Painkiller Already - PKA 824 W/ Finnster: The Weirdest Request I've Ever Gotten

Episode Date: October 3, 2026

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Learn more about that below. Kyle, you had some alarming news that somehow didn't make it across any of the screens I've seen today, that there was an Israeli 9-11 earlier today, almost. Was that today? I think it was yesterday. But yeah, it's a global story. I guess there was an international flight coming into Israel and the co-pilot, I think he was in Omani,

had been with the airline for eight months and they're saying that Iran is involved. Like Trump has said Iran is involved and I think Israel is leaning that way too. But this pilot, his co-pilot, attacked the pilot with an axe mid-flight and they get into a fight in the cockpit and the pilot is able to bloody,

he's all bloodied up, and he's able to get to the door and unlock it and get to the passengers, and he's like, help, fucking terrorist tried to kill me. And it's a flight to Israel. And 9-11 is in everybody's minds, I'm sure. So all the dudes are like, fuck that.

And they run in there and just beat the shit out of this guy with the axe, who at this point is trying to nosedive the plane and hack up the controls. Was it just one guy? One guy. Yeah, the copilot. Yeah, it's the co-pilot.

pilot. You know, like, if he had been able to take, knock the guy, the pilot out and finish killing him there, like he could have, they can't get in. Those doors locked. Yeah. They can't get it. So he could have just flown that plane right into any building in Israel he wanted to where it was headed. But they went in there, kicked the shit out of the guy. The videos are pretty gruesome. They blur a lot, but there's blood everywhere. Like the, the pilot who was able to make it and get the door open and alert everyone that he needed help, he's um he was all covered in blood like this guy had hacked him up a little bit so he landed the plane i guess there was another pilot on board i think they it was interesting they like one of the guys

who beat up the terrorist is like former idf and then like the one of the guys who apparently there was a veterinarian's assistant who was able to stop the bleeding from the pilot like it was all these people who were like kind of capable of doing these things and then there was a guy who was like kind of a pilot. I think maybe he landed the plane. But they've already, I think they sent the pilot. I thought Israel would keep this guy in house. But I think they have sent him somewhere. Let's see.

Pilots suspected of fly Dubai attack transferred to the UAE. Suspected. As a suspecting. We don't want to run the man's good name into the ground here like he tried to do that aircraft. Yeah, I think they definitely know who it is. It'd be funny if he was like, thanks for getting the bleeding under control, but do you do that atal gland thing? Stinks in here.

I'm a vet. I'm not used to this. I expressed the terrorists' anal glands. Either that way, really spooked him. It cured him of his jihadi ways. Turns out his glands were just huge back there. How long was this guy a pilot? Like, was this an extremely narly-line?

Oh, eight months with that airline. Not an extremely long con. Eight months. But he was probably a pilot. Was he a pilot somewhere else before that? I don't know that. I just know that eight months of like being with the Air Dubai airline that was the subject of this whole thing. But good on them.

They literally did what we're always talking about here, you know, with a potential 9-11 type airplane takeover. And they did the thing. They didn't freak out. They didn't panic. They like beat the shit out of the guy. took the plane back and landed it. Now they're all heroes back in Israel. Fucking BB's like grabbing their cheeks and like fucking smooching them and stuff.

You know they're all getting an olive orchards for this. Like it's a big day. Don't you know that like I bet those guys get some special consideration? We don't take care of our heroes here, not the way we should. We let social media like maybe they'll take care of it. Maybe they'll be a Kickstarter or something. I bet over there. I bet Beebee takes care of this guy.

I bet he steals an olive orchard that's like 2,000 years old from some Palestinians and just hands it right over to this guy. I mean, I wouldn't doubt it. The finest of the ancient olive orchards. Yeah. I saw him burning a bunch of Palestinian olive olive trees the other day.

They didn't even want to keep the trees. No, they just burn them up. Rude. Yeah, yeah. Probably big misunderstanding. They probably set the fires themselves. Right, right. False flag.

Yeah, just a false flag. to get his olive insurance money. Like, I haven't done, I haven't looked online. I guarantee. I guarantee. I bet hard money. There are people saying that this Air Dubai thing is a false flag. This is an,

that it's an Israeli false flag. I promise you that'll be the narrative. I bet there's some people saying it. It come out reliably that Netanyahu knew about October 7th and let it happen. I have heard that. Reliably is the, is the, is the key word there. I have heard bumblings about. Okay.

rumblings about that before. Who knows? Yeah. Yeah, right. I mean, I've heard that about regular 9-11. I heard that about Pearl Harbor as well. But I don't know. Yeah, I've heard of Pearl Harbor.

I think Pearl Harbor was more known than, like, I think that's long enough ago that, like, actual evidence has come out about that, right? Like, that they kind of were, like, they were a little negligent. It's murky. Because they took all the good shit away and let them bomb our bad shit. And then we were like, oh, oh, no, not our worst boats. Darn it to heck. Not our worst boats and our dumbest soldiers.

They leave the worst people there that day. Somebody's grandpa, you just. I get to take that hat back from PKK. Oh, yeah. When you were in Hawaii, did you happen to go there to the harbor of Pearl? No. No, that was on a different island, I believe. Really? Yeah.

Dang, that would have been, I think that's the thing I want to see most there. I'd like to see some of those spots where they film a lost. Scuba diving tour like? Yeah, that's, yes. Submarian tour. I would like something like that, but I would like to go to where. This is a really bad taste. The dead body's still in there.

Too soon. I thought you guys were all going to moan at my like bad joke and you're like, yeah, yeah, you know, or something. tour. What's wrong with a stub tour? Is that bad? They didn't use subs against this. But the idea would be you go underneath and look at the dead bodies in the sunken battleships. They should have a like a clear tube that goes down and let you like walk through it so you can like look through and observe the boat from down there. I don't see bodies. They could jokingly name all the skeletons.

Oh, well, I think the skeletons are hoping they named them. They probably have fucking that's that's down the depth. I don't know. something's something's eating like bodies aren't just chilling that they are like a hundred years so but so there aren't little crabs and things that you can't get in there

I think the meat was gone it's uh it's oh yeah oh yeah there's the skeletons down there but um the boats down there uh capsized and full of oil and there's lots of chambers of it that have never been opened up they were cutting guys out for days after the disaster

after the attack who because the boats had rolled over and they were inside them and they were these they could hear knocking. For days they were down there cutting people out with torches and stuff. That's not funny. This is supposed to be funny, Kyle. It's a comedy podcast, Kyle.

This is supposed to be a fun little walkdown memory lane. You know, one of America's in our storied history of laughs and gas. You're the one that said they were our dumbest soldiers. I said what if we did that. That was funny. That was funny. Can you imagine?

If the president was like, we know the Jabs are going to come do this. Send our dumbest guys in our worst boats and get everybody else the hell out of there. Get Admiral Pyle on the line. I've got a mission for you, Pile. Yeah, I think we might have known that had an inkling that something was going on, but it was for the greater good, you know? Yeah.

Seems like this is probably, I mean, when this happened yesterday? Yeah. There's no way we know everything yet. Oh, I bet that guy's going to be super forthcoming. by this. I'm really surprised that they turned the bad guy over to the UAE. It's like Ramsey Bolton capturing a stowaway in his castle

being like, oh, dang, send him to the riverlands. They'll get the information out of him. And you're like, what? What are you talking about? Don't you cut people's dicks off? Yeah, I was about to say, how does that guy still have his penis? You feed people to dogs. Dude, he's scared, shitless. Did you see a perk up when you said Riverlands?

He loves it there. An axe is like got to be one of the hardest weapons to smuggle. I think it was part of the... I assumed it was part of the plane. It's on the wall in there. Oh. I picture it next to the fire extinguisher or something. I made that up.

And as the co-pilot, he can bring... He can bring stuff in there, I would imagine. Like, I don't think they go through the same sort of security measures as the rest of us when you're a pilot. Dude, if you get the jump on someone with an axe in a, like, completely sealed... old cockpit and like he slips you and then you get beat up by coach. Like you're a horrendous terrorist. He failed so badly. Terrible terrorist.

That's the moment of like do or die right there. That one moment where you've got the element of surprise and acts and he's looking the wrong way. You just got to hit him clean, right? You just got to knock him the fuck out. And I can't imagine what happened. Hopefully we get the details because that's the miraculous part, the fact that. that this guy was not knocked unconscious or defeat.

I saw a lot of blood, but I guess I don't know whose blood it was. That's the axe victim or if it was the terrorist. If this was after the fact, I didn't know. Yeah, so that's the ax victim because he's like laying out there, they're treating him and stuff and he's, they blur it up, they blur it too much. Like I'm not an adult. Like, show me what happened. Was it a big plane?

Yeah. Even the aisles are so narrow. I just have this thought that there's some dude. like 14th in line hoping he gets a chance to hit him too. Like the scene from airplane, you know, with the hysterical woman.

That's how it played out. That probably was how it went. People just lining up to beat this guy up. But do you think he, the terrorist, like, do you think he tried to say like a quip or something before swinging the axe?

Like, do you think he was trying to be clever about it? Put down you, I've been smoking, Ahmed. Then he just, Turned around, got a little dodge. Yeah.

That got winged in the arm instead of the neck. Maybe he saw him in like a mirror. Maybe he gave away the element of surprise with his cries of Allah Akbar or something like that. Oh, you think he broke out with a. Yeah. Swing. God, you can't telegraph your punches like that, dude. You didn't know.

He's his first time. You could do a little one. You could do a, you get one of those in. He won't notice that. Oh, yeah. That's a subtle one. Yeah. Yeah. That's the problem with crashing planes into buildings.

She just can't practice. I got a video from the plane, everybody freaking out, but you don't see anything. It's like, I don't just blame the cameraman situations. I wonder what he wanted to do with that. Although whenever they finally do, like get him, like this black guy comes out, he's like, yes, yes, we got him. And everybody's like, fuck you. It's a, it's a, I'm so happy for those people that, that,

because that could have been so bad. That would have been horrible. Yeah. So, but, thank God. We had a bunch of Marky Marks on there, getting, taking care of business.

They are what Marky Mark says he is. Yeah. Marky Mark could have taken this guy for sure. The guy who can't win an axe fight. Here's a video. When the other guy doesn't have an axe. That's on YouTube. There's no way.

It's too wild. It's a little. It's a little. And I'm watching when no audio, just buffering through it. You know, you see some wild imagery here. This crazy-eyed guy with the blood. Looks like this guy got cracked in the head too. Yeah.

That guy's not bloody enough to be the pilot, but clearly some other people took some dings. Yeah. They said he was, like I said, he said he was hacking up the controls and aeronautics or something when they like got in there and got on him. He was trying to nosedive the plane and make it unrecoverable. Do they make it to their destination? Yeah. They didn't stop at some other airport instead.

I think they landed in Israel. That's good. Yeah. That hate to have a layover just because it is. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no good layover spots. And then that airspace. Where are we going?

Maybe we like to keep going to go ahead of Spain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be a quick hit stop in Iraq. It was a terrorist in the, in the, in the, front. So we're going to Iraq?

Yeah, you're right. Actually, we're going to head to Spain. We've got plenty of fuel. You know, this is the Middle East. A lot of not great countries, you know, we're going to land where we're going to land. You see there's a new Middle East,

like almost NATO type thing. I think it's Saudi Arabia, Turkey. And do you know the third? Do you guys know about this? Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, I think. Yeah. Those three, they're noteworthy countries, by the way.

And I think a couple of them got security deals from America that, you know, we'd protect them if anything happened. And Trump's word isn't worth very much. They're seeing this. And now they have a deal with each other. And it's like a new NATO sort of Middle East alliance. And it's not what America wants. Saudi Arabia is not Turkey and Pakistan. Yeah, I had it right, the Muslim NATO.

With army. Right? What's that? They have a good purchased army. They don't have an experienced army. So they're one of the bigger buyers of American, like, weapons. But the YouTubers I watch and could there be a more reliable source than YouTube? Is that while they have great weaponry, like America, they don't have great expertise, and they don't expect them to use it as well.

I always say the fact that we constantly are at war is, a boon for us. Like, I don't know what happens when the rubber meets the road and, like, China has to go to war because they've never been in a war, not since Korea, you know? There are no army veterans in China. There are no commanders with the community experience outside of a textbook. Yeah, but they still give out lots of metals. They keep their confidence high. That's Korea.

That's North Korea. I bet China does it do. I bet those metals have so much lead in them, too. I would hate to have to wear fucking 15 bushels of lead on my chest. Well, they can't have good metals in it. not they're not high-ranking medals. They haven't been in a war. That's like perfect they're wearing like attendance medals like that should be made of lead or tin or something right. Little sheriff stars used to getting which country are we talking about right now

China or North Korea with all the medals. If those North Korea medals were lead I'd fall forward that's a lot of metals. That is yeah yeah yeah yes and they've definitely never been if they were gold I'd retire that's a lot of metals they've been they've been they've been capturing those North Koreans in Ukraine and sending them to South Korea. Really? That's actually less of punishment than being sent back to North Korea, isn't it? Yeah. Well, kind of because, like, they said that, like,

the North Koreans don't want their people to ever know what's going on in South Korea. That it's one of those things that's like when they, when North Koreans finally see what the truth of South Korea is and the world at large, it seems like overwhelmingly they kind of are like, whoa, I've been lied to. Fuck. Like you don't see too many free North Koreans on YouTube being like, North Korea is number one. The great leader does not poop. Instead, they're on there being like, American barbecue. Amazing. Like that's what North Koreans do when they get out of North Korea. They make YouTube channels and eat American barbecue and tell you how wonderful it is. And then they, do you watch those videos of North Koreans reacting?

I believe you've sent me a couple of them. I've seen the barbecue. You don't feel good as an American, watching North Korean react to like our shit for like 30 minutes. And the power of America is unstoppable. Like this guy's just melting down. Like it's like showing a fucking, some more than an aircraft carrier.

They'd be like, they're like, so what's the closest thing you ever had to this Texas style beef rib back in North Korea? He'd be like, oh, every Easter. We eat a boiled dog for celebration. And it reminds me of this. And it's like, that's horrible.

Like, it's really way worse than South Korea. I'd rather. And also like the North Koreans, all the videos I've seen with them, teeny, tiny little guys. They are not getting their calorie requirements when they're like, I don't know. It's the protein. It's the protein. I was reading about how small the Romans were and how afraid they were of the Germanic tribes when they were moving up through that realm.

The average Roman legionary was like 5-5. And the women were like 5 flat or 5-1. Because the diet of a Roman, even a rich Roman, had very little protein in it. It was mostly like, you know, porridge and breads and wine and shit like olive oil, like stuff like that. There wasn't a lot of beef and pork.

Meanwhile, those Germanic tribes, they domesticated animals and they ate beef and pork and goats and lamb and all that stuff. and they were big boys closer to six feet tall. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It just goes to show. And they still lost for a very long time. Yeah.

I guess they weren't very organized compared to the Romans. I haven't seen Gladiator in a long time, but the opening scene of Gladiator gives you a view into a whole different movie that I also would have loved to have seen, which was Maximus's like battles. His campaigns. Yes, his campaigns, because it begins. and he's out there looking at that battlefield

and you've got the full legionary you've got the guys throwing the ballistas or whatever and you've got slingers and the wild men are in the woods screaming and charging through and there's catapults throwing flaming like projectiles that's an awesome scene. I could have watched a whole movie where it was like well that's just one tribe

this land is full of wild folk fuck yeah. I like that the sinister looking guy with I always remember thinking of him as like the very angular face man that's like talking to the whatever the actor's name russell crow where he's like a people should know when they're conquered like just all like mad about it and i always like i remember that scene ending too quick

and i'm like you know we don't have to like skip to the gladiator part we can like tool around in germany and see what these like savages dressed like the the stone crows and game of thrones with the horns on their head which that that would have been scary even if you were the well-trained army like professional army with all the tech like you go into someone else's forest and it's a bunch of lunatics that are eight inches taller than you like they've been

eating nothing but like fatty fish meat for generations a whole legion one time like that they were walking through some Germanic forest four men wide on this long march and they were just harried from the forest constantly until they were all dead and I guess like those legions had those golden

standards. It's literally a big golden eagle on the end of a stick. And the Germans got it. And it was a big deal. It's like, you know, back home it'd be like if you're like, it'd be like if they came and they stole the Heisman from your team. And now like the Iraqis have the Heisman.

And they're pissing at it. Yeah. And you're like, we have to go into Iraq for the Heisman trophy. This would be like if Tim Tebow stole that dog from UGA and went home with it. And, and And then, like, you, he was, like, went on Twitch and, like, hanged it.

Like, that would be the equivalent. Now, Tim Debo would never do this. I think you'd be too. So Michael Bicked, Uggah, I'm going to let you know right now. He'd be hanging in the middle of the streets of Athens, Georgia, all right? We would lynch him. It would be, you wouldn't be able to look at it. We'd tar and feather that fuck.

It's a lot of talk. Wasn't Tim Tebow kind of your daddy? Yeah. And have you seen him on ESPN? Daddy. This guy has done this. 10,000 yards, Woody. 10,000 yards in three years.

He came back to the Wuppus again. Send whoever you want. Don't send anyone you want back. Ogo has a new daddy. That would be like feed, he'd feed Ugo to a gator. It's Uga. Uga.

Oga. I didn't even say that to me mean. Ugga is a girl's name. Might be a girl dog, I bet they switch back and forth. Keep it fresh. they don't it's an unbroken lineage of dogs and it's a big deal to own like one of his offspring I had a friend who had like uhga's son and I was like they number them these dogs don't these dogs expire every three and a half years we keep that guy in a refrigerated doghouse I'm not

even kidding and uh like on the sideline and he comes out panting every time and you're like I thought this was the new one yeah yeah that is that's the healthy one fuck these things don't know never look healthy we've got to get a guy in a suit this dog is sick like Texas has that big fucking longhorn have you seen that i have seen it i don't know what its name is but it's got a name of course they bring a giant fucking like longhorn steer out and like he charges across the fucking field i'll be honest every time i see that i'm impressed like that i think it's kind of cool too nobody else has

that i haven't seen it if they do like it's if the buffalo bills showed up with a bison charging through the stadium, that would blow me away too. Is that the bold video? I want to say the UNC has a RAM, which doesn't compare to a steer, but they do have a, you know, basically a sheep running around, I think. Yeah. I've seen Eagles at the Falcons game, but I think that's an America thing. Yeah, it's not, well, obviously, it's not even the right bird.

Yeah. Yeah, they should be in Philly. Yeah, they should be. That is true. That really is frustrating because I know the Philly has, they have that tradition of releasing Falcons during Eagles. You're thinking of decels. Have you seen that video, Kyle, of Uggah, like getting messed with by the Texas Longhorn Bull?

It might be. Oh, no. It's pretty funny. Yeah. I think this is. They kick the bull out. The bull's being shitty. and like messing with Oga

and they were like, he's got to go. He's got to go. That book can't behave himself. It's such an absurd clip. I would think it was AI except I remember seeing this like a decade ago. It's hilarious. Where that like barely breathing

completely out of it dog has to get yanked back because a giant He tried to kill Uga. It did. And can I just say Ugga was spry? He got the fuck out of there, all right?

Just like I believe Ugga was picked up by a person, almost drug away. Unger was spry. I'm watching him get pulled in the air by his collar. That dog did not move. That dog almost died. Dude, if that had happened, I think we'd have killed that cow. Like, no joke.

One way or another, like, if he had killed Uga, I bet you somebody poisons that cow somehow. Yeah, yeah, something would happen. It's not a cow. Cows are female. Which school poisoned like Alabama's tree or something? I think it's Auburn in Alabama. Auburn, Alabama, okay. I don't remember which direction it was,

whether Auburn had a really old tree or Bama had a really old tree, but one of them poisoned the tree. And he was like calling into a radio show to like brag about it. And even though it was like, he was like, hey, I destroyed their tree. Fuck them. And the guys on the radio. Did Bama lose the tree?

That's how I remember it. An Alabama football fan named Harvey Updike Jr. Poisoned the historic live oak trees at Tumor's Corner on the Auburn University campus in late 2010. He poured a heavy amount of powerful tree-killing herbicide called Spike 80DF into the soil around the two landmark 80-year-old oak trees. He called into a sports radio program, the Paul Feinbaum Show, using a fake name and bragged about poisoning as a revenge for an old college football rivalry event. He claimed he acted out of anger after Auburn fans celebrated a win by putting toilet paper on the trees. The legal penalty. Updike pled guilty to a felony charge of criminal damage in 2013, three years later.

He served six months in jail, received five years probation, and was ordered to pay $800,000 in restitution. He was also banned from the Auburn campus. They tried to save the trees, but the poison was too strong. They had to be cut down. 800 grand. I assume he just never paid. He died in 2020 at the age of 71. When he was poisoned by an Auburn family.

When he was poisoned by a herbicide called Spike 80DF. It was in his coffee. Damn. That really isn't a commensurate response to like someone T-Ping. And so you're like, I'm going to go destroy two like legacy. see trees. It's like, what an asshole. Complete douchebag. I get it, but I wouldn't do it. Like, I get wanting to hurt them like they hurt you. Speaking to that,

no skin off my back, but the Braves are playing the Phillies tonight. Game three. They lost game two. Tonight's the one game one, though. It's, it's one, it's, this is game three of the while, you know, of a three game series. And the winner moves on. And if the Braves lose that, will be 20, 2020, 23, the Phillies knocked them out. 2004, the Phillies knocked them out. And now 2026, the Phillies knocked them out. Have the games been home, home, home?

And the home winners won the first two. Does that sound right? I believe the first two games were in Atlanta. Oh. The, the, they did win the NL East, which makes sense that they would. Right. That's why in my head, I had them getting the first one and the final one, like, because they deserve home field.

advantage. Yeah, I'm not sure. I watched those condensed versions, like a 20-minute version of both games. But I thought that they were in Atlanta. I just watched John Boy. So they're in Atlanta now. Tonight they are. It's possible all three games are in Atlanta,

which would be fair since they won the fucking division. You're right. All three games were in Atlanta. Well, that's... okay it seems like a lot to me like in most sports home field advantage usually means you get one more home game

not all of them but is this the real playoffs or is this like yes the wild card real playoffs okay a three game series is this new wild card series yeah so so Philly

is out they need this to get into the playoffs technically you know like they're the wild card team the Braves beat them by like five games, something like that. So this is, they're at a disadvantage. I feel like it's fair.

They lost by five games. They don't deserve to play at home. And you shouldn't subject those fine Atlanta Braves to a Philadelphia audience either. They don't deserve that. They won their five games. Well, that seems baseball. I feel like you're just being biased. I'm saying Atlanta deserves two out of three games at home.

That would be like every other sport ever. You know, Taylor knows. But to get every game at home, it seems like a lot. But I guess they're just saving on travel and such. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why they were day games, too. The first two were day games. The night's game is either at 7 p.m.,

which maybe it's already started or 8 p.m. I guess it's seven. Starts in 45 minutes. So you'll have a good read on who's going to win probably before we're even done here. I don't want to look. I don't want to look. I'm waiting for John Boy to tell me how it went. He grabs all the dumbest shit.

Look at this. He threw the ball with no. thumb and it went off to the side. Like this is the breakdown I'm looking for. Don't know the score. Don't know anything. This is going to be good postseason baseball. Not only you have all that pitch

clock stuff they're doing now and the challenges and stuff, but there's some good teams this year. The Yankees are really good. The Red Sox are really good. Milwaukee is really good. And they've got that pitcher that's just lights out throwing 105 fucking miles per hour. Literally second fastest starter

of all time. Philly. they're on a win streak right now. One game, yes. And then the Dodgers, the Dodgers who have like a modern Bay Ruth playing for them. Do you know how big that Shoahatani guy is? Like six, five? He doesn't look big when he stands alone.

But every time he's near anyone, he's way bigger than they are. He's 6'4 to 10 according to this, but I thought he was bigger than that. Dude's just, he's literally a modern Babe Ruth. But he's so nice. I think he's a gentleman, and that's my favorite part about all that. He absolutely is. Like every time, I'm sure you've watched a bunch of clips of him from John Boy and seen like, yes.

How magnanimous he is. How like how kind and cordial and understanding and never rude or nasty or overly. Like, like, he's plenty competitive. He's a winner. Like, he's a lights out pitcher. He's an incredible hitter. He's good at every aspect of the game possible. He's a, he's a renaissance man of baseball.

But he's a great guy. Oftentimes when a pitcher hits a batter, even if it's by accident, the pitcher kind of says, yeah, that's what you get. This guy apologizes immediately. Now, he's not the only pitcher to have ever apologize. That happens. But he just doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. He just plays a game. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I like when guys have mean bones in their body, especially pitchers. Like, I like a pitcher who is intimidated. Randy Johnson, killed that bird. Randy Johnson is the most intimidating picture ever. Not Nolan Ryan? Some people say it's him. Sure, but I think that if you looked at both men on that mound and like Randy Johnson's like 6-4, 6-5, he's ugly as sin.

You know, he grimaces at you. It's not like he's making a nasty face. And everybody saw him kill that bird. Yeah, yeah. And you can just like, it made a bird explode. What would it do if it hit you in the nose? Same thing. Yeah.

Might kill you. It explode into a puff of feathers. Randy Johnson was 610. Ooh, that's a good pitcher's body. I forgot he was that big. I knew he was tall, but that seems like extra. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

That would be one of the tallest baseball guys ever. So when he strides, he's tall enough that he's a few inches closer on his release point than a six foot two pitcher, you can imagine. Like his reach is literally making the release. point just a little bit closer to the play and it matters in this sport like like every little microsecond matters uh he was light he was very intimidating i think he's the most intimidating pitcher ever i'm scared of him still well six look once you said six 10 i think you know that argument's pretty well sealed yeah i don't think there's any other like i mean he looks like he

should be like running the show at a trailer park somewhere like with with that hair and his facial, facial, just bone structure. It's a cool guy. I've seen his interviews. He's, he's, he's funny. He rips on the other players, like, like, like little jokes here and there. He's like, I mean, he was never much of an athlete. Just look at him, but, you know, the guy could pitch, I guess. And so he's talking about one of the greatest pictures of all time. This is the most handsome photo I've ever seen. Yeah, I was going to say that is a flattering pick. I, it's not my mind's eye, what he looks like. No, this is the best he ever looked his entire life right here.

He's even like peering off into the distance and like, he's wearing his suit. Yeah, he's normally ugly as sin. Yeah, there you go. There we go. That's what he looks like. Yeah. That's a little closer.

Hair is kind of majestic, though. You know what? That hair would fit on a hockey player, which is high price. Oh, that's the other thing. He became an NFL photographer when after he retired, like a legit one. Wow. Just ruining the. people's seats because he's 67

feet tall with all this machinery standing in front of you. I know, teasing. You think being that tall, you know, gives him any advantage as a photographer. Is he getting some shots that a six-foot-two guy can't get? Probably.

And he could just walk and kind of how much is that down the field? For a still camera like that? I'm going to guess it's like 60 grand. I can see if I can see what it is. I had 50 in my head. I was thinking 50, yeah. I

but I mean that's the dude that's the dude that you would place in the playoffs this is the guy right here just terrifying terrified how long has he been

an NFL photographer that's pretty awesome does he still do it or was it just a little phase I know it's what he phased into after after baseball though I've seen him talk about it before

but it's been a minute I was watching a vice documentary today about Don Fry Don Fry John Frye Taylor is from the No Holds Bar Days of the UFC. He won the UFC 8.

He's the mustache man that you may have seen fight that giant blonde Japanese fellow. That was pride. Yeah. He won UFC 8 and 9, and I think he lost 10 to Mark Coleman. And then he went to Japan to do pro wrestling. Their pro wrestling is a little different than ours. There are some real fights in their pro wrestling,

but there's also predetermined like stuntman jumping off the high ropes type shit and then he eventually went into pride. And I believe he was Pride champion. I'd be wrong about that though. I'm not so sure about that.

His story was interesting. He was molested two different times as a young child. Like once when he was like five and another time when he was eight and he's like, the boy that came out of that room was a different boy.

He just wanted to hurt. and destroy and I channeled that into a life of athleticism and victories and failures and I became Don Frye. He's got this big fucking Stogey. I liked his bit was that he was American. So he had the Stogie, his little underpants he wore out there, red, white, and blue. He talks about that. Did he wear shorts? So, so when, looks like he did. So right after 9-11, so right after 9-11, he's fighting the blonde guy, I think. I think it was supposed to be Mark Coleman, but Mark Coleman gets hurt.

He can't fight. Don Frye has been training for months for this fight. Because he, Coleman's the only guy that ever beat him. He hates Coleman. And Coleman's the smashing machine. He's literally a, that's Mark Kerrish.

Of human being. What's that? Mark Kerrb is the smashing machine. It's okay. You're right. Yeah, yeah. He's enormous. And so like,

but he gets the blonde guy instead. He's like, I wanted to represent America. You know, the fucking terrorists that hit us. And I want to go out there. be an American represent so I came out with the flag

and the shorts and they show him and dude he's so intense I've he's he's got one of the most intense like looks about him when he walks out and when he faces off again between another fighter and they show him facing off and it's his coach Severin is like you know we'd never heard of this Japanese

guy before and I figured the guy's a pro wrestler we'll get him out of there round one we'll just destroy this guy but then he walked out and he was a fucking giant He's like 6-8 or something He's a colossal And then they show the face off And Mark Coleman looks like a fucking pit bull

He's so lean and mean And jacked up on testosterone with that mustache And he is staring through this I'm sorry Don Frye He's staring through him And they asked him They're like what did you see when you looked into his eyes I was like, I saw fear

I saw fear And he's like Do you think he saw any fear in your eyes? what do you think he saw he saw rage he's like i was so mad that it was him i didn't want him but i had him and then they show the fight began and they get in that corner and just start pounding each other in the face just bump that was the first m m anything that i was ever exposed to was at my roommate's house he was like come here let me show you some shit and he pulled up don fry's fight on the interweb and we watched that and I was blown away. I was like this is real. This is in

WWE because it looks like WW at first because they're like wamping each other like no defense. That is not a no one taught on that technique. It happened in hockey too. Taylor was it Ty Domi and somebody else where they just like grabbed the jersey and kept punching each other until someone stopped. Yes. Yeah. Tide Domi and some other much bigger guy. But Ty Domey is always wanting to fight regardless of the fact he was tiny. Like he was almost 510, but that's tiny for a fighter. He knew he was 510. Yeah.

Yeah, Don Frye did the same sort of thing where he was like, I'll just punch this guy on the face until he quits, and I'm not going to notice he's doing the same to me. And it was pretty bad. If you watch that at the end of that fight, Mark Cohen's face looks pretty good. Like Don Frye. God damn it.

Yes, Don Frye. I hope I'm helping and not ruining. No, no, I appreciate it. No, I don't know why I keep saying it. It's because I watched. both documentaries like back to back, but Don Fry's face looks pretty good. The Japanese guys, eyes are, you know, they're already squinty because he's Japanese, but they're like completely swollen shut.

Like, he beat the fuck out of that guy. It's a great fight. Taylor, I don't think he knows Asian eyes are just like that. I think so. They'll correct them. They're kind of swollen shut from the start. I'd rather see two guys fight like that as a much, much, much more amateur MMA viewer than you guys. then I think Scott's brought it up

where he's like there's almost been too much min-maxing in some way in professional fighting where you know something he's brought up to me if it was on the show or not but he was like when you there was a while where you would see guys in the ring like throw themselves on their back and just kind of like be like a like just on their back with their legs up trying to like coax them into fighting

and he was like you know this is kind of gay because like at the end of the day we are it's a sport but we're also fighting. Like if it's not something that would be useful if someone accosted you in public, then it's just really not real fighting. Like we're doing a game now, which is fine,

but this isn't accurate to like fight. Do that against someone with a weapon on the street. Like you've just put yourself in a tremendously dangerous situation for no reason. Like it's more fun to watch people brawl than try and, you know, do that crab walk thing where they just like pivot their hips

towards you with your feet up. Was you talking about MMA for that or Brazilian jiu-jitsu? I think he was talking about MMA, but that's definitely a jujitsu thing. There was a couple guys. They call it a butt scoot sometimes where they'll have like one arm up and they'll use two feet in a hand to sort of butt scoot. And I don't like it for that same reason. There's only one guy that would do that and he's gone now. I remember like he would literally.

Oh, you're talking about MMA. Yeah. Yeah. Forget his name. It was a not scary looking. Ryan Hall, did he do it? Was it him? I think it was Ryan.

I just remember him like, butt. scooting around and like his opponent being like come on what the fuck and the crowd's booing and Rogan's over there just I you know it's just a it's a different way of fighting and it's like yeah because your guy's so one dimensional he has to sit on his ass right now

now I for one am not looking for like a real life simulator or trying to UFC one the premise was we're going to determine what the greatest martial art is it wasn't necessarily about mixing the martial arts as much as it was about having a karate guy fight a box

and mixing it that way. Now it's become, you better know, you better be a boxing, wrestling judokin if you want to win at this game. But back then it was like, yeah, we're going to have the judokin fight the fucking sumo guy. And whoever wins, and by the way, it was also a tournament where you had to win three fights

to be champion of the night. It was a whole different sport. That sounds better. That's like, that's like Dragon Ball. You're kind of. The only problem is, like, you get a tough round, tough matchup in the first round and then that means you lose the second and even though you might be the best guy in there you just got you know roughed up in the first one because he was you had a good

opponent and yeah UFC eight don fry faces in the first round that gigantic 400 pound um not a sumo guy Bob sad he was like he was Puerto rican or something like that now um he knocked him out in eight seconds it was the record for 20 years so you can imagine round the he gets to his second fight he didn't do he didn't have a first fight he literally jogged across hit the guy with one cross and the guy was unconscious like that was it's what I would have done if I fought

on Frank I could go in seven seconds I don't mean deflect who is the eventual record breaker was it Kimbo Slice getting knocked out no no that wasn't that wasn't that wasn't a UFC oh I thought that was a big UFC thing

nah he was on CBS I think I forget what the league was called. I just remember a pink-haired guy like was the most surprised person in the room after he knocked him out in Petruzzi or something. Yeah. They even had rules that he wasn't was it.

They had rules that he wasn't allowed to grapple because Kimbo Slice was a very good grappler and they're like, you know, you can win but don't grapple. That's not, we won't let you win that way. You'll be gone. He was like, you know, they told me not to wrestle that guy. So I knocked me the fuck out.

Yeah. It was like, wait, they told you not the rest of the rest of? Not only did he not keep their secret, but he beat their boy. Yeah. Yeah. Kimbo die. Heart. I think he had steroid heart.

That's my theory. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys check out. But it wasn't like some acute or was not an OD. It was cardiac issue. But like with UFC, I'm not looking for that anymore. I'm not looking for like what the most effective technique.

would be in the street in a real world to the death battle because there's so many rules. There's so many rules. Initially it was no biting, no eye gouging. Even that you could say, well, what if this guy happened to be the best eye gouger in the world? He just blind you immediately. Isn't that the best technique? If you could blind the guy

immediately, like you wouldn't, that's the way to go. Yeah, he wouldn't be button-coon. So you got to have some fucking rules in this thing so that people don't get blinded and their ears bit off. Like, like, there's been, what if some guy just nod on you like, like that felon fights shit? Like, nobody wants to see that.

You need rules. Fitchhooking is really effective. Like, you get body control when you start fishhooking. Yeah. People would do anything to stop the fish hook from happening. That's gross. A normal strength human being putting a fish hook on another human being would be gruesome. These guys are so powerful.

They're stronger than they look. Physical fitness. And they're on drugs. They're killers. you know like i'm taking any i'm taking any finger that goes in my mouth i'm taking it like that in this scenario he like has your you know he's rear mount or something yeah yeah and it's hard to deal with i think it was um um i can't remember which two fighters were somebody was somebody was putting somebody was putting somebody was putting their fingers in the other guy's

mouth and he was biting him i can't remember who it was chandler it was chandler and somebody else when they were fighting he was like you put your fingers in my mouth it's like no i didn't He's like, then why are they all bit up then? I got me there. No. There was a C-fighter. He got D-Qed for biting. He bit the guy's bicep.

And he immediately called to the ref. And he's like, he's biting me. He's biting me. And the ref looked at his bicep. And he was very obviously biting him. There was like one of the better bites you've ever seen. It was like a, like he went to the dentist to put. his teeth of the clay.

He just de-kewed him on the spot. Yeah, it's horseshit. Did he have the mouth card? Like, he must have speeded it out or something. Like, I don't know. I remember that, but I remember they're being teeth marks, but I don't know about how the,

oh, it was Dustin Porrier bit Michael Chandler's fingers during their lightweight fight. That's right. That's what it was. They're trying to make oblique kicks illegal. Those are, Taylor, those are sort of kicks to your opponent's knees while you're standing to sort of hyper extend it backwards. It's one of John Jones' like techniques. He's crippled a few people.

Oh, what a nasty bite. Yeah. I didn't exaggerate. That was one of the better bite marks that I've ever seen. That's like, it looks like someone like almost like he's got like a kissy tattoo. For those who are audio only, this guy. anyone but I don't know it wasn't me it's it's if they don't have your impression it's taken out um that's so nasty not a very big bite people guys little bird mouths are so

fucking dirty too oh yeah especially like some fighters mouth well i mean i would imagine you know are you calling fighters dirty i wouldn't say that i'd rather bit bit by a wild dog than a homeless Well, of course. Yeah, I'd rather get bit by a dog than a homeless person too. Homeless people, you don't know what's going on in that mouth. You might, you, a dog isn't going to give you hepatitis. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Or gonorrhea or whatever. Homeless guy.

Yeah, a homeless guy might give you hepatitis. And now you're, you're going to die because some lunatic bit you. You ever been bitten by an animal? Dogs, but never like severely. I got bitten the face by a dog when I was a kid. and they cut the dog's head off and tested its brain to see if it had rabies.

I remember my mom told me that spitefully that night, she's like, and they're going to cut his head off. And they're going to make him pay for what he did to you. Thanks, mama. What were you doing to the dog? I wasn't, nothing bad.

Like, no, I remember I was sitting next to a log and, like, me and the dog were explore me and the dog were exploring the log. This sounds like a spelling assignment for an eight year old. Me and the dog were exploring the log. It was in the fog. And I don't know, he just, for whatever reason, he just sort of looked up at me. Like, it just went, and like, hit me in the face.

It was a Rottweiler. It was a neighbor's dog. That sucks. It wasn't too bad. That's, I mean, but that's one of the few breeds where it can get really bad if it spazes. Like a Rottweiler? I always have good things about Rottweilers. I don't think of them as bad dogs.

or violent dogs. I know that they're like strong, like big strong dogs. Yeah, I think of them is capable but not overly inclined

to do bad or be violent. Those are Roman legionary dogs, you know? That's what the Romans would guard their camps with. Is that what you say about German Shepherds

and Doberman Pinscher's too capable but not necessarily inherently bad? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think, you know,

that they've been bred for like working assignments and stuff like that and guardian stuff. livestock guardian type dogs things like that are just a different breed than something that's been bred to fight other dogs in a fucking cage you know i saw something on reddit it was like a would you rather and it was like would you rather take a million dollars and have every pit bull on earth die or like something else and i'm like i know what my boys are going to say they're like a million dollars and dead pit bulls oh no what's the downside

Yeah, like what conceivably could be the other option? That's like, is it like a billion dollars, but they double the amount of pit bulls? Is that? Oh, I think the other option was like to let the pit bulls live and not get a million dollars. Like, you know, would you accept this money in exchange for killing all the pit bulls? And I was like, these guys are going to say yes so much. What are terrible hypothetical? Like, who is that playing to?

If I were king of the world, I would sterilize every pit bull and I would make the breeding of them a felony. And we wouldn't have any pit bulls in 30 years. They'd be all gone. And that would be it. You do the same thing you do when like some country changes their like measurement system to metric or so. I remember there was this thing about, I think it was the Chinese were modernizing, the great modernization. And they made it illegal to make rulers that were segmented in the old way of measurement. and the punishment was like death. But you had all these tailors and these like craftsmen and mercantile guys who like

they're like 60 years old. They can't learn the metric system. They got their old rulers for like doing their stuff. They're lopping heads off over that shit. And now they use the metric system, I bet. That's what we're supposed. I have no idea what they were there. What was their old system?

I have no idea. Probably similar to like one of those one of those Middle Eastern cubits type things that's based on like hands and the length of a forearm and stuff like that. It looked really close. The one I saw was Japan and I don't know what it was called, but it was so close to a foot, it might as well have been a foot. It was probably within a quarter inch.

Yeah, it could have been Japan that I'm thinking of. In any case, they all got to go. I would wave my magic on and get rid of all the pit bulls. I just think we're better off without them. Like I know that there are wonderful pit bull dogs. It's just like you can't. He's too dangerous. He's too dangerous.

You know. And we'd also subsidize good dogs, like golden retrievers. I don't want to kill them all. Like, let the ones out there live. I don't want to. He just wants to sterilize him. Yep. And then for some reason, it takes 30 years for them to go away.

Well, there's going to be holdouts. There's going to be holdouts. And you've also created a black market. So there's going to be people who are like, I'll show you. I'm going to breed so many pit bulls. And now the value of pit bulls skyrockets. Because all these hip hop types, you know, they'll pay 10, thousand dollars for the good pit bull that's how they are what's the punishment going to be are they

going to go chinese on them and lop their heads off for like the rulers you know what we do you know what i do when i catch somebody breeding pit bulls you toss them in the pit bull pit i toss them in the pit bull pit feed them to the hounds i like that okay ramsie perfect punishment i come out and i'm like i told you these things are dangerous watch push the dude in there rip him apart that's it i think what if they don't rip them apart what if they prove his point and they're just like super friendly lovey dogs. Well, then we don't upload that video, Woody. No, see, it's a never-ending money ball for team anti-pit bull because you push that guy in

there. He gets all eaten up by his 20 pit bulls. Now you have a perfectly good reason to kill those 20 pit bulls. I'm sorry. You just ate a guy. You know, it took four days and we had to lock you all in there together and not feed you or whatever, but you ate the guy. So off with all of your heads.

Yeah. to get rid of the pit bulls. Big problem. I'll take the free million and we'll get rid of all the pit bulls. I will also take the free million. Yeah. And for every to make sure that dog people stay happy, which most dog people are going to be happy the pit bulls are going because most people don't have pit bulls and they don't like them. But for every pit bull that we put to death, we birth a new golden retriever or like lab or border collie, one of the good dogs that people like. Keep the dog population. Kyle, did you hear Dana White wants to get rid of the oblique kick? Yeah, I said that.

And what do you think? Oh, it slipped past me. What do you think of that? I get minutes ago. I think that our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with about 365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout

and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling,

visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866-5-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. I think a lot of things about that. For one, I don't think they call the fouls that they have right now, and that I wish they would address that. You have a lot of things of illegal techniques and movements in the game right now,

and you're not enforcing them properly right now. So before you go finding new rules to new things, new things to outlaw. Let's talk about how you enforce your rules. If you did that for me, if you started like, if you put in a system where we pause the fucking game, say, yep, that's an eye poke. One point. And by the way, Taylor, when you take a point away from the guy, in a three-round fight, that might just be the hit. Like, that's a whole round. You know, it's, it's two, it's best of three-round, in a three-round fight, taking a point. You got to win all three to win at that point. Yeah. Yeah. And then,

So I would want the rules to be enforced. Cage grabbing annoys me when it stops a takedown. If cage wrapping stops a takedown, they should lay his ass on the ground like they do in wrestling, put the other guy in a dominant position behind him, give him his back or something and say, go. Shouldn't have grab the fence, bitch.

Now he's got your back. Right. Even if it's worse than what might have happened, don't grab the fence then. It should be worse. Yeah, it literally should be worse. Like it's not good enough that you just end up, because then the cage grab is always the right.

move because maybe they miss it. If all they're going to do is put you in where you would have already been if you had you not grabbed the cage, then it's never, the game theory would suggest always grab the cage because sometimes he misses it and you just stay up. It needs to be worse than had you not grab the cage. He gets your back every single time in an awkward position, whatever, and we'll out in the middle, get away from the cage. You're not going to scoot up that fucking thing. We're out in the middle of the cage, get me your back, you're fucked. Same thing with eye pokes. That's a point. Kick him in the balls and it looks accidental. one more of those, I'd say.

I think I poke's the first one, because it's like keep your hands closed, but some of those kicks, when you're hitting a moving target, you can hit them in the cup. I think you get one warning on those, and the second one is always a point. But yeah,

if you did all that, so on point that, like it rarely took more than 15 seconds. You know, that people shouldn't get rest, is what I'm trying to say, not significant rest. It's five minutes to recover from groin kicks

and eye pokes. Right. But I guess like if you fake your groin hit or something, like I want to figure that out so fast that it didn't work out to any advantage. I both get their rest. But I do see your point. It's not like to make another guy jog, but but I certainly agree with you. Yeah. Just bring in a little stairmaster for one of the guys. Like I got, bring it a completely different fighter to start roughing him up a little over there too. If you did all that though, and I felt like you were enforcing rules properly, then yeah, I think the oblique kick should not be part of the game because it cripples people. And like, I want my fighters to have longevity. I like the idea of these guys being able to fight into their late 30s if they really want to.

John Jones crippled a few people with those leg kicks. And it didn't change the outcome of the fight. Like they fought through it They fought through the torn knee Hard to say right Well Santos Well there's two Santos fought through it and that other

The white guy Smith I forget his first name Gustafson or the The one that's got the hair blind That kind of comes down to a point here That actually beat Reyes Reyes beating That is that might be

Who am I thinking of He was a white guy who like I think he had an opportunity to like Take a foul and win And turn it down he also beat a wrestler who did a home invasion against him. Do you know who I'm thinking of? I'm spacing.

But in any case, I don't like the oblique kicks just because they cripple people in that way. Amixed arm bars crippled people. Kneebar's crippled people. People tacked. Shots to the head break people. The submissions I'm fine with, no one was ever going. The reason I don't like the oblique kick is it's not really, I don't see it finishing a fight here and there. Like here and now.

I just see it crippling him in the future. I think he's going to fight through it in this fight. Whereas like with an arm bar, it's like you should have tapped, first of all. But even if they do rip your shoulder out, that's the end of the fight. You know, it was how he won. That is true. Like when Rhonda Rousey broke a couple arms. And I think she had a series of fights in a row where she broke arms, but I'm not positive of that.

I didn't know that. It broke elbows. And it did end the fight, like you said. Whereas these oblique kicks, usually they're, they limp around and try. try their best. You said they didn't win that way. And I'm like, I don't know. Like, maybe if they weren't limping around, they could have won. But I'm just, I have a hard time drawing the line in any particular spot. Joe Lozahn wanted soccer kicks in the UFC. He thought that would interesting. Because I see soccer. I think things that make fights. Yeah, but that's it. Would you rather

have one brutal strike to the face or 30 or 40 or 50 as the race? As the race. I think they're rounds go on. They just, another boxer just died. If I'm kind, I want him to dive in and put on a rear naked choke. That's the nicest way to end a fight that I know of. Well,

certainly. But instead, they're going to soccer kick the guy. Like, no one's ever died from a soccer kick that I know of. A boxer died last week, just in the seventh round, you know?

Like, you get hit. But I remember Max Holloway, I think has the record for like significant strikes in a fight. May I'm maybe that's Ortega or somebody. 450, I think, is the number. He punched that guy significantly 450 fucking times in the face in one fight. That's the kind of shit that kills people.

I'm okay with soccer kicks because that's the end of the fight right here and now. I would almost rather get soccer kicked in the first round than get a Max Holloway-style record-setting, 500 significant strikes over five rounds. You mentioned the Ortega fight? The most badass part of that fight, and you know what I'm saying. chat he's he's he's just hitting this guy up right everything he wants to do is working and then in the middle of the fight he gives his opponent boxing lessons on like where to hold his hands for defense he grabs his opponent's gloves he grabs his opponent's gloves and lifts them in front of

his face he's like cover your fucking face he's like and then he goes back to himself and like like puts his own hands where they're supposed to fucking go and he's like now you come no up here and for some reason, Ortega's like letting him. He would think he'd be hand fighting and like, it's fuck off me. Fuck you. But it's almost like he's so beat up that he's happy for a rest fight. And he's okay taking a quick boxing lesson.

And I remember after that fight. He's like, I'm the best fucking boxer in the UFC. Like in his first fight. During, he said that. He yells at DC during the, I'm the best in the UFC. He might have been,

I think it might have been the Calvin Cutter fight. I'm not positive, but I think it was. And, And yeah, it was COVID time. So there wasn't a really loud audience or anything for him to yell louder then. And he just, you could very clearly hear him. And he's like not looking.

He's like, I'm the best fighter in the UFC. And he's beating this guy up without looking. I think so little of Ortega. I don't know how he's still in the game. Like, he's just so trash. Dude, his run to the title was amazing. I don't know if you know it very well. but fight after fight after fight he like loses he's losing he looks terrible and then almost like

Anderson Silva chale son in like at the last second he throws up a triangle or some sort of sub and gets w and then he does it again and again and he got on like a four fight winning streak something like that you had to give him the title because he beat everyone you put in front of him barely and it was one of the least convincing title runs ever but it was a legit title run. It wasn't like they handed it to some guy without wins. Like they do, um, who's the Miami Jesus dude. Mazzved. That's what I'm looking for it. Yeah. Like that guy did not deserve his rematches or title shots. Um, I've been watching the Ultimate Fighter reality show. It's pretty good when you don't have all the commercials. Like I've tried to watch it when it was like on,

when he's broadcasting, you know, when a new episode came out. It's insufferable. They cram so many ads and so many integrations and it's it's insufferable you watch three minutes of content then eight minutes of commercial and then three minutes of content eight minutes a commercial but on paramount you can just you know watch the episode and there's no there's no there's no fat on that bone it's just the show that's pretty good i've watched like three or four seasons like i fast forward through the nonsense i don't care for it do they still get drunk and hang on the house and stuff that's sort of gone it's a poorly produced reality show it's a little embarrassing they need a showrunner because they don't do a good job of like the white the trashy parts of a reality show because i need they should

take these guys to the strip club can you imagine if you if like one night you just took your boys to the strip club and you had eight heavy weights and eight feather weights just chilling at the strip club and you know they're going to get into a fight and you've got that's part of the show like dana comes in the next day mad heard you guys had a little bout last night uh guess you weren't worried about today's fight huh did you win at least yeah yeah All right, that's what I want to hear. Those girls didn't say to the chance. Keep her hands up, boss.

Are there enough guys on that show who want to, like, go and get raucous and party? Because it's not like the real world or something like that. Like, I would imagine a lot of these dudes see this as a golden ticket. And so they're like, do you want to go get crazy? They're like, no, I need to like eat my chicken and broccoli because this is my career hope. So there's about 16 people. every season. And sometimes sometimes they'll all be

heavy weights. Sometimes they'll split it down the middle and you've got like two different weight classes. Sometimes it's women and men. They mix and match to try to keep things interesting. But like the main thing that they need to do, and if I'm making the show, I do. Of course I want contenders. I want like regional champions from Canada

and Brazil and stuff. I want all those guys. But I also want some guys who are just going to be fun. I need like two or three like wild cards. And I'm going to make sure they don't have to fight for the first, like six or seven episodes. For the first half of the season? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want them talking

shit being, I want them in the background being like, you wait, you wait, do you fight me? I want, I want slurs, I want racism, I want sexism, I want bigotry, I want alcohol use, I want people sneaking out of the house and beating up civilians. I want a dirty fighter reality show.

But they don't do that. It's fucking lame. I do like the fights, but for the most part, it's so lame. it's so cheap. They're like, we're going to have a big dinner tonight. And it's like, they don't even go to a restaurant. They're just at the dinner table there and like just cooking their own. They don't take them out, not even like fucking chilies.

They're like sequestered. It's really bad. Are you too much of a purist for the game, the sport of mixed martial arts that you would be against something like trying to infuse other reality shows that have been successful into it? Like there is a like they all have five Madagascar hissing cockroaches in a bowl in front of them. And the person that the person that consumes them first like gets to wear a hockey helmet in the next fight. Like some sort of bonus. This is genius take notes, Dana. Yeah.

I don't know what would be helpful. Because I was going to say like black snuckles, but that's not. Plaster wrappings. Plaster wrappings. Maybe some sort of. weird, extremely loose clothing so you're like a honey badger that can't get a purchase.

That's legal. You can wear loose clothing. I wouldn't do that, but you touched on one of the show's biggest flaws, and that's that it doesn't matter who wins the fights. Like there's a red team and a blue team, but when red team wins, nothing bad happens to the blue team. Nothing really changes. Well, you're kind of out of contention, but you stay in the house.

They had a, the most recent season I watched, there was a Pakistani woman, She's like, I am the first woman from Pakistan to represent Pakistan. And I'm like, you look kind of fat. They're like showing her back in Pakistan. She's on the floor eating some like goat meat and rice with her hands. And I'm like, that's not a fighter's diet. And then like she gets in there and the other girl's like, I noticed that Motunga over there is kind of fat.

I'm going to kick her right in that fat belly of hers. And they fight and I swear to God. She kicks her in that fat. belly of hers and the girl collapses immediately. Oh, I am the first woman from Pakistan to be kicked in the belly on TV. She had a, and then that girl. She's Indian in this scenario. She ended to fight with a belly kick.

And then like the girl's like, oh, like crumpling. And she hits her with another belly kick. And that's it. They're like, it's over. She can't take three. And then she doesn't get kicked out. Like that's the most basic of basic reality. It's worth.

And make her stay there and hold pads and shit for the other girls the rest of the like, And so you just see her fat, ugly ass in the background, like getting, like holding a big moytie pad. Like, it makes no sense. Sounds like the showrunner needs to have his head examined because the kind of, the only thing every reality show does correctly is kicking people off when they lose or voting them out. They used to do that.

They used to kick them off. The kicking out isn't necessary. It's the punishments and the rewards. Like Gordon Ramsey shows do this thing where you have red team, blue team. With the red team wins, they get to go to when a month. amazing reward. It's usually culinary. It's like we're going to like the nicest restaurant in the world and you're getting a private dinner cooked for you by Bobby Flee. Bobby Flee is going to cook you guys dinner tonight. Oh, and we're riding a helicopter there. By the way, other team,

you're doing the dishes. You're washing all of these dishes. It better be perfect because they're going to watch you and order you around while you wash them. Like that's what a reality show should be about. One team washes the dishes. The other's getting dinner from Bobby Flee. Do that in MMA. Have them get to go and like hang out with Connor McGregor one night if they win and if they lose they got to like wash the mats or at the gym or stuff they're in their scrubbing mats like that

and then you cut you can juxtapose you can have a camera crew with the guys like man this is fucking bullshit Mikey why don't you sweep the leg and then you go back to the guys hanging out with Connor McGregor he's like yeah lads and they're just like pouring liquor in their mouths and stuff they're of the best time ever this does sound cool that would be

that's better instead they're like it doesn't matter who wins or loses other than the fact that you're kind of out of contention in the show. Sometimes the red team wins so handily. Sometimes the red team will win all their fights. And so the last quarter of the show was just red team fighting each other because they ran out of people to beat up.

It's a terribly ran show. I didn't even know it was still going. I didn't know that it was popular or not. Something like that. Is it like Survivor though, where Survivor hasn't been out for 60 years, but they're like on season 60. So they're doing them just constantly pumping. No, they've done, I think they've done one or two a year for like 20 years.

So that's how UFC was saved. UFC was out of money, the Pretita brothers, who funded it out of their pocket. They had told Dana, like, you got like 10 million more. 10 million more, and then we're fucking out. That's it. And they made the Ultimate Fighter reality show in the first season was incredible. And when they, and the two guys that got down to the end, they had them, they fought on TV for free. I think on Spike, and it did bonkers numbers.

And it was a crazy good fight. I think it was a five-round fight. People were calling each other. You've got to turn on Spike TV and see this. It was such a- It was novel at the time. It saved the UFC. Like that, the ultimate fighter reality show saved the UFC as a war.

Couldn't save Spike TV. I don't know. I don't know what happened to Spike TV. That was the shit back in the day. I loved it. It was the right age too. I was like, I don't know. Teenager, 16 to 17.

Didn't it? That and comedy. Central. I would be watching like, do you remember cranky anchors? I do. Yeah, the, the prank call show. I used to prank phone call people for hours. Like, I couldn't get into crank yankers. I always, even listening to it in like middle school or watching it in middle school, I was like, this is fake. Like, this is all fake. That none of these are real calls. Me and my dad were fans of this guy named Roy D. Mercer. That's the character name. And it's these guys named Brent and something in rent from Tulsa, Oklahoma.

They have a morning show, and they do his character name, Roy D. Mercer. And Roy D. Mercer would basically, you'd have them call your guy. You'd set your, like, uncle up or something, and they would call him with this ridiculous tale about how they've been wronged by him. My wife, she's driving past your business, and one of them trucks pulled out in front of her, and she had her parent, little Mikey Sanders. He was in the passenger seat, and that wouldn't you know it? She had to slam on the brakes, and that cage went.

went to flying and now little Mikey Sanders can't talk right he's got a stutter and we're gonna need some money out of y'all get this bird some speech therapy and then he just goes and he goes quiet and the guy's like what and i'll tell you might just have to whip a man's ass over this and like it progresses to that and like some people like are scared they're immediately like mr mercer i don't know uh but some people are like, Roy D. Mercer, just how big a boy are you? And they'd say, I'm about as big and mean as you can imagine. Come on down, motherfucker. Like, 70s people are like, down to go. It's great. And so me and my dad would listen to that while we worked or while we were driving the hunt. And that inspired me to make a

lot of phone calls. I would, I would copy his bits. I was not creative at all of a 12 year old. So I literally copy his bit and do the voice. One of them, I would, I called the pharmacy. And I told them that they sold me the wrong thermometer and it had broken off in Raymond's ass. They sold me, they sold me an oral thermometer as a rectal thermometer and it broke off up in there and we can't get it out. And of course they get really worried. The whole thing, Dunblum, it was like his butthole reached out and pulled it from me. So clean up there. Now, not only is he in terrible pain, we don't know if he's got a fever or not. did you see the frank call where like the Australian guy had a job interview and he quick called him and said like I use your name as a reference I wasn't sure it was a real number and like do you know this one I haven't seen so then trying to get the the DJs call a random guy and say I just use your name as a reference at a job interview and then the DJs call a random guy and say I just use your name as a reference at a job interview and then the DJs

call the random guy, but this time posing as the interviewer saying, hey, we really like this guy. How long have you known him? Is he good with money? Is he reliable? And he just, he kills it the whole way. And then they like trap him in some stuff.

And but he's like, he's a good bloke. And he really kills it. And it's fun to see. Do you think it was fake? I, when things like that, I choose to believe they're real because I want to live in that,

that reality. And, and, So I don't like tracking that stuff down. I don't want to expose that if that's not real because it was heartwarming. Because that guy is so quick to help him out. He's the best. How long have I known him?

20 years, I guess. Do you ever help you out? Oh, so many times he's helped me out. It's just like making that about a whole cloth, this wonderful, all these wonderful stories about this stranger. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, I just couldn't get past the prank calls being,

probably not real. Like I think there's only like two or three states in the whole country where you can just, where you can record someone. Oh. Or a prank call like a two party consent state, something like that. Otherwise you have to like tell them up front like you're being recorded. Would would imply you need to get their permission. Right. Yeah. A one party consent state I think is there's only a couple of those like maybe like New York and then some other one. Maybe California. I don't know. Well I think in the case of like Roy D. Mercer, even if it's not a not the case there. These people are all happy at the end. They're like, your brother set you up. He had us call you and pull your leg. And they're always like, oh, you got me.

They're never like anger. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. As long as the prank isn't something where you're like, it's the ones that always seemed fake to me were the old radio bits where like something life ruining comes out from a person where like she talks about a lady talks about like a crime she committed. It's most places are one party consent.

I looked it up. it was real. That guy, yeah, he's the best bloke in the world. He became known across Australia as that. And yeah, it was real and he was actually that good on his feet. Australian strike me as

just, that's my favorite culture. Jovial. Like if I had to, if you, if you had to live somewhere and all you cared about was the vibe and like how easy it is to get along with the people there, it's Australia hands down. It's Australia hands down.

Yeah, I do like the Australians vibe. Maybe that's pretty good. I love the Japanese culture. I think Canada's wonderful. I think there's tons of places in Europe that you could have a great time in. Irish people seem fun. Scottish people seem fun. Something about the Australian seems blue collar that I appreciate. They're never too snooty about themselves. it seems like

like they're like the anti-French you know what I mean? Like the French are snooty and they don't like like some some guy just the homeless in France seems snooty and like the wealthy in Australia seemed like down to earth blocs like that's just my vibe.

Isn't this crazy Taylor? He's like if I had to move maybe the land of the felon. Yeah. They seem like my kind of people. I'm just saying. You were one horse thief uncle from being born there. I love their accent.

I love the culture. I find their slang to be charming. Like, they've got all sorts of silly words for things. They've got interesting food there because of their locality to Asia. They call it soccer. You wouldn't have to switch to calling it football. I would just get into Australian football. That seems like a pretty cool sport on a.

its own right. Yeah, they do that and rugby. So they've got basically two kinds of football. Yeah. You know what? I'd instantly start hating on the all-black team, right? They're rivals, right, New Zealand, maybe. Yeah.

And I think the hookah, hawkaw, whatever it is, is stupid. I would out, yeah, Bulls and the Haka. Those are the two things I would eliminate as king. It was, it. A hawk is so fucking gay. It is so gay. Yeah. You know, like, am I supposed to be intimidated by?

this like I'm your equal in this sport I remember I watched the fucking New Zealand basketball team do the hawker for five minutes while like Kobe Bryant is just bored as fuck like you think I'm scared of the haka like I'm not

I'm Kobe Bryant I'm fucking mama mentality and then the American just whooped them in basketball yeah I mean that's the traditional dance of the New Zealand Maori prior to losing yet another battle yeah like

I think they fought amongst themselves I think they mostly did but like I saw like a timeline of it once where it was like showing maybe this was even at a real museum where it like showed the pictures of weapons like through the ages and there was like a sword tooth sword

for the Maoris and I'm like they put this in the wrong section this should be a hundred yards back in like the ancient times and it was like Mayori's sword from 1890 oh no like it's between guns like it's like the little

it's like these guys you know I mean obviously not not a Darth of resources on by the 1890s we had real guns yes I've seen

when did the last samurai happen when was that documentary filled the end of it when he cranks the gun that's a true story it is yeah yeah

definitely top Cruz that's one of he has a ton of great movies that fall through the cracks. He made so many great movies that you forget some of them. Last samurai is amazing. When he stares down that samurai and the samurai flicks the sword to his neck and he just stares at him like Kobe when the guy flicked the ball at his face and doesn't flinch. And the guy even like cuts him a little and Tom Cruise doesn't flinch.

I like, I like moments like that. And then the whole like first half of the movie, it's Tom Cruise learning the sword fight. And he's just getting the shit beaten out of him. They just club him for weeks seemingly and laugh at the white guy. Like children are beating him in sword fights. Old men, like everybody with a sword beats the shit out of him for weeks while he learns to do it. They're breaking his fingers and stuff.

He's always paid up. He's only five, four, go easy on him. That's true. Well, everybody, that's why he stayed Japanese. He's like, everybody's five, seven. Nice.

This is sweet. I get to wear these, like, wooden shoes with the little things on the bottom side, makes you a little taller. I like those wooden shoes. I watched a documentary on Netflix. It starts off. This is a real thing.

His fiancee left him because his penis was too small. So he goes on this journey to try to like look into penis enlargement surgery. He's meeting with urologists to see if his penis is actually small. It was. And one of his. He had to go to the doctor for that. Yeah. Apparently if you stretch it.

Bad news. It's a pretty. It's a pretty good indication of like how long it'll be hard. And that's what she did. Yeah, that's not great. He was like bottom 10 percentile. And his solution was to go to South Korea where everyone's penis was that small. And he fit in just fine.

That's hilarious. The idea of like going to the doctor for like something that evident. It would be like going into the doctor and being like give it to me straight. He's like, I mean, you're fat. What do you want me to say? Like, you have steak scales at home. Isn't that evident? I feel like it's hard to know what real penis sizes are.

You can't just go to Pornhub to learn what average is. And you can't go to a locker room because they're soft mostly. I mean, not Taylor's childhood, but they're mostly soft. Like, how do you find out like what a normal average? Everyone knows. Everyone knows what I have. We all know. We all know where it is.

5.82 inches or something like that. You're right. Maybe he just went to the doctor for the show. I think he went for the show. And if he really wanted to go for the show, I'd have sent him to a prostitute. That makes infinitely more sense. Some doctor who's going to stretch a soft

dick out, get the fuck out of here. Send me to a prostitute who's going to milk that motherfucker for all its worth and be like, yeah, it's so tiny. By the time it's over, he'll realize that prostitution was the answer to this thing the whole time. I mean, this guy, this guy hated his dick so much. He learned Korean. Think about that.

That's a hard language to pick up. Learn a whole new alphabet when you're fucking 48. Modern solutions for modern problems. I dig it. I tip my hat to that guy because that's what I would do if I was short. I never thought of it for like small dick syndrome. But like if I were short, if I were legit like 5.3, 5, 4. but still like everything you know if you're I'd have to go to an Asian culture you know like somewhere

where everybody else is about that height you could just get that bone breaking surgery now I know I've talked about that before but you could weird and it's incredibly painful and and it's expensive and I like Asian girls anyway you got short arms then you could look you just would perennially look like someone who perpetually look like like the two kids in a trench coat meme yeah like you wouldn't look like a real adult. Your arms would like finish before your waist. Weird as hell. But I mean, it's that or be five foot three.

Or just move to Thailand. Or you, that's like as an adult having to move to a whole different country and culture and learn a new language. Do you know what they're not going to have the restaurants I'm familiar with? You can imagine what the dating life would be like for like an otherwise handsome and well-to-do. five foot four dude. Like, you know how frustrating it would be to like work hard,

have a good education, be like well-dressed, handsome, have a house in a car and you still can't get anything going just because you're five foot four and like that's the dating market. That's so unfair. That is unfair. That sucks. Girls have it better because all they need to do is not be fat. That's a totally

controllable problem. You know what? Not even that. Because there's plenty of guys who are like literally into fat. Like you can find guys. guys who are just totally about like fat fat, not even thick, not like BBW, but just by that standard, couldn't you

say there's plenty of women who don't care about height? No, because we're men, you know what men are like? I'm listening. You can find a man who is into you unless you're a fucking burn victim. If you're a 5'4 man in America, I just think you would struggle mightily, like in the Atlanta dating market.

I really do. Like, I mean, being 5'4 is a guy, as a really hard, tough hand. I've talked to girls about this many times. Like, they won't fuck with a dude that's that short. The challenge is, like, I'm sitting here being contrarian in my mind. And my version of contrarian is, well, okay, if he's 5'4, but he's rich and he's handsome, and he's athletic, and he's this, and he's that, then he can still do it.

And I believe that that's true. But my gosh, you know, he has to fire on all cylinders except height to have a chance. And he's never going to compete with the other guy who is all those things but four inches taller. He probably can't even compete with the guy who's none of those things, but six inches taller. As far as like a hookup, like you're never going to be able to get like a steady hookup thing going if you're that if you're that guy. You know, you're not going to have like two girls a week or something like that. Yeah. Oh, but you could find someone for you.

What you have to do, like if you're a five foot four guy, you have to do, like if you're a five foot four guy, you don't. have an obligation to find the tallest woman you can. Dig your children out of that, out of that hole. You know, you may be five, four, but you find a big tall lady, you know, get her, get her into you. And now your kids are going to be taller. And then you, you pass that down to their kids. They find yourself a nice tall gal. Before you know it, you're, you're hanging out with your grandkids and you're like, I did it. I did it. And next year, you know, if I've grafted out and in a hundred years, my future descendants will be hundreds of feet tall.

At this rate will be giants. Assuming linear progression. Someone did that the other day. I don't know if you heard, but they discovered a new species of cat. And then like two weeks later, they discovered another new species of cat. And they were like, at this rate, assuming linear progression, we'll be discovering 438 new species of cats this year. It's going to be wonderful, Mark.

but they found two new like jungle cats they're like very small and spotted they look like many they looked like if you took a house cat and made it a leopard yeah really like you picture that that's kind of like a regular cat yeah but they're like clearly like jungle cat things they like they don't look like someone found it and thought it was a cat like just a kitten and then like quickly realized that this we don't know what this is and they turned it over to a vet or a biologist or something and they were like this is an unknown species of cat that you have discovered i mean neat i guess do you ever want a cat never yeah if they didn't smell i would absolutely have a cat like i dig the um some of them are really pretty like i don't want like a standard

cat like i keep seeing this cat on my feed that's got this big crazy face um it's like fluffy and white and it's got like a big nose. It looks silly. It looks like a Jew cat or something. And I like that cat. It looks like Falcour from Neverending Story. I think it'd be neat to have an outdoor cat, but I don't actually want it. I know that if I put cat food outside, I'd have so many coyotes and wolves and other problems.

You know, I don't know, raccoons. But the idea... No, that, not that one. Show the one I linked. That's my cat. of a cat that mostly took care of itself sounds cool. What is this? That's Falcour.

The cat looks like it looks like it's doing that thing. It's too symmetrical. It looks like it's like sitting like with half of its face behind a mirror and the other half in front of them. Have you ever seen people do that? Yeah. Yeah, that's what it looks like. It's that little quaffed hair.

That's the, you know, the cat looks like fucking Ron Perlman. What an ugly cat. I think that's a handsome cat. I would dig that cat a lot. I like that cat a lot. I also like the weird breeds of cats that are exotic. I don't know what you call them. Amazon cats or something like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maine Coons are really cool. Those are standard domesticated cats, but it's this different enormous breed called a Maine Coon. My girlfriend's talked about getting one of those a bunch of times. But I don't want a litter box in my house. I don't know what the best. slitter boxes are like, but I have had girlfriends who had friends who had cats.

And every time I'd go over there, as soon as you walk in the door, oh, cat piss. Like the whole place stinks of cat piss. And I don't want my house to smell a cat piss. Yeah, you'd have to get one of the automated ones. My friend had one of those, and he had two cats and his house never smelled like cats. But it was like it took up a lot of space and it was clearly like hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Like it was nice. It was heavy. Like it cleaned itself and like he like

opened the back of it and like remove a pre-packed enclosed bag like just with all the nonsense already out of it. If I thought that would be the case and I would literally would never smell it, I would get a cat. But you got enough animals for now. You do. I want more. I always want more.

I think if if I buy a place with this lady I'm with, I think we both want like a few acres so that we can have ourselves a mini farm with like some goats and shit. Like we both like like animals. So no HOA. No, no. He clearly wants a baby, right? He's like, listen, I'm really against starting a family. But I'm super into my girlfriend.

She's perfect. I think we're going to buy a house and stay together forever. And, you know, I'm never having kids, of course. Maybe 19 animals, a small farm, little homestead. This is you becoming a dead. You don't know it, but we can all see it. This is me beginning my meat market phase. You're not going to get any goat this winter, pal, with that attitude, all right?

All right? Taylor's going to be. I better shape up. I know. All right? Taylor's going to be getting a pork leg every winter. Hell, yeah. We're all looking at your arc, Kyle, and we can see what you don't.

I'm salt and pork legs over here, all right? Yeah, I'm just, you know, getting a mortgage with my lady friend and, you know, and we're not thirsting for kids. No, no, no. We just have 19 dogs for some reason. We are incapable of having kids over here. We have made that permanent. That's not happening. On your side? Is that where that is? No, but I'm willing. Like, like, she lost the coin flip. She lost the coin. She had to get a much more invasive surgery. And she didn't ever figure out. I tricked her. Trick coin. You know. It's never going to be me. Look, medical science doesn't enter into my coin flips, okay? Like, it's somebody's got to get fixed here. And it was, you know, I lost, I won the coin flip. I don't know. This is, you know, this is, you know,

bitch. This is, get better at coin flipping, eh. I didn't even stop at the tubul ligation. I made her get a whole hysterectomy. As you do. Really fucked her hormones up. It's terrible.

Well, now she's on TRT. Horty is fun. It's why. I didn't have a lot. Well, she's got osteoporosis about 30 years early, but the worst thing is she got really into Greco-Roman wrestling. I can't even, I can't fuck with her anymore. I mean, this is-

me the other day, and my head went off the countertop. I woke up, it was night. This is the same thing Dick Masterson was saying until his surprise baby, and he's, I think he's five years older than you. I don't want to wrestle your jimmies, but if something like that happened, we would neutralize the problem. through God anything is possible yeah no kids for me

I mean that like what if she said what if she was like no you do we talked about it but I think I do want the kid now I would leave her you kick her out I would leave that day I would leave that day and my stuff

would be gone the next day who what if she said I'm pregnant I'm no longer pro choice right now you're on the hook for child support like it or not okay still leaving i'll pay child support i guess like i'm not a deadbeat but uh i'm i'm not doing that we're an agreement here we don't agree this you're literally saying what if she lied to you this

whole time and tricked you what would you do then well i would act in kind i would fucking lawyer i hear what you coming from that wasn't what i was going for though i was in that case it was a legit change of heart yeah it's for sure like like we both do not like children like when she caught me watching a tic-tock the other day or short and it was like dogs and babies playing together she's like fuck you looking at it's cute it's like no it's fucking not

fuck them babies see you said you don't like children and I'm like well no one likes children like all the time we just like the good eyes that's the good part and you decide whether that the highs are worth the lows I don't want the highs or the lows

I just so value my ability to do whatever I want, you know, and not have like someone to look after and worry about and like that kind of responsibility. It's not like I don't want any responsibility, but that one is so big and so all-encompassing and life-changing. And I would take it seriously. You're either, you either are a, I would, I would never be a bad dad. I'm either no dad or great dad. I would have to, it's one or the other. And I don't want to have to flee. Right. No one can have. kids and still like never leave the house and always eat your food.

Yeah. Can you imagine like once. Like once your ex like brings over what is like now like a five year old girl. She already calls you Kyle. Oh you like you forget her name sometimes. You're like what's new Buster? How's going champ? How's school going?

Yeah. what are you learning? Anyway, where's the time go? You got to get out of here. See you next. See you, Christmas.

Christmas already. And like you bring out like, like a wooden spoon wrapped in newspaper. You're like, here you go. No, no, I don't buy wrapping paper.

That's, you know, it's too commercial for me. Anyway, have fun with his egg beater. like you know if I had to do that like it's a spatula from the drawer

it's too much I don't want somebody counting on me that that much you re-gift her like a world's best dad mug that she got you fuck you got that for me shit my brother and I did that for ages

he would give me $20 for my birthday which is in February I would give, I would put the 20 in a drawer and then give it back to him in March for his birthday. We did that for most of my teens. That's perfect. Another thing taking care of. Until I had a driver's license, I didn't get my brother's presents and they didn't get me any presents. It wasn't until I was able to go places that I started buying.

There was no expectation of me getting them anything. Now we do, but it's like, it's just like just buy your own shit like sibling gifting is a little weird where it's like they know what I want or they know what they want just buy it you're an adult you have money like there's no way I'm going to pick out

a better Henley t-shirt that's actually stylish that you enjoy like and there's no way you're going to pick out the video game I actually want it just give me an Amazon gift card every single person should just give me Amazon gift cards my family doesn't do gifts at all I'll occasionally like to send my dad things from Amazon like I'll get him some shirts or some big socks or something

or a hat and he'll go ah do you send me a hat and it's like yeah my name's on the fucking box you don't know how Amazon works I appreciate the hell out of that he sent me some picture of him wearing his son hat but you know what I mean that's the closest we get to exchanging gifts around here Kyle's dad stories blow me away

this is a successful man who's navigated this world for 70 years but it's always always like, yeah, he can't turn on a TV. He doesn't know how pot works. He doesn't understand Amazon. It's because he was working, you know? Like, he just, he worked. And when he wasn't working, like, his hobbies are like guns and bows and he likes

painting cars. He just, he's got a collection of fucking cars now. He just sent me a picture yesterday of another car he's painted. He's, he's, uh, he's into that stuff. So when it comes to all that. Hulu. The only, oh yeah, like Hulu, he doesn't quite grasp what apps are, I think. You know, like, he doesn't, he, he doesn't quite get it.

And like, I don't know. When I'm there, I told you when I was like, have you started the Game of Thrones yet? And him and his girlfriend's there. His girlfriend's like 60. And she's like, we looked for it and looked for it. We couldn't find it. And it's like, it's right here under G, Game of Thrones. Hello, Finster.

I, sorry, I just got off work. I hurried back. What's work? It's long and hard. Nah, I've seen it. It's cute, but it... You motherfucker. Wait, what are you going to think?

It's specifically there. It's been a while since you've had, like, a woke liberal on, so I figured I would be the test subject. What is you... What he's right here. True. Classic liberal or something, what do they call him? More little, I guess that's who you call him, yeah. I'm not going to pretend.

Neo-liberal. I don't know. No. Well, other than work, what's new with you? Are those demon horns or cat ears? Oh, they're demons. I got my, I got surgery. I got surgery on my face.

Ah. Oh. I can tell. I've got like my nose changed. It was like um you know the oh okay you know the thing that makes like if you picture like a caveman skull or a caveman guy like yeah you know the big Kyle the brow at the brow ridge yeah yeah there's like there's a surgery where they cut open your fat oh god it how gruesome we have a friend that did this really yeah yeah there's a girl in the hangout um who had this surgery done it's crazy it's like um there's places that just do like everything. So you go in, you get like your jaw done, nose done. You can get, you can walk in, walk out a different person. I swear.

Damn. I had like the brow ridge taken away and then like my deviated septum fixed and also I made it a different shape because it looks. Nice. Did it hurt? Probably. You get your whole face peeled off and bone shaped? Like the, how was the recovery? Like how many weeks was it?

It was two or three months. I think like. Oh. At two months, I thought like, I'm fine. At a month long, you're just, you've got a hangover essentially. It's not much. It's just all the time. Did you stay off camera or show people your recovery?

Oh, no. I look like a, I look like a zombie. I looked like a zombie that I'd worked on. Like, it was just cruising everywhere, like red, red marks. It's terrible. So you just took a whole month off, basically, recover. Two, yeah. Two months.

It was at about the two month mark, you kind of think, like, like I'm fine and then you're looking back on it now like your face is super puffy I'd like this thing with the the tip of my nose where it just swelled a ton so I look like a I don't know like pelican or so peaking I think there's a name for it in surgery this is the nose surgeon looked at it at the end of it and just went like oh god oh surgeons surgeons shouldn't say stuff like that that's fuck no the place go ahead and put that again dude That surgery is not open anymore. The clinic closed.

I have no idea why. Well, freaky. You were a fly by night face driver? Yeah, I thought it seemed pretty legit. I would expect the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's coming. It was. It was. So, it was going to ask if it's not covered by UK healthcare?

No. No. Unless it's killing you. That is very funny that someone in the UK. It's so analogous. Kyle's going to get like his teeth done in Mexico and they're going to their Mexico. Like Spain. It's like, you know, the... Everywhere in Europe, it's just a little bit cheaper and sunnier.

Our friends are in California and her company paid for everything. Like, boobs and I think they're doing a whole bottom surgery. It's an HMO. They're doing a whole bottom surgery, like the face grinding thing and I think she got some, I think, didn't she get some stuff done to her like her whole face like some bucle fat removal and she got a bunch of stuff done. I'm not sure. Yeah, but she definitely had like a feminization done on her face. Yeah. And did she do top or bottom yet? I think not. Yeah. We keep we keep we keep begging her not to cut her tick off. We do this we do a group call every month by the way join the Patreon down below. You have $50

members you get to hang out and see this nonsense. But every every month she's like yeah. We're looking at, we're looking at, we're going to get that thing lopped off. And every, every dude in there's like, no. No, please don't cut off your dick. Please. They can't put it back. Do you ever think about bottom surgery, Finster? I think you, oh, I've thought about it.

I like it. I like him. He's very convenient. It's, I don't know. I don't want to go. It's like a year-long recovery, and I don't mind it that bad. I like being like, I like the bit of both, like the, yeah. Okay.

There's going to be a day. you wake up after doing that, even if it's just like once in a while where you're like, fuck. Like, I shouldn't have got my dick off? Do you think they ever walk to the bathroom and go to pee standing up and just piss all over themselves? Fuck, not again. It's four in the morning. I don't know.

I mean, you've had your dick your whole life. You get used to it. Suddenly having to sit down to pee, it suck. I think they elect, too, most of the time. I think it would actually, like, I think the first time they'd realize what a fuck up it was. is like the first time going to a sporting event and you can't just use a urinal in a disgusting bathroom and you're like, oh my God. Like I have to like hover over piss and shit now.

I had a solution for this. It would be good, but men's bathrooms are just so much worse. And I use primarily. Are they worse? Oh yeah. What the fuck? Yes. There's so much worse.

The girls in their hovering are gross as well. I don't know. They send better cleaners in or something. They're better every time. Okay. I know that your insurance or whatever didn't cover it. Is it like other plastic surgery where it's like tens of thousands of just insanely expensive? Yeah, I did like I did two things and it cost like 20 grand.

It's just expensive. That's not as bad as I thought actually. Because like you want new teeth that can be like 80 grand. Yeah. Yeah, crazy. You paint 80K for tooth? And it's like implants. It's like five brand the tooth.

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. In the U.S. it is. Or you can go to Mexico and it's literally like a third including travel. You get like a free vacation and it's a third to cost. Yeah.

And Mexico's got it down. Like maybe a couple decades ago, people would give me the side eye of like, oh, you're going to get Mexican dentistry. Oh, you're going to get Turkish hair implants. Now those are like the bros at it. Like those Turks, like they know how to replace hair. They like have whole suites and resorts where like I was reading that if you wanted to get hair restoration in Turkey, you could fly to Turkey, have a 10 day vacation, get your hair replaced, stay like another week and then go home and it's cheaper than just hair restoration in the U.S. Like you get a European vacation.

Well, and I'll leave that to the European. Is Turkey Europe? Maybe parts of it. Who's to say? It's kind of in a middle area. Stop gross on yourself over there. What's going on? This is slipping down. No, it's not. It's fine.

I swear to God. I hate that you spotted that. I was like, if I do a nip slip on PCA. Zach's quick with the blur hand. Don't even worry about it. You take that all. Hold on, let's do it. This is a short dress, Zach. Let's see how quick you are. He's like, why. We're not live. He'd take all night.

Zach will take his time getting those, getting those picks. And like what's funny sometimes is I remember I don't remember who the the guest was but he was the Australian guy who was talking about like he suspects a criminal organization set his house on fire. Oh yeah. Forgive me for not remembering his name. But during the episode he like said the name of the gang that he suspected and immediately he was like, can we put a timestamp there. Let's go ahead and take that bleep that name out. And Zach was like definitely. And then like I checked the comments on that week's episode. episode and everyone was laughing being like definitely removed this right there never never never never believe too just like and I read it and I was like oh man I really are this poor Australian bloke he's a cool guy hope the hook the gang killed him set him on fire again that's yeah they killed him but that's all exact though I don't blame myself it's other than a crazy amount of surgeries uh what else have you been up to just work and gaming and surgeries just two

surgeries and I've been wanting to get. Okay, can I get a, can I get your, uh, your opinion before I answer? Should I get a boob job? Yes or no? I think you need to wait for the hormones to, to, to maximize your gains. It's before you. Oh, I did this, I did this weird thing. I turn myself into a test tube. I like, I took in there. I'm taking estrogen, but then at the start, I took, uh, swimming, I don't know, a fullness of the drug name. It's like, um, it's a drug that stops, you know, like, um, guys in the gym, like gyno you can get. Mm-hmm. Clomid. Stereids and stuff.

Yeah. It's not steroids. It was something. I'll type it in the chat. The thing is, I do not trust this drug like at all. I don't want to advertise that it's okay. But it's like a, it was like it sort of blocked boob growth. So I fucked up something early on because I was like, oh, I'm scared of getting, I'm scared of getting boobs.

It's like cloned, something like that? I'll type it, I'll type it, I'll type it. Yeah. So you think that's still blocking your boob growth? Well, it takes away that like breast bud. So it's like you can't, like I can't get any. I've been on ester for like three years. This is, this is how I'm being.

And I've got most hits. You're very back. Yeah. Do you think you have bigger boobs if you had bigger, if you had more body fat? Uh, the amount of I did. Yeah, I think that applies to everyone. Right. I'm just saying like if, if move growth is the target, her diet is so restrictive.

Not at any cost though. You're talking about two steps back. one step forward. You got to get the implants. The only question now is how many C Cs? How many C C C. What would you say, Kyle? And you have to use your hands because I don't know the C C C.

I don't know what that means. Like the size of C C Cs. Is a thousand C C Cs? A lot? A lot? So you want just a globe. A couple of you don't want Finn to be able to like ever play tennis or pickleball, golf. No, no. All those options removed forever?

Just chained to a milking machine somewhere in full who cow gear. No, I say smaller. Like a reasonably sized apple. I'm completely unful. Thanks for qualifying the apple size. There's such a disparity in the world of apples. I'm glad to be this. A good, a good solid handful.

Yeah, a nice, Granny Smith. That's a pie apple. Yeah, again, but if you're not sold on it, Don't do it unless you're a jillion percent sure because I bet that it would be the same thing as like people who get to be three, 400 pounds overweight who then lose weight. The skin without surgery is never going back. You get a couple of giant melons and then you decide later like, this isn't my jam. I'm not a fan of this. That skin's, I would imagine, stretched.

There's no going back. I'm with you. That's why I haven't done it. Because like it doesn't bother me enough. It's only when like, okay, do you see how this dress like you can sort of see. the like ridges where like like this is made for a lady with honkers yeah yeah I ain't I ain't got it's it's only aesthetic but the face one was like that'd bother me for years me wanting me wanting to have tits is like a half the time the face one seems so much more

seems more invasive to me than a tit thing because I've seen and that maybe this is a different surgery and like it's just other stuff they're doing on the face but like I saw a picture online of someone with like their whole face folded like almost in half like it looked ghastly like all the flesh and skin and whatnot like sine you was just folded down their forehead was like laying on their lips and the guys like going to town with with power tools on their bone they ask you if you want to see the surgery photos after I said no no they should let you keep the bone flakes but that's it I asked I asked oh my god I asked if I could have like the because the Browage gets cut off. They'll show you.

They'll show you a little model that they made of like, here's what we're taking away before they do. Because they grind it down and then they put like a plate over it that's this like your new like forehead bone. You know so much about this. Yeah. Well, the lady in our hangout and gruesome detail

explained the surgery several times. I don't remember her saying that there's a plate that they put back in. Yeah, they grind everything down and then they may even put holes in and then there's like a a plate that goes over that that's like a pretty lady shaped forehead. Hearing any surgery described is just ghastly.

Like they're all gross. Have you ever seen like the knee surgeons? I like to think that they're in there like carefully, but this guy's got like a seven iron just smack in your knee trying to make a bar go in. Yeah. Making a lot of noise. Like the guy's unconscious.

You got roofing hammer, Bob. Yeah. Yeah. They're going to work on you. This shit sucks. I would not want that. It's like that with just in LIPO being done. Yeah, they're way more aggressive.

I feel like the skin's gonna puncture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know skin stretches. He's cleaning gutters. Yeah. I heard LIPO is one of the tougher things to recover from. Like I don't know anyone who's done it, but I've seen him on YouTube and he's like, it's just, like, it's a six-week recovery. I could have just watched my diet for six weeks and lost 10, 15.

pounds. I'm like, solid point. The BBLs are crazy because they'll lipo the fat from their bellies and unsightly areas, and then they'll pump it into their asses. But something about that technique, it's not like the fat they pump in melds with the fat and like joins the fat that was already in your ass. It becomes like the second compartment of fat that is divested from your system.

you get blood and everything, but when you burn calories, they never come from the fat that they stuck in your ass. So when you turn, you know, 70, 80, it's like you have a giant fat implants, like a tumor, basically, in your ass that's like hanging off of you. It's great. What if you're already in your mid-50s asking for a friend when you have this done? Yeah. Maybe you're okay in your 70s. I would love to see you. You know what, Woody?

That would be the fun. Woody's like, you know what, I got to start going to the doctor more, having seizures in my bathroom. And then just like smash cut to you in a BBL office in Mexico. Next time I fall, I'll have cushion. When I do the standing episode of PGA, you'll know if I got a caboose. A giant diaper. Make a Patreon tier four, please. And that would, in it, the BBL thing, it doesn't work because your eye immediately identifies when like,

the butt is pretending to be like a butt of someone who squats 400 pounds but there's none of that muscle on the leg too and so it's like a pea shape or like a lolly a dumb dumb like a lollipop you're just like that's not right that's not how bodies look looks weird regardless i'm i'm a fan i like those giant fake asses i'm gonna let you know right now i like those gigantic gigantic fake asses if you go on reddit to bolt it on booty uh you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll see you'll what I'm talking about, just freakishly enormous asses that they don't make sense. And in fairness, it could be one of those things where it's like you only notice the really bad surgeries, like, and so that's what jumps out at you. I'm on a Google Ibit search. These women did fine. They did. If you want to see some crazy transgender surgeries, there's one that I think, I don't know a single person that has said that they wouldn't get it, but it's, you know.

get it but it the recovery seems horrific and hear me out yes you know like a typical part of transition or a typical typical part of like being a guy is having a wider rib cage right yeah tell me about it well oh have i got a surgery for you okay dude i'm built like Elon musk but please carry on i'll fix it i know a guy so here's what they do they go in a little keyhole surgery are down like the back of your spine sort of thing, so there will not be a scar. They will break, I forget which ribs that there's a lot of surgeons operating on, but it's new enough that like, I know, like, I'm friends with someone on Discord that's like getting like the first time getting like the super high up ribs, like moved or something. Okay. But they break each rib, then they strap a

corset on you and tighten it. And you just have broken ribs inside a corset while they're being Ben Inwood for three months. I don't know if you fucking wore, have you ever worn a corset? No. Right. Corsets fucking suck. Having your ribs broken under it seems unfasmably bad. These doctors are in the wild west.

Yeah. I'm hearing a lot of complaining. A lot of mealy-mouthed stuff. You're either committed or you're not. You're not. You're not. I thought you were like the world. I thought you were.

the standard. All right? After you're world famous, all right? You can suffer through three months of wearing a corset if it gives you those feminized ribs. That's sick. A lot of people are doing it and the only reason why I'm not is because I need to get naked for a living

and can't wear a closet 24-11. That sounds just terrible. Is it a sexy corset? Or is it like a... You get it from the hospital. There's a world of difference. I think it's like a waste trainer that you get from a hospital. You like D from it's always sunny in Philadelphia,

like the aluminum monster. Yeah. I mean, like in the world, the surgeries you're talking about, it is, it's funny as a layman to just imagine these doctors sitting around being like, I got one.

Like, we're going to cut the bones up. Well, how do we get rid of them? Just fucking throw them in a corset. All right. Well, you know what? We'll table that part of it.

We'll get back to it. And then day one comes, and he's like, you know what, we'll just try to. fucking corset thing. You know what's I feel very like anarchist like you know the like back in the day

drilling holes into skulls just see like maybe it'll work. Yeah. How they still do that? Yeah that was it was called a trepination and the ancient Greeks did that and you have to know that I like to imagine that the first guy it worked on to relieve intracranial

bleeding was like the that this guy was like a hockster where people come in and be like my belly hurts and he's I got just the thing. Trepination. Like, oh, my nose is stuffed. Eventually, he just happened upon a guy with a brain bleed. It worked.

And he got credit for it. Because there's still those skulls. They have the skulls that were bored into with those. You know it predates. It goes all the way back to caveman times. The first evidence of trepination is like 5,000, 10,000 years old. They would, if you had a severe head trauma, they would cut into your head. And the interesting thing, on those 5 to 10,000-year-old trepination cave,

cases, the skulls have regrown and healed. So they worked. Yeah. That's pretty great. And like, what did they do afterward? It was like, all right, Dr. Grug, it's time to fill the hole with fucking leaves. Bone. They had a piece of animal bone is what the Mesolithic people would do. But the Romans in like going forward through like our history, it's often a coin. Because you've got a ready made round piece of silver or gold. It's kind of sick. Yeah. That'd be like, like, haven't, like they're versus. having a gold tooth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because the hair's never going to grow back in that area.

You're going to have a window. No, you sort of do a horseshoe cut and there's a flap of skin and you try to get the flap of skin back over the coin. So you're good to go. I think they were more advanced than we gave him credit for. I don't think it was as jokey as I was saying. I think they probably knew what they were doing somewhat. But this is before the iron age.

Like, they just use sharpened rocks to perform this surgery. Yeah. We're caught. They were probably going to copper and bronze. You know, they had, wait. They had copper and bronze. bronze seven and ten thousand years ago? They had copper like six thousand years ago, right? Copper age. The guys I'm talking about were stone tools. They did have they had like those bone

drills, you know, where you're like a bow drill where you're spinning a dowel. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. By pulling a bow back and forth. I've seen a lot of guys fuck that up. When they, when they, no, no, you had to want it. You just had to like bite down on the, you know, they probably filled your mouth with sap or something so bears didn't come running. Yeah, I, Transgendas went hot. Do not cut your dick off. You will regret. Technology is not there. Perhaps in year 5,000 BC, perhaps 4990.

Unfortunately, tech not there. He's got like a technology not there yet. You know, I was thinking like another. surgery that would be because you know the short guys they want to get the long legs height surgery what about trans people wanting to get shorter has that ever been broached if you're like six two and you're like i'm feeling too burly they can reverse that and then you could be a bone donor you can get foot surgery to make your feet size smaller taylor you have me thinking if you're a short guy instead of getting your legs lengthened why not just get bobbyn't

bottom surgery and then you'll be a regular height girl. I don't think the trade-offs worth it. I don't see a flaw in this plan. I think I'm on to something. I was going to, I thought you were going to go a different direction. It would be like, to make a whole other person. I don't want, I don't want the,

I don't want the weird, like, arm length with the legs. So I'm going to, I'm going to have them just go all torso meat. I'm going to have a very long torso. Okay. Add a few extra length. They add like three. Most people don't have it at L-11, but this guy.

You'd briefly look leaner, but then my calories would start to match up with my new torso size. I put the way back on. Then you get the rip surgery. Then I get the Marilyn Manson dick-sucking surgery, which I don't know if that was ever confirmed true or false, but I do know that was that every kid in the playground thought it was true. I'm pretty sure that's false. Is it?

Yeah. But it's funnier if it's true. Yeah. Let me give me one minute. Let me quickly mute and turn off. I got a phone call of something. Oh, you're good. Yeah.

Man, all these surgeries making me think of what I want. I can't. All the surgeries that I would want are just terrible. Like, it would be the leg lengthening one. Like, I'd want to go from six foot to like six, five. I wish, to tell the truth, I wish I was a lazy candidate. I would like to not have glasses. I need them more every day.

I have a new prescription and I'm like in a good spot right now, but not when I take my glasses off. That sucks. Yeah. Realistically speaking, that's probably what I would want to. LASIC, yeah, neither of us are candidates for it. My mom's didn't take. My mom's took, but then about three, four years later, her like bad vision just like, it almost just reset. So she didn't go back to where she was, but it started getting bad enough that she had to get like low power going.

glasses again at low power contacts. And also my doctor, I'll say my doctor wears glasses. Like, come on. Like, that's ridiculous. Like, he would know. Like, he's not leaving that on the table. And so when I meet an optometrist who wears glasses, it's like, I'm going to take your action speaking louder than your words here.

My wife's hairdresser had Lasik. and all it did, I forget which direction it went, but it swapped like near-sightedness for far. And he found that swap to be an upgrade, but it wasn't what I want, which is actually just seeing like I was young. Yeah, that would be the most impactful. It would be awesome to wake up in the morning

and just be able to see, not have to like fumble for glasses. Also, I have the TV on as I fall asleep a lot of evenings, and it would be nice if I could like lay my head on the pillow and still watch the TV as I'm drifting off, but I have to take my glasses off. And once my glasses are off, I can't see shit. It's now an audio program. My glasses don't work if my head's on its side. Like even if they're on. Yeah, like push. I'm like double visioned or looking through the wrong spot or something like that. It's no good. I, oh, and my glasses, I keep my glasses spotless. They're as like perfectly

clean as glasses can possibly be at all times. And that just means I clean them 16 times a day. Something like that. It's a lot. You got one of these in every room. Every single rare. Yeah. Bottom of the shirt.

No, that smudges it too much. Yeah, no. So Taylor might have standards like mine. I cleaned my daughter's glasses for her like three days ago. And she was blown away. She's like, whoa, this is better. Like that is my always scenario. Like my glasses are always perfect. Some people are dark dirty glasses. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like seeing adults with

like filthy glasses. It's like you're not a child. Like I remember sometimes like I would when I was a little kid, I just didn't think to clean my glasses. And so like I'd be about to go to school and my mom would just be like, Taylor, stop. Can you even see like, do you realize how filthy your glasses off? I have a different outlook. I wish I had lower tolerances. I'll have one spec. Like, the small, like nothing bigger than a grain of sand, off in some corner that you're not looking through, intolerable has to be fixed immediately. And I see people who have like a fingerprint and they're cool with it.

And like, man, I wish I was that guy. I could deal with it for short amounts of time. But what's annoying is do you have any like eye floaters, little little floaters in your eye where you look back and forth and like they they be very uncommon. Like I know what it is, but not normally. Yeah. I have some. And I only, like I, the last time I was at the eye doctor, which at this point was probably three plus years ago, because my eyes stopped getting worse, knock on wood. And he was like asking me questions. Like, do you have eye pain? Do you ever get headaches? Like, no, no. He's like, do you have any eye floaters? And I'm like, yeah, sometimes like if I'm looking in the right, like in a lot of bright light, like in the morning, golfing or something, like I can notice some stuff. And he's like, interesting. And I'm like, well, what's that mean? And he's like, oh, I was just asking. There's nothing really we can do. that.

He was like, it's not a problem and there's nothing we can do about it. If it's not impeding your life, you're fine. And I'm like, well, then why, why'd you broach that and like,

let me help you with this, like sort of tone. And then there was no, none of that. I'm glad I can see. I am not. You'd spaz if you woke up with my eyes tomorrow.

Oh, of course I would. I would feel like I'd been cursed by the devil. Oh, actually, you'd really have to spaz because you wouldn't have

glasses and you would immediately have to try and call your girlfriend and ever take you to the doctor be stripping on stuff you'd realize like people aren't joking when they hold their phones like that trying to read it i i uh yeah that would be awful i'm so thankful but i'm i can see i don't have any do you have uh issues at all do you have good eyes finn is that a surgery you don't need oh god i hope i hope i i hope i never have to think about my eyes i'm i'm young enough i haven't thought about it. I don't want to consider them getting worse. Every time I can't see something in the distance, I just ignore it.

So you don't wear contacts. No. Oh, fuck. They freak me out. There's cosplayers that were those, like, huge ones. I don't know how the hell will I do that? You seem like, do you think that's too big, Woody? I wouldn't say too big. I'd say that's the max. Show me this. It might be 10% too big.

I don't know. I thought I was very. I thought I was very conservative with those. I thought I was very conservative. What the fuck has been going on? I thought I was very conservative, you know? That's pretty good. It loses the femboy charm, I feel.

That's where I'm torn between. Like, I like being a little bit of, is I like freaking that? That was less than two seconds. I was so quick. That's what you were doing. I think too much. I think too much. 5% less.

Okay, make him H cups. Well, it's not up to you. Oh, I see. All right, so Zach had a complication. He didn't mean to shut it that fast. Yeah, he could fix whatever, whatever. Anyway, this is perfect.

This is the way to go. Yeah. The way to go. It looks nice. They look good. It's that permanent decision. I want to, maybe I should get the ones that are like,

that's big enough that I could like hide them a little bit, you know? I could still, I don't know. Is that what you want to do? Do you want to spend much money and then hide it? Is that the goal to be able to to go either way at times? That's her real hair. I know. By the way, last time you were on the show, you wouldn't tell me your pronouns.

You just told me I got them wrong for four hours straight, which is hilarious bit. But it's she heard now, right? It hasn't changed. Most, like, most friends call me a completely different set of pronouns. So like my, like the person I was dating, they call me they, them, or they just switch it up. my friends both just switch between the people I work with switch between

she her and he him like on a dime and then some people stick with one set it's just it's the dream yeah it's a good way just dealer's choice just you'll answer to whatever like people Taylor is a whole different word he uses

What it would be I'm too shelter He's calling the N word doesn't he makes sense that he makes sense he's just got so much rage that's uh that's that would be a real like joker

thing of me to do a real want to watch the world burn thing like I'd never call a black guy that even if he was gay I gave I gave one of my I gave my best friend the um

the pass to to call me the F one the unworth I have that pass. Let me see. Is it gone? The N or? I have both. Oh, I didn't know. I was talking to someone so qualified.

Yeah, yeah. The N pass I still have, but Imager removed my other one because the guy who gave it to me was holding a big rubber dildo in the picture. So now it's gone. But, you know, all those words are free in traffic. that's like peeing in the woods no harm no foul like if it's on the bridge in pubgy you can say whatever you want you'd be the biggest youtube ever and say whatever you this is my n-pass for what it's worth the f-passes is gone he's gone that guy's dead Woody that you can't that means it never expires dude the man who gave it to you expired thus the past expires. He's not around to give. See, it only works. It only works if you can call him,

like, FaceTime the guys who are about to beat you up and then put Daniel on the, and be like, look, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. He's like, hey, hey, brothers. This one's cool. I like to think that like Woody's angry while he's gaming and he's about to say it. And behind him is, is Daniel and like Obi-Wan blue light, like sagely nodding. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout

and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca.

Or call 1866 5 through 1,2600. Terms and conditions apply. I miss that guy. I really liked him. We're Instagram friends, and like every couple of years, I write him. Yeah, he was a good guy. That was shitty. That's a second death.

I'll make you another F-1, F-word pass. Oh, I would love that. You got to hook me up. I would keep it. I'll make you a real one and mail it so you can have it on your wall. There's like a nice little space, like right behind you. Dude, I dare me. I'll get it done.

There was, like, I gave my friend that pass once and he used it in like a, um, most, oh, fuck. I gave him the pass and then he went, okay, he was uncomfortable with it for a minute and he didn't want to, he didn't want to use it. And I've completely fucking forgot about it until like two weeks later, we were in a regular argument. Like, we would just talk about work and then he called me it mid-goy, well, fuck you, and I, threw me. I, he won that argument. of course he did he's like you're like i can't come back from that he's right

yeah well i mean and of course and he was smart to do that you know spend it on his terms and my understanding of how the pass has worked i've i've never had a pass given to me i'm just kind of a renegade play my own own rules but like i don't i thought the pass meant i thought it was kind of like when Chipotle, like, sent celebrities, that black card. It's not like you get four burritos and then they ax you. Like, you, burritos for life, motherfucker. Like, hard R's abound.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not a coupon, a one-time thing. It's a pass. A coupon? Right, a coupon. Like, you ever get, like, a sex coupon for your birthday or something? You call it in, right? But you can't just do it daily.

Well, then you're hooked up. That's how, the pass is not a one-time coupon. Oh, I'm mispronouncing it. Fuck. How do you say it? No, it's Koonpon. Oh, is that what I said? Koon? No, that's a classic.

Oh, I was like, I don't even get it. Did I mispronounce? It's a coupons for slurs. Yeah. Finn, what percentage are you on only fans now? Are you like 0.01? You're definitely like 0.1, right? Oh, I don't know if I've moved.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I was, I was, sorry. I was about to be. Are you making, like, a million. a quarter? Like, what are you doing over there? Let me check. I actually don't know. Hold on. Let's find out.

I got to a point. My guess is that you're making like $300,000 a month or something. You, kibbutz. I was going to say six digits a month. You would know in your hand right now. Yeah, it's just a crazy mystery. It's six digits.

Yeah. But I also like, I don't know. I just, I got quite comfy with it. I've hired like, I had a couple friends help me take some photos of my asshole. It's like, it's nice. I get to, so are you single right now?

I know you broke up with your partner, right? Yeah, I mean. A year or two ago, it's been a while. Yeah, about a year ago now. Oh, no. It has, oh my God, it has been two years. But, um, yeah, I'm like, I think I tend, I just be fucking around. Like, there's no, I have no serious relationships, which is fun.

Like, um, I get to, oh my God, I've got a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, what do you call it like a booty call but for a dick something dick appointment oh my god i have a dick appointment next week okay so very casual it's exciting because it's like the first time ever like um i well you know i don't buy it is for for on camera oh you're gonna oh on cam i thought you meant like a date you've ever banged on camera no i still haven't i think i should do it while I'm still young. So is this like another only fans creator? No.

It's it's I'm basically I'm so anti-social and I feel like I don't know there's something about like I'm not that experience with oh my god this is so yeah okay I'm not that experience with everything I've never fucked anyone on camera it's still like that'd be really new to me. I've never like done anything crazy with anyone

I guess like anything above like a bloat job, I guess, or like kissing or something. I barely gave a photo on the camera. But like, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. I don't know what noises you make. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I don't know what to put my hands. Oh, I didn't think they didn't know where to put my hands.

Just, just hold them up. That'll look natural. Yeah, I'm slightly scared. I imagined it being still pictures, but you're going to make a whole video. You're going to make a movie. I've got to meet the person first. You're going to make a movie. It's a type of movie.

It's a type of movie. I mean this reaction to this. like explaining hulu to my dad you were telling me people check off to this exactly how my dad where do you rent it well you got to go behind beads at Hollywood video yeah

is it like because I know like they have this thing with like boy bands where the managers would be like even if any of you are like dating, shut the fuck up about it, because in public you're single, because all these little teeny bopper girls are obsessed with NSYNC and it's good for bit. Like, is that only fans as well where like people have like maybe covert relationships, but because they have people messaging them,

they under wraps. I imagine so. Like, it's got to be. Like, like, I would think so. Because it's so common even for like streamers or something like YouTube is like you keep your relationship sort of out of it. But I don't think anyone gives a fuck. Like, would you really care if like you're about, you're going to go pay for like some girls only fans like do you care if she has a boyfriend maybe if you're paying for like like a boyfriend girlfriend like experience with a lot of private stuff like like like personally like maybe then like if you're i don't know too many people that do it because you end up with the types of people that just come to your house yeah yeah yeah i don't want that smoke do you ever get like i know the the messaging is a big moneymaker for people

on there to talk like via text what are some of the weirdest messages and things that people have said reaching out? It doesn't even have to be like X-rated, dirty, like it could be just some weirder who wants to talk to you about aeronautics. There's tons of everyone in every category. Someone talks to me about aeronautics. There's a pilot that makes a lot of model planes that I get to see who's like a really big, like a whale on the page.

She's great. And like, I don't know. There's everyone's little hobbies because everyone likes to talk. Everyone just likes chatting. Like, people tend to, like, jerk off and then just have a little chat for a minute, you know, which is quite fun. Yeah. Oh, they talk to each other. No, no, no.

They all just talk to me. They're just talking to like a, like, they're just kind of yapping in the chat afterwards. And I just get to go like, that's so cool, honey. And it's live, though. So they're. I respond like, I don't know. I'm, I'm terrible. Like, they'll message, go back to it in like five or ten minutes.

It's never like, but it's not like a, a Zoom call type thing. Right. She's getting like private messages from people requesting what oh that's my question. What is the request that you said no to like like what's the sort of thing that they that you get asked for a lot that you're like now now no putting uh okay I've got I got two answers one one one one one's like just funny one there was a there was one a bit ago it's not a common request it's just the weirdest request I've ever gotten and I said no to it and I kind of regret it. It was a guy that wanted me to like film a video. It was like, have you ever had a giantess kink? Well, like someone like that's like the lady's like huge. Yeah, I think so. It's like a I think there's they they go hand in hand. I think some people are just into the idea of big ladies. That's here. But he wanted me to hold up like a little gummy bear and then kind of act out a scene where like I I'm He is the gummy bear and I eat him and I'm you know talking dirty the whole time. Hopper's still out there for them you said no to that

and by the way I wanted to be a gummy worm I know I finally came on the show after you keep bugging me in my DMs for it all these years but I said no just because I didn't that's true next time somebody wants you to consume candy just send them to me like I know a guy

I know how much you to come you I do that for the, I do that at cost if you sent me the gummy bears. I have with a love of the game, I'll eat a gummy. I would, I would, I'd be like bad at it. I'd be like, you're such a fucking loser. Like, it's just like, just be a, that kind of me. That's perfect. Oh, that's what they want.

Taylor, you're only fans natural. You know what you're one of the root beer ones. Gross. You could be really good. Okay. The one that I truly do just sign out to it, besides like you'll get. people that'll pop up and they're like just like you know like the types of like like just immediate block like someone will mention like age play or something like i'm not gonna uh like something

fucking weird like but the one that's like i think on the borderline of acceptable in gunner spaces that i just don't i just think is a bit weird is uh is just anything to do with race play there's like a lot of like you know like bbc i've had like a message i've got messages from someone that's like your your porcelain white skin and like that maybe not maybe not I just won't and you're like yeah no I'm raking in enough I don't have to deal with this yeah what if the age play guy was like I want you to pretend to be positively geriatric like like you're a like you're a super centenarian you're like I might do it right yeah you want to see some bad posture I got plenty.

I got plenty. I want to see you like bitch. Yeah. I want to watch you fall asleep at 715. I want to take you out to lunch at Golden Crowe at 3.30. Tell me how this damp makes your knee hurt. You just wait till you see where I put that walking cane. Tell me about the war.

No, pick an hour. You're ruining it. Oh my god. Great job. Well, yeah, that would be good. That'd be perfect. That's what I'd be doing. I can't believe you need to tell me there. That's light sauce. I would, I would, can it? Let me, let me give you one that you might be good at. There was, um, something that's really common is like dick rating. So like someone will send you a picture of their dick and you, you give it a rating. Typically, I'm very, or like two thumbs up. How do you do this? I've been doing one to ten. Okay. I know, you just straight up honest. Do you give tens to tens and ones to ones? Or do you flatter a little or do they all get sevens?

Bet it depends on the money. You flatter a... No, I'm dead. I'm... Listen, no matter how much you pay me, you're getting an accurate rating. You're a journalist. Yeah. Integrity. I will say, like, maybe they're bumped up by one or two points.

Okay. You grade on the curve. Oh! That's pretty good. I've given one 10 in my life and it was a monster. I just was shocked. I think most of the video I was just going,

oh, yeah, how does a person get born with that? But then every now and then, you'll get people that just want to be insulted, and I think you'd be great at that. Nice. Nice. You're like a little SPH. Okay.

Yeah. Oh my God, you know the terms. I would be, I would like, I would have to, I wouldn't, I'd be like, before I even talk about your dick, you know, you're going to clean that, filthy apartment. You actually fix their lives up.

Yeah. And then after like after like they're making them like you know scrub their you know windex everything and then afterward I'd be like and it's not it's not good. Oh. You know, drink a full glass of water and get a good

night's rest. Yeah. Fuck. I hate this dominatrix. This guy's the worst. He just keeps telling me to send a job applications and get my shit together. Yeah.

You know what that dick tells me? It tells me your dad's not proud of you. Your mom probably resents what you could have been. The guy's like, I'm not even hard anymore. I got to reevaluate some things. And no, I'm not going to send you gummy bears. I filmed one yesterday, and I think part one of the, one of the jokes I made during it was like, I've known girls on estrogen that would love a dick as small as yours.

Do they tell you they're into SPH or do you assume based on what they're packing? Well, they usually send the dick pick and they're like, write my tiny stupid pathetic cute. Even I picked up on the context clues. I just, I don't know, that's so funny to me. The idea of like they're like hard and excited and then like not even addressing the dick and finding some like problem with their picture composition or their apartment. being dirty or their nails that light too long bad lighting that i'm i'm gonna get sick of it i fucking oh i fucking hate when guys don't shave at all i don't like i give that i say that for every single one i think the ideal is like a buzz cut for like

you for everything like like chest hair and shit like that maybe not chest there but like for your junk i guess like i don't know i i can't help but picture like you're you're you're you're your pool girlfriend's going down getting fucking pubes in her mouth that's fucked up yeah it's no good yeah it's it's a little rude you know you should but also sometimes like you'll shave all the way down and you're like i think it does look a little better with a buzz cut instead of just the the the nair i'm too afraid of chemical burning like my fucking scrolet i'm not i'm not i i mean i've done it before you you have to learn how to dial in the chemicals that are melting the hair off your asshole. I got spooked and I cut the I cut the cord early because I remember you tell me you're like

you need to have that on for at least eight minutes but don't for the love of God keep it on for more than nine and I was like oh fuck I didn't send an alarm I like rubbed it all on down there I started to feel a little something little tingling that was either the eucalyptus oil or the chemicals seeping into my skin and I just like I I rinsed it off too early gave myself kind of a like a Hitler stash looking thing and had to like get a razor and finish it. So like it also if you're like skittish about it like that and I am too, you can just do it

in phases. So like if every shower you put it on there for like three minutes, you'll never burn yourself. But every time you do it you sort of like degrade the hair more. And by like the third session the hairs are all crispy. They like snap off. Like and by

the end you can literally like scrape them off and it's way closer than a shave. Oh, I've never used Is this nair? For some reason, I thought it was like shaving cream. Like, you put it on there and shit. No, it felt the hair off. And then you'd wipe it off. So I'll go through my process because it took some dialing in and I did burn myself once.

So you want to get the nair that's for men's. There's one of them that like coily is labeled as like for your dick and balls. Like it's like men's down under nair or something like that. But I put on a glove because I don't want that chemical to be like burning my hand. So, like, I put it on a glove and I put it everywhere that I want the hair gone. And then as soon as I start putting it, I get wet and then I get out of the shower and I stand outside the shower. And I start a timer that's five minutes. And at five minutes, it's time to start getting it to fuck off, like, quick.

Like, you don't dilly dally at all. I'm in there acting like I have burning chemicals on my day. You're getting it off with running water. I usually, yeah, running water and like a washcloth. And I'm scrubbing and like adding soap the whole time. I'm trying to arrest the process that is like, you're going. melting hair because it will quickly go from ooh that's the closest shave I've ever had to

my balls are burnt my balls are burnt hmm oh god but it's tremendous it's really affected yes how long does it last a long time like but when it grows back it's not like my stubble right

I don't have any itchiness or like like ingrown hairs from it or anything I don't want it to be sharp I don't want the sandpaper on the regrowth You get that, though? No, I don't think so. Okay. I don't think so.

I mean, you know, I like to be smooth down there. Sometimes you do it. Yeah, how often are you? Maybe once a month. Oh, shit. That's pretty good. That works? Yeah.

I'm surprised you don't do it. You're the one that you need the smoothest asshole in the world. I know. I'm just really fucking good at shaving my asshole. You should get, oh, dude, you should go get it waxed. That video would go bonkers. They'd love to see you. get your ass waxed.

That sounds painful. Yeah, surely no one wants to see it. Do a little poll. Who would like to see me get my ass? Who would like to see me get my ass waxed? Okay, show of hands. Yeah, and then everyone who responds, yes, you just can respond and be like,

you're fucking gay, did you? On your page, if someone subscribes to you, do they see all the content, or some of it like paid on top? No, I'm terrible. Some of it's paid on top. But I basically the, I just got really into photography.

So on the page, there's like, I noticed your voca. Oh, this is a, oh my God, I'm so glad you went. You didn't ask, but still, I'm going to tell you. It's a T1 lens. So it's 1.05 or something, which if, you know, like, did you see the Odyssey, how blurry that shit is? Is that what that is?

Yeah, technically this is the full frame depth of field equivalent. So it's like an IMAX camera almost with like the amount of blur. Like that looks like it's miles away, but it's like three steps. I like that. Oh, you were saying you said some of your stuff is paid for on top of the monthly subscription? Yeah, I think I section it like most video like 95, 90% of the videos are like paid for. And then all of the photos you can like there's like, what, 10,000 photos I've done or something insane, like, that you just get when you're on the page.

And then then I send out little, little free things every now and then just for fun. Is that the main, like, thing now, the only fan, not, not any other streaming platforms, just, I don't know. There's tons now. Like, um, I mean, like for you, like, you're, you just have like pivoted to fully only fans, not like Twitch and that stuff anymore. I, I, I think I got like, um, I think I got like, um, I mean, um, I mean, like, um, I mean, Twitch is stressful sometimes. Like you'll have like, like, you've been hovering over like the go live button.

I don't know what I ain't got shit to say or like, I don't know. I'm just not feeling it today. Like I don't know about doing a, you know, four hour live broadcast now. Yeah. Like it just seems a bit daunting. And then I, but I can, I can just sort of control all like the little angles and lighting and everything with, with only fans. And I get to fuck around with cameras. You can, you can, does your team constantly fight leaks and stuff?

Ford has just accepted his life. To a point, you can only do so much. Like, they'll happen. But like, can I tell you a secret? I'm kind of... I won't tell anyone. Just us. Yeah.

I'm kind of... Sometimes they'll leak and I'll read the reactions to people because they'll get like a couple million views on something and I love reading people's reactions to the leaks. It's so good. Like, I don't know if you ever had like the positive affirmation of how good you are at giving head, but it's pretty fucking. ghoul.

I saw a picture of you, fully clothed, by the way, on Reddit. And the reactions were that you set expectations too high that most people should not expect to look as good as you. And I was like, I bet she'd love seeing this. Can you link me that? Thanks. It was a while. It was like years ago.

Damn. I mean, I've had like, I've had surgery now, so there's a good cope. Like, I did. But I don't know. I'm, I don't like to give people like a, I don't think genetically I'm all that special. I think I'm just like, I think I'm good at angling a bit. And I think I'm like, I know how to construct a good image instead of like, I'm not a genetic marvel. I think that's what all girls do, though.

Yeah. That's what everyone does. I don't think I'm like, I don't think that like, you could probably take a pretty average. but pretty guy and then turn him into me i don't know i i i only half agree i think there are other people who could get your results but i also think you're in the top i don't know one percent five percent you know who could do this they call that a passoid i think on four chan i want to know karl's reaction i've never heard that but like so you know like one in a hundred one and twenty people but that's still a tiny percentage i it's i it's i

I think it's higher. I think there's like, like the amount of trans women I've met at like conventions and stuff, it's always like a, the problem is like no one, no one really knows what they're doing. And I got very lucky because like I haven't like essentially open source like crowd research like center. Like if I don't know how to do a thing, like I don't know how to make my eyes look the right way with eyeliner or something. Someone will tell me. I don't know what haircut to get that's most feminizing for my face shape because I never learned it. Like it's a lot of like a lot of trans women just don't get the you know they don't get taught how to braid hair and shit like how to do your makeup right how to dress well how to dress well as

rough i'm still working on that your voice is more feminine i think than it was years ago do you think that's the estrogen or are you trying oh no i don't i didn't even notice you don't just fucking happen oh god i didn't know that just happened Yeah. Estrogen doesn't really, estrogen doesn't change your voice. I think maybe, you know, like the... Kistosterone will. Yeah.

You know the gay voice. Maybe it's like, you just sort of like socialize into it. Like maybe you just get treated as a girl long enough. And then you just sound like one. That makes sense. So most people are straight. Is your friend group mostly straight? Or do you think you have a, I don't know, sourced friend group?

There's one straight guy in my friend group and none of us believe him. There's got to be something, you know. We ask all the time, like, okay, what's like the most 5% gay shit you can do? And because he's like, at this point, he's very defensive because we ask all the time. He's like, I'm at 0% man. never like how much for you to kiss a guy I'd fucking wouldn't even look at one like these these very quick off the draw with it mm-hmm yeah on the scale of zero to a hundred percent gay surely you there's there's no one at zero there's barely

right right a hundred where do you think some dry spell you guys are gonna blow him what's happening here I asked her about her friend group if I led with you hey most people are straight your friend group. Do you have many straight guys in your friend group? And she said there's one. And now we're determining how straight he is. I don't think very. Well, we always used to use that meter where we found that,

remember the trans man porn star. I can't remember his name, but he's always like smoking a stogie, his head shaved. He's got like pecks and abs. Like he vibes man. Dick Buck Angel. Dick Buck Angel. We would always take Buck Angel and juxtaposed it against Bailey J. Am I close?

Bailey Jay, the OG tranny. And it was like, clearly, it's more gay to have sex with Buck Angel than it is to have sex with Bailey Jay. Who do you think would be tougher to beat up in like a MMA-style fight? Buck Angel.

Their current structure. I don't know heights. If you saw a Buck Angel, you wouldn't ask this question. Show us Buck Angel, Zach. Honestly, he says masculine as you are, but has a vagina. He's more masculine. asking than I am.

How like... Five, nine. Okay, pretty pretty normal height. The one on the left is a... The one of the left has a vagina, but one on the right has a penis. That's the phrasing I was hunting for.

Thank you for the save. Buckingle is 64. 64 years old. That makes it easier. Not in this picture. We've been doing the show a long time, Taylor. Let's not... I'll start counting.

I just, I looked up both of their heights and it's had the age there. That's fair. Well, Buck Angels. But yeah, you know, listeners, you could ask yourself, which one would you have sex with if you're a straight guy? And honestly, I think it's way gayer to have sex with the person on the left. I got it, Woody. Which one are you going to kiss for three seconds? Which one are you going to kiss?

You're going to kiss the guy that has more facial hair than me? So you're telling me I only get three seconds. or that pretty Jew lady hypothetical single Woody on the right all day that's pretty Jew lady before you kiss her say like this is for Palestine

and like really smooth you good are you making this is one of Bailey Jay's big like causes Israel I don't even know she is Jewish clearly Jewish I can spot them Woody

my people I got it in my blood I can spot you're Irish Irish are terribly anti-Semitic Taylor She's Irish, Swedish, Spanish, indigenous American and Italian

Indigenous American She's clearly That's basic That's basic white bit shit They all say some of that I thought she was Jew part Cherokee Oh wait Right.

How did you find this out? Oh. Kyle, I'm wrong. I confused somehow Bailey J with Jay Bailey, I guess. And I think she's Jewish. I think she's Jewish.

You give me a line up full of Semites. And I'll go through that thing. I'll tell you, 100% accuracy. Put Raw McGraw, making those guys out. They made a movie about it. you and it didn't end well. Brad Pitt got you good.

Yeah, but I still got that villa and that that deal. I mean, a little plastic surgery. Look, we want to talk about getting your forehead fixed. You don't think Hans Landa can get a little swastika taking out of his forehead? Can you just be a hat guy? Who cares? Yeah, be a hot guy. He was losing his hair anyway. You'd be surprised with him to Taylor's hat.

Yeah. A lot of Hindu symbols, so to speak. I saw an Indian person with like a bumper sticker of their swastika in St. Louis. And you could tell it was it wasn't the Nazi kind because it was going the other way. And they had the little dots in the area, the little like gaps between the spikes. It's like the everlasting sun or something like that, right? Like it's something positive and like sort of thing. I don't know.

But like I'll be like, okay, that's true. Hitler can't ruin this symbol that a bunch of different people used for eons. you know, he can't, just like he can't steal that mustache from people if they want it. You know, Michael Jordan used that. But also then they'll be like, you know, this is a symbol we use to worship our six-armed monster god. Clearly a demon. It's like, our six-armed monster god. Yeah, did you see them?

there was a clip on Reddit of I guess there was some sort of a monster god parade and they had that big elephant statue and it was so big and tall that the power lines were in the way. It couldn't pass under them. So what do they do? Some got climbed on top of the elephant god

with some clippers and started clipping all our lines now. The Indian, the monster god could make its way through the streets. Yeah, every single religious Hindu festival I see is like is this a real This looks like where the wild things are. Like a bunch of like monsters and beasts parading through.

And if the God doesn't look friendly, it's like that's not endearing me to them. Shouldn't have blood on his mouth. Shouldn't have like pieces of other animals in his mouth. I don't think that's tolerant. Would you just link? Those are way too big. I'm curious if Taylor agrees. Do you think that those are way too big compared to the previous ones?

No. I can never see these love for fucks sake Thank you how long has that been generating for That one was actually fast uh that that was that was really quick Okay good it knows it's got it's got good training data for me too much Yeah those are h cups thank you if you were really if you were really like having fun troll and fin over this you would also include things like and make the nose 5% bigger like make make the Make the eyebrows 11% thick and then looking at a cute.

Just like a big mango eyebrow ridge too. Just like remember when people would do that to me and they still do it to me where they post pictures of me with my eyes photoshopped slightly farther apart. And it is very funny. But I'll just see the picture and be like, oh, that can't be. I know I'm not a looker, but my God. Oh, this is fake. This is thank God.

Yeah. They somehow made me, oh, nope, that is my weight. Damn it. They didn't get me with that. Drink the boobs, add a little body hair, now we're talking. Add body hair. I've got no body hair from my eyebrows down, Woody. I'm so sorry.

Have you ever used like a breastplate? I'm tapping out. Just for photography and stuff? Well, like a warrior? Yes, like a warrior. Like a centurion. Like a centurion's breastplate. Not a giant silicone closely matched instead of Hooters.

You should pivot to like cosplay except like, like incredibly historically accurate. Like that's your new thing. That would be funny. What superhero should you dress up as? What do you think? Oh, it would be funny if you teased it for a long time

and then it was like Iron Man. People can't see anything. I was going to say, George Vader. It's like just handed. Oh, you get even go to return. Hold the lightsaber down near your dick and just bian, comes out like that,

yeah, that'd be a good idea. I think I have a lot of good content ideas for your fans that wouldn't at all upset them and get them on subscribe. Yeah, yeah, you should make you out of the top 1%. Mm-hmm.

Top 0.01, by the way. 0.01. Is that, is that across the whole site or is that? I think that. It's never moved. I think that's where it just locks in it. That means there's probably like 60 people ahead of you.

Like you probably could list them. There's like you could probably list them, but there's like over a thousand I think that are ahead. Or at the very least like because it doesn't as far as I know it doesn't go lower or higher. I have no fucking clue. It'd be so cool to meet the people that are making like millions from it, like millions a month. Yeah, but then I've also seen those little exposés from time to time where some journalists will write an article about like you know we hear these stories about people making 150 even half a million dollars a month on only fans but here's the average I guess the median

income and it's like some like 20 22 dollars and it's some guy being like I'm going to download naked pictures of Susan from work because she doesn't know I know about this oh like not that well they verify like creators and stuff you can't you literally couldn't It was gonna be some AI people on only fans, right? Who just not real people? I mean, there's definitely people that use like AI chatbots, but as far as, oh my god, wait, Zach has the answer. There are approximately 500 creators. Oh my god, cool. There you go. You're in the mix. Oh, I should make a tier list. But like,

I gotta be the, uh, the thing that I want to know because they never ranked them is like, I want to know if I'm like the number like what category am I in like if someone search is like number one you're number one. You're number one. Right. You've got to be number one Femboy. It's in my bio. I think I wrote like number one Femboy TM. So it better be true otherwise fraud. You can probably beat up. It better be true or some other Femboy's going to see you in court.

Like he's going to be like I'm not surprised you're going to collaboration. That seems like a way to just almost double your money. If you could find another one of these top 500 creators and do a little crossover event, especially someone who's not exactly in your sphere of influence. like if you could touch in someone who's got a different fan base. If I had the balls to ask if Bell Delphine would peg me, oh. It would make so much money.

Tweet it Bell Delphine. Finster wants to know if Bell will peg her. No, she's a friend of mine. I have no, please don't let that get to her. She's embarrassed to ask Bell, but we're here to tell you that she wants it bad. She's even picked the toy out. I can. I can match it to the pink wig.

See, even in your hypothetical dream collab with Bell Delphine, you don't want to use your dick? No. You've done stuff for before, right? It seems like an oversight. Taylor's like, gay.

I think you're, I don't want, I think you're, I think you're, I think you're fucking gay. I think that might be a, a real thing. Oh, wait, can I tell you about my cock? There's, you know, go for it.

It's, uh, it's a month. It's an occasion this month. It's Locktober. Are you familiar? Locktober? Nope. Okay, what the... Oh, that's body a shit.

No, what are you doing for October? No, it's Locktober. Locktober. Have you ever heard of a chance to D.Cage? Yes. Oh. I was hoping it was lock and load related. Yeah, you're going to ruin a whole month?

No, I don't know if the rules are like you can't come or like you've just got to be in this chastity cage I'm gonna be in the cage for like the whole time. I've got to, oh, do you want to see something kind of crazy? A whole month? Yeah, I think that thing's gonna stink. No, you don't. Oh my god. I'm not that bad. What happens if you get hard in a chastity cage? It's fucking, it's rough. It's, it feels like, you get injured.

It's, it feels like, you know, got to try it, but it feels like a, like a lot of pressure. It doesn't feel bad. It's kind of like, um, you haven't been laying down on your front and got a boner? It's not as restrictive as a cage. You just roll over. Well, yeah, but I mean, yeah, that's what it feels like. But also, like it kind of, you just get progressively more how, how like, uh, like, how gross can I be on here? He is gross as you question. Hmm. Grosser. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, get just progressively hornyer and like you've ever had like um i'm not sure if this is an estrogen thing or it'll just happen to like anyone but like you'll like sort of leak pre-cum just generally you'll have like

the you'll be wet which when you're turned on it's a very weird experience and i didn't think i would fuck with it and i kind of did oh this is not your first locktober i failed one two years ago because i couldn't do it are you locked in right now i mean we're only a few hours into october course. Do you want to see something? Not my dick. Yeah, let's see the thing. Hold on. If you click that link, it's going to be data. I just, I've made a live stream like, just, I think this is so good. That's right over there. Wait, I wonder if, hold on, fuck, I left a bend out, but I could like go throw some, I could go move the keys on camera. It's do that, do that. Tap the keys I want to see. Oh, wait, don't do it yet. Zach, can you live stream? Can you, can you

include these keys. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365.

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This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland, the hit original series is now streaming on Paramount Plus. We are the Harrogans. Don't know than it? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I won't come at dead.

Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want to want! I'll give you a... Moblad. New season is now starting. streaming on Paramount Plus. If it was serious, those keys would be like thrown in a river or something.

Hilarious. All right, we can see. Oh, okay. Now, in about 30 seconds, that'll do, that'll do it. There it is. Hey. It's real. Yeah.

That's, those are the only keys. If, oh, God. You know what? This is kind of funny. This is good content. You can. So the only key, you keep a backup with the main key? No, those are the keys.

That's what I mean. It seems like you should have the spare in a safer spot. Like they shouldn't, you put all your eggs in one basket. That's a nonsense. I don't know why the keys are even at your house. You don't put both your car keys you get with your car on the same thing. Well, yeah, but you always get a spare. And like, I'm not going to lie.

I'm not going to like hide one of the keys. That's against the spirit of the game. Oh, I didn't consider that. Yeah, they need to know that your other. key is also there. You're nothing if not a stickler for the rules of October. Exactly. Thank you. Seriously, Taylor. Do I feel like October like 9th, you're going to, you're just going to be like, this shit sucks.

This is not fun. I'm like, I'm getting my peas are messy suddenly. Like, oh no, you can. Oh my God. I've kind of like, okay. It's kind of really convenient sometimes. The only time I've ever thought about bottom surgery has been like when I've been in a cage and just like sat down to pee and didn't have to think like I don't have to aim I have to think about anything you can just pee when you're sitting it's it's just point in the right direction already kind of yeah and it's you don't have to like you don't have to do much the only times that it's been a

problem are like in the morning you'll just just need to piss and then you got to go ah I can't fucking ticked I got to sit this is so stupid does it give you a giant bulge the cage like depends how big the cages are you cheating like it's like it's like you're walking around with it in a shoe box. No, it's like, can we show that? I can prove it, Taylor. I don't. I think YouTube might dislike that, actually.

Zach can blur whatever he needs to blur. Shut up, Taylor. I'll send you a, but you shut the fuck up. Shut up. Ladies, try to pull a dick out over here. You fucking, what are you doing? But it doesn't just get P all over my hold on like your your metal.

No, no, no, like I mean if you were like have you ever seen like this people that have you ever seen a flat chastity cage No flat like do you know the name of this cage? I want to Google it. I don't know anything of It's flat chastity cage when you say flat I'm picturing like those things that ended up not even being real but they haven't like medieval museums where it's like the kind of women wore that had like scary spikes on it and it's just it's like a metal diaper yeah those that's what two but that's those totally exist yeah all that exists well there's no way those aren't going to stink there you got i don't understand this those are big a great you don't understand it yeah i does the penis just point through the middle which is clearly threaded and for something it's going to mush your

penis flat and push it into your body. Oh, that can't be good for you. Can't be good for long term. And look, and you're telling me something like this wouldn't be completely covered in piss. No, it would be. Oh, yeah, you're pissing all over that. You, you, you, this would be impossible. No one's doing this for October. This is like the, against the Geneva Convention. You can't do that to people. Is that what you're wearing, a flat one like that? No, I've got like a, it's I wish I could send you a different one that's like way bigger, but it's not. It's appropriately sized. It's like it looks very normal.

Hold on. Sorry, the thing Zach linked. There's like a real version of it. They do just look like that. The lockmaster. One hex key included. Are generous? I'll send you, oh my God.

I'll send you a photo of one that I think is similar. like a similar looking thing but this one's worse a great URL name by the way again

I thought I knew a lot about things but do you want to know what that's that threaded hole was for on the on the chastity age I very much do your erythral tube oh it's a

catheter of some sort I see that makes sense Oh, no. You need to find one of the ones that, like, just push it, has like a rod that just pushes your dick so far back into your body that it's nonsense. You know so much about this guy. Then you can't even pee. I know everything about everything.

That's fucking crap. I love all the niche fetishes and the weird things that folk. I mentioned the who cow stuff earlier. That's hilarious. Vore is the funniest fetish of all. It's basically attack of the 50-foot woman fetish. Like you want a giant 50-foot-foot-foot. tall lady to like grab you and eat you like attack of the titans or whatever attack on titan

or whatever i know the fore thing because we must goon to attack on titan we went through deviant art stuff about ore and uh inflation years ago people who want to like be blown up and popped like a balloon the adult baby diaper stuff is uh is always fucking hilarious the cloppers the people who sexually uh sexualized like my little pony and they have all those like uh they had like the My Little Pony Fuck Toys. Oh, all that stuff is just so... Do you remember when I read that bug chasers thing? Yeah.

In front of Aryan Foster and he was repulsed. Yeah. Bug Chasers is gotta be like... It's about as far out there as the people who want to be cannibalized, the people who are into like forcible castration, and stuff like that. Like, like, it's pretty... Pretty fun.

very horrific. I mean, if your thing is like giving someone else a deadly disease, like you're a murderer. That's sort of a different branch of it. There's a lot of, well, the book chaser is the guy who's like fantasizing about getting it. Oh. The little thing we read, it had both sides of it. Yeah, the other side of it is slightly different. There's like guys with HIV who will like stealth people where they sneak the condom off and like basically rape them without their permission.

Kill them. And they're positive. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty dark. That's a lot darker than someone who's like, I want to be blown up like a balloon and popped by fucking Princess Peep. Yeah. I know.

Doesn't the gummy bear thing seem so like pop-pop-y and like gumball after that? It seems pretty light after that. No, I said no and I regret it. I should have done it. If you're out there, gummy, she's down. I've got to, I did a weird one like recently. I did a weird one this week. There was a guy that just wanted to see the back of my throat and that was it.

Oh. You paid me like a couple hundred bucks to take like a five second video. You know what people worth every penny? I bought one of those ear cameras the other day. And it's got like a perfect little lens for like close up. And you can like it pairs to your phone. And I'm like exploring my ear canal with it, which sounds a little gross.

But I bet dudes would be totally into you like showing the FPV of like a dildo. Like you suck the dildo, but then have. the POV from that camera of what it would look like if you were the dildo. Tip POV. That's fucking crazy. That's a great idea. That's a lot of, oh,

the camera would be on the dildo. I would just get the P-O-V like separate and edit them together a little bit, you know, but that camera's fun. I've been like, I'm like, oh, my ears are so clean.

This is impressive. It's really fun. Wow. Bragg much. I went for, I checked out my belly button, make sure that thing was clean, got all splunked down in there.

clean as a whistle. What's at the bottom of that? There was some stuff down there. I cleaned it out though. Okay. There was like an errant hair. The head like snuck its way down in there, got him out. Who knows how long he'd be in there if I hadn't found it with the, with that little, it's like $16 on Amazon. It's really fun. You've mentioned before you get, you like, get to clean your belly button out more than someone who isn't fat should.

Here's the thing. I, and look, I've been backed up on this every time I've brought it up. Like, guys will have that reaction. then they'll go do what I tell them, which is to like really get in there deep with a Q-tip and some like peroxide and explore and like after a hot bath and then like they're always like dude, there was stuff in there. Thank you. There was stuff in there that shouldn't be in there. Let's take a little peat. Everybody. Everybody comes back to me with that. Not me. I keep mine clean. Not me. I think I got lucky with my belly button shape or something. There's

nothing in there. I don't know. It kind of hurt. I just did it now. Oh, okay. I'm feeling around in there too. It's deeper than I'd like. You can't feel it in your finger.

No, it's deeper than a finger can get. You need to get in there like a Q-tip and like part the folds of belly button. My finger is 12 times longer than it needs to be to get to the bottom. Yeah, and mine's at least five times longer. I might have a bit of bed. Oh, that's another fetish that we explored one time is belly button fucking. And I can't think of anything funnier. Finn, there's a whole fetish about fucking fat chicks belly buttons.

And like when you're obese enough, the belly button is like six or eight inches deep. It'll work. So it becomes like a whole like you can loob up these fat girls belly buttons and rail them. Yeah, and these girls are like death fat. Early PCA was naughty. I remember we saw that guy fuck a chicken. And without thinking about it, I would think a chicken was way too small, right? But eggs passed in there.

Yeah. Now compare your girth to the girth of an egg, and you will realize that this could be done. Any zoophile fans out there? Have you gotten into the bad dragon toys yet? Anybody got a big pony dick in you? I've bought some bad dragon toys, and they're like getting a puzzle that you get to solve. how the fuck am i going to get this in me it's it takes some like there's one that's like they're difficult in different ways i've got one that's like this big but it's a tentacle

so it end like it's like it's like a okay it's the tip is not so big yeah the tip is so it's like it's like it's easy but like it just it just keeps going just keeps fucking going and i didn't i don't know how i got this far into the job well like into my career without knowing that like you can like train your butt take like bigger dicks like a like like you know wider but like you've got to train it for length too I just never run into that issue

like this people that have taken like a like a snake out of that thing that just seems terrible yeah I've seen I see those girls on the internet taking just an annoy it's where is it going and you see belly distinction that's another good subreddit

it's all about belly distinction where like the thing that's fucking them it's usually a gigantic toy is like pushing their bellies out and you can see that it's like like that's all I don't it seems humanly impossible it seems like they should be dying it's all a woman do it to herself because she could go elbow deep at her own butt yes I've seen that too I saw that exact clip that's a tremendous amount of just baseline flexibility to get just punching her belly from inside and she's like

and she is not being gentle it's not don't imagine her being like careful and sur- she's like bang bang bang bang she's throwing like I think the clip I saw she had been to edit for a while

maybe she was careful three minutes earlier or something yeah yeah yeah that there wasn't that individual's first rodeo like no

they didn't wake up that morning and decide to dip up she was doing yeah she'd been swimming in that moment they make like a long

bad dragon makes like a tentacle that's like 36 inches long and like starts off like really skinny and ends up like that big

you like feed that thing in like a fire And there are still tentacles on it. There are still like suckers on it because that doesn't seem like a good texture. So what I was referring to is all smooth. But I do have one that's the tentacle. And it's got the suckers all over it. No, I don't like that.

No one has liked that yet. No one has liked that yet. It's it would feel like an octopus was the last thing. Yeah, it's a little rough on the entry. But you can also get like a like a like a Rex or something like that. But even aside from the entry, like, what's dinner at TGI Fridays like afterward, where you're just like, wow. I don't know if I even want to be here with some fucking whore. That's a really, really common, relatable experience, Taylor.

I've never had that experience. No. Not even once. I know exactly why I'm here with this whore. You know, let me put an octopus tentacle in her asshole. She's like, Kyle, do you mind next time if I get to try and use it? You're like, nah. That's mine.

Get your own toys, bitch. I don't share. That would make sense. You probably wouldn't want to share. Please take a, please take a sex toy sponsorship so you can just, like, distribute them to guests. I wish. We should. Which sex machine did you get?

How do you know I got a, yeah, no, it's a high smith. Why would you not have a sex machine? It's common sense. It's a highsmith. It's great. It's really good. It's like, I got a boo. Hushy High Smith too. It was my first one I've got.

Hi Smith? Yeah. That means something if you know what sex machines are. You should be impressed right now, Taylor. Yeah. I looked up High Smith machine, but I forgot about Smith machines. So that's the weight lifting thing. So this is right. They're really good because you can control the like the the thrott, like a lot of fuck machines. Like you can control the speed. But then you got to turn it off to control how far. it's going and with the Highsmith one rust yeah yeah the thrust distance or like even though the smoothness of the threat league got a preset that beforehand which sucks no one fucks like that no one's like how how consistent are you with

your stroke length you know and you gonna spice it up every now and then so you can control that from like from this one so like a real machine like yeah I have the black magic x L I have this one I love that it's basically just me and you talking about this, Kyle, and they're just dealing with it. Well, I'm learning. I'm learning about Highsmiths. This thing has a incredible amount of power. Like, look at the size of the motor.

Yeah. Fucking crazy. It looks like a, oh my God. Dude, the motor on this thing, it's comparable to the filter on my pool. Dude, the idea you have this, like, sitting next to a blackstone grill in your garage is hilarious. Oh, is that where you think it is? Oh, is it right over there? If you want to turn it on, would we see a little ring, ring, ring?

It's literally in the room over there. It's over there. Would it be a lot of work if we could hear it? I don't. When I get up to pee later, I'll do that. I'll have to plug it in and, like, get the cords out of the closet and everything. Can I give you something to do? Oh, I'm interested in what she's about to say.

Oh, no, it's dreadful. Duct tape and knife to the end of that thing. It's an automatic spear. It's great. Oh, you joke? I've joked about that before. I was like, you know, in a zombie apocalypse, you can pull this vacu-lock toy off

and put a fucking stabber on here. And like, now I'm like, when you pick, you could pick it up and it's like, it's like yin-y-y-in-y-in-y-in-y-d. That's how fast it pumps. Like it's, I don't know how many RPMs it is, but it's like, you can rail bitch with this thing. I've, I've, I've, I've, yeah.

It's a good time. This is like what Kevin, McAllister would have used on those criminals if he was a real pervert. He was like 10 years older. If Kevin McAllister had a gimp in his basement. Wrong house, boys. Marve, the kid

molested me. I still say, and I wish someone would pitch this to McCulley Culkin, him making a new home alone movie, but more in the style of John Wick or nobody, like, would be a bonkers, like

mid-budget hit. That would be an $80, $800 million box office success if McCulley was doing home-al-one. Maybe bring Joe Pesci back. Like, why not? Bring the old guys back, have them do a cameo, but have him killing people. Have, like, maybe, like, Joe Pesci and, like, Marv are, like, coming back

to mess with Kevin one more time, but, like, actual criminals murder them. And then Kevin takes it upon himself to get revenge for his old, for his old foils. Ah. What would they do, though? Like, how would they make him angry? You know, in, in, They killed Marvin Harry.

He didn't like Marvin Harry. The old Marvin Harry were the bad guys. But he has a soft spot for him in this scenario. But now they're all grown up and they've like reconciled. You know, because Marvin Harry are in their 80s and Kevin's 40. Like they're over it now. They did their time. They got out.

They built their lives back up. And then some punks kill Marvin Harry, beat them to death in the street. Wait, wait. You don't beat them to death. They're the wet bandits, right? It has to involve that somehow. You could. drown them. You could see if a toaster's waterproof.

I don't know. Like, something like that. I would watch that. I like McCulley Culkin anyway. I loved him and fall out even then in that little role. I just think when I see him do like YouTube videos with like red letter media and stuff, I love that he does shit like that. He seems so down to earth and like a normal human being despite growing up in the most abnormal way possible. I think I was friends with Michael Jackson. You know what I mean? Like that guy was friend with Bobo the monkey and was a was a child actor, his entire child's And he still seems like pretty well adjusted and normal.

He's at kids and a wife. Was he a meth addict or something? He got really skinny. I don't know if I don't think so, but he did get really skinny. He looked bad for a little while. Yeah. But he looks better now. Yeah.

Who's the, he's got, is it their brother or something that's in succession? Or like some related. Is it Kieran McCulkin? Here in Kulkin, I think. There's like three brothers. I'm glad you, at least for a moment. stumbled on the name because while I have memorized McCulley Culkin's name, I haven't memorized where the first name ends. Yeah, yeah. I just know what to say now. For years, it was like Collie McCulkin and Kyle and I are like, this is crazy. Like last week we told him the name.

I feel like he's got to post it. Like he's like never again. He got me with dragged and drug and I'm like, we won't fuck that up again. That's Woody's life every day, just a series of post-it momentos where it's like this is, it's like, this is Colin. Yeah. Have you thought about expanding into some sort of other entrepreneurial endeavor that's sort of tangentially related to what you're doing now? I think about what Belle Delphine did with some of her, I know your friends with her, but you know, she's selling bathwater and stuff. That's a little out there. Like, have you thought of doing something?

Maybe not that, but something similar-ish. Like some sort of product that is the finster, like penis-tucking panty or something. A lot of it exists. I really see, listen, we'll see how October goes. It'd be fun to make my own, like, branded Chastity Cage. We did at some point Google how long cum lasts, and it does not last very long. They can't do that. That would be.

How long come lasts? Yeah, you can't sell it in a mile? I mean. Someone The Spend don't. You get framed for a crime. I would immediately buy your come and pregnant my girlfriend and take half your money.

You can't get anyone pregnant with my fucking cum. I've been on estrogen for way too long. You did shit don't do shit. Are you sure by that? Finster through God, anything is possible. That's right.

Yeah, we'll pray hard for that money. A quarter million a month. I'm going to get pregnant. Someone's going to commit a crime and then throw your DNA. Yeah, don't sell your DNA. That seems dagey.

But what you could do, why not? clone of Willie, right? Why don't you sell your own like Finster Dildo? All the like the male porn stars do that. You know there's so many dudes out there that want to get down on that thing. They want to ride. I have an answer, but it's not good. I know what's going to happen is I'm going to get someone that buys it and then take a picture comparing it to their own and I'm going to feel awful. Yeah, but you'll have their fucking 1499 or whatever. whatever like good point I need but like who who's out there do you even want a big one like like I would think that you'd want your little little tiny penis hey hey he's doing fine okay he's right now he's not that little clitty's all locked up

don't you're in jail is doing time yeah oh study fucking it anyway but I've I would do it, but like who's buying like a literal average length dick. You know, I would think that'd be the most popular size, especially if the guy you, if it's a guy using it, right? Do you really want a giant hog for your butt? No. It's going to be guys. Yeah, they do. Dudes want giant hogs for the bucks.

100%. If you look at, if you look at sex toys, they're all garnormous. But I think that a lot of people, they're going to buy it because it's you, not because of the you. utility that it provides, right? They won your dick. Yeah, you could sell them like bookends. They're not going to be like, hang it. I want to like 3D scan it.

I've got like a limited one. They make a whole, you know about the clonal willy thing, right? You can buy a kid. Yeah, but I don't know how you stay hard in that thing. Like, I don't even think of that. Yeah, I feel like there's going to be an almost instantaneous moment of clarity where you're like, what the fucking stick in my digging, weird. chemicals. Yeah, I feel like my

dick is immediately not going to go soft. If I've got it like stuck in a plastic tube filled with clay or whatever's inside that thing. If it gets small or assing. I have the most embarrassed. They're going to mail back my little shrilled bag. Fuck.

Now everybody at clonawilly.biz is going to be making fun of me and also I I use my own name. I use my own name. Zach had such a fucking great idea You can do like a you can clone like your ass

You can clone make a fleshlight of your asshole That would be more interesting How did the So it would just be the It would just be the skin part Because otherwise what are they doing Like sticking a balloon in there And blowing it up

Right and wouldn't it get like reshaped As you pulled it out and stuff I don't know how to clone a butt I think you just have to put your best guess out there Yeah That's those that have cloned that like pussy though So it's got a, I just feel like it has to. Oh, I don't think they're actually, like, you know, when you buy Sasha Graves' pussy or something,

I don't think you're getting an accurate representation of the inside. Just the outside. Yeah, it's a mold of the outside. You're getting the visual representation, but they're making it as tight as you want. I mean, if somebody showed me a version of that of my own asshole, I'd be like, that could be anyone. I have no idea. Oh, no. No, there are definitely, I've been with girls who had such ugly assholes.

I wouldn't, I like broke up with them. Well, I mean, but I don't know what my butthole looks like. It's pretty good. Thank you. Let's check it out. Zach will blur it for the crowd. Be quick. I could take a very tasteful photo of it, Tyler.

Yeah, a very tasteful photo. You got a perfect lens. It would be. No, I'd have to do a lot of. a upkeep back there. Well, you know, she's from far away. There'd be some miss, you know, low lighting.

Yeah. Pump little fog in. Definitely a little fog. We won't obscure the view. A tremendous LED lighting. So much you can't even see. Yeah. Yeah, there are definitely more or less aesthetically pleasing assholes. And vaginas. Like, I won't, I won't

fuck with an ugly pussy. You will. You just won't call them back. I literally won't. Like, I won't. I won't. I'm not into it. You're that rude? You'd get the pants off and in that moment you'd be like, I just forgot. I'm sick, go home. I'm going to be honest with you.

And maybe it's just my version of modern dating. I don't remember the last time I slept with a woman where I hadn't seen her pussy before she got to my house. Good point. I guess you do sort of get that out the way beforehand. Like, you're already subscribed to my only fans. You know what it looks like. How much is it? Oh, fuck, I got it.

Funny you ask. I've got a 50% discount on right now. It's like 10 bucks or something with the discount. Okay. I had a, I've been waiting to ask. So you're doing really well, right, with your only fans making money. What have you treated yourself to? Anything cool? Like something you wouldn't buy if you didn't do so well.

Well, a 2,000 pound highsmith fuck machine is pretty up there. I like that one. That's a work expense. Well, they're. all it's hard to justify like personally expenses so I adapt my hobbies to my work like I got really into photography and it's all the business expense baby I can buy a little new camera but like the thing that I've done that's like uh I think the most I think the proper rich person thing would be like getting a chef but I that's that's still up there for me I still want to do

it though yeah what about like nice cars or something just not not something you're going to do I do have a nice car I have like I have a nice car but It's almost a waste of money, nice car. It's a... Where is it? It's a... Oh, God. It's a...

It's a Mayback GLS 600. Yeah! All right. You have a Mayback? Oh my God. The fucking house heard me. What the hell? Jesus.

Well, you did treat yourself. That's awesome. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. It was... You know, when you... You've had, like, a little crash out. this is a Mercedes

is a Maybacker Mercedes yeah yeah yeah okay it's like a it's like the the one that's better than S class and I I got it like there's this weird thing happening with this

and I don't know if I should say this or not but we don't entirely we just recently confirmed that the car was not originally stolen because there's a fucking I gotta tell a story somewhere there's a video on the car's dash camera thing of like people very clearly stealing something from the car like they've

accidentally press recording it would look staged if it wasn't like just something we found on the file system and then like we had to like go confirm that like it's not a stolen car because imagine you buy like a really expensive car and then you just kind of give it back yeah but like it's it's it's not necessarily worth the money I got it I got it during like a the peak of my only fan success. Yeah, well, I mean, you got a car for a long while now and does it have those TVs in the back with that like middle console?

Yeah, but they're not good. They're from like 2006. I don't know. This is a pretty slick car. It's a pretty cool car. Do you find yourself unable to drive well now that you're on estrogen? Our fantasy commission says for him

it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365.

The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know as concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply.

I bet you curb that thing all four wheels. Yeah, things got to. ruined rims yeah no I sit I sit in the back of it I sit in the back of it oh you have a driver I do I like does that work is he just on hand all the time does he live in the place do you have a well he's I met him from I met him on Uber he's great by just like it because it's like the car's like a company car because I but when you ask me about driving I can't fucking drive I don't know how I I can see yeah I can see yeah I could if I wanted to.

I just happened to not right now. Also, like, I got a car insurance quote, and it was like, for me to learn how to drive and buy a car at my age or something, it was like, it would have cost me like 10 grand a year to just insure a shit car. And it costs less than that for like the guy that drives the car to ensure that, like over 100K car. So you do have a license. You learn to drive when you were younger. You just don't do it now. I got a learner's license. I never passed my test.

I can drive. I've driven cars. You're allowed to drive in the UK if there's like someone with you. So I've driven, but like under supervision. This just doesn't compute for any American out there. Our country's too big. You can't not have a license. You need to be able to drive.

If you wanted to go somewhere. It's like $100,000 a year in taxes if you just moved to the U.S. If you wanted to go somewhere, how do you get the driver? Like you said you met him on Uber? Does he like is he in a full-time butler? I don't understand no no no like I will literally just text him and say like hey Because every every trip sort of planned out like I'm never I'm if I want to go somewhere like right now. I just call an Uber because it's it's not It's not like super expensive. I don't leave the house that often and like if I want to go to the shops. I just walk and like I need to go to people's houses like

Bah Very few times I just need I just got a work and back well it's a good thing you didn't blow a bunch of money on a car then yeah that's a good thing I bought a good appreciating asset was there was there a more expensive car that you were looking at before that and you're like you know what no the 180k mayback is what I'm going to go with well the first thing was like I want the best car so I'll get a rolls royce and then I googled the price of them and um nope yeah like 500k minimum and also like you look at rolls royce and that kind of class

of cars. And you do have the right idea. Like, it's not the front driver's seat that you're buying those four. It's like the back, like to be driven around and you're crazy Bentley or whatever it is. Like, that's the point is to get shuttled around. As far as I'm aware, we could sell the car and then the car would cost me like, I think it would like the total cost of ownership would have been like 40,000 or something or 50,000. So it's not too bad. But for a few years of it, Like I couldn't have leased it for less than that, I don't think, which isn't too bad. Maybe. Well, I think you're due for another splurge.

No. We're talking about one of my biggest financial regrets. So I'm embarrassed. Have you considered a boat? No. Maybe one of those channel boats in Amsterdam. That's the mood. One of his houseboats they've got.

Ooh. Red light canal boat. Red Lake canal boat. Yeah. I could have like a big like just a windowed canal boat on one side. I could just all red light. It could be just walking up and down it.

What about like vacation houses? Like if you ever thought about like somewhere in Spain or wherever, Portugal, wherever UK people go the most? Italy. It's expensive to living in. I feel like I'm, it's making it seem like I'm,

I make a lot of money. But like I your tax rate's 45%. At the minimum. That's like just that's without the. That's without national insurance. That's what like I pay an effective 70 something for percent tax rate If you move to a US state that like like there's several years that US states that don't even have state tax Like like you would probably be saving 20% of your income like like yeah have to live in America if you go to Florida I mean I wonder if America they they they

California is going to say bottom certain Portland comes to mind California, there are definitely places that would be more accepting. There are places that be less. Does Oregon have no sale? I was just trying to pick sales tax. I mean, that's big. It's in the UK. I don't think we're escaping like leaving the land of enlightenment and heading toward the land of ignorance.

I know, but in my mind, I was putting her in Florida because it has no state taxes, and I worry that that'd be a bad fit. Oh, not Miami. I was thinking Miami, too, actually, that Miami might be better. Oh, you get a tan then. No, I'm like, I'm palo and cloud. You can see like my, like, veins and my wrist. I'm see through pretty much.

Hmm. I don't mind it. There's also, a cool, my boyfriend. Oh my God. I was like Tony Montana. He's sick. Uh-uh.

You want to this Montana? Yeah. I, like, I, like, just America's just. Do your hair like his sister. Remember she had the big Afro? That big, like, Latino Afro. That was hot. I mean, yeah, but you could, you could splurge on guns if you moved here.

You could. I would fucking love that. Nobody's gonna license how long your blade is over here. You can literally buy it. And look, you have enough money.

You have enough money. You could buy a ranch in Texas and buy cannons and tanks and artillery pieces. You could literally buy a working tank like that shoots artillery shells. Like for what you spent on that Maybach, you could buy a tank.

No shit. Yeah. And then you could drive it around your giant estate in Texas. If you have enough money here, you can get anything you want firearm-related you can get cannons tanks artillery pieces you buy battleship you know you bofer's guns anti-aircraft weaponry flame throwers you buy rockets grenades machine guns i don't think you know what you're talking about karl

yeah but no there's like england's not too too England's not great in terms of like trans stuff, but nowhere is great. There's like, um, but I, I, no one's like, at least socially, like when you're meeting people one on one, everyone's fine. Like, like, people get like a bit of like a, ooh shit, didn't expect that voice, but like, that's it. There was like, there was one, I had like one instance of like a couple instances of like transphobia ever, but I just don't leave the house enough to experience it.

Like in America, I wouldn't. I'd just be in a hotter place in a, in a slightly bigger house that I don't need. No point. Not just slightly bigger. You don't even know. I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah.

I knew a guy with a 7,000 square foot house that's just crazy. For the price of your, for the price of your 7,000, you could probably go 30 or 40,000 here and then add like 15 acres of land. This is this house is 2,000 square foot. Like the, the, I knew a guy in America. What the fuck do you mean? There's the houses that are 30,000 square foot. That's too big. It's too much house.

I agree it's too big, but that's the price, that's the kind of money we're talking about. If you're talking about a $3 million home. Yeah, but I don't think there's anyone in America who makes as much as you do and lives in a 2,000 square foot home. Like that's very much a European thing because you guys don't have as much space. All the houses are older. Like it's no fault of yours. Ship breaks. It does.

Make a house more things to break. That's true. Yeah. There's diminishing returns with the size of a house. Like once you get to a. certain point. It's like you're just creating more areas to vacuum and like climate control. I think I'd go smaller if I was buying mine. Mine's 7,500 and it's a lot. Yeah. It's nice in some ways. It's cool just to have space, like unused rooms in between people just to have space. But,

you know, it's also a lot to clean, a lot to heat, a lot to cool, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. When we got a new roof, like, it's a big deal. It took them a long time to put the new roof on. I have a question. I don't think it's personal. What's your power bill every month? Like 1,100, 1,200 in the summer? Taylor, what's yours?

This year it's been worse than ever because especially in Missouri, it's been like 100 degree. It was 90 plus degrees and it's the very end of September. It's been boiling. But the past few months have all been between 350 and 400. Yeah, same. Keep my house. But that was the highest. It was the highest it had been all year, and it was like $350.

My girlfriend was like, our power bill was high at this month. It was $350. $1,100. Wow. It might be more. I'll text. I don't pay it. The pool thing makes sense.

Like, that is going to. The pool thing, yeah, yeah. That's going to grind that. What is your power bill like? He has high ceilings and 7,500 square feet as well. Yeah, that's a lot. That's electricity cost in your land. Too much.

There was a recent thing where it spiked. and then everyone was like, oh, well, they'll get it down soon. It just never went down. So it's like, I think because I'm really shitty with it, like I'll leave computers on and stuff. I'll like lights, but they'll, I think it's like 800 pounds a month. Oh my gosh. Oh, for a 2,000 square foot house. That's insane.

That is high. You have AC. Like, I'm sure. I have AC in one room. Okay. Yeah, I knew that wasn't comp. That's even crazier. It is.

You're not even air conditioning. the whole house and it's that much no maybe we have hydroelectric and nuclear here it's it's pretty cheap and there's some kind of a georgia power special rate that like not the neighborhood i'm in now but the neighborhood i was in before got and it was outrageously cheap like like our power bill never got above like 120 dollars and that house was i think like 2,800 square feet like it's power's really cheap here compared to i don't know other places you guys got weird man there's so many like laws and shit that it came into effect i just never thought happen like I know we didn't have like um have you heard of the like sort of freedom of speech

thing yes like you can be like there's there's been people that have been arrested for just saying like free Palestine and shit like you can go to del for supporting terrorist organization for saying free Palestine which i would never say it's just i'm saying that free palestine would be like a really bad thing to say no we would never say that either we stand with israel but no like you can just get straight up sent to prison I think it's just wild. Yeah, I saw that. I know they changed the law that...

I was going to say, they changed it super recently. A different law. I was referring to the law where that guy called the police horse gay and was arrested. So they actually changed that law. So now, once again, you can call police horses gay. I think the police horse was wearing some sort of rainbow poncho or something. It was such a stupid story.

A horse wouldn't care. The freedom speech stuff really irks me. because like I think you should be able to say whatever you want. I think that the reason we have freedom of speech laws isn't to protect popular speech. It's to protect the least popular kinds of speech. And if you start whittling away at the, at it, there's this, where do you, where do you end? Where do you end?

You know, like, I don't care if something's offensive to you. I should be able to say whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm not going to yell fire. I'm not going to yell, he's got a gun. I'm not going to yell, everybody gets down. but I should be able to say that like that horse is gay. You you fuckers are manipulating our government from a

foreign country and we're wise to you and it's not going to last much longer. Germany. Those dastardly crouts. You fucking crowd bastards. Their fingers in every pie. You fuck I have you Jerry sons of bishops. We didn't forget

what you did. Can't believe I'm going to go back on. We're going to storm into the Rhineland once more. storm into the Rhineland. We're like the head of NATO. If anything breaks out between us and you fuckers, then we've got to go to the Germans and say, help. That is so funny.

Just like the whole 20th century was like Germany, you know, teeing off with a war. And then clearly the US trying to be like, hey, UK or France or Spain or someone. One of you guys got to get your nose to the grindstone because we destroy these guys every 20, years and they're like still working harder and like building stuff better than you and they're like

yeah definitely this time we're not going to let that happen they did it again the Germans did it again they just too good at making shit man they just love building and they don't have any they don't have any time about it yeah they did have a bee in their bonnet

yeah they don't have any comedians no funny shows they're all just inventing do you think it's the do you think that Germans aren't funny because their culture is a bit dower or do you think it's because their language is built in such a way as to not lend itself toward sort of that certain kinds of humor? Because they just in general seem like a humorless people. Yeah.

And they're known for not loving their kids very much. Like they're just not kind and sweet. And I think that ties in the lack of humor as well. I think it's culture. I didn't know that. I was going to say it's probably largely a stereotype. British humor is dry and very witty. and and the

the humor from like Nordic regions is peculiar. Still dry, but it has a very it's, I don't even know how to describe. I love that kind of humor. From that, you know, the show of Vikings

that we watch, the Viking comedy? I love that. That's sort of tongue in cheek, very dry. No one's laughing at the joke. It's just sort of understated. But the Germans? I've never heard a German joke. Can you speak German?

Just the bad words. That'll do it. And I also don't like that thing that Germans do, where they'll be like, ah, we have a term for that. That's a word in German. It's like, they just, the way their language works, it's just a compound word. It's like saying, oh, yes, we have a term for people who are tailgating you,

and then they pass you and give you the finger. it's called Duchenbachin pulling past and giving finger in and it's like shut the fuck up It's not a word Like I feel like like Norm MacDonald could have been German Like that's the sort of delivery that would have made it funny Yeah just very straight He could have been funny in in any country

You know but that would That would probably be the easiest country Of the major of like powerhouse countries To become a world famous comedian Like I think they're probably starved for it over there, if I'm to believe silly stereotypes you see online. But yeah, maybe there are funny germ because I guess the UK put all those skill points into being like funny and clever and very likable.

And the Germans just autist mode put it all in engineering and like tanks and stuff. That's what they seem to like. Yeah. If they tee off again, we got to shut it down. The British had the better idea though, right? the funny, the putting their scale points into funny and being likable worked out for them. I swear, the second most powerful animal on the planet is the dog because they're by our side, right? If anyone messes with the dog, elephants should not fuck with dogs because people will follow.

That's the case with the UK. Imagine how the world would look different now. If like instead of a lot of that aggressive yelling and like in Hitler speeches, imagine if like he was like walking back and forth, like kind of whipping the mic chord. He's like, and it does a sing about the Jews. Oh, they are always sick. Oh, they're not. Oh, don't get to be started on zeal. They all have allergies.

You notice this? I noticed this. And like, he's just, everyone will be able to know now. Some of his ideas are a little extreme, but that tight five at the Olympics was pretty, that's pretty convincing fellow when you give him a podium. Yeah.

Thank goodness, he didn't have a good sense of humor. I don't think Churchill was very well liked. I don't think he was a very funny guy, not well-liked. You imagine the roast of Adolf Hitler? He's laughing along as Gerbils gives him four. Oh, you guys. I'm calculating how fast I'm getting it canceled on Twitter. I laugh at the Hitler doing stand-up bit.

Well, I mean, a fictitious version of Hitler that did stand-up would have been more dangerous. whole point. We looked at. A more charismatic Hitler could have been a real problem for us. If he hadn't gotten into the Parkinson's and the methamphetamine, he'd have been much more likable, I think.

He needed a cryptocurrency. Oh. You get into that. You can get into that. That seems like a good idea. What would her coin be called? Clitty coin. There's no way that's not already taken.

Fuck you, Kyle. It's disarming how much you know about like random kink things every now and then. I know about all of the kink things. There's no kink I am not familiar with. I find it fascinating. Kyle knows everything about everything. He's told you. What's the capital of North Dakota? Pismarck. Hell yeah. See? My God. What's your credit card number?

The last... It's AMX, so it's longer, so... Did you see how fast I perked up? before when you're like, you can fuck belly buttons. I was like, oh, new. Oh, my God. Holy shit. It's brand new to me. Oh, absolutely. I've heard of like kinks where. I've seen like devian artwork of like an OC being like flattened like flat Stanley. Do you have flat Stanley? Yes, I had flat Stanley. Fuck yeah, Taylor. Yeah. Like that's a whole kink. Like people like, I've seen people like hot anime girls like flat Stanley drenched over like clothing lines like, oh.

Oh, like those old weed commercials. Oh my god, anything like that. Exactly like that. Just like with their feet out and stuff. So their fetishes that they want to be flat or they want to flatten someone and then like... I have no idea. I think some of them you just... Some kings pass you by.

Like sometimes I'm super into like, why is that? Like I have no idea why the guy wanted to see my tonsils before. I'm really interested. But like, I don't... No one's really able to... Yeah, if you can explain your kink, I think it gets much less fun Mm-hmm if you can give a psychological reason behind it Kind of lose this charm yeah, then you probably would start self-analyzing

Well, like I imagine like because there's so many kinks that are like I don't know like you'll have like life like king's born from life Kings born from trauma like oh course like a big thing I think being like aware of like like oh no I like like like You like being humiliated? Yeah. Well, personally? Yeah. Sure. I can go for that.

It's because you are humiliated before and you've, your psyche has found a way to reverse it and make it a thing of pleasure rather than a thing of pain. It's a defense mechanism. It's weaponizing your trauma into sex. What if it's self-hatred? What if it's a different avenue? Oh, yo, what was that, who was that senator lady whose boyfriend was like a, who's a, husband was like a sissy or something like Bimbo? got the guy who was wearing the big fake booze yeah yeah i dude that my my theory on all of that is like

well i don't think this is every single time obviously i think there are just people with like some crazy kings but the i've seen so many people that fall into the line of like they get turn on from cross-dressing just because they're in like a situation where like let's say they're trans and they just can't come out and then it turns into like the whole trauma thing of like repressing it and it turns it's like you've got to cope with it somehow and then it becomes like this fucked up fetish and like I can have some sympathy for it but it is very it's very funny it was comical as hell

because what he was wearing was goofy it looked like balloons he didn't have like a breastplate or even like some Amazon falsies uh like he didn't he had like balloons in there like it was such a and he then he took up he must have been looked in the mirror seen himself and been like got it this is good

this is good nailed it if they would have said when you look in the mirror he looked in the mirror and felt the same way you feel when you look in the mirror like

nailed it would you fuck me you fuck me I fuck me I fuck me I fuck me like if he he would have

it was such an absurd look that if immediately he was like we had an offensive costume party maybe it was in poor taste I would have been like that actually makes more sense to me

than that he's because like the picture of him wearing those he wasn't even wear it was like wearing like a regular Abercrombie shirt and he was looking as his face was as if he was looking at like a page of Excel like what am I going to have for lunch like that's like it was just it didn't mesh as though he was like having a good time it's silly to me it if he feel like he could have played it off I've been like look I was trying on goofy Halloween costumes here let me show you a few more clips and he had like a montage of him and progressively sillier costumes I'd be a great PR guy. I could have saved that guy's fucking career. That's what he needed to do. Let me show you what was going on. It was Halloween 2019. I went through a lot of goofy ideas.

Let me show you a slide show here. He's like a dinosaur with little arms. And he's like little red riding hood in one of them and his wife's the big bad wolf. Like he could have played that off. He didn't look like he was trying to be trans. It looked like he was just being silly. I like the idea of the RPR firm, Kyle.

where like this is going to be tough. You've dug us quite a hole, but we do have a silver bullet. You're not going to like it. You're going to have to do black. No one's going to remember the other stuff. You're going to have to do it. Look, listen, listen, I'm not any happier about it than you. But, you know, I'll grab the shoe polish.

Way out of you. Come here. This is like, that's why you pass the big bucks. It's mohogany brown. good there are like those specific specific types of people like the that that that person's husband or whatever that are like I think that's not someone that's like pretending to be or trying to be trans they're like it's like the the humiliation of like dressing like a woman or something which is why I think it was like so

bad I've such I've such a problem with the have you've been to like a convention like an anime convention or something I have that went to VidCon ah there's usually that'll work there's usually groups of guys that were like just made dresses or something. Like just Amazon made outfits and they never shave their fucking legs and it annoys me to no end. I'm holding up that fucking gender stereotype or whatever.

Shave your legs. Put some effort in. If that guy had shaved this beard full beta makeup on, that would have saved it. That could have been the PR thing. Like I was doing drag and I was fucking good at it. Sometimes costumes are so bad. They're funny. So I'm split. Where, you know, if you really don't give a fuck

the guy still has like a beard. That's kind of funny. but you know he's also I guess this would be a form of stolen valor which again I'm fine with I have a hat that says I'm a veteran I actually have two hats that say that the one you sent me and then I won

I wore on here many years ago that said World War II like all were called only some served like veteran legally speaking I am a veteran why don't you do like a live stream experience where they can pay to operate like a sex machine that'll be cool. It's because I'm just not at that level yet I'm interpreting but that'd be sick.

Yeah. That's that's the move right there. I remember when ice Poseidon did that with his not literally that, but he had a robot that you could pay to control to like mess with the contestants and that thing made enormous amounts of money. Just people paying to control. They wanted to upskirt the girls and I think they would sometimes they would duct tape a steak knife to it. So they would jokingly chase people around with the little robot like trying to stab them. But people paid an enormous. amount of money just to drive that thing around. You could just do the upskirt thing. If you were just like cleaning your house and they got to control a robot to spy on you, that I'd make the sick money too. Controlling it's better. I think fish tank just taped a bunch of knives to a room, but. Do you have a lush?

A lush? A lush. What does that mean? Finster, you don't know what a lush is? I don't. It's a sex toy and there's a tie-in that like chatterbate works with it and stuff like that. They can make it vibrate. Yeah, that makes plugs.

I do have that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've got tons of these. Okay. Oh, so you could, you could charge for that and be like $20 to turn this setting on or turn this setting off or whatever. Yeah, you can go peer to peer like close range or like global. You know, I can control her like toy, like the pattern and exactly what it does. And it's got a lot of features. Interesting.

Utilizing the blockchain, of course. Yes, of course. I still don't know what that means. That's great. Now, I don't use any blockchain involved with vibrating assholes globally, but... Sadly, be so much harder. Yeah, it's really powerful. The things are tremendous.

I see a lot of, like, live stream girls using them, and, like, people are paying to control those things. I think I'll, like, every now and then I'll get, like, a fun custom or something that's like that. Like, I've done, like, the control vibrate thing, but I've never had someone else do it. That'd be cool. I don't know how much they pay to, I don't know, fucking set it to a hundred for however long. Yeah, you'd have to charge a good bit because you don't want to get 40 seconds into that and be like, fuck, this sucks.

What's a minute of a vibrator in your ass worth, Taylor? Uh, I don't think I'd pay more than $20. Like, what would I have to pay you or? How much would I have to pay you to top? Like, vibrators in your ass, someone turns it on. Someone gets control of it. I was going to pay you. You've got this wrong.

Yeah. I mean, okay, I'll also take, I'll take bids. Sure. No, it should just, it should be highest bidder. Like, like, it would be one of those things where if there were a live stream, like you would want the person, you want them to bid. Who gets to control the toy for 10 minutes? And then you try to do normal things.

That's what they want. They don't want you to be like, ooh, ah. They want you to be like trying to put together a Lego Star Wars. You have to do like you're trying to assemble the death star and and you've got like you've got the lush plug in and they're zaping you. Oh, they also, you could also get one of those electro chastity cages so they could zap your dick. Holy shit. Wait. Okay. Very like pleasure and pain. I guess you'd need both. Like yeah. If you're doing good or bad in your task. Oh my God. Yo, like that like someone could like a warmer or colder if you need to find something in your room. So we've already established that these cages are getting absolutely doused in piss,

and now there's an electricity element. Yeah. There's even some that don't have like a locking mechanism. They're just electrical. Like you have to use an app to open and close them. You have to charge it with a C cable. So now you've got a battery around your penis that's getting wet all the time. Yeah.

Can imagine if that fucking battery went off, like a cell phone battery? Like, you know, they'll be like... Oh, no. It's like a welding arc on your cock. It's going to burn a hole straight into your colon and kill you or something. Just eat right through your body. That's scary. I think you're a little too intense for Finn's ambitions here.

She'll get there. I'll get there. With the shocking? Well, I, well, I'm, listen, the stuff I'm into, we haven't, like, we haven't actually hit that on the page yet, I don't think. Or at least, like, the stuff. Oh, on your page. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I think something happens when you do this type of work where like it's not like my interest got more extreme I just got a lot more okay with them. You know what I mean? No go on

Like I don't know like I liked I always like I liked a little bit of like you know handcuff me or something like that like that's yeah, but that's what I mean But then progressively over time it's like okay fucking time you to the ceiling. It'll be fun Do the ceiling how about face slapping the assets would you do anything like cultural as far as the bullying where like there's almost like a Thomas Shelby guy where he's like oh well wet you up brother

you're wet you are yeah I mean just gonna get that is something they'd say yeah I think I can't remember the quote he's like only thing you wet is your pants young man you got your mouthwash muddle up with cat piss like what's that movie it's the gentleman

that Guy Ritchie movie have you seen that yeah I have not I was trying to think of a good pun for the peeky blinders for your content what about the peeky binders and you're wearing those those things that keep your boobs down about a being yeah and I don't know how that would actually

dovetail into like picking out or something like you have like a bunch of straps or something like you can just see a bit of tity yeah a bit of a bit of a peepee bit about but over time you get far too into the character now that's what you're into I need to like just I'll hire Kyle for like just ideation just come up with a bunch of fucked up sex routine stuff and I'll just like film it I'm I'm an absolutely I'm at your Beck and call you know just let me know he'd like to be at your cock and balls oh I'm full of ideas you know I'm creative That's what I do.

I've got all sorts of ideas and plans and plots. Just full of ideas to fill me with. Yeah. Yeah, I work cheap too. Oh my God, okay. You work free? Something like that. She works for access to the page.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. I'm going to need to be a VIP access. I'm going to need to like oversee all the private videos that are going out. More of a quality control than anything else. I don't even worry about that. I want to be the guy.

that replies to your fans or thinks they're talking to you. I don't want that job. That job's got to be fucking awful. Could I do that job? I think, I think anyone go to your only fans right now. Find a. Let's see what Woody would reply back. We don't have to send the guy to reply because that that seems wrong.

But I'm curious what someone, I'm curious what someone said to you. And then I'm curious what Woody would reply back. back with just for our own shits and giggles. I'm so in. I'm doing this. Hold on. Let me because I've had to like I've stopped for a bit for this. Didn't expect my bluff to be called so quickly. I would just want to know what you said.

I'd be like I'd be like wasting their time. I'd be like don't get me stuff. I had the bears minus six and a half. They just furious or stupid shit. They do just talk about whatever the fuck. It's kind of great to just have like normal conversations with people sometimes. They're trying to build enough rapport with you that you're finally like, you know, I know that up until now everything's been very transactional and I really like, I really like you.

Can we just get off of this app and like, could you get me up on WhatsApp or Snapchat real quick? Immediately banned. You would be? Oh, yeah. No, you can't do that. Really? Anything that's like prostitution, like anything that can go off the app. I was suggesting that at all.

I was suggesting like, like, you being into them and like, like, wanting to meet them and, like, be their girlfriend. You can't even say the word meet. You can't type it. Wow. I know that people do that, though, because, like, there's that faint Reddit, like, mocked the guy endlessly. Who, like, some only fan shake. She's like a fucking 10. Like, just imagine a big boobed, like, beautiful blonde chick that's 24 years old.

She's, like, had a meet up with my, with my biggest only fans contributor. and it's like he's like a you know like an average looking chubby guy who's kind of tall and he's like standing next to her kind of like an Adams family butler or something like that and she's like $10,000 well spent

like he spent $10,000 and but the comments are like he clearly fucked her that's why they're in a hotel room the bed is like musted up behind them and then like months later I guess he saved up another 10 grand and you could tell she's like another meet up with my biggest fan and you could tell

he's lost weight and I'm like he's trying to make this real he's trying to become a guy that she won't charge for the third meeting or the fourth meeting yeah I mean she's gonna get banned from only fans right she's gonna kill the goose that laid the golden egg

I think that there's like a there's a reason as well I don't I don't but that's just because I'm lazy I really should automate that what are you talking let me do your fans leave for you what the fuck are you doing I'll work deep wouldn't it just cannibalize the existence No, it's a whole new audience that we could explore together.

To get, where you're the same user base on both sites. I'm trying to find you... It's a different user base. I'm trying to find you a DM that you could possibly respond to, but I'm realizing like the way conversations get left are fucking insane every time. Like the... Hold on. How would you respond to this, Woody? Okay.

Good girl. Do you don't need that tiny dick anyway. lock it up. You should be like, rude. It's sometimes just... You can't tell at all. No indication. You get like a username.

You know that they've like verified everything, but like you don't get shit. There's no audience stance. Yes, sir. It's locked up. I'm on it. Thank you. And how can I charge for that somehow? I guess that was very creative. I lost interest halfway through.

You lost interest. You wouldn't be good at this job. No, probably not. I took a selfie today of me wearing the cage. So I'm going to send like a $5 unlock thing. And I'm going to say like, guess what I did if you want to find out. That's what I will do. Easy five spots.

You should be like not in the mood. I put five. grand on the Phillies and these bastards are eating my lunch. You occasionally I'll occasionally I'll respond. Oh my God. Speaking to that, raise up 6-2 in the middle of eight. I do need it. I'm only 23 hours into October. I can't wait to use these keys, right? Maybe send a picture. Yeah. Oh my God. He doesn't, I haven't sent him a website, the live stream.

Yeah, he needs to see it. This is so big. This guy's going to Get milk for everything's worth. I can't see. Oh, I have so. Oh, Finn. Finn, I have another money-making idea. Yeah. What if they could donate to make that timer go up?

Oh, like a shop-a-thon. Or... What if they could donate to make that timer go up? Now, a dollar amount per minute that it goes up. Maybe, like... Something like that. Like, but I would need... I would almost need some other way of securing those keys

if I'm going to donate to something like that. I don't know. You need a way to verify. You need a content creator key holder. Like another only fan's person who could like make kind of like, I got Finn's cock right here. And like that'd be fun. I do just feel like you're trying to self-inset into this somehow. Not at all.

I do want to run your fans. No, all jokes aside, it's crazy you're not doing that. So low effort and it's another six figures for it in your pocket. Don't know why you're not just paying someone to do that. Yeah. It's cross post. It's Mayback money. Oh, my God.

I'm sure there's a like an easy way to cross post and like make it almost effortless. Taylor, this bitch can't even get a Rolls Royce and she's not doing Fansley. I see a lack of ambition. Okay. My God. You're not going to get a Gulfstream with this attitude. All right. And you're not even responding to this poor, this poor king.

I will. The thing that I'm looking for is like a quality Finn sub and I'm like not like not Finn. Are you aware of Finn? Doming? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's just being like a dumbass send me money and he's like, yes, please. I don't understand fin doming. I would it would hurt my feelings if someone like tried to fin dom me. I'm yeah that a dude would willingly be fin domed is it's financial domination of people probably everyone knows this though and like be like what? Like that's how you see me as a wallet like it yeah I am totally turned off by that but I know that other people are not. I just I can't it might be the thing that turns me off the most. Like, even out of like weird shit, like that more than anything. You touched on it. It would hurt my feelings.

It would really hurt my feelings to be like, for that to be the thing. And not in a good way. Like, like, there are good ways to hurt feelings. You know what I mean? Like, that ain't one of them. That's, that would be me. I don't like that at all. The closest approximation. You know what they call those guys, Taylor? You know.

Husbands. Finn. Classic. Pay pigs. Pay pigs. I've heard that before. I can't believe I didn't think about it. Oh, man. I'd be good at running one of those operations. Oint for me, pig boy. Pay, pay, pay. Anyone could be good at that job. It's just being rude and demanding money. Yeah, it is. But I think you got to be creatively cruel because, like, that's what they want you to really dig deep if they're into that. You got to be mean. Yeah, you got to be good at it. You got to be mean. Yeah, you got to be good at it. You got to be mean. Someone who's good at it can get. You can be mean. Someone who's good at it can. Someone who's good at it can. get inside the mind of a pay pig and understand what they're looking for and give it to them. That's not me. I don't get this fetish.

That's such a good quote. If I was like going through my YouTube shorts and I got like began and ended with just that quote. And like I would take it as like, I guess that guy does a pay pig only fans. He's in defend them. Cool. What a chat. What a chat. Do they get off on like you on the person wasting the money where it be like, Hey, dumbass. Send me $40. I'm going to blow it on a nine leg parlay. Like right? No, they love that. I they they would like this there's categories right. Like you said about the like you would hurt your feelings like to be reduced to like a wallet. That's yeah all separate like people people like people like people want to be seen as just like you are worthless besides the money you give me to see my toe. You know like that's what some people want. And then the other side of it is like the like some people just like you are worthless. Like. Like some people just.

want to have like a hey i'm going to get my nails done pay for it you're not even going to like i'll send you a photo like during or something like give me a 150 bucks and they i just i can't fat it would be like being like oh my fetish it's where i order what i want at the restaurant and then i watch you eat it would be like no that's that's that's that's horrible that why would you inflict that upon yourself so you should definitely get one of these too so this is a robo spanker okay let these It's like one of these fucking like Futurama devices you've been linking all night. Oh yeah. Whoa.

Yeah. Yeah. But blistering spanks. That's a lot. $700. Regular spanks are free. It's literally going to pay for itself in 30 seconds. Yeah.

This is like a copy. This is like a, this is like buying a new copy machine for your fucking paper company. This is, you know what I mean? Like, like, we need this.

We, we, Kyle, I'll send you a contract for fuck's like. You can tell. You can tell it's good because of the missing. I don't want to end up in Locktobery with you. Everyone at the company has to partake.

I'm sorry. Oh my God. That would be so funny if your whole company's locked up for Locktober. That's in their contract. Yeah. I think the companies in one of those big cumbersome ones. Whenever I see those, it's like, what are we doing? There's no way you're wearing that thing.

You ever see the ones for the ladies that go up over the hips with the big padlocks and stuff? Less efficient than a cock coach. did you buy this this robo spanker Kyle because I don't have a robospancer they put all their money into research and development and none of it into proofreading missing periods missing punctuation runoff sentences incorrect usage of yore terrible shop I do not have a spanking machine though I got some got some paddles some logs and such and they don't know the word, the intensities can be adjusted from a love tap to a powerful blistered

leaving blows. Fuck, yeah. Dude, there's a place near me. Speaking of like blistering and shit. There's a place near me that's like a 30 minute drive away. That website advertises like people being hung up by being

like their back being sewn. Yeah. Do they use the wrong yore? I don't see. It says it can deliver a spank to you while you are standing in front of it while you're possessive. There it is. Yeah, it is. Tis suspension plays so gross to me.

Wait, what type? What type? Any kind. Okay, if it's like, what's the Japanese kind? I can't. Shabari. That's fine. I'm quite the Boy Scout.

I could tell. I know I'm not. Yeah. You're like like an outfit out of knots. They're great. Oh, I know. I'm aware. Um, like a full out like, like, I know.

Oh my God. I can't imagine what he rope on is not. I'd look like a Paulday ham. You look like a turkey ready for mock. I'd like look in the mirror and I'd be like, not, not today. You look better on a lady. You know, it's very like form accentuating when you, when you get it tied around their like tits and ass and everything.

That's fine. It's the hook play. Like we had a, we've got an old friend, a YouTuber guy, a filthy robot. And he had done that shit. And he seemed like, I knew he wasn't exactly vanilla. I knew he was a little quirky, but he was like, oh yeah, I've been suspended.

What the fuck are you talking about? They put those giant hooks in his back flesh. And he's like hanging from him. That's what I'm talking about. They use these big stainless steel fish hook looking things. And they put like four to six of them in their back. back skin and then they are suspended off the ground. And in some instances, they're like spun, like around and around.

There's this Native American ritual that involves like spinning them and stuff and having like a whole spirit vision. But a lot of these guys are just in it for the love of the game. It's wild. It took three weeks to heal from that. It's like, yeah. I'd be so afraid my flesh would tear. Oh, that's upsetting.

Oh. Yeah, that was six folks. You'd be all right. Have you heard of? I might need eight. Imagine just hypothetically, pretending I had the grip strength. And if I were to hold your shoulder blades and lift you, your skin wouldn't rip and tear, right? Like, I don't think I could do it.

But like, hypothetically, your skin wouldn't rip. I wouldn't have chunks in my hand while you fell. No, it's stay. Yeah. But the hooks are like in there. And I'm worried that, like, the edges are, are very, going to, I don't even want to talk about it. It's upsetting me a little bit. I'm starting to like bad, sleeping in your ears or something. I'm sort of like squirming in my own shoes thinking about it,

you know? Anyway, that's a fetish that I, is a absolute, anything with blood or shit. I'll piss on you if you want. Not you specifically, but I mean, you know, I will. But like, I always wondered. Taylor. But jellyfish stung you. Yeah, that's what I mean. Of course. Like, that's all fine and good. But, hey. Like blood or poop. It's like like you've gone too far. Yeah.

You need a like a pilot cleanse with your fetishes so you can circle all the way right back around. A little tolerance break where you just have missionary sex for a month. Missionary with the wife, full eye contact, smooching her real good, tell her you love her. You need a couple months of that. You need a detox. I'm squelming around in my safe place as well. Do you think the guy that invented that jellyfish bullshit was just kinky as hell and wanted

to pee on people. I think that was bullshit. A complete prankster. He's like, I can't believe people are doing this. Would ammonia neutralize the jelly stick? I mean, I don't know. I'm not a... Like if I had real ammonia from the kitchen sink or all?

Meat tenderizer or something you're supposed to use. I forget what you're supposed to put on it that works. I think if it's one of the serious jellyfish, you just die. Yeah. Yeah. I would have... No, ammonia doesn't help. I would have totally let Carl piss on my wherever.

if I got a Not too late. Yeah, I would have. I was convinced until right now. I hydrate. Just throwing that out there. No. It would just be like a regular shower, not even golden.

Nothing but coffee for three days leading up. It's literally a full of coffee. Is it? Time is it? Meat tenderizer is no longer recommended. It is a thing that they used to say, but it's not anymore. Rinse with seawater, never freshen. tap water. Now is that just because

you're near the sea? I don't know. The Jersey jellyfish just make you itchy and they work equally well when they're dead. Getting dead jellyfish in your wetsuit is like the worst. I have no jellyfish experience. I guess I've seen those bioluminescent ones. Yeah, Kyle. Yeah. Well, let's wrap it up there.

Vincent, where can they find you? Oh, Google my name and then keyword search, cock. And then you can see all you need to see. I'm on it. PKK 824.