Painkiller Already - PKA 817: Indians Vs Electricity 2: Electric Vindaloo

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

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PKK 817, no guess this week, just the boys, Taylor. This episode of PQA is brought to you by Audible, also lock and load, also the merch. Big week in space and a big week in something space jam adjacent to the WNBA, where every clip I see seems to be one of those like star girls just getting pummeled. And then the league being like, it's fine. No big deal. And now boys want to play, right, Kyle? That's what you're telling me.

I haven't looked into it at all. They're entering the draft. Is that what they're doing? I don't know if they're allowed to do that. So the WNBA has to be the most progressive sports league in America, like the left most whatever. And Sophie Cunningham got in like hot water-ish, more so with like people than the actual like organization.

by saying that she thinks that trans women should keep out. She called them biological men. We all know what she's talking about. And she says that they shouldn't be in the game that we need to protect girls from this kind of athlete. And even though I'm like the left guy on the thing,

I think she's right. Like let's have boys sports and like, you know, the details of how you do that without examining the girls. I'm not fully, but come on, come on. Let's keep boys in the boys. boys stuff and the girls and the girls stuff. How about a driving test? Now we're talking. Now we're talking, right? Let's let them play Call of Duty. If they totally suck, they can play in the girls league.

Send it through like 10 like drive-thrus and then we look at their rims. This is making a lot of sense. Flawless. It's making a lot of sense. Yes. So anyway, they've been like defending trans people and issues like that like organizationally. So now a couple of retired. I think there's two retired NBA guys are like, well, I'm going to go for the draft. They would not be the oldest player in the WMBA. So it's not like they can just set an age limit. And the WMBA is now between a rock and a hard place because either they have to put their money where the mouth is and the mouth is and let these men play.

And I say men freely because they're not like joking, right? They're just guys. And they have to either let the men play or they have to admit that they didn't really mean all that stuff they set. And it's fun to watch them in this hard spot. Yeah, they might get a good red buttons and both of them suck for them now. Yeah, I mean, that's inevitable. It's what's always pointed out whenever someone goes all the way to the left on this issue. And they're like, yeah, trans women are women.

And this is women's sports. And women's sports needs to be protected. And that includes the protection of trans women to play those sports. It's like, wow, you've, like, created some. sort of a event horizon in your brain where like reality ended at that cliff and that's where you exist now. Then when they put them to the test and they actually put a, it's the South Park episode, you know, when they have macho man Randy Savage come and compete in the women's games and

he just crushes everybody. It's like, next event, boxing. And it beats the shit out of a woman. Like, that's the whole point that comedians have been making for a while. But now apparently, I don't know who gets to the. side of the WNBA whether former NBA, is it former NBA players? Is that what you said? Literally former NBA

players. I'd have to look up their names or maybe Zach knows off the top of his head. But you're not stars. Rodman in there. Robin used to wear a dress. There you go. Robin used to rock that. Remember when Robin wore the dress in the 90s? A wedding dress, I think. A wedding dress. I remember him.

Let him in. He's the guy. Robin would crush the WNBA still at 60. I think I think many of these guys. How do you pronounce this name? Ennis Cantor? Anus. A niece canter would be my guess Or maybe he's from like Alabama

And it's Enis Enis Could be But Ennis Oh over two But yeah It's kind of it is kind of amusing To see them really doing the

Soapbox thing And then they get called on it And they're like well But you know You know what we meant We were saying that for like social media Like This guy's gonna pull in the shit out of this woman

ball. Like, we got no chance. It's going to be dunking over it. If I were in charge of, like, the right wing, like, uh, gay crusher, like, uh, segment, my main, not trans, that my main thing would be to drive a wedge between gay people and trans people, because it's not the same thing at all, not even approaching the same thing. It's two completely different things. Yeah. Well, but they, they've really got broad with that flag. Like, you've seen the memes of like they added like a black and brown band to the gay flag like years ago and every once in a while like some not politically plugged in guy on Twitter some black guy will be like hold up why we on the flag like the fuck is this you were just lumped in it's yeah

everybody lumped in everybody's protected so nobody's protected and uh and it never makes any sense. And it is an issue that the Wright always wins on. Trump calls it he calls it out when he brings these up. He's like, this is a 90-10 issue. I love this issue. Yes. They want to talk about this issue? Wonderful. Let's talk about this today because you guys

hate the fact that I'm a pedophile. But hey, these guys want little boys in your girls' locker room. You know, I'm safe in there. It is a 90-10 issue. I feel like it's losing its strength a little bit though. Like at this point, when you're talking about men women's sports for like the ninth year in a row.

It's like, motherfucker, we lost three wars to Iran this year. And you want to talk about sports? Like, the president doesn't even do this. But he has nothing to do with the NBA stars joining the WNBA. That's not his job. Somebody has to protect women. Shut up. This is a total bullshit issue.

It's a culture war issue. It's an identity politics. It's not actually a, like, a issue that government works on. It's just a way to get you. to hate the Democrats for choosing the dumb side of this. And I feel like it's losing its effect, but we'll see. We'll see. They should stop picking the dumb side.

They should stop picking the dumb side. That's how I felt about Republicans on some issues too. I think they have the unpopular side of abortion. I know they do. The polls all say it. And when they even hold like abortions, like voter referendums in red states, they still win. Like red states vote to keep abortion.

I know Missouri did. But, yeah. So they're on the losing side of that issue. they stick to it. The Republicans were on the wrong side of like hating gay people for no fucking reason for decades. But they seem to have lightened up on that. And I hope that the Democrats can lighten up on their dumb side. Yes, I'm going to protect women. And thank God Donald Trump is in the, is in the White House, because he's going to do it. All right, he's going to wrap his big meaty arms around them in a

loving embrace. And he's going to protect them for me. Whether they like it or not. Whether they like it or not. That's how we protect. Because you can do that when you're a star. He's got to protect the integrity of the sport. I mean, one of the most integral, like, isn't like the whole crux of the WNBA that I've read that, like, it's never made money. It loses money every year and all the NBA players have to subsidize it. And then I would be a little peeved if I was like some league minimum NBA guy. And then they're like, we need more money. And he's like, well, I mean, stop posting like LeBron's salary and acting like we're all getting that.

Like, I sit on the bench and I make. you know, 360 and my career is going to last five years or whatever. NBA players are the highest pay. Every one of them is making a million every year, I think, like the rookie minimum. But what was I going to say?

I think WMBA is a top of the way. I don't know if it's, but when Caitlin Clark joined the league, its revenue went through the roof, but its expenses did too. Like they expanded on it. It's a problem now. Yeah,

so they just reached a major milestone. Apparently now they have enough. income to trigger the league's first ever player revenue sharing pool. So the first time profit markers, the league met target growth, triggered $8 million payout pool for players under revenue sharing rules alongside over $9 million in licensing and merchandise revenue. This is such small potatoes. Like if you heard that there was a guy on an NBA team making $8 or $9 million

himself, you'd be like, ah, I guess he sits on the bench a lot. Like, they're bragging about their $8 million profit. Yeah, it's mostly unprofitable. And the thing that, like, every time I've watched highlights from it, I just see people beating up Caitlin Clark and the league letting them get away with it. Yeah, it seems pretty mean. Highlights are pretty misleading, but they really seem racist against her. And Sophie Cunningham.

That woman. Remember Sophie Cunningham ripped that woman down after they hit Caitlin Clark? It went wild. Everyone loved it. The opposite happened. Sophie Cunningham was on the. receiving end. And then the player got ejected.

She got a fragrant too, which means flagrant too. It didn't smell good. Fragrant to it. And they kicked her out of the game immediately. And she's in the locker room tweeting hashtag white privilege. And she claims that wasn't about the foul. I don't know how she gets away with that. But like she basically beat up Sophie Cunningham, called it white privilege.

I don't get it. I don't get it either. Seems like, was that the one. where it's like she so Sophie Cunningham is coming down the court like to to layup put on a just a masterclass of WNBA layup and then that that that lady comes behind her and just like does a a cross face like if you ever did wrestling you remember like the the cross face thing you like grind your your wrist and her nose a little bit yeah I remember her grabbing the back of her head and pulling her down but I'm not confident enough to say you have it wrong or they're different

place I thought so I'm also yeah I don't have my finger on the pulse of this sport. I don't even care about the good basketball league, much less the, you know, this Candyland who gives a fuck, you know, pretend one. But it does seem like they've really squandered that Caitlin Clark girl because nobody gave a fuck about this. And now the small pittance of people who do give a fuck started giving a fuck because she joined the league and was like apparently going gangbusters on it. And then the whole league is just beating her up. And the refs are like, whatever. You can't Can't protect our Gretzky. Taylor was right.

She definitely was behind with a cross face. I don't know what play I was thinking of. It's bigger than their Gretzky. There's no, I don't know who else. Maybe you can compare it to someone like the way that Ronda Rousey brought like her sport into the mainstream and exposed it to a brand new audience of people. She's the Ronda Rousey or something like that for sport, someone who transcends the whole sport and does. Because we know what she looks like. We know who Caitlin Clark is.

That alone is the thing. She's in those all-state commercials. To add to your point. How many players her age or younger are her age, her type of famous? Like, what is she, 23? How many under 23-year-old NBA players can you name? Like you can name LeBron, like guys who have been stars for a decade. You may have heard of Steph Curry, stuff like that.

Yeah. But, you know, have you heard of. freaking Tyrese Maxie. He's 25, I think. Nope. That's like, he's like maybe the most famous 25-year-old NBA player. He's a sixer, so I could be biased. But, you know, Anthony Edwards, do you know him? I don't know any of them. If we played a game called name NBA players, I'd get to like four.

Okay, I could do one. You've heard of Victor Webbingiana, I'm sure, the super tall guy. I didn't know his name was France. Okay, all right. But you do Caitlin Clark's first and last name. That says something about her level of fame. I have to do in the shower, right? Yeah, I think she was in college at the time. Kyle's looking at he's like, what is it? She's a basketball player or some shit?

Like just you don't even know that part of it at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like a racing stripe. I was just leering at women. I know it was her. I just figured, you know, University of Indiana, it's cool. The head of WNBA marketing is like, shitting the bed

so bad with her. You realize this is kind of your golden goose. Like you should be doing like putting her on the trying to like get a deal with I don't know who makes those NBA video games. See if you can get her to be a big promoter of that. Get a new market of people to play those. If you looked across the entire NBA,

she'd be a top five player. Right. This is my understanding of it. She's a top five player. Is she the best in the league? No, but she's really good. If you looked at her position,

there's a strong argument for she's the number one player. When her, like, fellow players were voting about All-Star, they put her as the 11th best at her position. You racist fucks. Yeah, they just hate her. They just don't like that she's white. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

Like, I try not to, like, throw racism out there. And this, you know, like the people who criticize Israel suddenly are anti-Semite. You're like, no, I'm talking about the actions of the Israeli government. It doesn't matter if they're, you know, what, who, they are. And I try not to just be like, oh, if you don't like Caitlin, you're obviously racist. But it's everything, every sign points to the same place. Yeah. Yeah, it does seem to be that. But, you know, they're squandering their golden goose. They're going to give you back to a relevancy. Yeah, they're fine with that. They would, they would rather have less eyes than have all

these white eyes that don't want to watch them play anyway. Even with the money? they want the money but they don't there's a complete disconnect between getting the money and earning the money for them yeah yeah and I guess I guess the money isn't a big deal

because they're like oh the NBA will just pay for it again like who cares they just get a huge pay raise like 10x maybe like a big deal and that's really off the strength of what Caitlin Clark is doing for their league-wide

revenues totally it totally is She, she, she, no other athlete has done what she's done. Like, I mentioned Ronda Rousey because that's the closest thing. All of a sudden you had a women's MMA star. Couldn't name another one on Howard Stern, on the Tonight Show, in movies, on Sports Illustrated covers. Like, lifting the sport up a little bit. She totally lifted the sport up and put it on her shoulders for them to like, what is it, two, three years after her being in the league. Now the entire league gets a raise.

That's crazy. That's a huge. Ronda Rousey was super hot. I, super hot. I thought she was very attractive. You know, you've seen the Sports Illustrated outtakes where she's, it's just full frontal nudity, I'm sure. Sure, sure. She's pretty hot.

I mean, you can see her vagina. But, you know, she also has, like, masculine features. And she, if you watch her talk enough, doing, like, enough interviews and enough, especially the, the interviews or, or times when she's, on camera, like on her farm, just like doing stuff. I don't like her personality. Like, like, she seems like

it's kind of masculine and rough. And it's kind of, it's very, I see her differently. I see her differently. I see her as catty and bitchy, not necessarily masculine. When she's around,

who was the far hotter person who she kept arm barring? Meg, Tisha Tate. When she was anywhere near Misha Tate, oh my God, she turned into the biggest high school mean girl ever. And it was a huge turnoff for me. And she's low class. I mean, she's super rich. But I think she was raised in a really low class way.

And that turns me off. She's just gruff and bitchy, gruff, bully mountain woman. And like, like. Yeah, that's what I said. But it leaves out the catiness that she. has in her too. Oh, the catiness I think makes total sense though because he's this rising star

way more talented than the rest of the competition and then she would see those other girls get attention and get money and I'm sure get during that time especially get sponsors because they're just prettier. Like there's no way if you're a kind of pretty girl

and in that sport, if you're Rhonda Rousey, she's this perfect little exception where okay she's the best physically, she's the best, She's the most talented, and she's, like, pretty hot. There are definitely hotter ones. If she sees people who are that much less talented than her getting anything that she wanted, she's going to be super catty.

And she was pretty at times. Like I said, she's in, she's in movies, you know. She's all over my TV for a long time. She's incredibly physically fit. I didn't think she was, all the things you listed turned me off about her, too. And she also kind of has like a round, masculine, manish face. See, I didn't see it as masculine, but I do think she's puffy between fights. Her deltoids lose all definition.

And she just turns into this puffy, like, almost, I don't want to say non-athlete because you know it's there, but almost like a country strong. Agreed. Agreed on all points. Yeah. Yeah. When she's in Olympian mode, she looks classy and elegant almost. But any other time, when you see her on that fucking farm of hers, like milk in the goats, it's like, oh, God. Is she still married?

Travis Brown? I believe they have some sort of ranch in Cali or somewhere in that area, and they've got like all sorts of stuff. I remember seeing like water purifying systems and all sorts of, it looked like they could live off this farm. Damn. Definitely. I guess they got a thing.

Travis Brown, if you don't know, is a heavyweight fighter. He was not very liked. But Travis, I know you might have thought I just said shit about your wife. Definitely didn't. That was someone else who looks like me.

Bring it, Travis. You've got so much CTE. You'll forget which one of us said it. he'll take a picture he'll have it on his phone he'll show up and just Travis I like to do all my fighting over Twitter come at me 6-7-254 I like your chances boys like yeah we add us together we're like 12 feet tall and close to 500 pounds get out of here we got this guy she did a giant trench coat maybe we're basically a gorilla you know like you put us yes put us put me and Woody together

inside a guerrilla suit. I've got the right arm and he's got the left arm and we're just wedged in there together. And then we face off against Travis Brown in the guerrilla suit. How's that going to, that's going to make it so much harder. I hope he's not gay. It really is. It really is, Taylor. We would have had a much better shot outside the suit. Which one of us is the butt in the suit? Because I don't want to be that one. One of he's trying to like look through the mesh part of the mouth like a Disney World like mascot. No, it's either realistic. I need him to fear that we're a gorilla at first until we like fall immediately.

Until we do that like three-legged walk. Three stitches. Yeah. Damn. Well, they are still married according to Wikipedia. Okay. Well, good for that. But I hope they have children and they're giant masculine children.

Oh, she was pregnant like a year or two ago. So they did that. Did she have a boy or a girl? Let's see. I don't know. says he's got three kids and her section doesn't have kids on it. And now I have to like click into the fucking full article and see how many. She has two daughters with her husband, Travis Brown.

They both have stupid made up names that I'm not going to attempt. Literally they sound like Hawaiian National Park names. Here's my suggestion. La Cuccahacawa. Travis Brown and Rhonda Rousey's offspring. need a basketball. And they can go in there and be enforcers. Let them try to pick on her the way they do Caitlin Clark.

Rhonda Rouse's kid will not be, will not suffer fools. Brock Lesnar's kid is the one that should play some WNBA. She could do work right now. She could probably make the cut. Like, honestly, like with no. If I'm with, if I'm Caitlin Clark right now,

I'm like, Sophie, you've been great. I appreciate everything you tried to do. Let's get Brock's daughter in here. I need an enforcer. That would be in the 80s in hockey. He prefer mongo.

That would be funny if like as soon as she enters the league, all those girls that have been like picking on Caitlin Clark because they don't like that she's white are suddenly completely fine with Brock Lesnar's daughter. Like we're just happy she's here, you know? We have a picture of Brocklesner's daughter. Give us a one that really shows what we're talking about.

Brock Lesnar's daughter could wear cornrows and a Fubu shirt and like walk in there and they would look the other fucking way. Nobody's messing with Brock Leser's daughter. You're probably right. I don't want to mess with Brock Lezzer's daughter. I know, but these WMBA women are big girls too. They might need to do it. They're tall, catty bitches that'll poke you in the eye. They're tall, solid fat bitches too. You tell me this, this girl right here doesn't know how to grab a double leg real quick and kill you on that hardwood. I take it back. She'd have like special attacks. She'd have like a pocket shot put. This is ridiculous. This girl,

This girl's get a high crotch on one of them W-A-N-B-A-B-A bitches and bounce her head off the backboard if she wanted. Like, she could lift one of those girls over her own head. She lives so powerful and explosive and... I would have to take as... I would have to take as much tea as she does to get those barns and less. Her hair is nice in this picture. By the way, her hair is like a 10 out of 10, in my opinion, in this picture.

It's so pretty. Brock is going to be at the game, too. I'm not going to make fun of this girl anymore. She can't help this. Look at that. Apple didn't fall far from the tree on this one. I don't know what mom looks like, but she had no say in this kid.

His balls had a kid together, and it's hurt. That girl's mother was a left testicle. That is an enormous, scary woman. That's what you hear about like Viking women fighting in wars. That's what I picture. I pictured that. not some like 120 pound like blonde girl that bitch right there i'd be so scared of that girl

i need to stand next to her to like i think that's always the the tail of the tape my dad always talks about being he was uh he was somewhere and they were they were doing like wrestling was in town and he was he was like and rick flare got into the elevator with him he was like i was thinking i could beat the shit out of rick flair what the hell he's not that big i could whoop his ass right here in this elevator. TV lied to me. He's disappointed. He wasn't that big Kyle. I could have took him. Well, he is kind of an actor.

But I wonder how I would feel if I stood next to Brock Lesnar's daughter. Would I immediately be like, oh, shit. Oh, let's get out of here. She might know that we're here to size her up. Now I'm afraid she's going to call me out. She might be like five, six. because she's a wrestler, right? Usually they're kind of short. She's 5-9, and I think she does shot foot.

Oh, I thought she was a multi-sport athlete. She screams multi-sport to me. We could both be right. But I'll look at it out. Like all the field events, it seems like she would excel at, you know, not the track so much, but the field, she looks like a wrestler. She could do water polo. She could do any of that, like, scary,

big bitch shit. She's so scary. I'd like to stand next to her in, let's see. But yeah, shot foot and hammer is, I guess the hammer is also called the weight throw. Mm-hmm. And that's what she does. The hammer throw looks nothing like a hammer. I remember hearing about the hammer throw as a kid

and just picturing someone with a hammer and then seeing the hammer throw and they've got like a weight on the end of a chain and they're spinning around. Oh, yeah. It's like a medieval flail or something. Yeah. You ever watch Matilda? little movie from back in the day about the little girl with the teleconesis with danie de vizos the principal's

the principal mrs trunchbill i believe she was an olympic hammer throw athlete that was part of her backstory for being like not only like a mean person but also like physically imposing and there's a scene where she grabs this little girl by her pigtails and does the hammer throw with a child and like throws the child like into the distance you know it's a little it's a silly kids movie with telecanican When I was a freshman in high school, they recruited me for the wrestling team. The coaches are like, what do you should come wrestle? What do you need to wrestle for us? Whatever.

Adult me realizes this is kind of an insult. They just needed someone who weighed 88 pounds to make the smallest weight classes instead of just instantly forfeiting. That's why they wanted me. If your high school coaches are going after you to do the hammer throw, they're kind of saying something about you, right? Like I don't know if you're a girl that I feel like it's the gender, you know, parallel. You should do the hammer throw. You're a big fat bitch. You look country strong and unappetizing. You can be a hammer thrower. I've said it before. I got thrown in a middle school track in the shot put area. Same. Me and the other, you know, not quite as quick people.

I bet you were good at it young, right? I was not bad at the shot put part. And the discus, I only had to do once and like it was such a joke where they were like I had to learn basically how to do a discus throw from the person who went before me who was just another eighth grader and it's like oh there's more technique to this I think I did it wrong

but yeah I think my middle school track and field coach watched me fucking flat foot my way through one 100 meter hurdles and was like get on over their champ and then it's like and then it's me and everybody else all the other big fellas

and just standing in a circle. I've looked at it before. I'm pretty sure I can beat the world record women's shot put. Have you ever done shot put? Yeah, I did it in elementary school and middle school. My parents always cultivated any interest I had at all. Like,

immediately, like immediately I had my own shot foot ball. And then there was like a, and in the backyard they had created like a thing with like lines and a standing place. Oh, damn. Yeah. So we could measure my progress as a shot putter. Did go anywhere.

Didn't go anywhere. The ball got rusty and I didn't want to throw it then. Kyle, the record is over 74 feet. How much is their shot foot way? Yeah, they have a smaller shot put. So you'd get to use that one. I'll look it up. 16 pounds.

That's heavier than I thought it would have been. That's so much. So women's shot put ways? Exactly. Oh, wait, wait. where did I get 16 pounds? Oh shit, that's the men's. That's the men's.

8.8 pounds. 8.82, yeah, 4 kilograms. It says, I looked up women's shot put and it said contrasting with the 16 pound men shot put but I was scanning. That's how I fucked it up. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. I think with training, I break the world record.

Give me like less than a year. I think 74 feet? 74 feet is how far I throw a baseball. That can't be true. I made it up. I don't know how far. Are you like just passing it? Like what are you doing?

I can do that because I'm picturing like from archery. Like I know what 25 yards is exactly. Like part of archery is being in the tree and being like, ah, he's 26 yards away and like gauging. I think he'd do that. Definitely training. 25 yards isn't that far. For some reason 76 feet seemed farther.

You said the yards and it's like, oh, no, I actually. I was in the archery long enough to know that. That would be a very short range shoot with a gun. 20 yards is like the closest, you know, target or pinned that you're usually engaging with an archery. I think if you're like you do that, I know you could. I feel like you've got a better

like base. Like, I feel like that sort of like physical activity like chunk in that thing would be all, you'd be all about that. So long arms are helpful in throwing a baseball. Shot puts a different motion. I wonder if length is helpful in a shot put too. I don't know. It's more

of a, it's more of a spinning and then piston motion with shot put, whereas with baseball, you're almost creating like a whip out of your long arm and there's rotation and all sorts of stuff going on. Yeah. There are rules for how, like, I don't think you're allowed to just remake the wheel in shot put and be like, I'm going to do like a hook shot. They're like, no, you have to do this piston thing. Oh, I bet you're right. Yeah, some guy would do it like a hammer and break the record otherwise. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Not one of the most interesting sports. Like... It does seem a little anti-climactic, right? It just arches, it thuds. Ooh. If they put, like, maybe ceramic pots out there with little scores on them that you could also try and hit,

so they shatter. No, we bury our enemies up to their necks in the turf out there, and they're out there at the various ranges. Oh, no, like he's been sure. Ooh. Who's our enemy? Well, it would depend on the dead.

We need a rival podcast. Not our enemies. Jesus. Like the nature's enemies. The nation's enemies. I don't know. I need a podcast. He's like on the other side of this or something.

Not that I'm actually angry with Dickman. Yeah. We need a, yeah, we, what if he's aren't running low on ISIS guys? That wouldn't be an deal. We'll never run low on ISIS guys. We make a new crop every year. That's true. Now, now it's a self-reux.

fulfilling economy yeah so sustained the economy of shot putting the ISIS guys out of there where you could discus them I guess that's really all you could do that or hammer throw you got what about you neglected the javelin oh javan what do you think it my god

the javlin would be this that's the one I'm there for that would require some accuracy that one those guys are heave in those fucking things those go and we've all seen the video of that one dude not paying attention as like the javelin

ref and he gets hit with it in the leg and it's like I can't imagine having a moment lapse in paying attention when it's like ah so chilies or applebees after the ah ah ha ha ha he's stabbed through the yeah keep your eye on the ball or the spear instead of burying the jabblin victims we should have them on that one bar sex toy just presented out there the one bar I don't You're not familiar with this? Okay, so picture a pole about four feet tall with a dildo on it and handcuffs at the base. I put you on the dildo and then handcuff your feet to the base and you're stuck. There's no leaving that situation.

People are going to hate that, Woody. People are going to absolutely hate that. It's for the javelin people in the audience, Taylor. Why do you know about the one bar? We don't want to talk about why I know about the one. He saw an ISIS video. That seems like something they did. Yeah, yeah.

Not an ISIS video. That was probably a Gena Jameson video, maybe. The one bar. That seems like a quick trip to Home Depot and they're getting you on the name brand. No, I think you want the plumbing pipe. You made one.

You don't want to actually get impaled, you know, you don't want that. No, no. But I think, yeah, there's really no other way to make it entertain. Or do you remember in an apocalyptic, how the Aztecs or the Mayans or whatever, were taking the slaves of the surrounding tribes and like making them stand out there and do little dances and they were throwing javelins and throwing rocks and that's kind of more what I was picturing and that of course like they would there would be guys at different tiers of distance and depending on if you bypass the shield if you eliminated the ISIS fighter or if you well I mean it's got to be sporting right they don't get a shield this is

I kind of want to tie them together so it makes it really hard for them to dodge. Imagine you tie every man to the other man. Like my right foot is tied to your left foot. So dodging is all weird now and I'm slowing you down. Yeah, I like that. Did they do that in Apocalyptic?

I don't remember. Or they had like chains on them. I don't remember exactly. Maybe not chains. I don't know how advanced their metallurgy was. You've got your one bar here. You found a... Zach is asleep at the wheel.

Zach! It's okay. It's been minutes. I totally pictured this. He said, I don't get paid by the hour. What are you talking about? He checks in every hour on the hour. See?

This is a completely viable way to hold our javelin targets. Just going to hop away. You look great in that outfit. Thank you. I've been working hard on my pecks. Fucking slimming, too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, it's like, it's like flanged, like an arrowhead.

Like what that's going to... You need the tip to be a little, you know, narrower than the rest. Yeah, I'm happy with all this. This seems dangerous to me, though. This seems dangerous. I feel like this could be one of those bedroom accidents that you're like, all right, I'm going to call 911, but we got to get cleaned up before they get here.

Baby, help me come up with a story that doesn't make me look silly. Well, we will. were practicing a new kind of shot put. So first we got to get you in the yard. Yeah. Damn. I think we could really improve those sports. Because nobody cares about track and field.

I feel like everybody pretends to once where they're like an Usain Bolt guy breaks a record. And then within 25 minutes, they're like, well, that really wasn't that much faster than the last time he ran. planet and that other guy behind him is also pretty quick. Every four years, it's kind of interesting. But both track and field and swimming, if you ever see it live, those guys are so much faster than I thought.

Like, you see a swimmer? They're going at like jogging speed. Like you would have a hard time keeping up on foot following one of the faster swimmers at the pool. It's impressive to see. And the weight that comes off them, it's a different thing. The runners, like, they're not traveling at human speeds. that's some sort of animal or automotive progress that they're making over there.

It's neat to see. I want animal comparisons to all the races. So there would be like a chained in gazelle where he can only run forward. And there's like fucking berries at the end or something. And then you can get a feel for like, man, Hussein bolts pretty quick for a human. But that gazelle like stopped a shit twice and he still dominated. And in the swimming, you could have like two, you know, parched off lanes for some kind of fish. or perhaps a gator.

And at the end is like a bloody animal head. And then you see how fast they go compared to the people. And now we're adding almost like almost a prose versus Joe's, really. Fox did this in like 2001. It was called like man versus animal. And like they literally had like a man race, like a leopard or something and like a strength pull between like people and like an elephant. Like all the things you would imagine. They did.

Yeah, but that's demoralizing because I remember, I seem to remember that, or at least the clip of like four guys at a zoo doing Tug of War with a tiger. And like the tiger has really just doesn't have a conception that it's a contest or that like it should be trying harder. I think animals understand like tug of war. Like like that I think that's a simple enough concept. They're like, oh, you want it? No, I want it. Let's see. Like they seem to get.

Dogs and tigers. They all seem to like tug of war. Those like five jacked guys. who were big dudes got thrashed by that tiger. I need to see a fair one because usually there's like a 90 degree bend. They both stand still and I'm like, well, that was a tie and half of the work was done by friction on the hole in the wall between them. I want to see a fair fight where they're both trying to win. Bodybuilder versus lion.

I need to find the tiger one because tigers are a lot bigger. than lions. They are bigger and it's just so often it's not a straight rope and I feel like the friction against the hole in the wall is doing a lot of work yeah the hole in the wall is too high

and so you end up with you know it arcing at the hole so like the man's hands are lower than the hole and the lion is definitely always lower than the hole I just watched a bunch of videos of people doing this maybe yeah

Can the lion get to the hole in the wall? Is it high for safety? It's a small hole, like maybe baseball-sized. Are you watching one with the Jack's Black guy against the female lion? Yeah. Is that a female lion? Honestly, I'm watching it go on. It's kind of a tie.

The lion pulled it and called the black guy off guard. Then the inverse of that happened where he caught the lion off guard. the lion really has bad tactics because it's doing this thing over and over where it like yanks and then it lets go over the rope to be like ah now i'll re-bite up here and then the humans like yank yank yank yank like while there's no lion on it and then he has to do it again. Humans pulling in bad faith that's all that's about okay no this is just him winning with his mind oh the lion lets go and the human let's go and starts flexing honestly i think i would give a tip of the hat to the lion on this but not by a lot.

Definitely. It seems like whoever's trying at the moment is the winner, but by and large, I like what the lion accomplish more. If the animal has even a cursory interest in the activity, they're just going to roll you. And if they don't do stupid stuff, like let go with their mouth to try and re-bite it

in a closer area to the hole and let you, like, steal three feet back over and over, like if that lion just walked backwards, kind of calmly. But again, he doesn't know tactics. He's not like squid-gaman where they're like, he doesn't get a pass for that.

If the lion is employing terrible tactics and the lion is not good at tug-of-war. You don't get to say you're good at tug-of-war except for all the times you let go of the rope. If you were on my team and you did that, I'd be like, you know what? I'm not sure Taylor's a positive on this team. He thinks letting go of the rope all the time

is a good idea. But the question isn't who's better at tug of war. The question is who's stronger and better at pulling. Well, obviously the animal. I don't care who's better at tug of war. It's measured by tug of war. Dude, Discovery UK has a video where they're like making these people go up on a platform with like a dirty lake under them.

And on the other side of the platform is like a 1400 pound bear. And they're clearly having like I just saw a bit where from what I could tell they had to like reuse a clip of the guy struggle. because it was so fast where like of course a 1400 pound bear like it just walks backward a little bit like you can't you can't stop that and you have to the announcers rock and heart place like oh close

all three of us couldn't stop that I would run we just have to hope that he's been fed that he's not I hope I'm faster than Taylor how do you think we stack in a foot race the three of us? Oh I'm slow dude, I'm slow. None of us

are pretty sure. I'm not very quick. I'm okay at, like, distance running. I always have been, like, okay at it. Like, I'm definitely not bad at it, and I'm definitely not great at it. But, like, I never had an issue with the mile. Like, I was never, like, dying after the mile. Like, in this fantasy,

it's a sprint. We're doing a hundred yards or hundred meters. And there's a bear chasing us. That's the fantasy. We were walking along. Oh, there's a bear. Yeah, there's a bear after us. There's a big mama brown bear, and we, we rounded a corner in the woods. So it's in the woods? Yes. We have a trail though to run up. But there's no way we can run three wide up there. I got pockets full sand. I'm tripping like I'm, I'm 100% throwing bows.

I will not be honorable. In the back of my head, good luck with that. What do you go? Thanks. And me and Taylor go, if we're in a foot race, I, there was a time when I thought the trail was my in my favorite because I spent so much time in the woods as a kid like when I was a little one and I always did better running and trails and stuff than people who were better than me. It seemed like I didn't even get tired in the woods. It just distract me. But I ran full speed in my yard, which is barely uneven a few years ago and fell.

That's not good. I don't know that I have the one I used to at 11. Oh, yeah. It was a long time ago. Every once in a while you sprint and you're like, my God. I wasn't aware that this had happened to me. Yeah, no, the only thing I know for sure is that we couldn't film this event. I think Kyle's first.

He says he's not fast, but I think he's quicker than Taylor and I. I almost give it to Taylor with the age thing. Like, I bet my peak speed is competitive with you two, but my peak speed is not my current one. I think I might be the slowest. I might. I would not. If I had to bet, I would just bet that I would lose. I would not want to, like, put any money on that I could be either of you.

I am so low. Like, I remember, like, if I'm doing lots of cardio, I guess I'm pretty quick. But, like, I remember when I was, I was in bad shape. And I was, and that guy, uh, he jumped in my truck and, like, stole my shit. And we started chasing him through the park. And running as fast as I can to catch this guy because I think he might have my wallet or a gun. doesn't make sense to chase someone who's stolen your gun but still I am and like I'm full everything I've got 110% and so is he and we are going so slow no one knows we're it that it's a

serious thing we're doing like like in a movie when James Bond is chasing somebody or Tom Cruise he's running so aggressively and well that anyone who sees him doing is like oh that's not a jog that's an emergency. Everybody just sort of thought we were lazily jogging through the multiple part when they saw me chasing this bandito down. I remember thinking as I was like, this is all I have. In my head, I'm like, this is it. My arms don't pump any faster. My legs don't pump any faster. And I'm getting tired and winded. And the wind isn't even going through my ears. You know what I mean? Like, dude, that's, that's all better than me. I'm like, I was leaning forward an anticipation of more leg speed.

You're like, you're like Naruto running. Your hands are behind your back. It didn't work like in the cartoon. So slow. And then in paintball, I was always just like middling. Like we would

we would sprint up the sides a lot and rush people in 3V3 tournaments. And I was always the slowest of the three of my teammates. I don't know. I've always been slow. Yeah, I don't think you played any running sports where it would have been trained in. Like maybe baseball, but that's very short bursts. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what we're looking for here.

But I was, you know, I was slow in that too. I was slow. Like, I knew how to run because I did like sports where you had to run like football. But like I was not quick ever. like that never was were they calling on me to chase someone I remember when they'd make me play

in middle school like cornerback I was like this kid is so much faster than me what's the fucking point like if he gets one step around my side it's done while I have no confidence in beating either of you in a foot race I think I'd escape the bear better than either of you

would you climb actually that's a terrible idea for it risk I think it's something about my personality or like just the way way that I visualized the scenario of being chased by something. No, no, no, I've always been a good, no, I have been an amazing person. Yeah, this isn't Baldur's Gate.

You're not going to fuck your way out. I'm an amazing Sir Robin. Yes, it's just like Baldur's Gate when you run away. This is, this is, I'm going to use video games. Is my reasoning for this. Yes, I've always been the best. Where is this going? I'm good at running away.

I'm really good at it. We'll be playing, like, we'll be playing a video game where there's three or four of us in the aisle and the open. We'll get ambushed. Suddenly two of them are dead. the third one's dying and they're like oh god oh i'm dead too they get you Kyle and I'm like dude I started running the moment of the first grenade went off I jumped a car slid under a bush and I rolled down a grassy knoll now I'm in a river floating away somewhere I don't even know where

you guys are like so you're just banking on like seeing the bear first I'm just banking on the fact that I will immediately react with cowardice and speed and ferocity. Like I won't, I won't ease my way down an embankment or a hillside. I'm head first going down that bitch. If I need to roll down this hill to get away, because that's the fastest way, I'm rolling down the whole hill. I have a complete disregard for any falls or mishaps as I go down this embankment. I'm leaving you guys behind.

While you're looking for like firm footing to like sprint up a trail, I'm just down the embankment, just sunny bonoing it through the trees. I don't care. I'm getting out of there. You're going to risk it. Yeah. That's a reference our audience. He died in a skiing accident to a tree if people don't know. Oh, they know.

They know. Famous guy. Famous guy. Bigging the news these days. Yeah, huge news. And when... Him and his beautiful wife. Wasn't he a senator or something? Yeah. Yeah. For a while. What a joke country we are.

That's in 98. I'm a fucking representative. Yeah, I wonder if he was any good. I don't know what party he was from or if he was effective or what. Like Al Franken was a, the Democrats liked him. He was really effective in the like questioning people and stuff. And they like this voting record. So it's possible.

I don't know. I have this thing. I feel like most lawmakers should be lawyers. Or at least that should be the most common background. Right? Because you got to have lawyers to make laws, et cetera. But we need some engineers in there, some accountants, in there. We need some

military guys, I think too. The military guys, that's a great one. You know, I like having, like, it sounds like I'm talking about AOC, but like the bartender or like, you know, just sort of like man of the people type job. You know, you could have been a barista. A house of commons. Yeah.

You know, like, this is someone who's like lived a hard life, you know. Platner was a fan fisherman or something like that. Like, you know, that kind, I think his thing was a little bit of a story. But Anyway, if it were real, that would be a neat background that I would like. So, yeah, anyway, I like people coming from all walks of life in politics.

I just wish we cared that they were excelling at their particular field for realseys. Like, I would like some, like you said, I would like some good economists. I would like a couple of generals. I would like maybe a person of faith or two. I would like somebody, I would like everybody to be represented because that's the whole point of them anyway. way. Good generals. They got to have a couple real wins. What? They said good generals. They have to have some real wins.

His field of choice was pedophilia and he was amongst the best, Kyle. Share was 16. That's who he was banging. Oh, wait. Share? Share was 16 when they got married? When they met. How old was he? I'll check. By the way, I bet share was banging. when she was 16.

He was 27. Yeah, and she was 16. Well, an age of consent. So, you know. Depends on the state. It was the 70s. No, it was the 50s. Yeah, she's 82.

She's 80. Is she 80? Yeah, but it was 1962. She was a high school dropout when he met her. She took her in, gave her a place to live. What a gentleman. Was she not at all a singer? Like, wasn't not on the ups?

Singer, dancer. everything. No, no, no, I mean, but at that time, like, she hadn't broke, like, because sometimes, like, they have, like, teen bands and shit. I don't know if she was already kind of famous. Show me some hot photos of Cher from the 70s. Um, outfits. She was a little risque in the 60s and 70s. Oh, it's wild. She's got a, I think she's like half Native American or something like that. She's got a rock and body.

Yeah, and it lasted forever. I swear she looked good at, like, 65. Like, remember she did that music video? I think it's, if I could turn back time. Yes. And she's on the, she's on a destroyer or an aircraft carrier or something.

And she's got like a bunch of Navy guys there with her. You can do better than this. Show me some of the ones from the Sunny and Cher show where she's just on stage. She's beautiful though. She was 43 in that video. So that's old, but. She's wearing a G string in that video at 43.

She's not the only person hot at 43. Like I, some women still keep it that long, Look at the abs. Look at the 1960s abs, Woody. She's insanely good looking. Yeah, big fan of Cher. Oh, yeah.

Now you're doing it, Zach. This is older share. This is older share and still rocking. Look at her on the left. She's 40s there. I bet she was in her 40s there. Died. But no, she's kicking.

Good for her. Eadie's not that crazy old anyway. like 90s when it gets to the the point of like crazy old in my head but yeah I'd get away you got if there's a bear chase inside 100% get away you get away through wily efforts that it so far remained undescribed extreme I explained by extreme levels of cowardice in which I have total disregard for anything but getting away you're gonna bang your head on a rock as you fucking hurl yourself down there and then the bear's gonna peel your

skin off. That's the same man. But I'll be unconscious at least. That's what lions do that. But the thing is, I'm taking that chance where like either I'm getting down this hill triple speed or not at all. Like it's one or the other. And I've chosen triple speed.

Okay. But if I go as fast as I can but trying not to fall and you fall, the bear just be like, oh, that guy just bashed his nose into a million pieces on the side of that tree. he was trying to roll past. He's trying to go down this hill like fucking Sonic. And he's just going to walk over and be like, all right. I'm telling you, I'd get out of it. I'd be gone.

I have nightmares about this all the time where I'm being chased by things. Straight down the mound. No, total disregard. Do you always get away? I never get away. I never get away. Never get away. What's talking about?

The dream always ends with the falling so hard that I just lay there because I've accepted death with my eyes closed. Then you wake up. Worst things I can think of is participating in that cheese wheel race. Do you know the one where they rolled it with the cheese down the hill? Bro, I would not be competitive in that event, even if I had no regard for my own health. I don't know how they stay on their feet going to downhill like that.

They blow knees out. They knock teeth out. They break legs and arms. If I run full speed down a one or two. 2% grade. I fall forward. You don't have to worry about falling forward. It's programmed in. Yeah.

They just do so steep. You think a stuntman could do like a diving somersault and make up some time. And this... Some of them do. Like I'm watching, Taylor just linked it. I'm watching a... It's the cheese rolling compilation. Ten minutes of mayhem. The cheese wheel is moving by the end. Like, that'll

take your hat off itself. It's spinning and skipping and jumping. Dude, a guy caught it at the top. Oh, no, it's still going. He caught up to it, but he couldn't keep it. Nobody had his fucking chance at getting that cheese wheel. Does the cheese play any role in this race? You got to catch the cheese. I don't think so. There's a finish line. They just kind of run across. And every, no matter what, everyone puts their hands up. It's a fun activity seemingly. Like, Like the 11th place finishers, putting their hands up. Here's a funny little anecdote about the cheese chase. The exact origin of the annual Cooper's Hill cheese rolling and dweig in Gloucester, England, is unknown.

But the earliest official written record dates back to 1836. No one knows why they do that. That's terrific. They have women doing it. Oh, yeah. I saw a woman win. in. She was like bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose, like smiling, holding her cheese. Oh, this seems like they had a woman's event because this, the second race is all ladies.

And they're zooting down that hill. Oh, they're all sliding on their bums. This is a very different race. They're skiing with, or they're sledding without sleds. Yeah, they don't want the cheese as much. Oh, my God. These women are not banging tonight. They're, they're worn out. They're dizzy as hell. They're tender. These are tender women.

They've slidding down on their bottoms. The old way. Some of these refs whose job is to like catch these people or the safety officers. I don't know. You see the people all dressed up and like what looks like hockey uniforms just being like, come in here. And like they're getting body checked by these people just running so fast downhill that they're leaning over. Oh. Hey, bottom.

Oh, this guy has a real hard time. of it, so you can see like where the upside down guy we're talking about at like four minutes and 51 Oh, if you look at the show there's a picture, there's a still that everyone's looking at I yeah, that's a different one entirely. The, although you get very much

upside down. Looks like he's having a hard time. Everyone's got their safety equipment on though. Their safety sweats. Look at a fancy. Adidas. I got it's in a panda suit. That's not a a bad idea. A big mascot suit like

that might cushion the fall some. It looks like, I ran a 5K once like a competitor. It's like a friendly 5K or whatever. But I was doing my best. And at one point, I got passed by like four men in suits and ties and I was like, this

is embarrassing. I'm like, oh, ready to go. And then I got passed by a guy at a gorilla suit and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? They're all having a blast for a fucking 5K, which is like, what two and a half miles or something well there's a break you ran out you ate a dozen crispy cream donuts and then you ran back the other way the christmas i think sure like it's it's just a

5k but you're you're in like runner shorts and you're crossing the finish line with like having shit down your leg like that marathon runner it was down the crispy cream and then you eat supposedly a dozen donuts i had two i was like i can't really do this and it and it offsets the point of running and then you run back. Well, it was all downhill to the Krispy Kreme. It's all uphill back to the start finish line and everybody is

vomiting on the run back. So you're like looking at the ground, dodging the puddles of vomit, getting passed by men and gorilla suits and ties. It's a day. What a terrible event. That's a one and done experience. I only did it once. I did that twice. You know what I'd like to do? I've been thinking

about it. I'd like to do one of the Civil War reenactments. I want to take part. I want Oh, yeah. Yeah. What would you like to be? Either side. Either side. I'm not picky, you know.

How about a role? Would you like to wear a cannon? Would you like to work a musket? I want. I think I'd want to be a canon guy. I don't know if you're ready for leadership yet. You're new. I mean, I would like to get a horse.

Like, I could be one of the horse guys sitting in the back. Like looking solemn. You know, if you show up with you on horse. Then they can't stop you. Taylor says, you can't just walk in there and be a horse guy. I'm like, kind might have access. to a horse. I believe that if Kyle made a few phone calls, he could find a horse. Yeah,

I know, I could get a horse. He's got a guy. I could sit a horse. I even got a Confederate costume guy. He's got one too. Nice. Yeah. You'd have to bring both outfits so that you could get there a little early and usurp

whatever general hadn't shown up yet and then you're the guy. That's hilarious. Yeah. Like who I just show up first. I'm Stonewall Jackson. And then like the real stonewall as getting his makeup professionally done in the back somewhere. Just a chest full of metal and ribbons for every war, civil, and later.

I know we lost this battle in the true war of northern aggression, but I'm going to let you boys a little secret. Them's real bullets. Let's show them Yankees' warfare. We've got to stop hosting this event so close to that mental institution with that security. This guy's just in it for the love of the game. I don't care about sides. Do they even do Revolutionary War reenactments?

Or do we just do Civil? Oh, Revolutionary War? Yeah, they do. Yeah, I feel like Civil has that market cornered for some reason when Revolutionary is more like, well, that would actually be tough because everybody's for sure going to want to be on the American side unless we import Brits in.

Or unless maybe that side pays more. or you just look good in red. Like that those would be the only, the only excuse. Any other reasons? No, that's all you think of. I don't know. You'd have a lot of opportunity to maybe play the bad guy if it were a play or something. But in a reenactment, I guess, I feel like it's more fun if we do a reenactment that's paintball based, but where we actually get to shoot each other a little bit.

But really, I just want to wear the uniform, you know. I like that, like that gray confederate uniform. It looks nice. I always thought the blue ones looked way better. The gray ones look like, really? Zach, can we see them side by side? A gray Confederate uniform next to a blue good guys uniform. Yeah, we're looking for like, do generals uniforms like clean.

Like what I don't want to see is some like split soldier who's wearing a rotted uniform and use that as a basis for comparison. Okay. You just want boilerplate gray versus boilerplate blue. just standard same ranker same rank or like you know what I mean make it a fair fight yeah yeah I don't know

Civil War I can't picture in my head exactly what their uniforms look like did they did the the Union had slightly taller caps is that correct oh no never mind same same size cap

how about not a cartoon yeah how about no cartoons based on the cartoon it's kind of a tie but I prefer blue Zaz says he's looking that's for the audience Kyle and Taylor can see that. I prefer blue in the cartoon as well.

Yeah, we hadn't really mastered good uniforms yet. Although my dude looks like way more of a man. Well, yeah, but we're talking about the uniform. I agree that the beard suits the guy on the left better. I feel like the guy on the left wins a wrestling match. We were all more rosy-cheeked in this time. Yeah, let's see. The alcohol kept us going.

Some real. Look at America. Look at America. cheek we used to be. You know what's taking that away? It's oxygenic in the water. That's why every day. The rifles are different. I don't know why I assume they had the same weapons. Yeah, yeah.

Enfield versus Springfield. I bet both were not great. They were, so you're on the verge of like a weapons revolution that's happening in the Civil War. A lot of people consider the Civil War the first modern war because you had rifles. Okay, I'm being

sabotaged. You had Explo. You had exploding shells. This guy looks so bummed out. I mean, what are we doing? We got fucking taped up Confederate versus. Oh my God, it's a girl versus a fat. So this isn't fair. I like her more too.

I like her more too. But actually, if I look at just the uniform. Is that they really have that snazzy safety yellow? Yeah, the gold looks nice with the gray. It looks like a current like marching band uniform. It's like high. high vis almost. Super Jones.

It could be. It's not. And now I want to see a good blue one. I don't know what he has queued up. We hadn't come into our own with uniforms yet. We hadn't figured out the gray ones. I think he was pretty good. I mean, it's closer than I thought.

I need to see the blue one again. I'm trying to be unbiased. Was there a reason for gray? Like it's less visible in the woods or some shit? Oh, this is the best we've seen. but he's the highest rank. Yeah. He's got a saber.

I like his gloves and his buttons and his sash. You mean his glove? Well, he's holding the second one in his hands. Why is he even carrying the second glove around? Like what? He has another hand. He's just not using it right now. How humiliating is it for a one-handed man to carry the second glove everywhere he goes?

Oh, he's got to put two hands. Are you sure he has two hand in one hand? Who is this guy? I mean, he's just hidden in a shirt. shirt. This is like an issue of object permanence. You know what? I'm seeing it now

that he clearly has his hands tucked into his shirt like that old time. Here, Kyle, these are for you. I remember Napoleon is often pictured doing the similar thing. But when I glanced at it, I saw one-handed, and it makes sense for there to be one-handed men, amputees, if he's

a veteran or better for. Yeah. Who's this guy? Good old Mr. 15 20 visions. It's crossed 40. Is this one of the famous ones in the union? I'm assuming union because of the blue? I don't know who that is.

I feel like I was supposed to, but I don't. We would know this guy, if this guy were famous, they got so distinctive looking with that clown hair and everything, and the one hand. What was the Mexican-American War uniform? How are we looking at? Oh, the Rough Riders?

Do that. Zach, show us. Teddy Roosevelt and his rough riders uniforms. Zach's like, Mother Trucker, you told me to put a game together. You guys rode through volcanic fields of ash

to fight the enemy on their own home territory, all right? This is what a real president looks like. Let's see. What a beast. I do like that.

Those are like the flared gloves. I like that they look like workman's gloves. I like the almost half-caboy hat. You know what I like? One thing I like about military.

uniforms is they're often built with good materials. Like you, even the dress blues, I feel like you could crawl in the gravel or something. You don't want to see. I'll see Robin Williams in night at the museum dressed

as Teddy Roosevelt. Robert Williams is a hero and I don't like you disparaging his name. That's true. Teddy Roosevelt is a hero. Do you remember like 12 years ago, Kyle, when you were just going off on Robin Williams? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucked up of you. I don't think it's good that he killed himself and shouldn't be worship for it.

I think of the way you besmirched that man's good name on a daily basis. I was thinking like two days ago when a Robin Williams clip came on TV. What he was, what he was tearing that man down. What he was tearing that man down. I was. I was even standing. I was right though. I was right though.

And this is why when he killed himself, suicide skyrocketed in America. lots of people followed his lead and my entire objective Google it fact check me I believe it yeah listeners Google it fact check me and my entire thing was to sort of make him not something

other people would I don't know idolize and kill themselves too what if what if they need to like he did though yeah actually I think after I did that more details came out over like

the struggle He had like medical struggles that that were terminal maybe. Trunkett pain. Yeah. The quality of life. He was in a really bad spot. But I don't think I knew that when I said it. I just wanted people not to also kill themselves because they were making a hero out of Robin Williams.

Everybody was praising him and putting him on this pedestal and just like if anyone out there was thinking I should do this. So I get that. I was trying to counter that. A 10% spike in U.S. suicide. for the next four or five months. It looks like Contagion linked to heavy media reporting. That's exactly what,

you know, it would have been 11% if it wasn't for me. You saved lives. You saved lives. You're the real Patch Adams. Looks like it's been going up for the last,

or in 2001 to 2020. Suicide? Yeah, it's been going up, but not like rapidly. Like from like 11, per 100,000 to like 13 per 100,000, which I guess that is. And the data ends in 21. That was the fastest I could find on CDC.gov.

I just, post-21 is interesting to me, because that's post-COVID and post-containment. And like, I wonder if that had any effect on people doing it more or less. I don't know. You know, it's been, it jumped up after 2005. And then it's been like around 12, 13, 14, 14. since 2010. So hasn't exploded or anything. Anyway, I was trying to find good pictures of all the uniforms.

And from what I saw, I think we lost a step after the Revolutionary War because they did look a little nicer than the Civil War stuff. And then we started going back up again. You don't know? I disagree. I think it's been on the way up the whole time. I think those current Marine Corps dress blues are our best uniform. Although the Navy has those like dress whites, like those look really snazzy too.

Like can you imagine him to wear that shit and worry about like the smallest imperfection or thread or stain is going to get you screamed at? A whole white suit. Fuck you. That'd be so annoying. They had bigger hats in the Revolutionary War. and so maybe I'm just paying too much attention to the hat. The Rough Rider one was my favorite so far, but we didn't get it to any of the new wars.

And then we kind of just found our place, and now they just kind of slightly changed the camo, and it's been optimized. Depending on which region of the world we're invading. I just, excuse me, I looked at all the dress uniforms. The Navy is great, but we all knew it. What surprised me, is my number one is the coast is the coast guard here i'll give you the lake coast guardians look

like i haven't seen their fancy uniforms that's what that's how i would phrase the commercial do you want to be a guardian of the coasts of okay while we look at this i have the hiccups i've been struggling with the hiccups i had the hiccups months ago for like three days it was a real problem and i bought this straw that apparently changes your life that it is like the ultimate hiccup cure. It only came in the gayest color possible. But, um, ultimate hiccup cure.

And then I never got hiccups again. Yeah, it's called Hiccaway. This is not a show sponsor. I've never tried. There's instructions on the back. Apparently I'm supposed to put it shallow, sip forcefully, swallow immediately,

and repeat two or three times without pausing. Okay, so we'll put this thing shallow. It said not to let it fill with it. Oh, it does. It does come. blue. It was all like get I so where it's true.

It was $2 extra to get pussy pink, wasn't it? Dude, this is not a... This is terrible. All right. I'm trying. Suck harder. I don't think it's an idea.

I am. The hole is... Your eyes aren't even watering. The hole is this small that I'm pulling it through? what she said. So you're really yanking. I haven't a pickup since.

How many times you have to do it? You said three? It said two or three. Check this out. This is the future right here. This is the Space Force Dress uniform. They look like that one's pretty good. I think it's second to the Coast Guard, but it's good. I hate it so much, dude.

The Coast Guard one. This one. This one. This looks awful. I don't think this is the Coast Guard. one. This is space force. That's Coast Guard. This one looks nice. This is Army, I think. Oh, I like that. That's Navy. That was Coast Guard. That looks pretty nice as well.

Coast Guard was at the bottom of that one. Ah, okay. Like drawings. It was below Space Force. So this is this Air Force? It might be Air Force. It might be Air Force. It might be Air Force. It looks pretty nice as well.

This is Space Force. You can tell by the athletes. Oh, my God. And this is Coast Guard. Hmm? I don't like it I like the white better The blue is not These are not doing it for me

These all look pretty good I don't like that color of blue It's a little loud Well they're not wearing it to battle They're just wearing it to like events Yeah Waring it to fucking Chipotle to get extra meat I look a little

Extra meat Meat Fuck you Get moving $4 extra Yeah no problem Coast Guard No you'd have to

What are you? One weekend warriors They give you guys those dress uniforms too Dude I Okay okay okay I'm not saying the Coast Guard is like the bravest one I think the bravest one is the one like on land that runs into fire Right that's the hardest thing to do

Maybe Maybe I wouldn't argue against that anyway But if terms of lifestyle Like the Coast Guard sleeps in their own bed most of the time. Like I think the cliche is the Navy is big and gray and far away and then Coast Guard

is small and white and home at night. Where's your wife? Like that's where that goes. And I'm like, shit, if you're going to make a life out of one of these things, Coast Guard is pretty dope. You fly planes, helicopters, you pilot boats. And you're home at night.

Almost all your missions involve like day trips. Like this is just like the funnest job ever. Most fine. I bet there's some cool stuff to do too. I bet they do some like drug interdiction. I bet there's some like special forces, coast guards guys. Rescue swimmer.

I was meant to. I bet there's a version of the Navy SEALs in the Coast Guard. If I were to start my life over, I'd gear towards being a Coast Guard rescue swimmer. I would love that job. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool for you. You could even better, you'd get more chances being like an Air Force rescue swimmer because those guys are going to be worse at swimming. they're going to fall

I don't know if it's funny they can pull it off the boat a little more yeah you're going to start guys with like fish in the water dude they're not going to be dealt I just can't stop looking at this take away sight this is hilarious like it's just

it is horrible to have the hiccups and for three days because I'm sure you had moments for like you woke up yeah yeah it hasn't happened yet and then it happened I have this personality flaw in me

and that I don't like observe something in its reaction and draw a conclusion. Instead, I need to like repeat the experiment two or three times. So I'm eating like this spicy soup that's clearly causing hiccups for three days in a row being like, it could be anything. Now you seem like you were really delivering this unto yourself. Well, I had to be sure. I had to be sure.

I'm a bit of a scientist. I'm a bit of a scientist. I was blowing my mind. I've never seen such a thing. He's like, bloodshot eyes can't sleep in the middle of the night. You're like,

correlation does not imply causation, sweetheart. Exactly. That's what I knew. I bought you, I probably bought you the pink one of this straw. It was all they had in stock. I was trying to get it to come super fast.

It came like the next day and that's when I got better. Well, if it works, I haven't hicc up since. Dr. Ali Seifie. Dude, Dr.

Ali is a leader in the hiccup field. He must be. Oh, he's got a video of him talking about this on Shark Tank. I mean, is there a higher source than reality TV? That depends. We'll have to see who bought in. I honestly think this thing works.

I swear this isn't an ad. I'm just excited. I've been waiting months for hiccups. I want to go to get, but there's no reason. I just want a sip of water. Go get a little spicy soup. Yeah, Jackie. Make the spicy as soon.

You can't rapidly for me. We'll test this out. It's the most annoying little minor thing. And you feel like it's annoying to even get frustrated at it because it's so minor. But it just it disrupts your entire life every 30 seconds. It would be like living with your smoke detector going off every 30 seconds. It's like, no, this needs to be fixed right away. It's really lowering my quality of life.

All true, but I have a podcast, right? there's like a million people pissed off at me hiccuping into the mic and that's just triggering anxiety. Yeah. Like that fucking asshole doesn't like Trump and hiccups. I can't take this anymore. He's now they're going to be like, he had that hicc away the whole time. He could have hicked away at any minute. I've been playing a bunch of fallout in my living room on my console by my girlfriend.

for a while. Yeah, I mean, it takes like 135 hours to beat Fallout 4. And she's watching me and I'm kind of doing like a live let's play. But that always, that gets boring after like three or four hours sessions. So I was looking for a game we could play together. Like on the same screen, like just a two controller game. And I settled on, like there's lots of shooters that do that. But I was like a fighting game.

It's the easiest solution to this. Like Mortal Kombat or UFC, something like that. We're both on screen. There's no like top and bottom split screen bullshit shenanigans. going on. Right, right, right. This is as fair as it gets. And so I got UFC 6, which is the newest UFC game. And I don't think I've won a game yet. What? That's not how I expected it to go. I think she's beating me every single game. And sometimes it's embarrassing. And it'll be, she has no concept of who good fighters are, like, like, or weight classes. The first thing I did

because I figured, like, I can do whatever I want against her. I'm going to pick, I picked Patty the Batty. he's a lightweight 155 pound fighter she picked dricus du flesi i'm like ooh she doesn't know anything about this is all of my knowledge is going to help me in this video game she beat me to death she beat me to death and then she wants six games in a row you want me to drive down there and beat up your girlfriend for you by the end by the end i'm like at first i i picked chuck ladle i i played chuck ladle against like her like stepe or something like that. He smokes me. Something like that. And by the end, though, I'm like,

all right, we're going to play Alex Pereira or we're going to play Kabib. I'm either going to... Yeah, right, right. We bring up the big dogs. She beat my Kabib with a Dustin Porier. That's not how that fight went. There's so much better than me at the game that I quit playing. Is it one of those games where...

Where you're like, all right, I need to capitalize and use my wrestling. That means I need to hit A, B, X, Y, hold right, trigger. and she's like, jab, old trusty jab, jab, jab. We're both mostly mashing buttons. I know how to like do the takedowns and how to ground and pound and stuff, but she just beats my face off so many times. She'll catch me in these combos somehow.

She's mashing buttons, but my guy is always the one knocked out. We're both mashing buttons. She won six in a row when I quit. Well, come on, you're due. like it's pretty good it's a pretty good video game i'm sure that if i like learned how to play it would be really deep and fun to play um you can do like a kumate where you're not like in the octagon in the staples center you're in like a mortal combat dungeon fighting as like dust and porre or whatever uh it and it looks really good like the i know i have a game for you guys

i think you too would enjoy splosion man are you from familiar with it? Yeah. Look it up. Oh, shucks. I thought maybe you didn't know about it. You both play as these fiery little people that have the ability to explode and that exploding, if I recall correctly, can like break walls or maybe make you jump a little bit. Like there's different little talents. But you work together, almost like the portal two co-op where like you need to do one thing while she exes. Oh, well, it's been a long time. Anyway, I always thought that was like one of the best couples games I've seen. I think

I think we did it during PK plays maybe I think it may have been one of the games that Chis picked out and then whooped us in Dude I think he did that

I think he'd be like Hey you know Let's try a little game None of us have done before Rainbow 6 Meanwhile I'm like 300 hours in it this month He smoked us in every game

We ever played And part of the problem was That was my first gaming piece and those were my first games on a PC. I was so lost on mouse and keyboard, just like, what left Alt? Okay, that's that one. And I'm like, I'm looking at the keyboard playing these games.

He was smoking us. He was smokest and everything. He's also a good gamer, Chis. Yeah. Yeah. He's retired now. He's retired. Can't get him play anything.

Never games. That's true. On a 10-year game streak, seemingly. Try to get him to play some Baldur's games. with me. I'm almost due for a new playthrough of that. That's a good 100 hours if you want to hop on board that.

Me and Scum and another guy did a full three-man playthrough about eight months ago. It took like two months or something like that, playing you know, like these sessions during the week. This would be like,

what, like your sixth playthrough in the last two years, three years maybe? I think I've beaten it all the way through three times, maybe four. And I've done a lot of like the first act, there's three acts and so the first act is the most fun to me. So I've played the first act like

seven or eight, nine times something like that. I played it a bunch. Then you just get bored? I mean, it's not that you get bored, you just, you've done it. You know, once you play through the storyline, you're kind of done with the storyline for a little while.

It's got endless replayability though, because every time you play as a different character, you can shape the story differently and you get reaction. acted too differently and you get very unique interactions based on who you're playing as and what you're doing. Great game. I'm grinding Rainbow Six trying to actually be good. But that game's been out forever and there's always somebody better.

Yesterday I was the super me. I played 12 games. I had 11 wins. And today the game is like, did you think you were getting good? Let me introduce you to your next stage of a competitor. Today I played three games. I got one win.

I'm, there's just always somebody better at you than this game. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not a new game. These guys have been grinding this forever. It's 11 years old. Yeah, yeah. It's such a good game. I like that it's fair.

It's, how many games do I play where, like, controller people get aim assist in some super strong way, or, like, there's a bunch of ways for a game to be unfair, for lag to be an issue. And Rainbow, I mean, I get outsmarted. every day, but I rarely feel like, you know, I just, like some game mechanic was bullshit. Like, oh, no, that's a line of a side I have to look out for next time.

Yeah. It's neither of you guys have been on Tarkov in what feels like a year, maybe two years. Because you guys have phases where you're just obsessed with that. Yeah, we touched it for a few hours, like four months ago, something like that. But it didn't stick. I kind of bounced off it. went to something else. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things that you're either all the way in or you're all the way out.

I feel like it's really hard to just play a little Tarkov. And, you know, there's so much to do. And it's an endless chore list of things to do and gameplay. I've tried to stay away from it and Rust on purpose because they're unhealthy for like my life. You know, I'll, if I start playing though, like right now I'm playing Fallout 4 and I'll play like, I don't know, three or four hours a day or something like that. But then I turn it off and I'm done. You know, I'm not, I don't wake up at three in the morning and think,

I can go check the stash. I can go pull a Bitcoin out of the stash. And maybe I play one game. That's three in the morning. I could do some tasks. Nobody's on. And then it's, I hear the birds chirping outside. And it's 9.30 a.m. or something like that.

I'm like, oh, God, no. I can't go to bed at noon. I guess I have to, though. Like, that's the kind of shit Tarkov will do to you. It's just such an endless loop of dopamine, like doing those raids successfully and getting the happy to chunk sound when you turn items

in and progress and rank up is just, it's a really rewarding system. It's this weird thing. So Tarkoff has this concept of a hideout, which is basically a mobile game tacked on to Tarkoff for some fucking reason. And in this mobile game, you like

attend to different things that you're crafting. So my dumb ass would be like, huh, the bullets will finish at 2.30 am, I should stay up, put something else in there, and then while I'm sleeping, it'll do whatever. And it was just that I never, I have thousands and thousands of hours in that game. Why? Because I play 24 a day.

It was just on the whole time with this freaking stupid little mobile game they call the hideout, just earning me money or materials, like getting ready for the next raid, and then the rest of the game, of course, actually playing it. We run around in the grass, looking in gym bags and stuff, and then you walk to an area and you get out. That's Tarkoff. Do you guys ever play, wow? I never got into wow, but that seems like a similar thing. As far as the grind. I know, it's like wizards and warlocks.

It's not so AFK as far as I know. But yeah, people grind that. Old school runescape, they're the one that taught me the expression, 92 is half of 99. So you know in XP grinding how like the heck if you're good sometimes you game five levels your first game Like when the new cod comes out every year we're like level five after one game But meanwhile getting from 54 to 55 is a day's work yeah in old school ruinscape I think this is mathematically true 92 takes half as much XP as 99 you're only halfway there Those last levels scale up so insanely and that game has a hold on people I like that

I like that. I like what, because I'm going to get the numbers wrong, but Battlefield, it seems like you just keep going. You can be like ranked 275 or something like that. And they're pretty easy to go to. You see somebody that's ranked 275.

You're like, okay, he plays, I guess. I like that 92 is half of 99. I like that. Hmm. I, in Rainbow, they just get harder up through 100,

and then it never stops, but 100 to 1001 is the same as 1,000 to 1,000. which is kind of neat because it shows a it's a it's just like a clock on your overall gaming time

forever across seasons it never stops there's like medals or something or like levels or something right the real measure of a player is not the rank I'm talking about it's the thing that you're talking about

in ranked mode and yeah it's like copper bronze silver gold platinum silver gold gold diamond I'm in silver diamond

I'm in silver. Okay. I'm silver two, I think, which is one of the higher silvers. But I can't get like a group together. Silver one higher than silver three? Yes. Silver one is the highest. Above that would be gold five.

So, okay. It's really, I don't do it solo very much. I did it once recently. I won. I was like, like I walked away from the poker table after one win. Because playing solo is like,

you can only have. So much influence on it. And I'm not like that good that like any team with me on it will win. No. Like I'd have a little good play and a little luck. So, but Dirty's been playing with me. He can't play rank mode yet. He needs more time in game.

It won't let him. But Dirty and I share the same mindset. I'm such a heck and try hard. I try hard every game. They have arcade games that don't matter. I'm doing callouts assisting my team. You know, like, like there's a domination mode in there that no one gives a damn about. I have teammates going like, Woody, you can just stop talking.

There's a challenge for playing five games, not winning five, so we don't care. No, what? I always care. I only try 110%. There's no game where I'm ever, like in the beginning of a round, you send this little remote control car in to scout out the way that the defense is setting up. and then you have an opportunity to change your character based on what you've learned and if your car stays alive,

you can use it as a camera during the game and like sprout out certain hallways and stuff. And I'm like, if the bomb's already found, I'm positioning my car in some way that will help us later in the round. And then I go through everyone else's cars in like unrank mode.

They're still in spawn. These guys are fucking scrolling TikTok while I'm like set up camera positions. No one cares as much as me, but Dirty does. If Dirty does not enjoy, losing at video games. That's not his idea of fun. And we're wired the same way in that regard. Mechanically, he's better than me because he has like 15 hours in CSGO. I think right now I'm

better than him at Rainbow, but that'll switch as he gets the knowledge that I have. And, but but if your mechanics are bad and you're doing your best, I'm good. We can do that. If you don't care, I hate that so much. I hate that. 30 cares. At least. Every game, he always cares. He's always, like, yelling and screaming and, like, go, oh, that's it. That's fucking crap. You clutched. Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck you. They're dog shit. Fuck you, you dog shit. You suck cocks. I'm like, they can't hear us. You some cox. They really can't hear what you're saying.

Fuck you all, cocksucker. Dirty, you guys are only up by one word. Like, he's going to be. Family Monopoly. And you started. Yeah. You've been screaming ever since you got the thimble. I'm always nice.

Like I'm a gentleman. I say GGs and stuff. My reputation, there's like positive and negative point. I have like 300 commendations for good gamesmanship. And three for accidentally shooting a teammate or something like that. And even the reason it's not five is my teammate voted that it was an accident. It was clearly an accident. And I apologize.

So like I'm really nice in games and even to the other team. But I'm definitely trying hard. and I don't like it when my team doesn't. Yeah. I remember like when I would hop on live in 1V1 AEO a couple years ago when I was doing that, like just really trying to like hone build orders have zero downtime, this and that. Like sometimes I'd like have a plan of like I'm going to just play like 10 games one on one tonight. I'm feeling quick.

Like I'm feeling like I just did a couple practice like beginnings first AI just to make sure I don't miss any any clicks, any button presses. and then like I'd make one mistake where like I thought I was fully walled and then and so I see their scout rush coming. I'm like, aha, you've invested too much in your scouts and you won't be able to get it. Oh, there was a hole. Fuck. And I'm like getting up and like I'm trying to fight back that that's like an insurmountable thing if they get into your base that early and you don't have anything to deal with it because you've been trying to greed out resources. I've got no spearmen, no nothing to deal with it. And, like, afterward, I'd be sitting there, like, about to hit, like, play again.

It's like, you know what? I'm just not in a winning mood right now. I think I'm going to, I think I'll wait till tomorrow. I think I'll wait till tomorrow. I'll pace around a little bit and be like, you're fucking idiot. Why did you do this, this game, this 20-year-old game that you're just obsessed with? Like, why are you letting it get this much in your head? And I'd even sometimes start and be like, you know what, however, however this game goes and ranked, it goes.

It's just a video game. And by the end, I'm, like, furious, like, so mad at it. And I was, I would always be embarrassed at myself because no game had ever got me like that before. Or like, if I lost in Cod, I was like, who cares? I got Blue Tiger. That's all I was looking for this game. Like, but this game just, it's excited that in me. We have another friend Randall, who's from the PKK hangout.

And Dirty's like, you mind if I bring Randall in? I'm like, nah, it's cool. Let's do this. I'd rather have a three stack than a two stack. And if you could picture this, it's like, was the game mode called Sab. No, not Sabitage. Search and Destroy from Call of Duty. So picture a maze that is like an indoor building, but it's a maze with bombs in the middle.

And you kind of go to the outside windows, try to delay them, hold them off. Kill them if you can, but don't die. And then if things get tight, retreat back a step. Hold them off, delay them. The clock is your teammate. And then eventually you're on like the bomb site fighting. Randall doesn't get that. He just likes to roam on the edges of the map and get free kills from people looking in the other direction.

Dirty whipped the heck out on this guy. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? What he's on bombsite? Taking fire from three different directions and you're at the windows. You're at the windows. What are you doing? What are you doing? How stupid can you be?

And I'm like, I'm the one suffering. I'm not even that mad but he's going bananas on Randall for not employing the right strategy what was kind of a selfish strategy he plays this character who could walk silently and all he wants to do is shoot people from behind that's like his crazy

but you're not providing your team if you're guarding a window no one's walking through right and it's a three minute round so if a minute goes by and they're not at that window yet turtle back to the bomb site you know that they didn't come that way and Dirty just flipping out on him.

He refuses to play with him now. We're like winning game after game. Randall joins and he is cursed. We can't win with that guy on our team. And sometimes he gives us confusing callouts like, Woody, he's on your left and then I die. And I'm like, my left do you say? He goes, I meant right.

That's, that's, if you had said nothing that would have been so much more helpful, then the disinformation strategy you provided the other team and then like the next night rolls around and Dirty's he didn't want to play with him like round one Randall kills me He killed me

Shut out Randall Shut out Uncle Randall Don't let anyone dictate to you your play style It's right Uncle Randall It'll impact your win-loss ratio if you play with him It was impacted a lot.

Move yourself from my friend's list. I remember being annoyed. He's coming around. He's coming around. Like callouts and call of duty. And like in brand new, like when a new cod would come out when we were all playing, like the common names for callouts hadn't been established yet. And so I'd get aggravated where someone would be like,

Taylor's heading to you. He's on the bridge near the gas station at the back. And I'm like the bridge. well he's not there anymore. He's near the tanker running up the right by the other man, all these houses are just covered in like weeds and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, it's called overgrown. Everything's going to be green. And so by the time he got a call out to you, it was you know, five seconds too late and he was shooting you in the back. Oh, that was fun. Yeah. It was a good map. Or I liked overgrown. Some people hated overgrown.

That's fine. Yeah, it wasn't too bad. It wasn't quite a like, is it the OG tier of great. That game had a lot of great maps. I liked those maps and I liked that some of the maps were one-sided. I didn't think that that was a problem for those maps. Like when we would get on the bad side of Bog,

we would have a... Oh shit, we got bad side. All right. We're all going up the right side on break. Do not go into that trash heap. Do not get in the bus. Don't try to sneak up the left side of the map. Everybody sprint through the building on the right side. We're going to sweep their entire

right flank and we're going to capture their home flag. Do not capture our home flag. We flip spawn in 45 seconds and now they're the shit. You just charge. Yeah. And of course as soon as it flips, they cap that flag and now it's locked in. It happens so fast every time. I think the most lopsided map in that game was downpour where it was like guys, we need a sense of urgency to get uphill. Like we're so far downhill. We have no shot. They're in the back sniping like crouched in a Bush with an M40 or something. It's like, what are you doing? Oh, that guy spent the entire time just holding down the right trigger on the machine gun.

That's me, though. I kind of like doing that because I really liked the idea that the other team would just be like, what the fuck? He's been shooting through Grandma's house for eight minutes. I would just keep a steady beam of heavy machine because they do like 100 damage or something like that. They're almost a one hit kill and just just beam that thing with infinite. ammo through a window or like a choke point and just be like I'll hold this choke point till I die and maybe I'll respawn hold it some more I don't know I loved those guys because it was like oh I needed an easy way to get a Draganov headshot like just peek over and yeah that was like that map

was super one-sided you were literally fighting uphill or downhill and the uphill guys had rooftops to get on and stuff and windows to shoot out of you talking about overground uh down poor where like you either started at the super far down area, or it was raining, where you also had to, like, in order to enter the B flag, you had to, like, run around into the wide open gunfire, or you had to, like, crawl through a little hole that was in the brick wall. And it was like, that was a free kill every time. And I would often, I was both guys in that for domination, where I'm like, someone's going to crawl through the hole.

And then if I started on the bottom bad side, I'd be like, this has got to work someday. I'm going to copy the hole. I would always prop through the hole. I saw over, or I saw downpour and I'm like, frag times three. Every time I respawn, I put another mini air strike on silos.

It's always a free kill. Yeah, that was three frags is basically an air strike. Sometimes you get a little, you get so aggravated, you're like, I'm going to, maybe martyrdom is the play here.

Martyrdom, like a AK7 for you. And that way if I do horrible, it's like, well, I wasn't even using the good guns. Who cares? I don't even have deep impact on. Everybody pronounced that Marty Dom. And I couldn't tell if that was a widespread joke or a very stupid gaming community. I thought it was a joke because there was a meme of like a kid mad on the voice chat where he ran into,

there was like a little YouTube clip. And the kid was like, oh, he had Marty Dome. And it's like, because he got blown up. I hated when they would pronounce it that way. I'm like, it's martyrdom. There's an R in there. It's a word. Marker.

Marjor. I don't know. But Mono Warfare 2 gave us painkiller, the namesake of the show. Yeah. That was overhated. Like, it was, it was an overhated perk. It wasn't that good. It was a real problem.

It was a death perk. Yeah. I didn't like the whole concept of rewarding players who died. I prefer skill-based matchmaking. There was a time when I really liked beating up on lesser players and thinking I was good. Now my greatest joy comes from those like five, four overtime rainbow victories. Like it could have gone either way. It was hard.

Everyone in this lobby is my equal. But, you know, I was better than the normal meeting we won. That's cool. I liked rolling. I liked just, you know, going 72 and three and being like, man, I can't remember the last, I don't remember what gun I have equipped. I've got so many chopper gunners just on deck to you. And if I remember painkiller, it was timed, right? Like it was, it was, it was like 10, 15 seconds.

Oh, how long it lasted? Yeah, yeah. It was just sort of off your spawn. I guess it was an anti-spawn trap sort of mechanism, mechanic, I should say. But the spons weren't good enough for that. So it would, in reality, it would just be like, holy shit, that guy is three times help. Was it two times or three times? It was a lot, I thought it was less than that, but I'm not sure enough to say your own.

I didn't. It was probably more than Juggernaut. Oh, way more than, Juggernaut was like 1.4. And, oh yeah, yes, an officially painkiller death streak and Munnwarfer 2 did not just, it divided all incoming damage by three, which is true, which is basically. triple help. It reduces damage to 33% of normal for 10 seconds. Oh, this thing says it doubled the health pool.

And it was 10 seconds. You're getting triple? Well, it lowered the damage, the incoming damage to one-third. In essence, tripling your health. My source is just Gemini, so it's not great. Do you have a better one?

Is this Gemini versus chat GPT right now? Google is a search engine. though, like, unless you're reading the Gemini, like, AI also. The AI at the top of Google when I go. Yeah, that's Gemini. I didn't like Juggernaut that much. I don't think the only time I ever used Juggernaut was running around the AK on occasion. And even then, it was like, you know, I think I'd rather just have my AK be like a two-bullet to the midsection kill with stopping power than have Juggernawing.

The problem was naming it Juggernaut. They should have named stopping power, armor-piercing ammo, and they should have named Juggernaut ballistic vest, and nobody would have had a problem with any of the perks, and they'd have kind of gone back and forth, but naming one of them Juggernaut, and the other one's stopping power. Yeah. There's a Wikipedia that says, you're right.

It divided it by three. Okay. Nobody really did so much about Cod4 perks that I recall. other than people would bitch about three times frag, but I was like, you know what, this brings me a lot more joy than I feel like I don't, I'll die to grenade sometimes if I get to like just on showdown, just hook it right where you know they're going to be.

Because again, you're like, everyone's like, this is going to be the time I make it through that stupid hallway. And I don't get blown up. Yeah. Slide a hand. A lot of the guns, like my problem that made me always end up using stopping power for 95% of classes was that you just became so accustomed to the stopping power that then you'd switch to slide a hand or jug. And you'd immediately be like, oh, this is, this is like me anticipating getting like someone drop shotting me and then me having to get them. And then I take more power was so best in slot.

there wasn't really a case for anything else I think in Modern Warfare 2 it competed with UAV jammer whatever one made you run fast It made you run fast No that's a first perk Marathon's uh There were two running perks though right

Yeah there was one in the red class Lightweight, yes And it made you faster So sometimes I would run lightweight and capture the flag But of course the whole fucking community Only understood kills and you take all stopping power and they're like,

ah, Woody was shit. It's like, what? Who did all the flag capping? But, or it'd be hard to even do anything because it was stopping power. Without stopping power, you were defenseless. Yeah, then there were some completely useless.

Like, I don't, I don't think I ever equipped sit rep, like even once in that third slot. What did that do again? didn't it like tell you where fucking like claimers were or something? Is that what that one was? No, there was an eavesdrop or something. I think there was one called.

And it would just be annoying because you'd hear the bad mics on the other team in addition to the bad mics on your team. You get close to the enemy and they sort of had an audio scrambler where you couldn't hear footsteps as well because all of a sudden you heard because obviously you can't, you don't have them muted like you would mute bad audio teammates, but you wouldn't mute bad audio opponents. Then you get next to it with eavesdropper, you'd hear it. Yeah, it was garbage.

I do remember people bitching early on in MW2's lifecycle about Commando letting you like leap across like 20 feet of distance and stab them. Yeah, I think they fixed that immediately. Commando and then you had the tactical night. So you had the really quick jabby motion. You know, you had the pistol on top of the night. when you held them like that. Infinity Ward was terrible.

I don't know if they're still terrible, but that was such a garbage company. They did Cod 4, and everyone thought they were the good one. They did Modern War II, and that game was so broken the whole time. Everybody quit that company for some reason, so they couldn't maintain the code,

and they just let the game languish, even though it's the most popular game on Earth, is crazy. Yeah, everybody, I remember tons of people bouncing back and just making Cod4 videos for a while, like half the content would just be back to God 4. Because people also didn't, other than like wings and a couple others, people didn't like World

at War that much. And World at War was one of my least favorite. I just didn't sell me. I'm trying to play cyberpunk right now. Cyberpunk is a widely loved game. People say it's great. When it came out, it was too buggy, I guess. I didn't have it then.

But I bought it recently. Just looking for like a gaming side chick, I guess. I am trying to convince myself. I don't loathe this fucking game. what is the it's boring it's so fucking boring I just sit there listening to this

bitch talk and talk and talk and talk she just fucking goes on this is a game about listening to characters talk I think it's an endurance game they just testing me on how long I'll go before I quit this motherfucker

I've been in one gunfight and it was garbage gunplay my gun had no scope, the iron sights on my pistol, cover the enemy. So basically you aim like away from the enemy, note where he is and then go back and shoot them while you can't see him because he's covered by your sights. And the gun plays garbage. The talking is garbage.

It's a game about, I don't know, increasing your rep in this fictional city you don't give a fuck about. I don't, I keep going back to, I'm only two and a half hours in, but it is two hours and 15 minutes of listening to dialogue. You're sitting in a car. at one point it was like hey this is just you're a passenger in this car you can skip this scene I'm like oh my god this is the best part of this game skipping the fucking talking that cyberpunk is the most garbage game I've played in the last 15 years and I can't um it's like stellar blade it's just dialogue after

dialogue of bullshit you don't care about the final boss in every game is listening to women talk and that's all I have going on it's cyberpunk don't like harpy Stop playing RPGs. Everyone said it was good. I was looking for like a gaming side chick. My friend said he put all his like ability points into like agility and gunplay or what. I don't even know what the things are. I'm new to the game.

And it's a bit of an aim trainer. And I was like, what? A game that's like a fun game to play, but is like a aim trainer on the down low. Like it tricks you into. to practicing headshots. I love that.

I love that. So I was like, this is my jam. I'm going to play cyberpunk, but equip myself. I don't care about lockpicking or eavesdropping or cyber hacking or any of that other horse shit.

Do you want me to do stealth? Fuck you. I want to pop everyone in the head before I die. That's how I want to play. Because stealth is for people with vaginas. This game is just... What's a story about?

Apparently, I'm supposed to convince mobsters. I'm cool. See, The part of RPGs that people like is the part where you care about the story and you read every line of dialogue and listen to every line and you pretend you are that person. You embody that character. You're like, okay, I'm that guy now. What am I going to do?

Am I going to be a good guy? Am I going to be a bad guy? Am I only out for myself? Am I here for the greater community? If you don't care about those things and crafting that story and experiencing it as a character in it, not just an observer from the outside, then RPGs are simply not for you because 80% of what makes

a good RPG, quote unquote, is that. I hate this game so fucking much. And I was on board. I started with the most positive attitude. I was like, what? This thing's a fucking aim trainer that doesn't know it's an aim trainer? Sign me up. And then I go to the creative character. And I'm like,

all right, I want to be a woman and I want to be hairy. Well, you can't be Harry. So strike one. It's no held and ring. Alder's Gate. you can be a hairy woman very hairy okay we'll talk but um and then you're you're created class she's naked i'm choosing her like her vulva in this thing there's a couple different penises you can scroll through i'm like this this isn't bad you can have a penis you can be a girl with a penis in this game if you want to almost gate too really it's not the direction i went i chose it chose a fine ass

vagina i'm kind of i'm kind of rocking it and then she never took her clothes off again i don't know why I took all the time to get the ideal vagina to stay the character to create a class, but I never saw it since. And all I do is listen to people talk in boring ways. And it's, it tests my patience. I hate this game so far.

I got my cooch out all the time. You got to quit. You play with me. You play some Ballers Gate with me. You see some elf cooch. That is an annoying thing about any of these games like Bethesda or otherwise where you can spend a long time. I think the first time I ever played Skyron back in college.

I messed around with the face a lot, trying to make it silly or something. And then within two seconds, a guy is like helping you escape the dragon tower. And he's like, here, put on this helmet. And never again will you see what your character looks like? In cyberpunk, I went to AI. And I'm like, if I sell all my clothes, will I run around naked? And I guess the answer is no.

You will look like you're wearing clothes, but you won't get their protective value. And I'm like, that's the worst of both worlds. fuck I think so I'm playing my fallout character has massive tits and ass and when I like change I have to put on like specific clothes to craft things specific clothes to like fight like like any RPG so like as I'm changing clothes like just huge titty's that my girlfriend is like what are you playing like every dialogue scene is just my huge cans out I love it one of the best mods for games like that is one that makes it so that And Baldr's Gate just has a box you check,

but it's to remove the helmet or head item during dialogue scenes. So you get to see your character's face and expressions and what you look like. It just hides the helmet. But you still get the armor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it only hides it like for that sort of one, two shot where we go back and forth between me saying something and the character I'm, you know, conversating with. I'm like between both of you on RPGs where I like to know the story,

but sometimes like it's like I get the like all right like I get the gist of what you're saying and he's like you know dragons haven't been here in over a thousand years let me start from the beginning I'm like no

oh my god well hang on a minute do you have like an abridged version of the last thousand years he was giving me like the like Putin's history of Russia about dragons. I get the dragons are a problem.

I'm here to help, but please, you know, spare me. That's like, that's most of the charm of fallout is when you're going through those buildings and reading the old terminals

and sort of learning how evil this place you're in was a hundred years ago and the awful things that befell these poor people. And then you find their skeletons at the end and you have some meaning when you get to the end of the dungeon and like there their body is or whatever. You're like, oh, that's little marquee from the journal entries I was reading. I guess he didn't make it.

I like all that stuff. The story is the point for me. I want to be part of the story. Like, I would prefer if there were like a point to a lot of these experiments. But some of them, it's just like we wanted to see if we could make water people. It didn't work. It didn't work. It's like he only had a hundred of these and you were really fiddling around.

that much with like gills on people like all the water's toxic now like there's there's no reason they were making there wasn't a gill people vault i don't think there was there was some stupid shit in there there were some weird ones yeah they the you wanted to be in one of the control vaults one of the like 17 that that oh god don't do that he's got he's trusting a doctor alfie whatever the fuck oh zach find that video that i linked to you early this morning of the indian people getting revenge for their fallen cow. I saw that. Yeah.

I was just working for it to go even more poorly and inspired more revenge. That was the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning at like 5 a.m. or something. It was was that clip. I was cracking up. No one dies in the, uh, am I showing all of it? Yeah. We can't show anybody. It's just a random Reddit video.

Oh, there's nobody. There's a, there's just a dead cow, right? Yeah, it's fine. Okay. All right, well then we're probably good to watch it. Yeah. India.

So what's happened here is those exposed electrical wires on that marquee have electrocuted and killed that cow. And these Indian people are here to get revenge for the cow against, you might wonder, the owner of the marquee, no, the owner of the establishment,

no, the electrical company, no. Electricity itself. Is their enemy today? Beat the electricity. Beat it. I have concerns. Yeah. Oh, no.

Electricity is vulnerable to kinetic attacks. This is a lot of damage. I'm going to fact-check you on that. Yeah. I mean, what is that? What is he wearing? He looks like an orange. What is he wearing?

Do they think that more wires hanging down would help? Yeah. They're just going to. You're just going to fuck up another cow Or some kid. They beat up the electricity. That's so absurd. That's not how I saw that going.

I thought for sure one of them was going to fall victim to the electricity. Ah, I'm sure they did later. I mean, somebody came by, especially with all those exposed wires now after they knocked them all down. Chat, if you bought Hickeway on my recommendation, I'm having my doubts. My hiccums are back. You know, I always like a spoonful of sugar. for what's supposed to be a very efficacious medically backed product woody i didn't want to say anything there's a lot of exclamation points on the website like this

which like if you go to a plastic straw this thing's 19 dollars and 75 cents worth of profit oh yeah it's just not even a good straw no it's terrible as a straw good for well it looks cool at least yeah I got that comment for me and I look cool doing it oh oh my god oh I can't hear the suction now but you audio only people he's working it like a like like like the piglet who couldn't get a teat and now he has one he is going after it he has to

sip forcefully through the mouthpiece swallow immediately and repeat two or three times without without pausing. It is not working for me. Here, this is, Kyle stepped away. Let's, I'm going to do a couple of wonderful advertisements. Okay. You can really try and get that thing to work again. I'm going to get some more water.

I'll just be a few seconds. I don't need to leave you load. All right, everyone. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Audible. Could listening make you a better parent, a better leader, even a better person? Could listening to motivating fitness programs get you fit. Could listening inspire you to start something new? There's never been a better time to start listening on Audible. With Audible, you get access to an unbeatable selection of audiobooks,

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Don't miss out on this offer. A-U-D-I-B-L-E-D-L-E-D-L-E-D-C-A. Get started with a 30-day trial. Audible's tremendous. I've had Audible for like 10 years. The rollover credits are great because sometimes I'll be really into reading and I'll read two books a week for two months or something like that. And then I'll go six months without reading anything.

And the credit's just accrue over time. And sometimes they'll do like as your credits are accruing, they'll institute like a spin-two credits, get one free kind of thing. And you're able to utilize those safe. up credits whenever you want to. And I like listening to books better than reading them. I really do. Sometimes it's kind of neither a plus nor a minus when you're being read a book,

but with like Dungeon Crawler Carl, it's so much better. So much is added to it through the performances of the readers, the performers. It's really good. That's what I'd recommend. If you're looking to get into something, obviously War I'm 40K, but Dungeon Crawler, Carl. That's the one. I'm like Kyle and that I tend to do audiobooks more. But if you're a hybrid like Taylor,

Audible has this thing where you can like listen to a chapter or even listen and stop mid chapter. And then pick it up in your Kindle and read from there if you're a hybrid guy. And I thought that was a really good idea. Yeah, that's a good feature because I like a mix. But yeah, Dungeon Crawler Carl, Kyle's been raving about that for a while. and that seems to be a listening experience over just sitting there with the book. My girlfriend's really into it, so I've got all the books, but I bought it on Audible anyway, because I like to go back and forth.

And I like a paper book, too. I use her paper books some, but I always end up going back to the performances because it's so good. She just finished the newest book. Like, it came out, and she read it in two days or something like that. Yeah. This episode's also brought to you by Lock and Load. Check out Gorillamine.com. but the number one product there you should be checking out is lock and load use code PCA or code Giz save 10%

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So that's, if you're going to be using this for a while, just sign up, auto renew with both savings right on top of each other. Yeah, I put it in order like a couple days ago and got a bunch of stuff. I got, I like the dream. What's it called? Gorilla Dream. Gorilla Dream, yeah. You do like that.

Which sounds scary. I put in an order, but not for me. And Harley texted me and said he got his lock and load. So I can't wait to hear the stories, the tales of Harley's cum shots. Excellent. Sick. We'll have to text him to remind him. Stay hydrated.

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about solving the hiccups. I like a spoon full of sugar myself. If I was going to recommend something, not only is a spoonful of sugar, I like it because, completely different from anything else you've probably already tried, which is like different breathing exercises to reset whatever in your stomach brain nervous system is making you do that, like holding your breath or sucking on that little pink dick. But I think that a spoonful of

sugar, just a spoonful of sugar. That's solved the whole problem. I looked it up. 16 calories? I expected so many more in a teaspoon of sugar. Sugar's not that bad for you. You look at how many, how many calories do you think you're in a a glazed donut. From Krispy Kreme? Yes. 120. 230.

The answer is 190. Oh, that's way more than I thought. I thought it was like really low. Who was closer? You were off by 70 and I was off by 70. Yeah. I don't know if we're doing price or right rules.

But he busted so, you know, by default. Yeah. Hold your breath. Thanks for that AI. That's like my most standard fair one where you just hold your breath. as long as you can. It doesn't work for me. I try to swallow right when I hiccup.

And it does this weird like frog ribbit thing audibly. It's like a wallop. But it also stops the hiccups. If I can swallow the moment that I hiccup and like combine those two things together. Okay. So that could that could work. But every time some of these work for me, I'm always like, I bet that was just the standard end of the hiccups. and I just happened to be doing this at the time.

Like it was going to end eventually no matter what. Breathe into a paper bag, never plastic. You're not the boss of me. No, you're an adult. You can do it. Well, he's not hiccuping anymore. Sip or gargle cold water. Swallow granulated sugar.

Place a teaspoon of dry sugar on your tongue and swallow it or let it dissolve. This irritates the throat and may stimulate the Vegas nerve. One small older study reported success in most cases. Is it Vegas nerve? Or maybe I haven't run. I thought it was Vegas nerve. That's how it's spelled the AGUS. Ooh, bite into a lemon or taste a few drops of vinegar. Oh, Vegas. Something to stimulate that nerve as well. See, I spell it differently. So I pronounce, I pronounced the R I put in there. The vagus nerve. Vargis, I thought it was.

Vargas. That's not what I went to school for. Yeah, we need Jackie to bring you a lemon or a bottle of vinegar to put some on your tongue. We could probably do lemon juice, but I have a spoonful of sugar coming my way. I already tested it. Oh, nice. Okay. Yeah, start with the sugar because vinegar is my go-to.

Pleasant. Really? I've never tried that. You think it works? Is that, do you swear by it? That was my recommendation because it is my, it is my remedy. It is what I do. I should be here in a second.

And then I sing the song while I do it. To help the medicine go down? Yeah, in the most delightful way. All right, I accept your deal. You can sing, all I will eat. Cold water facial immersion. Thank you. Stimulates the vagus nerve.

vocal vibrations if Jackie was a real one she'd have brought you salt instead just to you imagine like the just a little just a spoonful of sugar so I'm supposed to put it on my tongue

just eat it yeah says you're supposed to put it on your tongue dry looks dry to me and then you can either swallow it or I mean the way it was more sugar

Well, better safe and sorry. That's a big spoonful of sugar there. No, normal spoonful of sugar. Oh, you spilt it on the keyboard. That thing's fancy. Oh, okay, you got it in him. He got it in him. AI doesn't seem to care one way or the other if you let it melt or if you just swallow it.

Nobody's singing. I'm not sure it to work. Get it down rough. Singing a little vibrato in the voice. Well, sugar helps some medicine go down. in the nosy life way. That solved it.

Cured. 100% cured. That's why you do take medical advice from me. Fuck. I just think of it again. You need some more sugar. I have more.

I have more. It's just some. You missed it, Kyle. He just shot it. He just the rest of the sugar. Yeah, that's going to I mean, you're going to be making lemonade in your mouth. Yeah, right, right?

Gently pull on your tongue. It seems like they're stretching now. I don't think that any of these are particularly good. You know that one guy had hiccups for years and had to get a surgery. Really? They do. Yeah. Well, they like cut something.

They probably severed his vagus nerve or whatever you called it. No, I think that's, that probably does a lot more than make you hiccup occasionally. That's all it does, Taylor. It's probably important. That's all it does. One job. He couldn't sing anymore, which impacted his love of dance. Longest case of hiccups. This guy, Charles Osborne from Iowa, he hiccups continuously.

Actually, hang up. How long do you think the longest case of hiccups was? And I'm going to help you a little. It was a long one. Okay. Two and a half months. I'm going to say 63 years.

68 years. Taylor, with the gold star guest, with the gold star guest. I mean, it was close. I almost got it. It was pretty close. And look, it's such a 1920s way to get a 70-year case of hiccups.

It began in 1922 when Charles Osborne, which sounds like a superhero's name, was lifting a heavy 350-pound hog to weigh it for butchering when he fell down. Doctors believe that the fall broke a tiny blood vessel, the size of a pin, in his brainstem, which destroyed the part of his brain that stops the hiccup reflex. At first, he hiccpped 40 times per minute. In his later years, it slowed to 20 times per a minute, and over his lifetime, he hiccups an estimated 430 million times.

Oh, my gosh. Charles Osborne One of the The picture of him here You could tell he's over it He's so He lived to be 98 That's a lot of hiccups

Maybe it kept him Yeah He kept him young He was burning additional calories or something And he couldn't He couldn't even begin to think about Overeating or treats And like maybe I'm too quick to pull the trigger

But I don't want to go on If I've been hiccuping for five years With no end in sight You know Look at look at it. You can tell those hiccups beat him down. He should have bought a super gay straw.

I bet he sucked on all sorts of stuff to try that. He'd do anything. Oh, God, he looks at that Biden confused look in that picture. Do you think he got tired of people telling him how to get rid of him? Well, you know what I do. Yeah, he must have been

aw. He was a looker in his early days. Everyone's a looker in military dress outfits and you like fitness. Damn. That fucking sucks. He got him on the Tonight Show. Oh, probably just like enough.

End it. There was not a lot going on back then if he made it to the Tonight Show, right? Can you imagine? Was that Johnny Carson? Was it before Johnny Carson? Did he start that show? I don't even know. It would have been Carson.

Yeah, he started it. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, he made it from 1893 to 1991. That's a long, brutal, hiccupy life. That's a pretty good life. He lived through a lot of good times for the USA, I guess. Really, the main times.

He got all the way to winning the Cold War and then checked out. Didn't have to see the rest of that stuff. Yeah. Right. We got to see both World Wars. I would assume World War I a lot closer based on the get up. That looked like World War II to me. Oh, well, he would have been like in his early 40s for that.

He looks so young in that Marine Corps uniform. That's why I thought it was World War I maybe, but maybe the Marines weren't even a thing yet. Yeah, I don't think they had snazzy uniforms like that too. It looked very modern to me. It looked good. Man, his second wife put up with the hiccups for 51 years before she died. And she's the real big to me. I couldn't deal with it.

Like if my wife hiccups every, what did he say? 40 times a minute? Yeah. Nah. And what do they mean by early versus late years? Like was he doing 40 a minute for 10 years? And then it was 80? years of 20 a minute?

And it really specified, but it sort of slowed down here clearly by the end where it was 40 times a minute at first and then it ended up being 20 times a minute toward the end of his life. That sucks. My wife had incurable hiccups. I think I'd try to convince her that oral sex was a hiccup cure. It was really, you know what? A hundred thousand times might work. Maybe.

You know, that's got to stimulate that nerve or something. If a spoonful of sugar can, I bet a lock and load boost might really get the 1920s, I can just imagine some guru, you know, you've been hiccuping for five years now nonstop and some guru tells you that sucking his dick is the cure. And, you know, there's no, there's no grok to ask in 1927. You might have to suck a dick. There's an article about him in that, when was this? It says man still seeking cure for 56 years of hiccups.

Good golly. He never gave up. This was his odyssey. Poor guy. That's genuinely, like I really feel for that guy. What a terrible thing to be stricken with randomly. Like a, he fell. He fell weighing a pig.

They probably couldn't let him on the front lines in, like, trench warfare. Keep that hiccup and down. He's in bass stuff. And there's all quiet. There's crops nearby. I have it down the street. I have a Reddit post I saved as a show topic.

Yeah, what do you got? My boyfriend thinks I dress inappropriately and don't know how to react. We've been in a relationship for almost three years. But for the last few months, we've had a lot of communication issues and days where he just ignore me. After talking, the conclusion is he's not happy with my clothes and considers that I ask for attention. Now, the majority of my clothes are quite basic. The biggest thing would be that I own a lot of crop tops. And apparently my belly button out means I want attention and I'm sexual, which is something that didn't even cross my mind. And I never received comments on this in my

past relationships. I brought it up in a woman only household. Oh, I was brought up in a woman only household. So there were never strict rules about my clothes, apart from stuff like your butter tits are out because don't have your butt and tits out. Okay. However, I do. I do own a lot of skin tight clothes and I never thought about it too much. He says that all men think about when they see a woman dressed like that on the street is basically I just like their attention, which I don't agree. But we really don't see to eye on that. He has a more modest family and they dress classy on all occasions. So I see his point. I've already tried to get rid of some of my clothes and dress more of his liking, but apparently it keeps bugging him. This also stems from an

incident at the beginning of relationship where a guy would hit on me at a party by putting his hand around my waist, which I removed. And then I went up to that guy a second time and asked him something, but I did keep a distance. And then I went and told my boyfriend what happened. He got mad and he keeps bringing this up telling me that I should never went to him the second time. But we understand and I agree I should have done that. The party was really loud, yada yada.

I don't know how to navigate this issue. They never really got to common ground and I feel like I'm drained on it. So my opinion on this is unpopular. Everyone says I'm wrong. But to me, like high school girls dress like whatever. I don't know. They might even have a lot of choices. They haven't been the same size for a long time, whatever.

College girls in skin tight crop tops and tight clothes with their belly out and whatever, I always thought presented as single. And if you have a boyfriend, but you're wearing a crop top and a short skin tight dress or whatever with your belly button out, that you do it's like your lores in the line you're trolling not the internet trolling but like the fishing kind of trolling where you're just like presenting a single in front of everyone and as a guy I always sort of thought like eh that's a little too much you know what like why do you have five buttons undone on that button down shirt like yeah that's that's extra um but all of reddit says I'm insane that that's controlling

that this is like abusive behavior her body her choice whatever whatever and i'm like i guess i'm crazy i just felt like like you can picture like christina applegate like from uh married with children like how she dressed that presents a single and available to me am i crazy is i think it's uh i i think so but i think it's going to vary from relationship to relationship if he's not comfortable with it that's perfectly okay though I think is the crux of the whole issue. It is that I bet a lot of those comments try to invalidate his concerns and his feelings for whatever reason. When his concerns and feelings are just as valid as whatever, like, feelings she has about wanting to be able to address however she wants, whatever she wants, whatever she wants, et cetera.

But if they're going to be in a couple, then there's going to have to be, you know, all the time, like there's give and take. So if it's a deal breaker for him, then just break the deal. It's where I always come down with that. Like, it's not wrong for him to feel that way. It's wrong for you to stay with him and dress that way, though. Like, you know, it should continue. Yeah. Top comment. Move on. No one should have to deal with controlling crap like this.

You're an autonomous person, and you and only you get to decide how you dress. If he doesn't like it, he can find a different girlfriend. Don't bend to his whims, yada, yada, yada. Next comment. If he ignores you, don't obey him. So gross. Don't date controlling men. Next comment.

You tell him you'll wear exactly what you want to. Listen to not another work about it, weird phrasing. If he's that insecure, he's not the one for you. Don't settle for less. Funny how your boyfriend is blaming you and not the obviously terrible behavior, man. This is misogyny. Hey, all men don't sexualize and agle women,

Google, who wear crime. They're gay men. Whatever. And men born with vaginas. He's telling on himself. This doesn't sound like it's a different in style. He assumes your attention seeking it. Repeat after me.

I'm allowed to wear what I want. Anyone who infringes on that right does not deserve to be in my life. It goes on and on. Yeah. I don't know. There seems to be a lot of unhappiness in the comment section about the situation. But like you're right. Like you're both right.

Like Kyle is correct in that if this is making him uncomfortable and he's like, hey, you're like going up to guys and they're grabbing you. And then you're going up talking to them alone later. Like that's that's very much an on the market behavior. And you're dressed in such a way that like you are getting a positive attention for it. Like that is, you know, that is like a reason to dress that way if you're a woman is looking for positive. attention, positive feedback. But if it's like a deal breaker that she just needs these clothes, it's like just end it. Like it's clearly a close enough to a deal breaker for him. And so, you know,

if you want to dress like that, find a guy who's okay with your dress like that. We don't have enough information about that couple either. Like you sort of fill in the blanks yourself about socioeconomic statuses and who's paying the bills and this is. These people are and how attractive these people are. I do know the age. They're 23 and 22. And they've been together three years. And remember, this is a, they're all idiots. This is a question on Reddit. Like, and so the people posting are, I always assume, you know, grain assault, like,

probably excising a couple things here or there from the story that make their point a little less strong. Maybe, you know, going into it with a bit of a bias. Like. Right. Yeah. Sure. I like to wear miniskirts and bend down when I buy tomatoes. But it's not my fault on being up-ruled at this. And it's like, I don't know.

Well, it is encouraging that behavior because straight men are going to notice that. And he's like, yo, you're getting a lot of positive attention from men at parties. I always need pictures because we all paint our own mental picture that's probably skewed. I need pictures for something like this. First of all, she might be an ugo. Who she's fat as hell. Yeah, what he's fat as hell. What he really means is like, none of that shit you wear fits.

Like, you look like 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound case. Like you are bulging out of that. Yeah, he could be doing this for being like, oh, man. Oh, you just drop so much attention from men, honey. I get so jealous. I'm insecure. You really, what do you mean is you're fat and I'm okay with that. But God, it's embarrassing when like, I mean, I mean, you're just exploding at the seams.

You look. You're filled to bursting. You're like, pass. Paddy Pimbled in the off season. Like, did you eat two, two, two sticks tonight? I think he should, a good fix could be him starting to wear crop tops and being like, oh, not so chill.

How is it? It's all funny games to you wear a cod piece to dinner. I don't know. The crop tops and the skin tight clothes and the attention, attention from men, I picture her being really fit. Maybe, but again, I picture her as not as being none.

Existent if I'm being honest. Did you look at the account to see if it's I just did she made this account to ask this question So yeah, I don't believe any of those people. I don't believe any of those people I I read the comments sometimes and and the the average person on Reddit is such a loon and And and and their brain seems wired so much differently than mine on some basic issues like that like sometimes I'll read that I'll read the I'll read the post and I'll dig into it now I'll form an opinion and then in my head I'll be like I wonder what the loons on red Reddit think of this. And I'll go to the comments. I'm like, yeah, I knew it. They sided with the, with the bad guy. Now, watch this. Sort by controversial. Ah, my people. Here you guys are. Downvoted into oblivion. Speaking the truth down here. Negative 857 karma. To be a typical red predator often has good intentions, but they take it too far. Like, heck, the whole men and women's sports thing.

You're trying to be nice. I get it, but you're not looking at both sides. They hate victim blaming. Oh my God, they hate victim graining. You know what? Batman's parents are fucking idiots. They're fucking idiot assholes. They wore a tuxedo, furs, pearls,

diamonds, and they strolled down crime alley. It's your fault, bitch. It's your fault. You don't walk down crime alley. night looking obviously rich and defenseless. Sometimes the victim brings this shit upon themselves. And you're not allowed to be over the top stupid and then say, is it my fault criminals attack me?

Batman's parents deserve what they got. Those people needed to be Darwined out. Well, I don't know about that, but they definitely deserve what they got. I think it was called Park Row or something, but it was known by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, by the, locals as crime alley and like every time I watch I'm so glad the newest Batman they don't go back to that and show us that same

scene of Martha's pearls getting snapped and rolling through the alley as the gunshots go off and the little boy looks on in horror I'm so tired of seeing that that scene remade every generation like I don't know where Batman came from

I know where Batman came from there is no one in this movie theater who's like so he's like just a guy who dresses a bat? Oh, he's rich. Oh, okay. Bruce is it? Like, no one is here saying any of that. We all know who fucking Batman is

where he came from. It's not necessary to do an origin story. Yeah. Well, they're not real. It wouldn't have been as good a story if they were still alive. He kind of needed that character development, Batman. Ah, there's an alternate universe where the wife

dies and the son dies. Little Bruce dies in that shootout in the and the father becomes Batman. And so he's an old Batman. That's a pretty interesting, like alternate, you know, DC universe where it's old man, Batman. It's probably not very good. What's the alternate universe cartoon?

I really liked it. I forget the name of it. It's Marvel. It's Marvel. Captain America is a girl. What if? Yeah, yeah. A lot of his mixing up superheroes, like, what if, you know,

this person got bit by a spider instead or this person. and got the Captain America serum. Some of it is like, you know, what if a zombie outbreak happened? And some of the superheroes were super zombies. How do we do with that? It's fun. Yeah, I like that show too.

I've watched a bunch of those. I've been, we went through all the Spider-Men movies this week, my girlfriend and I, and I think we're going to go watch that Tom Holland one, maybe this weekend. Tom Holland one, the new one. The new one that's the biggest movie of all time now that's going to make,

$2 billion somehow. That's crazy. Like, I'm genuinely happy for Tom Holland. Like, what an amazing, like, wave he's riding right now. He had a smaller role in the Odyssey, but obviously that made a billion dollars, and it's a huge news story and big movie for the year. And then his Spider-Man movie is going to make $2 billion. I was reading, he's the second hottest actor ever to live, that he has the number one and number

two movie right now. Did I tell you this already? You did not. The only hotter actor ever is Michael J. Fox Because he also had the number one and number two movie. They were back to the future in Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf. But unlike Tom

Holland, I haven't seen it, but I guess he has a big part in the Odyssey, but he's not like the clear main character. Team Wolf and Back to the Future were clearly a Michael J. Fox movie. Yeah. Jim Carrey had a wild run of movies in the 90s.

Like if you look at what he did in the in the 90s, it's crazy the amount of money those movies were making on small budgets. Like he couldn't miss. Yeah. For the longest. Tom Holland feels can't miss.

But like, I'm glad someone else is betting $250 million that they'll get at least that much every movie. Yeah, it's $225 million was the budget. And then marketing is usually like that again. sometimes like almost almost that again but gonna make two billion dollars and to make it with

your wife that that's got to be just so fun and so rewarding uh you know i think she got paid 300 000 for the first one and i think this one she made like five to eight million dollars and i was like that it helps the negotiations that you're married to spider man yeah and and her movies seem to be hits like consistently hit she's either choosing great movies are doing a great job. Yeah, she did. He's done like three or four movies this year. She did that romantic comedy with Robert Pattinson, where they're like getting married or something,

and then Dune with Robert Pattinson and then Spider-Man. And then Bernthal, he did The Odyssey and Spider-Man. I wonder what's a bigger deal. Choosing the right movies or making your movie great? Because I'm looking. Like, I think DiCaprio, maybe. He gets credit for both. Or maybe the right projects.

Yeah, projects, movies. Obviously, script is a huge part of what makes a movie good. The director and the studio. But you can look at the director in the studio. Yeah. So like Forrest Gump, for example, I think if a lot of actors play that role, it's not very good movie. That it was a script that was just fine.

There's a story that was just fine. But if I star in that movie, none of you have heard of it. Tom Hanks took a medium movie. movie and made it one of the greats. I'm looking up who else tried out for that role. So John Travolta, Bill Murray, and

Chevy Chase were offered or considered for the part of Forrest Gump. So Chevy Chase is garbage. That would be terrible. Bill Murray's interesting. Yeah. You know, he sort of plays like a slow, goofy character in

Caddyshack. And in a lot of stuff, I suppose. John Travolta played a mentally retarded man in a movie about three years ago. It's a movie called The Fan. And it's one of those movies that's so awful and embarrassingly funny at times.

It's really gruesomely bad. He's trying to play like an obsessed... He's a retarded man who is a super fan of like some Hollywood actor. And he's like in the guy's house, like one of the guys asleep, like kissing him on the forehead. The guy doesn't know he's in his house.

else. Like he's a loon. It's a it's a it's a bonkers movie. Uh, but then the, uh, the author of Forrest Gump originally envisioned John Goodman. John Goodman. Well, the author of Forrest Gump sucks. Forrest Gump in the books, it's a little bonkers. He's not nice. He beats people up. He curses constantly. He drinks a lot. Like, he's not the Farst Gump that we love. Forrest, I, I suffered to the end of, I only read the second one. I want to know what happens next. And I suffered to get through that book. And it's a quick read. So I can see why he pictured John Goodman or someone who would otherwise play a Frankenstein. It's a great big dude, Fars Kump. Like he beats people up a lot in bars and shit.

Okay. How big is he supposed to? Oh, let me look that up. How big is in the books? Yeah, let's see. He is 6'42. That explains so much about what he does in life. No wonder he's able to carry his whole platoon on his back to safety and noms. No wonder he was a star running back for Alabama and won a national title and maybe a Heisman trophy and met the president multiple times. He played for the Giants. He's a heap of a man. It really never made sense that Tom Hanks was doing any of those things, but he's such a good actor.

You buy it? Yeah, yeah. But so I can see why he pictured like a stupid Jack Reacher, you know, to play the role. But we're talking about Farshump. Okay. John Goodman. But I just didn't like them.

Yeah. I think Travolta would have been my second choice. And I know you said he did poorly in that other role. I keep thinking of him in Michael where he like played a different guy. Or who did he, remember he had a brain tumor and became a genius? Phenomenon. Yeah, oh, you're good at that. It's a bit of a spoiler.

It, oh, yeah, I did spoil that. But that's a really good movie. I think you guys would, I'd chat where I enjoy it. But yeah, Travolta, I just felt like he was that character. He was very convincing for me. John Travolta kind of, a bad actor, like me. If you've ever tried doing a little bit of acting like you, okay.

It's almost like you can see they're thinking about what is someone thinking about me as I perform these lines. But I never get that with Travolta. He just does it without concern for how well it's coming off, and it makes him nail it, I think. Get your tickets now for the dog stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go!

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And Guy Pearce. Arm up! The Dog Stars, directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters, August 28th. Get tickets now. I disagree. Watch some clips from this. There's a part where, like, he freaks out in the movie, and there's a part where he's, like, fucking, he's, like, clearly trying to think of what a retard, something retarded to say.

Like, he doesn't know what to say in this moment. Like, it's, it's one of the worst movies ever made. it's it's horrifically bad the fanatic the ending is insane dude it gets really violent and gory like it takes a turn it gets dark and it's meant to be sort of a i think he thought it was going to be sort of like what if forest gump was like a psycho and but but it comes off is like laughable and weird and just really really bad performance from him i can see what you're saying even in the trailer. The way he carries himself as a creep.

First of all, it's like, is there like, I think it was a Jim Norn or Anthony Coombe. He's like, is there a barber or just one guy all these people go to? Like, just because it looks ridiculous. Like that's clearly a big carrying part is that he's got the silliest hairstyle of all the time. But is this the one where at the end? he like breaks into a celebrity's house.

Yep. And the celebrity like stabs his eye out. Yeah. Okay, I've seen this. I didn't like it. No one liked it. No, I was like, oh man. But someone needed to step in and be like, you can't be doing this, man.

Like you're one of people's houses, just showing up harassing them, stalking them. Remember he like? Just go to like their book signing or something. He did. And that's, I mean, that's even in the trailer. He goes to the book signing. it doesn't go well. And he's legitimate

like a super fan and he finds out where this guy lives through one of those star maps or he's got a friend who's like into that or something. And next thing you know

he's like nancing around this guy's house like intoxicated but with the idea of like being in like Tom Cruise's house or whatever like oh this is Tom Cruise's TV

and this is his couch and like smelling his hat and like just just like bathing in the fandom that is sneaking into your your like this guy's house and then like the guy comes home or something and goes to bed and goes to sleep and john travola's still there i guess and john travolta kisses him on the forehead while he sleeps can you imagine taylor living as a single man living as a single man

like to rewind a few years and you wake to a to a kiss on the forehead in the middle of the night from john travolta with that haircut sounds canon nice first you don't know who it is and you must be filled with abject terror, but then you open your eyes and you see John Travolta with that haircut. Now you're totally terrified and confused. Yeah. I mean, this is a nightstand gun situation.

It's like this needs, and this guy's a... You know, even going to let him talk? No, this guy's a danger to me. He's just standing there with, like, holding his hands and his hands looking confused, and you just open up on him. You know who would have been good at Farsco? James McAvoy. Do you know him?

Yeah, of course. Yeah. I think he was for the audience's sake. He might have been too young at the time. He's the guy that played in Split. And Split is that movie in the Unbreakable Universe where he's kind of a beast with multiple personalities who holds these women hostage in like a basement or something. And the personalities were like a little kid, an angry adult, a murderer. I don't know if I can list them all.

Was one of them an animal? I forget. Mm-hmm. And, uh, dude, the way he transformed. as he switched from personality to personality. His facial expressions all changed. Of course, his voice and accent changed, but the way he carried himself,

like it, masterful acting job. I agree. Horace Gump would be an easy day for him. Robin Williams. Yeah. Robin Williams could have done Forrest Gump. I know.

No, he could not have. No. Robin Williams doesn't have the discipline. He would have gone off in some fast-up or shit that he always does, ruin the movie. He always does. He always did.

Oh, I think. Oh, stupid is a stupid does. I've only got one kind of delivery. Talk real quick. You're supposed to laugh. That's not true. He's like I'm bullying you. Bullying you in a lot of things.

Six different ways and act like I'm clever because I come up with ideas quickly, but I don't. You think that would be good? I, no, not the way you did it if he's doing like his traditional schick. But like, remember him in Goodwill hunting? I'm not suggesting that that is akin to Forrest Gump, but it's a completely different character. It's his dry, professional,

I'm an Oscar-winning actor delivery. He's so good at Goodwill Hunting. When he's telling the story about his wife dying, and he's like to Matt Damon, and he's talking about, like, you know, really sharing and opening up to him, that those are great scenes. I think he's a tremendous actor.

I thought he was great in a lot of stuff. I liked him, and this is Doubtfire, of course, when I was a kid. But I think he could, I think they nailed it with Tom Hanks. I don't think you do much better than Tom Hanks. Like Tom Hanks is one of the greatest actors of all time. He has been able to do every type of genre of movie. He's done horror and comedy.

He's done goofy, like, silly comedies. He's done serious comedies and dramas and fucking saving private Ryan. He's like the favorite of all the war movie guys. The only thing I haven't seen him in, and I know he's done it. I just haven't seen it as a Western. I think he did a Western like two years ago. Really? He's like a traveling storyteller, and someone's like,

I didn't know a fella could make a living doing such a thing. And he's like, there's not much for living. He's like riding around telling me. Oh, you're telling me. Oh, yeah. They just hit Rodman Williams. Yeah, I know. Tom Hanks was fine and saving private Ryan,

but I didn't like him as much as I liked Brad Pitt in the, Fury. Really? I like Brad Pitt. I probably. I have Yeah. I respect it. You have your own take. Yeah, yeah. Brad Pitt was, he rocked in that. Shaila Buff, rocked in that where he's like, no, everybody's got to deal with my

musk in this fucking tank. No AC. It's going to make the rest of you act more good. And then the John Bernthal, he's in that, right? Yep. He's good. I like him. That was a whole thing. It was a whole good. Yeah, that was a whole good movie. It's a good movie. It's, it's, it's, it's, I just felt like it was like one scene.

Like what do they drive up to the place where the tank stops and getting a big fight? That's all a fury. No, there's a, there's the main big battle scene is when there's like five American tanks versus one or two tiger tanks. And somehow they win. They shouldn't have even fucking won. But they're like, like that's a great fighting scene.

There's a bunch of good scenes in that. It's fine. I hate that fighting scene and I'll tell you why. The jump cuts. Oh. If a scene. especially a fight scene has jump cuts every one and a half seconds. They want you to feel anxiety, but they can't tell a story.

You watch that Batman movie that everyone loves the Dark Night. Watch the fight scenes in that, and there's a jump cut every second. Every second they change camera angles. That just means your actors can't fight, and your choreographers can't do their job either. And in that tank scene, the jump cuts make me crazy. Yeah. They, the Batman fight scenes aren't great.

And I, but I liked the little bits of dialogue between like Bain and Christian Bale. Like, that was still kind of fun where he's like, you didn't expect to find a strong retard down here, did you? That's not how I remember it? I don't know what I expected. All right, this is why Those were some really difficult dialogues to get through. He's like, who's yours? And you think I'm a difficult to understand.

Watch this clip. This is why the Batman, Robert Pattinson, is my favorite Batman. He's better than Christian Bail Batman. He's a superior Batman. I really, they're making the new one. It's been super delayed. Holy shit. Not one jump cut in this fight scene.

It was just a guy. It's just punching. Just punch. Just whooping them. And now the fucking... I haven't seen this one. I'm going to stop watching because I want to. But I'm impressed with what I saw.

Yeah. Did you timestamp it on purpose? It was right before the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's more of a low-tech Batman.

Like his car is just a car. But it's a cool car. and it's a really well-made movie. The penguins in it, played by Colin Farrell, and Catwoman is played by Lenny Kravitz's hot-ass daughter. I keep talking about how fucking sexy she is. Just real fucking hot lady,

especially in this movie. She's got short hair. This is guilty of the one at a time why I ought to style fighting, though. He's dressed as a bat. They're scared. They're all dressed like fucking clowns. Like, who would you rather see walking around the street?

Some guy where it's like this guy is a fucking weirdo, or it's a guy with like a gun and clown makeup, you know, chittering. I think that the psychological edge of a crazy guy dressed as a bat beating your toughest guy up like that, like just beat the shit out of him. Dude, real life Batman walks into like East St. Louis. man you gay and then they I'm not gay you're great

I went to Bing and searched Zoe Kravitz nudes thinking if it was one of Kyle's favorite actresses they'd be all over the internet but zero. Yeah yeah she keeps them close I'm looking at her mom here that works but yeah I've been staking her place out for a while

she vacations near here well then finally I'll get some nudes. Yeah, places have been empty for months, but fingers crossed, they're coming for the late summer. Late summer months. I'll get some bics, don't worry. Vacations in Atlanta. Yeah. I was like, who is this, daughter? Let me Google

this shit. All the blacks, do. Nah. Let me, let me binger. Is that like a pilgrimage? Yeah. Like, Atlanta is big for black celebrities. Like, all the black celebrities have a place here. Tyler Perry's place here. That makes sense?

How does that? Got it done. Tyler Perry's place here looks like a college campus. It doesn't even look like a person that, oh, that's where a person lives. It looks like a school of higher learning. Like it's so much like real estate and so many gates and long driveways and fucking columns and shit. Tyler Perry's house is like $150 million house or something nuts like that. I have never seen a Tyler Perry movie, but I remember there was a family guy bit on like an early season where like...

Look at that. They got the titties. Oh, did he? Did he get booms? I haven't seen. Oh yeah, to scroll. He's got the link on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here we are. Here we are. Yep, yep. Got some, some real deep. Booty from behind. I'm seeing all sorts of cameltoe. That booty from behind looks like she has a dick.

Ah, it's just a fat pussy, Woody. Dude. Like, like, does she have like a modesty thing under there so you can't see what you actually see? I don't know. Here, I'll give you guys a link. Although I think it's not working. There's no way.

Kyle will have to ask her. Taylor, tell me you see what I'm seeing. It's like she's packing. No, I thought for sure you'd be. Zach says, yeah, it does a bit. Thank you, Zach. Maybe just shows her ass. Could just be a lot of poof.

Cut out of this dress. Yeah, yeah. She's clearly a bit of. of a puffster, but like A puffster? A bit of a poofter. I guess my favorite suburbster's. I don't know what a puffster is.

Just a puffy pussy that's all. A puffy pussy. I think that's what it is. I don't think there's, I don't think there are any any surprising secrets. I'm going to vomit. All right. Someone doesn't like girls.

Someone doesn't like girls. All right. That's what girls are. You don't like him. I get it. I get it. I get it. In my fucking ear about panty sugar.

and I'm just getting a little ill, that's all. Guys have cleaner underwear if you want that, sure. There's no sugar in my underwear. There's no salt or pepper. No discharge except for the lock and load. Wow, there's a steady dribble, but that's because of the lock and load. That stuff really is.

Every now and then I talk to somebody about lock and load. And they're like, is it like a joke product? I'm like, no. We spend a lot of money developing it. We spend a lot of money creating each bottle. There's not a ton of markup. Like, it's, and your loads are going to be enormous. I was on there the other day because I was getting protein powder and stuff.

But I checked the reviews, glowing reviews. If you buy one, give us a review. I want to hear the truth, though. But some of them are pretty jokey. Some are pretty funny. Yeah. But even the jokey people know it works. I agree. I agree. Yeah.

It's because we're in a, like, we're in a space with the, in the jiz biz where like so many of our competitors are like, just one baby aspirin a day will be enough. And it's like there's, there's no conceivable way for there to be enough in that little grain of rice to actually do, deliver. Like that's so true. So true. Yeah. Yeah. If that was possible, we'd done that instead. But nope. It would have been so much cheaper. Your girlfriend's going to go, are you pissing on me? You're going to go, yes, but unrelated, wait till I bust. Not yet. Wait till we were in the shower.

I was going to try to talk with my mouthful as a joke, but I couldn't pull it all. I can't work. It could only take so much in one night. What if that, that's what would have cured the kickups, too. They're committed. I'm so sad to hear you shitting on cyberpunk when I came back because I've been playing I've been playing like five games simultaneously

and I kind of go back and have a like a little bit from each bowl every day and cyberpunk's one of them I've got maybe I'm like 10 hours in I'm good in it it's fun but I like stories I like stories and that chick's pretty hot to look at I also pick the lady character I like the driving I mean it's not hard

it's not like I'm kind of bad at it I've only driven a little bit I'm two and a half hours in. But, like, I can't just drive full speed anywhere I want and think I'm not going to hit any guardrails. I like that. That's what I like. I like that it's not completely on rails where you've got to pay attention. But it's also not like a driving sim or I'm shifting gears or, like, worried about, like, spinning out every few minutes or something like that.

I like it. I like that you zip around the map pretty good in that car. And I'm sure you can upgrade the car. There's some fast travel, too. I got this I got this OLED monitor that is amazing it was really expensive

I don't think I recommend it to people because it's like the $1,200 aces 27 inch 1440p $1,200 and it is like 10% better than the $600

one like that's probably what you should get but I don't buy monitors all that often and I didn't want to leave any like performance on the table. But looks so good. I wanted to play cyberpunk. I wanted to experience what might be the best looking game created so far on what could be one of the best monitors.

So does it look good? Sure. But it's women talking. What the fuck am I doing in this game? Also like, I know you're not a big RPG guy, but sometimes the first couple hours is the heaviest of that by far because they're setting. stage for all the kind of subsequent quests and then once you've kind of garnered a

menu of quests and action items then it's for free rain but those first couple hours depending on how it's structured can be a lot of like people telling you the tail yeah yeah you gotta meet everybody the last like five or six

games I've played I thought all of their menu system sort of sucked I thought marathons was hard to get around I think rain pose is hard to get around I thought Arc Raiders was a little hard to get around. Crafting was a pain in the ass. It was. And cyberpunk, I find to be a pain in the ass too.

But once I get good at them and understand their non-intuitive menu systems, I navigate them pretty quickly. And hopefully I'll get there with cyberpunk. Because right now I'm like, is the voicemail tree, the fucking menu item? Like mission selector? I think it might be. Chat GPT. I put that thing next to me when I game.

And anytime I get confused, is there any reason not to kill in Fallout 4 this character named Slush that I just bumped into on a bridge because they've been talking kind of reckless and it'll think for like 0.2 seconds. You can go ahead and feel free to kill Slush. You won't get great reward, but they'll be gone. Thanks a lot. Murder Slush real quick and take their pennies away from them. I love using my chat GPT when I game.

And anytime I'm confused or just having any sort of an idiot. or don't remember a thing. It's got the exact answer. So I did use chat GPT to help me in cyberpunk. Let me give you a little glance at my history. Does your character have sex in cyberpunk? Blah, blah, blah.

Yes. How do I make sure it happens? Blah, blah, blah. Is there lesbian sex? Blah, blah, blah. How can she have sex with them all? Blah, blah, blah. How do you have non-romantic encounters?

Find a joy toy icon on the mat, blah, blah, blah. How do you find a joy toy? Go to your local jig, jig street. Anyway, so I'm deep and Chad GBT on this thing. You're like, it's still like, like, Kianu Reeves is still like rotating on the, you haven't hit A yet. To like, go into the game. Okay, you're playing the game a little differently than I am. I'm sorry to get a window into it.

I know what I like. I'm always asking like what's the best sort. Have you ever enjoyed watching that? Because like I walked like a guy. For Fallout there's a guy. For Fallout there's a guy named Oxhorn. And it feels like he's telling you a story that like as he goes through and he gets the clues. He's like, oh, it seems like the volt dwellers here were part of some sort of an experiment.

As we dig deeper on this monitor, we find evidence that they were doing virus testing on mole rats down here in a secret compartment. That's how COVID started. It is how COVID started. It's not, but anyway. It was the Wu-Tang clan. It all came out. That makes sense. That makes sense, yeah.

It's nothing to fuck with. They're like, I got a but I can't taste. All this guy does is fallout. That was black eyed piece. I fucked up the joke. Close enough. When I go to when I go to his channel, it's for fallout.

I don't know if he does anything else like any other games. But Fallout takes about 140 hours to beat Fallout 4 does. So that's a lot of videos. You know, like more than 140 hours worth. I'm sure he's done many playthrus over the years. Oh, yeah, you do different characters,

different playstiles, different, different endings. Oh, he also reviews the television show. Or maybe he's just, oh, it's just breakdown. He's just telling you about the television show. I like that guy. He does good videos. It was pretty straightforward show. I didn't watch the second season yet.

I watched the first one. What show? Fall Out. Oh. Yeah, you should do that. I watched episode one of season two, and then just not even planning to take a break. I just didn't go back. I think that happened to us, too.

I don't know how deep we got. We got like one or two episodes in on season two and bounced off, I think. I want a lot more of that noseless guy. Of course. More noseless guy. Oh, I think you get it in season two. Yeah. I like the chick, the blonde-haired one with the.

ponytail. No, the brown-haired one with the ponytail. Yeah, she's fine too. Those four main characters and those two or two of them. There's also the black guy and the nerdy brother to the cute chick. Colly Culkin just doesn't seem tough to me. I love him in there. Nothing against him.

I'm sure he's a great actor who can do a lot more than home alone, but he just doesn't. I see him as like the Spartan or Roman Legion or whatever and I'm like, yeah, no wonder, like, he didn't inspire fear. It looks ridiculous. He doesn't really have to do anything. It's kind of quick.

Oh, he's like a one and done in and out character. No, I told you. I saw episode one of season two. Yeah, I mean, he's a member of Caesar. Well, I won't spoil it then. He's not like the leader of Caesar's Legion that's long accepted and like running with an iron, ruling with an iron fist or anything. That's not at all what his character is up to. But he is a member of Caesar's Legion and he's got a small role. It was cool to see him there as that cameo. I thought season two is really good because New Vegas is my favorite Fallout. So going to New Vegas and seeing the strip

for anybody who's putting the hours in that game, you immediately recognize like the signage and the architecture and really specific nitty gritty things that were callbacks to the game. The trailer of Fallout 4 there's a scene where they just play

it almost acted out in the show. The death claws look good. I like that black brother of steel guy. He has a great triumphant moment where he gets to show up with a power armor suit and save the day. And Walton Goggins is killer as a ghoul cowboy. It's a good season. It's easy to like play fallout.

And when you're like a badass video game character, you can be like, no, I'm not going to join the first group I find because that guy who's piloting the blimp, they're handing out armor suits. I'll wait until we get there and get an armor suit. But in real life, the first gaggle of people that were like, hey, you want to join. the Caesar's Legion, you get a sword eventually. It's like, I mean, I got to join a team. Like I got to, and then only later would you be like, oh, fuck. There was a, there was a whole team of iron giants right over there. Yeah, you know, I joined the, yeah, Kaiser's Legion is the worst.

They really are like horrific, horrible people. Like I, you'll walk around. And they don't have power suits, right? No, they've got like hockey pads. Like, you'll walk around and everything is like, Roman Legion style and there's even Latin but you'll walk around their camp

and all the slaves are like talking about how they get raped and like beaten and murdered and they're like they're like walking around wearing like potato sacks with like holes cut at them and they're carrying an impossible load on their back like up and downstairs for no reason

it's an old RPG it's 14 years old so like they're not going anywhere they're just always going up and down those stairs and they've got like, it's like a cartoonish load on their back of just like junk that they're like hoisting up and down the stairs. They're pretty evil. Yeah, I'm not joining. I would want to wait for the team with the best shit the same way. Like if I came across the railroad people in Fallout 4, I'd be like, you guys haven't even picked up the bones in your like in your HQ.

You guys are, you guys suck. Like this is. Their HQ is in a Crip, to be fair. Well, tidy up, brother, because there's a, there's a bunch of guys in like white lab coats out there with phasers, and then there's a bunch of guys

really going hard in the paint with metal, iron giant suits, shooting rockets that, like they're free. I use a mod that turns the headquarters of each of the main factions in Fallout 4 into, like, a respectable, cleaned up, built up, like, armored, protected, like thing.

and in every case like they completely redo the Pridwin for the Brotherhood of Steel they completely redo the Brotherhood or the railroad hideout all that stuff. The mods are great. Even on Xbox you can just go into the

creation studio. You're not swayed by George Clooney to isn't he the voice? Oh, Max? There's no way that's George Clooney. The first brotherhood guy you run into, isn't that George Clooney

where he's like, you watch my back? Yeah. I, if it is, I never noticed it. Does George Clooney? If not, then he's a George Clooney sound alike. Man, if you're right about this, I'm going to be mind boggles. No, he does not.

Oh. Who does Lieutenant Dance, who voice? It's Paladin Dance. Thank you very much. He earned that rank. In the blood trials. Damn. I don't know who voices him, but it's not him.

Peter Jess up. It sounds just like him. That was the first thing I noticed when he starts talking is he sounds exactly like fucking George Clooney. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit. I don't like that one. I'm hoping the new one is good. The show is why they have kicked Bethesda's ass

into gear and they have like they're in development on three different projects right now on the game side. They're making remasters of New Vegas and Fallout 3 and they're making a brand new fallout. People have dubbed it. New Vegas 2, but that's only because they have tapped

Obsidian Studios once again to make the game. Same studio who made New Vegas. Bethesda didn't make that one. But there's no indication that it will just be a New Vegas 2, or that it'll be in the desert, or that it'll be a direct sequel to any one game. It's supposed to be pushing new Alder Scrolls, but who knows? They tweeted about that too. They talked about that they're still on that, and they talked about some

recommitment to it, and they gave a full. progress sort of update. I think they mentioned that they're already playing some test build of the Elder Scrolls game, the new one, or something like that. Maybe I misremembered, but they had this, Bethesda had this long tweet, like paragraphs and paragraphs where they sort of laid out a roadmap for what was coming in the next year or two. Next year or two. Well, several years. Fingers crossed. Yeah. Oh, it'll be. We might get all that before GTA, six. Have they backed off at all or is that still late next year?

It's still coming. I think it's November 18th. So it's only two months away. But I think that they've backed off in the scope of it. I've heard there's no online multiplayer. Of course there's no PC. It's just a, it seems like they're releasing a console RPG at first, which is un-interesting to me. But it's going to own the gaming landscape.

so I don't know I don't know where I see it. It would have to really botch it to not to be enormous. Like it would, it's going to be enormous. But it would really have to fuck up for it not to be like a longstanding game. I bet that they fuck it up.

I hope not. Kyle has an argument that doesn't sit well with me. It's usually like it's so important that they do this well. They'll definitely do it well. And I'm like, uh, lots of important things. People fuck it up.

They've never missed before. everyone's a banger redbed redemption games both of those bangers all-time goaded favorites there's not a granddadder game that people think grand theft daughter one two three and four and five are all highly regarded well maintained well supported game of the year type games that are no one has a problem with any of those games none of them had overwhelming glitches or bugs none of them had predatory monetization uh i don't know i just believe in rockstar are. Like, this is what they do.

They make billions. They make games that cost more than the Virch Khalifa, and they make them well. I'm looking forward to it. The reason I've been playing Fallout and, like, UFC and stuff on console instead of PC, is like controller prep for GTA. So you can adjust

to that 60 FPS, downgrade your reflexes. Yeah, I think it's, yeah, I don't know what it's going to be, how many frames I'll actually get? My TV can do a lot of frames. It does like 144 or something. And the Xbox on a lot of games can do

over 100 frames, but I don't know if, I think GTA may be locked at 60 or something, or maybe 30. Maybe it's locked at 30. It's something awful. I don't care. As long as,

I'm going to buy it for Xbox, as long as it's a fun game. The thing about GTA 5, that was a little disappointing, is the story mode goes by way too quickly. And then it's, it's buoyed. by the GTA online

and also the fact that it's just fun to drive around freestyle mode and just cause problems and like blow up buildings and you know drive through sidewalks and just wrap up to five star before you do it super fast I googled it 30 frames per second on

Xbox locked yeah and then PS5 Pro I think won't be locked but then the rendering there is is sort of a downgraded rendering system or something so it sounds like you're trading quality or fidelity for frames it says 30 on this this is google a i which we all know gets wrong a lot but um they're saying 30 frames per second there too

there might be a future update with a 60 frames per second performance mode yeah i'm almost positive that the ps5 pro has a better fps than the xbox either it's not locked or it's something better whatever it is it's not going to be more than 60 yeah higher higher resolutions and enhanced graphical graphical fidelity and ray tracing using

PSSR upscaling but not 60 frames per second yeah but it's all guessing at this point you know what I would love I hope it looks fine I hope it doesn't get stuttery I hope that running it on my Xbox I don't get like holy shit are we getting 15 frames right now if it's

juttery and stuttery that's a fail. That would be a huge problem. But I wish we could play online co-op. This game has two protagonists. You've got a guy and a girl and I would love to play the guy and you could be like my girlfriend, Taylor. You could be her and we could be going doing this Bonnie and Clyde kind of run together. Sure. Yeah. Let's do it. I'm going to fuck. And we go fuck. There's only two in this game. There were four in the, or no, three and five. Yeah, it's just two, I believe.

It's the guy and the girl. So you're either one of them. The guy looks so much like, what's his name? Who's the UFC fighter that's the champion right now that you hate? Strickland? Yeah, the main protagonist of GTA 6 looks just like Sean Strickland. And the girl's hot. There's no confirmed sex scenes, but I'm with you, Kyle.

They're going to be there. You know what? There is confirmed? Gay pride parades. In GTA? Oh yeah. I wonder if anyone will hate it. No, no, no.

That's the meme. It's like leftists when they hear that there are gay pride parades in GTA 6 and they're smiling. And it's like right wingers when they hear their gay pride parades in GTA 6 and they're smiling. I see it. I see it. I see it. I just imagine like pulling up and you're like, can't come through here, sir. gay pride parade ahead and it's just like

hum he like put your goggles on you must not have noticed that I've got five stars above my head I'm not stopping for anyone I'm blasting through I know there's a gay bribe ray that's why I came in a bulldozer that's why I'm here yeah I mean if

if you're going to play GTA honorably you have to be an equal opportunity criminal blast through crowds whether it's a gay pride parade or a Charlottesville, just blast through all of them. Is that the opposite? I don't know.

I did a Mail Monday once over GTA 5 footage, and I'm not really into Grand Theft Auto. I didn't know, like I didn't play it like they wanted me to. I obeyed every traffic law. Like I'm doing Mail Monday, just waiting at red lights for it to turn green, driving around casually. It worked beautiful. Other YouTubers were talking about it.

Everyone was, like, the comments went wild over it. And it was just the most boring driving school footage ever. You're like obeying like no right on red here. Exactly. I watched the YouTuber doing videos for GTA and he stalks NPCs

just to see what they'll do. Like he follows them around for hours to see like, where's this guy going on the road? This guy's on the road. I've done that during road trips. It's like, where everybody's going? We're all going different. Where are you going?

And this guy did that in GTA. He's like, where are you going? And he just follows them for hours. And like, after a while, they start getting annoyed with it, they notice you've been following them for too long. Sometimes they like glitch out and they go to a parking lot and start doing circles. Like, they do weird things, the way the AI works in that game.

They don't have really a place to go. I don't know why. Almost like a named character. why can't your video game use an AI engine to to like create its NPCs in real time? Like why can't the game have an NPC that is, and the NPC is basically like I told Chat, GPT, hey, you're an NPC now. Your name is Gregor and you sell armor next to the tavern and Holgriff. Now, your wife is missing, but you're not going to want to bring that up until we've known

each other for a while, you'll keep that tight lift. Unless my charisma is above eight, of course. Now, and then you just walk it through that, and then the, yeah, goes, I am Holgrove. Hello there, traveler. Welcome to my armory. Like, why can't you do that?

And have every NPC be this continuously learned, like, fuck recording voice lines, fuck having, like, just three possible responses and three possible questions. What if I could ask the NPC how his day is going or if he's seen any good game in the region recently

or something like that and he can go to his files and be like actually there is an albino deer outside in the forest oh yes I saw the white stag just recently like that'd be great to wait for GTA 7 for that

which pro-rated none of us will live to see no earlier than 2050 What happens first? We land back on the moon or the next GTA comes out? GTA 7. Oh, I might have to go moon on this one.

I'm going moon on that one. People back on the... We might have like a Matt Damon guy growing potatoes on Mars when they're like telling us, sorry, it's going to be 2016. I don't know. The last GTA was how many years? 12? Is that 2011?

Is that right? No, was it 2015 or 2011? Something like that. No, Skyrim was 2011. it may have been 2013 13, okay so it was 13 years

long time do I think we're going to the moon in the next 13 years we are 100% they've you know we've kicked at that football before and they've they've pulled it away yeah I mean we did loop around it recently

right with people in it yeah nobody nobody step back down but it just feels like that mission is a precursor to the landing It's just like before It's one of the early stages They move so slow

Yeah And like they're now in the same position as like I'm gonna say no I'd take GTA first Where like if we go back to the moon People might be like now No you waited too long You should be met up by now

I think we're going to make a spaceship That launches a landing ship That goes to the earth And then returns back to the spaceship Yeah they'll do a lander They've already got all that stuff. They have a lander? Yeah.

Yeah, but it doesn't count unless there's people. Show the new landers. You know, I'm talking about the old one with the slide rule, right? No, no, no, no, no. I think SpaceX may have made it. There's a new lander. Oh. The new lander, apparently goes to space.

New, new space suits, new, new lander, new delivery vehicle. But they're so close to Earth. Yeah, they're lower Earth orbit. I think most shit's in lower Earth. In the grass to be like, if this was a beach ball, maybe one grain of sand off the surface and the moon was way over there. Not a rendering on the planet, dude. God damn it, that.

Well, I mean, we don't have real pictures of it on the planet. That thing's really big. It's bigger than I expected. Way bigger than the other lander. Yeah. Yeah. Do they have like a mock up for a lander? Do they not?

I thought they did. This is going to be like a fucking concept car shit that never comes true. Well, I mean, I think Uncle Sam is signing the check. So you might, this is. Uncle Sam's out of money. And they'll cash the checks. Uncle Sam spent all their money in Iran. The checks still cash, Woody.

That's all that matters. We'll just keep going in more and more debt. 41 trillion. Give it time. 42 trillion. Yeah. And we'll just keep going on. 43.

I think we're going to five years. Going to five years because I think China's trying to go and we're trying to like do another space race with China. I think we beat them again. I think we go in the next five years for sure. They're going to build that moon habitat. I'm going to be living on the moon, a little moon base. You said there is no reason to do that. There is no reason to do that.

Well, there's reasons to do that. It's a flex. There's this material called helium-3 that the moon is rich in that's believed to be a key fuel for fusion energy if we ever figure that out. So it also seemingly, I don't know if I want China up there with a base on the moon, without us also with a base on the moon,

keep an eye on their base on the moon. You know what I mean? It feels like it becomes. their moon if they were inhabiting it. Yeah. If there's like, there are now 3,000 Chinese on the moon. They're calling it China moon. I'd be like, no, they're not.

That's America moon. Is our flag still there? Well, it's all white now. It's a white flag. It doesn't look like you think. What if they were like, plant your flag where you want? You are only visitor here. We tear your flag down tomorrow. And like, what if they did? What if, what if, like, we do our moon landing, we're happy? We, we, we

We kick the beach ball. We hit a golf club. We scoot around a little on our scooter. Then we go home. And the next week they upload a video where they just like kick our flag down. Like we live here. We live here. You plant your flag in my backyard.

Well, I don't know how good they are. They take our flag down. I want to take that damn down. What if they've got that picture that like Neil Armstrong took up there of his family? And they're like, oh, Neil Armstrong, you think he'll pick your last for eternity. Whoops. What are they tear up Neil Armstrong's family's picture or whatever?

It's probably all shitty by now. I'm thinking of. I don't remember the name. Three rivers. Three gorges or something. Yeah. I think you're right. People don't know.

There's a dam in China. If you take it out, like 400 million people die or something outrageous. They go up there with a broom and they're like sweeping up all in Neil Armstrong's footprints. They see this last 200 million years. Ha ha ha ha ha. They just sweep it. it all up. You couldn't stand for it. We've got to put boots on the ground, Woody. We've got to send men up there. Moon men. Space Force cadets. Bread for this.

Well, I mean, then they got to get to stepping. You know what? If I was an astronaut, I work a little side deal. Like, hey, hey, hey, Nike. I will use my finger to draw Nike in a swoosh in the sand for one million, two, five million dollars, five million dollars. I bet they paid that to have Nike. on the moon. Where Nike's made, buddy? Oh, he charged one million. I charge one dollar.

He's still of 10 million swooshes today. That's what happened. That's how the Chinese do. That's why we just on the ground. I swear, you talk to Coca-Cola and be like, bro, it'd be nothing for me to write Coca-Cola in the sand up there. You got to write it so big, though, for us to see it, you know? You're going to see it.

It'll be the most famous picture ever taken. What, does Coca-Cola, like, pissed into the, the side of the dirt on the moon. Okay, I don't know if I pay for pissed in the moon, but that is kind of funny. Oh, I would pay extra for piss. Oh, maybe they pay for... Oh, yeah.

Then you'd have ED for the rest of your life. What would happen if you pulled your dick out on the moon? I guess it depends if you're in the, the hot part of the cold part, but nothing good. Probably unpleasant because it's like... You know, I think from the vacuum of space, it's going to, like, start inflating.

Oh, this might be, like, This might be some sort of an enlargement technique. Yeah, I don't know about you. My dick is actually kind of built to inflate. You ever see when they take marshmallows and they put them in a container and then they suck all the air out and the marshmallows get huge? Yeah. That could happen to your cock in space. That is literally what those vacuum pumps do, right?

Yeah. Yeah, you would need to create a vacuum. Yeah, but if you make any sort of hole or undo the zipper on your moon suit, I think that's, I think you're going to just rapidly die in other ways, right? I don't know. Like you might start suffocating before you can even get to peeing. The suffocation isn't the problem. It's the decompression, I think, being in a vacuum and what that does to all the dissolved gases in your blood and all the surface liquid.

Like the liquid on your eyeballs would immediately boil. For example. That's a negative. Because like your mouth would immediately boil. Like any liquid would boil. and then all the, I would imagine that the, again, the dissolved gases in your blood would start undissolving. And if you had any air in your lungs, like if you took a deep breath and then you opened your suit, I think your lungs would explode. I think the pressure difference, maybe not explode.

It would be bad. It would be really bad. I don't know exactly what would happen. All sci-fi movies always do something different. I asked chat GBT, what would happen? If I unzip the fly on my imaginary space suit while on the moon. Air would rush out of your suit towards the vacuum. The pressure around your body would drop almost instantly.

You wouldn't explode, despite what movies often suggest, your skin and connective tissue are strong enough to keep you intact. What you would experience, this is a new word to me, ebullism? Emboosal. There's no M though. Ebullism. I'll show you this word. I bet Taylor knows it because he knows them all.

Extremely low pressure, water in your exposed tissues and bodily fluids begin to vaporize. I think that's ebullism. You'll likely remain conscious for 10 to 15 seconds, potentially longer depending on circumstances, before losing consciousness from lack of oxygen. That seems quick. I can hold my breath more than 15 seconds, but okay. After one or two minutes, severe injury or death would be expected without repressurization. Your body would swell significantly, but it wouldn't freeze.

instantly. Heat transfer through the vacuum is relatively slow. You'd lose heat primarily through radiation rather than air convection. Okay. So I think it goes a little hard on the no air. Ten seconds. Jesus. Anyone can hold the breath that long. I don't think you can ask it this. What happens if I hold my breath in a vacuum? Or what happens if I hold my breath and then take my helmet off in space? because I'm wondering what happens to the volume of air in your lungs that was presumably at like 14 and a half PSI or something

when you inhaled it. Okay, I think it has the answer you're looking for. Holding your breath will make the situation worse, not protect you, as I think you knew. The air in your lungs is still at one atmosphere, while the outside is essentially a vacuum. The pressure difference would call the air in your lungs to expand violently as it tries to escape. If you would keep your airway closed, your lungs could suffer from barrow trauma slash rupture. You would not be able to safely hold the air in.

If you open your mouth and let the air escape, you'd avoid much of the lung overpressure problem, but you'd rapidly lose oxygen and consciousness. Within roughly 10 to 15 seconds, again, you'd lose consciousness from hypoxia. Prolonged exposure would be fatal unless you were repressurized. Yeah, that's what I thought. So you can't hold your breath. you have to not only would you attempt if you were going to be depressurized to blow all the air out of your body and probably curl up into a ball. But once the depressurization happened, it would suck the air out of your anyway.

Like it would be, I don't know if you've ever vacuum sealed something and see how it like draws all the moisture even out of a steak. But like it would do that to you. Yeah, it would be pretty terrible. I don't think it's ever happened. We shouldn't do that. I don't think it's ever happened to anyone. I'm sure there's been like, on earth, there's been incidents with vacuum chambers.

The Nazis, I think, maybe put people in vacuum chambers. I asked another question, which I found interesting, maybe the audience will. I asked it, why would I lose consciousness so quickly? Anyone can hold their breath longer than 10 to 15 seconds. I can stay underwater for a minute. Let's call that an estimate. It says, yes, the distinction is oxygen pressure

versus oxygen content. You can hold your breath underwater for a minute because your lungs remain at roughly one atmosphere of pressure. When your blood continues receiving the oxygen already dissolved in your lungs and blood. In the vacuum, your lungs decompress, your lungs can no longer transfer oxygen effectively. Your blood still contains oxygen. This is important so you don't instantly go unconscious. The oxygen already in your blood gets consumed.

Now, that ties into my Brazilian jitju experience. You can get choked out in like three seconds, two seconds. especially if you're working really hard. If you sat down at a hotel lobby and I put a good choke on and take a little longer, but if we were like wrestling leading up to the choke, two seconds gets it done. So I can totally see how this is closer to that hotel lobby thing. We're like 10 to 15 seconds and you're gone.

Yeah. Everything about space is so hellish. Just a terrible, terrible place. There's nothing but darkness and death out there. It's not cool. stay on Earth. Some of those early Soviet cosmonauts were on such, I saw

like a documentary about it the other day, like the conditions in that thing. There was one crew that was hearing knocking outside the spaceship while they were in orbit. That could have been a prankster. Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably one of the dogs they sent him before. Is Gregor, outside ship. We know as you, Gregor.

They knew because he went, bump, papa, bump, bump. Wait a minute. That's not alien. don't answer him back. I wonder how essential astronaut decision making is on the space flights

overtime, right? So I saw this argument where astronauts were like, I'm the reason we made a man on the moon. It was my heroics and this and that. And the guys from Houston are like, fuck you. You didn't do anything. It took us a long

time to decide to replace you with monkeys and all you did is sit in the seat while the guys downstairs did all the intelligence work. Intelligent work. There's been times where that wasn't true. I agree, yeah, right? Is Apollo 11, the one where they kind of say? Apollo 13.

When they did the burn to do the reentry burn, they're getting close to the return trip to Earth, and they took a grease pin, and they drew a triangle on the window, and they put the Earth in the triangle, and then the guy behind him hit the fucking gas with what little fuel they have pulling like multiple Gs.

I don't know what the acceleration was like but like nothing you've ever experienced and he has to with little mini retro rockets keep the earth inside the triangle while they burn all of their fuel by the way there's no more. They're burning it all and he did it. The guys who landed on the moon

like bringing that thing down that I saw this thing about. about what their heart rates were, because they have all that monitor. You can see Neil Armstrong's, like, is it called a cardiograph? You can see his heartbeat. As he fucking rockets toward the surface of the moon,

balancing this jiggle wage, keeping it right. I think he had, I think the other guy was piloting, and Neil took over for him because his heart rate got too high, and Neal's was staying low or something like that. I don't remember the exact story, but that's like Air Force pilots doing Air Force pilot shit. A friend of mine was,

an army helicopter pilot. He flew a Kiowa. It's a discontinued helicopter. But here's the interesting part that made me think of it. The way that they calibrate it, they have missiles that shoot out next to the landing gear. And I always assume there were like fancy helmets

or like some sort of Apache level like electronics. No. What you do is you shoot one and then use a grease pin on the window where it landed and now put the grease pen on the target and shoot the next one. we need a better system

meanwhile like the Apache has that helmet where when he looks left the gun looks left yeah yeah yeah like the gun is track or they have that thing in the the F35s and 22s I think where like when they look down they don't see their lap they see through the fucking

aircraft like to what's below it like the helmets for the F35 are like multiple hundred thousand dollar helmets his job was an interesting one He would fly over battles in like Iraq and stuff and just be like, I guess the intelligence of them. He'd look at what they were doing. He'd occasionally shoot, but often like direct targets like, you know, you guys need to head west. You've got trouble on your east.

You got this year. And he just coordinate all the people. He was like the, that's what he did. And the firing from his helicopter wasn't its big, wasn't what it did well. It was particularly quiet. And it could fly like. almost to the point where they could throw baseball at you before you heard it. And that's an interesting job.

But now drones do it better. I heard an interesting thing about the first goal for recently. In the days leading up to it, the U.S. was mounting their forces in Kuwait. And it was clear that they were going to go any day now. And they had kept like, I don't remember how many aircraft it was, but they had put like a thousand aircraft in the air making this big loop. like in the region, out of Iraqi airspace, and they had them going for like a week or 10 days or two weeks or something,

so long that the Iraqis were like, that's what American air traffic looks like. It's just a thousand planes in the air all the time. Okay, no worries. So then once the Iraqis were used to with there being a thousand planes in the air, they attacked with a thousand planes in the air, and it didn't ring any bells at first. That whole, that may be our last good win.

That may be our last good win. This Venezuela thing, that's minor league stuff. I'm not counting that one. The first Gulf War, what was it called? Operation Desert Storm. Desert Storm was the last good W. I guess Desert Shield got its job done too, maybe. I forget.

But it's this. Listen, the easy part of any war. The part where America says rah, rah, rah, and waves its flags is when you break shit. but it's not really a win unless the enemy agrees with you and like that didn't happen in Iraq very like maybe very how did we win in Iraq we took out Saddam so that's a win but then there was all that civil war and unrest and like Iraq wasn't what we wanted it to be for the next 15 20 years it still isn't

hard to call it a big W we didn't accomplish the goals we set out yeah when Iran starts they wanted the same sort of fanfare. Oh my God, look at all the shit we broke. Oh my God, there's so much broken shit and Iran. And Iran is like, yeah, we don't care. Go ahead. Do you break another hotel? It's like 14 or something.

I think it's really low. Oh, I think it's hundreds. Wait, I'm talking about deaths. I think casualty includes injuries. Let's see. Let's do deaths. How many U.S. dead? I thought it was in the teens as well.

Maybe I'm out of date. I haven't been plugged in. Oh, they say only 18. And I read something the other day. that had a very high number. A casualty includes any person who's killed, injured, wounded, or unable to return to work or a fight. So you may have seen a big casualty number. And I used to think casualty meant death too, so I'm not fussing.

That's what I did. Yep, yeah, yeah, but 600. Yeah, well, maybe we'll win the great moon war, Kyle. I hope we'll win the moon war. I hope we're prepared for that. Our guns still work up there. I was about to ask that. I was like, Kyle's totally going to know.

The guns I have, nothing special, right? The Smith and West and M&P 9, AR-15. There are no guns that won't work up there. Hmm. None of them, I guess, because oxygen is they would have built into the gunpowder, right? Yes. Somehow, your oxygen crystals, that shouldn't do you think. Here we are.

It's like dilythium crystals. Same concept. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, don't, you don't have to tell me. I already know, obviously. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's built right into the gunpowder. Yeah, the guns will work fine.

I'm not a science person But they work better They'd work better because there's no air up there So there's no drop You turn your AR-15 into a laser rifle now I'd have to fix my scope I don't know what the velocity would be Oh that's a good chat GPT

Ask chat GPT What would the velocity of A 556 rifle be in space Because that I don't know I have no idea Because I know here on Earth you know, it's like 2,800 feet per second roughly. But like, in space, there's no air, obviously.

It would leave the barrel at its normal muzzle velocity. So I guess it doesn't slow down very much in the barrel. And then like you said, the interesting part is what happens after it leaves the barrel. On Earth, air resistance rapidly slows a bullet on the moon. There's virtually none. So it would be being close to its initial velocity for a long time. I think he would have. if you fired it horizontally,

this is on the moon, gravity would gradually curve its trajectory towards the lunar surface, but because the moon is small, the bullets moving, it could travel a surprisingly large distance before hitting the ground. I wonder if it'd be possible

with like the tech we have to do Newton's cannon. I talked about this a little bit with like satellites, where you're actually like just a shoulder-mounted rifle, but it shoots so fast that its drop rate is about equal to the curvature of the moon and just stays at the same distance.

Then you could like, we'd have our soldiers like looney tunes in themselves and they'd shoot and it would come all the way around. Hit them in the back. The escape velocity of the moon. Probably not that much. It is 5,300 miles per hour. That's too much. That's too much.

so you couldn't just fire up into the air doesn't seem to be so no no I like that that's one of my favorite parts of for all mankind I know you haven't seen that show Taylor but it's very patriotic show

you get the Urah feelings you get to see a better America like genuinely you see like the America you wish we were you see that like oh no you won't we'll work twice as hard and get twice as smart

we'll do it we'll die to do it Like you get a lot of that with these spacemen. The Soviets beat us to the moon and we don't take that lying down. We keep going. And eventually there's moon bases. The Soviets put their little moon base up there and we put our moon base up there. There's guns up there. There's like a little bit of unrest.

Like I think there's a part where... There might be something good up there. So otherwise we're just fighting over dog shit. This Newton's canon thing is kind of cool. Okay. So a 556 travels at about a thousand meters per second. the space needed for a low lunar orbit this is like shoulder mounted orbit

is 1680 meters per second I wonder if like a 50 cal gets 1680 and could just orbit the air you could shoot yourself in the back that's the question to ask how fast the 50 gal doesn't shoot faster significantly than a 556

the fastest rifles that I can think of or getting closer to like 4,000 feet per second. But my understanding is that you go much faster than 4,000 feet per second, and the projectile comes apart from the air resistance. You don't have that to worry about in space, though. You can pump as much power as you want as long as the materials can handle it, I guess, the barrel and such. Fastest rifle round. Let's just see what we would need.

Or if we even have the tech. A 220 swift. Ah, shucks. It goes about 1250 meters per second. so it's not quite there maybe if you aimed up you could shoot yourself in the back there's not a lot of air resistance

it travel that far there's some math to figure this out it's literally orbital mechanics I think yeah this is beyond me but chat GPT should be able to figure it out like I like the question of like how fast would the rifle round need to be

going and what angle would I need to fire it at from the from the equator of the moon firing west for the bullet to hit me in the back Like, that's an interesting little math problem. Yeah, the fastest factory loads I could find was the 204 Ruger, which goes 4,400 feet a second. That's really fast. Like, what's the 204 Ruger?

204 Ruger, 24 to 322 grain, up to 4,400 feet per second. Often the highest factory velocity available today. Yeah, that's insane. Oh my gosh. I can't give you the aiming angle to make a projectile come back at you because that would provide instructions for a potentially lethal act. On the moon? You can't.

Come on. The safety's built into this for shooting on the moon. This is a science experiment. I'm not on the moon. We're all good. Please continue. I'm saying something similar to that. Yeah, what a stupid...

That thing going 4,400 feet per second is ungodly, though. Like, that's... I didn't know there were... I didn't know you could buy stuff like that. I bet you could reload ammo for it. They would go even faster. You can... When you reload your own ammo,

you're able to make some really hot rod stuff. Like 5,000 feet per second? Like 4,000 feet per second. Like, like, the thing... The fact that that's going 4.4. 4,400 feet per second is shocking to me. I didn't know that that could be done. I asked as well.

Let's see if Grock has a safety mechanism in it for not shooting yourself in the back on the moon with a hypothetical rifle around. Yeah. No, that would be great. Remember the movie Moon with Sam Rockwell when he's on the moon mining? He's mining helium-3 and sending it back.

It's a real thing that's there. Well, we better be sure it's worthwhile before we start throwing moon bases up there. need to do a little test. We can't, is helium three on the moon the cheapest way to get it? Apparently, there's a norm. It's like made of helium three or something. I don't know, there's a lot of it there.

I don't know. I'm like, couldn't we just take some regular helium, like get three of them and smush them? I mean, I don't know scientists, but this is really working for me. Here's three heliums all taped together. All right. According to Grock, you would need a bullet going 5,510 feet per second. And then you could fire it horizontally parallel to the local lunar surface. And it would come around and strike you in the back potentially.

If you can achieve that, can't you just aim it up and make it back to its starting point? That's the part I'm stuck on. I think the angle of escape is part of the problem. It's going to require more velocity if you go at a steeper angle. It gave me the velocity. you're wanting to go in the opposite direction of the rotation of the planet. That's what I'd do.

I don't know if that matters. How fast is the moon rotating? Is that tightly locked? Right. In the same way that if I'm in a river flowing downstream, I can swim in it and not really care about what's happening to the ground and trees around me.

Yeah. Well, if any of you guys listening, go to the moon. Be careful what angle you fire your firearms because it could come around a day or two. This says fire exactly horizontally at this speed of 5,510 feet per second, and the bullet stays at constant altitude equal to the lunar radius.

After one full orbit, a period will take one hour and 48 minutes. It returns to the same point from the opposite direction and hits you in the back. But that's not the question because it's an imaginary speed. Like since we don't have anything that travels that far, I want to know, can I just tilt it up and make it like go a little farther? Obviously, it won't go forever. It'll eventually return to the moon's surface, but can't angling it up

overcome the fact that it'll hit the ground too early? Let's see. Visit BetMDMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, Peace contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. I don't know. I asked what ankle would you need to shoot the rifle if it's only a 4,400 feet per second projectile. Perfect. I like your phrasing. And so we will see it may give us a good answer.

Do you have to just paper rock? I have like Twitter premium, and so it comes with that. But I think you get the like lower version of it for free. That's what Chachybt does. I'm unfamiliar with the better versions. One thing that I do get stuck on with my free version is if I use pictures in my questions, the back and forth ends really fast. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I haven't used it to make silly pictures in a long time. It doesn't make it. Like I was debugging a mouse, no, a keyboard profile not saving. And I'm like, this is what I'm looking at. And they're like, oh, that's actually really helpful. I'm done talking. I'm like, fuck.

Okay, I got an answer. It says, on an airless spherical body, any trajectory with speed less than circular orbital velocity at the surface will have a periapsis, lowest point inside the moon. Giving the bullet an upward positive elevation angle does not change this. The specific orbital energy is still too low, so the elliptical path still intersects with the lunar surface, long before completing a full revolution. The bullet will follow a long ballistic arc and eventually hit the moon somewhere downrange

and possibly far over the horizon, but it cannot circle the moon and return from behind. In short, 4,400 feet per second is simply too slow. Even the absolute fastest practical rifle rounds fall short of the 5,510 feet per second threshold required for a surface grazing circular orbit. So we just don't have the technology yet. Yeah, yeah.

I think Chad GPT was trying to tell me something simpler, didn't phrase it as plainly. And it's, you know, nine paragraphs. I'm trying to scan for the purposes of the show. It's a lot. Same. Yeah.

Often you ask the question. It's like you don't need to write me a fucking book on this. Like just a couple bullet points, please. Thank you. Afficiency in your words, please. Tighten this up. Tighten it up.

Man, Chad GPT's got to lose the, that's so funny to be like, I don't feel comfortable answering this, shooting yourself in the back on the moon question. Yeah. potentially lethal act. It's an almost

if we can pull it off, it's an almost certainly lethal act first of all. Like it's going to strike you going different topic. 5,500 feet per second. I hope I didn't use this one already. What is the saddest fictional death ever?

Did we do this? Well, when Dobby died and Harry Potter, spoiler. Okay, okay. We all cried in that theater, man. I was tearing up. I looked at my girlfriend. She was crying.

Did he die saving somebody? Absolutely. Saved everybody. Save the main cast of the show of the movie, you know, the main trio there. Gave his life. Jumped in front of a dagger. Belatrix Lestrange threw out of him. And then he used some Dobby magic to beat those people up a little bit,

embarrass them, and then whisked Harry Potter away to safety. I'll tell you, it's a little relevant you bring this up. Because just this week, they were trying to build. a pipeline there on that same beach where Dobby was laid to rest fictually and where his grave still remains in reality. And there was such an uproar that

Dobby's fictional grave was going to be upended. They moved the pipeline. Some like 50 billion dollar oil pipeline. This is where Dobby lies. I know it's absurd. I kind of like that they're like, you know what? We can shift this 10 feet.

It's not going to ruin the project and it's going to make a lot of people happy. People care. Let's just do that. That's insane. That's to be like a bunch of people on probably Reddit being like, they're going to build a pipeline over Dobby's grave. And it's like,

Kyle back me up here on the same team. It's a good idea, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was one of those people. You were on there? I spoke up. This thing is a, it's a $577 million dollar undersea power cable project from a,

and it was going to cut through a fan memorial for Dobby, the house elf, on freshwater West Beach and Wales. And no longer, we put an end to that. Good. Have you ever seen that quote from like the Iranian former president who died, where he was like, of course they can kill Kameni and our warriors and our leaders. We cannot do the same to America. Their heroes are Harry Potter and SpongeBob.

Making fun of I have two And one I might be wrong on But Iron Giant was my go-to As soon as I saw it I was like Iron Giant That's mine The other one that maybe isn't

Was widely thought of When Frosty the Snowman melted That hit a little hard on young Woody Wow He had a long life He was a snowman He did not have a long life Four of Snowman

You know Did you wonder why they couldn't get him to a freezer or something? Like, like, I mean, he's a sentient being. Well, all we need is a cold room. Don't make him live in a prison. That's not what you would want. This isn't like keeping a, this is way easier than keeping a cancer patient alive or somebody on like life support.

We just need a chilly environment. It does seem like an easy kind of life support to create. We could have kept his head in the freezer even. He could have been in that freezer, Rocky boxed in. He'd be fine. Is that a life he would want? Or would we be. Well, winter will come around again.

And it depends where you live. You know what hell it must be for a being made made out of ice to melt and evaporate? That does sound rough. Jesus Christ. I don't want to melt. Imagine if you melted. You didn't think about that, did you, Taylor? The hot summer day, you didn't just sweat.

You just melt it away. You oozed and you melt it. All right, Taylor. We find you a freezer, I promise. Let's hear your fictional character death that you think is sad. That's a terrible one. Frosty's awful. Bambi made, Bambi's my mind.

made me sad as a kid watching that. Christ, boys. How old are we? I mean, as a kid, I'm just trying to remember. You were just defending, moving a pipeline to probably a less efficient location. It's going to cost people money. You're going to a movie made in the 40s, though.

Like, when the Archduke bid it, how did you feel then? Like, was that a rough day for you? Well, I didn't see it in the 40s. I know, but like, what about Mufasa? He's a modern animal. Nothing more modern? All right. Mufus is pretty modern.

Hey, Taylor, you know, I was thinking, I wonder if you thought this too. Isn't Dobby a bitch? He's one of the dumbest characters of all the time. He's like, I've had incredibly powerful magic the whole time that I could have used. And it's like, okay. And then you waited until the absolute last second. And so now you're dead. Not how it worked at all.

I was just like. A project that could bring heat to millions in the night. You're a very good teammate, Dobby. If he played Rainbow's, six with me, we'd kick him off. He's not trying. You know what I would have done if I was Harry Potter the first time Dobby walked in, I'd have been like, too, Jesus. Get that little monster out of here.

Did you just curb stop, Dobby? I didn't know what the fuck it was. No, not only am I not. Is it like a little man? Not only am I not giving you a t-shirt. I'm taking the shorts too. No, get out of here. Give me that filthy cloth he's wearing about you.

Dude, so happy for dirty socks. It's fucking bitch. It's symbolic, God damn it. No, it's gay. It's an allegory about class structure. Oh, right, right. An allegory about class structure.

And meanwhile, it's like, where's our Irish compatriot bombing explosion like things? Where's old Seamus car bomb? Wait, where's my Chinese colleague, Bing Bang. You joke? Her name was Ching Chong. I knew it was something like that.

No, it's, it's Cho Chin. It literally is Cho Chin, I think. I just picture, like, writing that book for the first time just like, just like laughing at all this characters. Of course, the, like, the Irish kid just always blowing himself up. Very subtle. Very, very subtle. Is that a real one? Is there an Irish guy that blows himself up? There's some kid named like Seamus who's always blowing himself up. You know, he blows them up.

Like his cauldron goes off in his face. He gets a smoky face, like a cartoon character. Which is a funny bit. That's a part where he blew up a bus in front of a pro. That's terrific. That and Ching Chang are the two funniest character names. Unless there are others I don't know about. Yeah, the black horror, which is like a wizard police.

His name is Shackleford. I think it's something. I think it's shackle, shackle, something shackle. Shackle bowl? What is it, Zach?

He'll know. He says shackle bolt. He says. Oh, Shackle bowl. It is. Okay. Yeah.

He's shackle bowl. He also said it was Cho Chang. Cho Chang. Cho Chang. You said, Chow chin. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

You're really close, though. Yeah. Yeah. There's only a couple of black kids. There's a couple of Indian kids. There's like an Indian twins. Um, which I don't know.

One of their names about that. Oh, it's, it's been. too long. I could pick them out of a lineup, but I don't remember off the top of my head. Is it the Patel? It is Patel.

It's the Patel twins, of course. That's fair. Come on. Why would it not be? Like, that's a really common name. We've all known a Patel. We've all known one. They're all Patel. It's got to be more common than Smith is here. It's got to be more common than... By the number, sure. There's got to be more Patel than there are anything.

I'm only guessing most popular name in India is going to be Shrinivov. I'll ask. last name like Shrinivas Patel maybe that's John Smith over there yeah but there are like 10 times as many of those as there are oh my god I fucking nailed it first one Shrinovas Shrinivus Patel or you're just doing first name these names work on either side in many parts of India like if your name is Tom Matthew then your kid's name becomes like

John Tom. Like they take your first name as their last. It's fucking stupid. And they, I know they're beating electricity with sticks still. There were probably three Shrinivasas in that video. I had a guy in my swim team. His name was Tom Matthew because he had been in America. His family had been in America long enough to just have English names passed down. His father's name was Matthew something.

Yeah. I've never had good experiences with Indian people. like at restaurants I've ever had in public? Like mostly selling cars to them. That was the first way I was really exposed to like, like I'm sure I'd seen Indian people in public, but I didn't interact with them. Like having to like sit in a car with someone

and talk business with them and their needs and the things that like that make them a specific kind of customer. You're trying to figure out why somebody's here. Like why did you come here today and then use that against them? And he's like, he's there to buy the cheapest possible four wheel

in existence for his son. And like, he ended up buying a van that was on our trade, our auction lot that was about to be auctioned off. It was such a piece of shit. It didn't have air conditioning. And I can still see the sweat rolling off of his face as we sat in a hot van in Atlanta with no air conditioning, roughly idling. And I said, well, I mean, is he going to want a van?

And he's just like, he would have taken the bath. Like, like, just did, had no concern. And he smelled so bad. Were there more? He smelled so bad. Yeah. Ooh, that's not getting out. The odorant thing is one that I experienced.

And, like, a lot of smells. Like, not all of them had deodorant. My Indian co-workers, this is. And these are high-class Indians from, like, well-to-do families in India. The people who, like, became engineers and came, yeah. Not all of them used deodorant and just didn't consider anything. Other people were just, like, unaware of, like, coffee breath exists. and stuff like that.

And I don't know. If they work for me, I'd straighten them out. They were annoying customers, but they weren't always well-informed customers. Their haggling style was often just an ignorant. It came from a place of ignorance. Whereas like a Korean person,

oh my fucking God would they come in with paperwork. You better know your car and know the competitors' car because a Korean customer is going to be schooling you about dual overhead cams or some shit that the Toyota has. Like he knows everything that there is to know. And he knows what the car cost us for the Korean customer. They're annoying for a different reason. Everybody's got their own ways of being annoying, though, I suppose.

Black people are the best. I love selling cars. I sold probably 80% cars to black people, which is, it is Atlanta. There's a lot of black people, but I just vibe with black people and just found them easy to sell cards too. I hate that. Everybody who buys a car.

everybody who buys a car thinks they got a good deal. And when I bought my truck, I often wonder, here's what I did. I came in, I wanted the truck. I found the exact truck in like an online magazine or something. And they said how much you should be paying for it. And that was more, there was a lot less than they wanted me to pay for it. I'm like, this thing here says this is how much I should pay out the door.

And they're like, so if we match that price, you'll buy this truck. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it. I didn't want it. And that's how it went down. Afterwards, they said, hey, there's incentives if you finance it, which I didn't want to do. So I financed the minimum. It was like one grand or five grand and paid it off a month or two later.

And that saved me an extra grand or something like that. Yep. So I just wonder, like, if you just take a magazine in there and say, this is what it says I should pay, did I do well? You did fine. You define. You did fine. The thing is, like, I think we've talked about this before,

but basically they may have made some profit on you. They probably made like $800 or something. But like, didn't they deserve $800 for all the stuff that they did? A and B, isn't $800 worth not having the pull your hair out, hassle argument, like weird fight with the guy that you kind of want to be friends with?

Like, that part of the part of like selling cars is like trying to be friends in two hours and then having an awkward talk with your friend. That's what silly cars is like. It always ends with this. My heart's pounding as I walk back to him because like, this is the part where they find out I'm full of shit.

I always feel like a sheep. I mean, I always feel like a sheep. So the last one I got, I hired a, I paid a guy $800, I think, something close to that. I forget how much it was to just,

I'm like, this is the car we want, go find it close to me, and get me the best price possible. So that's what he did. And I thought he did a good job. That's fair too. Like the way it works though, like the mystique has been gone for a long time. The mystique was leaving when I started in 2005 because of the internet.

Like car sales had kind of been this sort of like you had the manufacturer and then you had the dealer. And there was nothing in between that. You couldn't pierce that veil. You didn't know what a dealer paid the manufacturer for the car necessarily. Like, who's to say what they're in this car for? They're selling it for $32,000. Are they in it for $30 or are they in it for $10? Holy shit, are they only in it for $10?

If I get them just right, would they sell me this car for $10? That's your dream. And then their point was always to hide that. We don't make anything. But then that was gone with the internet. You had edbbbs.com and KBB.com. And you could go on there and not only see what they were being sold for on average in your region.

But if you just talk to the car dealer and he wasn't, you can ask him for the invoice. You can ask him for the invoice for when they bought the car from Ford and you can see what they paid Ford for the car. And then you can just like, all right, well, I don't want you to make any money on this car.

I want you to sell me this car without making a dime. I'm not going to pay this fee. I'm not going to pay that fee. Yes or no. And you just move from there. Once you have the invoice of the truck, there's no negotiation. You decide what they're going to make and that's your bottom line. Like there's no need for the whole

rigamarro or a game. The games only get played with uninformed people and stupid people. The ignorant and the stupid become victims of the car salesmen. And like the like there are some people who are just pretty rich and they're like, I always pay sticker. I just always pay sticker. Who cares?

Like they just always do. There's been whenever that happens, it's like it must be like hitting a whole whole and one. I've never hit a hole one in golf, but just the shock of like, holy shit, it just went in. I was expecting like more to be done here. I was prepared for a lot.

And it's over already. Sometimes you'll hand them the piece of paper. And the paper is so loaded. You've got the price of the vehicle. And then you've added all your bullshit like $1,200 worth of fake shit that I've added. And that sounds good to me. And it's just like, really?

Are you sure? Yeah, whatever. It's nothing to me. Just give me the Lexus for whatever you want. It's a tremendous feeling when you get one of those. Because I know every step of the way how much my paycheck is going to be at different price points in the car. I know what we're in the car for. And I know what I'm trying to sell the car for. I know that this is $8,000 profit.

And I know that I'm getting $2,000 of that, $1,600 of that, depending on how many cars I sell this month. This is a big deal for me. If I can get this guy to sign this piece of paper, I'm about to make $1,600,000 or $2,000, something like that. So when he signs it, it's like, it's addicted. It's like, it's like gambling almost, but you didn't have to put anything up. It's not like these are your cars.

You don't care if you lose money on a car. You just wasted your time. You know, they're the ones that are losing the money. It's a good time. Woody, it sounds like you're back to, like, the money- My hope is that it's fixed by soft pretzels. let's get Woody off the struggle

of the hiccups and we can what is next Tuesday he's still hiccuping Oh my gosh He's like pale Don't curse him Part of my My struggle is between my years I'm like people are going to hate me for having hiccups

I mean they're just going to be so mad And I'm like some will Some will I promise you There's going to be some of the power prayer well no prayed for people prayed for people have better results

in the hospital is that sure then everybody so I'm calling on all of you out there to pray that Woody's hiccups never go away

ever that just as he disregarded the Lord he is so disregarded by the Lord and he hiccups unto eternity unto eternity

unto eternity just like Charles whatever the fuck from three hours I just want you all to take just three seconds out of your day, close your eyes,

bow your heads, and focus on... Studies have found generally no reliable improvement in objective medical outcomes. You're here, folks. He's denied the Lord. And he was just smitten with another hiccup. As the Lord smoke him, so how...

So shall... All right, boys. K.A. 817, you can't overcome the power of my gay straw. We've got to get a link to those frogs down there. That's got to be a sponsor for sure. Oh, yeah. No.