Painkiller Already - PKN #136

Episode Date: March 31, 2017

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, that was it, actually. Yeah, it was pretty good. PKN, episode 136. Kyle. I like how you don't yell. What? Is something wrong? You were temporarily frozen for me, but not anymore, it seems.
Starting point is 00:00:13 I was saying I like how Kyle doesn't yell live anymore. It's just now. But anyway, Kyle, you were talking about the Senate thing right before we got here. Yeah, I was watching the Senate confirmation hearings for the Trump Supreme Court Justice nominee. I'm really impressed with that guy hearing him speak. He seems like a really intelligent guy, and I think I caught it at a good time to watch it today because I got to see the end of Ted Cruz talking to him, and Ted Cruz is really buttering him up and kissing his ass, and they're like, shit. He's like, you know, some people around here would have you think that this organization that me and you are part of is some sort of secret organization.
Starting point is 00:00:49 But a lot of us are part of it. It's a real cool gang, right? Right, pal? And he's like, yeah, we're all friends here. And then Al Franken comes on. And Al Franken is like stacking his papers in front of him. And he's not holding up a bit. Al Franken is one of the best like examiners in the senate
Starting point is 00:01:05 right now he's being real nasty and uh and he really doesn't seem to have much of a leg to stand on apparently um he made an ass out of jeff sessions is who he made an ass out of and that's why i haven't looked today but apparently he was getting roasted on twitter um franken was because franken is a funny thing he's a comedian with no experience or background in law. And he was questioning Gorsuch from a law perspective. Like, do you understand this?
Starting point is 00:01:34 You say it because you actually listened. Yeah, what he was saying, what Franken was asking Gorsuch however you pronounce the gentleman's name. He was asking him there was this decision that was reached, I think, when he was on the 10th district court or something like that, that had to do with a truck driver who felt he was wrongfully fired.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And the particulars of it really aren't that important. But Franken was saying, hey, there's this thing in law that says that you look at precedent first and that's your guiding thing unless it ends up in an absurd outcome and there's a name for that when when whenever there's an absurd outcome that might be reached you know you look at other things and and gorse which is like yeah but not when blah blah blah legalese thing precedent i got a he mentions like this like legal law that's bait that's like named after a man's name and franken is like the whatchamacallit yeah the whatchamacallit that's what we use and and franken gets out this like pamphlet that's like law for dummies and he's
Starting point is 00:02:42 like well this was published by the notre dame like law you know professionals of the world and i'm thinking like this is the guy that that that like teaches law and is up to be the supreme court justice he probably knows more about the law than al franken yeah al franken made himself look like a bit of a dummy but uh in that regard i thought he was he was being really harsh about some stuff that didn't matter, but this is really boring in any case. I didn't see that. I guess I've been reading a bunch of stuff that's been singing his praises as an examiner, and the fact that he fucked up sessions and made him look like a traitor
Starting point is 00:03:16 has sort of put a feather in his cap. Maybe he overstepped his bounds today. It's hard to go up against whatever the guy's name is, Gorbachev or something. I like that guy. I think I've watched him speak for a while. He's only 49. Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. He's very intelligent.
Starting point is 00:03:37 And I thought that he handled that questioning masterfully. Nobody seems to hate him either. Like 10 years ago when he was up for the 10th circuit court or whatever, not a single Republican or a single Democrat spoke out against him. Franken kept trying to paint him as, you know, a conservative and he's going back 20 years or something. No, he's going back about 10 or so years or something like that. But but but he kept gorsevich kept saying he's like sir 97 of my decisions on the 10th court were unanimous that meant that the liberal judge next to me agreed 97 of the time with what i did and he and frank is like no no no no um um uh what was his name previous rights previous said
Starting point is 00:04:21 this about you and he's like i'm myince Priebus doesn't speak for me. Like, I don't know what Reince Priebus said. I put myself in the Republican shoes and ask, like, how would I respond to this? Right. So as a Democrat, this Gorsevich seems good. Right. Everyone seems to like this pick. You know, Trump is up there crowing,
Starting point is 00:04:46 what do you think of this pick? Isn't it great? He doesn't seem like the guy that you go nuclear over, right? You know, because he's mostly agreeable. But the thing is, his situation is fucking very worthy of going nuclear over.
Starting point is 00:05:00 One, Scalia died when Obama had 17 months left in office. Merrick Garland should be the next Supreme Court justice undeniable there's no precedent for this I mean the precedent was 2008 when the Democrats did the same thing 2008 when they didn't allow that's not true after the senator it's what's it look it's named after the senator that tell me that there's a Supreme Court justice That Bush didn't get in because he died in 2008 And that it was 17 months to go I look for it Because I might be wrong
Starting point is 00:05:35 I've been wrong from time to time But I No this is a facts based podcast Right Yeah yeah So when I looked Like no one had been held up this 17 months. You have to stretch it. There was one maybe during Nixon or Ford or something,
Starting point is 00:05:56 but in that case, three different people had been voted down. It wasn't a refuse to vote situation. To find a refuse to vote situation, you have to go before telephones were invented. We'll see if Taylor finds me off target on this. But to me, it's like an unprecedented problem. And another thing, if Hillary had won and she was under investigation by the FBI and the CIA and 17 other intelligence organizations for having colluded with the Russians, right? If that was the, like Chuck Schumer right now, who's biased and whatever, but this guy is saying, you know, under these circumstances, we should be holding up the
Starting point is 00:06:35 Supreme Court nomination. And he's putting the stain of Trump's Russian involvement on pretty much anything he's trying to pass. Because who knows, maybe a year from now, Trump is out. You know, Trump and Pence could be out and Ryan could be in. I don't know. But that doesn't seem crazy to me. We might have President Ryan before his term is over. Because if Trump is out, there's a very good chance that Pence is just as dirty. What's much more likely is that Pence goes down and Trump stays. I think. Pence takes the fall for Trump in some regard.
Starting point is 00:07:17 And Pence goes down and Trump stays. The reason I don't see that happening is that I think Pence is more liked and respected by his peers. It would take... People would have to turn on Pence. I don't know. We haven't even gotten anywhere near that, though. We're not there, no. Did you find the 2008 president, Taylor?
Starting point is 00:07:36 I'll have to keep looking for it, because I'll be looking and I'm not going to talk about it. It's named after a senator. But in any case, they did it. That's a tricky thing. It's like, all right. But in any case, like, they did it. That's a tricky thing. It's like, all right, you know, this isn't the world you wish you lived in. It's not the world you live in. So what do you do from here?
Starting point is 00:07:52 You know, do you just stomp your feet and pound your hands like a toddler? Or do you get this guy, Gorsevich maybe, because he's actually not a bad pick. It's tough. But if you're a Democrat, it's it's like ah you fucked me so hard when the republicans stomped their feet and pounded their hands and said i refused to vote you know they i think they have votes i think that should be illegal i think that um uh it's it's like look there's three branches they do checks and balances You can't just let one of them sort of run wild with it by not voting. The checks and balances, it seems like the biggest breach right now in the checks and balances system is the fact that judges are making overreaching decisions and acting more like legislators than like interpreters of the law.
Starting point is 00:08:41 More like, ah, actually, no this this is unconstitutional and whatnot and that's not just people on the left it's people on the right too judges trying to shoehorn their way in and set policy to talk about a negative thing with trump right now uh his this obamacare light nonsense that he is threatening Republican Congress members. Like, you will lose your primary if you don't push this through. Fucking retarded. Like, it's unbelievable how shitty and spineless this does. This is the big thing. It's not going through the House, so why would it matter?
Starting point is 00:09:16 It's just busy work for our politicians to do for the next few months. It's not going to get passed. It can't make it through the House. It doesn't have the votes. I don't want them to do what they're doing now though which is setting the bar low low as shit and then eventually when they make an even more kind of whittled down version of obamacare some people can go well you know we fought as best we could and we couldn't fully repeal it blah blah blah so we just made it you know just as shitty and a little smaller like it it's frustrating to know
Starting point is 00:09:42 that all the republicans have do, they control everything. They control most of the fucking state government. They don't have a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. That's why they can't do what you want. So let me lay this out. You probably know this already. But to win with a simple majority, they can only pass budget-based bills, right? So they were able to make changes to Obamacare, and it has to be budget neutral, by the way. So they were able to do like some tax cuts
Starting point is 00:10:13 for the rich and then some benefit cuts for the poor. And that's what this is. It's not a health care bill. It's, I guess, redistributing the income back to those who earned it, if you want to put it that way. So it's tax cuts for the rich, it's benefit cuts cuts for the poor and they make this a budget bill and because it's a budget bill they can pass it with a simple majority they have to if they do some of the other things that you want like a big thing is um health care that goes across state lines right they would like yes we definitely want competition can't have that because then it's not then it's not a budget bill and because it's not a budget bill now all of a sudden the democrats can filibuster it you need like 60 something votes to 60 exactly 60 okay yeah yeah so the republicans claim that oh we're just going to do this in phases and we'll get this easy to pass
Starting point is 00:10:55 shit done now and then the rest of it's coming along right and then i heard republican congressman today going like this is like he said i wish i could remember the numbers he's like this is like 28 of our fucking economy do we really want to be doing it bumper car style a little at a time and then the rest comes through and hopefully hopefully it fucking works this is trillions of dollars that we're talking about moving around over the next or next decade or so the reason we have this shitty compromise thing ryan care trump care call it what you want it no one likes it, is because these are the parts you can do under reconciliation, which is a budget bill. The other stuff that would really make the changes that the Republicans want starts getting into non-budget based things, and they can't have that. They would need a super
Starting point is 00:11:40 majority in the Senate, and they don't have it. They can't have it without help from the other side. And so the interesting thing will be to see if that can get done. And especially amidst all the Russian stuff, which is what I think is the thing to look at, period. Because Trumpcare, whatever you want to call it, he doesn't like calling it Trumpcare. And I don't know that it's
Starting point is 00:11:59 fair to call it Trumpcare. Trumpcare isn't going to make it through, especially not as it is. It's not going to make it through the House. It's not going to become law. One of my friends the other day was like, oh, shit, I've got to get my healthcare sorted right this second and get it overnighted to the place where
Starting point is 00:12:16 I'm getting my new healthcare because Trump might, this Trumpcare might go in tomorrow, and if it goes in, then I'm fucked, and I'm just like, you think the federal government is going to put a new healthcare bill in in this week it's not gonna happen this year dude like like no no it's just not gonna happen it's a non-issue fake there's a big buzzing hive of bees in the capitol building that that isn't doing fucking shit the supreme court justice is gonna get nominated because they can't stop him but obamacare or trump care is not going through and uh and oh and you know trump may go down uh before his presidency is
Starting point is 00:12:51 is through that's that's the interesting stuff i i really don't like uh what's happening with the whole intelligence community it seems like it seems like this should be something that liberals and conservatives and democrats republicans everybody like, whether or not a leak comes out of the intelligence community, CIA, FBI, and it benefits you or not. Like, you still need to take that fucking seriously and be like, hey, that means that there are at least some of these fucking people that will spitefully release pertinent information about American officials or American policy or American ops or whatever. Like, that's fucking bad news to have an intelligence community that's leaking to anyone. Which ones in particular? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. The way the way I look at it is like some of the stuff that seems to be coming out of the White House in particular, those leaks, those the ones that I that I see a lot. It's like, oh, we have a source in the White House who says X, Y and Z. You know,
Starting point is 00:13:43 that I see a lot. It's like, oh, we have a source in the White House who says X, Y, and Z. Yesterday, just yesterday, Trump was in high-level meetings golfing. Stuff like that. When you get information out of the White House that Trump doesn't necessarily want getting out, like that a conversation with Australia went poorly or whatever it may be, the intelligence leaks, that's kind of a double-edged sword. Sometimes it's like, oh man, was our government doing something that no American would want it to be doing? We all need to know about this so that people should be held accountable and our government should be ran in a way that we'd all be proud of.
Starting point is 00:14:19 You see that and you're happy about that leak. There are mechanisms within the intelligence communities and within the government for people to report things like that. But when those systems fail, there's nowhere else to go. And you end up with someone like Snowden, you know, over there, God knows where. I love leaks. And to my credit, I loved them when Obama was president too. So fucking leak away. And like, like recently, it came out that Manafort, this is Trump's original campaign manager, Manafort took money from some Ukrainian organization that had ties to Moscow, right? Yes. And I'm like – Did he take money or did he facilitate a transaction?
Starting point is 00:14:56 The water is a little bit muddy, but yeah, it looks awful. It looks awful. It really looks like – that's where the fundraising has come from, right? He's getting cash from Russia to win his campaign. No, there's no evidence of that, is there? That he got money from Russia to fund his campaign? I don't think that that's it. When I hear about money coming, I think of much more nefarious sources for that money.
Starting point is 00:15:22 I think of bribes, payoffs, hush money, moving wheels that were rusty, things like that. Well, don't quote me on that. I've been away from my keyboard too much lately. I'm not up to date. We've all been experiencing real- We all know. Yeah, right? Apparently it was Chuck Schumer in 2007
Starting point is 00:15:40 who 19 months before the next president, Obama was inaugurated, he said that they would quote do everything he can to stop the nomination of justice pickering we can do better justice pickering justice pickering oh and then then they moved on from pickering i guess and schumer again promised to make the nomination process difficult for president bush over care wait let me make sure carolyn cool is who i'm inferring she is but regardless the leak thing like it doesn't sound like they went 17 months
Starting point is 00:16:10 by refusing to hold a vote it's one thing to vote against them it's another that's the unprecedented it's not really unprecedented though because the congress they don't have a responsibility that they have to do that like it doesn't say you must to do this i feel like that should be a thing you know how you have a right to a speedy trial like i feel like you know if the president doesn't happen speedy trial thing not if you're not anymore but uh um yeah if you're president i feel like there should be a speedy vote on your supreme court nomination otherwise they just get to like prevent you from nominating people and it's his right to nominate people like the democrats come back and conquer the congress in 2018 and then at the end of trump's turn if ginsburg dies and the democrats are able to control and say nope nope nope nope then they should be allowed
Starting point is 00:17:03 to do that that's their like they shouldn't have to sit there as Democrats and go, you know what, all of our Democrat voters, they want us to do everything we can to stop this Trump nomination. But, ah, he can't, let's let him go. He's already, he's still the president, right? Like, people won't care that much. Like, it's their job at that point to say, no say no this is i don't want to not lose my job and so i am voting against that like so i understand from both sides why they do that
Starting point is 00:17:30 because they're protecting their interests and doing what their constituency would want it's a it's really tough for me and i i do do my best to put myself in the other guy's shoes and see what's right like with the leaks i've been consistent on the leaks. Leak away. I don't... If my government is doing shit that embarrasses them, then put some sunshine on that and maybe it'll disinfect it. I disagree now.
Starting point is 00:17:54 There's a difference between embarrassing them and embarrassing us. I guess it depends on the leak. You know, because like... Yeah, like when we were spying on Angela Merkel and it came out. Like, I was okay with that. I just wish it hadn't came out this is the german thing i didn't hear yeah we're spying on angela merkel right i'm on the same team there yep yep like it
Starting point is 00:18:12 i don't know there are leaks that hurt america that are normal or whatever like that wasn't helpful that wasn't good if it's a leak that says like doubt that this senator is a pedophile and doing whatever, it's like, okay, that's a good leak to have because then you catch a pedophile. But if there are people like that who are spitefully willing to leak things, like, that are not in regard to stuff like that, it's maybe a military secret or some operation we're running that really needs to be on the hush-hush because we can't be talking about it. Like, there are those – if there are people who would leak some stuff, there are people who would leak everything, you know? And it's a little unsettling to be like, okay, there are clearly a bunch of people in this organization
Starting point is 00:18:52 that hate current leadership enough that they may jeopardize truly vital information, not just, hey, Trump said shit on a bus, because, like, that's embarrassing. But keep in mind, Trump really does have russian ties right trump has russian trump jr said hey you know what a disproportionate amount of our funding for our real estate business comes from russia and the reason is american banks stopped working with him after he declared bankruptcy that's the truth he said that public since 2008 i think or something trump has a lot of loans from russia um manafort had all kinds of connections for russia
Starting point is 00:19:25 uh was it a flynn right was a foreign agent literally a fucking foreign agent and he retroactively registered as a foreign agent after they ejected turkey yeah so like we've got bad stuff here that needs to be leaked that should come out i i and it seems like the trump administration's response is hey you know what snitches get stitches stop ratting on us you know if i knock over a liquor store and kill some guy the big offense here is not that someone snitched but yeah you know that's where they seem to be but if if you're a member of the CIA and it's high-risk shit, I can understand, just like in the military, how it's a keep your fucking mouth shut thing,
Starting point is 00:20:13 where it's like, hey, you can't just go tweeting about this next Marine Corps thing. It's two different kinds of leaks, though. There's the leak where you're exposing something bad, and there's the leak where you're opening your homeland up. You're making your homeland less defensible making you're putting us all at risk it's one thing if you say hey the united states has this new stealth aircraft it's completely invisible but it destroys the ozone layer and i'm leaking that it's like shut the fuck up right like like you want to like like there won't be enough the ozone doesn't matter if you're not an american all right we have this new
Starting point is 00:20:44 stealth aircraft but i'll tell you what. We just can't stop getting it to emit a frequency. 444 gigahertz. Yeah, yeah. Don't leak that either. Keep that to yourself, right? Don't make us a weakness. Don't make us weak.
Starting point is 00:20:56 But on the other hand, like, if something bad is happening that's reprehensible, expose that for the light of day. If we're... Which we are, are you know taking down democrat democratically elected uh governments throughout the world via the cia yeah shine a little light on that you know all of the people who are like oh my god vladimir putin's the most evil man in the world can you believe he tried to influence our election it's like yeah we did it like 70 times over the last 40 years it's it's it's pretty common that's a good distinction bad thing it's just a thing that gets done don common. That's a good distinction. It doesn't make a good thing or a bad thing.
Starting point is 00:21:25 It's just a thing that gets done. That's a good distinction of types of leaks. And you're right. And most of these leaks should be out there. Let's talk about the best leaks. Are you familiar with Paige from the WWE? I think she's the women's champion or something. Very attractive girl.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Apparently a lot of her photos and videos were leaked out onto the internet four or five days ago. Real fiasco. There's a whole subreddit. And you're staunchly against it now. There's a whole subreddit. You gotta keep in mind that it's a very particular
Starting point is 00:21:59 group who watches wrestling, right? I don't want to denigrate those people but come on you're already talking slower be real careful not to offend you people who watch that shit all right like like you're not as bad as you know some of those you're not like the highlights i can't follow it week to week it moves too slowly whatever no it's absurd it's a big soap opera with like guys and women who aren't that scantily clad fighting each other well she's apparently like like a big heartthrob and like like all these wwe fans are have been masturbating over
Starting point is 00:22:36 this girl for years and like every time you see like a nipple out in the ring and all of a sudden she's like fucking your butt with a dildo and having like a three way with two other wrestlers, fucking wrestlers in the in the locker room, like all kinds of very good behavior. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's I want that leaked. And I feel real bad for her. But but I mean, they're just all over the Internet. It was hard not to avoid. I thought I had seen all this, but I don't remember three ways in the locker room or anything i yeah there's a black guy he's a he's a wrestler
Starting point is 00:23:08 so then last night the uh there was wrestling happened i don't know what channel or there's like two or three organizations but wrestling happened and the black guy who's in the video is like like they do one of those things where it's it's like an interview and like you you hype up wrestlemania or something or whatever the fuck's coming up next fight and it's three black guys and the two on the side go Johnny anything you want to tell us about? Yeah anything you want to tell us all about?
Starting point is 00:23:34 And he's like Wrestlemania! It's coming up! That's hilarious because in the video he's getting ridden by her while another guy films it while another guy films him. It's pretty intense. So this is quite a production.
Starting point is 00:23:49 It wasn't a cell phone production. Yeah, there's many of the videos. You said the other day that Emma Watson had posed topless. And I assumed that she had posed topless. But she posed for Vanity Fair in this flowery thing where you can't see yeah like in a shawl yeah yeah you can't see any nudity i could be wrong they wrote that she was topless on the subreddit and i was going okay she merely has a shawl it's not the same she could be totally topless and there could be a digital black bar that's not the same you know i
Starting point is 00:24:23 i was under the impression that her boobs were out and then yeah kyle was really offended when i said naked she just looked like a regular person but that was my big takeaway from it it's like oh what do you know emma watson human you know what offended none of it offended me i just thought it was a bit offensive to be like oh now that i've seen her naked, she's normalized in my eyes. She's not quite the – she's not that up on a pedestal mythic thing. A lot of people wrote comments on that. That's totally interesting. It's not just like that.
Starting point is 00:24:52 They all were like, yeah, I'm totally with Woody. Everyone – unanimously. They were like, yeah, something happens. Like you have a woman on a pedestal or anybody, whatever. And then like I don't know. Somehow she just became a beautiful person. But back to human, I guess, you know, something something more regular. It's like I think they even use this example on the show. It's just like when you meet a professional athlete that you idolized or an actor that you idolized or some celebrity.
Starting point is 00:25:25 athlete that you idolized or an actor that you idolized or some celebrity and after walking away from it you're like man i had built them up in my head to be such a titan of whatever industry or sport they're a member of that walking away you're like huh man i set myself up for disappointment because there's not a person on earth who's as good as i imagined fucking martin brader would be meeting or whatever dude i so i I say I'm six foot, right? The truth is I'm close enough to six foot that if I wear sneakers, I actually am, right? No one will call you on it, yeah. Yeah, no one calls me on it.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Everyone does that little half inch extra. A lot of people who met me are surprised I'm not taller. And in my head, that's just like, yeah, you've built me up into something better than I really am. You know? Because they thought I'd be 6'3 or something. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Like, 6 foot was proper footwear. They respond when you show them your naked photo shoot. They're even more funny. They say, don't show these to my girlfriend. She'll never be satisfied by me. These calves aren't quite as chiseled as the inner baby thinks. See the definition. You call that vascularity?
Starting point is 00:26:36 I don't care for vascular legs. No. Isn't that gross? I don't like vascularity in general. Whenever I see that vein bulging out on somebody i'm like man if we got in a fight i'd cut that right away like like it was a knife fight i'd oh there's a good one okay like i cut that right away yeah it's a little bit of vascularity like if you got a couple veins after a pump or something especially there but then
Starting point is 00:27:02 sometimes you see people with just oddly veiny hands you know where it's like that's too much that's a little too much like gain three pounds cut down 70 on your the girth like if you when you look at the veins and it looks like a subway tunnel and it's not just like a little bump you know where the vein is i don't know i don't care especially on the legs but usually only see that with uh like bodybuilders and people who are too much of anything too much you have too many muscles not too many too large a muscle and such it's too much too but mostly when i see vascular guys and stuff i used to think oh my god that's amazing you know i don't know if i'd want it but i'm really impressed because i know that's hard to achieve now i tend to think like is he on peds is he on some kind of performance enhancing drug because i guess it's the ufc thing
Starting point is 00:27:51 like everyone who looks really good is accused of being on peds like gsp right he was like the clean guy gsp complained about performance enhancing drugs as loud as anybody next to bisping um he would always be like, I want to do drug testing for this fight. Like, Hey competitor, would you be interested in joining me and doing this drug testing? And,
Starting point is 00:28:14 but still I look at that guy and I'm like, I don't know if he's natural, you know, like he might've leveled the playing field a bit. I don't know. It's so, yeah, I can't see veins without thinking he's on something. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't know. So yeah, I can't see veins without thinking
Starting point is 00:28:26 he's on something. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Whenever I see an actor get big, I just assume that he's definitely on something. I don't know what it is. I don't know what the cutting edge thing that you pay. The way I picture it actually happening, and I think the more likely way that this sort of thing does
Starting point is 00:28:42 happen is, let's say you're Hugh Jackman. You're about to play Logan in the next X-Men movie, and he's gotten bigger as those progress. Like, maybe Fox has a guy, you know, Fox Studios that makes the X-Men movies. Maybe they have a guy or a team of guys or at least another organization that they utilize who's like, yeah, this is Brian. He comes in and he beefs up everybody for the Superman. He did Thor. He did Thor. He made Robert Downey Jr. even look muscular. So he's going to get you ripped. Christian Bateman, right? Whoever. I bet that's exactly what they do.
Starting point is 00:29:09 They just have some specialist guy who's like, hey, I'm going to come in and through hard work and a clean diet, we're going to get you looking great. And how much time do we have? Nine days. Nine days. Okay, we are going to need a lot more clean dieting from you. Dude, I'm thinking hard about TRT. TRT is testosterone replacement therapy.
Starting point is 00:29:32 It's basically roids. And what happened is – I'm already too stressed out on my goddamn time. Dude, I went down – you know how you get in like a YouTube rabbit hole, right? Where like – I don't know. You watch a cello video and suddenly YouTube thinks you're really fucking into cellos. And you just like another one pops up. Happened with me with yodeling like four days ago.
Starting point is 00:29:53 That's awesome. That Asian yodeling guy? Yep, I watched the Asian yodeling guy. I watched a lot of yodeling videos. He's yodeling since he was a kid. Like you go back and he's like old in the newest video and then you go back in time. He's been yodeling since the 80s or something like that. I'm sorry, Woody Corbett. He's yodeling since he was a kid. Like you go back and he's like old in the newest video. And then you go back in time. He's been yodeling since the 80s or something like that. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Master yodeler. So I watched Matt Serra talk about his TRT. And dude, what happens is he's talking about his TRT experience. But he's talking about me, right? He's like, you know what? Like I quit fighting. And he's like, I started doing a little less. I'm like, well, maybe I'm just like a lazy guy.
Starting point is 00:30:26 I got a little heavier, whatever. And he's like, I get on TRT. I got energy all the time. I'm stronger. I'm better. He's like, I know I'm fat. Now, Matt Serra's not that fat. I've seen him with his shirt off.
Starting point is 00:30:39 The problem is he's 5'6". And he can't gain a pound without it looking like he's tubby. But you look at him more objectively, and you're like, you know, that's kind of a guy built like a fire hydrant. And he's like, I know I'm fat, but God, like the way I eat whole pizzas, pastas, this, I should be way fatter than this.
Starting point is 00:30:57 And I'm like, man. Then I go down the YouTube rabbit hole. What's the age that they recommend you start doing it? I don't know the answer to that. Joe Rogan was talking about it. He's been on TRT for like 15 years now or something. Yeah, look at his fucking head.
Starting point is 00:31:18 That's a whole different drug. That might be HGH that does that. Testosterone, he seems to love that. He thinks it's the greatest. He's talking about the importance of having all of his levels checked. He's like, you know, you've got to get everything. You could be low on niacin. You've got to take that shit seriously.
Starting point is 00:31:34 So, yeah, they check you all the time and whatever. And these guys, obviously they're working out a lot. But working out when you're successful and having gains and have energy, it's not the same as dragging your tired ass to the gym against your own will. And I think that's what PEDS does. It turns it into like a thing where you're bouncing off the walls and you have energy. And I forget which one of them it was. It might have been Matt Serra. He's like, I like to keep my testosterone level around, you know, like a 23 year old.
Starting point is 00:32:05 He's like, that's where I'm happy. Like no shit. And, uh, someone asked him about, um, uh, his sex drivers, erections or something like that. And, uh, Matt Sarah is hilarious. Cause he's not shy about masturbating at all. And, uh, he's like, Oh, let me tell you about my cock. I wake up in the morning, fucking thing, gigantic, hard as a rock, blue steel. And he's like, you know, I got to take care of it right then just to do something about it. And he's like, average day. He's like, I jerk off like twice a day maybe and jump on my wife like five times a week. And I'm just like, damn, that's a hell of a schedule you're maintaining there.
Starting point is 00:32:49 And that's like teenager Woody right there. That's like a 20-hour work week. They might want to cut that testosterone down a notch or two. That sounds a little fucking excessive. He's like, well, I wake up and compulsively masturbate for an hour. Then I start my day. If you watch what is his show with Dana White called? Fighter and the Kid?
Starting point is 00:33:14 Nope. It's like to watch a fight, to catch a fight. Oh, the one with Jim Norton? That's the podcast. This is a Netflix special. It's Dana White and it's Matt Sarah. Looking for a fight. Thank it's looking for yeah nailed it nailed it so if you watch looking for a fight sometimes they'll be like matt won't leave his room he's in there jerking off it's not even a secret sometimes he yells through the door like five more minutes i'm still jerking
Starting point is 00:33:40 off you know like he's not at all he's like like Jim Norton with the prostitutes, except he's solo. He's happy to talk about it. And anyway, they just go through the problems that they solved and where they are now with this TRT, and I'm like, damn, this just seems wonderful. So I looked into it, into the
Starting point is 00:34:00 cost, and it's like 50 to 100 bucks a month. Alright, I'm going too to you take that to the high end i'm not going to be the only one who's not on it that's let's say it's 100 bucks a month and that's 1200 a year now i'm going to downgrade it but a thousand bucks a year for this that's worth it oh yeah that's not that's not I feel like people are on Adderall for that much or something. It's actually very cheap. It's like pennies.
Starting point is 00:34:29 But like protein powder alone, anything you do to like – you could order those Tybo tapes and they would cost you that much. Right? Yeah, $100 a month. That's like a whole year of whey protein and pre-workout, right? That's about it. Yeah. If you say it. So there's a place in Raleigh. I have to look it up. Um, I'll find the name immediately because one of the things that,
Starting point is 00:34:54 you know, the pros I referred to like Matt, Sarah, Joe Rogan, maybe Dana White too. Um, they were saying that you want to go to like someone who does this, like nearly like it may need to be about TRT. Like don't go to your family doctor and get some testosterone subscribed to your prescribed to you because you know, they might not know what to look for warning signs too much, too little, et cetera. It's like, you want to go to a TRT, a guy who has real expertise in it. And here it is. It's called the Raleigh clinic for men and uh apparently they're all
Starting point is 00:35:26 about like like like there's specialists there and they talk about all the things they've tried like ah people take pills 98 of it's not absorbed this that they like to put a pellet in your butt or something else and by the way i was very concerned about the in your butt thing but they mean in your butt cheek and not in the middle so uh oh yeah it probably actually forces you to work on your glutes because you're holding that pellet there all day yeah so how do you think like if we all like just hypothetical funny woody decides i'm getting on t and kyle goes i'm pulling the trigger and i go i don't want to be left out I'm going to how does this show begin to change
Starting point is 00:36:07 either quickly or slowly lots of arguments like red face screaming followed by sobbing I'm picturing you don't talk to me like that you're going to disparage my wife and my life like that I'm so sorry
Starting point is 00:36:24 I feel like Woody would be like just the peak to me what is free like you'd be right at your prime you'd be like i'm feeling good i'm banging on all cylinders what you guys get done today and i'd be like i yelled at birds for an hour you know like whatever i was that's one thing i don't want to be a dick on it like i'd rather be soft than an asshole but um But my thought was porn talk. Porn talk every episode. Girl talk every episode. Just sexually rabid
Starting point is 00:36:54 was my... Sexually rabid? Yeah. Drop that line. I would like to become sexually rabid rabbit could you make that happen for me i want people around me to fear so to speak that my vitality might you know swell over onto them but i remember i was in high school and i was i was walking behind the cute
Starting point is 00:37:19 girl on the stairs and uh i was looking at her ass and i was like oh my god this is so perfect what i'd love to be doing to it and then it dawned on me like every girl in this school has a pussy how amazing is that any one of them i'd be happy with right now and uh like this is the thought process of like 16 year old woody yeah a 16 year old man yes i i hope i don't i need to ask for like can you make me 28 when i had some it's like you know what i could think about something else some control exactly 16 year old woody is too far too far look i got in a lot of trouble in my young year so we don't want 23 year old testold testosterone Woody. Trust me. And neither does the state. I've been there.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Yeah. If you could bump up to 29-year-old Woody when I really reined it in a little bit, I think all my neighbors would appreciate it. 29-year-old Woody was a productive member of society. Let's do him. We like that guy. It sounds really
Starting point is 00:38:24 cool. I was talking about it just the other day to someone else it sounds like magic in a bottle and at a hundred dollars a month if you said 500 i'd been like ah is it worth it i mean that is a car payment but man if it makes you a whole new human being i guess me what i said was 50 to 100 yeah yeah imagine if it's 50 yeah like maybe it picks up half of this or something we'll see um so yeah the thing is because it just seems like you're too young like you well there's no way like they're not just they don't just top you off like like they take a blood test and they'd be like oh you could use 0.8 milligrams of testosterone. I feel like Taylor's right.
Starting point is 00:39:10 You guys probably have the T level that I'll get to. You're already there. You don't see a lot of... You're 30 even. You don't see anyone doing TRT at 30. You're really talking about roids. Mostly professional athletes. At this point, you're like... Wait, what would Kyle and i have to do
Starting point is 00:39:25 to get our level low enough even after that a to just show up you want the answer yeah it's alcohol alcohol does it alcohol lowers your testosterone level dramatically you you put up on a real fucking bender the night before uh your testosterone level will be very low the next day hmm you know what they'll probably detect that. Nope. You know what lowers T that's a thing for me? So the reason I haven't already like made a call just to see where it goes is, um,
Starting point is 00:39:54 if you're not sleeping well, that hurts your T levels. I read that as well. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. So tomorrow morning, actually,
Starting point is 00:40:01 uh, double whammy. Um, I mean, for my appointment, what what are we i don't know yeah tomorrow morning i get that everyone knows c-pap but mine's actually a b-pap machine it's like an advanced version and uh i like we have hopes that that is a game changer for me so we'll see maybe i wake up with more tea and better rest and i'm just you know pumping on all cylinders all the time yeah i mean you think like dude i wake up like interest me i hope you do it
Starting point is 00:40:32 um because because i'm really interested in it too and i would love to like get the uh the ins and outs you're talking about trt like yeah yeah i'm sorry i thought you're talking about the bpap i'm like dude no i'm just fine no snoring here um but but like anytime that i if you told me like hey we got this thing over here it'll make you stronger i'm like well fucking how much you know we got this other thing over here it makes you faster like in what part of my day is being strong and fast important sprinting groceries to the car it's never happened so oh god damn i can put a 36pack of soda in each hand. All right. That's it, right? But still, it's a really attractive thing.
Starting point is 00:41:09 I want it. I want the power, the literal power. That's what you're talking about. You're talking about becoming literally my power. I imagine everything you pick up when you're on it being like when you just finished lifting, either working out or lifting something really heavy, like helping someone move. And then you pick pick up a jug of milk and you usually have to give it a little oomph because it's just you know yank it out of that thing and you just like excalibur it's so light it's swinging around yeah yeah uh so here let me just all the things that people with low t have
Starting point is 00:41:42 and uh one is loss of libido, sex drive. That's not really my issue. But I'll go down this list. Fatigue and decreased energy levels. Muscle loss. Reduced weight gain. Erectile dysfunction. Again, I'm okay there.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Memory loss. Depression. Sleep apnea. Hair loss. I'm pretty good there too. And irritable male syndrome. I'm just thinking I'm fussed at my wife for fucking with my door. It bothers me too much.
Starting point is 00:42:10 I don't know. That's IMS. There are things in your life that maybe you're irrationally upset with. My daughter has. Oh, oh. If you drive her car, the computer tells you how many miles are left on the tank. Like, you know, 240 miles till empty or something and uh you just like click it and like go around and set it again it's not a big deal
Starting point is 00:42:30 but when that's not right it bothers her more than it should like it's just crazy about that particular thing she doesn't like it um this door it doesn't like you know 99 of doors you know if you shut them and they just lock this one you have to lift it a little my wife can't get that so she just shuts it repeatedly for like 30 seconds in a row hoping that one of these times it'll start working and i'm in here like talking to you guys and the door is opening and closing non-stop and like the second she walked through the door and she knows i'm doing the show it's just like no no you had to come in now like you had to come in now it's an hour-long show you can't like uh and then uh you know we're talking
Starting point is 00:43:11 and it's just opening i don't know if the mic's picking it up but non-stop open no it's not but i'm it's funny to me that there's a little thing that bothers you like that yeah you're just like oh fucking hell because in your head you're thinking that everybody's hearing like you know an enormous like slam slam slam yeah and yes oh it's funny and i should fix the door i'm doors i'm bad at that uh there's a couple things i suck at and doors is probably top of the list in terms of like handyman things i don't like it like hanging them and making them swing true yes yeah and then oh my god the hinges line up and there's a there's a door in the kitchen right now that like two inches along the bottom of it isn't sealed as well as it should be i don't know if you've ever done weather stripping but like you you can't work on the bottom of the
Starting point is 00:44:04 door because it's only like an inch off the ground you can't hammer the tax you have to take the door off the hinges and work on it and then if you just take a door off the hinges and put it back on people might not know this you don't necessarily get what you started with you you have to retrue it and everything i don't know why there's a lot of stuff going on like if you want to take it up to the next level and become completely infuriated try working on a car door because if a car door doesn't latch just right then the part of it where the that's nearest say the handle of the car door it damages itself so if you open a door that isn't mounted
Starting point is 00:44:37 right then the pop the part that's nearest the fender you know that part that's supposed to swing in will hit the fender and and you know it's a freshly painted like vintage car and they hit each other with so much torque because of it it's at that angle and the paint just crumbles off it just breaks and peels and tears off and you're like okay now i have to repaint the fender and the door and hope they match like like it i just made myself 40 hours of fucking work for for mismounting door. I hoods are the hoods are worse. I've never done it, but,
Starting point is 00:45:08 um, I used to watch TV shows about that and yeah, I've seen it. I've seen the distraught responses to exactly what Kyle is talking about. Just people like, no, no. And,
Starting point is 00:45:20 and they put it all together unpainted. Everything seems fine. And then they paint it and they do a final assembly. Because I guess you have to take it apart to paint it properly. And you would think that since it worked unpainted, it would work painted. But that's not always the case. And it's awful. It's real bad.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Because, you know, especially if it's a hood. Because sometimes the only way to find out it's not going to work is to make it not work. And like on the hood of a 55 Chevrolet, each corner on the hood that's nearest the windshield are like these points. They come down to points that disappear down into a hole. And those fucking hit shit. I can't stand if something is scratched or fucked up we repainted so many doors before i was the sander you were the door sander i was the sander because i can't paint was that the job they gave you to keep you busy your dad like keeping you
Starting point is 00:46:18 involved or did he need you sanding no we restored a lot of cars like like through my childhood and oh yeah yeah like we were always working on something um we restored a lot of cars through my childhood. We were always working on something. We restored a few Camaros, 55 Chevrolets, 35 Fords, slant back, a bunch of stuff like that. And I was the sander. Is that what you did most with your dad?
Starting point is 00:46:37 Your projects, mostly cars? I don't know. A little bit of everything. But yeah, he likes to think around cars and I like cars so like that was something that we've always enjoyed doing together that's really cool it's one of those cool things it's almost like movie-esque
Starting point is 00:46:54 where it's like oh this is the fucking Mustang I'm restoring with my dad I don't know why you're from New York in this like I don't know it's really cool I uh I that was one of those things that just like lots of things, I enjoyed just as much the fantasy of doing it as actually taking any initiative toward restoring a car.
Starting point is 00:47:14 As I go like, man, how cool would that be if I drove around in a car that you restored and this and that? And then I realized like, Taylor, you don't know how blinkers work. And I was like, ah, you're right. I probably couldn't figure it out. You can though. Dude. You can. You can, but it's just awful. linkers work and i was like ah you're right i probably couldn't figure it out like you can
Starting point is 00:47:25 though you can you can but it's just awful like they make the you get a fucking manual like like we wired uh we when we did that the 55 turbo led we put a fuel injected engine in it so we took an lt1 corvette engine and put it in there and we had to install a whole new wiring harness and ring harness is like this big around bundled cables that do everything it's it's from the computer to like the fuel injection to the tail lights like everything is bundled through this thing and it's one plug after another and stringing that shit through a car that's not meant to be fuel injected dude the it used to be like you needed a mentor and stuff now like if you're smart and enthusiastic about something,
Starting point is 00:48:06 the internet has your answer. I am confident if Taylor was properly motivated, I could drop like a 1973 Volkswagen Ghia in his garage and he'd be like, well, I guess I got to put this together and he'd do it. Like the answer is there somewhere. Assuming that's in a car. I don't even know if they made Ghias in 73.
Starting point is 00:48:26 It comes down to passion at this point. Really, when you think about it. If you really love cars, that's what you'll do. There's no way I would have spent the countless hours looking up useless facts on magic cards and strategies if it was at all... It's not valuable
Starting point is 00:48:43 for my life at all. Ever. But it's super fun and it's passionate and I enjoy it and at all like it's not valuable for my life at all ever but it's super fun and passionate and i enjoy it and so it's worth it just like the car thing except girls aren't impressed by the magic aggregation collection nearly as close or not i would imagine yeah what do you think girls like that guys do like i've heard girls are really big money in yeah there's obviously that that's a thing and. And I don't even know if that's bad. Of course not. They like handy guys. I think that's a thing, actually.
Starting point is 00:49:11 I think if you would describe a girl's fantasy man, of course he earns lots of money. He's also really good looking. He's built kind of like, I don't know, a Brad Pitt or something. kind of like, I don't know, a Brad Pitt or something. But I bet if he builds furnitures and fixes things around the house, that would be something. They would love it if that's how he spent his spare time. Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I don't think they ever dream of a paramotorist. That's not. No, but that's just because it's so obscure. The Nightwing had lots of groupies. It's just so obscure they don't know to think of it. You're a first adopter. I don't even think girls dream of hunters. I really think the handyman thing is like, I don't know, a guy in a tool belt fixing shit around the house is part of perfect man.
Starting point is 00:50:00 I mean, someone to do things for you is a pretty attractive concept. He's like not only does he do things for me, but he's good at it. Yeah, I don't do shit. He makes tons of money and he fixes anything and everything. I love it! What's the point? It's really just labor. But he was 5'9 so I had to pull the plug.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Did you see the thing on Reddit today about Beauty and the Beast? Yeah. Oh, you're 6'4. What? Yeah, I want to get it right. What is it? What is the thing on Reddit today about Beauty and the Beast? Yeah. Oh, you're 6'4". What? Yeah, I want to get it right. What is it? What is the thing? It's the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. He's like, I'm 6'4", and I'm a hideous beast.
Starting point is 00:50:35 And she's like... Yeah, and he's like, I hold people against the will. I want to get it right. Imprisonment for picking flowers or something. I'm looking. Reddit search functionality. All this time, just... They've never taken a step forward. They've never really...
Starting point is 00:50:59 Search failed. Sorry. Our machines are under too much load. You know how many times I've tried to search something on Reddit? I think three times ever. And the first two I thought, there must be a server problem. It can't be this bad. And then you realize, like, I'm better off just to sift through the annals of the internet on my own until I come across what I'm looking for than this goose chase.
Starting point is 00:51:21 The best thing is to Google it, honestly. Yeah, maybe you're right. The best thing is just to Google Reddit using the beast. Yeah. Good call. I've been playing a good bit of Magic Online. How are you doing?
Starting point is 00:51:38 I'm doing shit right now. What'd you say? You broke up for a sec. I said I've been playing magic online but it's hard to do anything with Chiz hard to do anything why is it hard to do anything with Chiz you have me curious I can't even get the non-verbals because your
Starting point is 00:51:58 video is sort of frozen but why is it hard to do things with Chiz you're gonna have to say it. Because it is an expensive deck. Oh. Oh, he did. What did he do? How much did he spend?
Starting point is 00:52:12 What did he do? I'm talking about the Tron Lands. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he bought the Tron Lands, which are... I'm not going to go into explaining it. But, you know, a whole new way of playing the game in a sort. And I don't know, a bunch of his cards are like $2 or $3 a piece.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Just real, real hard to do anything with his on a consistent basis. The Tron land thing was super unfair to do because it's like, oh, I didn't spend hardly any money on it. It's like, well, yeah, but you've bought lands that make
Starting point is 00:52:44 all the shitty kind of artifacts that you get on it. It's like, well, yeah, but you've bought lands that make all the shitty kind of artifacts that you get in your basic pack. Now they're viable, and you can use them. Oh, he doesn't play any shitty artifacts. Oh, he bought actual artifacts. Oh, yeah. Well, he's got the firm coil guy. That guy comes out, and then
Starting point is 00:52:59 Ulamog comes out and makes you tap, like, seven of your He's casting an Ulamog. He has Anni tap like seven of your... He's casting Annihilator 6. Yeah, Annihilator 6. But Annihilator 6 at turn five or something like that. What a dick. Pulled out Terminator 2
Starting point is 00:53:16 and I tried to counter with my Predator, but Terminator beats Predator. We all know how that one ends. I made an Aura Swap deck, though, that I look a lot. So I get like an 11-11 monster out on turn 3 if it goes perfectly, but turn 4 most of the time. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I've been having a lot of fun on there. Yeah. Are you familiar with that, like, mechanic, the aura pop mechanic? Yeah, of course. I'm consistently being chased with my Norse deck. So you put out a one mana. You play a one mana hex-proof creature, and then you attach an aura to it called, like,
Starting point is 00:53:59 it's called Arcane something or other. It's a two-cost mana. That mana for three mana allows you to remove it and replace it with a mana that's with a or a thicker hand. So you put an Eldrazi aura that's like plus 10 or plus 10 later
Starting point is 00:54:15 for free on turn three. That's pretty handy. Is that panning out against Chiz at all, or is his deck just too expensive to take on? I have the most luck with Chiz at all, or is his deck just too expensive to take on? I have the most luck with Chiz with my bird deck because it's got some land destruction. It's got Sewing Salt, and it's got Boil, I think, which destroys all lands.
Starting point is 00:54:36 His deck is blue Tron, so all of his lands are Tron except for blue. So I play Boil or I play Boil and destroy three or four islands at once if I can for four mana and play Soul Assault for three or four mana and eliminate all of one of his
Starting point is 00:54:55 Trons. Yeah, that's really unfair to try and take on a Tron deck like that. Like if he has Wormcoil engine, if he has Wormcoil engine in there, that's the 6-6 lifelink death touch. When it dies, you get a 3-3 lifelink and a 3-3 death touch.
Starting point is 00:55:11 That is not fair to bring into a hook. I hate it. I played my Dothraki against it. He used death touch. We managed to bring Carl back, but he wasn't the same. The whole thing was fucked up he had a minus one minus one counter on him persist that uh yeah so we eventually i killed him out on my own
Starting point is 00:55:33 and uh and then but now i've got dragons and really no one fucks with me sounds like your game's going well and ongoing i guess yes yeah so kyle what two more seasons Kyle, are you resolved now to build a deck to beat his very good or I guess more expensive deck? Or are you just going to go whole hog and buy your own expensive deck? I've got like
Starting point is 00:55:58 five or six at this point. I've got a really nice mill deck. I've got a nice burn deck. I've got a really good green ramp deck that ramps up to Eldrazi. I've got that aura swap deck. It's just hard to deal with him in particular. He's good at the game and that
Starting point is 00:56:13 Tron deck. I honestly don't like playing him very much at this point. I know his deck. Every card in his deck. When I see him, I'm like, oh, that guy. I'm getting most of what you're saying. Now, why doesn't
Starting point is 00:56:27 Kyle get a Tron deck? He could, it's just he'd have to spend money. How much? Because it sounds like we're talking about $15. No, the lands alone would be like $30, $34 for the land cards, and then
Starting point is 00:56:44 I don't know, it's probably like $75 back. Yeah, the point is that now Chiz has introduced the incremental spending thing, which is once again, exactly what I said would happen every single time we brought this up beforehand, I said one of us is going to spend more money
Starting point is 00:56:59 and everybody's going to catch up, and then you're going to spend $7 more, or $8 more than the person, and they go, well I gotta catch up, maybe I spend $20. I told you exactly how this was going to play up, and then you're going to spend $7 more, or $8 more than the person who did that, and they go, well, I've got to catch up, maybe I spend $20. I told you exactly how this was going to play out, and so I knew exactly what she was going to do. But, yeah, that's shitty, and Kyle wouldn't want to make a Tron deck, to answer your question, because it wouldn't be fun to play two very, very similar decks against each other like that.
Starting point is 00:57:19 I wouldn't think. I think the variety. Diversity is our strength, as I've heard on college campuses. What I need to do is build a control deck. It would be a control deck with flyers or something. If I were just countering every spell he casts when he starts casting his artifacts
Starting point is 00:57:38 to dig through his library or when he starts playing blue spells to draw cards. If I were just countering all of that, meanwhile putting out small flying creatures, I'd probably win. Kyle, it's been a good ten minutes now. Do you know why your internet connection might be so bad? No.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Okay. At least we got through most of the show without it fucking up, you know? Yeah, my internet's been bad recently. We had a really bad storm in the last couple days it's been. Not good. What I would recommend to you Kyle for beating Chiz, don't make a blue
Starting point is 00:58:10 control. Make a blue green infect deck. It's going to be a lot of small unblockable creatures and you'll deal damage in the form of poison counters. And poison counters is a really fucking annoying thing that Magic added some years
Starting point is 00:58:25 ago and then immediately got rid of in the following sets because it was so broken so you can basically win by taking their life total from 20 by default down to 0 or by getting them to 10 poison counters so you only need to get them to 10 poison counters and if someone deals 1 damage
Starting point is 00:58:41 directly to you and they have infect then guess what you get 1 poison counter. And so you basically just get a couple of unblighted agents or blighted agents, whatever. One, one unblockable Infect, blue, two cost. You throw those down and then on like turn three, you just use a Giant Growth and a
Starting point is 00:58:57 Overrun or some fucking card and swing for like eight. And then, yeah, just do whatever you want and you deal damage in the form of poison counters and they it is a deck that wins if your opponent doesn't know you're playing it it will win almost every single game and the
Starting point is 00:59:14 game after that they will say I don't want to play anymore that oh that's what I was just thinking the whole time you're talking I'm like dude I should get into magic and I should get like a fan to work as my consultant and be like look look ideally i win but the primary objective here is to make people not want to play that's really what i'm going that's such a big mechanic in magic i played a guy like sometimes
Starting point is 00:59:36 lose and i'm like yep that wasn't so bad a lot but hey kind of close or maybe i got blown out you know it gets over with every turn they like they like, they hit you, and you take damage, and then the next turn comes. There are some guys who don't even play cards. They don't play creature cards. They don't play any. They just put lots and lots of artifacts and enchantments that say things on them that happen to you.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Like, one of them will say that anytime you want to play a spell, it costs two more than normal. And one will say that, oh, you can untap one type of card on your next turn. And then one of their cards will say something like, whenever you get luck, I've copied this. You just fucking win. They'll have these win conditions that have nothing to do with how you thought
Starting point is 01:00:17 the game was going to go down. They'll just make a bunch of artifacts or something and win. The whole wild. I played a guy last night who had some kind of a card that every time he tapped his card he got to look... We were playing with our decks, with our library's
Starting point is 01:00:33 card up, and he was able to continually tap and put a card from the top of mine and his into the graveyard until I had a land card, and then he would let me receive another land. Over, like, nine turns in a row, I just got land played to me.
Starting point is 01:00:48 I couldn't do shit. Yeah, the magic is, like, it's so unfair that everything is fair, in a way. Like, there are so many unfair keywords. Like, have you come across... Storm and Dredge are two keywords that ruin the fucking game. If someone says oh i'm gonna play my storm deck against you say let me see that real quick and then go throw it in the garbage disposal
Starting point is 01:01:12 and give them the finger and walk away because storm is not really if i had an awesome storm deck i want to play it too i literally had this happen i know we're an hour in but i want to wrap just like a little magic story but um so i was teaching new irl friends magic who wanted to learn more about it and what happens every time you play magic because you get everybody into it i brought the same decks that i brought uh when we i was teaching you to play kyle and we played with those and i brought a couple of my real constructed decks too and i used my my favorite my red black or i'm sorry green black reanimator and i only got to use it one game because it is so loophole-y and i'm actually gonna do this and that and this and that and like that spongebob
Starting point is 01:01:53 episode where he's dancing around but like just grizzle brand and fucking you know reaver demon and all these awesome cards like turn whatever for free and of course people are like that's awesome and in the next game they're like you're not using that again are you? Oh wait is Grizzleband that green creature that goes in the graveyard you have to like bring it back or whatever? No that is uh
Starting point is 01:02:14 Grizzlebrand is a 7-7 8 cost black demon lifelink and pay 7 life to draw 7 cards and flying and he's just useful lifelink and pay 7 life to draw 7 cards and flying okay and he's just useful in those mill decks because you can draw up a ton of cards in your hand
Starting point is 01:02:30 and of course discard whatever you want but yeah anyway I'm glad you're enjoying magic and it stinks that Chiz took that very very shady route with ya I never see his
Starting point is 01:02:46 black life gain deck anymore. None of those other decks come back into play. I'll play four different decks and it's just Tron, Tron, Tron, Tron. It's real bad. There's a counter to it, though. I could break out the poison one or something.
Starting point is 01:03:02 I've been reading. I've been trying to counter it. I've been trying to counter it for four days. I've been spending money to counter it. You know, you buy it. Alright, well, give me $8 worth of that. Those bullets. I'll shoot those bullets at him instead. Those will stick. And you get those $8 bullets. And he's like, aha, I bought a $2
Starting point is 01:03:18 bullet to counter all of your $8 bullets. I was like, damn it. What Taylor says is really accurate. It's an arms race. Yeah, it really is. The counter might be $455. Get a plane ticket, go over there, rough him up if he plays fucking Tron again. That is, you know, I doubt he will.
Starting point is 01:03:34 But you can't even destroy the cards because they're digital. No, but you could discourage the behavior. Well, Woody, Boxy, Kyle, you want to call it a wrap or i guess uh pixely kyle kyle is my uh the fetish i developed in the 90s look at him with his mouth open like that i i can't even tell to me he was totally stuck in like a blowjob like and i'm just waiting for him to like, I don't know, he's pixelated, he's blowing.
Starting point is 01:04:05 This is how I got off in the 90s. Not for me, he's just a very blurry. 2,400 Bond Kyle. A nerd only jokes will get. Nerds will get. All right, all right. BKN, episode 136.

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