on like streamed on the internet. Like there's a private poker room at a casino where it's like welcome to Bill's casino and I'm Bill. And today we're going to be watching a star studded group of players play a play $100,200 Texas Hold on. There's Rod and they, you know, they've got a little roster, maybe one or two of them you've heard of before. and there's always smoke and hot waitresses in there with camel toes and their tits out

and the chicks always have their tits out. I love it. Makes sense. And I've never seen anybody do anything in a poker table that I think would have bothered me except for the guys who were truly antagonistic, the ones who were like insulting. Like, what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? He doesn't know what he's going to do. Like you start like really shit talking them. I've seen people like want to fight multiple times. What would your thing? Actually, you could be like Kyle the Kazoo Myers. I was sounded the three pair horn. He sounded the kazoo.

And oh, no one's happy with that. Scared the shit out of Roger. You know, everyone seems to hate it, but he's just playing his game, you know? They should have all distractions

allowed poker table. I would watch that endlessly. Put a kazoo in your trigiamity. He can't touch anybody. That's the only rule, but you can just see the on fire. distract his opponents is before he plays

he always lights one of those firecracker worms and it grows in front of them and people would be so distracted I'd go is it ever going to end so you have to make your bet I know but look at this fucking thing she really fucked up when Tile in the middle of that turn

threw that handful of poppers under her those crackers right under her what are they called whips or something I forget whips Whippers.

Can you still sell those? Those also, like, technically a fire hazard. I remember my mom being like, don't throw them near the lawn. You're going to set the lawn on fire. I'm like, I don't think there's anything in those fucking things. Probably not. No. They make a little flash.

Like, there's a, they, whatever they're doing and they're making, you know, like a bright, explosive sort of mini fire. I bet they would start gas fumes or something like that. Well, you're in California. You probably can't have any fun. Yeah. Unless I'm a cop, then I can just shoot another cop. but in fairness

California does see the catch on fire a lot. Yeah, we're very good at that. Man, I dude, I hate to say it. I still kind of missed the fires. It was, it was a magical time. It was because I lived, dude, I lived like 20 minutes from where Mansionland was on

fire and I was like, oh man, I'm going to Mansion land to watch it burn down. And I just fucking, I have a stream. I went to one of the care hospitals. They like shut down and they had to get all the old folks out of it. And I was just watching that thing like it looked like fallout or some shit just the whole fucking thing was on fire and Gas mains were broken open and spinning into the sky

It's beautiful around those fires. I have to wonder no yeah ever all the all the I can't build though they who will not be named have been buying up property like crazy So hmm I don't know what's going on there I uh it was a video on your channel I watched and I didn't know you did this and I I looks like it's nine years old now. I went to check when you went to like a violent protest and you just kept offering really aggressive people, Pepsi. Yeah, that was after the, the Kendall Jenner advertisement. Dude, the timing was perfect. So that ad came out and she's like giving the cops and given protesters Pepsi. And then I'm like walking around my neighborhood and it's like Berkeley,

California, you know, there's going to be the right is showing up. But we're going to counter protest the right. And I'm like, oh, let's put it to the. the test. So I had a video where I just went there and I'm like, hey, Antifa kid, would you like a can of Pepsi? Surely this will unite the divide. And then a kid in a fucking mask and a fucking body armor just whips a can of Pepsi at the other guys. I'm like, ah, this is not working out at all. At some point, the cops, the cops like pulled me aside. They're like, you're handing out grenades. Stop. And I'm like, I'm trying to unite America, man. I don't fucking know. I did see you offer Pepsi to the cop. What is undoubtedly

a hot Pepsi like yeah that's the word they were warm Pepsi's I'm not gonna lie I think people got them in their hands and they're like I'm not drinking this I'm just gonna whip it at somebody that was one of those man that was back when everything was going like nuts I think it was because like

well what's the vice magazine guy Gavin McGinnis I think was supposed to it was like the week after Gavin McGinnis got like chased off a campus or something it like shown up to give a talk and you know and Tifa showed up and like bullied him out of there. So everybody was going nuts. And then I think six months later they had that Charlottesville thing.

And then it's like, all right, that era is over. No more protests. Jesus Christ, guys. And how long after that was you and Dick going and holding the like jokes are funny? That was actually, that must have been at least like four years later. That Pepsi thing was like the first thing that my channel like popped off was I was like a completely dead channel. And then I like, I'm like, ah, this would be funny.

I'll just run around with the GoPro and be retarded. And then I woke up to like, you know, I got like four million views and like news stations being like, oh, we had some video from on the ground. It seems things got crazy at the protest. I'm like, ah, I actually thought, like, dude, I actually thought, I'm like, did I film myself committing a crime by just handing people weapons at a protest? And I'm like, it's a soda. They can't get me on that. And I'm like, no, they're whipping them at each other's heads, man. It was not good.

That's funny. Yeah, that was a good. That was a good one. That was back when I... Dude, I did like a bunch of... I liked the protest because it's crazy. Like when the Black Lives Matter stuff was going on, I went to a couple of them.

And I'm just watching... And again, you know, it's terrible what happened or whatever. But it's also fun to just watch a bunch of black kids be like, let's take over this game stop and smash every window. And I'm like, oh, my God, they're just going for it. I was actually... The worst part was, dude, I would be filming it. And then everyone's looting.

And I'm like, ah, I'm live stream. I can't loot. I'll get in trouble. I had like a guy. He had like four bottles of wine because they were looting the liquor store. And he's like, you want a bottle of wine? I'm like, well, I do want a bottle of a line. But I'm man, I'm live right now streaming. I can't take one. So I missed out on all the fun looting of the situation. Everybody else got to do. If I'm being honest, like it's it looks like so much fun. It's probably a blast. It's incredible. I bet it's so thrilling. Like I know best buys really don't even have shit in them anymore, but like that's where I'd go. I'd want to. I'd want to. a Best Buy. Dude, I was driving around. I went to the protest, one of the Black Lives Matter ones, and then as I'm driving home, it had turned into, like, fucking Mad Max. I felt like I was on, like, one of those theme park rides, because I'm watching guy, I'm, like, driving past a shoe store, and there's guys jumping through the window

and, like, running with fucking boxes of shoes, and I'm like, this is fucking madness. And then I turned the corner in the liquor store guys are just bashing the windows in with a baseball bat. And I'm like, this is the best thrill ride ever. been on. I don't want to get off. But sadly we haven't had too much civil discourse. The civil discourse we've had has been muted in

in a comparison. Yeah. When's the last time we had a good old target looting? Because that seemed to be the place for a bit. Where when they talked about looting, it was always Target just getting fucked. Did you ever see the video the guy with the Legos

looting the target? No. Oh, dude, it's the best video ever. It's like a target in the middle of like, I don't know, Louisiana or Mississippi. And everyone's running out, you know, with fucking liquor and, like, you know, TVs or whatever. And there's just one nerdy white guy. And he's got his arms loaded up with Lego sets.

And he, like, looks directly at the camera. And he's like, uh, and he's, please. And he's like, that's my guy. That's my guy right there. He's going, oh, man, that Lego Death Star has been calling him for months. That was my time to shine. He's got an AT-A-T. I'm going to see if I can find it real quick.

Lego looters is like one of my favorites. I miss the Black Friday like stampedes where people would get hurt and stuff. Like that was always so fun to watch. I felt bad for the employees. What? Fuck it. Is that it? Is he bringing a hammer backwards?

He's breaking the self-checkout. He's bringing the self-check. Oh, and there's the yellow guy with the, with the Lego. The only white guy there. He's got his fucking. Exactly. Dude, look, they're breaking over, open the thing to steal the money out of the self-checkout. This guy's just going, Lego AT-AT, don't mind if I do.

I think he's just destroying. The planet of Huff. He knew there wasn't money inside the TV screen. Once you got the hammer, you know, what are you going to do, not smash the screen? Come on. Once you have, everything's a nail. There's a player of fun to it. That is what they say, yeah.

I mean, not even wearing a shirt to your own looting. Have you guys been following the SpaceX stuff? The IPO? Tomorrow, Elon Musk might be the end of the world. Might be the world's first trillionaire. Oh, wow. SpaceX is going public. And the valuation for that company, like based on the initial IPO set price of the stock, is 1.75 trillion.

Woo! Yes. And they changed the rules of NASDAQ to have it listed. in certain index funds. I think five days after it goes live. Normally it's much longer. Wait, really? I thought it was the opposite.

I thought they pushed it further back. So it's going to be, it's going to join the S&P after five days. Not that index fund. It's going to join. I know them by ticker symbol like QQQQ and some other one that's similar to it. These are tech like focused index funds. QQ is the NASDAQ.

Do I have this wrong? invests that's that's that the investco qqq trust oh that so that's the nasdaq 500 tracks nasdaq i think and there's another one that tracks net that's the nazdac 100 i guess qqq and then there's another one i've forgotten the ticker symbol for it that's a tech focused nasdaq index and these things are going to be like kind of forced to buy it a week later five days later or something like that and um and that'll be a ton of investment that goes into it because they buy like for example the hundred biggest company. This thing's 1.75 trillion. It's not profitable. When people hear SpaceX, they think the company that launches rockets. And that's kind of true. But what it is, you got a company

that launches rockets. Then you also have, what's their internet service call that's escaping new air? Starlink. Star Lake. And Starlink makes about enough money to offset how much money SpaceX, the rockets lose. And then you have this huge AI just drain on the company. the robots. I think the robots are Tesla actually. The promise of the promise of robots is what keeps Tesla stock

inflated. The promise of AI is what keeps SpaceX inflated where he's going to have these data centers in space supposedly making AI. So with minus SpaceX he's worth $300,350 million.

And his percentage of SpaceX, if that evaluation holds true is $744 billion. So we'll put him as well over trillionaire if that comes to fruition. And we find that tomorrow. As well as an 80% voting share, 85% of the voting power. I saw an article that like people are going to their banks to take out loans to buy SpaceX stock. And I'm really worried about like, I'm seeing a lot. lot of like people going listen you understand there's like really rich guys we've been holding the SpaceX for a long as time and they're just waiting for the first chance to be like oh i can dump it for 300 dollars a share sell it all so like who is left holding the bag we'll see if that valuation

is fucking nuts so man 1.75 trillion is that it yeah yeah i was like upset because when i heard they changed the rules to get it into the index funds i thought it would be the s mp 500 which is where i invest a lot but it won't be the s bf500 the company has to be public for a year it has to be profitable there's a bunch of rules that's going to keep it out of the s borg that protects you yes otherwise oh i agree yeah you go oh wait my s and p my fund that i'm holding which every you know how many millions of americans are holding s and p are all forced to buy SpaceX stock you know well they won't be right to hold it at least that would be an extremely speculative company that does not have any proven anything but it won't go into the smp 500 it'll go in

to some of these other funds. But it's interesting to me, when they say the system is rigged, people often lack specifics. Like, yeah, how? How did they rig this system against you? And then you're like, well, they changed the SEC rules as Elon Musk warmed up to President Trump so that his company could go public at a valuation of $1.75 trillion, then index funds would be forced to buy it. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, feels a little rigged.

has Musk talked to Trump ever since he went on Twitter and he said hey by the way Trump's a fucking PDF or whatever have they gotten back together and he's like I can't believe I said those goofy things about you I think so I haven't seen them together have they been together since then

we'll know this weekend I feel like this weekend if Elon is at the White House UFC event I think you're going to see the real inner circle who are who are wanting to be there in front of the cameras being Trump's friend yeah it's going to be whoever If you've stained the claw and everything on the White House lawn, it looks really good. Like, it looks way better than I thought it was going to look.

It looks classy. Like, they've got the lights on the white. The White House is in the background with the lights turned down low, which sort of has this golden glow. And then just, it's beautiful what they've built. The light is. If I told you there was a house with a guy who had 32 felonies, three baby mamas, and fights on the front yard, you would say it's classy?

You only drop the get shot all the time. part from the Reddit article you stole that from because you know it's cool. Facts. Oh, he's been cold. Yeah, it's a stolen joke and I forgot the shot of the part. Try to find one where the camera's a little closer to the action. I don't know what these pink photos are. The picture you showed me just didn't look like, I thought it looked fine. It just doesn't look like there's a lot of seating.

I don't see where the seating is. I find this all so weird, man. Remember they had the bicentennial. Remember the bicentennial? was a big event, you know, like I was not around for and I don't know. I assume none of you were either. But your parents were like, yeah, the bicentennial, it was cool,

you know, we celebrated America or whatever else. You go, ah, what are we going to do on the 250th? He's like, ah, we're going to punch the shit. Two guys are going to punch each other in Vanilla Ice is going to sing a song. Yeah, look at the. No, what do you can tell us about the bicentennial? He was three. Three?

Oh, yeah, good time. Was it cool? I'm like the Trump owned stock in UFC, and then he gets to put the UFC on the front yard of the white House. It just feels like yet another bit of Trump corruption. It's so low on the scale of corruption. Holy shit, that's a guy on the top.

Is that a guy on the top? Yeah, it's a guy. Yeah, he's setting it up, man. Ooh, ooh, it looks dangerous. Now, if they had mankind burst through the top of that thing, like a hell in the cell situation, then we're talking. I want Sting to come down, like, rappelling. With a baseball bat on the fucking wild.

See, it should have, if it was WWE on the front long, I'd be like, yes. Now, this is my America. I'd be embarrassed by WWE. I would be so embarrassed if WWU was on the front line was on the south of the White House. And I guess, like, I separate my dislike for Trump and the Israel's influence stuff and the pedophilia and the evil and the rithing us off and the making billions of dollars. All that. I separate that from the sport I love so much and the opportunity that this is for them. I would be very conflicted. If I were a professional athlete in the UFC. I would be conflicted if I were asked to be on this card because on one hand, I have the strong feelings about Trump and what he's done and the lies and the stealing and the

children and all that stuff and Israel. But on the other hand, oh my God, the sport that is my life that I live and breathe is on the world stage this weekend. And they want me to be one of the 16 guys that steps into that octagon, me. They're saying a billion people are going to see this. That's a lot. That's a lot. Those are slap numbers. Those are power slap numbers if you ask me. But it's going to be huge. It's going to be tens of millions. And it's America's birthday.

250th fucking anniversary. Maybe you'll fight some foreigner. Wait, was America's birthday? Trump's birthday? I thought it was the 4th of July. You know, we celebrate Christmas on December 25th or whatever. Who's to say? Wait, when is the thing?

When is the fight? It's on Trump's birthday. The UFC Freedom 250 will be June 14th. Oh, I thought it was before July 4th. yeah it's June 14 I thought it was a July 4th thing I'm an idiot they should make the bison or the it it is buy and a half centennial they don't have to take the cage down they can have another fight I think they should do a history he said that he said that he's like maybe we'll leave it up it's beautiful it's like can we do like a history he called it the american

ipel tower yeah well they should do a history of American fisticuffs like I want a blenkin guy coming out fucking yeah oh how about your boy oh you know and then you move on to the fucking Greco-Roman wrestling of the 30s and go through all the stages. That's what I want. A Teddy Roosevelt look alike. He seemed like a bit of a brawler.

The whole 30s is what he said. No, he said the 030s like 2,000 years ago. No, my team would be that Trump is wearing Roman purple robes, like an emperor, and he's wearing like a kingly crown, if you will, and

he's given the thumbs up. And like, Once you've got somebody pinned and they're submitted, you look up to Trump to see what happens now. And he's giving everybody the thumbs up. And everybody's like, of course, the thumbs up. Then finally gives the thumbs down on somebody. And they just put them down right. Secret Service comes in. And then they have like four national.

That's the end of Sean Strickland. God. This is what I want to see. We need an iron cheek type character representing Iran. It's a cult. In the octagon. We need bad guys. Yeah.

You just don't appreciate show. that's not true this is just like this guy and I know he's obese and I half-ass believe the rumors that he shits himself on the regular mostly a joke but it's happened at least once it's happened more than it happens to us I'll say that I guarantee it but that picture does not yeah go come on put him in the put him in the armor in the robe let him get up there

you don't want to the only thing you don't want to see Kyle is him putting around in there right what do you mean by Putining around? And when Putin went out there and then like, the worst dangles I've ever seen in my life and the goal had to be like, oh, fuck. And like, get out of the way at the last second to make sure he could score.

No, I don't want, if I would like it in the ring, though. I wouldn't get out there if I could skate that. I would like him to step into the ring and let's say a few words. Maybe, you know, if he introduced the fighters, that'd be incredible. I know he's, I don't think he's going to take part in any way whatsoever, ever, but like, I'd like it if he did. I like WWE sprinkled into my UFC. Just a little,

is that professional wrestling? Yeah, it is. That is a lot of UFC seemingly. Overpower it, and it's just so overpowering, but mixed the way you've gotten this ragu. Ooh, this UFC ragu is delicious. That's how I like my UFC. I like that Josh Hawket guy.

He, I think it's a bit when he did his interview, this week. He's doing his character called Downvato and he's wearing like a ski mask down to here like a solo, like all the way down to his nose. And he tells bad stand-up jokes and he bombs

like in a cringy way. But I think it's an act because he's going like, uh, or I got another one. I, I slept with this one torta and she was so big when I woke up. She was flowing over both sides of the bed.

And oh, tough crowd, tough crowd, getting up there and bombing intentionally is hilarious in its own way. Like, that is fun. At first I was like, ooh, they don't like your jokes. This must be like real press or something. And then I was like, oh, my God, this is a bit. There's so much awkwardness that he's needlessly injecting into this. Like, he's making it bad on purpose is what it felt like.

Not that he's some poet to begin with. He's already kind of like silly. I love him. I think he's great. I enjoyed the WWE shit he brings to it. I was going to tell you my parlay for the fights, but it's all the favorites. It's all the favorites. That's not very risky.

Well, it's not meant to be risky. It's what I truly believe is going to happen. I think this is a card that they put together that's like, just pick the A side in your parlay and you're going to be 85, 90% risk. Any sure things? I want to get some bets in here. Absolutely. I bet on Spencer Pratt doing becoming mayor and that didn't work out. Lost your ass on that one.

I was like, come on. you get a white guy to run things for once. And they're like, no, that black lady would burn the city down. We want her back. I'm like, all right. You bet on him becoming mayor? You know, at least making it to the next round. I thought I bought in at a layer where I'm like,

I'm not going to ride this thing to the end, but if he goes up a couple points, okay. Oh, dude, my buddy, last week, he was like, he's from L.A., and so he was following that on his phone. And he was like, damn it, they're stealing this election. again. No, they're not stealing it.

He was like, well, they sent it. Because I guess all the mail-in ballots initially before the end of voting came in in favor of Karen Bass or something Bass, whoever is the leader. And then as soon as the voting ended and Spencer Pratt was in second place, because only the

final two get to go on to the real election, suddenly all the mail-in votes switched to favoring the third place lady in a huge margin. And he was ranting to me about that. And I'm like, regardless, bro, like, it's LA. The Republicans are saying the same thing.

The stolen election. And like, do you have any proof of that? This is Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House. And he's like, no, but we've got a feeling. You can just feel it when an election's been stolen. There's this feeling that we get. And we have. Well, when like 45% of the mail-in ballots go to the leader,

and then as soon as that's solidified, they all switch to the third-place person that they want to take place of the second-place person, that's weird like why would they but is it from the mail-in ballots like usually the discrepancy show up because a certain type of voter you know votes you know mails in their vote and a certain type of voter goes to the polls

and actually does it sure but it was all mail-in voters and the mail-in votes I've heard that the third place guy did extra well in mail-in but the Democrats always do better in the mail-in voting it's called the red mirage where they kind of do well

the ability to write your name before the votes are counted and then once the mailing get counted, you get the full results. The Republicans always call that voter fraud, but it's really just counting the votes. Nail-in voting is ridiculous. That's crazy. You shouldn't do that. Go there and fucking vote if you're going to do it. But I'm saying that all the majority of mail-in votes were coming in for the head, Democrat. I heard you. Yeah. And then they all started coming in majority for the third place one until she passed the second place guy, which is a little seedy as far as just looking at the

Yeah, he didn't even make the runoff. God damn it. Yeah. That's the, I don't really care either way. I don't live in L.A. And there's no way that we all. We all live in L.A. Taylor, I hate to tell you this. We determine the rest of the country. No, I think.

Hollywood, Hollywood, D.C., New York. With our murderous cops. Yeah. You know, you know, Trump did a good job on that pool. it looks nicer than it did. The man can build a pool. Why was everybody spazzing about that? That's such a ridiculous thing to spaz about.

Well, you know, Trump's one of those guys where he does anything. Because he kept lying about it. Yeah, yeah, they kept asking him. At first, his lie morphed, like, rapidly as new evidences came out against him. And at first, he was like, oh, yeah, I got the best deal on this pool because I know the best pool guys. And they cut me a Trump deal. It's going to be like $3 million.

And then one and a half million, this is an original claim. And by the end, he's like, I don't know those guys. Those are just guys that do pools, I guess, or something. And it's like 12 or 14 million or something. They weren't even pool people. They specialized in like refurbishing pipes and putting a liner on the inside of it. Like they don't do pools. They got to do no big contract.

How much harder is it to do a pool, though? I trust a pipe guy to do a pool. Come on. I feel like a pool would be easier. The trouble is the lie, right? He says, I called my pool guy, who I've worked with many times in the hotels that I've built. And I got a special deal for one and a half million. And then it eventually swells to 13 or 16, 18 million. I've heard all of it. And it's not even a pool guy. It's not a guy he knew. Everything he said was just him lying through his team. The pool looks nice, though. Billy, how are you? Nice to me. Good, good, good. How we doing? Good. Solid. We're talking about how nice that pool in D.C. looks now that it's not full of fraud. and shit. Is it done? How does it look?

It looks nice. They haven't filled it in with water yet, I think. They have to let it like baking the sun, right? That's the tail of the tail of the tail is when you get the water in the pool. Well, that's why they got away. Everybody's criticizing it ahead of time. Yeah, they're jumping the gun. Are you going to skateboard in it before you fill it with water? Oh, man, Trump should have done that. He should have had a skateboard competition too. That is what he would do. He'd be like, I know a lot of skateboarders, the best supporters. That's why I'm excited about the UFC fight is I'm like, well, this just paves the way for more stunts. You know, like, could he build a ramp going over the White House and a guy's got to jump the White House?

Like, who doesn't want to see that? There's all sorts of things that are going to have. Van Margera back in the match. Lincoln Memorial, can you grind all the way down? You know, we'll set up a rail from Lincoln's dick all the way down on the floor and we're going to see which of America's skateboarders can make it all the way. I think I don't even know how long that rail is Trump's grind for freedom

Is it just gonna be doing all the two of the unknown soldier Nobody else shows up It's just vanilla ice skateboarding That he seems to be the go-to For them where they're like Who are we gonna get you know if you're gonna do that Like just get a band

Don't bring vanilla ice out there No they did everybody got everybody else quit They had a bunch of people to do the America 250 thing Everybody dropped out except vanilla ice who said the fuck else am I doing? Like, leave me. I'm dropping out. I'm 35

and he hasn't been relevant in my entire life. How insane is it that America made it 250 years and at the end of it all our greatest musical act is vanilla, like that's the guy

who made it to the top of the America's food chain. Who would you want? Who would? Fat pregnant Rihanna out there. Is that what you want? I'd rather vanilla ice than Rihanna. All right?

I'm not. Why does he sings ice ice, baby and dances, I'm into that. Okay? I've only done the one thing, but I'm telling you, that song is a banger. If he was good enough for Teenage Mutinitinals too, he's good enough for 250 years of America. The ninja rap endures. We know it.

We'll never go anywhere. I don't know what that is. Real quick, guys. I'm glad Billy's here. Billy is my co-host for my new podcast we've been doing. It's called Ristic Study Hall, and it's for all you magic the gathering nerds out there. So if you're into the magic cards, me and Billy every week talk about. Yeah, yeah.

We're really, we're hitting all. And I'm getting so many fan letters from girls about how wet they are for our, they're going, when you two fat fuckers talk about the state of the magic, the gathering landscape, I can't get enough. You can tap my man at any time. well right now they got the uh they're doing a marvel superheroes is the next set and uh you get all your iron man are you into that or are you against that because no i'm against it i'm totally against it good good then i can talk shit um i'm not a super magic player i've i've been playing for maybe

on and off for like 10 years or something taylor introduced it to me i really like it live magic is my favorite and then i've played on all the websites and invested way too much money and um i like it's a perfect game it's a It's a perfect game just like communism is a perfect political system. When you put humans in charge of it and let it get corrupted by money grubbing

fox inserting every IP with no concern for power creep and no concern for like your player base is already invested. It's bullshit. It's like are you fake? It's real bad. It feels like communism power creep drops out of something

before they take it apart and sell it for parts. It's upsetting. It's upsetting. There's no way I'm buying Marvel cards. The thing that's crazy is that when they first started being like we're going to put other IPs in there, like they did like Godzilla. And we're like, I don't know about this. And they did like Transformers.

I don't fucking do that. And then they did Lord of the Rings and everybody was totally cool with it. Because we're like, well, it's a bunch of wizards, guys with swords, magic spells. I was going to ask that. Yeah, the Lord of the Rings set was for a long time the best selling magic set until Final Fantasy

showed up and just gave us more good shit guys with fucking magic spells guys with swords like we just want guys who play magic we're like okay I've been playing this game it's about guys with big swords if you know hard fantasy guys getting their heads ripped off and vampires and demons and goblins

okay it all works if there was a god of war set you might accept that they did a god of war set they did a god of war uh well a series of promo cards yeah and they're not terrible so you can get a cratos card and it's fine uh if they just stuck to like fantasy french

I'm like I in my head I'm like dude if they ever do like a dark souls or an Eldon ring set it's just gonna say that dude I would lose all my money I would spend thousands of dollars on Eldon ring cards actually it'd be very into a 40k set I'd be they did a 40k commander decks and they're great and they dude the the Warhammer decks sold

out you can't get them anymore because the cards were great the flavor was like totally on point for magic is the emperor card they go hey we know how much you guys like Lord of the Rings we know how much you like Final Fantasy here's Avatar the last Airbender and you're like what the car why of what for what fucking reason here's ninja turtles here's ninja turtles well part of the problem is that they signed some sort of deal with paramount so in paramount is they did the sponge bob cards which that's those are promo cards so we're going to ignore them but then they did a whole

avatar set they did a whole TMNT set we got star trek coming up at the end of the year and you're like it just doesn't fit man did you see a shatner shitting on his own magic card and it was fucking hilarious. No. Oh, dude, you got to look up the picture. So they have, they, they did the promo where they're like, we're doing a Star Trek set. It's very exciting. And here's the Captain Kirk card.

It's Captain Kirk boldly going. And he's sitting in the captain's chair. And again, the title of the card is boldly going. And he's kind of like straining like, eh, eh. Okay. And you're like, okay. It looks like Captain Kirk's taking a fucking. He's making a captain's log right now.

Okay. I like it because that, look, I've seen. too much Star Trek. This is accurate. He did that all the time. Yeah, but dude, don't call the card boldly going because then I'm like, dude, he's taking a fucking ducu. What are you talking about here? He's leaning forward in his chair and he's looking at the view screen.

He's about to, he's focused on the battle. He's about to give some important commands. He does this move, this body language screams, I'm about to give a command that matters. I don't want to see him laid back with his legs crossed, relax him. I think the bigger problem, though, is like, you know, when you make a Marvel set,

You don't got to, like, consult with Spider-Man ahead of time. Okay, but if you're putting out a Star Trek set, you should go, hey, Shatner, we made a card based on you. I hope you can play along or whatever. Because somebody showed it to him on Twitter, and they're like, hey, did you know you had a magic card? He goes, no, I didn't know how to magic card. Why didn't look like I'm taking a shit? And then he also said it looks like AI.

And you're like, man, that is not a good endorsement for the fucking set. If the star is saying it looks like AI artwork. Magic art fucking blows now. It's gotten. Yeah, there you go. How dare you? That's the captain. Well, he's boldly going. Well, the insanity is that Wizards right.

Dude, like, I bought Hasbro's stock. It's gone to the moon because whenever they do their earnings, they go, listen, we sold a couple monopoly sets. We sold a couple fucking, I don't know, dolls or whatever. And then we made endless billions of dollars from magic cards. It's like 75% of Hasbro's business. Square Enix, the guys who make Final Fantasy, they did their quarterly earnings, you know, where they got to tell shareholders how they did.

And they go, listen, I know you're going to get excited about these numbers, but it's literally nothing we did. We didn't sell any extra video games. We didn't sell anything. It's all magic card money, this like huge surplus. I only play arena now. Well, dude, they have this endless money printer and you're like, you look at Pokemon cards, and everybody's getting excited because they look great.

Like, even you pull like a basic rare out of a Pokemon pack, you're like, oh, that's cool fucking art and it looks badass. and you look at the magic cards and they look like absolute fucking dog biscuits man it's crazy how bad it's gotten have never looked that cool because they're just cartoons magic cards like old magic cards used to be like ruthless

yeah it would be like a brutally violent scene and it'd be called like you know heart stealer and it would be some demon like ripping the the body out of some you know ghoul or whatever it was sick now they don't do another thing I'm really worried about is I think there's been some sort of mandate to PG-13 the hell out of the brand.

So I went to MagicCon at the big magic convention in Vegas, and I was hanging out, like getting a bunch of my card signed by the artists. And one of them was the guy who drew a lily on to the veil. He should have handed out deodorant like they were Pepsi cans. You remember that guy who went to the Magic tournament, and he was kneeling behind everyone's butt crack and getting a picture of him with all the butt cracks at the thing? That's ancient lore at this point. He got like 100 photos.

I mean, anytime he saw an open butt crack. he just knelt behind them and posed. And they, some dude, they hired a guy to make a magic card and they didn't realize it until later. He drew like an elephant warrior doing the same pose as the guy posing next to the butt crack. And Wizards just never commented on it. You're like,

they're never working with that guy again. That was like the top Reddit post for a very long time. Yeah. Nice. But, uh, so I talked to the guy and he goes, yeah,

back in the day, he drew a card Lilliana of the veil or whatever. And dude, It's this vampire Plainswalker chick, and she's fucking smoking hot. She has huge tits that are just like hanging out. She's ready to kick your ass and cast a magic spell. And he goes, it's crazy because like my notes back then, because they send the artist's notes. They're like, you got to make her sexier, man.

Like this is the premier card. She's got to look fucking like you want to fuck her or whatever. And then like years later, you know, he's doing the same art for the company. And they go, hey, listen, you know, we know how you drew stuff in the past, but you're going to have to tone it down. You know, we can't have that anymore. And he goes, Cocksucker, you're the ones who told me to try it that way. I didn't try, like, you told me to make it look like that.

Is Lillianna fat now? Dude, the new set, they have a new Lillianna, and she looks like a fucking teenage boy. She has lost eight cup sizes. It's fucking insanity. Oh, it's not a day. I go, where are the tits on this fucking vampire bra? This makes no sense.

She's completely flat-chested. They're taking the sexy out. They're taking the blood out. Because, again, they're doing TMNT, and, The Last Airbender and Marvel. Like, I'm worried it's becoming a kid-friendly, sanitized. Is that actually the player base? Because, like...

No. No. It's one of those things where, like, executives get involved. And what they don't understand is they go, well, we want to bring in... One of the problems you have with magic is you go to the demographics and it goes, well, this is selling the guys in their 30s, right? And they go, well, how do we bring in, you know, a younger demographic? And here's why marketers are returning.

card is. They go, well, kids love, you know, TMNT and whatever else, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, you want to position yourself as your older brother's card game, okay, where you're a kid and you're playing with Pokemon cards and you're playing Minecraft or whatever else. And then one room over, your older brother has fucking naked ladies on the walls and he's playing Halo and he's shooting people's heads off. Like, if you want to bring kids into magic, you have to go, yeah, it's a little more mature. It's a little more edgy. It's got blood and decapitation and whatever else. And marketers don't get that.

They don't get like there's an appeal to young men of like, oh man, that's like a little intense. Like my mom probably doesn't want me playing this game. It's got demonic shit all over it. Like they lean into all the wrong shit. So I think they're really shooting themselves in the foot by making it this colorful kids game.

It's driving me crazy. I agree. I don't like it. Magic used to, well, I won't say cool because it's never been a cool thing to do. It was the right kind of uncool. It was the right kind of uncool. It's a good way to do it.

They used to be super violent cards, super sexy cards. And now all the new ones. That's why I've lost in all my interest in new magic. Because everything I see is like, do you want the new Iron Man card? And it's like, no. If I were playing against someone in MTG Arena and they played Iron Man, it would ruin it for me. Like I don't know. Well, I hope they're seeing it, man.

Like the Spider-Man set was a huge does. like it just came out and everyone's like what are these fucking spider-man cards these suck and i think this new marvel set that comes out what does it come out in like a week billy i'm actually seeing people cracking packs already yeah it's the the pre-release starts next friday not this friday the friday after i think this marvel set's gonna be like it'll look it's still magic cards like it'll still sell but again they did that final fantasy set and it just sold so good that you're like just do more of this man get the elden franchise get fucking game of thrones

like any swords and sorcery franchise would be huge especially why would you get Marvel now like dude Marvel was played out like three years ago you know and Marvel's also not a thing like I can go as I said the other day what makes Final Fantasy exciting is like I can't go to Target and buy Final Fantasy bed sheets

like it's kind of an exclusive franchise that you don't just see fucking everywhere you go I would buy Final Fantasy I would if they put Tifa's big knock on bed sheets, I would get them instantly. His knocker pillow cover? Maybe the body pillow. Not sheets, though.

That's silly. The sheets would get stained a little too quickly. I agree. That's going to sour the date. That's going to sour that date up right quick. She sees your Final Fantasy 7 sheets. Silly Taylor thinks there's dates involved.

Girls aren't allowed to play Magic, Taylor. God damn it. Get them out of there. Yeah. dude i went to gencon 2006 or 2000 i think it was 2006 what's gen con gen con is a place where cool guys go to play trading card games and and it's a place where alpha males go to congregate money okay that's why i never heard of it's like a masculinity conference basically was it d and d based originally or what was it i think originally that was all they had at the time there was d and d there was in a giant place in indianapolis um and it It was D&D, Magic the Gathering, and I went there to play the Lord of the Rings trading card game. It's 15 years old.

And that's where after I lost in the quarterfinals or whatever, I went to a different table. And this kindly black man taught me to play Magic the Gathering. And so he kind of introduced that. I should never have sat down with them. You know, I lost. I should never have sat down with that man. And that resulted in me losing $20,000. It resulted in me losing thousands of dollars.

Yeah. But even there, like when I would walk through the magic area, it wasn't a great smell. Like there, and this was before the memes or anything, it was before I was on any sort of social media, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook. None of that was around. And I remember thinking, like, these guys, like, need to shower. These guys are gross.

Like, what the fuck is this? And it kind of was eye-opening to be like, this is the group you're a part of. You've been to a concert when the bathroom is just full of piss on the floor. Like you've been to a girl's house when she maybe hasn't washed and you still want to go play around with it. There's, there's, there's, there's icky everywhere. It's what's worth getting your hands dirty for something. That's the smell of strategy, Taylor.

Those guys are locked in. Okay. They don't have time to bathe. The goblin and the elf are going to war and who will come out on top. That strategic smell is overwhelming. That's strategic sweat, pouring down. their face and they go, all right, I could play my instant, but then the creature

will come through the battlefield. Well, then these guys were fucking Alexander the Great. I thought that was a mean. I didn't think it was real no, it's real. It was that, you went there, both of you were there. That was Max Prime we went to in Boston.

That was 2011 or something. It was on these escalators that took you down to like the main floor of the convention. And there was a moment when you descended into another climate. Like, you literally at the top it smelled fine like like like mall air and then when you descended

into the fog that was being created down there it was like whoa that's a punch in the face of of like mass B-O and it was like the running joke it was my conversation starter the whole weekend like I would talk to a I would walk up to those booth babes and I'd be like is that smell

you there's got to be we got to normalize at the convention man there's just got to be like the old spice fucking defragracizing booth or just like as you're walking through it should be like those missed fucking things they have

you know or you just when you walk through the arch it just fumigates everybody I saw it get sprayed one time at a game stop midnight release for Halo 3 there was a it was packed in there there was just obviously a ton of video game nerds in this one game stop

and there was a stinky guy just and he smelled really, really bad. He smelled so bad you could identify him. It's right here. This is it. And the guy that ran the shop, he like started walking in the room sort of randomly spraying Lysol.

And then when he got next to the guy, he like air struck him. He like sprayed the area all of him and let it rain down on him. And he gave me a look like, oh, wow. Oh man. That guy's problem.

Yeah. Now you're going to smell like fucking rainforest or whatever. Yeah. Well, we normalize the hand sanitized. stations. Can't you just have like the fucking aerosol cans is a fucking chained up? You know that's not the problem. They need a bath with soap followed by deodorant with aluminum in it.

Otherwise, big ass is going to stink this whole place up. And also it's like everyone there is staying at a hotel. The soap is like they give you soap for free. It's there. You in one of those hotel rooms with like a lot of dudes for that.

Oh and Jen Conn 05. No, my my, no, no, no. I was 15. I was talking about tax prime. Oh, I was in a hotel room with a couple guys, but it wasn't a big deal. All of us showered. Yeah, that's fair. I just remember there was one hotel room with like a lot of dudes in there.

I think Blade might have been in there. There was like an Xbox. There's like two-liter mountain. I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Who's the Canadian guy from a wealthy family? His father made like pallets for Pepsi or something. Techno might have been in his name.

Oh, it was I try hard. I think you're right. I think he rented a room and then allowed a lot of people to stay there. That was cool. I liked him. Yeah, yeah, he's super cool. Yeah, that was his way to network and make friends in the community was buying. He's like, oh, y'all, everyone needs a place to stay,

eh? Well, I'm a millionaire. And he had those Canadian cigarettes where he showed me the package, and even back then it had pictures of fetuses on it. Mouth cancer. Yeah, and I was like, this is upsetting. You should just let people smoke. You shouldn't have

to look at this. they were Hey Billy I was trying to figure something out Were you on Lowell Cow with Wings of Redemption Or was he already gone at that point I was I was on with him We met up at Fat Camp I was there when he was there with

Kelly and the table incident You were you at the table incident I was right there yeah I was in the I was in the TV room with Kelly And we were watching And then shit was going down And she ran out So I followed her out.

And then everything went down. I was right. I was the next stop after Kelly when Wings was running towards Kame. So like if she hadn't have stopped him, I would have had to. And he would have ran me over too. He was he was fuming. Like he had the red in the eyes and everything. He was pissed.

Wait, what set him off? I forget. He said something on the episode where he like, he revealed. some behind the scenes storyline stuff live and then keem like was like oh come on him out chewed him out and then he just he kept trying to like work his way out of it without like owning that yeah i fucked up and then keem was no no fuck that and it was pushing him further so it got to a point where it was like they were they were pushing each other they were they were fighting

hold on i got wings was exposing a storyline is fake is that what was happening yeah there was uh this girl Becky who was doing local queens and she flew in as a surprise and he said something about her not being a surprise or something like that. There were so many people that were flubbing that week and that was the culmination of it all and Keen was just past and then then they had their mono a man to man moment. So Keen was mad at Wings. Wings wouldn't want to admit that he was wrong basically and then because neither of them wanted to do it was hard yeah it was hard

wings I think knew he was wrong but it was it was hard to to process it live in the moment when he's he did fuck up but also he's like he wanted an out and like keem wouldn't give it to him where he's like yeah I fucked up and keem's like no you got to really fucking own

it basically you know yeah yeah yeah so they were really fucking yeah this was a great that's a fucking a painting right there what are you coming us one of those classic works of art I wasn't here for this someone feed that into AI and get a renaissance painting out of it I think he'd get something pretty good he is lucky to escape with his life that's an undefeated professional fighter we're talking about that's true he

could have been feasted upon yeah I was here seconds after this I was in the room watching this and then we ran out so they went basically fired but then he came back and then left again. Is that how it went? Yeah, he, he left. And then it was a weird process to bring him back. The fans wanted him back. When he finally did come back, the magic wasn't there. They couldn't reconnect. And I was actually on the last Walcow Live episode with Wings. It was just me and him hosting because Boogie was on a like a vacation in L.A. And Keem wasn't on the show. It was me and Wings. And he was just like, I don't know where he's like, yeah, this is my last episode, dude. I'm done with this. I'm like, what?

because he posted he posted a thing recently where he's like i'm not streaming anymore like he's just like quitting the internet and i'm like so are you what are you just going to be homeless like does wings make money doing anything at this point does anyone know streaming i know he's gonna is he gonna keep streaming i would guess if he's leaving the internet that would be no but i also like he even in his own statement that what he read he he he left it open where he's like who's to say if I come back. Yeah. Well, that means that he's coming back.

That's so slice of the internet, right? Like on YouTube? Like, what are the cliches, right? The teary apology video. I don't expect that from wings. The leaving and coming back. Like, people do this all the time. It sounded like he was really upset about the way they're offline trolling him.

It wasn't the online stuff. It was the offline stuff. And that's fair. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want offline. It's pretty extreme. Yeah. Has he been like going after other people?

Yeah. He does DoorDash. Because I played games with him. It's been over a year now. But like I was streaming and we were like, we played a co-op game. And that he talked about how he sometimes does DoorDash and Uber Eats and stuff like that. In that giant truck? Is that lucrative?

No. I don't know what car he used. In the backwoods out of the middle of nowhere, driving around everywhere to bring somebody some fajitas. If anything, like he might be in a good place for DoorDash because he's in a. Myrtle Beach, right? No. And so there could be people in their like rented houses being like, bring me pizzas. What do you say no? Because

he's 40, he's like 40 minutes away in Conway. He's in a Hicktown, he's in a hicktown like a good ways from town. Like, like no. He could drive to the like center of everything though and just operate

there for a couple hours if you wanted to. It's harder than I thought. It's 30 minutes or 27 minutes away, according to Google. Yeah, I've seen him do it before And he was like Around his house It looked like like green trees everywhere And fields with cows in him and shit

I remember when I visited him the first time Like I was like oh okay About 20 minutes from Wings house And there was literally a civil war reenactment Going on in the field To my life Jesus Christ This is actually further north than I live

Jesus Did you stop and see who won? Oh you know the South wins You know the South wins It turns out the South is rising again this week They'll just pick a battle That the South did win every time

You know they're not reenacting Gettysburg They just keep reenacting until they win one Oh that would be easy Didn't the South win a fuck ton of battles In the first couple years Yeah Oh so you think that you think they just pick South win battles

A good battles An early civil war reenacted We don't do the late Civil War We don't do Gettysburg brother Go somewhere else Tom you have to fight for the Union this week. God damn it. I was the winning last week. All the all the worst guys. I was civil war reenactment. Yeah, it looks super lame to me. I don't get it. I remember I talked to a guy who did it. They came to our high school and did it. And then like I saw him outside in the real world. I was with my dad shooting shotguns. And I was like, holy shit, that's the guy who does that's the general. That's the general over there. He commands a fake Confederate Army dad. That's like hilarious. And the guy came and

talk to us and he's like talking to my dad and he's like you should join up with us we're part of a group called the sons of confederate veterans and i tell you what you look back in your lineage we all serve we all serve yeah we're all part of it shouldn't it be like the great great grandsons of confederate veterans like yeah exactly exactly if that if that look who cares who cares there's some state house that has like a captured confederate flag and those groups keep writing to them and they go hey uh you know you should really return that flag, you know, to show respect. And they're like, we want it. What do you mean?

No, you don't get it back. That's ours. Yeah, if you want our flag, you wouldn't give it back to us, assholes. I'm like, that's pretty fair. Then you got to send us a cool flag to take this spot in the museum. Yeah, exactly. Otherwise, you know, no, takes these backsies. Maybe we'll burn the flag. What about that?

Don't do that. And then I saw people and they're like, well, you know, soldiers in World War II, they took the Japanese flags. And then years later, they returned them to the Japanese. and I go, that's wrong too. That's your flag. Don't give it back to those fucking bastards. They bombed our harbor. That's ours. They ballooned

those fucking kids. Even that flag. It should be a remembrance day for that picnic family. Did we give Santa Ana his fake leg back? I know that was a King of the Hill plot line, but did we actually give his leg back? If we did, it was some weak piece of shit that

did it. Illinois refuses to return famous Mexican generals wooden leg. This is from 2016. So no, we did not give the leg back. It's ours. Good. And we're keeping it. Yeah, that's what happens when you lose a war. We take your fucking leg. The victors

the lollano. And that means the fake legs. Well, guys, I got to quickly step out again. Thankfully, I got another fat guy to sub in, so it'll barely be like he even missed me. I do want to remind you guys, if you're into Magic the Gathering and you want to hear two fat guys

obsessively argue about it, check out Ristic Study Hall on YouTube where me and Billy have a good time. Say the name again. It got garbled. It's not your fault. Ristic study hall on YouTube. Check it out.

Thanks guys. I love you. Bye-bye. And Woody, I look forward to seeing you fighting other YouTubers whose names I won't remember or understand it all. Let me come from a cop. Woody or Crunchmaster. Do we know the theme? Were you guys like, was it like a

Like a water polo or 50 OG YouTubers doing a bunch of Different competitions. Any spelling? Any spelling tests? Nope. I want to just get these guys to spell because I think half of them are functionally illiterate. If we ever had a YouTube wide spelling bee, I think it would be fascinating.

I'm down. Let's do it, dude. Let's organize it. Taylor would be towards the top. I would be a first round exit. I think it would be a good show. It would be. We used to have spelling bees on this show, on PGA.

We'd have like White Boy and only use me blade face off in spelling fee. That's good content. Yeah, but then Taylor joined and he can actually spell, so it's not fun. Oh, Taylor's ridiculous with the spelling. When you have two guys with sixth grade reading levels, like have a spelling, spelling bee. Conscience is a mountain so paramount that they dare not. Like six, like six letter words are getting, getting through, you know? Like, the only's not catching too many.

It's rough. Why is there a G in light? Yeah, that was almost the level. But yeah, Taylor spells stuff. He has no business spelling, like a guest's last name. What? That's not even a word. He just saw it once.

You just have to know what country their name or originates in. And then you can kind of put it together. You're coming off kind of gay. Zach, delete that. Delete that. Pride month spelling B. Yeah, that would be good. Pride month spelling.

What would you spell? Gay is pretty easy. I'm in. Spell spilis. Cipolis is tough. H-I-V, wait. H-I-V is easy. Yeah.

So YPH. Yeah. S Y P. Okay. Yeah. Of course you know. Yes. You had it.

Yeah, I've spelled that one a time or two. You saw it on the doctor's note. Did you see Blade get pepper sprayed last month? No. What happened? He was, so he lives in the same area as me. And he was up the road from me.

Live streaming with some guys and they were talking to these prostitutes, the women of the night. And, they were bothering them and Blaine was pretty drunk. And I think maybe one of them pulled up in a car, one of their pimps pulled up in a car and just showered him with pepper spray. And he was out of it. And it was wild because I didn't know.

I wasn't watching live. I heard about it a few days later. But like they randomly drove by me after he got sprayed. I was like driving to Starbucks because it's my neighborhood. So I was out and about when it happened. I missed all the action. But they were, they lit him up.

He was crying. He was, but he was already out of it before it happened because he enjoys his beverages. He likes that Yeager. Here's the video. Oh, let me take a quick peek at this. Yeah, I think he called her a ninja bitch. Yeah.

You know, that's not beyond the pale of what I would expect from him. Oh, it's only 52 seconds. Perfect. He's standing there. Donation hype. Someone throws him three bucks. She's got a big ass. Some big booty lady seems to,

be displeased with his behavior. That's some nice hose. This is a good area you live in. He's laying on top of this good area you live in. You got a gallon. You got a gallon over there by the firestone.

Wait, is this Orange County? Who sprayed him? The lady in the white pants with the big ass. Did she? Yes. I'm rewinding. I don't think you're going to see particulate

in the night air. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's not visible. At seven seconds going, he calls her about it. And she sprays him. It's less than a two-second reaction. She's right on it. Yeah.

You know, he, every once in a while, I'll see clips of him come across my feed. And it's, uh, it's, uh, if we thought it was rough four years ago, it's very rough. I saw a clip of him and he had his toes removed, obviously, um, from Betus. and the clip was him taking his shoe off and his foot is like very poorly bandaged. Like he's clearly not rebandaging it the way he should. And because it smells, because it's infected, I saw him take a stick of like deodorant

and rub it on the top of his toes and then be like, a bada bing like that's problem solved. It's like still somehow better than the Magic the Gathering players. He'd fit right in, actually. That's where he should go out. And I saw another one of he was out. I guess he lives with his mom in an old folks home or some sort of retirement care community.

And he was like passed out and falling over while cops who were called because I guess he was creating a ruckus. I don't know what the ruckus was. But the cop even says like your foot stinks. like something's wrong like something something needs to be done like as but he's like black out and falling all over the place

and so he's not receptive to such a statement rough very very sad was only he's being blade on the lull podcast as well he was a guest he wasn't an official host I think he's banned from YouTube as an official

host or participant he can't have a channel he's getting paid from I guess legally that's where I was told by Keem Star. I don't know. Who knows? I was wondering if he or Wings were like more reliable for showing up on time for the podcast. Wings. Wings was always there.

Was he? Yeah. Wings was really good. Wings. Not the show. Not the show. Well, he was, he was always there because Keem would hit up the guys and have them do the pre-show meeting like four hours before the show. They'd all be there.

And sometimes Wings wouldn't be there for that. But he was, He was there by the time showtime hit. Okay. Well, I'm thankful for Wings' inability to show up on time. It's really panned out over the last 12, 13 years whenever it's been. That clip I linked is my all-time favorite Blake clip. It's when he passed out drunk and they painted his face with like craft paint instead of face paint.

And they made him look like Pepe the Frog. And then he wakes up from his drunken stup. and he rages about it and like attacks him, but he's so drunk that he can't really do damage. He's been nerfed. And so like, it's just a big drunk Pepe the frog raging, which only makes it funnier

because the paint job is so good and so, it's so good. Like that and that video straight mustard face. That one or two of the times I've laughed at the hardest when that black kid's asleep, and they come in with the biggest bottle of mustard that you can get possible, I guess. And they just start,

like spray in it in his face mustard and and he's passed out probably from like drunk or something so it takes him so long to get up and defend himself from the musterding that he's got and he's over his eyes by the time he gets up and there's just more mustard until he's like a gallon of mustard on his skin when i knew blade he had it together at least on the outside you know like I knew he could drink too much because his alcohol tolerance was off the scales. But you wouldn't know. It would just kind of chill, charismatic, like, easy to get along with. And now I see him, like the tailor-linked one that we can't show.

But he's, he has policemen talking to him. And he kind of falls and passes out in the middle of a sentence. Yeah. That's troubling. It's sad to see him fall. I was, I was hanging out with him, I don't know, four or five years ago. before one of the nights where he was getting drunk. And he was sober.

He woke up. I went picked up in Bellevue to go take him to whatever they were doing their stream. And he was surprisingly coherent. And it didn't seem like he was like needing the alcohol or wanting the alcohol. It was like going to the point where he was about to go do the stream. It felt like someone who was preparing to get ready for work. It was so odd to watch. Because he was very calm, cool, talking sports.

Very just like the blade, you probably knew still. recently, but then it was like, okay, time to put on the uniform. And he starts getting drunk and he blacks out. And it's like total, total switch. Dan. And he picked the worst possible drink of choice. Like Yeagermeister, I know we've talked about it before. I don't remember what the sugar content of that is, but it's bananas.

It's insane. It's good stuff for if you're going to have one or two. But, you know, it tastes like, If you're going to have a Jaeger bomb, but like, nobody drinks the Jaeger bombs all night. That's like a thing that your buddy buys and then bullies you into. I saw him make a lot of Yeager bombs. He would, that was his thing. He drank a lot of Yeager bombs.

What is it? Dr. Pepper and Yeager, is that what it is? Red Bull. Okay. Yeager itself is fucking gross. It tastes like liquorish. It's really sugary liquor. I like liquorish, though.

What's wrong? That's a real. Taylor, you just can't. handle your sugar. I'm up there with blade. I bet I could I bet I could fucking bounce that guy in a licorice eating contest. I wish so much you had a shooter

of Yeager right now that you can make. Mmm. Cream! Oh, mm. It's really good. It's disgusting. It's one of the worst. I bet. What liquor do you like?

I don't like any liquors. I mean, I guess vodka, like, because you can dilute vodka in a ton of seltzer water and stuff. It doesn't taste like much. But if you're going to drink something straight, I would rather have something like Yeager that's got flavored and sugar to mask the alcohol like burns and flavor.

Or like a peach snobs. Yeah. Sure. Schnapps is a little weak. I want like a high content, a high strength like a vodka, like an 80 proof. If you're drinking straight,

schnops is like, actually, I don't even know what kind of alcohol schnaps is. It's probably 35% or something like that. The core. But you wouldn't want to drink any of that stuff straight. If you drink Yeager's straight like a shot of it, you can feel how thick it is because of the amount of sugar. Like it's not like a liquid.

Like it's almost. It's syrupy. Yeah, it's syrupy. Oh, yeah. Schnapps is super weak. It's like 30 to 50 proof. Yeah. So it's like strong as fuck.

It's like strong wine. Or wait, no. Pepperman schnapps is what alcoholic drink before they drive home. Yeah. Yeah. So it's 40% alcohol. Okay. Well, I mean, the Russian.

kind of got that hard alcohol thing figured out. You think so? Make the least offensive thing of all time and then just mix it with good tasting things. Bada bing. I don't know that they do a lot of mixing over there. You think they're just sipping on cups of vodka? They take shots of vodka and they chase it with pickles.

Yes, they do. My man knows. Yeah. Those little gherkins. Yeah. Ooh, I love a girkin. A little pickle chaser takes the edge of it. My Russian buddy put the bobbyn.

of vodka. It was honey pepper vodka and a jar of gherkins. And we sat there and drank the whole, we ate most of that jar of pickles, but we drank that whole bottle of vodka. Did you like the gherkins? I liked it all.

I even like that. It's Nimirov, Nimerov, honey pepper, vodka. That shit was delicious. That was a good vodka. Pickles are the only thing I like so far that we've talked about the last five minutes.

And the licorice. You can do a pickle shot. That's Jeremy. drink of choice that I took him to that fucking fancy ass Fleming's Steakhouse or whatever and he ordered a pickle shot and the waiter's at Fleming's. At Fleming's

at the table, not even at the bar. What a dick, Ed. The guy's taking beverage orders and like, nobody else ordered alcohol and he's like, I'll have a pickle shot in a Miller light. And it's like, the guy's like, a pickle shot, sir?

He's like, and Jeremy goes into like, are you too stupid to understand what a pickle shot is? That's his reaction. And I'm so embarrassed for him sitting there. Like he didn't even know how to order properly. Like we all got, you know,

you get your steak and your side and your fucking salad and some shrooms or whatever. I want a bowl of lobster macaroni, a miller lat and a pickle shot. And the guy's like, oh, that's the side items are. Big Bo! Locked your macaroni.

Bring me four. He's like, he's like, what is? a pickle shot. And he's like, it's a shot of vodka and a shot of pickle juice and you do them together. What's so hard about that? And the guy's like, we've got thread and butter pickles. Will that do? It'll do. I'm just sitting there like, oh my God. So it's not a combined drink? You just a chaser. I've only had them as a combined thing. He did it as a chaser. He sat there and they gave, well, maybe it's because of the way they served it to him. I'd never seen or heard of a fickle shot before personally at that time in my life. But it was served to him as a shot of vodka and a little glass. And a little glass.

cup of pickle juice and he did shoot them right at the table at the fancy ass restaurant it was like that scene in blues brothers where they're causing a scene to make the made o d like come back to the band it was so ridiculous who orders a shot at a steakhouse they asked with a pickle chaser he got shit-faced that is absolutely shit-faced there i don't know what i was paying for those beers there's no telling oh was he re-upping on the pickle enalamation. Oh yeah.

He got shit-faced at dinner. Like absolutely wasted. Like he had six or eight drinks. Did he have a steak? He had a bowl of lobster macaroni, five or six Miller lights or bud lights or something. And then he had at least two or three pickle shots. And he was so drunk.

Oh, he's a good guy at heart. But I'll tell you what, he would annoy the fuck out of you. He's the guy in the group that, so easy to pick on because he just keeps giving you the opportunity to do it with his foolishness and his just I don't know what a nice word would be, but he's a

moron. I remember Lozahn was just that's not it. Lozahn and were bullied his shit out of it one time. I guess I was part of it too. I bullied Jeremy because I knew Lozon would protect me. We all bullied Jeremy.

We were in Chicago and we were in some suburb of Chicago, but it was like a nice one-way streets and like a restaurant district. And Jeremy was intimidated by this form of driving. He'd never been in a situation like this. And he's driving the truck. And we are all nitpicking his driving. And he's getting so upset.

He is getting like, I'm like, he's going to fight or cry. He's either going to fight or cry. Like, it's coming, though. Better not fight. That's fair enough. It's not fun to have someone nitpicking your driving. especially in like a high stress city situation. But his driving was warranting it.

Like he was missing turn after turn. He was going crazy slow. Like someone in front of him would be going 10 and he'd just stay in that lane. You know, like it warranted a little like, dude, go around. We all know how to do this. Yeah. Mentally, I was giving him too much credit because I was assuming it was like he wasn't parallel parking correctly the first time. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no. He was failing to get us to our destination. He kept getting intimidated, I think, maybe by the parking in the one-way restaurant district. Sure. And we have to go around the block again. I remember, like, going around the block and over the speed humps and thinking, like, man, they're giving him what for? They're picking on Jeremy. Does it make it harder for him to focus at that point?

He drives worse than? Oh, yeah. Big time. Him and Joe Lozahn wrestled at the paintball event. I thought Jeremy held his on pretty well. I don't remember it. It was fun to watch. They went after it in the grass out there.

And then some high school wrestling kid wrestled with one of you. I don't know. Did you wrestle one of those kids? Me? The high school like wrestling champ kid that showed up? Yes, I did. He wrestled the child. You guillotined him, I think.

I did. Yeah. That's a, no, he was a high school graduate. He was 18. Well, he, his little feet were kicking. He had finished high school.

He was 18 years old. and he was on like the state champion wrestling team. But wrestlers always lead with their head when they do takedowns because there's no submissions in wrestling. So if you do any jits, it's like the first thing you pick up on. Like if his head will be a gift. And that's what happened. I've seen Woody Gia team.

A couple people. Maybe a dozen kids. Me. Whenever that comes up about like how many 12-year-olds you could beat up, I'm like, I know Woody can take at least three in a row. At least seven. Woody would quip everybody. Woody a thousand and no versus

Woody literally has cat. Versus, yeah, yeah. Did he have tapped after favorite YouTuber if he used to like. I think I Renee could choke to you and it took forever. Taylor, what happened was I went for a takedown on Taylor and I had like his leg.

But Taylor was so fucking strong. You just grabbed my belly and immobilized me. And he didn't have any offense because he wasn't a jitzy guy and I was just stuck there for a while until I don't know what happened I think we ended up on the bed of the hotel room or something and I got a rear naked choke did we did but taylor was a stubborn one because he's strong as an ox I just remember white boy's feet kicking and you're over there backed up against the air I was mad at him yeah double bet you had him over there by the AC I had him in a guillotine and then I arched my back and picked his feet up off the ground by his throat

because he had been telling untruths about me on YouTube and I I remember seeing him in that position and feeling alarmed. Where I was like, I guess the body is more durable than I thought it was. I felt, you know, there's a scene in karate kid where Mr. Miyagi is like, you've proved your point. You don't have to go back out there. And he's like, no, I'll never feel centered. I'll never feel peace unless I go out there and do it.

That was when my piece arrived. White boy had been. Five. White boy had been lying about me on the internet and people were buying it. And that was when I felt like we were even. Well, you got even. Meanwhile, like when I came in to fight you,

it was me and Bash were getting trashed in the hallway for hours. And I walked in and I'm like, I'll do it. Oh, you're still strong. Still strong. Total mistake. Were you ever a fighter, Billy? I used to do pro wrestling. Nice.

What would you name? I went by Kingpin. Okay. When I was a little kid, I watched the Spider-Man cartoons. I like Kingpin. He's a big fat guy. But my character was more of a retired bowler. So I was a two-sport athlete.

He couldn't deal with the exertion anymore. I used to go up to Canada to train because there was nothing going on in Seattle at the time. And there was some guys that would do jiu-jitsu. in the same training facility and they try and roll with me I didn't know shit but like I'm so big I'm like it was 6-3 probably 500 pounds

they'd try and get me down and I would just like roll and lay on top of them like they can't do that you're 6-3 500 uh yeah yeah I think I've shrunk a little now I'm old man so I think I'm like 6-2 but

and shrunk in that way and I've grown a little more I'm fat now. I'm fat. So I float between, yeah, yeah. Now I've been fat. I got a little too comfortable being big and now I'm just huge. Have you thought about like the Wagobe or something like that?

You must get this from time to time. I keep trying to get on it. They put me on some generic and it didn't really work. And I keep trying to get on one of the good ones. And I haven't hit one of the good ones yet. So I don't know why it's taking so long to process everything. and maybe what's the uh what's the snack of choice yes oh oh ah if i'm if i'm being if i'm trying to be good or i'm trying to know if you're just feasting brother the one you don't like

talking about well honestly lately i've been hitting up uh seattle's got this new pizza thing going where it's like sourdough crust and uh it's like these there's this place called moto pizza It's sourdough and they put weird toppings on it. They have like a Korean, or not Korean, Filipino, a beef adobeau. They have like a pork belly pizza. They have all these different pizzas.

It's a nice, it sounds fantastic. Detroit style, thick sourdough crust with a good toppings, good cheese. It's a hit. It's about 20 bucks after 7 p.m. with two Coke zeros.

I've got polish a pizza on occasion. On occasion. This is not my. weakness. You need to hit me with some trail mix or candy or something. That's what I'm thirst for. If I'm doing trail mix, I'm just doing nuts, right?

I can relate. Is this it? Odd pizza. Yeah, this is their self-serve size. The big size is like two of these, basically. So, yeah, one of these squares. That looks pretty fucking good. That looks fantastic. There's a place in Atlanta called Jets that

has a really similar vibe. And it's delicious. Yeah, Jets. Yeah, Jets. That's Detroit style, like the deep dish with the Christy signs. It's like fried in a cast iron pan. Yeah, like a square or a square actually. Yeah, you got to the good edges on it.

Very good. Yeah, they're really crispy. It's almost like a smash burger. They like snap off like potato chips or something. At the same time, though, just going to like a Brazilian Rodizio like Fogo de Chau. Something like that was the guys come to your table with a sword with a meat on it and cut you meat until you tell them to stop. Like that's my type of gluttony. Yeah, trying to make it lose money.

Like my goal tonight is to walk out with a profit. The owner's sweating when you walk in. I'm the liability, right? You get one of me and you probably get like 10 families with kids and it levels out. Yeah. You're a lost leader. What's the in the house weakness? What's your in the house weakness?

Oh, yeah. See, probably like chips. or something yeah give me some uh give me some chips i'm i'll polish off some doritos or some chitos or something like that pretty easily i try to keep them out of the house because i don't need it but then even you do liquid calories like you know no i'm an unsweetened iced tea guy i used to i grew up on milk i think that's how i got so big my pops would always get brand new gallons of milk and we'd go through like a gallon of milk a day almost oh i would just smash milk and before i knew it i was just giant ox and

I try not to do calories at all in liquid anymore it's unsweetened iced tea maybe a Coke zero but I'm still I'm still holding up my end of the market I'm a big milk is fantastic I used to love me some milk I would sit there with a big family size bag of Doritos from Costco and about a half a gallon of milk and just make cheese soup in my stomach it was not okay

Blue or red. Blue or red. Oh, red. Red, red Doritos. The blue are good. Blue are good, but the red are better. Okay. I stop at one. Yeah, right? We're going confetti. Four them all in one bowl.

Yeah, I never drank milk with, like, savory foods. To me, milk is the accompaniment for cake or pie or something like that. Cookies. Yeah. Anything that sweet, especially cake. Like, if I'm going to actually eat some births, take cake. I'm going to get a glass of milk. Every time. That would have been a good

hill to die on, but milk was just everything when I was a kid. My dad was like, you're going to get your milk. Got to get your milk. Going to sleep, get some milk. I like milk. I had cereal today. Milk's awesome. I drank a fuck ton of milk as a kid. It was constantly out there.

And then at one point, I don't remember when in my childhood, my mom decided to switch to skim. It was my 9-11. Were you breastfed, like, as a child? I was breastfed as a child, yeah. I think that's a good thing, like, to be titty-fed as a little kid.

Probably should stop by the time you're old enough to talk about it. What's the right time to stop? When you're critiquing it. No. Now, is that just society putting it silly, like, whims upon us? Like, in reality, if you think about it, if you were a bodybuilder, wouldn't you want some breast milk? Like isn't it just full of like fat and all sorts of like healthy things?

The colostrum, the first discharge from a fresh load of breast milk. Yeah. It's got a ton of protein, ton of stuff in it. Yeah, you should be getting colostrum shots instead of pickle shots. I don't know if you need the vodka with it, but I bet it's tasty. I had an idea one time for a breast milk beverage for the working man. Tilt. And Tilt.

It never took off. that's sad to me greatly. The world wasn't ready. Up our ass about the tilk. Yeah. It's Trump's America now. You can push Tilk in 2026. I think we can get a green light.

Trump will allow that. I guess that's up to RFK. How does that? You know, RFC. He seems to be more interesting. My milk is full of stem cells. There's not a hell here. A pro-grown man.

Then a teddy full of milk. The only thing that cat fixes eating bad pussy. Chachabit says you should breastfeed until you're three or four. If there were no society rules, that'd be it. Apparently, the overwhelming majority in nutrition comes from food at that point, but you still get benefits in terms of like, didn't say vaccine, but like, you know, immunities. Yeah. If the kid can ask for it concisely, it's too long.

if the kids like pop it out like I need to feast I was three when I stopped and I heard I only stopped because my sister wasn't into it because she was younger than me by like 14 months so when she stopped they just cut me off too like no no little sister's done you can't have any more so I could have another year by Chad GPT's definition I'm gonna call my mom up and see if we can't catch up hey you owe me a year it's good thinking it's good thinking I like it I like it I got a year of tilt My mom watches the show, so it's hard to make jokes like this. Oh, yes. My mom will probably find this. Yeah, it makes sense. Like, it seems like the breastfed kids are bigger than the other kids. I wonder if you fed a woman only like bananas if, you know, the breast milk would take on a banana. You're turning into a ninja foodie blender?

I'll tell you what I'm pretty confident. If you gave her asparagus, it would take on. bad. We're not doing that. No, I want to treat her like one of those Spanish pigs that they butcher for Ibero ham. Some wagging. Mama milk.

They eat nothing but acorns, what he's nothing but acorns and sugar cubes. And they get sweet and delicious. I wonder on strawberries and pineapples. I don't know if that's good with milk, though. It's what they do for cum. Yeah, pineapple. Yeah, but I think cum is starting at such a low bar for flavor

that you've got to hit it with some potent, fruity flavors. On the other hand I like strawberry milk I like banana milk too Banana milk's like the second Oh get the hell out of here Right behind chocolate globally

The Koreans they can't get enough I'm taking enough of the Koreans do They're doing their own thing over there Do they love banana milk over there They're all about it Banana milk? Yeah That's a thing banana milk

Yeah Korea It's like the second It's one of the most popular milk flavors in the world I don't like it No I can't tell if you're treating me I think he's being I think he's saying for true.

I just don't know if I was. Seven of them, Japan. It's a real thing. So you wonder if you could just feed a lady bananas and then get banana milk effectively. Yeah, like a who cow creamery. I think of course you could. Like if pigs eating acorns and sweet treats makes them an apricots and whatever, like makes them delicious. Why wouldn't a woman eating a bunch of bananas make her milk a little banana-ish?

because we're animals we are animals we are why wouldn't it I don't know I just don't know how titty milk works I Tilk was was just

getting its feet on the ground We have to bring back from under government There's so many options now We're gonna have Wagyu Fed tilk bars If you can make breast milk Extra fatty

Like make it like heavy cream Ooh I'd like to whip some See that's the kind of stuff I'd like to experiment We'd like take titty milk and whip it into a whipped cream and use it as a dessert topping. Yeah, I bet it's fine. Ooh, or cheese? Have you even thought of the cheeses, Taylor? I haven't even thought of the cheeses.

Taylor, I count on you to think of the cheeses. I should have thought of the cheese. Oh, my God, I never considered that you could make a cheddar out of a woman. Could we make a smoked brass milk gutta? Mm. Yeah, it'd be all creamy and complex. I want that titty milk mozzarella where it looks like the mozzarella is bleeding. Oh, what is titty milk bleeding?

A little moots. That would be fantastic. You see they thought out some kind of an ice man and they found some yeast in his gut and then they used that yeast to make beer and they're drinking the fucking beer. We shouldn't do these things.

I feel like that's tempting God. We're in Jurassic Park. We need to keep that under wraps. I'm glad we got scientists doing all sorts of nonsense. I'm glad we're not all just focused on like global warming and cancer that we got a whole bunch of goofballs out there just getting up to hijinks like it's Scooby-Doo.

I do actually like that. I want them researching every corner of the world, not just the useful things. That's what Epstein was doing with him, right? He had them cloning Britney Spears and all this weird stuff. You look in those files? Was he just joking? Was he just joking?

Speaking to Epstein, like some stuff. There was some weird. jokes that lead themselves to bizarre global conspiracies, but something that's for a fact, they're having children walk out with the fighters for these UFC fights for some reason. Really? Are they, are they little fighters? Like, no, they're little children. They're having little boys come out.

Are they their own kids? No. Are they trying to set up some sort of fucking Greece thing? Greece thing? Like ancient Greece, where the little boys were, you know. Oh, oh, there's a word for that. What's your little boy like that's assigned to you as a warrior? It's probably there's got to be a Greek word.

It was some basically a squire, but with additional requirements. Squire with privileges. Yeah. Yeah. And what I understand, it would mostly be like oral and digital stuff, though, Tate. You're getting the wrong idea. Okay. Yeah, Tara, I don't know what you were thinking.

Taylor, when you say it that way, it sounds bad. When you hear it in the original Greek, it just rolls off the tongue. and you're, oh, okay. Amorchalite. Morcalite. Oh, okay. That doesn't sound like pedophile slave at all. That sounds kind of smart.

They were just gay as hell back then, dude. I think we've all actually. I don't even think back then. There's the funny joke where it's like the Greeks invented sex and then the Romans discovered you could do it with women. Like, where it's like, yeah, the Greeks were, they were an odd. culture. They had wonderful discoveries in philosophy, Western civilization, intellect, state

building, state craft, I guess, all that. And then they also were like, bring me, that was a great monologue Aristotle. And he's like, I know, bring me my boy. Once you speed run survival, everything's so easy. You just start thinking of weird stuff you could do now. We've conquered the bears, the lions, the dinosaurs, if they, you know, existed when we did, which is... They did. It's a discussion we could have. But once you, once you survived everything, then you're like, okay, I'm alive, I'm bored. Let's start sniffing butts.

That's what they were into. And one of my favorite things about Greek philosophy looking through, like, because it is crazy that Socrates taught Plato who taught Aristotle, like, for those three to be so closely linked is bananas. But also the thing about Socrates, I don't know if you guys know, is he refused to write anything down. And so they'd be like, that's incredible, Socrates. Are you going to record that? And he'd be like, it's for the birds. I'm not, I'm not writing anything down. And so he basically made Aristotle write all of his shit down for years. And I think that that was a little bit of laziness on his part where he masqueraded as being like, I'm such a sophist.

that I don't need. They probably used a fucking chisel back then. It was hard work to write something down. Oh, this was what was a couple thousand B.C.? When did we figure out the quill and ink? Wouldn't have been a quill. It probably would have been some terrible charcoal pen, right? Oh, let's see.

When was the quill and ink invented? That's, that's, I don't know. Chircle sounds like it'd be a pencil. Yeah. Yeah, it was just a big fat pencil that wrote ugly. Like, yeah. That would write on stone and everything pretty easily. Well, the Chinese seem to have been doing it since like 2,700 before Christ,

but Spain figured it out in the year 600. Wait, no, that's when they figured out the actual quill pen, though. Right? Is that not correct? Like the quill feather pen was invented in 600 Spain? Never mind. I thought they were a step ahead. Yeah, they were just like,

they were just cutting their fingers and, rubbing them on paper before that. I didn't know what to do. It's a bloody affair. He's just going to wipe your ass. You get a little extra on there. You're right on the wall. Let me erase that. And I think that I think Homer, like the Odyssey

Iliad guy, was a thousand or maybe 800 years before Socrates. Think about that. That was almost That was almost like 3,000 years BC, right? Yeah, if he existed. That's pretty bananas. I think we should give him credit for existing.

I don't think they believe Sun Tzu actually existed either. They think it's just like a collaboration of teachings and stuff from various Chinese generals that were condensed. And these are the writings of Sun Tzu. If China didn't want us to think a lot of their history was silly billy nonsense, they shouldn't lie about those terracotta warriors. What do they lie about? They are way younger. than they said they were. Way young.

But they know the emperor that wanted them built because he was the guy who drank mercury and stuff for his help. They know what, but they dated the terracotta warriors and they are much more recent

than what was claimed initially. Were they made as like a tourist thing the way the Shaolin Temple was in the 70s? Well, I don't think they're making. I'm getting this through Taylor. No, you know,

you can tell us, I'm telling the truth because I have no dog in this fight. I don't care. I don't care how old. You heard me say that the Chinese invented the pen, 27 or BC, and you were like, and then you heard that Spain did it like 1,500 years ago

was not even, I think you were little inferiority from the, no, no, no, no. I think before now, I go. Yeah, you look a little swarthy. There's no telling what kind of a much you are. The thing that's ridiculous, I think I'm a... I think you'd have been in a camp in my day. I think you'd have been swinging a hammer and getting your head shaved and de-laust and such.

I would have been a good hammer swinger. True. We wouldn't give you the hammer. We'll give you something soft you couldn't hit anybody. I would have led the rebellion. I would have got those boys out of there. It would have been like this fucking Irish piece of shit is trying to fuck with us. St. Louis made in their hammers.

True. What did you find? Kyle. It says 2,200 years old, according to the BBC. The massive collection of life-size clay soldiers was crafted between 221 and 209 BC. They were buried alongside Quinn Shi Huang, the first emperor of China to protect him in the afterlife. I think I've heard about that guy in particular that he was fascinated with mercury and its longevity-giving powers that he thought it might possess and he would drink liquid mercury. And I've also heard that there are supposedly mercury pool traps in the terracotta army dig site because it hasn't been excavated fully at all.

There's a lot more to excavate there. According to Google AI overview, which we know never makes mistakes. Yeah. It says the terracotta army dates back to 210 BC. Yeah, that's what I've said. So that's way less than the thousand. of years prior that they that was initially claimed. I've always heard that it was that emperor, that was like the first emperor who was the mercury drinking guy. And I've always heard about the Mercury Indiana Jones style traps that supposedly existed in the site.

Well, let me just hear different because I remember at some point hearing that they were like 5,000 or 6,000 years old. Yeah, I don't know anything about that. I don't know much about ancient China at all. I just know that they invented a lot of the stuff that seems important. important to invent a long time ago, like black powder and paper. And maybe noodles, the Italians may have an argument about that. I feel like noodles are one of those things that must have cropped up in lots of places. Like, there's no way one person found out noodles. And then they

went somewhere else. And they were like, oh, my God, we can do this with it also. Like, they would, have done their own noodle shit. I like that you put it up there with a gunpowder, though, and paper. the noodles fucking important if you look at like yeah like you know noodles and pasta in general how else do we get lobster mac

without noodles that's right that's true that's right yeah noodles is pretty sick I don't know what else what's your favorite pasta what I'm a

ooh uh masticholi I like fettuccini like a good fettuccini the expensive one you buy that's in those little nests I like that stuff a lot

I like a good fetuccine alfredo. Okay. It's so fattening though, if you've ever made it yourself. They're like, now great half a pound of Parmesan cheese into the pan. Oh, okay. That seems delicious. They're like, now pour eight ounces of heavy cream into the pot. You're like, well, that seems like a lot.

Now cook it down a little until it thickens and stir in a knob of butter. And it's like a knob of butter? Yeah, that's just dealer's choice. the amount you choose. That's why I like Carbonara. It's all that adding pork. Yeah, then you add bacon. Pork belly or bacon, yeah.

Yeah. And an egg, an egg yolk. Yeah, yeah. I don't know Ziti is the dish or a type of noodle, but I remember... Is it? Because my grandma used to make, quote, Ziti, but with Mastacholi noodles,

which is like a smaller circumference panet. So it traps more food flavor. it. Yeah. Yeah. It was my favorite. I love that in there. Yeah. Pasta rules.

It sucks. It's so, you know, kind of not good for you. Do you think you'll reinvent pasta at some point where it's not bad for you? There's protein pastas. When I've been on like extreme fitness kicks, one of the, I would crave the things that I was completely unable to eat. Like peanut butter cups was a big one. But spaghetti. Spaghetti had been completely removed from my diet all of a sudden.

And normally, not only because of the tamas, tomatoes and their inflammatory issues that come along with them. So I couldn't have tomatoes to begin with. But then all of a sudden, I couldn't have pasta because it's so calorie dense. And it's nothing to carbs. And if you look at the amount of like spaghetti you can have compared to the amount of just white rice you can have, it's like, oh, I'm going to eat that white rice or potato, like either of those. But I was just some basic like pasta with little butter, little parmesan. I just want to munch it.

I like the mouth feel of pasta. I like the chewiness of it when it's out dente. I love pasta. It's one of my favorite things. Hey, noodles. I made lasagna. It tastes like anything.

There's nothing good tasting about pasta. It's just filler. I salt the water and I put Italian seasoning, a little olive oil in there, and I cook those flavors into my pasta noodles. And then I finished them off for the last, like, I cook them for like seven minutes instead of 10. So they're very al dente. They're too chewy to chew.

And I cook them the rest of the way in my ragu sauce. pasta is a flavor canvas right it's it's it's there for the the sauce yeah i might agree with that i could see that but that doesn't make pasta good right it just means it's accompanying something that's actually good that's carrying it but otherwise you're just eating sauce like which is sometimes good chicken isn't like good i agree chicken soaks up good things better than a lot of meat and so that's If you use the chicken breast instead of the noodles and just use the sauce, got yourself a nice, healthy little meal, right? That's called a-

Yeah, but you need the noodles. Yeah, I like the noodles, man. I want the noodles, and I want the garlic bread. I want the garlic bread too. Yeah, you need the garlic bread. I want to mop up the rest of that ragu with that garlic bread and eat that buttery- and then the tiramisu afterwards. I would argue the garlic bread is not that good.

It's just the butter that is. Yeah, it's on the garlic bread, though. That's what makes it. Good. I'm okay with that. What's a good food that doesn't have anything on it? Like, it just comes good, like out the box. Like oysters. Almonds to me are very, if you like the flavor of almond, that's fine. But like, I don't. Like, without the salt, it tastes like shit. I put an almond between my molars and squeeze them and get the oil out and just savor that. That's some Patrick Bateman shit. Like, no. I lost like 250 pounds doing keto.

So I got, I learned to love almonds, you know, raw, raw nuts. You're not wrong. almonds, almonds crack.

I made peanut butter yesterday. My, my girlfriend got a really nice ninja food processor. And the grocery store had buy one, get one free roasted nuts. So I made my own peanut butter. It's so good. So cool.

Oh, huh. What goes in like peanut butter in addition to peanuts? sugars. Peanuts. Nothing but peanuts. So if you put them into Ninja and you let them go like first they get kind of crumbly and you got to push everything down. But it eventually just there's enough oil in the peanuts to turn it into peanut butter.

Now if you want a more smooth like out of the jar consistency, you can add like a tablespoon of peanut oil or any like oil to there that's like a flavorless oil. And it'll make things much more like creamy and smooth. And if you don't give a fuck, I definitely put like a little. salt in there, but if you don't give a fuck, you'd pour some honey in there. You pour some honey in there, make some honey peanut butter. Five stars. Honey is good. I never think like, oh, chicken nuggets are so good because you know, you can put honey on them. No, the honey is what's carrying that meal. The grocery stores out here, some of them will have like a peanut grinder

in the store and you go to the bulk aisle and you get the bulk peanuts and they'll have like honey roasted peanuts and regular bulk and you just do a scoop of honey roasted peanuts, get them fresh mashed and you got yourself a little container of honey roasted peanut butter pretty good that does sound like it'd be good does that oil come to the top though not not at first no i think if if it sits that's how that happens it separates and it's because they add the so much oil to it when you get the natural peanut butter at the store that separates they've added most of that oil like peanuts just don't have that much oil in them like the amount of peanuts that made up the the peanut butter in that jar. Like it's it's there to as a as a stabilizer but you don't need that much oil.

I remember as a kid at one point my mom like made the switch from like regular Jif to that like oil on the top nature peanut butter. And it was I was furious. She was like it's better for you. You just have to stir it. And I was like, fuck you. Like this is this is insane. Like I should be able to scoop a delicious sugary scoop of peanut butter put it on my white bread. put it on my on my wonder bread and then just eat it and run outside you know the best peanut butter is if you just don't give a fuck about your life reases rhesis makes oh peanut butter okay you're in a dark place if you're buying reese's peanut butter no you're in a dark place if you're buying goobers goobers is that jar where they they make great jam and peanut butter into like this

stripe like it's like the way ice cream comes with like flavors mushed into the middle and it's just one jar like you couldn't As a kid, I was like, my God, technology has gotten beyond our understanding. Heck with AI, goobers. Yeah, I remember the purple goobers where it had the stripes down the side. I love peanut butter and delicious. They're delicious. I saw there was this whole thing.

I guess the amount of uncrustables that the NFL was going through was ungodly. And then I can't remember which players, like Pat McAfee might be one of them. But they started a, or maybe Tom Brady, they started a company to rival the uncrustables that has more calories and protein. And somehow they got it. They went, they took it down because there's nothing that says NFL teams can't put uncrustables in their, uh, their locker rooms anymore. But they have to put the Tom Brady uncrustables. Little air. Little air colds there.

Yeah. Yeah. They eat like thousands of them. They had each team ranked who ate the most peanut butter. jelly sandwiches in the season. And it's like thousands per team or something. Have you thought about investing in an uncrustable's press? Like the sandwich presses that make an uncrustable?

They're pretty. But I've got a knife. I could just cut the edges off and then take my four and bring them down. You know, I don't eat that many peanut butter jelly sandwiches. Okay. I got a lot of kitchen gadgets taking up room already. I had to put in a shelf to store them all. I don't need a.

Billy's thinking of industrial. Yeah. Because, oh, you got air fire? Throw it out. I'm making a P.B and J. I'm pressing it. I'm making my ungruss. I don't need an instapot. I don't need a microwave. Get them all out. Just one peanut butter, jelly press, a jar, a peanut butter, a jar, a jelly, and a bag of bread on the counter. I'm done forever. And they're delicious. Yeah.

A little brother refused to eat anything. But, wait, uncrustables were currency in prison. Yeah, butter and jelly sandwiches were the punishment of meal in prison. Like, when they went on lockdown because of stabbing, everybody who's got like sack lunches they didn't the cafe because the prisoners cook the food but now everybody's on lockdown nobody to cook the food so they hauled up a bunch of us from the low security prison to the medium security prison to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for like 700 inmates or something like that that's not a bad you did that I got out of that I was selected to do that I did you put a little knife in the sandwich bag so they could cut their own crust off Yeah, I didn't want to make peanut butter jelly sandwiches for a bunch of killers.

I didn't want any part of that job. I didn't seem fun. Medium security has killers? Yeah. It does. Okay. And killings, more importantly, like in there. The reason they were on lockdown was someone got stabbed.

I don't know if it was to death, but they had to be like, they didn't fix in the infirmary. They had to take him to a hospital. He got stabbed up over like a bag of potato chips, they said. Like, I don't know if somebody owed the other guy a bag of chips, like a borrowing off. commissary wasn't paid back, disrespected, and they fucked them up. So then the whole prison goes on lockdown and they get sack lunches through a slot

and stay in their cells all day. I wonder how that went down like exactly, right? Like let's say I owe potato chips. And I say bro, I am sorry. I know I said I'd get you potato chips by Friday and I haven't met my deal. So if you

give me four more days, we'll make two bags of potato chips and then we'll be square. How's that work with you? They don't beat me up for that, right? No. If you give the chips, right? If it becomes a thing where you're constantly being disrespectful. We got another time. Yeah. Right, right. I imagine he got beat up for saying, I know I said I'd pay you back, but now, fuck you.

I'm not gonna. And that's what. I actually saw a video the other day that was in the prison. One of the inmates has a camera phone and he's recording, they're having like a court session. There's like two or three guys who are the offended parties. And there's one guy who has borrowed money from multiple of them and not paid it back. And he's like, and I wouldn't have given you anything if I'd known you owe this man money already. and you'd already promised to put the money on his commissary.

So now you're going to get fucked up. And then they just jump him and beat the shit out of him right there. And it's like, classic criminal recording their crime in prison. And I'm watching it. So there's no way the prison guards haven't seen it or the warden or whoever the fuck. Like I've seen it. Yeah, it's people not paying back their debts and being disrespectful about it. There's one thing about like if you were late.

Like, oh, I know I told, I bar that salsa from you or those chips or that ramen or that mac or that mac or that mac or. I said I would hit you back when on commissary day, when I could get back to the commissary, but my people didn't put my money in. They're not going to beat you up over that. But if this goat keeps happening, this situation's not made, made right, they're going to beat you up eventually. Or if you owe someone chips and you say, I don't have the chips, I'll get you next week, but they catch you eating chips. Oh, that would be, that would be a problem.

You're done. You're done. Yeah, that would be a problem. That makes sense too. Yeah. Yeah, I always wonder, like, how unreasonable are they? Because I've seen like, this is probably not true stuff, but you know, they leave a Snickers bar on your bed. You accidentally think that it's a gift or whatever. Now, oh my God, I owe them anal or something. And I'm like, wait, this sounds like we've blown this out in proportion.

No, that might happen. But that's a different scenario. Like what I was describing was like a transaction between two dudes. What you're describing sounds more like a new guy getting targeted by an actual rapist. And like that could, that totally happens. stuff like that, like where they trick the guy into taking something from them so that then he owes them. And now he'll never be satisfied about the way in which they pay him back. And they can sort of hold that over his head. I saw a podcast with an ex-con and he had gotten a job somewhere at an

office or something. And the lady's going out to get sandwiches. And she's like, I'm going to Jimmy Johns. You want a sandwich? He's like, I got my sack lunch from the shelter they make me live at. And I'm like, no, no, no. She's like, I'll get you a sandwich. And he's like, in my head because I'm conditioned for prison. I'm like, and then what do I owe you? What are you going to want back for this sandwich? What are you trying to do to me right now? Your ass. And she's like, I'm going to bring you a sandwich back. No strings attached. And I was like, fuck. If I were in prison, there is nowhere less I'd rather hear they're bringing me a sandwich from than Jimmy Johns. Jimmy John's fucking sucks

You're picky about it, okay I'd be a little picky I'd take sub- They're better than Blimpy's or Subway No way they're better than Blimpy's and Subway No Blimpys blows both of those out of the water You're crazy

Get yourself a nice bacon ranch Get yourself an Italian with bacon Come on It's better than Blimpies or Subway It's better than Subway I don't think I have a Blimpies around here But yeah subway They're shredded lettuce

I don't like it. Bottom tier. Jersey mics. Pretty good. Jersey mics are good. Quiznos is the goat, but they're kind of going out of business. I loved Quiznos back in the day. Yeah, what happened to Quiznos?

Yeah, that big onion roll and that olive paste. It was like a step up from, it was two or three steps up from a motion. You know what happened to Quiznos, Subway started toasting their sandwiches. That was the one thing they had ahead of everybody was they toasted their sandwiches. And when Subway got the toaster, Quiznos was obsolete. Yeah, that's true. What I don't like about Subway is it feels like when, you add ingredients, the employees are almost obstinate. Like they're, they seem almost mad at you.

How many ingredients are you putting on these sandwiches, Taylor? A normal amount of ingredients. Sometimes you say more jalapinos, more jalapinos, maybe a little more jalapinos. Can you spare a slice of provolone? Like, can you say stuff like that? I haven't eaten in one of those places in a long time. Like, it's so expensive. And then, like, I really like the nice, nice deli meats at the grocery store. So I'd rather get, like, some honey-coated high-end ham that's kind of so, everything's so expensive now. Like, good ham is like $17 or $18 a pound.

Are you getting butcher cuts? Or are you getting, like, uh, yeah. Yeah. I get them to slate. Yeah, I get the, the boars head, but I get them to slice it extra thin. I like him really thin. Boershead's pretty good. Yeah.

I think those delis that will make you the sandwich. That's where you got to go, right? Let them do it. I don't need subway doing. I don't need someone who's got a little uninitiated wrist flick of alipinos on my sandwich. High teenager. I want someone who's like crafting this damn thing and they put it together so that it sits with a base to it. It's got some foundation.

It just seems wasteful to have somebody else make my sandwich. Like I can handle that. You know what I mean? Like this isn't rocket science. I feel like subway and the sandwich places are like time crunch things where it's like I've only got you know 15 minutes and then I got to get it. I've got enough time to watch someone make a sandwich but nearly enough to make one myself. But how many times have you watched someone make a sandwich and you learn something new? Because it doesn't happen all the time.

Oh, it happens. There are some people that know. What have the sandwich artist? Hold on that ass down to you. When they salt the damn? tomatoes before they put it on your sandwich? I've been doing that for years. I didn't know that. And I sandwich in between paper towels. That way through osmosis, the salt brings out a lot of that moisture that's in the tomato that would normally give you a soggy tomato like melt through the bread

kind of thing. So I salt and pepper both sides and sandwiching in between paper towels. That's the first thing I do. And then I go to constructing the sandwich. So by the time I'm done, they've drawn out all the moisture and they're salted and peppered all the way through because it's drawn in that salt. again, just like when you dry rub some meat and put it in the fridge. That is the way to do it. I have a cooking question. It came up today. So let's say you're making chicken.

I chose that on purpose because it needs to be cooked properly to be safe, right? Yeah. How do you know when it's done, right? If you poke it with the thermometer and you get a temperature, that's one way to tell. But I don't know the numbers that well, but let's say you're looking for 175 degrees. If you just hit that, that's a different thing than having sat there for some period of time. I got your answer. I'm listening.

So the safe cooking temperature for chicken is 165 degrees. They give you that number because that is the temperature that even if you just touch it for a moment, you're done. You can cook chicken to 155 degrees and hold it there for a long time. And that will kill all the bacteria. It just takes longer to do it. So you get a much juicier, flavorful chicken if you cook it a little under, With a suvite, it's really easy to do this. You just set it to 165 and like give it an extra half an hour,

or 160 or 155 below the safe cooking temperature and then give it enough time for that lower temperature to kill it, an extra half an hour, and then steer it on both sides and you're done. And if you're going to- That answers the question. Okay. Yeah. If you're going to overcook it, get chicken thighs.

The chicken thighs will overcook better than a chicken breast. Yeah. That makes sense because it's a little greasy or something like it. A little fatier. Yeah. It's dark meat. It's fattener. Chicken breast dries out really bad if you overcook it. So's turkey.

Do you know that Chipotle, you know, the reason their chicken is a little gummy? It's because it's all chicken-like. All chicken-leg portions. They sell white meat, too, but it's mostly chicken thighs, yeah. Oh, I didn't know they had white meat. I don't think I've ever gotten it. I get it if they sell it. I prefer white meat.

I don't like the dark anything. No? you're not you're not a thigh a leg a wing fan no i don't that that's the underbody of the chicken that's that's the that's the part they get shit splatted all well the wing is the upper body the wing wing wing is white meat right i i eat the wings because i you know hot wings i like flats but if i'm eating like chicken chicken if i'm going to make a dish i always use chicken breast i just don't like thighs it's greasy like flats are the the the intelligent man's choice everyone else The patricians, you know, they take the drummies.

The plebs, rather, they take the drummies. But the rest of us, we know how to eat the flats. Exactly. Once you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's a better skin to meat ratio. The top of the drumsticks always has some like really chewy tough, like flesh to it that I'm like gnawing at and end up like spitting out if nobody's looking.

Like I'd much rather have flats. Some ligament up there. Yeah. Who knows? It's got to eat. cartilage, though. It makes your bones strong, right? I think. I doubt it. You know, you're supposed to eat, yeah, bone broth. That's a healthy thing. I think that's more the collagen, though. I don't know. I think

collagen is more for your skin and hair and stuff. I don't know if it helps bones. I'll eat it just in case. I'm not holding back. I'm eating everything. Just in case. I'm going to chance it. I'm going to order a. second pie after dinner just in case. For the nutrients, of course. Yeah, just in case. To fill out that nutrient profile.

Do we need a topic? I had one from Reddit. What is the most brutal, visceral fight scene you've ever watched? So this is a fake thing, like a movie. And it's a Vigo Mortensen in Eastern Promises. He is in a Russian bathhouse. He is a member of the Russian mafia all tatted up. He's fully nude and they show his dick.

And he is ambushed by two other rival Russian mobster guys. And I think they have carambots. They have knives. And they have a fight in the bathroom completely naked that looks pretty real. And because they have the knives, everybody's bleeding everywhere and is all cut. up. That one to me is number one. Mine was irreversible.

At the beginning of it, they beat up a man so badly. Not the end scene. I know that one too. That one's also hard to get through. But at the beginning, they beat him up. And I think they damage his face or skull with a fire extinguisher. Yeah. And that is like

the opening move. What made it so brutal to me is that they kept beating him long after they made their point. And that's a good one. There's a movie called Knock Around Guys with Vin Diesel. It's young Vin Diesel, and he plays a half Jewish, half Italian

like mobster kid, and they're in this small town trying to get their money back, long story short, and it's all the sons of mobsters, so they don't really have any Jews. They can't call for, like, tough guys to come help him, but they got Ben Diesel, and they go into the town to try to find their money, and Vin Diesel picks a fight with the biggest, toughest guy there and he just beats the shit out of this man and humiliates him in front of the whole bar and that to me like when me and my cousin saw that we're like yeah that's what a man is because

ben diesel has this fucking speech the guy's like i can't remember what the big tough guy says but it's something like what you're looking at douche bag and he fits tobacco on ben diesel's leg and ben diesel goes 500 what 500 what that's the number i had as a kid 500 street fights and you could call yourself a legitimate tough guy so I got to work early and he has this whole speech yeah somewhere along the way

it stops being the point it's just who you are like he doesn't really well somewhere along the point you lose track of all the silliness of it you build callous knuckles and you know and reactions and this and that and the guys like clearly

and Vend Diesel's taking his he's undressing as this goes on. He's taking his leather coat off. So you can see he's, this is Jack Diesel. He's not even a little bit chubby. Big fucking arms. He's sort of like, like does one of those. And the bully all of a sudden is like, well now, hang on a damn minute. Wait a minute now. Like he's trying to backtrack already. And then Vendezel opens with the headbutt. He's like, one thing you learn around, you learn a lot of things on the weight of 500. None more than important than this. And he grabs the guy by his jacket and head butts him right in the

nose and then the guy's down and he's just he doesn't stop for way too long like he hits him in the face so many times the guy's face is pretty demolished and then he starts asking questions it's it's a great scene that's a good one and i'm like wait wait was supposed to infer none more important than hit first because you never really laid it out for me yeah do you think the point was hit the nose the point was that opening move grabbing them and headbutton them in the face and then the then the fight's over before it starts i took it to be a generic hit first but i see your point too headbutt seemed to work i've heard boss rootin talk about that as being the the perfect opening move in a bar fight fight fight fight you're like you're like you're giving you a little problem it gets in your face like this and that give me a little boop and you don't have to do much just a little boop his nose is broken and he's i love boss root and spy stories

Like when they were fighting for pride and all those, that crazy shit in Japan and rubbing shoulders with Yakuza and getting into bar fights, like, those are cool stories. That's like Wild West shit. This episode is brought to you by Activia. You might already be eating yogurt, but not all yogurts are created equal. Activia contains over one billion probiotics per serving to survive and reach the gut alive. When it comes to gut health, Activia is the number one family doctor recommended probiotic yogurt. brand. Choose Activia. Feel good from the inside out. Visit Activia.ca for more details.

Yeah. Taylor, do you think of one? Billy, did you have one? Mine is actually trash. It's not good. Okay. Stuck out to me ever since the moment I watched it and you're going to make fun of me for it. Have you seen the Ben Affleck Daredevil? Yes. Oh, we like, oh, wait, not the Ben Affleck. The Ben Affleck Daredevil.

at the end he's going up against a kingpin and he kicks his fucking knees out the wrong way and as a big guy whose head knees are like the weakness and ever since I saw that it's been stuck in my head that's freaked me out ever since I thought that might be what kills me in life

someone kicks my fucking knees out of fear it's stuck with me forever I can't get it out of my head you brought this up I was like oh I don't want to say it That was Michael Duncan. Michael Duncan. Michael Clark was playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I fear it. He just drop kicks his knees the wrong way, and it's like, oh, fuck. I thought you're going to say the hallway fight scene from the Daredevil Netflix series where he was going to rescue the kidnapped kid, and they have a one shot, no cut, where he beats up, like, six, seven guys, and he's really struggling to beat him all up. Like, he's way better than a regular human, but he's not Captain America good. No. He's like, it's a huge struggle for him to beat up six.

men. It's all, like, he's like, and then the guy recovered on, and he's like, whoa, and he's like, oh. That's a terrible superhero. If he can't beat up six guys. Well, he's blind. Well, you're ready in terms of superhero scaling, but sometimes the more entertaining ones are a little less powerful. I would argue that is a perfect, like, strength level, a guy who can just barely beat up six guys at once. Like, that's, first of all, that's an incredible thing. Why doesn't he yell more? Because that would help

him. He could just go, ah, and then he could then he could see. Sonar? Yeah. You should just chirp like a Tourette's dude. He probably doesn't have to, right? Because he probably is so in tune with every little sound

that he doesn't need to. He should have the idea of the wind. He should have the Spine-Fleck and he's detector as his shields. Like, just chirping and he's constantly in the mix. I think, it's not like a brutal fight scene but the one your question made me think of was in fight club where Brad Pitt beats that attractive like blonde guy isn't that Jake Gyllenhaal maybe it would it I don't know who it is but he beats the fuck out of him and it made me sad and like almost scared where I was watching it for the first time where I was like and it was to Woody's point like you know you're

You make this point all the time where I was like, this guy can come back from that. This guy can come back from that. This guy can come back from that. Oh, there's no coming back from this. Oh, there's certainly no, there is no world where this guy recovers from what's happening to him right now from Bradford. And that kind of upset me.

Is that the one where he bleeds on him? No. That's the one I was thinking of. That's when the club owner comes down and he's like, just let us stay, bitch, just let us stay. And the club owner is pummeling Brad Pitt mercilessly, and Brad Pitt finally flips him over at the end and like, like drool bleeds into the guy's face to freak him out.

But earlier in this thing, he had beaten that, like, twinkish, good-looking content. I wanted to destroy something beautiful or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. He gets him down and he doesn't stop. And he knocks all of his teeth out, and he breaks his nose, like, unrecognizably and, like, crushing orbital, and big UFC style like gashes on his

gosh darn. I don't remember that. I want to see it again. I wonder if it's on YouTube. Oh, I'm sure it is. Also, the fight from They Live, it's a little cheesy by today's standards, but Rowdy. Jared Leto. Jared Leto was the guy that he beat to a pulp. Yeah, we do have to rewatch that. It's on Netflix. I'm seeing it right now on mute. That's poor Jared Leto Isn't he like a weirdo in real life?

He's got a bit of a cult I think he's an odd guy He looks like he drinks blood for fun Yeah I think he's I knew this girl who was like Completely invalid in a wheelchair Nothing on her body worked at all

She basically moved her wheelchair around With a straw on her mouth She could barely talk And Jared Letto would like fly her down His compound to hang out with him and stuff so like I'll always feel like he's got something good in him because he was like making sure she had a good time whatever I'm having a bad day I just look at Karen over there

and I think it's worth playing tickets what was she doing with him down there they would do these retreats for his cult and they would have these big these big camping retreats and she'd roll up in her chair and she'd be there and she was very kind to her and I was like dude I don't know how many people he's freaking out on in this cult

but at least he's got her down there and she was weird too she'd be like you want my cripple nipples and I'm like no no I really don't and I wasn't asking for him but she would offer them to everybody so maybe he was I don't know I can't put him in

I don't know if he was enjoying the cripple nipples or not I think he was just being a good guy was she wore up and down was she cute or was she pretty fucked up monster she was a human puddle you know She just wasn't,

there wasn't much going on there. Well, she was, she was funny as hell because she's just talking about fucking everybody. She was just a, a crippled horny lady

that couldn't talk. Yeah. She'd have like someone there to wipe her butt and she'd be like, go in the other room. I like this guy. She'd want her privacy. Then she'd just be on this webcam

talking all this nasty stuff. Oh, my lord. Why hate all that? Yeah, no, it was weird. It was weird. It was a two-dimensional puddle woman getting her ass wiped and getting her jolly golf. I don't like any part of that. I'm not a fan.

No. No. It upsets me, too. I'm not a fan. No. No, no, no diapers play. What do they call it? She was not playing.

That was for real. When the guys like to do, like, be a big baby. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Baby play. Is that age play? Is it, there's something. It's kind of age play, but I think specifically the diaper boys is, is, is, is,

is kind of what I would see. I watch your face like, like you had a little twitch. What diaper wears are something else. Wait, so they're into their partner wearing diapers or they wants to wear them? It want to be changed?

It's the same fetish. But yeah, these guys want to be changed by by dad. Oh my God. And baby made up, I, Howard Stern used to send stuttering John to like weird conventions. Like he said an enamel of course. but he sent him to the, the, the, the, my little pony shit, those guys that want to fuck the horses, the cloppers.

And you also, like, at one of those places. Normal compared to this. Yeah, that, exactly. That's what, that's what everybody's reaction was. He's interviewing this guy and he's like, how old are you? I'm three. Baby made up, boom, boom. He needs a change.

He's 41. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, and Stern's like, oh, John, will you describe this gentleman? Yeah, yeah, he's about 40. years old, he's bawling about 275 pounds. Right, right. And what's he wearing right now?

An enormous diaper, Howard. An enormous diaper. It's just like the most diabolical shit. It's wild. There was a diaper-loving couple on YouTube and they had all these videos trying out every new adult diaper. They have all the different designs and everything.

And there was one where the guy got bold and he was like, this is a waterproof diaper. I'm going to go swimming. in it and he went in his pool in his backyard and the diaper sucked up all the pool all the pool water he could barely get out of the water he almost killed himself swimming in a diaper

I was gonna shit in the fucking pool can you imagine a grown man takes a shit in your pool I sent you that article earlier where they got you know what sensory deprivation chambers are right I wanted to do one that time we were in Colorado on shrooms nobody was into it but this guy says that he got into a sensory deprivation chamber

and he didn't know that he had contracted neurovirus. So like while he's in there, it starts smelling awful. To the point where he's knocking on the top, he's like, let me out. It stinks in here. And as soon as they open it up, the lights come in and he has diarrhea. The deprivation chamber full.

He's like, the worst part is, $8,000 to get the sensory deprivation chamber cloned out. No, because when you're in there, you're floating in saline and salt solution. You don't feel

would know if I shit. Maybe not a really wet diarrhea. It's just slipping out. Everything's the same temperature. So there's no, there's no temperature. You know, your butt cheeks are a little spread.

You're floating. It's supposed to negate all of your senses. The one it can't do is smell. So his body, he can't feel anything. You can't feel the release because his body's so loose and floaty. And I guess now he's filled it up with shit.

And he should have known there was something wrong. He should have banged the foot by $8,000 to sit. Taylor, is that more or less embarrassing than that time that you pooped and flooded the toilet at your girlfriend's house? Oh, that's far less embarrassing than the time I flooded that toilet. I don't retell that story because it's your story and because it embarrasses me a little to tell it tangentially somehow. It's the most humiliated I've ever been. It's the worst thing that I can think. I pooped at a girlfriend's apartment one time and I think they smelled it and I was so embarrassed.

Like I was, because then later on I asked to ask, going the other girls back and it went down. It was fine. Oh, yeah. Everything was fine. It was just a stinky poo. I think it was a little stinky. But then like I sort of got a sense because like later on we're all hanging out. And I was, I asked the other girl because we were in her bedroom, I could use her bathroom.

And I just had to pee. But she was, I could tell she was kind of hesitant at first. And I think she thought I was going to take another stinky poop. I think the other girl had told her he took a stinky poop in my bathroom. And now she was afraid I was going to also stinky poop. I remember being so humiliated. And that's nothing compared to what happened to you. No.

And for Billy's benefit, when I was 17, I was dating a girl. And I haven't had to tell this in so long. I'm going back. I'm going back. You go back to that place. I go to that place a little when I tell it so I don't tell it. I basically my girlfriend and I got back to her place. And I had to take a horrible shit.

And she had a like open the front door for your bathroom. And I was like, I don't want to go upstairs and destroy the upstairs bathroom. So I'm going to go on this one. So if there's a poo smell, it's disseminated amongst the rest of the house. And I went in there, took a wild shit, just a just a banana shit. Real clanker. Firen out there. Clanker.

It was all sorts of shit. There were logs. There was diarrhea. There was a. There was. shrimp baskets. There was all kinds of shit. It was a diversity pile of shit. And then when I wiped, got up and flushed, and it came to the top of the bowl. And I was like, oh, no. And I, there's no, there's no plunger. There's no, there's no out for me. I'm in, I'm in the mix.

And so I waited for it to settle down a little bit. And foolishly, I was like, maybe I can flush it again and it'll go down flush it again this thing erupts now my entire stomach content of shrimp basket is all over the floor of their nice foyer bathroom and also you know logs are cresting things are like it's it's despicable what i've done and it it it overflows so much that it starts it's a very small bathroom that the water starts to go under the door leaving the bathroom into the into the foyer of their home. And I have to like at some point, like I've said this before exactly, but I was like, game seven mentality.

I was like, open the door and I'm like, I need towels. I need tell. I'm yelling. Like their whole family is home. My girlfriend's home. Her sisters are home. Her brother's home. Her parents are home.

It's a family of like six. And I go out there and as soon as I, I ask for the towels. The flood has begun. It can't be stopped. It's like when, it's like when the ants destroyed that, like,

Eisengard thing. And then, like, the entire area was flooded. Yeah. Free the river. That's basically what it was. And then the mom came down.

And she was like, there's shit on my foyer. She screamed that. I'm like, I would have, if someone handed me a loaded, nine. Bang. Just ended that shit right there.

I would have just left and never talked to her again. We had to soak that shit up. It was everywhere. There was so, so much of it. I can't understate the amount of shit that was everywhere. The amount of actual my feces on the floor. You know what it made worse? I just thought of something.

Like imagine if in the middle of all that hell, the dog came out and grabbed some poo. He starts running around with it. He wants to eat the poo, but you know how dogs are when you try to take something away from him? They're like running for it and like, er. Put that log down. Put that log down. There's a brown splash trail.

It was following him. And then we had to clean it up. And I had, parts of it are almost blacked out out of trauma because I was so, I can't, I was so humiliated. I was so embarrassed. I think I would have started a fire in the bathroom. I'd just burnt the house down. Like, get out. There's a fire.

And everybody runs. I, at that point, that may have been my move. I should have lit, because before I came out, I ruined their bath towels. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. It is bar none, the most embarrassing story I've ever heard in my life. And that includes like movies that are even real. That includes like, like, bulls like this is

this is some humpty dumpty type of shit. I just got back is this when he flooded that girlfriend's man. I Kyle I hadn't thought about that in a while and you're bringing all of it back. I think about it every week at least once.

That lives in my mind. That was so horrible. I take myself to the there in a visceral way in my imagination. The years have gone by. That was 15 fucking years ago almost, and yet I am embarrassed through you somehow, through, through time, space, and reality. It is so embarrassing that it sticks to me because I told you, like that, just thinking that girl smelled my poo that time. I was just so embarrassed.

I still think about that. I still think about it. Their whole family saw my poo. Her mom. Mom saw it and screamed their shit in my foray. Did she know it was you when she said that? Yes. I was standing there.

I was standing there panicking. Oh my God. Give me towels you don't care about. I probably ruined their fucking, uh, base porn. Oh, with that amount of sleep.

The family being there. That's rough. The family being there. So you all, your ancestors smelled it. This is worse than that dumb and dumber bit with, with, when he like diarrhea is and it won't watch.

10,000 times worse. 10,000 times worse. Because all you got to say is like, look, I did use the toilet. I'm terribly embarrassed. While we were out at dinner, let me have a plumber come over and solve this whole problem like it didn't happen. Again, I'm terribly embarrassed. I didn't know. I didn't get your warning in time.

She'll still take you to dinner. But what you did? Did that relationship continue on? It did for actually another year or so. What? Holy shit. You're a good man. I wouldn't be able to look at her like that. I'd be like, you know what I've done. Would she have like a cleft palate or something?

I had the eyes down around the parents for a while. I was like a beaten dog. Every time you were at their house and you asked to use the bathroom, they gave you a look. You got to man up, though. You got to own it. You got to look at a house for me. You get a porta potty out back, mister. You prove you can use that way. without causing any devastation for a few months.

And we'll bring you back indoors. You are an outside boyfriend. Dude, if I had to think of the most humiliating things I've ever gone through, I'd have to, like, sit down for a half hour because that one was such an atom bomb of it that I feel like it eradicated, like probably whatever two, three, four, and five are

because it's, it was the worst thing of all time. It's, when you see your own shitwater going under the door and knowing you can no longer, hide this and you've already ruined their decorative towels. I imagine you're like, you're like bailing water into the sink or something.

Like I'm thinking of all the things I would do. Like first thing I do was go down behind the toilet and turn it off. Like that would be my reflex impulse. Yeah. The deed was done. I really did think in that moment like I, my jeeps in the driveway. I can the front door's right there.

I didn't get out I can get out of here. I had my dad's old Jeep I was driving. Survimele. It was no, it was Cherokee. Okay. And I was like,

I can make it to my car and I can get out of here and I can break up with her on Monday at school. You wouldn't have to. You wouldn't have to. But also I was thinking, I'm like, oh my God,

she sits with like that table of like all the cool girls. and she's going to tell all of them about this. I wonder she did. I bet she did. She was probably, no, because she stayed with him. She would have been embarrassed by proxy. She would have to devalue her boyfriend.

They had a meeting. They had a meeting like they found out somebody was a communist in the family in the 50s where they were like, we got to keep this quiet, gang, all right? They're going to house to send us all back to the side of the Berlin world. They find out that we're floor shitters. Like, they kept that quiet. Get that right here. You don't be running your mouth.

about Karen's What a nightmare. What a terrible day that was. If I had a magic wand, I would take that away from you. I really would. Total recall style. If I had a monkey's paw, I would be like, fucking infinite money.

Let me live to 125. But let me outlive my parents. Or whatever. And then take that event where Taylor shit the floor in front of his girlfriend's family. Take it away from reality. Like it never happened. All of a sudden, you become a doctor.

Taylor's a fucking neurosurgeon somewhere. He's not a podcaster anymore. He's the senator from Missouri or something like that. Yeah, man. Yeah, that was horrific. What a traumatic event. And it was like, I remember going to bed that night and being like, time will pass.

you know, this. This two shall pass. This two shall pass. I was like Jesus in the Garden of Gessimony. It's not nearly as good as story. I was like 13, 14 years old. And my best friend, his father and mother had divorced. His dad lived in Pennsylvania.

We're from Jersey. So he only got to see his dad like once a month or something on weekends. And this is like he idolized this guy. It's always telling me how jacked his dad was. how cool his dad was, all the cool things. Like they shoot guns in the woods. He's got this cabin, yada, yada, yeah. So he's just, his dad has this new girlfriend who's, of course, way cooler than his dull mom, right?

Because she's young and she's hot and whatever. And now we're going to their cabin. I'm going to meet these guys. And we're there for like a day and a half. And the dog has taken toilet paper and chewed it up and like vomited it or something somewhere. And they're all like, what happened here? And I'm embarrassed. I know I'm the culprit.

And they're like, how did the dog even get toilet paper? Like, why wasn't it flushed? And they're looking at me like some sort of fucking psycho who doesn't flush his toilet. I blew my nose, right? But I'm too embarrassed to come clean on this story. So they all think that I pooped and put the toilet paper somewhere, random where the dog could get at it and like bring it to the living room and this and that. And I never came clean.

I'm just like, yeah, we're all working on this mystery together, I suppose. You're all trying to find the guy who did this. Like that. The guy is a fucking hot dog. Toil the paper stuck to your heel. When I was like seven, I was sleeping over at my grandmother's house, all my cousins on the floor in the living room,

and I sleepwalk. And I get up, I'm dreaming, and I sit down to take a shit, and I wake up, and I'm sitting in my grandpa's rocking chair. And I have made, a full shit in this chair.

Like a grown man shit, but I'm hardwood or a plush. It was, it was a plush. It was plush. Oh, no. And, and I look and I'm like, oh, fuck, I run to the bathroom and I take off my underwear and I put them at the bottom of the clothes hamper. I decide out of mind. And I'm like, I go back to bed and I lay down in the bed and I'm like on the floor. I'm a little sleeping bag. And I wake up to, oh my God. They had a tiny little poodle. A little bit. shit at the chair.

I was like, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy. And I almost got, my uncle Dick was there, and he lived in the basement. He was like, that ain't dog shit. That's human shit. And they're like, no, no, no, it's the dog. And I'm just like shutting up. And then fucking around noontime hits, they go to do the laundry and they find my shitty-ass

draws in the laundry. Oh, busted. When I was busted. The poodle shit in my underwear. You believe that little fucker, deviant. He's a devious one. Have any of you watched the new Spider-Man, Spider-No War

with Nick Cage on Amazon? It's very good. Nick Cage is so good. So you can watch it in color or you can watch it in black and white. I got that new TV, and I'm really impressed by the blacks of the OLED. So I watched them black.

and white, he looks like Humphrey Bogart. He looks like a classic movie star. He's got the hat and the jacket and the coat and he's all like in the darkness with the shadows on him and the black and white. And he's not goofy cage. He's like serious like good acting Nicholas Cage. And he is a Spider-Man who has quit being Spider-Man and he's just a detective now. And so when he needs to return to his web swinging ways, he's super rusty. And things aren't like he's fallen and he's tripping and he's having to fight like a sandman and a lizard man and it's really fucking good. I was blown away about how good it was and how much I liked it. I'm like six episodes into it now.

I don't know how many they are. I'm guessing 10. It's very good. It's worth a watch. Nick Cage makes some shitty stuff. He's in some shitty stuff. But this isn't one of them. I think this is doing really well.

I don't know. I'll check the rotten tomatoes, but I give it two Kyle thumbs up. I bought an OLED monitor. I'm having like the similar experience, like seeing a bunch of things for the first time. The blacks are so black, they're inky black. I call it the purchasing elevator, you know, like at first I'm like, I could use a new monitor and look at this. OLED started like 300 bucks. But better OLEDs are $500.

Oh, maybe, maybe I could, you know, open the wall a little bit. You keep going until you see a $1,200, $1,200 or $1,200 or something. And I'm like, that's too much, that's too much. You know, let's reconsider. Let's open our eyes. Look at the rest of the monitors. For whatever reason, this time, I got off at the penthouse. I got the best 1440P OLED monitor that mankind has made thus far.

It was $1,200. I love it. It's great. It probably doesn't make me a better gamer or anything. I died in Rainbow 6. I'm like, I don't get it. I got the best mouse. I got the best monitor.

How did I lose? I don't. What could it be? I am so happy with my OLED. I found the LGC5 77 inch for $1,740 or something like that. And it was like a $2,800 TV last year. The new model, like the C6 apparently made marginal improvements, nothing like major, a lot of ease of use stuff,

like nothing as far as performance, really. I love it. As soon as we turned it on, I was like, how did you get in here? Look at this shit. Oh my God. I've got like Planet Earth 2 on, some like nice 4K, like IMAX camera footage. And the blacks are so inky black, like you said.

It's true black because they're closing the fucking shutters on the pixels. It's blackness. No reflection. And then I put like Dead Space remastered on the Xbox and played that. It's a very dark game, you know, atmospheric. And it's, I think it's TV either does 120 frames or 140. I think it's 120. It looks so slick and smooth.

That's all you need on a console game anyways, about 120. no input lag. It's like one millisecond or less or something. And it's a 77-inch TV up on my fireplace. I've been watching so many movies, just like anything I can think of that already looks good. I've been watching it again on my new TV. I love it.

I have this triple monitor setup. So the two on the side are the same iPS, which isn't terrible. Like it's the second best, I guess. But I have the OLED in the middle. And it's like, I used to think that was black. Imagine. you know, now they're right next to each other, so you get to compare, you know, the apples to oranges.

It's pretty cool. My refresh rate is 540 hertz. Oh, yeah. What do you get in Marathon? In Marathon is not my highest one. That one's like 140 or something. But Rainbow 6 is like my secondary game. And in that one, I'm closer to 400 frames per second.

Yeah. That's pretty fucking cool. I looked it up. Spider-N-R is 91% by critics. and audiences. I've been looking forward to it. Me and my girlfriend been watching it. I've been really liking it.

That and Widows Bay on Apple TV, really good show. That's tremendous too. It's about, so it's a horror comedy, but they don't make the mistake of mixing the horror with the comedy because that takes away from both. You know, like if we're laughing at the bad guy, then he's no longer scary.

So essentially, it's a haunted island, and you slowly sort of understand why this haunted island town is haunted and you see it mostly from the point of view of the mayor and it's one of those situations where it's like my God, how many hauntings are on this? There's like a boogeyman

who's like a Friday the 13th style like slasher killer. There's like a sea witch. There's like a black magic book that somebody reads and accidentally almost gets everybody killed. killed and they play it all straight and the comedy is really dry. I would say it's 70% funny and 30% like usually toward the ends of the episode,

things get real. And it's like, oh shit, I guess the sea witch is real. She's here. She's here. She's coming to get you. It's really good. Like it's, I've been loving it.

It reminds me of Midnight Mass that came out several years ago. But this is great. That's the other show. We've been watching that and we've been rewatching Better Call Saul. my girlfriend had never seen it. And I think we're going to go all the way through Breaking Bad. We started at season one of Better Call Saul. Long way around.

I'm going to find out where they start meshing. Because it might be a little bit like Clone Wars, the animated Star Wars Clone Wars, where it's not in the correct order exactly. Or maybe you need to sprinkle a little bit of Breaking Bad End before the end of Better Call Saul. I think there's a little overlap. So I'm going to look into that.

But that's been fun. I think Better Call Saul is a better show. I do too. I do too. It's not an easy call for me, but I think it's what I'd pick. Yeah, I think some of those, they're able to flesh out already well-made characters that we know about and are already cool characters. And I like his scams. Like when they're getting Huell out of trouble and he's having letters written from the whole town of Louisiana, like, what are you trying to do this to our, our Huel for? He's a town hero. And they call and Bob Obenkirk is doing, is pretending like he's a. Pajun preacher. Who there? Who there? Oh, he'll hit a hero of the town here.

There's a lot of old folks, you know. They're in the reading room. They like to get right with the Lord before bed in case he comes home to take them. Well, anyway, there's a fire in the kitchen. And who come busting through the doors but fuel? Carried all them oldsters out, save their lives. And they're like, that whole gag is hilarious.

I don't know what happened to Taylor. I think he just quit. I think he just, I think that was how he decided to quit the show. He just, he's out. Well, we'll dock his time. You guys ready to wrap? Billy, we will, we want everybody to check out your Magic the Gathering podcast. Is there anything else you want to tip before we leave?

Yeah, I did. At Billy the Fridge on iTunes if you want to listen to some white boy rap. Billy the Fridge. Billy the White Boy Rapper. The white boy rap. You got a voice. it that I feel like a lend to lend itself to it. I'm going to check you out after the show.

Yeah. Cool. Thanks for having me on. Thanks for coming. We enjoyed it. All right. Check out, Billy. Links to the description. Sponsor stuff. P.K.A. 808.