Painkiller Already - PKN #138

Episode Date: April 14, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

PKN episode 138. It's like a little test before of like strength. I've had girlfriends, I've been like, try to drag me. Like no, pretend like right now as I lay in this bed that I've been knocked unconscious or I've succumbed to the fumes or the smoke or whatever has happened and you've got to get me out of here in the next 10 minutes or I fucking die. Go. Go.

got to get me out of here in the next 10 minutes or i fucking die go she cannot move me an inch not an inch with all her might on what she picks up my foot and she's like even your leg is heavy just you're totally right it's it's shocking because like and you know when you're i can grab her by like and like a caveman turn around and walk in the opposite direction like dragging her yeah you could do it easily and you would get her out of that flaming house you'd get her safely on the side of the road it's almost disturbing because like woody has said so many times people are surprised like you've even told hope which is a wonderful thing to tell your daughter like don't ever think like i can take that guy because you can't like i thought for the longest time like you know when you're with a girl

whatever and you're joking around you just go limp on top of her like you would a child almost. And you just go fully limp just like that. And you just are like, move me, move me. And for a while I was always like, oh, these girls are just joking around. They could move me off if they wanted to. But then eventually you're like, they'll be like, I can't. And it's like, are you fucking kidding me? Are you trying or are you that weak?

It's like, oh, my God, like you really are. If this place caught on fire right now or if someone ever snuck in when we were fucking and hit me with a hammer on the back of the head and I fell on top of you, all you could do is scream and watch him steal my electronics as he left. Two for one. As he left. Two for one. And then you watch those like female firefighter videos and you're like, I want to be one of those people who's just like, whatever, man, if you can do it, you can do it. But you fucking can't. You're not able to.

And it's different kinds of strength, too, because I did I dated a girl who was Filipino. But I think if it's a girl, she's Filipina. In any case, she's Filipino. and she was short in stature, but her lower body was very powerful. And I could totally hop on her back piggyback style in a parking lot, and she'd fucking truck me all the way to the car. And it wouldn't

be like this sort of labored, every step is the world kind of atlas. So i'm just strong man competition when they're doing the farmer's carry and it's just like come on and then she just run to the car uh but but i don't know that she could drag me out of a bed either because because because of just the grabbing and pulling strength may be needed i just don't think it could happen my parents were oddly open with their sex life. Yeah. So take that. Store it away. They were telling me of a simulated rape they did.

And they were surprised by how easily my father could, if he wanted to, rape my mother. She had this notion in her head, like, oh, I could stop it. You just keep your knees together or whatever. And he just, whatever, like, pried in there with his own legs. Split them open. He broke her guard. Yeah. Split her open.

And she was like, oh noted i am defenseless against a man if if he wanted to do that have you ever done the thing where just kind of for fun you take like with a girlfriend or whatever you take both of their hands at the wrists and you put them together and then you just grab like this put one wrist here one wrist here and you just lock and then they're just like stop and it's like no come on you can get out of this and you almost start rooting them on like you would a kid like come on don't let life beat you down you got it you get out of this one hand grip i don't think i could do that to jackie last time when we were in colorado that I submitted her with my toe.

Because I do that thing with my big toe where I pitch really hard. I can do that. Yeah. And I got her in such a way that her arm was pinned and she couldn't get her other arm from beneath her body. And I was like, I got you. And it was just my toe, just my foot. And I'm holding her down. She's like, I'm pinned. I'm pinned i'm pinned in her in her defense if you

and i were fighting and i felt your fucking toes pinch in the back of my arm i would probably tap and be like the fuck are you doing maniac with your fucking monkey toes see before taylor said that i was going to say part of it is attitude like and i say so i was on a swim team right and all the guys like lived and breathed swimming, competitive swimming, you know, looking for an edge, killing themselves every practice, etc. Like 80% of the girls, it was partly social for them. They were just kind of on a swim team. You know, they raced and stuff, but whatevs. There were only 20% who had a guy's attitude towards, this is my sense of self-worth wrapped up in my achievements here.

And they probably dominated. They did, yeah. Those were the all-Americans, yeah. And so I think back to getting submitted with toes. I think there might be, I think most guys would be like, yeah, that's not a hold that works you know like break it or something i don't think kyle could submit me with his toes just because of course not because like i wouldn't quit there a little i don't think kyle could submit his girlfriend

with his toes i think she quits too easily maybe that could be but it's also the thing of like if brock lesnar and i were fighting and he has the same kind of toe dexterity that if he caught me with a little one there i would still tap because i'd be like this fucker's giving me a real pinchy bruise from his toes and he's way bigger and stronger i'm not going to even go any further yeah brock lesnar is pettidextrous as i am and let's irous. I invented that, yeah. It works. Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, pedidextrous. I like that. And let's say he has a hangnail on his big toe, he could kill you. That's a pedophile. He could kill you right there. Because the thing about Brock... He wraps it around, just cuts the thing.

If Brock has me in a, we'll call it a toehold, even though that's already a thing, but if Brock has me in a... Reverse toehold. If Brock has me in a new wave toehold, I have to make a decision whether I really want him to go to his second move. You know, I might just be like, ah, fuck it, I tap.

You know? You got me. Yeah, you got me. Because if you don't have me, you're just going to. And if he sees the box score and sees that you were submitted to a toe hold, they're like, yeah, well, you got to tap to that. You got to tap. You're going to need to blow it up.

Right, right. After that comes the nose remover and so obviously you tap out yeah dude kyle you're a fan has 2017 sucked yeah it's been super boring i mean it's april now especially with the the habib fight falling apart and then like the aftermath of that and seeing that there's this limbo with connor out there and then GSP coming back, but he's going to fight fucking Bisping. And we know that he really just wants – everybody just wants to fight Connor. Everybody. For me representing the people who don't know anything about this,

so there haven't been any great fights so far this year. You guys were all excited about Mayweather and McGregor a while back. All this hype. It happens, but it's a work while back. It's a work in art. It's a work in progress. There's nothing developing. It could be next year. It could never happen.

Mayweather's known for dragging out fights. Patio was the big money fight and eventually happened. I don't want to exaggerate, but I think it was five or eight years in the making. Eight, he says. Yeah, yeah. Was that the only time they fought? Or had they fought before?

They just fought once. Wait till Pacquiao got old. That's what he did. But this isn't going to work this time because Conor McGregor's like 28 years old or whatever and Mayweather's the one who got old. Oh, man. He waited eight years to fight Pacquiao, basically being like, you know, oh, yeah, I can take him.

How old is he? He's 27. Okay, I'll take him in eight years. Yeah, I'll take him. Like, that seems like, does everybody in the fighting community look at that with derision? Like, we know what you did. You waited until you thought you knew you could dominate. They're disappointed.

Everybody seems to be dodging that. Just like everybody thinks that Tyson back in the day was ducking Holyfield when he came back. Or Foreman. Foreman. Whenever Foreman came back at like 43 years old and at like 300 pounds. And everybody's like, oh, and the walking joke George Foreman comes in. Why don't you make this up? Oh, my God.

He killed him. Oh, well, I guess Foreman's back now. They were about to start making fun of this guy and tell him to make their hamburgers for him and then he came in there started knocking young guys out again and tyson didn't want that fight i didn't even know foreman fought again after the grill yes he fought he's come back three times like like there was like just a couple years ago and foreman's like 50s 60s i saw him uh doing doing ads for invent tech on hulu recently but he was like i've had another revelation the lord jesus christ has talked to me again wants me to be the world champ again he's like 50 or something and he's out there chopping trees again like i'm like all right

we're i'm not buying in this time george it's not 1993 all right yeah back to mma what I feel like has happened is the whole all of MMA is stymied a bit by the chase of the money that comes along with a Conor McGregor fight all of a sudden it's like holy shit if you fight Conor McGregor then you get paid and not you know 8, 10,

15 times what we normally get paid it's a huge raise to go fight this guy and now you're on the next level. Now maybe you're the guy that other people want to fight so they can get to the next level. It's a big deal. So you got Nate Diaz. What's he doing right now? He wants to fight Conor McGregor again.

He wants the trilogy to be completed. You got GSB coming back out of nowhere. And he's like, I'll fight Michael Bisping for the title. And they're like, yeah, yeah, that's cool. Even though there's plenty of guys waiting in line. He wants Conor McGregor, too. That's what he wants. That's what he wants.

That's the big money fight. That's what everybody in the sport wants. You even got Cody Garbrandt. He's like a weight class below. He's like, I'm going to be the fucking three belt champ. He's my favorite fighter right now, by the way. Him and Yair Rodriguez. I like Cody Garbrandt and Yair.

They're both really flashy. Great choices, yeah. Real Yair Rodriguez. I like Cody Garbrandt and Yair. They're both really flashy. Great choices. I like Conor a lot. It's almost uncool to say you're a Conor McGregor fan. I am too, of course. He's not fighting right now. I'm a Conor McGregor fan. Because

there's a lot of new fans who like Conor. I started UFC at UFC 1. That's when I started watching it. i feel like i'm gonna like anyone anyone i want but uh khabib and ferguson was a really exciting fight that fell through and ferguson did something i don't like he said you know like like they tried to get him replacement fighters and he's like fuck it nope i was prepared for khabib i won't fight that's my person less money and no title you know he made even less money by not fighting at all. They didn't give him his show money either.

They didn't give him all his show money. And the way he's... Give him a fraction of his show money. Yeah. So for people that don't know, here's how it works. If you make weight, you typically get paid your show money. That's usually half of it. And if you win, you get the other half.

So a contract might be like $100 100 grand for a big guy like this. 100 grand a show and 100 grand a win. And his contract had like a special, this was like a one-off sort of deal. Like, oh, this is a super fight that people are really excited about. So you're going to get like 200 grand a show. And I don't know, 200 grand a win. I'm making up numbers. But the concept is right.

and I don't know, 200 grand to win. I'm making up numbers, but the concept is right. And when his opponent didn't go, he didn't get the super show money, but his contract said that. Like, it wasn't like Dana just changed the rules afterwards. And they talked to him, and they're like, look, when they said, look, Khabib is out,

this is the impact, your show money is going to be this, like your normal show money, not your super show money. And you can fight this other guy and you can do all this other stuff. And he just said no. And then he went on Twitter afterwards and was like, I didn't get all my show money. Dude, you got what the contract said you'd get. That's how this works.

But offering him Michael Johnson with no interim title and why would he take that? You can't. Khabib just took Michael Johnson apart a few months before. If you lose to Michael Johnson, then holy fucking shit. Maybe you didn't have what it took to get in there with Khabib anyway. I hear you.

If you beat him, then that's kind of a foregone conclusion. You're sure supposed to beat him. It's less money. It's not what he was there for. Conor would do it. He had Conor where he would just say, he's just a man. And he'd go back to sleep. He does it all the time. He was supposed to fight

Jose Aldo and he took Chad Mendes. He was supposed to fight Junior Dos Anjos and he took Nick Diaz. I'm sorry, Nate Diaz. How is this in UFC? When you say something like, He was supposed to fight Junior Dos Anjos, and he took Nick Diaz. I'm sorry, Nate Diaz. Why do they allow this in UFC? When you say something like, he was supposed to fight Stevie Fast Hands, and then he ended up fighting

Frankie Shamrock or whatever. Does that mean that that dude who was getting in the fight decided, nah, I'm going to go with this guy. It's usually an seems really oh okay but so they're not just saying actually no they're they're falling out well or not they're not making weight my only point is you can injury sometimes sometimes they'll manufacture an injury or an

they'll break they'll break a hand they'll get a bad cut in sparring and you can't go in like that they'll they'll they'll have some sort of kidney failure from the weight cut they won't make their weight sometimes they're so far away they know that by making it they'll be in shit shape and they won't be able to fight fight but it's never like nah change my mind but okay so when a fighter can't make a fight there's sometimes there's a want to wrapped up in that, right? Like Jose Aldo, he was a brilliant 145 pound champion for a long time, pulled out of like half of his fights. And the thing is, if he had an injury that another guy might have fought with, he'd be like, nope, I fight 100 percent. Fuck off. And he got knocked.

He pulled out of like five title fights or something like that, which is why he was like a 10-year champ. He only fought when he was the best version of him. Conor, on the other hand, like Kyle and I went and saw him fight in Boston. The guy had a torn ACL in that fight. When he fought against whoever Cole Miller replaced, I don't recall. I think it was Seaver. I forget. But anyway, when he fought, he couldn't move his thumb.

He's like, you don't need a thumb to fight. I his thumb he's like you don't need a thumb to fight i'm fine right no you don't need a thumb to fight and like connor goes in there and fights and you're wrestling yeah like you know like i think i'll choke him when dos anillos pulled out with either a broken rib or sore rib people disagree i think might have been a foot whatever it was um aldo pulled out with the rib, Agnos with the foot, and Conor's like, I was more injured than both of those people for those fights, and I went and took a replacement. You've got a good point there. But I think that this is somewhat different because they're both chasing after Con connor who's fucking making it real hard

to catch him you know he doesn't want to get caught you know and they're like i've gotten to here and it you know dana doesn't want me to fight connor connor doesn't want me to fight connor if i fucking lose then i go all the way back down here and the ufc is not a fair game there's no guarantee that once i get back up here that i'll even get the fucking fight and if i do get back down here and the UFC is not a fair game. There's no guarantee that once I get back up here that I'll even get the fucking fight. And if I do get back up here, Conor might be gone. He might be a goddamn professional boxer now, you know, like, or a movie star or retired or in the WWE, you know, I want him now. I can't take this chance of going to fight Michael Johnson, who got his ass embarrassed last time he was out against the guy I'm supposed to be here fighting and proving myself against, I can't take that

chance. And I'm certainly not going to take it for less money and with less on the line. Sure, if you say this is for the interim title, and if Michael Johnson beats me, he gets the interim, and then he faces Conor, then yeah, you do that. But you can't have your cake and eat it too, UFC. You can't get your money today out of me, and if I lose, throw me away like yesterday's trash. It's one or the other. You can't have your cake and eat it too UFC you can't you can't get your money today out of me and if I lose throw me away like yesterday's trash like it's one or the other like you can't have your cake and eat it too I like what he did that's what I'd have done too I'm there to fight this one guy and then I get my life's aspiration which is to fight for the fight the biggest guy on the biggest stage for

the biggest amount of money which is what a Connor I don't like what he did i understand it but i feel like if you are the man right and they offer you like the 11th best ranked fighter then you're like what yeah fuck i'll take it give me an easy he's not 11th he was seven okay seventh right if you think you're the champion and the seventh best guy comes along on short notice you're like yeah it's probably like three minutes for a guy like me. But we know MMA, right? Like, this isn't like collegiate wrestling where if you're number one and he's number seven, whoo, you're about to get

thrown. This isn't professional boxing where you're number one and number seven, you're not going to talk right anymore after this. It's MMA, and it's just such little things in the whole fucking fight. One blow, one strike, one feint.

That's the point. That's why, arguably, it's more impressive to be a champion in the UFC than boxing. I don't know shit about boxing. I have no idea. I think the championships are about the final word. Correct me if I'm wrong about the UFC, but

part of the reason I can't get into it as much other than I'm just liking the team sports more is for hockey, NBA, NFL, every year there's a fucking schedule. It's like, all right, on the 5th, we play the Patriots. On the 12th, we play the Jaguars, whatever. And it's not like you can be like, yeah, you know what? Actually, we're not going to play the Colts this week. Brady's not feeling hot. We're not the best version of ourselves. But it holds you to a structure.

If you lose six games in a row, sucks to suck, but you have to play that seventh game. With UFC and these single fighter sports, it seems almost like the guy fighting and his team has control of like, all right, we're going to have this fight, and then we're going to have this, and then we're going to have that. Oh, no, he's doing real good now.

We're not going to schedule that one. And it's almost like you're just kind of stacking the deck of scheduling in your own favor, and then whoever emerges as the most quote-unquote popular in the fan of field, the fans, then they are suddenly the quote, like, best fighter, and they're the one to ramp. It doesn't seem like the NHL, the NHL couldn't be like, like if the blues are the biggest fan base of all time,

they couldn't just be like, Oh, now the blues, they play, they play the fucking Colorado avalanche 30 times in a row. And then they round out the season with 50 games in New Jersey. And it's like, what?

That's, that's, that's ridiculous. Well, they want to see the blues and the Stanley cup. I'm sorry. Like, uh, that's what they got to do. Like that's it. I get that's that's that's ridiculous well they want to see the blues in the stanley cup i'm sorry like uh that's what they got to do like that's it i get that feeling from the ufc and i'm sure i'm wrong but is there at least some truth to that that it's like you're stacking the deck it's not really a lot of parody it depends how good your team is they're absolutely stacking

the deck and they're putting on they're trying to make certain guys rise to the top or certain girls rise to the top they're they're it they always are look at um it was just a few fox events ago when they had page van zant and um that karate hottie michelle watterson versus watterson like i it's not her name i'm trying to come up with it's um the it's the guy really good looking heath north cut or he's sage north cut okay all like like and Paige Van Zandt are both very, very attractive. They look like supermodels or something. Or like swimsuit models or whatever.

Neither one of them have the skills it takes to be on the stage that they were on. They should have been where they were. Certainly not in the same night. It was such a shitty night of fights. Both of them lost. It was to watch michelle waterman take her apart because she's like a true fucking martial artist it was she fucking picked her apart beat the shit out of her good looking very good looking um and and actually talented so i thought there you had the ufc being

like this is going to sell more tickets this is going to get more people watching just because we've got two really good looking people fight just when they had cm punk uh the the the wrestler you know come in for his first ufc fight and that guy beat the dog shit out of him gail mickey yeah that sounds right yeah it's his mickey i'm not sure about the gail but it's great his walking song is that hey mickey you're so fine you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey. Yeah, the whole place lights up. It's pretty fun. Yeah, it's, I don't know, it's entertainment.

So I understand if you're going to have, I got no problem if they did a freak fight, you know, every event. If they had, like, some retired football player versus some, like, sumo wrestler and, like, yeah, let's have him go at it in the cage. But I also like the pure side of the sport. Where we get to see martial artists compete against each other. I like the balance. I think the UFC does it pretty well. One of the problems lately, though, is that a lot of the people who are right near the top. It's a bit of a log in. They can't get the fights they want.

And the people they want to fight. It seems like as soon as people get a belt belt they back off to like one fight a year you know they're always injured they're always unavailable they're all they want to hold that belt they do a lot of sports casting uh they do a lot of this right here john they immediately want to like put that belt on a table sit behind it and watch someone else get their asses kicked while they get paid which is you know having your cake and eating it too i'm the champion and uh i'm gonna be here telling you about that guy getting beaten up tonight not doing any beating myself like they all do that like if you watch the uh

the ufc um coverage show whatever that thing's called it's there's only one lady on there that that lady i she's black i think um she's the only one I know who isn't a fighter. Yeah, Misha Tate's on there and obviously ex-fighter. You can call her retired at 30 or whatever she is. She's not a fighter anymore? She retired. She had a couple of bad outings in a row there.

She had two bad outings. She was a champ and then she lost and lost. She's at that level of baseball in 1886 where there was a guy who was pretty good and this is like, oh, this is Whitey Wallace Johnson,

the first man to bunt. And it's like, oh, wow, this guy's claim to fame is that he figured out, you know, you don't have to swing the meds as hard as you want, you can just tap it over. And he just Chaps, you don't have to swing the bat as hard as you want. You can just tap it over. And he just tapped it like that.

Because no one is fast enough to get over here. And he's British for some reason. But he's. Because he's a cricket player who came over and revolutionized the sport. She is so lucky to be where she is now. You're thinking of Ronda Rousey, I think. She is. No, no, Misha Tate.

Because Ronda Rousey was more impactful. I would have given her as like the first person to hit an insignificant amount of home runs in a season until they realized like wow now that we got this swinging thing down this sports science you know we can really figure it out people aren't going like this like a maniac up the air and then coming down with the wrong angles they used to do that yeah they did like and then they figured out sports. Watch a goalie in hockey in 1974. He's standing there. Some of them not fully on the mask train yet.

And then a slap shot goes by. And if it's low, some of them just kind of move their lower body over there. They're like, oh, fuck it again. Got away from me. God damn it. And then now if you watch it, they're just fanatics. They're perfect athletes. That's exactly the same thing that's happening with women's UFC.

It's going to get so much better so much fucking faster. It's happening. Because they're in their infancy. They're going to sneak a man in there pretty soon. That's my prediction. They're going to sneak a dude in the women's UFC. Like a trans person? There's nothing I hate more than some dude pretending to be a woman and then acting like he dominated the field.

We covered that at the he dominated the field. We covered that at the opening of the show. There's a lot of speak one in there. It won't be like, hi, I'm Mike, and I beat up women for a living. It won't be that. It'll be like, wow, yeah, that Lacey Green, man, she's a killer. She's a killer. Looks like Tyson in there.

She's gone on like a three-year win streak streak and then we find out she's got a cock. Her cock falls out. We talked about Alan Fox. The trans guy. She had the surgery. So she was pretty woman. On the scale of woman-ness

she's pretty far along there. She didn't have a penis anymore. Which surgery did she have? She turned herself from a guy into a girl, so she got a vagina. Okay. Yeah, but having said that, she grew up as a guy. She developed a guy's bone structure. He has man hands

that are just bigger. Bigger hands. What was the quote from the lady that fought her? She was like, the woman she was fighting said something like, I'm a very strong woman strong woman i'm a fighter put me up against any woman on the street i'm gonna win and when fallon fox grabbed my arm it was a strength that i had never felt in the ring before i was trapped i was locked i could not move and it's like it's funny in that way like a bit but it's also like fucked up that this is someone who worked her whole at her ass off her whole life to be the best at this and then someone else goes no this is really hard but

i'm a man in a woman's body now and so i should be i'm just going to go in and destroy this whole like i'm just going to go in and dominate like how would how would you see the power lifter the transsexual power yes that is bullshit oh god, they've got a freeze frame of this 40-year-old man, like, pressing. I'm gonna say, in my head there are four plates on each side, so let's just say they're 45 pounds each. So that's 360 plus the bar, which is 50, let's round down. So 410 pounds. It appears that this individual is pressing 400 pounds above his head. And it looks like a 42-year-old man, like the hairline, the jawline, like everything. And he is competing in women's powerlifting and has set a new world record.

Can you believe it? I just can't. That's such horseshit. It's going to be a real thing that's going to be a fucking problem in the next couple years. I swear, the trans people wanting to be in women's athletics will be a problem. There will never, ever, ever be an instance of a woman becoming a man and then deciding, well, it turns out I'm way better at football than I ever imagined. I'm going out for the NFL.

They can't split those mitts on me because sports are a meritocracy as they should be the best people get it and the best people play doesn't matter what your race is look at basketball like if black people are the best fucking put them on there hockey if fucking russians are the best or canadian just fucking throw them on there it doesn't matter it's all about how good you are and people are eventually going to start going into women's leagues trans people because they know they're going to be able to run the gamut like and just win like and that's going to be something where all those female athletes those genetically female athletes are going to have to sit there and pretend to be okay with it while society figures out what to do and be like

you know i uh i i worked my entire life to get to this point i worked everything i have i spent lots of money and made a lot of difficult decisions and this man masquerading as a woman has defeated me. I'm very upset. But it's also I'm tolerant and I'll carry her flag or whatever they want me to do. It's like I worked so hard that I stopped getting a period only to be beaten by someone

who's never fucking had one at the end of their life. Bullshit! That happened in the, it was like, was it Texas high school wrestling? We talked about it on PKA. Yeah. And some dude just, you know, he identified as a girl. He identified as someone who kicks girls' asses.

Hey, what's the national martial art of Israel? Krav Maga, something like that. Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu. Oh That came to me last night bed and I was like, I'm a genius That's the oldest joke ever apparently Isn't that the worst when you think you came up with a funny joke and you look it up here like oh

I'm just a parallel thinking idiot But think about like I was gonna go through I wasn't as i wasn't a big enough asshole to be like no one ever thought of jujitsu i mean it was like i bet you a lot of people yep didn't have to get all the way through it's a shitty situation because the biggest victims in all that are all the girls who are just trying to play sports in a league that they can be competitive in. You know? It's just not fair.

And the rule should just be... The biggest victim is that guy at Nike who has to come out, figure out how to make a women's fucking sports garment that'll conceal this guy's balls. He's the biggest victim in all this. Those pants really aren't doing it, are they? The real trouble is Trey Moore is over there.

That guy's fucked. He sits in his cubicle all day working on testicle concealment. Rebecca, with your bicycle shorts, the guys over at Nike want to know, do you dress to the left or right? Dude, I'm envious of the St. Louis Blues. There was a fleeting moment last week where it looked like the Hurricanes might win.

Maybe it was before the show. It was right around there. They were literally like a win and a half, you know, an overtime loss out of tying for a playoff spot. And it was like, you know, this could happen. They're on a four-game winning streak. They're hot as hell. They're out there melting the ice. They could do it. then you know they lost two games or something and the team that they're trying to catch is i'm out of date now but they were like a five game winning streak

and there was just no catching them and now it's over yeah they were uh they can still technically technically make it if uh the islanders and boston ottawa and boston and tampa bay don't win any more games and carolina wins all the remaining games but i'm pretty sure some plane crashes and yeah that's what you would need but they need an mma situation if we if boston would just say you know what i'm feeling kind of blue we're're not doing it. And then maybe someone could take their spot in a last-minute replacement. Boston's going to have a fucking riot if they miss the playoffs again, because this will be the third year in a row where

the last game of the season is you win, you make the playoffs, you lose, you miss the playoffs. And if they do that again this year, it'd be fucking hilarious, because I, I, I don't have any pity for teams that have won a Stanley cup in the last 10

years. And so, Oh, then you must not like the hurricanes. Uh, no, no, it's 11 years ago now.

So I'm fine with the, I'm fine with the hurricanes. I'm fine with the flyers. I'm fine with the devils, but fuck Chicago, even Tampa Bay. I like them, but when something bad happens to them, it's, that's kind of just like the attitude of, Oh fuck Chicago. Even Tampa Bay, I like them, but when something bad happens to them,

that's kind of just like the attitude of, oh, fuck. No, no, Tampa Bay, they haven't won in the last 10 years. That was 13 years ago, 12 years ago. But, yeah, I'm hoping the Blues do okay in the playoffs. We don't have a couple of our good centers, which is bad news, and we brought up a couple young guns from the AHL. Kyle, are you going to say something? Oh, it was a burp.

I'll tell you what. Kyle's got some hockey talk. Oh, no, it was a burp. Both the Flyers and the Hurricanes would make the playoffs if they were in the West. If they were in the West, it's hard to know because you'd have to pick two teams

to swap them out for, you know, for the records. I hear you. And I know it's not that simple. I'm just saying that it was easier over there this year. The Metro division has been awesome this year, strongest by a good bit. And the Atlantic has been, I guess Atlantic and Pacific, probably Pacific a little weaker overall.

But I don't know. The bottom part of Atlantic's just not good. I don't know. I just don't want Chicago to win. That's really the end of my list. I don't expect the Blues to win the Stanley Cup, and more than anything I don't want Chicago to win again. If I were a smart man, I'd put

$5,000 on Chicago today and reap the benefits. The bottom part of the Atlantic looks a good bit better than the bottom part of the Pacific. I don't know. Oh, because of Arizona, mainly. Arizona's fucking horrible there. But I guess you're right there. Yeah, the Atlantic Division is more clustered up.

Vancouver's lousy too, yeah. Vancouver started the year real good very briefly and then they fell to shit. They pulled the Flyers. Actually, the Flyers broke an NHL record this year. Oh yes, no one has ever had a 10-game win streak and not made the playoffs before.

We're so proud. Their team has won 10 games in a row and then missed the playoffs. Which is a good one to have, I guess. The Blues have tons of ones like that. They're the only team the oldest team

to have never won a single game in the Stanley Cup Finals because the only time they made it was in the late 60s, early 70s when they played the original six teams in the finals and got shit-rocked by the fucking Canadians who just grabbed all the good Canadians around Montreal and put them on the team.

But, yeah, it's all right. Eventually, no, they won't win ever. That's all right. I'm going to put a snarky thing about the Blues on my tombstone, but it's not going to be that thing where it's like, I hope they can be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last, but it's not going to be that thing where it's like, I hope they can be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time. It's not going to be that one. I hopefully have plenty of time to think,

but I will put one. So, I was going to change the topic. That's fine. Rick and Morty season three premiered on April Fool's Day, and we had a bit of a hard time even convincing Woody to click the link, I feel like.

So slow. Dude, when I started watching it, I watched like the last, I'll say, two minutes of the show. Because it was just looping and looping. On a loop, yeah. And so it ends with like nonsensical Rick talk into threats or whatever. And I was like, this isn't even... Nine more years, Morty!

Nine more years of this! Rick and Morty't nine more years nine more years rick and morty nine more years 97 more episodes and i was like this isn't even the show like i thought i was remember the court case where like rick and morty did the voices and that guy like was talking to the judge i thought it was something like that like i was like listen because they came out on april fool's day and i had my guard up so strong against being fooled that I didn't believe what was true. It wasn't until like 15 minutes in that I believed it was a real episode. I couldn't believe that Chiz jumped. I just put it on Skype and let it sit there.

There was no, oh, my God, look, everyone. one it was i literally wrote like i put the link there and it said woody this is you know this is season three episode one of rick and mori and then just walked away and my hope was that he was gonna go not today nobody was gonna jump in and like start discussing the episode and that we'd get here today and he'd be like yeah you tried to get me with that and we'd all be like you haven't seen it yet like i was hoping for it but chiz just jumps in he's like yeah yeah it's on a fucking loop and it's playing till midnight get in there watch it now and i uh i i didn't want any spoilers and i wanted to watch it from the beginning which was kind of tough so so what i would do what i did was i went on reddit and i started looking at reddit comments and i timed it out you know they

they said that there was uh you know a a couple of commercial breaks, 22 to 23 minute episode. And so I had like this, and then I knew when it had started and when the loops were happening. So I was able to time it within a couple of minutes and I would jump in, see that it wasn't like the end or the beginning or a commercial, which is what I was looking for, and then go away. And then jump back in every like 30 seconds

until I hopped right in in a commercial and then it just begins, you know, with Shoney's and everything. I loved it it i thought it was excellent it was really excited for this season i thought it was good i i didn't think it was magic or anything though like it was it was rick and morty it really was that was crazy they took out the the whole intergalactic empire he destroyed the entire citadel of Ricks. He killed dozens of Ricks, dozens of Mortys. I saw Mortys' eyeballs pop out.

A Rick used a Morty as a hammer. A hammer Morty. I don't know if you get it. I want to watch it again. I felt a little let down. I wanted the escape from jail to be like three episodes of Daring Do and whatever whatever and no it wasn't like that it was like he's just put on his superhero hat and did anything he wanted well

they like he was he was arnold schwarzenegger in commando like you know 70 people shooting at him at once and he just shoots back and doesn't get hit the beginning of the episode where he does the thing where he says like oh remember that how i was in jail last time i somehow got out of it or something like i know it's that's how i escaped out of integral life you remember i was in jail just a few weeks ago morty like i got out of it somehow like they were like whatever it was like i didn't like that for the same reason what he said and feeling really silly because it is a commercial or a cartoon show so it shouldn't matter as much but seeing that i was like oh god damn it i wanted to see how he got out of the prison well wait a minute they showed up well hang on i think you're

a bit think think about this for a minute like like the whole thing at shoney's was them trying to fool rick's mind with the whole illusion like like they they were they had made rick think that he had escaped from i was being too uh too obtuse there i guess i i was meaning more specifically you know when he's in that thing like suspended in the crucifix pose and he's got like all the monsters next to him and they're like what are you waiting for he's like everything and then they fucking leave i wanted to see him how he would break out of that because I had in my head some master scheme of him somehow manipulating all the other criminal

aliens and starting his own Federation season. How exactly do you smart your way out of handcuffs? Show me that. And they didn't. All of a sudden he's, I don't know, armed and running around and shooting people. I need to watch it again. I feel like I don't quite know everything.

What happens is they need Rick. They can't just lock him away and throw the key away. He has too much valuable information. He's the most intelligent man in existence in any existence. And he is the Rickiest Rick of them all. So he is smarter than all of them. And so they want to extract

that knowledge from him, specifically the portal gun. They want to know how to get to other dimensions because they're a singular dimensional intergalactic group of insectoids or whatever the fuck. And so they can't just lock him away and throw the key away. They gotta, they're trying to get that out of his brain. And so

he creates that elaborate like ruse inside of his own head and like turns the tables on them and then writes that formula on the ground. And when they enter that formula into their computers, they give him complete access of their computers and then it just goes from there. He's transferring his consciousness from one of them to the other.

I love that shit. That's one of my favorite Rick and Morty episodes ever. Didn't they straight up pull that exact same ruse before when he gave them the wrong formula and they entered it and it fucked him up? The way it did before is he told him how to make uh crystallized xanthanite or some made-up thing and he's like you take these two

things and then you add tap water and he gave him the wrong explanation on how to make these energy crystals and then they ended up killing themselves so they tried to do it yeah it sounds very similar to it is very similar it's really the only thing it changes is the means by which they blow up. So in one, it's more direct. In the other one, it's through a code. So what he did this time around gives him access to, gives him control over the computer program he's in and gets him out of it. And then from there, of course, the SEAL team Rick comes in or whatever

and messes his plan up. So he's like, ah, I was about to go up to level nine and change the currency from one to zero but now i guess i'll just transfer my consciousness through two or three ricks go all the way to the citadel of ricks and then beam it into the mid i love that when he like beamed it into the middle of the prison and it's all like sticking out sideways and shit's flying everywhere i i really dug the episode. And I love that they did it on April Fool's Day because I'm sure so many people saw, Rick and Morty, it's out!

It's out! It's out! And we're just like, not today. I like any kind of thing that those companies do, especially Adult Swim seems to do a good thing with this where they do marketing and certain things in a way that kind of flies in the face of propriety where they're like, you know, for most companies

if they were like, hey, let's do the newest episode of Walking Dead as a surprise and we just put it out there and stream it and we see what happens. Like the ABC or whatever fucking channel has Walking Dead they would be like, AMC,

they would be like, yeah, no. We're not going to get any ad dollars for that. We're not going to be able to monetize it at all. And then when people like Adult Swim or Rick and Morty do it, it's very endearing. It's like a good faith. It's a way to build good faith for your brand. Nobody would think that Rick and Morty – Rick and Morty is like a YouTuber in 2012 that uploaded a Call of Duty video every 10 days

and then they uploaded one every two months and then they uploaded one three times in a day and then they uploaded one 10 days later. And people hated those YouTubers because they're like, God damn it, I can't get any structure. I don't know when to come back. You would think that their fans would hate them,

but just little things like this make a world of difference because people are like, well, God damn. They looked out for us a little bit today. It's a nice surprise. Yeah, it's like a gift. Yeah, and are like well goddamn like they they looked out for us a little bit it's a nice surprise yeah it's a gift yeah and then like you said it's walking dead they would be planning it forever and promoting it in the structure and walking dead ended i uh i don't know if you guys watch walking oh the whole show and no no no the season ended and um it was a good show i know kyle hasn't seen it yet, but it turns out, so Walking Dead, by the way,

keep in mind, 16 episodes. It's a big thing. There's a lot of shows. 16-hour episodes. And the whole year is kind of background building and hype for next year. And that, to me, seems like...

I like it. That always sucks. Yeah, right? There are a lot of people who act like I'm just... I don't have the attention span and maturity for good things. But it's like, dude, I don't know, man. I liked it with Better Call Saul somehow, mostly, but

I feel like this is the lost year. You know? The whole thing was just rick trying to sort of build friends it's i don't like what they people say like about walking devil you're saying when people are like oh you just you know you have to enjoy the down seasons to appreciate the up seasons where it's like no that applies to moments you need to appreciate the down moments so that you can cut when an up moment happens in that episode or that series of episodes you can go oh that was really good that was great i hate it when shows have entire seasons where and the

reason they do that is because the season before as they were storyboarding at the end of it and being like all right this is where we're gonna go from here and shit like that they're like oh fuck actually no damn it we can't jump right into there that doesn't make any sense well how do we get them to barbados okay well we got to do fucking this first and then they get a long protracted thing and they don't they don't truncate it into like a little area it just becomes a whole season it always feels like panicky almost where they know they're running out of shit i think the office and parks and rec had a season like that and they're not even story building shows they're but they had shows like at least one whole season in the office at the end where it was just shit i know i know kyle disagrees because you like the office the whole way through um

the the office um like the 10th season 9th season is pretty shaky at times like when you got andy taking them to like um andy's the boss and he takes them to um what's the battlefield up in pennsylvania gettysburg that's a weak fucking episode. There's an episode where there's a couple episodes where they just find an excuse to leave the office and like go do something as a group of people, which is kind of silly. Which doesn't happen. You know, there's one where, long story short, they all end up in a work bus in the parking lot and then they drive the work bus somewhere. And it's like, ah, this is the later seasons aren't that great i guess let me tell you what i've been sucked into by uh chis partially i i like rogan i like most of his guests and i like going into it and stuff but i started listening to ones with graham hancock on

there and uh this other scientist whose name i can't recall this is his podcast and uh yeah the podcast and that got me really interested in graham hancock now he's a he's this scientist whose name I can't recall. This is his podcast. Yeah, the podcast. That got me really interested in Graham Hancock. He's this scientist who, over the course of the last 20 or 30 years, has been collecting evidence to support his theories. He's got a ton of evidence. Basically,

it takes many hours to get the full grasp of what he's basically proven at this point. But it seems that human history, as he puts it, is built upon sand. It's not built on a firm foundation, at least our idea of early human history, which is that we started as these hunter-gatherers and slowly evolved into what we are today. slowly evolved into what we are today. He proposes, and he puts forth tons and tons of evidence,

from ice cores to the materials that are being used, and carbon dating that's hyper-reliable because of the situation that they're in, that human civilization around, I think it's 12,000 years ago, there was this comet impact over North America that flash-melted the ice caps there. Sea levels went up 300 feet, and it started this period known as the Younger Dryas, where the temperature of the Earth dropped by 18 to 20 degrees centigrade and stayed like that for 1,200 years. And all this is factual. You can tell by the oxygen levels in the at the co2 levels in the atmosphere from the ice cores in greenland um that this

happened and it lasted for 1200 years and what he believes and what many of these people believe is that before this happened human civilization had gotten to the point this 12 000 years ago had gotten to the point of building of having astronomy, being able to build great temples and monolithic structures and things like that, which flies in the face of traditional archaeology. And of course, and over the course of this thing, I bought his book last night, started, I'm a quarter of the way into the book now, but one of the main pieces of cool evidence is this place in Turkey called Gebleki Tepe. It's, I think the name translates in Turkish to Pot-Bellied Hill, and that's what it looked like. It looked like this pot-bellied hill out in the middle of the plains.

And what they have found is that there are stone megalithic structures that were purposefully buried 12,000 years ago, right at the time of this great cataclysm. They were buried purposefully. They were used for a few thousand years and then sealed in with earth. And because they're sealed in, the carbon dating on the material that's at the bottom of it is super reliable. It goes back to 12,000 to 15,000 years. And these things were originally, when they were discovered,000 years. And these things were, originally when they were discovered, they were like, oh, that's medieval work there. Like, that's not what we're here for.

The team from Boston University was like, that's medieval stonework you're looking at there. We're here for ancient stonework. And they just, you know, wrote it off. It's not medieval stonework. It looks like medieval stonework because it's so fucking good. And the carvings are so good. There's all these high relief, which means deeply carved carvings of lions and all kinds

of animals and human beings. Some of these human beings are tall with beards holding handbags, curved handle, square handbag. They go to Mexico, there's another picture of these tall bearded men with their handbags. And in the legends from Mexico to Assyria to Turkey to all these ancient religions, there's a name for them. And they claim in all of these different societies and civilizations that these people were from a lost civilization. Sometimes they're revered as gods or spirits or men from a magical land. But they're the ones who supposedly came to these people and

taught them agriculture and raised them up from being cavemen. So what he believes is that people from what we would call Atlantis today, some sort of super civilization that existed before this great cataclysm, was completely wiped off the earth by the rising sea levels. Think about where man settles traditionally along the coastlines. All of those were swallowed up. Things like the story of Atlantis is really interesting because it's a fictional thing we think of it, but it came from Plato. Plato passed that story down to us from his ancestor,

whose name is like Solon. Yeah, Solon. Solon went to Egypt, and he talked to the priest there, and he asked them, you know, when did all this happen, when the world ended and we started anew? And when did Atlantis sink? And the priests in Egypt told Solon 9,000 years ago from now. That was 600 B.C.

That's 9,600 B.C. to us. That's when this fucking meteor hit. So the Egyptians claimed that Atlantis sunk at the exact same time that this meteor or this comet struck the earth and caused the uh water levels to rise it's really fucking fascinating this seems like super interesting in the way that like like when i start getting into it like i'll want to believe certain things about it because it's like this is really neat if it happened this way but it seems like something where there's a lot of backfilling, where it's like, oh,

these people that covered people in honey and forced them to be eaten by bugs to death, they had a real good understanding of a 10,000 year calendar as well. I don't know. And also like the bearded and the bagged thing. I want to see him debate

someone who knows enough to debate him, right? Because I hear this and I have no background to challenge it as either true or false. It's not connecting puzzle pieces for me. I really don't have other puzzle pieces. This is the only piece I have. Hey, look. Kyle gave me a piece of this puzzle and I hope it fits in with the rest. Who knows?

Right? And I don't want to see him on Joe Rogan's show. I know where you're coming from. I have the same thoughts. I want to see him against like a college professor who teaches an alternative history and hear them sort of mesh it out. He brings that up constantly. So a few of the things that he, the evidences he uses, he explains throughout his thing.

He's like, they won't even talk to me about this. They hate me. No one will discuss this. You bring it up to them when they walk out of the room, like you just even talk to me about this. They hate me. No one will discuss this. You bring it up to them when they walk out of the room like you just asked Trump about a Russian connection. Because the new evidence in the carbon basin is like flies really in the face of what's traditionally believed. Now, the men with the handbags and stuff, that's the stuff that gets toward the fringe for me. Even though it's carved in a fucking stone on two sides of the earth. The stuff that's real, though, is the Greenland ice cores that they drilled that show the CO2 levels, which accurately give us the temperature of the earth

and the oxygen levels at the time. So they can definitely use that to tell that these temperature levels change drastically. Pinpoint it. Also, they have a layer of soot ash that's from that exact period of time that could be dated there that would have been caused by the gigantic conflagration of all the forest burning. They also have these impact diamonds that are only created by meteor impacts and comet impacts on the Earth. They hit the ground and create such pressure and temperature that they create these hexagonal diamonds.

Those exist in those same layers of the earth in that same period of time they also have what's called nuclear glass it's the glass that's formed from a nuclear explosion when the glass when sand is melted that's in that layer too so what is the conclusion that's being drawn from all this that seems to deter other, because if the guy's saying, I'm trying to talk about this with scientists all the time, and they're just ignoring me, like, what is, so what is his conclusion from all this? So what it seems is that archaeology isn't a science in the way that biology and astronomy are. You know, there isn't as much scientific process involved with it. Where you get your facts in archaeology, it seems, is

ex-professor teaches it this way. Everyone believes what ex-professor says, because he did the research and he's the one who knows. And when you've got new information, like when they found Gobleki Tepe, and it just, the stones that are in there are not supposed to be able to be shaped that way in that period of time. It's during a time where traditional archaeology says that we were hunters and gatherers who just nomadically walked around with spears and addle addles. But these things are huge. They're 20 tons, I think, 40 tons. They're 20 feet tall. There's 50 different sites, they believe. They're all buried in. Just the burying of this, when you see it,

just what it would have taken for men thousands of years ago with, I presume, baskets full of rubble to make trips back and forth, it's insane. It's not the sort of thing that some hunter-gatherers would have done. It would have required an organized labor force and months of planning and years of work, and then you've got to provision all those people. And and keep in mind this is the time where we're not even supposed to have specialized labor yet specialized labor is when

agriculture allows for surpluses that means that I don't have to feed myself I can learn to chisel stone now I could be a stone worker those aren't supposed to exist at that time in history we're all supposed to be doing one thing and that's fucking and fighting and getting food. And they're all about the same thing. That's kind of three things. When you say it, but it's always like... I punched a hole in your theory already. It's the same.

What you're saying, it all makes sense to me, but it's exactly like when it's like, oh, this whole bar's green. It runs on burnt trash. It's totally green that way. All that smoke goes up into the sky, and it creates stars. It doesn't sound right. I don't know enough to dispute it That's what I'm saying don't believe me go what go either get his book cuz it's like ten fucking dollars and and you and you

And and the reason I immediately like pressed by he was like please just buy the book is that fucking the further funds me and I go out in the field and he does like this isn't a guy who sits like in Somewhere in like types a bunch of shit and like bull shits like he's all over the planet all over funds me, and I go out in the field. And he does. This isn't a guy who sits somewhere and types a bunch of shit and bullshits. He's all over the planet. He's been to Egypt countless times, and he's going on these expeditions to Turkey, and their group, because they're kind of flying in the face of

traditional archaeology, sometimes they're scrimping money together to get ex-scientists from this Robert Shock guy from I want to say Boston University, but that's probably not right. Like he had to fly him to Egypt to look at the Sphinx because the thing about the Sphinx is traditional archaeology says it was built between 2,500 and 4,500 years ago by the Egyptians,

but it's got water erosion on it and there wasn't water precipitation in the Egyptian Delta significant enough to do that. The last time that happened was 12,000 years ago also. in the Egyptian Delta significant enough to do that. The last time that happened was 12,000 years ago also. This is both the strength and weakness of science. I promise I'll let you go. But it's like what's cool about this is when science is wrong, usually they'll get around to saying, okay, mess that one up.

This is our new theory, right? So science can never stay wrong because they just switch to whatever's right. But when science is proven wrong, you're also like, well, what else are you wrong about? You know, at least the church over there has been consistent with their message. Stay away from your shellfish. And you have to keep in mind,

it's so easy to be like, oh, that's done. Said and done. We all believe that and we're all okay with it but there's like where we might be absolutely shit i don't know what it is but there's absolutely shit that's totally scientifically accepted right now that we're gonna find out in 10 years 15 years maybe five years is like oh oh man we didn't just have that wrong we were actually doing the wrong thing oh fuck i feel like i've watched that happen five times with diets now the general idea of what of what eating right is is more or less consistent but i'll tell you when i was a kid milk was considered a health food you know like they would they would like force us to drink it every dinner

because milk makes you big and it's like spinach and Popeye, right? Now milk is viewed as kind of – it's better than soda I guess but like – It's more middle of the road. It's not this superfood. Exactly. And the calories in, calories out thermodynamics thing that you've heard me fuss about this and that. Well, I think that that's generally in the right idea. All these diets are generally on the right idea. The paleo diet, like you only eat things that cavemen would have digested without cooking.

Yeah, well, if you think about it, that pretty much means, like, you eat vegetables and stuff like that. And you also, did you read a sign or wipe your ass that day? You're not going whole hog into this. Like, they weren't really wise people. Well, the theory is that the bodies were evolved for that diet, so do that diet and you'll have a great physique. But when you look at it, it's like, oh, well, that diet is actually pretty close to the one your teacher probably told you about

with fruits and vegetables and nuts and things like that. But I think my theory is they're going to be like, I'm making shit up, so it's not going to be exactly right. But they're going to be like, oh, shit up so it's not gonna be exactly right but they're gonna be like oh yeah when you eat this your body has this like insulin response that triggers it to do this or that and you know this kind of food satiates your feeling of hunger more than that kind does and you know this kind is more easily converted to fat and that kind just goes straight to the poop chute and like I suspect that's what we'll be at some point.

They'll never – like dieting is an interesting example. But that will never be fully figured out really. Or it will be figured out. I'm sure they've got it pretty much down pat. Yeah, they're probably close today. But it will never be a unanimous decision on what's best because there's too much fucking money to be made to convince people that losing weight and getting in shape, it's not just eating right and working out.

It is a huge, laborious science of steps and measuring and timing and this, and you can't do this on your own. People try it on their own all the time. The best people try this on their own and they fail. I can't lose weight to save my life. I even got on top of that once a day. I've tried everything on kfc's menu nothing works i've tried

everything except for moving more and eating less like that's all that you have to do like and when you're eating healthy like you don't have to be you know the rock where he posts like all those like celebrities who post pictures on instagram of their meticulously laid out diet plan. And it's like, wow, The Rock, I bet you personally just spent seven hours preparing your meals for this week in your kitchen. Wow, I bet you did that. That's real. Like, I bet you did. He didn't.

I guarantee it. There's a whole subreddit for that. Yeah, I looked at that today. Yeah, and it seems like a good idea. And that is a good idea. It's a whole subreddit for that. Yeah, I looked at that today. Yeah, and it seems like a good idea, and that is a good idea. It's a great idea, but you don't have to have all these supplements and all these crazy things to get in better shape,

but if you can tell someone and convince them that it's easy, the exact same reason that one of the best lines in marketing out there are weight loss pills that say, this is for serious weight loss. If you only need to lose four or five pounds this is not for you Oh magnifique brilliant fucking brilliant because you have just found everybody who needs four pounds to lose in the country and you have them sitting there going oh shit this isn't for me well they couldn't I

mean it's still safe I mean what's gonna happen worst case scenario I lose a little bit too much weight? I mean, I don't think that's an issue. If it works for these fat monsters, it's going to work for me. That's exactly what it's meant to do. The first time I heard that commercial, I was like, you're not fucking with me.

I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. You're not manipulating me, drug company, but I am going to test your product. You got a good slogan. These are some incredible claims you're making. I think it's fun when Taylor's marketing expertise comes out. Like every so often he's like, yeah, marketing nowadays, you know,

it's hardly about creativity. It's about numbers and statistics and research. And I'm like, oh, really? Because I'm in madman territory. Like I thought it was about some underappreciated girl over there who came up with great ideas and guys took credit for it. I thought that's how this all worked. That's, like, what was funny,

watching Mad Men, like, because I watched it years ago before I got more into advertising and marketing professionally, and I'd watch, and, like, one of the scenes that jumped out at me was, I was never a huge fan, didn't watch a ton,

but when Don Draper's sitting there with the cigarette company Lucky Strike, and his idea's, like, it's toasted. That's it. And people are like, but it's all toasted. He's like, yeah, but that doesn't matter, because we're implying that they're not toasted. And it's like, man, being in marketing in the 50s would have been so easy.

Just being like, this sounds pretty good. Does someone want to look it up and see if someone else has done it? Look it up. What do you mean? You're right. Fuck it. Let's keep going. Where would we look?

There's so many numbers and so much data that it's not intuitive really at all. You can be like, man, I think that people would really respond to this kind of messaging. And then you go out there and you run a test and you're like, oh, shit. Once again, I broke the number one rule of marketing never use yourself as an example because people don't engage with this like that's the hardest thing is people want to treat it intuitively but it's not because you want to believe that everybody thinks the same as you but they don't there's a parallel in computer programming computer programmers they have all these like business ideas and things and what do they build tools for computer programmers you know like yeah if we just had a better text editor i'd take over the world you fuck you're

the only guy doing text editing like it you know you're the only one who thinks that if you could align parentheses better that this would be a billion dollar idea the truth is everyone else is like facebooking because you put yourself in there and he's like for me i would love this service and i would pay $100 a month for it. I bet other people would too. You know, like if they were... We're going to start a business where every month you send a fun fact

booklet of Lord of the Rings trivia to people's houses. It's going to start at $10 a month. Call it Loader for Fun. That's what it's going to be. But yeah, it is interesting. I strongly suggest that if either of you were a little – if your interest was piqued at all by my talk about the Hancock guy, you watch the Joe Rogan experience that has him on.

I'll link it here because he's got – I'll check it out. And it's that other guy, Randall Carlson, who's also a scientist, and he does a lot of field work too. Oh, nice. So they kind of go back and forth, and they both strongly believe in this theory of the comet impacts that sparked the beginning of the Younger Dryas.

And that's all accepted science, that there is a Younger Dryas, that there is that period of temperature change. That is hard factual science. Do you know where the impact is? North America. They think it was Canada. Here's the thing. They think that this ice cap was flash melted.

I kind of skipped over that, but they think when this thing exploded in the atmosphere and melted an amount of ice that's just extraordinary. It's hard to even fathom. And they have all of this evidence for where the water went and they they can they can show you where it spilt and created uh these uh elliptical canyons these horseshoe these horseshoe waterfall uh canyons and stuff it's really fascinating to to like uh go down the rabbit hole with these two guys there's there's a really big meteor strike i don't know where it is it's like an american desert somewhere so say like arizona or something

and uh it's amazing to look at it's gigantic it's a it's i don't know why people don't visit it more but it's a place that paramotorists like to fly like they can wake up early in the morning and fly in this like giant meteor strike oh that's cool yeah so i was i was hoping it was that one but no they don't know where this one probably they don't they don't have an impact crater and and he's and and to get to your point like like is this pseudoscience is this fringe science he he goes back and explains that you know the the whole idea of the dinosaurs being done in by an asteroid was completely laughed at for a long time as well and it wasn't until when they finally found the impact crater down there in the gulf of mexico that everybody was like all right

i guess that's what fucking happened then because you got the crater and you've got the hexagonal diamonds that are created by the by that impact and you've got the the nuclear glass this is what they there's another name for nuclear glass but it's you know it's glass that's created by sand melting when a fucking nuclear bomb goes off or And a meteor hits real hard, so I I have it. I'll show it to people this is the Arizona nuclear strike I'm sorry um Meteor straight here, and it's really big Like it would and the thing with all these is they're always like look at the size of this hole

Did you know that this was made by a meteor the size of a pack of chicklets? Or something? Some ridiculous stack? It's ridiculous. I wish I could remember how big they said the one that created this whole thing was, but it's not enormous. It was probably the size of a fridge or something.

It's ridiculous how much energy those things have. What if we had a meteor strike and it cooled everything off and solved global war? Like it just, you know, like, ah,

yeah, you know what? Now we need carbon because it's fucking cold out. And if we could warm the place up by a little bit, that'd help. How big of a, that would be the biggest problem solver ever. Just be like,

all right, you know what, Bangladesh? Keep, keep producing, keep doing your thing. We're not cutting you off. That's one of the most interesting parts when he's

laying this whole case out, because he lays it out over the case of hours. He's like, alright, modern climatologists are freaking out that our temperature has supposedly raised by 1.2 degrees over the last

200 years. And then he shows you the CO2 map and it's this zigzag line that goes north to south. And he's like, right here it changed 20 degrees centigrade in a day. In a day! We're talking about 200 years of man's industrial

work supposedly has raised the temperature by a degree and a half. And they're terrified of 2 degrees. And this was 20 degrees overnight globally. The entire temperature dropped. It's real fun to watch. So last summer was hot, right? And for people, when they talk about global warming,

they talk about like tenths of a degree, one degree, et cetera. The median temperature in July in raleigh is like 89 and it it just seemed like that's the median high i mean to say and it seemed like it was hitting 98 like 20 of those days 20 out of 30 days it was a it broke 100 a bunch and i'm like what the fuck like i thought global warming was a degree and it's like 10 degrees 15 degrees it's one degree of the average temperature of the entire planet though going i so i fully understand that i'm sure somebody in like vietnam was like dude it was cold this july and balanced me off um like i just i mean i don't mean to put you that i have to say and like there's why someone i picked that randomly

but uh but i i just like dude how fucking hot is it gonna be this summer is it gonna be 100 all the time again i gotta get skinny i can't take this fucking heat i'm i'm fine with uh winter continuing the way it's been because the last two winters have been perfect oh yeah like no snow uh we. Actually, I think we got more snow in March than we did in February this year by a lot because that was kind of aggravating. It's like those March 18th snows where you're like, you couldn't get this out of your fucking system like six weeks ago. But yeah, summer, I'd rather have a summer that's too hot than a winter that's too shitty,

I think, if I had to pick one. Oh, that's a tough one. Yeah, I would like it if March was as nice as February this year. That'd be cool, you know, in terms of heat. But yeah, the hot summers, they're pretty hot. We're getting a pool. Maybe that'll change my attitude on stuff. Yeah, that'll be nice.

Oh, you're going to be loving it. You're going to be just running all your lights and lamps and your extra generator just for the fuck of it to keep the weather the same. I hope that works out. I just know it's not going to. I just know it. They seem competent and stuff, but we call. I remember in computer programming, the first milestone or two were never missed, never missed, because it was just like, hey, did we agree on objectives?

And even if you didn't, you could just say yes, because, like, what the fuck? Yeah, we did. We had our first milestone. Aren't we awesome? And it wasn't until, like, code had to run that people had to admit whether things were on time or not. And now we're at a stage where like,

hey, did you get the permit? And they're like, yeah, we got permits. Permits are cool. Hey, can we get another copy of your survey? Okay. But you got the permit? Like, I'm a little confused, but here's a hand, you know. And when they have to like break ground and do shit,

then we'll know if we're on schedule or not. It's going to be an ordeal, I anticipate, because I know my parents moved around willy-nilly growing up, and even after they divorced, I was bouncing around those houses. They moved around a couple times each then, so I've lived in

10 or 11 different houses, all in the St. Louis metro area. And they put pools in most of those houses because as I was growing up, they were really big into the like, we get the house, we fucking fix it up, throw a pool in,

and then we are fucking out of there again. And then we go to a new place, you know, make some money on that flip. And I mean, if you want to flip your house, putting a pool in is the best way to do it. That and granite, like a nice backsplash slate. A lot of things you can do that aren't that expensive. But the pool is the big seller in a lot of situations. And every

time they would go and be like, we're getting the pool in, boys. It'll be in by July. And I'm like, no, it won't. It will not be in by July because I'm 16 and this is my seventh house and I've watched this go down and it will not be done. And it was never done. It was always an ordeal.

It was a new company that they had do the pool seemingly every time because they're like, oh want to go back to jim bob's pool and spa no jim bob's a real cunt and he screwed us over last time oh how about we go to ellisville uh pool co oh fuck that didn't work either you know they they took six weeks and then they just left a big concrete pit in our backyard with no paving around it for a month and a half and it looked awful all summer. And then it rained a bunch, slid a bunch of mud into the concrete, and they had to redo the whole thing.

Like it was an ordeal. So I wish you luck. Thank you. One thing they did right, I kind of is like they kind of set expectations. So first of all, June 17th is the day. That's the day it's supposed to be done. Of course, I don't believe it. I'm not new to contracting, but that's what they're saying. But what he also said was like, look, any swimming, a first year pool is a first

year pool. Even if this thing goes completely unscheduled and all's cool, it'll be surrounded by muddy red clay. It'll be, you know, it won't look right. He's like, you know, it's going to be a first year pool. So I'm like, all right. I kind of get that. So probably next year will be a nicer pool experience. Are you getting it heated? No. You can add a heater later.

That's one thing about heaters. But, you know, I don't know. We'll see. We'll add a heater later if we want one. We have two problems with that. One, electric heaters are kind of expensive to run. Propane heaters, even worse. If we had cheap natural gas like other people do, it'd be more tempted, but

it would be propane here. My dad got fucking furious at me once when I had a bunch of friends over in high school and we were all swimming and whatnot. It was late at night and they were out doing whatever fucking adult shit they were doing and a bunch of people over and it was a little bit chilly not even cold enough to warrant turning the heater on but probably like a couple girls were like oh it's a little chilly and so it's like oh i'll go do it and i just did

what women seem to do with uh with uh temperature gauges and uh thermostats where they go, oh, it's 68. I'd prefer it to be 71. And they go, brrrap, right up to 96. I just turned this pool heater just, boom, all the way on. When my dad got home and, like, felt the pool, he was like, how long have you been running this? How long have you had this on? And I'm like, I don't know, like, all day, all day, the whole day. And he's like, well, this pool is 88 degrees.

And I was like, that's a a really this is a big pool to keep Doing the math the amount of energy you just spit I Have to find someone to tell me how much money That's how much money you've wasted. I need help to figure it out When you light bulb on if there were like a little like chart like overlaid on a light bulb that showed you how much light you were wasting it would like tick up one penny every hour and a half every four hours this if there was that counter on this pool it would have been like the stock market just like the national debt and up and up, the national debt just continuing on that website. But yeah, the pool

felt great, but it was not worth it in the end. It was very uninduced. I'm almost worried about our pool being too hot. I've never had a pool before and such, but fuck, if it's going to be 100 degrees every goddamn day, I don't... You'll find yourself

being spoiled by it because you'll get in and because i grew up with the pool for so much like you don't appreciate it as much as you did and so like when i was very young and we got our first pool it was like all day every day in the summer splashing around loving it like just a couple years later though like different house different pool my dad would be like you boys look out and swim it's's like, ugh. No, not particularly. It's not even hot. I'll have to change clothes afterwards.

I'll have to change. I'll be wet. It's only 72 degrees in the pool. And when I get out, I'll be briefly chilly. I have a question that only Taylor and his affluent childhood could answer. What are those car wash showers like? Like, are they awesome?

Are they not that awesome? I never got the car wash shower. When my parents were redoing one of the houses, my brother had a bathroom in our basement, and I had a bathroom in our basement because both of our rooms were down there. And the big room that I wanted was attached to a standard bathroom and the smaller room that he got by default was attached

to this bathroom that needed totally redoing and so I was like I'm not gonna wait for that to be done fuck it and of course my mom came down and does the things she does when she does this shit with houses where it's never just like oh we'll just put in a little bit here and that'll make the value more. She's like, this needs to be an Olympic level spa. Whoever's child is in this room. And so like, I watched like with chagrin as months went by as like the contractor was in

there and like putting in like five different shower heads on the side. And I only got, I would use the shower anytime my brother didn't, wasn't using it pretty much. And it was so much better than a traditional shower really so much that like like if if i were in there without my glasses on and my contacts were out and like i turned the wrong way when i was rinsing my eyes and i got i caught like a like of some other one there's like a brief bit of panic where you're like oh i'm fine oh it's just it's just high-tech shower it's just water but they're great you should invest in one of those 3d waterboarding yeah

i like those things giant shower uh rainforest uh shower heads they call them i don't like that just like this big and well you have to get ones that you can increase the pressure because a lot of them they just like drizzle out and that's clean yeah yeah you need ones that that come out with pressure but those are when i like when i get out i don't want there to be any residue at all i'm a little ocd about that like like i think i spit i wonder if people get out and like have like shampoo it like the back of their hair like like behind your ears and like back in it like is that shampooing on some people because i fucking guarantee it's not on me i'm like i got that thing i'm like high pressure like just i want to get every bit of soap and shampoo off before i get out of there if i finish showering and i have to take a shit within like

30 minutes of finishing the shower i just shower again i call it oh yeah strike one for me that day and i just redo it yeah absolutely yeah yeah i feel like my one more thing about the fucking normal shower the graham hancock guy that blew my mind is uh they went into the great pyramid which he doesn't believe was built as as soon as it is he thinks it's ancient as well and um in like uh what they call the king's chamber there are these holes in the wall that extend extend all the way out of the pyramid. You're in the center of the pyramid, and there's a hole in the wall, and you look through it,

and it goes all the way out the side of the pyramid, points into the sky, and they point at certain stars. They point at stuff, so that you can look through there, and you're looking right at a certain constellation. And that's really fascinating. But then they went to this other chamber, and this guy was like like why are there no holes in this chamber there should be holes in this

chamber holes in the other chamber why not here so he walks around with a hammer tapping the walls until he finds one that goes dunk dunk he's like huh and he hits a little harder and it fucking opens up there's a hole in that wall too that's been covered up for thousands of years and he looks you can't see out of this hole. It's a shaft. And this shaft is, like, I don't know, big enough to stick both your arms in, but you'd never crawl in it. Like, this is, like, coffee can size. And so they send a robot up into this thing, like, recently, like 10 years ago or something like that.

They send this robot all the way up there. They get way, way up there. And there's a door with two handles on in this thing that's this big there's a door with two handles on it just blocking the fucking way and what do we do now so they send another robot in with a drill on it they drill through this fucking thing they back it off and they send the camera through and there's a space and then another door and then he's like and we haven't went back yet Egyptian Pharaoh's like dummy tomb like to ruse the bandits he's like what do we do

behind this one Pharaoh I just put another wall behind it just just another wall keep him looking for my gold. It's really, really fascinating stuff. And when they start talking about some of the, you know, we've always heard, like, how did the Egyptians do it? You know, like all those hundred-ton blocks and stuff like that. A system of levers and fulcrums. And I don't know, this stuff really goes a long way into explaining that stuff.

And it really blew my mind, the whole idea that human civilization has rebooted at least once because we've been a species for like a million years. For like a million years, we've been physically us, right? Think about over the last hundred years. Think like 200,000 years. Think about over the last hundred years, though, how quickly we went from riding horses to flying jets at mach three or four right like that's within the within how many lifetimes two or three four crazy right like like think about how many generations the thousands of generations of humans that have come and gone

it easily could have been that we got to the point of not building cars or spaceships probably that seems outrageous to me but we got to a point where we're like i don't know got swords and we're living in cities and then it all gets fucking wiped away that could happen 10 times to kyle's point like if you're born at just the right time there are people who were alive for the wright brothers and the moon landing yeah yeah a lot of people were alive for that like people were born and then only like 60 years old or something when they landed on the moon. 1910 to 1969 or something like that. It's over the course

of less than 60 years. It's not a ton. It's within the... We're like... First flight 1903? I thought it was 1910. 1910 is cars, isn't it? That's the Model A Ford, I think. I know. I just Googled it.

But yeah, we're going to keep evolving, but we're almost in the point of the Civ game of life where we're in the last quintile of the game where we're getting too big for our britches. Everyone is getting too big for their respective britches.

Oh no, you're telling me civ 6 is coming out in real life we're going to the planet it's going to be shitty i hope that we've gotten to the point where we can stop if this is true right like if this is true that we that we got reset and and i'm telling you like like i i bought the book and i also watched like five or six youtube videos and there isn't a lot of fringe science to this guy now this guy does believe in um using ayahuasca and things like that um he does believe in that stuff and i'm starting to kind of buy into that a little bit too but but but he doesn't get out there too much with like ridiculous bullshit that i found um and most of his stuff really seems to be rooted in actual hard science that

you can measure weigh and look at in your hand i lose it on a lot of those, I don't know, even the genre to put them in. I guess Joe Rogan scientists, when they go whole hog into the ayahuasca, shrooms, these hallucinogenic drugs. They're not just chemicals that alter your perception. They make your life better they change everything they turned humans into what makes them self-conscious like never mind the fact that would require tons of humans to eat lots of these mushrooms all the time for generations right which would make it difficult to get anything done there's a lot of interesting things that he pops up that pops up about that like right remember the the burning bush uh moses in the burning bush that allowed him to see god or that he saw god within um that's the acacia tree

which has uh mda in it that that uh that hallucinogen um it just does that's an accepted fact and um the uh what was the other thing oh cock just uh watch it and i promise you you'll be fascinated i'll give it a shot and uh and i'm really starting to buy into that shit i i it's real it's real interesting stuff you guys want to call it a show call it a show that would be awesome all right uh pkn 138