Painkiller Already - PKN #148

Episode Date: June 23, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

Alright, PKN episode 148. I have a first topic in mind. Oh, you always do when you get it started that quick. Alright, this is sort of an am I the asshole type thing here. And I'm doing it on PKN because I'm a little concerned I might be the asshole. So let me lay out how my day started. It started off great. I went paramotoring. Did something that I don't usually do in that. I flew to this restaurant met a friend who also flew there.

We flew together. We ate breakfast and we flew back. It's kind of neat to have a little paramotor adventure. As I'm landing, the concrete people are there. I did not realize they were coming. Jackie didn't know they were coming although she got an email. It's just not the best way to communicate with her.

It's mixed in with all her spam. Yeah. Email is not how you notify concrete delivery. So that was her only notification. She got an email saying the concrete people would be there. And here's their job. First, when you put a pool in, at least our kind of pool, you put the dirt around it, and then it settles, and there's holes around the pool. So then they put the dirt in again, and then they were going to lay concrete forms, get it inspected, and then actual have concrete itself.

So I get there, and the road in front of my house, which I should note is my road. When it's broken, I have to repair it, and I own that road. I own the land. It's not like a public street. It's my road. Think of it as part of my road. When it's broken, I have to repair it. And I own that road. I own the land. It's not like a public street. It's my road. Think of it as part of my driveway. It's damaged. They came in there with their trailer and they like gouged the fuck out of it. It's in our contract that they are not allowed to use that driveway. They are allowed to use the gravel driveway on the side of their house. But I guess guess no one told them or something so they fucked our road and then they go and they start unloading their heavy equipment on our driveway they're supposed to do this on the gravel it's all worked out it's in the contract

and uh it's a skid steer and they're just like dragging the skid skier gouging the driveway itself i'm sorry what is a skid steer? I'm sure you've seen it. It's like a short little thing for land. It has a bucket in the front that they pick it up, and you could Google it. Might call it a Bobcat. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, Bobcat makes,

there's lots of people that make skid steers, but thanks, Kyle. So anyway, they unload their skid steer on our driveway on the asphalt. And they like gouge it and scrape it the fuck up. And what's interesting to me is like the scrapes are like, not that it's a big deal. Our driveway needs repair, you know. So the fact that they scraped it. It does now.

But it's not that it has scrapes on it. It's the fact that the scrapes are like 12, 16 feet long. Like how much of a not fuck did you give when you did like a 16 foot long scrape across my driveway? It's not. You know, they didn't like only hear it at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

So. So that's like my introduction to these guys. And I go around back and I'm real cool. I'm like, hey, is there anything you need? Any questions you have? You know, I'm going to go shower up. You know, if you need anything, let me know. They're like, nope, everything's going great.

I go inside and the Internet's been out. Right. There's there's a fiber optic line across. We have marked it with flags and painted this line fluorescent orange so that no one would like accidentally yank it or not. No. And it is yanked the fuck out of the wall. And, um, the box that it goes into is also like dangling from the wall. And, uh, so I, I, I'm fuming mad and here's the, am I the asshole? I'm like, you guys yank this out of the fucking wall.

You can't pull this fucking wire. So in my head, my whole world is collapsing, right? Like I've got this show to do tonight, which is important to me, right? This is, this is, this is a big deal. I've got my mother-in-law's in the other room. She she's just in that room, like recovering from chemotherapy, fighting cancer, watching TV on Netflix all day long. That's what she does. So now she's in there in like a little prison. Well, now the internet's back. And, uh, and then you have, you know, my wife and daughter who use it like normal people. And my son, although he was sometimes like he's autistic, right? So sometimes he doesn't respond to situations like this really well. And, uh, and, and I'll just like, I'm so mad that, like, in my head,

these fucking monkeys grabbed the cords by their hands and yanked it out of the wall. Now, they might have snagged it with equipment and not noticed the bright orange flags or the fluorescent orange paint on the wire, but more likely, they gave no fucks, as evidenced by the driveway industry. Is it possible that at this time,

they are very aware of the fluorescent paint and the flags? I would guess. I would guess, yeah, that at this point, I might have brought it up, that it was painted fluorescent orange and that we marked it with flags. Was there a lot of gesturing? And holding a wire.

There's a black wire with like little springs of things. And I'm like, what the? Lots of hand motions. I turned Italian in this thing. I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm on the phone with AT&T and the guy's looking at me through the window and I give him like a like, how the fuck?

So the concrete guys packed up their shit and left, right? One of the guys was younger. I'm going to call him like 21 or something. And apparently he was in tears from my tirade. Jackie saw him and said, little Leo. What if that girl made a cry today? She said that.

Who relayed to you that this gentleman was crying? So you have the concrete people. They are subcontractors for the pool people. There's the pool guy, Josh, who was very good. He's always on top of everything. And he helped us figure out where the concrete should go. He has an eye for design and stuff like that. We like Josh.

But Josh was not on site, and that would have helped a lot. Also, the concrete guys have helped a lot. Also, the concrete guys have a foreman, and he was not on site either. Both of them were, like, they arrived 30, 40 minutes after the laborers did, who had fucked up at least three things in 30 or

40 minutes. So, a little ding on anyone in charge to let these'm a bit like whenever i hear them do these things like it makes me so mad that like my immediate mindset is like well they should probably be communicating through my lawyer at this point and they're going to beat that contract 100 or we will be in court that driveway is gonna be fucking fixed i don't care if i have to bring i have to take pictures and show them in court and document and point at them.

That driveway is going to be fixed. So, uh... The way you were leading into it, like, because anytime someone has, like, an am I the asshole story, and they're like, well, I think I might kind of be the asshole here. I was like, oh, I'm, like, 85% sure

Woody's going to be the asshole here. And the more you've said, the more I do not think you're the asshole. this was if i'm understanding correctly this was elucidated in the contract it was described as you will take this road not this uh not our concrete you know pathway not our driveway right that's inexcusable like that that was the one thing they were supposed to do right is hey when you remember when you pull in just come this way right Uh-huh, they must have been like oh, you know I can't be bothered to look at line what if you would ask them for only brown M&Ms

I would not have gotten that They would have brought fucking skittles. I mean I think the people I did curse and they're like Oh, they're not accustomed talking it really these fuckers aren't accustomed to being talked to at all they don't speak English one guy on site actually spoke English, and that was Baby Julio. He looks a little nice for the driveway. So you're telling me that the only man in the crowd who could actually understand what you were saying was brought to tears. The thing is, that's a lie. Because he was standing in the driveway when Jackie took Colin to parkour camp.

So she came back, and she's like, he wouldn't even move out of the way. She's like, I don't know what I was supposed to do, drive on my grass? And she's like, he wasn't welling up with tears. There was no, like, he wasn't upset. He was being a dick still. He hadn't sunk in yet. He hadn't sunk in yet. It was like PTSD.

There was a delayed effect. So then they backed off. They're like, well, there weren't really tears streaming. But, you know, he looked upset. And I'm like, well, there weren't really tears streaming, but he looked upset. And I'm like, whatever. I'm like, well, stop hiring pussies for your construction job. I think I might have used that word when I talked to John. I might have said, sounds like he was a pussy.

So I guess I think I've laid it out pretty evenly. And honestly, those are the things they did. My response had gestures and lots of you can't pull this fucking wire men knock their thumbnails off and fucking shoot themselves with nail guns you wrap that shit up and drive yourself to the hospital

there is no crime and those people they come back there I haven't worked on construction jobs but I've done a lot of minor ones and like roofing and stuff. And hired 15 laborers once and three laborers once. And then my dad's got a friend who's a contractor, and I've been to his job sites, and I've seen what goes on. And my dad's been like, look at that guy.

Look at that guy work. Because they'll be up there like these white men who are completely shirtless, but they're bronze from the sun. And they're swinging that fucking hammer as hard as they can There's no like tap tap tap to get the nail started. They start with wow They've got the talent And they they don't care they're men Yeah, like there's a over there putting in some concrete and probably he's probably trying to tap into the internet or something That's what he's doing

Because that's what they always do they all they're always like oh you brought him to tears it's ptsd i've been like well you know what i think maybe he did it on purpose i think maybe he was trying to get some pornography out of the wall or something so take it to your beard i and also i it's hard to judge the work they were doing aside from all the damage they were creating because they weren't done right but i'm looking at they were supposed to like pack in the dirt next to the pool and it's poorly packed in there's air spaces and whatnot i don't know if it was going to get better but the work they've done thus far is shit so that's a thing anyway they left the job site and josh was like you know i think we could have gotten them to come back had we just you know if josh had like

smoothed it over and said hey guys you know come on back we could have gotten them to come back if Josh had smoothed it over and said, hey, guys, come on back. We need this to get done. But he decided that wasn't the right course of action. Instead, they're going to try to switch people on jobs and get it. Yeah. Because they work with a couple of subcontractors. Use a different free company. Yeah.

So we're going to get a different subcontractor to work on it. That sounds awesome. I'm sure it'll delay the pool in the end, but fuck it. I don't think I wanted them doing it and I certainly didn't like the way they were headed. Am I the asshole? No, you're not the asshole. I don't know. I'm not imagining.

When you said the guy was crying, I didn't believe that for a second. There's nothing to gain as a man by crying. And so it's hard for me to imagine men doing it. I can't imagine a situation where I'd be like, if I cry here, it'll get me out of it. No, it'd just be like, if I cry here, I'll look like a bitch and get mocked in addition to losing whatever encounter

I'm currently losing. No, I just... There's no reason for it. And if it's set in the contract, it's like, they should have to go back and fix that. I can't imagine that it's a ton of work for a laborer crew to quickly fix your driveway. I don't know how to fix that. Yeah, I agree.

They need to handle that or hire someone to handle it. Did they scrape asphalt? Is that what they did? Yeah. The way that I would fix it to my standards, you're going to have to go back out there and spray that bitch with tar. You have to retard that thing. I get like I actually Googled it and, you know, but I didn't go long because I was on my phone. And that's that's one way to repair it.

There's another way of troweling it. I don't know the best way to repair it, but they should do something because otherwise it's just going to get wet and freeze and open. And that'll be where the first pothole forms. So yeah, they, they need to handle that. And I think the way that it went so bad is they had a trailer with the flat tire gave no fucks about the fact that the trailer had a flat and just drug

shit along the ground. What a great crew. Yeah. That wasn't the 18. No, no, that last part's not confirmed but maybe it was and somewhere else like uh like one of those ugandan toyota war trucks just barreled up and three drunken mexicans fell outside of it and we're like is this the right house somewhere else that happened there's maybe you did thing josh was like they're just not used to being

spoken to that way and i'm like really no i don't mean to be like a total ass that like doesn't treat laborers like full-fledged people or something but i just find it hard to believe that in the construction industry people bite their tongues as much as he says. I am accustomed to a much more gruff, no political correctness kind of like, this is a manly work area kind of thing. Very much like a locker room

or a sports team on the field at the same time. You fuck up, there's scolding. I've seen laborers get scolded many times. There's accountability. I've. I've seen laborers get scolded many times. There's accountability. There's accountability. I've seen a lot of laborers get scolded.

I've seen my dad do it. He screams at them in their face. He lets them know. He holds the thing. Look at this thing. This thing isn't supposed to be like this. You did this. You've been warned.

This is the third time. You're costing me fucking money. Last chance, Julio or Bob or whatever I remember as a little kid like sometimes being upstairs because my parents are always having like Renovations and like you know you're upstairs in your room doing whatever what homework and I'd hear like screaming From the kitchen or wherever downstairs, and I'd be like oh no mom and dad are fighting And then I'd hear like the other side of the voice being like well How do you expect me to get the supplies I need when you're not fronting me the money needed for this quality of tile?

I'm like, oh, thank God. It's just it's just the contractor. It's just the contractor being a cunt. But that was like something you're right. Like I heard my dad and that guy yelled and my mom and that guy yelled each other repeatedly because that's kind of what you need to do. It seems like you just get taken advantage of if you don't, because they will play the you know i'm just trying to keep they do the jerry seinfeld routine where it's like i'm just trying to keep as many options open for you as possible it's like no you're not you're trying to avoid making any kind of decisions i hired you as an expert and now you're not being an expert you're being a professional question asker like if i hire an accountant to do my taxes and they go you think you should file this part i'm gonna go are you fucking kidding me no you better tell me how to file this i think we get a deference here what

do you think i'm not really yeah i don't go behind the counter at subway and become my own sandwich artist i go there for a reason if i was to be more turkey on that bitch you're absolutely right about the professional question asker thing. I despise that in any kind of professional. You get it most often and most readily at a Home Depot or a Lowe's, though. You go in there, and you're looking at nail guns, and the guy walks by and says, hey, can I help you with anything? I want to be like, I don't know, can you? Do you know more than the name brands?

I want to rattle off, well, I need this, this, this, and that. Do you know the exact one, or are you going to have to start looking at labels now? Because that's what I'm doing, and I can read just fine. You know where I get it a lot? In design. Like, I'll say, like, all right, I'm Woody's Gamer Tag. I make Call of Duty videos. I need, like, a logo that represents me, and I need an intro. And usually it was kids.

Like if it was a kid, they'd be like, all right, okay. So what color do you want it to be? And what do you want it to look like? And what do you want? And I'm like, I don't know. And the more input I give you, the worse it will get. If I was any good at this at all, I'd do it. You know?

It's the creativity part. It's making something from nothing. It's like that is your part asshole. That's you You make a camel is what you end up doing It's like if there's like if you have a big group of people in a boardroom or something you're making a decision about what? Direction you're gonna go and marketing whatever the fuck and instead of like having a cohesive idea you let everybody be like I vote this Oh, I like it one aspect of that. I also want to add my two cents and by the end you're like oh this is awful because we pretended that everybody's opinion mattered that's the cliche right a camel is a horse designed by committee you know and they

all put in their own little two cents and you get something that doesn't fit together yeah a shitty horse i had the opposite experience but i have i was having the woody craft website made and the store in particular had a challenge in that like when we sold a rank woody craft had i don't know like nine or eleven different game types then every time you bought a rank you got all the things of the rank before it and you know it had all the things ranked before it and they were like nine total so each rank you got like i don't know 150 things so you get nine things and there's like a thousand things you get and i'm like how do we present all this information to people like people don't even know what they're

buying they figure it out slowly while they play here you know they did and this guy came up with this brilliant like tab system with scroll boxes and anyway he did great i would hire yeah well but you wouldn't hire those those those again. No, fuck those guys. And fuck them for making me feel bad. You know, poor Julio's in tears. Bullshit. My wife saw him. He wasn't in tears.

He was kind of being rude. I feel even less. Is it racist that I feel even less bad because at first I pictured like a white kid with blonde hair, but now that I know that it was a Mexican guy, I'm like, he should definitely be hardened to a little screaming and cursing. Like, right? Well, do you think he went home that night, or he's going home tonight, and his wife's like, Oh, Pablo, how are you today? Good day at work?

He's like, I've never been more thankful to not fully understand the language here. I could only see the tears welling in the eyes of Jacob, my good work friend, as this savage in a massive house, I guess, dealer. It's why I say, of course, I say nothing because this is a powerful, powerful man. He flies in. You think we have run of the place. Just do not use the side door. No, he flies in he knows i did fly in

that's hilarious yeah no they i'm glad they're not working on the pool. I'm not glad the pool's going to get delayed by some amount of time. So I watched, I hope it does work out, and I hope you sue them and make them fix your driveway. Because whenever someone fucks people over like that, I feel like someone should sue them. There should be more lawsuits, not fewer of them. Because more people need to be held accountable.

Go Trump. So I was on, I was trolling the internet last night. By that I mean, I don't mean fucking with people, I mean, you know, casting my net and seeing what I pulled back. And I found some videos that I knew immediately what he would hate. Because he's mentioned before he hates them. But it's those porn videos where the chicks are sad. They're not my cup of tea. This guy trolling wannabe porn stars just being really mean to him and like i'm a human being i'm not a complete monster or anything so half of me

every time he says something is like oh that's fucked man but then the other half is so tickled that i'm just laughing my fucking ass it's such a it's such a sweet and sour kind of thing you know it's it's both the same Casting couch thing or is this like a guy just going on live streams and just yeah They've they've come to him and this is legit He'd like this black chicks there, and and she's got this huge gaps in her teeth is like I'm guessing you're from some Country part of Louisiana then. He's like, I'm guessing you're from some country part of Louisiana then, huh? She's like, yeah. He's like, you know how I can tell?

She's like, how? He's like, smile. And she smiles. It's a huge fucking thing. And he's like, fucking your mouth at one point. And he spreads her lips all crazy. And he goes, look, it's the predator. And she starts laughing with it.

So it was OK. But another time, he does it to, like, eight chicks in succession. And, like, some of them cry. And some of them, like, get real sad and teary-eyed. And, like, you tell he hurts their feelings real bad. So he says that tooth or no tooth. I mean, gap or no gap. Oh, he says different stuff that's always true.

Oh, God. It's the ugliest titties I've ever seen how do you get pimples on your titties that's that's the most unflattering thing i've ever seen in my life you look like you're wearing a fucking diaper right now but then every now and he's not just complete monster because like he'll be like all right i'm gonna admit that's a nice fucking ass you got there that's real nice but the rest of you is just goddamn busted. Just fucking busted. It's so mean that there's a... I don't know how to...

I think I described it well by saying sweet and sour. Go to... It's on eFucked. Of course it is. E-F-U-K-T dot com. EFucked is not even like a porn site that you go to be like, oh, I'm gonna go masturbate to porn.

No, you go to eF, oh, I'm gonna go masturbate to porn. No, you go to Eat Fucked just to find, like, crazy shit, like, like, a lot of it's animal-related, isn't it? Like, killing animals, and, or I'm thinking of something different. Whenever, I see, like, the only place where I see killing of animals is, like, 4chan, and, like, if I see that that's in the thumbnail,

I keep on scrolling. If I'm on 4chan looking for funny things, uh, I, and, uh... You'm looking for funny things, I... You're looking for the pre-suicide tapes. I assume that's what the name of the show you're watching is. That is sad, though, because I'm not a woman,

and so I don't understand it, but I feel like if you're in deep enough that you're sucking a guy's dick and you get roasted with something, to then leave would be an admission that I got taken advantage of. I sucked a guy's dick for a while and then I got made fun of. But if you stay and you laugh about it or you just play it off or whatever, it's more like, oh, no, that's just kind of my cup of tea.

I like being called a big-toothed whore. I like them saying that it looks like my tongue's in jail my teeth are so fucked up like there were none of these chicks who i thought were like i bet you got a chuckle out of that experience like that didn't happen like she didn't get it walk out of there waddling with the cum taste in her mouth like i had a fun time and he had a good sense of humor i'm gonna going to call him later even if I don't get the job. They're like, oh, this was life-shattering. This is

life-shattering. The act of watching this for some reason tickles my funny bone in a weird, weird way. It's like I said, it's like this sweet and sour thing where at the exact same time, simultaneously, and at the same ratio, it's horrible and terrible but just fucking

hilarious because he's he's pretty good at roasting them uh he's pretty good at it like i already know i could not watch that video because i get so visceral i get stomach aches when i see like stuff that awkward like when people intentionally make it super uncool and i would be watching it trying to like feel for the girl a little bit and being like, oh, I'm watching this naked girl suck a dick. I'm not even getting anything out of it other than being like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got duped into this. There's not a lot of dick sucking. There's a pre-interview where they're sitting on the couch and then they get naked a little and then he comments on their body.

And then there is a blowjob at the end, I think. But you just see bits and pieces of that because it's mostly about like the initial trolling um and uh and the making fun of them um he's like all of these girls having sex or blowing like they're all none of them but none of them like get to the interview phase and say you know what you are an unkind sir i'm out of here no that doesn't happen he He's like, where the fuck are you dunking donuts? God damn. It's just like stuff like that the whole time.

Calling them fat and ugly and making fun of everything about them. It's horrible. I'm fully admitting that. But I'm talking about the effect it has on me on a deep level where this horribleness combines with the funniness

and it's a weird kind of experience. I watched three of them and then I turned it off. There were like eight of them to watch. I stopped short of that. Save some for later, right? I mean, what's up to tonight? Who eats all their Easter candy on the first day?

Exactly. You don't binge the entire House of Cards season in one sitting. You leave the mean, horrible last five episodes for something else. I'm going to not look into that. Yeah, I'll put Taylor on that one. Taylor, it seems sad.

What's up? Are you still doing the workout thing? How's it going? Status update? Do it. But you're not weighing yourself that much. I weigh myself on sunday i weigh 20 or i'm gonna say 206 again because it was like 205 and a half or something like that and so i'm just saying 206 again i don't count decimals i go the other way i i know and i uh i can tell though in the mirror like continuing to, like, move mass northward, it seems, like, getting it away from the stomach. And so, like, slapping areas on my body, which has actually become a pretty, it's a useful tool because, as Arnold Schwarzenegger says, if it jiggles, it's fat.

And so, like, slapping myself now doesn't jiggle nearly as much as it did you know a month ago six weeks ago i guess now i'm on week 10 week 10 of working out and i'm sticking to it all my clothes are fitting so much or like my my shirts are fitting way better i need to buy some clothes i've had to go get like some larger sizes that's partially because european sizes like i i've never been to europe but you fuckers can't be as small as your clothing is suggesting like this is like a double xl right here a double xl like no that thing barely gets around your arm you'd be the biggest frenchman in existence keep that in mind taylor i uh i suppose yeah i got on the i got on the scale this morning completely naked to get a perfect reading.

I was 173, so I've lost a significant amount of weight, I guess. You can't all be water weight, right? I feel like my face is a lot thinner. My love handles are gone. My pants don't fit anymore. I went to some old pants today. I dug those out, and they were still too tight because they're like a Us they're below a 30 or they're like a 30 maybe but they've shrunk or something or that or they're just a real homosexual

Cut of gene you know like I've got different. I don't always just get different things I've got narrow leg jeans, and I I don't have like those really tight emo jeans But I do have jeans that at this point on me after being washed over the years Will fit that way and those aren't those aren't gonna fit but um I feel so what are you? So you're feeling like you look good now? What's the step from here because you don't go much lower than like 173 or so? Seeing as how you're tall you'll start to feel like get lanky. Yeah, I can't I can't lose too much more weight That's that's getting a little silly should probably add a little uh muscle on i i'm uh i'm gonna start

working out more i've been i've been lifting or running or doing something about three four days a week sometimes it'll be a five day week but uh i guess i should start lifting um and maybe try to add a little muscle but But I'm having fun regardless. You know, whatever. I've been doing pretty good. I lost another pound since Thursday. It's Tuesday now. But I'm 207 low. So I'm hoping I get a 206 something by PKA and I can report a two pound week.

We'll see. Things are fitting better. Shirts are, like you say, the shirt fits better. My shirt hangs better. You know, like there's more in the, and it doesn't touch the belly. I like my shirt to be loose in front of the belly, and that's the thing that didn't really happen. I'm down 13 pounds total, and they're fitting better shorts.

It's good. It's good. I never miss a kettlebell workout. I find those to be just, like, not easy. They're hard work but convenient whereas you know like to go outside and do cardio or something is a whole routine and typically unpleasant and I've been slacking somewhat on that but mostly because there's like I don't know we spread 20 pounds of mulch or I mean 20 cubic yards or we mow that day and I had to like fix the mower and that was

like just like I don't know something around the house has been brutal that, so I don't really do actual cardio. I just, you know, whatever, do yard work or something. And, uh, but I never missed a kettlebell and didn't good at that. I've increased both the amount of stuff I do and the weight I do it with. So that's nice. So, uh, yeah, chipping away, you know, I, I want to lose a lot of weight. Sometimes it's eyeopening how much, like I want to lose a lot of weight. Sometimes it's eye-opening. I'm down 13 pounds

and not halfway. So that's a lot of pounds. I let myself get into quite a state. But, you know, that's where I am. I got my medium shirt on today. I actually ordered a few medium shirts. That's always a real I remember

Kelly on The Office. she's like i just ordered a bunch of swimsuits size two i'm gonna look amazing and she's like starving herself drinking like nothing but honey and vinegar or something like that uh so so i ordered like uh i don't know three hundred dollars worth of lacoste shirts or something like that, which means I wear two. But I wear them in medium. And they fit, you know? Nice. Real happy. Real happy.

A medium for me would look like a woman's bathing suit. Like I was in a one-piece. If I ever try to put on a medium, it's like just how tight it is. Like on the whole torso. It's just like, oh, this isn't flat. But I like that. I feel like it doesn't get so

tight that it's like and like it's like it's like unseemly but it's uh it's um i don't know it's like a slim fit here's something like so my large shirts used to not be flattering because like i don't know like it'd be like oh yeah those are my boobs that's one of the places in which i gain weight and that's my belly that's the other place you can really see them all in this large but an extra large was unflattering in a different way and that it kind of hung too loose and you know like I would feel comfortable in it like I was hiding everything but I see myself in a picture and I think that's not a good look either as a matter of fact it's just hard to find a good look when you're too fat nobody looks looks at Kevin Smith and goes like, is he fat?

Is he not? I can't imagine Edmonton Oilers jersey. What's happening under there? Oh, perfect, perfect. But now the largest fit much better. And as I'm getting fitter, my posture's improved. And I feel like that's almost half of the equation. I just stand a little prouder and a little better.

And so yes, definitely made progress. Definitely have work to do. I almost bought one of those neck traction things off of Amazon last night. So this thing, like, it looks like you're hanging yourself. Did you learn about it from Rogan? Yeah. I learned about it from Joe Rogan. Yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, I got this whole thing.

I get up against the door, and then I'm like pulling a pulley and a crank. And it pulls you. And I'm like hanging myself. He's like in my neck, goes click, click, he was yeah, I got this whole thing. I get up against the door and then I'm like pulling a pulley and a crank And it pulls your head off And I'm like hanging myself He's like and my neck goes click click click and I was like when I heard him say that I was like ooh I like when my neck goes click click click like I might squeak I might have some spinal compression here Maybe we could like get that I might be six foot without proper footwear Six foot or who knows

Put me on the rack, that one out, bitch. Put me on the rack. That's what it takes. You know wings would. I think that Joe Rogan's doing this because he's, as we all know, That's the future. Weight loss is a thing of the past. Now, stretch people.

Come with me. I love to see like an eight foot tall Wings of Redemption. You just make him proportional. This can't be that useful Yeah, this guy's just it's basically you put a jockstrap on your head And then you've got a pulley that goes up on your door And then you pull on the jockstrap pulley lever and it pulls your head Like kind of go like put your hands on your head

and then push up. And look at that. Look at this. You've saved $57. You've saved $57 with this simple hand movement. I want it. I almost bought it, but I don't remember what turned me off. Oh, I know what it was. I went down the rabbit hole, and there were all these really expensive

ones, and there were these that looked like medical devices versus the ones that looked like something your mom would have in her closet uh versus the ones that look not your mom woody we know she's got some crazy stuff yeah like i instantly assumed they were toys for the bedroom i meant like i don't know some moms have in closets vacuum cleaner from the 80s, okay. The plastic dust covers for the couch in the den. Like, whatever. Like, weird shit in your mom's closet. But I ended up just not pulling the trigger on it.

Because it went down that rabbit hole of not knowing which one to get. I don't like that. I like when there is, when you're into a sport, a hobby, or whatever it is, anything, and you're like, oh, yeah. That's the one. That's what everyone gets. That's the good one. Oh, okay. Well, now not only will I have the good one, but no one will ridicule me. No one will act like because they bought something with an apple on the back, they're smarter than me for some reason.

I don't call it the rabbit hole. You almost got him. Well, he does reply to everybody individually I don't call it the rabbit hole. You almost got him. He does reply to everybody individually whenever we text him. We have a group text, and then Kyle replies to all of us individually, but not the group. He replies to each of you individually.

I'm not sure on the back of it. But I don't call that the rabbit hole. I call it the purchasing elevator, and I do it all the time. It's like, you know what? I need a speaker. I would like to have like a portable speaker that when I do my kettlebell routine, I could listen to and also maybe have it be like big and loud enough that you could use it by a

pool, right? And to fill an outside space takes a good speaker. So I start by like, hey, these are not that bad. These things are like $55. Oh, well, this one's actually $200. This one's actually $400. You know, this $800 speaker would be the best one. I'm not spending $800 on a speaker.

That's outrageous. It's not even that important to me. I did it three times today. Up and down. Three times today. What did you buy? I was going to buy a carburetor. And we were working on that.

For that black car? Yeah, it's an Impala. Or it's not an Impala. It's a Chevelle. It's a 67 chevelle uh it's a 67 67 chevelle and it's got a 454 454 cubic inch uh engine in it which is very big and but it's got a shitty carburetor on it and and i was like we need a nice carburetor and i was dad was like well we'll do this we do that i was like i'll take care of the carburetor and i'm like i'm over here i'm like i'm looking at this holly uh racing carburetor and i'm like don't i need two carburetors really it's just like i started off and i could have knocked this thing out for 250 a dead would have been like that's a damn

nice carburetor that'll get things done and now i'm looking at two 400 carburetors like yeah like i'm basically going sli on the carburetors so you buy a new manifold an intake manifold to work two carburetors how does that work i would have to i believe yeah i'm not sure that that's that was the crux that's where i stopped it i was like i don't i i was i was having this thought i was like do i need a am i gonna need more parts now to even make two work because i I kind of want two. And I just stopped. I'm doing the same thing with the seats of the car.

I was going to buy some seats for it. And I'm like, ah, standard bucket seats, $500. Done. Ooh, $750 racing seats. $1,000 set of premium Roush racing seats made for this model. Well, and I just keep finding something better. And then it's like, well, what kind of leather do you want on them? It's like, I didn't even consider leather.

The purchasing elevator. I'm curious because I know you work on cars all the time with your dad as, you know, a thing. He works on them more than I do. I get over there a day or two a week. How often is, like, a project finished? Like, is there just, like, a host of cars out there that are kind of like, oh, I remember building that one. Ah, we don't drive it as much as we thought we would, did we? Because we just, like, pick, is it like collecting magic cards almost or something where, like, you've got a new car and then you finish it.

And then by finishing it, you're like, all right, well, you'll be fun to drive someday, but I kind of want to build something else. Every time what's happened is every time we've finished building a car, it's always been meant to be a driver. And like, oh, yeah, this is my 35 Ford or this is my 55 Chevrolet Bel Air or whatever. And there's always someone who sees it and they want it and uh they'll offer a price for it like nah we really like this thing and the end you know a year ago by and they live in the same community they'll be like you sure i'll give you 22 000 and and eventually we just end up selling them all he had a um fixed up a 67 rs camaro a couple years ago same thing happened with it it was gone right away someone wanted it and how does the ownership work because it would it would maybe i'm a dick or something i don't you can tell me but like if my father was working on a car it would be awkward for me to be like you

know what i'm gonna buy the carb and the intake manifold and the seats just because you know i like helping out on the car like it yeah i and my... Dad and I have a real fluid situation with money. What's his is mine, and what's mine is his. I don't care. You know, not at all. And, yeah, it's always been that way. I wouldn't even consider caring about $1,000 here or there. There's no...

It's like, you know, you buy a friend coffee back and forth, but it's a lifetime of that with vehicles and, like, bigger things. Well, no, my father's been generous. As a kid, he used to charge me interest on anything. Like, I want to go to the movies. All right, 11% interest. Not even 10, where the easy math was. No, 11.

And he said that was better than the banks would give me, which I don't even know is true. I do know the rates were very high. And I had other friends' parents offering to undercut him. Like, really? 11%? I'll give you 10%. You know? And, but as an adult, you know.

What? Yeah, your parents didn't charge you interest. That is fucking bananas. That he would charge you 11% interest. The fact that it's 11 is even funnier because like you said it wasn't even he couldn't do 10 he goes no that sounds made up like you read in a book 11 interest ah if you don't like it take it to the bank matt he's an accountant you know so he he kept all of our like comings and goings, all our financial interactions together on this yellow legal pad.

And he'd break out this, you know, like an accountant's calculator. What is it? An adding machine. It's not a calculator. It's an adding machine. And he'd just be like not even looking at, you know, and then he'd like arrive at like my payoff number or where I was now because time had elapsed and there's interest. And yeah, that was how we number or where I was now because time had elapsed and there's interest. And, uh,

yeah, that, that, that was how we did money when I was a kid. Did he ever drop compounded interest on you? Of course it was compounded. Of course. His dad is a fucking loan shark.

This reminds me, I watched Sopranos last night and, and Christopher's friend who's like a writer for NBC, comes in on the poker game. He loses $57,000 to the house. Chris says, all right, I'm going to give you another $3,000 for incidentals. You owe me $60,000 now. It's two points a week compounding interest if you miss a payment. This is your dad!

He never beat me up. All right, that's two slurpees. I know that episode, and Chris really fucked that guy up for not paying on time. You may make sure he knew. My father did not do that. No. And as I think about it, really, if my father needed me to get an ass kicking, wouldn't he contract my mother to do that? That's true.

I feel like you were watching mob movies growing up, and those scenes were happening like, I promise I'll be good next week. I'll do it for you, Paulie. I promise. And you were watching it like, well, did Saul not realize that today was Tuesday and the money's due? You think he's just going to forget about it? Someone's dad didn't care. Well, in his defense, I learned the value of a dollar you know i didn't just i didn't think slurpees were free or movies or what have you oh but but i mean talking about the the carburetor thing i mean if i if i ask for the car he'll give me the car you know it's it's it the the the ownership the car is fluid you know i mean it's it's my car as much as it's his car

everything that each of us own i think we feel that the same way about uh know i mean it's it's my car as much as it's his car it's everything that each of us own i think we feel that the same way about uh and i like it that way um like i don't have anything that's not his he doesn't have anything that's not mine i don't know why we would like nobody's i mean like it's my father right like nobody would ever come between us he would never do me wrong like he's dead yeah i Yeah, I mean, I would certainly... I've entered into legal contracts with him before, so he could look after me. You might as well. No one I would trust

more. He would never do anything... He'd kill himself if it would benefit me. He would never put himself ahead of me for anything ever. That's the guy you trust. That's certainly a guy that you don't care about. If you want a $1,000 carburetor,

here's one. If my truck breaks down, he's the first one to be like, oh, we'll just bring it over here and I'll spend the next two weekends fixing it for you and just pay for the parts. That is a good relationship to have. It's neat that you have that with your dad. Seems like you guys are really

in a best friend scenario. Yeah, absolutely. We've always been more like brothers or something like that than anything. Hope graduated high school. I don't think we've done a show since then. She was the speaker. She did awesome. Turns out there were four speakers. She was the best. The principal was also really good too, although opinions in my family were all hot and cold on that. I thought he was good. But yeah, it was cool. Strong opinions about

the principal. Yeah, yeah. We're all into who was the greatest speaker because I guess Hope is into it. She had all these tassels and stuff. Her robes were really decorated. I never said anything, but I thought a lot. As I watched the

kids come by i'm like oh that kid excelled in high school that kid excelled in high school my kid excelled that kid did not do that kid looked like me on graduation day with no decorations whatsoever on the gown did you see any were there any pregnant kids no not that i could see i don't remember any kids there was no cheering and and here's the thing tell me where you stand on this i don't think there should be cheering not individually their their stance on it was like hey this is the kids moment don't cheer up in the stands and they were right every time someone broke that rule we turn around and we look at the people cheering and ignore the guy on stage i had a secondary thought though like on one hand those

people are trying to be the most supportive you know fan club in the in the building by cheering some of them had signs with their kids faces printed on them on a stick that's all about them that's all about them here's here's what i thought dude if graduating high school is that momentous an achievement for you guys, then that tells me something. You know, this should be like graduating seventh grade. You know, this is not the high point of your life. Getting this piece of paper, a high school diploma, should not be an accomplishment that you're like, dude, like, look at me. No, man, this is a baseline accomplishment something that oh that's a good one i like that i got my polio vaccine here what do you think of

that right yep yeah i'm not gonna get polio it's like the certificate that says i i've completed the objectively easiest part of life the part where you you don't have really any responsibilities like it's not like work where if you show up and they're like, hey, did you prepare that presentation or whatever the fuck we needed you to do? And you go, no. Overslept. Missed it. What if I do it tomorrow? Can I get it for only 10% off?

They're like, no, you're fucking fired. I'm sorry. What about this diploma? Ishtar did your work for you. Ishtar came over here, knocked it out, and now we decided that Ishtar can actually run your department. And he brought me this delicious curry. If your family is going bonkers and they're really that proud of finishing high school, that to me implies that they don't have higher expectations. It's more than that to me because I definitely graduated from a shittier high school than you did like a thousand percent and and and I could just see those white trash hillbillies up there

like mamas with her big belly with that sign and it's just like this is about mama and her big belly right now she's screaming so we'll look at her she's like go Andre yeah and I'm just like so hard to listen to that's exactly how it goes though right like like it's some big bellied bleached haired blonde lady up there who's like 180 pounds overweight she's got a billboard that's got misspellings in it it's like you came to a high school graduation you would think you could get this laureate over here to help you out with the word there you know there's three different like come on like figure it out it's i i remember telling my parents like not a peep and my mom's

like of course not a peep and i'm like same team keep your eye on dad don't even let him clap too loud like like let's just tamp this down i gave hope a subtle golf clap i i um oh i had a thing oh but what your your thing was maybe it'll lead back into it but you were saying like the cheering thing like if you have a class unless you're in the like unless you're graduating from a school that has like 60 people in every grade if you cheer after every person like you're willfully making that that entire you know kit and caboodle an hour longer at least least. If there's hundreds of kids and everyone has to deal with three seconds.

Three seconds of clapping and nonsense and then ten seconds for all the kids with parents who are just raucous and assholes. You're doubling the length of it. And it's not fair to the kids who don't have... Aaron Anderson, his poor family has to sit there

the entire time as they're like, oh my God, oh my God, I hate this. I hate this so much. Like, why can't we change our last name to Zimmerman so we can just show up late or whatever it is? Like, I don't know. That pissed me off in high school during graduation as well. It was like, are you, you're all, all of you know that none of the students and none

of the other parents for the most part want to be here They want to get this done so they can go have their like family dinner where they have the real celebration Of like oh, we're so proud of you and like little conversation everything like you're you're just being an asshole I don't know At this ceremony they said if the kids did anything like attention-grabbing or you know other than just receive it They wouldn't get their diploma. Yeah, so one guy goes up there. I'll do it He did uh, that's what i thought i thought it was an empty threat right oh my god you're gonna take my diploma away are you

am i gonna contact the state yes listen they don't have to they did a kid get up there he did finger guns pow pow pow and then a 360 it was at michael scott and he didn't get his diploma like it apparently all he has to do is like show up to like a second thing meet with the principal they're gonna discuss the event and then give him his diploma i've heard this happening before it's legit they like don't give you a diploma and i've always wondered like this sounds a lot to me like when schools take your cell phone and all it takes is your dad to go up there and be like, are you fucking stupid? You just stole from me. Give me the cell phone or I'm going to call the police right fucking now, thief.

You're a thief, Mr. Principal. Maybe I'll just shoot you, thief. You end up right then and there. I don't like thieves. There was always a 0% chance my dad was gonna... Anytime there was a problem with taking my phone or getting me in trouble at school, it was always almost like calling home, being like, yeah, Mom, what's Dad's number at work?

Because I need to call and talk to him about this. Because you know how moms get. They'll get called in and be like, oh, well, they were just really worried about your safety. They thought you were going to shoot somebody's eye out with that pen gun that you'd made. And it was like, not a real like it was a gun that shoots pens not yeah I had not a do's a ballpoint pen you take it apart

I know that exact yeah but oh there's nothing more satisfying than hearing the times like from home where my dad would like call you know dr. Stevens or whoever the fuck the the main guy the school was and like have to say like so you took my son out of class out of class because he was joking around in gym he was joking around in gym and you took him out of history is that what you did you did so you think it was so he goofs off and you take him out of class is that what i should be telling my son that if he goofs off he gets out of class no i didn't think so either exactly right and if you call me at work again, I'm gonna be furious.

I pay for this school. And it was always like, oh yeah, this is a private school. We got your fucking number, bitch! We got your number! You can't do shit to me! Because it would be like, oh yeah, Taylor's gonna be missing school again? Well, actually, that's the ninth day this semester. Oh yeah, is this a public school? No, it's not! It's not, is it?

Alright, you can go ahead and eat shit. Yeah, alright, eat shit. Oh, I's not. It's not, is it? Alright, you can go ahead and eat shit. Yeah, alright, eat shit. Oh, I loved that. And then all my friends at public school would be like, oh, I missed my seventh day, and now I can't miss anything else. The government won't let me graduate. It's like, oh, that sucks. Should have had your parents send you to religious

indoctrination camp. I think I would have preferred that. I definitely would have liked a religious indoctrination camp over public high school. Or public school in general, I think so. I had so many have preferred that. I definitely would have liked a religious indoctrination camp over public high school. Or public school in general. I think so. I had so many issues with teachers. I had a teacher in fourth grade that just totally had it out for me.

I was doing stuff, I'll admit. But stuff that fourth grade boys do. I remember I pissed once in the bathroom. In the urinal. Not everyone did. I flushed the urinal with my foot i flushed it like that someone told on me some cunt by the way these guys these are the guys who like would run around and just piss in the floor like like firemen and uh and my parents

had to come to the school because of that because i flushed the toilet with my foot i'm 30 fucking one years old i still flush in my foot if I flush them at all. You know what's the worst? When I played hockey in like a men's league, and people would flush the toilet with their skate, right? And I'm like, what? They're busting up toilets. You have to understand a skate is heavy.

It has some mass to it because it needs to protect your foot from the puck. It hits it all the time. And something about it, like you don't have sensitivity. Like if you're wearing a boat shoe, you know exactly how hard you're flushing. If you wear this clod hopper of a skate, people kick the handle off. And now you can't flush. You're 100% right. Go into any hockey locker room and walk into the bathroom area

and try and find all the toilets intact. You will not because someone did exactly what Woody said where they go, all right, let's flush that. And they go bang and they kick it with their fucking three pound razor blade on their foot and they break it. And then they have to like quickly duck, walk back into the locker room.

Like, that's not flooding. Let's all right. Head out to the ice guys. So we can come back and pretend this is a surprise in an hour. Oh my God. Who could have ruined everyone's equipment? Speaking of all the time.

Stanley Cup all over. I'm baffled, really. I don't understand how a player with such an underperforming player could do so well. How can Sidney Crosby have two cups in a row? Not even that. Also, two

Conn Smythe trophiesies which they give to the most valuable player throughout the stanley cup playoffs i really i mean you know what i have an answer to that obama has a nobel peace prize he killed like 26 000 people they gave him that shit right out of the gate at one point he was in three wars at once. He had Iraq, Afghanistan, and I think Syria all cooking at the same time. This would be like if at the beginning of next season, they're like, and the 2018 cons might win or Sydney or Osmond. Oh, that's – but he didn't even make the playoffs yet. He'll make it.

He'll be fine. He's made a lot of promises. So that trophy, I don't put much weight in that. But I don't understand how he's getting the Cups. I wonder how well that team would do if I was on it. Hypothetically, right? How many players are on a professional hockey team? Are there 30?

23 or something, maybe? 23? They could have won Stanley Cup with you on there. Yeah. I mean, what if I? 23 or something, maybe? 23? They could have won the Stanley Cup with you on there. Yeah. I mean, what if I was their backup goaltender? Did their backup goaltender even play? Because I could not play. I'm good.

Yeah, that would have... Fleury played from the first two rounds and played out of his mind good, and then he got a little hurt, I believe, and then Murray stepped in and played incredibly too. And he's only, I think, 20 years old. This fucking, this lucky, this Matt Murray motherfucker plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins. He's a goalie as well.

And so I have, like, a lot of jealousy towards him. So where he jumped in. So basically, his career started. He played for the Pittsburgh Penguins last year, not during the regular season. It was just during the playoffs. And Fleury, their other goalie, got injured. And so they go, Murray, we need you to come come in you've never played in the nhl before but we think that you're

gonna do okay playing in the playoffs to start and he's like all right i guess so he's like a six four six five gangly like goal like that's usually goalies are usually taller and he goes out there kills it plays retardedly good the entire playoffs and wins a Stanley Cup. Plays his rookie season this year, first year in the NHL, regular season, and then wins another Stanley Cup. So he's the first player ever to have won two Stanley Cups by the end of his rookie season. Wow, that's impressive. What a great way to start your adult life, right?

That guy is totally totally gonna get a heroin addiction or, like, pain pills. Like, he's gonna, like, his hands are gonna get broken really badly and he's just gonna be on the pain pills, so he's trying to get that edge back, but he just doesn't have the grip or the touch anymore, and he's just gonna fucking melt.

Just go down that real spiral. He's already playing good, and he's a goalie. So, like, you're looking at this guy and you're like, this is like hypothetical Taylor in dream life. For me, that guy was Eric Lindros. Eric Lindros is within one day of my age.

He's February 18th or 20th or something. Now, Eric Lindros is barely remembered. That's my peer group. You know? Fuck. Now Eric Lindros is barely remembered. That's my peer group. Fuck. He would have been remembered more.

Yeah, if he had stayed healthy. If people don't know, Eric Lindros was a star. I think he won the Hart Trophy, which is the MVP for hockey. It was Scott Stevens that ruined him, right? Yeah, Scott Stevens was the coup de gras but he he just threw his body at everyone his whole career what he was was a talented hockey player not afraid to get in fights and not afraid to finish checks and it turns out that's really rough on your body and he was like a nfl running back like oh he's Like, oh, he's amazing. Three years later, ah, he's broken. Yeah.

Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes. Have you seen the new Adidas jerseys? No. I guess all the NHL teams have new Adidas jerseys. Oh, I need to look at them and see. This hit was so bad on Lindros from Stevens, they call it an incident. Oh.

If it was a matter, Comey wouldn't be in this. I was about to say, if it became the matter in question, we'd have to get together some senators. It happened in like six seconds. I looked at the Blues jerseys the other night. If I remember, they're not very attractive. Oh, I love the Blues jerseys.

Sort of a dark grayish blue kind of thing. The new NHL jerseys. Sort of a dark grayish blue kind of. The new NHL jerseys? Let's see. Yeah. I liked the light blue blues jerseys from this year. They looked really dark when I looked at you. I don't like that as much. Because I like the lighter color some.

Yeah. I mean, I just really fucking hope that they get rid of some of the teams with just awful offense. Game six of the Stanley Cup final on Sunday night. The Nashville. What the fuck? Who was that? That wasn't me, was it?

Yeah, something happened on your end, Taylor, where your microphone seems to be muted or at least crushed right now. And it started playing that audio from the Stanley Cup video that you're watching. I don't even have. Am I back? Somewhat, but it's still... That's just about one hour. This might be a good time.

PKH episode 148. I hope you guys all enjoyed it. Have a good night. Fix my driveway, bitch!