Painkiller Already - PKN #157

Episode Date: August 31, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

We're live! Painkiller Nearly, episode 157. Game of Thrones. Probably the best episode they've ever made. It was probably the best. It's top three for sure. The first time the dragon came down and saved the Khaleesi in the fighting pits of Meereen or whatever, that was pretty fucking epic. Battle of the Bastards was so satisfying. You finally, some people got their comeuppance.

You had so much epic shit. You had giants battling it out. It was crazy. And it's still probably the greatest, like, Swords and Shields battle ever put to film. But, man. I want to talk about that. So, you know, the Game of Thrones scenes tend not to have a lot of aerial shots. They don't look like Lord of the Rings battles.

They're more like cameraman right in the mix of it getting bumped by horses and stuff and at first i thought that was just an artistic decision i know i told you guys this before but i found out it's like an osha issue like they don't have insurance or something to let them fly drones over all the actors so that's why the cameras tend to be shoulder level for game of thrones hey it was on the internet there's no arguing that no but it was like where do they film it uh all over right like checklist or something i don't even know but uh but yeah apparently that's that's a big part of the reason why you see very few overhead battle shots there because uh they don't have the um i don't know the rights the

equipment the insurance whatever it is i saw it in a behind the scenes thing oh i didn't know that but yeah to your point about the battle of the bastards that because a lot of those battles where they're you're right in there really really suck like the only thing that made the battles in braveheart for example palatable is that i saw them for the first time when I was 12 or whatever it was. But if you go back and you watch Braveheart, good movie, but you watch those battle scenes and it's just some guy in the middle of a group of men just shaking the camera and moving it around. And it's meant to be so fast moving that you disorient yourself and you kind of just get lost in, like, oh, the blur of battle, the fog of war. But this is way, way better than that it tracks the same guy you watch two different like swords come down and he dodges them and it's like

oh that's pretty dope like he just did that like if you like in real but in real battle if you miss one of those swords you're dead and so of course he was doing this kind of shit all the time dipping and diving and dodging but uh yeah i thought this most recent episode as far as the action scenes since we're just talking about the action scene for now with the ice people and the White Walkers and the dragons, that was a little below Battle of the Bastards for me. Because I think Battle of the Bastards was better orchestrated, but maybe you guys disagree. Sometimes when I see it, I'm like, I think that's the best episode of Game of Thrones ever. Can that be? Or am I just suffering from, I don't know what it would be called.

A recency bias. I was just going to say recency don't know what to be called. A recency bias. I was just going to say recency bias. Yeah. Am I suffering from a recency bias? And I think back and I'm like, well, which one would be better? Right? I liked Battle of the Bastards, but I thought there were lots of slow parts that pulled it down. In my mind, Battle of the Bastards was just a very good fight scene combined with kind of a satisfying end to Ramsey.

And that's it. Whereas this, like there was, I don't know. I liked it more. fight scene combined with kind of a satisfying end to Ramsey and that's it right whereas this like there was I don't know I liked it more I as I think it through like maybe I am suffering from a recency bias but I like this more I thought there was better character development I I liked John going on I liked all of it I liked all of it so much it was really there was a lot of it's definitely not that one trounces the other one they're're both very good. There was a lot of fan service in this episode, which I felt could have been better. Is that bad? Yeah. It's bad

when you just, like, take... It's like eating a dinner of brownies. Is that bad? Yeah. It's like eating a dinner of brownies. At the end of it, your teeth hurt a little bit, and your tummy hurts because you didn't get any meat and potatoes. So, like, that whole time when they were

walking, every conversation they had when they were walking was epic. Because you've got these characters like who normally don't discourse with one another talking about important shit. There was no talk about the weather or oh it's very cold isn't it? No, none of that shit. You've got

Jon talking to Jorah about the family sword. So important. Such an interesting scene. Because you want to know, what does Jorah think when he sees his daddy's sword on this guy's hip and he's carved a new pummel on it? He doesn't know that his dad carved that pummel. Maybe he thinks that's a sign of disrespect that Jon is showing.

So that's a huge moment when he's like, you know, I didn't do this to your sword. Your dad did it. And then he gave it to me, but you should maybe have it back. And he's like, oh, I didn't even request it. Yeah, yeah. So that was big. And then you got Tormund talking to the hound about whether or not Tormund likes dick or not.

And he's like, dick? He's like, cock. Oh, no, I like pussy. I love that whole scene. And it comes up, Brienne comes up. Oh, that was one of the highlights in dialogue. It's like, chaos is a ladder him talking about brianne like those that dialogue for me was awesome and and i wish i could remember the lines like kyle does but he's like you know oh yeah i got a woman back at

home oh you're with her well not really with her he's like you know does she look at you mean like she wants to kill you so you do know her and. And it was just like, yeah, it was great. Yeah, that whole thing was good. But the thing is, like, here's where that should have been. It's the pacing. And I'm not talking about the fast forward mode. I'm okay with that at this point, I suppose, because I don't have any other choice. But it's more about the distribution.

It's how they sort out the courses of the meal. Like, lots of brownies in one spot. Here's what I would have liked a little bit better. When they were stuck on that rock in the middle of the lake, not a lot happened there. They could have taken one of those conversations that occurred while they were walking and nothing was happening, throw that at nighttime

on the island in the middle of the lake because they would have had to spend a day and a half, two days there for the Raven to make its way and then the Khaleesi to make it back. Show us that a little bit of time is passing. The audience appreciates that so much when you know, even if it's just a 30-second scene that lets you know that, oh, shit, a day and a half have passed. They're thinking about eating that burned red shirt guy over there whose name never

comes up. I like just about everything about it. When they're out there on that. That's a good idea. I think Tormund maybe should have died. I hate to say it because he's one of my favorite characters but when he was getting drug into the ice i was like my heart's pounding and i'm like ah and then they pull him out i'm like oh man if they had if he had died i think that that that whole thing would have been really a lot more i thought he was gonna die i thought i thought that made

sense as a way for john to kind of fully gain control of the wildlings and they'd finally be like well torment trusted you and we have no option so we're with john snow too now and it'd be another uniting effort here's what i would have liked to have seen and but i wouldn't like that to be the way torment does because that's kind of a bitchy death here's what i would have liked to have seen. What if, like, Tormund challenges the Night King? Like, what if he's, like, talking shit to the Night King, and the Night King's like, all right, everybody step aside.

Big man wants to fight. And the Night King steps down with his ice spear or whatever, and he and Tormund have a fight where Tormund is getting the worst of it, big time. It's clear from this fight that, like, oh, shit, like, we're not even equipped for this. But just as Tormund's about to die, he throws one of those dragon stone daggers into the Ice King's belly, and everybody's like, we got him!

And then the Ice King's like, fuck you, pulls it out and speaks for the first time. Like, I don't know, he drops, like, an Hasta La Vista baby level, like, one't know he drops like a hasta la vista baby level like One liner and like destroys Tormund right there time for you to chill Like Jon Snow all the main characters are like oh shit We don't even know how to kill this guy. Because one of the things I like when there's

little tidbits for us is like, if you look closely, at first I was like, why doesn't Jorah have a sword? Where's Jorah's sword? And then I realized that Jorah and Tormund each have our double fisting dragonglass weapons. Tormund has a hatchet in one hand and a blade in the other.

And they're fucking machine gunning through the dead That's why they're able to survive for so long about on the rock They're one hit killing these things with these magic weapons everybody in the crowd has a magic we all know from Nazi zombies How useful that is it's to kill? Insta kill so it's uh I like that a lot. I love the fucking fire swords all I have a thing I want to throw it so i got this on the internet and it was it's one of those observations that i didn't really make myself but liked afterwards so there's of course there's the night king and then there's white walkers and then

there's whites white walkers are the long-haired kind of um lieutenants and you know underneath the king and then whites are the mindless zombies to make a mindless zombie you just kind of um lieutenants and you know underneath the king and then whites are the mindless zombies to make a mindless zombie you just kind of raise them or they become them like walking dead style after you kill them and suddenly they just sort of come to life to make a white walker you touch like you touch a baby and then they grow up as a white walker well the thing is when they pulled the dragon out he didn't become a white like he touched his face and did the white walker well the thing is when they pulled the dragon out he didn't become a white like he touched his face and did the white walker thing like somehow the dragon could possibly be more than just like the polar bear or whatever that he could be like a lieutenant or something

higher because it was the face touch conversion to the blue eyes not just a you know general dead dude how would the end result. How would the end result, but how would the end result differ, I guess? Because as I look, what I think an ice dragon is going to be able to do, it's going to be sentient enough. It's not going to be like coming up with like battle plans on its own

because Khaleesi's dragons don't really do that. They just obey orders. So I expect it to be like an RC, ice breathing death machine that I just got to believe. believe the night he's gonna ride that motherfucker he's gonna ride that motherfucker 100 next episode yeah i think he rides it i don't i haven't seen any teasers any spoilers anything like that but just my own like the way this should go down if you're making a fucking show you know like i made this i made the guess weeks ago that like

yeah eventually dragons are just gonna to rape the shit out of oceans of whites. Of course they are. That's what everybody wants to see. Why would they deny us that when it's so easy to do? You're right, but it turns out that's a dangerous occupation. Dragons last about three minutes doing that. If the Olympic spear thrower from Iceland

is around, you're absolutely fucking right. That dude was... Did you see the little Reddit gif where like, they add the captions and he's like, no way you can get him twice, that was totally luck. He's like, what are you doing, hailing Hitler? Like, no man, I'm Amish. Shriek!

I think the new dragon is gonna shoot like, a giant ice beam. Yeah. And that'll be pretty cool because he's gonna freeze a whole line of screaming, you know, ill-strategized Dothraki as they're hooping and hollering in the battle. It's gonna be

the exact antithesis of Daenerys' dragon. It's just gonna be a and they're all gonna be frozen horses and shit. It's gonna be really cool. It's gonna be like an X-Men's power. My favorite part of that whole episode was exactly, I what uh what do you kind of been alluding to it where you're like oh daenerys has to get nerfed the dragons are too powerful and i think i said for a while correct me if i'm wrong that we're gonna get up there and we're gonna see that these

white walkers are more hardcore than we think they are at the moment they're not just raising people i told you white walkers take out dragons. They do. And clearly, not even... What I liked about it is the guy, he didn't look at it like the Night King. He didn't go like, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. God damn it. We've totally misgaged

our position here, guys. He just looked over at it and he was like, well, my word, it has been a Winter War II, hasn't it, guys? All right. Can I get that? You got the dragon spear? It wouldn't take any longer to aim.

Who's got the dragon spears? Yeah, she's got the dragon spear. Oh, we made tens of thousands of them because we've had nothing but time. Oh, you want some more? Shake, shake, shake, shake. Dude, that was the best. Just seeing how lackadaisical and not give a fuck. And just seeing Danny's face of like,

but that's the thing that makes people listen to me! Without that, I'm just a bad leader! Oh, I like that. I like that a good bit. Another fan theory. I don't know if it's true, but Daenerys will never have another child. Only blood pays for blood.

That was like the thing, right? Well, now her kid died died does that mean she's fertile or her john do for one kid i don't think so i mean i think you're right too but it was a fan there i was like oh did blood just pay for blood do we have i think being barren is like her cross to bear of sorts and so i don't think she's gonna get a kid in the end i think that's part of her that if if she could have a child no woman on the planet is going to be like, I have three children and they're all winged lizards with very small brains, but they listen.

And then you have a human baby and you're not immediately like, okay, I admit I was going crazy with the whole fur baby thing. They're not actually my children. This is my child. Like, you need to keep her from having a real biological child. Otherwise, the whole fascination with the dragonkin doesn't make any sense. So I don't think she will have a a child i don't know if she'll have a child i just

think it's highly unlikely um and they got so much other shit to do like if you told me there were three more seasons of game of thrones i'd be like oh yeah oh yeah there'll be a there'll be a little john coming along soon a little incestuous sharing like like like 13 13.5 on the incest rating meter john will come along. He'll have like a little hand or like a fucked up nose or something. I'm not there! I'm not there!

He's just fucked. When Jon learns his lineage, right? And he learns that he's a Targaryen. That's what he is, right? Is he going to put a third pummel on that sword or is he's going to keep it stark oh i hope he comes out with like a fuck that see i love it and stick with me here i love it in the movies when the hero finally gets his gear like it like i like daredevil on netflix he's the only

hero on netflix i enjoy fuck the defenders that all of them except for daredevil um he's still not daredevil yet he has not assumed his final form he's still the devil of hell's kitchen or whatever so i would love it love it love it if we get to like the very end or the you know two episodes from the end wherever the shit really hits the fan and john shows up with like some fucking targaryen armor like his daddy had with like the rubies and like fucking shining and shit and like he did like does one of these and he realized he's been dying his hair black since he was a child

and it's just it's just silvery whatever his eyes are purple yeah yeah there's violet eyes and the blonde hair and everything none of that shit's gonna happen though um I would love it if he had like some some took on some Targaryen features sure I'd love that the armor the everything I like the Dany line about, he's too small for me. And Peter Dinklage is just like, motherfucker.

Like, bitch, you're 5'2", and I'm 4'2". And so I'm not liking any of this lip. That's got to be insulting. She's like every cunt on Tinder. I think I'm the only one who didn't. You know I'm a dwarf, right? Like an asshole. I think I was the only one who was super, super duper bothered by the fact that the Khaleesi had yet to see Jon Snow's scars.

I can't think of times when that's happened before in movies and TV shows. But sometimes when the good guy has done some really heroic, hardcore shit, but he's too humble or, for whatever reason, doesn't tell everyone. He doesn't go around going like Jesus Christ did, for example. Just everywhere he goes, oh yeah, I'm the son of God! Like Dan Ari does. Yeah, Dan Ari does everywhere.

Jon is the opposite of that. He's so humble. He's so low-key with it. Even when Davos announces him, this is Jon Snow. He's like,, he's so like low-key with it, you know? Like even when Davos announces him, this is Jon Snow. Like what the fuck? So I was really happy she saw the scars. If you went out to dinner with a big group of people in Daenerys Targaryen,

like as they were dropping the check off, they would make her announce like, and here to Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, payer of checks and getter of appetizers. I present to you the full check. Meanwhile, it seems like Jon Snow, like, it would be kind of the thing where he'd stand up to leave and people would be like, oh, did somebody pay for this? Somebody paid? I suppose so, yeah.

And then they just get up and leave. I'd much rather hang out with Jon snow at dinner than is the guy who gets up excuses himself to the bathroom and pays the whole bill without saying a fucking word denarius mention a thing to him i don't want it to go to my head you know denarius is the one who like like starts spilling out gold coins onto the table will this suffice how many gold dragons i'm a notoriously good tipper yeah oh you know what i liked is uh almost like a punishment for gendry for not getting jacked and not you know rowing the way he should have right as the battle is about to start they're like gendry you run off run off and tell someone what the issue is here and like they stole his hammer from him

because he would have been too slow otherwise but that's what you get gendry that's what someone said it i don't know if it was kyle or chiz but they're like it was you kyle's like yeah clearly jendry's been working on cardio all this time and it paid off i told taylor i'm like taylor you're much bigger than fucking jendry. I'm pretty sure you can whip Gendry's ass. First of all, Gendry's 5'8", right? 5'9", 5'10". Tops. Actors are often short. He's just, no way that guy can bench more than 200 pounds. He just doesn't look like

he has it. But, he didn't need to. He needed to be able to run 20 fucking miles in the snow. That was his skill. That was what he needed to do. That's what it's all been about for this guy. They needed to send him on the running errand because otherwise he dies, right? There's no way that you can send

Gendry onto that island and then get him back again and the audience not go, really? They got Thoros of Myr, the fucking Red Priest of Dawn or whatever the fuck he was. Well, the polar bear got him and then he succumbed to his wounds or whatever like a bitch.

At the end of the day though, Gendry if you put two dragon glass daggers in the hound's hands, he probably could have survived another 20 minutes. Like the whole time being angry I just want some pig's feet at the end of the day. And he's up there fucking fighting

but you give Gendry that, no chance. You need at least a little bit of precision time which that's another thing like the height continuity of this show it's easy to forget how much bigger the hound is than pretty much every actor on this show until you see him and like torment there and you're just like jesus fuck like that guy's like seven inches taller than torment yeah and torment is taller than Tormund and Tormund is taller than Brienne and Brienne is taller than Jaime by a little bit So where where's Tyrion in all this? Like like two and a half Tyrion's at least to make it. Oh, yeah, absolutely

I'm super little magnificent seven is still together Like I don't mind that Thoros died because if nobody died in that whole thing it would have been stupid. It's borderline stupid that more people didn't die. I think it's good that more people didn't die because it was always a Game of Thrones cliche that people die. They defied expectations by having people live

which is the opposite of everything else. I haven't been too upset by the timing of it but this is the one timing aspect that was stupid and horrible. Where they're on this rock. They send a guy running 20 miles, which takes in and of itself a day. A day. At least a day.

This is assuming that Gendry had been practicing snow sprinting in between his rowing. Four hours. I sincerely doubt it. It would take him so long. Four hours is a good marathon time, and Gendry looks fit. I'm going to say eight hours, because he's in the snow, and he's been there once. He's probably going to get lost.

Of course, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's going to take eight, 10, 12 hours. And then you assume that it's the fastest raven in history. Send Speedy. You know, we don't have time for the rest. And they send that raven. They had one peregrine falcon on, like, lon that raven and they had one peregrine falcon on like loners they send that and apparently like the raven master is like

reading it with binoculars from a distance like hurry we have to tell you know danny of this message and then before the dragons are even fed they're fucking on the way back like like this is a week long thing going like they're the top of the kingdom to the very no the higher than the top of the kingdom to the bottom of the kingdom i see to willingly suspend his disbelief on travel times like if you tell me the guy ran 20 miles they sent a raven and she came back with the dragons on time i'd say thank goodness they were quickies you know i'm i am'm fine with that. I don't have a good grip on the map. Gur Martin himself

says he intentionally didn't lay out how far apart these things were. Dude, they went sailing in one episode. They could have got a raven in an episode. I don't know. I don't care about that.

I'm trying to see. I'm happy that the story is progressing and that they're doing it Last Kingdom style. Here was another one of my issues. All right. So at the end of before this episode aired, at the end of the previous episode, we saw the Magnificent Seven go through those gates. And there was one, two, three, four, five, six, seven of those motherfuckers. Then we actually get out there and there's like 10 or 15 depending on how many people we need to die all right it's varying constantly every shot there's a different amount of people they grow an extra guy did the mat did i i the hound must be

have like one guy up under his cloak oh that's my cloak he stays in the air like like where did that guy come from okay i understand i love that there was a dothraki guy there because like why wouldn't denaris send one of her like many thousands of screamers with the with the crew he's there with his dothraki spirit clearly trying to alpha male that group by leading the league all and all of them are too badass to even care they're like like, look at him out front. Never been to a wall he has. I remember my first time in the snow.

And of course, they're like, you didn't think this was good shirt weather, did you? The bears have blue eyes. They'd have recommended pants. So that motherfucker immediately gets eaten. They don't even show his body. He just gets turned to a spl his body he just gets turned to a splatter right literally turned to a splatter then they they literally then there's a guy who falls off the cliff i guess i'm gonna call it a cliff the steep part of the little island in the middle of the lake he falls off and gets like eviscerated like blood splatters everywhere and he becomes a splatter and i think there was a third red shirt and red shirts for those for the uninitiated back in the original star trek series, everybody's got a different color uniform.

And the expendable guys, when you go down to a planet that you've never been to before, and somebody's going to sniff a flower, and that flower's going to shoot like a dart into someone's throat and kill them instantly, that's a red shirt, because he's literally wearing a red shirt. And you knew. Everybody goes down. It's the Captain. It's Bones. It's Spock. It's Scotty. Some dude with a red shirt and you knew everybody goes down it's the captain it's bones it's uh spock it's scotty and some dude with the red shirt dave who repeated oh oh pete's dead

oh dave's dying dave's dead too like those are the red shirts and that's what they did to us and that ain't game of thrones style you you you burn your real cards there are no red shirts and i didn't love that that's why i'm saying would have rather had torment die than one of these red shirt guys die it would have been a little bit heavy but i didn't notice like i to what you were saying with those red shirt guys i didn't know that that saying about what a red shirt was that's good to know but there was one time at one point when i was watching it where it showed you know of course the hound and torment and the gang all talking and then it showed like a know, of course, the Hound and Tormund and the gang all talking. And then it showed, like, a quick shot for, like, three seconds of, like, Beric Dondarrion.

And then just some guy in a red-tinted, like, helmet, like a leather bracer thing. And, like, it didn't register with me. I'm like, who the fuck is that? Like, who is that guy? Am I really pulling, you know, just an old man thing and forgetting who this character is? And then, no, I realized, oh, no, that guy, he's going to get attacked. He's going to be, you know, polar bear, you know,

second breakfast after that first guy. So overall, I thought it was a really good episode. I did not like, I didn't like the time frame thing more than anything, even more than the red shirt thing, just because, like, the time frame thing almost struck me as if you're watching a World War II movie and you're pinned down, and it's like, Sarge, we gotta call in air support,

take out that Tiger tank. He's like, all right, air support, we need you to take out that Tiger tank. Oh, thank you so much. Well done. Good shot. Good shot. Good shooting, Tex.

Let's pack it up. And it's like, no, it's 1941. We got a ways to go. Exactly. See you back at my base. Or whatever the fuck. It's like, no, this went way too fast. That didn't make sense. There should have been at least two or three more deaths.

And if they were going to make any that made sense, it should have been Beric. Or not Beric. It should have been Beric in the service of saving John and then Tormund. That whole scene could have been saved. And I'll tell you how. You take the whole talk about Brienne between Tormund and the Hound.

And you put it on that island. And you have Jon spout up about Ygritte. And then you have Jorah mention something about the Khaleesi. And then Jon's like, she is pretty hot. And then you maybe have a little tension between Jorah and Jon talking about how fucking hot she is or something. And they're all like, I've never seen a dragon queen's titties. You've seen them, Jorah.

And he's like, oh, I've seen them a few times. Every night when I close my eyes. Yeah, imagine that scene. And then that scene gives you a little bit of time passing because it's nighttime. We're all gathered around the fire that is Thoros, because they burned his body. I like that they burned his body. They had to.

They had to, exactly. And I've been going back and watching, there's a YouTube channel that follows individual characters from beginning of story to the end, just focusing on one character. So I really enjoy that. There's one about Qyburn, Cersei's, like, mad scientist of a maester. And, you know, you go all the way back to Harrenhal when Roose Bolton and Robb Stark

rescue him for the first time, and then all the way, fast forward to now, and you can really, like, pick up any fragments that you miss from doing that. I love the episode. It was top tier. It's top three for sure. It might be the best ever.

It really was excellent. And we're just picking it little, uh, little scabs at it. I, yeah, I don't tend to dwell on like little timing things or whatever. I just think that one blew my mind.

Can I think of one that's better? It might be the best. It might be the best episode of the best show ever made i mean it was uh what part did you guys like or what i guess really stuck out because obviously everybody's big thing is going to be that battle and the dragon and all that what else about the episode really stuck out to you was like this is really really good one it was the bear um and that's not putting on spot i i agree with the band i i liked um torment was that his name the wildling redhead dude and uh and um clinging on clinging the hounds talking i i liked their conversation a ton it's amazing i follow the show at all by fucking up on the name

uh cligane is what i was going for and um um anyway i don't know the whole thing was magic i want to watch it again i i feel like i just walked away with a really impressive experience but when pressed for details as to why it was so great like you know danny's conversation with john at the end when he was willing to bend the knee and such you know it's like yeah i hope it was a good moment. Tormund's talked about Mance Rayder. He's like, how many people died

for his pride? And that totally stuck in John's head. Then you got, I mean, lots of fan service, right? You got Uncle Benjen riding in.

Get out of here! And then as soon as that horse rode away, I bet he was like, oh shit, I have plenty of time. Fuck! You know,

horses can take two people huh this is like the old titanic turn back now i look like an idiot this is the path i've chose yes running to try to get away like he's all right here we go his when he came out of nowhere spinning that fucking thing like a marvel character very cool love that didn't know what was gonna happen there i you know he's frozen solid how's he gonna make it everyone acts like one character died two died and some red shirts yeah i don't care about uncle ginger he was technically already dead his heart was no longer beating. He'd been living in that quasi-dead slash alive world. He had to die, and this was his best way of dying.

If he showed up an hour earlier, though, right? If he could have come up behind the White Walkers and choked out the Night King with that chain, that probably would have been more helpful, Benjen, just saying, where were you? I hear fanservice a lot, as if it's an insult, but I think I like fan service. I think I like shows that tell the story, that give us what we want.

Everybody wants a Clegane Bowl, right? What do you mean by fan service, just so I understand? I've been reading it on the internet a lot. I don't know if Kyle has too, but they're giving fans what they want, and somehow that's a negative. When you're playing to the fans rather than playing to the honesty of the narrative that you've been telling to us for 70 fucking hours so far. That kind of irks me. It's like, nah, that's not the show I've been watching.

It's not the show where you just, like, give me everything I want and just, like, it's like the writers have been reading Reddit comments. Like, it feels good, but it's a dinner of brownies to me at some point. I just wish it were spread out more, all these treats. It seems like they're just cramming a dinner of brownies to me at some point. I just wish it were spread out more, all these treats. It seems like they're just cramming a lot of brownies down our throat this episode. I need it a little more spread out. You can tell because they have so many good ideas for conversation and so many little tidbits

like the Tormund and the Hound thing. It's so good, but in all of their heads, and of course everybody else's heads, we know this shit's wrapping up. And so they're having to take the play you know probably a remaining four seasons worth of like like rewarding build-up and whatnot and stuff that's like that that conversation that was so truncated in this episode it could have been three four minutes longer if you had more seasons and whatnot and now they're just they're being forced to put it into such a tight package that it seems

like oh i'm just eating gumdrop after gumdrop. Like I'm not earning these big heaps, you know? If the show was made by perfect people, then somewhere back in season three it would have been sped up a little, and somewhere here in season seven it could be slowed down a little to where every episode was great. But, you know, we are where we are, and I don't mind them. I don't mind these playoff games being better than regular games i like the the bear was so big for me uh because i remember very specifically

like that was one of the coolest moments in the books is uh when they're at the fist of the first man and they're retreating from the fist and then here comes the bear it falls upon them and i don't remember the guy's name but it's like whoever the best remaining swordsman in the night's watch was like they're like oh and then jimmy joe stepped forward and his steel flashed like silver slicing and dicing the bear from stem to stern and carving a a grievous wound which nothing could survive and then bearing it to the hilt into the heart of the icy bear and then the bear turned upon him and ripped his head from his body and roared. And it was just like, oh my God,

the best of them just like sliced and diced this bear expertly, like just carved it up like a turkey. And then the bear just cut him down. And everybody watches it. And they're just like, oh, what will we do? So these bears were built up as so hardcore that I was like, man, if they ever put that bear on screen, I'm going to love it. And that bear showed up and it was every bit as badass as they described it

it took the whole fucking group if they'd if they'd had three bears game over cliggain was terrified worthless piece of shit saw the fire that was a fire bear fire bear that was a fire bear like see this is what i think, if you put me in charge, you don't even have to make me a White Walker. Just let me, if they hired me on as a tactical consultant, and they were like, all right, Taylor, so we're thinking about attacking here, and what are you going to do, Mr. Night King? Well, we're just going to kind of throw everything we have at them.

It's just going to be a big wave. Oh, no, no, no, no. How many bears do you have? You have 3,000 bears. Where are they? They're just scattered about? No, no, no, no. Send in one force of 3,000 bears and this is over. I don't think you

understand who you're up against. Why are you riding the bears? The horses you're riding, they're all sickly looking. You should all be riding a bear. Everyone, hop on a bear. Why are you riding herbivores? Bring the giants forward.

Each giant, take a bear in your hand. Yes, yes. No, no. A bear in each hand. Now you punch the bears. Or you know what you do? Is you send like a raiding party to where eventually the people in the north will be like,

you know what I've noticed is not a lot of bear attacks. There used to be a lot of them. And then they realize over time, like the way walkers have been stealing all the bears, taking them up there, turning them into monsters. We're Scottish.

This close to the wall. You'll do this. But all these, there's still a lot of bears, all of our animals. You don't get this analysis on nerd writer we need bears with giants i would do i would i would i would make sure that we were all organized send in the bears first but it would be a month-long process of we're going to send raiding parties we're going to take all the most dangerous animals why are we not limiting ourselves why are we limiting ourselves to land here why not see about sea beasts uh these these are possibilities these

we know that there's a kraken out there you know that maybe one well-placed ha can can turn it who knows i that's why i'm a consultant just bring me on i see how i can help you're an idea man yeah i'd love an ice cracker big picture guy i hope we get some explanation about the the religions in this thing at some point. They talk about the Lord of Light constantly, and to a lesser extent the Drowned God and the Seven and all that stuff. I want to know if it's all one guy, or if there's a Mount Olympus up there and these guys are all duking it out. What's going on?

I'd like a little glimpse into that. You want to give me some fan service? That's what I'm hungry for. I think it's all the Lord of Light. I think it's all one thing. The nice thing about the Lord of Light is he proves he's real. A lot of these other guys don't do anything.

They just pray to them and hope that they help. Lord of Light kills people. He brings people back to life. He's actually real. I just pray to them and hope that they help. Lord of Light kills people. He brings people back to life. He's actually real. I'm struggling to think if we've gotten evidence that any of the other gods are legit. Have we ever seen...

Well, that's coming from the children of the forest, old timey magic. That's like the old gods. Yeah, that's the old gods. Yeah, that's the trees. Yeah, that's the old gods gods right yeah that's the old gods uh yeah that's the trees yeah that's the old gods yeah that would basically their god thing is if it's kind of like if all of the nordic gods and all the greek gods and all the hindu gods and they're all real but they're all on like different in different areas on different levels of power maybe so like maybe

the old gods are real but they're just way weaker than the Lord of Light or something. Or maybe... Or disinterested. They could have tons of power, but they're worried about some other thing. They're on Earth. They could be. See, they never considered that about gods. It's like, if you were a god and you ran a whole universe as a person,

you're like, oh, well, they probably want to listen to like our feedback our customer service so to speak like and but in their heads as a god like it would be like us listening to lego people that we set up it'd be like no i don't give a fuck what you have to say fuck oh you don't you don't like the way lego life is going little barry all right well boom little barry's gone no more you the ant farm yeah like that like i can totally see how if you were god it'd be really easy to just be like oh my god these complainers like i'm this is i hate these people yeah you know like earth is so boring you know there's a real interstellar interstellar travel on this let's watch this other planet they're doing cool shit

i made earth two and those people put on a show. And so you guys step it up. And we come back. But Thing's got bananas. Is it time for a new topic, or are we still doing Game of Thrones? I just want to say, man, that was really good. I loved it so much. I was watching Dispel. I was really just focused on it 1,000% because everyone had sold had built it up so high and

It almost lived up to that which is saying something because you know It was really built up higher. It was it was 97% to perfection for me There's just this little nagging tidbits And you know back to what I said You know a few episodes ago when it was like ah why did John and Bronn just magic their way out of the situation instead of Being captured and then traded back? And then that way you get the whole Tyrion and Jaime Lannister talk as Jaime is a prisoner once again, he's a captive audience.

That seems to make a little bit more sense than all of a sudden we can just smuggle right on into King's Landing at will in broad daylight. It's like, goddamn, right? Like, you know, just a little rewrite here and there is all i ask it feels like it felt a bit rushed but borderline perfection and it's better than any of the other shit on fucking television because this season of rick and morty is quite poor uh most recent the most recent episode very good i loved the newest episode um because that's the like i haven't seen the most recent one pickle rick is like uh just

about jerry i saw i saw pickle rick i thought pickle rick was not good yeah one of the worst ever it's just flash and it's all flash and no it's all sizzle no steak it's all flash no substance but the newest episode it hits you right in the feelings a couple times you know it's about jerry and and the dark place he's in and he goes on a mission with just just rick and jerry rick and jerry rick and jerry and he and like rick drags him out of course with no pants and he's like can't don't i at least have time to get some new pant my pants he's like i'll make you some pants i don't want you to make me pants trust me jerry any pants that i make you'll be better than anything you own and i'm like yeah that's true i bet rick makes a

sick pair of pants he's an intergalactic fucking smartest man in the universe taylor like yeah whip me up a pair um i like that i didn't think the new episode was the best one of the season i don't know i guess i just don't like jerry that much i don't give a fuck about him he's too much of a complainer he's the complaint about jerry is what that he just whines and uses his victimhood as a weapon? I'm disinterested. Jerry grew as a character. So did Rick. They learned so much about each other. They experienced a thousand lifetimes together.

Rick fucked him in the ass. One of the cast members on this show has a serious leg injury. Kyle, tell us what happened. Well, it appears that... Oh! I was going to tell your story your story oh yeah yeah let me see let me see if i can what uh the dog bit me the fucking dog fucking like look at that oh my gosh kyle can you move it to your right yeah wow yeah that's the like that's the dog on that or is that

just the bruise that's just the bruise? That's just the bruise. When was that? Three days ago, I guess. I walked outside. What a bit. I walked outside, and Kitty had taken Dak out a different door. And I was like, hey, Kitty, what do you want to eat for dinner? You want to go to Cracker Barrel? And Dak's like, oh, oh, run and like runs right up to me and uh and he's like

two or three feet from me just kind of barking and lunging and so i just go completely still and i stare off into the distance and try to like just not be a person anymore and he just came in and pinched the back of my thigh what kind of dog is this again your calf right am i crazy yeah back of my calf it's a belgian malinois it's a it's an attack dog um and uh his teeth are much sharper than like a regular dog's teeth uh and he was very kind attack dog and i if it tell me if i have this story right they said hey this is a facility that that raises and trains attack dogs but we found that this attack dog is untrainable would you like him at a discount and kyle said that sounds great no they how close am i that's like that's like adopting a kid from a juvenile the hell that's not what happened um so i i went to the attack dog training place they do drug dogs and

attack dogs and bomb dogs and all that shit. And I was like, and he shows me his dog. And he's like, Samson, give me a Miller Lite. And Samson runs in the other room, opens the refrigerator, gets out a fucking Miller Lite, closes the door behind him, and brings it to this dude. And I was like, whoa. And I'd already seen him do all this other stuff, running through obstacle courses on command and attacking me on command and all that shit. I was sold. And I was like, dude, how much for one of these dogs? He's like, $13,000. I was like, fuck that. He's like, but I've got this one over

here that knows about six commands and he would make an excellent pet. He'll attack, he'll sit, he'll stay, he'll lie down, which is what? Pocken. Oh, he wasn't defective in some way i thought that was no way no not no in no way was he defective he was just not fully trained he'd had like one year of training rather than like three years of training or whatever it is like he was a he was a junior attack dog and they hadn't invested enough time in him for him to be worth thirteen thousand dollars he wasn't a certified, ready-to-be-sold-to-the-military attack dog. He was somewhere in between a pet and an attack dog.

And so that cost $3,000. And so I was like, ah, give me that one. And so got him back, and it just didn't go well between he and I. We never really got along that well. How long was it between the purchase and the realization it was a mistake man it wasn't long before he like he was in his kennel which is like a little kennel because like he was in the house at the time and we just went out to go get some food and he ate the cushion in the con in the kennel and then like vomited up and

shat it out and then like ate the vomit and the shit and then like vomited and shit the shit out again he like shat out the vomit and vomited out the shit and like it was like and it created the most any and then it all went in his special dog bowl which is like unflippable it's one of these dog bowls it has a lid and then it's like a funnel so like the shit vomit cushion is like down in there so like you have to like clean it out by hand and I just remember being outside like spraying it with a hose and brushing it and just I knew right then I'd fucked up like why don't I get a Jack Russell Terrier like my dad this little thing you throw on your arm that shits turds the size of your pinky like like instead

I've got this big monster And then I took it out for that walk that time and I I had my katana on my back. And while I was walking, I was like, oh, look at this, like, tall weed-like bush above by my mailbox. I'm just going to chop all these weeds down. And I shink, pull my thing out like I'm Donatello or something and start and, like, take one swag at him. And he saw that and reacted to it really strongly and, like, wraps himself around the mailbox with his leash and pulls so hard that he pulls the mailbox out of the ground and then somehow gets out of a full body shoulder harness and runs away into the night he did that like three times this thing where he would just run away and this three thousand dollar fucking dog is just on the loose somewhere and

you'd chase him in a car and be like dack no come back and back! And he'd go, later! And just, bing! Take off. And he would leave and be gone and you'd have to track him down. After maybe once or twice of that, didn't you want him to stay gone? Yes! 100% I did. And they kept finding him. The last time it happened,

he was tied up. Kitty? Kitty? Yeah. Dude, give that fucking dog away. It's Kitty's dog. See, that's the the thing it went from being my dog to kitty's dog in the it throughout that whole process and now it is like bonded and stuck with her it's kitty and she has about 75 85 percent control over him i would say because she was like oh that's not enough are you shitting me? I'm not shitting you. That's why she was standing right there when he bit me.

She was going, no, don't boy him. And I'm like, don't intercede. Like she always wants to like, no, don't do it. And I'm like, your high pitched squeals are driving him into a fervor. Like he thinks you're in danger. He thinks you're crying. Like you're hyping him up if you weren't here we'd be cool like you caused this uh and so like i try to stay away from him she keeps

him in her bedroom or in his kennel and you know keeps him on a leash and everything but he's he's bad news if it's if i if i'm there like it's not like oh yeah he barks at me it's like no he he bites me yeah he comes at me you can occasionally get along with him though like because i was there under very specific like situations like if if if you're on if you're sitting on the floor on a couch and like he gets put on the couch and kitty's not there well then i'm i'm the only human here like like yeah i could pet him and and he'll let me pet him and we'll be straight but if like she's walking him down the corridor and he suddenly sees me he just goes into a ferocious bark just just freaking the fuck out and there's no amount of bacon or like petting or speaking to him kindly that's going

to solve that he has identified me as a problem and wants no part of me because i've done that thing where i was on the couch and like his head's on my lap and he appears to like me. And I'm like, aha, two or three days of being good to this dog, letting him know that I'm a friend, has paid off. And now he and I are on good terms. No. No. He will revoke that friendship. His emotional bank account has a fucking hole at the bottom and it drains all the time.

And you just pour more and more into it, and you think you've done something, but it turns out it's empty again. He has personality. He is not a dumb, like, animal that you can just be like, hey, I got bacon, I'm your man now. And he's like, oh yeah, you got the bacon balls. He's like, nah, I remember you, motherfucker. You can scratch me all you want.

It's just like us. Like, if someone you hated, like, came up and, like, did a kind thing for you once, you'd be like, I mean, I'll eat this delicious pie you baked me, you cocksucker, because I don't know what poison is because I'm a dog, but in no way does this make us straight. I don't give any credit to the dog for being smart. It's a retard who, at this point, has not figured out that that you know who the smart dog is the one who walks by and go and when bacon is presented he goes oh it's a pretty good gig just sit down and shut up get fed do you know what a retarded stupid dog does is it walks through the home of someone it's

lived its entire life with with another person that it's lived its entire life with and gets angry for no reason it knows that nobody that nobody's made happy by that. Unless that dog is stone cold, pants on head retarded, it cannot think that barking at you all the time is making Kitty, its preferred human, any happier. For a long time, Kitty wanted to castrate the dog. Is that what you call it when they fix it?

Kitty wanted to take the dog's balls and neuter. And Kyle was the only thing between a pair of scissors and that dog, metaphorically. And I think you eventually got him neutered. Literally. Yeah. Literally. Well, the scissors was the...

I bet they used some little scissors, right? I wouldn't know. I picture a scalpel, but you could be right. They always say, you know, snip, snip. In any case, it has been neutered since then and like that didn't calm him down a bit it might have worked better if you did it younger like perhaps i know that with some dogs they say 18 months you wait longer than that and they'd be like they they hang on to those you know male tendencies aggressiveness and such a little longer yeah i don't know it

all i know is that like in the future my dogs will always be those little fuckers. It doesn't matter if he's a machine gun. I always see this debate about pit bulls, and I do think that pit bulls are inherently aggressive, but I don't think they're the only dogs that are inherently aggressive towards people. Oh, no, of course not. I've met so many little dogs that are machine guns that'll just... And you're just like, bring it what are you what you gotta do boom like you know it's just a little fucking like 15 pound piece of shit like if you nip me and break

break the blood i'm gonna spank your ass my grandpa didn't play that shit it still doesn't play that shit with dogs he's obviously a farmer in southern mizora and like when he brings up stories of like yep i remember when you were real little Taylor, we had a dog named Felicia. He ran up and bit a little boy right on the chest. Ran back. His grandpa came over and told me what happened. I was like, so what did you have to do? Just keep it in the cage? He's like, oh, no.

Nope. Nope. Went out and shot it. Shot it. Threw it away. And it was like, okay, how many times has that happened? With different dogs. He's like, oh, shit. Oh, real. How many times does that happen with different dogs like oh shit?

That's great When I was a child I a rottweiler bit me in the face when I was a kid I was maybe six I don't have a scar it didn't bite me badly I was just all slobbery, but it meant it it was a it was like ah Okay, like it like lunged at me cuz me you know six-year-old Maybe I was just like being rougher with it than it liked being played with meanwhile my dogs were like labradors and you could just like are you fucker let's go and like wrestle with their lips labradors were wonderful but this rottweiler fucking bit me they they fucking shot that thing cut its head off and sent it to test it for i guess they cut the head off and send it for testing for rabies. That's what they do.

They test the brain. As a kid, that seemed so barbaric. It was like, it didn't register in me that they needed to cut off the head for a scientific reason, medical reason, or whatever. It was like, so that's what they do. They beheaded it. There's a canine guillotine where they strap

it down with no morphine or anything and just drop its head off. It's never going to get there next day unless we cut this fucking head off. where they strap it down with no morphine or anything. Braveheart style. It's never going to get there next day unless we cut this fucking head off. Rebomb. Yeah, right. Right where the vet lets it go. Rebomb. That sucks about your leg, man.

You know what? I was jokingly talking about my bullshit leg leg wound today and because yours is actually a serious injury that that we're all you know hoping you hope we heal up from quickly yeah so it's not really as bad of a prognosis as you initially thought like it's pretty quick compared like the your healing i mean now right um i go back and forth on that you might be slightly out of date. So what happened is the first orthosurgeon told me three months. Three months with no walking, no pressure, whatever.

And then some period of time, maybe as much as three more months in a boot that allows me to walk and put pressure on it but not move it very much. And it was like six months. It's like, oh, my gosh. You know, like I don't do well being held down like that. And I will be very unhappy. And I won't be as good a husband, a father, a dog owner, etc. And so I started looking on the internet. And I found stuff that said six weeks you heal.

But I've since read some more. And they're like, yeah, it takes about six weeks to heal a broken ankle. Except for the very severe ones. And the very severe ones, multiple bones are broken. Sometimes very severe ones can involve surgery or even metal plates in the worst scenarios. And then it was like, and really, really bad ones. Sometimes the foot gets like dislodged

from where it belongs. The surgeon has to put the foot back and then like put all the bones around it. And I'm like, I'm just checking every box in this. Everything I've said so far describes my injury. and then like put all the bones around it. And I'm like, I'm just checking every box in this version. Everything I've said so far describes my injury. So I have an ortho guy that I love. I've been playing this game on, you know,

throwaway account mode since I was 12. So I've got, you know, a lot of experience with my ortho doctor and stuff. And like I said before, he worked for the Packers, the Indianapolis Colts, the Hurricanes. He's a sports medicine guy. And he has the same attitude around these injuries that I do. How much PT can we throw at this thing? How can we

make it better? And by the way, we're not looking to just hop into a car again. We're looking to do fun shit again on the other side of this. What does it take? I see him Friday. So this show and the next show, I'll still be in the dark. That's PKA. And then on Friday, the day after

pka i'll meet with him and i'll learn something yeah yeah i i would be like hey i i'm open-minded here so if you want to put me in an oxygen tent yeah you want you got some stem cells back there whatever you know i'm gonna mention that and i um yeah like you said i'm open-minded here you know maybe we'll throw some cash at it you can fuck fuck it. Like, I heard Dana White talk about his stem cell treatment. And they put a needle in him like the size of a Slurpee. And then they suck out, like, this big blood whatever. And then they swirl it. It was for his menagerie.

But they take it from his spinal fluid, right? Oh, okay. It sounds like you know, too. I don't know. But maybe they got it from his spine. In my head, it was blood. They do something to it and then they put his own stem cells back into him and it fixed that ear problem he had. Kyle, are you familiar with the ear problem? Did he have tinnitus? No. He had, I think it's called like menagerie's disease or menagerie's disease, something close to that. You know me in names. But what it did is, what is it?

Taylor will know this. Your vestibule system, like your sense of up and down and moving around. It's close to that. I'm sorry I'm ruining this. But anyway, he would get vertigo to the extreme. He's like, you know, you're drunk and you think you're spinning around, but you're not. He's like, that is nothing.

He's like, I would, you're drunk and you think you're spinning around, but you're not. He's like, that is nothing. He's like, I would grab onto chairs and stuff. It would happen to him. He flies a lot. So he'd be on a plane, his private plane, laying in the aisle, grabbing the bolted down chairs because he feels like he's spinning. And the flight has to get somewhere. He's like, this is life ruining. He thought he was going to have to leave the UFC over it. He had a surgery, and the doctors

came in and hauled and saying, I don't know if he should have this surgery. 70% of the people, it helps. 30%, it doesn't. He's like, yep, I'm rolling the dice. Let's do this. I'm going to do it. The doctor's like, yeah, maybe you want to think about this. He's like, nope.

Has the surgery. He's in the 30%. It made it worse so dana white's one hell of a liar but um i that's true i think we i think we need him out there to keep getting the entertainment we're getting although like but i'd like some changes but there's a little more to this story so derrick jeter calls him up and says i got this guy in like germany or something he does stem cell stuff. And he fixes everyone. Your healing is like you've never seen before. And he's like, huh?

He's like, yeah. I think the other guy was Kobe Bryant. He's like, I sent Kobe to him too. We're so happy. You've got to meet with this guy. And so he talks to Kobe. And Kobe's the same thing. He's like, yeah, Dana.

You've got to get this guy. And that's when he does the thing. I think in Klaus, he took some fluid out of his spine or bone marrow who the fuck knows and a needle that he said looked like a slurpy straw and then I think they come back like three months later after they're done doing something to it yeah they put in a centrifuge and separate the parts and yeah and into the... All the science happens. Yeah, they do some science-y shit. The science machine.

And then he went for repeated treatments of that. And he's cured. He's cured. This is a thing that... I guess it's all Western medicine, but his surgery couldn't fix. Nothing seemed to fix. All the experts were stumped on.

And then they did some sort of stem cell magic to it and they fixed him and uh yeah i don't know like like what i've been doing thus far i googled on the internet and i found some relatively harmless bro science stuff like oh leafy green vegetables are super important vitamin d is super important peppers this and that i get some milk in you and i'm like all of these things are really okay you know i'm not rolling the dice too much on this so so i'm not it's all shit it's shit that couldn't possibly hurt right it's like if it told you hey be sure to eat healthy get a lot of sleep it's like okay all right yeah yeah exactly on it i am working on the sleep schedule it's kind of falling

off a bit and uh tonight i'm gonna take some melatonin get to bed on time and i guess just you know i used to wake up in the morning and fly sometimes or just be on a schedule and i had friends and and now all i do is lay in bed with my foot elevated those are kind of doctor's orders and when you lay in bed with your foot elevated it's super easy to fall asleep at 2 p.m and then it becomes super hard to fall asleep at 10 p.m and and that's what happened so i'm working on yeah i uh i'm sorry keep going that's that's a wrap yeah i i i'm with you 100 if i had that foot injury i'd be doing the exact same thing i'd be looking for like you know alternative treatments they're legit and and and when you hear that that story you told about like yeah kobe said it derrick jeter said all right well how much you know like how much 10 grand and dude

right like dude would you get your foot for your foot like and here's the thing like while you're there getting your super foot put on you could be, if I slip you another 15, what could you make happen? We're in Germany, motherfucker. Let's make it an even 25 and make my vertical six more inches, right? Like, give me some of them Kobe Bryant moves. That guy played until his late 30s. Come on. How about next year, instead of turning 45, I turn 40. What do you think? Huh? I like that.

I bet if you talk to someone like that, especially if he's German, you know, they've been very... They've got some Nazi shit going on over there. They're scientists. They've been working. We have not stopped that research! Did you see what he did?

Yes, my dear. Maybe they didn't do that. What would have given you the idea that we would be open for something like that? I kid, I kid. Did you think that too? I wish that we would be open for something like that? You know? I kid, I kid. You know? Thank you. I wish I could do these accents for my doctor and tell him my line of thinking. But anyway, yeah.

So my doctor, I have the fullest confidence in him. He's the guy that fixed my ACL. And I also like this about him. I think I might have told this before. When Joe Lozon broke my hand, possibly Kyle Kyle I went to my doctor and he didn't operate he was like you need a specialist on this he's like he said if your hand was vanilla

I'd be your guy but you are Rocky Road and he sent me to a hand specialist and even that like raised my opinion of him because you know rather than be like oh yeah you need a haircut sit right here in the chair I do haircuts I hate that not with haircuts, sit right here in the chair, I do haircuts. I hate that. Yeah.

Not with haircuts specifically, but anytime you're getting a contractor, a carpenter, anything, and you see their finished work, and you're like, you thought this was going to cut it? You thought this is what I wanted? Like, no.

I want a guy who is, like if you hired somebody to cut your bushes, you want a topiary expert, right? I don't want fucking giraffes and gazelles out there. If I to suck i'd have done it myself like it's not even even on that side you fool like like like you want to pro sometimes and people aren't i've been watching a lot of gordon ramsey and it's super satisfying because he does all that he's got like eight different programs but the gist of it is always that he's going to teach some people how to cook who think they know how to cook but they don't know how to cook and to see them like be in that state of like self-delusion

where they're like yo lots of people like my food i don't know what the problem is and he's like your food is shit it's shit and you're like and he has to bring like like one guy in denver had these pizzas he's like i don't think there's anything wrong with my pizza and gordon literally has to like take his pizza a frozen pizza and the best pizza in town, and get a 100-person survey. He's like, 87% of the people liked this $30 pizza from the best place in town. 10%, like the frozen pizza, and 3 out of 100 people preferred your shitty-ass pizza. And he's like, are you going to change your ways?

He's like, nah, we don't need more than 3% of the pizza market. They're not the man and their, and their field of supposed expertise. But when you see someone who is humble about that, they're like, look,

you, the most important thing is you. So let's get you to Johnny big dicks over there. He solves everybody's problems like or wherever like like the idea that there's some guy i like that it's in germany too for some reason like because i feel like they haven't been restricted by a george w bush at any point who's like stem cells are evil yes he did you know that that never happened to them so i feel like why wouldn't they be a little bit more advanced than us at those techniques? Like maybe they're grinding up fetuses over there.

I don't care. I don't care if they literally vacuum the living fetus out and grind it in a food processor. If it makes feet better, do it. That sounds like. we should probably have some standards. I mean,

that's pretty, that's like. Yeah, it's easy to have standards when you're limping around. Dude, seriously, if like Hitler was all about eugenics, but if like a slideshow

got brought, like a poster board got brought to him and showed him like, this is how it is going, he'd be like, oh my goodness! I know we are doing the whole concentration camp thing, but I think we've really run out the evil tap on that. This is enough. We are done

with, oh my god, oh Jesus Christ. They're going to find this shit and burn it. Yeah. God. He'd been on board for that shit. He was looking at stuff with the occult and trying to use satanic powers to win that fucking war.

He'd have been down with a little fetus sucking. No, I'm okay with him sucking the fetuses out. I don't care if they're 8, 9, 10 years old. Whatever. Mothers who've made this choice, right? You don't care eight nine ten years old whatever mothers who've made this choice right like you don't just have to like roll up to some pregnancy with a shop vac and make it happen of course they volunteer well what if they didn't volunteer but they're jewish now you grow your own fetuses that there should be big plants where they're just cranking out fetuses clone the same

one a million times over find like whatever fetus has the genetic predisposition to make a lot of stem cells like oh yeah like this one's got 20 more look how big and plump it is with stem cells like and just grind the fuck up clone a billion of them and just run around sticking people with this shit like these aren't overripe tomatoes yes they are yes they are grow them in like an eye. I just imagine row upon row upon row of big, oversized pink IV bags with amniotic fluid in them and little fetuses in them growing until they're ripe.

And then you just pluck your fetus down, grind it up or whatever, and get those stem cells out. That is the creepiest shit imaginable. Yeah, it's creepy until all of a sudden your paralyzed uncle can walk and your mom who couldn't speak yesterday is, like, telling you she loves you. Fuck those unborn, like, sacks of meat.

Fuck them. It's funny. It wasn't until late in my life, probably older than Kyle is now, that I started to see babies as people. Like, I remember I'd watch, like, Law & Order episodes where, like, a one-day-old got thrown in a dumpster. And my thought process, evil as it seems to current me, would be like, you know, at least it was just an infant. You know, it wasn't like it had thoughts and feelings and care. That's, like, the opposite of what most people think. It is.

It's like, oh, my God. See, I don't understand this at all. I've known babies because people ever since i was one day old baby is really like a puppy in terms of its development right like if a nine-year-old dies it's tragic especially if it was a good-looking nine-year-old right but if it was a one day old then that one day old is barely aware of this was the it's not current me i see taylor doing the digging but but uh the one day old is barely aware of this was the, it's not current me. I see Taylor doing the digging, but,

but, uh, the one day old is just, you know, barely aware of what's happening. It doesn't know it's mom. I guarantee there's a warehouse full of Chinese babies just growing somewhere. The Chinese do not have any scruples about this bullshit.

Like half of them are Buddhist, right? They believe in reincarnation anyway. Like they don't, like why would they care? Like, like this is the future. None of this is true.

None of this is accurate. It's absolutely true. Jump on board, Taylor. It was originally Shintoism. Team Evil's having a great time over here. They switched over to Buddhism. I watched the whole John Oliver thing about the Dalai Lama recently.

Oh, then you must have been really informed. Oh, totally. Was he smarmy in a British accent, pretending, talking down to his Second Amendment rights? No, he went and met the Dalai Lama and, like, had a whole conversation with him because, like, the thing is that the Dalai Lama has to discover the child who is going...

He picks a guy called, like, the Shishi Dalai Lama or something, and that guy has to find, like, who's going to be the next reincarnation of the Dalai Lama So he picked that child like years ago. He picked this little kid He's like oh this kid is the reincarnation of like the something llama or whatever He will be the one to find my reincarnation once I die the Chinese government locked up that three-year-old baby and took it Never to be seen again, and whenever they're asked about it, the press release says, like,

he's doing fine. He wants you to respect his privacy. He's doing fine. And it's like, what? Well, they'd never seen him again. So he asked the Dalai Lama. He's like, you might be the last one. And he's like, yeah, I might be.

You know, it was a really cool conversation he had with the guy. They talk about Buddhism and Shintoism and the whole thing. What a fucking fount he had with the guy. They talk about Buddhism and Shintoism and the whole thing. What a fucking fount of wisdom this guy is. Here, I'm going to read a couple Dalai Lama tweets, and you're going to tell me if it's a Dalai Lama tweet or if it's a 13-year-old girl, okay?

Okay. All right. Inner beauty, warmheartedness, and compassion is what brings about peace of mind. 13-year-old girl. Dalai Lama. That girl. Dalai Lama. That's the Dalai Lama. Okay.

We all want to live a happy life, so we have to learn to live together in trust and mutual respect. I'm going to say Dalai Lama because you read that in a 13-year-old girl way as a diversion. I think you're all Dalai Lama. That one's Dalai Lama. Education today needs not only to develop our intelligence,

but also to support basic human values, warmheartedness and compassion. Girl. That's a good girl. No, it's the Dalai Lama again. Are they all Dalai Lama? These are all Dalai Lamas. They're all because he tweets like a 13-year-old girl.

This is what someone tweets like when they've had an entire life of people going, you are so smart. Like, you've really got this figured out, don't you? Like, you've... No, no, no, no, no. Just, no. Just because everybody else says to be kind on the internet doesn't mean that you are being redundant. You're not being redundant, Mr. I'm-too-cool-to-follow-people-on-Twitter,

because I have a bunch of sycophants surrounding me. There's no problem with me here. You just sit in your fucking robe and tweet about how much we need warm-heartedness and goodness and other vague nonsense. Take a collection of Dalai Lama tweets and Jaden Smith tweets and see if we can tell them apart.

Jaden Smith's tweets are more interesting. I guarantee. These aren't even interesting. There's no stance to be had on the Dalai Lama's tweets because they're so innocuous that you can't even hammer down a point. He seems like a really good guy. Don't give a fuck. Oh, by the way, John Oliver, I think if you watch this stuff, I don't know if Taylor could possibly be won over, but his self-deprivation, he started throwing that in there. I think he was talking about nuclear waste recently and he's like,

I don't know anything. I'm not a scientist, although I do have the face of one. And then he gets like, he throws in little self deprivation marks. That's deprivation. Deprecation. Deprecation.

Thank you. I'm messing it up. He throws in these self deprecating remarks and I feel like it adds to the show, the self awareness he's throwing in there whereas he used to be like sort of too cool for school too cool for school he would like like he's saying pretty bright things but the writers are who's saying them he's just delivering them and uh i feel like at the start he sort of took credit for all this things he was doing and now

he bills himself more as the pitch man in front of a team. I like his stuff. I like it more too. I've recently went back and watched. I didn't watch him for a while because he was so anti-Trump. But I recently went back and I just don't like foreigners telling us what to do. And so I went back and I, like maybe the last

week, and I watched all this shit that I hadn't seen before. I liked virtually all of them. It's fun to go back to the early trump stuff and to see what he was saying back then because i didn't watch uh and it's uh it's really i like the nuclear uh waste thing i i saw that one as well that was good that was the most recent one i think it is yeah i i like most of his stuff although sometimes i feel like he points out problems like they're ridiculous, but he doesn't have any solutions. Yeah. I prefer – Well, sometimes with the nuclear waste thing, like, no one has a solution, and that's kind of his point, right?

He's like, we've been dragging our feet for 40 years. Like, look at this reporter from 40 years ago being like, this problem is no closer to being solved, and it really needs to be quickly because this is 240 000 years worth of waste we have here and like as a kid we were always like shoot it into space and i like they covered that they like i don't know who the lady that does like canned audio they had was but she was like we don't have a great record of getting rockets into space reliably and well if just one of them failed it would pretty much irradiate a large part of the united states if not the globe and it's like oh shit yeah and and like while she's saying that they're showing a rocket tumbling in the air and exploding and you're like oh that

could be a yeah that's because it's much worse than a nuclear weapon you would much rather have a hydrogen bomb go off in kansas city missouri then you would, like, a few tons of that nuclear waste get blown up with a dirty bomb in the same area. Like, you'll rebuild that city, and it'll be fine in a few years. Like Hiroshima, Nagasaki. They're living there right now. But look at where they had the spill in Russia.

And look at Fukushima. Those areas are going to be uninhabitable for a very long time. I bet they'd do something with Fukushima. They'll figure it out. Some kind of spray. A billion tons of dirt and move it and put new dirt in and something. Or just like bomb it all the way through to the other side.

Ah, to the other side of the planet. No, no, no. Like if you... Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, that's us. Then it's not really my problem. no no no like if you like oh okay alright then it's not really my problem it's not except

that like they're getting the tuna is getting irradiated and they've got those radioactive bores and stuff there and I read those articles about how there's like these really old Japanese guys because people are so honorable fuckers, who are like volunteering to go,

they're like, ah, I only have a few more years left, send me in to clean up the waste. That's why those people are so goddamn dangerous. That's why we had to bomb them back to the fucking Stone Age 50 years ago. Because those people get an idea in their head. It's because those are all veterans being like, technically, I still get to die in the war. I go out here and do this.

Are you talking about digging a hole through the air? When I was a kid, dig a hole to China was like a common expression. You keep digging, you hit China. Everybody knew that. And I watched this Canadian program. It was like a little Thanksgiving special or something. And they're like, yeah, we're going to dig a hole all the way to Australia. And it was just like... like anyway that's my story

so all of these u.s navy vessels have been colliding with things and my personal theory is that the chinese are messing with our guidance systems because it's all happening at least in the same region of the world as china especially this last one i i think that the chinese are fucking with those uh with those boats' navigation systems and causing these incidents to happen because it just seems like we're having a rash of them. And then today, I said that like three days ago to Chiz, and he was

like, look at you, Mr. Tom Clancy. And then today, the Secretary of the Navy is like, we have neither confirmed nor denied that there may have been electronic interference with the guidance systems, but it is being looked into. i'm like aha tom clancy is true like i think that's what it is because these things don't just get shit yeah and it's also not that hard to do i've learned now i don't know if it's if the military is a better way of doing it but um i i forget where

it might have been a john oliver thing but i was reading about a youtube video they're talking about gps and they said that it's actually a lot easier to disable gps than you might guess you can put a I forget where it might've been a John Oliver thing, but I was reading about a YouTube video. They're talking about GPS. And they said that it's actually a lot easier to disable GPS than you might guess. You can put a blocker on there. And there was a trucker who didn't want to be tracked by his employer during like certain hours a day or whatever. And he put a blocker and it like disabled big chunks of New York and New Jersey whenever he drove around there because he would just disable GPS for everyone. Apparently it's not super hard to disable GPS. Yeah, but they've got so many

systems. I only know because like there's a YouTube channel that I recently watched and they had like a 10 minute video about the USS John McCain. They were like the USS John McCain. Could it single-handedly defeat North Korea? It was something like that. It was like the USS John McCain, like why China's terrified of this boat. And they talk about, like, the X-band radar and the Y-band radar. It's got, like, the systems are incredibly sophisticated, and the deck of the boat and its armaments are all modular. And what I mean by that is, you've just got some square holes that you could put any weapon system in, depending on what it's going to do. So if you, if you need lots of torpedoes, it can just do nothing but torpedoes. It could be like hundreds of torpedoes, or, but if you needed lots of anti-air, you could just put, put the anti-air

stuff in there. It's got like four or five different weapon systems that do everything from ship to ship, ship to air, ship to land, uh, ship to submarine, all that shit. And they can, to land, ship to submarine, all that shit, and they can tweak it to be any ratio of those factors. It was incredibly advanced, and then they talked about the radar system, and this, I didn't know what X-band radar was, but

apparently it means that it doesn't just, it's not like, it's not always just looking in one direction, and like, checking stuff out, it's always looking, and it's got one system that's just always looking 360 degrees in a giant sphere, and then it's got another one that's focusing in on stuff and being

incredibly accurate. It just seems crazy. This thing hit a big oil tanker, or rather, the oil tanker hit it. It ran into the path of a slow-moving oil tanker. They're talking about... Last time, I forget which ship it was, but the first one that

got into a big accident and like 10 people died they fired the captain and some like it's the second in command a couple guys this time they're talking about firing the equivalent on this ship as well as the boss they're like you know whoever the top guy is in that area not even on the ship he needs to get fired too because he's fired too much incompetence below him we'll see we'll say i also saw the navy saying that maybe this has something to do with the fact that we've been like going going going for like 25 years of war like there's got to be some kind of like the guys the guys are tired they've been going non-stop for too long they need to they need to stand down for a bit what do you think of the story lately with the Secret Service?

Speaking of going, going, going. From what I understand, that's not a new thing. They said that that's been a systemic thing since going back. I think it just didn't get publicized as much. Although Trump's certainly spending a lot of money. He's more expensive. Bigger family, more trips.

New York especially is expensive. Honestly, I don't care. It sounds like the Secret Service needs more funding. If he was able to bankrupt them this fast... So, the reason I don't care is, look, love or hate Trump, he's the President of the United States and he needs protection. Period. Right? You don't get to

say, favorite president, least favorite president. We protect them differently. No. Is his family more expensive because their travel and this and that? Yeah. So what? You know, like some presidents are going to be more expensive than other ones. I get it, right? Obama had younger kids. They all moved together. It was simple. Trump has older kids. They're spread out. It's complicated. Things happen. The only thing about it is that a lot of the Secret Service money is going into trump's pocket and that to me is where i don't like it you know i i hear things like oh we've spent like 1.5 million

dollars on golf cart rentals at trump's you know places so far for the secret service and i think oh well that's where it's fucked you gotta buy not rent bitches why is there not a secret service golf cart all black and pimped out, 30 horsepower? No, no, no. Woody's right. It looks like, no, not millions. It looks like the Secret Service has spent $60,000 to rent golf carts. I think it's each.

That's what I read. I know that's insane. This is just in Mar-a-Lago. Mar-a-Lago. So those are renting from his own club. Yeah, that's the frustration. Also, they're getting hotel rooms at his club. They're getting golf from his own club. Yeah, and that's the frustration. Also, they're getting hotel rooms at his club. They're getting golf carts at his club.

They're getting a lot of the Secret Service money. Of course, a lot of it goes to the actual salaries. But a lot of it is going back to Trump. So every weekend he spends at Mar-a-Lago or is it Bedminster in New Jersey? Yeah, something like that. Every time he goes there, he thinks, oh, yeah, that puts another $3 million in my pocket because that's what the government spends to protect me.

I just don't like the way that's lined up. I heard him say the White House was a dump and he just didn't like to be there. He said it was pretty rough. I forgive him. I have a lot of issues with Trump. I'm not mad that he said that. It's probably true. Yeah, and then I heard the HVAC system was like 30 years old. I mean, it's probably not true. i bet it's a pretty nice mansion i bet it's really nice but parts of it are old i have um a friend yeah who met with senators and uh like so he went to a

senator's office and he's like kind of sucked he's like it was an old government office building uh the cabinets that he had were those like metal kinds that you know they're not like wooden and decorative shitty walnut or something yeah they're they're you know it's probably served several senators and they work fine they were quality cabinets but they weren't nice the hvac system was loud and you had to speak up and it wasn't like what you'd see at a law office when you're trying to impress prospective clients perfect yeah that's that's great and uh you know it's like what are you gonna do go to the other government fuck off wait as long as i tell you to yeah i'll get you your form in a disorganized and not punctual way we've all seen the white house it's amazing and uh you know the carpets are replaced and the drapes and this

staff of people up keeping it but i'm sure there are aspects of it that are yucky because it's old. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I don't care about how much money you waste. And he's going to have to stay somewhere, I suppose. He's pocketing it. That's the part where I care. I think I like that better that he's pocketing it

rather than... It's going to be somebody, right? If they go somewhere, somebody's getting paid. So it might as well go back to him. you know then you've got a problem of motivations yeah maybe so maybe maybe he's golfed like you know 20 out of the first 21 weekends because it gets himself paid you know there's a fine golf course at camp david you know what trump should be able to golf as much as he wants if he stops using the cart. If he starts burning some calories, if he gets out there, he starts walking around. Because you know that he's sitting in there.

You know that he's sitting in there driving that golf cart. And you know that he holds it over his friends. He's like, you know, I've never had a drink in my entire life. I don't drink alcohol. I think it's for weak, weak people. Is that true? Yeah, he's a teetotaler. He doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't do anything. But you know he's just sitting there like,

and time for my daily third muffin. And he's eating his muffin. People are like, God, you really think you're healthy? We're having two light beers. You've ate six muffins. But I'm sober, is the point. Anyway, you guys want to call it a show?

yeah I could alright so PKN episode 157 I hope you guys liked it I had fun