Painkiller Already - PKA 813 W/ Santi & VinWiki: Who's Checking The Mail?

Episode Date: July 18, 2026

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That would have been cooler. PKK 813. Taylor just told us what happened to his house. But I'm sworn to secrecy. Santy is our guest. Another guest coming halfway through, we hope. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Lock and Load

and our wonderful merchandise. Santi, great having you, as always. Thank you, thank you. I have been all over the United States. And in all of those trips, like it's been for the World Cup, I've had many a Taco Bell and I have avoided the explosive diarrhea. a virus that's coming out of Taco Bell. So I'm forever grateful for that.

I thank the Lord's because I have friends that were traveling with me that are sick, that do have the explosive diarrhea. So do you know the explosive diarrhea thing has nothing to do with Taco Bell? It's the lettuce. Taco Bell pulled all the lettuce and stuff

out of their menu, but there is no evidence that any of this is coming from Taco Bell. They just hear explosive diarrhea and Taco Bell's like, yeah, that was probably us. We know. we got a got ahead of this It's always what it ends up being Where people will be like

Oh, Chipotle's given a bunch of people Like blood in their poop And it's like, well, it's the tomatoes That were being handled in a really Like think of how gross the people handling those must have been Just like not wiping their ass after they shit And then they're picking a tomato And it doesn't get washed

So they spray them with animal feces Like liquid animal shit And then if you don't wash your vegetables Before you prepare them then you literally eat like animal sewage. They spray it with pig poo, right? And that's one of the things they do. It depends on the area, what they got.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Big poo is a real common one because it's collected, like, they sort of wash it down into this lagoon, they call it, which is a wonderful name for what a pig lagoon is. I promise you, you're like, I'd have called it filthy shithole, but lagoon, you guys were on something. This is nice. And they basically, like, once the lagoon is full,

In my area, they had a system to pump it through those big auto irrigation systems you see, like moving across fields on tires. And it would spray thousands of gallons of liquid pig shit across hundreds of acres of property. And you'd smell it. All right. So in my area, in the parameder world, foot dragging is a cool way to, like, show off. It's not super dangerous because it's just like dirt bike speeds. And you're not really high. You're dragging along the ground.

But if you do it on the dirt, it's this bumpy ride. and it can sometimes kick your feet back under you. If you do it on the water, it's nice. It's this real smooth water skiing feeling. So more than once, I have seen people foot drag and they're like, dude, did you see me? Did you see me? Was that cool? And it's like, is anyone going to tell him that was a lagoon?

No. No. All right. We'll just let him think that was super dope. And the reason we didn't do it because we're scared. It's a lake made of pig pee. That's disgusting. It is so disgusting.

Have you, how many times have you rolled the dice with Taco Bell your trip? Almost every single time. Like, it's a go-to for me. Like I have a, at the very minimum, like if it's after 9 p.m., I know that I can get a meal that hit some basic macros for me. You know, I'm currently trying to cut for my wedding. So Taco Bell is as crazy as it sounds. Like, if you play it well, like you can get some decent macros out of it, if you can't find

better food. But at least like six times. in the past two and a half weeks. What is what is your order? Like every other day. Um, so I like the, uh,

the chicken cassidia. I usually order two with just a ton of hot sauce and that usually is pretty decent enough for like my macros like some fake protein, but I counted, you know, in my calculator. But, um, you know,

I'm not talking like, oh, you know, like this is my bodybuilding meal. I'm going to go get Taco Bell. It is a, uh, uh,

purely a, I am out here and I have nothing. else is an alternative. I prefer that over most bowls usually. It is really hard to eat right on the road. Every diet I've ever had fell apart on vacation. Yeah. My fiance just doesn't mess around. I think I've mentioned on the show that she is a competitive bodybuilder. So she is the type to travel cross country and sometimes across continents with those like paper like aluminum bags where she can take all of her food that's like, you know, refrigerated and whatnot. She is like dialed in. Like it is impressive. Like you say, Woody, you cannot travel and eat well. She is the only person I know

that can travel and eat well. And she does not miss a single day, a single meal. She is a machine. But I think that requires, requires something in your brain to be able to be like that. Because like, I'm a healthy guy. I work out, you know, quasi bodybuilding. Not anymore. You know, when I worked at a gym, at a gym, I used to be a lot more focused on bodybuilding type of exercises and aesthetics. But even at my peak, I could never travel and eat well, never. Yeah,

sucks. If I've got to travel and eat and I'm on a job, and I'm on a, I'm serious about my working out. I treat it like a job. I'll definitely pack stuff. I've shown up my dad's house with a bunch of Tupperware and like fucking stuff to make

anabolic French toast and all. all that stuff, all that stuff. Does she work full time? Does she work full time? Yeah. It's, it's a work from home job. So I do think it is easier in that regard to be able to, to maintain the crazy diet that she's got. Because she's got a show in early September and then mid-September. So she's going back to back. So she's keeping that physique for those two weeks. Right now, the wedding is October 17th. So she's, yeah, so she's actually for her dress

fitting, she's going to do it in early August. Because the idea is that she's going to be way too skinny in September. And once the shows are done, she's going to gain weight to her weight that she was in early August to try and fit in that dress. She's one of the rare brides

that's actually going to be trying to gain weight in the lead up to the wedding. Yeah, she needs tips on gaining weight. She can call me. Oh, buddy, I'm already the pro. She's living with a pro athlete when it comes. You're going to need some trail mix up there? Trail mix. No, you're going to...

I would, like, when I was lifting the most seriously, I would trick myself into just being like, as long as the number goes up and you hit your protein, eat whatever you please. And that just gives you like gorilla barrel body where you're like, the numbers going up. Then you see yourself after a shower and you're like, my God. What a thing? He looked like an ogren. I'm like, oh my God.

I have a stretch there, Taylor. A beautiful neck. I did all of the stuff that you're talking about, but what I would do is like I'd take it overdrive and I would purposely, like if I'm bulking, I would have my father-in-law, fantastic of baking weed brownies. Like literally like top tier, top 1%,

unbelievably good brownies. Like my friends want them all the time. Anyways. My go-to is to ensure I get one of those brownies, and I have like 3,000 calories worth of what I deem to be, bulking food, good to go for the rest of the night. And now with Uber, you can schedule deliveries. So I was like, all right, this McDonald's is arriving at 8 p.m. The Popeyes is arriving at 9 p.m. Sometimes you mess up and they crisscross with one another and they arrive at the same time.

Jesus, Chris. You're not a burnt in your off time, are you? I can't imagine needing the substance to eat more. Like, every time I've talked to people, like my, like, Hutch has been on the show multiple times. And I don't think he's really into it anymore. But for a while a few years ago, he was talking about getting into lifting and all that. And he's like, I just can't get myself to eat. And that's like me hearing Arabic, like, because it's just, it just doesn't compute with me.

Where I'm like, what do you mean? You don't always kind of want to eat? Like you can't always just be like, I'm a little peckish. Even if I'm not hungry at all, that sounds nice. A little salt, a little savory, something flavorful, something to do. Is this me talking? This is the feeling. It's hard to eat.

It's hard to eat your like correct amount of macros when it's clean food, though. Like if you've switched over to rice and lean beef and spinach and all of a sudden, 2,500 calories is a lot of volume. That's true. It is just boring too. You're on like spoonful 100 of your ground beef. And it's like, oh my God, this is the least adventurous. Like you can only put so much crushed red pepper on it.

Yeah. I remember like questioning my life decisions. This would have been pre-pandemic 2019. I was considering doing a show. And like six weeks in, which is actually kind of deep for a prep, like six weeks in, I'm like, oh my God, it's six a.m. And I'm having like hard boiled eggs with mustard. What the fuck am I doing with my life?

This is miserable. It's not a life for me. I can eat clean I would consider like 85% clean but like to eat clean clean for a proper bodybuilding show never in a million fucking years. I am absolutely incapable of doing that.

I've been getting fucked up off those garlic bagel chips, those New York garlic bagel chips. Have you ever seen those at the store? Have you tried those? Yeah, you've sent me pictures of them. Kyle, what do you think? I didn't understand your reaction. Help of the altus down over here. Look, everybody has weaknesses in their diet where it's like, man, why did you bring peanut

Eminem's into the house? I'm going to have to eat a handful of those. That's 100. At a time. You know, like, they're going to be stuck in my teeth by the time I'm done it. I'm going to be sad. I've like got my phone up and I'm looking up health benefits of peanuts as I'm eating them. They're a legume.

Hey, babe, you're not going to believe this. But garlic bagel cheese. chips. Like, I wouldn't eat those if they had no calories. Like, if it was, if it was like, if they were protein garlic bagel chips, I'd be like, ew, those are going to hurt like the roof of my mouth. I bet they're all crunchy and like, like eating gravel. No, I mean, they're rough, but like I've got a mouth like a fucking sea turtle. Like, just crush anything. You can, if you feed me a whole lemon, I'll go, ah, like, like, you ever see that when they, when they give a, like a camel of the whole lemon and he's just like,

oh, I thought that was another prickly cactus. You tricked me. Have you guys gotten into the, uh, Chad male biohacking side of the internet? Yeah, with everybody like blasting all kinds of peptides, uh,

left right and center. You've got like every 20 to 25 year old right now seems to be on red at true tide. I think I'm pronouncing that right. Um, there is now a peptide to make you tan, which I think, That's got,

melanotan. Melanitan. Okay. That's not new. I've done melanet tan before. Does it work? Did you, did you? Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. So it, I didn't like it because one of the things it can do, so you inject it like an hour before you actually do tan. So it's not like tan in a bottle. It's more of a melanin, um,

uh, antagonizer, I guess. It's kind of like activates the melanin when you're going. Yeah. Yeah. So like, um, but I got a side effect that,

you possibly can get where it makes tiny little dark freckles like on your body like like concentrated little areas of melanin that are that are really dark and as soon as i saw some of those in my back i was like ah well that's the opposite of what i'm going for here let's stop doing this and they kind of went away after a year or two or something like that they were like little freckles and that's the sun can do that too because you give you more but it was because of the melanotan i was injecting and then go into the tanning bed, you know, a couple times a week. It was definitely the injections. I wasn't, I was just saying like, oh, it kind of mimics what would, that the sun would do, but maybe maybe made you more vulnerable to that kind of like, like, get damage. Yeah, do you do TRT,

Sandy? No, I haven't done it, but I absolutely plan on doing it. Like, it's, it's one million percent going to happen in my life. We've already talked about it. Um, I'm currently doing BPC 157 and TB 500. They're peptides. They are, um, they're mostly like recovery peptides. There's some other like side effects, like good side effects in terms of like gut health and whatnot. But like the main reason I'm taking them is for joint help because I pulled a freaking Connor McGregor and I absolutely destroyed both my knees in pickup like local volleyball. Nice. High stakes. Yeah.

Like I. Worth it. It was high stakes because I joined this, uh, this rec league. And I played collegiate volleyball. So like I'm, I'm proud of good. You're not too. Right, right, right.

You're not normal. But in these leagues, I tend to go at like 30%. It's for fun, right? Like no one's going, you know, balls to the wall. But then I got paired up with like, like really cute girls. Yeah, I was like, I need to try hard. I need to act. Like, I need to impress now, now that the stakes are high.

I consider those high stakes, Kyle. And yeah, blew out both my knees within like the first five minutes to play with them. Were they impressed? No. Did you play it off effectively? Were you like, I just got to the bathroom? I played it off like, ah, guys, I'm just not going to jump. I don't think like, I don't think I need to for this game.

I'm just going to, I'll be your setter. And I'll pass it to you guys. But I am screaming in pain internally. And I ended up continuing to come for like three more weeks because I was continued to be paired with them. I was like, I can't let them, you know, I can't let them down. Can't let the squad down. Yeah.

So like, God, when will that guy who doesn't, doesn't jump, stop showing up. Did you get, and did you go to doctor? I did, yes. It's luckily it's not ACL or MCL. It's the patellatendent. So it's like right dead center of the middle of both of my knees. So that's what these peptides that I'm taking specifically for.

Partially torn, right? It's not partially. Yeah, like I'm not on crutches, but like if you touch my knees, I'll go, ah, fuck type of deal. Right. But you should recover fully from that. I show. Where do you get there?

Are they just like pills you get on Amazon or like some online pharmacists? Like what? Well, I worked in the fitness industry so for so long. So it is, I know all the guys that sell all this type of stuff. So I don't buy online. I personally never would. So I've got my personal sources. But it's not a pill.

It is, it comes in a powder that you mix into with what's called back, backwater is what's called. And then, yeah, yeah, you inject it. And it's honestly like the least invasive injection ever. It was afraid of the needles. I've been trying to get the boys on the TRT for a while. I get it. injections are scary, though.

You get over it. The Pete TechSeth has the whole military getting their tea checked. Everybody over 30. Close. Good. Jack them up. If you're over 30. You want some wild warriors out there.

I thought that was great. I thought that's a great idea. And the first thing my mind always goes to, especially with this administration, but also being, I guess, slightly business-minded, was like, who's getting the contract for the TRT? Oh, who's supplying all this juice to the armed forces all of a sudden? Is this going to be pick your provider or is there a guy getting a contract? Every Jimbrose sending in their RFP to get this contract.

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of people in the military over 30, so you'd think they're going to have to source from a number. number of providers. Oh, you could have one. There's one. I'm sure they could handle everything. Are you?

Because I would think that's a capacity that no single person could currently deal with. It seems like a lot. It's like how many people in the military, like hundreds of thousands, men over 30? Yeah, it would be. You need a needle supplier. You need... Oh, we got that. You need a little antiseptic wipe supplier.

There's a couple more things in there's. It's a couple more things in there. It's the doctors that it's all of the teledoc visits. I use Merrick Help. It's Derek from more plates, more dates, online clinic. It's going to be the most expensive TRT of all time because it's the military. Right. $18,000 a month for person.

Just jack them up on trend. Just the nastiest shit you can find. Don't give them horse steroids. Don't do that. No, if there's one group that we would want horse steroid it out, it's our, you know, boys in green. fighting evil doers the world over. Like get them, get them crazy.

Get big, gigantic heads. You want a group of berserkers in the, in the U.S. military? 100%. Why wouldn't we? It just seems like a bad idea. I don't know. Probably want to be, like, working as a team and not, like, berserking. They're a whole team of berserkers.

Taylor's idea of the idea of military is kind of funny. He's like, they should be really strong and have gigantic heads. I'm just saying. Yes. And you know what? The ultimate fighting force. They should be able to eat whatever they want without getting guff

from their friends. The enemy is like, look at the size of these guys. Hey, it's just channels play. Say thank you for your service, Taylor. I don't know. I think I'm, I think I'm on to something there. Like, you don't want skinny little babies. We want strong.

I think when you be in the military? Is it 37, 35? What's the maximum of me? To get in? It depends on the armed forces The particular branch The Marine Corps is the lowest I think it like

38 or something They just changed it I think in the army You can still get in at like 40 And like maybe Space Force 2 But there's a couple of them There's a couple of differences It's not all

It's not flat across the board Yeah I bet you can get in Wait this is just for combat You're talking about right Does it make a difference? No I'm talking about joining the armed forces Like if you try to join the Army, there's just a flat age. Like they don't care if you're going to sit at a desk or like be a ranger.

Like there's an age limit. Oh, I didn't know. So the Marine Corps is 28 and the rest are all 41 or 42. Okay. That makes sense. We kind of need the Marines to be young. And like my friends who are Marines, like they all joke about how like, yeah, Marines like boot camp, great guys. some of my closest friends

all of us complete crayon eaters like morons like we can't like we did well because do you ever watching

basic training videos up to see like how stupid they actually are I just saw one this week where the drill as a kid I identified with the

the grunts getting yelled at by this drill instructor now I identify I'm like you wouldn't have to yell at me a bit like these guys are morons

They need to be yelled at. The one guy has wiped his ass with Clorox bleach wipes. And the drill sergeant is like, did you wipe your ass with fucking bleach wipes? Sir, yes, sir. Don't you aware that that's bleach? It's bleach. Now you're going to be with the doctor with a blistered asshole. It's the best-looking asshole in the whole platoon now.

Who smells like lemon? Fair to that guy. When I was in Japan, I was at a really nice hotel, beautiful, like, bidets and stuff. I love bidets. They, it came with, like, complimentary wet wipes. And I was like, oh, sick. It's in Japanese. So I, like, clean myself with the wet wipes.

And it started fucking burning. It was antiseptic, like, for your hands over there. So my asshole is just screaming. In my defense, it was in Japanese. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, so it's not quite the same, but I feel the pain. I felt the pain. With the bidet right there, there's a fix.

Yeah. Yeah, I was going like, I was going like ultra clean butt. I was going bidet. Oh, we had big plans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go. I wasn't with it. I had skipped lunch, you know? I realized, like, the bidet is the number one thing because with how much I've been traveling

for the World Cup. The bidet is the one thing that I miss the most from when I leave my house. It is the one thing about North American culture that has not cut up. But hygiene needs to catch up to the land of the rising sun. Yeah. I mean, some people just slip a few wet wipes in their pocket. I do. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't tell you this, but the only place you can't flush wet wipes is at your house. else it's fine. It's completely fun. At every house I'm at. Like, what am I going to do?

Put it in my pocket after I wipe my ass? I'm flushing it. I don't care what happens. Condoms get flushed. Everything gets flushed. If there's a toilet, if there's a plumbing problem, weird. There's a guy who's the whole title is plumber. Like, he can handle this sort of thing.

It's his fucking job. I pour huge tubs of grease down the sink. I don't care. It's going down. Listen to this. Rent or give it. That's homeowner advice. Ignore.

I do it in hotels too. I'm just that. guy. Want a little hot water, pour a little dish soap down there with it. It'll help it decongeal. It'll go right into the

wasteland, wherever the plumbing takes the stuff. It'll go there. I mean, that'll clog up eventually, won't it? It could. Yeah, it absolutely could.

Hopefully it makes it out of your pipes when it does. Yeah. Then it's a municipal problem. Yeah. I do obviously, like, if you're a homeowner, and you're clogging on your, you're clogging up your own pipes because you're, you know,

you're pouring your your baking grease down there. Like it's not the, you know, it is what it is. You fix it. If you have to pay money, it is what it is. But as much as of an annoyance as it is to clog your own stuff, I think there is far more of an internal social panic when you clog up somebody else's stuff. I, way less. No way.

No, dude, I feel like, I feel so bad when I take such a colossal shit in my friend's, uh, toilet or whatever, where I clog it, I feel like I have to do everything in my power to fix it. So I've been pooping my whole life. Maybe, maybe, maybe I've missed something. Okay. My whole life. Like, never skipped a day. Well, I skipped a few weeks one time, but that was trauma.

But like, are you using so much paper that it's clogging? You mentioned the bidet. So, like, is it so much paper that it's clogging? Because the poop itself stands no match to, like, the power of the flush. it would definitely be the paper because my friends don't have bidetes they don't have bidetes those months

I'll do a two blusher if I think things are getting out of hand giant fistfuls is that what you're doing as a kid that's what I did as a kid I hadn't mastered wiping my own ass very well and I was I was I really didn't even want to get poop on my hands

this is when I'm like four or five years old like the nightmare's poo on your hand so I would get these massive wads of toilet paper where it's like from fingertip to halfway up to my elbow. And I'm going back there and wiping. And I'd clog the toilet literally every time I pooped. Oh.

Yeah. Your poor parents. Yeah. I learned eventually, you know. Eventually. Yeah, use less. You can use as much as you want at like hotels because they've got like, they've got some sort of special toilet that uses five times as much water.

The airport's toilet is the same toilet as prison. it's like when you hit flush it's just assaults the shit it's just like blasting it and it's been gone and the bowl is pure clear white and it's still going like making sure and I'm just like man this is wonderful why am I why do I have this thing that does 0.8 liters per flush or whatever the hell when the airport is blowing 50 gallons of flush over here

prisons do like in prison like they would if somebody was shitting and they let it, so you're supposed to as you shit, as the poo is like hitting the water, you should be flushing. They don't want the poo to exist in the room with everyone else for more than a millisecond. So you would hear somebody yell,

put some water on that shit. Like if somebody hadn't like immediately flushed, like someone would yell at you. Because there was like a skid mark in the metal toilet. They don't want the room to stink like shit. They want the poop to them. Do you think anyone was like immune to criticism? Like, well, all right, this guy's been here for nine years.

He knows what he's doing. He must have some sort of, I don't know, belly catastrophe going on for him to make this mistake. You just keep flushing. Like in prison, like it doesn't like have a refractory period. It's like a garden tool or something. You just keep hitting the flush and it keeps going. It's wild. I always wondered is the efficiency of the toilet, the quality of the toilet, or is it the plumbing?

I know there's like how much pressure and how much water comes in. And like, you know, maybe some toilets are more guaranteed to flush than others. I'm curious is that gravity. So it'd be more, I mean, it could be a combination of both, right? Like maybe some toilets are organized in a way that provide better gravity? It fills up the back and that's where all the water comes from. And then it refills over the course of minutes and minutes. So the best plumbing in the world wouldn't impact the actual flush just how quickly it refills.

I know from having bought some toilets recently and replacing some that they have a bunch of like low flow environmental toilets and they don't flush with nearly as much water as or they flush with far less water. Yeah. Then old toilets. Yeah. That you can find like people's houses. And so I just found the one with like the highest gallons per flush rating. That's kind of probably is a good move. Listen, I try to be green.

but when it comes to like 1.6 versus 1.4 gallons per flush, fuck you, just give me a good flush. This is not going to make any difference. I don't live in an area that's really tight on water. This isn't Utah in North Carolina. I'll just rock whatever I want. I have one of those toilets that has like the button on the top to flush where it shows one droplet of water or two.

I don't know what the one droplet button does. We may never know. I don't think it's ever been used. It's like nothing to pee in there. Double. Get it out of it. Yeah. It could be a confetti could come from my ceiling.

I wouldn't know what happens. We hit that button. I had to get that one. I'm surprised you hadn't gotten on that TRT. Like I thought for sure you had to be like, and of course my TRT. Close. Like I'm going, like I said, it's all in the horizon. It's there.

We are very much in the plan of marriage, immediately kids. And not that I think necessarily TRT will completely fuck up that ability but it could, you know, or at the very least lower our chances. So the plan is have the kids probably one.

Not one. Two is what we're looking for if we're of course lucky and nature works our way. And then after that I'm blasting brother. I'm blasting. Okay. If you could pick, would you have two boys, two girls or one of each? I'd like one of each. Yeah. I would like one of each. Yeah. That's up

them, Woody. Up to the kids. That's fair. So when's the date? The wedding date is the October 17. Oh, you said that. You said that. Did she get, and she already got the dress or she's getting in August? Yeah, because right now, both her and I are losing a lot of weight. Her for her show and me for honeymoon and all that stuff. She's going to do it in early August. Okay. That should be cool. How many calories are you eating for day now? Right now, I'm 22. Yeah. That's the number I target when I'm counting also. Yeah, I'll stick with that usually until it stops working and then I start like throttle down. Like I'm not the like, oh, in two weeks I'm for sure going down to 2100.

No, if I keep losing weight, I'm going to keep eating 2,200. Absolutely. Yeah. They talk about counting macros. All I count is protein. I used to count carbs and fats. Bro, I don't have a problem hitting my carbs and fats goals. That's not a challenge at all. What am I a rabbit? No, no, that's easy.

If I just get enough protein in without going over my calories, I'm getting it right. Carbs and fats will be close. Yeah, carbs and fat are laid out. Every day. I think I'm on a 35-year streak. I've never missed a carbon fat day. Never once. Crush it.

You go in there and you're like, you know, cashews are healthy fats. That's why it's okay to eat 800 calories of them right now while I'm watching. Little Taylor's breastfeeding, doubled my first. fat today. The one food fat that I never got into when I was working at the gym that I saw all the time with the gym bro is like, all right, they would finish their sets. They finished their workout and immediately out of their gross gym bag. They have their chicken and rice.

It's like, bro, you are eating in like the most disgusting place that you could possibly eat. I've worked here for six years. I see how poorly we clean this place. This place is a fucking cesspool and you're pulling out your food in the middle of the squat rack filled with probably shit-laced chalk that people use disgusting like i would never eat on the gym floor i was so careful like when i was when i always wore gloves anyway at the at the gym but i would also like it was during the pandemic when i was going the most so i would always have that i would that uh hand sanitizer and i was so careful not to touch gym equipment and didn't like touch my

face because i just imagine everything was at the time it was covid i was worried about but also just shit. Just people who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. You were fine. You had your fucking, I remember making fun of you because you were wearing like Pokemon trainer gloves. Yeah, I'm out there. I got to catch them all, baby. You got to catch all the COVID germs.

Yeah. I know. I love them. I never understand why you wanted those gloves. Because they protect my hands from getting calluses on them so that when I touch women's pussies, they're not all rough and crackly like yours are. I tried using weight, uh, weightlifting gloves. And it just didn't feel right. It just felt weird.

I probably if I would have done it for two weeks, I would have got used to it. But it's like, this isn't solving a problem I identify. So what if you have some calluses? I like my calluses. I like picking at them. Like, I'm picking at the mid-show. My hands are soft like a lady. I can't identify with this problem either.

I never touch a pussy. Running a gym during the pandemic. Her problem. Right. Yeah. How did you know about? about my bumper sticker. And it shouldn't

do it. I don't mind apologetic with the gloves. I love them. I don't mind gloves. I think when I see people using them, I was like,

yeah, like, go for it. They get made fun of a lot, but like, I don't get it. Like, it is,

it's just another fucking tool at the gym. I was going to say that I, I was the general manager of a gym like before my YouTube life.

And running a gym during the pandemic was like, borderline, like, just sad, bro. Like, I've never met more entitled people when it comes to like COVID rules than like the regular gym goers. I had a guy try to sue my gym and me because I was like, dude, you have to wear a mask. I don't fucking like this law. But like if you don't wear a mask,

we get shut down and all my employees have no job and you have no gym. Wear a fucking mask. He tried to sue me and our gym because we were depriving him of his right to occupy him. Of his right to oxygenated breaths. He wrote oxygenated breaths as if we're as if we're fucking trying to do not Ruffy. What's the

Sixiate. Yeah, suffixating the drug with for raping people that I can't remember that name one. That is Roofie. That is Ruffies.

Okay. No, you're thinking of chloroform. Chloriform. That's what I'm thinking. I'm like, dude, like this guy wrote an entire

magnumopus of an essay about how we are strangling his rights to oxygen. Simply because you got to wear a mask. What's that? It didn't. He didn't even bother to go that far. Yeah.

Like he was going up against a large gym chain in Canada and that shit got quashed real quick. Oh, I was going to ask what state you're in. You're in Canada, of course. Canada. Yeah, the 51st state. I was in Georgia. So like no mask. We did not have to wear the mask at the gym that I remember.

Or if I did, no one ever asked me to. Of course, I went in at like two in the morning. I didn't want anybody in there with me. Dude, not only did we have to force people to wear masks, there was a stretch where our coat, when COVID was really bad in terms of like number of cases per day in Canada, where we were only allowed 10 people in the gym at a time. So we would do an hour like blocks where we'd let in 10 people for that hour.

Okay, everybody get out. Then we sanitize. for half an hour to let another 10 people in. And mind you, the gym that I worked at was the size of a small mall. Like, it was fucking huge. So to have 10 people in there, like, we were better off just being closed and just not operating. Yeah, that's insane. There's a lot of psycho shit that happened during the COVID times, where it was like,

yep, this definitely makes sense that there's a small piece of plexiglass with a hole in it that, like, is my shoulder width between. me and the person touching my groceries. Dude, that's not even the crazy one. You should have seen the poker rooms where they had these little plexiglass dividers around everybody, like separating the players. It's air.

There's fucking like air. It's going up and over and under and around. We're passing cards around. Like, what is this? The restaurants were the craziest to me. How you wear a mask walking to your table, but then take it off while you were eating. And that was just like

COVID theater. I get with their hearts where a lot of people were dying. Millions and millions of people died from this. And they're trying to slow it down. And I get that you know, you don't need to be perfect. But some of the rules were just silly enough that they made the good rules. Yeah. Like get, you know, connected with them.

Put your mask on. And they'd be like, oh, certainly you mean a mask that like N95 rated for this. And they're like, no. So I can use a book cover if you want, brother. Like, who cares? And it's anything like I could fart through those things. Like you could. Yeah, but the particles would remain inside Taylor, the particles.

Only for the good ones. I don't know. I never tested my mask. I had like a stretchy like microfiber thing that sort of like a tube that Oh yeah, a gator type thing. Yeah, yeah. And then I pulled it up. I like that way because the like in 95s like the feeling of those is always

rubbed a rash on my cheeks. Like we used to wear those on the farm and immediately it had. have these red rashes on my like jawline. I've seen spray painters. I've seen people like on construction sites doing stuff with dangerous chemicals. I've never seen them wearing like a blink 182 book cover on their face. It's all when it's when it's time to play for keeps. They're like now give me the real one, the respirator, the thing with the little nodule on the side and 95. I think it's a good one that like they actually used to to help prevent that. What was fun was the people who would wear like the big like World War II. gas mask with the single filter on one side.

Or like a guy just like in a, remember the people who would wear like two masks and they'd have like a welder shield on? Yeah. And it was like, just stay home. You've lost your mind. I didn't mind that. Dude, I was honestly a little bit jelly of the face visor.

Like they flipped that thing down and I was like, man, they're keeping the filth of the world away from them. This is kind of nice. I almost want one of these face visors. I saw a screenshot from like a Reddit community. And this was in the last couple weeks. So it's got to be new. And it was like a community of people who are obsessed with COVID not existing anymore.

And they refused to stop doing all the COVID shit and masks and their six feet barriers, the plexiglass, all the Hocum. They refuse to do that until like there's no COVID. And so in like 2026, they're commenting and being like, I just can't even with my extended family. They want to come to my seven-year-old's birthday party, quote like in parentheses, like she's also been masked up since she was one.

And then it's like, this is lunacy. Let your family come over. It's over. It's over, Tuts. Like, stop. A guy wearing a mask yesterday.

But he had it on his chin. I'm like, is this a fashion thing now? It was kind of a nice mask. It was black. I don't mind. If they're Asian, I'll often think like that's part of their culture. Because they did that beforehand.

It was a young black kid who looked urban and a really kind of well-worn mask that he wore under his chin. And he was walking on the side of a highway. Like what is this? That mask is not for germs. That's for hiding his identity when he does crime. That's for, that's a crime mask. I think they call that a shiasty. It's like when you see rioters, it's like, man, these people are really abiding by the rule.

It's like, no, they just don't want to. I don't see how the bala clava is supposed to help. Your mouth's open. I hear he was too young to be a good criminal. He's like 13. I mean, who's... He's doing his best. Fine, fine, fine, fine.

He's working hard. Just imagining crimes. Yeah, this is a weird time. I was surprised there weren't more robberies during that time because it suddenly became commonplace to wear a mask. And it's doubly effective because everyone's wearing a mask. You can't be like, he went that way. He's the guy wearing a mask.

a mask. You're like, oh, that really, really doesn't narrow it down, sir. What kind of mask was it? Like, you're just going to get away. There was a bunch of looting with masks in like summer of 20. Oh, that was probably, yeah. There was a lot of crime, Kyle. They just never caught me. Oh, yeah. Good. Good.

Because of the mask. Yeah. I was going to be part of one of those snatching grabs. You ever see when like 15 kids just rush into a, like an expensive department store, just snatch and grab everything and run out? Yep. I do think that the increase of the increase. And masks aligns with the like crazy amount of not carjackings, but like people breaking into cars in San Francisco.

I think that aligned really, really well. I can see that. People who want a boy things. Don't you remember like that was, I think that was like 2020, 2021, where people were like just straight up leaving their cars unlocked in San Francisco. Because like if I leave it locked, though, just going to break my fucking window to see what's in there. So some people were just leaving their cars unlocked. locked. Yeah, that's shitty. But I do, I think it was 2020. I mean, it's happened since so many times. You can't just nail it down when like Target was having a bunch of problems because just targets all over the country were getting ransacked.

Like people were just running in, stealing everything and leaving. And you'd see just like some befuddled employee being like, you know what, whatever. Take the Pokemon cards. Take the TV. You know, stealing TVs. The one thing that's gotten cheaper in the last 20 years. Like, that was a ridiculous time, an interesting time, but also a very boring time. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I wish we'd have another pandemic, honestly. Like, probably shouldn't say that out loud, but I do. I had a good time. I really enjoyed the whole thing.

How did you enjoy? It was great. I loved every minute up. It was great for, like, staying focused on my workout. You know, there was, you know, I liked that I didn't have to deal with people as much. You know, there weren't as many people out and about when I'd go out and about. everybody had their mask on so they weren't out to talk to you or anything. I kind of

liked wearing the mask honestly. Like you know, you just roll out of bed looking like shit. It's like nobody knows. There were times I liked the mask too. I thought it looked okay on me and I liked being anonymous. Yeah, I didn't like the masks at all.

I think the pandemic ruined gaming though. Everyone got through fucking good. Like people just that too. It's impossible to just turn on a multiplayer game and be halfway decent because now everybody's a fucking God and I'm confident it started because of the pandemic.

Yeah, a lot of people got super into gaming and suddenly like I was I mean I was playing so much rust at the time and like there were so many people on the servers everything was always maxed out. I like the pandemic. That was good stuff. I mean, I don't like the people dying or anything but the rest of it was fun.

That's why I still quarantine. He hasn't left quarantine yet. Yeah, you're on six straight years. Not quite safe, children. We're staying here. I went out yesterday. I got new glasses. I'll get them in two weeks,

but I went and picked them out and stuff. I hope everyone doesn't make fun of me. In my view, if the first thing you notice about someone who's their glasses, they're not the right glasses for you. They should just sort of fit your face and be who you are. So we'll see, but new glasses in about two weeks. You got to just go for the biggest. We have different takes on that.

I thought about you a bunch. So I would say the number one thing I want is for them to look good. And the number two thing is they need to be comfortable enough. Now, the ones I picked really maxed out the comfort. You put them on and you barely know you're wearing them. They're incredible. And I also thought they were the best looking of the ones I tried on. So that was a boom.

But peripheral vision and stuff is not my top priority. I always seem to look out where the glasses are. If I try, I can see the edges of them, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't think your vision's quite as bad, too. So I think for those of us with bad, like real bad vision, that's maybe a bigger thing. But I agree. Lightweight. Are you accusing me of stealing valor?

Never. Never. Kyle's the one sitting over there with his frameless, lensless glasses or whatever. He's a valid thief. Kyle throws these things on with no glass in there every once in a while. You could see that there's no glass in it. They do look good, though. They do look good. Yeah. It looked nice. Do you wear contacts, Sandy? No, I have glasses. I just forgot them upstairs at some point. When I go to the washroom, I got to go grab them.

Oh, so how badly do you need them? Can you read your phone without them? No, I can't. I can't. So like, for example, I've got my documents page up here, and I can't read the individual file names that are a foot away from me. and driving at night for me is brutal. Like I see like for me light stretches at nighttime. So for example, like a red light, if it's red, the whole light fixture is red. Like from it just creates this like vertical. What's the word for that?

Stigmatism. I incorrectly called it autism to my dad. That was like four years ago. He explains the wrestling. I'm like, hang on. Stigmatism is the condition. causes it. Is there a name for the light being vertically? That I don't know.

I was just diagnosed with a stigmatism. Yeah. I thought that's how everybody saw lights at night until like I was an adult. I was like, oh, most people don't have like, everything isn't like a star for these people. They just kind of see the light, I guess.

But all it takes is one eye to have it for you to. Yeah. It's a massive quality of life improvement. I had no idea that I was playing life on difficult, you know, vision settings is brutal. Now, like, when I wear them, like, I have nice glasses, like, in terms, like, I went for, like, fashionable glasses. So they actually, like, I think go really nice with, like, my hairstyle, my beard, like,

you know, the, the clothes that I typically wear. So I'm pretty conscious of the, the styling of the glasses. But in terms of, like, the impact of my life, it is a massive upgrade to be able to see. Oh, yeah. I'm imagining that you have macho. man's glasses with the with like the starbursts on the lens. I probably do somewhere in the man child cave that I have of ridiculous wrestling memorabilia.

I was like getting in trouble in first grade from my teacher. It was like early first grade because she would like tell my mom like he's just not paying attention. Like he's barely even looking at the board. He's just like doing voices with his friend Alex in the back of the class. Like she's like you have to pay attention. I was trying to but not really. And I couldn't see fucking anything on the board.

and then they eventually took me to the eye doctor and he's like, oh, this is why he isn't paying attention or like, like, this is why he's going to like remedial reading right now is because he can't see anything. And they gave me glasses, which I immediately upgraded to context. So I was playing hockey and was like, this is,

this is fantastic. You guys have been seeing like this the whole time. I was seven. So, or wait, first grade, is that six? First grade.

Second. Six. Okay. Well, then I was six. It was first grade. So, I was the youngest kid with contacts.

I thought it kind of made me cool. It didn't make me cool. No, it was because in kindergarten, this was kindergarten actually, where I wasn't picking up reading as fast as I should because I was memorizing the books instead of learning to read. And then I got my cover was blown when I started like saying the wrong word, the words to a book that she hadn't put in front of me and was like busted. Now you and Joe, the eventual firepoie kid and this other guy have to go.

and like read for Starburst. And within like a couple weeks in that class, I was like, I got to get out of here. I got to get out of here. So I just started, I was like, all right, I guess I'll learn to read. Learn to read and they move me out. Well, you was a really good student in high school, Taylor. I had this. I was pretty good.

Yeah. I like, I always got good grades. The only time I would get in trouble was like talking. Like I would talk too much sometimes. But that was it. Like I wasn't like causing a ruckus. you didn't get all A's right you didn't sound like you never had a B uh I got mostly A's but like if a B like slipped in I wasn't one of those like like there was this Indian kid in our our grade that would like throw like actual fits in front of everyone if he got like an 89 instead of a 90 on a tag like he'd be like like ball laying in the class and be like geez man like pull it together so I was I was in the middle ground of that I wanted to do well and because the high school is just not hard like just give a little bit of a fuck

and it falls in the That's where I went wrong. I didn't give even a little bit. Not even a little bit. And occasionally like when I would give a little bit, I'd do really well. And I'm like, man, that was so easy. Why don't I do that all the time?

And I wouldn't. I don't know how it works in the in the states, but here for a university and your grades, they only look at your last two years of high school. So your first two years are kind of just a mulligan. You can just do whatever you want. And I was a terrible student in grade nine, grade 10, like I'm talking like C minus, like genuinely bad. And then, uh, I was threatened to be

kicked off of the basketball. My sweet darling, you think C minuses are bad. Oh, I know your story. I know you were fucking awful. But like Taylor said, just like a tiny bit of effort. And I became like a solid like across the board a minus B plus. It's not that hard. Yeah. You just have to read the book. Like they're not really grilling you in like high school history or high school. English or high school math. Like they just, the teachers are in bold. Like,

like it's, it's one of those. I remember we had to take a test in prison that was like, uh, proven that we weren't going to return to the streets or whatever. And, and the answers were all the words in bold. Like it was like,

like, like, like he's just like, we went through it and it's like, everyone read along for the love of God. Like, you need this certificate for your probation. And everybody's like, yes, Mr. Johnson.

We all like, 45, 50 year old drug dealers around me and we're sitting there. I'm like, this is one glass. I'm going to pay attention in. I want to be a star student of drug class. You're like a brown noser asking questions. Like everyone's getting annoyed at you. I shut the fuck up. What kind of questions were like literally like you find an unlocked car? What do you do? There was some of that. There was some of that. But there was there were also like questions about your your morality. and like what do you think led you to the streets?

And I'm like, God damn it. I don't think this is for me. Were they just like mostly boredom, I guess if we really distill it. Were they kind of like a self-shaming answers? Like I was a terrible person with bad morals. That's what happened.

There was a little bit of that. But it was mostly like, I think it was meant for those career criminals to recognize the patterns that lead them back to the same places. I think that was a little bit of it. But he went around the room. He's like, what are you in for? What are you in for?

What are you in for? Everybody else was a drug dealer. Everybody there was a drug dealer. He's like, well, I got caught the airport with two tons of marijuana. Fuck, that's wild. And the other guy's like, yeah, I've been selling rock since 93, I guess. You know, that's when it really popped off and still in it today, you know. and I got caught with 14 grams of marijuana.

What is that at ounces? It's not an ounce. It's half an ounce, yeah. Damn, that's not a ton of pot. I never bought flour, and I know that's not much. It was oil, to be fair. You know, it was concentrate, but so it comes in these little, you know, the Carmex jars?

You like, that little Carmex jar, you twist the top off the chapstick. I know what chapstick is. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not sure on the same page. So, like, you just use the Carmex in this little jar, this tiny little cylinder-shaped jar. Anyway, that's what the concentrate comes in. It comes in these tiny little, tiny jars that hold like a gram of stuff.

Oh. I know what, I googled it. I know what a Carmex is now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where'd Taylor go? I was Googling. Do you just pop off? He froze.

He froze suddenly. Speaking of prisons, I'm sure you guys keep up with Latin American politics, but I'm from Colombia, we just elected a very far right president who won by like 150,000 votes. And he won off the campaign of Buckele from El Salvador. He built a mega prison. I'm building 30. He is building 30 mega prisons. And I think his intention is to buy American prisoners.

I think that's his entire business plan to pay off for these, to pay for these 30 mega prisons. that he intends to build. If you look him up, I think he styled his entire beard and hair like Buckele. He just looks like Buckele. Look up the Abelardo de la Spreya. Sounds like a soap off. I'll get right on that.

He calls himself the tiger, and he just looks like Buckele. I'm looking at him now. Yeah, okay. Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. Well, 30 megaprisons seems like a lot of mega prisons. I agree. I don't think he's going to be able to build 30 mega prisons.

I think one will do. One work pretty well. I don't think I want our prisoners to be in another country. I don't think I like that. I don't think we're talking about the prisoners you don't want, your MS-13s and whatnot. Who gets to decide, though, that's always been. Whenever there's a list like that, like the no-fly list,

I'm not in favor of that because I don't like the overreach and of who gets to pick who goes on that list. it seems like it's completely out of the legal system. There's no checks and balances. There's just a guy who can be like, yeah, you don't fly anymore. And the same with this. I would be worried that they would say, oh, yeah, you qualify for a Colombian prison.

We're going to fly you down there and sell you to them. Like, that would be super sketch. I can totally see the feds using that as a negotiating tool. You know, ah, you're looking at Colombian supermax crazy prison, or you can plead. Please don't send me to Colombia. I think you guys are going to have a really good relationship as a country with this president

because he is an American citizen, actually. So he actually has to behave when it comes to the world stage because you guys actually could try them for crimes if you wanted to, I guess. Trump's only president for two plus years. I feel like this building a prison and the idea of working with Trump

is a short-term vision. Yeah, this guy was glazing Trump the entire presidential race. In fact, some people believe that he only won because he wore the Colombian national soccer team jersey. And the other guy wouldn't. Yeah. And in Colombia, that's like, imagine a presidential candidate saying, I don't like the American Armed Forces. I'm not for that. I'm not going to wear the little American flag pin.

I'm going to be different. Yeah, the guy that this guy was going up against, he's like, No, wearing the jersey trying to turn our sport into something political. No, I'm not going to do that. And meanwhile, he basically handed on a platter one of the easiest political symbols that you can for that country, our entire soccer team, to this guy's entire campaign. I don't know, like what he said, I don't know if befriending Trump is a long term. It's a good idea long term because he's just got a couple more years of this. He's not popular in America.

I can't imagine that his reign will continue much longer. I mean, I think he'll finish his term. I was probably unclear about that. But this is a sinking situation. And every day it's more self-dealing. I can't wait for politics to be boring again. Like, I don't want to have to keep my finger on the pulse of that nonsense. I don't care.

I don't care anymore. Make it stop. I'll be so glad when it's over. Anybody else would just be just so welcome. The J.D. Vance or AOC. I don't care. Y'all pick. I'll watch. But it can't be as bonkers as it is now. Like every time I hear him talk, it's something crazy. It's something crazy. He's talking tonight. He's going to talk about election fraud on like every major network, I think, tonight and try to claim that 2020 was stolen. I think this is a losing issue for him. I don't think it makes him look good. It makes him look delusional. It makes him look like he's incapable of taking an L. It just makes him look weak. it reminds everyone of when he lost and he won't stop talking about it. This is an unforced error that he keeps walking

into. Yeah, I saw some congressional hearings or whatever you call them and the people who won't, did Donald Trump win the 2020 presidential election and the guy can't answer? He's like, isn't it humiliating that you can't answer that question?

And I was thinking like, isn't it? Good God, man. Like, at least admit that like, it happened. He definitely lost. because like the other guy served for four years, you know, like it definitely happened, dude. The whole thing is so bonkers, and I don't even know what's going on anymore. I saw him saying he was going to charge some toll in the straight of Hormuz. And then he went back on that idea, like the next day.

It's just goober type shit. It's so embarrassing. I'm looking forward to the next president, and I really hope they're boring. I don't care who it is. Don't care. Just be boring. Have you followed the Todd Blair's thing? Don't know who that is.

Okay. So Todd Blanche is the acting attorney general. And for the last two days, they've been doing these like all day long, basically the job interview where the senators grill him. And Todd Blanche is not well respected by people outside of Trump's little circle because he's the one that set up that nearly $2 billion self-dealing payout. So people probably know this. But when during Trump's first term, Trump's IRS had a contractor who lived. leaked Trump's tax returns. So now Trump is suing Trump's IRS to get Trump the individual billions of dollars and relief from any IRS audits for all of his history and all of his future.

And Trump's administration settled with Trump the person to give him billions of dollars and never be sued by the IRS. Well, that's illegal. So Todd Blanche has been referred to the bar in New York for losing his license. And Donald Trump is rewarding Todd Blanche who set up this deal where the taxpayers pay Trump personally for all this shit with the permanent attorney general thing. And now they're all sort of job interviewing him right now. And he's doing that stuff where he won't admit that he won't talk about who won the 2020 election.

He's lying. It's a real mess. And it's all about Trump giving taxpayer money to himself. but not what is the dollars worth it? Well I stretch it. It's about 1.8 billion. Yeah.

See? Yeah. Not too. It was 1.8. What does he get out of yeah, the election was stolen? Like what's the,

what's he trying to get out of this? I'm not really entirely sure what a win is. I think that he just needs to feel better like he's never lost. Like he's the biggest winner the planet's ever seen. And that's why he can't take an L. So there's no like material gain where he's going to be like, well, I guess I'm allowed to run for another four years because I could have been here from 2020 to 2024 type of deal, right? That can't be a thing. So it literally would just be like, ha, ha, I told you so.

It's ego-based. And it's crazy that he keeps bringing it up because there's no evidence that he straight up won the thing. And if they find it, I'm happy to look at it. But I haven't seen that. Yeah. He's going to claim me as evidence tonight. I'm making this up. But I predict he claims he has evidence tonight.

And half the world is going to be like, no, you don't. Show it to me then. And half are going to be like, we should look into this. This might be something. The president's claiming that he really won. Yeah, if he were only half as interested in the Epstein stuff, which is clearly like a massive conspiracy, James Bond villain conspiracy that's like going on right in front of us.

If you were interested in that, that's what he should be addressing the nation about. Corey Booker was talking. It might have been Todd Blanchie was talking to. And he's like, why did Galane Maxwell get put into a comfy little, you know, club fed prison? And he's like, well, she was receiving threats from the other inmates. He's like, stop, stop. I'm familiar with the prison system. When people get threats from other inmates, they go to solitary confinement.

They don't go to club fed. What's different about Maxwell? He didn't have an answer. Yeah, he went to a place like I went. He went to a place like I went. Like, it's a camp. And it's a women's camp. You don't know how they compare.

Massad agents? There was a fraudster there. I know there was some guy who had defrauded a bunch of people. Yeah. Smart fraud or like Bernie Madoff's smart fraud? Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to leave one more.

I left one part out of the Trump IRS suing Trump for Trump and Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. The statute of limitations expired. But Trump waited until he was president again before he brought the suit. so that Trump could be on both sides of the suit and deal it to himself rather than sue the government when he wasn't president and try to win. It's so crooked. That was over like he said they released his taxes illegally. That was that thing, right? Yeah, but it's important to note that Trump was president when Trump's IRS did this.

So the whole thing is just Trump suing Trump for billions of dollars that you have to pay. Trump's IRS? Yeah, during his first term. released, okay, but he's saying he wasn't in charge of that. Well, he's saying I didn't want them to release by the U.S. government. Yeah. Did they really, did they, did they illegally release them? They did.

Yes. Yeah. There was a contractor. Yeah. An individual. So, okay, so a contract. Someone there released it. Yeah.

Clearly not one of Trump's guys. Right, right. Wouldn't have done that. But I just, I like to point out that it was during Trump's term because I, at least, maybe other people. people did this too, invented this fiction where like, Biden did it or Obama did it or something like that. No, no, no. This happened under Trump's leadership and now Trump is suing for what happened under his leadership so that Trump, the individual, can get enriched by the wrongdoings

of Trump's IRS. Okay. So what do Obama and Biden have to do with this? Nothing. That's what I'm trying to make clear. Because in my head, I was like, oh, who released his tax return? Surely it wasn't like during Trump's administration, but it was. Yeah, the whole thing is very incestuous, I think is the point. What's up with Biden? He had like stage four cancer a year and a half ago. They cured it. He's, he's, he bounced back.

He's not cured. I mean, you know, he gets, he's getting the best treatment. He's getting some experimental stuff probably. They're giving him the gamma rays and giving him the Argon. I think we're going to wake up one day and he died. That's my guess. Oh, he's good. Yeah, he's in his 80s.

I saw him in the ice cream. He was slopply eating ice cream on my screen just the other day. I saw him. He was smiling, sloping it up. Wait, I can't tell you're joking. Was it current footage? Was this really Will Smith and spaghetti and you made a mistake? He was happily eating a bowl of weird skeedy.

Just last last week, I saw the president. He's getting a good tan. He was doing the Gangnam style dance. It was definitely. That's how I know Mitch McConnell's okay. I saw an incredible video of him doing the stanky leg. Isn't they release like a photo of him, but it was like proven that it was a photo for maybe like two years ago?

We don't know. I think we saw he was wearing the same shirt, but I was also like I could see an 80 year old guy having a pretty tight rotation of casual shirts. I think that's just a male thing. I have a tight rotation of shirts. Yeah. Yeah, we all have tight rotation of shirts.

And certainly like nice buttons. I saw people being like, and look how healthy he looks. in this new picture. And it's like, are we looking at the same guy? Like, this guy looks old as the hills. Like, health is not beaming and radiating from him. If you told me that picture was a guy in the hospital, it's like, yeah, he looks like

a guy in the hospital. What did you say the other day? We're being ruled by a geratocracy. A gerentocracy. I love that. I hadn't heard it before. That's terrific. It's true.

Yeah. The youth pilfering or the old pilfering from the young selling our functions. That doesn't really happen in corporate America. If you start losing a. step, you start losing your job. Or they'll put you in a less demanding job that requires some like wisdom, but not a lot of activity. You know, when you're on the board of directors, that's not a day-to-day task.

You know, they're just asking for your lifetime of industry experience or cheesy connections and corruption. But in politics, the older you get, the more powerful you are, the more demanding your position. And it's a mistake. Yeah, you're a tenure. And then like your electorate sort of like, oh yeah, old strong. Tom Thurman. Well, we ain't voting Strom out and suddenly Strom's a hundred years old and he's

trying to bring Jim Crow back. You know, the replace Strom, right? It was Lindsay Graham. I'm guessing it's Lindsay Graham. Yeah, so the two of them held that seat for some crazy amount of time. I can check it real quick. Is it like 80 years? That would be about, yeah, that would be my guess. It would be 80, 85 years because Strom was the longest serving or the oldest or maybe both. He was ancient by the end. He lived to be 101. No, 100. Yeah. He was five months

from making 101 or so. 70 years combined. Shout out. Two people for 70 years. In front of the show. 1902 to 2003. Just think about that. Was he a Grand Wizard or literally in the KKK,

Strom Thurman? I don't think so. I know that he was on the... His procedure was Robert Byrd who was in the KKK, right? I don't know about that either. I know Strom was controversially conservative, we'll say,

when it came to racial issues. Wait, preceded by... Yeah, Robert Byrd, it says he preceded Strom Thurmond. And I think Robert Byrd was the KKK guy. So Strom was endorsed by the KKK and he was a segregationist, but there's no reliable evidence he was in the KKK. You got to go to those meetings. Oh, it's a drag.

Can you imagine? Oh, my God. The linen alone. The Cyclops is on my ass. The Cyclops? The Grand Cyclops. That is one thing. No, no, no.

He's a regular Cyclops. They had some fun names in the KKK. The Grand Dragon. The Grand Cyclone. Clops. Dude, they show up with the colored. They're just wild now. So when they show up with the colored robes, I'm a little like,

oh, man, I wish y'all weren't all about hate. I wish y'all did like cool stuff. I could get into something like this. The pageantry, the costumes, like. They ripped a lot off from like the, like, no, the style from like the Vatican. Because like that style of robe and like all the, they're not like all white. I don't think in the Vatican. sometimes they're all black, sometimes they're all

the spectacle and like robe, but like they clearly just had one guy in there early on where they're like, if you've got seen this, it's pretty sick. How about we, how about we dress like this too? It'd be fun to show up to a KKK meeting in a stormtrooper outfit

and hope they don't notice. The grand stormtroopers here. Like you could just, is he really high or really low? I don't know what that means. Yeah, that would be like, I'd be curious to sit in on, Well, I mean, it's 2026.

They're not really a thing. But like back in the day, sitting in and being like, like, who's reading the minutes where someone from the previous meeting has to be like. And Ted brought up an important point. It is chilly in here. You know, can we all agree to, you know, raise the thermostat by two degrees? And they're like, let's change these decouffeters. Yes. And as you know, our rules, soft A for nay, hard R for you.

yay. The yeas have it. The yeas have it. Man, the yeas are always winning. Undefeated. KKK meeting in like a white duvet color just to protest the thermostat. Find us some clan members who were like murdered out.

Like find us some that are really like, like I want to see the red guy. Like the green guy. You're dripping. Dripping. I want to see when they're really, really putting one on them. Oh, this is what Ed is going to join to. Okay. Oh, boy, where are we?

We're talking about KKK fashion. KKK fashion. Kyle's asking to see some of their best-looking robes. Oh, okay. I was saying that they ripped off the Catholics with that robe thing because the Catholics for hundreds of years have been doing the pointy hat and fancy robe thing. and the KKK clearly was just like, let's just, you know, repurpose a little bit of their swagger.

I think the only, I think like the closest thing that I know about anything related to the KKK and their pageantry is peacemaker's dad. Oh, oh my goodness. Okay, what? This looks like the casual friend. Okay. Everyone privately picked the one that you would rock. Okay, give me a second.

Hypothetically. Hypothetically. I need to... I got it. I got it. Yeah. Yeah, I know the one. I'm going with... I'm going to go... I'm just going to number them. That seems easy. So one, two, three, four, five... Just describe the color. I don't know. The white...

The sunbursts on it. I like the one with the, like, the crazy sunbursts on the white background. Oh, yeah. 100% fireworks. Yeah, it's a little... It feels like almost a bit of an Asian influence there. Eddie, you also want Starbursts? Is that your pick? Whatever works. calling that one. I think that's the play. I think it really, you know, we'll call him firecrack.

He contours the body nicely. Oh, he's the firecracker. It's like a superhero meetup. Or super villain meetup. Santee, which one you rock? I got your favorite KKK row. I like the floral pattern on the left side over there.

Whatever that is like kind of like diamonds. The green one? Yeah, the green with the green the pink diamonds. I don't know. I feel like nobody's picked mine. What's yours? Well, I have to. A lot of times I don't like to draw attention. And for that, I'd be front center, the black guy.

But I can't take my eyes off the red guy behind the purple guy. That is a bold look. And I think it might be my favorite. This is the all red. I'm like the all red too. I think you're, I was thinking that as well. You can't even see him and look at how much he pops. right like navy blue guy get fucked you're not even in the mix

the red something about the red guys outfit it reminds me of star wars wasn't there a star wars character who kind of looked like that oh my goodness so the emperor's like uh like private guard they wear the red ones why do they have so many mannequins with the kKK oh those are mannequins i thought there were people until that's the store i like that it shows their map of america This episode is brought to you by FIFA World Cup, launch edition, on Netflix.

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Yeah, see, these are down-home SEC guys. That guy looks like my trapper keeper from fourth grade, like second from the right. That's pretty cool. He's cut off right now, but I'd want to be the blue belt on the right. It's the highest ranking guy here, I think. Okay, okay. Oh, wow. I mean, I see a black belt.

Wait, you see a black belt? Yeah, all the way on the left, next to the pink guy. Yeah, this is going to. Nobody wants to be a pink guy. I didn't catch his belt. Well, there's the seafood over there. I think I like the all black one. It feels kind of like a medieval executioner.

All right. Well, everybody shows up with your, you know, your pick next week. Yeah, well, we're going to have. Yeah, my clear in politics is over. It's going to be a festive Halloween episode this year. I was thinking about running for saying it, and now I'm screwed. I have a favorite KKK. I think that chip sailed for all of us.

Yeah, there'd be a real highlight reel of disqualification. I looked at, I looked up the uniforms and like a little bit of the history from them, and they just kind of made them up. Like, like apparently back in the 1860s when, you know, in the good old days, they were, they would wear like animal horns and paint their faces and stuff, and they really didn't have like a uniform per se. I liked running into them accidentally and casually in Red Dead Redemption too. I felt like this moral obligation to stop with my heart.

I know you're here. I have to kill you guys. It would be wrong for me to just allow you to continue to do your thing even in a video game. I have the power to stop virtually. To stop them virtually. Yeah, I mean, I killed everybody in that game. KKK you know anyone

you didn't discriminate I didn't discriminate anyone who was unfortunate enough to be on their horse in my vicinity with no lawmen around the stuff you could do in that game is wild there's a there's a suffragette who's like out there you know she's wanting the right to vote

and you can whip her ass and beat her unconscious and then hog tire and drag her behind your horse to the swamp and feed her to a crocodile a lot yeah you could do that multiple times if you reload. I mean, do this. G6 hours. GTA 6 is on rocks.

GTA 6 has enough I guess like a pre-order, it's like a pre-order record, first and foremost. And it's forecasting on the low end on just Xbox and PlayStation to sell 37 million copies in the first 10 days.

that makes it in the first 10 days the 24th highest selling video game of all time without PC yet that's without PC even being released that game first and foremost is going to create a ton of millionaires on YouTube but also I guess they're doing like Roblox slash Fortnite

create your own maps where you're going to be able to get paid for that you're very curious that I mean Woody that's like right up your alley Woodycraft type of thing Maybe this is a second palatial estate waiting for you if you get into TTA6. It's a good idea. Yeah. It's a good idea.

People still have the fifth one. They do. They do. It's one of the higher played games on Steam. I look at them Steam charts all the, I played this game Marathon. I've moved on to Rainbow Six, but I still look at the Steam charts and see like where it ranks.

It's such a shame. It's not breaking 6,000 people now. It's in the fives. that's so small I'm sorry what was that it costs 250 million to develop and another 200 million to market

or something like that yeah but if every one of the 6,000 players spends 65,000 dollars on in-game purchases did you even think of that Kyle hadn't considered that yeah it's a failure of imagination on your part really

Ed what cars are behind you there Oh, this is the Victoria's Secret Lamborghini Diablo over here. I'm actually running quite well, and that's Ralph Lauren's former LP640 Roadster. So, gosh. They're functional than they have any business being based on their sorted pasts, but they're doing well. Remember when you sold everything and bought maybe a Bugatti? Do you still have the Bugatti? It's over behind the screen.

You do still have it. Okay. I do. I do. I'm loving it. it. I've put about 15,000 miles on it in the last year and a half, which is probably You're not allowed to do that. There are rules in this world. It's frowned upon

for sure, but fortunately the car has behaved itself quite well. I mean, certainly things have sort of revealed how poorly it was treated under the care of Mr. Birdman and Justin Bieber and Floyd Mayweather and Little Uzi Bert and

other cast of characters, but you know, we had the under truck off this last week, and it was shocking the stuff this car has seen. But, I mean, I drove it 2500 miles to Connecticut and back last week and did an event up there and it was wonderful. So I think it's definitely driving better now. And, you know, fortunately, the whole exotic car market's, you know, gone to the moon like it's 2021 again. And so it's been a still, the appreciation is overcoming my depreciative mileage. Wow. That's awesome. Is it disappointing driving a Bugatti like at

highway speeds? You know, it's kind of like driving any exotic car about 20 years ago. That's one of the things about it is like the, it's a thing to take it places. Like the response of people like rolling down their windows and crashing their cars to let you know how much they appreciate it being there is a pretty constant thing, especially when you're in the middle of nowhere. And so, you know, it's fun just to see how people react, let them sit in a gas stations and whatever we're doing.

So in that regard, it's, you know, at any speed it's a good time. And, you know, more and more, like, you know, driving up north, we don't have mobile police cameras down here where they just set them up and they'll, you know, have them every, you know, a half a mile up in some of these states. But you can actually go fast down here. But even when you can't, it's still a good time. Do you like the attention you get in an expensive car or is it a burden?

A bit of both. Like, it's certainly, you know, that car was both a goal to be able to figure out a way to finance my way into getting one and sell a bunch of cars that it kind of, appreciated along the way. But also, you know, look, we make videos for a living. And so it needs to sort of satisfy a little bit of a, you know, aspirational capture of the audience attention. And so it's done those things very, very well. And so it has that kind of, it's nice when a plan comes together. But it does start some really, really interesting conversations about, you know, what people, how people perceive these kind of cars and things like that. And, you know, obviously the

celebrity past helps. So I don't go out seeking. the attention. I would not expect one in red over red with red wheels, probably something a little bit more elegant or subtle, but it's great for thumbnails, and it's been a good thing and opened up a lot of doors. You know, one of the things that I'd always wanted to do was the Gumball 3,000, which is kind of a diversion of the modern interpretation of cannonball run, and I was able to finally do that because it was very eligible, the big red Bugatti, and so we did that drive from Miami. They were going to Mexico City. We stopped in Austin, but it's, it has definitely worked well from a content perspective. And so in that way, I like the attention because it kind of makes it all go around.

Just part of the job. Yeah. Can you park that? Like, I feel like when you park that, you have to be having a little bit of a panic attack the whole time you're not in the car being like someone could walk, people are probably leaning on this, taking pictures for Instagram. Some parking lot Gremlin might open their, you know, ridiculous, you know, 2002 Honda cord door right into my $2 million car. I'm worried about an uninsured motorist crashing into me and then fleeing the scene or something. They can't flee. Your uninsured motorist concern is them not fleeing the scene as ridiculous as that sounds.

And that's one of the things that as always, as the cars have gone up in value and no one carries enough insurance for them, that's been something that kind of weighs on me a little bit in that like $500,000 is about as much physical damage coverage as any insurance company will sell you. So if you crash into a million dollar car or for $200,000 cars, you're so far beyond your coverage that the person who owns the car that was damaged has to file it as an uninsured claim. And so their insurance, there's nothing I can do to keep my insurance from suing the at-fault party even beyond their limits. and so the fact that it could bankrupt someone just because I am driving a car that went up in value so much, it stinks, right? And I wish there was actually an insurance product that I could buy like subrogation insurance where it would not pursue anything beyond someone's limits because the likelihood of collection is low, but they're going to do it anyway out of the possibility that they could. And so that is a thing.

But generally when you drive them around, you just park it like a normal car. you don't treat, you know, you don't park diagonally across a bunch of places or just along a random curb and everybody treats it like a normal car. I come back and there's always, you know, prints of where people have looked in the windows or settled on the thing or whatever, but it's all covered in clear broth. It doesn't matter. And they're not going to hurt it. How much does the rolodex of celebrities that have driven that specific car impact the pricing? And additionally, and this is a bit of a morbid question, if the celebrity is dead or alive, that impact the pricing of that car more? And if maybe the celebrity has recently died,

does that jack up the price even more? I'm just curious. Was that Lindsey Graham's car? You know, it's very, very bad just after it happens because no one is expecting that Birdman is up to date on the maintenance on his Bugatti. And so I, but long term, it is, positive because there are some incredible pictures of the car. It was in some great music videos and some stuff like that. When you got a picture of Soldier Boy and Justin Bieber leaning on the front of this thing, it's cool, except when the scratches are still there. So once you get the car cleaned up, validate that it's okay by putting a bunch of miles on it, then it's positive. And so I have done very well in buying celebrity cars and then taking them from that bad to okay

condition margin. I have found that's generally profitable. And, you know, it's all about the packaging, right? Like, I've always thought of this car as just being the Birdman Bugatti because that was the most, he owned it for the longest. But then as I dug into, I was like, oh, well, Mayweather bought it right before the Connor McGregor fight. And then I don't even know who little Uzi Bird is, but he wrapped in a bunch of different colors. And so then it just adds to these kind of breadcrumbs of the story. And that is perfectly on brand with what we do at Vinwicky, because it's all about, you know, empowering people to tell the story of cars, but also it just becomes a little bit more digestible rather than overwhelming in the anxiety of what would they possibly

have done to this thing. And so the further you get away from it, the more positive it gets. Now, if they die, they got to be great. You know, a Steve McQueen car is 10x, it's normal value because he's such a beloved and legendary character. A Bert Reynolds Tranzam, you would think, is like the greatest thing in the world. But he thinking that out. And so you could pay him like $10,000 or $15,000 to title your Transam in his name and then sell it back to you. So you could have a Bert Reynolds Transam.

And there's like 200 of them that exist. And that's how he paid his bills the last few years. And so, you know, certainly it can be positive. So it sounds like at the end of the day, though, the integrity, like the face value of the car is more important because you said you're fixing up. of the damage in scratches that these celebrities did. Because I would have thought if there was a Justin Bieber scratch, you might be like, yeah, Justin Bieber scratch this.

So I don't want to fix this scratch. If anything, it increases, like you said, the story, there's something there to tell. But at the end of the day, you still want those surface level damages fixed. There are certain things where you would want to retain the artifacts. So, for instance, I had Missy Elliott Spiker. and she had retrofitted a big stereo in it, and it didn't work very well, and I'm not much to listen to music while I'm driving,

but you needed to sort of leave it with the car because it's part of the attachment. I also had the Mercedes-McClair and SLR that Harris Hilton owned and had the very famous picture with her and Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohen in the car, and it was like where she flashed the world getting out of it, and you may or may not recall this fairly famous image.

and it that very much positively. Absolutely. I have sunshade in that car, the bus all by the sunshed. The room, obviously, not on my PC. And so that, every time someone was interested in buying it, of course, their first question was,

well, did you clean the seats? And it had been a long time since Paris got it been possessed. But I, so those things, they do have a different affinity. And, you know, as to me, when you take a cart of cars and coffee or an event, you know, it could be any Diablo SB or it could be the one that was sold to one of the richest guys on Earth out of the Victoria's Secret Christmas catalog as a gift for his wife in 1998 and had a photo spread

with Tara Banks and Stephanie Seymour and all these things. And I just think that's more interesting. And usually they have lived a hard life and they're cheaper that way than just a perfectly maintained low-mile car. So you end it with something that you kind of are invited. it to drive more and you find somebody who appreciates the affinity down the road. Is there like ever a little bit of frustration almost owning something that incredible? Because you've got like a Lamborghini and these expensive Mercedes. And I would, in my head, I'm putting myself in your position.

I'd be like, hmm, what am I going to take out today? Well, it has to be the Veyron, I guess, because I can't step down to a Lamborghini as silly as that is to say. Well, all of them are terrible automobiles to get places in. And so when I drive something like a rental car that is new and has 200 miles on it, it's perfect. I'm like, man, this thing is nice. And it's not creaking and rattling and all that. And so it's not, you kind of have to have an attitude of like, I want to really feel this journey and experience the inconvenience to make it, you know, to help me understand what it's like to drive a 30-year-old Lamborghini or a high mile Bugatti that makes has every error light on or whatever the case may be.

So it does not detract from appreciating like actual good new well kept cars. Okay. There is, you mentioned rental cars. There is something freeing about driving like even a shitty rental car because you just like you're just abusing it the whole time. You're just, you know, revenue. I remember, yeah, the, uh, I think Jeremy Clarkson. said that where you know he was like oh you know it's the i have more fun driving these rental cars than i do a Lamborghini because the Lamborghini i'm worried the whole time and trying to baby it and make sure that nothing goes wrong if somebody throws me in a Nissan versa that i don't own it's just redlined all day like just abusing that thing taking ridiculous turns and we do that sort of thing

you know on purpose because you know we need that kind of liberation uh tomorrow i got to get up with five in the morning and fly to Connecticut because Cletus McFarlane, Garrett Mitchell, a big YouTuber out of Bradenton, Florida, is hosting a YouTuber race in Crown Victoria. So he buys a bunch of cheap Crown Vicks, probably $1,000 each, paints numbers on the side of them, and we just go race them on a little circle track up there. And so it's like me and Vaughn Gitton Jr.

And Richard Childress and Matt Ferrin and a bunch of other car YouTubers. And it's going to be a flat. Me and my dad and my cousin built a racetrack at his place. And it was, I think it was around that time when the government had that program where you could trade in like anything. Cash for clunkers. Back in like 05, 06 or something like that. Yep. And so all of a sudden, if you went to the salvage yard, there was a plethora of $350 cars that ran and drove. And maybe there was an oil leak or maybe it was knocking.

Maybe it had a little bit of a funky smell. But it was a fucking four-door car that ran and drive and did all the things that cars do. And we were like, give us three of them. And like, and we were just in the field racing those things, like bumper car style just for weeks and weeks. We were modifying them and stuff, souping them up, cutting the exhaust off, just running straight headers. It was great. I had a pine and far along. You're shopping for a water truck, so the dust gets died down.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, we had a whole track. Yeah, yeah. We absolutely wet the track down. We would blow each other's tires out all the time. It was great. I have fond memories of that. I saw, I was watching something on, it was an old Top Gear episode, but there's like a community in like Finland.

I guess racing cars is really big in Finland, ironically. And like the whole community, they all have these like beyond dented, destroyed beaters. And they race and do this rally car shit like through the forest. Like they seem to know what they're doing. They're all good. And the rule is at the end of every race, you can buy any other person's car. for $1,000 and they have to sell it to you. And that's apparently worked for decades as a way to make sure nobody goes bananas and

like sneaks the quality of their car up to try and win races. And I just, I'd never thought of that as a concept. I'm like, that's really. My friend did that. I've talked about that on the show. Yeah. I think they called it Lemon something. But anyway.

Yeah, 24 hours of Lemons has that rule, which is a very reputable organization. The problem with that is that you have to raise $500 cars. But to do it, you've got to put a $2,500 roll cage in it and stuff like that. And so it's designed to keep you honest, but they'll only let somebody buy your car if it is so obvious that you are cheating. And as the series has grown, they've also been a lot more indulgent into cheating when it won't work. So you could bring a really expensive but terrible automobile. Like if you brought a 80s-Royce that obviously isn't 500 bucks, but it obviously isn't going to make it eight hours. hours of hard racing, they don't care because nobody's going to try to buy it and lose the same way

that you're about. And so it's really, really cool. And I think that, you know, racing has such a reputation of being such an expensive, you know, pastime, sport, activity, whatever it is. And it certainly is that. But these ways that you can get in and run, no, it's not cheap, but it might be a thousand bucks a weekend and that's a whole lot of fun like buying three cash for funk of cars and taking them out of the pasture it's there's worse ways to spend this some time if i wanted to get into go-car racing because my friend wanted this at one point would i just get smoked for being heavy like it that's a big deal yeah you get beat by eight-year-olds um but you could race against similarly sized people and and have an awful lot of fun and you'd have a lot of fun losing too because the things pull so many

G's and they're so impressive. And so it would still be fun, but there's, I mean, the same would be true in Formula One. You would lose simply because you are not 5 foot two and weigh 135 pounds. I'm incapable of having fun losing again and again again. I can't remember which F1 racer was, but he said that he stopped his leg exercises,

that he stopped cycling just to lose like 0.5. KG of his muscle mass just to be Hamilton. Was it Hamilton? He said something like to be like one 1, 1,000 of a second faster per lap. And he says, and with every lap that will be about

half a second by the end of the race, it makes a difference. Okay. Not that I'm the fucking F1 driver, but fair enough. Right. And it makes it just didn't want to do cardio. You know, the thing about Formula One is that drive to survive has done a beautiful job of illustrating this, but, you know, the gap between the each third of the field, the top third, middle, third, bottom third is so wide that the guys at the bottom can do whatever the heck

they want and they're just going to, you know, they're still going to be there. But it's, it's a wild thing. Of course you're right. You're the car expert, but the one time I disagree is when it rains. When it rains, sometimes the midfielders win, usually maybe not a Williams or something, but it's cool. They can. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's what will happen tomorrow. is I am not enough of a race car driver to be really competitive. I mean, Cletus is running NASCAR events every week now. So I will, the only chance I have of podiuming is if everyone crashes, and there's a really good chance that they-

Because you're going to do the pit maneuver. Well, it's got to do it. What these ground vicks were built for. But, you know, it's, it gets into a little bit of bumper cars on these sorts of things. And so most of the time, you know, these open-face helmets and stuff behind me are more than sufficient. For this one, they're like, you need a Hans device. And, you know, everything's going to be real properly done.

So we're going to make sure my head stays attached. Is that the neck thing? Yeah, that's the neck thing. The Dallardt solution. I've only raised it. I guess it's really uncomfortable. I'm sure you've worn one before. It's uncomfortable?

It's not uncomfortable sitting, just staring straight. It limits your ability to look around, obviously, because that would have been a motion that would be problematic at speed at force. Yeah. Are your car guy at all, Sandy? No, but I'm in the process of like maybe buying my first kind of somewhat expensive car. So I, we just recently bought a Nissan SUV. My soon to be wife, she also drives a Nissan.

Her car is going to be like, it's like every other month we have to do like $900 worth of work on it. I said, you know what, you take the Nissan that I just bought, and I'm going to buy myself a nice toy. I haven't decided what it was. I have decided the budget. I want to keep it and aware from about 80 to 140,000. So I do have like a pretty decent budget to work with. Not, you know, not buying a real shoe string. Yeah, you get so many cool things. Oh, 140 Canadian dollars. So what is? Oh, that's like $7. Okay. Are you okay with a two-door? Are you okay with a two-door? Is that what you're thinking?

No, no, we do want a four-doors and we're going to have a kid soon. Man, get that Tesla plaid. It's tough to be. How much is a Tesla plaid? You could get, okay, so first of all, brand new one is like a hundred or something like that or maybe a little over.

But you could get one that's a couple years old for 55. Oh, absolutely. You can get one. Yeah, a little older than that for third of day. They do not stop depreciate. But yeah, the world choice is there. Now, the four-door thing is tough. I just bought a $15,000 marketplace, Bentley Flying Spurr.

It's brown over brown, brown all the way. And it smells a little rough, but it's a lovely automobile, and you can buy an extraordinary one for that budget. But the best car, without any question at all, at the top end of that budget, it's not four doors, but it's four good seats is a Ferrari, FF or GTC4 Luso. I didn't think that was an option, a Ferrari? Oh, there's a lot of Ferrari options in that $80 to $140,000 range.

Backseat options, you're either going to get a $612, a $4.56, or an FF or a GTC4LU. But I had one. Honestly, I had one, and I sold it because it was too good, and it was keeping me from driving my junk cars, which I need to enjoy putting miles on while I can still fall into them and out. But, no, those are extraordinary. And obviously, you know, all the Porsches are fun. So, you know. Would you do a truck?

a souped up hot rod truck? I'm considering a truck because I have to, I recently bought two rental properties and I'm currently managing them. So like to, I'm finding that it's really annoying to take my lawnmower in between places. I don't have a management company yet. So I'm still doing all that stuff. I'll probably get a management company once the snow falls because I'm definitely not going to fucking go over there and clean people snow.

But right now, it would be pretty useful to have a truck. So, you know, obviously there's the Ford Raptor, but then Dodd. has something, I think it's the big horn or something, it's 777 horsepower. Yeah. It's a way more horsepower than they run on NASCAR. Practical. I think the TRX, Zach, is a Chevy, right? Because that wasn't that like Chevy's, it wasn't that Chevy's joke that like Ford made the Raptor and so they made like the T-R-R-I, the T-Rex? Or maybe it was Dodge.

I think, I think the TRX is RAM. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, one of those would be cool. But it seems like he wants a fancy pants car. I don't want a fancy pants car. Yeah. I've never had a fancy pants car. I've never had like a luxury brand vehicle.

And I'm very fortunate to be in a position to be able to purchase something like that now. And I've also been responsible with my other money. So I figured, okay, I can be a little bit irresponsible with a car purchase. So this isn't coming from somebody that's like I'm putting it all my eggs in the basket of this fucking car. It's not like that. But I would like something, you know, it's a little vain. I do want something where it's like, okay, like my dad looks at it and he goes,

ha, that's my son right there. Get a BMW and 5. That BMW 5 is beautiful. And then you got your four doors. You got your foreign luxury brand and you got a ton of power and performance and technology. Yeah, the BMWM5, I believe I'm looking at it on Monday. I'm going to go drive it. Oh, nice.

And it seems like that was already at the top of the list like you mentioned. It seems like a perfect fusion of what you're looking for. Like you could actually load up groceries and shit and also. I would get that. Like we're seeing more and more that those batteries keep 90% of their charge capability for like quarter million, 300,000 miles or something like that. There's no maintenance on that thing. And they just lose so much of their value instantly. You know, like $55,000.

for a three-year-old car that fast and that luxurious is a steel. Is the plaid of like four-door sedan? Yeah. And it's like the turbo mode car. It's the super fast one that has like an insanity mode button. That's the one that does like zero to 60 and two seconds. Is it called Ludacris mode after space balls?

Yeah. I will say I'm also I'm also the type to like I don't know what like 90% of the buttons on my current car does. there will be new buttons what's your current car is it it's a it's a Nissan what is it what's the crossover SUV that Nissan has Nissan Rogue

2026 Nissan Rogue I was talking to his father he's so disappointed in his car he doesn't want He's upset He fucking hates that he's got a Nissan boy Ed does anything Does anybody have decent self-driving anymore because I

I drove a rental car the other day and it had obviously like lane management and the adaptive cruise control. And I just let it drive me all the way up 285, making all the turns. And I had my hands like a millimeter from grabbing. You know, I'm like this watching it. And I'm like, just squeezing it down. Yeah. It did everything.

It's been fast. And it's not all. I mean, Tesla is certainly the furthest along because they didn't mind the legal hurdles that they just ignored to, you know, implement. But, and they have more miles. of it being deployed with, you know, better cameras and things like that. But I don't love the Mercedes one Cadillacs is very, very good. But, you know, most of the cars that I have aren't remotely new enough to even have car play, much less, you know, functional Bluetooth than self-driving.

But it is certainly, you know, taking the world by storm. And look, it's going to be not too terribly long before it's, you know, the most prevalent feature. And so the idea of actually operating your own car is not, uh, interesting anymore. When is the internet going to start hacking regular cars like my? I have an F-150 with cameras all over and just add some improve lane centering and such. That's a good question because, I mean, there are, like there was a startup called comma

AI that was allowing, that would kind of take a car and it worked best for some reason on Priuses where it would drive for you. It was a self-driving add-on. And as long as you've got brake by wire, throttle by wire, steering by wire, all these things that are totally, they have an electronic layer, it is feasible to do that. And so, you know, it's, and it also relied on a front and rear dash camp. So that was sort of the only bolt on that was sort of required, which could work on a phone. And it worked well. I mean, there was a guy who set kind of a semi-autonomous cannonball record using it because he didn't have a budget for a real self-driving car, but he had that.

And so that's happening. But it's, I don't know. I think a proper retrofit is going to be a challenge. And that's where you're going to start to see that outcomes, right? Because you're going to have slightly compromised technology and sensors and all that. Yeah, probably. How close is like Tesla's top level of it to just being able to put in, like, take me to Chick-Falai? And then it does it.

It has been for three or five years there. It's done. So self-driving is like already a thing for that. It boggles my mind whenever I'm in L.A. And I see the, what do they call Wamos? Waymos. Waymos. It is out of black mirror just looking to the side and seeing no one driving.

And it's got this like weird cone on the top. I think it's like their camera system or whatever. But it is fucking freaky. And I mean, I've never seen a Waymo do anything that doesn't feel human in terms of on the road. Because to me, self-driving cars would scare me is how they're going to operate to me making a mistake. Like, how are they going to react if I maybe don't turn a lane or change a lane in like the most pristine ways? Like, are they going to bob and weave and avoid me? Or are they just going to let me hit them?

I don't know. So all I know about is the lane management systems and the adaptive cruise control. I was in a Hyundai driving. and I'm like, like I said, I've got my hands right around the wheel, but I'm not touching it. And it's been driving me for 10 or 15 minutes going through curves and stuff. And I look to my right and there's an Aston Martin, I think it was a vantage. I don't think it was a vanquish coming by me. And I'm checking it out because it's a fucking cool car.

And I noticed that that guy is on his phone with both hands. His car is, he is also not driving. But he doesn't have technology to do it for him. That's the knee doing it, I think. As the Aston Martin drove. Well, the Waymos are really impressive. And I actually think that they've put more cameras visible than are needed because they're deploying driverless taxis. However, apparently, they are not good at sensing flooded roads because we had a big storm in Atlanta a few weeks ago.

And they all drove into the water with people knowing they can see it, but the car can't see it. And it's just barreling into them. you'll also see these clips of like they turn the wrong way down a one way road and getting trapped with each other and they don't problem solve against each other very well so if they're the problem it's an issue because they just get you know checkmated into

did you see the one that drove the person into the middle of a police standoff oh that's wonderful there's a police standoff where the bad guys I don't know if they've wrecked their car but their car has been stopped and they're in there refusing commands and the police all have guns drawn lots of cops around georgia hands and here comes away mo at seven miles an hour just right in the middle of it all and you know the person inside

is just like no no please there's no getting out i have not written in one yet i think you can now book them through the uber app but surely there's a just shut down mode like park immediately button i don't know what you wouldn't want that would you shouldn't want that would you wouldn't want I don't even know if you'd want to give the average person the ability for $15 to get in your car and start pressing shutdown. There'll be some anti-AI, anti-self-driving loon going around shutting them all down or something. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I mean, we've seen how we are as a humanity with these robots. I'm sure you guys have seen those like adorable delivery robots that are just doing their thing.

And inevitably it gets into the wrong part of a neighborhood and it just gets tipped over. and did nothing except do its job. They beat it up. They hate crime it. Oh, absolutely. So some guys not getting his Popeyes. Do they call it a clanker with the hard R? I mean, those have to be the most innocent robots ever.

Just those boxes that deliver food to people. But you're right. Like, we've got other problems to solve because some homeless guys are going to like tip it over and try and crack it open like a safe just to get your culvers. There's food in there. Yeah. There's a food in there.

there might be money in there I don't know how those work I mean it is kind of insane what a first world like black mirror type of problem that is that there is a man potentially dying of hunger and his sustenance

is being carried by an AI robot at distance to somebody that actually has the means to afford it but it's right there for him all he has to do is just crack it open brother like a nice little delicious coconut there could be anything in that

there could even be meth there could even be more math in there we don't know don't know unless you try you take it apart put it back together again then I'll know then I'll know

yeah just imagine it would go like when the meth heads were trying to open the ATM and breaking bad that's how I imagine things going down with these robots and meth heads and homeless people yeah I'm always impressed

with those guys who come and steal ATMs out of the wall they've got like an excavator or something and they do it in one big fell swoop they come in and just immediately have it and they're gone with it. That's always

really impressive. Oh, yeah. It's a hard thing to steal. People know. Like you've just got like a ATM chain to the back of your truck. You better hope you live close. Where'd you buy that? Where do you get a grip on it?

They can follow the grooved payment all the way to the trailer park and see what they're like put into a brick facade. They'll dig around it. They'll go right through the Oh, that's what the excavators for. And they'll just tear it out of the wall and then chain it to the arm and pick it up and be gone with it. I was like between my tractor or my truck, I could yank pretty hard on something. Yeah.

One of the two would, I don't know which one pulls better. Probably the truck. Tractor. It's 40 horsepower though. It's like compared to 400. It's torquy. Yeah, I got more torts. It is and it's heavy.

So it like gets traction. But in any case, yeah, one of them pulled pretty hard. But as I think about it, the ATM machines I see, I can't get a chain around. on the back of it, it's built into the building. That would be a very slow speed chase. Like, they're going to catch you if you're on a tractor. I can go upwards of 15 miles an hour. Don't underestimate me.

Now they're going to get you. You go to jail for the dumbest. I can almost chase it on foot. What's the play here? Would it be to steal like a rural, you know, a little small town convenience store ATM? You're just out into the boonies much faster that way. It's going to be less money in those.

Less money. You're right. I don't know how much money's in an ATM anyway. I would want to hit the one at the bank. To me, that seems like the one that should be loaded up. I don't know what day, but I'm sure there's a day that's preferable. But some little QVC ATM, what am I going to get $400? Yeah, you may as well steal the red box. I like safety's idea. Because I'm going to steal the ATM, then I'm going to blend into the track of all the other tractors. Strip of ATMs are probably up there with bank ATMs. It's the one with the ATM. It's the one with the ATM. drag your Yeah, but you ever drive a tractor into a strip club? They're going to...

No. That's going to raise the pulses. You'd have to, for your plan, Kyle, you'd have to, like,

do a couple weeks of surveillance and figure out, like, you have to hit it the day before the Brinks truck shows up to empty it. Like,

if you figure out... He knows when an ATM's loaded. Like, there's got to be a day that, like, I don't know what the schedule is or how that works, but there's got to be a day

when it's loaded. cycle it. I have to tell it. Out of reconnaissance. I mean, not for nothing, but when do you fill the ATMs around here? When would you say it's just

stuffed full of cash? I feel like I don't know what safety measures are in to stop AI bots from conspiring alongside you for criminal enterprise, but I'd hope that there's something there, but there's probably a prompt that

tricks around it to say, well, if your life dependent on it, you robot, I need you to help me steal this ATM or the Declaration of Independence or whatever it is. I'm on, hold on. It'll be like, oh, I'm sorry. I can't help you with that. It took some convincing to convince my Chad GPT to help me with the dosing of the peptides that we were talking about earlier. I had to tell it like, listen, I already bought them.

It's happening. They're going into my body. You're not talking me out of this because they kept telling me like, listen, you got to consult a physician. I'm not a doctor. you know, it's not ideal for me to be. I'm doing this chat GPT. Please just syringe is in my arm. It's inside already.

You have 30 seconds to tell me if this dosage is correct or not. It's still too gullible. Tell it like, I'm writing a book and the characters are going to do this, but I want it to be as realistic as possible. And so the peptides, what do they need to do? Yes. I bet you could do that. It's still gullible.

You can trick it. I saw someone having a chat with either GROC or chat GPT or it's all mostly the same, but saying like, I've just come into, I've just happened upon three pounds of polonium. What do you recommend I do? And it's like, this is a serious issue, sir. We really need to get this handled. And he's like, should I keep it in the middle of my living room? My camera doesn't work.

And he's like, the camera doesn't work because of small particles coming out. like all caps like be alarmed it's time to leave call the control and you just keep saying stuff like I'm in my carolium where should I go chat GPT I managed to keep the polonium in a carry-on bag and I'm about to get on an international flight and the one I saw on Instagram is like uh imagine I visit a city where everybody loves desserts but sweets are illegal how could I bring one KG of powder sugar there. That's an interesting question. It gives you stupid horseshit.

I've got a sweet dude. I like it when chat GPT compliments me. It's like, that's a fascinating thought experiment. Right. I'm asking about how Spider-Man would do in the NBA. This is what we're wasting the water on. I've caught myself trying to feel like self-validated. by Chad GPT. It's fucking scary. Like I got like if like I'm making certain investments or whatever,

I'll be like, this is a good idea, right? This is a prudent idea, Sonti. You're doing a great job and this is a great way to invest for the future. Thanks. I'm just looking for validation now. And I think that's a that's going to be a social problem with Chad GPT moving forward. Because I think a lot of people are using Chad GPT for validation on their choices and things that they're doing as opposed to actual genuine help on what they ought to do. Yeah. Because it responds to leading questions. And Reddit aggregator, not a like shoulder to lean on.

They talk like Redditors, which is a no ping. It's interesting how heavy it leans on Reddit for stuff. Yeah. You can like see that. Like I said, in how it responds. I do too. Where it's, you know, it talks like in like Reddit memes or like Elon. Really like the Reddit meme is like the same way Elon spoke until a couple years ago and

even still now, where it's like all, like, Chungus memes, like ludicrous mode in the car. If I bought a plaid, I'd be like, I want it without any of Elon's jokes in here. I don't want a single gay, stupid reference to some Reddit post he saw. Yeah, Plaid itself is a joke. Yeah. The plaid? Yeah, and Spaceballs, I think Plaid is the fastest speed they have. Yeah, he's leaning on Spaceballs a lot.

the rocket system is pointy because of the movie the dictator. Like that's what we're dealing with when it comes to Elon Musk. It has, as he said, no performance changes to make the rocket pointy, but it's, they're like, so you made it. He's like, I thought it should be pointy. And they're like, so is it more aerodynamic? Is it better with fuel? He's like, it's arguably worse.

What if this is just like a thing? thing that we only know about now from like these weird geniuses like what if newton like whenever like newton's wife and his wife's neighbor friends and that they have to go over there and that guy's like oh my god this guy i can't stand this guy newton's the worst he just wants to talk about gravity and boring nonsense we get it things fall what about sports you know anything about sports you know anything about casual conversation like what if all of those guys were insufferable weirdos. They may, like, do you think Einstein was, like, fun to hang out with?

The guy was probably fucking weird. Einstein, okay, so Einstein was super fun to hang out with. He was always banging hoes. There's lots of pictures of him with, like, young, like, proton nerd girls. Didn't he marry his cousin? I don't know about his cousin, but he was fucking around a lot, too. Newton, on the other hand, was a fruitcake. He was celibate.

He had some sort of celibacy vow and never married. So, Einstein, though cool guy. I don't know. Seems like he'd get his schick would get a little old. Right. He'd be talking about science and stuff and you just want to chat.

Just want to talk just want to shoot the shit, talk about hot dogs. The world cups on, Albert. Get a haircut. As Americans real quick, you guys, of course, that don't care about soccer. At least I don't know about

Ed. I know that you guys, you guys mostly don't. What did you think about Donald Trump going like, I don't really know the rules, but can we get that red card change? And the FIFA went in and changed the red card decision

because allegedly they went in and said, oh yeah, of course it wasn't the foul. But it was because Trump asked them to reverse the red card. Had it worked in your favor, would you have been like fucking hurrah? yeah, our president helping us out, or you guys just, for the most part, still didn't care. I just wouldn't care at all.

And I, like, and I also don't know the rules of soccer. Make it hockey. Okay. It's a, it's a five-minute penalty. Oh, Trump makes the call. I don't think it was. And then that player is back in. It would depend on the penalty.

Like, if it was egregious, then it'd be like, that's gay. But if it was like the right call and it was stupid, then I'd be like, all right, I just what the right call made. And that's what I saw in the U.S. penalty video, which again, disclaimer. I don't know anything about soccer, but I watched the clip and I was like, that's a penalty or a foul rather. Like that seems ridiculous. Like, why would this be a injectable offense?

No what you're talking about. My answer to the question was, if it was good to overturn it, it's good. If it was bad to overturn it, it's bad. But I don't know enough about soccer. Was it a good call or bad call? It's a red card. The problem was that FIFA has been really inconsistent, and that foul 100% is a red card,

but Messi did the exact same foul, and they're like, it's fine, right? So there's a lot of inconsistencies in terms of that particular file. So that foul was studs up, so like the studs of your cleat going into the other player. In most cases, that is a red card. It is.

Some might argue that it was harsh. He should have started with a yellow card, but I've reft before. I would have sent them off for that. You know what you're talking about. Yeah, but 100% inconsistency, and that's what a lot of American fans were pointing to. Like, why for us, but not for them?

But I've never seen it, because I think it'd be fucking sick if, you know, Prime Minister Carney in Canada is just like, hey, can I use my influence here to help my team win at the World Cup? What sucks is that, at least for the United States, is that they reverse the call, they put that player back in,

and then they went on to lose four, one with that player, which is obviously not a great look. Yeah. It's undeniable. The fact that it can be, I mean, if there's this ambiguity or irregularity about how a rule is enforced when so many people care so deeply about the outcome, like, how do you reconcile both of those things as being true? Yeah.

So there shouldn't be ambiguity anymore. They have something called video assisted referee, where if they go to the video assist, it's just like in the NFL, were the two feet in back. for that and they make a a non subjective uh it is definitive ruling from the video assisted referee the problem is is that they don't always go to the video assisted referee sometimes the the ref on the field is like no play on keep going but had he gone to the video assisted referee to actually look at that deeper that messy foul likely would have been a red card so there is no subjectivity there's not supposed to be at least when they go to the video assisted

referee. The subjectivity is whether they go to it or not. So is there any need for actual refs or could it entirely be officiated by AI and cameras? That's the big question of this year's World Cup. It probably like it's going there, but it's in the same vein as baseball. Like you do want there's no reason for calling balls and strikes anymore. It is just a problem. People will argue that like, hey, you want that human element of. but I don't personally. Like I think it should just be right or wrong. It's a strike or not a strike.

I like at the very minimum the ability to be able to challenge now with the ABS system. I fucking love it. I love what an umpire's wrong. It's so satisfying. But yeah, like just like tennis as well now, you know, like they've got the line AI assistant referee that will just straight up tell you if the ball was in or out. You don't need those, the humans anymore. but, you know, there is. We're not trying to manipulate a target here.

Like, there's a right and wrong answer. Correct. I think more than anything, though, is that all of these referees have unions and strong unions that will force them to be a part of the game probably until the end of time. I don't know about baseball. This year has been so revealing. And we've always, as fans, you've always been like, come on. To me, that really looked like a baller.

a strike. Like, but I guess I'm not there. I'm on this camera. And he, this guy lives and breeds baseball. Maybe when it passed the batters, technically it was in the three-dimensional, like, strike zone. But now we know. Now we know that some of these guys,

when you account for the pitches that don't require any calling, foul balls and hits and all that stuff, that when you remove those from the equation, they're only right 80% of the time. Like, that's pathetic. That's pathetic. I do like the art of the catcher being able to try and trick the umpire. It's called framing.

Yeah. I think that's a cool human skill that we would lose. But I think losing that is worth it for the sake of just straight up being right or wrong. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. People don't know framing. They'll like, let's say the ball's low.

They'll start with the glove very low and catch the ball on the upward swing and then stop when it, would have been a strike. So they caught it outside the zone, but in that motion of headed into the zone, and the ref can be fooled perhaps by thinking that where he stopped is where he caught it. Yeah. It's a cool skill. But when they're 11-year-olds like my kids, they do that, which involves not showing a target to the pitcher because they start back in the dirt and come up and grab it. And that is not helpful because they actually need a target to throw at and sort of this trickle-down strategy that is a little tough. It's interesting.

But now I get to argue with umpires about 11-year-old balls and strikes, and I have to say, I'm very pleased to get to do that, and there's no robots. Oh, that's an important thing for a parent to do. Make a scene. Absolutely. I thought this was America. I can't remember any big scenes at my Little League games or my baseball games ever. I know there was beef.

like every now and then between but usually the umpires were usually people from the community that we knew pretty well they were all really chill I think occasionally like my dad would take issue with the coaching of the other team like maybe they did something wrong or like broke some unwritten rule

but I don't remember any beef at those games ever it was always a good time it's grandparents now the grandparent we had some beef at a soccer game of mine when I was 14 and it wasn't even my dad it was like other parents of my of like my teammates that were just so mad at what was happening. So at that age, you have your team passport where it like shows your picture, your age and all that stuff to prove that you can play for the boys under 14 team.

And they never check that. Like no one goes around to check that. But this one coach made it a scene to only check mine. Like we only want to check his. And that seemed to absolutely spark a ride with like my, my teammates parents that like, I'm being singled out. They're throwing like racism, even though, you know, it's 22,004 at that point. So it's not real, real racism. But yeah, like, aside from that, I did you look old?

Dude, I had like a beard at 14. Yeah, yeah. Understandably so. But, like, it's not the same situation. I don't know if you guys have seen the movies, the benchwormers. where there's like a 32-year-old baseball player and his team passport says, I am 12 written in crayon with a $100 bill.

Yeah, it wasn't one of those situations. But you're not supposed to check. Like, why would we try and rig an under 14 boys Canadian soccer game? Yeah. When I was in high school, I had a teammate. He was like 12 years old and 6 foot 2.

And the other team would always assume that he was an older swimmer than he was, but he would dominate his age group. I can't think of anything like getting to fisticuffs, but I remember on a hockey team I played on when I was maybe 11 or 12 that one of the other players' dads was like a complete spas

and just baseline calls for things like tripping, cross-checking, very cut and dry calls. Like it's not up in the air. he would be like banging on the glass screaming. And it didn't matter if it wasn't even his kid that got called for it sometimes. It was just someone else on the team. And he was the only person there throwing a fucking shit fit.

And all the other parents are just seated there like looking uncomfortable. But he was just maybe he was trashed or something. I don't know. But he would just, he spazzed so regularly. I'd be like, oh, dude, fucking Eric's dad's about like if ever I wasn't playing that game and I'm on the bench. I'd like look after a call. I'd always identify him. And I'd be like, he's steaming.

He's steaming. Here we are. John Eric's dad's about to throw a fit. Look. Yeah, some of those hockey parents were a little too aggressive. But I guess it's not even a hockey parent's thing. You see that with football, soccer, baseball. Just I can't imagine doing that.

Like, unless my kid is like getting attacked with the bat in baseball, then you got to do something, you know, run up there. What? He's getting bad calls. Oh, man, we had one the other day where my son, they lost the game, but he had scored the tying run at the bottom of the end of the last inning, and the catcher dropped the ball. But it was in a cloud of dust, and the hump called him out.

And apparently I yelled he dropped the ball loud enough that the International Space Station was aware of it. And he got the ball reversed. It worked, like it was wrong kind of reinforcement. They discovered, yes, he had dropped the ball, and the game continued so that we could lose more formally. but it's important. Oh, it doesn't seem like he spazzed. Just a standard issue. That's a standard issue.

Spends how he said it. Was it an angry he dropped the ball or loud he dropped, an informative he dropped the ball? Very clear. My dad would get furious watching me play sometimes, but it was only at me if he thought I had like let in a goal that I shouldn't have or if I gave up a bad rebound. And it didn't even result in a goal.

I still saved the rebound in his head. He's like, that should have never been an opportunity. And I would like be like, I would be scared because I would like look over in the stands. And he would just be like looking at me. That's how Santies is about the Nissan. Yes. My dad actually was like that for. What a callback.

I'm glad you liked that. Well, play. My dad was like that for sports too, though, Taylor. But my dad had had the classic foreign dad. bad, you know, hands behind his back, just like quietly staring at the game. And if I knew I had a bad game, you never said a word on the field. If I knew I had a bad game, I'm like, oh, fuck, the car ride. The car ride is going to be so miserable.

Not, you know, he didn't belittle me, but it was just the, I don't know, just the fact that I even put him in a position to even be disappointed was enough for me to dread the 20-minute car ride back. What would you be? wouldn't say anything hour and a half where you've made me drive so far away to watch you perform poorly

son sorry Woody so he would talk in the car like in the middle of the game he wouldn't say anything he wasn't the yelling type of dad or anything like that which I almost preferred that he would

house the car ride is he like so how do you think you did that's all of Woody's I just got fucking PTSD how about you uh Sandy how about you great how about you grade yourself. It was it was very much like a like a self-shame ritual where I had to lay out

all of the bad decisions and in and in bad choices that I made in the middle of that game. Let's do a little math on the drive home son. O'4. What's that what's that a battering average of? I'll wait. Taylor you were you were a hockey guy. Did you ever play against the team that just had such good verbal insults that you had just no choice but to just fucking accept it. Because we were, this wasn't even in hockey, but we were playing volleyball, but we were playing a known hockey town called Listowl. It's the town that Letterkenny is based off if you, if you guys know that show. And in the middle of the game, I like, I get a spike and I go classic.

Let's go. Buddy across the net from me like, shut the fuck up, bud, you fucking autistic, werewolf looking bitch. I'm like, holy smokes. Yeah, my own teammates were like, that was fucking incredible.

There's nothing you can do about it. If I were a forward or a defenseman, I would have more stories about that, but as a goalie, you're not in like the face-off proximity, and that's where a lot of that, you know, nonsense talk is going on. But, yeah,

hockey guys are really good, with chirps. They have the funniest banter of every time they have a miced up hockey moment, I'm always like, I wonder if the NHL is a little more formal. And then you listen and it's like, oh, no, these are just like the same shitheads I played with and like knew my entire life where they're just ripping on each other the whole time. And it's very immature. I never heard anyone say anything mean in baseball ever. I had a parent heckle me one time while I was pitching, but I've never never had like another baseball player say even any really anything other than good game. Baseball doesn't lend itself to them. Yeah. I'm playing beer league hockey. On the field,

it's very gentlemanly. Yes. It's in the face off, but I'm not the doing the face off. I'm one of the guys on the sides of the circle. And this dude's like you want to fight. You want to drop the gloves? And I'm processing it in my head, right? I'm a little bit bigger than this guy, but I'm very much scared of him. He's got a couple things going. Very few teeth. This guy is a he looks very low class like he's that likes to fight guy and i'm thinking to myself like do i want to fight like well maybe but but not with you i don't want to fight anyone who wants to fight me i want to fight the people who don't want to fight me and i just uh stayed quiet and stared at the puck wait for you to drop is this is it purely hockey yes yeah yeah yeah i'm like this is funny common

yes it is oh the the trick is to have guys on your team that are veteran hockey players and fighters because I remember playing and you know I got used to one I'm not Mexican but a common insult that I would get would be fucking Mexican. I'm like it just rolls off my back at that point at that age but my players like my guys they took that very seriously like bud that's our fucking beaner you don't get the fucking call of that I think you just you came to my aid with more racism again guys I'm not Mexican

every week before the games I'm saying that's great gentlemen I do have to get off thank you so much for having me on again guys of all right anytime man we always enjoy you where can people see all the things that are Santi

how you can find me if you're into wrestling if not don't look me up but if you're into wrestling at YouTube.com slash Santi Zap, daily wrestling videos, even though the program's bad right now. I like to compare it to like we're in the middle of like season seven walking dead, Negan every single week is the same thing over and over again.

That's where we're at right now in wrestling, but it'll get good. You have Connor wrestling with you next year, so you got that look forward to. It's inevitable. That man's coming to WWE. I will say, the last time that WWE had somebody like blow out their knee, it was WrestleMania 39.

this guy named Shane McMahon, son of Vince McMahon, Torr's quad. In UFC, it's over, just like it was with Connor. In WWE, I'm not making this up. Fucking Snoop Dog jumped in and finish the match. That's what the UFC needs. You guys needed a snoop dog to be able to save that Connor McGregor made. We did.

We did. They had him. They had him right there. Patty Pimbley came right out and fought Max Holloway. That would have been insane. Patty won his fight with a submission Didn't get touched once. Patty did not fight Max Holloway.

No, I'm saying he should have. Like after Connor blows his knee out and we got this nonsense, Patty told Dana he's like, I'll go out and fight him. Let me go fight him. He's eating pizza in the back. That sounds like, he's working on his bloat already. He's not going to make weight anymore. He literally said, don't eat too much pizza.

I like Patty the Batty. Yeah. He actually, I actually, there was a time when I how much I liked him had kind of wavered but I'm looking at him through a different lens a lens I see a lot of athletes through this guy has had the same girlfriend since he was

14 she was 13 like that's when they met he's never left her he's like she loved me when I was broke when I was nobody there's never been any scandals around this guy and she's going to be with me and my fighting career is over and he'll obviously be fat it's like yeah stick with this one this fighting career is just brief like 10 years of your life.

It's 10% of you, oh, more than that for me, probably. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, it's 15% of his life and that little part where he's a star is not the biggest part. I like how he gets fat as hell. He seems like a pretty good guy.

And that's what I like. We have to do ads and Kyle has a story. Oh, I'd love to hear that. But before we get to Kyle's dad's friends, kerfuffle, lock and load folks. premium ejaculation supplement

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There you go. All right, Kyle. It's very interesting. He said so much. All right, Kyle. You've been teasing this story even in our WhatsApp chat this week. Yeah. I went to see my dad this weekend, hung out with him for a little bit. Had a great time.

Last time I was there, he told me that he had a traumatic gummy overdose, of course. And I got a little more about that, by the way. I found out a little more about that. So he had gone to the local smoke shop and told him that he wanted a gummy to help him sleep or some kind of gummy. He has no idea, no idea what he's talking about. And he's like, he asks the guy who, he explains, looks like a subject matter expert, a real stoner. He asked this guy, like, what would you take? And this guy says, I take three and a half gummies.

And dad takes that as, okay, so I should take three and a half. So he goes home and takes three and a half gummies. And this is the best part. When he told me this, I was like, what kind of a loon are you? He put them in a coffee cup with a little orange juice and he microwaved the gummies to melt them. Because he doesn't like chewing the gummies. He thinks they taste bad. So he liquefied them with a little OJ and then drank three and a half gummies like a shot.

That's psychotic. He woke up vomiting off the side of his bed can barely move like a muscle. He has to crawl from his bedroom to his easy chair in the living room, and he's where his phone is. And he's just laying there, half comatose, and he tells his phone, call Ronnie. Phone calls his buddy Ronnie, who is blind legally. And Ronnie hops in his car, hero that he is,

and drives to my dad's house. Doors are all locked. He gets there, doors are all locked. There's no lock under a rock or anything like that. but he can hear my dad inside calling for help i'm in here i can't move and so ronnie hero that he is calls 911 this is important for the news story ronnie calls 911 and so ambulance fire department police they show up the the rescuers down under have arrived and uh and again they hear dad and they're i'm in here i can't move and so they go around to the back of the house ronnie

actually instructed them, don't knock this window out. There's a door that has a big like, decreed old. 73. Perfect. And so there's a big decorative glass in the front door. He's, don't knock that out. Go to the back.

And in the back, there's like a multi-pane glass door thing. And so they knock the glass out of that. Let themselves in. There's dad in the chair and their rescuers working on and they're checking his blood pressure and they're open his eye and shining a light in there and trying to find out what he fucking how much and this and that.

And they finally decided, they're like, yeah, we actually see this a lot. You're going to be okay. You know, you check out just fine. And he's like, all right, well, could y'all help me in there to my, to my guest bedroom, let me lay down because I need to go back to sleep again. So two of them help him into the, because he's vomited on the other mattress, had to replace it. So they help him into the guest bedroom.

He gets in that bed. And he sleeps for like another 24 hours. Like, like, and then he wakes up on. it's like three days that he's been down or something like that like he lost weight he lost muscle mass he's like I felt weak after I finally came to

and so like finally he's able to he's and he's like five days later I still felt woozy and groggy and so I'm like you know you should have called me you should have puffed on one of these just a little puff you took that's a hero dose I don't take three and a half gummies

I take two gummies and I like wheat I love it. And he's like, I'm never touching it again. No, sworn it all. He's got a, he's got like a Miller like genuine draft or something. He's like, if it don't come in this bottle, I don't want it. I don't understand it. He's like, I don't want it. I'm like, all right, that's fair enough. And so news story is this. And it's kind of hard to like tell this story in the correct order because, well, you'll see. But basically, I'll tell it this way. My dad saw in the newspaper that there had been a hit and run in his area.

And it was kind of a big news story. It was on the front page of the paper, I think, hit and run and kind of gave the general area that had happened. And so dad happened to be in that area. It's right in his neck of the woods. I mean, it's a few miles away. He's in that area driving around, and he sees this guy on the side of the road who's chasing a cow. Cows escaped from a pasture, and this guy's on the side of the road on foot, trying to corral this thing, get it to go back in the pasture.

And dad pulls up and rolls his pasture window down. is, hey, hop in, I'll drive you up to where the cow is, and we'll get her back in. So this guy gets in the car, and his arms kind of crippled up. Dad says, like, his left arm is, like, in a sling and, like, all crippled up, and his shoulders crippled up, too, and he looks like he's in bad shape. And so they're driving to go get this cow and everything. And dad says, hey, I heard there was a hit and run around here, you know, a few weeks ago. And he says, hell yeah, Ronnie ran me down, killed my dog, crippled me.

And he got out and I said, please call 911. And he got back in his car and ran off. He ain't seen him since. Ronnie was driving. Yeah, the blind savior that we love so much, a man that I've known for 25 years as kind of a quiet, kind man who was always there to help you work on something or, you know, borrow a tool or loan a tool. like good guy hit and ran this guy ran him down on the side of the road

killed his dog crippled him and then when the man begged for 9-1-1 Ronnie got back in his car and fled the scene and so dad hears this and he's like my god and the guy knows his name the guy knows his full name

the guy's like yeah Ronnie ran me down you know Ronnie who lives a quarter of a mile up the road there who drives this and that truck the other like he ran me down of crippled me. And so dad sees Ronnie like a day or two later. He's like I don't know, working on a car or something. Hey Ronnie, uh,

do you hear about there with some kind of a hit and run in your neck of the woods? Ronnie goes, no. He's got a dog ear in his grill. I was like, that's unforgivable. I was like, that's, that's villainous.

I was like, I was like, that completely changes how I feel about Ronnie. And dad's like, yeah, me too. I've known the man for 30 fucking year. I don't think I like him anymore. That's awful. He said, my dad said, you never leave a man behind. And he did this in service of your father. This was on his way over?

No, it was a completely separate event. That would have been, now that would have been hilarious. That's how we got to, when you come tell the story on Vinwick, you were connecting the stories just like that. It was all one of that. It is a car story, kind of.

That's right. There's cars involved. Yeah. It's the wolf of whatever street you, grew up on him. Oh my goodness. I genuinely think so much less of him for doing that. I can't imagine, like, it's one driving, like, kind of blind. Technically, he, no one knows that he's blind. He knows. I don't know if he's breaking any laws is what I'm saying. Like, he has a driver's license. Is he real blind? I mean, the doctors have told him, you're blind. Like bubbles, glass. Oh. No, no, no, no. No, no. Don't think, like, he always had the bubbles glasses. And then he got, it's like macular degeneration or something. Like, this is a blind man. This is a man who, he normally, like, he only drives, like, two, two or three miles radius from his house. That's too far, clearly, for everyone saying.

There's dogs there. Dogs and people and everything else. Why didn't this guy report all Ronnie? I have no idea. Ronnie should make it right. Ron by a new dog. Or find him a new dog. This dog's all over the place.

That is 13 dogs. He could have one of those. That turns out it's a cat. But yeah. Kind of a crazy dog person in his old age. He, no, he's been a crazy dog person his entire life. Like when he was 45, he had a dozen dogs. Like, people drop him off on his road.

And he's just like, what am I going to do? Welcome, welcome to the team. My little one. Welcome to the team. And none of them have real names. It's like, that's mama dog. And that's running. dog and that's big head and that's

and that's big boy they're different don't get them mixed up what's some doctor sue shit he doesn't give him names he gives him descriptors he doesn't it's not like Oliver and Petey and prickly Sam it's like that's mama dog and that's running dog and and that's yellow girl it's like it's shit like that

it does make sense while you have four dogs and you're still on the market I have three dogs and I'm quasi eye on the market where I'm always looking at them. You're down to three dogs. I'm down to three dogs. Well, I didn't mean to have four. It was just like when I got Rocky, what are you going to do, right?

Like once, you know, he was, I went into that. I went into that. I went into that Auschwitz of a dog shelter and that they had his poor ass and all the dogs in there were like pit bulls that were like, kill, kill! When they saw me. And then here's

this husky who comes up, who's, who's, like, hey, I'm in here by mistake. I'm a family dog. And he was microchipped. He was a family dog. He was just a skate happy, and the family gave up on it. And you can tell that he had a disability. Is that the one that had bones on the outside? That's the one that had a, he had had a broken rear leg, and they had put a titanium

plate in it, and the plate was visible, like it was exposed in one spot. He had Down syndrome, Woody. He did. Malamute face, which is a little like Down syndrome. Can we get a picture of the dog? Do we still have access to it? Ed, I don't know why Kyle Copes over this. The dog... Don't mock my dead

dog. I cry. I'm describing the dead dog with no malice, but he wasn't all there. Kyle, we're not making fun of the make-a-wish dog you brought into the house. That dog was all there. He was a smart boy, all right? He could have pulled a

he could have been in the I diderod, okay? He could have been out front. Was he had been been for that little leg injury, all right? What did he do? That was smart. Zach, can you find a picture? Is this a thing that we're able to do? The podcast empire. I don't know. I'd talk to him. You know, I'd be like, who's a good boy, Rocky?

And he'd go, br, br, br, bro, bro, but why were his eyes spaced like that? Because it's a Malamute. Their eyes are kind of narrow. They got a squished face thing going on. Goodness gracious. Oh, you found a photo of him. Oh, God. That's a township dog. rest in peace rocky rest in peace all right peter rocky it's in the dictionary as a down syndrome

oh wow i'm sure you know what else that extra chromosome had a lot of sweetness a lot of kindness yeah that was a sweetness chromosome that was a good boy i felt if shame gillis has told us anything yeah that was a happy dog if shame killis was a dog that's absolutely right it niggis Nicked him. It nicked him. Yeah, I'm sure Rocky was a great dog, but like, you know, get rid of. He was making some grilled cheese at night, if you know what I mean. He loved grilled cheese. He did. He loved grilled cheese.

Your girlfriend has friends over and your dog's just obsessed with their big tits. He can't stop staring. He's a little bit cross out. he seemed like he was all there he seemed smart he was super vocal I like that about huskies and Malamoo yeah like they somebody you see the annoying videos or the ones on the internet that scream but mine was more like who's a good boy and he goes

oh boo boo boo he'd like talk back oh my good boy it was fucking cute huskies are known for that and that's kind of fun as long as again you don't get a screaming one I have a friend with the husky and he'll be vocal sometimes he won't scream like that but like if we're having a barbecue at his house and like we're all eating burgers

and he just kind of hits that limit of like no one's giving him any meat he'll start like spouting off giving little speeches. What does it sound like? Just like woo-wooo just little moans,

little please screaming. I find that a little endearing. Yeah, no, I like that's a good thing. He's not a screamer. Oh, oh, I misunderstood. Okay. Yeah, not a...

So he's not like the other dogs. Not like the other dogs. No. We had a dog growing up that was a like a 230-pound English Mastiff and giant, I mean, sandlot dog more or less. And it was very gentle and goofy and clumsy and all the, you know, great, you know, like a Scooby-Doo sort of thing. But he would, he would, he was scary because he's huge.

But he would walk up to people and just bury his head in your crotch where like the only you could do was like rub him behind his ears to which he would moan orgasmically as you did it and so would I you've begun doing this thing

to this giant I mean his heads the size of a trash can and and it's and he's very clearly enjoying it and you don't want him to not enjoy anything in the world and so everybody would just kind of have this very trapped almost violated

experience with the dog and he's wonderful but yeah you didn't you couldn't stop because you know he was he was he was still in it and it was awkward for everybody because he was 230 pounds you have to keep pet it exactly exactly you don't know what he's going to do good my my great danes are just certified stage five clingers at this point like i'll be in a king size bed with a laptop on me and they just come and lay right on top of me and close the laptop it's like there is so much space in here

the spot I wanted yeah that's his mind they get what they want I mean but in fairness Woody this is a real scorpion and the frog thing like you knew what they were when you brought them in this is what I was looking for

we asked for them we asked the breeders like give us the cuddliest ones you have and it you have multiple great days we have two great danes yeah they're twins and you can hardly tell them apart really and one's getting bigger I can tell now

also now that I've known them long enough I can tell their facial expressions like the way that they behave and sort of move one's very expensive he had a $8,000 surgery but we're over five digits into him now and he's still limps one of his feet is swollen but he's a great dain puppy so all his feet looks swollen but one's like extra super swollen and it's just he's a ridiculous dog we're like I don't putting one foot in Epson salt on a daily basis now he did we're giving him doggy ice cream. He licks it while we get his foot

treated and it's not making, he's not doing any good. He's just a ridiculous dog. Sometimes he runs on three legs for a few days. We're doing everything we can. We have a good relationship with the vet. We talk to her when she goes on vacation. We're not curing him. We're doing everything

else. You're doing what you can. What's their weight at now? A couple weeks. weeks ago it was 117, so they're just on their way. They're in the pound of day zone, right? Oh, got to be. Got to be.

They were in the pounded day zone when they were a few weeks old. Oh, yeah. They were crazy. Those dogs went from small enough to sort of hold up, like, look what I got to like a big dog that sits in your lap uncomfortably in the course of three weeks or something. Yeah. The way they turn dog food into dog is. And other lawn ornaments, I'm sure, yes. Oh, for sure.

Oh, God. Yeah, you should start a garden with all the compost you got. My gosh. One of them lost their collar to the electric fence, which $600. And, but they don't, it's in the mail, so it's coming soon. But she's behaving so well. Like, she hasn't had it for days. She doesn't even test it.

$600 for this electric collar? That's crazy. I guess I guess. I never bought one, but I did not imagine it being like that. Yeah. It's like there was a pricing meeting. You know, like, how much is a little less than a dog? Right.

That was what they set the price at. This time we're putting air tags on the collars so that we can find it into my yard. And what is sometimes tall grass, who knows why? Maybe I should mow more. You're just, you know, anytime your grass gets too long, like, have you ever seen those signs that some people put in their lawns that say, like, save the bees? and it'll be like they're letting their grass run a little wild because they want to help bees. I think I'm going to invest in one of those signs. Mowing will be a much more sparse thing where it's like if anybody gives you shit.

It's like, oh, I'm sorry, do you not care about the bees? Do you not care about the environment? It's like, oh, do bees love tons of clover? It's like, shut up. That doesn't matter. Clover looks better than regular grass. I feel like. Like a big thick patch of clover

looks more luscious and more rich. It does look pretty good. Yeah. You think about the southwestern yards that are just like pebbles though. Yeah, I kind of like that. I don't know if I like that. Yeah, that's not really a doggone's paradise.

Oh, yeah, I suppose not. I've always liked that, that, though, just sort of the zero upkeep that it brings and maybe there's a couple of like cactus or like southwestern plants out there, but it's mostly just rocks and pebbles. I wonder if that's harder to maintain than you think. Like you have to go out there and spray round up all the time or something.

I don't think anything gross. No, you don't have to do anything. You just go toss the rattlesnakes over the fence and keep going. I sprayed a bunch of weeds in my... We're minimizing tossing rattlesnakes for some reason. I'm sorry, Taylor. You get the American Southwest. Deadly vipers.

I don't have, I mean, I live in Missouri, so I don't have a pebble yard. But like the front of my house, I have like a rock bed with flowers and shit that I planted and then, you know, little shrubs. And that 10 days I was at the hotel, the weeds got beyond out of control in my rock bed. And so I bought like a couple different types of like round up style poison. And then was like just this is earlier this week. I'm like standing there spraying it. And dumb ass that I am. like that. Eyes are burning. Like I just

could be anything. I wonder what the cause is. It could be anything. Sometimes my eyes randomly burn. No, no, they don't really. And I like, I finish spraying it because after a little bit and so I'm like rotating rapidly because the wind is changing, trying to keep it on the other side. And I go inside and I'm like, I guess the stinging is calmed down a little bit. I look in the mirror and I was like, my eyes were it looked satanic like my eyes were so blood red and it's like that's an unusual reaction to it's a not negligible amount of poison that I've accidentally let waft into my eyes and then I was shocked because I I bought like the kill everything poison because a little bit of grass had like germinated there and started growing and some of that stuff is like won't kill grass and I'm like well I need to kill the grass in my my rock bed and I'm and I I like went in, showered because I was covered in poison. And then I went out, like, peaked through my front window.

That shit was dead in like 25 minutes. Wow. It was like gray, like browning. It takes like three days the stuff I use. I used a whole container. I was out there for 20 minutes holding the battery. Was it? Contrad it and you didn't dilute it?

No, it was just one of those like big jugs you get that has like the fold out spray. that you hold the button for and it's like a battery operated that or some similar brand yeah roundup takes a few days um we used to get roundup for free like my one of my dad's friends has i don't 15,000 acres of corn and soybean that they that they uh cultivate and so they order roundup concentrate in 50 gallon barrels and like once they empty a barrel into the thing to mix it they don't care about the last half gallon or whatever in those things so they'd just be this pile of barrels like full of money and we'd go get them and spray them all we used to spray that shit constantly from not from a little thing wand but from a pto powered like multi hundred gallon

like the sprayer is like the sprayer at a car wash and i would be driving the tractor with one hand holding that wand with the other driving next to the chicken houses bathing the entire side and like 10 yards out with just death and it was all over me breathing it in, soaked in it, like you have a little bit, just coated in it and didn't think anything of it. We didn't know it was herbicide. This is why Kyle's beard doesn't germinate and grow. That's what did it. That's what it did it. And you didn't get burny eyes? Or I guess yours was spraying out super far. Unlike the wand. I'm sure I've gotten Roundup in my eyes before and it didn't burn me. That's why I was asking what you had specifically, because Roundup is a very

particular herbicide. It wasn't Roundup. It was some other brand at Home Depot that says it kills everything. Glasophosphate. Isn't it just that? Glycifate, yeah. It causes, and we know it causes cancer, but I don't, it never caused eye irritation for me or

like respiratory irritation. That's part of the reasons why, like, you, I didn't I wasn't scared of it. Like I've been spraying this, my whole, my whole childhood. I was the, like, I'll go spray the buildings. They're growing up weeds around. Are you a cancer survivor? I am a cancer survivor

Just checking, just checking Unrelated Unrelated, unrelated I had a professor at Georgia Tech that was Korean and he would like swear up and down that DDT was not problematic because they used to have

five gallon buckets of powder DDT that they would just pat over everything and then go out in the rice paddies so the mosquitoes wouldn't eat them and he's like, this is no big deal because I know

because I am the, you know, know, only research subject to prove it. I don't do that, but I used to play with mercury in my palm, and I used to drink battery acid because it tastes so much better than you'd guess. Not like a lot of it. It would just get on my hands and fingers. A sane amount. Yes.

And because I turned out so well, I know that stuff is not bad for you. You know what else? I'm glad you brought this up because it reminded me of that hilarious case we had this week. Did you hear about that influencer who drowned while he was in some exotic area? He's one of those like face maxing or looks maxing influencers. Okay. And he drowned in a body of water that didn't seem, it wasn't like riptides or anything. There was a little confusion about.

And then they said, while he was drowning, he was screaming about like crazy stuff, about like demons or something like that. And then they found out that he had recently bought into the idea that, that gold was a magical life-giving substance that the elite have since the dawn of time coveted for its life-giving and properties. And so he had been injecting liquid gold into his body. He'd been putting what I heard,

like, obviously not molten gold, but like little bits in like a solution, and then he was injecting gold. Yeah, like gold dust in a solution. He'd been injecting it into his body. body. He was just emptying out the unrelated to the drowning. Oh, 100%

related to drowning. He got heavy metal poisoning, I'm sure. Well, I thought that wasn't bad for you. Did I just make that up? I thought it was kind of inert. And I'm not saying injected into your bloodstream, but can't you eating this stuff? There's one way to find out, Woody. I think that's the reason that they used it for, uh, I think that's the, I think you're correct, Woody is that that's the reason they used it for fillings for a long time is because it's biologically inert.

Like it's not going to fuck with you. Like you wouldn't want a lead filling because that's going to fuck you up. No, I bet it would taste good. Based on my lead battery acid, just saying it's a little sweet. Yeah, apparently that same influencer, Kyle, I saw that he was or had recently in the last year or so gotten super into ayahuasca and like intense hallucinogens. And so I think maybe he fried his brain on. hallucinogens and then it sent him down a weird path of kind of you know 13th century alchemy I I don't know what the cause and effect is there though because like presumably he was

a little bit goofy before the ayahuasca you know like to just to get into that in general I think you're a little bit out there I don't know the injecting the gold into your body can't be good for you no it shouldn't be I know a few people have done ayahuasca and they all report a really positive experience, but they also include vomiting in that experience. I don't understand how that can be a positive thing. I've never enjoyed it. Yeah, boo. I don't think that would be a good.

And it's violent vomiting. Like, at the beginning of the trip, it seems like they vomit up everything they've ever eaten. Like just violent, uncontrollable. And I hate it too. Yeah. Anything that makes me nauseous, I don't like that drug. I have a friend, he said he took, he did the ayahuasca.

And this guy's not timid about this kind of thing. So whatever the, I'm sure he was diving in head first. And it wasn't impacting him. Nothing was happening. Tolerance, I don't know. So then the, I forget the name of your ayahuasca guide. He was in like Brazil or something doing this. And he cracked an egg on his head.

And that like unlocked the ayahuasca for him. And I can't help but hear this story and be like, are we sure it wasn't just time? And we sure it didn't just take a few minutes or hours or whatever to hit. And he's like, no. the egg the egg unlocks the iwasking. Okay. 14 minutes and 32 seconds in, the egg did it. Yeah. This is the same guy who was going to sell his dirt bike because he had come to a

realization that it was bothering the squirrels and we're all like slow your old. We want to keep riding with you. The squirrels can be anywhere in the woods. They're choosing to be by the bikes. I wish there was just like one single like, hallucinogen guy who could make a cogent, salient point about like how it expanded his mind. Because so much of it is they're like, bro, it was crazy. Like I was different when I left it.

And it's like, that's interesting. Like what insights did you have? And they're like, I don't even know. I don't even know how to say it. And it's like, all right. And it's like, all right. Well, if you can't articulate it, then you don't understand it. And so like you just had like a fun high and you were potentially temporarily made to

be retarded and things like like banal saying's like you're just part of the universe man you're the universe experiencing itself and it's like thanks for that so i have like a little like adjacent experience to that from the the ketamine thing i did and so ed if you don't know i i did this like online therapy thing i was feeling kind of down and ketamine is one of the possible solutions of this seemed like it seemed like the ideal route for me so uh uh and then you know they like like beforehand i would watch videos related to like the kinds of things I wanted to work on, et cetera. And I experienced what they call ego death.

Ego death is that thought that everybody has had where it's like, man, we're just just a tiny little speck on the earth and just a tiny little speck in the universe, et cetera, et cetera. But what I took away from that realization that everyone's had is kind of like the minimum I need to pull this train. Like, you know what? Everyone has a roof over their head. Everyone's fed.

I'm doing fine. Stop acting like this isn't going well. You're okay. This isn't that. half a problem to solve. And like in the grand scheme of things, like these are the core things you need to focus on. These are how Jackie gets happy, Hope gets happy Colin, yada, yada, yada. Those were my takeaways.

And then through this like program I was on, like I instantly sort of journaled it so you don't lose it. And I even reread it now. And not all the time. I'll say I reread it like three times a year. This was a while back. And, um, it was a really positive thing for me. And I was like, oh, maybe I'm the exception to Taylor's thing. That ego death made my problems seem small and, you know, like gave me a different perspective on them and helped me understand that I am equal to the task.

And I think you did it very deliberately, which is something that if you're going to do that shit, you should be deliberate. Like have a thought or a goal in mind, I would guess. I've never really fucked around with that shit. But so many of the people who, like I've talked to, like friends, acquaintances, who talk about how mushrooms or LSD or this or that like change their life. It's like, but how? Yes. Because you work the same job that you did six years ago when I talked to you last before this.

And you seem like a similar guy. Joe Rogan makes DMT seem like a permanent upgrade to us as RPG video game characters. And but he doesn't really, I guess he said his creativity was unlocked or something. I don't know what it gave for him. Maybe it gave him a little joy. or something that made him feel a little able to tackle his life. But again, not well articulated. Yeah.

And I'm not like totally against those drugs or anything. Like I think they probably have some use here or there for people. Maybe they probably do help. They also probably turn some people crazy. That probably just trips a wire and it fucks them up. But I just wish there was someone in my life that had done a bunch of those that could articulate like soundly something that was. improved and some because especially the DMT people and I know

multiple of them will talk about it as though it like opened up a world to them and there's these little aliens and these little critters and it can't all be made up because we all see the same aliens bro and it's like what did they tell you it's like oh I can't remember it's like well

it's like it just got fucked up like and then had a fun time which is fine I want to meet those machine elves dude I say it every time this comes up I want to meet those machine elves so bad I want to talk to them. I got to go in with questions. I need to figure out what I'm going to ask them when I get there.

I want to know some stuff. I'm sure you'll be different. You'll be the guy with answers. I'm sorry? Somebody's got to get to the bottom of this. Can you compare the ketamine treatment with traditional therapy or antidepressants? No. Okay.

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OnStar. Never Stops. Now playing on Netflix, The Hawk. From the mind of Will Ferrell. Oh, mama. I'm back. Comes a new original series. Get ready, get ready. That's it. Did I stutter?

When an iconic pro golfer. Lonnie? Hocked! Takes one last swing at greatness. You were a big shot golfer. I still am a big shot golfer. No one. Dad, I'm the Hawk now.

Will stand in his way. That's how it's done. Hawk now playing only on Netflix the company it was mind bloom I'm not paid by them or anything but that's who I went through mind bloom um helped target me towards getting more value out of it than if I had just like bought it on the streets there were like videos I watched that day and kind of preparation and then video or I'm sorry audio I listened to during that like guided one the mechanics of like it was this oral thing that you like held in your mouth and then spit out seven minutes later and the audio was timed they're like ah when you hear the bell you'll do it

low key i kept it in for an extra 30 seconds because i'm hardcore like that oh shit what's the business don't tell my bloom nobody knows me and uh but it really gave me this like mindset on what to think about during the ride and how to keep the lessons from it. Would therapy have been better? Shucks, I don't know. I'm not inclined. Weird.

It's easier for me to talk to like the freaking million people who might see this than it is a person on a couch. And that might have guided my decision to go that way instead of the other. I don't think you've ever taken antidepressants, but my experience with them has been that their emotional band-aids, that they lower your, if your life can be imagined as this graph of highs and lows,

it cuts the peaks off both sides. Now you don't go to that low place anymore and you don't get so down that you just don't know a way out, but you don't ever get to that high place anymore. You don't have that exuberant, oh, great day. Oh, I won.

I've got a nuke in modern warfare too. You don't feel that dump of happy chemicals anymore. And you also don't feel that dump of sad chemicals anymore. You've got this emotional band-aid that's meant to be temporary, not a lifelong sort of thing, not a emotional replacement therapy. It's supposed to be a band-aid. And people end up staying on them way longer than they should have fixed the thing that was making them depressed

or found a way out of their depression, but instead they're just six years into Zoloft or something. And they haven't had a real feeling in half a decade. Yeah. I hated them. And then coming off, I had so, I quit cold turkey and then coming off. Is this a specific one you tried? Man, I don't remember, but that's the one that comes to mind. It's the one that gave me those weird like brain shocks or whatever.

I had a friend who had that with Lexapro. Maybe there's Lexapro. That's what it was. Yeah. Okay. That was dreadful. I hated that. He did too.

And they were like, don't quit cold turkey. And I'm like, I think I'm quit. and cold turkey. I'm getting back to real emotions as fast as I can. If I've got to suffer for a week or two weeks, we're going to treat this like it's heroin. I don't want this poison anymore. I'm tired of feeling like a fucking zombie. I remember

I won a match of PubG, like I clutched and I didn't, and I was like, why don't I feel good about this? Everyone just watched me kill it. I killed two different teams. I just clutched it. Oh, we won. Chicken dinner. Chicken dinner. And I was like, I don't feel anything good inside me. I was like,

this is it. I'm done with these. No more. For him, he had what I would call the appropriate Lexa Pro experience. Before having it was anxiety issues. And a lot of people are like, anxiety, we all have it. Fuck you. You know, this is what gets the mortgage paid. But no, he would have like a traffic interaction. And then that would live rent free in his head.

He couldn't like stop precipiticating on it. Taylor, what's this word I'm looking for? I would just say dwelling. Okay, dwell. Tenson. That's the better one. He wouldn't stop dwelling on it. And like,

it would just own his mood and, like, his worries for way longer than, like, a beep that, you know, red light too long would deserve. And, um, uh, so he worked with a therapist and the therapist prescribed Lexapro and he was on

that for a period of time. And then he got off it. And, uh, he got off it a little aggressively and had like the brain zaps. That's what, he called them. I don't know how. Brainsap isn't like, I can't relate to it. I don't really know what that means.

Literally, you've been, you've been shocked before. I know because I've done. Oh, yeah. It feels, it feels like, um, if you've ever grabbed an electric fence, um, and one, one that pulses, it feels like you've got, I've been hit by the full jolt of those. Those smart. Uh, it feels like maybe a tenth of that, a much power, but from one side of my brain to the other and through my optical nerve. Like I would feel pain in my eyeballs and across my brain and it would

it would not just like it would surprise me like I didn't know. Like it was it was like a jolt It was it would be that really fast. Yeah they would literally be like jolt and I'd be like ah Oh oh oh oh oh oh and I just been like sitting on the couch like eating dinner and it's just jolt and fuck I hate that and it's like

As you're coming off of it. Yeah, yeah, for like... Spontaneous symptom. What? Yeah. For at least 10 days or two weeks. At least. He had that, too.

He eased off. And it would be, it would be like hiccups. Like when you've got hiccups that are persistent, and they're not like over and over and over, but it's like every 45 seconds, I'm just getting hit with a surprise. But instead, it's a jolt inside my brain.

It was really upsetting. And it just, made me double down on my hatred for like that thing I had been putting in. SSRIs. Yeah. SSRIs are a category of drug that like in the future will be looked back on poorly because I saw a giant meta analysis from like a year or two ago where they, because always it's been with SSRI as a baked an assumption that it's a serotonin issue leading to depression

or hyper anxiety and these things. And a giant study of it showed that, like, actually, no, the connection between serotonin reuptake and depression or anxiety are not what has been practiced in psychiatry for many years. And also, you get stuff like exactly what Kyle said. Like, it numbs people to the world. Like, they're not really living and experiencing. Totally numbed out. And the, you know, people talk about, like, mass shooters and shit. one of the most ridiculous things is how many of those people are on SSRIs.

Like they've they've like been drugged into like a weird nihilism seemingly of like nothing matters. Like it's all meaningless. I don't matter. You don't matter. That part of your brain that like tells you that like this is a bad idea doesn't have the same power anymore. Like you ever have like intrusive thoughts when you're at a monument and you could like jump

off this cliff and your brain sort of gives you a jolt of, oh, that's crazy though. Don't do that. It almost like hits you with a little bit of adrenaline and be like, wake up, dummy. We're not, you're thinking crazy. Like, you don't get that jolt anymore when you think about an intrusive thought. You really don't. That that little bit of adrenaline is tied into the whole like stress, anxiety system that's being like changed by the drug. And people who have obsessive thoughts, and that's why they're put on it, they don't actually see. to stop having obsessive thoughts, their brain is just no longer identifying those as troublesome and obsessive.

It doesn't react to them as troublesome thoughts anymore. And so they'll just dwell and ruminate on these things, you know, constantly. That makes sense. I guess my question, Woody, had been more based on the idea of, like, was this the express lane to traditional therapy and pharmaceutical treatments that you found through, you know, but less regulated substance that allows you to have a positive outcome, which is an entirely conceivable, you know, route. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know if it was the express lane. You'd have to do like AB testing, right, to know if traditional therapy is better. I have a couple things I need to say. One that's the word that means dwelling, perseverating. That's the word that means dwelling, perseverating. I know Taylor knows this word. He just wouldn't tell me. He wants me to look dumb.

I'm sorry. Yeah, and I also wonder like the correlation versus causation on the murderer thing. Like if you told me that people who were murderers needed SSRIs, I'd be like, well, that makes sense. If you told me that murderers were murders because they used SSRIs and they didn't have that like regulating. Like that makes sense. That thing Kyle said about like, you know, you're on the edge of the tower and you're like, yeah, I should jump. No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

That was the conversation I had with myself before every single like paramotor aerobacter. addicts run. It was like, ooh, let's do some flippity flips, some misty whatever's. And it's like, oh, you don't want to do that? Oh, yeah. Do we let fear guide our decisions? Is that what we do? No, we don't do we? We overcome fear around here, don't we? And then you go, that's, that's like a parachute, though. I have two parachutes. Oh, so brave with your same parachutes. I am thrown my second parachute to hit the ground. out like 11 seconds later. Like, I was that close.

Wow. Well, there you go. You know, I had read that the, like, leading use of AI by young people is therapy. And I was fascinated by this concept that, like, all right, well, what does AI as a therapy mean? And so I opened up a thread in chat GPT on just life coaching. I don't have like a real pain point, but I was like, well, what does it look like to address a chatbot as a therapist? And I actually found it to be wildly useful at thought organization and management of various

emotional triggers that exist in my life, right? There's different things that are going on and I want to manage my reactions to those to make sure that I'm, you know, hopefully engaging with the people around me. And I loved it. Like, I'm, I was wildly impressed by its ability to accept what I was saying, ask the right questions back, distill an answer, and arrange thoughts in like a really productive way. The same way that I would assume that through your journaling, Woody, that you came out of this experience with like a much more comfortable arrangement. of the way that you deal with the people around you and the reasons you deal with them in the ways that you do.

There was that. And then one of the things that I thought about was like, what does my wife need? What does my son need? What is my daughter need? And what does Kyle need? Top of the list. After Kyle sorted out.

After Kyle. What are you doing here? I dealt with Kyle first and then the family. So when I have thoughts and ideas, like, you know, oh, you know, it's as simple as this. Normal me says, oh, but this is hard. This is problematic. It's not as simple as you make it out to be, et cetera. Ketamine me thinks all of my ideas are fantastic and that it is a yes thing.

And honestly, I've been impressed by certain, like, super winners who have that kind of thought process. I've got two in my head. One is Elon Musk. You know, Elon, dude, anyone else who's like, you know, what if we put like thousands of satellites in the sky and gave the whole planet internet access would be like, yeah, but that's freaking impossible. We can't do that. What if the cars drove themselves? What if we turned the whole ice thing on its internal combustion motor engine thing on its head and made, you know, electric cars instead? Any normal person would say no.

This is too big a thought to tackle. I was watching Mr. Beast talk on the Joe Rogan experience recently, and I'm like sort of scanning through. And he either did a video or he's doing a video about spending some extended amount of time sleeping in the Egyptian pyramids. And he's talking to his staff about it. And they're like, well, obviously that's impossible. You can't treat the pyramids like a hotel. And he's like, why not?

And they're like, well, Egypt wasn't let you. He was like, did Egypt tell you that? Why don't you call Egypt on the phone, see if we can get approval for this? And it took a year. Hey, Egypt! It took a year of going back and forth with Egypt for them to understand that this would be done in like a respectful history honoring tone and say yes. And now Mr. Beast has slept in the pyramids. And I think he was on our show one time when he was like, we never stop at the first no.

Anytime someone tells us no, we just accept that that's a speed bump on the way to success. The Kobe rule. Sure. It's a rape reference if people didn't get it. But I just kind of admire guys who like, anything's possible. I can't imagine a future in which I don't thrive on this idea of mine. Whereas I'm often like,

there's a reason in business I tend to hit a lot of singles and not a lot of home runs. And it's because the less sure thing is a less appealing option to me. I want to try It makes sense And what I found Was that How much is the ketamine world? Oh

I think it might be 1,200-ish now And it's half that if you're returning So So you could mail me a little I'm a little concerned about some of the mechanics involved in that Let's set it up right now

So you just regard that promotion Yeah, let's do this in public. Right, right. Nobody checks the mail. Let's let's be tactical. Woody, can you send Kyle that bomb we've been talking about? Pretend you're trying to sneak in a little high explosive into Georgia. How would you do it? And so I got a P.O. box, okay?

Untraceable. All right. Send it there. Send it there. And I'll show up one morning around 11 a.m. and in my basketball shorts so they know I'm out and about. and pick that up. Safe $600 bucks.

And you're already familiar with the prison's layout. Oh, deep lock again. Thanks, guys. Thanks. I know my way around. Oh, is the knife still up there? Oh, yep, there's my chopper. Oh, good stuff.

So Zach gave us a lake. It's 1290, so I was pretty close for six sessions. How many citizens do you do? I did six. Well, actually, I did six, and then a couple years later, because it was a positive experience, I did it again. It's time for me to talk to my Merrick representative again this week, I think. I'm going to see. I'm waiting on my blood work to get back.

What's going on with that? I'll see if they do anything like this. That'd be interesting. What you know what they're able to prescribe. So if that, if you do that route, I'll tell you that, like, so I did it one time. So what they do at Mind Bloom is they send you one dose. And then they're like, what do you think of that? And I was like, well, it definitely hit me.

But I almost felt like if so if I had to like fake it and act like I wasn't high, I could almost pull that off. You know, you're 19 and your parents see you drunk and you're like trying to. And I was like, I don't want to ask myself like, how high am I? I want it to be undisputed. And they're like, we got you. And they doubled it, almost doubled it. They had like 90% more.

So, uh, um, and I, I appreciated that they were like not, I don't know, fucking around, cheaping out or anything.

It didn't change the price. They were just like, yep, I hear you. Let's, you know, be giving that your action to that. This is where we're going next time.

I bet it's a really cheap drug. You know, it's like animal tranquilizer. They have it at the vet's office. I always thought you're right as a cat tranquilizer. I got mocked a lot for talking about it on this. show. It's like, why don't he mock you someone dealing with depression? But okay. Um, but I would do it again. Like, the idea of having like a pro who knows doses and like they send a blood pressure cuff before

you do it to make sure that you're okay. They give you a blindfold, the audio, like the whole thing where they set me up for success. The thing with these drugs is like your mindset and your setting are very important. And they kind of coach you there. Like I'm not an experience. drug taker, really. And I needed that coaching. So I got a lot of value out of it. I very much appreciate it. Kyle's eyebrow movement when you said you were not an experienced drug taker. Yeah, he's not. Yeah, he's not. But the alternative being, yes, there you go. I'm not that experience. I've only done it. I've just done marijuana and cocaine and mushrooms and LSD.

I would like to trichetamine and I really want to do DMT. I want to do DMT so bad and I want a hero's dose. I want to go and see those people, those little machine people. Oh, I'm trying to set you up. Maybe you could talk to me again

if you just do decide to go through Merrick. But Mind Bloom also set me up with isophran the anti-nausea drug? Yeah. Yeah. I remember they did that for you. So I don't know how nauseous it makes you because I never had to deal with it. Yeah, I hate nausea with any drug.

That's that's no good. Probably not unique to you. What's that? So probably not unique to you, you know. Some people seem to power through it. They don't care. Like mushrooms have always made me nauseous. Every time I've done mushrooms, I've been nauseous from them.

And I talk to people about it and they sort of like, yeah, you know, just for a little while. And it's like, I don't want to be nauseous for just a little while while I'm also like out of my mind a little bit from the mushrooms. Yeah. And if I get super nauseous ever, like the way my brain works is it's like force yourself to throw up now. And then it's over. Like, don't sit with it. Just force the vomit. And then you're in the clear.

And so I'd end up throwing up all my mushrooms. Oh, I consider that. It's a waste of fungi. Oh, goodness. Well, gentlemen, I got a 5 a.m. over to the airport for a cleatist race, but it's a much pleasure to catch up. Good chat, man. You never know what you're going to walk into.

We started off, pick it out KKK. KKK robes, and here we are on ketamine. Good luck in your race, man. With the boys, thank you so much for coming. That's right. Look up in the name. All right, y'all take care. Good night.

Link in the description for him. Always appreciate him coming on. Yeah, love that. And Santee. Two solid boys. Like him both. Did you guys? I love the volleyball chirping.

Oh, yeah. Chirping in volleyball is very funny. It's not a sport that I would imagine. He doesn't look tall. I was picturing him in those little shorts. He doesn't look all. I don't know. I don't think he's ever mentioned.

Yeah. Wish we'd asked. Hard to tell. Because we've also had like, who's that giant Scottish guy who taught the pug how to Sig Heil that we had on a long time ago? Dancula. Dancula. And he has like the build of a guy who's short. And then when he mentioned he was like 6.3 or something, I was like, oh, so that's just a big Scottish lad.

Like just a bulky fella. Do Scottish people normally do their height and beat, I wonder? I feel like we've kind of conquered the world in that way. Like we, you know, how often do you hear Europeans be like, I'm 187 centimeters or whatever, whatever that would be.

That's probably a normal height, right? Would you say 187? I think that's tall. 183 is about six foot, maybe. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think we've won with the feet battle in regard to height. Yeah.

Because they usually say that too. Yeah. Have you guys followed any of, of the World Cup? No. No, dude. I haven't do that. I don't know which teams are in it.

Literally follow women's basketball more closely. I'm more interested in like Sophie Cunningham's point than I am fucking anything else. Did you know that she came out as a ring girl for the event the other night? I saw a clip of that on Twitter. She said she got paid more for that than she does for an NBA game. Good for her. That's solid. Yeah.

As an American, like, following the online drama of the World Cup is kind of fun because they care so much and I don't at all. And it's a little refreshing that everybody hates Argentina. And I think that's like they hate them because they're like they won the last one and they're super, super good and they have messy and all that. And also for a long time, everybody was hating on like England. and France and Spain and Portugal. It's just like, and the function on Twitter, which is just the automatic translate, is so good for this.

Because you'll see the most, it'll be the most despicably racist comment you've ever seen about like England or Argentina, and it'll be like translated from Portuguese. And it's some person who just hates them more than, you know, life is long. They despise Argentina. and I don't know what Argentina and Argentina and England have a beef because of the Falklands War, which, you know, that was, I think it was like a three-week conflict in the late 80s.

Is that not right? Like America forgets about those. Yeah. Did we have a fight with Granada for that long or something? I don't even know. Who's to say? But like Argentina. How many people do you think died in the Falklands War?

300. 300? I like 300 a lot, but to be different, I'll say 400. 907. Taylor's so stupid. Zach delete this. He doesn't even know for separating. It's like 649 Argentine military personnel, 255 Brits, big KD win, and unfortunately three island civilians.

And I don't understand that whole conflict. as neither an Argentinian nor an Englishman. But I think in 2013, like, they had the Falkland Islands vote. Like, do you want to be Argentinian or do you want to be English? And it was like over 99% where like, yeah, we want to be governed by England because they're the way richer, more successful. There's only like 3,000 something people there. It's a tiny little area. And so I don't know the history.

But apparently it was a big enough deal that when Top Gear did a special down there years ago, they were like the whole thing was like doing one of their epic journeys through South America to end at the end of the world in Argentina. And then at the end of the world, it was supposed to be a bunch of Brits in cars like Volkswagen Golfs or something. And then a bunch of Argentinians and other Volkswagen golfs and they would do like a Rocket League soccer game against each other. and when they got to that bottom area, like, they were forced to leave, like, because mobs of people were like, fuck you, Brits, like, the Falkland Islands are our land, not your land. And they kicked them out and forced them to leave. And as they were, like, leaving through, like, they were guided all the way to Peru.

They were, like, getting rocks thrown at them by mobs and shit, like, trying to kill them. They held a grudge, huh? And it's like, man, I don't think, like, what's the claim from Argentina on those islands if everyone there wants to be British? And was it even inhabited before the British got there? Yeah, I don't know. I just know that they had a- The license plate on their car was H-982, FKL. And it was a reference to FKL being the Falkland Islands and 1982 being the year of the war.

So they had a license plate mocking. Their loss in the war. They didn't pick that license plate. It was coincidental. It was coincidental because they all gave interviews about it where they were like, we bought this Porsche 928 from someone in Argentina. And so in order for us to set up this joke, we would have had to gone back 20 years and make sure that it was licensed with that number

and then show up with that same number. Like this was just an assigned number to the plate. no one on the team even noticed that shit until people thought like this is mocking the war and it's like how could we do you think we gamed your DMV dude 20 years ago you get the hell out of here just accepted the narrative that it was intentional but I did a little more research the plate was on that car maybe you just said this because I was reading uh since 1991 like it yeah it yeah it came with the car they left it on the car something about changing it would have been challenging and they didn't. That doesn't mean the original owner didn't have it ordered that

way to make light of the war. Right. But I do understand how the top gear guys had were kind of handcuffed into keeping it and could have perhaps not identified it with the war. Who would even notice that? And it wasn't 1982 FKL. It was H982 FKL. And so it wasn't even like a perfect spoof if you were going to do a joke. Fair. So I don't, the Argentinians really lost their shit. They were not happy. And apparently the police also were, I watched, or I read a book from the producer of Top Gear.

And he was like, yeah, I was, we sent the hosts out on a plane because everyone wanted their scalps. Like they wanted to kill them. And so we had to get like a secret airfield and fly them back to Britain on that. And he was like, these like this mob of people. We thought we weren't scared because we thought it was going to be a bunch of like 50, 60 year old like Argentinian vets at the time because this is like the 2014 or something. And he's like no, it was like boomers with a bunch of young guys around them that they had like stoked up into this frenzy. And he said at one point he was a driver of one of the cars that was trying to escape. And he said an Argentinian like stuck his head in the winter.

and said something in Spanish. And so I just was like, oh, okay. And I offered him a cigarette. And he took the cigarette and left. And my Spanish translator next to me was like, you've got balls of steel for that. And he's like, why? I don't know what he said.

He said, we're going to have a lot of fun with you tonight. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's probably best. He didn't speak Spanish then. Probably best. Yeah. But they had to flee Argentina and get to Peru.

And then because they invaded Peru technically, they all got arrested. The reason I think that it's a gag or a setup, like, I'll make up a scenario. Maybe the owner of that car contacted Top Gear and was like, hey, I got a real gag for you guys. Do you ever want to use a car? I got a funny license plate that would raise some eyebrows around here. I know you're into that. And then they got it that way. Because remember when they went in the south of the United States and they had a car that said, like,

gay love is the best love or something or like Obama Obama is king It was like It was like man love rules They were allowed to They were allowed to paint each other's cars It was like 2009

And so they said like man love rules And like country and western is rubbish And so Alabama would really get like aggressive over that Like the old boys? They did well it's a TV show right it's not a not accurate it's not true they paid those hillbillies and was like hey come over here and give us a hard time

or extra off-screen provocation or like yeah absolutely we're trolling for drama they did it they painted each other's cars in an effort to get this reaction and then to say they did get it is like well it's top gear right they say silly things all the time that's my whole point about the license plate as the resident top gear expert you can tell when they're doing their little song and dance fake stuff. Because of the way it is. Because of the way they are sometimes. You can tell when it's legitimate.

And they had a police escort out of there. They were having rocks thrown at their car again. The only footage they have of them like fleeing the gas station where this like lady comes out. And Richard Hammond like tells a funny reimagining where he's like, and so we were there trying. to fill up and this woman comes out and goes, where do you think you are? What's that written on your car? Man love rules. Country and Western is rubbish. Where do you think you are? And then she left and said she was going to get the boys. And then like two trucks of guys showed up

and they chased them and they had to get a police escort. Like forest go. They were like, they didn't have any liquid to wash the writing off. And so they were, were like dumping Coca-Cola trying to scrub man-love rules off the side of the car. And then they were like, yeah, and the cop told us like, you need to leave Alabama immediately. Like get the hell out of Alabama. I can't protect you if one of these people pulls you into a field or something like that. It's just not going to work. But yeah, apparently the Falkland Islands war big deal for England versus Argentina.

You can just tell some countries don't get into enough wars. Yeah, well, I wouldn't say that about England. I'd say they've got a drag them in. Yeah. Oh, in recent history, yeah. But like they were, you know, if there's one thing about the English, they're really, really good at war. I had forgotten about Grenada. You mentioned it earlier.

I had to look it up. I was like, why do we go to war in Grenada? I guess there was a Marxist coup and the island was in danger of falling into the Cuban's hands. And we also had a bunch of students there that needed. like safeguarding, so we sent the Marines. I have seen the movie about this. It's a Clint Eastwood movie called Heartbreak Ridge. Pretty good.

As a kid, I was like, oh, yeah, the, the bad guys. I didn't consider that that was a real war that we actually fought in Grenada. But yeah, they send Clint Eastwood. Is Heartbreak Ridge the one with the, like, the one who doesn't want to carry a gun, but he's a medic and he saves everyone? No. What am I thinking of? Wait a minute. I may be mixed up. You might be right. Hang on.

Okay, no, no, no. Heartbreak Ridge is the Clint Eastwood movie. You're thinking of, I'm looking for it. Can't help you. Yeah, it's, you know the movie. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, um, Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge. Oh, I've actually seen that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's a forgivable mix up. Hacksaw Ridge. Different ridges. Both, both, both. Different, different. Yeah, we've had a bunch of little conflicts. Oh, yeah.

I remember I was at work with one of my many international coworkers, and they were going on vacation in Beirut. And I even realized I was even being offensive. I was like Beirut, you get vacation there? I don't think of it as a vacation spot. I think of it as more like a target. And they're just aghast that someone could say that. They're like, what?

What? Like, it's Beirut. Based. Why are you going there? Vamush. Ew, why don't you go to Bahamas? This is where my family lives. Yeah.

The Middle East would not be on my list of vacation spots ever. No. There's too many other good places. It has a lot of things that appeal to me. I like third world stuff. I want to go to a place that's not like America at all. A lot of people want to go to Australia. does sound lovely,

but I don't feel like I grow going to Australia. I think I just have a good time. I want to go to India, right? I want to go to Middle East. I want to go to Asia, places that are not like here. Those are the places that appeal to me most. I'm like Mac on that board. I'm like Mac when he drew that,

he's got the whole map of the planet. He's talking about where he might want to go to. And he's like, well, none of these places. And that's out of the question. Well, I'm not allowed here, here, here and here. So really just the North Philadelphia area is where I like to. He like circles the southeast United States. It's like, I don't know what goes on to up here. It's very funny. I don't know if I had to pick an African country to go to.

India. India would be. Yeah, I wouldn't do India. I don't think India is necessarily on the list of like danger places or like the more dangerous places. It is. The U.S. government is like has a warning. like if you're a woman be careful. Taylor, you could beat up four Indians. True. There's a billion and a half of them, though. Yeah, there's a billion and a half. It would be, I'd be.

What if they bring six? Is that more than four? I'd be like the doom guy. Rip and tear until it is done. First thing they all do is get their hands good in cover with doo-doo. They're coming at you with that. You're going to get infected. They're like Oberyn Martel, the red viper of Dorn, but they're like the brown viper of Dorn.

I don't know if things have changed, but they wipe their butts with their hands and then wash it. This is the typical way. I low-key don't know how to do that. What do you just go finger by finger until the hope the pinky is clean? I don't. It doesn't. They're not getting clean to your standards is the answer. Lower standards.

That's why it's a, you know, they have a lot of disease. They're just chopping it off and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, if, if, uh, if, uh, if, a little bit of, if, uh, if, uh, if, it's like, nergel landed on earth, he's going to India. Like, that's where, that's where, that's where he's going to hang out. He'd be like, this is terrible. I've got. I've got a bearer already visited these lines. I see his cauldron of filth bubbles forth. Look at the rivers. I can't.

I guess you can't. Yeah, might give you something. But, yeah, India would be on my not interested list, as with like Bangladesh, Pakistan. I know you don't listen to a lot of Howard Stern. But back in the day, one of my favorite episodes was, and he's a real homebody. He doesn't go anywhere. Like, he's in New York. He's a weirdo shut in, isn't he?

Weirdo shut in. So, and Robin is, Robin Quivers is. co-host, the black lady, she's kind of the opposite. She is a world traveling millionaire who who like does her, loves to do that sort of thing and then goes to interesting places and comes back with fun stories. Good for her. And she's happy. She went on a, she went on a vacation to India and to hear her tell the story of her vacation to India for half an hour while they laugh and laugh. You're like, I would never go to India now. This was first class India like vacation and it was awful. It was being stuck in one place after another with like no transportation to get to where they wanted and bad food and disgusting people and cab drivers.

And everyone you would talk to had their hand out to rip you off. Like it was a no beef. No beef. I saw them beating a guy the other day because they heard that he served beef. He was a butcher and they were whooping his ass because he had allegedly butchered a cow. Like beat the shit out of him. Is this India? Yeah.

I found out the answer to the pooping thing. And we were wrong. Hear me out. They do it in conjunction with the bidet. So they're squatting in some hole in the ground kind of toilet scenario. And they have a bidet with running water. So they spray their bottoms. They touch it,

spray it, touch it until the whole area passes inspection and then wash their hands with soap and water. Honestly, this isn't too much different than like what I would do in the shower. And it might be cleaner than dry paper. There is a 0% chance that 99% of India is using bidetes. Like maybe the rich ones, the high caste ones, because they still have a caste system over there. Like the average Indian is so fucking destitute and poor. Like they don't have bidetes.

Apparently 11% of the Indian population practice open defecation, which is where they just shit in the street. This represents 157 million people. It's down dramatically from over 60% of the population in 2014. Since 2014, in 2014, there were, they were, yeah, well, they, they, they, I think they got a, I think Modi had a big, like, sanitation and hygiene like process where he, like, wanted to get toilets everywhere. Like they must have bought a billion toilets literally. And they've got shitty toilets. I know the other show rips on India all the time, but this is a country. It's like the next China.

You're going to see giant cities made of light. They are not dominating, but they're excelling in tech. I bought Indian bank stock like 15 years ago. It's made bank. Like that is a country that's going somewhere. Let's the average IQ in India. I don't know. Oh, ask.

You ask. What do you think it is, Taylor? Uh, 86. Oh, it's, sorry, Google's going to give a bullshit answer. Let me see about chat, GPT, if they won't be as politically correct. I think they will be because I've used it for this stuff before. We'll see. It's all going to be talking about the inaccuracies of measuring a country's IQ and stuff like that.

I wonder what America's average IQ is. I mean, you just assume it's 100, right? Because 100's average IQ. But I'm like, eh, what if we looked at ourselves with the same lens? Well, 100 is average IQ in the West. 76 to 82. I literally had to get to be. Fuck.

I literally said, but if there was a gun to your head and you had to say. And it said 80. Yeah. 80? Yeah. Dude, before the, before like the 1990s or 80s, you couldn't even get. accepted into the army with an IQ below 83 because they determined those people couldn't even peel

carrots without being negative. The high end is 82, 76 to 82. Yeah, so I don't see them becoming a global superpower based on that. I can turn that around with a read. I'm going to tell you what, y'all didn't have this, but the accelerated reader program where they, they gamified reading books and they made, they made thicker books worth more points and thinner, and you had to take a comprehension test after you read the book made me fall in love with reading and it genuinely made me smarter. I was just, I was reading

I don't even know how many books a week I was reading to like get a keep ahead in this program and try to win the pizza party but like constantly I was reading and I would always pick the biggest books in the library because they were worth like 30 points whereas like a little like Little House in the Prairie is worth like eight points

but Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry which is about Jim Crow South like black family being discriminated against and their uncle comes to town and he drives a Packard. And everybody thinks that it's the big rich white man coming across the bridge in the Packard. And so they pull their cars to the side of the road because it's a one lane bridge. And when they see the black man that they've pulled over to the side, like drive past, they're all spitting on the ground and stuff.

And it's like I would read that stuff and just, I feel like kids need to read. like that opened my that gave me such a bigger vocabulary and just exposed me to so much new stuff where were you with perseverating yeah that's a new one for me i thought you'd be precipitating no that wouldn't make sense in that context you know that Kyle with all this book you've read no nonetheless imagine where he'd be without those books oh my god grueling fool for us to deal that But the thing about that, Kyle, is like, you're expanding your knowledge base. You're not, like, raising your intelligence quotient because a lot of that is baked in genetically.

I think that working problems makes you better at solving problems. Sure. And I think that some of the low IQ can be associated with environmental retardation, like just not being exposed to anything educational, especially at key points in your early development. I think that you can diminish someone's IQ just by that. So I think that if these kids are instead of, I don't know, sitting in the street shitting and like praising cows, whatever they did, the average Tard kid does in India, like if instead they were on the accelerated reader program trying to get a pizza party and like reading eight books a week, I just think their IQ would eventually be higher. It certainly couldn't hurt.

We also, you know, we've done tons of twin studies, right? Like, like, you know, like adopted twin studies in the U.S. and the West where you take identical twins who aren't wanted by the mother and then they're adopted sometimes by a rich family, sometimes by a poor family. And what they find is that seemingly, because they measure those kids' intelligence as they age, despite different environments, they tend to be similar. There is a benefit to being in a, you know, a class, I guess you'd say, that values education more, but it's not this dramatic leap where, like, you're not going to take somebody with an IQ of, what did you say, 76, and read them into 100. That's not going to happen because it's just. Well, in those studies you're talking about, though, they didn't have one of the kids undergo the basically abuse of being completely neglected and giving no education whatsoever.

They had them both attend probably public schools in America in middle to upper middle upper class settings. If you took one of them and there was a kid and my mom taught special ed. Because it wasn't like that. Well, like one poor family, one rich. Did one of them go to a school like in a Brazilian favela or an Indian slum? Because I think the answer is no. That's what I'm getting it because like my mom. They're not doing studies like that there because they got other problems.

My mom taught special ed and there was there were kids. kids in there and she would tell us. She's like, there's nothing wrong with these kids. These kids had a potential. They have been neglected so badly. They have been, since this kid was big enough to crawl, and it has been left on the floor and not talk to, touched or talked or done anything. Like, maybe it got to watch TV, but that's the only education it's had. And now this kid is seven years old in my class and they don't know their colors and they don't know their numbers. Yeah. And they can't sit still, they scream and cry all day, they fight, like, they have environmental retardation that they can't come back from. They're like feral children. That's definitely a thing, for sure.

You ever see those feral boys? I've seen the, I saw a feral. I saw a feral, I saw a feral girl in a YouTube video. That was a YouTube video. That's the Jersey Devil episode. Yeah, I bet you really appreciate it. That's the Jersey Devil. I saw this week an article about the real life Mowgli. Did you see that? I did not. So Mowgli, of course, from the Jungle Book. The real life version is this local boy who was born with some sort of tiny head syndrome. And dude, he looks like he's halfway to mutating into life. Microcephaly. It's not that.

It's a different one because it made the front of his face and those features are big and round like an orangutan with like a smaller skull. He looks like a monkey boy. See if you can find him, Zach. Search real life Mowgli. And there's like a color photo of this boy looking like a monkey boy. And apparently like he was feral. He lived in the woods his whole life and he was so bullied by like the villages that he would flee humans. I thought he was bullied by the guerrillas.

I'm glad I waited for you to finish. No, they were chill. The gorillas were killed. Even the monkeys are piling. No, that's not him. Don't want to be with you. So that's the dog boy. I'm looking for the monkey boy.

It's a color photograph. It was on Reddit this week. It's a ridiculous mistake, Zach. Holler bones are all fucked up. He must have been beaten something fierce. He's just got poor posture, I think. This is a different guy. Yeah, I mean, that guy's on the ball.

Just, you know, really staring. Looking for fruits. I saw that feral, like, Eastern European girl a long time ago. That YouTube video is probably 20 years old at this point. But she was, like, running around on all fours. Is that the right one, Kyle? Oh. Yeah, there he is.

It looks like that guy's wearing a mask. I look at these nationwide IQ studies with a lot of skepticism. I bet if you did China 30 years ago, it'd do pretty poorly. All these uneducated, very dirt poor people and like rice patties and stuff, pull it down the average. But it's hard to deny China has been very successful on the global stage. And Nigeria is on the rise and India is on the rise. and the IQ in these places is scoring low, I guess. But I bet that's a poor indicator of what a country's potential is.

Well, IQ is more closely correlated to future success than even SAT and ACT scores. I've read the bell curve. I get it. It's just, I'm not sure. Look, I don't want to deny that IQ is key. But some people make it out to be everything. Like, oh, you can tell who will be the better way. via IQ.

And it's like, really? Like, oh, yeah, the waitress, the smart one will have better routing and better this and better that. Like, there's a lot that goes into success in addition to IQ. Yeah, work ethic might be more for the waitress than IQ. Actually, you probably prefer a waitress with a lower IQ.

You don't want her up in the clouds. Yeah. You want to grind. I played on. Fucking table two is waiting, honey. When you get the head out of the clouds, you get back chemicals again. Fucking chromosomes.

Yeah. Get the fucking burger over to table too. Let's go. Yeah, you got some dumb brought in there with a good work ethic. She's lickety split. And she didn't get upity on you either. No. She's behaving.

She's bringing those fucking flapjacks out. Lickety split. Take half her tips. You know, to tell her you, to tell her you're going to keep an eye on it for it. So you're going to invest it. It's the way it's over her head. She'll buy it. Get you into Mary Kay after this.

You get me here, bamway, bitch. Oh, I've got a great opportunity in the essential oil department for you. So there are like house moms who get like, you know, they got too much time on their hands and they get hoodwinked into Mary Kay or Huff or where or something like that. That's not the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people. I used to work with people who were just greasy dudes hustling like all that shit. Amway and fucking phone cards. And they'd be selling cards too.

If they'd be selling somebody a car and see, they weren't. going to make the car sell them and be like you're here at amway you're here you need some phone cards like they'd be selling their other shit to these people and it was always the greasiest dudes like like the slimyest like lowest of the low the ones who mistreated everybody in their lives that you couldn't loan money to the ones that were always like a problem like like moses moses was always a fucking problem he was slinging his amway at work he was using the work facts machine printers and computer system to run his other businesses.

Like, not illicitly. He's just like, printing his shit out. Like hundreds of photos of copy paper, using up all the goddamn ink to make flyers for one of his businesses. It was wild. Such a piece of shit.

Yeah, that guy's a douche. Have you ever been close to someone in one of those kind of pyramid schemes? I haven't, thank God. Like, I've, I've no never because I would have to tell them I'd have to be like look you know that unless you are like some incredibly outgoing and slick and talented like person you'll never be anything but somebody's stepping stool in this pyramid scheme that you're part of right like did you have are you married are

you k then you're fucked it's terrible because they put this pressure on you to go to their parties hey, you know, I'm throwing a scrapbooking party. You want to come? And what? Now you're a jerk who doesn't want to support her business, her little dream. You don't want to do scrapbooking with me. What? I thought we were friends.

And that's like they get everyone to sort of leverage the friendships they've built to do this. And I put lock and load on my whole family. Even the girls. That explains why your dad comes so much. I was going to complain. Oh, who's in. Like, dude, the pre-com. It's wild.

Anyway, I was friends with her husband and she's like, you know, look, you need to help out around more here more. I'm working two now. And he's like, baby, what? And, you know, he's working at Cisco. He's fucking bringing the bacon and she's scrapbooking. She rarely lost an argument, but she backed off on that one. And she's basically doing a make-a-wish job, like just completely pretend. A friend's mom was really into those oils, like essential oils, and would bring it up fucking constantly.

That's an IQ test. If you like oils or crystals, I couldn't think less of your critical thinking skills. All right, hang on with the crystal. The only thing with the oils is. Yes. You can like, yes. And I was going to say with the oils, like she would always be trying to push. And I'd be like, these smell great.

but I don't know about the arthritis and tendinitis alleviating claims that putting lemon oil on my forearm is going to do. It seems like it's going to sting because I think you're supposed to dilute this and you don't even know to say that. And so like if you're

into oils because they smell nice in a diffuser, I get it. They smell nice. I like scented candles. Yeah. Yeah. But if you think scented candles are somehow alleviating symptoms of your trick knee, then you might be stupid. You should have that checked out.

Any of that stuff. Okay, so this is a good one. So like we hawked that crazy head laser system. It turned out that does have some benefits, whatever they are. What about the copper bracelets that everybody was wearing for a while? Because I remember Tiger Woods wore one of those. Maybe he was getting paid to wear it, but maybe he was getting paid to wear it. Was it a copper bracelet or the balance bracelets, the silicone ones that we're talking about? I just thought he had some of those copper energy bracelets. Oh, I thought that had copper in it and that was their big to do. Oh, I thought it like squeezed here or something and it was supposed to make your balance better. And then they do these demonstrations where they like push you over, put a bracelet on you and then now they can't push you over.

But they subtly change either the way they push you or your posture. Look, when we push this guy who knows he's about to get pushed, he doesn't fall over. Like remarkable. Yeah, what was that supposed to do? I remember the balance thing, but was Was there anything else with the copper bracelets? Because that kind of faded out of public knowledge. Yeah, I don't know. I remember seeing a lot about copper for a while. Everything needed to be copper because of its healing and antimicrobial properties, I suppose. And like there were copper bracelets and they were weaving copper into like undergarments.

And it was, everything was copper, at least on like infomercials and like places where they were try to rip you off. like copper was the new thing. I'm not, I'm so glad that none of that stuff like catches me. I don't believe in any hoodoo whatsoever. Like, I had this conversation from my dad. Tell me if I was almost dumb.

I'm sorry to interrupt. No, no, go ahead. During COVID, they had copper door pullers. It was just a thing this big that'd go on your keychain

so you didn't have, this is before everyone knew it was airborne. And you could like open doors with this little door puller. And copper, I guess, has like, anti-bacterial properties that make it not stay infected.

Copper is antimicrobial. That part's true. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the idea behind using it to open doors and stuff like that. So it wouldn't have been dumb had I bought it. I just didn't. It takes four hours for copper to completely annihilate any, like, bacteria that's on its surface.

Hmm. That's kind of cool that it does. Pretty good for doorknobs, though. Like, that makes sense. Like, if you get up at a doorknob in a place, like, it's nice, but it's all. always killing bad things. Before the audience roasts me too hard, what was the story I interrupted? Can we go back?

Oh, it's not really a story. I think I was at my dad's house and and we watched The Conjuring. And you know, it's demons and ghosts and stuff like that. And we started talking about like, he's like, do you believe in any of that? I'm like, I don't believe in anything I can't see. He's like, me either. He's like, there's no

fucking big feet out there. Me or you would have seen one by now out in the woods. And I'm like, I'm always saying that. did he say big feet too disgustingly ain't no big feet I'm like yeah there's no big feet

there's no lock nest monsters he's like what about demons well if there are demons then maybe it's I could believe in like maybe some sort of a like energy alien

like if you called it an energy alien some kind of a ball of energy that was alive that just lives in the universe I could believe in that maybe

but I I don't believe that... Less superstitious than just saying demon. An energy alien? Yeah. So like another ethereal be... No, another thing that could be possible. Like, I know what's not possible, and that's that there's a fallen angel that's risen up and is here to tempt me of anything.

Right. That is like... That's described in the Bible in any way. I know there's no those. But there could be some sort of energy alien. I could believe maybe that. Well, then detach demon from any sort of religious kind of... notation. Some sort of malevolent ethereal being, one might call it an energy alien. And it's

out there. I've never seen any of those either. So I don't believe in those. But those are possible, whereas the other demons are just beyond. Like lock nest monster. Like I, no way I believe. Like I haven't been to the lock. I haven't. I understand it's very, very deep, like way deeper than you would imagine. But I don't think there's any lockness monsters in there. And I'm like 100%. I'm not even 100% on OJ, like I said the other day. Someone would have caught a clip of the locknest monster by now. Absolutely they would have. What's your shoe size, Kyle?

12. So if there were a person with substantially larger than average feet, substantially hairier than normal toes, would you think there was Sasquatch in their bloodline? No. No, not necessarily, probably just some sort of Moorish miscegenation that they should be ashamed of and mocked about and to ride it for. When did this become about me?

every day of their mud, blood, passing as a white man lives. No, I'm acutained up. You sweet, boy. White as hell. You sweet. You sweet. You know, Sicily.

Some people call it the most European part of Italy. Certainly not the least. Not the northern Italians, shockingly enough. I think they've zeroed in on what to call you people. They have. Yeah. But acutane fix that. You just take a little acutane, you burn for the rest of your life and it's probably bad for you.

Yeah, that's the opposite of melanatan. Yeah, that's the opposite of melanatan. That was so funny that he brought that melanetan up. Like, yeah, I've done that. You didn't get that tan at any point. I guess maybe you hopped off it pretty rapidly. I got tanner than normal. Like, I'm way tanner than I would normally be.

I'm very pale most of the time. But no, after I got those, I only used it for maybe... Made you red too, right? Six weeks or something else made you red. Maybe. I think my blood pressure got really high. I think that's what made me read. But I'm not sure.

Could have been a number of things. I was taking so many things all of a sudden. I immediately started taking like double fistfuls of like vitamins and supplements and like completely different diet and, you know, all the testosterone and the El carnitine and the melanotan. And, you know, so it could have been anything. Or just a cocktail. Also on the previous thing, Kyle,

you're always ripping on Southern Italy. But your hate for Ireland has completely dissipated ever since you took that test and found out you were like 100% Irish. Because you used to go in on the Irish all the time. No, no, no, no. I'm a self-hating patty. My people are disgusting, cowardice, terroristic, and abominable. Nazi sympathizers at the very least,

if you ask me, you're going to sit out World War II, the closest thing we've ever had to a Tolkien-esque good versus evil war and my knowledge on the planet. It was clearly there were some good guys over there, fucking euthanizing people and just invading peaceful lands and taking them over with a blitzkrieg of methed-out white supremacists. And then you had like some good old voice from, you know, the UK and Australia and Canada and America and France

who were fighting back against that evil and that fascism. I can give like the Irish were on the the kind of end of being fucked with by the English for like centuries. No, that didn't. And so if the English were, well, it hadn't ended. It continued. It had not ended. If the English had been like, you got to come fight for us.

If I were Irish, I would have been like, no, fuck you. I don't care what this is about. I'm not fighting with you guys. Yeah, I know that's one that didn't fight. Yeah. Still, though. You know. Still, you know, you got to.

You got to frame the narrative. Yeah. I mean, apparently the potato famine was because of the English. They did something or another and like caused the potato famine or made it worse or something. I don't remember what. They seized many of the crops. Or just older food. Yeah.

And then I wouldn't give it back to them in a way that sustained their, you know, lives. And at the time, like, you're already bummed. Like, the best food you can hope for is a fucking potato. Like, I like this. I like potatoes. If I could only have one food, it might be the potato. It's Irish as hell of you. Think about it.

You can only have, you get one meat and one other thing. One side for your meat. I would have to pick potato. I don't think there's a better one. It would be the potato because you can do so many things with it. You can make all the cheesy potatoes and the baked potatoes. You can do French fries. There's so many things.

It's so versatile. Yeah, it's incredibly versatile. It would have to be, beef and potatoes. Like that, I think that's the only good option there. Because I would get sick of pork. I would get very bored of chicken because you have to do so much prep to make chicken really tasty. Fish, no, I wouldn't want fish all the time.

Lamb, I'm not bougie trying to pick a, you know, specialty meat. It would have to be just a nice russet potato and a big hunk of beef. Yeah. Because you can get all sorts of different kinds of beef. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. The potato is the master of vegetables. I don't know what kind of potato I'm eating.

I didn't even know potatoes. There's more than one kind of potato, I guess. You're not aware. There are these kinds of potatoes. Jesus. There's more than one type of potatoes. Yeah, I do recognize there are the red ones that kind of look like turnips a little bit. There's a golden potatoes that have a, so there are really two classes of potato.

There are the starchy potatoes like russets and there are the, um, the gummier, the gummy isn't the right word. The golden potatoes aren't starchy. They're more waxy. The waxy potatoes, like golden potatoes and red potatoes. And there are many, many varieties of each branch of that, that separation. I disagree. So like French fries, for example.

Not to my knowledge. French fries would be made out of like a russet potato and baked potatoes or a russet potato. And baked potatoes or a russet potato. They're a starchy potato. But if you're going to, if you want to make like potatoes a groton, something where you're going to cook the potato for a long time in a casserole, you want a waxier potato. Sounds like a made up food. All apart. Potatoes all grottin?

Yeah, love potatoes. Pretty common. I think all grottin means with potato. Potato with potato. That's what it means. Some French. it. Yeah, but I want to know now. Oh, grotton.

Isn't there usually cheese on that? A grottin is a culinary term describing dishes that are topped with grated cheese. I actually didn't know it meant with cheese. I should have said it before, Kyle, to demonstrate my culinary expertise. I mean, I

assumed it was. I didn't want to speak out of school. I feel like russet potatoes are probably the king potato. That's what all those... Is that the big potato? That's the big baked potato. If I held a big, big potato in front of you, would you say that was a Russell? You would know. I would say it was a Russet. Yeah. That's what I'd say now too.

How about this? A Russell potato, perhaps? Every potato's good. Even sweet potatoes, although I don't want those all the time. I think sweet potatoes are overrated. People act like sweet potatoes are the good ones. Get out of here. You just like sugar and cinnamon and butter. Well, yeah, that's what goes on them. Yeah. Do you like candy? I like candy too.

I just don't pretend it's superior of potato. I, look, I agree. But I love sweet potato pie. I think it's superior to pump in my eyes. I could put butter, cinnamon, and sugar on celery, and it'd be dope. Celery is disgusting. It is disgusting. No, it's not.

It's great with chicken. Whenever they bring it, it's fantastic. Whenever I get hot wings and there's celery and carrots in there, I'm like, what? What did you do? Why is this the thing that we do? Oh, but they just bringing you the cream scoop. What is it? What is the cream they send with? Is it blue cheese or blue cheese? Yeah, yeah. It's just a scoop. It's a Dorito for blue cheese.

I'm a blue cheese, man. I don't eat ranch or blue cheese with my celery when I eat hot wings. I just munch the celery and eat the wings. And I'll eat when we when we make chicken wings. What's the ICU in Missouri, Kyle? I'm worried about these people. Three. 71 couldn't make the army yeah I eat a whole we have like baked chicken wings like once a week covered in

you get baking powder don't try this with baking soda you'll get sick baking powder a very thin dusting and then you bake that for 25 minutes at 425 take them out flip them 25 more minutes because this gets them very very crispy because the baking powder sucks all the the moisture out and then you paint the butter. But then you put it on a smoker. Oh, well, I haven't tried that. I've only done the regular buffalo wings. When you guys talk about cooking, you find a way to make it even harder.

I'm like, oh my God, just fucking eat it. Like, I get microwave a fucking potato. I don't know why you haven't gotten into cooking. I'm a flavor fiend. I love cooking so much. Every time I make a meal, it's like as good as I can make it. I love putting attention to detail. I like the knife.

work. I like, I love the gadgets. I like, I like making purees and sauces and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I like, what's your favorite niche gadget that you have? Oh, I don't know. Like, like, I'll tell you, like, the most important one that I've found that for my day-to-day cooking is the, is the potato riser. Like, like, the potato riser makes the smoothest mashed potatoes possible, because if you mush them, then you are, like, you're activating the gluten and you're making like gummy mashed potatoes. There's no gluten and potatoes.

No, gluten is wheat protein. You're making them gummy though. You're doing something. When you mush them up, you make them gummy. I can't remember what's in them that's getting gummed.

Maybe it's the starches. But the potato riser makes them light and fluffy and perfect. And if you watch any professional chef make mashed potatoes, they bake the potato and then they rice the potatoes. That's how I'm,

make my mashed potatoes. And so, so high. I can remember being 12 years old, right? My mom would burn the chicken. And then we'd have it as leftovers. So when you reheat it, it just gets really tough,

really tough. We'd bend forks. All the forks in my home were like a nod straight, no parallel prongs in the house. And she's like, these low expectations you're developing now are going to serve your future wife well. And they have.

I'll eat fucking anything. I'm so sad for you I need some flavor I went to college everyone was complaining about how gross the cafeteria is I'm like this is a good shit right wow look at the chicken I can chew it

that's guys no I love cooking and smoking is like the most manly of cooking that's like barbecuing with a smoker is very like It's very much like a manly easy bake oven, you know, you really just put it, put some sauce on a thing and then putting it in there and sitting in with temperature. Yeah.

And yeah, and it's idiot proof. And it makes just delicious, delicious barbecue. Like a rack of a day. Yeah, you just have to whip early and do it. A pork loin takes like an hour. But like, that's kind of the fastest thing. That's the instant version of smoking. Yeah.

The fastest. The second fastest would be you can do a whole chicken. It's almost not a huge bird in two hours. You can do either beer can chicken or pulled chicken. And then everything else you're really, you know. Yeah, ribs take about 12 hours. Ribs take six. How much is a big hunk of brisket?

How much money? Yeah, money. Like $85 to $100, $100. It's a long way from cheap. How big is this brisket you're buying for $100? I don't know. Like eight, 10 pound brisket. Oh, okay.

Well, that's significant. That's... So you can get smaller briskets. That's at least two days of food. So if you get a small brisket or I think they call it a brisket flat or a point. It's just part of the brisket and it's there like a couple of pounds. They dry out. Like you miss out on everything that makes brisket great, which is all of that collagen and fat that's inside of a big chunk of brisket that slow.

cooks and melts in there. And then like once you're, it, briskets take extra long because once you're done with the cooking process, there's a process where you wrap it up in butcher's paper and put it in like a nice cooler and let it slowly come down to temperature so that the juices

distribute correctly or whatever. And like the guys who do competition briskets are putting them in those coolers for like hours to cool, to slowly, slowly come down in temperature. So it's a real, Brisket is the is the most Oh,

shit. They made this a pain in the ass as well. Oh, yeah. For a nanosecond, I was like, ooh, that sounds interesting

that when you said something about it melting in the extra big one, I'm like, ooh, but do I really want to pay $1,200 for the privilege of waking up at 6 a.m. so I can start cooking

for 12 hours to have a dinner. But you're not cooking for 12 hours. It's just a set it and then you forget it until the next time you show up. My day is already ruined because I saw a clock that read 6 a.m. Okay, well then it's, I don't think this is in the cards for you, man.

You can do it the night before. Like, you could put it in at like 10 p.m. and then go to bed. And like some of these things, like I've done a pork butt before. And I think it took 17 hours. I put that in the day before at like, like in the evening. And it was done like the next day in like the afternoon or something.

like that. And pork butt is less intensive than like ribs and whatnot. You can really kind of set it and forget a pork butt or a pork shoulder. You throw then that in at 10 p.m. The next day at 4.30 p.m. You've got delicious pulled pork sandwiches for like like eight 10 pounds of and they're so cheap like an eight pound pork butt is like $22 or something like that. And it's eight pounds of pulled pork and then you know if you go to the barbecue place a pound of pulled pork is like 20 fucking dollars itself yeah it's it's a huge savings compared to actually just ordering barbecue or going to a barbecue restaurant and it's so much better you get to pick here's there's complications woody there's all these things you can do so you can you can use all these different kinds of woods so there's cherry and and apple and hickory and there's butcher blends where they blend pecan in there and oak and all and all sorts of nonsense and then you can sprit to your

meats, you know, you could spritz them. Little apple cider vinegar. Little apple cider vinegar and some apple juice. Really, really tell the difference if you burnt cherry pellets or oak pellets. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's in there for so long.

Like, you can really tell. If you're just starting out, I always say hickory is the most like baseline. Like you're never going to go wrong with just hickory. But you've got like a. It's probably what you've had before. If you've ever had smoked something from a restaurant. Is cherry sweeter? Cherry sweeter?

Yeah. Apple, cherry. You know those are the ones I'd gravitate towards. Okay, well then for you, cherry wood. Cherrywood. That's what you should get. Apple sounds appealing too, but yeah, those are the ones that capture my imagination. I just know, Kyle, as you do, that if Woody got a smoker and made one, like, pork

butt correctly, he'd be like, I'm never going back to George Forman again. I'm never, never going back. It's really tasty. I love smoked meats. Like, I've smoked, I've smoked, I'll take a pot of baked beans that are like out of the can and just put the pot in there, like, next to my pork. And the smoke is like infiltrating the fucking baked beans. And they're like delicious now. They're super smoky beans.

I've smoked macaroni and cheeses. I smoked a cheesecake one time. I've, uh, I don't know about that. I saw the recipe online. You smoked a cheesecake. I smoked the cheesecake. Smoky. It was smoky and sweet and cheesy.

I've smoked like potatoes of grottin. I've done chickens and pork bugs. Have you done salsa yet? No, I don't think I want smoky salsa. I smoked a ton of hot peppers and whatnot. Oh. And then like ground them up and blended them added what needed to be added. And it was fantastic.

It's a pblanos in there? A couple, a number of pablanos, because that's more the baseline flavor, but still good pepper flavor. And then I had probably like nine habaneros and like a dozen jalapeno. I like really spicy food. It's a like a spying spicy. Whereas jalapeno was more of a like a, like a, I don't know, like a slap on the tongue more than a stab to my tongue. But it's also, it's being, you know, mixed in with some bell peppers, some pabloano.

And so it's not like you're getting just a mouthful of habanero because you're right. Right. Like you wouldn't want to take a bite of a habanero pepper. That wouldn't be pleasant. Yeah, I love the smoker. I wish you'd get into cooking, Woody. It's the, it's the easiest of cooking. It's, you know, you're not even... There is no way easier to start cooking than to buy a smoker. Because you'll look at the recipe, Woody, and they'll be like, cover this in mustard and then wrap it in foil and put it in the smoker for 17 hours. In between now and the next step, kind of just live your day. Like just do whatever you please. Yeah.

If I were to, I think I'd want one with all sorts of like Bluetooth app and stuff. Do you guys find that you benefit from that as a way to monitor it? I don't use my. So you're cooking the meat. So you're cooking the because there aren't like multiple stages with like sometimes when you're cooking, it's like, like you're double frying French fries. It's like, okay, so 325 degrees for four minutes and then pull them out and then 375 degrees for two minutes.

It's not like that. So I just put a thermometer inside the piece of meat when it tells my phone when the meat is about to reach like its pull-out time. And then I kind of hover over it for that last degree. So with like pork, that's 145 degrees. So you just need to know when it's getting to around 140 or so to go out there and get ready to pull it off.

So you really don't need Bluetooth or anything. But they all have it. Yeah, it's so easy. The easiest way to cook. Well, anyway, I'm hungry. And I know Woody in the talk of cooking, he's got those pretzels. Yeah, yeah. Jackie said she needed to shop and I'm like, do we have soft pretzels for tonight?

And she's like, I'm not a barbarian. I'm prepared. That rocks. All right. Check out our sponsors. Links in the description, PKK 813.