Painkiller Already - PKN #131

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

Sorry, we're live. Yeah, they're talking about my voice. I sound terrible, but I feel great, which is the opposite of last week. Last week, I was kind of, I didn't really play it up, but I really felt awful. Some child trespasser. I could tell you felt bad because you never let like illness or something affect, like you really try and get in like go mode for it. And even by the end of it, I could see like your eyes like trailing down like looking at the timer being like oh jesus are we almost there all right like i feel like i've got the shivers but you're in the best mode of sick right now where you sound horrible but you don't feel that bad because you can milk it like if you have someone's like oh i just oh just some more soup

please jackie oh no garbage my blood sugar pull the bag up and wait a little longer i have a Oh, just some more soup, please, Jackie. Oh, the garbage. My blood sugar. Pull the bag up and wait a little longer. I have a paramotor story. I might buy you a pizza box or more. Hope's an adult. Have her take it out. I've got so much to talk about. She's well.

All right, so first of all, paramotor stuff. We went to an airport today to fly around, which was fun. I try to get, like, I like flying from my house. I really do. It's a big deal to me. But there is a little aspect of, like, I've done that before. And because I live on the edge of this, like, if you would look at it as a, like, already used airspace, I can only go in, like, a couple directions. So I went to a different airport and flew from there and uh to get a new thing when we

land the police are waiting for us and like he's coming up he's got the lights going and everything and i'm fully confident i did nothing wrong i don't know everywhere i flew they're there for the night hawk right i knew which one of you is the Nighthawk? So, uh... I'm the Nighthawk! Like, each member steps forward in turn. I think the Nighthawk is sneaking around. They don't have enough swords to take all of our buzzers away.

The cop lands and he's got the lights going and everything. I'm not that nervous, because I know that everything I did was legal. I'm thinking to myself, well, I may have to explain to him what the lights going and everything. And I'm not that nervous because I know that like everything I did was legal. And I'm thinking to myself, well, I may have to explain to him, you know, what the rules are and stuff. But this will work out okay. It turns out that someone had called 911 and said that terrorists were dropping packages in the like nearby fields and stuff. Yeah.

And I was like, I can assure you i didn't drop anything you know like i'm like checking my phone and stuff and he's like no no no no you're the package like they thought that like you know you were on a parachute and people had dropped me and i was with a friend that they they dropped the two of us and that that we were like i don't know some sort of terrorist and uh i thought it was all trumped up in the news about but i'm seeing a couple of them come down right now right right yes sir north carolina so not the one you know we he had a lot of questions about paramotors and stuff you get the the same ones. How high can you go? How fast? How far? And he was a really nice guy.

But that was a first for me. No one had ever accused me of being a terrorist package. Terrorist. It's funny that you thought at first that they were meaning that you were like dropping care packages to, I guess, already established terror sects in North Carolina. But they say, no, you're the package. That's the general floating down to start recruiting, I guess. You know, now that I think about it, I was thinking

the paramotor is kind of a pleasure thing. Like a dirt bike. Not that useful. I just thought, and it's a legal thing, but of an illegal thing you could do with that paramotor because because we were there were people in colorado talking about like the smuggling problem with

people smuggling the weed out of colorado and they're talking about they they've caught they've caught people where they would put it in tins in uh vacuum sealed bags that weigh the correct amount and they're all sealed and packaged and it's like, how? You, you could fly a huge package of marijuana out of that state, land in a designated field out in the middle of nowhere, refuel and just keep hopping. You can't be stopped. It's happening. You are the nightmare.

Rangers come up and they say, hey, we've seen you been dropping packages into Kansas. You can turn around and pull your gun out and go, I am the package. Right there. That I'll describe. So rather than small packages, people are using 300 pounds. Right. So there they have paramotors, but there's tandem paramotors.

So like rather than two people going it's one person and a load and i forget the exact country like somewhere in eastern europe uh the cigarette taxes are so ridiculous that that's what they're smuggling in cigarettes and they just bring like 300 pounds of cigarettes you know tandem paramotor land somewhere else and and it was like a i don't know in the paramotor community i gotta tell you we're all up in arms hey the mexicans up into something to look like a person so they're just looking up oh no that's just right and meanwhile they have like names like bring all right you're all clear for the marlboro man you know it's a straw man like if i'm a farm made out of cigarettes

instead of hay making his approach hasn't hasn't moved in the entire flight. The Mexicans don't have paramotors, do they? Because that would really circumvent Trump's wall. I think they do have them. We have an account for that. We'll need missile batteries. I have another thing.

The Russian thing. You know when we were doing the Red Dawn and you kept trying to come up with ideas to make it useful? Paramotor. It's exactly the same thing with the terrorist thing where it's like if if we saw terrorists coming over on paramotors any fear that any american had of terrorism should be to dissipate we'd be like oh my god they're coming over with fans you're right yeah down into the ocean I can't wait for the next terrorist attack where like 16, 19 paramotors all bounce off the side of the Empire State Building

and they come shooting down like a bottle rocket. Attackers 15 wounded. The 16th fell from it so low even he was unscathed. There was one that went down to the third floor window and was out front you know that'd be great if next time they use that there's another thing um i'm dominating the car but uh hope got her first job just recently she started last weekend uh i helped her put her resume together which i'm good at that. I'm a resume expert. All like my extended family and stuff run them by me. And yeah, she's enjoying it. She works at a, it's a temporary store that

sells prom dresses. So she's, I don't know, like she's a salesman. The people come in, she gets the dresses from the back. She helps them try them on. Apparently, there's details about how a dress is presented. All these straps and things need to be in the right spot. And that's what she does. She sells prom dresses. She's probably like it. It's a really good first job for her. It's just where it should be.

I've been trying to get that job for the last six years running. It's a competitive market. It's a competitive market. I've been volunteering my services for free like you can't get in there it's a competitive changing room attendant they just won't they do not want a grown man doing that job it's sexism it's sexism i'll say it right now mr myers for the final time we don't have someone who stands and watches the girls try the dresses on. I've got a real eye for fashion. That's why I brought my

camera. It says that you lost prevention, but you just seem to want to watch these girls change. Yeah, not many people use Polaroids these days. None of them get it. Unless I'm the one who's supposed to act. You don't even get to try it on.

It's perfect. She has a boss that's not me, you know, and she has like a place she has to get to on time and she'll get an actual paycheck. It's been a long time since I've had like my first paycheck, but it's pretty neat to get like a check from somebody that you have to put in. So she's got all that going. I think she's too busy right now.

She's the lead in the play and she has a job and she's got a a tough school curriculum but the play thing's almost over next weekend i'll see it cards that would fill her spare time right that's what she has spare time yes that's what you want her to get into right before she goes to college ah yes useless habit using textbook money to buy to buy cards and i didn't get a math book this year dad because the release and i needed a box pirate the cards like like i i know if you're i'm not talking about collectors, right? You know, people who really appreciate the value and stuff.

But it seems like you could just have fake cards and everyone plays with that. You could buy... That's what people do. That's what me and my friend used to do when we were younger and we didn't obviously have money to be buying cards all the time. So it was like, alright, before we spend

a hundred bucks on all these cards off the way up this site how about we get little slips of paper and just put them in sleeves with a regular card and then play it and then we can be like oh i thought this was going to be really good it actually sucks so i'll save six bucks but yeah that's definitely the way to do it and uh kyle expedited it by ordering 10 000 uh,000 bulk cards so basically the way it happened 12 12,000 okay is 12,000 bulk cards so like a pre like a collection so they call it and i i got into the skype chat where you were linking that too late where you're like i just got this and i looked at it and i saw immediately and i was like oh i need to tell him not to buy that and then i was like oh that was from like seven hours ago.

He's already bought it for sure. He's already said like, oh, it's on the way. It's just with trading cards. I eventually realized it doesn't make that big a deal for Kyle because he's trying to start a collection, just like have a bunch of cards to pull together and pull from for fun deck making. But buying collections like that, if you don't get a card list, you're almost guaranteed

to get junk rares, which are just rares they can say, you're going to get 200 rares in there. They're 200 shit rares, is what they're going to be. Because there's no reason to not sell a rare individually, if it actually increases the value, unless you get some rube who doesn't know what they're selling, which is possible.

But most of the time, you're just getting a ton of basic land and a ton of useless shit. In the baseball card world, you buy unopened sets. It's not like that. They're opened. You can do that, yeah, but this is a different option. So I'm sure you're also going to... For your first constructed deck, I was telling you to buy singles, which is always the smart move, where you get your whole deck list

and then you go on there, not just the rares, buy all all the commons buy all the lands you need just all at once instead of being like ah i just need three more packs and i'll probably get that last uncommon when it's like no you probably won't and you could spend 19 cents and just buy it right now and save i don't know enough about the game yet and how to construct a deck and how to how to like work different strategies to know which ones I do want. I need to, you know, I've only played like a few dozen hands, I guess. So I just need to play more. I haven't played the white deck at all, really.

So I'm going to have to play a lot before I recognize like strategies. And, you know, if I'm using a, if I'm trying to get a bunch of flying creatures out really early, or if I'm trying to like hook up a lifelink thing that's going to work really well or whatever I'm trying to do, I need to learn that strategy before I start buying cards to make it happen. If you don't mind me asking, how much do you spend on 12,000 cards? $150, I think. Okay, so that's not anything outrageous.

$150. Okay, so that's not anything outrageous. And 7,000 of them are from that storage locker that Kitty got. That's where 7,000 of these cards are coming from. I bought 5,000. Kitty bought 7,000 and we're combining our collections and digging

through them. For all I knew, you were paying like 50 cents a card. This is a big investment. I don't know. See, that's the thing. To really get into this thing is like a pretty modest amount of money. Honestly, I'm hoping that there's going to be 12,000 cards on the floor or whatever it is. Yes, 12,000.

And we're going to pan through them like a river. And 90% is going to be sand. But every now and then it's going to be like, oh, look! One slipped in! And we're going to find one cool thing. I'm hoping for that. And I'm really hoping that her 7,000, because her 7,000 that she bought, she won an auction for an unclaimed storage locker.

So this is someone's 7,000 cards that they collected not just 7,000 bulk cards that have been thrown together and perhaps picked through to make them less valuable. So it possible that like among her 7 000 are like you know maybe i doubt that who knows you don't have any cards there that was a fine way to start it off i have no there's really no reason to not just pull from the cards in that big cheap bucket and see what you like to make and work from there and you have the magic

online not online uh xbox which yeah i'm digging that too yeah it's it's it's almost so dumbed down in some ways that it's aggravating i figured out that you can or i guess either you or chiz might have told me that you can make the deck normally and live like total control over it because at first when you try and make the deck in that game it makes you like pick from a list of cards oh you did that I did that's what I did the first time because I didn't know that there was another option and I was like this is bullshit like this this deck sucks

I didn't even get to pick it out like I just I was just the person that they chose what to pick like I don't know overall it's not as good as the older magic games but they weren't free and this one is free so that's nice but yeah i'm really glad you're into magic kitty's gonna keep you in it guaranteed because another so when you get someone who's kitty's been uh skype messaging me about magic

and saying like oh just i just uh beat coil there or whatever or she'll say like oh i got screwed and didn't get enough mana and coil beat me me. Lucky fuck. Or whatever it would be. But yeah, she's a good resource for you with that. Yeah, hopefully so. She doesn't know a lot of the new stuff. A few of the new mechanics.

But yeah, she definitely knows how to play. It's fun having a third person there to play with. So I think maybe it's fun playing in person. It's more with so i think maybe uh you know it's fun playing in person it's more fun playing in person than playing on xbox for sure i like having the cards i like having the in my hands like the tactile feeling or whatever you call it and then also in xbox it's annoying where i can't tell you how many times i've lost on xbox because i'm like

is that creature blocking me i can't notice the thin blue line that would be there if it was. It's like, well, I assume it's not, and then I hit continue, and it's like, aha, you are blocked. I'm playing on my big TV, and I'm still squinting and trying to figure out what's going on. It seems like it really needs to zoom in better. They need a better mechanism for that. But, yes, it's still fun.

They come on top of each other sometimes, which is hard. You never played Magic at all, did you? It was D&D that you played when you were younger, right? I did play D&D, yeah, yeah. I've only watched Magic. I don't think I've played it. Yeah, I couldn't remember if we played the game. Well, I'm really enjoying it.

I like it a lot. As soon as we get done with this, I'm going back upstairs to mess with my deck a little bit. It's amazing to me how addictive this game is you know kyle's not unique in this they're people play magic and magic takes like they get really into it it's very there's a lot of like basic math uh so there's the there's a lot of basic math involved just multiple um addition and subtraction and multiplication. And there's a lot of... There's so goddamn much strategy. I was...

Like, just from what I've gandered so far is that it's fairly easy to, like, grasp the mechanics of the game and be able to know that you draw seven cards and when you play a card and when you don't play a card and how the... Oh, my card kills yours

and your card survives or whatever and all that stuff but to like build a strategy to like know going in what you're going to play and when and how that's going to build to the midpoint of the game when you set off this big bomb and all of a sudden two creatures become six and then they all get super powered up then they all attack at once and deal an overwhelming amount of damage just in the game. I can't do that. And not effectively, not every time, and certainly not through memory. I have to, like, go through the cards one by one and be like,

well, that kind of lends itself toward A strategy or B strategy, and then I have to do it that way. Whereas a good player, like, knows the names of these cards and how they could be defeated by their opponent who's playing the blue deck or the green deck. Oh, he's playing the blue deck or the green deck. Oh, he's playing a blue deck? Well,

none of this will work then. Let's go to this other thing. That's one of the attributes of a deep and perfect game. The term I heard is it's easy to play, difficult to master. When you get that, you can just get really into something.

And it's the collecting aspect of it, too, because all of a sudden we're collecting these. If you ever take a second to look at the card, it's pretty nice artwork. And there are foil versions of any and every card that exists in Magic, which are just shiny and holographic and really catch the eye and glint on the entire surface. Yeah, and it's like, ooh.

Decks right there. These are the ones I didn't bring because I was like, these are not helpful for teaching people how to play. It'll be upsetting and rude. Those are your douchebag decks. These are the douchebag decks. Yeah, you spent hundreds of dollars making sure you could piss off some people. Yeah, that's what happened there. And that's another

aspect of the game as well is there's like different versions of the game and and we're playing sort of this um uh what do you call it um like it like in racing or whatever when there's no limits to what you can have like um formula one um more like um it's kind of no holds barred i guess is what i'm saying so like any of the unfair or like bullshit cards from any age are allowed to play. And that's what we're doing. Whereas if you were to go to a Friday Night Magic, I think most of the time they play a more restricted bundle of cards. And so the friendly version of Magic that we're playing, this unrestricted version, involves all of these outrageously overpowered cards that are just awful.

It sounds very pay-to-win. They keep it... So in some formats it definitely is pay to win. Like if you do vintage, which is any card from any time is available, you can use cards from like 1994 when the game was new and the cards were way too

powerful. And if you can afford $15,000, $20,000 to put multiple copies of a couple of those in your deck, you're going to do great. But if you can afford $15,000, $20,000 to put multiple copies of a couple of those in your deck, you're going to do great. But you can't bring those cards into, say, a Friday Night Magic tournament for anything other than just a for fun game. You can't put those in your normal deck.

But that's how they rope you in with Standard, which is the main format where they're like, alright, you can only pick from the last three blocks in a set of cards. And so every few months, one of them's rotated out and so they make you basically be like, ah, I got this standard deck and my strategy with red-blue still works, but ah, they're rotating that set

out, so I gotta get more red-blue cards. And then a set down the road, you're like, this whole deck isn't even working anymore and they're changing up the meta, I'm gonna have to switch over entirely! And then you have to make a whole new thing. Like standard, I've tried to keep up with it before and it's not worth it i don't think it's more fun to play modern or legacy which is you get to use a lot of the old cards but it's not vintage where some dude who's you know 52 and has played the game since 1993 and has a lot of money is just like hey i got

four of all these fucking cards in my hundred thousand dollar binder what you can do is like i think a lot of those Friday Night Magic games do a draft game, where you draft from among cards that are just provided there, and they rotate around the room, everyone picking out one card at a time. And that way,

it's no money required, right? Just your entry fee, and you come and sit down with cards that are provided. That's the most fun. Yeah, I would imagine so. Because you basically just sit down in front, and you have a few packs in front of you unopened,

and you open it up, and you pick one, put it face down, and then hand it to the person on your left and the person to your left. Usually it's eight people. When we were doing it, it was fewer. But that's so much fun because it really keeps you on your toes of like, if you get halfway through drafting and you realize none of these strategies are going to work, like you're kind of fucked in a way. Like you really got to enable. And there's also like as you're drafting, you know, you're handing each player the packet of cards and it's being diminished as it rotates each time.

You might quickly notice that, whoa, the whites are disappearing from this deck very quickly. Someone is picking all whites and perhaps there's a strategy that you then need to employ and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I need a lot of blacks in my deck now or a lot of blues in my deck now. So yeah, there's just a lot. There's a ton of strategy in this game,

and I'm really digging that. And amongst it, there's the basic math that can still trip you up a little bit if you don't account for how many steps there are and when to add three damage to damage to a thing uh like like what order to do things i guess you've got to really sit and think for maybe 10 seconds about

all right i want to do this in an x order and all these things need to go off in the right at the right time to be to do the most damage and to protect my creatures the most um it's fun it's like a video game just like a video game yeah and like you know, it has like plateaus where like you're right at first, like you get the turn order down, you understand a lot of it, and you feel like you get a huge amount of it, and then eventually you're going to get to a point, probably pretty soon,

where you're not like trying to fuck your opponent over as much. Well, you're still doing that, but you're also thinking about how you can get them to fuck themselves. Like you'll become familiar with cards and opponent stacks and what they're playing and so you'll know okay they're playing blue white i can tell from what they have on the field right now that means they're going to have a lot of they probably have a cancel in their hand i know they want to cancel one of my creatures so i'm going to play this mid-tier force them to waste it then i'm going to play this other card that benefits from a permanent leading the battlefield or whatever the fuck it would be and so like those

are the most satisfying things where you feel like, aha, I've rused you into wasting your own things, fool. And then you're like, I'm playing a card game against an 11-year-old. You should probably settle down. But yeah, it's a ton of fun. It's so addictive. I was reassured last night

when I don't have my mic set up or anything, but I was playing Xbox and this guy was just trouncing me pretty badly. I don't know what the levels go up to, but was level 40 that's the highest i've seen which means he's won 40 more games than he's lost in a row um and you know i'm a level one or i think i got up to a level three and then there was a a drop back down but like i could hear his voice come through every now and then as i was playing cards it was a grown-ass man and i was so i was like all right this doesn't feel so bad right like if i'd heard he played the phoenix cancel i'd have been like god damn it this is just

humiliating but it was it was a grown-ass man i didn't feel so bad he was over there uh actually contemplating the things i was doing but but yeah fun game both online and even more so in person um i'm starting to understand what those smelly uh crowded rooms at packs were all about now but i i they're all starting to make a little bit more sense not a ton of sense but a little bit more sense a little bit of vapo rub under the nose magic tournament no problem kyle's gonna go in there he's gonna win some card games and steal some girlfriends steal some girlfriend multiple yeah right he's gonna go in there, he's going to win some card games and steal some girlfriends. Steal some girlfriends. Multiple. Yeah, right? He's just going to go out there with one trophy and six girls. I think there's a lot of girls that play Magic.

It seems to be a card game that attracts a lot of women. It's very inclusive, I think, just because it's a lot of fun. Yeah, and a lot of the creatures are women. It's not like because it's a lot of fun yeah and a lot of the creatures are women it's not like a male dominated game although you know so neither is poker i suppose uh there's a lot of women who play poker funny like i every once in a while like you'll see somewhere like magic including more diversity and it's cards or something and it's like i can't imagine any more diversity like there are goblins and ghouls. Werewolves. Everyone's

represented. There are trans creatures that become other things. Are there fairies in the game? Yes. There are fairies. Elves. Name something and magic has a creature of it. Oh, God. Of course there are goblin balloon men.

Half goat, half people. What are they called? Not centaurs. That's the horse. Centaur. Centaurs, minotaurs. All that stuff's probably in there. Human males, human females, human children.

There's black dudes, black chicks. Anything and everything. It's never about... I don't know. It's just such a weird thing to notice in a game where half of it is like, I play my ghoulish devil to attack your, you know, reaver demon. It's like, there aren't any trans demons in this game. It's like, how would you know? Does it have a gender?

It's just a demon. You're like, actually, my demon identifies as a werewolf, just so you know, and so he deals double damage this turn. So he gets that bonus. That's what you should do. There are three werewolves on the board,

so plus one, plus one, plus one for him. It doesn't work that way. But yeah, a fun game, very addictive. Did you watch the Holly Holm fight? I didn't watch it, no. I just read about it. Have you seen the replay? Yes, I've definitely seen the late hits.

I've seen it three times now. I think Durandamy, without the late hits, if we're not talking about point deductions, won by definitely one point. Probably two, though. I think unless you're talking about dinging her for two points it's it's a durand to me when no matter what happens those late hits are bullshit i hate them

that's what you have to so i know that the ones i saw anyway at least the second one maybe both holly looked rocked by those late hits the first one was at the end of the third i want to say or maybe the second whenever it was i think it was at the end of the third, I want to say, or maybe the second. Whenever it was, I think it was at the end of the second. And she got hit on the left side of her face. She was staggered, like her knees were wobbly. And then she had a big mouse right here that might have affected her vision a little bit. Her question mark kick late in the fight was beautiful. She missed on an opportunity where she had Durandamy rocked.

Durandamy actually went to her go ahead the point i wanted to make is like i don't know how strong holly would have been say for rounds three four and five if she didn't get laid hit at the end of the second right because she was on bambi feet right she's bambi on ice and uh um that you know that just means that she may have never just been the best version of her because of a cheap shot she she it was the best version of her for at least rounds one and two though and and you can't take away like it seemed like what was happening is holly was coming in with i don't know a one two one and then a kick or something like that. Lots of combos like that. And the Duran to me is like taking two steps backwards and countering hard with a right. And occasionally it would hit, and occasionally it wouldn't.

It wasn't hitting all the time. But it was making a lot of contact. She was counterpunching really well. Holly's oblique kicks weren't working. I didn't see any amazing Taekwondo. Oh, yeah, well, she's from the same camp as... John Jones. Yeah.

I didn't see the most impressive kicks were not from the Taekwondo champion. They were from Holly, that beautiful question mark kick. And if she had followed up with that left kick and, like, caught her in the nose, you know, this area, it would have been the most spectacular win. It's the flip of the coin 100 it's no longer like hollyholm sad and defeated and perhaps cheated it's hollyholm overcoming the maximum adversity in the most spectacular manner in mma maybe you know that head following that not just a head kick but double kick right the question mark kick which is such a cool technique

cool kick beautiful looks amazing i can't do it i can't do it of course the flexibility alone if you ask me like hey woody i i recognize that you're not a pro but can you show me what a question mark kick looks like i'd say no it looked kind of like this but with the leg it goes up and then whips it yeah so that was beautiful beautiful and if she if she caught with that left i I mean, man, we're talking about a whole different day, you know, the day after. But I think Holly was outclassed at every step of the way. Her clinch work was bad.

She didn't get anything done in the clinch. She had Duran to be on the cage for minutes at a time. Very unproductive. Say what you want about the New York MMA. I don't like it. They don't seem to know what the fuck they're doing. They're judges and they're refs. i would be happy if they just took it out of that sport i won't i won't pay for another pay-per-view in new york i won't do it um just

because of that judging and because of the first one good though i'm trying i don't think there were any problems in the i don't remember well enough like fight on a fight-for-fight basis it didn't i didn't i don't think last time around any of the bigger fights that I cared about were affected by the judging or the reffing. But this time around, I think a lot of people are saying that the Anderson Silva fight was misjudged as well. And there was definitely an eye poke that was ignored

in that fight. Anderson was the aggressor. It was a bad one, and the fighter called it out. And it was the second or third of the fight. So it was second. But anyway, back to Holly Holm. I just think she was outclassed by Durandamy, unfortunately,

and Durandamy didn't seem to be that good. Holly was 10-0 at the point where she defeated Ronda, and now she's lost three in a row, two at Bantam and then one at this 145. There's like six 145 female fighters on the fucking planet that even have any skill, though. That's the problem. Duranda is saying, like, hey, this should be the happiest moment of my life.

It's not. Holly, I'll give you a rematch. And there's two ways to interpret that. One way is, oh, you know, well, how great. She's saying she wants to do this fair and square and give Holly another shot. Another way to interpret it is, oh, my God, Cyborg might beat this steroid thing. She's going to fuck up everybody. To me, she's a dirty fighter.

I want her to fight Cyborg. That should be her punishment. Her punishment is Cyborg. Suddenly Cyborg, who is literally not quite human. She's a little something else. She's pure dude. It is now going to be our instrument of punishment. Yes, yes.

Every May fan is thinking. They're like, oh, there's a white knight over there. It's that man in the dress. Yeah, oh. Fuck, we don't play notes yet. She walks around heavier than I do. Dude, Kyle, everything you're saying is so perfect. I should let you go.

She power cleans 300 plus. Excuse me, not power cleans. She's dead lifting 300 plus for reps. You do that to gain mass. This girl is getting bigger every day. She's getting cleaner and quicker. She's getting bigger and thicker and more powerful she throws these rights that hit women and when they when she when she fought tweet uh

tweets a big girl she's like 37 38 or something but she's very tall and and she's got great kicks and she's she's a talented fighter she broke tweeks no so goddamn bad there was blood anywhere it was this girl cyborg man you know if you've ever seen a bodybuilder woman when they're not in competing mode they look like just pretty women's a little strong but just like really fit normal women cyborg is always in dude mode you see i saw her in a strapless dress like between camps and she's all ripped with deltoids i would kill for and like traps coming off her neck and she just grrrr she is going to be the instrument of justice that takes down the current 145 pound champion she's she's i mean there's no reason she should be fighting in a woman's division here's what's going to happen though

here's my guess i don't i i i don. I don't know that Cyborg is ever going to fight Durandamy. Durandamy, post-fight, immediately post-fight, like in the ring, saying she needs surgery on her fucking hand, right? That's like a year out, right? And when you include a camp and scheduling a fight, she's talking about not fighting

for a fucking year or something like that. Eight, nine months minimum, if it's a ligament in her hand, in her right hand. You can't grapple with a fucking semi-repaired ligament in your right hand. And so, like, where is Cyborg going to be in another year getting into her 30s and getting tested? Cyborg will just be coming off her suspension, I guess. I don't know. People don't know. The rumor is that this steroid mask that she takes

is used to treat one of three things. They found the doctor that said she has all three of them, so therefore it'll be a prescribed, appropriate medication, not a mask for steroids. Her suspension will be very short. Were the things real problems medically? medication not a mask for steroids and her suspension will be very short now they also

things like like real problems medically or was it like restless leg syndrome no they were problems that like perhaps someone on a lifetime of steroids might have like you know like uh yeah her body just doesn't produce this normal level of my bald ache when I pee like clits leaking they're like you know she just doesn't have the right level of estrogen because her body just doesn't for some reason doesn't make hormones like other women's bodies do it's you know you a modern way this is not the first time she's been busted for roids this is the second time she's been busted for roids it's the first time she's been tested out of competition and presto guilty first yeah but buddy that assumes she hasn't learned the lesson i'm sorry

that she hasn't what that she hasn't learned her lesson oh that's a fair point she has learned her lesson it's that paying off the right doctors and lawyers will get you right back into the look deep into that jaw and tell me she's on steroids deep into those those eyes oh there's sunken in chromagdon man face is that a is that a steroids thing where it almost looks like their eyes become like deeper in their head the skull it's uh if i understand right and it's like there's a lot of expertise it takes to understand this shit but human growth hormone can cause your skull to continue to grow and that can be one of the

things eyes look deeper because your skull keeps growing in a weird way that girl never had a small head though let's just be clear like there was never a time where she was a dainty little flower big girl always but but i'd like to see her you know in baseball you see like barry bond's rookie picture pictures yeah he just looks like an athletic college kid oh he was a completely different kind of hitter you know he was a base runner a guy who hit and hit and run like completely different kind of player is what he became late what does 16 year old cyborg look like all I know, she's a dainty, hot little girl in a prom dress or something.

Yeah, and she's turned into someone who beat Joe Lozon in an arm wrestling contest. No, power lifter 2008. There wasn't a women's class so she competed with the men anyway. Little Miss Cauliflower Ear. Yeah.

Little Miss Cauliflower Ear. Fucking slamming kids at eight years old at wrestling camp or something um but yeah my thoughts on that is i i hate those late hits the first one make contact hard contact the kind of contact that you know we talked to joe about what about those little hits what are those like it's like ah it's annoying you're waiting on it you know you're in a fight you know so and so, like, it was a couple of those that she got at the second late hits. But the first one, not only did it make contact,

it hurt her badly, and the Duran to me looks like at her core and sticks her tongue out. Like, hey, hey, hey, hey, got her. Like, she did that twice. She celebrated the late hits. She knew they were late, and she thought it was funny,

or maybe she thought, oops. Wait, I'm misunderstanding. It was this girl who threw those? Not Cyborg. This recent fight was from Durandamy and Holly Holm. They were fighting in the same weight class that this Cyborg monster might be able to slim down to. She's done it before.

Kyle's on fire. She's terrifying. She would beat me to to death and that's not an exaggeration i couldn't outrun her if you put me and her in an open field and you give me a hundred yards um at you know advantage she runs me she catches me and she murders me with her bare hands that's what would happen i would have to hope that she wasn't expecting the eye gouges that's all i could like like she doesn't expect the eye gouges i've got a chance but that's it when i'm out matched right like practicing or sparring or whatever it's a little victory for me if anything that i do like if anything i meant to do actually happens and if i was against her nothing that i aspired to happen would actually go down that's just no no chance because you don't even have like the size advantage or the mass advantage which is

just as important that you would have over like 99.99 of every other woman she weighs as much as you do she she's walking around at 195 yeah she. She, something like that. She's really big, big power lifting, power eating, Pete, uh, performance enhancing drug using professional athlete who's motivated to other women to death.

You know, it's, she, she, she wants that kind of, she wants the money that Rhonda made. I'm sure she, she can see herself up there as like the real fucking deal.

Baddest woman on the planet. You know, she was like bullshit when they were calling Rhonda, the most, deal baddest woman on the planet you know she was like bullshit when they were calling ronda the most the baddest woman on the planet she's like i she knew she could kill ronda i'm sure she knew it like regardless of what joe rogan or anybody else was saying what we were saying who didn't know what we were talking about or whatever yeah it's terrifying woman um but yeah as far as the holly home fight goes if you take those late hits out um clearly it'sand to me win.

But when you include them, I think that it should have been a draw. I think it should have been a draw. And I think they should definitely rematch it. I hope that she's bullshitting about her hand or whatever the fuck she's talking about. Her next fight should be a rematch with Holly in like

six months, four months, five months. I want it soon. Can you do that in UFC? Just be like, oh, I hurt my hand. And then come out and just be like, actually, I lied to my employer. Yeah, they might take your – you know, it's the UFC, though. So they could always like – what do you call it? Your belt. Strip.

Yeah, basically. For all intents and purposes, basically just take your belt away and have somebody else fight. Sometimes the UFC will ask you to see their doctors. I know they did that to RDA when he kind of broke his foot and couldn't fight Conor. They did it to somebody else too. But I've seen at least two instances

where they're like, oh, you hurt? Come see our doctor. We'll see what they have to say. So it'd be hard for a champion like that to just full out lie. But I've never been so frustrated with a fight because I felt like the referee was actively impacting the fight in a number of ways.

Holly wasn't having any success with her clench work and her cage work at all. She really wasn't. It was embarrassing. And she kept going for this high crotch that was fun to watch, I guess. But she was literally not strong enough to

lift Durandamy from the high crotch. And she never went for a double leg or anything like that. I don't know if that's in her repertoire. But she just didn't. Those were the only takedowns she attempted, the way I remember it. I don't think Durandamy really had to shoot very much.

I don't know what Holly's takedown game is like, but that should have been her. If I'm Holly Holmes' coach, we're training takedowns in wrestling. You don't want to fight this taekwondo master, right? And that's what she did. She kickboxed a taekwondo master, and she got counterpunched for five rounds and lost a close match.

Holly is a kickboxing champion. Yeah, but I guess it didn't work out. She was getting walked down. She's on her toes hopping around and giving out her kiaz a split second before she's

throwing her blow. So it's an audible tell every single time she throws a blow durandamy's not even looking at her feet she's listening for the kia and counter punching she she was outplayed by durandamy if durandamy hadn't had those late hits we'd be talking about man holly holmes sucks now that she was a fluke it's oh and three now and durandamy kicked her ass she's she's got some skills but instead it's it was3 now and Durandamy kicked her ass. She's got some skills but instead it was a really close fight that I think should have been a draw with the point deduction. Wow.

And a waste of $60. Oh let me tell you this about Anderson Silva. Anderson Silva came out and he's like 40 or whatever 38, 41. 42 I think. Let me double check. Man, that crowd loves Anderson Silva, man. He's fighting like a 22, 23-year-old,

lightning fast, really strong black guy. I think it was an American. And it was really close. They gave Anderson the fight. But every time Anderson would do a little bit of, what's that martial art that he knows that's like Brazilian or something? It's not j martial art that he knows that's like brazilian or something it's not it's not jiu-jitsu it's like some oh uh carry compa combo yeah he starts

a little combo layer which is like this like i don't know dance fighting or something like it's ridiculous and the crowd was like whoa like the crowd goes wild and and he's like he's doing lots of head work and like like faint faint faint and then comes up with a left leg kick and made the guy look like a fool. There were little glimmers of old Anderson Silva, and everybody was loving that. Then at the end of the fight, he comes out, gets the decision, very close. Some people think it should have went the other way. He's crying.

He's like, I know I'm too old to do this. I know I'm too slow to do this. These fast guys, I can't handle them anymore, even though he just won, right? He's like, yeah, I can't handle these fast young guys anymore. And he's like, but I just love to fight. I do it because I love it, and I love you. And it was the best Anderson Silva's ever looked.

And he's just crying, like, emotionally. It was great. It was the best. Oh, I want to see that. The arm movement for Anderson Silva ever. And, like, to hear him to hear him being like ah he's young fast guys i can't hang with him anymore when he just has beat this fucking like 22 year old yeah he looks like command he looks like that of every human being

you know he's got really dark skin so his muscularity one of those perfect specimens and fast and talented but he had he didn't have much ground game it didn't it didn't seem take downs right too anderson was shooting uh preventing his takedowns constantly he was doing an x he prevented eight by like halfway through the third or something he was at like eight takedown uh defenses anderson did very well to be a fucking 42 year old and to be fighting a young guy like that um i'm glad that he's still fighting. And it's really fun to watch him. I remember when I was a kid, I think I was watching Tommy Morrison fight George Foreman. And George Foreman was old. My parents were rooting for him just because he was old. I thought that was stupid and unfair in like ageist, you know, in like reverse ageist kind of way.

You only like him because he's old what kind of crap is that now i can see how that happens you know sometimes it's like you know what like give it to the old guy it's the end of his run you know you just you want good things for someone who doesn't have the rest of their life in front of them especially athletic life you know yeah because athletic life that's the weird thing about it is like you think about someone like jogger who's like 40 gonna be 45 soon and you're like man he's old as the hills and then you realize like oh no he's he's just 45 and in excellent shape and he has like what a quarter of a billion dollars somewhere in czechoslovakia

right you know like that if czech republic whichever one's still there i don't know but hit so many times probably live until 60 you don't like this one you root for someone who's you know got a somewhat of a disadvantage and you know there's what's that old poem it's like rage rage against the the dying of the night or whatever you've got this guy who's like on the decline and he's just fighting harder to like to climb the same hill and he's still getting to the top it's fun to watch uh yeah i like you like to see an underdog win a suit like like i going into the durandamy uh home fight i was talking to chiz and i was like i'll bet you a booster pack fucking durandamy wins because he was saying home was gonna win booster packs like 100 bucks right no booster packs like four bucks the booster box is like a hundred bucks that's what it that's

yeah yeah i was like i bet you a booster box that that you know durandamy wins he's like oh no i'm not touching that i was like smart smart move but as soon as i saw that late hit i was like fuck this horse shit and i was really on holly holmes side and i was i was just cheering for the whole time and just really upset at the end of that fight. I was like, well, that was fucking horse shit, and I turned it off, and then I watched her post-fight interview. She's crying. She's not crying.

She's very emotional, on the verge of tears, beaten up badly, and she's like, and just summing up how she answered questions, she said that she lost respect for Duran to me. She knew those shots were intentional. She said those were the hardest shots of the fight um she wants a rematch she thinks there should be a rematch she says though she'll take whatever she's given at any weight uh class because she's lost three in a row um you get sad yeah the thing about holly is like you'll never find even five

seconds of interview footage where she isn't someone that you'd be proud to have her as your daughter. She's always well-spoken. She's always polite. She was gracious as a champion. She's gracious as a loser. She's just great. Everyone likes Holly.

She's great. Yeah, I hope she gets back in there and wins. Next event, I think Khabib is fighting. He's fighting Tony Ferguson. Yeah, that's a huge fight. You've got your number one contender and number two contenders fighting each other. That is a huge, huge fight. That might be for an interim belt.

They haven't said that. That's a Woody thing I just said. But the thing is— Well, they're going to have to fight Conor, right? That's at 125? So Conor and Mayweather just agreed to fight terms. It's not signed. It's not verbally, though.

You're right. But if that turns into something, and now Conor's going to take a year to prepare for this boxing match, they could totally either strip his belt or interim these other two. You know what a hilarious group of videos on youtube is floyd mayweather highlights it is so boring he is like if you back up back up yeah run away run away made i get it from like a boxing standpoint but he seems like a bat smoke bomb? Is that legal? He seems like a

You know the term Comedian's comedian He's like a boxer's boxer I feel like other boxers and people who know shit about boxing Watch him with his shoulder up And they're like god damn How did he know to go that quick And dip and dive and dodge or whatever

But to anyone like me who doesn't know anything About boxing or to most people Who have a middling knowledge and dip and dive and dodge or whatever, but to anyone like me who doesn't know anything about boxing or to most people who have a middling knowledge, trying to watch that after being introduced to UFC is like, this is just not exciting. I know nobody's going to get kicked. I know nobody's going to get tackled. UFC just really raised the bar of what's at stake, it feels like.

Well, I guess the same stake of being... Actually, boxing, those guys seem more mentally ill in their 50s than ufc people because they're distributing that beating right we need to wait it's because it's because in the ufc you you get knocked out with one punch usually two punches but but not hundreds ever not hundreds to the face ever but in boxing you can get that you get hit a hundred times more and it's just and it's that cushioned blow that's just putting your your brain against the side of your skull you know you got that thin layer of liquid and then eventually that layer of liquid gets diminished and diminished and diminished the older you get and it's so kyle's right this is an argument that

mma fans make a lot in mma promot. But my counter is, let's wait. Let's see the people who are 30 now who've been doing it for a long time, what they look like at 50. Because I would argue that we don't have enough fighters from the 90s to compare. Boxing is 100 years worth of boxers that we know what they grew up like. I mean, take Abbott, a beacon of health. Right.

Take Abbott. I'm sure there's a boxer you can point to. Chuck Liddell's a little punch drunk, man. He's not that bad. I saw an interview with him recently and they're replaying his last fight when he ate that bullshit punt. He was winning. It's real sad to watch.

Was it Rich Franklin? I don't recall. It's his last fight when he ate that bullshit punt he was winning it's it's real sad to watch rich franklin i don't recall it's his last fight um and and it's him and a guy and he's like well we're gonna play back the footage if that's okay with you he's like oh it doesn't bother me um i think it'll be harder for you to watch than it'll be for me to watch and you know because he's winning winning he's coming in to finish this guy and the guy hits him with a punch that it looks like any of us could have thrown this little just from here you know just kind of and because they're really close they're like in each other's grill and and chuck it chuck hits gets hit right here like right in the middle of his chin kind of kind of a straight punch like it's like that and it like it kind of

makes his head go down instant knockout he falls down and his eyes are like like doing weird shit and there's blood coming out of his mouth, and he is not conscious, eyes wide open, and it's bad. It looks terrible. Was that like what changed him, or was that just the final, like, all right, my career's over? That was the last fight.

He was old, right? What happened to Chuck? Chuck's chin had gone away. Part of Chuck's, like, fighting technique was to fucking run in through your defenses through your counter punches eat two or three Twenty of them if he had to and then just destroy you here is destroy you on here He would fight like this and just throw these like big hooks the defense His defense was a good chin

you gotta shoot right, motherfucker hit it that's all I want somehow it just kind of it diminished in a hurry he went from unbeatable I'm outside my depth, but he went from unbeatable to very beatable

and I want to say he lost 2-1-1 maybe lost 3 or something like that and Dana White was like you gotta retire, you gotta retire want to say he like lost two one one and maybe lost three or something like that and uh dana white was like you got to retire you got to retire and he gave him one he's like one more fight you lose this and you come work for me and do a non-job and that's what happened he lost badly he just has lost that was it 300 did you say like 300 grand a year as like executive like like vice president of operations or some some like silly job and he

only recently like last month lost that job you know they cut him off and yeah why that's a ufc sold to a new group of owners and they didn't like have the same sort of that wasn't listed in the uh the liabilities during sale i suppose there were two oh by the way we got chuck over here he uh he just kind of collects the check. Matt Hughes and Chuck Liddell, both sort of legends that helped grow the UFC. He shows them the fight does this. But they worked at a time when fighters made $150,000 and now it's a $4 billion company.

So they're like, I'll tell you what, we'll pay you $300,000 a year for nothing. You don't do a fucking thing. And when the new company got bought out when the new company bought it they they fired the people who didn't do anything but there's another guy forest griffin do you know this already kyle i don't know what for his situation got the same job right they're like all right forest 300 grand a year or whatever it is and uh he didn't realize it was a fake job that he didn't know so he shows up at work and starts working and uh you know like he doesn't have to it's just who forest is he's calling

meetings coming up with ideas like hey you know how about like i do this and there's an event in england i could go out there i could meet english people you know we'll get it all on video we'll make some promotional shit and forest works 40 hours a week he doesn't have to he just he's like i'm getting a paycheck i guess i should come here and work all the he didn't have a cube at work you know they're like i don't really know what to do with this guy yeah yeah he's like tony soprano when he finds like this is there's an episode of sopranoopranos that's exactly like this. Tony is listed as like a manager or employee in all these union-specific jobs so that he can be a member of the union, a high-ranking member of the union. And he can vote on things. And so like he – but he's getting stressed out at work, and he feels like he's too – no, he's being told that he's too close to the real illegal dirty shit.

He's like, you need to be more hands-off, pie-in pie in the sky kind of guy let these other guys get get their hands dirty so he does it he goes into work as this bullshit manager and they're like this is your office uh guess we'll have to clear some of this away it's just boxes piled up and shit like two weeks working that job he's got eczema scratching himself with like erasers and stuff he's breaking out in hives and stuff that he needs it he needs that that thrill of being out there but yeah he had one of those bullshit forest got to work they didn't even have a cube for him there was like not like they're like oh well we didn't know you were coming they didn't have a computer or anything so they start like getting shit together and they get him a computer they give him a cube and later an office

and like i said he's working all this time and he's doing it. So Chuck Liddell got fired. Matt Hughes got fired. Forrest Griffin, they're like, that actually kind of works here. They kept him. He still has a job. They probably aren't aware that he was part of that other program. They're like, wait a minute. So you're telling me the Iceman character, he makes $300,000 a year here?

This Iceman. Where does the Iceman work? I'd like to stroll on over to Vice President of Operations Iceman and have a... I'd like to go over a few things with him. His work is sloppy. Oh, he doesn't work here. He's in Miami right now

fucking a bunch of whores. That's what he does. He fucks whores, and he pitches energy drinks and lemonade and protein powder. If you want to know more about the whores, check his expense reports. He submits them all. Yes, yes. We pay for those too. Then they're like, oh, this Matt Hughes guy. Where's his office?

Oh, right there. Hi, Matt. We wanted to talk to you a little bit. I see you were fired with the company a long time oh you gotta run very busy oh heading out to do a promotional tour in europe well don't let me slow you down i'm i'm busy firing mr ice man or something have a nice day like that's totally what happened no imagine he's got fired it was forrest griffin uh is the guy that kept the job yeah yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, okay. I misunderstood your story. It makes sense.

Chuck Liddell, Iceman, the same guy. Matt Hughes, they got fired. And Forrest Griffin, who just worked the whole time when he didn't have to, now he still has a job, which is good. I'm surprised all of them didn't do that. Because you would think after how much time they'd put into the organization, they'd want to feel like, you know, I'm still responsible for its growth. I'm not just the beginning guy.

I'm still part of this. That totally makes sense about why Forrest would do it. I bet he loved it. Chuck has done things as far as promotional-wise, but he's certainly not working that 40-hour-a-week job like Forrest apparently was. Kyle said he wasn't, but I was. Yeah, I think Chuck is diminished a lot.

Okay. He could be. He took more punishment than Bucks for sure. If you told me his IQ was 80, I'd say, yeah, it's a good guess. You should watch that video I watched. I watched him and I remember thinking to myself, he's not so punchy. He comes off a lot better than one of the Diaz brothers. That's not a high bar.

It's not a high bar, but you can hop over that. It's still a bar. It's there. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, sure. You got a point. We'll figure out later on. My thought process about this whole concussion thing is

that there are several, about a dozen or so so huge, gigantic, multi-billion dollar corporations that really depend on concussing people to make those many, many billions of dollars every year and sell their merch and everything. From college football up to all the professional sports and all the advertising dollars, we're going to have to get some sort of scientific way to like make brains not get hurt when people get tapped in the head like that's supposed to help with that i've heard that uh pot does a lot to prevent concussions i don't understand the science behind it you're not gonna get in a fight yeah because you just watch tv you're cool with everybody no i was so upset like two minutes ago and now it's like i don't even i don't even remember like why we were mad like why why were we i don't even know like it's like nobody um uh but yeah i i think it was joe rogan who said it and he had something backing him. I don't know.

But, yeah, some people think that pot makes you resistant to that damage and that it's a smart idea to be a pot smoker during your camp. Yeah. He's talked about it helping with cardio before. All I know about that concussion science stuff is that that layer of fluid between the brain and the skull is very important and it's very key to protecting your brain. It's the only protection your brain has. I would imagine

affecting that in some way would be very helpful for preventing... I know that if a part of your brain gets damaged, maybe from punching here, so your skull goes back, your brain hits that spot. Now you're vulnerable to that thing again.

This part is bruised, and it's very slow to heal, and that's a problem for you. Sure, you could have an aneurysm one day maybe. We're not neurologists here, but that's all that you are. That does a lot of important stuff, and if your job is getting that hit all the time it's it's gotta be does it does the whole bit you know it's yeah i've talked about this before and i don't know if i got it out right but when i was a kid it was just before my childhood that we found out the heart is not actually as like It's another organ like the liver and the lungs. It's an important function, but there's no soul in there. You can swap out the heart

and it's the same person. They only figured that out in New Jersey. I think in the Middle Ages, sometime around Archimedes, everybody else figured it out though, right? Because the first heart transplant they had to know, well, turns out he wasn't living in the heart.

There can't be a soul in here. It's too full of blood. I want to say that people were... He must reside somewhere else. I might have my times wrong, but I thought the heart transplants happened in the 50s and 60s. You're right. They weren't living that long. They were living two weeks.

I think the first one was the 40s, 50s and 60s right and they weren't living that long they were living like two weeks i think like the first one was like the 40s like when they first tried it and then like they started doing it like for actual people in like the 50s and 60s but yeah it's not nearly as long ago as you might think yeah so i was born in 73 right so you know make that whatever i'm five six years old or something and and like people alive like lots of people alive during that time were like, Oh yeah, we just figured out, you know, for sure that the heart is just like liver or kidney or whatever else. Whereas people thought heart was your soul,

that it was part of your personality that like I've never heard. Not too long before my day. I've heard that like colloquially, like the heart or whatever. I know they used to believe that people did i don't know when people stopped i'm sure people some people still do like i think it was a spirit it was a thing that the first transplant surgeons had to assure people like oh trust me it's just just a pump you know like the guy's not to wake up and be like the other dude whose heart it is. Oh, okay.

Yeah, that actually like a religious kind of guy might be like, you'll go under and then you'll come back as a different man that you totally better hope has been saved. Like Kyle said, he's like, he's like everyone knew it was the brain since like Archimedes or something. And I'm sure that a lot of people did, but like, like Taylor, there were still people who just needed reassurance. Like really, you can swap hearts. like Archimedes or something and I'm sure that a lot of people did but like like Taylor there were still people who just needed reassurance like really you can swap hearts and they're like it's the same dude yeah so it's interesting to like look through ancient geniuses because

there's a lot of them who like like Newton I think it was Newton who brilliant invented calculus and then believed in alchemy where you you could mix shit together and create gold. And people in ancient Greece, where they figure out water displacement and measuring volume for the first time ever. That silly story of, I guess it was Archimedes, that he sits down in his bath and it overflows. And he's like, oh, Eureka!

And then his housekeeper's like, asshole! You could have done an apple in a cup and saved us a lot of water. I had to haul this all up here this is ancient greece this is and uh that guy or one of those guys believed like like certain mammals could fly when humans weren't looking or something like that that like oh i need to fucking remember which greek guy this was that thought that like animals had almost like a toy story like relationship with us where we like look away from the pigs and they're oh fools they think we're rolling around in our own shit for fun it's all a ruse at their best did they think that or was that a philosopher who like that that's what i mean it was like one dude yeah because we we i

had a philosophy course in college stupid i got a c minus and it didn't transfer but um i uh i had a philosophy course in college and we like talked about that like you know the notion like of certainty and you know for all we know when we're not looking goldfish are flying around and you know like you can't prove they're not srojan srodinger's cat yeah that one you don't know the cat's dead until you open the box. And so you killed it by opening the box. Oh, it's dead. I can smell it. That's great.

There's a dead cat in that box. Somehow that cat exists in both the living and the dead state at the same time. Definitely dead. I mentioned on PKA that I didn't understand how it could be in two states at once. All the messages I got ondit pretty much confirmed that other people don't understand also if i get no one really nailed it on like how they're in both states it's one of those things where like it's mentioned and everybody pretend at it as you know the reference but if someone's like can you explain how that is that like it could exist and

not you have to be like well the thing is this guy was like if there's a dead cat or not a dead cat in this box i couldn't possibly know which way until the box is open it's like okay but that's all he's saying then that's not very profound at all right and of course it's not what he's saying like he's saying that cat exists both living and dead until we observe it's one of those things and i'm like fuck no the cat is obviously either living or dead until we observe. It's one of those things. And I'm like, fuck no. The cat is obviously either living or dead, regardless of whether I observe it. Prove it. Like that's,

that's just fantasy. Like, Oh, in my, in my imagination, out of Dumbledore, a hundred times out of a hundred. No,

like that's my imagination. Like, really? I actually think that do you? I absolutely do. He would, he would it would be a bloodbath did gandalf have comebacks more powerful than ever dumbledore did that didn't he die well you know he died but from the from the afterlife he was just you know he

yeah i guess he did die but but well yeah my thing is the magic involved in each universe, right? Because Gandalf's magic, and you would know better than me because I'm just going off what I saw in the movies. I never saw any very impressive magic to me. It seemed like he matched up very well against the Balrog, but that's only because they're two sides of the same coin, right? Gandalf is very equal to the Balrog. They're both good versus evil kind of way they you know they should match up well whereas i don't know if that fiery whip that gandalf like or excuse me that um gandalf yeah yeah you know that fiery whip thing like he had

magic to like get rid of that and everything but i don't know if he could have stopped a real whip even what i know for sure he was very fortunate that they landed in water. Well, he fell for like a mile. I know, but they landed in water. So one, they're lucky to be alive. Two, this is a fire monster that landed in the water. Seemed like that really worked out well for him. Well, he didn't live though. He did die after he finally killed the

monster, after he smoked his ruin upon the mountainside, as he put it. If we've read the books, we know that he fought that beast from the deepest pit to the highest peak. They fought all the way from that pit down there, swashbuckling and casting magic

all the way to the top of that mountain where he's in the next scene, and they're fighting on top of Carathres. And then he smotes the Balrog down, and it falls. And then Gandalf, because of his wounds, dies. Kyle seems onto something. I don't remember any...

Okay. Your point about the magic was that he doesn't seem to utilize it as much. That's just a different kind of lore with Lord of the Rings versus Harry Potter. not so much a difference in the actual like times they can use magic like harry potter is a story where it's like oh we've come across a a swamp with no bridge uh magicus bridgerous and then there's a fucking

bridge and they walk across it oh my god my meal's cold heat happiness oh uh what was the one where they're like oh we need to unlock this store unlock us or like whatever the fuck it was um openinium or that was better than most of the shit openinium and they do that i'm just kidding i'm just trying to piss off harry potter people now but they do that it's more of like a um uh deus ex machina so to speak. Magic is more powerful is what I'm saying. You can't shit on the writing. What we asked was Dumbledore versus Gandalf,

and in that situation, Dumbledore is the greatest dueling wizard of all time with an unbeatable wizarding wand, and with a thought, he instantly kills Gandalf. With a thought, he kills him, because he doesn't have to speak the spell. He just points a wand and kills him. You can instantly kills Gandalf. With a thought he kills him because he doesn't have to speak the spell. He just points a wand and kills him. You can't kill Gandalf. But his body would die and then he would go away and then God would have

to bring him back again. He wouldn't. He wouldn't die. He is immune to that. Then why was he so afraid at the end of the third movie when the fucking Witch King... On behalf of humanity. No, the Witch King shattered his staff.

He was like, and now you're going to pay. And Mary's like crying because he knows the gig is up. And like Gandalf can't save him from inevitable orc rape anymore. If someone grabs that ring, the Witch King could beat the shit out of Dumbledore and Gandalf at the same time. I'm pretty sure. That guy's hardcore. He can shatter staffs like nobody's business. But if we're talking about staff shattering, Gandalf shatters Saruman the White's staff.

Your staff is broken! Has Dumbledore ever punched someone? Because I've watched Gandalf fight hundreds of orcs in Uruk-hai with a magic sword. He could deflect any fucking magic coming at him with that sword with his staff. And then Gandalf could just go, Alright all right i'm gonna make a big shield it was big enough to stop the giant flaming demon monster that's bigger than any creature in your entire fucking movie series i think it's big enough for this old uh let me jump in for a second taylor i understand your rant and and you're making some good points but it seems like in the Harry Potter world, magic is just so powerful.

You know, it drains Gandalf to make a shield, and then it wears out quickly, and the guy's, like, still coming. It seems like Dumbledore would have just easily defeated the Balrog. He would have, like, he would have Jedi picked him up and threw him in the abyss. In Harry Potter, magic is so rapid fire. There's like a machine gun. He just shot seven laser beams at the guy or lightning bolts or whatever you want to call them. And like snakes would be coming from the ground and lightning from the sky. And there would be a storm and he would be in a sphere of water. A sphere of water in the middle of a tornado.

A sphere of water. It's just like. Bulrog, not a fan of water spheres. You have to play by the same rules because if the magic is like in Lord of the Rings, then Gandalf wins easily because Dumbledore doesn't know how to fight. And if you don't get to use your magic as much as you want, then Gandalf wins for sure.

That's the point of it. This is the thing with Lord of of it. If Dumbledore is in Harry Potter rules, and Gandalf is in Lord of the Rings rules... In that situation, Gandalf still wins both times. Gandalf wins no matter what. Harry Potter fans, tell me how Gandalf doesn't win, because Dumbledore's never thrown

a fucking punch. How many demons has he slain that were actual fights, and not just oh, end us this seen us as cheap as possible and then just kill the guy that's how he handled gandalf so much more hard gandalf has been in actual fights it has dumbledore ever just taken a big punch to the side of the head and had to be like oh good gracious like gets his shit kicked out of him, and he's, oh, fighting fire demons, and he beats huge dragons with basically dark wizards of their own on it,

if we're using the Harry Potter kind of nomenclature. But I just, I have a hard time being convinced, and let me say, this is not at all because I'm wildly biased, and I prefer one. Just say that this is because I'm biased, and you're only looking at one side of the story that's not true, and I won't begin to consider it. I think that not only could Dumbledore kill Gandalf, but I think that maybe any two good Aurors from the witchcraft and wizardry place could take him out as well.

I'd bet you any amount of magic the gathering box. Actually, I would bet everything. This is not a bet that can happen i know let's get the two actors on the line say in uh the first one died but they replaced him it's all you know oh the first dumbledore's dead and that's saruman who died uh christopher lee not gay oh do you want to wrap on a little bit of hockey news it's actually interesting kyle please go on so woody you know all those teams in the north come on in the northeast somewhere uh boston their

biggest rival is montreal right like they hate each other it's been like that for a long time today boston let their coach go and mont Montreal immediately hired him as their head coach. I didn't know. And so it was almost a literal cucking and to make this even funnier, like the rival, like that, this exact same thing happened in 2003 where Claude Julian or Michael

Michel Therrien, the head coach gets fired and then Claude Julien or Michael Michel Therrien, the head coach, gets fired and then Claude Julien replaces him. And the last time it happened was on February 15th. I don't understand who the cuck is in this situation. Therrien, the guy who got fired from the Montreal Canadiens as the head coach and then immediately has his rival coach step in in his spot and oh i thought he got hired at the other spot oh no he's not hired anywhere so wait the boston guy got fired i play this back for me the boston guy got fired and the canadians fired their coach and hired Claude Julien. They hired the Boston guy. I see.

So as soon as they found out the Boston coach was available, they got rid of their own and took him instead. They had already made a decision to get rid of theirs, and then they just grabbed the best coach on the market who just so happened to be their rival team. And I thought it was funny that this exact same thing happened to poor Michel Therrien. He's had his job taken twice.

Same direction. He's had his job taken twice by Claude Julien for the Montreal Canadiens within one day of Valentine's Day. Jesus. Twice. The Flyers have been very hard to follow lately. The Flyers have been. There's just nothing encouraging coming from them.

How are the Penguins doing? Because I remember a few months back, I said that the Penguins and the Blackhawks would be in the Stanley Cup. Is that still shaping up well? The Penguins are still gay. I think the Penguins are going to win it. I think they're going to be the first team to repeat.

Blackhawks lose Game 7, as predicted here, months ago. As predicted here. I thought you said that the Blackfeet were going to win. Blackfeet winning seven games, yes. Against the Penguins. Okay. We'll see. We'll see how that goes.

Penguins are going to have a serious injury. I think the Sharks are going to make it further than the Blackhawks in the Western Conference. I think the Blues probably lose in the first round. I think the Capitals are going to get further than the Penguins. I hope so. God damn, I want to see Ovechkin get a little bit of success. Like you were saying earlier, with rooting for the older guys, like he's only 31, but that's starting to get up there in hockey at least.

And so it's like, God, you really want to see this. This guy's the best goal scorer, the best pure goal scorer in NHL history, arguably, and he's never made it past the second round because Sidney Crosby and the fucking Penguins always meet him in the second round and then eat his lunch, then throw up on his shoes the only guy on his team meanwhile like crosby's got malkin and strong goaltending and yeah yeah last year uh right before the playoffs the capitals traded three players someone to the sharks someone to the blues and someone to the Sharks, someone to the Blues, and someone to the Penguins, I believe. It was not a big guy to the Penguins.

And all three of those players with those teams made it further than the Capitals did last year. So that's a little sad. I want to see the Caps do well. Sorry, Kyle, I can tell I'm losing you, and you've got a burning desire to play some more magic and become the best duelist? Duelsman?

I don't know. He'll be the Dumbledore of Magic. Ah, yes. The Dumbledore of Magic. We've been matching up. It's pretty accurate. Oh! I walked him into that. I'm so sorry. I'm going to be on later if you do want to play.

I've crafted a deck that I actually like this time. That's good. Are you on the Xbox? Both. They should have a way to facilitate real cards. I don't know. I like the idea of each part being scannable

or having a tiny serial number, punching that serial number into your Steam game and boop, now you own that card and game you just put it in like a George Foreman grill and read the card, read the card, read the card I would play Magic the Gathering online tonight if they had that you'd

be scanning cards for six hours motherfucker like that six hours i don't think i'm that quick and you especially with 12 13 000 cards or whatever it is wow well all right um very good pkn episode 131 i had fun