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It is PKN 137.
All right.
Oh, so before the show started,
we were talking about, I was totally interested in this.
So right now, I think if I'm on target with this,
the House and the Senate both signed a bill.
So it's going to the president.
I think that's where we are on it.
And it allows ISPs, that's like your Time Warner,
your AT&T, like whoever you get your cable modem from,
to sell your data and that, like your Time Warner, your AT&T, like whoever you get your cable modem from to sell your data and your browsing activity.
So they're going to know what pages you look in,
all the things you type, all the search strings.
They're going to know anything that happens in clear text.
Are you hanging on Facebook?
Are you hanging on YouTube?
Which videos are you watching?
All your browsing history can now be sold.
And of course, there's advertisers
who are just chomping at the bit to get this kind of information. all your browsing history can now be sold. And of course there's advertisers
who are just chomping at the bit
to get this kind of information.
I was talking about it with Taylor.
Taylor has a marketing degree
and some expertise in this that I don't.
And I'm like, man,
my initial reaction is this is disgusting.
This is real, this is pretty much wiretapping my phone.
It's a modern day phone calls, wiretaps that are getting sold to advertisers to figure out what I might want to do.
Like it's everything about me and probably a lot of people, your browsing activity.
But is that right?
We need our own ISP.
So we can sell data.
We need privacy ISP and like we can sell data. We need privacy ISP.
And we don't sell your shit.
We don't care what you're up to.
Dark web, deep web,
kiddie porn. We keep your shit private.
That's what we do here.
Well, tick it back like two on that dime.
No.
You tick it back, we don't get any headlines.
This way, everybody's talking
about us, and then the moderates move to our side. did you name the company um privacy the privacy isp i was going with pka isp
sure okay that'd be pkips
that's a nice acronym okay
yeah but maybe yeah maybe the child porn thing goes a little far, Kyle, but I know that you're very black and white.
Only if it's animated.
Only animated kiddie porn.
That's all we let through the PKA ISPs.
I'm super interested in what Trump is going to do with this bill, right?
And he hasn't talked about vetoing it or anything, but I have – like he ran on this I am the politician for the people print.
You know,
that was one of the things he said when he did his inauguration speech.
So much of it was like the people are taking back the white house,
et cetera.
This in my mind anyway,
is a real defining moment on whether he's one of those corporate sellout
politicians where you,
you know,
time Warner just donates money to your campaign and then you vote for things that make them money or and and the whole thing about trump
not being beholden to these special interests to my knowledge he's not on this one i mean like they
added up the total amount of lobbying dollars that the uh that had been pushed to like get this thing
through it's only like nine million dollars it immediately made me start thinking like
shit reddit would have came up with $9 million
if we could have pushed a politician.
I was thinking about that exact same thing.
The amount, I saw that one person got bribed for like $650,000.
Yeah, I saw that.
It's almost baffling where it's like,
holy shit, that is so much given away for this little pittance.
Honestly, if you're a senator or in the House or whatever the fuck, if you started a patreon page with goals and i will vote how you want it you will rake in
so much fucking more than than these lobbyists nickel and diamond what taylor's saying full
patreon page i totally like so 650 000 is a lot money. But with regards to the value of what they're getting here,
oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
Like, politicians are so cheap.
They're cheap.
It's unbelievable.
The return on investment is outrageous.
It is like they sold their soul to learn how to play the fucking banjo
or whatever the hell it was.
I don't know, brother.
Where are you?
Fiddle.
Yeah, like it's so little
of a return that it's almost insulting that it's like god damn it like if you had taken a 20
million dollar bribe i'd be like all right what you're gonna do i might have trouble going there
650 grand it's like you make a third of that in the year like you're gonna be fine i don't know
it's just this may be a stupid tech question does a VPN affect
this at all it does yeah yeah if you're going through a VP so VPN does two
things but basically to the ISP it just looks like you're talking to a VPN and
then all that things that you're saying to it are encrypted so without a VPN it
looks like you're talking to Facebook and YouTube
and childporn.com.
With one, you're just talking to a VPN
and everything you're saying is garbled.
So it would be a way to get your privacy back.
I bet those are going to...
I mean, you can already go and buy those
for like a couple bucks a month.
Those are probably exploding in popularity.
I remember when they were talking about
unlocking the San Bernardino iPhone, which they eventually did did they found a third-party company to do for an
undisclosed amount we still don't know who did it or how much it cost to get done our government
just found someone somewhere who did it for some money that's all i know um so whenever that
happened there was talk of like oh shit well the iphone and the android are crap now if you have
anything you want to keep private and so so there was a company advertising these phones,
which their main selling feature was
they were encrypted to some X amount of digits, right?
Some uncrackable amount of encryption.
Like, oh, yeah, you fucking text your mom
and, you know, Bush couldn't get in here if you wanted to.
You know, nobody can get in here.
So maybe something like this will come along for ISPs
because there are people who value their privacy who aren't criminals or like doing something
nefarious they're just like you know it's it's my private business i hope they shoot it down
because it seems like every couple years there's a new thing where it's like hey we're losing some
more internet freedom and every time there's a big hullabaloo and in the end it's just like, ah, we're doing it
anyway. And then they just do it.
It seems like the last, maybe I'm being
hyperbolic, but it seems like the last four or five times
that one of these big bills got brought
up, the whole internet's like, this is
ridiculous, we're gonna riot. And they're like,
actually, nope, nope. Amazon
can know all this about you. And people are like, well,
you know, I do buy a lot from Amazon.
My Amazon purchases will be more streamlined was it copa or sopa or something it was a big deal
hippa and sopa i think that was a few years back hippa i only know that is the medical one right
but yeah that's hippa pipa p-i-p-a is oh what it was i think um but i remember that got defeated
and then like they like instantly they're like,
oh yeah, I know you didn't like SOPA.
Check out COPPA.
And it's like the same fucking thing.
And everyone was like, what?
No, it's the same thing.
And then that got down
and probably when I wasn't looking,
it got passed.
I don't know.
All they do is like,
all right, we tried to be
a little too straightforward.
We're going to put something in here
about being against child rape and child porn.
And then anyone who's against it is a pedophile.
Okay, everybody on board?
All right, great.
Like it's so – anytime I see a bill named like the anti-child pornography act
or the anti-savage beatings for the homeless proposition or whatever it is,
it's like, no, that's not what it's about.
It doesn't take you 600 pages to say, if you see a homeless like, no, that's not what it's about.
It doesn't take you 600 pages to say,
if you see a homeless guy, don't savagely beat him for fun.
I gave a hobo some money the other day.
Did you?
Yeah, he looked like he needed it.
I gave him a 20.
I reached above my visor and I knew there was cash there and there was like a 10 and a 20 I knew.
And I was just like, hey, we'll play a little game here.
Whichever one I grab, he gets.
And I grabbed the 20 and he was like a toothless veteran. And he was like, oh,
thank you, young man. Oh, he was like rubbing it in his hand, like to make sure it was real.
I didn't give money to a homeless family recently. It's like families homeless and their sign had
grammatical errors, which I didn't like. uh but actually more it said their family was strange
like the past tense of strange i didn't even know what they were trying to get at what is it
strangled is it estranged no like what is it yeah i i consider it estranged there's definitely no e
and it seems i don't know what but they're and that wouldn't help narrow it down that much
yeah right like what do you have a whole other...
He's like, no, no, no, my family's just strange.
I need some money.
Yeah, past tense.
They used to be strange.
They're strange.
And I'm like, so I don't know how these poor guys got strange.
That's a bad message he's throwing out there.
You've got to have something good on that sign.
When I see that sign, it says that sign it says like helpless homeless desperate hungry
when they write that they're hungry that's what that's what this guy's sign said it said
you know homeless veteran need help with three lines under it and underneath that it said hungry
with three lines under that and i was like i don't pay any attention to their signs i pay
a hundred percent attention to their shoes and the the way their shoes look
because if there is any kind of clever message on that whatsoever they're probably not that
homeless they're probably low level homeless where they're just like out there kind of trying
to get shit they're going to go back to their actual house later that night if you see like
a dejected guy where the shoes look so old and it's just worn through and you can tell
and the pants there's a there's a look that pants get when you've worn them for so long that it's
never had the chance to reform those lines that you get when you fold them up and it just looks
exactly and so you can tell from that and those people it'll just say foo on their sign because
they ran out of energy at D and they're laying there.
I hope these people can infer what I want.
The couple I passed, there was a mom and a son.
The son was like 22, I'll say.
The mom was like 46.
They both looked so capable of working.
They are.
They're Epstein-Barr.
Unless they're a little too strange.
I, I, I was just like, like, I was looking at him and I'm like,
something about the family kind of was heart grabbing, but it was just like,
dude, you are so obviously able to work.
Like that's the real thing is like,
if you look and you see like a homeless group where it's like a dad,
you have to assume.
And then some little boy or little girl and then a mom or whatever, you see like a homeless group where it's like a dad, you have to assume,
and then some little boy or little girl and then a mom or whatever.
It's always, unless they look super like fucked up,
you have to wonder like what the hell is going on here?
Like you look like you're like 36 and fine other than being estranged.
Does that mean you didn't want, like Subway was hiring, but you thought I might make more an hour on this corner?
You know, I always hear that statistic.
They're like, X amount of Americans this age or that age don't have $400 or $1,700 or whatever statistic they throw out there to make it look the most impressive.
You know, however they've been.
Can't come up with a grand.
But, like, imagine if you're that 36-year-old.
I'm inventing a scenario.
You know, like, what if his fucking house just burnt down and this guy couldn't afford home insurance
and when his house burnt down, his house burnt down.
And now he's just like,
all my money was in my house.
He's like, I had $600
and it was in there in a big jar
in quarter form.
I hope Taylor's about to say that is why you don't make
houses out of cardboard. Go.
No, I was going to say
this is why we don't make houses out of cardboard. Go. No, I was going to say,
this is why we need Bernie Sanders in there
making sure that home insurance
companies cannot
refuse the pre-existing condition
of your house already have
being burned down.
If you assume
that insurance is a just
in case scenario
and not a purchasing of goods outright, then you would agree with me entirely.
But, yeah, really, why don't – I don't have a sympathy for that guy.
His house burned down and he just didn't give enough of a fuck to have home insurance.
Maybe he couldn't afford the home insurance.
Then he shouldn't have a home.
He's so on the edge that – well, look, I'm not saying that if he
had made the best decision at every
turn of the path, he wouldn't be in the scenario.
Of course, if this were fucking Bill Gates
over there, really thinking it out,
turning to Wozniak, like, what do you think, man?
Should I take this mortgage?
I don't think you can afford the
payments, Bill. Let's rent for a little longer.
Like, that didn't happen.
He got here, he's there. You know when you buy a a car a smart person will look up how much the insurance is going to
cost because you might be like hey you know it it turns out a camaro and uh something else are
about the same price and the insurance can really be a differentiator oh yeah i did not look at how
much home insurance was when i bought this place i didn't know how much do you think it costs let
me guess hang on now do you what does it much do you think it costs? Let me guess. Hang on. What is it covered?
Do you have flood too?
Are we talking about monthly or
biannually?
It's not a risk.
I was going to monthly cost.
I know in areas with floods, that makes it
way more expensive because flood damage is so...
We're on top of it all.
I'm going to form a good guess on this.
Is it $3,500 to
$4,500?
No, that's crazy.
That's too much.
It can't be.
Is it $4,000 a month?
No, no, not a month.
No, not a month.
It's between $500 and $600 a month.
Okay.
And I'm just like, you know, that's like –
That's not negligible.
That's not too far from a mortgage.
I'm doing math in my head.
That's a mortgage if you lived in a shitty house.
Yeah.
I mean, my last mortgage was, I think when we refinanced it to go down to 15 years, I think at that point it was like $1,200 a month or something.
And now we're at that almost in insurance.
Well, half of that in insurance.
I'm just like, huh.
It's kind of like having a mortgage.
Is there any way to get around that
like is there any way to like make your house safer and now your insurance costs less like
could you put in a special kind of wiring for example and now your insurance company's like
oh well shit you've got super duper wiring well those houses never burn and it's like oh you've
got that insulation well that's fire retarded you definitely can do that yeah you can um if you go to like the uh what is it called
i guess just inspector like the inspector who comes by like when you're trying to sell a house
and they'll be like hey it turns out you need to fucking replace this enormously expensive thing
if i know at least sometimes because i've known people who flip houses that you can have them
come in and do like all of the safety tippity top stuff where it's like oh your
fucking water heater is in this way and form and set up this way so that's way less likelihood it's
gonna burst and do stuff down here oh this insulation here way easier this whatever the
fuck uh the unburnable carpet that's an invention let's start that but like you can actually make
it cheaper and then it's a selling point of being like hey this is probably nothing is going to happen that much you know it's as safe as it can be
but i remember the inspector was just like you know yeah fireplace fireplace fire and at one
point she's like how many fireplaces are there five fireplaces and uh i think that was part of
why it was so expensive your insurance is going up up. This is now technically a manor.
Why does this room have two fireplaces?
I don't know how much you utilize these fireplaces,
but it might be as simple as if you put a piece of sheet metal in there
and were like, oh, these are non-active fireplaces.
And then if you want to put a fire in there,
just be like oh
we'll make it active tonight we'll get back but if the house ever burns down get the fuck in there
and put that thing back in the fireplace because they're coming in to look around
they're coming in to look around before they pay that out yeah yeah we use two of them a lot
anyway uh so yeah i really want to know if trump is going to sign this like i'll call it an anti
privacy bill uh because i don't feel like he's beholden to at&t and time warner you know he i
hope is it really up to him like who who is the big guy championing this like do we know like it's
through the house and the senate i think so it literally just needs a presidential signature or
veto i just mean, was there one
politician, like some Republican or Democrat
somewhere, who was championing
this was their thing? Do we know who it is?
Kyle, do you know?
There were like 256, because
they put a list of them in the
New York Times. These are the people who
sold you out, America. That's the vote.
That's the people who voted yes on it.
But usually there's a couple people whose name is on the vote that people that's the people voted yes on it um but usually
there's like a couple people whose name is on the bill or they sponsor the bill yeah i don't know
whose name is on the bill but probably north carolinians because they're the biggest fuckers
in the country right now probably some florida man yeah i'm sorry kyle i interrupted you no no um
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I interrupted you.
No, no.
I wanted to talk about your paramotor race,
but should we save that for PKA?
Because I got a feeling that's a good story.
I wasn't going to ask about it because I figured we'd save it for PKA.
I almost would rather tell it here.
Because we tracked you online.
The challenge is,
so I partnered up with someone
who has less paramotor experience than me.
And my thought process was like, all right, well, one, I needed a partner, right?
There's a race division and an adventure division, right?
The race division guys are hardcore, tons of respect for them.
The guys that did it are like paramotoring royalty.
People there are like, oh, yeah yeah, when I'm not doing this, I'm out filming
for fucking Red Bull in Vietnam, you know, crashing paramotors into each other over the water,
a literal thing. And, uh, um, so, so those are like the race guys. I was in the adventure division.
There weren't that many people in it, fewer than I expected. So it was three and six in the two
divisions, six in mine. Um, only one guy finished
the adventure division, like if whatever you call finish, but that was me. Um, the, a couple of them
saw the weather conditions and we're just like pop smoke, you know, get the fuck out. It's, it's,
you know, too scary. Okay. So now we went from six to like four. One guy quit like right away.
Another guy, he ended up joining up with us and he crashed on takeoff.
So he was out.
Was it a bad crash?
Like was he injured?
I wasn't.
No, he was really mad.
He had a very expensive paramotor, like 20 grand.
And it was, I heard it was just a total yard sale was it a trike or one more like
yours it was more like mine but uh like it's all like custom form carbon fiber fit in his body and
stuff and he's the nightwing holy shit yeah uh actually i wouldn't trade with him i feel like
his paramotor was the coolest one back in clearly. Clearly, it's the most fragile one, which is not a winning feature.
Or maybe he just wasn't that good at it.
It's so expensive.
Avoiding radar detection is not your number one goal.
When you break a piece on it, like that piece is too grand.
Anyway, so he was very upset.
He looked like he was professionally successful in whatever he did,
like just going by his truck and his trailer and his paramotor.
So I imagine that
he's okay but so then it was just laura and i and um uh it was the last leg of the thing like we
what would happen is like she she broke so we like drove to the next thing instead of fly there and
then we went to like launch from, but we got split up.
So we landed out.
And then we drove again when we couldn't fly that leg.
And then we were going to fly into the end.
And she broke again, and I flew back.
And there was a trophy for the adventure winner.
And I had it in my head that it might be mine like I am the only finisher you know I know
I drove a bunch but like everyone else is broken or quit I'm here that's kind of victory I'm here
that's all that matters all races are races of attrition so uh um uh they gave it to her
and uh she won for what why did they give it to her? It said, like, Adventure Division race winner,
and they're like, this is really for whoever exhibits the spirit
of the race division the most.
Oh, my God.
Did you say, I'm in my 40s, and I didn't get free trophies back then.
I missed that whole area, and now I win the trophy,
and you're giving it to someone else to make them feel better, you didn't bring two trophies is that correct okay not a certificate
a merit
cartoon paramotoring guy like in red and blue in the top corner i have my memories that's honestly
pissing me off a little bit that she got the trophy when you were the only one who finished
like was it just how good god like if participation trophies for soccer in like kindergarten are bad
if i saw through those when they handed it to me what does this adult think as they hand her
this big trophy like she looked at me oh my god they think i'm retarded she was like
i feel like i should
split it with you and i was like no no you're fine you should have taken it and smashed it
right no this trophy it was made it was made of like quarter inch steel it was like laser cut
and it was uh it stood up like it wasn't just a plaque it was like a trophy to put that thing oh my god i wouldn't
really have liked to have had more to you than this girl i won't disparage her in any way but
she's not putting that on her mantle she's not displaying that for hundreds of thousands to see
this is terrible you know what should have happened is the guy who gave out the trophy
should have been there listening and then when she said i feel like we should just split it and you said oh no no no i'd rather you have it than any harm
come to the trophy then he would say aha only the true race winner would want to see the trophy whole
than to take half for themselves and then she would he would take it from that stupid bitch
and she'd go oh i'm very nice and then and then so that that's how the race went down but um all the trophy stuff aside like it was it was a pretty
good experience for me like i i flew in rough dude i put up a video on friday i'm sure you guys
didn't see it but i'll i'll reenact it oh fuck oh my god oh it's so bumpy out here oh my god calm down buddy
calm down shit that freaked me out like before the race i'm now flying like hands on my lap
like reading my phone you know like i is there ever a time during the race where you had to like
resign yourself to like i'm gonna crash like i going to crash and there's no way getting around it.
And then you get out of it and you do like that, you know,
like when you're in traffic and you have to take a shit,
but you get that one final pressure sleeping gurgle and you're like,
all right, I'm on my last leg now, but I got some time.
First leg of the race.
We're flying and we're flying and I'm fast.
I'm flying with Laura and I'm faster than her. Right.
So she's going and I'm like, faster, loop around, loop around.
Does that make any sense?
And I'm running out of fuel.
And I'm like, I know that I'm low on fuel.
I'm sure of it.
I get my phone.
I'm like taking a picture of my gas tank back there
because I can't see it.
And I look at it and I'm like, that's like...
I can just imagine like, am I out of fuel?
Oh, no. Oh, shit. Well, at can just imagine like, am I out of, oh no, oh shit.
Well, at least I've got my trusty backup mirror.
So I look at it and I have like 10 minutes of fuel and that's when I make the decision
like, all right, I'm going to stop flying with her cause I'm out of gas.
Right?
Like I've got a real problem here and I'm going to go straight to the gas stop and we'll,
um, we'll meet up there.
The thing is we had like at this point they moved the checkpoint a little bit.
So that's two waypoints on my map.
And then there were two gas stations nearby.
So there's four waypoints all cluttered together.
And this is the area where I needed the most improvement, the planning, the trip.
I somehow thought like more information was good.
No, no, I don't know which one of these fucking dots is a gas stop.
I'm very confused.
So I just beelined for one that I think is a place to stop
and run out of gas in mid-flight.
And so now I'm like, no, no, no, no.
I try to start it.
It starts, but it runs for, like, 5, 10 seconds. And I'm just, no, no, no, no. I try to start it. It starts, but it runs for like five, 10 seconds.
And I'm just, I'm out of fuel.
There's no fuel left.
So I have to land.
There's a field and a field and like a row of trees in between.
And I want to clear these trees because I can see a road over there.
And if there's a road, I can be rescued.
Someone can bring fuel to me and stuff like that.
And I'm coming at the trees and i'm just like even now as i
reevaluate it i think i had a 50 50 shot of clearing the trees right which was not good
enough right for aviation stuff you really want to be pretty sure that it's gonna have one of those
james bond type pull up at the last second instead of hitting the uh the cliff face kind of moments
to get over so i um rather than the risk hitting the trees i turn around and i land down
wind and it's windy it's the windiest day i've ever flown in my life up to this point up until
the day that followed it and uh and um so the wind's going like 15 miles an hour as a tailwind
and i'm already landing at like 10 maybe yeah i don't really run 25 miles an hour. Oh, very few do.
So I come in, and I'm putting my shoes out like they're skis,
and I'm sliding across.
And I didn't realize how fast I was going until I got to the ground.
Because at whatever, even 200 feet, you're like,
I'm moving along fine, but what else?
Yeah, just gliding.
At six feet like everything's
moving at mach one and uh i kind of skied to slow down and then i started running and uh i almost
did it perfect i i kind of took a knee like you know like ran ran ran and then like landed on a
knee and i was unhurt and my equipment was on damage so that was fine but yeah you asked was there like a scary time yeah i when i ran it
and then i land and uh it's cows everywhere there's cow fields oh dude so and it was the
longest walk it might have been three quarters of a mile i carry my wing back and then like
then as i'm carrying my wing back our our support driver, I see him driving my truck.
He stops.
I take my truck and I retrieve the motor.
And as I come back, there's a cop there.
This cop was the biggest asshole ever.
Huge asshole.
Like I later found out.
So he talked to my driver and he was like yelling at him you know like calling them names and just giving
him a hard time even though we're being real kind of like we're backing down conciliatory
is that the right word conciliatory but uh um so i'm just kind of being beta with this guy because
you know he's like yeah what you're doing now he's got a gun and sometimes they want to use it for
no reason he can just ruin your job.
Exactly.
Like, for example, it's not trespassing if you emergency land on somebody's property.
The FAA defines this, and there are exceptions to it.
And so I'm like, look, I ran out of fuel.
I'm pointing to a paramotor with no gas in it.
And it's like, this wasn't the plan.
I was trying to make it to the gas stop.
Everything's going a little crooked today. And he's like, this wasn't the plan. I was trying to make it to the gas stop. Everything's gone a little crooked today.
And,
uh,
he's like,
what you're doing right now is called trespassing.
And I was like,
I didn't intend to,
you know,
I won't be doing it again.
You'll never see me again.
You know,
like this isn't,
this isn't the plan.
We're in the,
the world's hardest air race.
And,
uh,
but yeah,
dude.
So when he talked to my,
when he talked to my,
um,
like friends,
you know,
the guy was driving my truck,
after that, he sees me coming.
So he goes to his truck, and he puts on his sheriff's badge,
and it's hanging as a necklace.
He puts on his gun.
So he got in costume to give me shit.
And there was nothing I could say that would seem to settle him down.
To me, if I'm mad at someone, and then they're like,
I'm so sorry.
I accidentally dropped out of the sky when my plane ran out of fuel.
I did no damage to the land.
I'm just trying to leave.
You landed on your feet.
It's not like you fucking set a Cessna down in somebody's like rose garden or something like
like you didn't just decimate an acre of corn no cow I did get a cow yeah yeah and he was just not
having it and uh so the thing is when I put my paramotor in the back of the truck I removed
two things like a big bin full of sleeping bags and tents and stuff. And some, another one, like a milk crate filled with oil.
And like 20 minutes later,
I realized it was still out there.
So we had to walk back and forth.
Like my watch,
it was 25,000 steps.
Like that's how many steps I did.
It was so much work.
How many times during that whole couple hour long endeavor, I assume, did you say, this was such a stupid fucking idea.
Why did I do this?
It was so fucking stupid.
It's so fucking stupid.
I'm never doing this again.
I have my own place I can fly and I'm going to fly there.
Not at all.
I was like, so it's the Icarus race, right?
It's supposed to be the world's hardest air race.
And I think about that.
I'm like, really?
Well, actually, air races are probably all pretty easy in general.
They just sit there and fly.
So this might be the hardest one.
So it was the world's hardest air race.
And I landed in a cow field when I ran out of fuel.
And I had to retrieve my equipment.
And a cop yelled at me.
I'm like, this is the spirit of the Icarus.
This is what it was supposed to be.
There was another guy.
So the first day was super windy and seven of the nine people decided not to fly that day.
Two guys did.
One guy flew for 20 minutes and then landed.
And you did not fly that day.
Right.
One guy flew for about 20 minutes and landed.
And he's a very good pilot.
You know, Lightyear's better than me.
He's an instructor.
He ended up getting second place in the race.
But he landed because it was too dangerous.
And you should see the, like, he landed at a, like, alligator park.
And, yeah, but, like, he made friends with the people that worked there.
They sat him on an airboat and acted like his paramotor was fueling it.
They put him on...
You know those old-timey
signs where you pose or whatever?
They had him on a tree branch.
Of course, there was a fake
background behind him, with alligators
snapping at his feet and a sign that
said, help, but he's wearing his paramotor
like he's stuck in a tree.
It was the greatest parapicture ever. He landed over there amongst some people who thought it was a great thing that he'd landed and
you land over there next to this douchebag yes yes yes but i thought he had like a cool icarus
experience too you know like and he slept overnight there apparently there's like 600 horsepower
airboats keeping him up all night as he used his wing as a blanket and like
because the race division they're unsupported so they have to you know
they didn't have any deal with here yeah do you think like the gator farmers saw
him coming in and was like a a little money on feed. Have you ever been to one of those places?
This was a tourist trap.
I don't know if it's what Kyle's thinking of.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I went to one where you can't miss it if you've driven through Florida.
I wish I could remember the name, but in the front, they have an enormous, gigantic fiberglass, I guess, alligator mouth.
And, I mean, it's huge.
It's big enough to stand in.
It's big enough to like drive a car up.
It's the size of a car.
And I think it's the whole head.
And maybe it's more of the gator.
It's huge.
It's this thing.
You go in there and they've got a fucking pond full of alligators.
And there's not much keeping a person from just hopping right in if you wanted.
I mean, just a little like-high fence with chicken wire.
You could just hop right in there if you wanted.
And they even had people out on boats in the gator pond.
So they could get a real good close look at these things.
And they're feeding them chunks of raw chicken and stuff, throwing them in there.
But they had all kinds of animals in this place.
They had wolves and, I don't know, anything and everything you could imagine.
This is a restaurant?
No, it's like a
gator wildlife adventure.
I flew over an alligator.
Like every time there was a body
of water I was kind of on the lookout for them.
Partly because I think they're really neat
but partly because I'm kind of nervous and if there's an engine
out or something I'd like to know if there's gators.
And yeah there was a
it wasn't even that big like it was
I'll call it a medium-sized gator.
Maybe it's – you know, numbers dictate that I'm probably from an average-sized gator.
Yeah, that was the thing.
They're like, oh, that gator was, like, you know, seven feet long at the most.
And I used to say that about sharks.
Like, dude, even a four-foot shark, right, that takes off, like, half a foot, unacceptable loss.
Nobody would ever say, oh, you hear tony got hit by a
car yeah but it was a smart car right like no that's still fuck you up well they might say that
you put brock lesnar there and you hit him with a smart car going 22 miles an hour and that's a guy
whose career is over like it's like man versus machine's not good and even more so like the
scary thing about reptiles too is like if if, like, a big cat or something like that, you could almost bank on, like, okay, I got this big thing on my back.
It's going to be smart enough to be like, I've never seen this before.
I'm going to dial back, see what happens, and honestly, I'm probably just going to go for smaller food because I'm a cat.
Yeah, the cat would be terrifying.
Reptiles are so stupid that they don't have the capacity to reconsider not attacking you.
They are going to attack you.
That alligator has no idea it's sitting in the sun.
It has no idea it even turned to bite you.
It's just an autopilot machine.
The locals would disagree with you.
If I had a quarter for every time they told me it's more scared of you than you are of it, I'd have like three bucks just from this weekend.
And I'm like, no, no. It's more scared of me than you are of it, I'd have like three bucks just from this weekend. And I'm like, no, no.
It's more scared of me than
I am of it. You dramatically underestimate how
scared I am of it.
Snuck up behind me and
I turned around and I had the capacity
to go like, like an
actual ape and just beat it to death
and they'd be like, yeah, for good reason. They're
afraid of us. We're very strong bipedal
apes. Only gorillas are more powerful.
But no, we're the weakest apes.
Like, thank God they're as dumb as they are.
They'd attack us a lot more.
Yes, they'd be invading our towns and cities.
Apparently, that response is the wrong...
They were telling me how to deal with alligators.
They're like, if you see an alligator,
don't charge it, don't make a noise,
don't try to intimidate it.
Don't try to rape
it either they they say yeah they're like just observe it and go the other way and that's that's
apparently how you handle an alligator according to the locals but um yeah so we were there were
tons of alligator infested lakes and oh my god so like the first checkpoint was on the edge of a
really big lake.
So I was like, oh, cool.
That's a good landmark.
It is not a good landmark in Florida.
The whole fucking place is lakes and swamps.
We flew over so many lakes and swamps.
It looked like the guys who were, like, professionals, though,
they took these beelines when they were going from point to point.
It was like, and they would even, like, the way that they,
one guy flew over the water with the lake like he didn't like bisect the lake which would have been the most expedient path but he flew over the water like
cut the edge off and stuff yeah he cut the edge off and they were low too so some people were
flying like nap of the earth like whoo pole popping up, coming down the whole way because they felt like the wind was lighter.
Another guy, if I remember right, discovered a tailwind at like 5,000 feet.
So he's way up there, just like cloud riding, you know, catching thermals and stuff.
There was one guy, Curtis.
I liked him a lot.
I'm going to talk about the other competitors in a second.
But like my paramotor flies for two hours.
That's how long it took me to run out of gas this guy through what i can only assume is black magic flies for
like seven and a half hours at a time his hobby is to make a triangle when he flies like his flight
path and that triangle should be as large as possible and uh that that's like that's what he
likes to do so he took a day you know the first day when I said only two people flew, he didn't fly.
We went to the beach and played with stuff.
And so on day two, he caught up to both of the leaders.
He had motor trouble.
Now, I'm not saying he would have won.
It's really hard because the other two were legit as well.
But he joined them.
He led the race at one point.
And again, leading the race is tricky maybe he
had led with an empty tank and the other guys had just i don't know yeah but um he was in the lead
obviously in the race and he had motor trouble and it would have been neat to see if yeah like
in nascar when you lead a couple like everybody goes into pits to pit and you're like oh just
stay out we need the points yeah so that's how it works you know
you lead a lap you get a point or whatever and like those add up over the course of a season and
you know that's how they keep a race team going plus you get on tv and stuff stay out there get
your point yeah if i'm in 16th and i can lead for a few laps then i might get coverage for my
sponsors the um some of the people in this were like paramotoring royalty. And I was so happy with how nice they were.
You know, like I remember I said we went to the beach.
I just hopped in the car with them
and they were like paragliding off this high wind.
Like basically the sand went up a lot.
And so when the wind blew against it, it went up.
And they were just flying back and forth, you know, paragliding.
I've seen videos of that sort of thing
where, like, in Badley, the guy
is, like, flying a little,
and you're like, wow, look at him. He's, like, 12,
15 feet off the ground. And then it's like,
and it's like, he's 80 feet off
120 at least!
And then you see him just getting,
he's more sideways than he is up
and down, and you just see him getting taken away.
It's like, oh, shit, I don't think he's coming back.
That seems like the riskiest thing ever.
I like these guys' odds, though.
They're very good.
And I was happy they were so nice to me.
I was talking about the wings and stuff that they've tried.
And Matt Maynard in particular, another paramotoring royalty type guy,
all of his stories started with like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was doing this one thing in Cambodia for Red Bull.
Oh, right, right, right. with like yeah yeah yeah i was doing this one thing in cambodia for like red bull or oh right
right right i was working with like ford in nicaragua and we did something else and and he's
been everywhere they just they i don't know he was in a pair of devin super tramp videos um so yeah
like when you need someone to do cool shit oh they he was on a tv series hasn't been released yet but
it was all paramotoring and he's like it went it was a tv series hasn't been released yet but it was all
paramotoring and he's like it went it was going really well and stuff he's like but it's tv so
you need some drama right so there's three people paramotorists in it and he talks with one but not
the other he's like we should totally crash so in paramotoring there's a thing where you fly next to
each other and touch wing tips he's like we do that, but instead of going in the same direction, we should go in opposite directions.
And they do it, and it's just like,
all right. And then they get
a little closer.
Now they're taking half collapses
and fixing it.
They're just trying to
fall on purpose so that they can get a shot
of the light before break.
They're trying to get some drama.
In the show, they're going to be like,
a gust of wind came up, and Jim's shoot has collapsed and then they play the
and there's cameras everywhere there's cameras on their face cameras forward cameras like on
the top cameras pointing at each other and one of the people doesn't even know that they're doing
this and uh so they go and they like touch wingt, and he was going around for the other pass, and all of a sudden he's like, where's Stevie?
Stevie's gone.
Stevie sunk.
But he didn't sink, but he's in the water swimming around or something.
Oh, they dug over the water.
Yeah, they thought ahead.
It's actually better than land.
Kind of.
The other guy didn't know, they got like his genuine reaction as quick
sand to crashing worse so the leading killer in paramotoring is water you'd think it'd be the
ground but uh it's actually water that's the most that's how most people die yeah that makes sense
yeah it does i'm i just i i hung out with a guy who landed in the water and he he pointed out a
danger i didn't really think of.
He had a GoPro on his foot,
but it was all tied in with the laces and really firm and stuff.
And he's like, I was able to get myself out of the paramotor,
like the straps and stuff, in kind of a hurry,
but he was being sort of hung upside down by his GoPro.
And he's like, that was the hardest part of getting free,
unhooking his GoPro.
And you can imagine how those little lines would wrap all in the nooks and crevices. Yeah, you need a knife. And he's like, that was the hardest part of getting free, unhooking his GoPro.
And you can imagine how those little lines would wrap all in the nooks and crevices.
Yeah, you need a knife.
Especially like one of those knives that's like a hook.
You don't have like a big exposed blade.
You've got a thing that you can just grab everything, just holding you back and just get through it.
And with reckless abandon, you know, because you're not going to hurt yourself.
They recommend a hook knife to carry.
One of my bigger issues is I don't know where I'd put it.
Like, I can put a hook knife in my pocket.
Make it like a carabiner.
I would want it fucking right here so I could fucking... You could use the same thing.
They have those things in a...
Like those little tools that you have in your car for when you get in car accidents
where you can cut the seatbelt off of you and break
the window or whatever you're supposed to do.
They probably have something like that for paramotor.
Or maybe that works for paramotoring. Who knows?
I wanted to see...
I always said, we don't need that. I got my window
opener right here because we always have a pistol
in the car. And we were discussing
it and they were like, do you know how loud
a firearm is in a car? And I was like,
you know, I don't. We should should find out and so we got in the car and i was like yeah let's just pretend like we're being
submerged and i went hey and just shot the fucking wind it's so loud yeah so you were in a junk car
i was thinking is like if you're in the middle of a car and like you're going down and there's
water rising you can see the bubble and it's starting to come in
through your AC
the last thing you want to do is be
discombobulated and deaf as you try
and seize everybody
it was more like
it was a shock to the system
but I wanted to know
I want to say Archer was kind of out of it
for a little bit, are you suggesting that cartoon
isn't realistic
I love that they repeat that he's like it's really bad for your ears I want to say Archer was kind of out of it for a little bit. Are you suggesting that cartoon isn't realistic?
Yes.
I love that they repeat that.
He's like, it's really bad for your ears.
Or like when somebody gets choked unconscious and they let them sleep.
He's like, oh, that's really bad for you.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
Now he actually says to the bad guys, he's always like, but in all seriousness, I'm sorry.
That's like the one thing he has empathy for. It's the one thing that affects him because he's a sociopath he has an ability to uh to count bullets
right something like that like six people shooting all at the same time maybe fully auto and he's
like yeah yeah that guy got three bullets left how do you do that how do you not do that like didn't in one episode didn't he be didn't he say
like or lana was like how did you know that he's like i don't know i think i'm autistic or something
and then he just never addresses it again
i love in that show the continued mystery of um if the new season's out, I don't know because I haven't watched it, but
the mystery of what time era it is
because they never commit
to whether it's the 50s and 60s
or modern day
because they jump around.
It's an amalgam of them all. They made their own timeline
because there are cell phones, I'm pretty sure.
But then you got a lot of
stuff that feels like Scarface Miami
sort of like late 70s early
80s kind of stuff but then you got burt reynolds in there uh you know and there's a lot of like
things you can use to try to nail down exactly when it is and they start conflicting with one
another after after you do it for long enough so it's they've created their their own timeline
that's just a mixture of all they even. They even took an amorphous...
God, what was the actor you just said? I'm sorry.
Burt Reynolds.
They even took a weird timeline of Burt Reynolds
where it was like,
that could be him when he's younger,
but there's a little bit of gray in the weird
Archer animation style there.
How fucking old is he?
How old are any of these people?
Is Archer 42,
a grizzled vet who just wants to do his own thing or is he 29 you know like i think the show was supposedly like
in the 80s or something like that but and that uh it seems like archer's mom was around for like
cold war stuff you know she was like doing stuff in in east and west berlin and stuff like like all
kind of covert shit so yeah that's what i've always there's no answer so that's it there
there's a um fandom page and uh dude this is so impressive i like the quote what year is it
right like that's how they but um right, so at one point they say that –
they mention an alligator attack that happened two years earlier.
That alligator attack in real life took place in 89, making the show in 1991.
However, they go through this thing like Woodhouse has a tontine from Bloody April that's now worth a million.
He said they invested 1,200 pounds. That would equate to $5,712 in 1917 at assumed 10% interest rates that take 54.19 years to become worth a million dollars, placing it in 1971.
And it goes on.
There's a couple of those.
They referenced the danger zone, which was 1986, et cetera, et cetera.
In the end, they say the bulk of the evidence points to it simultaneously being 1973 and 2016.
It's just baffling
to me. Think about if we took
all these people and
all the folks who find Shia
LaBeouf's flag and we get them
in the room and we just weaponize
that autism. I'm not joking.
I'm saying all we do
is just very little direction.
We just point them in a direction.
Just say, hey, there you go.
Maybe some pedophiles in Connecticut running a ring.
Maybe not.
Figure it out.
And they'll just, that autism will take hold.
It's weaponized, and it will find the answers we need to find.
Think of how quickly ISIS would be found if everybody in the CIA wasn't just doing their job waiting to go home if they
were like 4chan folks on there like feverishly trying to find it just so they could one-up their
fellow agents for not even imaginary internet points for nothing for a while like I don't know
I just I don't does everyone know the Shia LaBeouf flag thing so for people who don't know the Shia
LaBeouf had the uh he will not divide us uh skits
or not skit presentation whatever that he was going to have going for the full four years it
started out just ground level with a camera in a wall and them standing there yelling he will not
divide us making everyone uncomfortable uh spraying a lot of vinegar very little honey it's an anti
trump thing very anti-trump thing. Very anti-Trump.
And people just kept showing up and they would stand next to Shia LaBeouf
and like take off their coat
and show like a Pepe shirt, the frog meme,
or like they just do all stuff like that
until Shia LaBeouf moved it and hid the flag somewhere
and pointed up a camera
so that nobody could see exactly where it was.
Yeah, like an upward angle.
You don't see any background, no landmarks.
You don't know where it is.
And then people were like,
oh, he was spotted this afternoon in New Orleans.
And they're like, well, let's look at flight paths
and things around there in Tennessee or whatever it was.
And they find this fucking flag.
Shia LaBeouf, I guarantee, loses it in private.
Loses it because he's already dangerously mad.
And then he put the flag on a different building on the top, even more sneaky.
Didn't let anybody know.
And they found that.
Same day.
And apparently someone went up there on the roof and was, like, posting on 4chan at the same time.
Like, what should I do with it?
It's just so funny knowing that, like, there are people out it was just like, it's just so funny knowing that like, there are people out there that like, it's just fucking funny.
That they're finding Shia LaBeouf.
The fact that they're like being hurt.
A plane went over this flag at 1216, you know, on a Tuesday.
Where were flights at 1216?
Like that limits it doesn't cut much down, but yeah.
Yeah.
These are the kind of pranks I like.
Not the catch this backpack. That might be a bomb, idiot.
I don't know, I kind of like that too.
That's a little bit funny.
That particular one, I don't know.
But these ones are better because nobody's being hurt,
and everybody can laugh at it.
Because even if you hate Trump more than anything,
anyone can look at Shia LaBeouf, this maniac,
that you have to feel sorry for because he used to
be uh even stevens and that was a good show as a kid i liked him in that and so it is sad to see
how far he's gone but like it's just madness like why keep setting yourself up for failure they're
gonna keep finding these flags idiot like you could put it on the moon and some why not point
the camera down like in a well like well like i just pictured in the ground
get an aerial shot of the camera so there's nothing but like flag and field and it just
seems like there's really not a lot there would be some sort of soil analyst is that he wants those
people he wants you on camera in front of the flag like yelling your whatever the fuck anti-trump
stuff so like if he's up there
then you can't really see the people you know they're like yeah we hate trump too no am i wrong
i'm thinking but you put the camera like you know 15 feet up shining down toward the flag and then
it would get the people too that you could even get like uh you know 50 yards around the flag
you honestly could do that and that makes a lot more sense than what they're doing
if they're trying to make it so you'd almost have to pick, like,
concrete or some indistinct ground
because there's someone out there who's like,
hey, I'm a geologist,
and this kind of clay only occurs in southern Virginia.
Oh, that's Portland cement. Recognized it right away.
Like Boogie on last week's show, right? He was yeah the dirt is this color that color something it's red where he
is now yeah um you know there are people like i also sometimes see stuff and i'm like i can't say
that's north carolina but that's my like you know they just i know by the height of the trees the
look of that dirt that it's this part of the country and not anywhere else in the world.
When you go down to Florida, those trees have a very distinct look.
You start seeing a certain kind of moss that doesn't grow north of a certain level.
You start seeing things that are just Florida.
The land's a lot flatter.
The soil's a lot sandier.
It seems like there's a lot of pine trees and not as much deciduous stuff down there.
But then you get to where I am, and it's a lot of rolling hills and just as many pines as it is, deciduous stuff.
And it gets more rocky and mountainous.
And the dirt's red.
It's that red clay.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
I don't know.
It was a super good weekend.
That's good.
I'm glad you had fun yeah i'm
really glad i did it um i got a new wing that's like oh yeah is it the gray one a new wing no
is that uh which part is the wing of it so it's the the fabric part of me canopy part up there
yeah yeah yeah you it it's okay to call it a glider or a wing. Most other things are considered wrong.
I called it a kite when I was learning because kiting it is – anyway, that's wrong too.
Why don't you just like scream like, I'm on the rag or like whatever you call it.
Do they have like chirps in paramotoring?
No, but I think I could get that cooking.
I think I could start that.
You need to talk shit as you're flying over people.
What you should have been doing you know what i bet one thing you
wish you could go back and do is during the race tell past woody hey stop circling around for this
bitch and hightail it you're gonna conquer this race and you're gonna have the trophy halfway
back home by the time she lands in terms of chirps like we do radio checks like hey can you hear me
like ah there's something wrong you sound like a faggot yeah that's as much as i do what's the weather like
back there but uh i have a new wing i'm still getting used to it's way too early to do a review
but like so when you first launch there's something called the inflation where you kind of pull on the
risers and it comes above your head right it goes from laying on the ground to above you i thought i was uncommonly
good at the inflation part of launching because i pretty much never fuck it up um now i have a
more advanced wing and i realize i think my first wing was uncommonly good at being inflated because
i uh it took me three tries to get in the air. But anyway, I'll get better and I'll learn to use this advanced
wing and it'll be fun. I watched a movie last night. I watched
that Mark Wahlberg movie Patriot's Day. It's about the
Boston bombing. It's really good.
John Goodman is in there. Skinny John Goodman, which looks
really good. Now he looks kind of big and more intimidating and less huge and fat.
And he looks healthy, like maybe he'll live another 15 or 20 years.
I hope so. He's great.
Excellent.
Kevin Bacon's in there.
He's some sort of FBI official running the thing.
And then Mark Wahlberg is like a police sergeant who's there on the finish line when the bombs go off,
and he's kind of a part of the story throughout.
But they move around from character to character,
and if you're really familiar with the Boston bombing, and I am,
because I followed that thing from start to finish really closely.
I was listening to the police scanners live the night that the MIT officer got shot,
and they were running around looking for him.
You could hear the Boston PD talking about coffee runs
and where to rendezvous.
And no, no donuts, just coffee.
Stuff like that was coming over the airwaves or whatever, the radio.
And the movie is excellent.
They use a lot of footage from real life.
I printed it maybe from amazon
or something for like six bucks something like that i wasn't sure if it was netflix it looks good
yeah oh it's really really good um that they use so much real footage that it i mean you can't get
around the gore and uh the violence of it because they you know they show a lot of the victims uh
you know legs blown off.
Oh, yeah, there's that picture of Boston bombing
where the guy's in the wheelchair getting wheeled away.
And the guy's holding his femoral artery.
I don't know what a – he's holding a vein or an artery or something.
It was where the guy's leg is blown off almost like if you –
the peel-em Twizzlers or whatever.
If you just peeled the bottom inch ofizzlers or whatever like if you just like
peeled like the bottom inch of like one of the big ones like that's all that it looks like like
it's almost so like you know when you see gore in a movie and it's like that's not what a fucking
head would look like if it got crushed or that's not what it would look like if someone arm get
ripped off if you see this now you're like oh shit like that kind of is what it looks like if
somebody gets their leg blown off it's just little tendrils of
flesh dangling down above the bone it's like i don't know it's it's really sobering to be like
we are all just soft bags that can be ruined by such easy like even the toughest human on earth
we're just a soft bag of brittle bones it's so weak so easily broken something along those lines
it's called taking fire you guys familiar with it?
No.
So it's basically a guy.
I think he's just born to be a vlogger, but he's in the Afghanistan war.
He's part of the 101st Airborne, the same as Band of Brothers,
but they're in Afghanistan.
And he just, like, wears a GoPro, and he's in all these firefights
and, like, terrible stuff happens. he just like wears a GoPro and he's in all these firefights and like terrible
stuff happens. You know, it's, it's not,
it's not a reenactment or anything. They just,
they took all this footage and then like put it together to sort of tell a
story. So it's edited and it's like kind of professionally done,
but the footage is all amateur shot and like, you know,
they run across IEDs to die one seriously hurt and you see like
i don't know that the top guys seem to be a sergeant or something and he's arguing about
whether to drive people out or medevac them out and um one thing that really hit home was how
mentally damaged the people were that sounds like a term of disparagement, but it's not meant to be.
They're mentally wounded.
They have unseen wounds.
They were just
not the same people.
They talk about the struggles they have in their marriage.
They talk about
these guys.
I'm not a military person,
but it appears that they took this base,
it was pretty well fortified and
put it in a valley so for like a year the all these taliban guys would just shoot oh i've seen
this yeah is it called taking fire it's i thought there was a i thought part of the title was like
the name of the valley they were thinking of restrepo maybe i am thinking of Restrepo maybe I am thinking of Restrepo this is a this is like five hour long
uh like it's a series it's like a mini series and um dude Restrepo even seemed a little more
polished and this is just guys like you could see towards the end um like some of them get
careless and some of them get ultra I don't know what the opposite of careless is cautious
yeah but in a negative way almost you know like paranoid you know they're driving and there's
like women and children with goats and stuff on the road and he is flipping his lid like
get the yeah what the are you why do you why do these people think they could be near me at
military vehicles this and that?
And other guys are like, whoa, chill, dude.
Like, you are strung way too tight.
Yeah, those guys have never seen a goat bomb in action.
I hear you.
How do you detonate that thing?
I would, like, I'm so...
I cannot reach the detonator.
This is an American goat bomb.
I can't reach it.
Put it in the top hole. Tyrone, help me.
Help me.
Nothing but the one.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm so
on a, just naturally, I'm on a high
level of stress.
It stresses me out.
Yeah, I think I'm just wired that way so i i
if i superimpose myself into that position i know a thousand percent that i would be the dude like
what the fuck are you doing with your goats get him out of here get your fucking goats out of here
i would not want some women and some goats around my fucking vehicle if i were there like like like
i don't know those women i don't know those goats all right you got one minute to get rid of your 10 goats you got 55
seconds to get rid of your nine goats you got 50 seconds to get oh they're getting the picture
you know oh i shot the one full of bombs like yeah i wouldn't it would be freaky because you
know that like it's not like the children are maliciously going to bomb you.
But they will be – not the children.
They're not maliciously doing it.
They've been bamboozled and tricked into it and forced to do it a lot of ways.
I'm sure they're evil children.
I was talking more like children, like actual young, like 5'6", because they've used – like the Taliban, al-Qaeda, ISIS, they use young kids like that unknowingly being like hey go talk to
soldiers or something and then they just blow them up like so you got to understand that paranoia
it's totally so there was one guy his name was kyle something and uh he was in the front of the
truck and part of his responsibilities was to spot ieds he didn't two people died and he got hurt
they didn't detail his injuries but i know he had to relearn
to walk and when you see him walk his gait was off like the way he learned too well and and when
he um at the end the soldiers met each other and he always hugged with one arm but i saw him use
the other arm so let's just call it he had limited use right pretty hurt right he's not walking normally and he has one arm that doesn't work well um dude first of
all they didn't like as you're watching this you don't know but uh afterwards they went back and
like looked at the ied carefully unspottable i mean it was like a fishing line dusted with dirt
and stuff like it was it was not a thing that you perfect one yeah that was my
question yeah he did not do a bad job is there a big red acme box over there like like a guy
standing with a plunger with and another guy with his fingers and that guy's ears there was one thing
kind of sort of there are rock slides everywhere right rocks apparently rock slides are mega
normal where they are well there was a rock slide next to the ied so it kind of increased the chances they would drive on it maybe a perfect
person would have been diligent or maybe you can't be diligent at every flip and rock slide
next to this road i don't know but um it was really messing with his head because two people
died and he held himself super responsible for it he had the survivor's guilt and and um the other people
didn't know that he was suffering like that because he went home he was too injured and uh
you saw him learn and get some relief from the knowledge that it it you know he didn't fuck up
and uh i bet that was cool yeah oh dude taking fire let me do yeah yeah taking fire it's deep now i finally got
around to watching um some deep things i guess the the first part of made in america the oj
simpson story so i saw the drama that had you know um actors portraying oj and everybody but
but there's a documentary that that begins, like, talking about the civil rights
movement, and they sort of, like, give you an idea of what the atmosphere was. They talk about O.J.'s
sports career, like, beginning at college and going all the way up, and they, like, you know,
they show that this guy's more popular than Muhammad Ali or any of the other black athletes
of his day, because those guys took hard-line st on race and you know there's there's those runners at the olympics with the the raised fists and stuff
and the black panthers and the black power movement and you had oj being like i'm not black
i'm oj and uh and he said that repeatedly and there's one part in the and where they
they tell a story about a thing that happened and oj's in a restaurant with some other black guys and someone audibly says
that's oj simpson over there with those niggers and uh and uh someone's asked oj's like doesn't
that fan to you doesn't that isn't that terrible he's like oh no don't you see they didn't even
think of me as a black person they just saw oj and like like time and time again time and time again you you get that realize i'm
black that's what it was i swear to god that's what it was and oj had that in his head and it
became real and every step of the way when they show anytime he'd get into a little spot of
trouble or anytime he had an opportunity he got it or got out of it because he's OJ. He's not black. He's not white. He's just OJ.
He's a professional athlete, yeah. He'd be orange, right?
He's OJ.
Okay, never mind.
Just OJ.
But anyway, this thing is like
three hours long, and it's part one.
Part one was three hours long, and it just gets you
up into the point where
Nicole Brown Simpson
divorces him for reals.
But they go through all of his abuse of her up leading to that
and the police reports.
They've got the cop in the thing.
He's like, yeah, I drove up to the gate.
She runs out in a bra and sweatpants.
He's going to kill me.
She hugs me.
I tell him, you're under arrest.
Go inside and get your pants on.
He gets in his car and leaves.
And that was the end of it pretty much. under arrest go inside and get your pants on he gets in his car and leaves and leaves and and and
that was the end of it pretty much you know uh they didn't if you did that woody he'd been like
we got a runner you know yeah yeah he cars chasing you through a city like they'd have had a SWAT
team involved no he the juice left and they're like well hey he's fast it's hard to catch yeah
it's kind of his thing.
He ran over 2,000 yards in a single season.
And they had lots of moments that made him seem like such a gracious, kind person.
You know, whenever he finished up that season with the Bills,
and he had broken the single-season rushing record, I think, like 2,000 yards,
he bought everybody on the offense a gold bracelet that said we did it and then the
number isn't 2000 it's 3336 which is what the team rushed for that year and and so like like
and and like when they go to interview and post game right after he breaks both of these records
um he's like no no only way i do the interview is if the whole offense comes in with me and like
they're like oj you did it you did it he's like we did it let me introduce you to my team and he's like he goes through the whole team and
it's like all these moments have seemed like such a great guy and then you boil it down and it's
like oh yeah but he just beat the shit out of nicole and like pr he made a good youtuber i think
they even nailed like i think they even nailed why he was an abuser and why he had that temper.
His father was gay.
I've never known that before.
And they've got multiple witnesses that explain that.
His father is gay.
His father is gay.
I don't think that makes you an abuser.
OJ didn't like that very much.
And once while they were in Hawaii, a homosexual man, I don't remember if he kissed OJ's son or put his hand around him in some sort of like, oh, hey, little man kind of way. OJ's son or his dad kissed OJ's son or put it or like put his hand around him and some sort of like
Oh, hey little man kind of way son or his dad OJ's son
This happened to OJ's son while they're in Hawaii
OJ beat the fuck out of Nicole because she let that homosexual get too close to his son
He had a real thing about that and Nicole asked a
Family friend who was a cop who knew about abuse?
He's like do you think that the reason oj beats
me is because his dad is gay could that be it and he's like i don't know why you know oj just
loves beating you he just yeah that's oj did you hear the thing about oj and the kardashians and
how he's chloe kardashian's father so really oh is that a? Or did you make that up? That's a thing.
Here's the one that I know.
So,
um,
which one's Chloe?
The one that looks like a fullback,
the Buffalo bills barely lost a game in 1970 by missing a bad pass for a
touchdown.
That touchdown allowed them to get the first pick in the draft.
OJ Simpson,
OJ stays in Buffalo for a while and meets his wife,
and then he allegedly kills her.
Then he hires the Kardashians' father to be his lawyer.
They win the case, and the Kardashians become somewhat famous,
and then Kim drops the sex tape and becomes actually famous.
It all went down because the Buffalo Bills lost a game.
That's not true. He met her in la she was a
waitress not according to the internet i choose to believe the internet yes she was a beach girl
her whole family lived in la um you know that that was one of the reasons she stayed with us
because oj was propping up her whole family he was she was everybody was getting jobs and
opportunities because of because of uh oj what do we have here is your
outfit a graduate is there anything special about it like uh like ropes and other people don't have
dangling i get my core indigenous like right before graduation all right so this this is the
this is the slacker uniform she'll be getting her cords and achievements later all right everybody
gets one of those yeah that's the stock one they give one of those to fucking Jimmy and three cords I think
that's a little gaudy maybe stick with two. It is. Nobody likes a bragger.
You should have told me that a couple years ago.
I told you guys about the guy
that I went to middle school with
that instead of getting...
that he got a participation
trophy for middle school.
Did I tell you that?
When I was in middle school,
one of my buddies, Joe i i knew the whole time
in middle school that he was doing shit in school and he didn't care he didn't give a fuck and that
always baffled me because i was so anal about stressing out over that shit even though something
didn't matter in school and he got we went through the whole thing eighth grade graduation before high
school and you get your little bs you know you graduated middle school woohoo the plaque and i got mine that said
congratulations on graduating middle school woohoo and right afterward we were all standing in our
little group of friends talking and joe came over and was like hey look what they gave me
he handed it to me and it was they're all in that little booklet you know where you open it up and
you see your thing your little certificate and he opened his up and it had the exact same font so they
still had to get it printed at whatever fucking bingo's they used and it just said thank you for
participating in eighth grade and then his name and it was like oh my god like that is so much
meaner than just not letting him walk. Making him walk and then giving him that
and saying, if you want to start high school next year,
we'll see you tomorrow.
That's our graduates for 1994.
And now, Jimmy, who tried real hard.
Our best effort diploma goes to you, Jimmy.
If they had a best effort one, they wouldn't have given it to them.
They would have been like, they don't print, uh, try harder next time.
They only print thanks for trying.
And so that's what we gave you.
Don't think we mean it.
We don't.
You didn't try.
And you didn't fool us.
Like that.
Oh, that was, that was so funny.
But that's something that's like, I don't know.
That's something that's... What?
Ninth grade?
Did he move on to high school?
Yeah.
He had to do an obscene amount of schoolwork that summer.
And then ended up...
And it was so stupid.
I was glad that that happened to some people.
Because he was not the only person that happened to that year.
I don't know if I ever told my summer school story.
We should save it for PKA.
But yeah. Save it? Yeah. I went to summer school story We should save it for PKA Save it?
I went to summer school
I'll need to think about it
I never had to do summer school
Of course not
I did one class
I had failed A class
Let's save it
I actually want to save that too
Make a note of that.
Mine was so-so.
I like the, instead of it interrupting or pinning it,
I thought that worked well.
And then when you're like, yeah, Kyle took the pin out.
Yeah.
Yes, I like that too.
So let's put a pin in the school stuff.
I'm going to try it.
No good summer school stories, but I'll think of a summer camp
story or something. We'll have a thematic
episode. Which you smart kids did.
I definitely have a
space camp. Let's call it a show.
Yeah.
Alright, PKN, episode 137.
Good times.