Painkiller Already - PKA 827 W/ Christopher Michaels: Lied To And Lured, He Barely Escaped

Episode Date: October 24, 2026

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Our guest is here just sorting out some tech issues, Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Lock and Load, everything at Gorilla Mind and our wonderful merchandise, all linked below. You guys were excited about some basketball news. which shock you. We have to start with basketball. I was trying to have a good attitude about it, Kyle. It's my idea.

It was my idea. Like we were just talking before we started. Now, explain what's happening as if I have no idea. Dude, so I'm a Sixers fan I grew up in the area. They were hopeless, right? They were good enough to like barely make. the playoffs and look like they would stay there for the next 18 years. They're just, we didn't have many future draft picks.

There was no future. And our present was mediocre. Not awful. Awful would give us a future, but mediocre. And then somehow we had the best off season in basketball. And we picked up, among others, LeBron James. The night starts off and we play the New York Knicks, the defending champions. They put the banner up and then Philly whoops their ass.

Now, I'm a new basketball fan, but if I understand the rules correctly, that means we're the champs now. You're the lineal champs. We're pretty proud. Yeah, yeah. We have the belt, the basketball belt. You should have taken the rings. That would have been. All joking aside, Zach, will you pull up a photo perhaps of the Knicks championship ring?

Because I don't follow this stuff. I know Super Bowl rings get really sick. But their championship ring is incredibly cool. It's cool. I didn't know where we were going. I haven't seen it. And like, and extends upwards to create Madison Square Garden where of course they play. It doesn't light up the way it was originally shown to. I think that was just a little CGI. People were thinking maybe it's going to light up. Maybe this thing's got fucking batteries or nuclear. It shouldn't light up or something. That's cheap.

And of course, it's encrusted with diamonds. It has their record through the playoffs in each playoff series, you know, how quickly they finished. everything it's all gold and encrusted but the the fact that the middle of it sort of removes and extends upwards I think is it's like cool little feature I know a couple years ago is somebody made one where the whole ring part like came off and you had a big pendant that you could then wear around a necklace and then there's one that had another ring inside of it so you basically had two rings like a different ring slid out of it that was also a fancy ring I had heard about the ring but I couldn't I didn't bring myself to like, oh, you're the Knicks got to bring. Nobody cares about that. Close the tab. So I haven't seen it yet.

There was a baby about it. But yeah, I watched the game. I was saying earlier, I've watched about 10 NBA games in my life because, you know, racism. But I remember back to the day I watched Jordan play for the Wizards because I knew that like, even as a young, I was probably 14 or something when he's playing for the Wizards. But even then I was like, that's Michael Jordan. And this is probably the last time he'll ever play. And I remember watching him. He did okay.

And I wanted to watch LeBron James come out at 41 and try to lead an army of mercenaries to the championship this year. And if he wins the ring, if he wins his own spaceship ring that takes off and launches like Elon Musk's car or something like that, I'm still going to say that, like, this isn't the same kind of ring that Jordan was winning for all. those years because he stayed in one place and he did the thing. And LeBron is like this mercenary agent. And he's with Blackwater now because they're a, and they're poised for a victory. And I think that says more about his marketability and his lawyers and the Sixers lawyers than it does about LeBron James Legacy. But I did watch him play and he scored like 14 points or something like that.

And it was a fun game to watch. That's not very good, is it? Is 14 good? It's not, but his role is not to be the leading score. His role is sort of floor general. And Bede scored like 14, too, you know, like the high score was this 25 year old kid that I didn't know. Maxie. Yeah, dude, Maxie is the coolest guy.

He's like perpetually in a good mood. He's always smiling. He's like a mood lifter in the locker room. Everybody loves him. He was not highly regarded as when he was first drafted. And he's kind of earned his way into this all-star position. and now he might be Philly's leading score this year. He was last year, I think, but Embed had injury issues.

The team is super exciting. And if we avoid injuries, and there's at least a 1% chance that that will happen, then we might be, we're in that short list of who could win the title. The more likely outcome is someone gets hurt. But for right now, we're the champions. I was just looking up the championship trophy for the NBA, because I couldn't remember what it was. And you know hockey and basketball Woody,

so I think you would have the best potential opinion. I think the NBA is leaving a lot on the table with their current trophy. I think they could really improve, make it more impressive. It's too simple. It's just a little kind of oblong thing with an off-kilter basketball on it. It looks like a tournament, summer tournament trophy. Like it should be big. It should be massive.

It should be huge. I think you're right. I think that if you compare it to the football one, it's competitive, you know, that neither of them are great. I think you're spoiled by what might be the best trophy in all of sports across the entire planet, the Stanley Cup. And the way they do that I think everybody knows they have, is it five layers and like underneath the cup? And everyone, every winner gets their name on it. and then when it fills up, they just take the bottom part, put it in the Hall of Fame, make a new one and keep it going.

And I, no one comes close, I don't think. Yeah, I think it's the, and I like the history of like the 1969 Stanley Cup winner or whatever is on there. And he can't, like the machine, like the milling machine to put everyone's names on it broke, the O broke. And so there's like a whole year of Stanley Cup winners where everyone with an O in their name is just a Q. Because at the time, they were just like, whatever.

They didn't have an 0 or zero. And so they just replaced it with Q. But Chris, can you hear us okay? Everything coming here? I can't for now. I got a whole new computer and everything, but it wouldn't be a visit here if I didn't have audio trouble. Exactly.

Once again, came in and elbow dropped it. Yeah, thank you. I left my phone on so my earbud was connected to my phone and not this thing. And, you know, it's just technical stuff. This is why I drive cheap cars because I just don't have the technological aptitude for success. You mentioned a run-in with a lesbian recently. Oh, my gosh.

Weirdest adventure. So working at Mass Off Road Recovery is an awesome job, and I hang out my friends and do cool things in beautiful places. But every now and then, it just goes completely off the rails, and that will just be these really wild side quests. So a couple months ago, we had one of the volunteers from the big,

event we put on the off-road games come by the shop. And she's a nice lady. She's, you know, we have a lot of volunteers that come and help with parking cars and tickets and things like that. And, you know, they get in free for helping out, that sort of deal. She's nice lady. Super interesting. She's like got, she's, I don't know, he's probably in early 60s.

She's got like, at the time had like pink braids. And she was in the middle of a divorce from this MMA fighter or MME or whatever the girl's version of like MMA fighting is. They were in the middle of a divorce. And she was there with her new boyfriend. She had sworn off girls, had her new boyfriend. He didn't talk much, but he looked like Santa Claus. And she said, I've got this motorcycle, and I'm on oxygen now, and I'm moving to Durango, Colorado.

And I'm stressed out because I don't know how I'm going to get my motorcycle to Colorado. Well, it turned out in like two weeks, we were going to Durango, Colorado for a job. So we're like, hey, no problem. We'll just go out on the trailer, bring it to you. Problem solved. She's like, that would be amazing. So she drops the bike off. Cool.

about a week later the cops show up and they serve us with papers like the motorcycle is now tied up in this divorce between these two chicks and like we've got been court order to not move it off the property and it can't go anywhere we can't touch it whatever so we're like great now we've got plenty of room with the shop and it's not a big deal but you know on a major YouTube channel you guys know it's like if you get hauled into court that's everybody's time that's time off fulfillment I mean that could cost $100,000 to just be in court for a day, testifying over this motorcycle. So we're like, great, this is a pain. So a month or two goes by, we just pushed around the yard. It's still there. Well, the lady, the volunteer lady calls up,

and she's like, good news. The paperwork expired on the motorcycle. I can get it off your property. We're like, great. We're off the hook on the lawsuit. So like an hour later, she calls. And she's like, hey, bad news. She's refiling the paperwork.

But the papers aren't going to get served until tomorrow morning. Now, this gave us approximately 12 hours to get this motorcycle off the property. Now, this is 36 hours before the Smash & Dash 250, which is this like three-day event we're putting on outside of Salt Lake City. I mean, we had off-road racing. I was racing like cheap cars on motocross tracks. I mean, car show drifting off-road. This is like a million-dollar event.

So this is 36 hours to go time. And we're like, we've got to get this motorcycle to Durango, Colorado. So, like, I left my apartment that morning thinking I was going home in the evening. turns out somebody has me the keys to a U-Haul truck. They're like, get in this truck, drive it to Durango, Colorado, which is like 13 hours away, drop this motorcycle off and get it out of our hair before we get dragged back into this lawsuit. I bet, I got you. So I get in the truck and I take off, and it's cool.

It's a road trip across the desert. I'm like driving through Monument Valley at dawn, hitting four corners. It's the most gorgeous part of North America. It's incredible. So I get to like Colorado and like there's like the leaves are changing. So there's a bunch of fall traffic. I'm kind of getting slowed down. So I messaged the lady.

I'm like, hey, I'm running a little bit behind. She's like, hey, no problem. We'll have a cheesecake here for you when you get here. I'm like, okay, sure, 30-hour round trip, cheesecake. That'll work. Get snack on the way home. So. Did she try to frame that really anonymously?

No, no, not at all. I mean, the impression I got was it was her and her family or friends or whoever was sitting around and they had a cheesecake and they were going to send me home to cheesecake. And I was like, okay, great. I like cheesecake. Sure. Store bought.

homemade where they I know I had no idea that turned out not even to be a cheesecake so oh this is this is

this is just the setup so I get a little closer and she texts to me she's like hey I'm not actually at the address I gave you

I'm a little bit past Durango like okay great so she gives me the new address it's three and a half hours past Durango which you know

that's another seven hours into like this very very short she looks in like Reno like exactly Oh, yeah. And I'm going from like west to ace at this point. Yeah. So I'm like, okay, great. So I get to that, I get closer to that address. And she messaged me again. And she's like, I'm actually not at that address either. I am at the UFO watchtower outside of Hooper, Colorado. And I need you to bring the bike there. I'm like, whatever, sure. I just need to get this bike.

So she's like, okay, she's like, when you turn it off the highway, go past the alien beacons and any of the watchers who are out there, pull up to the log. cabin and honk the horn three times. What? And I'm like, okay, there's a UFO watchtower, the log cabin, I'm in tree, sure, whatever, let's do it. So I get there and I turn off the highway and I pull up and I honed the horn. And she comes around like from behind the cabin. There's like a camper behind the cabin.

And she walks around now. She's gotten rid of the big long, um, the big long purple dreadlock, which turned out to be extensions. I thought those were like dreadlock and braids of hers. They were like extensions. Wow. She's just not an honest person. Oh, yeah.

Now she's got these like iridescent white ones that like pretty much shuts the ground now. And to be fair, I'm kind of picking her a little bit. She's a really sweet lady, but she is certainly like a spectacle. This sounds like she tricked you into a lot of work. And then she lied. Yeah, kind of. Yeah.

I mean, there's definitely another like eight hours of driving. About the distance. I have a question. Yeah. Because if if I were you in the situation, I'd be getting scared on the second redirect. Do you have a gun with you for all this? Oh, well, absolutely. Oh, okay.

We're good. Oh, I'm from Atlanta. I'm kind of strapped. I bet she was too. Oh, yeah. I've got the primary and the backup just in case. But now, she's a sweet lady, and there was nothing, no violence implied. But, yeah, so it's like a drug deal, though.

She's like moving the, moving the date, moving to time. But I get there and there she is. And she's an interesting lady. She's very, very, very pretty face. But she's built like a Christmas tree. Like, like she's about four foot 11. and everything on her just sort of goes from like the top of her head. She wears like like hip hop clothes.

So she wears those like giant pants with like the huge legs that like three people could fit in. So like like she can honestly have like tentacles underneath there. Like I wouldn't know. Like she's just like like it like she's just built like this triangle. Sounds like a creative character. Oh yeah. Yeah.

He's built. He's built. He's a pyramid. Oh, yeah. She's a scrubby bubble. Like who knows. So so she walks around the. truck and she sees me and she kind of has this very like somewhat shocked kind of look at her face she's

like it's you and i was expecting she probably figured it was going to be mad or somebody like more famous from the channel showing up i'm kind of the new guy anyway so i only met her once so i'm like yeah it's me she goes we're going to come back to that i'm like okay sure so i'm like let me get your bike and loaded she's like well hold on come inside first let me feed you and i'm yeah i've been in the truck for like 14 hours i'm like yeah sure let's do it so go inside and we go into the cabin and the first thing I noticed inside the cabin is that no cheesecake. A,

A, no cheesecake. B, it's like an A frame. Like the ceiling and the walls and the floor and every surface in this cabin is covered with taxidermied animal heads. Except the middle of the main room where there was this like recliner with this old lady, like very old. I would thought she was dead.

because she was motionless, but she just had this, like, completely alarmed look on her face, just kind of frozen, just staring off, like kind of like Large Marge and Peewee's Big Adventure. She's just staring kind of off into space.

And she just walks right, the lady I'm with just kind of walks right past this lady. I kind of skirt a little wide around her because she looks like she might like spring in any moment. Yeah, exactly. So I'm waiting for the jump scare from this lady. So we go to the kitchen. And it turns out it was an auto-correct issue.

It was a cheese steak, not cheesecake as her auto-corrected done. Whatever, I like cheesecake too. So she microwaves the cheesecake. And I made the cheesecake. And she's like, I want to play my song for you. I'm like, okay, you make music? She's like, yeah.

Like, okay, so she gets her phone out. It's his play. And it's some pretty like jamming, you know, drums and guitar. This has got kind of like a mid-90s. Wait, she's not like picking up a guitar. She's making you watch her on her phone in the desert. Yes, she's just playing. steak in your hand, which by the way, nothing wrong with cheese steak, but if someone has promised

me a cheese cake and I pull in expecting a cheese cake and then I get a much lower tier food. Yeah, I mean, I'm kind of like, man, on the cheesecake. I thought it was an upgrade, but that's me. I think it's an upgrade too. Like, I don't want to slice a cheesecake at your, at your scary house. But if you hand me a beefy, cheesy sandwich for the drive back, like, I would prefer that. I'm already wondering, like, thankfully it was from a restaurant. Otherwise, I would have been wondering where the meat came from and what animal it was off.

Which one of these guys? Yeah, one of these raccoons. Exactly. Exactly. One is this raccoon playing the trumpet over here. So now she's just got like her phone. And so she gets her phone out. And she just starts like, she just like hits play on some track.

She's got recorded on there. And the tunes are kind of jamming. You know, it's like kind of like 90s sort of rock, you know, drums and guitar kind of stuff. And she's like, I did all the instruments on here. I was like, really? That's pretty amazing. I don't know how to play anything. You can play all these instruments. She goes, well, I downloaded the music.

I chose the music, but I didn't actually play. I'm like, okay, cool, whatever. You should show her. She's just a lot of my playlist. She'd be blown away. She's just a liar. Just a liar through and through. It gets crazier.

She starts telling me about, she's like, I'm going to release it on my own label because I don't trust the big labels. She goes, I was friends with Prince and Warner Brothers killed Prince and killed Michael Jackson. And I was like, really? I'm just kind of playing. playing along at this point. I already got one eye on the exit, but, you know, I'm playing along here. She's like, yeah, because like when an artist dies, their publishing rights go back to the record label, and they killed print so they could get all of his record label. So I was friends with him. I was just to be at Paisley Park all the time. I was like, that's pretty cool. I love French.

I can't. I'm just playing along. I'm like, I can't believe they killed. How'd you correct this case? Yeah, totally. Well, apparently, she said she was one of the people that votes for the Grammys, but now they've been limited. They can only vote for three different categories in the Grammy. anyway she's apparently really connected in the music scene so she goes on to tell me about her story she's like i don't believe anything she's she's lying she can't even you know on hand we're just getting started so we're just getting started so she's on oxygen so she's got she's a little out of breath and she's she's geared me up for the vocals to come in and she's like okay and i'm kind of paraphrasing here but she's like My daughters and I like to go down to the Caribbean and meet guys,

and we all have a lot of biracial children, and I want to make music for biracial kids to let them know that's cool to be biracial. That's cool. I've had girlfriends of all kind of colors and creatures. She's fucking with you. I'm like, okay, whatever. I'm like, this is your music, do your thing. That's a cool message.

You know that people acceptance, tolerance, all that. That's a cool message. Sure. So she's like, okay, here's the part where I sing. And the vocals come in, and it's, kind of like imagine like your grandmother karaokeing over like an evanescent song and it's a little kind of uh you know a little little out of breath but but i'm like okay so great that's an awesome song congratulations i'll look out for it you know let me know i'm just being nice you know

and that's go i got to get going though because i overshot my destination by three and a half hours So it's a wrong way. Yeah, it's 16 hours further back than I thought it was now. So I got to go. So she's like, okay, so I eat the cheese steak. She plays her song. She's like, I need you to meet my horse. Okay, great.

So we go outside. She introduced me to her horse. Bitch has no respect for other people's time. And this is all happened. By the way, this is all happened in about eight minutes. Like, I'm like, so you pulled up up. Scarfs that thing. Pulled up, got out of the truck, walked inside,

creepy lady, animal hitch. cheese steak, funky song, out the door. I'm still worried about grandma. This is going, it's actually taking me longer to tell the story than this is actually happening.

Did you do anything with the grandma? Did you like clap or something? I thought about it, but I was really kind of scared of her. I went behind her on the way out the door. Like I didn't really want to get on the front because that was the direction she was facing. Did you ask about the grandma?

Well, I did. And this is where it gets extra interesting. So she's like, so I said, so what's with the lady? She goes, oh, well, that's my ex-boy. friend's mom. And I said, well, is this like, now this is your, your divorce and the girl. She goes, remember the guy sort of looked like Santa Claus that was with me when I came to the shop? I was like,

yeah. She goes, well, he lives next door. This is his mom. She likes me, though. So she lets me live in the camper behind her house. But I don't have any water, though. I haven't had a bath in 10 days. But anyway, I had to break up with him because he got back with his ex-girlfriend and he could never consummate the relationship. Because as soon as I moved in with him, he showed me this whole closet full of women's underwear and he can only get, like he can only be aroused if he's dressed up in ladies lingerie and people are like, you know, putting stuff in his butt like produce and cucumbers and carrots and stuff. What else? And I'm like, okay, so, so let me get it straight. So mall Santa, toothless mall Santa is into cross-dressing and being penetrated with produce.

And that's not your jam. But he got back with the girl who got him into that. But now you're just living in the camper behind his mom's house next door. That's got to be awkward. She's like, no, no, I'm glad he's happy. I'm like, okay, she goes, I'm not worried about finding somebody anymore anyway. I'm like, okay, that's great. She goes, you know why? I said, no idea. About that moment this dog comes up.

And then she's like completely, like, leaves me on this cliffhanger of like, why she's not worried about relationships. She's like, oh, that dog really likes you. That dog doesn't like anybody. It's really weird that dog is accepting of you. And I'm like, well, I'm pretty good with sketchy dogs. You know, I'm pretty mellow person. I like animals. So, they're pretty chill.

So, okay, well, well, that's definitely telling about. you because I knew there's something special about you. I'm like, ah, you know, I'm just a dude that likes pet animals. She goes, no, no. I'm just a guy that will drive seven hours out of his way on promises of cheesecake. So I unload the motorcycle. She had forgotten how to ride the motorcycle. I kind of showed her how to ride the bike again. And she goes to give me a hug and she goes in to kind of give me like a kiss. And I sort of turn and like deflect it. But I get a butt squeeze out of it. And she goes, remember when I told you we were going to come back to why it? And I said, yes.

She goes, okay, I talked to my psychic just this morning. And she said, I told her that I was swearing off of women that I'm not a lesbian. I never was. I was just married to her for 10 years for the insurance. But I'm not messing with women anymore. She said, I told her I needed to find my true love. And she said, my true love would show up in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat with a beard and do me a favor. And you are my true love.

and if we can find somewhere where I can wash off, I will take you to that camper right now and do unspeakable things to you. So what did she do to you? I got a bottle of water in the truck. Exactly. On day three, I was just asking for a safe word. But yeah, so she told me that was her true love.

And I said, well, darling, I just play a cowboy on the internet. I'm not a real life cowboy. But I'm sure when that cowboy gets here, though, he's going to be a lucky man. Are you walking backwards down the driveway? I'm like, hey, like, my mom's calling me. Like, I got to get back. Like, oh, yeah, something.

Yeah, it's getting that way. So I'm like, yeah, I got to get out of here. I got 13 hours to drive and 12 hours to do it, which was true. So I literally like just sort of got into van and made an escape. And if I had not, I feel like I would probably still be like tied to an RV bed somewhere with like five foot long hair extensions begging for a safe word. but thankfully I got away Santa doesn't show up with a basket

full of cucumbers. Oh my gosh, yeah. I didn't even think about that one. That's even scary. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. But so as soon as I get in a truck, I get out of there and, like, I get a mile and a half down the road. She starts sending me, like, pictures of like her and I, like she's AI'd. She and I into pictures.

They're completely like G-rated, just like my arm around her. Like, hell yeah. Like, funny enough, when I got there, she wanted to take a selfie with me. So I took the selfie with her. She sent me a photo that was almost the same photo, but just once she had AIed together. I'm like,

you have the actual photo of us standing here, but she's AIed that one. So yeah, so at that point I had to literally just turn around and I drove the U-Haul all night. We were leaving at 6 a.m. for the race. I got there at 5.45 and just got out of one truck into another.

And went into this like, funny question. He wanted to know if he could have that selfie for the thumbnail. Oh, yes, yes, I can. Yeah, send that to him. Send the actually send the AI'd one The one that she like like boosted both of your looks on She probably put his wedding rings on both of you or something

That's that's that's that's honestly a little bit scary Like were you remote and isolated enough that it was there was no hollering for help There was no cell phone signal there was nothing out there I mean you know I'm not a huge dude But I'm like you know I'm 6 1, 225 pounds she's like 4 foot 11 on oxygen so I figure You're like as long as I stay on my feet, keep her moving, tie her out. That was going to be the plan. If she got me on the ground, it's all over. And she probably ended up choking me with those.

Like, honestly, the big exchange I thought might have been like prehensile, like tentacles, like predator or something, you know, like I was like, okay, I'm just going to stay on my feet. Keep moving. Tie her out. Tire out. Wind her, wind her. But, you know, she was a nice lady. And like, you know, I didn't pursue it.

And she's like, well, let me know when you get there safely in the next day. And I didn't. And she messaged me and said, hey, did you get back safe? I said, yes, I did. And I never heard from her again. This is the EMTs. Christopher didn't make it. Oh, my God, yeah.

Oh, and she also said she was an EMT, and she did the Grammys, and what was the... This doesn't sound like a nice lady. There's the cell phone. Oh, my God, yes. I don't know if they... I don't want to, like, I don't want to embarrass her. I mean, the way I look at it is like... She watches the show. We won't. We won't.

We'll blur it. I would say that, you know, you miss 100% of the show. you don't take. And she made a shot. It didn't work, but she walked it off and she was sweet about it. Yeah,

but the tale of the tape truly is that she lied and tricked you and then made you perform a huge amount of labor to keep driving your motorcycle. It was kind of a trick, though, because no cheesecake.

The cheesecake was fake. The cucumbers were real. The cheesecake was honestly an autocorrect. If someone, you better hope I don't have a gun. if I show up for a favor and I was promised cheesecake and there's a basket of cucumbers.

You better have that I don't have a gun. Yeah, it was a big oil and a toothless mall Santa. But to be fair, that was an apple auto correct. She said cheesecake. It just corrected to cheesecake. So I'm going to give her a pass on that one. I don't think that's true. I think it's a typo and she's not owning up to it.

She's like, she's like that man, that man looks like he was. would drive four extra hours for a cheese cake, but maybe not a cheese steak. That might only be two hours. I wouldn't have eaten food from her period, if I'm being honest. I would have been so scared she was drugging me. This is Santa eating a sliced cucumber. It really doesn't. Yeah.

Yeah. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't take it on the cheese steak. It's so bad. It's funny, Zach. Does this smell like chloroform? I'm getting dizzy here. I would be genuinely scared in that scenario because so many scary movies, especially like indie scary movies, begin exactly with what you're talking about.

Like most of the modern things that keep us safe from like monsters, like cell phone reception and neighbors that you can scream like, hey, this guy's got a knife. And they'll instantly call the cops for you and just police response and ambulance and EMTs and all that. Our safe little bubble we've built in our modern world, all that's stripped of war. way when you go up into the mountains of Oregon or something like that, and you're out of cell phone reception, and there are actual predators in these woods that eat people. All of a sudden it becomes a scarier.

It's like a light switch flipped and say, all right, well, let's be on guard now because if we break our leg, we're kind of fucked. Yeah, it definitely had potential on that. And I'll tell you where my downfall is. Like,

every bit of this was like triggering my spidey sense and situational awareness. But it just kept getting so weird. My natural curiosity was just to keep it going, because I just wanted to see what was the next weird thing. Hell yeah. I mean, just animal heads, the old lady,

the UFO thing, which we did not even really address, toothless cross-dressing Santa with the produce. Like the Prince was killed by Warner Brothers. Like, it just kept getting weirder and weirder and weirder. I've known. Yeah,

those are other obvious lies that she's really connected to the Grammys and was friends with Prince. Like, just baffling. It was a busy eight minutes. It was a busy. It was a lot. I mean, I was there probably in total.

Unloading the bike, let's say 20, 25 minutes. And it just stayed consistently weird the entire time. Like, it was just some sort of weird Salvador Dali painting come to life. Like, it was. I'd be mad on the way back. You have cheese steak breath and you're like, that fucking liar. I drove all through the night. Just literally an all night driving a U-Haul truck with no cell signal all by myself.

Just sort of like no ready. you get out in like, you know, like Monument Valley Four Corners area. Like there's no internet. Like if you hit Seek on the radio, it's like playing a roulette without the ball. Like it just, there's nothing. Yep. So, yeah, it was just me in silence for like 13 hours dropping back just going like, man, did that, did that happen?

Did I misread that somehow? Like, how much scarier? How much scary would all that be, if you can imagine, without the guns? Like, oh, much. I would like, like, that would have been, with a gun, I feel so safe. Without a gun in a scenario like that, man, that's, like, how do you know

there's not three guys waiting for you in that cabin? Yeah, that was... What if Prince is there? What if Prince is there with that little mustache and he's mean as shit? Prince, with his little Torridor outfit, yeah. He's all unwashed and smelly, and he's mad. He's like a spider monkey, what?

And he's dead. What if he was sitting there instead of that old lady? And you just heard him go, Papa rain. And you're like, holy shit. the old lady could have been Michael Jackson who she also included in the conspiracy four quarters four quarters that's the national monument where four states touched in one spot yeah right and that was halfway there but just that I love that place all it's a cool

all four of us have been there I've never been there I would love to though I wanted to go there for 40 years my aunt went there when I was a little kid and she showed pictures and she's like this is me standing in four states at once that took my imagination and then a few years ago I went out there and I did it. And NASA, like, occasionally recalibrates where the little monument goes to compensate for tectonic shift. It's cool. Yeah.

So is there evidence of how they've shifted it when you get there where you can see, like, you know, it used to be a little that way? I just read the placard that it does that. No, not that I saw that I saw. That's cool. And they've got a whole, like, kind of like four, like a kind of a courtyard built around it where it's in the center. and a lot of the Navajo and other Native Americans kind of do like sell jewelry and stuff around there.

And they've got kind of their own little permanent structure there. So I think to move it would be pretty tough. But it's close enough. And somebody told me once that it's actually about a couple hundred feet off to the side anyway. That was just a more convenient spot. But I don't know if that's true. You better fix it. Because there's a little like you guys know the historical signs.

They're almost like forged made out of metal with raised printing. That's what I was. It said that. Oh yeah and it's it's a cool spot I mean and there's a whole like like it's like a thing in the concrete you know where you can like stand in a circle and like take a picture you know

like you're feeding off the corner It should have little kiosks or something in each of the four corners that serves some kind of food that's like associated with that area so like you get Mexican food in New Mexico you get all the same fucking old people food in Arizona XMex Colorado is probably

something like nose ring hipster guy or something. What's the other one? What's the other one? The other one would be Utah, and it would be a, it would just be a, a little stands that they, they sell everything but beer. Yeah, and they're really friendly. Remember Sighto Bob? Sighto Bob had a scheme to kill Bart Simpson and he wanted to like fire the bullet from like

New Mexico, kill Bart in Colorado, and then immediately flee to you. Utah where they have that. It's something like that. It's the perfect scheme, Simpson. Yeah, that's a cool. That is a park that I've thought about going to many times. That in the Grand Canyon, but that one, because if you like maps and stuff, it's just cool to be in that exact area.

It's not convenient to anything. It was hours out of our way. It is, unless you're going from southwestern Utah to Colorado, then you literally go right past it. Like it's like you're 50 feet from it when you drive fast. It's right there. It's not a lot in southwestern Utah.

I drove from Albuquerque to Denver and I made sure to go a little bit out of my way so I could see that thing because it was like, why not? I'm already making this long, boring drive in the desert. We were going from Moab to North Carolina. It was like, yeah, we'll go off the way a little bit. Oh, yeah.

That's barely a detour on a drive that fucking long. That's like two and a half days or something? We did it without stopping. actually on the way home on the way there we stopped but on the way home we just drove nonstop you get tired on the bike like you ever you ever get drowsy like riding or does just you do this this is the only trip where we trailered bikes out there so we were in my truck but um uh yeah on the bike i get so tired and then ever read a book and then realize you don't know what the last two pages said yeah i've had that happen you know where it's like i where is my mind where is my mind

bin all this time what if there was a you know rabbit in the road or something it's time to take a break yeah yeah that's a shame we only have one four corners area because we got so lazy with the state structure as we went west start throwing fucking cubes out there like just little well the cubes are what created it right it should be on rivers and stuff there should be lots of three corners where two rivers meet and the states kind of follow those borders oh yeah there's Yeah, like a T. But, you know, I'm going to go to the Missouri three-point area when there's a four-point area. They don't even have a park at the three-point area.

I bet it's just some destitute forest or just some place you have to walk to and estimate. Yeah. Missouri loves, yeah, Missouri loves company. But funny enough, you know, like when we do cannibals, we go, the southern route, we go across I 40, which is just straight of nothing. Yeah. But as straight as those state lines are, you know, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, believe it or not though there is a noticeable geological change even on lines as straight as those like when you get from like texas and in new mexico it instantly cuts to these like maces and then when you go like from new mexico and arizona

like the rocks change and like it really funny enough as straight as those lines are you can kind of visually tell within a mile or two that you have actually changed it's it's pretty cool yeah the guy i was with he knew all the names of the different geological structure And he's like, oh, look at that mesa. And it's like, how's that different than a plateau? And how's that different than a cliff? Like, these things all seem about the same. Every, like, six miles, he's like, ah, the devil's dick.

And, like, just like, just naming the, just saying, oh, no, no, no, wait, this is the devil's dick. So, no idea. When we drive to Alaska every year, I have this side character I do on the radios. because all the cliff launch cars we're driving up with. We all have, like, radios to talk back and forth. And I have this character I do called Dale Attenborough. He's like a Southern naturalist. And I just make up shit about animals.

You know, like, we'll just pass an elk or something. And I'll just make up this, like, ridiculous trivia about the animal or whatever. But one year, we took a geologist with us. And that dude, though, like, knew some science. I mean, Dale, I just got pushed to the side. This guy was dropping knowledge about all these are rock types and what formed it, how old the air we were driving through. It was pretty cool.

Like, it's neat to hang out with smart people. There's some cool stuff. I've never done it. Same. But there's kind of a cool thing with the soil layers out here. Of course, like, you know, living in Utah, it's just stride. I mean, the mountains look like tie-dye. You know, you can just see every soil level for the last 500 million years.

But according to the sum of the people around here, there's areas where there's like 20 million years of dirt. missing in these soil levels and it's because when the glaciers would come down they would push like whatever was on the surface a hundreds of miles south of here then your treat then new dirt would pile back up so these like like in the Grand Canyon as well there are these huge age gaps in the soil levels because the glaciers just stripped it away so you let's go from and I don't know the correct number but you know 200 million years ago to a 195 million years ago and there's just 45 million years of dirt missing. That's kind of neat. It is neat. And then I always wonder how much leeway they give themselves the scientists for the age of the soil because sometimes you'll see even at

museums it'll be like this is between 40 and 70 million years ago. And it's like let's tighten it up. Let's figure it out. You know, that's crazy. If I if I like told Like if I made a prediction for the MLB winner and I named 17 teams, you'd be like, that's not a prediction. You just named over half the teams. That's what they're doing. They need to really tighten it up. Oh, that was my landlord knocking on the door.

Okay, okay. Sorry. You got that lady with a truck locks in there. Yeah, exactly. You're never giving that, getting that $700, Donnie. Not until the sink is fixed. It's just behind me. And I just imagine hundreds of thousands of people are just like, what the hell?

That happens on the radio when you hear the, when those dickhead producers put police sirens in songs. Yes. There should be a law against that. That should be illegal. Sincerely, it's just every time it's like, oh, no, I'm behaving. I'm not in trouble. I'm not about to just random. That's what getting pulled over is if you're speeding.

It's like just a reverse lottery where now you owe $265. and everybody else is speeding too speeding's really not a big deal we should lessen the I haven't been pulled over for speeding in so so so long like it just doesn't really happen here man I got a 29 and a 20 when I moved out here to Utah

whoa well then we have like how fast are you going I've got like I've got like three Cannibal run records and I get a 29 and a 20 I was like were you going 50 and a 20 and they hooked you up with less than 10 I was going 37 and a

which would have taken me to jail so they actually gave me a solid but I turned out to have to go to court for it anyway because even though it's only nine over it's like 40% over the posted speed limits they'd be like going like 95 and a 65 or something so I was actually in kind of trial they were cool about it though for $25

extra in Utah they'll not put it on your record you just pay the fine it was like $100,000 you have to convert to LDS but who's to say that's right they're super nice Utah is like its own mini country within our country. If you've ever been to Salt Lake City and everything. I used to have to go there for work on occasion.

And one of my work friends was a Mormon from maybe he was from Provo, but he'd been in Salt Lake City a bunch. And like just that giant temple to Joseph Smith and like the, I think the angel Maroni is the one standing on the top blowing a horn. And they have this huge thing that like is not like any other. American city because no one else has a city that's completely dominated by like a religious structure. Do you know how their addresses work? Yeah, it's like a grid. Yeah. So I'm a little light on specifics, but the address is all a reference from where you are in relation to that Mormon church.

So if you tell me you're at, like if you told me your real address and it's like one, two, three, wallaby way, that means nothing to me. But if you're like in Salt Lake City, my address is like 115, what their addresses are formatted and weird way, then you can like visually place it on the map, like, because you know where it is in relation to the church. Yeah, like for the like the shop, for example, like I've lived out here for about three years, but I've lived out here full time for about five months now. Like our shop is like 424 West, 2260, I'm see what, 244 north, 2260 which is, yeah, like this X, Y coordinate thing all based on if there's not, you are correct, about the temple and if there's not a temple they base it off the crossing of main and state street

which every town seems to have and yeah it's like an ex-squire grid coordinate so like if you know what you're doing if somebody gives you their address you can ballpark pretty much where they are it's it's pretty cool but you were absolutely right though it is like another country out here i mean from i've been to every state i've been to most the countries definitely within america this is its own thing i mean they don't have you know there's they don't have a lot of the stores places have of their their addresses are different. They have mailboxes. There's these little like kiosk things that's into the street.

Religion is a very big thing here. Like it is definitely different. But I will say like like I was I grew up in a Baptist church. But like almost everybody here is Mormon and they are all super nice. Like it is the nicest place. Like we've had a bunch of flash flood and stuff lately. Like every time something goes down like the whole town pitches in, people are down there stacking sandbags helping neighbors out.

Like I, there's a lot. lot of esoterica with that church that I don't understand or don't know, but whatever it's, whatever they're doing on the inside, on the outside, the people are super cool and nice. Like they, and like nobody throws any shade on me for like not being a Mormon. It's just kind of their thing. But I got nothing but good stuff to say about the people in general. Everybody's chill. Nobody locks their, I unlocked my car in like four months.

Nobody touches anything. Just leave the keys in it. It's still there. Neighbors look out for each other. It's pretty cool. The amount of guys I saw when I was driving or walking through downtown Salt Lake, like such a high percentage of guys were wearing that short sleeve, white t-shirt, tie, little book here, like exactly how you would think. Huge sums of these guys where I'm like maybe these must be like the warriors in training.

Like they're not being sent out to fucking Nicaragua yet. They're, oh, they go all over. But yeah, my friend Matt, his son's out on his mission right now. And yeah, it's kind of a ride of passage thing for them to do. And everybody seems to talk pretty favorably about it. Yeah, the, the, the, um, yep, there's like a short, like a shirt and a pair of shorts kind of tied together that people wear. And that's kind of how you like, because you'll see it like under somebody's t-shirt or

under their collar, you know, that's kind of how, yeah, I guess you can tell somebody's yeah. And they call themselves, uh, they're called elders. and so the guy will be like 20 years old and it'll say like elder Martin. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hierarchy to it. And again, I don't mean any disrespect towards it because I just don't understand the heart.

But it's like there's like a ward and you got like a bishop for your area. And then there's like a state. It's kind of almost like military. You know, you got like a platoon and a division and a like it gets bigger and bigger. And they're pretty organized. Like if I guess something like a national disaster or something like that, they do they hop into this like action mode with you know,

you got people that look out for everybody within. their group or somebody's in the hospital or just have a baby, whatever. It's a lot of community type stuff. I think of Utah, like the bizarro Wisconsin, almost, where like Wisconsin, their culture

is just getting shithoused and trashed and cheese and all of that constantly. They're Wisconsin ites, they're not going on fucking missions, dude. They're chilling. They're watching the Packers. They're having a good time. But the Mormons is the opposite. And here's something, a little pro tip. If you're

on work or pleasure, business, whatever, and you fly through the Salt Lake City Airport and you have a layover, don't drink, don't buy any alcohol, don't buy any beer because they're, maybe vodka and stuff is the same, but they trick you with the beer because they have special Utah beer that these brewers send in and they charge you just as much. And I remember having like a Bud Light talking 12 years ago at the Salt Lake City Airport and being like, something's wrong. Like, why does this taste so weird? And then, like, on my phone, I look it up.

And it's like, oh, yeah, Budlite makes special Mormon-approved alcohol for Utah sales. That's instead of being 4% alcohol, it's two and a half percent or whatever. And so it just tastes bizarre. And it wasn't until I looked it up. But I saw that's the reason. They bully you. And they still charge fucking $9 for it. So don't, don't patronize the Salt Lake City.

Yeah. There's very little alcohol out here. There is a microbreed, though. called polygamy. And so when Ed and I first came out and competed in the off-road games, we've got like a 12-pack of it. And the slogan, it's like, polygamy porter, so good, you can't have just one. And we'd be hanging out and know what I was to be like, so ready to go back for some polygamy? Sure, Chris. We love it. And it again, just running joke. But, but yeah, there's very little drinking out here, very little alcohol. Like, nobody smokes.

Nobody drinks. There's very few bars or anything like that. There's no, like, adult stores. there's not really like liquor store. I mean, it's here and you can get it. And I don't think anybody would those shade on you if you did. But, but yeah, the Mormons, to my knowledge, don't drink or anything like that. I'd love to see their comparative root beer sales per capita in Utah. And I did find something out here, which is amazing, which is a dirty Dr. Pepper, which is just like Dr. Pepper with like vanilla and half and half in it.

And it's creamy and delicious and awesome. But, yeah, they can tear up some mad root beer. become really trendy, a lot of restaurants offer it now. It doesn't sound good at all. Dirty Mountain Dew, dirty Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Dirty Mountain Dew. Yeah.

And the coffee tea thing, I think, is less about caffeine as it is about. There's something about, in their Bible, about steeped beverages. So, like anything like tea leaves or coffee grounds or whatever that they avoid. No steeping, saith the Lord. They call it a strong drink. You can't have strong drink, which is alcohol, coffee, tea, the strict ones say tea. The real strict ones don't even have like Coca-Cola or Pepsi or anything because it has caffeine in it. I remember many years ago I was dating a girl who her family was a Mormon and when like we'd go to an event or something, open the cooler.

Ginger ale. All ginger ale, root beer. And because they can't have any of the other pleasures, they are full sugar soda people. There's no diets around. There's no diet Coke. no diet Pepsi, no diet Sprite Zero or whatever, even the root beer zero. It's all full sugar sodas. They crush sodas.

When I first got here, like I lost a bunch of weight because I was like out in the sun and working to doing physical stuff all the time. But there are so many stacks of sodas at work that I'm like drinking way too many mountain dews every day. And yeah, I got to cut that out because it is there is candy and sugar everywhere. But you know, but whatever the, I mean, everybody. I work with, say maybe one or two people are all Mormon, my landlord's Mormon, my friends I've made here, my neighbors, like everybody. And like

the polygamy part of it, that's a completely different sort of extremist bit. Like the regular Mormons do shade on that. Like, they're not down with that either. But like, whatever it is that their church, though, like, they make some nice people, though. Like, whatever they're doing, it's working because they're nice.

Everybody I met out here is like, I would not live anywhere else. Like when I was in Atlanta, everybody in Atlanta, is like Atlanta sucks. I got to get out of here. But like out of here, Alaska is the same way. Everybody know in Alaska and everybody know in Utah is like, I'm not leaving. This is awesome.

And it is pretty rad. So whatever they're doing is working. They're good people. Like it's a, like, for example, I got a packet. I got to notice one day from somebody I had given them the wrong address to send me something. And it was going to get shit back. And I was like, oh, this is going to be paying the ass. So I like, I called the post office.

And I was like, hey, can we do something about this? And the post office lady who in Atlanta would have been like, like, sir, you screwed up, deal with it on your own time. But here the lady's like, oh, let me look up and see who's your mail carrier. I'm going to call his supervisor and get his cell phone number. They'll call him and give him the right address and he'll bring it to your house. And like an hour later, my phone rings. And it's the guy.

And he was like, yeah, I went by earlier. The dress did match up. I'm going to leave it on your doorstep. Like, they just do stuff like that, which, you know, most places, nobody's going to go out of their way to do you any sort of kindness or break their routine. But out here, as somebody's like, yeah, share we'll help you out like it's it's a good vibe do you uh do you remember that south park episode where the mormon family moves in i know kyle does and the Mormon kids at school and Stan's going to beat him up because they're like that new kids we'd like beat him up and then it

goes to beat him up and the kids like i get it you know i'm the new kid i just hope that after this we can be friends and like invites him to his house that's what they're like there was this there was this fat Mormon guy that I worked with when I lived in Boise at the airport. And such a nice guy, friendly guy, bit of a goob, bit of a goober. And at one point, and I'm so many people, like, being from Missouri, I don't have the exposure to Mormon. So I didn't know what was up. But one of the people there who was non-Morman, but grew up in Idaho, Utah area was making fun of this guy being like, I can see your special underwear under your shirt. And like, you could. You could see like his like big full suit underwear thing and he started giving him guff for it and the mormon did exactly what that

kid in the south park episode did where he's like yeah i know it's silly we all know it's silly it's silly it's just something that's important to us and so we choose to practice it and it's like i'm trying to blow you right now and he's yeah you're not getting one over on them and my understanding of the undergarment is that like in their belief system like when the uh when the rapture is um like when the rapture happens like you're supposed to be dressed appropriately in white and that's sort of like like they're kind of always prepared so like if it goes down then like you know they're going to be they're going to strip down and have their get on um so uh excuse me for a second my landlord's

knocking the door we're having flash floods here and he just messaged me and said that my car's about to float away so i need to go outside all right go ahead and check so if you guys uh do you thing i'll be right back Yeah, yeah. The Mormons are, when you read into the little intricacies of Mormonism and whatnot, there's a lot of Warhammer 40K stuff. Wait, what? There's like some Warhammer 40K-ish, like you get a planet and you're God of that planet. Like, then you can, you just get to run the show.

If you're good, I guess, if you wear the underwear and you don't smoke or drink, yeah. You can start and you get your own planet. you get to be got uh, Zach, can you mute Chris? He's rummaging around there in his Junk's drawer.

Looking for his car keys. That is what he's doing. He's looking past all the Chick-fil-A packets in the old ketchup and he's looking for his car keys and we hear him rummaging around. That's great. Yeah.

Woody's got his blue shirt on tonight. Boy, stand back. And that looks That looks like a bright fresh one Woody That must be new I don't even know I don't know it's not one of my responsibilities Like a picture you doing what I do

Which is like getting one of those shirts And just pulling the plastic off and putting it on But the line's still on it Because it's been folded up for so long It'll never feel that good again I like the new shirt like Just like socks That was like the most king shit white boy did back in the day

Where he was like ever since I started to making money. I don't reuse socks. And it's like, wow, that's so waste. New socks for every day of the year. I was envious. It sounded like such luxury, but it's affordable luxury. It's not that. I watched to do it. He looked at way for like four or five months. When I did that Mr. Beast thing in the spring, he brought me a pair of socks, a brand new pair of socks. Legend. No. Solid guy. Yeah, it's a dollar a day, max, for fresh socks always. Well, I think he bought better socks. They were champion socks.

I think he spent it upwards of $3 on these things. Oh, wow. But it's still like possible, right? Like you've got $3 a day, probably. I don't think socks fall off that much after one wash. They do. They really don't. They become like a different material entirely.

When I put them on, they're so soft and smooth. And almost like I've got lotion on my feet when I put them on. after a wash, it's like a cum rag. It's all grisly and bristly and rough. What else are you doing to it? Well, I'm, you know, coming in it. I come in it, you know. Yeah, obviously.

There's the reason it's like a cum rag. I hate this. You wear socks one day and it smells like bleach. I don't wear socks that much, though. I'm wearing my crocs now. I've switched, I've shifted to crock life. If I'm not leaving the house, I don't put on shoes. I don't leave the house that much.

So I only put things on my feet like once a week. Once a week maybe. I bet I wear shoes less than two hours a week. Or socks. Sox, even if I know I'm staying home all day. Every day. You got to wear, you got to wear socks. It's soft.

It's warm. It's nice. Wait, you wear socks even if you don't go anywhere? Yeah, just around the house. I always put socks on. You just slide around the house like Tom, who's in risky business all the time? Literally, yes.

Yeah. I do. I like run down my, now that I got the new floors, I can like do a little half sprint down the hallway and then slide into the kitchen. I do that regularly. The old time rock and roll. I'm here for it. And that would be possible without socks. I had the worst toe stub of my life yesterday.

I was walking through out of this room actually. And like, you know, when you stand up into something and you're like, my God, I didn't know I stood with such. force with such aggression that I was standing. I did that where I was like walking quickly and I just destroyed my right pinky toe like kicking a suitcase that I had on the ground that I hadn't moved yet that like wheel area on the back because it was laying flat just kicked it so hard and I walked down in the living room and I told my wife I was like I really think I just like I was like laughing because it hurts so much and because I was so embarrassed to have done that where I I was like, babe, I think I just broke my toe.

Like, I think my toe is like definitely broken. I think the nail's going to fall off and I think it's going to turn black and blue and purple. And she was like, oh, that stinks. And I was like, yeah, well, we'll see. Wake up this morning and like was showered, was going to put my socks on and completely black my entire toe. And the nail is starting to turn dark a little bit.

I kicked. I have never kicked anything this hard. Not black. I guess mostly like. blue and purple, just bruised severely. It is swollen. Walking doesn't feel right. Have you been to the doctor?

No, no. All right. I think I won't judge. Are you buddy taping it? I'm wearing slippers. I haven't done anything to it. I'm just going to let it. That you should do. Wait, what is buddy?

What is buddy tape? All you do is you tape your toe next to the good toe next to it as a splint. Oh, okay. Yeah. Grab some. grab some medical tape. You may even have a ton from your hockey days or something. That's what I used to wrap my sticks with. And buddy tape your toe and it'll be so much better. Okay. I'll do that after this. Because it's, you know, those like little injuries that hurt so much more than they should that you're almost embarrassed that they hurt. That's what this is where I'm like bitching about it. And I'm like, I can't even bitch about this. And they're like, oh, your pinky toe hurts. I did so much worse in terms of like embarrassing bitching. I was in the dark.

Jackie was on the couch. It was in the living room. And I'm walking. And I stub my toe. And I scream. I was like, ah! And she's like, are you okay? I'm like, actually, I,

I stub my toe on a shoe. I thought it would be a much bigger deal. I'm fine. I don't know why I reacted so much. You like, do that mad thing before we're like, who left these shoes? They're your shoes. You love to this.

It's just like mad. yeah that's that's no fun just a little injury but I'm battling through it I was coming down the stairs one time we had carpeted stairs at this place and my girlfriend was at the bottom of the stairs saying something to me distracting me and in one hand I had like a half full glass like this of iced coffee that had like gone warm I hadn't finished it and I'm taking it back and my heat I have socks on and my heels slip out from under me on the stairs like three quarters of the way down a long Stah, I'm going, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, ass for ass sliding the whole way down with this glass jiggle jangling, so I'm sloshing it all over the wall and my face the whole way down,

because, like, what am I going to do, throw it? Wait, what was it, like a full, a diet soda? It was ice coffee. So it's everywhere. It's black ice, it's all over the walls. It's all over me, and I just land at her feet on my ass, like, oh, ha, oh, ha, ha, ha.

laughing at me. I think I broke the glass at some point. There's glass everywhere on the floor. It was a nightmare. I've had some rough faults. I've fallen down the stairs at least twice a year for like every year. I don't learn. I get like brazen about it.

I start like doing this sort of thing where I sort of like slide down them on my heels. I'm barely touching the stairs like going fast. I don't know what I'm like parkuring down the stairs like Michael Scott. And then it always fails eventually. And I ended up crumpled at the bottom of them, like moving one part of my body at a time. Like a disaster victim trying to see if everything still works. That sucks. Yeah, I'm a little clumsy.

Did you hear about that woman who wouldn't give up her seat on the plane? The video went viral. It's a 10-hour flight. And the woman next to her had a middle seat and her husband had a middle seat. This is not us. The filmer, the one who took the video, she had an aisle seat. So the middle seater says, hey, would you switch seats with my husband so I can sit next to him? And she's like, I have an aisle.

Your husband is a middle that's a downgrade. No. And she insists or whatever. And she's like, just no. No, I'm not going to switch. They get the stewardess in there. The stewardess is like, it's her seat. She doesn't have to give it to you.

Anyway, the husband's behind. He's sleeping like a baby. He doesn't give a fuck. The wife is up front in the middle seat crying, crying and crying. Three hours into the flight, this bitch is still crying because her husband's behind her instead of next to her. And fucking hero is filming it. Like three hours in, she still crying. And I loved it.

I thought it was cool. What a jerk. Like you can't demand someone's seat like that. Buy them earlier. Buy them together. It's not their problem. There's an unwritten, like, adult code that some people just don't seem to be aware of. And, like, that's a perfect example of it.

They should have beaten her. That's what they'd have done in the old days. That was some wood boat. And we were on some cruise to America. And bitch had been crying for three hours. And I'm vomiting over the edge because I'm Polish and I've never been on a boat before. We're slapping the shit out of her. That's the end of that.

We're shutting her up crying, a grown-ass woman. If it's so important to you, We've all bought plane seats before and made sure that we were where we wanted to be. It's not that fucking hard. If I'm her husband, I'm like, thanks, YouTuber, for taking her off my hands and dealing with her crying for three hours. Normally, this is me. Imagine that. Like, if your wife was that person.

And I get that footage. It's going to play well in court. Yeah. I mean, I feel bad for the husband because that certainly was not the last he heard of that incident. She probably bitched the whole way in the car. I bet they got tremendous deals buying two middle seats that were apart from one another. And they went and they were like, somebody will swap. Somebody will swap.

Don't worry about it. They always swap. And then they're making their like being cheap for plane tickets into somebody else's inconvenience. I hate women that cry though. I noticed the wife was petitioning to get the husband next to her, right? But the husband wasn't petitioning his neighbors to be like, can I get? get my wife here. Nah, he just went to sleep like a king.

Yeah. It's like, no, I don't want to move. The guy who's sitting next to me actually bought the ESPN package. He's watching the evening. Well, well, speaking of, you know, I have encountered like, I mean, I fly a hundred something times a year. And I have encountered people from couples from countries where women are not always treated

the nicest. Like the dude will, the husband will be in first class. and then the wife and or kids will be in the back in the nosebleed seats where I have to fly like stuff in the back based which is king shit yeah I was wondering what the cake take on that would be

like king shit like I really like it if there's three kids like there's an odd number of kids so it really makes sense and honestly like I love that like if there because it doesn't make sense for him to be back there in a separate seat just near them inconvenienced. She's got them.

You know, let them take a whole row off four of them. And then he can go up there and relax. He's pulling the wagon. Why doesn't he get a little time off? He's clearly flying the whole pack of miscreants somewhere nice. You think they're going somewhere to like, all work hard? No, it's a fucking vacation. Really? I think he's supposed to help with the kids. Help with the kids.

How do you think we have this flying bird in the air in the first place? Those kids can't even enjoy the mimosis. They can't even have that. I mean, they could. Oh, yeah, they're too busy kicking my seat and throwing things. But, but yeah, probably take one for the team kind of thing. I just, I don't know. I would, if I was flying with a girl, I would definitely.

10-hour flight? I'm not switching to a middle at all. No. Like a former president could walk up and be like, hey, Taylor, I was hoping that we could switch seats so I could get here. And I'd be like, Mr. President, no. first of all, Mr. President, she's clearly 16 years old. You don't want this seat. And second of all, I need

the leg room. Look at me. Well, I'm 6'4, Taylor. I don't know if you need. Get the fuck out of your creep. Get out of here. I didn't fly commercial anymore. I learned everything I knew about girls from from Jerry Seinfeldon. He should have flown with Epstein again.

Yeah. I'm taking a project. Commercial here with me. Sorry, dumbass. I have this interesting dichotomy of a flying where it's like, I grew up in an open. open cockpit by plane.

Then I was married to somebody and we had money and we flew on private jets for years. And then now I'm just in like the cheap seats and airliners all the time. I've never had like that first class midrange experience. I just had like the worst airline seats like the non-reclining frontier flight to Atlanta where like I'm in the middle seat between two people who would be touching if I wasn't sitting between them or like private jet with the AK-47 and the champagne. but I've never had like that first class recliner seat nice experience in the front I'm missing that I've only done first class once and I and I think it was a mistake because now I just want that every time like it was an early flight and they brought out like a whole breakfast and I was blasted off edibles already and then they start being like do you want Irish coffees or mimosas and I'm like what a what a fun choice like just to have and then you start having a couple mimosas and you're like, I am better than everybody back there. You start thinking stuff like that.

The best is when somebody comes from back there and tries to use our bathroom up front, I love a stewardess who shuts that shit down. No, madam, no madam, back there at the rear of the plane, at the rear of the plane. Oh, yeah. I'll hiss at him like a raccoon. It makes you feel good. We were on a Virgin flight one time. Virgin, by the way, is the nicest first class I've ever been on.

They don't fly out of Atlanta, I don't think, or if they do, it's international. But we were catching a flight from like Seattle at Pax down to L.A. at like E3 or something. It was that time of year. And the first class is very nice. You have these individual captain's chairs, of course. But they're like, there's like room between them. Like, they don't squeeze them in there together.

They're thinking up so much room and they've got this really nice, kind of like a purplish, magentic thing I got going on. They do that. And it's really nice at night because it's like, it doesn't take. away your night vision, but it's also you can sleep through it. And this little Asian lady she comes out of the back, out of the poor part of the plane.

And she's clearly like Chinese. And she's like, comes into like my like, like, area. Like she walks behind the seat between and she starts pecking on kitty, waking her up. She's dead asleep under a blanket. And I'm watching it under my blanket. I'm awake, but I'm

under a blanket. And I'm like, who-hoo. And she's like, oh, ho! And like, she sounds like an EWAT from Star Wars, like, who, who. Like, she made some sort of a Chinese wake-up noise, and kiddies like, what's going on? Ling, Ling, Ling. Have we reached Los Angeles,

or whatever she said, and the lady's like, how much you pay for your seat? How much? How much this seat? And your seat, how much it costs? And I'm just like, and then the stewardess like grabs and what are you, what are you doing? Like, ushers are back to the

back and makes her go use the regular toilet. It was hilarious. I've never seen it actually happened. What is you doing? I am just requisitioning your passengers about that cost. It's like, all right, don't do that. I had a very cool Asian lady flight experience. So I'm flying to Vietnam and I'm on Vietnamese Airways,

which is like when I first heard, I saw the ticket for Vietnamese Airways, I'm thinking I'm going to be like holding somebody's chicken or something. But I was completely wrong. like it was like super luxurious like high tea at four o'clock the stewardesses are all like smoking hot with like many skirts on like it was it was james bond airline but like the menu like they're feeding us on the way over there and the menu is like something rice bowl with with fish floss on it and fish floss is like dried sort of little shreds like shredded fish kind of stuff I'm like whatever so I'm like

getting my fish floss I'm tearing open the little like give me like a little clear plastic thing of fish floss and the lady, Vietnamese lady doesn't speak in English next to me, kind of, attaching her arms, she's like, no, no, no,

like, don't eat the fish floss. And I'm like, okay, like, I stop. And she goes in her purse, and she comes out with some,

like, homemade fish floss. It was like, the bomb. It was just like super, I mean, delicious. And she's like,

shaking it on my rice. I was, it was awesome. And I was like, that was really cool. Like, complete random strangers. Like,

nope, don't eat that airline crap. I brought the real stuff from home. She was super cool. I got a selfie somewhere with it. We're just like, I have the fish floss. Just nice person, you know.

Kind of like with the Mormons, man. The Vietnamese are just super nice. But yeah, Asian air life. That's like an old Mexican lady pulling out tortillas or something. Totally, totally. Yeah,

she had this total like Vietnamese grandma vibe. Just like, no, no, I got your cookies right here. Yeah, that was a cool one. That's something we need to get back to.

Hot stewardesses. Oh, yeah. To go back to, you know, having, you know, it is a plane,

so weight requirements could even make sense. from a business perspective. It depends, right? Now, it depends what you want from a stewardess. If you just want eye candy, I get that. But I do want some service along the way. You know, if I ask for a can, you know, I want to be lickety splint.

I always appreciate the sort of snipey gay dude who's like clearly mad about something and he's real sassy about it. But he's always lickety split bringing stuff. He's on his game. Yeah, a lot of those on Delta. I think it's like Turkish airways or what? of those like like I was in Kuala Lumpur and like

they came through the airport with like it was like that scene in Harry Potter when like all the hot French girls show up at their school. They're like marching in formation. They're all like six foot three long legs. There's this guy in the front with some crazy mustache and he's like walking there like this way just come like

bone in the airport just walking right through to their plane and all of them smoking hot and yeah it was definitely they were nice up I had a funny stewardess. So we've, I was flying from like India to England, I think. And like a lot of flights from places, you have to be like disinfected when you get off the plane if you're coming from certain areas. So like we've landed from Mumbai or somewhere like that. And so the lady's like,

she's, you know, super hot lady. She's like doing the like runway walk down the aisle with these two cans of disinfectant, just spraying everybody. And she's kind of got like the sassy wall. And like anytime she saw somebody like especially Indian, she would like just get a extra she would just like and then she'd give him like little snake bites especially Indian she was just like

she was so just give that guy a bit of extra spray I saw I'm trying to fuck with electrical outlets before those guys those guys love it being electrocuted sprits him

yeah she was if you look extra dirty she would just hose you with it and that was a weird funny for like or not funny but probably disheartening for the Indians who they're like flying from Paris to Rome and they're like that is so odd because we're about to land but they have not walked through to disinfect us yet

and they're like no that's only from Europe from like India and Pakistan and Bangladesh. Yeah that wasn't a COVID measure. That was a smell issue. We look at how a country treats their rivers and then we decide if they need sanitizing or not. We actually accordingly. They act accordingly. And this is a foamy pit full of bodies and syringes. So we spritz you a little on the way in. That's all.

Sprits them a lot. Yeah. They needed. It was the biggest democracy in the world, Taylor. It's the what? The biggest democracy in the world. India? Yeah.

Well, I guess that makes sense. They have the most people. Yeah. Six of the world's population. That's a lot. Some would say I think India could send I saw something India can like send

two million people to every country on earth and still be the biggest country on earth as far as population and it's good business for them because all the Indians they're sending out they all send remittances back like they they all Indian people working in France send parts of their money back to India

like it's the best business thing for Indians of all time like flood other countries with Indians and then you make some money on their money. Bada Bing. I don't like that. The capital of Ireland, though, is the fastest growing city on earth. That can't possibly be true. Unless it's a weird percentage game.

Is it as a percentage? It's Dublin every day. Jesus Craig. You win this round. I caught on just as he said it. I, shut. Did you see Elon? car, you're a car guy.

Chris. The blind thing? Yeah. I want to know how it stuck to the wall. That's the part. Elon said it had a suction fan, but there's obviously tons of pictures of the thing upside down, and there's no visible suction fan.

My thought was magnets, but magnets are really heavy, I think. So I don't know how they did it. Well, there's a race car. the bottom of the car is a race car right now. It's a fan that's creating suction. It lowers down to the ground and creates that suction when he's doing the ramp thing.

Like a hovercraft kind of, but in reverse. Yeah, I can't remember the name of the car, but it's like a little coach-built race car track day car that has a fan on it. It'll stick on the ceiling. I've seen it mounted. There's a hot wheel of it.

I suddenly blanked on the name of it. But yeah, it's like they demoed it on this like rotissory thing and they just like rotated it upside down. and it'll just stick to the ceiling through its own suction. And I guess that's what they did with the Tesla car. But that car, though, there was nobody in it. And it was just like a lightweight compressed air can, basically. Like, it wasn't, I don't think it would have taken a whole lot of weight to hold it up there with some suction.

I mean, it was largely just compressed air and a couple of tires and some jets, if I remember. So it creates 4,700 kilos of downforce when it sucks, which is an, like. That's a lot. It's like 9,000 pounds maybe. Yeah, like 910,000, 2.2 pounds to a kilo. So yeah, like 90, 150 pounds or something. I don't know. Yeah, that's a lot.

Wow. I thought it was fucking cool. I did recognize it for what it was, you know, a publicity. A marketing event. Marketing and for shareholders. I don't think it's indicative of anything that we're going to see on the roads. There's certainly not going to be a car with that suction system. There's certainly not going to be a car that utilizes Space X,

thrusters in any kind of a real way. I don't know if it's even going to look the way that car looked because that is, if you remember back in, I think, 2016 or 17, they started taking pre-orders for the Tesla Roadster. And people put thousands of dollars down and it's been nine years or so. And now they're showing what seems like we're back at square one sort of with a concept car.

Like it looks completely different than the roadster. They had been like the one they long. to space, for example, that was the initial roadster design. This looks much more like a copycat of one of the cars from a cyberpunk 2077, the video game. I thought it was cool as shit, though, especially when he did the zero to 60 and there's blast and out of the back. That I did wonder, because I don't know how SpaceX thrusters work,

that I did wonder if it could be utilized in a road legal motor vehicle. Like if we could all have some Batman thrusters in the back for kind of like a NOS system, but instead of, you know, sending nitrous oxide into the fuel system, it's instead blasting us off with SpaceX thrusters. That would be very cool if that was somehow road legal, and we could charge those up at SpaceX and, you know, get more gas. I don't know how they work. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, no frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at no-frills.ca.

Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early.

Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. or call 1866 5 through 1, 2,600. Terms and conditions apply. Yeah, that would be pretty dope.

I can only imagine, like, somebody getting rear-ended with one of those cans compressed in there, like, rupturing that thing before you got a chance to defend it. That would be bad, but, yeah, some extra stuff. Take off. Yeah, be like to go back in the sick.

They go crazy. They go crazy. I've done it before. You shoot compressed. air tanks, they get crazy wonky. Oh, man. I thought it was cool about that. I thought it was neat.

I mean, I thought it was a neat marketing event. Like, now, Zach typed in here. They sell a version named the thrust that's supposed to have the jets on the back. Interesting. He did write on the back. Does that mean it's just for zero to 60? I don't know. I made that up.

Yeah, definitely. It will not be any kind of a thruster that launches the car or hovers the car in any sort of a way. It would not be road legal. I got to get this out. Just because Elon Musk takes your money for something, it doesn't mean he sells that thing. I could name a bunch of like

the roadster itself, the solar roofs. It keeps going and going. He'll take your money. He doesn't always make the product. What he's doing now is really interesting. So I heard him on a podcast a few months ago talking about the energy consumption of his AI stuff and those

data centers and how the turbines that I believe they run on natural gas, it's how they're creating a lot of their energy, these gas turbines are back ordered to like 2030 or something like that because of one or two specific parts. I don't know much about gas turbines,

but I think it's the blades and the veins, the part that focused the super hot air and those have to be cast in a very special kind of facility because of the exacting standards because of what they undergo.

But the SpaceX rocket engines also have to do all those things. So Elon has now started making turbine parts. So now he's able to get his natural gas turbines online three years earlier than projected. He's at 6 to 12 months from now. And apparently he's also in the Gulf, like getting all of this natural gas infrastructure. For all of his talk about solar and all these futuristic things, He's going to be the fossil fuel king very soon with the amount of natural gas he's going to control in the Gulf and in Texas. He's a James Bond villain.

He is. He looks like one too. I don't, everyone hates data centers, right? And if you heard a data center was coming in your neighborhood, you probably hate it too. I don't know why they have to be so bad. Why are they noisy? Why are they above ground? Why do they consume so much water?

And I get cooling. But there's other ways to cool. computers. My computer doesn't use any water. Well, it does, but it just keeps recycling. You just described the two different kinds of data centers. The loud ones are the ones that aren't using as much water, that have all that

fan cooling, that have that constant droning. So it's two different solutions to the problem. You're either using all that water or you're using all that wind. The Chinese built a data center under the ocean that uses ocean water to cool it. Right? Where there's plenty of water.

It seems like these AI companies, for all the spending they do, it'd be a good investment to make the data center is not the most hated thing in America. It's a big political issue right now, like in this midterm cycle, the guys who are pro data center are losing votes because of it. Data centers, stop making everyone near you hate you. They got to do a better job of marketing the whole data center thing because they're losing that public like war of opinion. But I also, I don't want to be. you know, instinct against it because I could see this being the same way people were instinctively against like nuclear power because they were like, oh, look at this scary thing that happened

in Soviet Russia. And it's like, yeah, but we don't do that. We have hundreds of nuclear submarines that are, you know, bandying about having a good time all day, every day, but they're fine. There's no problems. Like, we've fucked up by not investing in nuclear decades ago. We got to, we got to have a mission-free, clean, cheap, plentiful power. And so I don't want to be like caught up in any sort of media frenzy against data centers, like in a way that's like overboard. But also it seems like people are really not stoked on having them around. Like why can't we just fill dog shit areas that nobody lives in with these? Like why do they have to be near someone's neighborhood if that upsets them? And also it seems like all the jobs. This is the big critique I, I, I, I, I, I,

totally stand with is all the jobs are in the initial construction and then it takes like three guys to run it. And so it's like short term building and then, but then also we can't stop building these things because China's not going to stop. And this is like a threat. If they get way ahead of us and they say I think, that's scary. Like it's about, you know, national sovereignty and security. I don't know. Elon's idea is to do the stuff is to do data centers in space. on that same podcast where he was talking about the shortage of turbines. It seems so expensive. We have so much dead land doing nothing with like even animals hate it.

It sounds absurd. I wish it wasn't like, look, I freely admit Elon has done amazing things in this world. And in his life, it's crazy that how much he gets done. He's simultaneously America's second biggest liar. And I wish the space data center talk was coming from someone more credible. I mean, he's the guy to do it. So like he explained the financials of it and how much cheaper the solar cells were that would go in space versus the ones that need to be on the ground because of any number of reasons. For one thing, they don't have to be built as heartily because they're in zero gravity.

But on Earth they might just fold and bend and warp. They don't need all the supportive structures. The cooling was another issue. You could do cooling much more easily. There was a bunch of things. And it all stands on the back of him making launch is cheaper. I think now he's doing a thing where not only the vehicle, but the rockets returns. Like every part that he sends up comes back.

So nothing is going to waste anymore. So would this be held up with just like a giant space ladder or some huge as extension? No, he would put it in orbit. Or so how does the power get from there back to here, though? Yeah, there's some sort of, well, that wouldn't be for power. The solar cells there would be powering a data center in space. with transferring information then okay yeah yeah yeah but he's also talked about

I mean there are talks about beaming electricity back from space from big solar collecting arrays that can be done I think you just lose a ton of the power and transfer you do kind of when you're like making big advancements and things like this you do need a weirdo because it's a weirdo who tends to do that stuff

the great man theory like if Elon was a completely normal guy who loved sports and shit. Like he wouldn't be, he wouldn't be making rockets that could reland. He wouldn't be doing any of that. Like,

you need a goo- glad that he's not an NFL billionaire who, who, like, like, he's not a Jerry Jones style billionaire who just cares about football. And he's got, he's clearly set on being like the richest man on the planet.

Clearly that's something that's important to him. And why wouldn't it be? It's really fucking cool that he's the first. It is. It is cool. It's really fucking cool. He's obviously a bit of a goober personally. But I don't know.

I like all of his. pie in the sky stuff. A lot of it's going to lead to advancements that'll be for the betterment of us all, I think, eventually. Probably. I like when he jumps in public. It's like, what a bad. He's so bad at jumping and he just does it. Over and over and over with some shoes. Very little clearance when he does his excited jumps. I didn't like it when he lied about being the greatest gamer.

Right? Was Path of Exile's game? I forget which game. He said he was great at. Diablo four, I think. Diablo four. Yep. Diablo four. Which is not even a game you'd lie about in that way. That's not even that kind of game. It's not like he was, you know, it's counterstrike or something. I think he can play Diablo mostly single player. It might have been POE because I remember I played a lot of.

No, it was Diablo 4. I remember specific. Okay, I'm not sure. That's a fun game. It's not a hard, a game that I think of is hard with a high skill ceiling as much as it is like a grindy game. You know, you. Right. So Elon used his excess free time to become the world's greatest Diablo 4 player.

No, he paid a Chinese guy. You know that, right? Did you think I thought he was the best keeper on the planet? I would fuck that guy up at any game. You're not the best goaltender. Sometimes they get past you, you know, your five holes open. I'm just checking, you know. True.

Love the reference. Thanks for that. But I get the fine of the sky. Yeah, Kyle's making good points. He's taking shots of me. He thought the football change shapes for Amazon games only. I remember that. That was so.

was like during a PKN a while ago and Kyle like reported to Woody and I like they're changing the shape of the football and immediately Woody and I click it and are like no they're not I I don't know about your and then Kyle like actually read the article and he's like no no this is just a perspective shape they could use in the future okay never mind no story no story no story yeah well but but I get the Pondas Sky thing but here's the question though like if you had essentially unlimited money Yeah, we're past the point of you just bought that Hot Wheels collection you always wanted or that baseball card or that car or whatever. Like, it seems like most people would feel some pressure to like do something with those level of resources to leave some sort of legacy or make the world a better place.

Some kind of inherent responsibility of I've got a trillion dollars. I could feed everybody on the planet. I could put it towards curing cancer. Like it would seem like you would have some sort of pressure. What I would do is I would support all the. sports teams I want in crazy monetary ways. Like I would I would give Missouri $60 million a year so that they were the Georgia. Like I I would I would fueled yes it is Georgia only has a payroll of like 40 40 million or something.

Oh yeah I saw the list and so that's why I said 60 I would go more why I just know that you all added that extension to your stadium and just the extension y'all what they had at Missou was like a big gap basically where the stands kind of curled around and there was this big gap in the middle and they filled the gap in with this huge fucking building that was a quarter billion dollars now it's a really nice stadium much nicer than when i went there since they added that but that's what i would i wouldn't be doing i wouldn't get hanky-panky trying to solve the world's problems i would just support all the things i like i would buy the teams i like i might even

buy the teams i don't like fuck them up like just actually I don't think that's allowed I don't think you can own more than one team that would be a conflict if you pay enough they might you are a trillionaire that's true yeah and I could just treat the rest of the central conference like a farm league

man this would be great I own the whole central imagine if you don't win don't even win the call don't even win them stealing now would you want to go all the way and like own your NFL team and call the plays like you could make yourself

the coach. There's no reason you can't. I don't have the acumen. I would really harm the team. Put together a bunch of whoever should have been the coach. He's your assistant now. But you get to wear the headset and hold the clipboard and point knowingly as your teams win. Okay. Yes. If I could fake it, that would be, I get to stand there. Oh, of course you can stand there.

Because I wouldn't want to replace, I think his name's Andy Reed, something Reed, the coach of the chiefs. Yeah. Because like every once in a while you see a coach on the sidelines and it's like a fit former player like a jacked 50 year old guy. And it's like this guy, this guy just knows his position. He doesn't know ball as well. You see Andy Reed that big fat Midwestern fuck. That's the football guy. That guy every night he's dreaming about football.

He's thinking about football. He's the most football looking guy I've ever seen. He looks like he dreams about subway sandwiches to me. Like, that's a meatball man. Extra Marinera. He is. He's a meatball guy. Yeah.

And they're always built like strict too. They got like little skinny legs and a giant torso. That's fine. You know. But yeah, I wouldn't have any pie in the sky things because they'd be like, oh, if you donate $8 billion, we can solve world hunger. And it's like, that's interesting. How much was donated already this year to world hunger? Oh, 25 billion.

Oh, interesting. Okay. So it hasn't. so you can't just stop it. I think I'd be interested in things that money can't buy for other people, like things that they don't sell at the store. So like the stuff that Elon is doing, if you take him at his word and he really wants to colonize the solar system, basically.

I think he does. That's the kind of stuff that I would want to do too as a trillionaire. Like that's a stuff like you can't buy that on a shelf. You have to make that happen with your trillion dollars. and an army of scientists and engineers and politicians to make that happen. And it's going to take a lifetime to do that with your trillion dollars anyway. I'd invest hundreds of billions into getting America fully independent of that crazy Middle East region with nuclear power. And then I would be assassinated by gas and natural like oil companies, oil and natural gas companies.

because they never fantasize about being super rich. My fantasies are usually about superpowers, right? Stopping time, flying invisibility, stuff like that. That's how I put myself to sleep at night. I bore myself into falling asleep by imagining what I would do if I woke up with basically homelander's powers or Superman's powers or whatever. You know, you can fly and you're instructable. And I swear to God, what I've come up with, like the best thing to do,

with that is to go to Elon Musk. You're like, hey, I can help you and you can help me. We should be partners. First of all, I can carry 10,000 pounds of rocket ship up to space powered by a subway sandwich. Okay, like I'll have a heavy lunch. I can probably get two of them up there. Did you have subway today?

You got that on mind. Yeah. I mean, they do have a new like two for one kind of thing going. Get those meatballs. They fill you up. They're delicious. They're delicious. Go to subway folks.

One of my friends was friends. with Jared before Jared's downfall. Yes, he told us about it. Yeah. Oh my God, that guy's your friend? The subway guy? No, my God. He was a friend of mine was friends with him formally.

I know. We talked to that guy. Right, but you said it funny. You said he was friends with the subway guy. He's friends with Rabbit or something? I forget his name. Oh, Travis. Travis Bell used to know him, but my friend detached himself from Jared

long before Jared's downfall. but so we had a guy come on we had a guy come on who was like Jared's best friend and I don't know I don't think that's why he was the guest I think he had something other than that that was a car guy okay in the Vinwiki universe

that's what it was and oh it was probably Travis a big tall bald guy makes a license sweat yeah Travis is awesome maybe yeah I think so I remember he was defending Jared he was defending Jared through the whole thing and he he called the the children that Jared molested

ladies of the night. Said they got paid. I don't know what's true. That's what he said. Well, you know, he was basically like, who's to say? There was a whole miasma of happenings around what's going on with Jared. And it's like, yeah, but it seems like he was trying to fuck like 13 year olds or something. Yeah, like mouse. They were 14.

I'm sure of themselves, children is what it was. It was literally, you look at every one of those girls was a, a mousy looking 12 or 13 or 14 year old who wasn't very popular and suddenly a sandwich celebrity is hitting you up in your DMs. That's why I've sworn off the sweet onion and chicken terriagi. It's a moral thing. You too won't do it.

That's the only good seniors they have. Their Italian is despicable, horrible. Really, all their sandwiches are not good. They're just, it's not a good place. Their bread is weird. What are they doing to their bread that other places that make bread don't? Why does it taste? Why is the texture off?

All their bread has a lot of texture. It's not bread. It's gotten weird in the last few years. And they're also in like gas stations most of the time. And like something about like fresh cut tomatoes in a gas station just makes me seem a little. And they're not even fresh cut. Like they're those tomatoes. You can see the slices and they're translucent.

There isn't a lick of flavor in that entire slice. None of them. They have dog shit tomatoes. But anyway, it does seem like he, you know. So Chris, I'm not a fan of Jared. YouTube has been pumping. these Murphy diesel videos at me. Are they competitors of yours?

Are you guys rivals? Do you dislike them? What, like, what is the relationship? Oh, no, no, they're cool. I mean,

they're, I'd say, yes, we compete in the same universe, but we're friends. I know, we're friends. Like,

we had a truck breakdown in Arizona. Rick loaned us a truck. Like, he comes into town. We all hang out. We're all friends. Everybody in that sort of off-road universe, you know,

Heavy D diesel day, Rick Murphy, Rory Trail Mader, Matt's off Frederick, all of us, like we're all like friends. We go hanging out and go wheeling together. We trade tools. Like everybody's on the same team. We're just all kind of in the most capable, right? If I got a crane stuck in the mud, a big one, who do I call?

Okay, so really big stuff. Yeah, probably heavy D because he's got like some of the big rotators and the big kind of equipment. You know, Rick, Rick, Rick's a great marketer and he's a really good dude. But like his big truck is not street legal. it's oh yeah yeah I mean he's he's great at it he's good in those sort of family road trip stuff i mean our specialty is like things that literally nobody else can get if it's a thousand feet down a cliff and it's been down there for 25 years or it's stuck in the mud a thousand yards of anything you can winch to or it's up some you know high-end trail that you can only get to

with some four-wheel steer rock buggy like that's our thing is like the stuff nobody else can do So we're we've actually been doing a lot more of like trail cleanup kind of stuff like getting cars that have been like stolen and abandoned off on like a lot of the reservations out here or out of National Forest cars that were like stolen and ditch 20 years ago and all the roads degraded so much a tow truck can't get it out or like something on private property or some of them which are you know it's kind of a sensitive topic. But like a lot of times if let's say somebody goes off a cliff and they don't make it. And they're. their body was taken out months before, but now the car is still at bottom of this ravine. And the poor guy's wife's getting a call from State Farm once a month. I want to know, like, where's the car? Can we get it out yet? We want our money. I mean, it just kind of makes it kind of harder for her to heal and move on.

So we've traveled like two days. We've been to Montana, Canadian border, Mexican border, California, Colorado, all over, sort of like giving families some closure to some of these events that, whether it's just a bad reminder, or they just can't move forward. There was one. I was not on this particular job, but a bunch of kids went off a cliff like back in the 90s, and their truck has been stuck like a thousand feet up a cliff above town for the last 25 years. And every time their mom goes to church, she has to like look up the mountain and see that truck hanging there. And it's just kind of a wound. So like we've been doing a lot of those kind of projects.

And we don't charge for what we do. The YouTube channel pays for the recovery. So we go out free of charge, just kind of clean up these trails, clean up these riverbeds. no i mean if it's somebody i mean people will give us a tip if it's just some little side job where somebody's got their truck stuck out and sent hollow or there's some little job they might give us a hundred bucks or something uh if they're a real jerk or something we might hit them up for gas money but but no it's all free you know the channel and we do like bet the jobs out because there are people who will go out and get stuck just so they can try to be on an episode

so we do kind of vet them out and you know it's uh but yeah i mean it's It's, we don't charge it. It also gets kind of slippery with that. So like if you're doing it for free and you bend something on their car or, and this is kind of talking out of school or this is not the business side of things that I do. But, you know, if we just do it for entertainment, we're helping them out. There's no real money. And there's not from a legal standpoint.

I think that kind of insulates us a little bit. I mean, we don't tear anybody stuff up. But sometimes, you know, things like. If you winch it up a cliff, it's going to get messed up. Yeah, exactly. Something's going to happen. I mean, a lot of the vehicles that we get are already toast, so there's just an insurance company claim waiting on it. But I think by not charging, it kind of insulates this.

But really, it's just something, I mean, Matt started that. Matt's a really good dude. And, you know, when you're out having a good time with your buddies and you sunk your truck in a river, it fell off a cliff, your day's bad enough. And for somebody to hit you with a $3,000 tow bill or some of these big travel jobs can be five figures to haul us and the equipment and hotels and people and gas and all that. So it's just cleaner to just not charge and let it be part of the channel. The video pays for it. I wish they talked about the charging more. I saw one.

This is Murphy's Diesel. Maybe you've seen this video. But a truck stuck at Salt and Sea. Salt and C if people don't know. Like the top 18 inches is like regular dirt, but under that it gets really soft and mushy. And if you drive something really heavy. Like a tractor filled with water in the tires,

that's what they do to make them heavy and whatever. As it drives by, you can see the dirt, like, move in a wave. Anyway, big truck got stuck. They bring out, like, a big tractor with quad tires. It gets stuck. Eventually, there's five stuck vehicles in there, and they spend, like, four days towing it out. I was like, what does it cost?

Did he charge $75 grand to get them out? Like, you'd think it'd be a lot. There's no one else who, well, there's not many people who can do it. Oh, yeah. And it is really expensive to do. I mean, just the upkeep. on the vehicles. I mean, the stuff that we break, I mean, we're melting winches. We're tearing up tires, breaking suspension links. You've got to haul a 12,000 found vehicle, 3,000 miles or 2,000

miles or 1,000 miles. You got a crew of 10 people, hotels, food. I mean, it is expensive. In Alaska, where he built a barge so that he could grab the equipment and put it on the lake and float it out. And at most of the video, I didn't see the recovery yet. It's not out. But most of the video is him building a barge. He welds it up. up. Yeah, we built some pontoons for our record a while back. And that's kind of that sort of rivalry thing. Like, we built pontoons for our record truck to take it out on the lake to go, like we were donating a car to go to the scuba diving school. So we let something like the search and rescue people run it into the water. And then we picked it up off the bottom and then hauled it over and lowered it down where we're going to put it. And then, so then Rick built his bar. There's a little bit of competitiveness. You know, we do one thing. Somebody will do it bigger. but yeah we're all friends in the day but yeah these videos it's kind of a gamble i mean you can you got to come up if you're going to do a big project like that like you've got to make sure it's going to be a six-figure video otherwise you're going in the hole and with a big operation like

ours i mean there's i mean a couple of dozen employees equipment the stuff we break consumables you guys said i mean it's a 10 000 a day operation just to run a channel like that let alone you know profitability and growth and that sort of thing. And again, I'm talking out of school. I'm more of the say funny stuff on camera and pull a wintraub guy. Like, I'm, this is not my department. But it's definitely a big machine. And some of these channels that do these big, huge recoveries, they are 100% bet in the farm sometimes that this video is going to pay for that. Because if it doesn't, if your video sucks or it tanks or your editor can't pull it together, whatever, you can go in the whole big time on something really quickly. So it's, it is a gamble. But, but, you know, most

people, most people that get stuck out in the middle of nowhere, something like that, like they just physically cannot afford that kind of recovery. You know, AAA is not going to pay $65,000 for somebody to come out there and a snow cat and pull you off of a salt flat. Like, it's just not in the cards. So with these people, you just, I mean, you can't send them a bill for it. They don't have it. You know, they're out there with their kids. They put a family vacation together. Now they've got a $10,000 recovery on their hands. And, you know, we do it because we can. And again, the video covers it. And, you know, we got sponsor money, that kind of stuff.

So it all works out from a business standpoint. But yeah, nobody's getting a bill on our channel. It's pretty cool. Yeah, I was wondering. Because some of the tractors I've seen, I think they cost a quarter million dollars that get recovered. Oh. And I'm like, if they charged a hundred grand to recover a quarter million dollar John Deere,

I guess you'd have to pay it, right? Like, yeah, you know, there's how many people competing, you know, to get it out. This is one guy with a quote. Kyle, I've had a question for you. I've been sitting on this fan service question for weeks. Whatever happened to your red couch? Where is it now? It's in my dad's house.

Oh, it's okay. Is it in the house or is it like in his workshop? Where did it land? I had it in his guitar room for a while, but then I didn't see it last time I was there. And I think he threw it away would be my best guess. Or perhaps someone like some character like Jeremy. may have even acquired it i'll ask him next time he'd definitely take a third-hand couch for i want you to follow up on the red couch lore i i think the people want to know keep us i doubt it but i

will dig deep no people are dude i was watching a wings of redemption like timeline thing on it and i saw the red couch because you know sometimes we show up in the wing stuff and the chat was just the the comments on the video we're all like look at the red couch there's the the red couch. I remember the red couch. That was a partner on the show for quite some time. Fair. I did sit in the red couch for a long time. Yeah. I'll find out what became of it.

But yeah, it sat in his little like jammed studio for a while where he's got his like, you know, all his music shit set up. Well, speaking of you reacquiring the red couch, do you know what I acquired within the last week?

Yeah, you've got a 24-inch globe. It's not 24-inch think it's an 18 inch globe. Oh, is it only 18? This past Saturday. I'll do that on purpose. Of course he did.

This past Saturday, Missou and Ole Miss were playing. I have obviously lots of friends from Missouri in touch with, and then also a couple of my close friends went to Ole Miss. and so we went to their place, watched the game, terrible game, never even talk about it.

But it drinking all day. And then I get home after we're watching football all day. And I'm like, Man, I really want a better globe. And so I go on Amazon and I start looking at globes. And I found one that I guess I liked that drunk Taylor liked. And it's like an 18 inch enormous globe. And it should have clued me in that it was huge. 18 inches that's long to you. But it would, yes, you're about to see this. And it. There's nowhere to put this. There's nowhere to put this in my house. It's going to have to sit. I don't even. even know. Can you cut in half and make it a bar like those old ones? It was one of those things where like the next morning.

I like was like I think I bought like I think I bought something stupid last night. And I check. I spent $160 on a globe. And it's. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, no frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50. month. Learn more at no-frills.ca.

Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early.

Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. or call 1866 5 through 1, 2,600. Terms and conditions apply. I like it. That is big.

Oh, wow, it's bigger than I thought 18 inches was going to be. That's what I thought. I was like, this is crazy. And then it showed up in a gigantic box. It even has topographical stuff on it, which is great. I'm a huge fan of that. That's good. Kind of debunks Neil deGrasse Tyson's thing, doesn't it?

This globe, but it's a wonderful globe. Look at the, look at this. globe. It's a really good one. I'm 100% going to keep this out in my main area until my wife just, you just can't handle it looking ugly there anymore. Because even today, I was sitting around like, and I walk past it. And I would sit there for like 15 minutes looking at the countries and spinning it around and being like, where, you know, do you know where Gabon is? And I'm like, I think I know where Gabon is. Let's me see if it's exactly. where I think of it. Yes, I win.

Or where's Sierra Leone or whatever. It's a solid globe. It's a wonderful globe. It's not worth $160. Don't buy Globes drunk. I always go straight to the controversial areas. Like, ooh, where's the Israeli border on this globe? Let's check that out. Oh, I haven't even checked that yet.

Yeah. I was looking at Southeast Asia. I think it's cool. I mean, I'm a world traveler. I've always loved maps and things. Like when I was a kid, like my brother and I shared a room like in a sort of an attic, you know, like the ceiling. kind of came to a point.

And my parents had National Geographic. I would pull all the maps out and, like, wallpaper at my room with the maps and we just lay there in my bed. Like, I imagine all these road trips and things. And it's cool. And globes, though, are extra cool because you really get that relationship of, like, you know, you're on the total different side of the planet or you can really see that half the planet is a specific ocean.

And seeing all the relative parts, it's groovy, man. I dig your globe. I think it's a, that's a fun thing about globes is you really see we're only working with, like, 60% of the planet. Like there's a lot of it's just nonsense. Water. Like who even cares about that? Well, I care about it.

It's mostly water. It's mostly water. I like like the unexpected latitudes where like London, England is pretty much even with like the southernmost part of Alaska or like Scotland's up there with like almost like anchorage. I mean like Europe is so much farther north than you think. Like if you just went straight east from like New York City. You're going to be like the south of France, like, like Toronto and the south of France are on the same latitude close to it. Like everything's really like or like Florida is the closest part of America. Excuse me.

Maine is the closest part of America to Africa, not Florida. Because the way it all. Yeah. Because the country lanes out. Yeah. And like globes, you can really see that kind of stuff a lot better. I think they're cool. Yeah.

It's not at all the way normal maps look because. They have this fun thing where it's like if you just travel straight out from like North Carolina or something across the whole ocean, what are you going to hit? If you're just thinking about the flat map, you're like, oh, it'd probably hit somewhere in the Mediterranean. Who's to say? Like maybe it bumps against like Portugal or something. No, it goes like to central Africa because of the shape of the globe. It's really cool. Globes are awesome.

Maps are awesome. I have a friend of mine who fits into this story two different ways. One, you said you get drunken by Globes. He was from Wales, and he would get drunken by fire trucks in other countries. And he's got all these hilarious stories about having to go to Germany and drive a fire truck back from Germany to Wales. But he's another Vinwicky dude. But also, he now lives in New Zealand. And I don't know if this is factually true or this is just hyperbole.

But he literally tried to go as far away on earth from his hometown in Wales as he could get. it like according to him where he lives in New Zealand is like polar opposite to where he started from in Wales which is kind of funny that must be the furthest unless he wants to live on like fucking Tuvalu like some tiny

little island country or Hawaii might be even a bit closer yeah but Hawaii's up like way north of the equator though I mean he's like total other side of the Taylor flexing his geography knowledge with places no one heard of

Hawaii. No, I don't know where Chubaloo is though. It's one of those bullshit countries. Is Tulu the one that's down in like, like the South Atlantic there between like Africa and like Brazil sort of down that way? Like,

uh, I, I thought it was like far east Pacific. Like I might be in. Point Nemo kind of. I mean, which is just a point.

Point Nemo is the point at in. Farthest away. Antarctica. That's the furthest from. land. Tuvalu is located in the West Central Pacific Ocean within the Polynesian sub region of Oceania. Oh.

Can you wait about a big way between Hawaii as us and Australia. Yes. And they have a little good time down there. I don't know what they do on Tuvalu but I bet pork has a lot. I bet pork has a lot to do with it.

Whatever they're doing there. I bet they live off a spam because there's nothing there to eat. That's what I'm saying. Pork's a big part. Like, that's all their munchin on. I don't think it's like native pork. They're not slaughtering pigs. I think probably one of those places where they're importing all their food.

And it's some, it'd be a good setting for a horror movie. All of those isolated island communities seem weird to me and closed off. They could easily, like, have, you know, some sort of community, small communities have secrets anyway, but an island like that that's cut off from everything. And I always, I don't know anything about it, but I always see in movies, they always have that sort of, oh, mainlander, eh, sort of attitude about outsiders. Cannibals, yeah, two cannibals eating a clown.

One turns the other and says, does this taste funny? You know what? There's a lot of, like, geopolitical stuff where they're like China, America, Russia. These people are running the show here. We're always coming at the top. why don't we encourage the bottom to get it together? Like, oh, you're sick of being bullied by Russia, Kazakhstan? Get it together.

Oh, you're sick of being bullied by China, South Korea? Get it together. Like, we have too much attacks for the topmost countries and not enough get it together's for the bottom ones. That's what I'm running on. And that's everyone's going to. I hate it, but it's pulling up by your bootstraps

foreign policy. They're like, oh, Russia is out of control. We can't handle them over here. And it's like, well, then probably...

Defend yourself, Lichtenstein. Yeah. Sounds like Estonia has... That sounds like an Estonia problem to me. Yeah, I have road trip to Estonia. It is definitely the most like old school

Soviet-looking country that's still around over there. But little countries can hang on, though. Like Ukraine's been holding Russia off with like Home Alone pranks for half a decade. They've been heating up, they've been heating up doorknobs and breaking light bulbs. But also, Ukraine's a large country. It's the largest non-Russia European country.

Very poor country. Yeah, I don't know. Did you guys hear about them slowing down Starlink? I think it's called Star Shield on the military side. You familiar with this? Yeah. Oh, no, Taylor? I know they were using Starlink over there.

They're using it. I'm new. I just sort of brushing up on this. Yeah, I guess there's a parallel Starlink for military stuff called Star Shield. And the Tesla or SpaceX makes it all happen, but America somehow owns it and runs it. I read. I don't know. And they made the bandwidth shrink a ton.

They made it not work for objects traveling quickly so the drones can't navigate anymore. They shut it down and then Russia immediately attacked, almost like it was coordinated. And this has happened more than once. Zelensky offered peace. He's like, you know, we could just stop fighting and Russia could just keep all the land they had. Russia's like, fuck, no. America's on your alley. We're going to double team you.

And just the whole momentum in Ukraine has shifted because America is now buying oil, lifting the sanctions on Russia. for everything and fucking with Ukraine's telecom infrastructure, which I guess is Tesla, you know, SpaceX stuff. And we have basically turned our backs on Ukraine and sided with Russia. Are we giving stuff to Russia? The Russians are, I'd have to look at the details again because I don't memorize everything I read, but basically they're paying Trump's friends.

Like they're giving money to Trump's crony. They're kind of, it's corruption is what it is. Trump and his friends are getting rich off deals from Putin, and they've turned their backs on our ally and lined up with Russia. Russia's providing targeting data to the Iranians to strike our assets in the Middle East region. And I wouldn't be surprised if there's a bit of quid pro quo there, where Trump wants them to stop doing that. And so he's, he literally asked Elon Musk to slow down Starlink over Ukraine,

and they did and then the Russians attack but then they did speed it back up like it's you know now that was a day I think it was for a day and a half or two days or something like that it's back slowed again though interesting it wasn't a one time thing yeah which opened a window for the Russians to attack

as if it was coordinated I mean I would imagine they'd have the ability to detect that somehow where they're like they've they no longer have access to this like whether it's a... It's just slowed down. And drones traveling at a certain speed can no longer be tracked.

Like, that's another way. They basically disabled Ukraine's ability to fight back by making it so the drones can't be, don't work on Wi-Fi anymore. It's, in my mind, some really immoral shit. And it seems to be to get Trump's friends paid off. Maybe. I don't know. I haven't kept up with Ukraine.

The Ukraine war is such a... It didn't occur in a vacuum. It didn't occur in a vacuum. You have the Russians again providing targeting data for the Iranians, but you also had that big fuel deal that recently went through where Trump is buying diesel from the Russians. Yeah. I'm sure.

And then you also have the American prisoner being released in Russia. Like these things aren't happening in a vacuum. They're all part of the same backroom negotiations. Remember when we lost the Lord of Death or something? because we trained for a WNPA player. First of all, he's the Lord of War, okay? Don't sensationalize this. Yes, they did make a movie about him.

I saw an interview with that guy where they're like, what did you think when they let you go? And he's like, I thought question was, what was needed to get me? And then I hear this and frankly insulted. Like that is all it took to get me back to being the blood kingpin of Russia. You do the Russian accent very well, by the way. That's really impressive.

Yeah, that we need to have better trades for bad guys in the future. Like if I went to Russia and I was, or I guess if I went to, well, yeah, Russia is a better example. of Russia and I started stealing paintings off like hotel lobbies and stuff because that's the thing that got that guy of auto warm beer in trouble in North Korea where he stole some propaganda poster

but if I did that in Russia and the U.S. government was like we're going to trade for Taylor for you know the kill king I'd be like no you shouldn't the butcher of Yugoslavia for Taylor

yeah well certainly I'd get home and be ashamed the whole time I'd be like oh my god like I got traded for that guy and then that WNBA player had none of that she like got home and immediately it was like why it takes so long and it's like

fucking bitch like we just lost you know the Russian blood king for you have you seen because you wanted to bring some weed on a basketball trip yeah exactly because you want to bring a vaping to okay we can all We can all understand what she did. Okay.

We all wrap her heads around. Kyle, I know you're the biggest pothead among us. And I also know all four of us, if we're flying to Russia, we are not dancing with the devil. We're not doing that. You just go without for a while. Yeah, I wouldn't bring any contraband into Russia. I wouldn't fly into Russia to begin with because I feel like they would just maybe say you had something and lock you away if they so wanted. I think I don't think of it as a, I think of it as a corrupt place.

I mean, I think of here is a bit of a corrupt place. So there has to be worse. Certainly. I don't think there's any country of any, like, global importance that isn't corrupt. Like, that's where corruption breeds. There's no, like, little finger talking to the president of Lithuania being like, yes, and after this, you'll send all seven of your men here. Like, no, like, corruption is going to breed near power, right? I think it was Benjamin Franklin.

on that level, though. I'm just saying that's who's going to be targeted by corruption, are the powerhouses, like whether it's financial or whatnot. But there's levels to this corruption, right? Like, one of the reasons India is not doing better than it is, is the whole government runs on corruption. One of the reasons Russia is not doing better than it is the government runs on corruption. And now America does too.

I mean, it just depends on. Were we always that corrupt and just had better than you are? Don't you feel like this is a new thing? Like, Trump, sending military deals to his son's drone company right everyone went bonkers when hunter work for that ukrainian power plant but trump's sons are doing that 10 times over he got a million dollars a million dollars is not shit and compared to what we're doing in this regime right we have then like yet all like the dick cany was the haliburton and all that i mean this has been

going worse it was corrupt of course it was super corrupt but i i agree with you on the dick j anything Trump seems more petty and more into personally, like, profiting. Like, he's so open and brazen about it, and he does it over and over. And after a while, it's kind of like the stuff he would say at speeches. It's like, did you hear what he said? It's like, which time? Which time? Like, he's talking about shooting people.

He's saying, leakers should be shot. Yeah, that's his new little line. Like, leakers should be shot. Leakers are no better than dogs. And you know what? Actually, reporters who lie are basically leakers. They are. They leak.

They make it up and they leak it. And it's like, you can follow his train of thought there. Like, it wasn't an accident. He's saying that reporters who say bad things about him should be shot. And then, you know, they're constantly roughing people up at those rallies now. Like, I'm seeing people getting knocked around left and right. And he's up there, get her. Get her.

It's kind of funny. But at the same time, you know, it's, it's rough to see. People want to act like it was always this way, but this is something new. This is another level of corruption and just lack of morality. Well, as Ben Franklin said, I either want less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it. Yeah. Well, that is, if he said that, that's pretty. I've heard he supposedly said that.

I don't know if that's true. It sounds more like Mark Twain, but it sounds as Benjamin Franklin once. famously said two in the pink one in the stink. Now he probably did say that. He was a pretty funny dude. Yeah, he had some pretty funny quotes about banging old women and all kind of stuff. You know who I want to play?

He was going to Florida or not in Florida. He's going to France getting fucking crazy French STDs and then coming back and just letting it ride. Like kind of King. Danny DeVito should play him in a biopic. They'd be perfect. Oh, that would be great. If Danny DeVito, I don't think he can do biopics.

He's just too short. Like, no one thinks Ben Franklin was 411. Like, he was probably 5'10 or something. We could see some Lord of Rings Force perspective stuff. We just expand him on the screen. Yeah, we have a series of body doubles. He looks like Kingpin because he's been expanded and his shoulders are so wide now. I love that.

When you dig deep about like the founding fathers and these guys that you learned about in school. Of course you got like the sterilized version, the version that's for kids. And then you look into these guys and they're all like pimps and whoremongers and just like all about it. They had STDs and gambling and criminal stuff.

And some autistic geniuses. Yeah, kids with their slaves and all kind of stuff. Like Adams, Jefferson, those guys were bright. Like they were. They were smart dudes. I guess. I mean,

the average guy probably didn't read too good at the time. Like, how smart did you have to be to stand out in colonial America, really? Are you serious? Incredibly smart. A hundred years ago, we taught Latin and Greek in high schools. And now we have college students who struggle with remedial English. The idea that we are smarter and our standards are higher academically than 100 years ago, 120 years is crazy. It was so much harder.

I would have guessed Kyle was right. I speak Greek, Italian, Latin, every language of the plan. No, you don't. That thing in your hand does. And I hold it, all right? All right. You think it's not like George Washington single-handedly fought off the British shirt. Oh, is every college student in America cheating with AI now because they're so brilliant?

That's neither here. No. No, it is. In 1920, they had high schools that made you learn to speak Latin. and now we like have people who don't know how semi-colons or colon- I don't know why Latin is so much more impressive than Spanish right like everyone everyone in my high school had to speak language everyone in my college had to speak a language

it's because legalese is so based on it's a Latin based I don't think what a horseshit explanation because legalese is based on Latin they use like 10 Latin words I'm just saying they I mean that's why it's because it's the The origin of our language.

It doesn't make it a good choice. I feel like if kids learn Latin, everyone in America would say, what a waste of time. What a terrible thing to learn. They should be learning Chinese and Spanish. I had to take Latin classes and they sucked and I didn't like them. But even if it was,

even if you change the language, just make it Greek, make it Spanish. Like if 110 years ago, high school students were required to be somewhat, adept at Spanish. And then now they are neither adept in English nor Spanish. And you still pass everyone.

Like that's a problem. Like the standards were higher back in the day. Yeah. Well, like with my first wife could read and write and speak Latin. And I guess it theoretically gives you a leg up on learning other Latin-based languages. But I mean, as far as efficacy, though, like, you know, everything like, like in a, like I was painting a mural one time at this church. And like they would rent their spaces out for like extracurricular sports and

activities stuff. And there was a fencing club that met there. And it's in like Dunwitty, Georgia, which is just a nice suburb of Atlanta. It's a bunch of rich kids taking fencing. And I'm just painting and these kids are walking behind me. And I hear one of them say like they're in like eighth or ninth grade, hey man, what language are you going to take in high school? And one kid's like, I think I'm going to take Spanish because I can talk to all the people

around here. And the other kid said, Spanish is, man, all the guys that watch my dad's car speak Spanish, learned something cool like German. And I was like, wow, all the guys that watched my dad's cars speak Spanish. But same time, though, like every person I know that speaks German also speaks French and English and three other languages. Everybody in Norwegians, the Danes, they all speak seven languages. If I could speak fluent Spanish, I run into people all the time who I cannot communicate with because I just do not have. of conversational Spanish.

I can read a little bit. But like, you know, I think schools should look at that. Like, I mean, A, I do believe people should still learn English when they come here and we should not have to like change things to fit other languages. But like to invest as a high school kid or a college kid to invest in a language that every, I mean, every French speaker can speak English. Every German speaker can speak English. But you run into a lot of Spanish speaking people who that's all they got.

And it could really affect your day, whether or, you know, not you can interpret what they're saying or tell if somebody's going to roll up on you or just read you. Dude, you'll see like news stories where it's like woman who's lived here for 39 years is deported back to Columbia. And then they're interviewing her and they're like, you know, what do you think about this? She's like, oh, he's not so good. I know, no, no, blah English. And it's like 40 years. You couldn't figure it out and fill out a fucking. bit of paperwork, stop it. Get the hell out of here.

I mean, I would go out in Gainesville, Georgia, three days in a row you wouldn't hear anybody speak in English. Oh, yeah. I mean, it is a minor language. And, you know, areas of Atlanta like that. And you can go somewhere, well, like, there's so many people from India, for example, move into, like, north central Georgia,

that sort of Forsyth County area. And like, if you, like, if I move to India, for example, and somebody said, hey, there's this area of India, there's 750,000 Americans that live here. Well, I could just land right in the middle of that. I don't have any trouble. Everybody I run into speaks my language. Am I going to have to really learn Hindi if everybody around me speaks English? Probably not. And I think there's so many people here that can just immerse themselves in another copy of their culture here that, yeah, they don't have to get the language skills. But you're like with the CDLs, like with the whole thing like with California giving CDLs to like non-English speakers, like you got people out there driving heavy trucks that can't read. slippery when wet or 6% incline or whatever some really necessary traffic information ahead that they can't read it because they don't read that like that seems highly dangerous to have somebody driving an 80,000 pound vehicle that cannot interpret a sign that's going to

determine whether or not they flatten a family or not. Dude, I saw an Indian truck driver video like cab video of him and his like Indian buddy driving and they just made a wildly illegal neglectful turn. then a car with a family in it. And the family was actually a Haitian, like immigrant family just barreled into the side of it. The whole family's dead immediately. It's obvious that it's a huge accident. And it shows like the video cam footage of the Indian truck driver in his cab at the time it happens.

And he is so nonplussed. He is so like whatever. Like who even care? Like this is just because he, he's from Indian. like he's he thinks this is still a low death day like that only five people died so typically he kills more than that a day well that's a funny way to put it I looked up there's that sort of like hold on hold on hold on I waited like 10 minutes to get a word you're good you're good so I looked up the student thing I'd be the topic from way back

way um it was more competitive than I thought it turns out the old students were stronger in like multiplication tables and a lot of basic stuff, long division, while the new students, that was the old business, the new students were way better at like algebra, trigonometry, graphing and what they called like application of math. So basic math, multiplication tables, the old students had it, higher level math, the new students have it, but they wouldn't be as good at say long division. But is that tech contingent? tech contingent

like as in like they have access to tech that can do those that's probably why they don't stress long division and shit like that and move on to graphing and whatever and then on the English side it was it was kind of comparable but English handwriting and penmanship the old students got it spelling the old students did better but writing an essay and like English reasoning

the new students did better so it's like they move past the basics and go on to the persuasive stuff in English and maybe don't get the basics down quite as well, like spelling. But I also think like, I had this thought recently. How should schools use AI? Because maybe spending too much time on long division isn't a good use of time. I don't know. I asked the question. We were told we wouldn't have calculators in our pockets all the time, but it turns out we do.

So maybe you do focus on things like how you apply the math instead of how to work out out there basic math on paper. And I'm like, what do you do with AI? You know, because in the real world, you're going to have access to AI, but you also can't let it do all your thinking for you. You can't just give it a prompt and turn in a paper. I don't know how the best way to teach around AI is, but it seems like we face something similar with calculators.

Yeah, I think it's bigger than calculations. calculators majorly because it's like forcing people to write and to speak cogently is important. And if you're outsourcing all sentence structure, grammar and whatnot to this engine, you're never going to learn it. You're going to speak like a fool. You're going to sound like a moron all the time. I don't agree with that though. No?

No. I think most of how I learned and everyone learned to speak is based on modeling. You know, and if you use bad grammar every day, it probably. rub off on me. And, you know, that same thing is true with AI and stuff. Like if you just rub elbows with good grammar and good spelling all the time, then you'll be that guy too, right? Not if you're not if you're not thinking it through. Like not if you're not reviewing the things you're submitting and like looking at how it's structured. Like if you have a write my essay ability, I don't think most kids are going to do much more than just type in, write the essay on this.

And then they're not going to read through it. They're not going to parse the language. They're just going to submit it because, and now, because that's the new standard where, like, there are college professors posting stuff online on occasion. I could probably find one where they are, like, bemoaning the fact that their average grade level for, like, in class participation. is like 40 points below the at home stuff because they just have the AI do it at home. And then when push comes to shove and they have to actually do this in person, they don't have the sauce.

Mm-hmm. I agree. I mean, I don't interact with the public directly, but like reading through the comments of videos and interacting with thousands of people in a way, like communication is terrible. I mean, yeah, people,

they forget semicolins and colones. I mean, just subject verb agreement, adjectives versus adverbs. Spelling is just abysmal. And it's like there's no, nobody's getting shamed at that. There's no like spelling bee anymore where like you're going to get shot called in the third grade because you can't spell perceive right.

Like now it either just autocorrects or nobody even blanks. You'll see people in interviews. I mean, people who are politicians and administrators, people who should be holding the standard the highest that get away with, whether it's abonics or just basins. bad grammar or something. And I mean, I'm not the smartest man in the world, but I'd like to think I can speak and write pretty educatedly.

But these days, if you can drive a manual transmission and write cursive, you're like a damn wizard. I'll talk to people on Facebook. Yeah. I like to go on Facebook Marketplace and look for weird stuff. And I'll talk to these people sometimes, and they don't have a firm grasp on the English language.

And I'll, like, go back to their picture. And I'm like, fuck, he's white. This doesn't make any sense. I thought this was going to be like, some Guatemalan immigrant who literally is using speaking spell to communicate with me. Like, I'm forgiving his mistakes. I'm not a English speaker. And then I see his name's like Brad Smith or some shit.

It's like, whoa, this guy's just a moron. And I'm so tempted to be mean, but I can't do that. Yeah. Then nobody's going to pick up your old hutch. Now I don't get the hard for it. Exactly. Are the people that talking like they type like a vanity plate? Like, like what you be?

doing or something, you know, like they truncate everything into these short little, and I just, I refuse to participate in that or just me too, but they call me old for it. Oh, I know, me too. No, you're right to not participate in that. I mean, I'm from the internet. I'm okay if you shorten some stuff and use some leit speak, but at some point, we've got to all understand what you're talking about. Some of these people just freeballing it.

They're just making stuff up and cramming words together. It's definitely, the educational system is definitely bad. I think it's always been bad. I mean, my school was terrible. I always thought, like, the food was terrible. It reminds me so much of federal prison. Like, if you want to know what federal prison looks like, it looks like your high school. It's those painted block walls.

And everything looks as cheap as it can be plastic chairs and fucking stainless steel. I forgot about the painted wall. It's coming back to me. Painted block walls. And that's, if you were lucky enough to have a painted block wall. A lot of kids were in a goddamn double-wide trailer outside. Richest country in the world, my ass.

Let me talk about this painted block walls. It's like back when I was painting a lot of murals, a lot of times it would be in a school or something. It would be on some painted block wall. And back in like the 80s or 90s, they'd find this like oil-based subway paint that like, so like graffiti and paint won't stick to it. And I have like quoted a job

and then realized I had to completely strip a cement painted what takes days. I have blown my profitability out of the water of murals so many times having to like completely chemical strip a block wall to paint it again. Oh, it sucks. You spray something on it, let it sit and it dissolves the paint maybe. Oh, it's not even now. You got to like get in there and like grind it off like old-scale tape stuff off,

make a dexter serial killer room, grind it off, resurface it, kills it, prime it, adhesion promoter. They make a product called towel strip, or at least that's what we call it for automotive paint and you put that stuff on a painted car and you know it bubbles the paint up and you just scrape it with like a wire brush and you're down to like shiny steel yeah that would work sometimes but it just it's so grainy it like soaks into all those pores yeah yeah yeah it was a mess but i'm with you on schools like you know the a long time ago i've heard they kind of stopped teaching like handwriting in school like a few friends that are teachers like they stopped teaching handwriting they

stop teaching spelling because the computer are auto-correct for you or you're just going to be typing so there's no need. I mean, forget cursive. They're not even writing like the little, you know, the big letters with the dots in the middle to get your lowercase and uppercase right. Like, everything should be all-cats. They don't

even do phonics anymore. They don't not everywhere does phonics. So booburn. Everything should be all caps, Woody. You know, you don't go to an Egyptian pyramid and see like a lowercase guy going like this, you know? all right they had it figured out

you watch youtube shorts on a television boomer I take oh fact check true I have other devices no switch for Woody totally dominated I was telling him before the show I am now the second oldest person on this show

Kyle has passed me that's uh that's how it works I was in caps to gain Christopher's attention because I didn't know if he was going to notice the message in the side I was trying to make it big What was the more like? Yeah, I'm kind of hyper-focused,

so I am kind of missing the message on the sideboard. But yeah. Yeah, the all-caps thing, it's like the opposite of like, it's like an E.E. Cummins poem where everything's in lowercase with no punctuation. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm old, so you do have to get my attention more. Do you guys remember, or am I, like, aged out under you guys with the hooked on phonics thing? Oh, yeah.

hooked on phonics? You were hooked on phonics? Oh, from, from like the earliest days. My mom spent so much time. I don't know who she was competing against, but she wanted me to be reading and writing very, very early. I saw something that was upsetting to me that, because the way I learned to read and write and whatnot was phonics, where like you see the letter and you know, based on the contextual placement of that letter, the correct pronunciation. And apparently now there is a move. to kind of make kids almost memorize words wholesale. And so if they are unfamiliar with a word that is shown to them, they're like, what's this word? And they say, I don't know. They don't try to sound it out the way we did. They just go, I don't know what that word is.

And it's like, well, that's not ideal, but they weren't taught the sounds as much as the whole. You've seen those videos where the guy hands the, hands the people the note and ask them to read it and they can't read it right yes and that's really upsetting like words like regard they're like rigor like they're stumbling over six clever they're like riga and and like they don't know what they're mean yeah or per year yeah or like per year globe or like they'll be like point america out on a map or what's this country above

America and they're like pointing at the Indian Ocean like they have no idea where on the planet we are or what countries are around us they'll ask who did we fight in World War II fucking Iraq I literally said Iraq oh no yeah

and it's like not a bad guess because we have fought them a couple times it's terrible you know what aside from the three would be Australia I would have said Germany Japan and Italy for the

first part. I miss any? No. No, it was just those three. That's pretty much it. Yeah, that was there. I mean, there were a couple of minor powers. In Africa, were the African nations part of Hitler's thing?

Or is that just the sand? I don't believe so. They kind of took over, I think, whatever, France, like, like Algeria was a French colony. And I think they kind of took over everything France had, I guess. But, like, Mexico had supposedly sided up. with them. Like Mexico, if the Nazis had taken England,

Mexico was going to let them stage a land invasion from Mexico in exchange for the southwest being. Yeah, but Mexico supporting Germany in World War II is like me sending thoughts and prayers to the chiefs. What about Ireland? I'm not doing anything. Well, didn't Ireland sign with the Nazis?

Am I crazy? No, Ireland was neutral. Ireland didn't send anyone. I was neutral. Yeah. Portugal was neutral as well. Maybe I thought they weren't good enough. Yeah, kids are dumb.

That's not good. I just feel like that's a boomer take. I mean, my whole life, I've been hearing that the kids are dumb. And they can't, because I bet they can. Well,

their kids can read. They're not entirely dumb. Like, I have a friend who is, he is a medical anthropologist, and his wife is a, plant taxonomist. So, like, she categorizes rare plants.

He, like, studies, like, ancient medicine or, like, cultural medicines, that kind of stuff. And they did this project down in Central America with these villages. And, like, his takeaway was that, like, your average American kid can name four different kinds of plants or trees, you know, palm tree, pine tree, plants, plant, cactus, whatever. But, like, a kid down there can name, like, 200 plants. and what they're used for.

Chew that one if you got a headache. Put this on a scorpion bike. Rub this on you see it don't get sunburned, that kind of stuff. But so you think, okay, well, wow, our kids are dumb. Those kids are so much smarter. But, like, our kid knows how to use PayPal and an ATM machine and can log into your cell phone and get on a subway and, like, you know, get the Roku to work, right,

pull down the Disney Channel. Like, it's like people know so much more now that they just didn't know, even like 50, 60 years ago or 75 years ago. A kid in the 50s that's learning Latin and arithmetic and all these things in school, that kid in the 50s did not have to reset his password four times a week or get his Delta Sky Miles number to work right or like decipher the iPad on his rental car so can get the damn defroster to come on, right? Like there's so much stuff that just ancillary things that we all know now and our kids know

that people in previous generations just did not have to spend their bandwidth on and could focus on those more classical academia, you know, because they did not have to figure out to get, you know, why I want my Apple share work on my, you know, refrigerator to order more milk, you know. So I don't know, it's, I think the capacity's there. It's just not being used in classical education anymore. It's more entertainment and indulgence. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365.

I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

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here's the people that can't read good here's some people who can't read good let's see the people who can't or wait hold on should I not open this should this be a exact thing I don't think you can show it it's somebody's content and all you know but it's just that's the example that I keep seeing

of the I think it was in a Philadelphia high school and they hand them the index card with what I would think of as like a high school level sentence and they can't make it through it those like people on the street things you see where they like ask people yeah like when was the war of 1812 and they don't know or who do we fight war too etc you know like those sorts of questions you know obviously for entertainment purposes you're going to pull together the 25 dumbest people you got but did 500 other people answer those questions correctly and they just cherry picked the really bad these are all this person's high school uh Kyle you know what's funny with this link you just share is the first card that a girl is asked to read is a sentence that says she wore a silhouette of clothes

that were extraordinary but somewhat gauche. That is not a correct usage of the word silhouette. Yeah. Their test was an incorrect sentence. I thought that too. And I'm like, am I the dummy? Like a silhouette of clothes. That's not, that's incorrect.

I don't think it matters if the grammar is correct. it's more about pronouncing the words still. Like in that placement, silhouette, it's still silhouette. No, you don't wear a silhouette of clothes. It's kind of hypocritical if you're busting somebody for not pronouncing your poor grammar correctly, not your personally, but. I mean, I suppose so. Yeah.

But I get you made out. Yeah, it's a hard way either way. It's embarrassing that she can't pronounce those words like silhouette and gauche correctly, but the sentence itself is flawed. you don't wear a silhouette clothes. I would have read silhouette quickly

but I couldn't spell it if I was given a test I was like that LH is that normal? Could you spell silhouette Taylor with confidence? You think you would have got it? Yes.

Is it S-I-L-H-O-E-T-E? Is it S-I-L-H-O-E? Nope. One-L. Silhouette. Did I have the R-H-H-H-E? I think it would have gotten it if I could see it on paper.

I'd have put something between the L and the H that doesn't belong there. Like that silhouette, it's a double, a double T word, not a double L word. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. S-I-L-H-O-U-T-E. Oh, O-U-E-T-E-T-E. I'm a pretty good speller, but I have a cheat because there's a classic Hot Wheels car from 68 called the silhouette,

and I knew it from the hot wheel's car, so I was going to have a cheat for that sort of thing. This is kind of tangentially related to the, okay, the TikTokers who come up to people and ask them the questions. The question was, does a woman have a right to choose? And everybody vehemently, of course, a woman has the right under any circumstances? Oh, absolutely. Whatever she needs to do with her body. And they're like, what if we could determine that the baby was gay? And we were aborting the baby because it was gay.

Would you be in favor of that? And she's like, no, no, absolutely not. You cannot kill gay babies. And like they kept asking that question to like person after person and the reaction was so funny. It was so funny. It like completely like messed with their own like programming as aggressive. I'll see that where there's like a troll response on Twitter sometimes where it'll be some woman with a hyper viral post that's like all men are scum. They are complete terrible people and we should hate them.

and then someone will respond and be like even George Floyd and then they have to respond and be like well we'll never know and it's like here's his crime record but yeah that's it's a fun little yeah when I see stuff like that all man or whatever I'm like flip it flip it what if you made it all women are you still okay with this line of thinking or or sometimes it's a racial group you know all white people do this it's like ah what if you said something about that

the Stephen A So the Lakers have a white starting five. Oh, Stephen A is a sports commentator on ESPN. Yeah. Okay, he's funny sometimes. He saw the white, Lakers have five starting white guys. And he's like,

what are we doing? You can't win with white people. This ain't golf. This ain't hockey. This ain't even, and I forget what he said, there was like another one. And I'm just like,

oh my God, this is so racist. If you had a criticism of their actual skill sets, I'd be on board. But you're totally basing it on the color of their skin. That's what racism is. Does he not look the right way? Is that what we're doing here? And he did take a little heat from it.

But I feel like if it was the opposite, if they said, what is Tiger Woods doing? This ain't basketball. You can't win at golf. Then everyone would instantly think you were the worst person ever. But he got me to talk about him. That's his point. he wants people to talk about him. Sure, sure.

But I thought he should have gotten canceled, at least temporarily. Yeah, well, I mean, you don't get canceled for going out for white people. Like, we know what the score is. That's kind of my point. Like, yeah. White people are the ones who have to deal with the canceling. And, you know, that's kind of what it is. There's a book called Redneck Manifesto by a guy named Jim God,

which sounds like some kind of Jeff Fox here where you might be a redneck thing, but it's actually an anthropology book. And it's about how redneck is like the one racial term that you can say with impunity without anybody coming back on you. And it kind of breaks down. Not in my house. It's around the world. Everything's legal here.

Yeah. Oh, I had a question, Chris. Maybe I miss red. Did someone break the cannonball run record again? Not to my knowledge, no. Now, my buddy Tommy broke my cross-country record a couple months back and just did an awesome job of it. We had done the first. How's that different?

Cannonball is a parking garage in New York City to a hotel in L.A. So that's kind of the classic run. But the coast-to-coast is true back up onto the beach on the Atlantic to the pull on the beach in the Pacific. And I had the, me and two friends of mine had the one-way record. We were the first people in history to cross North America. by land in a single day. We did it in 23 hours, 35 minutes, beach to beach, Jacksonville to San Diego. And we got a speeding ticket in San Antonio. I blew a tire out of 170 on I8. Then we had to hypermile the last 100 miles because we miscalculated a gas stop out in the desert. And we calculated there was about 54 minutes left out there. And my buddy Tommy came along and knocked 47 of those minutes out of it. So he broke that record. But to my knowledge, nobody has broken the 2839. COVID record or the 2745, I can't, suddenly can't remember it, the non-COVID New York to LA record.

But yeah, there's still stand. There's a motorcycle thing, the Transamerica Trail. And one thing people do is they dip the back tire in the Atlantic Ocean and then the front tire in the Pacific Ocean. What do the car guys do? Do they just take a picture of the sand and call it good? Yeah, there's a, there's a particular beach access on. in Jacksonville on Ocean Avenue that we back up onto.

We just kind of put two tires in the sand. I mean, obviously with a car, you're about to race across country. You can't back at 100 feet across the water. But we do just wheels in the sand and wheels in the sand, basically, just to do a full... The beach counts. I mean, not into water. But if they were off road, yeah, I'd go for the water itself. Yeah, it's what you said.

It's a new coast-to-coast driving record was set last month. They used that. It was Tommy Thomas. Yeah, Tommy's good, dude. T4 Black Wing. He row from Jacksonville Beach, Florida to San Diego in 22 hours and 38 minutes. Yeah, we did it in 2335. And that's one of those things like Tommy's a friend of mine.

Everybody does Cannonball. We're all friends. And like, you know, we support each other. We give each other tips. Like anytime you're about to break your friend's record, you call it's kind of customer. You call them ahead of time. Say, hey, I'm going to make a run on your record. And we give him some advice and wish them the best.

And I was happy for Tommy. I mean, I was really proud of that record. I'm proud that it stayed for two years. And a bunch of people tried it and failed. But Tommy earned it 100%. He had a clean run, no blowouts, no tickets, just had a nice clean run, did really great. And Tommy's a good dude. He's a good driver.

He's a good part of the community. Yeah, I was happy for him. But, you know, again, as records are meant to be broken, you know, I broke Doug and Arney and David's record when we did it. And then Tommy broke ours. So obviously, you're trying to get there, in as short of time as possible. But another interesting, like, I don't know,

statistic, I guess is average speed. Like, to me, that tells the tape of how hard you were going, you know, and how consistently, regardless of the route. Do you have any idea what you did? Yeah, our overall average, so here's a funny trivia, so our overall average was the same as Tommy's.

We had 104 mile an hour overall average. Oh, my God. That's so fast. ours and that is my truck's top speed well our our moving average meaning the average speed when we were not stopped for a cop stop changing a tire stop getting gas stop whatever our moving average i think was 121 so our moving average was faster than tommy's like when we were going we were going faster we just had a lot of downtime for mishaps Tommy had a lower moving average but his overall average was like i think ours was a hundred and

4.3 and it was 104.7. Basically a half a mile an hour faster overall average made up that time on the other end. What was that? We were technically fast. I'm sorry? Top speed? Our top speed on that run was 170 and I hit that a few times. Tommy's, I don't really know his top speed.

The fast as I've been on a run was 202. Um, what kind of car were you in that can even hit 200 and two. That was a 900 horsepower GT 500 super snake belonging to my brother. And that there was our first race and like we both, it was like the first time we'd gotten kind of into that. You know, the kidd ball community is once you're in, it's like family, but it's not something you can just show up and do. Like you kind of got to know somebody. Sure. So like it was our first time that we'd ever got invited to do a run.

I got an invite, but I'd have a car. So it's like Thursday night. and I call Rusty up. The event's like Friday night. And I'm like, hey, what are you doing tomorrow night? You want to do a cannonball? He's like, yeah. So we take off.

We were like, we did really well, but we were afraid if we like won it first time out that we wouldn't get invited back. So we like deliberately sort of sandbagged the last like 500 miles so that we would get past. And we came in second. But yeah, we just thought, well, don't, don't touch one of your toes. But, I mean, it was open interstate. There's nothing out there. That car will do at 2.02 is at stop speed and we wound it out.

I got a screenshot. imagine like if if I were in a car with someone and they hit 202 miles an hour that that can only last a couple seconds right you're not soaring across the landscape at 202 for like 30 minutes right you would be surprised so there was a time on our coast to coast run that I kept that car over 165 for over 65 miles geez that took like that took like 12 minutes

on a different run there's a two minutes 21 minutes on the two way cannonball record which is a different run there's this great audio like we come out of this tunnel

in Pennsylvania sort of into New York and it's downhill for like 20 miles it's dawn sun's coming up and like you know there's not a lot of chit-chat in these cars like we're very focused it's like a NASA mission so I'm driving Nick the car owners in the passenger seat. And we hit this straight away, and he says, 17 miles to drivers change.

And I said, seven minutes. And that was it, you know, and we just, just parked that car. His car, we had a boost leak. It would top out at 156. And we just planted it at 156 for that whole 17 miles. So fucking fair. I mean, you can get, you can get going. I mean, we've gone.

Let's see. I've got a screenshot somewhere. Like, I did 637 miles in just under four hours. And, I mean, we pretty much kept that car over 150 for, I mean, I've driven over 150 for over an hour before. That's crazy. So my biggest concern at that speed isn't cops. It's obviously a blowout, but also animals. I'm so worried. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but there's nothing you can.

can do you know there's not we had a we did a run with the cross-country record uh so my buddy bronson and i bronson on the car and he's from texas i'm from georgia and our countermeasures guy who was also a very skilled driver and just a brilliant electronics wizard rob specter rob's a super cool guy he's one of the smartest people ever know but rob is from manhattan and he does not deal with like live you know animals very often so we're we're doing the run he's he's on the gyro-stabilized binoculars. He's looking like, you know, a mile and a half down the highway. It's the middle of the night.

We're going through like North Florida. We're passing deer at 175 miles an hour, like all night long. Because, yeah, you can't, at that speed, you can't swerve. You can't even hit the brakes. You just got to run the numbers. You're going to hit them or you don't. Yeah. So, like, he's been looking down the road so far.

He hasn't seen any of the deer. All of a sudden, he takes the binoculars down for a second and sees them. And they just like, it's like, deer, dear, dear, and, you know, of course, we don't react. And then he was got a, I think, a little. upset that we'd interact to the deer but like we're like dude there's nothing you can do I mean you're gonna hit and you don't there's a classic YouTube video of a guy on a

crotch rocket hitting a deer right in the middle and he's going fast I think he's going 80 plus and it cuts the deer right in the middle like splits it like a missile I don't know what happens well that I think that the video of the same one I'm thinking of that actually happened on the back

straight at road Atlanta or at least there is a similar video the same kind of thing where yeah I got hit deer like 180 miles an hour on the back straight at road Atlanta. And yeah, the physics are really weird. Like, if you hit the deer at 60, it destroys your motorcycle.

But if you hit the deer at 160, it cuts it in half in like you're fine. Like there's some weird physics. Yeah, because the deer change. You've nailed it. The deer starts as a deer and then it becomes physics. Comes missed. You just hit it going 180 miles per fucking hour.

I don't know what happened when the car hits them, though. I know I hear stories out from out west. of like, I think it's elk or maybe moose, but those things coming through the windshield, there's so much mass and, like, oh, yeah, you're getting you, you know, in the car. Yeah, I mean, I've never really, when you're going that fast, like in that, in that Mustang, what happens if you hit a fucking deer at 150? Does he come in there with you? I would be scared of that.

Hopefully, hopefully it just skips over the top. And, I mean, a deer's, you know, they got long legs. They're center of mass. It's about three feet off the ground. that car is about three and a half feet tall. So like, you know, when your windshield's at 15 degrees, hopefully it just, I mean, it's going to wreck the car. But hopefully, yeah, the deer just goes over you.

Yeah, I mean, compared to hitting him in, like, in a station wagon or something. But, you know, the cross-country record we did in the Chevy SS, it was pretty slippery. The two-way cannonball record we did in a sob, which, you know, Swedish cars are built. The A-pillers have to be able to take a moose hit. So, at that one, though, on that run, we hit a dead deer in the road. You know, the dead deer is about a foot tall, lay on its side, and the car is about four inches off the ground. Like, we jumped that deer and just snagged it underneath. Like, we had, we were just trailing entrails and fur and skin behind us.

That was gross. Yeah, that car was in the air multiple times on that run at over 150. It was, it was pretty gnarly, but. I grew up sort of really liking the idea of road trips. I think a lot of my favorite movies had those classic cross-es. country family road trips and I really idealized that in my mind as a kid and we didn't do a lot of them we would drive like a few hundred miles here and there but we never done a cross country one about you know I watched the vacation movie with Chevy Chase and the family going to Wally World and I always

wanted to do that so like I've done it now and I was going to say I didn't like it but I do like it I like doing those cross country like multiple day road trips with your your buddies it's kind of fun sometimes. I love it. We've done the two-way cross-country and the two-way cannibal, which is like New York to L.A., back to New York nonstop, Jacksonville, San Diego, back to Jacksonville non-stop. And I mean, yeah, you know, 62 hours straight in the car, especially at those speeds, it's kind of taxing. But yeah, you get kind of like a zen after a while. Like you get, you're just kind of one with the road, one with the motion, and the speed of it all just kind of planes out. And you get, it's a nice headspace. I dig it.

It seems counterintuitive to enjoying the road trip because a big part of it is seeing on the sites. But I liked going to sleep and we were in like going over Lake Ponson train or something like that on that bridge over the swamp. And then waking up and we're in Texas and there's those oil refineries when they're venting the extra gas and it's all on fire at night. And it looks post-apocalyptic industrial when you drive through those parts of Texas where it's just refineries to your left, refineries to your right. They're all burning that fire. And it's like, where are we more? It was great. It was great.

And then like driving up through the Pacific Northwest is so beautiful. Like it's so green. George is green. It's very green. The Pacific Northwest is absurd. It's, there are a huge, massive evergreen forest and mounds full of wild cats. And I'm pretty sure elk and all sorts of like,

cool shit up there. It's like, I really like my time up there. Yeah, this is a beautiful part of the world. I mean, it's like a terrarium. I mean, it's just so damp. Like, there'll be like a dead tree with more trees growing out of the dead tree. Like, every, mushroom's everywhere. Like, everything's alive.

It's, that's a cool part of the country. I went to the, I think it's where Mount St. Helens exploded. Like, I think that's a national park or a reserve of some kind. And there's lava fields there. And I'd obviously, I've been from Georgia, I'd never seen a lava field before. So I was like, steal some lava boys. Help me. I literally stole so much.

much lava. Why? It's just going to be a wrong. First of all, because it was cool. There was obsidian. We got some big chunks of that because I thought maybe nap out some stuff. We never did. But we also got that pumice stone that,

that's been like super aerated with hot gas. So it looks like, it's like a piece this big is still like light. It floats too. You can throw pumice in the water and it floats. Yeah. I stole a bunch of that. There were signs not to do it.

But I was like, come on. It's like petrified wood out here. If you like obsidian, there's a really cool place in Idaho. It's called Craters of the Moon. And it's this park where, it's like a big lava field. And it's just black obsidian glass as far as you can see. And there's a campground there and a little hiking trail. And I went out one night onto the hiking trail.

And it's like the ground is just this mirror black, shiny black glass everywhere. and the stars, of course, when it's cold out in the desert and there's nothing out there, the stars are like nothing you've ever seen. I mean, it's just you can see the clouds of the Milky Way and stars are different colors. It's amazing. But I got out there, and there's one, I don't know what you call it, but like a new moon or whatever, like it's that time of night when the moon is not up.

And I got out there, and I've been out there for about an hour, and my eyes were completely adjusted to the dark and all that. And there was no moon in the sky, and no, the sky was so black, You couldn't see the horizon, but you could see the stars reflecting in the little bits of the volcanic glass at my feet. So it was like the visual sensation was like just floating in space. You couldn't see below you or above you. It was just black and stars 360 degrees all around. It was amazing.

It was just like, I don't do drugs, but it was like trippy. Like I would imagine that much. You don't do drugs. You seem like the ultimate drug guy. I begged you for a drug enjoyer. I have never even smoked a cigarette. I'm such a nerd. You put that in your nose sober, is what you're telling me.

Totally 100%. I have, I mean, I don't enjoy a social drink every now and then, but I have not one time in my life ever done a drug or an edible or a vape or a cigarette or anything. Not in a judgy way. It's just like my dad just sort of chain smoked as a kid in a car, and it always sucked. And I didn't like that. So I never smoked.

And like when I was in high school, I had like six jobs. I'm getting myself through college. Like by the time. I was at a point in my life where I did not have to be like on. I was already like in my 30s and at that point I was like oh fuck it. You know, I've gone this far. But now I never have.

People always, yeah, they see my long hair in appearances and so. You must get offered weed all the time. Of course. Oh my God, all the time. I mean, weed drugs. People try to buy it off of me. Yeah, you look like a drug dealer, man. Dude, if I was at.

And also like a lot of my VINWiki stories. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But now a lot of my Vinwiki stories are about drugs, like times like my friend. stole a duffel bag full of weed from somebody. Another time that me and some friends accidentally drove a truck through a pot field looking for a swimming hole.

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Looking for a swimming, like your Huck Finn. and just we're driving a Ford Ranger through a pot far it was hilarious me and rigged yeah all these me and rigor

John was out looking for a swimming hole yeah the first way that happened is I tricked someone into paint a fence for me and then we headed out that day

I don't understand but it's a quick story I'll tell you it's pretty funny so so yeah there was a swimming hole like this it was like a mind shaft

like a and it was about 100 feet square and it was about 80 feet off the top and you could jump off into it and I landed in the water and swim out the other end, run at the top. That was kind of like our summertime swimming hole.

Well, some company bought it and they gated off the road to it. We didn't know how to get there. But I kind of, you know, as an amateur cartographer in my 11th grade year, I'm thinking, okay, I think if we go down this valley and cut through this farm, it'll go up this canyon. I think that'll end up there, whatever. So I got two friends, and one of them's got this Ford Ranger. We get in it and we go drive to this field.

We just kind of, it's kind of out this one road on the river. And there's only like one nice house in our whole county. Like everybody was just a bunch of dirt poor farm kids. There's one really nice house. They had like a pool loss kind of stuff. And across from them was this field. So we drove to that field that was kind of going the right way. And we get to a fence, but there's like the fence has obviously been like cut and twisted together.

And there's a little path that. So we untwist it, drive through it, twist it back. Go through that field. Go to another fence. Go through that field. And we eventually get back to like the woods. And we're kind of driving through the woods as best we can. And like fiercely like those places like where the forest service will like replant pine tree.

and there are those nice like orderly roads, you know, like, so there's one of those. And there's like, of course, weeds growing in between it. So we'll just drive between the pine trees. So we're driving through. And there's all these big tall weeds. We're running them over. It was kind of funny. Got to be kind of a game because we could see the trees to know, you know, we weren't going

to hit something. So we do that. That was kind of funny. We ran over like five or six rows of those things in a row thing. That's kind of fun. We parked the truck. We go hike around. We never can find the swimming hole.

So as we get back to the truck, we can hear like a TV or a full wheeler or something. Like, oh, no. you know, the property owner caught us, you know, we're going to get in trouble. They're going to call our parents. So we get back to the truck and, like, somebody's, like, circled the truck in an ATV, but they're gone now. So we get back in the truck and we're driving out. And we wait to the ATV's out of airshot.

So we go back through the fences. Now the fences are untwisted. So we just drive through and we drive the second to the last field. As we come around a corner, there's like a guy, and this is in, like, 1990. So there's a guy on, like, one of those, like, remember the Honda big red three-wheeler, you know, like the big ATE. thing. So there's a guy riding one of those and a guy walking behind

him carrying like a 44 magnum with a scope on it. And like they're walking back to the big nice house but they don't hear us because the four-wheeler. So we like, back the truck up around the curb. We wait in and get a little bit farther and we peek around the corner. They've gone to the main road. They've crossed over to where the house is.

As we go out, as we get to the main road, like we look and they're almost to their driveway down to that nice house. And my buddy driving's going to nervous. He kind of peels out and like, you know, skids a truck, you know, skids the tire a little bit, kick some gravel. Oh, no, they heard us. We look in the back.

The guy with the gun is like, you know, aim and he's like, boom. Now, this is like a 300-yard shot with a revolver. He's not hitting us. He's like, oh, my God. It's like three dudes all trying to duck down in a single camp board Ranger, which is not happening. You know, we're all, like, crammed over each other. Anyway, they get in like a nice Ford F-150, you know, like a 80s when, you know,

with mag wheels and big tires and way nicer truck. We're in like a base model four-cylinder Ranger. car chase happens now it wasn't like in the movies you know they never got like right on their tail they weren't shooting the mirrors all like they were always just like a quarter of a mile back enough where we'd make a turn they'd make a turn and we just they couldn't quite catch us but we couldn't quite get away and one time my buddy like overshot a turn now he's from another side of the county i'm on this side of the county i kind of know the roads and like he's 17 we're 16 and we're all young and stupid so he overshoots the turn we got a back at one point we're like okay

get out of the way i'm gonna drive i want to drive so chinese fire drill i get behind the wheel now like, you know, we're driving. We're like shouting out like the, my buddy's like shouting out rally instructions. Like, okay, over this hill of the road's going to turn left. It's going to be right. It's like the worst rally team ever. Yeah, totally. It's like we're like, we're like, we're like.

Anyway, we just finally get away. You know, we didn't hide behind a side or jump a bridge. We just get away. So, but they were like, every time they were in shot of us, they were like, they were shooting the gun at us. We're like, oh, my God. So we get back and everybody kind of, you know, goes home, kind of, you know, decompressed, kind of process in their own way.

So, like, this is like a Saturday. day, I guess. So next day, you know, my buddy Phil, who was not a part of this, calls me up. He's like, hey, man, you know, you don't go to my uncle's going to swim in. Like, yeah, that sounds cool, whatever. Wow. Swimming was that close the whole time. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, he has a pool, like in-ground, you know, in-ground pond. He'd go to my uncle's house. So I'm in the car with Phil. He's, I'll pick you up. We're riding over to his uncle's house. And I'm telling him some of the story, but I didn't really get to the part. I was telling him where it was. Dude, we get to the uncle's house. The uncle was the drug guy.

like we go to the big house and the guy who was just shooting at us today but of course he never saw anything but the back of our heads or mic of my head my other two friends are not here so now i'm at this guy's house he was just shooting at me the day before but now we're like hanging out and swimming pool and he's like he's of course we're like tie schoolers he letting us drink beer he's kind of a cool guy you know he's like oh yeah you're a cool kid me you're a cool kid me but don't even ask oh totally you know and of course he's he's like the area drug king pan i guess So, like, yeah, like the day before he's shooting at us for running over all his weed. And I don't know, like, maybe he was shooting at us for destroying the weed. I mean, we ran over like 30,000 pot plants. It wasn't like we just like let the guy's stash blow out the window. Like, we destroyed five acres of pot plants. You know, we talk about statute of limitations here sometimes with these old stories.

I don't think you've reached your statute of limitations on that man. Well, I have because here's where it gets funny. So, so, yeah, we hang out all day. The guy's like, yeah, you're a cool guy. man because I like trucks and we're talking about old trucks I'm like you come out here you can ride the three-wheeler we go shoot guns and shoot range man come and hang at any time and the whole time I'm paranoid he's going to somehow recognize it's me and like drown me or kill me or something but he never does so like years later one of the dudes that was in the truck with me is now an FBI agent and the guy

I mean he was way old with the nose he died 20 years ago but my buddy called me up this I don't know four or five years back he's like hey you know the place where we drove through the pot farm that got sold to a development and they found like 15 bodies buried out there like the guy long since died I guess his kids didn't want the property or whatever so yeah when they got sold people people were getting killed and buried out there which could have very easily been us had we not got he was like that southern family from fucking Ozark where yeah seemingly yeah so so anyway so like stories like that which is like just another reason why I've never done drugs like it's just I've almost been killed over him enough times.

Similar thing, buddy mine, we went to a party and he stole like an entire duffel bag full of weed from some dude and we got some crazy car chase. I'm driving his Ford Maverick. There's a guy in a 5-0 Mustang chastiness. We have this crazy like Dukes a hazard car chase all over making Georgia. You know, it's just a lot of those stories. Any drug at all? Just not your jam.

No thank you. Never, never done a one. And you're not a judgy thing. I got plenty of friends that smoke or do acid or whatever. I don't judge people for doing it. I mean, obviously I'm not into people doing like crack and heroin and meth and stuff turns them into monsters. Sure. And I was in a relationship with somebody who developed a drug problem and that turned into such a nightmare.

That was kind of another reason where I've just never done it because I just got too many like too many bad memories of trying to get her clean and trying to keep her alive and all the awful stuff that happens to people. I just had too many negative experiences with drugs that I just didn't do it. Which drug would you do? If you were to pick one, if I was going to pick, I was an easy one. If I was going to pick drugs, I try one, I would get. like all of my paint out in a big blank wall and I would do like mushrooms or acid or something like I want something that would like affect my perceptions and I want to paint like on some sort of psychedelic I think that would be really cool it's a good answer but but you know and not to make it

all highbrow and RTCS just the only that part of it really interests me but I like to drive and like we have this kind of saying cannonball which is like never break the law and you're breaking the law and let's say God forbid somebody gets an accident and 180 miles an hour. That's bad, but if you got to trust in your system. No, no, they don't get away with that. Yeah. You're going to.

Yeah, but I just don't in any way ever want anything even lately in my system. If I get arrested driving high speeds or anything like that. And, you know, plus, you know, Matt's off roads, a very family friendly friendly channel. It's just stuff where it just, the Jews never fit the squeeze. I know, I just never, I hung out with a lot of people while they were doing drugs. I've been the designated driver. Like when I was in college, I didn't have a car because I couldn't afford one. So the way I would get to drive other people's cars would be to stay sober and be the D.D.

So that was kind of a payoff. And at the time when most people were doing drugs or experimenting with drugs, I was staying sober just so I could get drunk. Were there any fun cars, though? Like the cars you were getting to drive, it seems like they'd be like shitty college kid cars. Oh, they were crab car. Yeah, I mean, there was a couple of Cameros. One guy had an infinity. but this is also like I went to college in 1992.

So this is like before everybody was going to school in a fast Mercedes or BMW M class or I mean a M3 or whatever. Everybody just had, yeah, crap cars. But at that age, though, like I was just so desperate to drive a car again after having to get rid of mine to go to school. I was just happy to drive anything. It could be a pinto. I was just thrilled to be driving.

And that was. I'm sorry, finish. No, no, I was just saying that. Taylor, like at your high school, what was the, what were the nicest kid cars? Like, who had the nicest cars? And what were they? Um, I don't remember a lot of classmates having, like, really nice cars. One girl, one girl got a brand new Volvo wagon, which I know it's kind of a mom car, but it was like a brand new.

Those are, those are expensive. The other girl, um, who I, she was like my girlfriend's best friend. She got a Mercedes compressor, which is like a Mercedes. two-door coop, brand new. And then her brother, he got a brand new four-door Chevrolet Silverado Z-71.

Holy shit. You know a lot of people who got brand new cars. Well, they were brother and sister. They both had like brand new $40,000 cars. Oh, every single friend I can remember from high school had a used car. Like I don't remember anybody having like a sick,

awesome rig. Like it was just like old Hondas, old shavis, old Toyotas, whatever it was. Like the people with the best car, actually no, there was this one kid with a super rich dad who I believe

it was either a it was a BMW or it was a Lexus. It was one of those two. And at the time, I didn't know enough about cars to give a fuck other than I knew those two labels meant premium. And he had one of those. but he also had a guest house and he's the same guy I mentioned on the show before

where after cleaning up his house before the maid could get there the next day because he lived in this palatial estate with like a guest house and tennis courts and shit and he's the guy who threw the bag of like glass Budweiser bottles empty ones outside of his car as we were driving down like a very commonly used road

and he did it on the driver's side it was in the middle. Yeah. And I remember him just being like, yeah, who even cares? Because he had like kind of like a vocal fry thing going on. Yeah. I was like, damn. Damn, Cam, this is this is really horrible what you're doing to everybody else.

The town I lived in, which I won't say it's name, but like if you were going to give Georgia an enema, you'd stick it in this town. And like, there were no rich kids. You have something called raping county? County? Ray Bunn County. It was not there but similar, yes. But like there were no rich. It was one of those towns where if you had any option, you wouldn't live there. So if you had money, there would be no reason to stay. So there were no rich kids. Only cool cars that were there were like, like some of the kids who had like a car dad, he might have like an old muscle car or something that was like his car that he kind of passed down. And those were nice sort of by default, but they weren't really expensive. They were just sort of hammy down. But everybody else just drove. of like whatever. Like I had us pretty sweet. I had a 63 Buettless saber,

which I made into a lowrider. And I bought that from my algebra teacher for $300. And I loved it, except the Ku Klux Klan totaled after I ran it through a clan rally, like the Bluesmobile and the Blues Brothers with the Nazis. I ran it through a Klan rally. Hey, yeah, so I ran it through a clan rally and snack somebody's sleeve

and flipped them down aside, and they cut my steering and totaled it. But I love that car. But yeah, most of us just drove cheese. crap, you know, and same thing, go up to college. It was just whatever everybody's mom hand me down or something they bought with their pizza delivery money. Like it just didn't.

But I was in late high school, like my senior year. My dad was going through his midlife crisis, I guess. And he bought a 64 and a half Mustang. And I drove that to school a couple times. And it had no power steering. And so like every time. you had to take like a turn that was at a right angle, you felt

like a ship's captain. You were spinning this thing so many times to try and get it to turn. And that thing was awesome. That was fun. I remember just the feel of like hitting the side of it. It was like, oh, this is like steel. This isn't that

composite or whatever sort of plastic you feel on the exterior of new cars. My wife's Jeep had no power steering. And my wife It was, it just never was and never will be a very strong person. So she couldn't turn the wheel unless the car was moving, you know, a pretty good clip. There's one area near her house where she grew up where you had to turn more than 90 degrees. It was like a, you know, 10 degree turn to get up a hill.

She couldn't make it. And she hit a traffic light hard enough that the traffic light fell over, like on top of the Jeep. And yeah, so they had to like buy any traffic light and everything for the city. you. Is that really what happens? I never considered tipping the whole traffic light. That's a real accident. She smashed it good with her Jeep.

And two things happened. One, her father-in-law installed, my father-in-law, her father installed a power steering for her. And the other is every time they pass that traffic light, they would declare it as hers. Like she bought it. It's hers. And then when I first met her, it was like,

yeah, this is Jackie's traffic light. She bought that. Look how new it. is compared to the others. That's because of her. That's cool. Yeah. The record that we have at Matt's off road is four-wheel steering, and it's got 54-inch tires on it. And it's pretty cool. Like the front wheel steer with the steering wheel, with like effortless power steering, then you've got this joystick for the rear. It's like when you're turning it, like you can like crab walk it and like all the wheels will

go the same direction, but you can also rear steer it, which feels like you're skidding and you're not. Like it's a really kicky. Like once you get used to it, it's pretty cool. Like you can just like whip it around. and skate the rear and around on it. Can you operate the brakes one at a time? No, it's just all four-wheel together. There are, some vehicles have cutting brakes. You can do like a, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you just. I would, my buggy, an off-road buggy, you could set it to be front-wheel drive, rear-wheel drive or both, you know, locking it. Yeah. Oh, that we can do, yeah, but you can lock like just the rear wheel, put it in just front-wheel drive and kind of the rear-wheel, in theory, it stays still.

as the car drags and pivots on that wheel. It only works well if the front's going like downhill. If you're going uphill, then the back wheel just drag. Yeah, we all had a front dig. Like my scout rock crawler has that. And we use that a lot on the banana, which is the Jeep Cherokee that we use and the Morvair, which is a Corvair station wagon built on its own like tube chassis with 40s.

It's kind of an off-road thing. And that's really handy because, like, yeah, if you're trying to maneuver, like once you're already hooked up to something, like it's really hard to reposition. So yeah, you can just pull a break and walk it over. And it's a pretty fun. The one on my scout, though, was cable actuated on the parking brake. And it's just not quite strong enough.

The dune buggies have like hydraulics, which is way better. Yeah, front digs are pretty fun. And the twin stick, you can pop them in and out. It's pretty neat. Mine had hydraulics, but none of it was like good hydraulic parts. It was like Home Depot parts. So it's how mine is. It didn't work all that well.

Like you got a little bit of broken. brake on the wheel you didn't want to have any because it wasn't quite as, I don't know how to say, airtight with hydraulics as you wanted to be. Yeah. Nah, I know. What kind of buggy was it? I mean, that sounds cool. What was your kind of build was it?

So they were FJ80 axles. It was a Jeep 4.0 engine on a, it had some Jeep frame left in it. The rest was all like roll cage. It had, um, uh, is FJ 80, right? That's the E Locker. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. the kind of square body and a transmitter. Dana transmission, it had, I don't know, I used to be able to list everything from it. It was like 11 different cars, a lawnmower and a cement truck,

like to get parts from. That's, that is awesome. Yeah. So was it straight legal or just a full rock crawler buggy? Yeah, you had to trailer it everywhere. That's cool.

Yeah. Yeah. I used to tell her to Toyota Tacoma. And I made the towage myself. It was like, I'm learning to weld. but it seems to be good so far. So far, so good.

That's how you do it. That's cool. That's how I learned a well. Same thing. Just poking it with a stick until it doesn't fall apart. We were welding floor plates into a 55 Chevrolet

and it occurred to me somewhere along the way with my shitty welding that this was all that held me in the car in my seat. I was like, all right, hang on a minute. We're going to have to grind this down

and start over. I'm not comfortable. Yeah, we rebuilt us. yeah we rebuilt a seatbelt mount for a corvair just today that it was matt's cousin came by we're all going to this big corvara event down in palm springs this weekend and like his seatbelt like you could have ripped the mount out with your hand it was torn probably 90% around the base there was nothing holding that thing together we just hammered it back flat and made a plate for it yeah welding's cool i mean you can like if you can weld and fabricate a bit you can just literally make stuff that just doesn't exist it's it's one of my favorite of the things that I do is just making things man you can make art you can make a bumper you can make modify something you can hot ride your lawnmower you can just change things and metal is so easy too like like wood and clay and marble like you can only take away from it I mean you can screw metal it mean screw screw wood together etc but still you can kind of really remove it but like metal

you can almost infinitely melt it reshape it reweld it reforge it like like a properly done weld is than the metals surrounding it because you've excited all those electrons and those atoms then as they cool down they cool down into a more orderly late matrix than they would when they were forged and they're just all jumbled together and it's just cool i mean i think metal's remarkably easy in a way because you can just keep messing with it until you get it right where's wood you secure that table up man it's firewood you got to start all over it's so much easier when you can weld too like uh i would sometimes fabricate little things and I had friends without a welder and they're like man you're playing this game on easy mode I would have to construct some sort of bracketry to hold this together and all

these nuts and bolts and then you have to worry about maintaining that you weld it and it just stuck and it doesn't go away it's you're done it's cool yeah same thing with a blow torch you know can't be stuck if it's liquid an oxyacetylene torch is the master key you know it opens any anything and everything. Like whenever we were working on some project on the farm, I knew that we'd never lose because the torch was there. In the end, this was going to come off,

come loose, or get melted. No matter what. It's nice to have an oxyacetylene torch because I don't know of anything that can stand up to it. I've never seen it. Oh. I'm sure.

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, I mean, my plasma cutter is pretty badass. It's like a little tiny lightsaber. Yeah.

And you can just cut right through things, but you don't get like the throw you do with the oxytor. and you can't like modulate it. You're either cutting it or you're not. Whereas that torch, you can heat it, you can bend it, you can bleed into it. You can you can just tint the edge. You know, you can just discolor the stainless just to make it look cool. I mean, the torches are just so versatile.

The hard part I've got to learn with torches, though, is like, you know, like metal starts glowing at about 885, like steel starts glowing in about 885 to 900 degrees. But that means it's also like not glowing at 875 degrees when you touch it. the warning sign it's like it's like a rattlesnake like the warning sign is so far beyond the point of failure i i i uh i do most of the cooking in my house and i like to get good and good and high when i do it and i'll have like four or five pots in a pan or two going at one time the amount of times i have taken something that i know is 400 degrees and sat it there and looked at it and went you're hot i can't touch you to like try to get into my head

because like I there was a while there where I was burning myself like once a week. I had little burns on my fingers and on the edges of my hand because I'd grab so many hot fans. My girlfriend's in the living room like, you okay? Because every 10 minutes, that was hot. That was hot. Yeah, my fingerprints are just growing back because like anytime we're not doing recoveries, we're in the shop like fabricating stuff or modifying something or building it, especially when it's three or four people, like you're working on something and somebody else is working on something.

and they just torched it or welded it and like you weren't paying attention you turn around and it's just like oh man but yeah the worst I've ever been burned was fucking around with acetylene

I filled a balloon up with acetylene and lit it and it exploded on me and burnt my hand up real good and then it was real bad that's the worst I've ever been burned 13 14 15 somewhere in there Oh, let's see, probably ninth grade, so

13, 14 or 15, something like that, somewhere in there. Yeah, it's been a long time ago, obviously. And acetylene, like, it's like napaline, too, because like, it's the fuel. Like, it's not, you're not just burning the vaid, like, it's, you got to burn that off. And you know how black it burns? I'm sure, I'm sure, like, I've seen people use the, the, the settling soot to, like, pre-marking thing so they can scrape and make their cutting marks in the clean spot that's created by, like, anything.

nail. It's so so sooty. So all of that was on me. Like there was this black shitty carbon layer. And as they're scrubbing through that, there's just like big, huge bubbly blisters like all over every knuckle in the back of my hand. It was gnarly.

Dude, that is, that's bad. That's bad news. And one cool thing you do with the soot on like aluminum, for example, like when you can start manipulating aluminum about 600 degrees, if you start heating it with acetylene, it'll turn black and sooty. But at the point, the soot starts to burn off and it gets clean again, that's when it's at the right temperature where you can start working it.

Oh, okay. My cousin welds heat in nuclear power plants. He's some sort of a master welder. I don't, the only thing he can't do is the underwater stuff, and he's terrified of that, so I don't think that's going to happen. That's crazy. I don't mess with that either. That's cool.

Gosh, I bet like a nuclear power plant. There's got to be so many, like, standards and certification. Like, I don't have any of that stuff. I know how to weld just from doing it, but like. They search his car on a regular basis. they pat you down, run you through x-rays, they search,

they go under your car with mirrors, like you're going into the green zone in Afghanistan or something like that. What are they looking for? Explosives, contraband, drugs, anything,

weapons, because it's a nuclear facility. Like, if he's a terrorist, he could go in there and, I don't know, try to blow the place up

in some way or compromise the power system out. They should be checking. Just, yeah. They're worried about cameras. weapons. I'm supposed you're looking for drugs.

They want them very sober when they're doing the work. They get regularly, regularly drug tested. They all wear those rad badges. I don't know what else to call. Yeah. Measurer or whatever. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Does he get a lot of time off?

Yeah. He definitely does because he sort of works at his leisure, it appears. It's a really good gig. It pays super. It's a six-figure kind of job and there's like never ending work and lots of overtime. I wonder how many people could do it. Like Jeremy does it. Actually, Jeremy has a lower position on the ladder.

He does work there, but I don't think they've got him like welding up the coolant lines the way they do the Scotty. Jeremy's not a genius, but he's also like, he's a pretty good worker. He's fit enough. He's strong enough. He's like, that's my view of him. Maybe you have a better one. I don't know.

But, like, it's like, could anyone do this job? Not anyone, right? At the very minimum, you have to go to work reliably, right? Otherwise, they'll get someone who does. And not everyone can be a master welder, I would guess. But also, I don't think it's as hard as, like, accounting, like intellectually. Yeah, intellectual. I know I went right to the top of the peak.

I would disagree. To me, it's a bit of artistry what he's doing. Because, like, when his welds look like the welds I see on Reddit, where they're like, geez, perfectly symmetrical wells that look like a machine made them with, like, no visual flaws whatsoever in this perfect little iridescent rainbow pattern of cooling. Or you can tell, like, yeah, he just did, did it perfectly the whole time. Like, how long did that take? Ah, 90 minutes. What the fuck?

Like, I can't sit still for 90 seconds doing something like that. Yeah, there's a rhythm to it. And I can't weld that well, but I watch the guys it can. There's a rhythm to it. I mean, not just because I'm a welder, but I would argue that it is a lot harder than accounting because to do it properly, I agree. There's a ton of like metallurgy and just you got to listen to it. You got to see it. You got to understand the heat patterns, how you're dissipating the heat. You got to understand the timing of it. Like if you're welding something that's cast, you know, you got to heat it up first. You got to weld it hot. You got to bring the temperature down slowly. You got to understand the properties, the crystalline structure, the metal, how those metals interact. There's 100 different welding rods. and, you know, isolating gases.

There's a different flux, all these different chemistry things that are happening at once. You've got to know that, like, if you're welding on something galvanized and heat it past 700 degrees, it's going to make phos gene gas. You've got to understand all the, I mean, like with, I'm sure your friend or your cousin's stuff at the nuclear plant or like welding on airplanes. I mean, these things have to get inspected. They cut your welds. X-ray them. You've got to understand the legal requirements, all the physical requirements. all the OSHA safety stuff. You've got to know all of the things that are going to have to happen to this device.

You know, your tools got to be clean. There's a lot that goes into like true. I mean, I'm just a monkey. I'm a guy out there welding monster truck tires onto a golf cart. But like a real craftsman, real welder, I mean, there's science, legal, math, timing. I mean, there's a lot that welder has to know. And I really blows the killing out of the water, don't you think, Taylor? Wow.

Seems so. I would argue that. I mean, I feel like you'd have a harder time turning an accountant into a welder than a welder. That's right. You could never turn an accountant into a welder, but you go into any metal shop and grab a, grab, grab the guy that's got the most soot on him. And he'd be running corporate at fucking state. Oh, yeah. Dude, the problem with accounting is that so many gay guys do it.

yeah they love hairy bellies in the account welders yeah yeah I mean after describing all of that welding does sound I'm such a I'm such a fucking idiot

that until you said all that you can spell silhouette I can I can spell I'm still more I mean as soon as you like started describing the little things about welding like well you can't heat this to this temperature or else it will release a dangerous gas. I was like, oh my God, I really just thought it was some moron just being like,

do we need more heat to melt these together or less heat to melt these together? And that was it. No, not at all. I mean, there's hundreds of alloys. I mean, all the different welding rod, the techniques, different gases that you use, argon, CO2, helium, welding and vacuum. There's a lot. I mean, there's a lot more to it.

You know, it's just like anything. I mean, like these old farmer guys out in Nebraska that you just see down there sipping coffee in his overalls. I mean, that guy knows crop cycles, soil acidity, plant, you know, how the plants grow, weather, the business side of running a farm, finances, hydraulics, how to operate all those tractors, the electronics, all the legal stuff, market, commodity stocks. I mean, there's a lot of stuff like the classical, like, blue-collar guys. Farming is way harder than people. I remember when we heard about farming degrees. One of my dad's friends, they sent him to school to learn how to be a better farmer. And he got some sort of a degree in, I don't know, like modern agriculture.

Did it help? I'm sure it did. They run an enormous operation. Like, I don't know how many 18 wheelers and how many grain silos and how many 10, probably 20, 30,000 acres of corn, wheat, soybeans, always being cycled in continuously. there's never time off. But I remember just the concept of it being like, you can go to school to learn to be a farmer? That don't mean that's the one thing you don't need

the schooling for. I sometimes wonder how objective it is, right? Like moving away from farming, let's say you're running a foot locker, right? The sneaker store, if one guy went to business school and the other guy didn't, do you think the business school guy, like how many times out of 10 does that store make more

money. I got to know more about the non-business school guy. If he's a self-starter, motivated, you know, like that's why I did times out of 10, right, to sort of equalize for all that? Yeah. Yeah. Because I'd rather have it than not have it. Sure, if it's free. But what if you had four years in the business and the other guy starts four years late? Because he went to business school. Where was the time better spent? Then I would probably give it to the guy who started earlier. because even if he doesn't know all these ancillary things about business, he knows his

business. Like over that four years. Especially with a foot locker because it doesn't seem like I mean he's not growing his own entrepreneurial kind of endeavor. He's running a foot locker. So once you get like I don't know, hire a CPA and then like figure out some sort of a corporate

accounting structure like what else is there besides yes we got size. I'll check in the back. I'll see if we got the other. Okay. I don't know. I thought there was a certain taste to it. That's why I chose the sneakers. Like I bet there's a taste making, you know, stocking the right stuff.

I used to work at Leon's men store in Ocean City and we sold jeans and buttoned down shirts and shit like that. The dude would take items that never sold, right? The things that he just could not move. And in an effort to move them, give them the really prime real estate, like next to the cash register eye level, you know, stocks that nobody wants. And we're like, bro, There were these socks called wigwams that everybody pushed down. They look almost like leg warmers. They were very fashionable in like the late 80s, early 90s.

We're like, put those there. Everybody wants them. People will add them to their order all day long. But you're still hoping for that one guy that wants a pair of children's frog socks. To be like, oh, my God, here it is. I didn't know you had these. So maybe in that, you know, they want to put the stuff that can move by the register. but there's a taste to running a retail store and my guy didn't have it.

Yeah, running a retail store is incredibly hard. Like that, well, it depends on the kind of retail store. Foot Locker, not so much because all of your marketing is handled by corporate. Like you don't have to worry about expanding your consumer base. That's their problem. You just kind of run your store. But it's hard. I think the, the most.

impressive, like, what we're talking about I've ever seen is Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch back in the day. If you went into one of those places in 2002, 2003, it smelled like a whore in there. It smelled like cheap cologne and all of the mannequins had like glistening six packs and all of the girls that worked there were so hot. And the guys too. And it was like a, There was like club music. Are you at a count? I must be. I only remember because my like traditionally

hottest friend in high school, his name was Caleb, shout out Caleb. He had like literally Abercrombie body. He was, I hung my head on the fact that I was taller than him. And so he was like 5'9, but he was shredded. Like just shredded to the point that it didn't make sense for a high schooler's body where it was like, why are you so jacked?

Like the amount of definition around your abs is crazy. He got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch and we like visited him there once at the mall and it reeked of Cologne the whole time. And he was like, he's like, I don't even know how much longer I can keep this job, guys. And I was like, why? Like you seem to be doing really well. And he's like, dude, the headaches. I have such terrible headaches from being in here all day and it smells so strongly. And then when I go outside the store, my smell kind of goes back to normal, but then I don't smell anything.

Like I've almost been overloaded with smells for so long that then I leave and I can't even smell the Annie Ann's as I get to my car. And it's like, well, that's troubling. Sorry. I have to do an Abercrombie at Fitch at like 32. and it's like, I don't belong here. Is there a gap that I should go to? Yeah, I don't, I don't, like, I get so many, like shirts or either, like, racing or, like, YouTube stuff or, like, sorority girls.

Everybody makes shirts. So I just wear, like, thrift or jeans, whatever gimmee shirt I've gotten from whatever event and a decent pair of boots. That's been it. But, like, like, my first wife was really fashionable and always dressably nice. I'd go with her shopping. And same thing. gone to the, it was the music in the girl stores.

Like, I guess I wasn't very olfactory sensitive to whatever the smell was, but you go in there and it was just, like, it was just this constant, like, club thing going on all the time. Oh, yeah, just tried to like, buy. Give me a little more of that. Oh, just the debate. All the time. It was just nonstop.

It's so funny, but this is such a stupid thing that you're alarmingly good at. Like, it's like your Russian accent. You know, I can, I can club beatbox. You can do Russian accents. Everybody's got that one random thing. But anyway, the same thing. It was like the forced marketing. Like they were costing, they were selling you the lifestyle in the store.

If you buy this shirt, you're going to be in this cool club with all the fun popular people. If you buy this pair of $80 jeans, you're going to smell good. And girls are going to want to bang you. Like the stores are pushing the persona of, who you're going to be if you buy their thing. And it was, I don't know, it always seemed very transparent. I think crashing peaked right then.

Like, like, I think, I was there, Gandalf. I was there, Gandalf, I was there,

Gandalf, okay? 2000, when, when the women's low-rise jeans, got so low that they required a bikini wax. Okay, I was there.

I synced it with my own eyes. You seen it? There was more holes in those women's pants than there was material. I don't know. For some reason, we let our dads make fun of it and we laughed at their jokes. Oh, look at all them holding in the pants. I don't know. Laugh along with those boomers.

Fashion peaking. In 2002, I think what I've been justified to his exority. Zach, show me prime Britney Spears with her low-ride jeans so low that you can just almost see her pubic mound. I have always maintained that like for me it was like the 90s. That is my idea of fashion. Perfection. Those kids on say by the drill, bell snazzy dressers. That's that's what you, you know, the button down shirt with the colored shirt underneath it and maybe some pleaded slacks. Like, that's a good look. You look good in that.

Kyle, a few years younger than me, I'm almost done. Kyle, a few years younger than me has pushed it off to like 2002. I bet a, that is a good look. But I bet a younger person still will be like, no, fashion peaked in 2015. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at nofrills.ca.

Our Fantasy Commission says for him it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends.

No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home. of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca or call 1-8665-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. Yeah, I would definitely go a little later than Kyle. That's what I'm talking about. Christina Aguilera figured out. Christine Aguilera has a very small vagina. But she dressed like a paper boy. That's stupid in it. Because this is during the time when she was trying to a, oh, wow. I don't know who

that even is. Zach, don't bring up pictures that are going to distract Kyle from speaking. Don't, don't leave that there.

Don't go anywhere because I want to describe what this is because to the average viewer, you're probably confused right now. That's one pair of jeans and she's turned it into a top

and an incredibly low-rise pair of other jeans. You can see the bell loops under her boobs. Oh my God, she's got somebody else's pants made into a fucking bag. Damn, you know what.

Hold anything. But also, Kyle, this is not a picture from 2002. I didn't present this as 2002 evidence. Zach did. I think he went down a low-rise jeans avenue. I specifically asked for Christina Aguilera because I remember her low-rise jeans. Now, I will say this.

The trend that we've got over the last 10 years, I'll say, with yoga pants and like, oh, that's tremendous. What a girl she is. I love Britney Spears. She's my favorite, like, pop girl because she was, she turned out. A lot of those girls. Because you're 40.

That's why. No, because she's a dirty whore. That's why. Because she's a dirty whore. And she's white trash, Taylor. Like a lot of these girls are very fancy. They're very posh. Oh, wow.

You think you were the only guy jacking off to her in 2002? Really? I was a hundred percent jacking off to Spears in 2002. Disgusting. Disgusting. No. She's good. Dude, 12-year-old me was infatuate.

Look how low they are. My God. Oh, there you go. There's the winner. See, 12-year-old me had like Linda Carter and Catherine Bach and Dolly Parton and Ovarah. They called this girl fat. You know who got me in 2002? Who's the girl from? Nobody.

Are you talking about Jessica? The Pirate of the Caribbean. Oh, I mean, I was 11. I was getting no action. But here nightly, yes. I remember watching Keir Knightley shows and movies and like having that like not mature yet but mature enough to come

tingle where it was like there's something about her that I just can't can't get over. She's the best. At 11 I was playing with matchbox cars or something I don't know. Dude I remember like jacking off the thing that happened with jacking off was

until a certain age, nothing really is spurting out. You're just coming and like there's a little trickle. And then when you really hit puberty and you come and so much comes out, I remember the first time a bunch of stuff came out when I jacked off at night in my bed after, you know, I went to bed. And I went to the bathroom to like clean it off my underwear and stuff. And I remember thinking, like, is something wrong? Do I, should I go wake up my parents and tell them this?

Thank you have. God. You know what? God, I didn't. And I just went back to bed and I said, just like, Woody and his seizures, let it ride. As a matter of fact, why don't you give your father a ring? Let him know what happened. Dad, that time that I was acting weird, it's because I busted.

And then you get addicted to it, then you're bored, then you're like doing the stranger, you know, like sitting on your arm until it goes numb. I don't think that's real. I think that's a silly meme. Nobody has ever done that ever in the world. Like you ever. I've never tried to know. Number one, if I were to just sit on my hand right now, it's not going to fall asleep. Oh, yeah, it is.

Just sitting on it for how long? For sure. Like an hour? I don't know. You were like woken up like slept on your arm wrong and what? spoke up and it's just like, if I wanted it to follow Steve, I think I'd like put my arm

over a chair or something. Like that one will move. Now, you gotta tie it off like a heroin user. Oh, that's good thinking. You're a bit. But as far as like, that's the ultimate gay guy,

a stranger. You tie your dick off so it feels like you're jacking someone else off. You're not even enjoying it. but from a from a girls fashion in a male puberty age like at the age we all kind of came into girls though like like younger people I think got it lucky because like now yeah it's either like the low-rise jeans or the short shirts or like the yoga pants where they're basically naked or leggings or whatever but like in the late 80s and early 90s when I was coming up

girls wore like giant boxy jackets with shoulder pads and huge sweaters and giant shorts like you couldn't tell what that girl was built like. It was like in the Middle East with the hijabah. Like with like you could see their head. You had no idea what they were shaped like until like well, I was married and out of the market until it was too late. Meeting girls. Yeah.

I mean, you could be anything because it was this big frumpy, boxy clothes and that thankfully went away. But I feel like nowadays like if you're dating a girl, like she's going to show up on your first date with like leggings and a sports bra on and some adleisure wear thing. And you pretty much seen her naked at this point. Depends where you're

Maybe it's a little different I miss the big shoulder pad suits, right? I remember going to my eighth grade dance with a big old V shape It's like A shabated shoulders

And like a I was a Miami Vice thing Yeah I had a white linen suit With the pink shirt, man I was a little redneck dog I had a skinny tie Damn you dressed like a Coke dealer

Yeah It was the fashion at the time. I tied an onion to my belt loop. As was a fashion at the time. I love when Woody has a Simpsons reference. That's wonderful. That's great. But even now, like, you're saying they're wearing low-rise

jeans. You're out of the culture, brother. Like, the thing now is the girls' way wear high-wasted jeans now. They have for the past few years. and they wear like those almost straight leg jeans. I don't know if straight leg is the right term. The thing where it's like a silo, it just kind of goes over the legs. Well, that was like the crazy lesbian chick that tried to abduct me.

Same thing. She had these like giant. She need like a pants wrangler. Like the cuffs of her pants were probably this bigger out. Like why do you need? Like you can't see your feet. Like they getting those hiding the tentacles. But like, yeah, the giant hip-hop pants.

I don't. I think bell bottoms are fun. And I would like if those kind of. to pop back into the culture for a bit. Really? Yeah, they were good. What's wrong with them? Like, you lived it.

So like, you hated it. Twice. Not. Like, they were like tight from the cafe? Oh, yeah. I guess you,

you were born in, what, 73. And so you probably missed the whole bell bottom thing. By the time you were. Yeah, definitely by the time I was like looking at fashion. It was 80s,

beyond camouflage, stuff like that. But, um, I bet girls were athletic stuff to high school now. maybe that's got it yeah so distracting for me as like a male student putting myself back in that position if there were an athleisure and they have athleisure brands where the whole point is like it sucks as tight to your ass and pussy is as conceivably fabricly possible and then it's like

spray here yeah yeah i'll be trying i wouldn't be focusing at all if that if girls were wearing that Speaking of high fashion, did you guys get your Halloween costumes yet? I have not. I'm still mulling it around. I ordered mine yesterday. I'm bringing sexy back for sure. It should come tomorrow. Hell yeah. Nice. I haven't made a decision yet. I've looked at a few. But I always want something on my head, but the headset never works. And I got to find, maybe I'll experiment with it in the coming week using like a little mini wired thing or an earbud or.

some kind because I have so many ideas that involve like shit on my head. It never works. Trying to broadcast from a helmet. Well yeah, I'll need my mouth. Not a helmet. A helmet won't work or neither will like a full mask. But as long as like a crown could work or a

or like a pop hat or something like that. Whereas right now I really can't with the headset. I got to get an ear button. I should buy any ear microphones or in ear monitors. That's what they call them for Halloween and stuff. Because I had a few good costume ideas that involved an oversized hat and that just doesn't work with the headset.

Yeah. Yeah. I usually just look for the funniest thing in the first few rows at Spirit Halloween that like you wear to look like a hot dog or a hamburger or a taco or a Pikachu or I think I've actually done multiple Pokemon. I balance my needs and the show's needs. I'm like, I'm going to look ridiculous. Woody, no one watches PKK because of how fuckable you are. Not one person is like, ah, I'm out. So if you look silly or whatever, it's okay.

Yeah, I want to look silly. That's the fun. But you have to get the costumes that if it's going to be above your head, it has to be one of those like cutouts where your head comes out with the thing, like the Charzard head above it. Because otherwise, you can't wear something covering your face and still sound. okay because i remember you had a very very kyle spooky mask probably five six years ago oh yeah my but you had to yeah you had to take it off immediately because you just sounded like you were underwater

it's terrible i've also got an old man mask i have two high high quality latex masks masks now that i have that are sitting in the closet i found the satan mask one time in the closet and i just it wasn't like i saw a snake but i was like oh yeah i have a satan mask in there i forgot um I've always been like an art nerds. I've always made my costumes. I never had like a cool like a mask or anything officially a costume. It was always just some crap I put together. So I've never been that cool.

It sounds like Woody's got his picked already. Yes. He said he shipped. Okay. Okay. It's a little late now. But it would be interesting if we had a theme one year. And we there like not necessarily.

It's fun to see what everybody does. There would be. I'm not suggesting that we all just do. Star Trek characters, for example. Although, if anybody wants to, but I'm saying more like everyone's interpretation on a team. I'll do the blackface. Yeah. You'll just be Jordy LaForge. Just have that visor on.

Never seen even a second of that show. You've seen Reading Rainbow. You've seen Reading Rainbow, right? Of course. That's Levart Burton. He plays Jordy LaForge. He's the engineer on Star Trek. Oh, he's good then. I like him. Yeah, he's pretty. He's also blind. And he's got this visor that he uses to see. Oh, man. So, let me just do mine real quick because it's about, it's not funny. During like the initial things, maybe before they filmed the first episode of that,

the actor was goofing around and he put like a woman's hairband across his eyes. And the producers were like, I love it. So then he wore that for like the next 12 years. Yeah. Wow. A real unforced error there. Even worse, it messed with his vision and he could barely see out of it. Because in reality, the prop is just these gold metal vertical bars in the middle of your vision across your eyes all the fucking time.

Now, obviously in the show, it's like connected to like these implants and his temples. And it's like feeding all sorts of visual stimuli straight to his brain. You know, he can see infrared and he can see all sorts of things that it's often a plot. But in real life, he's blindfolded. In real life, he is, he's just like touching buttons willy-nilly and pointing in general directions and addressing shadow people that he can barely see. Yeah. For, and to Woody's credit, yeah, like 12 fucking years. All of the original series and then like multiple movies, like three or four, by the end of the movie.

Can you imagine how many times he was happening to do a scene? And he's like, why did I make that joke nine years ago? Now I have to be like, Mr. Spock. the coordinates aren't on point and whatever they say in that show still never seen

still never seen one second of one episode of Star Trek I mean you're just depriving yourself of greatness if you don't want that little slice of pop culture in Americana

I'm not going to shovel it down your throat Taylor's over there bragging I wouldn't I've never been with the woman not one time nice flats tail wow coming from an accountant

great I'm right there with you. I saw like old 60 Star Trek. I've never seen any modern Star Trek. I never saw Seinfeld. I've never seen like half a Simpsons episode. Like I never watched, like I've, I've missed out on so much stuff that people talk about. I have no idea. You're fine on friends. Never invest in any time in friends. Don't do that. No, I never miss it. But about the Halloween costumes, though, when I was in college, there was this guy and I didn't really know him. He was in some other department of school grad student or something like that. But in Athens, Georgia,

like all the college kids and the adults would dress up, go downtown, trick-or-treat for shots at the bars, whatever. Now, I'd see this guy every year, he would get, he would pick a theme like Ghostbusters or Dukes a Hazard or the A team or whatever, and he would find people to be every single A and B character and C character in the entire show, but he was in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy and he would be the car. Like they make like a plywood cut out and he would be the Ecto 1 or the General Lee or the Ghostbusters, I mean, excuse me, the.

18 ban or one year it was Star Trek and he was like the ship and that he would just drive his chair around with this big wooden mockup of the it was awesome I thought that dude was cool wait they would trick or treat go from bar to bar for bars give out free shots on Halloween I didn't happen sometimes or just go hang out see all the costume it was man there'd be 5,000 people downtown and I was uh I'd usually go for comfort like I made one time I made this suit it was a it was a beekeeper outfit so I just had like some coffee shoes and like some painters overalls and a big floppy hat and I took some of like like that mesh for like bridal veils and like a wooden hoop for needlepoint and just hung it off of the hat. Then I just found these

little bees for like a just putting like wreaths and I just put them on pieces of floral wire and I put about a hundred off around my head and they all just sort of swarmed around my head. But it was easy. I could just take it off and I had to deal with any makeup or whatever. That was pretty easy. I did a weather channel one year and that was interesting because like my wife at the time had on like we had like the blue coveralls and she was like one of the chicks and we made weather channel logos and I just made like a like a cardboard box with a flashlight and a bunch of crap and look at big camera put an LED light on it but for some reason all the college kids thought that like they didn't occur to them that we were the weather like they were in

costume too they just thought we were the weather channel for some reason so we're just like pretending to film people and they're like you're jay bulldogs yeah like cramming the camera and like everybody just thought it was real TV and they never occurred to them that we were just dressed up to it was kind of fun one of my favorite costumes I ever did was at this point probably 10-ish years ago with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I went as Ramsey Bolton and she went as Rique. And so like she was obsessed with Halloween and costumes but was not in like the hoary way. And so she like was, we were like getting ready to go out and she's like putting stuff on her face to make it look like,

sooty and shitty and what not. And then she held a banner of the Bolton flag that she also made. And then the whole night I just had her like on a leash. Like just like leading reek around. See,

I had a similar costume idea for one of my ex-girlfriends and she would not go for it. I wanted to be a Catholic priest and her to be my altar boy. And I was like, this is going to be hilarious. I'm going to be feeling you up and you back like you don't want me to. She's like, I want to do it.

And I'm like, I already got the priest costume. I'm going as a priest. You do you. And she, I don't know, she went as a fucking butterfly or some shit. I don't know what she did. But I was very upset. She ruined your combo.

And it was, and it turned out there was like a couple's costume like competition at the party. And I feel like maybe we wouldn't have won because I've told the story before, but that one guy went as Kanye and Kim Kardashian, and he did full blackface. And she had like a fake baby.

She was like holding by one one hand. Like she was like being real like goofy like Valley Girl while the baby was dangling from her arm. And he had those glasses that are like the plastic like bars, not real glasses. And I think she had brown face on maybe too. You maybe wouldn't have won, but you would have placed. I know. I know. I know if I know when you're, remember Ellie and Gonzalez.

the kid that floated from Kiva. So like I went as him with the little tank top in the shorts. I found this inner tube that looked like a tire. And we just took like a woman's mannequin hand with the fingernails hanging to it because like a shark ate his mom. And then my wife was

Jambanei. What the fuck story are you talking about? Some Brazilian kid grabbed him to a balloon and floated to us. Only people older. Do you know about Eileen Gonzalez? I have no idea who that is. Oh, what do you know, right?

Like this is, we're old enough. Am I the cutoff? is 35. Yeah. It was a big issue. I remember the name. This was an immigration custody issue that was a big national, maybe global news story back in the day. And I believe it came in the wake of the ATF and Janet Reno had killed all those people in Waco.

And there was a lot of attention on government overreach of her and her departments, et cetera. And this Elyan Gonzalez guy, I think he was Cuban or something. He was from another country. And there was a custody issue where he's like now staying with his family in Florida. and they were trying to kick him out of the country, I believe. And so they sent the FBI in to, like, raid the place. I think it was the FBI. And there's the, and maybe the FBI didn't know,

but there was a journalist in the house with them at that moment when they raided. And so Elyan, the little boy who's maybe seven, six, is in a closet, like, hiding with, like a relative. And there's this photo that that journalist, fucking, He's like an NFL photographer. Got him. Got him. And like here's this guy fucking ripping a closet open.

MP5 at the ready to steal a seven-year-old into the night. He's almost wearing too much stuff. He looks like a paintballer. But the part of the story that kind of made the kid's backstory was like his mom had tried to like float him from Cuba to Florida like on an intertube. And like a shark got her and like she kind of sacrificed her. to get him to America. And like that was sort of his whole, you know,

backstory to all of this. And yeah, in the day, the little kid that washed up on the shore with the one arm left hanging on to the tire kind of thing. That was sort of the basis for it. But I was just one of those. The news was like every night on the news, it was like,

and tonight, the Ealing Gonzalez story continues. It's like, all right. This is a chapter. All right, let's go. Yeah, this is pre-internet. Yeah, pre-internet. Yeah, we cleaned it up

Yeah, it was. And that's like when you could like trust those guys. Like Tom Brokaw and Walter Cronkite. That was like news was not partisan. It was not owned by some media company that was contributing to some like political side. I mean, they were, but I don't know, in my head looking back like those like if they told you're going to be invaded, you believed them. And now they're just like models, you know. Like I don't know.

It just doesn't seem like the same kind of deal. I like it. I like that the people who give us our news are pretty now. They're all fucking bodacious. I really like, and I'm sure you've seen her, that super thin blonde chick who does the news. And she reads the mean comment. Oh, read the comments.

Yeah, she's great. Yeah, she's hilarious. Which channel is this? And what's your name? I have no idea. She's some local news gal somewhere. But she goes viral frequently because she reads her mean comments about her. And it's like thicker than zoo glass.

And she's reading them. And she goes, the next one is like, bitch you obese okay the next one is like she looked like she looked like a blonde jiggly puff and she's like can we pull up jiggly puff

and they pull her and she's like yep nailed it oh so she's a heavy gal I mean she's thicker but she's a beautiful girl though she's thicker than zougar girl she's really pretty do you know what jiggly puff looks like oh okay yeah I see I see where they're going from jiggly puff is a fat

is what it says in the background she's fat that rocks that's so funny yeah they're really funny thicker than my granny glasses that was one of them yeah she's somebody's bull's i think she's too fat her arms are yeah i would she's a bit of a tubster but you know that's okay someone thinks she's perfect i bet i can see really pretty yeah there's definitely a black guy out there who loves this that's incredibly racist yeah you I can't say that regardless of how accurate it might be, Taylor. First of all, there's a lot of...

That's my problem. I say true things too fast. I'm okay with this. It's a little... She needs to lose a little, but she's not far away from like a specific... You're dipping the wick? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah, I obviously am too. Yeah, obviously you are too. You know what, that...

You and that girl could sit down to the third bowl of nachos and fucking like zen. together. All right. Ooh. Dude, I want to change the topic just slightly. Because we were saying things you can't say. I was watching Brandon Herrera, right? He's debating this Democrat chick. She looked terrible.

She did a horrible job. And she's, I'm going to mess up the URL a little bit, but she's like, do you know what this man said? Go to he actually said that.com or something very close to that. and I'm like, oh, okay, let's check it out. I go there. There's like five clips from Painkiller All right. And some of them, he didn't even say.

It was guilt by association. I think all he said is like, yeah, yeah. You know what he was agreeing to? Me, I was like, if you see a minivan with like five kids and little stickers on the back? You know she puts out. And they're like, he actually agreed with that. That's so good. I'm glad to hear it was you and not me in the in the in the class when he's I went thank God I'm we've all said we're probably on there too Kyle if yeah I mean we're sitting there laughing along for damn sure it and it's very offensive what would he said and I don't co-sign it you know now that I have time to think about people who are impacted by his thoughtless words so true yeah that's something I would never co-sign

Can't. Can't. Can't. But he's a count. What do you expect? Yeah, gay. So Brandon rules, though. I hope he wins whatever fucking race he does. Like, after he won the Republican thing. Like, I know that Texas is trending more purple-ish, but like he's got to be leading a Democratic lady who

there. Well, I didn't know as much as Woody, but I did hear that she really botched their debate. Yeah. She was terrible. First of all, she was like 140 pounds overweight. And he was dressed perfect.

Like he had a suit on with the red tie. He was put together. He was immaculate. He looked like he was ready for the job. She looked like the seventh best person at South Valley Elementary. Like, and she was a school teacher. And when she spoke,

she was nervous. She's not stuttered, but like put pauses where they didn't belong. And he spoke with confidence and clearly had like Prack prepared for this debate because he knew exactly what he wanted to say for every question. He, I thought he nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome for, I want to get Brandon back on again sometimes soon. He's maybe after he wins the race.

He doesn't want to add any more clips to he actually said it.com, I'm sure. Oh, that's true. I didn't think how someone wouldn't want to be filmed with me before. important thing. Yeah. Yeah. Or you or any of us. Yeah.

You know, there would no need to single out any one person for sure. No. It wouldn't be me. Meanwhile, there's like clips of Brandon Herrera being like, what's that? Like Taylor? And I'm like, oh, don't you think of, da, don't, don't, don't, just doing the most offensive voices you can imagine. I put the URL in there.

It's actually he really said that. dot com and then it redirects to another site. He really said that. Can I click this or is that data breach going to steal my info? I think you click this. Yeah, I'm sure it's fine. Oh, man. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

They really got a lot of clips of them here. Dude, how many of them? Scroll around. I see three with us, four with us in it? We're on here a good bit. Yeah, three so far. This is just a montage of him being hilarious. I guarantee.

Hey, there we are. Is that? Yeah, here's the one about the necrophil's a hot pocket with a cadaver and that he would feel a little bit better as a wife if her husband's necrophilia involved. This is poorly written. Scroll down. I wouldn't get all dead with a necrophiliac.

Here it is. Here it is. If I see a bumper sticker with like four or five kids, I know that mom puts out. That was me. And true. And you deserve that win. She doesn't need, and you know she doesn't need protection either.

Woody, you should go on Twitter and, like, quote, tweet that and be like, my name's Woody's Gamer Tech, okay? Don't erase my identity. How dare you? That would be good. You're not getting your credit for this one. That's crazy. Those were a lot less offensive than I thought they were going to be.

It just seemed like silly nonsense from people joking around. that liberals are lazy because they didn't find nearly enough I'm sure worse has been said the worst thing that he said was like he joked that I'm not saying that the 19th Amendment was a bad idea but the country went to shit after yeah and that's something

I'll say on his behalf because obviously true not great I don't think that all men should be able to vote I think we may have made a mistake there as well we need to go back to my system land owning land owning men

who are net positive taxpayers why yeah net taxpayers landowning men and you can even go a step further and say with children because you should have a stake in the future if you're going to vote on it I agree that's insane

I don't agree with the landowner or the kid thing the net pack taxpayer I'm closest to and you should have to serve two years in the military yeah well, no. Oh, all of a sudden something you don't qualify for. Weird.

Well, okay. I could, I could. Mr. Leigh. Come on. What do you do? I could be a warrior for the team. Get the hat. Get the hat.

Earned's not given, baby. All gave some and some gave all. And Taylor's stay. Thank you. I love, Taylor thought DD 214 was, like a company or something like like I had no I had no division of the Italian or something like that but at the end of the day I am a veteran legally speaking I served our country of just you know if I told you I'd have to kill you like the things I've done for this country

would blow your mind ah yes what are you a veteran like you said technically you're a veteran was Is that just a joke? I have this one friend who's like a smart computer gap. I said legally speaking. I am claiming I am a veteran right now. And all legal consequence for that. No, no, no. It's genuinely a crime.

It is a crime. I realize that in the middle of the joke. It's funny when you go to jail. Semperify. Ura. Yeah, I love that hat. When I saw that hat, I was like, that's such an ironically perfect gift that I have to buy that hat. I love that hat.

It's tremendous. Yeah, I don't like stealing value, though. I'm wearing this to the grocery store the other day. Oh, my God. I didn't realize as I was still wearing it. It wasn't until I got back in my car. You actually did? Yes.

Yeah. Nice. walking around like a fucking idiot Can you imagine what of those YouTubers approaches you DD 214 huh? Huh? What's your M-OS?

Huh? Soldier? Oh, I noticed your your pants or tucked in wrong. What's that about? This was actually a joke. It ain't no joke to me,

but but you start fucking shaking and trembling. Like you got you on the case. He's got you on one of those videos. Listen, bud, I'm in this aisle to get some on the border tortilla chips and some extra toasty I spill blood in three continents, mister. I spill blood. And I would look at him and I'd just shake my head and I'd go,

you don't know what I've seen. You go, what's your M-O-S? I go. You wish you knew. Answers like that. That's how you get out of it. It's vague. At the grocery store.

And aloof about it. Just be aloof. Be like, I remember my first deployment. Like, stuff like that. just being condescending and shitty. You mentioned denang and the Delta or something like that. The jungle, the smell of the jungle. How old are you?

Old enough, brother. That's one of my favorite. That's what my favorite is always sunny in Philadelphia jokes. Frank's like, I was in Vietnam. He's like, you went to Vietnam of the 80s, Frank. He ran a sweatshop. Oh, that was a good. office thing too where Michael goes to

paper prints or prince paper that other company and he's like oh what did you do and he's like well I started this company as soon as I got back from Vietnam and he's like oh it's a beautiful country yeah I put my foot in it I was at a dinner

party a couple of weeks a month too back and some came up about travel and I'd mentioned I'd been a lot of places and somebody else at the table was like, you know, what's your favorite country that you've been to? And I said, Vietnam. And then this older guy next to me was like, yeah, I didn't like Vietnam so much. Everybody was trying to kill me.

I was like, oh, sorry, I went to the candy-ass tourist version of Vietnam five years ago. It was awesome. They've moved past it. But yeah, we're very good at killing him. Yeah. Yeah, the same thing. Yeah, the venue's good sport about that whole thing. They were.

to some other folks there and like they were of the opinion that you know that was your government and my government and we were doing what we were supposed to do but like you didn't do anything to me personally like like there was uh i was in sagon the where like the government palace had fallen and the communists took over and they still have like the tank they busted through the gates like on the plet there and i was there checking it out and there were these two dudes like posing with the tank and they had been part of like they weren't in the tank but they were like part of the company that had raided that so they were like the communists guys that came in. I was like, well, these guys be interesting to talk to. And they spoke a little bit

of English and yeah, they were cool about it. You know, they were just like, yeah, it's not, you know, it wasn't personal. Like the day the war ended, I mean, obviously, I'm sure some people suffered some injustices on those sides. I bet they were sour. But in general, though, it seemed to be the feeling that like, yeah, that's all cool. I mean, as an American walking around there, and I rented a scooter rode around for days. Nobody ever gave me the side eye. There's a, there's a monument there for like where John McCain. plane had been shot down where they pulled him out of the water out of that big lake. Like there's a monument there about the...

It's like a picture of stuff that he's... Yeah. They built a statue to like own him. Like what... No, no. It was one night. Wasn't it him with his fucked up arms? Like just standing in... No, I was just honoring him as a, you know, as a statesman.

And, you know, a great person got pulled out of the water here who was part of the war in there. Oh, we found him here. We torture him right over there. Yeah, exactly. But another funny thing is... He cried. people will buy you a beer if you just say Bill Clinton they will all raise a glass there's statues to Bill Clinton all over the place there

because the Clinton administration dropped the economic sanctions in Vietnam that allows them to like open up to like building cars and apparel and factories all kind of stuff like the economic climate of Vietnam changed radically because of that And so they have a great regard for Bill Clinton's administration because they see him as like the person who opened them up economically. So there's a, I mean, there's like statues and like I'll walk down the street and somebody I'll be like, Bill Clinton, like they'll just say his name and like hand me a beer. Like people were super hype about it. Were they all like respectful statues like him dressed in a suit or were. Did they do any of him like running with his little pecker out, doing the,

No, there was no Lewinsky statements. No, no, no, Lewinsky statements. No, it was all just, you know, bronze statue of a dude in a suit kind of thing. Very, you know, Ray Kroc, Colonel Sanders kind of thing, you know, just our founder sort of deal. Colonel Sanders got fucked. I don't know if you know that story. He sold KFC for $2 million in like 1960. And it immediately became like a global brand.

And so, and they retained his likeness. And so every time you see him, just know. that family's being stolen from. Wow. I don't know. Restaurant did really well after he left. Maybe it did well because he left. That's also fair.

He was a wild man. He was like a doctor, I think, at some point. And like, or, he was a clever. That was it. Yeah. He was a guy. So he forced a doctor at gunpoint to come help a lady deliver a baby.

That was it. He like rode a mule over a mountain and like took some doctor hostage and took him back. And he was kind of a wild man. I went to his wife's restaurant in Kentucky, and I was told that it was the true original recipe, that his wife was the mastermind behind the chicken. And he took the recipe and the divorce.

And it's one of those, I don't know what you call it, but it's like family style, so that you just order chicken and it's chicken for the table. And if you order, like, collard greens, it's collard greens for the table. And everything is just, you know, plates filling the, at the center of the table. It was amazing.

And it was not like a fast food restaurant. It's in like a giant old mansion. It was really cool. Oh. You know, the KFC Twitter account only follows 11 people and they all have names

that have to do with herbs and spices. Yeah, like the spice girls. What's your name? They follow Snoop Dog because that'd be kind of fun. I like Snoop Dog. I don't follow it. It's not Chinese food.

Yeah. I've had dog. It's really delicious. No. don't even say things like actually what kind of dog was it a pit bull did you do a good I accidentally ate the dog I don't I did not know that dog personally it was on a buffet in another country and I did not

I thought it was pork it turned out to be it was really good pork and I was this is amazing I mean look out how they could charge this and I was like like like Googled it and I was like oh I just had some dog but um but the KFC thing so like when I lived in England I lived in kind of the crappy part of London the first time I was over there And like there's like Virginia fried chicken and Tennessee fried chicken and they have like the same sort of white and red striped livery. Like it was just rip off KFC. But I guess over there they're like, oh, it's some state.

I don't know. Sure. Virginia fried chicken. And they were like all these like rip off KFCs over there. Yeah. Funny. I got a little biker buddy in mine told me this story. He's from whatever town in Kentucky that Colonel Sanders grew up in.

And stop me if I told you all the story of this for. But anyway, there was some old house in town. that was like for years was the whorehouse in town and lots of young men kind of their dad had taken them down there for their first time, that kind of thing back in the day. And at some point, you know, obviously it closed and it was just an empty building. They were going to tear it down and some people wanted to save it. So they started some fundraiser. And like, I don't know, they were like $50,000 short with the fundraiser by the time

the day the bulldozer was going to get there or something. And supposedly Colonel Sanders popped up and rough the check for the last 50 grand to save the building, presumably. he himself had a memory there from when he was a young man coming into adulthood. But I don't know. That was just the story. Well, good for the colonel. Good for the colonel.

Well. Time to wreck. What was he a colonel of? Chicken. I think you could just be the colon. It's kind of like Tom Parker with Elvis. I think you could just sort of declare yourself as the colonel. Yeah.

He's the kernel of flavor, crispiness. Okay. All right. cholesterol. Chris, where can find you? Oh, me. Well, these days, of course, I still have Christopher Michael's art where I randomly post up rarely. But these days, I'm on Matt's Off Road Recovery on YouTube and social media. And it's a fun channel. It's a family-friendly channel. We just go out and rescue people who have done something awful, flipped their truck over, got their RV stuck in the mud flat or somebody dumped a stolen car off a cliff on a tribal reservation somewhere. We just have adventures, build crazy truck to drive them and rescue people off road. So come check it out. All right, check him out. PGA 827.

My teammate says he plays pickup basketball, quote, for the cardio. Well, there's more to it than that, Sean. Like with Bet365, I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Sean's getting his steps, but I'm getting paid. Bet365, the home of winning early.

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