Painkiller Already - PKN #111

Episode Date: October 6, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

We're live, PKN episode 111. Dude, it's cool that PKN has lasted longer than most podcasts. Yeah. It's cool. That's really true. That seems to be a trend for a lot of podcasts. I'm surprised the one over on my channel is still going. Jesus Christ.

I was thinking, like, maybe I'll do this for, like, six weeks or something and then give up. And then every week I'm like, now I kind of feel obligated to do it. Like, I'm like, I got it. plus you're making 111 episodes yeah like so many podcasts are like oh i made 10 episodes in a week but it didn't pan out it's like no shit you made 10 episodes in one week and you had nothing to talk about but all right so we were talking about uh the uh the debates that happened last night we all watched them I watched it from beginning to end. I think we all did. Dude, my wife, Hope, and I all got excited.

We had snacks. We had, like, Tostitos, like, nachos things. I had celery and peanut butter. And we had bingo cards. And, like, it was a whole thing. That sounds really fun. So I really enjoyed it. I didn't think that either candidate really shined.

Hillary did better than I thought she would. She looked good. Trump did worse than I thought he would do. He didn't do an effective job of anything, really. He basically rolled out his standard campaign speech as best he could while batting away

their attacks and her attacks. And I say they because I felt like the moderator was against them. Because the moderator was a bit of an inquisitor at times. I just felt that way, to be honest. You know, I'm being honest about how I felt Trump performed. And that's how I'm being honest about the moderator, too. I didn't think he was as fair to Trump. And I felt like when the crowd was like, yeah, when Trump said something, he's like, all right, I'm going to remind the crowd as he did at the beginning.

I didn't mention it the three prior times when you cheered for Hillary. But now that you've shown a little, you know, happiness for Trump, no more of that. I won't have it. Not a bit. The thing about the moderator being biased, I don't know. The thing about the moderator being biased, I don't know. They'll say things like, hey, race relations is a big issue in this country right now. And Trump went first and Hillary went second every time.

And people felt like that was somehow unfair. But that was, I don't know if you won or lost the coin flip, but those were the agreed upon rules in advance. And then they're like, oh, well, that issue favors Hillary. That issue favors Hillary. And it's like, dude, Trump, that issue favors Hillary. That issue favors Hillary. And it's like, dude, Trump has talked himself into a lot of bad positions. And he's stuck there because he can't apologize. The man has two modes. He'll either double down on his idiocy or he'll deny he ever said it.

Those are the two ways that he handles problems. They say, Hillary, what's the deal with your email server, right? That was like one of the questions they brought to her. And she said, yeah, I screwed up. I don't know if she said the words, I'm sorry, but she's like, that was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. To be fair, interject real quick, it was not a question the moderator brought up. It was only brought up because Donald Trump brought it up. So I think that's a problem. Trump mentioned it, and the moderator turned around and said, Hillary, Trump mentioned the emails. Do you want to address

that? So there was no weaseling out of it. There was no dodging it or anything. Unless Trump doesn't bring it up. Yeah, exactly. If we're getting at the fairness of the moderator and his questions, I felt like the time that I saw him be unfair as far

as how he judged things was when he hushed the crowd when they cheered for Trump. That was the only time I saw it. I think there was unequal hushing. Yeah. I don't know if it was planned, but it happened. Early on, I was typing on Skype and I was laughing because I thought it was funny. I was like, Lester's a cuck because they were both just running all over him. Lester couldn't slow them down. He was like, I said the time limit was two minutes, and you had a one-minute rebuttal,

and you had a one-minute rebuttal to that, and there will be no more rebuttals. That's what he needs to be saying. Hold on. No, no, I'm going to talk. I'm going to talk. And she's like, well, I need to talk too. And they would just keep going.

So, of course, they didn't make it through all the topics. They ran all over him. Totally. That's what happened in the debate like the first half hour. I was I was really impressed I was like wow this is way better than I thought Trump was gonna do like I did I Everybody was saying Hillary was gonna do poorly like you got to remember. She's a professional. She's been doing this a long time She's been debating people. She really gave Obama a hard time in debates, so she knows what she's doing. But the problem, it was so... The topics that were brought up, everything about Hillary is framed as old news, even from the moderator. Oh, those emails, oh, we'll be revisiting these. Okay, now that Donald has brought up this gigantic issue of cybersecurity, which I won't ask you about when we have a section titled Cybersecurity.

But now that he's brought it up, defend yourself. That's what it seemed like to me, because they had no problem bringing up taxes, bringing up a comment about Rosie O'Donnell from like 10 years ago or whatever it was, talking about his Howard Stern interview from like 2001, talking about this, like the birther thing, like I said, which is not a big deal. It's not news.

He said already, yeah, Obama was born here in the United States. He came out weeks ago and said that. But wait, real quick. But the moderator, no question of Benghazi, no independent question of emails, no question of the Clinton Foundation and their connection to Saudi Arabia and nations with egregious human rights abuse problems. No mention of the fact that she totally flipped on the Trans-Pacific Partnership as soon as she realized, oh, well, Bernie's really got this stance on it. I need to switch over in order to appeal to more people on that side. It was just flagrant. The fact that we spent a huge amount of time talking about Trump. Was he in favor of it on the Howard Stern show in 2002? I don't know. How about we talk about the fucking person standing right next to him that voted for it in the Senate? That's not a story. It was just it was so one sided because it turned into a 2v1. As soon as she got under his skin with the business thing,

which he'd handled poorly, I don't think he did a good job the last hour of the interview at all, or not interview, debate at all. But Jesus Christ, there's a reason for it. There's a reason. I mean, oh, you really hate women. Really, Hillary?

11 women have accused your husband of rape. 11 women. Is that not a big deal? Or sexual assault. Or sexual assault. Everything is old news for Hillary. Everything is wrong here and there. Some of that was consensual. It's enraging. Everything is old news for Hillary. Nothing is old news for Trump. And the media has such a hard on it.

Literally, the thing they released this morning, CNN was like, oh, you know, Hillary wins by third largest margin in debate history. And I was like, wow, 35 points. That's ludicrous. That's crazy. She really tore him up. Oh, wait, that was a that was a survey, a phone survey. 521 respondents, 26 percent Republican, 41 percent Democrat, 33 percent independent. The independents are pulling more Democrat this year just by 538 polls.

So, of course course you get some egregious outcome like that meanwhile all the polls online that they have no direct impact impact on trump's winning well is that because he has a big online community maybe that's the reason but he is winning every poll that's not directly trump is winning on the internet like if there's any place where trump is really crushing it it's the internet it's the memes it's pepe it's all that crazy stuff i looked around to see like you know what media was saying of the debate which is almost more important than what people think themselves at the debate while it happened um cnn who i used to think of as the accurate one like i in oh I hear you.

But CNN, in my head, if I were to rewind two years, it's like that's the one that aspires to be as neutral as they can, as accurate as they can. Anyway, their headline, he walked right into it. I go to ABC, how Clinton got under Trump's skin during debate. I go to NBC, they're not actually leading with the debate. Mission to Mars is their lead. But there is a thing that says, Trump, do America.

You're a disaster, I guess. Fox News says, debate draws big money. Campaign raised more than $13 million, Trump says. So Fox News talking about the success of that. And CBS fact-checked Trump's stop-and-friskisk debate claims and there is an issue with trump like it look he was wrong right what he said was this alternate reality bullshit like hey that was found unconstitutional no it wasn't found unconstitutional because after it was found unconstitutional a new mayor came in they didn't continue to pursue the case they would have won

an appeals that's not what like that's not, it was found unconstitutional and then they stopped there. It was. That's what happened. And the problem with Trump, whenever he's proven wrong, he doubles down or he just denies he ever said it. And neither of those. That's effective though.

No, it's not because his issues aren't dying, right? And neither of those effective, though. No, it's not because his issues aren't dying. Right. When hope I'm sorry, when hope when Clinton talks about the emails or something, she says, yeah, that was a mistake. You know, I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I had handled it differently. And then, like, there is no like double down. Like it.

She has doubled down a million times in the past. A million. It was only until literally it was beyond the pale and she couldn't lie anymore that now she concedes and says, that was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. It's not, yeah, I committed a horrible crime intentionally

and then had my staff plead the fifth because there was so much damning evidence. She said that was a mistake when she was in the primaries against Bernie too. Like it's not a new stance for her. But she also said back then that there was no classified information on that server. And she lied about that. What she's apologizing for keeps changing.

So I don't believe her on anything. At first she's apologizing for something innocuous that's a complete lie. And then she apologizes for another lie. And then she apologizes for another lie. and then she apologizes for another lie. And even last night, she couldn't be honest about it. She's like, I am regretful that I used a private email, and I apologize for doing it. And if I hear that, I'm like,

eh, I guess you're not supposed to use your own email address when you're working for the government, huh? Yeah, you're probably supposed to use one of those.gov emails, eh? Probably the one they give you. Probably not have 13 phones that you have your aides smash with hammers. They think... Yeah, which is what happened. It turns out that's required to physically smash the phones.

When I first heard it, I was like, that's some shady shit. They literally use hammers? It turns out that's what standard procedure is. Yeah, but it's not standard procedure to be frantically destroying 13 of them as the fbi is coming to rifle through your information usually it's all right uh we got the new iphone 7 for you secretary clinton there you go could i have your six thank you so much ma'am bang bang bang bang bang bang it's not usually get it get todd the intern in here can bring him in get a hammer todd get a hammer they're coming down the

hall they're coming down the hall like smashing i don't know how it went if it went down like that hammers to smash the phones is the correct method what's what's questionable is smashing them prior to an investigation for the purpose of purposes of concealing you know evidence assuming that was it i just don't know the timeline and maybe you guys yeah nobody does of course not yeah we're making some assumptions about it but the assumptions really aren't that out there. Because this is just another long leg of this huge conspiracy of, clearly there was a ton of stuff on there that she did not want getting out. Hence the huge cover-up.

Hence the server wipe. I mean, shit. I heard so much about her health that I started believing it. All the stroke stuff. I even started Googling the blue sunglasses and all that horse shit. She looked like the healthy one last night. Now everyone's talking about Trump being a coke addict. Because he couldn't stop

sniffling and fidgeting. He was like, he kept breathing and sniffing way too close to the mic and that was annoying. But I don't think that somehow 90 minutes of being able to... He said that his microphone was bad. That's a sour grape store loser kind of thing to say, so I don't like that. You gave me a defective

microphone. Hillary standing up straight for 90 minutes I don't think is any sort of reprieve of these health issues he had. Was she though? No, no, no. Here's what I'm thinking. Have you ever seen that episode of The Office where Dwight says he's going to do a

standing desk from now on, but he realizes he can't after a few days? So he puts stilts inside of his pants. It looks like he's standing, but he's really sitting on this like bipod that

requires him to hold on to something. I'm just thinking that's what's going on. For the past five or six years, Hillary, it's known that she's fallen getting onto an airplane. She's fallen and broken her elbow. She's fallen that's caused a blood clot in her brain. She's still on medicine for that based on the

health report she released. She's fallen just the other week. If there were four or five times in public that we had seen any politician fall in the past few years, it's not like, man, what horrible luck that they've fallen down so many times. It's, no, this person's falling down all the fucking time, and these are just the ones you've seen. Like, it's kind of, like, I still think her health is probably not that great,

because she just doesn't, she doesn't look healthy. I was hoping to see some sort of sign that she was unhealthy last night. But I was also thinking that, I mean, you could probably shoot her up with some amphetamines and cake a little makeup on her and put some eye drops in her eyes so they don't look so wild and crazy and just send her out there and she's super Hillary for tonight. But I bet she feels like shit the next morning. Yeah, I don't buy that she's totally healthy and fine. I don't have trustful of her.

I don't believe anything about her is real. I don't believe anything about either of them. They're both so untrustworthy. Hillary lost me in the gun thing bad. Me too. This plague of guns. Like, oh, wow, is there a a vaccine i hope i don't get it oh man is it am i just gonna see little guns sprouting up on my arms painful little m16

shaped pustules in my discus cunt no it's not agree with her on the no fly list thing is that yes he did and that was shitty i was like god like why do you guys all think this is okay that's a list you just put anyone you don't like on. There's no checks. There's no balances. There's no warrants. There's no judges that decide if you trust judges. It's just straight up like, eh, put a guy on it.

It's cool. He did have the caveat, and it doesn't make it – I hate it regardless, but he did add the caveat that there needs to be a way for people who shouldn't be on that list to get back off of it. He said that, yeah. Yeah, he said that. But there shouldn't be a list – that who shouldn't be on that list to get back off of it um but still yeah yeah he said that but there shouldn't be a list that list shouldn't be applied that way anyway and we went on at length about why that's just unconstitutional it's counter-constitutional so at the end of the debates i watched it and i thought i don't really know who won. Trump and his VAT tax stuff was a really powerful message to me. Some of his anti, like, you know, I felt like he understood trade deals in a way that other politicians didn't.

He looked at it from a business standpoint, whereas other ones are maybe looking at it from some global other standpoint, political, nations, relations. I don't know. So I kind of felt like Clintoninton won but i wasn't sure trump scored his points uh and then they really started lost losing me with all the sour grape stuff they're complaining about the moderator they're complaining about the mics i mean oh my gosh if you really want to convince me you lost start complaining about the refs now i know now i know you got fucked up it's also like complaining about the mics uh saying that she was mean to him at the end that was petty stupid sour grapes nonsense complaining about a moderator

who's very clearly biased i don't think that's sour grapes i think that's hey you know how i've been telling you the mainstream media is on hillary's side this whole time we'll read through the transcript because every 15 questions exclusively for trump two questions exclusively for hillary they were mainly phrased as you know oh here's a very directed question about race relations donald try and fucking fight your way out of that idiot and then he'd just go secretary clinton yeah here's an open-ended softball question talk about whatever you want like no that's not what it was it was they asked the same question to each candidate trump went first and since then it's been rephrased as this oh my god trump got all the questions they both got the same question he just didn't repeat it for hillary

he'd say you know i'm sorry because you're allowing them free if i say to kyle kyle i want you to solve what how is what do you think about extremist islamic are they would even say that on their what do you think about black lives matter and the riots in charlotte and what do you think should be done to help those people and uh... to lessen that pain there you have to answer a very direct question right if i then say woody comment you can't go anywhere you want with that you if you if you if it turns out that you don't have that much to say about it you can go anywhere you want with it. If it turns out that you don't have that much to say about it, you can very quickly veer

off. It's just a tactical way to ask questions that's manipulative. He was first in each of these questions. I knew that before the debates, that he got to answer them all first. I don't know if that was an advantage or disadvantage, but he went first. Huge disadvantage. To answer first in a debate and have your opponent

be able to critique your answer and give their own afterward. That's a big, in any debate. Well, then he gets the last word, right? Like he gets to reply after she does. But, so anyway, he got to answer first and then she would have to reply afterwards. The only thing we're talking about here is that they didn't repeat the question before they handed it off to her. And I don't think that means there were 15 to 2 questions. They got basically the same questions.

It's just that Trump got to hear them first. I wonder if they asked the question to Hillary first, if when they got to Clinton, I'm sorry, Trump, if he'd be going, what was the question again? I probably wouldn't know. Well, I mean, he also, just an example of the end, when he goes, one of you will not win this election.'m reading this so my final question to you tonight are you willing to accept the outcome as uh the will of the voters and then he specifically asked trump will you

accept the outcome of the election he just he lets hillary say a you know oh of course i respect the will of the people whatever the fuck and then makes a deal about you know trump will you you wild card maniac will you go on will you hire uh uh will you conscript a bunch of mercenaries from your good buddy putin and go marching on the white house like the way he articulated things his phrasing was ridiculous it was so one-sided trump said we should have taken the oil trump said a few things that i was just like he was trump 99 he was 90, 95% Trump. Now, you got to admit that. He didn't come out and try to be somebody he wasn't.

He tried to interrupt her. He tried to be a jerk. He got mad and offended at times. He was himself, which I'm so surprised by. I did not expect him to be the exact same guy all the way through. I thought he would improve. I think he did. No, of course not.

Dude, so just thinking. To his face, he called Jeb Bush low energy. He called Ted Cruz lion Ted. He called Rubio little Rubio. Right? Straight up to him. He told Ron Paul that he's never made fun of his looks and there's a lot of material to work with there to his face right he did not call her crooked hillary like he i i felt like we got

a toned down version at the beginning yeah he was clear he he was out there all right i feel like he basically intimated to to the audience and to her that someone told me that i should address you as secretary clinton right and she's like yes he's like all right your happiness is very important to me and i i want everyone to know that it's clear that someone had been saying that to him like like it was it just felt like he was trying to to really get it across that like i'm not gonna try to like intimidate you or call you any bad names out here because they say that that's a bad idea i'm not supposed to do that i saw it more as a thing of like um part maybe partially that you could be right ahead and thought about that angle i thought it was more him being like really putting

a focus on the fact that this person is establishment this person's talking about all these problems as though this is their first chance their first crack at remedying really it's like no you've been you've been in this machine your whole life suckling off the teat of the government because you've never made a real life for yourself independently unless it was pilfering money from fucking the middle east for your foundation and he wanted to drive it home that you are establishment i am donald trump i'm not i'm a businessman i know money i'm cool because i don't pay taxes like i know he went on and on about that later on but when he said i don't pay taxes he essentially said that right he said that makes me smart i was like uh i feel like he just called

every taxpayer stupid that's how i felt. No, because he does pay tax because at the end of the day, if he was this dude who didn't pay any workers and did all these horrible things regularly, he wouldn't own a huge number. He doesn't seem to have any issue getting lots of workers to build stuff for him, which leads me to believe that he

is paying his workers because if he didn't, he would not have been able to maintain this. You couldn't just be bringing in Cambodian workers. Maybe let some workers use me into like no Trump projects. Yeah, that's silly. Here's one. I found a good example of what I was saying earlier, the bias. This is a question that was not for Hillary at all.

Mr. Trump, this year Secretary Clinton became the first woman nominated for president by a major party. Earlier this month, you said she doesn't have, quote, a presidential look. She's standing here right now. What do you mean by that? The quote was, I just don't think she has the presidential look. No, no question for Hillary there. All he was doing is saying, hey, Hillary, in about a minute, I've got that very softball victim pitch coming in. And so you have to try and remain strong,

but also remind everyone that you've got a clam. Like, it's just, it was so one-sided, and it was angry to see it and know that if Trump was articulate and intelligent and capable of forming concise, cogent responses to questions, that it wouldn't have mattered. Because Hillary has so much baggage that at any point it could have been, oh, you made fun of Rosie O'Donnell. Well, frankly,

I don't think those comments are relevant. I think it's really indicative of the mainstream media doing exactly what I've been saying you're doing the whole time, just dredging up anything. The important issue, though, is that Hillary's marching around as a proponent of women and children while she's taking money from countries like Saudi Arabia and defending Bill for decades after all of these allegations, she's the same woman that said that victims should be believed. And then, as the coup de grace, he goes, there he is right there, ladies and gentlemen, the man who did all these things, and start naming names.

Because they can't stop him once he starts naming names. He's going to have to get all 9 or 11 out and look at him. It would be interesting to see how that plays. Look at him. There are certain things about men that make men men. Predator. Right? What if he did that?

What if he said, Baxter, super predator. It's not necessarily how much they can bench press. It's not necessarily like – but's a certain like strength and internal i don't know toughness that comes with being a man and when he whines about the moderators the next day or whines about the press and something about i'm not that's not fair is especially six year old to me and he says it all it's in his everyday vocabulary that's not fair wah wah wah i want to get him a fucking baby bottle whenever he says that's not fair they might strike other people differently than it does me yeah every i see certain whining as oh come on you're being a douche just like i said with he's

fucking sydney crosby the fucking mike that's douchey and then the whole end where he lost the rails and went off the rails and was like oh she, she's being nasty and that's not nice. That was whiny. That was weak and stupid. But complaining about a moderator who's very clearly biased is... That's the same moderator who pitched up softballs to her against Bernie. The Donald subreddit was praising him. There was a chat on the Donald subreddit. Yes, saying that they were so great.

And then a little time passed, and now the narrative changed to the fact that he was terrible. No, even as I was watching it, I'm like, this guy clearly is in bed with Clintons. The way he was phrasing everything, he would let Hillary go on and on and on without interruption. Anytime Trump got towards something that was really uncomfortable for Clinton, it would be, Mr. Trump just wanted to inform you now, 48 seconds left. Did that really happen that's yeah he definitely jumped in with the time a couple times when he didn't have to trying to throw trump off like it's it was very clear and shitty what he was doing and i hope that

i mean i i know just from doing some research that most people are most moved by the last debate so i guess there's three and i was wondering it i'm sorry i cut you off in my head i was like is the first debate debate the most important or the last one the last one is the most important yeah because it's kind of just like uh it's like a menu at a restaurant you know if you read it first like oh chicken quesadilla that sounds pretty good oh down here some steak fajitas that sounds nice oh chimichanga. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Like you go with what struck you last. And so I think that's going to be the most important one.

I was just thinking about in the primary process, like I remember the first debate for each party was like a big event. Like, oh, finally they're going this and that. I don't think I even watched the 17th one or whatever, however high. I think they had 13 of them. That's why it's different. Yeah. Yeah, but it's 13, right? Maybe if there's only three, there's a difference.

And when do the VPs debate? Next Tuesday. Tuesday. That'll be interesting, too. That'll be a bore! What? I won't even watch that. I'm not watching that. It'll be way better than the presidential debate. Not as far as entertainment, but as far as

actual discussion, I think they will do more. Trump's VP is a particular fuckbag, and I would like to see him put that on display. I won't be watching that one, because I don't think it's going to be boring. And I'm in this for entertainment value, purely. What's going to be interesting, I think,

is to see which versions of Hillary and Trump we get next time, now that they've had time to evaluate the other and see how the first debate went. Because he definitely can see his weaknesses, and hopefully there's somebody on his team who can see hers, and vice versa. There are so many weaknesses, though. Like, the whole, they fact-checked Trump five times. No fact-checks for Hillary. I saw Hillary fact-check. She didn't have anything. She had one thing, I wish I could recall it, that was debatable.

And everything else she said was true. Trump, on the other hand, like, verifiably false. Her whole speech about women not being paid for the same work, nonsense. That's not true. Although I agree with what you're saying. Yeah, she had a whole section about how you know we need she even said it weird like women should be paid the same or we need to make sure women are paid the same as men even if they're not doing as good a job or some kind of phrasing like that

i do recall this she's like this is the man who said that women should be paid the same for the same if they can do the job as well and i thought well actually i'm okay with that like how is that a dig you know she had the position of we need to fight for equal pay for women that's perhaps the easiest statistic in the world to debunk because it takes don't even type the whole thing in just type in pay pay pay gap Boom. Got it. Boom. Oh, look at that. Stats. Statistics. Numbers. It makes sense. No fact check there because it doesn't matter. No fact check

on the fact that she totally flipped on TPP. It's just so biased. And I hate the fact checking thing, too, because I don't trust these fucking fact checkers. Because every time some liberal out there can check a fact and be like wow that seems believable they can the heritage foundation a conservative think tank can pull other numbers and present something else that is equally a fact

check but he's just not good complaining about the fact checks no one ever complained about the fact checkers until this election where trump just fucking whines about fairness all the time the one of the big ones that got a lot of play was trump claimed that global warming was just a like a conspiracy by the chinese to hurt our manufacturing he tweeted that i like it it got thousands of retweets last night everyone was like here's where he said it and he deleted the tweet today i think i didn't like confirm it myself but i read that and i was like oh such a fucking pussy like he did trump is a pussy everywhere i'm so he's not a good guy he's a coward like i'm i'm tired of him complaining about the moderators complaining about the press

deleting the things he said not standing as like just to look at this whole situation and pretend like the moderator and the media as a whole is being unbiased and he and uh people are overreacting about the bias that's just not true it's abundantly apparent even fox gives trump shit even big republicans on fox are like i don't know about that guy. Fuck him. Like, he is under attack from everywhere. Meanwhile, just like all the bullshit Trump says about global warming being a Chinese hoax or whatever he said. Hillary talking about her Iran deal.

Oh, we, you know, Iran isn't even making weapons anymore. We put a cap on that program like this. It's a great deal. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. They're still making weapons. No fact check there. program like this it's a great deal no you didn't when you didn't make weapons no fact check there when the talking heads on any of these networks are discussing this debate and they're talking

about trump and hillary it's it's already like this preconceived idea that everyone already knows there's no discussion about it it's like there's no like what do you mean explain that to me why do you think that trump is a madman it's like everyone there already knows that donald trump is a bad guy who is a liar and is going to and who hates women and is a racist everyone there already knows it so when someone says well it'd be interesting to see what he does when he gets up there considering all the lies that he normally tells and everyone's like yes yes based on all the lies he normally tells it will be interesting to see what happens tonight because normally it's all lies right everyone and everyone's like yes it's all lies and it's just like shit it's a consensus here the thing about hating women and racism i say prove it right prove it because and a lot of times when they do

prove it if you're audio only, there are air quotes on that. It's, like, debatable. Like, you're putting a wall next to Mexico. That's not racist. That's an immigration policy. You can like it or not like it. But he's not saying, like, maybe he has actually said they're rapists and murderers and stuff. No, he actually hasn't said that either. He said they're sending.

If you actually look at it, the quote's it's quite literally a their argument it's they use the wrong there and what he says he says they're sending they're not sending their best they are not sending their best right they're sending their t-h-e-i-r their rapists their uh degenerates or whatever he says it's not they are all rapists and degener're degenerates. Or whatever he says. It's not they are all rapists and degenerates. It's clearly if you have a really, really great life in Mexico, making a lot of money, successful, beacon of the community,

you're not moving to the United States. You have a good life in Mexico. So the best people from Mexico aren't immigrating in. Because you can't have a weak border with welfare benefits offered to people and expect people not to flood the immigration argument goes the other way typically people who immigrate are considered to be the ambitious ones uh but they legally that's true people actually yeah legal immigrants from like

south east not tons of people pouring into southern california who are are taking like the guys who go to like American colleges from India and Asia and what have you, they're usually not, they're rapists and they're murderers. Those are, those are good people. Yeah. Um, but, um, it's just how much people, so on the, on the bigotry, uh, and on the, um, the not liking women thing, I'm like, that never really sunk home with me. And shucks. So Hillary had that ad, 30 seconds long, of the things that Trump has said over the years. Dude, he lived a life outside of politics for 20 years.

If they made that ad against me, it'd be 30 times worse. If she went through the PKA archives, oh my goodness, what would she find? She went through the PKA archives. Oh, my goodness. What would she find? On the other hand, the thing about him being a liar is true. I've followed politics for a long time, and he is a new kind of bullshitter. He will tell a lie, be proven false, stick with that lie, keep telling that lie, run with that lie. Deny he said that lie.

There'll never be a, oh yeah, that turned out to be a whopper, huh? I don't see that as much different than what Hillary does. The only difference is that when Trump lies about something, CNN, MSNBC, every station out there is, look at Trump lying! Look at this slimy motherfucker lying again! when when something else comes out about Hillary oh it turns out there was a lot of classified information on that term but but she didn't but she didn't know what the C meant but she didn't know what the C meant like it's just a

big firewall of making little excuses and pretending like this issue was so fucking complicated and convoluted that we can't possibly wrap our hands around it when in reality it's This is basically the same thing fucking Nixon did you're hiding information that you don't want seen on a way bigger scale You go on a huge digital hunt trying to smash all the evidence and it still is coming out leaking And so you have to continue to give rope and give slack. I guess I did do that Oh, there was classified information. Oh, and I did lie about it. Oh, yeah I guess they're all gonna take the fifth because i'm really nervous about it's just it's different here's

the email thing i think it boils down to this when you get past all the partisan stuff she set up a private email server for a couple of reasons one she wanted to use her favorite blackberry or whatever the fuck she was used to and two she didn't want her, they default to secrecy at a level that makes me uncomfortable for a government official, right? If Hillary has the option to be honest or to hide, which isn't necessarily dishonest, but hide, she just defaults to hide all the time. Secrecy, you know, and I like the sunlight

as a disinfectant, I wish she didn't operate that way, but, eh, I don't know. The email server thing, I'm like, if that's the worst, you've got to have worse stuff. Go back to the Clinton Foundation. That shit, pay for play, that's a big deal to me. The email server, that was just her trying to avoid being recorded. That's how she was facilitating a lot of pay for play stuff. That could be true.

Which is why she didn't do it on government servers and why she was so adamant about getting rid of that information. But you don't feel like Trump's lies are another level? Like they're so frequent and so obvious and so easily disproven? Stupid. Trump lies about stupid shit all the time, and he's a bullshitter. Hillary lies about phenomenally important things because frankly like up until now donald trump has not had as big an impact on this country as

hillary clinton so his lies of like oh yeah i actually didn't say that on howard stern i said something different who fucking cares everybody already knows this doesn't matter the only reason it's being dredged up is because the media has a hard-on for Hillary. Hillary, on the other hand, you know, embroiled in numerous scandals, starts wars. Somehow Trump is labeled Nazi, Hitler guy, and he's the only one who's never voted for a war. She started a war. He's the one who hasn't given direct orders that have had many people killed. You don't think his Secretary of State, she's... The whole Howard Stern, though, is trying to figure out how he would have voted at the time like that that's what that's all about did you

listen to the interview i did i read it yeah the whole like the answer of like oh i don't know i guess so maybe yeah yeah like a very like very non-answer like that also the other thing they didn't bring up in the debates i thought was interesting is you think if Donald Trump called tens of millions of Americans deplorable a couple weeks ago, he might have brought it up? Do you think he might have? You know what wasn't brought up? The wall. And I'm just – I think – Kyle and I talked about this in text, but I thought it was strategically not mentioned, right? Because he talked about Mexico.

He talked about the VAT tax. He talked about immigration. There was plenty of time to say i'm gonna build a wall right you know he spent 20 minutes talking about the different people that endorsed him and that horse shit like that um but he net he didn't bring up the wall once and i think that wasn't an accident i think that he decided that the wall talk doesn't play with the people he's trying to get to vote for him. We'll know next debate. You may be right, but

maybe the next debate is more about immigration or more specifically about that, and it'll be all wall. And he'll, maybe he'll, maybe he'll, I've got a little picture of it right here. And he reaches into his jacket and he's like, and you're like, and he, what do you, that some sort of tony stark hologram and like shows us his wall and we're all blown away about it that that's the sort of shit that he should be working

on right now is a tony stark hologram pad to show us his wall like like this guy's not going to get elected if unless he does his homework and he doesn't seem to actually play out people might laugh at it as a stupid gimmick too no it'd be so cool if you pulled out a hologram pad and his wall popped up and he started basically narrating a little hologram presentation that he was putting on and just hijacked the whole thing start walking around the stage hillary gets a wide-eyed and starts having a seizure because of the hologram like the flashing lights are too much for okay now we're into fantasy land i uh yeah i think i don't he may have like you said been avoiding it intentionally

i was kind of thinking the whole time like okay immigration must be like their flagship discussion on the second or third debate so maybe they said beforehand like save your big policies about that for november or oct, whenever it is. The way he did handle it, though, the VAT tax in particular, I forget how much he said it was, like 16% or 30%, but American goods instantly, the price rises by a third

as it heads into Mexico. I didn't know Mexico had a VAT tax. 15 or 16, he said. Did he say that? He said 16 is the number that... I've got it in my head too. Maybe that's it then. So yeah, if our stuff instantly gets 16% more expensive as it enters Mexico and it doesn't

happen in reverse, that's not fair. What's the difference between a VAT tax and a tariff? I don't know. A percentage versus a flat fee? A tariff is just a percentage of the goods you're shipping in, right? Not a percentage, a percentage of the cost of the goods you're shipping in. Now, to me, that's what that was. I thought a tariff, because I know sometimes there's tariffs on cars,

and it was a flat thousand. That's probably out of date by now. So I'm going to Google that. Yeah, just very interesting to watch the debate i'm very excited that hockey season starts in like three and a half weeks and as long as that's a pretty entertaining start to the season i'll really lose interest in this a lot hopefully yeah i'm uh not not so pumped for hockey season not really uh bulldog lost so completely uninterested in college football now. They're 3-1. They're going to be fine.

Oh, no, it's fine. No, I'm not going to watch unless you're going undefeated and winning the national title. That's the only kind of acceptable season there is at this point. We've won the Peach Bowl or whatever or the SEC before. That's no fun. That doesn't even come with a cool trophy or anything. Well, not a really cool trophy.

Winning the SEC would be a big deal. Is that what you just said? That's not fun? Not for me. Maybe I'm not a big enough fan of the team to care if they win the SEC. Wouldn't that get them into the playoffs? Maybe now it would.

Now it actually would. But, I mean, years when when it they won it seems like they won the sec one year but somehow like lost to florida during the season and it was just like when's the last time georgia won the sec east i don't remember i don't know i think it happened a few years back i think it happened within the last eight or ten years or so i know mizzou won two years in a row because we're in the sec east as well oh the east oh yeah yeah yeah one of those i think that no it seems like alabama is just too good it's not fair too many people want to go play football there yes especially if you're very good at football yeah i mean it's like every other team it's like

you can if you're an sec school at least you can pull good talent but it's like they have a great third stringer who they're like oh no we lost clyde johnson our first string well let's give this other guy a try i mean he probably won't go in the first couple rounds in the nfl draft but he'll do fine like they bring in such good talent. When I was in high school, there was one guy, Doug Coleman. You can Google him if you choose. And he played football on our high school team and was amazingly good, and his father played football.

And he went to University of Nebraska. His team won two national championships while he was there. So while Nebraska wasn't the – you know, Alabama's won like four of the last seven. That's another league. But they won two of four years. That's really strong. He never started. He never like – he didn't even get to play much.

He was on special teams a lot. He was never first string anything. Seven years in the NFL. He played seven years in the NFL. Not really like a lot of special team stuff, and he was kind of just making it. But that was like a – Still getting that baseline NFL salary, so making like 300 grand a year,

whatever that is. Yeah, he made baseline a lot, I think. But still, like, I don't know. It was just like this guy, and he couldn't even start on his college team. Yet, you know, he played for the Eagles, and he lost the Super Bowl. He was on the Titans when they lost the Super Bowl. He was on the Titans when they lost the Super Bowl by seven at the very end. Oh, I watched that one. That was against St. Louis.

Yeah, the Rams. In 1999, yeah. I won $20 on the little grid sheet. Well, he was very sad. Dude, this is too old for you probably but back in like i'll call it 92 something like that uh it's dallas versus the buffalo bills in the super bowl jackie has a grid sheet or something and she has a bunch of credit card debt you know we're only dating at this point and uh um she had the she put five dollars on and stood to win like a fair amount it was like the fun so they like it went by quarters but went the final game one was a bigger dollar amount

and uh this dallas player fat guy might have been leon let i'm not sure he's running towards the end zone showboating he's all by himself he's like holding the ball back. And this speedy little guy from Buffalo starts taking off. Chasing him down. He doesn't even know he's being chased. Like five yards before the finish line, thinking he's all by himself. He like holds the ball backwards like to mock him

if I remember it right. B.B. swats the ball out of his hand. Prevents the touchdown. Jackie wins like $314 and pays off her credit cards because of that guy's hustle. It was great. Nice. Yeah.

It's a good story. That asshole deserved it. He did. Especially in the Super Bowl, you shouldn't be showboating. You should be the whole time running like your life depends on it. It's the fourth quarter. They're up.

I'm making up numbers here, but it's like 52 to 13. and he's being a dick about scoring because i know as you were telling the story i'm like well i know the buffalo bills don't win this so it couldn't have been that big deal and the poor buffalo buffalo as a city Really has a rough time with sports Like they get screwed Have they ever won a championship? Dude, can we watch this together? I want to relive a moment

I'm pretty sure We'll start at zero Someone's playing through their speakers. Ready, set, play. This guy is not going quick. No, that's not what he does best. 82, look at that guy. Fuck you.

He's like, no. Isn't it interesting to watch even professional sports from like 26 years ago, 25 years ago, whatever this is, and see like the difference in physique shape of professional athletes? Like to look at some of those guys and be like, yeah, that guy would not make it in the NFL today. I don't think especially if you ever watch like 70s basketball holy shit you would think they just held a lanky people convention and randomly called people's numbers and put them in little shorty shorts and had them run around because there is no way that any of those dudes could go up against a guy like lebron james like a world class lebron

james looks like he could have got into football and done just fine like he's a natural athlete he's i i was reading some puff piece on levon james and he is so incredible like athletically gifted apparently he takes like 30 fewer strides to get down the court than other people he doesn't jump as high like everything for him just comes easily he's a he's god's gift of basketball that guy and people are talking about being better than jordan i i this is i we always take a lot of heat when we talk basketball and perhaps justifiably because i don't know shit about basketball but i read a lot and uh people are putting him in that league. It's interesting to think about what we read,

and that's all we're doing here, but yeah, from what I read, he's agile in a way that normally big guys aren't agile. He's got that dexterity. Usually those big lanky guys seem to have horrible hand-eye coordination. He's not lanky,

though. That's the other different thing about him he's fast and big and really strong all at once i guess so yeah i always think about that with like imagine how well he could swim yeah i don't i always do that do you know michael phel don't remember just trying to talk. The physiques in the NBA would be so great for swimming. If those guys would be interested in a ginormous pay cut, we could really do something. If only they were white. They don't need to.

I don't know. I was even thinking. So I joined my swim team my senior year. And I went in there. And because I had surfed for so long, I was, like, immediately one of the best swimmers on the team. And I used to think to myself, like, oh, thank God Derek Yeoman, like, the captain of our basketball team, doesn't like swimming. Because, like, his body is way better than mine. And he would just come in here and kick everybody's ass if he could pick

up the technique who's someone who's really good in a sport now this is the one that was i was thinking of uh maybe i'm wrong i don't know a ton about boxing but i've watched plenty of videos of muhammad ali and mike tyson and i feel like if you had those guys fight, both in their prime, Mike Tyson would embarrass Muhammad Ali. Like, probably knock that dude's ass out in the first or second round. Like, I know Muhammad Ali was like, oh, I can dodge a bunch of slow punches in 1967, but could he dodge Mike Tyson's punches? No, he'd go in there with his hands down like, oh, I'm fighting Mickey the Tool-O-Hoolahan tonight. Oh, let's back up and do this.

No, Mike Tyson would go up like all hunkered down. Boom! Just beat the shit out of him. Just like I'm thinking in a bigger example for me, I think that if you put Sidney Crosby in the same era as Wayne Gretzky, he scores more goals because if you look at the goalies in the late 70s early 80s in the nhl my god they were not good they were still figuring that shit out like i don't know it wasn't close did the refs respond to whining back in gretzky's days like they do now? Talk to you about Sidney Crosby as a Philly fan. He's the best.

Sidney Crosby is the best living player, and I know that you hate that. Sidney Crosby? Yeah. Well, you can kick his ass at growing a beard, so there's that. He goes, he's such a good player. He takes his team so deep into the playoffs all the time. And it'll be like, man, this is like the Stanley Cup Finals. These guys shouldn't have been shaving for like six weeks now.

And Sidney Crosby, the best player on the planet, comes out, and he's got like a Fu Manchu and a soul patch. And that's about it. He's like a 12-year-old Mexican guy trying to grow a beard. Maybe 11. And he just... It's like it's dark and coarse. There's just not very much of it.

Yeah. Like Jon Snow if he burnt himself starting a fire. Yeah. Yes. Like Jon Snow, his beard's not great. It's not very regal. Like if I were a king and I looked in the mirror and was like... I'd be like, oh no, I'm going to have to be a smooth-shaven king if I'm going to keep this up. Yeah, if I were a king and I looked in the mirror and was like, I'd be like, oh no, I'm gonna have to be a smooth-shaven

king if I'm gonna keep this up. Yeah, exactly. There's plenty of real men around here to make me look like shit. Yeah, it's not like you work at, uh, fuckin' Denny's or Applebee's where you walk in, they're like, that's Jon Snow. He's the bearded guy. Look out. He works among a bunch of

wilderness men and timber experts as walking around with real beards, you know, fighting bears. That red-headed wildling guy, that's a beard. The one that seems to like Breanne. Arno, he's got those, maybe it's like, it's either car insurance or like a Travelocity type commercial he does. They're really good. It's an Infinity commercial.

Oh, he's got one of those, too. He also does something else. He's got a lot of deals, I guess. I like him as king in the north, but I don't want to buy his car. I'm not that compelled. Oh, wait a minute. You're talking about

Jon Snow. He's got the Infinity commercial. I'm talking about the red-bearded guy. He's got commercials, too. Oh'm talking about the red-bearded guy. He's got commercials too. Oh, I haven't seen his commercials. Yeah, the Wildling guy's got some Travelocity commercials. How do you see these commercials? Probably Hulu or maybe...

Yes, for some reason, because I get Hulu through Amazon, you can't get the commercial free version. You get Hulu through Amazon? Yeah, I've got my Hulu through kitty's amazon but do you have to pay for it i think maybe she plays oh okay i thought maybe as a prime member i had access to hulu and didn't realize it you should cancel that then re-up your hulu in the 11.99 package with no commercials that's what i have and it's infinitely better. I should do that because...

But the only things I watch on Hulu are like Seinfeld which I don't do very often because I've kind of went through it a couple times now. And I watch the new South Parks when they come out there. It's only the stuff that I want to watch as soon as it comes out that I go to Hulu. Although you get to wait until like 3 in the morning Wednesday night for

South Park to come out. How did you guys like the newest ones? I'm up to 2. Am I current? Yep, you're current then. There's only been two. I liked it. I don't know. It's not that South Park got worse. It's just that it's season 20

or something, and I feel like it's not getting the same kind of response to me that that like indignant oh my god i can't believe they just said that kind of shock thing let's know what they're about more it it was they've totally pivoted from trying to see what they can get away with on television to um to to mocking us weekly and and as um as timely as possible you know it's it's like something will happen on tuesday and they'll work it into their story somehow for wednesday i feel like it's more about um mocking society and from i mean i can definitely tell where you're coming from

kyle because like at least in the last two seasons they've switched it from every episode kind of does the family guy thing of like at the end of the day like we carry a few jokes forward but it's mostly a new world every time and now it's like a cohesive storyline which so far this season i'm liking it a lot more because i feel like because every four years they focus a lot more on politics obviously and this feels like it has a better skeleton structure for them to build stories on. Because you have Hillary, who's very easy to mock, and Trump, who is very easy to mock. Whereas last season, I did not like it as much. Because it was all the PC principal thing.

And I thought he as a character was annoying, the way he talked. That's very petty. I didn't like it. Caitlyn Jenner, to me, is hard to look at. at like she has a disfigured face and a terrible accent yeah no i every time she's on the screen i can't wait for her to get off the screen oh no i love it when she comes on i giggle a little like like before before she does anything i'm oh here we go back it up buckaroos where he asked her he's like kaitlyn when we get elected what are we gonna do it's like i know and he's like i'm just gonna be the president and you're gonna be in charge of all policies

foreign and domestic so literally put kaitlin jenner in charge of everything and making fun of the fact that he's going to get into the white house and probably be like pence what does this mean like this isn't businessy yeah he uh oh there was a spartan there where they ranted like i guess his plan for isis of course is a secret and depending on whether you like him or not it's either clever to keep it a secret or it's because he doesn't have a plan the secret is he has no plan

holy shit Taylor we get it you vape your whole fucking thing close to the camera and when I do that it goes do it to the camera one of these times because that's a lot of vape but he's like yeah isn't it fair that we can get elected with not camera one of these i want to because that's a lot of vape but um he's like yeah yo isn't it fair that we can get elected with not telling people what we're going to do

like that thing struck my funny bone but i like that he's got that like orange face on and he's just like missing spots like it's only the front of his face yeah he's like no the camera i like michael bay rebooting the national anthem, all that stuff. Was it different? I couldn't tell. No, it was the exact same, but he said, now will you please join us in honoring America? Will you please rise? Sit O'Neill to join us in honoring America.

And then shows Kaepernick like frantically like feeling and standing and he's like oh my god They started again JJ Abrams redeems our national anthem now getting to the point that everybody knows and loves a lot of people sitting down now that he has made it irrelevant like Think about what they did there They're making fun of the fact that JJ Abrams just remade Star Wars and and he just didn't a new hope again You know the Star Wars episode 7 is the exact same premise as the first Star Wars movie he just did A New Hope again. Star Wars Episode 7 is the exact same premise as the first Star Wars movie. That's what he's mocking.

Yeah. Yeah. The oldest one. The original. It's the exact same thing. The descriptions are interchangeable completely. Rebel group fighting against Galactic Empire. Lone hero rises, etc. It's the same fucking story.

So that's really... They do such a good job at that, of hitting that double funny bone there by mocking that football player, mocking J.J. Abrams, mocking Star Wars. And that's just a little side story in that episode. They mocked like 18 things that episode. Yeah.

Yeah, I do like how they're not pulling punches on either side of the aisle really fairly conservative yeah i know in real life they're libertarian leaning like they're more conservative they even had like an interview with them a while ago where they were like yeah we think of ourselves more libertarian we fucking hate or we we hate conservatives but we really fucking hate liberals was matt stone's quote so it's good to have someone out there hating everybody semi-evenly i like that about that show that's my favorite thing about the show is that i never feel like oh look at him protecting this issue look at them protecting this issue. Look at them protecting this character, this politician, this actor, this celebrity.

They won't go after Meryl Streep, will they? Of course they will. If she got breast cancer, they'd make fun of her deadly titties or something. They don't give a shit. They'll make fun of anyone and anything, whether it's Buddhism or... Of course, Comedy Central had them backing down over the Muslim thing, but prior to

that whole thing, prior to all that, they had already done an episode where you had, like... The super friends. The super friends. So you had, like, Jesus and Muhammad and whatever that multi-armed, like... Vishnu. Yeah, yeah, that Indian war goddess

with the titties and the multiple arms and the elephant with the... All that stuff. The Hindu stuff, all the... They had them multiple arms and the elephant with the, all that stuff. The Hindu stuff, all the, they had them like the super friends, you know, fighting crime or something together, you know. So they're very indignant. And I always loved that, you know, the guy who played Chef, the reason he left the show was because they started making fun of Scientology. And he'd been a long time Scientologist.

And what did they do? They let his ass fucking go and then they like humiliated his character. They had his character literally become a pedophile, fall into an incredibly painful death that included like jagged rocks, compound fractures,

and then I think a jaguar literally tore off his face at the end and then he shit himself. And he shit himself. For a long time. time a bear it's like he falls down the crevice and impales himself on a rock they're like chef looking down and he's like a cougar like he said comes out tears his face off and then a random bear shows up and he starts fighting the cougar and then they both the bear and the cougar get along and then eat him together

after tearing his limbs off like it was when he a very brutal like like i like the way they did it where it's like all right you're done chef you're not coming back as a character anymore fuck you you can't apologize look at your character you just got murdered and you're not kenny so you can't come back who did the voice for it while they murdered him did you oh that's the best parts from him and so it was just like like they'd be like children what are you doing today like just like at all it was badly done like on purpose yes badly done like on purpose to show oh that's great that was your anus. Chef, you can't say that to kids. Why, boys? You're sexy. Oh, yeah. I want you to put my finger

inside your rectum, children. Yeah, it was... I love that about them. They're really... protected. You know, the Catholic church ends up with giant spiders and child molesters in it. All that stuff.

Wonderful. I used to have a subscription to HBO Go and I think I don't anymore. It doesn't work. That's weird. I'd be mad if I paid for it.

But instead a subscriber gave it to me and I guess good times ended. My HBO Go subscription. What'd you say, Kyle? If it's still the one I gave you five years ago, it hasn't worked for a long time. It's not that one.

Oh, good. Good. Wait, it might be the one Kyle's talking about. Oh, no. I hope I didn't lose mine too i i'm gonna i'm gonna go upstairs like that right after this and check to see if hbo still works that would be a shame i think your odds are bad that's funny so if anyone out there has uh some way for me to get hbo go i don't know why everything though let everything, though. Let's not stop at HBO Go. I currently have quite a few channels.

I used to also use it for, you know how you can watch certain TV channels live on the Internet if you just give them your cable TV login? Well, Fox has certain fights that you can't watch any other way than on Fox. The same login just seemed to get me like Friday Night Fights or something. Yeah. It's everything. Like when I wanted to watch the debates on Fox rather than CBS

because I felt like their coverage was a bit biased. Huh, I wonder if this will work. Yep, yep. It gets that too. Right into like everything. Next time I watch debates, I forget who it was. It might have been Chiz.

But someone had a split screen. Rather than like show trump when he talked and hillary when they talked they'd show both all the time i want that oh i didn't have that i just saw cbs coverage was exactly like that you got chest to head uh split screen so you got uh live and instantaneous react facial reactions to what they said. She did very well at not looking too off when he would say things. Maybe two or three times. There's just one time where she does this thing where she puts her chin

down here and it gives her this double chin thing. Or triple. And makes her look awful. And you could tell, as soon as she did it, she was like, oh, remember, coach told us not to do that and she like straightened back up tilted her head to an attractive angle and continued what did you think of the dance do you remember her dance so trump said something like he laid

out a couple of positions that she felt okay so trump said some things and he went on for like three minutes or so and then they're like hillary will you reply but she felt like he had just laid out a bunch of red meat for her to devour and she's like oh where do i even start she was all very excited and uh like people i guess some of that donald just keep saying crazy things it was um it's biased but you know the new john stewart i think his name's trevor noah yeah yeah he got very excited about her dance he's like she was you know kicking ass so much she started dancing and they flipped to the screen or whatever it is he said dozens of people must

have got a hoot out of that that show becomes a little more relevant in the election year like i saw it on my YouTube feed and was like, oh, I wonder what he said about it. But like you said, he's not Jon Stewart. I heard Jon Stewart was going to get his old show back on some other network. He's going to do what he did before, but somewhere else. He should go to HBO. I would feel like they're the people to go if you want a lot of money, right?

I have no idea. They don't need him. They already have Marr on there. They have Marr and John Oliver. And Marr, I think, I actually kind of like Bill Marr. I can't stand John Oliver. John Oliver's an annoying twat, but Bill Marr is right on quite a few things. Like, he's pretty liberal, but I agree with him on a good amount of stuff.

Me too. Yeah, I do as well. Yeah. a few things like he's pretty liberal but i agree with him on a good amount of stuff me yeah i do as well yeah i like and i don't like a lot of his policies but i like that he's he seems to be he doesn't lie he doesn't give any any horse shit um he doesn't change what he what what's what he what he thinks to make it match someone else's narrative he just tells you what bill marr believes and i like that i don't feel like he like if he mocks someone he doesn't misrepresent what he's mocking whereas that's john oliver's like that's that's his standard operating procedure you know he'll take someone else's position paint it in the stupidest light possible and then smash that thing down and you know bill maher at least like i don't know the other positions more fairly represented

so yeah so i saw that taylor went and got one of those breathalyzers so i went and got one too and i think i didn't really i guess the idea would be to do a drinking episode with these things and be able to track exactly how drunk we actually were um keep ourselves honest exactly yeah you need a d battery for that i'll get on that jesus this is pretty professional like i just have taken it out of this is this is legit i feel like uh i feel like taylor's gonna out drink us all it's not even fair like i I know this idea that like what alcohol content keeps it all even, but it doesn't a BAC for an alcoholic. I'm not calling Taylor one is very different than one for a teetotaler.

I didn't mean to, but I was really thinking like when we learned about drinking and driving, they were like, you know, some people can have a point, you know, 24 can have a point you know 24 or 024 whatever it would be and uh and still drive okay whereas other people at 0.08 are a nightmare well yeah it might be interesting to to work those theories out maybe we all get to

a 0.08 and then we uh do a task maybe we do that. Imagine if we all had a thing to do, like a little hand puzzle or something to put together, some sort of dexterity test perhaps, or maybe some mental gymnastics. I feel like you're better mentally at figuring stuff out, even when you're drunk, but it's more your dexterity with your hands and hand-eye coordination and stuff, right?

Take our BAC to.08 and then have a 1v1 on shipment competition yeah well that might be interesting yeah yeah drunk cod yeah the only issue with it is that if you blow within like 15 minutes of taking your most recent drink so i was using it the other night with melissa on friday night with this showed up and so i went out and got drinks and i was like come on let's use it like let's get drunk and let's play with it and uh so we did and she took she had like one like 16 ounce pumpkin whatever the fuck beer and then blew it and it was like 0.05 0.04 whatever and then she had another one and i was like come on come on go

go go try it and she blew it and it was like 0.184 which would be enough that like you'd be that's like triple vote not triple but like over double the legal limit and so you're really really drunk i'm like that can't be right so blown into it we'd have to do it where like every hour we all agreed to finish our drinks wait about 15 minutes or so you don't think you could chase it you don't think if you just chase it with some water like the alcohol then you don't have the the like liquid alcohol in your throat and mouth then and it wouldn't get blown into the machine maybe i didn't try that i just i figured because i did the same thing to test it afterward and i'm like maybe some smart mouth yes maybe use some smart man ionize any of those alcohol uh fragments that might be floating around in there. Yes.

But anyway, I'm excited Kyle got it because I linked Kyle to this and was like, I got this for the drinking episode and maybe 40 seconds later you sent back, on the way. I looked at it and I was like, that's not prohibitively expensive. That would be a good prop. And I could use it, and I was like, that's not prohibitively expensive. That would be a good prop,

and I could use it in the future. And, yeah, that's an easy decision right there. That's going to be fun. It actually is a good idea to have one of these, so if you are drinking one evening, and you're like, man, I think I'm going to run to the Taco Bell or whatever, you can actually test yourself and be like, ah, you know,.12.

Not going to risk that that that's silly wouldn't do that or you go oh 0.04 looks like this guy's more sober than he thought he was and then talk about well i don't i don't know if i would trust it for that but uh i think it'll be interesting for a drinking episode um i uh i i think you'll be interested for a drinking episode. Yeah, let's get to it soon. I'm down. I thought it was funny when we challenged Shunise. That's what I was thinking a moment ago.

Challenging Shunise at like 3v1 drinking contest. But I think we need a fourth, honestly, to properly take him on. We need to get Chiz as our anchor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does he drink? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. For some some reason i thought he was right next to me it would have to be beers though i think because if you give him liquor and he like chugs a bunch of vodka then we're all just like well fuck that then we're not each doing four shots of vodka right now just to catch up well yeah that's the interest of fairness has to be beer for everyone if we ever try and do a drinking competition

I don't understand that It seems like if he wants to You know be the Hero of our team and do four shots Of liquor then he should be allowed to Nobody wants that Well in this hypothetical scenario He does

It's hard to get down anyway I feel like we have a better chance of competing with him in beers like like we can drink four beers pretty fucking fast if there's four drinking them you're saying if shoenice has access to like a glass not a glass a bottle of vodka then what are we going to do yeah so so for example a fifth of vodka is 24 ounces and what's a shot is that an ounce or like 1.5 ounces i think there you go so you're talking about like yeah you're talking about like 16 ounces 16 shots or something versus uh him that when he can chug it down in one fucking shot like like i don't want

the four three of us to then have to do five and a third shots a piece or something like that just to get even with the motherfucker but i could drink eight or nine beers i could over the course of four hours i could definitely drink eight or nine or ten beers i guess i'm good for four beers in four hours i think oh you gotta push to the limit well we'll see that's that's the beauty of the breathalyzer if you if you're like oh no i've had beer, and you're like,.001. And they're like, shh. You have to drink another beer. That's the goal. That's what keeps

us all honest, is it's not you have to finish your drink by the end of the hour. Breathalyzer works. The breathalyzer isn't how drunk you are or how drunk you feel. It's your blood alcohol content. That's very closely tied in. To someone who drinks a lot, then their tolerance allows them to be okay with a your blood alcohol content and that's very close to tied in to someone who drinks a lot then their tolerance allows them to be okay with a higher blood alcohol content than someone who

doesn't it's that's what we learned in school yeah but that's minuscule what what it would really more than anything is that like you'll get drunk faster your blood alcohol blood alcohol content is going to rise more quickly than taylor's that's not true because the blood alcohol content is going to rise more quickly than taylor's that's not true because the blood alcohol content is straight up if i understand this right like how much you drank versus your size and how drunk you are is really how much you drank your size and your tolerance yeah there's definitely a subjective thing in there but i mean it's far less subjective when we have a measuring device than if we were just doing it sans measuring device which is why i think this is a lot of fun and kyle when you do get yourself some pbr or whatever it is you have

and you want to you want to hop on a skype call or something and try these guys out that'll be fun or do it do it during a Civ game. Oh, a Civ game. We played the other night, and I did not take Taylor seriously enough, and he totally beat me. Oh. Yeah.

Ah! Lord of Russia! Strike hard! Strike fast! He did play with Russia. He even ate China. But Chiz suggested to me that he's been playing his Russia a lot, getting his Russia practice in, which doesn't take anything away from his win. But yeahia suggested to me that he's been playing his Russia a lot,

getting his Russia practice in, which doesn't take anything away from his win. But yeah, totally didn't take him seriously enough. And I made a bunch of excuses the other night, but I won't do that now. You could be Trump. I appreciate that. That's because it was really like the beginning of the game, I was kind of in a pissy mood.

Not a pissy mood, but kind of a mood of like, if I'm about to play 1v1 against a professional basketball player, it's like, yeah, this is like, I'm not going to win. I'm like, why am I doing this? But like maybe 50 turns in, I realized something must be going on

on Team Kyle over there in China because I kept pulling up the F9 score sheet and I'm like, I'm making more shit. I have more money by a lot. I'm happier. I have more people. I have the same number of cities, my military's way bigger. I'm like, this has got to be a trick.

There's something going on. Was your spawn bad, Kyle? What? It was really bad. I moved. I asked him if his spawn was bad. I moved, and I moved away from all my bonus tiles, so I kind of had to work just like grassland for 15 of the early turns. It just didn't go well.

There's a lot of excuses, but what matters is that Taylor managed his empire well, kept it happy, and built an effective army, and did well. That's what it took. I knew that if I took my foot off the gas, then you would pick it up and come back and win. Because that was the only way I could do it.

So basically I started a war in like 400 BC that lasted for thousands of years. Kyle kept being like, hey, you want to end this war? And I was like, nope. Because I just was pumping a constant stream of soldiers into his base. And these two little hot gate funnel points, I lost so many men in those hot gates. But I didn't relent. I just kept pumping them in, pumping them in.

And every time I would see Kyle, like, oh, the Chukonu came, his special two-shot crossbowman you get with China. Those things really fucked me up. Those are good. Because you only need like three of them, and they can take down anything, it seems like. But I just, he'd be like, oh, you got Musketman? Oh, you're sending in Musketman now? And then you would make Musketman, and I'd upgrade it to Great War Infantry or whatever.

He'd be like, oh, oh, it's over now. It's over now. But you still kept clinging on, because I couldn't get through those choke points. Yeah, it was, I was, that's why I just needed's over now. But you still kept clinging on because I couldn't get through those choke points. Yeah, it was, it was, it was, I was, that's why I just needed a little peace. Did you get airplanes? Yeah.

I did, and I had a field day for about, about 250, about a quarter of a millennium. My, the Russians had total control of the world's airspace to the point that I had like pikemen guarding his, his city or chukonu uh crossbowman standing guarding the city dealing with my infantry or whatever running at him and also i was sending great war bombers and those do a lot of damage on units that were born

a thousand years ago yeah yeah so yeah it was rough the um i'm glad kyle took it so well and made some excuses but also didn't take away the win for me because i was really pleased and happy i won yeah it was bad if i had ever gotten my piece because that that's what it was you were always about one tech ahead like if you had musket men and i had long swordsmen or you had riflemen and i still had my musket men or you had a great war infantry and i had my riflemen you were always that one step ahead so i couldn't push into you i always had to pull back and let you step up on the hill like what kind of i guess you're rolling in tanks at some point you won with cap he was tanks was coming up fairly soon and he was he couldn't get

any uranium i had i had nuke technology for like probably 30-40 turns and could never use them because on this big map there were two uranium and both of them were in Kyle's city. If he had gotten to that that might have been an interesting equalizer. That's what I was going for.

That's what we're going for and that's why again I wanted peace because all I needed was a few turns to reset and everybody coagulate back together and everybody build one building instead of one unit. Because my cities have been building units forever. No time to build the new science building, the new culture building.

Yeah, that war lasted forever. You kept trying to throw me off the trail by being like, oh, you proposed the World Games to make me put some production by being like oh you propose the world games to to make me put some production towards that and i was just like no no it's all soldiers you're not winning this war just there's something to be said for winning that kyle what do you get for winning the world like contributing the most towards it oh you get a lot of bonuses it's it's it's worth winning it um you get like there's like gold silver and bronze

um you get a free culture policy you get like 100 culture production for some odd number of turns did you put a lot into winning it me i assume you want it because no i didn't put any into it at all i was i was trying to throw him off the trail so i could yeah yeah i was just it might have been worth putting a little into it because then then you'd have won for very little. I think you won it anyway. I ended up winning it because I put one of my cities on it just in case. But all the other cities I kept pumping out infantry and whatever it was. I was just thinking, let him win all the awards and hang him up in a nice building in Beijing

because I'm about to conquer Beijing. And then I'll have all those rewards. Just re- re-etch them in Russian. Yeah, you got so far ahead of me in tech I couldn't catch up. I'm good enough that I can play one tech behind but I can't play one tech behind without the

resources that I need to do it. Oil is a big one and oil is up on the top of the tech tree whereas all the military techs are kind of on the bottom of the tech tree whereas all the military techs are kind of on the bottom of the tech tree so i had focused on these military techs to try to catch up and even though i was still one behind i i get to like my triplanes which is what i needed to kill your great war bombers and i have no oil because i don't have biology research and i'm like 20 turns from getting oil so yeah that that sealed the game there there were like eight times when like

i was like all right if this thing goes my way i can turn it around and it never did you got uh you got the freedom ideology before i could uh you uh i was surprised by that because i was focusing hard i don't know there's two ways to get your ideology you can either build uh three factories or i think it's a factory in every city in the mod. But build three factories or research one of the techs that's much more advanced. And I didn't know how you got there that much faster than I did. But yeah, it went badly. I want to play again. I know you do.

I know you do. But I want to do next one some sort of free-for-all game with more players. I played yesterday a free-for-all with fans. That was fun. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up if they're good, though. They're not as good as you. I feel like for the amount of time I've been playing this game, I've picked it up decently quickly.

These kind of games tend to make sense to me. It's a complicated game, isn't it, though? It's incredibly complicated. Like, I have such a hard time evaluating the amount of knowledge that I have on the game because I have this wealth of knowledge, all these details about specific civs and how they interact and how you can double up abilities and techs and religious tenets and how they all apply to one another and the math that's involved.

But I'll watch four hours of filthy playing, and I'll learn eight new things, and I'm just fuck how did i not know that like i was telling when we were playing the other night i was telling taylor something he's like oh that's it that's interesting to know and i was like yeah i learned that last week i got 1600 hours i learned that one last week um there's just so much and you know the new game's coming out on the 21st of october so you get a whole new book of bullshit to learn. I've been using the trick on AI, where you make a huge good trade to them for a bunch of cash,

and then you immediately declare war, and so you get all their money, and suddenly you're not sending them spices and salt or whatever it is anymore. And so I thought that was very clever. I didn't know about that. I like that. And the way that I always went on,

if I'm going to beat it on deity or even on immortal, if I'm sort of turtling up and trying... Can I interrupt? That's exactly how Iran structured their trade deal with us. They've got all the money up front and now they're supposed to behave for a decade and they might as well just yeah but Hillary says it's working great

and she wouldn't lie I feel like I changed the topic but I'm like that's the Iran trade deal right there anyway suffice to say I'm really enjoying Civ and I just wish the games were a little faster but I do like that the 1v1 game was quicker than any of the ones I played. Oh, yeah, and that was so drug out.

That was so drug out. If I had had a good game, I guess I'll just say it that way. If I had had a good game and things had all went well for me, there's a lot of coin flips along the way where you get a wonder and I don't, or you get a tech before me and that's a big deal. If I had won all my coin flips, the game would have been over at turn 130

or something like that, but I think we played a long game considering it was a pretty long. Because I had to conquer a city-state before I could get to you because of how good your defense choke points were on that map. His army was within, like, six tiles of my capital

the whole game fighting. And I was just keeping them right here in this section, just killing, just killing everything that came over and over for literally thousands of years. And those soldiers were so maxed out and ranked up, but when the bombers came, there was nothing to be done. And then you had a little, I sent lancers to the north around the mountain range.

You're fun to play with, because your responses are funny to things that happen, where you're like, ah, lancers to the north! And you have to go and defend. And if you don't seem to mind when your units are getting massacred where you're just like, oh no, oh geez, oh, he's almost got his pension. Yeah, because it's fun. It's a game

whether I win or lose, as long as I'm playing with somebody that I don't mind losing to. Now, if I lose to the PKA fans, I get pretty bitter, and I'll say GG, but I'll just get the fuck up on out of there. We're not going to have a long conversation afterwards. It's not going to be GG. That happened like six months ago, and he

didn't let it go for weeks. He really didn't like losing to PKA fans at all. You don't like losing to Chiz either. It depends how you lose. It really does, because there are types of losses in Civ that can sneak up on you, and you'll be like well i i

didn't know that that was in the rule book i didn't know that was an option to just you know to do that it's like in football when someone doesn't know all the rules and they just pick it up and run in a score and everybody and all the little kids are like i didn't even know you could do that like some if something like that happens to you you're like well it doesn't fucking count i was building crossbows not getting... Diplomacy is the lamest way to win, far and away. It's easy to fight against when you see it coming. You just have to know the signs. You have to see them building the wonders

that are indicative of that kind of win. You have to look and see them getting the culture policies that are indicative of that direction. You're both right, right? Like, okay, Kyle's right. It is the easiest to fight against. But Taylor's right. It is the lamest way to win. Yeah. Like, if you're gonna win

the world over, I think... Be surprised. This is totally subjective. Let me tell you how it can be cool. So, there are military city states in the game, and if you hover over them and look at their, like, nitty-gritty details, you'll find that when you're allied with them, they gift a unique unit that is taken from one

of the civs. So sometimes it'll be like the winged, they'll give you the winged hussar that the Polish have. And if you can get those as like the Chinese or something, it's incredibly powerful. So using patronage, you partner up with all the city-states, and the military city-states are giving you free units every five turns. They're giving you like double free units. They're giving you great people. They're giving you food, science, gold. The game goes into easy mode when you do that. But on the other hand, the way you counter it, of course,

is by killing people's city states and bribing them away from the person and then declaring war. That's the real way you kill a patronage player, a diplomatic victory. If you were going for that, and I saw all of a sudden that, like, three-quarters of the

city-states are all yours, I'd save up a bunch of money, buy them all instantly, as fast as I can click, and then declare war on you, which makes them all declare war on you, and they won't declare peace until I declare peace. So you just lost them for the rest of the game. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

That's how I would have won diplomacy in our game except i guess i didn't build the right shit because i was very focused on just doing it by conquering yeah i feel like that or culture or science are neither more satisfying ways to win but i also haven't ever won by science. So maybe I'm building it up. Yeah, I could... There were a lot of pointers I could give you that I didn't think I should give you during that game that would have helped you take my city a lot faster.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there was a ton. I should have been going through the water and flanking around, or building a city on that big area you left open around the corner and seeing if that would have been a good one. I'll tell you what would have been great. My coastal city, all you had to do was hit that with a frigate and you would have taken it.

Once you lower the health of a city down, you can hit it with a melee boat and you can conquer it. Frigate is ranged. A privateer, I mean. A privateer. But it doesn't matter how strong it is. It could literally be a warrior in a canoe. And he could hit it from the water and he would take it. So you just needed a melee naval unit to conquer that city.

And that would have given you a strong... That would have given you somewhere to put bombers. You'd have had bombers coming from both ways. And also you should have sent your cavalry units just running amok in my empire, pillaging tiles and roads. If you cut the roads between my cities, all of a sudden, I lose the gold bonus that those are creating. If you burn my

luxury resources, I go super unhappy and barbarians start spawning. If you burn my mines and my production centers, I can't build shit. I was very afraid you were going to do that. I should have done that. I was focusing a lot on stockpiling money to buy units,

and I had a huge amount of money. You had, yeah, yeah. That's one of the points when I was probably not going to win. The fact that you had $2,000 and I was losing gold meant that I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't know that you had $2,000 and I was losing gold meant that I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't know that you could go to a trade screen that would show what my opponent had willing to trade

and I went to it and I was like, it can't be right that Kyle is losing 9 gold a turn and has 0 and that I'm gaining 130 a turn and have 2,400, 2,200, whatever it was. That's when I realized there's no way that he can

catch up. First of all, we're inventing flight and they're building a water mill over there. So I think we got this taken a lot. No, that was a lot of fun. I enjoyed that. Anyway, we're rambling about Civ too much. Yeah, that's probably a show right there. Hope you guys enjoyed Civ talk and debate

talk. PKN, episode 111. That's probably a show right there. All right. Hope you guys enjoyed Civ Talk and Debate Talk. Yep. PKN, episode 111. See ya.