Painkiller Already - PKN #165

Episode Date: October 27, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

That is at the start of the show now. PKN episode 165. The recording is not moving. I'm looking at it. I just look terrible on video. There we go. All right. Anyway, PKN 165.

That's the start. We were right in the middle of our big Harvey Weinstein discussion. And, of course, our starting of the hashtag, you know, GoFundMeHarveyDefenseFund or whatever. We're going to come up with a better hashtag than that, guys. We're talking about the worst thing you could do right now, and imagine somebody coming out and being like, you know what? It's not all bad.

This guy would get crucified from all sides quicker. Like Woody Allen. Hashtag I would. Hashtag I would, right? I hit it. would get crucified from all sides quicker than like woody allen hashtag hashtag i would right hashtag i would right and and it's like yeah i'd hit it right if i was a hollywood producer who couldn't get laid any other way hashtag i would you know dude how much of a when you really break it down like that how much of an impotent fucking loser are you that if you're worth hundreds of millions of dollars you need to do shit like this to get laid like all of all everyone worth hundreds of millions

of dollars has sacrificed their youth and their like fitness in exchange for money and now they're trying to cash in he mostly it seems like harvey sacrificed mostly his fitness though right like mostly fitness on on his part youth and fitness that's, right? Say that again? Mostly fitness on his part. Youth and fitness, that's the price that most people... I will say there is exceptions. Elon Musk looks really good. That Amazon guy somehow looks better. Jeff Bezos, like...

That's more because he looked horrible in the late 90s. He went from like a bookworm to a fucking bodyguard or something. I don't know how that happened. But money bought that. He paid for that look. He got some sort of hair rejuvenation thing. I don't know if it's implant. And there was a personal trainer involved.

Oh, yeah. Nutritionist, chef. But I want to say most people, by the time they get really rich, But I want to say most people, by the time they get really rich, they're more in the Sterling, Trump, Warren Buffett, like class of attractiveness. That's true, but if you're a billionaire or a hundred millionaire and famous, like there are lots of women out there that are going to be interested in you because of that. And so just the fact that he had to be such a sneaky weasel with all of this to get any action it's like and you can tell from that uh um that audio tape that we were talking about last week where he's being all creepy and and just like not just a weaselly little fruit cake i think his true crime was aiming too high right There are women out there that would have fucked him, but he had to go for Leona Headley.

I'm sure I messed up her name. Leona doesn't give Headley to Harvey Weinstein. He, he had to go for like, I don't know. I heard Jennifer Lawrence wasn't actually him, but you know, he had to go for a class of women that,

that wasn't a whore. That's, that's the, that's the crime that these billionaires are making. They're trying to take women who aren't whores and treat them like whores, and then, shockingly, they don't like it. That's where this goes wrong.

Yeah, I mean, it goes wrong in a lot of other ways. I'll try to simplify this. It's so weak and weaselly, the way that he is. he is like on that phone call he was speaking the way a man who doesn't know how to pick up women speaks who doesn't know how to make women comfortable speaks like i know you both got to read for that as well like like when he started talking it was like is this really this guy who's around celebrities all the time he's worth 400 million dollars or whatever like this is the guy what a little fruit he sounds what's nibbling yeah nibbling like a weepy little hand wringing you know and of course he was known

for all of his uh you know feminist movies and roles and things like that like i stand by this so hard all of these hardcore men who are feminists they're doing it because they feel like they're covering up for something and most women see through that bullshit which is why even women who are like are self described as feminists you look at their boyfriends and they're not those little weasels they're more masculine guys for the most part like you think they're covering up for you think that guys who are feminists are actually not feminists at all not all of them you know there's some who are just i think misguided and they think but uh but but a lot of them are predators

and they they can't come like if they were in a bar with kyle and kyle and this and that guy were gonna go try and hit on the same girl he would look at kyle and go fuck i can't compete in this traditional masculine space i'm not confident enough to walk over and just start shooting the shit and being funny and you know talking about my more masculine hobbies and interests. So I have to try and sneak under the wire and crawl under and emerge on the other side like, oh, I'm just an ally. I'm on your side, you know. I would respect what you have to say and of course her first things are like, oh really? Because I'm not retarded. You're a man and you want to fuck me. And this is your avenue?

It's a backdoor towards starting to get to know them, right? But it's a disingenuous backdoor towards getting next to them. And then, you know, he feels like he's already on step two with regards to establishing a relationship because they have this in common. I line up with that. And of course, it's not everybody. everybody you know there's some people who disagree but but yeah it's it's a back doorway to to get things started and yeah it's disingenuous the comparison there with the pastors who are so against gay marriage who end up being gay it's just the perfect point of comparison

see now that is an implication that these men's right guys... I don't know that they're necessarily rapists or pedophiles or something. I just don't think the analogy is right. Okay, so there's two groups. We've got the priests who fuck children or blow them or

whatever they do. Yeah, all kinds of awful things. And then you've got the men's rights guys who are just using that as like a sneaky icebreaker and i don't know you mean the feminist guys yeah yeah i'm sorry i'm saying allies yeah yeah i didn't mean to say that those are definitely two different groups the allies are just like are sneaky like uh they're like the beta chimps who look look enough like a female chimp to sneak in there with the female chimps and then next thing and the male champs like oh oh okay okay i mean he

looks away and the next thing you know the beta chimps fucking all the female chimps behind his back like there's that guy and he's a whole separate animal that we also don't like but then there's the the people who are always casting stones at what they supposedly hate or look down upon or say is evil and wrong, when in fact that thing that they supposedly hate or think is evil is a core part of themselves. And they're going, you know, me thinks that style of protest too much, you know. Right. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same. Like, I think this happens with a lot of different behaviors in people.

People who are the most all about racism. Everything comes down to race. It's because those people see race in everything. When they see a murder somewhere, it doesn't even register to them unless the races are the correct mix. Oh, a white guy murdered a black kid. Okay, that's on my radar. You know, a black guy murdered a white kid. It doesn't matter.

I don't even factor it in because I can't filter that through the lens of race that I'm accustomed to. Sometimes I do that, but only to find out if people's bad. Yeah, and I think it's because those people are racists. Like they can't help but see race in everything, and so they put that into other people's minds and go Like, they can't help but see race in everything, and so they put that into other people's minds and go,

everybody else can't help but see race in everything either. Like, they're doing the same thing as me. I need to speak up about it. Like, I don't know, so much of these, like, hardcore people, like, and of course this is only, this is like the top 10% of all of these groups or whatever, I made that up, like the really adamant ones. Like, it seems like they are at least subconsciously trying to cover up for something, especially the feminist and the gay thing.

If I hear a nine-year-old black boy was shot and all he had was a paintball gun, and then it's like, oh, thank God the cop was black too. This won't be a story. It's all okay. I think, did he steal the paintball gun? He did, didn't he? That's your first thought? Well, how expensive of a paintball gun was it?

That's an electronic marker. What was he even doing with it? No, I was talking about race politics and the way the left wants to put everybody in their own little boxes and how the left is the truly racist, much more racist than the right. With my gravel guy yesterday, I was getting gravel put in the driveway. to put everybody in their own little boxes and how the left is the truly racist, much more racist than the right.

With my gravel guy yesterday, I was getting gravel put in the driveway. And, you know, he's just a good old boy driving a rock truck and operating equipment. And he's like, I'm a libertarian. He's like, I'm not racist against anyone. But it seems like every time I turn the news on that everybody thinks I'm a racist or thinks that people like me are racist. He's like, I went to school with black people. I like black people. I went to school with black people I like black people I went to school with Asian people I like Asian people I treat everybody the same but I don't get treated the same he started talking about all his

women's troubles I sat outside yesterday for like three fucking hours talking to this gravel guy listen to listen to his sob stories he's like ah my wife left me then my then my truck burnt down not sure racist yeah right then my truck burnt down then Sounds like a racist. Yeah, right? Then my truck burnt down. Then somebody broke into my house. He's like, I'm not sure it wasn't all my wife behind the truck burning down and the break-in in my house. Might have been her. He's like, I get on plenty of fish and don't have any luck there. And I have to go all the way to Athens to find a woman. And then if I strike out, I got to get a hotel room just to sleep in alone cuz I'm drunk and just like you know what a lot of these problems seem like you're making them for yourself yeah that's a little self-imposed at

this point yes you know you're gonna be drinking if you go out I mean most most men are you know if you're gonna offer a woman a drink it'd be weird if you if you buy a woman a drink and sit down and talk to her and she's like well what are you drinking a water water yeah no no I can't drink that shit. There's roofie in it. Don't ask me how I know. Enjoy your scotch. I'm just going to sip it all night. No, I do not want to try a sip. Thank you for offering.

One of us has got a dry phone. Want me to drink from that? What if we're both roofied? Yeah, but I saw today that someone was accusing Weinstein's brother Bob, or whatever his brother's name is, of also some sort of sexual harassment. And then, you know, lots of clips are popping up now of people accusing Weinstein over the years. I saw the Corey Feldman clips keep coming out, because he's been talking for years about being molested.

He has. And I love that clip where Barbara Walters is like, like you realize you're you're you're uh injuring an entire industry right and it's just like what the fuck are you saying barbara he's talking to you about being molested by hollywood producers who fucking cares about the industry you cunt it's so fucked about it is that these were all open secrets apparently cosby was an open secret uh polanski open secret, and then it became not a secret, you know, and then he got a standing ovation from all those same Hollywood people just a couple years after that. Yeah, do you know what Polanski did? Do you know exactly what he did? He was at

Jack Nicholson's house at a party. Nicholson was not there, and he got a 13-year-old drunk on champagne, gave her quaaludes, and then raped her anally, vaginally, and orally in a hot tub. And then he fled to Europe and won an Oscar. And Harrison Ford presents him with his Oscar, and the entire room stands up and gives him the standing

ovation. It's like it wasn't just a oh, there were some bad seeds hiding out there. It's like, no, this was not even tacitly approved it was actually approved you're giving this guy an oscar like everybody's clapping you know all those same people now who are saying oh what a piece of shit it's like where were you then like you knew right then that he was doing this to other young girls yeah like for sure you don't just you don't just slip up and oh she was 13 but she looked 50 like what like no no there's no there's no and then uh

woody allen not as bad as polanski but still a fucking creep yeah i don't defend him he uh hearing more about woody allen though like like my thought was that it was just the thing with his adopted daughter that he that and he waited till she was of age. And that seemed creepy, I admit, but legal, right? And that's kind of where I draw the line. Like, it's legal. You know, he didn't force her to do anything. Clearly she was into it or she wouldn't have married him. I'm pretty sure she married him.

But I think there's a lot more than just that. It seems like he's been after young girls. Apparently, I saw something today about the Woody Allen thing that one of their maids or something testified that, I might be getting some of the details, I'll have to look maids or something testified that, uh, I might be getting some of the details. I'll have to look it up, but testified that when the girl,

that his daughter, his stepdaughter, that he ended up marrying was like seven, he would get into bed with her in just his underwear. Or like she would just be in her underwear in there and just being alone in bed. And it's like, that's not, that's not cool.

That's not appropriate. That's, that's not, I, I, you know, it, it, no, no excuse. There's nothing, there's nothing there. That's not appropriate. You know, it... Dude, no. No excuse.

There's nothing. There's nothing there. What kind of underwear? I gotta see these underwear. Like, what if it's like some long johns? No. No? No?

What if it's a onesie with like footies and everything? We know that's not the case. I guess not. That's a good answer. With those like little grippy pads so he doesn't slip yeah i've got some of those yeah do you yeah they're great i've got i got i got three different pair of those onesies i got one that looks like deadpool so uh it's got the the hood you throw up and you're deadpool um i've got one that's like a big giant teddy bear it's it's pretty creepy i i'm a big fan of the the onesies

we've got the rubber butt rubber on the on the soles and everything uh yeah oh yeah i got lots of costumes lots of sexy costumes like that yeah yeah for good yeah but yeah that's a i really hope this continues to snowball and that that people actually start naming names. Because as of now, like everybody going like, oh, you know, this happened to me and some producer used to do it. You know, he's still out there. It's like, well, if he's still out there, like I know legally that might be risky for you to start naming names and accusing people. But if they actually did this, like, and they're still doing it to young kids out there, like you kind of have an obligation to bring that up and accusing people. But if they actually did this, and they're still doing it to young kids out there, you kind of have an obligation to bring that up and name names.

Because otherwise, we're all just kind of agreeing over something that is never ever actually going to change. I saw Oliver Stone get called out for booby honking. Oliver Stone got called out. Yeah, some model said that Stone walked up to her at the restaurant and went, honk, honk, and honked her titty. And she was like, whoa. And he just kind of grinned like, whoops.

You know, I'm just honking titties. Not to normal. Oh, go ahead. There's an ER actress who said that the producer or the director on that show, I don't remember which, was a pussy grabber. And also made racist remarks to her because she's Mexican. And that he and George Clooney worked together to cover up the allegations and then got her blacklisted. George Clooney worked with him to cover it up? Yeah, yeah.

Because he was the star of ER at the time, you know, back in the day. I wonder if this happens in other industries too. Like, not to normalize it, but, like, I wonder if you went to Wall Street, another place. It's kind of a smaller community of people who are really, really wealthy. Like, do they mistreat women all the time i don't know too many other industries that are like in politics right are there are political leaders often using their power to get laid in in a in a nasty way i'm sure some of them are maybe not as endemic as hollywood because it doesn't make sense that it would be so part of hollywood's culture because like they've made jokes about this in the past

like they make jokes about oh yeah you don't have to like harvey fire harvey firestein harvey weinstein you know you have to like him oh you don't have to you know shirley temple apparently got exposed to when she was a girl like and so it's been a long time coming and i do think that hollywood like with these big production companies like Weinstein Inc. or whatever, there's a fewer number of big-time gatekeepers. And so they can make or break you. I think that's the big thing

is just the fewer number of gates that you can get through to get into the industry. Because at the end of the day, so many actors aren't even good. that also have a small number of gatekeepers. That would promote this bad environment, right? You know, where, like, oh, we can't mess with these 12 people because they run this big show.

And if that's the case, then those 12 people get to start acting like the law doesn't apply to them. Yeah. But you've also got to have a pool of applicants who are, you know, attractive and women. It's the perfect storm for an evil sexual predator i think hollywood seems to be it's so so exclusive it's such a you know a good old boys club that i don't know i don't know how else to put it you know there's just a handful of people with all the power i hope george lucas is the next to come out

you want him to be the issue yeah i want I want George Lucas to be a dirty old fuck. He does seem like, much like Harvey Weinstein, I don't think he gets laid on his own merits. You know? I think that he would have to have to bend the rules a little bit. Yeah.

With his stupid children's movies. Fucking asshole. I hope nothing comes out about Spielberg. I love Spielberg. Man, I just watched this documentary on HBO about Spielberg. He did rape Indiana Jones, but that's figurative

rape, not literal rape, unlike the way South Park showed us. That was pretty horrible to watch actual Indiana Jones get buck-fucked by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Hilarious. Am I missing something on that? Did he ruin Indiana Jones? Why are theyucked by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. But hilarious. Am I missing something on that?

Did he ruin Indiana Jones? Why are they saying he ruined that? He did, yeah. Crystal Skull. Who started with it? He did, but then he made Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and you've got Shia LaBeouf

as Indiana Jones' son. You've got things like the vine swinging, the giant ants, the aliens. It was a real travesty of a film. But he also started it, right? He made the first one, which everyone agrees was good. And the second one I thought was pretty good, too. I rewatched it. It holds up.

The third one I didn't like with the kid in it. Yeah, yeah, the Temple of Doom. That's the one where they get out of the plane on the raft, him, the woman, and the little kid. I don't care for that one so much. I really like The Last Crusade. The one that's got Sean Connery in it. They're dealing with the Nazis.

That was pretty good. That's really fucking good. I enjoy that one a lot. I was just reading that those Nazi uniforms were actual Nazi uniforms that had been found in Eastern Europe somewhere and not costumes. So I like that movie a lot. But the whole documentary on Spielberg was really cool.

I really hope he's not a fucking dirty old molester slash rapist kind of guy. Who, if it came out that they were one of these big-time creeps, would it impact you the most? Who do you not suspect? Tom Hanks. Oh, that's it. I would be very most? Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Oh, that's it. Yep, I would be very surprised by Tom Hanks. Yeah, if Forrest Gump raped Jenny so that she could get that part or something. If you want a part in the next one, you're going to have to touch my pecker.

You know what I'm saying? If he was fingering the inflation hole on Wilson so that Wilson could get that part. I wouldn't mind that because it's a ball but yeah that would be surprising uh denzel oh i would i would be shocked if something came out about him because he just i don't know anything about these celebrities but you know how you have ones where you're like he seems like a good guy like for all i know tom hanks and denzel are like both assholes when you meet, but they don't seem like it. What did Woody Harrelson get accused of in that AMA?

Do you guys remember? Oh, I didn't. I'm not familiar with that. So Woody Harrelson did an AMA on Reddit, Ask Me Anything for those unfamiliar. And the top-rated question was something like, hey, my good friend in high school really, really liked you and thought you were great

and you guys met at a party you took her up you took her virginity then you never called her never talked to her again and and you know she like if i remember right that was like basically the top thing and his replies were like i just want to talk about rampart and he and there are all these like questions about the shit he did or you know things he didn't really want to talk about he just wanted to talk about the movie which of course like no one gave a fuck about rampart i still i've never seen rampart i couldn't know what it was about not yet in my head it's a dinosaur movie i really doubt that's accurate but rampart just sounds dinosaur to me i don't know and uh a cop movie but none of the questions were aboutampart. He just kept saying, let's get back on topic.

And it's known as the worst AMA to have ever been done. I haven't heard about that. I read through Elon Musk's AMA the other day, and it was a little over my head. Yeah, I saw that too. It was not for the layman. He was really giving you some technical jargon in there talking about those goddamn rockets and uh it was uh uh it was interesting i guess because there were like i guess it was broken down for the layman you know

in a paragraph below his answers let someone would translate for the rest of us so some of it sure this is this is the woody harrelson thing i googled it real i swear this is a true story now there's a whole bunch of allegedly edited in afterwards but i'll just read it i swear this is a true story i went to high school in la and you crashed our prom after party you ended up taking the virginity of a girl named rosanne you didn't call her afterwards she cried a lot do you remember any of? And can you confirm you've been so knee deep in Hollywood pootie for so long that this qualifies as a mere blip? I'm not kidding.

And it became the top rated thing. It's got 4,000 upvotes. And he basically just kept saying, I want to talk about Rampart. You know, it's. Yeah. I mean, like, that's a really awkward position to put him in. Yeah. Was he on tears or was this

last year i i don't know i wonder how old he was but the i forgot that he crashed an after prom party which to me is a real according to this reddit commenter uh good point which i don't take 98 of things on red Reddit to be true. Yeah, man, it depends on the year. Like, if he did this last year, it's like, ooh, Woody Harrelson's a dirty old man. You know, because he's like 55, 60 or something, I'm guessing. 50 to 60. But if he did it during his Cheers years, you know, maybe we let that go.

He was a very young guy himself. And, like, jeez, like, you took her virginity and didn't call her. years you know maybe we let that go he was a very young guy himself and like geez like like you took her virginity and didn't call her like like i mean it's not like he's a predator or something it's like sounds like a girl slept with him and then he just didn't call her back the weird thing is that she's a pretty serious girl not known as a partier and had a lot of girls after her she was shy and she's quiet which is afterwards i was like what the fuck her uh that that's about all it says oh i know we just met teehee but i'm i'm very shy but like yeah i remember this is gonna date myself here there was a girl in my high school who was on a party scale one to ten she was like a six you know she wasn't

an angel or anything but she wasn't like school slut like really far from it and uh she was looking at vanilla ice who for a moment was like the it guy and actually it objectively moment yeah objectively he was a really handsome guy and of course he was the most popular guy in the world he was the justin bieber for a year and she's like oh my god i would totally fuck him like if he were to bring me to backstage like i would i would definitely fuck him and uh i was like what like i mean not seriously though right she's like no seriously i wouldilla Ice. Did you immediately think about putting those stripes in your hair? Cut my eyebrows.

Stop, collaborate, and listen. Oh, I wish I had said that. That would have been the funniest thing. All right, stop, stop, stop. Collaborate. Let me get on Facebook real quick. It shocked me that you would just... And maybe this isn't as big a deal today, right?

If I understand the Tinder generation correctly, Chiz says it's like ordering on Amazon. You just pick them up and then eventually one comes and that blows me away. This was a period where it took months to get anyone to trust you at that level and establish a relationship with that kind of intimacy and such, then she would just fuck Vanilla Ice

because he's Vanilla Ice. Goodness. The reason I don't buy that guy's Reddit comment as being true is because he's writing it in a very emotionally charged way. We're intentionally using staccato sentences to try and leave details out and imply things. Like, you took her virginity. You didn't call her afterward. It's like the implication there is that there was an advantage taken of someone. And there's no possibility that it was like what Woody's saying where she's like, oh, I get to fuck Woody Harrelson or I get to fuck Vanilla Ice.

Like, yeah. Yeah, I'm down for that for sure. She was a virgin. So I think that possibility is more remote. How does this guy know? And she was a virgin so i think that possibility is more remote maybe and she was a pretty serious dude for him to know that i don't know like this guy cried a lot how would he know yeah it sounds like this guy wanted to get with the girl and woody harrelson slid on in there and made it happen it seems like a whole bowl of sour grapes he's like he's like hey ladies you ever see cheers yeah but you're right it does

depend on what you're doing it across school probably party it's what year was it you don't have to ask because this didn't happen that's funny because I I mean I don't want to I certainly wouldn't I could victim but I bet it happened I mean you're right it could have happened I don't know it depends on the year that I did

I'm picturing a house party I bet we all are picturing a house party yeah with like in my head there's like the Christmas lights on poles in the backyard and an above ground pool I've really got this figured out sounds like quite trash for that above ground pool you know but like but like who knows what the scenario was maybe maybe they were like at a above ground. Wow. Well, it sounds like quite trash for that above ground pool. You know, they are what they are. But, like, who knows what the scenario was. Maybe they were, like, at a nightclub of some kind, and

Woody happens to... It just seems really weird that celebrity actor Woody Harrelson is going to a prom house party. Like, how does he even get invited to that? How does he know what's going on? Doesn't he have other shit happening? You know, it's just... If Woody Harrelson slid into a party that i was at at 17 or 18 it'd be like what

the fuck is woody harrelson is that is that woody harrelson he's trying to get laid in a place where there's a huge power imbalance i ever you know what i just think i i? That was my after prom party, I think. I don't know if there was an aggrovebound pool, but there were Christmas lights that kind of illuminated the backyard. And a lot of people stayed in tents. And I look back and I'm like,

how did my girlfriend's parents not know we were fucking? They must have been like, all right, I guess get laid. Knock yourself out. Oh, you're gonna uh go to an after prom party and then for safety so no one drinks and drives you go ahead and stay there in a tent with your boyfriend like you thought you were being so sneaky at the time back in the day like i

remember like my high school girlfriend we would like i'd go to her house after school and her parents would be home downstairs right under her bedroom and it'd be like oh you know taylor's gonna stay for dinner and then we'd go upstairs and lock the door to her room for like four hours and then come down for dinner and you know just pretend like obviously what your hair's like Morty in that episode where he's got the sex bot. You just down an entire thing. Or like there were things that they clearly knew. Like they'd hear the shower going upstairs, and then we'd both come down all wet for dinner or something. Obviously, we dried off mostly, but you can tell.

Shower sex is terrible. Water is not legal. Well, no, I'm talking about showering after the sex because you're right. Shower sex is slippery and dangerous. And I find it distracting. I don't know. Water's a horrible lubricant. Yeah, water's a horrible lubricant. You know what? Shower sex is just the beginning of sex.

The finish is taken elsewhere. It's like fucking on top of the counter. I was in a hotel room with a girl and I had these big glow sticks, like as long as your arm. Wow. Yeah, I went to this thing called the... How thick around? Like a wrist?

No, no, like about... Survival glow sticks. Like twice as big around as your finger, I guess. Okay. Like a baton almost, but thinner. And I had gotten them at this SWAT roundup. They had like... There was a glow stick man there, and these were tactical glow sticks.

He had, I don't know, an inch long and really thin to, like, these big daddies. And so we got in the shower in the dark, and I was fucking her with the glow sticks and stuff, having a good old time. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that sounds uncomfortable. Oh, no, it was awesome.

That was, like, octagon-shaped? No, no, no, no. These, that sounds uncomfortable. Oh, no, it was awesome. It was like octagon shaped. Like, you know what I mean? These were rounded and smooth. They were prime for fucking. There was no cap on it? Because the glow sticks I know, the end is not prime for fucking. Correct.

Yeah, I know the ones you're talking about. It's the kind that have like a hole in the top to be dangled from a tassel. And then the bottom is sort of sharp and like. Yeah, I think there's a cap on it. I'm not positive, but yeah. Yeah, it's rough and kind of jagged because it's like mass-produced But these were not like that. They were like smooth and baton like they you know a bit like a skinny dildo I trust your judgment. I'm sure you wouldn't fuck people with the wrong stuff. No no no I was talking to her that like just the other day. She texted me

She was like she's like I was I was somewhere and I saw a bunch of glow sticks and had a flashback So were you doing it in the dark of course it would be fun otherwise yeah dark shower with glow sticks like just you know going and just having a good old time so that that was fun shower set i still throw out there i'm not sure the shower added to that scenario that might have been just as good in a in a not just a kingsized bed, but like an abnormally large round bed. Yeah. Well, they were eight-hour glow sticks. That spins. Yeah, take it.

I'm getting really specific with my descriptions today. I did a thing today. I went and got first aid and CPR certified. Ah. Yeah. Did they tell you how often CPR works works oh i've known this is not my first time doing it maybe recertified is a better way to say but uh yeah so two months ago not very much 12 yeah i would have said 10 12 most of the time they die uh your odds are better

if it's a like a healthy person that needs it. But a lot of, you know, whatever, someone who's 68 years old has a heart attack on the beach and you're giving them CPR, your odds are bad. If it's 12 years old and they got shocked or drowned, then your odds are better. Back on topic. Yeah, two months ago, I broke my leg and the instructor whipped out an EM kit and put a a soft splint on it and wrapped it up and i was like you know like it would be good to have a guy like that in my circle too you know because people are gonna break a wrist or a leg or something every now and then it's ridiculous sport so now i'm that guy yeah that's cool yeah that's good and hey if there's ever a survival type situation where we've got to eat somebody,

quickly be like, hey, hey, hey! I'm the certified guy here. Not only am I necessary, but I have a scalpel. So whenever you figure out who we're going to eat, I'll divvy up the pieces. That's the reason to keep you around in a cabin boy type situation where somebody's got to be eaten.

I would be quick to figure out out who was going to be like like if we're and like ah now we didn't get the beacon away like nobody's going to even know our boats got overdue for three days and then we're in 120 000 square miles of uncharted ocean you know on this cruise line if it's gone down, whatever the scenario, it's like, I would know right away somebody's got to go. And I'll be honest, I have no problem eating another person. Like if I was at a buffet and there was a little like, you know, human meat next to the crab legs, I'm not saying I'd fill my plate up, but I'd get a couple pieces.

I'd be curious. To me, it's not a lot different than if I learned there was a little tiger on the buffet. It'd be like, you know, I've never had tiger, and I'm really curious now. It's already there. I'd eat the tiger, but eating human meat is a good way to get that mad cow disease.

Oh, it's not raw, Taylor. Well, no, even then. It's very, very bad for you to eat members of your own species that's why when you find like tribes in africa that do a lot of cannibalism it's like uh not a lot of bright bulbs in this bunch are you sure it's bad for you to eat your own species or are you just buying into anti-cannibalism propaganda no i'm 100 positive that it's bad for you. Or actually, no, I'm 100% positive it's not bad for you. A few morsels would be fine, though, right? We're not going to make our

diet up of human meat or anything. I'm saying it's there on the buffet or we're in the... Everybody else is going to be like crying, teary-eyed. Like, that was Bob! I just... the cannibals that taylor brings up it seems like they might not have prepared the human properly you know

if you cook meat it's not bad for you right they're also not uh eating it like a couple morsels at a at a horrible harvey weinstein buffet you know and i assume if it's at a buffet then they're just going to be properly prepared. We all know how healthy they are. Yeah, so I'm going to walk through and be like, oh, these are probably like poor, gross children that weren't very clean. Like, you'd want high-quality ass meat

if you take Albert Fish, that serial killer, that he says that the ass is the best meat on the human body and he would know because he wrote a decent amount about eating people and i haven't eaten a single person no yeah but i would that's that exactly i haven't but i i would i just would and i wouldn't i wouldn't have any qualms about it really you know if we've got age male female like do you what's you have do you have someone in your head a picture of who you want to eat all right so like i wouldn't want anyone i wouldn't

want to have to like choose the person first of all i think you draw you to draw you to draw yeah yeah or or but but if it's my straw i'm not going out without a fight you know i'll be like you know i know i said but i still have the scalpel and like kill a guy right like right there and be like hey you're gonna kill me now he's already dead we could just eat him i am keeping the scalpel though and uh we'll draw lots next week when he's all gone and i'm gonna be honest if i draw a lot i'm still not going down without a fight like what would a person have to So everybody pulled their straws. What would the person have to look like who pulled the straw for you to be like, oh, no, no thank you. One of those old people whose skin is like paper and it's like really gross and they've got liver spots all over them and stuff. I feel like an old person would be the grossest.

That's like a seasoned cast iron pan. If you ever have Campbell's chicken noodle soup, the chicken that's in that is made of pullets. It's made of the egg-laying birds that are really old and at the end of their lifespan, and now they don't lay eggs well anymore, they slaughter those and they use that tough-ass chicken meat as that chicken in Campbell's chicken noodle soup. So I would imagine that an old person would be tough and stringy.

And I hate to say it, but I think the best person would be a child. We wouldn't kill the child, obviously. I feel like in a survival situation, the goal would be to keep the children alive and probably to keep the women alive, though I would speak up. You know, you're really putting a lot of value on the least important people in the survival situation. This has taken a turn. On a sinking boat, the most important thing is to keep the anchor dry.

But I guess I would prefer to eat a woman if that makes any sense. I think I would prefer to eat a woman. I don't know why. Fattier, maybe? No, it really has nothing to do with that. It just makes sense. It feels a makes sense it feels a little gay to eat a man does that make sense like like to eat to eat the man's meat you know to put

my mouth on his on on his naked body and this is a quick callback you know what's a little gay giving another man the heimlich in a classroom just throwing that out there just a little like if you take a picture at the right moment it could come off a little gay i suppose you know just saying uh even the instructor was making jokes about it i prefer to eat a woman i i would definitely prefer to eat a young woman uh the younger the better um you know i i a child would probably taste better than an adult i feel like like veal the veal of people you know um so if i if i had to just you you know, if they tell me, hey, you're going to eat somebody, we got a whole selection of human beings to eat from, I would choose, and they're already dead, you know? Which one do you want to eat?

You have to eat one. They're all getting eaten. Everybody gets a turn. You know, I'd pick like a nine-year-old girl or something, right? Depends how they're prepared too, right? Like if it's literally just an intact calf over a spit roast, then I'm with you on the women and children thing.

But if it's sliced and diced and it's like a piece of meat on a plate, then I really hardly care what it came from. I don't want to be able to see that it was a person. I don't want them to bring out a decorated fried hand, like a fried Dungeness crab or a decorated fried hand like a like a fried

dungeness crab or something it's like a buffalo wing you pose the hand and put the meat in it yeah i've got a technique for getting all the meat off of the fingers in one bite yeah i would eat the thumb i think i've said this before but think about your thumb like if you grabbed that you've got a real nice like like chicken wing type thing there with this thumb meat. And it's pretty substantial on a dude for sure. I think that would be a real nice – like if you had two thumbs, I mean that would almost fill me up. I don't know. I would definitely want the man hands of the wings.

The fact that it comes – you would eat it off the thumb. That's actually a selling point for me. It seems kind of like a chicken wing now. You could even clip off the end of the thumb so you're not thinking, oh, this guy had dirty nails. The nail. Get rid of that. I think you'd paint the nails for presentation.

If we all ate human hands, if Taylor would be excellent at it, he is shellfish. Trust me, I get more meat from hands than... Just fucking killing it. At the end of my dinner, there's just a bucket of finger bones. Oh, yeah, these were all the apple laborers

who were slacking this month. No, no, they caught them in the sheets they put up for them. Are you guys current on that ISIS thing? Apparently the ISIS capital was overthrown today. Yeah. Who overthrew it? The U.S.

Yeah, the U.S. in conjunction with, not the Kurds. The Kurds were having to flee. I'll have to look it up. But yeah, that's great news. Getting some shit done with ISIS. Some brown people who are slightly less evil probably late like I saw the woman tearing off her burka and she just tears it off to reveal a

slightly less revealing and they just burka has gold highlights she tears this thing off that the burka like covers everything but like an eye slit and she's like dancing I'm free tears it off and now you see my nose! And this is like, and of course they cut that video

off 10 seconds before some other guy walks around and is like, no, no, let's not get carried away. Put it back on. No dancing! One day at a time. The United States partnered with the next ISIS, because that's how we do it, whether it be Al-Qaeda or ISIS or whatever.

Whoever will follow up the ISIS, we're arming them now. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's good news. One day at a time. Yeah, I mean, anything where ISIS is deposed is good. Yeah.

Probably. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? Who knows what ISIS... It's never met charlie wilson's war right how does he say it the whole thing like ah we'll see you know and then like another oh he broke his knee oh it's such a tragedy we'll see he misses vietnam such you know that's such a good thing well we'll see and then he goes to this and they uh every every every piece of the story seemed like good or bad news and it was really the opposite so we took out isis today that's great right we'll see as far as we know yeah i mean until

they crop up somewhere else and it's like oh we had a we had another city stronghold that now and it's in a different region with even more politics it's not like you took out the the cincinnati reds and they and they're like because you know they got an organization there and they got like a 40 man roster and then coach and a gm we got them all like it's more like you you can't take out isis because you know they're just they're global they're not really a centralized thing i mean they they are to some extent but they're also another thing that's that's sort of an idea it's kind of like anonymous and political ideology world. Anonymous, like, oh, you're not really anonymous. Yeah, I am. Whatever. I've just declared it. Now I'm a non.

And, you know, I'll put on the stupid Guy Fawkes mask, and now I'm part of it. No one would be as scared of ISIS if every time they had an attack, they wore one of those ridiculous, you know, $2 Amazon Guy Fawkes masks that you can't even breathe out of correctly have you seen the skinny pictures of kim jong-un or yeah yeah it's really funny oh yeah so um

through photoshop they were like north korea would be a lot more intimidating if he were thin and then you see it and it's like yeah actually i'm like lee's running that shit yeah and you're like whoa i was actually listening to a North Korean interview video, like a defector who had left, and he was talking about how like, you know, of course now, compared to the olden days, you know, people are way

less indoctrinated. Way more people know this is bullshit, but there's nothing we can do about it. Like, we have no guns, we have no way to fight back, we're in camps, we have no food. You know, when you're entirely contingent on the government for your food, you can't stage a riot or they'll starve you to death, as they've done before. But he was saying that Kim Jong-un gained a ton of weight on purpose so that he will look like Kim Il-sung, his grandfather, and people will be more respectful to him. What a convenient excuse to gain weight. But this was from a defector.

And so he was saying plenty of negative stuff about him, too, obviously. But then he was saying, like, yeah, he's not a stupid guy. Like he like it's pretty considered that he gained a bunch of that weight because even though Kim Jong-un isn't looked at as favorably, people really have a good, good memory of Kim Il-sung, not his father, his grandfather. And so he got fat to look like him i'm glad you said that he wasn't dumb because i like i've been making that case for a long time everyone that we go up against is like stupid and a madman in particular i've said

that so many times this guy's been in charge for three generations trump was like look a lot of people tried to dethrone him he trump called him a smart cookie, I think. And the press just lambasted Trump. They went against him way too hard, in my opinion. Because it's like, no, no, he's right. To run North Korea, now I'm not saying he's doing a great job at running North Korea, but to stay in power in a regime like that takes a certain amount of political maneuvering and insulating yourself. It's not an easy task. He's doing something right just not to be overthrown and yeah you know his people are

inventing a nuclear weapon underneath him they get it's let's just dismiss the idea that he's a total moron because if he was he'd be out of that he would have never made it to power in the first place and madman doesn't. When I hear madman, that doesn't make me think moron, but I think to a lot of people out there it does. They're like, oh, you're just saying he's a madman. You think he's just some crazy idiot? It's like, no, if he's a, quote, madman, which I do

think he is because he puts millions of his people in camps, you can still look at that through his eyes, which is evil but rational, saying, I'm going to keep my power, and if i have to kill millions of people to do it that's what i'm gonna do madman to me implies a certain lack of planning nonsense right if you're a madman you're not thinking through you're not calculated right to me those are the opposites and i think madman more of just like when you're doing

reprehensible things to your people like to me, Hitler wasn't a madman, right? See, yeah, that's how we differ on that. Because I would say Hitler was a madman because he was murdering millions of Jews and gays and gypsies and the rest. Yeah, to me, he needs a different adjective. You know, he could be evil. He could be this.

He could be that. But madman to me is... Fuck, I'm looking for like an unplanned cartoon character or something that just goes hog wild. Tasmanian Devil is a madman. Not Hitler.

Just going crazy, shooting the guns in the air. Man, I love the Looney Tunes. I watched a thing today that was like, what happened to Saturday morning cartoons? They broke all the reasons down that there are no more Saturday morning cartoons. Are they not summarized? No.

Some of it was the expense. Some of it was some legislation that was passed that you had to put X amount of educational programming on your network every week. They chose to put animal shows and stuff. Some of it was... I wish Kyle didn't break up so often. Yeah. It's almost every 30 seconds. Really? That's lame.

I'm going to hang up and call back. I used to watch Saturday morning cartoons to an unhealthy level quite frankly and uh uh now they're gone i always thought it like the way maybe maybe this isn't why but it would have happened anyway with the youtube and netflix and the on-demand commercial free that makes streamed tv just uninteresting to me yeah Yeah, I totally agree. The reason that we got up as kids to watch Saturday morning

cartoons is because if I slept past 7.30, I wouldn't get to see the new episode of Pokemon. And so I had to wake up and be there in front of the TV at 7.30. Now, a kid who's 11 years old now or whatever, they can wake up at 1.30 in the afternoon and be like, all right, there we go.

Everything's right here on demand. It's just a different format. On demand is so much better. Yeah. When I have to watch any commercials now, I feel like accosted. Where I'm like, what? There's commercials on in this media?

I watched some college football this past weekend and it was just baffling where it was just constant like so many ads and i i didn't watch the nfl because we don't have the rams and i never really watched them before that but apparently it's even worse in the nfl the time breakdown of play to ads that's been my criticism for everyone's like all the nfl is dying and they have some valid reasons with the kids not getting into football because of the cte etc but i think they put so many commercials in it and i don't know how to fix it because it's not like they're going to want to pay cut with fewer commercials but there's so many commercials in it that the

on-demand stuff is just pulling people into something else yeah and they're going to start making way less money the NFL as far as advertising goes because their viewership has dropped off by a large margin and so like who's to say when you know a month from now Budweiser goes hey uh here at AB we do a lot of advertising with you guys and you guys are only getting 69 70 70 of your normal viewership and so we're gonna start paying you 69 70 of our current rate you know or that kind of thing like and then that's a huge blow to them or budweiser a company like that that really is more like on the

stand for the anthem thing which is such a stupid that's still brought up but they could do an even more interesting marketing thing and be like uh yeah, we have America on our cans, obviously. We know who we're selling our beer to, and we don't feel comfortable sponsoring anymore. I bet they would get a huge lift in sales out of that if they did. But, yeah, maybe. It depends on the – I don't know the specific – they'd have to come back eventually, so you're right.

It would be short. You get those Cly you get those horses here's the commercial you got this Clydesdale horses all laying down and the anthem starts playing and all the horses are standing up fucking fucking saluting the flag like with their little little hoof up dude that would be a great commercial they would never do it because it's too divisive needlessly and they're just a beer company. But the realistic thing there is that they would the realistic thing, the smart thing would fit for them to just say yeah we're not paying you what we usually do because you're delivering you know two thirds the audience. Liberals don't drink Budweiser. No, they know their audience. But there's a lot of AB products that aren't Budweiser. Do black people drink it?

No. They don't? I don't even know. With cigarettes, you could almost say, here's the one black people smoke, and here's the one white people smoke. Don't black people drink Budweiser? I think Budweiser and Bud Light are so... I'm skewed because I live in St. Louis, so it's all Budweiser products and Bud Light

around here. A thing to remember also is AB, Anheuser-Busch, they own a fuck ton of craft breweries. So if you walk through the beer aisle, you may think, oh, there's a ton of little companies here, giving their best. It's like, oh, there used to be a ton of little companies. Now it's Anheuser-Busch, and then

Anheuser-Busch, Anheuser-Busch, Anheuser-Busch. And so, yeah, that would bite them in the ass if suddenly all the IPA drinkers, or the stouts, honey, coffee, beer people were like, yeah, no, not doing that. Yeah, I don't know. That would be interesting to see how it goes, because the NFL, it really is losing ratings quickly. Like they're in in crash mode. They need to fix something now. Yeah, I don't think it's about the kneeling though maybe there's a part of it i don't know where there's definitely a part of it i saw something

that like 28 of people who were tuning out of the nfl this year said that it had to do with kneeling which isn't the majority but it is a percentage that's not not insignificant could be convenient too i don't like it it really does upset me and uh to the point where like like i you know i'm big on brand loyalty and uh and you know i i know that my tiny amount that i spend on pepsi or coca-cola is completely insignificant but it's really the principle of the matter like there's no way i've got nfl today or something i've got a bunch of NFL networks. I refuse to watch the Falcons on there.

I stream it illegally on YouTube because I don't want them to get any money from me. They don't get a rating from me. They don't get that. It's a principal thing for you. The Eagles are good this year. I don't watch the games really. I just follow up on them. I see the play-by-play.

I look at the stats. It's quicker that way. But it's exciting to me that the Eagles are doing well. I might go Kyle this year if they keep winning and hop on that bandwagon. Yeah! It's fun. Oh, and then Georgia

played Mizzou this weekend. Again, I was just online and I was like, let's see how this is. And it was like 7-7. And then it was 14-14. And I popped into the Skype conversation we all have. Be like, hey, there's a game this is. And it was like 7-7. And then it was 14-14. And I popped into the Skype conversation we all have. Be like, hey, there's a game going on here. You guys seeing this?

But no one was online. But after 14-14, I think it about separated. Yeah, it finished up at like 28-50. Or something like 53. But through most of the first half, it was a game. Yeah, it was supposed to be a bloodbath blowout. And so when I saw the score at the end, so I didn't watch the game,

I was like, oh, all right, not too bad, not too bad. Lost by 30, don't mean to brag, but... Yeah, lost by 25. Don't mean to brag. But yeah, we fucking suck. Suck this year. Do you think it's impacted by the like mizzou had a huge like scandal nazi thing and poop or something uh at about the time that yeah at about the time that it was the melissa click that uh you remember like that we need some muscle over here like professor was telling that asian reporter who was trying to report things in like the quad where everybody can be on public property it's a public

university like telling him that he needed to get out and whatnot uh for like their black lives matter protests or what have you and uh yeah that reflected horribly on the school the class they had enter this year is the smallest class they've had since before I even went there. So that reflected horribly on the school, but that was at about a time when you would be having your juniors and seniors now, right? Yeah, I think. Yeah, because it was like three years ago. Yeah.

That might be heard. Maybe you had lousy recruiting classes and that's related. I bet that did have something to do with it. And then also Gary Pinkle, our coach, who pulled us out of the shitter and made us really good for a few years. He got cancer, and so he had to retire. He wasn't able to do his recruiting anymore.

There's an actual football logic in this, Taylor. There's an actual football logic. But now we are. Recruiting sucks. What we need to be doing is going down to Alabama and Auburn and scouting out all the kids who would be on their second team you know and be like hey you're never gonna play at alabama and you know you're never gonna play at alabama you'll be playing all the fucking time at mizzou come on

i don't think you're thinking this through right you need to go down there and be like we've got strippers uh our girls will fuck you this is how you recruit football players now. Are you not paying attention? That's true. We'll pay your mom $40,000 and get you laid all the time. You've got to help. Do any school work? You'll have a designated nerd to do all your assignments for you.

UNC just got away with that. There's a term called paper courses where you don't even have to show up to class. It's a nothing called paper courses where you don't even have to show up to class. It's a nothing class. Apparently, they were dead to rights. It went on for six years, eight years. It was a long thing. Just recently, it closed up and UNC got nothing for it.

There's no trouble. I think that's got to help UGA's recruitment because Athens is a really nice party town. It's just bars and cool little trendy shops and areas. It's really cool in Athens. It's a nice place. I agree. You know what else helps their recruitment? Winning.

If I'm kicking ass as a high school senior right now, I'm probably looking at Georgia differently than I did a couple years ago. Yeah, like I said last week, we got the number one recruit in the country for next year. I didn't follow. What position does he play? QB.

Yeah, we got three five-star QBs as of next year. He might be on the bandwagon for a couple years. This is where, if I'm Georgia, I do a trade. Take one of those five-star QBs, work with Florida, and get yourself a receiver. It should work that way. It's a shame that they need money in the collegiate football game.

Just let it loose. Just stop with all this because we know that stuff is— Talk about the rich getting richer. College is already just filled with whatever, 40 teams that could possibly be good. Ah, shit, 10 or 20. It could possibly be good. Ah, shit. 10 or 20. It depends where good is. Yeah.

Yeah. Like 25. Like, yeah, pretty much. It's a, well, I just say that, like,

I think 40 teams make up most of the top 25 over the course of a decade. Like that's where I'm headed. Yeah. Yeah. Probably so. And, and Alabama is just Alabama, USC are just,

and, uh, and maybe, maybe a Texas or Texas are just perennially just right up there every single fucking time. It's really annoying that Alabama's right next door and they're so fucking good. Yeah, they're ranked one as per usual. And then Georgia's up to three. Clemson lost. And the only person ahead of them is Penn State. But if Penn State played Georgia, I bet Georgia would smoke them. Who knows? Because...

What was I going to say? Oh, oh. To tell you how little I know about college football, I had the idea that the top eight teams went to the playoffs. So I was like, Georgia's kind of safe. They might even lose one and be okay. But prior to last week, I haven't looked again. Yeah, now they're third. But last week before clemson was out they were on the bubble like some they

were four and five so there were no guarantee to get into the playoffs at all yeah and it's it's a long season too we got a lot we got to play florida uh not this i think there's a buy this week i got to play florida next and then uh then auburn so there's a bye this week. I've got to play Florida next and then Auburn. So there's a couple more tough games to go. And then Georgia Tech's coming up, and I know they're not ranked, but still. Florida's not ranked either. Yeah, but still, it's Florida. All three of those are scary games for me as a Georgia fan.

For us. For us. for us for us you've got florida south carolina auburn uh kentucky and tech georgia it's a really easy season they're ranked 16th i mean look i get it your third 16th is you know probably not interesting to you but if you're right yeah we've been in the rankings for a couple weeks now it's a very big time for us. What does your schedule look like? Do you have a chance to play against a top five team? Because then you can rock it out. Yes, but I'm not sure that's good.

We're up against Notre Dame and Clemson our next two games. So we might drop out. That's going to not be fun, I don't think, for the North Carolina folks. Hey, MMA math. Who just beat Clemson was it syracuse and i think state beat syracuse already so hey just saying yeah they did 33 25 so that proves that state's better than clemson well you got it then that's sports math that's how that works so i don't know it's neat i. The Falcons absolutely shit the bed this weekend.

I'm on the edge of the back of the bandwagon. I'm ready to just hop off and start walking. One loss in NFL. Dude, they were beating the Dolphins. Yeah, they were beating the Dolphins the entire game. And somewhere in the fourth quarter, I started watching something on TV, and I had the game playing on my computer. I look back, and it's like, final, you lose.

I was like, what happened? I still don't even know exactly what happened. One close loss, and you're off the bandwagon. Oh, they lost a close one in the fourth quarter. Fuck them. I'm bandwagoning the Kansas City Chiefs. That's who I'm going to jump on. They're 5-1, which means that I'm at the front of the bandwagoning the Kansas City Chiefs. That's who I'm going to jump on. They're 5-1, which means that I'm at the front of the bandwagon for now.

They're in Missouri, so that's something. I want to bandwagon those Golden Knights. Yeah. Oh, Vegas? Yeah, they're doing way better than I thought. They'll simmer out soon because right now James... How are they winning? simmer out soon because right now uh how are they winning uh a lot of it has to do with a couple games of exceptional goaltending from flurry and then neil james neil this veteran player that they

got uh you know because they just didn't want him anymore on nashville he's scored six goals in the first five games like a couple of games just single-handedly winning it. And, you know, that's not sustainable. He's not going to finish the season with 100 goals. I'm really glad. No one's ever done that. I'm really glad. He's not going to be the first. You, like, gave actual analysis instead of just saying, well, they score more than their opponent.

Well, at the same time, giving up fewer goals. I'm talking about that real analysis. Yeah. Like a John Madden explanation. Well, they get in there and they just get more points than the other guy by the end of the game, and that's how you win. We're making those passes, and it's just exactly what we're trying to get done out there. I don't really know what I'm starting to understand about hockey,

but it's a lot of fun to be here. It's a two-part plan of getting more points than your opponent and making your opponent get less points than you. Yeah, it's a two-part plan. Shoot the puck puck score the puck keep it on the other end you know i liked his uh i liked playing madden as a kid yeah and even then like because i mean like madden 98 or whatever like they it's the technology wasn't there for there to be more than like four or five phrases that he said about everything and even then like

not knowing much about football i was was just like, this guy, this guy doesn't seem to know that much more than me. And I don't know that much. I know that's B-L-E-S-H-A-L-E-M-A-R-Y. Just broad generalisms. Like, oh, that's how you win right there. You put the ball in your hands and you run it real far and sometimes you throw it and sometimes you catch it.

Woo-hoo! I play those games. You're like, that's gonna hurt. And it's like, sometimes you can't hit. Woo-hoo! I play those games. That's gonna hurt. And it's like, I just completed a pass. I knew so little about football when I was playing those games. It'd be like, you know, dime or nickel. Clearly dime. Like, I don't know my currency.

I think that's the defensive coverage, or whether you're going for five or ten, right? Isn't that what that means? Like, in a nickel, if it's a five-yard play, a dime, a ten-yard play, depending on you're going for five or ten, right? Isn't that what that means? In a nickel, a five-yard play, a dime, a ten-yard play, depending on what you need for the first down. I really don't know very much about it. I didn't even know that. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. Madden 2004 was the one I played the most because Michael Vick was on the cover. That was also the year where he broke his leg, and then the next year it was the dog fighting, and then... Yeah, downhill. Yeah. Yeah.

So I do actually know how to play hockey. I'm cleared to skate on my broken leg. That seems risky. Well, apparently it has to do with, so you've got your foot on the ground, how much lateral stability you have to provide on your own. And in skating, the boot does all that for you. So that's why.

I don't know if a hockey skate does. I feel like they're looser. Do they have a lot of ankle support in a hockey skate, or do you keep it kind of wobbly? Yeah, you should be putting a lot of ankle support on there. Okay. I had this idea that it was different. But definitely all the guys that skate out

like yeah you don't even need ankles really you just fastened into the boot it could just be attached to your shin and and do its thing chiz and i were online last night for about four hours watching stolen valor videos on youtube i fucking love that people pretending to be in the military? Yeah, and getting called out. Some guy comes up, and I don't know anything about the military. I got plenty of respect for the military, but I don't know the jargon. And they'd be like, what's your EOS?

Oh, really? What unit? What this? What that? And these guys, they have many of them have it down pretty well. But they'd be like, oh yeah, who's your commanding officer? Smithers? I don't think so.

I was at Camp Pendleton. There ain't no Smithers there. And they'll just tear these guys apart. And then they'll start yelling, stolen valor, stolen valor, and humiliate them in public. I'm a big fan. They usually mess up something really subtle, right? Like they've got a complete Navy uniform with one bar that was given out

to the rangers or something it's like ah wait a minute the vertical green part of that ribbon is double wide instead of single wide and that's how i can tell like whoa these people yeah the guy stuff the guy had like three stripes and i and like each stripe is for like a theater that you have served in and he was like where'd you get those and he's like I got him in Afghanistan I did I did three tours he knew that each stripe was for a tour but he's like that ain't how it works you got to go to a different place to get a different stripe like you can go back to Afghanistan 10 times but you only get one of those stripes and he's like ah well our mission in

afghanistan deviated sometimes over into pakistan and then i was also in haiti and he's like no no that's not what you just said and it's just it just really tear these guys down and humiliate them in public what are they trying to do in public like dressed up as a fake military man like get discounts or something exactly the most common one that i noticed and and they don't really call it out in the videos it's starbucks discounts almost like like 70 of these guys have to be have a cup of starbucks in their hand like like so often they have the starbucks in their hand i guess maybe you get a steep discount on that six dollar cup of coffee um lots yeah and you only have to sell your soul one One guy, one guy was like 60 and he was covered

in medals. He looked like a Christmas tree. And he starts pulling out military IDs. All these fake military... He's like, I was a F-14 Tomcat pilot. I was in the CIA. I was a ranger. I was

a Navy SEAL. He's like Captain America. This is Spencer's gifts on the CIA. I was a ranger. I was a Navy SEAL. Like, he's like Captain America. Oh, this has Spencer's gifts on the back? He was like Captain America with this shit. Both, like, chests, both sides of his chest drenched in, like, gold and silver and, like, ribbons and bars. And then when he pulled out the fake IDs from from the fbi and the cia and his like pilots that shit it was absurd like how did they know that it was fake because it's just they weren't that good clearly well i they looked real enough i don't i think the way you knew it

was fake was because it's just impossible to do all those things like nobody does all those things mad dog madness doesn't have those accomplishments yeah you know yeah he's to do all those things. Nobody does all those things. Mad Dog Madness doesn't have those accomplishments. Yeah. Nobody does all those things. Nobody in the CIA and flying F-14s. You were a general and an admiral? I'm impressed. Yeah, I got bored of the Navy.

Decided to see what I could do in the Army. Just cranch through those rankings. You went to the Naval Academy and West Point? Wow. They'll mix and match. He's like, you've got Army pants on and Air Force shirt on. Sometimes it's more subtle. There'll be a whole Army outfit with one Navy pin or one this and one this.

Like, that's where they got you. Stolen Valor, obviously terrible're just be who you are yeah what i don't like on the military side that i see all the time is when they use like vocabulary in terms that are specific to their unit and they know their audience you know like oh yeah we had to have back over here and pos over there it's like you know we don't know what that means. Yeah, we had a couple of D12s, two clicks north, and it's like, oh, did you? Did you? You want me to start talking about magic cards?

Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I feel like you have to know your audience, you know? There are computer science terms that I could use, and if I were to break into the total nerd version of the way I'm speaking, I wouldn't be an effective communicator. It's frowned upon. A couple of units of White Lions of Thrace,

and then the Skaven came in about two clicks to the north. They had some Doom Wheels. It got ugly there. What are we talking about? The Swordmen of Hoth. Is this Warhammer stuff? This is Warhammer stuff? Yeah. If I was going to do Stolen Valor,

I feel like you would just want to go whole hog and get World War I trench kind of outfits to where if someone was like, hey, you didn't fight at Versailles. I'd be like, no shit, idiot. I just wanted a cheap coffee. What if you just stole a little Valor? It seems like you could get away with it. How'd you get that?

I did one tour. That's it. And actually, all I have is indirect fire. But it's good for coffee discounts. I got a copper star and this is a lead circle. It's a copper star. They didn't quite approve me for browns.

This right here is the tin skillet. I cooked mess one morning an hour early. They gave me that for this. I was never deployed. All I ever did is change the oil in Humvees, but I'll take my discount now. That's all you gotta do. That's the purple dipstick right there.

Skip my knuckles. Change the oil on a Humvee. People wouldn't haze you about it. You'd get away with it. They steal too much valor. That's the core issue. They go way overboard. I saw a guy at his grandson's graduation dressed up in Marine Corps dress attire and getting called out in front of his wife and everything.

And, you know, it's humiliating. It's humiliating. And there are far too few ass whoopings handed out, if you ask me, because I can only imagine those guys' point of view. But if I had gone and done that and my friends had died presumably which is what a lot of them yell out he's like my my friends died over there doing what you're pretending to do you're stealing their valor you're wearing my uniform like i can only imagine what that mindset but i'm surprised more ass whoopings aren't handed out on the other hand if someone tried to steal like your valor and

exaggerated the amount of subs they had on their youtube channel would you be all butthurt about it nah that's a little different i don't know what the the same thing would be just trying to yeah trying to find an equivalent like there's nothing in my world where if you claim to have done it too i'd be like no i run into that all the time like like you know people who like i don't know we'll be in an xbox chat or something and they don't know who i am or whatever and they start bragging about their 3 000 subscribers and whatever and like oh yeah when you got 5 000 subscribers you get all the sponsors and i'm like oh really yeah that's great at five yeah all right msi oh cool cool nvidia too all right that's a hard one to

nail down i almost had an nvidia sponsor i uh i mean i'm i'm telling the truth i swear but um i did a video oh really yeah yeah here's how it went down i um i used to have a series called tech tuesday and like the second or third video was about Nvidia, and I explained how they were making RAM faster essentially by stacking it instead of spreading it all spreading it off across the PCB and Printed circuit board. I don't want to do exactly what the fucking army guys I fusted to hit it So they used to have it spread across the PCB and then even just how long it took to Like the electronic signal to go around would slow down what they could do so stacking

the RAM vertically was a new thing and I just sort of laid it out there and the impact that would have and then on games like what you could do with that compared to what you can do today and an NVIDIA rep saw it and reached out to Heather and said that they wanted to work with me so we put

like a DVD together, you know, of like my videos to demonstrate what I do, including the one they liked. And we had t-shirts made up and we met with them at what is that big show out? VidCon, PAX, E3. E3. And thank you.

And we met with them at E3 and they said they were all interested and it just never closed. And that's, that's as close as I got doing NVIDIA sponsorship. Heather. I love when Joe Lozon called her out. We had Heather on and it was like trying to make Heather uncomfortable. Yeah.

And I was like asking her about anal sex and stuff and she was fine talking about that. And then Joe was like, I got a question. Why can't you do your job? Why are you so bad at your job? That's exactly what he said. Why are you so bad at your job? And then he starts talking about the lack of deals

that she brings in. And suddenly... And he's a guy with sponsors, with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of sponsors back before the Reebok shit. I think he handles knows and he i think he handles that himself or maybe he did at the time he had okay and uh so so he would know you know like like yeah he's a bad job he was just like flabbergasted it was i like that so i worked with heather in a couple like she did a couple different roles under me and making something out

of nothing, it just wasn't how she was wired, right? You know, if you're like, hey, Heather, you know, go out in the world and cold call and make things happen. On the other hand, at Woodycraft, like there would be a task list, you know, an order of things that she needed to like keep on top of a queue. And literally like on a web page you just you know the cases would come in and she was outstanding at that and it's like all right you know know your staff know where they're strong and and do that right i uh i i had to learn to manage i think i'm still learning to manage people what he's so nice just he made that his he made he made heather not being good at selling ads his flaw you notice that that's how he just took that bullet his he made he made heather not being good at selling ads his flaw notice how he just took that bullet for heather just well that was like i was

i wasn't going to embarrass him over it but that was a very classy way to handle it and it sounds i believe you and some people are just better at you know doing those itemized lists and tasks than they are kind of taking the initiative on creative or, you know, really starting something new. Yeah. Anyway, call it a show.

Yeah, I think so. PKN 165. I hope you guys liked it.