Painkiller Already - PKA 809 W/ GoodBadFlicks & Trout: Woody Licked Mr Beast’s Window

Episode Date: June 20, 2026

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Twizzlers keep the fun going. Yeah, I know. I just stopped whatever you were listening to to tell you that Twizzlers keep the fun going. Well, irony isn't my forte, but twisty, chewy, yummy Twizzler sure is. So think of Twizzlers as a little palate cleanser for whatever's queued up, which, by the way, should be coming very soon. Like any second now. Okay, Twizzlers, time to keep the fun going.

PKK 809. Start with Trout, add more midway. Kyle? Yes, we've got Club WPT Gold tonight. Be sure to check out that link down below. And of course, lock and load and all our merch. So links down below, check that out. And watch on Spotify.

It's not too late to switch now. You can be audio only, just like Taylor, who is currently reporting in live from where we at, Kyrgyzstan. Uzbekistan. I'm not a piece of trash. Man, those curtains. I don't want a trash on your father law, but his interior decorating skills are lacking.

You know, we were going to do the Mr. Beast thing. That was what the jacket bit was, and you guys didn't do it. We talked about it 30 seconds ago. I was directly spoken to about it, so I didn't listen to any of that. Okay. I have to be a direct. Or I don't listen. Well, anyway.

It was my bullshit. Yeah. We gave the jacket as much air time as I got in the video. That was the bit. Yeah. Yeah. We talked about a little bit before the pre-show, even though I forgot most of it, it seems. But, like, kids actually linked the video in our group chat.

And I was like, all right, let's go. Let's see the big man do his thing. I hope he won. I hadn't asked Woody if he'd won or not. I didn't want to know. I didn't want any spoilers. And I don't want to be a secret keeper either. So I'm like, I'm watching this thing.

I'm flicking through. I'm looking for Woody. I don't really care about the video, if I'm being honest. The Mr. Beast didn't admire, like, flavor. But I'm looking for Woody. And I'm like, fuck, I've clicked this timeline. for two solid minutes. I never found my man.

All right? I saw that Casey Nystatt guy with his ugly ass face. I saw that Marquis guy. I mean, he's disformed. I mean, disfigure. I don't want to be a part of it. Tremendous YouTuber.

Thank you for all you've ever done. But you're an ugly fuck. He doesn't watch. And then that Marquis fellow who does all the Apple reviews, love him. I use him whenever I buy. He likes it.

He's a good looking guy. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fine chocolate. fella. And then I saw Philly D. He's got some airtime in there. He wins. And oh, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. I'm glad Philly D won. I'm glad. Well, you know, and everybody's watched it. Good watch. Who knows who won? I never found you though. I was like, this is bullshit. How is this? And then I look, can I critique the video? Is that, is that okay for me to do?

Like I thought y'all were going to be doing like, look, the video looked, It was really well produced, well-edited, snappy. I liked a lot about it. I thought y'all going to be jumping out of airplanes. I thought y'all were going to be locked in a basement somewhere, like Saw, trying to figure out who has the key in their asshole. I was expecting bigger things, if I'm being honest. The first and only part of it that I competed in was, is it cake?

So they had five Lamborghinis under hydraulic presses. And I'm not a big is it cake content consumer, so I don't really know what the hell I'm doing. And if you look at the cars, they're kind of far. I'll call it 150 feet away, something like that. And I can't tell which one's cake. The thing is, the car's body was made of styrophone, and they all had the same wrap. You know, you wrap cars nowadays. So like right there, 90% of the car is identical. All the cake cars had real tires and rims. So we're up to like 99. can't even see the cake in this. And so you look at it, you can't really make a quick decision.

And none of them look like cake because they're not made of cake. And we have to get in lines. I'm having like musical chair vibes because all the YouTubers ran into these like, there were five lines with 10 dots in each one of them. And you had to go stand on your dot. And if you think that car is not cake, choose that dot. Well, all the, like, 95% of the dots were taken really quickly. So I just quickly got on a dot.

And afterwards, I realized that my car didn't seem to have brake calipers. And the others did. I guess the tell was that mine didn't have door handles, but they're so built into the car from 200 feet away, I couldn't see the door handles. And as time was progressing, it's like, well, now I don't like my car anymore. I would have picked a different one. I can't see the brakes in this car. I want to change. Someone in my line offered $5,000 for someone to swap spots with them, and nobody took it. And I'm like, that doesn't make me feel good about this spot.

Dude, I took that much. Oh, I do wish that gone. I'd have been that guy. Yep. Yep. My spot is yours. I did not see what white boy said, Zach. Maybe you put it in there. I'd like to know. Anyway, so I lost my trade with thought. The hydraulic presses start compressing and stuff. And I have, really want to get out of my line, but I can't. For a moment, a split second, somebody like 15 feet away from me took their foot off the base. And as I'm like, should I make a dive for this? He put his foot back on. It was really only off for like a full second. But had I instantly gone, I maybe, maybe could have dove and put a hand on his spot while he took his foot off the base to, you know, baseball term. But it wasn't really there. And I was good. when I lost. I really, really wanted to win. Half of the people there thought the million dollars was for them. And I got a chance to talk to like Mr. Beef staff and everything. It was a PR thing. They thought that giving away money to the YouTubers would be received at this like the rich get richer thing and nobody would like it. Mind you, like two thirds of the people there did not have millions of dollars. You know, it's easy to lose all your money.

and YouTube wasn't as profitable in 2012 as it is today. So a lot of guys might have really, really like that million dollars, but he was afraid of viewed as Rich Got Richer. And there was no keeping the money, but people were playing like it was theirs. And I was gutted. You and hardly were in the same line, right? That's why.

I was like, here was my thinking. I couldn't tell if the car was cake. But line four had three special effects artists, two guys from Corridor Digital, Freddie Wong, and then one cake expert, Harley. And I'm like, this is the line. I'm good with this. We got a food guy and three special effects guys.

Here's where I want to be. And it was not the right place we all lost. That reasoning is hilarious. They let you eat the bar afterwards. No, it was all smushed up. I put my finger in it. Oh, you did a taste of the Lambot. Yeah, yeah.

That's how I watched the video as I got to the point that you and Harley were in that line. And then when I saw your line got eliminated, I was like, well, let's do a little scrubbing, see if we can find Woody or Harley somewhere in here. And then you were the only one with a good critique on the Minecraft houses at the end. Oh, you did watch it.

Yeah, there was a little air time at the end. Everyone else just voted for the house. Like, I like this one. I like this one. But I gave my reasoning so that they showed that. But behind the scenes, they did a lot of interviews with me. I guess Jimmy had been talking about me a lot. And maybe they're pumping my tires.

Maybe it's true. But they're like, dude, Jimmy keeps crediting you with the reason he got into YouTube. You know, how do you feel about this? How'd you feel about that? How'd you feel? There's 20 minutes of footage. 100% of it is on the cutting room floor. All these like back room interviews and stuff.

I, if I could change a thing about the video, like if I had made it, I think I would have had it connect with the YouTubers a little bit more. So much of it was like aerial. shots of them crossing, is it, the floor is lava or whatever. Only the chip stuff really had any personality in the video. And I would have, there was more of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can see. And also, like, very few people that I watched leading up on the final Minecraft critique said anything other than like, I don't know, I just kind of like the vibes of this one. And then I really liked that you came in and you're like, those torches are going to burn that one down.

this one's got no lighting interior that means that the ghouls are going to spawn this makes sense that I am never I watched it I wanted to see you in your memory I know I watched it but I don't think I would have retained it as well as you did you did that's all true but

I was going to say I saw the clip as well what was the game there basically they gave everyone the same materials to build a Minecraft thing because Minecraft was big at the time and then the guys who got voted off, voted for the best one. And they made it look a little closer than it was.

I was in the final group that voted. And when I got there, everyone was like, Philly D already won. You know, if you look at the votes, they're like, ooh, it's 18, 17. That doesn't add to 50. There were 50 votes. I think it was like 30 to 20 in the end, something like that. So people knew. And, uh, well, at least like, travel across the world or the country. it was nice and local for you. Super. Yeah, it was a nice 90-minute drive or something. I actually enjoyed the drive.

Yeah, it's no big deal. But his staff was amazing. Man, he has an operation over there. Beast City is like under construction. I saw, I don't know if I can talk about the specifics of like the videos they're making, but people in captivity, fake prisons. And I can't even remember it all. They had a basketball court.

Jimmy likes to play. Um, the green room was wild. It was sponsored by Motrin. And a lot of us were scratching our head like sponsored my Motrin. Why is Motrin sponsoring a Mr. Beast video? Like what kind of connection is that? Well, turns out, because I talked to the staff and this is interesting,

terrible period cramps. People don't know what Motrin is under like 21. And they heard that and they're like, everyone knows what Motrin is. And then the people there who were like in their low 20s were like, yeah, it's like cough syrup or something, right? And they're like, fuck, kids need to be told what Motrin is. So that's why Motrin sponsored the video and they decked out.

I'm an advil, man. I can't have a mitherto. Yeah, I was thinking of Midol. Yeah, see, he doesn't need to. They don't know. It's a simple fuck up. But it's the worst of the painkillers. Nobody reaches for Motrin.

It's ibuprofen. It's my favorite. It's my preferred, actually. I want pain killers, though. I want, I want a citaminopin and ibupin mixed into one pill. the maximum dose of each when you take three. And it's like, that's what I've got. I'm buying from Amazon, the generic.

And it's like a hundred and twenty eight pills for $12 or something. It's a quarter of the price of buying an actual dual strength Advil. And I never, I put it on, I never run out of pain pills. I get headaches. I get a lot of headaches. Taylor, do you know the classification of Motrin? It's like a non-steroids inside. Inside.

Yeah. N-S-A-I-D. I knew you knew. I can't have those anymore because of that stomach thing I discovered a few weeks ago. So I'm in a sit a mini fiend man now. Okay. I was a motron guy. I almost never take any of those, but I know Aleve is the one that seems to be the strongest.

Oh. Isn't that? Like more of whatever you've taken. Ibuprofen has an anti-inflammatory aspect to it. And like half the time I'm in pain, I need that part. Like I've fucked up an ankle or shoulder or something. I sleep funny. And I get this like neck headache that sort of goes up the back of my neck from like sleeping weird.

And, uh, and I often take two or three Advil as soon as I wake up just to deal with that headache that I, I've replaced pillows three times. I can't get rid of it. I think that like regardless of how nice my pillow is or how well I start when I go to sleep, I get into some weird fetal position thing. Probably the dogs don't help because they're all fucking. over me trying to hibernate on me like we're bears in a cave. And I always wake up with a bad headache. Not always, but the last for a while, like pretty regularly. That's terrible.

I'm not going to get that looked at at at all. Oh, neither would I. Neither would I, yeah. Doctors, you just for sick people, not us. Mr. seizure in the bathroom does not bring it up to the doctor. I mean, when you're coming on 29, like all of us, yeah, you just get better on your own. But it was a really cool experience.

I've talked before. One of my favorite parts was hanging out with Jimmy's fiancé, Jackie and I. Like they must be pumping my tires. But like she came over. She's like, Jimmy talks about you all the time. Like, are you Woody's Gamer Tag? And I'm like, yeah. And then we had a, they got us a wedding anniversary cake.

I think the next day was like my actual wedding anniversary. So they got us an anniversary cake and that like brought people towards us and stuff. And we hung out with her forever. She was amazing. That's really cool. Are you Woody's Gamer Tag wearing a jumpsuit that says? Is it? Maybe she didn't say that.

So the day before we did all the photo shoot type stuff and then the day after we drove home. So the shoot was done in one full day. But before it, probably most people have never done like a real photo shoot, but they have cameras on these mechanical arms that like move all over and they get like front, side, whatever, just for thumbnail options and Instagram content. And then they had like a glass in front of me.

And dude, in my head the whole time, I'm like, a lot of people watching this probably haven't seen me for 15 years. Be handsome. And then they're like, press your nose against the glass. And I'm like, fuck it. You don't have to actually touch the glass if you want. And I'm

like licking it. I just gave up all like ego and tried to be like funny in the pictures and they didn't use any of it as far as I can tell. They're like, you can put a shirt down though. Yeah. But at least you got 15 pounds for three seconds of airtime in the Mr. V's video. Oh, you cut for this? I did.

I did. As soon as I decided to do it, I was like, clean up your diet. I had fatty. Yeah. I was shocked at how few old of those old YouTubers I knew because I didn't watch most of the video and I was like

I don't know who this guy. I just assumed all the ones I didn't know were like Minecraft because I've never what really. There were a bunch of Minecrafters. A lot of the women were there were only 50 people but seven of them were women and they formed an alliance together. What Philly Dee was into. I don't know how much

the alliance helped. But But yeah, Philly, he's very charming and was in it to win it. So he's like, hey, you know, we should get together. Like the girls and I inform an alliance. And they said, yes. And that's like that part of how it went down. But at the end, there was a chip challenge. So the idea is you eat like the world's hottest chip or something.

And there's a spicy one and a non-spicy one next to it. And then the person watching you eat it has to guess by your reaction, which one you ate. Philly D. ate the spicy chip. Let me take a step back. Jelly ate the spicy chip and masterfully played it off. You could not tell it was the

spicy one. And then the second it ended, he's like, I'm in pain. Can I have the milk? And Philly D did it. And after it's over, they're like, do you need the milk now? And he's like, no. I'm him. And you like, and he walks off. And I'm like,

Mother Trucker, that was so badass. I one thing that made me feel better is after I got knocked out I was gutted I was like man that stinks it stinks that I lost on it is it cake challenge maybe I could have done something the next challenge were teams of people flipping a water bottle and the video didn't show just al-weka link one of the teams had but there was a girl who just couldn't flip a bottle in fairness it didn't have enough water but they were down by like three people it wasn't close like the video made it seem it was and I was talking to one of the guys on his team and he's like it stinks I lost and I didn't do anything wrong like he hit his first flip immediately tags the

next guy in the relay and her team was just sunk because that wasn't in her skill set and I'm putting myself in those shoes it's like oh so the next one was also kind of a crap shoot. Like, did you get lucky or not? It wasn't really skill-based. And then there was the spicy chip one, which I have no talent in. There's no reason to think I would have done well in that. There was another one that was a mannequin challenge. So they're in a box. And there's a bunch of people dress the same, maybe like a hundred mannequins and five humans. And you have to guess like 15 humans. And you have to figure out which ones are the humans. And they just move a little bit every so often. And I'm like,

there's no reason to think. If the other competitions were grappling, paramotoring, and swimming, I'd have been gutted. But there's no reason to think this competition offered. Even if it was like jumproping, or zigzagging or, you know, trivia.

But they're always kind of like random number generating like. Yeah, they're random. They're based on chance. And then, yeah, when you did the, when you talked about the water bottle flipping competition, Kyle and I both made the same face, because they've got a multi-million dollar budget. They're bringing all these people from all over the world.

And now we're going to play children's party games. It's like, I hear you. But the theme was a lot of stuff that was like big at the time. And I guess the water bottle flipping was kind of a trend. We did. I think it was to Harlem shake music or something like that. Like they were trying to bring back the 20 teens or something. So I see what they did there.

Yeah. Yeah. But maybe do the fancy version of bottle flipping, whatever that is. I don't know what that is. But you bet you could. You'd be good at this. With a little water squirted at them. Flipping a water bottle is easier if it's more full.

And I think they intentionally didn't put enough in there. See, my team would have won out. I'd immediately pissed in the bottle. That's good thinking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but then you have to take the whole jumpsuit off. No, I just got a little hole in there.

Would you have competed in it, Kyle, if Mr. B said this is a code names challenge? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would play code names at any. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yes. I will be the code master and I will leave my team to victory. I love code names. Yeah, especially in an environment like that where nobody could cheat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the whole thing was amazing. Oh, good. Oh, no, I was saying, I would be funny to see, Kyle spassing on these old school YouTubers for being like, that's clearly not what I meant. That's not.

You fucked the clue. This is not me. I do get angry at code names. I really do. It's like, why are you even playing? I get angry at code names. That's one of our favorite games.

Like I only discovered it a few years ago for our hangouts that we do. And it is now one of my favorite games. I got the real version. Like anytime we've got people over at my house, I'm like, I don't say let's play code. names, but my ear is listening for someone to mention code names so I can just like immediately,

yeah, everyone loves that. What's the point? How does it work? It has the best ideas. So there's a board with 25 words on it. And the words are often a little bit related, like ocean and sailboat and lake. Now, I need to give you a clue that gets you to say sailboat and lake, but not ocean, because that's the bad word.

That's for the other team or an instant loss or something. thing. And it just takes a little bit of forethought and it helps to know the code giver. Like, ah, Kyle is a computer programmer. So he would get a reference to this. He might have meant that or whatever. How many words are you allowed to give us a hint? One. One. One can. Oh, a single word, but it can pertain to as many words out there as you want. You add a numeral to indicate that. So a two-word clue, a clue that pertains to two of the words the word bank out there. It's kind of par for the course. A three is pretty strong and a four or a five is just bonkers. Only one six has ever happened. I don't remember who did that. It was me.

Oh wait. It was me. You fucking ass. You always try to steal like my little. He's literally doing what he's accusing me of. I remember one time, but you gave me. I remember one time Woody gave the clue foods and turkey was the other team's word. That's what I remember. But I everybody, remembers my six-banger. They call it the Kyle Six-Banger. They wanted me to change my Discord name to Kyle Six-Bangs. I don't know what you're talking about. Don't steal that. Don't steal that six-banger what he had. Don't steal Valor. You got to back me up in the lives. What are you doing? Kyle's a better clue giver than me. But you can't rate the clue guesser really because it's a team effort.

Maybe I'm overest. I honestly think I'm one of the better guesses in the in the discord. What clue would you give me an example you gave Ocean Lake and you can sailboat and you don't want me to guess Ocean? That is a hard one. Fresh water. So you can't say two words.

Oh. Yeah. Is freshwater? Freshwater. Freshwater is a compound word right? Yeah. Is it? I think I think that would test the rules. I thought freshwater also, but I thought it was two words. Why would I get a sailboat off of that, though? Well, there's only so many words. You're like, you know it's two.

Oh, okay. And you're definitely not going to say ocean. So usually one of them is like, the clue is a slam dunk for a word or two. And then you're like, he said three. What could the third thing be? And yeah, or sometimes the word. Process of elimination. You know, like, like, and there's multiple rounds of it.

And each one team has seven words they're trying to find and one team has eight. because one team goes first and one team goes second. It's very fun. You can have sort of an infinite number of people on each team and one guy is giving the clues and he's sort of in a cone of silence in his own Discord call by himself. He can't hear what they're collaborating about.

Can't see what they're collaborating about. And we end up screaming at each other over it. There's been absolute like people getting cursed out and bitched out over it. It's a good time. People get very upset. We play two games, mostly. We play more than two, but in the Patreon

like PKK hangouts that happen every month, check out the link in the description. It's mostly code words and geogessor. Oh, dude, I'm like king. What? Okay. You have a no problem. Hold that thought. So in code words, I started

below average and I think I've advanced to above average at this point. In geogessor, I am not making any improvements. I started below average and I think I've held on to that pretty tight. Yeah, same. I've learned nothing through our games.

I've learned nothing. Like, sometimes it will be, I will see American vehicles, and I'll see, like, tropical palm leaves and sort of maybe a cheap sort of, not third world environment, but it's like this is not where fancy people live. And to me, that's a coin flip between the region of the Pacific where, like, Singapore is and Hawaii.

I was going to go Puerto Rico, Hawaii. And see, like, if you do that, then you can be off by continents. You can miss by 5,000 miles doing that and get no points. And that will be the ruin of almost every one of my games. I'll be like, ooh, that's Pacific Northwest. No, that's Germany. Those are the mountains of Bavaria. That's not fucking Washington State.

Like Tasmania off the bottom of Australia looks almost like bang, bang on the same as like Oregon. Yeah, terrible at it. And we occasionally will have a guy in there who's a legit ace. And he'll be like, those are clearly Bulgarian bollards on that road, you imbeciles. That's what I was going to bring up, because I used to play it with, like, my childhood buddies. And I still keep in touch or whatever. And I have one friend who is like deep into the meta of Geogessor where he's like, oh, that traffic cone, that's a finished traffic cone.

And I think that takes away the magic of the game. It should be entirely vibes-based. It should be like, this feels like, Sweden. There's a lesser known game that's not well supported and it's essentially not a functioning game but it's ethno-guessor. I was just about to bring that up.

Yeah. There's like it's not well-supported. I think the game is a joke in its own right because like if you play ethno-guesser which shows you people's faces using and then you have to figure out where that picture was taken. At first you look this is a fun idea and then

quickly you're seeing the same old Mexican lady you saw last round and it's like, well, they didn't happen. There's only like 11 faces. Yeah. They'll put up it, they'll put up in an Aboriginal, we call that free space. As a professional racist, I'm very good at that game as well.

I'm not. I thought I knew the Asians, right? Like, oh, that's Chinese, that's Japanese, this is Korean, whatever. And if you're thinking you know them too, ask yourself, could you distinguish someone from like Singapore, from Vietnam, or Cambodia? Yes.

Cambodia and Vietnam would be darker. Yeah, slightly more brown. I think I don't love to play this man because I think I do have a bit of a talent for it. I think that I don't know about Uzbekia. I might struggle when we get into the weird parts of like... They look kind of Mongolian. People get all mixed up in certain parts of Eurasia.

So like it's a crap shoot. But I could definitely tell a Japanese fellow from a Singaporean. I think. Yeah, again, I'm a professional racist. I'm like 1930s, different kind of whites racist. I can tell what region of Italy your ancestors came from. Yeah. I mean, I'm kind of on the, I wouldn't call myself a professional racist.

I wouldn't say that out loud. Write that down. What part of Italy do Taylor's ancestors come from? South. Okay. South. Yeah. Still on the boot, not Sicilian, but they're, they're, they're, they're, they're

I'm a racist in training. I don't know. I could tell he was Italian, but I got a lot to learn. So you probably know this already, but at one point about 800 years ago, the Moors, who were black Arabs, came up from Northern Africa and raped and pillaged their way through Sicily and conquered it. They conquered it, and it was Moorish territory for, I don't know how long, a couple hundred years or something like that. And then I think a crusade pushed them back out. but there is forever a genetic impact on southern Italy where they have that dark olive complexion and they have dark oily greasy hair and they look like those greasers from like mob movies. I wish the Moors raped my ancestors. Maybe I'd remember more stuff. Yeah, but Kyle, you can fix that with acutane apparently.

Yeah. Or the reconquished. Then you burn in the sun like an Irishman. His genetic makeup gives them that recall of the spelling. It's good. I'm sure I'm sure Kyle is also remembering that. And you were wrong, by the way. Oh, yeah.

You were slightly wrong. You said southern Italy from my grandparents. South Central. They came from, or my grandma's family came from Sicily. And so they were way. Don't say that public. ever again. What's wrong with Sicily?

It's in Italy. Is that the Detroit of Italy or something? It's the mob haven. I knew that. That's like a little cool in a backwards way. They have like way more Morish influence. Yeah, because the mom gets bullied by the rest of Italy? No, no, Sicilians get bullied by the rest of Italy.

Yeah, for ethnic reasons, just because they're darker, they have moreish influence. It's like a wop, the slur for Italians. Those are northern Italians. Waple, meaning handsome, because they had blonde hair, blue eyes. But they're still technically Italian. So other, that's, that's inter-Italian racism we're discussing now. Yeah. Yeah.

You are, pro. Well, he knows. He knows what's up, man. I'm trying to go tit for tat and identify where King Trout's ancestors are from. I mean, German English. Is Crout your real last name? No, I'm guessing. Have you ever done a genetic?

Do you have the answer for this? I do have the answer, but not because I did it because I refuse to sell my genetic information at third parties. I think there's some Irish influence or some English influence and some Scandinavian influence. I think he's Austrian. What's you got, Taylor? He has a bad internet connection. Bad internet connection, yeah. English, German would be my guess.

maybe a little northern Europe a little finish a little well not finished no they're too Asian it would be he's got that Scarsguard forehead Swedish got some Scandinavian in him yeah winner is Kyle congratulations yeah my little sister did

like 23 a mere or whatever one of those bullshit things was but so like ethnically Irish and English people are essentially the same yeah we are almost entire we're like 80% just Angelo Anglo English, but our family was British, but Catholic. And so when Henry, King Henry took power and converted everything to Anglicanism so

that he could divorce his wife, they were like, fuck this shit and moved to Ireland. So kind of intermingling between British and Irish. But then my little sister is like telling us about these results. And she goes, and also we're 15% Scandinavian. Who to thunk? And I'm like, listen, I don't know if you've read a history book, but that was not voluntary. It could have been.

It's sort of a coin flip where it was voluntary or not because there was that long period where they settled. They were given all that land and you had a huge number of Scandinavians who just became English for what it's worth

and lived there and farmed the land and all that. That was all happening too. But if the Vikings come to England, who do you think gets the bitches? Well, that's partially. I've been making the statement I come from a long line

of strong men. I come from a long line of strong men and slow women, but... Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. No, I could see that. I could see that right away. I am also an A-tier.

I'm not going to call myself professional racist. I don't know what I'm... We'll look into it. I'm a genealicist. Race observer? I'm a race observer. Okay? It doesn't mean anything, but I'm very, very interested in it, nonetheless.

No, bro, I'm out in the streets measuring skulls. Yeah, Taylor's got that swore. the influence, so is Chis. Chis is like almost got nappy hair. Like I, I don't even like doing business with him. Well, I think he's mostly Spanish. Yeah, exactly. That explains it. Which we, you know, I feel like most of Europe looks down on them. Why? A little bit. Because they haven't done so hot in like the past couple hundred years. Oh. Hmm. Yeah. I guess. They're a I mean, they discovered the new world, essentially, right? They sort of funded it.

Did it. Yeah, they did a lot of good. Well, that was, you know, half a millennia ago. I guess so, but that's kind of a big one, I guess. What have you done for me lately, I suppose, is coming into play. I was right the other day what I was saying about PKK, I looked it up to confirm it, that Portuguese fencing champion, he literally wrote the book on, like, how to sword fight. It's called, like, uh,

the manual of fencing by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But one of his go-to techniques, he doesn't have sand in his pocket. He has a pouch of sand hanging off his hip like a holster, like the thing that bird hunters have, their shotgun shells in. And he's not just occasionally flicking a little sand. He's constantly sword fighting and throwing sand at you. Does no one else play the sand game? Nobody else picked it up and started throwing sand them.

I don't think he let he was the sandman tell the tail. The sandman the sandman yeah. Roel the sandman Gonzales weighing in at 110 pounds standing at four foot 10. Probably. So was it? It's awesome though. In the context of fencing or just like legitimate like in battle sword fighting? Both like like he was like a sword master of some kind and then like wrote a book about how to be a sword master.

He was a duelist, right? That's my understanding. Yeah. Yeah. Because that makes sense, like, in the context of battle, where it's like, dude, one of us is making it out of here alive, the other is not. But if it was like, we're playing this for sport and somebody throws a fistful of sand in my eyes, you're like, what the fuck, bro?

Yeah, this is an Olympic fencing. I think even, like, when they would have, like, duels, they would, I think a lot of them, they would go to first blood. Like, if they had, like, a duel over honor or something like that, I think it was a little bit like the gladiatorily arena. A lot of people survived their duels with like a cut or maybe even just they would do this thing where I challenge you to a duel. You know, you spit on my shoe or whatever and you accept it because honor's sake is there. And all these people saw you challenge me.

And we get there in the morning and we both literally shoot our guns straight up in the air to say we dueled and walk away. I was a little drunk last night when I said that. Sorry, bro. I think that's what Alexander Hamilton had in mind or his son. It was one of those. Aaron Burr blasted them in the chest. There's a Ridley Scott movie with Harvey Keitel called The Doolist, or maybe the Dueless, plural. And it's the true story.

It happened during the Napoleonic era. These two French officers got into a disagreement. And it was over nothing. One had been sent to fetch the other by a superior officer, and the other one didn't want to be fetched. And they got into an argument over that, a dual. takes place. The duel is interfered with by a woman and one of them wins clearly, but because the woman interfered, the loser doesn't like the outcome. And so they keep challenging each other to duels over the course of like 17 years. They fight like half a dozen duels with with different

kinds of swords in different locations with, you know, they have seconds with them and like, you know, they're like buddy who's there to like back them up and provide the weapons. And they, they, they, they, have pistol duels. It's a true story. It's like Highlander. It's yeah. It's a good. The movie's a little bit slow. They couldn't have been very good duelists if they did. No, they were previously injured multiple times and like there was always a reason why one of them didn't die. It was often interfered with or one of them one would get like fouled in a weird way and the other one couldn't claim victory honorably.

So it's like fuck. Well, well if you're just going to trip, I can't win the do. And it kept getting like five years later another duel three years later another duel they fought a bunch of times and i don't know it was more in real life than it was in the movie and even in the movie you're like he's still mad it's been 30 years it had been like i think it was like 17 years or something like that that they dueled each other back and forth and like grievously injured each other in almost every meeting like sword sword slashes and stabs and stuff have you heard the story about the like hot air balloon duel no Do they display bumper cars in this guy?

No, it was, it's been so long since I've heard the story. So I'm going to miss 90% of the details. But essentially the vibe was like, these guys agreed to a duel. And they were like, but we're going to do it in fucking hot air balloons. So both of them grab their guns. And then their seconds, like Kyle said, the guy who's standing there and handsy the pistol or whatever. And they're also piloting the hot air balloon. So they both take off.

And if I remember correctly, and this was like two, three years after hot air. air balloons were invented. They take off and then so they're just floating however far apart in the sky and they draw their pistol. First guy shoots, bang, completely fucking misses it. Other guy is aiming at the guy in the basket and I was like, wait a fucking minute and shoots the balloon and then they just like ripple out of the sky and crash to their death.

That shouldn't work. It shouldn't work. Blowing a hole open? Yeah, there's a hole in the top. Beed a beady, he'll. it wouldn't like rip open from the pressure no that's a question well it's not a helium balloon it's a it's a hot and it'll be made of silk uh or or something similar so it won't like rupture the same way that uh modern balloons would like a weather balloon if you pop it it just poof

comes apart yeah yeah so you're a liar i just said the link Mike, Mike, yeah, I made that story. I pulled it completely out of my ass. Did I ever tell you guys the story of the two dudes in France who doled on the back of dinosaurs? Oh, I already heard about it. Yeah. I don't know.

They were right about some stuff back then because they were drawn dinosaurs with feathers and shit. And then we had like a couple centuries of finding dinosaurs and being like, these motherfuckers didn't have feathers. and now we're back to feathers. A couple centuries. We just found out...

We just found out dinosaurs existed in like the 1860s. That's right. Like halfway through the Civil War, they were like, oh, fuck, what is this? Yeah. Really dinosaurs? Yeah, because there were those two guys who were in like the bone wars lying about their discoveries to try and one up each other. And they really... I think they set archaeology back more than they accelerated it by a lot because they just made stuff up.

This is a dumb question, but there's a big part of me that's like, what's a dinosaur exactly? Is an alligator a dinosaur? Is a shark a dinosaur? Is an ostrich a dinosaur? They usually use the, they say non-avian dinosaurs to separate the ostriches and similar ilk. I think they might have been warm-blooded like birds are. Some dinosaurs are worn-blooded or all? Well, they don't know, obviously, but they think all dinosaur. And also, like, what is a dinosaur was hundreds of millions of years. You know, like, they always talk about how, I think it's the Segasaurus and the T-Rex

are separated by more times than like, yeah, something like that, are separated by more geological time than we are to, like, the T-Rex or something like that. So, I just wonder if some of the things that were alive back then weren't alive now, would we just say those are dinosaurs? I agree with you saying that alligators are dinosaurs, which I am convinced if given enough time, every animal on the planet will evolve to become an alligator because they locked in 300 million years ago, haven't changed since. They got it figured out. It's crabs. Everything evolves to be crabs. It really is.

Because it's a really efficient mode of travel. Like there are all these crabs that aren't crabs. Apparently like that body design, the body design of the crab has been evolved into many, many times with completely separate lineages. Kind of like the way the eyeball has happened so many times. Is it convergent evolution? I'm a bad runner and I can run circles around. Any crab you know. Yeah, but if you had eight legs.

Yeah, exactly. You don't know that. Imagine a crab your size. He'd be scuttling around. you like a bandit. Omidirectional travel. And if he loses a leg, who cares?

They grow back. That is dope, man. It looks like at this little mouth parts. If scaled up, it's like cockroaches. If a cockroach was the size of like a car, they could run it like 800 miles an hour. I have shrimp in my reef tank,

my saltwater fish tank. And I don't know, but they lose legs every so often. And then you think you have a dead shrimp in your hand and before you realize he just molted. And sure enough, there was a leg in there. He grew back. It's kind of cool.

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Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registration, for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. I'm looking at here. It says crabs. Crabbs haven't evolved from a single starting point, rather the iconic crab-like body shape, has independently evolved at least five separate times

across various non-crab lineages. This evolutionary phenomenon is scientifically known as carcinization. Oh, like there's literally a term for everything becoming crabs? Yeah, yeah. Everything becomes crabs. It's the move. We become crabs someday. I wouldn't want to be a crab.

What holds the record for longest without changing evolutionary lives? Sharks. Sharks have been basically sharks since before trees. They're older than trees. Yeah, like 400 million years

or something crazy like that. If you look at those sharks from back then, you recognize that as clearly a shark. Like it's the same torpedo body shape, the same fins, the same big mouthful of teeth and the shark seems to be pretty perfect thing is true

but it just I just can't make that compute like older than trees like that just doesn't make like so everything was some other vegetation there was yeah absolutely there was there were ferns they were fern like things

and maybe bamboo like things but there weren't trees that were made of cellulose huh are ferns not made of cellulose not when they show the pictures of the ferns I'm talking about they don't look like a fern that you would call a fern they look like a proboscis growing out of the ground with some like palm leaves on top yeah because that was back when it was that paints a picture like it's like a weird alien appendage just growing out of the ground it doesn't look like a tree it doesn't look like a modern fern yeah because those things came about back when it was bug planet yeah what a terrible time to be a A seven-foot dragon fly. A carboniferous era or something like that when the planet was super oxygenated.

Yeah, that's the most terrifying time in all of history. Like I would, living with dinosaurs, let's go. What are they going to do? Eat me quickly and then I'll die. Living in a world where I'm worried about a mosquito, the size of my head or a wasp bigger than, you know, like this big, you know, eight inches wide or something like that, I'm terrified of all of those things. They had milipedes.

Oh, dude, you get you get bit by one of those giant mosquitoes. You're going to, you're going to wither up like the end of saving Private Ryan where Matt Damon. Sucks your life for us. It's going to suck you fucking dry, dude. Yeah, you. It's absolutely. Spiders that be the big issue for me. Everyone's just scared of spiders for no reason.

But to me, the part where they wrap you up and store you late for later on their web, I don't like that part. There weren't anything to do that. There were no she love. spiders but there were those giant like I get millipedes and centipedes mixed up but the big armored shilled multi-legged long things were like yeah those are nine feet long and like two or three feet wide you know they would have weighed like 80 90 pounds and like just like just last week in england they found a uh um like the fossil of a scorpion that was like fucking four and i half feet long they said it was like the size of a dog basically oh oh yeah

Scorpions are my most hated creepy crawly. Like, I don't have, like, one of those phobias, like a revulsion where I would flee from it if I saw one on the ground. But if one crawled in my sleeping bag, I'd be making some pretty high-pitched squeals on the way out. You know what I mean? I'd be pretty scared. Do you have Scorpions? It's got too many weapons. I have seen scorpions.

It's got a cage. Like, I remember one time we rented a lake house and something about that damp, lakey environment. There were some really tiny scorpions. lit like in the bottom of the bathtub one night. But I went to Texas and we splunk down into this cave system about maybe 30, 40 feet

down. It opened up into this cavern and the, it was full of glow in the dark, creepy thrallies that luminous and were like on the walls. And you could see scorpions that were about, not big, like small enough that I wasn't scared enough. Yeah, like an inch, maybe

two inches, but that seems like it was pushing it. Little scorpions were everywhere though. And they, and they, They glowed. That was pretty fucked. That's it. Yeah, because I got him here in San Antonio. And I've been stung in my sleep. And there are no deadly ones here. I think they're barked scorpions, I think.

But like you said, yeah, they're only like, you know, that big on the bigger end. But the weirdest, like symptom of this thing, because they feel just like, you know, like hornet stings or, you know, bees things or whatever. But I think it's something in their venom is like a dire, or not a diuretic, but it basically, they give you diarrhea. So like if you get stung by scorpions, especially multiple times, this specific kind, like you like you get diarrhea from it. It's weird as hell. Hmm.

I've never been built by a scorpion. I have seen them. I have seen. I went on a whitewater rafting trip at the Grand Canyon. And there are tons of scorpions on that. I got bit by a brown recluse probably one month ago, like right on my belly. I was sleep. Second time I've been bit because they're all over Missouri,

but I was sleeping in the downstairs of my grandparents' house when we were there. And I woke up with just a big wealth. And I was like, okay, I think I know what this is because I've been bit one of these on the forearm before at my house. And it's still not 100% gone. Were you low-key hoping for enough necrosis for a six-pack? Come up, idiot. I would have needed a whole team of these guys. I wouldn't need the whole squad to come out.

But no, it just, but it swells up a good bit. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck bug bit me. I was looking up like bug bites online. You surely seen it wasn't until the swelling went down. The worst. It wasn't until the swelling went down a little bit. I could see the two teeth. You've seen like, if you do a Google image search on like recluse spider bite,

you will get horrific. horrific stuff where people lose like most of their quad and when you said you got bit out it like well he would have mentioned it if he lost his quad but that that can be super bad when you when the bram recluse spider bit you were you dueling in a hot air balloon I was sleeping yeah so I must have rolled onto it in the middle of the night and it got spooked it was in Missouri Missouri I guess because it's your grandparents yep I don't even know if I've ever seen one for sure We've got a lot of spiders in Georgia, but I always remember being terrified of them and hearing the story about the guy who got bit on his dick. And there was like one under the toilet seat and it like bit his dick and his dick rotted off because he was too embarrassed to go to the doctor with a spider bite on his dick or something like that.

And that always stuck with me. Like don't be too embarrassed to go to the doctor if you get bit on the dick by a spider. Like I'm going right away. I'm going to my dick's out. I'm waving it in the waiting room. Look. Look! You're helicoptering at the ER check-in.

Yeah, sorry, Taylor, I had to take a fist in the middle of your brown or clue story. Did you die or how'd that fan out? No, not dead. Oh, okay, good. I think unless it's like a big one, you're mostly fine. And it also depends on like your age. So if you're young and like mostly healthy, it kind of just creates a big lump. And like I was saying a little earlier, like I didn't know what it was until the swelling went down a little bit.

And then the internet was like, look for two. small like puncture wounds at the center of it. And then I saw that and I'm like, oh, okay, I'm almost a little relieved. Now I at least know what this mystery bite on my midsection is. But it's still, it's, well, it's pretty much gone now. But yeah, they're not to be trifled with those brown recluse. They're not like widows, but they're still bad. Well, I'm sure everybody here's seeing the pictures of like when it gets necrotic and kind of like rots out.

Because that happened to one of my aunts when she was like in her 20. he's got bit by one and they essentially had to take like an ice cream scoop of meat out of her because it started rotting. Oh. Yeah. You ever see when the people have like a necrotic flesh and they use the maggots to eat away the bad flesh rather than cutting because the maggots will only eat dead flesh? Seems like that's a good idea. Like medical maggots. Medical maggots.

They've got like special medically bred maggots that are they, you know, like that, you know, like that's. having a container called medical maggots and they're putting them on there and they like bandage it back over the maggots and give you a couple days of being eaten alive. And then you come back in and they're like, oh yeah, as they wash the maggots away and it's nothing but pink flesh. And it's not smooth. It's like perforated like, oh yeah. There's something in their bite that's a painkiller, which I thought was really interesting. So it's like soothing. I heard it tickles a little bit. I've never done it. And it's also like like Kyle implied a current modern thing. Like maggots have made a comeback as a really good way to remove dead flesh.

And with leeches. There are like medical leeches that they to, if you have, especially like skin transplants, if you get like a really bad burn or something, they will take like sterile medical leeches and put them on the flesh to draw blood into like the whatever skin or meat that otherwise your body would reject and isn't putting like blood into apparently.

to draw blood into the area that maybe doesn't have great circulation because it's implant flesh. Wow. Well, and they also, they release like a blood thinner because I don't know if any of you all have been bit by a leech. Yeah. Because when you yonke them off, it just bleeds and bleeds and bleeds. I've never seen a leech in real life. Really? I've only seen them in the movies when, you know, like great outdoors when everybody gets out of the water and they're covered up.

Never seen a real one. That happened to me in real life. in Canada, and there was a part of this like nature trail that we were on where we had to basically like ford or river and it was knee deep. So we all took off our our shoes. It was the intensity of the trail that I hiked was vastly undersold to me. So I did not plan accordingly. Had to take off my shoes and then like, you know, Huckleberry fin my jeans or whatever. And we all ford this river. Get out on the other side and I had like fucking six leeches on both of my legs. Were they like on your shins? Yeah. Like on my calves.

Yeah, in 30 seconds. And you don't feel them. Do you burn them off or you just rip them off? You're not supposed to. They're kind of like ticks. Like there's an inappropriate way, but I was panicking because they're a gross yucky bugs on my legs. So I just ripped them all off.

And then they leave that little circular like jaw mark and it just pours like the thinest, brightest red blood that's ever come out of your body. I don't like that. When I was little, that sort of happened to my friend. Like we went swimming. I didn't get any leeches. But it's almost like the movie stand by me. but there wasn't a leech on his dick,

but it was in his bathing suit. You just suck the poison out. Well, obviously. So he like pulled the leech out from in his bathing suit, and I'm scared to death that I'm, you know, I've got some issue too, but I didn't.

I don't know if it bled much. Yeah. Yeah, those are just another one of God's horrible creatures. Yeah. Unless you've had a skin transplant. Apparently so, yeah. You know, God.

God has his motives and his ways that we won't understand. He was wild and out with the scorpions and the leeches. He was just like, what can we make? And the wasps. All the parasitic wasps already. Oh, yeah, wasps are eternal and evil. Wasps are the most evil creature that exists. Like, especially parasitic wasps.

Like, there aren't just one or two kinds of parasitic wasps. I think there are dozens and dozens of different parasitic wasps that have all evolved to lay their eggs into variously different creatures and then have them hatch inside them and eat them alive from the inside out. Like nature has done that way too many times for there to be a god, or at least one who cares. The bot fly. Yeah, that's a human body. Yeah, because, well, there's another thing. The screw worm, it's called. Just came back across the board.

This is my latest YouTube video, not to self-promote. But those things are disgusting. If you Google like what they do, because they're like one of the only species of flies that the maggots eat living flesh and not dead flesh. And so there's a really famous video used to go around. This is back like eBombs World Days. But of somebody who's like being, it's like some, you know, South American man. And they kind of like pull up his shirt. And there's just a crater out of him with like active maggots eating his flesh.

but yeah those things just came across the border from Mexico again for the first time in like 40 years I saw that he didn't he didn't like immediately handle that like start picking him off like he was very blasé about the situation he's just being eaten alive from the inside it is what it is these things happen there was a don't be a baby tamer went down there was a girl there was a plane crash in the amazon and like a teen girl got got lost out there and she was having to pick the bot flies out of her arm with like she had like a keychain and she like straightened it out so she had this short dark little hook of metal and she was having to hook the bot flies out of her like forearms and stuff and pull them out. That's what happens when you don't carry it multi-tool. Stupid bitch.

He's flicking out as Gerber to pull out the bot flies. It'd be perfect. But the most dangerous thing to do in Brazil isn't even botfly related. It's apparently bungee jumping. Oh my God. Well, you got to hook the bungee to the guy.

Oh, you should have said something. They just threw this girl to her death. And no one was like, wait, hold on. What was that one thing we're supposed to do? Oh, attach the bungee. Oh, clip the hook to the bridge. I knew there was something I was seen the video. You maybe find the video and just show a still of like her launch position, if you will.

Like she is arms straight out to the side, basically making herself like a bird or an airplane. And they have her like over their heads, like two or three guys. And they let, they give her this big heave ho off the side of a bridge. And they didn't connect the fucking bungee to her. So what you might not have seen is the second camera angle that's further down the bridge and peering downward. So you can see, you know, the bungeying of that happened up and down. Dude, without the bungee, it's just jumping. It's just jumping.

There's so very clearly nothing attached to this woman in the video. I just watched it. They just huck a bitch off a bridge. They, they huck her off. and she goes straight to the bottom and hits, you know, the ground. She died. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

Really? If she hadn't died, we need to immediately get her on some sort of superhero team. Like, we need to figure out how she survived, does she had survived that? Because they threw off a fucking bridge. It's a couple hundred feet. Yeah, if I'm in a bungee jump, I want to do it in like America, Canada, England. somewhere where I think they've got it together, not somewhere where they just forget and huck you.

And I guarantee that wasn't even the last jump of the day. They're like, oh, maybe not so good. Remember that bungee this time. I don't think I've ever bungee jumped. I would. Seems like it's fun and easy, but. Am I crazy to say that I don't like the part where you're upside down and I'd rather bungee jump upright?

Is there any downside to putting the rope around your neck? I think of it might. I was imagine a climbing harness, which would ride up tremendously, I suppose. But it does seem like a gentle, like, catching that the bungee does. But I just don't like the idea of being dangled by my feet. I don't like the position that bungee jumping happens in. When you hit the butt, dude, if you were wearing like a harness like that, it would smash your pee-p because it, as,

as it looks in the videos, I mean, you're still falling at whatever terminal velocity is for a human being. But you kind of like, this is 150. Yeah. You kind of like whip back. I mean, yeah, like, I've seen one, I saw a guy do a thing one time where just at what I'll call the apex of the stretch of the bungee, he goes click, click and releases himself and like walks away. Just gently fall. Like it was like a Batman style. Yeah.

He gets right. He goes, boing. And he goes, click, click. And he just takes a step and walks away in front of everything. I'm curious about the mechanism that released that smoothly under that much tension. Yeah. It must have been some sort of, what do they call that? A three ring circus, I bet, is what they use.

I've seen the one where the guy comes down and dips the cookie in the tea or whatever. You know, like. Yeah. The guy who dips the cookie in the tea? What are you talking? Yeah, yeah, they got a little cup of tea down there. waiting and he's coming down with one of the little little English biscuits and he

right at the bottom. Get me a little dunk. Oh, that's fun. That's probably what that girl was imagining. Moments before she's splattered. That's so terrible. That's so unimaginably terrible a way to die.

You're on vacation and then you just get thrown off a bridge by retards. I bet the people that threw her were buckled in. I bet they had all the safety straps on. Yeah, you could see in the clip. Like they had like a whole like harnessy thing on. Yeah, absolutely they were. I watched it. I hadn't seen it before just now. It is a phenomenal amount of negligence involved. Like she, yeah, you would expect to see the bungee. They're holding her Superman style. There's no bungee nearby. They toss her. It seemed to take a minute or a second or two for

them to like it recognized. Like oh, I'm forgetting something. Well, if I forgot it, it probably wasn't important. Yeah. They have a checklist. That would be so bizarre to happen to someone you do too. Like, you know, if your uncle goes from a heart attack or something, it's traumatic and it's terrible and like, oh, Uncle Jeff. But

if Jeff gets thrown off a fucking bridge in Mexico by some incompetence, that's a weird one to even process. You have to keep telling that story to friends and family like explaining exactly this bizarre thing that happened. What a whack-a-do

situation. I hope there's some way to sue those people. They'll take it for everything. Yeah, all nine, all US dollars. These people can't even afford bungeys at the bungee company. They got this great scam going on. Yeah. No, they had a bungee

because young Americans on a bridge. No, they had a bungee because the person filming it from the back, like, walked up afterward and you could see a giant bungee spooled up not in use. Like, it was there. They just didn't, you know,

do the only thing you're supposed to get the bungee. They forgot step one of one attached the bungee cord. That's the 200 IQ play, right? Not putting a necessary wear and tear on the bungee cord. Yeah. This is going to run forever.

21-year-old girl to her horrible, painful was she 21? That's so sad. Yeah, it's horrible. It's awful. It's awful. It's, it's, it's, that's the only way to handle a death this terrible is, you know, trying to joke through it because it's really reprehensible. It's just, it's a horrible thing that happened

but it's, it's a cartoonishly comical way to die. It is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you know, this is like when the, the, the fucking coyote shoots the rocket and instead of traveling, it just blows up in his face or something. This is goofy. Because it's the one thing they've got to do is buckle you. I've seen other bungee company, bungee companies where they, they do a whole rigumero about, oh, is he hooked up?

or not or oh whoopsie daisy they give you a little scare at the end do they do that on those roller coasters that just do the big drop sometimes you got to be like oh hang on i almost forgot to hook you in and then drop them like you know stuff like that yeah they just threw her to her fucking death how do you forget to do the one thing that you do and it's like it's different than those like india train luneitunes deaths because like this girl didn't make a bad decision other than deciding to go bungee jumping in brazil yeah she went bungee jumping in brazil That's a bad decision. But like, she was like, all right, I'm going to have a fun time.

And then after this, we're going to get tacos or whatever. Meanwhile, like in India, you'll see those guys. And do you ever see the ones that, like, are hanging out the side of a rapidly moving train, like with their arms out? Yes. And then they just get clipped by a gigantic metal pole. And it's like, you've been passing these poles regularly on the train. Like, this wasn't a surprise pole. Like, you knew that this happened.

that pole stuff hits hard okay um but like and the second it happens i'm like okay maybe he's all right maybe maybe it would like it's a hard hit and i recognize it doesn't give it all so it looks dangerous but every once in a while people are more durable than you'd guess and sometimes the opposite and then you look and you're like oh that's his shoulders in a different spot now right the whole thing has been moved forward or that arm is not here anymore. Like the damages are bad. Oh, yeah. Or that head's gone.

Yeah, I was going to say their or his heads exploded. Because I was looking into it. And apparently it's like a cultural thing, like a bravery thing to like show how like how hard you are. Like, oh, I'm a big tough guy. Like I'm not even worried about how close I am to death. And that's why they always like recorded on it's like it's basically like they're chasing clout like showing how. is that. Yeah.

Yeah. As some folks might say. Have you ever seen the one where there's a really hot, naked woman in the passenger seat of the car? And she's out the window with the top half of her body, backward, sort of like, woo! And then they pass a mailbox, and the mailbox hits her at like 60 miles per hour and kills her.

Yeah, that's avoidable. You go the full, like, all the emotions when you watch that video. At first you're like, yeah! And then by the end, you're just, no! You're like, I'm horny. I'm sad. I'm horny again. Yeah, and 15 seconds flat. You make the full range of emotions, which is that.

It's pretty fucking. I was looking for it just now. She's really hot. She was really hot before the mailbox anywhere. I can't find it. You made it up. Yeah, Kyle, do you want to tell us a little bit? Oh, is it time?

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which we'll get to next week again, we like to let them build up and pick and choose. or if you want to be a $50 patron and come and challenge us at code names you will lose you will lose and you will be embarrassed and you might get a geogenerate though

we've got so many degenerates in there like not just gamblers but just weirdos that's there's I get a little I get them confused the characters that are in our discord sometimes I think and I'm sorry if I'm casting aspersions to the wrong

person I think it's the same guy who inherited a large amount of money and then wrote to Woody about hey Woody I inherited let's call it six or seven hundred thousand dollars I've squandered most of it I'm currently like traveling the world and indulging in prostitutes and cocaine and I don't know what my end game is here and I think it's that guy um and now I think that he's really into doing lots of hard drugs and transsexual prostitutes because he just randomly That was the advice I gave him. I'm glad that he followed it to the tea.

To the tea. Hard drugs, trans prostitutes. That's a winning combination. So like randomly in the party chat, like in the discord, in the open group thing, he's just like, hey, boys, I got a big dick girl coming over in about 15 if anyone wants to see me get corded out. And like everybody's reacting with cord out. What the fuck? I wish I saw that.

in time I absolutely would have said obviously. Yeah. And then like 10 minutes later, he sends like a quick little 10 second video of a trans woman with big fake tities in a bed sort of like getting herself warmed up for his ass. And it was, I was like, dude, save that energy for the hangout. Okay. And he's like, yeah, but that's so far away. So fingers crossed, homie is not only listening to this, but also he brings one of his trans prostitutes to the hangout because that'd be a heck of a show. That'd be a heck of a show.

Taylor loves that shit. Oh. Honestly, his face right now, he's clapping. How much is one of his trans prostitutes? And is it something the show wants to fund to make sure it happens? It seems like he's got plenty of money. He hasn't squatted it all away.

And like the part of the mention is I think he sells the hard drug. do so he's doing okay yeah entrepreneurial advice in the patreon hangout just to say yeah yeah the dudes the dudes a real well he's something um he's a member of the community yeah i don't know how much they cost if i had a guess just throw a number out there i'd say a couple hundred bucks would get you get you going pretty good i bet do you think trans prostitutes i'm trying to put my uh economic supply and demand background and are they more or less than regular prostitute i think it depends on how passable because there are far fewer what you would be like, ooh, that's a hot one trans prostitutes than there are just prostitutes just by the very nature, you know?

Like if you go on like back page or whatever and you look at the prostitutes in your area, you won't have to scroll too long where you're like, wow, all right, I got $500. That's a good looking lady. I don't know what the same is true for the trans prostitutes. I think you got a smaller number you're starting with. I think there's some I think and I think $200 gets you in there good

I will have to ask him you know I'm sure he could fill us in on what it's costing him yeah yeah yeah I don't think he keeps a lot of secrets he has no costing him his entire inheritance apparently I have literally watched him

live stream himself do drug deals he's outside I think he did that in one of the hangouts it was like what the hell is going on here who's that guy who just walked over drugs. He either, I think he, I don't, you know, if he's selling cocaine and I'd say he's selling meth, he'd be like offended, right? But he was selling something. He was probably selling meth. And he's like outside an apartment sitting in like a lawn chair and somebody comes up and does like a

hand-to-hand with him. They're like, yeah, a little bit of this. Catch you the flip side. And they're like, walk away a little bag of powder. And he's like, yeah. All right. Well, let's see how the rest of the day goes. And it's like, dude, you're doing drug deals in her hangout? But I'd much rather see that he gets his lady friend involved because nothing entertains me more than making Taylor uncomfortable, like truly uncomfortable. And I think that that would get us there. I think you're right. Yeah. I think I would be off put by that.

Because the whole time I'd be like, the clue givers got to get going. Like, come on. Like you've had five minutes. Like give us a clue. Because we're playing code names at the same time. Yeah. We're not going to play code names if he's getting trans hookers in the hangout. It's all eyes on that.

We're making that the big screen. Sometimes I wonder how I got into this world, right? Like this isn't the path I was on. I was a senior software architect at a Fortune 500 company. And now we're like talking about, hey, if you join the Patreon, there's a non-zero chance. Watch the guy get cored out by a trans prostitute and two drug deals. And court out has to me the most vile way to say that, I can imagine. I made that part up.

I can't remember what it. He said something similar. He said something similarly like, like, I'm going to, I'm going to just do to find it. But, but it wasn't cord out. It was like stroked out or like, get his ass blown out. It was, he said something like that. And I bet all the other comments in general chat at the time were like, hey, does anybody want to play Rust? And he's like, yeah, I got news, boys.

like yeah everybody's talking about like normal shit like music or politics or some internet video or UFC or whatever and then just out of nowhere who wants to see me get cord out and I'm looking for it

because then I can also find the video did you say hard in the taint the did you say hard in the taint the second time yeah hard on the taint it was a little roboty but it's solid I like it I like it

Woody, do you think that the UFC fight card was, if not the greatest, one of the top three greatest fight cards of all time, at least, as far as spectacle and the quality of the fights goes? I'm really torn on that. So on one hand, yes, I can't remember another card where every single fight ended in a stoppage. So that's amazing. That's what people like. On the other hand, I remember going into it being like, normally there's an A side and a B. but this is all AC, A-D, right? Like, Lopez got a knockout.

Garcia? Like, I follow this sport. I know that guy. And it seemed like, you know, and what, that 40-year-old heavy white, was it Curtis Blades? What was his name? The dude that lost a hot, hot kit. Oh, Derek Lewis. Well, okay, so to be fair with that one, that was directly on the president's invite.

That fight wasn't on the card until Donald Trump asked for it. Right. But it is another example of, like, what seems like a mismatch. that guy's over 40, he's fat, he was exhausted by the time he climbed the octagon steps. Like he was, so the reason there were so many knockouts

was because it seemed like there were a lot of mismatches. So on entertainment value, it was kind of an A plus, but it didn't really answer a lot of questions. There was only one upset all night long. Well, I thought with, well, the co-main and the main were both like hard fought.

You didn't know who was going. Well, the Pereira, gone fight. I thought it was a really good fight. I enjoyed that fight and I had no idea who was going to win going in. I had said gone but immediately I was like regretting saying gone because I thought

Pereira looked good. I thought his kick he was going to throw a head kick and just catch gone but that ain't what happened gone stung him with that jab and then it looked I've seen a lot of replays and stuff it looks like he threw at least three illegal shots to the back of the head

and maybe four I watched a video where they go frame by frame with a kid. Okay. Yeah. And it looked that bad to me. And then, of course, everybody's playing the videos of Pereira beating Iri Pruasca, and he's just hammering elbows into the back of his head, you know. And then they showed his reaction to Tom Aspinall getting eye poked.

He's grinning about it that gone has eye poked him. It's harder to feel sorry for him after all that. I didn't see that. I thought that was a great fight. Can I hit it back on that? that fight. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think the illegal blows decided the fight. It's unfortunate that they happened. I hope he doesn't have any like CTE from it, but I thought that fight was 95% decided before the illegal blows. And had he done the same thing with legal blows, it would have not

have made a difference. It wasn't like some guy got, you know, need to the head while he was down and wasn't even defending himself and that changed the way the fight was going to unfold or an eye poke. Nope. They were just part of the finishing blows that Pereira had lost that fight before the blows, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with all that. Gone is so big. Gone is very slick and faster than he should be.

But then he's lost some fight. MMA math doesn't work. We found that out for sure with the main event. Because Ilya, who's taken out Max Holloway, who's taken out Charles Oliva. can't take out Justin Gachie, who's lost to those guys. Not even close. Well, actually, I thought in the second round when Justin dropped to the liver punch, if Ilya had just stood there and tried to make him rise,

I don't think he would have been able to get right back up from the liver punch. And then he falls on him and goes for the submission and fails the submission, and we go to round three. But he almost beat Justin Gagy in round two with that nasty liver shot. But my God. but the tides turned after that and his face just got beaten off of his little body in a way that was kind of hard to watch. You could hear the strikes really well because the crowd was only 4,500 strong. And so it was that really good in between between what we had with the apex cards during COVID and what we normally have in the big T-Mobile arenas.

You could hear those meaty plops when he would hit Pereira's wet, bloody face. And I remember they were like, it was either, it may have been. DC. He was like, it's the bone. There's a protrusion. The bone is a protrusion. I thought he was right at the time. He wasn't. No, it was just like bruised. There was something

pokey in his like by his cheekbone orbital and I saw it and I thought it was a bone protrusion. And then later I heard he had one or two broken orbitals and I was like, oh my gosh, that's what I saw it too. Okay. And then I heard they were non-displaced.

And if you're not used to breaking bones, that means that Like while the x-ray can pick up the fracture, everything is exactly where it belongs and it's just kind of reheal. So that was not a bone sticking out. That would be a displaced. I'd love to see that x-ray. I'd love to see that x-ray because I've seen him in the hospital and he looks horrific. His eyes are still closed. He looks fucked up.

And Gaci looks fine. That's, yeah. I was going to say, like, immediately, A, I am very surprised that his team didn't throw in the fucking towel at the end of the that round. I mean, the doctor, well, I thought the doctor called him out. Yes. It's not up with the doctor. Yeah, the ref, the ref said, fuck it. The doctor is there to advise the ref. So the doctor was like, no, this is it. And what they said was, and what the ref said afterwards was, that's an inexperienced doctor. He doesn't do this normally. He's wrong. We're good to go. And I didn't think we were good to go. I wanted more. And when they could

And you defy, I cheered. But at the same time, it was like, if that was my fighter, if that was my brother, if that's my They're killing. They're killing him. We got to throw the towel in. I don't have any special love for Toporia. But if they had stopped the fight right there, I wouldn't have thought it was an early stoppage. No.

He said at the end of, because it went to four. Yes. Yeah. And so at the end of the third round, when he went back to his corner, I'm pretty sure, if I'm remembering correctly, he said, I can't see out of of my right eye. Yeah, you did say that. Which usually means, like, stop the presses. There's no more questions.

This fight is cooked. It's done. We're stopping it. I've never seen a fight continued after. The fighter is supposed to lie if he wants to keep fighting in that situation. That's kind of the unwritten rule. You tell the doctor that everything's fine, that you can see. If he tests you, you try to fake it.

That's what you do if you want to fight with one eye. You don't say, this one right here, I can't see out of it. and the doctor's like, all right, stop it. And the ref is like, nah, be a man. Put it back in, pussy. I like it. It's one of the worst beatings I've ever seen. I've seen some bad cuts, like some really gnarly cuts,

but they didn't necessarily go alongside with tremendous beatings. The beating that Toporia took, like the cumulative damage, the amount of really damaging head strikes he took, might be unmatched. It might be unmatched. Rory was really fucked up when he fought Robbie Lawler and his nose.

That's a good one. Obviously, Yonahecheck, like her head swelled up, like a chupacabra from the X-Files. That's a good reference, if you don't know it, look it up, people. And I definitely, like I said, I got another one.

Gichi Ferguson. Gae Ferguson. Okay. Gaei was just hitting that guy at 100% for four rounds. Ferguson didn't know he should be knocked out by now, it would seem. It was wild. That might be just as bad.

I don't know. I remember his face. I remember when Michael Chandler, who lost on the card, embarrassingly, kicked Tony Ferguson under the chin with that crazy teep. And his face is accelerating so fast, or his skull is, rather, that his face can't keep up. And it looks like he's in one of those NASA centrifugees. and his and he's being exposed to like 10 gs because his whole face hasn't caught up to his skull yet it's accelerating away from his body so fast and it's just all mushed and that's one that's a really

bad beating too as an old man it is depressing to watch michael chandler fight because he looks amazing amazing i can't give this guy enough credit on his conditioning it i i i i i feel like from the neck down, he hasn't taken a step backwards from the time he was 21. And he's 40, 40, right? He's not 31, some, you know, or 34, like kind of on the tail end. 40. He should be six years into his retirement, but he fought two weeks ago. And he looked incredible. But somehow, just like athleticism is taken from you in ways that you can't see. And I don't think he ever wins a fight again unless he drops down to like World Series, I don't know, some lower

level promotion. Yeah, how old he's age? 37 maybe? He's 37. Oh, so he's like Cowboy Serroney age. He should fight one more and retire. Like he'll make so much to fight his chance. Yeah, he'll fight so he'll make, and he's got a lot of pop on his name because of what he just did.

If he could turn around and get one and fight it before Christmas, like he'd secure himself another $2 million or something like that. He's on a hundred 180 day medical suspension I just saw this morning. 180? Mm-hmm. That seems like actually.

Well, that still gets him in before, you know, when you get knocked around, you get a concussions. They put you on a, they don't let you fight for several months so that you don't die. Yeah. Which is that, sorry. Oh, sorry. I was going to say the, as soon as that fight was over, yeah, I immediately tweeted or whatever. I was like, I was genuinely concerned that Tepriya was going to, like, die of brain bleed

because I've seen so many interviews with Gaichi or not gaichi with like top tier fighters and every time they're asked like who hits the hardest it's their answer is always fucking gaichi and then yeah so many reports of Toporia dying from his injuries in that fight I would believe me. The first time I saw it I'm like nah

the second time I saw it I was like let's verify not true and then I see it like a third fourth fifth six times that this man died from it I'm like, let's re-verify it, see if he's died this time. Because it was plausible. Yeah. Yeah, that could have been another round.

Like, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not crazy to think that Gachi might have beaten him to death if they'd given him another round of that punishment. He was, Gaichi was seemingly losing no power. Like he was hitting just as hard and he was connecting more and more and his target was getting well. and his target was getting wetter and meteor as the fight went on. It was amazing that they put that show on for the White House for that card. I just want to talk about the spectacle of the White House card. Like fights aside, they knocked it out of the park. I had no part of that that I think it looks cheap or low rent or cheesy.

There were parts of it that I thought were like, you. like why aren't we walking out of the Oval office or like why is why is there this big at the very beginning Trump and Dana White are walking shoulder to shoulder from the Oval along the that little out outdoors porch area that has all the presidential photographs or whatever and there and there are like these trumpets playing these like Roman royal like these really triumphant trumpets and I'm like this is some propaganda shit and then some of the commercials I thought were very like upsetting for me.

Like that Enderil commercial, like we are America's. We are America's arsenal. We are the arsenal of democracy. When our enemies showed their dirty fucking heads, we blow them all. Terminators powered by AI. They did the same shit during the Super Bowl, though. You watched it like a Dodge Ram commercial during the Super Bowl. It's like, Dodge Ram, America's, if you want to get your dicks up because you love this country,

we were founded on the morals. the exact same shit. But Andrew kills people. Well, fair enough, yeah. But I mean, fucking Boeing runs ads during the, during the, you know, the military commercial had a clip of what. The military commercial used actual drone footage of people dying. Like, you watched people explode. I missed that.

Like a wedding. It was, there was the Houthis. There was this, when we bombed the Houthis like months and months back because they were clogging up the straight or whatever or pirating or whatever they were doing, there was this. there was this meeting of like Uthi leaders or something or at least like a powwow of some kind where they were in this big oval of like men standing in you know in a field or something and then we airstruck the shit out of it and turned the oval into a big smoky fiery wreckage that was in the commercial that was played during the fights I was like yes fuck they just died I didn't see that commercial but I still agree with pretty much everything you said like it didn't look cheap

it didn't look low rent it didn't bother me that fighters were walking out of the white house or looking at the Declaration of Independence, like, yeah, if you've got that as a said, as a backdrop, then use it. And also, like you said, I wish it was less political. Like, it shouldn't have been about Donald Trump. It shouldn't have been something that's like a political rally of any sort. There was one commercial that had like,

it was like a be proud to be American, like right down the middle commercial. And it had clips of multiple presidents giving like, There was JFK, like, we do these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hot. And then it goes on, there's like an FDR, like a day, which will live in infamy. And there's like maybe Jimmy Carter saying, like, I think that was the intro actually. Like lots of it. And then Obama's there. And Obama has, like, I'm like, oh, great, he's going to be apolitical here.

And then we get Hockett. First of all, I knew Hockett was going to, I would have bet the house on Hockett being Derek Lewis. Everything about that fight was mismatched and put Derek Lewis in a, corner. You had a light, fast, combo throwing, stamina, crazy NFL talent who's 27 versus a 41-year-old who's always been a fat, slobber knocker who has one move in his arsenal, and it's the whole B power punch, and he's always fat. He always has no cardio. And where are we fighting? A nice air-conditioning arena? Is he about to come out of a 60-degree room where he's been chilling all day? No, it's hot as balls. We're literally in.

in a swamp. It's high 70s, low 80s, high humidity. And he's got to like walk down some stairs to get to, he was sweating bullets in the back room. He was sweating bullets at the Lincoln Memorial Press conference. And so when the fight started, I was not surprised at all. He beat a shit out of Derek Lewis, humiliated him. And then he had that moment on the microphone, which is, it's horrible what he said. And I don't like what he said. I wish he could have done something better. If you're brave, you've got balls, say some about Epstein. But it did, you know, they say no, uh, no press is bad press or whatever. It really went bigger than the whole event, that little comment. You would, I saw on like the entertainment subreddit and on like the news and world news,

like UFC fighters disgusting tirades since viewers vomiting from their screens or whatever. Like, it became a bigger story than the whole event to some extent and went further than the event. ever would have into little corners of the interwebs. I would handle it really well. Oh, is it? Yeah, yeah. Because he's like, listen, I don't police people. I don't like what he said.

I think it's disgusting, but I believe in free speech. Now, you'd think that someone says that when it's convenient. But no, you know, well, my argument was going to be Sean Strickland says, I don't want to be on this card. This is an Epstein reunion party that, you know, and he just starts listing all the baby rapists or child rape to be fair in the Trump administration. And he didn't want any part of it. And Dana White didn't say anything about Strickland,

although he was kind of banned from the event. So maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. He's not banned. He's just not allowed to come and he isn't invited. Oh, my bad. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I do with all that. Take away the fact that he couldn't go to the event itself. He says stuff like that all the time. He has fighters on different political views who tweet constantly. And he never seems to sign. violence any of them. So I don't think he's being hypocritical when he lets hockey get away with it. He lets everyone get away with everything. Yeah. And they should let those guys pop off. Like as you've said many times, Woody, like half of the fighting world is entertainment and ginning up that sort of

energy. Like you got to let them pop off. Yeah, but like the differences. And again, I wouldn't punish him anyway other than to say like, dude, I'm not going to do anything to you, but try not to do they think like that ever again. What the fuck is wrong? Between us as dudes. Don't do that. Like, forget I'm your boss right now. Don't do that. For those I don't know, he was like, Michelle Obama's man,

like randomly in his like post-fight presser, like, had nothing to do with anything. Not press it. That was like in the ring. In the ring. Yeah. Yeah, immediately. Like on top of the cage, he yells that. And nobody liked it. Like he didn't get a pop.

from the crowd like no everybody just kind of went yeah yeah Michelle Obama's nice and she didn't do anything they don't know each other I'm pretty sure him just popping off about that talking shit about Obama's wife that's it also doesn't make any sense if I were a little kid though going after another fighter did he want he want he should be talking shit about Pereira and he kind of did for your bill something like that like like talking shit about the Chama, your mama. He did say that. Yeah, yeah.

You said it, it was on PKNs in case people didn't see it. So well, it's like the bar is so low that Amachama, your mama is one of the better lines we've heard since Connor McGregor stopped fighting. Yeah, yeah. My balls is hot. Okay. There you go. Like all of these are, none of these are witty, but they become ingrained in MMA culture. Who the fuck is that guy?

That's the worst. I hated that one. Really? Who the fuck are you? Because I have watched Connor McGregor talk about Stevens. I've watched Connor McGregor go down the entire list of every fighter, how much they weigh,

how long their arms are, how hard he thinks they hit. And then to feign, like, I don't know this guy. Like, he's not even on my radar. Fuck.

I heard you describe the length of his arms three days prior because I'd follow this shit a lot. He's running a bit. Yes. And I just, I always thought, who are you, is the lamest, weakest, no material comeback in the history of ever. Every football player, every basketball player and every fighter said, who is that guy? He's not on my level. It is what you say when your mind is fucking worthless and blank and punch too much.

Who is that guy? I'll admit, it went over well and people loved it. I thought it was a low creativity, don't know what to say moment. That's fucking nothing. We're talking about a group of men whose cumulative IQ is averaging probably 75. A lot of real dummies. One of my favorites is when Connor and Nate are going back and forth on like ESPN or something by simulcast. And Connor says like, oh, you're, you're skinny fat.

You're going to be like a fucking gazelle in there. And Nate's like, nobody even knows what a gazelle is. Nobody even knows. Yeah. Dude, that's a, that's a king response. Nobody had to know. Hon. Hon.

Gregor got into this non-traditional movement type stuff. Obviously, he was training like a fighter trains, boom. But he didn't release that footage. Instead, what he would release is him, like, doing somersaults in the park and shit like that, walking on balance beams and, like, playing with children's playground stuff. And he had his movement coach, like, hit him with pool noodles. And he's like, and Nate is, like, and Nate is. like, I'm training to fight with the best

boxes in the world. You're playing touch button the park. That was one of the better ones. When he was trying his like a foray into politics for Ireland, do you remember that clip of him where it was some Irish lady that was like still wearing a mask in like 2024?

And she was like, he was like, you're still in favor of the mask mandate. You know, I'm in favor of a mask mandate. For you, you ugly bitch. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I want to hear more from Hockett, but I think Chal Sondon's the best talker in the history of the fighting.

Yeah, you should watch. So Hockett never rises to the peaks that Chale hits. It's just that in his general level of, the volume of talking he does, and the weirdness of it. I like that he has multiple characters. Chale never did that. Usually people have two characters.

They got, there's going to be like who you actually are if we have like a heart to heart like hey is i'm sure you're aware his father died right after the fight after he saw you beat his son that must have been pretty emotional hunger yeah you know that's a horrible there's the real you when we got to do that and then there's that yeah and then there's the i'm the toughest guy in the whole world couldn't there's that guy whatever that stick is going to be about how bad you are about how how you're going to do this that and the other hockey has like three or four weird fucking characters. There's Downvato

who's like a Mexican Hey, choolo can a guy. And then there's Darth Hawket or Darth Hawk who's like a Sith from the Star Wars University wears like a cape and cowl. I'm waiting for my favorite one, Josh. The Incredible Hawk. There's the Incredible Hawk

who's just like, that's the one who said that shit about Obama. Like an Incredible Hawk is the one who comes in and says mean, awful shit. Like the stuff that you don't say out loud. He's the Incredible Hawk is the one who quickly came out and mentioned that Toporia's wife was a stripper that left him and and like he had a baby with a stripper. Like that's the incredible hawk type shit. And they're like three weight classes apart. They're never going to fight.

He's just talking shit about something. Hockey shit for the love of the game. For the love of the game. But isn't Josh's other character, the one who like stutters and is insecure? He's so, he's so insecure that he went. He did one of the press events, he bombs as a comedian on purpose telling stupid jokes. And every time he's, oh, tough crowd. Come on, Josh, pull it together now. All right. What was the other one? What was the other one? Oh, yeah. Okay. And it has the same setup as the last joke. It's just a different punchline about about sleeping with fat women. And he's just incredibly uncomfortable. He's always apologizing. I'm really sorry about the stuff that Incredible Hawks said about you last time. You're actually

my favorite fighter. I want to be you. I want to be like. I want to be like. you, but I can't. I always fall short. Like he's this insecure, stuttering mess of a man as like Josh. As it's like, and it's like this guy is putting on a fucking show every time the camera's on him. The rest of you knuckleheads work 25 minutes at a time tops. This guy is given me hours worth of work. He's always entertaining me. I don't like most of it. I find it cringy, but I want it to happen because like be a guy. Be a character, be something. Anytime you watch, everything that we're into,

everything that entertains us for, like these superhero shows, like every one of them has their little personality quirks. You don't like Superman just because he can fly. You like his personality. You don't like Spider-Man because he's a Spider-Man. You like him because he's a good guy with an interesting personality and, like, he's going to do a thing. Same with villains.

Like, if you're going to be a villain, then be an interesting villain. Don't just, oh, yeah, I'm going to beat you up so bad. Your wife's not going to recognize you. That's actually not that bad. The bars are low. The bar is so low. Chale Sunnan used to talk about his media strategy, and I found it interesting. One, he was real-life friends with some professional wrestlers, and they used to feed him lines,

things he could say, and they would land. So that's cool. He'd be at a press conference, right? This is the one where they have, like, six champions, and then maybe three of the most popular fighters in, like, a sort of arena seating almost. And he would go into that like it was a competition. He's like, I want to get the most questions. I want to have the most airtime.

want to come out of this with the most buzz, right? The champions weren't competing. They were laughing at the chale show. But he's like, this is how you build a career. This is an opportunity. Have some prepared lines. Have some zingers. Call somebody out. And then post-fight, he's like, as a fighter, there aren't many times when all the eyes are on you, but this is one of them. If you win your fight, that is when you start calling out the next guy and selling your next fight. If you sell that fight well, you'll have a good fighting career. And it's like, damn, most fighters, they think their job is the punches and the kicks. Jail thinks it's that and entertainment.

And he knew better. Well, I think as much, you know, love and or hate him with, which a lot of people hate him, I think, I think Connor did a really good job of that. It was, it was more about like the pop and circumstances putting on a show. Like every, I know, you know, most people are not into MMA like any of us are, but everybody knows who Connor McGregor is. So Chale had lines and prepared poems and funny zingers off the cuff. Connor had aura, right? I think if you redo Connor lines like, you know, you're on steroids, touch button. No, that wasn't Nate.

But like, who's that guy? His lines fucking suck. But him showing up in the fur coat. The fur coat doing the gorilla walk. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's called the billionaire strut. It's a Vince McBehed.

He's like, it used to be Vince McMahon's. I stole it from him. It's mine now. And I'm like, fuck. He's admitting to stealing someone else's bit. And he somehow comes off creative and badass and cool being a copycat. Because it's all aura. This guy had so much fucking aura about him. His lines were bad and his brain is lame. But his confidence and his aura seemed to be off the charts. Well, yeah, it was, I guess to go with the, yeah, the aura or whatever. It was like the, I don't give. the fuck about it energy or whatever we'd be at a press conference leaning over you know with his sunglasses on or whatever and everybody like or most people they like chel's on and excluded most people prior to like took it so seriously and it's like well we're going to go out there we're going to give it 110% like no when i hear you shit talk this guy you're about to go you know punch each other in the face for you know five rounds like let's hear some fucking fire i don't want to hear NHL style interviews from five because the NHL has the worst interviews of all

There's almost hilariously bad sometimes. Like, I don't know. When they go up there and say the cliches, I'm almost like, yeah, that guy knows what he's doing. You know, we got to get some pucks in the neck, get some shots on goal, get some traffic in the crease, and, you know, good things will happen for us.

We're really going to go try and score more points. We're going to go and we're going to try and score more points than the other team. That's what's all about. By the way, go Keynes. Throw that in there. Raleigh. Nassian. Best hockey team on the planet. I mean,

they're Carolina Hurricanes. They won the Stanley Cup this year, yeah. I'm not sure I feel about that team. Against the dastardly, Vegas. I mean, hurricanes kill people in Carolina. They don't, like, help the people of Carolina. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, we're like, be careful when you visit Carolina.

A lot of it. You might run into the hurricanes. Let's nothing do. The Cleveland Indians, they killed people. Yeah, but it wasn't the main thing. Oakland Raiders, what is a Raider, if not a killer?

Okay, well now, okay, the Raiders is a different one. Yeah, I guess you're literally like, yeah, Raiders is pretty on the nose, even more than... The Sacramento serial rapists? Yeah, like... Well, the Nashville Predators comes to mine.

I guess they don't necessarily kill people. They might just go to islands. What was the Atlanta hockey team? The Thrasher. Because the Brown Thrasher is the state bird of Georgia, so they're the thrashers. So you had the Hawks, the Thrashers, and the Falcons. Yeah, name shit, that's not after a bird. Lazy-assie-ass state.

Don't lose your hockey team twice. We killed all the bigger animals and, you know, there used to be elk here and stuff. Everything's dead, you know, it's, it's, there's no cool animals here anymore. It's hawks and I don't even think we have falcons. I know we've got hawks. You have to have falcons. I don't know if we do or not. Yeah, they're like, they're basically the same bird.

I couldn't pick a falcon out of a lineup. I don't, I don't know. I know we got hawks. Yeah. I mean, not an individual one. They all look the same to be. Is that Larry? That's him.

that's the one that stole my mouse I don't like that the team names have gone but every time I see what is it the is it the Washington the commanders team commanders yeah that they called them for a while and now they called them the Washington football club I think for a bit but now they're the commanders

which I think is a pretty badass name I know people are attached to the redskins I get it I get it but commanders to me has a like badass vibe what they should have done is they should have redesigned the Redskins artwork. Like the Redskins artwork was a little on the nose. The indie, you ever see the old Indians,

uh, the, you know, the Cleveland Indians artwork? Big teeth. You know, it's, it's like a weird look.

He almost looks like an ant. Like, like sort of an oval shaped head that's way too red and these, this big, these big chomper's. It was upsetting. You know, it would have been a fun little insult.

What if they actually used a photo of that Italian dude who shed a tear about pollution. Ironize Cody. Ironize Cody. Why do I know his name? Sopranos. Okay. Yeah, that guy wasn't even an Indian. He was Italian, right? Yeah. He's a Sicilian, just like a Taylor. Okay. But he looked in Indian and he got the role. I've been diluted with enough English blood that I burn in the sun. So, barely I don't know. Speaking of white people and team names, I have my favorite my favorite baseball team of all time. I have I bought it off the MLB official site.

It was a legit. It wasn't Major League. It was like, you know, two tiers beneath that or whatever. But it's the Atlanta Crackers. That's hilarious. What league did they play in? They were, um, on ironically, I don't know if I can say this, but it based on the historical context, the Negro League.

So it was an Atlanta Crackers played in the Negro League? Yes, sir. because it was You're like the Washington generals, huh? Yeah. They were just there. It's not a reference to white people. It's to the sound of baseball bat makes when you hit a home ride.

I was like, no way they must be talking about the saltines. I don't understand. I thought they called white people crackers because they cracked the whip in the field. That's where the slur comes from. Oh, I didn't know that either. Oh, no, it's something to do with. barrels.

Really? Yeah, I'm barely I mean, you're the resident expert on this one. Yeah, the resident racist. I'm sticking by my guns here. I think it's about the cracking of the whip in the old slave fields.

And that's why you call it. I saw that debunked, but it could have just been some retard on Reddit tricking me. I've never dove in deeply, but that's my feeling. Yeah. It's not an area of interest of mine.

No. When I said a barrel, I meant cracker barrel is what I, like where my mind went. Sorry, go ahead, buddy. ChatGBTGPT says it's about cattle herders using whips. I don't know if it's being soft or not, but that's what it says. Cracker. Yeah, you spelled it wrong. It's cracker.

Because the way they should be brand. You remember when Cracker barrel like changed their logo and a bunch of people had a conipion about it? Mm-hmm. They should change it to crack a barrel. that's how you get the urban people in there okay get them in there dude if they're also

that horrible gift shop full of nonsense to say hey I like the gift shop they've got fudge there yeah you can play the gold oh wow yeah I want some more what is that that sugar that rock sugar candy that they try and give you by the hand phone

honestly you're joking but I look I hardly ever go to crackle cracker barrel but I like the gift shop one, there's candies I never see anywhere else, but more so the sodas. They had sodas you never see anywhere else. And sometimes I would treat myself with like some sort of totally red soda, like watermelon soda? Fuck it, I'm in.

And so you're about to go to dinner so you can just take the soda in there and you've already got your cherry soda while. Nobody else has ordered the drinks. This is on the way out. When I pay, put this on there. So we often have to wait like if, Cracker barrel used to be hopping. It was full of crackers. And so we'd have to wait in that little gift shop for like five, ten minutes before we could get a table.

And I'd be back there doing the little puzzles and the Rubik's cubes and all the, you know, assemble this thing together and stuff. I always love the gift shop. I think Taylor's crazy for this one. This is part of our culture, Taylor. This is our show. Have you ever beaten that triangle game at the Cracker Barrel? Oh, yeah, of course.

Yeah. I beat it. So then I identified as someone who beats it every time. but that wasn't true. I'm only being now and then. Yeah. Every once in a while, you really fuck that triangle game up and you're like,

that wasn't even a real try. Ignoramus. So embarrassed. Internally. I swear, baby, this never happens. I think I started with the empty spot in the wrong area. That's probably not regulations. Yeah, it's a kicker with like,

you're like, all right, right. Usually, sometimes I get one, but I'm mostly a two or sometimes a three guy. You get yourself a four or five. How did this happen? Oh, you're like, how can, I guess I am this store's prime customer. Just a complete ignoramus, leaving five on the field. Oh, I've got a new show for you, Woody. You're going to love this.

Cape Fear is a series now with Javier Bardem as the, Robert De Niro, scary fucker who gets out of prison. Amy Adams and I can't think of the actor who plays her husband, but you'll recognize him. He's guy. White guy number three is playing the husband.

And Amy Adams is the wife and they were lawyers. Amy Adams was the defense attorney for Javier Bardem in their trial and guy number three, whatever his name is, was the prosecutor. And they got married and now have a

have a family together and he's been rotting away in prison. And I won't spoil how he gets released, but he gets released. Not only does he get released, everybody thinks he's innocent. It's not one of those technicality type things. It's like, oh, redemption for this guy. And he's playing the redeemed, like, he's not blaming anybody in public. He's just like, we've got to work on these efforts to set more people who are wrongfully sent to prison free.

Like, let me be an example. and he's feigning all these like brain issues that he has like he's a little weird it's because he got assaulted in prison and he's pretending like he's a good guy he is evil incarnate wood he're you're going to love him he is the attorney also purposefully incompetent like the movie i don't want to spoil that okay okay and because they kind of keep you on the edge while before they're going to tell you what actually happened at the trial that made him go to prison um i don't think I know that yet, like specifically. I know that something happened that wasn't exactly kosher, but they haven't exactly nailed down exactly what it is. I've seen the first three episodes.

Javier Bardun is, you know, he's the great villain in No Country for Old Men. He plays a different, scarier villain here. He's very muscular. Like he hasn't turned into Hulk Hogan or anything, but he's super intimidated. He's super intimidating. And he's got crazy eyes and he's got blue contact lenses or something in, which makes him look insane. And he knows no boundaries. He is just always in your business being awkward, showing up at your house, weird stuff happening, stuff's going on with their kids that I don't want to spoil, like the kids are being targeted. It's very, it's a thriller, and I'm always nervous. I'm always nervous about what's going to happen.

In the movie, I remember De Niro getting jacked and having a very impressive physique that you wouldn't expect out of De Niro. At least I didn't. But now I'm wondering if I was just. young and it's like you know that's the biggest ring set in the world no no um Cape Fear Cape Fear

Cape Fear Zach can you find a hey see can you find a picture of De Niro from Cape Fear shirtless Zach he was like tattooed super like ripped and I remember him being intimidating and like yoked

yeah it was with clothes on he was intimidating ish and then with his shirt off you're like oh that's the problem I see this guy's like a monster it was worse in my memory I remember him like this isn't

yeah this is not a flexing scene isn't that taxi driver is it absolutely not was that that was Cape Fear this is Cape Fear I can see the emerging abs when he's not trying like I think there were other shots

that made him look worse like for Robert to Nero that's not bad he's a different he got bigger than this mirror now well now he's almost dead but anyway

Harvey Obride M very muscular in the movie like enough to sell being an intimidating physical specimen that you're gonna have to deal with and then he's also like a skilled fighter

they sort of reveal that at one point like he's no one to be trifle with highly recommend it's on Apple TV there a lot of good shit on Apple TV like you've got for all mankind has its fifth season out over there this show

and then the one about the island is really good too. The like haunted island show, which name is escaping me right now. But that's really good too. I found a scarier picture of De Niro. Okay. But he's trying to rape a girl in it. Yeah, send that over to me then.

I will actually. But you don't see much aside from her, his, him covering her face. But it still seems inappropriate for YouTube. God, that I'd accept cookies for this photo. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can't put that on YouTube. Oh, there's nothing wrong with that.

Really? Like, I think he's choked. No, she's choking. He's trying to clear her airway. Look how concerned he is. He is giving her all of his attention. I agree. An attentive guy. I think most of them appreciate that sort of thing.

He is making that scary rape face, but... he's doing and it's the exact right face you would think De Niro would have is that Zach can you show that one upside down fucking those are terrible tattoos like middle school desk tattoos yeah it's pretty scary here dude it's pretty scary the top right one that Zach's about to show us is from the scene you just can't see that they cut off the girl but he's holding her and being mean to her Yeah.

Being mean. Look at that back tattoo. Look at yoked. Good thing prisons put their lights straight above you before they grease you up. Yeah. When they do pictures at this prison, bodybuilders love it. That is not De Niro on the bottom.

It is. I'm telling you, dude. I can tell by the tattoos. He has the same tattoos on movie, Taylor. Look at it. It is him, though. Like, I've seen the movie. Check-in' mate.

You know. He was like, one, in his 40s here. So, you know, they put him on a regiment to where he can get jacked like that. Probably took a while, but. Yeah. That's probably easier because he's a little guy, too. Like, he's short, right? You can get jacked as a short guy.

That's true. I didn't think of that. Yeah, don't think of that. It really takes away from some of his more commanding roles when you remember he's 5'8. They were talking, back in the day when like before all the Marvel stuff

but way back early like he was a big front runner to play Wolverine because he's got the look and he's short and you would I would like a short king playing Wolverine

that would be tremendous yeah I would prefer that I always liked that about his I never read comics as a kid but I was exposed to the cartoon of course like the X-Men 97 cartoon and I love

that he was short, that he was like small and like, like, like, I don't know. And I never thought of it until like maybe this moment, but I bet there were a lot of short kids who are like, yeah, Wolverine is short like me and he beats up the Hulk. Like I bet it was nice to have that representation for those short kings

out there buying comics. And he was the most, I mean, still is the most beloved character out there. Canadian. And Canadian too. To boot. Yeah. To boot. To boot. Wolverine beat up the Hulk. Yeah.

Those Wolverines The most beloved I got a little Like I got I tuned away I was Googling something I came back and I'm like The rapist from Cape Fear

Is the most beloved character out there I What happened? I'm not keeping up anymore Yeah nobody likes that guy But yeah The new TV show is tremendous I highly recommend it

Dude I am interested in the Suggestion I can't get Jackie To stop watching burnt peanut Every night. Like you gave me a movie, the return that I wanted to see,

and I wrote down another movie, Weapons. I haven't seen either. I haven't seen either. Every night we're watching burnt peanut. Now, I still love Burn Peanut. And I root for the guy I went good.

He's cool. I hope he has a wildly successful career. I, though, value gameplay a lot. And he's currently playing, you've surely seen Prop Hunt before. Yes. It's like that. you're a white stick figure, like almost like a bubbly sort of 3D stick figure.

You go against the wall and you paint yourself using MS paint like tools to blend into the background. And he's the guy who made his peanut on blender and everything. He's particularly good at it. So he'll like crawl into the painting of a woman's boobs and then paint himself perfectly camouflaged to be the woman's boobs. And now no one can find him. He'll stand in front of a bookshelf and like recreate the bookshel.

shelf and paint and people don't see it. But as good as he is at this, like, I like watching shooters and Souls games and stuff like that. This is all personality driven, but my wife loves it. So that's all we watch. So you still haven't seen weapons. I think that's one you're really going to enjoy. Weapons is wild, dude.

Can I give you the setup of weapons real quick? Sure. One night, and I don't remember this precise time, but in the movie universe, you do. Let's just call it 2.14 a.m. Every member of like a 30 child classroom of eight-year-olds runs out of their house, sprints into the night, and is never seen again.

Except for out of the same classroom, they all have the same teacher, and only one kid is left behind. And the entire town has lost like all their eight-year-olds, and no one knows where they went. And they're having big meetings, and the police are there, and they're asking the teacher.

The teacher is that blonde-haired girl from Ozark with the foul mouth, Ruthie. Oh, yeah, I like her. She's the teacher. And so everybody's pointing the finger at her, like, where are our kids? And she's like, how the fuck should I know? You know, of course.

Like, she has no idea. They're your kids. They left your houses. And so fingers being pointed at her. She's a very imperfect character. She has alcoholism. She's a bit of a whore. And then there's a big mystery.

And Josh Brolin, Thanos, is his son is taken. Can't find his son. And he's wanting to put the screws to root. He's wanting to do whatever it takes to find out where his kid has gone. And then there's a couple other characters floating around that are very, very bizarre. And slowly it's sort of revealed and you figure out what's going on. And it becomes a different sort of movie for a while.

It sort of shifts genres into something very intense and a little wacky and scary. It's a very good movie. I think most of us think it was one of the top three or five best movies last year. It's real good. It's real good. Definitely top three for me because I only saw like two movies last year. When you said she's imperfect and she's a bit of a whore, I'm like, she might like our Patreon hang out.

Yeah. She's finding our people. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, definitely recommend weapons. And then the return is good too if you like the Odyssey story and the idea of, like Odysseus's return story and all that stuff. Yeah, you didn't say that one was A plus, but when you talked about its plot, it sounded interesting to me.

It's like something I want to see. Yeah, yeah. It's not tremendously entertaining, but I really like the Odyssey and particularly Odysseus's part and more particularly the part where he returns and he deals with those fucking suitors. That whole story is great to me. So anytime that's retold, I watch it. I've been going through Old Simpsons again.

I've fallen into that that Taylor binge thing where I'm watching like Simpsons from 1994 and laughing at it hysterically like it was such a good show and then like I look there's like 30 something seasons now

they've jumped the shark so many times and almost changed genres and rewrote their own like backstories and everything I don't know how it continues I don't know who watches it how does it still get enough ratings it's not because they

they're making, they have it down to a science to where they're already paying the people like a contractual amount. They have them signed on for X amount of seasons into the future. And the software that they use to make these episodes, they can crank them out just super quick. It doesn't matter. So the animation, they don't really need to pay anybody to do it because anybody can do it. And they already paid out the voice actors. So they just have have a minimal amount of advertising that they need to do. And as long as the cast stays alive, most likely it's just going to continue until, I mean, I would think if Dan Castellanetta or Marge or one of them dies,

then I think that's officially... They already don't sound like themselves. I think that there are... He sounds like Graham Simpson. I think that you could easily find someone right now. Phil Hartman was in that show. But his character disappeared. But he wasn't...

But he was the one of the family, you know. He was two of the best characters. So when people die, they killed his characters off. The reason they killed Maud off was she died. I mean, no, no, actually, she didn't die. She had a contractual obligation. Excuse me, she wanted more money and she left the show over money. And so they were like, well, if we don't have the actress,

we're going to get this other lady fill in for like three episodes. And then we're going to shoot her with a T-shirt gun and kill Maud, season 11. I don't think they have to end the show when someone dies. I'm not saying they will keep it going. but they should shit you could put Taylor in there for Homer and I wouldn't know the difference

Not only that like no one's watched in 15 years doesn't sound like the Homer that I know Like like when I think of Homer Like he has a voice in my head And when I watch I didn't watch a full episode But I watched a clip from season 30 or whatever And it's like that ain't what Homer sounds like What the fuck? And then I heard March

And she's so raspy now Like way raspy than before She's always been raspy but the plots also Are so not in line with what they used to be where it'll I'll like see promotions for it on TV when I'm in hotels or somewhere that has commercials and it's literally like

Homer you're not you're not trans stop telling people that he's like March you don't understand I want to be cool like that's like you say you could do it good right right

that's better than the Homer I heard last night I seriously is we're getting like a Billy West situation like running where he ended up doing both voices. You know, just bring in somebody that can do it all. Yeah. You know, to be perfectly honest, I would not be surprised if one of the cast members was getting

older and just sold their voice to Disney, you know, Fox and used AI to just replicate their voice because they've got hundreds of thousands of hours that they could use to train an AI and just, hey, here, make, you know, Homer sounds dumb. and just go with it. There already was some actors and whatnot that were signing over their likenesses to to the studios. And that's...

I think Bruce Willis did. Did Bruce Will? Yeah. Well, his family did, I'm sure. He's signed. He's physically signed, but I don't know how much mentally he's there. It's a shame because I love Bruce Willis.

It's really sad to see him going down the way that he is. I liked Bruce Willis, I guess. Like I like Mission Impossible. movies and I liked him in those 80s movies when he still had most of his hair like a blind date and Hudson Hawk stuff like that but but I stopped liking him somewhere around the time where he fully shaved his head and he was doing like like all that stuff I didn't like isn't that like the 80s well of stuff no no no no no it was like early 2000s unless you count the monkeys movie like they shouldn't be taking these pictures of him like they're they're like taking pictures of

He's smiling. Sienile. But, like, you know, keep those close to the chest. Don't make that his legacy. Like, don't do that to him. He looks happy in those photos. He's dancing with his, like, wife and, like,

he looks like he's just kind of happy to be there, but he has no memory of being the movie star that we knew. Oh, yeah. Well, he definitely doesn't. Yeah, because he's seen. Not at all. Poor guy. I don't know if I'd want to, like, live like that or not.

It might. Well, I don't know how fun of me. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know either way. is the thing, which was really scary about it. Yeah. The one that I can't go back and watch that I used to be a huge fan of,

and let me know if any of you have this. Is there something that you were a huge fan of as a kid or a teenager, and now when you go back, it does, not only do you not like it, but you actually hate it, because lethal weapon is that for me. As a kid, I fucking loved lethal weapon.

Fucking Riggs and Murtaugh, and he's wacky, and he's like, crazier than the criminals. is he's ready to die on this he's it's a suicidal cop who's putting in putting in dangerous positions and it's a that's a fun premise and then old Danny Glover always too I'm too

old for this shit you know like always getting bombs in his toilet and his family life it's great story I watch it now bombs in his toilet yeah yeah there's been a bomb in his toilet and he's sitting on the toilet and and and Mel Gibson runs into the bathroom and Danny's shitting he's sitting on

the toilet and he's like there's a bomb in the toilet you can't you either can't up or you can't flush. I think you can't stand up. And so they're trying to like dismantle the bomb while he's sitting there on the shitter and there he's like confessing things to one another because

it's a life and death situation but it's juxtaposed with the silliness of he's sitting naked on the shitter while you know Mel Gibson tries to defuse a toilet bomb. Stuff like that's fine. But when I watch, I tried to watch it recently and it's like, these fucking pigs are violating everybody's civil liberties. Like I don't care

that somebody out there is trying to like steal some South African diamonds or whatever. These two fucking pigs are like running around town committing way worse crimes, if you ask me. They're like pointing guns at like civilians and threatening them and like bullying them. It's like high school bullying, but they're cops bullying grown men in the street for the smallest of inconveniences. Things that aren't crimes, just like people in their way. They're just bullies.

They're awful. And Mel Gibson is that whole way through. What kind of malfeasance though? Like, do they have a Bluetooth speaker hooked to their backpack and they're playing music that other people don't want to hear? No, no, just genuinely picking on people who don't have it coming. Just like, get the fuck out of here. Like, wanting their gun at people and stuff. And again, they don't care about the law.

They're cops. They're just, I watched it. Last time I watched it, I was like, fuck these pigs. Fuck these fucking pigs. I wish they wish you would blow your head off. I hated them. I hate milk. I can't watch those movies now.

I hate them. I can't think of a good analogous comparison. and like all the stuff I really remember as a child, I look back on fondly, but I guarantee if I watched, you know, fucking rocket power again, I'd be like,

this is stupid. That was the thought I had. Yeah, it's like thinking back on anything that I enjoyed as a child. If I watched it now as an adult, I'd be like, yep, that's some shit that an eight-year-old would enjoy.

I, I don't know. I kind of, a lot of things that I wouldn't normally watch. Like right now, I have an 11 year old. So I'm showing him a lot of the stuff that I grew up with because he thinks that, and this is not coming from me,

he thinks that everything out today sucks, which makes me very proud. Like he came to that conclusion on his own. He's like, everything is like, all this stuff sucks. And I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to show you some older cartoons and let you, you know, see if you like them, we'll keep watching them. So we watched like Inspector Gadgett, Garfield. I showed him the three stooges. He loves the three stooges.

Uh, We watched all the earnest movies. Oh, what's your favorite Ernest movie? I gotta go. And why is it scared stupid? I was going to say it's scared stupid. Because it's so good. The Kyoto brothers, they designed the trolls

and they actually reused the designs that they had left over from killer clowns from outer space. Yeah. And oh, dude, nice bunch of guys too. But really just a so genuinely funny and like good like he got to a point I think around five was when the quality really started dropping off ernest goes to prison isn't very good um I like ernest goes to camp

ernest goes to africa isn't but not good at all no um and uh you know that they varied in quality but ernest scared stupid the Halloween one was a childhood favorite of mine I believe that's in the criterion collection I was a water gun full of milk Like that to me was the coolest part of the movie when they, they, they, the thing that, that, like, kills trolls is milk. They, they discover at the end. It's like mother's milk is love or something like that. Ernest scared stupid. This is the earnest people or old movies.

Oh, my bad. I'm too smart. Don't know me, Byr. You guys talk amongst yourselves, I guess. In fairness, what do you? It would have been very weird for you to watch this film as a 17-year-old. Maybe. Maybe. He started, the whole story of Ernest is very much similar to early YouTube, way before there was any internet. You know, he started off doing local, uh, commercials. And he became a,

he used the same persona in each commercial. He's a Shakespearean trained actor who does Hamlet. He has a, he has this deep, beautiful voice. And he articulates amazingly when he does Shakespeare. But he became this southern guy named Ernest, who'll tell you to go down to the quick mark. You know what I mean, Byrne? And he was always getting into hijinks in his commercial. He's selling you like shingle repair while he attempts shingle repair himself and falls off the roof. And the locals in Tennessee maybe like really liked it.

And so more companies like local lumber yards and stuff and grocery stores would hire him to do their commercial spots. And from that, he evolved to be. movies. You know, he became like a viral sensation where like you'd have to hand somebody a VHS or tune in at midnight to catch the little commercial with Ernest in it. And he turned that into a movie character

and made like half a dozen successful movies. It is such a sad commentary on America that this Shakespearean trained actor couldn't find a market for his talents. So he became, Ernest goes to Hollywood or whatever the fuck he is. And it hit it big.

Yeah. I love those. They were like children's movies essentially. Yeah, yeah. He's kind of like 12. Yeah, like Larry the cable guy before Larry the cable guy essentially. Because it's like the same story where the guys, yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen Larry the cable way out of character. But yeah, just him.

Like he's a very well-spoken, like eloquent dude. But then he just, he called into like his buddy's radio station and developed the character of like Larry the cable guy, just some hick idiot. And that's that's what took in places. I might be a stick in the audience, but I rarely like physical humor. I can't think of much where I see some guy intentionally falling, pretending to be clumsy and think, wow. I was going to say Kramer as a great example,

but I remember Woody doesn't like Kramer. Oh, not only that. Woody hates that scene in Wolf of Wall Street when DeCaprio can't get into the car because of the Kueiludes. Oh, my guess. I hit it. So it's so droned. That scene is like 90.

minutes long. Oh my God. I can't take it. I can hardly make it through that seat. I'm team Woody here. That scene goes on way too long. Yeah. The first time I saw it, though, was like super interesting. Like the distortion of, you know, he's got, there's four

stairs outside of the country club, but then you see it from his perspective and it's like 70 fucking stairs that he's falling down. It's an advertisement for Kueeludes. It really makes you curious about them. Yeah, they don't exist anymore. Yeah. I never saw that entire movie, but did they ever

mention the movie that he was fine, the character in real life, what he was financing? I don't think so. Okay, he was financing the Hulk Hogan movie, Santa with muscles. Oh, that's hilarious. Is that the one where he throws the dog

in the ocean? I believe that is the one, well, he doesn't throw a dog into the ocean. He's driving his motorcycle down the road and somebody in the background is throwing a dog into Oh, that's awful. Like a real dog. Yeah.

It would like Hogan was living on Santa with muscles. It's just, um, Belfort, the guy from the, apparently was financing that movie with his ill gotten gains. Yeah.

Just to kind of show how, you know, what level of drugs he was on that he was. Santa with muscles. This is going to be a hit. It's not crazy to think that because Hogan was such a like hit. And I bet you got the movie bait cheap. I wouldn't be surprised if it made money.

Like, oh, it definitely made money. Holiday movies make money, too. Like, holiday songs are often some of the, like, most successful hits that have a really long duration. Like, you know, they last for decades. Right. She's probably the best example. It's bought her like 10 houses, I'm sure. All I want for Christmas.

Doesn't she make like 10 million a year? Something like for that song. It might be the best Christmas song. I don't like Christmas songs. White What's the date rapy one? There was a big debate Oh,

Hold outside Please don't go I love that go Kissing Joe We get in a debate Every Christmas With my family about that There are two factions

Half of Half of us, me included, are saying that They're just being flirtatious Because it's the 1950s She has to be coy She can't be like Yeah, I'm

spreading my legs open. Fuck me in my pussy. Very Christmas. No, they're playing a cute little game. And then it became like a mean. In reality, the people that did, I'm sorry, the people that did it in reality were a husband and wife duo. And it got popular because they would be at

parties and people would be like, oh, play the baby it's cold out song. You know, and so they would sing that and it kind of blew up from there. So yeah, it was just like exactly like you said. It was just them being clarity. Yeah, it's like a, cute, flirty conversation.

It's like, no, oh, I really should leave. I really can't stay. Baby, it's cold outside. Well, okay.

I've got to go away. Baby, it's cold outside. This evening's been, been great. Been hoping you just drop in so very nice. I'll hold your hand.

They're just like, guys, it's just throughout this. She's really got to go. And he's like, I always say, no. Yeah.

I want to say no. No, no. Mind if I move a little closer. This is literally exchange. I ought to say no, no, no. Mind if I move a little closer? They're married.

Your honor, being married? That's irrelevant because some of the lyrics are like, my mother will start to worry. Beautiful, what's your hurry? My father will be pacing the floor. Listen to that fireplace roar. She's not married in the song.

She says, the answer is no. And he says, oh, it's cold out there. When you read the lyrics to any love song in an intimidating tone it'll sound that way and i will always love you and i that's not true and i will always love you okay well that's a little scary okay it's right you're right in music songs have uh yeah i mean can always be interpreted in different ways there's um what was the one, the Sarah McLaughlin song, possession.

Not the dog one. No, not the puppies in a cup. Hold on. I'm sorry to interrupt, but like my sister will be suspicious. Gosh, your lips look delicious. There are so many ways to interpret that. This spring, denim gets a softer, lighter update. Introducing Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg, a new fit that moves with you.

It's everything you want denim to feel like for summer. Easy, breathable, and effortlessly cool. With a fit that creates natural movement and a wide leg that feels modern, not overwhelming. Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. Okay. She's saying, this is again, I'm on pro there being flirtation. The next line where he says, let's get her in the mix, was a little.

When she said, no wait, please stop. Let's go on a triple date. She said, no wait. Please don't. He said it's going to happen. He hits that again. She's like, my aunt's mind is vicious. Again, gosh, your lips are delicious.

Yeah, but you aren't reading it in a flirtatious tone. She's like, she's like, oh, God, what is my family going to say, though? And he's like, your lips look delicious. She's like, oh, my aunt's a bitch, though. It's just two horny people and it's 1952. She's trying to leave. And she says, you've really been grand. and he says, I thrill when you touch my hand.

There's only one way to interpret this. Yeah. Yeah, he's like that, that turns me on. It's not the modern day. You guys are too cynical about Christmas. Yeah, she can't be like, my pussy is dripping. I'm going to fuck you. And he's like, it's, yeah, it's cold outside.

I guess, yeah, you can stay if you want, but like, probably. That's the thing you were. We're arguing about you can stay. You can stay. You're pulled outside from seven years ago when we have songs like wet ass pussy on the freaking radio that like are just

so blatantly. Yeah. Here. Sir. I heard it from Ben Shapiro. He consulted his wife and pussy's don't get wet. Yeah. That's true.

I hope that's not a real tweet. That's in my workout. There is no verifiable evidence that pussies get wet. No one. I look at my sister's giant titties and my pussy did not get wet. You know, like Ben Shapiro.

was kind of right. I know this is an unpopular take and it's a lot more fun to make fun of him, but doesn't this song act like the whole floor gets squishy and squashy? You need a mom? Yeah. Apparently, this chick makes more fluid

than Spider-Man's webbing. And that's where Ben Shapiro is like, this is kind of medically impossible. And everyone is like, ha-ha-ha, he doesn't know women get wet. But in reality, he's saying women don't flood the hallway. That is a wet-ass. that guy. It's more fun to make fun of them.

I like that. His channel, he keeps, he's done this. The only thing that gets my wife's pussy wet is the idea of bombing a rant. On his fucking little fucking channel, he keeps playing, he'll react, react to my videos where he'll just play my video in the corner and he goes, yeah. So fuck that. Fuck Benchman. Really? Yeah.

You should copyright claim him. no because it's it's like transformative enough because my shit was so short Zach could you pull up a picture up his sister's giant tits just so I can personally They are What's really important

They are Big fucking tits You get those Huge shout out To his sister Flip those things over that big wall They got over there in both sides Why is she not an internet sensation

Because she covers them up She covers them up She hides them. There's only a few photos that we have of even cleavage and then maybe a bathing suit pick. I'm a bit of a connoisseur of this this Jew broads cans. There's something I'm going to

I convert not even to Judaism whatever she said. Kyle's going to do. Yum. Yum. Is that photoshopped? No, that's real Woody.

No. Kyle's keep going to kiss the wall. She would make a fortune. like and I'm not even talking like only fan joined only fans I would take I'm saying I wouldn't even steal the content if she just did like TikTok or something she'd make a million dollars oh my god people I feel bad for her in that way is that is this naked picture

of her her no there's an only fan's model who looks just like her I already know who's that so I can avoid it oh my god no I'm just on a lady don't do that You know what? Still would. Got a wood right now. Honestly, seven billion more to Israel. I feel bad for her because I'll see, like, I've seen clips of her like making her style of content, which is like, this is how you take care of a toddler, you know, at low cost and like that sort of innocent thing.

And all the comments are like, beefers big beefers like a different set of boobs I maybe I'm just being a fool but if you could go back one picture this is the same as the first woman

that's a big can big set of cans too they just were reserved in the one pick let me go to her subreddit those shorts are hideous like an inverse weble wobble she's a pretty fit woman in those shorts

Oh, here's she I thought it was like a skirt with like a They can make anyone look bad Yeah, I look terrible on those Look at these hangers Look at this. No, you could pull it off. Look at this photo right here.

Oh my God. Got a little, little, oh, that's a little, oh, that's very funny. It's R slash Abigail Shapiro 2, which means there was some malfeasance on the first one. Don't worry about it. Might have got banned for some reason. They get Abigail Shapiro. one, we got a little, we got a little out there with some of our commentary, all right.

But, but we've reined it in for two. We don't want to. I double down on what I said. The comments are out of pocket. I need these, those jubes in my mouth. Damn. That's hilarious. I can't believe I never thought of jubes.

Oh, my God. It's new to me, too. She's the perfect definition of tits on a stick. That's off to her for maintaining her body after three kids. Facts. Wow. Whoa. Facts indeed.

Three kids, huh? Professor Boob says that profile goes hard. Professor No. This guy's like, this guy's like cracking his fingers when he logs into Reddit. He's like, yeah. another day

at the office. I'm looking for more. There's got to be more. No, she doesn't do like not safe for work content. Here's some edits of her sucking dick,

but I'm like 99% sure. They're not real. Abigail Shapiro 2, this scandal planet thing, that's not her, is it? No, of course.

Anything with actual nudity, you can tell like everything we have is very conservative. It's, you can't, cans like that. Like, you know,

there's, there's no way to conceal them completely. Well, she's not trying on this page that I'm looking at it. Well, I don't know.

In that one, it's a mixture. Some of the, like the ones that are clothed to her and then the ones that are not are totally the girl that kind of looks like her.

Yeah. They got a worst time. This is the worst time to be face blind. I fall for this shit 100% of the time. Dude, that's a blessing for you.

This is the best time. Now you can enjoy so much fake pornography. I pick the fakes out immediately and I'm like, that's not her. I can't come to that. That's not really bad. Dude, they could slap Ben's face on there and what do you be like,

nice. It'd be funny if they did that. They did a few minutes ago. I'm teasing. That's the joke. It'd be funny if there was a picture of her wearing a yellow dress with Ben Shapiro's face. Oh, Jesus. That was pretty good.

pornography. Let's take a peeksy-pooh. Yeah, it's just pornography there, Zach. Yeah, it's a straight of porn. Somewhere around the two-hour mark, we usually just start watching porn for that. For the audio only listeners, we're all drinking off right now. I clicked on that link, the arrow me thing, and I can't see any of it because I'm not logged in. But suspiciously, all of you instantly saw all of it. Please explain.

No, you live in North Carolina. I live in Texas. It's also all blurred out. It's not for me. I've got access. It worked just fine for me. But I'm not signed in. There's an option to sign in.

I didn't have to tell it I was 18. It made a pinky swear I was 18. I had to click that and it still blurs it out for us in the States. Yeah. They do a penis scan, actually. Like, you have to prove your 18. You click the yes, and then they digitally scan your penis to ensure that it's the proper size. I got a way to say.

It hurts like hell. They do that at every airport. Their penis skin and all of us. Yeah. Those penis skinners don't work. It consistently comes back and says you're a child. Female. Female. Negative.

Wamp. Negative. No penis. You ever seen what they're actually seeing? Yeah. I've seen two instances of it. In some instances, they put an overlay on there. It's sort of like a, it's probably not AI, but it's a system that,

takes the raw scan of your body and then dumps it down to like a cartoon character sick man like a mannequins you doesn't it and yeah it mannequins you but then like the original scan if you ever see that it's like well they can count the pubs on my balls right there Jesus Christ I do not pubes but I could see that I was circumcised

in my airport plan it's like and when looking down yeah it was cold when you come out of the scanner the little gray guy, he's just kind of blurry and then it puts the little like red. Did you bench and make that a little bigger for the love of guys?

You're over there on the scanner doing this. You throw me a zoom. So it's not a touch screen, unfortunately. The worst is when you get flagged and they're like, we just have to do a test for you. Do you want to go in a private room and then some man

rubs the back of his knuckles on your genital area? It's like, what the fuck? enough of this. So you're describing the worst? I'm confused. I don't like it. Some reverse hand job.

Some fat idiot rubbing my junk? No. I don't mind it, but I kind of wish that I felt like it was necessary or did something, and I don't. Because the TSA has never once in their entire existence since 9-11 caught a terrorist of any kind and stopped them from doing their thing. everyone who's brought a bomb to an airport with intentions of using it, it's worked. Like they've always made it through TSA. Whenever they, they like test TSA, the people get right through with whatever they want. Like there's plenty of ways to hide shit where they want.

I guarantee I could put stuff in the little telescoping handle of my carry-on. I guarantee I could put stuff in there that they would never catch. I mean, have you seen the teams they're working with when you go through TSA? Big ladies. It's like this is like the. Tuesday afternoon strip club team. If you all have flown through Atlanta, you know we've got a very crack crew down here.

Yeah, the Atlanta airport. They're on it, on it. They want to be there. They're very quiet famously. Yeah, very petite. Very petite group of not massive-assed, loud talking, white-women.

Like, lee-nail-wearing bitches, you know, with the security of the world. at their fingers grasped. They've never caught anybody. They never will catch anybody. It's some sort of like joke and Israel just watching the goy take off their shoes

before they get that. It's probably, it's like take off your shoes and show reverence before you fly in off plane. Wiggle your toes and hold your shoes on now, right? I think they got rid of that, yeah. Yeah, they've given up on that. Which apparently wasn't a threat. I wonder if they gave up or if the tech got better.

There was the shoe bomber guy that got, he didn't get caught by TSA. He got caught by the passengers. He got caught when he took out the shoe and went, yeah. Funny, that dark skin fellow was trying to ignite his shoelace. Yeah, he was trying to like, like the shoe on because the bomb was a, he needed to like ignite it. And people saw that and they, you know, piled on him and, you know, let him have it.

So yeah, he didn't think that part grew. He should have taken him, going to the bathroom or something. Yeah, that would have been the store of trying to let his shoe on fire. I think he wanted to blow the window out. I think his intent was like try to blow part of the fuselage out, so he wanted to be in contact with the, with the wall there.

Well, the shoe could add a little fuse or something. I don't know. A cartoon fuse out of the back to the back. He was running out of the bathroom. Wiley Coyote. He's got to put one of those big bowling ball, black bomb. Marklers. I think that.

That's what we realized with the terrorists is that a lot of these guys are like Acme tier terrorists. If you paint two towers on the side of a concrete wall, they fly the plane straight in. They painted a tunnel on the side of a mountain. They're going to fly right into it. Well, the Iran war is over. Huge loss. It's kind of big news. We're on the hook for $300 billion to pay them. another L

Big L The fuck can we owe money for It's part of the agreement So I'm painting it But it is about right So I guess other people pay Towards it And whatever they don't pay

America has to make up The rest of the 300 billion And Oh, I didn't hear that Yeah and I guess the other Arabs And stuff are like we're not contributing Anything towards this And Trump

to his credit says he's not paying it either, although he did sign saying that he would pay it. So I don't know where this goes. I do see that like obviously the war itself was a tremendous miscalculation, ridiculous play. Terrible. But all the worst people and most annoying people are really mad that it ended. I'm down with that. Like that one little bit. but the attempt to turn this into a wind is like,

oh, so we're going to like get the same deal we had with them before. Sick. For hundreds of billions, awesome. Yeah. Just another. Not only,

not only a hundred billion cash, hundreds of billions cash, but 300 billion. Yeah, not only that, but all of the money and, uh, and material that was lost in doing.

Yeah. It's, it's more than 300 billion and planes that we lost. It's going to have a trillion. Who knows what it cost in munitions. Who, and, and,

and it's easy. say, okay, we lost $100 billion worth of rockets. Okay, I can just think of that as money. But it's not just money, because we've got to rebuild them, and we can't rebuild them fast enough to be in the correct stance if China wants to take Taiwan or something. We used so many of our Patriot Interceptors. We probably used most of our Patriot Interceptors in that conflict,

mostly defending Israel and boil in the mid-East. I heard like 60 to 70% we used. Yeah, I think who knows. I've heard before that like the, most of our munitions have like an expiration date. Yeah. So it's basically like we're just more like fiending for a reason to to use them. And we were sending a bunch of shit to which we send it a bunch of shit to like Poland and Israel anyway and Turkey.

But we were sending a bunch to Ukraine. And so like everything at the end of its life, I guess, because the military industrial complex, we're going to spend that money one way or the other. So they're like, yeah, fuck it. Let's not. Yeah, I think it's that the rocket fuel itself ages. So you can't have old rockets like you can have old bullets. So if you give them to someone, it's just like, oh, and then the other thing is, I've heard that it is not cheaper to replace the rocket fuel than it is to make a fresh new rocket.

So just they do that. They do. So they do. I feel like we're being fib to on those things. Yeah, it feels like Boeing's telling some, Lockheed Martin's telling us more. Maybe they're intentionally designing the rockets. so that replacing the fuel is not that easy. That way you have to buy new rockets.

Different rockets have different expiration days. Some of the smaller munitions go bad pretty quick. Those Patriot Interceptors were talking about 20 to 30-year service lives that they can sit in a tube somewhere. We did not need to blow 70% of them. You know what I mean? All the planes we lost. Like if you pull up,

Zach, see, if you can find a graph that shows all of the aircraft, the U.S. lost, it's dozens and dozens of those 30 or 40, million dollar drones and it's an F-35 that's like 150 million dollars or something like that. A bunch of strato tankers and strato fortresses. A huge, an A10 or two we lost, at least five or six F-18s. We lost a lot of aircraft. We did kill Supreme Leader Goobbly gobbly, though. So we got him.

His regime? We got a few of them, didn't we? Yeah, I think a couple. Yeah. Yeah, like five or six, because it's like, hey, here's the new guy. Oh, yeah. All right. Who wants to be next?

They were really having to backfill those card packs, like with a bunch of nonsense guys. Oh, this is through April 3rd. That's kind of dated. Yeah. Wow. Do you really think these prices are like legit, though? Yeah, they feel inflate. Well, I've heard the thing, too, with like the military, like, or in the contractors, too.

They'll charge for, you know, like a bolt that would cost 35 cents. Just the way that the contracts are written, they'll charge like $200,000 fucking dollars for it, which that's a whole completely different issue. Just the fuel working. To do a nonstop air campaign like this would have been tens and tens of millions of dollars. Just to jet fuel. I used to work for a massive waste tool company. And we, I was in sales at this tool company and they had government contracts. And like they used to buy, like we would get phone.

calls at like the end of the month. Hey, um, you know, our fiscal year is ending. We've got, uh, 50 million dollars that we need to spend. And they would just buy a ton of shit and we'd ship it over to them. And sometimes they would actually return it all. And then, you know, we would, we would only refund them like maybe half of the money or, um, they would take it and then sit it in a cargo bay somewhere and then eventually just sell it off to like, uh, other military contracts for like pennies on the dollar. So it was just a gigantic waste of money. So I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of these,

I mean, I'm not saying that some of these planes aren't millions of dollars, but maybe a, let's say, $50 million plane, it's really more like 20. It's a shame that Doge looked for waste fraud and abuse, but skipped over the military. And that's where it always seems to be so thick with waste fraud and abuse. Absolutely. The military is a big one.

And then also just entitlements as a whole. Like, whether it's welfare, whether it's something Woody harps on often, which is correct. Like, a lot of people defrauding the disability shit through the military where it's like, oh, I got hurt skiing. And now I get paid $4,800 a month for the rest of my life because I was in the National Guard. It's like, that's bananas. Which that shit sucks too. Because I've heard, you know, like, I think it's kind of probably like a like a 10 to one ratio of like people who are essentially defrauding like the VA for benefits because they like sprain their ankle or whatever and they brag about it. And then like people who I know who like legitimately have been like horrifically fucked up.

And it's like 60%. Yeah. There's like a formula for what percentage disabled you are. And it adds up. So like you can have like a 15% from PT. and a 20% from your knee and then five more percent for your hand or whatever like that. And everybody's getting a little something. Everybody's getting a little something.

And when I think about the VA, I think about like some guys really fucked up. Like I worked with some wounded veterans for a charity thing one time. That guy had limited use of one arm and his chest and his neck up. It's like that guy was fucked. and he was getting really well taken care of not only by the government but by the charity organization he had two like $60,000 cars and he was on a vacation with us riding

and we lowered his crippled ass down into a tank so he could use the gun like he was having a blast and I was like he earned all that he's crippled as fuck and he's all like twisted and shit but then I see these guys I see them being interviewed and he's like yep got 50% from a PTSD and it's like well you're you seem real well put together here. Are you playing, what do you play Xbox right now?

It's just the guy who's retired because he's made up some stuff. The guy in the Patreon Hangout was talking about it and he was saying that it's kind of like the people who get the disability benefits are often not the people who need the disability benefits. The people who get it are the guys in like thinking jobs who like planned ahead and documented every scratch and made up their erectile dysfunction out of thin air to you know, pump up how disabled they are. And the guys who need it, they didn't do all those things. They didn't

play him throughout the way. They were sort of the you know, the less cerebral guys and they don't get their benefits coming on out the other side. It sucks. It sucks. It's crooked. And on one hand, like, I want the guys who saw combat and are fucked up from it to be really well taken care

of, not just because of how diminished they are, but just sort of a right and wrong of that guy gave a lot away. That guy paid something that he can't get back. It wasn't just his time. That he was there. He's also given a little bit of his future forevermore

because he's diminished in this way. I want them to be really well taken care of. But at the same time, I also want that guy there with his finger like, hmm, how crazy are you? Oh, you're not that crippled. Do a little dance. Oh, spin around for me.

I want that happening at the same time in conjunction with taking care of the guys that are all fucked up. So I don't know how you do that well without waste when it's a system ran by people. Right. Yeah. The erectile dysfunction thing I mentioned because they taught us that the guy in the hangout taught us.

I don't act like I'm a bet. They don't have to, they're not asked to prove it. So you can just get like 10% more disability. There's a machine for that too. I know they back, they used to do like this Gator testing for people where they put this little

sensor around your cock and then they show you homosexual images to see if you become erect by looking at gay pornography. And I'm halfway making up this. Everything I said is true. I'm halfway like making up this last part. But I think it was for particularly sensitive positions in like research and development and military industrial and like intelligence services. Because if you are a homosexual going in there and that,

especially back in the 50s and 60s, that could be found out by the KGB and the leveraged against you. Give us the plans for the rocket or we'll expose you and you'll lose your job and you'll be blacklisted, etc. That's terrible. That's terrible. Lots of straight people love gay porn.

This is what do we need the machine people? Nothing weird about that. What do we do it here? I watch it for the physiques. Like a bodybuilding show. I'm about the story. you know I love Brazilian jiu-ditsu you just want to see too powerful man you get

gang pornography I mean that guy delivered a pizza like nobody else and earned what he got or the the one that went viral you're the I'm going to stick this didgeridoo in your arse me was that one you've outgayed me I don't know this

I'm sorry I have a friend in mine that just you know, that sends me all the fun ones. That tub girl, 11 party. Oh, you know what came across my friend last night? The booty warrior. The booty warrior? Y'all don't know the booty warrior?

Taylor, do you know who the booty warrior is? I am ashamed. I should know the meme, but I don't. Let me wait till King Trout gets back because he needs to be, I bet he knows who the booty warrior is. If he doesn't, I wanted to hear the thing from the beginning. Is it some gay guy? That's my guess.

That's my guess. I seem to follow the threat of the conversation. I don't know a lot about the booty warrior, but I've made some assumptions. That doesn't matter too much. Taylor, I will take this moment while we wait on Trout to come back to stress to you again. How wonderful my new TV is and how I miss us being TV brothers. You know, I miss that about you. And so I really appreciate if you go out and buy that LGC5. All right.

What did you get? 77? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Well, I should just, there's no problems with my old Samsung yet. You think that. You don't know your problems, but what you think is black is gray.

It's gray. It's going to, I've been watching Spire nor. It's going to show the blacker when I'm watching fucking Top Gear or Clarkson's and farm. Yes. Yes. It's amazing. I'm telling you, you, you, it's a night and day difference between that, that TV and

this OLED. It is so good, especially for what I paid. I'm so happy with it. I bought a new sound. system just because I love my new TV and I've been watching re-watching like Dark Night Returns and like the original Batman with with Jack Nicholson and everybody like movies that really have a lot of blacks and black and white particularly in them and the new Spider-Norren black and white just looks incredible did you know wrong

just Best Buy what's that did you do Amazon or Best Buy best buy best I Best Buy it that was the best deal I got it for $1,740 or something so Kyle I got this super dope OLED TV that shows colors in a better, more contrasty way. I went on a similar jersey. I got like the best gaming OLED monitor that mankind has produced so far. I went up and down the purchasing elevator and got off in the penthouse. Anyway, last night, I'm on my laptop testing my reaction time. And it hurt my feelings.

I got bottom 8%. Can I guess some milliseconds? Sure. 264. No, that's about average, the number you put up, like 240 is average. I was at 340. And I'm like, well, I'm in my 50s. I'll have to find some other way to win gun fights, bottom 8%.

And then I went to this machine. And I'm sure part of it was like the posture. And I have this mouse that clicks really fast. And I also have this OLED thing that refreshes it 540 times a second. Top 8%. I'm at 160, my reaction time here. And it's not like one test where you're getting to like guess it. It's five in a row and it averages your results.

And I didn't do any of that guessing, trying to time it or whatever. I'm just bottom 8% on my laptop and top 8% on this computer. And the difference is the, the real difference is the monitor in the mouse. There's not like a latency issue. It's local. It's a browser-based thing. And so no, there's no latency. Here's the test if anybody wants to take it and maybe compare numbers.

I got a 230, a 202, and a 220 something. All right, I am seven highnoons deep. Yeah, I might slow you down a little bit. Yeah, this is the one I used. I'll tell you what I got. I'm taking it now.

171 was my average. So see where you rank. I hit 190 just then. This is it. It does it like five times and then tells you your score. Oh. 207 is my. my reaction time.

I think that's the average it's giving me. At the end, there's like a little thing. You click on stats and it'll show this bell curve sort of thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

207. Yeah, I got 170. And I don't know that my reaction time is fast than yours. It uses JavaScript. So it all happens locally in your browser. I also got 270. I got 180. just with people who are doing this, right?

183. That seems good, right? Oh, nice. Yes, that is good. Yeah. Shockingly, I was expecting to be much worse. Oh, okay. Trout, do you know who the booty warrior is? The prisoner? The Chris Hanging, you're halfway there. Yeah. So there's a great YouTube video. You can go watch.

Search booty because it's internet culture. Search booty warrior on YouTube. You'll find his whole story. And it's this. Oh, he's out of prison? Oh, I don't know. You're telling the story. There's interviews of him that I've seen. And I came across my feed last night.

I was telling him when you stepped away. I wanted to wait for you to come back. He looks like he's in this late 50s, a black guy. He's kind of big, tall, and lanky. And he's explaining how he gets booty in prison. And he's got this whole, like, manipulative scheme that he pulls. Like, first, yeah, I got a knife. No.

Oh, no. No, no. It's so complicated and in-depth. He's like, you know, I get him and I'm nice to him. I come up to him, where are you from, what do you do? I don't give a shit. But he talks. He tells me where he's from and what he does and what he likes.

Oh, I like all that too. And I've been there before too. And we become friends. And I tell him, you know what? I run the store around here. So if you want macaroni, if you, I got ham in a can. I got onions. I got cream of mushroom.

I got chilies, cookies, cakes. You talk to me and I'll take care of you. And I encourage him to buy more and more. And I even tell him, hell, I'll cook it for you. We got a microwave in here. I'll make whatever you want. And we get close and we become friends. And we start balling together.

We play some basketball. He's backing up into me and I'm rubbing up against him. And I'm hard. I'm rock hard. And he feel it. And he should say, Ninja, what you doing? You fucking hard?

But he don't say nothing. He don't say nothing at all. So one day, this is important. You've got to let them know they can't whop you. You've got to let them know. They got to know they can't whoop you. So I say, Ninja, what you got to work out? What if somebody grabs you in here?

And I grab him kind of horsing around. But I ain't horsing around. I throw him on the bed. And I get him in a pin move. where he can't get out. And I say, see, now you're pinned. Real lighthearted like. He don't get mad or scared.

Yeah, that sounds lighthearted. Yeah, I'm not wrestling in prison. Now he knows he can't whip me. And they're like, over time, he's like building this whole manipulative scheme. And he's like, finally by the end, I come to him in the bed one night. And I say, Ninja, I love you. I love you. And I want you to be my ass.

That's how I got my wife. He's like, yeah, I want you to be my ass. And I want you to know I'm ready to die in the cell tonight. I'm ready to die if you ain't wanting to be my ass. I kill you if I got to because I loves you that much. And we start kissing and hugging. And it's been, you got to understand during this whole time, I ain't masturbated.

I ain't even touched it. So when I bust that nut, Oh! That's something like you on never had. Oh! And when I pull out, it goes, Why'd you watch this whole video? It's so wet.

I think you're in the 45 seconds in. This video is like 10 minutes long. He's such a good storyteller. When he's going on to the basketball, off, he'll be like, you know, when Kobe taught us that move, you know, you drive in and crisscross between the legs. The famous Kobe Bryant move, the ass rape. He literally mentions Kobe Bryant.

And he's like, you know, he taught us that move. And I drop it on him and I showed me. And then I'm up on his ass again. And I'm caressing. I'm caressing now. I'm getting, at first I saw a little ass pat, but then I work to a squeeze. This isn't even prison gay. This is just.

This is just objective. I was going to say At least he's a giving lover Dude, I'm telling you. He's looking at the guy that he's Raping and being like, I want you to come. Like,

Cooking videos, quite frankly. I don't need to see. Tales of ass rape. Put Alton Brown down for a night and watch the booty ward. I'm telling you, this guy is going to blow that out of the water. You're going to lose your appetite. I'm,

I'm good. I'm good. I've now fulfilled my quota of gay for the next 20 years. Imagine how full up we are around here. You think that, don't you? Oh, no. I only know of him when you ask that question. I only know of that because of the, bless you, my dog just knees,

of Boondock Saints. Yep. Yeah, when it's, hey that Chris Hanson. The Chris Hansen. So, like, the setup is, it's an episode of To Catch a Predator with Chris Hanson, which I haven't you guys had? at him on the show before. Yeah.

Yeah. No shit. So yeah, he's like sitting in the, in the, in the, in the kitchen, like every fucking episode of to catch a predator or whatever. And then that guy shows up because I'm sure whoever wrote the show like had seen this interview or had heard about the dude. And, uh, Chris Hansen shows up and he's like, oh, you're here to meet a 13 year old boy and running through his normal spiel and the guy, uh, what's his name?

Booty, booty warrior. Yeah. He's like, oh, no, you got me all. twist it up, Chris Hanson. Or as I like to call you Chris handsome, because I didn't come here for an old boy, but I came here for a man butt.

He's like, I love you, Chris Hanson, and I won't you. And I won't have you. The punchline to the joke is he rapes Chris Hanson. Yeah. I'm like, Chris Hanson's still doing to catch a predator. That guy needs to

freshen it up. Next week, Painkill already. Episode 800 and Dude, he's got a YouTube I mentioned it when I saw it, but he's got a YouTube channel where he's doing rather long format Catch a Predator stuff still. It is very in depth with like the manipulation.

They've got decoys now that not only talk to the pedophile on the phone, like, yeah, I'm little Kaylee. Come over here now. They'll also be like standing in the doorway, like come on in. Like she looks kind of underage. And one bit that they do is it's like an aunt

pimping out her niece and so he comes in and there's like an older lady, you know, late 30s, early 40s, and then there's like a 14 year old niece and she's like, yeah, go put on your lingerie for this gentleman while we discuss business. And then they like discuss a little business

and then Chris Hanson comes out and it's like oh fuck you've, there's so much evidence. Wait, have you been documenting this conversation I've been having with this 12 year old girl? Fuck! Yes. Yes. they have.

You lured me in with Peter. Chris, I'm so glad you're here. I'm doing a sting on this pimp. Chris Hanson. Oh, my God. Oh, thank God. You're here.

This woman who's trying to get him to fuck a 13-year-old. You won't believe this. Of all people to bump into. Oh, no. All this Zima is for me. Every time I hear about Chris Hansen and his like business dealings, it's something a little not so. Hill, you know, like obviously when he gave us, he gave us these commemorative coffee mugs that say like, our names and like have a seat right there.

And it's got like his face on it or something like that. I kind of hate that. I would not want that in my cupboard. Oh, they're hilarious. It's a conversation piece. And he sent us all one because he was late to his, he couldn't make his first appearance and he had to postpone to a couple weeks later. And as an apology, he had these mugs made for us. He defrauded the company that made them.

It's a news story. He never paid them. and it became like a civil suit where like our mugs were technically evidence. I have evidenced by coffee mugs. Yeah. And then Theo Vaughn was talking about he's like, yeah,

we had, we had him come in and we put him up in a hotel nearby for the recording session. Man, he went ham on our account, getting spa treatments and all kind of massages and shit. He's like,

he fucked us out of $3,000. I saw that, yeah. Yeah. 3,000? Well, I pulled that number out of my ass. Okay, okay, okay. Don't go ahead. I'm sorry,

if you're litigious. But that's kind of funny. The big thing that came up like right when that show came off the air on, it wasn't MSNBC, was it? I think it was one of those. Yeah. Yeah. But it was like this big sting piece they did or whatever.

He had cheated on his wife or allegedly cheated on his wife. And the way that they brought it up was like, he holds all of these men accountable for their sex crimes, but he cheated on his wife with a 36-year-old. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. These are two completely different ballparks. Not that I can don't either, but trying to fuck a 14-year-old

and cheating on your spouse with a grown woman are two completely different things. Yeah, absolutely. You don't know what the relationship was like. And I think it was a coworker. he actually cheated with. So it's like somebody's with all day working with. You kind of understand what happened.

I don't think less of him because he cheated on his wife. I don't get a shit. Well, they could have been separated and on the rocks. Yeah, you know. They agreed. Yeah, they're going to fuck you. Get out of my house. I'm going to go fuck other women or whatever.

Yeah. The main thing that was always controversial about the show, and they just did a documentary about the show that I haven't watched yet. But there was that guy that killed himself. There's been a couple that killed themselves because they got outed. I think it was like a, He was like a congressman or something, wasn't he? Local politician of some kind of mayor or a comp troller.

Something kind of minor. He was on the board of the community, but he was like a shingle at least. He had to show up to a meeting every three months. It was very important. Yeah, the authorities went to get him after the fact because it was, I think it may have been whatever that guy's name is, when they didn't storm immediately. What? Do you remember when Borat or whatever his name was?

tried to entrap Oh, Rudy Giuliani? Oh, Julia, yeah. No, because he didn't try. They did. They could have gotten that man's dick out if they just stuck to the bit. That actress is a pussy, all right? When you take on a role, especially one, like a mockumentary role,

you better be down to see a little Giuliani dick, all right? That would have made the thing so much bigger. You could have filed sexual assault charges against him if he didn't continue to cooperate with the fucking mockumentary and let you in with some of the... with his political friends. You could have gotten Trump on the hook. You could have played that card to the max. I promise you,

if we've got hidden camera footage of Giuliani getting his dick out because he thinks he's with an Eastern European fucking prostitute who's, I think, underaged, we're going to use that footage. That is going to be what makes this movie. That's going to be in the trailer. But they kind of pussyed out and ran around.

I think the true story, like that, what you're saying is like the narrative that was being pushed in the film. But I think the, like, real story, if you like remove like all the editing and everything was essentially something to the point of like they had like a young woman in the room with him and they were like oh we need to mic you up or whatever like they basically were putting him in the situation where on camera it looked like yeah he's like he's up in his pants bro yeah yeah well they told him like we need to put your mic through and i don't know if this is the true story i just i've heard you know one way or the other yeah but it was like we need you to unbutton your pants and you're and unbutton your shirt away. So he's just doing what he's He's laying on a bed while he did it.

Yeah, he like, well, he leans back and stuff. Yeah. So, but the way that they framed it or like edited it down, it makes it look like he's alone in this room. Are you talking to Borat isn't a beacon for truth and justice? Well, does belong to a certain tribe. Yeah, I could believe that.

He was mean to those Cazex. It's true. Yeah. It could have been a set up. But it certainly is a bad look because he's, it seems like, she's like, yeah, let's get in bed. And he's like, much. Stuart and like lays back on the bed and starts getting his pants off.

I don't think that Giuliani ever made the claim that he was getting miced up. I'm looking into it now. He says he was tucking his shirt in. Now that I could almost believe. You can see him leaning back. And his pants were like eight inches above the navel. It was a hilarious. Yeah, but he wears his pants like a 1930s detective.

The fact that Donald Trump is the president and he's got all this power, he's done all these things. is truly one of the greatest comeback stories of all time. If you just reverse the tape back to that Giuliani press conference in front of that, like, fertilizer company or whatever in a back out. Four seasons landscaping. So basically, it's right after he lost that election, they call this emergency press conference. Juliani does, yeah, where they're going to put forward conspiracy theories about stolen elections. and such and promise to keep going forward.

We're going to do it at the Four Seasons. Well, one of the staffers, Google's Four Seasons real quick, and the first result, I guess, because they're local, they're in that area, is Four Seasons landscaping company. So they use that address. So now all of the global press has converged at not the Four Seasons Hotel, the Four Seasons Landscaping Company, which is like a back alley truck backup type, like loading dock entrance.

And so they glue Trump posters all over a filthy brick wall. And they put fucking Giuliani in front of it, sweating bullets. I don't know if his hair was melting in that instance. But I think in my memory, his hair is melting. And there's black oil pouring down out of him like he's an ooze monster from Dune or something. Like he's Baron Hark Conan coming out of his fucking oil bath or something like that. I think he was, because he had that spray point. to like running it all and winning again.

It's incredible. It's sad. I watched. I never seen the movie Miracle about the 1980. The hockey team. Yeah, yeah. I'd never seen it before. I watched it the other day.

It's pretty good. Kurt Russell does a really convincing Minnesota accent. I was pretty inspired, but I got to the end and I was like, Trump eats this. Oh, the Soviets won four in a row before this. Trump beats this.

We have to bring up the reflection pool. Oh, the reflection pool. It's beautiful. I love it. It looks like that shit that Jack Nicholson fell in and that turned him into the Joker. They measured it as the most algae in the month of June in the last five years. It is the worst it's ever been. Well, they explained why.

because when they started the water back up, the water that was pumping in was going through all of the tubes and everything. And all those tubes had algae build up in them. So they said that it pushed all the algae out there. And the people that, what do you call it, NBC and CNBC, they knew this. So they went there and they were taking water samples to show, oh, look at all the algae levels. When supposedly they're saying that that's going to be cleared up.

within like a week or so once, you know, they put all the treatment in there and it kills all the algae again. And there were people out there protesting. The hydrogen peroxide. And now the American flag blue paint is peeling off of the bottom. Oh, no. Yeah, because they poured so much hydrogen peroxide in there. And that thing about it coming from the pipes might be true, but it's also horseshit because algae grows incredibly fast as a fish guy. I know something about algae control and I else have a pool. Because it's hot and because it's shallow, which makes the water warm and ducks poop in it, there is an infinite amount of fuel for the algae to grow. The duck poop is basically nitrogen, which is what algae grows on. And so it is a tough problem to solve to keep

this thing algae. It's almost like it's designed to grow algae. Okay, we'll circle back to that. but it is worse than it's ever been and this idea that like little algae came out of the pipes is just another White House lie like they're just saying shit because there's so much more algae trout I have a question than it's ever been because I

saw pictures in 2012 where it was really I don't know about 2012 question for it couldn't be worse than it's ever been I said five years twice in what world is the this orange man's fault?

Oh, his face is all over this project. He in, so if you don't know, Biden tried, I'm sorry, Obama tried to fix it. It spent $30 million.

Really didn't fix it. Didn't get better. Biden got quotes for trying to fix it. And it came back at $100 million. At which point Biden was like, no, nope, nope, nope, not going to redecorate Washington, D.C. for $100 million.

America has bigger priorities. Biden didn't do anything. So then it rolls, over to Trump and Trump tells the story about how he's got this pool guy he knows who can fix it for $1 million. And he personally picked out this guy, gave him a no bid contract. Turns out it's $14 million at least and it's not fixed. But Trump now has distanced himself saying I don't know who this pool guy is. He's not even a pool guy. He's actually a guy who does linings inside of pipes for repairs. And the whole American flag blue, this was Trump's, one of Trump's many sort of redecorate Washington

DC projects and it's bad. So that's why it was Trump's idea from the get go and that's why it's on him. How much have they spent? 14 million but the pay. I guess a hundred million dollar, you know, bid during the Biden administration. That seems like a fucking sweet deal. Well, they didn't fix it though. No, it's worse.

Not yet. They'll never fix it. The problem isn't the pool. The problem is the pile. pipes underneath the pool that are broken, which don't allow them to circulate the water. I don't care how many ducks you got shit in there. If you circulate the water through a filter system, it will just come out clean. Here we've got these catfish farms that build artificial rectangular ponds that are several hundred feet long and maybe 50 feet wide or something.

Maybe not quite that big. But anyway, they have a paddle wheel that continuously circulates the water and filters the water. They can't treat it because there's live catfish living in there. you can't like dose it with chlorine. So you have to use either the catfish eat a good bit of it, but they have to use this system to filter it constantly and the amount of algae that they pull out of there. I think they use it for pig feed. Like there's so much of it that they found a use for it.

Like they're making so much all the time. The same is true here. If there's just a filtration system, there's these 12 inch pipes all underneath that reflecting pool that are supposed to be drawing the water in, filtering it and pumping it back in. They leak though. So they're not doing that. that and they didn't fix those.

They just put a new liner in the thing and let the hot water sit in there stagnating while duck shit in it. It's never going to be good no matter how much paroxic. You're going to dump so much peroxide in there daily that algae can't grow? Then you've just created a chemical spill that is into the marshland of DC. They are producing algae, which I will have you know are one of the greatest cleansers of the atmosphere. They take CO2 and they turn it into pure O2.

baby, pure oxygen. You're listening to the mainstream media telling you that you fuck this thing up. But what you aren't hearing is that he is one of the greatest presidents when it comes to addressing climate change. The move is to embrace green.

Like, the move is not to try... Green reflecting pool. Yeah. But the pool should be nice. Okay. I don't know why it's so expensive. Like, in my head, I'm like, the pool should... It's a really... really long pool, we agree, right? But it's not that wide. Why doesn't it just flow sideways to a

filtration system? You can have a tremendous amount of volume. Like the one side, it should just pour into the filtration system and sort of flow that way. Like I said, it's got this whole network of underground pipes that are supposed to be doing all this, but those are broken and leaking. And so they can't run them. And so they ignore the problem. Oh, they're not running? No. They ignored the systemic problem of not filtering the water and try to fix it by making the bottom blue and shocking it like it was a dirty pool. When instead, it's hundreds of

Yeah. Yeah. I saw the blue paint floating on top of the surface and I was like, it it's thick, like thicker than normal paint. And I'm like, oh, this is going to be fucking shit show. It's, you can't

put the paint back while the water's there. Like you got everything he did just turned it into a wreck. What if you try really hard? Yeah. What if you really get a roller in there? My only point of reference is, Jenny. Is it like waist deep? Like is that actually?

No, no. It's like, I'm going to check that. Jenny was at her shins or knees, I think. It's something like that. Like, yeah. So would it have been better? Because I know a few years ago, the pool was all green. It's green right now.

It's always green. leave it green like that well but that was look shitty yeah it's 18 inches deep at the sides and 30 inches deep in the middle I didn't just deep in the middle yeah just get rid of it so I thought it was all the same are any of us like high pool no don't don't get rid of it I'm not on that train you know what I'd change it to I change to a giant OLED screen. I'd drive that whole thing up and I put a little bit of O-Lead in there.

Yeah, and it would be whatever I wanted to be. It would be a pretty, it would be a pretty sick extra large hockey rink. Yeah, but isn't it, wasn't the I like a half a billion dollars or something? Yeah, they invested like a fuck trillion dollars and that they have not seen a return yet.

They had that one called the I in Las Vegas. Oh. The sphere. The sphere. That's it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They project an eye on it.

That's why I called it that. Sorry. I love the sphere. That thing is so fucking cool. That UFC event that was there is on my Mount Rushmore of events. Like, just the visuals and like, that's when I wish I'd gone to. That was incredible. It's pretty neat.

I haven't seen it in person. I do know they're having a hard time getting people to book it. It's so expensive. It's hard to turn a profit booking it that high unless it's the weekend. Yeah. I think they do shows there. Like they put on their own like entertainments like movies and stuff like that. And just like the 4D kind of thing of it where they shoot you with the,

they're like dropping confetti on you and hitting you with steam and stuff. It looks like a lot of fun. It'd be so fun to be in there on acid. I've never done acid, but I, that's not where I would do it. I want a controlled set. I want my heated blanket, my scented candles. Maybe on the couch with my wife for start. And then we'll go to the sphere.

See, acid isn't one of those drugs that makes you feel like you've been dosed and you're not capable of handling yourself anymore. It's just like opening your third eye and letting you see stuff that wasn't there before. You feel like a, now you can see the fucking ultraviolet spectrum that lets you see when things wiggle now. I don't, I didn't feel like dizzy or like I couldn't jog down a street giggling to myself. Like I'd fall over or anything like that. I didn't feel like I get scared. really good experience surrounded by friends in a Colorado like cabin resort type thing. That is the like mindset and setting that's perfect.

Just because you've never had a bad trip doesn't mean that if you go to the fucking sphere filled with strangers in techno music, that that isn't like the recipe for going wrong. I feel strongly that it would be good. Maybe not for the first time because the first time. because the first time you are learning what this feels like and what your limitations are and how you're actually altered and what things will be cool to you personally because like dirty didn't have the same reaction as me. He seemed frightened and like silly and mostly frightened and kind of weird. Whereas some of us got like real giggly and just really wanted to see more things and see what the moon looked like or what a painting would look like or whatever. So maybe that's true.

But the way that I reacted to it, I would love to go to the sphere and watch something wild. The next day or the next two or three days, was there any like swing to the downside where like, like you took all the joy from the next two days and had it that night? No, not in the slightest. Like it lasts a long time, like maybe 12 hours or maybe even a little bit more. So we started at like 6 p.m. or something. And I stayed up all night to like enjoy, get the most out of the high. like early morning like 5 a.m. or something, I was like coming down from it. And I just felt like, oh man, somebody turned the giggle lights off. You know, things don't wiggle as much anymore.

But I didn't feel like depressed or depleted or like I had the same way that a stimulant would make you feel where you've been burning the candle at both in. Right. Even caffeine kind of is a crash. Yeah. I feel anything like that. I still had better than average energy probably and just sort of went to bed and even when I woke up, I felt like just fine, like maybe better than a normal morning. You would set yourself up. So for the next 12 hours, you didn't have to drive or make any important decisions. You're not, you can't just turn it off. No, no. This isn't one of those things where you just like, all right, I'm sober. I am sober now. I'm sober man. At six a. At six a.m. I had to go on a two-hour road trip, had to have conversation with my parents and then my attorney and a job

it. Yeah. Just hope that nothing important happens. Like while you're on it. I just feel like I'd make bad decisions, but I felt like I might be making a weird face. You know? I might be like giving you

gougly eyes. Like I wouldn't want to talk to the authorities or something. What if you were like taking in bad data or data that wasn't there? You know, who's to say? Because it's your own perception and nobody's fact checking you and you're not recording it to watch back later. Right. You're watching Alice in Wonderland and there were no tests.

Right? But if I, yeah, okay. Like if your dad called you, would you... Oh, I'd have been totally fine. Totally fine? Okay. Oh, 100%. Do you think you could pull it off in front of your dad? Well, first of all, I would just tell him that I, like, hey, you won't believe this. Okay, hypothetical. Make it, make it someone who you don't want to know.

All right, you keep it short. Don't get too giggly about it. You know, I've had a great time out here. I've had a few beers. You know, you can tell a lie to explain any squirreliness in your voice or whatever. I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable having that phone conversation. The coolest thing to watch were these YouTube videos that we put on the big projector that was like techno music that kept building and increasing and intensity until there was a big crash. But then the visuals would be like this black and white video of like a boat, like a speedboat cutting through white water and the water separating away from it. And then those waves would like do weird geometric patterns and then you would like zoom in and there would be fracting. fractal images and stuff and constantly like,

doom, doong, doong, do and just really cool, like, fractal image visuals. That was pleasurable to watch. Like, it felt good to watch. Who knew to put that on? No, no, no, and I'm not trying to out anyone. Did someone, had they done that before on acid? Like, how did somebody know that would be a good idea? That was me.

I just knew that visuals were the main thing that was being altered, because like there was a clown painting in the rec room like a silly one and like looking at it wiggle and sort of vibrate and jiggle and the colors would pulsate and throbb. Throb is the word. And then the moon was the same way. The moon was like this throbbing heartbeat of the sky that would move. Maybe I missed this but paint the picture. Where are we at? Who are we hanging out? Colorado. Colorado on like a vacation with a bunch of friends like a bunch of high. mountains in the city. No, we're in the city, but we've got a whole house with a nice, like, enclosed backyard with a fire, like, built in it and like lounge chairs around that. And then down in the basement, we've got, like, movie theater seating, like multiple rows of that with a really big, like, 100-something-inch projection screen TV to watch. And these are like boys, boys, or these are like... Yeah, I mean, kind of. Honestly, this is a good advertisement for the Patreon, because all of these people are from the Patreon.

They're in the $50 Discord. Yeah. You physically meet your patrons? Yeah. Them and then just like gaming friends. Like I've got a lot of gaming friends that I've been friends with for 15 years or whatever. You know, I've just spent who knows how many nights. Like I've spent more time with them than I have with my girlfriend.

You know, I live with her. But me and Scum have spent multiple entire weekends together where we do nothing but sleep and wake up and play rust some more. Same with like me and Middy or me and Fish. Like me and those guys have played hundreds and thousands of hours of cooperative video games where there's a lot of dead times where we're just building or harvesting resources. And we're just talking about our lives and families and stuff. Like they're some of my closest friends. So you all just decided like, hey, let's go to Colorado and fucking hang out. Well, I was getting off.

I was my probation period was finally ending. I had been sober for like five years from the time I got arrested to the time I, my final like day of probation happened. So I had zeroed in and planned this vacation to like break my sober spell and go to Colorado and get wicked high. That was probably like right when Colorado's legalized weed too, right? No, no, no. No, years. There are many years after that. When did you go to prison?

This is about, I don't really remember, but this is about five years ago. Okay. Something like that. Five, six years ago, something like that roughly. I have another related question to acid. So I did ketamine. I was like depressed, talked to a doctor. They prescribed ketamine.

is like a thing to work through it. And there's no way while I did that, it would have been a good idea to maintain a fire. Do you think you could have maintained the fireplace? We did.

Pretending it had wood. Oh, on acid. It was no trouble. We had an outdoor like fire pit that we were keeping. It wasn't gas. Dude, no, no, wood fire. We went and bought tons of wood.

And you know how, how those little sparkles come up and like float away. That's a cool thing to stay. Just staring into that fire and the embers. with their blacks and oranges and the coals and the little sooty bits floating up

and like going into the air. That was almost as fun to watch as the wild techno, like fractal video that we were watching. Everything is beautiful to watch. Have you ever done... Have you ever done mushrooms? Yeah, I have really bad reactions to mushrooms.

Oh, you don't like that. I never have visual hallucinations. I have impairment. I feel a little dizzy. I get nauseous. I had panic attack and panic. out in public on mushrooms one time. Really?

Yeah. So Trout, the first time I did mushrooms, I'm on a motorcycle camping trip, and I didn't know this was coming or whatever, but one of my friends that I was with found a place in Canada where, like, basically you buy a polo shirt from them, and in the box they slip in mushrooms. It's like a legal technicality type deal. It's a gift or whatever. Free. You buy this shirt and the mushrooms.

The shirts are $80 for a quarter. So that's how we got the mushrooms. And I didn't know nothing about it. They ground them up and I chased it with water. And I did one gram. If anyone knows mushrooms, a micro dose is like 0.2 grams. And a hero's dose is like 3 to 5. So I was somewhere in between those.

Trout, you line up with that? That's that's a lot for first time not knowing what you're doing one is a lot you think for one is a lot yeah for not well had you eaten Yes. Oh yeah yeah. Yeah it's still that's still like a You think that's a bunch. Okay. Okay. So anyway The effect on me was everything became super funny. I found my friends extra charming and something about the smoke in the embers like you said they're captivating sober in my opinion, but on mushrooms, they're triple that.

I think mushrooms are one of those things that are dosed differently because it's obviously a wild mushroom. There's also different kinds of hallucinic mushrooms with, I know psilocybin is the main psychoactive ingredient, but I think there are others the same way there are multiple cannabinoids

in marijuana. But the first time I took mushrooms, I ate, we got a quarter of an ounce, we cut it into fours, quarters, and then I ate one of those and it just didn't do much at all and so then I ate an eighth of an ounce

which is 3.5 grams and all that did was sort of turn the contrast up on the world to me it felt like the greens of the fort we went to the park and the leaves were like greener than they should have been

like you adjusted the picture on your TV and made it extra vibrant and I was okay with that but what I really wanted, obviously, was to see the pink elephants, like in the cartoon. I wanted to see a thing that wasn't really there, not just make colors a little more vibrant and be a little giggly. And so the next time I took mushrooms, I ate, I don't know, five, six grams, something like that. And that's when I had the panic attack. But I didn't see or feel anything fun.

I just got scared, nauseous. I will say when I was driving, the road sort of stretched away from me. You were driving, you just said? pretend like I wasn't, but I was driving down the interstate, and it was like I was driving on a rubber band and someone had a hold of the other end of it, and they were pulling it.

And so I was like, good thing, we're not going far. Yeah, just you're sitting still and everything just keeps going to. I know exactly what you're just driving. It was getting long and skinny in front of me. Like reality was stretching out. That's the only cool thing I saw, and that was when I was probably driving.

And then I got to Walmart and had a full-blown panic attack, passed out face first into one of those. sunglasses carousels cut my face up went unconscious woke up and I was blind couldn't see had a whole crowd around me and had to make an escape before the had to talk to the authorities had to convince two two EMTs and a cop that I was sober and they let me go and it is such a timonaric thing to fall into oh it was hilarious it was hilarious I did dozens of dollars worth of damages it was it was the last time I took mushrooms was about the year ago and somebody had one of those candy bars that's a mushroom candy bar.

Yeah, the little squares you break up. I broke off eight grams of that, motherfucker. I think it was a 12 gram bar and I ate eight grams of it. That doesn't feel right. That sent me to a place of sadness and depression and cold isolation of like a soul. It felt like I was in a prison of ice, like my soul was in a prison of ice. was in a prison of ice and there was nothing good about life or the world anymore and i almost cried just sitting there thinking about how awful humanity is and the world is and i was so lonely i had this

loneliness like gripping me like like like an icy cold fist and i was like i'm going to have to go upstairs and cuddle with my girlfriend and sob i didn't do that manned up i drank some water and eventually like I didn't feel like killing myself anymore. So I've sworn off mushrooms. No more mushrooms from me. The thing I would tell people, if it, I haven't tried many drugs, but the commonality I think is so important is set and setting. That's what drug experts would tell you. Set means mindset. So don't do this stuff when you're having a bad day, when you're like depressed or confused or stressed or whatever. No, no, no, no. You should be in a good place beforehand. And then the setting, well that that speaks for itself like i like i don't know a clean room a scented candle maybe my

wife like that's our campfire and campfire is great with your friends don't maybe not too much around a fire but uh this idea of like doing shrooms and going to walmart is like the worst idea i was going to say what i was the opposite of right i had two questions for kail on that one uh state of mind are you a generally happy person oh yeah it's hard you're to get me down. I'm really good at putting things in perspective and looking on the sunny side of life. It's pretty hard to get me like actually down because I'm one of those people who's like, it can always get worse. I remember one time me and my dad were fixing a broken pipe that was really close against a building and it was hot and sweaty and my hands were cut because there was

no way to get to the broken pipe goods. You had to scrape every time you turned the wrench and we were mucky and stinky and you couldn't stop doing this job because it's a water pipe that's feeding 25,000 animals. Like, we have to finish this job. And I remember thinking, you know how much worse it'd be if it started raining right now? It can always get worse. And I apply that raining thing to everything in life whenever something is awful. Even if it's like a family member's funeral, imagine if it rained now. Like, it can always get worse. So just be happy with what you've got, especially when it's out of your hands. I'm really good at putting that stuff in perspective. When I was waiting on my like verdict or not verdict but sentencing, I was like, this is out of my hands.

I'm going to represent myself as well as I can in court. I've got the best lawyer that I think I can find. It's out of my hands now. I've done my best. Whatever happens happens. I just made my piece with the worst case scenario. And anything less than that is fucking cherries on top. And it's hard to get me down.

But those mushrooms took all that away. That's still drifted all that away. Yeah. When you said that it like sent you a, like, sent you a. into a depressive spiral. Every time I allegedly eat mushrooms or mushroom chocolate, it just, I become the happiest guy in the world.

Like, I become so, like, lovey-dovey. I fell in love with a tree in the backyard of one of my friends' houses. It was the middle of the night. Did the tree have a hole in it? I didn't fucking tree. Love doesn't necessarily need to involve sex, Woody.

It does for me, okay? I was a tree. actually. Now, if you didn't hear the conversation I had with that tree. No, she was beautiful. Oh, look at that. Well, like, like Kyle said, like the color, like the contrast, the colors were just so much. It was like a full moon.

And where I was standing, I just went out back in my buddy's backyard. And I'm looking at this tree and there's a very gentle breeze. And it's like a warm night. And whatever species of tree it was, the leaves are a little bit reflective. So like the moonlight up from this full moon is like the nice thing through the tree. I think live boat. But yeah. And so it's kind of shining and waving back and forth.

And I was just standing there. And I'm literally like tears streaming down my face. My buddy comes out to check on me because it's like, oh, fucking trout just ate some shrooms. And we haven't seen him in 20 minutes. He's been out back. And I'm just standing in his backyard like, it's so beautiful. like oh maybe maybe come inside buddy that sounds awesome

that's a dendrophilia people who have a sexual attraction to trees I didn't want to fuck the tree I fell in love with it everybody's all hung out and you frown to fuck the tree Trout put his dick in the tree Trout's coming on the tree

Look at his dick It's all sappy It was just a pretty tree That's not a dick Fertilized plants It's where it starts It always starts And then you're pretty

The other time, oh, this is a scary story. I was on kind of like a date. I went on like a trip with this girl. I was like half dating at the time. We went to a national park and they have like a mountain. I don't know why I phrased it that way as if you've never heard of what a mountain is. They have this thing called a mountain. So we had this idea.

We camp out the night before. And then we're like, oh, we got, you know, shroom chocolate like Kyle was talking about. and I can't remember what the dosage was. I seemed like really weird about the one milligram or one gram that you said, Woody. I don't know because then Kyle said like fucking five grams. So it feels like somewhere in the in between eight sounds bananas. But it was like each of us, we ate like a quarter of this chocolate bar and went on this hike. And then we got to the end of the trail.

And we get to the end of the trail. Well, the peak of the mountain is still up there. And there's nothing paved. There's no staircase. Like you can get to the top of the mountain if you have some balls. You just have to literally like stick your hand into crevices in the rock and climb up, like sliding your belly along the side of this fucking mountain. And I'm terrified of heights.

If you look to your right, it's like an 800 footfall down onto the top of pine trees. If you look to your left, it's a 80 footfall onto the trail you just departed from. finally make our way up to the top of this mountain going up to the easy part and then we're sitting up there and I have this beautiful moment where I'm like at fully at peace with nature feeling the shrooms looking around you can literally see Mexico like it's over there the wind blowing through my hair and then I get this like wash through my mind and I'm reset and I was like I am on drugs and I'm on top of a mountain fuck fuck fuck His existential crisis is he doesn't know whether he likes the girl or the trees. I wanted to fuck the trees. She was totally fine. Climbing back down. It is so embarrassing to be terrified, like shimmying down a mountain in front of a chick you want to fuck.

There's no recovery. This episode is brought to you by Activia. You might already be eating yogurt, but not all yogurts are created equal. Activia contains over one billion probiotics per serving to survive and reach the good. gut alive. When it comes to gut health, Activia is the number one family doctor-recommended probiotic yogurt brand. Choose Activia. Feel good from the inside out. Visitactivia.ca for more details. And you had to try and pretend to be like cool through it. We're like, oh, the entire time. I don't even care. Yeah. No, this is totally chill on my, uh. I'm not crying.

My watchman. No, I'm not crying. There's a lot of sand flying. it's not going to focus. But there's scratches all over my very nice watch from where I was like glued to the surface of the mountain shimming down like a fucking lizard. During that like, I don't know, story of Trout's pivotal life experience, Kyle's posting pictures of Jed Ben Shapiro's sister's tits over here in the jazz.

Oh, is that what that is? That gigantic big link. Yeah. that big one That can't be real That can't be real She's in like She's in China

That link's almost as big as them titties Yeah I don't know if that's her What a queen Big shout out To Benjamin Yeah Bing never let me down That's the greatest piece of advice Wings of Redemption ever gave me

Yes Bing your pornography Woo here she is all jiggly Oh here I sent to jiggle one Oh no please don't bucket your cats. Look at that one. A little giggle.

A little gift action there for you. What a, what, she should be the spokesman for her people. I'm going to tell you right now.

17 billion more to Israel. Whatever they need. You can have 10 billion per titty. This is a country that needs support. Taking a look at that picture, I think it might have been seven. Titties need more support than Israel gets, huh?

It's colossal. I bet they're so heavy. I just want to... Sometimes you see some big ones on a smaller girl. It could be kind of deceptive. You know, cup sizes aren't about, like, total inches. It's about comparative inches between the underbust. Yeah, the underbust to the bust.

So, like, not all double Ds are created equal. You know what I mean? Like, those look heavy, though. Those look like... Trout, we've lost Kyle to the Kazan hackers. It'd be like... You ever see those candy makers? You ever see when a candy maker has like the taffy when it's real hot

and they've got the oil on their hands? And they can barely keep it in one blob. It's just trying to move everywhere. So they got to keep, keep motion going. Get comfortable listeners. I think this is the next 25 minutes of the show. Kyle's horny.

We lost him to the Jews. We lost them. It's like a non-Newtonian fluid. So if I were like like a little cap, they'd be hard. and they get some bounce back. I don't know. I don't know. Are they like stretch Armstrong?

Could I like really get them like and like nap them? This is how we learn. This is how we learn Kyle's never touched boobs. He doesn't know. Yeah, they're like, you know, bag of bag.

Bags of sand, right? Yeah, no, it tastes like milk and pennies. I knew this one girl, she was a real movie, milk and pennies. No, it's like, that's an ancient fucking meme about what

pussy tastes like. Apparently it tastes like milk and pennies if you're a liar and your girlfriend that's in Canada. I think it shouldn't taste like anything. Certainly not milk and pennies. You miss the pussy if you're tasting milk and pennies. I just know, Kyle, you're like posting

Indian scammer length lengths over here. Why is it making me log into my Chase bank account? Look, these are being links. all right you know I take what I can get these are colossal just all right anyway huge shout I'm doing after this I'm I will keep you shout out Abby Shapiro's tit you know maybe that only maybe that shit in Palestine is justified

maybe maybe the river should keep it from the river time I look at him I think maybe it was justified you know You know, I heard that news story the other day that apparently it's not, it's true. They've been raping those Palestinians with dogs. Like, that's just a thing that the Israelis do in their like gulag prison is they let the dog. That's just so horrible. It's hard to believe. But that doesn't mean it's not true.

I saw a first-hand account from a guy like telling the story of being raped by a dog. Like it's like torture? Yeah, like torture and punishment, humiliation. Yeah. I would have it would be a small dog. Yeah, how do they? Pomeranians. He said they like

said the dog's name or something like that And it just mounted him I don't know why I assume they were only raping women Oh no They're ripping everybody Hide you kids Hide your wife Antoine

There's a crowbag Oh no A golden doodle Oh God Dude that's who should have been at that Mr. Beast video Antoine Dodbs Was chocolate rain there?

Yes. Oh my God. Oh, I've met him before. Yeah. Tate, what's his name? Tazonde. Tazonde. Yeah.

I had met him before. It's not hard to do, but I beat Tazande in a dancing competition. I met him in L.A. You were quite the fleet-footed dancer. I did my best. Yeah, some of said he's danced with the stars. Tayzande was hanging out with the double rainbow guy and I was like this is internetception

I'm sitting down at this table and I sat and chad with him for a little while like it was so weird that there's chocolate rain and there's double rainbow here this is this is hilarious I used I burnt chocolate rain into a CD when it came out because I thought it was so catchy I was listening to that in the car

I was going through the I specifically had this weird memory of going to McDonald's for breakfast one morning be like chocolate rain, some seek shelter of this field the pain look great. Yeah, two McGrittles. Do you think his voice is actually like that? When I've seen him, I mean, I don't know. It seemed like it was. It does.

So he does talk like that all the time. I've spent a few days with him and his voice is always super low. But also, like, ever do that thing? Hopefully when no one has to listen to you where you're like, yeah that's kind of his voice like he does this really low almost not he like i'm chocolate and it's just like like almost like a girl would do a really low voice of course they can't pull it off he can but his voice says that's what he's doing all the time like hi i'm chocolate ray and it's like do you have like another voice that you can pull out?

It's like a little bit faster pace. He's really slow when he talks to. How long does it take you to order at restaurants? Right, right? Like yeah, that's that's his voice. Now, I think he is lower than most, but then he just sort of amps it up. Yeah.

Well, I mean, it's what he's known for. So why wouldn't you play up to that, I guess? Because then, I mean, as soon as you hear the voice, if you're not sure you're like, are you the chocolate? Oh, you're the chocolate ring guy. You know, they immediately know from the voice. Isn't you kind of a small guy, too? Yeah, call him 5-8, something like that.

Oh, he's a little fella. Not a stand-out, small, but smaller than me. Diminutive. I don't know if diminutive is how I would call a 5-8 person. I think of that is like 5-6. I would. Yeah, no, anybody under 5-10, yeah. I do. They're called women.

Well, most women are diminutive. I wish Taylor was short. That'd be such a fun personality trait for him. It's lame that he's like six feet taller, like 5-11-and-a-half or something, just right down the middle, tall guy. If you were like, would you, all right, here's a little question, Taylor, a little, would you, would you take the bad, or not the bad, the deal? Would you give away

four inches of height and B-5-8, but you double all of your lifts. No. I was going to go halfway there. Would you give away two inches for 40 pounds of muscle? Wait, wait, wait, wait. He said double your lifts. So are you just getting stronger or do you look

the way you would if you could both lift double? He will look like a cartoon character. He'll look like fucking Lex Lugar or something like that. He's going to look outrageous. Taylor, do you bench 300? I haven't done like a hard bench in a while, but I did for a long time bench well over 300. Yeah. Like 325?

335 was like a working way. Dude, benching 670 is outrageous. That's true. You might be scary. I'd be close to the deadlift world record. I would look like the juggernaut. I wonder what the world record bench is. Because when I, when I imagine Taylor benching 335 he's not wearing a shirt that gives him 25 pounds of arm back and like all the other bullshit. I bet he's not

doing that chest up thing to shrink his range of motion or some ridiculously why it just work out benching. So the guys who bench 670 are doing it weirdly. Yeah they have that weird back arch. They only move like

they have like four inches of movement in the bar. Yeah. You'll be flat-backed and just ease full range of motion. Like Captain America does it. I like being purging on superhero territory. I like being six feet tall. It's nice. I might do it.

I might give away the four inches for the super hero levels of strength. Well, you're six one and a half, six two. So you could trade a couple. No, I'm going all the way to five eight. I'm just saying that's what I actually mean. I would go down to five eight to be double as strong. Are you 6-2-6-2 or 6-foot rounding up to the nearest 2 inches? I'm close to 6-3 than I am to 6-1.

No shit. Yeah. God damn, that means you're taller than me. I do what I want. I'm tall as fuck. That means you're tall as hell. My doctor made me better foot measure. Whenever I meet other YouTubers, they've always been taller than me.

Like, it's kind of a weird aberration that so many YouTubers are these big tall guys. Is Hutch taller than you? He's tall. Yeah. Yeah. Hutch is like 6-4 legit. Harley. Harley's really tall. Mr. Sark is really tall.

Richard Ryan. Harley's really tall. Mr. Sark is really fucking those guys are all tall. No. No, I think he's a really tall as well. He's got to be a legit six two or three. Harley is a monster. When I showed up in his place and in Texas a couple of years ago and he was like,

Taylor, we're filming a epic meal time. Come join. I was like, all right. like he's just the whole time I'm filming next to Harley and I'm like this is terrible for me I look tiny because this guy's like six foot seven or something retarded and just towering oh like Sam Hyde too he's like six five he's just a yeah motherfucker is he taller than Harley I would say Sam Sam and Harley are similar except Harley's a little taller when I met Sam on those occasions.

But Sam has lips. Sam also is, yeah, one of the funniest things that Sam does is he'll be like, I'm 6'5, but I wear lifts in my shoes because I'm going to be like 6'8. And it's like he is. He's a, when you meet Sam Hyde, he's a monster. He's a huge person. Yeah, I always tried. He's wider than Harley.

That's what I was saying. Yeah, I just said that. Yeah. He's like he's wider and slightly more muscular than Harley, but Harley's like Intimidatingly tall. He's one of the few people where when I talk to him I have to like cock my head back to make eye contact I would always try to flub my height when I was taking pictures with him and I got this guy Went on this hunting trip with this guy Dino who's Yeah, he's way taller than me

But then with that guy Dina we were on this like helicopter hunting trip and Dino's like six four and a half or something and he's like a big, built, wide ex-marine. And we were standing in front of the trailer that had the helicopter on it. We thought that'd be a good little backdrop for our group photo. And they had one of those wooden four-by-fours that they've been using to, like, prop up the trailer because it was just sitting. And I grabbed that thing. And I drug it over to where I was standing, sort of the tall guys are in the back of the group, the guys in the front of the group.

You can't see the tall guys' feet. There's short guys in front of us. And I got that four by four block and put it on the ground and stood on that. And now I'm 6-6 or something like that merging on 6-7. I've got tactical boots on. So I'm closer to 6-8 than I am to 6-6. And Dino's there, giant fucker, 6-4. The picture goes on his Facebook and all these hunters and all these outdoorsmen Facebooks.

And people are messaging Dino because they know him in the community as the biggest guy. They know. And they're like, Dino, how fucking big is that Russian? He's just like, God dare. God damn it. He pumped me. I didn't see him doing it. I was at some Twitch event, I think.

Kyle was there too. And for like years, I do this thing where whenever they take a picture, they're like, on three, say cheese. One, two, I stand on my tippy toes. There's a picture. Kyle was wise to this. And I didn't know it, but they were taking a picture of our whole bodies. both of us are like jumping four feet in the air it's the photo snaps

our feet are this far off the ground we are in motion traveling up that was the video game awards that was a I presented the award to Cliffy B for like game of the year or something like that and then I was a real snotty about it and regretted it afterwards yeah I remember that

yeah I was snotty about it I thought it you know there's like a lot of people in the audience and then there was like the live stream had like 100,000 200,000 viewers so I was like I'm gonna I'm going to big time Cliffy B. And I had his like, I had the thing that like said that he had won in like the front of the crotch of my pants like down to my underwear and pulled it out. He didn't think it was funny.

He didn't, he didn't grin. He was clearly upset with me that I had made some silly joke in his moment. I felt bad about that. That was also the night. He was also the rest of the night. Yeah, that was also that the, um, Zor Gris and like got lost in L.A. drunk and confused. Oh, man.

That was the same night. That was a good time. There were a whole bunch of... Joliet, Kyle, where you and I fought in the front of a Marriott. Yep, that's Juliet. In the lobby or in the parking lot? Parking lot.

It was in the grassy area by the parking lot. The yard of the... Rassel? What were the rules? We were wrestling. Who won? We were just doing a little rassling. Taylor won. I won.

Taylor. Strong as an ox. He's hard to beat. Yeah. He also, like, wrestled a little bit in school and I just had no idea what I'm doing. Certainly. Oh, you were straight? Yeah, pretty

straight. Yeah, he tackled me to the ground. Yes, he did. Taylor, if I'm being honest. How's the vacation, Taylor? Any stories from that? No, just been chilling the whole time. Sunburned good? Deep sea fishing. Sunburn's still not great.

I've been one of those guys that's like wearing a sun shirt for the past couple days, like those long sleeve, like protect me from it, because I'm pink as hell on my upper arms. It's not, not ideal. And like I said, I was on such a good streak. I was on like a 12 year streak. No sunburns. And then I got sunburned as fuck, like our first day here. Because you were under a canopy that you thought gave you sun protection and didn't, right? Yes. It was, it was five hours into sitting under that thing that my father-in-law was like

oh I bet he said something funny 50% of UV rays I was like that's something that's something you should introduce to me let you know that there's something you're under only block half of the UV rays yes and I

I was lobster red it was like the point where showers were painful for a couple days I've been there yeah where are you at if you can if you're willing to share. East Coast of Florida.

You already said on PKK. Everybody wants to know, look. What's the address? I hooked up with a girl at that place that you're at one time, who I found out later had a major brain injury. And I just thought she was a little ditsy. But it turned out she was barely there. I fucked a retard in that city.

at Florida one day. Yeah, yeah, I really did. But you were like, it all still works, so. I'm going to tell you what. Like, we were talking about Shapiro's titties earlier, or sister's tidies earlier. This girl could compete. Like, maybe the nicest tities I've ever seen. Like, my girlfriend's not too far away. Couldn't count it's 10. Titties I've ever seen my fucking life. So I didn't care if she's a little retarded. And I didn't even find out how retarded she was until later on. But she had a traumatic brain injury, it turned out. You know, we were at bar drinking, so everybody's a little tipsy. You know, I didn't, I didn't catch on until later on.

I was like, why are you always so weird via text? You don't make any sense. And she's like, well, I did have that traumatic brain injury a few years ago. And I'm like, oh, so much makes sense now. I'm the episode 809. Kyle admits to statutory rape. Oh, she could, she could consent. She could fully consent.

She had a job. Not legally, but, you know, she had a word yes. job. She had a driver's license in a car. She knew some of what was happening. She remembered everything that after I explained what happened to her later on, you know. After you

coached her. I'm telling you, if you'd seen those knockers, you'd have been late. You've been okay with it. You'd gotten right on board. She was a real Abby Shapiro type. Nice beach there, too. Nice beach there, too. It's not a nice town, though. A little trashy.

Not a great town. A lot of Florida's like that. I think Tampa's a little trashy too, but I like going there as well. And then Orlando's a little touristy, but I've always enjoyed that as well. What's the one? They don't even have a beach. Like, they're right in the middle. I don't like the beach, though, so it's cool. It's a bunch of nonsense.

They have roller coasters. They got roller coasters, yeah. See, I don't like the sand. and the salt water. So you move that. I like everything else. Yeah. Well, does,

Georgia has beaches or no? Yeah. I don't find a picture there. They're very bad. I've been to Jekyll Island. They really are. Like muddy,

no good waves. Really murky, muddy brown water. Like trashy beaches, trashy towns. You'll think that Myrtle Beach is the fucking, is Abu Dhabi

after you've to Jekyll Island. You will be blown away by the running electricity and the steady stream of clean water that their pipes produce. Is that what it's called Jekyll Island?

Jekyll Island. What's the one island that Hilton Head? Is that in Georgia? That's not in the South Carolina. That's South Carolina, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I fucked that up.

Does North Carolina have good beaches, Woody? outstanding beaches but they're inconvenient yeah so north carolina has these barrier islands off the coast and between the barrier islands and the mainland i guess is the sound and it's like a giant bay but that means you have to drive like 30 minutes of bridges to get to the good beaches but once you're there it's really cool and they're not crowded they can't be the barrier islands are only like there's one road and then a house on either side of that road so that just does not, it can't be densely populated

so you have the beaches kind of to yourself. You know that beach where the Gulf oil spill like fucked it up? I can't think of what that in the golf, right? Yeah. Didn't I say golf? You just said where they're correcting me. No, no, okay.

It's called the something Valdez. No, he wants the beach name. That's like Alaska. I was trying to think of the name of the beach. It's called the Gulf of America. It's Taylor. But it was somewhere between maybe right after you cross from Alabama into Louisiana or somewhere near the border on the beach down there. We stopped at this restaurant for Cajun food. And it had like nice big open windows that faced the beach that was just right there, you know, behind the restaurant.

That was the first time I'd ever seen black people do beach stuff. I didn't know they did it. I had never seen black people play beach volleyball, write a ski do. They had one of those things where they haul out the big inflatable, like, who's he what's it, well, the kids hanging on to it. They were out there making sandcastles. I didn't know they did that shit. I had no idea.

I had that same experience. So one of my early jobs, I lived by the beach and I rented umbrellas and beach chairs and stuff to, you know, carried them down, whatever. And a black family rents the umbrella and a couple chairs. And he explains to me that he hates the beach, but his kids wanted to go. So he just took them to the beach. so that they could learn not to like the beach too. Yeah.

I want this to be a formative experience. I want them to get the sand in their crotch. I want them to have a terrible time. Nice rash, some jellyfish spings, work it all out. Yeah, I hate it. I hate the beach. But if the completely pale skin wasn't a complete giveaway, I immediately get set on fire when I go out to the beach,

no matter what SPF I put on. doesn't make a difference. I just don't like sand or saltwater or people. And so like the beach is just ground zero for my just hatred. Just hatred. Whenever I remember when there was that terrorist attack at Bondi Beach, I was like, all right. Things looking up.

I love the beach. 4,000 miles away in a different country. Somebody shot people at a beach. Surfing was central to my identity and sense of self-worth. I used to surf so much. I get up early and surf before school and then surf after school if the ways were worth it. I love the fucking ocean. Woody,

every time I see a like ocean like lifeguard in my head, I'm like, that guy hasn't saved as many people as Woody. How many did you get? A better lifeguard. You cut off his bogey board. 132 people I say. No fucking shit.

Seriously. Yeah. Not in one year or four years. Yeah. Wow. It wouldn't save so many if he hadn't to let them go out as far as they wanted. This guy gave no warnings. He's right.

Oh, it's because you were lacking days ago. Tide sign down one year. That's not true. But people would be like, can I go out far? And I was a really good swimmer. And I had records in college in high school and full confidence in my ability to pluck somebody out. And they'd be like, can I go out like far, like pass where I can touch? And I'm like, you're daze if you don't.

Well, you're a hot girl and I want to give you mouth to. mouth. Do whatever you want, babe. Mostly, there wasn't like hot girls getting saved. A lot of them were really young. One time, though, there were hot girls. They weren't drowning. They were on a Hobie cat that flipped upside down. So a hobie cat,

it's a small sailboat with like two holes. Like a Zach, can we have a picture of a Hobie cat? A catamaran. A catamaran. Okay, I know what a catamaran. Okay, Hobie cat's like the brand name. So anyway, Cabarin had flipped upside

down and the girls couldn't write it. So the senior guard, he made all the decisions. He's like, go help him, Woody. So I swam out there. And I had, I'm not a sailor. Like, I don't know fuck all about flipping catamaranes over. I'm just trying, like, hanging on it, you know, trying to get it to roll over. And it must have taken like 30 minutes before I came back with the mission accomplished.

But it was cool. The girls were fun. How many of them? Yeah, I like the one that impressed zero. I always had girlfriends. the one that impresses me is the guy who would like cut his femoral artery with like a surfboard or something yes blood on the beach and you save that guy because i was the femoral arteries is like a death sentence wow that was barely a save he was in like

way steep water by the time i got to him and we like carried him out and uh the his pulse made like a rainbow of blood like with each heartbeat and uh no i just So there were medics on their way. So I just gave them a clean t-shirt and we applied pressure until the medics got there. It's a pretty fucking good story. Dude, my favorite story is not that dramatic, but it was a big guy. I'll call him 285 or something like fat, not strong. And he thought he stepped on a crab.

So instead of like pulling his foot away, he gets the bright idea like, I'm going to catch this crab and teach him what for. So he reaches down and he wants to like get the crab. It's not a crab. It's a fish hook with two hooks on it. And now he has hooked his thumb to his big toe in the surf. And he's fallen down. And even though it's only like three and a half feet of water, he can't breathe. He's at a pickle, right?

But he's not far. It's not like a hard scene. This is final destination shit. So I go out there and I like sort of pull them back. by the armpits and then we would the seat in the lifeguard stand doubled as like a backboard if he needed one or you could carry people with it so we just put it sort of put the seat under his ass and me and my partner carried him up and uh and now he's on the sand everything's safe his thumb and his toe are still connected by this uh bait thing you know like two fish hooks and um

i'm just sort of keeping him company and whatever anyway the medics put him in the back of like a a gator, like a golf cart with a pickup bed sort of thing. And they take them up the beach to the ambulance. And the medics are using these wire cutters to try to split it. And they couldn't get it. So they're like, Woody, can you help us out? And I was the guy that used the wire cutters and separated his toe from his fingers. Cut the fish on the pickle jar.

Yeah, I opened the pickle jar. It was like, dude, I love this shit. I loved it like victims. It was my favorite part of the job. Yeah, yeah. I've told it so many times, but the best one ever, it's the end of the day. And we spotted this guy as a customer. That's what we called people we thought might need rescuing.

He's, he's Asian, he's heavy, he's wearing a t-shirt and sunglasses, which is not something a waterman would ever do. So we're like, oh, this guy, he's got it coming. But he's not doing anything dramatic while we're watching. So at the very end of the day, we have to pull the boat and the lifeguard stand up so the tide can't catch it. And while we do that, we're a little bit distracted, if I'm honest. You know, you can't pull a lifeguard stands are so heavy. Like, you know, even Taylor would find it to be a lot of weight. So it has our full concentration.

We pull it back. And before we leave, we check the crowd and we wave goodbye. So everyone knows like they become unprotected. And he's drowning. He's out there drowning. And he's got like, he's got like one arm, I'm barely getting like a cartoon drowning almost. So I go straight out there.

I grab him. And when I get there, he's underwater, right? I have to dive down. I pull him up. And I would always give the same like speech. I'm like, all right, hold this with your hands, kick with your feet, help me a little. I'm going to pull you in. This guy, he wasn't hearing speeches.

Even his English wasn't that good. And he held the flotation device, like the Baywatch can thing, the red thing, if anyone can picture it while laying on his back looking at the sky that's all you had to offer me he just said like that on his back looking up breathing between splashes into his face and uh and i hauled him in and that was like the end of that story until the next day the next day he brings his wife and his kids and they came and they all thank me for saving the dad they bow they didn't bow but like oh shit it was there they brought him a sacrificial cat brought you dinner.

They vied bowing and they thanked me one by one, like one at a time. And I'm not good at receiving compliments. And I'm just like, it was nothing. It's cool. It was my pleasure. Thank you so much. But like it's that was fucking 35, 40 years ago, something like that. And less than that 35, 30 years ago.

And it was like, shit that I've lived a cool life. that's one of the coolest things I've ever done. You know, we work for tips. Clearly not from a bowing culture. Are you some of the tipping culture? I don't know if you've heard about American culture, but it's tradition in our country to tip people who save your life $50.

I did beg for tips when I rented out the umbrellas. The irony. I would earn like $7 in tips a day or something, but not me. I was pulling in like $100 a day because after I want, I make a big show out of like wiping the sand off the chairs and then I wouldn't leave.

And they'd be like, thank you. And I'm like, usually we tip here. I'm just imagining the scenario of somebody rinse an umbrella from you and they're being very rude and they don't tip you and they're like, fuck you. They set up their umbrella and they're drowning in the ocean. You as a

lifeguard go and save them. You work on commission, right? Big mistake. Huge mistake. But there's a good times. Beach jobs are good. Yeah, it's making me pretzels.

Wait, really? Here's two? You're not mocking. Are you getting soft pretzels? No, I wish. I'm happily divorced. I get soft pretzels after every PKK. Been there, brother.

Well, that's the show. All right. Sponsors down below. Links to Trout and Cecil as well. We've enjoyed it thoroughly. PKK 809.