Painkiller Already - PKN #118

Episode Date: November 25, 2016

It's PKN time baby!

I pressed the button. There it is. Kyle was on quite the tail. We were all riveted about what dogs call things. It makes sense though. What would a dog call a human foot? It wouldn't say that's a foot. It would say that's a stomper. It would say it's a paw. No, that's not. This is a paw. Look at that. It got a big boot on it. Oh, it sounds like your your dogs had a bit of experience in the Toblerone factory in Estonia. Has he had any experience there

at our Triangle Candies? I just figured that dogs don't have lips and their tongue isn't the same as ours, so words don't come out the same either. They're not able to form though in their wolves. They can't really enunciate a lot because they're dogs. I think the greatest

single human invention will be when we fix that audio and when dogs and humans can communicate. Like, when we find a way to... Oh, you didn't hear him go robot-y for a minute? No.

No, I heard you go a little bit quiet, and then you were right back. It might have been you. Oh. It might have been me. But no, whenever we're able to communicate with the dogs, that's going to be huge. When we know what they're thinking and they know what we're thinking, we get one of those robo helmets to put on the dog. According to Rick and Morty, that does not work out well.

You know what? That's because they made him super intelligent. I just want to talk to my dog, not some not some hyper intelligent version that thinks he's a slave i want my dog to be about as smart as like a three-year-old like valuable smart so they're not going to come in and be like oh you're doing that on your taxes i think you can save some money if you would do this and i'd be like get the fuck out of here i'll have you fixed like that's what i want one that would just be honest like if i walk by naked and my dog sees me it would go hey it looks like you're putting on a little weight i'd be like

all right that's a valuable thing for the dog to say it's not lying it's looking out for my best interest thank you dog that's a nice little tip i'll watch that shit if that's something that you want i'm here bro you'll be in a parade around naked every day a service I provide why yeah that's that's that's what else could a dog the only thing a dog could conceivably do with the ability to speak is ruin secrets and ruin your life it couldn't devolve it's never going to go like you're never gonna go to the bathroom when your dog sitting there and you have a girl on the couch and he's going to go you know what he does when you're not around he helps the poor he's charitable he's very generous gracious with his time you know

socially conscious no it's going to be hey he was masturbating right there 40 minutes ago said he had to get the poison out prior to the date. The dog will never jump on that grenade of who passed gas. It'd just be like, it wasn't me. Oh, that was fine. I think my dogs are good dogs, so they would do those things. Let me clarify, that was not me. That was not my dog. Oh, man, now I want a friend of mine to have a talking dog

and for them to be on camera. I don't want my secrets divulged. I feel like you'd be a talking chimp man that'd be your talking shit that's dangerous because if it escapes the house your whole life could fall apart yeah it's gonna be swinging around screaming you're gonna get rights don't don't you can't mess around with talking champs that's too close to people they They'll start giving the chimp human rights. He gets out of your clutches. Now you can't make your money off your $10 billion talking golden goose that you've created at your house. All of a sudden he's on a talk show making his own money smoking a pipe.

You're getting laughed at. Poop tossing is a part of their culture. and so when you throw a fit about when you when you say chimpest things like that about them not being able to throw their feces if they can't have a traditional feces celebration passed down for millennia then i don't know where what world you're living in do you think you're better than chimps is that what you're saying carl i think i'm much better than a chimp that's what a trump supporter at least two steps on that old-timey evolutionary scale. That's a good joke.

We don't need to amnesty. All the chimps have a lot of citizens in zoos. You know what's... So I'm a little older than you guys. I feel like I've watched more presidents go through with a political interest. Obama has stopped sooner than other presidents. When Clinton was in his last two months, he has stopped sooner than other presidents.

When Clinton was in his last two months, he's like, what other shit can we get done? He tried to solve, he tried to have peace in the Middle East. That's before it was popular, that's before 9-11. He's working with Israel and Palestine, trying to block by block becoming an expert on who should own where. Obama is like, alright right trump here's what you need to know i gave my two weeks notice i'm getting the fuck out of here it's all on you baby you could almost see him in that clip of him and trump talking like when trump was looking at him and obama was kind of looking out the window you can see him looking like you know what the best part of my life is still ahead you know because he's one of the like if i had to be a president i would

pick obama for sure because he is you look at some of these presidents that get out of office and they look like they've been dead for weeks like their hair they're just like translucent skin like a newborn fish in those deep parts of the ocean where you like see the heartbeat like just so old and frail looking obama's like 55 so even though he aged like 15 years in this eight years he's still not like old man he has a lot of time he stayed in good shape the whole time i assume he's in good shape i know he's like so what if he smoked cigarettes better than you'll go back to smoking you think he'll start smoking publicly again? He didn't stop. He never stopped. Guaranteed. You're the president of the United States, and you go, actually, I'm going to give up this habit.

I always fall on it when I get stressed, and I think it's something we don't need anymore in the White House. It's like he's not. He's ripping those things. Guaranteed. I don't know about ripping. I think Biden's going to do it. He smokes, though. He was interviewed by Bill Maher recently.

And did you guys see this by chance? Oh, I'm going to do Obama's. I'll do both parts. So Bill Maher's like Did you guys see this by chance? Oh, I'm going to do Obama's I'll do both parts. Bill Maher's like, hey, did you stop smoking? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I stopped smoking. Bill's like, did you really stop smoking? Yes, I completely stopped smoking. Did you really stop smoking? Yeah, I don't smoke anymore. Just like that. He slipped a wink

in. And rather than Bill Maher like understanding some, and I like Bill Maher, Mar, whatever his name is. Me too. But rather than him, like, obeying some sort of bro code, being like, all right, I got your answer. He's like, what? No, you just winked at me right there. Are you saying you do still smoke?

Dick, he would have said that if that's what he wanted to say. He slipped in a wink now he's bringing journalism back you know i'm not letting that week slide just because you're the president you know you gotta explain you know what what's your brand your favorite oh imagine how much like tobacco ceos would be high-fiving each other if obama like let it slip the brand of cigarettes that he likes oh we know it's like the same one company that owns all of them. We've seen them with them. Really?

You'll never guess. Oh, I won't. Okay. Well, it is Marlboro, but it's Marlboro Reds. It's Marlboro Reds. Cowboy killers. Marlboro is like super. Marlboro is like saying, does it burn?

Like most of them are Marlboro. That's like the most popular one, But it's Marlboro Reds, the cowboy killers, not the one that you would think that an urban black president would want. You would think you would have menthols, right? That's what I was – I couldn't think of a term. You'd think that you would have Newports are a popular menthol, Kool is a popular menthol, and that is the end. That's all that I know.

So I would assume one of those. Right. I liked Kool cools back in the day but when you did smoke cigarettes you smoked menthols didn't you yeah always i liked menthols um i liked cools uh when i was like 19 or something like that and then i transitioned to uh to marlboro smooths when those became a thing because they're pepperminty and delicious in my head it all spurned out of a way to sell more cars like you know brother comes on the car a lot kyle produces some newports like hey you need one yeah bro i got you like now and i want you to picture yourself smoking this newport in a brand new gently used Pontiac Sunfire you know pre-certified pre-certified Kelly Blue Book Valley we're barely charging more than that so you know you're getting a deal

yeah that's about right yeah that um I I don't smoke cigarettes but like a couple times a year when I am out with friends like hey we're out on a porch or somewhere an outside bar and they offer me a cigarette it's there they all kind of blend together in the flavor department because I don't smoke enough to differentiate between a Marlboro red and a camel blue or whatever they are but that's what she says he has the camel crush I I've had some of those two that's the one where you smash the BB and then it becomes menthol but everyone's well I was saying when you get a menthol and you don't expect it, it's kind of like, oh, that's just like, it's like fooling me into thinking that I have some freshness, some cleanness in my mouth. Like, they're like, oh, my mouth doesn't smell like a cigarette. It doesn't smell like this thing's asshole.

It smells like peppermint. Like, that's kind of the illusion they're trying to give you. But, yeah, I don't see how you could just sit and smoke those things.'re a little bit intense i think so taylor you've been playing cod a lot of it uh well actually that's not even fair kyle and chiz are beating me in the the prestiging and the ranking so far so i'm in third but i am playing a lot i just prestige last night i think i'm like level 12 or 15 or something prestige one um i i really i didn't go into it thinking like oh it's gonna be such a letdown like everybody's gonna like suddenly those rose-colored glasses are gonna get shattered and people are gonna think it sucks again because of three times frag and everything no not at all maybe it's still in the phase where everybody's

just loving it because it's old and you're still in nostalgia but i'm i sincerely enjoy it as a game more than any call of duty i've played in so long because it finally feels and you're still in nostalgia, but I sincerely enjoy it as a game more than any Call of Duty I've played in so long, because it finally feels like more of it has to do with gun skill than, oh, I just fell ass backwards, and oh, look at that, a domination flag that nobody's standing around.

I'll capture that and get my point streak, and then I'll call in this BS thing where explosive orbs fall from the sky, and then they roll around and kill everyone. This just adds to the helicopter. I'm happy. Why is that so much different? Okay, first of all,

my experience, capping flags is hard as fuck. You're standing out in the open taking on all comers. I see capping a flag and standing there saying I fucking dare you. We all know I'm here. We all know where I am. You even try it, I'll kill you. In this game, though. In this game, you're right. I'm saying in the old games, where when you...

You know how the point streaks, you capture the flag and it counts as a kill, basically? Yeah, it should. It's fucking harder than a kill. Or any kills you get on it should count as double because you're at the disadvantage. It's like putting yourself on the map it's i always thought capping flags was way fucking harder than the jackasses who just go around the the borders and kill people and act like they're good um and then uh so i think it should count towards your kill streak that was the other thing i was gonna say oh why is the helicopter so much different than like like, orbs that chase you? Because it's, like, the orbs that chase you, there's so many things on the ground running around at you.

They're so quick that, like, you're wasting bullets on them, and then by the time you realize it's too late and you should have started running away, you've got three bullets into it, and it's six feet away, and it explodes, and you're dead. Whereas with a helicopter, it still feels like, okay, there is the Huey. I can either shoot it down, which everybody should be in this game

because they're made of paper. I kill them all night. I kill five every night. It takes three quarters of an RPD magazine to kill a helicopter. Either that or one full magazine, and that's it. So I've been killing a ton of those. I've been using the RPD more than any gun but the M16. But yeah, I'm liking just the back to basics kill streaks i feel like it's more of an even playing field and the only thing that makes it not an even playing field is the fact

that kyle and i played this game nine years ago and it first came out and lots of the people who are playing it against us right now were four years old nine years ago and so we have a distinct map advantage we know where the stuff is i i it's almost like like you know those movies where somebody wakes up and they remember shit from like a different life like in the past i feel like that's what i'm doing with three times frag just i start a map and it's like some ghost is taking control of my hands and i just and then i just start running. And I'm like, why'd you throw it in those places? And it's like, I don't really know.

And it's like, pop, pop, pop. Oh, that's why you threw it in those places. That was just that muscle memory of I'm on bog. I need to run to this point, throw two over there, throw a stun over there, see if I can get it on that flag and then follow immediately with that third frag and then run in. And oh, man, I'm just being inarticulate right now, babbling'm having so much fun with this game i'm loving it yeah i uh i've been enjoying it um i play it differently at different times you know it's it's not just one game for me because i play

it in like three or four different ways there's days when it's not even about winning or losing it's about making the other people angry i just want to hear them scream and you know i'm not gonna cheat but i'm gonna play like a real asshole like i'll put my martyrdom on kill confirmed it's about making the other people angry. I just want to hear them scream. And, you know, I'm not going to cheat, but I'm going to play like a real asshole. Like, I'll put my martyrdom on, kill confirmed, sonic boom, grenade launcher, stuff like that. But then I'll play cage match, and I'll just hide. I'll get up by three or four kills,

and I'll go find a really good hiding spot, and I'll lay there and just listen to them get angry. And maybe they eventually find me and kill me. But I'm just going to hide again, because I'm up by, like, four kills. And in ten minutes, they're maybe they eventually find me and kill me. But I'm just going to hide again because I'm up by like four kills. And in ten minutes, they're not going to find me enough time. So they're spending their ten minutes haunting me down while I watch Netflix and listen to them get angry.

But then sometimes I like to camp super hard with a UAV jammer and an M21 in hardcore and just let my killstreaks rinse and repeat on their own. Every chopper getting me another chopper. That's pretty outrageous. You still have to die to call in your next one? Yes. Yeah, just run out and die. You don't have to walk for very far in hardcore

before they just kill you. They're waiting just beyond the outside of your door, really, just with a gun. Has that ever been a problem for you? Like, you get your killstreak at seven, and then you're like, I'm going to play super aggressively and run around and then like three minutes later you're like man i just killed like six more guys and nobody's killed me this is getting to be a waste that could have been

another chopper if i just let that's what it gets nah that's the most fun i think because that you're so carefree in that moment you're like i dare you to kill me come on come on and you're just and sometimes it goes your way for like 10 seconds in a row. And that can be really fun. That can be really empowering. I'm digging it too. There's a lot of member berries involved with this game. It's just every time something happens the way it used to,

I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember when we used to do that. But then there are things that are lacking and things that are different. One of the things that's just different is that the bullet connection is just better. So every gun in the game is a little bit better. So the M16, which was great, is now incredible. But guns like the G36 and the M4, I feel like, are pretty usable now.

Because it takes three bullets to kill at long range. And if you keep the sight on them, it'll actually work now. The RPD used to be trash because it seemed like the bullet connection just didn't work for the first round or maybe two that came out of the RPD. So you'd drop shot. And you'd be like, wow, it took me nine bullets to kill that guy from an RPD. Why?

Because the first two didn't fucking work. But now they do. Now the first two out of every gun is just a laser beam shot that kills, kills, kills. The RPD is maybe it's just i'm going you know how you go on hot streaks with certain guns and that's like all you use where it's like man silent scorpion is my jam and then three days later you're like this thing's fucking

awful i could just knife instead yeah rpd with foregrip it's better than the m16 for me at least in this game because you're only a little bit slower your aim down sight is only a little bit slower so you just have to play it like 20 more conservatively but you've got more ammunition than you need for the reason that kyle said of you're no longer shooting across the map and going trying to get those like first two hits you just you know hold like almost like semi-automatic, like pop, pop, pop, and then just kill them like that. It's so good. So good. And the iron sights

are usable, which is good because you have to use that foregrip with LMGs or they suck. Yeah. I don't like Search and Destroy. Oh, the footsteps. That's what I was going to say. The footsteps are not as good as they were.

They're definitely changed. I don't hear my own footsteps the same way, and I don't hear the enemy footsteps the same way in all ways. Whether I'm the one with dead silence or they're the ones with dead silence, all of the footsteps in the game are different. And I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, but I'm just not as accurate with my sound horror. I can't. It's got

to be search and destroy, and I've got to really be trying hard. And I still usually need to stand still or crouch walk or something that makes you even more silent. And they've added some sounds to the game. So now, you know, if you shoulder your weapon, it makes a little noise. Just like it would in real life when you bring a rifle up to your

shoulder. There's a little clink clink and a little shuffle on the cloth and i can hear that now um you pull the pin on the grenade i can hear that shit like i'm just like where the fuck are they and i hear a guy click clink and i'm like oh god he's right fucking there um you can hear them pull pins on grenades as soon as i hear tink i'm like oh not this room like start backing out um but i can't hear things like bomb diffusals. I don't know that I can hear it anymore. I've played a lot of Search and Destroy, and it's rare that I get into the clutch situation anymore.

For whatever reason, it seems like it's just mostly destroying. Everybody just runs into each other and dies. There's not a lot of bomb play. But I don't know if you can hear it being diffused anymore or not, which was kind of my favorite part about it. It would be a big oversight if you could no can hear it being diffused anymore or not, which was kind of my favorite part about it. It seems like it would be a big oversight if you could no longer hear it being... Because all that you used to do is clear the area, plant it, and then run to a little safe space, get down, and then you just wait for the...

Beep, boop, beep, beep, beep, boop, beep, beep. And then you run over and kill them. I think they took the beep, boop, boop away, so you can't play that one. Maybe it's making it better by forcing you to actually guard the bomb in your visibility. Yeah, but you can't guard the bomb against six guys. That was the cool thing is, like, even if it's just you left over to guard that bomb and there's six of them, you can get in your hiding spot, and as soon as you hear that briefcase click, you can throw your grenade.

And they never know where it came from. It just blows up and kills the guy. And then maybe you can pop out, kill two, and then just run away really far. But you're listening the whole time, playing a game with them where you don't care if you kill them all or not. You just want that bomb to go off.

We're talking about the plant or the defuse? When you're guarding the bomb and the enemy's trying to defuse. Yeah, well, that allows for the ninja defuses, which are fun. Well, it's... You mean the inability to hear it? Yeah, so the ninja defuse, you guys probably know,

but for listeners, what people used to do is hide, like, right next to the bomb, waiting for you to plant it. And then as you plant it, they'd get their character right up, pretty much between his legs, and wait. And then they'd, like, plant the bomb and run away. You'd instantly defuse. It takes diffuse it takes like what seven seconds and if they just didn't look behind them for seven

seconds you'd win the round but if you could hear the diffuse and that wouldn't work you could hear it though the reason you could that it didn't help in that i know exactly what you're saying is time them right after one another the closing of the briefcase on the planter's side makes noise, and it makes almost the same noise as the opening of the briefcase for the diffuser. So to the planter's, it just does like the boop, boop, boop, close sound effect, and then they stand up to run away, and that sound of it closing and the other guy opening it is like almost the exact same time.

They get mixed together, and it's easy not to hear both sounds. You can still hear both sounds, but even now, like when I plant a bomb, like this week as I'm playing and I plant a bomb, I get up, take three steps, and then I turn around and fucking look. Because once somebody does that shit to you, it's branded in forever. That's not muscle memory. That's a scar, and you feel it every time. Everybody's been ninja defused at least once

because you feel like a boob right afterward where you're like, oh, oh, what a dunce I am. I should have just turned it around. I don't play search hardly at all, but when I do, I always check for it because I don't want to... I don't like search because everybody's watching me and I know I'm not confident enough

in my Call of Duty abilities that I'm like, all right, everybody sit back and watch the show. It's more like if i kill one of them they won't get mad you know if i get two of them they can't be like hey you sucked i'll be like i got two you know it's more than you got i love that moment i like having all that pressure on me when it's not real pressure anyway it's just kind of pseudo pressure it's it's like it doesn't matter if i win or lose but i really want it and they really want it it's it's it's something really unique to call of duty i mean if we'd all gotten together and they were watching me play basketball and i lost it'd be a big fucking deal that's what the night was wrapped around but this is just a game of call

of duty so there's like a really small version of that winning for the home team kind of moment that you get and you know it's it's it's it feels really good especially if you like really shit on the guy if you run and like jump out a window over his head and turn around and shoot him in the back or something or if you do something silly with sniper rifle to get your win it's always fun have you been humiliated by any snipers yet how does a sniper in the past i certainly have um but is it like you're running around and then you die and you're like, what the hell happened? And then you watch the kill cam and it's some dude who was just on a building that, like, jumps off and then does, like, the, oh, now I got my pistol out.

Oh, now I got my rifle out. Oh, I got my pistol out. Oh, I got my rifle out. Bang! And they kill you and you feel like an asshole. That happened to Tucker on a live stream and it was awesome. Like, it's one of those one of those gifs that goes down in the legend

he dies and you don't even know why and then you see the kill cam and it's just that the guy must have taken an elevator to the top of Crossfire you would know but there are these glitches called elevators where if you stand on just the right pixel or something it takes you to the top

and the guy must have used a glitch to get to a building you can't get to he jumps off the building he does like a 360 double yy fakey trick whatever and uh and kills tucker and tucker is like fuck it throws his headphone off walks off webcam. He might have been amping it up for the camera, but it was pretty hilarious. He did a good job. I'm going to find this video. I just watched it today. Hutch uploaded a kill cam from the new game.

The new Call of Duty? Yeah. It was a ridiculous kill cam that happened in their lobby. It's so stupid. Huh. You have me curious. Yeah, I'll have it just a second here. I haven't played the new Call of Duty.

I accidentally clicked the button that says Infinite Warfare on my game and immediately backed out. I was like, oh no, I put the wrong thing. Oh no. Mistakes were made. I almost had to play that game. you didn't want to play the jetpack space game i wanted to play call of duty you know there's something to be to be said about the role-playing aspect right like i don't know who the fuck i am playing infinite warfare uh in this

you know it's i know all of these bad guys i know the good guys it's marina i'm igor of the the you know russian special forces there you go oh you know capture the objective and then i'm the bomb has been planted i'm up i'm up akhmed on that there's somebody who's this just sparked a memory of all these old youtube videos the memories are so many fucking member berries. There is a guy's YouTube channel. It's spelled Yamagahalof. Say it again, Kyle.

Yamagahalof. Yamagahalof. It's like Yamagahalof. That's the name of his YouTube channel. And he used to post compilations from other people's channels. And I would go to Yamagah go home and check out his content but and you looking back it's funny because they probably couldn't do that in a game now of just being like hey what do we have this character do i just stream something it sounds like arabic you know it is arabic it means like frag grenade out or something let's

watch this video it's a minute ready are you guys are ready i am am ready. I'm gonna play they're going for the Turk shots again All of them shit And he got it Wow game are we watching This is like if I were to show my dad Not a single character as a human at this point. There's one human in the back watching over everyone. And he's not even in the game. No, that's robot maintenance.

These are all robots. This is the same problem with Westworld. There's nothing at stake. Look at this. It's like three complete spins and a no scope while he's off of a floating hover map or something. Or maybe it's in a giant ice fissure.

I don't know. Looks like an ice planet if I'm being honest. And nobody can even see who he shoots. He's just spinning forever. And then at one point he shoots and that's the final kill. I have no idea what he hit. No, no one does.

And he's got a pink sniper rifle. It was the guy to his left. Huh. That was a teammate. The guy that was floating in the air. I don't know who the fuck he shot. Oh, I thought it was the other guy. Okay.

What a piece of shit. That game looks really not fun. When Taylor said, what game are we watching? I'm like, yeah, I don't even know this game. I've got days and days of playtime in cod and i don't recognize that game in season like 23 they decide to make south park live action and like randy walks in and he's like sharon i'm home and everybody goes ah ha ha ha and you hear like the clap and the live crowd like it's just it's not what i remember it to be and that makes

it like of course it's probably still a really fun game. If that's what you're into, maybe. I don't know. It's just not what I remember Call of Duty as. One of the things was that there would be... Alright, so there's like a dozen assault rifles and six or eight sniper rifles every time. And they all seem so goddamn powerful in one way

or another. There would always be a gun that could see through a wall. There would always be a gun that could see through smoke. I like having some safety areas in the game. I like being able to be like, like, like jump out kill three guys and then run and jump behind an actual brick wall and be like, no one knows I'm here. I have UAV jammer perk. No one can see me from any kind of radar and just know I'm safe for three fucking seconds so I can catch my breath, my character can heal again. But in every single iteration of this Call of Duty for the last

three or four years, it seems like that's never the case. These guys have bullets that can literally track me. The first bullet tags you and all of a sudden bullets are flying through the air. I think that was a thing. Or you'll be finding yourself sitting in a corner, your character's

going, as the red kind of pulsates and fades and you're looking around and in any other call of duty you're like all right i'm safe and then in the new ones you look up and then there's some motherfucker stuck to the wall above you with this with this you know uh sticky hand pad perk he's got the spider hand on top of you and snaps your neck and you're like what what what's happened what game am i playing a robot just just assassinated me from the skies this is this isn't call of duty but it is call of duty and i feel like that's like an old person argument not saying like oh i'm so old because i'm not comfortable anymore they're not people anymore like it's not like they just put on different

shirts and got better guns as it went they're not human beings fighting each other with guns anymore and that's what the game was right that we were fighting other human beings fighting each other with guns anymore. And that's what the game was, right? That we were fighting other human beings with guns and grenades. Yeah, it was supposed to be groups that you're familiar with. Like, oh, this is the United States. This is Russia. This is the terrorist cell or whatever. And this is the Brits. Like, it's teams that you've learned

and they're real. They're representative of actual armies. Yeah, it's like, this is the And when they exist, it feels a little more real and a little more grounded and a little more real a little more grounded a little more attached to something that's substantive whereas i is john snow uh one of the voices of this game kit harrington because i because i just saw like one of the cgi characters who was in space he was like he was talking some space smack he's like we're gonna go back to earth and show them but i looked and it looked just like john snow from from game of thrones and i was wondering

like is he part of the game now? Does Conor McGregor play a big part in the game? I haven't played the game. I haven't looked into the game at all. That would shock me if Conor McGregor was in it. He's in it. Is he? He's in the game?

Let me confirm that. As one of the robots? What does he do? Conor McGregor. Boy, I was such a fierce fierce fighter they downloaded me brain into one of these robots I thought Connor you gots two belts. We can't let you out of here We got to put general button see what you can do Space I've been in this robot party for 10,000 years. I want to kill myself, but it's impossible at this point.

I'm backed up on the cloud. Even if I die, I'm stuck in this perennial nightmare. Please, someone go into the mainframe and delete me. I'd love nothing more than a sweet embrace of death. That's pretty fucking good. He is in the Call of Duty Infinite Warfare. So it looks like they're mapping him in. Yeah, I just skipped ahead, ignoring the...

Let's do a ready, set, play. Ready, set, play. I was addicted to it at one stage for a while, and I wasn't training so much as I was playing the game. So to get an opportunity to actually take part in the game, I died at it. There was a stage where I'd like... Yeah, they got him motion capped for one of the single player characters, I guess. That's pretty cool. I'd go training. He, um...

Oh, shit, I wasn't showing the video to people. Well, sorry, everyone, you heard it. Hey, rest assured, real cool. It was kind of a Gregor with, like, little balls attached to a wet suit he's wearing so they could like mocap him and you want to talk about ufc next that was nuts yeah just real quick conor mcgregor it's okay so here's the deal before the ufc 205 he's talking to eddie alvarez and he's bragging about how rich he is oh I've got all this money and Eddie Alvarez is amazing he's not taking any shit

and usually you can't talk trash with Conor and he shut Conor McGregor the fuck down with regards to trash talk he's like what? you talking about money to me? you had a job you quit your job and got on welfare so you could train and play call of duty

and you want to talk about mother to me you welfare taken motherfucker on the dole this and that and connor was just like kind of welfare connor not anymore uh but yeah he literally how connor got his career started is he quit his job as a plumber and went on welfare and trained all the time and played Call of Duty. That's, like, his history. And Eddie Alvarez called him out on that. I thought Eddie was going to win, and I was wrong. Oh, my God. Conor McGregor, it seemed like everything he wanted to happen in that fight just happened.

Like, nothing went outside of Conor's plan on that fight. There were a couple reasons I thought Eddie would win. He fought in a higher weight class, so I thought Eddie would be bigger. And people were saying he was bigger. Wonderboy, who fights at 170, was like, Eddie Alvarez is bigger than me. I saw him in the weigh-in, and I could see that Conor was taller. But that European motherfucker wears platform shoes to his face-offs. So I'm like, I can't tell who's taller because Conor McGregor's got on, like,

women's cowboy boots or something. And, like, I can't tell who's taller. And everyone's saying how big Eddie is, so I figured Eddie was much bigger, like Nate Diaz, but world champion version of, like, big and strong. No, when they got in the octagon and they were both barefoot, Conor was still taller. They're the same size virtually. And Conor kept saying that.

He's like, you can't bring somebody in here that's the same size as me. You've got to find somebody with an edge, not a big tall guy or a big giant or something. I think Conor could smell the top of his head. Like, it's, yeah. He said it because that was Nate Diaz. Nate Diaz was really long, so that was how he was able to beat

him and eventually lose to him, but hang with him. I really enjoyed that fight. Dude, Conor just took it to him. Is there a GIF version of it? I didn't watch it, but I've heard that Conor really fucked him up. That's correct. One GIF doesn't tell the whole story. Conor had four knockdowns.

Alvarez explained the whole thing, right? Sure. Dude, I see everything. Basically, Alvarez's thing was like, look, I did the opposite of everything I was supposed to do. He was circling right, which would take him to Conor's left, which is like the touch of death. He's like, I was supposed to be wrestling, putting pressure on, circling to the left.

Instead, I'm boxing and circling to the right. I did everything that Conor would want his opponent to do, and I paid for it. That was Eddie's take on it. Eddie had just beat the fuck out of Dos Anjos, and I want to say Dos Anjos is a Southpaw too. A couple of Eddie Alvarez's better fights were against Southpaw, so I thought that he would really have an answer for Conor McGregor.

Nope. Nope. Nope. No answer whatsoever. He may have it, but he didn't have it that night. He looked scared. He looked intimidated by the show. I got more. Anthony Pettis is a very good fighter.

Super great striker. Maybe as good a striker. Well, I guess not as good as Conor McGregor. But he's just very good at what he does. And Eddie Alvarez was able to beat Anthony Pettis by just pressuring him, pressuring him. These great strikers aren't great strikers if you don't give them any space, right? No one can hit you if you're a foot from them or less, right? They're just outside of their punching zone. It's not the range. It's

not where the sweet spot is. So Eddie Alvarez just pressured Pettis all night long. I thought he'd do it to McGregor. Instead, he boxes and circles into McGregor's power hand, and it did not. I didn't bet a penny. I hope you guys didn't bet a penny either. I told you not to on my prediction. And damn, I was so sure. I was so sure. I was like, I should bet 10 grand and make some free money out of this. I nearly did it with Clinton too. I'm on a real not bet hot streak. I have saved $20,000 thus far by not following my stupid predictions. fights that day. I think this fight started at like 7pm or something. By the time Connor was done and had said his whole thing to Joe, it was like 1 in the morning

I think. It was so late. But I watched a bunch of fights. I watched the prelims, I watched the FS1 fights, and of course I watched the pay-per-view. I thought the Misha Tate fight was lame. Did she lose? She lost and then retired from the sport. Literally. Yeah, that's how it went um because she just really got handled um do you think that was an

emotional decision yeah she said joe asked her he's like was this planned or was this because of the the result you know and she's like yeah you know because the result it's like if the san jose sharks last year their manager just found out. They're like, fuck it. No more hockey in San Jose. You keep the trophy, Pittsburgh. Fuck you. We're done.

The two Polish chicks. That was an outrageous fight. There's more Misha Tate. So on the topic of that before we get off it. So Misha Tate was a little banged up. She got punched a lot. And Dana White wanted her to go to the hospital and get taken care of. For people that don't know, the UFC pays all their medical bills that are fight and training related.

And Misha's like, no, no, no, I don't want to go there. I want to go to the post-fight conference and stuff. And Dana's like, no, you got to go to the hospital. And she's like, fuck you, Dana White. I don't work for you anymore. So he's like, all right, well, huh. If you go to the hospital, there might be a job in the UFC for you afterwards. What do you think of that?

Like, he was talking about, well, where is she? Go to the hospital. Jesus. They're like, where is she? He's like, oh, she's at the hospital. I think she didn't go. I don't think. Oh, she did go.

Did I have it wrong? I think she went, yeah. Yeah, she went. But he had to, like, really sweeten the deal, and she was, like, cursing him out. Khabib in the beginning of Gaga. Khabib is a scary, scary man. Now, what weight class is he in? Who is it they're protecting from that man?

Or at least he thinks it, because as Dana said, he's screaming at him before the fight and between every round, give me title, give me title! Who was his opponent? Michael Johnson. That's the guy that Joe Lozon fought in Boston. We were there in person. I thought it was.

He tortured that poor man. Yes. I was watching. It was a jujitsu clinic. It looked like a guy who was a black belt was on a guy who was a blue belt or something. He was like, you see this guy? He thought he knew something. Watch this. See how he can't move his left arm anymore? And I've got my right arm free? Now watch this. He big brothered him. The move is called a crucifix. So basically,

he's sitting on one arm and he's holding it. They have one on one arm and then his crotch is sitting on the other arm and he's just pounding him in the face. And his opponent is like, well, notify the post office. Send my mail here because I'm not going anywhere. Khabib Nabogatov is on top of me, and I'm fucked. It was dangerously close to being stopped every single time it went to – within like 25 seconds of it going to the ground i was like oh god any second now any second now because like the guy can just he can defend himself but just barely by the

like webster's definition of defending yourself he's applying effort in an attempt to make the man stop hurting his brain but that's about all he's doing because the man just keeps hurting his brain and anything else that looks looks tender if he balls up just right and the ribs are exposed he'll give him a couple liver shots back there hard don't have to defend yourself you just have to make intelligent decisions like he's gonna try well what it is is that the ref is looking at the the losing fighter and determining whether or not that guy is making the right calls to deal with this problem. If it's not working, they'll let him keep going at it.

Like that's what they did with Chris Weidman when Luke Rockhold was beating him. There's a long history of that. He just has to be doing intelligent things to counter what the guy on top is doing. Even if it's not working, if he keeps making good decisions, then they let the fight keep going. Well, they shouldn't because that man got tortured for three rounds and I had to

watch it all. I think he was a sub win. I think he won by a sub, didn't he? Yeah, I think he was going to tear his shoulder out, right? I think he had a Kimura on him or something. McGregor won by submission? No, no, we're talking about...

I watched like 15 fights that night. Yeah, there was a bunch of them. And this is one of them where a submission specialist really took apart a guy who I think is more of a... I'm sure he's got a jiu-jitsu background, but I thought that Johnson was more of a stand-up guy. But, man, Johnson looks like a turtle on his back. He looks like he has no experience on the ground

because this Abib guy just had him outclassed like a big brother over a little kid. He's getting full control at any point and just really hurting him as he went. It didn't seem like he could finish the fight until he wanted to. It was almost like he wanted to hurt him for a while and then he went for the Kimura at the end.

That was not fun to watch. The other end, I guess, was that fight, and I can't remember the fighter's name, but that really scary black guy who kneed the guy in the skull and busted his skull apart. That was surprising. On the Khabib thing and busted his skull apart. Yo, Romero did that to Chris Weidman. Yep.

That was surprising. On the Khabib thing, you asked, before we get off that topic, you asked who they were protecting. He's 155, so he fights in the new belt that Conor just won. I thought so. And we'll see. The trouble with him is that he's made of glass, Khabib. Like his knees keep busting up or something. And prior to UFC 205, he had like one fight in the last three years he just he's like connor calls him a pullout merchant

you know every time the guy gets a bruise on his thigh he pulls out of a fight and if you're a ufc like owner like a matchmaker you have to like, oh, does this guy get a championship shot, knowing very well that he might be pulling out of main events all the time? Well, and also, I don't know if Abib is as good on camera as Conor McGregor, who is the greatest that there's ever been in that sport on camera. That's probably a real motivating factor. It's like, hmm, do I want the Russian Muslim to be my champion who can barely speak English and wears that big fuzzy

Russian fur hat? Or do I want Conor McGregor who commands the nation of... Habib comes out and he's like, Russia have 143 million! Ireland only seven! It's fucking Borat up there.

Come to great country of kazakhstan has fermented goat milk none of this irish piss beer another thing about khabib is he observes ramadan so he like fasts for what is that like a month or something always in shape yeah so well like so like when you think about that it's like all right well these guys cut weight like infidel's throat they do it they do a two-month training camp and then so that can't happen during ramadan and then the fight can't happen during ramadan it cuts off like a quarter of the year because he doesn't eat for a month or something yeah it makes him not uh the guy you want as your hood ornament for the UFC, which is what they got with Conor McGregor.

And they hope they get back as Ronda Rousey. If they get Ronda Rousey back again, then every event is going to be Conor and then Rousey right after. They're just going to keep rolling them. She'll fight one more time, I bet. We'll see. I hope, you know, maybe maybe so i saw her in that commercial the other day she sure looked doughy you know i i gotta say she looked doughy she didn't look like

the best female athlete and fighting athlete in the world she didn't like the best female anything in the world she looked doughy um as doughy as like um the strongest chick at a gym anywhere like like like you know not, just like a real strong. Not a lot of definition. She looked ready to play women's softball. She could hit it. Like she was the ringer on the softball. Like people would look at her and go, thank you.

No, she's not big enough for that. She's not big enough to be the ringer on the softball. Now, I know a chick named Heather Vaughn who is like 6'1", 145, 155 pounds walking around. She's the ringer on the softball team. She pitched for fucking Alabama. Yeah, that's like 6'10 in men height. Ronda Rousey's a small girl compared to a man. And we don't need to get back into that whole conversation.

But I just thought she looked out of shape, especially being a commercial. She was wearing, I don't know what to call them But like there were shorts But really tight shorts and you could see like her love handles were like rolling over her like sure it's a little show Was it in the commercial with a little girl? Yeah, cuz I'm looking better now What was the commercial for she has all these commercials where she's basically just a bully who comes along and extorts people out of things or? Threatens them and makes them give her things. Why does she do that?

Is that not basically the commercial? I don't see any commercials. Why does she do that? I thought we were just talking about that. It's the one where she's with the little girl and she comes to back the little girl up and they threaten somebody. I can't remember the specifics, but I'll find it. Where do you see these commercials? Is it like a bully your way out of bullying campaign?

You can't be bullied if they're already dead. I'll like go to hotels or relatives, families, and see TV for like the first time that year. And all the commercials are new to me. I'm like following the plot lines and like, you know. Oh my God, this Lexus is racing a snowball. Who will get to the bottom of the mountain first? The snowball is coming right for the car. Well, Melissa, you've got to get in here.

I didn't think Chevy was the number one car manufacturer again. Again. No, this isn't it. No, I know, Melissa. No, it's four years running. Four years running. Chevy on top of Ford and Chrysler. God, I hate that.

Number one selling truck. What do you think running? Chevy on top of Ford and Chrysler. God, I hate that. Number one selling truck. What do you think is behind this curtain, the best truck? Well, I think it's probably a Ram 1500. I bet you would think that, retard. What do you think it is? I think it's a Ford F-150. Oh, long, nice guess, idiot. Oh, what is it really?

It's Chevy. I hate those commercials. I hate them. They seem so insecure is it really? It's Chevy. Like, I hate those commercials. Wow. I hate them. They seem so insecure about the Chevy. It's fine. You make a fine truck. Stop.

People leave you. Check out Rhonda in this commercial. Are you guys ready? Yep. Ready. Ready, set, play. At SeanUFC86 tweeted, he could beat me at thumb wrestling. He's a little heavy.

Hey, Sean. What? Or maybe not. I heavy Maybe not like hey, can we be friends? Let's just so happy to meet you Just like Sean figured out that it's easier to keep up with Rhonda on his phone and in real life they're gonna love Keep up with really great UFC fighters anytime anywhere with Metro PCS on the team that was bad commercial $30 standing up than she did on the couch on the couch I was like my god what happened oh there's another one I'm trying to find it like for Metro PCS for this little girl involved and like little girls like dressed up like her and she's wearing the shorts but I've seen her training more recently like current video and she's wearing those shorts. But I've seen her training more recently, like current video, and she's getting pretty fit again. Have you guys seen the Bud Light commercial

that was running for a while where it was Seth Rogen, not Seth Rogen, yes, Seth Rogen, and Amy Schumer talking about Bud Light? Where they were like, this isn't your beer for fucking white people, or whatever they were saying whatever amy schumer

saying it was so bad and it caused budweiser sales to decrease to the point that they pulled the whole commercial i read about that commercial i didn't see it but i read about it i miss a lot of tv like i just don't see it tv shows will come and go like the community as far as far as I know, that's just a meme. The black guy walks into the room, everything's on fire, and he walks out. I've never seen that show. I know of that meme. I know that gif. He walks in with the pizzas expecting a fun time and everything's out of control.

And he's like, I just brought pizza and everybody's having a shift. This isn't fair. That's how I interpret it. I've seen a couple from the community and I may have seen this show at one time at one time i've never seen it i'm with you in this one i don't know what network it was on i assume nbc that seems like they're kind of bullshit i've never seen the show either it looks like i don't care yeah i don't need that there's a lot of like really popular things but being really popular doesn't make you good like like there are some things that are good and then they become popular there are some things that are popular and they

were never fucking good. And community is probably one of those things. I would know. Might not be. I don't care to find out. Don't have a cow if it's your thing. Unless you acted on community or something. In which case, why don't you get us a box set?

Have you even seen Community, Kyle? It's one of the funniest shows on TV. Don't plan to. I have been watching a lot of CNN this week, a lot of CBS. I caught the 60 Minutes interview. It was great. I really liked it. Who was interviewed? Donald Trump, the President of the United States.

I love it. President-elect of the United States. They have such a hard time keeping that down. Too many people have difficulty saying it. Some of them even are still like, Mr. President-elect Trump. They're saying it through their teeth almost because it's like, you know that that has got to really hurt

to know that you have to call somebody a really prestigious title when you want to just scream at them and be like, you hosted The Apprentice! But no, you have to call them President-elect. Dude, this is the year of ridiculous, fucked up shit we have like President Trump might be next year world champion Cubs Like that is crazy

Next year you've got like several major elections in in Europe And I suppose that they're they're declaring victory for the first meme war and preparing for me But being world war they're calling it they've already started subreddits for like that French conservative lady and maybe in Poland or somewhere there's like maybe Germany too maybe Merkel's up for election

like there's a whole I saw Farage make a statement the other day you know the British politician about he thought they should license handguns. And they were showing there was a lot of support for that. It's really interesting to see what's happening. Dude, most interesting.

So Google has stopped running Google AdWords on sites that just lie about news, right? Fake news. Fake news, yeah, yeah. So there are sites. And this is, look at both sides have their thing what about the onion does it apply to them you know i thought the same thing well it is a unique it's not unique but it's mostly republicans who like the forwards from grandma who like passed the ridiculous untrue things and uh google has defunded them. And I don't know how I feel.

Taylor, censorship lane, right? This is where it starts. On the other hand, they do a real disservice to the global discourse. I don't know. But it's a thing that's happened. I mean, it's their right to do it.

And it's their company. I just don't think that you should. You guys didn't watch it? Okay, so she asked him... It was not on Netflix. It's on the CBS app. It's well worth it. I think it's free.

I'm not sure. I have the CBS app. I don't know if I'm paying for it or not, but it's awesome. And it's got 60 minutes on there for free. And I saw the whole 60 minutes interview and the editing on it was awesome. There was no filler whatsoever. It's just question, answer, question, answer, question, answer. And she asked him about everything from the wall to immigration to prosecuting Hillary Clinton. And he gave direct answers to virtually everything. The only thing that he was like, didn't really, when it became

to prosecuting Hillary, he was like, you know, we have, I have this, this, this, this, this, and that to do. Let's see what happens with her. Ask me next time I see you what I'm going to do about Hillary Clinton. But with the wall, he's like, yeah, we got to build a wall. She's like, well, some, some people in Congress are saying that a fence would be better in some places. He's like, sure, a fence in some places, but a wall needs to be built she's like well what about uh uh deporting people he's like well there are two to three million uh that need to be deported right away right away we need to deport two or three million that are that have committed crimes that any he called them drug you know the people that are drug dealers and criminals of one kind or another it's interesting because he's made a lot of promises everyone knows he can't keep at all.

The list of day one things he said that he'll do is alone. It's going to be a long day. It's going to be a very long day for Donald Trump. It's a fairytale day. Trump days are 300 normal days. So he's knowingly lying about what he's going to be doing. No reasonable person thinks he's going to have like 10 million deportations in a day so uh well he's saying over the next few years he has said day one he was going to deport 10 million people and it's like day one what the fuck come

on now you know he didn't mean it literally i i wonder if that's one of those things where if they stop the regular like so donald do you mean that literally on day one you will usher out 10 million people across the border literally i think no i mean that on day one we're gonna get begin the process to get those 10 million people out of this country try and track with me here you know like that's what he's gonna yeah like no one reasonable says that that's some kim jong like ill kind of stuff like we're gonna have do i need to google this i'll google it i need to see exactly what he said. I don't think it matters, though. I just feel like you're really putting him into a corner with that statement. I didn't put him anywhere.

He put himself into a corner. He says shit. He's a knowingly lying bullshitter, right? That's who Trump is. And Kyle's like, no, no, no. He didn't mean that. When we take what Trump says and pass it to the Kyle filter, it turns out into something far more reasonable. I look at his underlying

motivations. Oh, you stop. I look at his underlying motivations and when you do that... I'm not angry, but you do me going, no, fuck you. Stop. You stop. No. Go ahead. Go make your point. I would love to finally make my point. Silly. It is, isn't it? So, the issue here, you keep saying

this about me, that I have a Kyle filter. The Kyle filter is where I try to reason things out. It doesn't necessarily apply to conservative things or democratic things, Clinton or Trump. It's just my filter of reasoning out what makes sense. He would never say and mean it that on day one 10 10 million have to go they're going to go that would be my observation has been that everything after it passes through the kyle filter turns out roses for trump right he can say i'm pro-life and you say i know why don't you pass through my filter he doesn't really mean that because i know that a long time ago he was pro-choice so that's not something he wants to do he said both and you're picking the one that you want to go with and you're picking the one you're going to go with and that's my accusation no I'm not picking either of them I'm saying that it doesn't matter what he says he's Donald Trump you can't you can't nail him down to positions you can't say he said this and he's going to do it or he's not going to do it he's Donald Trump

he's not a politician I don't know what he's going to do none of these things like he's a different than a liar he's a bullshitter right like a bullshitter is something specific it's sort of a i'm so casual with the truth i'll say whatever you think it is i want to hear and and that's his that's his standard operating procedure right everything he says is just anything that's convenient in the moment so where i was headed with my original thing was he's still doing that. And the moment is coming. And I wonder how this is going to work out for him.

Are people going to just like forgive him if the things he said he'd do don't happen? Not everyone passes what he says through a filter. A lot of people voted for him thinking that he intends to do what he says he's going to do. And how's that going to go down? I saw a big focus group today. They had a lot of the Trump supporters and they were asking him these questions, you know, like, what do you expect him to do? What do you want from the first hundred days? And it was a lot of that. It was a lot of people that they have a similar filter to what I have, maybe. You know, the lady said, well, like, he says lots of things. We don't take them literally.

We sort of look at the meaning behind them. So the numbers really don't matter because he throws numbers around. He says wild, ridiculous things. A lot of the things that he says are just instantly, you're like, oh, okay, he's trying to get

a feeling across to me, not necessarily a procedure. There won't literally be 10 million people. Otherwise, he's trying to get a feeling across to me, not necessarily a procedure. Like, there won't literally be 10 million people. Otherwise, he's insane and he doesn't know how numbers work. Like, I know he knows how numbers work, at least. He's not dumb. You know, people call him dumb. He's not dumb. He's Ivy League educated, turned to whatever it was, 10 million into a billion.

It's something impressive. He's not dumb. But I think people will feel like the media tells them to feel. And if they start nailing Trump for missing more of his promises than other presidents have, then it'll turn against them. What specific ones do you think that he's going to be lacking on? Because he said a lot of things. You're right. But I'm wondering which

his problem i saw a bullet list of them one time and i'm finding like three page articles that don't fit this format well i'm already predicting that uh conservatives are going to be upset when one of his justice nominations is not uh a pro-life kind of person. He said they would be pro-life. He said they will. I don't know. I'm just talking about the 60 Minutes interview, what he said most recently and most on the nose to someone's face.

No, maybe he will. I was just doing my prediction of what I think people will be really upset by. What they'll be upset by is the abortion thing. Because he has this disparity right she says um gay marriage you know is is that going to be up for uh for for being over overthrown he's like that that's the law of the land the supreme court has ruled on that that's the law of the land and but but in then you know next question what about roe versus

wade well i'm going to be uh putting some justices in there that are pro-life, and it very well may be overturned. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Aren't they both the law of the land? They both became the law the same way. So he's definitely making a separation there. And she asks him, well, if it's overturned, then what happens? It becomes illegal to get an abortion. He says, well, then it goes to the states. She says, but there will be some people who have to leave their state to get an abortion. He like yeah you'll have to leave your state go to another state to get an abortion so that was the part where i was like wow okay that's his that's just his position on this is that he's got your you'll have to leave your state go somewhere else and get an abortion so

yeah i don't like that um one of them is cancel obama executive actions on immigration and guns and be time prone i wonder what the i didn't know obama's Obama executive actions on immigration and guns. And be time prone. I wonder what the, I didn't know Obama's immigration executive actions. The next one is ask Congress to immediately deliver a full repeal of Obamacare. Now, I know that more recently he said stuff like he wants to keep the, you know, adult children on it. And he wants to keep the no pre-existing condition part. on it and he wants to keep the no pre-existing condition part but there's some cognitive dissonance that you can't keep just the no pre-existing condition part and undo the rest right so yeah that doesn't work right yeah the

pre-existing condition part is the part that's making it not work like you can't keep you can't take the part of it and say oh no we're gonna do we're gonna keep that part right just you guys have probably heard me say this but for people that haven't in short if you have insurance then you get covered for the things while you had it now what they did is they made it so everyone had to have insurance and now insurance companies can't deny on pre-existing conditions if you just like get rid of obamacare the part that says you have to buy insurance and keep the they have to cover your pre-existing condition then why don't people just

not have insurance until they get sick and then they pick it up and the insurance company's about to pay that doesn't work so and trump is not dumb he knows that but he's saying things that he can't you can't have any kind of insurance cover a pre-existing incident you can't go buy geico insurance after you've been in a car accident you can't go buy home insurance after your house is burned down because they're going to look at you and go, no, we're not going to let you sign up for this policy that we're immediately going to pay out on. Like that's not what our business is. So you can't like – it's like – I'm sorry. No, go ahead. Renegotiate NAFTA and withdraw from the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

Now, I just – not read. I saw a video on this. Apparently, he doesn't have the authority to do that. Like, he would have to, like, get that implemented over the course of years. Did Obama give up on the TPP thing, like, because of the Trump presidency? I actually don't know. I thought, I don't know. He did.

Did he? Yeah, so part of his current tour that they're now calling the Farewell Tour, where he's visiting three countries. I know Peru is one of them. I can't recall the other two, the main ones, like the actual big ones. But part of that, I think, was to sure up some of the TPP negotiations. And now it's the farewell tour. I think they've completely dropped that from their plans because of the Trump presidency.

Imposed tariffs. Right. That's a thing. That's actually how he won the Rust Belt. Right. Build a wall and have Mexico pay for it let me look tariffs are tariffs are an interesting one to me because as a kid we learned about tariffs of course when we're learning about the american revolution and stuff and i was like well you know as a kid my mind wondered why can't we just fucking like do that at will will that

what'll happen so he can do that and i'm wondering like the executive orders is that literally like he just has to get out the executive order pay pieces of paper and those become executive orders or does he have to get those drawn up let me read what this says warren maruyama a former general counsel to the u.s trade representative under bush and obama w previously told us trump would have the authority under a variety of trade statutes to impose higher tariffs, but added it would lead to a trade war and cost hundreds of thousands of jobs. So the answer is, yeah, he can do it. It appears that the president has the authority to impose tariffs.

Oh, did you see his gun stuff that he put out? It wasn't a spoken thing, but he put it on his website, what he said about concealed carry permits and gun control legislation in general so he wants to be he thinks that all gun control are all um concealed carry permits should work in all the states um that's not going to be everywhere i was like if i was king this is what i do give a little to get a lot, right? I would be down for some sort of background check, you know, whatever that is. If it's a medical history for something, I don't know. I'd be down for some sort of background check that was effective. And then also lumped in that bill, I want silencers, I want full auto and I want country wide concealed carry

and I feel like if I pitch that people would be like alright oh absolutely because you gotta go through so much even when you're just buying a firearm at a store they run the background check on you if you gotta prick my finger and get a little blood

I'm down for that you want some skin scraping, some DNA whatever you want. Like, it's much easier than pumping down $200 every time you want to saw the barrel off a shotgun. Yeah, I'd be down for that. I don't have Mexico pay for it. Oh, now, that one's interesting. Let's take it one by one because...

Okay. There's only one after this. One by two. Making Mexico pay for it is something he was just so all about he's got to build something right or at least he's got to make an effort to build something right like he can't just ignore it because he's saying like right now like yesterday he's got to get some traffic cones or something on that border quick to let people know that the beginnings are happening put a couple i gotta say those excavators just around.

If I'm a betting man, I can't bet against Trump building a wall because he keeps saying he will. I got to say that I think Trump's going to build a wall. I can't go any other way, reasonably. Oh, I've made some bad bets lately, but at this point I'm thinking there's not a lot of money to make betting against Trump. No, there really isn't at this point.

He's going to build it. He says he will. And he won't shut up about it. I was 1,000% sure that he was not going to be president. And now the more I'm thinking about it, even like seven days ago, a week ago, I was like, even if he does get it, there's no fucking way he's building a wall. Now I'm just like, God, is he going to build a wall on the bottom part of this country are we gonna have a wall it's like if if it is it's gonna be something i'm gonna get the mexicans to pay for it the chinese to build it make this wall

then it needs to look good i don't want some bullshit ugly wall on the border it needs to have a lot of pizzazz restaurants i picture like like a Hoover Dam looking thing with big gold Trump letters on it every thousand yards. I want that. That's exactly what I envisioned. It's that marble almost looking like polished granite or whatever the Hoover Dam is. It looks smooth and uniform and all the same. Chinese steel as far as the eye can see. Yeah, sure.

Whatever. It should get the Chinese to build it. They're good at building great walls. And get the Mexicans to pay the Chinese. Exactly. So getting them to pay for it is so... They framed it last night

as a lot of his more fantastic things like that as being an opening negotiating position, which makes a little bit of sense, I suppose. And it makes, if you look at everything he says like that, all of a sudden you start thinking maybe he's not insane, which is much more comforting. Like if you go to bed at night thinking your president might actually be insane, then I can understand why you're a little bit afraid, right? But I don't think he's insane. I think he's just a little... If he was actually an insane person, one't be insane one of those

he would have gotten into some kind of fist fight on the apprentice at some point if he were like that insane because i'm in flavor flame would have mixed it up you know that's what insane people do celebrity apprentice yeah they would have had to um i think he's actually going to build that wall what's the last thing that he's promised? Enact the Trump tax plan. He collapses the seven tax brackets into three, reducing the top tax rate from, I'm sorry, 39.6 to 33. And he lowers the corporate tax rate from 35 to 15, among other things. It's a huge cut in taxes, primarily in benefiting the top end and that corporate tax helps small business as well

small businesses don't pay taxes so here's what a small business does if it's owned by whatever a couple of people they bonus themselves at the end of the year so that the company doesn't have any profit that's what companies who don't have shareholders like you know public

shareholders would typically do oh I was meaning like a like a smaller public company like a lot of oh I guess it's not technically a super small company if they've had an IPO well I think the thought process behind lowering the corporate tax rate is to stop these I think it's called an inversion merger something like i'm mixing it up a little bit but what happens is like let's say ge buys tiny irish company you haven't heard of and then like that's their new headquarters now we're an irish company we pay irish taxes and we avoid all this american shit even though we're pretty much fucking american um that's what happens these trilliondollar companies are buying out these million-dollar companies,

T to M, and then flipping it and acting like that's the new head. So they're not an American company anymore. And they do that to avoid U.S. taxes. It's complicated enough. I can't seem to get a straight answer. It's like trying to look up gun statistics or something. Everyone's crooked. There's no independent studies yeah um but some people say that american taxes are actually not bad at all like corporate taxes and um and some people say that they're not very good and

it's better to go elsewhere i'm not sure well we're about to find out we're just gonna do it we'll see what happens uh everybody says all economists who I think are the ones usually to listen to on that sort of thing keep saying that it's going to cost trillions and drive us into some sort of recession, right? We have a recession like every eight to ten years. with that is like this thing has to go through congress right like it's got to remember it i i think back to something like house of cards when that guy had that blithe guy had that education bill that was his life's work and it meant everything to him and then frank underwood gets and he's like yeah i'm gonna throw that away you know he's not listening to that like like this is none of this is getting in we're gonna rewrite all this so that it makes 18 like lever holders fucking happy and and then that'll go through i maybe maybe the idea that this is what we're starting with is just a a precursor to the

fact that it's going to be a bad tax plan in the end i don't know that hillary clinton's tax plan was going to be some work of genius either though i i trump the trump presidency for me, the lesser of two evils, really falls back to just not being a corrupt person who's at least not in that realm. Like maybe Trump was corrupted with some business shit once or twice, although I don't think there's really been any evidence of that. Not really, not like classic corruption.

He's not Al Capone or anything. He's not racketeering. But there was just so much bad about Hillary that I got to have a rosy outlook for Donald as this comes along that because it's making me so happy to see everyone cry I've been watching those videos for days and days of them crying literally crying that the ones that the actual tears are the best ones but then they go back to the all the prognosticators and predictions that were wrong and something about that feels good to because because it is an underdog story

if you can call a billionaire named donald trump an underdog everybody was against him and it feels you do feel good in the end when he wins so i'm on team blue right i think of myself as independent but i'm not a trump guy i hope to be i hope he proves me wrong and i get on board but i'm on Facebook now. I never wanted to be a Facebook guy. I was like a decade went by. I didn't care about Facebook. But it turns out that's where like the paramotor group is.

You know, it's not forums. It's not Reddit. It's Facebook. So I find myself on there. And now I have like Facebook friends that I don't even remember adding from like high school and shit just crying about this election just fucking moaning passing on like links to articles that support their point of view uh like getting really upset about people who tell them to get over it and I'm looking at this and I'm just like oh my god get off my team get the fuck off my team we're not losers over here we We lost, so I guess

technically we might be losers. In the strictest sense. You gotta stop crying about it. The goals now should be, like, get the Democratic Party fixed. It's rotting from the... It's rotting from the court. You put yourself in this position as much as the RNC did. Hell, the RNC was

fighting Trump as much as you were. DNC. Figment of my imagination that I'm talking to now. You've got to fix that. You're rotting at the court. You've got to get some people. You've got to do what the Republicans should have been doing four years ago, and that's finding a conservative guy that you can all put up on your shoulders and get in there.

I hope you're not looking at Bernie Sanders right now because he's going to be real goddamn old in four more years. He won't be able to run in four years. He'll be like 77. The DNC, I feel like their biggest problem is whatever system they had for the primaries didn't bring forward the strongest candidate. Instead,

they propped up fucking Hillary Clinton with her witch-like evil teeth and I just saw her cackling for months and no one voted for her. Well, actually most people do, but that's a different thing. You don't know that most people would have. See, like their system they had, I think it is a system that could pick a fair, like the best candidate,

if they didn't have that super delegate bullshit. That's just the start. And also have the thing where they're, you know, subversively helping and boosting Hillary while also like emailing, you know, the DNC is talking to Hillary's campaign about shit, like, hey, you know, make sure you don't talk about this with Bernie. Oh, make sure you hit Bernie here.

It's really damaging to him enough, but it also won't piss off his really, really staunch supporters. And she did not do a good job winning those. Like, that's why she lost. It's people that turn out. You know, it would have been easy for her to win. She would have beaten both of them handily i said most people voted for hillary i meant she won the popular vote against trump but yeah yeah in 10 seconds that doesn't mean much because

if it was bait if the election was based on popular vote trump might have won that too he was playing differently yeah like you're like oh you know what if there were different rules he would have lost no he would have played by those, and you don't know how it would have gone down. That's what he said today on his Twitter. He's still tweeting. He's still tweeting. He said today, he was like, hey, if we're going for the popular vote win, I'd have been in New York and California a whole lot more. He's like, notice I didn't go there?

You know, because they didn't mean anything. They were already lost to me. They were just an amount of electoral votes here and there, not a mass populace. I agree with you. Imagine a Trump rally in Los Angeles or New York City. He was getting 30,000 in Alabama. That's what we never...

That's what we should have thought about, but it was hard to wrap your head around because they wouldn't show it. It's true that they wouldn't. The numbers at those rallies alone, and then they would say, well, it doesn't matter. They went back to some politician from the early 90s who had a bunch. I can't remember. Mondale, maybe?

Maybe Walter Mondale had big crowds or something, but it was a failed politician. They went to something like that. They were like, oh, he had crowds too. And I went to one of those things, and I was like, shit, these people are – it's like WrestleMania in here, except they're wearing their church clothes. Like, you've got white people motivated. You've done it. And then I would see them on television, and they were just so fired up in such big chanting crowds. And they all were in the same hats.

They all know the chants. It's like the meme magic was actually in the real world a little bit. I'd see Pepe out in the crowd and shit, and then they'd show a Hillary Clinton crowd, a Hillary Clinton rally. And then sometimes they would have that one rally that just really just never took off and had 200 people at it and turned into like a little gathering in the corner of some building and i was just like well i guess maybe clinton rallies to trump rallies no lines no no lines show up late fuck it sometimes they go to the world and be like, fuck Space Mountain at Disney World.

I'd rather take the people mover over here. No lines. That's something that's so easy to look back on now, like the rally size. The whole time, I was even of the opinion of like, well, yeah, sure, whatever. He has big rallies. That doesn't really mean anything. Like, you know, it's not really indicative of him doing well. People are just going for the same reason that they went to go see you know obama in 2008 it's like hey this is something new and novel

i'm gonna go watch but then thinking back to 08 i remember seeing all the footage and thinking like oh my god obama is gonna slaughter mccain because he's got 65 000 people at this rally somewhere and then he goes somewhere else and he has 40,000 then he goes somewhere else he has 50 plus thousand people like at the time it was like okay yeah that that's really indicative of him crushing it and then for trump for some reason everybody including myself was kind of like yeah whatever it's just because he's an actor entertainer never tell what matters like if you look at um online attention right which is a metric that like i'm sort of got my thumb on. Bernie Sanders was crushing Hillary.

I couldn't. I hardly knew a Hillary supporter. None? Really? It was just everybody was about Bernie online, in my real life, etc. It turns out Hillary got more votes. I was talking about a while ago what the Democrats should be doing now. Cleaning house.

I agree with Kyle. Donna Brazile should be doing now cleaning house i agree with kyle donna brazil should be working at mcdonald's right that's where she belongs where she can't fuck things up what about podesta podesta out he's got to go out we need to put it with principled people so that that like they should be known as the clean party turn that good guy around the other side has is determined to be the fucking bad guys, at least as far as your side is concerned. Feed into that. Let them be the hill and you be the good guys.

You don't have to lie and cheat. Be known for the guys that when we look under the rug, your shit was in order. That's what you want because inevitably in this information age we're in, we're gonna get the C into your panty drawer, under your rug, and in your fucking closet. So just make sure that shit is clean and in order and play a straight

game. And so when it happens, you'll be the good guys and they'll be the bad guys, but they can't do that. The Senate situation ended up being so much worse for the Democrats than they could have imagined in that they got blown out this time. then if i'm if i'm correct in remembering this i think that the democrats have a lot more seats they have to hold in 2018 than the republicans do so they could lose a lot more ground unless they real quick get their shit together and demonstrate that hey we're cutting off this necrotic flesh that we've accumulated and we're starting fresh yeah i don't believe it's going to happen because regardless of what just happened this last election, you know, we still have a two party system and it's really split.

But, but never say never in a Trump generation, which is what this will be known as henceforth, because if the Democrats really lose again, then they fall below the numbers that they need to be a fucking real party, right? They're getting whittled down to the point where maybe they're not a major party and the Republicans start amending the goddamn Constitution. No, and then Gary Johnson and those libertarians can surge in, and then Jill Stein over the horizon with her big goals of free all of the zoo animals you know is that one of the things i support that i support freeing all the zoo i do not i like what i like looking at i like gawking at animals at zoos i i i sort of fact-checked uh taylor's more democrat seats up because it surprised me given that they have fewer seats but i think he's right i don't have the numbers i just have a picture of states that are red and blue and it's like there sure seems like there's fucking twice as many

blues as reds so uh i think he's right about that i'm surprised um and and then so they gotta they gotta flip their script oh and really demonstrate the other side of it though is that if there's a republican president probably the interim elections will go towards the Democrats. Historically, it goes against the sitting president. Unless Trump kills it. I saw a stat that said in the last eight years, not since 1922 has there been an eight-year period where Democrats have lost more governorships,

more Senate seats, more senate seats more house seats they they've been in the last eight years like minus tremendously which i guess feeds right into what you were saying of people show up at the polls and they're like i'm not totally happy with this who's in charge republican fuck them democrat all the way down it's democrat in charge fuck obama republicans all the way down. It's Democrat in charge. Fuck Obama. Republicans. All the way down. So it's almost like, I don't know, maybe it's just cyclical. Maybe we. Maybe. The challenge is because the Republicans own most of the governorships, the districts are gerrymandered in such a way that it becomes hard for the Democrats to compete in the House

of Representatives. Not the Senate. That's statewide. You can't gerrymander that. But on the House of Reps, I want to say, if you remove this current election, in which I'm uninformed, the last two or three in a row, the Democrats got more votes and fewer seats because of the gerrymandering. It's going to be a real uphill battle for the Democrats over the next four years or so. We're just going to see what Trump does.

I think we're all hoping that he does well. It's a little scary. We all got to hope that he does well because we're all on the same team at this. We're all Americans. We don't want to be like, ha ha, life sucks for all of us now. I was right.

He's the captain of the ship now, unfortunately. And it's what it is. So I hope he does the things that were good that he said he was going to do. And I hope badly that he just fails or didn't really mean some of that other shit he said. Because I don't want... I guess with the Supreme Court justices,

that's just the deal, though. There's a chance that Roe versus Wade could be overturned because if he gets three conservative guys in there throughout his term, that's it. That's right there's uh there's an open seat and there's two democratically nominated supreme court justices over 80 yeah dude they're gonna die in the next four years and if in eight years certainly right like and maybe they don't die but they can't keep serving they're not gonna be you're not going to be 85. Both of them at 85 aren't going to be up to the task.

He's definitely going to get two, I think. And if he gets three, that really is... That's too much right wing for me. I don't think we should have three conservatives in there. I personally like it the way it is right fucking now, where it can't do shit, where it's just split. I like that better. I don't know what we should do when everybody comes to a head and it finally gets all the way to the top and there just aren't enough people to like decide something i don't know who you trust

and but i don't i don't trust that supreme court thing i just don't right yeah i i don't know i'm still hoping like in long shot of long shots that merrick Garland still gets in the Republicans said we're not approving who you are you'd have to choose someone really like neutral and qualified like Merrick Garland and Obama's like all right Merrick and they're like Garland fuck it I'm out I probably fucked up his name I don't know but uh he nominated Merrick Garland and they wouldn't vote on him. What's his name? Do you guys know it?

The nominee? Something like that. And I'm still like, well, you liked him, right? That sounded enough like his name that I thought that was his name. Okay. So, yeah, I'm still hoping he'll get in. I don't know. Yeah, I'm with you on that one too.

I was hoping that he would get in too. As little as I know about him, just hearing that he was a moderate that seemed to be like a guy who might go both ways. I don't want a guy necessarily who's just as ruby red and a guy who's just completely blue and is always going to be socially and economically just conservative, conservative, conservative. I just want someone smart. I almost want a computer.

The fact that both sides seem to approve of him, that was like, oh, well, that's the one I one i like too hell sounds like he's down the middle but yeah we'll see what we get we'll see what trump decides all right that's all that matters so if the blues lose tonight they're well the technically they're seven seven and three. That would make them under... They're under 500 now, really, right? Yeah, they're under 500 now. Ever since they changed it a few years ago with how they do overtime points, it's easiest for me to just look at teams

and just look at their wins and loss as the 500. But also, they're... So, based on that, they're around 500. They're only one game above it, but they've lost a couple in overtime, which, if you have a team that loses a lot in overtime, it means that you have a tremendous goalie that kept you in a game tied that went long.

That is not our situation. It can also mean that your team cannot score in a key moment to save their life. It's a game where the Blues score early, and then they get scored on, and then the Blues turtle up, and they use their good defense, which is their only real good trade this year, and then they just run it out into overtime, and then they'll end up losing and get a point.

And so it's just, man, they can't score a fucking goal to save their life. So that's aggravating. The only guy on our team who's doing well on offense is old Sweet T. If I'm right, the Blues are 7-6-3 for non-hockey people. 7 wins, 6 losses, and

3 overtime losses. So it's kind of like 7-9, but it helps you in the standings to get an overtime loss. And the Flyers are 7-7-2. So just one of those losses happened. So they're very close. Yes, I am just... The Flyers came out cold and the blues

came out hot so i didn't look at it exactly but i imagine if you look at like just their last 10 games the flyers are are probably doing better i bet they are like but well it's only like 14 games into the season 15 games or so so it's still very early but man i i almost i kind of want to see the blues totally fall apart for like five eight game stretch because if they do maybe they'll finally be like hitchcock you're fucking fired you're not no you're out of here mike yow you're the coach because i've already explained this to where our coach ken hitchcock was like oh i want to come back for one more year and they're like oh do you you want to come back and one more year. And they're like, oh, do you? You want to come back and coach again? Well, you're our best option for now,

but we're also going to hire Mike Yao from Minnesota and have him be your assistant coach, and then the next year he will be the main coach and you'll retire. And so it's like, no, that's not how careers work. You don't just get to go, yeah, I'm actually going to tack on one more year because I guarantee there's a bunch of Blues players who are like, all right, well, Mike Yao is our future coach and he really wants us to play aggressively in this new system that works in 2016.

Yeah, but Ken Hitchcock is our coach now, and he wants us to play this turtle-up defensive style like it's 1999. Well, I don't want to get fucking in trouble, and I don't want to put in bad time for, yeah, even the Devils' trap defense. That doesn't work anymore. But, like, it's aggravating to see so much of the problem clearly be coaching. Because – We played left-wing trap in men's beer league hockey for, like, half a game.

And we're like, this is less fun. Fuck this. Everybody score. Yeah, playing the trap in beer league is like, how serious are you taking this? Like, everybody's in their position, like, skating backwards. Like, all right, look. Hey, hey, hey, come around, come around. You know, that's your point. like everybody's in their position like skating backwards like all right look um but yeah so the flyers are i know we're trying to wrap the flyers are like decimated by injuries and suspensions and it's like 10 games into the season so i like i want to see wayne simmons on

the flyers continue to have a good season i like wayne simmons a lot i like claude geroux and um i guess their goalie is Neuwirth right now. I don't know enough about him to like him or dislike him. Flyers goalie is just a rotating door of whatever. Yeah, they never have very good goal plays. But Giroux and Simmons, I hope they continue to have good seasons. I like them. On a scale of 1 to 10,

we just find a new 6 every year. Yeah, a new 5.5 for the Flyers to get furious at over the course of a couple months. And then they boot that goalie and all the fans are like, well, now we don't have a good goalie. It's like, well, you didn't give him time to fucking learn with this team.

You just yelled at him and he left. Like goalies, it's a real thing that goalies will be like, yeah, I'd rather not get traded to Philly. Like, because they're just, they either don't care or they're a whole city of fans that don't know enough about hockey that they think every goal is the goalie's fault because it's that's a serious difference you can tell when you're watching hockey with someone who doesn't know hockey because like oh man Crawford's playing like shit tonight and it's like well he's let in five goals

on 51 shots give him a fucking break all three on ones yeah all three on those all right we'll wrap here uh painkiller nearly episode 118 see you later