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All right, PKA, I'm sorry, PKN episode 151.
Kyle, I have a question for you.
It popped into my head when we were talking.
Kyle was telling a story about being an automotive salesman
and how he would sort of pre-clear people.
So my question is this.
Sometimes when I go to a car dealership,
I give them a, and it's sort of an am I the asshole?
I give them a, you know what?
Don't waste your time.
I am only looking.
I don't say moving on with the hand signs and everything,
but, you know, like, hey, I would rather look on my own.
Am I an asshole for doing that?
So there's just a protocol that you should be aware of
because, like, the salesman isn't always,
he's not just, like, hunting you down.
He's more like an attack dog with a master.
If you were to be walking out there unattended for example someone higher up would be like what the fuck is this what is that guy doing out there with those board shorts looking
at the trucks all by himself who's gonna tell him about the torque not you nobody here wants to work
apparently go home like something like that might fucking
happen to you so like what would be better is if you could be like if you take his card
because then like like it he's claimed you and you're his um but but what you don't want to be
is like the chick who's just milling around the party like scantily clad around a bunch of single
guys you want to pick a guy it's like prison you know you like prison. You want to be somebody's bitch. You want to be
holding somebody's pocket while you're in there.
As a consumer, who are you
looking for? You have to.
If you want to be
perfect when he approaches you,
I would say what you said.
I just want to look by myself. I'm really
window shopping, but I'll take your card, and if I
find anything of interest, you'll be the one
I come looking for.
Yeah, they accost you the same way they do, like,
I'm sure you've all been to Nordstrom,
where you might just be walking around looking at jeans or something,
and you can always see out of the corner of your eye the dude,
the very well-dressed dude, and it's like,
oh, the only reason someone's that well-dressed right now
on a Tuesday afternoon in Nordstrom is because they're trying to sell that outfit
right today, and it's probably like $700 jeans or something, but they always come over and you have to
be like, oh, no, no, no.
I'm an adult.
I can pick my own clothes out.
Oh, no.
Fuck that.
I like to like, like, um, where was I at?
Bloomingdale's.
I was at Bloomingdale's and, uh, there was a very pretty lady in the, uh, there.
And I was like, oh, hook me up.
Like, like you could be my personal, like be my personal fucking fashion assistant for the day.
Well, I've never gotten a pretty girl.
It's always usually like a lithe, gay guy.
Oh, I'm down with that.
So last time I went clothes shopping by myself,
it was right after I did that New York thing.
I think it was called like Digitrends or something.
But all these guys were dressed like Justin Bieber.
And I don't think much of Justin Bieber's clothes on a daily basis, but when I find myself dressed appropriately for like
mowing the yard and everyone else dressed like pop stars, the difference popped. Like their hair was
perfect. Their clothes were fitted. Their shoes were like high-end. So I don't know that someone
chose those shoes with fashioned in mind, and so I had to go
out and just have a look that I could do better with, you know, next time I'm gonna see fans or
whatever, like in some environment like that, I need to be able to look better than my regular
Woody's Gamer shorts, and the guy that helped me, I think he, if he wasn't gay, he could pass for gay,
and he was just what I needed.
You know, he's helping me pick shoes.
I wouldn't have thought that.
I had special socks for those shoes that looked like I had no socks on.
But I really had socks on.
They were just super short.
And I don't know.
Everything was fitted.
And I would wear that, like, even at the airport.
The check-in ladies for United are like, you look good.
And I'm like, man, like, that gay guy knows how to hook a guy up. Man, the check-in ladies at United. like, you look good. And I'm like, man, that gay guy knows how to hook a guy up.
Man, the check-in ladies at United.
Yeah, right?
She didn't hit me. She complimented me.
That's high class right there.
That's one step up from TSA.
You get like a random compliment
from someone who sees people all day.
I think the janitor at the gas station said,
these jeans look great on me.
Dude, guys don't get compliments.
Or maybe other guys do do but I don't
Get many compliments. I'm like you know a girl looks nice. She'll get complimented all day guy looks nice
no one says shit, so when someone actually does it sinks in and
Yeah, just got to be careful with it because it's like I've gotten help before with clothes to where they're like
Oh, and you look really good in this this dark navy blazer or something you're like oh yeah you're
right this I can wear this with anything and look really good like oh yeah and
you want this it's like a pink shirt under it it's like well it's maybe like
turn it back he's like yeah yeah like a light blue shirt and you also want this
like summer scarf it's like oh now you're just trying to ornamentalize me. Do I need to get my ears pierced too?
Just a nose ring.
Yeah, I hear.
Another thing though, and Taylor I don't think maybe is there yet,
but when you're 40, I've been far enough removed from people who are fashionable
that I need a tour guide now.
Whatever.
If I'm trying to look nice,
the things that I think look nice.
I saw this, a picture of like the NBA draft from 2002
and the NBA draft now.
Now, that's not a fair,
that's not what you want to be getting fashion advice from.
Those guys are peacocking.
That's true.
That is true, right?
But the current guys were all in these slim
fitted nice suits and the
NBA guys from like 2002
or whatever it was were in these gigantic
like costumes almost.
Like a salmon colored Armani
suit with like
giant gator boots
and a hat with a feather
coming out of it. Like I'm going number three out of everyone.
Corn cob pipe or something for no reason.
It's not racist.
It's just like black culture has a certain – like I feel like white guys when they buy a suit are just trying to conform.
Like, oh, this is what a suit is supposed to look like.
I aspire to look like everyone else in the room when i get there sometimes black guys are looking for costumes you know if you see a
suit in the color plum that's a church suit that's a black shirt suit that guy is a deacon
like if you look on the inside of those plum uh suit jackets i guarantee they say fucking
like deacon like that's the fucking like those are the only people who wear those it depends what you're wearing the suit for right i would argue that black guys and white
guys get similar suits for similar tasks and and and like like they they dress similar for a white
color job i would have yeah like if they were an accountant some white guys definitely have style
but if you go into a party then i think that the peacocking can be almost like cosplay right you know over in
the black community is this a lot of different styles no this isn't bad no no there's very
sensitive i think some black people definitely have a very flamboyant uh style like like like
you know every and they in different ways like sometimes i see guys who have like like a complete
matching suit.
Like it's like if everything matches, that's cooler.
I never really understood that.
That always looked tacky to me. It reminds me of like the early 90s when you'd have like a track suit where the top would match, the bottom would match, the headband.
And you'd like have the knee socks that matched.
It's like, no.
You can't have the sneakers matching your headband and everything.
It's too much.
Too much matching.
What I think looks good, and i think it still does like like picture dockers with like a button down
shirt and another shirt under it that allows you to button down the the button down like an extra
one you know you're gonna be like khaki dockers yeah like a charcoal pant if i'm gonna wear like
a like a like a dress pant like like charcoal or darker. Not navy, I don't care for navy.
Or olive or anything like that.
And not khaki ever.
Not a big fan of khaki, no.
I don't think it looks nice.
I think it looks a certain way that I don't care for.
I don't know, it reminds me of office space.
Like when I see khakis, like I'm-
No, it's not. I never wore khakis.
But when I picture khakis, I picture a blue button-up and a
fucking $7 Nordstrom tie,
and it's just like a slave
uniform. Can we look at this picture?
Yeah. So this is
Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell
probably 20 years ago, right?
Yeah, this is not a look for today.
My sense of style is frozen
at that. That is what I
look like in high school with worse hair.
Frosted tips?
No, I never frosted my tips.
But I would get a ton of sun as a surfer
and an outdoor guy.
I've seen the pics. You were dark.
At times it would be pretty light
especially towards the end.
That to me looks good.
There's nothing wrong with what he's got.
There's nothing wrong with the idea of what he's
Yeah, it does look like it would know what he's wearing right there is bad because he looks like one of those like characters
That would be in a Spanish textbook like right
Like that's like it's suspicious how the there's no brands
We're like every clothes has like a brand or a letter or something on there.
Yeah, but what I'm getting at is like the button up
with two buttons
open and a shirt underneath it is a good look.
You just have to have a different cut
of button up. That's like a denim open
like lazy kind of thing that isn't
fitted at all and kind of hangs even on
this muscular young man. And his
tee is also high on the neck.
And I want some kind of
graphic tea under there so i prefer the non-graphic tea and i'm not saying i'm right i'm saying i'm
frozen i say graphic tea i just want so i don't want it to be a plain just flat color i want i
want some shit going on that you can see yeah my i like the opposite and uh also that tea is not
like a white undershirt that's a that's a tee you could wear on its own.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, and I like that about it.
That look to me that we're seeing here, and I don't know how to describe it for people listening to the audio-only version,
but it's a denim shirt with a green t-shirt under it, and he's unbuttoned what I would call three buttons.
There's the very neck one.
It's a long-sleeved collared shirt and then just a green t-shirt under it.
I don't like – like when I wear collared shirts like that, I don don't unless it's a white collared shirt and i'm like wearing a suit or
something then i'll wear just a white t-shirt under it an undershirt so it doesn't like you
don't see skin but regular oxfords like that like long sleeve dress shirts i know i don't wear any
undershirts like i just the i but i only leave the top one exactly you would have to button it much
higher and um yeah you just leave the top one unbuttoned
and then you it's if you get it fitted you look better anyway i wonder because that old big style
i wear an undershirt 100 of the time and uh and i prefer it to be colored i i definitely i don't
own any undershirts that are just like white undershirts i don't i've never owned a white
beater in my life so yeah me neither i wonder if you guys
when you fast forward whatever 10 15 years um we'll be able to like pin down a like yeah you
know what what looks good to me is a fitted shirt you know like it ties in it shows your body you've
got a v like a guy's supposed to like i'm still stuck in like properly fitting clothing but today everyone's
pants are back yeah parachute pants with the ascots and those fucking French pay
a hats I don't know what they're called yeah I'm not really trying to trace say
trendy or anything but I think I got my own like particular style and I think I
figured out how to dress myself at this point in life
But but that address is in my I buy new and different things my gene the cut of my jeans has changed like
Three fucking times over the last ten years or so 90. Yeah, that does change a lot. I buy a lot you were
I like buy a lot fewer t-shirts and a lot more polos and buttons button-ups. I've always liked button-ups I've got a lot of button ups. 90% of the time, I'm not dressed well.
Do you still have any jean coat jeans?
I wear a t-shirt a lot, and
I wear cargo shorts a lot. I know they're not in fashion,
but I like them.
And, yeah.
Yeah, that's one of those things
that people hate on.
You could talk to somebody who self-admittedly knows nothing
about fashion, and if you bring up cargo
shorts, they'll be like, ugh, oh well i know enough not to do that or like yeah i don't know why it is
because they're like they are handy i'll tell you what uh if you wear a paramotor the pocket the
clips for your legs go right across your pockets and it's super great to be able to like take your
keys put them in the cargo pockets and now now you don't have an uncomfortable painful... They make cargo pants, though. That's my
argument against that.
They make the cargo pant. It is
the cargo short, except they just keep going.
But they're much hotter.
Well, they're
usually a very light canvas-like material.
I'm a big fan. I like cargo
pants. I really dig the pockets.
More pockets, the better.
I like jackets with pockets.
Almost all my jackets have these cool little pockets on the inside that a pistol can fit in.
There's knives and flashlights in there if I'm going to actually go do a thing.
Your air conditioner must be rocking because you wear a coat all summer long.
It's 70.
I keep it on about 71 upstairs, like when it's really hot.
But down here, because it's the basement,
it's really easy to, it just
stays at like 71 or 72
with like a little help from the
AC. But there's two separate AC things.
There's one for upstairs and down.
But yeah, it's cold down here. I like it cold.
At night, like
even in the summer, I want to have to like
get my blanket.
Yeah, I agree with you there with the blanket thing.
When my AC went out a few weeks, a month ago or whatever,
I still had to sleep partially under a blanket because there's just something about it.
Even if it's just like you leave my legs out totally
and I just cover my midsection with a blanket and take my hands out,
there's something psychological about sleeping under a blanket that if I don't have it it's like
I just don't feel yeah sleepy like I don't feel like I get snuggly on the fan so loud I can hear
it yeah I want to feel like I'm beating the cold so I have I think it's like 67 degrees in here
right now and so when I go to bed I like to feel like oh yeah like I'm winning winning the battle
seven it's so fucking humid outside that like literally i'm not exaggerating like all of my windows have
like like this layer of moisture on the outside of them just constantly you can't see out the
windows we have that in the morning i i maybe i'm cheap but like i 72 is as cold as our thermostats
are set my wife will sometimes take it to 70 but i don't fuss too
much because you know they automatically reset a few hours later if she puts it at 69 or less
it's like what are you doing what are you you know you pushed it too far we've talked about this
before and it is i don't even know if that's probably not even that much money i don't know
i don't give a fuck i just feel like i should be like i'm wasting money you can find out exactly what it is i mean you're you know you just look up your ac unit it's
there's got it's got the number on the outside right and just do the math and i bet it's like
oh shit for 70 more cents every eight hours there's four zones in this house, so they're not all down. But you know if one zone is at 70 and the next to it is at 77,
that one at 77 probably runs less because all that 70-degree air is flowing in there.
What I do do is there's two or three rooms that I shut off,
and I don't run any AC to those because there's no point.
No one's in there.
So I definitely do that. It seems silly to AC a room that just has stuff in it you know people yeah we don't have any rooms that are totally off but anyway oh my pool's almost done kind of we're
swimming in it the filter runs all it needs is a fence uh the it turns out the rock starts now
like two inches under the dirt so they need to get a jack
hammer out there and put the fence posts in but uh it's nice i'm i am i'm wired swimming today
i did yeah last three days it's been open so we've been swimming yeah but it was a little
chilly at first no the water is like 87 hey that, 85? See, that's what I was thinking.
I was like, you know,
I don't think the pool,
the cold water going is going to be an issue because I've gotten in pools that have been filled instantly
and the next day, as kids we didn't give a
fuck, so we'd get in and be like,
yeah, it's fun, splash, splash.
But the next day, for sure,
after a full day of summer heat, it gets
pretty nice. It turns out they filled it with, I want to say warm water.
It wasn't exceptionally warm or anything, but it was like 80-something when they filled it.
Did you order a truck?
Three, yeah.
Oh, so it was heating up in the truck all day, you would think.
So kind of warming.
I think the source was kind of warm.
It was city water, and it was already, I don't know what the deal is.
So it was already chlorinated, and it was good. What did you say?'d you say hope so for sewer water they just gave you like fat no it was it was it
was like already yeah the guy made the big stink about the internet line yeah didn't randy lose
his job over there with the union uh-huh send him that shit water now i know what to do with those
three trucks from Flint.
Send him over there.
And then we ran the hose for like four or five hours, too, to like, you know, whatever, fill the gap.
But, yeah, it's nice.
The PK subreddit went wild hating on my pool.
There were 70 comments and like 68 of them were hating on my pool.
What were they saying?
They all said it was a good picture.
I don't understand.
By and large, they said it was really small.
I looked at the picture, and I don't know where they're coming from.
Like, it's not that small.
It's 24,000 gallons.
And, yeah, there's a picture, and they're like, the water feature is tiny.
My son is hanging on the water picture. I don't know if they see him, but it's like, I don't know, like, he can hardly reach the top.
I don't know.
It's not giant or anything, but I'm like, I don't know why, like, they'd call it out as small.
And they're like, I pictured Woody's pool to be this big.
And I looked at it, and it's roughly a pool the same size as mine.
And I'm like, what are you guys seeing when you look at this?
I don't understand.
But, yeah, I don't know.
They were, like, for some reason.
What did they, like, imagine when you said rock structure?
I think they were looking for, like, a full-on 16-foot-tall Playboy mansion type thing.
Like a full lagoon.
Yeah.
Like of stones that they brought in and, like, set and mason workers and stuff.
All good things for kids to jump off of.
These stones were brought in from Madagasc of. I looked at a bigger um like the
first thing we did we were looking we went to like their showroom and we're like well how much is this
thing and the rock structure was like six feet tall and maybe six feet wide and they're like
oh there's actually a lot of a lot of cement in there that's twenty two thousand dollars
and I was like you know no like that's a lot a 22 grand like that it was really kind of running
sculpture at all that sounds awful like I would think the cheap way to do that would be to get
like the kind of guys who make fireplaces because they do that for like a few grand
and those things are massive you know it's like eight feet wide and 15 feet tall yeah but they
don't do like plumbing up in there and stuff. Yeah, you got the
fireplace, the hole
and the... It does need to be made of
a certain material. Not any rock will
do because it'll erode
and stuff, so it needs to be
particularly resistant. We ended up getting a
water feature kit that they
put in and whatever.
But we're really happy. I was starting to say
it's my nature to like
second guess every decision especially the bigger ones and i'm like i really like the shape of this
pool i think cock and balls is just what we were looking for um i really like the size of it the
depth of it the color that we picked everything um i i don't know that who fucking cares like
they're not coming over to swim from wo Woody, the owner, and two thumbs down.
And 68 out of 70 thumbs down
from the comment.
They're not going to come over to swim.
If they did come over to swim, they would show up
and they'd be like, oh, I love your pool. You have a lovely backyard.
No one will show up at your house and go,
look at this bitch pool.
I'm uninviting everybody from the
comment thread.
They can't comment anymore.
We didn't want to stand in line anyway.
Let me see
if I can...
How's someone going to climb up on top of, then subsequently
slip, fall, and get hurt on a rock structure that's small?
I mean, it's like
four feet tall. You can jump off of it
and stuff.
Do you have a diving board? No, we's um but yeah diving board no we didn't
do a diving board um diving board bring well one it's an insurance thing it gets really expensive
and two it has a lot of impact on how the pool is shaped and how far out the deep end goes and
stuff like that and uh they should make like a a temporary diving board so you could be like
like it like flip out like remember the old in the old movies how board so you could be like, boop, and flip out.
Remember in the old movies how people's beds would be folded against the wall because nobody had enough floor space to actually have a real bedroom?
And they'd pull the bed off the wall like that, but for a diving board.
I did all this research when I bought the pool, and I was like, I'm trying to buy my second pool first.
Learn from everybody else.
I made threads on Reddit.
I read all these forums and stuff.
And everyone was like, the shallow end is where you hang out
like everyone thinks deep and deep and deep end but then when they go to use
the pool they all go to the shallow end and have a drink and just you know mill
around they don't like treading water and I forget so the depth of it like
they don't need to go eight feet it isn't warm enough whatever so we went
six and a half I don't know I made all these decisions based on a ton of research.
It seems to work out well.
So anyway, we got the pool.
We're very excited about it.
We're digging it.
I don't think pool talk is something we need to do very much of.
Well, that's good.
Glad you finally got it done.
And you got at least like two months left to swim time.
So that's good.
This is North Carolina.
It's July now.
Swim on deep into October.
Yeah, I would think so.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Like, October here is fucking hot.
I can remember so many Halloweens.
It can be too hot.
It was like, no, I will not be fucking Chewbacca.
Do you want me to die out there, mother?
Yeah.
I'm going to be Peter Pan or some shit.
Like, fucking something light.
Jesus.
Yeah, you won't need to winterize the pool before november that's
for sure maybe in november you know what the four kids always dressed up for as for halloween
hunters oh yep yeah that was uh that's pretty funny because i remember the quote poor kids
being the ones who just like would wear a sports jersey and like a shitty football helmet or
something yeah you were tom brady last week yeah i'm kurt warner football helmet or something yeah you were Tom Brady last week
yeah I'm Kurt Warner and it was like yeah you and every other kid on this fucking block is
Kurt Warner this year but yeah that was a good what was pirate that was another poor costume
because you could do it I am so it wasn't that I was too poor for a costume it was that I wasn't
gonna I thought I outgrew trick-or-treating.
That was my theory.
And I was a freshman in high school or eighth grade or something like that.
We just weren't going to walk from house to house anymore.
But then some friends invited me.
They're like, hey, Woody, we're all going out.
Do you want to come?
And I was like, yeah, I'm in.
And I grabbed a backpack and I went as a student.
And all the adults hated it.
They were like, that's not a
costume something they begrudgingly gave me candy i would have not given you candy one or two even
refused no candy for you no effort yeah well it was really last penny yeah i was a pirate
four years in a row uh from i think like five to for that eye patch eh yeah like 5 to 9 I wanted to be a pirate
and then became a hockey
player for a couple years and then eventually
it like what he was saying it was like
yeah I guess I probably shouldn't do this anymore
so it became that like lazy teenager style
thing where you're like I know I'm only like
14 but I'm like way too
cool to be around everybody around here
and so you dress up as like fucking
Justin Timberlake
or something. Because everybody had
their fucked up, awful looking
hair with the
tips, the whitened
tips, whatever that's called. What would you
be, Kyle? A hunter?
I don't remember.
Oh, I remember dressing up as Elvis
one year. I had a leather jacket
and a white t-shirt,
and they rolled the sleeves up,
and we put real packs of cigarettes under the sleeves.
It was like second grade.
Nobody gave a fuck.
Different time.
It's not like you were smoking them.
Yeah, right?
There weren't any in the pack.
It was an empty pack.
Two cigs for a little extra candy, Mrs. Smith.
I was Lumiere one year from the fucking... No way!
From Beauty and the Beast?
I had the candles on my hands.
That's great!
I had these yellow jogging
pants, and my
whole top was a cylinder,
and my face was painted, and each of my
hands had candlesticks on them.
Did your mom make this?
That sounds like an
act of love right there like that's so that's a dressing up your little boy's lumiere well my
friend was clockwork so had to that's yeah it wouldn't have made sense it would feel like shit
feel like shit and then and then like the i remember like they made chad the beast and uh
they painted his face really shitty and uh and then remember, like, Lindsay was Belle, and Lindsay was like,
they should have made Arnold the Beast, ha, ha, ha,
because Arnold was the only black kid in class, and then Arnold cried.
Wow.
Oh, poor Arnold.
He's like, he didn't get to meet anybody.
He didn't get to meet anybody.
He was a hunter.
He was the backup beast.
If there's an issue day of, we'll contact you. We don't anticipate that happening. He was a hunter. He was the backup beast.
If there's an issue day, I will contact you.
We don't anticipate that happening.
Please stay by the phone just in case.
If not, we'll see you Monday.
That sucks.
I feel bad for Arnold.
I just read today about sugar in the gas tank. Not as effective as you might guess.
It will fuck your shit up, though.
Someone did that to Scott.
I don't think it's going to disable your vehicle like it's like a like an off switch but like now you've got a car that has
sugar in the gas tank and i think what he had was it kept clogging the um the fuel filter up and
like like he couldn't start the car at first there would be issues that i don't remember it the truck
ended up getting totaled because a second ex-girlfriend came along with a bat and really did in the outside.
Like, one ex, like, took care of the internals, and the second came around with a bat for the externals.
What'd he do?
Like, did he get in trouble or anything?
He probably just loved them too much and paid too much close attention.
Women hate that, right?
He probably just lavished them with gifts and love and attention.
He probably fucked somebody else.
They also hate that.
It's funny, though, like the little standards we have that are different.
Because if Kyle broke up with a girlfriend,
and three weeks later he told me,
yeah, so I went back over to Samantha's house,
and I bashed up her
Mini Cooper something good, smashed all the taillights, I ripped her flowers out
of her front yard, you know, threw a brick up against the front door to make it
sound like a really loud knock, and then I drove away. I'd be like, what
the fuck is wrong with you? Like, why would you do that? Like, you're gonna go
to jail! But like, if a woman does it, there's like some level of you're supposed to be like oh well she's just passionate you know but at the end of
the day it's like no we're just holding we're just holding this person to the standards of a child
lower than the standards of a child if someone if a three-year-old goes over to the fellow
three-year-old knocks their lego tower over you go the fuck you don't do that you don't knock
someone's hard work over because you're upset about something else. But if a woman smashes a car up, it's like, well, you know, she's passionate.
You know, that time of the month is always a perspective issue.
Never stick your dick in crazy, you know?
It's just runs a risk.
That's the thing. Don't stick your dick in crazy.
It's a tacit blaming of the man for not being able to tell she was crazy before he fucked her.
You know?
And then also, he should take some blame.
If you fuck someone that's so crazy that they're going to come destroy your car
after you break up,
there had to be some red flags.
He shouldn't take too much blame.
She is actually the one that fucked up the car.
That's not the first two ladies
he's had come back and
try to do some damage.
If you're always the victim, you're likely the problem.
If everyone he meets
is fashionista...
He's a real man whore. He's just jumping around
fucking all these ladies and telling them lies
and stuff, I'm sure.
But I just don't feel like that
deserves a
physical retribution than to come back
and mess his car up, you know?
They should talk trash about him.
That would be an appropriate level of retribution, I think.
He treats them wrong.
They tell other girls, he treated
me wrong. He has a bad
reputation now because of it amongst the
people I can reach. You hear?
Becky couldn't handle him. Oh.
Wow. I'm a lot more
woman than Becky is. I'll show everyone.
That's how it goes down every time.
That's how it would go.
That stupid bitch Becky thought that she'll show everyone. That's how it goes down every time. That's how it would go. That stupid bitch Becky thought
that she could fix him. He needs a real
woman if he's going to get fixed, and I can do it.
And then like six weeks
into that... Next thing you know, she's out in his
yard with a baseball bat in the dead of the
night, fucking clobbering his
fucking Silverado. You have to be good
looking for that to happen, because
there was no line of women.
Most people don't have 12 women.
I'll fix them better than she could.
Yeah, Scott does pretty well.
I think he looks like a white trash Justin Timberlake.
But it seems like he doesn't really have any issues.
And he's aggressive about going out and looking for these women too.
He's not just sitting around
having these women fall into his lap.
He's going out there and putting the miles in.
He's putting those feet to the pavement.
He's out in honky tonks and bars and clubs.
He's traveling around multiple cities.
He's collecting lots of potential attackers.
There was a guy in my high school
who did really well.
Potential attackers. Potentially. There was a guy in my high school who did really well. There was a guy in my high school who did really well.
I once asked a girl,
what is it about him? His name was Scott.
He was good
looking, but not exceptionally so.
He wasn't really strong built.
He was kind of thin.
He had a space between his teeth, but otherwise
attractive.
She's like, I don't know. He's cute, and he had a space between his teeth, but otherwise attractive. And she's like, I don't know.
He's cute, and he makes himself available, and someone's going to say yes.
And that was his thing.
He just kind of was flirty to every reasonable girl, and it seemed like any time, someone would say yes.
And that was the one he liked back.
Yeah, he's got to be confident.
Numbers game.
If he talked in a weird way
that always hit his fucking upper teeth
or something because he was self-conscious
about his gap,
he would have been getting no pussy.
He's confident.
This is good.
This is an interesting topic
because I started thinking about it
and it's like, yeah,
I don't know anyone
who hasn't had a girlfriend or hasn't been able to get one.
And I've known some repugnant motherfuckers.
I talked about that.
Yeah, a lot of ugly women out there.
I talked about that one individual who had the deformities with his hands and had seven or eight fingers total.
And his face was all like – his face looked um it had been like hardened and twisted like it
was like oh there's a photoshop effect that does that yeah it was like that like hardened and then
twisted a little and then permanently in that like almost like a stroke victim but it was there was
something else going on there was a it was a deformity um big ass married he's got two or
three weird looking kids i mean that's a big fat bitch he got hooked up with i'm right but he's a couple the kid he passed it on to his kids i i don't know okay i i don't i just
mean the children aren't good looking not that they have i haven't seen those children they
could be freaks of nature i would just imagine so like i said the guy freaks me out i don't go
around like i haven't seen that guy in 10 years i I'm hoping the Photoshop spiral effect is on the recessive gene.
Oh, he's not a blood relative in any way.
He is a brother of someone who married in to a half-sibling.
Oh, I meant for his kids.
He's a blood relative.
Oh, yeah.
I don't have any of that twisted face syndrome.
Nope.
Totally clean in Kyle's family. Totally twisted face syndrome in my family.
A little diabetes, a little heart disease, no twisted face syndrome.
Does Scott still like his welding job, your cousin?
He bought a half-million-dollar farm and then decided he didn't like it.
And so now his dad is kind of saddled with that, sort of running that thing.
And Scott is now welding again.
So I'm not sure what he's up to over there
so he abandoned the crew he was going to be a farmer for his career yeah well i you know it's
it's it's sort of thing those things kind of i don't think he realized how much work he was
getting into what he bought um he bought a uh an egg farm and apparently you have to go in those
things every day and like collect fucking eggs like they're constantly like rapid fire shitting out eggs and
you have to be in there like twice a day maybe i don't think that's how they make eggs yeah just
right out of the chickens and they collect them they have to go in there collect all these eggs
and then they have to like oh this is a grade a egg it goes in the blue bushel and this is a grade
b egg it goes in the red bushel and it apparently was a ton of fucking work and maintenance
and I guess he was...
All for eggs. And somehow he didn't
do any research before he made
like a half million dollar expenditure.
And now his father's an
egg farmer? For the time
being, it seems.
But what can you parlay that into?
Like, is that land good land for crops
or something that he was going to do?
Or is this just a lot of land
where he's going to have a lot of chickens?
But he leased it back to,
he leased the, like, good part of the land
back to the guy he bought it from
for a nominal fee for some reason.
And so that guy is going to, like, grow,
still continue to grow crops there.
So, yeah.
Oh, that doesn't make,
well, I obviously don't know.
I don't own a farm.
Yeah, it seems like a real bad.
I've never accidentally purchased one for half a million.
No?
No.
I mean, it pays for itself.
You know, it makes its own payment.
There's a lot of gross money that gets made there,
but there's not a lot of profit that's coming off the top
to amount for the amount of hours that have to be put in,
as well as the maintenance and upkeep that's ongoing.
You know, like, it sounds like he really stepped in shit over there.
Without asking anybody
on my side of the family who might have
been able to advise him a little bit.
Yeah, I would think that there's
some farming expertise over
in your neck of the woods.
Or maybe just common sense.
You know?
That'd be like just going and buying a house
after like a six-hour looking trip.
Just being like, you know what?
I've seen as much as I need to.
You know, third time's the charm.
This house is great.
I'll take it.
Like, you just, why would you do that?
I'm actually thinking about getting a house.
Are you?
Yeah.
What are you looking for in a home?
I'm so green. you yeah oh what are you looking for in a home would you like it so do you like so would you like it a lot of land and maybe be out away from people or would
you rather have lots of facilities around you I'd probably rather have lots
of facilities around me like just in the you know not in the city but close
enough to the city I can do whatever I need to do. And I'm kind of centrally located, but I don't know. It's like looking around on all the internet sites and
realestate.com or whatever. Like it's, it's confusing. It's complicated. And it's like,
oh man, these are, this is a big decision. Like I really got to make sure I get this
shit right. Like, I'm not sure if I want to purchase something like, uh, like buy a town
home kind of thing or a condo to where I'm not responsible for maintenance and yet i'm still building equity
or if i want to buy an actual home but then if something happened or if i end up doing something
with work that takes me out of town a lot or if i ever had to move it would be like oh well fuck
like i kind of the town home thing is interesting i like i've had a few friends that that bought
town homes and or and or lived in
them one girl it was just her father had bought it and and now she gets a free house but another
guy was buying them and selling them over the course of several years at a profit it seemed
like he was always getting up into a nicer one somehow but and then one day i was like his name
was hanid he was from morocco um and uh he seemed like a real nice guy and i went to his house one
day to his condo to check this thing out.
I was like, wow, this is really spacious.
We go upstairs to the second level of this thing and he had six Middle Eastern guys in there
sitting in their weird Middle Eastern underwear.
You could smell their funky, interesting Middle Eastern BO.
It's different.
They were watching on television.
I'm not exactly sure what it was, but it was one of those things there's like a hundred thousand muslim parishioners all praying at the same time
and they were all watching like it was the oscars and they were about to find out if like leo was
about to get the award and there i am like just fucking 19 year old white dude like man
yeah y'all aren't the 9-11 kind, are you? That shit just happened.
That shit just happened.
Like, it is fresh on everyone's minds.
And I just remember going back to work and being like,
you know that whole, you see something, you say something thing?
Well, I'm saying something to you, Saul.
I was over at Hamid's house.
No, this is the Muslim team choice awards.
It was bizarre.
But yeah, I kind of like that idea of those things
and getting out on the maintenance.
You still pay for the maintenance, though.
There's usually a maintenance fee.
And mortgages don't go up, but maintenance fees do,
which is a thing to think about.
And it'll get done.
Yeah, it will get done.
I know a couple
people who own condos. The way
they've described how it works, at least in their situation,
is you pay an extra
$200 a month or $150
a month or some set in stone
fee of maintenance
whether or not you actually have to
cash in that month or not
on maintenance and then they just take care.
So it's like $1,200 or $1,400 a year. I 1200 or 1400 a year like if it was 200 a month though like i would rather do that thing where like
just just fucking slide 150 bucks a month into your own savings account be like ah that's for
when the ac explodes or that's for when you know there'll be groups in a townhouse like that like
that maybe the entire oh yeah needs to be replaced and you know that's why there should be a group
pool of money instead of like that makes sense that's cheaper yeah yeah that's why they got to
do it that way i hadn't considered the group thing she can't be like you know well we can't fix that
roof until you convince cheapo joe your neighbor that he you need to fix the roof it's like well
jesus like we need a roof it's really leaking on taylor's part so cheapo joe thinks the roof is okay you know even though he'll be next we can tell the roof is 22 years old yeah yeah so yeah we'll
see how that goes how long they just end up renting again even on the time you've been on
the show i want to say you've moved twice do you think you're moving less now um yeah i'm moving
less now i just like it the whole buying a house thing is such a real
commitment of like this is where you're going to be living for a while like i don't anticipate
wanting to move anywhere but it's still kind of an interesting decision of like yeah i've kind of
decided the next five whatever whatever years i'm going to be here so yeah we'll see how it goes i
may puss out or decide for some other reason that I should rent for another year or something It's just a nicer place or something
but my
Like it my needs are so low as a single man
Like I'm looking at all these things like on the real estate sites and just being like oh wow
This has like a lot of features and look how much room it has and then like I look around at my my possessions
And I'm like I got to get a lot more shit
Like man, I'm gonna people are gonna walk into my house and be like, oh, you're still moving in?
It's like, no, I've been here for like three months.
I just don't know why I need more than one bowl.
You know?
That kind of thing.
I was thinking about it.
I'm like, yeah, my kitchen table.
I got six chairs at that.
That's pretty big.
That'll be okay.
Oh, that's a huge living room.
Do I have to sell my two couches now and buy three couches?
Or buy one of those giant assembled ones that people have?
But they're always uncomfortable.
Those big just giant corner ones, you know?
Because the back corner area is always useless.
Because the person has to sit all the way back and have their feet up like a child.
Not hanging down to the floor.
You know what I'm talking about?
I got a sectional. I like it.
It's disassembled right now. It's that big ugly red one.
I like sectionals too.
We don't have...
We have one in one of the sunrooms.
In our living room, it's just a really...
Our couch is super long. I don't know.
Like 13 or 14 feet long.
It's an enormous couch.
Two people could lay on it.
You know how you lay on a couch and it it takes all the room no two people can lay with their heads on opposite sides and it's okay but uh but it's not i i don't even know but the
sectional i think of having is a turn it is connected whatever um i'm uh i'm about to restart
watching season six of Game of Thrones
have you guys done a restart
on that yet? I know Kyle you watch like the
entire series before every new season
right? Yeah I'm about to
start that I need to find a way
to get HBO I don't have HBO right now
oh that's right Chiz was telling
me to get it on Sling I need to do that
that's how I have it I have an HBO
login but I don't even know it.
I just can use it because there's a person.
I don't want to say his name because he doesn't know I'm using it.
But he logged in on my computer once.
And my HBO login that a fan gave me had worn out.
And I was like, ah, fuck.
So I just start choosing a random cable provider.
And it's like, login is this guy?
And I'm like, yeah. and it's saved in like uh
like my browser has it saved in its history so i don't it's like scrambled like i don't know the
password but i can use it i just like click okay and that's the situation i'm in right now
and i feel bad because he logged in on my computer i don't think he intended for me to keep logging in afterwards. No, he did not.
I don't think so either.
But it works.
And what's going to happen is you're going to get into that
thing where he's going to be like,
time for the Game of Thrones.
He's going to look left. He'll see his buddy
Dave. He's dressed up
as one of the characters. Look to the right.
Another guy's dressed up. They're all cosplaying
as the characters. They go to press play.
You have reached the maximum number
of viewers for this program. Please try
again later.
It's gonna be... Oh, I knew it was.
I knew it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that when you get free stuff
like, even though you're not
supposed to have it, but it's
always a little frustrating. You feel like
something was taken from you when your free thing was taken away like there have been times where i accidentally
get like magazine subscriptions that someone else ordered like for like because i guess people order
fucking magazines for like three years subscriptions and then i move into someone else's old place and
it's like oh i guess i just get guns and ammo and men's fitness now and then i just like keep
getting it and after like a few months like they stop coming you're like where the fuck is my men's fit
i didn't even buy that god damn it like that sucks cheap shit you know
can't keep me in guns and ammo yeah but yeah i started watching game of thrones but not
season six i like kicked it back a little it It's the season where Jamie Lannister
jumps in the pit to save Brienne from
a bear.
The Red Wedding happens in season
three or five.
Somewhere around three
and five.
I'm going to go back and watch everything, cram everything
and then I'll be 100%.
It's so hard to keep up. There's no way you're going to be able to finish
it in time. Maybe not.
You're talking to Kyle here.
This is so much content and it comes out
in like two weeks. It's an enormous amount.
There's six seasons out currently, right?
Yeah, that's like 60 hours.
60 hours. Yeah, that's
a lot. You could do that in two weeks.
Yeah, but that's all you would be doing.
Your whole life would be Game of thrones i would just
be just showering 40 hours a week
40 hours a week is just nine to five and two days off if kyle doesn't take any days off he
could watch like nine to three for two weeks and be set if you treat it like an actual job
if i had someone to watch it with i might actually be interested in that like if i had someone who
was like thirsting for game of thrones and every because then i really enjoy that if i've got
someone to watch with and i can it makes me be more attentive so that i can teach them as i go
i like that i've been yeah i like being a show tour guide. I've taken a Kyle show tour once.
It was Trailer Park Boys.
And it makes the show better.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
All of the girls that I watch TV shows with, I find out what their repertoire is.
You know, like, what have you seen?
What haven't you seen?
And then I go to the best show they've never seen.
And we watch that.
And I'm a tour guide for that.
It's always a good time.
Huh.
That could be your Tinder profile. It is my Tinder profile. seen and we watch that and i'm a tour guide for that it's always a good time huh that that could
be your tinder profile it is my tinder profile exactly what it says he just says let me be your
tour guide and it's you like winking right yeah it's like that here give me a little tongue am i
a clickbaiter will do so i uploaded a video today yes you are i saw it i saw... Am I a clickbaiter? We'll do. So, I uploaded a video today.
Yes, you are.
I saw it.
I saw the video.
It's clickbait.
Okay.
The title is...
What video?
I flew right into it.
It says...
I think it says I crashed my paramotor right into it.
I'm going to look.
I crashed my paramotor right into it with three exclamation points.
Because you use one or three.
Two is stupid.
And the thumbnail is me crashing right into the pole of my windsock.
And sure enough, in the video, like one and a half minutes in, I launch.
I don't know if I was target fixated or what, but I crashed right.
I ran toward it, and then I got maybe three feet in the air, smashed into it.
It comes with me, right?
So I flew like 20 feet, and I throw it away and kick it from the prop.
And I'm getting a lot of clickbait accusations.
And I'm like, man, the title is I crashed my paramotor right into it.
90 seconds into the video, I crashed my paramotor right into it.
And there's a thumbnail of me crashing my paramotor right
into it. How much do you need me
to line it up for you?
I think you're really slicing it thin there
and being very literal with this.
I don't think that if
you were trying to be
as accurate and descriptive
with as few words as possible, you would have used those same
words. If you were trying to describe to an
alien being what that video was going to be about,
you'd be like,
at one point, I
fly into a small aluminum rod
and it bumps me. It's fiberglass.
But when I picture you crashing
into something with the
paramotor, then I picture
you and your whole rig
hitting something at at least
15 miles per hour.
Oh, I'm going 25.
You got to hit.
But for there to be a crash, in my mind, I envision that once impact is made, we don't keep going.
Because when cars crash, it's like, and they're like, oh, fuck, we crashed.
And we all got to get out and dust ourselves off.
But this was more like when you hit a bug.
You wouldn't say, yeah, i crashed right into that june
bug there is a picture of the june bug in the thumbnail though so that's you know so that's it
i i oh did i gild the lily a little bit like yeah maybe i guess uh the lily but is that what that
means i um i think it does i don't think it means masturbation. I think it means you, you know, you like not stretch the truth, but, you know, decorate it a bit.
And I might have done that.
But I just I feel like clickbait is like, you know, Jenna Aniston naked.
Is that even a person?
What's her name?
Jennifer Aniston naked?
Question mark.
Exclamation point.
Her friends call her Jenna.
And then she's not naked like that's clickbait you know when the thumbnail
is not a thing that happens in the video yeah i see that sometimes like it's this perfect feminine
form like her butt or whatever and then you watch the video and that like doesn't even happen um
that's clickbait yeah that's what uh back in the day that's what philip i don't know i don't know
if he still does it that's what philip i don't know if he still does
it that's what philip defranco's thumbnails always were it was like uh like some news story
something something else and then just like a big ass and it's like anyway and i didn't watch a lot
of those videos but usually it didn't have anything to do with the ass but the ass but the
ass is a good way to get those views and so so, you know, more power to you. Yeah.
Are you a little worried you're going to lose the thumb?
No.
No?
No.
Taylor cut himself last night.
Two nights ago.
Two nights ago. Right across the thumbprint of his thumb.
And it looks pretty nasty.
At first, I thought you'd send me a picture of your penis.
Because it shows me a preview on my phone of a text message.
I was like, ah, who sent me a cock? And cock open it up and it's taylor's mangled thumb
and it there's just a cut right across the the pad and it looks painful i have it was like one
of the worst like there was i think like three years ago or so i did the same thing with like uh
with the knife on my pointer finger and i got myself pretty
bad and this one was worse definitely than that like all i've been doing is you know changing the
bandages like every four or five hours or so because i guess that's what you're supposed to do
um you know how cuts or wounds get itchy when they're healing hmm like
Yeah, I could definitely feel this itching more than like the regular little cuts
Which is obnoxious, but yeah, I've just been putting like hydrogen peroxide and neo sporn and shit
But if it's not is it in good does it hurt when like does it hurt to push is it red?
If I like if I like push at it, then it it hurts but like if I'm not
yeah
like if I like pick something up
with my right hand I'm not suddenly like oh
like I just you know
has it impacted your kettlebell routine I bet it has
yeah I wasn't able to work out
yesterday because I was thinking like
it's probably worth it
to because any kind of cut on a finger
you move so much that if you I didn't want it to be like, oh, yeah, well, it's not bleeding.
So it's sealing up.
I'll just go ahead anyway because I knew I would end up tearing it back open.
And you'd be like, oh, good.
I just wasted two days.
So, yeah, I'm going to give it another day or two.
And if it's not –
Maybe skip the week.
Yeah, maybe skip the week.
It's Tuesday, right?
Yeah, I won't end up doing Wednesday or Friday this week. Hopefully by Monday it's not skip the week yeah maybe skip the week yeah i won't end up doing wednesday or friday this week hopefully by monday it's good enough and if anything does seem troubling with
it this week i'm just gonna end up going to the going to the doctor because i was thinking i
always could i catastrophize things so bad in my head and i don't know why when i'll be like oh my
god like you're gonna get like it's gonna get infected you're gonna lose your fucking thumb
like it's all gonna come off and then like off like look at myself and be like, oh my god. Like, you're gonna get... Like, it's gonna get infected, and you're gonna lose your fucking thumb.
It's all gonna come off.
And then I'll have to, like, look at myself and be like,
are you high? What's wrong with you?
No, of course not.
What's the worst case scenario?
It starts to hurt, and you go to the doctor.
You have health insurance. You're an American.
You're a white American man. You're gonna be fine.
Alright.
They'll cut off a black man's thumb just to give it to me.
Oh, Jesus.
I'll shoot him dead in the street if he'd be!
That's what the police are for!
I'll be like that guy in Oz. I'll have one black thumb and I'll have to hide it when I'm, you know, around all my white supremacist friends.
You want me to get any rides?
They'll be like, no! Don't think so, darky!
Is there a guy in Oz with a black thumb?
There's something a little shady about that fella.
Well, the gums. He got the gums.
Oh.
Is that true? I don't remember anything about that.
And I can't trust you guys because you always try and trick me.
Yeah, we're not fucking with you.
The white supremacist gets a black man's gums.
This animated thing is really funny.
Let's watch it. It's a minute long.
Alright.
Taylor won't care for this at all, but you
will, maybe. I've probably seen
it before and didn't like it. I think
he's all...
We'll see. We'll see.
I'm ready? Set? Play.
Hey Nate, check it out.
This one's got a big backyard patio,
giant board in the
living room to throw knives into,
bike racks built into the wall,
metal bathtub for ice baths, big ass garage for jujitsu, garden in the front lawn.
You're into that, right?
You like gardening?
Yeah, I do.
Can we install, like, pegs on the wall to hold our nunchucks?
You can.
I'm not paying for that shit.
Sounds just like him. I haven't gotten a paycheck in ten months.
Hey, don't worry about it.
I'll pay for it.
Hey, where's Cesar gonna sleep?
I don't know. I told him we'd give him a room,
but he better not
come over too often.
We should, like, put pink sheets
and pink curtains in the room, you know,
and spray it with nasty perfume
and shit. Uh-huh. sheets and pink curtains in the room, you know, and spray it with nasty perfume and
shit.
Why do you want to do that?
Because, dude, to keep him away.
That motherfucker has a house.
He comes to our place and eats all the food.
He gets 10% of my paycheck, and what does he do?
He comes all up in here, opens the fridge, takes my food, you know what I mean?
I don't need that.
Yeah, Buck's using Gracie.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Alright, that was not great, but I've watched like
eight of these, and some were very good.
I like the Conor McGregor ones.
Those are funny. The guy who does the voice
for Conor McGregor is pretty accurate, but the guy there who does the voice for Conor McGregor is pretty accurate.
But the guy there that's doing Nate Diaz sounds just like Nate, I thought.
I've seen a bunch of these.
They always move too slow for me.
They really get into the minutia of MMA meta,
and they try to get a lot of inside jokes in that I don't get them sometimes.
So, I don't get them sometimes um so i don't know i i saw one with dana white earlier
and uh and uh and conor mcgregor and like rocky balboa and nate keeps coming in and like beating
conor mcgregor up like a lot of these were made before conor came back and like defeated nate so
like and so many of them nate's just like like compton slap he's like stacked in motherfucker
and like just knocks conor mcgregor out or whatever it's pretty good uh i i guess i'm falling for the hype because i'm starting to think that connor
could win this fight against mayweather of course he could win it like like um
i just talked about that for an hour so so we we know what they what each of them are but what we
don't know is like what they're gonna what kind of fight each of them is going to bring to the
table you know we always talk about oh well, well, Floyd's this defensive boxer.
Conor can't hit him.
What if he's not interested in doing that at all?
What if he has no respect for Conor McGregor and he comes out super-duper aggressive?
What if Conor gets in his head?
You think you can't because he's Mayweather, right?
This is not his first rodeo.
This is his 50th fight.
But Conor gets in everybody's head somehow.
Everybody, though, he got in Alvarez's head
he got in Aldo's head
he got in Mendes' head
Mayweather's on his Instagram
he's like $10,000
caption contest and you like caption
the gif of Conor getting choked the fuck out
I don't know
Mayweather might get into Conor's head
that's just as likely I think as vice versa that's never happened whether has the best defense in that
all he has to do is have a couple of his you know uh posse you know employees or whatever
keep him from listening to interviews because he can't read the articles that uh that mcgregor's
having put forward about him and so m McGregor's out there reading these articles
because you know that these guys are reading feverishly
all about the communities and things that talk about them
because they're narcissistic.
Maybe not narcissistic, because they're professional athletes
and they clearly have an ego that they're really working towards.
Like, I think that's a big advantage for Mayweather.
He can't read, and so he can't be intimidated by text.
And so McGregor's over there knowing that he can't throw a monster can at Mayweather.
So what's his trick?
You know?
This is coming from someone who's followed it not at all.
I used to think, because a month ago the talk was,
Conor might not even hit him once.
This is the best defensive fighter the world has ever seen.
Conor might get in there and literally just get outstruck like 200
to 0. And now,
I'm like, maybe this is old.
Maybe this is old. There is going to be a
point. Had finished anybody in like
6 or something like that? Yeah, has it fallen
two years? At some
point, things are just taken from you.
You don't know. No one notifies
you. You just like,
whatever. Seems sparring, though.
Yeah, you try to do a front-hand spring, and then you're like,
oh, well, I guess I've done my last one.
They're not here anymore.
Look at the betting odds, and the betting odds for, like,
picking the round that Conor McGregor will win in.
Like, if you're betting that Conor wins round,
the odds are the same for, like, the first nine rounds, I think.
But it's, like, 4,000 to 1.
So put $10 on Connor to win in every round.
And if the motherfucker wins in one of those rounds,
it's 4,000 to 1 or something like that.
It was absurd.
And it goes to 5,000 to 1 if you're betting on Connor to win the 10th, 11th, or 12th.
Really?
Are you going to put any on it?
I'm going to bet a couple different weird
like bets on the thing um i definitely there's definitely gonna be a bet that like connor
mcgregor knocks floyd mayweather out right but like i think the safe money is that the safe money that
i would actually pay something is maybe maybe connor going the distance because i'm not sure
that floyd can can knock connor out um because Conor is just a bigger guy.
And, you know, all of the other factors that we've laid out there for why Floyd could possibly lose also make it just as likely that Floyd can't knock out a much bigger opponent than Conor McGregor.
All right. Fighting purists are going to hate this scenario, even being entertained.
But let's say Conor wins, right?
How much does the UFC have to pay him for his next fight?
He wins. He gets $100 million, I've heard. It's $70 million, $80 million, $100 million, stuff like that. right how much does the ufc have to pay him for his next fight he wins he gets 100 million dollars
i've heard it's a 70 million 80 million 100 million stuff like that for fighting mayweather
does he go back to the ufc and fight for 10 or 15 million again he's saying he wants to um i don't
know what the numbers will be um but but at some point they you know they can't give him all the
goddamn money but they can afford to pay him more he He knows he's not going to get $50 million to fight someone in the fucking UFC.
It's just not going to happen.
But I bet if he takes...
Make it $25?
If a B beats Tony Ferguson, then they do this super fight in Russia.
They go to fucking Moscow.
First pay-per-view ever.
Coming out of Moscow.
He's fighting the Russian Eagle or whatever the hell.
I don't know.
The pay-per-view numbers might be so big that they can afford to give the man $20 million.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I like the scenario you're drawing up.
I wonder why Conor doesn't fight in Ireland.
It seems like you could have a huge gate.
Who's he going to fight, though?
You've got to have that first.
Ferguson. If Ferguson wins, I'm sure that's probably the deal right yeah i wouldn't be surprised if that's the
deal like if connor fall in ireland that would that would be big now the problem is the american
market it's real late you know no no one stays until 5 a.m. here to watch fights. Yeah, well then, you know, just do
it at like...
Yeah, maybe have the
main event take place at like
5 p.m. Dublin time.
Yeah.
Be an outdoor stadium that happens during
the daytime, right?
Get one of those giant soccer stadiums.
Was it Coker Stadium or something? I forget the name
of it, but where Connor wants to fight.
Fill the soccer stadium. Have it happen
from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
And then here, it's
only
midnight or something like that.
It'd be 10 p.m.
It's five hours difference.
I really like the idea of having
a UFC fight in a big...
Like in a football arena right
or a soccer stadium whatever like where the stands are completely full and then the grounds are
completely full and then right there at center stage like ali and fucking africa you've got
the fighters like that that would be sick why do they fight in africa do we know there's a reason. I don't remember.
The gorilla in Manila.
I just remember that Ali went in there
and totally won the people over
and he went super racist
against Frazier and touted him
as this big monkey that he was going to defeat
and all the children,
Ali, Boombayee, Ali, Boombayee,
the whole fucking...
They're in another fucking country across the world, but whenayah, Ali, Boombayah. Like, the whole fucking crowd. So by the time, they're in another fucking country across the world,
but when it's fight time, they're in Ali's home territory.
Like, the whole crowd is going, Ali, Boombayah, Ali, Boombayah.
Have you seen the movie Will Smith?
Imagine that.
Like, no, I haven't, but I should.
Oh, Will Smith kills.
Will Smith gets big and bulky and does the Kentucky accent.
You think he's on steroids?
Will Smith?
Yeah.
For that? Maybe. I don't know.
I've watched an actor...
Shucks, I can't remember it. It's ruining the story.
I was watching a guy who got
real strong. It was
a while back, an older role.
It was like, damn, that guy's got
gyno issues.
I think that's what they call it.
Yeah, they do.
Some steroids will give you...
They're called bitch tits, but the nipples just stick out.
It's got a little bit of girl boob
on a masculine
peck of a guy
with nipples that stick out.
And Fight Club.
Those big bitch tits swinging around.
I was just like, oh, it was Van Damme.
Van Damme, to me, was clearly on steroids in some of those roles.
Yeah, Van Damme, I believe, 100% was on steroids.
He was just too shredded.
He was just too shredded.
And there was so much mass on his small frame.
His quads, his thighs and everything were just so massive,
like big and just ripped, like no fat.
When he's doing those crazy, like, not even a split.
He goes into a split and then sits in it.
You know, like where
he de-elevates it or whatever.
I don't even know. He can still do that.
I know he can. That Volvo
commercial was sick a couple years ago. Yeah, that's the one.
I assume he can still do it because it was only
three or four years ago. Yeah, of course.
It seems like he's staying in shape.
I'm sure that guy took steroids.
Where are you from?
Just like Stallone and Schwarzenegger.
They call it doing a split.
And Taylor calls it
doing the splits.
I looked it up and it seems like
Taylor's way is way more common.
Have you ever heard
people say doing a split?
I always say doing a split. If we're going to do it in my backyard, then I'm doing a split? I always say doing a split.
If we're going to do it in my backyard, then I'm doing a split.
But if we're watching gymnastics at the Olympics, then clearly they're doing the splits.
Hmm.
I've always just said it, doing the splits.
Okay.
I think everyone knows what you're talking about.
Because saying like doing a split, that sounds like, is that a, like, are you going to be doing something flexible?
Are you doing like a gambling thing?
Like a split?
Are you doing, like, I don't know.
I've never heard it that way.
So it's wrong.
Well, now I know.
There you go.
All right.
Well, that's an hour.
Yep.
Yep.
Happy 4th of July, everyone.
Yeah.
I know.
I just want to do it.
I want to do a fitness roundtable.
Do you have a weight check-in, Taylor?
Do you know what current weight?
I weighed on Sunday morning.
Or I guess it was like Sunday afternoon.
And I was 205 again, which is pretty good considering I was at my grandma's house on saturday and so i ate just
an obscene amount of fried chicken and fried fish and you know homemade rolls just so much good
stuff so seeing that i hadn't regressed at all was like oh all right there's zone victory like
i dropped below 170 a couple days ago so i treated myself by ordering a delicious pecan pie it'll be
here tomorrow it'll be here tomorrow yeah i ordered this thing it's a
pecan pie in a jar it's a it's like a jar and you look at it it's got all this like gooey sugary
stuff and like roasted pecans and you just pour it in the pie filling and bake it like sounds good
i i think i'm just there's no world in which i weigh 170 like right like that seems really
really light to me and taylor sometimes talks about waist sizes. He's like, I have those 36s. They're like my fat pants. And
dude, if I were 34, I have visible abs. I wear 36 typically. And if I, a 34 on me is, it's pretty
thin. And, uh, I don't think I could fit into 34 right now. I'm at 202. So I'm down 18 pounds.
And, uh, yeah, but I got a lot of compliments on my last video.
I guess I hadn't been looking at the camera and people could see a difference because it was like a time gap.
Nice.
Good for you.
Yeah, and I've been reliable.
I took, I think, two workouts off for the kettlebells because I was sick.
It was like two weeks ago.
But I'm back at it, crushing it.
So, yeah.
Nice.
Progress.
Just slow and steady, marching along uh i oh and
there's one last like if you ever had a job where you clock watch a little bit like maybe you worked
in retail or something and like you look at the clock and it's like 250 and you're like oh it's
almost three then you look at it later and it's three then you look at it later it's 3 10 and
you're still like oh my god it's been three o'clock for 20 minutes now the time is frozen this sucks that's kind of where
my weight is when i was at 205 i was like i'm about to crack 200 you know it's it's right there
and uh i had a little too high yourself meant that i had lost 15 pounds that was my halfway point like
i really felt like i was doing something then 20 204 happens, 203 happens, 202 happens.
And it's like, oh, my God.
Like, I've been waiting to crack 200 for a long time now.
I thought I was close.
And I think it was two or three weeks ago.
And now I'm at 202.
And I'm just like, eh, you know.
I've been trying to.
I look forward to my weight starting with one.
Time for a colonic
Stay the course
Just like on the old fighter
I do not think
What if you did go get the colonic
And you were 192
You'd be like
I was so full of shit this whole time
I was going to make that joke
Yeah I also try to do
Like an honest weighing Because I could weigh 199 tomorrow, right?
All I need to do is do some cardio in the sun.
I'll drop three pounds of water and I'll weigh 199.
But no, I need them to be honest, wake up, whatever you were that morning, that's your weight.
You know, because I'm not looking –
Do you weigh before or after the shower though?
Because like I weigh after the shower, after I'm as light as i'm gonna get i've i've i've i've pooped i've peed i've like brushed
my mouth out and like like any any anything that was hanging on to me even even into like microbes
they've been shed like like everything i've exfoliated that top layer of skin it's gone
like so i wait before the shower usually after poop before shower but sometimes what will happen
is i'll like it hasn't been recently i've been solid but i'll be like 204 and this is a time
when i'm expecting to wait 203 something so i'm gonna shower up i'm gonna try and lose that two
tenths of a pound so that the scale because i ignore tents you I shower. So now I shower, you know, whatever.
Usually I can lose a tenth or something in that shower, hop on again and be like,
yeah, I haven't regressed.
I'm the same weight as yesterday.
Because you don't lose in a straight line.
You know, you might be two, a three, two, a three, two, a two, two, a three,
two, a two, two, two.
And now you're like solid in the two.
I don't wake up anymore wondering if I'll be 2 again.
I'm wondering if I hit 1.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I'm glad we're all keeping up with this
unlike some people out there.
Let's end the show.
I want to know about this person.
Hey!
PKM 151.