Painkiller Already - PKN #158

Episode Date: September 8, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

And we're live! PKN episode 158. Taylor, you were just talking about hurricane pictures or something? Yes, so being from the Midwest, I've got plenty of tornado experience, no hurricane experience, and so when they're like, oh this is gonna be a category 3 hurricane, I'm like that's not that's not even a high number, it's gonna be fine. I looked up what it was out of, I thought it could have been out of 30 as far as I knew. But I was looking at the streets and I was like, this can't be right. Like, there's no way this is right because it showed the time lapse. And it's literally so high above the streets that the exit ramps that are elevated going on to some streets, those are entirely covered.

Like if that I heard about the mayor, I saw on Twitter people being like like the mayor said not to evacuate what a fucking scoundrel retard and then i saw one person who seemed to know what they're doing but it's twitter so it's like all it takes is i read one thread and i'm like oh i get it now but really who knows if that guy's right but he was like uh no if you would have tried to evacuate fucking houston the third biggest city in the country a couple days before there would be thousands of people drowning on that road right now. Yeah, he's just parroting what the mayor said. That mayor's in hot water and cold water. That was stupid what he did.

How is that better? Their current situation is there are thousands of people in their homes right now drowning. Nobody wants to say that, but there just have to be. There just have to be. There are old people. I would be surprised. Thousands seems like a really big number. There's going to be so many dead bodies when this water goes down. If you look right now, it looks like Venice or it looks like Waterworld. There's just boats everywhere. And they're telling the people to put sheets out of their windows so they know that there's someone in that house but what if someone's in there they're a diabetic or they're on dialysis or they're an old person or they're deaf or you know like not everybody has somebody who's like oh I

gotta go get Uncle Johnny Uncle Johnny's in there gotta get Uncle Johnny not everybody has a nephew looking out for you or whoever or whatever there's gonna be so there's so many people trapped in their attics right now drowning i guarantee it do you see those like uh those heartbreaking old folks home pictures they were rescued a few hours after that picture so they were hurricane katrina 1833 people died 1800 so i heard i saw that and i was like well maybe kyle's right you know almost 2000 died in that one it could could be worse than Katrina. Probably not. My uneducated guess.

Because they were literally below sea level. And it was poorly planned for. Yeah, they were like in a basin. Yeah, yeah. So all it had to do is it goes over the levee. Then all of a sudden, I can't say it. New Orleans fills up like a lake. And there we are.

I can't say it. New Orleans fills up like a lake and there we are. Hurricane Mitch, which was in 1998, 19,000 people died. I didn't know. That seems like a really big number. I bet a bunch weren't American. Maybe that killed a bunch of Cubans

or something. Or did it hit Haiti? Death counts are always insane in Haiti because there's just no structures that can protect you there. They just get knocked down, and then it seems to repeat. Looks like 14 dead so far as of 11 hours ago in Houston. Yeah, they've got no way of... They've got a long way to go.

I will take the under on thousands. Yeah. We'll see. There's no way of knowing right now. Like right now, they haven't even found all the live people. They haven't even found all the live people. Kitty sent that, but she didn't have your email, so she thinks she sent it to the PKA PayPal.

So you can take it from there and put it in your own one. I gave you a little work to do, I guess. How do you not know Woody's G gamertag at gmail.com? It wasn't under our recently used PayPal. That is good news that it's only 14 so far. What was it? 1,800 was Katrina? 1,900?

There's no way that that's even a relevant number. I'm shocked that they have any kind of count. How could you possibly know so far? I bet if they put the number of missing people, it would be hundreds. It's thousands and thousands of missing people. It just has to be. There's 50 million people in there. There's 60 inches of rain or something crazy like that.

Yeah, it's like the record in the contiguous United States for rain from a tropical storm or something like that. I'm very confused by the people counts. That's what gets me. Because I forget if it was PKN or PKA, but you told me there were 24 million people in Seoul. And that was roughly triple New York City. And I thought, no way is Seoul. And it was. And now you say there's 50 million.

15. Even so, that's two New York cities. Now, I guess we're including more than just Houston. It's a big, spread-out area. It's like 50,000 square miles that they say are flooded or something like that. It's an absurdly large flood zone. I saw them trucking out the old people from an old folks' home, and they've got a box truck that has that elevator on it that lifts normally boxes,

and you'd see a truck like this full of, I't know cartons of cigarettes or you know water or whatever they're putting people in it they're putting people in this box truck and their wheelchairs side by side like sardines and they're all in there you know they have dementia and stuff they're in there crying they don't understand it's it's just heartbreaking and the dogs and stuff i see the people with babies on their shoulders and dogs. It's rough. It's awful. I think it's going to be terrible when it's up. Tens of billions of dollars in damage.

And they just can't find all the dead bodies. Like, where'd all the homeless people go, man? Like, where'd they go? They're under that water. They're in that water drain. Yeah, exactly. I mean, if there's one group that wasn't totally bummed about seeing the end approaching it was the homeless the homeless in august in houston

i saw a homeless woman sitting there's a video of that there's a video of a homeless woman she's on like a pier i wouldn't call it she's like by the ocean in like a gazebo and uh and they stop the car and they like go up one guy goes up to her and he says something to her and then comes back to the car to the camera and he's like she says she's right where she wants to be and it's like oh okay as the massive waves start crashing and encroaching on the on where she is like she's gone well yeah i mean i see the people chopping she's probably just like do you have any idea how crazy i am like this is a blessing. I saw one bit of footage of a homeless guy sitting outside of a Salvation Army. And CNN or some news station was there interviewing him. They were like, sir, sir, is there a reason that you haven't gone inside the Salvation Army?

It seems that they are really taking care of a lot of people in there. He's like, I went in there and and uh you know you're not gonna see this on any news station you're not gonna see this anywhere they're they were killing people in the salvation army everybody that went in all the homeless they're taking them to the back and killing them and the news anchor was just like oh okay okay sir okay okay you're clearly dealing with some problems here right now uh why do you think they're killing people in the salvation army it's like just you know they're not gonna they don't you think they're killing people in the Salvation Army? It's just, you know, they're not going to – they don't care, man. They're just – I used to be a cop.

I'm a cop. I'm a cop. And it was like clearly someone who's just so out of it, like having those disjointed thoughts that crazy people have. And it was like, oh, this is sad. Like that's someone that Kyle's talking about. Nobody gives a fuck enough about that guy to be like, oh, my God, where's crazy Uncle Ted? Like they're looking for their cats more than that. for their cats no one gives a fuck about him and in my thought i'm like maybe this is a good opportunity to kill him yeah well you don't have to kill him nature does it for you just like you know like

for the better of all right for the greater good you know what could have been for the greater good is if fire ants drowned but apparently they just form rafts and go about their business i don't care for that one yeah i've seen it we so uh when we first got our pool there were like balls of fire ants the size of like between tennis and golf balls and uh you know like we didn't even this is very pool pool was very new it had water in it but we didn't run the filters yet. And it was just like, what are we doing with these fire ants? And you'd hit them and they'd spread out and they'd come back together.

And they just like tumble and float and stay on top. So the next day we ran the filters and I'm in there like guiding them. Like, go, go. And Jackie's like, are they going to survive? You know, you can't kill them by drowning. No, baby. Yeah, you can. No, no, no. I get that they float, but they going to survive? You know, you can't kill them by drowning. No, baby. Yeah, you can. No, no, no.

I get that they float, but they don't survive the pool filter. Yeah, nothing survives that. Like bacteria barely makes it through that. Yeah, yeah. They're dumb. Yeah, they're dumb. Have you had any unpleasant discoveries in the pool filter? Because I remember dozens of times as a kid going out there and checking it.

And my dad being like, changed the pool filter taylor and i just lift it up and there's just a decaying waterlogged mole rat or rabbit or squirrel or anything like that yeah once we had a mouse in the skimmer so i just sort of threw it away and another time we had a frog in the skimmer and that seemed more sad like oh frog like a frog drowned and uh it's like struggling and stuff and we put it out and it like it came back like it it it was like swirl like you know really suffering in this thing yeah it wasn't gonna last much longer but you know we pulled it out and even put them on like the little like stamp cement next to it and one of our little dogs jumped in the pool one time, and we didn't find him until he was dead. Came out there in the air.

In the pool. He just got in the pool. It was a little dog. He jumped in the pool. We rescued this pair of little weird-looking dogs, Darius and Sheila. God, that's been 20 years ago. I don't remember that.

And Darius one morning, the brown one. I don't know those dogs' names. We went outside, and there years ago. I don't remember that. And Darius one morning, the brown one. We went outside and there he was just floating in the pool. You know what I remember? Yeah. Dispose of this before anyone else wakes up. On things that you remember oddly well. That's a good name for the dog though.

I'm really old, right? I still remember who dated who in high school. Like, that's just burned in. Yeah? Yeah. Jim and Amanda, those two were like a power couple. And, you know, this guy dated that guy, and this girl dated, like, all the popular guys.

How'd she pull that off? Like, yeah, that just, somehow that landscape of who dates who is burned in. I came up with my earliest memory the other day. I was talking to my mom, and she was talking about the time I fell out of the shopping cart when I was younger. And in my head, I was five when this happened, or four when that happened. Basically, I was in a Kmart, and I was in the

shopping cart, and leaning out of the shopping cart to grab an item that's hooked onto that pegboard shit they've got. And the whole cart overturned sideways with me in it and i go head first into those hook things that you hang stuff on and one of them cut the top of my head and the edge of the shopping cart you know how it's kind of jagged yeah like it went between it went between my my lip and my gum in the front

and separated all the way up to the bottom of my nose there's blood pouring out of my mouth mouth, knocked a couple of teeth out and cut the top of my head. And I thought I was like five when this happened. And mom was like, yeah, you're like three and a half, something like that. And I'm like, I remember that so well. She's like, well, what happened? I was like, well, I was leaning out trying to grab something, fell, hurt like hell. You took me into the bathroom with my grandma and my aunt. We sat,, and there was a big, long mirror. You're looking in the mirror. Everybody's crying. You missed the exit twice.

Got me to Dr. Kwan. Then we went to the ER. You missed the exit twice. That's impressive. Yeah, because she was frazzled. Then I go into surgery. I was like, I remember the dream I had in surgery. It's this bizarre dream.

I'm in a room that's completely black just just utter blackness There's nothing to be seen except for a bird a human-sized birdcage that is suspended from the ceiling with light Spilling down upon it inside the birdcage is an old black man like Morgan Freeman, and he's telling me everything's gonna be okay And that's my earliest memory ever. That's a weird end to that. Three and a half. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. God's black. It is interesting. Like what you remember and then you talk to your parents and they're, they're like, Oh no, that's not even what happened at all.

And it's like, Oh, well I guess I almost like from being told the story you internalize it and you convince yourself that you remembered it in a way sorry what it seems like you have one yeah oh now i've got both of them so there's a story i i'm not sure if i remember it or if it's implanted but i was very young call it two like just two and uh i don't even know the details of it my mom had some sort of lock that she put on my cradle and she put me in like the front yard and uh my brother unlocked it and set me free

and i left and the neighbors brought me back and but i'm not sure if i remember that or if that's like an implanted story i've heard one thing i do remember is this i was a little older say two and a half or three and it was christmas so uh so i would have been almost three and uh there was an ornament on it that was particularly attractive on the tree and they put it up high so i couldn't reach it but the tree was between the the fireplace and the couch so i climbed on the couch i climbed on the arm of the couch and i reached up for the top of this ornament and i pulled the tree over and they were upset with me I guess I was a little too young to beat the fuck out of but

never too young to beat the fuck out of that was so to do a pillow at the Woodworth home so I don't remember that part but I do remember that she was upset that I had decided I was just trying to pull the ornament down

but it was attached to the tree well enough or t's tippy enough that i pulled the whole thing over but it's not you knock over a christmas tree you put it back up it's like 90 the way it was before it's not that big a deal it doesn't take a lot of effort like worst case scenario is you pick up a few you know tenth of a gram you know plastic orbs and put them back yeah and you've got that pool of like tree water down there and that spills on carpet or something. That could be a... That would piss you off.

Even then, the pine needles, just grab a dust buster for two seconds. That's even a job you could hand off to the child. Oh, the water? Yeah. I remember something I used to do as a kid. Because you remember sitting in the cart with your mom pushing you. And you'd be like, I want that.

I want Cheez-Its. I want Oreos. She'd be like, no, Taylor, you can't have any Oreos. You can't have any Cheez-Its. So what I used to do, I don't remember how old I was, is I would, as she would push me by things and go to grab other things, I would grab things that, and I would only do it after she said I couldn't have something that I wanted.

I would put things that she didn't want in the cart once it was full enough that she wouldn't notice and then when we got to the checkout there would be like eight items in there where she'd be like, oh, I don't want this. Here, one sec, man. I have to run him back and put this back. We don't need this much brown sugar either. Okay, I'm gonna run and put that in. And then she'd always figure out like, Taylor, did you put this in the cart? Did you put this in the cart? It's like, well, yeah, you wouldn't let me get Oreos. So you got ten cans of baby corn and a bunch of brown sugar bitch we'll see you're doing it wrong i would put the things that i wanted in the cart

like i wouldn't ask for oreos i'd throw some oreos in there now my mom would have cut that down because she would notice an oreo pack if i threw it in there but she would notice if i threw a bunch of baby corn or some stupid garbage that she would never expect me to throw in there um i'm thinking of other kid things now my youngest oh uh my younger brother we were at the zoo on the way to the monkey house when i was four he was two and i remember walking i was holding my mom's hand and my grandma was holding my younger brother's hand he was throwing a guy i'm tantrum and we were walking towards the monkey house because i was pulling everybody along come on we got to get to the fucking monkey house i want to see the monkeys and right as we were walking

up to the monkey house my younger brother just goes does the limp child thing with his arm up and pulls his arm out of socket and starts freaking out and so he's a two-year-old with his arm out of socket screaming bloody murder and i'm still trying to pull everybody to the monkey house i'm like it'll only take a few minutes like we we could get him taken care of and and it was a hard pass so we got within 15 yards of the monkey house before my grandma and mom would be like taylor i'm so sorry i'm so sorry but your brother pulled his arm out of socket and we need to take him to the doctor is he going to be okay it's like it's going to be fine what's not going to be fine is if i get back

in that car without having seen monkeys it's gonna be a disaster for you the rest of the day is gonna be horrible i'm four and i'm gonna have a shitty bunch of underwear for you to deal with out of spite like but oh i don't it's just funny the little i remember and i remember how disappointed i was and having no perspective at the age of four that was like just that i was distraught of like oh my god like who knows when i'll ever make it to the zoo again i can't drive like i don't have any friends that could bring me here it's it's mom or nothing and i just struck out with that but anyway that's interesting we did that to my daughter once uh It wasn't, she didn't go limp and like protest or anything, but she was young enough that she didn't reliably go downstairs.

So we would hold her hand. And sure enough, you know, safety net was activated because she would have otherwise tumbled down the mall. I think she's holding my wife's hand. So she just fell like one step and then gets tugged. And I don't remember her complaining about the pain a lot. It was like, ow, you know, mommy. She was hurt.

But then like three days goes by and she's holding her arm like it was in a sling, but it's not. And we're like, you know, maybe we should go to a doctor. I don't know. We're young parents. We don't know what the fuck we're doing. But it appears our only child can't use her arm and that's what doctors are for so we went there and he did this thing it didn't hurt her at all

but he'd go like this and then you'd have her roll it like that and uh that fixed like instantly she was like ah ah now it works and that was that so once or twice i think we had to do like we're at home she's like it's not getting better and my wife would be like try that and she did it and i don't know what that does but it fixes it i've never popped my arm out so i've never had to do that thankfully but i now i know well now when i do pull my arm around i'm gonna be sitting there by myself like mine's never popped out and stayed out but but occasionally if I lift something at a weird angle, like sort of like an overhand press, but at an angle, like I'm going in a way that like things are weak

or like maybe you're not supposed to move that way, I get a horrible pain in my shoulder. And I know that's what it is. It's like the thing is starting to slip out. And I completely lose like 100% of the strength in it. It's like that's what it is it's like the thing is starting to slip out and it complete I completely lose like a hundred percent of the strength then it's like ah it like collapses and I'm so yeah oh god I totally almost tore my shoulder out like like not tore but it's a class one neck deformity is that what you said it was called yeah yeah that's mostly their shoulder not tied in the same way is like Taylor's shoulder it could be are

you are you talking about like chest flies no like those kind of specifically it's out it's not even a workout no no um well like if i'm doing straight out like that i'll kind of make it do a little thing occasionally but mostly it's like it's not when i'm working out it's when i'm like lifting a box awkwardly or the ladder's not close enough to the shelf yeah and i'm like trying to put like you know something kind of heavy just up on a shelf it doesn't have to be 50 pounds it could be 20 pounds and it's just like oh oh god oh don't ever do that again that's oh yeah that's that's why i started doing those chest flies laying on the ground instead of on the bench because like

you think like oh this is only 25 or 35 pounds in your hand like they're extended over the floor but then you're right you just go like a little too far or you tweak your shoulder a little bit and it's like you just you just lose everything and it goes in a goofy angle and it's like god damn like you could really fuck your shoulder up it's that's a known thing with humans ask any jointologist or whatever joint studies are show uh shoulder joints suck worth of yeah uh apparently our hip joint magnifique a great great joint our shoulder joint apparently sucks cock like our show we're the laughingstock of the monkey world with shoulders you know what probably i i remember my orthopedic surgeon just saying that last week both of those things thanks for the laughing stock lines or quotes that's what some of the highest paid people in the world say that's the way they say

sex pack is the greatest it's funny like it I was a bit doing my follow-up appointment she's like well we can do this time you know we can go to it like that we have other orthopedic surgeons in the in the practice and i'm like no no no dr martini is my orthopedic surgeon and she's like yeah once they see dr martini they won't see anyone else this guy is the greatest he's been fixing me up for 15 years now there's and there's some like poor dr johnson over there like i know joints just as well and nobody wants to come to me i'm tired of wrists i'm tired of wrists i'm a orthopedic surgeon i get one more masturbating 17 year old in here this is like totally off topic but another one of those like child memories i remember at my

so my grandparents live in uh southeast missouri in a very very rural area and this was where they lived in a different section of that same area that doesn't fucking matter there's the rural area of missouri and i was maybe 12 my younger brother was two years younger or so so he was like 10 and then my youngest brother is like five, four, five, six, somewhere in that range. And we were all hanging out while my grandparents were gone one day when we were all at their house alone. And I made a fucking decision. There will be no more JJ the Jet Plane in this goddamn house. Unless grandma and grandpa here said you are allowed to put JJ the jet plane

on because that is the fucking worst show and my youngest brother watched nothing but JJ the goddamn jet plane and it wasn't an old show at the time so it was like you had one season of JJ the jet plane to tear through over and over it wasn't like Sesame Street where even if they're into it it's like alright well it's been going since fucking 1971 so

I'm not gonna see any It's a whole library here to count the 12 yeah there's a lot but there was not of jj so i could only see so many times jj flying into like a sky banner and like almost crashing and then never crashing um and my youngest brother was like it's not fair i'm running away and i was like good do you know what supplies you need to bring i was like no and i'm like well you better get some snacks and you know what supplies you need to bring? He's like, no. And I'm like, well, you better get some snacks. And, you know, it's going to be dangerous out there. It's going to get cold. And so he spent, like, the next 40 minutes going around doing that Pouty Kid thing of, like, taking a backpack and, like, putting Oreos in it and, like, taking, like, a Pokemon cartridge.

A childhood go bag. Yeah, a childhood go bag. His bug out bag. And just throwing stupid garbage that no one would ever need. You know, Lincoln Logs. There's no sticks in the wilderness, retard. And then he walked over to the door, and me and my younger brother were just watching regular TV or whatever at the time. And we're like, all right, you heading out?

You heading out? He's like, if you're not going to turn JJ on, then yes. And he was like, well, we're not turning jj on so we will see you later you know best of luck out there we believe in you and he opened the door keep in mind this is not st louis where i live where i could just like brother this is my youngest brother yeah two brothers yeah okay yeah my youngest brother is like six or seven years younger and then my my younger brother's like two or two yearsish years younger. And so he opens the door, walks it out, and I immediately get up, run to the door, and lock it.

And make sure he can't get back in. And he's like, Taylor, Taylor, unlock the door. I've got something. I've got something. And I'm like, you're never going to survive if you keep coming back. Get out there. Show us and you're never gonna survive if you have to keep coming back get out there show us what you're made of and they lived on this on like a quarter mile gravel drive that went out to a highway that just has a letter because it's so rural you know highway z or whatever and so he made it down the entire length of the way where your parents and maybe like half an hour later i

looked at my younger brother and i'm like oh fuck like shit we should we my parents weren't there my grandparents were out doing you know work or something like that so they put me in charge of keeping control it was not a i was not put in charge a lot in this for a few years um they ran into him up and brought him back and he was distraught and believe you me no one is madder than grandparents who just learned that one of their grandkids locked the other one out of the house with nothing but a lord of the rings dvd and slim jims to survive yeah and it's. There's animals out there. Just a couple weeks earlier than that, I remember my grandma was telling me,

you need to stay inside when it gets dark out. Cougar got a little boy up north. It was like a cougar wildcat. I'm sure you have those there. They're not here. That was dumb. I could have been out of Brother if I hadn't been so lucky that they came back.

The only cats we have are bobcats, the ones with the little, you know, the bobtail and the sort of lynx-like ears that stand straight up and are pretty cool looking. Have you seen one? Oh, yeah, just a small cougar. Yeah, I've only seen one. It was that place where we did the survival trip last time, like when I was up there driving those roads like weeks before. I found one up there like I didn't I got a glimpse of it it was like running across the road and I saw its butt and it's and I could see the silhouette of its ears and I was

like that's totally nothing I've ever seen before like that's this is a new thing for me seeing like that's got to be and I'd heard people tell me about him like I think my dad shot one while he was bow hunting like 25 years ago or something I think they're really wily and like they hear you coming and just really get out of there have you heard them like what their cry sounds like it sounds like if it's in the wilderness and it's a little further away it sounds like a baby crying it's creepy as shit so fucking creepy so you like i don't know why oh yeah yeah like you hear them where my grandparents are often because they've got, you know, Bobcats, Cougars.

I think a Bobcat and a Cougar are either the same thing or a Bobcat's just a small Cougar. So the Bobcat is like twice as big as a house cat. It's like I'm holding my hands up right now for the most of you who can't see, but it's like this tall. It's, you know, 18 inches or something. Do some Wikipedia. I'm sure I'm about right a it's a souped up house cat but a cougar is the same thing as a mountain lion you know it's that those kill people like grown men like that that thing will take you down and murder you i actually did was doing research on the internet the other day because uh i don't know i saw a cool cat, and I was like, all right, cats just suck, and they're stupid and everything, but a small lion would be a really neat pet, wouldn't it?

That'd be awesome, or a lynx, or a bobcat, or a mountain lion, or whatever. I looked through all of them. They're all terrible pets. Terrible, terrible pets. They destroy it. They're like, hey, this one actually has one of the best

temperaments now don't leave it alone with kids or anything and it will destroy your like furniture if you uh they piss at it and they mark yeah they mark their territory and and oh it's terrible no i have big dogs and like look i don't like it when people are like, hey, my dog poops in the house and it's no big deal because it's just little poop. Yeah. And then you don't drain your dog and it's stupid and your house is disgusting. But anyone who's had pets know that sometimes they have accidents in the house. And when a great Dane pees in your house, like, you don't use paper towels. I go to the, like, linen closet and I'm like, one of your towels is going to be sacrificed for good.

We need something very absorbent. Here, you look kind of shitty, yet absorbent. You're not like a beach towel. And I get like 95% of it up with a towel, put the towel straight in the trash, and that's how I deal with it. There isn't a good way to – it's a large volume of pee. You need, like, a shop vac. That's awful. You need a wet vac.

It's not made for shoes. Then your vacuum would be gross. Yeah. Ah, come on. You put gross things in there anyway. Like, if I'm shop vac-ing up liquid, it's not pure water. It's something that's going awry. Yeah, you're probably right.

It is funny, the life cycle of towels, though, that everybody knows, where eventually the nice bath towel gets traded down to be a sex towel, where it's like, all right, well, clean all this up. And then, of course, it's always the lady in your life, because I'll just grab whatever, and it's always, don't grab that one!

That's the mauve set that i purchased for us and it's like oh my god who fucking cares get the other one and then you keep using it as a sex towel until eventually you go to clean something else and you grab it because it's also dirty and you go oh no i know what's happened too much on this towel and if i use this to clean this mess there will be no illusion that it actually got clean and then you just throw it away oh you guys go the same life cycle steps it starts off not as a nice towel but as a guest towel that's the one that people who don't know us think we live with after the guest towel gets a little worn has been laundered it becomes you know like a shower towel and then like you said maybe to a sex towel or something. And the last stop is not the trash, but a shop towel.

That's what's used to, like, you know, oil spills and stuff like that. And then it goes to the trash. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. I got, shirts do that, too. Like, T-shirts go through that. Like, as soon as you get a hole, as soon as I get a hole in the T-shirt, it's like, ooh, you've been downgraded. I don't wear you outside anymore and then then something else might happen

to it if it ever gets i've had polos where like you get a grease stain on it like oil or something gets on it and it never goes bad i mean it never gets good again you've always it's like it'll be like a navy blue polo and there's just like an oval of even darker blue on it and it's like ah it's never quite the same you're ruined now you're ruined now there's a thing as a woodworker with t-shirts that oh go ahead so old t-shirts actually have a really high value um you know if you're just like cleaning the dipstick on your oil then it doesn't really matter but uh a brand new t-shirt leaves lint everywhere so you can't like you know wipe down coats of varnish or anything like that but a T-shirt that's been washed 75 times is magic because it doesn't leave little tiny threads of stuff in your finish.

And that's it makes sense. Has high value. Taylor. Oh, I was saying I was I've taken a different path with some T-shirts recently because I never used to wear sleeveless shirts ever because there was no reason. Because it was like I'll just look frumpy and shitty and lazy. And then I started wearing them out to barbecues and such because I have a pretty brutal farmer's tan right now. And I'm really trying to combat that because I'm running out of time. I told you to go to the tanning salon. Maybe I'll do that. I've never gone to a tanning salon and everything but i i wore my my prestige worldwide uh boats and hoes sleeveless shirt out to a barbecue and got a lot of compliments from you know and not just dude compliments

because who gives a fuck lady ones are the ones that matter and i was just like and i went home that night and i was just like i'm buying like six 16 sleeveless shirts if this is what can be expected when i go out and now it's become an issue of like i don't i only wear it when i'm doing outdoorsy stuff because i'm not gonna be that cunt who shows up at like a bar in a sleeveless shirt like i like i just came from lifeguarding so i will never be that guy but like for i'm with all kinds of excuses for groups of friends to go do outdoorsy shit even when it doesn't make any sense just because that seems like a great way to get some attention dude going out there sleeveless there's a paramotor guy i won't mention his name, Glenn. And he's like, I have never seen this guy in a regular t-shirt. And it frustrates me.

He's not even that, he's somewhere in between me and Taylor, right? In terms of like arm strength. And like 80% of his Facebook is like, check out my gains. And like every, he's never wearing a t-shirt, ever, ever. It's always the sleeveless stuff and it's like dude your sense of self is so high and uh beyond that he also flies an airplane for a living and if you don't have any of those people in their lives my god they think they walk on water like like airline pilot is not sky bus driver oh no it's right there next to like

airline pilot is not sky bus driver oh no it's right there next to like neurosurgeon you call me captain yeah yeah oh my god i didn't go to school for weeks on end to not be called captain i've never even met him in real life and he's insufferable with just how much he thinks of himself with the non-stop like he praises it most of his facebook posts are just him praising himself i uh maybe i'm just new to this world of facebook and that's normal glenn thinks a lot of himself and that's okay captain glenn is the man captain glenn see i mean i don't really use facebook or posts probably he just i don't you have to see it he's like you know yeah i hit the gym today preserving my gains and it's like look you're fit but you're like ordinary fit like if i go to the grocery store i'll find four guys like you you know and for you to like think you're dorian yates over there it's

just weird to me i'm glad you said dorian yates because that was the name i was trying to i was just like trying to look up here. That's what I'm doing. Did you see the Rogan podcast with Dorian? Maybe that's why he's in my head. I saw that he did one, but I didn't watch it. It's very good. It's very good because he's a normal human being now. He's incredibly

he still looks great. And they talk about that a little bit, but he talks about his mindset going into those bodybuilding competitions. And they're looking at pictures of old bodybuilders he's like yeah look at this guy's physique it's perfect like the symmetry like like he looks like what any man would want to be like that's not what i was going for that what i wanted to walk in there and then and then to drop the pencil they were writing with and go what the fuck is that what did he do to himself i wanted to be a beast a monster like nothing he talks about his dedication and the intensities of his workout.

He said, I worked out four times a week, 45 minutes to an hour each time. And Rogan's like, that's it? One punch man shit. Rogan's like, that's it? He's like, yeah, it's about intensity and allowing yourself to recover. That's how you build muscle. There's been so many other guys in competition who hear me say that. I invite them to come work out with me.

And at the end of it, I'd ask them, you want to do some more? Nobody ever, ever wanted to do more. He's like, it's about intensity. He's like, if you're doing curls and you get to failure, he's like, well, you've gotten to failure on the upswing of the curl, but I can still come over and help you get it up and then let you slowly lower it down. He's like, the downside of these exercises is just as important as going up. So if you're lifting 100 pounds and you get to failure, we'll assist you. We'll give you assisted reps and let you get it

back up he's like that's what it's about and he talked and the down he talked about how people will bounce the bar it's like it's like up and down up and down he's like it's not about up and then let go and let gravity take over it there's two parts to this exercise there's up and there's down you know and and that really illuminated to me to hear that he was only at the peak of his. And if you're listening to this and you don't know who Dorian Yates is, because I did not. Just Google. Look at this Google images. He's incredible.

He's a monster. He was on steroids, of course, but they all were. There's nobody in professional bodybuilding who is not on steroids. It just doesn't exist. And that was interesting to hear him say that, that he was exercising four hours a week. nobody in professional bodybuilding who is not on steroids it just doesn't exist and uh and i that was interesting to hear him say that that it was that he was exercising four hours a week and and winning the world championships or whatever i've been watching rogan and maybe paired with brandon schwab talk about people and their steroids and stuff and he's just saying everyone's on

steroids chael sun and has a book coming out called like, you know, the four pack goal or something. Cause he's like, that's a reasonable goal. Six packs are steroids. And I'm like, what really? I don't know about that. It seems like people achieve six packs.

Yeah. Yeah. They definitely do. We've seen them like, like we all know someone with a six pack and it's like, well, that Jim's not on steroids. He's just working.

I don't know anyone with a six pack. And I like well that jim's not on steroids he's just working i don't know anyone with a six pack and i think at my 20 years ago i'd had not really a six but i had like a four pack and then the bottom two were connected you know like it wasn't it wasn't ripped i was i pretty much count that as a six pack like every like like i know what you're saying where the bottom one's like one solid and then you get the four definition. That's a six pack. I've never got that. I appreciate your generosity. I've had that, but I always saw the next guy who had a better six pack than I did.

Maybe I had a five pack. Maybe that's what that should be. Go ahead. I was going to say I've been watching a lot of rogan and i saw the one where um they were looking at like act they were talking about actors specifically um you know who do cycles to like do a movie or whatever and they're like bringing up ben affleck a huge acman jake gyllenhaal and it's like yeah if you look at jake gyllenhaal and i think it's called the fighter it's that boxing movie he did like a year and a half ago it is insane how big Jake Gyllenhaal got his biceps his core he has the he has a six-pack Jake Gyllenhaal the skinny joker guy he has and

then his his core is like a six-pack that's bulging out and clearly defined. And massive pecs that are jutting out with a clear cleft underneath and in the center. And just big arms. He's in the ring, shorts and gloves. And Rogan's like, that's the physique of a modern-day UFC athlete. That's literally what he said. And I was like, it absolutely is. He's not quite to yo romero uh level yet but he would lose conor mcgregor out of the water ufc yeah that guy yeah yeah you'd see him out there and you'd be like oh that's jake that's steroids isn't it that's steroids yeah they're saying and it's 100 these actors

are on steroids they're they're confident of it and one thing that joe rogan does that that i don't care for maybe i don't watch enough of him, is he slurs his speech to maintain a secret. He'd be like, oh yeah, this guy's trainer is Mike Przewski. And Mike Przewski has his... And then he just finishes his

sentence. And you're like, no, no, no, that's the thing I wanted to know the most. You know? It's not a mistake. that's what he's doing you can read into it sometimes usually usually the or when they say something like mexican supplements they're just trying to not outright be quoted as like defaming somebody you know they're trying not to get sued or whatever um i i believe all those guys are on something because why wouldn't you be if you're getting paid 15 million dollars to be a to look like a professional boxer and you got four months to get into that mode you better get on a

cycle like like if you show up and you're looking skinny and like not looking strong like you've led a whole cast and crew of people down right you see i'm talking about the guy from 300 i don't know my well enough is was he the main guy yes yeahidas? Gerard Butler. Yes. Yeah. Leonidas, Gerard Butler. The way they put it was everyone's doing the 300 workout, and this is the workout that the actors did to get in shape to do the 300 movie. And Gerard Butler, I guess, started doing it and was like, fuck this. Like, this is so much work.

Like, you just tell me when I need to look like that, and I will. Sayonara. And they're like, all right, you know, me when I need to look like that, and I will. Sayonara. And they're like, all right. You know, whatever it was, June 12th. And he comes back, and he looks like that. And they're just like, yeah, Mexican supplements. That's what they do. And I'm like, God, like, I desperately need some Mexican supplements. That would be so great for me.

I've got a broken leg three places. What if I could heal like Anderson Silva and come back and chris weidman to kick my ass yeah i'm looking up uh signs of steroid abuse and a lot of these seem like like it's it's just a an eye test yeah there's so many different things like unusually fast muscle growth unusually greasy hair or oily skin bad breath, jaundice or yellowing of the skin. That's not good. In the MMA community, a lot of that eye test stuff is totally frowned upon. Because it becomes difficult to differentiate between a guy who works really hard and a guy who just pops some steroids. But there are some pieces of the eye test.

Like John Jones had a particular – it almost looked like a pimple with no head in his abdomen and it would stay like a like a like i hear you and uh apparently you get that from injecting your belly with steroids like that's a thing that happens did you hear chael's story about john hiding under the octagon at the gym until until the lights were turned off and the parking lot was empty to make sure you saw it gone. He had to piss under the octagon? Yeah. Wait, what? The testing people showed up to the gym where

John Jones is. This was a time before you had to always keep them notified of your current location. He was like, oh, USADA's here. I'm hiding. He hides under the octagon. Lifts the skirts up or whatever. Crawls under there and chills out for hours because they hang around yeah for eight hours until you until the lights get turned off and they lock the doors up everyone leaves and usada is gone for sure and

then and only then does he come out from under the octagon and like escape man what an asshole like no really like he is such an asshole after uh like i really didn't have a dog in the fight but i liked daniel cormier more when i saw his interviews both before and afterward when i watch him post fight and he seems just like a good guy who wanted to fight his best to do his best and prove that he was the best and then for John Jones out there to like tweet like last time he said the excuse was steroids what's the excuse gonna be this time it's like a picture him working out and it's like you have to be a bona fide cunt to tweet something like that as you have a needle in your ass injecting yourself with steroids like you're you're you're not a good person you're an. You're an asshole.

You're an asshole. I thought he wasn't on steroids the second fight. I watched this interview shortly after the fight, and he's like, you know, I beat him this, I beat him that. I beat him when I was off of steroids, and then I beat him when I was off of steroids again. And I'm like, what? I think you were about to say on and off.

I think that's what you were thinking. Brendan Schwab laid out the nightmare scenario for Daniel Cormier. I don't know if you heard him say this. He's like, imagine this happens. USADA comes in and they're like, oh, it's a tainted supplement. Six months suspension. Daniel, here's your belt back. Six months pass. Jones, here's your belt back. Six months pass.

Jones is coming back for it. Wabam! Daniel cries in the octagon again. Like, I just can't beat him. It's not really a rivalry. Time, yes. He's steroids, though. I didn't like making fun of him for crying because he just had the cuss.

You know, like the part of his brain that controls the emotions has just been rattle. Yeah, I wouldn't make fun of him for crying because he just had been cussed. You know, like the part of his brain that controls the emotions has just been rattled. Yeah, I wouldn't make fun of him for that. He's way tougher than me. So I've never been, I guess I have been knocked out, but I've never been knocked out in a fight. I got knocked out by a basketball, which is way cooler. And anyway, so Joe Rogan was asking Brandon Schwab, you know, about it. Like, what's it like to be out cold cold in La La Land and stuff and he said that as you come to

people react two ways some people get really emotional and they cry and they're upset and stuff, other people come back and they're really angry irrationally angry, they feel like they've been wronged or like I don't want to say discredited, but like

treated badly in some way, unfairly and so i took that and applied it to the dc fight and it's like right you know this guy was just knocked out he was knocked out and uh he comes to and he's very very very sad he's distraught and it's like right well yeah i guess that happens he's been concussed he doesn't have the same sort of he he can't just man up, right? There's a chemical craziness happening in him right now. Yeah, there's different kinds of knockouts. There's little flash knockouts where the guy's legs come out from under him. Like Jose Aldo, I feel like that was kind of a flash knockout.

He ate that left punch. He fell to the ground, but he was still kind of with it, and then he eats the hammer fist, and you've got to bring him off of him. But if he'd stop those hammer fists and go, Jose, are you there? He went of you know he was he was almost there when daniel got kicked in the head it was like you turned him off he he he was he was not there at all he it was it was a bad and it's a it's a chin to the fucking head and the man delivering it is no slouch right like maybe that leg is like four or five feet long

it's it's not like a bat anymore it's like a boat paddle he fucking took one there's a thing about hits um it's not always just about how hard you throw it it's about what i was doing right like you might throw a really hard shot as i'm leaning back and i don't get the same impact but if there's that collision where i'm coming into your hit and you're hitting me which is what he was he was ducking or something like apparently dc has had a tendency for years to duck to that side and uh did you see the interview with them about it no but i watched a lot of analysis and i i even watched like way back where like jones is telling he's like i'm cormier's telling jones like i know what you think you're gonna do to me but i that's not gonna happen anymore i don't do that anymore and and jones set it up the leg kicks and the body kicks you know it's leg kick body and so dc's trying to hands down moving like that

and the kick is just right into the collide probably people don't want an hour uc type yeah dc was like if you think i'm still gonna duck to the left that's gonna get all cleaned up by the time i face you. I got six months to work on it or something. And then sure enough, the kick was there for him. And now he's champ again. Is it official? He will be. I just meant, like, was the...

Yeah. I wonder, like... Well, no, but he doesn't get to stay champ, right? Yeah, he does. Because he tested for steroids, and so you give it to the other guy. No, no know the other guy DC is the champ now that's what he's saying oh okay yeah the belt switch they say and and I'm now I'm trying to think like was it Dana that actually said that or was that just everyone saying it was what was gonna happen I'm not sure yeah I'm not either it's it's gonna be weird Schwab and Nate Diaz like get into it kind of diaz is an asshole yeah well i'm told in person

he's nice i mean that was in person right like rich schwab was right there fair point you know what joe lozano's friends with nate diaz and nick and and you see him and you're like man these guys they act like jerks and this and that like they just they keep doing these things that to me are unforgivable and joe is like yeah if you spend time with them you would love these guys they are wonderful human beings but um i don't know this is sort of set it up a little bit here's what here's what went down um brendan schwab was brought in as like an analyst for showtime and repeatedly he would talk about connor's chances in this fight saying you know he's going to do well he's got the son of orthodox style just laying out the things that Conor had going for him headed into the fight he sees Nate Diaz afterwards and in his head he's like and so

Conor just lost he's like I'm pretty good at marketing and he is right he's got this podcast whatever and and you know he did really well in uh sponsors and stuff even when he was a fighter he's like I'm gonna tell like hey we're UFC same fraternity we like each other i'm gonna give this guy my thoughts on the next play right because nate diaz is charismatic to some but not really a strategic thinker and uh brendan's like i'm gonna tell him hey you see what mayweather just did to connor i'm gonna do it faster connor put up a what Mayweather just did to Conor? I'm going to do it faster. Conor put up a good fight in there, but I can do even better. I'm the guy, et cetera.

Don't trash Conor. Build him up and then build yourself up. That's the move here. So he's trying to say that to Nate. Nate's not having it. Nate's just saying, fuck you. I bet you feel stupid now. It's okay.

Don't feel bad, bro. You just don't know what you're talking about. It's not your fault. Flipping him off. And they're in a hallway packed with people and there's a camera crew behind Schwab. Schwab's wearing skinny jeans and he's, if you see his Gucci shoes, he's gone too far. He's off the fucking rails.

He's off the fucking rails with those shoes. I like his style and I might even be able to get on board skinny jeans if i had those legs they're a cross between converse all-stars and dorothy's ruby red slippers they look like you know how elton john style is with the sounds expensive crazy son oh probably a three thousand i think he got paid to wear them yeah maybe but but but they're just silly they're just silly they've got like a golden

bee on them and like a silver game of thrones style buckle on the on the like the top they're they're lame i i'm not in you've gone too far like a like a basketball playing pilgrim yeah mixed with dollars yeah yeah it's just absurd and uh and so he's like and he's like what are you doing right now nate like like you're trying to and he's like, what are you doing right now, Nate? And he's like, I step away and the Showtime guys are like, who the fuck was that guy? And he's like, that's the guy who fought Counter-Last.

That's it. I thought it was some disgruntled janitor or something. But what really ticked him off was Schwab couldn't understand him. And in the video, Nate, you can't understand him to the point where even Nate went back and put subtitles on the Instagram clip. Because, like, Nate has a lisp. And he doesn't open his mouth.

And it's clear he's never gotten any speech therapy for it. Schwarzenegger spent years in speech therapy to try to speak well and enunciate properly. Nate's not bothering with that shit. And the blows to the head seem to be making it worse over the years. So, like, I have to focus on Nate. And I'm someone who's good at hearing people who speak under their breath and mumble and shit. I got to focus on Nate to hear him. So, in that crowded hallway, Schwab is like, I can't understand a word you're saying. Use your

words. And apparently that really pushed him over the edge. To me, he made a fool of himself. I didn't like him being in Mayweather's locker room beforehand and all that shit. I understand playing the bad guy, but don't play the scumbag.

I mean, you don't have a comeback for a user. Taylor, your internet connection is I understand playing the bad guy, but don't play the scumbag. I mean, you don't have to come back for it. Taylor, your internet connection is a robot-y. But while Taylor waits for his internet to come back, is use your words an insult? Yeah. I said that two weeks ago, and I didn't mean it as an insult. It depends on the scenario. It depends on what's going on. You want it i yeah i'd like to hear yours so i'm at the siv course

and um someone had just landed in the lake and so they bring them back and there's a wing the wing's normally pretty light but because it's all wet you know how much heavier a towel gets it's a similar scenario and uh the instructor like walks over to the boat and he's carrying any like the boat people hand it to him so now it's on land and then he turns around i don't know if he's going to walk it up the beach which would be a reasonable thing or he's going to hand it off and uh i don't know if he likes he doesn't say anything, but it's obviously now he's pissed off at me. And I don't know why. Like, I didn't do anything.

And I'm like, do you want me to carry that? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, well, just ask. Use your words, you know, and I'll do it. And other people laughed, which made me feel vindicated. But maybe it's not what I wanted. I want him to know you're good there. You're good there.

No, you're fine. Am I OK? Yes. Yeah, you're good there. You're good there. No, you're fine there. Wait, am I okay? Yes. Yeah, you're good now. Are you hearing me okay? Yeah, that's fine, but it's an insult to do it to Nate Diaz because Nate Diaz, or Nick Diaz, whichever one it was, has a speech impediment.

And so if you're going to be talking shit, you know, as aggressively as those Diaz brothers do, you better be prepared for the one bullet that every single person you talk shit about is going to fire back at you which is going to be hey you don't speak very well for someone this arrogant do you would you like to use your words better articulate the extent to which you're going to beat my ass is that what you're going to do before you blow all your money and then go back to Mexico and then relive the glory days of all your loser friends

is that what you're going to do come on like use your words idiot like that's what you would want to say and the fact that he doesn't have the ability to respond to that shows that he wasn't really in it he was just in it to throw jabs and then retreat because he wasn't looking for a real spot i've had arguments with girlfriends where they would just stop talking and that's when i would use it like i would let i would i would talk for like a solid two minutes like like look this is what happened and this is what you didn't and this is what i said and you gotta understand when i said that i'm thinking that this was the scenario. Clearly it wasn't.

And I apologize for that, but you gotta come, you gotta understand where I'm coming from here. Right. And then nothing. And I'm just like, come on, come on,

use your words, use your words. Come on, come on. You gotta, you gotta bounce. This is, this is,

this is an exchange, right? Like I give you something, you give me something back. Like, like what? That's when I've used it. No, what you do is you say, so you're understanding what I'm saying.

And that will force them to speak or to admit that what you said is correct. That sounds pretty good, yeah. That's not a bad move. Two things. One, my daughter does that too. And not anymore. Now she's like in college and getting more mature and stuff. But like the 16-year-old version of her.

I'd fuss at her and you know like these are the reasons i'm not happy with where we are right now and then she'd just be like oh well it's not good that you feel that way and i'm like no no no no no no we need to have an exchange of ideas until we arrive at like a common place here you can't just she's like what what did i say that could possibly get you mad you disengaged you awful daughter that's what you did don't act like you don't know a game you're like i'm not so dumb i don't see your ruse the other thing i was listening to taylor mock talk against nate diaz i don't wish for you to fight nate diaz i don't like the way that ends but the pre-fight build-up and the wolf tickets that you sell would be outstanding. Taylor would make a great fighter, except for the fighting part.

Yeah, you want to fuck with Nate Diaz. Let me talk shit on behalf of a really strong Bulgarian mute. Like a designated runner, you know? Put you in there with a beat. He's going to beat your ass. You better believe it. No, not me not me guarded plexiglass box the entire time

i would love to see someone do that that'd be so fun like like if someone would just admit that they're outclassed in the trash talk game and and you know here comes taylor and he would just line it all up that would be. That would be a lot of fun. And you wouldn't have to get your ass beat. It almost reminds me of the Key and Peele sketch where the guy was Obama's anger translator. Obama says something like straight lace and then the translator is just blowing up behind. Do you see the White House

Correspondents Dinner where they get to do it together like Obama is there and then they bring in, I don't know if it's Key, I think it's Peele. Key or Peele, it's one of them yeah bring in key or peel whichever the one not the one who directed the movie the one who's bald they bring him in and he's back there luther his aunt obama's like i brought in luther my uh anger translator and he's gonna be helping me out today and luther's back there with all this like a ring on every finger his fingers across bug-eyed like yeah yo, yeah, yo, I'm here! And it was hilarious,

because the best part is like, and that's why we're running for a third term! And Obama's like, no, no, we're not. And we're like, we're not? All right, then. My wife was fussing about Trump today, and she was being unfair. She's like, did you see that he went to Houston? And, you know, like, they don't need him there, and all his security is there.

I'm like, honey, that's a can't win situation that's a rough one but w didn't go to katrina and they all gave him a hard time about it trump did go and and now you give him no like look i don't know i don't know what the right answer is for that but i know that like there's two wrong ones so i give him a pass i i thought he did a good job he i saw him like standing on a fire truck with a texas flag like saying you know we're gonna we're gonna get you back to go we're gonna get this back on track if anybody can handle this it's texans you know he spoke pretty well uh for for trump you know i'm such an asshole i'll explain why i feel like if there's any place where you're like oh no no government assistance for you

oh ted cruz yes i do remember when hurricane sandy hit new jersey and new york city and you voted against helping them well guess how we're voting same way you did you fuckhead and it like like oh you know like this is to me texas is like the state next to Alaska and Wyoming that defines we don't need no government help. Let's find a capitalism solution for this. Okay. All right. Let's try it. You don't want to do that because Ted Cruz will enslave the...

He'll go into Mexico. He'll come out with 50,000 Mexican slaves. That seems like it would exacerbate the situation. You're going to bring 50,000 Mexicans into a flooded Houston to fix the... Kyle, I would... I'm not... You know, I love you, but I'm not getting that boat for you. 50,000 Mexicans with a bucket?

They're aquatic. Okay, one bucket, that's all you need. And then on the way out... They're aquatic because they're wetbacks. You have 50,000 big, beautiful buckets. Where are they going to bail the water to? Well, they

build a wall and then they throw it over the other side of the wall into Mexico. Mexico gets water. And so it's really a win-win. Mexico does need water. Yeah. I would guess the part of Mexico next to the flooding is okay on water right now, but I don't know.

That makes sense. They're probably not in favor of water. I saw something today when I just clicked on Twitter this morning to see what the new hurricane updates were. Apparently, it was a huge story about Melania Trump's shoes. People were like, hey, you shouldn't be wearing heels here. And then eventually

she switched to the tennis shoes. Did you guys see that today? I didn't. It was like the biggest topic on Twitter at one point was it was a picture of Melania wearing high-heeled shoes walking into Houston with Donald Trump. It was so many people just like, how fucking disrespectful point was it was a picture of melania wearing high-heeled shoes walking you know into houston with donald trump but it was so many people just like how fucking disrespectful to the victims of the flood to wear stilettos and people were just fucking furious and then of course there's like

the other side of it of like the annoying part of twitter where people pretend that there's a phantom out there that doesn't actually exist and they argue against that guy like the extreme straw man with all these liberals saying Melania should be hanged for her choice of shoes aren't actual Americans who want freedom and it's like I haven't seen any of these folks but I guess I'll take your word for it but it just was such a silly thing to see as people are dying and struggling all over the place is shoes. CNN was running a story on Melania's shoes. Melania is still trending on Twitter from this morning.

CNN. Did they really run a story? No, I guess Fox didn't. The Hill. HuffPo. I've been watching YouTube so all my hurricane news is like 18 hours old. It's all about yesterday's shit.

You don't have CNN? Well, the CNN actually, I think they broadcast on their website. Like they just keep going. I watch it on Sling. When I use Sling, it almost always stays on CNN. I usually keep it muted kind of in the background and I'll watch it. Because it's breaking news. That's just like the name of a show, I think.

Welcome to the breaking news show. They don't name of a show i think and they're like welcome to the breaking they don't actually break news on tv anymore you know one thing i don't like about cnn's political coverage is they often have panels with like seven people on them and it just becomes a big like compete for airtime kind of it's a fucking hollywood squares over there on cnn it's not working for me give me your your you know in-depth perspective in nine words or less yeah okay well is that what we're doing we're all gonna agree thank you next they'll have people that disagree too but i yeah i don't i don't really get any effective information out of it whereas like the opposite of that is like rachel maddow who just spends 20 minutes laying out and setting up her point but the i don't feel like she often gets debunked

but i am always suspicious about some like like all right see this guy he went to russia working with unicef and he built this hut take that park it here we're going to revisit it and i'm like really is this a big scheme that's been in place forever she's she's the liberal uh um glenn beck where they do that thing where they have like push pins and and drawings and they're like and we're gonna get from here when we say obama what's the last word there a a is for antichrist no glenn beck would literally make ship up make shit about a whole whole cloth she's i don't think she's often debunked in terms of like her facts you know it all lines up i just feel like she i just have to believe she's painting a picture out of some unrelated things whereas glenn beck he i i watched him he literally

like there was wheat on the side of a building and then he tied in wheat to the sickle on the russian flag and then he said you know that this proves that the people work in this building are working with communism and whatever and they were just like that's of course it would you say i'll never forget when he explained prove to me it doesn't mean they're communists in that wheat building. I remember when he was explaining Fukushima, the nuclear disaster in Japan, by using pots

and skittles. He had a couple of cooking pots within each other and then skittles poured in. I was like, I can't dispute this right now glenn because i don't know very much i know how it works i know that you know we put the rods in there and it heats the water up and the steam turns the turbines that makes the electricity but

i i don't know about these skittles and pots like it's like when like part one breaks we don't lose any skittles at all and i was like i don know about that. Doesn't it just kind of leak out through the air and, like, radiate? Well, it's like the Discovery Channel, like, the way that they will, like, obviously none of us are going to turn on Discovery Channel and just start getting theoretical physics or astroparticle acceleration or whatever. But they take the examples and they go so stupid with it that in the middle of the example, I'm like, I'm smarter than this guy. He could have given me something better. I'm not even getting it. This is so stupid. He's like, imagine the universe

is nothing more than a Reese's peanut butter cup in a hefty bag. If you were to stretch the bag to the length of the universe, it would be an exceptionally long bag. But the Reese's peanut butter cup in the middle the length of the universe, it would be an exceptionally long bag. The Reese's peanut butter cup in the middle would remain intact until the spatial amount

of bag. And it's like, what? No, no. Just saying. This is like the internet is a series of tubes. That level of shit. What in God's name? I remember him saying that the internet needed more regulation because it was taking him three days to get an email. And it was just like, oh, he's like, yeah, the tubes get clogged, the email doesn't come.

And I was like, no, no, my God. I'm sure he wasn't, like, kidding. The tubes keep coming. Yes. Because I know what you're talking about. We've talked about it before. But it's so asinine. It's so backwards.

And, like, I hear people all the time talk out of school like when we're you know private conversations i was talking to some people the other day who weren't very informed about how an icbm worked and i was like look like they're shooting missiles but they don't have the technology to shrink their atomic bombs down small enough to put them on the missiles yet that's the big thing i was like and then once the missile gets into space they were like space why would they shoot it into space i was like because that's how it fucking works they shoot it into space and then it arcs back down and then it has to find where it wants to go and then it has to explode at a certain altitude like this every step of this of the way is

incredibly complex like like that's what our space program was about you know like was getting this technology perfected i was like i don't think we have to worry about them hitting the mainland accurately with a new hydrogen bomb i mean if you're in guam okay maybe eventually but not with nukes you might be right but um i was watching a news report i forget which one it was but they they were like look as far as we know you know that they have nuclear weapons and they have icbms but they can't get that like you said they can't get the nuclear was drunk enough to get it on a missile yet and then they're like having said that they've been surprising us a lot recently you know their missiles were a whole lot better than we knew they were and their nuclear technology is a whole lot better than we knew it was that,

you know, when you go to most of these other countries, Iran, Russia, et cetera, they have so many ties with so many countries that the secrets get out. North Korea is one of the few that is just really a black hole. And,

and, you know, we don't have much insight into what's going on there. Whereas other companies, countries can't keep secrets. So, so yeah, Kyle, you know, we don't have much insight into what's going on there, whereas other countries can't keep secrets. So, yeah, Kyle, you're probably right. I heard you were right. But it's also hard to know. Yeah.

China's got way more knowledge than they're letting on what really happens there. China really wants to keep that dog on a leash. You can tell. They've been cutting off the coal and copper ore and iron ore and lead imports from North Korea. They're not taking them. Officially. So you might be right. So what happened recently was they increased the sanctions. That now covers more things than it used to with the trade between China and North Korea. The thing is China ignored those sanctions before. So now that they've they have more sanctions, will they ignore those too? It'll take

some time to figure it out. What I read was that China was doing their own thing. They had cut off the shipments of things coming into China from North Korea. They had stopped taking their... those things I mentioned specifically, like you know, it sounds like it's iron and lead and copper, it was raw metals and stuff and ore that needed smelting. But who knows? Like you said, the Chinese, they're about as secretive and tricksy as anybody, I guess. And they got good reason to be.

Some of it is just related to how... Obviously, the businesses want to do it. The question is, will China crack down on its own businesses? You've never been afraid to before they didn't before like you know i'm not saying they were afraid to but yeah so anyway we'll see how this thing works out uh it you see the path of the missile yeah it was when they said it went over a japanese island in my head i thought like you know how the alaska has the illusion islands those tiny little tail of islands i was like oh okay they kind of shot it over some

like bullshit uninhabited rock that japan owns and and and this is cnn blowing this out of proportion nah they shot that shit right it's an island middle of japan yeah sure it's an island but it's it's very similar in size to the rest of the japanese island like it's a big chunk of japan yeah sure it's an island but it's it's very similar in size to the rest of the japanese island like it's a big chunk of japan that it went over like it's a big fucking chunk they shot it right over like the top three quarters of japan we're like in bomb shelters and shit like all day in japan in that area it's sirens and yeah yeah yeah and interesting enough they don't fuck around with bombs anymore. They take that very, very seriously. I wonder why.

So the day I saw CNN... It's a puzzler. CNN likes to tout this. They have the only embedded journalist in North Korea. And they got this dude there in North Korea. And you can hear the music playing in the background that just plays in those cities. It's creepy as fuck.

And he goes over to a big propaganda board. And it's like mobile missile launchers shooting mainland united states and the u.s is all in fire and stuff and it says we now have the ability to hit the entire mainland of america like that's what the big poster says i mean it's a billboard not a poster it's massive and they said that that they had been told not to tell any of the north korean citizens about that missile launch or anything about it. Like, the North Koreans do not know that that just happened, that they just shot a missile over Japan, and that millions of Japanese woke up to sirens and went into bunkers and shit.

Like, the North Koreans don't know. Wow. Well, that's not that surprising. Like, they're kind of kept in the dark with everything until a USB falls in from a balloon. Well, it seems like usually with these tests and stuff, they're kind of kept in the dark with everything until a USB falls in from a balloon. Well, it seems like usually with these tests and stuff, they're like, ah, the great supreme leader has thumbed his nose in the face of the American imperialists once again, showing his power. And they brag about it. I thought it went the

other way. Not that they didn't know, but that they told them stuff even past what was true. Now, maybe that's the secret. Like a missile launching over Japan. We've been telling them we could do that for 15 years now that that's a good point maybe maybe that's true uh i saw that the missile launch mission of both yeah it's it's fucking it's a scary place over there i i i think the only and who knows but the only the only thing i can see that they can do is killing the guy. Like, taking out the whole Kim family.

The Kim guy has to go. It seems like if they could make a deal with a general and be like, look, be a dictator, but don't be a cunt. Like, you can still do your deals with China. Like, do your military exercises. But get rid of the extermination camps and the concentration camps. Like, let the UN in to make sure that humanitarian aid is being given. Your people are a full three inches

shorter than their southern counterparts. There's a reason for that, dude. You need some nutrition up in there. We want what's best for you. Put Christie in charge. There you go. See, you know... She ate all the food. They think that he is a god

because of his weight, for one. And I think that he's just the level of sliminess we need to get that shit under control and also have the citizens not think like, oh, this is just another American. They'd at least see him

and be like, okay, he's fat. Our old guy was fat. He's doing a lot of the same shit we get more food now really i think i could run north korea better than kim jong-un i used to i think either of you could run north korea better than kim jong-un like i'd look at it wasn't north korea in my head it was always these like really failed african states i'm like what if they just brought an american in there who was used to not corruption who expected people to pay taxes and just lay it out like that you know explain to people like look you have to pay taxes we're making things better see these new roads see this see this health care like i'm sure it's much more difficult we have to pay taxes so you can get health care and everything why do you make me share the albino blood I have

worked so hard for with those who do not even pay for their own albino blood? I will not do this. I will not do this. I just want to be left alone. Leave me alone. You don't understand. It's a matter of personal responsibility. You have to buy your albino blood.

Well, I can buy for you. You're going to be able to keep your albino blood. Well, I can promise you this. You're going to be able to keep your albino blood. That poor guy. What'd you say? They got a lot to work through over there. They got to get their albino blood situation sorted. They got the AIDS thing going on. They got a lot of problems

before they even start worrying about how to run an actual democracy. You got a little AIDS, you live in a mud hut And 15 children What's wrong? When I see a little girl with her clit I get very upset Oh god I'm still freaked out by the fact that Nigeria

Is going to have a bigger population than America In something like 25 years. Who cares though, right? Oh, I don't really care. I guarantee each of our people is making like 50 times the GDP of one Nigerian, right? There are enough civilizations to know that eventually you have more citizens in and that just increases your ability to be productive. Yes, but not if you don't have enough food to feed them. Then your entire empire gets unhappy,

and those people start dying off. High-quality citizens, not labor specialists. India right now is growing at a tremendous rate, and they have lots of low-quality citizens. They have the whole caste that used to be untouchable and whatever. And here they are. People are projecting that they're gonna have a bigger gdp than china in 20 years or something like that yeah that new president of theirs is from the lowest class uh cast and i think that uh that like his big thing is toilets he's the toilet president he's like a toilet for a toilet for every man woman and child not each no no no no

like he's like don't be ridiculous they're never being said they're they're shitting everywhere and like when i see that like like i i don't understand why like you don't see that in mainstream media why don't they why they don't call these countries out for the fact that they shit everywhere like like throw that out there every now and then these are the people we're talking about like they shit up they they're just shitting in the streets and like wiping their dude if i went to me if i went to memphis and everyone in memphis shit in the street i'd be like what what the fuck is happening in memphis like i'm never coming back i'm never coming back if it happened in new orleans well i guess it kind of did happen in new orleans like if there

was one place in the country that's the closest but yeah you're right we need we need a little more shame on the world stage about shitting in streets because i think that's something that everybody can get behind is that you don't want to be in a shitty street oh yeah and there's an easy solution for it i think like like like you don't even have to have this whole infrastructure thing where like we're putting in plumbing like at first you just have one of those hospital like shitters right the thing where it's like a chair with a bag that attaches underneath and like everybody could be like having their bags of shit maybe they get a whole program where they use it for fuel those people shit enough they could they could replace like 10 of their energy uh needs with burning shit people shit enough do you do not burn

supernatural shitting powers to indians well indian have you ever had indian food woody i have it produces some volatile shit like like that is some high octane shit i feel like an indian shit could power your car for five ten miles at least do not do not burn human do not burn human feces for energy you can't unless you want to be inhaling human shit particulate like yeah you can you can burn a lot ofces for energy you can't unless you want to be inhaling human shit particulate like yeah you can you can burn a lot of things for energy it's not good to be near can you squeeze it and drink it because i've watched a lot of uh bear grills he often drinks the dung water he's got this big double handful of elephant shit or maybe it's

rhino shit it's one or the other but i remember he like holds it above his head and rings it out into his mouth like it's like a like like it's like delicious like like it's coconut water coming coconut milk coming out of like oh and anybody can do that with a rhino or an elephant i want to see him do it with like a meat heavy diet diet. Like, ringing out cat shit. One dark brown drop that's oily, like, falls right on his tongue, and he immediately vomits. It wasn't worth it! It wasn't worth it at all! I've got my daily ammonia!

You guys want to call it a show? Yeah. On cat shit. PKN 158. Par for the course.