Painkiller Already - PKN #174

Episode Date: December 29, 2017

It's PKN time baby!

pkn bits now episode 174 all right are we leading with toddler killing tj we're gonna leave with tj all right yeah so who i could lay it out there i only read it briefly does someone really follow it i mean i didn't i don't know how much there is to really follow if you read it uh more thoroughly you can spell it out my understanding is just that he harassed and apparently raped, which is a step above. And in the midst of some sexing, bopped this girl in the face a couple of times, like punched her in the mouth. There is a whole other version of this story. Oh, OK. Oh, I bet there is.

So apparently TJ Miller and this woman dated for a while, like in college. And they did some kinky shit like he choked her during sex and she's like he has her pinned and choked and they're having sex by the way repeatedly like it's not like he raped her and left her on the side of the road

like they had some kind of relationship and she's like I would just like look at him and try to convey that i didn't like it like really that that was you didn't say pineapple or something like i don't know but but she said that she's like she could talk and move whatever and he's like this is not true uh this lady has been following me for ages Everyone in my personal circle Knows this person My wife knows

It's a shame, it is sad She's been saying this about me For some time now And that is not who I am It devalues all the Me Too movement Of people who legitimately Have had sexual assault against them That is not what she and i had that's tj's

side of it um so he has denied it and that's interesting to be honest he's been like a stalker a bit like yes well not letting him leave like you're not letting him fully distance exactly and the thing that that's compelling to me like um to tie it into the matt lauer one right it's like oh my god it was so terrible he bent me over the desk locked the door fucked me etc right repeatedly for months and months and months bitch what you did is not victimhood what you did is sleeping to the top you fucking whore in a way you know fool me once with your under the desk button shame on me you know fool me multiple times yeah i'm just a fucking home wrecking whore trying to sleep my way to the top right that that

is a poor matt lauer i don't know matt lauer's a cheater fuck him too what are you right like that's the thing is there's no we've thrown away any semblance of differentiation between any level of harassment or assault. Like, Matt Damon got in trouble fucking yesterday. Like, I saw him trending on Twitter, and I was like, what did Matt Damon do other than be friends with that smarmy douche Affleck? Like, clicked it, and it was like, and it was just Matt Damon, like, apparently, like, people were outraged over a quote of him being like, well, guys, there's a spectrum of this. Like when you lump in a guy who slaps a butt with a guy who jumps out of the bushes and rapes you or drugs you and rapes you, you're really not doing any favors to the victims of the more intense crime.

And people were like, oh, so now you're saying that it doesn't matter. It's like, no, and you know that's not what I'm saying, but you're so up on your ivory tower that any question of any accusation whatsoever is like, you can't use common sense anymore at all. Like, you have to just buy it. MSNBC, of all places, phrased it in a way that really clicked with me. They said, there are cases,

there is black and there is white, right? And in those places we all agree, like violent rape over here, loving relationship over there. And then somewhere in the middle, there is gray. And that is where the conversation needs to take place. And I'm like, yes, yes. You've got guys like Rory Moore, who's, I forget which was good and bad, black or white,

all the way close to white, who's dating little girls and putting their 14-year-old's hands on his cock, on top of his underwear whatever that's pretty bad so bad right and then you've got their parents all the way on the other side of it like matt lauer cheating on his wife yes but you know she's acting like she was a real victim in this whole thing and she fucked him over the course of six months the dozens of times in his office in his house on top of a roof with the mouse whatever and you know like green eggs and ham i was going with but anyway i would put if what you're saying about tj miller's like true and that like he has been trying to stave this lady off yeah and that like this was a consensual

relationship from 2001 where it does get kinky. Like, are we going to pretend that women don't like that? Like, that's not a very common form. The Fifty Shades of Grey is the biggest selling book of all time. It was the fastest selling book. The Bible. Like, Jesus was like, God, this is like, I'm not going to be number one on Amazon at this rate. Like, I really should have choked Mary Magdalene a little.

Maybe I should have given her a little force grip or something like that or whatever he can do. But, like, that reality exists. That's our reality. Like, being bound, being dominated and tied is arguably the most common female sexual fantasy. And we have to, when this comes up and some guy says, no, she wanted me to choke her. She wanted me to do this. We have to be like, well, that's a little far-fetched.

Name one book that made the author billions of dollars over the course of four months. Name one in the last couple of years. And then name a second one being the sequel and the third one being the sequel. The whole tie-up thing? That's not kinky to me. I don't know. Everyone does that at some point, right?

Who hasn't done a little tie in their hands? I think it just depends on how tied up are we talking have you have you learned the japanese art of night of not tying yet no because then we're verging on a little kid like are you suspending bitches in your living room like has that happened that's a kick if you guys don't like it knock yourself out you know i have seen girls on reddit who are tied artfully and symmetrically, both arms and legs. And it's practically like they made a rope dress or something.

But you've also seen the other ones where the tits are tied up so tight that it looks like just a zit that's about to pop. I love that. Who's enjoying this? Hey, come on. I like that and I know girls that do as well. Oh, I'm sure they like it. I'm just saying visually, I'm not... Well, that's a little deeper into the bondage thing,

but everyone's gone to the light side of it where you just take your tie off and put our hands together, right? Like, that's... Yeah, that's the light side. But the point is, it shouldn't matter how much... Yeah, you pop her a few in the mouth. Back of the head.

I didn't read the full article about T.J. Miller, but if that's the case that is a damn shame I guess if it is like that eventually it'll come out as like hey this chick is kind of a liar and manipulative and just taking advantage of a social movement

right now do you think we're at the point yet where Me Too is collapsing again well my challenge is this what I've observed is the people who more successfully defend themselves against this, deny, deny, deny, right? Al Franken went with the, look, you know, the more extreme stuff,

the stuff we'd really be offended by. I don't remember that. But I take your thoughts very seriously. And I'm worried about you. And the Me Too thing is something that weighs in with me. And everyone was like, you sound guilty, bitch. That's not the way innocent people explain things generally. Well, what if you're just born with lots of white guilt?

But the people who just say, what? Trump is like, I never met her. We're like, we've got photos with you guys together. Well, and then I never met the other ones, right? That's not even compelling for me about Trump or Franken, because they've been famous for decades. And of course, like, if some guy said, Al Franken, I met you.

And he's like, I've never met you. And it's like, here, a picture of me outside of a comedy club when you performed there in 1982. Hundreds of people took your picture that night. He's like, are you shitting me? I didn't meet you. You showed 1982. Hundreds of people took your picture that night. He's like, are you shitting me? I didn't meet you. You showed up. And they took there. He's like, I never met her. Oh, she went to the Apprentice Fan Club

meeting. I mean, are you fucking shitting me? The context of the picture matters. You're right. You're right. If it's outside the Trump hotel, then that might not mean very much. They could have been waiting at the door for him. If they're in a hot tub. She's behind him in the crowd. Get the fuck out! then that might not mean very much. They could have been waiting at the door for him. If they're in a hot tub. They're like a Yankees game.

She's behind him in the crowd. Fuck out. Hot tub's a great example, though. If they're in a hot tub together, I was going to say like on a party at a couch together. They met. They met. That's the thing that happened.

They met. So yeah, yeah. But whatever. You're right. Your initial point of the gradient needing to be discussed more is like, it's almost like the people who the gradient needing to be discussed more is like, it's almost like the people who are pushing it so hard where it's like, no, just believe everything.

Believe everything. Like, they feel like if they give an inch that everybody's going to take a mile, which I'm sure some people will. But at the end of the day, it's like, well, you need to give that inch so that not every accusation is suddenly brought under scrutiny. Or people go, oh, well, now you're saying this person was raped. But last time you brought someone up who didn't even, it turned out they were lying or it turned out that she was just TJ Miller's kinky sex partner. You know, like it just does a disservice to the, to the actual

people who are victimized. So that's, that's pretty shitty. Oh oh did you hear about that uh supersize me fucking creep this guy i guarantee is a morgan spurlock he's the liar who uh made that documentary about mcdonald's uh that documentary was bunk entirely made up an actual nutritionist or a dietitian did a documentary afterward i say nutritionist and dietitian because i don't recall which one is the reputable one i think it's dietitian. But the reputable one did it as well and was like, I took so much umbrage with Morgan Spurlock's documentary. I'm going to eat McDonald's for 30 days and show that I can lose 25 pounds.

And then he did it. And he didn't do it with the salads. He did it with just like portion control. I knew that was bullshit myself because I eat the equivalent of McDonald's for years at a time. You know, like at a time. Forget a month. I didn't die or anything. My favorite part was what he called his brother.

He was like 20 days into it or something. He wanted to quit. He's like, I don't think I can make it anymore. I'm sweating. I'm exhausted. He's like, dude, people do this for decades. You're fine. You've been doing it for three weeks. Somehow that sank into me. I'm like, yeah, that's true, actually.

It's a bad diet, I'll admit that. But let's not pretend that you're risking death. Yeah, no. But this dude, who's known for making kind of spurious documentaries, came out preemptively and was like, you know, I was thinking about all these people being accused. And I just in my memory, I'm like, you know what? I may not even be one of the good guys. Like, I can't really hammer it down exactly here or there where I may have hurt women in the past,

but I'm sure I have. And every man needs to be coming forward to apologize about this. I had sex with a woman years ago and I thought it was great. And then I heard from a friend of hers that she thought that it was kind of skeevy. And I thought, man, I'm not very good at reading these situations. This is a problem that men need to be accountable for. Men as a whole just need to get this under control. And it's like, you slimy, skeevy, probably a rapist, allegedly at some point. Like you, only a guilty person would come out and try and lump all men in into this. It's like, no, the reason you're seeing it in every man out there is because you're that fucking guy. You're the creep projecting your creepiness onto every other dude out there. Like no innocent people come out and preemptively apologize in a roundabout way.

He was trying to hedge his bet. I don't know. Here's the thing so like i've had these thoughts like am i a good guy or bad guy right always thought of myself as a good guy there was this one time i was at a party i drank she drank we hooked up we kissed i tried to touch her boob and then she did this like elbow thing saying we're gonna stop it kissing all right that was the whole episode you Tongue kissing, whatever. Then her friends the next day were like, you tried to touch her boob.

I'm like, yeah. I was going to keep going until she said not to go anymore. That's always been my method. Is that somehow bad? But they acted like I was some sort of rapist. It was like, no. Is that not how this even goes?

First kiss, then boob you're fine like the whole point now they propagate this nonsense where it's like you want to ask if you can grab a girl's tit you want to ask would you like to go to bed now my lady I've got a series of forms for you to put out

it might take more than 20 minutes I hope you stay wet by then you know like no that's not the way that's not the way any of this shit works if you want to just hear

the crinkling of dry fall leaves from a woman's pants ask explicitly for consent to do something because there's

no better way to elucidate to her that oh what a not confident weasley loser like that what kind of am confident weasley loser like that tell her the matt lauer am i talking to right here like it it's it's ridiculous like there's so much nuance to to sexuality i have reading people like you're not another story where they made me out like a bad

guy and i'm like interesting multiple stories keep going know. Here's the other one. I think Taylor's going to be on my side too. Well, I tried to hook up with a girl. And I think we did. I think we hooked up. I might have even touched a boob. Like that's as far as it went. It wasn't like a big thing. And then they're like, dude, she was 13.

And I said, yeah, I'm 14. Like, is this so wild? And they're like, oh my God, how could you? And I'm like, this is why I try to do this all the time. So 14-year-old, 13-year-old. All right, I was a year older, but dude. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, yeah.

This is just how people mature. You would have been, you know, fighting in a war for some king. And you would have never even gotten to grab a tip my lord which never fucking happens but she had like an older sister or something that was like in the same location or at the party or whatever

and and and yeah they acted like I was a predator for going for kissing her one year younger than me and that's that's fair game, I thought. Under the shirt or over the shirt? Between the shirt and the bra. Safe.

Okay. See, we're getting dangerously close to a world, and some people already live there, where men are just supposed to be able to not only read women's minds with this, but we're supposed to be able to read in an anticipatory manner as to how they'll feel about this 20 years from now apparently they're like uh you know talking to

their husband at some point and and her husband's like so you have a lot of sexual partners before me and they're like oh just like 60 and then he's like you whore and she's like well only like three of them weren't rape he's like well that's it that salvages a little bit of my honor like i don't know it's just a silly reality we're like and i don't and most people don't live in this reality either it's like i feel like a smaller segment of like hyper feminist like hyper leftist type not so many things are that way because otherwise every precinct in the country would be packed full of rapists but like most women know that So many things are that way. Can I ask a Tinder question for either of you? Both of you?

You're on Tinder. You hook up. She's coming to your house, right? You're going to Netflix and chill or whatever. Has she already consented? Is this a slam dunk? Or is there a chance that she actually wants to watch Netflix? Like, where are we on the spectrum? It's just another thing where you play it by ear.

I'm sure Kyle will bolster this. Like, when they show up, it's not like a prostitute. It's a girl who's coming on like a... And so, like, you'll come over and hang out. And, you know, if you don't feel a click, or you don't feel like anything is moving forward, like, just make out and then that might Be it because you don't neither one of you feels like it should move forward But you know you just read it by the moment and more often than not like women have 50,000 matches on here the hottest guy in human history doesn't have as many matches on this as Rosie O'Donnell

Because there are just so many men who will just... I have to believe you're exaggerating. At least a little on that spectrum. Rosie O'Donnell, have you seen her? Do you know what she looks like? Some of these bitches, man. They're enormous. And I guarantee they get whatever they're looking for for the most part.

But you just play it by ear. As with any kind of encounter. Like, if you read, oh, she's pulled back a little bit. She's not comfortable with that. Okay, that's fine. We'll just make out and then watch this. Or, oh, wow, she's acting very aggressive and giving a lot of signs. I guess she made up her mind, I'm going to get some dick,

and I'm going to go tell my girlfriends about it later. She just undid her belt buckle. I like my chances. She just had too much cheese. I want her to undo my belt buckle. She's just loosening it up a little so she can have some more provolone. Be double sure. See if she

undoes your belt buckle. That's what I've been doing. I've been texting Netflix and cheese and they assume it's a typo, but it's really just a cheese board. And Netflix. Anyway. Play it by ear?

Yeah, absolutely. Although, it's rare that someone comes over and then... It depends on the talk that's taking place before she comes over like if it's a really spur of the moment thing and she's just like yeah i'll come over sure let's meet then i you know it's it's up in there a little bit but if you've really already laid stuff out and and

discuss scenarios and and explain that you are a level four not tire and that you know you you get your eagle scout badge at this point you know she she's probably dtf and that, you know, you, you could get your Eagle scout badge at this point. You know, she, she's probably DTF and, and you know, you're going to quickly, the Netflix is in my bedroom anyway. Right.

So we have to get, you know, we have to get a bed to even watch the Netflix. Good move. Taylor, you've got to remove televisions from non bedrooms. Ah, see that.

I guess you're right. I need to only put it. See like, uh, like i've had it where it was so forward that like i was going too slow where i was like hey you want to have a drink or something just like being polite like when the fucking construction guy comes in to fix something i'll be like you know you want to water something but obviously i was like hey you want a beer or something and and she was like is that really what you want to do i was like well i guess not and so we just went right into the bedroom and got going i was like wow

what an expeditious industrious and i think intelligent i i pictured taylor's television or kyle's doesn't matter uh in like the sex room like you close it and they're on the back of the door there's like whips and bondage and a gimp suit and something else and and there's a television there with two sex swings just hanging from the ceilings swaying to and fro we're gonna swing well you know if what he ever goes back to single life first of all i'll need a touch up here's something for you don't call it the sex room. Just call it the bedroom. Because even if that girl who had just tried to initiate it in my bedroom more quickly, if I'd said, all right, let's make our way to the sex room, she'd be like, I've got to fucking go because there's other women tied up under the bed in there.

There's no bed, just a pair of swings. Just a pair of swings. And Kyle's not picturing. You have to push me. It's a high risk game of sex kind of like those stress relief balls it broke I told you

second swing it broke that's funny new topic I was just going to go on to this Get out of the house. That's funny. New topic? Oh, go ahead. I was just going to go on to this mom shoots toddler to death thing. So here's – I said there was more to the story. Well, I'm sure the toddler was asking for it.

But here's the story. It's on Fox News. I look at a lot of Fox lately because I want to see every side of the story. Anyway. She's cute. Yeah, well, her before picture is cute. She was cute. So do you see those marks on her neck?

Let me show other people too. Is that where the toddler attacked her? She shot the toddler and then tried to commit suicide with a knife, but she was not successful. I really feel like she wasn't committed to the suicide. You know, she had a gun right there, right? She could have ended her own life. Instead, she just scratched up her neck a bit,

called it good. That's true. So is that the before picture of her? The before is on the left. Unless she's a quick killer. Unless she did prison Makeover Edition. Yeah, she was not going hard in the paint with that knife to try and kill herself. Like, if you're crazy enough to shoot your own two-year-old boy to death,

then you're crazy enough to feign a suicide attempt in anticipation of trying to get off on a mental disorder. Hang on a minute. All right, so here's just me imagining this. If she used to look like the picture on the left, and then in the last two years of just having a toddler, she's basically become one of the faces of meth. I could understand putting the kid down, right? Because she used to be very cute.

I used to date a girl and kind of know a girl that looked a lot better than the picture on the left, but still, the picture on the left is very cute. Very cute. I mean, you're comparing the best picture they have of her, like a nice makeup kind of LinkedIn professional photo with the right one, which is probably like a couple hours after she linked in professional photo with the right one which is probably like a couple hours after she stabbed herself in the neck yeah and and killed a child and she doesn't

have makeup on there she didn't take the time to gussy herself up before she murdered her child she really should have here's where i am on this i think on the right if she gussied herself up she's actually prettier i think she lost a little weight she's thinner she has better bone structure uh-huh yeah look at the chubby cheek she has on the left and on the right you're outrageous there's not a chubby cheek at all yeah that woman on the left like she's hot on tinder and then she shows up and you're like ah yeah yeah you'd look better 15 lower oh you're so you're so wrong about this this is she's got nice let's all square up though i would fuck either one of them even with the scars on her neck i'm not i mean i'm not saying

i'll do it in the same room as the child i'm just saying that you know give her a week of cool down time a little healing i i would yeah and you would too yeah you need to i know if there's a gun at the bedside that's the side you take actually no she would be the perfect excuse to actually break out some body equipment to be like all right we're keeping you away from anything sharp because we've already learned i don't trust you yeah yeah that man does she give a reason for for for shooting the article is really thin and basically she shot the kid the kid was dead and they found her all cut up and stuff because they were self-inflicted knife wounds. Then the rest of it is like, I can't believe she did it. I don't know what would motivate her.

I don't understand how a mother could do it. You hear about it. Oh, come on. We all understand. You can look at those pictures and I think you get painted a very clear picture of why she did this. That child was ruining her. That child was ruining her like a fucking meth addiction. It's clear. Look.

I bet she was addicted to meth. And that may have led her to shoot her child. Because the kid just wouldn't stop crying. And she was trying to, you know, dig a hole in the yard. And, Tucker! Tucker! You know. She used to be very nice looking

and this child had stolen that from her. She's only 26, Taylor. Keep that in mind. That's a 26, Taylor. Keep that in mind. That's a 26-year-old girl. Yeah. She looks 38. 38? No, she doesn't.

Although I'd take 32 if you told me. I definitely look younger than her in that right photo, definitely. I don't have any makeup on either. Right? Yeah, my skin's definitely better. But you're 26. Yeah i see you in slow yeah uh her hair's just a mess yeah she hasn't had time to color it or or like really even properly wash it for days that's all i think it is just not washed yeah because of that fucking child see this is this is it all comes full circle

this is why you want a pro choice young lady who who has seen pictures like this this is this is the faces of meth for early pregnancy that's what this is this is they need to put this picture on a billboard and be like abort abort? Question mark? This is a clear cut. Isn't that literally a tenth trimester that you're advocating abortion for that? It was a toddler. I think he's into the thirties. She's like, no fucking...

Until the words come out, you're allowed to kill the kid. Based on this girl's opinion. No. But who knows? Maybe that's where the pro-choice movement's headed all the way up to five 24 right so there's four trimesters in the i'm sorry the key was two 24 months so there's four trimesters in a year so like eight nine ten eleven eight plus three yeah 11th trimester yeah you were about right wow close yeah you'd think i've thought about killing babies after birth with that kind of

quick math i it's got to be either drugs or mental illness because like how rare is it that a mother just shoots her kid to death right and meth usually they just drive them in a car into a lake right Right? And meth is- Usually they just drive them in a car into a lake, right? Yeah, okay. Or in the bathtub. Lots of moms kill their children. Yeah, or SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Also known as, shut the fuck up, syndrome! God, I'm gonna shake ya!

Ah, that's Shaken Baby Syndrome, yeah. Ah, SBS. Yeah. But that leads quickly to sudden infidel death syndrome in most situations. As you rattle that little avocado brain back and forth on the soft skull. I wonder how many SIDS cases are murdering parents. 85. I bet more than we thought.

Not more than Kyle thought at 90%. I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, more than I thought. Not more than Kyle thinks. I mean, maybe like 10%, 5%. It depends. You know, it's hard to say. Like if the parents have...

Oh, we lost. I'm trying to find some sudden infant death syndrome death syndrome oh did you lose me uh just for a moment you're slowed down a little moving i'll shut up for a sec no actually you're perfect you're good now you've already come back so i'm trying to have more topics i i pay so much attention to politics that i have to actively work, like, not to bring it to the show as much as I'm inclined to. But it does look like a tax bill is getting passed today. There are parts of it I like, parts of it I don't. I don't know if people hear about that.

I like the vast majority of it. I don't like how it has no plan in there to deal with spending. But I guess that would be like a spending plan later because it's like, if you're going to decrease taxes for everyone, you kind of got to decrease spending. And the big things

there are Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, and military. Most conservatives are like, oh no, we can cut it all with the military! But it's getting out of control, guys. We got to which most conservatives are like oh no we can cut it all with the military but like like well it is getting out of control guys like we gotta you know call that spending as well like that's i think two-thirds of our budget is medicare medicaid and social security but of that remaining third military's got to be a lot a lot military was just over half now i could be wrong

and i don't think so. I don't think it's that high. Because I know the majority of our federal budget goes to entitlements and Medicare, Medicaid. But, yeah, I like what I've read about the tax bill. It lowers taxes for 80% of people. Only high-income, like very high income people are kind of getting stung with it. And even then,

some of them aren't, depending on how they make their money. The big win with it is lowering the corporate tax rate to 21% from 35%, which makes us suddenly like instantly more competitive with Europe,

which is great. That is the big win. Yeah. I guess we'll talk about it a little bit. Yeah, we don't have to. The deal is this. The United States, they keep saying we have the highest corporate taxes.

We don't. We have the fourth highest corporate taxes, which still not where you want to be. And I've seen a lot of this up close when I worked at Cisco. I actually worked on a project where they took our point of sale system and moved it outside of America so that we could avoid American taxes. Cisco wanted to expand in America and we borrowed money. Cisco had like 40 billion in cash with a B, that's a lot. And they took out like whatever, a $20 million loan in America because they didn't want to repatriate that money. They didn't want to take that money from somewhere in Europe or what have you and bring it to America because they ended up to pay taxes on it.

This is what's happening. Apple, Cisco, these giant companies have billions and billions, collectively trillions of dollars outside of America so that they can avoid US taxes. And that just makes it a little more appealing to grow outside of America because that's where the cash is. If you try to do it inside, then you have to pay tax on that money. It's too much. And then there's corporate inversions.

Maybe people have heard that term, but some tiny little 30-person company will buy train air conditioners. I'm pulling out examples out of my head. Milwaukee Tools or what have you. And now their headquarters is over in Ireland, where the taxes are low. And they just do this to avoid US taxes. America is a great place to do business.

There's a tremendous amount of wealth here. But when companies are shipping their headquarters outside of America just to skip out on taxes, there might be something wrong with your tax system. So I think it's good that they got the corporate taxes back in line. The caps on mortgage deductions and state and local taxes I think is pretty much immoral.

Like I don't like that. This is the first time I feel like people are, okay, you become president, right? And even though only half of the country voted for you, you're president of the entire country, right? Obama did that, Bush did that. Every president in my lifetime, once they got in, they're like, look, I'm gonna represent all of you.

But this tax code has stuff in it that really fucks over a couple of blue states, the ones that are expensive to live in, like New York and California. And they're like, well, fuck, they're not voting for me anyway, so they can suck a dick. And I don't like that in a tax policy. So I feel like it's wrong. And by the

way, these are the giver states, New York, New Jersey, California. They pay a lot more in taxes than they get in return in the road dollars and whatever. The taker states are usually the red ones like Oklahoma and Kentucky and stuff like that. They also have low state taxes and low housing prices. So it's kind of screwing over the producers, the givers of taxes, and handing it to the red states. I don't like the argument of the blue giver, red taker thing because those areas that do need assistance in red states are blue areas. It's the cities that need that federal

assistance overwhelmingly. Like Missouri. The only two areas in this entire state that get a lot of assistance are St. Louis because it's run like a shithole and to a much, much lesser extent Kansas City because Kansas City is run much, much better. Anywhere there's farming, right?

Oh, and subsidies there. Yeah, I don't enjoy that either. Definitely don't like that. Anywhere there's farming right uh oh and subsidies there yeah i don't enjoy that either definitely don't like that uh i don't like anywhere there's no corn subsidies any well i mean the highway thing doesn't really make sense as as some sort of subsidy like that that is a federal thing like federal does pay for roads what i'm saying you know they pay but no no it's mostly state that pays for roads throughout the state and then federal assists on interstates, right? Yeah, that is true. Okay, that's what I thought.

So, for example, this could be out of date. This used to be true. They decide how much the federal government pays towards maintenance on interstate by mile, right? Which maybe at first blush, that sounds fair. But then you realize places like Michigan and New York and Ohio have way more wear because their weather sucks. Then like Oklahoma. You lay down road and 20 years later that road is still awesome. In Michigan... Unless a hurricane

or a hurricane, it's a tornado. Okay, that's true. But in Michigan you lay down road, you plow it for the next 20 years and it's an absolute nightmare. And so it's almost like look, I still lie. Anyway, now we're getting deep into it.

But I don't I feel like they screwed over blue states because fuck them. And I haven't seen that before. So it's something I don't like. OK, the only ones I've seen where they get fucked is with that mortgage deduction thing. And that's only in houses that cost more than 750 grand. I think they raise that. Yeah, it used to be there was no mortgage. But by the final, the first that's going to houses that cost more than 750 grand i think they raise that yeah it used to be there was no mortgage but by the final the version that's going to pass you're right it's 750 and by the way i think that's 750 in loan right so how big a house are you buying if you're borrowing 750 right like you say 800 000 house yeah but hopefully that's not your first home

right like you've probably traded up a couple of times. You've got, you know, more than 50 grand to put down when you're getting into that thing, right? Rush Limbaugh was talking about this. He's like, what have you got a $2 million home? Just like, fuck you, Rush. Get out of here. That was funny, though, when I saw like Feinstein or some Democratic senator who was like, this tax is horrible for poor people. Also, you can't deduct your million-dollar homes.

It was like, who the fuck are you talking to? There's an argument to be made. In places like California, a million-dollar home is not amazing. Near Silicon Valley, I know what they look like. But whatever. There are parts of the tax bill i like parts i don't like and uh and as far as uh like the blue state contributions like i believe they count those contributions before as far as like personal income tax they count that prior to uh the money the federal government gives back to you. Because California has, they pay a fuck ton in taxes,

but they also have the highest deductions across, if anywhere in the country. And so they set these rules where I get to pay a ton of taxes for this and then the other thing, but you're also allowed to deduct a much higher percentage than you are in a red state. Because there just is a lot more loopholes for you to do it there. I'll have to

look up and find exactly the numbers. In federal taxes though, we're talking about the same thing, right? They all play by the same rules at the federal level. Oh, no. At the state level, though, I'm talking about. There's more deductions. Yeah, there's way more state deductions in California, and those deductions are often kind of subsidized in a roundabout way

by the federal government giving money back. So they say, you need to pay a fuck ton of taxes, and then they go get an accountant who is man being an accountant there must be dope and then they get all the bitches you know what no one cleans up on tinder like those bad boys cpas i was gonna say i was oh i i matched with a girl who uh was a compute this is a good question this is a better topic please carry on she's She's a computer. She's a computer scientist. What the fuck is she? Something with computers. Something with computers at least.

A software engineer. Okay. A software engineer. And I don't know anything about that. What is a funny joke or a pun or something that a software engineer would get? And then I'll internalize that and decide if I want to use it. I need a minute. Maybe something about Python.

Isn't Python a language? And then maybe you could reference your muscles somehow? Oh, I was going a different direction with that. Okay, yeah. Python is a language that's using the web a lot. I need to think. Gosh, I don't have a pun right off the top of my head. I'm not a Tinder all-star like you guys. But you know lot. I need to think. Gosh, I don't have a pun right off the top of my head. I'm not a Tinder all-star

like you guys. But you know computers. I do. Similar to that. I'm trying to come... I was going with a database joke, but I'm coming up empty. Well, if you think of one,

Skype me later and I'll give it a go. Anyway. Yeah, I bet she's going to be... If I do end up dating or going on a date with that girl there's something less intimidating about pretty girls who are into stuff like that because you know that there's something goofy about them you know like there's gonna be something eccentric uh how old is she yes uh 22 could this be taylor's next girlfriend i know i know i jump way ahead of where i'm supposed to

way ahead we haven't even met up yet i know i know look look i self-admitted that i'm with you but you said recently that you were kind of shifting the target from one night stands to, you know, someone you actually have an emotional relationship with. And is that in your line of thinking? Like, hey, this one could be better or longer, I should say? Kyle, asshole. I wasn't sure it was true. Like, I've definitely in the last month or so, like really up to the echelon of,

of the swiping of, of really trying to, to not be like, okay, well this Kyle, you're such a cunt doing the, the endearing nod at me. It's not true.

You don't know what you're talking about. Like a couple, like when I first started it, it was bananas. Just yeah. It's all pink on the inside, baby. Yeah. Let's get this going. But like, I, I, when I first started it, it was fucking bananas. Just, yeah, it's all pink on the inside, baby. Yeah, let's get this going.

But, like, I really kind of want to find, like, a really, really cute 21, 22, 23-year-old that would be fun to date. And if, like, there's just something in my head that's telling me. Someone who's that into, like, software engineering, who's, like, a cute girl as well, or computer science or whatever whatever who's a cute girl like she's she's gonna be a little goofy because most cute girls no no i'm saying that's good yeah it's good it means that she's a little eccentric like she'll be kind of fun mate i guarantee i can get this bitch playing magic off after the first day i'm excited about this one i am because at first when you were saying she's a little bit goofy, a little bit off, a little bit, I interpreted it as imperfect. Like, she's a little flawed in some way. But that's not what you're saying.

It's almost an endearing. No, she'll just be more down to, like, nerdy shit. Like, so she'll be cool to play magic or she'll be cool to, you know, do some other goofy strategy game that I have. Like, that's usually you could have those his and her battle stations on reddit there's karma in this for you wow i need to get on that train then i'll buy her a desktop and we'll sit up next to each other and oh you think she doesn't have a desktop that does your thinking going into this that's true i don't even have to buy her a desktop she should she can build me a desktop she probably could that's way better if you could date a girl in any profession based on the utility to you and you can't say prostitute kyle i like the I was going to say lawyer.

That's good, Kyle. I like that. Gloria, I'll read your eyes. Fuck it, I'll date Mueller. Just get me out of this. That's good. Who has a lawyer that doesn't bend them over Do you want to change that answer Because that's a really good one for you Yeah that's great

I like that one You know what I think I showed my age Because my first thought was like Nurse Pretty soon I'm going to need Someone to take care of me You know what I'd like to have more Because I don't think I'm going to need someone to take care of me you know what I'd like to have more because I don't think I'm quite at nurse stage yet

how about a physical trainer what if she was just down that's a good one because she's going to be in great shape that's a double play right there because you could have some disgusting nurse they're in the medical field but that doesn't mean they're looking out for themselves because you could have some disgusting nurse. They're in the medical field, but that doesn't mean they're looking out for themselves when they go to get those $5 footlongs every day

down at the kitchen. The only issue with a physical trainer that doesn't fit with me, I'm a jealous man. I don't want her earning a living at the gym in yoga pants every day. Surrounded by buff guys. A, she's like a private trainer. Maybe she only works with ladies. Maybe you could impose that upon her and ruin her career. Right?

I was thinking to myself, like, if I dated a stripper, I'd need her to stop stripping right away. And then it's like, oh, that's – but there's no overlap. Like, as soon as we start dating, you've got to ditch that job. I can't date a stripper. Maybe this makes me a chauvinist bigot, but if a woman has made it to stripping, my interest is gone already. Oh, Jesus. Like –

You don't pick up women at the strip joint? No. No, I would not want to date a stripper. Like it would feel like you were, I don't know, reading one of those books at the library that's so old. You're like, how many people have read this? It doesn't even close on its own. It's just gaping.

It's a gaping copy of Moby Dick. Everybody has had their hands all over. I don't know. I wouldn't want that. The personal trainer one, that may be even better than the attorney one. Because that is a guarantee. And I would be okay with her training men as long as it's in public and they're not, like, fucking, you know, training in some dude's bedroom at his house. Like, as long as it's a reputable organization.

I don't give a fuck. Of course you're going to have to train men, too. I don't know why you'd want a female trainer as a man. Because I feel like a man would know more about how you want to build your body, but whatever. If she's making money, let her do it. Ten years from then, she's going to be in spectacular shape, and if you ever start

to get fat, she'll let you know it. Through like, probably not even roundabout passive-aggressive shit that you'd usually get. She'll bring out the calipers and be like, look at this. Let me squeeze the inside of your thighs with this. What are you doing? You big fat fuck.

I can tell. When we were having sex last night, you were just doughy. You were just doughy, man. You know what, Taylor? Come on. We're going to go stand in front of the mirror, and you're going to yell at yourself, and I'm going to scream in front of Edrin. Physical training is good. So this is – people make fun of Pence for this line of thinking or what have you but i i feel

like a part of relationships staying monogamous and working out and stuff is not just putting ungodly temptation all over it there's a reason that so many hollywood celebrities don't work out because people are throwing themselves at them all the time and they travel for their stuff and you just put a like a hot guy celebrity rich famous and have women throwing themselves at them in these far away and it's a recipe for trouble so you have a hot woman in yoga pants doing you know like showing a guy how to lift his elbows or whatever and a hundred percent of those people are thinking about fucking her and i just worry yeah i would be jealous i mean i would buy maybe just get her like home yeah no don't you go out no it sounds crazy right? But just traveling salesmen have a lot of divorces and they cheat a lot. But that job, like, it's something that, get a good IT man.

Be nothing but stinky Indian dudes all around. Get a good IT man. That's not what I want, you know. Because eventually she'll start to get accustomed to the smell of those spices and she'll inevitably, you know, be attracted to it somehow. Then I'll have to wear cumin all over my neck when I go out. No. So what was your useful profession? Did you have one in your head, Taylor? Uh, for the exact opposite reason of why, uh, uh, personal trainer is so good. I was initially thinking, but only for a couple seconds, like Professional Chef.

I had that in my head. That would be good, but then I was like, oh no, she will eventually get fat. Like, how many non, name me one Professional Chef other than Rachel Ray, who's female, who didn't become a monster. That Italian chick whose name I can't pronounce. I haven't heard of her, so I don't count it.

You only haven't heard of her because her name's so difficult to pronounce. Let me find... Oh, she's so fucking hot. Isabella Mario. And I'm looking at Rachel Ray 2017, because I don't... She's fat. she doesn't oh is she fat now point proven dude yeah yeah i i 51 i mean really i didn't mean to be so harsh

on a 51 year old is that her actual age i i believe so this is my favorite uh chef all right she's a little heavy now, but she's 51. That's fine. She's had a lot of food. Oh. I don't think she probably doesn't cook food that's that great. She does. She's incredible.

She's always got cleavage, and she's got perfect teeth and these big eyes. She's just like, yeah, the food is very good. It's just cleavage. It's wonderful. For her, she could serve me a burnt peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I would pull it down happily and be like, wow, honey, this is great. I thought we were talking about Rachel Ray for a second. We're talking about this woman. She is beautiful. Yeah, she is. She is my favorite. Here's another picture. What? Did you find her name yet or just images uh her name's too hard to pronounce you don't you don't need that

yeah no that she is 10 yeah i literally googled hot italian chef google is amazing. Ever Google song lyrics? Oh, yeah. You'll get it right away. But what gets me is the one – okay, Kid Rock has a song. I don't even know the name of it. But if you Google song that goes bom-pa-da-dom-pa-dom-pa-dom, they'll be like, oh, yeah, you mean this one. And I'm like, how did you know that?

I'm going to have to start disagreeing with this whole line of thinking. Look at the hottest women of Food Network here. Look at this whole list of really hot chicks on the Food Network. But you can Google hottest women of firefighting or construction or accountants, and they'd be hot, right? But these are all chefs. Anybody could be a fucking fireman. Might be harder for girls.

Except for Wings. Oh, Jesus. Was fireman his thing that he wanted to be? It was. It's his dream, yeah. Wait, who wanted to be a fireman? Wings wants to be a fireman very badly uh wow rachel ray is never too late is loving that hot dog yeah her name is giada de larentis

that's the one that i was linking earlier i mean all of these women are good looking but I mean, all of these women are good looking, but who's... There's 10 fat ones for every one of these. I'm with Taylor. I think you're really playing with fire if you're getting a cook. Yeah, because eventually she's going to get to the age where, first of all, you're going to let yourself go because you're going to be eating delicious food all the time. For every pound you gain, she's going to feel comfortable gaining a couple. And then before you know it, you're just a couple of fat, ugly folks who eat

a lot about cheese. Oh, yeah. She'd be interesting with cheese talk. She'd put a real nice cheese board together for you. That would be a good one. Personal trainer seems like it's going to be hard to beat because you get a benefit and she gets a benefit,

which is a double benefit for you because she looks better. Mechanic. I don't want to derail the topic, but I just want to come back to this. Taylor said two-thirds of national spending goes to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, and that was correct. Nice. Aha. Look at that.

There's one in my column. Correct! Yeah. I don't know where... I read somewhere like 54% of it goes to military. And they must have been like... To make that true, it would have to be like 54% of the part that's not those is military. Because then it becomes about right. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway. By that point, like, you're looking at a pie graph that, like, doesn't really make sense. But someone who likes that stat is like, yep, mine made up. Yeah. Because military is spending about 15%. So it is a little more than half of the remaining third. But something really misled me. My mistake.

Oh, I have a good question for you oh yeah we started to play what body part or parts are you most uh insecure about it's changed uh yeah it used to be my nose uh that was the thing that was really on my head i thought it was too big and stuff. Since then, I've seen a lot of big noses where it's like, that's not a death sentence. It's a proud nose. It's fine.

I don't think your nose is that big. It's been broken a couple times. I'm genetically more handsome than this. Just not physically. Not physically. You should go get that $3,000 operation You'd be super secure You'd get a Tom Cruise nose going

My nose doesn't He had a big surgery But yeah the nose doesn't bother me I was going to say teeth Because I've got the crooked bottom teeth But even that I don't love it but I've grown accustomed to it My neck

You can't see it on but I've grown accustomed to it. My neck. You can't see it on camera, really. But in real life, from the wrong angle, it's a little loose. And it's improved since I lost 20-some pounds. But it's probably my most insecure area. That makes sense. Especially with your age, where you start to notice that shit more. And you're like, this wasn't even something I knew I had to worry about.

My father's is really bad, so I see my future. And he's also not really fat or anything. It's just a way that we age. It gets loose in our neck. You can always nip-tuck that. Maybe. Maybe. One time, I don't think I ever talked about it on the show. I found this, like, it's not Botoxox but think of it as something else it might have

started with a k but uh collagen no that's a c that's a c anyway they inject it and it's supposed to like tighten that area and it's like permanent and fat dissolves from it and i was like that sounds like a scam i'm gonna google this and it passed google muster you know like the fda has approved it for this purpose and it's supposed to be effective and all that stuff so i went and i got it and one it hurt more than i thought uh it was a lot of injections like it was one session but call it 40 injections. Jesus Christ. 45 maybe.

Was Jackie doing these injections? No. This is an at-home thing? It was a lady who also did Botox. She does all these. A professional. What's a skin injection? A subcutaneous?

Yes. Okay. So it was a tiny needle and a thin injection and uh there were 15 needles each one that you put like a third here a third there a third there next needle and uh i was like all right needles hurt but whatevs they hurt like more than you'd guess and the stuff going in burns and there's 45 of them and it takes like 15 minutes of this fucking torture it's probably like getting a neck tattoo like in terms of discomfort i can feel the fat burning and then it was swollen right so now my now it's swollen and a little black and blue

there was a show where i wore neck makeup so not makeup, so it just toned it down an edge. And I'm like, and then it starts getting better, and I'm like, is it just the swelling going away? Or is my neck actually, I can't tell if it's improved, because on a scale of one to 10, they made me from like a seven to a five, and now I'm headed back to where I was or whatever the numbers are and it feels like improvement

but I don't know like you fucked it up before it got better and in the end and it wasn't cheap it was like $1200 or something and I was supposed to have like 3 sessions or something and after the first one

I thought did nothing, uh, that I stopped there. And it turns out losing weight was a way better way to handle it than to pay $1,200 to some woman. And, uh, uh,

she also read your palm, but dude, so did she have a cart? He old, you know, her, her smile. And when she taught, Did she have a cart? Ye olde. Her smile and when she talked, it was clear she used too much Botox on her upper lip area.

It just didn't instill a lot of confidence. Here's a woman. This is what's ever left over. Guaranteed to have AIDS. I just grabbed people's needles from where i'm looking great yeah but like so when she talked her upper lip was just it didn't move enough it wasn't natural it was just numbed and and yeah paradise yeah exactly what you're talking about do you okay and bill burr says now she just looks like a young lizard. She didn't look good.

And I've always said this with plastic surgery or even this Botox lady. You can't just compare her to like a version of her that moves well or whatever. You have to compare her to the imaginary one that didn't have it. You know, like to me, I saw her upper lip and it looked weird. And she probably would have looked better even if it was aged a bit but moving naturally. But, you know, they know they say oh look at this one with plastic surgery what a mess she is yeah you know she's 65 and the fact is she looks like a weird 40 year old she just looked like a 40 year old with probably fetal alcohol syndrome or actually more accurately a little bells pals yes ity on both sides of the face. I was going to go there, yeah.

And yeah, so it's like weird 40-year-olds, 65-year-olds. I need to see both to tell you which one's better. I like it. I like a weird 40-year-old. I'm all about some plastic surgery. I hooked up with this 40-something-year-old lady one time, and she just had enormous fake tits. And it was like, ah, these are much better than they would have normally been. These are excellent.

These are excellent. And she already had big boobs, so you could tell this was not the ones that are like you touch them and you feel like the implant is right below the skin and that if you poked them with a pin, it would literally start squirting saline.

Is it saline? I always pictured it as like a joked them with a pen, it would literally start squirting saline. Is it saline? I always pictured it as, like, a jello or, like, a something denser. It used to be silicone, I think. So, it is silicone again. So, they started off with silicone and then women's breast implants started leaking and poisoning

them with silicone. And so, then they went to saline and they made that the industry standard. And now, they're going back to silicone as the technology has advanced and they no longer leak let's make the tit bags thicker oh dr johnson who would have thought of that you're in line for the nobel what obama got one didn't do shit yeah you're good so kyle which which part which part do you dislike? I don't know.

Pick a part. My ears are very small. Are they? Let me gawk at them. Some baby back bitch ears. Not to give you a... I wish my hands didn't do this thing. That's weird.

The tops of your feet are quite hairy. That's where I would have gone. See, that's a misconception. Taylor and I have discussed this at length. You're completely wrong about this. His feet are just as hairy, if not hairier. Look at this, people. Hang on, I'm trying to give you a good show here.

We're not seeing it. I know you're not. I'm trying to give you a good show here. We're not seeing you. I know you're not. I'm switching feet. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought that you finished. I'm giving you foot number two. I'm trying to.

The fact that I can't. I mean, there's just not a lot of hair there. This is difficult to put on this show. Actually, they were hairier in my memory. In your memory, I think you've built them up to like proto-Baggins level. Like, I'm about to climb the

climb Mount Doom or something. He does have a lot of hair on the top of his toes, but it is not the freakish hair that I thought it was. And I do trim it now sometimes too. Like, I'll take my beard trimmer and just put it on point four. It is an easily solved problem, isn't it?

Yeah, very easy. Because when I pull my socks on, when I pull my socks on, it pulls the hairs backwards. And so after an entire day of wearing socks and shoes, it sort of aches and gets really painful

So so I've taken to trimming them down to nothing. Yeah. Yeah tight under armor shirts All my chest hair is like sticking out through the leg like all my stomach and it's not a good look So I always wear the loose ones Oh but What if somebody walked up and plucked one like and you one like you're out and about and someone plucked a hair and like made you instantly

self-conscious about the fact that there's hair sticking through the shirt? That would really piss me off. What if a date did that? It'd be the end of the date. What if she didn't? No, no, no. Imagine how embarrassing this would be. Oh, you got a little tag or something right here.

And you just had to go, oh yeah, thanks for getting it. You got it at the root. You got a little thread hanging out here. Thank you for getting it. Oh, you got a bunch. And you just have to

take it, pretending like she's not plucking all the hair out of your chest. If she hadn't figured it out after one, then that would be a nice weather vane that this date wasn't going to go anywhere. It's not very bright. A lot of tags on this shirt. In the front, in the chest area. Wow.

Before we wrap, I want to hear Taylor's insecurity area. It's self-imposed, but there's nothing else that even comes close. My fingernails. Like, I pick at my fingernails, like, when I get anxious.

I don't even realize I'm doing it a lot of the time, but I'll, like, tear them off, and, like, so they're all short and shitty. Like, if I kept it at, like, you know how Frodo's fingers look in Lord of the Rings? Yes. They don't look like that.

I don't know what the fuck he's doing getting them that low, but none of my fingernails... I can't open packages of cheese that are sealed. I can't open Ziploc bags very well. Yeah, see, that's what I want. I want normal people fingernails. My fingernails are embarrassing. They're a little long right now like i go out

that's the only thing that like i go out of my way to hide sometimes like when i'm in public like i'll hold my hands away that like doesn't show that i like am a nail picker like it is probably not a huge deal because i never notice other people's nails unless like they're really gross or like really. I guess other people don't notice nails that are really nice, but I'll be like, God, how does that guy resist not tearing his nails off? They get stressed out like, got lucky fuck, I bet he can open packages of chips

no problem. I don't know what it is. It just is humiliating to me. Having shitty weak person fingernails where you can't stop. I don't know why i've done it ever since i was a kid like i i will be totally absent-minded and realize you know five minutes later like oh shit well i just i just tore off you know a centimeter or three of my fingernails

so i'm gonna look like a fucking you know idiot for the next few days every time somebody sees me sign something i used to bite mine as a kid. I used to bite them and tear them and stuff, and sometimes I would tear them into the quick, and it would be painful and stuff, and somehow I broke myself of that habit. The thing is, mine grow very quickly. I trimmed my nails three days ago to the point where

there's no white showing at the tips, and now there's white showing at the tips. And I don't like it, because if you're going to be touching, unless you're using the wings method and you're scratching the lower back of the woman, it's not ideal to have these in a dating scenario. We've mocked the wings method,

but are we sure there's nothing to it? I've used the wings method. It works wonderfully up until the point where you go, I learned this from Wings of Redemption. And then they start laughing hysterically and it totally breaks the mood. I've literally done that to two different women. A whole

double handful. Depending on how big the woman is. Two case studies. But I just remember scratching her lower back and like, Oh, that feels nice. And like,

yeah, I learned this from wings. And you can do it the other way too. It doesn't have to be the claw. It can be the, yeah, yeah. You can go back.

That's the only benefit to these. Player like a banjo. I could actively try to scratch when I'm fingering a girl and be uncomfortable. And there's no, nothing's going to happen. Like I can't get it at all. I need like, ah ah it is embarrassing it's like standing at my own counter with like you know how cheese like sargento sliced cheese comes in that thing that you have to peel open it is so aggravating

for me to sit there and be like fuck fuck until eventually i give up, get scissors, cut the entire thing off, and then just grab a slider Ziploc bag with the gallon size and just put the whole thing in there. That's my technique now because I can't get those goddamn things open. I always have a knife on me. Like, always.

I just want... I mean, it's not like the cutting of it that bothers me. It's the fact that, like, after three minutes, I'm like, I've sunk three minutes into this fucking shit. Like, why can't I get this fucking Sargento cheese? get it's like part of my hand i don't know how people live without a multi-tool i use it five times a day it seems it's just always there i can already see on the horizon what's going to be the the thing that takes the place of the fingernails maybe and that's going to be back hair that is going to be like I can see almost by the day. Does your father

have it? Not, like, terrible, but he does have some, like, not like a ton. We have to fight the back hair encroachment. Come on, Taylor. I've tried, like, I have enough like, fuzz just all around, like,

on the back that, like, not like dark hair, you know, but like the fuzzy hair. But the dark hair that I get up here, like, I'll that like like not like dark hair you know but like to go fuzzy hair but the dark hair that i get up here like i'll like be in the mirror and just be like all right i'm gonna shave that and then like i look at it i'm like fuck but now i've shaved all the dark hair in that area but it also got rid of all the like natural kind of peach fuzz like little hairs that you have and so now there's this surrounding area where there are those peach hairs. And what am I supposed to do now? I can't reach those areas.

You know what has to be done. Waxing? A regular waxing or electrolysis schedule. I'm just going to get electrolysis then. But I'm going to give it until maybe another five years to really see where this goes. I don't want to go in and get lasered all for naught. You don't want to get lasered. lasered off or not. You don't want

lasering. You want the electrolysis. That's what it is, right? I didn't know there was a difference. See, Kyle has expertise in this. Kyle, have you ever done it? No. But you've researched it. I don't know. I just pick things up and I don't ever forget them. That's just the truth.

They take these tweezers that have a wire running out of them connected to a machine and uh they pinch each individual hair and it's it they it sends an electrical electricity into the hair and like burns out the root and then they pluck the hair out and a hair never grows back there and then they do that for each individual hair one at a time doesn't sound painful at all. Quite painful. I mean, as long as it's only a one-time thing,

I would do that. It would be a one-time thing, yeah. Not for me. Yeah, I want to say, like let's say Taylor does it at 26, right? 31-year-old Taylor. There's new hairs that have cropped up, right? Sure, you might continue to grow this back hair,

but they'll never go back in the same spot, I guess is what I was getting at. Oh, good. It's just a constant game of expensive hide-and-seek. Yeah, whack-a-mole. All of my hair follicles. Whack-a-mole for the rest of your life. Let me see how much it costs.

I'm curious. Let's see. Wow, I've still got this Giada chick up here. She's really hot. a, wow, I still got this Giada chick up here. She's really hot. How much does electrolysis cost?

You can get an at-home electrolysis machine? That's just a recipe for disaster. Fun for the whole family. $30 for a 15-minute session. That's not bad. I thought he was going to be somewhere in the woody neck realm.

Like $1,200 and this problem solved. $88 an hour. Yeah. I bet for $88 this is just a solved problem. You need to resist the urge to shave for a month so they have something to work with and then get it done. And then see if you can get them to

do other things too. Like I've seen pornos, well not pornos, but like porn videos where these perverts will like have a hidden camera and they'll go and like get their dick and balls waxed because they're into that and they've got a heart on it. And then like halfway through it when she like goes to get more like wax or whatever, he's like like coming really quickly while she's out of the room to grab something

it's these guys not my kink he's just really getting off on this chick ripping all the hair out of his balls and like as soon as he gets his moment he's like 30 seconds from just coming he's just oh that was great i i saw a always sunny in philadelphia clip on reddit you might have seen it too recently

you know the ski one where they're like we're gonna play a prank on these girls we cut a hole now we can see them all naked in the shower they cut a hole in the wall and they're like that's not a prank that's kind of voyeur like sexual assault no. No, no, no, no. I'm going to get my dick hard and I'm going to put it through the hole. It's great. And they're like, what a hooch. But that literally is the kind of stuff they did in those like 80s ski movies. Yeah, like Porky's. Yes.

Classic prank. Yeah, Porky's. What a degenerate film that was. Yeah. Young Woody saw all those. And they were right next to porn in my head. Yeah. They were on like Skinamax.

Rap? Call it a show? Yeah. Painkiller Nearly, episode 174. I thought it was a good one.