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It is PKN episode 149.
All right, so we got a couple topics lined up.
Do you want to start with the UFC thing?
Yeah, yeah.
So Jermaine Durandamy is the 145-pound women's champion.
That's a new weight division.
And to initiate, to set it off, they had her fight Holly Holm for the belt.
And that was the fight where there were a lot of hits after the belt.
I can participate.
After the belt, yeah.
Yeah, Duran to me hit her multiple times after the belt.
And it wasn't just that she hit her after the belt.
It was how she reacted to it to me that has me so soured against her.
It was really kind of a laughing it off, whoops, aren't I so silly kind of thing.
Like, whoops, did I hit her after the belt?
Like, she's like sticking her after the bell like she's
like sticking her tongue out and it's a big deal i didn't see that i want to mention one of the hits
was really good like she hit her really hard they were both in a second i think but yeah yeah i i
couldn't tell you if it was the first or second but one of them really kind of wobbled holly home
it was the hardest hit holly took the whole fight was was that one it was one of those it hit her
it's it's been like
a year now, but I remember her like kind of getting
caught like this, and it was one of those things where
her whole head moves away from her body
and she's staggered
and like, and that's the, and the bell has
already rung. It's not at the bell, it's
well after the bell.
It was like a, there was a combination, but this was
like the third strike in the combo.
Is this not the recent fight where Holly Holm kicked that lady in the ass?
No, this has nothing to do with that.
Kyle's right. I'm sorry. You finish your story.
So really don't care for Duranami.
She got the win in that fight, but it was a close decision the way I recall.
But like I said, it's been a while ago.
So hate her, and I was looking
forward to the point where they unleash Chris Cyborg onto her. She's the well-known female
cheater who is going to, it's going to be a struggle for her to get down to 145 pounds.
She used to fight at 135, but I don't think she can get there anymore without whatever cocktail
she was on. She's presumably still on something, but probably not the full
mixture that she was on before.
I don't know that she ever fought at 135.
I could be wrong, but I don't think that that's the case.
I'll check. I don't know.
I watched a bunch of her, like, I don't know if it was Invicta
or Pride or something, some
bullshit. I remember there was
fake fog and
strobe lights, and I remember thinking, like,
this looks cheap.
But I guess she was fighting... Ah, it doesn't matter.
But anyway, this Duran Dami chick
clearly terrified of Cyborg
for obvious reasons.
And she's been refusing to fight her
for the last six months or something like that.
So UFC slash Dana White,
however that actually works in real life,
says, ah, well, you're not the champion of 145 anymore.
We'll just have these other two chicks fight for it, and whoever wins that, they'll have that belt.
You can't be a champion and a cum dodger.
Unless you're Conor McGregor.
Or Michael Bisping, kind of.
Well, he's very good on the microphone.
You think most of those women in the UFC are cum dodgers?
You think most of them are? You don't think those girls dodge?
I bet they take so much more force to the face from real punches, real kicks, they don't mind a bit.
I think a lot of them are intimate.
So what you're saying is as professionals they're designed to take shots to the face.
I'm saying as a professional a shot of ejaculate to their lady face is much
less offensive than, oh, you know my
job is getting punched, correct? Oh, no, I don't
mind one bit. You know, swallow,
I'm just thankful I can. I don't think that women
dislike the ejaculate because of the force
exerted as much as perhaps the humiliation
entailed.
But anyway, they yanked this
chick's belt away, and they're gonna have
two other chicks fight for it, one of whom is Chris Cyborg, the other is I think her name's Megan something or another, who um but anyway they yanked this chick's belt away and they're gonna have uh they're gonna have two
other chicks fight for one of whom is chris cyborg the other is i think her name is megan
something or another who they just signed and i i think that that was all contrived they were like
yeah as soon as we get someone who will and can fight chris cyborg for this belt like durandam
he's fucking gone because a she's from one of those bullshit countries that don't even count. One of those countries that, like, if their neighbors were, like, Middle Eastern, then they'd have already lost their country.
It wouldn't be theirs anymore.
Like, where's she from?
She speaks Dutch or something.
Like, she's from one of those silly countries.
One of those silly countries.
He's from the same one as Bas Rutten.
Bas Rutten, wherever he's from.
He's from Holland, one as Bas Rutten. Bas Rutten, wherever he's from. He's from Holland, right?
Holland, then.
I never recall exactly where he's from.
He's from the Netherlands.
Oh, he's from the same place as our good friend
Kwebbelkop.
Where the fuck is Kwebbelkop
from in the Netherlands?
I think he lives there, but you know.
It's a seasonal thing for Quimble Cop.
He's got so many places all around.
Her name? Oh, never mind.
I thought we had her name wrong.
You're making me think about these UFC fighter ladies,
obviously taking it in the mouth, in the face,
and I bet it's like the inverse of that thing.
You know how you always hear like,
oh yeah, this super high-level executive banker or this NFL team owner or something.
Their sexual thing is they like to get whipped and berated because they're always in charge all the time making every decision.
And everyone's always looking at them going, what do we do?
What do we do?
You're the last guy in this pass of the buck.
And so when they get in the sexual world, they're like, I don't want any
responsibility. I just want to be here and do whatever. Now, these women, I bet it might even
be the opposite where they're doing such a traditionally masculine thing all day,
beating the shit out of each other that when they get in the bedroom, they just want to be treated
like dirty, dirty, feminine, hyper feminine whores. I bet it runs the gambit.
I bet it runs the gambit.
Here's one thing I'll say for sure.
It's all exactly the same.
The 135-pound champ, the girl who destroyed Ronda Rousey last year,
this Amanda Nunez chick, is gay.
And it's clear that she is the more butch character in that relationship because her girlfriend kind of comes in the ring and like celebrates with her and everything.
And so there's definitely that side of the female UFC fighters.
And yeah, I'm sure there's the side of the ones that would want to be dominated since they're clearly so physically imposing.
But there's got to be the opposite of that as well.
But the problem would be like how intimidating would that be?
Like, you would have to be yourself.
Like, if you're going to date this chick, you'd have to go get your blue belt or something, right?
If she likes being dominated, you better not be screeched, right?
She throws you in a fucking arm bar all of a sudden.
Like, I thought you were going to get on top.
I didn't know you were going to fucking lock me up.
Stop sweeping me into mount.
It would be like if you're like a small girl and Brock Lesnar hires you,
you know, a small woman, obviously, not some creepy shit.
But he's like, yeah, I need you to smack me around a little bit,
you know, make me feel small.
You're just going to be like, well, I'm not totally comfortable with this, frankly.
You know, like, I don't, you know, please, please don't make me hit you.
Hit me like I'm a bitch.
You know, like, whatever the fuck he was saying.
You gotta have to hit him with a tire wrench or something.
Harder!
Brandon Schwab talked about what it's really like.
I mean, like, dying to say this.
So Brandon Schwab, if people don't know, he was a UFC heavyweight fighter.
At one point, he might have been top five.
I don't know.
There's not that many heavyweights.
But he dated Ronda Rousey and a couple other UFC women.
And he said that he's like, dude, it's not good.
They're like dudes.
And he went and expanded what dating is like a dude is.
And he said they're kind of like guys.
They're not supportive.
That nurturing side isn't there.
This is across his ufc
girlfriends that in this notion that they sort of like prop you up and that is like no they're just
like guy friends they cut up and they they do their thing but they don't have that like feminine
sort of assistant role that that sounds great i don't need that shit i heard that and i was like
oh that shit i i kind of like that about that about Jackie, the supportive side of her.
Nobody's going to fuck with me now.
It's always the opposite.
You've got some mouthy girl starting a fight with a guy and she's like, oh, hey, hey, deal with this guy now.
It's the complete opposite.
I'd just be fucking stepping on sneakers and cutting in line, bumpumping into people and spilling drinks on them.
They said shit.
Honey, come over here.
This man's got a problem with us.
This gentleman has an issue.
Because like
87% of men
just won't hit a woman back, right?
Like I would say at this point in time.
I am the 13%.
Look, I've been
tested on this member of the 13% yet and I really think that like like I was
watching I can't remember which UFC fighter but she was in in Afghanistan or
Iraq or something with troops like leg kicking him and the Marines and like
say the Marines they're like yeah give me two or three but you could tell they hurt and when they like she punched one in
the chest and you could tell like wow she hit him really fucking hard it's still a girl and
everything like this marine would just beat her to death but yeah imagine like how that must be a
little bit not fun as the female like like this guy's six four he's his his chest is so big like
when she hits it he's just
like yeah you pretty hard but like if i grabbed you like i'd just squeeze until the air wouldn't
go in anymore in the same way that lozon says he would lose to shack i believe you if this guy's
six four but a lot of marines are like 160 pounds and oh yeah yeah and they're just guys you know
you know i'm not seeing these look like look like some... The guy that I'm...
My friend in the army doesn't like big.
He's like, if you're getting that jacked
and you're swole and you're a soldier,
he's like, you've gone beyond any utility.
Now you're just a pain in the ass
for anyone that has to carry you.
That's his mindset on it.
No, sounds like a guy who hasn't had to carry
a ton of shit before out in the field.
He didn't realize he was a mule.
Yeah, I have friends who are in the Marines, and they all put a lot of effort in,
even after the Marines staying in very good shape.
And what Kyle was saying about, what was his name, Holly Holm or whoever,
punching that big guy in the chest, that's got to be a little discouraging as a professional female fighter to for someone
to be like yeah like i know you're tough and everything but just give me a couple good wallops
just so i can get a fail for it's like oh i'm nobody's afraid of me at all here what like not
even a little do you have any small female marines I could see? Perhaps. You know? I don't know.
It was Kat Zingano.
You wouldn't want to be used as a prop, really.
One of Ronda Rousey's former targets.
I've got a video that speaks exactly to what Taylor was talking about. It's so awesome.
I'm loading. It's only 47 seconds long. This is the video.
Don't try this at home.
Oh, it's a good friend.
Yes, it is.
I'm all ready.
All right. Ready, set, play.
All right. So this is Lorenzo. He trains at my gym.
And we're talking about how he's got a little bit of body armor here.
So I'm going to try to blast through it with a hook I don't I I probably can't but
we'll see
Wow you get lower and more fucking hard it's just it's just it's just too much math it is he okay? He's gonna be okay after this yeah
I
Cannot imagine that
Somebody else like let me try dude that guy's a monster right now if there is a thing at the time
I would have never said it if this video was more recent but his
right wrist hurt a little so those were all lifts but yeah still even with his lefts i couldn't take
all that and and also he could have hit him in the liver people i think someone even shouted like
hit him in the liver i think that's my boston accent but he was too kind to do that but still
he was rocking that guy.
Man, like how do you even – what was that guy doing?
Just like tensing up his entire barrel of a body?
Like I always assumed if you had that much fat on you that like – I don't know.
Maybe – I don't know because my grandpa's got that kind of like fat farmer body, you know, where like it's not jiggly at all.
It's just solid.
Is that what corn-fed means?
That's what I picture with corn.
I don't know what corn-fed really means.
Fat people from the Midwest is what it means who work hard.
Yeah, corn-fed means, like, big Midwestern. Like a strong kind of could lose some body fat, but strong.
Yeah, that's what corn-fed means.
It means you're strong and that you're also fat and that you're eating too much uh probably too much corn and there's a lot of
strong fatties around here not like uh i don't like the the delusion that people have of like
i'm really really fat so i'm really really strong and it's like yeah that's not true you're really
really fat and you sit in front of a computer nine hours a day.
That guy's really, really frat, and he throws bales of hay all day.
Do you know how much he is eating?
Not only to fuel what's happening with the hay bale, but to maintain the fat on top of it.
Like, my grandma made my grandpa a 6,000-calorie breakfast this morning to get this going.
Start that engine up.
Which is just ridiculous.
It's a lot of biscuits and gravy to make this whole operation work.
It's so much.
It's an engine to start it.
Yeah, you need, like, a whole day's worth of calories just to get it churning.
Yeah, that's always funny to me, though.
Oh, I'm really fat.
And so, like, it's the same vein of, like, I get really mad. And so I'm like, I'm really mad. I'm really fat, and so it's the same vein of I get really mad.
And so I'm like, I'm really mad, and I'm really fat, and so I'm strong and tactical.
You know?
I haven't seen it in a while, but in my younger days, there'd be guys who wore these ridiculous weightlifting pants.
Oh, my God.
They looked like pajama bottoms, really.
And they usually had a stupid pattern, like pink camouflage or something like that and they would fancy themselves as like
gym goers you know but they're fat and they're totally unimpressive to look at but you know
they go to the gym at least sometimes because they're wearing the outfit to like parties and
dinners and things like that and and that used to fright it it's like no dude there you seem to think you have an
impressive body and you don't you don't at all that is a you lack discipline i don't care what
you're doing in the gym but you're not doing it right just like wearing like a ymca hat around
like you know you're not tricking me to think that you're going like you're not doing any swimming
it's like i don't know it's the same mentality. Like, have you ever seen two nine-year-olds or when you were nine talking to your buddy?
And you're like, you know, if we got in a fight right now, I would go, and I'd get you right under the jaw.
And he'd go, not really.
I would go, I would go, oh.
And then I'd go, well, if you tried that, I would counteract.
And I'd go push to the side and then kick to the shit.
It's like, no, you wouldn't. You're nine. You start slapping each other, and you'd fall over.
I know a guy who was – they were doing that exact same thing except they were like 16 or 17 at the time.
And the situation was that it was the time when the guy wanted to fight me and Scott for completely different reasons.
and Scott for completely different reasons.
Me and Scott each had completely separate beefs with this guy,
and he decided he wanted both beefs settled simultaneously and told me so at lunch.
And I was like, are you sure?
And he's like, yeah.
Yeah, tell him.
And I'm like, I'm going to call him, like, now.
He's like, do it.
And I'm like, all right.
So, like, he had been messing with Scott's girlfriend at her place of work,
and I had had some other thing that was probably on me, let's be honest.
But regardless.
Is Scott a large guy?
I don't remember.
He's as tall as me, but he's a lot stronger, I would say.
Scott's as tall as me, and he's 200 pounds.
I don't really know.
Let's go for someone who has no idea what that means.
So we were like, yeah.
I was like, okay.
And he's like, well, meet me at the grocery store he works at at 9.
That's when I get off work.
And so I tell Scott this, and he's like, well, no, fuck that.
If he's there now, let's go get him now.
And I was like, yeah, that makes sense.
Why don't we show up when he wants us to?
Let's just go fucking now.
So we went right then at like 445 in the
afternoon and he's taking some old ladies groceries out so we wait till
he's put the groceries in her car and she's closed the trunk and she's out of
the picture that makes you seem like the bad guy first I fucked with him it was
probably my fault and then we decided to double team him.
We waited until he finished his good deed.
So we show up at the autistic center he volunteers at, right?
We sit out in the parking lot.
He's the driving force behind all of this.
He is the one initiating all of this.
We're not instigating this.
He totally is.
This is on him.
And so he does his job
taking groceries out.
And so we pull up next to him
and start threatening him a bit, as you do.
And basically finding
out, do we need to fight right now
or are you going to just drop this
and just
cower away? Are you going to cower
or are you going to fight? That was sort of the
situation. And once he decided to cower scott spat on him so got that done and so we left and scott
and i went our separate ways and he went with his girlfriend somewhere and i i had a buddy and he
and i were out doing something and then we we both get like phone calls like no no no you're not done
yet he's decided that you showed up at the wrong time, first of all.
You came way too early for your appointment.
I smell an ambush.
Right?
Like, that didn't count.
He wants you there at 9.
And so we're like, ah, okay.
Well, we'll be there at 9 then.
So dad has Scott in his truck, and they're on one end of this establishment
and I and my buddy are on the other end of this establishment
and it's dark now and we're watching
and we're there for a while.
We've been sitting there for a while
watching this shit go down
and there's a crowd of them out there.
This is maniacal.
This is a fight.
This isn't like they want to argue.
They want combat.
And you can't kind of back down from that.
Oh, is this guy going to bring his own posse?
Yes.
He's already described that. There's a gang of them.
Yeah.
And they're all going to fight. Okay.
They've assembled, and they're out there, and we can see their silhouettes,
and they're doing karate moves and stuff.
They're showing off their kicks and their punches and stuff and
like really figuring out how this is going to go down and so we pull up into the parking lot and
really before anybody can do anything um dad says um something to the nature of we're here for that
one um the rest of you need to get the fuck out of here unless you want to deal with me
but uh these boys are are here to fight uh and so everybody just kind of said well all right then
and they just put their hands and then there was because they're 17 you know it's the and and so
there is left this gentleman who who is like this, and he immediately, it's like that scene from Snatch where he's like, and he's still shrieking like a little cock or whatever he is, and his two little mitzy faggot bowls.
He's immediately terrified, and Scott starts running at him right away.
And the rest of us are just kind of in awe at this.
It's on.
There's no talking or pushing or shoving.
That's not what we're here for
and it's clear to everybody except for the guy who thought he wanted to fight and so he starts
running and scott is chasing him around and around the parking lot around and assemble 25 people who
are there in like cars and trying to watch the fucking show or compete in it after about the third lap the other guy is just tuckered
he is fucking worn out and scott is too to be fair scott wasn't in running condition but the
other guy definitely wasn't and so they're and of course every time scott would get close enough he
punched this guy in the back of the head like it was just glancing blows just just kicking him in
the ass as you chase him and the guy finally stops and he's just like, Jesus, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry!
And Dad's like, no, that ain't good enough!
Get out here in front of your little friends and apologize!
And long story short, he made him get out there
in front of all of his friends and get on his knees
and apologize for all of this.
And it was a real interesting night.
But he got out okay if all it took was a few ass kicks
and a glancing couple of blows to the back of the head.
What's worse, though?
Because really, to me, it's about the trauma that you live with
as to who you really are at the end of these things.
Which outcome would he rerun in his head again and again?
Where he sort of bravely stood up, got his shots in, but faced a superior opponent? these things you know which outcome would he rerun in his head again and again where he like
sort of bravely stood up got his shots in but faced a superior opponent or where he ran around
and then begged to get out of that's a very that's a very true point probably should have took that
ass whooping there's a few you should take um did it impact you at all kyle because i like my first
one of my thoughts is like because i know if that would have happened at my school or anything, and if anybody brought their dad along, it would have been like,
oh, fucking pussy-ass bitch Kyle can't even fight his own battles.
Is your dad going to come to school on Monday?
Is he going to be in class with us?
That's what I imagine.
See, that was the thing, though.
He had assembled a squad, and they weren't all children.
There were a couple of older gentlemen and and it was
there's it's me and scott and uh and so there was no backup and and so yeah he totally he totally
went up there and and dad wasn't getting involved with basically all he said was he was like look
we're not going to have a thing where all of you jump on either of these boys like if there's
gonna be a fight it's in between this one and this one or or whoever wants to fight uh or because if people start deciding that others are gonna fight for them
then then i'm gonna start fighting and it was more one of those things but no one of those
things like in always sunny where they're like well who do we call in well i don't know guys
we don't have a very deep bench here he was well part of it the reason he got involved or how he
got involved is like like scott were
like over scott and i are over there discussing this whole thing and dad's like what's going on
and i tell him he's like oh you don't want to go up there they don't go up there i've seen this go
down before like like you get hurt up there like oh i don't think so we know this guy's like well
how many of them are there well we don't really know and sure enough like honestly when we got
there there was there was at least seven of them out there practicing their kata and another 15 more who
who you never know could have run in like the kill bill movies where you think that you're done and
then 17 more totally inept idiots run over the 88 88 dude i love those fucking movies i know i don't
think woody likes the kill bill movies
but but those are some of my favorite uh favorite ones i love the soundtrack to that uh it's so
badass when lucy lu and her whole posse are like walking into the uh the the club or whatever and
and the music's playing it's great i fucking love that shit that's like one of the only movies
where because i also like
the kill bill series uh maybe not as much as you but like when there's so when the 88 thing is
happening and there's like rivers of blood just everywhere like it's one of those scenes where
even i in the middle of it i'm like all right well maybe like let's tamp it down a bit like
there's no way that these 88 japanese gentlemen have the amount of blood that you're spraying about.
I like Kill Bill,
but I like it on the level of Iron Man 3.
Did I
enjoy my time? Yes.
Is it something that I think about again for decades
and like, oh, what an experience that was?
Not for me. I haven't seen Iron Man 3.
I saw Iron Man 1
and it was pretty good.
I didn't like Iron Man 1
when he made the first iron
suit out of like an old
Chevy Cavalier in like a cave
in Afghanistan. I think that's the
lore. That's what it's called, right?
The lore? Like I think that's...
I don't know.
I never read any Iron Man comics and I never
watched the cartoons for that either, like the
Genesis part. Iron Man 3 was garbage. I do like Iron Man. Iron Man comics, and I never watched the cartoons for that either, like the Genesis part.
Iron Man 3 was garbage.
I do like Iron Man. Iron Man 1 and 2 are pretty good movies, especially 1 because you've got – it's the beginning of the whole Marvel universe.
But Iron Man 3 where you've got the fake Mandarin, first of all, that whole misdirect.
misdirect then you've got tony stark one of the richest men on the planet is resorting to go into like a hardware store and making his own like taser to take down a bunch of like special op guys
like like wouldn't it be easier to call the police or the or the federal government or like it hire
your own team of assassins or like special ops guys order a taser off amazon or order a taser
off amazon like like any they had that little kid involved.
It seems like he has same-day delivery.
He's in LA.
He's got PTSD, which is annoying.
He's absolutely got Prime.
And then at the end, he blows...
It's got fucking Pepper Potts.
All of a sudden, she's got superpowers,
and they left that thread dangling so much
that they can't even have her back in the movies now.
Then he blows up all of his suits at the end,
but then the next Avengers movie, of course,
he's got new suits.
That was fucking garbage.
Kill Bill, on the other hand, is a fucking masterpiece.
David Carradine's greatest film, one of Uma Thurman's greatest.
You've got Vivica A. Fox, everybody involved with the special effects coordination.
They all got in like peak physical condition i love to listen to vivica a fox talk about like um like making her ass look a certain way for that movie because there's this knife
fight she has in the kitchen and she's wearing these tight ass pants and her ass is just
incredible incredible and she's like yeah that's like eight months of working out and the idea is
you hit a peak right when you need to film she's, my ass only looked like that for two, maybe three weeks.
We got it on film
and then right back downhill.
I forget who it was.
There was someone in a recent film
and she's a blonde girl.
She's really cute.
The sort of one everyone wants to marry.
Do you know what her name is?
She just had a baby.
She played, I think,
she was maybe a Lifeguard in it.
She might have also been in Frozen and played the second best singer.
I can't remember her name.
I haven't seen Frozen.
But it looks like Kristen Bell is in it.
I think it's her.
I think it's Kristen Bell.
And she was talking about the big sacrifice.
She was talking about, she compared herself, jokingly,
to Christian Bale's transformation in The Machinist.
And basically, she had just had a baby, got back into rocking shape,
and then didn't pump or breastfeed for two days.
So she was all engorged.
And she's like, those giant knockers.
That was my Christian Bale moment when I made that sacrifice.
She's like, they were tender.
So it was funny.
Yeah, I really definitely like
the Kill Bill movies a lot.
Especially Uma Thurman.
She's not in a ton of stuff,
but I really, really like...
I'm really attracted to Uma Thurman.
He seemed flat out in love with Uma Thurman.
He is.
Oh yeah, he's obsessed with Uma Thurman. He is. Oh, yeah. He's obsessed with Uma Thurman.
She's like his muse.
He's been putting her in all of his movies forever.
He has a huge foot fetish.
And I don't know if you paid attention in Kill Bill, but Uma Thurman has some big old stompers.
Does she really?
Yeah, real big.
I don't know, like a men's size 9 or something like that.
And they're not unattractive.
They're not like weird snaggletoes like I've got going on.
They're pretty women's feet.
And that doesn't do it for me.
I don't remember what comedian was talking about
liking to get jerked off with feet.
Maybe Dave Chappelle.
Dave Chappelle, yeah.
I was going to bring him up.
Sorry to interrupt your flow.
I couldn't tell if that was true or not. I really want to know.
Like, so basically a friend came out, I think, and said that he was gay.
And he's like, oh, yeah, you know, like everybody's into their own thing.
I like feet. And they're like, what? He's like, yeah, you put your feet together.
That little hole in the middle. I like to fuck right there.
And the way he said it, I'm like, I think he's telling the truth.
But yeah, he does a whole thing yeah
yeah yeah but but yeah that that's not my thing at all yeah um i i don't i'm not into that but
but he clearly is not only from like tarantino sort of sort of yeah tarantino they're not only
because like it's kind of a known thing but also like just watch his movies there's a lot go back
to pulp fiction the when travolta's picking Uma Thurman up for their date,
and as soon as she's ready, she does this thing where she curls her toes under with this red toenail polish,
and she's like, ah, ready. And she's constantly got these close-ups of feet and sort of sensual positions and stuff.
But if I watch it again, I would notice that more.
I want to know if Chappelle's really in the feet.
I want to know that.
I notice women's feet the same way I notice women's hands.
As in, like, unless there's something, like, wrong.
Like, missing toes or missing fingers.
Or they're just, like, teeny tiny or gigantic.
Like, I don't really notice.
One regular hand, one Trump hand.
Like, as long as it's a normal looking, looking like just somewhere in the mean of hands and feet
for women i don't i don't know i've never noticed that shit on women i'm never like oh those are
some nice ass feet like it's just always like i've dated chicks who were like really tiny um a girl
that was like five one or something like that she had really tiny hands it's like jesus my cock looks
enormous when you hold it so so like that that a benefit. I've known other chicks who had big old hands.
I'm like, ah, God.
Could you turn it to the side
or something? That's a bad angle.
But even then, you don't really care or
notice a girl's hand size.
Yeah, you do. The cameraman's right there.
Everybody's looking.
Gotta get that wide angle lens
so that everything in the foreground is huge.
Not that I'd know anything.
Wide angle. Oh, I was thinking about a fitness update.
We should do it as a lightning round.
I feel like sometimes it goes 20 minutes.
I'll go first.
I've lost one pound so far this week.
It'll probably just be one.
So I'm at 205 now, notable, down 15 pounds total.
And I don't know, starting to feel good about myself.
We were even hating on fat people earlier in the show and I'm like yeah
then yeah those guys how did they do that but they have 15 I never missed a
workout so far that's awesome I haven't been why I'm away myself like a week or
so but I feel good I'm gonna run it is your experiment though right is that
where you know no No? No.
I'm definitely still working out probably three, four times a week,
something like that.
I use my kettlebells and a lot of cardio.
Yep.
I've been sticking to the workout.
Been doing real good.
Haven't missed one yet.
Diet, I'm doing all right.
I'm getting better with that again because I kind of, like,
had been letting myself cheat too much on the weekends. You stopped telling telling everyone your weight no i'm at 20 uh i'm at 205
now so i've lost like i've really in the last like month like slowed down a lot but it's weird
because in the last month i've also noticed the biggest bulk of change in like definition and like
musculature and so i don't i don't know i i know I'm trending on the right path as far as looking better and
being bigger and uh in the right areas and getting smaller in the the belly and and uh
love handle area which is pretty much gone at this point like I can wear all my shirts I don't
have to worry about that anymore it's just I still hate I just hate my fucking belly and I got I got
thigh fat that I want to get taken care of. I'm wearing my skinnier jeans, though.
Like, I'm into those comfortably.
Yeah.
And so it's, like, it's hard for me.
Like, I keep thinking, like, oh, man, I'm not getting any progress on my thighs.
And then, like, I switch into my skinny, like, my skinny jeans, like, 32-32 is what I wear, like, 32 waist.
And they're fitting me right now.
I'm wearing them.
They fit great.
Nice.
But over, I almost, I had a,
if it wasn't for accountability with people,
I may have dropped off and had a failure yesterday
because I got home from work,
and I was just exhausted,
and I was like, I had my two options for drinks.
I had my shaker bottle with my pre-workout in there
that I drank like half an hour before.
And I also had a beer.
And I was like,
if I drink this beer,
I'm going to have it with dinner.
I'm going to go,
ah, miss one, no biggie, whatever.
You know, I'll just sit back and relax
and do nothing.
I'll grab another beer.
You know, have another drink.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Yeah, drink another sandwich.
In for a penny, in for a literal pound.
And like right in the middle of it, because i sat there and i and i knew
because i'd already like opened the beer as well and i just had like this thing sitting in the
in the fridge i was like well it's gonna get warm and nasty if i don't drink it and then i thought
in my head i'm like that's a fat person excuse and so i uh i grabbed it dumped it out grabbed this guzzled it down and worked out and afterward
i felt so much better because i knew all it takes is like one beer or two beers or a handful of
cheese it's for me to totally go with the in for a penny in for a pound thing and be like i'm just
i'm just gonna eat i'm just gonna i have burgers in my fridge that i could have made and i and i guarantee i would have like later that night been like uh angus burgers i guess like frozen patties
or yeah frozen patties they're like really high quality frozen patties i don't know what a bubba
burger is well then you you uh well you don't have the good ones then i i've got i i ordered
some of the the bubba burgers are the best the bubba burgers are the best uh but i've got the
ones uh i ordered some frozen ones online.
What's the place that sells meats?
They're the most famous online meat.
Oh, Forshead?
No, fuck it.
But I ordered a bunch of frozen ones recently.
I've done that with...
Bubba's great, though.
With tenderloin, too.
Like beef tenderloin,
where you just order an enormous box,
and you get six pounds in there,
and they come in four-ounce containers, and you just cut them open, throw them in the pan. Do you get like six pounds in there and they come in like four ounce containers then you just cut them open throw them in the pan now no okay oh no no my my
uh i'm still carrying too much weight for a six pack okay definitely yeah me too yeah i i'd need
to lose like probably 40 more pounds yeah yeah i mean that's thin for us yeah that that that's pretty extreme
to get to a six pack like i'm at 170 low pounds like like probably a hundred it's it's at over
six feet i'm not getting close to that like if i if i really lean back and flex i'm like oh yeah
well there they are but but like like having one like you got to have low percentage of body fat
and you know you've actually got to have like muscles there those things got to be defined that's right and then your skin's got to be
taught it was more like a four pack but but yeah in my 30s i had a distinct like any it was
undeniable right it was like oh there's there's woody's abs um i don't know if i can get that far
maybe seven years ago with like the four pack of like good like v shape you know body with the
yeah and all that i don't know if i had them i really like that line like the v that like
sticks out from your underwear i don't know if i had that but i was in pretty good shape i'm not
sure how like if i just keep doing what i'm doing how far does that get me i'm not even sure i'm
making progress every week still oh here's the thing that happened today. I was, I came out of the shower. I think I saw my chest and it was like, that is a much
more flattering profile. Those are transforming from boobs into pecs. Yes. And that was a,
it was a little piece of encouragement for me today. That's a good stand to the side and look
thing when you're like, all right, my arm's taken up quite a bit of the room in the silhouette. And the chest is sticking out further than the belly.
And, you know, well, that's about all you notice.
Sideway silhouette.
Or back.
I'm, like, getting great forearm gains.
Are you?
I don't know what exactly exercise is doing that.
Kettlebells.
I think it's probably just the fact that you're lifting
and like balancing shit and doing whatever but do the like that's overhead halo things
yeah yeah i do think that involve your form is a ton it definitely does because like i did that
for like the first month of working out and i think i did it like totally wrong and then i like
watched a youtube video and it was saying like you need to keep this thing like so close to your head
that it almost feels like you're doing it wrong,
and your elbows together and all that.
And once I started keeping it real close to my head,
you could tell how tense it was making your forearms on the front
and then on the back, the other side of your arms.
But I don't know. I'm really loving it.
I'm glad we're all sticking to it.
I'm glad Kyle's off the 6,000-calorie-a-day thing,
and he's slimming up getting six pack before any of us
because you're just... It won't take
much. I
just have to take a lot of cardio.
I almost bought a rowing machine the
other day. I was asking Chiz
because he had one for a little while.
Those things look fun and I
feel like, I don't know,
you're in that position where I can get the screen
right in front of me. That's what i really like about my uh my elliptical is i take my wireless keyboard
and fucking glue that bitch on there with some double-sided velcro shit i got my keyboard on
my elliptical and i could fucking get my i can i can watch my youtube videos and watch a little
player at the same time it's very, I take my hands off the thing.
Right, right.
But I mean, I'd make it non-elliptical.
Like, let's say I had a stationary bike.
I'm not sure I'd be able to type at the same time.
Well, not everyone can perform at these peak levels, Woody.
This isn't a day one workout thing
where you just have your keyboard with Velcro double-sided tape.
No, this is a life of effort.
A lifeline pass.
It's easier to do. It's not that it's an easy workout. It's just do find kettlebells easier to do.
It's not that it's an easy workout.
It's just that there's very little barrier to entry.
I just walk over to my southern sunroom.
The kettlebells are laid out there.
I have my computer there already because I've got a routine off the web.
I listen to a podcast.
I don't know.
If I work out for 40 minutes, the whole process takes like 42 minutes.
Whereas if you make that hockey, for example, usually there's an hour on either side of it.
Yeah, it's a whole evening of commitment where you're like, well, I got to get to the rink.
I got to get dressed.
We'll play.
I got to get undressed.
Got to go home.
Got to shower before I talk to anyone or they won't want to hang out with me because that smell is –
The easiest workouts for me – because I would never work out and then not shower
Like I can't do that that that's that's crazy talk
I would have liked you in high school because I hated everybody who worked out
It's not a workout in gym class
But everybody who would play a game get sweaty and then just waltz back into the locker room and throw the clothes on it's like
You're you're a disgusting monster. You guys you're to go sit next to all the girls in our grade right
as a kid i don't care like you're just disgusting this is 16 or 17 i'm saying still as a 16 17 year
old disgusting we didn't have showers available to us at that time so i i i know that my yeah
it wasn't a thing nobody showered after after a gym that was just taking gym.
Nobody did.
So everybody was sweaty, and you knew.
You saw that guy in shorts in literature, and you're like, yeah, he just played volleyball.
He didn't care.
But how did all this fucking start?
Talking about showering at gym?
Talking about –
Yeah, there's no way I would ever work out at this point in my life or really ever and not, you know, take a shower without going about my day.
So usually what I do is as soon as I wake up, I'll try to get in some kind of a workout.
It won't be an hour of like multiple sets and workouts and stuff, but it could, you know, 20 minutes of something.
Like I might do 30 or 40 push-ups in like two or three sets and then do some squats and do some chin-ups
and get my heart rate going really good
and then get in the shower,
and my day always starts so much better.
If I get in the shower and I'm already breathing hard,
I'm like,
all right, we're working hard before we even get fucking started.
The more I talk to people about gyms
and their experience in high school
the more i am starting to believe that it is not the norm to be naked in front of your gym coach
every single place yeah because if my gym coach saw me naked and myself and all the other gentlemen
showering after we played fucking handball or whatever but everybody was competitive with all
the games and so you got sweaty.
But yeah, thinking back on that,
that was fucking weird. Why was he standing
there? Well, it wasn't so much that he was
worthy of standing there, but the charts
of penis size that he always kept so well
documented, those disturbed me a little.
Right. Yeah, we had, well, I mean, it just
fosters friendly rivalries. And could he not
have just written down notes where the picture is totally
required? I don't know.
He said he wanted to document this for science or something like that.
Well, we had other topics lined up to talk about.
I wanted to talk a little bit.
Well, I figured Kyle would care more than me about it.
But Daniel Day-Lewis retiring from acting.
There's no way that can be true.
He'll come back.
Yeah, totally.
No, he's weird like that. I really way that can be true he'll come totally no he's he's weird like that i
i i really do believe that he would he would quit if he says he's gonna quit he's probably
fucking done forever um the movie he's got it coming out this year i remember reading about it
and like thinking i wouldn't like it like i i do think he's the the greatest actor there's the
that i can think of but i don't like all of his movies and And I don't think I'm going to like this newest one coming out.
I can't think of what it is off the top of my head,
but it's like a period piece about something they don't care about.
I don't know.
It's one of those things you hear a description,
and you're like, wow, I will not only relate to that, not at all,
it doesn't even sound interesting.
It's like, oh, yeah, this is about a 17th century gay composer
and the struggles he went through.
He wrote this beautiful sonata
about his love for the
baker's boy
and the baker's boy was found out
and castrated and made to be
into a monk and you're like
well that's a crazy fucking story but
I don't want to watch it
it's like I bet the sisterhood of the traveling pants
had a couple interesting scenes but no thanks
I'm looking at this...
The way you described it is hilariously accurate
to the way that I would read a description of these movies
where you're like, well, this seems like an interesting tale,
but not actually interesting for someone.
It just doesn't interest me.
It's called Phantom Thread.
It says, Phantom Thread is an upcoming American drama film
set in London's fashion world in the 50s.
And so it's like... I mean, i'm sure they did some pretty accurate stuff there but like i don't and why go out on a note like this like oh man you just did you were you were abraham fucking
lincoln last time and now you're a fashionista was lincoln good i i really like lincoln taylor
thought it went on too long um there what there's not a lot of... It's about Lincoln.
It's not so much about the Civil War
or about anything else that goes around it.
All that stuff is happening.
And his main thing is to abolish slavery
and like, get those votes!
And he's got a couple of really powerful scenes.
And one of the things about,
not only about Abraham Lincoln, apparently,
is he was a storyteller
and kind of just went
on and on and pontificated in public and he enjoyed having a crowd of people gathered and he
just tell these tales and and allegories and stuff and so daniel dade lewis does that in the movie
there's even a scene where one of the characters a character in the movie said his lines are
oh god is he gonna if he tells one more story, and he just storms out of
the room, and Lincoln just kind of grins and continues on with his story.
But I like Daniel Day-Lewis a lot, and I found the historical stuff really interesting.
It's definitely worth a watch.
But then they butcher, like you said, they butcher the political process, and all of
that political intrigue, that shit didn't go down, that's not how it went down so it's a little frustrating in that regard i've been trying i've been looking for a
new show lately and i remember we talked about john adams a while back with paul giamatti and
so i was like ah hbo made this thing it's a six-part or mini series about the revolutionary
war about john adams gotta be killer right so i i press play on this motherfucker and it starts off as a beautifully composed and it starts off first thing that happens is this very pretty attractive like 28 year old
woman gets diagnosed with revolutionary war era breast cancer it's a tumor of the breast and he's oh heavens what must be done i know of no cure but the knife
we must not delay and it's like oh shit and like like they don't even cut away to like a pastoral
like cut scene to let you know like an evening past they don't let you you're not even introduced
to any characters you meet the doctor
the pretty girl john adams is her dad clearly and her and the wife there's like 10 words spoken and
then her titties out and they're about to start cutting it off as she's crying and i was like
fuck this i was in the mood for some happiness if anything anything, I wanted some Patriot-style Revolutionary War action.
I wanted Mel Gibson coming out
of the fucking woods, knife in one
hand, tomahawk in the other,
cutting redcoats down,
cutting their eyes and tongues out, sending them down
the river for the rest of fine, hardcore
shit. Instead, I got tears and
breast cancer. That's some real life
shit. You gotta storm through.
Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Nah. That was
too much. I won't start on that fucking note.
So I switched to Six Feet Under,
a show about Dexter being the gayest
man in LA
while running a
funeral home. And I like
it, although it's like,
man, you're really hitting me hard with the
gay stuff. It's
a central theme and i'm
not a homophobe there's just a lot of gay stuff uh like on a lot of he gets caught butt fucking
this guy in a parking lot at one point dexter does and he's like all right fellas zip it up
and it's just like ah god damn you have to butt fuck him in the parking lot and they portray gay
people like that in shows like i feel like if i was next to, like, a gay friend of mine, they'd be like, man, I'm gay, and this guy's real, real fucking gay.
Like, I don't know any gay people like that.
It's not like that.
Like, they really delve into gay culture, and it's 2001.
So, like, I mean, I'm watching, and I'm like, yeah, I know what all this stuff means because, you know, it's 2017 now, right?
But in 2001, it must have been crazy fucking edgy because, like, all the characters are, like, doing meth and butt fucking each other.
And he's, like, calling up the gay sex line.
He's like, yeah, I'm 6'1", 180 pounds, professional boxer.
The guy's like, oh, yeah, how big's your cock?
He's like, nine and a half inches cut.
He's just, like, having this dirty conversation while he jerks off.
And there's, like, 2001-era gay porn on his, like, bubble screen computer with pop-ups flashing everywhere.
And it was just such, like, a flashback, not to all the gay themes, but the way porn used to be.
Yeah, yeah, the way porn used to be.
So I'm, like, two or three seasons into that.
It's pretty good you made it two or three seasons into that but you didn't make it 10
minutes into the paul giamatti show with michael c clark or whatever his name is dexter butt
fucking guys for three four seasons but like that teary-eyed breast cancer shit is just way too real
and whenever i see an it's a period piece where they have like a cancer or like even worse if it's something that like we understand really well today like diabetes
and they're unable to treat it or they treat it with ignorance it's just like this really
frustrating moment for modern day me i can't take myself out of that moment and just be a
casual observer i'm like no you fools just you have to excise the wound wash your hands man have you ever seen the nick
no it's got clive owen in it and it is exactly what you're describing it's like very very turn
of the century early 1900s and he's a surgeon and it goes through his process of like being a
surgeon he's like a surgeon slash opium addict which i guess like fucking everybody was an opium addict back then apparently if this show is accurate it could
be but yeah he and like the stuff that they show them doing medically is it's it's the most intense
gore i've ever seen in a tv show and it's like just cutting people's arms off trying to figure
shit and it's not at all dr house like like dr house
will come in and be like it's lupus and they're like yeah it's not lupus and he's like ah one of
these fucking days one of these days but like but then like house eventually will come back and be
like all right dude you take 60 milligrams of clonazepam twice daily for the next six months
you have a super rare brain worm and they're like oh you figured it out like thank god and then
they survived taken they were super the brain worms up they they actually got the stats
of how many people survive in surgeries and shit in this show right as far as i can tell because
they'll be like all right you know it's a brand new surgery doctor like you have to be able to
to clamp this vein or whatever because they didn't know how to clamp arteries and shit so they're
trying to figure out basic shit and so like they have somebody come in for what today would be
like an in-and-out thing, and they're trying
to dig under flesh,
shaky, trying to grab onto arteries.
And then the guy will just bleed out, and he'll be dead.
And everybody in the theater is like, oh, well,
no.
So my medical knowledge is pretty lax.
And so I wonder about this.
I always see them clamping off those arteries
when they fucking clip one or a bullet wound or whatever.
And I understand that, of course. I get it.
But my question is, at what point do you unclamp it, and then what happens?
It's an artery, right? Do you have to repair it somehow before it can carry blood safely?
Don't you have to sew it back?
Yeah, we can sew it back together while it's still clamped.
But then isn't it like spilling blood here in my thigh
when all that blood's meant to be going down to my toes?
No, no, no.
What it's saying is if you get that cut,
that they might have to crimp the one here
and then go into my arm and pull the other one out
and then sew them together.
And then once they're sewed together,
remove the clamp and let the blood go through again.
So that kind of micro-surgery
would have been way
out of the skills of
someone in the past.
It's my understanding that people who do that vascular surgery
are the top of the heap in terms of
dexterity. Oh, Jesus Christ, you're fucked.
You're fucked in those days if you get hurt.
You see him all the time getting blasted
with his musket.
Like the hero.
Like Mel Gibson will take two or three and he's like,
ah, put some gunpowder in it.
Yeah, there's stuff like that in the Nick where you watch.
Like if that pet peeves you, Kyle,
like watching incorrect medical stuff happening,
then this show will infuriate you.
Because so much of it is doctors being like,
the only way we're gonna fix the fucking cholera is if we in inject large amounts of mercury directly into
the heart and people will be like it's worked on you know for people in in East
Asia we have to give it a shot you're like all right here goes on the table
like maybe I'm the guy oh fuck it's like, oh, fuck.
Dude, we were talking about sewing veins back together.
I have real life experience with this.
It's not a vein, but a tendon. Colin chopped the
tendon on his foot. This is like two years ago.
And we take him to the emergency room
and the doctor puts a clamp on the tendon
so that he's like, he wants to be 100%
sure that that's indeed what's cut.
And then he takes the clamp and he's like,
look, this is where his toe
is cut i can make his toe go and he's working colin's toes like a marionette you know as as
the different toes are like squeezing and moving and stuff and it's like yeah that one and that
one gonna need some fixing aren't they and um and they fixed him now i i forget about it and every
so often i see him barefoot and and it's like, oh, right.
You've got, like, a legit axe wound
on the top of your foot.
It's a four-inch long, hardcore scar.
It's otherwise fine. It's not like
it's not foot-shaped or anything.
He just has a scar.
Even in the next day, they would have given it
maybe a minute
before they were like, well, you know,
the last guy who came in,
got a half quart of mercury injected into his stomach and it did not pan
out.
And so you're just going to be eight toad Colin.
How's that sound?
You know,
I was like,
what is the,
like,
what is life like if this doesn't work out right?
And he's like,
ah,
you know,
mostly okay since he's got the big toe for balance.
But when he puts a shoe on his toes might like like, curl in ways they're not supposed to.
Yeah, they get jammed down at the bottom because you can't keep them straight.
Yeah.
It's like running and stuff can be hard.
I can do that with mine, but mine are weird.
I can, like, curl my toes and make a fist in my shoe.
I can do that.
Unless it's too weird somehow.
Ah, who knows.
Your toes are weird.
I will give you that.
But I think that aspect of them is normal.
I think I make a better toe fist than perhaps you can.
But that's just through practice.
Yeah, Kyle makes a pretty good toe...
That's a pretty solid toe fist.
If I punched you with that, you'd know it.
I bet Quentin Tarantino,
if he were gay, he would love you.
All over me.
I'd be in all of those fucking movies.
I guarantee it.
I'd just shoehorn you
from dawn till dawn.
I'd be in Bigfoot 1, 2, 3, 4.
He'd make a whole fucking series.
It'd be a trilogy about...
I wonder how Kyle's feet rank.
I feel like a foot fetish
is a kink, right?
Then there's the kinky foot fetishes
who like the flexible feet, the long
toed feet, the hairy toes.
Oh, yeah.
There's people who like everything, right?
Everything gets fetishized eventually.
I see all the time.
Not all the time, but I have seen.
The people who want when someone's had a hand or a leg amputated, they want the stump inserted into them.
There's this crazy porno I saw, and it's kind of like vintage.
It looks like it's kind of grainy.
But this woman comes into the room, and there's a man lying in bed naked.
And she's very pretty.
And then she reveals that one of her legs isn't real.
She fucking pops off her leg, and she hops on over there.
And he's delighted when he sees this.
And it's not too long.
No escape.
You didn't get to go in nowhere.
She breaks out a bit of lard and she begins lubricating her stump.
And it's not long before she is knee deep in the man's asshole.
Kyle, you just said five minutes ago you didn't want to watch past ten minutes
of John Adams because
of a fake medical scene and now you're describing
in great detail a woman lubing up
her ruined leg
and fucking a man in the ass with it. A very
gleeful man. And I don't think my butt
could accommodate a stump.
Well, this wasn't this gentleman's
first time at this club.
You have to work your way up. Yeah. a stump. Well, this wasn't this gentleman's first time in this club. I mean,
you know,
work your way up.
Yeah.
You know,
it's gradual progression.
I mean,
maybe I'm not setting my sights high enough.
I'm not sure I could ever get past the bad dragon phase in any of this.
If we're talking about shows that you were looking for,
I meant to say this earlier,
Kyle,
I started one recently called the path.
It's got,
uh,
Aaron Paul in it.
It's on Hulu.
Aaron Paul's the guy from
Jesse from Breaking Bad.
And it's about a cult.
And I find
stuff about cults really interesting.
Like The Master. I have.
The Master's a very interesting movie.
But it's kind of of that same vein.
Like a creepy, cultish
movement
of people who believe a bunch of wacko nonsense where at first,
you know, you think, hey, these people kind of just seem like they're living their life,
almost like the Amish, just kind of being weird when their own especially weird way.
And then you get more and more, you know, it protracts itself out and you realize,
oh, no, no, it's a cult. It's definitely a cult. But that stuff's interesting as shit.
I was looking at real cults last night trying to find find which ones are still present in the U.S.,
and we can talk more about all that on PK,
because I want to find more shit about cults,
if that is interesting to you guys at all.
I think it's super interesting.
Did you guys see the end of Better Call Saul?
Uh-uh, no.
You guys aren't watching Better Call Saul?
We absolutely are.
I just haven't seen the last episode.
Yeah, I haven't seen the last episode.
No spoilers. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to hear anything about are. I just haven't seen the last episode. Yeah, I haven't seen the last episode. No spoilers.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to hear anything about that.
So just, I won't spoil anything.
But here's what I'm going to say.
Sometimes I think to myself, what can I say that wouldn't be a spoiler?
You know what?
Let's not play with fire.
Not much.
Yeah, right?
Let's not play with fire.
Should I say I enjoyed it or didn't enjoy it?
You know what?
Any of those things could be giveaways.
So let's wait and
discuss it after you've seen it. That is a
surefire way not to spoil it for you.
Yes, because I will probably end up watching that
later on tonight. Okay.
Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to watch it
later tonight. So the Fargo last one's not
out yet. I can't wait for that.
That's tomorrow, I think. I watched
Veep and Silicon Valley,
but I feel like they each have one more episode.
No, Silicon Valley is the porn spree.
I was going to say, I would much rather watch Silicon Valley.
Yeah, now, because Silicon Valley...
Yeah, because like...
Transistors and computer chips.
Silicon is breast implants.
I did not even realize they were different materials.
Yep.
Think of how many transistors we'd be just wasting
in women's breasts.
Your computer would be all gooey.
They'd be bags of sand.
This is baffling me.
Are you positive they're different materials?
I'm positive.
There's an E on one and not the other.
Yeah, silicon.
S-I-L Well, yeah.
S-I-L-I-C-O-N-E.
How have I gone through my whole life?
I knew that there were two pronunciations, but I thought it was kind of
tomato-tomato.
You've never worked in an industry where anybody
said, like, silicon or... Yeah, it's not like
you've ever worked in the computer industry or anything, but
technology or... Even more so,
if he did work in it, I'm sure he was a low-level
guy. He probably didn't progress to, like, a super guy in the most in the world at the time i mean i wonder
who one of the leading manufacturers of silicon based products were around that time i'm probably
cisco i wonder how many times i've embarrassed myself in meetings and such. Like, yeah. They're all like, you know, like, I think I
say silicone or
silicon. I don't even know which one I would
have said. Like, it could very well be that I
presented in front of hundreds of
people talking about boobs and not knowing it.
God damn.
Did they ever do that in, like, boardrooms where they're like,
there was a meeting that you didn't have anything to do with,
but they'd be like, Woody, could you come in real quick?
We just need you to explain to
the prospective
marketing team
how computer chips work.
I don't know why me, but all right.
Keeping pile of silicone.
You can harvest it from anywhere.
Silicone Valley is definitely a porno.
Yeah, Silicon Valley really dropped off. harvest it from anywhere yes silicon valley was definitely a porno but yeah silicon valley you know what like all winter long i was kind of disappointed that there were no
shows to watch and then it turns out like the 10 weeks around may all the good stuff exists
and soon we'll be in july which has uh game of thrones yep yep i i have never watched uh
silicon valley but i have watched clips on YouTube of the Asian
character, like June something or another, whatever his name is.
And I find those fucking hilarious.
He's like, I really like the, he's got this TV interview he does.
He's like, oh yes, he very stupid man.
He bad investor.
And now he a poor.
Now I am very rich.
He's like, I give it away because I'm very rich. Yes Now I am very rich.
He's like, I give it away because I'm very rich.
Yes, I'm very rich.
Every character in Silicon Valley is awesome to watch.
You've probably seen the one where his name, T.J name TJ Miller threatens those kids to get Adderall.
Do you know this?
There's a programmer.
The programmer is being ineffective because he doesn't have his Adderall. So TJ Miller's
character, who's like a tough guy,
goes outside and shakes down
11-year-olds for their Adderall.
They're on their bicycles.
He's like, listen, motherfucker.
It's great.
So far, everything I've seen is around that Asian character, that Chinese character.
He comes up with this new app idea.
And they have the big meeting.
And all the investors are sitting there.
And he's like, my idea, eight different ways to prepare octopus.
And the guy's like, what?
They're like, do you mean it's like an app where you take a picture of the food and it tells you what it is?
And the white guy's like, yes, that's exactly what it is.
He's like, no, no, octopus recipe.
He's like, hey, I'm going to speak to him in Chinese now.
Hang on.
He goes, un pong kao hi po ho.
And he goes, that is not Chinese.
He's such a stickler for the pronunciations.
Chinese. He's such a stickler for the pronunciations.
He's got to completely railroad him
out of this meeting because he's got all these people in there for
his mother's eight best octopus
recipes for an app.
Dude, I'm going to spoil it a little bit,
but the way that storyline goes
is, of course, he convinces him
to change the app
Seafood to be about seeing food.
It's going to be like Pandora, but
the only thing it's good at
is recognizing whether something is or isn't a hot dog, right? So it's a binary outcome,
whether it's a hot dog or not a hot dog. TJ Miller at one point takes a picture of his dick.
It registers as a hot dog. They make like hundreds of millions off of it because Snapchat has a
dick pic problem. And with this technology, they can identify whether or because Snapchat has a dick pic problem and with this technology
they can identify whether or not something is a dick
and that's where he gets
off of it.
The writers
on it are very funny.
TJ Milligan, it's his last season.
Yeah, he's done. He's off the show.
Yeah, if he's done, I'm done.
I don't care.
I don't watch his show.
I heard that his comedy special sucked. Yeah, if he's done, I'm done. I don't care. I don't watch his show. I heard that his comedy special sucked.
Yeah, I tried watching some of his comedy,
like his stand-up on YouTube.
This was a couple years ago,
just trying to get a feel for him
because I thought he was funny
in the first couple seasons of the show.
And it just, I don't know, wasn't very good.
It seems like what I was reading,
I didn't see the latest special,
was they felt like
he did really well in the like context of a show he's super funny he kills his roles etc but to
just go up and do stand-up solo apparently not his cup of tea yeah so yeah definitely different
things i i want him to do well you know like i i like the guy so I hope that his career doesn't end with this leaving Silicon Valley.
Yep.
Maybe, if his career does go poorly, he'll end up on Silicon Valley.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Well, that's at least five years away.
We'll see.
PKN 149?
PKN 149.
Awesome.