Painkiller Already - PKN #160

Episode Date: September 22, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

We missed your bad word. It didn't happen. PKN episode 160. Rick and Morty talk. Yeah man, so we had a bye week so we had to go a week without Rick and Morty. But last night we got the supposed Atlantis adventure, but it was all a big misdirect of course. We go to the Citadel of Rick and we get to see one of the most referential episodes thus far. You got Stand By Me. You got Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You got Training Day. You had Back to the Future reference,

and that's just the name of it. The entire show is a Back to the Future reference. Well, you got Marty McFly, Morty, as a character in there. You got House of Cards referenced. The list goes on. And of course we get the return of evil Morty taking over and we get to see what this

big bad of this season, the point of this season, the overall arc is going to lead to. I thought it was the best episode of this season for sure. Probably one of my favorite episodes ever. One of your critiques like of the season earlier was like how referential it is did that bother you with this one because there were so many references and you know the references i love the references what i don't like is when an

entire episode is just a parody and and and there's a difference between being referential and being a parody of something like like. This episode used references to tell the story within their own arc and within their own sort of narrative. Whereas some of the previous episodes, it's like, oh, well, this is just copying something I've already seen before from beginning to end. Okay. Just putting Rick and Morty in The Thing or Rick and Morty in Wolf of Wall Street. Was it a funny Rick and Morty or was it like sad or

quote unquote deep or dark or whatever? Sad, deep, and dark. Was it funny as well or was it not one of those? There was a laugh here and there but it was mostly about getting the story told and showing you a lot of the behind the scenes, not behind the scenes of the show, but stuff that you might have been

curious about. You got to see many, many iterations of Rick and Morty because you're at the citadel of Rick where there are tens of thousands of each. You remember the politician from years ago, the rent is too damn high! The rent is too damn high, Rick, of course, and there's

some shots of the current political, or the previous political race in there. It was really interesting. You got to see, basically, Evil Rick, or Evil Morty, rise to power and become the president of the Citadel. And I really, really liked it. I liked the misdirect, too, because they, on their website, it said, you know, this is the Atlantis episode. And I was like oh okay well that's another like one-off it might not even necessarily be necessarily be our rick and morty could be any rick and morty just going to atlantis and uh the only tidbit you got out of

that was that when they returned from atlantis and you don't see atlantis ever you just see them splash through the portal with their flippies on and water comes out. And he's like, yeah, that mermaid puss! And Morty's like, oh, I hope we go back. I really liked her. He's like, oh, we are. We're going back every week for some more of that mermaid puss. And it's like, oh, okay. Morty lost his virginity this episode. I mean, he fucked that sex bot, you know,

a season or two ago, but that doesn't count. That wasn't alive. I mean, but does fucking a fish count? Mm-hmm. You think so? You qualify that? If half of it's human. Okay. I mean, that's pretty generous. Pretty uncharted territory. Maybe you should count his half. He lost half of his virginity. There he is. He's got half of it left. It's like, I guess it's like anal sex for a girl. Like, you totally had sex, but I guess your hymen's still intact, so we'll go with it. That's a workaround for God. Like, you totally had sex, but I guess your hymen's still intact, so we'll go with it. That's a workaround for God.

Like, just because God only has a censor for the vagina. I think Leviticus has something to say about bestiality that would come into play here with the mermaid sex. So probably God wouldn't look upon that smilingly either. Well, God wouldn't look upon blowjobs or any kind of anal sex fondly since that's all uh sodomy that's true that's absolutely true yes can you imagine how god god must have been in a shit mood that day when he was making those rules because it's like you know that you've been watching humans all day every day all the time you know these are their favorite things to do like humans love sodomy and then like you pretend like all of it is bad sodomy no like there's lots of good sodomy out there lots of good anal between consenting partners lots of good blow jobs and

eating out you know it's a lot of fun but not for god maybe god's bad at it maybe that's why so he's just fucking lonely. As far as I know, God has only had sex once, and he had to sneak into some other guy's house to make it happen and trick her with a light show. And he had to send his wingman in anyway, right? A literal wingman. He sends the angel in to fucking, hey, big boss is going to be swinging by in a few minutes.

Make him happy. That's the only time we know that God's ever had sex. So I think he's just a bad lay, and that's what all that shit's about. Maybe also a bad cook. That's why he wouldn't allow shellfish or pork, because he

couldn't get it right. That definitely goes back to the super... You know, back in the old days, when the food preparation and stuff and those are filthy animals right yeah it's definitely easier to get sick back then yeah i saw uh i don't know what where it was it was probably on reddit or twitter but i saw this uh this post like a food post from this girl and it was pictures of chicken tenderloin that you can buy and she was like i've never tried my chicken uh medium rare before it's great so i was like oh my god like you are you're in for a bruising in the bathroom if not an actual hospital visit from just a loss of fluids from vomiting and shitting so i'm like how stupid do you have to be you deserve it she would love my

chicken sushi I swear I think I've seen that post as well like those people don't deserve to be warned there's this maybe it's just innate in human beings that like when you see someone fucking up or when you see someone who has a slight bit of ignorance that you don't have, you want to be, oh, oh, oh, look, I know what you're doing is wrong.

Here's the real answer. No, you got it all wrong. It's this way. We all need to rein that back a little bit and let these people die. When you see that person texting into traffic, just go, eh, and watch. Just just watch just watch it go down there's no seinfeld laws in real life just let them walk into the traffic and and by the same rights oh they're walking i thought they were driving in this scenario and i'm like you know you're really taking risks with other people yeah that's what you. You rear in that other poor lady. You know, who doesn't do anything.

But I'm vindicated. So when I see someone eating chicken sushi or whatever, I'm not tempted to type anything. Oh yeah, it's really good, huh? Yeah, mm-hmm, enjoy. I mean, yeah, you do have to be pretty stupid to eat raw chicken.

Not stupid. Uneducated, right? Like, I suppose they're one and the same in a bit, but do have to be pretty stupid to eat raw chicken that's stupid uneducated right like like i suppose they're one in the same in a bit but there are things that you have to be taught you know like oh you can eat raw cow but you can't eat raw chicken that's not intuitive to me that's something that i have to learn from someone telling me that's fair i'm just so used to seeing on every package of chicken i've ever seen like do, do not consume like this! You gotta cook it! You gotta cook it! That's the way it is. It doesn't say that on fish

containers, usually. And if it does, they're just hedging their bets. Because you could eat a piece of salmon raw and feel fine. Well, maybe not feel fine if you eat gorge on a giant... You can eat beef raw. You can eat beef tartare. You can eat it raw. Just take it beef tartare. You can eat it raw.

Just take it. It doesn't matter. Rick and Morty talk did not last that long, now did it? Three minutes. What did you think? You know, so people are saying it's literally the single best episode out of all of them so far. This is the best episode of Rick and Morty that's ever been. And I watched it and I thought it was good.

But maybe I just have an unrefined Rick palette or something. Because I kind of like all the episodes. I liked Pickle Rick as much as this one. I'll get that this one kind of made me pay more attention. But that scene at the end where Rick insults the therapist and the therapist sort of lays out who Rick is and and why like the whole family uses their intelligence as both a crutch and a curse and the whole like that was deep real talk that i liked a lot this one maybe didn't have as deep moments to me as that one did but it had plenty of dark twists and the whole i haven't seen aside from the divorce stuff the greater narrative progress

much you know like what's going on with all these Ricks and Mortys in the other universes until this episode maybe that's what people like so much I don't know which one is this like how many more left seven this was seven yeah yeah so there's two or three left I had Sam Elliott in there narrating

for the simple Rick stuff over at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I thought that was cool they're manufacturing this candy bar by keeping this one Rick in a state of coma while he's on a loop remembering his happiest memory, and then they take his brain juice and put

a little bit in every bar. Sam Elliott's narrating the commercial for that. I love all the movies that were referenced, so when I see the Training Day reference, I'm like, oh, this is is awesome the fucking training day morty morty's denzel washington and then i see the stand by me thing with like river phoenix and the whole gang and like like each of them looks like they're uh characters from that movie i that that really gets it done for me i enjoyed that uh i liked um who's the who's the Apple guy who died of cancer because he stopped? Steve Jobs. Yeah,

Steve Jobs, Rick. That was kind of funny. I like seeing him. There's a little bit of a teaser that, you know, there's this ongoing theory, fan theory that I guess I shared that Rick and Morty are the same person. That when Morty grows up, he becomes a Rick. That they're not grandfather and grandson, they are one and the same uh and and so like you kind of you see two hints at that there's the part where a baby morty is handed over and he's like and it looks just like rick and there's a part where there is a retarded rick in the uh in the school in the like the uh hogwarts style school where the the mortys are trained to like go to new ricks who have lost their mortys for one mishap or another and so there's the retarded rick in there did they call him retarded in any way like to me they call him

simple rick and he's truly and he's and he's he's big he's a full-grown adult crammed into a child's uh desk and he's like did i graduate this time like there's a classroom that trains mortis to be mortis and there's a rick in there simple rick and uh so yeah i don't know it and so that's supposed to be a hint that they're the same person you think well the hint is that the teacher which is a snape uh from uh harry potter ripoff he slips up at first and he calls him big morty instead of uh tall instead of tall rick uh and he quickly corrects himself so there's there's two of those little references in that episode they don't write something without having a meaning they're this thing is full of little if you know you look at the background of any big shot where there are lots of characters and you

see how many little hints and clues to like random shit there are they hide testicles and penises and vaginas everywhere when it whenever there's like a an alien landscape or something so like yeah i feel like they don't they don't do a good job of hiding those dicks and vaginas and boobs because like like you know the south park episode where uh kenny goes to like boobtopia or whatever when he's sniffing the cat pee and he gets high and, like, all the spires are, like, Aladdin style but with a nipple on the top. Yeah. And all the, like, soldiers have, like, big tits even if they're, like, ogre looking things. Everything just has tits. Yeah. That is equally subtle to most of the Rick and Morty landscapes, where it'll just be a giant ball sack,

but then just a weird spine on the side, so they can be like, ah, it's not a ball sack, it's something else. I could be on the wrong path with the analogy, but there was a Rick who was a Morty, and then there was a Morty who was a Rick to me. That's how I saw it, the evil Morty. And I'm like, is there

some connection between them? A swap-a-roo of some sort? I don't know. Just the opposite of every other pair, where the Morty was super smart and the Rick was super dumb. I'm probably wrong, because I haven't seen this theory floated anywhere else. If you're driving on the highway

and everyone else is going the opposite direction, probably not everyone else is wrong. But yeah, there's a Morty who runs for president, and he's every bit as clever as a Rick, it would seem, Evil Morty. And then there's a Rick in the classroom who's every bit as dumb as a Morty. And I'm like, oh, look, they swapped those two. There's a Rick and a Morty body and a Morty and a Rick body. But no one else says that, so I don't know. That makes more sense to me than that he's the same person. You remember Evil Morty though, right?

Yeah, sure. Well, you could see his dossier at the end of the last few screenshots. But you remember his previous episode where he used all the other Mortys as cover. He pushes the wires back like Taylor said. Sure, I remember Evil Morty. What's Evil Morty's backstory, though? You don't know. It's completely mysterious.

That's why this is such a big reveal. So my goofball theory works as well as the next one, I would say. Maybe Rick and Morty got swapped somehow. I like it more because they have an infinite number of pairings. I saw some of them just show up and they're black or Asian or a different race now. A reptilian. It makes more sense that you'd see

a lizard. When they do those pan shots in those kind of shows and there's a ton of different stuff hidden in the background because it's just very detailed animation. It keeps my attention. I like that. Seeing a really smart Morty and a really dumb rick actually fits into that oh infinite possibilities i guess so kind of narrative whereas i if i found out that morty and rick

were the same person i would think this is stupid this is a stupid twist oh it doesn't make any sense why wouldn't it make sense how could it possibly um well i mean he's an interdimensional traveler who who has for some reason his mom gave birth to him in every reality well see they've never really given us any any background story and they're like they one of the big mysterious parts of rick and morty is where the fuck was rick throughout all of morty's childhood you know and that's they don't do time travel right they don't yeah they do interdimensional travel but not time travel so if they did time travel then i haven't fully thought it through but i can see a scenario where like he comes back

and becomes his own grandfather i mean hell they almost did that in back to the future right you fuck your mom yeah so i don't know but uh uh without time travel I can't wrap my head around how it could happen yeah I don't understand it either but I mean it's just a show that's so ridiculous that they could explain it in any way and you just love dub more you're not understanding the quantum flux of this burping and you're like oh I guess the quantum flux of it you know the quantum flux burp they said that in season one I didn't know it all along

I hate like I like his voice and it's really funny to me but the burping there's something about when characters burp loudly Opie from the Opie and Anthony show used to do that where he'd like burp into the mic every once in a while because howard used to do it too in like the the 90s or 80s rather and i

hate that so much the sound of someone burping it's just rude like if i if i burp in real life like i turn to the side and i'm you know unless i'm like with a family member or something i'll just burp but i'm so happy to hear this. Oh my God. Everyone seems to be a giant belching fan. I see people burp on YouTube videos. The comments are filled with what a nice one that was. And all these like, you know, positive feedback and affirmation.

And I'm like, really? Oh, there's nothing grosser to me. And to be honest, in my head, I could be wrong. I thought the rick and morty burping backed off a bit but by season one maybe i just got used to it they was burping so much it was a legit it was like perhaps the biggest downside to the show like the note if i had to pick one thing i'd change i'd be like i would like him burp less you know i don't like every two lines yeah i don't mind that rick burps but i i don't like it when real human beings burp okay

that's there's this difference to me i guess it's not a real burp either right he's just saying or a person you know i think he's like i don't know some people can like like swallow some air and like force a burp i don't know how he does his voice i can do that exactly you know what i never do yeah i stopped when i was 13 one of the other interesting things like i watched the whole episode and after it was over i i was like well i didn't come to the realization myself i suppose but you know the first thing i read online was like that entire episode was justin talking to himself there wasn't a single other character in the entire episode there's no none of the of the female... This was the recent one? Yeah. Yeah. It's him talking to himself the entire episode

because it's all Rick and Morty. There's no other character throughout the episode. I wasn't... I didn't understand until... Yeah, it was the same voice actor. There was the voiceover guy. Sam Elliott, yeah.

That's the guy from Tombstone, the guy from The Kowalski. He's in something from Tombstone, the guy from Big Lebowski. He's in something about the Pope, like the Borgias, I think. That show. Like 98% of that show was just one voice actor. You think of Sam Neill? Oh, I think of Sam Neill.

The guy from Jurassic Park? Sam Elliott is the guy who played the tobacco Marlboro Man in Thank You for Smoking, right? I've only seen that once. He's got a big mustache and everything. He looks like a cowboy. He was Virgil Earp in Tombstone.

Yeah, that's him. Yeah. 73. He's got that old-timey cowboy voice. He does. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to the next uh you know the rest of the season of this thing i i was i was really feeling down on rick and morty until this episode i i had really disliked this entire season uh quite a bit um i i do like seeing that our morty uh like like

the main morty i can't recall the dimension that we're from c C-136, I think. That Morty is getting smarter and smarter and crueler and crueler. He himself is becoming more and more like the evil Morty, though they're certainly not the same person. But I'm digging that, too. Is he getting smarter, or was it just the one episode where he removed all his negative stuff? No, I wasn't even thinking of that episode. He's getting smarter or was it just the one episode where he removed all his negative stuff no he's getting i wasn't thinking of that episode he's getting smarter um you saw him trick rick

uh when he sends uh uh rick off on that adventure with his father you know he tells his mom he's like god i i lied to rick and sent him off on an adventure just so i could get away from this bullshit for one fucking day. And here you are. My sister's been blown up enormous and you're being ridiculous about the shrinking ray and everything. Okay, good point. I like the show.

I see the Szechuan sauce everywhere. I know they went on the H3 podcast and they raffled some off and then I saw that Binging with the Babish, that YouTube channel, I don't know if you're familiar. He cooks things from TV shows and movies, like ridiculous things, food items. And in a previous episode, he had created a Szechuan sauce based on what he thought it would be.

But someone actually sent him some, so he had the real Szechuan sauce. And everybody says the same thing. They're like, eh. Yeah, if you offered me, like if I went to McDonald's and got my nuggets, and they were like, we've brought the Szechuan sauce back. Would you like to try? I'd be like, nope, just buffalo again.

Thanks anyway. Like the buffalo sauce. There's no way. And the buffalo sauce there is by no means good. It's just better than the other stuff. I haven't had it forever. I'm a honey guy. Honey is so no means good. It's just better than the other stuff. I haven't had it forever. I'm a honey guy. Honey is so good.

It makes it so much worse for you though, doesn't it? Who cares? It's nature. That's true. Just don't feed it to babies. I didn't know that. I liked that honey a lot. When I was a kid, it was always honey. And at Burger King too,

I don't know if you remember Burger King's nuggets, but they were shaped like, I don't know, your pinky finger. Like exactly like that. They were chicken fries, yeah. I'm very familiar with the chicken fry that they had maybe a year or two ago. Not that. It was a different, it was a more meaty chicken fry. You might not know, one of my degrees is in chicken fries.

I know my burger king business and uh and i'd always dip those in the honey but um the last time i got mcdonald's chicken nuggets i remember like my cousin and i were like this has been 12 years ago or something like that but we were like at mcdonald's latest late at night like two in the morning starving and it was like give us a 50 piece nugget. Yeah, we want the 50 piece. And they're like, huh, okay, let me see if I can find you a 50 piece box. And I was like, that exists. And they come out with a bucket. They had a McDonald's bucket that like, that like up on top of a shelf that like folded out like, like a transformer. And I'd never seen

one before. And so from then on, like when we we go there late night we'd get the bucket because the best part is they're like what kind of sauce would you like and i'm like well it's 50 nuggets ma'am maybe a few of everything and she my mouth's watering she put in two or three of every sauce they had and we just parked the truck and like crack open every single sauce on the dashboard of the truck and we're just like trying them all and it's like yeah get a little ranch and then the buffalo oh yeah yeah how many combinations and permutations are available in this i don't know seeing numbers in your head does this calculator have an exclamation point on it?

I don't. Every time I get a big meal at McDonald's, though, or any fast food place, I build it up in my head to like, oh, this is going to be so good because it's so bad for me. And I get like maybe five bites in and I'm like, I don't feel good. And I feel like I know I can feel guilt creeping in. It's good enough to warrant it. I'm still stuck on the idea that honey's worse for you than buffalo sauce. And Taylor didn't say worse. He said so much worse. Now, I get that it's sugar, right?

I also, like, there's something about sugar. They're both probably equally bad. I'm with Woody on this one. The thing is, honey has got to be better for you. It's just if it comes in a sealed package and it's food, it's probably awful for you. And I can't think of anything more like processed and non-food anymore than buffalo sauce. That's true. Let me see.

Well, you got 20 calories in a teaspoon of honey. Okay. And you got the McDonald's buffalo. I know it's going to be 20 or so. It tastes good, too. It probably has sugar in it. If they add sugar to honey, then they should build it to buffalo sauce. It's 30 calories for a whole pack, but a whole pack is like three different,

it's like three tablespoons or something. It doesn't matter. The honey's got to be better for you than whatever. There's preservatives and chemicals and, you know, multiple ingredients to make that buffalo sauce. You're right. I've reneged on that ridiculous claim that McDonald's buffalo is better than honey for you. Neither one is going to be winning you any marathon or health awards. Because I remember when I was a kid and we got chicken rings.

You ever had chicken rings from White Castle? Oh, no, I don't think I've ever eaten at White Castle. Oh, you don't have White Castle? We have it. They would bring those in for lunch, and the only thing they had to dip them in was honey. And looking back, the fact that we were eating, God, once every 10 days of school or whatever the rotation was, White Castle chicken rings. It's like, what were they doing? We're all shorter than we otherwise would have been if they would have given us a chicken breast.

Imagine a world where segregation just ended, right? Now this diner can no longer legally bar black people from entering it. So you're technically allowed, but you're not welcome there. The inverse that is white castle in new jersey i have never been to a white castle but like if i were to walk in there everyone would be like what's what you doing what's honky think he's doing here you know like is that what it is like there it's all segregation. From the 50s, apparently. You say honky. I know none of us were there for the segregation, but I have it in my head that it wasn't a bunch of mean old restaurant owners that were racist. I have it in my head that it was Jim Crow laws

that literally required those restaurants to enforce segregation. I have it in my head that it was market demand that it was a general vibe amongst the customers who preferred not to have black people in the same way that like when there were um when you were allowed to smoke in a restaurant a lot of restaurants didn't have smoking or they just stuck them in some shitty corner next to the door because a lot of customers would feel like it was a smoking environment They'd rather not be there so that but that changed that as well that that was a that was a lot thing is also I there would still I was saying area. Yeah, but pre-law

Smoking was either small and like off to the side or not there according to me They still have smoking and some like restaurants and bars in the color areas here Yeah, I like it when they're smoking in there like restaurants and bars in the couple areas here yeah i like it when they're smoking in there in a restaurant or a bar i the the last time i remember ruin it i remember being in pizza hut and uh and they just had like they split the restaurant in half and there was no actual divider it was just like on the other side of this booth they're all smoking them up over there and the smoke's just wafting over on your family's table. Everybody's like, ah, if the pizza doesn't give us cancer, those Marlboros will.

I mean, I totally get it. Like, I don't mind smoking in restaurants while I'm eating that much as long as someone's not blowing the smoke in my face because I just don't mind the smell of cigarettes that much. My grandparents smoked in the house always when we were growing up and I just remember that smell.

And, but like if you really don't like cigarette smoke, it's really douchey of you to smoke indoors. always when we were growing up and I just remember that smell and But like if you really don't like cigarette smoke, it's really douchey of you to smoke indoors You know you're forcing everybody else to deal with your shit You know where I prefer there to be smoking strip clubs. It adds to the ambience the atmosphere It's already a skanky fucking situation. So yeah, everybody should be lighting up There should be a little fog of smoke in the air i'm with you on fog machines but cigarettes no we're gonna save so much on fog machines you won't believe it hi i'm harvey feistein the owner of this establishment no i i to me cigarettes are always a. There's no scenario in which they're positive.

I appreciate the odd cigarette person who's aware of where their smoke is going outdoors, right? There's a lot of smokers who just smoke and figure I'm outdoors. Fuck everyone else. You know, I can do what I want to. Fuck that guy. Like Taylor said, he's the one forcing me to deal with his cancer bullshit. You know, if you see your smoke heading in my direction, fucking walk your happy ass away from here, because you're the asshole.

We play am I the asshole sometimes? The smoker, 110% of the time, is an asshole for making me deal with his smoke. If they're standing there, like, six feet to your right as you're trying to eat with a group of people, and they're like, I'm outside, fuck it. I'm six feet away from the building, so I'm legal. It's like, you could, like, you're making a – I mean, smokers are already pretty reviled by a lot of society.

And so it's like you want to be a good ambassador for smokers as a smoker, right? So fucking move. Like just go downwind six feet. Be considerate. I feel bad for smokers when I see them now and when my friends have to go smoke somewhere, especially at the airports. You'll ask a cop,

where can I smoke? Because I've seen people get tickets for smoking outside of the airport and they're like, two miles that way. There's a little box. You're going to want to sit on that dildo and ride that. Yeah, the one sparkling with electricity. Sit on the electric dildo, and it doubles as a lighter, just-

yeah. They really put you in the shittiest of places. And I really appre- I- when I did smoke, like if you're about to get on a flight to like LA, god, you really want to get that nicotine hit before you get on this plane. It's- you know, it calms you down, gets you in a happy place before you cram on

board with all these other motherfuckers. And Atlanta, and I don't know which terminal, but they've got a room you go into with like... It's like they've got ventilation sucking straight up with such fervor that it's non-stop in your ear. It's like a hood from chemistry class where they just pull it out.

If you took your pack of cigarettes and just lobbed it up with a little effort, it would just... It'd be gone. And I can remember, like, I've stepped in those things a couple times, and I wouldn't have a cigarette because, like, I wasn't planning to be smoking in the airport terminal. And I like to be as, like, slimmed down with what's in my pockets as possible when I'm going through security. Every time you ask a smoker to bum a cigarette they are so happy to provide one there's there's some kind of a brotherhood amongst smokers where like if you need a cigarette i've never ever in

my life either been turned down for a cigarette and i've never turned one turned anyone down for a for a cigarette it could be a bum it could be like uh you know a race of person that I hate. An Irishman could come up to me and want to... I'd give him one right away. I mean, I'd spit on his hand when he wouldn't take it. As you do. It's good luck, but I'd let him take it. I was in the airport today

and I saw one of those tobacco areas where you can smoke in there and they also sold cigars. I haven't had a cigar in forever. I don't really smoke them that much but for some reason i'm like oh that would be neat like get one of those i got some time to kill and then i look through the window at who at the the individuals that i would be sharing this space with and i was like maybe another time it was like seven people all in their 60s and all of them just puffing their cigarettes, blowing it like like the the kind of smoker who's not even pretending like, ah, elegance and relaxation, like the kind of smokers been smoking two packs a day since 1957.

And so they're just just trying to tear through those things. It's like nobody in that entire area has a cigar. Those are all people with cigarettes. Denver has a smoking area. I remember appreciating that. But then Vegas has one too. But Vegas, like, you would think in Sin City they would give you a nicer smoking area,

but it's literally a plexiglass cube in the middle of the, it's like surrounded by foot traffic, if that makes sense. It's like where one of those, you'd go to get your. They like shame you. Yeah, well, it's like surrounded by foot traffic if that makes sense it's like like where one of those uh you'd go to get your yeah well it's in one and the area of the airport where you'd like go out in the center to like get your feet massaged or sit in a vibrating chair or something but instead they've got a gigantic glass cube and you go into it and it's sucking the air up of course but the end it had double doors like star trek like you'd go through one set and then there was another set, so none of your

evil could escape into the rest of the airport. There's slot machines in there! There's slot machines in the smoking area! Of course. They know these people have problems with vices. The cigarette smoker that bugs me, that I actually

can't fire. If I'm at the campfire, the cigarette smoker just loves fucking If I'm at the campfire, the cigarette smokers just love fucking firing up smokers by the or cigarettes by the campfire. And it's always an issue. That shit's blowing on other people constantly. That's like the one place I have no problem at all because

I smell the fire smoke. To me, it overpowers any cigarette or cigar smoke unless it's like a big stogie or something. It's coming right at me, you know? Like, if it's not coming to me, then I don't care, right? You know, because it's possible for it to just go up. But, yeah, if I'm smelling your fucking cigarette next to the campfire, I love it.

I love it. And you've ruined it, you asshole. You are the asshole, undeniably. You're ruining this campfire for me. And, uh, I fucking hate it so much. Whenever I hear, like like cigarette taxes go up or oh my god now our carton's a hundred dollars i don't even know if that's like a lot more than it used to be but i'd be like yeah fine fine make it 200 i don't give a fuck right one of two things

will happen we'll have more tax money for good shit and and assholes will be paying for it or they'll stop smoking and maybe not be assholes anymore. Yeah, maybe you'll be a little healthier. Yeah. There's no cigarette tax I've ever not liked and I don't know. I just... Yeah, you were the...

We have like the lowest cigarette taxes in the country. If cigarettes were injectable, I wouldn't care because it'd be a private decision, right? But they're not. This is a thing you're doing for everybody. Oh, and by the way it is very rare that a cigarette smoker does not just leave his trash everywhere there i find that

we have a big military population here because of fort bragg and uh sometimes military people really clean it up they like put it out on the bottom of their shoe and put it in their pocket and um and that's a thing but like you know the guy that came to put in your siding, I guarantee you there's fucking 80 cigarette butts in your yard right now, because that asshole doesn't think twice about it. He doesn't think cigarette butts are trash. I'm trying to think. I remember

doing that. I remember being at somebody's place and doing the thing you just described, where I put it out on my shoe until it was really good and gone, and then pocketing it. And I'm trying to think who I was treating with that level of respect or whatever. But but I've definitely done that. I'm man, I'm really spaced on where I was when that happened. But but yeah, like I was always conscious of, you know, the smoke, first of all, because

if you're not smoking and there's smoke, it's disgusting. And I don't mean if you're a non smoker. I mean, if you're not in the business and the act of smoking one. You can be a smoker, and secondhand smoke is disgusting. It's a whole different animal than smoking a cigarette. When you go through the filter,

it's a smooth, flavorful, enriching situation. And your brain is immediately hit with lots of pleasurable chemicals that give you exactly what you want there's a little Pavlonian thing going on there too right like you know it could taste like shit hypothetically but if it

if your brain gets like a real wonderful dopamine reward then you might start to associate that with something good perhaps although I will say like if I would ever run out of my particular brand of cigarettes and I had to smoke Kitty's brand it was a real book It was like do I really want this I and I would like so many times

I would I would take like two puffs of her Camel Turkish silver or Marlboro light or American spirit orange or whatever she's smoking and be like oh The taste is on my tongue now it's like smoking it's like burning cardboard it's what brand did you use i always well like like the the early days of my cigarette smoking and the thing that really got me addicted was working with all his black guys and everybody at the car dealership smoked menthols it was newports and cools and marlboro menthols. It was Newports and Kools and Marlboro menthols. There was nothing else. And so I became really, I really enjoy menthol cigarettes. And so

the last time I smoked, it was Marlboro Smooth, which is the light blue pack of Marlboros, and they taste like peppermint. They are very tasty. My mouth's watering again. Mine's kind of watering too. Woody's going to go out and buy one and be like, let's see.

Oh, peppermint. What an asshole. Not even close. Woody goes, oh, god damn. Not only does that taste like a fucking peppermint, but does my foot feel better? Holy shit. Dude. I can walk.

Jackie, come in here. We all know they're unhealthy, right? So I'm seeing doctors a lot now. I had physical therapy today, and I had it last week, and I see doctors and whatever. And all of them are like, do you smoke? No. And they're like, oh my God.

And they have these tales of how awful smoking is for your bones and your joints and how it would dramatically impact the way I heal from this and my prognosisosis and all this and it's like oh my god like i knew it was bad for your lungs and i knew it was bad for your heart and kind of just bad in general i had no idea that it wrecks your bones and that smoking and and bone health are just really linked in and joints it's one of those things where like the more they look into it there's never going to be a point where they're actually there was. If you're at risk for some neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson's, smoking helps reduce the risk of that.

If you might – it's something to do with the nicotine, not like the actual tar and shit like that. But the nicotine somehow can delay the onset of Parkinson's or Huntington's or stuff like that. But they're never going to find out like, oh, it out smoking like wasn't as bad as we thought it's not headed that way no more that they research it the more they're like you know how we thought i had like a lung problem it also like makes your your fingers shitty and uh and your circulation's bad and so you're gonna have cold feet or whatever like yeah it it it would be so much better of a world if nobody ever figured that out if whatever guy started smoking that like had just kept it to himself and been like this is pretty good but who knows the ramifications and they're like sitting bull what are you doing he's like

mind your own business we're gonna eat corn yeah i wonder how back i wonder how far back it goes i bet it goes back tens of thousands of years I saw that thing about that Iceman that they found and he had The pouch of marijuana And that was like That was at least 10,000 years ago He was an Iceman who had like From his physiology you could tell

That he had been shot with a stone tipped arrow And survived battles that were like Prehistoric type battles he had all these wounds and all these joint issues maybe because from the well now he's smoking marijuana though maybe it was helping him with his joint issues you know i'm surprised like so in my mind marijuana smoking is pretty widespread right you know even amongst adults like a lot of people smoke it and uh i haven't like they just ask if you smoke they don't ask what you smoke or where you are and i i i feel like doctors need to get on board with the reality

that this is a common thing they don't ask about maybe it doesn't have the same ramifications as cigarette smoking and they don't it doesn't at all oh yeah it in no way has the same ramifications like like cigarettes have additives in them that are... The things they add to cigarettes are the bad stuff. Like, tobacco, it's not like you can just grow your own tobacco and you'd be okay. Like, just smoking tobacco is bad for you for a lot of reasons. Putting that in you is bad. But they add chemicals and tar and stuff, and that's...

Bleach and ammonia, yeah. Yeah, and that stuff never makes sense to me. I wonder how much of it's true because there's no... The people who are anti-cigarette would never be like, well, actually that thing they're doing there is kind of good for you. That's a good additive they added. They'd never tell you the truth if there was some good stuff about cigarettes.

Sounds good, actually. Then you would enjoy clove cigarettes. That's what clove cigarettes are. I good, actually. Then you would enjoy clove cigarettes. That's what clove cigarettes are. I probably wouldn't. Those smell horrible. Really? I can tell when somebody nearby is smoking a clove cigarette

because I'm like, I wish that that was just a regular cigarette. There's something about the smell of clove that I'm like, it smells like an old person or someone from the past. I don't know what it is they'll come back around I've watched whiskey get popular with the kids close cigarettes yeah like you did your children will be like close cigarettes are where it's at bad and you won't get it might the same health ramifications

is like this tobacco smoke if did, the federal government would have laid that out there by now. Also, people who smoke cigarettes, I don't know what the average amount of cigarettes someone smokes a day, if they're a smoker, maybe a pack, maybe less, I don't know. A pack, that's 20 of them.

That's 20 things you're smoking throughout the day. That's a lot of smoke by volume going in and out of your lungs whereas with marijuana i don't know anybody except for maybe like snoop dog who rolls 20 uh you know marijuana cigarettes and then roasts them all day that's a good point an average cigarette smoker would be a professional level marijuana smoker yeah like a snoop dog or wiz khalif or one of those guys who makes their whole identity like, yeah, I love pot.

Or Cheech and Chong. There's plenty of those guys out there. None of them have gotten sick, right? Like Willie Nelson. Those guys who have been smoking enormous amounts of weed for generations. Tommy Chong has cancer, doesn't he? Doesn't Willie Nelson get really sick too? Am I crazy?

How old is he? Because he's getting to the point where getting really sick is like, it's par for the course right he's like 87 yeah like yeah i i hear you oh yeah he's 84 if he's really sick it's just because he's 84 right probably um yeah i oh i'm surprised that marijuana is not the more my widespread one now i. Now, I'm not the guy to talk about either one of these. But one thing I do know about marijuana is the plant grows fairly easily. It grows in every climate, everywhere. They call it weed. I never thought of that.

How did I not put that together? You'd be shocked to learn that weed grows just about everywhere. shocked to learn that weed grows just about everywhere. But it still seems like tobacco is the more widely consumed one. I don't know why that... Now I understand why it is, because there's rules and stigmas and laws and stuff. But let's go back

to when these things were getting started. Why wasn't pot the more widespread one back in 1000 BC? Maybe it wasn't a thousand BC but like why wasn't in the old west like like back when you in the old west when you know they go in there and like slam your coin on the table whiskey dry like why weren't they like three joints

The best weed that you have in 1810. It probably would be like Mexican weed now. I mean, like it's my, so look at what I know. I read from like vice.com or something, but if you get like Colorado weed, it's awesome. It's super strong. You really got to know your limit and crazy stuff like that. If you get weed that's imported from mexico it's like some guy with a fucking tractor knocked over six trees grew it in a little food plot uh there's deer saliva on it and they ship it to you like it's just you know it's not a farm it's a food plot

and it's like a different level of uh inebriation maybe it was like a social norm thing that like you didn't want to be a cowboy out there high as a kite You know losing calves and whatnot Whereas you could be mr. Cigarette guy and just smoking a cigarette and you're not gonna you know Oh, I'm not saying like it's weed or him just good I don't think how boys just guzzling whiskey out on the I don't know what they did, right? Because the movies are just fucking lying. Based on the movies, it was either campfire songs or raping whores. I'm not sure.

I don't know what happened in the middle. I've watched a documentary or two, and being called a daisy is actually a compliment. A daisy? It's from Tombstone. Val Kilmer said it. And I did the research on it, and that's the thing. You're a daisy if you do. I'm like, what does he mean, you're a daisy if you do. I'm like, what does he mean you're a daisy if you do?

He would mean that you're quite a clever, splendid guy. A daisy if you do. That didn't stick around. I'll be your huckleberry. Level of inebriation from that. I think that might be it. But also, way back in the day in like england and in tons of places water wasn't safe to drink and so all day every day you know the the serfs or you know

peons or whatever they were drinking like super weak but still alcoholic beer so like two percent 2% beer all day every day can you imagine how just sick everyone felt all the time and I went to college like how's the morning treat yes same as every other one good because that what grog is it's weak beer i didn't know that it's rum diluted into their big barrels of water to to keep the you know the evil out oh can you imagine how horrible that would taste just rummy water and you've been helping bro on a ship all day and you just want like a nice iced tea and now you get warm from a barrel of rummy

water. I keep saying it like there's fuck those time machines that go that way. You only want to go this way. Like you do not want to go back in time to anywhere. It was always worse. And let's go forward in small increments. Just to be safe. I'm not jumping

400 years ahead because that's enough time for everything to have gone to shit and and just show up in a in a barren wasteland like what actually what year would you go to uh i think i think you know i think i'd want to go like 10 years yeah 10 year increments or something like that like jump 10 years and kind of hop out for a day look around see what see what's up, maybe make some investments. 10 more years. 10 more years. Ah, shit. The S&P no longer exists.

I guess that's gone. Fucking Woody sent me in the wrong direction. What's your strategy? I think maybe... You show up 10 years in the future, hang out for one day, make some investments based on your new understanding of the world, and then you go forward 10 years and you go, ah, it didn't pay off. Why not go back 10 years and see what's good and then make some investments and then hand it to your future self?

I don't know. Just wait until you get back. Just hold off on the investment until you get back in the present. But you go 10 years in the future? Yeah, maybe 10-year increments. 10-year increments. 10 year increments. I feel like that's safe. And you're not going to be, because my fear is this,

that you're going to go so far into the future that you're going to be immediately spotted as some kind of weird individual, right? I don't know. If a guy from 2007 showed up today, he'd fit right the fuck in. But if a guy from 1970 showed up today with one'd fit right the fuck in. But if a guy from 1970 showed up today

with one of those mullet mustache combos or something and a white snake jacket or whatever they wore back then, he'd be like, what's that piece of glass you're holding in your hand? It looks pretty groovy. I'm going a step further. You go 300 years forward, they'll be like, look at this idiot with two biological eyes,

biological ears. He doesn't fit what a freak yeah you never know everybody's eight feet tall and gorgeous because they've been like perfected you're like yeah damn it eugenics is when they like i don't know what eugenics is but it's when they like breed people to make them better, right? Why is this so bad? It's like that and removing undesirables from your population. So that's why Hitler had crippled people killed. Off the top of my head, eugenics is the theory or the idea that you could breed sort of a master race by getting rid of certain certain genetic traits and using the ones that were more preferable. It seems

very akin to like sort of a master race type Caucas Caucasian, white, racist. First of all, I misspelled eugenics, so I might not make the cut on this. This could be an issue. You'll have fails the first time! The science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the

occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics. Heritable as opposed to inheritable. Okay. Developed largely by Francis Galton, a method of improving the human race. It fell into disfavor after the perversion of its doctrines by the Nazis. Aha. So this is one of those scenarios where you can claim, like, I'm so hipster.

I like eugenics before it was perverted by the Nazis. Yeah, I don't know. I guess in my head, I wasn't thinking of it so much as calling the bad as it was like, I don't know, like CRISPR. Remember we were talking about PRP, like platelet replacement therapy, where they take it out of your arm, spin it in a medical machine of some sort and put it back better um in my head you just do that to the sperm or the egg or something and now you're assured a good one you know now you're gonna get like a like a perfect child um i don't see the evil uh the evil would be um what how much it costs to do that. And if by doing that you create two different, two classes of human being that never existed before, the haves and the have-nots. So you're going to hold back the haves.

Yes, you are. That's anti-capitalism. No, that's anti-race war. No, you are a genetic socialist. You're like, oh, we should all be equal. We should all be equal. Well, no, we're not all.

We should all have the same number of chromosomes, and these Down Syndrome fucks are hoarding them. I think we're going to run into it, and that's something that's definitely going to happen. I would bet money on it, but I would be dead long before it even matters. I think that we're going to get, if you've seen the movie Gattaca, I think that's a strong prediction of what we're going to get in the future, where you're going to have this group

of people who have the money to make sure that their child is going to be six foot one, blonde hair, blue eyes, muscular, you'll never get diabetes, you'll never get any disease. And you might think oh well those are good things you know no diabetes no disease but but that alone like like makes this person more financially viable in the future a better hire uh for a company you know oh well you don't even your health care is going to be very cheap mr anderson it says right here you can never get sick excellent and then And then Mr. Rogers is over there. It's like, well, I believe you have several genetic predispositions for this and that. No way

we're hiring you. It just, it creates a system of haves and have nots. That's just not fair. I still find it's similar to capitalism, right? Like, like there's a part of me that let's pretend Jews were this master race somehow breeded, right? You know, to be smarter and better than the rest of us. Yeah, they've done a lot for medicine and science on the planet. Like, the world has advanced more than it would have otherwise if it wasn't for the Jewish race. Whether that's because they're genetically superior or culturally superior or something, but they're performing well. It's kind of Jews of European descent, Ashkenazi Jews, actually do, as a population, perform higher on IQ tests than any other group of people or race.

Like, there's all these conspiracies, like, oh, the Jews, and they're out there doing this and doing that. And it's like, do you ever consider, like, maybe they're disproportionately misrepresented in these high-level fields because, as a whole, their IQ distribution is significantly higher. Their bell curve is closer to 115 than 100. That's a big deal. They didn't pay for it.

There was no part where – and that's the difference. All men are created equal, right? the difference like like like all men are created equal right but until we start tampering with the way these men are created and you're literally creating another species and a super race of human beings with with money and and and it creates a cycle where you cannot dig yourself out of it couple generations of that superhuman race the world would be so much better everybody gets it nobody handing it out no you would never breed with one of those people below you. You don't have to breed. It can be done by machine, right?

You can take the best of the best of that couple. You know, like I'm not saying that I see where you're headed. There's a separate race and they almost naturally become better. No, I'm just thinking people fall in love with who they fall in love with. That's likely to be the case. And then, like, I am sure that of the, like, trillions of sperm that I've produced over my lifetime, there was an Einstein in there. One, right? We get that one, the best one that I make, and combine it with the best one that she makes, and we have wonderful kids. But that's not what it is, though.

It can be. It can be, and that's okay. I'm fine with that, because that is just maximizing the potential that you already have, rather than tampering with the genetic code of a... What do you call that little thing that we usually kill

and suck out with a vacuum? Fetus. Fetus, yeah. We'd be good at charades kyle oh a baby yeah that thing uh oh i mean uh the founder of planned parenthood or one of the founders margaret sanger she was a eugenicist huh i i don't know if we want to save it for the big show or whatever did you see the the PewDiePie controversy? I saw something about it, and it just didn't pull me in. So I didn't look into it.

What is it? He dropped an N-bomb while playing PUBG. He was in a gunfight with a guy, and his teammate was downed. And the guy he was in the gunfight with ran out into the danger zone just to finish off his teammate uh and he got mad about that it's a little bit of a gaming faux pas in some ways but in any case he got mad about that called him an n-word i think he said yeah i think he said he was being an n-word or he was playing like an n-word like like something i think he said he was being an word being a what a what a nigger he is a nigger

something like something like that and it was a very clear hard art yeah he hit that hard yeah and uh i saw his apology video did you see that i did it was made an apology video he did oh well it it's he's a pretty big guy this is practically mel Mel Gibson in the back of the police car, you know, at this point. And his apology video, I thought, was perfect. Like, there's no room for improvement over it. Now, it's getting harder, this being his second or third time. And in my head, I'm like, but this is the first real one, you know? The one where he was like, yeah, talking, whatever.

They freeze frame it to the Nazi salute and say, look at this as one of the things that PewDiePie did. I'm trying to remember. I don't know. It just seems like a lot of the times when they nail PewDiePie to the wall, it's completely unfair. That's not the case this time. This time, yeah, he did that.

And he made a quick reference to gaming culture he's like he's like i'm embarrassed it's a part of gaming culture that i don't want to contribute to that you know i'm i'm i'm embarrassed that i was in and uh yeah that's he's maybe right that's a thing like i it i think i've heard that word more on x Live than I have in real life. Oh, it's not even close. Yeah. Like, it's not even a competition. Right?

I don't know really anyone. It's not in my everyday vocabulary. It's not around the people I know don't say that. In real life, I don't hear people say that. In off-roading, I did. There were people in off-roading who sometimes said, who felt like this was a safe space and would drop that. But in my real life like my regular like none of my friends do none of my online friends do but in gaming people

do sometimes and uh yeah so his apology was was perfect in every way i thought there yeah yeah did you want to say something i know that's it yeah so we'll see how bad this gets um the big problem is i don't know if it's a second or third time facing pewdiepie's a bad guy allegations uh it's like i think he may have said something about the jews uh a long time ago or something like that people didn't like or something he paid someone to hold the signs right for five dollars oh that's hilarious though yeah. Yeah. It is. They just make up shit to fuck. Look, this will benefit him, if anything.

He's getting, the people who like him already, none of them are getting it. This is that thing where someone else is getting offended for someone else. Like, I seriously doubt there's any black person out there who saw this and says, oh, he clearly doesn't like my race. No. He clearly doesn't like that guy over there who killed his teammate. That's totally what this is. I guarantee.

He's going to gain subs. So I like PewDiePie, typically. But I did hear him say, like, dude, if I were to get really upset in a gaming scenario, I'd probably say F you, but it wouldn't be f right there's no world in which i say faggot no the faggot you is not even a thing but uh uh there's no world in which i would be like oh my god that guy's being such an n-bomb like that and i was like oh that's where pewdiepie goes out of frustration you know i'm not saying that he thinks it's the master race or all that other junk but i'm like oh

he went there he was mad he wasn't the best version of himself but that's where he goes when that happens or that's where he can go you know like i go i go cunt it is my anger response word yeah it's hard to say the end cut off in uh well number one if i'm if i want an angry response where i want one syllable yes i want and so if they merge exactly i see you yeah so if somebody cuts me off i was like cunt you fucking cunt and just get mad like And then you feel better. Whereas if I just said, you're a real dick, it wouldn't get it out. Or you're a douche.

I will say F you in my head or out loud if that's where I'm frustrated. Cunt! Not that I never use the word, but it's usually more calculated. Like, ugh! I want a bad one for this what's the worst one i know yeah i usually use cunt as a direct insult especially if it's a woman um i've called women

cunt to their face before and it hits the sweet spot yes the one you want right you're not ready for it it's like it's like dropping an N-bomb to a black person. They're like, whoa! They're a little taken back by it. Because it's a very hurtful word. That's as far as we can go. And so when you call a woman a cunt, especially if you add something before that

to describe what kind of cunt they are, you stupid cunt. You dumb cunt. You motherfucking cunt like like it it hits them hard almost you know you wanted to hit them you wanted to hit them but but calling them a cunt was almost as good i i've used cunt before but i i didn't even realize the amplifiers and to hear him say it he's right yeah it's so much more intense because like let me see if I can do this right, the way they did those word questions on, like, the SATs,

where it's like, bitch is to cunt as homo is to faggot. Well, nicely done. I see where you're going there. Yeah, it's like, and that's just to show the chasm of difference between bitch and cunt as far as an insulting word. Because you hear – I use bitch to make fun of guy friends way more than – like if a girl is being a bitch, you'll be like, I'll go being a bitch.

But like you don't even do that as much because it comes off as more malicious. You'll pick a different word for that just so you're not – so I'm not being too cunty. But I use bitch more on guy friends. And bitch is just a funny word. The thing about bitch is every so often there's a woman who goes bonkers at it. Right? Like if you were to call me a dick, you know, like whatever. I don't know.

Like, oh, really? What do I do? I didn't mean that. But there are some women who hear bitch and just go off the rails with it. So I don't use it casually. It's like shooting guns into the air. You don't know. Every so often.

It could go terribly wrong. Oh, did you see that the Floridians did it? They shot their guns at that hurricane enough that they sent it off to the west. And they saved Palm Beach. They're like, we're going to California. There's no guns there. That's, yeah. Hooray, Florida.

I had no idea. I didn't think it would work. I was with all the government officials naysaying it. But there we go. You can't shoot that hurricane away. Well, you're going to watch me try. Dude, Irma was huge. It was real big yeah people like it so i don't know how bad the damage is every let me flip back to the damage in just a second i heard one every four houses in

the keys but in terms of size it was like the second or third biggest hurricane that we've ever had like in terms of square miles did you perhaps see the graphic of like say by the way hurricane sandy i didn't know but it was fucking colossal i think sand is much bigger than ermine it was his second biggest ever i think sandy yeah and then there's like a typhoon like cyclone or something yeah typhoon cunt was like the biggest thing of all time it would be um in the dam and my frustration with the damage is here's what happens. You get a news crew that rolls into like, I don't know, 600 miles from where the real damage is. But they find that a palm tree blew over. And they might vandalize a street sign on their own.

And they frame the shot so well. Or they'll find some flooding, right? Now, mind you, this flooding is like four inches deep. But they lower the cameras and make it seem like it's going out forever. You can't really tell that it's four inches deep it's a wet parking lot but yeah exactly right there's like people in boats you know like oh my and there's news crews like yeah there's people in boats we're dying out here and then somebody walks through the shin deep water like next to the boat and and yeah man that that hurricane coverage is so misleading it's like you can't

blame them they they trucked out like they're three big hitters down there anderson cooper's down there jake tapper's down there and whoever that other person is they're all down there on like one of them's in tampa one's in jacksonville one of them's in the keys like we won't be here much longer what i saw in skin earlier was that they said 90 of the homes in the keys like we won't be here much longer what i saw in earlier was that they said 90 of the homes and the keys were destroyed oh it's what i it's what they were showing and and it looked like it have been damaged because that then then the one in four destroyed number it still makes sense it could have been and then i saw um one of the female reporters uh very attractive young lady was at a trailer park and it was like what you expect yeah like it's a trailer in

florida it's gonna get destroyed well that's what i didn't think they were looking for the most brutal scene they could get and of course you go to a trailer park like it's gonna be thrown all over the place i'm all the way up here in northeast georgia and i figured like ah we'll get a good dousing of rain that'll probably like drag for all night and we'll get some wind, I guess, but no big deal. The trees were like, do it left and right, like crazy. I have massive trees in my backyard that have come over

root and stem. Like, just all the way down with the entire root system sticking up and that hit another tree and that tree fucking fell off. It knocked your trees down? Yeah. I'm situated in in sort of the woods anyway so like the woods over there where i'm pointing like that makes a fuck are all like fucked up there were limbs and giant gigantic trees falling all night i'm gonna have to

get out there with a chainsaw tomorrow my power went out at 7 30 p.m last night and did not come back on until noon today and man i just don't know what i would do without electricity like like like it's it's a real it's a real tough uh uh uh row to hoe it is no fun we bought a generator we would be we would have it easy i uh yeah i i feel dumb right we're not going to need it uh the the big part of the storm has passed and it was really not noticeable we have worse days without hurricanes um but uh at the time it didn't know there was a time when the path of it seemed likely to go like kind of north carolina or south carolina straight to raleigh like that was one of the intended paths and i look i'm stupid

but i was like, there's that. And then we had a cooler summer and I thought maybe the winter we'd have more snow and ice. And in this area of the country, they don't do a very good job at all of keeping the tree limbs away from the wires. So every time you get snow and ice, you get power outages that last for a while.

So I was like, ah, let's get it. Let's have it in stock. And now I feel silly. I don't know. No, I don't think you're silly at all like like that that's i will be vindicated at some point yeah at some point you will be thankful you purchased it yeah man i i guarantee like this winter your power is gonna go off and maybe it's maybe it's 10 minutes maybe it's you know two two days but like it's gonna be real refreshing to go out there start that thing up and then have internet and fucking fox news or you know whatever you guys watch over there rolling yeah heat microwaves i would rather have entertainment than heat see i can always

bundle up i'm like i'm sitting there entertaining myself like counting my knuckles and i get to 10 10 times and then there's nothing else to fucking do did you consider like some some pitch black working out? Get tired so you didn't go to bed? No, and I'll tell you why. Swing that kettlebell around in the dark? I didn't work out, and I'll tell you why. I considered it, and I was like, what happens when I get super fucking sweaty,

and then I have to take a shower? Do I really want to take an ice-cold shower tonight? And the answer is no. So I did the opposite. I made sure that I didn't get hot, that i didn't get sweaty at any point during this thing because the last thing that i wanted to do was take another cold shower so they are one of my least favorite things on earth do you have a electric water heater yes oh everything yeah no games here so we have a water pump so we would have no water but in theory if we did we've got propane water heater

so now we would have hot water i have city water so i always have the water but uh electric uh water heater uh and uh and so yeah when the electricity goes out there is uh there is nothing and i have uh for some reason a while back i bought some 10 hour storm candles off amazon it was one of those late night, all right, what the fuck? They're like $3 for 10. So, like, yeah, they last 10 hours each. Like, this is a long power outage we're preparing for. So I had those candles.

And then Kitty has these. They're round lights with, like, a bunch of LEDs crammed in them and the remote control. And there's, like, four of them. So you can, like, just stick these things around your room and and they're they're multi-colored so i'm in here like that's how i was entertaining myself last night i'm like this one's blue this one's red this one's yellow this one's green she comes in she's like what the hell my entertainment options are limited so i was thinking this kyle has city quality water and rural quality internet and i have the inverse i have like rural like water pump and a septic but i have city quality like gigabit

ethernet which one would you pick um i would take the i would take the internet because i think so too it's faster internet because like in an emergency like like i would take the internet. I think so, too. I'd take the internet because in an emergency, I would fill the bathtub with water or something. Isn't it interesting? We all value internet speeds over water. Because you use it so much, and when you run out of water, it's easy to get some more.

They sell it everywhere. If I could go to the internet store and get myself a big bushel of internet and bring it home. You could download Wikipedia. No, no. Internet speed. It's the internet speed.

I know, I know. Look, I'm trying to work with you here. The real question. When you were doing it last night when you lost power and everything, I assume you had your phone. And hopefully it was at 100%. No. It's never at 100% when you need it to be. So were you on like the lowest battery saving mode, like browsing the internet, like watching YouTube videos?

I was like, ah, I mean, if this lasts, if the power comes back on in four hours, then it will only have been three hours since it died and I won't have tried to kill myself yet. I'll tell you what I did. It's so depressing. It's so depressing. It's so depressing. Kitty was thinking ahead. She was charging up little power banks and stuff. Or at least she thought she was, but it wasn't plugged into the goddamn wall.

She's got all of her things there and she's plugging the plug into the charger but the other end isn't plugged into the wall. What did she know. It was like this thing. Today, she was like, aha, Excalibur! It's like nothing. It's a metaphor for basic income.

The universal income where everybody gets some but there's really no generator because we all spend it for free. I'm sorry, carry on. There's always the car to go to and use a car charger and get your power that way, of course, but nobody wants to do that. So what I did, of course, is I looked at my phone when the power went out.

It went off first for like a minute. And then it came back on. And I was like, ah, we're out of the woods. We're good. And I even went into the kitchen and I'm like, I start like washing baked potatoes because I'm like getting the oven preheated. So you're very confident. I'm getting my steaks out. The power is flickering, so we're good now.

I was thinking, let's get this cooking process going. Maybe it goes off later tonight or whatever. I've got to eat. Everything goes dark and I've got a potato in my hand. I put my phone on the power saving mode, but the extreme power saving mode is

black and white screen and it can't even access the internet anymore it only calls people and i was like all right well not not that conservative that's not even fun yeah that's absurd like i i've done that with my phone where like i set it to the because i know i have similar phone to you where i set it to the highest saving mode, and it does like that little dial where it's like, do-do-do-do-do-do, and it shows how much more time you saved. And I did it to that version, not knowing what it was, and it was like turning off internet accessibility, turning off texting, turning off SMS, turning off all apps.

And it's like, your phone will not be dead for 5.2 days. And I was like, but what am I going to do with this? 5.2 days. Just like, hey guys, no, no. I just thought I'd call. Just wanted to chat. How's the hurricane treating you? Hey, Mom.

Set it to Tinder only. That's all I want you to do now. Are you like... It just dawned on me. Are your parents the only ones who enjoy voice calls left in your life at this point? No, they don't even do that. Both my parents text.

I prefer voice calls to get shit organized as long as it's not like a group text. Because group text is more convenient if you're with a lot of people. But even then, you're really banking on people reading the message and getting back to you. It depends who you're texting. If I'm texting with intelligent people

who can think two steps ahead and anticipate the needs of others, then like, you know, perceptive people, if I'm texting with them, then I feel like they can, you know, if I'm going to pick Chiz up, I'm like, hey, we'll be there. We're two blocks away. I'm going to honk the horn twice when I get there. It's a red car. I'm giving him all the possible information that he could want. I'm going to pick Chiz up. I'm like, hey, we'll be there. We're two blocks away. I'm going to honk the horn twice when I get there.

It's a red car. I'm giving him all the possible information that he could want. I'm not just like, be there in a minute. Because then he's going to be like, well, then he has questions. I anticipate the questions and I fill them out. But if I'm dealing with a dum-dum, then yeah, I definitely want to call. And like I said the other day, the only person that I've had a phone conversation with, and I don't even know how long, was that crazy fucking girl that i was dealing with and and and she and when she called

like when the phone rang i was instantly in a bad mood i'm angry at you already i'm like this ain't gonna go well for you like there's no she was calling or because she was calling my phone because i was i was like i like you so much less now that you've rang my phone like like like this is fucking high school and i'm and i'm attached to the wall or something like that i got the cord or whatever like like this is and i'm just like hey what's up are you dying are you on fire did text messaging suddenly stop being a thing i didn't say those things but it's going through my brain in You're thinking it. How do you even end a phone call?

I'll tell you how I ended it. She was rambling on and I said, I've had enough of this. Okay, okay. So that's not the advice I'm looking for. That's very rude. So a friend of mine got into a paramotor accident recently. He landed in the water.

He's fine, but it was extreme to look at, and if it wasn't water, oh my God, something bad would have happened. And he's like, I'll tell you all about it, like the post story, the trip to the hospital, the whole nine yards, and he wants to do a video chat with me. Okay, cool. So we do, and he lays it all out there,

and it takes like 20, 30 minutes, and it was great. But the call was 90 minutes. The other hour was just, I didn't know how to get off the phone. Like at some point I was like, all right, let me let you go. Oh, that's the phrase. Really? Yeah. I was like, let me let you go. And he seemed like sad. And he had like one more thing to say that stretched into many minutes, 20, 30 more minutes. At some point, I was like, let me let you go and he seemed sad. I was like, I have to go to the bathroom, which was true. He's like, all right.

We'll wrap it here. That's how it wrapped. I don't want my bladder capacity to necessarily... Do I have to keep talking until I can't stay any longer? I don't know what the scoop is, but it's hard to get off the phone. It is, but

you can take three minutes on the phone and solve a conversation or problem that would take you 45 minutes or an hour on text because they're not responding right away. You don't always notice. I don't know. If I'm trying to get something organized, calling is always the option i go for 100 depending on the problem space too but yeah

you're right you know there's a lot of back and forth that's another um so look i love working from home as much as the next guy i like working from home because like whatever time you're not spent working you're spending doing your favorite shit. When everyone's in the office together, there's like a hundred little micro-communications and quick questions that make a productive workforce. I wonder if it's going to swing back

the other way. People will realize, oh yeah, you know what? Turns out when everyone's spread across the country, they don't work together quite as well. Yeah, I hope so. I hope phone calls come back. Really? Yeah, easier. I was talking to Chiz about cell phones today,

and I was like, they should just make one that doesn't even call people anymore. Maybe that's the future. Imagine if you removed the whole calling voice shit from the phone. How much lighter, thinner, crazier could it be? Could you add some other feature in that would replace that entirely? Like I see like the – I want holograms. I want to fucking take this thing and sit it down, and I want it to project a holographic keyboard toward me that I can interface with. And it's tracking my fingers as I type on a full sized hologram keyboard. I want that

thing to pop up with Obi-Wan Kenobi on it and have him tell me a story. Like an 8 inch tall blue glowing, you know, and the phone is emitting some sort of vapor that the pixels are bouncing off of or whatever. Get rid of the talky talk because I just don't

use it. And I know that maybe you guys want the talky talk but I don't. I definitely need the talky talk because I just don't use it. And I know that maybe you guys want the talky talk but I don't. I definitely need the talky talk as an option. It'd be such a great excuse if somebody tried to call you and be like your hologram comes up and be like sorry Obi-Wan I don't have voice on this

phone and it just sends them a hologram that tells them that. Oh yeah. That would be my preference i i don't i hate it so much when people fucking call me call me obi-wan it's your only hope yeah i'd be down wait you can't call me i don't know that's actually the opposite of what we're looking for but yeah send me a holo chat bro i don't have i don't have talk no she says that says that. Like, something, Luke, your only hope in the movie.

But I'm messing it up. Someone... Those trash movies. The PKA subreddit had at me for comparing Rogue One to Fury. Apparently that's not good. And one guy said I was some kind of special stupid

for not knowing that all the characters would die in advance because they said they were going to. But he was wrong. Yeah, I don't think – that's not how I felt about it. You not knowing that simply says that – No, I was right. They don't say that. That thing that people are talking about – okay, first of all, they don't say people. Wait, are you talking about the Star Wars movie right now?

Yeah. All right. So Star Wars came out of a movie called Rogue One. That's the plans of how they get the, I'm sorry, it's the movie of how they get the plans for the original Death Star. There are lots of misinformed people who think that they say, hey, a lot of people died to get these plans. Those people are wrong. What actually they say is a lot of Bothans died to get these plans. Bothans are another

species and they are referring to the plans for the second death star that incomplete one not the first if you watch the briefing and i linked it in my response to this gentleman they do not mention at all the difficulties of getting the plans for the first first death star and the fact that he called me i think a special a special kind of stupid, I was like, oh. Well, he's incorrect on this. So I had links and videos to illustrate my point and, yeah. I guess it's, I don't like that he

apologized and was very nice about it and he said that he had some sort of mental disability that makes him overreact to things. I forget the details of it. So really, the guy's got his own challenges but uh but i was like a special kind of stupid i'm not even wrong so i i laid it all out there trying to figure out what a bothan is it appears to be like a lion person in which case like who

cares these aren't people you're exactly right it's some sort of lion person lynx person type thing uh and i guess those are the guys who got the plans for the second death star okay but uh you can auto play a video about bothans jesus christ i don't care this much like autoplay videos internet searches and delving into things and with an autoplay video or i'll just be looking something up and i'm like man i wonder like i wonder what kind of snake only eats other snakes other than the other than the king snake yeah and i'll look it up and then i'll see like in south africa many and it's like no i don't care i don't care anymore you've ruined my love my my interest was peaked and now it has been dashed because you are being sneaky one exception for auto plays if i want to know about a sports game it's the only time that like automatically breaking into like highlight plays is ever welcome if it's news if

it's information education entertainment all those other things i don't like auto play unless it's youtube i don't actually i don't mind autolay if the audio is off if they make you manually Okay, the audio on I don't mind I'll accept that if they just if you just click on a news story link and they start like a little lady in the corner Starts talking about a totally different news story trying to bait you into that It's like how little respect do you have for me as a viewer see you later fucking? Huffington Post or whatever you know see you see you later fucking huffington post or whatever cnn cnn do that get rid of it yeah it puts they all do box in the bottom right and here's the fucking shitty thing that they do like i'm up

i'm a little irked when any site auto starts auto playing anything with audio but the thing that cnn does is they wait like a solid five seconds like you're already finding the article you're interested in and like looking into it and then it starts playing and you can't find it is the video related though no no it's playing it'll play it's playing like the news of the day or some shit like some random thing like it's letting you know ted cruz liked a porno or something like i don't know how that's news i'm saving that for pka but but um yeah there there's some MMA websites I go to where, like, it'll be, oh, whatever, John Bones busted for steroids again.

And then some, like, autoplay thing comes on against about completely different fighters, completely unrelated stories. And I'm like, that's just a distraction from what I'm interested in. Yeah. I hope that that's a trend that ends. UFC 217 should be good i i really want to see garbrandt and dillashaw fight um and and i think uh thug rose is fighting that uh i can't pronounce her god damn name that yeah uh joanna champion is the name that's what they call

her for people who can't pronounce it okay that's cool yeah her last name we'll see if that name stays oh it it's well online it's it's like it's more common than her name is joanna jacek or something very close to that ah yeah i can it it's uh it's really simple to pronounce but when you look at it she should spell it phonetically because it's easy to say yeah but when you look at it you're like fuck she's like those polish names she is polish and uh it's it's yeah she's i think it's just jay check it's like as simple as that but it's like when you when you read it it's outrageous uh but but what but what i'm saying is like if thug rose kicks her ass then she's not the champ

anymore yeah yeah thug rose will get her second title shot which is a sketchy thing because it's hard to get three unless you're eye of favor yeah i saw a uh there's this clip um it's like most awkward ufc like crowd moments or whatever you know how when there's a ufc event they'll put the camera on like famous people who are in the audience and uh it's i don't remember exactly who it was but i think it's like ronda rousey another famous person and thug rose are sitting there and the camera's on all three of them but they don't know who Thug Rose is so they don't even mention her. But Thug Rose

can of course not hear the broadcast so the thing that she does is completely unrelated to the fact that they didn't know her name. She's like staring at the camera completely like dead faced for like a solid ten seconds and it's bizarre. It's really funny when you see it

is she still with pat berry i have no idea she's got that shaved head now which is sick that yeah her husband got into drugs um what does it people take before heroin opiates i don't know my drugs that well yeah like like pills like opiate pills like painkillers he got into that um he did a video about it this isn't me guessing and yeah painkillers i'll go with that and um he was describing like like doctors would prescribe it for him and he would just take them all he's like that's just how i'm wired the more the merrier like i'm about all the everything i'm extreme i'm head first into all the things i do and if you know pat barry at all he's so energetic and enthusiastic and funny and great and you're like like you can see why he became a world-class athlete you can see why he got into this and why like everything

he does is hyper dive 100 full speed run run run and you're like oh my god he pointed that at drugs oh my gosh i can see why it went so poorly for him yeah especially opiates you you build up a i've never i can't think of the times when like i've been prescribed them because i don't like that they make me feel maybe feel really spacey and out of it it's an uncomfortable feeling itchy too yeah that's the main side effect i hate now that i think about it the itchiness is just i can't deal with that it's fucking i can i took uh i don't know what that stuff anti-itch cream is um like an antihistamine cream but last time i was on those i was rubbing it everywhere and like like getting it in deep to try to like get the itch to go away

because it's so just it's a ferocious itch i i never take all my painkillers i can't imagine getting addicted to those i think the thing is, that after you've been using them for a while, those side effects all go away. I know people who have chronic pain and stuff, and they're like, no, I don't get itchy. I get better. I mean, most people feel like most people don't get itchy from them.

I don't like it. I had painkillers for my leg on, of course, I had the surgery Tuesday, and the last one I took was actually on the show on that thursday and that's when i stopped so uh yeah well that's probably enough for now we can talk about ted cruz's porn habits on pk this week yes let's not let's not spoil the hat i gotta watch that vid i gotta find that video and watch it oh yeah i know you will find it and so link us yeah it's a reality kings video it looked to me like a wife was like discovering her husband with another woman and instead and

being a little shocked at first but then being like all right and just diving right in it looked like that kind of scenario that will be topic number one you know the meme that's oddly popular where like a guy's holding the hand and they did that of those for Ted Cruz with like his wife yeah his wife was like and he's looking at the poor girl and his wife you know looks like she looks huh I don't think she's terrible I need to look her up she's not a ghoul yeah she let's let's save this topic though okay okay okay all right PK in episode 160