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And we're live! Painkiller Nearly episode 150.
150.
Because this episode is divisible by 50, we're gonna do everything like we normally do.
Yep, that's what we're gonna do.
Alright.
That's a fuckton of episodes for a secondary podcast.
It's longer than most primary podcasts.
Yeah.
Yeah, most podcasts, or like there are so many out there that are like,
Oh, welcome to Joe's Funny Street, episode 60.
And it's like, oh, you're uploading these every 40 minutes, are you?
How are you cranking out this kind of content?
All day.
And then they do that thing where they post all of it on iTunes at the same time.
And then iTunes algorithm goes like, oh, we want to promote new shit, too.
And then they go, hey, look at my fucking podcast.
Number one on iTunes, six listeners over 60 episodes in the last 50 minutes. And it's like, oh, we want to promote new shit too. And then they go, hey, look at my fucking podcast. Number one on iTunes. Six listeners
over 60 episodes in the last 50 minutes.
And it's like, oh, wow.
I did not even know how to game the system like that.
I just make a video every week. That's all we do.
Anyway, we were talking right before about
traveling.
I know you guys obviously hate the TSA
as well because everyone does.
But it's like if I go more than three months or so without flying,
and somebody complains about the TSA to me,
I'll, like, with some sort of amnesia, be like, oh, it's not that bad.
Like, what are you talking about?
Like, you just go through.
Yeah, you get, like, fondled and stuff a little bit,
but you just get through and that's it.
No, and every time I go back through, I'm like, oh, yeah yep this is the caliber the caliber of employee i've come to expect i was in the line
at o'hare a notoriously rude airport in chicago this morning and you know how you're supposed to
wait when they scan your phone or your ticket or whatever your boarding pass as you're about to go
through all i did was walk there was no line by the way you know there's a floor line where they say don't cross the floor line till i
ask you hon like there wasn't one of those and so i just walked over and got behind a guy and she as
he was scanning it goes don't walk forward until i tell you to walk forward hon and i was like i
just want to be like well i'm here now and there's someone behind me.
And if you had not said that sentence, you could have finished the task of giving him that ticket back.
He could have taken one step and then you could have had my ticket there.
Actually, you lazy bitch, you don't even have to hold it.
I have it on my phone. I'll do it for you.
You can grimace at my license and pretend like I'm a terrorist and act like you're saving the world.
Like, holy shit. I just look around
at the TSA employees with so
much resentment as I look and I'm like,
I do this now every time. Count.
I'll be like, alright, there's 13
here.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7 are standing around
picking their ass and smelling it.
Like, that's the caliber of person.
And then there's two people standing there
by the regular metal detector,
because God forbid,
I tried to walk through that one on accident
instead of the cancer machine adjacent.
And so I was about to walk through that one,
and this lady, like, threw the other end.
Like, she's coming through the wardrobe of Narnia.
I was like, uh-uh, you're not coming through this one.
And then I had to walk back around
and get in line for the fucking micrometer wave machine.
Oh, it was just a bad experience.
I don't think you're, I just don't think
you're in tune enough with the process. I think you need to
fly a little bit more. At this point, it's just
like, you just fucking head down,
fucking, I got my tray full of my
shit, all my belongings, like, everything's
taken out of my pockets, like,
they're like, you got your belt off? And I'm like, oh,
yeah, I didn't bring one today. I knew this was
coming, sir. Please, please just let today. I knew this was coming, sir.
Please, please just let me through.
I know the bit.
It's a simple process, but it's so simple that they feel the need to be shitty to feel like they're getting something done is what I'm saying.
If they said nothing the entire time, the process would go just as smooth.
It goes smoother if they don't shut the fuck up and have this theory that like when something happens you know like oh yeah some guy brought a gun into la every tsa agent around the nation goes oh for the next two weeks i'm working at
half speed because fuck them i can get away with it and every line just starts going back and forth
zigzagging out the door around the hallways where the line doesn't even normally get to
i don't feel like i'm getting a higher level of security. They're not taking longer. It's just
fucking slow now. I don't know what the problem is.
That thing you're talking about was a strike, right? They did that on purpose.
I remember that was maybe three or four.
It was almost exactly that. Some guy in LA had a gun.
Turns out, so I was flying home from florida i think it was for minecon actually
and uh they went super slow i know one thing like that'll change like is like their procedures like
they'll i think they got some intelligence that uh that the terrorists were going to put bombs
in the care and like the handle of your your your like bag you know the part you hold no the part
of your bag you hold yeah the part that slides out and you hold in your hand bag you know the part you hold the part that slides out
and you hold in your hand when you're actually dragging your bag
and so like
they were like alright now we're gonna check
every single fucking handle and they were like
extend your handles
and they're like swabbing each one and then like
every eighth one gets disassembled
with a fucking screwdriver or some shit
and it was like okay we're not getting home
till tonight alright they're gonna look at everybody's fucking luggage handle and it it's not really
on them they're not prepared for that that's that's not their thing but it really should be
a private organization and it should vary from state like atlanta should have theirs
fucking baltimore should have it should definitely be private and they should be scored
on efficiency and and customer service they should have like a quick little survey at the end
where they're like, how was your experience with, you know,
McNally security or whatever the fuck?
And you'd be like, slow as shit.
And then whatever, you know, who did you have?
Steven.
And then Steven will get reprimanded.
You might be right.
I have in my head, 30 seconds, I'll get this out.
Capitalism is great for most stuff.
Capitalism fits almost everything.
It's the answer to most of our buying problems.
But there are a few areas where it doesn't.
People have heard me say this about medical stuff, right?
If you've got syphilis, you'll go crazy, you'll go insane,
you'll eventually die from it, it's a terminal disease, etc., etc.
Curing it is super simple. It's 50 cents
worth of penicillin and they can cure your syphilis, but you'll mortgage your house, you'll
sell your whatever, you'll go $150,000 in debt. If that's what it takes to stay alive, price is no
object because the other choice is death. So you can charge outrageous amounts for 50 cents worth
of penicillin. We've seen it with EpiP pens and the other thing i can't name they just jack up the prices because it's life or death and fuck you
security is privatizing security good you know you might not get what you want you might get
speed but what if it doesn't actually keep you secure what if people become prone it doesn't
keep you secure anyway like have you ever looked up the stats of like how often they're actually
stopping someone and how often people just sneak you
You've talked about it before of accidentally realizing like oh shit
I've got a orange knife in my in my bag and nobody said anything like the fact that you can do I like I was
So like a little not so pissed. I was just aggravated by it. I'm like I'm gonna start
I'm signing up for that TSA screening whatever so when you go through you don't yeah the pre-check you don't have to take your laptop out you don't take your shoes off right
and it's like wait so i can just go to this st louis office nowhere near the airport and then
do the same thing that happens that like when you buy a gun basically they run a quick little
background check and then then they just say all right forever and ever you're good to go it's like
okay so to do that How does that work?
I think you can do it online somewhere,
but there are places you have to...
I didn't do a ton of research.
I just saw there was a place, like an office,
that you could go and get it done.
But I'm sure there are online means as well.
But isn't having that a tacit admission
that they're not stopping people in the real one?
It means they pre-verified you, right?
It does.
If you're hilarious enough,
you can get a fine background check.
Like, if you're someone...
Like, if someone really wanted to bomb,
they'd be like,
Nadeem, you have never had a speeding ticket.
We need you over there immediately.
Sign up for the pre-check.
And they're like,
does that save you time?
Save you money.
More time in the duty-free shop.
Save you time. You'll be able to get and they do keep you short. Save your time.
You'll be able to get to your terrorist bombings much more easily now.
I like that better.
If he wasn't even planning to blow up a plane, he just needed to be on time to all these cities.
I do worry, though, as far as privatizing security.
You might not get security.
You might get the cheapest people they can hire.
Those security places you hire to monitor your house.
Oh, come on.
They're like ice cream salesmen and stuff like that.
But that's what you get.
You want concert security.
You want those big fat guys who, like when someone rushes the stage and beats up a rapper,
those guys come in swinging.
But the airport might hire lower speeders.
Well, of course they will.
But the lowest bidder that can...
Maybe there's some federal regulation, right?
Like, you know, you must be this tall to protect the airport
or something like that along those lines.
But once they meet those minimums, I mean, that's all we expect, right?
Like, NASA isn't going out of their way to find more expensive O-rings.
Everybody goes to the lowest bidder.
It doesn't always mean a bad thing.
You just got to meet a spec.
It did kill people with the O-ring cases.
If there's a couple companies that do the security thing,
then pretty quickly, if one of them,
and they're getting kickbacks from the airport or for whatever means they get paid,
if one of them is going way, way faster,
they're a lot more productive.
They're a lot more useful for that airport.
And that shitty company is
going to get replaced by something better.
If you buy
one security at O'Hare
and the other security at O'Hare, and you replace all
the TSA with people who are
marginal, like you were
saying ice cream men, I'd take
half a dozen ice cream men and half a dozen
weekend clowns over there, and
then you'd be like, man, these weekend clowns,
well, you know, when you think about it, they have to work a lot.
They are fucking clowns on the weekend.
They got that gumption.
They got that discipline.
They're going out late nights.
Hand-eye coordination with the balloons?
Yeah, the guy's going.
Get him in the game.
Is this your ID?
Can you run an x-ray machine?
The reason the TSA became a government agency was because 9-11 happened.
And your boarding pass is gone.
And the 9-11 hasn't happened since.
Where'd it go?
Have a nice call.
I need my passport.
I'm fucked.
You are fucked.
It's gone.
Open the passport.
This isn't mine.
Here's my picture.
It's been removed.
Open your mouth.
I'm never going to get into Egypt now.
That's what we need i'm on the weekend clown and ice cream man thing but yeah i hate those fucking people so much it's always the same kind of people they're they're they seem very
unprofessional you always hear stories about them stealing i have had things stolen that there's no
excuse for like like you know like one or two things out of a zip suitcase just gone now.
It's been belts one time.
Like there were two belts in the bag.
I left them in the bag because I didn't want them stripping me of my belt at the x-ray machine.
It was like, ah, my belts will be in the bag when I get to Chicago.
I'm sagging all week.
Sagging all week.
No belts.
Don't have any.
Took them.
Bastards.
They were stolen.
They were stolen.
Took my Calvin Klein belt and my whatever Walmart cheapo belt.
Have you ever had the unfortunate event, I guess, of when you're just walking through
and they're like, all right, you've been selected for additional screening.
And then they take you to that silver table and they take your bag and they open it.
And then the guy who opens it just leaves.
He goes, all right, and Tracy will be over here in a minute to get you finished up and it's like i have a niggling feeling that tracy
is in no hurry like i i have got a fight to catch and so you just stand there for like six seven
minutes this was at i think the denver airport and you just wait wait for someone who's doing
nothing over in a different corner to come over and then, like, poke at your shorts and your laptop and then be like, oh, you're fine.
You're fine.
I've never really had any major issues.
I've been patted down a time or two.
They've, you know, they've opened my bag up.
And people I've been with, like, I had a girlfriend who had just a big fucking fistful of change in the bottom of her purse.
That apparently shows up really funny on an x-ray, especially if it's like layered amongst like tissues and other junk.
There's just this mesh of metal looking stuff in there.
So if you have anything like that going on for sure.
I've had a lot of experiences where they were really cool with me, though.
I had my expensive lighter going into maybe flying out of Philly, going to, we were catching that little flight up to Vermont.
Yeah.
I had that lighter and he was like, ah, can't let you through with this, man.
He's like, it's pressurized, you know, flammable fuel or whatever.
And I was like, ah.
He's like, I know how expensive these are.
I'm like, yeah.
He's like, tell you what, I'll take you into the bathroom and use my ink pen to vent all the gas,
and then I'll give it back to you.
And I'm like, fuck yeah.
All right, yeah.
I don't need the butane.
Go for it, bro.
I'll get some more butane.
He was really cool about that.
I still remember.
Well, yeah, there's diamonds in the rough.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah, there's been a couple times where they were cool with me.
But then, like you said, one thing that always bothers me
is how discriminating they are when I hand them my ID.
Because I feel like they should be like, all right, have a nice trip, Mr. Myers.
All right, Mr. Abdul.
Okay, you have a good trip, too.
But they're always just like, I don't know.
You didn't have as much hair here.
Your facial hair is a little different there.
You appear to be winking a bit in this photo are you trying to you're trying to send me a signal here like they're jack bauer all of a
sudden it's like you're the guy they stuck way out here on the front end of the perimeter clearly
you're not a valuable team member like you're i want to ask them i want to i've been thinking of
this i before 9-11 these guys were privatized,
and it wasn't any better.
They were the same idiots.
The standards were lower, though.
The spec was lower.
We need higher standards, but privatization.
It's so weird to watch movies like Vacation or something,
and you see the security, or like Airplane,
or any of the Airplane movies,
and you see what security used to be like
before they made a bunch of, like,
you have to make sure they don't blow things up
because, I guess, before 9-11, they were like,
nobody's going to hijack planes and blow them up.
Are you crazy?
But, like, just seeing those movies and being like,
God, that must have been so nice to just...
Of course, Woody remembers that, being like,
oh, I'm at the airport 20 minutes before my flight.
Let me just walk to my gate.
I remember being about the same.
You could wear shoes, though.
The shoe thing I don't like.
Yeah, that's fairly recent.
That was that shoe bomber.
Like, that's one guy's shoe.
And they're, oh, that dick.
I'm waiting for that bra bomber.
I'm going to get a show with my travel.
There's a comedian who said it.
I've repeated him since.
But he's like, I want the terrorist to do something that requires us all to fly first class to be safe right why is there no I don't know
your belt off you take your shoes off you do all this shitty shit why is there
no terrorists it's like ah we can only make people safe with more leg room that
would be great this you know the the ejaculate bomber
no ingested ingested nitroglycerin preparing to ejaculate it onto a
stewardess and cause her to explode midair.
You know, from now on, all men will be taken into a side room in relief to ensure that nothing in the urethra is residue.
You know, and they'd be like, all right, take your penis out, hon.
I'm gonna pee you out.
It's like, I'm real quick at this.
I hope so.
I imagine they got one of those, like, vacuum suckers, like, at a dairy farm.
There's 18 of us in a dairy farm all getting milk like dairy cows close to one another now shoulder to shoulder meanwhile auto blow stock goes through the roof getting us all off at once airport security is a fucking joke i i wish that there were a different
mode of travel i wish that like high speed rail was like i wish that fucking trains would there
was a train that went from like atlanta to like la and did it at like 600 fucking miles an hour
something outrageous like that and the tickets were $300 or $200 or
you know like 20-30% less than
the airport plus like lax
security right because who needs security when
you're traveling 600 miles an hour in a tube
nobody yeah it's not like with the
air or something like it's not like you could
sabotage it with a like big wheel
like I don't
know what 600 miles an hour on a
track it seems easy like the way chis does it is
like i feel like even if they're going like 45 miles an hour or something right like it seems
like they're always just putting around through the mountains like i'll get home and it's like
another day and a half before he makes it and the stops take a while too that's building a hyper
train to chicago from here that i think is going to cut it down to be half as much.
I hope you're right, but thus far, all those trains are imaginary.
Unless you're in Japan.
Yeah, outside the U.S.
But I always hear about the hyper train from Vegas to L.A., from sometimes maybe is it Texas to Vegas?
Now you mentioned, I guess, St. Louis-ish
to Chicago.
Philly to New York is one sometimes people
talk about. They never happen.
They will eventually. Someday.
I hope so. That'd be cool. I'm down for that.
I'm not getting on an old-fashioned Chiz train.
I'm not going
back in time. You can save money
if you're willing to shovel coal. if you're willing to shovel coal.
If you're willing to shovel coal.
For our next trip, how about
Kyle or Woody, one of you hop on the other
side and we just do that up and down
thing all the way.
I would love to try one of those things.
I bet you would try that
or any of us would try that in real life
and we'd get like three pumps
in and be like oh my god
oh this is a him like cart oh i thought that the rails would be slick they've been baking in the
sun they're sticky almost oh you push harder are you putting you're faking aren't you
somebody's like you know chis would do that i bet he'd just be over there like it was hover hands
you know as you're sweating bullets my mom is always pitching the idea of like a two-person kayak like i think you and your
family would have a great time if like you and colin went kayaking on that river it was a river
near me and i'm like oh my god like i need to haul some i'd be willing to get two kayaks two
kayaks i can do one kayak where i haul someone else's ass around is not my idea of a hobby fuck it yeah
it's not fun at all it's like when you go canoeing with a girl or a girlfriend or something and
you're both in the canoe or kayak or whatever and of course you know every once in a while they want
to try being in the back because i'm tired of like hitting branches up here let me sit in the
back and it's like oh yeah i'll just i'll happily sit in the front where i have to exert every ounce of my strength to try and keep us on course as you
browse instagram and i get driven right into like spider webs and shit which is which is the work
see that that that uh gif on reddit of those two girls like uh two could you didn't know how to
row a boat oh was it a family in it i haven't seen that there's two girls in a boat and then there's some
other boaters over there who actually know how to row and you know the guy's just like he's rowing
he's looking over these girls each of them have a uh an oar and they're just like going different
directions so the boat the boat will spin a little and then they'll be and then they'll both switch
like that's the answer so it'll just spin the other way and then like the boat will just shift
they don't know what the fuck they're doing.
You can't figure out rowing.
I hate to go full-on misogynist, but isn't it a girl thing to be that worthless at something like rowing?
Yeah, I think it's just...
Just today, my wife was starting a lawnmower, right?
She turns the key, and this particular key stuck in the start position.
So instead of it going
it's sounding like a motor does when it runs you hear the starter like grinding it idle speed
and i'm like turn the key back turn the key back and she's like oh well not my fault really like
normally keys turn back on their own which is true but it's not like i had any special key
training turning i could just hear there was
obviously something you're right honey thank god i went to that special key turning seminar last
fall they told us all about this right like like the one two system you know
patented proven you know i just like i don't know why it doesn't happen and like you're right woody like
there's stuff that men suck at that women are way better at but something like rowing
like like you know what happened to those two guys like near the fucking euphrates or whatever
3 000 years ago who were sitting in their canoe not able to figure out what direction
is is they didn't die is all the women in their village found out and they're like,
and they all took a fucking pharaoh barge up to watch
as, you know, Madik and Ahmed
desperately tried,
what is with this confounded machine?
I cannot figure out how to get it.
You switch to the other side. No, my other side.
Yes.
Like, oh no.
Of course, nobody fucked those guys because they couldn't
row, and so
only row babies were born.
This is science.
It's proven.
So rowing, much like key turning, is on the Y chromosome, I guess.
I think there's a lot of physical activities that are on that chromosome.
I think that a lot of, like, physically coordinated activities.
You know, like, it's one thing to, like, oh, I grabbed my phone.
But it's another thing to, like, I don't phone. But it's another thing to, I don't know,
turn a thing all day or paddle a thing.
Paddling a boat is just...
I don't have any boat paddling skills.
I don't have any experience at it.
I'm trying to remember if I've ever been in an actual boat
that was meant to be paddled.
I don't think I have.
But I've been on rafts and shit that we made as a kid
and barges.
We had a dock on our pond. I've been whitewater rafting with kyle ah there you go yeah that time yeah you work it out like instantly i will say he was a little
lazy on the paddling he often argued we're gonna go down river anyway we're gonna end up where
we're gonna end up everyone else it's like make sure the boat's pointed in the right way.
And we need to orient ourselves on this side, that side, or in the middle of a raft.
And Kyle is like, you know, this all seems to happen fine without me.
It absolutely did.
Let me tell you what paddling did.
Let me tell you what that paddling was about.
It was about everyone feeling like they were part of the adventure and having more fun.
It was like when you hand a kid a fishing rod and like hang on to it when really you've already like caught the fish
like if
Everyone just put their their oars and their laps and crossed their hands that guy
Steering this thing was still gonna steer it right where it needed to go
The only thing that might have happened is we'd hit a little harder and it had been fun
I was thinking like like let's let's fucking instead of guiding this thing perfectly through this maze because this guy's done it 30 times let's go fucking sideways
or backwards let's hit this thing and capsize this boat roll it like yeah that doesn't sound
fun capsizing doesn't no i'm telling you it was like i wanted violence i wanted like when chis
flew out like right away i was like I was like, oh, shit.
We're going to have a good day.
Chiz fucking got ejected, like, 15 minutes in this thing.
Like, literally, we get in the water, and I was like, oh, this is going well.
Didn't get too wet.
Just, like, my ankles and a little above got wet.
My pants are fine.
Like, the spray is, like, welcomed because it's hot.
Lazy paddle down. Chiz is amazing.
Naval hair and all.
Hair everywhere. Tough sub it. Naval hair and all. Hair everywhere.
Tuffs of it.
Big hairy tufts of it.
And then all of a sudden
fucking Chiz gets
ba-boom!
Like bounced out.
And he's like
like in the water
like reaching up to us.
And we're like
ah!
Dragging him back in.
I'm like yeah.
Now we're going to have some fun.
That was the highlight of the day.
That was the highlight of the day.
Later on we walked under a very cold waterfall, or some people did,
and then there was some sandwiches to be eaten,
and then there was a tiny little hole that everybody swam into,
and they came right out the other side, and that was the day.
Have you ever, when you were rowing,
what do you say you hated those two-person rowers,
like on your floating a river?
Like not a rapid, but not like a lazy river.
Like a reasonably sped, speeded, whatever you'd say, river like not a rapid but not like a lazy river like a reasonably sped
speeded whatever you'd say river sure like when you're with i i hate a swift river i hate that
when you have a chick on the front and you're in the back obviously rowing and you don't want their
help because they're not helpful and so you like they just will lean back and you'll be you know
rowing hard or whatever trying to make it around a turn.
And they'll be like, just relax.
You're stressing me out.
And it's like, I can't relax.
The only reason you are able to relax, and we're not in those spider webs and cottonmouth branches with snakes, is because I'm doing this.
You want us both to do it?
Because right now, I'm the guy paying all the taxes.
I'm paying
the piper over here.
And you're going, why don't you just relax?
Man, it's going to be
fine. I've never picked up the
horn. I've never had anything wrong. And it's like,
no shit, look behind you.
Oh, anyway.
I don't know why I thought of that.
I enjoyed that. I would like to go when it's really scary.
Like, I want to do things where there's some small risk of death, frankly.
Like, I want there to be a little risk of death.
Like, not like, oh, yeah, this is the third trip out today.
We lost someone this morning.
Like, I don't want to go to, like, war in Nicaragua or anything.
Like, we don't need that.
But, like, I want rapids where people drowned last year.
I want rapids where, like— Have you gone skyids we're like on skydiving that seems up your alley kind of the thing about skydiving is i think
it would be there would be a lot of build-up of fear and then there would be a big adrenaline dump
and then i think that would be it and i think it's a lot of work to get to that and and but i don't
think there's a lot of fun to be had between the initial adrenaline dump and the ground like i
remember that power rangers
movie like when i was a kid and like all of them jump out and had a different x game style thing
on them like one guy snowboarding to the ground um you know they're all like doing crazy shit in
the air and and it's just like yeah i guess if like every weekend you went out with your power
rangers buddies and you all like all right man let me put on my skyboard and like you all did a
cool thing and videoed it that'd be neat but like how often am i after i go through the rigorous process of
getting certified so that i'm not attached to some other guy faggot style quite frankly
do i do am i even going to enjoy this like am i really going to be like all right let's get the
gear on time to go out again and like drive off to an airfield and jump two or three times a day. I need jump buddies now. I think the fun to weight ratio
weight isn't W-A-I-T, is not very good
in skydiving. They enjoy themselves for 180 seconds
and that takes like two, three hours
to make happen. You drive to the airport, you wait. They need a big enough group
so they're not going to take the airplane up from one guy.
You talk about doing something near death.
I showed it to Taylor already.
Can I show you my paramotor acrobatics video
from like two days ago?
It's the top link in the group call.
It says new video by Woody's Gamer Tag.
Yeah, I'm watching it now.
I thought I did some pretty cool shit in it.
Yeah, it's really cool.
That's the most intense, or of what I've seen you do,
that's the most intense thing.
Yeah, I just kind of got better at it.
It was windy up there.
It was pretty smooth, but I'm up there flipping around.
About two-thirds through it, I get really upside down.
I think I'm about to.
That's pretty cool.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see that.
I had to ask Woody while I was watching it.
Is this like a blind panic, or are you trying to do this?
Yeah, because if you don't know how to do this, you don't know.
Honestly, if it zoomed out and there was a big funnel cloud near you,
I'd be like, yeah, yeah, it's about to suck him up any second now.
Because it looks like you're being whipped around, like, out of control.
And, like, you're just trying to, like, not die.
Yeah, it's hard to know what you're looking at if you're not doing it.
It looks cool, though.
But, yeah, they're called wing overs.
And, basically, it's me, like, turning, getting upside down, and then swinging back through, like, on a swing.
It's, I don't know, I did it.
I've been doing it for a while but the without getting too deep into paramotor talk i was having this issue where i build up too much
energy and i have to spiral out you know just to get back under control this is the first time
where i was able to get into like decreasingly smaller wing overs and have control the whole
way through and it was a it was a big breakthrough for me so yeah that's that that's pretty impressive there i like that but yeah like with the white water rafting thing
like i what i don't want is what is my like adventure activity whatever it is or whatever
i'm gonna do for fun i don't want this to be something that a 13 year old could even fucking
do right i i like 18 and older activities like when we did those go-karts like i didn't want
go-karts that children could even use.
If you don't need a driver's license to get on this go-kart,
then I don't want any part of it.
It's not worth it.
It's really not.
Like I don't want any part of that.
I want some adult activities where it's as unadulterated and hardcore
as they'll allow the general public to do.
And if there's some way I can be like, hey, man, it's me.
Just turn it up a little, right?
Because there's been so many situations where I –
like when I was with Billy Baldwin, he was like,
well, normally we don't do this with people in the car,
but this is going to be fun.
Just hang on.
I like that if somebody's like, well, yeah, we'll press the envelope for you.
Yeah, give him more power.
He wants it.
And I'm like, well, I want it, but I don't
know what it means. You're the expert.
You just seem to be doling out the power knob
now when 30 minutes ago there was a whole
spiel about why we couldn't go above 7
and now you're cranking it to 11. Okay.
I like
that. I like anything like that. I would
like to get in one of those G-Force
fucking centrifuges that fucking
until you go unconscious. I'd love that. I'd like to find out. Can I sustain g-force fucking centrifuges that fucking until you go unconscious
like i'd love that i'd like to find out like can i sustain three and a half g's for five minutes
can i can i take four i'm too tall but i would do my breathing exercises like i practice every night
i'm told the women do that because they're short i read that i read that girls are curiously good
at it because they're shorter. Yeah. That makes sense.
Because if you're a pilot, it helps to be...
Even astronauts are pretty short, right?
It helps to be shorter?
I'm sure it does.
But I think astronauts often come from fighter pilots, it seems, right?
A lot of those guys are pilots before,
and it's not like they're choosing from the airlines.
Makes sense.
It's just your heart in your
brain like this distance apparently is critical yeah i would imagine though i don't know like
it seems like if you've got this long leg where like there's blood down here rather than like up
here that like it would be hard you'd have a lot of blood pooling down in your feet and stuff and
your extremities from the g-forces and your your your heart can't siphon it
back up to the brain so i see them talk about you know exerting all of your muscles like like
i think i think richard described you know starting with like your toe muscles and like
slowly like compressing it back so you're you're squeezing that blood back up into your heart brain
area and that's what compression suits do those uh uh as those guys pull more and more g-forces in their fighter jets they're wearing a suit that especially on their
legs i know is crushing their legs like you know that that uh blood pressure machine at the at
right aid it does that but their whole lower body i know for sure i don't maybe their upper body i
don't know but uh it's squeezing that blood up in there and letting them maintain consciousness and
getting a random erection could be a life or death scenario yeah yeah you don't want to get
too excited oh you see guys in pornos where you're like that's got to be like half a pint right like
like he's got to be running low at this point like like if he had to if he had to like stand
up too quickly he'd just fall over dead.
I have no idea how much
blood is actually in a dick.
I would imagine that it's not
as much as
you would think.
The spongy tissue of it
would be super good at absorbing.
Start with your bare minimum. Your George Costanza
just stepped out of the pool.
Then take your maximum and then calculate that volume, right?
Because it's quite a bit of blood.
It's not a balloon full of blood.
There's like this much blood there.
Or wait, no, wouldn't you just dip your flaccid dick in some water,
and then dip your erect dick in some water,
and would that tell you how much blood is in there?
Yes, it absolutely would.
Oh, Copernicus over here.
Figuring shit out.
Well, if one simply
places your penis in the
water, you will measure the amount.
That's what they were doing in Fargo.
I don't know how you guys were able to
pick up that he was peeing in it.
I thought he was measuring dick volume.
Yes, he was.
He had a very small dick. That's why no water came
out of his side.
Finding the volume of my penis. Of course. That's why no water came out of his side. Finding the volume of my penis, of course.
That's why he was able to do it in a coffee cup.
Did you guys watch the finale of that show?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, I didn't like it.
I didn't like...
So here's one thing I need to know, though,
before I can really fully judge it,
is they always have that thing where this is a true story.
And then they fade out the part so it says this is a story.
And I realize that this is loosely based on some true events, especially there at the end.
They're like, ah, Mr. Stussy was blah, blah, blah, $200 billion allegedly, et cetera, et cetera.
I need to know how true this is, and then I can know how bad of a job they may or may not have done with the writing.
Because I didn't like the direction the show took at the end. But if
they're just sticking to the script as in
if they're just depicting the actual
real world events
as they more or less took
place, although it's clearly very
fluffed up. There's crazy shit
in Fargo. Then I can get on
board more. I'm just wondering. I'm trying to think what
it was about the ending that I didn't like. I liked...
Obviously
it's a bit of a spoiler. I think you didn't like the
shooting thing.
So I didn't like how the
shooting played out. I thought
this was your climax, or at least
to me, it felt like, oh, this is the
big moment, the big shootout. And I felt
like it was almost like No Country for Old Men,
how it takes place off-screen almost.
Like, you didn't see the gunfight.
It took place off-screen. You saw the lead-up
to it and the aftermath, but you didn't
see it go down. And then,
what's his name, Varga? Vargas?
With a V. V-A-R-G-A.
That guy, I
didn't like how his story played out at the end.
Like, you should have just had him die
or something. Like, I didn't like the open-endedness of that scene at the very end although we all know i felt
that yeah there's a man coming to like bail this fucker out of course there is yeah i think that's
what you were supposed to think is when he's like what's going to happen is five minutes from now
someone's going to come through that door and i'm going to pick my teeth with a metal toothpick
and i'm going to watch and go how the fuck is his teeth there and he has 300 million dollars
and he hasn't see that that's something i didn't fully realize until later in the show
embarrassingly enough is like his whole teeth thing obviously being a side effect of the bulimia
like at the end when i heard how much money they'd made it was like 300 million or something ridiculous yeah i was like oh so this guy it's honestly just an intimidation tactic and a what
the fuck can this guy what is this guy capable of tactic keeping his teeth like that and also
it's about being the wolf i think it's him it's part of his disguise, right? So much of what he does is not being spotted,
not being picked out, et cetera.
Those teeth, to me, maybe the wolf or the other thing,
to me, it was part of his disguise.
It was part of him not being who you expect to be.
I think that makes him stand out more than anyone.
The way I saw it, this was the only thing about him that was real.
It was the only authentic thing about him.
He was kind of a ghost.
He was always lying about who he was or what he was his name didn't really mean anything we never
found out what his initials even meant right like he's a real ghost of a character the teeth were
the only thing that that was real real about him that that was that was something he couldn't
control clearly with the bulimia or at least that his that was his way of controlling it and
you could say clearly played it up.
Like, when he was in those, like, close conversations with other characters.
Yeah, they were intimidating.
You could tell that he was, like, you know, clicking his teeth in chief.
You know how bad of an infection you get if I were to bite you right now?
You lose your fucking hand, mate.
I go onto the Komodo Island and all the dragons run away.
I'm Australian now.
Because his spit's so toxic.
But that's what I thought.
Towards the end, I noticed more in his interactions.
Like, oh, he's doing his best to blow hot, nasty breath and show his teeth.
And show, like, if I don't give a fuck about this,
why do you think I would give a fuck about ruining your teeth,
ruining your face, breaking your legs?
All these guys with guns, they're horrified of me,
the guy with the fucked up teeth.
That means that I got a lot of power in other areas because I don't even go to orthodontists.
But it made sense that he'd have rotten teeth and being a British man as he was.
Because we see plenty of rich British guys who have fucked up teeth.
That Nigel Farage guy's got a shit mouth.
Just like this guy.
Like so many rich British guys just have big mouths full of shit.
A lot of bulimic British thoughts.
No, it's just bad dental care over there.
Or at least like I think it's more that they just don't think it...
I think to us, it's a big deal. Like,
white teeth are kind of part of
an ideal package.
Like, nice teeth are as important as
pretty eyes or nice breasts or
an athletic body or whatever you're
into. And for them, I don't
think that that's...
Aren't all eyes
interesting?
No.
Even though, like i i think one of the least good looking eyes maybe what is what i have it's like
a little brown a little green a little something else and they're just all yeah and it's like a
solid awesome brown eye can be captivating an ice blue eye can be captivating. An ice blue eye can be captivating. The hazel one, which is just a little bit of everything
fucked together,
still neat. All eyes
are neat if you bother to look at them.
Some eyes are better than others. Eyes are a convenient
thing to compliment because if you care about the
person you're talking to, you're going to think
that their eyes are pretty. Whereas if you
love someone who has just horrible,
horrible teeth
or something, you can't be like oh oh your
smile it's like a caribbean sunset it's oh it's because it's also orange
but like yeah that no no i have a preference for snaggleteeth and impoverished your your
doe brown eyes or your beautiful green eyes or oh you oh gorgeous blue
eyes because any eye color you can wear something that makes it pop you know oh all right so i'm
sorry to interrupt but we we did our our pk hangout earlier and someone was describing the situation
where a youtuber um like shot her boyfriend and and he described it as like the boyfriend was
holding a book out to the side and she shot the book
to see if she could shoot through it.
From that link, it appears to me that maybe she was
using it as makeshift.
He was holding the book to his chest or something.
Maybe she couldn't shoot through it.
That's what Chiz is insinuating there.
Then she shot through the book
and got the boyfriend.
Wait, what?
Yeah, see there in the PK recording chat recording chat no i can't switch chats i'll be link oh i can i can switch chats
youtube gun stunt gone wrong charges filed after boyfriend killed so that he was using the book
as body armor and that that's what she's suggesting here and what family
described as a youtube stunt gone wrong a 22 year old man that's what he's throwing out there that
minnesota's dead and his pregnant girlfriend is in jail around 6 30 p.m monday night norman county
sheriff's deputies responded to the 500 block of the u.s highway 75 on report of a shooting
um let's say life's life made but theyear-old was pronounced dead at the time.
His 19-year-old girlfriend was booked into jail,
reckless discharge of firearm charges.
Their pranks had been escalating on YouTube.
He had told me about an idea.
I said, don't do it, don't do it.
Why are you going to use a gun?
Why?
Pedro apparently gave Perez a.50 caliber Desert Eagle handgun
and instructed her to shoot a round into the book he was holding,
thinking it would stop the bullet.
The couple had apparently tested the stunt before attempting on video.
It's funny.
This is a stunt that Kyle was going to do.
Back on PKA early, PKA 7 or something,
Kyle thought a Cosmo would stop a maybe a pistol or something
like that i thought that i could create a composite of mini cosmos glue and i told him it wouldn't
work sticks that's when he added wood glue he was gonna put wood glue between the pages
and turn the cosmo into something much stronger than a traditional cosmo
the wood glue and popsicle that's why they use that in the military. I begged with him
that you must test this before
shooting yourself with it.
And he agreed to my terms.
And I don't know that he ever tested it.
He just sort of... Yeah, we were all
on a Skype call, and I went...
I opened my bedroom window and took a pistol,
and I went, BANG!
And you were all on the call, or a bunch of people were, and I went,
Nah, it didn't fucking work
not even close hang on let me fold it in half BANG nope nope not even half good enough to stop
this is like I don't understand how they tested this beforehand they shot they put the book on
the ground shot it I'm sure so they just put the book on the ground and shot it, I'm sure. So they just put the book on the ground and shot it
and then they thought, oh, that's the same thing
as holding the book still.
More or less the same.
And then how close was she standing for this
pregnant bitch to get there?
Point blank.
It must have been point blank because
man, and she's pregnant too.
So it's like, could you at least time this stunt
like maybe eight months from now?
Oh man, let me tell you what I saw now? Let me find the video of this Russian guy
jumping out of a parking lot and parachuting.
It's unfortunate.
Yeah, it's very unfortunate.
Nobody needed to die,
and now that pregnant girl's life is ruined.
Yeah, here it is.
Man, I love the internet.
You don't even have to, like, a little Googling and everything's just right there.
Check this out.
I think we should watch the whole thing.
This is supposed to be a lot of good shit, so we don't need audio, necessarily.
Although, it's interesting.
It's like frying her ass off in fear.
I'm at zero.
I'm at zero, too.
I'm all squirred away. Ready, set, play.
Oh, I've seen this one. This is promising. Yeah, this guy's on the wrong side of the railing,
way up on a balcony. He's got two or three buddies, his girl and a baby like watching. They're pan're panning down for, like, eight, nine, ten seconds.
He's got drunk eyes.
He's got a parachute off the internet.
And he's getting ready
to jump off the balcony.
Like, who?
And he's wearing flip-flops.
This man is
wearing flip-flops, shorts,
a t-shirt with a very large,
protruding, what can only be beer belly.
Is that a beer belly or is it another piece of equipment under there?
No, that's a beer belly.
Yeah, that's a piece of equipment. It's his belly.
No, the guy didn't go, alright, give me my tactical flip-flops and my belly cover.
No, he went, give me seven beers, I'm gonna guzzle those down, and I'm gonna do this.
It opened! Shockingly, it goes really well.
He's turning to the left, and he's landing in a soft green field!
Yeah! What a badass now the internet it just it panned out
he had look at his housecar and his wife and kid are the internet thinks he has more experience
than it lets on they say that uh the fact that he had someone else hold the pilot shoot
for like immediate expanding okay uh yeah i guess i i
guess i would have known that too and and they like the way he made his left turn they thought
that that technique was pretty good you know the altitude that he chose to make it and he hit his
spot it seems yeah it looks good to me too they think that he was that wasn't his first time
jumping i would hope not but but i like to believe that he just bought that
to look at him. He doesn't look like the kind of guy
who has been doing enough jumps
to get that belly
off.
I don't recognize language as well, but
the parachute looked like the German flag
to me, for one thing.
Although it's an internet parachute.
It sounded like they were speaking Russian, maybe,
or some shit like that, but I don don't know the comments will probably say they're in venezuela
or something but that was pretty fucking cool and that guy is badass that is on the same level of
like balls as those guys who jump off like an eight story balcony into a swimming pool or
something down there below like that kind of like confidence in what
you're about to do is pretty impressive to me i know it seems reckless and crazy but i don't
put it nearly in the same regard as those assholes who like drive their cars 180 miles per hour
through traffic weaving around because this guy dies he just dies i mean i guess the parachute
could have completely failed and he smushes someone but i mean if i'm getting if i'm smushing someone
if my parachute goes quite frankly i hope i land on someone to break the fall right that's very
selfish of you you'll just both die it depends on what the pert if you land on wings of redemption
i knew we were gonna go there i knew we were heading straight to wings wings is he's sun
tanning right he's laying out there spread completely wide and my chute opens
at like 200 feet all right i get slowed down to maybe fucking 50 miles an hour but then i land
ass first right in the middle of his belly just just curled up curled up sliding in ass first just
right now wait just hear me out what if he currently has
like a mercer boil or something as an exit point right so you could hit him and he would work kind
of like an airbag right where where all his insides would just come bursting out of an
enormous pimple oh that mercy thing so fucking so fucking awful. And his... Taylor, do you know we're talking about the video where he had the doctor?
I remember something about him.
I don't think I've ever watched it.
I think I remember you guys talking about it at some point.
But he had some kind of sore, right?
The Mercer infection.
So his belly was hanging over...
It was hanging down.
And then in the crease, like sort of an underboob.
But it was his belly. I guess
it's prone to infection
in that spot. Yeah, it rubs.
It's raw. What is MRSA?
How bad is that? I'm looking it up. It's super
duper bad if left untreated but he
got it treated and fully recovered.
He had to. That was the thing.
He's in this outpatient style
back room office and they gotta
open the
door to deal with the smell of like the pus that's oozing out of his side and they cut it
oh yeah he was in bad shape yeah that was that was fucking crazy and i just remember like me
and jeremy were in arkansas and i was like pull over pull over man fucking watch this you stopped the whole day to get that yeah i i was like fucking pull over bro like like we'll go to
that gun show in a minute but but we got to fucking watch wings he got he just got some
kind of outpatient surgery today and like he's he's yucking it up with the nurse and like everybody's
trying to pretend like they're not retching it's uh it's a hell of a a video clip i include it whenever i introduce someone to wings i include it in the portfolio
right like there's a few videos that you have to show a newcomer to wings redemption just so
they understand what and who he is and what he's about um because inevitably he's kind of part of
my life story in some weird way because you know they'll be asking about me and maybe i'll start talking about this show and then i'll play a clip and they'll be like well who's that guy
uh you know or or even better one time a girl was like god damn that that fat guy really brought his
life together right they thought it was you taylor they were like that fat guy pulled himself
together big time i remember you guys were talking about it. No, I'm just making that up. Nobody can see your wings. They were like, you know what? I watched the show the other day.
Wings is looking good.
Looks like a totally different guy.
Had a hair! Fucking ripped!
Talking about a girlfriend?
Like, I can't even believe it.
Man, he's looking good.
That patchy facial
hair finally came in god damn
i think uh i think the more likely thing to you trying to land on wings in a sunbathing
is that your pelvis in addition to his rib cage and spine are immediately shattered
and then you have to do some like like, two kids in a trench coat
to drive yourself to the hospital,
like, utilizing your legs
and his upper body or something like that.
It would go badly.
Your musculature has fused
to this man's circulatory system
in the short time.
Something about this MERS infection
has mutated his biology,
and you're now one.
Do I have any superpowers?
No.
No, you have a severe staphylococcus.
An incredible fried chicken.
You should start feeling it very soon.
I do, but take it over.
Unless you consider losing a foot a superpower, then I don't think...
How do you feel about diabetes
as a power oh god oh the beatus wilford brimley that guy uh i didn't understand what beatus was
for those commercials i used to be on walker texas ranger i think he was like uh
that's what i remember him from yeah yeah that's where i remember him from i want to say so like
was he on another he was definitely a main. He was a main
in something else.
Yeah, that's what I'm... I remember he did that
guest spot. Oh, he's not even dead.
He did that guest spot on Seinfeld where he's the postmaster
general. He's like, and while you're that general,
you better, by God,
get your job done!
And Kirsten, yes, sir! I understand!
He got the bucket.
Remember when they, like, walked Newman in with a bucket
on his head?
Yeah.
Tell people what you saw.
That's my story.
Yeah, that's what it was.
Oh, man. I watched Signed by Moon.
He was kind of big in that.
He was in The Thing.
The Thing. That's the one.
That's the one I really like it from.
John Carpenter's The Thing is a very, that's the one. That's the one I really like it from. For you? Yeah, yeah.
John Carpenter's The Thing is a very, very good movie.
Big fan of the original.
You got those practical effects.
You got Kurt Russell.
And it's a real mystery.
There's a lot of intrigue.
It's never explicitly thrown out there who was infected by the alien at what point.
So there's a lot of people who will go back and dissect that movie
and break it down.
I don't know if you remember,
but in the very, very end,
Kurt Russell is sitting there with that black guy
and they're drinking the beers.
And he's like, they're like,
ah, you know, there's no way
we can make it out of here alive.
And he's like, guess we might as well just have a drink.
And the black guy turns up a bottle and drinks it.
And Kurt Russell looks at him and smiles knowingly
and drinks his own beer.
But those bottles
had been turned into Molotov cocktails and it's gasoline in that bottle so Kurt Russell knew when
he saw that guy take a sip and kind of be like well I guess we might as well have a drink and
he's the fucking alien and that's how the movie ends but but you only know that if you've seen
the movie three times and you've and you and you like put in a filter on the screen so you can tell
that it's the same bottles and shit like it's it's a i like that movie a lot i haven't watched that movie in forever i always have like
way lower standards for older horror movies and that's probably wrong like it seems like a lot of
these old horror movies are way better than ones now because they don't rely on the jump as much
because like it's almost like it's the same way that they make pop music now do you know that they
like psychologically analyze pop music?
That's why there's multiple drops in songs.
Go back and listen to that shit.
And it's like there's one contiguous thing, and it's a song.
Now it's like they have to go...
And let it drop or some shit.
Because they measure endorphins in your brain.
And people like these climactic moments. So they pack as many in there as they can that's why
you know fucking shit like beyonce where she says 11 words yeah that's why songs are so much better
where you have like beyonce could you just say one sentence into the mic and we'll take care of
the rest in post all the single ladies all the single ladies ass ass ass ass all the single
ladies all the single ladies drop. $10 billion.
$10 billion.
That's all that it is.
But like the same thing with horror movies.
It seems like now they're like, all right, we're at about, it's been about three minutes since the last jump scare.
We're going to want to pepper one in in the next 20 seconds.
Yep, perfect.
You know, that doesn't make sense.
Ah, it's fine.
It's fine.
I watched both of the Thing movies maybe four months ago or something like that.
There was a remake that came out a while back, and I didn't like it when I initially watched it
because I was unaware that it was a prequel.
The remake they make is a prequel, so if you watch them in succession...
What's it called?
It's The Thing again, I think.
Oh, just The Thing again.
Yeah, yeah, and it's like modern day.
There's a female protagonist.
You get to see the alien spacecraft. They find the alien they dig him up um you get to see like what and at the
very beginning of the of john carpenter's the thing they go to check out the norwegian base
camp and there's this like burnt body of this mutated thing and it's all burnt up and scarred
you get to see like how it got burnt and who that actually
was and then all this other backstory.
But the problem was they
used, initially they filmed it with a
lot of practical
effects like they did in the original,
and then the studio heads came in, looked
at it, and were like, nope! And they
pasted over all of the
these amazing practical
effects with CGI. And so the movie really is crap as far
as the effects go I really don't care for them there's lots and lots of CGI but I was so passionate
about it at the time that I discovered who the CGI company was and did a little research on them
and they had made a couple other movies and I went and watched their other movie where they got to do
what they wanted and that was actually pretty good. It's about these guys on this crab fishing vessel
that pull up some sort of an alien thing,
and there's Russians involved,
and there's so much practical gore of bodies
slowly melting and exploding apart
with tentacles growing out of them and stuff.
I like those old-school practical effects.
Sometimes the practical effects look terrible, though.
They can. Yeah. those old school practical effects. Sometimes the practical effects look terrible though. They can.
Yeah. Sometimes I feel like... Like go back to Indiana Jones. Face is melting like
wax. It's garbage.
But if you go back to Alien,
you go back to the original Alien and you've got
KY Jelly.
They were achieving that effect with
like a fucking puppet and KY Jelly
and this thing is...
And it's just... That's so fucking in that that that
tail is all a pup is all puppetry too as it like goes between the ladies legs and the symbolic
rape scene I the the practical effects can be really good but if they're not done if they're
not done at a top tier level like CGI the the audio one like you know how like audio effects i know i i've known for so long that the
sound of uruk-hai in lord of the rings were wild horses or horses like they're like and shit like
that and then i was watching planet earth 2 and it was like these wild stallions are about to engage
in a match the winner will have access to all of the horse pussy at this watering hill and then and so like this like big uh white horse comes in and there's a big brown horse or
something they start duking it out and like the way that their sound is it's like i close my eyes
and i think that i'm at helms deep and they're like banging their stick it was so similar that
it was they bite but it looks like the main thing they do is slam into one another and then try and do little turnarounds and then a kick at their opponent.
Do you ever watch animals fight and get aggravated at the flagrant lack of coordination and be like,
if I were that horse's brain, no one would ever come steal my flock because I'd be able to be like, oh, look at that.
Look at that. A male horse up there.
Well let me just pretend to be eating grass.
He's a shameless horse so he'll just run at me and try and take me off guard.
Oh and you're kicked in the head!
Oh, oh you've been outsmarted again!
Dead!
Next to the other three idiot male horses who tried the same thing this very morning!
Even better, right?
Add a little trickery to the animal kingdom because they haven't figured that shit out
yet.
Just submit to the other male, turn your back on him, and kick him in the head.
No, because the women horses are so stupid,
by the time my ruse will have been completed,
one of them is going to be getting fucked.
I'll kick them too.
There are notoriously...
There's enough chickens to go around.
Yeah, they're very fickle.
No, there's no chicken.
There's not enough.
Dude, I've been wanting to watch Planet Earth 2 so bad.
You should.
I watched all of it.
Chiz and I were talking about TV.
I want to watch it in 4K.
I have a 42-inch 4K
TV, but I need a big TV.
And Chiz and I were looking at...
What's the budget on this thing, Kyle?
Right? I don't know. That's always the question.
I don't even know what it should be. I'm not up to date.
I don't know what it should be either. Alright, so here's the deal.
The cheapest of the cheap on this website that Chiz and I
were looking at today is $1,500 or $1,600.
Free shipping. No tax. Size? 75-inch 4K TV. of the cheap on this website that she's now we're looking at today is 15 or 1600 free shipping no tax size 75 inch 4k tv that's why i start reading the you start reading the reviews and the contrast
is really poor on it and it's like ah if we want to step up to one that doesn't have scary reviews
it's like three thousand dollars which i which is still less than i think than what i paid for my
current tv but then like like the real good ones are $5,000.
I think that's the bottom thing.
If you really want a good one that you're going to be happy with,
it's going to be like $5,000.
And if you ever were to step up to $7,000, you'd be blown away.
And if you ever retarded and you dropped $10,000,
you'd have the TV of TVs.
Of course, there's a $26,000 85-inch TV
that its stand
looks like a kickstand for a motorcycle
or something. It's so absurd.
They call that the NFL signing day special.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's absurdly expensive. $20,000 for a television set.
My parents bought that once.
When flat screens were brand new.
When everyone else had
CRTs, they saw these
flat screens and they were like,
you know, we watch a lot of TV. Let's make an investment in our entertainment. Whatever
investment. Tell yourself what you want. That's fine. And it was amazing. It's commonplace
now, but they took the TV, they had it mounted on the wall. They had like a audio visual
tech company come in and do it. And they put molding around it, so it really
looked like it was part of the room.
Neighbors walked in, and they're like,
whoa, I have a new life goal
now. I someday want to achieve this.
I forget, I think the TV was
15 grand, but it could have been 25 grand.
That's the TV.
That doesn't include the installation of the speaker.
55 inches.
Dang.
Those are so cheap now.
I have this thing about wanting more than 72 inches because that's where I am now.
I don't want a smaller television than I currently have because I really like the way it fits in that room and the distance that I'm sitting from it.
It's ideal.
It really is.
I love it.
But those 65-inch 4K TVs, the nice ones are like $1,500, $2,000, stuff like that.
It's only when you make that jump above 65 inches that it really gets outrageous into like $3,000, $4,000, $5,000.
Projectors.
I looked recently and I was like, ooh, projectors have gotten cheap.
You know, we're talking about $2,000 4K projectors.
I looked at it and they're all like fake 4k yeah it's like it said 4k in the description then you look into it and it's like
720p capable of receiving a 4k signal and then downgrading it to a shitty 720 output and i'm
like oh well that's i was looking at those two because that's that's that's part of the thing
it's like all right so we we're going to have to –
at some point you're like, well, if I'm going to get an $8,000 fucking TV,
isn't there a $10,000 movie projector where all of a sudden I can charge fucking ticket prices
to bring people over to see this thing?
Some 100-inch 4K 67,000 lumen deal or something.
And I think that's the deal, right?
You've got resolution and then the brightness the the brightness the lumens uh that it puts off and it seems like if you want
4k resolution and i don't know 8 000 lumens or whatever a good one has so that you don't have
to be in a cave to watch it then it's it gets really pricey you're in the time period right
now that woody is describing his parents purchasing that are Are we? Yeah, we are. 4K is so new.
Two years from now, that TV
that you see for $3,000
is going to be $700.
Yeah, but what I'm saying is I think that
two years worth of 4K
TV viewing might be worth $1,300
to me or $1,700 or whatever
that is.
I in no way have ever regretted
my current TV purchase i remember
when i first got it and just like god damn like i was i took twitter pictures of the thing because
it's like it's like i fucking love this thing so much i've watched uh like whenever i'm gonna
watch a movie or something it's like yep gotta watch it on the big tv you gotta turn the lights
off and turn the sound system up and i'm sitting here wanting to watch uh planet earth 2 with
sir david attenborough i want to hear him talk about the horse pussy and how it might be a and I'm sitting here wanting to watch Planet Earth 2 with Sir David Attenborough.
I want to hear him talk about the horse pussy and how it might be a Gotham.
I want to hear about the hours with his wistfully asses.
And I'm like, man, can I watch – I don't want to see this in 1080p.
I should watch this in 4K, and then I could give the 1080p TV to Kitty.
I bet she'd love that.
She'd like 72 inches of viewing pleasure.
I love David Attenborough.
He's great at what he does.
But have you noticed there's a tendency among British nature commentary people to have speech impediments?
That's not a joke.
I'm being serious.
David Attenborough has his whistling S's, which is pretty mild for the most part.
It's not too bad.
But there's this other guy I was watching like some bootleg shit like I finished planet earth and I'm like oh oh man and then I saw like nature's craziest
you know by the BBC or whatever oh my god that's probably pretty good and I
watched it and this dude with like who could not pronounce his ahs was like and
you'll notice here the crocodile swims into the lake and he
immediately notices a snapping turtle and it's like oh David Attenborough is
my favorite I hold the majestic crane and it's like ma my marriage i like that guy i like him a lot i like david
edinburgh i like hearing him you know talk about animals and shit and i remember seeing the first
clips of planet earth 2 it was that lizard escape from the snakes is is really good and i was like
oh man this is this is really a different level of nature documentary this isn't the wild kingdom
on discovery channel when i was 15 years old and like we'll just watch some lions eat a zebra like they're they're putting a
narrative together they're embedding with this family of zebras and giving you a real inside
look and like you you're starting to see the personality of these animals and like how they
they tell a little story for each little group of animals and it's great and i like david attenborough
yeah that's i could i can't like skip the 4k just start watching you'll like three minutes in you'll be so
into it on your 72 inch tv that you'll you'll forget you'll forget about i think i i'm gonna
put it off because and see the other thing is i see that 4k you know the the hd or the the blu-ray
is there you know the 4k bluray, whatever you fucking call them now.
They went through three different transitions.
Oh, that exists now? There's a 4K Blu-ray at last?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
That's how I watch everything.
I haven't looked in a while, but there didn't used to be a 4K Blu-ray.
Will it play my HD DVDs?
I'm almost 1,000% sure on this.
I hope I'm not wrong, but yeah.
You might be right. I could be out of here. it yeah i think you play it on the xbox one i think i think my xbox one plays 4k uh uh dvds oh you're
right it's a ultra hd blu-ray player yeah so they're always calling it something different
you know i remember when a dvd is 720p and then blu-ray is 1080p and then ultra
whatever you just said is now 4k i think did you say that your xbox one can play ultra i think so
i i'm not positive though i think so i know i put i know i put my ultra my i know i put my 4k disc
in my xbox the other day and watched it on 4k tv it looked real good. I'm not a thousand percent sure
that I wasn't seeing some upgraded
or downgraded thing.
Do you have an original Xbox One?
I don't know.
It's a newer one.
It appears that the Xbox Scorpio
is going to have it.
The Xbox One S.
But I got my Xbox One on opening day
and it wouldn't have it.
In any case, that's the plan.
I saw that it was there in that 4K Ultra resolution DVD
for like $25,
and it's like, ah, that's how I'm going to watch Planet Earth 2
because I'm never going to be able to stream it in 4K either.
I've got a 4K TV.
I just can't stream to it,
and it's a 42 inch i think
but that's what i'm okay anyway yeah but that's what i've been looking at a lot lately it is this
fucking tvs and uh and uh looking for a good deal on one i might i looked at used tvs and then i'm
and i i go through this weird weird Emily ah I know the elevator the
purchase of the elevator you go up and down maybe there's a refurbished one and then of course I get
like I end up bound to that 14 that $1,500 like ultra deal that I found that this it's Sony that
Sony TV it's $1,500 75 inch 4k it almost seems like you should who cares about contrast right
it almost seems like it'd be worth it just to... But that's a bad idea.
That's a bad idea.
I can't do that.
That's stupid.
I feel like resolution is the one number
that the newest people cling to.
And then once people become real videophiles,
they start looking at contrast and lumens
and the other stuff.
How black are the blacks?
Yes.
And those things matter to me
because I'm not buying this
thing to watch like tiny tunes like i i like in my head i'm like oh man right away i'll get
fucking um um that that uh what's that lawrence olivier movie um uh in the desert uh
all the stuff that's been filmed and oh wait Oh, wait, Lawrence of Arabia? Yeah, Lawrence of Arabia.
Yeah, yeah.
I would get that movie.
I would get Apocalypse Now.
Old movies?
Yeah.
Well, that one's filmed on film.
That resolution is infinite virtually.
So the 4K restoration of that would look amazing.
It would look really nice.
Or you'd just be like like that guy has a watch on
they used uh they used the same lens uh they used one of the lenses from that movie
and hateful eight uh they you know took that lens off that camera and put it on the hateful
eight camera that filmed that thing um well definitely got to think about it that's a lot
of money on the tv that that i think you're gonna
not like planet earth anymore because oh it's it's four times the resolution and where are
you watching it that's the other question you're getting on netflix dark room in a dark room how
are you getting how you're obtaining it oh that's what that's what we just talked about right that
dvd that i want to get off amazon okay yeah yeah i would i would want maximum resolution yes here's the thing stuttering the everyone says like oh 4k versus 1080p
you can hardly tell the difference 1080p is so good that when you get to 4k you know you can only
get marginally better and still notice it then i got 4k and i seen on netflix i'm telling you
it is way better net Netflix 4K streaming,
you walk in the room and you're like,
whoa, that's sharper than real life somehow.
It's so dense.
It's perfect.
It looks incredible. But there's more,
because subscribers or fans
or people who watch the show or something,
they were telling me that the reason
it looks so much better on Netflix
is the bit rate
that they're sending it.
They're like, they're not sending their best 1080p.
They're sending shitty streamed 1080p.
And then if we got a 1080p Blu-ray and a 4K Blu-ray,
the difference would be subtle.
It only seems dramatic because streaming 1080p is crap.
But I don't know that that's an anti-4K argument
because still, if you're getting your
content from netflix like i often do you get access to the better stream even if it's not
better because it's 4k it's better because the 4k stream is better you get the better stream
yeah yeah that's definitely true i i think it's just better it looks better every time i've i've
looked at it or experienced or done it like like i i've played games in 4k that's a big fucking difference you go from you go from 1080p to 4k you're like
whoa shit now i'm in some sort of real fantasy land especially if you got some realism mod
um we should probably end this show soon but i was watching jack frag's video a couple days ago
of um star war it's star wars battlefront 2 um and it 2 and he's
using a
I think it's called a realism mod
is what they've got on. Let's watch
a few seconds of this.
Star Wars Battlefront 2
realism mod.
Yeah.
This
looked so good that I was like, okay
I gotta go get my 4K monitor
bring it up here, plug it in here, and I got to watch this video, just this one, in 4K because I was watching it on 1440 and I didn't feel it was doing it justice.
Huh.
PKA big screen.
For me, it's still queuing.
I don't have anything that views 4K.
For me it's still queuing. I don't have anything that views 4K. Yeah, I mean you can watch it on whatever you've got and you'll still...
Are you at zero or something?
It looked like the link you gave. No, I just let it play from where you sent it.
You can play it at any point in the video.
Like you can start from the beginning if you want.
Yeah, it does look really cool.
But that looks so good.
So there's definitely a difference.
Yeah, the trees look good.
I believe there's a difference.
And I believe that
us and the people who watch this are probably the kind of people who might care. I believe there's a difference. And I believe that... A perceivable difference, I think.
Us and the people who watch this
are probably the kind of people who might care.
You know, like your father might not care as much,
and my parents,
but gamers in particular,
we're used to caring about improvements
that other guys might not notice.
I don't know if my eyes can see in 4K.
Well, you'll never know.
I'll never know until two years from now
when I purchase one for $800 and it's 70 inches.
And then some LASIK for $1,800.
And I'll be all set.
$3,500.
All right.
PKN episode 150.