Painkiller Already - PKN #162

Episode Date: October 6, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

We pressed it! I think we even got your C-bomb in there. My hair looks... For those of you who don't know, Kyle says cunt before and after every single episode. And it just depends whether or not it gets in. Yeah, I'm usually like, I click the button, we'll see, because it takes like a semi-random amount of time. I mean, it is obviously a window, but yeah. So, Taylor, you're psyched for the new twitter 280 character limit oh so psyched no i was i just saw it on twitter because 280 characters is trending and it's like like twitter

is already frustrating enough having conversations with people like anything that's like serious like we don't need even longer diatribes like it's only bearable now because so many people try and argue in like 140 characters and they end up going nah not worth it i can't get my point across and then you're saved like a whole nother argument your arguments will reach next level right though is it that the goal you know that could be you know what it's all wrong finally you two will find common ground. If we just had more characters. It was a character limit problem.

Exactly. That's what it was. We're headed toward nuclear war. That's what Twitter has done to us. Because now Donald Trump is going to be able to insult Kim Jong-un with 280 characters at a time. Yeah, and he's already very efficient with his words and how he's like, very bad, no good, ratings. So he's already queued up for 140 characters. He's going to have a field day with 280.

Yeah, he's going to nail him to the wall with this. The war will be soon. Mark my words. We've got like six months before this thing kicks off. Like, it's coming. That's ridiculous. The great Twitter war, as it will be known the great twitter war i just don't like like i like being able to scroll through my twitter timeline and read everything succinctly you know like you're you're going to be doubling

it instantly because already nobody like what 95 of tweets take all the characters up most people like use everything they can, and the exact same thing is going to happen. And it's not going to make the arguments better. It's just going to make people lazier in their articulation of it. I'm on the other page. I feel like a lot of what I want to say can't be done in 140 characters. And I do get the value of making people think twice and become more concise. But, you know, I can't tell a joke.

I can't share a point. I can't ask a question. And if you share a point. I can't ask a question. And if you need to throw in, like, a URL in there or something to, like, go with it, there's a reason that... That's a good point. So many people, when they tweet, it takes them three to five tweets to say it. You know, we were talking about Trump a second ago.

Trump does that a lot. You know, Trump can't make his points in 140 characters either. Well, you would hope he couldn't, right? right like you want your president to have something to say if if he came out and he was just like everything's good no problems peace oh shit we really needed some more content boss could you yeah wheel it back out there the man needs a little more space to uh insult the new apprentice host you can't get that done. Your point there about being fewer threads, I do like that, and the URL thing,

that's compelling to me too, because you're right, it is annoying when you look at a tweet thread, and it's like one backslash, and they start, and you open it up, and there's like 30 of them, and it's like, oh my god. At this point, there's no point in having a character limit at all, because this motherfucker wrote what they they wanted and they were not going to make it any

more concise they were going as many tweets as they needed so at this yeah at least that would help with that well that's good anyway yeah i think also i think it's a really good move i think that like business wise forget about the ui but i think that a lot of people are moving to places where they're not quite that constrained you know i might prefer to say something on a Facebook or an Instagram where you can get your point out. Whenever the UFC fighters want to talk about an injury they just had or an opponent or a win or a loss or share some message, they can't use Twitter. Twitter is – what do you get? Like 12 words? I guess those are big words.

But yeah, you get 15 15 words 25 words on twitter and you cap out it takes longer than that to like thank your fans or apologize that people are moving to instagram for that reason so uh yeah i think twitter is making the right move from from like a they'll make their platform better we'll see because that was their thing you know their thing was like boom boom, quick input, quick output. Just put it out there, pick it up, it's done. And now they're trying. Now what's the difference between them and Instagram?

What is the difference? The difference now between them and Instagram is that Instagram still has more text limit. Yeah. Right? And so, yeah, you're right because a lot lot of people, especially I guess, fighters and athletes, they'll write their message on Instagram and then just tweet out the link to their Instagram post. Yeah.

I would say to me, the difference is, and I'm not tied into all the platforms, but Instagram is picture focused. I know Twitter can have pictures, but it doesn't have filters that make your pictures look sepia or old timey or all these girls can't put puppy noses and ears on their faces on have pictures but it doesn't have filters that make your pictures look sepia or old-timey or all these girls can't put puppy noses and ears on their faces on twitter it's a secondary is it

just snapchat you might be right maybe it's everywhere i don't know but but like the only place i see women with puppy faces is on snap dude i am fucking done with the puppy face nonsense that you see everywhere because it is like all of these kyle you know you've got i started playing with it i like plenty of fish and and the rest i've never put put one on myself but video what all of these do is it thins their face and contours it in the bottom and it's like like you will see a girl's photo and be like oh that's a cute little dog face thing she did and you scroll to another one and it's like oh my god no no no it wasn't just a dog thing that was tapering chins that was getting rid of blemishes that was hiding you know horrible noses and and bad hair like it's it's tricky and i

don't like it because so you have more expertise than me me not paying much attention to this stuff always assumed that the puppy face was a cute way to look not cute right like i don't really care what i look like here's me with dog ears when you know damn well that like you're not being it's it's the equivalent of posting just got out of bed pictures but like cheating at it because you're not actually yeah faux humility like a like yeah you know i'm easy i i get along a little brian got the camera look at this picture he took of me she's like laid out like a like yeah you know i'm easy i i get along little brian got the camera look at this picture he took of me she's like laid out like a sports illustrated model like holy shit he put looks like he's bouncing a lot of light off you there brian i compliment little bobby on his uh the light box and the filter and yeah so anyway i always thought the puppy ears were a way to

like make you look not as good but like faux not as good, because we all know. I'll tell you what I do like, because someone sent me some puppy ear shit the other day, and they were like, look at all the different things you can do on here, because I think they were new to it, too. And I was like, well, it took me a minute, I guess, literally, to find that aspect of Snapchat. I guess literally to find like that aspect of Snapchat and then there's a video thing so like you know I'm rear facing camera so now my face has been superimposed into a completely different background and when

I hold the button it takes video and so my face is now superimposed on a guy's body who's riding one of those old timey bicycles where the front wheel is enormous and he's going over bumps so I react to the bumps I'm like oh ah and i'm looking around and when i'm done i've got like this five second video that's fucking hilarious at least to me

and and there's a bunch of them like that so i kind of like that stuff now but it may just be because i haven't used snapchat very long and it hasn't worn thin on me yet i know you guys don't like it but the new iphone so it has a facial recognition into it. But it's like 3D facial modeling. It's different than what Android has with the 2D thing. And one of the ways that they use this, of course, because it's 2017 and we're talking about phones, is to like face paint. And it's taken what Snapchat does,

which roughly recognizes where your nose is, times 10. And the demo looked pretty cool for it, although I don't know. Was that the panda thing? There was a panda one. He had a green face paint at one point too. And apparently because they have a dedicated camera, like just 3D modeling of your face as opposed to the regular front-facing one, and a dedicated chip that they've been working on for like four years

that interprets faces, like they have a facial recognition chip that it allows them to do better dog ears than we've ever seen before. Oh my. I was reading about the next Android for next year. The Android X.

Oh, is that what they're calling it? Yeah, and it's bendable. I don't know to what degree because there are no demos of this thing yet. But like I'm hoping I'm really hoping that you've got a phone like this like a regular you know flat phone and you can just fold that bitch in half like just fold it in half and it's like a flip phone that flips open to this like these are features that nobody asked for and nobody needs I didn't needs. I disagree. Do you want a bendy phone?

So I have a – I don't have it in my pocket. But I have the bigger iPhone. They don't even make them that big anymore. It's the 7 Plus. And what's nice about it is because I'm older, the bigger font helps me read. That sucks. It's a whole other topic. But what's the downside of it is like if you fold it in half

like a wallet then that would be a lot nicer to carry i like that but all what i will accept from bendy phone technology is durability like if what comes out of it is you drop it and don't even worry that it breaked broke then then that's a that's a win too yeah i was what i saw a demo and and maybe you saw it on reddit too of uh maybe it was an lg smart tv but it's like paper thin he had a 70 it's that black guy who does tech reviews he had a 77 inch television and he's holding it and it looked like poster board he's like he's like holding a 77 inch like like manipulating it and like turning it sideways and it is blade thin i mean like a couple of cup maybe a centimeter two centimeters i'm so here are my initial thoughts

as i'm hearing about and i didn't see the uh the thing that you both saw part of me is like that sounds nice because i don't like it when big tvs dominate the furniture it's one of the reasons we have a projector in our living room because like a tv if it sticks out and it's a lot and it takes over the room like visually so I think it's nice to have a screen that thing though like a one hand yeah that would solve the problem and projectors have their own issues you know they don't work very well if it's not dim enough and there is a loud noisy fan and things like that it all sucks but uh the downside is, like, I'm coming from, like, 109, which is, that might be twice as big as 77.

Like, that would be a big drop. Yeah, I was thinking more like, because it's like $11,000 or $12,000. And I think, like, you could just get a 6,000, if you want a big TV that's 4K. You could just get a 6,000, $7,000 TV and just build it into your wall and and then you don't have it jutting that looks nice for for a thousand if you hire a professional you know you'll have that thing inset into the wall and it's just it it would be thinner than thin it would literally be even with

the wall if you so desire my parents did that they have like i'm sorry i think i cut you off but it's like crown molding or something that goes around the opening, and it looks nice. Or even, like, what if you had, like, someone was like, well, where's the TV? And you were like, and, like, a picture just moved out of the way and rolled to the television. Slides into the ceiling. No, the ceiling needs to open to receive the picture and then close underneath it. the picture and then close underneath it have you ever seen the uh the mirror tvs where they look like a mirror and then they just become televisions like you can turn on a mirror and then it's a tv not that for tv watching i've seen people do a lot of do-it-yourselvers do it and uh they'll

like have the weather on it or like today's calendar and stuff like that that's in a mirror just like built yeah i've i've seen one of those before and and i had i only seen it once and this was i was i guess 14 and so this was you know 12 years ago and so that obviously the technology for tvs wasn't there i was at the honestly the the richest person's house i've ever been. He was a guy that was on my hockey team, and his grandpa was like some real estate mogul throughout the Midwest and realty mogul. And he was showing us around this palatial estate with our whole hockey team there.

He had two elevators, one on both sides of the house, just in case you didn't want to have to walk to the other elevator. And Brendan, this kid whose grandpa's house it was was like oh you guys gotta come over here Look at this bar, and we're like we're like 14, so you know I really this house is big But they're not gonna let us get shit-faced here and just run around like no no not like that here like grab that remote Handed to me just watch the mirror He clicked it and just this giant giant mirror just boom became cnn and this is like 2004 or something and i was and i was just like what the fuck i never thought we were that poor you know it was insane the dude

had like horses at his house and it was like there aren't even like places to run the horses around here it's like are we just like having them around all right horses i was reading about horse owners on right there was like what is a a hobby for only rich people was the like the ask reddit thing and one of them mentioned horses and people were like god you got horses wrong everyone who owns horses is either really rich or really poor there are apparently a lot of people who love horses to the point that they stay in a trailer next to the horses and devote... They sink themselves

financially just so that they can be horse owners. That doesn't make sense to me. Because I know it depends on the horse you have. If you want a thoroughbred racing horse, yeah, it costs as much as a house. But if you want a horse you, yeah, it costs as much as a house. But if you want a horse you can ride, it costs as much as an ATV.

You know, two or three thousand dollars. Yeah. A couple thousand dollars to get you a horse. So it sounds like you know more than me. The feeding, the vet bills, the stable cost. Like, isn't it like a half an apartment to keep a horse? I mean, they can live out in a field. I know lots of people.

Again, it depends on the level of horse you have. But the people that I know that have horses, they've got a barn that the horse might go into occasionally, and they feed it stuff. But it's not expensive. It's like a big dog. It's like having three dogs, like feeding that thing. I wonder.

It's like having three dogs. I like that. Yeah. I have a hard time accepting that. I don't know how to say it, but people who have horses. I said this before. You could have a dog, but you're not necessarily a dog person. You just have a dog, like lots of people do.

When you have a horse, you're a horse person. All of a sudden, you're like monitoring their flatulence. Just like, oh, I bet my horse feels better now. That was quite a whopper. And you're weird. You're a horse person. It's not my experience. You're like a bird person.

If you own a bird, you are a bird person. You know, we got a horse. His name is Dandy. And, you know, we bought Dandy. It's like a bird person. If you own a bird, you are a bird person. You know, we got a horse. His name is Dandy. And, you know, we bought Dandy. It was a couple thousand dollars. And Dandy was a big old fucking brown horse. He was beautiful. And he lived in the field.

Dude, in the list of horse names, like, you know how they're like, oh, Muhammad is the most common name in the UK for babies. Like, Dandy has to be, like, in the top two or three worldwide for horse names. That sounds like the perfect horse name. He came with a name, and he knew it. You'd call Dandy over there, and he'd eat an apple out of your hand. I rode him a bit. It was fun or whatever, but he lived out there with the cows. He never had any medical issues.

Was he raised alone? I have no idea. Around no other horses? All right, you bought him as an adult? No, I bought him as an adult, but he was definitely

raised with other horses because the lady that we got him from was a horse lady, and she had, like, a stable full of horses, and she ran a horse camp. Now,

she had overhead. She had a stable with many stalls in it, and each stall had a horse, and every horse had to be brushed, and every horse had a saddle and all the accessories that come along with it. But I think horses are fairly affordable unless you want to get into it.

There are classes of horses and there are horse snobs and just like with everything, you know, with cars and stuff like that, like like Chiz was showing us those Mustangs and stuff the other night. They were like forty eight hundred dollars and seventy nine other night. They were like $4,800 and $7,900. And it's like, oh, yeah. But somewhere there's some guy with a brand new Roush Mustang. And then he put another $40,000 in it. And then he had to get his track time in.

And he's got a professional trainer. It depends what level you want to go to. But you could totally get a horse for a couple thousand dollars, man. If someone offered me a horse for free,'d say no thank you right they said sir you've you've won a radio contest you win a free thoroughbred horse shit be like all right like do i do i can i get like blues tickets or something like how many how many blues and cardinals tickets is that tinder date fuel and that's way more useful to me. I don't know, man.

You show up on that horse, and you're like, come on, climb on up. Careful, Dandy's back isn't too good. If you could just walk behind us. Yeah. I'm a low class. This is the Honda Civic of horses. Yeah, I would not want a horse. I would never want a bird i just i can't see myself

wanting any kind of pet for real other than a dog like even given the option of monkey like when push came to shove i'd be like you know what no this is not practical it's going to break things and lose things and be a nuisance to everyone who comes over here's what you need though and this is just me thinking right here, but like, what if, like, you had one of those helper monkeys who've been trained to help some disabled person, and then the disabled person dies,

and then you get a second-hand monkey, right? And they're like, ah, this is Ginger, she's a capuchin master helper monkey, don't worry about the diapers, she knocks on the door and rings the bell whenever she'd like to go outside. That's her poop tree out there. Just tell her which one and she'll know from now on.

Ginger, that's your poop tree. Now she knows. See, it's good. And she knew like 50 commands or something. Then you'd want Ginger. You'd want Ginger the capuchin helper monkey. Until you realize the poop tree is where she climbs up to throw poop at you. Well, she does throw poop.

She is a monkey. She'll throw poop at you. Well, she does throw poop. She is a monkey. She'll throw it at whoever you want. You got a used lime? Like that secondhand smoothie. Yeah, secondhand monkey. No, I still don't think I would accept the secondhand monkey, because at the end of the day, it is going to wreck your shit and climb up on your counters and break

dishes and just just be a little asshole because primates are kind of just assholes in a way like they're smart enough to know how to upset other animals like when i when a dog does something like eat the garbage it and it sees your face like it puts its head down you know it knows that it did something wrong but it doesn't it never maliciously did that It never thought I'm gonna get its attention by spreading garbage around like monkeys will do that like I guarantee they would spitefully pick up You know old food from the garbage and throw it around don't you think dogs spitefully do things every so often, too? I? Think that they think they're gonna get away with it. I don't think they do it from spite. I think that they'll uh You know they'll be like well How will you ever ever will you ever even know i got in the trash i know i'm not

supposed to get like i don't think that they have that part of the brain that has the action consequence kind of thing i think that they're thinking like i can get in the trash as long as he's not here and he'll never know how would he know and then once he's done he's like oh shit he's gonna know like i don't think he can make that leap forward in time to like action and and uh result i feel like we've had some dogs that did some malicious destruction uh over in our time like yeah we ignored them all day we did this we did that so we got pissed at us we've had some revenge damage perhaps do that yeah yeah cats are cunts that's right I don't

understand cat people like I know I don't want shit on Hutch's cat because his cat was was sick you know I didn't want to go into a whole thing about how cat people are awful people because his cat was sick but like I don't get it and like I've known people who had cats and they're like oh yeah that's Tigger over there go pet Tigger and there. Go pet Tigger. And you go over, and Tigger bites the shit out of you with those fangs. And you're like, what the fuck? And you're like, oh, he's never done that before.

You're a fucking liar. You're a liar, and your cat is a cunt. Oh, and by the way, I was just being polite before. Your apartment smells like cat shit all the time. Oh, and cat urine. Dog urine is no prize. I will give you that. But cat urine is special.

That is an odorous, lasting thing that makes that thing smell like cat urine until you throw it away. It's recognizable. Like when you smell cat piss, you're like, oh, that's cat piss. That is cat piss. Just like a skunk or maybe rotting meat like it's one of those smells that you know recognizable isn't it like you could smell something when you're nine then you go back into that environment you're like oh yeah that rings a bell the the olfactory sense is the strongest one tied to memory yep interesting well yeah definitely which is why that's what i was

walking around in the yes which is why you'll like be walking around in the woods or something and smell like a flower that you smelled as a kid and then just have a vivid, long memory about it. It's really neat. But, yeah, the... What the fuck are we talking about? Monkeys? Oh, cats! Yeah, I... That's really the worst part about cats.

Isn't their shitty personality or the fact that they would eat your face within two seconds of you dying. Like, that's not it. The worst part is the smell. You can be the best cat owner, so attentive, you know, cleaning that litter box after every bowel movement and pee. And it still will permeate and smell like pee. Like, it's just, there's a cat smell and it sucks. I will say one thing that i one cat i might get on board with is the outdoor cat if the cat only existed outdoors and you know cleaned up

mice and he was just like a part-time like take it or leave it kind of partner that sounds neat to me you know that's sure not too far from like a bird that liked me. You know? Like, yeah. Oh, look, there's Danny the Eagle. Yeah, he lives outside. Every so often he lands right here on the fence. And when I walk up to him, he's not a dick.

That's my relationship with this bird. I think that'd be neat. If I had a cat that did that, I think that'd be neat. Yeah, I would definitely be cool with an outdoor cat. As long as there was a mutual understanding of, like, you know, if it's ever raining really hard or something and you show up at this door, you remain an outdoor cat. Like, there's no, you know, hall pass to come in for the day.

Here's the compromise I make. You could occasionally be a porch cat. Yes, that's what you can be. Be a porch cat and huddle under the little awning yeah if it's really cold out i can imagine a scenario where you're a garage cat but that's as far as we go a garage cat with like two towels on the ground good luck oh yeah exactly thank god i got you a little dog house fuck off cats do all kinds of annoying things, though. They like to get on your car. Your hood will be warm.

They like to get up there and pitter-patter all around it and leave those little muddy cat prints. And, like, I remember as a kid, a cat, like, crawled into the engine of my dad's truck. And when he started it up, he was like, yee-yee-yee. Hoorah! And it just got sucked into the fan belt and just destroyed in there and then you had to pick all the pieces of cat out it was the smell yeah that is an annoying cat your father made quite the sacrifice that day i just had to pressure wash it you couldn't even pick it all out i can imagine the horrors your father feast have you ever seen

threw the cat into the fan belt he went in there in his own accord then we had to go somewhere a friend of mine on like day three of having his license when we were all 16 he was driving at night and he hit an owl like a full-size giant goddamn owl and it got stuck in his grill like have you seen that before where animals you know they hit the grill so hard that it's just like a mangled mess of whatever the fuck it hit and he uh yeah killed an owl on like his third day driving around and it really freaked him out because he said he he saw it coming in a way where he saw it swooping. It was in the distance. He said he saw it swoop down.

And he was like, you know, I just took my permit, my driver's test. Rule four is you never swerve off the road for an animal. Always maintain your speed and continue straight. And he's like, it'll move. It'll move. It's like all the other birds. It'll and then it just didn't move. Went right into the grill of that fucking Chevy Cobalt.

Nice. And that was it. Question for you guys. So there's a paramotor pilot. His name is Del Shanze, and he's, like, widely hated in the paramotor community. Now, he released video of himself chasing down an owl, and the owl got tired, and then he kicked it. Yeah. And you can't tell what happens to the owl afterwards.

A lot of people think the owl might have died because it was exhausted and then, like, knocked off his flight path. It was fine. Yeah, or in my theory, actually, I suspect that, you know, much like if Kyle was walking and I pushed him on the shoulder, he'd just wobble a couple steps and be okay. Yeah, you could shove me down as hard as you want i won't die as long as i don't like pull a million dollar baby and like hit a stool

with my neck like i'm good i saw we watched it okay so here's where i was headed with it though a lot of people hated this guy to start with and they are acting like one of the reasons they hate him is that he kicked an owl and i think there's a like cause and effect that they're swapping there that they hated him anyway and he could have kicked a field mouse and they would have hated him you know the is there some reason owls are especially protected and revered and because to me they're just assholes like every other bird i know i i think that they're usually federally protected most raptors are um you know they they eat a ton of pests like they always talk about the number of mice that those hawks and stuff eat and it's it's kind of it's it's usually could like like comparable to they talk about how many uh

the pounds of mosquitoes that a bat will consume they're like you know he eats his body weight and bats every night right like holy shit okay I think all of us are the same way in that, like, while we notice laws, mostly laws just line up with our morality and don't create our morality. You know, they're just, well, you don't kill people, we all get that. But then there are other

things, like, I don't know, I can't think of a good example. Shooting owls? You've been shooting owls over there? You got an owl claw collection in your barn? That's a good one that's a good one report your ass i don't see why shooting an owl from like a moral standpoint is any different than shooting a seagull right they're i i suspect they feel pain roughly i don't think so either why are you shooting seagulls everyone needs a hobby why are you judging seabirds are loud and annoying so i would rather shoot a seabird than an owl like at least owls at night they sound cool so my thing with the

with the birds of prey is that i've always you can tell they're very intelligent because like robins and blackbirds and doves they're just like oh seeds on the ground i'm gonna go out on the ground and peck around and see what i can find you just see they're like hunter gatherer kind of thing but the hawk he's up there and you can see his head scanning and and when they screech or they hoot they're not just doing that for the fuck of it they're trying to like spook prey out of their hiding spot they're trying to get that shrew or that mouse or that rabbit to to bolt and they just seem more intelligent to me. I like those things.

Like there was a hawk that had a nest in our field and like we'd go and like look up at it with the binoculars and, you know, it swooped down with something and feed him. It was really cool. I never have shot a hawk. I never have shot an owl. And they're among the very few critters

that I have not shot. That's a short short list of things that i won't kill and it's and the owls and the hawks and the eagles are on it i i think like if the guy did kick the owl in midair yeah like there's there's a good chance that killed it because like birds by the way i saw the the video. If he kicked it, it's probably dead. It's not like Kyle where I could shove Kyle down, I could punch Kyle, kick him. It's not going to break a bone

unless he falls on a curb or something with a bird. I think the bird was at 150 feet. I'm just throwing that in there. He had some recovery time. He had some recovery time. When you kick with hard shoes or you punch or even slap a bird like it's gonna die you're gonna break at least a few of those brittle little hollow bones and it's not gonna be able to fly

like like wings are so delicate it takes so little to fuck those up like that's why they're always preening and organizing their feathers and getting it just right like yeah I kicked a midair to a bird isn't like oh what an asshole it's like oh good all my left side bones are shattered like that's it like so yeah I bet he killed my what an asshole they were going in the same direction so like it wasn't like an impactful kick but you might be right I mean it definitely he kicked it hard enough to destroy its flight path Yeah, all of a sudden he was you know we watched on the show. I thought it was funny But then we watched on the show. I didn't know yeah, okay

We watched the clip of it like I but I think that burns dead. Yeah. Yeah, I don't care because here's my thing Even playing your owl defense No, no because because of this right like if there's an owl down here on the ground And I blast it with my gun, or if there's a bird on a perch and I slap it, that's fucked up. I've cheated in some way, but this guy took to the air. He flew up there with this thing, and that thing still couldn't evade him on his own turf, is what I'm saying. It's like going in the water and fighting a shark.

I was going to use that analogy. Even playing field, bitch. Not even even. You went to an away game. Yeah. yeah there you go good call yeah yeah so so i saw i i wouldn't do that i don't think i i certainly wouldn't record it and upload it like i'd show some friends or something like look at this i went up into the sky whooped the birds ass like like you know it's kind of funny and i thought it crashed into a tree my guess guess is it's alright. It looked like it got bumped. It got bumped and then it

lost its whatever aerodynamic principles were keeping it up there kind of faltered. I've lost my aerodynamic principles! And he just fucking hit a tree or something. I bet that owl's fine. And who cares? It's an owl in the end.

Although it's not like they're calling this guy's real job and having him fire him or anything. They're just giving him a little shit on the internet, right? Yeah. Well, he went to federal court. Ah. So I don't actually know. Here's where it is.

I'm careful about saying this. He allegedly did all this. And I'll say, so the'm careful about saying this. He allegedly did all this. So the guy, the way he talks is really enthusiastic and slightly more higher pitched than most guys. And he also never uses curse words. So you hear him, and if you've heard him, it's very distinctive, his speaking pattern. He's like, oh, I kicked an owl's butt,

I kicked an owl's butt, ah, I kicked an owl's butt. Who says kicked owl's butt? It really seemed like it was him to me, allegedly. And he went to court, and I thought he lost. But then he claims he sued someone and got a million dollars because they falsely accused him of kicking the owl. And I'm like, but I saw it. I don't know. I don't know how it went down.

You did kick me out. But I saw what is undeniable is he went to there's people, there's cameras and he got on the news for this owl kicking trial. I'm just not 100% sure what the outcome of it was. I'll have to look it up.

That was dumb of him to do because maybe I just give people more credit than the they deserve because like we you know i hunted so much so we knew like what yeah if you're bird hunting and there are birds flying in the air like something that my dad would tell me early is like like oh you can't shoot this bird you can't shoot that bird you know anybody's looking anyway you can't shoot this bird you can't shoot that bird like these are the protected birds we were dove hunting once and a pigeon flew over and pigeons and doves look very similar the pigeons is bigger

Especially and light right yeah, yeah, well as a hunter like at this point I can recognize there's a very did I can recognize the different flight patterns and the wing shapes and stuff like that But back then I was 13 blasted this big fat fucking pigeon wasted him And I go up to get my bird and his leg is banded He's got a band on his leg that says like I don't know Athens ornithologist like Institute or some shit like that And she's like oh god. What do we do? It's like we destroy the evidence. That's what we do We burn the bird Did you bury it? We buried the bird gave him a proper

burial there and everything it was a hundred percent accident and i it was an easy mistake to make and i don't even think it was protected to be honest i i really don't like you could shoot a pigeon there's no law against shooting pigeons it's just like i kind of felt this is a banded bird like i didn't seem like a good thing to do. But then I was at a dove field once, and a hawk flew over. And the difference between a red-tailed hawk and a dove is huge. The doves have this crazy swooping, darting flight pattern. They fly up to 45 miles per hour. They're only about this big.

They're flapping their wings. They fly in a flock, usually three, four at a time at least. And here came this big fucking hawk coming into the field and johnny asshole up and i'm watching it i'm like oh look i hope nobody boom boom oh oh god oh god and like two guys had fired the shots and now they're arguing with one another you shot it oh i missed you you shot it oh i didn't, I missed! You shot it! Uh-oh, I didn't! And while they're arguing,

someone with common sense is like, I was about to say his name, but another gentleman is like, while y'all fucking dumbasses argue, I guess I'll clean up the goddamn evidence before the game warden gets here and locks us all up! And sure enough, he goes down there and gets the bird and disposes of it,

and the game warden shows up five minutes later and starts walking through the field checking licenses and seeing it smelling people's breaths and he just like he had a few beers over there he's like i had a few why don't you go sit under that tree for a little while and and burn them off before you come back out all right then and then you know but if you don't have a license he's kind of a cool game warden i guess that guy was okay well you're allowed to drink while you're hunting he couldn't say oh i can't drink while you're hunting i i don't know about that um i don't think so i don't think you're allowed to drink and hunt the uh i've never done it before but i've seen enough shows

that i'm pretty sure uh king of the hill wouldn't lead me wrong they would whenever you see paintball on a tv show first thing they do everybody's masks off having a conversation behind a log can't do that shit in real life you lose your goddamn eyeball it gets blasted out it really was yeah so like yeah you can't drink and hunt um but but he was cool about that but growing up when i was like when we were deer hunting we dealt with the most cuntish game warden of all time. He would check our licenses daily. Daily he would check them. Like to see if we'd gotten a deer, which is bullshit.

That's not his job to see what we've been up to. It's to see if we're licensed or to perhaps catch us in the act of doing something. And there was like a dead baby chicken all crustified in the back of my dad's truck. And he's like, what's that, a quail? I was like, no, it's a's like what's that a quail like no the chicken It's not even quail season Like now you're trying to incriminate us here you asshole like like he would he would sit we hunted over this massive Corn and soybean farm it was like eight thousand

Acres and it's split into many parcels and there's roads going through it and stuff He would sit on a bridge and park his truck, turn it off, and he'd sit there and listen for a gunshot. And then he'd drive to the gunshot and try to make sure you've done everything. What an asshole. He harassed us on a daily basis. They eventually fired him because he harassed so many people. He was a real cunt.

It would be like Woody as a lifeguard, like constantly interrupting games of marco polo and whatnot just to jump it just had to be sure nobody was drowning you gave away where we all are you made us open our eyes all right you enjoy the next 20 minutes of play i'm gonna come check up on you that's great like yeah but really for that one that guy kicking it like it's not that i have a heart breaking for the owl it's that because i empathize so much with kicking it, it's not that I have a heart breaking for the owl. It's that because I empathize so much with it.

It's that I just don't like people who hurt animals for fun. There's no reason for it. If I see a bunny that's super friendly or an owl or a pelican waddling towards me, there's no part of me that's like, I'm going to drop kick this motherfucker so hard

and upload it to YouTube. That kind of shows character flaw already. If you think it's okay to just hurt an animal for fun and then be like, everybody's going to get a kick out of this, it's like, no. No, you're clearly not a normal person. You really missed the mark on how everybody else perceives things like this.

You look like an asshole. Yeah, the guy he i don't know how to put it like i want to say he's on the autism spectrum but it's not really autism but he doesn't relate to other people he doesn't predict how they'll respond to his actions and it's uh he's pretty far out of the norm he's not dumb uh he's had a couple successful businesses, but he's just... He doesn't register quite right. Like harming animals for fun. I know what you're thinking, Kyle.

Screw off. I was like, is he talking about himself? Nah. This guy is times ten. Did Woody kick the bird? No, Woody would not kick a bird in midair for fun you would not I would never put it on youtube that yeah but yeah yeah so he's pretty far out there. Anyway. I'm trying to think of what else is new in the world.

I swear I've only been paying attention to politics and politics. I mean, women in Saudi Arabia can drive. Oh, can they? I mean, they are now allowed to get their license, but they still have laws on the books where it's like, and you must be accompanied by a male before you leave the house. And so it's like, oh, so really what you've done is you've provided all the lovely men of Saudi Arabia with chauffeurs. Yeah. Like, the passage is going.

You're right. One more step, though. Like, it's a step. If they could get rid of that whole chauffeur thing. Oh, God. There is something going on. Let me start over. Bill Maher sometimes speaks for me, right?

And I like the way he takes liberals to task, even though he is one like I am kind of one, you know, next to them. And he's like, look, you wouldn't put up with the shit that happens to women for one second if it was happening to like black people, if it was South Africa, if it was apartheid, if it was this or if it was that.

But what the Muslims do to women is just, hey, part of their culture, it's all cool. And them being attached to a guy all the time, they have no freedom, that means they can't have jobs, it means they can't have their own stability. And it seems like at least some Muslims, not all, don't get me wrong, look at like a woman walking down the street by herself as some sort of slut target that you can do anything you want to. Not even a whole woman, not a real person.

And that is wild to me. And Saudi Arabia, in spite of the fact that they're a U.S. ally for some reason, is still that way. of the fact that they're a U.S. ally for some reason is still that way. They're on the U.N. Human Rights Tribunal and they hang gay people from cranes and they throw apostates off

of buildings and it's like, Jesus Christ. That is a Trumpian cabinet level appointment. They have that police force for witchcraft and wizardry that's some harry potter shit they're literally government agents whose job is to search out and find the witches who are operating within the within saudi arabia and then arrest them and punish them for

their witchcraft i knew a guy from saudi arabia and i was i was talking to him for a while he spoke good english but he moved here like as an adult so he still you know he knew how shit worked there and so sometimes we just talk and i'd ask him like what like what what's one of the biggest differences like what's it like there compared to here like do like i know you guys like sell a lot of hash and weed and stuff over there so is that like your guy's thing instead of drinking because i know you can't drink and he's like oh no no no do you know what the punishment is in Saudi Arabia for possession of drugs? And I was like, no. You go to prison or religious prison, he's like, death.

The punishment is death. So, no, I have never tried marijuana. And I was like, all right, you know what? I don't blame you one bit for not trying. He was saying, like, Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels and Jim Beam Jim Beam and like American liquors are super popular on the black market. So a bottle that's like fifty dollars here is like two hundred plus there and you have to drink it in secret. And he told me that the regular police, if they catch you drinking, they'll be like, hey, cut that out. I'm seizing that.'m taking it no more for you

but if the religious police which like Kyle said are a separate thing the Sharia police if they catch you drinking you are fucked end of story you might be hanged in public might as well have a gun fight what the hell

your odds are about the same. It's just a crazy, so far in the past world to think of. They just today allow women to drive. You can find stories, like I said, of them throwing gay people off of buildings or apostates.

It is a totally different world. Scary. On a lighter note, did anyone watch the new Rick and Morty? I did not. I've been defending this whole season and this episode just didn't excite me.

It was a meh episode. I'm really into the backstory. I want to know Rick's... They've thrown it out there that there was that period of time where rick left his family and he was gone and there are those pictures of him holding baby morty in birdman's apartment and there's this mystery about that and about rick's origin story about what happened to rick's wife and all that's out there and i'm interested in that as much as i was ever interested in Jon Snow's origin.

You know, like, that to me is the crux of the show. I feel like, I hope, that when we get to the bottom of that, there's going to be a mind-blowing moment, or this moment of, like, a really powerful episode, at least, where you see something about, where something about Rick is revealed, where something that we didn't know, kind of a Hodor moment, something's going on, and so I did appreciate the little tidbits that we got about that. We learned that Beth's mother was gone, whether she left or she died, at an early age, right? Because Beth spent her time in Joopie land or whatever it was that Rick had made for her.

Was it Floopy? May have been. And then I thought that the way that guy had survived in there, that was comical to me. That's just one joke. Yeah, that's just one joke. And then after that, we didn't even get to see Beth massacre the jupey incest progeny. It was just okay. And then honestly, the timeline or the part of the story with Morty and his sister and their dad and the ailing girlfriend just seemed contrived.

It was like, oh, and what could they be doing during all this? I don't know. Let's just make up some silly shit that doesn't really factor into the big story at all. It's just a one-off goof that's not even that funny at all. Just a little bit of a relationship kind of story. They defined Beth in a new way, though. I guess we always knew she was smart. She was Rick's kid.

Horse surgeon. Horse surgeon and veterinarian. But to this episode, they kind of defined her as a Rick. That he is like her. Or she is like him, I mean to say that that she's a massive fighter right she can go in there and massacre like 30 normal people like rick can't and i disagree with that because those those things she was massacring were like gummy bear people like like they they were so defenseless in every regard and

so out of the know. She just seemed to slice and dice those things. I think you're right. But I think that we were seeing Beth grow into Rick. A little. I didn't see that before. Before, I always thought she was very proud of her horse open heart surgery, and that was kind of

where it ended. Now, she's a violent super intelligent person and now you know like oh we know that that's rick yeah i i gleaned a few things from the episode i thought like like for the overall story one i don't think i don't think uh rick cloned her you know he offered her that to make a clone of her that didn't get the answer to that what indicated that she didn't to you because she goes over the refrigerator and she says something like i know what's really important and she touches a picture of her family and then next scene she's like with her at the table with her family uh i feel like she was like no i this is what's important to me i and i feel like that's what was kind of she found

something out about herself you know and and she realized that her family was so important and and it seemed like she was reaffirming that and and i bet she'll get back with jerry next episode just about to ask that i would i bet that's the cliffhanger for next episode because it's the last one of the season oh if that's the cliffhanger i will i fucking boo boo boo it there better be some real i don't like nobody cares says nobody nobody's down yeah nobody cares. Boo, boo, boo. Boo, boo, boo. Says Kyle. Two thumbs down. Nobody cares about their relationship. I mean, it's a part of the show and everything. The whole season was built on it.

And the reason that I don't have an issue with it, if that's the cliffhanger, is last season, the cliffhanger was amazing. Cliffhanger was amazing. And it was like, I didn't know how he was going to get out of that prison. I didn't know what prayer he had it was like what is it i thought it was going to take like five episodes for morty and his sister to try to crack that no he would just like oh i don't know smart my way out of it in the first 120 seconds and then kill a bunch of people and i'm free and it's like okay you know it was a letdown yeah yeah i i so the cliffhanger apparently is just the first minute of the next season and then they do whatever they want it had better be evil morty

and uh the council of ricks or the the cathedral of ricks or whatever that thing's called called called uh that that that is the important thing to me that That's what I care about. That's the galactic evil or whatever. That needs to cause a problem for Rick. That needs to come and let him come kill Jerry. Or let him kill Beth. I want Evil Morty to come. Let him kill Beth and Jerry.

I don't give a shit about either of their stories. I like that. He kills Beth and Jerry and then Rick like, I guess I'll adopt you kids. He's like the new daddy i'm your daddy now i'd be okay with that yeah daddy rick like jerry i am i'm so bored by and every scene that has jerry and beth in it i just tune out like it's not funny it's it's it's like making jokes about a horrible yet kind of understandably realistic marriage that lost all its love and they're staying together for the kids. And it's like, this is more just depressing and annoying to watch than it is humorous. I'm with you now.

Two seasons ago, I wasn't. Two seasons ago, like, they'd take a little, like, dig at each other. And I'm like, ooh, like like i'm not used to less than thriving marriages on my tv you know and so it was neat like wow they're they're actually arguing and they'd make up by the end of the episode so it was it was interesting to me but at this point the version of jerry that is just a sad guy it's not not, I'm not down with it. It's not interesting. I also don't know how many more times I can listen to a character

give a carbon copy of the same monologue while pretending that it's like paving new ground. Where like every single monologue is like, nothing matters, Morty. Nihilism is the only way to go. You know, that kind of shit. And it's like, we got it.

We got it. We got it, Justin Roiland or whoever's writing this. You're an oh-so-deep nihilist who's too cool for everything, but you just reformat that same shit into different monologues at the end of every episode to show how cool and distant Rick is, where it's like, this isn't, I don't know, are you guys noticing that too? It's the exact same theme over and over and over of i'm so it's like almost like nihilism is like a lazy philosophy because it's like i don't have to actually defend any of of what i'm saying because nothing matters

by virtue of the fact that i already believe this you know and it's that same monologue there's a certain hipster aspect of it too like like too cool to care about anything and it's that same monologue. There's a certain hipster aspect of it, too. Like, too cool to care about anything. Exactly. And it's like, it's not making you cool to me at all. Like you said, it's making you lazy. Like, this nihilism stuff, I'm done with it. I've been hoping... No, go ahead, Kyle.

I've been hoping that they're going to juxtapose that with a big event. Like, maybe Evil Morty comes in and he takes away Rick's ability to access the other dimensions where he could find a spare Morty or a spare Beth. And then all of a sudden Rick has a whole realization type thing where – but we got 22 minutes left of this entire season. So kind of hard to cram all this good writing that I'm doing right now into that since they wasted three or four episodes on horse shit. Here's the thing i wonder so you were you were saying that uh it was a big reveal you were looking forward to oh the the rick origin story right yeah i hope i guess it doesn't matter but i hope they have one right i hope they're not on reddit looking at fan theories picking out the best ideas and implementing them next season. Like that would be a real letdown to me.

Yeah, I agree. If I was writing Rick and Morty, I could see myself doing that. Like I've got a fan. They left all these clues and I'm like, oh, they're going to think I'm genius if I just steal this idea. Do fans of shows ever like – or I guess like fan and show communities ever like retroactively make you dislike a show more? I've had the opposite. You'll be like, this is a pretty good show. And then you'll like find the community

of the show on the internet and be like, ah, these people are so obnoxious. Maybe it isn't that great. Like that? I've had the opposite. I've had this. It happened with both The Matrix and The Matrix 2. I liked them as movies. I enjoyed it. It was an action movie when i first saw the matrix and then

i discovered the fan communities online and they were explaining like all the parallels between neo and jesus and this and that and you know the the wolf man and the vampire actually represented and i was like oh my god this movie's so deep I became like a matrix fan boy even through the second one which a lot of people didn't like as much but I saw it and I was like all right that was good but I don't think I get it you know so then I went online and they explained all the hidden meaning and symbolism behind that matrix 2 and I was like this is so incredible matrix 3 came out and it answered I guess it wrapped it up in such

a way that everything that was so cool all that deep symbolism that I wasn't able to understand on my own was just not true all along. They were just action movies. They weren't that amazing. And it, like, all the because here it is, it's wrapped up and all those other questions didn't get answered, they didn't happen,

it wasn't a thing. The fan community made Matrix better than it actually was Because here it is. It's wrapped up. And all those other questions didn't get answered. They didn't happen. It wasn't a thing. Yep. The fan community made Matrix better than it actually was. And that got exposed on Matrix 3. Yeah, man. Matrix 1 is an absolute classic. It's a real masterpiece. So, so ahead of its time. So many of its camera techniques and special effects were being used there for the first time.

They were pioneering in the industry with that movie. And then the second two were just kind of action movies. And the third one especially is just a real goddamn letdown. Like you're waiting and waiting on those machines to get there. And then they had this gigantic CGI spaghetti mess that pours out of the ceilings. And the answer is a bunch of guys in mech suits with guns. Like,

shouldn't there have been mounted guns and like, shouldn't there have been some shit up there on the ceiling? Like instead of building in mech suits with guns like shouldn't there have been mounted guns and like shouldn't there have been some shit up there on the ceiling like instead of building the mech suits what if we just iron plated that ceiling or something jesus christ we knew they were coming from up there i yeah that makes sense what was i gonna oh lost is another one right like lost was amazing and all the fan theories and complexity and this and that and then when it finally ended you were like oh so all those hints didn't mean anything after the last yeah like there was one episode where they

offered a pretty complete explanation where the whole thing exists inside of Hurley's mind the fat guy and then that was just dropped Walt with the ability to like create the polar bear and whip up things and you know create guitars and the smoke monster and something else coming from his comic book. I wanted to see that.

None of this was explained. It's bad fucking writers, man. It was bad writers because the three of us can sit right here and explain Walt being enormous between seasons two and three or whatever it was. Clearly, they should have been time dilation. Walt is in another dimension learning stuff and becoming super powered Walt. And when he comes back,

they're like, Walt, you're 6'1". What happened, bro? He's like, I have lived a thousand years and learned the experiences of a hundred men and they're just like, oh, well, shit, now we've got a little black godchild with us. This is cool. But no,

they're just like, Walt, he disappeared. He's gone now. What about the polar bear? What about that scene in the beginning where we saw Walt make, you know, they showed a scene where Walt is in the real world before the island and he makes a thing happen with some birds or something. Made a bird crash into a window.

Yeah, yeah. Walt's like a metahuman of some kind. Let's go with that. They were so convoluted with just, oh, and then this silly thing will happen, and that silly thing. And maybe there's dinosaurs on the island. Oh, and there's a whole other group of people, too. Oh, and there's a guy in a hole. And every time he has to hit a button every day or the world ends.

And everybody on the island is magical in one way or another. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just make it one or two of these fucking things. Did they explain the numbers? No, not to my knowledge. They explained the numbers in like eight different ways. And none of them were true. You know what I mean?

They were always coming up with a different explanation. A red herring that would lead you off like oh i got it there's the lotto numbers that's that's where it all came in oh well that's the code you got to punch in so this like no they the writers didn't know so they just kept like leaving these loose ends everywhere and they had such a dedicated passionate fan base that it was just a real dick up the ass to them it was it was a it's i saw someone on reddit recently saying oh now's a good time up the ass to them. It was... I saw someone on Reddit recently saying, oh, now's a good time to go back to Lost. You can binge it,

and the ending's actually a lot better in retrospect. And I was like, no. Fuck you, dummy. No, like, what is... Is this J.J. Abrams? Is this J.J. Abrams' alternate account right here? Did he make boss? I thought he did.

I'm not saying you're wrong. I just didn't. I might not have known his name at the time. I had to fact check myself on that one. J.J. Abrams. Fun fact, J.J. Abrams, the real life person, is actually dead. What? That's just something Kyle does all the time. I thought he...

Oh, yeah. Executive producer, creator. Yeah. Okay. Did you see this thing about Sidney Crosby I linked you to? Oh, the... I linked it by the article. The concussion thing? Yeah, where it says, Doctor is concerned Sidney Crosby has sustained another concussion

after he accepts invitation to Trump White House. I read that too. Very odd picture of Sidney Crosby there. With what is, to Woody's credit, just bad facial hair. not good at all yeah not a good look for him um and a uh episode of vice principals came out i thought i thought it was pretty good um i i like vice principals i'm into it i like that dyke uh vice principal they've got now uh this is little lady. Yeah, yeah.

The only thing she likes better than putting kids in her place is eating pussy. Maybe I will give that show another shot if you're liking it that much. I like it too. I haven't seen the new episode that Kyle talked about. I hate to bring it up on the bad guy. Have you guys followed the politics at all?

The new healthcare bill and such? Nah, I know it's not going to go through so it just didn't seem so i read that here here's what i understand and i was just reading about it today you know how they have until the end of this month uh to do something called budget reconciliation which is nice because you only need 50 or 51 votes i think it's 50 uh but they'll need 60 after september apparently the finance committee can like keep that going like with their next budget also require that reconciliation thing and uh republicans dominate the finance committee so they could maybe maybe the end of september is not the end of the game i don't know i thought it was interesting like oh we're gonna keep doing this you know i figured it was all over after, oh, we're going to keep doing this? You know? I think it's good.

I figured it was all over after this one, for the most point. No, I think this is good, because like, yeah, they started out... This, uh, whatever they call it, the Graham cocksucker bill, whatever they've come up with. Lindsey Graham is such a closet gay man. Like, I wasn't calling... I was saying that whoever the other

name in the bunch is a cocksucker, but like... Cassidy or something. I don't know. You ever hear Lindsey Graham speak? That effeminate voice? I was saying that whoever the other name in the bunch is a cocksucker, but like you ever, yeah, you ever hear Lindsey Graham speak? That effeminate voice, that unmarried 65-year-old effeminate southern man. Like, he is Frank Underwood, except

not successful at all. Frank Underwood is also kind of gay. Except for his own secret service agent. Pretty gay. Yeah, he's only gay in that he seems to like Dick a lot. Yeah. I watched the first half of that movie Legend

where it's got... No, it's the one with... Who's the guy who played Bane? Whose name is escaping me right now. Tom Hardy plays twin brothers who are gangsters in London. True story. And one of them's gay and mentally disturbed. He's mentally disturbed.

He's literally a paranoid schizophrenic. And the other one is very suave and an ex-boxer. And there's a great scene where, like, they walk into a bar to, like, have this meeting with some other gangsters. And they realize these guys aren't here for a meeting. They're here to beat us half to death or most of the way to death and the and the psychopath like he does that thing where he like pokes guns out of his coat he's like i came here for a fucking shootout western style bunch of pussies came with fit what's that rolling pin you got you're gonna bake me a cake blow out my candles for me fucking amateurs and

he just walks out he's like i don't have time for this shit and leaves his brother behind and they all look back at the brother who's pouring himself against us and they're like let's lock it right out on you it does and he's like oh he's just not impressed with you lot he's he that's all and he and and he's like uh the guy that the guy's like, Charlie told us to beat the granny out of you. He's like, well, I hope you don't mind if I fight back, and I brought these. And he's got brass knuckles on. And while he's keeping them all focused on him,

his brother's sneaking back in behind him with a fucking hammer in each hand. A fucking hammer in each hand. Like, closing the door behind him really sneaky he's like i'm gonna tell you a little joke paranoid schizophrenic walks into a bar and then and of course it's his brother walking into the bar and right about then like like he decks two of them and his brother starts going hammer time on him his brother's breaking kneecaps and smashing ribs in and clopping people in the head gets a man and bites a chunk

out of his face and i'm like whoa this is gonna be a great movie and it's just downhill from there just didn't care for it didn't just watch that scene watch like bar fight scene from legend and but it was interesting because that brother was gay and he's very open about it in like the 60s or something like the italian mafioso boss comes over to make some sort of uh cross atlantic deal and he and he's like hey you you ever come to brooklyn or philadelphia i'll get you anything you want any kind of girl you want and he's like i like boys what i like boys i like fucking them and i'm not prejudiced anything i fuck italian boys i even had a negro once i fucked a tahitian lad so hard oh bit him over good hurt him badly i did and the guy's like you've got some balls saying that i i like you hell yeah i like like like clapstick glasses together that shit was interesting but

just i don't know what happened in that movie. I really lost interest fast, like halfway through. Yeah, you're right. It does get worse throughout. I really like Tom Hardy, though. I think he's a great actor. Big fan of Tom Hardy. He's one of my favorites. Yeah, yeah. I hope they make him the next Bond or Wolverine or something like that. They give him something.

Because he could fit into either of those roles, I think. I'm sure Taylor would love it if his favorite actor just got into a nice Wolverine franchise. Keep that going for the next 12 years. Yeah, what we need are more superhero movies at any cost. Dude, eventually these things have to fucking die. Western? I've been saying it for

a decade and it hasn't happened yet. I would so much prefer a return to Westerns. That would be great. People eventually have to get sick of this same shit. Rinse and repeat. I haven't even watched the last superhero movie I saw was

Guardians of the Galaxy. And the last one I saw before that, I think, was the Avengers 1. And if you give me the name of any superhero movie, I will tell you how it ends. Guardians of the Galaxy 2. Because they all end the same way. Does it end with a song and dance? No.

It ends with a funeral. It ends with a song and dance as the credits are going and the fucking trees dancing and they're all doing that, right? No, that's Guardians 1. Guardians 2 ends with a funeral. No, I'm saying this one probably does too. I bet you're forgetting. You know what?

I feel like Kyle might be forgetting. I think it does the very very last scene is uh is that henchman of the trying to use the the mentally powered like spear thing and he stabs uh john c um the the big the big guy he stabs that guy and then he just runs because he doesn't want to get beaten to death or whatever i feel like that's the very i really liked guardians of the Galaxy. I thought that was a good movie. I'll see the second one at some point. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is better.

Well, then I'll try it. I thought the first one was just a good, fun-loving... I thought the first one was good, but I kind of did the Bill Burr thing where I like Chris Pratt so much, I gave it points just because I like Chris Pratt. And the second one, I feel like you could not like Chris Pratt and still really think it points just because I like Chris Pratt and the second one I feel like it's you could not like Chris Patton still really think it was a good movie I just like I'm so lost in the superhero universe now that

like the other one all the movies that they're making about like superheroes now I don't even know who these superheroes are like I saw a poster of all of like the Marvel superheroes they have and I want to go through it probably on PKA like Kyle did with the NHL logos and saying the teams because I don't know any of these people. Like I see all right that's the Hulk there's some green bitch that guy's got sunglasses on. I certainly know Iron Man and the Hulk and Captain America but you know, whatever. Curiously, long fingers, I don't know that person at all.

Yeah, I don't know who he is. He seems dead, though. What's his name? The guy with the bulletproof skin who's on Netflix? Nick Cage. No, Nick Cage is an actor. Iron Fist. Luke Cage.

Yeah, I scroll past Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and I genuinely will Google it sometimes because I'm like, they're just fucking making them up. Would that be better, though? It would be better, but you check and it's like, oh my god, they're into the D-list superheroes. If the world were comprised of superheroes,

these guys would be relegated to the DMV and parking attendance. They're not that impressive. I like it when new superheroes are created. I'm not supposed to know all the lore, right? When it's like, oh, you don't know what you're talking about. You're not familiar with Thanos' backstory? No, I'm not.

I can't help you there. I don't even know who that is. No, I'm not. I can't help you there. I don't even know who that is. Yeah. I can't stack rank who's the most powerful. That's not something I'm very good at. It's difficult sometimes.

Even within fantasy and fiction, there are rules. And I only get upset when those rules are broken or ignored. I don't like people who can't have a conversation about who's stronger in uh in in uh lord of the rings or who's faster or who's better with a bow or who lives longer like ah it's all made up it's like yeah but he made up rules which we have to follow and even if they're made up rules there's still rules and you know, there are rules like that

for Marvel characters and DC characters too. You can go online to their websites. And like I said before, you know, they've done the math, literally, in some cases. Sometimes it changes though, right? It's like, you know, in the 1940s, Captain America was strong enough to lift a car. Totally.

But there was this one time he was called upon to be strong enough to lift a plane. So apparently he can do that. And it's like, man, he's been struggling with cars for 30 years, and then suddenly he can lift jets? It seems like he should be one-handed throwing cars. Yeah, now that's true too.

There are different iterations of the superheroes. They'll reinvent them every generation. But we've got to focus on the generation that are the Marvel movies, because that's what we have to work with in most of the cases. I like your rule set. I like that.

You can't go back to 1930 Superman because he couldn't fly. He just jumped. I say that because the websites sometimes do that. When they calculate Superman's strength, they look at every feat of strength he's ever done until it goes all the way back to some time where he changed Earth's orbit. And now he's got some immeasurable strength. Which doesn't make sense. Oh, my God. Don't you people understand basic physics?

Like if Superman tries to lift an island, then it's just like driving a Superman-sized spear through that island. He just goes through it. The island's weight pushes it over him. Like he just goes through the island. He just goes through it. The island's weight pushes it over him. Like, he just goes through the island. I get it. He can't get his hands on enough surface area. In the same regard, he can't move a planet. And making the Earth spin backwards

does not fucking change time. It just kills everything on Earth. Have you tried it? It just kills everything on Earth. You can't know that for sure. You absolutely can't. I don't buy it. We should just be that dumb all the time.

It can't possibly be true. Yeah, it would just be this, oh, people would walk backwards. That's what would happen. No! No! None of this works! That's how the Superman universe should have ended, is he comes back down to Earth after doing that,

and it's just gore and people wrapped around street signs and just a pulpy mess everywhere. And has he, like, stops off in every... Yeah, the oceans are now... The entire, you know, each continent has been flooded, you know, and there's sharks, you know, laying in the middle of Kansas. You know, the whole... The Earth's spinning 1,000 miles per hour, so the oceans are, we the middle of Kansas. You know, the Earth's spinning 1,000 miles per hour, so the oceans are. We all

are. So if you start spinning the Earth backwards, then the oceans are going to keep moving because they're a fluid and just wash around the whole globe, right, with an incredibly powerful tsunami that uses the entire volume of the Earth's oceans, you know. It just doesn't work like that super... And that's not even how time works.

That's not even how time works. That's not even how time works. That's not even how time works. Well, it's still... It's only 20 minutes after I started, actually, but everyone is dead. Yeah, it's time to go find a new home. If he'd flown into the sun so fast and hard that it created a black hole and that allowed

him to travel back in time, like, I'd have bought it. Still stupid. Still stupid. But you can't just spin the bought it still stupid it's still stupid but but you can't just spin the fucking planet backwards like it's an enormous clock like like jesus christ yeah that is that's pretty 1950s that was 1980s that was disgusting when they made that okay yeah it's it's awful that's the movie that's like superman 3 or something superman yeah we were yeah that some of the movies are okay some of those movies are good and worth watching and but the superman movies

in my opinion like uh-uh none of those old superman movies with uh christopher reeve are worth watching i the way i feel about dc movies is kind of the way that like an nvidia person feels about amd i want them to be great just so that the competition drives great movies. If DC continues to put out clunkers, then Marvel can just make any crap. I want there to be a great rivalry. We've all seen how that works in competition.

It helps. Pathetic. Pathetic, those people over there. I saw Mark Hamill on a... Wonder Woman. Yeah, Wonder Woman's good. They made one good movie. I like Batman versus Superman more than most.

Probably like 30 good movies so far. I think I'm rooting for DC just as an underdog, because sometimes it's fun to root for the underdog, but it's hard to deny the score. You know, the score is posted. It's 30 to one so far,

you know? So good luck with that. Come back. You cunts. No, Mark Hamill was talking about the new star Wars movies and how he hates them. Like, like,

like, like, he's just like the ones he's in. He's like, ah, that was so ridiculous. He's like, I'm in the last 30 seconds. He's in, he's like, oh, that was so ridiculous. He's like, I'm in the last 30 seconds?

He's like, it should have been that I felt the force that Harrison was in trouble, and I rushed to that planet, and then just as I was getting there, cutting through the enemies, I couldn't save him as he falls off the bridge. And then you'd have me and Leia there, and we'd have seen that happening right in front of our eyes, and that would have gotten me into crazy mode, and then boom, into the next film, and that's our cliffhanger. He's like, or that lightsaber battle they have in the woods where the lightsaber starts vibrating and then flies through the air and Rey catches it. It should have been me catching it.

I should have caught it and come slashing in. And I'm like, yeah, both of those are much better, much better and and he's talking about the next movie the one that it has wrapped now and he's like it's not gonna recapture whatever you guys had as kids all right these are just movies all right just making movies and uh you know i i go to the creators and i tell them what i'd like to do and what i think my character should do i ask him what my backstory They don't know. They don't know what I should be thinking or what I've been up to during this time. He's like, just go in there. We're thinking about it that way. This is just a movie, alright?

Like, he's really, like, laying it on. He's not so... That's what happened in the last movie. The eighth one. I don't even know what it was. But the one, the last one Mark Hamill was in. Yeah. Would it be the fifth one? I'm sure you're right.

So, no, it wouldn't. You're cut off on my screen. You can see both hands, right? Oh. All right. Okay. It was the seventh one. Thank you.

Anyway, so that movie, like, Star Wars is a cultural icon. Star Wars, like, I guess the line is not, Luke, I am your father, but everyone thinks it is. But, like, that scene is embedded in everybody's memory. And, like, the whole notion of the Jedi and, like, everyone, it's a big part of American culture, maybe even global culture. And then that movie came out and everybody is like, I mean, it was good, right? But it just wasn't, like, didn't change our world. After I saw that movie, I was the same person I was before I saw it. And maybe he's just trying to remind us that it's just a movie. I don't know.

Yeah. They're fucking up. They're fucking up, man. they're fucking up they're fucking up man like like i just i i i wish that i wish that they would listen to some of the good ideas that people like mark hamill have like like it's just you even said it he's like he's like you don't have to be have a good movie in hollywood it just has to make a lot of money he's like look at the transformers movies and he said that on stage this massive crowd of people and he goes and i just, this massive crowd of people, and he goes, and I just realized this is being recorded, I shouldn't have been that specific, I've only seen the trailers, I've only seen the

trailers, but you get my point, right, like, and I'm like, yeah, absolutely, like, this thing should have, you gotta serve the nerds, you gotta serve the people who are into, like, like, that crazy backstory, that, that, the people who have read all of the comics and the fan fiction, and they have all these theories. You've got to play to those people. You can't just make a flashy Transformers movie with lightsabers for every 18-year-old fucking snowflake generation person that wants to go see these things.

They'll still go. It's going to be a cultural moment, especially if you serve the people from the 70s and 80s sometimes you or even sometimes me will be like hey you know what here's a better way they could have done that and it is better it's a lot better and yeah yeah what they did with luke was lame in that movie and in my head it's like all, you can do that with Luke, but you better fucking make him the baddest motherfucker of all time next movie. He better have some Ewan McGregor moves, fucking spinning and backflips and fucking cutting 30 men apart.

He better crush some people with some force skills. He better have some force lightning. None of that shit will happen. You watch. He'll be a diminished version. He'll be old man. He'll be Ben Kenobi, just walking around with a weak voice. Calm down, Ray. Calm

down. You must be patient. Do you remember the first time Yoda got in a sword fight? Yeah. Oh my God! His reputation as an amazing lightsaber person became earned all of a sudden he's like a 1970s kung fu fighter where flips are a big part of fighting for some reason and you know and all the like he just so badass i want to see that adamar camel he looked like one of those fireworks

you light that spins around and around shooting different colors out. It takes off. He was like that although he still got his ass... He could do like a double jumping like in Super Smash Brothers where he'd jump up and be on this side of someone in the air and then just jump from there back again. Where he could like, hoop, hoop, like

Mario. Yeah. Mark Hamill should be OP as fuck and then he should have to give his life to save ray and then move along like halfway three quarters of the way through the movie maybe at the end of the movie whatever but he should be op as fuck that like that would be good but i think i might want two more camel movies before we do it maybe that's just me that person didn't count yeah i agree yeah i agree I agree. I think they're going to fucking ruin it. It's going to be terrible.

Star Wars sucks. It's on a Star Trek now, though, so what are you going to do? It's all about Orville. Maybe. I need to watch that. I haven't seen it, but yeah. Alright, wrap? Yeah. PKN episode 162.