Painkiller Already - PKN #124

Episode Date: January 6, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

is now alive from pre-show um so anyway kyle before we even get into any or pkn episode we're on to uh kyle before we started you said you had the best halloween next year concept that you have to get out now let's someone else It's gonna be the trendiest thing, right? The zombie Princess Leia costume. Oh my gosh. No, no, it's gonna be the one where she's, you know how they have the Jedi and the blue light? Yes!

That's one version of it where she's just the force because she was supposed to be a force user though she got a little plump so they just didn't get to that this time around in this most recent film. So it would make sense if she came back as the blue, glowy apparition.

But I think just a straight-up zombie in the Leia costume is the way to go. I think it'd be neat if in the credits they gave a little, like, you know, you'll be missed, will the Force be with you? Of course they will. They have to use hot Leia for that be with you they have to use hot leia for that not well they have to use leia not like that not not the picture for graying and chubby like

eating a twizzler no the bikini caught off guard at comic-con needs to be in the golden bikini and it has to be like we'll we'll always be you'll always be in our thoughts right with a box of napkins on the side yeah you know like when, like, when you think about Kirk Douglas, you're supposed to think about him, like, when he dies, you're supposed to think about, you know, as he's riding that chariot, he's in good shape, he's got a good 50s body. I am Spartacus.

50s, solid, not cut, but you can tell he's in decent shape body. You don't want to see a 103-year-old screaming at door jams and mistaking people for, know bits of furniture like you wouldn't want that nobody wants to be remembered that way like if they take a picture of me and put it in an obituary in the newspaper when i die i will be so fucking pissed if i'm like 82 and they take the one of me like with that half eye closed to death where it's like oh

there's taylor he doesn't know he's there do you think he would have drunk off your ass from pka 141 like a bad double chin angle or something what's everybody i have i have like a couple of uh memes of taylor uh freaking out on Lefty. One of them is a gif of him going, Ah, fuck you, you cunt. And that just beats over. And then the other one is just a screenshot with text.

And it's Lefty saying, Well, I think you're a nice fellow, Taylor. I'm glad you were able to come on tonight. And then Taylor comes back with, Fuck you, you cunt. Something like that. Funny meme. I still feel bad. I could never talk to him again without

prefacing every conversation with like, hey man, I'm real sorry about that again. And he was so cool about it. Oh, your shoes. Hold them up closer. So these are the Yeezys. For $25. Or $25 or $35. $20.

I've seen nurses wear very similar footwear. Yeah, they are. Shoes like in the ER with blood getting everywhere, you know. You know, I looked at these and I was like, wow, that's a bad knockoff. And then I looked at a picture of the real one closely. It's pretty fucking close. He just made some ugly shoes. That's all that happened to you.

Did you show Linda on it? Huh? Goodyear. Goodyear. Goodyear makes souls. I beat the actor bucks. They should. They should.

They're known for their, this is like a Goodyear welted construction or something like that. It's supposed to be highly regarded I'm not an expert in work boots, but that's what I've heard so the easy Scott you said what's your opinion of them so far um You just think they're kind of ugly shoes. Yeah, they're just ugly ill-fitting Shoes you know there I wouldn't wear them outside the house I don't think they're very thin material if these these were to ever get splashed with a mud puddle, it would immediately be like wearing socks that were soaked or something.

They're going to dissolve. I was going to think they'd dissolve like they were made from sugar. That's where I thought he was going on that. Oh, there's enough glue in here to keep me afloat for at least 10,000 years before this shit comes apart. When you put them near your face and smell, it's like new car smell times 100. There's so much industrial glue in there.

There's like two or three different ones. It's a real foul chemical odor. Do you think that the factory making them, I mean, they probably have regulations that keep a safe amount of glue, right? Yeah, yeah. I know they don't allow anyone to jump out the windows there anymore.

They got their nets in. Well, they just got rid of windows altogether. Bars. Ah, the darkness is much more conducive to a 24-hour work clock, I've heard. You get them on an artificial light cycle, and you can really work them hard then. Best to keep them in the dark. It's like Star Trek. Yeah.

I'll take your word for it. It didn't come in a box. It was just double bagged. The first bag had all this Chinese writing all over it. Did it have a translation? Or they didn't even take it? No.

There was just Chinese writing. It was a Chinese bag. There was a little lead powder on it that kept it from sticking from the bag that it was removed from. That's how they do things there. You bought a low-quality, inexpensive product from China? Go figure. Yeah.

You know what the most awful part about this whole thing that I learned was? Because these are like, if you could find a deal, you can get these for like $1,700. But they're selling for like $2,300 right now. And then I looked into it and I don't want to disparage anyone who bought the shoes if you're making $300,000 a month go for it I know I know you probably are but the the real ones are made in China the real $2,000 shoes are fucking made in China and that's outrageous to me because I definitely understand like yeah, it's it's it's 19% cheaper to make things in China. It just makes sense

That one it's a $2,000 sneaker fucking Kanye like like make those probably like a million times Why not you could pay a bunch of like white people to make your shoes if you're selling for two grand a pop they could You have an artist and craftsman in there with a beard down to here like hand stitching this shit if you really wanted to make the best shoe there was. Yeah, but there's no reason to do that when the shoe itself looks exactly like every other $60 shoe at- These are made down the block from the real ones. The factory workers know each other. They're probably, it's probably made on the same machines machines they just use shittier material don't you know yes exactly it's it's well it's probably not made on the same machines but it's it's definitely similar people like i know the people who work in yet that factory hate everybody who works in the real factory because the real factory is like all chinese

factories are in there like there is good stuff that's made in China. It's just good knockoffs aren't made in China. I should have forged a help me note right here. I'd be like, holy shit! He speaks English! Fucking Hop Singh wants out! They've done that before.

When I was like 15, I got... I really loved The Simpsons, and I wanted all of the seasons on DVD for the Simpsons. And they didn't sell them all at the time and you couldn't just torrent them as easy. And so I had my grandma like, you know, will you buy me the Simpsons if you can find them anywhere? She's like, okay. She ordered them from China because the only place you could get a seasons 1 to 15 of the Simpsons box set was China. place you could get a seasons 1 to 15 of the Simpsons box set was China and it came and it did that thing that foreign knockoffs do where the cover it looked

so much like Homer and so much like Marge but that was not Homer and Marge on the cover like he had like little beady like Japanese eyes and like wasn't quite as fat a little more fit and it didn't say like the Simpsons it just said like What was it like a Simpson town? And then it was a complete fucking Crapshoot with these menus like I'd like I want to watch season 5 the Cape Fear episode that's a really funny one now put that in and It was a completely up in the air one disc you'd put in oh an english menu thank god okay

i'm gonna go through these i'm gonna play this episode next one you put in all chinese a hundred percent in chinese you play an episode it's like i'll just see what you know these weird symbols equals and then the episode just starts playing in chinese with english subtitles and it's like this isn't even consistent with the other seasons that i've purchased. I am very familiar with the Simpsontown, and this is not how this show works. I lost it eventually in a move, but God, I wish I had that collector's box of Simpsontown with fucked up Homer and Marge on the cover.

A whole season of Korean Futurama mixed in for some odd reason. Yeah, Bender just shows up. With Asian eyes. Homery! That's a little more japanesey but i yeah i need new shoes so this is what i wear in the summertime i have like sperry's like boat shoes if you can picture that not the leather kinds but they're like canvas top and a flat white sole you picture these yeah and they seem to go well with shorts and and I wear these ankle-high socks and stuff. It seems reasonable. But in the winter, under jeans, they look gay.

They're like a weak shoe if you're wearing long pants. What the hell do you wear with long pants? I don't want like a belt, you know, the mall. Well, if there's a chance you're going to step in mud or like dog shit along the way, then you got to have some sort sort of brown boot, I think, that mixes somewhere between casual and formal. But if you're going to dinner or something, I like a black leather almost dress shoe with a square toe. But not so square that I look like some sort of cowboy or something weird. Not like a square toe. I'm picturing something that you could polish

almost. But I wouldn't polish them. I don't know. I swear, I feel like there's a category of shoe that I'm just not tapping into. Let's say that you and Jackie are going out for a nice dinner. Not super, super

nice, but nice enough that she's going to put on, like, a shirt that she doesn't wear as often. What kind of shoes are you wearing? Like, describe your outfit. She's put on her best cape. She's got her finest cape on. You know, fluttering in the breeze. She's looking heroic.

Shucks, I don't know. If I wear jeans, I would probably, in a scenario like that where i'm going to step up the dress a little bit i have these like suede i want to call them dukes or something i what the hell are they called dukes suede shoes i'm i'm hunting for them I'm hunting for them. I got a pair of Duke size 11. They don't make them anymore. It would be... I just tried, because I'm looking up shoes,

to send you a reference one for what I like to wear. Yahoo is such a bad search engine, I didn't realize I was using it for a second. I typed in colhan.com because I'm like, what the fuck's going on with this search engine? This isn't how search engines work didn't come up on the first page

colhan.com does not reveal colhan.com in Yahoo had to go to Google to get to colhan.com because I didn't know if colhan.com was the actual website so if I were going to someplace nice-ish I'd wear a shoe like that right? for people who know

it's GH Bass Men's Proctor Suede Oxfords. Maybe that means anything to you. But I feel like that's a little... I'm looking for something I can wear more often. You know, something you wear to California Pizza Kitchen. Something you wear to the mall. If you wear something like this... It's a Cole Haan black oxford shoe or something uh yeah what you just linked

is good i just the one i linked is a little nicer and so you can take it actually formal but if you wear dark straight leg jeans it looks really good in that too and women pay so much attention to shoes like it's a must if you're trying to get laid that you don't go out in some giant, you know, Air Max sneaker. This is why Jackie's been dressing you like this for years. That's why I wore a mantle, so no one would have me. She's been running a whole counterintelligence operation you were unaware of. Ah, the more risky things Woody does,

the more attractive he gets to other women. Now he's got a motorcycle. I've got to put some moccasins on that man's feet. He shows that he's brave and he can afford to have fun. Hmm. If I get some mandals for him, though, and only graphic tees, then I might be able to hold on

to him, you know? I totally feel you, though. Like, my big, ugly sneaker collection is immense that i just have like so many big ugly sneakers and none of them look good enough to wear out to a decent depth something should fill the gap between that and like the more formal thing that you might wear to something nice maybe i don't do you have a gap there kyle for what you'll wear because i just go

if i'm wearing sneakers if it's doing something out and about that I don't need to impress, or kind of dress shoes with straight leg dark jeans. I kind of like where Kyle's headed on this. That's a winter shoe I could wear with jeans. Skechers USA men's segment Dorton Chelsea boot. I don't know.

I always wear jeans. I don't have a pair of shorts so like everything I've got I just picture all these things with different kinds of pants around them and they all look good in my head yeah it's really really hard you will never find a pair of shoes that looks good

when you're wearing shorts unless like it's a boating shoe where it's like oh that's a situation where you'd wear a boating and even then don't do it unless you're on a boat idiot you look like an asshole and your feet smell terrible like the reason that your feet can smell terrible

yeah the leather ones like you need that sea air around you to dry your feet out and make it that palatable like I have friends and it's like we live in fucking Missouri dog you can't be wearing boat shoes in August in my house don't you fucking take those things off or I'm gonna have to get some sort of

biological enzyme breaking down Febreze to hit all the areas that you walked in but um this is the other thing I wear with shorts a lot I don't know if it's great but it is a pair of shoes that go with shorts. Right. And with pants, I guess, because pants, you can wear anything with pants. In my opinion, under jeans, they look a little soft, man. Like, I don't know. Cows, on the other hand, they're man's shoes.

I like all these that I've sent. Maybe slightly different scenarios, but I don't know. I like a shoe that looks like an adult shoe, I guess, is what I'm picturing. Then I'm kind of walking a fine line between an actual work shoe and a dress shoe. Yeah. Yeah. Here's one for you that's kind of in the middle. Steve Madden. I assume he's pretty good. I mean that's kind of in the middle. Steve Madden.

I assume he's pretty good. I mean, his name's on the shoe. That one's not my cup of tea. And I'm not sure, what is Chukka-ing? Do you need a special boot to go Chukka-ing? I think Chukka is this style of boot. Like this, I don't know, this style of boot. I'm going to look into what chuka means.

I'm curious now. We probably need a new topic, and it is time for hockey talk. What, you don't think selecting your new shoes is what this whole PKA is dedicated to? I think it's a topic we should go through. Most of our audience are young guys. And if you talk to girls, an area where every guy fucks up dressing himself is shoes Most of the time because guys will be like oh man I got these new dope basketball shoes that are all bright colored and they clash with everything

But it gives me attention all my guy friends say those are sick and like you go out and women look at that And they're like oh, that's really nice Like it looks like Ronald McDonald Yakked on your shoes idiot like you couldn't get a nice pair of darker, more muted like, oh, that guy's got nice brown patent leather shoes. Oh, he's got a nice brown belt. He's matching. He's someone who I could take over to my parents' house and not

show up and be like, oh, the Avengers t-shirt, huh? Like, oh, this is the first time you're meeting them, right? The Thor supporter I see. Good man. Good man. My little girl's gonna need that. My dad's a little bit traditional. What's with this kid? We were on the

other side of the Civil War. A chuka boot. They are ankle high leather boots with suede or leather uppers, leather or rubber soles and open lacing with two to three pairs of eyelets. So I thought chuka was going to be an activity that those boots were appropriate for.

Kind of. The name chuka possibly comes from the game of polo, where the chukar is a period of play. Ah. Everybody's writing that down. Taylor, the Flyers are about to play the Blues tomorrow night. I wish it was on Thursday night so that we could look at it together. Kind of watch it at the same time?

Yeah, I don't know. Have an update, see who's ahead, who's behind. Watch it unfold. So I think Flyers are probably going to win, and I'm going to say 3-2. No, 3-2. Blues won't score three without Stasny unless Tara Sank. At this point in the year, No, 3-2. Blues won't score three without Stasny unless Tarasenko.

At this point in the year, we're almost the St. Louis Vladimir Tarasenko's. Because if you look at a lot of teams, it's like, oh, Sidney Crosby's first in his team in points. Oh, but there's Malkin right behind him. Or Philly. Oh, there's Giroux. And then there's Voracek. I think Wayne Simmons is leading the team in points. No, Voracek's leading in points. Simmons is leading in goals.

And so you'll see, like, oh, there's Giroux and Voracek and Simmons. And then, oh, this guy's having a good year too. For the Blues, it's like, holy shit, like Tarasenko, like playing over a point per game. Like the only player in the league, like top five in goals and top five in assists. Then you're like, man, this team's shaping up real good. Let me go to the next guy on the list. Oh, it's a defenseman.

Kevin Shattenkirk, second highest scoring person on the team. Let's see. Anybody else have more than ten goals? One guy? You got two guys with more than ten goals and everybody else is like, oh, Patrick Bergwin, his fourth of the season when he scores. It's like, are you fucking shitting me? Can someone show up, aside from this poor

Russian guy who signed for like $70 million a year for eight years? He's like, are you fucking shitting me? Can someone show up, aside from this poor Russian guy who signed for like $70 million a year for eight years, and he's like, I was thinking we would be better by now. Like, I'm doing my best. I am literally only in second place in the entire league, and we lose last three.

Unfair. That has to be so frustrating. I know it's frustrating for me, and I'm not even on the the team and if i were that dude on the team i'm not selfless enough like if i were that guy i'd be like hey everybody can we be a little more like me out there tonight hey you know how i score most games just one other person to pick up the mantle you know come on out like uh but yeah uh philly is really impressed me with how good they've been this year overall and you have to wait and see though because if a team has like a huge win streak sometimes they go on like a regressive streak

too whereas if you're like chicago and you just have built a very good season you're less likely i think to have like a calamitous fall off. Philly is sending more players than any other team in the league to the Junior World Championships. It's a big deal for Canada. Their farm league is the best in the NHL. And I remember my prediction. I was like, Philly's going to do well.

And you watch, there's going to be a couple guys who aren't currently on the team making waves now i'm going to stand by that there's going to be some call-ups trying to like make the the main squad who just play out of their mind at this or who knows like maybe philly could be a buying team i don't know what their cap situation looks like but maybe they don't need all those prospects and they can get nab somebody else up and maybe be a team that doesn't just surprise and make the playoffs but they surprise and go deep you know because they're they're on that cusp right now where at the beginning of the season most flyers fans were like they're they're not they're probably not going to make the playoffs and now looking at them they're like

they're this is a team that's probably going to make the playoffs if they keep playing like this they're just not going to make it look they're they might get third in the league not even a wild card entrance so i hope they do well. It's easy to like them because they're out east until Tuesday. Wednesday. We'll see. Wednesday. But, yeah, that'll be neat.

Kyle, you follow that. Well, I'm excited that our teams are playing. Yeah, me too. It'll be fun. I mean, I watch pretty much every game, so I'll end up watching that one too. And I get, oh, God, the blues three times and this is the last thing i'll say about hockey three times in the last i think seven or eight games the blues have been up to going into the third or no have been up to at one point and then allow five six or seven

unanswered goals and it's like that's like if in for anybody who likes the nfl out there that's like if the patriots went up 14 to nothing on the bills and then the game ended 121 to 14 what bothers me about the blues like if i were a fan is that their plus minus is negative halfway through the season they've given up more goals than they've scored. And I use that plus-minus as a measure on how strong the team is. I mean, obviously, win-loss matters more. But plus-minus is another thing that tells you how things are going, whether they're eking out close wins or getting demolished. A good team midway through the season like this

shouldn't have more goals scored against them. Yeah, they shouldn't. You can – I mean, there's a reason – like, most hockey analytics people don't use plus minus anymore for the reason that you can't actually get good info from it. Like, it's actually a thing among hockey analytics people. Like, if you say, like, but their plus minus is good this year, they'll be like, idiot. Like, what are you talking about? Like, that doesn't – and I read an article about it. That's what I say about them.

That's what I say about them. No, you. No, you is what I say about them that's what i say about them no you no you is what i say i say hey oh you yeah no but like i a lot of it comes down to your goalie um alan has not both of our goalies have not been good they've been bad so far this year like it used to be in the end if you go back to goalies in the 80s their save percentage was like like grant fuhrer at like 88 they're like grant fuhrer one of to be in the – like, if you go back to goalies in the 80s, their save percentage was like – like, Grant Fuhrer at like 88%. They're like, Grant Fuhrer, one of the best in the league. Now, if a goalie has a 91% save percentage, they're like, what the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to keep this starting job? Huh?

Like, because Hendrick Lundquist is over there with 93. Like, or whatever it is. The Flyers, they're sending three goalies out of their farm system to the World Championships in the juniors. That doesn't mean that much because goalies are weird. That's why they rarely draft top prospects as goalies is because goalie, it's so mental. You can draft someone, accidentally put them.

This happened with Malcolm Subban. He's, I think, the only like or he's i think the only black goalie in the nhl now he uh his older brother pk subban plays for the predators now and he got his first it was two years ago and they're like malcolm subban's gonna get his first start he's supposed to you know be this new goalie that's gonna be great and they were like all right i guess boston was thinking should we start him St. Louis, at that time the best team in the league, or the next night we could start him against Buffalo, who's having a bad season to the point

that they're going to break a record for the worst team to ever play an 82-game season. And they started this guy in his first NHL game against the Blues, the best team in the NHL in 2014 at this time. He allowed three goals on five shots, and they pulled him, and he hasn't been back to the NHL. And so that... They broke him. Three goals on six shots, or three goals on five shots and they pulled him and he hasn't been back to the nhl and so that they've broken three goals three goals on six shots if he goes on five shots because rask the main goalie was sitting down enjoying a rest and when he got pulled you see him get upset this finnish guy being like oh i want one night off for you to show up and give me a little bit of break

and i have to play goalie again tonight this is. And then he skates out there and has a terrible game. But yeah, I felt bad for him. Because it's like, I empathize with the goalie of like, oh, that poor dude. He got out there and was like, this is my chance. And then the first shot hits his glove and he drops it and it rolls behind him.

And you have to be thinking, my whole life is collapsing. I was just watching a news story about a a pitcher i can't remember the guy's name but it's like two or three years ago he he was a rising prospect he was a young guy and he they started him in a a playoff game and he couldn't hit the fucking strike zone and he just had a huge embarrassing like meltdown immediately and he could never pitch again to the point where he has to go back down to the minors and learn to hit. But now he's back in the major leagues as a position player

and he's hitting. So that was the whole news story that this guy had to come back from that and gain some mental toughness. That's another one of those positions, though, where it comes down to you on a team. Like goalie, pitcher. I don't know about catcher in baseball

if they are more apt to have breakdowns like that. But yeah, pitching, it makes sense. It's almost like a not-team position in a team sport. Yeah, it's the one position there where if something goes egregiously wrong, they can blame it all on you. Like if you let a terrible goal in or if you throw just the weakest pitch to a great guy

and he knocks out of the park like they can be like hey you know we're a team we win as a team we lose the team but you did throw that ball to him and he did hit it and he did win so in the truest sense we you don't have your own personal win-loss record but you definitely have an l for this team like that's how it the reality is kind of like like they they have a That's the reality of it. Quarterback is kind of like... They have a lot of the pressure of winning and losing too. Although, I don't know, it still seems like more of a team thing. But yeah, QBs

gets a lot of attention. Peyton Manning just won the Super Bowl with a terrible performance. I didn't think that... That's a good counterpoint. Who did? Peyton Manning. Was it actually a terrible... I don't know. Statistically, he was one of the worst performances of the winning QB in Who did? Peyton Manning. Was it actually a terrible? I didn't look at the stats. I don't know the stats. Yeah.

Statistically, he was like one of the worst performances of the winning QB in like ages. And then people who know football more than me, you know, who could analyze a performance by, say, looking at the video, said that he didn't play like a quarterback who is good. Or he was like 40, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really old. He was the oldest to start. He was definitely the oldest to win a Super Bowl. I don't know if he was the oldest quarterback to ever start one.

But, yeah, he retired right after. And, you know, you don't often get to see guys go out on top like that. I remember when Favre was retiring. I can still picture his last NFL throw, Favre. He missed by a mile. Didre. He missed by a mile. Did he? Missed by a mile. It was a whole Hail Mary thing down the sidelines,

and he either overthrew the guy or threw it out of bounds. The big one for me was John Elway, because John Elway won his last game. He won the Super Bowl, and he retired, and it was like, ah, you know, that's a really good team. And he didn't pull a Peyton Manning. He played well. He had a good season.

He had a good season, and he won the Super Bowl, and he retired. And sure, he was getting to an age where players stopped playing well, and it was probably a good decision. But there's no saying he couldn't have won the next year. He might have. Yeah. It is crazy how some of these athletes how old they are like there's that guy in the major league baseball bartolo cologne who's morbidly

obese and he's been pitching since like 1993 94 something crazy like he's not he's someone that you wouldn't just walk into um a store and see them there and be like, that guy's a professional athlete? Man, at first glance, I was like, no way. He's a guy that if you walked in and someone said, hey, that's Greg. He has a serious eating problem and he drinks way, way too much. And they'd be like, oh, man, that poor dude. Like, yeah, I can see all that age on him.

Man, like, that's so sad. Who's he play for? Like, look at how he's dressed. I think he plays for the Mets, right? Okay. Maybe. I just looked up fat MLB player. And there he is.

He's there a lot. He's kind of leading the image search. He's the flagship fat MLB guy. Coaster boy for MLB. There is a guy from the Texans who's holding it down. Did you ever hear the story about Yarmir Yager, the 44-year-old still in the NHL, just became second

most, just past Mark Basia. You already know this, Woody. And he is single, no kids, 44, spent 25 years in the NHL, 25 years playing professional hockey, and he was sleeping with this porn star. This, like, not, like, real porn star where they're, like, whoring themselves about he was sleeping with his porn star this like not like real porn star where they're like whoring themselves about like an instagram porn star

where they're like showing ass pictures and everything and she took a picture of herself like mostly naked in a bed with him as he was sleeping and you could see it was yarmir yager and she blackmailed him for it and said like i'm gonna show everybody this picture and they're gonna know that you slept with me unless you give me money and he said go ahead and show everyone and so they put it out there and the response was just like whoo jogger 44 years old still in the nhl still slaying 18 year old instagram posts and telling him to say fuck it show everybody i'll have another one tomorrow you know how much money i make? I literally own a team. What he has, he's made so much money,

as soon as nobody will sign him in the NHL, he owns a team in the Switzerland Professional League. And so he's going to move to Switzerland and be like, you know, I'm the owner of this team, and God damn it, I'm the first line center. Is he doing that? I don't know if it's in Switzerland, but he does own a team. So he'll show up over there.

I hope he plays a couple more years. I want to see him get more points than Gretzky has assists just to ruin that stat. His teammates all seem to like him. He played for Philly for a while, and he seemed more washed up than he does now somehow. Like he came back from the KH khl and he was a little repaired when he played for philly it was like uh you know wish you the best but whatever you can go anywhere you want but you can't stay here yeah yep and he's gone everywhere he wants and now florida really likes him so good for him it's an awesome life to lead yeah hopefully it's it's nice when things go well and like

like nobody was hurt along the way like if he was scott stevens or something it'd be like fuck him oh my god you know like it is a black eye on hockey's history but you know he's just a good guy played hockey did his thing no yeah everyone likes jogger everybody likes even though he played for pittsburgh even though he played for pittsburgh kyle who is someone in baseball i ask because like who's like the guy that everybody loves in baseball like they like everything you won't hear anybody say a bad word about him because i know everybody like john like the old days guys will be like oh yeah stan usual nobody's ever like no he was a dick like no it's always like yeah old days guys would be like, oh yeah, Stan Musial. Nobody's ever like, oh, he was a dick. No, it's always like,

yeah, he was a good guy. Stan the man that stuck for a reason. Stan the asshole. I can't think of anybody that really stands out as some nice guy who's always doing charity. Who's the relief pitcher for the Braves? Rocker or something? John Rocker. John Rocker. That's the guy

you're looking for. Yeah, he went on up to G. York, and he didn't like what he had to see. What? On that subway with all them fags and queers. And black people, I think, as well. Can you explain this to me? What happened? John Rocker was a Braves release pitcher. He was born and raised not too far from where I live.

Threw the ball like 104 fucking miles an hour, right? That's why we wanted this guy. We were going to play the Yankees in the World Series that year. This is like 99, something like that. And they get up there, and John Rocker takes a little ride on the subway and didn't like what he saw. And when he was interviewed by, I don't know, The Post or New York Magazine or MLB.com or whatever,

he was very straightforward and honest about what he didn't like. He called it Jew York, and he didn't like all the blacks and the fags, and he pulled no punches. And the thing about John was he was a bit of, like, when he comes out on the field, like when they call him out to come, like, save the game, he would come out running from the bullpen straight across the field pumped up like like super game face on like he's coming to fight he's got he looks like ronda rousey like fucking pouting like he's got a mouth guard in for some reason and and so so he comes out into yankee. There's chunking batteries at him and stuff.

He doesn't care. He's getting death threats. We lost the series, though. We lost the series. Did they play Wild Thing when he came out? Or am I crazy? I don't think they did. If somebody did that as a bit of a joke, that's funny. They did it for the Indians.

What's his name? In the movie. Charlie Sheen name in the played for the indians in the movie charlie uh charlie sheen you know with the glasses and everything and the braves ever won the world series 1995 was the last time huh yeah i don't know that very well world series history but yeah john rocker was a cool player um not he was entertaining he was entertaining to watch because you didn't know what you'd get out of him. He was super emotional. And the crowd's reaction to him was what was great.

It was cool to see him go up there and really rile up the New York crowd and just be like, I came and looked at what you guys have. Pretty disgusting if you ask me. I hope we get this done in four. That was just kind of his general attitude about going to New York.

They almost did. Not as lovable as... I think we won one game. I know, two or five. Well, yeah, he almost guessed it right, just in the wrong direction. Dude, UFC. I'm getting more excited for that. They did take another fight and put it on the main card,

so the pay-per-view will have five fights instead of four. Dude, UFC. I'm getting more excited for that. They did take another fight and put it on the main card. So the pay-per-view will have five fights instead of four. And I don't know. Ronda Rouse is fighting, and I can't deny that I'm interested in that. Yeah, there's a lot on the line because it's not just a loss and a win. This feels like Ronda's whole career is on the line. This feels like Ronda as a person is on the line. It's been built up as that, at least.

It feels like if she loses this, her soul breaks in half and she can no longer fight. When, in fact, she probably is the best, you know, Bantamweight fighter in the world. It doesn't make sense for her to come back against Nunez. Like, I wouldn't have said yes to that if I were her. I'd have wanted to fight, not Holly Holmes either. I'd have wanted to fight not Holly Holmes either. I'd have wanted to fight a third person. Bring Misha Tate out of retirement?

Yeah, yeah. Like, Misha's over there, bloodied and bruised from, like, the last fight. One of her face tits deflated. Like, fucking kick her ass. Yeah, yeah. Both of those would be tough. I'm really looking forward to it, though. I think it could go – Rhonda could easily win this thing.

She could arm bar in the first round like she's done like eight or nine other people. Anything could happen. If she can defend against – I think if she can defend against the clinch the way that Holly Holm did and not get thrown, then she's going to win. Rhonda – I'm sorry I interrupted you. Rhonda takes a lot of heat for her striking, but her striking looked pretty good against... I can't do her name. Apparently, Beche is wrong.

It might just be Bech. Sure. We know what you mean. Yeah, names is my thing. But, you know, of course, that woman is not an elite fighter but uh you know who knows she's got knockout power in her hands she took out beche in 13 seconds uh that's not likely with nunez her name is nunez they've been calling her nunez but apparently that's wrong according to portuguese speakers who cares how the fuck the Portuguese say it though? We say it our American

way as far as I'm concerned. You never heard anybody go excuse me, it's not Paul. It's Paul. You've never heard that Portuguese person? No, no. It's Kyle. It's uh...

Excuse me. It's Kyle not Kyle Kyle, not Kyle. You're right. We're all happy for you. You know, Nunez, Nunez, Nunez, whatever, it doesn't matter. But I think she's going to win, though. I think she hits harder than Ronda. I know she's faster than Ronda.

But I think if Ronda throws her on the ground and saps her energy for that first round, then it's a different fight in round two. And she might just break her arm in round one. But if she can keep Ronda from grabbing her and throwing her, then Ronda's going to lose. I love grappling, and it's the thing I'm better at. So in my head, I like to think it's the more effective aspect of fighting. my head i like to think it's the more effective aspect of fighting but the truth is it really only seems to work it like it seems like your grappling has to be twice as good as the other persons to finish submissions when both people are black belts there's no submission victory like that just seems to be how it goes down and nunez is a black belt in brazilian jiu-jitsu

like she'll be hard to arm bar and i get you know ronda's an olympian but only judo so i don't know judo it you know it's i i think that she can defend against that judo throw i i was someone was saying pushing off of um holly home they pointed out how holly holmes was pushing off of um ronda's hips rather than uh going to like an underhookook and a head sort of thing. I think I saw the same video. She had her block out there. What's that guy's name? Boss Ruben? Dan Hardy is the one I was watching.

Okay, I've watched a bunch of them. But I think the consensus globally among experts is that if Ronda grabs this chick, then the chick is going to go flying. If she goes flying, they're going to get on the ground. If they go on the ground, then she's going to drag Nunez into deep water and sap her energy because Nunez is this fast muscle twitch, really can run out of energy quick if she's forced to fight for her life and get drug into a dogfight kind of fighter,

whereas Ronda seems like the better athlete maybe. I hear them saying that. I can't name all of Ronda's long fights where she proved that she's a five-round fighter. I mean, has Ronda – she went to the third with Misha Tate, and that's like it in her whole UFC run. All of them first rounds, I think, except Misha Tate, which was third. So is her conditioning probably not up to snuff? Well, I don't think it's fair to say that. God, she looks good, though.

She doesn't look soft like she has in the past. She looks jacked. Those arms look big and wide. She looks like Prime Ronda. Yeah, she looks very, very, very strong, very good. It's going to be a good fight. I'm really looking forward to it. Ronda looks fat against Tali Holmes.

She looks chunky, yeah. Fat'm really looking forward to it. Ronda looks fat against Holly Holmes. She looks chunky, yeah. Fat is the wrong term to use. But compared to the Ronda that – like compared to prime Ronda – The ring girls didn't look – she didn't look as good as trim as the ring girls. Right. Dude, her shorts in particular,

maybe they were just two sizes up or something and it changed the way she looked. But I'm like that's a lot of fucking gas on ronda that she doesn't normally have i don't know yeah it's hard to say well i hope she comes into this motivated and focused and i want ronda to win and continue winning that's the most entertaining thing but what i actually think is going to happen is that nunez is going to beat her and then we won't really care about women's bantamweight fighting quite as much ever again you know why i won't really care about women's bantamweight fighting quite as much ever again you know why i won't because she doesn't speak english because she speaks it very poorly i like i prefer for them to be american but i demand that they speak my language otherwise i just have a hard time being

a fan can't connect with you you know now you're just numbers on a sheet of paper i can now you're just a box score with no no personality as far as I'm concerned. Connor's easy to pull for, right? Yeah. He's not American, but dude, he's Irish. That's like brother, you know? That's just another flavor of American. Yeah, and his English is great. It might be better than our accent.

It's fun to listen to. I like it. I'm not so – is Zionist the right term? I don't know. But that I can't root for anyone who's not American. But, you know, when they don't speak English, it's just hard to get on their team. Yeah, I've seen her interviews. They're bad.

And I've seen, I don't know, I kind of focus on the words she uses. She's got like a handful of phrases. Oh, yes, I'm 100%. I'm great. Those are the only two words. That's all she's got if she was gay yeah well she wears the the rainbow mouthpiece and really shows off fights nunez yeah to ufc's credit it's not like part of their marketing at all like they just don't mention it it's a part of their

marketing at all that's actually true but you know like she she was when she was the challenger against misha tate um yeah you know they kind of a little bit push both women but uh i don't know i think it's i feel like the ultimate right way to handle that is well look there's way more interesting things about this person than the fact that she's gay you know she's brazilian she's a great fighter she's the champion she's this she's that the fact that she's gay, you know, she's Brazilian, she's a great fighter, she's the champion, she's this, she's that. The fact that she's, you know, licking taint in her spare time is not what this is about. It ends up not being that big of a deal when, like, you realize that sports are a meritocracy, or they should be. Because any sports that doesn't treat it as a meritocracy is going to fail. Because that's why people like sports like that's why i remember the michael sam thing for the rams when they were like

oh this gay guy is gonna you know be the first nfl player the first guy and then they drafted him they saw if he was good enough to play football and they were like honestly we don't care that you're gay you're just not good enough to be in the n. Like, I'm sorry. You're a practice squad guy. You're not going to make it. Like, they could have had him out there and had him playing and be like, you know, we're the first team. You know, the Rams have a gay player. But they're like, no, like this. No, you're not good enough to play.

They're like, it's really hard to win. We cannot carry even a single player. You know? Oh, Taylor's got to run. single player you know oh taylor's gotta run but uh yeah i i there's no sport really where i think they just put them on the team or good spirited am i wrong i'm trying to think um like there's definitely been like acts of charity and bullshit that have happened but not really i think there's some story that i can't even recover the minor details up but it seems like there's some story that I can't even recover the minor details of, but it seems like there's some guy who has been allowed to remain on a roster somewhere

for a very long time so that he keeps health benefits. Like he's ill or he has a child who's ill or something like that. Do they play a man down, though, or do they have him on injured reserve? I don't even know the sport we're talking about. I just have that vague memory of that. There's a guy out there who's on a professional roster so that he maintains some benefits or something because he needs them, and it's sort of this heartwarming goodwill kind of story.

Do you know what we're talking about, Taylor? Are you familiar with this story at all? I'm not. There's a guy. I want to say he's a football player with a spinal injury, but I might have invented that. And he's just on the roster so that they can pay his bills for years. I've heard of stuff like that.

I don't know, though. Or the same kind of thing where they sign a kid with cancer to a one-day contract and they do stuff like that, which I think is really sweet. It's silly, of course, but that's a kid that needs something in their life you know like just do something for him are they paying him one 365th of the minimum salary i hope i'd come back with that if i was the kid so how much do i make you $385 let's go i've been here for hours no way it'd be like yeah you know you owe me it's yeah you owe me I figured he'd been there for like four hours or something he's like you don't be

fair's fair I'm not trying to twist your arm here I've been here for five hours though like at the beginning of the day they're like and you know what that means you get paid 1.365 of the minimum league salary then at the end of the day like when they're writing the check they're like alright told you to get here this morning at 10. Didn't see you until

1041, actually. A little disappointing, but it's only one day, so what are we going to do? I wouldn't sign you to another one-day contract, I'll tell you that. And then, you know, you happen to leave a little bit early because of the cancer, and so that'll be three hours and 16 minutes of pay for you. And you do forfeit that since you weren't

here the minimum required amount of time. There are a lot of forfeit that since you won't hear the minimum requirement. There are a lot of banned substances that you're on right now, it seems. Right. If morphine you're on right now, it'd kill any of our players. Yeah, that would be an upset way to ruin a child's life. Oh man, there was this story at Christmas where this kid was dying and he was afraid he was going to die before Christmas.

And so they had a guy who was like a mall center or something go in to like see the kid and like before he goes in before he goes into the hospital room he tells the family members he's like look if you can't if you're gonna cry when you come in don't come in he's like i need everybody to hold it together when i go in there and he said he's like i go to walk in and none of them came with me he's like i I go to walk in, and none of them came with me. He's like, I get to the bed, and he's like, hey, Santa. He's like, hello there, young man. I heard you were afraid you were going to miss Christmas. And the kid's like, yeah, I'm dying.

Can you help me, Santa? Help me, Santa. And the newscaster's like, what'd you do? He's like, well, i just hugged him and and then he died right there he died right there and i was like oh god this is the saddest story ever breaking i look i look next to my girlfriend's crying like tears pouring down her face like this this old santa claus is telling the saddest story of all time of the kid dying in his arms and in his head he's like i

wanted to be around to like be uplifting but he shows up and a kid died and he's doing something nice i bet like there's no way it was actually christmas like he showed up you know they went through and they you know after the kid fell asleep the night before they change all the calendars in the room they put decorations up the kid knew it was early like like that was the thing like this is like this is this is recent this is like two weeks before christmas like the kid thinks he's gonna die of cancer and so they have santa come in they give him a little christmas talk hey say what you want kid's not dumb there you go yeah he got what he wanted you know what he did he he really traumatized that santa's the rest of his life oh god right now every time a kid sits on his lap, he's just crying on the inside. Santa, before you go, can I ruin the holiday season for you forever?

You're clearly someone who cares very much about the holidays, and I'd love nothing more than to die in your arms. Oh, Jesus. That's sad. Have you guys ever seen anyone die? On the internet, dozens of times. My grandmother, like, slipped into unconsciousness and then died shortly thereafter in front of me.

But I don't think I saw the... I certainly didn't see the moment she died, though. I don't think I have either. I've seen animals die. I saw Jack die. I've seen animals die. I saw Jack die. I've killed animals. Yeah, I forgot. I put them to sleep and stuff.

You ever kill an animal with your bare hands? Extreme hunting. I shot a squirrel. I've told that many times. You had to finish it off with a strangle. Why would you die? No, I don't think I've ever killed anything with my bare hands. I feel like seeing someone die in real life,

I feel like seeing all of it happen online may be reverse helpful as to what you would think. I feel like people have seen people die online in such gruesome ways that they've found a way to distance themselves from death but if you would see it in real life i think that illusion of i i can handle this would be shattered immediately and most people would like break down not like an old person dying of a disease that you saw long coming like someone you know being mangled in a car accident and like struggling to survive as like help is on the way or something like that i think would be way more impactful than people imagine just because we do get this like fake prep online of like oh i can watch this guy whose life

is nothing like mine three million miles away behead this other guy who also is from an area three million miles away not to make too big a deal out of it. I was driving by a car accident, and just as I passed it, they put the... Like, it was going super slow. And I saw them... I don't know if I saw them put the body on the gurney, but I definitely saw them pull the sheet over the face

so you knew that they were dead and, like, start to wheel it towards the ambulance. And it really like hit me that day i was like dude like somebody died on the freeway today and i saw them i was going home from work one night and an suv had overturned and rolled you know several times and when it does that everything all the glass gets shattered and all the things that are in the car get dispersed across the interstate and I've done that. And among those items or things just randomly on the road were three bodies wrapped in fucking sheets on them.

And they had road flares thrown out everywhere. And that's on the way home from work at 9, 30, 10 o'clock at night. It's just like, fuck, they didn't make it home. Shit. When I did that, the bystanders like pulled over to help me and stuff were so nice they collected all my money i had like uh 32 singles or something because i was a broke person and that's the way i carried my money i had singles and uh and yeah they like like money was like blowing down the interstate and stuff and they gathered it all up and put it in like this duffel bag i had and did you see anything during your accident kyle like a breaking

bad moment like you know that season where the you just see that toy animal floating in the pool and then you find out oh it found it found its way into a pool because a plane exploded and everything fell down in there and and you know it was a whole tragic thing you know if i if that is not a spoiler for anyone who thinks that's spoiler that's been there. And, you know, it was a whole tragic thing. You know, that is not a spoiler for anyone who thinks that's a spoiler. That's been out for years. And, you know, it was creepy. What was the point of the plane? Did that tie into the plane?

They seemed to spend a lot of time on it. Oh, yeah, it tied in, big time. Well, see, the whole season, you were wondering what disaster had befallen Walter White's home because they just show you this black and white sort of panning footage of his pool and such. And there's, I don't remember exactly what you're seeing,

but you're seeing burning wreckage. You're seeing like money in the pool at one point. You see a body and the car is damaged. It looks, from the outside looking in, if you don't know that this freak accident happened because Walt allowed this girl to die And her father couldn't focus as an air traffic controller, and then he let fucking air airliner collide You don't know all that you think the cartel came

They fucking came to Walt's house and the end of the cartel came to Walt's house Then it's all out in the open you know that's like the season three or something You know it's way too early for it all to be out in the open And and it and so it was a real like shit. How's way too early for it all to be out in the open. And so it was a real like, shit, how's he going to get out of this one? So it was because he watched that girl die. I think she choked on her own vomit or something. And her father was a flight controller.

And he didn't do a good job, so they had an airplane crash. I didn't know all that was downstream. Yeah why he when he when walt they have that school you know come together after the fact remembrance thing with the big chorus of all the kids there and they're all having the faculty talk in the gym and they're all like this is such a tragedy you know walt you'd like to say something and his like whole spiel was like you know in the grand scheme of airplane tragedies, this is ranked seventh. Did you know that? Seventh.

There are six. Or like 17th. Not even in the top 10. Not even in the top 10. In the U.S., did you know? In 1988, a crash over Nevada caused 600 deaths because it collided into whatever. Did you know? In Arizona the following year. And then he goes through and everybody's's like oh, this is so wildly inappropriate to go

It'd be like showing up at a funeral and be like yeah, grandma was great Let's remember Grandpa, you know died so long ago a fresher. Yeah, that was a Grandma went to sleep just think about grandpa getting sucked into that thread alone and afraid in the field right now Grandma's death doesn't seem so bad, does it? So his speech was designed to make himself feel better, like it wasn't that big a tragedy? Yeah, he's talking to himself.

He's like, you know, this was the worst thing that ever happened. Like, there have been, you know, his analytical brain. There's 16 other instances that were far worse than this one. They were neither one was a full flight. Both flights had 20 empty seats. And, you know, thank god for small miracles or whatever he said and it was a look on the bright side cut your losses here kind of moment for him and it's just kind of flowing through him because he has to speak publicly that's a yeah i love that show

it's great um but yeah all that shit was his fault and and so like those those like cold opens at the beginning of the show or whatever you call them where you're getting those little slices of the future and it doesn't add up to what you think it does. I love that part because, you know, wonderful writing. I enjoyed that show. Yeah. Better Call Saul. When's that come back on? Soon, I hope.

I got to come on soon, right? Probably in January or March. I know it's always sunny, come soon. Rick and Morty's gotta be soon. Did you guys see the link I gave you? The two and a half minutes of stuff from this season? Yeah, I'm excited for Rick and Morty. I think there's a code up in the corner.

You can see that it's like episode six of the season. They're doing 14 episodes this season. Rick and Morty's gonna disappoint. I'm calling it. Damn it. Woody already called it. No, I called it. It'm calling it. Damn it. Woody already called it. It doesn't disappoint. Boom.

We can't both be right. It's subjective. I just feel like it's on such a high. The two seasons were so special. There's all this built-in subtlety. It seems like they're rushed or something no they've had so long but yeah they're fucking about like i don't know i just think they lost i think they're off their

game i hope i'm wrong but that's what i think is gonna happen i think they'll do well i'm hoping they do well for the same reason you know 14 episodes this year instead of like eight or ten or whatever it was last year like There are more episodes this year than there are total. We're going to double our Rick and Morty content or something like that. That's probably not accurate. I think the first season had 6 or 8 and then the second season had 8 or 10

and now we're getting 14. I think they both had 10. They didn't. So much bigger commitment this time around a lot more episodes. I'm excited. I like Rick and Morty. I've been watching a lot of, I don't know, Rick and Morty dissecting videos where they find stuff in the background

and stuff. There's a lot of testicles in the background animation. Just huge balls floating around in the background and stuff in some scenes. I thought that was funny. I would like another... I miss Fargo season one wish i want something else like that i really missed that i saw that um what's his name um not woody harrelson the other one

matthew mcconaughey said that he was open to doing uh the true detective season three i think there were 11 in the first season yeah there's 11 in the first season yeah there's 11 in the first season 10 in the second season YouTube lied to me YouTube lied to you I watch I rarely go on

ask reddit because it's always stupid questions framed to not seem too sexual but really it's a horny 17 year old that wants to masturbate to what he perceives to be women commenting about something that he thinks is sexy. So I don't usually go, and when you get past that barrier,

when you go right past that barrier, it's nothing but dumb puns that everybody votes to the top, and you don't get any good answers, but every once in a while there's a good one, and I found one that was what's the creepiest thing to happen on the internet and i always like when i see stuff like that i like to click it because it's always like something unnerving that you haven't seen before yeah video links of actual stuff what like just kind of using this as a jumping off point i'm sure you

could go through this and find lots of stuff but what's something that you've seen on the internet that like it doesn't have to be like so crazy that everybody thought it was revolving. Maybe just something that just you there's these there's these vacation pictures of this couple where it's just like two of them and one of them like walks out on this like I think they're like the Grand Canyon or something and one of them walks out onto this rock formation and the other one is way pretty far away taking the photo and it was just the two of them. But when you look in the photos, there was another individual hiding in the bushes behind the person who's out on the rock, like hiding there, like definitely not like a hiker, like

there's someone in the bushes like ducked down hiding like they're getting ready to like push him off that thing or something it's very terrifying and unnerving when you like zoom zoom zoom you're like oh fuck did they did well i'm i need to find this picture and they didn't see the pic and they didn't know about it until the you know the film is developed and everything you know it's hidden person in hiking picture this has to this has to find something right that sounds good dude mine is really good it is it doesn't work for the show because it's a long read and it'll take you 30 minutes or so but um it's about these two spelunkers and they're like really hardcore into spelunking and they find a a new place to go but they have to like carefully like chip it away and make the the opening like they can see on the other side that there's like a room or like a place to be but they have to like you know they work forever and apparently like because there's not much room it's hard to

open the space that they need to crawl through and they work on that for days and like creepy shit's happening like they think they hear i'll stop there but that link i gave you um welcome to the page of ted if anyone wants to find it. And it's an angel fire website, like old school. It is so scary. And I'm not even sure what's true and what's not. Because there's pictures along the way that document their journey. Welcome to the page of TED.

Oh, man, this is a spooky website already because it's white text on a black background. This guy's setting the stage. He wanted to make a spooky website. It's really good. It's really good. I hope that you guys read it. I know Taylor's a big reader. I'm on it.

Yeah, I'll give it a go. Please do. I like stuff like this where the scariness is all in the events and it's not like you click it and there's some loud gif with noise that just screams at you. It's like you're being spooked to the core by just the content of it. Like you get that shiver of like, ooh. That shiver doesn't happen when you get surprise scared. That picture I just sent you, that red car beside the boy and the father

is a car bomb. And right after the picture is taken, it goes off and it kills 29 people, but not the man and the child. Holy shit. How does that even happen? If it killed 29 people? That's why it's a creepy photo.

Oh. Jesus, that's creepy. The internet has some good content, man. It's the whole planet contributing to it. You've probably seen the live suicides on air where people like... There was a reporter that shot himself while reporting. And I don't remember what his name was.

It wouldn't be a politician you're thinking of would it no it was a guy who i don't think it was a politician it was maybe it was a politician it was someone on tv i thought it was a reporter and right in the middle of reporting he just kills himself there's one that i know of um he's a politician he was a crooked politician and um he's doing like a press conference or something. But whatever happened, like if I remember it right, it unfolded that just then any hope of him getting away with this was gone. That he was going to be embarrassed. He was going to go to prison.

His family would live in shame. And they had him dead to rights. But they only had just recently got him dead to rights. Prior to that, it was like, maybe I could get out of this. I don't know. and they had him dead to rights but they only had just recently like got him dead to rights prior to that it was like maybe i could get out of this i don't know so um he's talking to like a room full of people and i think there's a podium there too and uh he pulls a gun to his head and they're like don't do it jim i think his name is jim and he does it and he shoots his own brains out in front of everybody he's like stay back now this thing's dangerous is that what he's is that it something like that yeah yeah he says

something now he's like all right now this thing's dangerous everybody back now don't anybody get hurt bam and then like so much blood comes out of his nose so much blood yep you guys way more blood than you think comes out of a nose when you die and then you realize there's a lot of blood in your brain and when you turn that to sewage and soup it just starts pouring out on a related note uh one time i've told the story many times we were going to the boardwalk my arm was in the sling guy talks trash we turn around now i'm in the front of the group guy broke my nose right while my arm was in the sling and uh it bled so much so much i was like i remember like half concussed confused what have you thinking that's a lot of blood that is just is such a tremendous amount of blood and i was disappointed in myself because i was not interested in fighting now granted i'm still

groggy from like anesthesia and shit and just laying down. I should go easy on myself. But sometimes, like, you break a guy's nose and it really just takes the fight out of him. And that happened to me. And I was like, fuck, are you a pussy? Like, what's the story with you? One broken nose and you stop fighting? But that day I did. That day.

And there's so much blood. And I was just very discouraged from doing anything. Dick sucker punched me while I was paralyzed. Bud Dwyer's suicide. That was his name? Bud Dwyer? Someone has loud audio. Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking through this page trying to find more. It's on a website called bestgore.com

I don't want to go to bestgore.com I'm going to just bookmark this for a rainy day that'll get me off hard you can still send messages to the Heaven's Gate cult because they left one guy behind

that's good because we're going to need to get in touch with them in hell with him yeah oh you mean all the people that killed himself there were children in that too well that's the way it works you think god's really strict about that he'd be like well were they baptized didn't think so but probably in some spooky jonestown baptism yeah flavor aid lake of fire for them my friend if horrific stuff is your cup of tea rotten.com this thing ah that's from back in high school i don't like stuff that's just horrific and gore and blood and watching people die like that i like these like picture stories just like ted's i'm so glad you like me this

ted's thing because this is the kind of thing i'll read and like where it's like you're reading it and the spookiness is in the story it's not in someone trying to gore you into being scared which is scary it's just not the the spooky scary that you want in these stories in the same way that like a good developing horror movie that that shocks you to your core beats a jump scare you know yeah exactly like a jump scare ruins scary movies because it tells you exactly when you're okay oh i'm scared i'm good for two minutes or so you know because they're lights out i think that's what it's called it was a recent horror movie you're familiar with it yeah i think the blind guy right no that's the it's called. It was a recent horror movie. You're familiar with it? Yeah, we were talking about that.

I think the blind guy, right? No, that's the one where they flip the lights on and off. We watched the trailer to it on the show. It sucked. Lights Out is awful. That is a shitty, shitty horror movie that everyone seemed to think was good. Like, that everyone thought was deep,

or the twist. Dude, it's a crappy movie. It's a bad movie full of bad action scenes, and there's nothing redeeming about it. It is a caricature of a horror film. Glad I didn't watch that, then. I've never been to Rotten.com. I just clicked it, and this is a very muted-looking website

for the name of the things that it's posting they got meat grinder 2 it was such a big hit that they had to do another one it's just it's just described as very unfortunate kitchen mishap um dr sputnik's society pages updated daily celebrity gossip and news that. That's more interesting to me than Myanmar hack job just because this person's posting about celebrities in between posting run for your life

videos, knife fight and nostalgia pan-Asian kink. I'm not clicking on any of these things. I clicked on porno on the left because, I don't know, I guess that's just how I'm wired. It any of these things I clicked on porno on the left because I don't know I guess that's just how I'm wired it went to a bad link

I was like oh this old site is like broken links when I clicked on it it took me to some like hey would you like to buy this domain like placeholder page what man this is a jaded motherfucker the content guy at rotten.com

try getting the content guy at rotten.com to enjoy your christmas party or something like there is no way you try and talk about work or anything like hey yeah we got a good deal like it's you know great commission on this that and the other thing oh it's great man yeah i posted a video of a coyote eating a an infant scrotum while a bunch of ukrainian men laughed i did that about 9 15 this morning right as i had what were you doing 9 15 this morning soon afterward i masturbated to someone with an amputee a fetish i never anticipated myself having, but now I have by default because I've ruined my mind. I've ruined my mind. It's a cesspool of

insanity. It's the only way I can finish now. And the only next step is I'll have to masturbate while I watch the actual limbs be amputated. That's coming. I almost choked my cat to death. I'd get off on ISIS videos. My cat is also into erotic asphyxiation.

He's in on it. Yeah, it's a do or die situation for him. We both choke ourselves and watch. You and your cat. Yeah, yeah. I've been watching MSNBC content expose all this stuff that Trump is doing. Viewed through that lens,

he is a very corrupt motherfucker he is like like the percentage of his cabinet that were like major donors is unprecedented exxon that wwe appointment that i like so much i'm like she's a small biz third biggest donor she was his third biggest donor um rex tillerson or whatever his name is has like no government experience and apparently as exxon goes they did a lot of shit that was like against america's best interest like you know halfway trader stuff um well it's not to be to be fair it's yeah when you're working for exxon mobile that is your country like you're you're interested in the best of exxon mobil if you're if you're a global company you don't play favorites with you know certain countries it's not good business to be like oh yeah well i want to make sure that everybody knows i'm all about the usa with this

company so i mean it sounds weird to say that but yeah i think his job he has to facilitate whatever the best deal is you i will see whether or not he can change gears as he goes into his next job. Yeah, we'll see. Or whether he's just secretly working for his old one, because that's where the bread is buttered. You know, I don't know. It's very scary. If you watch MSNBC, a terrible thing has happened to our nation. If you

watch MSNBC, you know, the apocalypse is on, like, day four. Like, we're already in the middle of it. Like, we're not even debating if it's gonna happen. Like, he hasn't taken office yet, and already the world is crumbling four. We're already in the middle of it. We're not even debating if it's going to happen. He hasn't taken office yet, and already the world is crumbling! If you watch Fox, he's responsible for the good economy over the last couple of years.

Yeah. Well, it hasn't really been a good economy the past couple of years, so you should not be taking credit for that. Well, I'm happy with my portfolio. I'm really looking forward to the man taking office and starting to see what he'll

do. I do believe that we're going to see what you predicted, Woody, and that is that oh, Congressman McGillicuddy from the great state of Texas is holding things up? Well, let me just tweet about him. Excuse me, I'd like to talk to the good people of Texas right now about Congressman McGillicuddy, who's taken

money out of your pocket right fucking now by not voting on this tax cut. That's for you. That's for you. You pay more because of McGillicuddy. That should be his slogan next year. It's going to be real bad for Mr. McGillicuddy. He's not going to get elected. Yeah.

He pointed his Twitter account at Megyn Kelly. You think he won't do it at McGillicuddy? He will. He will. I hope that not only does he do that, but it sets a new precedent that, like, whoever is president after Trump, you know, carries on with that practice. He uses the fucking... Bully pulpit. The POTUS at Twitter.com account.

Like, the real one. I think his has more followers followers though oh it's it dominates the president's account as far as actual if i'm just guessing off the top of my head i think the president's got like 11 million 12 million and donald's got like 17 million which are both shockingly low numbers when you look at justin bieber and miley cyrus but like yeah it it's it's worth noting that you know all the politicians had bought followers and stuff i don't know if the potus one does or not i'm sure they all do fair to advertise them every night on the nightly news though you would think donald trump's twitter

would be going bananas like he should have 400 million followers it has gone like i remember during the election he had like 12. I got one point. Hillary had like 10 million and Trump had like 11, 12 million. And I just remember looking. 9.5 million of Hillary's were fake. I know. Yeah.

And you just guarantee. Cause like Hillary's tweeting out things to 10 million people. Everyone in Chicago. The whole air metro area. And then grab a little bit of Detroit to. Throw that in. She's tweeting to that many people and like 400 of them like it. It's like there's no fucking way.

Donald gets like 30-40,000 likes and retweets and stuff like that. Yeah. And it's just because I think the novelty of Trump, the way he's used his Twitter, has gotten him more following because... They mention it every night on TV. On the nightly news. They talk about it all day on the radio.

His Twitter is a bigger news story than Hillary Clinton. They talk about it constantly. It's shocking to me that it's not bigger. He has such a bully pulpit with that. It's so convenient. He could just write 140 characters and own the news cycle.

Which I feel like no one else is we've got some breaking news right now that's right Donald Trump just has responded via Twitter and and they just read his fucking tweet tweet I would love it if he started posting like stupid shit like everyone else does like hey fantastic it's like pictures of his IHOP breakfast food oh yeah that's Like ripping on the White House cooking staff, like, absolutely gonna have to bring in a couple of my favorite Mexicans to make these taco bowls. And then send that tweet

out and people are gonna be like, what the fuck? What were you meaning? Oh, you know, again, I just, you know, for the morning, needed a taco bowl. Back to bed. You know? He only gets four hours a night. He does. Some people do that that i bet it is true he's he he is like cnn has anchors whose job is to sit in the war room at like four in the morning just in case something happens and those guys are like ted wake up wake up trump just tweeted something

fuck fuck something happened in aleppo we gotta figure this out all right real quick like and they're doing it and meanwhile trump somehow figured it out and tweets about it obviously he gets Trump gets two percent of the information but he's made up his mind he knows he knows what's happened he keeps getting it right for the most president like Trump there's a situation going down in Aleppo and we just have to inform you that I already understand what's going on and I know how to respond I'm going to tweet about this fat pig, Rosie O'Donnell, and then I will get straight to that. She's not just fat. She's ugly. She's ugly and fat.

And sad. She's got a junkyard mouth. A lot of things are sad in Trump's world. Speaking of which, I'm going to go on a brief Tom Arnold tangent, and then I will be back to Aleppo. He hasn't addressed the Tom Arnold stuff, has he? What is the Tom Arnold stuff? I don't think I wantnold claims he did like hey i've got a bunch i've got everything in the bag and then everybody's like yeah tom arnold has it yes okay well he was you you're this big i hate trump guy

and you have the bag as like as like as he was one of the celebrity apprentices though they don't let those guys in the back room with the tapes and shit right well like and he claims that hundreds of people have seen and heard this shit and we all know somebody would have been like fucking i guess what it had gotten that audio the claim is that there was kind of like a funny rap party show you know what i'm talking about at the end of the season, they take outtakes and stuff. And that on that, there's Trump saying a lot of regrettable things and that he has a copy of it.

Yeah, calling his kids retards and saying that nigger and cunt and anything bad you could possibly say. I think Tom Arnold's lying. Because if that existed, we'd have seen it by now. We'd have at least heard it by now we'd have heard the audio we'd have heard the audio if that was a thing out there but it's like if like uh kelly and conway

tweeted out like you know thank god this didn't leak prior to the election you know and it came out like yeah that that she would never do that but it's someone who was on trump's side like obviously someone who hates trump is gonna say if they really want attention because they haven't been relevant since the early 90s they'll say oh i've got everything in the bag oh you should release it no no no no no trust me i've got it you know yeah show us tom arnold show us like you're finally relevant relevant again show us what you have ah have you seen my friend david sm? He's got some golden tablets in a hat. Come here.

Can I see them? No, no, no. He'll read them for us. He's the one who sees them. Nah, I'll show you guys eventually, but I'm doing stand-up down at a Mexican food cart in downtown LA. He's using the limelight to pimp his shit.

I love that. I love love that I hope he does that in like those in like official presidential duties I hope he's like somewhere like doing some you know state of the union and like you know don't forget we're running half price sales on Trump steaks I wouldn't like it if it was that

self serving but I wish he'd like mention some American products right now like I just want to thank DuPont and Nabisco for keeping their factories here and the great state of Washington. A couple companies didn't take the big step, though. He's got a list there. He's like Mark Wallaby, CEO of General Motors.

He's an asshole. I hate to see him throwing people under the bus constantly. It's fun to see him do that. I hope he doesn't start a nuclear war with his Twitter, though, as some are proposing he could do. That doesn't seem likely. No, that's ridiculous. He's not going to start a nuclear war with Twitter.

Like the president or all the chairmen, that little oligarchy of people in China. They're all sitting there in a boardroom. We can't let him do this on Twitter anymore. It is too powerful. It's like they would just say,

actually, most Americans do not care for him. I say we let him keep tweeting. You know? It is a good point. I think it's more North Korea, though. They say that North Korea's war plans include an early nuclear strike against definitely South Korea and maybe even Japan. That's what his plan is if something goes off. So maybe you spook Kim Jong-un with, you know how Trump likes to go off.

I remember a while back he was talking about killing that guy. They asked him, were you talking about assassination when referring to Kim Jong-un? And Trump's like, hey, there are worse things. Maybe Trump tweets something like that about killing Kim Jong-un, and Kim Jong-un hits the big red button. I imagine he's got an actual big red button that he can mash to make missiles fire.

And it's on his desk next to the red phone, and if they put paper, like there's a manila folder on it, and he hits it by accident. Yeah, it just happens. You know, we've just been very lucky that... Cap on top, it's just there, exposed on the desk. It's just like a

That Was Easy button from Target, or who had that? That Was Easy, yeah, Staples. Yeah, like Woody, he's getting the intro from Obama, and Obama's like, be really careful about that button. Knocked a glass over onto it on the first day. Almost ruined the world.

Learned since then. Just wanted to keep your heads up. There are no safety measures. Do you remember, we used to play, I used to play with T-Mart, Call of Duty, all the time. Almost every night I'd play with T-Mart. And he had a That Was Easy button he'd use when people talked trash. At the end of games

after we won, he'd play That Was Easy into the mic at game battles, stuff like that. It was outstanding. That's right. He was so sweet. I don't think he could deliver a harsh message, but he had an automated one that worked just fine. I think I'm going to

get on and play in a little bit. Yeah, I'm going to play too. Chiz and I got on last night and just had the worst time ever. Just lots of bad luck. Sometimes it goes like that. Thrown into bad lobbies and just half done games. And we joined one game. We were on the bad end of Bog.

And it was just the worst things that could happen. A couple of bad shit, but games we were playing against against full parties it's no fun at all last night you need just one slaughter monster like you know oh are we on the wrong side of bog that's okay socrates is here so you know he just is like a police canine dog like get him socrates get him get them all you know and then helicopters are going had a guy. He turned out to be a stealing scumbag. But his name was... Granted condo. Yeah.

He stole from me. I never got past it. His name was like Prey Mantis or something. I forgot the exact name. Holy shit. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. That's a weird way. That wasn't his gamer tag, but it was something like that.

Yeah, I didn't. Yeah. And we were playing. The other team was just brutal to play against. I think they were using all noob tubes, and it was Modern Warfare 2. That's who I'm thinking about. Was it called a thumper or something? Yeah.

And it was just no fun to play against. And we were like, dude, this is terrible. Can you get a nuke? And he's like, yeah, sure. And I swear, it takes 25 kills, right? It took him maybe 60 seconds, and he's calling the nuke in, and it was just outrageous. It's like cheating to have him on your team.

But he was so good. That's what you needed. A Prey Mantis or whatever his name was. Yeah. You guys want to call it a show? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. My leg hurts.

I think these Yeezys are cutting off the blood circulation on my feet. I think that glue may have seeped into my pores. It's an infection from substandard materials. No, they're the only sneaker with lead leap. Trademark. It's so toxic. We use genuine mercury in lead. PKM, we've done something.