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Oh, that was perfect. That was perfect.
You're really good at this.
I can feel it.
It's all that playing of magic.
You're very into auras and energies.
And I've been watching all these YouTube videos about quantum mechanics,
and I'm starting to wonder if they apply on a macro scale,
and perhaps that I can influence the cards.
Like, is the card there and not there simultaneously?
And through thinking hard enough, maybe I can change what it is that is the card there and not there simultaneously and through thinking hard enough maybe i can i can i can change what it is probably never probably never since probably not
but maybe when you were a kid because i know i did this at least a couple times and i was like
eight nine ten is like i'd watch a movie with someone with telekinesis and i would just kind
of be like see like a little pokemon figurine across the room and be like, maybe, maybe.
And then just.
Oh, my gosh.
No.
One of my great childhood disappointments was figuring out that I had no superpowers.
And I went through the whole litany, you know, like, like, of course, I was too old for Harry Potter.
But, you know, I do the equivalent, like, um, Lengardium Leviosa no okay just hoping you know
just hoping you know try some Jedi shit is that is that Angela Answorth's spell from uh Bedknobs
and Broomsticks I always hated that show I don't know but but why did you just come up with that
magic spell Lengardium Leviosa harry potter okay yeah and uh
but yeah you know like like uh bewitched i was young enough to watch bewitched and just be like
yes okay okay just checking just checking thought maybe it'd work
so yeah my darren that could be my bitch and just do my darrens for me
it was just a real disappointment i tried to fly there was a tv show called greatest american hero
and uh you guys probably don't know it but he found this uh like suit that gave him magic powers
and he tried to fly and basically he tried just by sort of jumping jumping and this little kid
goes no you have to take two or three steps first you know you don't just jump up you sort of run and jump he does that and now he's flying but like out of control and and you know
a terror so i was like all right two or three steps that was the key you know and it didn't fly
so i like went way down the list of superpowers where like it would start with like telekinesis
like sitting at home like okay well
you know what taylor even most of the x-men don't have that one so it's okay pull it back you know
i can't control metal i've already tried and then you go through the list until eventually i'm
standing on my my playground at my grade school and we didn't have mulch in the area it was wood
chips and not the little wood chips they kept they were scimitars, goblin scimitars laying around,
and I tried to throw them at people
because I got all the way down the list to the bullseye ability
of maybe I can throw these goddamn wood chips better than the other kids.
And I couldn't even do that. Couldn't even do that.
But man, that was a huge oversight for grade school
because everything looks like a knife or a sword to a young boy,
and people would get poked and stabbed with these things in little battles all the time and the
teachers never fixed it ever there's you know that's what's wrong with this next generation
they got mulch not big wood chips they never had to fight and defend themselves yeah i definitely
attempted uh telekinesis uh throughout childhood because don't know. I remember I watched this movie called
Powder where this
kid, it's about this
kid. He's like, he's got
no skin.
What is it? Melanin? At all. He's like
completely white. He's bald too,
right? He's bald too, yeah.
And there's something special about him.
I was a child when I watched it
and so I don't really remember.
But I think he had telekinesis or something.
And I remember thinking, like, oh, well, see, that was just a regular fucking guy who was just kind of a freak of nature.
And he was just, you know, he just gained these powers through some natural shit.
And so I just remember being in my bedroom looking at, like, the pull chain on like the fan or whatever and because you know that'd be easy you know just
tink and it'll move and just looking at it just going just really concentrating hard and trying
to just just trying to influence things the tiniest amount and like after like really
concentrating and picturing it i yeah i was like no this shit doesn't work and you start going like
like gritting and just trying to blow on it.
Yeah.
I watched that scene in The Matrix
like 80 times in a row where the kid's
like, there is no spoon.
And the spoon fucking melts like
butter. Yeah, it doesn't work.
I remember that. I tried to like, hmm.
Mom's mad and I can tell.
Maybe I can read minds, right? Maybe it's like a
low-grade kind of, like, you know,
mind reading that I have going on here.
But no, actually,
it's just normal perception.
Reading people's minds is really easy.
They tend to forecast what they're feeling on their face.
If you know
where to look, you know?
I have the ability to read
human emotion.
Right?
Then I'd dial it back to something less
interesting like well maybe i'm uh really good at math right maybe i'm like extraordinarily good at
math because as a young guy i seem to do better than most kids no no just kind of regular and
then uh it's like well maybe i have the magic power of being able to do two things at one time
right like you know tv and radio on listen to both uh stuff like
that right no writing with each i just just like everyone else i text and drive and i'm shittier
at both when i see that i'm fascinated by that level of like by texting and driving you mean
yeah i don't mean for it when i see someone who can literally write two different things
simultaneously with each hand like like, really well.
Like, there was the guy on the Discovery Channel that they show those idiot savants who are, like, incredibly talented in one little area of learning.
But then they, like, have, they're crippled socially or something like that.
Oh, yeah.
This guy is, like, he's, like, writing two completely different things.
He's, like, quoting Shakespeare in Latin with his right hand, and he's writing like a French poem with his left hand.
It's outrageous.
I'll dial it back from there.
I'm impressed when Al Franken draws that map of the country.
Right?
I'm blown away.
That's how you govern right there.
He should just go out there next to Trump like Trump's like this going all blowhard mode and in the background
He's drawing a real big picture the United States
Dude, our next president is gonna-
Everybody else in the government knows when Al Franken goes up there and they're like
Don't you pick up that dry erase don't you pick up that dry erase and then they see him pick up the dry erase and start
Like drawing mane and they're like Jesus fucking Christ
We've seen this so many times Al
Oh my god just pull the string
Stop now I know where you're going with this Jesus fucking I've seen this so many times Al Oh my god just pull the string
Stop now I know where you're going with this
If the United States just pull the string
We have a map we put a map in
So that we can shut you down when you try and do this little drawing thing
Our next president is going to be that PKA fan
Blaze who does the magic
Alright
Jack of hearts
It's not even a card Woody
Jack of spades
Five of spades Jack of spades is a card Jack of spades even a card, Woody! Jack of spades! Which is just as fucked up! Five of spades.
Jack of spades is a card.
Jack of spades is a card.
Yeah, Jack of hearts is a card.
Three for three by my count.
For some reason I had Jack as a suit in my head.
And I ruined it.
That's a double messed up.
Anyway, dude, so Trump!
I watched that show you were talking about with the Savant thing.
I wanted to talk about that for a sec.
That's better. Try better.
There is a... I don't know if it's the same one you're talking about, Kyle the savant thing i wanted to talk about that for a sec because that's better it's probably better there is a i don't know if it's the same one
you're talking about kyle but this is from years ago there was one where it was this guy who could
just like literally a photographic memory of like it was like he could take snapshots of things he
was debilitatingly anti-social he couldn't function in society icelandic in a day it wasn't him he he
was a guy who was he could draw anything from memory they took him in a day? It wasn't him. He was a guy who was – he could draw anything from memory.
They took him in a helicopter, flew him, like, over an area of London or something ridiculous.
And they showed the site from the helicopter where they told him, like, all right, this is where you're going to be drawing from.
And they just had him stay up there for a second.
They took a picture for posterity so they could compare his drawing.
Then they went back and he drew it.
a picture for posterity so they could compare his drawing then they went back and he drew it and it was to the point where like when you'd zoom in on this and this is like multiple city blocks
multiple fucking city blocks and you could zoom in and be like oh he got the right see this is the
only window here that didn't have dressing because the person must have moved out he remembered that
he remembered that these two people had different kinds of flowers and how many of each they had and watching it it was so baffling i was like this is bullshit no way
no way like this is that's literally a superpower like you could sneak that guy into the pentagon
and be like hey jerry just like click your temple or whatever and just get out of here like yeah
i uh i like the guy there was the guy you might have seen that that went and learned icelandic
in like a day um apparently icelandic is the most difficult language to learn.
And when you listen to it, it doesn't seem to flow like most languages do.
I can pick most languages out if I hear them.
I can definitely recognize Spanish and German and French and Russian.
And I'm certainly not going to pick out Mandarin versus Vietnamese necessarily,
but I'll know there's something up there.
But in this instance,
I just couldn't. Oh, I lost my train of thought.
They don't even use the same alphabet,
do they? The Icelandic people?
Yes, exactly. They had like extra
letters and extra
vowel sounds or something like that.
So they flew this guy over there. Again, he was
completely socially crippled. And he goes over there and learns the fucking language in like a day
and and to the point where like the next night after he's arrived there he has to go on national
icelandic television to be interviewed as a genius so they interview him in icelandic you know like
tell us how smart you are and he goes and then he just starts speaking in fluent Icelandic
and explaining to them all the things.
Pardon my Icelandic. I started 18
hours ago. Yeah, that's what it was.
It seems like a scam.
It seems like you just wouldn't be exposed to that many
words in a day.
I don't recall how he was doing it,
but I don't
remember if this was the guy who was doing it this way,
but I've definitely seen a guy who was doing two books simultaneously,
and he's doing some sort of quad-page reading thing.
I feel like that's not a thing.
Yeah, these guys' brains don't work like ours.
I even know it when I was taking Italian in college.
I'm no language genius, but if my teacher, whatever
the fuck her name was, said
something real slow,
like
suitipiano, whatever the fuck,
what is your name? God, I didn't learn much.
If she said it really slow,
teus, yamo?
Como sedice, whatever.
I don't know. And if she said it real slow,
I could be like, okay, so I need to say this first
and then this and then that and then I'm gonna wrap the whole thing up right there but when she
would like do our test our speaking tests she would start talking like she was an upset Italian
mother and I'd be like oh my god like no no no no no no no we practiced this and that sentence
takes 10 times as long to say you say it again you know don't say it 10 times more that fast
like I just don't think you could do it like i there's no way that a super genius who only knew mandarin
could learn english in a day and then hold a cogent conversation with me or either of you
because he just wouldn't have the same exposure to the words like you were saying buddy like he
it wouldn't matter like he would just know the basics like he could say like ah where does the
clown go to the bathroom and ah i love red balloons and things
like that but if you asked him like so how do you feel about iceland's current policy restricting
immigration he's gonna be like ah give me three days i will get back to you like that that's
almost that's unbelievable like it's literally unbelievable there's no way you can learn a
language in one day let me find the video i know there's a clip but there's i just don't believe it it's got to be a scam or maybe he was like
secretly learning it ahead of time yeah yeah i could easily find a guy who pretends not to know
icelandic and then hold a conversation tomorrow like ah ah here's the i was wrong he learned in
a week a week then it Okay, I don't...
Maybe.
Now it's just really impressive, perhaps.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
It went from obvious bullshit to...
I don't know, a week.
I guess if you're really good at it,
I don't know.
Only a fool would believe Icelandic in a day,
but a week.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know.
Maybe they pulled something off.
Dude, I want to talk Trump.
I read
about it every day.
I'll open it this way. I voted
for W the first time,
but I wasn't really
on the W train. I was just like,
I think I like him more than Gore. I don't know.
He had this thing about private schools I thought was really
cool. Then he
lost me and never got me back within like
i don't know four or six weeks i keep wondering like if you guys are gonna have that with trump
at some point like we have been in like nearly 50 days of perpetual self-induced crisis right
every fucking day he ruins it he like we haven't even had a thing yet. We haven't had
any budgets pass. We haven't had any foreign like problems. We just have unforced errors
about five times a week. It's just him splashing around and shit and splattering it all over all
the white suited people who are there to watch the show it's he's just in a big mud pen
just slapping mud pies around and watching the everybody's like everybody's missing everything
because it's like trump like what he does is he'll say something that is wrong but there's some
like there's a tendril of truth in there and then what people will say like the whole uh obama wire
tapped me thing where it's like well not no there's not evidence of that you know what you should have said is that he you know uh
requisitioned visa fafsa whatever the fuck to try and get uh surveillance on the trump you know i
don't think he did that campaign it was uh it was his administration uh or the c the doj under him
and so basically it's basically like Trump saying something that's wrong,
but there is a tendril of truth in there.
And then the other side says, not only is all of that wrong,
but it's 100% based in falsehood.
There's no tendril of truth.
And so then the people on the right more so look at it and say,
and of course you have a confirmation bias,
so you fixate like, ah, of course he said the wrong thing there but you have to look into what
he's implying and then the
people on the left will go well no
it's totally bunk and there's no
truth to it whatsoever and
people are just out of a lock because
more than one thing can be true
he literally said like this guy
is sick you know he was
talking about Obama right
and apparently it came from
a Breitbart report.
And people on the left, I guess like me,
look at Breitbart
and say, you know, if you see something on Breitbart,
you need another source.
You need some sort of confirmation on it.
He disagrees with you so
strongly that he made Bannon
his chief strategist over there.
Right? Because Breitbart literally publishes
bullshit all the time, right?
It has certainly
published a lot of bullshit.
Milo was a senior editor there.
Well, I don't know
what that means, though. I see Breitbart
the same way as Alex Jones, where it's
like even a broken clock is right twice a day.
I agree. And then they will take something
Alex Jones will go somewhere where he thinks he's got something right,
and then he takes it so much further than he needed to go.
Alex Jones with the reptile people and the chemtrails behind the planes
and all that stuff.
Those reptilians might.
It's important that we stay vigilant, okay?
I'm not saying we start testing people's blood spot checks for reptilians i'm just
saying stay vigilant right so every time every time trump goes bonkers again i did watch that
i didn't even like it hilarious dude and i i watched that and i was like my big takeaway from
it was like all right woody this demonstrates the importance of letting people finish their
thoughts and not interrupting all the time.
And there's a balance between never interrupting and never getting your chance to talk.
Yeah, never getting anything out.
Right.
But anyway, that podcast was just ruined by everybody talking on top of each other all night long.
But I keep waiting.
I'm like, oh, I wonder if this is the week where either Kyle, Merker, or both will say,
ah, yeah, he lost me on that one. I don't like oil companies taking bribes or giving bribes i don't like i heard that they weren't gonna make the
keystone pipeline out of american steel i read that too and i was what kind of horseshit is that
the first time i read it i was like well that's bullshit if there's one thing i know for sure
right he flat out said it in his he said it whatever state of the union what i'm pissed at
them most about right now hang on did you look into it are they actually not going to
use the american steel true they're not going to use american steel apparently it qualifies as some
sort of pre-existing project and therefore it doesn't have to use american steel i have hope
look trump's trump's not my guy he's not but it wouldn't be uncharacteristic of Trump to be like, oh, this thing was meant to be included.
We'll get it worked out.
An executive order it or whatever the fuck he has to do.
Like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Now, the way you're describing it, it's not as if Trump said, all right, guys, use whatever kind of steel you want.
It seems like the people making the pipeline were like, actually, the way this paperwork is laid out, we don't have to use American steel. More like the people
that made the rule either
fucked up or were corrupt. One of those two.
Okay, well then I don't
feel like Trump went back on
something. I feel like he put something
together and fell apart. He was incompetent.
Or his administration was incompetent. Call it
as you will. But yeah,
I think it was more of a screw-up than
a Trump deception. i try to be
well i don't like the russian connections though and that's what we should be looking at and not
the stuff that trump tweets because that's subterfuge that's just that's him fucking with us
and distracting us that's that's just this yeah look what i got over here yeah but i don't like
more than anything about and it's not even selectively trump this is the whole republican
party right now is i don't like how they've handled the Obamacare rollback. They've constantly
been saying, oh, we're going to repeal it. And they're like, all right, good. Yeah, get in there
and repeal. Actually, we're going to repeal slash replace. And it's like, okay, well, what's that
mean? Oh, we're actually just going to use kid gloves and shave off the edges of it and basically
leave it intact. And it's like, that's not what you were voted in there to do i that's upsetting me more than anything is how they
have this lot blase whatever you know people will be appeased by just the appearance of us doing a
big change and it's i don't know i that's what's pissing me off more than anything is it feels like
the republicans finally have their whole it's like either party when they every time they're always like man i they're like like drunk people at a bar both
parties like man we were you know i can't step outside man step outside i think that's not fair
you want to know why because republicans i'm sorry democrats made obamacare it happened it's
actually the fucking law and it's been that way for like well mit romney made six years okay fair
enough but you know it's been that way for six years mit romney made it years okay fair enough but you know it's
been that way for six years and then the republicans are like now we're gonna undo obamacare
and they don't get that done i'm just saying that i don't like the fact that there's so much big talk
and then the second they get that power they're like oh and actually uh no no that whole thing
that's a huge deal we're not gonna do to do that. That's Republicans but not Democrats, right?
I mean, now you're getting bogged down in ridiculousness of one detail saying that, oh, Democrats get lots of shit done, Republicans don't.
Like, if that were the case, then why are people afraid of a Republican dynasty here?
I was going to quote Joe Biden and say, you know, you know what?
This is a big fucking deal, right?
Like, they did a thing.
Of course, it wasn't good for them politically.
And two years later
the republicans uh took over the house i think and then a few years after that they took over
the senate the senate yeah yeah politic well in my world i think it's a little more mixed
none of this is relevant the russian stuff is what matters the whole obama administration was
bad for the democrats like people were so not happy with that eight-year period that Donald Trump is the president. The way I look at it on the big sweeping things like Obamacare and immigration
is these are Trump's positions when he goes to the negotiation table with whoever, with the
Democrats, with Congress, with a foreign power. These are his positions when he goes to a
negotiating table. It's not necessarily what we're going to end up with. It's just foreign power. These are his positions when he goes to a negotiating table.
It's not necessarily what we're going to end up with. It's just our goal. It's the direction that he claims that he and we are going to head in. So if it doesn't quite end up the way he wants it to,
but something happens, then I imagine that some sort of compromise has taken place,
and that's about as good as it was going to get what i don't like is when it is when i keep hearing that everyone in his administration
has a russian fucking buddy like every one of them has a russian friend trump has met with the
russians april 27th or something of last year met with a russian ambassador and he lied about it
and and everyone who fucking works for him has a russian like pin pal and and and it's
not it's it's it's it doesn't look good i don't care for that at all i i'm with you on the trump
thing so i just read about that today and i'm still waiting for more sources like i think i
read about it and think progress or something like that it could be fake news yeah i'm like all right
what do you take a breath and well there is well, there is a picture. And apparently, Trump did a speech that was invitation only,
and the Russian ambassador got a front row seat there.
And they've got pictures of it all, you know,
so let's assume that it's not shopped,
that this is a thing that happened.
But I don't know.
Somehow, a Russian ambassador and an invitation-only speech isn't quite the same as personal phone calls.
No, it's not a smoking gun or anything like that.
I just don't like it.
I'm tired of hearing it.
I'm not saying drag him out of there.
I'm saying that we need to keep looking and we need to stop looking at his silliness that he tweets because it's just silly buddy vibe you get from a lot of people on the right now about russia
as a whole where it's like because they're trying to defend trump approval rating they're trying to
also extend that to putin and to russia where it's like no no no like they're like they're not good
like we don't we don't want to be like man man, Russia, like, buddies again. Like, no.
Like, Russia's, they just fucking annexed part of whatever the fuck, Ukraine. Crimea, yeah.
Crimea, yeah.
And, like, they're starting shit.
They're amping up their military.
Like, it's not, they're not our friend.
And I don't like this desperate attempt for people to be like, well, because my enemy dislikes the prospect of this so much, it must mean they're on my side.
Like, no. Like, just because you think they're wrong about a lot much, it must mean they're on my side. Like, no, like, just because you think,
just because you think they're wrong about a lot of stuff
doesn't mean they're wrong about everything.
Like, Russia's not our friend.
I've been on this path a hundred times, right?
And I'll just say it real quick.
You've heard me say, like, oh, I know where you stand
in the Second Amendment.
You probably think this way about abortion.
If you like abortion, you probably feel this way about whatever.
Here's one where it's like, well, I'm Team Red,
so now I love Russia.
Really? You think you should get rid of the First Amendment?
That you kill reporters, you kill political adversaries?
Oh, no, no, fuck all that.
But I'm just pro-Russia because I'm Team Red.
You know, like whatever.
There is something to be said about it.
I think that what those Republicans or those people, whoever,
have that favorable opinion of Putin are looking at is the things that they do like about Russia and how they conduct themselves.
They like their immigration policies.
You know, Vladimir's widely quoted as saying something like, you know, this isn't a country for immigrants.
If they want to go to a country where this is there or that is there, then go to a country where it exists.
This is Russia.
And it's a very, it makes sense.
It's a very nationalistic sort of thing.
So when you look at a guy who's a nationalistic guy who seems to be no nonsense and a strong
leader, there are things about him and the way he runs things that are admirable.
But it's all wrapped in a coating of evil.
You know, he's a real despot robbing his own country of billions of dollars and murdering people.
He's ex-KGB, for whatever that means.
We've all seen the Americans, right?
People saying, oh, he's a strong leader.
It's like, yeah, Stalin was a very strong leader, too.
Stalin was amongst the strongest of leaders.
That doesn't mean that it was good.
Yeah, Hitler, a very, very strong leader. One of his leaders was actually the strongest of leaders. That doesn't mean that it was good. Yeah, Hitler, very, very strong leader.
I wonder which leader was actually the strongest, though.
What modern leader do you think could, in like a three-weight competition,
let's say they're doing bench press, squats, and like the power clean.
First things first, you've got to take all the countries with female leaders,
throw them out.
All the countries with a male leader over 50 – or over – we'll say 55.
Over 55 male leaders out.
So who are the youngest male heads of state in the world?
I can only think of Canada.
He seems pretty young.
Yeah, that guy's got a world-class handshake.
Yeah, he is young, so he'd be up there.
Trump, way too old.
I wasn't going to limit ourselves to necessarily modern leaders.
You know, maybe within...
Oh, Lincoln.
Then Lincoln.
Lincoln was a champion wrestler.
Yeah, but by...
We're talking about the movie.
This is going to hurt him in the bunch press,
being 6'12", or whatever the fuck that is.
6'12"?
Yeah.
And even 7'.
No, not a 6'12", 6'12". Don't exaggerate.
6'12"?
Yeah, I think Lincoln would be
very good in a
mixed martial arts competition.
I think if you take
leaders from the last...
Are we doing three weights or MMA?
In MMA, I like Lincoln too.
I was just commenting on Taylor's pick of Lincoln,
that Lincoln would do fine in a mixed martial arts competition.
If I could change it a little bit,
how does Lincoln versus Putin do in an MMA competition?
It destroys him.
Lincoln beats the ever-living shit out of him
because Lincoln is easily a foot and a half taller than Putin.
And he was a guy who part of his stance was like,
hey, this guy
honest abe we started calling him that and it really stuck well he's just fighting random people
with lincoln nebraska right now like just you want to do it like it's not called lincoln nebraska yet
but it will be and like he just would fight people out there and he got a lot of respect for
trump would never have the balls to fight people in the square. Well, he is 70.
Not on his best day, though.
It wouldn't end well.
Trump is always tough in the
hypothetical sense, not in the actual sense.
We want Genghis Khan tough.
And who knows how tough
he was, actually. When you think about it, was he the one
doing most of the slaying?
He had to be. I imagine him like the
Khal Drogo of his day.
Like, he doesn't...
You don't rise to the level of Genghis Khan
without, like, getting into some fucking sword fights
in front of everybody, right?
Really? Because he's not...
You don't stay alive very long
if you get in lots of sword fights.
Unless you're...
Well, you've got to be the most badass motherfucker
of all time to...
You know, what was that army he had?
Dude, I can hardly name an MMA fighter
outside of Khabib that's undefeated.
And the trouble with sword fights is one loss cuts it off.
Here's the difference, though.
It's easy to find someone who can beat it.
Let's say everybody is from where they're from,
and Khabib lives in Dagestan, and Conor McGregor is in Ireland.
Now it's really fucking hard to find somebody who's such a badass.
You've literally got – if we're here in Texas,
and Tony Ferguson is down here like like like just he he's undefeated 100 and oh you've literally got to
go to ireland to get somebody who can beat him up or you got to go to the mountains of dagestan or
something world class is really just like being all county way back in the day back in the day
it would have meant so much more if you heard that one person if you were a one percent athlete
back in the day when when you couldn't just bust in some competition from out of state
you were serious business right because they there was never anyone who could compete at your level
athletes sucked back in the day think about it the first guy to run a marathon literally died
literally died now people do it for fun like house moms are like you know what i've been
training well i still have a job and two kids at home,
but I've been working on it.
During my swimming career, as things got better, I used to look at
the Guinness Book of World Records and see
what year I could have been a gold medalist.
You know, like,
1896, fuck, I'm the best on the
planet. You know?
Did you go back to times where it was like, ah, 1900?
They skipped it that year because of water
humors.
You know, there's too much poison.
To be fair to the Athenian runner, though,
the reason he died is because he ran flat out
the 23 miles or whatever.
What was his time?
Nike!
Yeah, he gets there and he brings Nike,
which is Greek for victory, to let them know.
Yeah, it has nothing to do with the name of the company.
That's a man named Nike.
But
he's letting them know that they
had won that battle.
The naval battle.
Yeah.
I think of old time.
If Woody goes back in time
as a Greek Olympian,
they'd be like,
that's Matt
Sunspear, Lord of the Sea.
They say that he's spawned from Poseidon himself.
Look at the way he moves.
He knows more than one stroke through the water.
We've only discerned freestyle.
And you'd go in there and start doing butterfly, and they'd be like, oh, my God, this is crazy.
But the same way that Babe Ruth, he's always the example to go back to and people who are baseball fans are always like oh he would actually what you didn't know
is that he'd be better than no no he wouldn't no he fucking wouldn't look at a picture of babe ruth
and then put him next to a picture of uh sammy sosa or mark mcguire or derrick cheater or anyone
and you'll be like oh that's a portly man who probably would be scrubbing urinals in a Derek Jeter.
Unfair comparison.
All right, first of all, all three of those guys are huge juicers, users of HGH.
You look at them now, they still don't look human.
They look like Chris Cyborg.
They're not natural human specimens.
Who's a very good, clean player? natural human specimens. And baseball, somebody like David Ortiz,
in the modern era, a big,
chunky guy who's got
an incredible eye, amazing hand-eye coordination,
and that's all you need.
So I was saying
at the barbershop
that Tom Brady
was the best quarterback ever,
right? And he seems to have the most
Super Bowls, and the fact that he's doing it now he seems to have the most Super Bowls.
And the fact that he's doing it now,
you know, the athletes are so much greater and such.
And is it Bart Starr?
I guess there was a guy who won more Super Bowls than Brady.
Yeah, probably in a time where Super Bowls meant nothing, though.
Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time just because of the statistics.
He just is.
The thing is is he was like
70 years old and i felt like i didn't know enough football to argue like and uh it's tough to
compare between eras because obviously like i could grab the third string wide receiver off
the philadelphia eagles drop them in even like the 70s and I think he's a dominant player. Yeah.
There's a big difference though
in football and baseball
as far as how much better
you are for errors.
Because it's such a contact sport
and tiny fractions of speed
or reaction time means so much
difference. In baseball, you could make
the case that you'll just strike that guy out
80 times out of 100 now.
In football, you might just end that
guy's fucking career and he doesn't get to catch any more
footballs. They move
so fast now and those guys are
so enormous.
The difference is those guys now are
240, 250 pounds
but they're moving so
quickly. They're moving like a 180
pound guy.
Sports that are moving
along in in mma you get a guy from even like six years ago and you're like well he could never
compete with today's athletes dimensional yeah yeah i actually i watched the most recent ufc fight
and as an outsider looking in uh i was i was glad my buddy bought it and the last fight was really
really boring and shitty the one the penultimate fight i guess you'd call it the one right before
that was pretty good with uh the over it must have been yeah that was a pretty good one but uh
the whole like it's funny watching it and not knowing enough to like know the big rivalries
if they are because i assume it's all like the nhl
where they're like wednesday night rivalry carolina hurricanes buffalo sabers it's like what the fuck
like do they of course not like no and then like all it is in the ufc it was like every minute and
a half it'd be like remember three minutes ago when i told you this would be the most intense
fight of the century and then some like star wipe graphic bang
Actually, you were a fucking fool for believing it even for a second because this one coming up next is actually the greatest fight of all time
Pay for the whole see but you'll only need the edge because this you see all these fights. They're all epic
They're also good. At some point I'm like which one like I need one to settle down a bit
Because I need to be brought back up
I need to be brought back up i need to be the cool down fight you need a carolina versus buffalo game so that pittsburgh
and philly matter you know like i like this idea you've come up with a great idea i if i were dana
white at institute immediately so baseball does this like like around the seventh inning uh
stretch and plate times like that when there's like a cool dime cool down time in the game they have like a bunch of like they have a bunch of mascots come out dressed as like
hot dogs and like they literally race the perimeter of the entire field and the whole time they're
tripping and falling and oftentimes you have this really impressive comeback victory because because
people when you fall in a mascot suit sometimes there's like a turtle on its back and like the
leader falls and everybody catches him they should do that in mixed martial arts like like like let's say conor mcgregor just has
fucking lost and and the crowd is just really low right now let's have some midgets come out for a
little little rough and tumble let's get them out there right over the pace a bit you let people
kind of simmer down and then you build back with a real big... Imagine this right now, and I'm not even kidding right now.
Imagine five midgets with headgear and MMA gloves
versus one grown man with one of those batons
with the big poofy ends on the inside.
Like American Gladiator.
He goes...
I would watch that, right?
You know, I feel like if you want to – that sounds like – that's cool.
I can't get over that.
But the thing is, how cool would it be just to grab two people from the fight?
Like Bruce Buffer is out there.
Seats numbers E14 and F92.
Come on down.
And those two guys like nervously nervously like, oh, what?
I was hoping I wouldn't get called.
You know? See, E47
is actually little Susie Q's
11th birthday.
And she was given that seat by her
own father. A big hand for Mr. Q.
You know?
They did something where they got in trouble with mascots
in the NHL recently where, so basically
everybody in the Central Division hates the Chicago Blackhawks
because they're the most successful team in recent years.
So you hate – success breeds animosity.
And the Minnesota Wild, I think it was, got in trouble for having a version
of every single mascot from the Central Division.
So the St. Louis Blues mascot, which is something like Polar Bear thing,
Chicago Blackhawks won, the Minnesota Wild won, the Colorado Avalanche won,
the Nashville Predators won. thing chicago blackhawks won the minnesota wild one the colorado avalanche won the nashville predators won and almost like the way they destroyed that printer in uh office space
they all like assaulted the blackhawks mascot in between periods and just like like the nhl got
pissed at him like he can't be like assaulting one of the other mascots out there like it was
a joke he was on our team he knew about it like yeah but it doesn't breed a lot it's not good for fan bases when they're like oh well let's flip over to this
game i like to the black it is great though they played the music too like yeah yeah it'd be good
if they played them if like if just the blackhawk guy comes out skating by himself and it looks like
he's just out there like and he's like really getting the crowd pumped up and behind him slowly
the other guys are all like lining up with like different implements most of them would have hockey sticks of course but a
couple guys just have like like traffic cones or something you know somebody but and then like i
think the nashville predators uh mascot started like they all walked away and then the predators
mascot turned around like ran back to like hit it again and they had to grab him and like oh yeah
i thought that was funny.
And I don't think you should get rid of stuff like that.
Like you want people like if you saw the Pittsburgh or the Philly mascot
getting assaulted at the Pittsburgh game, you'd be like, ah,
that's a good rivalry.
You know, they wouldn't do that to whoever the hurricanes mascot is.
You know how they have people come out and clean up the ice every so often.
They'll either have to get like hats or,
or maybe
they just pile up of like ice shavings or something carolina was one of the first teams
to use really hot girls and bikinis at that task and uh there was like a big thing i forget what
they were called but it's like oh no they're gonna melt the ice they're so hot like i was a big
concern they do that now at all the games and it's funny because they'll send out like guys and girls yeah with like those shovels to like clear up the ice real quick during commercial
breaks and the guys are all in like windbreaker jackets long sweatpants because you're on a giant
you know 20 ton slab of ice it's very cold and the girls are out there like dressed like they're
about to go swimming and clearly clearly, clearly so cold.
Is there anyone who, like, goes full basketball mode and has their eye scrapers in, like, thongs or anything?
It wasn't thongs, but Carolina had to dial back their uniforms because of the complaints.
Were they, like, gyrating on the shovels?
Dude, the girls, like, I don't know.
Maybe it was the tops, but it was small. Like, the girls. I don't know. Maybe it was the tops,
but it was small. The girls were
so hot
and so...
I was like, I don't know.
I didn't send any
complaints, I assure you, but
I did feel like... If I ran
an organization, it'd be like, alright, let's bring
out the Puck Girls!
And the music would go crazy and the lights would flash. It'd out the puck girls and then like the music would
go crazy and like the lights would flash it'd be just like a strip club when the signature
that's how it felt it felt like i brought my family to the strip club with me oh and uh
there was just a little bit of like huh no tops no tops in my rate again it was just band-aids
band-aids it was one of those i guess're all going to sit here and pretend that this is normal. It's like moments.
Like, yeah, we just won't say anything.
Dude, I have a...
I have a...
Shit.
I don't know if I can tell this story.
I really want to tell it off air, though.
I'll do that.
I'm sorry.
I have a story.
It's about people that are in my life, so I can't...
Ah, those people.
I can't share it.
Coloreds.
No. I can't share it coloreds but
I got
pranked
Mark and Susie colored
I don't know why
Mark and Susie colored
if I could be sure it wouldn't get to them on PKN
I would tell the story
I'm not sure and it would ruin everything
what was the name of that
Dave Chappelle bit?
The niggers.
No, no, no, but how did he spell it?
I'm trying to remember the way he spelled nigger in that one.
N-I-G-G-A-R-S.
Oh my god, that was one of the funnest.
He didn't even dance around it and get cute with it.
He didn't make them Swedish.
Oh, it's Mr. Nigger.
No, he didn't even play it up.
They were just like white American, middle America
family named the niggers.
He just
hit it right on the head. Didn't care.
That was hilarious.
That was a really good one.
So you got pranked?
That's the story I can't tell.
Oh, that's the story.
Shit. Okay.
I wish I could tell everyone, but I won't.
Let's move on to something else
i've been playing a bunch of magic duels you need to get on taylor so that i can test my metal
against you i've been playing a lot uh i i win much more than i lose now it's really hard to
climb the skill level level uh on on on magic duels on the xbox because you start out at level
zero you win a match you go up to level one but if you lose a match you go back down to zero and i routinely face these people who are level 39 or 40 meaning that they've they've
they're winning a lot yeah they're winning almost every single time and i beat those people on a
semi-regular basis but but i'll get up to like a seven and then i'll get whittled on down again i
have a really hard time rising much higher in the ranks.
You said you get to one and then if you lose you go to zero. What happens
if you get to seven and you lose? Do you go to
zero or six? You go to six.
So someone who's at a 40
has played a ton
and they've won much more than they've lost.
That's not necessarily true, right? They could be
like 800 and 760.
Yeah, that would take a long time.
They'd have to lose it in the right order, though.
Yeah.
I mean, have you thought about going to Friday Night Magics at all?
Like going and testing your mettle against actual people with like a draft tournament where you get to make a deck or something?
They're not nearly as weird as you're thinking.
No, I don't think they're weird at all.
I just have no – look, because of where I am –
You used to be a fan.
I did too, and then I went and I'm like,
am I weird?
Maybe.
I'll just let away.
There's definitely people there, okay?
But I'm thinking about getting into the online game, man.
Because here's what I want.
I want ready, instantaneous access to my magic fix, right?
That's why I really like those dual decks,
because I don't have to sit around
for hours combing through
cards and, oh, this one's one mana cheaper.
Oh, yeah, two
and two R's. Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff.
No, that's no fun.
I like that I can just pull out Nisa
versus Ob Nixilis, they're reignited
and you play Nisa and I'll play Ob
and we'll just go and we'll have fun
and we'll play eight games and then we're all spent and we're done. And in the'll have fun, and we'll play eight games, and then we're all spent, and we're done.
And in the same regard,
when I want to play Magic, I don't want to be like,
alright, let me box up my Magic gear,
let me get all my deck boxes,
and my special D20,
and all my checks,
and my pieces, and let me show up
somewhere with a goddamn suitcase full of horse shit,
and play with other people
who are somewhere along the same level
of obsessedness with this.
And I'd have to drive like 20 minutes each way.
Whereas what I could do
is just spend
like $150 on
these online magic cards and have an
online collection and I could play with
anyone in the world anytime.
If that's what you want, then it makes sense for the reason
of that. There's something about playing with physical
cards that I like a lot, and I also
know myself too well. I will never get into
online magic because I will
start building decks for no reason.
You explained it,
that you just like the dual decks because you can just grab
one, hand the other one to someone else, and then
you play right there.
I like spending lots of time
making decks. I love spending lots of time making decks.
I love spending the time tinkering with the decks
and working on the engines and mechanics
and the triggers and the synergies
that you can make flow with one another.
I'm getting much better at that. I feel like my current
decks are really good.
But I just don't have...
But I can do that online.
I can still do that online. And the physical card
doesn't mean anything to me.
I do prefer it if I could... I guess I prefer the physical card,
but just not enough to go through the trouble of making it happen.
I know that I will go to magic events in the future.
Again, when I get back into it
and I find more people to go to Friday Night Magic's with,
whoever wants to, I know I'll do that.
And so I'm not getting into the online one, because I will end
up being like, well, this deck
cost me $800
to build in physically,
but my goodness, if I build it
online, that's a $550
deck right there. Think of the savings.
Think of the savings I would get if I just replicate this
deck online. I would fool
not to do it. It's too good. I don't want
to have it just for my one thing. I need to have it for
online too. Who's going to know I have this deck?
And then I'll end up duplicating
all my decks online and spend lots of money.
See, here's the thing though.
I just feel like
I want to be able to play with you guys
instantaneously.
And I feel like we're going to play.
If the three of us went to an event,
we're going to play together once or twice a year
or something like that.
Maybe three or four times a year
if we get crazy with our magic.
But if you get online,
you can play together every night.
And you can build decks,
and you can play in tournaments,
and do draft events.
I like the Xbox magic
because that has a built-in cap.
It puts a cap on me. Where it it's like even if you go fucking bananas on this Xbox Magic,
you can't spend more than like $300 or whatever because you'll just have bought every card or however much there is.
So I like that a lot.
It's just – yeah, I don't know.
Have you gotten into MTG Go or Magic the Gathering Online at all?
I downloaded it.
into mtg go or magic the gathering online at all i downloaded it i got a sense of how it worked and then i just deleted it um because i i do because i don't have anybody on there to play
with yeah because nobody wants to fucking get on there and uh and it does cost money and i will
need to it doesn't have to cost money you can just play with the free cards but i will want to buy
lots of cards so that i because all the mechanics that i like to do and all the things that i like
the ways i like to play require a good bit of you know rare and how are you matching up verse kitty
you went in most of those battles uh we haven't played in a couple days but but yeah for the most
part like i i usually play like a a red burn deck or something and they but but she gets kind of
shitty her deck's really old i don't know how i don't know what i feel like my deck is probably legal for like modern or something like that and her deck is just outrageous with all
these old timey cards that that probably they're like one mana and everything dies or something
it's it's just frustrating okay oh she was talking to me about magic the other day and she was saying
like coil keeps wanting to play standard and modern and i'm almost positive
he has no idea what modern means and i was like i'll need to ask him because i i feel like you
should know because it's just yeah you know what it is just slightly more expanded yeah yeah well
it's it's just the last few sets well the modern one is the modern one's the one with with more
than this is standard the one that's only like the last three standard is the last three and then you got modern and modern is like
eight or nine and they add another one vintage yeah i feel like she's playing a lot of of stuff
that that we just shouldn't be playing oh if she has old cards then i bet she has a lot of stuff
where she's like i don't play this to destroy all red creatures and it's like that
card says it was printed in 1996 if you tried to play that at a friday night magic they'd be like
fuck you this is totally unfair nobody else has this like she has cards that are color specific
and and make playing against them a nightmare you know because she'll play white and and i'll be
like red red blue or something like that but but, but, but anyway, I think that you,
you should just sell all your,
your real life cards,
those expensive decks.
And then,
you know,
go to the magic online where you can play with them anytime you want at the,
at the click of a button.
You know,
there's no more like getting all,
I'm telling you this ease of access to your hobby will improve it exponentially.
It just will.
Like,
like,
like Woody's, Woody being able to launch out of his backyard makes paramoting so much better This ease of access to your hobby will improve it exponentially. It just will.
Woody being able to launch out of his backyard makes paramoting so much better than when he's got to get up at darkness and drive to Virginia to take off.
I mean, it's a whole different thing,
but he's much more likely to pull the trigger on a,
huh, weather looks good, and take off.
In the same right, you're much more likely to be like,
yeah, I got 20 minutes
for a Magic game, and you just pop, pop, pop,
and you hop online and do it.
Oh, God.
I was about to say, I'll think about it, but if I say I'll think
about it, then it's only a matter of time.
It is only a matter of time. I'm about to do it
myself, because I was looking
today, because my girlfriend likes playing Magic,
and she's been playing duels with me, and we push the controller back and forth, and I said, would you like me to buy you an Xbox? I was looking today because my girlfriend likes playing Magic and she's been playing duels with me and we like push the controller
back and forth and I said would you like me to buy you
an Xbox? I was like because this is a free
game. I don't even think you need gold.
You want me to just get you a $200 Xbox
and you could play against each other
in the same bedroom and then I was
thinking like why don't we just
get Magic Online accounts and I don't have to
buy an Xbox that's only
to be used for like one
game for magic it's literally a magic box you know it seems like we could just use our laptops
or one of the many computers that are here that's definitely a smarter move than buying a magic
specific xbox but right i'll think about it because i'm sure it would be fun and i i'm sure if i
really really try i could exercise the self-control to maybe build one really good deck.
If history tells us anything, it's that you have magic control.
I think we should establish a level that we each spend on it.
And that way it's an appropriate level, and that way we're on the same playing field.
Because if I go and spend $200 and you're spending $80, it's very unfair for me to stack my deck against yours.
So we should both spend $100.
And then that way we have comparable decks.
And then it would be a group decision whether we spent more money.
And we would keep each other in check.
Okay.
Well, as long as we do that and I don't show up one evening and then you play a brand new card and you go,
Oh, I didn't Skype you and let you know.
I upped it to 300.
And I'll be like, goddammit,
you son of a bitch, because now
I gotta up it to 300.
You need a quorum
of two, at least,
to decide
to raise the budget.
There'd have to be a budget vote.
Well, if we could get Chiz to join us, we'd have
a council.
Absolutely join us. council of magic.
We'd have
quarterly budget meetings.
If there's a wizard hat in it for him, he'll
lead this thing and keep it organized.
Oh, yeah. Just tell him there's any hat.
He's clearly not that picky
about it.
Any hat will it Anything but
Maga and he'll wear it
What's Maga?
Make America great again
Have you guys seen
This men going their own way thing
That MGTOW
I've heard of that
Or I feel like I've read it on Twitter and stuff
I don't know 100%
What's going on
There's this movement, and
it's basically guys deciding
that they don't need to be married.
And it's interesting, because
I guess at the
core of it is this.
In the dating scene, it's women
who are the gatekeepers, right?
To sex. And therefore, that gives
them a lot of value without having to earn
very much.
But in the like marriage relationship scene yeah yeah it's usually the guys who are the gatekeepers to like a marriage contract they're the ones who are you know taking their
time on deciding this stuff and there's a lot of them that are just like you know what never's good
that's actually a really good move on the guy's side. This is a terrible contract that all these people are signing.
I don't agree, but I hear what they're saying.
And maybe you do.
And I feel like there's a partnership there that can be a win-win if you're lucky.
Oh, it absolutely can.
But that can be true of any poorly written contract.
You can have a bad contract that works out well because your partner doesn't take advantage of you. You're like, hey, this contract has been fine the whole time. My
partner has never done anything I don't like. And I'm like, well, that's not a good basis to decide
whether a contract is good or not. That's a good counter argument, actually. We need to get a
lawyer to take a look at this, and I don't think he'll be on your side. Yeah, I hear what you're
saying. Let's reword this whole thing. I don't think he'll be on your side. Yeah, I hear what you're saying.
Let's reword this whole thing. I don't know.
I might be a little men's rights-ish sometimes in my heart.
What I don't like about, I'm going to call them MGTO because I don't know how you pronounce
MGTOW, but they seem mean about it.
Instead of saying, you know what?
It just doesn't seem like a smart idea for me because if this doesn't work out, I lose rights to my kids.
I lose my money. I'm ruined financially and emotionally. It's just devastating.
And like this thing's really all about you. Why would I sign it?
Instead, they're like, ah, no, you were a total cum dumpster for the last seven years you have no value whatsoever and you
know now you're just trying to get someone to you know take you the used
wreckage of your puss and pay for it for the rest of their lives and it's like
oh that seems mean-spirited that's a really aggressive way to say 20 joint
they immediately raised him to silver member.
No, I'm not making this up. Dude, I could show
you videos and you'd say, oh yeah,
Woody just slightly misquoted that guy.
You know?
What's the big forum? What's the big website?
MGTOW.com
It's like saying, what's the big forum for
feminism? If you search for MGTOW
on YouTube, you'll find a
community growing over there. The Red Pill, I think. mig tal on youtube you'll find a like a a community growing
over there um the red pill i think but oh on reddit there's a you know mgtow subreddit
and that makes it i got not subbed to anything but it makes it to the front page sometimes
and uh i don't know like the movement's caught my in the same way that i don't like people who you know they, they're girls, but they feel like they should have been boys.
Like, I feel like that's a mental illness, but I don't want to be mean about it.
You know, they're suffering, right?
That's how I feel about this MGTOW thing.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, there's definitely a space for guys who say, you know what?
Never doing that.
Like,
I just don't see how this is a win win for me.
I just don't like that.
They're so mean about it.
I feel like the rest of my team is dicks.
Like if you,
if you,
the way you described it makes them sound very unpleasant.
If there,
it's not enough to just say like,
Oh no,
no thanks.
I got other stuff to worry about.
It's like,
no.
And here's a litany of reasons
Why even if I were interested you wouldn't be up to snuff or like whatever the fuck it is. So yeah, like yeah
Oh, I don't want to sound like a dick but it's like this it almost
These are always oversimplified
But that kind of behavior seems like what a group of people
Guys do when they're not getting laid and so they're so desperate to take the pussy off the pedestal
Then they've repet a stylized it in a different way where they're like, oh, I'm not gonna be your bitch anymore
Give me that
It's almost Alex Jones-y.
You know, Joe, I respect you more than anything, but you're completely blind to the chemtrails.
So I have a better example.
Just put the pedestal to the pedestal and they kind of just fuck themselves.
There's a YouTuber named Emily Hart, right?
Emily Hart.
She's like 32, but she's aged super well.
She's really pretty and she's funny.
I like her.
I watch her videos.
And, you know, I wouldn't be shocked if she did like a Jenna Marbles-like career in there and exploded at some point.
But she made a video called Why I'm Single and I watched it. And I guess because of that, I got all these
response videos to it. Like, oh, Woody likes videos about why Emily Hart's single. Here's
all these responses. And at one point she was like, you know, like I dated this guy for two
years. It was wonderful. I was so in love he was so fantastic but you know he just
wasn't looking for a long-term commitment or more accurately not a long-term commitment with me
and uh and then she goes on to say that because she's felt something so great she doesn't want
to settle for less well the migtow guy responds and he's like oh it sounds like you were dating way above your own level and this
guy was willing to abuse you as a cum toy but not make any commitment to you so he tossed you on the
side when he asked for uh commitment wait is this a guy is this like a group group think leader in
this movement or is this just some dude on the internet? It was a YouTube channel and the thing got over,
it got six digits in views.
You know, that's as much as I know.
And I'm just like, man, like these things in my mind hurt so much.
Because he's, he might be mean-spiritedly right-ish. You know what i'm saying like like i i love emily hart
she seems great not that i've ever met her or talked to her but um when he says like this guy
was willing to date you but not marry you and he was maybe maybe you were like fighting above your
weight class there it's like oh yeah so that is the meanest possible way to say that like that's
a totally wrong way to respond to it.
I haven't seen the video, but it's like, why would he just jump to the, you're just a slut kind of thing, where it's like, well, from what you're relaying to me that she said, it seems like she wanted this to evolve into the next step, and it was just a barricade.
And so it wasn't like it was her ditching out.
It was like, all right, well, I guess I got to find a new avenue because my needs are not going to be met here.
You know?
Right, right.
Yeah.
But then, you know.
People seem angry.
Oh, they're so.
That's the problem with the whole MGTO thing, in my opinion.
It's okay to decide you don't want kids, right? There are some couples who decide they never want children
because they feel like, let's just focus on our own
happiness all life and that seems better to me.
Now you're missing out on some of the joys of raising kids
or whatever, but if that's not your cup of tea,
knock yourself out.
And then a level further than that, there are guys
who say, you know what, I don't even want a partner.
I would just go solo on this thing and pick up new partners as it as it's very like interesting belief set or you're
calling it like a movement but like is it a movement is it a set of beliefs is it like we
all like we're a migtao people but we also are very pro israel or whatever the fuck i don't know
i'm just trying to really focus on the not marriage thing or i'm very anti-israel. Or whatever the fuck. I think it really focuses on the not-marriage thing.
Or I'm very anti-Israel.
They need to go their own way.
Or shit they would say.
Is that what it is?
It always seems weird if it is just about
hey, we're a group of people who just want to go our own way.
And it's like, alright, well that's such a
banal, stupid thing to rally
around a stupid hill
to gather your troops on that like what else could
just then just go do it like it's like if you had a woodworking group in addition to that like they
all required you to be catholic like it's like no we just design wood stuff here like we don't
need to go any deeper like we all just agree that we're not you know going down that route
commitment and that's it you know now i'm off to the hockey forum and you're
all working and you're like i decided to see like what the top uh posts on the the micto
okay subreddit were for like the last month and these are a couple of them
well this one you linked is is it actually a good argument if women get paid less than men
for comparable work why don't corporations hire only women? Because they would if they could.
Exactly. Dude, I've
made that argument too. As a guy who's hired people,
I would have an all-girl staff
if they were actually 30% cheaper.
All businesses would, because businesses are just
about making money, not about
being some nefarious
as if Pepsi's ever sitting
there like, what can we do today?
Rubbing their hands together. No.
They just want to make soda as cheap as possible.
This is funny.
But yeah, men going their own way.
Good point.
Terrible culture around it.
It's just brutal to me.
I don't know. I hate it when
the rest of my team
is people I never associate
with.
These guys are just nasty and horrible
and they agree with me.
Darn it!
It's got to be like going to
a Flyers game. If you're like,
yeah, go Flyers! And then someone's in a fight three a flyers game if you're like woohoo yeah go flyers and then
someone's in a fight three seats next to you and you're like no no no this reflects badly on me
i'm in this group yeah with regards to the flyers i i'm totally on that what i saw recently
there was some crowd problem i think it was a hockey game but i'm not sure but like they beat
up the opposing team or didn't like didn't, so they were really just unpleasant to people who didn't share their pro
home team philosophy.
And I was like,
yeah,
it was a Flyers fan.
Fist pump,
baby.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know if that was hockey.
I feel like I'd know if that was recent.
Shucks.
I should have found it.
I should have saved it.
Anyway,
this,
this MIG tap thing,
like even reading these posts, it's kind of making me
sad
because it's a very
clearly frustrated
and aggressive
kind of feeling you're getting here
like the you know what do women want
with fucking Don Draper
who cares drinking his scotch
I don't know you did enough to fucking join a forum about it it's like me thinks dot that i'll protest too much if that
makes sense i don't know like and like that's the thing like there's a good point there about like
the wage gap but you don't need to like like you can just explain the wage gap in like two sentences
you don't need to like join a whole movement around it.
I don't know.
I bet I'm just judging this too harshly.
I'll show you the video and see if it keeps your attention or if it loses you.
Yeah, I don't know. The MGTO thing, it's been on my mind a little bit lately,
and they're terrible people with maybe a good point.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm'm not gonna join this no it was already decided i'm going me going my own way
it's a private subreddit and i'm the only one me and posts and comments to myself like some
insane person you can make it public and be the mod,
and if anyone says anything, delete it.
Yes, if anybody tries to join, blocked.
No, this is me going my own way.
You go your own way.
Make your own forum.
This is me going my own way.
Woody, did you see the Saturday Night Live bit
where they did Jeff Sessions as Forrest Gump?
Yes, it was very good was so good i love that
what movie was the black lady at the end from she's like you don't know me i'm from a different
movie yeah yeah i hadn't seen that movie but apparently in that movie she shits in a pie
and bakes it for someone that they don't like in the movie like the bad guy so that was a shit pie
that was the gag. Because I had
to ask somebody. I was like, so who is she
and what's with the pies? Oh, that's a
shit pie.
I thought that was fucking excellent.
You would be found out immediately. Here,
take this pie.
Maybe if she added enough sugar to the shit pie
it would be okay. You'd need some
Febreze in there too or something.
No, there's not. Try a bite. Try a bite. No or something like no no no no i'm on a diet you
know that bad but but yeah i thought that was one of the best bits they've done in a long time and
what's her name who who also does um kellyanne conway is really fucking good she's it was really
funny she's sitting there as jeff session she She's like, this is my friend Kelly.
She ain't got no legs.
And they show the picture of Kelly on her knees on the couch.
I hated that outrage over her sitting comfortably. Like, dude, oh my god, blue team.
Like, stick to things that matter.
Would you?
You know, like, don't fucking complain about a mother
of four who sat uh comfortably on a couch oh and by the way if you see the pictures around it
she was taking a picture of a bunch of people and that's why she was in kind of a yeah a weird
non-traditional position yeah she's like i gotta like i gotta get on the couch. I got to get down low or whatever. And even if she was just sitting knees on the couch, dude.
She won that couch.
She won that couch fair and square.
She can shit on that couch if she wants to.
I was going to say she probably works 12, 14 hours a day, right?
I'm sure.
That's her couch.
I sat on the table at Cisco sometimes.
You know what?
Fucking everyone else left for the day.
I get to do whatever I want.
Like since like 1880 when Queen Victoria or whatever gave that presidential desk to the United States.
Like you can see Obama with his foot up there on the phone.
You can see Eisenhower with his foot up there on the phone.
They all put their foot on the desk because it's just.
Yeah.
The point is you're disrespecting it.
Then it's like that's silly because every president
puts their foot on a desk because it's just a fucking desk it's just it's just furniture settle
down yeah obama like in his first day of on that's on of his election or like the day after that this
is of his presidency i mean um he took his jacket off like his suit jacket off and the republicans
went bonkers over like how informally was and how he disrespected the Oval Office by not wearing his jacket.
It was on Fox News and all over the internet, and it was a big deal.
And it was stupid.
Totally stupid.
Obviously, every president works without their suit jacket.
And it's equally stupid for Conway on her knees.
Yeah.
It's just people getting mad at nonsense.
Yeah. yeah it's just people getting mad at not at nonsense yeah like and all that does like nobody
ever sees like no no conservative or liberal ever looked at the other side of that argument and been
like wow you know what they've got a lot of other things right too all they do is go no and then
what about this because it happens everywhere and then they go well that is certainly a thing but
what about this and then they go down some other thing and like i don't know it's just silly i'm
not perfect but i try to like put myself on the other team and be like how would you respond to
this if it was michelle obama on her knees i think it was pretty fucking crass when senators made like
on their knees jokes about her and stuff like blowjob references and uh you know so when it's
my guys doing it it's like guys fucking guys, fucking straighten up, dicks.
Well, I saw them going after Sleepy Black Doctor last night because apparently he said something about, maybe he described slaves coming into the United States as a form of immigration.
Hardworking immigrants with a dream.
I watched that clip, and, like, there's, God, there's nothing more annoying than people intentionally misunderstanding things so that they can do some faux outrage.
Because I watched the clip, and I don't think he should be in politics, you know, really as much.
Like, I think he should stick to neurosurgeoning, because he seems to have really fucking excelled in that area of life.
Better than anyone in human history borderline like i would but i did watch the clip and it's like that's like this isn't if anything he was
saying like you know oh even these people like forcibly immigrated here obviously forcibly they
are fucking slaves but even they had hopes and dreams for their kids and i watched like the
whole clip and it's like all right this is clearly a guy just trying to you know give a an uplifting
kind of message in his sleepy black doctor kind of way.
I don't know.
It really rubs me the wrong way when people pick on poor old Dr. Ben Carson that much.
Because it's like, dude, this guy has done stuff that it's not like other presidents could do it.
Like, you know, we've had presidents who were excellent businessmen before, you know, not for a long, long time.
But we've had that.
So Trump isn't the first, like, super good businessman in office office really like um reagan wasn't the first really good orator
like none nobody in politics ever could just walk into ben carson's job and be like all right what
are we doing today what are we doing today oh fuck that's a lot of blood oh oh oh that's a
that's a great like i don't know it's just and of course that's totally uh non-sequitur
because it's like you shouldn't be able to critique this guy because he's a brain surgeon
like that's obviously silly but at the same time it's like dude this guy's clearly
he's well-meaning he's a very bright guy in his own right and it just feels shitty to pick on him
by intentionally misunderstanding what he said my frustration is this there are a lot of things about the current administration where it's
appropriate to dial it up to 11.
You know that this Russian influence thing seems like there's going to be
something there.
This,
and I don't like the way Trump lies constantly,
right?
I,
you should be able to trust your president at least a little,
but for him to watch Breitbart and act as if it's truth or something,
it really tells me that he could be
making a lot of decisions on some really shitty
information because his bullshit filter
is ineffective. But
don't dial it up to 11
every time Ben Carson misspeaks
or Kellyanne Conway
missits.
Focus on it. Keep your eye on the ball,
Blue Team. All it does is take people who are
not already dyed in the wool on that side, because stories like that are ripping on ben carson for example
or that are ripping on some obscure democrat like no democrat or republican is looking at that and
being like oh man like they really nailed ben carson to the wall i'm gonna have to reevaluate
everything i believe all it does is be like oh this just demonstrates more media bias and people
on the left do the same thing you know if some random
Democrat is like hey that guy isn't a fucking picture with Putin
They're like ah pish posh who fucking cares like that's that doesn't matter what we're talking about this like like no
Everybody's on their own
Everybody's talking past each other. Do you guys have another we won't stop any times, but you already called it
Rap that's about good very good
No, I've got my thing all right PK and 134