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live pka nearly pk pkn i don't know 104 so we were just talking about star trek you know the
new star trek movies and the lens flare and woody's seen the third one the newest one he
likes a lot beyond and i was i was thinking like the reason i liked star trek as a kid is because
because kirk is i mean it's every trekkies always talk about how star trek is all this science and it's scientists
like uh figuring stuff out through the scientific uh method but i i'm watching it right now and it
seems like kurt just stumbling his way through the galaxy punching aliens out and shooting goons
with his laser gun and like photon torpedoes and like racism and bigotry and i know they were
trying to focus on those themes because
it was the 60s and they were trying maybe there was a bit of an allegory there but still like i
watched the episode today they're on they described the the the planet as uh a race of hedonistic
people so it basically seems like they're just always fucking like and so and so like they're kirk and uh and bones and uh scotty are in what basically wink
wink it's tv is a whorehouse like it's all like dudes paired off with ladies and they're all
sitting on the floor like on their elbows like eating fruit and like talking but but scotty's
even like do you mean to say that uh and kirk's like oh yes oh yeah and he's like like, do you mean to say that? And Kirk's like, oh, yes.
Oh, yeah.
And he's like, you see the dancer over there?
Told her to come over after she's done.
She's for you, Scotty.
And so, like, everybody make parts ways, and Scotty takes his whore dancer off.
And the next thing you know, he's stabbed her to death.
They find her maimed and murdered, and he's holding the knife. It's literally Kirk and his buddies go to some whorehouses
and one of his buddies stabs a whore.
That doesn't seem like scientists
going through the universe.
I want to hear the music start with the font and it's like
the gang stabs a whore.
It's the always sunny
Philadelphia start.
That's just so impressive. Star Trek has always been
forward seeing. They predicted lots of whores
would get stabbed. That's one thing that's so funny to me about star trek is when
people are like dude unlike star wars like they predicted real shit like they imagined
imagine that you could read books without the book even fucking being there it's like yeah
everybody could imagine that anyone could imagine that people didn't like like steve jobs i know he didn't invent it but he wasn't sitting around like watching old star trek episodes like
no no fuck fuck i'll never get it right like no there was one dude the best little racist moment
where like so so there's some kind of issue with the systems on the planet i don't know whatever
some computer system and uh captain kirk is talking to this man and he goes, you're not from here, are you?
He's like, oh no, I'm not from Regulus.
I'm from Raja. As you
know, the people here are a bit simple
and these systems are far too
complicated for them. And I was like, wow, the whole
species is too stupid to keep
to do basic maintenance?
That's literally what they're saying here.
Dude, the new Star Trek, though, has all
that, but it's done by X Games athletes.
That's Kyle's thing.
Like, it still has the racism.
It still has the fucking aliens.
It still has the, like, I don't know,
like, punching giant slimy creatures
in what would be a chin.
But you take that, and you're like,
ah, Kyle nailed it.
I think it was PKA, or I don't know if it was private.
But it's like you get a bunch of X Games athletes.
You present with them the end of the world or some situation that needs to be solved.
And they're like, huh, all right, I'll need a bungee cord, a wingsuit, and some sort of –
And a sword.
Yeah, yeah.
A sword.
Oh, dude, there's like bungee cords, wingsuits, motocross, right?
And they're like, let's go.
And they're like skydiving around like in weird gravity things.
I just feel like Star Wars, which I also really like,
and I'm going to be enthusiastic when the next one comes out,
but like Star Wars, their most recent effort is a like, I don't know, 192 year old
Harrison Ford hobbling across the ground with his broken ankle or hip or whatever. And, uh,
they have to write that in. Cause he was actually injured like an old man broke his leg, um, in a
plane crash. Uh, remember when he crashed his plane in the park, right? Or what? I bet I'm
getting that wrong. So he did crash his plane, his plane in the park, right? I bet I'm getting that wrong. So he did crash his plane
in a park, but I think he broke his leg
on set. Yeah, on set. The
Millennium Falcon door lowered onto
him. Apparently it was like a really dangerous
hydraulically operated door
that was powerful enough to lift people
up as they stood on it. And he was
near it, and some
goofus saw the buttons,
and he's like, dude, I gotta press this
and hurt Harrison Ford. That's how it went down.
He's suing everything.
I bet Chewbacca took him
in the back and just raped the shit out of
that guy.
Harrison Ford had a
major role in ruining that movie.
In Star Trek, that was
really making me think, because I've never really watched Star Trek
but I know racism and whatnot is a a big theme if we ever start discovering new planets
of new species we're gonna have to become very comfortable with racism very quickly because
it's not like a bunch of humans here where you can actually say like no like they're just different
they grew up in russia like vodka for breakfast it's fine like this another planet like
imagine that chimps were the other species but they were like 10 smarter so they had huts they
had like a very rudimentary form of mob rule government and we discover there like if the
earth's fucking ambassador to chimp planet gets his scrotum ripped off three days in you can't
just be like oh it's differences
in culture like no we're gonna have to really buckle down and get racist as soon as we start
finding other real races where they're like i know i wish they were like us but they just will tear
your fingers off for no reason man just ask them the wrong thing and we thought lefty was right
went over there ate my baby you mean baby you meanater Jones? I can't imagine him doing that.
Baby eating is an integral part of chimp people culture.
And when you act like cultures are inherently different values
because humans don't eat the organs of their newborn children,
then it's perpetuating bigotry and chimp culture.
Speaking of racism,
did you see that Lefty was doing Pokemon Go voices?
Yeah.
There are voices in Pokemon Go?
Yeah.
Dude, I saw it on the subreddit,
and they linked to it.
And it's funny,
because whenever I hear these things,
I don't really think much of it.
But somehow when I hear Lefty's voice,
in my mind anyway,
Lefty does one voice.
The same voice he does on the podcast.
The same voice he does in every ad.
You're like, oh, dude, that's totally just Lefty.
That's Lefty talking.
And here it is.
It's a 30-second ad.
We can play it in sync.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Ready, set, go. Get ready for battle with pokemon action figures now with scale and in
action mega charizard y is a fire type pokemon battling against gogo a grass type pokemon
activate and attack mega venusaur and mega blast toys go head to head in battle wind up and launch
an epic spinning attack or load up and blast the word
Aryan youth child finally ash at Pikachu take on mega blaziken who will win you can battle at home
Those kids were looking at each other like the other one murdered their parents
This one's for all the marbles do you go home alive do you go home dead find out
at the end of this episode of pokemon like he even did the same thing that the japanese because
you guys i'm sure didn't watch the cartoon really i did but okay i did watch yeah like that was my
bread and like i would get up every saturday morning at like 7 30 in grade school and watch
the cartoon and the the announcer guy he never said pokemon like all of
us did he always go pokemon pokemon and so he even nailed that you know a fire type pokemon
like i don't care for it but good job good job yeah i don't know somehow racism was like oh yeah
lefty let's talk about his new head what is this video video from? Good for him, though. I would not
have pegged that as his voice.
If you would have shown that to me, I wouldn't have noticed.
Really? Like the Star Trek thing? I think
the reason you like Star Trek is because
I think you just
like the way Kirk does business, which is
kind of... Like I said,
I don't like the sets or the costumes
or the effects of the old show. I just like
what he's actually doing.
You know, he runs into this alien and his first thought is like,
well, we need to kill all those aliens.
They're going to be a real fucking problem.
Spock, Spock, how could we best kill those aliens?
Bones, come here.
Let's get into this.
Come on.
Who is Bones?
Dude, the doctor.
Dude, you're right.
So in the last, in the most recent Star Trek, trouble presents itself.
And my inclination was like, let's take a breath here.
I don't want to overreact and start a fight when maybe there didn't need to be a fight.
And Kirk's response is like, oh, photons, torpedoes, fucking lasers, like blast shit out there.
We got nets.
Throw some nets on them.
I don't know. And in hindsight hindsight his decision was the right one and i'm like oh good for you recognizing
that like you know what was a real serious problem right away because all they were doing is like
is that what kirk is like in the show yeah he's like the like the romans where he shows up and
they're like you know caesar they're really not fucking with anyone.
Well, just to be safe, you know, we're gonna
conquer them and make them live the way we do.
Kirk is brash and
flamboyant at the same time.
He kind of, like, he knows he's good
and he likes to
show off and kind of chuckle to
himself about it and kind of, like,
put his tight uniform on a little
bit tighter, straighten in his captain's chair while he like tricks the bad guy and like you
know come out thinks the bad guy he's like oh yeah you've really got me where
you want me here yeah yeah and he's like looking at Spock like we're turning some
knobs he's like oh whatever shall I do whatever shall I do and meanwhile like a
big invisible cage is lowering over the alien or something like it's always that it's great now if you go to the the newer tv shows like with john luke picard or what's
next generation what's the cisco in deep space nine yeah so if you go with those guys that's
where star trek and my like i enjoyed those shows but they seem to be a little more like star office
worker right a little more like they're thinking yeah they're
all scientists and engineers and they're you know they they they eventually saved the day by
punching some combination of buttons in a tricorder and it's i mean i liked it but so i've
seen every episode like eight times i i got i got a good grip on this so kirk is more is the guy who
wants to punch and fuck and shoot his way out of just about anything.
That's good stuff.
And he relies on his team heavily.
They all do.
Picard is the guy who's going to think his way out of it every time.
Picard is going to think a way out of this with science and with technology or by outmaneuvering his enemy and relying on his –
he can do a wink and nod type thing with his people too.
They've all got that thing going on.
Sisko, on the other hand, he's a little bit of a mixture of both.
There's this episode where this Q character,
who's a character in The Next Generation,
appears in Deep Space Nine.
And he's like, he's literally a god for all intents and purposes.
He's omniscient.
And omnipotent.
Yeah.
And so, and he like, blink, and he's here,
and blink, and you turn into a rabbit, and blink,
and we're on Earth, and blink, it's the year 500.
That kind of thing.
And so he likes to torment these
guys and test them and
mess with them, and he does it to Picard a lot,
and Picard's like the thinking man's captain.
He does it to Sisko, and Sisko
punches him in the mouth.
And he's just like, Picard never did that.
I'm not Picard.
I need to watch more Deep Space Nine.
I really enjoyed the brashness, the impulsiveness, and the physical aspect of the Star Trek.
Sisko's more relatable because a part of his character is that he's fascinated with like the 21st century, the 20th century.
So he likes the Cubs and baseball.
And when he goes in the holodeck.
He picked the Cubs and he knew the history.
I think maybe there's an episode.
I hope I'm not getting all this wrong.
But I think there's an episode where he's watching the 2138 World Series when the Cubs finally win or something in the holodeck.
It's hard to get into non-current sports right like like you know like who just re-watches old games i don't
know what were you saying kyle oh i don't know cisco and the cubs and the two there's he would
just go and play he's more relatable because of that and like he cooks and like he doesn't know
what he doesn't really there's not as much like. He's a little bit more down to earth.
And then you go to Janeway and Voyager.
And that was okay.
I wasn't a big fan of that.
And then Scott Bakula over there on Star Trek Enterprise.
That's okay.
You get to look at Jolene Blaylock for the entire run of the show.
Which almost makes it worth it.
That woman is so fucking hot.
And she wears a tight ass onesie the whole time.
And there's lots of scenes. lots of scenes in Star Trek Enterprise where, hey, we all got to get in the sonic shower at the same time because we got that ooze on us from the planet.
And we can't we got to disinfect.
And so it'll be like, I don't know, some hot crewman like Trip or whatever his name is.
And Jolene Blaylock completely naked.
like trip or whatever his name is and Jolene Blaylock completely naked and they pan the camera as low and as high as they as as the law will allow I feel they submit like eight different
versions and one of them has tits and pussy in it and then and then someone picks the one in
between because you can like see like the cleft of her like ass crack starting and like the under
boob as well and And they're just working around
her nipples and private
parts as best they can to show you as much
of this woman as possible.
Is she ever curious?
We're taking a lot of goo-related missions
recently and it seems like I'm having to
shower with everyone after every single mission.
Why are we
delivering things to the goo planet again?
Six weeks in a row.
I'm always on Goop, too.
I heard the actress talk about it.
She kind of knew she was taking one for the team.
Scott Bakula's Star Trek was always on the edge of cancellation.
And she's like, you know, if it keeps the show alive, I do my part.
It was kind of her attitude.
It kept it of her attitude.
So did Jerry Ryan.
J-E-R-I. Ryan from Voyager. She played
Seven of Nine. The chick who was
formerly a
Borg.
She's still got some of the
Borg implants and stuff and she's also wearing
this tight ass onesie
futuristic thing with her huge
boobs and and like nice ass she was married or to a politician they had some sex scandal where like
they used to go to all these sex clubs and like swingers clubs so like that really turns me on
when i'm watching like seven and nine because i know she's dirty i'm like yeah yeah she likes
me peeking behind the curtain when those people go to swingers clubs and stuff like
You've got Jerry Ryan on your arm like what do you get?
I feel like you're bringing the ace of spades right like you're bringing a high card to this swinging event
Do you get like a pair of Jack's back? Are you like what no no?
We're not straight-up trot swapping Jerry Ryan for your normal wife like it well we get three
wives over here yes so they find another guy with a normal looking wife and you
bring him over with his wife and then we see if we can do some sort of three-way
trade what you got to imagine is what kind of swingers party is Jerry Ryan and
a politician going to she might have been the jack of clubs like who knows
what who else was there
bilderberg meeting yeah they're all wearing heads and covered in blood yeah it's like that uh eyes
wide shut kind of uh like crazy sex party where like everybody's a tin and there's a chick getting
plowed on a grand piano i gotta watch eyes wide shut again yeah yeah yeah that i always wondered
that about swinging is like you if you have a really
attractive wife you can't just show up and think that you're gonna get something back because a lot
of the swingers are gonna be a partner who convinced the other partner to get into it
because obviously a man trying to get his woman to get into it it doesn't go the other way i
wouldn't think it does okay maybe it does but it just doesn't seem worthwhile like just it's the
same thing as like an open marriage you know where you'll talk to people and they'll be like we have
an open marriage or an open relationship where we are exclusive but we also fuck around you know
whatever we want those are the dumbest thing in the world because a woman can go get laid at 3 a.m
on a tuesday at a subway if she wants. Just stand
outside and wait. A guy, like an open
relationship for a man is like, oh, you have
a job, you have responsibilities,
and me, good fucking luck
finding time to go bang someone
else. I've always thought that about open
relationships. It seems so silly for
the man, because you can't just go out in the
world with that level of ease.
I had a friend friend and i don't
want to give too many details about him but he was in my universe 15 years ago and um he was he was a
great looking guy he was really fit and he had a good job right so this guy is by most measures a
catch his wife seemed really cool like i liked her um i don't want to talk too much about how I know her and all this fun stuff because I don't ever want it to get traced.
But she was really cool too.
Whenever they were at the party, it was like, ah, it's fun to hang out with those guys.
They're great.
And I would hear tales of their sexual escapades as a married couple that were 10 out of 10.
escapades as a married couple that were 10 out of 10.
Well, you know, she like found herself in a hot tub,
you know, in this like hot tub situation could happen to anyone, right?
And she ended up fucking like four guys
at the same time in this hot tub.
I fell ass backwards into it.
What's this cock doing in my ass?
You're seriously accurate.
Yeah, so like they tried to like work it out and like open relationship this thing and like it was clear that she was just like leading him by the hand
and he's like finding himself like like they they swang i guess but he was like the reluctant side of it. He's half, like, cuck almost
in this thing, while she's
out there, like, you know.
It's because it's a different world. It's almost
like, I like to imagine it as like a candy
store, and what you're doing is
saying, in this relationship, we're
we used to only have one kind of candy.
You know, you're red vines, and I'm
you know, milk chocolate. Fucking
good and plentiful, whatever. You know, and we're exclusive to each other, but in know... Milk chocolate....fucking Good & Plenty's, whatever. Alright.
You know, and we're exclusive to each other.
But, in this relationship now, we're opening it up so you can get any-
All the candy you want!
All the candy that you could ever want, you can get it.
And the guy wakes up the next morning in a Sahara desert of candy.
He's digging through dunes, he's like,
Is that a Skittles? Fuck, no, it's a dead ant.
Like, what am I- Oh, I gotta find something over here.
He's- he's looking so hard. Eventually, oh, no, it's a dead ant. Like, what am I? Oh, I got to find something over here. He's looking so hard.
Eventually, oh my God, a Reese's cup.
Just one cup.
Not the whole container.
One cup.
It's got sand in it.
It's not a nice cup.
He would never choose this from the store and marry this cup.
I'm trying to picture the kind of woman who is a Sandy's Pearl Butter Cup.
In the woman's world, she is in a supermarket of candy where she can just walk around and go,
oh, I want this and i want that
and i want that oh this is on sale uh 10 for free wow nice take all that like so and then
at the end of the day when they're like you know this relationship's going great one guy's got a
dirty sandy peanut butter cup and the other person has a giant cart full of all the candy they could
want it's it's an intrinsically stupid thing to agree to and you have to be a dumb weak man
to give into that she i you know she was a pretty neat person wife partner etc except that she
wasn't born for monogamy and she got married and uh in the end it it really hurt this guy like they
ended up he ended up moving and pursuing a different career.
I don't doubt it.
Because it probably eventually became,
hey, you're the guy who I pretty much,
you have to validate me emotionally.
You have to listen to all the complaints I have.
We have to go do the stuff I want.
And I'm not going to fuck you.
And the guy eventually is probably like,
what am I getting out of this? I think she still going to fuck you. And the guy eventually is probably like, what am I getting out of this?
I think she still wanted to fuck him.
Yeah, she just had a lot of fucking to do, apparently.
I can't imagine being okay with that.
Just letting your heart fuck around.
If someone else is for it,
I'm for consenting adults doing whatever makes them happy.
I'm not knocking you for it.
But I've always said,
it's not my cup of tea, you know.
Like, I tell Jackie, you know, everyone deserves a second chance except you.
That's such a dark comment.
He makes it so often.
Every time I'm always like, what does that even mean?
What's he going to do?
I don't know.
I just see him.
I picture his silhouette in a doorway, flannel shirt and axe in hand, just like, this is it.
I thought he was joking at first, but then when he sewed it into that pillow and put it on our bed, it wasn't 100% sure.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I am not a sharer, not in this regard anyway, and not for me.
And that's totally normal.
It's not selfish that's
normal you know i think most healthy women also wouldn't like the idea of you running around
fucking other women but they want to know that you could they want to know that you could go out
and get laid if you wanted to but they don't want you i think it reassures them on their choices and that they're like hey there's still people trying to nail down what i've what i've got here
i've like i better not stray too far like like when a woman finds a good man she's have you
ever seen a raccoon who found like a marble it's always on the watch you know like it finds
something and it's oh there could be nothing around for a hundred miles but it doesn't fucking come up and take it beautiful little thing broke it with those overly like creepily articulate
hands like fucking shmeagle like rubbing the ring oh the precious yeah raccoons are cool man i really
want one as a pet i mean i seriously do that is a terrible idea oh it would be it would do so many
cool things like you can't lock them up.
You've got to, like, Houdini those things to keep them in a room.
Like, they turn the doorknobs.
Maybe you just feed it like an outside cat.
I want one that lives inside with me and will, like, hop on my shoulder.
That's where the idea transitions from good to bad, though.
As soon as he comes inside.
He's got to be inside.
He's my little buddy.
Are you talking about just finding a raccoon outside or going to a raccoon feeder?
I'm talking about getting a baby raccoon and raising it maybe from the time it's weaned and keeping it with me always in a pocket.
You know how much pussy you could get if you're somewhere and you pull out a baby raccoon out of your pocket?
None.
None.
No pussy.
raccoon out of your pocket? None! No pussy! I mean, I'll be with her while she's getting her rabies shots and it's like 20 shots or something so that's a
lot of time for me to be spending with her. Dude, I have a rabies shot story. Yeah? So I don't think this is a big
secret. A guy that I go paramotoring with, he hasn't been on camera yet but you
guys will recognize him eventually if you watch my vlogs by his gigantic beard.
So, you know, he's a... Lizard a really big...
He's affluent, right? He does well for himself. He works in IT, etc. But somehow he got a hole in his roof and
through the hole in the roof, like maybe a squirrel opened it or something, bats came in.
through the hole in the roof, like maybe a squirrel opened it or something,
bats came in.
Bats in the belfry.
Dude, this, I had no idea this was such a big problem.
So he has four children, I should mention.
And there's bats up there.
And then he calls, like, to get, like, the bats exterminated or removed or something.
And the first guy was like, I can't it like these things are um protected so you know the yeah these things are protected we can't
get these guys out of there you're out of luck he calls the second one and this is funny to me
he said the same thing like dude i would lose my license i can't get rid of these bats for me
but if i were to remove bats,
and then in excruciating detail,
he gives step-by-step instructions on how to remove bats.
But it turns out that...
Can I guess how you remove bats?
I forget the details.
Oh, okay.
Never mind.
Go ahead.
So somewhere along the...
They told him that he needs to call
the health agency or something
because this is a real rabies risk.
They need to get the bats tested for rabies.
And I guess he caught or killed one or something.
Dude, hang on.
So they test the bat that he did manage to get,
and it doesn't have rabies.
But because rabies is apparently very common in bats,
it's outside my area of expertise,
and he has to get the entire family vaccinated.
Circling back, he has four children.
The bottom line on this thing...
Oh, and by the way, health insurance isn't covering this.
So he has to come up with $18,000 for his rabies vaccinations.
And he can't get rid of the bats until like this fall so what they've done
is they've just sealed off the attic from the house so that the bats well now they own the
attic and by the way all the things in the attic they're supposed to like not keep those like you
know any mementos or whatever i don't like no yeah so it's just not what would happen to me i hear
you and i'm almost gonna wrap
up I just like something awful happened to him that seems like it could happen to anyone who
plays by the rules that is that uh fuck that shit yeah I he's out 18 grand the contents of his attic
and his attic for like months how would you handle this so when the guy told me they were protected i'd be like
okay don't worry about it and then i would know that i have to take matters into my own hands
and that i can't tell anybody about what i'm about to do because there's no way i'm going a step
further and allowing like some sort of government regulation on bats that have invaded my fucking
home on my private property that's not going to happen.
We're going to gas those bats with
fucking poisonous gas and we're
going to gas them the next day and the day after that
and the day after that. I'm going to
go up there with a fucking biohazard
suit. You can buy those suits, not
literally biohazard, but a full on suit
with a respirator and everything.
And I'm going to start shoveling dead rat
bats and guano
because i'm sure his attic is full of that he investigated options and that makes you really
sick apparently you have to like remove all the bat nests or they smell forever and it's nearly
impossible to remove all the bat nests now Now I remember. He found one nest.
Like he found one thing.
And the experts were saying like, oh, no, there's many more.
What does it look like?
I can't even – because to me, when I picture bats, I picture them just dangling upside down.
Right, from a rafter or something.
Yeah, no.
Apparently there's nests or something.
Maybe the babies live in the nests.
I'm making this up.
I'm not sure.
But, yeah, they would need to, like...
And if you just get rid of the parents,
like, those are the ones maybe you could catch.
The babies will just die a very stinky, terrible death.
Fuck it.
Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong, like, pest,
but I'm almost positive that because bats are so, like,
in tune with sonar and
whatnot that there's little like electronic devices that you can place around that really
upset them and disorient them and it makes it so that like they they just they can't see where
they're going and they'll they leave so then you'd have dead babies which maybe is preferable to what
he's got going on you know dead babies don't cost you 18 grand Once you get the bet see the thing is once you've killed the bats. There's no more regulation involved now
You see the contractor now you need a guy to tear your roof apart and go in there and dig
Like once the bats are dead then you don't need then you then nobody has to kill them
There are no laws to break you can just say oh there must have been a gas leak upstairs
Couldn't get up there because you know inf, infested with bats. This bat was shot six
times.
Looks like you stabbed this one
with a bayonet.
This one's been beheaded and it's in on a
pike, right? That's what you need to do. You behead it
and then you put it on like a barbecue
skewer right outside where they get in as
a warning to others so they know
like, oh, Jesus, Ted. I'm not
going to end up like him.
Cause of death? A fucking CSGO knife?
It's still in there?
That's not mine.
I bet you get some of those bug bombs, you know, the kind you pop and leave in your home over, you know,
and I bet a couple
handfuls of those. A couple handfuls of those
are my answer to almost any home
infestation. Anytime I've got anything
going on, I'm like, we're going to leave the house for the day.
Because it's fun to do
because it feels like you're popping gas grenades.
And I've thrown them up into crawl spaces and ceilings.
Because even if there's nothing,
I don't want little house spiders crawling around.
Let's kill them all.
It should be sterile.
Every now and then, literally just for the fun of it,
I get this broad spectrum pesticide
that you plug a water hose into and just kill the entire yard there'll be like a it's like judgment day
for crickets they're all running away from the spread of the you know the poison and they'll get
onto the asphalt and like they're all going for help no no there's nowhere to hide from i'm just
soaking them all down i love it we had an infestation when I was a kid.
I was like 17 or something.
Maybe I was in college, so call me 19.
And my dog had died.
And towards the end of her death, she was attacked by fleas.
And she didn't have the mobility to deal with it.
I'm not a vet, but they explained to us that the fleas almost sensed that this was, like, a dying dog and attacked her in a way that normal dogs don't get.
And we tried giving her, like, baths and the flea collar and stuff like that.
She was just too susceptible to it.
Anyway, she died, and we still had these fleas.
And it was bad.
Like, if you were to put your, like, head down by the carpet, you'd see them jumping around and stuff.
We had an infestation issue.
I've had that too.
Have you?
I thought it was like just us.
And my parents, in hindsight, I feel like they should have really been on top of that instead of leaving it to the kids.
But my wife, like in my, like me, like this is the filth that i live in my it was jackie she's
like oh no you know we're gonna bug bomb this thing we're gonna kill all these fleas and uh
sure enough like we just i know we read the labels and saw how hard they spread we used two or three
of them and uh we came back and my parents were like, well done. Congratulations.
Thank you for solving the flea problem.
That was all it took.
Regarding one of the pest stories, I don't remember if I've told this.
A lot of my friends were in fraternities in college, and one of them was a much shittier frat house than the rest.
Just garbage.
shittier frat house than the rest just garbage and the way my buddy tells the story is this is years ago he was laying on his top bunk in a shitty room in the fraternity and there was a hole
directly above his head up into the the ceiling like the the roof area the attic and the hole
was there because someone got hammered and wanted to punch a hole up in the the roof and then they
ended up just picking at it and tearing it. You know how it goes.
And he was saying how
he was laying there one night and he was always hearing scratching
and little like, like little scratching
and running around in the ceiling and he was always
like, what the hell is that? And he woke up one day
and he saw a raccoon
head looking down at him
and he said he opened his eyes and as soon
as he opened his eyes, it just went poof! Right back
up into the ceiling and so he
and a bunch of my friends
grabbed brooms and
bats and everything they could
just a lot of them
clearly hammered and
got up into the roof
made the hole bigger so that they
could climb up in there and look around
and obviously the raccoon isn't an idiot
so it doesn't just have one escape route it can get through a bunch of different places and it crawled down as
they were all looking in the roof and they walked back out into the hallway thinking they'd lost it
and this fucking raccoon was sitting in the hallway waiting for him and as soon as he saw him
it just goes and charged at a buddy of mine who had to hit it with uh the the thin part of a broom to just like
disorient it and then as it was disoriented someone like grabbed it with like a pizza box or something
kind of like that and then they went and just threw it from the second story outside hoping
that it would either die or run away and so for the next like and they didn't want to bring it up
because basically the way
fraternity houses work is they're supposed to get renovated every x amount of years but they never
do and so it's every the joke is anytime you're applying to college you know if you're out there
going to go to college every fraternity that you speak to about rushing is going to go oh yeah dude
do we got a new house on the way it's going to be up in two years like no they're all horseshit
garbage and so they didn't admit to anyone that they found raccoons in the house
so that nobody could come in and tear it down.
And so they just had to live with a couple more raccoons, I guess,
because they kept coming.
But, yeah, those things are fucked up.
I would not want to be around them.
If Kyle was in that frat, he would have befriended the raccoon
and made him a little buddy.
That would have been a bandit.
Our mascot. Yeah, I would have befriended the raccoon and made him a little buddy. That would have been a bandit. Our mascot.
I would love to have a pet raccoon.
They're incredibly intelligent. Those dexterous hands
really interest me.
I like the idea of training one to do something cool.
All those fingers.
I really love that video where they give
a raccoon
cotton candy.
Raccoons wash their food before they eat it so he takes the
handful of cotton candy and puts it in the water to wash it and then he's like oh shit as it
disappears of course it's cotton candy he's just like oh oh no no where did it because he's tasted
it you know it's pure sugar it's literal pure sugar and he's just like where is it gone he's
so sad and then like if you watch the full video then they get him some more cotton candy and he's just like where is it gone he's so sad and then like if you watch the full video
then they get him some more cotton candy and he's happy again but like that that's just such a
heartbreaking moment when he tries to wash his cotton candy and it just vaporizes that's funny
oh taylor you saw suicide squad yes i did um you guys haven't seen it yet so i won't spoil anything
but um i i really didn't enjoy it that much and part of it
may be because i have a bias against superhero movies not because i think they're like just
shitty or stupid i just don't like them as much um but i also thought it was better than it was
better than what i thought it would be because after looking at all the reviews and how
overwhelmingly horrible they were i was really going into it thinking like this is going to be hot garbage and it was it wasn't good but it was not fucking 20 on rotten tomatoes or whatever
they said it was i read um that it was and so hope and her boyfriend went to see it this weekend
and the guy's like it's dark and by dark i don't necessarily just mean like you know dark comedy
or like you know tough he's like no it's dark like half the film takes place in the dark there are scenes that really need more lighting
in suicide squad like they just oh my god i saw it in 3d and i wore my glasses there and i i wasn't
even thinking i was thinking like hey it's 2016 maybe that you can just watch and it'll be in 3D now. I wasn't really thinking. And I had to watch the entire movie with 3D glasses kind of like cockeyed placed over my own glasses.
So I was getting my very own J.J. Abrams organic lens.
All over the goddamn place.
The whole movie.
And that was upsetting.
But yeah, it is really dark.
Like Woody said, hard to see.
Not like, oh my god how creepy because um melissa disagrees about the joker and she was like well he has to be different
because he's in a different world than where the christian bale series joker was and that makes
sense but i also don't think that any joker in any reality would try so hard to come off as
fucked up like part of what was good with heath
ledger was like he didn't seem like he was trying to be fucked up he just seemed like a crazy guy
who that's just the way he was and he was always licking his fucking mouth and like doing his
whatever and it was like oh man this guy's deranged jared leto leto he it's like someone
told him 20 minutes ago you you're not the Joker.
And now he's like, oh yeah, I'm the
fucking Joker. I'm doing little
pieces for everybody's Joker.
He has ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha
tattooed on his chest. Not a very
macabre, dark thing. Kind of just
stupid. Something that maybe the Joker did when he
was 15 and later regretted it.
Yeah, it wasn't that long. that would be funnier it just wasn't that good um at all for the most part i never felt like
anything was at stake and they did not explain killer croc enough to make any sense as to why
he was there and he also was needlessly difficult to understand. Ten times
as hard to understand as Bane.
Like, way harder to
understand. I defy you to watch that movie
and tell me one thing Killer Croc says.
What's up with this guy?
He'll be like,
I don't even know
about it, man.
I didn't get that.
Is Killer Croc black?
Why are you making him sound so
like a rapper or hood
or something? I thought he was just a crocodile
man who lived in the sewer.
Why would he speak...
Do you expect your crocodiles to enunciate better?
I'd expect him to be
understandable.
Even if it was really difficult
to understand. i mean because he
is an alligator or a crocodile the joker only has like 12 minutes of screen time i read yeah it he
wasn't a huge part and the entire thing he's doing is uh this is actually in the trailer so it's
really not giving anything away he's always he's trying to rescue harley quinn the whole time um
which was another thing that confused
me, and I talked about it on Truly Terrible, but I'll
be brief, that they
really went through the little vignette of everyone
in the beginning where they're like, oh, this is Will Smith.
You know, he's dead shot.
And it shows him doing his fucking
thing of, you know, that's what he is.
And they have the little intro vignettes. They get to
Killer Croc. There's
nothing. Nothing. Oh, this guy, he's really strong, get to kill her croc. There's nothing.
Nothing.
Oh, this guy, he's really strong and he lives in the sewer.
Oh, good.
That's all I wanted to know about the most interesting character.
Okay, next.
Yeah.
And then Harley Quinn,
they didn't do a very good job
in the beginning half of the movie
showing why she was valuable to the team
because it was like,
this guy can summon fire,
this guy can shoot
a dime out of a fucking gnat's ass from six miles away this guy can do xyz this guy can do that
and this girl is a huge liability and she runs around causing problems to our plan and so it was
like i don't know it there it it was not a well-made movie. The more I think about it, the more I realize this doesn't make any goddamn sense.
Well, so it shouldn't make much sense because it's a movie about, you know,
getting super criminals together to go fight some greater evil.
It makes more sense to get your superheroes to go handle that, honestly.
But I'm okay with that premise.
I can suspend my disbelief.
What's important is that it's executed well
and in a believable and entertaining fashion.
And I watched, I think, what he did too,
the YMS review.
And he made a lot of,
he had a lot of strong points.
I haven't seen the movie,
but he's showing examples of his criticisms
that you can see in the trailers
and wherever else he gets his footage.
And just little visual issues, like it being too dark.
It really was hard.
They were just in a room. It was daytime.
They were outside talking and it was like
fuck it looks like the sun's about to set
or something. Eclipse.
Yeah. It didn't look right.
The whole last scene where
the climax of the movie
I was sitting there just like, can this just please end?
Like, I don't care anymore, and I can't see anything
because I'm looking half normal, half 3D out of my fucking glasses,
and I don't know what's happening.
The corners of every bit on the screen is glaring up.
Yeah, maybe it was part of the experience, too, of watching it like that.
Yeah, that it was part of the experience, too, of watching it like that. But it just... Yeah, that had to suck.
It could have been, if it was rated R,
and they added another 20 minutes to the movie
to make it so you could get more backstory
and maybe replace some of the stupid shit,
it could have been a good movie.
The concept is there.
It's really neat.
It's a cool concept.
It's just the execution was bad.
I didn't like that Will Smith was in it.
Did you see that tom
hardy you know tom hardy pulled out of that there's a guy one of the suicide squad guys
um i they referred to him as discount tom hardy which i thought was pretty funny it's like wow
they didn't even bother to i don't know get somebody else who was going to do it a different
way or anything it literally is like a tom Tom Hardy impersonator or something. Not literally, but it looks like
a Tom Hardy impersonator doing that character.
You're right. It really is an
interesting premise, and it seems
like you could have a lot of fun playing around with that.
Oh, one thing about the
movie to tack on, that it's not a spoiler
because it has no consequence.
So they did the whole intro to everyone.
The whole team. And then
right at the very end, some other guy shows up.
Some Native American guy shows up.
And they just go, what's he do?
And they just go, oh, that's Skylord or whatever the hell his name is.
He can climb anything.
He can climb anything.
His name was Bran Stark.
That is the most useless, stupid ability.
I can't imagine bringing someone with me anywhere because they can climb anything for any reason.
Hey, I'm going to Home Depot.
I'm going to have to get some stuff from way high up.
Hey, you want me to come with you?
No, they have employees and a machine for that.
No, I don't want to see you rappel up there and grab my specialty screws and then rappel back down.
And then, like maybe 15 minutes later,
something bad happens to the guy
and then it is never addressed.
So, there you go.
Be on the lookout for Mr. Climber,
who is useless.
Oh, you know what I watched today?
The extended super director's cut of Watchmen.
Have you guys seen that?
No.
Dude, I love the movie Watchmen.
I thought it was great.
I thought I had seen the director's cut.
This thing was threatening four hours long.
It's real long.
I didn't realize there's a whole nother comic book within the
comic book. Kyle, have you
seen this?
There's an animated section of
Watchmen in Watchmen.
There's a
gang that was previously
not in the film. I don't know. There was
so much. That's the only way
I've ever seen it.
It's long. It's maybe too long i like long stuff
like whenever i see something's four hours i'm like oh yeah let's do this then i'll be one of
those people who's seen this four-hour movie i knew i know there was a film at the cans film
festival last year that was like something outrageous like dozen dozens of hours long
like just to be some i don't even remember what the fucking point was. They're just being silly at that point.
Yeah, just being an asshole.
You know, that's just absurd.
But whenever I see something that's three, four, five hours long,
if it's a miniseries like Lonesome Dove,
I'm always really into that.
We got last place at Cannes Film Festival,
but broke a Guinness World Record.
Congratulations.
Yeah, nobody's going to watch that show.
What was it? 24 hours of?
It was one of those
art films where it's 24 hours
of me trying to take a picture.
It was more than that. It was dozens.
It was like they filmed for two weeks
without turning the camera off.
These people living every minute of their lives
or something like that. I don't remember the exact premise
but it was basically that.
Do you think that people like that. I don't remember the exact premise, but it was basically that.
Do you think that people like that consciously think in the middle of making a movie, like,
fuck, this is way harder than I thought,
and I don't have the skill or talent or resources to pull this off,
so I'm going to go in a completely other direction
that no one else has taken under the auspice of being artistic
when really it's because it's a useless derivation
to take away from the true thing that people would like to watch?
Or do you think they're really just so up their own ass that they think people will like that?
I don't remember what it was.
They were discussing it on the radio, and it's been like a year ago when I was hearing about this crazy long film.
But yeah, anytime something is long, I'm into it.
And The Watchmen, I knew that whenever I watched that, it was about two years ago or something, maybe.
That was the first time I watched that movie.
watched that it was about two years ago or something maybe like that was the first time i watched that movie and uh you know i before i watched it i i got on the got online and i was
like what is the watchman let me like research this because i don't fucking know i shouldn't
go into some alternate comic book universe without some basic knowledge of who batman
superman and the riddler are or i'm gonna be kind of lost so i did that first, and I really enjoyed it. It's dark. It meanders.
There's lots of flashbacks.
It's hard to like most of the characters
because they're all either brooding
or such an antihero that they're basically
just an asshole who goes around killing.
Well, I punch people to death.
That's what I do to save the world.
It's like, well, you're not much of a superhero.
You're just being mean to people on the street.
They all have Batman-level superpowers. Not not all of them some of them are much bigger than
that dr manhattan is maybe the most powerful superhero in all of the any superhero universe
type guy but i mean even owl man or whatever his name is is it owl man man owl or night night owl
or whatever like i mean he it seems like when he throws a punch like it's it's above
A Batman level it's it's yeah
I mean maybe a better Batman like remember that one scene where him and the the terrible actress with the really tight costume like
Level a whole prison block with their bare hands and it never even gets close to competitive
It's it's like you want to make a montage clip, baby?
Yeah. Alright, let's go.
Dude, before that,
what happens is they're in like a
bad alley type thing or whatever
and he's like, this is a bad neighborhood.
And she goes, yeah.
Well, I'm in a bad mood.
And they just like walk themselves into trouble.
A whole gang of people attack them.
And like Kyle said in that scene too, it was never close.
There was never a situation where like she's down and he pulls the guy off her or vice versa.
No, no, no.
It's a resounding win.
Yeah.
They sweep that series.
There's not a mark on the superheroes.
And then later they're like, you know, I think we should break Rorschach out of prison.
I think his name is Rorschach.
Rorschach.
Rorschach.
And she's like, that'll be, like, you know, more dangerous than the alley.
And she's like, that'll be more fun.
And sure enough, yeah, they just go and crash his owl ship into the prison
and, like, just jump into the prison block.
And it's good.
I like that movie.
It's dark, though. In a Batman
movie, you know where this is going,
beginning, middle, and end. You kind of know
the broad strokes of what's coming.
And this, it's really dark there at the end.
And there's not a lot of redemption for these
characters. There's the whole flashbacks
of rape and all that crazy shit.
And then just the comedian's flashbacks
and the things he did at the war.
Most good guys are superheroes.
Not rapists.
Yeah, most not. They don't shoot their pregnant
baby mamas.
The 1911.
Is this a Marvel or DC?
I don't think it's...
It is one of them.
Or are they living next to Batman?
If I remember correctly, it's an alternate universe,
so it's kind of set apart from any of that bullshit.
They're on their own little universe onto their selves.
But it might be... I don't know who makes it.
It's definitely made by DC.
I'm trying to quickly look now and see if it's in the same universe
or if DC has another one.
I know that Marvel has
several universes.
In scanning, I don't quickly see it.
I will say,
I'm not a comic book expert.
I think that the characters
in the comic books somewhere, like
Dr. Manhattan and stuff,
exist with the other dc
characters but that in watchman the movie there's no reverent references to anybody else dc i think
it's a different universe they don't they just don't mash that because the timelines are yeah
here it is i know that i know what it is the difference is that because of the the superheroes
so this if remember the in the watchman the thing is that like people just started becoming
Superheroes in like the 30s or something and then there's different iterations through the generations
But then the difference in timeline among other things is that fucking dr.
Manhattan and the comedian go and win Vietnam for us that was the difference so this so it's a whole different universe whole different
alternate timeline where we win Vietnam
You know at the back of dr. Manhattan wearing that big armored thong.
He should have just taken it off.
I feel like those gooks see him coming with literally 30 feet of cock.
They're going to give up on me. Especially an Asian guy, right?
They'll be extra intimidated by that.
I think he was taking the high road of
you know i'm gonna defeat you but i'm not gonna literally drag my cock through your land what if
he like came out and pissed fire on them or something like like he i feel like he made
himself so enormous that a stream of just piss from that thing would kill a man that's what he
should have been doing but but he had like rays
coming out of his hands if i remember correctly just like making making them explode if i remember
correctly into like balls of gore it was really great i remember because it was just like the
montage in the beginning if i recall correctly where it's like the comedian and man dr manhattan
like pairing up but it's the kind of pairing up that if like i don't know me and brock lesnar
teamed up to beat up joe lozon it'd be like i'm like yeah we got him brock like that's the level
of help that i feel like the comedian was bringing to the table um but dr man like he should have
given them a little more time to surrender because he was beaten the fuck out of those vietnamese
people with his with with his Ray hand,
the,
the just kind of like wave of God.
He's the kind of guy who I'm glad that his character is a little fucked up
because then it makes it where he's a kind of a liability where it's like,
you know,
this guy's great as long as he's on our side.
But fuck,
if he ever decides not to be on our side,
we're in deep shit.
Whereas I don't feel like that with Superman or any traditional superheroes where it's like i know that they're
going to end up coming around and it's going to be fine and they're too powerful for anything to
be truly threatening it's like the wonder woman superman problem i have they're too powerful for
anything they're in to be remotely threatening like you know they're gonna be fine i mean he dies in one
of the comics i mean he comes back to life oh yeah he comes back to life but so was everything fine
you know after a little while i love taylor's concern after he came back and beat his replacement
and you know he just came back yeah um oh i thought he finally went off the rails oh yeah i remember all those times spider-man fell
to his death like that's come on yeah i know see i i get too critical on superhero movies
that's my problem i have one last topic maybe for the show sure on sunday night i was eating dinner
and i chipped both of my front teeth it was can we see him fucking awful not really because i had it fixed
today but um it like i tweeted about it there's this pictures out there in existence i'll put it
in my vlogs but dude like the the damage to the profile of the bottom of the tooth was really
minimal like half a centimeter and then up the front of the tooth, it like flipped off almost. So there was like three or four millimeters like up the tooth.
You've had that.
For me, like my wife is laughing at me.
Like this is not a major dental emergency.
By the way, both teeth had chips in it, both front teeth.
I'm like, you know, like are people seeing anything else but this half millimeter change to my tooth profile?
Yeah, of course.
No one can see it.
I'm licking it so much my tongue is like getting hurt um and i just like it it hurt yesterday and the
day before like not a lot i wasn't in like great pain but it was some pain and i to say air hurt
it yeah the two front ones uh-huh you're you're like you know all i want for christmas teeth
um the uh the like when i breathed in i was aware of air passing across them in a way that i'm
normally not like it wasn't painful it was just like like yeah that's a whole uncomfortable it's
disconcerting because you're like oh that's not the way breathing usually feels. Everything – like you forget how hyper aware you are of the location of all your teeth.
Whatever you got going on in there is exactly what you have and what you expect.
And if you were to just chip a centimeter off any of those little spikes in your molars, that would be the end of days.
Like you'd just be so hyper.
And that's where I was for the last few days.
I was never so happy to be at the
dentist office and and my debt like i sat there they were so competent like there wasn't anything
about this tiny little chip that had them worried they were gonna make things right again like no
it was just they were there's like for them i'm trying to think of an equivalent like if you gave
me a 10 minute video and asked me to cut it in two parts,
I'd be like, yeah, that's not hard.
This is something I do every day.
It's not even a thinking man's task for me.
That's where they were on fixing this little chipped tooth.
They just knocked it out of the ballpark.
It's good as new.
I will say, they say it'll get perfectly smooth,
but they're like, oh, that's just the bonding agent.
It feels like not tooth texture to me right now.
It just needs to smooth out a touch and get properly tooth slimy.
I've had that before.
I've never had it go up the front of my tooth.
But I've had it to where, like, a tooth looks perfectly fine from the front,
but there's just a huge, like chunk on of the back of the tooth gone
and so it's oh it's just like one of my teeth is a little bit like that right now because i just
haven't gone back and got it fixed again because i've had it fixed like three times and every time
they fix it like that at most at most 90 days later i bite into uh a stale cookie and it comes off.
But yeah, it sucks.
That's not what I want to hear.
I want to hear like –
I was like Woody's – this is getting in Woody's head right now.
It is. It is.
Because if you had said like three months later, I open packaging with my teeth or something,
it's like, well, I can avoid that behavior.
Like I just keep a multi-tool in my pocket or something and then i that but no just
oh like regular food that normal people eat causes trouble that's not yeah that caused trouble for me
um oh fuck i forgot what i was gonna say about it never mind chips off haven't fixed it yet
chips off haven't fixed it yet it it gets like a... It's almost like if your tooth is really...
If this is the girthiness of your tooth coming down,
it suddenly feels like it's just at a point instead.
And so with my tongue,
I can feel in my left tooth that's fine, normal.
And then if I move over to the right one,
it's like a blade.
It's sharp.
And I hate that.
But yeah, I fucking hate going to the dentist. the right one it's almost it's like a blade it's like sharp and i hate that but uh yeah i fucking
hate going to the dentist so i'm just gonna put it off until it chips really bad and then i'll
just get it replaced i guess did it hurt when they fixed yours no yeah me neither i was really happy
like it so um the fix is they they have that high-pitched dentist drill thing but if i am right
on this he was using like the edge of a drill almost.
And he just – I think he called it micro-braiding it or something so that it would hear a little better.
And he just – like all over to make it like a little broader.
Pretty accurate.
Yeah.
A little rougher.
And then he puts this –
I didn't like it.
They color-matched the the putty stuck that on there
and then like shined a light on it it turned it hard and they sand it to uh they sand and polish
it and then it's fixed i remembered what i was gonna say to comfort you because it was gonna
comfort you so you're not stressed out so i don't know how your bite is do you so like your top and
bottom teeth when you bite down do they overlap the way they're
supposed to like that so my teeth i i had braces and when you get your braces off your teeth are
like free floating the doctor called it where they're more like malleable and they can be moved
around and so when i got my braces off he's like you need to not put any pressure on your teeth
you need to be wearing this retainer all the time or you will mess up all the process we've made
with your teeth and i was like that's that's wonderful and all but i've got a hockey tournament in chicago for the next five
days and so i'm gonna gonna be wearing my mouth guard and so that's gonna happen and you bite
down you're gonna and he's like all right we'll just try and be conscious of that in like over
the course of a week my bite got fucked up again and just was ruined and so now my teeth like they line up like this oh really so
like if i like i have to like chew like with my chin out a little bit more because my teeth don't
line up correctly like carl yeah i pretty much have to do that my teeth don't line up correctly
and i think that lends me to breaking more and chipping more but if you've got a fine bite then
you'll be fine yeah he did a really good he had um he put what i'm going to describe as like carbon paper you know the old school carbon
paper for writing duplicate yeah yeah and then underneath it it like writes it too um he had
something i'm going to call in the carbon paper family he'd have me bite down and then he'd remove
where the marks were like he could tell where it was wrong uh so it he just it was i don't know if all dentists have
the same teeth fixing power you'd think that perhaps that'd be coming handy but uh he just
yeah he just fucking you work on teeth here i was just thinking about an orthodontist story
no no mostly plumbing here
there's did you ever have to get like that pink putty put in your mouth i had it today they like
jam it up so the first time i went to the orthodontist and i was maybe like 15 to get my
braces uh i got in and they gave me like that big glob of pink shit that they then force into your
mouth and push it up and i have a horrible gag reflex like if i try and brush my tongue too far
back when i'm brushing my teeth i'll just go like like it's horrible and so i'm sitting there
this is where the dinosaur office of this pink shit pouring out my mouth and i was just going
and the doctor's like don't you throw up
don't you throw up don't you throw up we'll have to do it again don't you throw up! Don't you throw up! Don't you throw up! Don't you throw up!
We'll have to do it again!
Don't you throw up!
And I just sat there, and then not even, like, a triumphant, like, hammer, like, I'm gonna
get back to drinking.
Like, it was just a, and, like, just, like, vomit came out, like, dribbled down my chin,
and the guy's just like, this is ruined, we have to redo it.
And I was sitting there with, like, a a borderline panic attack because I have a problem
with my nose.
I had a couple surgeries on my nose. I don't breathe that well through my nose
so I have to mouth breathe a lot.
So I was sitting there just like
trying to breathe past this pink paste in heaven.
Oh, I cannot believe
that.
Vomit and die with that pink shit in your mouth.
That's funny.
What was I going to say? The pink stuff? Shit, I had a complimenting Vomit and die with that pink shit in your mouth. Oh, that's funny. That sounds terrible.
What was I going to say?
The pink stuff?
Shit, I had a complimenting story.
I forgot it.
Have you ever had a root canal?
No.
Nope.
It's why that drill noise made me flinch a little bit.
Man, it's so uncomfortable.
They put this thing in your mouth that's like a spreader that spreads your mouth open.
And I don't even know how it works, but it seemed to clamp around my tooth so that all they could see when they looked in my mouth was that tooth.
And everything else was blue plastic.
Of course, this is all shoved into my fucking mouth with my head tilted back.
They drill the whole interior of your tooth cavity out and then they drill it through the root until and
like hollow it out like doing this number into the tooth until all the root is gone and then they
fill that the root cavity up with some sort of polymer that hardens and cap that shit and it's
an ordeal it took about an hour and 45 minutes two hours of just laying there and sometimes there was just, all right, now just
lay here for a while in pain. But most of the time it was just, and it feels like your brain is
vibrating from the inside. It wasn't necessarily painful because of all the anesthetic, but it was,
you knew that lots of, you knew it should be painful. You knew that what was happening right
now should be goddamn excruciating. And that's stressful.
Yeah, you know that's not supposed to be a part of your body that's exposed.
A guy I worked with, so he's on vacation going to Hawaii.
And he goes to his dentist ahead of time.
And he's like, you know, this kind of hurts.
Like, I'm having pain.
I'm going on this trip.
Like, should we take care of this in advance?
And the dentist was like, I think you'll be fine.
Anyway, on the flight there, it full-on crops up as this gigantic, huge toothache.
It's driving him to suicide on the flight there.
Altitude.
Yeah, apparently altitude has an impact on this, and it makes it worse.
So then he lands, and the whole trip he's in pain.
But, like he said, the worst part of it was knowing through the whole trip what he had coming.
He had a flight from Hawaii to North Carolina in his near future before he could get this thing fixed.
And it was just god-awful.
I had that once.
Like just drink yourself into an oblivion
and just hope you sleep until you arrive that would be horrible that same to the tooth that
i had the root canal done on um i was flying where was i going i don't know cross country
but i just remember being in so much excruciating pain that like i was ready to start doing some i
was doing i was like sticking the like the hard part of my thumb in there
and hitting it as hard as I could,
but not trying to draw attention to myself
because I'm on a fucking airline.
I don't want to be making big movements,
but I'm literally hitting it hard to try to jar it
and make it feel differently
than just the constant never-ending pain that it is.
And I'm asking my buddy, I'm like,
do you have a knife?
Do you have pliers?
Because I'm ready to go in the bathroom and start ripping and tearing like if i'd had pliers in that moment i'm telling you like we've all seen tom hanks in that movie you know knock
and you think oh i don't know if i could do that when there's something inside of you that like
like that's hurting that much you want it out real bad and yeah and it and everything else is a real
secondary concern i was more than happy.
If I'd had pliers, I'd have been in there.
And I know it might crush the tooth,
but I might have just crushed it on purpose.
Just fucking anything's better than how it felt.
And then you would have immediately regretted that.
My cousin did it, and he said after about 20 minutes,
the pain went away.
You should have just went up to the toughest-looking guy on the flight
and been like, hey, I've been noticing you here this whole time, faggot.
See if he'll punch you into comfort.
He might take me in the bathroom and fuck me.
Well, my tooth still hurts and I had to get a blowjob.
I noticed you too.
You're like, shit.
Dude, I have a last topic.
I wanted to not let it go by.
Did you hear Trump's speech today?
The Second Amendment thing?
No, but I read an article about it, I guess.
It's important that I quote him real carefully because it's coded.
But it was something to this effect.
It was like, hey, the next president is going to bring in some Supreme Court justices.
And if Hillary brings them in there, you know, Second Amendment guys aren't going to be happy.
Because right now it's even.
It's four to four.
And when we bring in a new guy, Second Amendment, like, there's nothing you can do.
He goes, well, Second Amendment guys, maybe there's something they can do.
And then he just goes on to talk about how, like, man, Scalia shouldn't have died.
He died too early.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
And, like, my, as soon as I heard that,
I thought he was talking about, like, a civil war.
Like, Second Amendment guys, maybe there's something you can do.
My wife interpreted it as you kill Hillary Clinton.
You know, snipe Hillary or something like that.
Just by you saying it it my impression was that he was meaning like the nra is going the way you said it i immediately
thought he was suggesting it was he suggested or he could be suggesting like yeah if you try and
take those guns for people those second amendment folks are gonna do something about it that's what
i that's that's another interpretation I've heard elsewhere.
When you try to take the guns,
the law enforcement officers who try to take them will be shot at.
That's one way
to interpret it. Kyle apparently went straight
to the assassination concept.
I need to hear Trump say it, though, because I heard
you say it. And that's what I took from you
saying those things, was
that it was suggesting that someone shoot her
but
you know
he's very accurate with that
as far as the justices
and the gravity of that and it might not just be
one justice it very well could be two justices
those fuckers are old as shit
they're old as shit
like and
it's a shame that we got this i don't know let's see i haven't
pre-watched this but i i'm pretty sure this is going to include the quote the quote are you ready
yeah three two one play hillary wants to abolish essentially abolish
the second amendment by the way and if she gets to pick
if she gets to pick her judges nothing you can do folks
although the second amendment people maybe there is i don't know but
but i'll tell you what that will be a horrible day if well my initial reaction is that it feels
like he said he's saying that they could defend themselves.
That is my initial, like, read from it.
But as someone who kind of, you know, thinks about what they say oftentimes when they have the, when it's a good idea.
You know the code, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's definitely implying something, but I'm not, I couldn't say for sure that he's saying, shoot, Hillary.
I don't think that's it. I don't think that's in his head i honestly think what he's saying here's what i
think second amendment people undeniably saying second you know look if they if they get that
other judge there's nothing you can do there's something second amendment people can do he's
undeniably talking about gunfire right if he's saying second amendment people there's something
they can do he's talking about shooting someone.
I don't know.
I interpret it as him.
And I can't tell with him.
Honestly, I really can't ever tell what he actually means.
But my thought would be he's referring to the kind of person who's like,
you know, you want my gun?
Come and take it.
Like that is the kind of person I'm picturing. Because, I mean, an NRA guy is not...
The overlap between them and assassins, like, that's not...
I don't think that they're going to...
I feel like they distance themselves pretty far from assassins
because it would kind of undermine the entirety of what they're trying to accomplish.
But then again, this isn't the NRA. This is fucking Trump.
But that's what I think.
He's saying, you know, if you try and take people's guns they're gonna shoot back
and that's kind of the
fucking point of the amendment isn't it
so that if people come and try and take
your guns you shoot back that's the point
the point of the amendment to me was always
civil war like that was like
the big thing like when your
government uprisings
tyranny that's what it was government
uprisings yeah if the government becomes tyrannical and starts seizing power from the people for
itself it was to be like no we need to keep the populace armed so that if shit does go down
that they can defend themselves and people will have the argument of oh you're not going to stack
a fucking drone man like of course not you jackass i'm not going to go out there with my 12 gauge and save the world.
But people are certainly going to be more hesitant to come and steal weapons if they know that a huge percentage of people have them and are adamant about that right.
Yeah, the Second Amendment is about a few things.
One, it's national defense.
You can have these organized militias that rise up and defend the nation.
Now, we have lots of other organizations that do that now, the Coast Guard, namely, National Guard, all those things.
But, you know, so that's part of it,
rising up and defending the country from enemies without and within.
You know, it's about this tyrannical government
that people can rise up and take them over.
I guess so.
During World War II, I think one of the things I heard about the Japanese
not coming to the U.S. is they said there would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.
Everybody's heard that.
It turned out it's not true.
I wish it were.
It sounds so cool, right?
And it's true.
I think the fact that that Japanese general didn't actually say it is irrelevant because it's true in practice.
It is true.
is true i think if you tried to attack if you tried to make a landing at myrtle beach south carolina and then work your way westerly from there you're not going to make it to the fucking
mississippi i guarantee it you better be coming with mech warriors
yeah right i just don't think you will st lou stopped by in East St. Louis. Yeah, it'll go roughly. And I think that's true about a lot of countries.
I mean, you saw the French resistance in World War II and across Europe under the Nazi regime.
There were uprisings and political assassinations and all kinds of things that they did to resist.
But you've never seen that happen in a country with more guns than people.
And it's not just like there's like 10 more guns than people.
There's like four times as many guns as there are people.
It's like every man, woman, and child can have one in each hand and one in their back pocket.
Like there's enough for all of us.
I got my whole neighborhood covered, and I imagine some of them do too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some areas are denser than others with their uh with their armaments um and uh so yeah
so you're talking about the thing second amendment was for one of them was for
it's making it hard to invade us uh another one i maybe you were headed there was for if the
government stops representing us you can you know take it over and make a new government
and then i guess personal defense you know events home invasion and such. Those are the things that guns
are for. Critters. Oh, critters,
yeah. Snakes and such.
Bats. Snakes and such.
That's what, on the Outlaw Josie Wells,
they're trying to take the boy's gun away.
And he's like, at Raffle 2,
he's like, this ain't good for nothing,
but this is for shooting squirrels and such.
Give it here. They're like disarming
them all. Outlaw Josie Wells is one of my favorite westerns.
It's a good one.
Well, anyway.
It's got Uncle Leo Seinfeld in it.
Trump is taking a little heat right now
for suggesting that Second Amendment people
would stand for the Second Amendment.
Would shoot for it.
Would shoot for it, I guess.
Second Amendment people,
yeah, there's something they could do.
It definitely implies that. I don't it, I guess. Second Amendment people, yeah, there's something they could do. It definitely implies that.
I don't know.
I'm a little happy.
I don't have Kyle's gun collection, but I'm like,
I'm glad I already have my AR-15 and my FN-2000
and a couple of the other AK-47 that might be under.
I was just talking to Matt the other day, the explosives guy.
I was like, you know, if Hillary does get elected,
you know what it means, right?
He's like, hell yeah.
Four more years of business
is a-boomin'.
And I'm like, abso-fuckin'-lutely.
You know how much money I will make if Hillary...
It's huge.
Right now, like, gun manufacturing...
The sales
will be record-setting, and they already
are. The advertising money will be
record-setting. They'll be pushing guns everywhere. They'll be advertising Sales will be record setting, and they already are. The advertising money will be record setting.
They'll be pushing guns everywhere.
They'll be advertising guns everywhere, and they'll be selling guns everywhere.
It'll be a real good time for people who are in the gun industry in any way whatsoever.
But I still wish Trump would win so we could just live in peace and collect my weapons without any worry.
I've put together a nice little collection here. I glad that i've particularly have like licenses that allow me to like you know there's nobody would take what i've got because like i have the same license that the people who
make the government's guns have like i'm it's the same thing i don't expect taking guns i don't
either be a problem now they could stop you from getting new ones right they could like the assault weapons ban um their assault rifle ban whatever they called it at the time uh they
just made it so you couldn't get them anymore but if you had them you got to keep them and i would
expect something like that would happen again yeah yeah and i and and that's the thing you know
that's that's one of those reasons why i'm going you know it's good that i got 12 ar-15 some of
those might come in handy i could sell a couple of those yeah i I'm going, you know, it's good that I got 12 AR-15s. Some of those might come in handy. I could sell a couple of those.
Yeah, I'm hoping the price is going to go up.
I'm sure it will.
I like seeing how politics affects that market.
And I think that, like, maybe the anti-gun politicians are always out there thinking that maybe they're doing some good
or, like, doing damage against the firearms industry.
But they can't if they're intelligent and if they're actually looking at the numbers and they see the sales just explode
after a shooting, explode after Obama comes on TV and says
we can't wait another day before we take action against this
and everybody's like, yeah, we can't wait another day. Let's go to the gun store, honey.
I need 3,000 rounds of ammunition.
You were in Apex for something
I forget why you were in town
was it on the way to Joe's fight? I don't recall
but we went out to the gun store
that was when I got my FN2000 and a scope and stuff
and it was a madhouse
it was after Sandy Hook I think
it was after one of them for sure
and there were people
at the gun store who weren't even
interested in buying guns he's like
i just knew it'd be a show today so i came down here to watch everyone buy assault rifles like
it's that predictable it's it's like i yeah it's it's it's such a moot issue because there's so
many of them already out there and and like i i see i hate the ignorance and i hate i i hate like
i saw this police officer the other day and he was he was talking to a news reporter he's like when we take our vests apart it says on the inside that
it doesn't stop these rifle rounds it's like of course it doesn't you fucking dumbass doesn't
every cop knows that every fucking cop knows that you're just like pandering to this news reporter
like we had no idea that there were bullets that could go through these like of course you did it's
a it's a bunch of really tough
fibers. You think that's going to stop an AR-15
or a.308? You think it's going to stop
a sniper rifle? No.
They make vests that do stop those.
They make fucking plate carriers that stop those.
But then you're
lugging around 30, 40 pounds.
I think you wear those in situations
in which you expect you might get shot.
It's not an everyday thing.
SWAT teams wear them.
Yeah, SWAT teams wear them.
I'm trying to think.
But yeah, I guess SWAT teams.
But you're not going to wear it doing traffic stops.
That's the thing.
Right, right, right.
So, all right.
PKN episode 204.
I'm sorry, 104.
That's a wrap.
Something like that.