Painkiller Already - PKA 811 W/ Goblin: Pulled Over While Riding Dirty

Episode Date: July 4, 2026

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P-K-A-8-11, our guest goblin, Kyle. Just one sponsor, tonight. Audible. Wonderful, audible returning to us, and of course, lock and load down below the patron, Spotify, and our wonderful merch store.

Check out all that stuff down in the links below. But yeah, P-K-A, what is this? 811? All right, let's go. So Taylor, people don't know. Taylor had some sort of household calamity that he can't talk about yet.

And I'm just checking in. Still can't talk about it, right? Still can't talk about it. That's why I missed PKK, and I had people concerned about it tweeting me. Not really concerned. They're like, you got to make up for that. So a different kind of concern. But yeah, it remains to be seen how it's going to unfold.

I'm hoping sooner than later. I was hoping to be back in my house before this weekend. But with the holiday weekend, it doesn't, well, not just doesn't seem likely. it's not going to happen. And so I'm in this fucking hotel room for a few more days. My wife and I are not being in a hotel when you're not on vacation, it sucks. Make it a vacation, silly? In St. Louis?

You could have gone anywhere. I did a Raleigh one. You'd be like, honey, I was talking to Woody. We are no longer staying in a hotel. We're having a sexcation. Bend over. Okay. Trust me, this shit works.

This is this old school. marriage advice, okay. Well, I trust you. Yeah, yes. Twice your marriage experience. Ooh, duchet. All right, I stand corrected. Yeah, so Taylor can't talk about it.

I absolutely hammered him in the PKK hangout. And the one thing I got was that he will someday be able to talk about it. So we look forward to that. Yeah, I regret that it's not going to be more interesting. Actually, maybe I could share some of the pictures at some point because it's like four million bees. It's a calamity. Yeah. Yeah. So the police release the crime scene photos?

You know, yet to be determined. Okay. They can't prove I did that. Can't foretell did he put on his jacket beforehand? I'd love to see Christy Noem in front of your house like making an example out of this disaster. On horseback for some reason. Killing my neighbor's dog? Or wait, was that a different lady? No, she kills dogs too. Yeah, yeah, she's got talents. Some dogs need killing, though.

Let's Spitz be real here. I don't even know what kind of dog she shot. Could have been a pit bull. That's true. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it could have been a pit bull. I was thinking something else. Gobble.

Could we do like a... Oh, pardon. Thank you. I was wondering, could we do like a hot and cold on what your house issue is, or... I've been advised not to talk about it. Oh, there is very. Oh, you've been advised.

All right. Yeah. All right. I was even going to use that phrase. Don't act like you talk to the lawyers. I told him, like, quiet. It's embarrassing. I just didn't want to hear WhatsApp messages really seriously.

I'll respect to the advisory then. Yeah, between my 9-11 memes and my workout advice, it's that quiet. Nobody needs to know about me. I like the idea that a big truck full of like 8 million bees overturned in front of his house and the queen made her way into his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, he's home and they all followed her in. And like now his home is essentially a beehive that it's protected. That would be more interesting.

It's probably not covered by homeowners insurance now. Oh, no, your house turning into a beehive is not covered by state form. They don't help you at all with that. Oh, shit. Jake is nooping the fuck out on that one. Well, I can't wait for the details, Taylor. Oh. I don't care.

Yeah, I'll ask it. correctly. Do you have an estimated timeline on when you can tell the story? Or you could just say no. Not yet, no. The depositions aren't for weeks, so it's a minute. I pressed him as hard as I could in the hangout, but there's only like 20 people there. There's a lot more here. So I'll ask this question.

This might be more fun. Taylor, is it okay if we guess at it? And in the end, we see which one of us is closer to the real answer? Is that okay? Oh yeah. Oh, I see. Okay. So let me go first if I make sense.

This is my idea. I'm not responsible for your guesses. Initially, my thought was that a car had struck his home. Like a drunk driver had driven through his fence and hit the front of his home because that matched everything that all the signs that he was given off. The idea that, oh, we need to wait. We can't talk about this yet. Someone's at fault clearly when that's what's going on. And also it's driven me out of my home.

for an unknown amount of time, and I have to supervise these repairs. I had these clues to work on. So I was like, car hit his house, I bet. I bet a car hit his house. But now, now I'm thinking that one of his former contractors did an oopsie. And so that means that he's had his fifth flood or smoke damage from a small fire. And I just think that fires are so rare, honestly, with modern appliances and electrical stuff. I think it's another flood.

I think it's another flood. I don't know if that's too vague, but I think it's another flood. My guess would be that there's been a big flood, though, because this has driven him from the home. Ooh, wait a minute. Well, you can't just go all over the board and pick everything. Okay, okay.

Well, I was going to renege, you know? I was going to go back and say, okay, I'm sticking with flood. I'll stick with flood. I think I also think it's contractor-related, and I think it's load-bearing-related. I think that something, like maybe Taylor observed, to shift or something like that and now they're jacking things up and hiring an engineer to

see what it would take to make it good again. I enjoy your theories. Okay. I see who's right. Wait, before I chuck one out too, I feel like I have to ask a couple preliminary questions. You don't get one. Oh, shit.

He gets one. He gets one. Okay. All right. Okay. Is this like a new house? Like, have you lived here a while or how long have you had this home? I've lived here for eight years.

Okay. All right. Not new. Okay. That was my only question. So, all right. I noticed a little chuckle out of you when Kyle was talking about floods. So like I do, I like the water theory. But like I would have said something plumbing related, but that's already taken. So I'm going to go with like, you know, you had some sort of contractor doing some sort of chemical test and maybe your basement was like a meth lab or something, you know? You got some residue in there that you've just discovered. You know, and it's like a bad yes. Who do we point the finger at with that? You know, lawyer saying, don't talk about it. We'll point to the seller eight years ago, you know. I don't know. I would get off on all meth charges. I'm fat as hell.

Like, yeah. What makes it hard as he says his... That's what a meth head would say. He says his neighbors aren't in fault. He said who isn't it fault? Well, he said the neighbors aren't at fault. Because another one of my theories was that a neighbor's large tree fell over onto his property and or home. I cycle through that theory internally.

Yeah. Okay. I like the idea that his air conditioning unit has like exploded as well. You like that idea? Yeah. In terms of our chain value. Yeah, I like that idea. I like the idea that your air conditioning exploded.

I think that's a strong one too. I just don't know what would cause that. I just don't know. I didn't know AC systems could explode. Well, now I like my theory less, now that you seem befuddled by the entire concept. Is that anything that happens, or were you just making that up? I mean, I don't know.

Maybe I can't, you know, maybe I don't think AC does. Yeah, yeah. But like, the heating stuff involves flammable stuff. But now you see. Well, yeah, not a good time for heating. You may have natural gas heat or something like that that can go, Kaboom. Oh, yeah.

Well, I look forward to finding out. I don't think it's going to be as interesting as people. I can't wait, though. I can't wait. I look forward to the play-by-play on the conversations. Usually the human interactions around like, hey, I find the roof collapsing in to be unacceptable. Unacceptable would be the most polite way to put a roof collapsing in. Yeah, yeah.

You've used that term. I think that's the term that you often go to, like when someone overbills or whatever. Yeah. So I look forward to that. You're right. Been a stressful few days. Not being able to sleep in your own bed sucks. The hotel bed's not that bad.

But they don't have any, well, I haven't logged into any of the streaming services. And it's just a reminder of how terrible TV is. Awful. I did bring my Game Boy, so I've been playing some Pokemon at night. There you go. Oh, that's gay. Yeah, you're having a good time. What year is it?

You guys are the ones who don't get it. Goblin gets it. No, I get it. Yeah, I have a Game Boy still. You got your Sega Saturn with you? I'm not feeling corrected. That's all right. The comments will show.

The comments will show. You know, Game Boys Rock. I have a... Actually, no, this is a Switch. I'm playing one of the newer ones. Oh, my wife plays the Switch. All right, all right, yeah. No, I could ask her her game.

It was something my daughter recommended to her. Oh. Well, that's the only game I play on Nintendo. Oh, did you guys hear like this like kerfuffle about physical media with Sony and Xbox? Like they're thinking about getting rid of discs in the entire physical media. Yeah, Sony confirmed it. I don't think Xbox is though. I thought they might be close behind.

What do you think about that? Seems like a bad thing. I hate that. And not only that, the next Xbox isn't supposed to have a disc drive. And one of the one of my favorite things about my Xbox series X is it's a Blu-ray player. Like, I use it as a Blu-ray player on top of an Xbox, you know? So that's super late. Yep.

And it's all because of these AI data centers. It all goes back to that, making the component so expensive and making the consoles so expensive. You know, we've seen what the Steam Deck costs, you know, well over $1,000. We're seeing that with GTA, it's going to be locked at 30 frames per second on console. Yeah. Unless you get the PS, confirmed, unless you get the PlayStation 5.

Maybe 40 or something. Yeah. If you get the PlayStation 5 Pro, it'll do 60 frames, but it's not rendering all the pixels. And that doesn't account for, like, the massive city that it has to animate.

So that's bullshit and a half as well. It's pretty concerning. We're taking a step backwards. To add to that, I read one of the challenges with GTA is that, like it takes place on like land, sea, and air. And that means that you can't just like ignore as much of the universe as most games can. You know, I play rainbow.

There's nothing going on outside that room. But in GTA, there's freaking planes that matter to you and it needs to get it right all the time. Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. Data center related and not just like Sony looking for a quick way to, you know, reduce their cost. Well, they're trying to reduce the cost because RAM is so expensive. I saw an Asman gold clip where he's looking at what, I think it was a 6 terabyte SSD,

which is a big one anyway, maybe even an 8, but I thought it was a 6. How much do you think a 6 terabyte SSD costs? Oh, it's like 1,500 bucks. It's like 1,500 bucks. Yeah, it's, and it's not going to go down anytime soon. It'll probably get worse.

It'll probably worse next year. It is going to get worse, for sure. I recently had to buy another 4 terabyte SSD, because every time you film my podcast, we store it on like a hard drive. And our first 4 terabyte is up. And like a year and a half ago is when I bought it, it was like 200 bucks for a 4 terabyte SSD, Samsung like name brand. I went on Amazon the other day.

It's on sale for Prime Day for 900. That was like the like big deal, the doorbuster for $900 for $400 for a 4 terabyte. But I think with the with the Sony like Sony canceling physical games, I think another big reason that like not enough people are talking about. is like when you look at the discrepancy between the price of a digital game on like Sony's platform versus what you can go to GameStop and buy it for. Sony is still charging like if you go buy Black Ops 3 right now, they're charging 60 bucks for it still. It's been over a decade.

If you go to GameStop and buy it, it's like 20. That space is $70 or something like that. Exactly. They don't want you going to a secondhand store and paying that, you know, lowered price. They want you paying full price for everything. That's one of the reasons the steam machine appealed to me before I knew the price and before the like, it came. It came out.

I was excited about it, say, two months ago. Like, we were, we were like, going to buy it, waiting for it to come out, wait. And then once it came out, it was like, oh, my God, this thing is not what I hoped it would be. But my wife has paying, like, $80 for these Lego Batman games and stuff like that on console. And they're in the 20s and 30s on Steam. And I'm just super happy with the way that Steam has been organizing my games for decade or two now. I don't even know. It's just amazing.

So when Kyle's like, oh, they're getting rid of discs. I'm like, actually, I'll pay extra to put it on Steam, just so I have it for seemingly the rest of my life. Yep. That's how I like it. The licensing stuff is a huge issue, too. Who was it that just, I think maybe it was Sony again that took away all those titles that people had purchased because the licensing agreement was up with Paramount, I think. Terminator 2 was the one that got all the shine. They were like, all these people bought these movies, bought, quote, unquote,

And now they're like, yeah, we technically don't to own the thing we sold you anymore. So you needed to you. And they're just taking it away. That's upsetting too. Yeah. I think Steve needs to sell movies. Right? Listen, I put too much faith in them probably.

But they keep earning it. Now, as a consumer, they keep earning it. If I made a video game and Steam got like 30% of my profit, Steve got 30% of Grand Theft Auto, they spent a, Billion dollars making it and Steam like has the download place. It just seems wild that they get as much as they do. But as a customer who doesn't care who makes money, it's great for me. Yeah.

I mean, do you think. Do you think they ever like work out different percentage deals with those really huge releases like GTA? I don't know. I don't know. I know Apple doesn't. Like, you know, when you buy, does Fortnite run on a phone? but like some of those games that are expensive and on the phone Apple still wants their giant cut. Yeah.

Yeah, that was a huge dispute. I remember there was a huge legal battle between Epic and Apple because Apple was like jacking up the price of eBucks and they did not. They did not like that. Yeah. Kyle mentioned Asmond Gold. I watched within the last week, I watched a house tour of his. Oh, right. like was leading people through his house and it it stressed me out really amount of nonsense that

was in his house like having to turn sideways to go down a hallway like there was one hallway that had like a 60 inch TV and he's like an ex-girlfriend left this here don't know what to do with it and it's like we'll get it out of the fucking hallway like this is a ridiculous thing to have here and the they asked him like so show us where you nest and then he like got on a a couch and the whole this guy's worth like 20 million dollars and he's like this couch here side of the road free

this is this is insane and he's like showing how he just pulls hundreds of blankets onto himself to nest in his game sphere it it was not wrong with any of that nothing wrong with any of that

you know if you have okay I just saw him recently he was like he's like you know I got people that spray my house for bugs now I haven't seen a roach in here in six months. Good for him. He's a funny guy and he's entertaining. Oh, it's tremendous. I love him. He's about to get the hair transplant,

I think. He's been talking about that. I think he's going to, yeah. He's got a rough hair line. Yeah, that was exactly the video I watched. Are you showing how he nests? That's too many blankies. Who I think is also a big streamer, but I don't know. I also like to get a few blankies on the couch.

They were making fun of me the other day. I got a cat. They were like, do you have a couch blanket? Like, yeah. I've had a since I was 13 I've had a couch blanket I like Who doesn't have a blanket for their couch? Yeah

That's a weird thing to bully you over Yeah Well they got you know What else are they going to do? You know Oh He was like Maybe they have 32 teeth

And want to flex on you 32's way too many In the future All people will have 16 like me Ooh There was a There was a part of the where they were like, oh, so you didn't really clean up, like, before we came.

And he's like, that's not true. I picked up the dead rats. Like a rat dying because your house is so dirty. General contractor for life. Like, you know, if you get in your kitchen done, you don't want to hire the electrician and the plumber, the cabinet guy and stuff and manage all that yourself. It's tricky and you don't know who's good. So you hire a general contractor who's used to dealing with the subs.

He needs someone to just straighten. his shit out. Make his doctor's appointments. Hire his physical trainer. Clean. Get his house cleaned. Just someone whose life isn't a tragedy. All that guy can do is make money. Yeah, he needs a personal assistant. He needs somebody taking care of

the rest of the stuff. He was, I saw a clip of him. His teeth were real bad. He got those fixed. And he did something else. Maybe he got a little bit healthier. But he's talking about getting the hair down now. That'll be interesting to see. Those why is it that turkey is the place to go for that?

Like how did they become the world's leader in hair restoration surgery? Right? So I don't know if I'm right, but the vibe was always they were like a discount option. And I think just through time and experience and stuff, now they are the like low price, high quality option. If you have this done in Raleigh where I live, I bet it's not as good as this guy in Turkey who does it all the time for everyone. When I watch videos of it, I'm like, ooh. Yep. Ooh, that looks disgusting.

It looks like he's putting maggots in his head. So it looks bad at first, and then it looks good, and then we'll see. You know, like Joe Rogan had a hair trans. Joe Rogan got his hair done. Well, he had a completely different situation than the modern one. So they did the thing where they take the big chunk out of the back of your head. And then they literally remove a, uh, uh, uh, horizontal rectangle of flesh.

And then they have that on the table pulling the follicles out and transplanting them somewhere else. The modern one, they take the individual follicles from the donut site. And then they move those forward without doing all that. So they've got like this little petri dish or whatever serving tray full of

hair follicles and they're just like, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, like plugging them into the holes they've created. His takeaway though, is like your crops are dying. So then you get new plants and put them in a in a field that can't support life. And that's still true of the current one,

unless you maintain a regimen of fanasteride. Is that what it is? You can do finasteride, do testeride, and then supplement with monoxidil. You can do oral monoxide now. Some people don't tolerate it well, but usually it's topical. I think some people have this hope that, you know, they've got hair in the front of their head again and it's going to be great.

No, you have hair in the front of your head again, and it's only going to be great if you maintain a lifetime of these drugs. Yeah. Is it like a Zemik in that like as soon as you stop it, it goes back to like your appetite So like hair replacement therapy and then you'll just start balding again. Well, not just like that though. Like the balding doesn't happen in the natural patterns that we've observed in men forever. Like you could have hair in front and then bald behind it before it eventually goes full dead.

And it balds in really unattracted patterns. unless you take your drugs they're incredibly affordable it's like finasterite is so cheap it's like nothing and it works and it's like 2% of people that have those side effects they have like sexual side effects where they can't orgasm or something like that or they don't come as hard

it's like oh god you're gonna be fine like don't worry about that those are terrible side effects you can't horrible Kyle's like don't come as hard and goblin gives us a oh god Goblin doesn't have this problem You know, I mean, coming at all.

You got no fucking hair, balie. He's just spontaneously. I mean, I'm just imagining the show. I'm just imagining, you know, being horny and ready to go. And like, you're still feeling all the sexual energy. You just can't finish. You know, I mean, that sounds like my worst nightmare. I don't know.

That'd be horrible. You can take that's pretty horrible. You're just pulling rope. Just get a rhino pill at the Circle K. Yeah, I wonder what this symptom is. Is it that you don't get as hard and have a hard time coming or you just like, you can't come unless you pound away for 90 minutes. Like what is it specific?

That's what the SSRIs do. Oh, desensitized. Those can do those to people. Yeah. SSRIs have a lot of troubling side effects. But that's a topic. Yeah, it's like 2% of men. I looked it up.

I thought so. It's if an asteroid affects the prostate, it frequently results in a noticeable decrease in overall semen volume. Uh-oh. And some men also We got a cure. Difficulty achieving orgasm or weak ejaculation.

So look, you take your finasteride or dexterite, little monoxide on top, and then you take yourself some lock and load, and you're back in the game again. You weren't going to be getting any comies with that bald-ass ed anyway. Did you see Jorge Mazvedal's hair transplant surgery? I didn't. They say it takes like six or eight months to like be what it's going to be. You know, it takes a while to like settle.

it it it was it doesn't look great it didn't look great at first i was like yeah because he like he had like like the horseshoe thing going on i think it's called like it's going back in the corners real deep and he would often have there you go tremendous nice sack look how much they added i don't like the way they did it that doesn't look like yeah like what taylor said that hairline doesn't look like a natural hairline if you wear your hair in a tight bun like that, it can exasperate the balding. I watched a woman get a hair transplant

because she liked to wear her hair in a tight bun. It gave her like a little bit of a facelift. It pulled it back just slightly and she felt like it removed a few years. And then she had to get a hair transplant because she pulled her hair out. Zach, find the after. There you go. There you go.

He looks like a different race now. It looks like he had a more human to her. going to he became armenian yeah yeah or maybe a little greek or something like like yeah he went from like a cuban daddy to like a greek peasant i still feel like they should have drawn in sums like something other than a straight line that that's like a bowl cut of like you know like he just put the the salad bowl on his head and drew where his hairline ought to be my theory is that like well that that's a bad theory i was going to say that like over time

he'd lose a little bit of what he has and then it would look natural but you just wouldn't plant those crops there if that was the idea I just there should be a little bit of a widow's peak or something going on it just shouldn't be that like he's got black people hairline yeah

when they get it's straightened down squared up square up yeah Turk squared him up somebody over there was a Ben Ascran fan or something they fucked him over my friend special deal today only if you started balding which doesn't seem like that's in the cards for you

but would you bald gracefully or would you Oh man Full replacement You know when it comes to bald this I feel like you got a all or nothing It like I'm either if I start balding I'm going full balled I'm riding it I mean I would maybe entertain it

But I don't know I think A lot of guys like when they start balding They don't look bad because they're bald They look bad because you can almost tell they don't want to be bald. Like they don't accept it, you know? You got to rock that shit. I've seen these clips on YouTube sometimes. It's like from a barber.

And he's fixing like trouble cases. People who are disgustingly bald. They look like the scary clown from a movie or something like that. And the guys just like, I don't know. Just do something. Anything. And like the guy does like some Donald Trump origami to this guy's hair. And by the end, you're like, man, that looks great.

As long as you come to this guy every fucking day and let him fold you up and creep through like this, you'll never duplicate this rap job he's done at home. And it looks fragile. He's one tussle away from being a freak. Like, that is not the answer. The ball cap works pretty good, I guess. Like, you can just be a hat guy now. Are we talking about Trump right now? Anybody.

Anybody's balding. Although Trump looks good to cap. do him. Yeah, yeah, Cap helps him. His hair looks weird, but we've gone like used to it, but when the wind blows it in the wrong way, it exposes it as extra weird. It's longer than you think it is because it's very lengthy. Yeah, like comes from here and swirls around like a top hat or something. From the back and coming way forward, like a big like palm width size like tough is coming all the way forward and then doing a doo-wop around the side. It's pretty nuts, though.

And we've just learned to accept it because it's like the 17th weirdest thing about him. Didn't Jimmy Fallon like tussle his hair in 2016? And he looked less bald than I thought he would look after that. And he gave that like Trump smirk of like not as bald as you thought, huh? It's like, well, we're still not, you know, winning any awards here. Fuck Jimmy Fallon, though. Jimmy Fallon is the worst of them. I didn't even like him on Saturday Night Live.

He's never been good at his job at any job I've ever seen him do. I hate him. Never watched this show. Oh, he's garbage. He's got the, he fake laughs at everything. Like, he's so apolitical. He tries to just beat a fence rider all the time,

which is kind of something you would like in a late night host. But what I want is you to go after everybody, South Park style. I want you to be shitting on Christian conservatives as well as Muslims. I want you attacking the right and the left going after like crazy trans stuff as well as like crazy redneck gun stuff i want you going

all hitting everybody i don't want you to be in some milk toast goofy fake laughing twink boy who is 50 something years old now and acts like he's 12 and he would he would break in every saturday live sketch and like when people break it's like it's supposed to only happen maybe once every other show when you're supposed to Somebody tickled you. Like Chris Farley just like went off script and started ad living and you can't hold it together. Or like Will Ferrell is just, this take, Will Ferrell has his fat belly out in your face and he's staring at you like a maniac and you didn't see that coming and it's cracking you up. Jimmy Fallon just refused, just laughs.

He's just stealing the show or like making it about him instead of the skits. This is 20 years ago, 30 years ago shit that I don't like. But I just don't like Jimmy Fallon. Fuck him. I have no opinion of Jimmy Fallon. I've never spent a second watching. I'm kind of with Kyle, but a little less passion. The fake laughing rubs me the wrong way.

Look, you can do a little giggle when someone tries to be a courtesy, something. But he is like belly laughing, cracking up, unable to hold it together over every non-fony thing ever said. Like, slapping the desk and stuff. Like, let it fucking go. That's your joke. You're fake. You're fake, you're fake. And I don't like it.

Who are the other ones? I hated Linneau as a person and as a like a, the way he ran his business. But I always preferred him over Letterman when it came to like the monologues and just he seemed like he seemed like a fun jockey kind of guy. Letterman always seemed to mean. He had this hard edge to him that was like a little bit like he seemed to loof or he seemed better than the people he was talking about. And that gap in his teeth? I like that. I like that.

Not good. I don't watch any of those old school late night TV shows. Like I've never seen Letterman. I've never seen Leno. Never. I've seen clips of, this was many years, probably over a decade ago now,

but I've seen clips of Conan before. And of my limited knowledge, he seems like the coolest of those guys. He is. Absolutely is. Was Taylor raised with no screen time as a child? Is that why he spells so well? What happened to you?

Tom children, time to read Dickens. It's 9.m. None of those are good. Jimmy, who's the other Jimmy? Kimmel. Kimmel. I've seen clips of him from the Man Show, but I bet that was 15 years ago now. Oh, you didn't watch it back in the day?

Not really, no. It was on Comedy Central. It was him and Adam Carolla. It was very edgy cable TV, and it had some funny-ass bits. And when the show would come on, he'd have the job. Juggets. I think that's what they were called, which was just his big titty bikini girls, jump on a trampoline while like the credits rolled and stuff. Like, I remember, you know, like the opening song in front of every sitcom and stuff. Yeah, he had just women jumping on

trampoline. He did blackface on there dressed as Carl Malone, like full black face. Um, had the hair too. He did black body too. Whole body. Yeah. My favorite bit was, it was like a, it was almost like a Saturday Night Live skit where they had a I think the idea was they had a new product to get rid of dog shit in your yard and you're like oh well what could this be interesting it's a firecracker and he puts the firecracker in some shit like on the table

and he's like it's as easy as one two three and he like slowly moves the lighter closer and closer and the instant the lighter touches the fuse it explodes like as soon as he touches the fuse it is boom and just spray shit all over him. It's not shit, but and to my like, 14, 13 year old mind, I was like,

that's the height of comedy. Nothing tops that. That's the best. I still crack up thinking about that. That was the man show. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good bit. I saw them convince a woman to show her boobs, but they're in a bra.

And she's like, no, no, no, I don't want to. You're filming like, this doesn't look good. And they're like, just do it really fast. And that's how they talked her into it. So she gives one of these, right? But they slowed it down. So slow. It looked like this.

I'm like, you dumb bitch. All I've seen of Jimmy Kimmel in like the last 10 years is like stills and then maybe part of a clip where he's like, I don't even know what it was over. But he was like openly weeping in like the beginning of the. show, which I don't know about late night, but that's usually when you're trying to amp up the audience, bring some laughs. And he was like crying. I think it was Trump removing like health care benefits from children at the same time his kid was facing like cardiac disease of some sort, like a life-threatening surgery he needed. And of course, his kid's fine because he's Jimmy Kimmel's kid. But he felt for the people that wouldn't get the health.

care for their babies because of Trump's policies. That's what it was. Do an impression or something, man. Like, have a lot. He doesn't do that. No. No. I think of those late night guys is they should bring some levy to something. They should be like weekend update with Norm, but a little lighter. Go a little less on the OJ jokes. Like you should be poking fun at everything and what's in the news. Go out on the streets, interview the stupid people. Like, it should be a little, Conan was great. Conan was always very light and very, very silly. His silliness meter was way higher than anybody else's.

It would get goofy. He'd do these stupid dances. Who's that Irish guy? Conan O'Brien. Isn't that what I said? That's what I meant if I didn't. Irish English accent. He was a late night guy.

Oh, yes. Yes. Scottish, I think. Yeah. He did a thing on Britney Spears that was really good. So Craig Ferguson was an alcoholic. And everyone was making fun of Britney Spears. But he didn't.

Instead, he told his own personal journey with alcoholism. And it was heavy. And he is a professional communicator who just rolled this out. He shared some of his most embarrassing stories, like waking up in the sewage next to a curb and stuff like that. And he's like, it's, you know, everyone laughed. And he said it funny. He's like, it's funny, but it's embarrassing. When it's you, it's embarrassing.

To be blackout drunk and be missing memories that everyone else has of you is embarrassing. And the line that hit me is he's like, you know, the fix for it is simple but hard. And it's really easy to find. It's at the front of the phone book, right? And he's talking about Alcoholics Anonymous. And it just hit hard because he was watching Britney Spears kind of crash out and do weird shit and shave her head and such. And I was like, this guy is doing a public good with this comedy show. and I respected it.

I like crazy, Brittany. I mean, I never thought less of her for going crazy. Like, the way she was treated was outrageous. You go back and look at some of those articles about, like, calling her fat in, like, early 2000s. Like, they're calling her fat in, like, 2006 or something. And you look at the picture of her, and you're like, dude, what are you talking about? That is not a fat woman. Like, oh, she's 127 pounds instead of 120 now.

Like, she's gorgeous. She's smoking. hot. She's got a great, great body. And she's a pop star. And they're just shitting all over and driving her crazy. Paparazzi constantly falling her around. I always felt bad for her. And like modern Britney. She's a student of the blade.

She's a student of the blade. Modern Brittany obviously has uploaded a lot of kooky, like shorts or TikToks or whatever where she's dancing with knives and like flashing her kuder and stuff. It's concerning. And then you heard the other day probably she had a melt down at a restaurant, threatened somebody with steak knife.

I saw that. Yeah, as I said, a student. I feel like they, like, lobotomized her or something, dude. That she's just, those new real she posts are different. Like, there's something in her eyes, dude. It's the SSRI stay or something. Yeah, she's got, she's out of it. She's bad, dude.

Because I remember, I think when she got out of her conservatorship, yeah, Kyle and I said on the show, this is years ago, like, oh, let her do her thing. And what he was like, I don't know about. that and then like within three days she's like spinning knives like acting like a lunatic and I'm like I think Woody might have hit this one on the head actually I didn't mind it I didn't think the knives were that crazy like she's just having fun you know like like you're having fun you've never done a knife dance in the kitchen like like when she does one she uploads it and like the whole world talks about

she probably thinks it's kooky what bothers me is that and this always I used to have a 12 inch dick until the naked knife dances in the kitchen. It always bothers me with somebody who's worth, you know, tens and tens or hundreds of millions of dollars, has like dog shit, literally on the floor in the background of their like videos and stuff.

It's like, whoa, we don't have anybody to pick that up. Like, I'll be your guy. I got a whole bunch of firecrackers. I'll be there in a minute. Like, look at that shit cleaned up for you. Did she have dog poo behind her? Oh, yeah.

If some of those, like, not the knife video but one of the others like i i watch them all i go to her subreddit where they slow down her dances like it's man show when so show a little ariola pop out and uh i uh and and they're like the knife dance doesn't bother me so much as the dog feces on the ground in the background what's going on over there she's trying to relate to the viewer right you mentioned brittney got fat i have watched the standards for obesity go up like what's normal throughout my lifetime. When I was a kid,

I had Zach to find it. Zach, can you pull up this picture of chunk? This was the height of obesity. They were laughing. He did this belly dance in this movie, Goonies, where his belly would like slightly jiggle. Is this kid even like, I mean,

he's not skinny, but that's a porker. The truffle shuffle. If that was my kid, I'd be like, we got a problem, honey, like,

um, I bet in, how old is he 12? I bet, well, what is that? Seventh grade, must be filled with kids just like him right now.

But I wonder if our standards for obesity will drop again with drugs like OZempic becoming popular. I hope so. Everybody should be skinny or jacked. It's one or the other.

You can't be looking like that. What's that kid called? Jelly Roll? What's that kid's name? Chunk. Chunk. That jelly roll's better. Yeah.

I hope we get the kids on some OZempe. They need to chill. We need to do something about that. I wish I could remember the exact numbers, but they were talking about how much sugar the averaging American ate a year in like the early 1900s. It's like half a pound. Sugar was probably expensive. Who knows? If you're a kid, that boy does not need to be on Oz epic right now. He is hitting a growth

spurt in like a year. Like that kid will stretch out. Circle back to me when he's 20. This is not the time. He'll make a fine line. He eats 180 pounds, 180 pounds of sugar a year. I'm due for a growth spurt then. A mid-30s lengthening. You know what? Humans would be better if we got a second try. Right, right around 40, put on four more inches. Stretch yourself out a bit, be skinny again, and be nice.

That would be sick. I don't want to grow anymore. It's a shame that the only way to get taller surgically is that horrible break your leg surgery where you're like in traction for months, like living in hell. I bet all the flesh also has to restretch. like in your your calf area and at the end of I'd be worrying about getting strength back if I were going to do it I would also have my like my forearms broken to length because otherwise you look like a fucking goober because you have five foot eight arms and like six foot one legs

you'd look ridiculous demon on the basketball court with those legs and that wingspan yeah true dude the sixers just got the second best player from the Celtics and my life little world is just going bonkers over it. They're very excited. And I'm loving the Sixers subreddit because it's filled with people taking back all the horrible things that they've said about him. Like, you know what? It's a completely normal thing to paint on a hairline.

I take it back. I'm sorry. I ever made fun of it. There's a play where he like, his head hit the opponent's jersey and it left a black mark of fake hair and dye on it. and he's like, that's the mark of a finals MVP. That's the mark of greatness. You're lucky you got it.

All right. I like this guy. Go Sixers. Damn. To like be preparing for your professional athlete job and be like, hold on. Dude. I saw pictures of him at the start of the game and the end of the game and just how much it's thinned out as he's sweating and stuff. It's not a good thing.

Apparently he called LeBron for advice. he go full Giuliani? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not tuned into the different hair thickening stuff, but some people said he had are they called follicles when they put little micro hairs in there to like make it better? Look at that pre-game and fourth quarter.

What are we doing? Fourth quarter looks pretty good. So this is some black people shit. It's like an oil slick on the wall. Yeah, they've literally slattered his head with glue and then put some like, like a mat on top and then they've like brushed it into the glue to make it look right and then used a strike razor to like get the edges like like this is this isn't planted this is he's got

some shit glued onto his fucking head remember when lebron shit popped off yeah he wore a uh sweatband and it pushed his hair line up an inch or so and uh i can't know which player it was it wasn't anthony davis thank you but he's just like you'll you can read his lips your hair you're fucking hair, feral. I feel like six, eight, just be bald. Your hair. Yeah, that's what Jordan did.

I wonder what Jordan's hairline was like. I've made up this history, so it's probably wrong. But I think he just didn't want to be bothered by hair. That's what Messier did. I don't think Messier lost his hair. Mark Messier, Taylor, help me up. He shaved his head, and I think he just didn't want to, like, he had a focus outside hair.

You don't think it was the steroids Jordan was using? there's no evidence of that I don't know what there's no there's not you don't think where would Jordan get steroids in the 90s as the fourth-grade athlete?

Where would he acquire them? They're all those guys got tested once a year back in the 90s they got tested once like it was like October 1st so October 2nd and for the rest of the year

they knew the day it was like hey everybody be clean on the first all those guys were bald jacked and played all 82 games with no physical trainer. Goblin, I know you're like the like drug expert.

Do you ever dabble in research of like the performance enhancing drugs or just the having a good time drugs? Not necessarily. You know, if you couldn't tell I don't do much performance enhancing. But, um, you know, I lately especially I've been getting a lot of messages from viewers being like,

hey, can you talk about steroids? Like you talk about trend like all this shit. So it's definitely in right now. Um, but, I just don't know much about it personally. Oh, I love that content.

Derek for more plates, more dates is the expert on YouTube. He's the guy I would go to. My buddy just has gotten on testosterone. So today I was going through with him like workout plans and diet plans and stuff. We're going to get him turned into a Lebanese Superman. I'm looking forward to it. Do you have him starting slowly or just fucking, dude? What is a declining set with the delts called?

Of the super set? I thought a super set was like when you linked two exercises together that hit the same thing. This is like when you do flies with 30 pounds until you can't and then 25 pounds until you can't all the way down until you can burn your arms. That's what I'd fucking do. That's the move right there if you want big delus. Burn the fuck out. Hit every muscle fiber every bit of it. Yeah.

I forget the name of that. Maybe it is super set. In any case, do you have them doing that off the rip or you start them slower? I gave him my exact like workout plan. I just took the email that Derek sent me like 2002 and sent it gave it to him

and it comes with like how many reps of every exercise, your PPL A and B, your and then it's got video links for like every exercise for form. And then I sent him my vertical diet that's dialed into like 2,500 calories a day or something like that

and then told him to do what he wanted but that. I'm not more of a horizontal diet. Yeah. I haven't been hitting the gym hard enough. But I hit it today, so conscience is clear. Nice. Good for you. I'm looking forward to all y'all getting on the steroids, man.

That's the shit. That's the move. I'm worried about my fertility. Yeah. I'll wait until like mid-40s. I'll get retarded with it. You should wait and you should get your testosterone checked. Like it might, his, our boys.

he's like mid-20s or something like fish is like 25 and his testosterone was like 250 225 like I don't know what regular is well who's to say what regular is but you want to be a thousand you'll be a fucking thousand but if you wake up hard every day you're probably fine wake up hard no no you're not fine if you wake up hard that's not no that's not the test I don't even know if that is an indicator or not. But I do know the answer Taylor's question. I saw a Jeff Nippard. Is that his name?

How close did I call? Yeah. The Boston guy. Yeah. He tested a bunch of content creators in his space that were natural and they were getting like 400 to 475. Okay. Yeah. Olympic athletes, I think the average is like 500 or something like that. Do you remember this is like a meme

from probably the better part of a decade ago? but BuzzFeed had like four guys who like their whole shtick was trying things and like sushi or food or whatever. And they're like these four like kind of feminine effect. Is it the try guys? Yeah, try guys. I was going to say try guys. Exactly the kind of people you would, guys you'd expect to work at BuzzFeed. And they all got their tea checked.

And it was like in the one hundreds. It was like like worse than an 85 year old man. And it was like, oh, okay. You can feel fine on that. You can feel fine at like 100 or 200 tests if your estrogen is in the right ratio and everything. But again, like get that shit to a thousand, at least. Maybe 2,600. Who's to say?

All right? Get that thing up there where it needs to be. Where it needs to be. No human has ever measured these number, these four digit numbers without steroids. I got higher testosterone numbers than Alexander the Great. I ain't air and fucking tea it. Like Leonidas at the, at the hot gates, staring down a million Persians?

What? 400, 500 tests? Get out of here. He'd look at Tinder Kyle and be like, grab a shield, dude, we need you. Yeah, but what have you conquered? What? What have you conquered?

Hundreds of women. Hundreds of conquered everything. I've tried to conquer. You know, big and jacked and so goddamn strong and dense and fucking grisly. Get grisly, Taylor. Get grisly.

Crissly, you want to be a hard chew. Somebody ate you? You want them to be breaking teeth off. Does it make me burn more calories? Like, can I eat more? It does. Carrying more muscle? Yeah, it absolutely makes you,

it increases your metabolism. Oh, I didn't. Yeah, but very little. Oh, it's the muscle that does it. I love those extra hundred calories a day with no consequence. That'd be awesome. Yeah, I don't know anything's going to do that other than like some greenies.

You get some ephedron and some caffeine. Greenies? that like the toothbrush shape thing you give dogs? No, it's like the, uh, it's the stimulant the baseball players used to use. Greenies? I wasn't aware. I've never heard of that. Oh, I wanted to ask you, Goblin, that, uh, last time of you're on, you were, you briefly

mentioned it, but I always see you going hard against that 7-0 drug online. Is that increasing in popularity or if most people figured out, like, I only know what you've told me that it's like devastating. I think it's definitely increasing in popularity. but like in a different way than it was before because now people understand it. You know, there's been like news articles about it. Fox News ran a segment where they like quoted my video and shit.

There's like there's been a lot of like serious reporting about it. So I think people now just seek it out because they know they're like, oh, this is a percocet. I can buy it at the smoke shop, you know? So it's a different kind of thing. But at least people know what they're buying now. But I've seen at the state level, there's a lot of states banning it. And back in, I want to say it was like spring or like earlier this year, the FDA sent out a bunch of like warning letters to the manufacturers of all these pills being like, hey, like what you're doing right now is illegal.

None of this is, you know, you can't be selling this. But an FDA letter doesn't really mean anything. They're not actually going to enforce it for like three more years at least. So that's just how the FDA moves. But they did send out warning letters. And all of that is like the FDA, whenever they publish like whenever they send a letter to any of those kinds of. companies, they publish it on their website. And you can go on there and like read all the warning letters they sent.

And it's very strongly worded. So, okay. I wouldn't dip my toes in that for anything. That seems like such a mistake. Every time I've been to a smoke shop and seen that stuff and be like, hey, is that that 70H basically heroin shit you got on the shelf there? And like, sure is.

Want some? It comes in 10 million pill size. Like they're just selling buckets of it. And it's like, no. No, I don't want. No, that seems incredibly addictive. Now, give me my vapes. I need...

Just hypothetically, I have the memory of a goldfish. This is 70. It's an addictive drug they sell over the counter? Yeah. So they've made a, like an artificial version of an opiate, and then they sell it over the counter. The same way, it's kind of similar to the Delta 8 loophole. They kind of created their own thing. Like, this is mushrooms. Like, this is a mushroom babe.

But the 70H stuff is incredibly addictive because it's hitting the same receptors as opiates. The mushroom stuff is tricky to me because there's a lot of stuff sold as mushrooms that makes you assume it has like psychedelic properties. But it's fucking Shatakis or something like it's it's lions main. And a lot of the like smoke shop shroom products aren't that bad because a lot of them just use something called 4 ACO DMT. which is completely legal. It's a research chemical. And when you ingest it, it converts in your body to the same chemical

that psilocybin produces. So like whenever you're consuming a 4-ACO DMT product, they are tricking you. And it's like way cheaper to produce than psilocybin. So like these guys are all killing it. But it's not as bad as the other stuff on the smoke shop shelf. But right now the real, the trend that I've had viewers send me and I actually bought a couple boxes of

this stuff the other week is like a lot of these brands are now trying to market ketamine alternatives. So there was one called, I don't remember what it was. I'd have to pull up the receipt of what I bought. It was like K, like K mints. And it's a mint that comes in a box. It was four pills per box. And what it claims to have in it is like this root of a certain Chinese plant.

And it's like this Chinese traditional medicine that they've been using for thousands of years apparently. But like no one that I've spoken to actually believe. that's the only ingredient. But like, I have, one of my, I got the box of it and my podcast producer, he's like a total fiend for this kind of shit. He's like, dude, I'll take one right now.

And like, he was pretty lit in the chair while we were filming, you know? So it does something to you. But I don't like, I don't know what's in. Where do you get those? Where do you get those? What's it called? It's, it's called K-Mintz.

Yes. All right, I'm going to get some K-Mints. I'm down for that. Go for it. Yeah, let us know. Yeah. It'd be easier for the smoke shop. people to talk me into those things if all of them didn't look like the least reputable people

on earth yeah like the yeah their arms look like middle school desk it's just four as when gold's working there it's just four assing goals with a bunch of tattoos i don't even think he has those this drove the roach is right out of my house dude you don't even know yeah i'm not letting asmond gold make health claims for me or then you'll see like i remember going into before weed was legal in Missouri. I would go into the smoke shops and buy Delta 8. And I didn't know what Kratum was, but they had giant jars behind the counter. And it would be like, no, you know what? I don't think I'm going to take you up on your deal for Beijing butt fuck. Like that's not something I'm interested in. No thing. Tell me more.

It looks like, apparently it just makes a disgusting tea and then you drink this disgusting tea and it's like I guess a much weaker opiate than doing pills. So is ketamine addictive? I guess it is. Isn't that what Matthew Perry died from? Do I have the friends actors name right?

He was just a betty. Yeah, he died from ketamine. Oh, he died from drowning. But I think he was addicted to ketamine. Who's to say if he was addicted? But he'd had lifelong alcohol and addiction issues anyway. I think people who have that

to begin with give some decent drugs a bad name. It's like, man, dude, it's a guy who can't swim jumping in the pool and you blame the pool. You know what I mean? Like, don't outlaw pools because some moron who can't swim drowned,

okay? Like, the rest of us should be able to be able to enjoy our ketamine, our cat tranquilizer, responsibly. I think some bodies, like some physiologies are just far more inclined to become addicted. I'll never become an alcohol.

I don't have a good time on alcohol. I have a terrible time post alcohol. That like get to the plateau and have a good time is not a plateau for me. It's a knife edge. I'm always either falling over the other side or not actually drunk. Like I can't seem to find that happy place very much. And I think I'm just not at risk to become an alcoholic because I hate the stuff. I totally am.

I totally am. I added beer to my cart yesterday, my Instacart order. and then I thought about it like 10 minutes later and I was like, take that beer out. Take that beer out. I changed my mind. I love them. I love them.

They're delicious. I've gotten over the taste. Now I like to taste of beer now. I've had enough of them. And like if I've been outside like pulling weeds or like trimming the limbs or something, I'm hot and sweaty and I come in and I'm a little bit achy, I'm like, ooh, that cold Coors banquet beer is going to hit the spot. I'll just guzzle a whole pint of it at once.

It could be a problem. I could easily become an alcoholic because I love being, like, I don't love being blitzed, but I love being like a little tipsy. I wish I had a beer right now. You would love ketamine then unfortunately. You would love ketamine then, unfortunately. I'd like to look ketamine and slip into a hot tub, you know, just relax. That sounds safe.

Yeah. That's Listeners, that's a Matthew Perry reference, I'm sure of it That's how he died. Yeah, that's how I died And I always wonder Like how long was he in there

Percolating in that 104 degree hot tub Oh my gosh Well, they turn off on their own Oh, do they? Yeah, you have to keep it in the Everyone I've ever been And you have to keep bumping the timer To get it going again

I don't remember that being the case On my last hot tub Well, I might be thinking of the bubbles though Maybe it stays warm my last one just went. You turned that thing on and I remember like one winter it snowed and I went outside. I had my laptop sitting there. I had my like big thing of iced tea sitting there and I was just on the internet like sitting

in there percolating with the snow all around me out there for like three or four hours. I don't remember having to hit the button. That's how Canada should do their like healthcare death because you know you hear about people. Oh yeah. I'm sad and I want to kill myself and they're like, all right, get in this horrifying chamber. remember? They should just overload you on ketamine and put you in a hot tub. That's probably a much better way to go. And then in six to eight hours, you'll be tender.

Yeah. Because have you seen that picture? There's some lady in a suicide pod, like, waving outside of it in Canada. And it's like, how do you not have like a moment when you're in your like weird spaceship escape pod being filled with carbon monoxide or whatever they do? nitrogen, right? You're like, actually, no, no, I think, you know, I think I'm just going to go bananas the rest of my life. Do you think there's a hand signal to back out? Tap out. Maybe. I changed my mind. I changed my mind. You're already paid, sir. Kyle seems to want the ump to review this call. I don't know what he's talking about. Like tapping my hat. Taping my hand in there in the pod. That's horrible.

The hot tub thing. There's a place called Hot Springs, North Carolina. And as you might guess, there's like warm water that comes from the ground. And they make these like hot tubs out of it where the water just constantly flows from the ground down the hill. Anyway, there are tourist like setups there that put little cabins. I think it's more or less designed for outdoor fucking. Like I think they just sort of set you up in these semi-private hot tubs with fresh water flubes. flowing through all the time where people are supposed to bang in semi-public.

Yeah. Hot Springs, North Carolina. Go check it out, boys. I haven't been yet. I don't trust Hot Springs. I don't know if you ever seen the movie Mount St. Helens with a guy that played James Bond. I'm pierce Brosnan, but there's a scene where this couple hops hops in the little pond and the, the mountain's about to go. The volcano is about to explode.

So there's always underground activity. It boils them. Like it boiled alive in the little pond. And ever since then, I'm like, I mean, how hot are those hot springs? Oh, they come out at 102. Do they ever come out 110? Well, rarely. What about 2 or 12?

Does it ever just like boil somebody alive in there? That's never happened once? I'm not getting in there. How hot is this shower? Like 130? No, that would be, that would be gruesome. One 30 is really hot. Like 100, like 100 to 104 is what, like at 104, the hot tub is so hot.

I'm like, oh, I can even deal with this. I had it in my head that like 98.6 felt neutral. I guess not. I guess that's hot. Let's see. How hot. Yeah, like 105 degree hot tub is almost unbarrowed. Yeah, 98 to 105.

104 is almost, 105 is more than I can tolerate. Like, I can't tolerate 105. You like get a hot as a shower. And you're like, I didn't know my screwing had this sort of stretch. what's that I said that you get out of a hot tub that hot and you're like scrotum is reaching new levels

of saggous it's still in there you have to be like a like a kids growth chart where you're marking on your thigh where you're like wow that's crazy 105 in a shower is kind of normal

and 112 is like dangerous and bad oh yeah that's only seven degrees different I didn't know it would be so important. Yeah, yeah, you definitely, I know, like, when I, when the hot tub would be on 104 or 105, that was just too much. Like, I wanted it to be about 103.

And you could totally tell the difference. It's a huge feel difference between 100 and 104. It's, it's, 1004 is way too much. It's, when I would get out, I'd be like, overheated and, like, breathing too heavily. And my heart felt like it was working too hard. Maybe my body's trying to cool itself down. it's like did feel healthy. I got in a, I was in a hot tub once in high school with some guys on my hockey team.

And thank goodness I didn't get stricken by the... But this one dude got in and had like foot fungus. And a couple of the other guys in there like got fungal infections because this retard was like, whatever, let it ride and just got in there. I've gotten that before. None of us knew. Yeah. It's called folliculitis.

It's like sort of under your arms, like your armpit area or a little below it on your like upper upper ribs. Like a red itchy sort of dry rash cause bit that you can get in a hot tub if they're not like perfectly clean, I guess. It's not a big deal to treat or anything, but it's uncomfortable. It is a pretty gross thing to do with others when you think about it. What if someone didn't wipe their ass well? What if they didn't shower beforehand? Like now you're kind of souping in there with that. Yeah, you wouldn't hot tub.

Should hit 212 every once in a while just to sterilize it. Dude, I was so scared Wings was going to get in the hot tub. I was so scared Wings was going to get in the hot tub with us when he was at my house. Like me and Kitty would be outside in the hot tub chilling and like wings would be out there talking to us. And I'd be like, please God, don't let her polite ass invite him to get into this hot tub by any means at all. Like first of all, it's going to overflow. I was going to ask that. Would water four over the sides of wings get in?

Yeah, yeah, he's two people. It's like two. So we were four over the side of two people got in? That's a good point. As soon as I said it, I was like, hey, he could take four though. Like, you know, I don't want him in there, though. He's all, he's nasty, you know.

Like, he can't clean well. Even if he wants to get clean, he can't. I believe that was your experience? I did. So I saw him in person at the billionaire's bash, and his hygiene was A-plus there. so not at Kyle's place apparently but like he wasn't just clean

he like he smelled pleasant yeah well Kyle you also tell that story where like he had just finished working out at your house at the boot camp and you were like everybody ready to go to outback and he's like yep and you're like are we sure

I was like well I'm gonna I am gonna take a shower before I go because it got a little sweaty helping you work out I'll be out in a minute. You want to go after me or before me? I don't want to use the hot water up. And it's not an issue anyway, but he's just like, no, I'm good.

I'm like, you stinky motherfucker, you have to take a shower before I will go to dinner with you for your reward dinner. Is this part of the conversation just in your head or for real? I'm loud. I called him a stupid motherfucker in front of everybody because I had politely nudged him three times about you got to take a shower. It's time to bathe now. You're covered in sweat and bacteria, and I can smell the bacteria breeding on your flesh right now in every crevice and orifice. Get in the shower that we built for you lately. And the whole thing was we were going to Outback to reward him for losing 28 pounds or whatever he lost.

Get a nice bloomin onion. Probably, yeah. I love that plum and onion. That thing's delicious. I don't find the calorie, versus reward to be worth it. I'm not saying they taste bad, only that they're horrifically high calorie. And if I'm going to...

Sodium. I'd take a lava cake over that. A good lava cake, I would. Yeah. A good lava cake? Yeah. And I bet the calories are comparable. Made that up.

I'm not sure, but... Yeah, but when you think about it, onion, vegetable, healthy. True. You know. Fact check, true. You're getting your... All those vitamins that are in onions, there's probably something good, right? I somehow doubted

I don't know because it's nice You get some Get some B3 or whatever nice Yeah There's something good in there Have you all seen this This Mexican Batman? I linked the

Yes I think I did Is it the motorcycle guy? Yep Yeah yeah yeah So apparently There's a mysterious Mexican Batman vigilante Who's been

Beating up criminals then taping them to poles, beaten, sometimes two at a time. And he's left him with signs saying what they did wrong or whatever. They're all motorcycle thieves. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He hunts down motorcycle thieves.

I guess, no, I don't know if a motorcycle thief is someone who uses a motorcycle to steal, like you see in, like, they're world countries all the time, or someone who steals motorcycles. So this guy is just running around with a motorcycle. The bandolier full of tape, obviously, and catching people.

It's in his utility belt. I feel like you would need someone to be a little compliant to even begin the taping of them to. An ass whoopin will make people very compliant. Exactly. That's like the last guy was fucked up. I mean, I think he's doing a pretty good job of assaulting. I need to see the second of the last guy again. He's a little roughed up.

He had some dingers on his forehead. The last guy is fucked up. Oh, the last guy. Yeah, not the second of last. That's pretty funny. What a king. Good for him. Cool guy a week.

I look at the second of the last guy. Is it two people with pacifiers and cat whiskers drawn on them? Looks like it, yeah. What a beast. This guy will be dead soon. You're about to find out why there aren't too many real vigilante batmen roaming the streets anywhere, anytime. It's because people have guns. and in real life Batman gets fucking shot.

I'm not wearing occupants. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Yeah, effectively you are. Well, in Mexico, fewer people have guns, right? I don't know. I would have, I mean, we have the most. I think we've done a really good job of getting guns to the people who want them in Mexico here in this country.

Yeah, it wouldn't work here. Too many people, good and bad guys have guns to be taped. Isn't there a Batman in Seattle? I have no, I, you tell me. I'm pretty sure there's a Batman in Seattle who's like a black martial artist who, and I think maybe they have mutual combat there too. And I'm, in my head, I've seen a video of Batman duke in it out with a bad guy in the streets. He's wearing a full Batman costume, by the way. Like, it's a good one.

That's awesome. No capes. Yeah, a cape would be a huge liability if you're actually in a fight. Yeah, his name is Phoenix, Joe. Jones. No, so not very anonymous. Well, you know, you're going to get caught eventually. You can't be, isn't an aggressive fight?

That guy's got the high top. I'm here for it. This is kid and play in the house. Phoenix Jones rocks. That's awesome. Do you guys go kid and play? No. Zad, can you find a picture of kid and play?

This was one of the more entertaining rap artists from like 1988 or something like vet and his high top was famous. That's Phoenix Jones. Apparently he took his mask off at a press conference outside of a courthouse and revealed his identity to the world. He was a professional mixed martial artist with a 7 and 3 record. It was higher in my memory, but still good. Was anyone demanding his identity or he just volunteered? Oh, yeah. Everybody wanted to know who Batman was. He'd been roaming

in the streets, beating up criminals for a while. You should have kept it under wraps. He could have done more good. Maybe so. Yeah. If I were a vigilante, I'd bring a gun. Oh, yeah. For sure.

I'm not dancing about wearing a chess protector. That's ridiculous. Like, because the guys you're going to run into probably have guns. You ever see Death Wish? Wait, wait. Yes. Did we move on from the Batman thing? Because I just watched that short.

The dude got a. rested for selling drugs. Phoenix Jones did. Like, he wasn't, well, I don't somehow I don't hate drug dealers as much as I'm supposed to, but yeah, he sold MDMA. He was selling it. That's fun drug. That's not even a bad drug.

Yeah. Yeah, no big deal. Look, how else is he going to... He's got to buy gadgets, Woody. It's a public service, really. Where else are you going to get your MDMA? MDMAs? Come on. You saw that costume. I think they come from mines.

Okay, wait, but his face reveal that you guys are talking about, have you seen him with the mask on? Yeah. It's not much of a face reveal. Like, he just showed his airline. No, I knew who he was, you know. I mean, look at him in, like, the news broadcast. I put a screenshot in chat. Like, you can see it.

You can recognize that guy. Let me see. Oh, no way, dude. No way. Exactly. Throw that up. this could be anybody. Here's the thing.

If I knew him, I think even I would recognize him. I hear his voice. I see his face, etc. But if I'm using like AI to find him, it doesn't work. You? Kyle, if you wore that, I'd know it was you. I don't believe you. Oh, please.

You'd start telling a story about your dreams or something. I'd be like, I know that guy. I don't believe you. No way. You would not raise. I mean, you might recognize my voice, but you don't recognize my face. You are not a face recognizing kind of guy. That's bullshit, Taylor.

I'd recognize you anywhere. It's not happening. I don't believe you. Okay. Yeah, but there's no way you can be a vigilante like the fisticops. You got to have a gun. Numbchucks? You got to have a gun.

Fucking gun. You better be fucking Bruce Lee if you're going to bring nunchucks. And you better strike first and strike hard, Gobra Kai style. Because as soon as you're going to be a gun, they recover, they're going to blast your ass. Yeah, I don't know. Spear gun. You're one of those like

pepperball guns. No. I wonder, if you're not allowed to have guns, are you allowed to have spear guns? Yeah, yeah. I'm allowed to have all sorts of weird things like that. Yeah, I can have black powder guns. Like if you go back to like some of those Clint Eastern Westerns, that he's using black

powder revolvers. He just load each cylinder. Instead of putting a shell in, a round in, Each one is like powder and packing and a, you know, a lead projectile. Like, I could have that if I want. Can you leave that on the, like a normal gun, as you know, you could leave it in your top drawer for like 30 years? And it'll probably work when you pull the trigger.

Is that true with black powder? Ooh, old black powder definitely probably not. Definitely probably not. Probably definitely not. Oh, you corrected it better. Yeah, yeah, it works better. with modern stuff, I don't know about the pistols. Only black powder stuff I've messed around with was rifles

because George introduced a primitive weapons deer hunting season between archery and rifles. There was black powder for a week. And my dad and I were like, well, let's get some black powder rifles. And they use a cylinder of compressed black powder. It's like you could just hold like a little nugget and you just drop that down the barrel instead of like pouring loose powder in with like a powder horn and going through that whole rigamarrow,

those things are crazy accurate and effective to several hundred yards and are like really user-friendly and effective guns. Like surprisingly. I'm not a hunter, but I've heard you talk about, I guess they're called game wardens. I don't know. And they seemingly are a real problem. But in my made up version of what hunting is like, you go two decades. and you've never seen one. How effective are they at catching someone using the wrong gun at the wrong time or starting a little too early?

So they do sting operations where they'll take a fake deer and put it out in the field. It's eyes light up, its head turns, it like bends down and looks up and it's a big buck. And they'll be out there waiting for somebody to drive by, see it and then shoot it. In the South, people drive around looking to shoot deer off the road from their cars, which is a very illegal. as far as like infractions with like dove hunting that's usually done in a field with lots of dove hunters so it's easy to find like a heavy concentration of dove hunters and go hunter to hunter making sure their guns hold the right amount of bullets making sure everybody's got their license that nobody's drinking etc but i always had this issue with one particular game warden who just

stalked the we're hunting on about 5,000 acres of corn and soybeans and he was just there. He was just there, like, every day waiting on us to shoot our guns, and he'd, like, zipped toward wherever the gunshot came from, find us, and then check on us, and, like, check everything. Make sure our guns were right.

Well, guns wasn't really concerned in rifle season, but making sure that, like, our licenses were right, that we put the punch in it, that we, for this deer, because that's what, that's what I'd do. That's how I'd kill 30 deer a year, is I just wouldn't punch the card.

I had a license, but I'd be holding it in my hand going down the, the rug with the dead deer in the back and if we were to get like pulled over by the game war and I just go and like mark my deer but if he don't get us then I'm not marking it because I'm those those limits are for amateur hunters I'm a professional all right I'm out here twice a day every day I'm hunting five hours a day for the entire deer season I'll run out of punch cards in 10 days or something like that I'm killing so many deer but you know I I'm not punching that fucking car um but he was harassed passing us constantly. Always like an old,

what a jerk. Unfairly, it sounds. Those deer need a killing. They're eating the soybeans. They're overpopulated. It's not my fault that I can kill a deer at 600 yards. It will. All right? Like, if I can see him, I can kill it. Definitely your fault. It's not my fault. God gave me that talent. Blame him. Not me. You're like the guy from saving private riot.

Yeah. Are you a gun guy at all, Goblin? I was when I still lived in the Midwest, but I mean, I live in California, so there's no enjoyment to be had with guns here. But when I lived in the Midwest, I had a lot more guns. And I wasn't like hunting or anything. I've never like killed a living creature, but I'd be down to try it. But I would just go to the range a lot with my friends and fuck around. I remember when I had gotten, because Illinois is the only state in the country where you have to get that FOID.

card to even own a gun. Every other state, like, you have to apply to get a conceal. But Illinois, like, you have to apply just for the right to go buy the gun. And there's a whole, I still have the card in my wallet. I don't want to docks myself, but never mind. I took it out of my wallet now. But I still have one either way. Yeah, I have my FOID card.

And I remember I landed from a flight like two months after getting it one day. And a Supreme Court judge in Illinois had shot down the, like, automatic weapon and assault weapon ban for a temporary two week period. There was like an injunction set. So I literally from the airport with my suitcases got in an Uber straight to the gun store and like walked in with my bag on

and like my suitcase and everything. They probably thought I was about to shoot the place up. And I was like, guys, no, I'm just here to buy any assault rifle you'll sell me. And I bought like the shittiest AR. And I bought like, I got a KSG, which was awesome. Like the Black Ops 2 weapon. I love that.

My biggest regret that I didn't buy was they had a 9-mill MP5 and I did not buy that because it was like 20... Well, I wanted that shit. I mean, regardless of the technical analysis behind it, I wanted that shit on the shelf, you know? Nowadays, it'd be sick.

You get an FRT trigger for that thing, which basically auto legally, that would be pretty sick. Any... FRT triggers are the coolest thing that's happened to guns in my entire lifetime. nothing compares to how cool FRT triggers are. I told Taylor to get one.

They seemingly make them for like everything. And it just makes your gun a machine gun legally. It's so cool. Maybe someday, but I don't think I need a force force trigger for... What I'm going to do, like, if someone invades my house and I grab my AR, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have to do more drywall work. First of all, I always dreamed of the scenario of a home intruder getting machine gunned in my house. I was like, I had my, I literally had an og, like, machine gun, like, under my bed.

And I was like, man, if they come in with a 45 round magazine, I'm like, I wish, I wish a ninja would. I just wish. If I ever had to do that, I sleep naked semi-off and I would have to throw my glasses on. And so I'd be, like, running out there like a barbarian. That's why you want a machine gun. You don't need the glasses. You just spray the whole hallway. you're overestimating my vision.

I need the glasses. Fair, fair. Bring the glasses, but also the machine gun. And they're only like a few hundred bucks, and you get them on pistols and SMG type things and ARs and AKs and everything. It's awesome. They are very cool.

Illinois, like, that's where you're from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Illinois has some of the gayest laws in the country. You're telling me. Guns and whatnot. Like going from Missouri to Illinois

feels like going to a different country because Missouri is kind of a do-what-you-want-state and Illinois's like, no, we have our finger in every little pie. Like you can't do this. That's why so many, even with legal weed, we have so many Southern Illinois people that come over the border, over the river, buy in Missouri because it's so much cheaper here

and then take it back and sell it in Illinois. It sucks in Illinois. They were bold with their weed prices. their weed taxes rather. Yeah, Illinois weed is horrible. It's horrible weed and it's so expensive. I paid $100 one time for a gram of, it was like pure THC, the little white crystals.

Like you got a little bag of white crystals that looked like something much harder. And it was $100, maybe $90, $95 a gram. I mean, it was incredible. You know, when I dropped that shit into my dab rig, I got wasted, but it's $100 a quarter. Like the stuff I spoke now is like $5 a gram or something. I think didn't some sort of Illinois tax push the Bears to now make a stadium in Indiana?

Yeah, they were going to originally. So the problem is the original soldier field is a complete shit hole. Like I don't know if any of you guys ever been to a Bears game, a Bears home game. You don't want to go. It's not a good stadium. It's extremely outdated. And like it's small. Like it's just a small stadium

And originally outdated bad Because I imagine myself liking it But I'm listening I went to SOFI I went to a Rams game at SOFI here in L.A And it was my first time going to a stadium That wasn't Soldier Field And I was blown away

I was like oh Because when I grew up going to Soldier Field I never understood the hate Until I went to like a good stadium That had modern amenities There's not enough bathrooms or stalls for anything So the line from everything at Soldier Field you're going to miss half the game.

Like if you have to take a piss, you're going to miss a quarter, like bare minimum. Oh, no. Okay. It's insane. There's like four stalls on like each level and like the line will be out the door around the corner at any point in the game.

In terms of the vendors, there's like the food's fine, but there's not enough. It's just too small. Okay. So like there's no room to expand it because the whole stadium is like, it's built with this like stone.

It's like some big coliseum almost. if you've ever seen the outside pictures of it. Like it's not a very upgradable stadium. So they're originally looking at Arlington Heights, but there was some dispute with like, I don't know who the governor or something like that. And they said, fuck it, we're going to Hammond, Indiana. Which like, as someone from the Chicago area,

nobody likes Indiana. Nobody wants to go to Indiana. I think that's just a general consensus, even outside of Chicago. Nobody wants to go to Indiana. that. So, you know, I'm excited for a new stadium. I'm not excited for the location. I'm convinced that, you know, you're right. If I were king, they'd just improve the problems. Yeah. But I get a lot of joy like, dude, in 1985, Walter Payton ran right there. This is the same place.

This is the story, you know, Wrigley Field or whatever. It's the same field. Yeah. But build a, get rid of the stadium, leave the field. like get me 2,000 toilets. Like Mercedes Ben Stadium has 1,500 toilets. Yeah, like Soldier Field. Yeah, Mercedes-Benz Stadium is incredible. Like, it's next level. It's probably one of the more modern stadiums in the country.

Yeah. I mean, I'm down for more toilets, obviously. And nice vendors. It seems like nice vendors is everybody's best interest, right? I want to buy a better hot dog and you want to sell one. Let's do this. I just love the story. Like Madison Square Garden, right?

Like when fighters go there, when the UFC has an event there, it's something special, right? Like Muhammad Ali fought here. You know the fight venue I always wanted. I'm sorry to cut you off, but it's the Coliseum. Like when they were talking about doing that fight between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk in the Coliseum. I would have loved that. I would have loved that. Me.

I would love that. Zuckerberg. Yeah, Zuckerberg, of course, of course. He's like a blue belt at least in Jitz, if not better. And he's fairly fit, like he's not like muscular, but he's fit and Musk is not. Right. He's got that, although I think he's a Zimpic down or something like that. He doesn't have that big walrus belly that he had several years ago or whatever.

Yeah, the Coliseum would be incredible though. That's protected. Hey, cool people have big rib pages. This thing that people have. Dana said that, like, Italy wanted, like, cool people have birthing hips. Dude, Kyle, if you're really thin, what is the, your waist size, like 26 or something insane? Oh, no, like, 26 is like woman. That would be bananas.

30, 30 for sure, but like 28. I can wear 28s. I was off by one size. Yeah, if I, if I'm, if I'm 170. If I'm high 170s, I can wear a 28. I could diet to death, like literally die. Alshowitz and my bones are just 32 or something. Like I don't have a 28 in me. Yeah, in high school I wore like when I was fat, it's 34s.

And when I'm like average skinny fat, it's like 32s. And then when I'm like mega fit, it's like 28, 29. Dude, if I'm in 34s or 32s, I'm like, pirouetting in front of the mirror, like, look at this guy. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get my blood work tomorrow. I hate it. I'm going to faint. I'm going to faint. I'm going to faint. I already decided I'm going to bring a bottle of water and have some, like, napkins in my pocket so that I can, like, put wet, like, napkins on my head while they're doing it. So I don't look at it. It's not, like, you want to. Like, huh? Do you warn them? Like, hey, hey.

Oh, yeah. I faint. I'm a bit of fainter. Let's make sure that I don't like fall off the chair. Yeah, yeah. I tell them every time. I was like, hey, I faint. I faint almost every single time I do this.

I am at the very least going to get super lightheaded and pale right in the middle of this thing. Because they take a ton of blood seemingly. It's like, I don't know, 12 vials or something like that. And then, you know, they got. to like remove each vial, stick it on, so they're wiggling that needle in my vein. And I'm not looking at it, but I can feel it and it hurts. And like, I, this is the blood loss is making me a little loopy too. Like, I faint almost every single time. Is the looking what gets you? Like, can you not resist looking a little bit? No, I don't look. I look away the whole time and it still

fucks me up and makes me faint. And the sound doesn't help. I can hear my blood spraying into the while. Here's my question. One time in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu I was visiting in California, I got choked out by this guy I didn't know. And I didn't recognize the risk. But when I drove back to the hotel

and finally got there safely, I felt like a drunk driver that dodged the bullet. I was like, I don't think I was a safe driver for that trip. The choking out, it fucked me up, like, for hours. When you faint giving blood, do you like bounce back all the way in a few minutes?

Yeah, bounce back instantly in just a few minutes. Same with panic attacks. Same with when my cousin and I had a sword fight when we were like in our teenagers and he stabbed me in the arm pretty bad and I had to pull the thing out of my arm. And when I could look and see white flesh down inside my arm, I immediately felt faint. And like I could tell there's a timer had begun. Like I'm going to go unconscious in roughly 15 seconds.

and I'm like rushing toward the spigot to like get cold water. And as soon as that cold water hits my face, it triggers something in your brain chemistry and it does a reset. It's like, whoa, that other thing? Forget that. We've got cold waters hit our face. That's a shock to the system and it just completely reboots my system

and I'm good to go again. Have you ever fainted goblin? One time when I was younger, I get very close when I get my blood drawn. And I did get my blood drawn a few times earlier this year. But when I was younger, there was one day where like, I don't remember why,

but I've been up all night the night prior. And early in the morning, I went over to my friend's house to buy some weed from his older brother. And before I left, he was like,

hey, like, let's smoke a blunt in the garage real quick. And I'm sitting on this folding chair in his garage. And I stood up, I don't know if I stood up too quick or what. And I just collapsed immediately.

But it was weird because, like, I wasn't unconscious. Like, I realized, like, consciously, I was like,

I just like flopped for a second. It was weird. Like, I literally closed my office. just a blunt. A blunt. That's what I wanted because that exact thing happened to me

with that. What's a blunt? Which one is that? You take a cigar. Yeah. Yeah. The cigar wrapper is made of tobacco. That's an important thing.

So like you're getting a lot of nicotine and weed at the same time. I smoked a blunt with X jaws in a bathroom in my suite in Vegas. And we got ripping high just passing it back. and forth watching like his personal videos he had on his laptop. He'd been hanging out with a little twist,

which I guess is like Little Wayne's cousin or something like that, had all these wacky videos we were watching. When I stepped out of there, I made it maybe three steps and collapsed to the floor, like just collapsed, just flat on my face. And I'm just like, I'm okay.

Just leave me here for a while. This is almost for my mom's benefit and mine. I know she watches the show. Do you slice the cigar and remove the inside? and then what do you do with the cut? How do you get the internals of the cigar out to replace? Lick it and it sticks back together. So you peel it apart.

Razor blade down the side, get it split open. You can razor blade it or just if you're good and it's the right kind of paper with your fingers, just kind of pull it apart with your thumbs, you know? He just flexed on you, Kyle. You're going to take that? I mean, I use a razor blade.

He used whatever you want. There's nothing wrong when he's using a blade. Yeah, yeah. If you're new to this, if you don't know what you're doing, some people use razor blade. But if you're good, then you're like a surgeon on this thing. You can also buy blunt wraps that don't have the tobacco in them and are like ready to go to like put weed in and same thing.

Oh. But that's, I haven't smoked to many blunts in my life, maybe three. And they've always made me really hard way to smoke. Yeah. Why? Tell me why. Just because it's so much heavier and thicker than just smoking a joint or smoking a bong bowl. It's uncomfortable the, the smoke.

in your lungs? Yeah, it's just, I don't know how else to say it. It's just heavier and thicker because that wrap is so much more substantive. There's a lot of airflow. Yeah. There's a lot of airflow coming through there. Whereas even with like a pre-roll joint where you've got like a, it's got to call it a bat. It's pretty fat on the end and it comes down skinnier.

And then there's a cardboard like, um, mouthpiece part like like that you and it's really small though, what you're drawing the smoke. Is it sometimes plastic? It looks like. Yeah, you can get those. Sometimes. You can buy the plastic ones and put them in there if you want to be fancy about it. I didn't know.

If you're at home, there's no reason not to use glass at all. Yeah, glass is. I like a little, just a little bowl. Like little bowls is the way to go. Just a little.

I'm intimidated by the glass thing. I don't know how they work. There's a carburetor. What the fuck? There's a carburetor on your. I don't know. what's happening here? You just have your thong.

Is that an Edel Brock? And then hit it and release it. That's a four barrel, huh? You left out so many steps. Everyone leaves out so, oh, you just put your thumb on it. I'm like, dude, if I put my thumb on it, I won't get high. Like, I don't know what's happening. You just put your thumb on it.

No, no. You're leaving out steps. You must suck on it at some point. Okay. Yeah, but that's natural. That's not even a step. All right. I put my thumb on it.

Here's the bowl that has the, the end of my thumb is the bowl. It has the weed in it. It's a little metal cup or a quartz cup. Put my lighter over that, not on it, and put my thumb on the hole and I and then so the air is being drawn through the bowl with the weed in it. So it's sucking the fire down. Smoke's going into the thing until the whole vessel is full of smoke. Now the whole vessel is full of smoke. So I remove my thumb. So now the airflow will come through the thumb hole, not through the weed hole, clear the whole thing. And I got it all. And that's smoke that has been percolated, oftentimes many times through cool or cold water. Or even like,

like we have those ice bongs that you literally load up with like crushed ice or something like that. I used to freeze my bong. It would be in the freezer getting chilly. What bong are you ripping that has a rush that you plug? Oh, no, I think he was talking about a bowl. Oh, okay. I just I was like, where's the hole on it? You'd have to have some dog shit acrylic bong to have a thumbhole. Well, I'm just going to, some of them do. Some of, I'm trying to give them an idea of like what the process is. But it's not complicated.

I've had girlfriends that get this far. Yeah. I've had girlfriends that I had a baby bird. I haven't thought about this in forever. But do you remember like standing around in like a group? Oh, I know what that is. I know what you're pulling out. And people are.

like, you roasted the bull, dude. I don't even know how to put this together. There's only, there's only two parts. There's no. One, two, three, four, five, there's six parts in this. Two parts. Well, the black parts are the clamps that hold the pieces together. Yeah.

You just take the long pipe on the bottom and screw it into the fat beaker base. Oh, you have sense. That's hilarious. Well, yeah, you screw a slide. Five years ago. Yeah. Three pipe bomb. Are they still looking at all the dots.

2023 edition. Yeah, yeah, right? Let's see. It's a little dusty. Yeah, that's the way to smoke. Bongs are king for a reason. I've got my 31 right here. Yeah.

Yeah. You got a nice little work at the bottom. Yeah. I don't think I've ever smoked burning marijuana. When I was in Colorado, when I was legal there, I got a vape. But outside of that, just gumming. you're better off with a vape like you're getting just you're getting high

and you're not coughing as much like even with a nice bong you're going to cough like it's smoke you know I thought a vape is harsh oh no the least harsh thing I can imagine yeah

all right he's flexing on me now that's not nice I'm just saying like if you think this is hard this is how Goblin talks to Kyle if this is harsh like you get that wrong the harshest thing is dabs

Kyle potmogged me dabs are too much I remember the first time I was around dabs it was in college and I went to my friend's apartment and he was like you want to smoke some weed and I was like sure and I was just I had only ever smoked flour like in my bong or in a piece or whatever

and he like got out a blow torch and started heating up the like ceramic bowl and I was like this is is so... This has made weed sketchy. Like, now you have, like, tools and shit. Like, really, we couldn't get high enough just smoking a normal bong?

No. No, you couldn't. No. You get infinitely higher smoking dabs. Dabs are so good. But they're incredibly harsh. I want to go to 10 out of 10 high. I used to dab reclaim out of my bong, and that shit was harsh. It was, like, tar.

But it gets you high. It was, like, concentrate, concentrate. I remember in college, like me and my friends were trying to get high, but none of us had, either none of us had enough money or the drug dealer was out of town. And so we shattered this like old uncleaned bowl and then scooped all the nonsense out of it and put it in the bong. Jeez, Louise, tasted like shit, but we got fucked up. And it sizzles and pops because there's a little bit of water left in it. So it's like spitting at you. while you're roasting it.

I used to take alcohol and put it in there and like shake it so it would come unglued from the inside of the bong and then I would like like a ketchup bottle like slap the back of the bong

into like a plate and then I was like panning for gold like an old 49er like spilling the water out but leaving the tarry sticky float and then I take a razor blade and I scrape all that shit up and then I'd goo it down

into the fucking nail like in a with a razor blade while I was hitting the dab who that gets you going Jesus yeah no it's good thing marijuana is not addictive at all it would seem it's not it's literally not like like like so I want with my razor blade scraping the tar off my used and pot yeah

yeah it's not addictive like when I had to quit it's not addictive I just need it right just now so I took the remnants of the black tar ashes and put it in a spoon, lit it and snorted in these. The fumes coming off, but it's fine. I mean, I wanted to get high, but I wasn't addicted because, like, they, I had to quit. Think about it. I had to quit cold turkey. I had to quit cold turkey. I had to go. I could stop any time I get a court order. Yes. And there were, like, but I wasn't like, fiending for it. I needed the state to step in. I didn't need them to. They took. They

upon themselves. And at no point was I like, man, I wish I could just get a little weed in me. Oh, I want it so bad. I was like, I mean, I wish I could. But like bigger fish to fry, you know, like it wasn't that big of a deal. Whereas with like cocaine or cigarettes, if you just one day like came in, we're like, give me those. And like, you can never smoke again. I'm like, fuck, I wish I'd known that was my last one.

I'd have smoked down to the butt. I would have savored it. I'd have swallowed the butt. How many... Do you still smoke the, like, traditional cigarettes with the light on the end? That's all you do. Yeah. You have those Chinese vapes that taste terrible.

The Chinese vapes that taste terrible. This is literally what is... What flavors this? Marshella, I'm getting calling it. It's called bee burst. It's like, it's a bunch of berries. Like, these are wonderful. These are amazing.

I wish I was... No berries were harmed in the making of that beep. Fuck, no. Who cares? Geek bar. These geek bars are amazing. You can't tell me they're not good for you. You can't tell me they're bad for you. There's no resource that says anything of the sort. There isn't. There isn't. Find me the article. Find me the research. Find me anything. This is that same like. Yeah, what? Have you done the research on the Chinese vapes? She used to talk about MSG is bad for you. People used to talk about like diet soda is bad for you. You're fine. You got bigger fish to fry.

the world of toxins we live in than nicotine vapes that are, this is not, this is the same stuff that's in albuterol inhalers. Like it's the same vapor. I want you to take a vaso constrictor makes your dick not as hard.

Yeah, I got to feel for that. Yeah, but even that out with drugs. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking. So you take a vasodilator and you're solved. By the bean. Yes. Yeah.

These are wonderful. Your shit has no flavor. It's no flavor. It's not even, this is hunger satiating. You might consider something like this in your life, you know? Like, you don't need as many cheese. You got some berries in your pocket. There's no hunger satiating tool that works on me.

Nicotine does for sure for me. Like when I was cutting a lot away, I was really hitting the vape. I was smoking a lot of nicotine. I wonder what Ozimic would feel like. I don't know. I feel like I'd eat through it. You think you could defeat Ozzypic? I think I could defeat Ozzypic.

Eating is awesome. My dad's taking OZempeg. He said he's like, I could eat something, I could eat a little something today. And I have to make myself eat tomorrow because I won't be hungry. And then the third day, I'm a little hungry. Like, I can have a sandwich or something, but I'm not really hungry. And the fourth day, I can have a snack. It's like, like, you just have no hungry.

for a week. Like a, like, you can feel like the half-life of the thing like going through, but like, it takes away all your hunger, apparently. He's lost to put the way. I was, I was stressed out with all the house stuff and whatnot and staying in the hotel. And so yesterday I went down to the front desk where they had that little snack kiosk. And I bought like three bags of hotel overpriced cheeses and some Pringles, sour cream and onion, which I have not cracked yet. That'll be post-yuck. post show and I have a little bit of pizza in the fridge. I can't eat shit like that. Your weakness is different than mine.

A poison you're eating. Just made fun of my completely safe vape. Made fun of my completely safe vape over here, which by the way, I replaced cigarettes with. And then he's like, so I got the sour cream and onion pringles? There's no sour cream or onions in them. And they're technically not chips. They're legally not allowed to call them chips. They're potato, compressed potato shavings that you're eating.

Get out of here. Let me see that can. Let me see the, did you get the little can or the big can? They didn't have the big can. I got the little can. I like that he tells him. I got what he was available. They didn't have family size.

He's embarrassed about it. But no, Taylor, if I was in the hotel and I had the munchies or something, I'd be coming back with something with sugar in it. It wouldn't be cheese at some pretzine potato chips. That's not more savory. They had a ton of ice cream there, but I'm all about the salt. the salty snacks. Dude, I watch these streamers

like peanut and ginger and cloaksie and the shit they eat is horrible. I don't know why they're not fatter. Like she's munching on chocolate covered almonds and she's skinny. I'm like how it's happening. There's almond in there.

Yeah, and she's not remotely heavy. She's thin. Zach, show us a picture of ginger. Yeah. Find a good one. Gingy's a girl. Yeah, Ging is a girl. She's treats with peanut a lot.

She's nice. Everyone says Gingy's a cool guy. Yeah, and she just wanted to the voice. Is there a Mrs. Peanut? There is a serious girlfriend. Maybe fiancé. I'm not sure what the scoop is there. But yeah, that's Gingy.

Yeah, she's not fat. That isn't even like a, she's pretty. The immediate analysis. She can look even better than that. How would you know how fat peanut is? Because he's like a V-tuber who doesn't show his body. I don't know how fat he is. He sometimes compares himself to the other streamers.

And he's less fat than the fat ones. He'll be like, I'm not even that fat. The second most recent comment. Oh, wait. What does it say? Park said things. Second most recent comment. Jesus.

It was five days ago. Oh, 59 weeks ago. That's how old. People are still commenting. Yeah, I got to scrolling down. Yeah, these people are going. This is a 3 a.m. post he made. Kyle, I want you to take like a tea break from weed just because I'm curious how

a tolerance break. Yeah, a tolerance break. because with how much you've smoked and do smoke, I'm just curious what your dreams will be like. Oh, I mean, there's nights where I... Like, there's plenty of nights where I don't smoke, and I do have bananas dreams. I don't want to, like, describe a dream.

Woody already made fun of me telling my dream. Woody hates dream stories. He hates them. There was a Larry David story where they talked about being like king of the world and the rule he would impose is no one who's allowed to talk about their dreams anymore. I message Taylor

Like after I woke up from that dream I was like Can never actually have the sex in the dream I get right up to the cusp of the sex And then like a million things get in the way of it It's I thank you for not message to me I'm going to have to message this girl now

I know where she is Yeah a million things get in the way I'm just right at the cusp of having sex And then suddenly we're not at home in bed anymore. We're like at Target. And I'm like, we got to get out of here. Come on. Let's go.

We need sheep. That's how you earn the sacks, dude. You take her to Target. They love that. So, you're in line. Walmart, maybe. The worst is when you have...

Dayton those high class women over there. The target of the target. The worst is when you have like an upsetting dream right before you wake up. And then you're like in a funk for the first like four hours. of your day because you can't remember it because you can't resolve the made up trauma like I have those sometimes I wake up and I'm like oh that was awful wait what was it and it's gone

I can't remember the bad thing I dreamt about that has me in a funk and so I can't resolve it I can't like logic it away in my own mind and so I'm just stuck with the bad feelings dude I had a dream of a very detailed dream of being fired by Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports. And like when I woke up, I was like, it was just a dream. You still have your job at Barstool Sports. I was like brushing my teeth by the time.

I'm like, you've, you've never worked at Barstool Sports. Like this has never been a thing at all. Why are you like in a funk over this fake job loss? I saw him interviewed recently. He's contemplating running for mayor of New York. I think he's from Boston I think so too I think they'd vote for a Bostonian

I think he's just teasing he ain't running from mayor that's expensive nobody's gonna back him he's a conservative he's very conservative they get Republican mayors I think people act like New York never has like Republicans in it but it does

Not like him Not Portnoy Republicans I don't know Portnoy is like not a Portnoy is like Not a Portnoy Republican. Giuliani was an anti-crime Republican. He was, he had taken down the mob, you know, like he had a lot of credentials. He wasn't out there talking about gays and trans people and, you know, being a right-wing guy like Fortnery is.

Portnoy is much further right than Giuliani. You know, I think if we were in the like pizza reviewing era of Portnoy, he'd probably have a real chance. But, you know, current Portnoy, I don't know. One vote. Everybody knows the rules. Yeah. I mean, I follow him on Twitter and most of the stuff I see from him, maybe it's just the algorithm. It's all like him talking about buying new race horses to bet on race horses. Yeah. Good for him. Michael Bloomberg. He's probably a fun, rich person thing to do. In 2013, he was Republican. He was the most recent one, though. The Jew? Michael Bloomberg, sounds Jewish, but I'm not sure. Yeah.

The current mayor is Mamdami. That's like that's more the vice. in New York right now is the like social Democrat socialist foreigner probably the pendulum is swinging away from like Trump type stuff in New York City who's I saw

like it's always been away from it in New York. I saw I'll hear your name a little bit but she was trying to talk about what it was like I think she's Somali she's like being a Somali American it's about more than just eating bananas and rice okay It's about, you know, it's about a lot of things.

And it's sort of, you know, the experience, the experience is, it's nuance. It's, well, it's like bananas and rice. It's like bananas and rice. And it was like, that's all you got. That's all, that's your whole culture is the fact that you people eat bananas and rice together. My takeaway from this speech is that she's frequently constipated. bananas and rice that's not a meal that's half the bread diet we also have toast

what is the a uh applesauce that's it sounds right but yeah that's apple sauce that's what you tell people to eat when they have like really sensitive tummies and yeah like they can't oh I thought it was like a diarrhea fix it is it's a diarrhea fix for babies and it is applesauce Those people have an average IQ of 75. I don't want any of you representing me.

Not ideal. Low score. That's a scene. We're judging individuals by broad basis. No, we're judging the average IQ of their country. They might send over an Einstein, though. No, they won't. No.

We know where Einstein came from and what his racial background was. And neither are a surprise. I'm not going to say what he is. A Jewish scientist. Weird. The people who categorically have the highest average IQs in the planet produced the smartest guy ever. Weird.

Yeah. Somali is not going to have any Einstein's. I wonder how he'd compare with like the historical genuses. Like what would news? I was wondering too. Who didn't someone like invent calculus to solve a problem they were sorting out? That's Neil deGrasse Tyson's propaganda. There was a lot of it.

That was one of those things that a lot of people collaborated on. The same asshole who got the basketball side. He pissed me off. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a douchebag. Every Christmas, he's like, it's actually just happenstance. The winner's soul. It's like, shut the fuck out. He does that with everything.

Literally everything. I like Neil deGrasseye. It's a side of a really smart guy to only be able to deconstruct things. Wow. I mean, he is really smart. He's literally a genius. No, he got rid of Pluto. Fuck him.

Kyle's on the anti-pluto. I'm on the anti-pluto. I'm on. I'm on. the pro category. But what they really should do and that nobody wants to admit is that there aren't nine planets,

there aren't eight planets, there's not 10, 11, or 12. There's dozens of planets. Name other numbers there aren't. There's dozens of them. I dare you. No, no, no, no. To be a planet, it has to clear out its orbit of other things. So Neptune can't be a planet anymore.

I think Neptune's cleared out its orbit. It hasn't. No, no, we're going to make it about my opinion. It hasn't. Why is Neptune not a planet now? Because it hasn't cleared out its orbit of other objects. Does that include moons? No, it doesn't include moons.

It includes asteroids, planetoids, dwarf planets, and things like Pluto. Which are in its orbit. How many planets are there? Chad GPT says it has cleared out its orbit. It's wrong. It's literally wrong. How many planets are there, according to you? I don't know the number, but it's dozens.

It's dozens. That can't be right. There are. You just removed Neptune and added another dozen. Mercury is smaller than some of the moons in our solar system. Titan is bigger than Mercury. You've got to ship you off to NASA. Your qualifier was Mercury clearing things around it, right?

There's multiple qualifiers for something being a planet. It's not just clearing out its own orbit. It's also a certain size. Pluto doesn't mean. that definition. Neither does Neptune, if you talk about clearing out your orbit, but there's tons of stuff out there that's just in the way of each other. And there's really big asteroids, really big. Series is enormous. It's an asteroid out there. I don't like the definition of planets. I feel like it should be anything big enough that we kind of pay attention to. I agree. Okay. So like if you make it a

size, do you make it size or match? Not mercury. No, I'm not discounting. About his opinion. Like I did. I think it should be based on what I pay attention to. Well, you don't back down. We got this. I'm looking at like, chat TV says it has cleared out its orbit, but then it says it shares its region with the cupier belt. I don't know this word.

K-U-I-P-E-R, okay, Kui-P-E-R, okay, Kiper Belt. And there are Neptune Trojans, asteroids that share its orbit as stable Lagrange points. That's another new word to me. And so it's simultaneously cleared out its orbit and not. And it says a useful way to think about it is Neptune, I control this part of the solar system. So things exist,

but it's that exists that like Neptune influences them, whereas Pluto is a member of a larger population, not a planet. Yeah. So Kyle agreed Neptune's a planet. Yeah, I agree Neptune's a planet. But only if you apply that strict definition that they apply to like Pluto. You just said Neptune wasn't a planet.

planet. A lot of planet if you use the rule. I have a quick neck. I have a victory dance to perform. It does start raining sometimes when I do it. I never said Neptune wasn't a plant. I said based on the rules that they're applying to Pluto, it's not a planet. And that on top of that, if you

just do size or mass, then there are dozens and dozens of planets. I don't think we should have dozens of planets because that's not unfair. That's kind of unfair to like third graders, making them memorize all of it. See, but think of what a silly rationale that is. Like what if you applied that to letters in the alphabet or fucking chemicals in the periodic table or something?

Elements, rather. There's so many elements. How are third graders going to learn this? Teach him in eighth grade, dude. Like, suddenly we're not going to teach the planets in kindergarten anymore because there's two goddamn many. That's a college course. I guess that's true. We did have to learn all the states and capitals, and that's 50.

And the presidents and vice presidents. I learned that fourth grade. It's a hundred. I didn't do well on those. I did. I memorized them the day up. We didn't have to do vice presidents. We just had to do presidents.

Oh, we had to do VPs. Damn. A lot of insignificant VPs, I would imagine. I knew them that day. Almost all of them. Yeah. Almost all of them. Yeah.

Yeah. But, but, yeah. I don't care if Pluto's a planet or not. It's still there. It's just whatever you want to call it. I wanted to find the rest of the planets that are out there. They know that there's at least one more really big planet out there by the gravitational effects it's having on the rest of the solar system,

but they can't find it. What? They can't find it. Yeah. There's people just, there's people poking around all the time with telescopes and whatnot. They can't find it. It's very dark.

It's very far away. Oh, further than Pluto. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I can't nail your position down. Neptune's not a planet and then there's dozens. Well, I thought we flipped on the Neptune opinion. What I was explaining to you was a rationale.

I won the debate. I'm not expressing my opinion one way or the other. What I'm expressing to you is using different rules sets, different things become planets or don't become planets. So if you're going to apply that to Pluto and say it's not a planet because it hasn't cleared out its orbit, then I feel like Neptune by that rationale is also

not a planet when it is clearly an enormous planet I win like you're like arguing with yourself right now a little bit I'm not arguing myself I'm arguing with the idea of the rules set and like discounting one thing for the other like what I'm saying is what's good for the goose is good for the gander like don't just apply it to one thing

how is that confused how is that confused? How is that confusing? This is not rocket science. I mean, this is kind of... What do you think what's good for the goose is good for the gander means? It means that if you're going to apply a rule set to one thing, then it should be applied to all the things. That's about right, though.

I think, yeah, that's true. But you're wrong about Pluto. It's a planet. It's big enough. I haven't expressed an opinion on Pluto. He's trying to be cagey about this because I crushed him in this debate. There was no debate. No. You gotta go talk to Neil DeGrasis.

That sounds like a second place debate thing to say. You gotta go. This is gonna be on the clips channel. Woody owns Kyle in space debate. I think, I mean, I think it should be a planet. Just because we've always called the, call it a little planet, it's pretty fucking. Yeah, it should be grandfathered in, if anything.

Mm-hmm. The pictures of Pluto are incredible. Like, it's a big mountainous landscape with clouds and shit. It's not a... Really? Do we have good pictures of Pluto like that? Yeah. I guess we've sent highlights nearby. One.

Yeah, Zach, can you show us... Do you have any hints to help Zach find it? Picture of Pluto. It has clouds? Solid, solid. Maybe there... When it comes near enough to the sun... Did Hubble take it?

I found this red... When it goes away, the atmosphere goes away. Ah. I thought it was too little to keep any kind of atmosphere around. No. But this picture's pretty HD. I'm waiting for Zach. to show it to me. I'm going

full screen so I can properly enjoy it. I know you don't trust my links. You know, I might have sent- No, I literally expect him to use your link. I just want to see it with the audio. Okay. Zoom in on that, though. You can like really zoom in on the picture. Yeah.

Oh, Pluto's even more of a planet than I thought it was. Why is it so red? That's a real planet. It's rounder than I thought. I thought it like didn't have enough mass to get round, but look super round in this yeah yeah looks kind of nice up in the blue part mercury's the coolest planet to me mercury's very hot no you're mistaken half of mercury is really hot their side's

really cold it's um it's tidily locked to the sun most most planets are like 70 percent uh it's pronounced totally 70 percent silicate and like 30 percent metals and it's the opposite it's like 70% iron and 30% silicate. The theory is that it might be the core of a planet. Like it's a planet core that's ended up there. And one of the theories is that it's the core of the planet Thaya, which was about Mars size that collided with Earth or billion years ago or something like that and created the moon.

And then Mercury just went way close. Well, the core of Thaya and whatever was left of like continued on and ended up in a close sun orbit and became Mercury. Do a lot of people share that opinion? Or is this just some guy like wheeling and dealing? How can you even learn this information? Some deal Tyson deGrasse who says bullshit about the size of basketballs. Spitballing about Thaya's core.

He was wrong about the basketball. I did not care for that. He led me astray. But no, it's a bit of a mystery where Mercury came from. But it's definitely an anomalous planet because of its makeup. mostly metal. It'd be cool if two basketballs really did fit perfectly through the net. And you saw great players shooting them so they were perfect, almost like when the DVD screen

hits the corner just right? Like, you know, like you just want to see it really, really well done. No close calls. That doesn't count. No. Google says they can fit. Google says two basketballs can fit through a standard hoop at the same time. They'd have to smush.

How would they do that? I think a basketball is like 9 and a quarter inches and a net is 18. If that's not right, it's really close. So a standard. It's also retarded. So a standard NBA basketball's diameter is between 9.41 and 9.43 inches. And a basketball hoop is 18 inches. So you're left with a remainder of 0.8 roughly inches there.

So Neil deGrasse Tyson's just wrong. I mean, they must be able to squish, right? like a little bit. He made it sound like they would cleanly go through. Yes, I agree. I've told you he's a notorious fibber. He's not a... They're smushing.

Those are smushing. I can see the smushing in the middle. Yeah, they have to smash. Because there's an extra 0.82 inches or something. What was his point? Although good pictures, Zach, I appreciate your work. Oh, I don't remember the point. It had something to do with...

I don't remember the point actually. It's been a while. They do, on his, like, he has a show called Star Talk. It's really good. And sometimes they just do like little brain teasers like that. This is about the basketball where I got lost for a second.

Oh yeah, I think his point was that hitting a three point shot's not as hard as people make it out to be. That's like where he was going. It should be smaller. Like the rim should be smaller. I always say like it should make it as hard. That game is way too easy that it was designed for a bunch of white Midwestern dude shooting at a peach basket and they kept the court and they kept all the

dimensions the same but they populated the sport with players like wimby who are freaks of fucking nature seven foot tall men with gigantic wingspans you either need to be playing four on four or you need to change the dimensions of the entire game the rim needs to be higher smaller and the court needs to be bigger like it's it's no good i hate that came with a pass It should be a larger court. They should wear pads. Ice everywhere. Why can't they run?

I don't think they're good athletes. Like, compared to the best athletes on the planet. Soccer. No, it's soccer. Basketball's a sick sport to watch, in my opinion.

I enjoy watching basketball more than anything else. I don't understand why they can't play a whole game. I feel like NFL. Oh, you're talking about hockey. I'm talking about basketball. Why can't they play all like 90 minutes or whatever it is? Is it 48 minutes,

goblin does that sound right to you i bet zach knows about yeah i don't know the exact time i just you know those soccer players are out there the whole time running back and forth they run out running miles they see that's the thing they go from jogging to sprinting jogging they go from walking to jogging to sprinting they like messy walks most of the time let's guess this how many miles do you think a soccer player runs in a in a game i don't know i'm going to google eight oh okay probably a couple of them at least like three or four i'm gonna say ten I hope your answer gives us a range. And I'm going to say, yeah, I'm going to say less.

I'm going to say four and a half. Make sure you qualify like someone who's out there the whole time. Five to eight miles. Five to eight miles. Technically correct. Awesome. Wait, neither of us were technically correct. Midfielders.

I said eight. Oh, hang on. Okay, okay. I've got positions now. Midfielders typically run the most, averaging seven to nine point five miles due to there box to box responsibilities fullback 6.4 miles centers 5 to 6 miles goalkeepers average under a mile a game not surprised i called that one yeah but like they're running the whole fucking time if you crank out eight or nine miles like i wonder i wonder what more is for basketball

well it depends on your like qualification for most athletic because then ultra marathon runners two and a half to three miles per game. People on earth, right? Yeah. I think that soccer players are the best cardio machines in all of sports. Why wouldn't you say marathon runners? Because they've turned the running into its own. It's not even a sport, like if you ask me, but they...

Oh, so the whole point of it is the running. In marathon runners are not a sport. What about ultra marathon runners? I'm just saying like amongst sports, like baseball, football, soccer, cricket, all that stuff. like they have the best cardio. It would be a sport if you could like a trip other people. Like if you could do something to impede their ability to achieve their goal, that would be a sport. I think it's a sport because it's not judged by judges.

Like even gymnastics, like it's a, let's do, um, golf a support. Yeah. I think, I mean, I guess it is. Tom Daly wants a word. I think golf's a sport. Tom Daly's clear. That's the best athletes. I don't know what we're talking about anymore.

It's John Daly. I abide by the Patrice O'Neill School of sports, where unless your opponent can impede you in the middle of your activity, it's not a sport. And so like golf would be a very athletic activity, ultramarathon running, very athletic activity. A competitive game. Is air hockey a sport?

I guess so, because your opponent can stop. you. Oh, but not billions. Your opponent can stop you in billions. Yeah, I don't, I think Patrice didn't know a lot about sports or insulin regulation. He certainly didn't know a lot about insulin regulation. Yeah, that guy, that guy had low blood sugar when he made that statement. Sports are I don't think he ever done with more athletic sugar and that was the problem. I think sports or anything where like being more athletically skilled gives you an edge. Oh, and that's a long Well, then we're back to Marathon being a sport again.

Oh, e-sports, yeah. They call them the effort. I mean, I didn't make up the term e-sports. I thought you meant marathon a video game. No, no,

I'm talking about the long-distance running. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, under that definition, sure. This is the second debate I've won in like 10 minutes. I'm crushing you. You were like, you're trying to. Woody is rolling.

You're trying to make distance running into my, like, thing about, like, which sports, which athletes have the highest, like, He slipped. Right? I said marathon runners, is that better cardio? And you're like,

well, that's not a sport. Until 10 minutes later, you're like, well, that's not a sport. Okay, here we go.

Of course, it's a sport. They make shoes for it. I know it's a sport. What I'm saying is like, when I say sport, when I colloquially say sport, I mean baseball,

football, soccer, the sports where there's balls and sticks and we're running around doing shit against each other and with each other. Even golf, I suppose, as a sport, like, I don't think Tiger Woods would have been nearly as good if he'd had a big pot belly and he smoked Marlboro Reds on the course. I think the fact that he was jacked and spent all that time on his body and, like, getting in good shape, mate gave him a huge edge.

Is skiing a sport? Yeah, sure. Got to be. Especially, like, if you're doing like some sort of Olympic ski thing, like the decathlon or, or, or. like even the long jump or whatever you call it when you do the ski long jump thing. Yeah, it's the borderlines I get it like is figure skating a sport. Well, it's an Olympic sport, right? So definitely yes.

Okay. Well, what about the cheerleading thing, which is basically the same? Oh, well, shit. I never thought that was a... Interpretive dance. Right? I don't like it as much when judges put scores on things, but somehow gymnastics is clearly a sport and cheerleading is on the edge to me.

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something like that, that it really does work. It's incredibly effective. Great value for the price. You're going to be busted like a man on your first bottle. Obviously our merch shop down below where you get all our stickers and hoodies and shirts and good stuff like that and uh and the patron patron also listed down there below you want to send us questions we're letting those pile up we'll answer those you know in a go we like to cherry pick the good ones um or you want to join us in our fifty dollar a month patron hangouts where we hang out with you for like i mean it's like six hours or something by the time it's all said and done shooting the shit asking questions playing video games screaming at people would he always find somebody to scream at it's wonderful actually

you didn't scream me by this week. I was going to say, I'm not sure I had any real victims. I almost took sympathy on a guy. We were playing code words, and the guy gave clues for the other team. And he's like, please don't guess. I was nearly ready to jump in and be co-spymaster with him. And then I thought it would be unfair to 2V1, the other spy master, and just didn't say anything. But yeah, yeah, I managed to let some really silly behavior slide.

We play geogessor in there sometimes, too, unfortunately. We are so bad. if you're average at that game you might dominate the PGA hang out it's almost astounding how bad the whole group is someone mentioned that you could replace Geo-guessor with us like guessing a random number yeah and it would be a similar game just like we're gonna play dice roll I want to do I

I don't like how locked in I have to be like it if I had more time to look than the game would move too slowly. But as it is, I'm always like in a near panic trying to guess where in the world the location is. I have to lock it is hard.

I hate it. You guys ever play the ranked mode on GeoGessor? No. No. Oh, I love Geogessor and I've been playing the ranked mode lately and like going against other people. And like as soon as the other person guesses if they guess before you, it starts like a 15 second timer where you have to guess.

or else like you don't get any points for the round. And it's honestly probably the most fun I've had on a browser game like ever. It's insane. But there's hackers on it. Like there's I don't know how they do it. I don't know what like you have to get. I imagine some AI shit. You know,

like to have like chat GPT seen the screen and being like this is where this is. Give us some pro tips that will help us suck less. I'm hoping our patrons are watching. Like I'm, I'm Bronwyn. The hemisphere thing or like. I'm bronze ranked. So, you know, I don't get, don't ask me for many tips.

Is that the lowest rank? Is there no copper? I don't know. I just started playing it. But my win rate, I have like a 65% win rate. I'm doing pretty good. Nice. Last time you told me you played CSGO pretty well.

Yes, I still play that. Do you play Rainbow Six at all? I used to play a lot of siege. I don't play anymore. When I was a kid, I loved Vegas too. Okay. I just got into Seed. and I was hoping you were a player.

I suck. I have 100 hours, and that game is very difficult to learn. Yep. Because you just get your head blown off in like one millisecond from a hole in the wall that you can't see. Yes.

Yes. So you have to be aware of where holes might be as you like jump through windows and every death is a learning experience, but I think I need another million of those. And I also, like I want to be the guy that pokes the hole. but that seemed kind of rare.

I had a game today. I played well, not super well. I went five and one, right? Which I do every once in a while, but it's a special moment for me. And not only did I win the game, not only did I clutch a round, but the best player who led the game set me a friend request. I made my first rainbow friend. And I'm hoping that he could help me get better because I need help. But it happened today.

And I even told my wife, she's like, you made a friend that's so nice. It was a huge win for me. So Chris with a Z. Thanks, bro. I'll hit you up. I used to play a lot of siege, but I feel like nowadays there's too many operators.

Like I don't know who to play or what the meta is anymore and I'm like overwhelmed by it. Me too. Yeah. So people don't know. There's about 80 different operators or heroes you could play.

And smarter players than me will look at like what the enemy team's bringing and rock paper scissors it. Like, oh, they're bringing a thermite. So we need to make sure we've got a guy who can electrify the walls so he can't bus through. And I just bring the one that has a gun that clicks with me or a utility that I know how to use effectively like Azori. I could go on. I don't think everyone wants to hear about this too long.

But this game has captured my passion lately. And it is really hard to be good at it. And it's an old game. Like I think they rewrote it like two years ago. But the bones of it are from like 11 years. So it's almost like learning to play chess where there are guys out there who just have been honing their skills. I'm in this lobby and your name has like badges you can earn. And these badges say like 2017 on them.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm about. I hope he's not gay because I'm going to get my shit pushed in if he wants to. Yeah, I just see people out there who are subject matter experts and I'm new. And it's like Tarkov. where I think if you have a thousand hours, yeah, big deal. That's not a ton. There are people who still know a lot more than you

with 10,000 hours. Yep. And I have 100. Goblin, I'm curious about your geogessor. Are you to the point that you know bollards? No. Do you know hemispheres? I, I,

so the way that I play geogessor when I'm trying to guess a location is, like honestly cars and like the shape of the roads is the easiest way to do it if it's a dirt road i'm going africa right like immediately if we're on a dirt road that's like tropical and it looks sketchy i'm going africa um the usually like finland and germany and that like you know that kind of region of the world is like really easily recognizable because of the kind of cars they have and like the villages will have these little like stone roads and shit you know my catch but um like i don't really i could never guess like what part of the world we're in i'll just

throw out a couple countries and then like i'll usually i'll play when i'm streaming and i do better when i'm streaming because obviously chats there to you know throw ideas out but when i'm not streaming i just i go entirely on cars and roads you know if i've seen a lot of mercedes and BMW i'm going germany you know that's kind of a rule of anytime i see a lot of forest and they have those European roofs. I just go France every time. It seems to work. I fell up. I've traveled a lot.

So sometimes I'll like see a bunch of buildings and be like, oh, this is just like Spain. I know this one. And then it's chilly and I'm so far off. And it's almost like seeing places works against me sometimes. There's nothing worse than when you're like, that was a good one. And then the map does that fast zoom out to show you at your. a, you know, 3,000 miles away. The other one that gets me is it's like,

ooh, I nailed it. I know this was good. And then it was good. And then what happens? Everybody else's was good too, right? There's 20 other people who were as good or better than I was. And it's like, fuck, just when I thought I'd make up ground on everybody. No.

I always pick South Africa when it's Australia. Oh, I can see that. because they're similar enough. It's a fun little game. I like it. I also like that it's entirely random who wins. Like there's no one is good at that game. Actually, there was one guy in our hangout who was.

No one in our hangout is good, Goblin. Okay. I was about to say. Being a little, maybe cheedy. I think there was a cheater. Oh, yeah. It's always a cheater. It's always a cheater.

Does his name start with B and end with Umi? I don't know. There is no fucking way you knew the neighborhood in Slovenia. There's just no possibility. Every so often it would be like a street sign. And some street sign that's missing vowels to me implies like roughly Baltics, right? Is that what the other things that used to be Russian? but then the guy gets it to the neighborhood

and you're like I think he Googled that intersection Yeah Yeah there's definitely cheaters I don't like playing any game like that that you can cheat at That's why we can't play Tribal Pursuit anymore You know, it's almost cheating everything nowadays It's pretty hard to cheat at code names Like you would have to like really cheat

Where like your clue giver is just messaging a teammate going Yeah the word is orange. Like you literally have to just straight up cheat. You know what I've done? It's not exactly cheating, but I've spell checked. I didn't want to embarrass myself publicly in front of everybody.

No, there's nothing wrong with that. Because sometimes people fucking misspell the word and it's like, what did he even mean? Yeah. He missedpelled stew one time. Cancruiser? Yeah. I knew who we meant.

There's a four-letter one. word. He misspels four letter words. How did he spell it? Do you recall? He might have used a U or an E or something and it was like Stu. It was like so off that it was like maybe he meant stud and he hit the wrong key or like because horse is there

and you could it was an anti clue. It was like well let's just skip. Let's skip and hope that he figures out to spell it next round. Like like and I always say like, man, misspelling something in the 21st century is inexcusable. Every device that you're interacting with has Insta spell check. Like, it's not even like you have to hit enter.

You just start writing it into the fucking bar in the top, and it's going to give you the right spelling. It's, I like code names because there aren't any cheaters, and there is a clear division of skill. Like, there are people who are just garbage at it, and there are people that are pretty good at it. Experience helps. I think I went from well below average to above average over time. For sure. I almost appreciate the typos and misspellings because that is the clearest evidence that someone is not cheating. Like when Cancruiser sends out drapping as a clue, when he meant draping, he put multiple peas in the word. I know that guy's on the up and up. He's certainly not.

He's dyslexic. We're literally playing a word game and we've chosen a dyslexic man who abuses hard drugs to be like the guy who comes up with the clues. It's a real wildcard. In my heart, Cancrrrusher went from just one of the people there to one of my favorite people. Oh, he's always been one of my favorites. He's a bizarre guy. Like you'll see him doing like Walter White drug lab shit in his kitchen making like, LSD by hand or whatever he was making. And then you'll also see him like cranking out

weighted dips with like a hundred pounds on it, you know. He's an enormous. And he'd be a fighting warrior or something like that. Yeah, he looks like he should be on a battlefield, swinging an axe. And he's unflappable. Like, you always rip on the clue giver who does a poor job. And he's the only person that never jumps to his own defense after he does a poor job. clue giving. You'll be like, you fucking idiot and he'll be like, I'm thinking about getting dominoes later. And it's like, man, he's got something called a meat

sauce. Just can't be bothered. Doesn't. I mean, in his moisturized, thriving. That's I'm thinking goblin. If you were to describe the food that is your weakness, what would it be? Oh, fuck.

real like Midwestern breakfast like skillets and stuff like that you know like those like biscuits and gravy with like like a breakfast skillet over it you know like a little like potatoes bacon that kind of yeah there was some real like

oh this is some unbelievable fat fuck stuff but like okay hell yeah so I was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago northern Illinois and like grew up at the Midwestern breakfast. But eventually when I was 20, my parents threw me out of the house. My mom did. And my dad wouldn't take me either. And I moved a few hours south to the Springfield, which was the capital. And the town's a complete shithole. Like, it is the worst place I've ever

lived by far. But everything's really cheap and everything's like, it's just it's one of those towns where everything's a little grimy, you know? And there's like the one pocket where all the, you know, the senators live and all the people who work in the capital and then everything else is gross. But there was this one tradition they had there. It was called a horseshoe. And it's this breakfast where they create just like it's probably 4,000 calories

on the low end, genuinely. But it's a base of like bread. So like maybe you get a, I don't know, like a biscuit or you get like sourdough toast or something like that. And then they put hash brown and then they put your meat. I'd usually get ham, you know, on the occasions where I'd get this. And then the entire top of it, they dowsen cheese. Like the whole thing, they'll put cheese on the top of it. And there was actually, Guy Fieri did an episode at a diner about these. It's yes, yes. And a lot of people get like half and half. You get the gravy and the cheese on it. And it's completely disgusting. It's like just it's real like 5,000 calories. Breakfast. But it's unbelievable. I wouldn't. It's so good.

It's incredible. It is so good. Waffle House will do this. You just, you know, Waffle House has everything with that. Yeah, yeah. They do like a dozen different toppings for the hash browns.

And I've done like cheese and gravy and jalapinos before. That's more like the lunch version of it. Yeah. Neither of these look appetizing me. So the lunch version is crazy. They do like an open face burger with fries and cheese sauce over it. Like Taylor is salts. I'm sugars.

goblins fats Kyle what would your food your culinary weakness be I really like french fries and ketchup like good french fries with ketchup I could just eat like a whole sack of those things what cut

what cut a fry I'm gonna I'm gonna I like them thick as thick as possible like I like potato wedges I like Taylor's getting close my man doesn't stop Kyle don't stop can you whisper

like I think I think that the worst fry is the shoe string is the shoe string fry. Now, if you go far enough, if you go far enough in that direction and you get to hash browns, you've come almost, you've come full circle and you're right about around next to wedges again on the other side of the planet. And I'm into that big time. I love Waffle House hash browns, like just douse them with ketchup, cheese, cheese, jalapinos, ketchup. I could eat like a triple hash brown. and just make that a whole meal.

Anything. Love hash browns. I don't think steak fries are the pinnacle of fries, though. They are for me. There is a middle ground between the, you're correct. The shoestring fries stink. Go cold instantly. Yeah, shoe string suck.

And then you have the steak fries, which aren't even really fries. It's just a potato wedge. Like you just have normal sized fries, not crinkle fries. Get the fuck out of here with the crinkle fries. Whoa, okay. Wow. What? Crinkle fries are great.

They're, I mean, there's still fries. I'm going to eat them. But they're not in the world of best fries. The best size, like McDonald's has the science down for the size of fries. 100%. Yeah, for on the go fries, you know. But if we're talking like you're at home and you're heating up like frozen fries, Crinkle dominates that category.

Okay, at home fries, you're correct. Yeah, because you can leave them in the oven a little longer. It's rare to get a good crinkle fry out at a restaurant. I've only gotten it once at a diner. But when I did, it was incredible. And it was an option they had on the menu. It was like you can get crinkle or you can get the head curly too, which I feel like Arby's curly fries deserve a shout.

Yeah. 100%. I love a curly fry. I don't know the science behind it. I like a bindi fry. I like lots of potato matter inside the fry. Sometimes you get these fries and it's like, there's nothing in here.

Like it's just a fry shell with like a void in the middle. That's disgusting to me. That's a shoe string. I cook like 95% of my meals. And when I do make French fries, I use this recipe. It's like the world's best French fries, like Michelin Star French fries.

And they're like boiled in water. and then you cut them with an apple core, so they're like cigar shaped, and then they're triple fried and duck fat, and it's a whole process. Those are the best products. It looks like they're also dusted in either flour or cornmeal to get that extra crisp. Ooh. You might, I don't. I don't do cornmeal or anything like that, or corn starch, probably, whatever they're doing.

I do boil them, though. You get kind of a craggy surface on the outside that gets created by. that like roughed up texture on the outside before you fry them. But it's a long process. It takes a couple of hours because you got to let them cool over and over. And ideally you're soaking them in like vinegar water for a while and then you're freezing them for a while. It's a whole thing. Freeze them?

Yeah. It ruptures all the little water filled cells inside of the potato. Yeah. Yeah. Makes them better. This is an insane way to make French fries. They should be such a high. food. It's literally like

Michelin Star. That's the link I's in is like Michelin Star French fries. Like the best Yeah, I watched it for four seconds. They look like time stamped it. So those look crinkly at three minutes and 30 seconds. Those are crinkly. He's doing like a variety of fries and they're like contrasting and compare it. They look like good crinkle fries. Yeah, they're hand cut crinkle fries. Yeah.

Damn, I might have to go get some fries after this. Wow. I'll have a soft pretzel waiting for me. But anything like that, I really like, like, like, I've been, I do these smash burger tacos where like I take the ground beef and I put it in a plastic bag with a bunch of taco seasoning and let mush it all together and let that like seep into the meat. And then I do a classic smash burger where I smush it onto the grill. But then when I flip it, I put cheese on top and then a tortilla. And then once the bottom is cooked, I flip it again and I fry the tortilla in the beef fat and then fold it. it into a taco and it's

so amazing. So there's no bun? It's a tortilla. It's a taco. Hmm. I don't like that. It's delicious. The corn tortilla gets all like crunchy and crispy from being fried in the beef fat and you fold it over just right with your spatula so that it like

it goes into like a taco a crunch taco like it goes from a soft taco to a crunchy taco like while you're cooking it. And it's got I make a jalapino sauce. You ever have like the chicken cassidia at Taco Bell? You know that creamy jalapeno sauce that's on it? Yeah, not great.

It's an amazing sauce and I make it at home. It's like equal parts mayonnaise and sour cream. And then you add basically taco seasoning. And then there's like three tablespoons of jalapinos and three tablespoons of jalapeno brine and then you blitz it all and leave it in the fridge overnight. And you've got creamy jalapeno sauce for your tacos and stuff. I put that on there and then just cheese. I don't know about your burger takes because you're,

aren't you also notoriously anti-tomate? You don't like a nice tomato slice on there? It has to be, the reason I'm anti-tomato is because there aren't good tomatoes in our world anymore for the average consumer. You have to, like, if I were to, if I were going to make, or they don't taste. If I were going to make a nice burger, like,

and I was going to try as hard as I could, my potatoes are going to cost me like $8. Like I'm going to have, like, I'm going to be so close to five guys by the time I'm done that I've wasted my fucking time. So I don't even buy tomatoes. Tomatoes are too expensive. Like, tomatoes are too expensive to, to, to buy for what they are. Like, I'm buying, like, a pound of tomatoes to have one slice of tomato on one hamburger. And it's like, it's not worth $8 for having a slice of tomato on this burger.

Disagree. I'd rather do something wacky. Like, like, there's a restaurant here called, like, Bat burger or something like that. Something that they're not, they're not like dancing around what they're about. And they do like macaroni and cheese patties. They'll take like macaroni and cheese and they'll form it into like a patty.

And then they'll batter it and fry that. And then they'll put that on the burger. So you've got a cheesy frozen or cheesy fried macaron like thing in your bird. It sounds like far from God's light. They'll also take like four mozzarella sticks and they'll put that on the burger. They take the burger and then they put four mozzarella sticks side by side by side on top of it. This is epic meal time shit. This is ridiculous.

I don't order it, but I see it on their menu. I just get a burger if I'm going to go to that place. But like they do wacky stuff, like all sorts of things you can add. How do you feel about smash burgers? That's the way to go. smash burgers. I've seen a lot of smash burger maligning on the internet recently and it's because these

fucking idiots think that you put one paddy on it. They're like this is a real burger. It's like, no, smash burgers always have like three or four patties. Yes. That's why they're so little. Minimum two. Minimum two. Yeah. And that's why they have that nice, delicious, crispy edge. It's good. Yeah. And you don't have to

smash them that hard. Like, I see I've seen people on the internet shitting on the smash burger, but when I watch the video they're shitting on, it's like, bro, You smooke that fucker's so flat. It became burger's skin. Like it's just like it's not, there's no substance to what you've done. I've got the, I've got the big griddle, like a big flat iron thing that I put on the stove.

And then I've got the, you know, the smash burger smasher thing. I love smash burgers. It's the only way I would eat a hamburger. I don't eat hamburgers much at all. I had one recently, but I probably had one in the last three years. They're pretty healthy for you. Oh my God. Could do.

If you look at the macros of a hamburger, like, if you took it apart and ate it that way, you'd be like, oh, health food, lean ground beef. Like, as long as you don't slather it with mayonnaise and ketchup. My wife and I got colonoscopies. And she's like doing her prep. And she's so unhappy. She's just suffering and, you know, running in out of bed. It's just awful. And I was like, should we get cookout tomorrow?

And that was what she needed to power through. She's fasting and pooping. It's all terrible. She woke up from her anesthesia. She's like, are we really getting cook out? I was like, yeah, baby. No. You're talking like a guy who was just like grievously wounded in World War II.

We're all of us together. We're going to get out of here, aren't we? Yeah, yeah, we are. We're going to get out of here. I'll cook for us again. Of course. I do this was like

within the last couple weeks I ordered so much at Culvers that I felt like I had to pretend that I was bringing this home to other people yeah and that

it was humiliating yeah they put like eight forks in there they think it was a family yeah and it's like no there's no family it's just a way to be smooth about it is you got to like

pull up your phone pull up some random my messages you know make it look like you're reading off someone's order. You've seen that key and pill bit, right? I need the double melt, and then I also got a full order. I got two full meals, so two things of fries. I got the full double melt, and then I also got a full order of chicken tendies. That's $30 worth of Culvers, dude.

It was. I get it with Culvers, though. And I like, I'm like, okay next time i peed like i looked at myself in the mirror and i was like what the fuck is wrong with you you ever see the key in the field bit that's exactly that it's a it's an obese guy ordering pizza he's he's like he's like yeah as he's ordering he's like and uh two cheese large extra cheese actually and uh hey mike you guys want pepper you know what yeah make it two cheese and two pepperoni.

What's that? Cheesy sticks? There's nobody there. He's just talking to all these imaginary people. It just goes down a whole rabbit hole where the guy at the pizza shop is interested in one of the girls he mentioned that happens to be at the party. What's her name? Becca. It's like, oh, tell me about Rebecca.

Well, I don't know. She's kind of an end it, gal. She loves sweet lovers. Yeah. That's how I am when I get food delivered. I've got the home alone. placards on a rail, you know, partying inside the house behind the curtain. To make sure they don't know it's just me.

Which is a shameful thing. I can't believe you. That's $30 worth of Culver's easy. Culver's is expensive. Those are $16 hamburgers. Yeah. Culver's rocks. But it's a butterburger.

As far as fast food, yeah, the butterburger. You're from Illinois. You know Colvin. Yeah, I get it. Oh, precious butter. They added that. Wow. I used to eat so many.

those fucking cheese curds, I get it. You know, the cheese curds are solid. See, you don't know your local place is fucking Zaxpies, which gets blown the fuck out. Zachspies has cheese curds. No, they're not no. You don't like the fried

cheese bites at Zaxby's with the marinera? But you haven't had the culver's cheese curds. I've had them. It's fried balls of cheese. It's not gourmand. It's not gourmand. No, but there's Calvers is close to it. Culver's just has the burgers though, right?

Like, I don't know. I prefer Zachs-Bosies to Culvers because I don't like burgers that much. And I don't like restaurant French fries that much. They've got the butterburger cheese curd and then you get a little vanilla custard at the end. Yeah, the custody is. I haven't known a food for so long. What the fuck is it boiled cheese? What did you say a butterburger?

I don't know what that is. You can figure it out. I don't know what a hamburger made of macaroni and cheese. I haven't been keeping a butter. up with this for so fucking long. I don't know. Behind the times, man. We did the 21st century over here.

You go outsiders or weirdos. Butter burgers are the best. Imagine a cheeseburger, but where someone gets aggressive with butter. The whole thing's like dunked in liquid butter it feels like. It's just. Is it worth it though? Like everyone does this calculus

of like calories versus enjoyment. If you're eating in culvers, you're not counting calories. It's a Midwestern burger joint. They literally do fried cheese curds. That's one of their main things. What is a curd? A cheese curd? Is this a ball of cheese?

I guess. So it's a shape of cheese. It's kind of like rough little, they look a little cheese asteroids. They're like roughly shaped. They're not round little perfect balls. Cheese meatballs. Yeah, a little bit, but they're smaller than a traditional meatball. They're not formed very

well. They batter them and then they deep fry them and then it's it's like it's like midwestern mozzarella sticks basically but bite size and you know there's usually a dip for them and stuff they're really okay i know it sounds like a round a round mozzarella stick sure yeah but i don't think they use mozzarella they use some sort of some other kind of cheese but it is a mild cheese it's similar yeah it's a mild chad yeah delicious terrible i don't know these foods i on your next motorcycle trip you're eating the 1900s buddy the Culver's. I mean,

I have nothing but a hard tack, really. That's so good. I mean, you can tell Culver's isn't good for you by, like, walking into one and being like, this is like a fucking zoo exhibit. The sort of people who are here, which, you want small, medium, large, or trough? Trough? Yeah, we too. Beckins to the troves over by the corner.

It's the only fast food place that beats the pants off of Chick-fil-A. You're insane. Nothing beats Chick-fil-A. Nothing beats Chick-fil-A. You're like seven hours away from McCulliver's. You don't know what you're missing. I'm seven minutes from McCull-F. I'm like showing an iPhone to a Sentinel-Li-I-I-Land-person right now.

No true Scottsman. You're going to live in a third world country? I'm in fucking Atlanta. That's not a real cul-vors. No-truth. Culver's. I've had Colvers plenty of times. It's good. It's way better than Burger King or McDonald's or anything like that. And it verges upon five guys territory with their burgers honestly. It really does. It's good. Better than five guys. I do think nothing's better than five guys when it comes to a burger. They're just better. Dude, every time I get a burger at five guys, it looks like they were mad at it beforehand and like threw it on the ground and pushed it down. Yeah.

Smashed the bun. I like that though. It feels like that. It's a nice round bun covered in butter. It's a fast food bun, that's why. But it's covered in butter. I can't argue to cover something in butter. That does make it infinitely better. Culver's employees are similar to the Chick-fil-A employees in like the My Pleasure. Thank you so much.

You go to a McDonald's and like a guy who just killed someone is giving you change with the dirtiest fingernails you've ever seen. And then you go to Culver's and it's some nice lady who's like. My pleasure. Perfect. That's what you want. I like that. I like that the people look clean in there because sometimes you go a place and you're like, man, y'all are sweaty. Like this is not a good look. Your uniform is stained. Like there are, y'all look nasty in there. I don't think I want this anymore. It's like I saw you smoking by the dumpster two seconds ago. I'd be okay with that. You know, guys staying on his, saying on his game, burning a few six.

I don't eat KFC because I find like every time I've looked at who works at KFC I'm just like no no you may not prepare my food I don't eat KFC because it's impossible to eat while driving you got a bowl wait what they got them bowl yeah yeah they got the mashed potato take mashed potatoes as your face and then you just add everything that chick filet makes on top of it there's corn in there there's chicken nuggets and shit we said KFC KFC. Okay, you all saw he slipped in Chick-fil-A on us, right? Oh, did I say Chick-fil-A? KFC. I'm already having a hard time keeping up with these imaginary foods and curds and shit. We got a little bit of mushrooms over here. You can eat fried chicken driving.

You just need to knee drive for a little bit. It's the spilling. Like I feel like the crispy stuff that's all over KFC, the skin, whatever, it ends up in my lap. Use your car bib. That's my mistake. I should have to go. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah.

I have a child's bib, one of those like latex ones that like scoops out. Yeah. It's not even fabric. I can read my spilled breading. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to. I can't believe you don't like the creamy jalapeno sauce from Taco Bell.

That shit's delicious. It's not hot enough. Oh, I like that shit a lot. They sell packets of hot sauce. I get Diablo when I go. That's too much. That's all smoky and nasty tasting. It's no good.

I buy that sauce. I buy that sauce in the bottle. I've got like a, I get bottles of the fire sauce for when I. Fire is really good. Yeah. Fire is really good. I never eat at Taco Bell either.

Is it still blue and pink inside? No. God, no. It's probably been 15 years since it's been. It's probably been 15 years since I think Taco Bell. The last time I've been in a Taco Bell, they still had that thing where you could put a quarter in and hope it landed on the little platform. Oh my God.

You want tacos if you got it. That thing is dope, but I like the circle that takes forever to go down, the funnel. Oh, yeah. That's not, that's more of a mall thing. Taco Bell used to be pretty good, but it's really fallen by the wayside. And it's, it's expensive now. Like, a chicken cassidia is like $8 or something. Like a bean burrito is $3, like the cheapest thing they make.

The nachos bell grande is like $7.50. The Mexican pizza is like $8. Yeah, it's absurd now. You used to be able to show up with $5 and you're out of that. I used to get the bag. You could get like a box of tacos. I think it was 10. And you could like mix and match.

Zach, show me a new one. I want to know what Taco Bell looks like today. Oh, it's derelict. depressing. Yeah, corporatized. Yeah, you don't want to go inside anymore. The lobby's closed half the time anyways. They close. Ever since COVID, ever since COVID, a lot of the, especially out here in California, probably just because there's tweakers trying to come inside and, you know, not out in the bathroom, they'll just close the whole lobby, like all day. They're not just respectable

drugies like us. Yeah. What are you thinking? This is awful. Yes. Is that really what they look like? Is that like normal? soulless or did he find a weird one i haven't been in a taco bell if i'm gonna get taco but look if i've if i'm degenerate enough that i'm gonna get a nachos belgronde i'm not bothering to go out and get it myself like somebody's bringing that to me and if i am i'm in the drive-thru at 2 a.m and like i'm drunk driving you know that's a terrible food to have delivered Taco Bell? Like you need that fresh. It's not a pizza. I don't know where you live. I don't know where you live. But where I live, I'm moments away from restaurants and stuff. Like I'm in a large city. I'm not in some hammer, killer ridden hellhole in the Midwest. I'm in the peach state. Okay. And here in Atlanta, when you order something, it gets here in five to eight minutes. It's steaming hot.

Yeah, that's that's nostalgia right there. That's nostalgia right there. Like you don't want it all soaked in and gross. Like, is this a true? Is this a true? Taco Bell? I know my Taco Bell, Taylor. Okay, you're not going to convince it. I haven't been inside a taco bill in so long. The tacos, they definitely have like a really short life. Like, they'll stick to the paper. And like, when you open the paper, it tears the taco apart. But I get naches by Grande and I get Mexican pizza. Those are hard shell tacos are different now, dude, because of the shell. They get soggy. They're disgusting. It's a different shell. That meat was always disgusting. And, but the chicken used to be good. I would get the chicken grill. stuff burrito and it was like this is not as good as Chip Chipotle but it costs $5. Like it's half as much or a third as much like

this is a good value and it was big and now it's the chicken there is like chewy and grisly and so I tried the steak and the steak was so salty I spat it out Yeah fuck all and then the ground beef like I don't think they can call it ground beef in Europe

like there's not enough there's not enough beef in the ground beef A lot of sawdust. Yeah, there's like some sort of vegetable filler or corn filler or something in there. And it's like, what am I? Like a pig that you're, this sounds like what we do livestock back in the day. Yes. When you're in the drive-thill at Taco Bell, you're a pig.

Yeah. And you are lining up for the trough. That's fair. They don't have many healthy options either. I think they do bowls now, but who's doing that? Who's going to Taco Bell for a canteeno bowl? The worst thing about Taco Bell is their raw ingredients. I can't imagine just eating a bowl full of it.

You know, you got to load it out with sauce and like wrap it in something. Yeah, I like, I do like just the bean burrito. Like, I like the bean burrito from there too. But it's just so expensive that sometimes I'll do the calculus. It's not the child math that's involved with the cost benefit analysis of the calculus. The calculus. I'm talking, talking about estimating the cost of your taco bowl. The child's math of saying like $22 for like three tacos and a drink.

I'm just going to cook again. I'm just going to cook. It's so much better when I cook anyway, obviously. Restaurant price is going wild. The cookout I got for Jackie from the story, three people, Colin Jackie and I got meals. How much do you think it was? Okay. I'm going to say you averaged $14 a person.

That's a lot at cookout too. I'm going to say you spent $45. bucks. I'm going to say 44. I'm going lower. I'm going, I'd go like 35.

82. What? Oh, you got milkshel. How did you eat? Did y'all get milkshakes? Yep. I didn't count. Okay.

Then you add another $25 for milkshakes. Oh. $82. Did any cookout that's unbelievable. Something ridiculous? Or was it? No, it's basically burgers and milkshakes. And, you know,

I guess the little meal thing came with two sides. So like hash browns and fries or something. That's upsettingly expensive. Yeah. Rip off. I won't do that for fast food. It's just like, no, I'm just going to go, I can go get some nice ribbyes for 80 bucks. That's the thing to me with the last few years with things increasing in price so much, it's beef.

Beef is the number one thing that it's like, man. and gas. Yeah. Yeah, but we don't drive that much. So it's not that much of an issue. But with like beef, I used to eat steaks three or four nights a week. I really like getting like nice tenderloin or a rib eye or something. And it's just not worth the price that it costs.

I'm going to, I keep looking at buying a whole cow, like a slaughtered cow. And I don't pull the trigger. But I'm going to because it's fairly cheap. Like you get the whole. I think the, if you get a whole cow, the average price per pound, obviously you get some hamburger, some steaks, all sorts of stuff. But it's like 550 a pound, like across the board. And you end up with several hundred pounds of cow. Yeah, it's like a year of meat. Kyle's like, we don't drive that much. Now, I don't remember when I put the gas in my truck, but I know this for sure. It wasn't 2026.

you've got like a walking dead truck that's just just sitting out there full of you know potentially rancid gas yeah it works I went to the pool place yesterday actually to get chemicals and stuff but uh I just don't drive very much now in fairness we take Jackie's car like when I did the Mr. Beast thing we took Jackie's car but uh yeah I just don't

drive that much yeah I don't either yeah I guess I drive a decent amount normal amount yeah it's July I haven't broadcast this year that's I can't imagine that

we're halfway through the year like where would he go like where would he go fucking that place with the salsa he likes can't play rainbow six there what do you think it's trying to get good No, like if you don't have a job to commute too There's really no reason to drive anywhere

When everything gets delivered to your house You know already And you've got hobbies and stuff I don't drive very much at all It's more expensive to have all the shit delivered though Than just going to the store Yeah, but what's your time worth, right? You know, I can play Rainbow

While it's being delivered and brought to me I still maintain that when you use The rewards credit cards That come along with things like DoorDash and Instacart It's not that much more expensive Goblin, do you have immigrants deliver every good and service to you? Or do you just go to the story? Very often.

But I get out. You know, I definitely drive around and do my thing. I mean, I live in like pretty central part of L.A. so like I kind of get out and do whatever, you know, but here it's nice.

It's not bad here, but I just got back from Phoenix last week and like I wanted to die. But here it's like not bad. It's probably like 80. I haven't even been outside. A dry 80 is not too bad. It's insanity here in Georgia. It's insanity.

When you walk outside, you instantly sweat. Like when I let the dogs out, I'm like closing the door behind them like it's an air hatch in a spaceship or something like that because I can feel money pouring out the door. It is so hot and humid. I showed the 10-day forecast in the WhatsApp and it's like high 80s and mid-90s for the next 10 days with maximum humidity with thunderstorm. sprinkled in. How cold is it inside, Kyle? 67.

Yeah. Especially at nighttime, we keep it so cold in my house. I'm like, am I paying extra to keep it uncomfortable? Like, this is a little too much. Yeah, I sleep better when I'm cold. I keep it so cold. My girlfriend has a heated mattress topper that she turns on. She just let the AC The heated blanket battle Yeah Yeah Because I want the whole house

And you know I got like my My dog Toby's got like thick fur And like I want him to be comfortable It's time to cut his hair again But like I don't want the dog's panting inside My pomerane is a little puffy fucker So I want it nice and cold I always want it 67 68

It My dad Growing up my dad kept at 72 And last time I went over there It was it was on 70 and I was like, dad, we've got to lower this down. This is too much. 70. 70. What do we do it? What do we do? We're scrimping and saving here. We can afford 68. Let's do this. He's like, yeah, I don't care. Do what you all. I can't take it. I'm sweating at 70 degrees.

Yeah, that's no fun. I'm at 68 right now, I think. Today, like overseeing some, some work. And the, I had to turn the HVAC off. What kind of work. and apiary work yes apiary work was there a crane there he has to harvest the honey

so it doesn't spoil the floorboards two days ago when Tuesday morning this happened I had to turn off my HVAC system and so I had to sit there all day

and it was over 90 degrees in my house and it's thick as fuck here were you worried the HVAC quite sure it out? I mean, won't say, but is there an open space between the inside and the outside?

Like an explosion? Yeah. Would you say there's a separation between indoors and outdoors in your house? Yeah, the doors. Okay, okay. Or all the wall standing. I've been advised to Taylor said

I'm still now I'm kind of back to like someone ramming into your house with a vehicle that or like my favorite home disaster is water heater So much less fun than your theories Water heater explosions Have you seen when a water

Or leave the oven on? No No Smokers. Like somebody like to smoke on the burner? Yeah. Yeah, I've been like a cigarette smoker in an oven that wasn't lit, you know. Yeah.

You ever see a water heater explode through a roof? I don't think so. I didn't even make that sound. So they have this like release valve at the bottom where if the pressure gets too high, it like spills out the bottom or whatever, but that can get rusted up and fail. And so it just builds and builds and builds. And when it explodes, the bottom comes out. So it's this big steel cylinder of boiling steam and water.

and the bottom comes out and the whole top rockets through the roof of the house. Like that water rocket toy from childhood? Yes, except your home is now destroyed. That would be a negative. Taylor, does this ring a bell? It does not. It would be funnier if you're like, I've been advised not to answer. Sorry, I missed an opportunity.

Yeah, but I was just sweating at my house all day. because the indoor and outdoor temperatures were the same for some reason, okay. I'm worried the outside is now the inside or something. That's kind of what he implied. But what I think, Woody, is that I've really put my finger on it since he had to turn the HVAC off. It's because there's water.

There's water near electricity and those two don't make so the HVAC has to be turned off. That's what's going on here. This is a water situation, which is wild because this is like your third, no, this is like your fourth catastrophic flood in your lifetime. Because I'm counting the Pokemon car disaster. Do you remember when Taylor went through contractor after contractor finding the lowest bidder? I remember. Yeah. Yeah.

You really chewed them down into a disaster, huh? I wish I could elucidate. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that if we're counting floods that happened at my parents' house when I was like in college, yes, that would be the first one where all of my Pokemon cards were ruined. Oh, tragic. There could have been, like, everyone look at Pokemon cards now. Like, there could have been something good in there.

I don't actually know. Oh, okay. I was collecting them since like 90, well, not since. That implies a long time. But when I was a little kid, like, I guarantee I had a Charzard in there. Collecting something where you guys. a corporation creating false scarcity is dope behavior to me. That's that's that's that's dopey behavior to me.

I I don't get it. I don't get it at all like sure. I mean you can throw that in there if you want to, but that's a little different than Pokemon cards I think I feel taking advantage of by the by the corporation and then I really dislike what it does to people. I like I don't like that it creates these scalpers and scammers and thieves and these crooked employees,

these people who like, like steal from the machines, these people that, you probably saw that guy on the internet, damaging cards, like just to be a piece of shit. Like he's just in there damaging the cards or whatever. Oh,

he was, I think he was, what he was trying to do was feel them in a damaging way to figure out which ones had the good cards. Looking for foils or something. I don't know either because I'm not, I'm not super into it.

But like, I, I love the idea of of trading card games. Like that's cool, but, but. Oh, like Magic the Gathering. Well, I mean, I like the idea of Magic the Gathering, but what it's become, too, is a bastardized, like,

form of its former self because they're out to make so much money and they sell the IP, they get all those IPs on board that don't mesh with, you know, the core concept of the game. Like, we should all be able to go by like a big, like booster pack and then sit down and play and have fun and that should be what magic is about. It shouldn't be about collecting those fucking bullshit cards

and Eragorn's not black. I don't want your black Erigorn card. True. Wackado shit. That's true. Yeah. I synced him. He's played by a guy named Vigo. Okay? It's, it's

Airborne's not black. And I don't like that they sold the IP to all those different things. Although the idea of 40K like magic gathering is appealing. What I want to know because I'm completely out of the scene

like do people play like the Avengers versus the Ninja Turtles? Uh, I mean those are both card packs that are available. So I would guess that game has happened somewhere. I'm not buying any magic cards while they're doing this horse shit. I don't want to play iron.

Because I could see for example, like I could see for example, like if they were doing the Ninja Turtle card set thing. Like, okay, I'll play the turtles and Splinter and you play Shredder and the Foot Clan or whatever. And you can also have whatever that monster is where he's just like a little brain inside of a guy's chest. I don't remember what that guy's name was. Bring him in there too. And we'll fight those together.

But I don't want to see Captain America beating up Donatello. Like, that seems weird to me. Yeah Are you a magic guy? Not really no I like Pokemon cards a lot when I was a kid And then I got back into him recently So I have a good amount on Pokemon cards now

But You know that's the only one I don't really care for any like sports cards Or like other type of cards Just Pokemon Okay But the market now is kind of nuts Like I a lot of the way I got a lot of my cards was I had a GameStop released this thing.

Have you seen the power packs that they released? I have not. So it's this like digital Pokemon card opening website that's run by GameStop in partnership with PSA, which is the card grading company. And basically you go on there and you open these like mystery boxes of like, you know, random Pokemon cards. And you can also do like other sports like basketball. But I got like really early beta access and do these live streams where I'd like open the packs and like then, you know, I get to keep the card and like still post the clip. So I'd make some of the money back. Dude, the value of all those cards.

And mind you, I was doing this not even a year ago. I was doing this in like September and October. The value of these cards is up so much. I have one card that's worth 15K. Ooh, nice. One, a singular card that I paid $1,000. I opened a thousand. $1,000 mystery pack on my stream,

which is, it's not that GameStop even sells that. They now have it up to $5,000, so I don't open them anymore. But it's like GameStop themselves. It's interesting because they sell the mystery packs, but it's also them pumping the price

of all these cards because they're mass buying all these graded slabs to put in their mystery packs. So like a lot of the growth in the trading card market right now is kind of artificial in that sense. like it's not people that are actually going like dude i want to pay $15,000 for a Pokemon card it's companies that are going like well we buy this and then we put it in a mystery pack that's a thousand dollars and we sell that to 30 people and none of them pull this card because it's you know a 0.001% chance and we just doubled our money on it you know i love

watching people open stuff like this on streams because there's something entertaining about horrific financial decisions yeah you know it actually it worked out pretty well for me thankfully I'm happy for that, but I've watched Peanut Open thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars worth The CSGO crates and it's just like scammed, scammed, scammed, scammed, you know, it's all commons, it's all junk, it's never what he wanted it to be. Sometimes he gets really excited because it like scrolls by

and he goes next to something that he wanted, but I've never seen him get anything good. And it's fun to watch. Yeah, it's easier to watch someone else gamble than Oh, yeah. Yeah, I get half the joy and none of the pain. Yeah. I don't collect anything.

Do you have any plans to sell that 15K card? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I brought it to a card store the other day. It's just like field an offer. They wouldn't take it though. They were like, it's like too much for us to buy at once. It's kind of a high risk card to buy. I'm probably just going to throw it on eBay.

I just, you know, eBay's a little sketchy too. There's a lot of sketchy customers that can claim, you know, the card never arrived. or it arrived damaged and, you know, then I'm just shit out of luck. So I want to sell it, but it's one of those things like you have to be careful how you sell it because there's so much like,

there's a lot of scamming with trading cards right now. And there's no like, it's just a piece of cardboard. There's no way to protect yourself, you know. So, I don't counterfeiting these things. They are. They are.

That's one of the things that I was going to bring up. A pretty common eBay scam is people will get your card and then like claim an issue with it, ship back a fake. the return and like keep your real card and they make fake graded slabs too like fully fake like if you post your um like hold on let me i'll pull one out so i can show what i'm talking about hold on it just seems like there's so much money involved with it now like you could counterfeit some cards and make a lot of money i mean don't you have to send it to some grading

company before you sell it? Sure, but, like, make a good counterfeit. How? Like, what technology are they putting into this piece of cardboard? Well, see, that's my, that's my point. Like, I mean, people counterfeit the $100 bill and tons of time has been spent making that thing hard to counterfeit. Okay. All right.

Are you going to open something, Goblin? I'm desperately hoping you open anything. No, not right now. Not right now. I'm just, so this is the $15,000 card I was talking about. Uh-huh. I bet there's another one in one of those packs. Oh, well, Swoon.

Well, I don't really have any packs to open. Yes, you do. You know you do. God. Okay, well, either way. Can open those. So if I posted this online, Chinese people would screenshot it and take the serial number of the graded card right here,

and they'd make fake duplicates of this and sell them on eBay. 4.4. What was that now? well, they're probably going to do it now after this episode, you know, but either way, this card's already been around. This thing's kind of ran through. Zach, make me a copy of that card. Is your card some sort of slut?

Like, what are we talking about? Well, it's just, it's been sold a lot, you know? You can, with the certification number, like, you can kind of look at past listings online. This thing's bounced around eBay, like, quite a few times. There's only a couple hundred of this card and this grade. So it's like when one sells, it's, like, kind of significant. like there's not a lot of them out there.

You must have a pack. It doesn't have to be that $5,000 pack, but you have something. I could look around. I probably have some shit. Okay, okay. I'm excited. I like this. I want to see him open a thing. You're a transitive gambler. That's what you are. Yes, I am. I am. I am. In the background there, above the cat and the bongs. That's a signed picture of Tony Suprano from what I can tell.

I thought it was going to be Oh yeah I think well I put it full screen I'm pretty sure he's right I was going to say it was George Costanza But now I'm thinking it does look like Tony Soprano I'm very sure it is put it full screen

And you'll be just as sure I'm seeing it full screen right now It's full screen Oh okay But he definitely has packs Look at that Not everyone has a brand new Alet monitor I guess

the blacks are so black I think this is an O-led I've got the Ben Q I do have a couple packs Nice two packs Are you opening two? We're going to open two whole packs Oh big money

Big money no whamies Okay all right I used to have a camera set up Where it was like a I could do a side angle But I don't have that set up anymore Why is it on me? Okay Okay

We want to see his reaction We want to see Angola, okay. Oh, huge good cookie monster. Uh-huh. Something like that. Cloncher. Uh-huh.

Teal. I know that one. I don't even know what this one is. Space man. Some sort of forest. Uh-huh. Oh, Executor. Angry Arbor Day.

Yeah. Pretty similar to Pokemon. Okay. Lottio. That's a flying blue person. That's a legendary. That's a legendary. That's a legendary.

That's a legendary. That's a legendary. That's a legendary. Probably two cents. Huge. Two cents. So, but here we go, reverse hollow. A reverse hollow right here.

Oh, this might be like, oh shit, wait. Oh my God, some shiny is coming up. Hold on. You have reverse hollow onyx? Reverse hollow, huge. Wait, here's the hit. Here's the hit. Bam.

Lavender. That's probably 50 cents. Nice. Big money. We got a basic energy. So. All right. All right.

Okay. So I counted up at least 52 cents. Around that is probably the value of the pack. Yeah, let me just have to find someone to actually buy it, you know. We're in the... Oh, you're in luck. I have 52 cents. You don't need the cards. It doesn't work the postage. But we do have one more, though.

Oh, yeah, this one has a lizard in the front. We have a second one, yeah. All right. Okay, here we go. The Pokemon Center Lady. Oh, oh, okay. Okay. Okay. card double scratch

Kyle's dog or something yeah but a dog angry dog angry dog okay yeah a fox concerned scary fox scary fox uh huh fat pig grump pig

yeah yeah fat pig dancing yep arbor day again we have two of those yeah another another angry arbor day uh huh oh okay Kyle would adopt this dog or a bear that's not a dog it's a cat

what the hell is that Yeah. It's an angry Angry snowflake. Wait, we have something. We have something. Oh. Huge.

Omega lucario. Oh, I didn't know. How much is a mega lucario X 340 worse? Like, maybe 10 bucks. Nice. You're in the back.

That's profit. That's profit. How much is the pack? Like five or six. bucks. Dude, we paid for both packs on this one. Yeah, we just double, well, hell, you know that, guys. That's perfect. Mega Lucario. Wow. Was that the last one, the mega lucario? Yes. Well, thank you for opening those. I had fun. Of course. Of course. Well, we, we profited. Oh, 15. 15. Let's go. We are solidly in the black. Oh, my God. We could get it graded and

make it 95 bucks. Yeah, I don't think this would do too well, though. Oh, why you say that? Look at the, look at the centering on the card. Look at the edges. You see how much bigger the silver right here is and the silver right here? No. Yeah, slightly. It's a pretty big difference.

And there's like certain percentage ratios that they use when they grade the card. It's like it's the same issue on the top versus the bottom. It's like a noticeable difference of the thickness of the edges of the card. So that wouldn't probably get more than like a, I don't know, dude. That would probably get like an eight. I got close to a $1,200 monitor to try to see the difference. I need a new prescription. The camera comes back on.

That's sick. Yeah, that was a good poll. Since I was a young child. I only know those guys from the games, which Lucario, solid in the games. steel and fighting type? Yep. Can't be it. I was going to say the same thing.

He's stronger than he looks. I never liked the way he looked. He should be bigger. He should be jacked. Yeah, he's a little like flimsy looking. He is. I mean, just going off looks, I think Arbor Day could beat him.

You know, trees. They're pretty big. Yeah. No, he's not that powerful looking or anything. Just let me see you one more time. I mean, he's got the spot. spikes on his fists, you know? I just realized he's a head and not just a yellow buddy.

That's the most intense he can look because this is mega lucario. Yeah, yeah, true. This is, yeah, it goes without saying. I need a picture of regular lucairio. I wouldn't pay $15 for a regular lucairio. Goblin, these guys don't know Pokemon. I thought I was pulling it off. I wish I could remember Woody that time that like Chis was giving us quiz questions.

and you like made up names for Pokemon I wish it whatever you said fucking killed me like I wish I could remember that was so fucking funny it was close enough you guys gave me points for it Googley Rock

pretty fast and loose with the rules I suppose well congrats on your net $3 thanks Huge. That's big. I'm excited.

I've made $1 an hour of being here so far, you know? It's like I'm on payroll. Pretty good. So at the tobacco store, what's the best and worst thing to buy there? Right? You were calling out something like Kratem or that you really didn't think they should store. I was,

I was that. All right. I don't, I don't freak with these places. I, at the smoke shop I mean the best thing objectively is buy yourself a bonger

go home probably you know maybe some joint papers I don't think my rule of thumb is anything that like I actually consume so like a pill or like something I smoke like I wouldn't buy from a smoke shop oh really

I thought you were kind of pro the thing that turns into DMT well it's not bad I mean I don't think any of the stuff is like just go buy shrooms. You know, why, why do the shitty? Because you got to realize these companies that are making the smoke shop products, hey, they're super sketchy. They have no oversight. When you actually look into like the company registration

form, it's always some like shell company that has no like real headquarters, you know, it's got like a mailing address that's like a virtual office when you Google it, you know, but it's, it's always better to just go do the real thing. But out of all the shit you could buy at the smoke shop, if you want to buy a consumable, like, I guess you could buy some of the shitty weed they sell. You know, if it's not Delta 8 and it's just like the THCA stuff, it's probably not the end of the world. The Kratum and the 70H is the really sketchy stuff that like could ruin your life.

Specifically the 70s, yeah. What's the 70 comparable to again, an opioid? Yeah, it's like taking a percocet or like an oxy or something like that. I hate those. Yeah, I never got into opiates either. I know they click with Kyle whenever I get hurt and like get them prescribed I get off them as fast as I can

and I'd never finish a bottle I didn't finish my bottle but I had but mostly because every now I'm a really bad headache and I'm like man this is going to be wonderful there's going to be a day when I have a terrible headache and I'm like let's go it's going to nuke this headache

there's going to be a day when I have a martini and combine it with a opioid even I mean, that'd be a good time too. You get feeling real nice. I like opiates a lot. Like, coding is tremendous. Coding might be one of the favorite things I've ever done.

I love coding. I don't like it at all. Itchiness, it's a little like... My wife gets that. I don't. But then on the other hand, it's like, if you've got a girl there to scratch you, then it's kind of like... It's almost a bonus. Yeah, it's almost a bonus.

It's like, oh, I'm all itchy, baby. like come here. It's like, well now I kind of like being itchy. Yeah, it's as awful to me. Oh, it's good stuff. And you're, you know, pretty fucking high. And nothing hurts. Like, like, there's, you know, it takes away all your pains, you know, whatever's aching

or ailing you. So I think I got like three or four of those things left. I'm about to go get some more dental work done. So I'll have another, another fresh bottle looking forward to it. Did you schedule that yet or you just haven't on your mind? I haven't scheduled it yet. I got, like I said, I got other stuff going on this week. I got to do my blood work for TRT and stuff like that.

It's time to do all that shit again. I hate that so much. I hate them stealing my blood. They take too much. Low key, the fainting sounds a little fun. It really does. I mean, just a head rush of it? Or what's fun about it?

It's a trip, I guess. I don't get it. it doesn't, it wouldn't happen to me. So, but like, so you just lay in there, they take your blood and then you're out and you come back and. No, I slowly get clammy and cold and sweaty and and start feeling, I start feeling like I've got low blood sugar like trembling and, and I feel that sort of in the middle of my chest like hollowness. And I get physically weaker and weaker to the point where lifting my hands is a bit of a like. Oh, there's a lot of gravity in this room. That's odd.

Must be the flooring. Now it sounds interesting again. And then slowly the world becomes a tunnel I'm looking through and the darkness encroaches in until I can't see anything. And I go blind and then I go unconscious. And if I'm not careful, I'll knock my head on the fucking counter and like the needle will bend weird in my vein and spray blood all over the wall. All right. Well, it was a bad ending. But it sounded neat when we were getting a little.

confused and the world was closing in. You just play a chokeout game then. Like, you know, just have somebody put you in a rear naked choke, put you out. It's the same feeling. Have you tried bucking up? I tried. It didn't work. There's no amount of bucking up does the trick for this one. You know what?

What I would hate about that experience when you come to and everyone's paying attention to you. I, that's the work. It's like, can everyone just leave? I don't like where I am. Yeah, like everyone knows what happened except me and this is not the least bit fun. I detest that. I value the opinion of others so little that I'm inflappable. I don't care what it is.

I'm like embarrassed. Like everyone just saw that except me. I'm the dumbest guy here. You never saw a guy pass out before? It's your problem. Who will smoke? You, Betsy. I've never fainted, but it would.

depend how much of a scene I made from the faint. Like if I managed to like kind of slink down against a wall, I don't think I'd be embarrassed. If I'm falling into the fucking sunglasses hut and yeah, there's a lot of rattling and calamity, I would be embarrassed. That embarrass me a bit. No? Not even a little bit. No, I thought, I thought it was like this is, this is silly.

This is the thing that's happening now. I don't care what those people think. people that are shopping at Walmart in Commerce Georgia. Oh, la-di-da. It's not like I fainted at Morton's or something. All the other Walmart shoppers are beneath me. They are. You were shopping at Walmart.

I went in for care. Apparently buying sunglasses. Well, I was trying to get to the bathroom again to splash that cold water in my face. That always fixes panic attacks and stuff like that for me. But like, didn't make it. Didn't make it. Face first for that shit. Yeah.

I feel like fainting is kind of embarrassing almost. Like the one time I did it, it's a very like, I got back up and everyone around me was like very freaked out. Like, oh, are you okay? And I just wanted to leave and they wouldn't let me. Oh, they couldn't stop me. You should sit down and have some water. I was moving. I was getting out of there.

Do you like, do you like being high and like public and like, like, like, oh, yeah. I don't mind that. Like really high. I'm not talking about weed, like, getting like real zooted and like going to the airport security. airport i used to get really fucked up like my rule of thumb because i'm terrified of flying i still am but like it was a lot worse years ago so my rule of thumb was like at least two milligrams of xanax and i'm getting hammered at the bar and like i'm for that yeah oh yeah mixing zanics and alcohol they say that's like extra smart when yeah it's brilliant you know but you get fast last

The last time we flew to Colorado, we had, it was the first day I had smoked anything in like four years or something like that. And I had gotten a Delta 8 pin from the gas station. I had no experience with it whatsoever. And we were on the like, we parked in the long term parking and then we were getting in that little shuttle bus to go to the airport. Me and ZT, my gaming buddy, God rest his soul. He died like the next year in a motorcycle accident. We're on the shuttle together. And I'm like, I got this Delta 8.

You want to puff on this thing? It smells like strawberry. Nobody will fucking care. And he's like, yeah, yeah. And we, we passed it back and forth. And I, it was like one of those Mount Rushmore's of high experiences for me. I, we got so high that time was like coming and going. Like, you couldn't tell if five minutes had passed or like five seconds.

It was like, used. And that's like an awkward feeling because you're like, have I been staring at a wall drooling a little bit for like a long time? like you'll be like locked in staring at something you like come back to and you're like how long was I staring awkwardly at that woman? did I order those potato skins. Yeah. Yeah. And so by the time we got to airport security, I was just out of it.

Just completely baked. I've gone through airport security like wicked high, like a bunch of times. Like I always say when we do those big trips, like the trip that you went with me on, Taylor, everybody buys their own drugs. Like you're there, you get your like $100

with the drugs from the dispensary. Chis is there. He does the same. I buy drugs from. me and my girlfriend. And so, like, we've all got our own little stashes of drugs, like little doodads and who's he was. It's, you know, we're, we're kind of experiencing illegal marijuana for the first time. So everybody's experimenting, getting odd things. At the end of the week, everybody flies home. And I'm the last to fly home. And so I've got all the leftover drugs.

And I take them to the airport with me. And I'm in the, like, the far parking lot before you go through anything. And there's a trash can there to throw away your drugs. Like, like, like, they, know that people's going to be a thing. And so I'm just out there just smoking them all, just smoking everything that I can and like eating all the edibles. Fucking lightweight. When I do this, I set the trash can on fire. You need that to throw them away, dude. TSA doesn't care about your weed. You know, not taking any chances. So I just eat everybody's edibles and smoke everybody's joints and like burn everything I can out there until my throat hurts. And then I'm like,

All right. Let's hit security. Like, I'm asking. I'm sneaking so bad from the weed. I'm worried about the drug dog they got walking around. I'm like, he's just going to alert to me. He's going to think that I am marijuana. But I love that.

You see that dog and you're like, it knows. It knows, yeah. Like, Airsport, if you've flown, if you've never flown before, I guess it could be intimidating to go through like the process of getting your boarding pass and going through security, but I don't know. I'm not some world traveler, but I've flown 30, 50 times or something like that. I'm not stressed out going through that process. Oh, I didn't take my belt off.

What are you going to shoot me? I'll take it off. Hang on. Give me a second. I'll figure it out. Yeah. You did bring a ton home from that trip because I remember that me, you and Chis had a, we overbought.

Yeah. the weed at the dispensary because we were also excited that it was legal. Yeah. And there was a tremendous amount left. Yeah. I might have asked this before. On one of your trips, you did acid. Yeah.

How do you get that? I think you can't go to the acid store. I didn't acquire that. Somebody else, I don't know if they had brought it with them or if they had purchased it in Colorado, but somebody else had a hookup or something. I know that what people who have less. to lose will do is they'll just hop on like Instagram or something and like find the you can like find

the guy in the area who's just advertising his drug store on Instagram or even or X or whatever just on social media you can find a guy near you right now who's selling anything and everything but it's like what if it's a cop like you're about to start a vacation do you want to begin it by getting arrested in a foreign state my fear is they'll think I'm the cop don't I look a little copish yeah you like cop. Yeah. You look like Detective Woodenstein or something like that.

Right. If there was a cop of the four of us, it's... It was a fucking narque. Yeah. Yeah, I'm afraid they'd take one look at me and be like, get out of your officer. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I think they might.

I don't know. I don't know who acquired it. I don't know who acquired it. I know who acquired it, but I don't know how they acquired it. You know what? I just realized. I am Woody's Gamer Tech.

I feel like I could be like Google me. My career for the last 15 years is online. Now he's going to rat. Now he knows who to rat out. Did something go bad? Don't tell him who you are. I didn't think this through. Let me just click this clip.

Oh, you got a lot to lose, Mr. Game of Tag. I bet your audience would love to know about your illicit drug use here. My name is. It's kind of a show topic. Less to lose than you think. It's interesting. Let me just click this clip of you talking to. Aryan Foster.

Oh, this is pretty cool. I love Aryan Foster. What the fuck? What the fuck? Did you call Wolf a son of a monkey? Jesus Christ. That's a common expression that people use. I've never heard before in my life.

Well, I'm going to bat for a monkey. I feel like no. Goblin, like, you might look a little bit like a narc. Like, your visual is so different from someone who has had extreme drug situations. I think it helps me get away with a lot of shit, for sure. You know, and I got pulled over a million times when I was younger because I would always drive these like complete shitbox cars that cops definitely thought were filled with different looking people than me.

And it like, there had been multiple times. times where I got pulled over and like the cop would basically just walk up just be like hey slow down and just leave like they just give me the quick profile and just like you know I mean while I got like a bag of blow in my back seat I got a gun that I bought off my Coke dealer you know like I got a bunch of bullshit as a scale under the armrest you know like just I prison time in the car there was one time where I got pulled over with a buddy of mine and like I we had a case of Corona visible in the back seat and I used to drive a 1994 Cadillac DeVille and and it was purple. And I got it for like two or three thousand dollars and it leaked water all over the passenger seat. Like every time I'd accelerate once I got past like third gear, it would just start pissing on the passenger. Like every time. So I got pulled over in this thing and the cop lights me up and I'm drunk. I'm like, holy shit.

I'm going to jail, dude. I'm drunk. I have blow on me. I like, I'm going to scale in the back seat. There's a bag of weed in here. We have alcohol and I'm 20. I'm not even 21. Blow means cocaine, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had a bag of Coke. Like, I had everything. So I, like, I had a little fanny pack with, like, all my bad things in it. And I threw it in the back seat and I put a jacket over it as we got pulled over. And this cop comes up and he's super young and he looks at me and my friend. And we look pretty similar. We're both just like white dudes with no tattoos and, you know, from the suburbs.

You know, we're good. So this guy pulls us out of the car. And he's talking to me. And he's like, peonis with me, man. like how much of you had to drink? Like you got open alcohol in the car. And my friend's holding a corona when we get pulled over, mind you. He's like holding it down by his leg, like thinking that like the cop's not going to see it.

He's like, dude, I see that corona. Like he like immediately called out. He's like, I see what you're holding. Really? It's by my leg. I didn't know you'd look there. We were already pretty buzzed. And I tell the guy, I'm like, listen, man, I had a couple drinks tonight.

You know, I'm thinking like, dude, I'm about to get a DUI. And four months later, I did get a DUI, rightfully so. But on this night, the cop was like, well, Well, I can't believe this actually happened, but he was definitely young and he was new. And he's like, well, you know, honestly, man, you don't seem that drunk to me. And, like, I ran your license. Like, you don't. At the time, my record was fine.

Like, I had a retail theft thing from a couple years prior and like a couple possession charges. But I wasn't, you know, probably the guy he was hoping to pull over when he pulled over a. Yeah, you know, I was a small time guy. I wasn't the guy he thought he was getting when he pulled over a purple Cadillac DeVille, you know. He was like, listen, man. like you don't seem drunk to me you seem good to drive like your buddy's drunk though like he can't be drunk um I need to take the alcohol

from you guys because like you're both under 21 and I'm like hey man like no problem literally my friend's like dude I turned 21 in a month like come on like just let me keep it like he was arguing back at the cop I'm like dude just let him take the fucking alcohol please and he grabs the drink that my friend's holding and then he opens the backseat of my car

and he grabs the like case of corona it's still in the box and everything and right next to the case of corona is my green I had a green jacket covering the fanny pack that had my blow that had the scale that had the bag of weed that had basically everything illegal all in one little place and as he like grabs the beer he like closed the door and he's joking he's like there's nothing else in there and like I'm like no dude like no there's nothing else in here he's suspecting you have an unreal amount of Dalmatians in the back yeah he's purple to something And I'm like, no, man, there's nothing else in here.

And like, thankfully he let us go. I got a ticket for, it was, I don't remember what the wording was, but it was something with, it was like a legal transport of alcohol by a minor or something like that. And then I got a ticket for like not like signaling when I like switched lanes or something like that. It was like $200 altogether. Like it was nonsense. And I definitely. I deserve

Dewey. I'll tell you that much. I deserved one. How much? Coke was in the car. Probably like an eight ball. Like three and a half grams. Enough to get in trouble. Yeah.

For sure. Yeah. If you were to do Coke one time, how much would that way? Like just one line? Or like if you were just buying a bag for one night? I just, I'm trying to like,

how much is a personal consumption night? I mean, okay. So it depends. If no one ever does Coke alone, it's the kind of thing like you're drunk, you're at the bar and it's like, guys, we need a bag,

you know? In that scenario, you might get an eight ball, which is three and a half grams. That's like you're with a lot of homies. If it's just you and one other person, you can get away with a gram, you know,

for the night. Okay, okay. So one person might do half a gram or a little more. Maybe, yeah, half a gram for one person is plenty. You know, if you're just sitting at your house and you're drinking,

there's no reason to need more than half a gram. You know, if you do more than half gram, you're doing really shitty stuff. So, we talked about mushrooms a few shows ago. If you were to do mushrooms, right, you're looking for a good night. You're not going anywhere. Yep. What's it weigh? In my opinion, probably two grams.

Oh, okay. I think two is like a nice chill. Like you're not, you're not tweaking. You don't trip very often. You just want something light. Two grams is a nice chill dose. My first time tripping. I just think of weed gummy.

But my first time tripping, I took an eighth. I took three and a half grams and that was not. I did not have a good first shroom trip. I never had a good shrimp trip. Every time, like this shroom vate is pretty, pretty solid. This is nice. This makes me feel a little goofy. But every time I've eaten shrooms, it's been an absolute nightmare.

How much are you eating at a time? Yeah. Um, you know, like the first time, it was probably like gram and a half. And that was like nothing. It just made the colors pretty. and I was like a big letdown and then I doubled the dose the next time and that was pretty scary

and but still didn't really have a good time and then another time I did like four grams I think I did about four grams when I passed out at Walmart and had that whole meltdown and then I did like eight grams a few years ago in a chocolate bar and that was a nightmare that was that was really rough I've never even heard of eat like to me three to five

is where the hero dose ranges and eight is the bar has like 12 or 15 something like that it's a chocolate bar that has mushrooms in it it like looks like a herschise bar please called a chocolate bar no no it's like imagine a hercys bar it's shaped just like a classic heres bar with your people like me that don't like alcohol it's the chocolate bar i'll take uh two milks in a shot of dark yeah two more shots in dark It seemed like a Hershey's bar with the breakable rectangles. And I think the whole bar is either 12 or 15 grams. And I ate two thirds of the bar.

And it was just like on the back, it was kind of like when you play Doom and the difficulties are, it's like nightmare, inferno, death shit mode. And I was at like two thirds of the bar, it was like superhero dose. And I was like, I'm a superhero. I was like, I can climb a rope with no feet.

I'm a superhero. You're all. Let's go. No, you're not. You can't even navigate a rack of sunglasses at that dose. It's true. It's true. That's my cryptonite. Are you also, I know Kyle is more an LSD guy than a shrooms guy.

Do you feel the same way, Goblin? I was when I was younger and then I had a bad acid trip for the first time. And that shit scared me straight immediately. And I'm now a shrooms guy. Why do you think the acid trip went bad? it was a lot of things I didn't have anything planned I was literally sitting in a hotel room with my girlfriend and it did not go well and like she kind of started freaking out and then I was like wait am I freaking out you know and then I was like all right I'm freaking out now you know it was not problem if I'd been there we'd have been good I'd have been look at this clown face it's changed it hit her a little before me and then I remember I went in the mistake I made was I went to to the bathroom. I was like, all right, she's tweaking. I'm going to the bathroom

real quick. I mean, you know, get some cold water and like try to relax. And I got stuck in there for a little bit. And you know, that's rule of thumbs, don't go to the bathroom when you're tripping. If you don't have to, you don't want to look in the mirror, you know, you don't want to do any of that. They said that I don't

I always heard that and I went to piss and I was like, what is the fucking candy man going to come out and get me? Like, Come on. You know what I mean? Like bloody Mary's going to show up if I look in the mirror three times or something. I just stay in there and stare at myself, I feel like.

That's what I did. I look like that. So hold on a second. I was, forgive me for the details, but you went to the bathroom. Is it the mirror that was the trouble? Was pooping the trouble?

No, no, no, that was just the start of it. I just stared at myself in the mirror for a little bit. And then I came back out. She's like full on freaking out. She's like,

should we call 911? Like, it was like, it was like very bad. It was very overwhelming. I kind of had to trips at her while I was also tripping really hard because these tabs that I had gotten were from a different place I normally would get them and they were they were way different

like way stronger. So you took a bigger dose than you expected to take. Oh, how many tabs of acid? It was like two. It wasn't even that much. Oh, like we normally wouldn't we wouldn't trip that hard. But at that point of my life, I had just gotten back into it. Like I took like four or five years off where I didn't

do any psychedelics. I guess this is technically my second badass trip, but the first time it wasn't even real acid, so I don't count it. Have you always done tabs, or have you ever done like the eyedropper? I've done liquid a couple times before. That shit is cool.

In my mouth. Yeah, I've never like dropped into my eye or anything like that. Why not? I don't know. I just, I hate eye drops to begin with. I love sensitive eyes when I was a kid. I remember when it was time to get my glasses.

My parents were like, get contacts. and I sat there at the eye doctor. I was like in third grade crying for like an hour because I got telling me, just put them in and like, I couldn't get it in my eye. I flinch every time. So I love you to.

I hate eye drops to you. If you were to do acid, let's say it's a good time, everything's fine. Yep. How long would you wait before doing it again? Would you do it the next day or is it like got to be in mind? Oh, definitely not.

I mean, when I was younger, even when I was younger, we'd still wait like quite a few days between tripping. And that was like, if you do it more than once a week, you're tweaking. like your tolerance is still going to be built up you have to take more than you did

like if I take it on a Monday and then I trip again on Friday I'm going to have to take more tabs when I took on Monday to get to the same place you know it lasts a little bit I'd say at most you want to do it like once a month maybe okay at most even that's like someone who trips 12 times

a year is like that's a lot would you say the same thing about mushrooms yeah I'd say so you know I think trumes are a little you can go a little harder but the tolerance works the same way where like, yeah, you can't take shrooms back to back every day.

You're going to have to take a copious amount of them if you want to. You can microdose every day, which is a whole different thing, but... Do you think drugs have a cross-tolerance? Like if you were to do mushrooms every so often... I think so, yeah. Yeah. I think the real...

It might not even be a cross-tolerance, more so it's like the way your brain perceives that level of difference is like, if I've ever... dropping acid for, you know, three weeks straight. And then I take a couple days off. And I switch to shrooms. Like, my brain's going to be so used to being off its rocker that the shrooms probably won't feel as strong, you know, if I had like been doing Coke for three weeks straight and then drop shrooms. I want to do DMT so bad. I really want a DMT vape so that I can go deep

and see the machine elves. I want that experience so much. I want to completely disassociate. I don't even want to see the world that I'm existing in. I want to transcend this plane of existence and go to another that's filled with a kaleidoscope of wonder and potentially intelligent beings. Joe Rogan used to really pitch that. Like it seemed like all the time he was just like trying to get his guest to do DMT talking about the magic of DMT. He pitched DMT as some sort of permanent upgrade to your creativity and brain power. They call the spirit molecule. Um, It's really interesting when you hear people talk about their experiences and the shared experiences that people seemingly have without any sort of contamination or outside input. A lot of people see machine elves.

And everybody seems to think that these little elf like machine people, machine elf people, like they're there to comfort you and they're welcoming to you. And they're trying to like, they're your friend. and then I heard someone talk about how that had been the case for them and then they had done a lot of DMT over a long period of time and he's like eventually the machine elves turned on me and like said that I was abusing this and that they didn't want anything to do with me anymore and they sort of turned their back on me.

And like the idea of that like I've always said that I want to get one of those tribal people who has no concept of a machine elf that hasn't been contaminated in any way by the idea of them being there and see if they see the machine elves because like if I do DMT right now and I see machine elves, you're going to say, yeah, Kyle, you're always talking about the machine elves.

He's wanted that. No, he goes on and on about the machine elves guys. Right? I do. I find him fascinating. And then we had a guy in one of our $50 patron hangouts linked down below who would like do his DMT vape and he went really deep. He was in another place. he was seeing things that weren't there.

He was having a wild out-of-body experience. And toward the end of it, it was a little upsetting to watch. He sort of like spat up on himself, like a toddler. Yeah, it wasn't like a full-on vomit, but he was like, and like like burbled on himself, some like some foamy stuff. And that was a little upsetting to see. But I still am like, I want that bad. I want to do that.

I like the idea. Did it make it seem less fun. I just spit it up. I'm okay if I vomit I just in the cartoons they would make you know the cartoon character would like fall into a barrel of beer

and they'd come out seeing literally pink elephants and they'd be floating around it's like then I drank a beer and none of that shit happened and then I did mushrooms and none of that shit happened and smoked weed and none of that shit happened but I did acid and I saw some stuff that wasn't there I saw reality

was being augmented I was seeing things do things that weren't real. Things were wiggling, pulsating, breathing. Colors were like, it was like you were changing the color settings on a TV, like a knob back and forth sometimes with the way the saturation would increase in the center of a round object and then pulse out to the outside of it. And everything was sort of, again, wiggling, trembling, vibrating. And it applied to, you know, you just wanted to find more beautiful things to look at,

to watch them do that. And then you're also giggly and elated and like happy and just really thrilled with what's going on with no nausea, with no like grossness and bare, this is the smallest touch of dizziness. Like a little bit of dizziness. Like I'm not as coordinated. I wouldn't want to do some like hand eye coordination drills or anything like that. But I'm not going to stumble down the stairs, you know? I felt like microdosing mushrooms gave me a much less. of that, but like the joy, like, how you doing?

I'm actually really happy. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but things are just good right now. Everything's fine. All the, all the bad things in life, well, not really focused on them. I'm just, just the good stuff. And I wouldn't, people do it at work and perform their jobs and they, programmers used to microdose a lot. But I make sure I have no responsibilities. That, uh, there's that one video of the, there's two different kinds of DMT. the Toad Venom DMT is different. Sounds scary.

Yeah, they literally it's exactly what it sounds like. Is that what that guy took in that video where he's almost drowning in a stream? Yes. Someone has to pull him out. I was looking for that exact video. Like, he's rolling around

in a very, very shallow creek and he's sort of hugging himself. And I think he's saying over and over, like, I love you or like, or something like that. Like, like, he's, he's, he's, he's nothing but joy in that moment. Like, he's lost control of his body and his surroundings, and he's just pure joy in that moment on that towed venom. And on one hand, who, that looks sketchy.

I don't know if I want to be rolling around in a creek. Like, that might not have been, we talk about, what, we call what do you, like, set and setting and yeah set and setting mindset and setting and the place yeah yeah talking about set and setting like that's not the setting for me and a like creek outside somewhere like I probably want to be on a couch

somewhere watching some goofy shit on TV or maybe like maybe somewhere outside by but but not in a creek that's the thing with me like I see I hear people tell their drug stories and I'm like I'm no drug expert but I am like maybe a responsibility expert

and it's like why didn't you get your shit together first. Why did you do this in a weird place that you're not used to where you maybe have to do things right? We have to get home. You know, like you just made so many bad decisions before you made the bad decision. Yep. Yep. I've done that. Yep. I don't do that anymore. I wouldn't do that now. Yeah. Like what you did in Colorado was right. You know, you surround yourself with people that you really enjoyed. You had like even the, I don't know, environment that you were going to intake somewhat planned out. I know you watched like Alice in Wonderland or something.

And maybe that was it. Yeah. And you just had all your sort of shit together and you didn't have any responsibilities. You weren't like you didn't have to drive someplace. You didn't have to sign papers or make big decisions. Like you had everything all set out so that you wouldn't make any big mistakes on this. Yeah. Yeah.

I was real. And I tiptoed my way into it. as well. Like we did one tab of acid and then we waited 45 minutes, maybe an hour. And, uh, and I was like, this is great. I want more of it though. This is like, this is so mild. Like I can feel that we're on the verge of something good. It's like you had one bite of something delicious. And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'll have that. Yeah, I'll have that. Bring me a course of that. And then I took two and then three and then four and then maybe five, you know, like, these are tabs.

Yeah, yeah. You know what bugs me? I'm sorry to cut you off, but I, I've never done this, but I'm like, the fact that your tabs could be a different strength than Goblins tabs or Goblins tabs are different strengths day to day. I'm like, oh, how do you get this right? There's a lot of other factors that go into tripping, too, you know?

It's an environmental thing a lot of the time. Do you, like, I put the thing on my tongue, and I sublingually, like, absorbed as much as I could and rolled it around in there. But then I ate the paper too. Do you eat the paper too? Oh yeah, I eat the paper. Yeah, I'm not saying the paper out. I wanted every little bit that I could get. On your tongue or under, or maybe it doesn't matter. On and then I just, you know, once it gets real soggy, you just kind of roll it into a ball and swallow it, you know?

Okay. I would do the eyed dropper to the eyeball. I'd be up for that. Like, I'd like a hero dose to the eyeball. You ever see Mandy with Nicholas Cage? What a pussy. I do turkey baster to the asshole or nothing. Oh, I'll poo fast at any day.

You bring, you show up, you want me do yours and you do mine? Obviously, yes. Yeah. I'll get in that like upside down position, Steveo did when he did like the beer booth and like rocketed out of his ass or whatever. Like I'd absolutely, yeah. If it's about getting high, I'm down. In Mandy, there's a scene where they put a like eye, they put the drop of LSD in her eye. and then they pull out this terrifyingly enormous hornet

and they have it like sting her and the jugular and she's going on a wacky trip seeing crazy shit I don't want to I don't want any hornet stinging me in the throat but I would definitely try the eyedropper of acid to the eyeball I'd like almost rather do the hornet yeah I hate eye stuff dude I'd rather get stung why would you want that instead of just putting it in your mouth I need to do my reason.

Because as Woody taught me, the eye is part of the brain. We're not trying to get this in our bloodstream and have it eventually make its way to the brain. We're putting the acid in our brain. Like, let's do, whole hog. I'm all about it. I don't know. That's spooky. It's a fun trip.

Like, it's not, I don't know if there's, I want a lot of it. I heard about, like, maybe it was the guy who invented it. And like, he took like some gigantic dose. Some, it was like 150 tabs worth or something like that. And they talked about the trip he went on and how fantastical it was. And I'm like, you know, 150 seems extreme, but 50? You know, like, can you die from it? No.

You can ruin your brain. Goblin fact check. Can you die from acid? Is anyone? Not that you know of. I don't think you would die of the acid. If anything, it would be some underlying thing like while you're tripping. You go walking to traffic maybe.

You know, but I don't think like the acid would directly. I'm not, I don't know if I have the correct answer on that either, though. We might need an internet fact check. But as far as I'm aware, it would be like an underlying thing, like a cardiac arrest from, you know, you had a, you know, something like that. I'm trying to find how much acid that that one got. He took five, okay, this woman took 550 times the usual dose. Drug overdoses can be life-threatening, but for two women who accidentally took massive hits of LSD, the experience was life-changing and in a good way.

A 46-year-old woman snorted a staggering 550 times the normal recreational dose of LSD, not only survived, but found that the foot pain she had suffered from since her 20, was dramatically reduced. Separately, a 15-year-old girl with bipolar disorder overdosed on 10 times the normal dose of the drug, which she said resulted

in a massive improvement in her mental health. There's like a bunch more of these little stories of people taking way too much LSD and it going well. I asked Chatsy-B-T if you could die of him acid.

And it kind of said no, but it is still dangerous, right? Like some people walk in the street, perception, judgment, etc. Some people who have high blood pressure and issues already get issues. And then the other one it called out that I didn't think of is that it might not be just acid in there. So, you know, you take 50 tabs of something they told you was acid and you could find your... 25 is one of the most popular things to sell is fake acid.

It's just a research chemical that's like very, very cheap. Whenever you take a tab and it's bitter, it's 25I. And 25I when I was 17. I took a few tabs out and overdosed on it. Then had to go to the hospital and there was a whole thing. I had a cardiac arrest in this whole shebang. But like, can I ask your question? Do you have today?

You take one tab, it's bitter. Now what? Do you know that this is stronger? It's bad. If you take one tab and you taste it at all, you shouldn't take anymore. You should probably spit out whatever's in your mouth. And I probably take a Xanax for good measure. You know, um,

Zanax is the. a trip killer. So, you know, if you're about to have some synthetic shit in your system, you're not going to want to have that trip. So I'd probably take a Xanax, like, almost immediately after that. That's like the only time I'd ever say, like, I'm normally very like, hey, don't mess with Benzos. You know, they're very addictive. The withdrawals are horrible. But like, in that scenario, it's honestly, it's kind of smart to have a Xanax on hand if your trip goes bad. Because it does actually work. You know, if you're having a bad trip or you take something bad and it's not what you think it is, like Xanax will kill us like an electric.

so interesting how fast does it kill it uh within like 45 to an hour oh that's that's not 45 seconds though it doesn't no 45 minutes 45 minutes you gotta let the pill hit like it's not just gonna immediately

you know but LSD's like a 12 hour trip though so yeah I mean better than sitting there the whole 12 hours if you're having a bad time yeah I just yeah I just didn't know like melatonin hits a lot faster than that sure yeah Xanax takes a little bit At least in my experience, everyone's different, though. Zanax never does anything to me. I don't even notice it.

They gave me two Xanax before surgery, and I couldn't even tell I was like, were those sugar pills? What was that? I don't notice any difference. You're like, oh, it'll relax you. I don't feel relaxed at all. I'm kind of terrified, honestly.

You take enough of it. You'll be very, very relaxed. They might have gone light because it is dangerous. Maybe. I mean, I think me, flinching would have been more dangerous. God. When everything back on that, when I think back on that, that's one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire fucking life.

I'd rather fall down at Walmart every day of the week for a month and go back in for another eye surgery. They asked me before my nose surgery, I had cancer. Did I want something to help me like relax and calm down? And I was like, I processed it in my head. How do you say yes? but not too enthusiastically because they'll

they'll see right through you just if I'm like yeah I think I should that was how I answered I go the other way out like yeah as much as you feel comfortable giving me I have a high tolerance to that actually and you're not going to have any trouble out of me

like load me up I think I outsmarted myself I like your answer I like whenever I get high every day you're going to have to double whatever you thought you were giving me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean,

that's what I did when they were prescribing me that Tylenol 3, that codeine for my, for my oral surgery. They're like, we're going to give you some painkillers. And I was like, give me plenty and give me strong ones. I was like,

that stuff doesn't really work on me too well. And I was like, and this is good. This is really going to hurt, I think. Give me. Yeah. And she doubled the fucking prescription.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. She gave me 15. I don't know how many milligrams they were, maybe 10 milligrams of coating in each pill. And she gave me like 15 of them. Like things are tremendous.

Opey is like just break them in half. Obias scare me. I go the other way. One, I don't really like them. But it's like, you know, do you want this? And I'm like, yeah. Could we try like anything else?

You know, I'll do Tylenol. See how our bet rides. Goblin, have you had coating syrup? I have. I'm not, when I was younger, it was very popular. You know, when I was in high school, it was like 2015, 2016. So it was like the peak, like, Xanax and Lean era. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the future was just getting big.

So I didn't mix it with anything. I think in a lot of places... Oh, you're just drinking the plain syrup. Yeah, I think in a lot of places, they put an additive in there to make it taste like shit. Not in Georgia, though. So, like, they gave me a pint of codeine syrup, and it was strawberry, bubble gum flavored. It tasted like bubble it, like baseball bubble gum.

There's no permethylene in it? I don't know. It's been, it's been 15 years now. But like, you would, I would just sip it. And it was, we're just driving down the road and I'm in the passenger seat. Just taking little sips out of it. And you can feel like the liquid morphine coat your sore throat and just instantly anesthetize your throat as it goes down. I was coughing up blood from strep throat and shit.

I was violently ill, so I needed it. Then we drove all the way to Ohio, or no, Idaho from Georgia. And Idaho put some sort of disgusting shit in there so that people won't abuse it. And I was just like, ah, the high is not even worth it. This is disgusting. It was so nasty. I never took the, like, I never drank the liquid, but I remember the codeine pills were very popular when I was a bit younger. And I used to like those a lot.

Yeah, I like, I've got. That's what I think you have to take like 20 of those fuckers to, you know, really get anything done. I feel like if I took two or three, I'd be pretty zuted. Mine are, I think of 10 milligrams each, but I don't know off the top of my head. And I think it's codeine and Tylenol mixed together. They call it Tylenol three, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

It's good shit. Yeah. You guys ready to wrap, but there's a hot pretzel cooking. Oh, ready to wrap. Get to your pretzel by all means. Right. I really like it, though. Thank you for staying the whole time.

We appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having you guys. You need a great job, by the way. Always good to be here, you know. I appreciate it. All right, PCA 811.