Painkiller Already - PKA798 W/ Wolf: Trashy Hook Up Stories

Episode Date: April 4, 2026

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PkA 798 with crowd favorite Wolf dancing over there. Taylor. This episode of PKK is brought to you by Lock and Load, our wonderful merch, and of course, Audible.com. We'll talk more about them later. Wolf, what's new with you? How are you doing? It's been too long. It's been a while, guys. I've been doing the paintball thing on tours and stuff. It took some time off to deal with some family stuff. I've been traveling. And our production company made a couple of movies. So I've been doing that stuff. stuff and life is being freaking crazy and I'm enjoying it.

What kind of movie? I feel like made a couple of movies just slipped under the radar there. Well, my family, most of my brother, we run our company called Fela Productions. And we came up with a movie that just came out, well, a few months ago came out called 40 Acres. Okay. And it's now on Hulu for free. And apparently what some people thought is that when they heard 40 acres, they thought it's It was going to be like some weird slave movie like 40 acres and a meal type of scenario.

Or reparations. That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not. I thought it was about a paintball course. Oops. But it's actually about a family who has to survive the apocalypse and fight off cannibals. Well, that title kept that as secret.

It did. Good call. I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. I don't want to spoil, but they have access to 40 acres. to survive this apocalypse? Well, that's part of the thing, right? Like, it's, it was like a hidden farm, and I don't want to give too much away. It got like, it got 94% on rotten tomatoes.

That's awesome. Yeah, it's gotten a whole bunch of awards and stuff where, I mean, not Oscar caliber, but it's doing pretty good and, uh, very proud of that and stuff. And, uh, you know, it's, it stars, uh, Danielle Deadwire. Danielle Deadwieler. She is actually going to be the new Scully. in the new X-Files TV show. And she's a black girl.

So little people, you know, when that happens, people get a little scared about it. So, but she's an amazing actress. And, you know, she's doing her thing. So the dead press for that and everything moved around a lot. And we just had an indie film come out called Sweetness. It's kind of like a teenage. Oh, it's going to. What's a movie where she kept the act, the, the writer.

in bed and like broke his legs to keep him prison. Misery. It's like a teenage misery, but it's with a rock star. And we just released that on independent small films and stuff. But 40 acres is our biggest one right now. And yeah, I'm just leaving that world again and getting back into my paintball tour. That's huge. I don't know to ask politely, but like do small movies that don't do like theater runs,

national? Are they profitable? How does that work? Where does the money come from? No. No. Okay. I mean, once in a blue moon, you'll have something go crazy like a Blair Witch project type of scenario, right?

But it's more to expose the production and the actors and give you more, you know, show the director what they're capable of. It's almost like an expensive reel that you send out to distributors. This is how you make a resume. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it lets you know what we're capable of and what people can do and stuff like that. All right. Sony and Paramount, check him out. He's 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.

He's willing to do the next Spider-Man, I'm told. I'm just a guy in the background. I'm just the old guy who just stays quiet and shows up on set once a blue one. You need that. You need that for Spider-Man 4 or something. Don't get me started. First of all, I'm not, I don't know if you guys are into the whole Marvel universe thing, the world. Or, Kyle and I like it.

Or D.C. What? I'm not happy. with it, but what are your thoughts on the new Gumball Superman? I'm a Snyder I'm a Snyder Superman guy. I like when Superman was dark

along with Batman, like the Frank Miller type of Batman and Superman. I'm not a big fan of the new Superman because it's, you know, it's nice and light and cute and fluffy and nobody dies and he's saving squirrels and rabbits. I don't know. That just really pissed me off the whole. And the new

super girl thing. I mean. So I have a question. Yeah. Is it because it's not dark or because it's not good? Because I love Dark Night, for example, which is pretty dark, right? And it sort of started, it kicked off the whole movement into like darker comic-based movies.

That cool. But I also like Thor Ragnarok, which was kind of silly. You know, I know him from work. And, okay, you didn't. Okay. So you're just not into funny ones. It's not your cup of tea. Is that the one that T.T.

produced. It's the first one he did. The first one he did, yes. Now he did the next one too, I think, with the goats that kept screaming. Oh, that was awful. Yeah, all right. So we're aligned on that. But I thought Thor Ragnarck was the strongest Thor. It was the strongest one, but I am an old school Thor dude. Like, Thor is supposed to be a serious godlike, egotistical character. You know what I mean? And to take them and make them funny and it just, it just ruins it for me. Like, I mean, a couple of small things when you make it funny here and there, yeah, that's cute. But when he showed up in the original Avengers and, you know, he jumps out of the plane after Loki and Tony Stark's about to jump out after him. And then Blackwood goes, although they're gods, you don't want to mess with them.

You know what I mean? And it was like serious Thor is like what it should be. What did Captain America say? There's only one God, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He like, jukeps up the bag of the plane. exactly yeah yeah that's the Thor that

that's how Thor should be it's like hardcore serious and yes it's comic they're comic books and not supposed to be serious but it's like the Frank for instance Frank Miller Sin City I don't know if you know the whole comic book world like that hardcore acting hardcore comics

like rated our stuff when you see when you saw the full Snyder verse what is it with that DC group the Snyder cut of Justice League Thank you Justice League That was hardcore Like you know

It was 10 hours to watch But you saw Wonder Woman's people dying And going in the ocean And you saw That was one of the better scenes in the whole movie Was the whole beginning At the beginning when the Amazonians

Are fighting with fucking CGI man You know that was a cool They're on the horses They've got like the MacGuffin And they're passing it from one Amazon to the other. They were like giving their lives to get it a little further.

It was reminiscent of that scene from Andor or whatever were they, or Rogue One when they're trying to get the Death Star plans down the hall. It's a cool scene. And they're getting crushed. It's great on all the characters

and it made them, it made, you know, you got some time with the Flash. You got some time with Aquaman. Everybody got developed a little bit better. But they shot themselves in the foot by not starting with the individual films the same way that Marvel did.

They wanted to catch up in five years instead of 15 years. and they ended up having to do a full reset with your gumball Superman, as you called him. I don't think I like Superman. I just don't, I don't think I've ever liked any version of Superman that I've ever seen, really. He's so vanilla and right down the middle and really doesn't have anything distinguishable about him. He's good old American farm boy, pure at heart to a fault, you know, and he's not even all broken up about what happened with Krypton and his parents are, or whatever. That doesn't really haunt him or affect him. I mean, it's there. It's part of his

personality, but not like Batman, where Batman's always going on about his fucking parents and the poker and the pearls in the alleyway. What was me? I've become the thing that haunted my nightmares to haunt the nightmen, to haunt the nights of Gotham. Like, that's cool gothic shit. I like that. I have a different complaint about Superman. I believe a good Superman can be made. You just need to power scale the enemy to make it appropriate. All right, cool, cool. My issue is every superhero I have ever seen that has super speed conveniently forgets

he has super speed from time to time. They get punched in the face by human-like motions. And I'm like, what are we doing? This guy is faster than light. This guy reverses time. This guy moves so quickly that I can't even perceive it. There was an invincible. There was a character who was talking.

to his girlfriend. And it's hilarious because he's like, this is so intensely boring for me. To me, this conversation, every one of your sentences last 3,000 years or something close to that. And I'm like, oh, my God. Imagine that it was read something. It's just a guy like now. Red Rush.

He's been dead since season. Red Rush. Yeah. He died in the first episode, I think. But early episodes. In any case, he's talking to a regular person and explaining how. how excruciating talking to non-speedsters is for him because it just drags on and on and on. He perceives time differently than we do.

Yet, I think, you know, oh, he turns out Omni-Man has Super Speed 2. That's how he loses. He catches his fist mid-thing. But Omni-Man's Super Speed seems to come and go all the time. And that is my frustration. Every speedster I can think of conveniently forgets to be speedy from time to time. That's how it is trying to like trying to answer. a coke heads question.

Like, where they just cut you off right in the middle of it because they're just just... Yeah, it's a tough skill to balance, so they're always having to take it away from heroes. Like usually speedster comics are about the speedster losing his speedster abilities.

And as soon as he gets them back, everything is fixed. He might just turn time back and forth, back, or with the flash, he's always just using the speed force to like create a new fucking reality. He's going back in time and like creating a new

alternate version of history. All the time. So yeah, speedster powers just don't balance well in any sort of comic or movie. Like same thing with the X-Men. Every time that Quick Silver is there, it's like, man, those scenes are great. We all love

those little music montage just when he runs around to like what I think one of them buy a time in a bottle. And he's running around just fucking shit up and like bullet are moving like snails and he's just moving them out of the way and stuff

that's so good. That was so well shot. He's so overpowered. He just fixes every situation. That guy dies in a later movie, a different actor plays him, but by getting shot. And I'm like, what are we doing here? Did he conveniently forget he was a speedster? He gets shot to death? He jumped in front of the bullets to save

Yeah. Okay, okay. But this is the same guy who moved like a hundred people out of the way of an explosion in another movie. But in this situation, the only solution was to jump in front of the bullets. And another thing about speedsters,

and this is actually true of superheroes in general, they get like this deadly inertia thing wrong all the time. If I am moving at like darn near the speed of light and I push you out of the way, you're a puddle of mist, right?

Like X-Men Quick Silver puts his hand on the back of Magneto's head and he's like, what are you doing? He's like, Whiplash and they go like take off forward and like when they stop Magneto vomits he's like happens to everybody the first time. Don't worry about it.

I'm like all right that's okay I appreciate it. But when they're if you know how knockouts work at boxing that doesn't help all that much either and then there's the other one where like a woman falls 80 stories down a skyscraper and Superman just catches her in his arms. If you go down a few stories

to slow that thing as you know she would just get bisected. But that's what made that's what made Garfield's Gwen death so realistic. Okay. She dropped and he caught the, he got her with the web, but her head hit the cement because the inertia didn't stop, right? So I was like,

that's when she died. And that's what made that. That's why I think Garfield is the best Spider-Man. He's my favorite Spider-Man. He was the fucking cry. Dude, when he's on that rooftop and he's been shot in the calf or something, but he's got to get all the way across town to stop this disaster.

and he just like puts his mean face on and he looks down at the wound on his calf and he shoots webs on it to like seal it up and he starts running and it's a limp at first and then it's a jaunt and then it's a jog and then it's a spider sprint and he jumps and all the crane operators like oh what's over there spider man needs a lift oh they move their cranes over the same like part of new york city's alleyway and he's swinging from one to the other like and the music done I was crying. I started crying. I'm darn near crying at the retelling. I'm so I'm so weak this way. I like it when he faces the rhino at the very end of the movie.

I don't think this is a scene that many people relish like I do. But if you don't remember, he kind of goes like AFK for a while. I think it's because his Gwen died or something and he just doesn't want to be in the scene anymore. But this guy comes in a giant rhino costume. And it shoots like bullets and rockets and stuff. And it's a real problem. The police can't handle it. So who steps up?

This kid, maybe about eight years old, adorable in a Spider-Man costume. Yeah. And he's like, you know what? Well, you let me handle this.

You go back, take care of your mom. And then he faces the rhino. And it's freaking amazing. I've watched a hundred times. Wait, the rhino doesn't look. He chooses that costume.

He doesn't look. He always did. It's kind of a mech suit. Even in the comics, he didn't have a rhino horn. He was a man in a rhino costume who had rhino-like powers. He's sort of a juggernaut type character. He just runs through things. I thought he was like that shark character.

You showed me from that other superhero movie where he just is a shark. They tried to embody that. He's like a Hawaiian or Pacific Islander shark god personified. He's a bit like Thor, but like a low-rent Hawaiian Islander version of him. They have this shark god there that they actually do. I mean, he's not real or anything, but. They attempt to do rhino in Craven Hunter. We solved that.

That didn't work out too well. Yeah. No, those moments get to me, like, even in the Toby McGuire Spider-Man, when he's on the train and the New Yorkers are like stepping in front of him, like, you want to mess with Spider-Man, you got to go through me first. That's fucking Joe Rogan's buddy. Oh, yeah. Joey Diaz.

That's Joey Diaz. I'm telling you, Joe Rogen, I was on a shit ton of edibles. I actually stood up. I said, go through me. My God, can you imagine? This guy would have fucking blasted me. And the New Yorkers don't fucking take pictures of Spider-Man with this mask off. The little boy just says, here you go, Spider-Man, hands him his mask back.

The little boy is Toby McGuire's brother. Those are his two real-life brothers there that are handing him his mask. I like it when that happens. You guys know all the fun snacks. Was he the gay one in Sopranos? No. Okay. All right. That would have been funny if you're talking about Vito Jr.? Vito, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Vito Jr.? Oh, no, no, no, no, that's completely different characters. Okay, okay, my bad. Yeah, yeah, that guy was a real slob.

He was. He was not like Joey Diaz, who's got it together. He was much more put together in Spider-Man. He looked like a tough Italian guy a little bit, a little heavy set for sure. But like Vito from the Sopranos, like even after he lost the weight, they were like, ah, yeah. I feel like they wrote that season before they saw what he was going to look like 80 pounds lighter or whatever. And they just imagine the handsome man was going to show up who actually looked like John Travolta, like his wife's.

He used to look like John Travolta. No, he fucking didn't. This guy is a slob. This guy's never approached John Travolta. Somehow like he picks up like what must be some gay men. man's like dreamboat like like a firefighting carly riding like butch tough guy who like seems very straight and like I guess he's a good looking guy enough like way better than Vito needs to be tooling around with and I remember when they're spooning in bed and I'm thinking like oh his

asshole must just look like a rocky road just just just what a mess it must be in there like I like the entrance of a dark forest thicket at the beginning of a fantasy just potholes everywhere, vines, bramble, there's bramble in there. Looks like fucking Fangorn Forest. It smells. Legless reaches down, like gets a little smells, smells sour. And a bit of Sardoman. Gimley's like, smells a bit, smells a bit bleachy to me, Air, Lord.

we touched on Invincible. Yeah. I don't know if we want to give spoilers, but have you guys seen that new episode? I'm current, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. My friend said it was the single best episode of Invincible ever.

No. I don't know if I agree with that. What's the best one ever? The train scene was the best episode. The conquest fight. The conquest fight is for me. The first conquest fight is the best episode in all of Invincible. I was nauseous by the like three quarters of the way through it.

He's like when he's fucking Oliver up and then Mark keeps getting more and more fucked up to the point where you're like, oh, he's out of commission. And then he comes back and he's just like compound fractures attached to a torso and he's screaming bloody murder. And then get the fucking mat, the magic hits Conquest and melts his skin up. But all of those Jeffrey Dean Morgan lines is there's something like, stand ready for my coming worm. fuck what did he say who is that what he says does that mean something different than he might have gone for I don't know

the last one though I thought Kyle and I have his pain I just want to mess with me right now I just want to hit something as hard as I can great I was watching the last one though not only did it have a really good fight scene which I enjoy but I had kind of wanted to see

I can't remember her made Mark's mom talk to Omneman again. Debbie. Debbie, thank you. Yeah, that scene where Debbie and Omni Man talked about the past, it was. And I wanted to see where that would go. I always kind of wondered, like how Nolan would handle this. Invincible spoilers, by the way.

Sorry, guys. Yeah, yeah. Light. Light spoilers, right? We keep the details out. But to me, that episode had two major things. We got to see Debbie talk to Omni Man and we got to see another big fight. the girl with the me

yeah she's new to me where'd she come from and why do they think she's a threat like she doesn't do anything that great dude she's like me playing a shooter on my worst day she does nothing but miss with her bullets and she don't do anything you know the circus thing where they throw the knives

next to everyone that's all she did her entire fight seed missed by a little out of all the people they could have gathered for that army. Why? It didn't make no sense to me. But it's funny because when the new season started, I was watching it. And when you saw what happened to the viltramites, my son goes like, they had it coming. I don't feel bad for them.

They had it coming. All those billions of bodies in space. And I was like, I totally agree. Those viltramites are just jerks, bro. It's like they had it coming. I'm sorry. I don't feel bad for them at all. when a person or in this case a race of people

is awful when they're on top and have everything and then they're awful again when they're on the bottom and don't have anything. Like there's no situation in which these aren't terrible people. All right, that's all I need to know. I, for one, welcome the Viltermite Empire. They're literal space gods. They fly from planet to planet.

They don't even have spaceship while they do, but the spaceship seemingly are further like minions to you. They don't need them, apparently. They can just fly wherever they want. They're space gods. Why do they have been? Why not allow them to rule our planet? I would absolutely.

I'd be a collaborator. I would absolutely be like, I'd be wearing like an omneman fucking shirt or by being like shit on me me in public and stuff, call me a traitor. You don't get to choose. You'd be wearing latex and a ball gag. They're here to breed.

What do they want? What do they want? Like, whatever they need, you know? Like, I feel like we're only going to benefit from bending the knee to the viltermite. Did you wear underwear under your chaps? This is the last time I talked to you about this. Listen, that would be,

listen. The chick who came to brief of Mark though was kind of hot. Short hair, what's her name again? Yeah, I can't think of her name. I don't know if you've read the comics, but she's coming out. I know what happens in the comics. I wonder if that's going to happen in the show.

Not pretty hardcore. You say no? I think her time has passed. I don't think they're. Are we going to get, fat Eve. I wonder about that. I'll give a little.

They call her Fatum Eve. This I will spoil for people. It's not a big spoiler, but people who watch the show know Eve is pregnant. That happened a few episodes ago. Catch up. And she gets fat while she's pregnant. And then she struggles to lose the baby weight.

But Mark fucking digs it. Mark's into Fat Eve. And I wonder if that whole thing will play through on the TV. I have, despite the fact, are you talking about the comics? Yeah, I think so. I've watched YouTube videos about the comic. I'm not an actual comic reader. Okay, okay.

Yeah, despite the fact that her, her powers are seemingly magical and allow her to, like, rearrange matter and energy itself. Like, I feel like she could slim herself down. She'd give herself a BBL if you wanted. Yeah, I always thought that about, um, the heck is Elaster Girl. Elaster Girl. Oh, yeah. Elaster Girl could look any way she want, and she chose fucking things. Yeah, booty is crazy

Well, there must be a relaxed state for the stretch people Just like how like Mrs. Incredible Like she snaps back to the normal Or do you think she's always spending You know, 2% of her flowers? Yeah, I think she turns into like a puddle when she falls asleep Oh, that is worse Yeah, like a like a big bowl of spaghetti

She's just everywhere and then she wakes up and she sort of puts it all together Or, but hold on, they don't, the thing is, though, like, there's, it's like mutants, right? Some of them have to use their power to look human and some of them just look human. It depends, right? So it's like, the elastic girl, I think it, they don't tell us how they get their powers, but Elastigar is like, I think she just stays in a normal state until she wants to change. I don't know. I never saw the movies.

You never saw the Incredibles? You just saying things. The Incredibles was a, that might be my top all time. I don't, I don't want a movie. Amazing movie. That was a good. Incredibles is good. Have you seen Incredibles too?

No. Yeah. And I saw the first one when I was much, much younger when it came out. But I remember the beginning of that movie when it's Mr. Incredible, Jack, huge,

yoked and he's like working at some bullshit like call center or, you know, financial firm. And he has to go in and then like, that actor who's in, uh, Princess Bride,

who's like, you cannot smart a Sicilian. Like he's yelling at him and being like, get your shit together. It was such a, a comparison. of like how oh this is really terrible he could just kill this guy if you want it like get get back in the mix yeah to me as a kid that delivered like the oh damn this guy's life sucks he's got to stop

resisting who he is and dive back in shout out the incredible solid movie it's especially when you when especially when you had kids at that moment and you had to see a bunch of crappy movies that's one of the movies you loved watching time and time again because you know a kids like to watch movies a hundred times right like the one of those movies that you did I didn't mind if the kids wanted to watch it again because it was kind of dope. Another one I didn't mind. It wasn't superhero related. But my brother, my youngest brother, about seven years younger than me, was the perfect age to rewatch Ice Age all the time.

That movie with like Ray Romano, who played the woolly mammoth. And then there was the saber tooth tiger and then hid the shock. And it was all that. How do you not know these movies, Kyle? You're missing classics. I don't watch modern animation. Oh, well, this is from like 20 plus years ago. I guess maybe that's still modern.

I consider that modern, yeah. But like that was a movie he would always put on over and over. And I never like every time I'd walk in and be like, there's always a good scene coming up. Kyle, Kyle, have you given anime a try? Probably, yeah, yeah, I have. But nothing that I can like remember the name of. I watched a bunch of the 1990s anime movies that are like R-rated.

The good stuff. like maybe apple seed and then maybe like something suit that gunjum suit or something there's like there's like hot people who are like like like like created they're like cyborg slash people and they're in suits and they're always stripping down naked and there's tities all the time and it's like in a good old days and maybe like lots of that stuff but but nothing that I loved um like I like the first season of Castlevania if that counts as anime absolutely I don't dislike animation I just I really, I don't like the family Pixar stuff, like Disney,

like New Age stuff. Like, I know it's like, um, Toy Story, food, bugs life. All right, well, all right, with those, those I've, those I've seen and those are very good. That's different. The three did, that's different from anime, right? Like I'm talking, like, Kyle's like, Ninja Scrolls,

old school, Akira stuff, right? Like, yeah, I watched Akira. I watched a kid. I watched a lot. of thing. I started watching. Yeah, I watched a bunch of bad stuff. Solo leveling is the newest one. When I started watching and it's like, rave reviews. I thought it was kind of boring, but I guess the new kids, these Gen Z now, I don't know, but they're like too offended for the hardcore stuff like we used to get,

if that makes any sense. Like, yeah, we used to get some brutal half-hentai porn stuff and killing, you know what I mean? So it's like the new stuff is very... Nudity has left all forms of media almost except for male nudity. I, I remembered John Krasinski has a show called Jack Ryan on Prime. And I remember I watched season. Yeah. And season one, he's sort of like an analyst detective guy who's out of his, out of his league, out of his death. And then by the third season, they just turned him into another Jack Reacher type character.

He's just a badass assassin man now. And it's like, well, you lost the whole spirit of the show. And not only that, but I think it's the third episode of the first season, random titties. Like John Crosinski hoax up with a hot chick. Great titties. And I was like, oh my God, finally, a show with a little bit of nudity. Just sprinkle a little bit of that end of those boring scenes, and you'll tie me over to the next, you know, interesting plot point or whatever.

And I watched a couple seasons. There's no more nudity. And I thought about that like a week ago, and I Googled like Jack Reacher nudity. And there's all these articles, distasteful scene that turned, turned viewers off. Like out of nowhere, for no reason, breasts. I'm like, yeah, exactly. That was a point. Remember the Steven Seagal movie when she came out of the cake on the ship?

Yes, I do remember that. Huge. Undersea. Was that Tracy Lords? Like, it's a porn star or something. Oh, is it? But it was a, it's a pivotal scene in the movie. I mean, we didn't need it, but like, until we needed him,

he was necessary. And that was like crazy. It's America, Leniac. Here's the scene. How many of those articles that are like, this is a despicable display of female, you know, how many of those authors do you think are fat women?

Like 100%? Like 100%. Like 100%. I don't know who, and horror movies are the same way. I've been watching a lot of like 70s, 80s, 90s horror. And it's like, oh my God, this is half a fucking porno. There's tittyes.

Every third scene. there's some big old titties and then they kill her for pulling them out. In the horror movies, like the 80s horror movies, at some points you're like, we got to get back to the monster because I'm starting to feel the danger level lowering. Like my idea of how dangerous this is is diminishing by minute six of her naked in a bedroom. Listen, Hellraiser had like a hardcore sex scene in it, bro. And it's like, damn, they don't make it like that.

The first Hellraiser, when they're like on the dirty mattress. and all that stuff. And I like showing my kids the old school horror movies to make sure they have some culture. But sometimes I forget this a scene in there. It's like, hold on a second. Hold on. I feel worse for your kids than you in those situations because there was nothing worse than when your dad's like, hey, you're 10 now. You're old enough to watch this. Just something he remembers from like 1980. And then you can feel him tense up when he's like, oh, I forgot there was, you know, five different three minute long scenes of this happening throughout the film. But I'm sitting there and I'm like, should I like give a frowny face and shake my head to show that I know I shouldn't be seeing this?

Or do I just kind of like ride it? All movies had tities. It was under siege is an action movie with Steven Seagull and Tommy Lee Jones. Great titties. All those horror movies have tities. Comedy's had titties. National Lampoon's vacation with Chevy Chase and Beverly DeAngelo. Beverly D'Angelo gets naked in the shower randomly about a quarter of the way through the movie, Big old nice ditties. All right. Let's not forget Christy Brinkley. She doesn't get naked, though.

She just kind of shows her thighs off in that red car, that Ferrari or whatever. Well, there's a swimming pool scene. Are you sure she doesn't go skinny dipping? Is that her at the swimming pool? I don't think it is. I think that's a different lady. Okay. Christmas vacation when he imagines the lingerie woman,

like getting on and diving into the pool, like he fantasized. It's a long time. I thought he saw them in their like, sports car, although I could be thinking about Cannabot Run. And then at the hotel they happen to be staying at the same place. He just about jumps in, this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy. And he jumps in

the swimming pool with the naked woman. That's vacation. Yeah. How about Porkies? I was just going to say that. Okay. Now Porkies wasn't. The last scene. It was about boobs. It was about boobs. It was a movie about boobs. That was true. Well, guess whose mom

didn't know that at Blockbuster? this guy me and my friends at 13 just be like oh oh they made a nice movie about that pig wonderful yeah yeah yeah that's freaking nightmare in Elm Street my nightmare in Elm Street

Johnny Depp banging that chick it is funny how they if they remove the boobs from movies somehow they've edited a lot of movies when you see them on streaming I mean just the new movies they don't have boobs in the first place it would seem Like, for instance, go watch 16 candles. That is such a rapy movie, bro. Yeah.

A lot of the 80s, like, romantic movies and comedy movies are very rapy. Like, Revenge of the Nerds. There's literally a rape. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back in the news. I mean, go back to the web. Remember that the Kleeneaswood movie, High Plains Drifter. As soon as he gets to town, he rapes a woman.

Like, that's the first thing he does is rape a woman. Like, he's establishing dominance in the town. And it's not, it's not like a port. like a gentle rape. He like drags her to a barn stall and rapes her while she fights. She was being like sassy or something. He was trying to teach her. Yeah, she sassed him.

And he was trying to like exert some dominance, I think. And he raped her. Was she like, sir, you're going to have to pay for your stay? He's walking. He's walking. And she sees he's walking. And she intentionally runs into him and blames him for running into her. And he's like, if you wanted to get acquainted, all you had to do.

a say so. And she goes, Acquate it. Why? And she smacks him. And then smacks his cigar out of his mouth. And he like, oh yeah? And he like grabs her by the arm and drags her to the barn and rapes her. He just got to town. I mean,

I mean, minutes ago. His horse is still drinking the water. Lela, he's dusty. He's dusty. Just gives him some dusty old barn dick. And then he fucks the the hotel manager's wife after that. So three minutes into the movie, he gives her a UTI.

Oh, big stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to burn when she pees for the foreseeable rest of the movie, for sure. Yeah, they didn't bathe back then. Brose nasty. Not well enough. Not well enough. Everybody's told my time.

I'm worried about that smelly coochy. There's no point going back in time if that's the mode of the day. Sure, she had good access to amoxicillin and cranberry juice. No. No. No, no, no, no, so. I hope this is one of those things. whiskey fixes.

You've got a mustard poultice wrapped around or Cucci. This is not a good time to live in. None of the times are good to live in. What happens to UTIs if you don't treat them? Your body fights it off eventually. Your body fights it off eventually, okay. Died from the flu back then, bro. It was like, geez.

Yeah. Crazy. You either die eventually or you just have a UTI that lasts probably six times as long. You just struggle with it. All the old men in those movies were like 40, 40, 50. You know what I mean? Like you didn't live that long back then. Scary.

Oh, I had a topic for tonight. This kind of leads into. I bookmarked it. This is woman. She made a little meme. She says, ladies, if you want to find out your man's true personality, ask them, would you rather be a cowboy, samurai, or pirate? And I didn't think it was a half bad idea.

Cowboys such an easy answer. You need follow-up questions. First of all, a samurai is essentially a slave in a feudal system. He may not be a peasant, but he's one level above the peasant, and he barely has more rights. And at any moment, if his master decides that he has to gut himself because of some minor dishonor, he has to do it. There is no leaving this without his whole family being massacred.

Honor is all. You're locked into this system. You can't step out of line. What was it? Pirate? God, enjoy scurvy, enjoy drinking salt pork every fucking day. They do this thing where they take peas and they put them in a burlap sack and they tie the knot tight and they twist it until the peas at the bottom of form, but like a softball that's compressed.

They boil that and then serve it unseasoned. That's the main thing you eat is boiled peas with nothing on them, salt pork and that bread. What's it called, Taylor? Hard tack. Hard tack. Hard tack is flour, water, salt if you're lucky. And then they bake it not once it, not once, but twice. They remove every ounce of moisture. It lasts for decades because there's nothing in it, except for the mealworms. There'll be plenty of mealworms in it every day. You'll think of those as protein after a while. I was just going to say that. Let's not forget that, like you are basically, you said pirate, not privateer. You are a wanted criminal. The crown has a bounty on. on your captain's head and on your head, you will be hung on site if you approach civilization. Cowboy, you've broken free from the system.

You are a hired gun, if you will, for any cattleman service that's out there. Mostly what your job is is riding cattle and escorting cattle from Texas to Montana and back, on repeat, over and over. It's rough, it's tough, but you're free, you have money, and you have pussy every town you hit. You got guns. Anyone have a different answer or a different reasoning? You know what? I was thinking about the samurai thing,

but he mentioned, you know, being under a show gun your whole life, which it really sucked. And, you know, if someone screwed up, you might have to commence Sapuku.

So not cool. Did you know, by the way, did you know why? Don't change the topic. I'm no, same topic, kind of.

Did you know why pirates were eyepatches? I thought, Wasn't it like a depth perception? I'm going to preserve night with night vision? Yeah. I'm guessing. Okay. I just found that out because everyone thinks. I just made it up.

It's because, really? Yeah. I guess. Going from above to below deck, you wanted to keep your night vision, right? So you switch them over when you go below deck, when it's so dark underneath or vice versa. If it's lit underneath and you want to go above deck at night,

you can see better. Right? Okay. That's why. But I, I think I have to go with Kyle with regards to the cowboy thing now because that kind of that makes a little bit more. I went with that too.

It wasn't for the exact same reasons. It was mostly the sweet spot, I think, of how honorable I aspired to be, right? Cowboys literally rape and pillage for a living. Nobody, I meant to say pirates. Nobody wants them. They go from, I guess, location to location, stealing, raping, and then running away. Like Kyle said, they're always, you know, on the lamb. they're from authorities.

Nope, that's not the life I want to live. And they're terrible, awful people. The idea of sailing and the adventure appeals to me, but the downsides are too much. On the samurai thing, very little adventure as far as I can tell. I think they mostly kind of like protect a town. And the thought that like if you just freaking say the wrong thing to the wrong person or like, I don't know, scratch somebody's honor in the tiniest bit, tiniest bit that you need to kill yourself now. I don't want to wake up in the morning and live all day long in fear of violating some very difficult to follow honor code. Cowboys, on the other hand, right in the middle.

You know, you kind of get back from the world, what you put out in it in the cowboy universe. If you're a good person, trouble doesn't follow you quite as much. If you're a bad person, it follows you quite a bit more. And you're still on out and about living a life of adventure. It's just land-based. I think it's the sweet spot. I don't, I mean, I think everyone would agree. Pirates, worst option by a million percent.

It's really a battle between cowboy and samurai. There are times when pirate might have been good. Like maybe if you're in the Caribbean. No, the food is bad. You're on a ship all day. You're surrounded by people who stink even worse than like cowboy. Everybody's going to stink. Everybody's only man.

You're sleeping under deck. It's all, it's rough under there. But you also framed samurai like there was no upward mobility at all. which we know isn't true. You could rank up. You could become a higher ranking samurai. If I were, let's say, like a bit of a narc samurai, where like if a different samurai was like talking shit,

I'd go to my ruler and I'd be like, you say that you're gay. And then I would, and then he would be like, thank you so much, Samurai Taylor. You have progressed to level three. And then like, And then I like over time, I could eventually maybe become the samurai lord myself. Also, think of the food comparison.

If we're just talking food comparison, we know samurai's got delicious Japanese food all the time, pirates lowest by far. Cowboys in the middle, as Woody said on the food thing. And so if we're talking just food, samurai's number one. If we're talking freedom to ride around and have guns, cowboys number one. I still think cowboy edges it out a little bit because it'll take a lot more time to rank up through the, the samurai system and if you ever got a little you know like rowdy with a joke you know you could never do an impression of your overlord someone someone would tell and so I think cowboy is the obvious

choice for most things but you made it sound Kyle like it was one pirate two samurai 100 cowboy and I think I think the samurai is a lot closer to cowboy no way I think you're wrong about the sailing and the food. I think you guys have this impression that the sales of a Caribbean pirate last weeks and months when in reality, I think they're docking like every night, every three nights. Like where are you going from St. Martin to St. James? Where are you going from St. Martin to James that takes four weeks to travel? This is a 30 mile problem you're solving. Yeah, I was going to add that that there are times when, especially if you're a privateer working, for Spain or England, like going after the other one ships.

Then you're kind of like a more like a soldier for hire or something like that. You're a mercenary. You're a mercenary. And especially in the Caribbean where like Woody said, you're just hopping from one little island chain to the next, probably eating tropical fruit and tropical women and doing okay. So to me, if you're that pirate, I'd still take cowboy over that. but I have no interest in feudal Japan. By the way, one of the best shows you could ever watch is black sales.

The CGI in episode one, as soon as they, like I turned that on, I got like three minutes in and they're like, enemy of Vashti! Are the enemies over there? And they like pan the camera up and I'm like, oh, you should have let us use our imagination there, fellows. You should have described it the way they did when Tyrion couldn't quite see over that wall. when all the green fire was blowing up that whole fleet of ships and Black Bay or whatever. Like, if you can't afford to show me a pirate ship battle, describe it to me colorfully. Don't show me that. Stick with the show.

Trust me. It is so freaking good. It's like Vikings level good. That's high praise. Vikings is one of the goats of like that sort of like ancient combat. Like it never. Being a Viking might be better than those other options. Oh yeah

Vikings are like totally free Like like their system is very accepted And their whole like religious system Is like super accepting of anything There's never going to be that moment Where like they don't like the way you raped somebody He raped a man Awesome

Assert dominance over those monks Let's rape them all I've got to rape one myself Dude you're jacked as hell You're like 6 8 You're blonde and you're showing up to where the guys have eaten nothing but, you know, turnips for 60 years. And you're just running roughshod.

You're like, where do you keep the gold? And they're like in the big church. And they're like, I'll be having it. And I'll also be eating your quad before this day's out. Like, and then you're just, you're just bouncing better than, better than cowboy. What's eating a quad? Is that, he's going to come back with a piece of gold. And he's going to cut your quadricep off.

And then he's going to fry that up. Oh, his thigh. I see. I was like, is that? I don't know the name for girl. No, I still take cowboy. I'd take cowboy over Vikings because... I would take cowboy over Viking because Vikings like what they did.

What were the punishment that got on? Blood Eagle. Blood Eagle was a traumatizing thing to watch, bro. Yeah. That was insane. So they take your shirt off. They tie you down or they like have you like sort of suspended arms stretched out, like sort of up and away. And they make an incision on.

either side of your spine so they can get to the ribs where they attach to the spine and they take a chisel and they chop through each of the ribs right before they attach to your spine and then they're able to cut some more and peel the ribs and the flesh out and away revealing the lungs which they reach in while you're still alive and pull out and drape over your back and as you breathe they inflate outside your body now dude i read something about to scream or you won't go to Valhalla. I was already willing to whatever confess it, take your shirt off.

It's like, I'm still on a cut, everyone. Can't we do this privately? They would have got me when they're, if they're like, raise your hands above your hand and show your belly, I'd be like, no. No. I don't do it. I also, I bring a hand down to pull it.

They cut my fucking head up. I was also, I was re- reading something about the Blood Eagle. Most of these guys were dying by the time they were chopping into them. And the rest of it was just effectively Viking arts and crafts. Like they were not like breathe. Because your lungs need to be in your body, like the vacuum of your body to work correctly. No, they don't.

I'm almost positive, right? I think historians don't know whether it happened or not. But according to legend, the sons of Ragnar Lothbrook did the Blood Eagle to King Ayla. It was a Netflix show. It was this. So the thing about Ragnar Lothbrook is he is a semi-historical figure. Yeah. He's not Paul Bono.

He's completely made up. Yeah. He's more like. St. Nicholas. Quasi fiction. Oh, wait, no. St. Nicholas was real.

Based on real name. St. Nicholas was real, but he doesn't have a flying slay or anything. They made more up about, the only thing is there is a myth about Ragnar Lof Brook slaying a dragon. So like when you when you like salt the rest of his stories with that on the side, you're like, hmm, did he really do that other stuff? But seemingly he did do some of it. And he was at least a real person. The movie's the TV show is tremendous.

It's pretty entertaining. Yeah. I like I played Ragnar. I can't see me in any of the other. Well, Raised by Wolves was good. But he was so intense. Yeah. Well, he was so good in that role.

Like it's hard to see him do something else. Because like that other Viking show with the. The Manorisms. The Compt, I'm at Last Kingdom with The one, that's one guy whose voice is so oddly cadenced. He's like six

different seasons. He talks to everyone in this way. And it's like, that must be exhausting. You mean, oh, his son, the boneless, Ivar?

No, no, this is last kingdom. That's a show called Last Kingdom, which takes place. It takes place within the same time period, roughly. They overlap as Vikings.

So you get some of the same characters. in some of the same regions of Wessex, Northumbria, ancient England and such. And then the third Viking show, which I think is also good, is Norseman. And it is a comedy. It is a Viking comedy that takes its Viking stuff very seriously,

and it's that like... It is funny. It's like a little slapsticky at times. The humor is that... What's that region called as a whole? Nordic? Yeah, it's like Nordic humor, I guess, and it's very dry and dark. Dude, they're all standing around after a battle.

Like, they just won. And one of the guys is like, uh, Jeff, how do you know you're killing the right people? I saw that. Yeah, I saw that. And he's like, what do you mean? He's like, well, we're not wearing uniforms or anything. So how do you know? He's like, but I think I know our guys.

He's like, you know 20,000 men. I think so yeah I can tell our guys he just points to a guy immediately he's like did you know him he's like or did you kill this guy he's like no he's like because that is my friend we grew up to bed childhood friend yeah my child with her 28 years

you slashed hornus his throat you're wearing his penis you've got a penis his penis didn't the woman rape them or something? And she just like, this one's been raped. And she's like, looking at there. They defile this corpse or something. The woman was always raping monks.

Like she would ride monks and then fuck them and then cut their dicks off and make a dick necklace that she wore around all the time. That's great. Yeah. It's a sneaky necklace after a bit. She gets home and her husband is like hearing her talk about all the monks she raped and everybody's having a big laugh. And he's like, those are enormous penises. These monks must be half horse. And she's like, these are kind of pretty average, actually.

This is actually like, you know, about five weeks of salty air. Yeah. Shriveling them up. Yeah, that's a funny show. Yeah. The Vikings were a pretty intense culture. That would have been the worst thing ever to just be a monk trying to do your prayers, writing stuff down, copying things.

And then you see those fuckers. they're just gigantic and they they're not into farming for themselves they figured out a little bit and they're like stuff turns out it turns out Norway not as not as sick as the Rocky Kingdom

Rocky soil a little tough yeah harsh winters rocky soil they they rate and pillage because it's what it's what's it's all there is for them yeah I wouldn't want to be a Viking either that seems like a rough life that seems like a really rough you know I put Viking between cowboy at number one and samurai number three.

I don't want to be on that uncovered boat, like just sailing to England. You know what? Yeah, but you know what change your mind about the cowboy thing? Did you what? Is it 1923? I've seen all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like a hardcore cowboy.

It's fine as long as you don't drink crickwater or be a horror across half of Montana. Like keep your legs closed and you won't get shot with a doo-do arrow. That's the way I, what I took. No, no, no, no. You're on 1823. he said 1923 oh well you know what 1823 can count too that was even worth you know what i mean like it's they're both the survival was crazy geez especially having to travel like jesus that was like oh what was that series on netflix prime evil you knew or you know where i was going yeah like that was so

hardcore bro they're they're so many show the show they didn't make sense if i did that does it what was that one on hulu it must not being that good well i know the one that i would mention i'd mention the the the the the one about um with ethan hawk is that like evangelist with the two pistols i said get but you've never seen that so you're not you're not referring i know the one you're talking to prime evil because we were talking about dark westerns and prime evil is the only other one and it's on there and it's very dark it's it's more about yeah yeah that's that i don't know if i want to live that existence because that was hardcore

bro. Kyle will know this too. What's the name of the really slow burn with Kurt Russell, Indian movie? Bon Tomahawk. Do not watch that if you have a stomach issue because that was messed up. That's one of the very few slow burns I enjoy. Oh, that was that went. That show took like 90 minutes or that movie to go zero to one. And then like maybe 15 seconds to go from one to 60 or it was like, oh. Man, we're done with dialogue, I guess. Like, we're just... They told you that we had a frightening problem to deal with, and then suddenly the problem's here.

Yeah. That's a tremendous movie. I love every moment of that movie. Really? I love all that dialogue in the town. The guy walks into Kurt Russell's house, and he's, why are you in my breakfast? It's such an odd way to phrase it.

And the backup deputy, like his memories failing him, he's got his sad old dead wife's grave. He's visiting. I like all that. I even like what's his name that goofy guy that used to be married to Courtney Cox and does WWE now like his

goofy like running around and stuff all that's good stuff. Yeah, nobody was safe in that movie, bro. That was insane. Yeah, it's, I like movies that genre switch like at some point and I love when I don't know it's coming. Like from Dust Till Dawn is the greatest example of that.

You start off with like a slick crime gangster kind of movie. Larry Tarantino, very, violent and then out of nowhere the middle third is a lot of toe sucking and then you get to the vampire part I I went to see that movie in the theater and we didn't see the trailer for it

oh that's tremendous so we thought it was a gangster movie starting out like reservoir dogs or something like that and then it just went left field and I'm a huge horror fan so it was magnificent loved it crazy I had like to because the people like Tarantino and his bunch who were the guys who were being harassed by the vampires they weren't stupid I'm so done with the whole like eh so three of us got murdered but maybe we can just start kicking back watching TV yeah Harvey Citell gets him going listen up first of all

I don't want to hear anybody say that I don't believe in vampires because I don't fucking believe in vampires, but that's a fucking vampire. They're like, this guy's a priest. He has a weapon of mass destruction or something like this. He can turn any water into holy water. You get cooking on that. And I'm like, this is

we're putting a plan together. Everyone's on the same team. No one's a complete moron. Like, that's my favorite part. It's hard to find a horror movie that's not dumb teenagers doing stupid stuff. You got different levels of horror movies, right? So you're going to have that and then you're going to have the hardcore.

You know what I mean? We like the B-1s, the B-Reyracorn. I like, I like Gothic horror, like village horror. I like stuff like midsummer. Blood on the Devil's Claw. Wicker Man, that Netflix movie where he goes to the island looking for his sister. I really love what's the one where the four or five guys go on that like Icelandic hike in the woods and some bastard son of Loki has a cult.

out there. Yeah. Oh, it's on Netflix. Are you making this up? No. It starts with our ritual. Is it the ritual? Yeah. Ah. It is the ritual. The ritual's very good. I've actually seen that one. I've seen it. I watched it this month. I've seen it three or four or five times. I love that movie. It's so good. You need there is a set of, there's a Spanish director who's made some of the best horror movies that exist. One of them is called when evil lurks. Yeah, I've seen it. So freaking good.

I've seen fucking every movie. Yeah, yeah. There's another one. What's it? I sent them a clip from when evil lurks and they were freaked the fuck out. It's when it's with the dog. The dog is sitting there and the camera keeps cut into that pit bull and you're like, man,

that's a scary dog. Keeps cutting to it and you almost forget about it. And then it grabs that fucking toddler and ah. Fuck. Yes. He wrote another movie you must see called Terrified. I've seen it. It's the best one. It's the best one. Terrified is scary.

Terrified upset me. This guy's basically being haunted and he doesn't know what's happening. So he sets up a camera to watch his bed while he sleep. So he can see what the hell's going on at night while I'm asleep? And he's watching that footage back. And this creepy fucking like pale naked man crawls out and is like looking at him and like studying him in his sleep and being weird. And he's horrified watching that this is just.

happened to him. And then I think the thing like crawls under his bed. And then he like realized it, it's under the bed now. It didn't leave. Like that whole movie though is full of like that's just one little scene. Even the opening scene of that movie with the girlfriend in the bathroom. When you're just hearing the thunk, thunk, thunk.

I haven't seen a couple years, but but I remember thinking. I don't know if I want to give it away, but it's like. I'm terrified, right? Yes. And it's like, that's literally the opening scene of the movie. And it was like, that's when I knew this movie is going to be insane. Because if your viewers want to watch a scary movie, legit, you got to find that movie. And unfortunately, like some of the best horror movies are foreign movies.

You know, subtitles and everything. The Koreans are good at that. The whaling. The wailing. The wailing is very good. Insane. Yeah. And then, you know, you'll have like American producers, producers come and steal.

their ideas and then put it in English and screw it up like you know the ring and what's the other one they stole um it's like the ring but it's different but grudge the grudge thank you very much joan is called in the korean i think it is and it's like the grudge with sarah michel uh gelar i watched that when it came out i must have been 17 16 18 maybe and uh i watched it at my cousin's house at like three four in the morning we we popped that thing we went and rented it popped it in and man, that was the scariest movie I'd ever seen at that age in my life when that little thing is going

ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grudge sucked. I did not like that. I thought the ring was way scarier. I wasn't scared of the ring. Well, it's because I put myself in that situation. And if somebody gave me a VHS and they were like, don't you ever watch this? I'd be like, as soon as I get home.

Like, I'd be like, what are we? Because I know what I'd think. I'd be like, there's going to be tits. Yeah. 100%. What was the one with the in the Japanese house and you see the little kid all in white looking down the stairs?

Oh, I think that's the grudge. Is that grudge? Maybe it's one of the grudge. A cat-faced boy with very pale skin. He's always popping up like he'll be under the covers with you or he'll be under the judge. You know my problem with the grudge is I saw

scary movie first. Oh, or a scary movie or scary movie too, whichever one lampooned the grudge. And I couldn't. really think of that little Asian boy running around acting spooky. I can't watch those movies, but I can't watch those

I can't watch the the funny movies like that. It kind of moves for me. Yeah, when you're like 14 though, those are all right. I like scary movie. I like all of them. They're making a new one. The preview look terrible. I like the Wayans Brothers.

I think enough. But it looks like they went back to their old tricks and didn't, don't have it anymore or something to me. That's what the trailer looks like. Like that's supposed to be some of the best content in the trailer. And I was like, yeah, that's kind of cringy. That's not really funny. But those first, especially the first three are really fucking funny.

Like they take my strong hand. Yeah, yeah. Your other hand. No, it's not strong enough. And he starts like hitting his face with that weird. He's like, ah, and he just lets go with the gutter and falls down. Like, love that. Now before the politically correct days, right?

It's a way they get away with a lot more. So I guess you got to take it. it easy now because you're under studios and the money and getting canceled. People are afraid now. So I'm trying to think of even the last new movie I've seen. And I think it's weapons. Do that come out this year? Last year. Last year. Last year. Should have gotten more Oscars. I think it got like sinners. I love sinners. I haven't seen that. But I know that's a horror. Sinners is really good. It's a vampire horror. And there's something about vampires.

They don't entice me. When I hear movies about vampires, I love horror. I don't want to watch vampires. So there's a lot of subtext, which you wouldn't care for. But why? Why not? Huh? You know why. First of all, Michael B. Jordan should have, like, not played both roles.

Wait, a little interjection. Do you know his, I learned this. Michael B. Jordan's dad is named Michael A. Jordan. I hope he has a son named Michael C. Jordan. that would be sweet. I would 100% do that. That's much cooler than like the first, the second, the third. I felt like you could have gotten another

like good black actor in there. That that dude from fucking Star Wars, like somebody like that guy like I didn't I don't like it when an actor plays two plays twins. It usually doesn't work out. Jeremy Irons did a good job. Have you seen legend?

Yeah, I've seen legend. Tom Hardy's a better actor than Michael. be Jordan though. Yes, Michael B. Jordan did it very well. He even hid his dimples for one of the brother characters. Like that's how hardcore he was about the role. How did he not get the

Oscar? He hit the temples. I liked the movie. I love that I love musicals. Not like full-blown musicals, but when there's music in there. Actually, I mean, the Blues Brothers to me is like half of a musical. Love that. I love Yeah. Love jazz. You know what? Deserved some Oscars on those grounds. The

nutty professor because Eddie Murphy plays everyone he does oh I see what you're saying okay okay okay I thought you're talking about or Austin Powers one of those Austin Powers movies no sinners is good I just thought it was blown out of proportion about it was the most nominated movie of all time you know I I really no wasn't was it 16 wow well but but who cares like was it the most winning movie no that's Lord of the Rings 10 I believe the Rings got ton but nice yeah but I think Senna's got like six maybe, four or six? At least three.

You know, like, I watched the second time the other day, and I appreciated it more. I caught some stuff I didn't catch the first time. It's, there's a lot of subtext, you know, that I really like the, the Irish, like folk singing, like circle outside of vampires. Like, all that stuff was cool. Did you see that he went to the Oscars wearing his fangs? I did. I probably would have left the fangs at home. Probably left the things at home.

Get it because I'm the actor. Thanks for that. He brings two hats or however it works. That's funny. The Lord of the Rings did get the most Oscars. But Ben Hur and Titanic also got 11. I thought Titanic was up there. That's just for Return of the King, right?

Just the last one. Yes. Okay. Yeah, but, you know, combined, I don't even know how many. It's a bunch. I've never watched the Oscars, but is there any sort of, like, downgrading? You've never watched the Oscars? I've never seen any of those award shows, but I know, like, people will say, like, Oscar nominated.

But if something gets nominated for, like, 15, and then they only win three, is there a little post-game analysis where they're like, I guess this movie wasn't as solid as a lot of us thought there were? Whereas if it got nominated for 15 and at 1-11, it's like, okay, this really, this really, rocked all-time movie. The Oscars are known for for missing the ball a lot. Like the year that saving Private Ryan was nominated, um, the, it's that Shakespeare and Love movie won. Yeah. You know, like, like, they're known. Sometimes they'll get some years you'll get to like artsy, way too artsy that and have movies people who never watch. You know what I mean? And in some years, they get it right. It's weird. Who chooses it? Like, who's on the, uh, the board of I think Oscar just have, dudes, they just have instituted a rule where you have to watch all the movies to be able to vote.

That was this year. This is the first year where you had to watch the movies you were voting on. So just discount the Oscars entirely. So the neat thing about Oscars, like for the past couple of years, Polymarket have nailed who's going to win the Oscar nominations. And it's suspected it just gets leaked and people are printing free money by betting on Oscars. Well, if I've been to a couple of words shows. it's weird because some awards shows like the Grammys are pretty fixed because they'll let artists know who are performing if they're going to win or not or they'll or they want certain

artists to show up and be 50 not the album of the year they new album of the year like like the year the 50 cent the year in the club came out yeah yeah that was the biggest record on the planet and he didn't win me i listened to that yeah yeah everyone listened to that but look at how many time. Look at me. Especially me. I just imagine

Tonya got ripped off. Tanya got ripped off. Bottle full above. Imagine what's me. Eminem got ripped off. Kanya got ripped off. Like there's a lot of artists who should have wanted to do. Did not at certain points, right?

So it's a political game in the music industry. Just like it is in the movie industry where movie producers have to, you know, you send gifts to whoever's ever voting and you try and grease the palms and you send out, you know, invitation.

I mean like it's all that type of political stuff and I guess is all the are you as big of a fan of 50 for his like spike king status as I am like the way he goes after Diddy yeah I think he's funny I like that interview because he knew that station plays at the prison like like he's so spiteful he made that whole documentary about him like well that stuff a lot of those guys have it coming though because like for instance why he's on jaw roof so much big right because murdering tried to stop his career, like end his career period.

So you hold on to that and he just keeps it going. You know, and he doesn't, he's at a point now, he's making so much money with his TV shows. He doesn't, he's got FU money right now. So he says,

why not? How many times he's shot? Was it nine? Nine. Yeah. And he lived and it's like, bad shot. Terrible.

Yeah. Gangster shooting, baby, gangs are shooting. Was that like three and both forearms? Yeah. One of each quad, maybe a toe shot off. God, but it's like, yeah, it's, I didn't think it was a good movie year.

Like, last year wasn't a good movie year. Weapons and sinners were my two favorite movies. I really liked weapons. That was bizarre. Like, like, like I was just. Did you go to the theaters yet? No. I don't think any of us had been to the theaters in really, really long time.

It was so much better at the theater because the end scene where she's being, chased, like the whole audience, the whole theater was just losing it. I want to avoid that, though. Really? Because it was silent in my house because my girlfriend knows better.

I was rushing back in with snacks. The right movie theater like cheers and excitement can add to this experience. We loved it with UFC. I know it's a different thing, but it added to it. I've seen some Star Wars movies. I've seen some Marvel movies in theaters where we are

of the same like nerd core mindset if we're watching it on opening day and and there's no like little children who are distracted there are no people on their phones there's none of those old people who are just killing an afternoon or something that you get in matinees sometimes everybody's a fucking star wars nerd so when they see darth vader you hear everybody gasp or when when like when captain america did that man to show up when no when captain america got mill near the the yes this This sounds terrible. Movies I want to watch in silence at my house, sporting events are objectively better at the arena.

Those movies, there are a few moments that can capture the energy that you get watching a sport with a group because you're also same mind. We all want that guy who's down and out to land that punch and win. And when he does, we are all feeling the exact same emotions

at the same time. And we're all cheering the same way. and you're one with the audience in the crowd. You get that concert sometimes too, especially if we're all singing along to lyrics that we've all heard in our car a thousand times. Like everybody's of one mind. You can do that in a movie.

When you do 27 Marvel movies or whatever in a row, and then it's go time. We got 15 minutes here, something like that. And then Captain America picks up that fucking hammer. And it's in a... That sounds just terrible. I don't want to hear people cheering during a movie because I'm going to miss stuff.

You don't miss anything. He catches it and pauses for applause. Like, when he catches it, the camera's... The world freezes because Captain America has a magical fucking hammer. And the camera just goes, shum, it follows it to him. And the impact of catching it kind of brings his arm back and he's just like... Hold on, hold a hold on. When the first thing he does is use it, is competent with it.

He calls the lighting from this guy. and drops it on Thanos and we're all like, Oh my God, Captain America's Thor Strong. People are throwing their fedores at the screen. Captain America is this legend. He's perfect. He's a wonderful superhero. But honestly, his greatest power is leadership.

And you're like, you know, leadership is cool and everything, but you ain't Superman. But now he's Thor with leadership. And it's dope. When the theater went quiet, right? And then you hear, all you're saying you hear on your left, on your left in the, and then you, and you see the circle start opening up. And the whole crowd in the theater just freaking loses it. That's a, that's a moment you keep.

And while the crowd's losing it, he's like, is that everyone? And they're like, you wanted more? Yeah. And man with the incredible Hulk in his palm. It's like, holy shit. Ant man gets big. You know, it would be better than leadership as a kind of ethereal skill. I want to be a master of assumption

where I could just look and I would be like that guy's got a gun or I could see like someone people are getting excited at Chevy's the food's getting brought out and I'm like that's not ours no matter what I can just assume

your buddy brings a new girlfriend won't work out completely Oh, that's like... You're bluffing. I'm the best poker player of all time. I mean, the last one was when they brought Toby McGuire, when as Peter Parker came, the different Peter Parker's came through the ring, right?

Yeah, yeah. Like, that was pretty cool. Nice goose bump moment. I love that. Garfield saves MJ. Like, and, you know, they were... Yeah, because... Yeah, and he saved her in the way his girl died, right?

I didn't consider that, but I want to know, do the Spider-Men that can create their own web bully the one that needs a machine? No, but it's the other way around. Only one of them can. Toby McGuire is the only one who creates his own webbing. Then he should be bullying both. I mean, they were like, it just comes out of you? Like, yeah. Wow. Did you guys get bit by like shittier spiders? It would be funny if he was like, mine comes out of my ass. There's really nothing to be done for it. It's kind of spools up back there.

I think I know what's going to happen in the next one, though, and it's going to be kind of freaked out. I think they're going to kill a bunch of people. I think they're going to kill a bunch of people. I think. I hope they kill that chubby kid so he can move on to, like, a real job or something. That's funny. I think he's going to mutate into a spider.

Man spider. Yeah. I think he's going to completely mutate into a spider. Well, that's my way. Does that happen in the comics? I think it's going to end to a part for a part two.

I think he's going to mutate completely into a spider and loses humanity. Maybe Dune will like corrupt his DNA and turn him into a manned spider. But then Zendaya fucks him anyway. I want to see that. I'm going to wrap her up

in one of those like like like pouches of white silk and just open a little slit. Some BDSM with spiderwebbing. I only saw the first doom, but something, and I know Harkin is the bad guy, but damn, that guy plays by his own rules. No, he said Doom, not Doom. Oh, Doom. I thought the guy who was in Spider-Man was also the blue-eyed guy in Doom. It was also in that movie. It's fine.

It kind of works. It works. I don't care for her. I don't care for her, pouty little face. I don't care for it. It seems really nice. I've only seen her in Dune. Desert power. Well, I think we can agree every fucking thing about Dune is absolute trash garbage. It is just a movie designed to test your attention span. I like Dune.

I fail repeatedly. I, oh my God. You see the original with Sting? Yes, I was young, though, and I had just read the book. We've all seen the original. Yeah. I, I, it's kind of fun. The new dunes, Jesus.

Is it the first one movie or is it just CGI? I don't know. You're just watching. Here's a showcase of architecture, just room after room. I look the first one a lot. I thought the person was tremendous. Like a solid, like eight and a half out of 10 on the Kyle scale. He's agreeing with me, not you. The second one

the second one, the second one, definitely should have been at least 30 minutes longer. Like the second one, GGI architecture shots I like all that architecture I like that showing

the magnitude and the scale of just how massive like we didn't just like show up with our family like a planet just moved to a new planet like everybody just moved here

like the whole royal family I love I love the mac how how massive those ships are like a scale of it all I just scrolled hours to get ready the second movie

needed to be longer it felt like they were big plot points chopped out and it felt like we were just like this happened and then that happened and then that happened and then that happened and I'm like, whoa, there should have been like some buffers between each of those that happens.

Like one of the characters, like one time you see her and she's like, I'm going to the south to rally all the tribes to your side, Paul. Okay, mom, great. And like we see her like six minutes later and she's all like tatted up and all the tribes are assembled in a massive room. Like she didn't just get the tribes together.

She assembled like the convaled like the convaled like the Congress of tribes people. And also it's like all these desert people, either all of you should have British accents or none of you should. Like, don't have, come on. Don't mix and match it.

Different parts of the desert. I can get over the space Muslims. That doesn't bother me. It has different accents every few blocks. Why do they need to be more consistent? Because I thought they were in the same clan. Well, it's all stolen from like,

the north of Arabia, right? I don't know about that I know that they're all like space Muslims and it's got to be some allegory for the colonization of that's Lawrence of Arabia he left the Brits to go fight for them with and for the Muslims

like that's the whole in the desert I have seen that I haven't seen Lawrence of Arabia goodness gracious okay that's all right I've like seen the IMDB on it and it's like runtime 368 minutes. It's like no, no, no. I got things

to do. I like long movies especially if they're good but there's a lot of kids nowadays who can't sit still for three hours. It has to be an hour and a half nowadays, which is sad. But everybody will sit there and watch six, seven episodes of a 30 minute show. Right?

I think what movies make sense. They're going to be long. Like throw that intermission in there like Tarantino does. Like show a little style. Give me a little break. Let the screen go black and say, Part 2. You know who else might like that? The theaters.

What if there was a break for like bathroom and popcorn? Refills. Yes, yes. 100% refills because they give you that giant bucket and then they just bank on you never leaving because you care so much about the movie. Guess what? You bet wrong.

I'm going to lose. Honestly, but I'd probably refill the drink too. I don't know. I guess I'm saying I might spend more if there was intermission. The hateful eight had intermission. They stopped in the middle and were like. That movie kind of stunk. I didn't like the new hateful eight that much.

I liked it. I liked it, but I wanted to like it. Like I walked in there with, it was almost pre-approved before I saw it. I think you put that well. I liked the setting a lot because those kind of very isolated in one setting, like, or one set,

I guess, with the same or introducing new cast of characters. That's fun. Like the first saw, although on a lower scale there like the first saw is the best saw by far because they were so limited like and they had to really

and they had Cariel Wess I don't know who that is see but look when you take it old can you see this? Yeah I've seen that 7th Samarite two VHS tapes right that's when you had to have

an intermission in between the movie because it took so long to watch Like, you know what I mean? Like, at the end of part one, you see intermission and you put it in the second tape. Like that's all. So let me ask you, are you rewinding the tape before you watch part two or are you going to handle it all later? I'll hand. Well, it belonged to me.

It's not a blockbuster. So it's later. Yeah. That was the movie where there's like little fun facts and clips occasion online where it's like they were shooting real arrows at this guy. Yeah. I think that's it. Yeah. I had to watch that for a film class in high school.

And it was the only. like old movie we watched that like because we watched Casablanca we watched what's the Rosebud one is that Casablanca? Yeah it's no that's that's uh that's

um shoot black and white it's about the rich guy the rich dude Tyler you should know this that famous movie where he's like Rosebud and then he Oh citizen Kane

Citizen Kane I didn't think I mean 17 year old me was like this is fucking boring but seven samurai I liked that one. That was a good one. So that guy invented the American Western essentially. When you look at like the American Westerns,

last man standing is like the latest version of it, but the story of like the guy who comes into, it's for a few dollars more. The Clint Eastwood movie, when he comes to town, there's two gangs and he pits them against one another back and forth. First he works for this one, then he works for that one, and everybody's trying to pay him more because he's such a badass gunslinger. That's Yo Jimbo.

That's Akira, Kirasawa's 1961 Yojimbo, I think. The trope of like in anime when someone is slashed with a samurai sword

and the blood just really gushes like that high pressure that's a mistake I think from Yojimbo where the pressure tank was turned up too high and he was like

they were like oh a so a so a sorry pressure too high and he was like that's perfect. I cure myself. I loved that. But now it

And now it's in everything. And then Seven Samurai is Magnificent Seven. Yep. You know, it's just that that's the, the, the, and there's been so many Magnificent Seven or Magnificent Seven-esque movies, the idea of getting the team together. And each of them has an attribute or skill that will, that will help us, you know, save the town. Sometimes it goes too long, though. Like the beginning of, it was like Ocean's 11 or Ocean's 12, where they're like three guys in to being like,

his name's Suzuki Yamaha. He's the most impressive contortionist to ever live. And this guy, you know, Joe Schmo, he has the deftest hands to ever. And it's like, my God, we're 31 minutes in. And they're introducing the ninth guy. Like, let's get moving.

Let's get in. You got to build. You want to care about the characters, right? And that was original. Ocean's 11 was cool, though. I don't do heist movies. The original black one, the original black and white one with a frank,

nacho is like dope right so it's like heist movies are are the same thing over and over and I'm not impressed by your twist like I felt like so is superhero stuff Rick and Morton that's not true Rick and Morty did a really good job of showing like why heist movies are stupid and why it's that why why you should even bother they're always the same thing over and over the same like a yeah Rick and Morty are a really great example of showing different things at the end of this episode Morty I'm going to talk about how everything is meaningless and nihilism is the only ideology. I don't know more.

I think I'm going to push back on you for a second before you over, overbear me. You stopped watching years ago. You have no idea how many plots that they finished up and wrapped up. Pop them on screen. That's season three. That's season three episode three or something like that. Season four, I think, because I've watched the first three seasons.

Maybe the first four. Maybe four is where I got turned off. But I know I didn't like Pickle Rick. Season three episode three, told you. What episode was it where at the first? the end of it, by the credits he was trying to shoot up. He was trying to shoot himself, but it wasn't working. No, I think that's icing, Taylor. They're definitely off sides. You see, let me explain this for you. A lot of people don't know it.

That's actually an apt comparison. Yeah, that's yeah. But that that show got depressing after a while, but then I found that he was getting divorced from his wife or something like that. And but I, well, the one guy, entirely, Well, he had that domestic assault thing that, like, quasi went away. And so they fully canceled him. And I think maybe he'd like, I don't know, said some Nazi shit on Discord. But who hasn't? So that even after the domestic stuff went away and he was like found not guilty? No, he's done. They hired a new, new voice actor. And they hire, there's a lot of women in the writer's room. So there's a lot of women focused episodes. Probably a good show. Honestly, I think it is a good show. show because like it's how many episodes can you do exactly what you described he's he's nihilistic

but then it comes around and he shows that he does have heart even though he knows that they're infinite morties and this one doesn't matter he loves this one like like that's that that's the show on repeat to some extent that's how every season kind of completes is him showing that he does care he really does care even though all he ever professes is that he doesn't care um but so they started focusing more on beth and on her they make a clone of Beth, so she's spaced Beth, and we don't know which one was the original Beth anymore. I've seen that one. Yeah, there's lots of those. They les out together, and the family has to come to grips with that. And the dad is like, it's not leasing out. That would be masturbation. That's the argument that they

make. And so they're lez and out together. And the, and the dad catches them. And, and, and, and they're like, he doesn't know what to do with it first. And they sort of like, they're all in the bedroom. And she's like, I'm, what if I did this? And you, they're downstairs with, with Morty and, in his sister and you're just hearing through the ceiling slash roof like what's going on and they're like what if I did this to her and he's like I would like that

oh yeah what about this I would like that as well and what if I did? He's listening to his dad and mom and mom have a threesome upstairs and they're just just like melting down it's a good episode. I have not seen that one. She was good

I've seen every episode. I was kind of traumatized is the one, you see the bodies flying through space at the end of Rick and Morty and yet the music comes up. Like that was such a sad ending to that episode. I was like, Jesus, Murphy, bro. I'm inspired to give this show another try. Like, I think after season three, I gave up on it. It's so good.

So the fans were complaining that like, hey, you've got left all these plot threads out there. Like, what's this do with evil Morty? What's this do with evil Morty? And they're like, do you really want to do like an evil. Morty conclusion because that was just a thing we threw out there. They're like, yeah, we really do. So they do. They're like, do you really want to see Rick catch the guy who killed his wife

in every reality? Yeah, we really do. Maybe in one reality. No, every reality. That's the thing. He has a machine that can kill you in every reality. So that's what evil Rick did. Is it a gun?

No, it's a gigantic space vessel machine thing. It's a huge anyway. At all the same time. he erased Beth from every reality. She is dead. Not Beth. Rick's wife, whatever her name was. I'm spacing on that. Like he killed Rick's wife in every reality.

So Rick's whole thing, the reason that he's there, the Morty he's with, the Beth he's with, that's evil Rick's family. He originally is inserting himself there to try to catch the man who killed his wife and he's falling in love with this family, but he still wants to get evil Rick. So they sew all that up. Like he goes out and gets evil Rick.

Are they dumb with it now? Like is no. Oh, no. Oh, there's no idea. No. Jesus. Okay. You get evil.

He's show. I feel like it's pretty good. Like, I should check this out again. Because season three was not that good. That second episode is dumb. Season two ended so well. Season two had me excited.

I forget the details of the pickle that Rick found himself in, but he was really in a bad spot. And they had him locked up. And he like had to make, it seemed like he had no good choice. I'm like, how is he going to genius his way out of this? And then season three starts and it's just this stupid, fucking awful show with no consequence and dumbness and lame gags. And I think he, the real jam he was in, he just kind of snapped his fingers or something

and left. It was stupid. The whole first episode is him getting out of it. They lock him up in that intergalactic prison. And then when the first episode begins, he's in like a mind machine with that one insect guy like playing him against himself. That's the Moulon sauce episode, the McDonald's sauce that he wants.

That's when you find out that like his wife has been killed and every, it was killed and that's his origin. Remember what all those retards were like storming McDonald's causing problems? Yes. Yes, I do. They wanted that. Open your eyes as to who else was really loving that show. You know,

yeah, you know, I mean, lots of people, cool people with great choice and hats. Did you have that Moulon sauce? Did you try? Try it? No. It's pretty tasty sauce. I'm let you know right now.

I mean, I'm good with the buffalo, the occasional sweet and sour, but I haven't had McDonald's nugs in a minute. I can't imagine the Moulon sauce was significantly different than the regular sweet and sour. It was. It was tremendous. Was it really, though? Yeah, it had like a little soy in there. It's a McDonald's cup of crap.

It was like soy. It was like some soy in there, maybe some ginger or something, kind of a little bit, a little bit spicy. It was good. I just get it, take it windy. though. I'm not eating those McDonald's. So you're one of those guys stomping on the counter

demanding. At the time, it was scary because you had guns. Yeah, I'll go full Yosemite Sam mode every now and then just fire them off in the air. That's a cartoon. You never knew what that guy was going to get up to. Good quality stuff. Jesus. And then they canceled Pepey Lapew and then they canceled Speedy Gonzalez

and then they canceled Porky Pig Yeah, I remember when they They were talking about like Speedy Gonzalez is a racist caricature And every single person south of the border Was like, why are you stealing him from us? We love him We love him more than you can imagine

Like Don't take him away When me and my Honduran Papa would watch Looney Tunes And Speedy Gonzalez would come on Hey, Kyle, Kaya boy, Speedy. And I'm like, he loved Speedy Gonzalez.

And I, Speedy Gonzalez is literally my favorite Looney tune. Everybody was cool. Because of that. When I was a kid, I loved it. Peppila Pew was a rapist. Peppiaeeple Pugh is,

I love that Dave Chappelle skit. No one, Deshapel said that? Yeah, yeah. Rapefist. Jesus. I don't,

I don't, maybe I don't remember enough about Pappi Lapeu that he was a rapist. I remember him as a guy that played by his own rules. Nah, so what would happen is, there would be a, there would be a black female

lady cat. and a bucket of paint would fall on the lady cat and make a skunk stripe on him so she's not even a skunk and pepip liby liby with it oh you are these sexiest skunk I have ever seen and she and she can't talk she's actually a cat yeah I remember that and he'd get all like he'd literally let me like force kissing her as she like

hides from him and tries to fend him off and that was the whole episode him trying to rape the cat yeah but it's I love that I love that he'd she'd run at top speed and he did he do a little hop every time it was like classic he always stayed at his own pace you know

that's why he was kind of cool he didn't like pork pretty pig me me me me me that all folks like they

apparently that wasn't nice you do because people couldn't bring Johnny Bravo back when he was he was a little aggressive why didn't

porkie pig got canceled for his stutter I thought it was because he didn't wear pants no don't tell that they didn't know No, they still have a big on the show, though. They never get a stutter away. They still have him on, no, on the new, the newer Looney Tunes, but he still stutter.

Well, why aren't you celebrating that he came overcame his disability? He didn't know his disability's a fucking pig man. I got bigger feed to fry. Let's cancel Kyle. He's a pig man. Good luck. What are the pig man protection agency going to give me a hard time? I don't think so.

Donald Trump-eyed fucker. I like when he stuttered. about you. Yeah, he I mean, nobody ever disliked or talked shit about Porky Pig ever. He was one of the most innocent characters in that But you can imagine if there was a kid at your school that especially back when the Looney Tunes was big and like the

60s or whatever, like you know that they gave the stuttering kid at school the Porky Pig treatment. But back in the days you get teased for anything though. Jesus like it's what you mean. I guarantee that's happening now. Getting rid of Porky didn't stop. bullying stutterers. 100%.

If anything, that stutterer would be like, man, I'm just like that really successful pig. He doesn't even have pants. Now there's someone for me in media. I'm going to stop my pants. I'm going to be like porky. That was a Daffy Duck thing too. He never wore pants.

No one seemed to upset. Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. He never wore pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was lovable in every way. It felt like he had. Like, he just had so much responsibility piled on his shoulders with all of those dysfunctional individuals around him.

And he just kind of had to keep it together. Every once in a while, he goes up there. And after, like, episode six of him trying to keep Eeyore from offing himself, it's like, you know what? You know, Eeyore, at some point, you've got a bit of culpability here. Come down and join the party. Me and Piglet and Tigger are having a great time. Get off your ass. Stop it.

Everybody uses that meme of like, I think it. It's Winnie the Pooh hears a noise at night, and he, like, comes out in the living room, and he's got a shot-up. People, like, people forget, poo was slinging that iron. He was strapped, and he was wearing his nightcap. He was wearing a nightcap. Why did we wear nightcaps? Why was that a thing? Was that a thing, or was it just immediately?

Was it before heat? I don't know. Did Ebony? It was like the Old West, when the fire died. down a few hours into the night. Yeah, for warmth and unheated drafty homes before the 20th century. They would wear these elaborate hairstyles and keep oily hair products off. And it was to keep the oily hair products off the bed linens and protect the scalp, especially from those with receding hair lines.

I guess nightcaps were a whole thing. Interesting. I thought it was, I always thought of it as more of a Scrooge thing. Yeah. Yeah, a big nightcap wear him, always. And I always respected Scrooge for how many ghosts he had to meet before he was like, all right. I'll pay. I'll throw a little money in the communal pot next year.

It took three ghosts. If I met one ghost, I'd be like, whatever, man, whatever you need. I'm your man. Just tell me. I think it'd be easy to convince. Yeah. I remember him being like absurdly cheap. Like, like, I remember him being.

like a millionaire and not giving the poor child like half a penny or something like that. Yeah, he was a dickhead. No one's ever argued that. Like he was kind of like the Pharaoh. His heart was hardened. When are you going to come back and play some phasmophobia? I'd like to play some this upcoming week. I've got a bunch of family coming in tomorrow.

And so I probably won't be able to this weekend evening. But Monday, I think everybody's leaving. And so I want to get back on phasma, Fasmo, whatever the slur or slang is for the game. Because this game rocks. It's so fun. It's also wonderful that you have done what you do with games, where you are introduced to it,

and then you decide to just unilaterally master it by yourself. And so next time you'll be able to give me guidance, like don't pick up the EMF, don't pick up the scroll or the writing tablet, just grab this, that, and the other. and then we're popping in and we're figuring this out. Because I'm sick. My death rate in that game is so high because we never, me and my buddies have played at this point, 2% aggregately of Kyle's entire experience.

And so we were just trying to piecemeal it as we went. And so often we'd get so obsessed with like, we've got to get a picture of the EMF. All right, go back in there and just wait for it. But because all of us were so low level, we didn't have that sage to burn. We didn't have the cross to hold. We didn't have the salt to drop. we didn't have any of those things or any defensive measures at all. None of you know.

None of you know how to play the game either. We were all beginners. Yes. Yes. Even after, but none of you played the tutorial either. Like I was joining them for a game. I didn't know there was.

At the beginning it says start multiplayer tutorial. And I was like, fucking tutorial. I'm a ghost hunter? I don't know how to do this. And like I, I assumed they all knew how to play. and I joined them

and they're all just like wandering around. I'm like, so we're going to need to find the ghost room, guys. And they're like, that's what we're trying to do. And it's like, no one knew what they were doing. I've got 45 hours of phasmophobia in now.

I am a ghost hunting master. It's been two days, chat. Two days. It is Thursday evening as we record. The first time Kyle played was Sunday evening. So, we're in a solid 40-hour work week. Yeah, I got to be.

You're working overtime. Yeah, and it was late Sunday night. It was like 8.30 when I started or something like that. I'm glad you know. Don't make it too easy, though. I know you're already at the level where you go in with no material at all. That does not sound fun to me. I want to get to know all the different options.

Yeah, it's more fun when you use all the gadgets. The highest difficulty I play removes one of the clues that the ghosts provide. For those don't know, phasmodophobia is a ghost hunting game. And you go into these homes that are haunted, your van and you bring all this gear and it's like all sorts of Ghostbusters gear and you try to determine what kind of ghost is haunting the place and there's 25 different ghosts maybe 26 or something like that and they all and every time you either detect or rule out a specific piece of evidence like a piece of an example of evidence would be like temperatures are below zero or there's uh or it's

talking to us through the radio or um it's giving off like luminescing uh under black light when it touches stuff. Every time you detect or rule out one of those pieces of evidence, it narrows down the list of ghosts you have to choose from. And you're trying to figure out what kind of ghosts is haunting the house and then do all the side objectives, which would be like get three unique photos and three unique videos and detect a ghost with a parabolic microphone or something like that. And I play on a mode where it removes one of the pieces of evidence. So you only can narrow it down to like five or six ghosts. And then you have to determine which of those it is based on like, how they act, like their vibe.

I don't want to do that. I've never seen one of them move for more than four steps before I've been killed. Oh yeah. Yeah, I got that part taken care of too. I'm having a good time. I don't really die very much anymore and I almost always get the ghost right. How much money are you up to? So there's a money sink in the game. Like at first, upgrading items cost $3,000 each and then it's $5,000 and it's $10,000 each to upgrade. I think I'm sitting on like $5,000, but I just spent like,

30,000 or something like that. I make like 2000 a game or something. The most I ever made on the game was like 350 and it was dumb luck. It's a really fun game. I think it would be fun in VR. It's VR, like you can do VR cross-platform.

It's also on console. I bet VR will be scary though. I'm not really afraid of the game anymore. At first I was pretty spooked. I was playing in here in like three in the morning. I got all the lights off and there's a mechanic in the game where you have to talk into this box,

this voice, spirit box, and you have to ask one of like five questions and if the game has like VoIP for ghosts. Like they can hear you if you cough into your mic. I didn't know that. I'm hiding in a cupboard and I'm like smoking weed over here

and the ghost runs straight to the cupboard and he's like ah! God damn it, you heard me. I got to mute myself so the son of a bitch won't hear me. So you're talking to the voice box, are you there? Where are you? How old are you? And my girlfriend's like hearing me say this stuff and say, what the fuck is you doing?

How old are you? How old are you? How did you die? Oh, oh, thank God. Where are my gloves? Come on, heat. Any day now? Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be.

This winter, stay warm. Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in store and online, though some may vary. When WestJat first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet well, welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually

travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. And you're explaining like, no, she looks like that, but she's actually 12,000. Like, she's 12,000 years old. And then they'll answer back like 13 sometimes in the Ouija board and it was like, oh, 13. She's, oh, no. Yes. How do they die? Do they like, answers do you get? You hear like it's kind of hard to piece together but it's like elderly patient murder murdered. And then like in the sometimes you'll put down this book for them to write you a message or potentially draw something and the message and sometimes they'll draw like a picture of a guy like with his head half cut off and blood spraying out of it and another stick figure with a knife.

Little suggestive stuff like that. I've only ever played one map though. That's whenever we get together I'll play like a map I've never played before so there's something else to do. I don't know why you're doing that. I know you're grinding, but how do you not get bored of that same tiny little house? It took 20 hours to learn the house. The game's so intricate and there's so much to learn. Like, it's 20 hours just to learn the first house. There's a lot going on in that game.

And once, like you said, once you get to the mode where you don't use evidence anymore, you don't use any of the gadgets, and you just have to determine ghosts on vibe. Like, when I turn the light switch on, does it immediately turn it off? When it walks through salt, does it leave foot? prints. When it chases me, does it start off slow? But when it makes eye contact, it sprints. Does it sprint when it sees me? But when it gets close, start crawling. Like, all of those are like, wait to see what ghost it is. Yeah, there's 26 ghosts. They do, there's a, the demon's the worst. He's awful. There's like a dozen or 15 maps or something like that just full on

sprints at you? It hunts across the room. Like, the demon can come after you, like as soon as you walk in the house pretty much, which is like takes you by surprise because you're not prepared at all. You've got like a fucking thermometer looking around for cold spots and there's a demon chasing you. I hope you don't play that on VR like I've seen people do because that'll be insane. No, that's what I'm saying. I haven't played it on

VR but I'm going to try it because I think it would be scarier and I do like being spooked by games. Sorry I left earlier. I had a leg cramp occur and I had to run up before I screamed on frigging Mike because it's the most painful thing for me

in the world where my thigh cramps up And it's like, I had to go and lie down on the floor and like wait for it to cool down for a second. It's like I shouldn't have done leg day today. That sucks. Oh, like day. I was going to ask is just like a like a war injury stumbling just from the great paint battles? Old person. No, I've had it since I played soccer for some reason.

And I just didn't have some electrolytes. Yeah. It's all good. Have you played phasmophobia or you just watched a couple clips, Wolf? I watch a couple of clips I'm just a Battlefield 6 for a guy right now Is you play the BR or the multiplayer

multiplayer and I'm doing Quads BR Yeah it's a lot of fun Quadsbyr is really fun Yeah especially if you're with a good crew And people are talking to each other and stuff It is the best I don't even mind

We don't even need to be the best Like if we win one or two a night Like I'm thrilled with that I just like like And I haven't played in months But when I did play, I really like just working with them. It takes me back to playing PubG back in the day. I don't know if you ever played that.

Oh, yeah. I got like 2,000 hours of PubG or something like that. And it's just every night me and like three guys in some yellow Russian sedan cruising across the wasteland. And then you see that one solo player who the rest of his teams died. And he's just trying to walk toward the circle in a cornfield. And you're just like, hang on a minute. I'll make a little detour.

It's so satisfying when you run a man over in that game. He tries to shoot you, but the cars move fast, and it's just funk. Yeah. It's funny because the same loadout I use when I play Battlefield is the same loadout I play in paintball. You know, I have a in paint. Well, I use an LNG in Battlefield with a thermal. And on paintball, I've got a thermal on my paintball gun. And I use a box mag on it and everything.

And I have rocket launcher on your paintball gun. Gojojo. Goya, I don't know that. How do I spell that? G. Just how it sounds. G.O. Y.O. J.O. And they actually hooked me up with it to test for paintball. And I've actually, I'm playing in Portland in the first of May weekend. And we have a night game coming for that.

Does it help a lot? Do the long rifle scope or the one that looks like a three-thousand? It looks almost like a bigger ACOG-looking one. Yeah, 55 Hertz. I got it here. Yeah, yeah. $800. It's so affordable. Yeah, and it's, I've got one up.

I'm going to be playing a night game with it. It's going to be freaking crazy. Yeah, there it is. But yeah, exact loadout. I use in my BF6. I use in paintball. So it's like, how well does it work?

Like at what range do you cleanly detect a person? Um, the, I can zoom it in six times, zoom it in six times and it's pretty darn good. That's impressive. It's pretty darn good. As long as I'm not on the run type of thing.

And for the price you pay, bro. It's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, that's the, I didn't know they got that cheap. I was just talking, our friend Scum is about to buy this long range. He's thinking about buying a long range rifle and he was like, I want to put a suppressor and get a 338 Lapua and put a thermal on it. I'm like, Jesus Christ, that's tens of thousands of dollars. Each of those things that you said is like $10,000. Yeah.

You told them not to. You're like, honestly, that's not a fun gun to shoot. Don't get a Lapua. Yeah, it's just unnecessary. I just got a new setup from this company called night operators. All right. New, the affordable optics.

This is NVG, regular night vision, and I've got a thermal one that goes on the other side. And, you know, it's the latency is pretty good so you don't get seasick. You know what I mean? So I do. I've been walking around the house disease for like the last month. And it's like, it's been pretty darn good.

You have an IR laser for your gun? Yeah. Might as well. Absolutely. Because it's not, it's going to suck to try and ADS. See through the, the,

the, the, uh, the site at the same time, right? The best thing you have to do is IR laser. It's so, the only thing bad about this is that the I are light is really bright.

So if someone else has IR, they're going to see it easy. Oh yeah. That's why, that's why I would switch over to the thermals, which are not going to indicate that. So hilarious. It's a pankball.

right right like that's how crazy it gets now sneaking up on this idiot with a tipman he rented shaking his gun boy he's here over there tango dad oh this guy this 10 year old's gonna remember this birthday how fun would that be to like send like like like 10 kids out into the woods at night and like out there waiting with his thermal. You just got to make it to the other. You have to retrieve the flag and get it back over here.

Ice tea. Nothing but fear. I'm what you fear at the night. That's cool. That's a good time. Yeah, thermal's very, very cool stuff. I remember looking through a thermal monocular at a trade show and you could tell

who had fake tits. and a lot of this, they've always got like, they've got like booth girls, if you've been to like anything ever. They've got like hot models there to sort of like, ah, do you want some Dunlop tires? And what do you have to do with dump? I mean, I do. We look through this literature that you've got.

You know, I actually could use a few dozen of these. You can see the cold spot where the booths are. Yeah, they're different temperature. Yeah, you can tell them. They're implants. like gave off a different and you could see through them you could see through like one layer of clothing so like yeah you know

there were $40,000 the thing I was holding though it was something from no it was either from Knights Armament or some other company um we're doing the SWAT roundup thing down in Florida where they have like the SWAT teams from all over the world come and like compete doing SWAT stuff like putting ladders

up and climbing into buildings and lots of shooting and running and shit like when the Chinese girls beat the American team at what did you see that this one of the SWAT challenges that the trendy girl team be one of the American teams like last year. It was crazy. But yeah,

go on with what you're saying. Oh, that was it. That was it. The terminals are fucking cool. As I think about it. Like, if they had beaten the American military, I'd be like, wow, those guys are elite. But when they beat American policemen, no one thinks that. No one gets it. Someone's impressed by American. Look, if we're having a battle

royale and I have to pick a cop from one police force to represent me, Like, like, I'm going to be their patron. I'm going to pay like the Hunger Games price to have a little bird flutter in some fucking, like, like, like ammo or something like that for them. I'm picking an American cop. Like, like I watch enough police activity videos and know those guys shoot. They shoot first. Then they shoot a lot.

Yeah. Some British Bobby over there with a taser and a club is just going to. No one's picking England. Yeah. I feel like Brazilian cops, you know, you just see a lot more. Oh, the bull pay guys are crazy. This guy shoot. They shoot first and they shoot to kill too.

You know, I've seen so many videos of like, apparently in Brazil motorcycle robberies are commonplace. And the guys try to jump a cop and he just like doesn't even hesitate to murder them all. He's doing that thing where someone's crawling away from you and you're slow walking toward them like bang, bang. He shoots them down like dogs in the street. They're running away. They're 30 yards away. better than that. In America, they're like, all right, we need to have a whole court process, this and that.

In Brazil, they just go up and they're like, officer, were you spooked? And he's like, yeah, I was pretty spooked. Those guys were coming at me. And they're like, all right, back out on the force. Let's stop another one of these moped guys from Yanke and purses from ladies and walking on sidewalks next to poorly paved streets.

This guy's going to need 17 more bullets. Yeah. Brother, I've been to Brazil. I would not step close to those favelas. I was in Rio and I saw I would not go close to those favelas. They make they make the the Mexican cartels look like child's play because all things are just massive cities of crime and chaos. Yeah. Yeah. Call a duty map.

I've been there. They look like the zoom out on those favelas are so crazy. There's no side yards. There's no. It looks like one of those squint and you can see a dolphin or something pictures when you come out far enough because it's just corrugated tin roofs as far as the eye can see. A million people are living there and it's just criminal after criminal violence after the women. The women most beautiful on the planet without even come close to anybody else. But it's just it's just scary.

They just had a police versus crime boss war over there like a year. and a half ago. They played cops and robes. Oh, on the cop thing, I guess every year the NYPD and the New York Fire Department played a hockey exhibition game and they got in a

three minute end of game brawl with every single member of each team just like pairing off and getting in a fight. How to go? There were no distinct winners in the fight itself. The firefighters got a lot.

Firefighters won't get a lot. The firefighters won the game itself, right? No, but they won the fight too. They won the fight as well. Yeah, yeah. Like, they knocked a couple of them out. But as a former New Yorker, like, they've always been at odds for some reason. And I've never understood that.

Like, they've always... I feel like cops and fire departments are at odds all the time. And to me, it's a... I've never seen it like that in any other shitty. Oh. I have. Yeah, yeah. Some of my respects thing, but I don't know what it is, bro.

I think it's... Well, my father-in-law used to tell me he was a... fireman that the police would show up to the active fire and want to like run the scene you know all of a sudden they're telling the police where they can i'm sorry they're telling the fireman where they can park where they're supposed to do how they're supposed to do and the firemen are like this is a fire this kind of our thing here you go do everything else and that was the conflict all the time yeah you'd be angry as a fireman you'd be like there's probably a rape around here like we can we can handle that like that's what I think like yeah frustrations with cops in general like I feel like they

always have to alpha yeah but NYPD is a different type of jerkness you know what I mean like it is like hardcore like just always being oh when you guys down time and stop and search and like you frisk all the time and I was the most nerdy black guy you could ever find as much Canadian who moved into New York like I was so nerdy and And I would frisk for no free, like the attitudes. And I get it kind of because you get in certain areas. Yeah, it's bad. But at the same time, come on, bro.

As much phasmophobia as I've played, I've watched at least as much First Amendment auditors. And if you want to see the cops not be able to alpha people, you've got to watch these fucking degenerates at masks. We're wearing masks outside the post office. They'll get in the recording everybody that comes into the post office. And as, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one guy's wearing a green mask, and he seems tough. Like, anytime somebody wants to get in somebody's face, he's like, but you'll get in my face, bro.

You don't live that life. I'm about that life, motherfucker. I'm about that life. Fucking throw down. Fucking throw down, you pussy ass, bitch. Get back on your car. Get back on your fucking car. And sometimes he'll just beat the shit out of people.

This is the First Amendment auditor saying this. Yes. Yeah. And if anybody gives them any guff at all, like, like, any, any, any guff at all. They like get that guy's license plate and Venn number. And they go over there and they start getting his license plate and VIN number. And this one guy's got like some nondescript silver box that looks like an old cassette player. And he goes, hang on, let me get it.

You'll me get it. And he goes, it makes like a technology noise. And so old people hear that and they're like, oh! He's like, I just got your RFID. Like they're just being malicious. They're being awful. They're just jerks for no reason. It's being douchbags.

But it's all covered under the First Amendment because they're in a public space. And here's the thing. If you put your post office in like a Hallmark store, which is apparently a thing that happens quite a bit, like if a community is too small, it'll be in, they'll sublet or not sublet. Yeah, the Hallmark guy will sublet to the post office and it'll be in the back of the store. You just made the whole Hallmark store public access. Not only that, you made this whole shopping mall public access First Amendment property now because we have to go through the, that there to get to the post office. And they're explaining that. They're in there. They're in there. Let's require. court and old ladies and stuff like that and everybody's getting mad and he's like I'm calling the cops call them call them I'll call them a bitch to their face or if they give me any guff and they won't

do shit they won't do shit they're all I'm rooting for if you didn't want me to eat these pretzels you shouldn't have put this establishment at the back of the ante-air I'll be honest like you're rooting for the really tough guy who's about that life bullying old women

no I'm not see that's the thing I watch and I don't know who side I'm on. Because for one thing, I like that they're like, they're educating people about the First Amendment. And I watched like three or four different YouTubers. Some of them are very passive and some of were very aggressive about this. Some of them are more antagonistic.

Some are just completely, I'm just standing here outside of Traders Joe. Trader Joe's leave me alone. I do have pepper spray. They call it soft and sited. That's when they spray somebody. And then the cops come and cite them for battery. Watch a lot of sauce and sited videos.

I'm not on anybody. because I understand why you're upset that you're being recorded outside Trader Joe's. However, the end result is often that person will call the cops. The cops will show up and they'll be like, it's covered under the First Amendment. That's the sidewalk. He can record. And you can't touch him. And if you hit his camera, you have battered him.

And if you act like you're going to hit him, you have assaulted him. And he can and Will Pepper spray you in the post office in front of all these people, ma'am. and I'm not on anybody's side, but I'm there for the show. I don't know why they do it though. The YouTube views or what? People need hobbies. That's part of the revenue process. The other part of the revenue is the suing of the city.

If you can get a cop to detain you or something, you have a lawsuit for like unlawful detainment. Is that what it is? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, unlawful arrest. And they arrest them or detain them, which is basically kidnapping for filming.

filming in public, which you're allowed to do. I don't know who's more annoying. Those guys or the sovereign city who get pulled over and taken into court and stuff and just like... The sovereign citizen guys are just goobers and they're funny and it's funny to watch someone be like, I'm an admiral on the high seat being turned through their window in the middle of a high...

This is not a Naples tribunal. You could not order me around. There's a cop being like, sir, take off the trifold hat. Dress like Captain Dude, I want a guy dressed like Captain Shiver me timbers officer He's just making me way down to the coast Am I really drunk or am I pretending I'm not drunk

It's the vessel I'm in this drunk I was being parted It should be torn out of your But you see them in court Those guys never win They've never won a case ever. The only times those guys get off is when there's some like issue that that didn't have anything to do with them being a sovereign citizen.

Like something else crops up and they get off. It's never that they get off. So it only works on morons who can't afford license plates. You're the one that I don't know who to root for. Maybe you've seen this too. Imagine this. There's a property owner and on their property is water that I don't know what the opposite of a peninsula is. What's water?

The inverse of a peninsula. No, that is the entrance between like two islands to the bay. But picture like a finger of water or something like that, like the opposite of a peninsula. And this is in the landowner's land, but they don't own the water itself.

So people come fishing in basically someone's backyard. It feels like an invasion of privacy. They may even own like the mud under the water, but they don't have the right to stop people from using the water, but it almost feels like socially they bought all this and they deserve to have the right. And they're, you know, call the cops. I dare you. It just feels like you're in,

in my case on the property owner. I don't actually have this situation. But like in my imagination, I'm like, you're in my backyard though. Like, come on, bro. Like, clearly you see you're invading my sense of privacy. It'd be a dickhead. 100%. Yeah. I've never seen that. I've only seen. I've seen people who are in their own housing complex is fishing in like the pond that's there, but it's not like in a backyard. It's like part of the estate that is the housing

complex. Because I've seen that. That would be wild if like you've used some weird right to fish on like somebody's lakehouse like water. Like you go down there. Because the water is accessible from some larger body, but this little finger of it seems to belong to a home.

Right? But they still go there and do the thing. What I have seen is boaters will will like boat up to someone's dock that that like that's their house and that's the path down and this is his dock with his boat maybe even parked at it and they'll start fishing his dock

and they'll start fishing his dock. And it's like nice doc. Yeah. Nice one feet inches away from your dock. I'm in the water right. You can fish the water there. They're in their boat. They're out in the water like that I got a problem with it. That's what I'm referring

to. They might be like a kayak some sort of fishing kayak. Oh I don't mind that. No. They paddled into your backyard. Oh, and I don't think he can do it on foot. But, you know, they paddle into, like, the water part of your backyard and just start fishing it. And I'm like, eh, it just feel like the whole. It's pretty rude.

I don't. So we can see both sides. I grew up on the lake kind of, like, with Lake Hartwell right there and, like, I don't know. We're in the lake. Like, the fact that you live. What if you're about to go fishing later and they're ruining the day? Does that work that way? I don't know.

The water. If they're screaming about being a sovereign citizen. The Army Corps of Engineers, I don't think they even own all of their shore. I think the Army Corps of Engineers has like... In the Lake Heartware, that's definitely true. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't know how that works, but we will jump back to it after hearing from a couple of wonderful, wonderful sponsors.

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I want to wait till, I'm not sure if I told you guys about this. Have you ever gone back to trying to get an old high school flame or the girl that turned you down? No. After you graduate. I got it. I don't know why those pills gave me this story, but I got to.

I think I might know. Did I tell the story already? No, I'm just kissing. You're a voter. I don't know why. Wretched pills made me think of this girl. I got a clue. Go on.

Okay, I wait to Talia. Just imagine if you had the chance to go back, like, you know, 10, 15 years after you graduated high school, and you got the chance to go back and be with the hottest chick of the school who turned you down. And you know what I mean? And it's like, oh, okay, I got to wait for it. But would you do wait for it? I have dated.

Would you do that? There were like maybe three girls in my high school. They were the hottest girl in the school. and one of them was my girlfriend. So I'm like, yeah. She had other issues. I'm glad I'm not married to her. But looking good wasn't her problem.

So it was a crazy one, right? I had to do this girl. I think I'll just go in it real quick. It's not that she's crazy. It's I think I liked her more than she liked me. I felt like I looked at her like she hung the moon. And she's, you know, I always felt like she could take her leave. me like I was always on thin ice and that was why like that was the worst part about that relationship

but like I remember my best friend had this like his boss but they he was almost like a mentor my best friend idolized his boss he thought he was the coolest guy and this guy didn't think I was anything he told my best friend he needed to get better friends and then we stopped by to like take pictures and stuff before the prom and he's like holy fucking shit would that's your girlfriend? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, are you boning her? And I'm like constantly.

And I was like a new guy. That was the best part. The fact that like impressing other people was one of the neat things about going out with her, not going out with her. Well, I was kind of a nerd in high school. All right. I was the Dungeons and Dragons kid and a good break dancer and stuff. I was about to say, were you breaking yet? I was crazy.

100% bro. And I was pretty good. I was one of the, I could do an amazing worm. I could do a 1990 up into a windmill. I was good. Come on, don't even hate. 1990 and a windmill dope.

Yeah. Parasheed pants on. Parasheed pants. I had the big jackets. And we went around, walk around the neighborhood. Kangol hats like kangaroo hats. Kangal hats. There's a kangaroo.

it though. There was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a visual learner. Bro, trust me. And that was, you know, I was, I was, I was pretty good dad, but I was not the coolest kid, right? And there was this chick who's like out of my league, mega hot. Did she look like Linda Carter, so, or the original Wonder Woman back then? Like that was, and that's in high school. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I would not even close to arrange, but, you know, graduated. I moved to New York. I went to university, got a little cooler, you know, got more game, became successful, worked on Wall Street for a bit. I went back to Toronto. And so I had some money, got my first BMW, yadda, yada, yada. So I saw her at the, you know, I went back to my small town called Brampton, saw her at the mall and she said, oh my gosh, Chandrae, is that you,

do you still do the Donald Duck Voice he used to do and stuff? And yeah, that's a long different story. But anyways, we'll call her Linda just for the namesake of story. And I played it cool, you know. I was wearing a little boss suit and stuff. I was doing the Wall Street, you know, like the movie Gordon Gecko thing, you know. And I was playing it cool. You know, yeah, you know, let's go to dinner and let's talk.

She was all exciting stuff. And she still looked pretty good. I'm pretty sure she had a couple of kids. She went from like a 10 to like a good seven and a half, but it's one of those missions where you never stop thinking about what if. You know what I mean? Like you just got it. Like it's like the rock, the movie.

Go back and screw the prom cream, right? But so yeah. So we're, I get that reference. Thank you. Thank you. You're a bad. You're a bad.

I was feeling myself. I took her out this really nice Michelin Star restaurant. I think it was like Danicos or something like that. And apparently this gets this, you know, unbeknownst to me. Was it Dorcia?

But, you know, apparently she's gotten kind of ghetto and I didn't know until later, right? So we're in, we're, you know, in the restaurant and stuff. and she's ordering drinks and knocking them back and stuff. And I go, oh, okay, getting a little wild and stuff.

And she's, you know, we're talking and I'm talking about my experiences and stuff. And she's not saying much. And so she's reaching under the table and grabbing my leg and stuff like that. And I go, okay, this is getting a little too much. You know what I mean? Like, this is a nice restaurant. My friend actually was one of the owners, one of the guys who run the restaurant. And I didn't want to look too bad.

And it's like, okay. And she's getting a little tipsy. So, you know, kind of, I want to kind of finish dinner and leave. You know, like, I'm not, I'm not turned off at this point. Kind of turning on. The booze wears off. Yeah, yeah. So while in being, she goes, all right, I'm going to go and use the bathroom.

So she comes over me and she gives me a kiss before she goes to the bathroom, full on French, tongue and everything, porn kiss, like just before she walks away on the table. And I'm like, okay, damn, I guess I'm getting some tonight. Okay, I'm good. So, you know, I'm there. You're getting some in the bathroom, but carry on. It's worse than that. So I'm ordering the, I'm asking for the bill and Garsohn's.

And, well, I see a Italian restaurant. I shouldn't hear that. But, and then I hear a commotion happening, right? And I just say, you see her back going, and women are arguing with something like that. And the waiter comes over and goes, sir, can you come with us? I think we have a situation.

Apparently she started a fight with two other women in the bathroom because they were looking at me. And I'm like, I don't even know who these women are. I don't know where they were. I don't know where they're sitting. And she goes, you're looking at my fucking man. And pushing around and knocking over stuff. And they had a, like a lady that helps with the servic towels in the bathroom.

And she's pushing that lady and not going to explain. The kiss. She was marking her territory. Oh, it gets worse, right? But if she was trashed, these women could have been like doing nothing. She's like, you're looking at my minute. They were 100% innocent. They weren't doing anything, right?

So she was just starting stuff for no reason. And I was like, all right, you know, I think we should go. And she goes, you better take me out of here before I kicked these bitches ass. And I was like, okay, it's not the classy establishment that I wanted to make this happen at. But so, you know, I ask her, you know, valet ticket. yada yada yada yada i at one point i had to grab her around the waist and carry her out kicking in her heels and stuff right that's what you wanted a nice dude you could plug this bitch at arby's oh bro the GGI f date for sure like i like 400 this is a woman

would have been impressed by the antitizer no no no yeah anyone you want I'll I'm the three. It's so embarrassing. I like, I like, you know, I just got back to the city from the States and stuff. And I see my friend Zark and he's looking at me like,

I'm psycho. Why would you bring that here? You know what I mean? So I'm carrying out, get in the car and we're driving and hands all over me as I'm driving. And BMW sticks and she knocks it out of gear a couple of times. And she goes, I don't want to go home.

Yeah, let's go to a bar. Okay. And she's the, as it, the windows were down. She seemed like she was, you know, cooling off a bit, sobering up a bit. I go, okay, it's still like early.

It's still like nine something, right? I don't want to go home yet. And Lord knows, I'm not taking her my house. So we end up going to one of the local bars, not too far from her house type of thing. And I just thought, you know, I could hear some cool music inside. It wasn't like a rundown joint or anything like that. And I said, okay, it looks cool. I remember this place from a while back.

Maybe it's cool and everything. We go into the bar and, you know, everything's cool, checking the coat, yada, yada, yada. And we go in it, sorry, I'm just remembering the DJ's face. So we go into the bar and apparently she's a regular at this bar. And we're going. And Linda's like, oh, hold on. Hold my hand. Hold my hand.

Come with me. Was she a liked regular? Like, norm. She was not, apparently. A notorious regular. I just, I'm walking in and I just see one of the bouncers go like this. I'm like, what, what, what, what? And I'm like, and I'm like, okay.

And I'm, you know, everyone else in the bars, the jeans and the t-shirts and stuff, I'm in a suit and suit and tie and looking pretty and stuff. Standing out of tad. And, you know, the music kind of pumping and stuff and go, so she walks me over to this table and there's a couple of girls go. And she goes, hey, so. and so. Your man's a piece of shit. Look at what I have.

This is a real man. Not like you're so and so and so and then someone gets up from another table and starts walking over to her. And you go, so and so and so, I know this guy's from high school. He used to do kung fu. He'll kick your freaking ass. Kung Fu. Damn. And I was like,

he can do 1990s. I was like, I did the martial arts. I was a martial arts. But I'm, that's the last person. who wants to fight, right? And I'm like, all innocent. I'm dressed up nice. I don't want, I don't want nada.

I hardly know this girl. I just remember from grade 11 who didn't like me. Right. And then she starts yelling at this, yelling at that. Another girl walks over. Another person walks over. She picks up someone's drink and throws it at them. And then it's like, and then she goes and walks behind me.

And she goes like this. And I'm here standing like, I don't know who this is. It's a worst thing. And then people start pushing a couple of drunk guys start coming up to me and start shoving me around. And I'm like,

I'm just like the most innocent face. I'm like, I don't need this. You know what I mean? That's when you should be like, you know what, babe, I'm going to pull the car up

and then you never see your damn. That's what I should have done. That's what I should have done, but it didn't go that way, you know, because old Wolfie Boy was still kind of horrid. spending a lot of money that night, right? So, okay, so I managed, I said, okay, we're leaving.

I almost had to pick her up again, but I just, I just started walking out and she just walked out with me and, like, was holding onto my arm. I'm not trying to get rid of her, but at the same time, I'm, like, briskly walking. You're trying to get rid of her a little bit of us. And it's like, oh, my gosh, it was so bad. And she was like, okay, can you just take me home? Can we just go home and just relax and stuff? And I go, yeah, we might as well just let's do us go. Okay.

And I was like, I don't want to walk away with nothing that night. I got to do, I got to get something. Even something sucked. Like something's got to happen. I put too much into this night. My life was threatened. You know what I mean? Do you have settled for an OTPHJ in the car?

I would have. I would settle for anything. So now, mind you, in high school, her parents were pretty well off. You know, nice house, the head of everything going. So Canada doesn't really have shady parts of towns. Like we don't really have hoods. But if this was... So you're still not taking you to your house.

No, oh, hell no. Are you crazy? I thought you lowered your standards. Okay, carry on. No. You're like, oh, in my house, it's being fumigated. You're looking for an alleyway or a dirt road? What is your plan?

First of all, my house was... like in our way in a different town. Okay. And the bar was closer to her house. And I have a rule of not having people to my house that I don't know because you don't know. That's how you get, you know, the rabbit put in the boiling kettle. Okay. Do you guys, are you guys getting that reference?

Sure. Sure. Took me a second. That's, uh, is it Glenn Close? Yes. There you go. Yeah. Never seen that movie.

Really? Never seen it. Yeah, that's how you get the crazy chicks who stock you, right? You were firing back to her house. She offered, she offered. She insisted. And that's before, these are before Uber days and didn't want to. Fatal attraction.

That's what it is. Oh, I'm sorry, fatal attraction. What did I say? Basic instinct. I'm sorry. Same time frame. Anyway. So, yeah, we go to her house and it's the nest.

I'm not trying to be an elitist. I get it. Not everybody lives on the same level and whatnot and stuff. But this was like hood level shit. All right. Like it's like, you know, it's a nasty neighborhood. And it was just rough. And we, I was like, okay.

I was like, I didn't even want to park my car in the area. And I was like, all right. And you should look good in the hill stuff in the middle mini skirts. So, okay, you know, what the hell? Screw it. I'll take a chance. I'll double click the alarm. Walk up through your house and everything.

And I hear the biggest commotion in the house. So apparently it's like, you know, it's, it's a townhouse that have like four rooms and she's got like six roommates. I walk in there. And it's like beer bottles everywhere. It's got the ripped up couch. It's got everyone's hanging out and smoking and smoke the cigarettes and some weed. And a fight starts breaking out. And she goes, I've got effing company.

Shut the F up. And then so I'm going to go, oh, you're bringing home a number. one for fuck's sake you just had nothing like you bring him over here another guy goes what's this fucking black guy doing to my house I don't like this freaking guy I don't like these people around my neighborhood I don't know what

the hell's he named for and it's like I mean you know there's white whatever it's not a big thing you the can't the racism is not that crazy you must have been fucking torked because there are a lot of it's a question because

I've been in this exact same situation dozens of times. I get a hotel. I get a hotel. Why did you not get a hotel? There are $100,000. $500, bro. Like, come on.

It's not being rare in your land. There's no inn. The room at the end. Jesus Christ, you don't have holiday in? I'm not going to have someone trashed, a fucking hotel room without to have my credit card. You know what I mean?

If you can't trust her in a room without doing damage, this is not a, this is, We got to leave. I wasn't thinking. This was little wolf controlling the situation. I wasn't thinking. All right? I just was thinking quick, fast and hurry, you know.

Yeah. Dash and Dine. You know what I mean? Like, Dine and dash, sorry. But it's like, and then all this stuff breaking out. And the guys are yelling at me. Who is this guy to bring over here? Hey, bro, you got to be, hey, you got to have weed.

I see your car. You must have weed on you. It just went out. All of a sudden. I said, okay, hold on, hold on. I just got to clean up the room a bit. And then, you know, I'm just standing there, like a moron, having these guys talk to me.

And I'm not trying, again, I'm not trying to be elitist. I'm not trying to have better than anybody. And I'm like, she goes, okay, let me just straighten in my room. I don't just see it messy and stuff. And I go, and I just, I just, I just, I'm standing there. And I just see these two little kids coming out. And they're rubbing their eyes like this. They go, oh, oh, wow.

I was sleeping. And she's going, just fucking going in the other room. just going to go take a couch in the nap. Just go out of beer. And I was like, I was like, those are your kids? They go, hi, yeah, this is Maddie. And this is Samantha. And I'm like, oh, the length of, I sunk to, bro.

I can't do this. And I'm just like, oh, so good to see you. I'll give you a call tomorrow. Backing out now. This guy got to the process. He's about to throw the one ring in the fucking fire. now it's too hot to handle it's mine

closing the deal boys I'm sorry the kids just crossed the line at that point I'm not going to be the guy who's going to be you know the therapist is going to be talked about like 10 years down the line when the kids need help and stuff you know what I mean like well they wouldn't remember you it seems like there was a parasel of gentle yeah yeah yeah and I'm sure at

that point I was probably going to catch something anyway so I just cut my losses and I just wrap that thing up you're going to pull a condom all way over your balls you're so scared you're so scared I don't want to be a moral

So you made your escape You caught those guys In the middle of trying to steal your rims She I was just And great If that was the whole thing That she brings men home

While her boys go out And like strip the car Wouldn't that be genius? I mean Yeah That'd be some South Bronx And you'd also maybe be in a position Especially if you were married

where you couldn't report it if you, even if you suspected them, because you'd be all tied up in this affair and you're just like right, you'd call me insurance company. This didn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to keep that one right up here. Just be careful. Just be careful what you wish for, bro, because I still. It's like that one Reddit me for the guy. The guy's like, I hire streetwalkers to go and take them to swingers parties. I mean, to me, that's, that's king shit.

Like, that's, that's, that's, that's so smart being like, you know that prostitute and breaking bad with the fucked up teeth? You're just like, you're just like pop in, babe. I got, I just sucked off most of a tootsie pop or a ring pop. Throw this on there. Throw that in the bowl. That's hilarious. And then I can go fuck so.

Oh, God. Yeah. I'm not going that far. not closing the deal. I don't care who's sleepy. Yeah. You really want another round of antibiotics. I don't mind. It's a little pinch. You know, what are you going to do? Listen, back in nose, the big deal.

The big AID-S was around. I wouldn't take any chance. That's like a cold these days. You sweat that. It's a different world now. It's a different world. We've got a lot of our patrons, our $10 patron. who submitted questions for all of us, and of course, well, joining in as well.

I wrote a couple down. I've got the rest on my phone. They want to know our Mount Rushmore of actors. And this gentleman included in there that I just have to name four actors, which, by the way, I can name way more than four. At least. Twice.

I can name twice as many, is that? But for the rest of you, they wanted your Mount Rushmore. four. So I guess whoever feels the most confident in their answer immediately. I guarantee Kyle

has his four probably locked up. What he probably does. I need a few. I need a second. I like my first one. I nailed the first one. Yeah. It is a little. I think I've got a few. I think Nicholson's up there for me.

He's going to be there for sure. I'm going to put Christian Bail up there. He's just done so many different weird things. I want to put Philip Seymour Hoffman in there, but I'm not going to do that because that's Woody's. Fuck! This is the second time he's read of mine tonight. Yeah, it's easy.

What was the other thing? The movie that's on Netflix? He's like, what's that movie on Netflix? Prime. Yeah, that's the movie. But mine was Philip Seymour Hoffman. Okay. I'll put Daniel Day Lewis up there because why not

I'm gonna put Kevin Spacey up there because I like him and then I would close it out with Who's the guy? Nobody did you have already? You're taking all the good ones No no no we don't you don't have to have exclusive I have another one that's really good Doesn't need exclusivity Who's the guy who just won an Oscar and he accepted in Ukraine

Ukraine? You crane Randall Stevens Hang on, fuck you Is it Dale Piper? It's Sean Penn. I've put Sean Penn up there. I've been watching a bunch of Sean Penn lately.

Like, like, from like old, old cop movies he did to like his new stuff. And I, Sean Penn's up there for me. I only have three so far. One's Philip Seymour Hoffman. Man, it's easy to miss. how he stole every scene he was ever in how he went in movies that i consider silly like mission impossible and took them as seriously as any movie that could be made philip seymour hopman was a king my next one heath ledger dude that guy killed it in a range of roles

heath ledger was amazing have you seen a night's tale yes yes yes a movie uh was he the guy in the patriot the son yes yes he was he was he was he was he was He was. Oh, wow, that's right. Jesus. The other one, I don't think, I mean, he's well regarded, but Tom Hanks. Like, Tom Hanks did the body transformation type stuff and cast away. Philadelphia.

He played a huge range of roles for Philadelphia. But, like, dude, he killed it in bosom buddies, which is a silly little sitcom. Most of you were big. Yeah. Dude, he could play big. He could play that. Was he a captain in saving Private Ryan? He's a mobster in Road to Perdition.

Yeah. That's really good. I only have three. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Heath Ledger, and Tom Hanks are the ones I came up with. He's comedic and the burbs. It doesn't count as cheating. I watched it last week.

I'm on the record, given my limited movie knowledge, which is why this person just said I had to name for, that Christian Bale is my favorite of all time. He rocks. Philip Seymour Hoffman is my second favorite. Jonah Hill is my third favorite. On the record, loving him.

Hold on. Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill. He's awesome. He's amazing. Wolf of Wall Street when he's that Jewish guy with a big fake teeth. War Dogs when he's the obese. Moneyball. Jewish arms dealer.

He's so cheap. He doesn't tip. How about the fact that he's in Moneyball and those movies you reference? And he's in Superbad. That's quite the list of X ones. And then I also like Ed Norton a lot. he would he would be my my fourth which i think despite not watching many movies ever that's a decent list it's not bad okay one of my one of my indications of a great actor and i i i i you know done a

couple acting classes and a couple short movies and uh you know it is what it is but i one of my indications of a great actor is someone who can do shakespeare and also do regular roles right so I think one of my tops is Denzo Washington because he can do everything from Shakespeare to every thing where he's talking to having that argument with his son and the son goes why have you never loved me? Yes.

And then Danzo goes, love you. I put a roof over here. Like, if you ever, I can't remember the name of that movie. It's called I can't either. It's really good. Venses or something like that. He goes on a rant about everything he's ever paid for. and like done for his son. Exactly. Like it's a good rant. Tears rolling down his eyes.

Like hardcore acting, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's really good. If I had to switch out Norton, I guess Denzel would be the next. Another one is Kenneth Branagh. Kenneth Branagh, tons of Shakespeare rolls off like that.

He's done Inspector Puro in the, you know, River Nile movies. He's done like tons of stuff that I shoot like British actors I think have to be next level acting because they start out on the stage and then they go to movies, right? I think that I think Kenneth Brannell is one of those guys you don't hear about as much that has turned roles into empires that you don't know about. I think that what's his name? I can't remember his name now. What's he do?

Leonardo DiCaprio. Uh-huh. Oh, he's so underrated. I think Leonardo has done some... He's so highly rated. He won an Oscar. And before he won an Oscar, they acted like you should have won six Oscars. You guys didn't even think about him, no.

Oh, I thought about him and I rejected him. Okay. He's so fucking number rated. That fucking movie where he just crawled in the dirt for three hours and such bullshit. That was the huge shit ball of fucking. boringness ever. No, I'm sorry. Leonardo DiCaprio over, remember when he was on Quayludes and

Wolf of Wall Street? Jesus fucking Christ, can I go to the kitchen now? That's hilarious. That's so fucking long. Leonardo is the most overrated actor. Here's what I want. We haven't named a single girl yet. Who's the best girl?

I'm not done. I'm not done. You just did you stay? Can we stay? Wait a minute. Okay. Um, yeah, sorry, from Gilbert, was eating Gilbert grape? Great. All the way to when he did the remake of Roman and Juliet as a kid, frigging genius. I love, did you remember? Did you see that one when they remade Romeo and Juliet, but with like gun, new guns and stuff like that?

Yeah, I saw it. Yeah. Genius way to do. And the way he pulled off Romeo, fantastic. Anthony Hopkins. That's a good one. One of the greatest who's ever done it. How many people are you on?

He's on. You asked what I'd say it. You didn't ask when, fucking Kyle said it. He was like, how many are you? He thought I was on too many. Now I think you're on too many and you're on three.

Just because we know movies, bro. Look at me. I'm being their entire filmography with this. I'm giving you reasons why. It's not an argument. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. And best female actor, um, Okay, and I'm not going to remember Glenn Close. Okay. Glenn Close is the best feel actress who ever existed. Oh, you know what's funny is I thought that I thought Ed Norton was the guy from Moon. That's Sam Rockwell.

Jesus, that's Sam Rockwell, dude. Okay, well, then I like him. You're thinking of American History X. American History X. No, I didn't think that movie was very good. Fight Club, Ed Norton? Fight Club? Fight Club was all right.

Brad Pitt's a very good idea. All right. But now that he brought up Anthony Hopkins, it's like obviously Anthony Hopkins is better than those guys. I don't think he is. I think Anthony Hopkins plays the same guy in virtually every movie. Even Hannibal. He's got that movie where he's like a motorcycle rider.

He's going for like a high speed motor. They're doing like they're in the salt flats and they're riding motorcycles for like top speed. The bucket list. No, it's what he does. He's like an old motorcycle racer coming. Oh, the last Indian or something. Something like that. I think he's on an Indian motorcycle, maybe. Anywho, he's the same guy there as he is in Hannibal Lecter. He's the old gentleman who's well-educated, soft-spoken, and says, yeah, a lot. Like, he has the same manner-rism across every character virtually. Something like that. I don't think he's, I think he's a really likable guy the same way Brad Pitt is. Brad Pitt never played some nerdy geek who was tripping over himself. He's Joe cool in every fucking movie he's ever done. He's always, six-pack with a chin attached that that fucks, fights, shoots better than anybody around him.

He's never- I agree with Kyle. I highly value range in actors. And it was one of my knocks against Jonah Hill, who I like everything he's in. But I also feel like he's Jonah Hill and everything he's in. That's why I felt the same about Jonah Hill. Okay. But my take for actress was Sandra Bullock. Like she's been in speed.

She's been in that. Is it Wildside? Where does she raise the football football? player. Blindside, blind side, thank you. Maybe she's not great,

maybe she's, but you have to, I don't know Glenn Close's work well enough to stack rank him. Emma Stone is my favorite actress right now. Like she's been killing

since super bad and everything she does. She does all these serious, dramatic, weird roles and she, she's got tons of range. She can be likable and she can be bizarre

and threatening and off-putting and everything in between. She's not overly concerned with being pretty in her movies. She's, she's Emma Stone, and she's got tons of range, and I like her a lot.

Can I defend my Jonah Hill take? It sounds like I'd like you, too. Because my Jonah Hill Lake is absolutely under assault right now, being bound from Los Angeles. And I need to defend it because super bad is hysterical. 21 Jump Street, where he's mirroring Channing Tatum, hysterical,

excellent movies. I'm impressed by the range already. Wolf of Wall Street. So funny in that. He does a great job. Well, he's not funny in that other than occasionally, you know, but he also plays never got. War dogs. He's a lot more serious.

He's a lot more serious and brutal in war dogs. And obese. 22 Jump Street. I'm just looking at the list. That's not a great one. So throw that away. Moneyball. Moneyball, one of my favorite movies of all time.

And I don't give a fuck about baseball. This is the end where he plays a subversive little snake who's not funny at all and just bothers people. I think Jonah Hill is going to. he played his real life character. Well, I don't know anything about the guy. No, I'm kidding. Okay. I like a lot of things

Jonah Hill is in. I just feel like he's Jonah Hill doing it. He doesn't stand out to me. Listen, I like him. If you're going to nominate Jonah Hill, I'm going to nominate Tom Cruise. I haven't seen enough. Tom Cruise has never.

Show me his range. Jerry McGuire with that little bit, when he's telling Renee Zelliger how he loves her and why he loves her. Magnolias. Magnolias. I don't know what that is. No one knows what that was.

It was when his father, he was at the bedside of his dying parent and he was freaking. He played this guy. He was like an Anthony Robbins speaker who said tell people to grab him by, you know, just take grab him by the pussy type of thing and be the man. And he was like an ultimate man influencer. And then, you know, he had to go and face his demons. went at his father's bedside and he was crying and it was insane artsy movie vanilla sky um eyes wide shut yep he's eyes wide shut was really good tom cruz is like like the the the fault of tom cruise is that he has always been so well connected and so good at picking blockbuster scripts yes

that they're like it seems like he always wants a sci-fi element if possible um he wants uh lots of cg i and he wants a heroic type character. He probably has heard of the movie Oblivion. Of course I have. A multi-hundred million, you have. A multi-hundred million dollar movie where Tom Cruise is like the last man on earth. Like the humans have all left and him and this woman are staying behind. Are we an effective team?

Yeah. Is it good? It's okay. Minority report, like minority report, I thought was amazing. That's when they've got the precog cognitive police force where they have these psychics who pre-visualized murders, they record what's coming out of the precog's minds, and they have evidence of the murder and where it's going to happen.

And then Tom Cruise's team are the cops who enforce. So they come dropping out of the sky out of like helicopters, fast roping in to stop some husband from killing his wife. And like they're having to take the video that the pre came out of the precog's mind and like break it down like like, what's his name, Bolt Rain or whatever, Rainbolt or whatever. Like, all right, I see a tree outside. they're like pinching and like and it's it was in the earlier 2000s.

There's not a screen. It's all in the air. That's, um, my, the director of that. There's a scene in that movie where he has to go, he has to lay in a bathtub and hide from some robots.

And he taught himself how to breathe out of one nostril so that a bubble only came out of one nostril for that shot. Like he's so hardcore with it. It's not, it's not even just that he does his own, own stunts, which is kind of camping, but it looks good on camera.

But he's almost never, the only movie that I haven't liked by him is like the second Immation of Possible movie. Let me hit it back. I like Tom Cruise and I like most of Tom Cruise's movies. And while my perception of it might be a little inaccurate, it's a little like the Brad Pitt criticism. That is, when I see Tom Cruise, he's usually playing Tom Cruise in every movie. I acknowledge that we have some exceptions there. But the Tom Cruise movies that I know him for, whether it be Days of Thunder, impossible, whatever hero he's playing.

It's him doing cool shit. It's him being Maverick. And I'm like, he may have more range in that, but he didn't use it very much in his career. He didn't have to. That's my whole point. He was always so well connected. All of the biggest directors always wanted him in their movies and their big blockbuster movies aren't are going to have a hero, saving the day and doing the big thing.

They're not going to require him to. But that's on argument. For his acting, right? The thing is, like, George Clooney didn't have to, but he chose to. do something that would show him in another light so that he wasn't typecasts is the same thing all the time. There are a lot of guys who don't have to. Okay. That's a great example.

When he stopped saying no to Ron Thomas and he didn't work for like three. Yeah, he went. He almost went broke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm stone solid on Christian Bayle, Hoffman and Hill. And for the woman we were asking, you guys can tell me because I haven't seen a tenth as

many movies. But is Kathy Bates a really good actress or am I, do I just love her from misery and Waterboy? I think he's very good. Misery and Waterboy, I think, are so different and they're so good. I like actors with Southern accents like anyway. I'm like,

oh, good representation. We needed that. But like, I appreciate people like her and so I've always liked her and everything. She did a season of American horror story. I saw her do that one movie for she takes her tits out with Paul Giamati. That was decent.

That's many years ago. Yeah, that's like early 2000. Jesus. All our top female actresses. Like, I like Sidney, I like Sidney. Unironically, I would have been. You know who's talented?

Christy Brinkley and vacation movies? You know who's talented? Didario from that scene of a movie I haven't seen? She's from the first season of True Detective. The problem is. Female actresses. is it feels like most of them their career kind of stops around 40.

What about Jamie Lee Curtis? She's killing it right now. Is she killing it right now? Have you seen the bear? The TV show, the bear? Yeah. No. Is that the show where it's some guy being like,

oh, God, people are ordering food to my restaurant now. Yeah. Have you watched the show? No. Watch the show. It is amazing. Especially the first season. What are the stakes, though?

That he can't make the food fast enough? Basically, they invest. He inherits his, John Bernthal is his brother. John Bernthal commits suicide and leaves him this like beef steak sandwich restaurant. And he's like a classically trained super hot, Michelin level chef. And he goes back to run the sandwich shop to like keep the dream and the business alive. And he makes the sandwiches so good that it explodes. No.

It's not even not. No. No. You get to see his trauma. The girl is really good, too. Yeah. Like, she, that, I don't know her, that actress is his name. The black girl is tremendous.

I really like her character. They make a good team. Like, like, she has a very natural way of acting, the way her eyes and, and, like, facial expressions work when he's, because he's always saying insane things. Yeah. And she's, Rick. Okay. Well, so you're suggesting that we take all the money we have. Then we borrow some more from the mob.

and we run a business that fails 85% of the time. Am I on page? Yeah. This, right? He's like, yeah, pretty much, pretty much. The conversations on that show, like, you have, like, two fat brothers who are, like, like, all these guys are, like,

cousins. They're almost like family, family. But you have, like, this bigger guy who's, like, they're hilarious with the mustache with the tattoos and he's got a brother. You know that guy's an actual chef in real life? Oh, yeah. I've been watching him for years. Maddie Maddie, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, you need to, what?

Have you seen that show, The Bear? I've never heard of it. Okay. Watch it with my show multiple times. Okay. It's very good. It's really good, bro. Is it a network TV show?

It's Prime? Prime, maybe. If you, it doesn't apply to me, but if you're Italian or if you're from the Northeast, like the big, loud family dynamic is prevalent throughout. And they have lots. Lots of scenes where the stress is building because of the cacophony of arguments and like stress and you feel it. It's a very stress. It's not a movie though.

It's just Thanksgiving on my dad's a TV show. It's making a joke. But it's a must watch show. Trust me. You'll see. How many seasons are we? Are there like three seasons out there? I think it's either third or fourth.

And it's not finished. I know. It ends on the fifth season. Okay. Okay. It is a dark comedy. I would describe it as there are comedic elements to it, especially in the first season,

less so maybe later on. But it's lots of stress, lots of emotion. And it focuses lots of food porn, lots of like you watching the most amazing food being created. Yeah. I like it a lot. And no,

you don't have to be a, you don't have to be one of those, hold on, you don't have to be one of those foodie guys to appreciate it. like it would turn you into someone who can appreciate food, which is weird because I stopped being like a food you got years. Oh, it would turn me into that. Yeah. You got to watch it, though.

Put it on your list seriously. It's real good. A lot of sandwich making. Like, no, no, no. Like, two sandwiches today. I wasn't in there making a ruckus. I wasn't in there making a ruckus. as the old guy in the room who saw jamily chris when she was at 10 on literally the movie 10 i think

was trading places trading places and uh you know Halloween and just prom one with arnold's worth true lies are you older than me i'm not sure yeah yeah okay yeah but yeah it's um she's She's embracing her age right now. She's not getting any of the plastic surgery or anything. And right now she's on her Instagram showing boobies and stuff. Like it's a lot of cleavage. A lot of cleavage right now. And she's rocking it.

She's rocking it, bro. It's a little much. Now we talk in response to this, we, I know you guys are all movie masters, but I want to get to a couple more of these. If we were all gay, if we were all homosexuals, who would. you know what I appreciate that man if we were all gay who would pull the most dick

oh are you both things he'd pull the most are we bottoms in this scenario that is the end of the question are we bottoms in this scenario I think we you might be able to go either way because there's no more there's no more elucidation

of the question now why do you have to bring up the bottom of top thing jesus murphy well he said who's gonna get like pull more dick but you can still pull dick top or bottom doesn't make a difference i don't know oh does poll dick just mean you getting fucked it just that's what it sounds no i don't think so i think it's like you're making is is is is the dick like like we didn't say he could pull more ass i didn't say you didn't say you would pull more ass i i get it but it my interpretation was who can get the most gay sex of any kind. That would be

I think of any kind. Because it matters because it matters because I think that Wolf will get the most bottoms. But I think that I will get the most tops. Wow. How do we feel about this? Here's how I feel about it.

It is easy to get guys to fuck things. So it's just a matter of who's the sluttiest. And this is not a title I let go of easily. We're taking all comers. That's not even anything. I'm taking all comers. several times a day. Yeah, that's not even consideration.

I'm also taking all comers several times a day. So I nix your, you're like strategy out. Now we're back to like, I don't know. Now Kyle's live in Dallas Byers Club. Please.

I know that Taylor has a, has a thicket, a bramble down there. I just don't think that's going to be the most advantageous for our purposes. And I just don't know. Southern European people have hairy butts.

That's okay. Yeah. And some people do something. But you're framing this in such a way as you can be victorious. I just, that's the way I see it. I've got cut. See, I can't, I can't pull. I think Kyle could pull both bottoms and tops, right? So I don't think, I'm like a bear type of scenario. I got the hairy chest and everything and kind of big and stuff. I don't think, I don't think, I'd be much of a bottom choice per se. Oh, we can get you ready. We make you like a seal. Listen, I have done a chest wax and it's the most painful thing you could ever do.

I can't imagine doing that. No, we get near. You want to use nair and be careful with it and just melt that hair off. Dude, as I get older, my chest hair, have you, have you seen the beginning of Lord of the Rings where it shows Mordor beginning to conquer other areas? Yes. Are you saying your patchy? Oh, no. You got patches or?

No, no, I've got a lot of. Finglorn Forest is headed south. And north. They'll meet somewhere around the middre. But I have the most normal level hairy arms imaginable. I do not have Robin Williams arms. I don't have hairy arms. I'm okay, I have hairy arms than Kyle. But like that's, I have almost nobody. Not by a lot. Yeah, yeah. Smooth. I got I got I've like, there's another reason why they call me wolf because I'm covered like Jesus, bro. It's crazy. I don't I think Kyle might win this one. I think Kyle actually might because if we're making this just who can have the most gay sex. Look at the. that that's hilarious. I remember eighth grade. Actually, you know what's funny? You know what's funny? I made an eighth grade joke. I had so

much more chest hair in eighth grade. It doesn't even connect all the way down. My belly's all bald. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Like above my belly button and below my like chest. The chest hair used to come down into more of a line, but it's become just like

da-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I I like that. I don't think I'd change pulling the mine cars and stop this. My lord, there is no such army.

No, I don't think I'd do well. I could put an Afro pick in my back hair and it would stay. Oh, God damn. Do something about that. I shave it. I shave it now.

No. It's a big. You have a razor with like a big handle on it? I'm going to use it as a handle. I'm flexible. I'm flexible. Two handfuls of lat. Yeah, but that equals that.

What he's doing the fucking and Wolf is taking? You guys both get one. So we're together. We can be Kyle. I don't know, man. Could you be a good wingman for me? Because Tyler's got that little like cute. The best imagined look.

I think he'd be a great bottom. I think Tyler could like a lot of. I don't like him. You know what I mean? He's got the baby face, even though he has the beard. He's not that neary. But you got the baby face with the beard. You would make a lot of bottom, like, you'd be the...

You guys are talking like it's hard to get guys to fuck things. You're talking about numbers. You're like, we're all fishing in barrels. It's just who can fish the best in the barrel. No, no, no, no. When we're all fishing in barrels, it's about who has the appetite. It's Kyle. I was going to win the

gay sex knife. Kyle will have like two phones on Grindr just going at it. Just ding ding, ding, me, Tom Cruise and minority report. I'm fucking. The VR set up. All right.

This guy's an AIDS super spreader. I'm bugging. I'm out there bug hunting. I don't care. What's the prize for this, by the way? He didn't say. God damn.

Your prize is a lifetime of expensive antiviral's. They're incredibly affordable. I saw some lady in Uganda and she was like, the United States cut off all of our aid. Now I cannot survive without my AIDS medicine. And I was like, oh my God, how expensive was it? 25 American dollars every month. Every month.

He doesn't sound that bad. When you look up how much. much it is locally. It's crazy how much it goes up. If I were, if I were live, if I want like a big guy and like a larger person, I think I might be able to compete with Kyle other than the hair thing because the hair thing can be corrected. But I don't think these gay guys want to look down at like wide shoulders. Yeah, but Kyle's in shape too though, right? Pretty good. Yeah. Kyle's in shape too. Like that goes a long way. I'm in shape as far as this. We all jumped for

We all committed ourselves so fully and we never asked what the prize was. There was never a prize. All right. Give me another one. I mean, apparently you're the prize. All right. You have to pick two out of the four major American sports, hockey, baseball, football, basketball, and you have to replace two of them with sports of your choice. What's out and what's in?

I'm getting rid of basketball and I'm getting rid of baseball and I'm making paintball like a like a global sensation because I have a magic wand apparently. That's cheating, bro. You took my fucking. And I'm also, yeah, yeah, I did it on purpose. And I'm also taking, I'm making cornhole like the way to get pussy. Like the guys who are best at like drinking a Miller light and being like a cornhole champion are they're like the F1 drivers. They're the max for Staffans, these 100 millionaires with model wives in Morocco on vacation because they can throw a fucking hacky sack or whatever into a hole.

Hold on. Well, the fore again, hockey, baseball, football. Hockey, baseball, football, basketball. You have to get rid of two and replace them with any sport of your choice. And again, there is no prize. You don't win anything. Woody, what are you going on to play? What would say that again?

What are you going for, Woody? All right. So out is baseball. Obviously, it's incredibly boring and the games take 19 hours. Who cares? Also out is football. Now, while I'll admit it's a pretty good watching experience, if you really break it down, they play like six minutes.

It's boring. Like, it's mostly interruptions and ads and stuff. And also, I don't like sports with big helmets. I don't connect with the players. That's right. I don't. If you wear a helmet, I swear, you're not even famous.

You know, like these, I bet a leading running back can walk through the streets of Philadelphia and it'd take a while before he gets recognized. Try that with LeBron James. That guy will get swarmed immediately. Yeah, but try it with like the fifth player on the Lakers, whose name I don't know, and compare

him to a running back from the Giants. I don't know what either of those guys look like or their names. I have no idea. I know, like, the face of maybe five football players. they're all quarterbacks or like fucking Taylor Swift's husband you know but I'm sure he's go I I little to that won't take long I feel like modern sports are enjoyable not just for what happens on the field but all the drama around it the players like being hot being cold

being angry be like they're on Instagram now I like watching Jimmy Butler fall out of a canoe that's fucking hilarious. I have a good time enjoying the players aside from their sport and in their sports. But football doesn't give me that. So they're out in MMA because I like it a lot. And the other is rock climbing. Everyone talks about how hot the girls in beach volleyball are. And they're not wrong.

They're just second place. The female rock climbers are the hottest women on the planet. We need to see them climbing, bouldering inside. I haven't even. Hot tag. I didn't know rock climbing was even a big enough thing. Zach, show us some hot female rock climbers. I want to see their callous and their powerful forearms.

Because that's what gets me going. Okay, that is funny. ...activity that's mostly done in a fucking natural, out in a natural forest somewhere far from running water or razors. This is a real hippie-divis. This is indoor rock climbing I was thinking of. That's what this sport is. Okay, okay.

Just find or like traditional? do you think it sank oh look at her gross i don't even believe that this is a real photograph like why is her ass out zach no ai yeah that's not a that's not a that's not a hardcore climber that's not the hardcore climbers are a lot rougher looking at that bro i can see the ground i mean you know what i mean like i don't need them to go high i just need them to look like that this is more impressive look at those feminine hands don't know what you call you know look at the vein imagine that thing around your shaft it would be like a cheese grater.

I'm telling you, these girls are a dime a dozen. The whole sport is filled with girls like this. It is amongst the prettiest girls in... I thought you were being a silly billy, but I don't know anymore. He's tipping the scales here. He asked for hot rock climbers.

Like, maybe she asked for lady rock climbers. Zach, let's just do this. Look for like this year's champion, right? Because that'll be a little more random and a genuine rock climber. lady named like old indoor rock climbing that's what we said specifically yeah I find an indoor

rock climbing champion and I bet you'll be like oh no no no no no no no you know who beats oh the hottest female athletes uh are the track runners track that that's that's the hottest that bitch has arian face this is the champion like this year's champion this is good looking girl okay but I mean she might work at Starbucks for all I know. Oh, well, we asked him to find this year's champion. Look at that flat ass. We don't care how successful

at the sport they are. Look at this flat ass, any girl. Like, select the prettiest girl. That's why I asked for the best one. Does she have a tattoo of the Olympics on her? So he didn't cherry pick. That's pretty audacious. That's pretty cocky.

Okay, Zach, don't cherry pick at all. Show me any woman at all from the Brazilian beach volleyball team. Any of them. Ooh, at random. That's hot. She's supposed to go from there. She's, okay, I guess she's at the top. She's at the winner.

It does say top on it. It does say that. That's what I'm hoping. You probably have to. This one says bottom on it. Look at this shit. Any of them, any of them. They're all better looking.

And they're greased up and they're wearing less. They're not actually better looking, especially the two Americans in the background. They're all fuzzy. Who's to say? Who's to say? They're all blurred out. Yeah. I mean, no.

I would argue that maybe every single female rock climber we saw is, I don't know. I'm one word they're not. And to reaffirm, the question was about real sports, men's sports. Okay. Oh. First of all, okay, just to just to. Wait, did it say that? Well, no, but he was talking about like the four major sports.

Okay. Like, and so like pretend sports don't count. Before I say my four major ones, before I say my four major ones, are the best hot-looking chicks if you're looking up are female track and field runners. Do you ever see the one with the female the hot chick goes, no.

The last thing's doing that bounce before she runs. I've seen that. I've seen that. But you need to clarify because that is, that's sprinters. You look at the long distance runners. It looks like fucking Smigel slapping his feet out there. And he literally said track and field.

So that brings the hammer throwers, the shot putters. No, no. Okay. I'm talking sprinters. Those are some monsters. Let's go. Just track. Just track. The only part. Okay. Yeah. Look, I'm sorry. I don't want to take your time, but no, it's okay. The hottest runners, I'm with you. The hottest runners are super duper hot. But I would say the average and the, like, it's hard to find an ugly rock climber or beach volleyball, really. They just don't get too low. But I would bet in the track world, there's a lot of ones are just, oh, are you crazy. Are you crazy?

All of those girls. That's why there's so much screwing going on during the Olympics and they were passing out frigging condoms like they were going out of style. Everybody was smashing it. Well, that's every Olympics, right? It's a bunch of like 20-year-olds in the big physical condition of their lives on a foreign vacation away from the countries.

Just Google hottest. And remember, female track runners. You don't get to change all four sports. You have to pick two. Okay. Here's my two. I'm keeping hockey.

you know, Canadian and basketball. I will add football, footie, soccer, because... It's already the number one sport. Greatest sport in the world, biggest sport in the world, and most paying... I said the world, not the U.S.

Sure. And the most, the biggest paid sport in the world. No one gets paid more in soccer. And other than that, I would choose F-1. I see Lewis Hamilton does I see the cars they race I see the people around

that's like the most expensive atmosphere to be in period so F1 being F1 driver is a next level amazing opportunity So I have a question for you a lot How long has How long have you been an F1 fan?

I'm an F1 fan too but not super long Not long I'm new Yeah I'm like a driver to survive fan. And I've only been through two like really new cars, right? There was the last generation and the one that started this year. The last time they brought out the new car, you might remember there were all the porpoising issues. And they acted like it was the sport was going to be ruined. And it wasn't. Now, again, if people don't know this year's car, half of the power comes from a battery. And that battery drains in like, I'm going to make up numbers, but five seconds,

something like that. So it's really, really about who has battery right now when you pass and the drivers think the sport is ruined again. And I'm like, is it ruined this time? Are they going to fix it? I don't know. But everyone seems to think F1 is awful. Better yet, every F1 driver seems to think the sport is terrible. Yeah, it's getting worse.

But the thing is, it's technology, right? Like, these guys have like literally rocket scientists in there trying to make their cars better. You know what I mean? And it's like it seems like it's 30% person, 70% car. You know what I mean? And it's like a lot of people see it that way. And that's what it's kind of becoming is becoming the technology. And it's like how far do you go until you, you know, you got to limit what they do with these vehicles to make it enjoyable for the viewers.

Yeah. It's like and it's like when you see when, when Hamilton left Mercedes and went to Ferrari and, you know, he was complaining that the Ferrari team. was screwing him up and he proved it right and everything. It was like it just entered a whole new, a whole new spectrum as to how much technology is screwing up the sport, right? Do F-1 fans follow racers or teams more? So are they like, I'm a Ferrari fan? Or are they like I'm a Lewis-Han-M-Thain thing?

Because you'll see people buy the merch of the team, but not the racer. I would have- I'm sorry, I thought you're finished. No, go ahead. I would have said people are mostly driver fans or Ferrari fans. I'm not sure that like Red Bull has a lot of like huge fans. It's sugar water, right? I'm not sure Mercedes even has like a ton of hardcore fans, but Lewis Hamilton does.

People like Ferrari. Even an anomaly though. Drivers. Hamilton? Yeah, because there hasn't been someone as big as Hamilton's to like Schumacher. Who's that new guy, Verstappen? I know what he's mentioned. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Is he like the next one that he's one of the few drivers that makes a difference. You know, Wolf was saying that it's 70% car, 30% driver. Two years ago, Max Verstappen won the championship. He's not the current champion, but before that. And he said something I thought was arrogant. And then as I processed it, I agreed. He's like, I could have won in a Red Bull, a Mercedes, a Ferrari, or a McLaren.

And I was like, you, who do you think? Actually, yeah. Yeah, you're the one driver who was done. different enough from the others to have one in four different cars. He won in maybe the second best car. I want to give my two I'd replace because I also have a racing one. I would replace basketball with rugby because rugby is tight and that's a fun sport to watch. And then I would replace baseball with a touring car racing where they have to,

where they... The rally car? Yeah, like the Subaru going through the... Almost like a rally car, but they all have to use, like, cars you could take on the road and then soup them up crazy. And then they race in much curvier tracks and whatnot. And so there's a lot of, like, ramming the back of other people's cars, pushing them to the edge, forcing accidents, encouraging flips. And it's very violent. And that sounds crazy.

That entices me more than F1. And I watched some of the F-1 guys do touring car racing where they would have like Schumacher hop in to this like BMW sedan that they had souped up. And then he would go out there and he would obviously like all the F-1 guys do tremendous in it. But they get hit in ways they're not used to. No one in a million dollar Red Bull car is going to go and like smash into the back of a different F-1 car. And these guys do that. Because at the end of the day, it's just a souped-up sedan. And they're all limited to this way.

I think it's called touring car racing. Okay, which is the one where they're driving on like the dirt roads and the, the through towns and go hard left one left. Rally car. That's rally. Okay, okay. Go. Yeah. Then either one of those would blow my mind.

Yeah. The touring is on the track, but with the cars he's talking about. Okay. Yeah. One thing I added a rule that no one else seemed to. but when I brought in my new sports, MMA and rock climbing, I was actually bringing in men's and women's.

And I think both of the, those are two ones that bang on all cylinders for both men's and women's. The rock climbing? The rock climbing you like? Is it the speed thing where two guys are racing? Or maybe we're just going for time to the top of the wall? There's two varieties. One is the speed.

That's my second favorite. The other is where it's difficult to make it to the end. It's usually bouldering of some sort. And they have to look at it figure out what they call the beta, which is like the optimal path and make it cleanly. And a lot of people don't get to the top. Is this something that is judged by judges or scored by? Yeah, it's judged by judges.

So experts make up the course and then they have like an idea of how a climber might complete the course. But sometimes the climber comes up with an even better idea. I think that in every sport that it exists in. Don't that's, but I want to get this point out. I thought rugby was a really neat choice because women. men's rugby is dope too. It's neat to see the different body types

for the different positions and like how they match up. And I also get a kick out of seeing women is sexist, but I'll say it with the spirit of a man. Like, you know, it's clobbering time. And this woman was not

but she was just bored to fucking hit shit. A word for that. I don't know what the word is. A woman with the spirit of a man. Like. Yeah, yeah. So some of these. women in rugby like they've got venom in their hearts in their veins and I'm here for it I like the

big hits it's dope that's a brutal sport all the football is like I've seen clips that are really interesting I see those like Samoan girls that have like just crazy powerful thighs and glutes and calves and it just seems like through sheer like lower body strength they drive themselves through it's like why do the other team bring all these skinny bitches you see the speedster women and the Samoan women and every so often the Samoan gets a line on the speedster and you're like oh my god here comes the boom like they just blow them up

and I've also seen like in a men's rugby they like somehow get under the haunches outside the clothes and lift them up when they're trying to like do that maneuver the women's rugby will just grab those pants and just just wedgey them to victory. All the way up. Like as high as they can.

Yeah. Which to me seems almost aggressive. They got a built-in-handle. You just puppeteer that bitch. I got it. I know so they can call me Jeff Don. Well, we're on Spotify now.

Everyone's all that. I'm gonna Jim Hansen this bitch I don't like judging in any sport like you're you're inevitably because when my fighting is the number one that that like has affected me the most because like when my guy wins

but I know he didn't win like I feel dirty and I'm like I hope he feels dirty too I hope that like he knows that he got away with one just now I hope he doesn't like talk shit after this like Patty Pimblet lost one one that was clearly a loss. I think Marab de Valishvili,

like, no, it wasn't him. It was Peelder Yon. Peelder Yon had a, yeah, I know, right? Peir Yon had a loss that was like a ridiculous loss. I think maybe Tashon O'Malley. I thought O'Malley lost. And then when it goes the other way, when your guy fights the fight,

and you're like, man, they're both beaten bloody, but my guy definitely won the first round, the third round, and the fifth round. And that's the one that fucking matters, because if we're on the street, the fifth round is the final round. If that judge does, if nobody steps in, he kills you, motherfucker, he was on you. And then give it to the other guy. And your guy's beaten, bloody, and now he's just like, fuck, the fuck.

And you know, like this, the last six months have been about this, getting the deal, arguing over the numbers, signing the deal, the fight camp, the weight cut, the training, all the families there watching. His children just got, picking his teeth up out of the corner. and some dumbass, slimy boxing judge just gave the other guy the victory because it doesn't understand jiu-jitsu. It's demoralizing. I hate it so much.

And the Olympics are full of it. The entire, like 90% of the Olympics are full of like some Frenchman thought that that girl did, did whatever better than the other girl. And it's like, who fucking cares? So I need to defend rock climbing. When you asked if it was judged, it's more like it's referee, like baseball. You know, for example, the judge might determine you have to like hold and be on the final thing. You can't just touch it for a millisecond while you're falling.

So the judge will say, yeah, he was on there. Like he could have held that for 20 more seconds if he wanted to. Or no, he just put two hands on the finish line while he was falling. That's not making it. That's the kind of judging it is not. And more like baseball, is it striker ball? Is the body type of a good client? climber like incredibly lean light with long limbs, I would guess?

Mostly. But there are different courses, like some that reward like an explosive climber and some reward a climber who doesn't need to explode. But I would say being tall helps. I'm not really an expert. I just watch it a little. But there are little people who make it happen and that's neat. I like to see him over comment.

You have another question. I didn't know there was too much diversity. Yes, I do. You guys are more UFC-oriented than I am. What are your feelings about, A, the supposed fights that will happen at the White House, and B, play card that is being offered at that venue? Do you want to go first now? The fights, the card.

Oh, okay. It's underwhelming. It's not what was promised. Dana White's being very obtuse about what may or may not have fallen through they changed the date from July 4th our nation's birthday to June 14th or something

Trump's right. I didn't know that. Because it's Trump's first birthday. So they're going to, so they're giving it all the pomp of 4th July but just attaching it to Donald Trump. They're making it about him. I think it's interesting that it's there. I like the spectacle of it. I like exposing the greater world to our sport. I really like that the fighters are going to start in the Oval Office, I believe. The camera will be on the fighter in the Oval,

and they'll jog through, I guess, the West Wing or whatever, out through the doors and into whatever they build. I bet it will be underwhelming whatever they build. I look forward to seeing not just the fights, though, because this is going to be such a spectacle. I think it's going to be a Super Bowl-esque sort of environment. I expect a lot of celebrities there. and a lot of like pomp and circumstance to be tacked on.

I bet there's going to be jets flying over. There'll be a Marine Corps band or some shit. Like I'm here for it, but I really wish that they had done what they promised, which was six to seven title fights and bring at least one of the big hitters back to the sport. Whether you get a Brock Lesner, whether you get a Connor McGregor, whether you get a John Jones, whether you get a Francis and Ghanu, or even a Ronda Rousey. like somebody who's like one of those big household names yeah um i wish it was a freak fight on there just just some celebrity or some like sports icon like something like that as like a prelim

fight or something that just just attack on so i don't like it i would like what i've seen so far what i'm expecting and i'm pretty lukewarm on the whole thing and integrity wise with regards to having it at the white house you don't feel any type of way about that Can I like do this part of it? Sure. Like I'm not a Trump guy. But like if I just put that aside and call it the White House and stuff, I think it's neat. I think it's really neat.

I there's so many hockey games that you know some middle of the season game doesn't matter very much. But the winter classic is cool. When they hold it in an outdoor vent and it's freezing or maybe even snowing and you see the players with like, I don't know, keeping warm problems that they don't always. I think that's really, really neat. And it's, you know, a change of pace from what you always see.

That to me is what the White House event is. It's MMA's winter classic. It's something a little different. There's some pomp and circumstance. I'm here for it. I'm not a lover of our current president. But put that aside and it's like, oh my God, they're going to be in the Oval Office.

They're going to be outside. Like I think this is really neat. But like Kyle said, they did Trumpian promises on how awesome the card would be. And then they told us what the card would be, and they did Trumpian delivery. Can I go over the card real quick?

Like, like it's not a bad card. Like any other night, if they hadn't built this up, it'd be a big deal. Because lately they, because paper views gone, and it's the Paramount thing.

They don't need to hit home runs and grand slams. Is it pay per view? They can just hit doubles every week. There's no more pay-per-view. If you have Paramount Prime here, it's great. Or it's, I thought it was Netflix,

but okay, yeah. Paramount Prime. They paid $7.7 billion dollars for the UFC rights. for seven years. Damn. So the headliner is Toporia versus Gaichi for the lightweight

championship. Gaichi shouldn't even be there. It should be Olavera, but whatever. I guess I'll watch. Gachi's going to get the fuck beaten out of him. Or if it's not even Olivera, what's his name?

I can't think of his name. It doesn't matter. Herrera is quickly like climbing the Mount Rushmore of all MMA and is on the precipice of just being one of the goats. like undeniable in the conversation.

This will be his third belt in a third weight division moving up as he went, taking out champions and defending belts along the way. He's taking on Gahn, who obviously scratched out Tom Aspinall's eyes last year. We all hate Gond. I guess I'm really hoping Pereira punish is gone. Gone is enormous, and I look forward to seeing that fight.

That's my favorite fight of the night. And then O'Malley's fighting, Zahabi. okay that's a good fight Chandler's fighting Ruffy don't fucking care Chandler hasn't been good in two years, three years maybe, Bo Nichols fighting a guy I don't know, I'll always watch Bo Nickel

I'm interested in the freak nature of his wrestling expertise and then Diego Lopez is fighting Garcia who fucking cares Lopez does nothing but lose I've never thought Lopez is a good fight I don't know why he keeps getting title fights he fought Volcanowski twice now it makes no sense

so good card just not a great card. I mean, it shouldn't it be the greatest card? You know what I mean? It seems it seems to do it too. Like they had a year to get their pieces in order. That's why I believed in it so much is because they gave it a year. They're like, next year, we're doing this. And it was like, oh my God, they have a year to get their ducks in order and to lure Kabeeb out of retirement, lure Connor at of retirement. See, those names I know. I know. So I don't know what happens behind the scenes. But like on Twitter, the fighters you really want to see, the Kana McGregor, the John Jones, they're saying put me on that card. Now, if in private, they say, I don't want to be on or another way of saying I don't want to be on is pay me a quarter billion.

Yeah, I was going to say maybe I'm getting the money. Right. Well, I think Dana White has a point when he's like, there's more than one way to turn down a fight. And one of them is to ask for $200 million. Like, just say you won't fight. Jesus Christ, you know, like, so I don't know what they were asking for. how unreasonable they were or what happens behind the scenes. But on Twitter, John Jones is like, I want to be in there.

Connor McGregor says, I want to be in there. And then we get Bo Nichols versus Mysterio, whatever. No WikiPage dude. I don't know. It sounds like, I sounds like Dana's being greeted to me, bro. I sound like these guys are making more money fighting YouTubers and frigging fighting UFC. Like it's, you know what I mean?

Like, you may not know this. So Dana White launched Zufa boxing. He's taking on the boxing game. They signed some guy that was like one and three in his last three outings. And it was 10 million for one fight. You know, like that's the higher echelon of the UFC stardom. I think John Jones probably is making like $15 to $20 million, like these last couple, something like that. And I think he was probably asking for like 30 for like Aspinall or something.

I think they agreed. Isn't that what they're making at what's his name, the YouTuber's fight? Jake Paul. It's hard to tell who what. what's going on with Jake Paul's numbers because he, like he's doing that thing where he's promoting and he owns the company that owns the company. He's getting paid so many times during that deal. It's like owning a record label at that point.

He's really cleaning up. Like, like, and he's, I would argue, some of those fights look fixed to me, you know, and,

and he does, he's really good at doing like what are basically exhibition bouts and making tens and tens of millions of dollars. He's on another level doing his own. Kyle argued, which I hate, but he's not just the fighter, but he's also the businessman, which is true. But another thing is, I feel like they lie about the money in an effort to promote the fight. You know, they just got paid $200 million for this.

Yeah, show me the check, because they never do that part. They keep fighting. I think sometimes they exaggerate the pay to hype the fight. Maybe. Could be. But they have, and he only lies. so I think Chale said the most he ever got paid was like $8 million. I think he got $8 million.

I don't remember. So in general, you guys don't think it's beneath an establishment like the White House to be holding something like this. No, I don't think that it's a bad mark on. I think it could be the other way around. I think the White House might make the UFC look bad rather than the UFC ever making the White House look bad. I really do.

I think it goes more that way than the other one. Like the fights would end too quickly? or they wouldn't be entertaining. No, it's aesthetics. Being associated with the Trump administration is a worse look for the UFC than the vice versa. Oh, at this point, yeah.

There's a war going. Hopefully the war is over, but if we're like actively bombing Iran while Trump is sitting there watching... Didn't Israel just kill the guy they were talking to? Trump out lied to forever. They've done that multiple times. They keep asking the Iranians to like negotiate.

That's how the war started. they were negotiating and that's why everybody was clumped together for the negotiations that we asked for and then we blew them all up and we did it again and again we keep doing it I don't think it's we I think Israel did that and we yes Israel did that israel and the military troops that they're sending they're putting in hotels they're the ones calling the shots they're putting the US troops we're sending there in hotels which is literally against it I don't think it's a war crime per se but it's definitely against the laws of war we're mixing our troops in with the civilian population Well, that's pretty gay.

None of us like that. I want to get to another one of these. You are only allowed to play one. Tell the people how they can ask us one of these questions. How do they do that? Yes. Join our Patreon. Patreon.com slash P.K.A.

Painkiller already. I think it's a link down below. Actually, it's linked down below. And $10, you can ask us a question. We'll address it. If it's good, if it's like retarded, then we're, you know, we don't do everything. We're not going to do silly ones. You can only play one video game for the rest of your life.

No matter what comes out. I know the answer right away. Then you go first. GTA 6. You're going to bank on that? Yeah, and it's not even out yet. I'm banking on it. Yeah, absolutely.

Let me tell you what's going to happen with GTA 6. They just spent, how much did it call it? Did it cost? That doesn't mean it's going to be great. Answer my question. Don't I'll go. I'll interject. What was the game that's the in?

What were the game they put all that money to where you could travel to different worlds and stuff like that? They say two to three billion. No man, Scott. Two to three billion. All right. So hear me out. Hear me out. They spent two to three billion dollars on this on this game.

I don't even know if that counts marketing. Maybe it's going to be a solid five by the time that they market the thing. That's been curious. If it, if there are customer complaints, flaws, flubs, issues with the game, you better fucking believe they'll be fixed in a timely fashion. This game is going to be doctored

and handheld for the next decade or decade and a half. It took them, how long between the last one of this one, like 10 years? It's going to be that, right? It's going to be at least that again. By the time they're done with GTA6, it is going to be such a massive,

all-encompassing, role-playing, multiplayer live experience. it's going to be the shit. I'm not saying it's even my favorite game, but it's going to be the biggest, most expansive, most content, most things to do, most repeat action of any game there's ever been. So many mods, such a huge world.

The role play. But will you like it that much? Yeah. More than I would play phasmaphobia the rest of my life, guessing ghosts, or playing like a battlefield, or even playing Skyrim. Like, how many fucking daggers am I going to make?

it's going to be, I'm going to be 75 years old, make it daggers. Aren't there infinity mods for Skyrim on PC where you can add quests? It doesn't give it an edge over GTA, though. Oh, no, no, of course not. But I was meaning like, you will get sick of the GTA core mechanics and whatnot, the same way you would with Skyrim. No, there's totally different things to do. Obviously, there's the story mission, but the multiplayer aspects of modern GTA are endless.

It's like a Minecraft fucking faction server almost, especially with his role-playing servers. I hope it's good. I really hope it's good. I have high hope. Me too. Games that entered my mind were escape from Tarkoff, right? It's very deep.

It's very complicated. It takes forever to master. And I feel like if you're a 2,000-hour escape from Tarkoff player, you're not particularly high hour. Like that's a game that takes a really, really long time to get your arms around. So it was on my mind for forever game. I thought about Eldon Rink. Again, it's heavily modded and I enjoy that game.

And it's a big, big. big, big game. There's a lot in it. And then Kyle said GTA6, and I don't think my games are even close to his. I think I would just copy him. Good, GTA 6. How about you, Walt? One game, the rest of your life, these two are going GTA 6. That's really, I'm... It's tough. Come on board. The water's fine. Yes. We don't know how the water is. Game costs $3 billion to make. I like a tactical shooter game. Like, I mean, I love GTA.

GTFI was great. You know, driving around, doing the heist and all this stuff and everything. But, like, I can play a battlefield for days and not even think twice. But, like, I have to stop myself because I feel like I need to do, like, and I don't want to be like everyone else. all choose the same frigging game either. No, you're fine. And for the sake of argument, assume that like

the player base of this game does not dry up. Like that, that it will be that robust. I'm going to go with Battlefield 4. Ooh, Battlefield 4. Because I could play that game forever and you don't

need any crazy graphic cards or anything like that. And just the different types of wars and scenarios and just to be different from the GTA series. That's what I'll go for. But on that note, I miss the days,

and I might be showing my age again, but I miss the days when you could buy a game, not even need internet. No updates are needed. There's no glitches. Perfect game out the box that cannot be redone again. because in the old days, you could only make a game once,

and if that's all you had, right? Isn't that a multiplayer game? Yeah. Yeah. But you've grabbed Halo as your no internet game? No, I'm saying, I'm saying you didn't, you didn't update. It doesn't need any updates.

The game is the game is the game. Exactly. It came out the box the way that it was, and there was no glitches in Halo. Well, not, nothing serious, but you know what I mean where we didn't have to pay for updates and skins and little add-ons

and stuff and you know what I mean? There is no in-game purchases needed. It just came out the box. That's what you had and that's all you needed, right? So that's my thing. But again, I would go battlefield for my forever game. My number two is Tarkab and my number three is RuneScape, a game I've never played,

but I understand to be infinitely complex and difficult and to have like a real money kind of element to it at the highest levels too, I suppose. It seems like people get into that and just grind it forever. I think Kyle's very good at this question. Well, Kyle can't add more. It's GTA6. Like, you got to pick one.

Certainly not. That's my number one. My number two is Tarkov. My number three is Rune Skate. I think the... I get extra credit. I think going the RPG... Plus one.

I think going the RPG route is not the right route. You need to find a robust strategy game that you can play differently every single time, which is why I would pick Age of Empires 2. I would play that game forever. This calendar year, they've added six civilizations with unique abilities, unique characters, unique units, everything. Every single game you play is different. They're still updating that old game?

Yeah, it's really. Cobol? They have like senior citizens. Woody, it's, I know that old language. It's the most popular behind Starcraft, too. RTS, there is. Bigger than Command and Conquer, Tiberius? By far bigger.

And you can jump into a game because all the maps are randomly generated. You can play as any civilization and you can be up against any other civilization. And if you're playing multiplayer, there's a litany of options that you're have to compute for and think about it is incredibly strategically involved. That's my number three now. Love you, brother. Thank you. A strategy game is the way to go because they'll keep expanding because the player base is so large for RTS.

And when I say large for RTS, it's not large like the games you guys are playing, but it's a robust player base. And that's because of how sophisticated it is. Every time they add a new group of civilizations with new unique units, you have to readdap your strategy in all the other 50 civilizations in order to deal with that. You have to look at the new unique units. You have to be able to anticipate what they're doing. And in addition to that, they've got thousands of maps all randomly generated with different resource distributions, different geographical things you need conquer. I can play that all day every day and not get tired of it. See, I was surprised.

You have more time to think about this, damn it. I was surprised to learn it was the most popular game, like, because it's old. Yeah. I googled it and you're right. It's the most popular American RTS game or I guess Western RTS game. Like you get to Korea at Starcraft, but if you play RTS and you love real-time strategy in Western Europe, really all of Europe, and. America, it's Age of Empires too.

How good are you? I'm not, I mean, it's been a while since I've played like one v ones online, but I only got up to like 1,500, 1,500 ELO, which is like top of top four or five percent of people. But if I hopped on right now and tried to play on my account, that was like 1,450 ELO or whatever it is, I haven't played in so long I would get molested. Like someone would be, would be playing a sieve. because since I played regularly, they've added seven sieves. And so they might be playing something that I would be totally unfamiliar with and not know how.

That would put you in the top 5,000 in the world. Yes. Yeah. I was, when I was like obsessed with it a couple years ago, I was grinding. My, I, that's why every other computer game I play, I have to switch my hand position because I had a solely Age of Empires 2 hand position. Like I didn't do WASD. I did QWD because that's what made the most sense. And then I would reach and grab and hit the other keys as necessary.

Wow. Okay. But it is so fun. And it's also satisfying. When you're rolling over someone's base because you outthought them or you outplayed them or you invested. When they're rushing you and you go, you know what? No, I'm not even going to foment a defense right now. I'm going to, you know, quick build houses around my guys.

I'm going to protect them. And I know you're investing more than me in offense. Every second you don't kill me, I'm building on you. And you can't keep this up forever because I know behind this, this rush, your, your economy is failing. I like that. I like that. I always love that civilization five. I love when you show up and they, they don't, you come out of the shadow, the fog of war with your fucking army.

And they're like, hey, what are you, oh no, as you start burning their poppy fields and their poppy fields are a cinder as you rape and pillage your way to the heart of the kingdom. You got, you're rushing in with chariots and they're like one spearman like, oh, oh. Yeah, and so I just love RTS as a genre. He built a fucking Parthenon and I built Man of War. Taylor was talking about, well, did you say you changed your, keyboard or son. What did you do for your game?

My hand position for games has always been different than WazD. I keep my ring finger on Q because that's more relevant in Age of Empires too. And so to this day, when I play shooters or anything, and I have to bring my ring finger down to A, it feels awkward. Because I've put so many hours. Where do you put your index in, you say your ring fingers?

Yeah, your middle and index finger. Where do they go? That's still WD. But my ring finger goes on Q when I'm playing Age of Empires too. And you slide it down to A when you need it? Yep. Okay. And then, you know, obviously pinkie on shift. I got into aim training a couple months ago.

I was like aim training every day trying to get better and better at shooters. And I'm like, so what is the right answer? Like what do all the pros do? I think if it was call of duty, I could tell you on a controller, they all kind of get sensitivity three or four. And that's kind of the answer that they've developed. in the mouse world dude everyone does these crazy different things there's mouse acceleration so if you're shooting at someone far away you like a really sensitive mouse you know you want the cursor to barely

move when you move your mouse an inch or two if you're shooting at someone close well that gets you murdered like you have to turn 90 or 180 degrees if you ran right past you and you'll be like sliding the mouse picking it up sliding the mouse picking up so you can use mouse acceleration to make it move a lot when you move it quickly and a little when you move it slowly. Some people like that. Most don't. Most think that it's a little unpredictable. They'd rather have it do the same thing, even if that means that in close quarters or distance, it's not perfect.

Some people use a button on their mouse to change their sensitivity for the situation. I am kind of too much of a panicker to really do that well. So I just choose somewhere in the middle. But Zach, I asked them to write a picture. Some people hold their keyboard sideways. And there are like CSGO professionals. Maybe he wasn't as ready as I thought he would be by now. Zach.

But they're like, here we go. Look at how this guy holds his keyboard when he plays. Like he has a perpendicular to his chest there. And that's not too uncommon. There are a bunch of pro gamers who hold their keyboards like that while they go. And I was wondering if that was Taylor. But no, he's a tall his mouse pad is.

He's, I don't know what he's playing, but he's controlling recoil. That really big mouse pad is pretty common amongst good players. I'm not super good, but some of my friends are super good. And one of the first things they ask me is how big my mouse pad is. And it's like 14 by 14 inches. And they consider that barely good enough. They like big ones.

So that way they can run a sensitivity that requires a lot of mouse movement for accuracy. But if they're up close, this guy can move his mouse like a foot and a half and turn all the way around. I like that too. My whole desk is a mouse pad. That's what the desktop is. And like in Tarkov, I've got my sensitivity rather low for those long range cross hair adjustments. And up close, if I have to do a 180, I'm, I got to like fucking whip that mouse. Like you said, picking it up and throwing it almost.

And I do have a button on my mouse to like under my left thumb. And if I squeeze it, I like drop down like 30% sensitivity. And especially for like long range sniping, just lowering that. sensitivity even more. I can't keep my hands on my, like for A-O-E, like on QWD and shift. I can only comfortably hit like Shift L, like the far right of the middle column with my hand while I'm playing. I can't do Shift P comfortably without taking my hand off my like core comfortable keys.

Is that what you do? I'm home row keys. I feel like home row keys is master race, even though it's not like... You can get left shift in L with one hand? Yeah. Yeah. So my hand was damaging a car accident,

and I cap out at like left shift G. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you just have to organize the hot keys a little different. You'd have to use more numbers. I don't use as many numbers as some people do. I use every button on my mouse. If I can get something off of my keyboard and onto my mouse, I use my good hand for it.

That's fair. When I used to go, oh, sir, go ahead. I was just going to expand. Like all the sliding, all the crouching, all the like knifing. I put that shit on my weapon selection. Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse. You got on this foot pedal master race, man. You're right?

When you got your lean on your foot pedals and right lean and left is left lean, and then you got a couple things on your mouse, your left hand doesn't have to do nearly as much. Even at Tarkoff, which has like triple the commands a normal shooter has. Yeah, I have a preference for lean on the mouse scroll wheel. I tip it left and right. But their point still stands. Full pedals are awesome. That's good.

I only have two buttons on the side of my mouse because I have one of those like Naga Razor connects that lets you put like 10 buttons on there. And I tried to get good at that like hotkeying everything to the mouse. But what I realized, what I didn't know is that when things get tense or I like start like moving, I squeeze too hard on that side of the mouse. And when there's that many buttons, I end up hitting things inadvertently. This is the goal of game accessories. That's not helpful for an RTS.

I don't want to take my hands off the keyboard to touch something because that's most mouse. Oh, no, but that, yeah, I would have to take my hand off the keyboard to hit that. No, you use your right hand that's holding the mouse. Are you ambidextrous? to select something off of that? You push one button and it's a back of your mouse instead of the keyboard. Oh, no.

I use this for Helldivers and like those are all my, like each of those does a different thing. And so like each of those represents like a five or even 10 button combination, like an up, down, left, right type thing. And it's just, it's instantaneous. I do that for Hell divers too. But Hell divers gives you a second. Like you're usually calling in more ammo or air support or something. You wouldn't do it in the middle of a knife fight. Okay.

Oh, no, not in a shooter or something. It wouldn't work for a shoot. You'd be too slow, yeah. It might be for an RTS though. Like if there were some complicated like build thing maybe or like some, I don't know. I haven't played RTS in so long. Have you guys tried Arc Raiders yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have a lot of hours in that, 530, something close to that. Okay. Yeah, I've probably started getting into it. I've been so busy with work yet lately. It's like I'll get in like maybe an hour of, hour of battlefield. And then I'm like, I feel like I'm lacking on something else.

Like, because right now I'm training again to get back into my season because I go on tour again in May. So I'm like, I'm like, if I'm trying to get to the gym every night and after I work, no, I don't do any,

take anything. Why not? I don't, I'm just scared. I'm freaking getting older. I don't want to take any chances of anything. thing. So I'm like, oh, it's the opposite. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's a fountain of youth. Really? This is the opposite of aging. You will be a mega man like like like the I'm telling you like I've I I tell

everybody like get on that TRT bandwagon like every every celebrity you look at is clearly on it. Like all of those old men who are jacked as fuck. Yeah. Like it's it's great for like sex drive. It's great for like soft soft tissue repair. You heal faster you the the biggest way it helps people in sports. is you're able to recover fast enough to hit it hard in the gym again the next day and again the next day. There are no light days. Like you won't get sore anymore even from like maybe a heavy leg day like squats and stuff. Like you'll be sore after that always. But like after like upper body or something like you'll be good the next day.

Like where you don't really you'd be wiped for three days. You'll get five pounds stronger a week on something like inclined bench or something. Like even when you're like already strong like there's no plateau anymore. Side effects. you can get acne being too dope to gel you can get acne lobster too buttery

steak too juicy you can get you make more red blood cells so after a while you should give blood to like lower the amount of blood blood cells you have all to do is give you better cardio though you know what I mean you could be the most jacked stroke victim

you get blood tested you get blood tested you do blood test every every like two months or so like that to make sure everything's still good. You're working alongside a doctor. You're not doing is that pill or needle? Needle. You definitely want to do needles. You do an insulin pin though. It's not like you would see in the movies where you're grabbing you in the butt in the gym or something. You do one of those little insulin pins and like you're dealt. And if you do it right and after you,

you know, you do it every day. A lot of people do it once a week. But with enough practice, you get good at it. I'll wait until they get those pills on point because I don't want to inject. Then it's, you don't want you. I'm kind of like. like you, bro. There's not going to be any pills for testosterone. There's cream if you're liver processing it, injecting it into your bloodstream. Your liver is still processing it.

No, we're going, we're going past the liver. We're going straight to the bloodstream. I don't know how the liver process blood? In any case. I know not trying to catch you. That's just, no,

I'm not right, though. I know with oral steroids, like your liver, they become liver toxic and they'd be bad for your liver and your kidneys with prolongus for you're doing oral steroids. like the needles are just so off putting to me like having to ensure

I'm kind of freaks me out. I would not like. It's not a big deal. I was freaked out at first. When I first started, I tried to do a big needle in my thigh. And I'm sitting here in this chair with my pants around my ankles. And I'm holding like a big needle,

like a pretty serious gauge needle. And I'm looking down at my thigh that I've like sterilized with the alcohol pad and it's like, it's going in there. It's going in there. But I'd read these horrid. stories of getting embolisms online and if you'd hit there you'd get like a vein or something so i just finally i just went whoop and i like stuck it in there like i was gauging a turkey temperature or something like it in there like like like no horsing around no slow stuff all the way

no like like like two two and a half inches or something oh my god in there it's in your it's in your it's in your like thigh muscle like it was a two inch needle a big one yeah and and i'm just and it because it was such a heavy gauge needle you can just like a vaccine needle bro that's yeah i went to a completely different regimen later on where i just did small amounts daily through an insulin bin in your delt your delt is like such a non-sensitive area that like you barely feel it your glute's not bad either like the top of your glute like i need like my wife or someone to do it 100% i mean you can do that if you want i don't want anybody jabbing me like i said when i went and got that penicillin shot i was like can i do that like i don't

want you jabbing me. Like, I'm perfectly capable. And, you know, I would rather jab myself and have somebody else jab me. Because when I got my COVID vaccine, they like jammed that thing in my dealt and like hammer home the plunger. Like in your delve? They didn't put in your arm. That is your arm. Oh, sorry. And it hurts when they do that. It bruises like afterwards because they shot that liquid in there so fast that it like ruptured blood cells and like tissue. inside your arm. When I inject myself, I go slow. Like, I might have that, if I'm doing a big shot, I might have that needle in my ass for like a minute and a half, two minutes. Like when I was, I was. Is that why you get sore when those

dickheads give you like a tetanus shot if you accidentally cut yourself? That I don't know about. I've heard tetanus just causes soreness. And I've heard the same thing about certain things that are penicillin, I think, also maybe causes soreness. So I can't say that for sure. I just know that when I inject myself, I go super slow and take my time because I feel like jamming it in there, like ruptures blood vessels and damages. I mean, it certainly does. It makes sense that it would. I'm a big wolf.

I can't even do eye drops. So I'm a big wuss. You should add drops. Eye drops are hard. I can eye drop and contact put in one hand. My youngest brother, he had to get contacts when he was little. He used to be like, Taylor, put my contacts in. I'd have to be like, hold fucking.

Still. And I have to put his contacts in for him because he couldn't touch his own eyes. Some people can't touch. I got eye phobia. I got an eye phobia. I can't do it. I can't even do eye drops. I got the doctor almost,

the doctor almost has to hold me down when I go to the optometrist. It's crazy. You wouldn't have made it through my, so you'd have never survived my cancer diagnosis. I had cancer on my eyelid, like right on the edge of it where the eyelashes come out. Yeah. Seriously.

Yeah. You wouldn't have racked me. Yeah, they cut that thing. They cut a pizza slice out of my eyelid and then cut me here to get extra skin so that they could pull the eyelid together and sew my eyelid back together. Please tell me you're unconscious. The first time I wasn't and I had to go back for more and I was just kind of in like a no, but no. You're never unconscious dry stuff. That's my nightmare.

It's honestly a little foggy, but I think that's the medication they gave. me. Shit. You got to medicate that. I remember coming out of it and I was, I was embarrassing myself, like as I watched myself, embarrassed myself, just talking, just talking constantly to these nurses. I've got the full room's attention because I'm coming out of like, coming out of the drugs. And so there's like three pretty-ish women like looking at me and I was like, well, I have the floor.

In the back of my head, I'm like, shut up, you fool, you're making no sense. You're babbling. In your mind, you're fucking Dave Chappelle walking back and more. I just had started testosterone like six weeks before that. So I'm talking to him about that. I'm like, you don't even know. I've gained 30 pounds of muscle in the last two months. My doctors don't even understand it.

And they're like, yeah, sure, sure. Now, follow my finger. And it was like, you don't even understand what a beast I am. is he driving home my cancer surgery on my nose they were like do you want like a little bit of drugs or a lot and I'm like who chooses a little

what are we doing here so I don't remember a lot I remember you I can't even see where it was on your nose at least not over the camera they did a tremendous job like was it high up on the bridge or was it down low near the it was um the like the center of it was right

where the pad of your eyeglasses might sit. Ooh that's an annoying place. Yeah well it is also a place that your body tends to not scar and heal really well. I was worried I'd never look the same and I cannot see it at all. One thing I can do is crinkle my nose and the crinkles don't match the previous set of crinkles but that's pretty small that it's fine. That's small potatoes for a facial scar. I was nervous because I was disfigured after, like, during the recovery from it. And it's like, I'm on camera twice a week. I'm disfigured.

People aren't nice to me. This is rough. But it's fine. Yeah. I don't want to make this about me. Did you see my before and after with the TRT? I'm trying to sell the TRT for you. Don't, did you see my before and after when I took TRT?

Me? No. You should. Zach, show him my before and after real quick. I feel a little self-serving, but I'm trying to sell the product to you. Show the one, the after where he looks like the world's thirstiest man. Yes. Tell me thirsty, Kyle.

Honestly, I think Kyle gets this a lot. I think four weeks before his peak was actually his best day. Holy shite. That's insane. So the left is the before picture. you think on the right Kyle you're a beasting way

from beating out this is like that is more no way that's where Kyle and I were texting 10 months we were both getting so that's 10 months

of working out from there are you serious bro you look better there than the previous picture yeah well I agree aesthetically for for sure But what I was the other picture, I was going for like show ready like bodybuilding style. Like not that I would actually. You do another one today?

But I was I was going for that like aesthetic. From the beginning, that's kind of what I agreed to with Derek. That's amazing. So is a side effect of TRT buying that shirt? You don't like that fight milk shirt? That's fight milk. I just, the spaghetti straps. It's designed for bodyguards, buy bodyguards.

Okay, okay. Yeah, that's good stuff. I just need to get, I just, I just need to get to a point where I'm not breathing heavy, running with my gear for two days. He didn't get big, goofy nips. He's got tight little nips right there. Look at those. Did you get the acne on the back and stuff? I mean, you can see my delts there, like, like in my back, not real bad, a little bit, but like, I just started exfoliating and, you know, making sure I prevented the acne from happening.

and I wasn't too bad. And what do you add now? Like 210 right now? Okay. Like on the on the left there, I'm one. Dude, you got down to something bananas low. I think I'm in the 170s on the left. Okay.

Oh, I thought he had you in like the one. It was something. I thought it was like one. Oh, maybe it was. It was so low that I was telling you in our chat. Like brother, you look fantastic. You don't need to do this. And you're like, for.

I have to. Otherwise he's going to be a delt God. Otherwise he's going to be mad at me. Don't do me like that. His delts are obviously on another level, but I think your biceps might be better. Your tries might be better. If not,

they're comparable. Jesus. Okay. My delts are my best quality by far. But his are just a freak of nature. Yeah, that Kyle's totally shagging more gay guys. Oh, look at the cum gutters. Look at that.

I was happy with that. Look at that. You would have been a gay king. You thought it's saying, bro. What have been? What am I saying? And then the guy on the left, what a fag? What a fag?

But you see what I'm saying? Like TRT is a is a wonder drug. It's like a potion from a video game or something like that. Like don't get me wrong. I ate a true. I ate a perfect diet and I worked out with a PPL routine designed by Derek meticulously. Didn't miss a day for a year and did extensive cardio and cut for two months. Your meals made me sad.

Oh yeah. By the end I was cutting calories. So like I bulked. for 10 months and then I cut for two months. The first half part of the first month of cutting was like light just slowly adding a little bit of cardio and nothing else. In the second month, removing calories, adding more and more cardio like at first sporadically and then by the end it's cardio every day.

And like maybe I might have been eating 1,800 or 2,000 calories a day. At one point I was eating 3,600, 3,800 calories a day. During the bulk, yeah. But then you got down crazy. Yeah, by the end, I was down to like 1,800 or 2,000 calories a day, which was kind of starvation mode for me. Yeah. Because I built my metabolism up to process 3,800 calories a day or whatever, which when you're eating clean food, I was eating nothing but like vegetables, bone broth, white rice, and bison. Like.

Bison, oh, not even chicken bison, Jesus. Very little chicken, mostly bison. And it didn't look flavorful. He'd send us his slot bowls and be like, I only have to eat two more after this. And in my head, I'd be thinking like, I hope Kyle's okay. Like everything, the first weeks of the diet, I had everything like in its own place. Like my rice goes here, my veggies go here, and my meat goes here. By the end, I would just make a big bowl and just mix the rice and the bell peppers and the bison meat and just pour the bone broth in and just eat over the fucking trash can.

or over the sink and then just put that bowl away and like put my fucking meal prep away. At one point you sent, I remember you sent a picture of like a snack time or something and it was like two bowls of popcorn and like 15 zero calorie jellos. Yeah. And I was like, my God. Like I found those zero calorie jellos, dude. And I would just slurp those things and they take. I remember it. It was like lime.

I have it. live and so long. No, no, no. I was, it sounded like I was eating. You were like a pirate. You were just slurping them down, eating my skulls of popcorn. I've dated a bodybuilder and I've seen the lifestyle.

And it's just that much dedication was crazy. It's funny because I've dated girl, I've dated a ballet dancer and I've seen how horrible that lifestyle is. I've did it the bodybuilder feet were disgusting like the tolls are just broken and reset

and broken and reset it was just insane and she was crazy but the body was crazy too but and a figure skater no leave your socks on yeah yeah you said yeah pretty much yeah

I mean I was doing the opposite while Kyle was doing this where I was just like I can eat whatever I want as long as I can bench 350 pounds I just have power lifter Not really, but I I just really enjoy lifting

And I have fun with that And so like I don't know how strong you are now Like you will get so goddamn strong Like just it's strength personified It is a strength post I'll do it when I'm older 100% I'm gonna do it

How old are you now? 34 I think it's about kids The older you get The more risky it gets so No not at all No it's better for you the older it gets Because you're your natural

T's drugs You're probably confusing it with what, like, what, like, bodybuilders and wrestlers do where they do these thousand, they'll do like a thousand milligrams a week of testosterone. A TRT dose is much more like 175 to 250 milligrams a week, depending on how low your levels were to begin with and how you respond to the medication. They dial that in over time. They'll give you X amount. You'll use it. They'll test your blood. Oh, your levels are fucking tremendous.

Like, like, my testosterone levels were off the fucking chart, literally. Like, it only went so high. And it was off the chart. So are you going through a clinic for this when you're saying they'll test you and all that stuff? Yeah, I use. So the same company that makes our lock and load product, well, the sister company of that. So that's GorillaMine. Merrick Health, M-A-R-E-K is Derek's other venture.

And it's an online wellness clinic. They do a lot more than just TRT. They do all sorts of things. But my focus was with that. And basically you go online, you sign up. they make you an appointment at a lab core facility nearby. You go in, you give blood. They take a lot of blood.

And I get nauseous every time. And then they send those results to your doctor. You have like a teledoc sort of session with him. And he goes over your paperwork with you and designs a whole plan for you, not just the testosterone, but any other like supplementation. You might have a thyroid issue. My like thyroid numbers were like way off to a concerning level where it was like, either it's an imbalance in your diet, like you're not getting enough of X, Y, and Z,

or you might have a brain tumor. And I'm like, I literally, I was like, Jesus, I'm just about to get healthy. And I've got a brain tumor. I thought I had a brain tumor for like six weeks. Oh, that's horrible. But I went on a supplement that Derek recommended. It's in lock and load, by the way. I won't say which one.

And it cured my brain tumor. Or it fixed my thyroid levels. Didn't have a brain tumor. Well, maybe it's true. The brain tumor you want. might have had. That's true. Disprove it. But we like fixed that and any holes in my diet that were causing imbalances, you know, everything from your vitamin D. And I was getting Dexas scans where they put you in this machine and they scan your bone density and your fat content. I did that monthly so I could

track exactly how much muscle I was building to the ounce and exactly how much fat I was losing and slash gaining. And then we also did this metabolic scan where they put a mask on you that measures your O2 intake and your CO2 output. Oh, on a treadmill. You sit still. You don't move a muscle. You lie in a dark room and relax as much as you can because they want your basal metabolic rate, your base metabolic rate.

What you would do if you just laid on the couch all day like I like to. And we had that number. And then through diet and exercise, we built that number up. Every time we would take that number again, it was higher. So I was burning more calories just sitting on the couch. then before it went from like 1,800 or 2,000 or something to like 2,500, 2,800, 3,000. So my body was just. It doesn't script your blood pressure?

It did. And I had to cut salt out of my diet. And that brought my blood pressure down to a manageable level where there was no need to like do like Lipitor or any sort of like actual prescription drug. You grab some leeches? That was the that was the biggest. side effect was blood pressure was higher and I had to cut salt out of my diet, which meant I was eating those meals bland, you know, like even mustard has fucking salt in it. Every, like,

everything tasty with vinegar has salt. If one of those samurai cut me in half, I would have that explosion. When they, when they take my blood, it's purple. It's so dark. Jesus. They always go, woo. Good stuff. Some grandma's like, I'm feeling fantastic today. She gets an infusion from you.

You got me thinking, bro. You got me thinking. I highly recommend. Do some online research about the health issues. Really, the only side effects, I know we're about to wrap, but it's if you have genetic predisposition toward hair loss, it will exacerbate that. I don't think that's going to be an issue with you. Oh, good.

It can cause your ball shrink. It will do that. And it will, it can give you acne. but again, if you had acne when you were a teenager, you'll get acne again. As long as it doesn't make other things shrink. No. No, your penis would be fine, but you will not be fertile.

You'll need a reduction by the time you're done. But if you're not fertile, do you still shoot a certain amount? You'll shoot a bunch of dead boys. Yeah, but you're still shooting now. Well, that's what we have lock and load to supplement that. But no, I saw no reduction in seminal fluid volume. Okay. He did tell me that he was like, this ain't birth control, but it's like the next best thing.

You're shooting blanks, most likely. Okay. Yeah. Crazy. All right. Thank you, brother. Well, Wolf, where can everyone find you? Wolf Paintball on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and all that fun stuff.

And please subscribe. Yep, yep. And check out his movie, 48. Sounds cool. Oh, yeah. Hello. And yeah, leave me a review on my channel. Let me know what you think.

Honest opinion, please. PKK 798. What?