Painkiller Already - PKA 818 W/ Vito: We Learn How Nuts Work

Episode Date: August 22, 2026

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Pain killer already 818 with our guest Vito. Taylor. This episode of PKK brought to you by lock and load. Also everything over at Gorillamine.com. And of course our merch. Check all of that out below. Vito, good to see you. I have to be quiet when you do sponsors because last time you did sponsors,

you had to edit me out. Oh, I forgot. Every time I get a sponsor read, there's like stuff written in red at the top. That's like, do not say this. or we're going to like be calling you and be mad. And you said something like almost verbatim from that. And so I had to make sure Zach, I was like,

I said the best thing about this alcoholic beverage is you can drink it while driving. And you're like, no, you can't say that. We once advertise an electric toothbrush and in big red letters. It's like, do not advertise this as a masturbatory device. What else are we going to say? Come on. Welcome to the show. So I assume you have boxes and boxes of comic.

book's ready to ship behind you is that what i'm looking at uh well you know what no i actually no wait i have yet get out woody this is uh super killer is on the way it's happening it's happening now look this is the black and white this i will be real this is the test print that i got back from the printer to make sure everything looks right but uh it and there's going to be a black there is a color version of the comic that is also being printed but we got the uh we got the test printer back so we're basically wrapping it up. It's happening, baby.

I didn't expect actual progress. I was fucking with you. I deserve to be fucked with it. It is taken way too long. That's my 2024 tax return back there. No, the comics on its way. I'm excited. I actually already have the artists.

We're like halfway through the second one. And then I got a second artist who's working on the third one so we can do them in tandem and you know hopefully get more issues out quicker so what was the original delivery date on the first one the original delivery date was like three years ago then a series of catastrophic errors you would think making a comic book would be easy but when you're a big dumb fat guy who doesn't know what the hell he's doing sometimes it gets side-tracked uh but we are man we are on track now i'm excited Hmm. Outstanding.

Yeah, we're back and we're on time now. We're on time now. Yeah, now it's on time. Coming November. I'll just say this, man, there's so many, there's so many, like, Kickstarter and Indiegogo's where they raise all the money and nothing ever comes out. So I'm like, at least I can feel good that, like, I'm going to get everybody the thing they ordered. It just took way too long.

I remember, like, Zoe Quinn raised, like, $120,000 to do some point-and-click adventure. And then she's just like, I'm going to Japan. I'm having fun. And you're like, you probably should have spent that money making that video game, huh? Kind of based. Yeah. The temptation is there. The temptation to take the money and run is there.

Is the comic book outdated now? Are there like references to the queen dying and like being a heartbreaking event? What will we do? There's a lot of COVID and Black Lives Matter stuff in there. Let's strike while the iron's hot on this show. Nah, man. I think it's, I think it'll hold up. Look, I screwed up.

bad. The problem with making comics though is I was like, man, obviously all this comic stuff is like settled science. Like you can just hire people who know what they're doing. I think you'd like hire a guy to color the comic and then he'd bring it back and go, why'd you make him black? And he goes, I just thought your character should be black. And I go, well, he's

not black. Can you make him not black? He goes, I think we're going to stick with black. I'm like, well, now I'm going to find another guy to color the fucking thing. You got Netflix to color your comic? Yeah, well, that's basically what happened. I was getting a lot of weird work back from people. So my favorite

part about the comic book is that it started, if I recall, with you insulting someone who made a comic book on how terrible their efforts were, right? No, look, that's the narrative everybody always runs with. That's what I remember. I don't make this up. That's the story of the show.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never said that. I think you told me. It is not a spite comic. I did not make a spite comic. I'm almost positive. This is a spike comment. Clip channel, please. Just to post it. what he said back in the day. Go find it. Go find it. But I was working on this before I ever had any sort of interpersonal.

There's a black comic creator named Eric July who famously wanted to sue our podcast for making fun of him. He thought we were interfering in his business and he thought we got a lawsuit against him or whatever. He was making all these weird legal threats against us. And I did get worried for a while because that guy had a lot of money and I'm like, man, a stupid guy. with a lawsuit is a very dangerous fucking thing. They were like, what are you worried about? What are you scared? I'm like, why am I scared about an insane man throwing lawyers

at me? I don't know. That sounds like a pretty scary situation. Thankfully, you never followed through on any of his legal threats. But this was not a spite comic. This is genuinely a passion project. And I deserve, I deserve the scrutiny of, oh,

you thought making comics was easy. It's not easy. I understand. But I'm sticking with it. That's what, you know what? I'm really working on the next couple issues and I'm having a ton of fun doing it. I don't know. You're not going to read it by me. I'm happy.

Like where you wait three years for all of them. Like you're going to, in like stockpile. You're just going to. It has gotten to the part. Yeah. Well, now I watch those videos about how late George R. Martin is and I start to like identify with him. I'm like, it's all right, buddy.

You'll get that book done eventually. I believe in you. No, he won't. No, he won't. He's not even trying anymore. I don't think he is at all. Is he working on a new TV show? He's working on it.

I see him talking about it all the time. I totally think he's getting the next one out, 100%. He's 77. I don't care if he's 87. He's not making it to 87? He's not making it to 79. I bet he makes, I don't know how long he's making it. I can't see the future, but the book comes out for sure.

He gets that book out. The next one comes out. I saw a theory that like he already has it done. and he's just kind of like, well, why don't I just wait to die and then all the books can come out and I don't got to deal with everybody yelling at me about whether they're good or bad, you know?

It's a saw. I like it. It's a reality I wish we lived in. I think the actual reality is he got the bagged retired. Yeah, I think that's... But he's still making Game of Thrones stuff. Like, he has... I think he's like, you know, they have the new show, Dunkin Egg, the hedge

night. He's writing him up. Yeah, I think he's like, oh, I'm writing more hedge night stuff and you're like well why don't you go write the fucking book everybody's waiting for forever it's crazy yeah he should he should realize where the interest is the hedge knight's fine but finish the story i know everybody who just watched the tv show doesn't give a fuck at this point because that was what eight years ago almost nine of that finished but for the people that read all the books come on finish the fucking story is the whole thing is a good point i would like just one more time to hear roy detrice or or or rate another audio book yeah put that

together that are loose. He's alive. Let's see. I know he's dead as I'm saying this. Motherfucker took so long to make his book his cast died. He died almost 10 years ago. He got to see like the entire show. There's no information that we are privy to that he was not at the point of death. So I saw, did you see a quote from George Aramarton like in the last six months where people were

like, are you working on stuff? and like he almost had a William Shatner moment where he's like, I find myself staring into the dark abyss of death any day now. Motivation flees from me. I don't know what I should do. You know, people want this, but I just can't muster the, you know, the work ethic to care. Like that he didn't say work.

Oh, he didn't say that. No, he had a super negative quote. I need to try and find it. Find it for me. I see his interviews all the time and he's explaining like why he thought he would, why his initial timeline turned out bad and why he hopes that he can finish it and how much he's got written and kind of explaining the delays and how he's gone back and filled other stuff in and how it's not fair to give him trouble about working on other projects he's like i'm not taking time away from the main book do these other things just these other things crop up i don't know i need to explain that to my wife honey Listen, I am not taking time away from mowing the yard to play video games.

I swear, I'm doing two things at once, but I can't see any progress on this one thing. Well, I'm playing the game. I'm visualizing the lawn. It's a process. I'm planning the best way to do it. Yes, yes. Yeah, here's his quote. Now, not as negative as I remember, but it's, tell me if this sounds like a man on the cusp of finishing a book.

Where was this from? this is from 17 days ago okay very very current and this is his blog right yeah he wrote in his because he used to blog like every week and now he's like when he updates his blog it's like a big deal so this is a big deal here so he's not doing the blog either this year has been stressful to say the least so much has been happening it's been overwhelming some great things exciting things dreams coming true but there have been nightmares too i have lost friends battled sadness and depression the worst may be yet to come. I turned 77 last September,

and I tell you, getting old is no fun. But there have been many amazing times as well. I suppose that's just life. Of course, I knew that. If you've read my stories, you know that. Then it doesn't seem overwhelmingly possible. Do you think that's a guy who, like,

finished up that blog post and then was like cracking his knuckles back at the typewriter? No. Back to work. No, it's over. Gustav, more ink and paper. Quickly. He's like, hmm, that's. Typewriter or gigantic pool where they bring me cheeseburgers.

I'm going to go to my cheeseburger pool. Did you ever see the video he did with Conan O'Brien where Conan set up a video camera in his house? And he's like, oh, we can check in on George R.R. Martin and all the work he's doing on the book. And that's just George R. Martin jumping in the pool. I had the big fat guy running towards the edge and jumping him. You're like, ah, at least he's having fun. Yeah. Well, he's not finishing that series.

So at least you have that on him for the comic. That really you make him look, you look like Usain Bolt next to George R. Martin getting these projects done. Now that I'm on a roller, now it's a processing line. Now they're just going to start flowing out of me. It's just a conveyor belt of productivity over there.

We're almost at one project completed. And then it's followed by two. Who knows? I'm excited. I have heard that two follows one, but there's no evidence of that. Two and then three. I was working on three last night.

I've been watching Widows Bay with Jackie. Well, that is a great Kyle recommendation, as I call them. But I will say the end of House of Dragon was pretty good. They had a big, they had a big dragon castle battle. They had like the old school stormed the castle battle. And it was kind of the whole episode was storming the castle. It's a lopsided battle. in Game of Thrones.

I assume both sides had dragons this time. I'm not going to spoil the episode because, you know, it's the season finale and everything, but things did not go the way either side thought they were going to go. And that one guy, you know, he's the, I think he's Irish, the actor is, and he's got that scar on his face. It's really distinctive. You've probably seen him as he's all, he's like the tough guy in everything.

He was in Sons of Anarchy back in the day. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's got that really noticeable scar on his cheek. Anyway, he played, a Stark. He plays a Stark this season. And he's like a northern berserker down south, the fight with

the Targaryans. And he had a great, he had several great scenes. He was kind of central to the plot. And like Matt Smith, the main Targaryen guy, is like, you're ready to die for your queen? He's like, oh, I'm so ready to die for my queen. He's like, all right, get the castle

gate open and then die for her, okay? First the gate, Then the death. Yeah. And it's like, this is our guy. I like it. So you give this season overall a thumbs up? Oh, I don't know.

Like, in the grand scheme of things, I don't know about the show in general. Like, you know, when you're watching it week to week, it's hard to judge the whole, like, tapestry of the show, first season and, like, as a whole. Online, people are really given that main chick a hard time for her acting this year and for the way she's been written. I know that Martin, we mentioned him, like, like, I think he sort of renounced to the show and said, like, this isn't my story anymore.

They've kind of pushed me to the side and done their own thing. I don't know. I like the season was really controversial. That's when he, like, came out. He's like, you guys are fucking this up. Yeah. Yeah. There's stuff in it I don't like and there's stuff in it I do like.

It's so divorced from, like, the thing that I hold sacred, which is Game of Thrones, don't even care. They mentioned the song of ice and fire every now and then, and I'm just like, shut up. Shut up and do your own thing. I've said, shut up. You were not the prince that was promised. Like, there's a line where a character is like, I am the prince that was. I'm like, no, you're not. We'll never know who the real prince was. It's John Snow. And then they lied to us. It's, uh, it's pretty good. It's definitely worth watching. How are you liking Wooders Bay?

I think it's fine. It's not like, I'm surprised you liked it as much as you. you did because I think it's good, but it's fine. What the hell is Widows Bay? Oh, so Widows Bay is on Apple. They describe it as a comedy horror, although I haven't laughed yet. And the horror is like, fine. And to me, it's more of a mystery. And not what I'd call a horror, but a mystery.

And I don't know. So I think there's 10 episodes, and I think I've seen either eight or nine of them. And they're on an island. and the island apparently has some sort of curse on it and there are some like good men trying to get to the bottom of it and make the place better. I think that's the gist of the story.

It's like modern day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? The day's a little confusing. They use these telephones with cords that attach to the walls, but it also seems to be taking place right now and I don't understand.

It might because they're on an island. They're like, you know, don't have. Well, no, wouldn't you have cell service? They have cell service. Did you ever see the Americans with the Soviets undercover in the U.S.? Anyway, it's got the main guy from that. I think his name's Michael Reese. He's really good.

Is that who we're talking about? Yeah, the mayor. And yeah, this mayor is sort of like he wants his island community to flourish. He's not quite a mainlander and not quite an islander. He's kind of in the middle. And, you know, it's island folk, which is always fun. And he's trying to pitch this islander. to a news reporter who's there to do like a regular like vacation news blog column type thing.

And there's so many things wrong to the island that wrong with the island they're embarrassing. And he's like, I understand there was some cannibalism that year. He's like, hardly a thing, you know. And he's like, he points in like a framed newspaper. And it's like, no, no, it was definitely. And the newspaper headline is like, cannibalism. There's no cannibalism per se. And it's like that's the, it's on the front page of your frame newspaper right there in your town's museum.

So like as they go through the history of the island, you find out it's like super cursed. And that's kind of comedic. It's like what's not wrong with this place? It's kind of funny. There's so many things wrong with it. There's an inn, like a hotel type thing, a bed and breakfast sort. There's a restaurant. There's a couple as a museum.

Every piece of art on this island depicts a tragedy. it's somebody drowning maybe a shipwreck some sort of like i don't know party where people die if you just pay attention to the background it's all like horrible things and that's the best art though like even in real life like all the like battle scenes or like was it jupiter eating his son that's not a uplifting painting it's pretty brutal yeah but to get you thinking it's like ooh you want to know What's so fucked up about Jupiter eating his son is, you know, that's just the title somebody came up with later. Really? So that dude was just going around his house, drawing insane shit on the walls and he just drew a giant eating somebody.

And it had, we don't know if there's actually any, like, thematic relevance. He might have just drawn a giant guy eating somebody. And they're like, yeah, you know, it's Jupiter eating his son, I guess. We're talking about Saturn devouring his son. Oh, yeah. Saturn, demouring his son. Yeah. It's a good painting.

but that guy who lent him the name, if that's the case, he did a lot of heavy lifting because otherwise that just seems psychotic. I don't see why this painting is good. Are we showing? Can we show it to everyone? Wait, you've never seen that?

What do you mean you don't know if that? It's new to me. That's like one of the famous creepy photo paintings. Look at how like how frantic the artist manages to make the eyes of the giant look. All I see is terrible entry level painting and a seriously caked up victim. You are, you're out of your memory.

mind it's a great thing. I'm so glad that you do that you've done this back to back from like saying Widows Bay is kind of mid because Widows Bay is like a 9.9 out of 10 9.9 out of 10 show. Now we're now we're look at the elbow. Look at the shoulder. Look at that leg. What are you talking about? This is this kid just graduated third grade and drew this shit. I'll admit he's a little disturbed, but he's never had a lesson. This is Ferris Bueller playing saxophone. No, this is this is an. Excellent painting. It's unnerving.

Part of it is unnerving. Oh, I admit that the eyes are a little freaky, but that the way the rest of the painting is so poorly done, I feel like the eyes could be an accident. If you walked into a room, turned on a light, and there's a big guy with bug eyes going, ah, you're going to go, ah, amateur hour. Like, come on, it's the scariest fuck that you've ever seen in my life. Or even if it's a normal-sized man eating a little homunculus thing, like, it's still upsetting. Like you wouldn't want to like open a door at someone else's house at a party where you don't know everyone. I'm like, oh, sorry. Like just you see that in there.

If I open the door and see that, I'm like, he's caked up. No, he was like a really good painter. If you look at his other paintings, they're like masterpieces, but then he just kind of lost his mind and started covering his walls and like psychopaths murder. Is that what happened? Yeah, that's why it's interesting. They just, they're like, hey, what happened to that guy? He like locked himself in his house. And they went his house and they're like, what has this dude been making?

And that's when they found all this weirdo shit. Yeah. His other art isn't as like weird, but the style is still there. Like you can kind of see like the way he paints colors and stuff. He was tormented by the dread of old age, fear of madness, with the drew from public life in his final years, retreated into a farmhouse, and alone in mental and physical despair,

completed the work of his 14, black paintings, all of which were executed in oil directly onto the plaster walls of his house. So you're not seeing this on a canvas. You're walking into a crazy, like, dead old guy's house. You're like, ah, ah! Like, looking around his

fucking walls at that horrible shit. And the whole time, he's like, I'm doing this to preserve my sanity. Like, just painting these ghastly things that he has to start every day looking at with his coffee. Yeah, and some of these other pictures are pretty unnerving as well. this like

yeah what the fuck is this the old women the old women of Francisco Goya I'm looking up the black paintings now the black paintings now the black painting I like the naked chick one

I didn't see that one I'm looking for the spooky ones kato oh these old women are terrifying yeah yeah this guy had a knack for just

upsetting art. He wasn't like having fun with it like Esher where he's like what if stairs were fucking wild

and then and then he's and then that's what he did. That's a pretty good explanation as you're just looking at the staircase he's like yo but what if they went like all places people would be fucking nuts

wall lash art yeah is a scare man look at these guys look at this fucking creepoid man let me take up the exact pull up what uh share my screen

Vito is Lincoln oh he can share his screen yeah you're just like hanging out at the bar you look across the bar and these goofs are just over there going oh Jesus Christ man oh yeah

hey man you want to try some of this fucking shit we got from the gas stage it's better than weed it's better than weed it's better than weed dude sleep paralysis demons and the yeah man this is how can you not think this is

like really good Woody like this just doesn't like well like I could ask you the inverse look at that time about this is fucking look at those strokes did he paint it with his toes you think I think you might have painted it with his toes I think that you see like that face on the right and you're

thinking that him he was him being like I just can't get the faces down but like he's like no I want it to be smeared out toothless. The other one's tooth heavy. That one's toothless. No, he painted that and he thought, man, I used to be so good at painting. I've lost my muscular, like agility, my dexterity. I'm glad you weren't around this guy. You would have discouraged him. You would have been like, it's time for a day job, brother. Like,

I hear the post office is hiring. Yeah. Well, this guy's pretty cool. I need to look at his black paintings. No wonder he was in a bad mood all the time. Like, there's no. People criticize his art. So it looked like you're getting with his feet. And also, I don't think the sun isn't out in any of these. There's not a single sunny picture. Pull up the Great Red Dragon by William Blake. That's the one that's featured in the Hannibal movie Red Dragon and the novel before it.

That thing's creepy. That thing's really creepy. And the psychopath in the book, he thinks that the great Red Dragon from the painting is talking to him and tell him to like, murder these women in ether faces and stuff, and he's got it painted onto his back, like a perfect rendition of the great red dragon. That was Edward Norton, right? He was the red dragon.

No, Edward Norton plays the... Oh, the detective. What's his name? Yeah, the detective... I can't think of his name. Will, right? Was it Wilson? Will Graham?

Will Graham? It's Will Graham. Yeah, this... You're very tan, Will. this one's more interesting to me. Yeah, this one's, and if you can find the picture of where the actor Ralph Fienes has it tattooed to his back,

that's the photo that I show women when I first meet them, and they ask me if I have any tattoos. I'm like, well, yeah, I do have William Blake's great red dragon on my back. And they're like, oh, I'm not familiar. I'm like, oh, let me show you. And then I show them a picture of Ralph Fien's back. Yeah.

Suddenly my barbed wire and don't tread on me, snake are pretty bearable, aren't they? Yeah, I show I show him this picture, not literally this one, but like this actor with this tattoo. I'm like, yeah, that's me. I'm pretty into art, but mostly William Blake stuff.

And really specifically just this painting, it speaks to me, you could say. And I either get a laugh or I don't. That's how I know. On the previous one, The blonde, is she a love interest or a victim? previous what

with the toothless and the tooth people with the dragon with the toothless creepy people oh with the dragon no I think that was oh with the dragon like a scary demon dragon like trying to like step over an angel

yeah that looks like an angel that's what I would think the dragon is trampling I assume they're about to get it on and the angels about I think well I mean look at the angle of that neck that that demon's looking towards something he wants it's straight ahead of them

yeah I kind of want it too could be your soul In like 1803 when this was painted, people didn't have a tolerance for horror. So they were probably like, like they just, they see something that spooky. They'd never seen that before. Okay. So this is symbolism from Revelation 12, which describes a pregnant woman, quote, clothed with the sun with the moon under her feet,

pursued by a massive red dragon with seven heads and ten horns waiting to devour her child. The symbolism is that the dragons obviously Satan, while the woman symbolizes the church or the faithful people of God. The full title of the painting is the Great Red Dragon and the woman clothed with the sun. That's still a good one.

I like that. I don't know anything about paintings. I'm learning a lot. Yo, I'm looking at a front shot and you get to see his dick. Yeah, yeah, he hangs down. Blinket. Ralph needs a hell of a fucking villain. I think all the great villain should have to be in this early on. Link it. Here's the black beast

Oh yeah you can Yeah I mean it's a little covered I don't know You think I'm kidding I shared my screen Hold on There I think that's the one

You guys see you're right On the bottom It's got a screen share Oh I don't see that Is that it is Here's the beast With all of his heads I'm afraid

Can we show this? It's, well, it's not, it's like classic heart. How could you not be allowed to show it? It's, I mean, look, it's, you know. Yeah, there's nothing like you can't, you can't see anything. There's a demon in front of everything. It's like he's ready to go, but then the demon head is blocking off. Moving your curse over his dick root.

Yes. Well, this is the beast from the sea. He's hanging out with the beast from the sea here, which is not a cool guy. Is this another way of Blake? Is that a way of Blake banning as well? No, I don't know. This is, yeah, William Brake, it says. Cool.

I don't know it says unonsorre. Yeah, William Blake, I guess. Unknown would be a little scary, right? Like if an unknown artist had painted the devil coming out of the ocean that well a long time ago, I'd be a bit concerned. I thought for a, you know how goofy people look in like those medieval paintings where they're like just not quite oriented? Like a little jolly or weird. I had someone could fact check me because it's just something I heard from a friend that he was like, you know, because I always thought it was like, yeah, they really haven't figured out like good, the way to paint right yet.

And he was like, you know, that was like a stylistic choice. They could, they could have, like, painted differently. And I was like, now that you say that, I'm embarrassed, I didn't consider that. That, like, this was just the style at the time to do those, like, 2D almost like walk like an Egyptian hieroglyphs where they're just staring at each other. I saw Egyptian hieroglyphs today of wrestling. And it looked like they were, each, each glyph was like, or carving was like a freeze frame. of like two wrestlers like going through different positions and moves. And I think it was on the MMA subreditor, the UFC subreddit.

But there was like 20 different glyphs showing like all. And it's like, oh yeah, these are all like modern. Like this is how people still wrestle. And it was like 2,500 BC Egyptian wrestling glyphs or something like that. And it was like various positions. One of them looked like a guillotine and there's lots of like a single leg double. Like it was wrestling 2500 years ago like carved into a. Rock.

Dude, they went more hardcore back then. Like, the first couple Olympics in Greece, they had to make rules where they're like, you can't just break the other guy's fingers until he gives up. It's not very sporting. And, like, that's, I think that's the evolution of, like, referees. Because before that, it was like, that's a lot. Champion for three Olympics running. Have you ever seen that?

I think it's another ancient Greek guy. There's just a giant, like, 300 and something pound stone. And on it, it says, like, like, you know, Jerry Papadopoulos could lift this rock clean over his head. And it just is carved into the side of this very heavy rock. It's like Crix's son of Onar lifted this stone. Yeah, clean over his head. And it's like, that is pretty awesome.

Like the internet has ruined us for feats of strength and athleticism in general. Like we get to see the best of the best of all eight billion of us just at a click of a button. Back then, there was a guy on your team. town who could lift that heavy stone over his head? Oh my God. This is the guy. See, Jerry lift the stone? Nobody in the world could probably lift that stone.

You believe it. Yeah. And like that would have been a story forever for the whole town. It would have like, it would have been their version of like Georgia being the peach state. There would have been like, we're, you know, the son of Bobus lifted that stone over here and people would be like, yeah, right. And then like, old people would have to tell him like, no, it's true. It's a real. I mean, I don't know.

History Channel may have done it, but they had like, is it Brian Shaw, the power lifter and a bunch of those world's strongest men. And they would go to historical location, eat the historical food, of course, and like kind of visit there a little bit. But their main purpose for going was duplicating a historical feat of strength. So it was like apparently there was some soldier during some battle so that instead of the British wouldn't capture their cannon. he took the cannon off of its platform, its wheels, and carried the cannon barrel himself. And there's like different stories about how much this cannon weighed.

But they were like, all right, you guys are going to carry a cannon down. There's lots of stuff like that where the guys try to duplicate these historical feats of strength. John Henry beat his way through a whole mountain. I saw that, yeah. That was big. He was a steel driving man.

Yeah, my family's so racist. We always, like, rooted for the train, the steam engine. Go steam go Go Go Do I remember really liking John Henry as a kid And like those little picture books I'd be like dude

This guy rocks What's more than Paul Bunyan guy I like Paul Bunyan His big blue ox I didn't like the inconsistency They'd be like he was as tall as a house And his feet left lakes And I was like

That's not That's not big enough Good point The scale doesn't match I needed something consistent. I needed something like Clifford. I remember at a time they brought up like Johnny Appleseed. I'm like apples.

He gives the shit. He was the only one was real. He's the only one was real. Was he real? But like, was he real in the way that he was planting apples? I thought Johnny Apple Seed was just a metaphor. I thought he fucked women all over the country and made babies. That's the only one we thought that. He planted apple seeds.

He planted his seed, all right. You thought that there was like this deep, euphemism of like Elon Musk of his day. I think he has 14 kids now. Every man on the planet was planting his seed everywhere he could. Like Johnny Appleseed was a real person. His name was

John Chapman and he lived from 1774 to 1845 and he was a pioneer nurseryman who planted extensive apple tree nurseries across the Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois and parts of Ontario. Johnny Appleseed, real character, real guy.

He got famous while he was alive. I just don't like apples. I bet he was playing in some good kinds. I'm a big peanut guy. You ever wake up? You ever wake up in the middle of night? You're thirsty. Yeah, that's true.

Crack open the fridge and there's little mots in there. Little, little mots. Ooh. I don't think I've had apple juice since I was maybe in elementary school. Oh. And they handed it out. What? I just don't think I've had it.

What about cider? You ever get apple cider? I've had apple cider before. It's pretty good. It's a seasonal. It's a holiday thing. It tastes Christmassy. I need it. Yeah. I want that sediment. It tastes Christmassy.

It does a little Christmassy. I think. Shake it up and watch it, like move around in there like a hot cider. What is that about? Do you think there were rip-off Johnny Appleseeds where like they saw how much clout he was getting? And there was some guy who went around. Bobby Beat seed was not beloved. Bobby Beets.

Oh, these things are perfect. We don't know how to make sugar from him yet. So you really just wasted land here, brother. I'm a big George Washington Carver guy. That guy I love peanuts. Oh, we are super anti-George Washington Carver here. We did a deep dive on his fraudulent ass. First of all, are you aware that George Washington Carver, the father of the peanut,

didn't invent peanut butter even? Everyone knows that. If peanut butter is just mash a peanuts, he couldn't invent it. It's mashed peanuts. Oh, he invented everything else. He claims that motherfucker claims, go to the, George Washington Carver. Did he claim that he invented peanut butter?

He claimed he invented hundreds of things. Some of them are things like vinegar. Like he claimed vinegar. He claims wild, ridiculous things. Anything you could do with the peanut, he claimed. Yeah, he was insane. That's what I love about him. He was actually crazy.

Do you remember the story where he went to Congress and Congress is like, we now recognize George Washington Carver and he just goes, Peanuts, that's what's going to save this fucking country? And they're like, I'm sorry, what? And he presented them with a list of like 100 peanut recipes. And he's like, every man, woman, and child in this country, if we move to a complete peanut-based diet, we will live in the lap of luxury forever. And they're like, uh, okay, man. Like he seriously, he like laid out his like staple peanut diet for, yeah, there, this.

Or no, that's his list of things. Shit. He had like 105 recipes, how to grow the peanut in 105 ways of preparing it for human consumption. He was just 100% convinced that if we all ate peanuts, America would be blessed by God. He's making shampoo, shaving cream, dandriacure, 30 different dyes, chili sauce, caramel bar candy. He made some sort of flavoring paste. Wurchester Shire sauce, vinegar, diesel and gasoline fuel. We know for a fact these things are not made of peanuts.

We know they're not. What is this list? And you know what I hate the most about this? list if you look carefully in the background is peanuts the background is peanuts and also like that it says charcoal in parentheses from the shells and it's like you can't take credit for burning the shells you took credit for you have to read his 105 peanut recipes for america starting with peanut soup moving to peanut soup number two number four is peanut soup number four Jesus Christ man

Did he like sprint up to the White House and like like he's Martin Luther nailed these to the door? He was like he was dead set. He's like, you guys, I've discovered the peanut. It's fucking incredible. Everyone's like, we don't just want to eat peanuts, George. We just don't want to do it. He's like peanut sausage. You don't even eat meat anymore.

You just roll it up and you make a sausage out of it. They're like, we're not eating peanut sausage, George. Get out of here. I found another website took down the list that we mocked at least twice. Do you think it's related to us? I think we send more traffic to the George Washington Carver Fax Museum online blog post.org than any other organization on the planet. So yeah, probably.

Liver with peanuts. Peanut and cheese roast. Peanut and cheese. Show me a picture of that bitch. Show me a picture of that lying bitch. I want to know what he looked like. Show me what George Washington Carver looks like. I can't picture of me either.

I'm picturing like a... He's a black guy, right? Yeah, I'm picturing like a, like a wizened black gentleman with graying hair and like a, like he's got those old-timey glasses. They're small. He's got small glasses like spectacles. Oh, okay. What do you think he smelled like? Peanuts.

It looks classy. He does look classy. He was on that peanut empire. I bet his mustache was styled with peanut oil. Baked peanuts with rice, guys. Come on. How funny it would be if he had like a peanut pin on. Like you could tell, like even in these random photos,

like he was still living the peanut life. Like a little peanut like shell casings on him. You can't like, fuck that guy. All Bunyan had more consistent sizing than that book cover. Johnny has to be a real American hero, right? I found another site. They took down Tuskegee University,

but the Newark Board of Education still has it up. A similar list. And this is under the food section of his inventions, peanut surprise. So we don't even know. And then three under peanut surprise is pickle, comma, plain. He did not invent pickles. No, it just says pickle. That makes no sense.

Salted peanuts. Now this is just getting insane. He invented salted peanuts. A genius this man was. Oh, it's just mock goose, mock chicken, mock meat, mock oyster, mock veal cutlet. And all his dinner guests are like, peanut lemon punch, okay? You're never going to believe what everything's made up, guys. I'm going to be blocked up tomorrow.

They can excuse me. I don't think that's. Didn't work for him. You could tell him. No. how is this on a special peanut dye you know how often we're dying our stuff with peanuts these days

that that's a big one wood stains dyes for clothes dyes for leather some of these seem redundant like that whole paint dye section just one invention split into five bro I'm gonna tell you the face cream

face lotion face ointment is all the same fucking thing yep it's all the same shit it's all peanuts that's all that any of it is and in most of this one hen food hen food

and it's peanuts. And you go, well, that's not an invention. That's just giving a chicken peanuts. Gasoline is there. Invented gasoline.

That's awesome. Gasoline is petroleum distillate. Like, like, I can't imagine how you get gasoline from peanuts other than like burning the shells

to like. Now diesel maybe. You can make vegetable oil, right? Yeah. You can make biodiesel. he experimented with plant-based oils and ethanol concepts could be big

well it didn't end up being this guy but I mean why do I get the feeling that the wood filler is just him rubbing a peanut who hasn't? Who hasn't? I'm going to expose how dumb I am but what do peanuts come from? Is it like a bush or a tree or what does the plant look like? Does everyone know but me? I think it's a bush.

It's like a vine right? I think you're like. that a vine along the ground? I'm glad there isn't a consensus. I'm glad everyone is like, dude, you don't know what apple trees look like? They're like, stay near the ground, don't they? Yeah, they grow under the ground.

It looks like they grow under the ground. It looks like the peanut is the root. Or maybe it's... Oh. Peanut is underground? I thought for sure that hard shell. I'm confused. Well, so he almost does look like it was...

We're all learning about peanuts today. Like, what does it look like when it's not recently murdered. It looks like it grows like right next to the surface. I think what you want to see one where they haven't pulled it out of the ground yet. Yeah, but I think I'm getting what I need. I probably needed to see both because I'm guessing the plant version. Oh, this tells me.

I didn't know. For some reason, I thought the way to harvest a peanut was to like shake the bush with some automated machine. I'd be honest, I've never considered it. When I saw that they were like the roots of the plant, I was like, oh. Okay. Well, that's what's so interesting about nuts and legumes. Some of them do are in the trees, you know? They're on there all over the... GwC rolling in his grave right now. I can't believe we don't know.

He's a much peanut oil on him. He's all loosed up in there. Fuck that guy. That guy is a wrong. These are made up inventions. I know we've harped on before. I mean, who among us can forget peanut bar number one. Dude, I'm a big peanut soup number four guy. Number three, not as much. A little too much peanut. What a time to be alive when you could just pick a random plant and be like, I'm that guy. No one's done it yet. No one's ever gotten really into potatoes before. I'm going to be the first.

I think I want to be the avocado guy. I feel like there's a lot of things we can do with that. I want to work the cranberry bug. I want to be wading around and the cranberries fill in between my toes. It does seem like a good pick. Plus the juices. Like once we figured out mixing cranberries with all the other berries, you'd be a trillionaire.

There's nothing better than being a bog, man. Just walking your bog. If you would come up with cran grape and cran strawberry and cran all that shit, cran apple, you'd be rolling in dough. Generations and generations. You'd have to make an alliance with Johnny Appleseed and the pear guy. And I like to imagine there were a lot of independent fiefdoms of food at this time. Right.

How much Julius here? Let's crack these numbers. Mr. Seed? Come this way. Y'all didn't invite that filthy bugger George Washington Carver, did you? Carver's like, I got an idea. You're not going to believe it. No, not you.

No crad peanuts. This is stupid. The last time, you sober, bitch. Yeah, there'd be tears. You'd take of peanut shabings. Being from the potato family would be powerful. But then, like, what if you were born into, like, the celery legacy? You wouldn't be powerful because there's too many.

potato families. What are you talking about? You can't monopolize the potato. Anybody can grow a potato. That's the problem. You can say that about peanuts. No, you got to come up with potato soup, potato candies, potato fries, potato shakes. That's what I think McDonald's milkshakes are made from. Then you realize nobody's checking these lists and you're like, shaping cream. There's the naming shit.

fertilizer which i guess anything could be claimed for that uh anyway blast from the past with gwc i wanted to ask you veto i got your message about coming on biggest problem and i hadn't checked in with you guys in a while so i went over to your channel and i guess you and dick not doing it together anymore a split had a child and it turns out that when you have a child your schedule becomes fraught and fragmented. And Dick basically said, man, I don't get enough time to be doing this show. And I was like, all right, man. Well, we had fun.

I get it. He's stressed for a number of reasons. He's also had tinnitus for the past, like, year. And he's like, so not only do I experience this horrific ringing in my ears that makes me want to kill myself, but now I have a child that likes to make noise all the time. And I'm like, yeah, buddy, take some time. To yourself, I get it. I've had this happen to me.

I'm sick and tired of people prioritizing their children over me. Yeah, especially over podcasts. Come on, the podcast is what matters, you idiot. We're trying to gain here. I told my friend last night, you want to keep your kids safe? You put them in a safe. It's in the name. Get back on the controller.

But I don't listen. Just get a baby cage. They love it in there. Yeah. They're going nowhere. That's basically what those things are. Like my friends with kids, they just like will set up that almost corral and then they just

plop them in with like a rubber dinosaur and a stuffed animal and you know, kids kind of good to go for a while. You see in the New York City baby cages they used to have in the windows right? When they're like bring that like hey you know your kid needs fresh air so just jam him

40 stories up they'll be happy up there. How many how many kids grew up back in the back in the 20s like a horrifying like I don't know I just have these memories of being suspended in midair fucking above the street. How many kids didn't grow up in the 20s?

Because the big case just didn't work out. They were busy working the oil fields. They were busy. There you go. Really? People drop air conditioners out the window all the time. I see no reason why that's safer. Yeah, they're not attached this.

Look at that. Look at that craftsmanship. That's old world stuff. That's a chubby-faced kid, too. That's going to be a big boy. That's a big fucking kid for a black and white photo. Look at that fucker. Yeah, look at the stabilizing being.

That's because he's a jobster. You think that's a real fur? Is he wearing a fur? I can't tell. It's all posing and black and well. I don't think that was back in the days when anybody could get a fur. It seems unlikely. It would have to be a real fur because they didn't have

polyester and synthetics. The kids are all in. I mean, it's got to be a rich family. They got a baby cage. Poor families didn't have baby cage. Yeah, I mean, They just duct taped a trash bag outside and then like, go plan that. Living that high up was like highly regarded at the time.

Maybe it still is. I don't even know where you want to be in Manhattan, but I would think being away from like stinky horses and such is nice. Yeah, but it's all scary. Getting away from poor people was like, oh my God. That was the first time in history you could just live above the pores. Yeah. That's what they all wanted. I think you're right about the smell thing though, because it probably smelled like shit.

Like just having cows. just, or not cows, having horses just sitting around. The people, I mean, in like, urban area. Everybody's dumping pots out their windows, down to the street. In the 20s? Oh, not the 20s. The right 20s just throw your shit out there on.

None of this matters. Electricity. The plumbing's been around since the future. Everyone doesn't even Thomas Edison. The person I can. Here we go. I'll show you some pictures from today in India, where people are just throwing out.

I do this. This is in India. That's different. That's different. They don't know better. They haven't caught up to the 20s. The pieces of falling in the 20s. The only language they understand is iTunes gift cards.

Yeah. Well, I don't think people are throwing open cans of feces out their windows when they had perfectly good toilets. Certainly not the rich ones living high up away from the horse shit and the, the pores. Like, no one was living that way. Probably not. I've seen boardwalk. empire. And I've, you know, and I've read about the, the gangsters. That's about my extent of knowledge on the, the pop culture of the 20s. But those guys were pretty slick, if anything.

Another feature of just having cameras everywhere and TikTok order is a all this feigned opulence and the luxury is now just revealed by these like travel bloggers. You know, yeah, that place actually sucks, you know. I was thinking about what is the hotel from Eloise? It's like that famous New York. The Plaza Hotel. And there's always like a thing where it's like, oh, you're going to go to the plaza hotel. It's like the fanciest hotel. And I watch a guy's video and he goes, it sucks. The food sucks.

The room suck. And I'm like, oh, maybe this was all just a fucking illusion. Either that or our standard. Have our standards actually declined or are we just able to like document? Nah, it was just never really that good. I don't know. It's like kind of a mix. Have you visited New York much, Vita?

No. I used to live in Massachusetts. So we used to go into the city every now and again. But every time I've stayed. there. The hotel room was shockingly small. Now, maybe the people paying for it just were cheap. But I was like,

this is like nice. It's been recently renovated. Clearly someone put some money into this room, but it's not much bigger than the bed. That's my New York. I've ever been in New York. Yeah. Well, if it's a recently established hotel in New York, like, there's no property left to buy, so they just convert

anything into a series of closet. I think this was recently remodeled. I don't remember where I stayed, though. Good old, New York. York. They got Mom Donnie. The government running grocery stores. We're set. This is it. Yeah. I don't think what could possibly go wrong. Did the grocery store thing happen? I think I heard it didn't. And then I heard there was one. I don't know what to make of it. I thought he said there's like five of them. But then all the other like, but then it's the problem the left has where like everybody wants a little piece of it. So all the bedegas are going, well, how are we going to sell our, you know, Red Bulls or whatever? So now Mom Donnie's got to give them a little like credit or something. something. He's like, well, we can't leave the bodegas out of it. And you're like, well, everyone's just going to get paid

then. What's the fuck's the point of any of those? Yeah. It doesn't seem like, because I saw a little interview where they were like, you know, they're opening five for like something like $70 million. And I guess all they had said like, you know, we can do five stores a lot faster than that, a lot cheaper too. And they just did the the cheaper government run ones. And then like Vito said, all the surrounding grocers were like, well, you're going to put all of us out of business because you're like, we're subsidizing this. And so he was like,

all right, to fix this potential bit of government overreach we're cutting all you guys checks, taxpayer checks, to keep you happy. And it's like, well, you've kind of a little bit of a money ball. Yeah, it's like, okay, so you're going to make, you're going to have cheaper groceries, but then everyone's going to have cheaper groceries. So you're going to have to make

your groceries cheaper than the cheaper groceries, and then eventually the city goes bankrupt. One grocery store at time. I would just take the free groceries and then go sell them the people. Well, you also. have to show ID that you live in New York in order to go into the grocery stores, not to vote, just to buy groceries.

So you go in and you have to approve your address, and I'm sure at some point they'll have a quota to stop the, oh, you can't buy too many groceries because then you're just going to flip them on an open market. The sanctity of the self-checkout is supreme in our country, all right? We want to make sure that only citizens are going through. It's very important. Well, this isn't even citizens. I guess if you have a New Jersey ID, they're like, you know,

whipping you with a willow branch. Get out of here. You can't buy it. Just to ask if someone has a New Jersey ID. Well, not in these grocery stores, brother. Dude, I lean left, but like the second this guy was like, and the biggest problem we got is people are paying too much for fucking groceries. I'm like, well, now we're fucked.

What are you doing? It's a completely waste of everyone's time and money. Well, at least you get this New Yorkers get to subsidize fucking, I guess, all day. I don't know how, I don't know how these groceries. stores are supposed to work in a self-sustaining economy or even our economy. Even the US economy. But if I were trying to inject a little bit of like, let's get some cheaper food to the people who need it and I'm a socialist, why do we not have like a public garden or something like

that? You know, why aren't the people like, like, you can't just make food free somewhere unless you do the way, do it the way our ancestors did and like, what if it's a big garden? Where we go and grow some fucking potatoes? You're describing a homeless open rape encampment, Kyle. That's why we can't have a public garden. You have some guy walking around with two fucking illegal guns and he'd be called the potato king. Who wants some peanut soup?

I got peanut soup $5 a bowl. And you're like, all right, this is a fucking mess. You're going to need security. Have you seen that robot that it looks like a goat or a ram? and it has a chainsaw, that four-legged demon robot with the chainsaw. Okay. It'll cut whatever you want up to death. I think it's made for like wildfire rescue or something.

Zach, find the thing I'm talking about that demon robot with the chainsaw they made. Yeah. I think having a big open park would lend itself to people just stealing it because they'd be like, I'm not going to go plant a bunch of potatoes. That guy's already doing it. I'm just going to take his potatoes. And he can't stop me because we're the 8th Street potato boys. All right.

If we're talking about instituting a gangs of New York style situation, now we're talking. Okay. I don't know, man. Bill the butcher and the potato boys are coming to town. You know, maybe some spears and swords and you'll be able to defend your little potato farm. We could have some villagers. We could have like a local like knight who'd like protect that field.

So you want to sort of like clash of clan's base in. fucking Central Park. I don't know. Yeah. And also, like, who's going to be in charge of the plant? Like, are you just going to, like, give some retarded, like, recent college like gardening supplies and be, like, best of luck? No, dude.

Do you know how many hippies would, like, migrate to the area for the chance to plant free crops in Central Park that are for the needy? Like, it would be great. You have a wheat crop out there, too? They should take a whole central. Central Park bulldoze it, turn it into a free New York Garden.

Like, how big is Central Park? How many acres? Let me see. I don't know. It should all be parking. It's pretty big. Dude, you're not going to believe how big Central Park is. Isn't it like 20 blocks or something? 843 acres is an enormous area. I had no idea it was that big.

I know I've been. But I certainly did it. you look at the map of new york city you're like oh my god that park is fucking it's 51 blocks what a way huge i looked into the grocery store thing a little bit just a little fact checking um they are not paying existing grocery stores that whole thing was horseshit and okay what they are doing is considering giving existing grocery stores like tax cuts zoning benefits and stuff like that so they can be more competitive with the cheaper ones and lower their costs too it's an effort to make food cheaper by making it easier to do business in the city.

So they're getting... 850 acre fucking farm in the middle of the city would make food cheaper. Yeah, I don't... Food stamps. Why don't we just... Why doesn't New York just have more food stamps? Yeah, they just cut.

The food stamps are called snap now. And the big beautiful bill just cut them in some big way. But I'm saying, if you're in New York and you're like, we're going to open a bunch of grocery stores and the amount of logistic and supply chain issues and the amount of money you're going to spend, sending all that up, wouldn't it just be cheaper to go, hey, if you're poor, here's 10 bucks, go buy a sandwich. This says lead official for Mayor Mamdani's NYC groceries tells city may give grants to local grocers fearing competition from city run stores, policies and programs, grants incentives that can

come alongside these grocery stores to support other local independent businesses. So a grant is the government giving you money that they then oversee the spending of. It said they briefly considered that. There was a backlash and they ditched it. Oh, this is from yesterday. So maybe it happened that quickly. Breaking news. Yeah, it looks like they're giving them grants, which is giving them money, and then they just get to oversee it.

If it were alone, we wouldn't get to oversee it, which is why our greatest outlet gets money that way. I don't know. It might be a good idea for New York. You've got such a disparity or such a wealth inequality there, like some of the richest people in the world, one of the richest cities in the world, and there's people that can't afford, you know, potatoes.

I think everybody can afford potatoes. That's like the cheapest food out there. Yeah, they're really cheap. Aldi potatoes are like $3 for 10 pounds. Like potatoes, beans, rice. Who are we naming staple foods? I'm excited. Wheat.

Yes. Oh, what else we have? Marley. Yeah, yeah. Let's go. Heart attack. Well, no, we're not going to. Hack it up. I keep heart tack.

You never know what they're going to. go awry. You're gonna, when things go bad, things take a twist, you're gonna be like, God, need some of that hard tack and I'll be like, no, no, no. I'd have like one piece of my hard tack if I had some of my basement, if shit hit the fan, I'd be like, oh, God, I'm just gonna kill my neighbor. I'm just gonna go steal it. Have you guys had hardtack? Have you tried to try it? No. No, I know what it is though. I mean, it's just a, it's just a biscuit that's been baked twice. It was no seasoning, really.

So it's no moisture. Basically, all toast in a biscuit form. So it's light and airy. This is like dense and hot. It's like like you break it to. Bread by cooking it and then you cook it again. And then you cook it again.

Oh, you also have to not put anything in. Yeah, you're going to want to put it in like soak it in some warm water before you could actually eat the shit. Yeah. You got put it in your coffee cup. You got put it in a texas. 10 coffee cup before you go kill some Nazis.

Ooh, a tin coffee cup. That's very World War II. In my fantasy, I was a pirate, you know, in the 1800s or something. I was thinking pirate as well. They called them Ships Biscuits, and I only know that because I have watched almost every single Townsend and Sons video he's ever released, where he just has the biggest smile. He's so excited to tell you about the history of Ships Biscuits.

What do you think being a pirate was really like? You know, was it all drinking rum and singing and sailing on the open? and seas and fun weather. I have a feeling it. No one thinks that, do they? We've been consuming too much pirate propaganda. Oh, are you thinking of Muppet Treasure Island? My bad, yes, yes, I was.

You know, yo, ho, ho, and the children never ate. Yeah. It's interesting. I actually participated in a realistic pirate simulation called Assassin's Creed Black Flag, and it was a lot of singing and fun and mirth and adventureing. I knew it. I knew that. A-bail jumps. You all laughed at me. Now this guy saw a documentary on pirates

and I'm right. It would have been horrible unless you were like the king pirate and even then all it takes is like three cranky days in a row and you're like fuck we did not get much booty. We're running low on grog. The guys are getting pretty uppity in the you know in the ship. They're going to throw me to the sharks and then they might be on any boat for two days and you're like well that doesn't sound like a lot of fun yeah and these guys were on there for weeks no showers you smell like if you're we've talked of this this before but i think

if you're one of those caribbean pirates and you're like island hopping and like fucking tropical women and eating tropical fruit and stealing like french silks and selling them for more women and tropical foods i can get down a lifestyle like that i don't i just don't want to be what i think when we think of pirates sometimes, I know I do, I think of like, I don't know, someone who's like out in the middle of the Atlantic attacking some trade route where you're out for weeks and weeks and on the run from the Brits or something like that. But if you're down there in the Caribbean, like I said, island hopping between one exotic paradise to another and being a, you know, a pirate. So kind of taking what you want, that could be fun. That could be a good time.

How many pirates are on a ship? Like, is it a two dozen or is it like 150? Because Zach, how many pirates are on a ship? Yeah, Zach, can you figure that out? If you're going to go into a town and cause a ruckus, like a town has thousand people in it. I don't think we're not conquering towns. Cause town ruckuses, man. All right, all right.

I too am a fan of pirate documentaries, and I've been on the ride at Walt Disney World, Pirates in the Caribbean. They were taking down towns there. There were women running for their lives because of the rape implication. I think if you take down a town then you've like declared you don't have anywhere to go now Like I think you want to kill with the town

Yeah Yeah but they didn't want towns They wanted like hit and run Because if like meeting show up on a ship And they strong arm a little town That just can't compete Before you know it Some riders running off

Because that town is a you know British principality And then like the cops are coming And they're going to bring more than 80 guys So you gotta You gotta come in Do your stealing do your pilfering, whatever else you're doing.

I think what they would do is attack like wealthy merchant vessels that weren't up to defending themselves from their heavily armed pirate ships, which were themselves like at a disadvantage to like ships of war. Was there like a lot of pirates or was it like

there was just like some pirates? I think there was a time in the golden age of piracy. Historians estimate there were 5,000 active pirates. at any given time. That's a lot of pirates. It's a lot of pirates.

I think it's the privateers was a big part of it too. You'd have, like France would pay people basically to steal British goods and be pirates, but technically they were being paid to, so they weren't outlaws. It was more of a profession than a

criminal enterprise. But then those people after that stopped would just continue stealing from anybody they could because they were good at it now. We went to war against the pirates. in like the early part of our country. Like the Barbary pirates, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, they both in like the early 1800s.

So many American ships were getting taken out by the Barbary pirates that he was like, all right, we're going to build up a decent navy and then go kill all these pirates because it doesn't make us look like a very serious nation if pirates are just sniping us left and right while we're trying to ship shit into the Mediterranean and or throughout Europe. And so we've had our tussles with pirates before.

And we won. Where are they now? Where are the pirates now? They're in little fucking, yeah, boats off the coast of Somalia. And those pirates are nothing compared to their predecessors who had, I've seen the way the Somali pirates dress and I've seen pictures of the way old school pirates dressed. The old school guys dressed to the rafters. They looked, a lot of them looked good, like they looked good.

What do you mean? I think the Somalis have it. I think you've got this. I think if some Pirates of the Caribbean guy saw, what, seven Somalis on a rowboat, basically, with an engine, take over an oil tanker, they would acknowledge their betters. I don't know how many oil tankers they take over because I've seen, the only video I've seen of them approaching a big, like, cargo ship was filmed. It was some Italian cargo ship from years ago. And there was a guy, like, with a gun up there, like, yelling in. Italian just

and of course the Somalis don't fucking understand and so they're like tentatively getting closer and I guess he was saying in Italian like you get any closer and I'm going to shoot this gun I have pointed at you

and then they got closer and he shot the gun and they were quickly like you know almost like Scooby-Doo like oh you haven't seen the one where they blow them up I've seen it where they blow the guys up and stuff yeah

I was trying to get on one of those security forces at one point because you get paid to like go and basically be a hired gun on this boat and most the time you do nothing and most trips you do nothing but if the Somalis come you get to go up on deck and fucking gun them down

I was like those videos it seems like everyone just kind of chilling smoking cigarettes and then like they see a speedboat coming and they're like yeah dude holy shit well over 200 vessels were taken over in 2010 49 to

68 hijackings in 2011 25 to 28 um there were definitely some Big ones. I mean, they made a Tom Hanks movie about it. Let me see. I'll ask it.

Damn. I didn't know they were taking over big ships. You didn't see that one with I am the captain now? I did see I am the captain now. Yeah. It was kind of like. It was definitely a big ship. Yeah.

Wasn't the best, the best movie. Well, the real question is once we have AI, you know, trucks, are you guys going to join the second golden age of piracy as we drive down the highway alongside these autonomous vehicles and you got one Asian girl with like a fucking you know handkerchief over her mouth going okay

I'm hacking in I'm going to divert it off the fucking shoulder and I'm like you got to get closer the packets aren't coming through and the AI truck has like fucking spikes as pirates detected and it's trying to ram you the other way and you're like no man we're losing fucking bandwidth bandwidth here like that's my

dream right now I see it fast and pure has just been written right we're gonna be it's gonna be for like 10 it's gonna be an arms race between the fucking highway hackers and the AI driven trucks and you're gonna rip it open you're gonna go ah it's just yogurt again fuck yeah that's what it'd be like refrigerated trucks this is stupid this never yeah why don't we keep going after the fucking stop going after the Safeway trucks it's always vegetables they're there they're still Somali like there's I mean, you'd have to have like a plot where it's a bunch of like seasons pirates.

And there's like one last job. And it's like a Tiffany's truck or whatever the fuck. Hell yeah, dude. They're going to have to disguise the trucks. They're going to have to have dummy trucks that make you think the truck sucks. And you go, well, that one just says it's full of fucking peanuts. And you go, that's what they say. It's full of gold.

They say that one's full of peanut bar number one. Yeah. I did some answers on the ship thing. So it's dozens, not hundreds of giant ships. like they got a thousand foot long Saudi super tanker with two million barrels of oil on it but that's like a dog chasing a truck is like what do you do with what do you do with it when you catch it like how are they going to offload a bunch of fucking barrels of oil I think the idea is to the company ransom ransom yeah I don't know how many success we got a ransom I bet that

number's smaller he's like all right macalash call your oil guy we've got it you're going to care me, but I lied. No, I said I had a guy. I don't really have a guy. I just got caught up in the fun of it all. Yeah. I mean, that must be the best feeling in the world to be a Somali pirate. You're on that shitty little dingy. And then you get up there expecting like a war. And it's just some guy like basically like you, I mean, it's going to be tiny. It's just me on here. Like you got it. Like, you know, like, oh, how do you drive it? Just. It's just me on here. Like, oh, how do you drive it? just don't touch anything.

I would think the threat is to like ground it or something. Because like obviously if I'm a pirate, I'm not selling all that oil. I'm trying to get you to stop me from destroying this. Well, you're holding the crew and every day the boat itself is delayed is a huge loss of money. Like if it's an oil tanker, like that oil not moving forward and supply pipeline is a daily cost.

How do Somali pirates? Around and doing its next trip, all that stuff. They'll just pay. How do they make money? Vito? So it is ransom. They had a special mechanism that allow them to drop the ransom out of an aircraft by parachute.

The pirates would collect the money that falls in the water. Put a window. Take it to their ship, count it and leave. So you just, I guess they just call them up and they go, we want $10 million or whatever. And you go, yeah, yeah, you fucking go. I love the idea of some forward-thinking Somali be like, I want a million in Bitcoin. And they're like, they don't even want real money. Fine.

They give them the Bitcoin becomes a trillionaire. They would, like, they get really balzy. They're like, all right, $10 million, but you need to download our app. Like to transfer it to us. We need the money on iTunes gift card only. Do not redeem. Do not redeem. Yeah, being a pirate would be fun briefly, but I feel like that you'd become rapidly disillusioned.

Dude, fuck that. Me and you, armored truck robbers. That's what's happening. When we both get the cancer diagnoses, we're going. Just like the town with Ben Affleck and fucking who's the guy with the bow from Avengers. Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner? Yeah, you can be Jeremy Renner.

Does he die in that? Doesn't matter. We'll do better than they did. Okay, I'll be whatever. Should I watch the movie before we do the job? No. No, we'll watch it after. Don't watch the movie.

I must have fallen asleep after the nun mask part. I don't remember any of this. Good, good, because we're worried. How does it end? They buy an island and their best friends forever. Don't worry about it. Perfect. It ends with a nice slideshow, like the hangover, showing our adventures.

Bank robbing is not the move. No, but it's not bank robbing, armor truck robbing. Yeah. Is that better? So much better. Infinitely better. We got two guys to deal with. And you don't have to feel sorry for these guys.

It's their job. Like, they know what they're. doing, they're wearing guns, they signed up for this. They're not some bank teller, okay, who's going home to her husband tonight and worried about TGI a Friday or some shit. This is Carlos, the ex-cop who, like, protects

money now and does bank runs. I don't feel so bad if I break his nose in this heist. The money's right there. It's in that truck and it's mobile. I get to decide when we hit the truck. I just feel like it's two guys. They stop at regular intervals. We can figure out when they got the most money. We're already

on the road, right? Like our vehicle's next to their vehicle, we hold them up, get their money in our car, and then we're gone. It just seems way easier than a bank. Oh shit, you're very right. Okay, so here's where I was basing what I said on, and here's where I was wrong. I saw a story today of like, you know, ex-inmate goes on

YouTube, tells the story. And his girlfriend had become a bank teller recently. And she learned that the security protocol was just to hand over any money, don't say a word, don't even get attention, right? No one else in the bank should even be aware that they're being robbed at the time.

And her boyfriend is like, bro, we're totally robbing this. Also his girlfriend, bro, in this situation. Okay. So they do just that. And she also makes sure that the drawer is topped off. So he gets as much as possible. And he has a like a trash bag by a dumpster out back. So it goes his planned.

He gets the money, goes out back, changes his clothes. the way he tells the story, in six seconds, he's a different guy. Now he has different clothes on hat. You just don't even know it's him. And he's walking away and it was cool. Well, he is in prison. I didn't find out where it went wrong. But I did find out that he made $18,000.

And like, even if you're not doing well financially, right? If you're whatever, 22 years old and you're not even out of the parents' house yet, you probably wouldn't risk the rest of your life for 18, grand. Even at my brokest, I could see that that wasn't enough cash to throw my life away over. And that's the reality of robbing a teller. But I also looked into how much money was in an armored transport. And it's between a half and two million. Yeah. That's more. That's a lot. We're getting out of here with several hundred thousand dollars apiece, worst case scenario. Yeah. But then, but Kyle, that forgets the point.

where you and I are like turning at the, you know, we go to a Denny's little very muted celebration, but I'm going to kill you in the parking lot. And then now I've got a million and a half. Why would you commit a capital crime when all we've done so far is hold up a couple of Jose's for? No, I also killed the drivers. I know enough about that movie to know that my character is the guy who goes, a little overboard sometimes. I need you to pull it back a little.

I need to pull back a little. You need to be the voice of reason. I was planning on going a little wacky myself. I was going to do some stuff, you know. Well, then we'll go wacky together. Do you think you could tie somebody's wrists together? I don't think I could do. That I could do.

If I'm going to drop some people, I'm bringing those like double zip ties like the cops use. Like I'm coming from here. If you gave me like, you know, that scratchy, twiney looking rope. I don't think I could tie someone's wrists. They would just wiggle out. I couldn't in a time crunch.

If I need to get you tied up so that we can then flee, it's like, oh my God, I'm just going to do multiple like knots. Like I'm just doing multiple knots as fast as I can. But like if we have a few minutes to tie you off. Tie knots, tie lots. I like it. Yes, exactly. But, you know, if we got a few minutes, I'm doing some double wrist wrapy wrap thing.

But zip ties, zip ties. You know where I thought this might have gone? I thought Kyle was going to be. actually, I don't talk about it much, but I'm well-schooled in the art of human bondage. And, you know, I would hog-tie this guy. Shibari, the ancient Japanese art of rope bond. You know what they call those people? Are they like decoratively wrap it around the boobs and everything?

That's what Vita's talking about. Shibari. That's how the Brinks driver is. He's just like, he's going to be. The cops show off and he just shrugs and goes, he did a real good job. I mean, this is embarrassing. I eat too much candy. I get it.

Really not that long. I'm going to be honest. He was quick about it. We're like driving away and you're like, Taylor, did you get him tied up? I'm like tied up his hands, tied up his feet. Plastic bag on the head? Perfect. He had nobody on here.

Oh, you go back one step. What was that last one? You know, plastic bag, duct tape. No, no. We left the scene half an hour ago. What's done? It's done. It's going to lead for.

They call those people. rigors like in the community like like really yeah yeah those are rigors yeah and they rig you up and tit holding ropes I think so I don't know too much about it not something I'm in like if I want to like tie a girl up I'm just going to use some like handcuffs or some I've got like some straps or like something like that I don't want to be tying knots I don't be time I'm just imagine myself like now I've lost my erection and I'm tying a double windsor behind your back like I don't have time for this yeah I'm looking at Wiki how

there's a naked guy like in the mirror like he's tying his fucking tie like and now wrap around the thumb twice I was like left or right I'm where the girl's going to be like a rope expert she's going to look down and be like do a sailor's crook and I'm like yeah I know give it a double hitch you moron

taking all the fun out of it why you insisted on having an Asian contortionist. I could tie somebody up. We used to do that as kids. We used to tie each other up and see if we'd get out. Like we'd play the hostage. We've done stuff like that too. I had a 0% success rate in tying anyone up.

Yeah. We succeeded. We would succeed. I had handcuffs as a kid. That was one of my gifts that I wanted. So I had handcuffs. I handcuffed my cousin one time and she went insane and just freaked out. And everybody got real mad at us.

I was surprised. We would put tape over each other's mouths. Yeah. And then they would just open their mouth. And the tape stops getting sticky when you lick it. And that's what, you know, they work that. It's like this just works so much better on TV. You get to go all the way around.

You can't just put one strip. All the way around. I feel like it would turn into like a horse's bridle. No, yeah. There was always that one kid who always wanted to be the hostage, though, and eventually had to stop playing with that kid. He's like, oh, I'm a little tighter. King shaming.

Okay. Thanks. I can't get loose. Oh, my God. We vowed not to talk about this anymore. Damn it, Brian. You wouldn't be able to tape over. If some guy in the bank you're robbing,

you need to tape over his mouth, but he's got like a lot of facial hair. Like, you really kind of, it's not going to stick. You have to like suffocate him like over and over and over and over. That's the only way. And then you're, now you're running out of tape. Yeah, like, why are you doing that anyway? Like, what's the goal?

but now they have that mouth tape that people use to sleep I wonder if it's more adhesive I would be worried if I was trying not to kill the people at the bank and like I taped up some fat guy's mouth really aggressive and then I like heard him like wheezing really hard through his nose I'd be like yeah I'd be like oh man I'm gonna I'd treat it like a pet turtle

where I'd put small holes in his mouth tape and then to make sure that he wouldn't suffocate from not being able to get it. You need a ball gag. Just bring ball gags if you're going to go that far. If you really need to gag people, you know. Then you could have fun with it. So I had to bring a backpack of ball gags into the chase.

I don't know why we're ball gagging people at all. I feel like we want to get the money. I don't want to rob a bank at all. Although my bank robbery technique has always been. And I came up at this when I was a kid. I mean, it was Halloween. And we were hitting all the spots in town. It's all trick-or-treating kids.

And the bank was one of them. We went in the bank, dressed up. They were all sorts of people in there, dressed up wearing masks with bags that were then filled by tellers and then that person turned around and left and I was like if I passed the guy a note was like give me all the fucking money or I'll kill everybody in here

you know put the money in my pumpkin and let me get out of here or you're dying today nobody would know and I'd walk out as Dracula and I'd be Frankenstein halfway down the block and like the streets that day are full of people with bags wearing masks literally

like I just feel like you get away especially if you call in a crime across town first yeah but wouldn't they have seen you at like eight like so you're planning to do this as like a 40 year old man go in dressed as pinhead and then be in I'm imagining just like a regular like like you know I could be the like like just just a mask just a full on mask or something just just a mask no it's not offensive I'm Al Jolson I think that's how they caught the guy in Woody's story who robbed the teller is he was furiously scrubbing the paint off in a Starbucks bathroom, all the black off his face.

That was a, yeah, that was a decent idea, Kyle. But that would happen at least once a year if it was an actual good plan. No one thought of it but me. That's the thing. There has to be a movie about this. This is like, no, I came up with this. This is a Kyle original. And I tell this all the time.

I bring this up so I'll never be tempted to actually do. it now i've said i've put it out there i can't do it i i did that a perfect it's tempting you don't rob a bank now though you do what all the kids are doing which is you rob a card shop the card shops are holding 200 000 300 000 in like inventory just sitting in display cases i saw one got knocked over the other day it's uh the funny thing is that's a lot of there was like this new york pokemon store that was like crying they're like i can't believe they came in rob we're just trying i'm like dude you have like more merchandise than a fucking jewelry store just sitting out you can't go oh it's just cute cuddly characters i'm like put bars

on the fucking walls and a alarm system it's crazy yeah hire a guy with a gun sit there in the corner a little menacing because all the thieves have figured it out the thieves are all knocking over like sports card stores and Pokemon card stores i could be wrong but it seems clear to me that we're probably at peak valuation for Pokemon cards and such this is nfts at their spike right now no it dude it's So the collectible market is like becoming weirdly fascinating because you have like a generation of people who a lot of guys made money on crypto. You know, you had a lot of guys who are like inheriting money from their parents or whatever. And the, you know, for the longest time, it's like, well, just put it in the S&P. Just put it in stocks or whatever.

And they look at the S&P, they look at the stock market. It's like volatile as hell. It's like an all time high where you go, is that really going to keep going up? Like, is the S&P going to double? and then they see like, hey, if you buy a Pokemon card, it doubles in six months. So a lot of guys, like collectibles are becoming a, it's the same way rich guys buy fucking like Picasso's and shit, where you go, well, I don't know, man, it doesn't make any sense why the valuation of this Picasso is doubling.

But theoretically, they're just like, people are just taking their money and sinking it into collectibles as an alternate asset class. That's a tax scheme, the Picasso thing. But I see your point. Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's, if it's, holding value better than like a stock, you know, as long as you're not the last guy off the boat. They couldn't liquidate it. It's all about taxes. You're right. It's not liquid. That's the

biggest problem is. Well, they can't make it liquid either. Is the thing. Like, the valuations are fake. Like the market is fake. It's all a tax. With the art, what people can do is buy something for a hundred grand. Donate it for a theoretical two million. Oftentimes they even own the charity that they're donating it to. And then now they have a two million dollar right off. That's the But there are guys who straight up just invest in art as an actual investment. It's not only tax schemes. Like there are guys out there who go, I'm buying this because in 10 years, I'm going to flip it for $20 million. Sure.

And that's the, I mean, the friends and investment art is. Like, I've been into watches lately. I haven't actually bought any. There's nothing interesting to report. I just learn about them constantly. And a lot of people buy watches thinking that they're good investments. But like 90% of them are bad investments. And the good investments are.

worse than the S&P over time. I wonder how art compares to watches. Have you seen those fake Rolexes where the Rolex experts are like, yeah, we can barely tell the difference at this point. I've seen of them. I see the other side a lot, too, where they open it up and the experts are like, look at this. They didn't use the right screwdriver.

This thing slightly marred. They did this. They did that. And like, it instantly jumps out at them. But I have heard of those two where the fakes are so good that they can't tell, not easily, that I couldn't tell. Yeah, I don't know. I was on here talking about buying a bunch of Final Fantasy Magic cards.

And I was like, this is a good investment. And I paid, dude, I paid what, $500 a box? They're now up to like $1,600. So I go, well, I could have bought a stock or I should have just bought more Final Fantasy Magic cards, I guess. Are you going to realize your profits? Sell them now? I've slowly sold off a, like I sell like one every now and again, you know. It's like slowly piece it out.

dollar cost average my way off the rock the dude the worst one is uh they did lord of the rings magic cards and I was like ah who gives a shit about a Lord of the Rings I don't like Lord of the Rings that much and a Lord of the Rings box sold for 10 it was a $500 no at the one point those boxes were like 300 bucks one of them just sold for 10 K and I go oh my god I missed out of generational fucking wealth I got bought so many of those boxes at $300 each you might tank that you're like how is that like if you put all of your boxes on there. I don't know how rare these are of the Final Fantasy.

Like, you don't have enough to, like, cause the price to go down for the... Because I can't imagine it's a huge market of people who want to buy these. Yeah, it's hard to figure out the exact numbers of what's out there. It is a small enough market that I think, yeah, you have... You can buy out some of these markets, and that's why it's, like, tempting.

It's like, you could just control the supply. And that's what a lot of guys do with, like, Pokemon. It's like, there's guys who go, oh, I'm going to buy every one of these cards, and then I control the supply. lie and I can dictate the price. I saw that with that one dude who's like, he's buying every single first generation Cabuto,

which is a very crappy common Pokemon that wasn't even fun to play with in the games. I never actually played the card game. But like, if you own every single Cabuto, isn't it now worthless? Like, immediately, if I had a little thumb drive and every Bitcoin on Earth became,

mine, that's not ideal. Like, what am I going to do with it? Like, no one wants it anymore. The new thing's going to be started before I can even start. So people stop wanting it because you're the only owner? I would think so. Like, what do they get? Yeah, that's the core of the idea.

And I'm not sure if that's true or not, right? Like, if I owned every Mickey Mantle rookie card, it wouldn't be worth less, right? People still inherently want that. It'd be worth so much more if you had every single one of them because there's that someone would want to be the other guy who had one. Come on, it could be more. restricting the supply is totally viable. See, that's why this collectible market is so interesting.

It's like an unregulated stock market where you go, if this was stocks, you would be in jail. Like all the shit you're doing right now and the market manipulate. Like, did you see Logan Paul's documentary you just put out about this dumb fucking Pokemon card? No. I didn't see the documentary. I know the story barely. Well, no, he has a new one. So the first one he has was the one he wore around his neck, right?

The illustrator. And for, you know, like 10 years it comes to everyone. This is the greatest Pokemon card that ever existed. It's worth millions of dollars. And he eventually tricked a mentally ill man into buying it off and for what, like 10 million? I don't know if you saw the guy who bought it, but he was like on video and he's like, I'm setting up a global treasure hunt around the world. And you went, oh my God, he's insane.

Logan Paul tricked a mentally ill man into buying a Pokemon card. Okay. The new one, though, now Logan Paul's a new thing. He goes, I've actually found a Pokemon card that's better than that stupid one I used to wear around my neck. Get out. You did. Yeah. And here's the worst part is he made an entire documentary about how this is the best Pokemon card. He's going, it's the first Pokemon card because it came out of this magazine you bought as a kid in Japan.

You ripped it off the paper and you put, oh, I got a Pokemon card. And he's going, but even though there's literally billions of them out there because it came free with a fucking magazine, none of them are in PSA 10 condition. We're going to find the best one. And he made a two-hour documentary basically hyping up and shilling what should be a worthless piece. a cardboard and as a result the prices are slowly going up and Logan Paul who I'm sure has thousands of them sitting in a warehouse is like he he like it's just the most blatant obvious market manipulation and it's hilarious because it's for a children's game and they're

easily manipulated into spending money on things that are insanely common if he keeps conning people and grifting and abusing children He could be president. He could be president. Yeah. Has he started the crypto? It's a bright future. Didn't he have one of one point?

He has started a crypto. Trump's crypto stop. So now he has taken his crypto coin and that like business, which has lost something like 95% of its value. A lot of your coins coming back. You got to believe. Sure. Come on.

And he's taken his position as president and made his world trade, liberty, financial, whatever that company is called, an actual. bank with like uh what is the protection the fika or something fdic protection behind it so you just know we're bailing out trump's bank at some point as taxpayers or it could be at a dollar 40 right now woody maybe maybe this is the future this is the way now it may be down from what like forty five bucks no from yeah from 40 bucks but still not great

that's like that has reported over 1.4 billion in income from cryptocurrency ventures 635 million from the official Trump meme coin and 500 to 800 million from world liberty financial his token sales and business interest wing so retarded

this is his actual business talent conning people getting he's amazing at it did he do any uh he doesn't have happy customers he has marks. He should have had I'm surprised

he didn't get into the NFT thing. He did. Did he? Oh, yeah. Oh, I forgot. Don't you remember the playing cards? A.I. He's a cowboy,

an astronaut, a superhero. Trump loves AI pictures of himself, not being a fat piece of shit. And he sells pictures of it. He sold sneakers. I was going to bring up the Trump sneakers. I remember not getting the Trump sneakers and being like, I knew the sneakers

were going to sell. Yeah, I think he's going to deliver the phones. He took a lot of heat. So what happened is he was sold a phone as like the only made in America phone. And then he just never delivered it. And he changed the agreement to be you're not buying a phone anymore. What you bought is the right to get a phone if we ever decided to make one. And it got all this press, like negative press of how he wasn't actually going to deliver the phones.

So they're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, we'll deliver the phones. And now it's some made in China, a shitty phone. unsurprisingly. If I can share my screen real quick, I got to be real about the Trump shoes. The never surrender low tops are pretty tight. That's a nice looking shoe with the 45 on the back. I would rock the never surrenders. That's what a handsome shoe looks like now because it looks like.

I mean, this does look cheap as far. The stitching looks pretty bad now that I'm doing on it. That looks stupid to me. Like it's boxy and bulky. and it doesn't look like it flexes very well. That is a shoe. Maybe you're more of a POTUS 47 guy with the gold trim. What do you want?

I think I am. I think I am more of a POTUS 47 guy. I think these are definitely better looking than the never surrenders. Let's see. They got any other side? Look at those Trump boots. Yeah, the Trump fight for America boots. Go back and click on the Trump Fight for America boots.

All right. We've got to check out the 47s in a second. Oh, he's got the Kami stop. Numbered. Limited to a thousand, dude. Draf dodging boot. Yo. But they're signed.

They're not. These are sick. Dude. Fight for America. Oh, I just realized that around the back it says Trump. When it says MP,

I'm like, oh, so you get to LARP is like military police too. The Trump Cologne. The Trump Cologne bottle. Click that. Yeah,

hold on. I'll say. I want these, the black and reds, but they're sold out. The Trump Cologne looks great. Why do they? Why is he just ripping off Jordans in Air Force Ones?

And Nike. The Trump Cologne for men. They clearly rip off. Dude. Just be fat. Like now ever since you mentioned the like him as like a fucking logger in Ontario. Like I remember us making fun of how he is, he's not just not fat. He's like fit, broad shouldered, tapered waist.

Yeah. Like powerful stances. Yo, the fucking dollar sign Trump, low top blacks. Okay, you got, let's be clear. You got the five stars. You got the fight, fight, fight. You got the dollar signs. Then you got the black and gold.

That's a classic look, dude. That's a classic. That's a classic look. I love it. I'm more of a Trump 47 guy. Maybe I'm not cool. What about the first ladies for the ladies in your life? Oh, ho.

I'm passing on the first ladies. I mean, you know. You, the commanders are on sale. Yo. They don't have my size. Fido, you got to flip these. Oh, dude, I would be rocking the commander 47. All they have are my size.

Woody, it's a sign. You can be. There you go, Matt 11, dude. It's only $2.99. You can be stomping around. I'd be so much better and drifting than he is. Like, so he should, there should be more to these shoes. I want them to have, like, I want,

want there to be one called the commie stomper or something like that. I want there to be like a patriotism meter that fills up when I like pump the uh the little front part the tongue. Oh my God. The one that Trump is a superhero on it. That one. America superheroes? There's only a thousand and- Only a thousand.

249. Look at AIR. Wouldn't you know it every single size available for that one despite their only being a thousand? Yo! Oh, the inauguration edition. Fuck! These are totally sold out. Who is that?

He's, what is hanging on the Bible? I watched it. That's someone else's body with his head. It's kind of sitting there. That's not his hair. That's the commander. Nothing about that photo makes sense. Oh, my God.

There's one of them of the electoral map. He did a shoe that's the electoral map. Yeah, dude, Trump Nation, baby. The T-Nations, these are high. Honestly, the gold lip. The gold lip. The electoral map is at least honest. Everything else he has is full of shit.

it. Cosplaying is a non-draft dodger. Like, I don't know. Look at this beautiful shot of Trump. Look at this guy. Look at how fucking muscular he is here. He's got that tight jaw. He's got that tight jaw. I think they added a couple extra strokes in the hair.

Get that thick. Get it nice and quaffed. Okay, there's only like three different shoes. Yeah. And they're all. The oranges are sold out, though. I wanted those. How?

The golds. Oh my God. Trump won. 45, 47, the all gold low tops. Dude, there's no, there's no way that my girlfriend would be so mad if I bought her a pair of these. Yeah, it's pretty.

You guys you're all trying to get me to buy them. It's a sign and whatever. I wouldn't be able to get late anymore and I'm married. No, but you get her to ladies. You got Jackie a pair of first ladies. Like, what do you think that? It would almost be worth the reaction, right? I don't think she'd find the funny in it. She doesn't like Trump. Woody, it's victory edition.

These will never be remade. Okay? These are limited edition case. Imagine you earnestly present it. Like, honey, I know we don't usually do gifts like this, but I saw these and I thought of you. And I don't know, I just imagined you receiving them and it filled me with so much joy and love. Here you go. Limited to 500 pairs, Woody.

These will never buy a hundred. This is paired 327 of five. 500 lavender first ladies limited edition. You'd have to like pivot away from it being about Trump at all where you're like, and I got him because I just saw the side and you know what? You'll always be my first lady. Dude, look at Team Hunter Stiff in the low, oh man, I was trying to get a picture of this guy.

Look at him with the dog. He's got the low top blacks. Tag us on Instagram. I mean, same kid. I guess the same. Same kid over and over again. They have three photos. It looks like AJ.

It does look like AJ. Is it three photos or two? I think he's just two, right? No, because he got the guy. Look, he's walking tall in the golds, bro. He's got the presidential low tops. He's stomping. The other guy is sitting.

Except that guy in the suit isn't even wearing them. He's just wearing regular shoes. What do you want to see? What do we got? I kind of wanted to see the lady up there that was it. There was like that photo. Yeah, I wanted to get a better shot of that. Let's see.

That looks weird to me. Oh, that's what's her name? Ruby Rose, right? Or whatever her name is. Is that Ruby Rose? She's got the golds. Who's that? Whatever that black like porn star, like, uh, whatever.

Is it really a porn star? I was going to joke. I never remember porn star's names. What's her name? I think that, isn't that or not? Not Ruby Rose, but I know who you're talking about. That's that white dyke chick that's cute. Um, this is somebody else.

It's something else. The smiley faces on the stars are a little gauche. you know, just look, just have them clean. How about just the slides? These are just classy. This is just a classy look. I mean, those are, I mean, you walk out on your New York penthouse

wearing your Trump slides for very reasonable. You open the door to the DoorDash guy and he looks down. He goes, Trump slides, huh? Yope, yep. We're doing good. Look at these gold golf shoes with the big T. Oh, yeah, dude. Trump golf.

So these are just all private label shoes where he just sent. Chinese designs. You need to buy some. Otherwise, those poor little Vietnamese kids working to their fingers for no reason. The motherfucking landslides.

So these little stomping around town in these. Look at the logo, dude. Look at that. I mean, that's just a Doc Martin. Look, Fong Lee says they're beautiful. Many people have given compliments.

If they're good enough for Fong Lee, they're good enough for me. look at those landslides on this man cram those pants in there is that how you're supposed to wear those you're not supposed to wear your pants over the boots he's wearing a military style because he's

standing back and standing by and he's ready to go that's a very all these American shit everybody's happy with their purchase I wanted to know where they were made because I was kind of it's hard to make stuff in America

they just keep that a secret where they're made yeah I think it's I think they're being made in some sweatshop, obviously. I could see them pulling some tricky stuff a lot of companies do where they're like made in America, but it's like they just import the components that were made everywhere else and then, yeah, slap it together here. But pretty...

I went down the Amber Rose Rabbit Hole to all the way. Amber Rose, is that her name? Yeah, yeah, here you go. Here are her photos there. I've seen her like, there was a controversy because she was supporting Trump and she was at the, like, maybe the RNC, C convention or like one of those big like get together. The one where Hulk Hogan ripped his shirt off and supported the president, all that

shit. Yeah, good time. Trying to see if I can get a size 13. Those shoes are genuinely not that bad. And there's a couple pairs that I would buy for the lulls. But they're so overpriced. Yeah, like, 300 bucks for a laugh. That's, I would never pay.

Yeah. Like, if they were $100, I'd totally buy a pair of those. But $300 is outrageous. Like, I could buy a nice pair of shoes for that. Have you seen anything? My issue is always like I find out like what the original was and they're 10% of the price. Of course they are. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're paying for that Trump artwork. Yeah. So when I learned I paid $300 for $30 Walmart sneakers, I feel stupid. It's a complete grip. If he had went out and he was if it was literally like this is leather made from Texas cows only, hand stitched by Texans. You know what that rubber's made out of? rubber for once from a rubber tree. If he broke it down like that,

and I was like, it's the, the shoe strings are made from American hemp. That's what he did with the phone. It's got a lifetime warranty. I'd be like, oh my God, these are American shoes. But no, they're not. They're Chinese $30 sneakers that cost $3 to make.

And now he's charging 10 times what the normal markup is. It's crazy. I've seen, like, I don't know anything about the sneakerhead culture. But have you seen those like shorts or clips on social media where like people have a whole room of them? And I guess they dry rot if you don't wear them for like four or five years. And so it'll just show someone like taking out what looks like a brand new shoe.

And then he like barely squeezes the soul. And it's it's like powder. It's like it explodes into it's like splintering. That's why the vintage Jordans make no sense. These guys are like, oh, this is like a 50,000 pair of vintage Jordan. You're like, can you like wear them? it's like, no, they'll just little great fucking end game. It feels like sneakers shouldn't be collectibles then.

Yeah. No. They really shouldn't. Because you couldn't even enjoy all of your sneaker. I usually, I have like one pair of tennis shoes and I wear them until they are borderline falling apart. And then I just buy another one. And usually if I had good luck with that exact kind, I just look like up that exact kind again. And then just re-up.

That's serious dad behavior. Well, you know, why change a winning formula? Dude, I'm about ready for new sneakers. What happened is Vavity, friend of the show, recommended my last sneakers a few years ago. And out of the blue, I must have received like 12 compliments on those sneakers. Do you know how uncommon it is for guys, especially me to get commented on their clothes? Like, commented, not going for complimented on their clothes.

And so I'm like, next time I'm any sneakers, I got to hit Vobody for the fashion. advice. What was them? Or what was them? What were they? Some sort of black Adidas. They were a little more like stylists than I would have picked out of my own because they're like really mesh sort of looking things. And but everyone loved them and I felt confident in them for that reason because I got compliments out of the blue. I want that again. Nice. I was looking up sneakers recently because I like at the end of that cycle where they're just like almost squeaky because like the back is falling apart. And I just was looking on Amazon trying to get some ideas looking at regular sneakers. And the ones that I thought looked really neat where I'm like, ah, I like these are just kind of

normal plane looking. And they were Air Force ones. And I was like, I can't. I can't buy Air Force ones and just be a big boy stomping. Like that's just not something I can do at this point in my life. Get knockups. Well, it's not because of the cost. It's because like I pictured myself immediately like sitting down with like friends like on a couch like at like a grill and chill and like having my leg on my other leg and I guarantee someone be like those Air Force ones and I'd have to be like old of me why are they bad well it's because like there's that song from Nelly about them and I know my friends would sing it at me air force ones it's just because they're like this default like it's a black rapper shoe that's it yeah like every black rapper has 20 pairs it's almost like basic bitch

like fake luxury. You remember the song. I remember I had a pair of White Air Force ones. You might be overestimating my Nelly expertise. You get to stompin in your Air Force ones. This is not ringing your bell.

I literally never heard this song. I get to stomp in my Air Force one. I'm going to you too. What's the song called? Is it called Air Force One? pair. I need two pair. That probably

came out like 20 years ago. It did. And I remember it was like 2002, 2003 and I remember my buddy Blake, I came to school wearing those Air Force ones and my buddy Blake was like, damn Kyle, those Air Force ones, you bought, oh, everybody look out. Kyle's about to start stompin.

I was about to start stompin in his Air Force ones. And I was filled with so much game. I was like, I was like, in my big boy's shoes and I thought you don't like them. The worst feeling in the world is when you think you've done something cool. And the one kid at school sees right through and he goes, Oh,

he stomp around him. Yeah, Fox ones. Lott and Lottie. Slake would bring me every single time I tried to take one step out of my little square of comfort zone. I remember I wore some and one shorts one time when we played a little. Oh.

Oh, Oh, Kyle's about to break out those and one skills, guys. Why is my friend the best at roasting people? No way past Kyle the Rock. He's about to go nuts on the court. No, I'm not, but I like the videos. Those videos were amazing. Dude, I've watched an hour once and one videos,

and then I'd go, like, put my shorts on and go outside, and it would not turn out the same. I can be I can buy that sure I heard I've never heard that song before I just put it up pulled it up on YouTube yeah that's crazy it was what year to come out like 2010 2002 2003 I think I was in a country music phase around then I was like working for a living and it was new to me and I got away from all my heavy metal rock and roll and rap and just wanted music that didn't yell at me it's like I didn't You were maturing. You're like, you know what? I don't know I'd be anxious for music. That I was suffering. That R. Kelly song was big that year.

Like, it's the remix to Ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen. Mama rolling that body got every man and new. I know the whole song. We're playing that game later. I like that one. I'm looking forward. You're going to be the only one who knows, or maybe Vita in a song lyrics. Yeah, we're doing a song.

Not after like recent. I have no idea where Zach has pulled these lyrics from. I don't expect much. What if he has a band? That'd be the funniest possible thing. Seeker culture kind of dead now. Like Nike, you saw Nike stocks at like an all-time low or some shit? Yeah, but Nike's just not the hip company.

I'm old, right? So for me- What are the kids buy for sneakers? Adidas? Adidas. Puma's had a time in the sun. I don't know. A new balance.

I'm looking. Like, Nike had it like, like, locked up but then just I don't know what happens. It's still Nike. It's the top selling brand. Yeah. Yeah.

By a lot. I think they just have so much competition though from all these like new rent because everybody realized now they're like Ali Baba. You could start a sneaker company tomorrow and just take Chinese sneakers and put your own logo on them. I see a lot of A6 and a lot of HACA. Is it HACA or Hoka?

HOKA. I don't know. I've been thinking HOKA. Those ones with the giant soul. for like running. Dude, they're the best. I had foot issues, so I went to like my orthopedic surgeon and whatever. And he watched me walk. He's amazing. Like he watched me walk for like 12 steps.

He's like enough. I already figured it out. And he had me by, I thought they were hookas. I don't know. And insoles. I replaced the standard insoles with like aftermarket insoles that he told me to get. I'm like six, six in these motherfuckers side. But they squeak.

So I'm wearing stilts. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. I am a little bit cooler and less cool at the same time. Towering over people, causing a ruckus. Oh, well, you got an oil. I'm not actually six, six in them. But I do think they add like an inch. It feels like a lot.

It's not bad. Yeah, I went to R slash sneakers to see what their, like, vibe is. And I think I need to go to top of this year instead of all time, because there were no all-time posts that were even like on the front page. It was all from like 10 years ago. And I just, I just don't get it. One of them is a guy that says Chicago Fire Department saved a collector's shoe collection. And it's just a ton of sneakers that are probably dry rotting in a bunch of those like cheap black plastic like pull out shelves.

Like dozens of pairs. Guys, cats burn into death. and he's like just what a I don't get it like I can't I do plenty of dumb stuff too but this just seems like such a ridiculous thing to collect my favorite ones are the

when the scalpers get caught hold in the bag I saw a video of some some guy he's just going why did I buy 300 pairs of the green Nike 2018s I'm like that is an ugly shoe should not about that many of that shoe he's like opening each box he's going these suck I can't sell these fucking things.

What happened to Trump sneakers? Some guy paid $9,000 to like get a head to fine and get his Trumpson. Get ahead on the Trump sneakers? He should have just waited. Dude, I found a post with it's, I married my best friend rocking some off whites and it's like

a dude wearing sneakers as the groom. Like that looks absurd because maybe there's one other sneaker head there. He's like, oh man, man, those off white very basic looking Nike's, how classy. everyone else is like, did he know it was today? I would think black sneakers would be the classy choice.

Oh, I can't even take a judge. I just open the comments. The black Air Force ones are known as the shoe of the like thug assassin criminal. That's what a real gang bang. That's gangbanger footwear. Apparently I share a fashion sense with the gangbangers. Yeah, you're a real black Air Force kind of guy. People say that.

Yeah, you've got black Air Force energy. Mm-hmm. I have to defend like a nice pair of like Air Jordans but I go in there and it's like 150 bucks and I go they're not that nice No I don't even know what those look like I remember in like middle school and uh maybe it was all the way back in middle school when Nike shocks came out those were like pretty briefly cool like in middle school and I remember just like having it in my head like wow this is like a futuristic shoe not knowing it's just like garbage crammed into a pillar that's slightly like textured. I thought it would actually make you jump higher. The shoe,

the guy who like convinces you what shoe to get, man. I was watching, I was watching an old news story about the like most successful news sales, uh, sneaker shoe salesman in New York back in the 80s. And it's like this guy hustles. He sells 100 pairs of shoes a day. I remember the shoe salesman.

I was a kid. And my mom was like, we just want like a sensible shoe. And he came out of the back room with like a stack of boxes. And it's like Nike. deed is whatever. And at the bottom, L.A. Lights. And I'm like, oh, shit. And then I'm like, he kept going through all the shoes. I'm like, yeah, these suck, these suck, these suck, these suck. And I guess the bottom I put on the L.A. lights that had the fucking, when you, when you step,

they fucking light up. And I'm like, I feel like the L.A. lights are right for my life. It's like a six-year-old kid. My mom's going, my mom would like, look glared at the salesman. She's like, you know what you were doing. I had those when I was either six or seven. And they were a big deal. We all had them. And I can, I can, I can, I can, I can see it now. I, I, I, in that hallway, we all went to the bathroom together when you're in first grade. Like, they just get like, all right, now we're all going to go pee to get. And, and like, I just remember each of us standing in line. And as we were walking, everybody was light in the hallway up. Like, we all had those fucking LA lights. They were, they were so cool. So I'm surprised nobody's doing the LA lights anymore.

They lit up. My parents always made me work. I never like, not had a job. And when I was, I was 15. I worked at Leon's men store. Now, the bulk of the customers are what you'd expect, like dads and shit like that. And we sold shoes. I was that shoe salesman guy. Anyway, my boss, for whatever reason, bought a gabilion pairs of those Chuck tailors, but they were like fashionable with like paint splatters on them and printed like cartoon animals and shit like that. Now, all a sudden, cute girls are coming into Leon's men store to pick up their Chuck tailors. And here's 15 year old Woody hoping to get upskirts because that was back of the day when you put shoes on the customers. It never happened. Not even a single. Oh, no, this is a this is a barefoot shoe.

You can't pop those on. Yeah. Now give me a, give me. Those socks are actually bad. I'll throw them out for you. Just leave me. Oh, you come in with no socks on. So to try a shoe on, we had to put these, they were called pads. It's like a little nylon that just goes up to their ankle. And I would put the nylon on an unsocked, like, do you know what an unsocked foot is when it comes out of his shoe? It's a horrendous thing. I'm like, oh, God, it's a hard way to earn $3 an hour. That's just so funny. The idea of you've always hoping for something to happen with the cute girls and the Chuck Taylor's and just never.

You're like, oh, I dropped your shoe. What do you, he'll help Bob. He's a size 15 and he needs to find a new work boot. And you're like, oh, oh. What I think I would do is no matter what age my customer was for the shoe salesman job, I'd do what they did to me when I was a kid where I'd be like, all right, how is feeling? All right, go ahead and give me a sprint over there. There I'm back.

See how that feels running because that's what they used to do to me. I don't know. That's genius. And I used to like run in them as like a little kid and be like, I'm definitely faster. Like definitely fast. I can feel it. I used to stand on like angled things and be like, I have so much more traction than I used to. I'm damn near Spider-Man

on this 45-degree concrete the grip on these is pretty solid. There was a super cute girl. She was there with her mom and in my head I fantasized of asking her, is there anything I can do to you instead of for you?

Like a fucking idiot, I went up and said that. I yeah. And then I corrected it. I'm like, for you, for you, as I can do for you. And they just said no,

and that was the end of the interaction. 15 minutes later, my boss comes to me. And I'm fired. I can't believe I'm fucking fired. And he goes up behind me, puts his hands on both shoulders. He says,

Hey, Woody, is there anything I can do to you? He thought it was so funny. I wasn't. You know, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So I'm proud of you. That's a shot you should not take.

I'm not proud of. No, no. That was always exciting. Like, when you were very little and you got a new pair of sneakers, and I would always think, like, I'm going to be better at playground games tomorrow. Like, I'm going to be better at gym tomorrow. Kickball. You kickball fuckers are going down.

Oh, yeah. It's going to, you know, just explode off this. I got the wide toe, more surface area. Giant fucking sketchers or whatever I was wearing. I don't even remember. Are sketches? What was the reputation of those? Were they cool?

Through middle school, I like them, but that doesn't say a lot. Yeah, I remember Healy's being sick when I was in like sixth grade. Dude, I never had Healy's. I thought about getting adult Heelies. I have my Healy's.

They're downstairs. I have Healys. I have helies. I was on Amazon. This was years ago. And I'm like, all right. Healy's. Oh, they got a lot of 13s.

So let's go ahead and find this. Then I like scooted around on them like maybe once down like part of my sidewalk. And I was like, this is a psychotic. I can't want my neighbor's. I thought about getting them. But then I'm like, then there's going to be an Instagram video that goes, look at this fat guy on these heelies. And I'm just going to be like, I should not have been scooting around them all. No.

Tragedy today. And there was no good way to stop on them that didn't make you look like a goober other than just letting your natural momentum end. Because if you were still going too quick, you had to like go into like a slight jog, which now you're not looking lack of days like and too cool for school. You're looking like you're like slowing down with a jog from your two. Dude, you do a barrel wall. The fact that you can convert them into regular sneakers for when. this situation calls for that it's genius and they're more efficient it we should all be wearing helies that's not a trend that should have stopped yeah you make a good point the efficiency

i think well i think the reason that we i think they're like listen to you fat asses fucking walk and we're not putting wheels on every american you're already if i ever go back to disney world i'm buying the whole family wheelies at the start of the trip and we're going to be the bell of the ball imagine the like six of us rolling around did i tell you so the line it had that Dude, I've been living in L.A. for like 10 years. And finally, a fan reached out. And he said, hey, I work at Disney. I got free tickets to give away.

Do you want to go to Disneyland? I was like, yes, this is going to be awesome. And he's like, okay, but they're a limited thing. You can only go this week. I'm like, that's fine. I'm going to go. And like two days before I had to go to Disney, I came down with the, I don't know. I like threw out my back so bad that I was like in horrific pain.

I'm just like, oh, oh, and then my friend who I was going to Disney with was like, oh, that's cool. You can just get a scooter. And I'm like, a what? And she's like, yeah, yeah, they got like mobility scooters you could rent. And I went, oh, no, I don't want to be the fat guy at Disney with the mobility scooter. Dude, a fan saw me. And I'm so glad he didn't take a picture.

He's like, yo, was your fat ass riding a mobility scooter around the fucking teacups? And I'm like, yeah, I was at Disney. And he's like, oh, man, I should have took a picture. You would have fucking gotten roasted for days. So you did decide to do it. You were like, well, I got these tickets. There was no other way to go to Disney. like I couldn't walk.

I was stuck in a mobility scooter at Disney. And that's when I became a true American. Dude, wasn't it awesome to be in that mobility scooter? Dude, I understood the appeal instantly. It has a little like horn so you can like, people are walking slow and you're like, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, me, me, me. Priblet cheer.

Out of the way. I'm heading for the ride to the front of the line. And we go, you got a special cripple line, right? I think a couple times, but now I think they make you get a pass at the front. I think they make you go like, hey, I'm actually disabled. I don't know. I can't remember exactly how they handled it. If you shaved your entire head.

I bring my wheelchair every time I go to Six Flags. Like you could have looked like you had a terrible disease, and then I bet they would have let you up there. Just fully like Walter Whitehead. Where'd you get them black dogs? Same dogs. Where'd you get them black dogs? That's a chocolate, a deep chocolate.

A dark chocolate, Kyle. He had silver dog. No, dogs were enormous. Yeah, I've never been to Disneyland. I went to Disney World as a little kid. How dope are these? Those are pretty nice, actually.

Great. Yeah. In my closet. Yeah. But if you try to walk with the wheel in and not scoot, so loud. I don't know if I still have the cover.

There's like a little plastic thing. I guess you keep it in your pocket. Pop this out. put the plastic in. They should go. Yeah. They should go into the shoe. Wait,

how does it work? They come out. But you have to take the shoe off every time you want to take it out? No, I think you can do it while you wear it. No, am I wrong? If you're flexible.

I mean, I guess you can sit and, you know. He probably hasn't been out in 15 years. It might be part of it. Yeah. They go back in real easy. They'll just pop right in there.

Yeah. I know they must be fun because of how many stores I go into. two that are like you're not allowed to have healings in here. Dude, they're so cool. I wonder if I can still wheelie. I bet you can. Yeah, you can. Pop a wheel.

Do you want me to? Yeah, yeah, pop a wheel. Yeah, I remember the same way that they shut down Game Boys in grade school because Pokemon was so prolific and everybody was just playing on the playground. They were like, no, you can't do this. You can't just like trade to get Al-a-Zam and the champ. You have to like run around and play Dodgeball or Tetherball or whatever. they had that same thing with Helies

where slowly like lice helies spread throughout sixth grade until every kid was just sprinting as fast as they could and then just wheeling down the carpeted halls. What if he falls and cracks his head and literally dies? He's not. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

For those of you heard audio only, you just missed a treat. Woody is, oh my, I mean, it's some of the most impressive. it's incredible. He glides like there's no friction in that room. Incredible. Yeah.

It's incredible. 15 years untouched. Still high quality. I like that rug. Still got it. Still got it. It's a bit a while, but I think in a few minutes I could get that.

I think it looked cool. I think it is cool. If you could have, like if you would have done one of those and I guess 15 minutes from now, you'd be doing that where you start off going straight and then you reverse, go backwards for a little bit. Then you switch back to the front and go forwards. 15 minutes from now. That was my cardio for August.

Oh. You got Reebok Healy's now? Rebock bought Healy's or something? Dope. Oh. Maybe we'll bring them back. Have you seen the new season of tires? I have not. I only heard it was good. So good. I heard people say it was funny.

All right. So like I watched the first season of that show like last year, year before or whatever. It's six episodes the first season. You know, they're experimenting. I'm sure Netflix wasn't. Shane wasn't nearly as big of a star. It's okay. I didn't love it the first time I watched it. Then the second season came out and I was like, well, let me rewatch the first season,

so it ties into the second season. I did that. And I liked the first season more, and I like the second season a good bit. I was like, this is really good for someone who's like never made a sitcom before. Like, this is very good. And he's an okay actor.

I think in the second season, he came off oftentimes as like too much of a bully or too unlikable. They're kind of like, walking a fine line between like class clown and bully and like sometimes they'd lean too far into bully this third season is tremendous they really focused the the show on a couple of different characters and their relationships and followed like two or three different funny interesting and well done plot lines it's a good it's a good fucking show i was blown away i watched the whole

season in one sitting uh like watched it all fucking night uh, Part of how I ruined my sleep schedule last couple weeks ago or something. I really liked it. Tire season three is great. Those Amazon shows only have like eight or ten episodes or Netflix. They only have like eight or ten episodes a season. So you can breeze through them. I was like, I put the office on the other night just as like a falling asleep to it show.

And I forgot that it's like, oh, season two, which episode will I put on? It goes up to like 26. they have like 26 episodes in every fucking season like that show must have had hundreds and hundreds of episodes despite only being on like what nine years

eight nine years and now they don't do that anymore now they're fucking lazy as hell popping out 10 once a year I think a lot of things changed like the quality went way up and the expectations of quality went way up for something like the office is a little different

because it's really writing dependent we're just kind of in this one set doing stuff with the same troop of actors, but for something like Game of Thrones or House of the Dragon, one of those really CGI dependent, like, all right, this episode has 180 horses and 300 extras,

and we're going to be filming in Sicily and also on the steps of Mongolia. It's like, that's not a regular TV episode that you can crank 26 episodes out of, and I'm okay with that. But the problem is when... Tires you could, though. Mid-tier television thinks that it's,

premier television. Well, Tires is a little different too, because I don't know if Shane is capable of, he doesn't have 26 episodes of material. Like, that's a thing too. When you're doing a Star Trek, like if you're doing Star Trek, like a new Star Trek, dude, we can write 26 episodes if we want to. There are 26 Star Trek ideas, like I promise you, it's getting them on the screen and produced.

With Tires, I think it's more of an issue of like, he doesn't have 26 episodes of storyline material. You could like Madlib your way into new episodes of like law and order SVU or NCS where it's like, uh, we had some weird Russian guy be the bad guy. How about someone from Afghanistan this time?

And they're both still terrorists and they don't figure out at first, but then a fingerprint pops up. But in the other one, they'll find a tooth. Like that's, it's all the same shit. Well, network sitcoms have a way different, you know, uh,

revenue model than like a Netflix show. Like a network sitcom, they're like, we just want something to play ads in between. so make as many of these as you possibly fucking can we want to do one every week where the Netflix they're like nah just pop it up there you know some people will watch and then they'll watch something else yeah they're hoping Netflix and then they're hoping that like one in every 25 shows they green light will become enough of a destination show that people will get them for at least a few months to to watch through it because i know people who signed sign just for the office yeah i i had

Netflix for a couple years just because of Seinfeld and because I would forget to cancel it. Because every month I'd go on there and scroll around and be like, this is all just trash. Yeah, I finally canceled basically everything other than Hulu. I think I just, I don't know, I watch Family Guy every now and again maybe. Actually, the King of the Hill, the Hill revival is really good. I only watched the first season of that. I think there's a second one out now, but it wasn't bad. I didn't like how unlikable they made Connie because,

Connie was like snooty in the original show. And then they just like really kind of made her like a legitimate bitch in the remake. And it's like, you should have made Connie nicer and like have a little better rapport with Bobby. But as far as we'll figure it out. Maybe she'll figure it out. I mean, the problem is that in real life if a girl like Connie did exist, she wouldn't fall into the trap of, oh, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. And you know, and you're like, yeah, that tracks with the modern woman. Yeah.

Then they like how all this. But she's finding her way back to Bobby. It's going to work. It's going to work out. Too many characters are dying. John Redcorn, dead. John Redcorn. Dale Gribble, dead.

That's not good. The guy who's doing Dale Gribble, I forget his name, is actually doing a real good job. It's like surprising. That's good, then. I still feel bad. He's the former voice of Khan. So they wouldn't let him do Khan anymore because he's a white guy.

But they get Johnny Hardwick. No, no, that's the original voice. They stripped Khan from him. Yeah. Yeah, they said, you can't do Khan anymore. We have to get a rent. The worst part is they didn't even find a Lae Ocean guy in Hollywood. It's always like, oh, the voice actor has to match.

It's like, oh, you're going to find a La Ocean guy to do con. They go, no, just like some Asian guy. It don't really matter. Yeah, just the skin tones match my idea of this. Then it's fine. Yeah, that's retarded. Like, you're losing too many people and having to change too many voices at a necessity to suddenly just on a whim be like, oh, also, we're going to change this guy for the fuck of it.

You can't do it because you're a white guy. And that voice that was like, like, Khan's voice was very funny throughout the whole show. Yeah, the new con is terrible. That's a bummer. But so, yeah, they took Khan away from Toby Huss, also known as Artie, the strongest man in the world. But now he does Dale Gribble. And he's surprisingly doing a good, he's like kind of nailing it, I got to say. Doing a good Dale Gribble.

I need to watch that. that show works for me in the in the 2000s. It's not as good. Not even close. I think it's as good. I think it's equal. It's still fucking man, Mike Judge is just good at just hitting the zeitgeist.

He is good, but you know, I did watch the whole first season. And again, like every time I was like, this is not bad for a remake, but this isn't fucking real king of the hill. Like the original,

the OG blows out of the water. The funny thing is I want more of the, because the story is that Hank went to go handle propane in the United Arab Emirates or whatever. I'm like, man, I want more of these flashbacks of him like... Yes. See, can I tell you... It's super interesting.

That's what the show should have been. It would have been really good to just have that. That's what the show should have been. Go for five years, not 10 or 15 or whatever they did. And Bobby's like going to college or whatever in the fuck in Saudi Arabia or wherever, like trying to meld into that society. and being his weird self. Like he thought like Texas was conservative,

but he's going to be a real like stand out in Saudi and Saudi Arabia, I bet. Like that would have been fun. Like that would have been wearing a hijab and like trying to learn Arabic and shit. It's like all of that. Oh yeah. The first day would be like Bobby being like, Dad, I love these robes. Like he's unbelievable.

They feel so good against my skin, Dad. Bobby don't get too used to this. I'd much rather see that show. I'd much rather see that show. It seems like whenever they, like Star Trek's in a weird place because I think Strange New Worlds, I don't know if you've been watching it

this season, Woody. They've got one more season after this, but they've already even canceled. So next season is like a half season. It's only six episodes, and they'll have to close the whole thing out. So this season, they're getting like experimental.

Every episode is a whole different thing. The first one has time travel dinosaurs. The first episode, The second episode is literally the scariest, most graphic, gory Star Trek episode, or even, including movies that's ever happened. It was scary. It was like a Vent Horizon. I thought it was, yeah, I liked it.

That episode, but is the season good? Me and my girlfriend like it, but we really like all the characters and the actors. So that might be tainting our opinions of the show. The third or fourth episode, I can't remember which, is like a noir. It's literally in black and white. white because they're in a star system where the star there doesn't makes black and white light or something like that. I don't remember the mumbo jumbo, but it's in black and white and they're on a planet where the Klingons are in charge and there's a underground resistance, but everybody

on the planet dresses like noir, like trench coats and top hats and stuff. And I don't know. It's been a, I like it. I like it. Jackie and I like it too. We haven't seen the season, but we like it traditionally. There's nothing after this. Like there's no like plan. There's nothing in the pipeline for Star Trek next. They made a all the shows are canceled basically or getting canceled. They're closing the door on everything.

Wait, there's not a single Star Trek project after this? So there's Star Trek. I know the Academy got canceled. Yeah, yeah, the Academy one, but I think that's I think they're making a second season, but it's already been canceled basically. Like that's not going to go past a second season.

Picard's over. Lower Dex is over and Strange New World's ends after a episode like half season next year. Oh, they're fucked. That's like the only, like Paramount Plus is just the Star Trek subscription service as far as I've understood it. It says here they're taking a deliberate pause to map out its next creative era. But man, people are just going to drop their Paramount subscription.

There's no new Star Trek. I don't know why they're so hesitant to take the next step forward. So we had the, in the 60s, obviously, you had Captain Kirk in the enterprise and that, that cheesy original series. And then in the late 80s and early 90s, they did the next generation. We need another step forward like that. Like go 15 years or 20 years,

whatever's appropriate forward in the timeline, and go. Now what's happening? Like stop going back in fucking time. Stop doing alternate realities and universes. I don't need all that. You could fill in the gaps maybe in what hasn't been shown

because they really haven't shown us what happened too much between Kirk and Picard in between that period of time like we haven't seen a ton of that but just go forward I'd like to see a show like take one step forward and I just want to see them explore space

and do science shit every episode doesn't have to be a war with like lasers everywhere that's what I wish they do I'm just really of the belief that like the whole never-ending franchise that endures for like a hundred years and a million shows is just

always bad storytelling it's like once you tell a couple good stories in a universe. Like, I don't know, man. What? A bunch of guys are going to be on a spaceship and meet some aliens and learn a lesson. I've seen that. You know, you're right, but I feel like you don't have to be.

Like, it seems like there's a whole new race we could learn in Star Trek. Like, there's new things we could do. The clam joclars, and they can only see in jammed vision and their covers of jelly. It's like, whatever. Like, there's nothing left to be done there. If anything, I just want somebody to go over the new space show. We've resurrected George Washington, Carver, to lead the peanut people in the battle against the jam jerks.

The jam jellians. Yeah, it's all stupid at a certain point. I like the allegories. I like when like our modern day things are sort of displayed and better realized using that futuristic tapestry. And that's what they were famous for and like some of their best episodes. Some of their best episodes to me are just people sitting and like debating a topic about like what makes it. There's one. Maybe it's called the measure of a man.

they're trying to figure out if this android has like enough like personhood to say no you can't take me apart you can't study me I'm me yeah I'm an on person was that data or not yeah yeah it's data how about this you let me hit you with this hose and then we'll see and then you just he'd all fizzle out and be like you're not real you're a robot they have a they literally do something like that

the guy comes up to him and takes his arm off to prove like you're not a person let me take your arm off real quick and he's like well that doesn't mean and he goes boop and like presses his off button and turns him fucking off and he's like see not even a fucking person and it's like his best friend who's the prosecutor

like trying to prove that he's not a person so there's all this interpersonal conflict where he's like Mr. Dato I'm so sorry for what I had to do there is no command you you represented your side correctly it is the it's great I'm sick of this fucking guy I love that shit

You know, it's a good point. Like the best Star Trek stuff are the moral dilemmas. And you would think now in an age, well, in an age now where AI is becoming an actual thing. You don't think the interesting like, hey, the prime directive says I can't interfere with this, you know, planet. It's an eternal war or whatever, you know. Like, that was always the interesting kind of Star Trek. The worst of Star Trek to me is the stuff that could have been an email. The best of Star Trek is when they have like an MMA fight.

motorcross guy, bass jumper solved some problem. That's what I'm here for. Yeah. Or any of them ever like, Captain, I don't know what to think. She's a 500 year old vampire, but looks like a six year old. They took out the minors by playing the Beastie Boys. That was terrific.

There's an episode where one of the characters has a four-year-old like girlfriend, fiance. She's four, but her species like age is extra fast. And everybody acts like it's not creepy. It's creepy, Neelix. She's four. I wouldn't let that person on my ship because if she dies of old age at like nine, that's just, that'd be like getting a big pet for the shit. Everyone's going to be in a bad mood. That's what fucking happens, dude. That's spoilers. That's

what, exactly. I'm not going to let her on the ship. What happens? Kess, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they're, like, they're, like, they're, like, they're, like, she's, she's, she's, like, she's, like four years old and a haughty but they're like man she's on borrowed time here she really needs to move on with her life and have kids and get married and like get moving I imagine William Shatner on this

ethical dilemma like if there's grass on the field lay ball I'm just pretty much so hornah yeah no I mean like black mirror was like exciting because

for a second there until it kind of got bogged down and the hey did you ever think maybe your cell phone's bad and you're like yeah I know I like the idea that dude we are living in a weird rapidly advancing technological world but any time I turn into like a Star Trek show now they're like the Romulans are firing a torpedo at the Vulcans and I go well this doesn't raise any fucking ethical or moral questions that I care to have answered I'm okay I want like a Twilight Zone fucking show that's a great show I like I like the serialized and that Star Trek

was kind of long the same way of like sitting down and being like okay but what's the episode about, you know? And then it kind of just became like a schlock adventure serial. I agree with all that. I want the mix, though. I like the mixture of cave episode, bottle episodes is what they're called. Where you could be stuck in an elevator, you're stuck in a cave, and the character

sit there and talk and work their fucking like dilemma out technically. And I also like the big moral dilemma allegory episodes where it's about racism or class struggle or drug addiction or any number of things. Like I like all that, the bigger purpose episodes.

But I like fucking the late seasons of Deep Space Nine when it's a war. When like another like galactic army has come through a wormhole and they're on our doorstep, wiping our planets out and billions of people are dying. And the Federation is fighting in giant armadas of hundreds of ships and the Klingons have joined. And the Romulans have joined. And like this group has this technology that's going to help us. And we're all working with our old enemies to take on this new foe. I liked all that.

what I was actually thinking when I said the moral dilemmas were stupid and gay. That kind of thing is what I like. I saw this on Twilight Zone before the topic changes, though. Watching an old Twilight Zone episode where a man becomes obsessed with a devil machine coin fortune teller. The machine gives generic answers, but becomes paralyzed, unable to make a decision without consulting it. Anyway, these episodes are a bit far-fetched. I thought that was funny. It's an AI reference.

Uh-huh. That was great. Shandner and his girlfriend just going to the demon fortune teller and they're like, should we leave town tomorrow? And they put a coin and he's like, you know, ask me on Wednesday. Shetner goes, Wednesday, but I can't.

And you're like, what are you? His answers are like actually meaning. Pop in another quarter. Is AI? Like, okay, what amazing things have we seen in our lifetime, right?

Like the connectivity of the internet is like an actual thing that kind of changed the planet in some ways. Yeah. Some of the processing power we have now. Like it was a fair. fantasy to me. The idea that like I could speak in English and it would just go to Japan and Japanese and they would speak in Japanese and this translator is now that's a phone app that like any one of us could find. Is AI an actual technological leap in the same way that the internet was or is it just Google that summarizes? Definitely is.

I think I mean like I think you're conflating language models with with generalized AI or like AI in general I should say because. because generalized AI is a specific thing. I think the language models are overtowded and they're treated like some sort of demon genie that can do anything and tell you anything when it really is just a Reddit aggregator, like just copy pasting for me. But I think from what I've read,

it seems like that technology is kind of like a genie that's been let out of the bottle that's going to keep sort of evolving, seems like the right word, and just be better and more sophisticated every year. Those robots that China's making, like I feel like when you couple that AI with those autonomous robots, we're going to see some weird shit in five to ten years. I'm ready for the cyberpunk dystopic future that we are clearly heading toward. Yeah, I haven't seen AI that's not just a Reddit aggregator.

I mean, it's a little better than that, but mostly like it looks up product manuals and tells me what they say. Have you tried making any like video content, like image content, whatever else? Songs. Yeah, music. Yeah, yeah. I mean, dude, like, okay, my YouTube channel, I've been like, man, I hate making thumbnails, this sucks. And then I put up, I was like, I'm making a video about that new Avengers movie. And I'm like, make Robert Downey Jr. making a stupid fucking face, just looking like an idiot. And then AI's like, yeah, here you go. And then I put it up and I'm like, man, I'm getting a ton of views on this. I love AI. That would have taken me like two hours in Photoshop

fucking around and compositing and whatever else. So, I don't know, it's just crazy how quick you can just like churn out exactly what you need and I think we're going to have medical AI systems that can that can help people within a decent amount of time. I don't think it's going to be a hundred years from now before you have like an auto dock like from Fallout like literally an auto dock where you can just go into some pod and it you can be like what's wrong

with you? I've been shot. I've been shot. Can you help me? Oh, that's very serious. Let me apply an anesthetic and assess the situation and it like removes the bullet perform surgery and talks you through it. I don't see any reason why that's not like a decade or two away. I haven't seen the start of that. I've only seen really just content aggregation. I mean, okay, but like content aggregation, when you get into like coding and you can take

a snippet of code and you go, hey, right now my system's giving me this error message, here's the piece of code. And, you know, here's 10,000 lines of code. Can you figure out what the fuck's going on? And the computer just goes, yeah, line 314. you have the wrong fucking operator or whatever. Like just the amount of like a computer being able to take all this, you know,

what would take a human being like constant guesswork and guess and check and try to figure out what's wrong. Like just the amount of time it's going to save. And I've had it like helping me set up, set up my taxes where it's like, it's like, hey, you have kind of a unique tax situation and an inventory.

Let's build out an inventory system and Google sheets. And we're going to use code. So when you sell an item, it automatically removes it from the spreadsheet. I'm like, okay, cool, let's do it, you know? And I don't have to pay some, you know, Indian guy to fuck that up for me. I can just have the AI fuck it up for me. Good thinking.

It's cheaper. Did you say make no mistakes? No, I said, just get wacky with it. I'm watching. Make items randomly disappear without me knowing about it. So this is an autonomous robot that they're teaching to do surgery. This isn't a real person it's operating on here. But where I timestamped it, it's doing sutures.

Totally not impressive. It's not. It's such a controlled environment. It is no different than manufacturing robots from 50 years ago. But it's autonomously doing the surgery. It's like no one's operating. It's not like a puppet. Yeah, same with are the way manufacturing works.

I think, but. Like when those machines attach the doors to the Ford F-150, there's not some person robot controlling it. It just does the same thing. again and again and again on a conveyor belt. This is this stitching that you're showing. This is like where you program a CAD to like make a robot do each step. We used to do that in technology. We would program each step the robot had to do like each turn and move.

Then press play and it would go. That's what you just showed me. No, it's not. It's doing it on its own. It's making those decisions. That is the most generic straight line easiest to stitch intern thing ever. Give it a zigzag with the swirley in the middle and see how it stitches it back together. working on that man i'm not going to be jaded about it yet you know i just haven't seen it that's all

like i haven't seen any thinking i've only seen regurgitating you're saying you haven't seen anything that came out of ai where you went man i've been watching avengers trailers that were made you know the funniest thing was they put out the trailers at the the convention or whatever for like the new avengers movie and they go and we're not going to put it online for a week you know so only you guys here at the convention to see it and then some guy just wrote down what happened in the trailer and he just remade it an AI and he's like well this is basically what happened dr doom comes out of the house and he punches a guy I'm like this is great they can't even hide the movie trailers from us now because the fucking computer can just make the alternate movie trailer yeah well I

I think it's got a long way to go like we're still in the infancy of it and like think about three years ago just as far as like its ability to generate videos like you three years ago everyone could immediately identify like that's an AI video and now that's like people everywhere get tricked unless you like notice like a weird little physics thing where like that's not how that person would fall or oh that person's strap on their backpack broke and then in a couple frames later the the strap is together again oh that's AI even i saw someone demonstrating uh you know how they're like AI filters for AI videos where like you can take an AI video or a video just put it into this filter and it'll say this is likely AI or this is likely

real and this guy was showing how some AI videos are tricking that now where he's like I know this is an AI video watch as I put it into this service and it says I'm 85% sure this is a real video and so it's like it

it'll just be uh here's what people don't understand man is like everybody points out where they go oh obviously that signs AI it's so easy to spot AI I can spot AI from a mile away and I go yeah that's like that fucking aircraft carrier with the dots on it like yeah the ones that are obviously

AI you can see the ones that like there's so much shit out there right now that's AI that you don't know it's AI because the guy's not saying oh by the way I made this with AI like CGI movies just out there CGI dude the movies are using AI fucking like graphic designers like crazy I needed a logo

for my podcast I was just like I don't know just like make me a vector out of this image and it did in two seconds and nobody's ever said to me oh dude your logo is fucking AI because it looks the exact same as any the people would give me shit about using AI, I just don't accept it. I don't care. I don't care. There are people who are like, oh, it's AI

slop. It hurts my soul. Yeah, well, yourself's going to take a beating, get used to it. Dude, people, this guy did the best experiment ever, which was he said, hey, I had AI generate a Monet painting. Can you really tell me this isn't as good as an actual Monet? And all these people went into his comments and they're like, an actual Monet would have much better lighting. And he would never have used colors like this and blah, blah, blah. And he let him go on for like a

there too. He went, okay, because that's an actual Monnet. Like I just took a picture or an actual one and I said it was AI and you all came up with reasons why it's dog shit but it's just actually a painting by a famous mask. Yeah, I think I saw that same thread where, or a similar thread where someone then posted like

a child's drawing and was like, see even this like poorly drawn thing, you can feel the soul and the spirit of it and then they called that out where he's like no, that was an AI instructed to draw a house with a tree and a tire swing and kids playing the way an average

four-year-old would with the same sort of crayon you know imperfections. Do you draw it all? No, I'm not a good drawer. If we were to have a drawing contest, it would be such a lopsided loss for me that it would be one of those things where I like tear my paper up and won't show. Like you would show yours and I'd be like, like, I'd be there with you. I'd show my embarrassing drawing, but I'm telling you, I'm worse. than you're imagining.

I can't remember. My handwriting's falling apart now. I haven't written very much for so long. What'd you say? Now it's falling apart. Even more. What are you saying? It was barely legible.

Yeah. It hasn't gotten better. Yeah. Can't let your handwriting go, man. Let's go. I hardly ever write anything. Really? You don't ever like make a list or,

Today, I jot it down a serial number. It's like the kind of thing that's hard to memorize. And afterwards, I was like, that was a four or nine. We'll never know. I sure memorized it. Real quick, for the next thing, lock and load, folks, check it out. Code PCA, code jizz, save 10%. Also save 10% on protein powders, energy drinks, weight loss supplements, dream supplements,

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So I think a couple of them are a hit. Cool. Check those out. Anyway, sorry to interrupt everyone. Throw the vibe off. Yeah, back to the AI thing briefly. Like, I see so many people, it's almost like a pop opinion now, it feels, where people are like, I hate everything about AI. It's the worst.

I don't use it. I refuse to use it. And I'm like, is this, like, is that like kind of being a bit of a Luddite? like you know I'm I don't want to be the same person like I'm not super anti-AI or anything but it just reminds me of people who like took up arms against like nuclear power or other big advancements that were clearly coming there was no way to stop it with nuclear they kind of did because I just legislated it out of profitability but like these these things are coming they're going to be here just don't pretend it's not mind blowing when it's like, hey, in afternoon, I was able to take an episode of Dragon Ball Z and rerender it with Will Smith and Shaquille O'Neal beating the shit out of each other. And you're like, that's pretty cool. I like, why would that not be cool? People go, oh, it's crap.

I can tell, it's a day, I, whatever else. And you're like, I, dude, it's mind-blowing that you can type some words into a video generation platform and pump out, like what looks like convincing video half the time. I see so much shit on my feed where I now have to go, is that real? I don't even know if it's real now. I don't know if that dog really did jump off the building onto a trampoline. Maybe he did. I saw one yesterday where the guy has like, I don't know my birds, but they look like parrots of some kind, maybe, some sort of tropical birds. And one by one, he's doing like the finger gun thing you do to your dog. You know, your dog plays dead when you fake shoot it. And each one does a different fake falling over that's, it's like too perfect and too cute.

and the last one does like a, like holds it the chest wound and does a spin and falls on to the others and they're all laying in a pile. I'm like, ah, it's fake. Okay. He had me for like the first two. Because like the first two just kind of fell over or like made a silly face. But by the time he got it of the fourth fucking bird that was trained that well, I got it. But yeah, it wasn't because of video quality. I guess there was the bird's feet did little won't get Milwaukee at the end that clued us in too.

But it's really good. but I don't really care about the video generation. I do worry about it, but as a negative, as like, for like deep fakes of politicians saying things, especially the politicians we have these days that say wacky things.

Like, you could see Trump say something outlandish and be like, did he really say that? Now you're on Snopes or something, trying to figure out if the president just declared war on Delaware. Because you're not really that sure.

He might have. Probably not, but maybe. I'm not for that dancing cat in the background. You know, you know, the difficult, bastard thing.

Yeah. Dude, it is, it is scary, man, and especially, like, did you,

have you seen the story about this 746 cult shit that's going around now? No, I know nothing of this. I've heard of that. Yeah, I just found out about this and now I'm, like,

terrified about it. And I was, like, trying to look it up, I'm like, are there any articles about this? And there's just, like,

FBI, like, press statements being like, we are dealing with these violent nihilist underground cults. And I'm like, wait, there's violent underground nihilist cults? What the fuck's going on? And it's a bunch of like weirdos and psychopaths who find like young girls or whatever. And I think they do that thing where they go, hey, I live in your town.

I'm, you know, your age. Like we should hang out or whatever. Send me naked pictures of you. And then once the girls do it, they, uh, they go, okay, now I'm blackmailing you. Like fucking cut open your arm and like cover yourself in blood or I'm going to send these to everybody. some dude just got 77 years for basically being a part of this like a ringleader for one of these groups damn just like they're finding their victims on Minecraft servers i'm so glad i'm out of that business yeah dude that's they're finding like bank selling your customers info to these guys 746 pays top dollar

all right 764 yeah but all these guys like now you can just use AI and make like you know Okay. It's all these like fake, you can make like fake personas and trick people. So many scams are going around. Fucking people are getting calls and they've cloned the voice. Somebody had a somebody call his parents with his cloned voice and be like, hey, my buddy's come over to pick some stuff up out of my room. So just let him in and let him grab my backpack. And then he came home and all his computer shit was gone.

I've told all my relatives about that. I was like, hey, just so you know, if I ever call. you and I seem weird and I tell you to send me money. That's 99% not me. Okay? I'm like, there's technology now so people can fake someone's voice. And it'll sound like me.

Okay? So you need to make sure it's me before you like give them money or do what they want or whatever. I had a girlfriend and she, her grandmother got scammed, not by AI. That's how I know the AI would be so effective because she got scammed by somebody who just made a voice.

who just went, they called her and they claimed, hey, I'm your grandson's lawyer. He's in trouble. He got, like, he was drunk and did this.

I don't remember what the charges were, but he's in jail. He's locked up. He needs bailing out. And I need to be paid and I need some money for this. I need $10,000 to get your son out of, out of jail. And she put $10,000 cash in her mailbox for him to come pick up.

That's how gullible. In a physical mailbox. In her own mailbox, she placed $10,000 cash. She went to the bank, pulled out $10,000, which is like all her money, and then puts it in the mailbox. And then this mystery lawyer comes and picks it up. And only then does she like, something about this doesn't seem right? Normally you don't pay a lawyer this way. And like the girl put her phone on speaker while she was talking to her grandmother.

Like she didn't tell her grandmother, but it's an old person. I didn't feel bad listening in on the conversation. And she's like, just kill me. That was all my money. I'm such a fool. Don't you, do you think we'll get it back? And I'm going, no, you'll never get it back. Let's call.

It's called forever, give off. You're wasting your time. Like, because she gave it away in such a, like, she put it in her mailbox and then, like, didn't even, like, watch out the window, you know. Didn't call anybody or, like, you know, double check anything. Check with her grandson, like, you know, like crazy. So if people will do that, then my God, if you had an AI that sounds just like whoever, your wife, husband, aunt, uncle, son who's like, hey, I had a rough night.

I'm down in Mexico and I accidentally hit somebody with my car and I need money for blah, blah, blah, yeah, dude, if you have, just call your parents. If you haven't already had this talk with them, go, hey, listen, at some point, you might get a phone call from somebody sounds like me. It's probably a scam. People should have more dangerous hobbies and passions so they don't get senile. Yeah, there you go. Well, you know, sometimes they go early. Sometimes you get that like a... Not if you died at 45.

Oh, yeah, I guess. Well, the crazy thing, man, is like the people who get into the scam and they, did you ever see the video like the cop and the lady's just feeding money into a Bitcoin ATM? She's like, I have to buy iTunes gift cards to get my grandson out of prison. he's like stop stop putting money in that machine i'm a police officer and i'm telling you to stop putting money in that machine my mom uh her co-worker one day was just like ah the love of my life you know someday he's gonna move to america we're gonna get married and she's like oh uh where's he from and she's like he's Nigerian and my mom went ooh yeah why's in Nigeria that's a mean my dad had a friend my dad had a friend and keep mind these guys are in their 60s and and and like my

dad and his buddy are like, did you hear about like John's new girlfriend? He's like, yes. Yes, he's been talking about it. This, this man thinks that he has like a 30 year old hot army medic girlfriend overseas who's like, she's from here in Georgia. She's a southern gal. But she's over there fighting for freedom right now. But as soon as she gets homeside.

she wants a 65 year old overweight country boy it's all she thinks about while she's over there fighting the terrorists and that's the craziest part of it dude he's like everyone is my girlfriend and he's got and it's this picture of like an attractive 30 year old army lady army bed with six fingers because she's AI generated I don't remember it it looked real the pick I saw the pictures they showed me a picture and I'm like I mean I was like a real person to me

I don't you got a reverse image search it see where it came from yeah you know but it's not a it was a whole scam I don't remember the scam they were pulling but just the idea that she was interested in him alone was just clearly nonsense but did they go to him be like hey man stop sending her money it's a trick oh yeah he didn't believe he's like she's real she's real dude that's the same thing that happened with my mom and her co-worker like everyone in her life was going you don't have a beautiful boyfriend in Nigeria he's just having you send him all your money and she's like no, we're getting married. You guys don't understand. Like, we have real conversations.

It's like, like, it, I say that. It used to be so easy to verify. I suppose now, like, I suppose there was a time where you could say, all right, hey, call me for a second. Let's talk. Let me make sure that you're the pretty girl that seems to be on the other end of this conversation. But now, I suppose you could use some sort of AI to completely fake that. And then I've seen those programs where you can have like the full overlay. Like, like people are like in a job interview. this overlay that looks like clean cut white business man and it's not like i don't even know if there's

a person there but like the person can't do certain thing to be like would you hold up three fingers for me and they're like why are you asking why are you asking for me to do that why would you need me to hold up three fingers right now that's that's a silly thing to ask in a job interview and it's like why won't you do it that's the reason i'm so scared dude that's the reason i'm so scared of i is like we still live it'll be one thing if like humanity had got to the point where we're like well, we're not dumb. We're not going to, like, believe in, like, magic and bullshit. But there's just so much, like, shit where I go,

we've already, we know this is a scam. Why do you guys still fall for this? Have you seen the guys who think autistic children have psychic powers? Dude, you're joking? The telepathy tapes. You mean Hollywood writers? Of course. I know the Hollywood writers are falling into it, too.

Have you seen the telepathy tapes? Joe Rogan was like trying to give credence to this at some point. The telepathy tapes? It's a whole documentary about how all these kids who are nonverbal or autistic are secretly communicating with their minds or some shit. So here's part of the documentary and it's infuriating to me. Okay. Tell me if you can figure out why this test for psychic abilities is a bit flawed.

So this is a thing they came up with in the 80s called Facilitated Communication where autistic people, they're like, well, they can't speak, but we can hold a board in front of them, and then they can tap out the word that they want to tap, right? And then they're like, oh, my God, all these guys are math geniuses and shit. And he said, well, can't she just put the board like on the table in front of them? And they're like, no, a lady has to hold it. And like, well, then couldn't the lady holding the board, like move the board around?

So it looks like he's type of, but no, no, no, they would never do that, of course. So here's the experiment. We have Uno cards. and believe it or not, these psychic children, they, they, let's see it. Zero. One. Wait, wait, okay, it's a one. One.

Oh my god, you figured it out. How did you do that? Let's do another one. Oh. She's moving it. Plus two. Oh my god, how did he fucking do it? It's incredibly.

His psychic fucking powers. Everybody in the room's below. She can see the fucking card! Don't show. Don't show the card to the lady. You've destroyed the fucking experiment. Yeah. Why would they show her the card?

That's insane. Bro, do you want to? I've been obsessed with this topic. Like, he wants to go back to playing video games or whatever he wants to do. He's sick of the shit. I keep bringing this up everywhere because, like, I've become completely obsessed with this topic of facilitated communication. Because it was completely debunked in the 80s. In the 80s, they said, no, you're moving the board.

These autistic kids cannot talk and you're all lying. And then somehow, 10 years went by. and everyone forgot this was all debunked in the 80s. And now they're going, an autistic nonverbal child has written a novel. And he go, how did he write a fuck? What do you mean he wrote a novel? And they go, well, here's USA Today.

And it's Jenna, it's the, what do you call it? Isn't this George Bush's daughter or something? I am so thrilled to announce our April selection. It is Upward Bound by Woody Brown. It's the often. All right, what upward bound by Woody Brown? Guys, are you ready to meet Woody Brown, the genius who wrote an entire book?

okay this guy is an inspiration and I can't get enough of him and what's in his heart I never fought it wait what the fuck now to us it might appear like he's not typing anything at all it's been very possible but according to his mom

who definitely didn't write the book for him he's communicating let's watch again real quick here Woody attended UCLA to finally be in the room where the learning was

he's not he's not he was in heaven we came to realize bro all the comments are like he spelled Q ZWY how the fuck is this

what do you mean dude I've finally found someone I can mug in spelling oh my god here he is what does he graduate from here. He's graduating from UCLA.

He's like, and there's interviews with him. And all the interviews are him being like, you know, I was trapped inside the world of my own mind. But thank God, my mother, helped me find out that I was a secret. Watch him type this shit. Typical people to see. Is someone supposed to be keeping track of this? He's E-X-H-Z-Z-B-Z-R.

That's not a word at all. They are more inclined. He was like smiling along. You know what else? He's not a big fan of the space bar. This is one long word. He's not using space. It'd be great if someone fixed the captions to what he actually is.

What is actually typing? Yeah, I'm like, all right, I'm trying in my head to think of BRZ. There was A-A-A-X-B at one point. I don't know what's word. Yeah, well, this is. Look at this inspiration. Now, here's the best part of the video is Jenna Bush talks about, what an incredible inspiration he is.

And as... Yeah. Well, that's the thing, dude. After I saw this, I said, Helen Keller's definitely a fake. If this... Anybody, Helen Keller is bullshit. I think this is the part where she talks about how she interviewed him and what was going on during the interview. If he looks at the iPads,

it helps him sort of focus his brain. He actually said to me... So the entire interview, he's watching I Love Toy Trains 4 on an iPad. the entire time she's interviewing him. He's not looking at the fucking letters he's typing. He's watching. I love to. And the funniest thing is you go,

how did this guy? He has a novel that's like, you know, and I learned from the infinite majesty of my own brain. His book would be, and then I watched Thomas the Tank Engine. And Thomas the Tank Engine is a real good train. And I like trains.

Like, how did he write this fucking... Narrated by Morgan Freeman. He's like, physically, no matter what I tried. I couldn't get along with the other. the children. They didn't seem to enjoy

my antics. Yeah, and for the listener, it's just a piece of cardboard with a keyboard on it, and he is just absent-mindedly just tapping areas between letters, like just not even close to the letters at all. Honestly, the hell

in the hell of Kelly's game is they signed in somebody's palm. So really only, like, you didn't know what they were doing. It was harder to devunk than this. Why would they just get an iPad with a keyboard on it? Why do they have to Because then he would type X 5,000 times. The experiment would be over.

I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm this stupid. Why don't they give him a keyboard? Just a keyboard. Why do they need to put it on a piece of cardboard? Because he's not tight. We all know why. You know why too.

I wish one of those dead-eyed bitches on that morning. I should have gone, hey, I've got a question. Why don't you hold up a keyboard for him to type? you know, like attached to a computer monitor. And then it, you know, we wouldn't have to rely on you at all. He wouldn't need you. He could write his own novels. Let's not be mean to him.

It's one step short of like bringing a tennis ball. I'd be like, think fast. Mom's the one being mean to him. She's turned him into some sort of science experiment. Have a conversation with her afterward. Be like, hey, we all knew that was fucking bullshit. That was ridiculous. At least.

You know what I can out there, Mom. It's hard to keep this act on 24-7. I'm a man. was me. People are commenting. I'm kidding. Ever since we started this tour, I'm getting no pussy. What if it was a double trick?

She's like, you got to spell better than that. That was awful. They don't even believe you're, you're really fucking this up for both of us. Where could he go that the host wouldn't put up with that at all? Like Jimmy Fallon would play along. Stern would have such a blast with that kid. Stern would literally,

what Stern would do a double bit. Somebody on there would be smart. They would put a keyboard out and instead of putting his gibberish on the screen, they would type their own nonsense. And no one could dispute that he hadn't typed. It would be like,

Satan is the seven-headed dragon bow before him. Sacrifice the blood of the lamb to the child who was chosen. I want to see, like, have Robin show me her tities. like that'd be funny. I'm going to give you guys the worst example of one of these.

And again, so you're like the family of an autistic kid and like one of these people comes along and you go, I'm going to unlock the infinite power of your child's mind, you know? And you go, oh, thank God. And then you go, yeah, he said, mom, I love you. And then you start falling in the trap. You're like, oh, my God, he said he loves me. That's incredible. Wow, you're a miracle worker. So there's this one lady and she was working with this family and their adult.

son who was nonverbal. She's like, yeah, you know, today he said, you know, he loves a watermelon. We did some math or whatever, you know, and they go, yeah, it's just so incredible what you've done for my son, you know, we're so proud, we're so happy that you've come into our life and changed things. She goes, yeah, yeah, and then we fucked. And the parents went, I'm sorry, what? She goes, yeah, yeah, your son's in love with me. And he, and he used, he typed on the board, he said, I just want to fucking fuck your brains out. So we, I took him in the bed. We've actually been sleeping ever for six months. And the family's like,

hold the fucking phone. And they had to actually go to court. And the lady was arguing he typed it on the board. He's in there and he wants to fuck me. And then the state was going, no, you just held up a fucking piece of paper and moved it around so you can fuck a retarded kid. This is sinister.

That was a real court case. I think she ended up getting jail time. That's someone being like, you know, that's what gives you write a comic about. Let's double down. That's why people go, Well, what's the harm in thinking that these children can speak or whatever? And you're like, someone's going to come along and fuck them. That's the problem.

Do you think he agrees he's the victim in this or is he the beneficiary? He doesn't know what's going on at all. What she looked like? Hang on. Yeah, that's it. There's no way that this is like, I mean, I bet this kid was scared the whole time. Don't call him a kid. We don't know.

The way he described it made it sound like that. Just because you're afraid of intimacy. I'm trying to see if I could find a picture of this lady. Anna Stubblefield, is that her name? Anna Stubblefield, a Rutger Ethics Professor engaged in relations with a 34-year-old mentally and physically disabled man. She's not that bad. She's not a Nogh or anything.

She's not like a big, fat, creepy thing. She's kind of got like a, who was Epstein's? Guy Slane. She's a guy slain. He's got a little bit of a. you know, not a great... I don't know, man. She's got a...

I don't know. This is the worst, I guess. Let's admit this, we thought it was going to be worse, though. I did think it would be worse, but she does have... She looks like a trickster. And she clearly is, so, you know. Yeah. She looks like a Hobbit.

Dude, the guy was batting outside his league. Did you look at the dude? I didn't see. Well, let's... Someone link it here. Don't put the guy up there. Don't put this poor guy on blast. Why not? He's the one that got laid.

Yeah, he's fine. I read the court. He's not on blast. Yeah. Oh, that's just her again. That's a great question. I gave you a link. I gave you a link.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he was. That guy. Oh, that guy? That's who she was sleeping with? Yes, it is. Oh, no.

Oh, that's a W for him. For those? Jared Johnson. Zach, we weren't going to show the retarded kid. He's 34 or something. Yeah, he's 30. He's not like a kid, kid. I was about to say, for those of you hear audio only, I guess, though, now he's got like mongo teeth.

He's got like one big one that sticks out. It's a bad look. This could be a bad angle. It is a bad angle, but there weren't many other options, you know. He authored a paper that would be presented at the conference for the Society for Disability Studies in Philadelphia before enrolling in a course in African American literature at Rutgers University. Like, man, how much does it suck to be? in your college class, you go, there's the retarded kid I have to pretend his learning.

That guy's at Rutgers. That guy's at Rutgers. Yeah, he was. He was authoring papers. Well, was she the one authoring them and being like, trust me, he said all this? That's my understanding. That's what was. I think that's what was, I don't think he was actually, I don't think Mongo, as we've said it, was authoring

papers on the interests. The Hollywood writers are obsessed with the idea that autistic kids somehow are like accessing another wavelength or seeing something that we can't or their minds are working like a quantum computer and solving every possibility

simultaneously. The movies like Mercury Rising. Mercury Rising is this Bruce Willis movie where I think the NSA puts their new like code algorithm like like a puzzle book just to see if anyone were to test it. And there's like seven,

year old solves it, like cracks it, and they're trying to kill him now. And then Predator in the Predator movie, the Autistic Kid, the Autistic Kid is able to, like, interface with Predator technology. Because of his autism, he just, like, looks at a, like, it's one of those future technologies where, like, you're touching light in the air and, like, like, doing stuff like that. And he's just able to immediately understand Predator technology. He looks like one of those guys at a rave that wear those light up gloves and they're on ecstasy. they roll them in front of your hands.

Dude, that movie was ruined by the predators come down and they're like, I forget the name of the guy, but they're like, we want Johnson. It's like, oh, they must want me because they're a warrior race and I'm the ultimate, you know, warrior. And they go, no, we want your autistic kid because you can talk to light waves or something. And you're like, the predators need a little autistic boy

to hang out in the predator spaceship. I don't think they need that. I remember that kid from, this is probably 15 plus years ago now. That was on morning shows. because he was blind and he could like make clicking noises with his tongue. And then they said that he had like discovered, you know, independently sonar. Yeah, echolocation is sonar for himself. A black kid, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, but what struck me is that as they were demonstrating it, he was still walking so slow and he still had the cane. Like it's like you're still waving the cane around, man. Like ditch the cane. I saw him hustle down some stairs, no cane. Yeah, but stairs are predictable.

I agree. I would have thrown some, like, you know, some tricks in there. I want to see that kid run an obstacle course fucking clicking his tongue. I was going to say the Ninja Warrior. The Special Olympics should really come up with some events that, you know, take advantage of the fact that I want to see disabled people compete against each other. Like a maze. I just want to see 100 disabled people loose in a labyrinth. You're like, whoa, that Brian kid is using echolode.

Welcome to the labyrinth. We've got 100 literally disabled, man, and we've cast them into a pit of despair. In the center, in the center is a mythological beast. Half man. Known as the miniature. That poor kid just clicking around in there.

I want to see if it really works. Woody Brown's trying to spell his way out. You're like, nah, you're fucked. Oh, there's a cryptographic puzzle. We have Woody here. He can type on the board and it's like No, it's not gonna work No, he really needs that person to be moving the board

Yeah, I need the guy to move the wood I love that I love that he's watching a movie Or a video called like I love toy trains for That's how long that interview He's gone, I've seen one through three They're not as good Yeah, but it's number four is real return to form

Yeah What is it about? What is it about trains that people on the spectrum love? Because it's not just like nonverbal kids, it's also like there's a group of men who like oddly put on those little conductor hats and they have like little villages built in their basement and they go down there and play choochew trains are pretty common for like a lot of little boys too not just on the spectrum but why something about speed and velocity

is it i feel like it's the weight and the fun the rumble of the train combined with the speed like so i got into this youtube his name's alec steel he made he does blacksmithing he's a british dude and it's pretty amazing. Currently he's installing a 15-ton hammer so he can forge a little better. Something about that seems parallel to what a locomotive is. Just stuff that's built at like a commercial durability level we don't see very often. These trains will go a million miles. I made that up, but I bet it's true.

Nothing I own goes a million miles. This is just hearty, strong, like stuff on a scale I don't see all the time. but how could you like get into them so like I can imagine getting into like Ferraris and knowing all the fucking names and the engine sizes and the because you want one because you fantasize about driving one you're an aficionado of it

your dream is to own this one or that one or maybe multiple of them but you don't really want to be a train conductor do you if you're into trains you're like you're not working actively to become an engineer on a train somewhere you don't ride trains to and fro when I worked for my dad, another guy who worked for my dad, was into trains in a big way.

I've talked about him before. I saw his train set. It was amazing. What he would do is he'd photograph the trains in the area. This was like in Pennsylvania. And then he would recreate it. So like imagine a train next to like a blasted cliff. And he's recreated the rocks to mimic the texture.

He's redone the graffiti on the rocks that the train passed by. And he had like Polaroids of the action. place sitting at the location so you could see just how good the copy was as you checked it out. And it was really neat. Another hobby of his was restoring an actual train. They had like, I don't know if it was a steam engine or diesel or whatever, but his club or something like got involved in like buying a broken train and making it work again. And that was one of his hobbies.

And he's just like at the time I thought it was dumb. I was like this kind of judgmental 22 year old. And it's like, yeah, your hobby's gay and stupid and makes you a geek. But he's like, no, guys like big heavy machinery and the stuff that we work on is just like colossal. Was he a normal guy otherwise? Was he like socially normal or was he like clearly like a little bit weird? I don't think he was autistic. I don't think he was autistic.

And that'd become like a subject matter expert on that. It's such a bit. Yeah. He wasn't cool. It's such a big spectrum the way it presents and the way and like what you even call autism. Like my dad had a buddy Johnny. And Johnny was. always a little weird.

Like, we didn't know what to call it. This is a 55-year-old man, or 50-year-old man at the time. And it's like he's, he always wears the same thing. I mean, it's clean. Like, it's not like he's wearing the same set of clothes, but his, he has an outfit. It's a green t-shirt tucked in to Army Fatigue Pants with a belt. Just like a cartoon character. Like, always the same.

He's a diesel mechanic, and he knows everything there is to know about diesel mechanic, and he's also a gun nut. like the biggest gun nut I'd ever known and he would just like he would show up and he was kind of stand there like there'd be like four of us

sit in chairs just just hanging out shooting the shit and he kind of stand there with his arms crossed until like we meandered through a topic that he cared about and said that he'd speak up

like we've been talking for 15 minutes about about bullshit about Sopranos and then someone mentioned a rifle and he's like that HK is best in the business right now has got that

forged mill speck and you know they're using that cobalt now yes the good and he can go on and on and rattle off this whole thing about guns and it's like oh interesting interesting he was so weird like you call his answers flavors of autism can i jump in for a second yeah i'm sorry i really want to apologies yeah all right i appreciate your social grace um so autism in my lifetime has gone from this thing that first no one knew anything about. I didn't know what it was. They diagnosed my son is autistic and I'm like, what is this? And they're like, yeah, when he plays with matchbox cars, he does it wrong. He kind of fluffs him. So we go back home and we train him how to play with cars. And now he's the exact opposite. He lines them all up and they're like, still autism. I'm like,

fuck, what do you want to see from this kid so we could get you to say he's not autistic, which in our head will make him not autistic. So that's early autism. And then, you know, people start to get a grip on what it is, guys who were, like, heavily interested in stuff and kind of don't predict others' reactions socially very well. And now everybody just says they have a different variety of autism. Like, oh, yeah, mine is this, mine is that. Taylor's spelling, I don't know. But I was watching Bert Peanut and he's like, this is bullshit. Ginji, this girl that he plays with a lot, says she's autistic and I have no reason to doubt her. She's amazing at mecha chameleon. And Peanuts complaining. He's like, what?

Why? Why? Why does her autism make her good at video games? And mine makes me sweat when I talk to strangers. This is the current view on autism. Like everyone has a little weird thing about them and everyone's on the spectrum. It was in vogue for a while for people to like, like just say it as a joke, I think. Maybe some people are saying it earnestly, like just because they have one hyper fixation. But I think most people can tell, like, if someone's legit or not. like it's not like oh wow you there's a social awkwardness yeah there's a social awkwardness and then a hot and cold passion like impassioned like speech thing that's difficult to mimic like like like i said the person will be very that johnny guy wouldn't say a word and then you talk about a fucking diesel truck and he'd fucking spill his guts on everything diesel related i just did that His answering machine message?

I remember I got his answering machine message and it's like, you reach Johnny, I'm not here right now, probably out, checking the perimeter and tending to the booby traps. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. And I remember being like, Hey, we were going to swing by later and borrow that M16 if that's okay.

Probably around 3 p.m. See you then. And I hang out. I found my dad's there. I'm like, I got his message. He said he was tending to the, and my dad goes, tend into the booby traps and checking the perimeter. Yeah, yeah. It's a little weird, huh? I'm like, I wish I was there when he made it.

He's like, I'll probably check at the perimeter and tend into the booby traps. Nailed it. Everybody thinks I'm really doing that. That was probably his joke. That was him being funny. No. If that were a joke,

then that would be literally the only joke that man had ever made in his life. You know what I mean? Like, like, this is an autistic man who is passionate about two things. He is monotone. Like, this is a guy who, I've never seen him laugh. I've never seen him laugh. He doesn't.

He doesn't. I saw him grin and chuckle one time when I was filming a video using his gun, and he got a kick out of it. Like, he loved gun shit. So anything gun related, like, in his spare time, he made, like, sniper rifles at a precision, like, machinery shop and, like, volunteered his time because he liked it so much. clearly autistic.

We didn't know what autism was. He'd walk up and down the road and his army fatigues working out. It's clear the army wouldn't take him for some reason. He's got rocks. He was great. When he died. Autistic guy who makes like crazy booby traps

all over his property. He's like, I don't think you're going to get out of here alive. Johnny was also like he didn't just like guns. He was a very, very good shot. He could chew an egg at 600 yards. Very talented guy. he was um

when he died uh i remember i told his like his nephew was going to go over there and like get all the stuff out of the house to do the estate cell or whatever they were going to do and i was like you know he always talked about booby traps um he's like yeah he did i'm like aren't you scared like he died suddenly in his house of a heart attack he would there could be booby traps set he's like we're going to go real slow and real careful

It looks like he was concussed by a can of paint on a string. Is this doorknob hotter than the other doorknob? It looks like blood loss from stepping on too many ornaments. It's pretty nasty tarantula bites. I think this guy just like down the long. Oh, man, now I want a seven movie where it's a bunch of guys who are investigating a serial murder. And like it just reminds me that case from 20 that Christmas breaking from 25 years ago. They never solved what happened there.

Let me tell you. I've been thinking about I think about this a lot. I want to see a new home alone movie with McCulley Culkin. And I want to be an R-rated home alone. I want I want like Joe Pesci to have died in prison and his like both Joe Pesci and Marv. Like both of those characters, Marvin Harry, Marvin Harry died. in prison and they're like grandchildren are out for revenge

against Kevin McAllister and they're gang bangers or something. They're hardened criminals or something and they're coming to kill fucking Kevin and he's got one more time be home alone and like set up the traps and everything. I don't know how you make the rest of the movie work

where he's just like happy to be home alone. Maybe his whole family maybe he's like a wife and kids and for some reason he gets left behind and he's like ah just have a vacation on your own. in France. I'll be king of the castle back here on my own, 40-year-old Kevin McAllister. I'd be fine with that. I would watch the shit out of

like a John Wick-esque home alone movie with adult Kevin McCallel. I do like this idea. He gets falsely accused. He gets framed for like a DUI, which was not his fault and he has an ankle monitor. So he can't go on the

family vacation and he can't leave the house. So now we know why he can't leave. But I want his defensive measures to be almost indistinguishable from the ones he used when he was seven. Like I don't want any more sophistication. I don't want him John Wicken around cartwheeling with a machine gun. It should still be like retarded like hot wheel shit. That would be funnier.

Okay. And but they have guns. Well, he would have to have access to whatever the modern toys are. I mean, he would have to have. Maybe it's the old house. Maybe Kevin's back in Chicago because his dad passed away. and the house. You got to sell the house.

He's got to sell the old house, and he's back in that house, and it's all run down now. And he's got a, like, he's like rebuilding. He's doing some home improvement. That's the early part of the movie, is he's stuck there refurbishing his inherited house why his family gets to go on the vacation, and he's home alone once more in this crappy house.

It doesn't have good anything. And then the wet bandits show up for revenge. Oh, yeah. It has to be the children of the wet bandits and they go, what happens when a bandit stays wet long enough? They turn to ice. We're the ice bandits. They were the sticky bandits.

We're solid. They were the stinky bandits. And at Homewell, too, there was sticky band. I don't know. I want, like, 85-year-old Joe Pesci to return and, like, 71-year-old Marv. I think it should be them again. Have you seen the, do you follow that Joel Haver guy on YouTube, the animator? Oh, yeah, I've seen his video.

He's really funny. Yeah. Have you seen the one where it's the deleted? scene from Home Alone? Yes. Where he goes, yeah, he goes, this would have made the movie a lot better. It's like, we got to get that kid's soul, Marv, because he was born in the same hospital where my wife died and my wife's soul jumped into that boy.

And the only way to get my wife back, we got to break into that house. And you're like, that does add a lot to the story. I got to get my wife's soul out of that boy, Mom. There's one where it's like home alone, but with comp. competent robbers and they immediately walk in. He's like, oh, watch out. There's some little race cars there on the stairs. Yeah, yeah. And then Kevin shows up

at the top of stairs. He's like, I have a tarantula. And Marb just goes, bang! I think it was a family guy, man. It was. They just immediately shoot them in the head. I love those movies as a kid. Like, I always, like, the first one for sure, and even the second one

was always like a holiday movie I would watch with a, you know, Trump's in that one. They want to remove Trump. Do they cut him out of the TV releases now? I was going to say they, they, they, I heard it came up and they, I think they asked McCulley Culkin, like what he thought. He's like, I don't care. You can take him out if you want. It's not like he's a big part of the movie, you know, it's just a little cameo. Why not remove him?

Why not? I don't need him interjection into my mind. Who cares if you see Trump? Is it going to really piss somebody off? You see Trump? Man, if I'm watching. Home Alone too. I'm looking for some happiness and some nostalgia. I do not

need to see Donald Trump in that moment and start thinking about Iran and Jared Kushner and EA I remember I've said it before but I would as a kid I would turn my eyes away a little bit when Marv would electrocute himself and turn into a skeleton

on the dryer as a little kid that freaked me out. When his voice goes to that higher pitch Kevin's like turning the arc well up as he goes And at first he's like, but then he like turns it up and he's a skeleton. I can exactly remember that in my head too, man. Yeah.

Jesus. Those are solid movies. And you can see his skeleton, but he's still got the afro hair on the skull of his skeleton. It's great. It's really funny. Do you remember any? That was the biggest laugh as a kid.

Do you remember any moments from kids' movies that for some reason just scared you? they weren't meant to be scary but they that weren't meant to be scary yeah like I know the Marv thing him's turning into a skeleton was meant to be funny but for some reason as a little kid that just it like scared

me where I'm like it was supposed to be a little bit scary it's the guy getting electrocuted yeah maybe I was gonna say like uh frickin Roger Rabbit was horrifying oh killing the shoe in Roger Rabbit was like supposed to be kind of a gag and like he's basically murdering a puppy

on screen. This is horrible. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. If you, if you didn't see that, it's pretty, it's a really good movie. You ever see Roger Rabbit Taylor? No, I haven't. There's a part where he's explaining how to kill a tune and there's these little sneakers, these little cartoon sneakers. They're just going,

boop, boop, boop, boop. And you're like, oh, look at those adorable little cartoon sneakers. And then is it Judge Doom, I think? It's played by, what do you call it? It's played by the guy Christopher Lloyd from Back to the Future. He's the evil judge or whatever. He goes, here's how you kill a tune turpentine. And he's got a vat of basically, like, a fucking barrel of acid.

And he takes this little cartoon shoe, and he just dunks it in there and, like, melts the fucking thing to death. It's, like, really graphically. So the premise of the movie, maybe you don't even know. It's cartoons. Well, they mix live action with classic animation. And, like, really well. Like, like, you have tunes in the real world, and then eventually you have Bob

Hoskins maybe whoever plays the main guy he goes into tune world and he's a man in the tune world so they do both and they do a really good job of making that work somehow but yeah that's a pretty I've been thinking about your question the problem is that like my grandmother would let me watch r-rated movies when I was like five so I wasn't getting scared by the childhood movies like I was getting scared by alien like I watched fucking alien when I was five years old I watched Terminator 2 when I was five. Grandma was phoning it in. Just, no. The movies you watched a little too early that stick with

you, where you're like, oh, I don't think I was supposed to watch that. The main one is Hellraiser Bloodline. Like, we were at the movie theater, or the movie the rental store, and me and my buddy Brad were having a sleepover at my house. We were like 11, 12 years

old or something like that. And I put, it was one of those things where I think you could like rent three movies for $10 or something. And the third movie I slipped in was Hellraiser Bloodline. And if you don't know, it's either the third or the fourth Hellraiser movie. They skip around through time. It is crazy violent and gory.

And there's like lots of sexual content. Me and Brad went in my room and watched that shit. And when we came out, we were pale as ghosts. Like, I remember my, when I was 11, my favorite meal was that chef boyardy pizza kit. Yeah. It comes in a box. And it's got, you make the dough and you've got, like, like a can of sauce with pepperoni's in it.

And there's like fake parmesan cheese and you make your own pizza. I loved that as a kid. She made that. And I was like, nah, I don't think I want any pizza right. I'm good. Like me and Brad are sitting there like just looking at our pizza and like no appetite,

pale face. And she's like, what's wrong guys? And we didn't say anything. Like I don't think we ever told her that you, you weren't paying attention and you rented us an incredibly graphic R-rated torture movie. Hellraiser is violent even in the horror world.

Like that's pretty brutal. Oh, yeah. For an 11-year-old? Yeah, it was rough. I remember being like nauseous and sick to my stomach and like really upset about it. Yeah. For a long time. Another one, and I know this is a common one with other people.

I'm not alone in this. When Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island and gets turned into a donkey, when I was a young child, that was very upsetting to me for something. I did not like that. I don't want to be a donkey. I don't want to be a donkey. The people there were mean too. Like he was like screeching.

He was shrieking doing his donkey shrink. His shriek is like, yaha, yeah, like trying to not to be a boy again. And they, oh, man. You know which one? Did you ever see the movie Brave Little Toaster? Yes. That was a good one. For the longest time, I think I was introduced to the concept of existential dread when they go to the junkyard.

and all the cars are singing about how their lives are over and it all amounted to nothing. And the song is called Worthless and it's a bunch of cars going, I was in the end of 500. Like singing about how great it was to be a car and drive real fast. Now at the end of your life,

you just on a conveyor belt, you'd turn into a fucking cube and none of this matters. Just kill yourself. And I'm like, ah! My God, that's a fun toaster movie.

This sucks. I forgot about it. Yeah, that scarred the shit out of me. That movie's dark. Dude, that movie's like, Hell of dark. Yeah. I remember thinking like that Blanky's going to be so dirty

after traveling across the country. That Blanky's disgusting. Do you remember when the air conditioner freaks out? The whole movie is about being a worthless piece of shit. The air conditioner goes, The master's never coming back. We're going to run forever in this. It's like the family's vacation home, right?

It's like their vacation cabin that they visit every once in a while. And they have fantasies about the mat. This was like Toy Story except completely fucked where all the inanimate objects had this disgusting. emotional connection to their master where it's not like, oh, well, the master's moved on. It's fine. It's like, no, without the master, we are nothing. We have no lives without the master.

I'm a toaster, for the love of God, and they're all dreaming about the master. And then the air conditioner just goes fucking nuts on him. He goes, he's never coming back. The master's not coming back. Where pieces of shit. I'm a fucking shitty air conditioner, and he explodes. Have you seen this movie, Woody? Oh.

You've never seen a brave little toaster? Oh, man. The boy goes to college and leaves all of his appliances and like not even toys. His appliance is electric blanket, his vacuum cleaner. Radio. TV. He leaves them all behind. And they all miss him so much that they like, they all climb on the back of the vacuum cleaner.

And it rolls them through like the countryside, like through the woods and the forest. It's like homeward bound, but it's appliances and animated. and they get on all sorts of like adventures as they get as they and when they finally get to the boy's apartment. Crazy. I miss this masterpiece. This is a children's film and it was very important to all of us. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay. When the,

when his appliances finally get to his apartment in the big city, I think he's not there or something when they pop in. He's got new appliances. The new appliance, like he's got like fancy shit. I think there's like a VCR or something. I don't know, like a plasma TV. Anyway, they start shit talking. Blanky's there. Blanky's got like a little kid voice.

I'm Blanky. He's like a little kid. He's an electric blanket. That's what I never understood as a kid. I never got that either. That's why he's got that little dial on him. You're like, how's an appliance? It's a blanket.

I didn't know what it was. I had never used an electric blanket at that time. I also never used an electric blanket. So it's like it's a bunch of appliances to hang out of the blanket. It gets cold here. Well, in any case, they like shit talk the old appliances. And they're like, he doesn't like you. He doesn't need you and he doesn't fucking want you.

Kick rocks. You fucking dusty ass radio. I got a hundred megawatts of power over here. Get the fucking moving that with that retarded electric blanket. I didn't even see your plug. It's all frayed and shit. A vacuum? What is that a dust bag attached to you?

I don't think so. We got a Dyson in the back. All right? Get out of here. And they like kick them to the curb and they literally end up in the junkyard like in Toy Story, like going down like an assembly line of murder. Like accepting their fates and ready to die. As cars sing about how they're about to die.

I don't remember. Does it ends happy, right? Does he rescue his stuff? How do they sell rescue? My master is like, somehow, oh, no, wait. The radio, the TV, the TV puts on a fake broadcast going like, you got to come to the junkyard. We got all this great stuff at the junkyard.

The master's going, man, where's all the stuff in the cabin? And he's like, ah, I should go to the junkyard. and he finds all his old appliances there and rushes them in the nick of time. Oh, this is, I forgot about at the junkyard, the appliances despair believing Rob no longer wants them. They are picked up by a large scowling electromagnet

and are about to be destroyed by a crush. Toy Story. Toy Story stole that shit. Rob arrive at the junkyard. They regain hope and attempt to rejoin him. The magnet thwarts their escape and forces them onto the conveyor belt leading to the crusher. Rob spots all the appliances except Toaster on a

conveyor belt and attempts to rescue them. But the magnet picks them all up and drops them back on the belt. Toaster jumps into the Crusher's gears, stopping it just before it flattens Rob and the others, but is badly mangled in the process. Back at the apartment, Rob repairs Toaster while dismissing Chris's suggestion to buy a new toaster instead. And then they depart for college with all the old old, frankly, terrible appliances. That was a good movie. It was a great movie. Yeah, I like that one. You've ever seen the Goofy movie where it's like Goofy and his son doing stuff?

Yeah, I remember I used to feel sad for Goofy because his son was being a shithead and Goofy was trying to connect. And his son was like being badios and he heated them up with the car cigarette lighter underneath. Yeah. For some reason that's stuck in my mind. Yeah. It's stuck in my mind for like the last 25 fucking years. Something about that scene was so memorable. I've had the Power Lion song, Eye to Eye.

stuck in my head for ever since I saw that movie. I'll just be walking around town. I'll be like, it would da, that, dat, that, fuck, now I can't believe it. Great segue.

Oh, great segue, Vito. Vito can't even remember his own song. He knocked it out of my head. Oh, yeah, blame me. Okay? That's how we play the game here. One way or another. Gonna get it along.

Dude, power line was the best. Okay. They completely fucked up with Goofy movie. Goofy movie was the path forward for Disney. Is that you introduce an entire goof family. You have Max Goof. You have the girlfriend, Roxanne. It's the same thing they did with Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit was like a moment in time that it's like,

if you just continued making more Roger Rabbit shit, could have been an enduring character. They wrote Roxanne out of the extended Goofy universe. Roxanne was just missing for like 15 years. What happened to Max's girlfriend? And Max was like barely even used at all. Yeah, Max wasn't very good. I remember not liking the way that.

I remember not liking the way they would eat pepperoni pizza because the pizza was so floppy that like toppings would fall off before they even began to eat it or to eat it. And I was like, this is this is messy. These guys are rude. That's a meme now, the cheese pole of the pizza from a goofy movie. People go, you'll never have a pizza as good as that goofy movie pizza as PJ pulls the slice loose and the cheese is just, oh my God. Do you don't know that meme? You've never seen the people talk about the goof troop The goofy movie pizza is the best pizza

I mean the pictures are coming back to me Now that I've looked them up yes That that fat kid Holding it up right at max But yeah the main thing I remember Wasn't the fucking cooking of the beans It was how sad I felt You see this one

You see this one? I like how he's got like an onk On his Yeah dude She's got a thrash your t-shirt This is my goofy movie head canon That they're just living Living a shitty life

Goofy movie endures Power Line is an icon Yeah, it's a good movie We've all got something to think about tonight And it's Brave Little Toaster Not the goofy movie Both good Both solid animated films

I was also fan of the Chipmunks adventure That was not up there With Brave Little Toaster Great music. The boys of rock and roll, the girls of rock and roll. No, no. I was never big on the time. But didn't they sing like chipmunks and the high pitch voice? That's what it was. That's what was enduring. Oh, we don't like the chipmunks now. We don't like chipmunks. Now that's an American, yeah, that's an American icon.

Dave Seville, one man alone with a tape recorder realizes that if he speeds up the recording a little bit, it makes his voice sound funny and creates an entire enduring fucking franchise based on that one gimmick alone. That's incredible. It's a one-man operation. The family still owns it. You're not selling it. You're just telling me how bad it is. It's not bad. He was a recording artist. He sat down. First, he made the witch doctor song, which is technically not a chipmunk song, was later retconned into a chip punk song. I saw the witch doctor. He told me what, you know that one? Bum, bum, bomb. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then the Christmas one, I want a hula hoop, Alvin. Oh, that's a enduring. And then when you thought the chipmunt,

were going to go away, he saved them in the 80s. They put out Chipmunk punk. They put on an entire punk album of Chipmunks tunes. Didn't work. The Chipmunks were on their last legs after Chipmunk punk. Your Honor, the defense will just rest. The chipmunks, late 80s. The prosecution made my case for me.

So it's, no, keep, keep walks us through the history. Late 80s, the chipmunks are down, but not out. I'm going to show you the cover of Chimmunk punk right now. Now, this was the low point for the chipmunks. They didn't know what to do. They put out chipmunk punk. It was a complete sales disaster. Jesus Christ.

I had this album. Okay. You had this album. But then they rescued it. I had a lot of chipmunk albums as a kid, but I knew that they were stupid. And then we would just play regular like Billy Joel Adams on 78 RPM, like for 45. And they all sounded like chipmuffs. Damn.

Well, shout out chipmunks. That never struck me as good. I remember when you said the hula hoop thing. I almost grit my teeth. I hate that song so much. It's unreal that chipmunks song. Which one? I'm a deep love for Ross Bagdarian Jr.

who took over the voice of the shipmunks. That one that Kyle's doing is terrible. But we can't play. Christmas don't be late. I appreciate you guys singing it so the people know I'm right. Okay. Spass Christmas Christmas time. I love that song.

That's a fucking American classic. What was the story with the dad and the chipmunks? He like found him in a, he just found him and raised them. Now listen, there's a lot of origin stories for the chipmunks that have crossed over the years. There's no agreed upon origin.

But yes, it is a great, it is typical that he found the chipmunks and learned that they could sing. Damn. I miss, I miss when you could just have a band of cartoon characters. You don't get a lot of,

Chuckie Cheese. Remember the Chuckie Cheese band? Yeah. Are there no cartoon character bands nowadays? The gorillas. Gorillas. Other than gorillas, I can't think of anybody. Let's play the song game, Zach. I want to play the song game.

How do we play the song game? Okay. So I am here. I'm not sure. Who knows? Legitimate rage went through and got all the lyrics for this and did it all himself and then passed it over to me and said, hey, the guys might like this.

So each question is going to be the lyrics and the artist and song. If you like the artist, you can give up one of your two points. Okay. Each question is two points. So we're just going to read and we'll give us some lyrics and we complete them and name the artist for two. But we could also take the artist as a hint, maybe helping us with the lyrics. Okay, okay. But in no point, do we need the song title?

We need the title and artist. You got to give the title and the artist in order to get the second point if you don't ask for the artist. Okay. All right. I understand. There was originally a bonus question for Kyle, Taylor, and Woody that were songs that were specifically for them that they should get. But we're just going to give them as open questions for everybody. So it's going to say Woody's question, Taylor's question, and Kyle's question.

It's just an open question. Let's do what we got. Okay. First one, you got to know when to hold them and you got a no one to hold them. How do I answer? How do we answer? Do we buzz it? I'm first.

I'm first. This is Kenny Rogers the gambler. That is the answer. Well, he didn't finish the lyric though, did he? Oh, was that? Which was kind of the whole point. Yep. He specifically said for two points, you have to get the song in the artist.

So that's three things. You got to get the song, artist, and finish the lyric. You got to know when to walk away and no one to run. I promise you I sang this a zillion times. But now I know the rules. I will give Woody one. There is no answer. Even.

I will give one point to Woody. One. But you got the game. I didn't get two points there. You should get two points. Two points was for the lyric. Okay. I will give him to.

I was retarded. I don't understand. If there's only two points on the board, but there's three answers. You didn't get one. It was originally written. Yeah. That's just how it was written to me.

It was you get one point. You get two points for answering the entire question. One, you can get one. give away if you're like the artist. Okay, okay. No, you just get one point per correct thing. Boom. Okay.

You can tell my arms, go back to the farm, you can tell my feet to hit the floor, you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips, they won't be reaching out for you no more. No idea. I don't know. It sounds like Dolly Parton stuff, but I don't know. It's, it sounds like a Miley Cyrus shit. This isn't a country song. So you don't think it's Dolly Parton?

country songs? It's not Dolly Bar. No. No, they are not all country songs. Does anyone want to sacrifice a point to learn the artist? Yeah, sacrifice a point. Okay. Taylor is sacrificing a point. Negative one. All right. No, you can't go below zero. You can't get a free. Did you say it was Miley Cyrus? It's Billy Ray Cyrus. Oh, I was close. I said Miley Cyrus. I have no idea. It is country. All right. So, nobody got anything right. I don't know what that is. I know the artist.

Is this save a horse ride a cowboy? No. He doesn't move. No. It is. Don't kill my heart. My achy-breaking heart. I should do that. That's Aiky-Bricky Heart. Wow. I guess I don't know the lyrics to Akey-Bricky Heart, though. We're all so bad at music questions. We're not going to get any of the shit. I'll know the rest of them. It's cool. I kind of hope Woody gets this one, but you know what it is. Number three, I guess I just lost my husband. I don't know where he went. Fuck.

You know what, Woody? I know I'm not going to do well in this quiz. So tick me down to minus two, Zach. Reveal the artist. Okay, gotcha. It is pink. Pink. Oh, fuck.

I have an idea. I might know what science is. I have an idea, too. I'm just trying to like make a rock star? No, no. I know. I'm just a girl by... No, no, no.

It's... I think this is... I think it might be Raise Your Glass, the name of the song. I'm trying to remember the lyric that fall. I just... I don't know where he went. I've heard it a million times.

I'm just not good at this. I cannot find him anywhere. I know his name is Brent. I like it, but that's not it. I don't know. When you say it, I'm going to feel so silly. Are you good, Woody? I'm good, I'm good, I give up.

Man, I should have known. It is the song before Raise Your Glass. It is, so what? So what? Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to drink his money and I'm not going to pay his rent. I've heard this a million times.

I can play this on the guitar. Well, that's a challenge, Woody. That would be a really funny thing to hear someone say. Oh, fuck. Bing, bang, bang. Take me down to the Paradise City with the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh, won't you please take me.

Home. Home. Guns and roses. Don't help him? Oh, Guns and roses. Paradise City. Is it called Paradise City? Yes. I think it is called Paradise City.

Okay. If the name of the song is in the lyric, then it's a bad question. That's a poorly made game. We're going to bear it. Head down. That's how you get to the end of one of these. Hey, some things are stupid and some things are funny.

We'll get it. Okay, so what is this? If ever-changing world is where we're living. Makes you give in. Oh, shit, I know this one. It's a changing world and what you're going on? I know, yeah, buzzing. Okay.

Live and let die. Live and let die. What's his fucking name? John Lennon. Paul McCartney. Yep. is the name of the song live and let die Paul McCartney, live and let live and let die.

What's the next lyric? Makes you giving it cry. I think it's just living let die. It is. But if there's ever chill, well, let's say live and let die. Elton John Gunson and Roses. Hold on.

Wait, that wasn't Paul McCartney. So he gets one point maybe? Nope. Two points, right? I say all of you take three. Well, I don't know. It seems like three is not on the board. No, Paul McCartney did live and let die.

for in 1973 so was that like you should count to a remake yeah what do you mean what do you say in elton john it's living let die by fucking paul mccartney did he i mean i've sang this song myself a time or two you could you could say it was by me if you wanted no written by paul and linda mccartney performed by wings all right we're gonna get three john guns and roses i i don't Zach said they fully disconnected. I'll be right back. He should disconnect in shame.

Is that his pronoun? Is he they? Yeah. They them? He told me recently. Keep it on the down low, though. He said, like, don't tell anybody I'm they now. But they them, he said.

All right. Well, I don't know. Technically, Pauls, Garnie, and Wings. I think a few things to iron out there. Did they them? No, I liked it more than you guys. I wish I was better at it. Well, I.

Well, I have two game ideas that I think are actually fun, and I keep trying to figure out how I'm going to do them. I found a way to do Jeopardy, and I would like to do a Jeopardy game that I host with you two and a guest, where the questions are made to be very unfair, like their entire categories that Woody should get them all or Taylor should get them all. I think that's a funny bit. A whole cheese category would be hilarious because Woody doesn't know.

He knows two cheeses at best. And the second one is sharp cheddar. So, like, he's in big trouble. He's catching in on mild, medium, and sharp. The other one I really like, the other one I really like is family feud. And, like, not the full game of family feud, but I think that we should, we should.

It's like, we polled 100 Patreon members and asked them what, and then, like, those are the ranked questions that we're playing with. That would be fun. Like, we don't need to go. Once again, top answer on the board is your game. gay. Damn it. I almost said that. There is some of that in this, Kyle.

I promise you. Do you guys want to keep going or not? I want to know if I got my points for correctly. I put him there. I put him there. Is it 3-3-1? Who do the scores? I think I got two points.

What do you is at two? Kyle's at three. Taylor's at negative two and Vito is at three. Okay. But I've been falling on my sword, sort of self-ness. You're going to get positive place at the end for, yeah. I'm a cowboy. I got a horse ride.

So it is Bon Jovi. Cowboy on a steam. It ring it. I said I got it. I don't know what I said. I'm wanted dead or alive. What's the name of the song? Wanted dead or alive.

I said it in the lyric. that doesn't count I want it dead or alive for Vito's benefit alright I'll give you points asterisk near far

I got it buzzing in I hear far wherever you are I am here in your heart and my heart will go on and my heart will go on

Celine Dion that was amazing was that correct the song right and the artist right did I not finish the lyric correctly not the lyrics correctly no what is it

near far I believe that the heart knows go on I believe that the heart does go on I think there's multiple parts of that song probably she's all stiff now she's got that stiff person syndrome

yeah she has locked it no not locked it's turned into a statue she's got that's like a doctor who illness like she's literally turning into a statue. He was a boy. She was a girl. I don't. That's

Buzz again. That is Avril Levine skater boy. He was a boy. She was a girl. Could I make it any more obvious? Yes. That was amazing. Come on. You guys are getting blown out.

Mombo number five. I said I got it while he was feeding the answers. You guys sing it. together and kind of in a harmony. A little bit of Monica in my life. A little bit of. Who?

Who? Who? A little bit of Monica in my life. A little bit of something. If you doesn't get it, I want to buzz in it. A little bit of Rita by my side. It's Mamba number five. I want to give my, I want to give my to.

I think it's a little bit of Monica in my life. A little bit of Erica by my side. Is that correct? Yep. Vito got it. Ooh. Yes. By Lou Vega. With the songbird.

Rita's the next person that he says. I said, A little bit of Rita's what I need. A little bit of Tina. I think we should split points. I got Mamba number five before he buzzed in. We didn't get the fucking next lyric. The game is the top thing is not the...

You can't define what the game is. There's three answers. It's bigger font. It's bigger font. The song and artist comes after. The font is indeed larger. And I'm... And I'm like, this is my song.

This is by me. And I see you switch to YouTube as soon as you spawn. And I'm like, Shucks you. Fuck, I don't know the next lyric. Can I lock you to Ooo? Yeah, it's a woo-oo, right? So it's by me. I think it's called Shucks You.

And the lyric, which is the larger font, give me a moment. I see you switching to YouTube as soon as you spawn. I'm like, shucks you. Fuck, I don't remember. Is there something about driving around town? No. No.

In the real one, there is. In the real one there. I almost want to look it up. Is that song still on the internet? Yes. Take the L. You don't get you. I'm going to lock in the artist as Woody.

That's pretty good. All right, what is the next lyric? I don't think I know it. So bump me up to mind as well. I guess the bullets in your gun. Just worn enough. I do remember that now. I guess it was try hard, didn't you as well?

Whatever. Well, he sang it. I wrote it. I guess it's really the singing that made it good, I guess. It's really the writer that people always talk about when you talk about a song. So kind of a song, you know. I'd like to buzz in. I tried so hard.

I got so far. But in the end, it doesn't eat. even matter. Lincoln Park in the end. Amazing. Amazing. I think we know who the winner's going to be. It's closer than you think it would be.

Woody is at eight. Kyle's at three. Taylor's at negative two, bringing up the rear. And Vito is up 14. That's not that close. Very close. What does Vito have?

14. I'd like to buzz in. Once upon a time I was falling love. Now I'm only falling apart. Nothing I can say. Total eclipse. of the heart. This is total eclipse of the heart by

Pat Benatar. I don't have the artist. I'll take the lyric. Is it slip-knock? Total eclipse of the heart. Fucking asshole. Bonnie Tyler. That's a tough one.

She was actually my second guess. I got it. Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't dating no broke, broke. is the family-friendly version by Kanye and this song is called Gold Digger. But she, that's...

Yeah. Messing with no broke, broke. Yep. Who knows the censored version. Because it was always on the radio. I don't look at it recently. Okay, now is the limited questions that aren't limited.

Now these ones are with 20 points each. Yes, 20 points each. Yeah. I'm not afraid to take a stand, everybody. I mean, I know. the song. This is a song. I don't know who's saying. I'm not afraid to take a stand

everybody, but I don't know where it goes after that. You want to stand or something. Take my hand. Who's it by Veehan? I don't know. I just remember that lyric. Everybody. Everybody. Let's hold hands. I'm not getting any points on this. I just know

I know of the song. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, you're closer than we are. Is it DMX? It's M&M, right? Is it DM? It's an M&M sample. It's from, I don't care.

It's the answer. It is an M&M song. It's not afraid. Not afraid. Well, that would make sense. Come take my hand. Taylor. I'm still standing after all this time,

picking up the pieces of money. Can I buzz in? Yes. I'm still standing. after all this time. Elton John, picking up the pieces of my life. Oh, fuck.

What's the lyric? With you right by my side. I'm still standing. Yeah. Still standing Elton John. It's, is I'm still standing Elton John, but what is the next thing?

Taking up the pieces of my life and you still by my side. Without you on my side. Without you by my side. Without you by my side. Let's try without you by my side. I'm still standing by Elton John. I don't know if you said. Without you.

I hadn't heard it until I said it. All right. You put me up to a crisp zero for I'm still standing it up. And the last song? I got it. This is Tommy by the... He never learned to read. He never learned to read so well, but he could work a controller like a ring and a bell.

This is would be good by me. But he could work a controller like a ring in a bell. Go, go. Go, Woody, go, go. That's what's next. That is what's next. It is written by Woody. There it is.

I forgot the name of it. I used to do this thing, whatever I want a free-for-all against my friends in Call of Duty, who were very good. It didn't happen all the time that I would write a song about it and upload it. I beat Kyle's friend in that, Socrates,

in that video. He was very good. Well, I think Vito, you're the, like music can get i can get there sometimes yeah i just skater boy you guys should have got though everybody knows skater boy so that was i got it once you said it i mean after you after you put a tune to it i was like right right she i like that one final scores what were the final scores what were the final score vito with 17 taylor with zero kyle with five and woody with 11 oh

Had this had a kip going, Vito would have doubled up on me. So you guys fucked up. Unfortunately, I don't know all the Woody-centric Woody songs. Even with six points of three. And here's the song you personally wrote for yourself. Vito, do you want to buzz in? No, I don't think I do want to buzz in there. I was surprised that there wasn't any Taylor Swift either.

But, you know, I know you like Taylor Swift. I was already going to be like current, any like current modern music I get completely fucked. Yeah, me too. I just don't know any music. Even like the Elton John songs that I like a lot because I love Elton John. He's the best. I don't know like the lyrics. Elton John is the best, do you think?

I just really like his music. I think even Elton John doesn't know the lyrics. Famously, he doesn't even write the lyrics for his songs. He's like, I don't know how to make words sound cool. I don't care. He's a great singer. I don't care if you writes him or not. He's a longstanding

He's always like, I just like playing on the piano And then his buddy comes on and he goes, It's about a tiny dancer Like a little lady and she's just dancing Like I love it, fuck it Let's go That's great Yeah

And I like I think the music video If I'm still standing is like him Dressed as gay as the day is long In a convertible Like driving by like guys in hot pants Like jumping around on the beach I don't remember the hot pants but I remember his sunglasses and his suit.

Yeah. The orange suit was a big look for him. If you had to pick an artist, you have to listen to his music for 100 hours straight. Who you picking? You have to like it, and it has to be enough that you're not just listening to some song on repeat. I can do the Beatles, I guess. Ross Bag, Deserian creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Easy.

I still want to. It just gets better every time. I can do the Beatles. I'm doing this long session of Fallout 4, and one of the mods that I've installed is like additional radios for like your pit boy, so you're not listening to the same 15 songs or whatever that Fallout has. And I've got one that's just the Beatles. And so like I'll play that game for like four hours straight,

just listening to four hours worth of Beatles songs one after another. Every so often I get on a Beatles kick, and then I realize I don't really like the Beatles. I just like four songs. Oh, this is... Well, the great thing about the Beatles is, it's like, you get a lot of variety that you don't get for most bands. That is true.

Yeah, yeah, most bands... Most bands play the same song, and you're like, hey, Beatles kind of got like some rock, some little... It's like there's seven different bands. My was Grandma songs. For whatever reason, Billy Joel has like a 50% hit rate on me, and he's written a billion songs.

I probably would have to pick Elton John. I don't know who else I would like that has a large music music. music catalog. Which is your favorite Elton John song. I'm still standing. That's why I like Rockin' out rock. Like candle in the wind. Like candle in the wind. I agree. I can't go wrong.

Rocket Man. Let's just name Elton John's songs. It's fun. Yeah, we got nine minutes. Let's name Elton Johnson's associate you with a song. What is it? It's a winning hype song that Taylor loves. Oh, is it from Jock Jams? Because I love Jock Jams. It probably is.

What is that Jock Jams? What is the What is the song that? Oh, is it, let's get ready to rumble? No, it's. We are champions, perhaps. It might be by a European band. It's, fuck. He finds it motivational and uplifting in like a psych up song.

Oh, the final countdown. Is final countdown. Yeah. I remember that because I was like, I first heard it. I was like driving with my friend. in high school. I was in the passenger seat and I had never heard the song and he's driving and we sit like we're just not talking

for like four minutes and we're listening to the final countdown blaring. I've never heard this and he just turns to me like in the middle of it and he's like this is just the best song man and then he's like I love this. I love the final countdown and I was like this is a good song the final countdown by the Europe.

By Europe right? So I heard Taylor love final countdown and he's like this is the best song, this is it. It was like his hype song for getting ready for like Nazi zombies or something. I was like, you know, this is a good song. I myself and I don't stop believing by Journey Guy, but I can respect

Final Countdown too. Don't stop believe in solid. That's a song that's playing at the end of Sopranos. That's what that song means to me now is like that final scene in Sopranos. I'm re-watching it again for like the 18th fucking time. I saw that. Oh, I still catch stuff that I hadn't seen before in that show. It's great.

So, For a roundtable question, you're watching HBO. The staticky thing comes on the screen and it goes, what song starts playing? Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun. Okay. My mama said you was the chosen one. I thought that would be your answer.

Vito, what's yours? No, I think, honestly, maybe it's just because we were talking about sopranos, but it does seem to be. woke up this morning got myself I think it's me yeah that's mine true blood

true blood yeah I think it would be for me I'm gonna do bad things to you like like that was it for me for a long time the wire does a different song every season so it doesn't doesn't stick as much good for this but but it's the sopranos

for me that was the first thing that that that meant quality. That's the sound of quality to me. That's the sound of like something heavy when you take the lid off and it doesn't just fall apart. Like, oh, this is a good thing.

You hear that that's fucking HBO. This episode costs $65 million. Let's pay attention. Maybe not so much anymore, but it definitely was for a long time. I'm not going to lie, though. Occasionally you hear the crackling.

It's boom, bomb, boom. Yeah, yeah. A little curb. A little curb. enthusiasm seen all that too i didn't watch the final season because i found him his he's so aged i found him to be too pathetic to be funny for me anymore it took you to the last season for you to think that yeah yeah the last season he ages significantly i think maybe there was some covid delays between the last season the season before and plus like he was always kind of lackadaisical on the production

schedule six 20 years to do 10 episodes or 10 seasons rather 79 yeah whatever he's got a new show that i here it sucks. Yeah, it sucks. They're all like, it's the last time you see what's his name. Who's that guy who's kid stabbed him? Rob Reiner. Rob Reiner. Everyone's like, oh, Rob Reiner's final appearance. He's like, ah, that's not a great way to end it. And his-Rob-Riner story is hilarious. Well, not hilarious, you say.

Well, you know, Bill Hayter has been like, tell me a little bit of all right about the Rob-Riner story. Do you know what happened that they had a party at Conan O'Brien's house? and Bill Hader was Bill Hatering it up. He was telling a great story. He's like, ah, you know, I'm Bill Hater and I'm telling a story. And then Rob Reiner's kid kept trying to jump into the story. He's like, yeah, yeah, I got stories too or whatever. And then Bill Hater, like, basically roasted Rob Reiner's kid.

And he was like, yeah, this is kind of like the popular kid says. Like, you're nothing. And then Rob Reiner's kid went crazy and it was like fighting with everybody. And Bill Hater killed Rob Reiter by roasting Rob Reiner. by roasting Rob Reiner's kid so hard that it pushed him over the edge. And people keep trying to ask Bill Hader, like, hey, what happened to that party?

He's like, I don't want to talk about this. That's crazy. I've never heard this story. Yeah. Apparently, like, he lost his mind because Bill Hader snubbed him. He was like, yeah, this is like where the comedians hang out. You're Rob Reiner's kid.

Get the fuck out of here or whatever. He was on a knife sedge walking into that. Like, there's no way Bill Hater be. and dickhead is well yeah no he was like in there like fucking heroin scratching his neck being like oh yeah bill hey yeah bill he's like get the fuck out of here who the fuck are you yeah he wasn't going to go home and play like valerant if that hadn't happened he was he was a man on a mission and now he's waiting like bill hater's been avoiding like any like public speaking or like interviews because i think he feels real bad he's like yeah maybe maybe i shouldn't have

pushed that junkie psychopath over the edge yeah maybe maybe not yeah hindsight is 20 but he's still an asshole. Well, Bill Hader is an asshole. I don't know. I don't, well, I don't exactly know how it goes down.

I want to hear his side of the story. He wasn't there. He didn't know what he really said to it. Don't think less of, don't think less of Bill Hader. Bill Hader's hilarious. Apparently a little mean towards people who were down.

We don't know that. We don't know. And what if he was being like really mean? Yeah, that is what Vito said. I'm trying to see if I can find. I'm trying to find the quote. I'm trying to find the quote.

When the S&L alum told Nick he was in the middle of a private conversation, the source says Nick just stood there and stared before storming off the unsettling it. So basically Bill Hader is like chatting it up with his friends. I'm Bill Hader. You don't even know how to use that knife. But he, when did he kill the dead? Was it like hours later?

Yeah, hours later. Yeah. Same night. He stood on it for a bit. well well i guess rob and his wife were at home they didn't go to the conan o'brien party i'm guessing no i think they were at the party

wonder if a conan o'brien party's fun of course it is why would yeah it's awesome you might be witness to a murder yeah you get involved with some at least on the pre-dain part yeah allegedly he interrupted a conversation bill hater was having at the annual bash hater told him hey man there's a private conversation

get out of here you fucking weirdo go play with the knives or something you psychopath and then Rob Reiner ended up dead I got a wait I got a picture of Bill Hader after he got the news

about what happened this is him reacting yeah yeah I I should have I should have I should have just let him

jump in should I just let him say what he wanted to say, I guess. I don't know he's going to take it that hard. What if it was the most, like, banal who cares conversation ever to me? He's like, yeah, do you see that Phillies game? We're up five, four, and get the fuck out of here, dude.

We're talking about Grand Theft Auto 6, okay? If you're not a fan of Grand Theft Auto, get out. Oh, speaking of that. I know we're kind of at the end here. Did you see the leak, the GTA six leaks? I didn't watch. I saw that they existed. I flipped around a little bit.

The stuff I saw was low quality and, you know, So I guess the people who are releasing it are mad that GTA is doing this digital only release or whatever. And to protest against it, they are like slowly leaking more and more of the game. The clip I saw was he was in a plane flying over the map, showing the whole map off. And he paused the game and showed the whole map, which hadn't been revealed yet. And they like cycle through all the radio stations. And then he stood there and shot a wall a little bit. I saw a clip of him surfing.

Oh. The surfing doesn't even consider the waves. He just surfs anywhere he won. He surfs back out. I'm like, what the fuck is this fake surfing? Real surfers are going to hate this. He was running from the police on a surfboard as the police boats chased him. I'm like, this is the gayest fucking shit ever.

But that's what I saw. Unimpressed. Yeah. It looks so lame. They showed you the wrong thing Of course Like I did I saw the surfing clip

And the parameding clip Terrible Then at the end He files his taxes Completely wrong Like Who the fuck E files for the federal And mails in the state

You need a notary dummy You can't put that in a mailbox Oh Here's the plane one Yeah there's a lot of this I'm just watching a plane fly around I don't know what I'm supposed to get out of this Dude I

A single player console game Why is this even hyped? Because they paid a lot to make it. Well, because people like GTA, so they've got a pretty strong property. It is interesting that there's really no, like, it feels like there should be more GTA clones that are competent, given that they give you a 10-year window to release anything.

But St. Roe got all bastardized. Simpson's hit and run. Weird thing. I'm playing cyberpunk right now. I don't really have that much time in it. Let me tell you real quick. I'll see it. I'm going to guess you've got eight hours.

400 point well 4.1 hours. Dude, it is a long four hours. I can hardly sit through this shit. I just did the fucking, what is the brain hacking tutorial? That must have been 40 minutes of rewinding and looking for the heat

signature of the steam grate or something. This is the worst game ever. What the fuck? You don't like like the cheese, Woody. And that's okay. Yeah, cyberpunk sucked. I mean, I haven't played it since they fixed it. I played it the week it came out and I was like, this is a buggy fucking mess, but... He says he doesn't like

it because the game was broken when he played it. You don't like it because you literally don't like RPGs. This is like someone who doesn't like shellfish. You keep getting those shrimp cocktails. You keep ordering them thinking you're going to like the shrimp cocktail, but you don't. If you build your character just right, it's kind of an aim trainer

that's not an aim trainer. You stuck on that. I don't know who said that, but like... I don't think that's true. Yeah. Like, like, maybe that's even true, but the idea of going like balls deep into a deep AAA RPG just to get to the end game part

of a character where he's sort of aim trainee, it's probably 40 or 50 hours worth the gameplay to get your character to the level where he does the thing that you want him to do, plus a few rare items. Like that's how most RPGs are. Like, you've got to enjoy it. You've got to enjoy

being that character. Who enjoys listening to women talking video games? That's what it is. I mean, as long as they're not too bossy, you know, I, you know, I, then I'm okay. Or the right kind of bossy. Yeah, that portal lady, every once in a while, I'm like, shut up.

Gladys? Yeah, Gladys is being a bitch. Gladys, isn't it? Is it Gladys or Gladys? I thought it was Gladys, Gladys, I guess. Yeah. I know she's not a woman, she's a robot, but she's. They added some Butch bitch to the new Master Chief Edition or whatever, this remaster,

who like bosses the master chief around. And if you try to kill her, like, you can kill any of the other NPCs, like the Marines, the male Marines, you can shoot them. But if you try to shoot the chick, the other chick, Insta kills Master Chief. Like, she just shoots you in the back of the head and kills you instantly. And there's like multiple scenes. There's multiple scenes where like the new bossy bad bitch is like, I don't know why we're, what's especially about these Spartans anyway?

Like she's constantly like tearing Master Chief down. And then there's another character who was, there used to be just like a white guy sitting at a computer console. And then like one of the main characters is over his shoulder. He's like showing him something that's on the computer console. and like now it's a black woman and like over in the corner like there's another character used to be a white guy

now he's just a black woman like they just went in and like the fantasy of like black women in every military organization oh they've got to have faulty black women or whatever will we do did they make Cortana ugly

they change so their Cortana was ugly a couple games ago I don't follow Halo too much I remember she got ugly and kind of butch the clips I've seen of new Cortana she's different but not necessarily ugly I thought

I thought she looked okay, but she doesn't look like herself, or like what I think of is Cortana. But I don't think, I don't know why people play Halo after Halo 3 unless you just want multiplayer experience. What they did of the story is nonsense. The first three Halo games plus ODSD are a complete story. Like you don't need to, the rest of it is bullshit. Can you still play Halo 3 multiplayer? I think they. I loved Halo 3 multiplayer.

I played the shit of that. Although then Call of Duty 4 came out and then I got obsessed with that. That's what we all that's what I did as well yeah What do you call it? I'm seeing everybody I want it to be good the new Wolverine game I'm seeing everybody go I'm seeing people and they're like oh they used like female motion capture for Wolverine

he's gonna run like a chick and I'm like well he's like an inhuman animal man who's five foot tall you probably need a tiny little Asian girl to do backflips for the motion capture so I'm not too worried about that yeah I don't give a shit about that's that's dumb to care about I bet they got the person who did the best job to do the motion cap for Wolverine Yeah, I'm really not.

Because I do care more than you guys, it seems. Like I really like the characters to move in a specific athletic way. I'd have to see it. Is he like running like hippie? You take the motion capture as like a baseline. Like wiggling his ass as he walks down. He's about to face down some samurai and he's popping his pussy. Well, that's how women's hips work.

That's how they run. And so like if he's hip in it about, that would be kind of funny. I get people worried because I played that Spider-Man too. and then like halfway I'm playing Spider-Man 2 and it's like I gotta help this gay kid get to the prom and I'm like all right I mean I know why this is in the game

let's just get it through quickly and help a kid propose to his partner yeah that's how low the stakes are of that quet if I'm playing a superhero game I don't really play them like I kind of want to be I'm going to see my bad my enemy like destroying skyscrapers

like I need to be stopping that You help a gay kid propose? That's ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, man, Spider-Man, you got to help me with my prom-posal. And then, like, the electronic sign he's set up. Because it's, you're also playing his black Spider-Man who's going to like, I think, I don't

know if he's in college or super high school or whatever. And he's like, yeah, yeah, he's like, oh, yeah, I'll help you. You know, and the nerdy kid made like a light-up sign that says, will you go to prom with me? And it's like, Spider-Man, use your webs, conduct electricity to light up my gay prom sign. And I'm like, all right. seem like things he could have done without Spider-Man. Like an extension cord.

Yeah. He's just wasting Spider-Man's time. A blind Asian girl and you got to help her learn the power of love or some shit. And I'm like, okay, I understand why you guys are skeptical about Wolverine. I think that's fair. I don't think Wolverine's going to help a gay kid get to the prom. That sounds terrible.

That sounds like the lowest stakes I can even fathom. It's the gay thing for me. It's the promposal. It's like Taylor's saying. It's just incredibly low stakes. It's stupid. What's the worst thing that can happen? She says no.

Then you just tie her up on a train track or something. Also, every time in those games where you're like, man, I just love being Spider-Man and doing Spider-Man stuff. And they go, well, let's see what Mary Jane is up to. I'm like, no, let's not do that. And it's like, you're a journalist sneaking around as Mary Jane. And I'm like, I don't want to be Spider-Man's girlfriend sneaking around and fucking, oh, there's bad guys.

And then she knocks the bad guys out with like one hit. I'm like, no, they turn around and they go, bitch and like fucking swappering on the wall. They made her ugly too. Oh, yeah. Show us ugly Mary Jane from the Spider-Man game. Oh, she's ugly in the game. Oh, yeah. She's got a big old chin.

Yeah, yeah. They're masculine. I was playing, I put Paul at 76 in. I hadn't played it since a release. It's been like five or six years. I wanted to see what they had done. As soon as I like came out of the vault, Walton Goggins is there as the ghoul from the TV show.

The actor is, like, as that character. And he's like, hey there. like in his Walton Goggins voice giving you bounties. That was pretty neat. Yeah, she's not as ugly as I remember. I remember being like a real. She's not ugly to me. Yeah, she looks fine.

It depends on the angle they get her from. Yeah. Well, clearly different from one to the other. Those are different human beings. Oh, I thought it was the same. I mean, I'm sure there's supposed to be. I did too, Taylor. Yeah.

But I don't think either of it. I'm like, don't say anything, Woody, just don't tell, don't say. Those are human women. Well, I will not be playing the game where you have to, you know, date on behalf of an NPC as Dr. Octopus is, you know, destroying the entire city. I guess that also has the problem. You got Peter Parker, Spider-Man, you got Miles Morales, Spider-Man. And I was talking to my buddy last night.

He's like, can they just come up with another name for Miles Morales, Spider-Man? Because all the dialogue is, hey, Spider-Man. Oh, what's going on, Spider-Man? man they both call each other spider man he goes in the middle of battles he's like spider man look out thanks spider man you're like this sucks just give him a different give him a name at this fucking you know what maybe he should be spider man spider man spider man yeah spider man yeah so you know uh where can everybody find your channel your shows well guys i'm now in charge of the biggest problem in the universe and we got some big guests coming by. I've had Billy the Fridge, which

who we love has been on. I got Carl Hamburger from Who Are These Podcasts coming on. And I got a bunch of Taylor, you might be coming on doing an episode of Biggest Problem in the near future. We'll have to work out on. I want to get you on there. Maybe Woody, Woody, if you ever looking for some podcasting fun. But come on. YouTube.com slash biggest problem. You check out my personal channel at YouTube.com slash Vito. And if you're into the magic cards YouTube.com slash draft

magic. We're doing our weekly Magic the Gathering podcast. A lot of fun. All right. Check all that out.

All right. Check it out if you're gay. P.K.A. 818. Exactly.