Painkiller Already - PKN #139

Episode Date: April 21, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

We're live! PKN episode 139. Ah! Thing popped on the screen. It's all good. It was a webcam controller software. Anyway. So how is it? We were just talking about... But we are recording. Yeah, yeah. We are recording. We were talking about The Sopranos just before the show started.

And I'm enjoying the show. I'm re-watching the show now. For people who know it super well, I'm at the end of season four. And Kyle knows it super well i'm at the end of season four and uh kyle knows it really well it's just tony i was saying normally he has a code and while the code's a little fucked up it involves murder here and there at least you know if you follow the rules of this code you can you know he's not a maniac he behaves predictably he would never kill a person for no reason at all he doesn't take pleasure in killing he doesn't take pleasure in that at all he certainly takes pleasure in dominating and asserting his will upon others like he's he's

definitely a sociopath because of the years of violence you know he murdered a man when he was like 10 years old or something like that but this real life killing and moving and stuff is for him like I play chess. And I don't mean to say I'm a good chess player. I just mean to say I don't show a lot of remorse when I take your rook. That was the move I needed to make to try to succeed in this game. I like that approach more than the Batman code,

which when you think about it, think of how many people died at the hands of batman basically because he didn't just get shit done when he could have got shit done when he's like oh i've got this maniac who wears makeup and he's a he's a bona fide psychopath he's not someone who goes off and robs a pawn shop randomly and then goes to his parole officers like oh i've got done fucked up i done It's like, no, there's someone who cuts off fingers of children for fun and he'll catch him and then not end it.

Really, who's worse? Batman or Tony Soprano? I haven't watched The Sopranos. I'm leaning Batman. Tony Soprano. He is worse. He is worse? Taylor makes an argument that I can kind of get behind, though. His community is safe, right? Batman is inherently flawed with that code and that's why i'm glad to see you know in the newest version of

of uh the the affleck batman you know he's roughing people up some people died in that fucking he killed a guy right wasn't there a scene around his mother's kidnapping well it's superman's mother and he's saving her and he kills a couple guys in that scene he definitely like maims many people you know he's branding folks and stuff. But, yeah, I get your point. It's probably a better code than Tony's. Are they confirmed dead in the new Batman? Because there's a lot of deaths in Batman.

Sometimes I just feel like Batman kills people in the same way. Like, if I picked up, like, a neighbor's annoying dog and, like, threw it off the balcony and I heard it, like, burp, burp, burp, burp, and I just, like, walked away real quick, like, it's probably fine. i heard it like i just like walked away real quick like it's probably fine i didn't see anything like he like captures a bad guy and he throws him over and then he goes to fight in the other guy he just has to tune out the and then you know what you want is batman to be like you wanted to get the joker down

the joker to be like i'm never gonna stop it'll never stop it'll i'm always gonna get free and he's just like not this time and just shoots the joker in the head and he's like done fucking done would he have to use some ridiculous like harpoon gun to do it though because it just seems like batman wouldn't have a glock right yeah no he shoot him in the head with that repelling thing he's always yeah like shoot him in the head with that rappelling thing. He's always blasting like... Shoot him in the head with that. He's not going to survive that shit. It seemed like that would do it. But yeah. That Christian Bale war, it seemed like so dangerous when he was wearing it that like

to fight someone, like it put me in that suit, not a trained fighter, and then make me fight Kyle and Kyle's in street clothes. It will be a challenge for me not to kill Kyle just on accident. Just as like, aha! And I'll bump you here. Oh, shit. And they're all going through your chest right now. Yeah, Batman's got those blades on his forearm

there. And if you're blocking a blow or anything like that, you're just maiming the guy. It really would be hard to deal with somebody in a suit like that if they were mobile. But if you watch the movie you watch the movie watch it motherfucker can't turn his goddamn head in that scene like when when they stick the dogs on him and stuff like that's an he's like an owl that's what i was like the entire time i studied brazilian jiu-jitsu people sometimes want me to get back into it and it's like oh the worst part of it was just always being injured. Like, the fact that I can't turn my head, that's just about a given.

We just add up from there. Like, oh, I had a bad thumb, twisted knee, sprained, rolled ankle. Like, that's all in addition to a neck you can't turn, which is just a standard. That's a funny comparison from your age and your perspective. Because, like, I'm sure when you were 20, when you were age you're like whatever i'll do this fucking forever like if i mess up my ankle a little bit give it a couple weeks it'll be fine it'll be fine i'll take it easy for a bit i'll just you know do all my activities on one leg now you're like man i really want to go do jujitsu again but uh walking without pain is something i want to do the rest of my life. I care about you.

Meanwhile, you got Anderson Silva over there. What's Anderson, like 41? Getting ready to fight at the next UFC event? I do have fewer steroids than Anderson Silva. I don't know what Anderson's on these days. He's not on the good shit he used to be on. He was 41.

He was about to fight that Kevin Gastelum guy, and guess who got popped for steroids? The other fucking guy. So I think Anderson's – Well, it's worth noting because I – look, when I see someone on – When I see someone pop for steroids or estrogen blockers or like this is usually something we use to mask steroids, I just put them in the steroid category. But Gastelum got popped for marijuana

was it yeah so that's different to me yeah of course it is yeah night and day yeah well what a goddamn shame sorry sorry that he doesn't get to fight i wish they were making more of a case out of that they said failed drug test and i was like well shit i gastelum didn't look like like usually with steroids i what I associate with steroids is a really low body fat really low body fat but it'll be on a guy who doesn't have that kind of

cardio that you develop from getting that low body fat content usually guys who have super low body looking like a Bruce Lee or something like I bet he had cardio for days right I bet it took him so much goddamn cardio to get that body fat down to 6%, which is where it was when he

didn't enter the Dragon, that he could run for days. 6%? Yeah, 6%. But then you see these big hulking UFC guys, especially maybe three years ago or so when it was rampant. And they're really low body fat, but those guys can't get out of the third round.

They're all gassed. They're relying on going in there and smashing somebody in one or two or three rounds joe rogan used to describe them as v8s they're like he's like look you get this guy's a v8 he's got a ton of power and that's great but that guy sucks down fuel and you know come at the end of third round he's out of gas and i was like god yeah somehow that just worked for me the last ufc event was full of uh all kinds of stuff we should save that for pk because i think it's pretty interesting and i want to re-watch the fights a second time yeah i am i spent a lot of time this is the co-main event i think kyle's talking about mostly i spent a lot of time looking at that knee and where that ended the fight. Yeah, we can save the talk, but I've got a gift that shows it frame by frame.

So I got caught up on Walking Dead. That's how we got into Sopranos. Sopranos is infinitely better than Walking Dead. Yeah, I think so. Although I will say, Sopranos is over and Walking Dead could be Star Trek-like in its continuance. It wouldn't surprise me. Like cult following?

It could be days of our lives-like. It could be 50 years that this thing goes on. The whole cast could get replaced. Or we could just pop up in another community with the Walking Dead universe. And in the same way that Star Trek did. So to say Star Trek is, I'm sorry, to say Walking Dead is not as good, it's like, well, score's not posted on that one.

It could turn out to be really something. Well, they haven't. Yeah, that's really something they could just do infinitely. Like, just as soon as one troop, it's like, man, 70% of these people are dead, and we're losing viewership because nobody cares. All right, we're starting the same thing. This time, it's a group of people in Memphis,

and we're just picking up right around this same time. I think the star of the show is Rick. I think without Rick, you don't have much of a show. Rick is why I watch the show, and he's what I like. He's the best actor out of all of them there. He's the one who, like, I don't know, like he's always breaking down and fucking tearing up and crying and shit. That doesn't do it for me.

It does for me. When they meet the garbage people and he sees them and he smiles. The garbage people? They live in like a landfill. Some of the fans call them the fans. They're known as the garbage pail kids. At this point, they live in a garbage pail? Not a garbage pail.

They live in a community inside the garbage. So a lot of communities have found different and interesting survival techniques, right? We found a small one that lived in a prison, and then our group came in there and partnered with them, etc. And then that's the thing, because the prison is a really nice fortress, but there's dead people in there, and then even the live people there maybe not as trustworthy as an average i don't know and that's an issue you had another guy who like he did a

fun he was a priest he did like a food drive and then he just survived for like a year on all the food while other people were pounding on the door saying please help me and he's just being selfish um different people like found little sub the gated communities and just made the gates really good. And this people, these people found a landfill and they're just like, dude, this landfill is a bountiful harvest of apocalyptic, useful items. And that's how they survive. So it's interesting. One more. I don't know. Is it like a real landfill or is it like a junkyard wars landfill?

They're like, we got to add some stuff to our buggy quick. Six minutes later, they're like, I found two swords. We haven't explored it yet. As a kid, I had no concept of the fact that they had planted those items in the junkyard. And so the most stressful part of that show as a kid watching was like, oh, man man I'm baffled that these people are finding shit every time you'd think that everyone Oh that propeller they found isn't the right gauge oh they up. Oh, thank God another one Yeah, you know there's like producers like ah shit, that's the wrong propeller, you know Can we move the right propeller on the edge of their project?

shit, that's the wrong propeller. Can we move the right propeller on the edge of their project? That's absolutely what they did. They would submit plans. The garbage dump is bad CGI, honestly. It looks bad, like the garbage dump. And I will say this, The Walking Dead in general, their CGI

is shit. It is shit. It is bottom fucking television tier from their fake looking tiger to their tiger I'd like yeah, I thought the tiger was real. Oh No, he's green screened, but I think the Tigers real Um, I don't think the Tigers fucking real He does not look real to me

Maybe there's some scenes that have a real tiger in them like for close-ups But like when he's moving and he's like sitting there oftentimes like just on a chain He's been watch some what this this is the deer scene in Walking Dead. Oh the deer. Oh my god The deer looks like so I have a watch like Cabela's It looks so much more real than this deer when I'm playing Cabela's 2016 I feel a little sorry for the elk and the bear cuz they're like when you shoot them look at this deer all right are you guys queued up at zero yeah the deer is terrible ready set play I just muted mine so that deer doesn't look too bad that's right there it was standing still so it looks fine let's see what happens to me even when it's standing still from the he's gonna climb this thing to get

A better angle he wants to kill it to feed his girlfriend. Yeah, I think earlier in this episode He prevented the girl from getting a kill and I was trying to make it up She had killed the deer and he and she had to give it to Negan instead of oh, oh my god. This is here That deer is shit that How hard is it to get a goddamn deer? Right? I don't know. I could let him. There's some...

I saw two on... When we were in Colorado, I was like, Hey, you wanna get this zookeeper to come to our place with a bunch of monkeys and stuff? Look at the deer! It's terrible! The deer's shadow isn't going the right direction. Okay. That's... the deer it's terrible the deer shadow isn't going the right direction okay that's that's man that's that's a whole new i always feel bad for the actors a little bit when i see that because the actor themselves is just gonna go there and be like you know be told all right you're gonna climb up here and you're gonna look down like you see a deer and that

you're gonna kill it and so they go up there and like Or even worse if it's a monster where it's like you're gonna see three Monstrous trolls or like whatever it is and you look and you see him and they have to be like oh oh oh Just at nothing and then they watch that clip later of them going Oh at just the shittiest weakest most awful-looking CGI monsters, and they just have to sit there and watch and be like, oh, god, I'm a part of this. That was

shit tier. That was shit tier. I, uh, but, but, but, I have mixed feelings. The zombies look great. That's where they excel. They have a really good FX, uh, group. I've met some of those people. Yeah, because it's makeup. A lot of it's makeup, um, and it varies from, like, a mask that, that, varies from a mask that probably costs $30 or $40.

Some of the background zombies are wearing masks, but the foreground zombies are really intricate makeup and stuff. I had a friend who got to be one of the zombies in The Walking Dead. It goes way back to season three, I think. I think that she kills one of the governor's main men or something like that. She's like, kills him. You get to see her face. She's got these big green fake eyes and everything. It's fucking cool.

But man, that CGI is shit. As far as the second half of season seven, and season seven in general, I guess, I have really mixed feelings about the whole thing some people felt like it was one of these series lows like season seven was one of the worst of all after season two which generally agreed upon to be the worst season two other people feel like season seven was not that bad and they enjoy the slow burn that that brings it and i like some slow burn i liked

um i wanted to talk about that because i didn't oh well yeah i i didn't feel like this was a slow burn um because i gorged it right like i watched it all at one or i binged it i watched it all at once um i watched like nine consecutive episodes one day i was like let's fucking get caught up on walking dead and you know it was like oh well that moved along pretty nicely i i don't know if i had watched over the course of nine weeks yeah yeah and maybe that's a failing of the way we're taking the the show in not so much the show because i promise you if you'd watched it all in in one thing you're like okay that leads well into the next one and then it like the whole bit with Carl going off and his whole interaction with Negan. I think that showed so much into the way Negan's mind works.

There's that scene where Negan's like, let me see what's under that hat and that bandage, kid. Come on, take it off. And the kid takes off his hat and takes off his bandage, and the kid's been shot in the eye. His eye is gone. Eye socket's gone. it's gruesome yes and and negan's like holy fucking shit that is gross damn oh no wonder you keep that shit covered up kid fuck you know and the kid starts crying and negan is caught off guard he didn't expect that because his kid's been kind of a badass not only that but he's kind of

unaware that that he's affected he's gonna affect the kid in any way he realizes that that he's like spoken without thinking almost he's like oh shit kid i didn't mean to fucking hurt your feelings and all god damn it tell you the truth that shit looks hardcore that'll scare the shit out of people it might not be a hit with the ladies but that's rad as fuck but there's even a part where he tells the kid like you know what my my impression of you is you're a badass i think it's the word he uses yeah don't go ruining that volume don't change my impression or i'll kill you or something like that carl asked he's like what are you gonna do with me because like carl stows away goes to negan's like fucking camp and uh and like jumps out the back of a truck with a machine gun and and in the in the comics

he kills six of them in the show he kills two right away and negan's and they capture him everything and negan's like we've got a guest he's so impressed by this kid uh and the kid asked carl asked him what are you gonna do with me He's like, shit, kid, don't go changing the way I look at you. I picture you as a serial killing badass. Don't shatter my image of you now. Because he is, right? He's grown up during this whole zombie thing, and it's made Carl into a real different kind of human being.

The next step in human evolution as far as this world is concerned. Have you read the comics and gotten to the end of negan's story and or what comes afterwards the uh well maybe not the end of negan's story but have you gotten to uh the end of the war there's like uh i am well into the whispers is where i think your head is cool yeah if i'm behind on the comics it's only by a week or two yeah okay yeah you're quite caught up. Yeah, you're farther ahead than I am because I know about the Whispers and what they are, and that's about it. I was like, ooh, this will be good for whenever it happens, like three years from now. Ah, yeah, no, they're in the midst of a Whispers battle in my timeline. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff to take from that uh those graphic novels uh

i just don't know how i feel about it i i enjoyed it i watched the whole thing but it was not excellent it was not great and i felt like there were a lot of moments where i was there like god damn it that's bullshit that wouldn't happen that's fucking horse shit like don't write yourself into a corner and you won't have to write yourself back out of one. It's so simple. It's not like, oh, well, we have no choice but to live in this, you know, write stories in a zombie world. I guess they have to be stupid. Like, no, that's not the case.

You have a choice so you don't have to write your characters into a position like when they're at the gate and all of the trash people have them at gunpoint. Everybody we care about in the show is at gunpoint. And anybody who's ever held a gun knows that what it takes to make a gun go off is the slightest twitch of your goddamn finger. And it happens in a tenth of a fucking second plus a quarter second of your reaction time. Done. It's over. And there's this moment where there's a mild distraction. And it isn't even a distraction that would distract any of the people holding the weapons, and all of our heroes turn around, turn around 180 degrees and start

blasting away at the bad guys. It's just silly. If there had been an explosion that knocked people on their feet, if there had been a flash of light that literally blinded people and our heroes knew to close their eyes, if there had been gas attack, or if there... Anything! So anything but what

they did is there a problem with it yeah but some guy from 15 feet away went they saw a rare bird like literally what it is is a zombie surprisingly comes on the scene one zombie tackles one guy and everybody's like oh kind of caught off guard when this happens. And then, like, an army of people fuck up in that moment. But all of our friends, all the people we care about, they don't get distracted. They don't fuck up. They immediately turn around and take advantage of the situation. Like, they're all telepathic.

Like, Picard just gave number one the fucking wink or something. Cletus, the friendly zombie, right on schedule. Now, boys! And then they turn around and shoot. It was interesting. It actually was a friend. Or were they not even in cahoots with the zombie? They actually were in cahoots with the zombie. It's pretty fucking cool. It was the big

payoff of the episode was that one of their friends had been taken captive by Negan and his badass fuckers. And they present this person to his friends in a coffin. Open the coffin up and they're gonna go like, this is your friend. Brought her back to you. But she's alive in the coffin. It's just kind of a

show kind of thing. She's alive in there, but she killed herself along the ride to there. So she would be a zombie when he cracked her open. Of course, she would have to know that he was going to stand the coffin upright and stand right next to it and then go, ding, ding, ding.

Not necessarily, no. All she needed to know was that they were going to use her as a bargaining chip. So she just removed that chip. It turned out that by doing that, she was able to save the day. I bet suicide becomes way easier in the zombie apocalypse. We're probably just on a random random wednesday at some point you are like there's just one more thing that happens we're like you thought you were going to get to sleep in after a long hike and then a zombie at like 4 a.m and you're just like oh my god

you kill the zombie and they just burn that's interesting because that happens they come upon scenarios where it's already happened. They're always scavenging through houses and stuff. They go in this one house, and there are all the children in their beds, shot in the head with a towel over their face. There's the mother in a bed shot in the head with a towel over her face, and there's the father in the bed. The dad has murdered his entire family and then himself

and left some note or something. There's lots of times where you come upon that. There's one time where you come upon a guy who's like a zombie who's sort of blocked into the back part of a restaurant type thing and there's a note that says, do what we couldn't do.

It was some family members who couldn't kill their brother, father, son, whatever. Lots of dark shit like that. And that's where the walking dead should draw from season one that real shit so end of season one they're trying to get to like the center of disease control and there's a scientist there he's on top of the game he understands this why is everyone laughing i was laughing because he goes that real shit it's like that real shit and there's a there's a big line in the show where

the guy's gonna he has a way to like kill everyone in the building and so that they don't have to live through this horror and uh they let rick and his crew out and he's like you know oh thank you so much and he's like you won't thank me later and and that just like it keeps coming back when people watch rick in a really bad situation they like, this guy told him that he was not going to be grateful for letting him live. That letting him live was not the kind option. And sure enough, they've had a really bumpy road. I bet he's happy that he's lived through all of it. I bet he'd do it all again.

I'm glad he's got his hand in the show. His hand? Oh, does he lose it in the comic he loses the hand pretty early in the comic and the show and the comic writer that Kirkman guy said that he regretted that and I guess like some of the things that he messed up

or felt he messed up in the comics he's tried to write as he influences the show and that was one of them I hope they don't cut the guy's hand off the show keeps fucking with you about Rick's hand like there's a scene where he's like look i'm either gonna kill your son i'm gonna cut your hand off he takes his sharpie and draws right where he's gonna cut it and everyone watching is like oh my god are they gonna sync up the show with the comic are they gonna sync up the show with the comic and and then i think at the end of season seven

there was another reference to rick losing his hand i'm gonna take negan get some back negan keeps giving and i wanted to get to this that i think negan isn't that bad of a guy negan is not a monster he is just a you know iron fist kind of ruler guy he's he's not taking any shit but he's got a code he's got a system and like after like the fourth time of him threatening rick punishing punishing Rick and just let but but still letting Rick Go on and live He's got him on the ground like Rick and his son. He's got that goddamn barbed wire bat He's like so I'm gonna kill Carl. I'm gonna kill Carl I'm gonna hit him in the head as hard as I can he let you know

This is Negan like like he spells out the horrible things that are about to happen to you And you just sit there shaking in fear. I'm going to hit him real hard in the head. One solid lick, because I like him. Because I like him. And then I'm going to take your hands, Rick. I'm going to take your hands with Lucille. And Rick's like, go ahead.

Take my hands. Kill Carl. Told you already. I'm going to kill you. Rick's so fucking hardcore someday I'm gonna kill you kill my son do whatever you want but I already told you I'm gonna kill you

no matter what it's coming if I were a Negan of a universe and I assume he's just the regional warlord, basically, like running some protection racket for food, if I were that guy and I ever had a lineup, doesn't matter if they're as intimidating as Rick, doesn't matter if it's a small girl,

anyone ever says to me, I'm going to kill you. When I get out of here, you're fucking dead. That person just said their last word like there's i never am going to be that evil warlord who's waking up one morning and then into like a knife blade on my neck and some like 17 year old boys like you thought i wouldn't remember my father and i was like oh fuck like i'm dying right away yeah that's coming That would be hard too, though. Because you wouldn't want to chop people's hands. You'd have to be like, where's the food?

I'm going to chop your hand off. I'm not telling you where that food is. All right, you get four more chances, dude. I don't want to do this. This is going to be gross. He gives them so many chances. He doesn't want to kill Rick. He doesn't want to because Rick is a unique kind of guy.

He really is well-suited to this world they live in. He's basically feral. He's ferocious. He's intelligent. For real. He's intelligent. He's resourceful. He's incredibly good with other people,

whether it's manipulating them or bringing them, rightly so, to his side. He's the best, and Negan sees this. He doesn't want to expend this valuable resource. He's got a band of thugs with him. them or or bringing them rightly so to his side he's the best and he can seize this you know he doesn't want to expend this valuable resource he's got a band of thugs with him you know like rapey bob that he's he's like uh he can't but he has a code and he sees that here's a guy that he wants on his fucking team and he's trying to like crush this man and break him like an animal and bring him into his service that's what he does he he doesn't just want power the thing isn't like i'm happy to be here in post-apocalyptic shit land i don't and i'm the ruler of that he wants more deegan wants to rebuild society he's just got a real harsh way of like

forming the new society you know interesting about negan he is not down with rapey stuff no and you know when the rules break down there are a lot of guys it would seem in post-apocalyptic society who are like you know what let's get a little rapey every other animal in the kingdom does it i think it's time for us and and you have like walks in female prisoners and just females in positions of weakness as they tend to be next to any guy alone and uh negan does not allow that rapey shit. Yeah, that's a good point. Like, this zombie apocalypse ever does occur.

Like, there's going to be a lot of newfound, like, cropped up murderers and rapists and shitheads who just do stuff for the fuck of it. Like, before it even gets, like, totally bananas. You know, not like walking around on this road six months in and you see someone and you just kill them or rape them for the fuck of it like even before it even gets like totally bananas you know not like walking around on this road six months in and you see someone you just kill them or rape them for the fuck of it like two days in during katrina yeah look at all the rapes and assaults and murders in uh at the super at the superdome back during katrina like yeah it doesn't take long for society to melt down and we become pretty feral ourselves it seems especially in big groups like that concentrated together it doesn't work. Yeah, you get the crowd mentality where one person does something crazy, and then you go, well, I can do something crazy.

Or, oh, well, that person just did something crazy, and they got an extra bottle of water. I'm not going to be the person who doesn't do something crazy and misses out on water. Or 10 people are doing something crazy, and you feel like you can't do anything to stop 10 people. Yeah. I like his code, though. I like the anti-rape thing. stop 10 people yeah yeah i like his code though i like the the anti-rape thing um you know he walks in he walks in on like one of his guys in the early stages of like raping a female prisoner he's like ripping at her clothes and stuff and he's like what the fuck is going on here and the

guy stands up like sorry negan he's like were you were you about to rape that woman? Is it, well, no, no, shut the fuck up. You were about to rape that woman. God damn it, what am I going to do? And he just sticks a knife in his fucking belly and fucking kills him right there instantly. And then he starts talking to the woman. He's like, you see, I'm not a monster, but I got people like rapey Bob here

that want to break the rules and when that happens you know people die and so this is what it's great i like that he has these rapey bob i think that's what he called like rapey joe or something like that it's like yeah i like this he's he's not a rapist he's he he has a code he follows by and he really doesn't in a lot of ways i like negan and i think rick could have become negan if he'd just been in a slightly different group if his group had been put on like your post-apocalyptic like cv he's like oh negan starts fires not a rapist excellent it's such a low bar of morality that someone not being a rapist is like, wow, this guy's got his head on straight.

Starts fires, doesn't need insulin, not diabetic, and doesn't rape. I really like this guy. We talked about the communities, and Negan's community is set up in a way that's pretty similar to our modern day lives if you really boil it down because you've got all these guys who work for him and that work is scavenging or enforcing um you know the the agreements which are very one-sided uh with the other groups so you know basically extorting people but they get paid in points and then you spend those points in the store for the items that were scavenged by everyone so everyone's scavenging and piling this shit into the store, and accruing points as they scavenge, and then you purchase what you want with points.

So if you need insulin, that costs points. If you need bread, that's points. Everything is points, right? And, uh, I don't know, it seems like a good fucking system. I think that Rick could have easily become Negan if instead of, like, women and children and suburbanites, he had had bikers and thugs and rough, tough customers that needed a firm iron hand to be like, you raped, you get the iron.

You know, we've got to nip this in the bud, you know? Does Taylor know what the iron is? Taylor doesn't know what the iron is. I don't know anything about this show. I've made a lot of inferences. As a punishment in the show, they take an iron. It's an old-timey iron. It's the old-timey. It's not just heated up on a fire. They put it in a furnace

like a smelting furnace, and then they bring it out with big gloves and a long hook. Then he takes that iron with some more big gloves and he sticks it to the side of your face when you've broken a major rule. Now two times i've i know about it happening it happened to dwight that works for him and it happened to another guy that

works for him both of those people slept with negan's wives plural um but those wives in both scenarios were the men who got burns former wives because. Because what happens is, if you want to marry Negan and leave your husband, the point system doesn't matter anymore. Everything's free. You're off the point system. So maybe you're a hot chick who has a mother who needs insulin. You might leave your husband and marry Negan so that your mother gets her insulin. So the entire...

Okay, no wonder this guy's anti-rape. He has an entire harem of women who he gives free shit to, which just means, hey, no raping for you. I'm going to go back to my palace room in this fucking Marriott or wherever they're living and have sex with all these women who don't want to have sex with me at all, but they will because their kids are hungry or whatever it is. Like, yeah, this guy. I'm souring on his

moral compass, Kyle. I'm not convinced anymore. I like to watch Taylor put two and two together. Like, oh, wait a minute. This guy who kills people with baseball bats wrapped with barbed wire might be bad.

What's great about Negan is there's a few characters in the show who aren't bad enough to warrant, say, Rick killing them. You know, this guy isn't an outright villain. He's just a douchebag, you know? Like, whenever there's a decision to be made, he'll take the cowardice way. He'll take the me way.

He might fuck the group to just secure himself a bit of safety for a moment. Hoard some food, maybe. Hoarding food. There was a character just like this that lived in Rick's little community, this douchebag, literally a polo-wearing douchebag. So this guy tries to go and sidle up to Negan when Rick's away.

Rick's off scavenging for Negan, risking his life to bring back tons of weapons, like all these guns and ammo he found. Meanwhile, the polo guy sidles up to negan and he's like hey i'm carl or whatever his fucking name billy bob or whatever the hell and like they get a while in the conversation and negan's like so you want me to kill rick for you and you'll take over let me think about this rick's out there and his voice is raising every second rick's out there busting his ass for me right now bringing me god knows what kind of goodies you are here and you're afraid of him

you want me to do your dirty work for you you know what your problem is you got no guts and then he sticks a huge bowie knife in the man's stomach and disembowels him right fucking there As fast as I just said it and he goes oh My mistake. I was wrong there your guts are Just inside of you Holding his guts. It's Negan is whenever Negan's on screen. You're like All right, he sounds like I mean, this may sound weird. He sounds like a less evil Ramsey.

Right? Because Ramsey likes to torture people. Negan doesn't like inflicting pain. That's what I'm saying. Negan is less evil than Ramsey. Ramsey delights in inflicting pain. And Negan seems to be someone who likes everybody around him to think that he doesn't enjoy inflicting pain but he seriously

does I don't think he does I haven't seen the show he tempers his own violence a lot he really wants is this the man who burns people with irons yes the man who sleeps with his wife

does he beat people with bats wrapped in wire think about the to be fair I'm sure that it was a henchman who did it he obviously isn't a serious someone who just likes to murder under the auspice of protecting others like that wouldn't be what he did right he whooped him with that bat

that you know why he whooped him with that bat I don't need to watch this show very important he killed one of them with a bat. He was like, look, you killed 30 of my men in their sleep while they were at work, because that's what Rick did. He went to a place where 30 of Negan's men and women who worked for him were, crept into where they stayed

and stabbed them in the skulls while they slept. Killed and murdered them all, thinking that was all of Negan's men, when it was just one little band of them. Outpost. And so Negan kills one of Rick's men. He's like, I gotta let you know, that shit ain't cool. He's like, that shit ain't cool. And then

somebody jumps up and tries to hit him and he's like, hey, hey, you get one for free. But the next time that happens, I will shut that hit him. And he's like, hey, hey, you get one for free. But the next time that happens, I will shut that shit down. So he kills one of them. And then another guy jumps up and takes a swing at him again. He's like, I just went through this. I was just laying the rules out to you 30 seconds ago. I said, I have to kill this guy because you killed 30 of mine.

Seems like a small penance to pay. And I said that you get the first one for free when that guy tried to hit me. And the second time, what did I say? I will shut that shit down. Well, back to it. And he kills another one. He fucking turns around and smashes the guy that everybody loves

and just beats his eyeball out of his head. And now he's painted as some kind of a villain. This is something I like about Negan. Every time he kills someone, right? Like, sometimes the offense is, like, minor. You know, they back-talked or something. Like, with the girl, I think he killed...

The girl was, the fat chick, didn't she back-talk him or something? Then he killed a different person for it. Fat people should really be walking on fucking eggshells in the post-apocalyptic world because that would immediately he's like wait a minute you've got her keeping inventory of your food i don't know rick i don't know i think that's i think i know where the food went

and then later on he that that same woman says Negan, she's like, we're practically starving here. You've taken everything we have. And he goes, and by practically, you mean not at all. And she starts fucking crying. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And you see him do that. That's twice you've seen him do that. So that's why I think that

that used to hurt people's feelings. That should be the big punishment in the apocalypse is eating to the point of getting noticeably fat. Because it's like, hey, those love handles, this isn't 2017 anymore, buddy. That's just not you eating too many Cheez-Its.

That's two kids that could have eaten for a month. What happened to the last person that didn't get enough to eat? They starved to death, and now they're in a fucking hole somewhere. You're gonna join them, aren't you? Or whatever the fuck this maniac says to people. Speaking of shows that we're re-watching, have you guys

re-watched House of Cards at all, or have you only watched it once? So I'm watching it again. I re-watch every season. cards at all or have you only watched the ones so i'm watching it again every season i start like like i watch season so i've seen season one like three times i guess so you know every time it starts over i begin at the beginning and catch up see i haven't done that i i just watch as the new seasons come out and i in like a week ago i was like i'm gonna watch the whole series again and i don't know if i was just like so into the show that I was like letting all the nonsense just fly by the wayside. But rewatching this show, they should have just called this show. Everyone except for Frank, Claire and Raymond Tusk is a blithering idiot who is trying to buy a bridge somewhere.

Every one of these people in this show. Like I remember watching it the first time and thinking like, God damn, Frank Under underwood he is so clever coming up and just and doing all these things and wheeling and dealing and now i'm watching it and it's just him lying badly to people and then people being like you know frank that's an excellent point where the where he'll just go he went into the vice president's office in the first season and he's like you know they need a governor of fucking pennsylvania and he's like i'm the vice president i'm not going to be the governor and he gives 20 seconds of well you know i'll bring it by the presidency is just to make sure he's not thinking anything else about it but i wouldn't put it past yourself you're incredibly popular in pennsylvania

and as my grandfather said don't knock over your opponent's pieces unless you're willing to pick up the mess, or whatever fucking nonsense he fucking says. All those stupid phrases that mean nothing. That one that I just said, I made that up. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. That's what all his phrases mean. They mean fucking nothing. And he just, he bamboozles person after person into making

stupid decisions, to the point where he tells the president, like, hey, you know that thing that everybody doesn't want you to do with China? You should do that thing with China. Like, almost laughing at getting the president to do stupid things. And he goes and talks to Raymond Tusk, the guy in St. Louis, the billionaire who's controlling

it all, you know, in the early seasons. And he's the only guy in the whole show that goes, Frank, are you trying to ruin the president? That was it. no no i am looking out for the very best interest of the president mr tusky you're so far away i don't know you quite understand what's happening on the hill or whatever the fucking nonsense and and it's like holy shit just watching that scene i'm like no one has called him on any of this like in real life if

someone was like hey you know the guy who was in charge of getting the vice president to step down was also in charge of picking replacements of the vice president and ended up just doing it himself now he's telling the president to do something that's wildly unpopular that could cause him to lose the senate majority meaning that impeachment would actually get rid of them or like whatever the fuck it was you know like nah just a bunch of uh you know threads dangle and nothing connected it's like no this this whole show only works if everyone in the in this weird rick and morty universe where everyone except for kevin spacey that fucking swedish looking bitch and the fat bald guy from saint. Louis is retarded. None of them. It's almost upsetting me because I was so convinced

that Frank was this master manipulator and it was so clever and good and now just watching it, it's like, God damn it. I was bamboozled. This isn't clever at all. Having a guy go, he's so confident that he's right but I couldn't be more sure that he's wrong. Exactly, Mr. President.

It's like, what what i don't know i'm getting a little i i think watching too much of it too quickly i'm getting worn thin you watched lincoln uh you thought it was too long uh it was definitely too long um and if lincoln gave one more speech or irrelevant story i was going to turn it off in all seriousness i love the fucking stories. Just pretend like it's goddamn Abraham Lincoln for real because that's pretty close. I have to imagine that Abe Lincoln had a sense of urgency

because he's a president. And this Abraham Lincoln could not have been more relaxed in every situation to the point that I think it was like, I don't know, it was midway through the fifth hour of the film. It's two and a half hours and goes to start another conversation where they're like lincoln you know the fucking this that and the other thing and the uh um the democrats are not

all the ones that said that they would vote to get rid of slavery all the democrats said no we're voting to keep slavery and so you lost all the influence you thought you were gonna have and he's like well did i ever tell you about about my great-grandmother's carrot patch and it's like oh oh my god when he does that one of the senator one of the guys in the room literally goes is he gonna tell another story if you tell another story i'm leaving and he starts he carries on the story and the guy fucking leaves and he leaves i was just i was talking about that exact scene because that is the only thing that let me finish that movie

is the fact that that character piped up and said, oh my god, if he tells another tale, or like whatever the fuck he said, like, as soon as he said that, I'm like, alright, I'm not alone here. This guy understands. I'll watch the rest of the movie. But if he, like, that is a movie that could have been

45, 40 minutes shorter and it wouldn't have That is a movie that could have been 40 minutes shorter and it wouldn't have lost a thing. It would have been better. It was a movie that is almost up its own ass in how long they took to do anything. And I don't like that. I like seeing him on screen. I re-watched There Will Be Blood that same night you watched that

because I fucking love that shit. I will say, without Daniel Day-Lewis Daniel Day-Lewis without him as Lincoln that movie is unwatchable. that because i fucking love that i will say without daniel day lewis is that yeah daniel day lewis without him as lincoln that movie is unwatchable okay it's not just bad it is unwatchably bad because if you listen to the dialogue itself and the actual discussions about politics it's it's it's retarded it's not at all how things happened in those days i had to like pull up a fucking wikipedia I'm like, this doesn't seem right. What the fuck is... What?

Back then, people just in the middle of Congress there was no rapport at all. No decorum. It was all just Ah! This man is a rapist! That kind of shit. It's like, no, that didn't happen. He's a negro lover!

Ah! What will we have next? Votes for women? Harum! Harum! Harum! Everybody got mad. No, not at all. You know what that was? That was some cunty liberal writer going, all my friends are gonna be so happy that I put this in there. Of all

them going, hey, look at this scene of all the white guys. You know, the ones who are also responsible for all the freedoms. Look at all these ones, all the shitty Democrats. We won't mention that they're Democrats because this is right before an election and we don't want to do that. Because you know how they actually did that? The writer of that movie said

when they asked, like, hey, you really played down the part about slavery where all the Republicans wanted to get rid of it and all the Democrats wanted to keep it. Oh, I thought they played it up. I thought it was constantly there. It was all about them. There was a good deal of that, but there was in this question where this guy was asked, he's like, yes, well of course we all know the parties have shifted and before such an

impactful election we didn't want to confuse the voter base. It's like, oh my God. If that will confuse your voter base, then, well, you get Donald Trump's president. That's what happens. Yeah, if that confuses your voter base, because I really hope that people aren't watching Lincoln and being like, man, my political

views are changing rapidly throughout this film. It's like, oh god, then you didn't have... They did deserve their freedom. Perhaps they did deserve that freedom Perhaps they did perhaps the dr. Savage is fraudulite. I fucking watch Oh John Adams watch that on HBO if you have intended to it's another one where it's not as good as I want it to be I like a big yeah Paul Giamatti such a big Paul Giamatti fan that I want to like it a lot.

You would enjoy it. I've been thinking about watching that. I've watched their fucking There Will Be Blood for like the fourth or fifth time ever. I fucking love Daniel Plainview. He's like, my name is Daniel Plainview, and I am an oil man. And when I tell you I am an oil man, you will believe me. And what I do here is very much a family affair. This is my son, H.W., and my well in Coyote Springs just came in,

and I can get the tools very fast, and the lumber as well, and these things come by friendship in a rush, and it's like, oh my God, this guy is such a goddamn sociopath. He's the best. He's so fucking good. When he blows his gasket at the end,

bastard in a basket! Bastard in a basket! it's the intensity level of that character is you don't see that in very and it's sustained there is no there isn't there isn't too many times where daniel playing to you goes i think i'll have a bit of lemonade and enjoy the day like no no no he's always fucking like at a nine or a ten it It's one or the other. They have that meeting with Standard Oil or whatever. And they're like, we'll make you a millionaire sitting here. He's like, I'm going to come to you one night while you're asleep and I'm going to cut your throat. What? Daniel, why are you talking crazy and saying you're going to cut my throat?

I am going to come to you one night while you sleep and I am going to cut your throat. Don't you ever tell me how to raise my family don't you ever tell me how to raise my family don't you tell me how to raise my family and they're just like oh my god this sounds like in that movie is a guy who's trying his best to seem reasonable and calm but all he can get to is that quiet voice where he's not quite talking the way normal people talk and his voice his mouth is enunciating in a way that people don't enunciate and it's like that's not like he's so high strung that that's as low as he can get apparently that was the accent of california at the time because he's insane and and so like he made sure he like hit that accent because like the the lincoln accent is like indiana slash kentucky right for that time period like he's a madman with these

accents i watched that video that's like every daniel day lewis accent it's like maybe eight minutes long but he's done like six or eight movies so it's like a minute devoted to each one and his accent is changing from like and it's different time periods too it's like 18th century posh american accent and then like 17th century British and then it's like Ireland like street thug guy and then it's like London street thug guy and then he's gotta be the New York accent for Gangs of New York

and it's incredible I'm a big fucking fan so intense he bashes that guy's brains in with that fucking oh Paul Dano or whatever Dano's his last name the uh the actor who plays the priest eli eli your brother paul he was the chosen one eli they should have put you in a jar on the man you eli who who slithered from your mother's filth and Eli's just bawling like crying

stop crying stop crying little man you really have watched this movie like four times in the last week I love that shit so much man Eli oh man I love that shit that impression by you that is right up that's one peg down

from your Slingbite impression. That's just almost as good. I fucking love that movie. If somebody's listening and you actually haven't seen There Will Be Blood, it's so goddamn good. I watched that and then I watched

No Country for Old Men this week. I re-watched that one as well. Remember, it's There will be blood, not Blood Diamond. Absolutely. Blood Diamond is a lesser film. It's not good. Not good. Oh, I have an update on

politics stuff. Have you ever heard of Paige Carter? Yes. I have. The name sounds familiar, but I don't know who that is, but I've heard the name many times. Okay, so I might even be messing up. I'm 60% sure his name is Paige Carter. It could be Carter Page. Carter Page.

Yeah, but he's an advisor to Trump. I don't know if he's still there, but he was a campaign advisor. And it looks like the Obama administration, I'm not sure, but while they were campaigning, they got a FISA court warrant to tap this guy's phone, approved, because they believed that he was colluding with the Russians. And I'm reading this article, their story, I think it's the Washington Post or something,

it's kind of blue, the art of the news source. And I'm like, depending on whether you wear blue or red colored glasses, either this totally, like, justifies what Trump has been saying, like, ah, I told you my phones were tapped, I know I said Trump Tower was wiretapped, but they wiretapped my man here, so, you know, he's a guy that I talk to, and then that's, like, wiretapping me, like, so he's a guy that I talk to, and that's like wiretapping me. If you wear the red glasses, you wear that. If you wear the blue glasses, it's holy fuck. This is even more smoke with regards to Trump colluding with the Russians. A court actually approved a wiretap on this guy to catch him in colluding with the Russians.

tap on this guy to catch him in colluding with the Russians. And I guess time will tell which of these glasses is right or both or whatever. But I don't know. I just thought it was a pretty big story. Like a Trump advisor got a wire tap approved against him from the FISA court and let the spinning begin. What's FISA court? Is that financial? No, it's a request to.

Do you want to go? It sounds like you might know. I heard the Ben Shapiro show, so I don't know a hundred. Like, I don't recall exactly what he said. He explained it very well. I will not. Tell me if you think this is right. It's like a fast moving court that approves internal government stuff.

Does that sound right? In regard to gathering information on foreign officials. Okay. And so basically what it was is they – So the Obama administration put those FISA requests in for people in Russia and around so they could tap them. And then – so when people say that they wiretapped Trump, it's not true. uh... you know put those fights a request in for people in russia and around so they could tap them and then uh... so when people say that they they wiretapped trump it's not true it's like more they transitively like they tapped these people

and then they were seeing who they were talking to the illegal part is what susan rice did when she revealed those names because if nothing illegal was taking place you can't just say uh... i'm revealing this american citizen's identity uh because fisa doesn't allow you to do that it only lets you like if something's illegal taking place then yeah you can you can reveal that and take proper recourse but if there's nothing illegal you're not allowed to disseminate that information uh which she did to the state

department and so that was what that thing was about as far as fisa is concerned and so like the way i understand it is like the people saying that he was wiretapped are wrong because he wasn't wiretapped the people saying he wasn't being surveilled are wrong because this is a way of being surveilled in a roundabout way but the real but even that's not

the legal I don't think the only illegal thing is revealing the names and disseminating it it's routine and normal and expected to be The only illegal thing is revealing the names and disseminating them. That's the illegal thing. It's routine and normal and expected to be tapping conversations with the Russians, like the Russian ambassador and certain key Russian players. So if you're calling them, like if Kyle's phone's tapped for some reason. Can you guys still hear me?

You're frozen on my screen. Okay. If Kyle's phone's tapped for some reason and I call him, it is wrong to say that they tap my phone right you know like that and that's what trump is saying but trump's advisor i guess yeah if you talk to i was caught up in the web of kyle's surveillance you know incidental surveillance that's that's what it is yeah yeah what it is is if you call a russian diplomat a fucking switch flick somewhere, whether it's physically or electronically, and they start recording everything you fucking say. And there's a transcript of that that exists in an enormous database in every fucking phone call that's ever happened like that. Same thing is true for that.

Right. Now, but this time, the actual target was a Trump advisor. So – What is this guy? He worked for Google? Look, I've heard him called a Trump campaign advisor, and that's where my knowledge ends. It sounded like he was legitimately like Trump campaign payroll,

and they were surveilling him, right? Not a Russian that he called, him, anyone that he called, because they believed he was colluding with the Russians. And then like I was saying, depending on whether you look through this with a blue or red lens, either it's more smoke, like, oh my god, the CIA believed him to be colluding with the Russians,

or, oh my god, Obama's so dirty, they actually did surveil Trump people. One of those, or both of of those that's a thing yeah yeah there's too much of like like it's so easy to want to just believe one thing but like so many things can be true at once you know like it can be true that there is uh you know trump was roundabout his administration was being targeted and having information disseminated. That can be true. And it can also be true that

Obama did not target Trump with wiretapping and shit like that. It's almost definitely true. It's almost definitely true. It is definitely true that the Russians wanted Trump to win. They hated Hillary. They had problems with her. They had all these agencies and online

astroturfing and stuff. They might be regretting it now they might be but um because that same shit happened everybody yeah yeah but the the they wanted donald to win and whether donald was saying like what no i have nothing to do with that whatever or kind of cheering them on and being happy that you know like oh hey any enemy of my enemy is my friend like you know and it also seems consistent with a lot of trump things to not know that what he was doing was such a big deal you know thinking like yeah you know they definitely wanted him to give trump that excuse as much as other people like people oh he's such a fucking idiot, such a dope. Like, he's not. He's not a stupid man. Like, I think that if it does come out that he did something that was, like, totally, totally illegal, and he says, like, I have no idea, unless it's, like, some obscure law.

Like, I would think that he knows. For, like, the same, like, he's had to be careful with legal shit for a long time, being a billionaire. So you would think that he would not... I don't know. I just think there's a lot of lawsuits. Every contract is drawn by another guy. Every contract is double-checked by another guy. I've heard him in his depositions.

And I was listening to his deposition reading because I was looking into this conspiracy theory that he's not able to read. I don't buy that. I'll just carry on. No. And there's a point in the deposition where they ask him, you know, what does this document say? And he's like, you want me to read it?

He's like, well, we just want your understanding of what's in front of you. He's like, well, I don't have my glasses. Well, we can blow it up. Make it big for you. Well, I guess I could read it. Blow it up and bring it back, and he's like, well, it's like basically what it says here is that I'm liable for anything.

Well, could you read this part? Well, it says I'm liable. It says I'm liable for all the things, right? It's just like it's this weird thing where it doesn't seem – Do you think it was – but even that – It's like he's Mayweather. Even that is not – like if i saw a businessman and take trump out of it okay just just billionaire number six put him in there

and he does that same song and dance that same song and dance of i don't know if we can blow it up i don't know if i want to read it well it basically says this i i immediately look at that and go that is someone who knows they probably did something wrong and they don't want to read this passage because it will elucidate more clearly what they've done wrong or what they're not allowed to do. Because obviously, if the passage said, you can continue to do exactly what you were doing

and don't even worry about it. Get up, get some lunch, enjoy yourself, and see you tomorrow. It did have something to do with tenants and liability in a housing situation. It was something like that and he didn't want to read it perhaps so perhaps i i want to change the this subject i know we're almost done here um i watched this video the other day i don't know how it got in my related videos

but it's called it's eight minutes long so we don't need to watch it but it's this guy jaco willink or something like that i guess he's kind of famous. He's an ex-Navy SEAL. And the video was called Navy SEAL on martial arts. And I wanted to hear. And I went into it thinking that I was going to disagree with him. I was like, I bet this is a guy who says something like MMA is stupid. Like, you know, what we do is like, you know, in the field and, you know, you never see us. I expect him to have this high and mighty attitude. Yeah, I've seen that from a lot of guys you know the military martial arts trainers just say you know what if i was in the ring with anderson silver he would beat me at the

sport if he came into my world i would kill him right that's yeah yeah that's right i expected something like that from this guy he starts off and he's like people ask me about self-defense what what style do i need to go with to learn self-defense? What do I need to learn? What kind of techniques or grabs or holds or what sport should I engage myself in? He's like, a gun. Get a gun because that trumps everything. Get a gun.

Get trained on how to use the gun. Get a concealed carry permit for the gun. And then none of that other stuff matters. Get a gun. Get a gun. Get a gun. Get a gun. And then he moves on from that he's like and then if we're if we're really talking about being actually prepared physically to defend yourself and you know it's jiu-jitsu it's brazilian jiu-jitsu

it all starts there he's like and he goes through it and talks about jiu-jitsu and how like a guy who's just a little bit trained in jiu-jitsu will just tap this other guy he's like usually got to tap him four five times in a row, and then they get it. You've got something they don't have. They understand now. He's like, and then after that, maybe Western boxing. That's where you learn how to punch people in the fucking head.

You know, that's good. That's good stuff. And he's like, also you learn how to keep distance from someone. The normal boxing you see. And also you learn how to keep distance, which is important too. And then he's like, then I think he said maybe Muay Thai. It's a different kind of striking. He's like, and then maybe some wrestling, if that's what you want to do.

And then, of course, if you really want to get crazy, you learn knife fighting and stick fighting and all that stuff. It's an eight-minute video, so it boils down to all that. But I loved how he started with gun, gun, gun, gun, gun. Forget about karate chopping people he's like if you think you can take on five guys that ain't gonna happen like like another thing he calls out and i think i've seen this video yeah i'm almost certain is uh if you're a woman he's like if you're a woman gun gun gun gun even if you train you know martial arts for six

years you might still lose but with a gun you'll win you know that's the equalizer and yeah yeah well he didn't say and i don't kyle has experience with this i think pepper spray is a decent second place i i think here's why i i have some pepper spray i have some like oc spray that's like tear gas and pepper spray and yeah if i if i shut and in my thought process i'm like i don't want to fucking shoot some maniac who's like causing a problem with me at the gas station but i might fucking tear gas his ass he's a drunk oh god that would deal that would do the that would do the trick but my thought is like you can power your way through it i think and and. And what if he's got a knife, right?

And he doesn't need to be okay in 30 seconds. He doesn't need to be able to see. He just needs to be able to run at me and stab me a bunch of times. And even though he's blind and in pain, he's still stabbing me. And I'm in a lot more pain, right? I'm dead. A gun is just going to fucking trump the shit out of that. But I like pepper spray.

I'm telling you. When I got shot like pepper spray. I'm telling you, when I got shot with pepper spray, I wanted no more of anything else that was going on. And it wasn't a choice that I was making. It wasn't at all. The choice was being made for me. My eyelids felt like they were turning inside out and flipping up.

But I was blind. Like, it felt like that. I don't know what was actually happening. I guess there's just a lot of pepper spray under my eyelids but it's fucking awful and you can't breathe either with the OC spray. I never know what OC stands for. It's like Obsessive Capsulin

or something. What did you say it was? Original content. It's not what it stands for. It stands for some real bad shit you don't want inside of your body and and when you inhale that stuff like the amount of snot that comes out is startling you're like this is all snot right like my brain isn't leaking some sort of fluid right like this isn't stuff i need because so much snot is flowing and uh the burning doesn't stop for like 20 minutes completely incapacitated but still like like But still, it's like that thing runs out of juice.

You keep it in your glove box. The aperture might get dusty and when you go to squirt, it might shoot some weird stream like when you try to piss after having sex and it just kind of... Dude, I have a story about that. What's the moment of truth you pull out the pepper spray

and go... and get it on the guy's shirt? Let me jump in. My wife had a pepper spray little bottle on her keychain. And I'm in college. It was before I trained in anything or whatever. But I always felt like I was a little bit of a badass because I had that ace in the hole, right? I remember I saw some guy I thought arguing too roughly with his girl.

And I just hugged hung around a while you know in case that guy needed to be pepper sprayed you know knowing it was there it's like if you've ever concealed carry a gun not that you look into trouble you just know that if trouble went down like you kind of know you have a gun you know like that's a thing I kind of knew I had pepper spray and then whatever five six years later we were like you know what let's do it let's make the pepper spray go off it was like a fire extinguisher with no pressure like it had just leaked and became not a weapon somewhere i'm sure there was a dried up clump of pepper spray in the bottom of that little can and it it you know yeah it was it wasn't it didn't work saber red is the good stuff s-a-b-r-e

red that's that's what we say right now i was trying to find out what oc stood for but i didn't come up with it it's like abscission camo caps i can't even pronounce the shit it's it's a long work um no i can't um but it's awful right i my wife had it and that's what i got shot with it was a little smaller than that there was just there little keychain, and it had a leather-like pouch for the pepper spray. Her father had bought it for her because sometimes she walked from classes to her car in a parking lot. And, you know, it's a good idea. Actually, maybe I should do that for my daughter. I ordered some off Amazon the other day.

It was like $12. It's about this big, about that big around, and it's this, it's, I, I test it. I always test those things because of the scenario you just described. And I just gave it like one of those and it's fucking, I'm like, Oh yeah, that'll do. That'll do. Yeah. This particular one. I think that when you used it, you like broke a seal. Like you couldn't just give a one second squirt, like a fire extinguisher. I don't know if you've ever like made one of those.

And then just expect that thing to leak out. Like you've extinguisher. I don't know if you've ever made one of those. And then just expect that thing to leak out. Like you've broken the seal. You need to take it to someone to get it fixed again. Really? Not all fire extinguishers? I thought that was all fire extinguishers. Well, you could pull the pin on a fire extinguisher, then put out a fire, and then sit it right back down.

And then the next day, pick it up again and put out another fire. And then the next day, pick it up again and put out another fire. And then a year from now, pick it up again and put out another fire and then sit it right back down and the next day pick it up again and put out another fire and then the next day pick it up again and put out another fire and then a year from now pick it up again and put out another fire mine i swear i know this to be true i spray it a little bit and then you come back four days later and that little pressure valve has gone to the red and it's done yeah okay so i don't know i use um we use the co2 not co CO2, but is it type C? I buy bunches. Look at the ratings. Yeah.

Yeah, I buy bunches of them at a time. I can get them for like $6 a piece already charged. And I don't know. I like playing with fire extinguishers. Oh, yeah. No, mine are like $50. And I usually make – like the cheapest one, they're like, hey, this puts out wood. And it's like, no like no no because sometimes my

fires are like grease fire scarier than that yeah you know it's yeah normally it would be 50 bucks but i'm going to the place that um like refills them and he's got some that are no longer like serviceable so you couldn't refill it and then put it in a business because of the like federal requirements that oh your business needs a type b fire extinguisher eight feet from the stove you know they have those requirements with restaurants and such but like so this can't fill that need anymore so it's not worth very much but i'm gonna take it in the field and like do something silly with it so right right it's just for whatever fires the firecracker started yeah or if i'm doing something else silly with it i like shooting those things and making them explode and put stuff

out that's fun again and i like spraying them too. That's fun too. My cousin and I broke into a factory when we were like 11 or something. 12. That was like back behind his house. And we like had a fire extinguisher war. Because in the movies it's always in the movies a CO2 fire extinguisher. Go back to Tremors 2.

They're trying to defeat the thermal vision of the graboids. And so they shoot themselves with CO2 and they cool way down so they don't appear with their body heat temporarily. And so we thought that's how it was, and we're spraying these things in this building and it tastes like salt when it's in the air, but it's this thick

choking smoke, and it was so bad we were almost overcome by the goddamn fumes. We're like running upstairs trying to get above the fumes. What is that stuff? What is that stuff?

It was awesome. Not a good story, but I finished my taxes today. I am so drained. Today? I still have to send out the payments and shit, but all the actual shit is done. That's where I am. Mine are in envelopes stamped with checks signed but they're not in the mail yet

and I just hated it. I started my taxes a few weeks ago and what I in my process anyway I like to do my own taxes like one of my degrees is in accounting and I feel like I'm supposed to and I have TurboTax. And when I install it and enter the first of my information, I've broken the seal. And then I'll just take 1099s and stuff and like, you know, just make. First, I do all the data entry and then I go through all my expenses and I just chip away at it. Until today when I was like, you know what? I'm going to just get this thing behind me and I finished.

And I hated every second of doing my taxes. It was awful. It sucks. Can I ask why don't you have someone else do it? I mean, I know you have that background, and maybe you're like a retired mechanic who would never change their own. I think that's a good comparison. Yeah.

I've done, I was going to say thousands. That's probably an exaggeration. I've probably done 1,000. You did hundreds, though. You've done i was gonna say thousands that's probably exaggerated i've probably done you did hundreds though you've done it as your profession like yeah i guess that's why but like i always i've always had someone else do those things i i just do it and i didn't like it think of how many man hours we would save if it was way way simpler and easier across. Across the nation? Yeah, across the whole country. Ah, well, think about all of the tax professionals who would be out of a job.

Think about the IRS employees who would be out of a job. Look at these job-killing ideas. All those IRS employees could go find a much better job in the private sector. They'd love it. Dude, I got a couple thoughts on this. One, look for a job! Most this. One. Look for a job.

Most of the tax code rules are good ones. People have this idea that tax code is unnecessarily complicated. But what happens is some stripper writes off breast implants, and now we have to set up a rule. Is that a business expense or not? It is, isn't it? It is. That actually went to court, and now strippers can get breast implants. But prior to that, they were getting

busted because they were writing them off and people were like, no, these things are for personal use, not for professional use. There's a debate that could be had, but I agree with what the tax court said, that if a stripper gets breast implants and those are Yeah, in the same way, if your contractor bought an F-250, like

what, he's not allowed to take his kids to school in the thing? No, actually. He's supposed to write off the percentage of business and personal use and divide it up that way. That's what they should do with the titties. That's what they should do with the titties. Oh, that's hilarious. It's like, oh, you're only using these 20% for work? Someone's a bit of a whore.

80% of people getting to knock these around for free huh like so the tax code odometer on them titties like every time i learn something like okay the um the the rate at which you can write things off right a lot of things you can write off just i take it all this year but if it's like a durable asset like a building or something i think buildings are 39 and a half years. And that's about right. And there is a good reason why you shouldn't be able to ride off a building in five years. And there's a good reason that you shouldn't ride off

a horse in 40 years. It's one that's different. Yeah, farm equipment, is that five years? I had a friend who knew everything off the top of his head. I had a friend. You'd ask him top of his head. How long do you take it over? I had a friend. You'd ask him, like, hey, what's the IRS class life on a pig? And he'd be like, ooh, like foreign or domestic.

And he's like, what? I didn't know there were two. And, you know. Common. But, yeah, he knew everything about it. He just had it locked down. But, you know, computer, it's five years. I think that might be a little long.

And all these rules had to get created because people were like, well, heck, if you ride off a horse over the course of 50 years, like a racehorse, then you're probably exaggerating your profits, right? Yeah, that bitch only lives 30 years. And he probably only races, what, five? I'm making that up. The stud money has got to be... I feel like... I don't know shit, but... I've been to the horse auctions in Kentucky

and maybe for sales or something like that and I've heard all these crazy stories about these Japanese guys and these Arab guys who are also both like... There's these Japanese like Car guys like that's how they made their billions And then there are these these Arab oil guys who are infinitely rich and they all compete to buy these ridiculous Thoroughbred horses that can be millions of dollars and oftentimes they purchased this crazy expensive horse

And they're like never race it only stud Only stud him. And they move whatever. But he's the descendant of two Triple Crown winners and Smokey's ghost and Billy Bob's mother and the Tycoon West. And the bloodline's here. And they're like, he'll be a stud horse. For I say it shall be. And then they just do that.

They talk about the money that gets thrown away on this fucking thing. I shouldn't have chosen an area in which I'm so ignorant. But if you run a small snowplow business, you write off that truck over 10 years. If you write it off over 50 years, you're exaggerating how much money you make. You're wearing that truck out.

If you write it off after two years, then you're exaggerating your business expenses. And all these laws got made because somebody was a bit of a dick and tried to bend the rules. Carried interest right now is a problem where people run these mutual funds and hedge funds and say that the payment they're getting for it is actually interest and dividends, when in reality they're totally just charging a percentage of the fees size. And it's not interest. Who's not you say what my money is for right it's like all right we tax interest at this much an ordinary income at this much and

they're like oh well my payment has declared interest and you're like yeah and it's like the fuck you know so that was one of the things it's actually in trump's campaign he said he was going to fix that uh it's too we'll see he's coming up with a tax plan but um uh yeah so all these rules have to get like fixed and people are like oh no you think that shows too complicated it is but it's the fix for a thousand douchebags a million a million the united airlines thing on p.K. That's going to be a good one. Yeah. All right. Call it a wrap. Yeah. All right. Painkiller nearly episode 139.

Wait. I nearly hit the wrong button.