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this pkn episode 106 do you want to restart no let's go all right um so taylor you were saying
you were tearing through oz best show ever i am really tearing through it i i guess it's a
six season show and these are hour-long episodes and i've watched i'm on season six now and i
started this show maybe three weeks ago a month ago can't get enough man-on-man
violent rape huh i i have never seen so much cock in a tv show i can see why you like it
looks like it makes game of thrones like look like nothing like there was a scene
where you know in the beginning like there's the black guy in the wheelchair who like gives the
little monologue about kind of the lesson of the episode and in the background there's the black guy in the wheelchair who gives the little monologue about the lesson of the episode.
And in the background of one of those,
it was just every single character in the show
walking around the common room in the prison naked.
Just walking around.
They're all men, obviously, so it's not like an eye treat.
It's just like, oh, Jesus.
Thankfully, most of them are shredded,
which makes it easier.
You know, it's not a bunch of huge,
disgusting globules rolling
about. You're coming off really gay.
No, no, I think everyone
on Earth... Oh, a little, I think.
Is it gay to
say that it's more pleasant
to look at a naked person
who is in good shape?
say that it's more pleasant to look at a naked person
who is in good shape?
Probably not.
I was waiting for you
for him to chime in, but no.
It's absurd. There's nothing gay
at all about appreciating
another man's physicality,
especially if he's in good shape.
Look at every
men's fitness magazine
is it a guy wearing a polo shirt is it a doctor who's going to give you some medical advice
wearing his like doctor's uh thing or whatever no it's a ripped up guy like you can see his cock
you can see his eight pack you can see all the striations he's got a pump and that is what they're
they're appealing to the every guy out there like hey you want to look like this guy are you envious of this guy you want to be like him you know he's hot right
i bet you know how much pussy he's getting imagine the pussy that he's getting looking like this
don't you want this yeah well none of these guys are getting pussy no they're getting ass he's
talking about the guys in oz i'm talking about yeah but i'm talking about whether it's gay or
not to appreciate another man's body.
Oh, no, you're totally right, and I agree with you.
Yeah, it's not gay to see.
Like, if anything, like, the guy, so there's a dude in the show named Chucky Pancamo.
He's the leader of the Wise Guys, the Italians.
And he, like, I looked him up because you can see on the show that all these guys have the
body of like like a casting person was like yeah you're a really big muscular black guy can you do
an African accent perfect we got you you're gonna be the leader uh you're a really you know scary
looking white guy Aryan can you be the leader and he's the one guy that you look at in the show and
you're like that guy actually looks like he like they went to a prison and they found the italians and they said we will let you out if you promise not
to run away and you star in our show and the guy was like i mean i'm not gonna say i'm not gonna do
it but it turns out like because i noticed in the show he has a hell's angels tattoo
under like his clothes which wouldn't make any sense being the leader of the Sicilians.
And he was actually the leader and founder of the Hells Angels New York City chapter.
And he was their guy for 15 years until he quit.
He was in the Hells Angels during the recording of this whole show, which is crazy to think
that that's the only guy who actually had real experience in criminality.
I assume. I assume it wasn't all make-a-wish foundation visits but yeah but i see
that guy it's not even like it is more of a look like god damn like i wish i looked like that dude
like he is so gigantic that it is clear are we still talking about his penis about his uh
musculature he's the kind of guy that like when he puts his arm up on one of the beds, you see
What's his name?
Chucky Pancamo.
P-A-N-C-A-M-O, I think.
Pancamo!
Pancamo!
Pancamo!
When he lifts his arm up,
you see his trap right here.
It's like someone hid
an apple under his skin.
It is just so solid that that's not what people look like without aid but like that's the kind of body we're like god i wish i
had that without all the heart failure he's going to have in a couple years um i'm starting my
workout program this week it's it's it's it's just a matter of like pulling the trigger on the first
day but it has to come soon. It might not be tomorrow,
but it will be the next day if it's not.
It will begin
and there will be no more sugar
for two months
or something like that.
A couple hours a day workout.
I don't want to do it,
but I've been putting it off and putting it off
and this was the week it has to
start. It's coming. I really don't want to have to do it but I've been putting it off and putting it off and and this was the week it has to start so
it's coming I really don't want to have to do it either but like do you ever look at like pictures
of yourself from like a few years ago when you were in better shape or like I didn't track your
oh yeah I've got a whole like tracking system I've got like real fat versions of me you don't
need to go into specific versions or anything right now um but there are fat versions of me. You don't need to go into specific versions or anything right now. But there are fat versions of me and then there are just awful looking
versions and there are really good versions. I know what it takes
to get to the... I feel like I was in decent shape when we did Paintball last year.
In your defense, Kyle, your hair, pure improvement.
There's been no regression. He went from
Justin Bieber to not trying to something else to where he is now.
I'm glad that you read that as not trying.
It's what I wanted it to be read as, but I failed at it terribly.
And we don't even need to talk about that time period.
I remember what was in my head.
It was like, hey, let's just mess it up.
Yeah, that's what I do.
And it was, wow, just what a fucking disaster. that's what i do and it just wow just what a
fucking disaster blunder years uh right there blunder years 25 yeah yeah most people don't
you know most people don't record those moments for the for for hundreds of millions
documented for for all of time but uh i have done that for you guys so so so no worries there
but um yeah i thought i was in pretty good shape at the last paintball thing
because I remember being able to run all day.
And the first day I was barely even tired.
I didn't get tired until the second day.
So I need to get back into that kind of shape.
And I just feel better when I'm in that kind of shape.
I sleep better at night if I'm working out.
And, I don't know, I take healthier shits.
You know, everything is better.
Oh my god, that is so underrated, is being regular and consistent with your shits.
Because, like, I don't know how, like, on the list of things that you hate in life,
I think that most people have having to poop but nowhere to poop nearby way lower than I do.
I have it, that's like honestly number one concern
for me in a lot of at least top three is like if I get out I went to the store last night with
Melissa just ran out at like 9 30 because I wanted to grab something I hadn't eaten all day
and I just went to the store got something and as I was walking around I just felt that like
and I knew that it was at least the prior day's food since nothing had been
consumed like I should have been keeping track of it
but I hadn't and I just I didn't want to shit
at a grocery store and
I just had to like muscle it down
and like stiff leg it into
my car drive home and then like
basically barely help her carry the groceries in
and just run upstairs and take I hate
the feeling of having to take a shit and not having one
nearby it really really sincerely stresses me out more than i should
i can handle it pretty well up until the point where i start feeling like sweaty and like i've
i've like i've like like yeah well it's all right so like you like clench your asshole and like and
like fight your body is like doing this involuntary muscle muscle thing
it's like let's get this shit out of you dummy you don't know the shit that needs to come out
is trying to like make you shit yourself your body is attempting to make you shit yourself
and you have to uh you know with voluntary muscle control stop the shitting so you're
you're clenching your asshole you're you're like squeezing your butt cheeks together i've seen like i've seen people like put their hand back
there like they're gonna cork like you're gonna cork it off or something like that but you know
you force it back and then that muscle like relaxes and it's almost like a plunger that was
like but you never like lost the suction you just went back and it just forces it all like i imagine it going like way up inside of you and like you can do that like three times until it's like crisis
overload mode and it's like the reactor strikes thing again three strikes applies to so many
things in life and that's one you you can squeeze that shit in once and you hear the gurgle you know
you got two more at best you do it three times
You can't risk it again. You don't want to get an impacted colon or something you have to release
So it's like a timer of when you have to do that you have to pull the first card out. Oh, it's horrible
It's horrible
But but but the difference between an unhealthy Kyle shit and a healthy Kyle shit is like night and day like if aliens came
And you showed them both
substances on just a silver platter, they would think that one of them was alive, maybe like
formerly a creature. And the other one, it looks like a chemical spill. It's just, it's a chemical
spill. Like, like if you're, if I'm eating right and I'm getting enough fiber, like, like just
laying some loaves, some nice healthy turds. And there's not a lot of mess there's not it's not a
real like it there's not like big wads the toilet paper like you know like you
know what it's gonna be rough like you don't even bother with these little
bitty rolls you're like oh right let's get started like when you get a roll of duct tape and it's a big job you know you're like like pull off a big strip like you're like that no but with a healthy shit it's barely anything there it's almost nothing you sometimes you wipe
and there's nothing there but i'm telling you when it's an unhealthy one it's mostly liquid
it's mostly liquid it can't be good for you that's got i've got it's just liquid you know
like what i compare it to or how i think of it like, you know when you go to the zoo and you just see, like, piles of neat animal shit?
The way animals shit?
It's like they're eating what they're supposed to be eating.
Like, even if it's a giant animal.
It's like an elephant or something.
And it's just elephant shit.
Like, it drops out and you see it's mostly grass.
And you're like, that's what that thing eats?
It was obviously, it didn't get into the White Castle overnight.
what that thing eats. It was obviously, it didn't get into the White Castle overnight, but
you know, if we kept humans
caged up like that, I bet they would have
very consistently healthy
shits, because we'd feed them what they were supposed to be fed.
But us, we got too much autonomy on
the outside, you know, just eating whatever
we want, having disastrous shits all the time.
If aliens ever came and they
abducted me to get a quick shit sample,
and it was on a bad day, they would abandon
the entire venture
they'd try and find a new planet we pulled one of them up we checked his shit it was just horrific
we're not going back earth sucks anyway we're gonna find another one but it i i can't it stresses
me out so much to not have a place to shit when i have to shit because i when i have to shit it's
all that i can think about and if it's all you can think about you just dwell on it you know and
you're like god this is another moment that i can't take a shit because this is a bullshit
existence and i hate myself and i shouldn't have had that box of cheese it's last night
why can't you ration out your cheese it's taylor why can't you just ration them out
anyway it's so upsetting when you eat the whole box you wake up the next day
and you look over in the nightstand or whatever and that box of cheese it's or goldfish or
whatever is there and you notice that it's not closed and you're like you had this quick like
moment of like am of like goldfish amnesia and then you're like ate them all yeah i ate every
fucking one i ate every fucking one like where i walk out and like i leave the box of cheese it's
near where i'm sitting watching tv and like just like a booze hound where i'm like i only like
drank half that bottle and i go out and it's empty and broken
on the floor.
I walk out and I'm like,
Oh,
I got enough for another snack.
No,
you don't.
You ate the whole thing last night.
This is the family size.
You're not a family.
You're one man in one sitting.
You can't be doing these things.
It's just on the box.
I do that with those Ben and Jerry's pints of ice cream.
And there's nothing worse to do it with.
I think they're 800 calories, maybe 1,200 calories.
It's a pint of super bad-for-you ice cream, but that's like a serving.
It's like a serving.
I can't help it.
I never put it away.
First of all, I get some paper towels to wrap around it because otherwise my hand gets frost bitten from from holding it so long and so i'll sit there and eat an entire pint of uh last night
it was cherry garcia the whole pint i'd never had cherry garcia before i didn't realize that it had
that that it was so good it seemed like a lame one to me i usually get like tonight dough or
something like that or
red velvet cake i ate the whole thing of cherry garcia the night before that i thought jimmy
fallon ice cream whatever that is the tonight dough whichever one comes with the fucking peanut
butter cookie dough and regular cookie dough and fudge swirl and two kinds of ice cream like
i'm not putting that down it's quite possible that i eat better than both of you and i'm obviously fatter than both of you and that is dude it's not easy to be over 40 like i i fear
so much like like i i feel like my metabolism is not as good as it used to be for sure because
like right now i don't feel good because i've been eating like shit for like six months or
something like that that's why i've got talking about working out um but i i weighed myself yesterday and i'm still i'm 187 and like that's like five pounds
overweight yeah i usually stay at like 182 when i'm feeling good and then when you want it back
it just springs right back like oh five pounds overweight i should lose five pounds this week
and i'm gonna document this shit just to see because i never actually like really
documented i just kind of make a mental note like all right started on monday the fourth and then
you know six weeks later i'm like ah six weeks and you know eight pounds different or whatever
it happens to be this time i'm gonna really take note of what's going on to see how much weight i
lose in uh in what amount of time because i think I can lose two pounds a day.
Well, you can't do that.
Why not?
Unless it's a lot of water weight, because your body just doesn't... Sure, there'll be a lot of water weight.
Yeah, I'll definitely...
Oh, in that case...
Oh, speaking of that, let's get off this stupid shit,
because we've done it before.
You want to talk about UFC a little bit?
Sure.
Oh, man.
So I forgot that it was happening, and when I bought the pay-per-view, it was right before the Rumble fight started.
I went back and watched the other three fights, so I feel like I've got the value who gives a shit about the three previous fights.
The three previous fights were good, though. I liked them.
But the Rumble fight, we're sitting there on the couch about to watch this thing, and she gets up to go
to the bathroom, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this shit's about to start. This is the UFC,
and I'm like, sit down. 13 seconds in, and that man's tooth is flying through the air,
and he is unconscious after a double hammer fist to the chin while he was already unconscious,
and he's trying to grapple
with the ref i'm like you see that's why you don't leave the room dude so i think it's a tooth too
and i've heard other people say it was a tooth i know richard ryan tweeted it do we have confirmation
that man lost his tooth i don't see any post fight smiles or anything so my thought on it was so i watched it repeatedly in slow motion um joe rogan said
he didn't know and but he he commented that he'd been getting lots of texts as he's sitting
ringside was that a tooth just the way it was spinning and the weight of it and the color of
it and the way it fell i wanted to see it bounce because i feel like that would have been telling
but i can't find a camera angle where it bounces i'm like 90 sure that was a tooth i said it as soon as i it could be mucus that's what
that's my theory on what it actually is it's spinning it's it's something like a it's spinning
um i don't know i was watching that thing on a 54 inch plasma i was like eight inches away
although you watch on a fucking you've got a not badass TV. Not this time though. Yeah, not this time. Yeah. I watched – so what happened was I got in late.
I was flying that day and I got in.
I think I just missed like the Glover fight but maybe caught the replay or something like that.
Since it was – what was it?
13 seconds.
The replay really did the trick.
But to me, I was like – I thought – sometimes like snot or spit gets knocked when a guy gets hit like that.
And it can make you think it's a tooth.
I've seen that.
But it might have been a tooth.
I'm not saying it's not.
Usually when that happens, there's all the smiles and it's all over Twitter.
And it's trending on Reddit and shit like that.
And I just haven't seen it.
I don't remember the clip.
But I remember if you lose a tooth, there's generally a lot of blood.
Not if it breaks off. That's true, actually true actually you lose part of a tooth yeah the weird thing of
course is that he's got a mouth guard in so and and how does what i'm here's what i'm picturing
in my head because it was this uppercut that was kind of sweeping across maybe his jaw
did one of those where the chin and bottom jaw go to the left and then that motion like
bringing the bottom jaw away from the top jaw in the guard like maybe like broke a tooth off like
snapped a tooth off that's what i'm that's the only thing that i can imagine that makes sense
with physics you know because it's not like you like a regular uppercut like the teeth are just
going to explode like in a cartoon and like come flying out of his mouth like shrapnel like that shit
doesn't happen although he hit that motherfucker so goddamn hard that guy is
never going to be the same I don't care what you say like it I know he probably
wasn't like composing beautiful music yesterday or anything but if he were I
guarantee that shit is not going
to sound the same he's been this back to hot cross buns
he forgot the end you see he forgot the end
doing like on the piano that thing with your knuckles really
i never i didn't know that one my uh my cousin always got really fancy schmancy uh piano lessons
so i i felt like a real mongoloid going over there and doing anything to that instrument of hers.
You know what I mean?
Like she would walk up to it, this girl who's like four years younger than me, and make beautiful music.
She got weekly, biweekly lessons since she was a tiny child.
I think her scholarship may have involved her piano playing abilities.
Like she does concerts
it's absurd and so like the piano's sitting there and I certainly wasn't going to go over there and
do twinkle twinkle little star or anything because she would come right back in there with some bach
or something and just the whole house is filled with this beautiful music that she's making and
like you don't glorious and you don't want to compete it was the same way when I took piano
but I knew more than just like twinkle twinkle when my parents made me do it.
But my mom would do that thing when I was little,
bust me out at parties when they're all clearly a little tipsy.
And she'd be like, all right, Taylor,
show everybody how you can play piano.
And it'd be like, all right, everybody,
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Huh?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in May?
It's either that or nothing.
You know?
I can't tell you how many times in front of my parents
it was like, Taylor, play the piano.
Alright, who's okay with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
I don't remember
the names of these chords, I just remember
from the two lessons that I took and remembered
how to play Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Dude, we didn't talk about the McGregor fight.
Ah, yeah.
What'd you say? I got the round guessing right for McGregor.. Ah, yeah. Guessing right. What'd you say?
I got the round guessing right for McGregor.
The people I was watching with weren't sure
whether or not Diaz was going to win,
but I was like, I don't know a ton about this,
but it seems like he won the first, the second,
and now I'm trying to forget.
It was the fourth, right?
You're right. That's exactly right. First, second, and fourth.
Yeah, those are the ones I thought.
Because Diaz really beat the shit out of him in the third round.
Mm-hmm.
Bad.
I thought that was a good fight.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I really would have liked to have seen a finish.
I think we all would have.
But still, it was so good.
The first two rounds, I think anybody who's a McGregor fan,
and you don't have to be a McGregor fan to want him to win so that you get the trilogy and then both men's careers can rise.
Like I said last week, if Nate won that fight, then it's bad for both.
It's somehow bad for everyone and bad for the sport.
The sport loses some greatness.
There's a Muhammad Ali in the sport right now, and it's Conor McGregor.
If Conor McGregor doesn't get that trilogy with Nate Diaz,
then he's not Muhammad Ali anymore.
The thing about it now is I feel like Conor could lose the next one,
and it's not as damaging to him as losing two in a row.
It's nowhere near, especially as you can kind of explain the first one away
with how quick the fights were taken and training caps or whatever.
I was really excited.
I love the fight.
The fight was amazing.
Like you, I wish there was a finish,
but I finished that fight liking both fighters more than before.
I didn't know Conor had that kind of heart.
Conor kept winning all these fights, first round, second round, knockouts,
never really getting tested.
He'd fight a lot.
I love that connor was fighting
i want to get my numbers wrong but like three maybe even four times in a year and that can
happen when you win fights in like 13 seconds and don't take any damage here's a fight my hands a
little sore it was otherwise brutal it was grueling like this is like a nearly a mcdonald
lawler type drag out awful.
Like just there were times in there I would have quit six times during that fight.
It was just like, you know what?
Change my mind.
I'm not really mad at you.
I'm done.
Nate Diaz is like the Terminator.
Nate Diaz is exactly like the Terminator.
His skin's gone. The first two rounds, Connor put so many hard, unchecked leg kicks on Nate's thigh and knee and shin that I didn't think, I thought that was it.
I was like, Nate is going to be crippled by round three.
And by round four, Connor is going to keep making, like, come on, come over here and fight.
Nate's going to stumble over there and not be able to plan his weight. And Connoror is going to like keep making, like, come on, come over here and fight. Nate's going to stumble over there
and not be able to plan his way
and Conor's just going to destroy him.
That's how I saw things going.
But somehow in round three,
it was like someone came over
and like hit Nate in the leg
with like eight quarter zone shots real quick
when nobody was looking
because he forgot all about the fact
that he's crippled
and started walking forward no matter what.
And Conor would throw a one, two, three combo, and it would nail him, and blood would fly,
and he would keep coming. And Connor can't throw those all night. Connor is tired of using this
man like a punching bag, the man who outweighs him by quite a bit. He doesn't have quite enough
dynamite in that left to take Nate out with a straight. He just doesn't.
So he keeps throwing these straights into him, all these jabs into his face.
His nose is busted.
The scar tissue around his eyes is leaking.
The blood looks like it's going to blind him by round four, but somehow he keeps coming.
He's blind.
He's crippled, but he keeps coming.
That was so impressive.
Those leg kicks.
And what's more, he wants to go to the ground.
Now he wants to get on the ground with
connor and connor is fighting off these these takedown attempts in a way that i didn't think
he could better than than i've almost than i've ever seen i don't know much about that but it
looked very impressive that he kept keeps pushing him down he must have been drilling that you know
again and again nate doesn't have great takedowns he kind of depends on you to take him down
exhausted yeah or he does it against the cage
and just kind of hopes they both fall to the ground.
Where Nate is so good,
he doesn't even mind being on the bottom that much.
He's like, just so long as we're on the ground,
I'll take what I can get.
And Connor just, you know,
there was this guy, Robin something or other,
Robin Black maybe,
who's doing a breakdown for another fight.
Every time he looked at the ground,
he's like, hot lava, hot lava, lava don't touch the ground you know that game
you play with a kid where you go from like couch to table the floor is lava conor mcgregor was
playing floor is lava he wanted nothing to do with it he'd knock the guy down and then rather
than follow up he's like no you can't fool me fuck you you're on the ground i can tell let's
stand up oh yeah it makes sense though because during those knockdowns, he's crippled.
He's crippled.
I still, even after I've watched the fight twice now from beginning to end,
I still don't know what happened between rounds two and three that somehow made Nate's leg not hurt anymore.
Dude, the end of round two, Nate came back.
So on Twitter, I thought Nate won round two.
I was wrong.
I watched it again.
Connor won round two.
It's clear.
Connor won three and a half minutes of that thing and knocked him down twice.
Nate won the last 90 seconds.
Nate finished him up.
And at the end of it, Goldie, Goldberg, whatever, he's like, all right, it's tied up one to one.
That influenced me heavily because I thought that like after hearing that and after
watching the last 90 seconds he yeah a minute and a half like it wasn't like just a 10 seconds where
you got to flirt no no yeah i remember being afraid i remember being like whoa whoa whoa
yeah no no no because because connor had his hands here he had his hands at shoulder level
and he was just kind of like doing this a little bit and nate is just
throwing and it's just like your arms need to be eight inches higher what are you doing and he's
moving his head a lot but there's it's like bullets it's like in the matrix when like bullets are
whizzing right past the guy's head and you're like wow neo if you weren't just a little bit uh slower
you'd be dead right there and that's how connor was for like 90 seconds of the end of the
last 90 seconds so well that i gave the round to him it's a good thing i'm not a judge because
after watching it again like clearly you know 90 seconds doesn't over done like overcome three and
a half minutes especially when there's two knockdowns in the round but uh he made me
forget all about it he got in that round i thought could have ended it, but it wasn't until afterward and I kind of understood more about Diaz
and what he does by luring people into the ground
that I understood why Connor shit-rocked him
and then just let him lay there.
And Diaz does that upside-down turtle thing
where he kind of just paws at you.
It goes like that.
I really liked McGregor being like,
no, you can go ahead and eat shit.
I'm going to stand up and wait for you
oh wait where's your closest
eight friends I don't see them
oh no who's going to help you out
oh man 1v1 it's real tough
isn't it
dude so I don't
like this Stockton thing
is not a show
they really feel like I roll with so
many hard niggas.
I think I said that right.
No one can mess with us. And they're throwing
water bottles. My team against your
team. They live in a fucking fantasy world
where that matters. Right?
And Connor,
what I love about Connor,
dude, if Nate Diaz
and his friends said they were going to
kick my ass,
I would try and think of something funny or charming.
I would consider myself in a lot of hot water because they would do it.
He's like, go do nothing.
Yeah, he's like, go do nothing.
You'll do nothing.
You'll do nothing.
Nate's throwing water bottles.
Connor's throwing back Monster Energy cans.
Fuck you.
How do you think Monster feels about that?
They're like, yeah. I bet they love it. I can beat him with one and get it in slow-mo!
Hit a kid, hit a kid!
Yeah, I love...
Dude, I watched a compilation today
of Conor telling people,
you'll do fucking nothing!
You'll do fucking nothing! Right?
He told it to Cody Gambrandt,
he told it to, um,ret gambret he told it to um uh of course uh nate
diaz and um i'm missing another one i've forgotten but yeah he just people are like fuck you and he's
like you'll do nothing what you gonna do you'll do fucking nothing yeah yeah and in every case
they did fucking nothing you know it's like oh yeah mystic mac he predicts these things
they both showed so much i i really like that fight i i
still don't understand how net i understand if they stood at the end that that connor just didn't
have a lot of gas left in the tank and he's a smaller guy so yeah those punches that connor
are throwing just don't have enough power behind them but for the first whatever nine minutes eight
and a half minutes of that thing, he had plenty of power.
And he was hitting him so fucking hard and so accurately.
And it looked like that Means fight.
What's the guy?
There was a fight earlier in the night.
Means picked that guy apart like a fucking science experiment.
I felt like Means was a white dude like like really like normal
looking i don't know how how else to say it but his opponent was making his ufc debut and um and
he fucking destroyed that guy he fucking hurt that guy it was uh it was a very impressive and
accurate showing and if like to me just watching him for the first time, I was like, wow, I want to see this guy fight more people.
This guy's incredibly accurate and powerful and looks clean.
Like, his technique looked really good.
I felt bad for the guy he was beating up.
Yeah, he was like, he was a taller, lankier guy with, like, not tall and lanky, but tall and lanky compared to his opponent.
Because he was one of those guys who's, like, in the lower weight class, even though he's this size. I thought it was more that his
opponent was this smaller guy
who was this fucking... He was
short, but really strong.
It's hard to tell how tall
they are when nobody's near them. I like seeing those
body types against one another. I always have to see when Joe Rogan
comes in, and sometimes Joe Rogan is
taller than the fighters, and it's like, that is a
tiny little man right there, and I had
no idea. Dude,ate diaz i i go back and forth with how much i like nate diaz sometimes i'm like why does
everyone like him he can't speak very well he's not entertaining he doesn't win as much he's
delusional and then i saw him fight huge fan by the end of that five rounds even though he lost a
ton of respect for just how much heart both of them showed. Since
the fight, what the fuck, Nate?
Like, he's pretending he won.
What did he do? Ah, he tells people
he won rounds 2, 3, 4, and
5. That he smashed it. That the
fight was fixed. That the UFC
didn't want him to be the champ.
He looks like he should be alive.
He had a bad training camp. Oh, my rib
was hurt. My that was hurt. Something else was hurt training camp oh my rib was hurt my that was hurt something else
was hurt as soon as they unwire my mouth i'm gonna explain why i lost with this fight it's all
it's just bureaucracy nurse please come back like no no you got sheetrocked even like just standing
like i'm a layman with the sport but when i see the the little close-ups after of the guy kind of sitting there,
and they're like, all right, you're good, you're good, and they're putting Vaseline on him.
Connor was sitting there looking like, oh, oh, exhausted from having beat another man so hard.
He'd beaten a man to the point that he was exhausted.
Then you go over to Nate Diaz, and it's like, all right, your left eye, mostly there, buddy, mostly still there.
Only a little bit. We're going to pick the rest of that up,
get it put back on. It was so
apparent. Who's got the eye?
Dia's injured
far more grievously. I've always thought
MMA fans were a little rough on people
making excuses, right? They'll
come in and they'll be like, yeah, you know what?
I fought, didn't have my best fight, broke my arm
before the fight, so I was fighting to one
armed. Yeah, I think the best version of me might have done better. And I hear that and I fought, didn't have my best fight, broke my arm before the fight, so I was fighting one-armed. Yeah, I think the best version of me might have done better.
And I hear that and I think, oh, you know, all right, I'll cut you some slack.
But afterwards, act like they won every fucking fight.
And he and his brother are just mirror images of each other.
And his brother thinks he beat GSP.
He's saying Nate Diaz fought this guy named,
I think it was Rick Story, I hope I have that right,
the guy that knocked him out with the head kick.
And names aren't my thing.
Anyway, Nate Diaz got the shit kicked out of him, right?
And at the end of it, at the end of the fight,
he got knocked out, it's Nate Diaz's only knockout.
The guy kicked him with his shin so hard
that his shin still has a dent in it to this day.
Nick Diaz, his brother, threw
in the towel, right? But as
he was throwing in the towel, the ref was
stopping the fight. And Nate
still thinks everyone was
wrong and that he was about to win
because he's a fucking idiot.
And he can't admit that he's ever
lost a fight. And he's doing
it again with Conor.
Taylor's right, though.
You hit the nail on the head with a hammer there.
Conor is fucking exhausted from beating a man.
He's been hitting this guy like a heavy bag.
He's like, I normally don't do five rounds with a heavy bag.
This is a little unusual for me.
My cardio isn't to that level.
I don't do 25 minutes in a sprint on a fucking
even the heavy bags fall off the chain at this point yeah every now and eventually they just
come off but but this guy just keeps getting back up and limping forward it was impressive
and i i will say this if that fight went we just kept going indefinitely i think nate wins
i i think yeah i think by around 8, or 9, Nate is like,
come here!
Crawling across the floor.
His legs are just stumps behind him.
Two things, though. One,
Nate has scar tissue
on his face, so
he just takes damage a little quicker.
Two, that's a silly way to judge
a fight. I know you're being silly, but
Connor might have conserved more energy
if he knew the fight didn't end in 25 minutes.
Like, to say, like, oh, if they kept going, Nate would have won.
Eh, if there was no end, Conor would have conserved his energy.
He knew where the end was and timed his energy output appropriately.
Oh, I disagree with that.
I think he thought the end was round three at the latest.
He's never even been to round four so i got around four he's never been to round four before before last night or
before 202 so like i doubt he's like planning on going to rounds four or five and like it felt like
he was out of gas in rounds four and five like remember he's like jogging around the ring and
and nate's pointing him out like
look at him look at him he's running connor had enough connor beat nate in round four
and in the first championship round but not the second he lost round five um i'm just saying like
there's a time if nate had so much left that he could have won round eight and nine then he should
have spent more effort in the first five rounds you know i think
that nate can just keep going he just seemed like it it just seemed like nate is impressive that way
i hear he had more cardio than than connor did it no matter how because i mean they're both
exerting themselves to a ridiculous amount the whole time and in the end it just seemed like
nate had more left in the tank than Connor did.
Just based on him running from Nate.
I don't blame him.
What if it was a different sport?
What if it was basketball?
And you were like, you know what?
If we played for two hours, my team would have beat you.
Well, it's not basketball, though.
That's very different.
Football.
All you guys would have tuckered out taylor are you saying things you're quiet no your mic's not working at all
yeah i think you did or something but um connor connor did a really good job i thought he was
very accurate um and it's fun to watch someone be accurate. You can almost see, like, arcade-style points popping up
as it's just like boom, boom, boom.
And, you know, he's working those leg kicks so well.
And Nate didn't check very many of them.
He checked maybe three all night,
and Connor must have thrown a dozen, 15, something like that.
And I've never been hit with one full blast i've been painful i've
been kicked by like students and i've certainly i've definitely held the bag for people who could
kick and felt the impact and i know that's a real wind up and give it to them kind of kick and you're
not getting those every time from connor but still those are serious business though those are so like a baseball bat
it's comparable to being hit with a baseball bat yeah a pro fighter shin and a baseball bat are
pretty close and and just think about how many you could take i didn't understand why he didn't
check those i talked to one of my friends who's really into mma and he's like yeah that's just
the diaz brothers like they don't check leg kits. It's kind of like
one of their things to show how hardcore they are.
And I was just like, I don't
know if that's true or not, but I was just like,
what? That's like, man, this is
Dominic Hasek. He's the best goalie
in the NHL. Catch is,
this guy doesn't use a stick.
What? Why not?
He says, yeah, it would help me be better, but he says
fuck it, man man he's good enough
it's like what why would you not do something that every other fighter's doing clearly you're
on the wrong side of history on this one check the kicks block it because it doesn't help i
liked seeing nate diaz because i don't like his attitude i was rooting against him the whole time
but i liked every time connor just popped him and he went down hard and then he like obviously was
favoring one leg and he had to do like the hop-up thing like he's still billy badass and he went down hard and then he like obviously was favoring one leg and he had to
do like the hop-up thing like he's still billy badass and he hops up and he's like oh yeah well
fuck you man like as he's clearly like a little delirious and his leg hurts it's like dude why
why are you trying to put on this board nobody's buying it he's so tough he's like fighting through
the pain i i it's something that doesn't make any sense to
me because i if i'm connor though then i would lose all hope i i there's no way like by round
three four after just pounding this guy that much and seeing the blood loss and everything i'd be
like i can't i can't hit him any harder like i gave him my best shots already everything from
here is a lesser version of me i'm'm not... I got... What am I
going to do? But you're hitting a lesser
version of him every time because you're chiseling
away. The Diaz brothers train with
boxers. That's why they're heavy on that front.
When you're heavy on your front foot, you can't check the leg very
well. And they feel like
it makes their hands better.
And their hands are very good.
Heck, he knocked out effectively
Conor last time.
It was his hands that put Conor on the ground.
So that's the scoop.
The Diaz brothers train with top, like, you know, number seven,
number top ten guys on the planet in boxing.
And they've adopted a boxing style, and it's vulnerable to leg kicks.
But maybe it makes their hands better.
There was no post-fight press conference. What the fuck was that about? It was weird. hands better there was no post fight press conference what the fuck was
that about it was weird yeah no there was um i watched it but they all did it separately
like it was like one by one interviews normally they take all the winners was it was it on your
pay-per-view broadcast because it wasn't on mine just ends uh right it's not on the pay-per-view
or our cast it's's on YouTube afterwards.
Ah, okay.
Then that's my problem.
Yeah.
And normally everyone sits at a table and they interview all the fighters.
The fighters of interest, which is most of the winners and a couple of the big losers.
And this time they all interviewed individually.
That's lame.
I think it was too. I like when they're all up there because you get to see them all
and it's
sometimes it's telling to see
McGregor and Diaz sitting next to each other
or at least in the same fucking room
so these maniacs don't do something stupid
yeah
like Jesus the fight's over
you got 3 million and you got
probably 1.8 or something ridiculous
like let's calm down and do a press conference
you fucking assholes dude dude if i was oh i'm sorry if i was mcgregor i'd walk around
with a five gallon water cooler even if it's empty just bring that shit around like like to act like
you're ready for battle yeah like i'm fucking ready for your whole team this time. Would you be honestly surprised if Diaz's
crew started, you know,
next time at a weigh-in, like, six
of them ran up with sharpened toothbrushes and started
stabbing McGregor? Like, would it be
like, it would be dreadful, but would it be surprising?
Because those guys seem like that kind of group.
Like, there's no reason for
I don't get the reason why a
pro fighter would walk around with a huge
crew. Like, if anything, it speaks to not being that confident.
It's like, yeah, I'm pretty badass.
Just look at all these guys with me to show you how confident I am.
It's crazy how they are in a group, right?
Because if you hear Jake Shields, as he's part of his crew, interviewed individually,
the guy's intelligent, he's articulate, he's great.
Gilbert Melendez, he's literally a Fox News announcer, right? He kind of hops on
the mic, and he gives the
analysis of fights we just saw or
about to see, and then you put them
next to the Diaz brothers, and all
of a sudden, they're fucking starring in
Oz, and they're just
fighting, jumping, and throwing
bottles and shit, and flipping the bird,
and I'm just like, what happened?
Why are you so crazy?
That's what they do.
Good fight, though. I thought it was very entertaining.
Fight of the year candidate.
I was very excited.
We got a little more to go.
I want to see...
Joe fights in a week.
Oh, who's he fighting?
Jim Miller again.
I don't know. That was the one where Joe got cut on the forehead in the first Joe fights in a week. Oh, who's he fighting? Jim Miller again. Yeah, so do you remember?
I don't know.
That was the one where Joe got cut on the forehead in the first round,
bled like crazy.
Next two rounds were pretty much tied.
He lost first round.
Next two rounds were pretty much tied.
And that's not just me.
The judges actually disagreed on who won rounds two and three.
But they all agreed Joe lost round one, so Jim Miller got the decision got the decision fight of the year fight of the night fight of the everything and they're
running it back again so here we go joe's coming off let's go joe a huge win he beat diego sanchez
diego like diaz is one of those guys that just never gets knocked out takes a ton of damage
but um somehow like every punch
joe threw landed on the button and yeah i hate to uh i hate to jinx it but if i feel like if joe
wins this fight i don't know he goes up a little uh he's bumped up in the world of fighters just a
little bit i feel i feel like he goes to like a different level like like like a whole nother
step above where he is right now
as far as maybe his rankings or how he's regarded,
especially beating someone who beat him five fights ago or something.
And in that period of time, he's won like four out of five or something.
Yeah, he'll get a chance to run it back.
Yeah, so, God, I always get nervous for Joe's fights.
Yeah, of course, big pressure fight.
Yeah, they're all big pressure fights. get nervous for Joe's fights. Yeah, of course. Big pressure fight. Yeah.
They're all big pressure fights.
They're all big pressure fights.
Dude, fighting is such a hard living.
Oh, yeah.
I said that the other night.
I was like, I would not want this fucking job.
Look at that guy.
Look at that guy.
He doesn't want to be out there.
Why is he out there?
I am so emotionally invested in Joe's fights.
I sit there.
When he fought Diego, I was like, can I help him somehow?
No, no, I think I'd just
be more trouble than I'm worth.
I think he's better at a 1v1 than a 2v1.
Let me put you in a little scenario here.
You are the hot dog stand
guy at the event.
Jim Miller
needs a quick bite before the fight.
He comes by your hot dog stand. He says,
hey, give me two chili dogs. I'll be right he walks away puts his five dollars down you have a moment there to do
something to jim miller's hot dogs you you could give jim miller food poisoning right now do you
do you wipe a little bit of poop on jim miller's hot dog yes yes actually so one yes joe i'll give you the hookup i'm on your side two my original idea
was x lax in the chili dog but i think somehow that hurts joe i think i'd fuck it up like thanks
woody not my opponent's shit on me glad you can help with that he's like toby on uh on uh the
office he's like oh i'm so regular. Normally,
I feel like I got a big load of shit before the fight.
I'm going to constipate from cutting weight,
but man, I feel so lightweight today.
Oh, I passed.
Yeah, you give him food poisoning.
I think I would do that. And I wouldn't tell anybody.
I wouldn't want anyone else to know, but
if I could give Joe that little
bit of... I guess I'd put
my finger in my butthole, get a little poop,
and put that on the hot dog.
You've got to come up with some food poisoning in a pinch.
I guess that's where you go.
I hear you.
I'm not sure my poop is really potent enough to...
It's like rattlesnake venom.
Just a little bit will get you.
Huh.
Well, who knew?
I mean, that's what food poisoning is most of the time from what I understand.
You know, it's obviously if you get salmonella, that's a whole other animal.
But a lot of the times it's just like human or animal feces that's gotten into your food that gives you that food poisoning that lasts for like a day and a half where you're shitting and vomiting and it's just obnoxious and awful.
That's usually someone who like didn't wash their hands and their poop got in your food.
I always thought it was...
So if anyone gets a little poisoning...
Yeah, I always thought it was food that was left out.
It was typically improperly stored somewhere in its life cycle between creation and us.
That's definitely one way you can get food poisoning.
I know salmonella is when it's chicken. creation in us. Definitely one way you can get food poisoned.
I know salmonella is when it's chicken. I've definitely
gotten it. I've gotten it so many times.
There was a year where I got it
three times in the fall.
I remember getting it in Seattle,
getting it in Boston, and getting
it twice here at home
from the same place.
I'll never go to Sonic again
because I got food poisoning twice there in one month. like at home uh from the same place you would i'll never go to sonic again um because i can't
be poisoning twice there in one month there's uh interesting stuff in the minecraft world
right now i thought it was kind of i saw something about mojang's youtube channel is it related to
that i that did happen also so mojang's youtube channel is back now but it got copyright claim
for a night um i don't know what the scoop
was. They don't even know who did it, but it took them a night to get their channel back up.
Mojang's tweeting pictures of their gold play button in the trash can and shit like that.
I thought that was funny, but that's it. So there's another server called Arkham Network.
It's a real big popular server. One of the top three in the world, top five in
the world for sure.
So pay to win is by far the most profitable model in Minecraft.
People are more likely to buy stuff when it helps them play in game.
Players tend to revolt against that, but those are players who don't pay anything, so whatever.
They're trying to make money.
Well, Mojang made anything that can help you in-game not okay to sell.
They've had that idea for a while, but they only started enforcing it six months ago or
something like that.
A lot of servers had to kind of clean up their store.
I know WoodyCraft has shut off its store
and stopped selling things that help you in-game.
Now you can only have, like, I don't know,
hats and fucking animals that follow you.
You can leave a trail of rainbow sprinkles
when you walk or something.
Yeah, right?
So less people buy that, you know,
as opposed to like, like oh here's a sword
that will fuck people's shit up like yeah of course so um arkham network switched back to
their old store mojang blacklisted them so you can't get to their stuff they have that workaround
they're giving away free ranks to people that download their special installer which will get around Mojang's
blacklist and someone is really going toe-to-toe with their dukes up like fuck you Mojang what's
going on here somebody's got a big fucking bank account and they just don't give a fuck
that's great yes that's great somebody's standing up for the little man and saying fuck you Mojang
you made the game but you
don't own it forever and ever and ever.
And they're doing their own thing. I like
this. I like this a lot. Yeah.
I'm following it just very
intently. So the launcher, what
happens is the launcher is
how they blacklist servers.
If you've joined Minecraft you see you add
a little server to your list and it says this many
players are on it and this is what it's called.
They're writing their own launcher, but why would you want to use a launcher that Arkham wrote?
Well, they give you a free rank.
So every day you get, I'm making it up, but swords and armor and shit like that.
Not only do they give you a free rank, but now you get to exist once more in an ecosystem
that allows you to purchase things and play play the pay-to-win landscape,
which is what people enjoy. It's fun.
It's addictive. It's great.
This is really
cool. I'm glad somebody did this.
So the launcher was the only thing holding them back.
Well, Mojang says in their next
game update, they're going to fuck
up custom launchers or something.
So now there's this war going
back and forth.
It's not like we're writing in some sort of language no one's ever ever heard of
before let me ask you this because I don't know anything about it how difficult how time-consuming
and or expensive was it for them to create this launcher I suspect it was pretty straightforward
I suspect they just decompiled it like you know what would you know would be smart if if whoever created that launcher
made it made a bunch of them said hey anybody else want one of these they're free whoever you know
woody craft you want one sure get back in business yeah to everyone let your players on it because
if all the woody craft players can suddenly also use arkham like that's a win-win for everyone. But the thing is, it's not legal. So Mojang wrote
this launcher, and then Arkham, I would assume,
I could be off on this, decompiled it, made a quick change, and then sent
out a copy. You can't do that. When Mojang wrote that
launcher, it wasn't open source. It's not like anyone can just take your code,
change it, and redistribute it for free so does the illegal part come into play
when they decompile it and and literally rip off their their work or does it come
especially yeah so let me ask you this if they started from scratch and did
their own thing and just created their own launcher without any sort of you
know right without any knowledge of using you know, without any knowledge of what they're doing.
Without using their intellectual property.
Without using theirs, yeah.
Would that be legal?
Because it seems like, you know, their intent, no matter how you skin the cat,
is to fuck over Mojang and what Mojang wants, right, with their intellectual property.
So it seems like no matter how you go about doing it, you're kind of doing something bad.
Yeah, when it gets to if they started from scratch,
would it be okay?
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
That's where it gets past.
And then again, by okay.
Who stole code?
Just real quick.
Yeah, so here's a catch up.
There's a Minecraft server called Arkham Network.
When Mojang made it so you couldn't do pay to win,
they tried living in Mojang's rules,
discovered there really wasn't
enough money to be made there and went back Mojang has the ability to blacklist it so people can't
join their server anymore and now they wrote a custom launcher which is like the mechanism they
use in the blacklist so that Mojang can't blacklist them anymore and they're giving away like free
things on their server if you switch from Mojang's launcher to arkham's and i thought it was really interesting to like someone's going toe-to-toe
someone's like this is my golden goose and it is not dying easily we're going to keep this thing
going as long as we can and we'll see yeah i watch all this stuff and it kind of reaffirms my decision
to get out of the business.
I'm like, yeah, they're blacklisting people.
There's fights.
There's this.
There's that.
We had declining player counts anyway.
Like, keep all your nonsense.
I'm done.
Yeah, you're jumping out of that train car right before it pulls into the station with two big bags of loot.
You're not waiting for the police.
These guys are trying to scrounge up more coins before the the officers run in the constable yeah and and you know they're gonna get fucked for it
exactly yeah on their dress like the hamburglar like i'm gonna
you're the guy like in the movie where like they arrest the guy that you didn't like on the train
and you walk by on the the platform and you see him on the ground he's like
like his head down and you're just walking by you platform and you see him on the ground he's like like his head
down and you're just walking by you know nice clothes you got a big bag of money
that's what i'm imagining probably not accurate yeah i like it though yeah yeah so i don't know
how it's gonna work out for him but i'm watching i'm like wow, this got really interesting lately. So we'll see.
Arkham's blacklisted.
There's a SRV hack they're doing now.
Anyway, they're going back and forth.
They're fighting.
We'll see.
I think I'm going to make a gaming video this weekend.
You want to play some Company of Heroes or something, Taylor?
Make a video?
Sure.
Yeah. I found my
email
reset information
for my gaming channel, so I got
all that squared away.
I don't know what I want to do. This is FPS?
Maybe. Yeah, yeah.
I didn't realize you lost the...
I'm always losing stuff like that.
Yeah.
I should do that. You're absolutely right. Kitty and I were discussing something like that gotta go last pass I should do that
you're absolutely right
Kitty and I were discussing something like that just today
she's the one who had to help me find it
but yeah I don't know
we could do Company of Heroes or we could do Civ
or we could do maybe some kind of a game
where I think that game
where it's like keep talking
and nobody explodes
that bomb defusal game I think that that where it's like keep talking and nobody explodes,
that bomb defusal game,
I think that that's of a nature that you could have it on your computer and walk me through the bomb defusal, and I would be in VR.
So actually defusing the bomb and doing stuff.
So that might be interesting.
I think that game is only $8.
I'm down for trying Civ this weekend.
So I will give it a go hopefully i have
i enjoy it and have fun i just my request for the first game is that i want it to be whatever the
shortest format is because just like every game i guarantee like if we play like a long like seven
hour game i guarantee i'm gonna get into the like four hours in i'll be like okay well now that i
know this shit if i were to go back i'd'd play it totally differently. So I don't want to get
caught two and a half hours into a
game where I'm already fucked beyond belief
when I'd rather just play a three hour game, maybe
realize all my mistakes, and then
start another one. Play the same team, Taylor.
You just play the same team with Kyle and see how
he likes to start.
The thought process that he makes as you
guys build stuff together.
Okay, I'll do'll do yeah that's a
better idea i'd rather i'd probably rather not play against you right in the first one because
you're gonna be telling me what to do and you're gonna be like oh yeah invest in lima beans you
know that's where you get your economy going while you're building archers you build your
jolly green giant and your sprout they're gonna come in handy in the later rounds and i'm building
catapults and stuff i
played today i played uh for i guess four hours today and just played single player um and got a
got a game in i needed to refresh myself on everything that is that game i think i'm good
to go now what do you play as like what civ what civilization do you play as so the best civ is
poland um uh and then korea is good and there's two or three others that I like that are good.
Japan's pretty fun, depending.
There are some that are more situational,
and there are some that are more all-around good,
and there are some that are very specific
and skewed toward a very certain play style
or a certain goal that you're trying to achieve in the game.
But honestly, now I play on random
because it's not fair to let me pick
because I'm just
gonna pick poland every time and they're a bit unfair what's poland's advantage what do they do
well you get an extra of social policy um every era which over the course of the game accrues to a
a big advantage it's a lot of social policy i mean just a quick like an example of one i guess you
earn you earn culture points.
It's just like you earn gold and a number of other things throughout the game.
And the amount of culture you get per turn is dependent on buildings you've built and other factors.
But you use this culture, once it's accrued, to unlock cultural policies for your civilization.
Things like...
I can't think of one specifically basically one of them will like help you
build monuments fast or help you build great wonders faster each one of them is
like a bonus for your civilization okay so it's kind of like all right so you
get a cultural so now this culture enjoys you know building legacies for
themselves through monuments more and so they do that a little faster now this culture enjoys building legacies for themselves through monuments more,
and so they can do that a little faster.
Now this culture appreciates health care a little more.
Yeah, and you select lots of them, and one of them is tradition, one of them is liberty,
and so you unlock the tenets of the cultural policy of liberty,
and it gives you certain advantages based on whether you want a
cult the traditional culture culture tree is more for one or two or three
city empire like a like you're building tall rather than wide so two or three
really powerful cities and then the Liberty tree is more skewed toward going
wide so it has bonuses like every city gets three percent more production and that doesn't mean
anything if you've only got one city but if you got 30 cities and all of a sudden 30 cities get
big um so can you get bad cultural things like if it's just like uh oh god damn it took a role
and now we're a culture of female genital mutilation no it'll never be a negative. But sometimes it'll be such a poor choice that it kind of serves as a negative
because the other guy will pick a good one that will be advantageous to him right here and now,
and you'll pick one that just doesn't fucking help you very much.
Some of them are just better than others.
I don't know how we got to talking about the culture stuff.
I was just asking about it because you said that Poland was overpowered,
and you're explaining why.
So Korea is the one you recommend if I want to actually learn not with a cheap,
quote-unquote, a cheap civilization, as I'm sure all the kids call it.
Off the top of my head, maybe.
Greece.
Poland would be good, too.
Poland's really balanced because they kind of have that.
Their bonus is sort of an involuntary thing. It's in the
background. It just happens.
You don't have to take advantage of it really.
I don't want to learn on like a
Civ that everybody understands
is like so easy that it isn't
even that like it's pointless learning.
You know like if I learn on Civ 5
on Poland and then I try
Civ 6. Wait are we playing Civ 5 on Poland and then I try Civ VI...
Wait, are we playing Civ V or Civ VI?
You might be overestimating how unbalanced it is.
I mean, Poland's not an automatic win or anything.
I think it's Greece or Rome
because if you play wide,
which means lots of cities,
then you don't fall into the happiness hole
quite as easily.
You usually play Romeome and they are
pretty good um the happiness thing is something that that you never quite perfected but there
are definitely ways to like that's not a concern i never go unhappy anymore like you've just got to
like keep that in mind yeah it's gotta be aggressive civilization that like like the mongols or something where it's all
about like the zulu are yeah yeah the zulu or gangas or uh or gangas khan uh one of those who
gets hot lights that's the greeks and that's what i was about to say the greeks are very scary to
deal with uh their their early military is uh really powerful and they he's it's alexander
the great so all the city
states love him because he just like
stands over there and does his Gaston
pose and like blows
kisses and they're like oh
and so city state relationships
are important in the game city states
are like these one it's
this independent city state
out there in the world and
they have a relationship bar with you,
where they either hate your guts or they love you and are endeared toward you,
and you've got to bribe, beg, steal, and, you know, to curry favor with them,
and it's just much easier for Alexander to do that.
That's the gameplay that Chiz plays.
Chiz plays like a fucking Jew.
Who does he play as?
The Jewish?
No, no. Oh, if Israel were in there fucking Jew. Who does he play as? The Jewish? No, no.
Oh, if Israel were in there, that's who I'd play as.
I'd definitely play as Israel,
get my endless supply of nukes from the United States.
So like every other method of playing,
when you're going for like a technological or domination victory or whatever,
it's real kind of upfront.
Like you can see Kyle is trying to achieve this.
And then the other one is a sneaky spy,
like slip money to people and win an election.
Like it through like through,
through means that Hillary would be embarrassed by.
And that's Chiz's style every fucking time.
Chiz beat me.
Like Chiz will tell you that that on the marker board or wherever,
he's way ahead, and he probably is
because there was this period of time where Chiz
just beat me every night,
and I wasn't figuring it
out. I was just
like, and honestly, I was just stubborn.
What he does is he makes friends with all the city
states, and then they form a world
government about three quarters of the way
through the game, maybe six tenths of the way through the game something like that and he curries favor with
with enough people that when he votes they vote with him and when he's got enough votes he just
elects himself leader of earth and everybody says okay and it just announces to you his enemy that
the game is fucking over.
We all voted.
We decided you were a bitch
and that Chiz was the winner
and it's game over.
And meanwhile, I'm over here with this big army
that I've invested time and effort
and I really tried hard to form it perfectly and efficiently
and it's marching on planet Chiz, you know,
step by step, this army of doom.
And then it just says, hey, Kyle, you lost.
That sounds like the least fun way to win a game.
It's the least fun way to lose a game.
Are you tricking AI?
No, no, it's a legitimate strategy.
No, I believe you, but he's getting AI city-states to ally with him, right?
And so basically he is just fooling a bunch of idiot computer AI
by giving them beans or rice or whatever.
Let me lay this out there.
He has a strong enough economy to buy favor with the AI,
and he wins via election.
So it's not like he's not doing anything right.
He has to have an economy good enough to bribe these city-states.
And if Kyle was more hip to that aspect of the game at the time,
he might have tried bribing them and did a little block-bat punt.
I think it's a real strategy.
I'm just saying I don't want to play a game about conquering the world
unless there's an actual kind of conquering.
I don't want this to be eight hours of making shrewd business deals
with an AI partner. Like, oh, goddammit, Churchill, you are a shrewd business deals with an AI partner.
Like, oh, goddammit, Churchill.
You are a shrewd bastard, but I will give you your gold bars.
You can win by military victory, which is the one I think you're most interested in at this point.
You can win by technological victory, where you get your civilization to inhabit another planet.
You can win by cultural victory, where your people are so happy and you've got so many monuments and shit like that that that happy was the wrong term to
use but you know you have so many cultural points you win and then you can win by influence the rest
the work the rest of the world is basically influenced by your powerful culture everybody's
wearing your blue jeans and listening to your music so in effect you conquered them culturally
and then the last one is this uh election thing. What is it called again?
A diplomatic victory.
A diplomatic victory.
And that is the one that for some reason we all agree.
And I agree too.
It is kind of the bitchiest.
It's less in your face.
It's a surprise loss.
You're like, oh, really?
It's very frustrating.
Yeah.
And then the other thing is because he's allied with these like 20 city states who are like these island nations all
around the globe that nobody really bothers you just want to trade with them and be partners with
them for the most part all of a sudden when he declares war on you all of them declare war on
you and it's not like they send their armies to you efficiently in an order they don't at all
but they just create these paths of resistance, these
bubbles of resistance throughout the world
that you're like, oh shit.
Well let's just go around all that.
I don't even want to go through that bullshit.
That guy built 15 pirate ships.
He built 15 pirate ships
for no goddamn reason because he was just on an
island and he couldn't build anything else.
If he built a soldier he'd just fall into the water.
So he just got like a big pot of pirate ships and you're just like fuck i can't get the chis in time
because there's 15 goddamn pirate ships that he's allied with because he had an extra grand to
that doesn't sound like a fun way to play at all because then you're just basically using ai as a
fake that's like when we would play age of mythology and we'd have like an ai ally sometimes
they'd be like you could put their demeanor to random,
and sometimes they would be defensive.
And they take defensive to the fucking extreme in the AI in Age of Mythology
because, like, if we ever were in trouble,
because me and Kyle would play, like, 3v5 or whatever,
and they marched in and they really fucked with my base or something,
if they just go a little bit over to the ally's base late game,
every unit that that ally has made all game is right there it's right there they didn't they got just giants and soldiers just hanging out and so when they walk over like they've been defeated
a bit by me and then that ai turns around and through no genius of its own just waltzes over
just beats the shit out of the remaining units like that then as the person attacking, you're a real person.
This is bullshit. Any real person would have
moved these units. They wouldn't have built
all this and just left it here to rot.
And so it's aggravating in its own way, because it's
like, a real person would never play like that,
and so it lessens the actual
victory, I think. I hear you keep saying that, but
I feel like you have to remember that
part of this game is destroying
your enemy's beautiful sandcastle.
And if you fuck it up in a way that especially discourages him and really makes him sad, that's much better.
There's an aspect in the game called pillaging, and some units do it better than others.
And because it's turn-based, you've got to think of each unit almost like a pawn or a rook.
They have different movement abilities,
how many movements they can make at once,
and through different terrain,
you move through differently.
Hills, rivers, and forests slow you down.
You can move fewer moves through that kind of terrain.
But some units are able to go in, attack,
and then retreat a little bit.
The companion cavalry that the Greeks have is like that. It's wildly...
companion cavalry that the Greeks have is like that.
And it's wildly...
And then some...
Hmm.
It's like... Turned this grove of bananas
into an orchard of bananas.
And...
Moving upon it...
......
...
...
...
...
...
Hey guys.
I don't know if you know, but the thing is freezing.
I ran a ping here to see if maybe it was my network, because I'm having trouble with both of you at the same time.
But my network because I'm having trouble with both of you at the same time.
But my network is fine.
So I guess it's Skype.
And maybe I just got you back now?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, I got you.
Sorry about that.
I checked my network and it says it's great.
I don't know why that was happening.
So that sucks. Yeah, but it's a. I don't know why that was happening. So, that sucks.
Yeah, but it's a very fun game to play. There's lots of different ways to play it.
And the diplomat, we'll
probably disable that because I hate it so much.
But it is fun to always have
that scientific victory kind of in your
back pocket so that if he's built up
wall upon wall upon
wall of defense, or maybe there's three of
them allied against you and your
buddy you're like you know what let's sit back and build our spaceship and go to alpha centauri
and beat them that way it's nice to have those other routes to go in case the enemy just plays
as an asshole plus there's some neat graphics in the tech win like yeah dude the whole game the
graphics are like rooted in the 90s and then you know like what holy shit there's like
spaceships in this cgi yeah it's like holy cow like yeah they did a thing so yeah i will say
like oh um i was gonna throw this in there um i turned up the settings to max because i haven't
playing civ on my my new gaming pc or whatever uh since i got it it. And it's much nicer. Everything sparkles. Oh, and Chiz
ordered his gaming stuff.
It'll be here Thursday or
Friday, so we'll have it together that night.
So Chiz got himself an
upgraded 1080 graphics card
and some other stuff.
It's not full build. He's utilizing
his old PC. I think he just got a new GPU.
Maybe a new motherboard.
So yeah, it's going to be fun. Oh, and if you want to play Civ with us,
join the PKA Steam
group.
It's on Steam and all.
It's called PKA.
Yeah, I think it's just
PKA Steam group. It's one of the four
Steam groups that I'm a member of. And yeah, I think we're going to be
playing some this weekend. Probably Civ,
but maybe some other stuff.
Yeah, I'm down to play whatever.
Alright, PKN episode 106.
See ya.