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All right, PKN episode 146. There it is live.
Oh, you know what? I did the... I've got two things on my mind.
The fact check and the Fox News third place thing.
I did some fact checking on what Taylor said.
He was right and wrong.
I actually saw that too. I was like, oh, we were both right and wrong.
Yeah, yeah. So while it's true that CNN and MSNBC have been doing really well in the ratings and that they've been going up a whole bunch,
the articles I read disappointed me and that they conveniently, I feel, left out that a lot of Fox News' biggest draws were at a funeral for Roger Ailes, the sexual harassment dude and owner of the company.
Tucker Carlson wasn't there.
Tucker probably wasn't.
And whoever else.
I don't even know.
Whoever the gang consists of.
Well, Van Susteren's gone now, right?
Isn't she got some kind of a sexual thing going on?
Like Greta Van Susteren, who I liked a lot.
Is she still with the network?
I read about that.
I don't know if she's gone. I think she's got
a sexual harassment thing going as well against
I think against O'Reilly.
I can only imagine what
kind of environment was going on there.
Between O'Reilly and Ailes.
I imagine O'Reilly as Michael
Scott. He walks in and he's got his fingers
stuck through the crotch of his jeans.
He's like, ahhh!
He's like, just fucking with you. But really
though, I'll pull it out, baby. It's a lot
bigger than that. O'Reilly had the
tapes too where he is talking
dirty and such. He
apparently was a sexual guy.
And look, I'm all for
O'Reilly fucking whoever he wants to fuck.
But apparently, he used his position of
power in the workplace and they paid out $13 million. You it was though i don't think that i can't wait necessarily
abusing his position of power i think maybe you know he's working so hard putting in so many hours
in that building he's like well where else am i gonna find women i'm here and i'm at home and
there's no pussy at home i'm gonna tell you that right now well what he's thinking is he's like
all right i can go out now i can know what riley's thinking is like i can go out to a bar
i can scout out women they'll know who i am because i'm bill o'reilly or i can continue to hang out
at the news station that hires all the hottest women in the city and brings them here and he's
like ah this i i'm kind of living in a magnet right now and so i'll just continue to hang out
my mag i bet he's gotten so much ass over the years
he's like Walder Frey
like you always say, he's like
you know how much pussy I got
you want 13 million
nobody is as Walder Frey
as down in the hospital
it's like now
he's what, embarrassed or what
no, he's just going to be like yeah
I got the money, I got the pussy.
Okay, I didn't retire on my own terms, but how many of us do?
And even now he's not going to retire because fortunately, quote, you know, for him that this happened in 2017 and not 1997 because he could just start a podcast.
And it's like, oh, where are we going to find an audience?
Oh, right, those millions and millions of people who are waiting to see where i go and so it's like it's even like saying all
right mr millionaire you get to take a bunch of freedom and you know what you call it right
doing it live with bill o'reilly
someone tweet that to him right now he'll he'll do it immediately doing it live with bill o'reilly
and doing it live is all caps exclamation doing, doing it live with Bill O'Reilly.
It's probably not live if it's a podcast, but still a good name.
I'd take it anyway.
But a million people would say that.
But you've got to get into that.
Suddenly Twitch is going to open up a new political commentary chapter just for him.
Or he starts his own.
Or it'll be called like killing my
career because all of his books are like killing reagan or killing you know the red menace or
whatever the fuck yeah so it'll be interesting to see if those other news things start killing
the penis the feminization of the modern american man that'll be his next dude i i honestly do
wonder what the environment at fox was like like between it seems like you know o'reilly and ales and i just have to assume if
there's two there might be three or four i don't know i made that up but uh like are they just like
slaying pussy over there all the time i like to think so i mean it's more fun to imagine that i i hope that like you know by 2019 those hot blondes
newscasters are just sitting on a big leather couch and all the pretenses are dropped they're
like coming to you live from the fox news casting couch yeah there's no longer even the pretext of
political discussion it's now just taking way too long to close their legs.
Howard Stern gave him shit for the longest time.
He talks about what he watches a lot.
He watches The Bachelor.
But as far as news, he's like, oh, Fox News.
I watch Fox News.
Of course I watch Fox News.
They've got beautiful women there constantly.
He's like, have you seen the new blonde?
And they start talking about this lady.
And they start looking up her credentials to try to see, what is she pilates and a kickboxing instructor that's what it was it was like it was like it was like kickboxing uh that was that was what she did right before this
she had been like is it true i just have to wonder are they not being selective right like
remember when they said obama was a community organizer and he was actually like a u.s senator
right but they acted like he went from –
Was she a kickboxer instructor but from Harvard Law School or something?
They were giving her a lot of shit because they all have broadcasting degrees and stuff and backgrounds and that.
And I think they expect that among fellow media members, journalists and the like.
And they were really dogging her because she didn't seem to have any real credentials.
Of course, that was a show from a year
ago. Maybe I'm wrong. But they were really
hammered at home that she didn't have any credentials, that she
was a kickboxing instructor, and her main
draw was her legs.
That's what it was all about. I've seen that dogging
of Fox News personalities in
particular is not having journalism
degrees and such, but I don't agree with it.
I feel like this is a topic where you talk
about the news and entertain people, and lots of people can do this you know a lot of like megan kelly
wasn't she like summa cum laude from an ivy league school or from her law school or something i think
so i think she's very intelligent yeah yeah she's real real smart right but no journalism degree so
suddenly she can't talk it on on the thing no dude well she's an opinion i'm all about woody's
position here
it makes a lot of sense to me because what the last thing you want is like some weird barrier
to entry on who can really be considered a journalist you know because a journalist is
just whoever's currently performing journalism because we live in a free country we can all be
journalists whenever we want so the way i look at it it's dangerous kyle to say that's not news
because it doesn't come from this stamped journalism guy i think it's dangerous, Kyle, to say that's not news because it doesn't come from this stamped journalism guy.
I think it's dangerous not to the same way it's dangerous to take legal advice from a non-lawyer or a medical advice from a non-doctor.
It's not gatekeeping to say, no, no, no, we want you to be qualified before you start informing the people.
I don't think it is because I think there's – you always talk about journalistic integrity, right?
Like that is a thing.
These guys go to jail sometimes to protect their sources.
There's a big difference between that and just some guy who's got a bunch of, like, listeners or viewers.
I think there's an equivalency there that you can draw because journalistic integrity is a thing.
And a lot of the people that we get our news from aren't journalists.
They're opinion makers or just commentators.
or just commentators.
But what you've done, if you establish that,
then all that you say is that,
okay, it's not actual news unless it comes from this nice panel of pre-approved people.
And everything that's a lesser-known source,
they're not as reliable.
And that's valid.
If it is a lesser-known source,
you do need to put more scrutiny.
But to outright say, bah, ridiculous,
this didn't filter through that very closed
and guarded gate of professional
journalism. Therefore, it's not valid. That's a risk thing to do.
It's hard to argue against that because our generation of journalists don't seem to have
all that much integrity, and so many of them are the opinion makers now. It seemed like when I was
a kid, you had Tom Brokaw, and you could just believe what fucking Tom Brokaw said because
he wasn't going to mislead you. I would never tell a lie. Way before him, you had Tom Brokaw, and you could just believe what fucking Tom Brokaw said, because he wasn't going to mislead you. Or, I would never
tell a lie! And, you know, way before him,
you had Walter Cronkite and those guys.
Like, you could believe Walter Cronkite,
and if he said it, like, it was
fucking real. He was gonna shoot you straight.
There wasn't gonna be some opinion piece mixed
in, and, like, put beneath
two layers of real news to confuse
you. Now, maybe that's not so
true. So, while, I wish we had a return to that.
People we could trust who didn't really have a dog in the fight.
The challenge is voters are choosing their news
and politicians are choosing their voters
and the whole system is fucked.
Let's talk fitness.
I am currently down 10 pounds.
It feels like a huge win,
but I've been down 10 pounds since Friday. So I was hoping I'd be down 10 pounds. It feels like a huge win, but I've been down 10 pounds since Friday,
so I was hoping I'd be 11 by now.
I've got a cool landmark coming.
So if I get down 11 pounds, my weight starts with 2.0.
It'll be 2.09, and I look forward to that.
If it's 12 pounds, then that turns out to be the weight of 2 gallons of gas,
which is a thing for me because I fly all the time.
Oh, yeah, that actually makes sense. I was makes i was like what the fuck are we talking about yeah no like the weight of my
paramotor like that whole setup and then um if i'm just gasly way different than water it does
which surprised me i said i had said eight pounds on the show before and everyone's like no it's
less dense okay i just well that's so i knew it was less dense and i guess you did too but i thought
it was going to be like 8.1 versus 8.0 or something i had no idea how knew it was less dense, and I guess you did too. But I thought it was going to be like 8.1 versus 8.0 or something.
I had no idea how significant it was.
I had never considered it.
I always thought liquid was 8 pounds, but never really thought about density before then.
I knew that salt water was heavier than fresh water.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
But anyway, they're both in the 8s, I think.
And then the last one for me is 15 pounds.
That will be my halfway point.
But I'm at 10. That's good. Yeah, excellent. Where's your head? eights i think and then the last one for me is 15 pounds that'll be my halfway point but uh but i'm
at 10 and that's good yeah oh and um the check-ins have helped me and this is why so yesterday i was
going to skip my kettlebell workouts i wanted to my wife had found antique furniture and i spent
from 9 a.m to 3 p..m. doing antique furniture-related activities,
hooking up a trailer to the truck, hooking up a trailer to the other truck
because the electrical hookup wasn't right, carrying antiques onto a trailer,
carrying the antiques into the house, up the stairs, whatever.
I hadn't finished packing the trailer away until 3 p.m.,
and I was like, oh, my God god i've done plenty of weight lifting today i moved like three giant
pieces of furniture but i had a check-in and i didn't want to have to explain it so i whipped
out the kettlebell and did my routine so there it is good for you yeah muscle it out yeah how
about you kyle where you yeah i have been having a good time i've cut my diet down to a much more healthy level.
Cut out all the awful things that I've been cramming into myself.
And we're on a cleanse right now.
We're going to try to get all the evil out.
Start trimming the fat off.
And start doing a lot of reps.
A lot of cardio.
And cut this five or eight pounds of fat off.
And then see what it
looked like then. I don't know. It's fun.
We're just having a little science experiment over here with my body.
It's not that I necessarily, you know, I'm not
necessarily, I'm not like, ah, I really need to lose
eight pounds or I really need to gain
ten pounds. It's more like, I wonder what this will do.
So we're doing that
now. Well, he did
four weeks of 4,000
calories a day in shakes primarily lots of milk then he
spent two weeks eating nothing no it wasn't a typo nothing kitty yes kitty kitty was like
kitty was like don't get the whole gallons of milk get two half gallons i can't lift them
and i'm like oh no i'm gonna go through that gallon in like two days. Don't worry. I've never heard that before.
Get two half gallons.
I can't lift them.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't quite get to the tip.
She uses four pounders, not eight pounders.
But, yeah, I was like, I'm going to go through that gallon of milk in a day.
I ate like an asshole this weekend, just badly.
Like I've been doing good for the most part with eating and with, well, been doing better with working out than with eating.
But this past weekend, because it was Memorial Day and there were so many activities and shit, I ate quite a few hot dogs and burgers and drank beer.
Which is like a good way to keep your beer intake less is what I do now. And I keep it
in calories. Every one I have, I'm like, this is like, you're drinking a sandwich. You are drinking
a sandwich right now. You may not feel like it. And this sandwich may tell you, you know,
it would go great with this sandwich is yet another sandwich. You ever get, do you ever
drink like the super light beers, like a 64 calorie beer? I've had the Miller 64 and it just,
it's a, it tastes like really flat shitty awful
beer so i just it was like it wasn't like i was drinking like that bad for you like stout super
heavy beer it was just bud light but that with burgers and brats and dogs so i'm uh i'm back on
the straight and narrow now because that's i don't know that this is how it gets out of control
is one long weekend and
then it becomes tuesday and i was thinking today i'm like you know what taylor you know it'd be
really good on the way home is if you got a burrito from kidoba and as i was driving i was like uh
thankfully i had to make it home in time for us to do our early start and i was like you know what
no no because this is how you get fat again rationalizing aizing a 1,200-calorie burrito because I knew.
I knew when I walked in.
If I have in my head you're getting a burrito bowl, I will get a burrito bowl,
and because I'm already halfway there on the health, I'll go no to the cheese, no to the queso,
just give me lots of vegetables and meat, and I'll eat that.
But I had it in my head I was going to get a burrito.
In for a penny, in for a pound, my brain says when I'm in there.
If I'm getting a fucking tortilla, then I'm going to get cheese on it.
If I'm getting cheese on it, I'm gonna get queso.
And it was like, okay, no. No, no, no, no.
I gotta be fucking careful here, because if I do this on a Tuesday,
tomorrow's Wednesday, and then I'm
halfway through the week, and I'll just say, well, it's already
shot. I'll have to pick this up again later.
It's creepy when you can see
those thoughts coming in.
Oh, very slippery.
Once you
step off the slope and you slide a little, it can get game over real quick.
You can be like, well, I mean, fried chicken is a lot of protein in there, right?
So maybe I just won't have the French fries.
I'll just eat eight fried chicken fingers.
I got to wash that down with a tea, but I'll get the small.
The small sweet tea.
Kind of.
So when I'm doing it, i get one cheat meal a week i had saved my
cheat meal all week long for friday night where i was camping and there's less like options to
eat and stuff where you know everyone brings a thing anyway i had one of these potato chips for
ages ages are they all week long i've been thinking about these potatoes how much i'd like
they were cape cod tape with uh salt and vinegar they're
really like kettle corn i like kettle uh style like really crunchy yeah yeah a little crunchier
and they tend to not be in the right shape a lot um they're my they're my favorite kind of potato
chip and favorite brand of favorite kind of potato chip and and uh like all day long i'm hungry you
know i know i have no food for tomorrow like The whole thing. And I got a plate of potato
chips. And everyone was making fun
of me for how many potato chips I was eating.
But I was like,
alright, look, a plate of potato chips is a lot of potato chips.
But it was one chip thick
this plate.
It was not like I had a heaping plate of
potato chips and I poured the bag
on a plate and tried not to have them spill over
the side. No. They're just one chip thick.
I would argue that oftentimes when,
like even you get chips as a side,
if you were to take all the other dishes off
and spread them out, you'd about cover the plate.
Yeah.
And that's what I had.
Do you ever do that thing, I've done it before,
where like I'll even try and lie to myself,
like I'll make myself a sandwich and get Cheez-Its or Goldfish to pour on the plate.
And as I mid-pour, I'll be like, what?
Did someone call me?
Oh, no.
What happened here?
Everybody, don't worry.
I'm not an animal.
I'm not going to put my hands in these and put them back in the box.
What's done is done.
Tomorrow's a new day.
You can throw those away.
Yeah, yeah, I'll take them. No, no, no.
No, no. I wouldn't want you to take them.
They've been exposed to air. I already ate the extras.
Yes.
I already ate the extras.
I don't know what I have done. Not that.
That actually is not one of my flaws.
But I will do this in cereal especially.
Be like, all right, let's have a bowl of cereal.
Well, look how much is left.
I'm not sure that's even a whole bowl's worth.
So I'll just pour all of it in here into this heaping bowl with hardly any room for milk
and have all this delicious cereal in a super-sized bowl.
I did that with steak last week.
What?
Where I had a bunch of beef tenderloins that were like four ounces uh
and i had and i made three of them and it was like you know so that's 12 ounces and i was eating them
and i like went back for a snack later and i saw two more that added up to eight ounces and i'm
like well i'm not gonna have a whole meal of an eight ounce steak tomorrow i'll just make these
right now add it on top of the steak i just ate, and then, you know, 20 ounces of steak is the meal. And as I was eating, like, the last bite of that steak,
I'm like, man, that didn't make any goddamn sense at all. Like, that was plenty of steak. I could
have eaten it the next day. And I was like, man, that's a good mind power that I kept myself
fooled until I was chewing the last bite. It's like, ah, I've been rused by myself.
You tricked you. Yeah, I've been pretty disciplined on the diet
with the exception of my one cheat meal a week.
I think the wind's bad
and I'm going to go to Thai this week.
And I'm down 10 pounds.
The thing about needing to lose 30
is that when you lose 10,
you're not like,
check this out, ladies.
And you've got to keep in mind.
You only need at least 20 now.
It's easy to forget that like
all right so you were what was your starting weight 220 all right so like if you go from 220
down to 210 that's a very different woody than if you had just stopped on your way up at 210
do you follow no well why wouldn't they be the same because you have the fitness now you are a
fit 210 you have went down it's different are a fit 210. You have went down.
It's different going down to 210 than it is going up to 210.
I hadn't thought of that.
Yeah.
The you that sits at that 210 is a completely different individual on the inside.
I will say this.
The one that goes up and hits 210 as the one who goes down and hits 210.
The 210 I see shirtless in a mirror.
He's kind of a fat fuck.
And I'm getting a pull. So these things are buzzing in my mirror. He's kind of a fat fuck.
And I'm getting a pool.
So these things are buzzing in my head.
What if we vlog?
Paparazzi's going to be out there snapping those pool pics.
Anyway,
205 will be
halfway, and that'll be an exciting thing.
I was hoping today I'd be down 11, but I
wasn't. 199 is going to be the real winner number because that's like the anchor point that if you do like
tick back up to 201 it won't be like going from 204 to 206 it'll be like oh fuck damn it like i
was a better man and now i've lost it at least that's how i am with those when they finally get
that one out in front you're like i'm not i'm not a starting two digit kind of guy anymore I don't know about you maybe you're the kind of person that lets
themselves go not this guy you know maybe I go from from fat to so overly confident like in like
a six pound range between like 196 and 190 where have you seen that uh that's that thing on social
media where like this this somewhat chubby girl is saying something like,
when his height starts with the number five, and she's making a face like, yeah.
Like she's never dated a guy who's five foot anything.
And then someone replies immediately, when her weight starts with two.
Yeah.
It's true.
And it's got like 30, 000 retweets or something and only one of those is genuinely
kind of shitty because you can't like work out and be like you know by this time next summer i'm
gonna be six eight you watch like no you can't do that like but if you're 230 pounds and like
other than that you're pretty normal like you're just you're just lazing around in your own filth
like you can get that fixed or whatever i'm assuming how heavy this woman was 230 in my head is is very heavy woman weight yeah it's a big lady yeah yeah i'm doing
the kettlebells and i have two motivations one i like the way taylor's shirts fit full homo
two i don't want people to be saying that i'm just losing muscle like that is that i'm eating
so right and i don't want them to be like, oh, he lost 10 pounds, but it's not. Fuck you.
That's why I'm lifting this goddamn kettlebell for no other parent reason.
Put it back right where I found it.
But I need to add that in.
Now, this week I'm doing it.
I did it twice the first week because I'm old and you start slower.
Those are just the rules we work with.
This week I'm doing it three times,
and then next week I'll make a decision to either increase weight or reps
because I'm already suffering less from my workouts now
than I was last week.
That's good.
It shows you're progressing.
Yeah.
About our recent guest on the PKA,
Kyle especially will get a kick out of this,
but I know you will too, Woody,
is I was listening to the newest Dick show today
because it comes out on Tuesdays,
and I was listening to it on the way home and he was talking about,
he's like, oh, I went, this guy Murka Durka asked me on Twitter to come on his podcast
and so I just like clicked on his link and, you know, and he was like, and I saw a podcast
he was doing with him and some girl and I'm like, all right, whatever.
And I closed out of it and I thought I was ready for PKA and Then I showed up and it was a totally different group of guys than what I was
Anticipating and so what do you do in that situation? Well, what I do is I start drinking
And he's like, oh and they caught me in there and I got caught in the most embarrassing lie halfway through and he starts asking
His audio engineer. He's like do you sean do you remember fps russia the guy with the russian accent who shoots guns
and he's on youtube and we used to get hammered and watch the videos on all the time on whole
saturdays he's like yeah i do remember that guy he goes i did not realize that i was doing the show
with fps russia i thought that he was a Russian man.
And so when, you know,
Murka Durka or whatever in the middle of the show said,
you realize that you're talking to FPS Russia right now.
I just sat there kind of drunk and said,
yeah, yeah.
And he was like, fuck, no, no, no.
I can't go back on it ever.
I can't go back.
No, I lied. And he was all concerned about how he ruined the show by getting too drunk and it was
just really fucking funny that he had no idea yeah i remember that moment yeah that was hilarious
you were like you know that's that's him right and he's like oh yeah i know that yeah i know
i think i like that show i wish i had slapped the top 10% label on it.
I hadn't used that in months.
Yeah.
You really hadn't.
Yeah.
That would have been a good one.
The next one will be top 10, too.
I swear it's every 15 episodes I might call one top 10%, every 25.
Yeah.
That's about right, right?
It should be every 10.
It should be every 10, I guess a backlog we might use top 10% for the next great. But I thought that was
really funny. I thought he was an incredible
guest.
I think it was a win. I know I went
to his subreddit and
some of
his fans were like, hey, this is working. I'm going to
check out PKA. And I know
it was to work the other way, too, that there are a handful
of people who watch his podcast. Oh, definitely. Thousands yeah thousands i don't know but people will check him out because
he did a great job so i have a thing did you guys see that art sale no art sale all right yes well
i'm surprised you don't follow the uh the high-priced art scene i'm not i'm not up to date
i need to bone up on my high-priced class in art.
Here, I'll show you the painting. Painting's not my cup of tea. Let's see.
That black skull type thing. I know a lot of people watch this on audio. So it's abstract art.
It looks like it was drawn, it was painted, but it almost looks like it was done with a marker or something because it's mostly lines.
And the lines come together to vaguely resemble a black skull and with bad teeth.
And it went for, it's a new record, $110 million.
And one of the reasons it caught my attention you don't think it's i don't
i don't like it i don't understand like let's circle back to the art in a second the the second
place high bidder if there's such a thing was uh the guys who sold the ufc like one of the
for for tita brothers i think so that's that's how it ran across me, because I follow the UFC. I like frittata, because it sounds more delicious.
Frittata, bruh.
Yeah, so this artist who made it is dead.
I'm not an art guy, but I do know that that helps the value of their art.
Yeah, this thing.
Look, there is a lot of detail in this piece.
You could have made a skull with just... A black skull, to me, only needs one color,
but he's got a ton there. I don't know what's going on with those teeth and and apparently they're
playing tic-tac-toe above his head yeah there's just tic-tac-toe in the back like this is me i
don't know shit about art and so someone can definitely correct me if i'm wrong but like my
feeling i always get from this modern art shit is that it's it's people who want to be artists but they look at traditional very very
good very principled very much following rules and disciplines to get like these beautiful
watercoloring you know paintings or whatever and they go well i can't compete at all in that arena
i can't go into the real arena of realistic painting and drawing and compete. I'll get blown out of the water.
I don't have the skill for it.
So I have to kind of make my own art here and pretend that it's just as deep in its own right,
even though anyone can look at it and say, well, that doesn't really require the same level of mastery
because anyone can look at a painting of a lake,
and if there's someone there with two arms or a fucked up distortion,
they're going to go, aha, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, I see it.
But here they don't. Two arms is
appropriate.
If they have two, yes.
If they have two arms where
one is like all fucky or something,
you'll look at it and you'll go, that's weird.
But this one, this guy, he
goes, well this nose is totally
fucked, but it doesn't matter. There's no standard
by which I can be compared to and judged.
Therefore, it's brilliant by default.
I think the problem is that
none of us really have any appreciation
at all for art. I mean, you look at Picasso's
expressionism, like all those
weird faces
mushed together and stuff.
The goal isn't to be a photograph, because
the camera already got that down.
Is there a weird kind of group thing, though?
This isn't worth $110 million to me, but I know I couldn't create anything that looked as nice.
I'd pay $100 for that and stick it on my wall, but no more.
No more.
Two things.
Abstract art, right?
The cliche is that it's something everyone says they can do, but nobody does.
That's the thing about abstract art.
Sometimes I've thought I should just paint the background put like four different
colored squares on it and say yeah i made that myself and everyone will be like i could do that
yeah so could i and like just have a thing but i wonder like when it comes to art like this which
i just find very difficult to appreciate is it it possible that somehow it's prestigious to think this is good
and that all people who enjoy art just start agreeing like,
oh yeah, I don't like that picture that actually looks like something is nice.
I like this picture over here that looks like the guy was cleaning his brushes on.
That speaks to me
did you impress your friends by liking this
i wouldn't think some of it but i mean there's someone who spent 110 million dollars on it for
some reason to impress his friends he could have done a better job than that right like like but
you know he's in the news this is i news. I just linked you guys to something.
I don't know how good it's going to be, but it'll
only take a couple seconds. We should run through
it. It's a Sporkle quiz.
It's called, can you tell us if this painting
is the work of a famous modern artist
or a small child?
This is fantastic.
Let's put it on the big screen.
On the first one,
I'm trying to figure out if we're all looking at the same thing.
Is it the one that's like some splatters on the canvas?
Yellow, red?
Almost looks like a red blood drop.
Yeah, red and yellow.
We're all on the same one.
Red, yellow, green.
Do you think this is modern art or do you think it's done by a child?
I'm going to say that this was done by a child.
I'm going to say it ain't modern art.
I take it back.
It's modern art. Oh. I'm going to say I hate modern art. I take it back. It's modern art.
Oh.
I guess if I hit M it votes.
I think modern art was right.
It was because I tried to write toddler.
Alright, so this one
toddler?
I actually think it's modern art.
Well, this one, it's just smushed around
shit. So it doesn't even have the same depth.
Are you guys looking at the blue thing?
Yeah.
I think if it were a toddler, it would have more white space.
I'm going to say it's also modern art.
All right, two to one, modern art.
It is modern art.
Yeah.
Okay.
Ooh, but this one.
I think it's modern art again.
This one's just shit.
It's just swatches.
I think this might be a toddler because I see the distinct
finger painting strokes on it.
And the very small fingers.
I'm going to say it's Modern Art.
I'm going to say toddler on this one.
I'm going to go with toddler because it was 2 to 1.
Correct.
It was a toddler.
It's mostly red one.
I'm going to go toddler because of the white space.
It certainly doesn't look difficult to do.
So Taylor, break the tie?
No, they're toddler.
Yep.
We're right.
We've gotten everyone so far.
It's got to be modern art.
I'm going toddler.
Toddler on this one.
I feel like I've identified the finger painting aspect of this one.
I'm going toddler.
I'm looking at brush strokes every time.
I'm looking for something that looks like an adult brush stroke that wasn't just like...
I'm looking for something that looks like someone did something intentional.
I'm saying...
I'm going to say...
That's modern art.
This looks like a toddler did it.
It looks like the horizon of the ocean.
It was modern art.
Toddler on this one.
Oh, this one's got to be a toddler.
I'm saying modern art.
Kyle is terrible at this game.
I'm going modern art.
Children don't pick colors this ugly to paint with a lot of the time.
So I'm going to say modern art because he's trying to be ironic.
We're all right.
There we go.
Modern art.
I like this one, actually.
All right.
I'm going to say toddler.
I'm going to say toddler as well.
Oh, all right.
So I thought it was modern art, but it was two to one against me.
It was toddler.
Now, this one that we're looking at here is the crux of modern art or toddler
because it looks horrible uh but
if you saw this hung up somewhere and they said it sold for a million you'd say yeah suckers born
every you know why i think it's toddler if they told you that this was like the armenian genocide
you'd stare at it for 20 minutes like yeah i guess i see it i think the way this was made was by taking a brush
and smushing it so that the hairs on it flared out and got messed up i'm going toddler
i'm gonna say please go toddler i i'm i'm going art i'm going all right taylor break the tie
um i i would answer but i'm already familiar with this piece this is called uh post nap time
troubles and it's actually both yeah a toddler and the modern artist it's a toddler i'm gonna
say toddler it was oh my god sure that was a a paper squished um toddler i think i'm only behind
by one now yeah i, I agree with you.
I mean, this one is definitely...
Are we looking at the blue one?
I'm going to say the blue one is Modern Art.
I'm going Toddler.
I'm going to go Modern Art on this one.
I was right.
No, it was Toddler again.
Man, these are indifferentiable.
Get that Toddler on the phone.
I want to buy that piece.
All right, there's 20 of these, so we need to roll.
Jesus.
Or not do all 20.
Yeah, or not quite do all 20. The last one
I think is Toddler. Oh wait, there's a timer
on it, so. Alright, I'm gonna go Toddler
too, so. And we were right.
And the timer should expire. 3, 2,
1. This last one
just says Hector.
It's got like a...
Alright.
Oh, that was art.
No, no, no, no. The point is that it's not art.
It just looks like a toddler
scribbled it on there, you know?
Like if you
went to any other form of art,
like if you went to Gordon Ramsay's restaurant,
right, and you go and take a sit down,
and he goes, alright, I'm going to bring out something for you.
It's going to be made by me, Gordon Ramsay,
one of the most famous chefs to ever live,
or it's going to be cobbled together by a child in the back.
It's like, all right, what do you think this plate is?
Well, there's a clear filet mignon that's been butterflied.
There's my sautéed green beans next to it.
I think an adult made this. What's this?
Well, it's a cup full of dirt
and a little bit of kitty litter on the bottom.
It has been dropped.
Is it something more?
Talking about the state of the food industry?
She calls it a mud muffin.
Yeah, she calls it a mud muffin.
The chef calls it a mud muffin.
I think we got eight right and three wrong.
That was our score.
I feel like we could tell the difference.
I think going on your cooking thing, if it was like, hey, was this Gordon Ramsay or
a child, I would get all of them right.
Oh, yeah. Oh, I would too. Unless the
child could cook well. That's unlikely.
No, even then it would like...
No, I think I could tell just by the screams
from the kitchen which one it was.
One guy drops
F-bombs and the other screams from Bobby.
That was a deep run. Did you see that shit?
God damn.
Absolutely awful.
How are you expecting to introduce food to this lemonade stand
when you can't make a single entree
for the customer?
I just tried to do for fun
with my mom and my dad and
become my sister.
You're not taking this any seriously, Susan.
I can picture him getting so
fucking mad at those kids. All red-faced.
Yeah. Spit.
This is a lifestyle.
You know?
You have to live this.
Ramsey, it's nice when you
see Gordon Ramsey be like a nice, like,
gentle, warm guy, because it's so,
it catches you off guard. You're like, oh,
oh, okay, there's this version of you, too, because guy. It catches you off guard. You're like, oh, okay,
there's this version of you too because you're so used
to the cunt version of him that just
screams at people for cooking poorly.
It seems almost random
to me which meals he likes and doesn't.
I have seen meals
delivered to him that looked fantastic
and he'll be like, this is chewy, you don't make
your own pasta, garbage, garbage, garbage garbage and then i've seen like home style is this racist to say like an
aunt jemima style that's very racist yes is it i'm trying to paint a picture okay black woman
with an apron and a do-rag okay like yeah all right thank you that'll work i don't mean to
be racist no i'm just trying to paint a picture i don't mean to be racist food no no just trying
to paint a picture i don't know what to say but but yeah like a female soul food chef deliver what
looks to the eye to be a plate full of slop and he'll be like this is perfect nailed it you know
your only problem in this restaurant is marketing or something like that and i think man like
the only thing i thought it's a good thing we taste
food and we don't look at it because you
never know. But don't you?
Don't you a little?
Sometimes you don't. There's a lot
of stews and stuff that come out
of the slow cooker that look pretty gross, but they're just
delicious. Kadova has them.
I don't know. Gumbo. I get
gumbo there.
Look, I haven't had it in months. This burned into my head and I don't know, gumbo. I get gumbo there. Oh, so look, I haven't had it in months.
This burned into my head, and I don't know why I let this.
It's weird, the things that can hurt your feelings.
But Guy said, I didn't take my diet seriously because he had seen the desserts that Jackie brought me.
And, you know, clearly I'm bad for that.
And it's like, no, stop.
Those are the desserts that got me here. They're not the desserts that help. I haven't had any desserts since I'm bad for that. And it's like, no, stop. Those are the desserts that got me here.
They're not the desserts that help.
I haven't had any dessert since I'm trying to lose weight.
That's what caused the problem in the first place.
And somehow that ties into the Gordon Ramsay thing, and I've lost my train of thought.
Damn it, I'm so sorry.
About the food?
About the food not looking good, but being good?
Or not?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Was it something about black people?
No.
It was the collard greens, wasn't it?
You were going to get a whole tirade.
That is a food that is grievously underrated.
Collard greens are real good.
And the way they look is not good at all.
So that's a pretty good point.
I was going to say, I wanted to talk about Kudobas without people thinking i was currently eating there but
yeah the gumbo is uh is outstanding that's my i love gumbo um i was on the gulf coast down there
where they had the oil oil spill in louisiana and we stopped at this like seaside restaurant
there was like a really big nice place oh that gumbo was so goddamn good i that was the best i guess i was really hungry that day because it's imprinted in my brain. Oh, that gumbo was so goddamn good. That was the best.
I guess I was really hungry that day
because it's imprinted in my brain forever
how good that gumbo was.
And also because you'd look out the window
and there were black people on the beach.
On the beach?
The whole beach was black people.
And look, they weren't out there
in like jeans and shit like normally.
They had board shorts on.
They had – I swear to God, there were black guys playing volleyball.
I saw –
Did they know they were black?
I seen it.
Because they might not have.
They were even playing the right way.
They knew how to play volleyball.
It was shocking.
The whole beach was populated by black guys.
They weren't even playing the right way.
I was talking to a black guy on the beach.
Now, at the time, I was a total beach rat
I spent all my days at the beach
I worked on the beach, beach beach beach was my thing
and this black guy
comes out he rented an umbrella from me
and he's like yeah I'm just
taking my kids to the beach because they were curious about it
I wanted to prove to them that there's
nothing fun here
and I was like
it's not working, is it?
The beach is the greatest.
But yeah, there was a real disconnect there.
His whole point of going to the beach was to prove how bad it is.
When it comes to the beach, I'm very much a black man on the inside.
I despise all that it is.
Woody probably loved it as a lifeguard who liked being active.
You see a lot of black people coming
on you're you know you're you know maybe it'll be a more difficult day at work maybe maybe some
more early do asian people oh my god they're the best customers ever there's a there's a real high
chance that you'll get to pluck one out of the water this is something i want to ask you what
what weird stereotypes if any did you notice doing that about who tends to drown who handles
drowning the best and the
worst not that like anybody's like you know five stars at drowning uh-huh um so you know what i
said asian people there is some truth to that but really the clothes made the man like if someone's
out there swimming with a t-shirt on or better yet if they bring their sunglasses into the water
then i know these are not watermen right like real water people yeah well watermen is a surfing
term that they used to mean i do more than just i like i also paddleboard and kayak and whatever
waterman and if a guy's wearing sunglasses over the water it's not a fucking waterman
he's more likely to be a we call him a customer but you know a victim yeah and um so that was a
good tell the clothing somewhat asian guys who weren't Americans were often terrible.
I don't know why.
But if they had accents and they were from something not American,
then they were great customers.
That about gives it up.
Meaning the less American the Asian individual,
the more likely they are to have trouble swimming.
Yes.
If it's an American Asian, they're just like white guys, really. They swim and
they do regular stuff.
Back home, they use pool to execute.
Yeah, yeah.
Political prisoner.
Every time I go on the Asian servers on PlayerUnknown,
those guys are serious. They're screaming
at me and I don't know what language.
I leave my
mic open and I start, I'm speaking English
of course, and they hate that for some reason. And I just, we start screaming each other him and I start I'm speaking English of course and they hate that
for some reason and I just
we start screaming each other him and
I don't know what and me in English
it's a lot of fun
I've really been digging the player unknowns I've been playing with a lot of fans
a lot of our fans are actually
really really good at the game
I found a guy who's like a counter strike
pro and
we've been winning a lot
we've been playing squads and winning several times
a night. That guy from Hangouts
said that he was good.
He's from California
and has guns.
You know him.
Is it the big guy who's like
it looks like he's in a
garage and his parents are very rich.
He has a big beard.
He's young with a big beard.
Yeah, he said he was very good.
You know, I didn't want to give him any shit, but he was like, oh, I'll kill anybody just because I know how people think.
And I'm just like, no, that's not how it works.
Don't you think it is a little – like, I feel like – well, so if it was Call of Duty, you'd have, like, basically stay out of the field.
That's where the baby buffalo roam.
You know, you'd set up positions of advantage. You know to go the long way around the map because you cut across the center and
everyone's aiming at you um yeah that kind of like take that add more complexity to it and maybe he's
good at it no oh yeah there's lots of i mean there's definitely tons of mind games in there
like like it certainly happens because i'm in this building you're in that building and i can hear
your footsteps you can hear mine unless we crouch aim walk,
which moves you at like 0.1 normal speed.
So there's a lot of mind games that go on, but that's not going to get you a win.
There's plenty of times when I outthink the guy, but he just outshoots me
because he's so much better at shooting games, or he just outshoots me,
or his connection's better, whatever.
But with that game, you can play any style.
There might be a player in there who gets 20 kills in a game. shoots me or his connection's better or whatever. But with that game, you can play any style. There's a guy,
there might be a player in there who
gets 20 kills in a game.
There's 100 people dropped in. He's got 20 kills.
He's got the best of everything.
But I might still beat him just because I play
kind of a pacifist role
and I don't take every gunfight
I see because I'm trying to be quiet and stealthy
and I just sneak around because
every few minutes that
poisonous gas encroaches and makes
us play in a smaller and smaller play area.
And it's very easy to get stuck outside that play
area and just die.
And as far as running across open fields,
that's a big, big, big no-no in this
game. Because, you know, if you're out
there 400 yards in a field, it's a long run
to get to cover and someone's just shooting at you all day
and they just kill you. But the circle forces you into those shitty scenarios, so end
game, you're laying in a wheat field, just 18 feet away from another guy, laying in a wheat field,
and everybody's crawling, just terrified, my heart pounds so much in this game, that I wish I had a
heart rate monitor, because it's more, like, I have to really get cardio going before my i can i can
like hear my heart in my ears but regularly in this game it's and my teammates are the same way
i think it's just a product of the game like they'll be like oh god my heart's racing my heart's
racing i wish you could live stream this sounds like i'd watch your live stream it's a lot of fun um i i've gotten better
at the game i i'm certainly not um good at it i guess among amongst all the players who play it
because they play pc shooters but um i can hold my own and i don't get embarrassed anymore
yeah i wish i could stream too that'd be that'd be fun that's it they uh oh go ahead i was gonna
talk about something else uh i'll just wrap it up
like that is to me one of the biggest downsides of living in a rural area like we live at a time
in america where it's like oh yeah electricity just doesn't make it out to my house right
electricity makes it everywhere but quality internet doesn't nope taylor you had a thing
yeah it doesn't just have to relate to hockey. It has to
relate to sports as well and fan involvement. So throwing stuff on the ice is something that
just happens in hockey games. In Detroit, they throw dead octopuses on the ice or dead squids
on the ice. And for Nashville, they throw catfish on the ice obviously dead you're not smuggling a live catfish
in and uh game one you just throw whatever they handed out as a prize philly is uh batteries
they throw batteries so it's not as fun loving
jack daniels how'd you even get that in here that's a That's a lot of cost commitment to that throw.
But this guy, I guess, snuck in and heaved.
The video I saw of the way a guy snuck in a giant squid into a Detroit Red Wings game grossed me out so much. Because it showed the guy, apparently, this is from a while back, had a couple squids on him.
You know, bring a couple.
And so he put squids on him and like held his hands up and had his friend
go around with just saran wrap and
saran wrapped a squid and then like
as a layer on top of the other squid, they
put it on and then layered another squid on there.
The dude only got one squid hucked
out before the picture of him in his
mug shot or whatever is him holding his shirt up
with a squid taped to his stomach.
But he didn't
get in trouble or anything.
They didn't charge him or anything.
What would they charge him with?
Exactly.
Last night at game one, Pittsburgh versus Nashville,
a Nashville fan threw a giant fucking catfish out on the ice.
They arrested him, apparently.
And it says that after being kicked out of the arena,
the fan tweeted the Midday 180 radio show in Nashville.
The account later stated that he was not arrested but was not welcome in the Pittsburgh area again.
Jacob Waddell has since been charged with disorderly conduct, disrupting a meeting, and possessing instruments of crime.
Wait, but he was from Nashville, but he went to a pittsburgh game right correct yeah
shit like that i'm pretty sure you can just ignore like he's not welcome to pittsburgh
but i will go back to pittsburgh they're not going to get me on those squid charges yeah
i'm not an attorney but i'm pretty sure if you have like disorderly conduct and you don't plan
to go back to that state again you just fuck off what off. What are you going to do, send a U.S. marshal after me on squid charges?
It may be it, because, I mean, I don't know what...
Just disrupting a meeting?
Are we calling a hockey game a meeting?
Not a lot's getting solved.
Yeah, I think they just found every charge they could find
of a catfish position.
What could we file the catfish under that's criminal?
Just instruments of a crime.
We'll revisit it later.
You know, that's ridiculous.
I think you should be able to throw dead animals at sporting events at your leisure.
I would prefer it if it were the dead animal of the opposing team.
So, I mean, just hear me out here.
You're in Dallas.
You're playing the Cowboys.
You throw a dead fucking cowboy out on the field.
This is making a lot of sense.
Carry on, Kyle.
Do you have any more examples?
Dead Cardinals in St. Louis.
That's what it is.
It's just people from Chicago.
It's just a bag of dead birds that they throw.
And as you would throw a dead bag, it would really just kind of be like six dead birds made it more than a few yards.
So then there's a pile of dead birds.
Right? On the poor
people in front of you.
I'm just thinking
this through. If you play
the Orlando Magic,
do you have David Copperfield
and FUG?
If you throw them on the...
When you play the Nashville Predators,
you throw a defaced cardboard cutout
of Bill Clinton on the ice.
Or Bill Cosby. That works.
Bill O'Reilly. Man, Bill!
You know, I was going with
Roger Ailes on this. I'm surprised we didn't make our way
to him, but yeah, that's fine.
I was just going as many pedophilic... not pedophilic.
He's a sexual predator, Roger Ailes.
Yeah, I was just saying Bill.
Bill Cosby, Bill O'Reilly.
There should be a distinction because I feel that too many people get slapped with pedophile
and too many people get slapped with sexual predator too because there's a difference
between a 55-year-old oversexed man in a position of power who lets you know you got nice titties or pinches your ass,
and a 35-year-old man who is grooming children at the local daycare.
Like, oh, yeah, when we work out, we take our shirts off.
Yeah, Billy, yeah, yeah, we're all strong.
A different one, yeah, one I have even more sympathy for is, like, two 15-year-olds in the backseat of a car receiving and giving a blow
job and suddenly like the girl's parents press charges and it turns out it's illegal to receive
a blow job from a 15 year old even if you're also 15 like that or if like a a 16 year old boy or 16
year old girl is sexting another 16 year old and they send like a dick pic or a twat pic or a tit pic or whatever to one another,
and it's like, oh, now you've engaged in child pornography.
We can't get involved in the mishmash of realizing
that these are just two hormonal teenagers who want to fuck.
No, it's actually nefarious is what it is.
It's actually pornography.
Yep, yep, yeah.
No one's selling it.
And it's hard to be pro-peto if you're in any kind of political position,
if you're a lawmaker.
But it's about time that someone stands up for kids like that.
It's not pro-pedo to say,
hey, maybe kids sending pictures of their dicks to each other
shouldn't be called pedophiles because they're still children
and they're just doing stupid stuff.
Here's my thought process on there.
I'm just throwing it out there.
Yeah, the rules in North Carolina for engaging in sex are something like
you have to be 14 and you have to have been within four years.
Check the birthdays, right?
So if I'm 18 and you're 14, but I'm really like three and a half years older than you,
we're good to go.
I think that should extend to the pornography rules, right?
So if I'm 19 and you're 13, it's child porn.
If I'm 16 and you're 13, we're both kids.
It's just illegal, yeah.
No, no.
Well, okay, 13, I think I maybe went too young.
But if I'm 17 and 14, then they're just all kids and it's not a parent thing.
I think you just have to educate your kids on that, not you, of course.
But because there's
that thin line where now the pedophile
employs children to move
his kiddie porn around because
they're immune from kiddie porn charges, right?
Yeah. Now they become that little
kid who's running the drug money around.
They're going to use
a proxy pedo.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm 15. I can
send all the kiddie porn I want immune
from all charges. There's laws
on the books that specifically protect me as a 15
year old who sends kiddie porn. So
I'm the one in the organization who sends the
files. I do that.
I feel like I just said some stuff
I don't want recorded.
Yeah.
That could be edited up real nice.
Hypothetically.
You're the next Milo.
I wonder how Milo's doing.
Wasn't he doing his big comeback this month?
I feel like he didn't get the attention he was hoping for.
After his Twitter got banned, I really...
I mean, the only point of contact I had for him
is that I followed his Twitter account,
and then when they got rid of that,
it's not like I searched out new ways to keep tabs on him.
It was like, well, I guess if he's not coming back on Twitter twitter that's about my extent with milo to me he kept making news like
that's how i sort of kept up with him not so much on twitter but he was always saying something on
a college campus part of his tour he got on bill maher's show uh he'd be invited on whatever fox
abc etc to talk about things i always kept up with him because he kept making news and then he's like
i'm coming back in may i'm gonna be making news and i don't know if he tried or not but i just
haven't seen him the reason you haven't seen him is probably because nobody is i think all of the
stuff you just mentioned has stopped because of the pedophile thing like he probably can't get on
any shows or get any speaking engagements at college no one wants him to come speak at their college. I think he's blacklisted from so many places.
That's racist.
It is not.
It's not.
He's gaylisted.
He's gaylisted.
Yeah, I want to say that the press is intentionally not covering him
because really what he does is just provoke people.
We should have him on the show.
Maybe we could book him again.
There's no better punishment
against a provocateur than to
not give them attention. Because the best
case scenario for Milo,
given that everybody understands he is a provocateur,
every time there was a big uprising
around him, he loved that.
That's how his bread is buttered.
He would love
for you to be upset by what he says so much more than to go.
Eh, whatever.
I'm not interested that the I saw like towards the end as people were like kind of tearing him down.
Someone said something that really made a lot of sense to me.
They're like, you know, he describes himself as the world's most dangerous faggot.
Right. And they're like, he's not dangerous.
He is a spider on the cushion.
And it's the freaking liberals that are just scared to, ah, spider on the cushion.
And it's like, if you could stop being such a pussy, then he wouldn't be dangerous at all.
And I kind of represent Team Blue on the podcast here, but I hate that those guys are on my team.
The union?
Right. Yeah. The Union? Right.
You guys typically take the Republican role
and I typically take the Democrat one, even though I think
in reality we're all pretty lined up
on the issues. Yeah, we're not too far
apart from each other.
That would tickle me a lot.
The Union?
No, you were like, I fight for Team Blue. I was like, the Union?
Oh, yes. The Confederacy was great. The Confederacy are fucks. I feel like history the union no you were like i fight for team blue i was like the union oh yes yeah that's a better
thing was gray the confederacy or fucks i feel like history has been has represented them way
more positively they did not fight for america they fought against america the confederacy
they they fought for slavery and the and in an effort to leave america so that they continue
to enslave black people.
And I feel like history is like, oh, you don't understand.
It states rights.
They just wanted their freedom.
Dude, no.
These were evil, evil fucks trying to enslave people and break out in America.
You can't say they were evil without calling Washington evil in the same stroke of the pen, right?
The only reason they didn't have slaves in the North is because
cotton didn't grow in the North. Most of the people
who owned those large plantations were Northerners.
They had slaves in the North.
No, the reason that they didn't have it on that scale,
I mean, is that you didn't have...
Well, they had factories. They had plenty of jobs for
slaves.
But not, like, at that time,
growing cotton... Like, we weren't, like,
giant factories where we are now. Like, post-indust cotton, like we weren't like giant factories where we are now, like post-industrial revolution.
They weren't just enormous factories.
I've got some positions for slaves around here and I don't even have a company really.
We could all have slaves.
I could have some house slaves, you know, doing dishes.
You would definitely have some house slaves.
Yeah, you'd have an Aunt Jemima. The reason that Aunt Jemima is a racist thing
is because aunt was this connotation
that you threw on a black woman
to explain that she's like your servant.
She's the old aunt
who lives in your kitchen
and cooks our food for us.
Like aunt is a derogatory term.
So is uncle.
You'd call a black...
Uncle Tom.
Yeah, Uncle Tom, the whole term.
I don't know.
So Uncle Ben's rice and Aunt Jemima's syrup are...
Oh, my God.
Uncle Ben's is racist, isn't it?
Oh, I didn't even...
I always thought...
Oh.
I feel like they should stop being racist at some point.
If you keep watching The Sopranos,
Meadows starts dating this guy who's half Jewish and half black.
Tony calls him the Hasidic homeboy.
Jamal Friedman or something like that.
He keeps cracking these jokes, you know.
And he has this, like, intense conversation with him where he's like, you know, tell me about your people.
You know, and he explains to him that he's, like, half black.
And they get in this little argument.
He's like, you know, stay away from my daughter, et cetera.
They leave.
And then he has this panic attack when he opens the cabinet
and sees the Uncle Ben's rice.
Really? I never put that together.
I feel like these things should stop being racist
because no one says uncle or aunt in those terms
anymore. And we had
a guest who was from Iraq
maybe, and he was talking
about Allah Akbar. And he's like, oh,
we're very clever. We use Allah Akbar in
a lot of situations, and therefore it doesn't really have a terrorist meaning and I say horseshit I'm telling you if
if um I don't know intensely racist people started calling black people dude all the time I would
have to remove it from my vocabulary I can't just say no dude pre-exists no no no it gets subverted
is that the term i'm looking for uh
i wouldn't want to give like a group of shitty people the power to change your vernacular though
they have like you they have it it happens all the time but only if you allow them to have it though
like only if you give in like if let's say dude dude that's a good example common vernacular
everybody knows what it means if they start saying dude to be anti-semitic or something
and then they do the whole pepe the Frog reverse engineering things to be racist,
and then they say, hey, you can't say dude anymore.
If you indulge them and say, okay, you're right.
I shouldn't say dude because of this new thing that you're shoehorning into our vernacular.
What you've done then is you've set a precedent that they can change language however they want
as long as they can get two dozen people really upset about it enough to contact whoever the hell on twitter or facebook like you don't want to give those people that
power because they're never going to say they're never going to say okay we're good we're good we
got all the words we got it because they're not they don't actually give a fuck about the people
and the words they just want to control your language i don't want to be the guy that leads
the the charge on like continued ownership of dude when i know it's hurting a lot of people.
I think, I'm making this up,
so don't go over his history,
but I imagine that at one point calling someone
a colored person was
a way to get away from nigger.
Right? Like, alright. Negro.
Or negro. I don't think
black people like being called either of those.
Right. So then I think
Oh, they were fine with Negro.
Yeah, I think that when they went to
colored, that was an
effort to be nice. And then that became
bad. So now you don't say colored.
You know? That's why the NAACP
changed their name, because it hurts their feelings so much.
Yeah, they were
the... I'm kidding. They didn't change their name.
For colored people, they didn't change their name.
The National Association of the Advanced Recolored People.
It's a ridiculous
kind of standard of where it's people
pretending that they have other people's best interests
in mind, but I think that it's really just
semi-authoritarian assholes trying
to control the way you speak and box you in
with your thoughts and make it so you can't leave the little
thought plantation. You gotta
use the words that we say are okay.
You can't do this. You can't do that. this word is now fucking bad too you if you're going to continue to use it
are you going to be a dog whistle for anti-semitism no just fucking settle down and then they hide
behind this uh this curtain of but it's it's hurting other people it's hurting other people
that's why this big group of white people is telling you what not to say for fear that those
other people you know might get wind of what you're saying like no no
No, remember when Michael Scott Michael Scott thought it was collared people yes, and Stan was like it's a colored people Michael No, because hey
God, what do you say he's like no it?
He's like no because you don't call them collared people. Yeah, that's what it was
He called him colored greens, and he was like no that's because you don't call them collared people
Yeah Yeah, that's what it was. He called them colored greens. And he was like, no, that's because you don't call them collared people. Yeah.
It was something like that.
The colored greens.
I'm with you most of the way, Taylor.
I'm not on board with the they're trying to control you type thing.
I think they're being oversensitive.
I think that they're
they think they're doing the good thing
and advocating on behalf of Indians
when they say don't say red skin.
You know, but I don't think it's because...
Some of them do, but you can't paint
with a brush that they all are like that.
It's my story. I'll use any brush I want to.
Okay, fair.
I don't mean to be removing your lived
experience.
You're trying to control my thoughts and speech.
Yeah, I don't know.
The social justice
warriors I run across,
I think they're operating from a genuine,
if it's not virtue signaling,
then they think they're being virtuous.
I haven't seen them try to control and beat down,
although you're right, there's probably some aspect.
I don't know.
I think I mostly agreed with our guest, though,
because I was like...
The Iraqi guest?
The Allah Akbar.
He was pro-Ali Akbar. I. He was pro-Allah Akbar.
I think I'm pro-Allah Akbar because
I was like,
I think it's like...
Every time you watch a world star hip-hop video
or YouTube video where some bad shit is going down
and there are English people, what do you constantly hear
if there's a bunch of people watching a plane crash
or cars burn?
Oh my God!
And I think they're pretty analogous.
And I said that on the show, and he agreed.
And then I was like, but we don't often go, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, while we saw heads off.
That is the difference.
The difference is that if there were Christians out there, and before they cut someone's head off on LiveLeak, they said, Jesus is great! Jesus is the only way forward! Jesus is all I'm all about!
And then you would have to, and then if you ever heard somebody in public going,
Oh, Jesus! You'd have to be like, oh, fuck. Oh, okay.
No, it's just, it's one of those peaceful Jesus folks.
Like, no, it wouldn't happen like that. It's just silly.
First of all, when you don't speak a language, you only know, like, certain, it wouldn't happen like that. It's just silly to, first of all, when you don't speak
a language, you only know, like,
certain little tidbits of other languages, you know?
And so the ones you get hammered with over and over
over become the most easily to retrieve.
So Al-Akbar is one that we all have heard
many, many times on the news
and YouTube videos or wherever. And so
when you hear it, there's already, like, a visceral thing
because the only time you've seen it isn't at
all these prayer houses, because we don't live in the Middle East. We just hear it, there's already like a visceral thing because the only time you've seen it isn't at all these prayer houses because we don't live in the Middle East.
We just hear it on the fucking news right before shit blows up.
While the rocket-propelled grenade is still in flight.
Akbar is what they're saying.
And I believe the language can be subverted.
I think if dude suddenly became the way that everyone like put down Jewish people.
I don't know.
I just grabbed that one,
then I think you should stop saying dude
because now it's become a slur.
And Allah Akbar, like, no,
you're not clever by
saying it all the time, which is
what his claim was. Did you see Clerks 2?
In Clerks 2, they explain to
one of the characters, he's completely oblivious
that porch monkey
is a derogative term for black
people. And he's like, no, no, no, no way.
My grandma used to use that all the time.
You know, she'd see us being lazy
or sitting around. She'd stop being a porch monkey.
They're like, that is very racist.
He's like, huh, come to think of it,
she did once call a broken beer bottle
a nigger knife.
And then he decides that he's gonna
take it back so he said he
like puts he takes tape and writes on the back of his like Burger King
uniform it's not Burger King a porch monkey for life and then they're trying
he's having to defend that to black customers it's it Wanda Sykes comes in
yeah that's good that's a good movie I like I like that's a pretty funny
comparison amazing clicks to I lost its magic for me.
Of course it did.
It was not nearly as good as Clerks 1, although, although, I swear, I was 20 years old when it came out.
So the whole Donkey show had me rolling laughing.
And the funniest part of the whole Clerks 2 experience is that that employee at the burger place who's very naive about everything
and he thinks that his girlfriend has a pussy troll living in her pussy named
pillow pants and if he sticks his dick in her before they're married it'll bite
his dick off and he explains this to them super matter-of-factly in this with
the same confidence that like a 14 yearold kid explains sex to a 12-year-old kid.
Right?
And still incorrectly.
My favorite part of that show was the debate over whether
ass-to-mouth was yucky or not.
And in the very end, they concluded that in the right situation,
ass-to-mouth is good.
And,
I'll give away the end, one of the main characters
dates the girl that likes ass-to-mouth.
And I'm like,
ha ha.
Well,
he's gonna,
ah,
well,
good for him,
I guess.
He got the mayonnaise in her vagina.
Rosaria Dawson is so fucking hot.
I really like Rosaria Dawson.
What did you say about her vagina?
I missed,
you already got what?
She got the mayonnaise in her pussy earlier in that movie.
She's like,
ah, you weren't the one with mayonnaise in your cooch.
Cause they banged on the,
the preparation table.
Ah, I forgot about that.
I like those movies.
The things we remember. Well, that's a good
note to end on, perhaps.
Of course. Alright.
We apologize to any colored people
who listen to the show. All in good fun.
And anyone with post-traumatic stress disorder
over mayonnaise cooch.
Any collared people
either.