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pkn 145 i want to talk fitness how's everybody doing good yeah i'm doing good overall um
cheated on the eating some this weekend because i went uh fishing and went on like a couple day
trip with my dad and brothers so but even then like if you feel like shit about yourself as
you're eating cheat meals it it deters further things especially like this is what i've
i found to do it's like if i order just a regular cheeseburger on the like menu i consider like i
really amp it up in my head how much of a cheat day that is when a really severe cheat day would
have been getting like the whiskey river barbecue burger at red robin that's like 2000 and that's
such a fucking good burger.
But if you just convince yourself that it's way worse than it is, then you don't get that
out of control.
Because by the end of the day, when I was tallying it up, it's like, oh, I had a cheap
day and I ate like 2,600 calories.
That's not horrible.
Less than what Kyle's eaten.
How many calories do you think you burn a day?
I don't know.
I used a calculator.
I probably said it wrong.
Fuck you people.
I used a calculator and
it said I was between
2100
and 2500 on a day
depending on how active I am.
You mean like one of those websites where it tells you your basal metabolic rate or whatever it is?
Yeah.
It's got to be more than 2,000.
I don't know.
Mine's probably like 2,200, 2,300, 2,400.
I don't know.
I wish we could get some sort of like legit scientific numbers for that, right?
Because whenever you're just filling in data on on a website you're getting this broad spectrum just it'll any any size fits everyone kind of bullshit that doesn't
incorporate maybe like you know our i don't know our our our body chemistry and what we're eating
and what we're doing and stuff i i know that you can get to like determine your exact fat content
you can do that submersion thing where they put you in water and anything that weighs more than they can calculate that way they're not weighing the
water i guess they're determining your actual fat content and i wonder if there's anything like that
for your basal metabolic rate i've calculated mine a bunch of times it's usually some it's usually
like you know 2,000 2,200 2,300 somewhere in there so yeah yeah, I had no idea. Like, yeah, I would hear like, oh, this thing costs 6,000 calories cost, right?
And I'm like, yeah, right.
You know, like this is my budget and this is what I'm spending on each thing.
And I was like, I really don't know how much I burn in a day.
And to me, like if you had told me 5,000 was normal, I'd be like, oh, yeah, because I really
didn't know.
But there it is so
my range is somewhere i think like 21 to 2500 like it i had a really active day saturday um
that's actually teaching people to fly i served as like an assistant instructor and uh that's just
on your feet 90 degrees wait wait an assistant instructor or an assistant instructor because i
wouldn't like that actually i know you do it the way i say
you get the fuck out of here i kind of jumped in because i i saw the other instructor was being
very harsh right like this is a brand new thing he was an insistent yeah he was and like i would
like pull the wrong brake and the wing goes to the ground he's just learning to kite the wing and uh it's like why are you mad at him like this guy literally has 10 minutes experience doing this
and you're pissed he's not good you know like it this is hard and uh so i was just like here
you know let me lend a hand and i ended up lending a hand all day long and burnt some calories that's
good like i see it the same
way with the side i liked how you say it that it cost something because i really think that's the
most effective way to think about it because otherwise you just can like you know take it's
so easy i almost did it you know just a few minutes ago and i was like what i want to get
for dinner well i have plenty of stuff to make at home or i could go to kidoba and i was like oh
but can i afford to spend a thousand calories because i'm not going to go there and get up
with something that i don't want to eat get the bowl the bowl isn't bad um i've gotten um that
not from kidoba but from uh chipotle yeah i go and get their bowls and uh it's whichever one has
the brown rice that you can get because i get i get the burrito places mixed up, but I get the brown rice and make a bowl of that
and I don't feel bad about eating that at all,
especially if you get double meat.
I don't feel that bad about it.
Like, you know, that's what I do when I get bowls there
is I get brown rice and double meat.
Yeah.
But, like, as I'm going through the line of all the ingredients,
like, I catch myself stopping on all the things that I usually want.
Yeah, sour cream and cheese.
Where they're like, do you want our Diablo queso?
And it's like, I do, but
forego that. Do you want lots
of cheese and sour cream and guac?
No, just lettuce.
Just lettuce and a heap of vegetables.
Is it possible the guac is okay?
Because, you know, the avocado has
many good properties to it.
I'm always thinking about vitamins and antioxidants.
I put the guac in.
I just don't like it that much. I'm not willing to spend.
That's it.
Sometimes I look at food that is not on the good list.
It's on the naughty list.
And I say, are you worth it?
And most of them are not, at least for me right now.
I'm down eight pounds.
You know what?
Most of last week, I was just barely hanging on to seven.
I ignore decimals when I give my big round number,
but I knew in my head, like I was weighing 213.8, 213.6,
and I was like, I might have a seven to report next week too.
You know, like I'm not going to lie.
And then come Friday, like clockwork, like the last three Fridays in a row,
no special accommodations.
It's not like I went outside and
sweated and came in. I just
rolled out of bed, hopped on the scale, and I was down
eight.
Yeah, you're on a good path then.
So I went camping this weekend
and I usually have my
cheat mail on Thursday for whatever reason.
I think Colin has parkour or something.
But this week I was like, Woody,
I don't think you're trending towards a new number.
You know, let's skip the cheat day.
And then it turned out on camping there really wasn't a lot of choices.
So I had my cheat day for Saturday night.
But bottom line is I'm down eight now.
My kettlebell's in.
I did my first kettlebell workout today.
And I just went, I just Googled for it.
And on it, Joe Rogan's, I guess's company has a beginner kettlebell workout with 10 exercises to do.
So I was like, oh, well, I'll just do that.
You didn't give me yours, did you?
No, I'll write that out to you right after this.
Yeah, I'd love to see it.
So I was like, well, I don't have any other place to start.
So I had 10 exercises, and they had a written description and a video of each one.
So I was like cool and uh um so now i got i sort of broke the ice on that i whatever like i mean just unboxing them and putting them in place is your first kettlebell i got a little i got a
little tucker just putting them in order my wife had it right by the front door she moved it four
feet and called it good and uh so i uh but yeah, so I broke the seal on that.
No skateboarding today.
It's raining outside.
But I've been, you know, on target.
I've only had one cheat meal per week for the last month or so.
And I'm losing about a pound a week.
I go on the Keto subreddit.
I see these people losing so much faster than me.
And I, I don't know know I would love to have a
phase where I start losing two pounds or three pounds a week I don't know what
they're losing though exactly because that ties into the that's what I started
looking up calories burnt per day like these people are losing two and three
pounds a day and I was like is that all fat you know they know yeah it would be
a lot of water weight it would have to like a
little bit of fat and if you lose weight like i know from when i lost a fuck ton of weight a
couple years ago like in the midst of the weight loss you're like all right losing fat losing fat
and then at the end of it you're like oh god damn like i lost a lot of muscle in this process as
well because like if you cut your calories that much and you're not working out a lot or eating a ton of protein, you're just going to start to atrophy.
Yeah, I don't think that's my scenario.
I am working out and I am eating tons of protein.
So protein is a primary part of my diet, really.
The diet is so much harder than the working out part.
diet is so much harder than the working out part because like it's so easy to ruin it with the diet where you just are like oh you know just just swinging by wendy's for lunch today can't be that
bad i'll eat something healthy no you won't no you won't because there's nothing there that's
healthy like you have to is they have a salad but i i don't know i had the salad like a month ago or something.
I was nearly forced to go to Wendy's,
and I walked away thinking that it was on the good list,
but I still don't go there often.
So the salad is not on the good list, unfortunately, because of the dressing.
Well, that's on you.
I didn't have any dressing.
Oh, no dressing.
I think I might have used less than a packet.
Salad without dressing is like anal without lube.
You just don't fucking do it. Just don't strong point yeah that's silly um the dressing is usually the killer uh but
i like um like vinaigrette or oil and vinegar something like that it's tangy i don't like the
raspberry vinaigrette that's fucking nasty i don't want any raspberry in my life at all
much less on greens um but as long as you don't get the cheese and stuff but at wendy's
um i haven't done it recently but i there's been a couple of times where like you just gotta work
fast food into like a healthy lifestyle one way or another if you're if you're out doing stuff
it's going to happen you're hungry and you you know it's better to eat bad than it is to starve
yourself if you're if you're like trying to get your metabolism in order and live a healthy lifestyle.
So sometimes you do that.
But what I used to do is if it was McDonald's, I would order two grilled chicken sandwiches
plain.
And then I would take the chicken out and I would eat the fucking chicken breast.
And it sounds terrible, but McDonald's, the way that they cook their grilled chicken,
they put the grilled chicken breast that's already like marinated and covered with lots of spices and stuff on a grill and they put like this metal ring around it and
pour water in and then cap it and sort of they sort of like steam grill it with uh with all the
all that seasoning on it and it's really tasty it really is so like i would just eat those like a
caveman while i drove or i'd go to w Wendy's and they have these grilled chicken wraps and I would
get those plain and I would not eat the wrap I would I would just I would just pick the chunk
of grilled chicken that's like two fingers worth out and I'd eat like four of those as I went
doesn't sound like a good time but it's uh you feel better after oh yeah don't you knowing that
you didn't indulge yourself too much the trick is to stop thinking about food as a reward
or as like, oh yeah, once I get all of this done,
then comes dinner.
Like a lot of us get into that mindset of like,
yeah, meals are my reward for the work that I do between them
or meals are what I'm waiting on.
That's what this all builds up to for today.
It's that big dinner tonight.
Just get rid of that.
Forget that whole mindset and think of food as fuel and and nutrients and vitamins and you know for your body don't think of it as
like a pleasurable thing and things will go a lot easier for you that sounds awful right i'm sure
you're right but i'm not there no no yeah you've got to get to the point where like sugar like
hurts your teeth and it's just that's too sweet i have been pretty disciplined about low sugar uh and and also well i have found that i crave it less and i used to drink water and
i've talked about this before has that been hard for you like cutting the sugar more than anything
because i know that you're like the big thing you turn to that you like a lot is like lemonade or
like sweet drinks or juices and like lots of sugar has that been the hardest thing to overcome i
swear it was
harder when i just dip my toe in it like because there were a lot of times where it'd be like you
know what i'm only having like a you know cran raspberry for dinner right and with lunch i'll
have water and then that lunch would be like oh my god like this sucks so much and then with this
round i just like you know what done You know, the sugar's gone.
And it wasn't long.
It was only like four or five days before I stopped missing it.
So, yeah, it turns out maybe that's why alcoholics and heroin addicts do it the way they do.
You know, they just stop cold turkey.
They don't be like, you know what?
I'm cutting down to one-third the heroin I used to do because
it doesn't work. That's true.
Yeah. I've heard the heroin addicts
who allow themselves an allowance
of it do very poorly.
Well, no. See, they go to the
methadone clinic, right? They get the artificial
heroin, and that's the same thing as you going to get
the diapepsi.
Yeah, that's kind of true.
The diapepsi is way less bad for you. The parallel is falling apart in here i i don't think so i
don't think you've done enough methadone i have done very little methadone thinking about food
as numbers makes it easier if you're just like like if you really cement your your thought
process like you have a budget in your head like I really try and keep it to 1,700 calories a day right now because that's lower than what I probably should be eating with as much as I'm working out, but I'm trying to lose weight.
And so I figure if I do cheat, I'll get mad at myself, but it might only be 1,900 calories.
So I get the benefit of the self-shame to encourage me in later days, but also the cheating isn't as bad.
How's the mental side of it?
Are you proud of your accomplishment?
Are you happy?
Are you still nothing but disappointed in you?
No, I'm starting to feel better about myself.
When I yell at myself in the mirror now, a lot less is shaking around.
And I'm like, all right, I'm starting to look pretty good up here.
And I'm like, I'm still disappointed.
And I got to this point, like, like, like, like, I'm not, I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
I love this.
That's the last thing you say is like, I love you.
And like, you turn the light off.
You know what I do?
You know what I do sometimes when I'm doing it is like, if I, I can tell I'm really doing
a good job shaming myself.
If like, I've just been like staring at like my belly in the mirror for a while like shaking it and i can't
bring my and i haven't looked in my eyes in a while and i'll be like look at yourself in the
eyes what have you done what are you doing and i did oh it it sounds so silly it's so effective
it is so dude i that the success i'm having now represents failure of 18 months ago right like i
see 212 on there it's a notable improvement from 220 when i sit in the car with bad posture my uh
like i have a belly over the bottom like lap belt part that i'm very unhappy with so i was driving
home yesterday i think and it was like, you know,
this is not where I want it to be,
but it's measurably different.
Even eight pounds,
I can feel the difference in that belly.
But it's like, no, Woody.
Look, 2015 Woody would have been like 212,
you fucking piece of shit.
It's not time to celebrate.
You have more work to go.
Oh, and this is a fucking thing so
related topic my uh my um my mother-in-law is here with us and she has friends that came and
visit her yesterday i haven't seen these people since i got married 21 years ago they came to
the wedding and uh she sees me and she's like oh looking me down careful oh yeah yeah
you were thinner yeah i was fucking thinner 21 years ago for fuck's sake that's how you meet me
that's how i can't believe you didn't drop the hammer like yeah yeah you were younger
yeah dude what happened the fuck happened it didn't even stop there i was like yeah you know
i'm working on it and uh and then like i like i wasn't hanging out with him or anything but i
guess jackie gave him the tour of the house or something and they see me again they're like
no one should be heavy in this house there's so much walking
i'm like are you fucking kidding me
and i was like you know yeah gain the weight while i was making the money and uh they're like well
that's okay then like like jesus who says shit like that but they're here rude a rude dirty
wow i would be livid if someone came into my beautiful home after not seeing me for two plus decades
and saying, hey, you've gained a little weight.
And you go, yeah, last time you saw me, I was 25.
23.
Or 23.
Yeah.
So of course things have changed.
Like I have a child who's almost as old as I was at the time.
And I'm still thinking about it.
Or just keep it simple.
Just be like, well, you're still the same cunt.
Just walk away.
You haven't changed a bit.
For what it's worth,
I was not at all short on comebacks or things to say.
I just bit my tongue.
Because, you know, like, look,
for all the ribbing I'm getting,
they're here to see her while she's sick.
And that should count for a lot.
No, no, no. If your mother-in-law said some stuff like this, you let it slide. You're like, hey while she's sick and and that should count for a lot no no if your
mother-in-law said some stuff like this you let it slide you're like hey she's having a hard time
like who knows where that's even coming from if that hey if her picking on me maybe gives her a
little solace let me have it both barrels but it's her friends they're not ill but they're here doing
something nice for her that's the thought process so but yeah anyway it's still on my head
like all she had the top really we didn't talk about anything else except
my weight gain you know like it there was a she just brought it up every time
I entered any self-shaming ladies come over man that would piss me off oh god oh i have to like just go outside yeah i i i did i went to
the southern sunroom and just started like hanging on i was like i'm getting i'm going by myself
that's the ultimate that's the ultimate fuck you to anybody who comes at you you go that's it i'm
just gonna go take a break in my southern sunroom. Nobody else I've ever met has to qualify which sunroom they're attending.
The eastern one's a bit chilly this time of year.
I'm given the geographic disparity in the size of my estate.
It started to snow on the north side of my property.
This house creates its own climate storm.
So the northerly face of it is very dry
and arid because the clouds
are stopped by the peace of the home.
I went paramotoring
today. The north side of my property was a little
windy, so I had to go east.
Still lots of room.
That's good.
But yeah, so anyway,
Shaming's been going great.'ve had some i brought in some help
and uh but the losing weight i seem to be at a pound a week schedule and i like to believe that
it's a real pound they know they're not just like dropping water weight every week or something i
took a pound of bacon last night and i slathered it with half a cup of brown sugar and a tablespoon of Dijon mustard
until it was just kind of...
I really slathered it with my bare hands.
I got it all in a bowl and mushed it
into the brown sugar and the mustard
until it was completely...
And this was around dinner time for dinner?
This was at 4 in the morning.
Of course it was.
This was 4 a.m. this morning.
And I baked it up real good for 20 minutes until it was crispy and then i got it out put it on some racks i'm gonna drip dry and get all the
grease and fat off of it and then it hardens it like the bacon after 20 minutes is already pretty
dark and crispy which is how i like it but after this process it has a hard candy shell on the outside of brown sugar and tangy mustard.
It's delicious.
It's amazing.
I imagine it is.
It does sound pretty good.
I'm about to go on the clean side of my diet.
This isn't going to last longer.
I've gained almost five pounds right now.
Really?
Like 86 or so.
Feeling like shit.
Had some real bad diarrhea earlier.
We're about to go into lots of healthy stuff
and lean meats and fiber.
Is the weight that you're gaining,
do you feel like it's being distributed well
or do you feel like,
well, I can see that five pounds I've put on.
Oh, yeah.
It goes to the same places.
I guess I get love handles.
I get a little bit of a belly.
And I get man boobs.
It goes to my thighs for sure.
But it's a while before it goes to my face and my neck and my arms.
And my arms aren't jiggly or anything at all.
Like everything up.
Most of me is fine.
It distributes in weird places.
But then it comes right
back off from those places first i've noticed like whenever i start losing weight i'd be like oh yeah
like what he was talking about when you're in the car if your belly comes over the lap belt at all
like especially if you're wearing like depending on the shirt you're wearing if you're wearing like
a polo sometimes and it's tight it's like ah there's not even any way to hide that i can't
even floof that up or anything. That's a good reality check.
Yeah, so you definitely see
that go away first. I think it's
because of the way our brains
work when we're in cars. That sort of
inner
brain that takes over
where we're kind of hypnotized.
I'll also notice if I'm working out,
the first thing I'll notice is that I'll be in the car
because I always put my arm kind of on the window.
I'll be like, oh, that's not how my arm usually looks.
Nice.
Nice.
It's working.
So it's always in the car where I notice that I'm like getting fat or losing weight or getting in shape.
That's a good point.
The areas that motivated me the most to make a change, one was kind of of a general i don't like the way my shirts are
hanging on me you know like my chest and my belly and like like look there should be like a flat
chest and the belly area should just all be wavy and not touching you know that that's that's how
a shirt should fit on me and that's not how it was fitting especially when you get into like dry fit
territory yep and then the other is especially
with the wrong like camera angle or something like my neck is not going to be the neck i dream
of unless i have surgery or something like i i could see my father um and where i'm going to
evolve to and then in and out three day operation or three day you know healing period it'd be good
tempting let's lose weight first and see where it stands. Yeah, you do want to lose the weight first. Let's lose weight first before the surgery. But yeah, I can see how I'm going to
age and there's going to be kind of a straight line from here to here. I don't get that beautiful
neck that, I want to say a Hollywood neck, but the truth is a lot of people have regular necks.
Mike Pence neck. Yeah, Pence has a good neck yeah yeah um but anyway
that's an area that i also thought needed some work and i don't know if i've seen any real
improvement yet but i will it's it can't if i keep losing weight i can tell like the progress
in like the mirror shaming in that like in the first part of doing it like i'm i'm now on week
seven of working out and i've worked out at least three times a
week an hour every time for seven weeks now so i haven't missed it yet and i'm really that part's
not is going great but the fact that i'm having to like get into different positions to shame
myself now a little bit like when i was doing it at first it was like just look at myself and it
was like what have you done just look at the way you stand look at the body you inhabit you fuck like but now it's more like i'll like
be yelling at myself and i can't get enough fat to yell and so i'll like like scrunch over and
be like what the fuck have you done like that kind of shit how much weight have you lost do
you know what your weight loss is i i'm like pretty much the same as last week. So I'm down to like 206 and a half, maybe 207.
And where'd you start?
So like 12, 13 pounds, maybe.
So like 219, 220 is where I started.
Wow.
Yeah, you're definitely losing quicker than me.
We'll see.
Part of the reason for me, so I have two motivations to bring in the kettlebell.
One was I like the way Taylor's shirt fits.
It's the full homo, I guess.
But I was like, you know, like we're both making some positive changes, but I like that one and I want that one too.
So that was part of it.
Another is just maybe, you know, raise my metabolism or something, you know, add a little muscle.
Yeah, the more muscle you have, the more you can eat, which is actually very incentivizing because it means you can just eat more but yeah i looked it up one time like how
much how many calories like a pound of muscle burns it's it was a lot fewer than you you would
hope you'd hope it'd be like a thousand right like oh yeah right yeah i got a pound of muscle i added
back there it burns up breakfast and half my daily metabolic my daily burn rate went from 2200 to
3200 with a pound of muscle. What a dream.
Have you guys been taking pictures along the way?
No, I kind of regret it.
I didn't take pictures because I didn't want to see them.
And now I almost want to have a comparative picture.
Maybe I should take one soon.
Well, see, I'm not at my worst yet.
See, we're trending up.
So I may do that.
I'm looking forward to the part where I
cut all the calories out and to see how
fast I lose the weight because I'm going to
really monitor it this time and I'm
going to try to see
what I do.
That's good. I'm glad we're all sticking
to it.
I've been trying to
record my gameplay on
PC. Chiz was saying OBS was the way to go, but it's just not. I've been trying to record my gameplay on PC. Chiz was saying
OBS was the way to go, but it's just not.
I used NVIDIA
ShadowPlay,
which is their thing, and it's like two clicks
and it just does it. And the quality's perfect.
Like, just perfect.
With OBS, it was turning my
gameplay purplish, and
the quality looked terrible.
Like, a third of what my quality
should look like and uh with shadow play it looks excellent shadow play never worked well for me
like i i couldn't capture i guess there were times i wanted my mic and the pc and and like i could
never get the audio either to both work or to be balanced properly like you expect it to be and uh i really love the notion of
offloading it to my video card right usually my cpu is struggling and my video card's coasting
it's probably less true as it ages but uh i just never had good luck with shadow play and it's
it's perfect in my scenario because the game i'm playing that battlegrounds game is very cpu taxing
so it's nice to just let the GPU take over a little bit.
And you have a 1080, right?
Or is it 1080 Ti or 1080?
I don't have the Ti.
I was going to get the Ti.
I still might.
I want to wait, I guess,
until the next edition of the Ti comes out,
the special TIs.
We'll see.
Oh, I didn't know that was going to be a thing.
But for what I've got,
I mean, I'm playing playing 34 40p or whatever in between 60 and 120
frames per second depending on what's going on and what other programs i'm running it's i'm not
gonna get any better than that like i don't i don't know where the improvement would really be
but i'm really loving the game and i was getting so many fun little clips and having so much fun
i was like i gotta record some of this just so i can show chiz so he'll believe
the thing that i just did just for bragging rights i've been yeah yeah i've been playing
uh the squads mode which is the four versus every everybody's in teams of four but uh i realized
that you could unselect matchmaking and you could go in by yourself into that mode so i've been
doing that and i've been talking to the other team um with the with an open mic the rest of your team or the other team
i don't have a team there everybody else's teams of four and just me just just out there so there's
like 20 teams of four just roaming the wilderness and me just creeping around looking for him and
last night i was walking and all of a sudden i heard some chatter in the it's proximity voice
and i heard someone like yeah yeah
there's a helmet right here and I was like
alright then I'm hunting now
and I got them all I got all
four of them the whole time just talking tons
and tons of shit
what was I saying I was like
I'm gonna take your lunch money boy I'm gonna take your
lunch money and I kill him and I
go to cause that's what you kill people and you loot them
that's the main goal of killing them and i'm like looting him and looking at his
stuff and he didn't have anything good i'm like oh this was a poor kid he's on free lunch and i
just kept getting sorry he's like fuck you man fuck you i'm gonna take your buddy's lunch money
too and i just killed him one by one it was so satisfying my that game makes my heart race so
much more than i any other game really i can't think of another game, except maybe VR,
where I'm in a nightmare scenario or something,
and there's a leech scorpion on my neck.
There's a workout plan, VR.
Yeah, I definitely break a sweat when I go into VR.
If I'm doing the archery game, where you're constantly reaching back,
drawing an arrow, and then pulling it back and letting it go even though you've got those like one pound controllers after you shoot two or three hundred
arrows you're dripping with sweat hmm so anyway i guess that's fitness i'm uh simultaneously
excited to still be losing a pound a week and disappointed in my lack of weight loss well over time we'll
all hit our goals eventually and then we'll taper off and then probably a year after that we'll be
disappointed in ourselves again and we'll repeat yeah everyone's like you know oh it's so stupid
because you'll just gain it back yeah well imagine where i'd be like if I didn't do it. I could see where I was trending.
It's not so bad to revert that trend and hold it down.
Why do laundry or the dishes?
They're just going to get dirty again.
Why not just live in squalor and pretend you're happy with it?
Don't you hate that never-ending battle with laundry and dishes?
Laundry is one of my favorite chores.
I wouldn't know.
No, shut up, Woody.
Get out of here.
You're a laundry slave.
No, you need what I need.
It's a magic basket.
I just put the dirty clothes in the hamper, and then it shows up in my dresser.
It's fucking awesome.
Some lady takes care of it for me.
We had a lady who would come over and do the dishes
and the laundry and everything else
twice a week, and it was $100 a week.
That's too much.
You think so?
I don't think you understand the level of dishes and laundry.
We make five, six
meals a day. There are pans piled
up. Every day, I'm doing
dishes for 30 minutes,
scrubbing pans.
Like, it's a thing.
And then the laundry as well.
Like, I'm telling you, $100 was a bargain.
We were enthusiastic about this deal.
And then she got a major heart problem, and she couldn't do it anymore.
So now I got to do it.
I hate doing it.
You save $100 a week, though.
I fucking want that $100 a week.
I don't want
i don't want pruney hands and kitty's the worst she she'll dump like food into the sink and then
some plates will get on top of it and the food has clogged the drain and there's like a millimeter
two millimeters of water down there getting all stagnant and like rotten with the food and there's
plates on top so i don't even fucking know it but i just think oh there's like four dirty dishes in there and a pan on top like a pizza pan i'll clean that
up tomorrow part of why i don't help like jack so dishes waiting to be cleaned should be in at least
a semi-clean state right you know put them in the trash. Yeah. But Jackie will use the sink almost as a trash can.
You have a garbage disposal?
I mean, in the sink?
Not really, no.
I mean, we're not supposed to run it because we have a septic system,
so we don't use it as one, but it is there.
I want one just for her.
Like, I don't need one because I'm an adult,
and I can chink, chink, ch I can scrape my plates into a trash can.
Or if it's cereal, here's a little pro tip
for all of you adults who are listening to this.
Pour that shit in the toilet.
You just pour it in the toilet and flush it and it's gone.
If you have half a bowl of cereal
and you didn't eat all your goddamn cornflakes
because in the sink they turn into a mushy
disgusting paste that's rotten and putrid
and then I gotta clean it.
So with cereal, I finish my cereal first of all into a mushy, disgusting paste that's rotten and putrid. And then I gotta clean it. So,
with cereal, I finish my
cereal, first of all, so that's not an issue with my
head. But if I am, for some reason,
cleaning the kid's cereal, I go to the backyard
and just scatter that shit, like, far and wide.
I was gonna say that. And it just disappears.
Yeah, I don't know, birds get it
or deer or something, whatever, it's just fucking gone.
And, uh,
but Jackie, like, in the sink there'll be
napkins or something and it's like
this is a wet napkin
that was maybe served with the
meal and
you're on your own
woman, you know?
You're creating a perfect vacation spot
for viruses and bacteria and
daring them to start living in your sink.
You can just leave wet napkins and food. She does it every living in your sink. You just leave wet.
She does it every day.
Yeah.
So it's a quick turnaround time.
This happened today.
And in the end, she thought that she was in the right.
It was like, she was like, oh, there's French fries.
Your French fries are in the sink.
And I go and look and I'm like, what's the rest of that shit?
If that even is a French fry at this point who can tell French fries
like you dumped all this in there and she's like could you at least get me the
gloves so I can dig this out I'm like yeah I'll get you your gloves but I'm
not digging that out I'll Bob I'll get a new sink before I do that mess he thought
that's like the same tone is like when you would come home from school after
getting in trouble and your mom would be like to your dad
like, your son called the girl
at school a bitch.
It's like, I'm both your son. If Kitty thought
you were wrong, you tell her
that Woody agrees with her.
She thought it was all about whether or not it was a
french fry or not. I'm like, it doesn't
matter if it was my french fry
that I cut. Even if it is my french fry, that
means that it's food that I prepared for you and then you made a mess with it. That's what that means if it was my french fry that I cut. Even if it is my french fry, that means that it's food that I prepared for you, and then you made a mess with it.
That's what that means if it is a french fry.
But, yeah, I really hate that.
When I had roommates when I was, like, 19 or so, they were the worst.
And it was their place, right?
Like, I was crashing with them.
And I didn't feel like it was my responsibility to be like diving right into their dishes.
They almost never were my dishes.
And they would stink.
They would have them piled up in the sink.
And there was a smell that dirty dishes have.
And it's always the same.
I've smelled it maybe four times in my entire life.
And I recognize that smell.
It's the smell of rotten food in your sink.
Have you ever been in like a dirty Dishes Cold War with anyone before?
Yeah, that's what they would have.
And Trash Cold Wars, where it would just keep getting higher and higher, like on The Simpsons.
The Trash Cold Wars, I lose those any time.
Because eventually I'm just like, I've got to take this trash out.
Like, I've got to get rid of this.
Let me tell you about Trash.
Okay, so I've had a...
Trash is... I've always always in every capacity of my entire life
been the trash guy, the one who takes the trash out and disposes of it.
And it's always been my job to figure out what is done with the trash.
When I, when I lived in apartments and, and when I had shorter driveways, it was really
easy to just take the trash to the curb.
Woody, I'm sure you have a, you've got a whole system now to get your trash to the curb.
It's an ordeal. It's awesome i love it it's one of my favorite jobs it is my least
favorite job probably because i don't have like a special cart with a special hookup and a special
trash yeah we have a golf cart and we just sort of push the cans up onto the thing and uh then you
get to drive the golf cart and usually I'll bring it
like hey who wants to take the trash out and the kids are like I'll come and uh and then we drive
to the edge of the property where they come to pick it up when I was a kid I was uh I was gonna
take our trash can to the end of the driveway and I and it was very very cold outside and I had
waited until like 10 p.m the night before the trash is to be picked
up. So it's nighttime and very cold. And I hop in an SUV and I've got the big dumpster
holding the handle and I would drive the SUV down to the end of the driveway, dragging the
thing down with my hand out the side with the door open, of course, you know, because it's a
big dumpster. And so I get in the car, I open the door, I drag the dumpster up next to the car, I put the car in reverse, and I start
driving backwards. And then I realized my mistake. Because the door, of course, gets drug over the
trash can and goes up and over the trash can, warping the car door and destroying what turned
out to be a very expensive heavy duty city trash can.
And I was just like, God damn.
So I was like, back it on off.
I get out and I like kick the, I kicked the door basically like that comedian
kicked that retarded man the other night.
I gave the door one of those and like, yeah, like kicked it kind of shut,
but it didn't quite make it.
And then back and then just
kept going there was no stop and the trash still had to be taken uh at this point in my life i've
still got that long ish driveway and it's gravel and i'm not dragging a dumpster in it and for a
while they i had a trash man who would come down my driveway to my house and and take it from
dumpsters and then we had a falling out with him i don't remember what happened this is the super trash man yes yeah yeah i haven't seen he's gone since now what i have i have an industrial
dumpster at my home a massive dumpster they come pick it up once uh well they come pick it up
whenever it's full but that could take two months or something like that because it's so big and i
use 55 gallon barrels as trash cans like like the gigantic plastic ones and i use the uh the outdoor trash bags and i have two of them
so when i take the trash you do that in your home you have 50 gallon you just have 50 gallon drums
as trash bags in your home two of them in the kitchen not like the metal drums but like the
biggest plastic trash cans that are made those really really big ones. And I get the biggest trash bags
that are made.
48 gallon doesn't cut it. It's got to be like the
55 gallon trash bags or whatever.
And they're like, I don't know how many mil
it is. Like 8 mil thick.
It's so thick you couldn't escape. You can't even tear
through it.
They put bodies in.
Yeah, you could totally put bodies in there.
And I just dump that into the dumpster. Can we watch just a few seconds of this video together to give a vibe
for how i do it oh i'm there 14 seconds yeah i time stamped it all right uh ready set play
so mine's not playing but there it is basically you you put on the little thing
mine's not playing but there it is basically you you put on the little thing and then you push it up and you drive away it's uh and when you she's using it on a truck it fits into like a receiver
hitch but we have one on the golf cart so we just do that and then we drive to the curb and all is all as well. That's nice. So that's what the metal bar on trash cans is for.
Okay. Yeah, well the trash people come. What a world. Yeah, you know, I don't
know what the metal is. I was gonna say the trash people do it, but they don't
use that. They grab it by the side with like a big hugging hook. Yeah, well this
is a very convenient way. to take your trash out.
Yeah, it's a good system.
It's no problem at all.
Kyle, well, Kyle has a dumpster
so this wouldn't work for him.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.
You said your dumpster can take two months
to fill. I assume it's not like
super close to your home or anything, but
does it ever smell
or anything, or is it just... just yeah like right after it rains sometimes it smells because like the
rain water is like draining through the trash and out so but it's not but it's like only smells like
when i'm right next to it and like dumping the garbage i just don't give a fuck that's
well i mean if it doesn't smell while you're in your house then who cares no no not at all
and the other thing that it's really good for is because we've got so, so, so many cardboard boxes.
I can't explain to you how many there are on a daily basis coming in and out of this home with all the packages that we ship out and all of the Amazon shit that flows in.
And all of the other companies that are, like, pumping in, like, Kitty's products and my products and stuff.
There's cardboard boxes everywhere and it's so nice just to flatten them all out and just throw them into that thing
A burn pit would be good, but I'm in the city
Can't burn. Oh, so you wouldn't be allowed to burn shit?
No, and and you know, they might come and like see what I'm burning and then I'd be like, oh you burned a battery
And then I'm in jail
How is the city that you're in not rural enough that they'd be like well you burned a battery and then I'm in jail how is the
city that you're in not rural enough that they'd be like well you know common
sense you know just I where I am like like like I'm I'm pretty close to it's a
very very small little town like it's barely even a town but I'm really close
to it and I'm in the city limits so it's it's just a no-go same thing with
shooting like loud guns here oh it's nice a no-go. Same thing with shooting loud guns here.
It's nice that you said he distinguishes between loud and quiet guns.
They don't distinguish between loud and quiet guns.
I distinguish between loud and quiet guns.
They're like, look, you can only shoot guns
in your yard if they're nice and quiet.
In your head, Kyle,
when does loud begin?
As long as it's suppressed.
I shoot my suppressed.22 and I shoot my suppressed.45 When does, in your head Kyle, when does loud begin? As long as it's suppressed. Unsilenced, yeah.
Like I shoot my suppressed like 22 and I shoot my suppressed 45 here for sure.
I've shot the suppressed 45 in the house.
Is the term silencer wrong?
No actually, so it's like the cool kids don't like to say silencer because in every little
niche group you'd like to really establish a vernacular so that you can look down on the other people.
Well, and so you can you can figure out who's who. Right.
Like if I hear a guy talk in a certain way, then I know his experience level in anything, whether it's baseball, football, hockey or or this.
So I think that's a big part of it. But silencer is 100 percent correct.
that's a big part of it but silencer is 100 correct uh when maxim first if you if you look in the um the uh the patent description when maxim filed it for the first suppressor he called it a
silencer he called it a silencer the very first silencer was called a silencer and and and
suppressor is just more i say silencer on a show then gun nuts are gonna know that's a rookie way
of speaking unless you go ahead and preface it and say like,
yeah,
I know some people don't like saying silencer,
but Maxon,
the guy who invented the first one,
silencer.
So here's my silencer.
Uh,
yeah,
I've done that.
Is like clip or magazine a better example of that?
No.
Uh,
yeah,
yeah,
absolutely.
Because they're completely separate things.
Uh,
a clip is something that holds a bunch of bullets,
uh,
like a stripper clip. Have you ever seen one
with a rifle? It's like the Garand thing, right? Yeah, yeah.
You take the rifle, you've got your stripper clip in your hand,
and you push them all in.
And actually
with the Garand, the clip stays
in the gun, so that's kind of a
middle ground now that I think about it.
I don't think the stripper clip stays
in the weapon and then pops out.
So that's slightly different.
But there are other weapons that
you just... and then the clip gets
tossed aside. I read that
magazines were first called clips
by World War II veterans. That they called
everything a clip because that's the kind of weapon that they had
in war.
And then, you know, magazines became
more prevalent after World War II.
I guess. That's what I read.
And they just kept calling them clips.
Well, a lot of guns.
World War II, the Bar would have had a magazine.
The Tommies would have had magazines.
All the SMGs, of course.
But, yeah, you're right.
But it wasn't like now where everyone's issued something that takes a magazine.
Certainly not.
No.
Yeah.
I'd never heard that one.
But, yeah, magazine Clipper not. No. Yeah. I'd never heard that one. But yeah,
magazine Clipper 2,
Serpentine.
I still think it's crazy
like the World War 2 stories
you hear of how
American soldiers
would pick up German guns
when they had the opportunity to
and use those instead.
Like you've heard about that,
I'm sure.
Is that true?
Yeah.
It would depend on which gun, right?
Like they would definitely pick up submachine guns if all of a sudden they're in an urban environment and they were issued a Garand or something.
If they had a bolt gun or a long gun and now they're fighting in houses and there's a German submachine gun there, an MP40 or a Papa Shaw if the Russians are nearby.
MP40, obviously.
That gun's OP.
Exactly.
Oh, man.
That's such a great gun.
obviously that gun's op exactly oh man that's such a great gun i liked when i looked online and saw like oh the mp40 was a very successful gun used in world war ii and it was like yeah
fuck yeah finally like it's not like one of those guns in cod where you're like man this thing must
be hard as fuck in real life and it's like just some navy seal being like i'd rather have a butter
knife than that piece of shit. I'm like, whatever.
Woody, you probably didn't. Did you watch that video that I linked from the Fighter and the Kid
podcast? Actually, I was in the process
of watching it.
I hope it gets good because so far
the guy's trying to tell a story
and both Brian Callahan
and... They're going to interrupt a good bit.
They interrupt constantly. I'm like, let the guy
tell his fucking story. They're all like, what what temperature was it outside and he's like actually hold on
that's a part of the story and then dude let the let the guest roll it is give a little back
yeah so this is a story of a guy who's on seal team six uh he's dropping into the himalayan
mountains from high altitude uh which means you have to have oxygen.
Although he's like, but I don't need oxygen because I've done it so many times,
so I don't use oxygen.
And I was like, oh, God, what a hardcore fucker.
And he's a big guy.
He's like a big, big bustle-up scary guy.
And he's talking about dropping in, and he's going to go tandem.
He's going to have an interpreter strapped to his chest,
and on the front of the interpreter, there's even more shit strappedpped to his chest and between the two of them are all of his navigation gears
altimeter his GPS his compass and basically the interpreter gets cold feet and they have
an absolute life and death disaster that takes place between I don don't know, 30,000 or 40,000 feet, and the ground in which there is vomit, beatings, fights,
getting lost, equipment failures, toggles.
I have to imagine this guy sucks at paragliding.
I get it.
Seals are great at everything they ever want to do.
But he's probably not good compared to someone whose passion is this.
He's just using it as a method of transportation. For some reason, they decided that if they used a paraglider, they said this
in the beginning, I think I have it right, they could travel much further. They didn't want big,
noisy things over the area they were going to, so they were going to have a paraglider,
which travels much further. It's more efficient horizontally than a parachute. A lot of parachutes
are designed to get you down in a hurry. It to get you from point a to b so uh but like is he any good at
this like how much training has he done i always do like navy seals you didn't hear him have you
gotten the part where he says that like he's like i've jumped this way and i've jumped that way i've
jumped in this country and i've jumped in that country and we've done it this way and that way
and we did all day every day i've jumped here i've jumped there i've jumped like this with this parachute that pair this guy's a fucking expert
with the jumping because that's how they get put in a lot i promise you like i was i was satisfied
when he like laid all right i feel like i haven't gotten there yet because i just know the thing is
like the at no point like like he saves their lives on the way down because of the stuff he
knows and the problems they had are in no way his fault i know i want to see it i feel like navy seal is that level of military
where like no amount of like diversity hires or whatever is ever going to infiltrate that
little coven of the military you know because they're just so fucking hardcore drowning each
other and flying through the sky and prepared for everything kill you with a fucking thimble and a toothpick you know jerry
rigged that together like all the guys are professional soldiers they they spend their
whole lives doing that stuff but it's so much more amped up than even like the other levels
of soldiers you know those guys are those guys are marines all soldiers, though, right? I mean, but Marines are professional soldiers.
Yeah.
And Navy SEALs are like, I see it even higher than that.
Navy SEALs are as high as you can go in my head.
Maybe I don't know the name of the Royal Guard or whatever the fuck.
Delta Force.
Delta Force, I think, is typically considered the one that's high.
Is that Navy SEALs, though?
No.
That's a different thing but hey
they sit seal team six when they want to get over uh uh right like like who knows i'd say
they're all real fucking good strong point yeah the distinguishing the distinguishment that i think
of is that like the i hear about marines and they're like oh yeah i was in the marines for
four years or or you know two years or six years or something like that but it seems like every time i hear about a navy seal when like that jocko guy is telling his stories he's like oh yeah
it was 1989 that was when uh i went in and did this and that it's like whoa you've been a seal
for 25 years like they they start doing it and they just do it for it like for 20 years they
are this professional soldier being dropped into the assholes of the world to kill a clan of guys or take out a group of this guy or that guy.
Who knows?
All the crazy shit they do.
And they're constantly training.
It never ends.
You guys are right.
But there's a series of YouTube videos that keeps getting recommended to me.
And it's like, ask a Navy SEAL about this or ask a Navy SEAL about that.
And it's like, they can't about this or ask a navy seal about that and it's
like they can't possibly have expertise in all these areas like how to handle a dog bite by a
navy seal that's really one really are navy seals trained in like hand to dog combat i yes of course
right tons i guarantee it and really i haven't watched, of course, because there's war dogs, right?
You're going to have to deal with that eventually.
You're going to have to fight a dog.
I mean, if you get seven kills in a row, I guess.
My buddy fought that dog that time, and what he said he did was he grabbed it by the jowls,
like on either side of its mouth.
And he was a very strong guy, 6'3".
He was a former Marine.
He was a career Marine, actually.
6'3", like 230 pounds, I would say.
Real heavy set, big arms, just big dude.
And he picked the dog up.
And he's like, you can't do shit then.
What's he going to do then?
He's like, you can't do shit.
And he slammed the dog on the ground, and that was it.
But you've got to get your hands on its jowls, right?
Which is on either side of its chomping machine.
Yeah, it does seem...
Yeah, that's a one strike and you're out.
It would be easy to fight a dog.
Missed!
Yeah, missed.
I don't know. Being a Navy SEAL just seems...
You've got to feel
fucking hardcore when you're on
a mission or something and you look around at your team of like
you and six other guys
and it's like, of the whole fucking military
these are the seven people
who they want to send
to get shit done, you know, like
to make sure that there are no mistakes
like we couldn't trust this with those other
elitely trained units, we need this
like special unit that you would
purchase for a premium in an
RTS game. These guys are the all-stars of the military. They absolutely are. And like an all-star
team, these guys work together on a daily basis. It's a team. They number the teams. We hear about
SEAL Team 6, but there's a bunch of SEAL teams, right? And these guys all know each other. They're
brothers. It's not like you're with a different group of guys every time you go out i i think they're like
dropping into somalia one year with frank and jim and dave and then four years later they're dropping
into afghanistan with frank and jim and dave again you know like these guys it's a cool thing i like
is living a different life than the he's like a ranger or something. He's elite.
He's in the Army's version, I think, of the Navy SEALs. Yeah, Army Special Forces.
But like,
okay, for example,
in the Royal Marines or whatever it is,
the British one, Prince Harry
was a soldier. And he was apparently
like a real soldier. He flew helicopters
and did real war stuff.
I just have to believe
like every now and then it worked in his favor right like like they're like yeah he's a chopper
pilot but you know what if things get really bad we pull him out oh yeah oh they absolutely would
because remember it got leaked one time that he was deployed in like bullshit province afghanistan
and immediately they were like oh they found out
harry we gotta pull you out somebody like they may actually try to get you like now they know
that the prince of england is over here fight high exactly and they pull them out i i can't imagine
that there would be much nepotism as far as like getting into the helicopter being able to fly the
helicopter being confident.
But there was definitely probably some like,
oh, sir, you certainly don't want to go out there with those boys.
Wouldn't you like to fly one of these twirly birds over here?
Rockets and machine guns and such.
I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would.
It may have been.
I don't know how you get selected to flight school in the first place.
Apparently.
He said, I wanted to go to flight school and fly a helicopter and blow people up.
And they were like, right away, sir.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And you are the prince, is that right?
W had that, right?
W flew, like, fighter jets to the National Guard during Vietnam.
And, you know, that was a big campaign issue back in the day.
They pulled a lot of strings to make sure that he didn't do anything dangerous and yeah i i can't blame which war was he avoiding combat vietnam was it not
fuck who cares who cares chiz was telling us the other day like chiz was asking if my dad
fought vietnam i was like i was like nah he didn't get drafted he's like why didn't he volunteer
like because he wasn't a fucking moron like they were like he's taught i've talked to him about
this before i was like what was it like because i he was born in 53 so he was like toward the end of the war i think he
could have been drafted and uh he was like none of us wanted to go we knew people who had went
we knew people who had had a bad time there we knew people died there it was all over television
like like the horrors that were going on there it It looked scary. And none of us felt like we had any fight in that war.
Like we didn't know who we were going to fight or why.
You know, it was like Muhammad Ali said.
Well, I can explain the why.
They sank an imaginary boat.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, and that didn't,
who fucking cared in like 69 or 71, right?
Like it didn't.
So I was like, no, you can fucking go.
And if I had been drafted of course
knowing what i know now not 1968 and 18 year old me i you know 31 year old kyle if they draft me
today to go into hypothetical vietnam i'm going to canada man i'm not going to i'm not going over
there and fighting in a jungle it's going to be nine-toed Kyle real quick after a video shoot goes horribly and
randomly wrong right after you're informed
of your civil duty to
attend an army meeting
or whatever the fuck. Absolutely, man.
I would not. I've watched so many
I went down a bit of a
YouTube rabbit hole last night and if
anyone's listening to this and they want some quality
content, go on there and
watch the
Medal of Honor War Stories. You've got the wants to listen to this and they want some quality content go on there and watch the uh the navy or
excuse me the uh medal of honor war stories they you've got the guy sitting in a chair looking at
the camera telling you what happened and how he won the medal of honor now some of them not to
take any away anything away from these guys but all they did was jump on a live grenade
they saved their comrades and many times they lived through it somehow right but but yeah how's that
that's nice well they tell that story and those videos are usually short those are like the eight
minute how i won the medal of honor stories right there are some of those videos that are 22
fucking minutes long though you want to click that shit because for 22 minutes he's going to
be telling you about the shit he did and these are always these old grizzled manly men like like they like
the uh band of brothers kind of clips they'll have where they'll like just have the old guy
or the veteran rather just speaking to you about what they did yeah yeah i'll have to check that
out because they had one guy they had one guy from vietnam and he looked like on um sin city
marv you know how marv's chin was big and square and stuck out, and his face was all rough?
He looks like that, and he's got this growly voice.
I followed the Sarge up the mountain, and he walked off the trail, always off the trail.
About halfway up, we heard explosions.
That was our buddy stepping on the mines.
I said, thanks, Sarge, for leading me the right way.
Well, he cut Sarge down right then
and there, blew me up too. And I looked down through the blood in my eyes and my hands was
blowed up. And it just keeps, that's how these stories start, right? He's like, my hands was
all blowed up and there was blood in my eyes and all I could see was fire. And I realized it was a
North Vietnamese with a flamethrower burning my friends alive. And he took one look at me and I realized it was a North Vietnamese with a flamethrower burning my friends alive and he took one look at me and I recognized so pitifully he figured he just let me go ahead and
die like I was and kept on moving and that's when I crawled and crawled until I found found a few of
my buddies and they's hiding in a damn hole not fighting not shooting at nobody I said give me
your damn weapon and he wouldn't give it to me what god gave me his pistol though and I was begging
for one more magazine when the gook started coming at me and i took one out he's trying to take me alive
and i and he's just telling this story and it just keeps escalating and he's like the serge
was gone so i said give me all the radios and i had all three radios one for the navy guns one
for the artillery man and one for the uh the the the the aircraft and i was calling the air support right
in on top of us and it was blowing up all around and it was 36 of us that went in and seven of us
come out and i'm one of them and that's how i won the battle of honor all the stories are like that
like that's crazy i like those stories i like the accent it goes into i know it was very well done
i like those when like you you almost get
to the point of like like when they win a huge battle in lord of the rings like when the fucking
uh undead horde show up you're like oh that's ridiculous that would never happen like you get
that kind of result with some of these medal of honor stories where like halfway through it'll
be like and then i made my way into the into the tunnels i went in and i went in with two ears on
my head and i came out with nine on a necklace around my neck all japanese and you'll be like
alex jones is pretty badass over there now the thing you need to understand about this joke
the best vietnam never happened you know the best story i heard made me cry at the end
it made me cry it was end. It made me cry.
It was so powerful and just ridiculous.
This guy, I think there was about 40 of these guys.
They were artillery men.
These are the guys firing the big guns many miles.
And a major lands at their position and tells them,
you're going to get hit tonight 100%.
Prepare yourselves.
So he's like, my Sarge was 27 years old.
He was an old guy to us and he was he was always busting her ass making us pop take our
bullets out of our magazines and polish them and he'd make us take our artillery shells and polish them and just always constantly with this shit and
And so that night
The enemy comes and they're using these artillery pieces
With beehive rounds each round fires 18 000 buck
shot with a boom straight ahead they've leveled the guns the enemy is advancing i think there's
3 000 of them i i don't remember the exact number but it's it's an overwhelming number of them
and he's manning the the the gun that's closest to them there are guns behind him and he's loading
up this beehive round he pulls it off and just shoots and just
kills many many of them well a mortar round lands next to him and his friends think that he's dead
because it's blown up all of his shit it's injured him severely but he's not dead he's getting up
trying to reload his friends fire their beehive round and it hits him he gets shot through they're
not ball bearings they're darts i i misspoke He gets shot through the ass with a ton of these darts, like where his flak jacket stops at the top of his butt to the top of his thighs.
He's just shot through with darts. So he's laying there all fucked up, unconscious.
When he comes to, he is in the middle of the enemy. There are hundreds of them in waves running past him.
He picks up an M16 with 400 rounds of ammo
and goes through all of it,
killing the men around him from feet to yards away from him.
Kills all of them he can with that,
and then he starts crawling around in the mud and the darkness
looking for the ingredients to load the gun again.
It's all blown apart, right? So he's just looking everywhere. He puts the round in, and he's ingredients to load the gun again it's all blown apart right
so he's just looking everywhere oh there's the there's he puts the round in and he's got to fill
the powder charge up he said i only thought i'd get one shot so i filled it with all the powder
it could take we'd never done that before he said and i i finally got there and i said good lord
this is my last one thank you thank you for letting me get this load he pulls the lanyard
and he goes tink didn't go off
he said and i just hung my head and i thought this is the end then that gun went
and started a shaking and it went
my buddies behind me said we thought you rigged up some kind of a damn flame thrower
because when that thing went off it shot a cloud of fire out.
And it blinded half the enemy
and blew away hundreds more.
And he keeps loading the gun and firing.
That wasn't his last shot.
He says, I kept loading and firing
until I heard,
hold your fire, I'm a GI on the other side
of the river. And I looked up
and it was my buddy and he's on the wrong side of the
river and he's hurt. So he starts crawling to the river. And I looked up and it was my buddy and he's on the wrong side of the river and he's hurt. So he starts
crawling to the river. He gets on
an air mattress, still shot through
and starts swimming.
He starts swimming. He gets to the other side
and he says, I looked down in the foxhole
and it wasn't one man, it was three.
And I said, Lord, I only got
the strength to bring one back.
You're going to have to help me get the other two.
And I started coming back with all three me
this is like when you play call of duty and you want like you level up quickly
this is what you want to try and get a whole nother level in in that same game
this guy was going for two medals of honor at this I bet he probably got more
than turns out that's been an ex-cow was in Vietnam not the real one that the one on the screen
people gravelly voice three times maybe at least three times for the Medal of
Honor he's like and this is the time he won because he was just always doing
crazy shit it's those stories are excellent some of them like I said it's
like I jumped on the grenade and I saved my friends or whatever.
And that's not as entertaining, I guess I'll say, as the ones where they turn into superheroes.
And it's just unbelievable.
I think Brian Stan has a story like that.
Brian Stan.
He's a UFC fighter.
He's a commentator.
I'm sure you'd recognize him if you saw him.
But apparently, I can't do it.
I don't
know the story that well but he was like in a tank convoy and they got ant like like they're
driving through some low road and there's hills on either side then all of a sudden the enemy comes
over like both sides and he's like all right i guess time to kill all them and that's what he
did next if i had the story right it was something like that. Yeah, I really, really like those stories.
And they have them from all the wars.
There's guys from World War II on there.
I'll have to check it out.
And they talk about fighting fucking Nazis and the Japanese.
There's a flamethrower guy, and he's talking about crawling toward the Japanese machine gun.
And because of the level and elevation, you can only tip the machine gun down so far you
can't aim it any lower the bullets are ricocheting off his tank of the flamethrower as he crawls and
he's like i crawled back they're just gonna blow me up and burn me alive all my friends
gotta keep going and he like he you know he burnt like eight pillboxes up and killed bunches of guys
the ones where they go hand-to-hand I
really like I like when they're like when they they have to there was one guy who picked up a
Machine gun that was hot with his bare hands
Terrible burns you know the barrels get incredibly hot I think I know that one pick it up and like men move it and any just all those stories also happened in Band of Brothers
That happened in the other one in like
the pacific one and that it was from the true story what is it called the true story was from
yeah but it was it wasn't band of brothers what was its like sister one it was called the pacific
okay yeah yeah i was pretty close yeah those are both great yeah i you know i what i can't help
but like i'll often get emotional when I watch those things because I'm really appreciative that those guys went and did that for our country.
And for themselves, you know, they weren't like, yeah, this is for Nicole Sam as they gutted 15 Germans.
They were probably like, this is for Dave and Mark back there in that hole.
And for me, so that I don't get captured and tortured, you know.
But still, they were there fighting for our country and stuff.
I get really choked up when they're like, when he said
they wouldn't want a man in the hole,
they was three. And I said, Lord,
you're going to have to help me get the other two, because I can't.
I'm like, aww.
I got to pause it.
I'm like, how are you?
Yeah, as you tell the story,
I'm like, aw, that's so sad. He had to make
a decision on which one to say, no,
no, there's another choice.
Just muscle three people over there with a bunch of darts in your ass.
My favorite story of all time that I've told a bunch of times is the one from Vietnam.
And it's really – they really sell it because they show the picture of this old man when he was in Vietnam.
And you see this hulking guy who's like 6'2", 240 with very wide shoulders and a real thick body.
Like, he's not low body fat.
Like, he is a thick, muscular, powerful human being.
He doesn't have, like, abs as much as, like, he looks like a power lifter or something like that.
And he's got double bandoliers of ammo, like, crisscrossed on his chest.
He's shirtless, and he's holding an M60 with one hand, if I remember correctly.
Like, this big big beefy motherfucker,
and he's telling this story of fighting hundreds
of the Vietnamese and getting blown
up twice, and in the end,
one of his friends has been shot in the head and half his skull
is gone, the other friend has been shot
in the ass, and one of his ass cheeks is
gone, so he puts them both on his back
and swims out to sea
three to five miles, I don't
remember, but it was at least three
miles he swam with two men
so that the Navy could pick him up.
Yeah, but like, the guy
with half of his head gone.
He lived! That's the best part! At the end,
at the very, very end of this, like,
interview, he's like,
and Larry, he's all good now.
I saw him last year. And they cut to Larry
and he's got an eye patch and reconstructive surgery.
And he's like, yeah, he pulled me out of there.
Anybody else would have left me behind.
Half my head was gone.
He pulled me out of there.
He's like, half of Larry's head's gone.
And the other guy, the guy who had pulled that man out of that hole
and swam him across the beach, he was like, and I got to see his kids.
I got to hold his grandbabies last week.
And they got a picture of him holding the guy's grandkids, and I cried
again.
There were similar heroics in Guardians of the
Galaxy 2, so you might like that.
No spoilers.
No spoilers, but
there are action scenes, and
they are very brave.
I look forward to that very much.
I still haven't seen Logan, and I don't feel like
spending $15 to purchase it.
I don't like that when movies first get released.
I saw Logan, played that.
I thought I'd like it more.
I didn't realize that it takes place
and Logan has reduced powers,
so it's barely a superhero movie.
It's almost a badass dude movie.
And Logan's aged.
I guess I knew intellectually that Logan didn't age.
I mean, I had seen all the movies and stuff.
But somehow I forgot that, like, all right, if he has ineffective powers, he's going to start getting older.
And it just, I, look, I was looking for a movie called Wolverine.
And I saw a movie called wolverine and i saw a movie called logan and and
that was that also the same director made the movie the wolverine have you seen it that's when
he's in japan and he fights that robot that like i like that one a lot yeah that one i really that's
the kind of movie that i was hoping to see um but grittier and like deadpoolish with sex and shit
but that's not what happened also the uh if there's a second main character, it was this little girl
who is Wolverine-like. You can get this from the trailers. It's not a spoiler.
She barely speaks English. She speaks Spanish.
I'm like, why is the main character in this film
not able to talk? How is that good?
I don't know about that. I didn't know that little caveat. I know they're in Mexico, but I was really hoping she could speak English.
She has a few words, but, you know.
I'm going to watch it.
I saw it last night.
It was $15, and I was like, I don't like it $15 worth.
I just want to rent this thing, not own it forever.
This is Judge Dredd.
He's not the law.
I've watched Judge Dredd so many fucking times.
It's obnoxious.
The people in my life hate it. I'm like, you know, we could watch Judge Dredd he's not the law I've watched judge Dredd so many fucking times like the people in my life hate it I'm like you know we could watch judge Dredd I'm
like but he's the law fan sent me the you know the Ultra HD blu-ray and
everything and I said so I watched that I watched all the time I love that shit
that's my favorite movies I think that. I watch it all the time. I love that shit. That's one of my favorite movies.
I think that's one of the best new
action movies that's been made.
I love how gritty it is.
This is not the Stallone version, but the newer one.
No, this is the... It's Carl Urban.
See, Stallone, it's based
on a graphic novel. Stallone completely
disrespected the graphic novel by taking the helmet off.
The character never does that.
In years of this comic, across its arc, you've never seen the guy take his helmet off he doesn't do
that shit and first things to loan does because he's a prima donna he takes the helmet off but
carl urban never does you just get the frown it's just the frown the whole fucking time did you i
really you probably know this already but tom cruise was offered the part of iron man and he
wanted to constantly take the helmet off because he's Tom Cruise.
Turns out Robert Downey Jr. is so good in that role.
DiCaprio
could have done it too but
I think that Robert
Downey Jr. really owns it.
He looks like Tony Stark. Do you think DiCaprio could have done it?
Oh yeah.
He's a shitty actor.
Oh my god. Every time he's in something i am distracted
by how bad his acting is he's in these great films really and then you get yeah like the
fucking quaalude scene and wolf of wall street was hard to sit through he's such a shitty actor
the um i don't know him yelling and doing the speeches
on the board he's so shitty in wolf of wall street it distracts me from an interesting story
that's the kind of movie i might like um i thought he was pretty good in wall street i couldn't
disagree more yeah i am the opposite opinion um what else i think he's the i think he's the best
actor at his age or younger that Day-Lewis just kills him
Daniel Day-Lewis is the best in my opinion
I think I said one time he's the
greatest American actor but he's not fucking American
but he's so good at those accents
but we co-opt him
who's the guy
he was heavy
he was in
Philip Seymour Hoffman
that's who I'm looking for
he's dead but I I didn't
appreciate how great an actor he was until he died that guy was every role he killed
you should watch the uh that movie with him and Joaquin Phoenix it's called The Master
uh I think it's shot in 4k no no it's filmed in 70 millimeter that's what it is yeah yeah
so it's really nice quality. It's bizarre.
Philip Seymour Hoffman is like a cult leader,
kind of a Scientology kind of thing,
warping people's minds.
Joaquin Phoenix falls under his spell,
and there's a lot of really powerful,
there's this one really powerful scene
where he's making Joaquin walk back and forth
across the room, and like,
I can't remember the exact
specifics, but it's like he walks to
one end and it's like, touch the glass.
Now walk to the other end and touch the wood.
And he's going back and forth until he can
feel the glass when he touches the wood.
Oh, I've seen this movie.
Yeah, all this bizarre
stuff. It's a cult movie.
You know what's getting good? Better Call Saul
is turning it around for me.
I'm just waiting until it's all available so I can binge it.
I ate my mustard bacon while I watched Better Call Saul last night.
I haven't seen yesterday's, so I guess I'm one week behind,
but I'm looking forward to it.
Jimmy.
No spoilers.
Don't ruin it.
I'll see it probably right after this.
Jimmy's the star this week, I think.
That's good.
The more Jimmy, the better in my opinion.
Special guest star from Mike.
It's Mike and Jimmy.
No horse shit, really, this week.
I want to see his brother's downfall, too.
So I look forward to that.
Yeah.
Rap?
Yeah, definitely rap.
I want to go play some Battlegrounds.
Very good.
All right, that was PKN episode 145.
Hope you guys like hanging out with us.