Painkiller Already - PKN #128

Episode Date: February 2, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

I head pressed it all this time. It takes forever. I was just telling them, like an idiot, I went to the PKA subreddit. And I don't know why I do this. Maybe I felt good about myself. I had a really good day. It was fantastic. I woke up. I took a motorcycle. There's an abandoned castle in North Carolina. And the weather was great, but too windy to go flying. So I'm like, you know what? Let's take the motorcycle out. I ride the motorcycle out. I go just walking around this abandoned castle. I come back. I spend some quality time with Jackie.

Then she makes dinner. It's a fucking home run of a day, right? And let's just cap it off with some PKA subreddit. And they said, filthy talk to... Oh, go ahead. Did you want to jump in? We'll see. You just said all this to us,

and so I just wanted, for the audience's sake, apparently they're not giving you your due with the drinking episode. That's right. So it says, Filthy Talked a lot of shit in the drinking episode. And I don't recall Filthy Talked. I don't recall that either. That's not how I remember it either.

And then I closed the tab, but it said something like you know that uh the hosts didn't drink oh so i'm just putting i'm just putting the contextual pieces together and i think i just did what the person meant i do remember filthy talking shit about uh not being able to drink about us as a group or more specifically you guys being like oh you guys can't drink you're doing a drinking episode and that's what you're drinking like that's what i think might have been the shit talk they're referring to because i was trying to think of times he was being shitty

and like trying to start something and that obviously didn't happen so that must be what they were meaning yeah saying that i can't drink well is like saying i'm bad at skipping or something like it's just my sense of self-worth is totally not wrapped up in my ability to drink. I couldn't care any less. Well, clearly. Wait, I don't understand what you're doing with that. We're having a whole discussion

here about it. Okay, okay. I see. No, I guess what... It's not that I think... What I was saying was this. I know that I don't drink well, is that I see. No, I guess what – it's not that I think – what I was saying was this. I know that I don't drink well, isn't it? I don't handle large amounts of alcohol and act like I'm not drunk. But I should get my fucking dues. I spent the night vomiting in the bathroom clinging to the cold tile floor as sweat beads poured off my forehead.

You know what? A funny little story, like little uh like um in a memento style like parallel or pulp fiction parallel story right after that episode ended me and kyle were like hey you want to you want to play call of duty you're like yeah i'm pretty drunk i'll play and so we were both sitting down like right after you had left and we were just like do you think you think he's really throwing up in the in the bathroom right now because i wasn't 100 convinced and kyle's like oh yeah oh there's no think he's really throwing up in the bathroom right now? Because I wasn't 100% convinced. And Kyle's like, oh, yeah.

Oh, there's no doubt he's coming back tonight. He may not have hung up on the Skype call, but he's not coming back. Oh, yeah. I was so sick. It was awful. And I had to render out the MP3 and upload the MP3 and upload the YouTube video. And by the way, at the time time if you uploaded both at the same time like the mp3 would get crackly or something so like there's a sequence and i have oh my god

it was so horrible and i'm just like like as i'm typing and and oh i and then i remember like their memory of it was this well at least Kyle tried I did try And the fans really noticed that and I appreciate that they did they did See Donald Trump makes that mistake he goes and reads his own personal subreddit, which is like the world yeah every day He turns on CNN and says, God damn it, they're talking about me again. He hits him in every channel. Every channel, it's like, Trump, Donald, Trump,

Donald Trump. If he flips fast enough, they'll say his name. It's been a wonder. So look, he's doing some stuff that you have to be excited about, right? Oh yeah, right. The TPP comes to mind. I don't know if there's anything else. But what's collapsing is the notion that he somehow plays 5D chess while the rest of us are playing checkers.

Like, that horse shit. The New York Times puts out an article today calling him a liar. Right? Trump's – they didn't say Trump was a liar. They said Trump repeated lies. And there's two. Of course, there's the size of the inauguration, which is just for some reason thoroughly under his skin. And the other is he's going around saying that three million illegals voted and he really got more votes than Hillary.

It's somehow he won a fair and balanced election that was just hugely likeals and corrupt, right? Those two things he wants to put together. And he's looking like an idiot. But, you know, I am addicted to my news feed lately. I've been watching all the... I try to get up to speed on this TPP thing, right? Like, let me lay out what I've learned. And you guys can correct me if you've learned anything differently. So people think of the TPP

as this American Asian type thing, but somehow didn't include China. It actually included Canada and Mexico too. They also have Pacific coasts. And it had some things that were good in there. It had labor laws. So right now, and environmental laws, right? Which is like an

area where Mexico kind of kicks our ass, for lack of a better term. They just ignore labor laws. You know, maybe they employ children, maybe they dump chemicals in the river. That makes it hard for American companies to compete on an even playing field when we put these restrictions, like no babies full of chemicals in rivers or whatever. So the TPP would have evened that playing field to some extent. It also had a lot of electronic and intellectual property right protections. So right now, kind of what happens is America will invent some pharmaceutical that's very expensive to create, but easy to make afterwards. And we just get ripped off. So there are a lot of people who feel like that's a great

thing like india gets better drugs because someone fucking like just copies well it takes away the incentive for companies to be like hey i'm gonna provide 10 billion dollars in r&d uh actually is that financially viable no no they're just gonna generic rip us off right away well let's not research medicine exactly is basically it yeah yeah, yeah. So companies like Pfizer were getting fucked by these specific companies. And the TPP would have supposedly protected that. Also, America makes a lot of IP, intellectual property, in terms of entertainment stuff. And we were going to be protected there. Software, Hollywood, whatever.

The downside of it is this. I feel like every time there's free trade, we lose. And I can't tell you what in the tpp was bad only that every other one in the history of ever has been bad for america so i'm very suspicious right that that's my take on the tpp do you guys have something different than that like i see i'm kind of on the same page i don't know that whenever bernie sanders and donald trump are going to agree on something, that it's probably right. It seems like everyone hated this thing except for Hillary Clinton

until she was told to hate it. And it's Obama's baby. And it's well past its due date. It's over. Trump's in charge. And it doesn't matter whether it's good or not. It's gone. McCain loves it.

Lindsey Graham loves it. I think Paul Ryan was in favor of it. A lot of sort of establishment people were in favor of it doesn't matter could be corrupt yeah and i don't know if these are the responsible people you know who are just going against the grain the only thing i don't like with the whole like bernie trump like supporters who are now really in favor of it is like the way that it's framed at least in a lot of articles that i read is they'll say something like the tpp has facilitated trades with mexico and we are deficient in those trades by 20 billion dollars and then you're just like oh my goodness like that must be a horrible trade deal like my god when really it's like oh if you break that down it's because we're more of an

importing nation of goods that are produced in Mexico. We're not buying pinatas from there out of fucking pity. We're buying goods from Mexico that we want because they're providing a better cost. That $20 billion they talk about, they frame it as if it's the balance at the end of transaction that we are left losing $20 dollars at the end of our our trading back and forth when in reality what it is is like they needed 20 billion dollars more of our shit than we needed of theirs it's not a zero-sum game you got wealthier when you were like hey this dollar means less to me as a dollar than it does as two heads of cabbage and so you give the dollar and they say hey what a coincidence that dollar means a lot more to me than these two heads of cabbage and so you both are coming out ahead in a way it's just really

interesting with the facts when it comes to numbers like that like he'll say he'll use that uh the trade deficit with china he's like i don't remember what it is it's 900 billion or something he's like 900 billion can you imagine that losing 900 billion like whoa we didn't lose 900 billion they didn't steal 900 billion there's just $900 billion disparity between how much is imported and exported in our Chinese relationship. Or my favorite one, China announced that they were going to build, I don't remember the number, but let's say they were going to build 500 factories. They announced that they were building 500 factories. And he used that, basically what he said from that was look we just lost 500

factories 500 factories were taken from us that's like wait a minute well i guess like the but do the china really ever was there ever a scenario where we thought the chinese would build those factories in america and like have americans build their shit just for a lark. Like, if I ever eat a steak, he's not, like, robbing me of that steak in a way, because I could have gone to whatever local grocer and purchased it. That's how he's looking at it. I don't know. The Trump thing is really entertaining. I watched it all day today, and what I saw was CNN and Wolf Blitzer and the entire news

media across the world really get bogged down in, oh, I got him. I caught him saying something that's not accurate. And they're so focused on him arguing about the crowd size, and they're so focused about him, this silly remark about there were three to five million illegitimate votes or votes that were counted improperly. The statistics he's citing are all bad. But they're all real things that at one time you could have read and had the opinions that he has. They've just all either

been debunked or recalculated. You know, the people who came out with the one study came back out a few years later and said, whoa, we were wrong. And he's not accounting for that at any step of the way. I don't know. I hope he's distracting people with his silliness, but it seems like he's really thin-skinned.

I don't think he's playing 5D chess and doing some sleight of hand over here with these lies. I think what's really happening is the press is setting a tone that if he lies, he will be called on it. This is different than you can see. Well, he set the tone, though. He came out like guns blazing on Saturday with Spicer. He's the one who's pushing this narrative.

It's not like they caught on to some little tidbit he said and are blowing it up. He came out on Sean Spicer comes out Saturday ahead of his Monday scheduled first briefing of the presidents and he's like, hey, I am coming out Monday. I'm going to do my thing then like I promised. I just want to come out here, get you people

out on the Saturday to let you know you're a bunch of scumbags. Alright? Because Big Daddy Trump's out there working hard. He, like, tried to shame them. He was like, let's do a little math real quick. The first section, that's 250,000 people. Second section, another 200,000 at least.

And he keeps going, and I just feel like he's, like, doing math in his head. He's like, are we a million yet? Are we a million yet? And then the parade grounds, that's 9 million people probably i don't know there were magnetometers like the the whole like 5d chess thing i'm on woody's same page of that's not too many d's for one thing but i but he will end up looking at some point like another media like immediate media genius again because right now the media is

shooting themselves in the foot so much with you can't you can't go the next four years turning everything up to 11 like if you're out of the gate speed is mock one like oh he's he didn't just lie about crowds he probably doesn't think that many jews died in the holocaust or whatever like just but gross crazy things so like they're they're really ruining the credibility by not tempering their their critiques they should be saying have more power when they fit an existing narrative and this narrative is getting established that trump is a horse shit bullshitter liar right and now the next time you're frozen for me they did that thing where we're both frozen i'm back oh sorry but the next time you're frozen for me. They did that thing where we're both frozen. I'm back.

Oh, sorry. But the next time that Trump says something, his credibility will be lower and lower. And Trump lies a lot. Trump is a bullshitter. And I know that there's this false equivalency like, oh, all politicians lie. Bernie Sanders and Trump were both lying. Maybe. But not like Trump.

Not like Trump. Trump will go out and just demonstrably say things that aren't true. He will tell you, I weigh less than 50 pounds. Believe it. People are saying it. And it's like, dude, no, no. We can see that's, like, obviously you're full of shit. Hillary invented the birther thing.

No, stop it. These things are just, you know, Obama wasn't born in America. Stop. No. You keep doing this, and you're ruining your credibility. But that's not the way it's going to pan out. This has been going like this for the last year and a half. All of their stones that they had ready to throw, they had hucked those stones, and he still was standing at the end of it and in all of because they spent so much time i think i could be totally wrong i just think they've spent so much time turning every little thing up to 11 like you can't just let this little thing slide like you do with every politician you have to you know really hammer down and drill in and over time it's going to make people be like this is bullshit i didn't trust these i don't trust these media people because the world is

never i think they may continue to trust him that same amount, but what's going to happen is when he actually does something illegal, they're going to be like, well, Wolf screamed and turned red when Trump lied about how many people were in his crowd. He doesn't seem any more angry. I think what you're saying is when you go to 11, it doesn't leave any room for illegal acts. Thank you. That's a much better way to ask. It doesn't leave any room for actual negligence of office or something like that. Like right now, it's just like our president has a bit of a shitty personality disorder, it seems. But hey, that's not the worst. Let's see what his business says. Let's see what he's replacing TPP with. Let's see if he actually does have anything for health care. actually does have anything for health care um you know that that's what we should be looking at uh or maybe looking at some of his nominees and seeing if any of them actually are are going to get turned away because they're not so it really seems like when you have that eventuality in your head it's like what are these senate democrats doing holding up our cia director because i don't

know anything about my staying am i crazy oh he's gone Am I crazy? Oh, he's gone. No, no. Comey's FBI. Yeah, Comey's FBI. They don't know if he's staying or not. But the CIA guy, they didn't even let the CIA guy continue his term until they had a new guy. They let him go on Friday. So we don't have a CIA director as of now. We don't have one.

If the media had a concerted effort, like if they were all in a cabal making a big plan i think the right move that they should have been like all right the second he wins our narrative 100 changes to one america we're all one america and we're all in this together and we play that for about six weeks or so you know when he makes a stupid mistake you say you know we said before the outgoing of this that we were going to give him a shot and we're giving him that fair shake i mean you know we think the american people like if they played that and then at the first like real big bomb we're like okay did obama never get into whatever the fuck they scream like then you'd be like okay this really amped up since then but because they stayed at 11 for a

year and a half through the election and then they grabbed onto the first little meaty morsel of crowd sizes crowd sizes does america care and most of america's like no no i disagree i i don't see it like that i see it like during the um election there was all this false equivalency well you know he says this she says this they're both kind of scumbags right and now there's a new thing trump is a liar and it better yet when lies, they call him on his lies. And hopefully, hopefully my my dream, not my likelihood, is that he stops lying, is that he has it reinforces his commitment to the truth. And he knows that when he just does demonstrably false, bullshitty things that he's like, well, I'm going to get blasted for this. I remember Fox News. I forget who it was on Fox News.

It might have been Bill O'Reilly. But he was like, the Daily Show calls us out on certain things. And sometimes I see a bit or I think a thing and I say, nah, we can't run that way because the Daily Show will roast us. And my hope is that Trump gets that thought every once in a while like you know what maybe i shouldn't just invent three million illegal votes or well he didn't invent he thinks that that's a thing it's been some since people have come to him with information someone whose opinion he respects has told him these things and now it's just in his head it's just in his head that because i saw those numbers

they they flashed them on the facts then right you know because it it must be in his head all the other sources that say it's not true he's like it's infuriating to like he's so fucking frustrating to watch sometimes because it's like all you want to tell him is like just dude mr president can you just drop it like nobody like if you were to let this go nobody would fucking care like they would they would they would harp on you for a second and be like this uh inauguration thing is and here's the funny thing about the inauguration thing i actually wanted to look into it and see how much bullshit it was like there was fake news within fake news in that thing because it was not as like that that picture they showed of like obama's inauguration and then his inauguration with like the enormous disparity that was obama's like at

the peak and his and like the very big when people are showing up that day it was he's at 11 59 p.m right before he started talking but hold on but you see in another picture it we're talking about different images then there was one where it showed just like you could see so much white space and then like it – I just don't get why he didn't just say, yeah, the less people turned out. Did you think more people were going to turn out for a Republican in DC? Jackass. Like really? Like why in God's name would you expect it? That's what he should have said instead of being like actually it was the biggest inauguration.

What he should have done is had the fucking inauguration in Atlanta, Georgia, and we'd have showed up. If he had an inauguration in Atlanta, it would be enormous. It's not. His inauguration was the most watched. It turns out

only Reagan had higher TV ratings. This is what I'm hearing. Only Reagan had higher TV ratings, but that was pre-internet. So when you add the 14 million people that watch it on the internet, like me, it's the most watched. Those records are going to keep you broken as America grows. But he could have said, yeah, all right, I get it. We had less people there. We had more people on TV.

People are jazzed. I'm going to get to work. Or he could have said, hey, people had to stay home because of the rain. And I'll tell you what, the average Trump supporter, he's got work tomorrow. He should have just said, exactly, they work hard. You're in the arts. That's their second job. I would have said, you know what?

Good point. Unemployment did drop during Obama's term. This is why I don't buy the 5D chess thing. If he was playing 5D chess, when they said, hey, you peeved about Obama's inauguration being bigger, he would have said, yeah, you know, definitely a bigger inauguration there. We both got blown out by Reagan, am I right? Like, I don't think anybody's going to touch that guy. But, you know, I'm just happy that people made it out to see me.

I'm looking forward so much to working with the American people and these great people that I'm meeting every day here in Washington, D.C. Like, just say that and people will be like, oh, Trump, not quite as thin-skinned as we remember. Maybe it's starting to become thickening of the skin, Trump. But nope, he has to just get upset at the drop of a hat. Arnold said that protester hit him with the egg when he was running for governor.

He said something like, ah, maybe I should get him some bacon. Ha ha ha Like as he's walking with the egg on him like this. No that was really Obama did two things I could think of one at the very end He was like, let's give him one more Biden bro me moment and he like hugged Biden or something This is like five days ago and uh another was the thanks obama thing i hope i have it right but you know everyone was saying thanks obama for things that obviously like weren't his fault yeah sure so uh your toe yeah so he's got this big glass of milk and he tries to dip his cookie in it but it won't fit and he's like thanks obama and they put it up

on youtube but it was funny and like just that little moment of being the butt of the joke self-awareness it dude it's really endearing trump has none of that trump would like not for a moment come on you've seen his commercials right like like that guy's comfortable making fun of himself when he's at least when he's part of the discussion like like he's got you know the eagle snapping at his hand he's he's dancing like an old man was that in the commercial the eagle snapping at his yeah oh okay i've seen it in i didn't know i don't i'm exposed to very few commercials i think he's fine i'd get on youtube but i think i like i have youtube red he has a hard time differentiating between like someone i don't know. It seems like if the wrong person comes after him, he doesn't get that you're still being fucked with.

He takes it as a personal assault that he would be admitting weakness if he didn't strike back at. When in reality, it's like you'd be really – depending on the insult, you can't let some guy come in as a reporter and be like, hey, bitch, answer my question. And then be like, oh, yes, sir, of course. But you don't have to keep lashing out just do enough to show that like yeah i'm the president you're not even worth my time to get upset that i'm sorry i got so much big stuff on my way like that's the me on youtube it has not set an example to follow but um but there is something about rising above you know looking too bit like just not having time for people giving you shit that uh that trump hasn't quite figured

out yet the thing with trump that like is it's easy to get wrapped up and agree with a lot of stuff that he does even if like you don't like the policies as much which is why a lot of conservatives i think switch their free trade st, because he does a good job having all the correct enemies. Like all the right groups of people dislike Trump. And so when you see, you know, Trump say something and you can be like, that's kind of not the brightest thing to say. And then you see people getting so upset and building it from the four it was to a hundred on the, Oh my God scale. Then you're like, okay, we must be doing something right because the correct groups of people are

shitting their pants over it and throwing tantrums over it. It went really, that's not a good way to look at it. Kyle said that early when this is before Trump won the primary or anything, something like 50 billionaires flew into, is it the Bahamas? Maybe Kyle remembers. Not quite as exotic.

Just off the coast of Georgia. Okay. All right. So all these people flew their private jets in off the coast of Georgia to decide how they were going to stop Trump from being president. And it's like, oh, if all those super rich fucks hate Trump, maybe I like this guy. You know who else hates Trump? Trigley Puff.

Do you remember her? The woman with the enormously fat triceps. Carl the Cuck. AIDS. Skill Rex. Those people all hate Trump. And you know what? I want them to hate me too.

I'm imagining a Tyrannosaurus with a big utility belt did I say it wrong? that's Skillrex how do you say it? Skrillex if only my arms were longer I could use these tools I get the

Skilled Tyrannosaurus anyway, Aides Skrillex I hate these people. You're right. Trump has the right enemies. 50 billionaires flying there, and they're like, these 50 billionaires organizing against Obama. If you're someone who's firmly on the right, you'll probably be like,

well, it's because he's coming after business interests. These are job creators, people who are running giant corporations. You can't just punish them too much. That's just not their salary when you look up quote net worth. Those are pensions, retirement plans, funds for the employees and whatnot. And then if you say, oh, you know, these people are all uniting, all the

same people against Trump. It's like, oh, you see, it's because he knows that they all know that they're going to get their loopholes cut, you know, because he's going to come in and say, hey, no more of this nonsense bullshit. And so, I don't know. It's just the more you think about it, you see it. Yeah. They're in a rich guy's club come in and say hey no more of this nonsense bullshit and so i don't know it's just the more you think about it you see it yeah they're in a rich guys club with trump and they're like we can't let him take the presidency they're always comparing like their supermodel wives or their golden uh uh like sports cars and

suddenly trump is about to take the greatest prize of them all and they're all jelly oh imagine how awesome they were harrumphing about that island oh as if this guy really thinks he can do it yeah why'd we meet again well he might really do it you know i i i was um i was reading on reddit about uh a kid who came from a really wealthy family i got the impression they were worth like a hundred million which is at trump level but let's just call that super wealthy yeah yeah and um anyway he was like it's not about at that level it's not about what you can and they were worth like $100 million, which isn't Trump level, but let's just call that super wealthy. Yeah, yeah. And anyway, he was like, it's not about – at that level, it's not about what you can buy because we can all buy all this stuff, right? Anyone can have this.

It's about like access. Can you get Shania Twain to play at your kid's birthday party? I get the dated reference. Miley Cyrus, whatever. Whoever's cool. I can get Shania Twain to play my birthday i got a grand birthday after the monkeys so you know but can you get this can you get you know backstage tickets to here can you you know certain cars right they don't just you can't buy an f40 you have to like work your way into the club by buying a california and being known as a car guy

and whatever. So these things are limited edition. These things, you have to be someone with more than just money. You have to be in the club. And that's where the elite stuff comes from. Trump has grabbed the most elusive, exclusive

prize to have ever exist. He is the most powerful man, the most powerful man to exist thus far in human history. People will grab like Genghis Khan or something, but no, I'm talking about raw power. Genghis Khan had no nukes, right? Trump, Genghis Khan, Trump wins without any casualties. It's not even close.

We even have more horses. I don't even know if that's true. I bet you're right. I bet the United States could assemble a horse armory to rival that of King's Con, right? What do you think the biggest country is we could conquer on horseback? Oh, Canada? Oh, yeah, you're right. We could conquer Canada on horseback.

No, we couldn't. Oh, we could. Well, you get to have modern – okay, like three drones. Like three freebie drones. But all they do is intel. Yeah. Wow. I think we could take like a Haiti, you know?

Oh, we could take Haiti with a bunch of guys on a boat. But just horseback. Oh, you don't even need the horses. We could do that on foot. Yeah. Well, do horses even help you? Yeah, I think for mobility, if you wanted to get 50 guys into

the center of the city with machine guns and explosives and rockets and air support helping them out, maybe horseback could be done. It's not ideal, but I guess it depends how you're going to take over the country, because I always heard the way to do it would be to take down all the power

grids, like If you could take down very specific locations. That checkbox can't be approved. I don't want to conquer Haiti. Somewhere better. It's right next to our same climate. Much better country. You want to be responsible for us?

Please. Why doesn't Puerto Rico want to be a state? Don't they? I don't think so. I don't think they do. Okay, well, that's stupid of them because we don't want them either. We don't want their debt and all their issues. It's because a 51-star flag looks retarded.

I've seen mock-ups of it. They just stick a star in the middle or something. It looked pretty cool. Don't they just shift it or something? And it works? I saw one with cool patterns of stars. There was a circle of stars and then stuff around it for the 51. I don't know. There's a lot of different designs for it. Remember when we had the circle

of stars? Was that like the 13 colonies? Well, they've done it a bunch of times. Like the flag just prior to the Civil War that the abolitionists put together was a circle of stars, and they were the non-slave states represented. I like the circle of stars more. I do too. I have Googled this. Just consolidate our states.

I found a few 51-star arrangements that we could use. I've seen the special circular. I like that. I don't know about the special, you know? The checkerboard on the left was the one I was referring to. It somehow has a shift. I don't know how you get 51, because it looks like it would have to be an even number.

But I guess if I counted them, they'd be there. Special looks unplanned. I feel like if you hire – Special looks like a panic. It looks like it's moving. Like if you told a fourth grader to put 51 stars on there, you'd end up with special. That's probably how they achieved it. That looks like – you know how Betsy Ross was a kindergarten teacher or whatever and she designed the first one?

What if they just did that again? They're like, well, you know, we're one for one so far. Miss Appleby, could you give it a go? It's got fucking hand turkeys all over it. Like, fucking, looks terrible. I kind of like modified checkerboard. I'm sorry, General Johnson.

I want something more aggressive. I feel like we need a new flag for the 21st century. I like the stars and stripes being there, but I think we need some weaponry displayed. I like those flags that have AKs on them crossed. I think there's an African flag with maybe a spear and a shield or something. I think we should at least get the eagle on there like the Mexicans have. Don't they have an eagle on their flag maybe?

I saw a TED talk about flags. This guy talked for like 20 minutes about flags, and it was completely riveting. It was one of the best TED talks I've ever seen. High standard. I think that if you saw it it would influence your opinion on what you're looking for you'd be looking for a simple bold easily recognizable and creatable flag we got our branding down pat already so the stars and stripes have to stay you

can't you can only add to the flag you can't remove core elements of it or change them like you can't suddenly go to vertical stripes and polka dots. Nobody would know the fuck we are. We already got all that stuff. He would probably be influenced by the current flag. There'd be fewer stripes. Oh, I know. Those stripes are representative of the colonies, though.

I hear you. I don't know. I feel like our flag is hard to recreate. I think the U.S. overall has a really good flag. I found a nice top ten list here of the indisputably most bullshit worst flags of countries. So if your country's on here, I'm sorry. Anybody from Kyrgyzstan? The Union Jack is on here.

It looks like your Xbox red-ringed is what this looks like. This looks like an Xbox logo. Yeah. It looks like they made this after Xbox came out, and they were like, nobody's going to notice. We're Kyrgyzstan. They don't even notice when we don't show up at the UN. When's the last time we went?

Kyrgyzstan looks like a... That's a cool flag, flag actually it just doesn't look a modern flag at all i like indonesia and monaco and poland they all have the same flag yeah that that's lazy that's not good that can't possibly be their flag it's just red white red white in perfect four squares with a black line in the middle see well bhutan had the right idea with something neat, and then they were late for the due date on founding day, and so no one was able to color in the dragon.

It would be much better if they colored in the dragon, wouldn't it? I don't think so. I really wish you guys watched this TED Talk too. You would look at this and say, the dragon is the problem. It is far too detailed. It doesn't work at a distance, et cetera. Oh, we're going and say the dragon is the problem it is far too detailed it doesn't work at a distance etc oh we're gonna recognize the dragon flag hey is that Bhutan or the dragon people of space Bhutan is that Bhutan or the Lannisters or the Targaryens roll down to and look at 80 it's number six it is a uh it is clip art pasted into the middle of blue and red and Haiti, it's number six. It is clipart pasted into the middle

of blue and red, and that's it. This is the worst. My God, how did this get approved? Dude, it's low effort down there. They're an impoverished nation. I don't hate Maldives. Maldives looks like they just couldn't commit, so they stole

someone else's flag, or they made their flag, and they were like, alright, we're ready to be a country, and they're like, you didn So they stole someone else's flag, or they made their flag, and they were like, all right, we're ready to be a country. And they're like, you didn't. That's not our flag, right? You realize that's already Sudan's flag. It's like, oh, my God, are you kidding me? We'll just put it in something red. Belize, number three, is my personal definition of terrible, terrible flag.

It is like a – Come to Belize. It has some tiny words in there. I don't know what language that is i suspect it's latin or something uh translate that it's got to do with an axe and a paddle and then a shield and a boat and a seascape and another that's their house perhaps you make do yeah dude it is it is way too busy oh america got second worst under the shade i flourish they put that there to uh to troll the only countries they know will be looking at this list nobody from belize is googling this i'm guessing that belize is a is a heavily forested

land perhaps people well that guy's just got a baseball. No, that's an oar. That's a paddle. Yeah, he's got an oar. I like to imagine it's a sexual thing. I kind of like the Union Jack, too. I don't know that I agree with aspects of this list. Yeah, I like the Union Jack because each stripe is representative of a different part of the UK. Oh, my God. Is that true?

Yeah. The UK's got some real geography issues. They need to... This is a subset of this this and this is a superset of that if you want a mastery of it but like it would be like i'm sure a venn diagram of bullshit over there some american stuff that's similar right you know when you start talking about the district of columbia washington dc and how there's a mayor of dc like explain that to a foreigner and they're like, but the president's there. Can't he handle that? Well, there's some local shit and it needs to be handled.

We have territories, too. Who owns the Samoan Islands? Isn't that us? Aren't we responsible for them? Samoa for the Samoans. You know the Girl Scouts changed their cookie because it was offensive? Now it's a fat islander cookie. You know they made Scouts changed their cookie because it was offensive? Yeah, now it's a fat Islander cookie. You know they made two new cookies?

I heard about that. We talked about that, didn't we? Oh, did we talk about that? I forgot what they added. They're both s'mores cookies. Yeah, yeah, that's right. They just sort of arrived there differently. My theory is they wanted to make a s'mores cookie and, you know, like,

all right, so we're doing s'mores. Now you guys have to come up with actual cookies that it'll be. And they couldn't pick. So they're like, all right, we'll do two s'mores. I think that's my suspicion on how it went down. Girl Scouts should thank their lucky stars every day that they have the whole, you know, charity angle going for them. Because as I've said before, put those out into the cookie cookie free market and very quickly you will see change in purchasing decisions you will see you know they're all there and they're going to be like oh god damn we stocked a bunch of these cookies it turns out

when you're not being guilted by a nine-year-old at your front door and you have shit to do people prefer oreos and i guarantee if you got a bunch of interracial kids to run around talking about they need books for school and selling Oreos, they'd make a killing. Like they'd destroy the Girl Scouts. Dude, if you're selling double stuff, they're going to quadruple the Girl Scout. If a guy shows up to my door right now with a box of double stuff, I'd be like, is this for charity? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

How much is it? Two for $9? This package is open. You know what? Forget I asked. I'm saving up to join ISIS. What's that? Whatever.

I don't care give me the oreos so i watched uh i watched the thing about uh khabib last night on youtube i got i the uh he's an mma fighter so taylor knows he's uh he's in the same weight class as conor mcgregor and uh during his last fight he's crushing this guy uh michael johnson who's an established good fighter he's crushing this guy uh michael johnson who's an established good fighter he's crushing this guy in an embarrassing way where it's clear to me i think that he's playing with his food and he while he's beating him up he's like you must give up i deserve this you know it's true and the guy and johnson like punches him in the mouth he's like he goes

okay and he fucking elbows him in the face like like in johnson's heads bashed up against the thing the next round he's beating him up on the floor more against the cage and dan white the guy who's like partial owner of the ufc or at least they they i don't know if he is anymore he is a partial owner and he also seems to run it i don't know how much he runs it versus front yeah that's that's a pr thing i think um yeah i'm Dana White I run the UFC is whatever I'm told um yeah yeah but anyway he's talking to that guy out he's beating up his opponent he's like Dana I deserve it you know I deserve the title come on Dana give me that fight like he's just like he's he's and Dana's like win this fight first win this one and he's like I got this one in the bag anytime you want you know like like however you want you know he's got this guy just he's like I got this one in the bag anytime you want you know like like

however you want you know he's got this guy just destroying him well I watched a youtube video about him last night and then I started watching more and so this guy's from a region in the caucuses called Dagestan um and he he was raised in altitude but in a military by his militaristic father uh and trained by his father in martial arts. And the narrator of the video says, hey, whenever you hear that someone was trained by the father, the first thing you want to know is who's their father. What right does he have to be training someone? Well, let me tell you. And he starts breaking it down. He's like, at the age of eight, his father began training freestyle wrestling. And he like becomes part of like the soviet wrestling team or something

but he's also a national sambo champion uh and he's also um what's the other uh and there's another um uh martial art that he's like a badass and there's three it's freestyle wrestling sambo and uh nope um maybe jujitsu uh i don't recall what the third one is i don't think it is jujitsu It's freestyle wrestling, sambo, and... Catch wrestling? Nope. Maybe jiu-jitsu. I don't recall what the third one is. I don't think it is jiu-jitsu, though. But in any case, it was three disciplines that he trained his son at from the age of seven or something

at high altitude the whole time because they live in these fucking mountains. And they're also very um very religious they're they're muslim so no alcohol or drugs his whole life like in this rigid system like just training and wanting to be the champion and they said that there were two real career paths you know you always hear about like um like black scary neighborhoods in the united states like yeah they had two options it was either you know the gun or the basketball or the football or whatever and you know it guys either ended up in a gang or,

you know, elevated themselves and got out with sports or something like that. Well, in Dagestan, it was like either jihad or sports. And so he chose sports, but he put this, he's like, put the, but he's like declared a jihad on the sports. Like's putting all that intensity that guys normally put into cooking up bombs in their basement and stuff. He's putting it into mixed martial arts. To hear him talk about his father is scary. He's like, growing up, you are punished. You deserve it. They know what is best.

They are elder. His father did Sambo freestyle wrestling and i'm not sure what you're looking for he did judo and pancreas that's it i don't yeah it's judo that they mentioned okay yeah um the really fascinating thing they show him at the age of 10 wrestling a bear yeah and of course you know, you know, it's not like a, the bear's not mauling her or anything. It's more of a playful like thing. But just like who here had access to a bear? That's become a big part of the legend.

You know, that he wrestles bears and stuff like that. Dude, and so my numbers might be wrong, but Ireland has something like 5 million people. Is it seven? Okay. And Russia has 120 million people? 150. 150 million people. Is it seven? Okay. And Russia has 120 million people? 150 million people. 70 times more.

So Khabib is like, give me the push. Give me a title shot and I will rip that belt off Connor and I will open your market from those 7 million Irishmen to the 120 million Russians. The country's got the 150 million people but only 85,000 TVs. I don't know

what the deal is. I do know that Russians don't have that much money. There's a lot of broke Russians out there. Yeah, that's what, if I were Connor, if they do fight eventually, I don't know if Dana wants to do that. But if they did, it would be a huge fight, and it's one I really want to see. And it seems to be one that a lot of people want to see. Dana says it's going to be in Russia.

Oh, that's going to be crazy. every a lot of people want to be in russia oh that's gonna be crazy five shit right there rogan was talking about how passionate the russian fans are he says every instagram post that he makes it doesn't matter what it's about it could be about on it or whatever those pills he takes are or it could be about you know like him in a way and for like joe lozon there'll be like 30 guys on there who are like, Khabib, Khabib forever, Khabib forever. They're just blowing up with Khabib. Give Khabib the fight. He's like, I'm not the one who picks the fights.

You can read it, but you don't know that. I don't put a word in for Khabib. Jail fought. Did you watch that, Kyle? I did watch it. I bought Spike just to watch it Ah, cool I saw it on the internet

But I did watch it live I was checking it out and I was Very bummed Alright, so I'm not good enough to know I don't think that I I don't think I could say Definitively that that was a fixed fight.

But I will say that if I were going to fix a fight, that's how I would do it. You don't fix a fight by getting blasted in the face or getting a concussion. Nobody wants that. Anybody who's ever been knocked silly knows. It's a terrible, terrible thing. So they're not going to hit each other like that. And the striking looked lame to me. I saw Tito came out.

He threw a couple of punches. There was a jab, jab, cross, jab, cross, cross. And,

and Chael kind of slips the cross and it makes a little bit of contact, but like something that a professional fighter wouldn't even sneeze at. And then it's to the ground and Chael has, it appears to have a choke, uh, but not really. And then from like half guard, but not really.

And then from like half guard, Tito cranks Chael's head until his forehead did turn purple, but I expect him to deal with that. And Chael taps. And it looked fake to a lot of people on the internet. I will say that for sure. Yeah, the internet seems to think it's fake. I feel like I'm not sure. One thing is chael wasn't

getting choked the rear naked choke you kind of put your elbow under under the guy's chin and you squeeze these two things but it was like on his chin over his mouth kind of so it wasn't cutting off his blood supply having said that tito is a monster and chael might have been looking at a broken jaw or something. He may have decided, because I've tapped to triangles and stuff that weren't in right, but I'm like, if I don't tap this jaw's breaking.

Yeah, you're like, this is more pressure than my jaw's ever had before. I don't know where it breaks. I don't know. Who's ever had their head crushed like this with someone pulling on their ankle and like crushing it like you don't know how much it takes to crush your own jaw like are we there yet to a crank that of your face gets broken i think you should have taken it though like like that's what tito

said he's like he's like going into this he's like if he broke my arm he breaks my arm if he knocks me unconscious i'm gonna crawl if that's what it takes he's like i'm not getting you know i'm finishing this fight and chael um did not come in with that mindset chale has like four more fights on his contract with bellator i want to say five oh i thought it was like a five five okay it could be i thought it was a six fight deal but whatever it's about the same yeah it's a lot of fights and chale says he intends to fight them all yeah yeah that's what i was getting at yeah and wandy's in bellator i want to see him fight vonderlei silver that's the big thing oh he'll get his ass kicked again i think did you see his like uh ufc pick from a couple years ago and his recent pick like just just the musculature

and the uh the definition it's when he got in the ring um i remember like as soon as i saw him get in the ring i was like that's what i would look like after two years of working out that's it right there like like and like eating normal food like like because we're the same height he weighs like 190 pounds like like in great condition and he just had he didn't look like a pro athlete though he just looked like a guy who works out like he kept saying it was dad bod shale you know there's two dad bod sh, and then there's basically clean shale. And we're saying dad bod? I mean, he looked great.

I wish I had that. Yeah, he's 43? Or is it 39? I get mixed up, but 39, 43, both of those numbers are ringing bells. In any case, he's an older guy. You would think he could get on testosterone. 39. Okay.

You would think he could get on testosterone legally if he wanted to. He needs some, it looks like. Well, yeah. Most people can get on testosterone legally but it's illegal in the UFC. But I don't know how much Bellator tests. I do think that there was a...

I remember reading there was a clause in his contract or something. Like, he barely gets paid if he's not clean. He needs to pass those tests. Well, Tito beat him in what looked like a grappling match that lasted all of, like, three minutes. So, huge disappointment yes um i like

chael there's no reason to like chow he's a bad person right chael the american gangster he's a liar he's a cheater he's a fraud he's a felon right you know i like fighters names i like when they're when their names are like fucking stupid or make no sense. He's Chael, the American Gangster Sonnet. You know who has the best name? I don't even know his real name, but his nickname is Bruce Leroy. He's a black guy. It's great.

Anyway, we probably shouldn't talk too much about MMA, but Chael fought third best ratings ever in bellator history and he lost and i was very sad i want to see cody garbrandt fight again yeah it's gonna be a while it feels like all the interesting fighters are not fighting right now um isn't cowboy fighting uh next saturday cowboy ser Yeah, I know he's fighting soon. I think Woodley fights Wonderboy in March. I think he's fighting on the same card as...

The headline for that card is like Shevinka... She's like the number two bantamweight. Maybe fighting Holly Holm? No, that's a whole different thing. When is that happening? The Holly Holm 145 pound fight. Holly Holm isn't fighting a Polish chick though. i know she's not she's fighting a black man

wait what the the woman that hollyholm's fighting is a dark-skinned very ugly person who who could pass for a man if she had short hair um but there's a polish chick named who's like second in the bantamweight division who I thought was fighting somebody this coming week on like Friday or Saturday. Shevchenko or something. It doesn't matter.

The woman I'm talking about is named Jermaine de Rondami. I don't know her that well. I should. Every time I don't know a fighter, I get a lot of feedback on that. What? You don't know the fighter i get a lot of feedback on that what you don't know the second best 140 pound 145 pound girl no god are you even a fan idiot right uh yeah anyway it's always annoying like when you're talking about something to do with sports and you see a comment that's not necessarily wrong like if i see somebody who comments who knows way more about hockey than me,

and they're like, actually, that's not how waivers work, and the Blues cap situation is more like this. If you were a real fan, I'm always okay with it until they do the little, like, you talk as though you know. It's like, well, just because I don't follow all the 16-year-olds that we say, hey, pick him, maybe he'll be good someday. Just because I don't follow that part of the sport doesn't mean I know anything else.

Just like you don't have to know who the best Cambodian kickboxer is to care about UFC. From the outside, listening in, it sounds like you guys know a lot about UFC because I don't know anything

about UFC. I assume Kyle thinks of me as like a hockey grandmaster when i'm really not yeah it i think that everything that i know is just derived from you know television and and the internet it's stuff i've read it's very little that i've like you know i guess that's how everyone's knowledge really is coming from except for the guys who are literally getting in their cars and going across the country and watching these fights and writing on a scratch. But yeah, it's only her second amateur fight, but wow, that speed, that's going to mean something. And her coach is this guy who knows Jimmy Jam, and this is going to be for real in eight years.

Like, oh yeah, she's 12. Yeah, yeah, it's fine, though. If you're doing scouting reports, you're a different level. But I just watch TV, and I remember what I hear and what I see. And most of it makes sense. If it doesn't make sense, I can usually be like, really, Joe? I don't know about that. Sometimes I disagree with him, but most of the time, you know. Ronda Rousey is the once and ever fighter.

I believe that. I didn't know any better. It seemed true when he said it. It seemed true when he said it. It seemed true when he said it. Joe Rogan seems like he knows everything about UFC. Like the Blues game tonight, it's in first period now, so I'm not watching yet, but it's on NBC, and I don't watch games on NBC with any audio. I do other things with my audio because, my God,

whoever they have hired to talk about what's happening in the game, like number one, it's a company based in Chicago so that they always bring it back to the Blackhawks. That's fine. Like it's expected. That's their hometown. They're going to do that.

But they just say things that are wrong. Like they just announced that players who no longer play on the team have just passed the puck. They'll be like, they're Shattenkirk, the blues, the blues defenseman. He's only two. Yeah. They'll be like, there's Shattenkirk, the Blues defenseman. He's only two.

Yeah, they'll be like, he just did this. I just saw someone being like the main announcer is like, Shattenkirk playing great defense, promoting a lot of scoring. You'd know how great this impression was if you knew who I was talking about. Shattenkirk promoting great scoring opportunities here. Only one defenseman with more points than Shattenkirk for St. Louis. That is Robert Bortuzzo, only two more points. And itkirk for st louis that is uh robert bortuzzo only two more points and it's like bortuzzo has six points this season and shattenkirk

has like 32 so i don't know what sheet you're reading from he doesn't even play in a lot of the games because he's not good enough and then he'll say things like you know and david backus the kind of leadership that you need it's like we traded him a season ago he's not on the team he plays for the bruins now like they're playing tonight too it's like someone gave them a player sheet name from like here you go we couldn't find this is the version from 2013 uh most of the players are still there just do your best like same thing happens in mma it like uh skip bayless i don't know what his name is. There's a very big, strong black guy, good looking. He's not opposite Skip Bayless, but I see him talking about MMA all the time.

And it's clear. Oh, and then, of course, there's the guy Skip Bayless. It is opposite him. He's kind of a nerdy black guy. I forget his name. But anyway, none of these people know anything about fighting. Nothing. They don't say things that I can point to.

They speak in generalities. They're like, yeah, you've got to give it all right there. Whenever things are on the line, you've got to dick with that little extra. And there he is, you know, hitting him. Hitting him hard, you can see. Yeah, he hit him real hard there. Did you see that? Yeah, that's a hard hit.

Yes, I've had some hard hits, but that's a hard hit. And you're like, perfect? What kind of punch was it? I don't know there was so many it was a flurry yeah they speak in generalities that they're expert at not getting themselves in trouble but it's also clear that they don't know a fucking thing about the sport you know they talk about how he mixes his muay thai with his dirty boxing like you're not getting that from him. You're not hearing that. Oh, yeah, overhand right followed by that back fist.

Or even things like, this guy's takedown defense. You know, will this guy's takedowns beat that guy's takedown defense? You know, I can't wait to watch this. They don't say that. They're just like, ah, Conor McGregor's shown time and time again how much heart he has. I guess, yeah. They all have a lot of heart i i think it comes up but just like

connor is known for his shit talk about the opponent like if when they ask him stuff like what were you thinking when you were going into that third round like he probably does the same thing all the athletes do where they're like you know i went about their heart i wanted to make sure i my punches were on point I wanted to do this and that. They don't give their little generalities. He said, what's he say? He says, timing beats speed and precision beats power. Yeah, yeah.

So he's got little quotable lines like that. He's pretty good. When he lost to Nate Diaz, he said he wasn't efficient with his energy or something. Does that sound right? Is that what he said? He wasn't efficient with his energy or something. Does that sound right? Is that what he said? He wasn't efficient with his energy? He basically came out too hard. Oh, he hadn't hardened calories like it's one and out of style.

Conor's pretty slow to fight. I rewatched the second fight yesterday, and it was exactly how I remembered it, but I still don't know how Nate recovered from all those leg kicks in the first round. The first round of that fight is Conor putting these awful leg kicks on Nate's lead foot. And to the point where he's hobbled. He's like, he can barely put his weight on it. But he's still pursuing Connor and cutting him off. And it seemed like he knew that Connor can only kick for two rounds.

Connor can only kick for two rounds. He's got a 10-minute timer. He's just watching. He's like, yeah, yeah 10 minutes of this that's all he can do because after two rounds of nate crippling him i thought he couldn't take nate comes out for the third or actually the yeah and he's it seemed like nate just forgot about his leg he was like i didn't hurt anymore and it's like his leg was fine but connor's just gassed from trying to chop down a fucking bamboo tree for two rounds. Yeah, Nate was... So you've heard Styles make fights, right?

And MMA math doesn't work. Nate was like the antidote to Conor. He's really long and he's really tough, right? So Conor has this magic, the touch of death, they call it, in his left hand. He's big. And it somehow doesn't work on Nate. And he had to just fight for five rounds and outpoint him, which is

something Connor doesn't usually do. It was a really super fight. Yeah. I think it all boils down to Nate's skull is bigger than anyone else that Connor fights. Fighting in the end is going to come down to

a math equation, right like how much does His fit how much force is this fist that weighs this much gonna exert on that skull that weighs that much and and what g-forces Are gonna be created when it whips back the other way And I think that Nate's head is just a little bit bigger than everybody else's head that kind of never seen the Simpsons the the Homer Simpson Reference where they find out that he can't believe you guys have seen this is like an old Simpsons, the Homer Simpson reference, where they find out that he... I can't believe you guys haven't seen it. This is like an old Simpsons episode, and it was still funny. They find out

that the area between Homer's brain and his... Or that he had an extra wide barrier between his actual skull and his brain. He had a skull and a small brain, right? It's really padded in there. Basically, that's what it was.

It's so padded that they put him in as a professional wrestler or a professional boxer to win money on him. And it turns out that just nobody on the planet can knock Homer Simpson out because a human body can't get enough force on that cranium to do any damage whatsoever to the brain. That's basically what's happening. Homer Simpson is great. In a lesser sense's happening. Homer Simpson had it great. In a lesser sense, because he's not a

retard like Homer. I watched him skateboard off a cliff and land on his head, and he's fine. Yeah, that's the continuity of the show. My favorite episode is the chili cook-off episode. He goes to... Homer's walking around to test everybody's super spicy chili,

and he's got his own wooden spoon. He's twirling in his fingers, and Lenny goes, they say he made it from a larger spoon. He keeps twirling his spoon. He's testing everybody's stuff. He's like, that's only two alarm. Flanders starts crying. I know, I just wanted to seem like a big man.

And he gets over there to the chief, and the chief has a welding helmet on. He takes the lid off his. And he's got, it's glowing. He's like, these are the caboba peppers. Grown on the Guamada Islands by insane asylum members. They're like striped like a yellow jacket. And as soon as Homer touches it to his tongue, he just like goes crazy and runs away.

And he ends up taking candle wax and putting it in his mouth like swishing it around till his whole mouth is coated and then he goes back to chief wiggum for more and he just eats the peppers he just takes the peppers out of the chili one by one and eats them and then like just walk he's like don't quit your day job chief whatever that is and he walks away and then his stomach goes and then he trips out and starts hallucinating and this weird bit for like two and a half minutes where he's he's like turning into a snake and crawling into another dimension that's a great episode simpsons used to be a really good show yeah it used to be funny do you think simpsons got worse or you just got tired yeah it got worse no it got worse like everybody agrees that i think that like after season eight or nine uh it started going downhill i think seasons two

through eight are supposed to be the golden years uh but but what also happened is like other things came out that were just edgier you know you know that doesn't make simpsons worse it doesn't make simpsons worse but it it changes the the playing. It makes The Simpsons its own thing that's different. But their kind of humor didn't have anywhere else to go. I feel like South Park is always one-upping themselves. Like when I saw Mr. Slave put Paris Hilton's entire body in his ass. Like he sat on her whole body and took it in his ass. To me, South Park lost it.

body and like took it to me south park lost it i was shocked by south park you know years ago when chef was saying things you didn't expect now i'm numb to south park and it's not that south park like if today's episodes came out 10 years ago i think they'd be just as impactful but like south park is just it's run its course for me. And I'm not saying it got worse. It's the same thing for 10 years. I feel that way about a lot of shows. Okay. Wow, has it been 20 years? Wow.

It's been 20 years. Like, after everyone else was saying The Simpsons was bad, I haven't seen it in a while, but say, you know, episode, or season, like, 14 or 15, everyone was like, it lost it. And I'm like, these are just as good as the first ones if not better old school like the first couple seasons sucked you know back when homer was really mean and choked bart too much and stuff like that uh no such thing i like that i thought some of that was funny homer wasn't even funny back in the day he was just like an angry drunk dad you know it wasn't until and when his relationship got better then he got better i finally understood the cape fear episode of uh the simpsons kyle because i watched cape fear

recently at your recommendation when bart is all afraid on the houseboat thing and they're sitting in there just drifting down and bart's trying to fall asleep on the scary boat and the lights off and then just so loudly just burst through the door and you know you see this silhouette running at him screaming going bart do you want a brownie before you go to bed homer's holding this pan of brownies and a giant brandishing a butcher knife and just freaks out i'm sorry buddy were you a little startled yeah like oh it's so funny i have a topic i want to do one more topic before we wrap the show. All right.

Sure, what do we got? So somebody wrote me, but it's a question that normally, like, you'd have to be a Patreon guy to do. But I thought we'd do it on PKN, you know, as sort of a – A loophole. Yeah, right? Anyway. Tom's going to get rid of those. Yeah.

So the core of it is, am I an asshole? So this was one year ago when I was 16. Age of consent is 15 in Sweden. I was dating my then-girlfriend, let's call her Amanda, and we had been dating for eight months. We lost all of our virginities together except kissing, which leads to the incident. When he says he lost all his virginities,

I'm assuming like anal or whatever, whatever. Yeah, the whole list. I felt the relationship was going a bit downhill and I knew it was going to end soon. I took her anal virginity fully knowing that we were going to break up at some point and I did one month later over the phone due

to LDR. LDR? Does that mean anything to you? Long distance relationship. Nailed it. So he took her anal virginity knowing that he was going to break up and he did a month later on the phone uh he also the fact that he convinced her that he would get her a small gift for christmas and then a big one for her birthday instead of two medium-sized gifts of course this was fully knowing that the big one probably wasn't going to happen so is this guy an asshole

uh it actually is a gradient so the the uh the first part uh where they're sexing or they're having sex it's not like i feel like he is in the vision of thinking like oh i am the guy who grandmastered and orchestrated this whole thing and got her to like i think like if she probably wanted to do that too with you like you i really doubt that you were just like over there doing all the like the reason that happened is because she wanted to as well obviously uh the thing that's shitty where you become an asshole is that gift thing where why don't you just say hey i'm gonna buy don't even bring it up just don't just buy the gifts as they come you don't you just say hey i'm gonna buy don't even bring it up just don't just buy the gifts as they come you don't have to like temper it and be like i'm gonna get you a really small one insignificant

but you know a couple months that's when the the train's coming like no that's the the assholey part that is the assholey part i what if she did anal sex because she was doing anything she could to keep him. But she had no reason to think that. It's not as if he... Why would she think that? It's not as if he offered an ultimatum, like either you do this, or it's going to be a...

She's completely in the dark that the relationship isn't working out, and they broke up a month later, but it was a surprise to her. Maybe. You know, from her angle, you know what it could be? It could be she knew it was going to wind down,

and she thought, I think I want to try this. With someone who I know is really not going to get out to anywhere other than this. Yeah, we need a video. Do you have a video of this? Because I need to see exactly what happened from at least two angles. If you can involve a mirror, I really like that.

They're 15, so I don't need the video. It's just, it's silly to pretend. Send the video to Woody, care of Kyle. Just like, just like packages for Taylor. What you want to do first?

Send them to Woody. Okay. He will make sure that it's something good. And then he will forward it on. Yes. He's quality control. I think the guy's an asshole. I think he's an asshole. The gift part, solidifies guy's an asshole i think he's an asshole the gift part solidifies

him as an asshole the sex part i don't think makes him an asshole at all because i'm giving the girl enough credit that she knew what she wanted as well and like women it's not like it's just a constant game where you have to be manipulative and horrible like i don't think this guy was like patrick Bateman tricking this girl. I mean, the trickiest part of what he did was the whole promise of a present that will not come. That's shitty. Like, oh, Christmas is going to be dope. You're going to get a tablet and a laptop.

Or you just wait. At least in his mind, he's an asshole because he did it on purpose. There's that. You may say hey this girl wanted it but he felt like the relationship was going downhill so he's like well i'm gonna get anal out of this and cheap on the gift and then dump her which is exactly what he did he planned that so even if she was pro anal right like in taylor's scenario um he she was yeah i guess yeah look sometimes people do things even though it's not their favorite thing to do right the relationships work out like that

and uh uh they still want to do it you know i mean i eat broccoli but but but in the end i'm not i'm not gonna eat that broccoli and be like know, I felt a little raped by that chef. I didn't really want it. Kyle, finish your anal sex. I didn't really want that broccoli. I just said I wanted it because I wanted to, you know, fit in, and I didn't want to cause a big thing. But I think I better file a police report against that chef because I'm all full of broccoli now. Do you remember we had that make heather

uncomfortable thing and we asked her about anal sex and she was like i don't think anyone likes girls don't like anal sex but sometimes you do that that's her own anecdotal experience like there are plenty of girls who love it i knew a girl who only would have anal sex interesting lots of them orgasm from it even more powerfully and it allows you to do weird stuff to their pussy while you're fucking their ass. You can get all kinds of vibrators and some sort of toy shaped like a palm tree, whatever.

Good point. I don't know somehow. You know those mittens that you can use to reach into an aquarium with both hands? Play with the fish. I have in my head somehow that this girl gave up her anal virginity not unwillingly.

That's not what I'm trying to say. Just in an effort to save the relationship or would have taken it back if she knew that he was going to dump her a few weeks later. Really? I don't know that they hang on to that one. There's no hymen in your asshole, right? I feel like your anal virginity is much less important

than your vagina's virginity. There's actually an anatomical difference between a virgin and a non-virgin. Is that even true? Yeah, there's a hymen. Yeah, but the hymen doesn't necessarily. It's not like it's a seal across the front.

It's a seal inside of the vaginal canal on the way to the cervix, and it's almost, and then it breaks, and there's blood, and it's a seal inside of the vaginal canal on the way to the cervix and it's it's it's almost and then it breaks and there's blood and it's a painful experience and there's a lot so i've done some research on this there's lots of different hymen shapes and that like sealed door aspect i think is very uncommon well i mean i've seen porn where there was hymens like i haven't seen that many but seen, like, three hymens broken, and they all look like that. I don't know. I'm not a hymen expert by any means, but I know that the hymen is a thing that exists only in the vagina and not in the asshole.

There is no one— We'll agree on that. Yeah, and that's what I'm getting at. Making strides. regardless you know maybe you lost that thing horseback riding when you were eight but uh you know nothing happened to your asshole that's any different uh before or after you a little stretching i swear i'm a virgin my parents got me a boy's bike like i i just feel like this girl's not gonna be like two years from now i can't believe i gave my butthole virginity to eric the 15 year old swedish boy like oh like she's just not gonna give a shit yeah it's too easy to do the damsel thing where you're like oh the only reason that she would

have possibly wanted to do that is because i'm so suave it's like no she might have just wanted to do that as well like yeah that's on her bucket list too yeah but yeah you are an asshole for the gift thing i don't even know why you included that. Just don't even mention it. You know why he did it, dude. He just has broken up with her, right? So he bought her the small Christmas gift and he was like, hey, I'm giving you something small, but keep in mind your birthday comes in May and you're getting something big. And he knew May was never coming. So he got off

on a cheapskate gift, probably taking a medium-sized gift from her. That's your only asshole-ish thing. You played some sort of like Secret Santa game with your girlfriend, and you were a douchebag about it. You cheaped out on her. But sort of manipulating, you know, allowing the situation to flow as it will and getting some anal sex at the end doesn't make you an asshole, I don't think. So I'm out-noted two to one. I think he's a double asshole, and you guys think he's a single asshole. Yeah, but only because

of the gift thing. The sexual thing. I don't know. He would know better than us because he fucked the girl, but was it a situation where you were like, come on, let me do it? And she was like, no, never. I never want to do that. And you were like, come on, we're going to be together forever. Let's do this.

Let's say it was hypothetically her vaginal virginity and he knew damn well he was going to break up with her a few weeks later you know should he have taken that you know knowing that he was going to dump her um yeah but but but see that's also that's also a different experience situation because like in in the scenario we're currently in they're having lots of regular sex i presume so it's not like intimacy or sex is is a new thing it's not like we're boldly going where no man has gone before on an intimacy level because i don't think that's what anal sex is i don't think that's bringing us closer that's just a a different kind of sex i don't really

see the big deal about her anal virginity either like like no one's gonna ask or care care. Like I think the next guy around is probably going to be like, oh, good. So we don't have to go through that three-hour thing before we get you ready then. All right, great. I hear where you're coming from. I think that – I don't have to get out my tools. My tools. My tools.

It really comes down to where her mindset is on this thing, right? Because I – dude, I had a girl who thought about giving me her virginity, right? So this is the summer before I dated Jackie. I was dating this other girl, my high school senior girlfriend. And my lifeguard partner – so we're on the lifeguard on the beach. And my partner, who I worked with like a couple times a week, was trying to get me to fuck this girl. She was pretty and she was a virgin. And he was funny.

He was like, dude, you should totally fuck Woody. He'd be so perfect for you. And I'm like, I would be a good pick. And he's like, you guys could meet tonight under this lifeguard boat. It'd be awesome. He'll bring a blanket. And I'm like, no no if that's what you wanted

he said woody's dick is small to medium size at most he'd be a great first choice and i was like yeah yeah i guess so you know i don't know anything that didn't matter i take it and uh at that point in life you're like am i in the door i don't care like whatever yeah and uh and nothing ever happened. Then I probably wouldn't have. But as a bit, I was going along with it. And I think to myself, like, would it have been evil? No.

Well, I mean, because I've had a girlfriend, it would have been. But, like, the idea of a one-night-stand virginity take, not if that's what she was going for. You know? Like, if that's what she wanted and i provided it there is no evil there so i'll argue for some people it's the best way because some people get the thing where they put way too much weight on that and they think it's got to be this earth shattering like my whole life will change and you know if you build it up that much it's just never gonna live up and so i think it might be better for some people to just knock that out of the way and get that experience under your belt and be like, OK, now we can move from here.

Now that we've realized it's just life, there wasn't some rainbow or crazy thing. I think the ideal way is within the context of a loving relationship. Right. It doesn't have to be your last or whatever. Just ideally, it's two people. He'll feel comfortable together in a safe spot with time. And, you know, that's first choice,

in my opinion. But if she was like, you know, wanting to give it a go, then that's great. I suspect she thought that she was,

this guy was more committed to her than he was. By the way, don't send me any pictures of that. I just want to make that clear. I was like, wait, did I literally request child porn? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Take that back. Take that back. Yeah, get your Sweden heathenry out of here. Yeah, yeah, I didn't uh yeah just just to be clear well all right well that guy got his question answered i don't think you're an asshole dude it's it's the fact that you're even concerned about this and you're asking this question means you're you're you're probably not an asshole he is an asshole on the gift thing it's just whether he's a double asshole is what's in contention yeah it seems like you sort of

manipulated the system with that gift thing. And the determining factor on whether you're an asshole with a gift thing or not is did you premeditate this? Did you sit there on Amazon and go, ooh, I could get her this one and then lie about a future gift and I would have to get her that one. Fully knowing

the big one wasn't going to happen. Yeah, that's it. There you happen. Yeah, that's it. There you go. That's the asshole move. Yeah, that's the asshole move. All right. All right. I won't say his username.

Dude, you're an asshole. There you go. Three for three. PKN episode 128. Cock.