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Dude, that was perfect.
You led the show with it.
Yes.
I'm glad these don't even bother trying to get these monetized.
We got demonetized.
Remember the one where the guy's penis went into the chicken head?
Oh, God.
There's just so many.
Which one?
It was like 57 minutes into the show.
Kyle's like, you got to see this.
You got to see this.
And I didn't know what it was.
I put it on the big screen.
And like a minute later, I realized what I was looking at.
Oh, God.
No, it was where the guy stuck the turkey neck in his foreskin.
What did I say?
You said a dick went into a chicken's mouth.
Now I remember it.
Which is kind of similar.
Yeah, I was on the right track.
Because we were looking at the picture trying to decipher what it was happening until we realized it was a turkey neck with a man's penis somehow forced into what would be the goate or the
esophagus and pushed it around it so he was like yeah oh what a god shockingly you know if i had
a foreskin i I would not...
I would at least, you know, play different games than that.
Imagine if I got infected.
Like, what fun are things in your foreskin than that?
Try to explain that to the doctor when you get the infection.
Inevitably.
Inevitably.
Inevitably.
I want to lead off with this topic.
So, on the last PKN, for people watching this,
so I'm talking about the one that had Adrian Foster,
On the last PKN, for people watching this, I'm talking about the one that had Adrian Foster.
Before that show, Wings had said that Kyle wasn't really useful or helpful in the boot camp.
Kyle didn't do shit.
Kyle didn't do shit.
And then he lists off all the – Kyle didn't do shit.
All he did was make exercise for me, get video for me, edit video for me, do this and this and this.
Build a new shower.
Yeah. So I let him have it hard on the show i went i went merciless full oh yes yes without
mercy without a drop of it oh yeah not a drop to be now i didn't even i'm behind on the youtube
comments forgive me i've been living life away from the screen a little bit. But I did see the subreddit.
And those guys, in my opinion, not pro-Kyle.
No, so you're wrong about this.
So what you're seeing – no, you really are.
I'm listening, I'm listening.
Hey, hey, hey.
I did get Taylor for his little chuckle over there.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought that was toward me.
I watched the video.
I don't know.
Yeah, so I think I've got my finger on the pulse.
And what it seems to me, and what the polls all say, is that about 68% of people liked it.
So when you've got one in three of the subreddit who disagree, of course,
there's going to be quite a few people who who are going to go against what i said
and not really understand it there's there's new fans i saw someone today he's like i don't i
understand why don't we like this wings guy you know he's not he hasn't been here for five years
he doesn't know the whole story so and then the guy made that video which i didn't take that i
think the point of the like hurt for kyle video or whatever was to was to say that hurt people hurt
and he was trying to show that i was hurt and that that's why i was hurting wings but he's playing a
clip of me from five years ago talking about something that happened to me when i was 19 years
old so so it's still fresh in your mind right i interpreted it a little differently and to me it
was more of just a gotcha video, right?
Because he had wings on the thumbnail, and he's like, for Kyle.
And if I get between his ears, Kyle's going to expect to see the video that he asked for.
Because that's what the implication was.
And then when he sees it, I'm going to show him that everybody hurts at one point or another.
And here's an example of kyle's lowest moments
right he pulled the switcheroo i think that's what he was going for that might be what he was going
for i didn't get that from it like i saw it as like you know more just as like fucking with kyle
because obviously the hurt thing the hurt thing is meant uh like obviously to draw kyle in because
he made that specific request. Yeah.
And so Kyle, of course, is supposed to initially sit down and start watching.
And then he sees, you know, I didn't see it as a gotcha because, of course, I saw those clips.
I'm like, Jesus, that was from, like, what, 2010?
Yeah, there's called GD Black Ops. And he's talking about something from 2003 in this or whatever it is.
Like, so I didn't think it was got you.
I thought it was just more kind of fucking with you, kind of like a little bit of a troll.
Yeah, I thought he was trying to show like my – so I had asked to show like some of Wing's lowest moments, and it seemed like he was trying to show like my lowest moments because then he incorporates like stuff like me joking around about being a sociopath or me saying something about fucking people over, which, God, we do five hours of this shit a week.
I have no idea what I was talking about at the time.
But no, I didn't take that as a negative.
I got a chuckle out of it.
I liked it.
And, you know, the full story of that
is like a triumphant story anyway, right?
Like, first of all, like, moving out to Atlanta
and, like, going after that girl,
I mentioned it today, like,
that's where I picked up the Russian accent.
Right. I made dozens of friends out there. I had to really open up socially and and overcome a lot of fears that I had, you know, just going out there all by myself and kind of just doing everything on my own.
It was it was a I was 19, 18 when I started and like 20 when 20 when I quit or whatever.
So it was some of the best, most formative years of my life.
It was awesome.
And I don't regret any of that or think that going after that girl was a bad thing,
even though it didn't work out.
And yeah, I definitely contemplated suicide at the time.
It was just life-shattering, right?
But then in 2012,
I got back with that girl and dated her for three years, you know? So it's a winning story.
And then we broke up and then that was another low moment. Woe is me. But I think the thing that
these guys are missing out on, and they really just proved my point with that video, if you ask me,
they showed my lowest moment, right? But recovered from that right and you certainly don't see me like
and to add to that like the lowest moment uh like you know on discovery channel they'll do like
the little clips of like and this is the paleo scene era and then way back here is this
and that like if you take kyle's clips throughout that it's like oh here's one thing from 2011
oh here's another thing from you know 2009 here's something he's talking about from 05 and so it's
a much larger scope for that guy to go through and like do the hunting to get it whereas with
wings to be fair it's like and here's something from two weeks ago and here's something from
three days before that happened two weeks ago an hour ago ago. Oh, shit. Hang on, this just in.
This just in. Breaking.
I don't know. I thought the main joke was like the hurt
people hurt people. Yeah.
Like saying of like showing that like, well, Kyle
clearly has no qualms hurting people. Let's
siphon through old PKA's
and see what he talks about that's hurting him
as kind of like a joke of like, ah, you know,
catch 22, you must be hurting if you're
making fun. I don't know.
I got a laugh out of it, and I'm going through.
I didn't see the comments on the PKA Reddit right away,
but most of them seem just to think that it's hilarious.
Yeah.
So I looked at every comment.
I think if you go through it, it's weird
because the poll has a much bigger sample size, right?
So I would say it's the more reliable one.
And in that, as Kyle mentioned, about two-thirds of the people thought it was funny and were
on Team Kyle.
But as you look at the number of topics created, it's the un-pappy people who are doing most
of the activity on the subreddit.
Exactly.
The ones who were saying that...
Essentially, it's...
Taylor, I saw this in hockey.
And... Yes! saying that essentially it's i taylor i saw this in hockey and uh yes some little smaller guy littler some smaller guy was hitting a bigger guy the bigger guy like saw it and basically just
dumped him right so my intent is to hip check you you see it and you're like come on let's be
serious and he flops him on his back And the referee called a penalty on the bigger guy.
And the announcers said something that's burned into my head for years now.
He goes, that is a bad call.
That is wrong.
They are penalizing him for being bigger and stronger than your opponent.
You're allowed to be bigger than stronger than your opponent.
You don't have to just let him hit you because he's small.
Take that and apply it to this situation right it's almost like so wings shot out of kyle said i didn't kyle didn't
do anything for his boot camp kyle didn't you know he wasn't there for me he's over his role in this
thing it was really kitty who did it all right and then kyle being bigger and stronger, dumped him on the ice.
Yeah.
Should he be elected?
Is he supposed to lose?
Is he supposed to forfeit this?
I appreciate the support you're giving me here. I think a lot of the negativity is because I went full Dennis Reynolds with it.
And on purpose.
Some people say, oh, look at him.
This is revisionist history.
He's saying this now because there's never written.
I knew when I was doing it.
I was going way over the top.
Like when he's crying and like sobbing and snot's flying, I'm picturing that gif of Jack Nicholson where he's like, yeah, yeah.
Like in my head, like as he's doing it.
Like I know I'm going way too far and being
really sadistic with and that's kind of the point i get a laugh out of that part of it the fact that
i'm going overboard with i definitely went too far with go back and forth with each other a good bit
you know that makes it better but it was and i know your bit during the like when arian was on you know was
i'm gonna be as brutal and mean as fucking horrible as possible and you know you you didn't fail in
that like to woody's comparison like you didn't not only like throw a hip check back you like
took your skate off and like started cutting them and then like like gave him a couple you know
punches to the nose then i saw his family in the audience crying
Broke through the ice threw them a couple haymakers
Part of that whole video was watching
Arian and whoever edited it did a hilarious job where he would zoom in on Arian like out of frame or like covering his face
And what he was just clearly doing like the you too. I'm giving I'm giving the half smile here
And then at one point, I think I just said like,
Jesus, fuck.
Or like just...
That was the fuel to the fire.
At one stage, I hid behind my mic.
When I...
I saw that.
That was fueling it.
See, you guys...
Like that was fueling me so much.
That was like gasoline on a fire.
The more uncomfortable and like...
More awkward you guys felt, the more you cringed the
more it wanted me to like hit it harder right it's like when a guest like like when we casually
mentioned like i don't know fucking a snake right and the guest is like whoa that's outrageous i'm
like oh i'm gonna have fun with you right like we're gonna We're going to show you what it's really all about.
We're going to show you a man getting fucked to death
by a horse. That's what's coming.
And then we're going to lead that into
bottles and men's assholes shattering.
We're going to fuck with you.
So when I saw you guys cringing, I was like,
I've got to keep pushing.
I've got to keep pushing until someone tells me to stop.
And no one did.
Let's interject on this level. Taylor actually did, and you said no. pushing I gotta keep pushing until someone tells me to stop I know yeah I
actually wrote in there because I was like you know can we lay off wings you
like we will not lay off we're gonna continue the montage even had you doing
one of these like we were like ships passing in the night in our PKA careers.
The comments in there.
A lot of people were feeling bad for Arian Foster in that, like, oh, my God, he was so uncomfortable.
You guys had this great guest, and it was this terrible moment.
Dude, he was fine.
He is not scarred.
He slept like a baby.
He's okay. My God, stop
making him out to be this delicate little
flower who couldn't take some
ball busting. We had Martha Stewart
on or something.
We had an NFL player.
That guy was down for everything that we
talked about. We talked about fucking animals.
We talked about getting pussy. We talked about getting pussy.
We talked about God as a sham.
He's there for everything.
I loved it because he expertly participated without tarnishing himself.
There was nowhere in there where he was like, you talk about fucking chickens, but my favorite videos are really fucking roosters because they don't expect it.
He didn't do that.
videos are really fucking roosters because they don't expect it right he didn't do that right
but but he still was able to like laugh along and be engaged with because some guys will be like that's not me saying that i'm you know i'm withdrawn and that you know takes the wind out
of the show's sails he was outstanding he handled it great yeah i thought so too and he was not the
flower they're making him out to be he wasn't't the – what do they call it when you accidentally shoot the wrong guy?
Friendly fire.
Collateral damage.
Friendly fire.
That's not what I'm going for.
You know, like if there's a shootout and then you hit a kid in the crowd.
Good shooting.
Okay.
Well, there it is.
He was not the good shooting victim that they made him out to
be i can't remember the term it will come to me like but like kyle you you just gave that big hip
check back his way now if next game you go out and start beating him up then that crosses into some
some just kind of textbook bullying you need yeah i agree for some aggression to come back again
absolutely the next volley to come in absolutely i'm thinking about buying him a fucking chair to
like blow everybody's mind like like like because that's what that's the latest like like this just
in like uh wings was like on today like they asked him if i had bought him a chair and he's like no
but if you want if he's gonna buy me one tell him i want the dx racer king
or whatever and i was just like how much is this motherfucker do they make a chair in his size
uh it goes up to 450 pounds um and that's close enough right like yeah yeah but yeah it's like a
500 chair it is is that the big one yeah because i it's the big the big boy. I wish that's what it was called.
Because Wings' size comes from his hips, right?
It's his hips, belly area where he's big.
He's not 7 foot tall.
He's not 6'4 either.
That chair goes up.
It says 6'7", 450 pounds.
You see where I'm going with this, right?
If there's a version of a guy that weighs 400 that's too big for the chair,
wings at 400 would be that guy, right?
Because his size comes from his width.
Yeah.
It says recommended user is a weight of less than 300 and a height of less than 6'2".
Why would the height matter on a chair?
You just fucking lower it.
You know what?
The complaint I hear about that chair a lot
is that it doesn't extend far enough toward your knees.
Ah, that makes a lot of sense, yeah.
And I would think, Taylor,
it's about the back of the chair
and how tall that is.
God, there's...
I can't believe people would spend like $600
on a chair like this
i guess that would that would be sitting in a very expensive chair and this chair that i'm
sitting in like we i haven't talked about it at all but this is um what is this called a
a max nomic chair like we're getting a chair sponsor i think um not i think so like i won't this won't this
won't be on no it's not it's not it's a it's completely different uh company um but so i won't
be using this chair i guess whenever i get my sponsored chair i mean we're in the new house now
so i've just kind of got everything jerry rigged up here i ordered a new desk i got that um that
desk that i i texted you guys on Amazon.
I didn't think that was that expensive.
People were asking, like, why is it so crazy?
$400.
I don't know.
It's a gaming.
I don't buy gaming here.
He was like, I'm sitting on a couch here.
I'm sitting on a couch.
Yeah, I mean, it's more than your average, like,
particle board Office Max desk,
but he didn't buy a particle board Office Max desk. Yeah, it's more than your average, like, particle board Office Max desk, but he didn't buy a particle board Office Max desk.
Yeah, it's perfect.
It's got cable management.
It hides, like, the keyboard and mouse cords and everything.
The entire surface of the desk is one enormous mouse pad.
It weighs, like, seven pounds, and it's machine washable.
You can throw it.
That sounds light.
Top of the desk, you throw in the washer.
That's funny.
How annoying is that going to be when you shrink your desktop?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It doesn't even attach.
Kitty, how do I iron a desk?
It's all melted.
It's going to have all this food between like.
On the Wings thing, like I think people have to understand like Wings has very thick skin.
And that's not a jab.
I would have said blubber, if it were.
I saw you make the face.
No, I don't think of him as thick skin.
He absolutely does have thick skin.
All right, look, here's my opinion on Wings.
Most, the majority of those, like, crazy breakdowns and controller things he does, he understands
the game. He knows that
people come for that. He knows that he's not
an MLG gamer.
The fascination is his rage.
He gets it. He's making five, six
grand a month now. You realize that, right?
He's playing the meta. Doing what?
Streaming.
No, he doesn't.
He absolutely does. Someone added it up the other day he's got like 1500 subscribers did is they added up like his
december which is the best month and i think it was four grand and he made four grand in december
which has this like you know cod is still new but that was subscribers that was the best month that
was and i think it included
his donations uh-uh no it was like our numbers could be a little skewed here but i thought it
was like 3500 worth of subscribers and like 1500 worth of donations and i feel like whenever i'm
shitting on him on the show in the back of my head i know like probably helping him out a little bit like like yeah i'm promoting this guy right if if we just went dead silence on him it wouldn't be
as beneficial to him as if we we mentioned him every now and then i look i like wings i don't
hate him right i don't want anything bad to happen to him but i'm not going to ignore his character
flaws and and the thing that really upsets me, someone was talking about all the problems that I've got.
I'm like, yeah, but do you see me blubbering about them on the internet?
Do you see them getting me down to the point where I'm talking about suicide
on the internet and stuff like that?
Like, no, that's what I dislike about wings sometimes.
Did you see how difficult it was for some people?
I was looking through the comments more to get a fully rounded out,
because if they made a list of all wing
struggles, they're like, well, the financial and
his family and this and that and the sadness and the
social isolation that he talks about and
the suicide that he struggled with publicly.
And then for you,
they're clearly trying to get the same amount in a
list. And so they go through
legal things.
Gun Channel doesn't really do that anymore.
Sister and his mom? not too tight with that.
Hey, I'm close with them again.
You can knock that right off your list.
Damn it, I got to find another one.
Because that's my alt.
Yeah, clearly.
Kyle's basically just wings, except he's not overweight.
He gets pussy and he has friends.
And someone was like,
those are three big things.
One guy was ripping on your diet habits.
It can't be that out of control
because he's not looking like a big guy.
If it were really that
ridiculous, you'd be a fat ass.
Come on. Look.
I'm sitting here enjoying my root beer,
my Kit Kat. I'm enjoying life i don't
binge you are like a child to be a root beer there's no reason when was the last time you
sat around with a root beer and a candy bar i since i was a child since i was a child too
when you start acting like adult you become one one. Oh, no, not that.
Before long, I'm going to have a Roth IRA and a 401k and savings and all these.
You can have a Roth IRA and a Kit Kat.
I'll give you a quick example, all right?
Look, there's no reason you have to grow up if you don't have to grow up.
And as soon as you get into the mindset that I can't have a Kit Kat
and a root beer in the middle of the day,
you become some
old man. You don't want that.
It's just comical to watch a 31
year old man sit there
in his gaming chair, you know, eating
Kit Kats and drinking
soda pop.
31 or 32? 31.
Gotcha.
But, you know, you're always getting older swatted you out at 32. 31. Gotcha. My mistake then.
Because you're five years older than me.
But, you know, you're always getting older.
Eventually you'll be right.
Yes.
Give it time.
Assuming I stay still.
As long as I make it there, right?
Ah, yeah.
So what are you anticipating from me? Prison violence is a bitch, Kyle.
Like, Wiggins is clearly going to fire back at you.
Oh, you think?
In some way.
He doesn't always. I don't know. But you were just saying how he's playing the game and if he's actually making good money on streaming that he
would want to like instigate something else and invite you to make fun of because any any publicity
is good publicity if he's playing the i'm outrageous playing the meta then taylor's right
i don't yeah i don't think he will uh i don't think he'll say anything i I think someone, I don't know, I read one of the comments,
and they were like, Wings just needs to be quiet.
When you mess with Kyle, you're going to get verbally slaughtered.
What I used to say to you, I'm 100-0 in internet fights.
Come on.
You're not going to win at this.
It's a no-win situation.
But he would be winning, because it would drive
attention to him, and at least a couple of them
would, I don't know, I don't know how Twitch works,
Ah, lost the battle but won the war.
Yeah, definitely so.
And the pity donations are a big thing
too, you know, that helps tremendously.
And he gets plenty of those.
So, um,
yeah, I'm not going to,
certainly I'm not going to make another whole segment out of hating on
wings i've only done that really once where i went full hog on him and uh and you know it was kind of
to make a point you know i i didn't like him saying that i that i didn't help him because
during that thing i was i felt like i was helping a lot you know there were days when i was like jesus i
i wish this could be over but i said i was gonna do it i'm gonna keep doing it i i gotta get this
guy to to lose some weight i wanted him i wanted to lose 50 pounds i want to do this i want i want
this guy to succeed and uh and i've seen people throw into question like like why i did the boot camp like it was for some selfish reasons
yeah like mine alone like well you had a lot of amusement yes someone said think of what it would
have done for your gun channel from or for my own or for my own amusement was like the sole reason
for doing it like like no now we've joked about how silly some of the workouts were,
but I didn't make them silly just to like humiliate and make it silly.
They were silly sometimes for the entertainment purpose,
but they were never humiliating for entertainment purposes.
When you see him like doing those Jeremy pulls and dragging himself on the floor,
it was because his knees hurt so much he couldn't walk.
What do you do with a guy who can't walk?
You have him drag things.
You have him drag things. I don't have a rowing machine.
It just seemed fun.
You spent all your rowing machine money
on the industrial-sized
giraffe cleaner that you had to put in your
fucking bathroom.
I just realized that was for wings.
I'm like, why do they need that i'm like trying to tie back to miniature giraffe yeah i'm definitely hard on wings at times uh but but you won't find anyone who's done more
four wings than than myself not not a member of his family not one of his friends in real life
maybe that guy who used to live with Wings.
Although he owed Wings a ton, right?
Like guy who would like be in videos with him.
Drew, I think, is the lead guy.
If you talk about people who don't...
Drew was getting paid, though.
You know, you're right.
Drew got paid.
I think, though, that Drew helped him long after the money ran out.
And he did more than he was paid to do.
I mean, he was bringing him over and
making meals for him and teaching him how to eat and yeah drew did a lot for wings drew did a lot
for wings he did but i was thinking about that guy with the beard who who moved himself and his
family maybe into wings home like him and his family were kind of homeless like i don't remember
the situation it wasn't like they were hobos they had just had some bad luck or get back on their feet yeah something like that and uh wings took
them all in and uh and so that that that guy was like they're filming the surgery that wings had
and tons of stuff like you got to go to somebody like that who's done more for wings or help wings
more than i have so much for wings or did he just receive more from Wings? He was, no, he was in Wings videos,
like, working with him,
and, like, I think, I wanted to say
maybe he was the one who had, like, the Sharpie.
The Sharpie knife fight, yeah.
Yeah, and I think he'd help Wings
with some camera work occasionally,
and like I said, he was the one holding the camera
when Wings got that MRSA surgery,
and, I mean, hey, I wouldn't have done that.
I had to check out on that.
That is a total order, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
So is it crossing your mind to
surprise Wings maybe with a
nice new gaming chair?
It really is. I can't see spending...
I can't see...
Well, maybe I'm not.
You'd be able to say
whatever you wanted. You'd be able to
be like, I bought him a new gaming chair.
I had to buy a really, really nice $700 one to fit his giant fat behemoth ass didn't it and hold him up
like you could say anything mean with carte blanche because then even wings is gonna be
sitting there like shit i got a new chair i don't care six seven hundred dollars i had a couple of
thoughts about this one there was the idea of buying him a nice chair that he couldn't fit in, right?
Because I could just see him assembling it and being all excited and being like, aww.
Trying to convince himself it fits for a while.
Trying to wedge into it.
Of course, that's cruel and unusual.
What if you got him a stool that was normal sized?
And then it's like
that KY Jelly commercial
where the lady sits by the wharf
and it's just gone?
Dear God.
Buy him a reasonably sized chair
and then just an industrial tub
of wet platinum to lather
the sides with.
Slide right into that chair.
Get him a self-lubricating chair.
But then I thought, like, he'd just sell it.
Right?
He'd just sell that thing, and he'd be like,
aha, smarter than you.
So that's silly.
I wouldn't do that.
So I'm definitely considering it.
I can't see footing the whole bill,
because I just spent a lot of money myself.
I just bought this chair.
This chair was $500, I think, $450, $480 or something.
Then I bought that $400 desk.
For some reason, because it's in the same realm, I can't see buying another chair.
Yeah, that you won't even use.
It just kind of – if it were anything else I could see doing it,
so I may get...
I don't know. Maybe we'll
crowdfund this thing. I want him to get a new chair.
He needs a new chair.
I've told you guys stories about his chair.
He needs a new chair.
A new chair seems wasted.
Like whistling caverns.
Would you give a new blanket to Pigpen?
No, you wouldn't no now who's DMing
I know his chair though
you know what
I think a special kind of hell
would be to be reincarnated as that chair
yeah that's not fair
imagine the life
every day like this
you're like oh god
here it comes
here it comes
he's put a booger in my eye
that's my eye
you gave away what happens to his chair
do we need a new topic
I already knew about it
I knew it too but the crowd I think did not
do we need a new topic
yeah probably so the last, I think, did not. Do we have a new topic? I feel like we've been on wings for the whole half hour.
Yeah, probably so.
Just the last thing I'll say is like, I like wings.
I know I was super hard on wings.
That was kind of the point.
I'm not a sociopath.
You know, I have feelings.
You have feelings?
Yeah, sometimes.
You should have feelings, dude.
I have all sorts of feelings.
Yeah, I'm not an actual sociopath i just play one on the internet because i i think it's fun and it's an interesting
character and i i feel like i do share a lot about my personal life you guys know tons about me so
um i think that's about it and hey no hard feelings like i wasn't upset by anything any
of you guys said and that i think is another thing
that that separates me from wings i'm sure i could have pulled some strings and had some of you real
negative guys banned or like had your stuff removed or something from the subreddit come on
he did not ask for that i can do that i never had any other end of that string and he didn't say a word. Didn't say a word. I would never do that.
Unlike some people.
Ban this person and ban that person.
I don't care if you're a subscriber.
I don't care if you're a moderator.
I don't care if you're Chip.
Ban him.
If you insult my gaming skill, you will be removed.
Yeah.
No abuses of power here.
You can have your freedom of the press or whatever.
Freedom of the press.
Yeah, I guess that extends to our subreddit.
I'll tell you, banning people backfires and such.
It's usually not a good plan, the censorship,
because they just come back with new accounts and they rage.
You could shadow ban them, though know you know you know what to do i i know but taylor's right they figure it out they get mad um basically letting them talk and not
bringing attention to it is the best way to handle hate um yeah trying to silence it just makes it louder
this drives in effect um an earthquake hit off the coast of alaska today i guess there was a tsunami
warning but as far as i know no tidal wave you said that like you weren't totally sure that there
was an earthquake that hit an earthquake well you know what? It was that I wasn't sure phrasing it as hit Alaska was right
because it was like hundreds of miles off the coast of Alaska.
I don't know if the earthquake hit Alaska.
If Alaska got smashed by a tsunami,
how many people could possibly be hurt?
Ten.
Twenties of people.
Honestly, probably like a handful of bears
at the area that it would hit.
I think maybe an oil pipeline like rupturing would be the big worry, I would imagine.
I've never been to Alaska.
I'd like to go.
I've never been either.
It's so big.
Like I think it's so big, I'm pretty sure I can't wrap my head around just how fucking big it is.
You know, it's one third the size of the contiguous United States.
It's like the size of Europe.
Western Europe.
Put all those countries in there.
It's fucking gargantuan.
It's a completely varied landscape.
I think a lot of people picture just...
I remember this guy moved to our elementary school
when we were obviously in elementary school.
He was like, I'm from Alaska.
In my head, I pictured Eskimos and snow. He's like,'s like no we're from the green part we've got caribou and
you know there's not a green part you fool discovery yeah there's green parts um oh and
then there was a shooting today in kentucky uh at a high school people died yeah two 15 year old
kids died and like maybe like if maybe like 17 more were injured uh and it was a 15 year old boy who uh did the shooting
what do you use a weapon of mass extinction a handgun 15 a handgun well no wonder he's killed
like no wonder he's getting hit markers all over the place right oh? Oh, Christ. I mean, this happened like six hours ago.
Too soon.
Too soon? Really?
You guys are going to...
It's getting more and more narrow.
If you're not living in North Carolina,
originally from Jersey, you're not a person.
All those people in Kentucky.
Oh, Kyle's in Georgia, Taylor in Missouri.
Who's going to know what's going on down there?
Yeah, I in Missouri. What's going on down there? Yeah, I saw his ratio sucked, though.
He got two kills and 17 assists.
Or not even, you know, just hit markers.
Yeah, hit markers.
And I was like, what is the scoop with that?
Why is that ratio so terrible?
Is he dead, by the way?
No, he peaceably surrendered or whatever you want to say.
Yeah, we must have ran out of bullets.
You know, if there are school shooters who are trying to peaceably surrender and you're a cop,
I think you should be allowed to be like,
Hey, put that down! Bang, bang, bang, bang!
And just kill him.
Just kill him.
If he's got blood all over him and he's got a gun empty,
I wonder what his story was.
Was he bullied?
That's immediately what i thought you know
like the governor was like taylor oh my god you hit puberty and so i tried you don't understand
bullying oh i was bullied so bad i tried to kill 19 people i tried to murder 20 people
you've never been bullied no no the fear of like like oh here comes third period
fuck here comes third period i better not get there
early yeah he'll be in there early he's gonna give me shit he's gonna say i walk like i got
something stuck up my ass he's gonna call me a faggot dude he's gonna make fun of me in front
of a girl i guess i'll i'd rather be late to class last period i would race to my locker race to my
bike and start going home in hopes that they, like, didn't see me.
Like, I got out before the bullies did.
But no, those fuckers would drive down the street, find me, drive their car over the curb into the sidewalk,
and have me, like, hit the passenger door.
Then they'd get out, like, six at a time.
And now what?
Right?
Like, run, Woody, run.
I was about to go there. Yeah. It's like, like seriously you're fucking driving up on the curb
did you fucking world-class bullies here that's so far beyond any bullying i've ever even heard
about like well granted i feel like the school culture of bullying changed a lot even from when
you were in school to where i was where like teachers had much like crack down on it like physical bullying was rare when i was a kid like
if that happened a kid would get shot down like pushing or like anything like even just like a
shove like that would get taken seriously but them chasing you with a car up on the side that's not
even bullying anymore that's like attempted assault right vehicular
homicide to call that bullying really undercuts it because when you go man i got bullied in high
school like they chased me in their car drove up on the road they were going you know we're
gonna get you whatever they're doing like that's not bullying that's oh it's super effective
bullying and uh and then like they get out of the car so fucking fast.
Because bikes go pretty well forward, but backwards you're like...
By the way, they're older than me.
I'm on a bicycle.
They're in a car.
There's a hint for you.
Yeah.
So they're lucky I didn't shoot that place up.
Well, you should look back and be very thankful that none of those guys in that truck were getting any pussy.
Because they would have been getting pussy, not chasing a younger kid.
Woody shows up to school at 8 a.m., trench coat, war paint, a stiletto in each hand.
A stiletto?
Oh, are we talking about the shoes that my mom used?
Oh, are we talking about the shoes that my mom used?
Finally, after like a half hour rampage,
like all the stilettos are broken off and done,
and the kids are bloodied, they're wondering if we're going to stop,
you pull out a bunch of ice scrapers like shurikens.
They've got like the list of your mom's real estate company.
Next week, half the football team are wearing eye patches because
kids are fucking maniac i didn't even i wasn't even in the truck i don't know him yeah it's
funny taylor's lack of empathy for bullying might be because bullies have really stepped down their
game since my since my time and yeah when my dad talks about like what he had to do for like
hazing wait wait wait did you go to like a private catholic about what he had to do for hazing in college. Wait, wait, wait, did you go to a private Catholic school?
Yes, he went to a private Catholic school.
He's a big dude, right?
How many people were in your class, your school?
A couple hundred in the class.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
See, this is a little group of people.
You were by far the biggest guy.
Wait, wait, wait, how big was your class?
This is the people in your grade. wait. How big was your class? This is the people in your grade.
Yeah, how big was your class?
I don't know.
You know, we've talked about this before.
I don't think I've got a good...
320, 340 here for my class.
So the high school would have been four times that.
Yeah, I honestly don't know.
I really don't.
We never counted them up or anything like that,
or at least I didn't.
I was never really aware.
Kyle didn't know his class rank.
Oh, I know.
It was right at the bottom somewhere.
See, I knew mine. I'm like, alright.
317 out of 321.
If a couple more kids drop
out, then I'll be 316
out of 320. That's better,
right?
Oh, man. That would be so depressing.
To be like, goddammit. I'm not even in the 200s.
Oh, no.
I was really at the bottom.
And I don't know.
It doesn't seem to impress on other people as much as it did me.
Like, that guy's a high school dropout,
but he was doing better than me.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, that's not fair.
He didn't take as many classes.
Probably not. He didn't have as many classes. Probably not.
He didn't have the opportunity to fail.
He took PE four times.
Jesus, that's not fair.
You can't count him.
I never understood those kids who would, like,
almost take a weird kind of pride in how shit they were at school
to where they'd be like, God, I've got, like, a D plus in keyboarding.
I just want to be like, God, you really are a retard.
You can't even play the game where you have to type the name of the asteroid
that's flying down towards your word palace to learn how to play.
You have to type combat or asteroid or belt or apostrophe.
Those keyboarding games were so much fun.
I remember that.
Only compared to school.
I think that's why you liked it, right?
You didn't go home and play that game, did you?
Oh, no.
Yeah, no.
In the same way that watching every shitty film or whatever they show you in class was a good day.
Why?
Because it's just better than the other thing.
Dude, you're totally right.
I would have liked...
Oh, go ahead.
A prank that I like to pull
was when we had a substitute
you usually watch a movie
I'd bring my own movie
slip it in
we're supposed to be watching
it's a cassette
you did this though?
yes absolutely
I try to remember
the specific movie
bring your own VHS in
and then slip it in there.
Not literally put it in the machine.
Put it in the cover of the movie we're supposed to be watching
and put that on top of the machine and let him do it.
He puts it in. He plays it.
I'm trying to remember what I brought because they confiscated it.
They confiscated it.
Did you bring porn?
Not porn, but like a good movie, right? like i brought a movie that i'd want to see
probably r-rated um gladiators in all right everybody settle back it was something like that
it was something like that like i didn't bring porn i didn't bring like uh striptease uh i remember
a teacher in uh i remember hearing the story about a teacher who brought striptease to school
and showed it to students have you you ever seen strip tees?
I've never seen strip tees.
What?
Have you, Woody?
I don't think so, but I definitely know the trailers and Demi Moore and how kind of shape she got in.
Yeah, Demi Moore is in it, and she plays a stripper, and she gets very naked, and it's excellent.
It's excellent.
She's 40, and she looks 18.
She storms out on the stage.
She, like, throws off.
It's just big titties.
Demi Moore has some really big knockers.
And just an absolute beauty.
One of the hottest chicks ever in Hollywood.
I like her whole look.
Like everything.
Big fan of Demi Moore.
Yeah, that's a good movie.
Yeah, I'm looking at some Google images.
It does look like a good movie.
Right?
She's, like, 34 in this, and she looks spectacular. Is she 30? Yeah, that's a good movie. Yeah, I'm looking at some Google images. It does look like a good movie. She's like 34 in this, and she looks spectacular.
Is she 30?
Yeah, yeah.
I bet she looked great at 50.
She might be over that now.
Let me try to find the pictures and figure out what age she was in that Charlie's Angels movie.
She's like top 1% at aging.
Yeah, very good.
She was in kind of rough shape,
and she talked about having cellulite,
and she talked about how she had to get in shape
for Charlie's Angels.
Let's see, what year was this?
Rough shape is clearly the hottest mom
at all of soccer practice.
Oh, for sure.
Well, maybe not in LA,
but in our soccer practices.
I mean, when you get into, like, middle ages, like now in 2018,
it seems like all it takes to not be really just bottom of the barrel
is just don't be fat.
Just if you're not a fat person at 45 years old,
you're already leaps and bounds ahead of most people out there.
To me? Okay, one, you're totally right, especially at 45 years old, you're already leaps and bounds ahead of most people out there. To me?
Okay, one, you're totally right.
Especially at 45. I wasn't listening to that first.
At 45,
if you just sort of have your body fat in check,
you're doing great. For a woman,
that's almost everything.
Big butt, small butt, big boobs,
little boobs. There's someone out there who digs what you have. So long as you're not fat, you're hot
as a girl. Oh, yeah. i mean like at our age now like there are so many girls that i know that are
very attractive they don't go to the gym like they'll go out drink like a fish on the weekend
and have a good time and then just be like oh i don't think i'm gonna eat to until tuesday and
then i'm gonna like eat like a little bird on Wednesday and Thursday to even it back up. And it's like, that's all you had to do. That's hard though. That is hard, but it's
not as hard as the guy where I have to eat way more specifically and actually put in the effort
to work out, you know, but to be fair, most women, when they work out, they're doing like cardio.
I'd much rather lift weights and do cardio because cardio is like, is actual torture.
than do cardio because cardio is like it's actual torture.
It's horrible.
You know what though?
Cardio's
wow. Is that the brunette?
Is that Demi Moore? Yeah.
When is that from? Is that
Cameron Diaz on the left? That is Cameron Diaz
on the left. I always thought Cameron
Diaz was hot but in terms of Hollywood
hot, overrated.
I think she's super hot.
But yeah, Demi Moore.
And how old is she in that, you say?
40. That's 2003. She's 55 now.
So a little math in my head.
That's an amazing 40.
I forget how to think.
I don't recall.
My bone hurts.
Where I broke it.
Which bone?
Right by my ankle.
I've been doing a lot of stuff,
like moving furniture, paramotoring,
where I wear supportive shoes.
And I think just lacing up boots tight is hurting.
It needs a couple days break.
That's my theory.
That sucks.
It does.
People are like, are you 100%?
I'm like, eh. I'm like i'm an a you know it's just like 90 yeah yeah like i'm an a a mine i don't know hundreds the term we're looking for
but i'm good like i've been getting like some wrist like a little bit of wrist pain soreness
like not even like up here or anything like it's always it's usually fine up like just a little
thing right here and i'm like am i gonna not work out because of that like no it's not even up here or anything. It's usually fine. I have just a little thing right here. And I'm like, am I going to not work out because of that?
No, it doesn't hurt.
It's just not the most comfortable.
And when I am working out, it doesn't hurt at all.
Can you identify the thing that is wearing it?
It's just a little.
It has to be a tendon or something right here.
Because it's not a specific bone or anything.
Just a little weird pain.
I meant the motion that's causing the trouble like is there a thing you
cannot do like push-ups i think it's i can do the push-ups okay because i have that that power board
that you ended up getting yeah yeah you don't have to like if i were going like this i could feel
like it's a little fucked up but what i anticipate is that i upped the weight that i'm doing for like
cleaning presses and i must not have been like I
must have been letting my like wrist hang back a bit too much instead of keeping it straight but
that gets yeah I just got a whole new crop not a whole new crop but I like upped into like new
weights for everything again like the way um a tarantula molts into a bigger thing you know so
I molted into some larger weights but uh and i'm i've been so good
with my diet the last well i i was shit on friday is it because of meal prep is that how you're being
so good no it's not meal prep it's just uh like i have someone who's like my accountability in it
right now because we both want to like really stop plateauing i'm like getting much better
shape before shirtless season comes off again.
Okay.
And so, like, I've been eating, like, a ton of fish, like, really healthy.
Just before this, I, like, speed made and wolfed down in, like, you know, 15 minutes, like, almost a pound of tilapia and, like, lemon pepper seasoning and, like, a little bit of olive oil.
lemon pepper seasoning and a little bit of olive oil.
Then just a big mixing bowl full of baby spinach with enough dressing to make it edible.
Vinaigrette even then, maybe 90 calories of that.
I just wolf it down.
I'm pretty full right now.
It takes a lot of time. If you wanted to do cardio you didn't hate, you could play hockey again.
Oh, I could.
Yeah, I could.
That's always been my kind of solution for cardio that doesn't suck, play a game.
It's hard to – because even then I'd only be playing once a week,
and it's not that much activity.
You could join three leagues.
Oh, I'll join three leagues and just be playing hockey all the time.
Yeah.
My workout with my weights, I do some three leagues just to play hockey all the time. Like, my workout with my weights, like, I do some, like, the swings and everything.
Like, you get some cardio from it, but it's still nothing compares to just running or elliptical.
PKA is an interesting thing because, like, on one hand, I don't work that many hours a week.
So I feel like I should not complain, right?
Dude, don't fuss.
It's fantastic.
You're the luckiest guy in the world
yeah on the other hand the show must go on like it's a thing like right now there's people who
want me to go to Salton Sea it's like a giant lake in California there's a paramotoring thing there
and I and it's just like I don't know that I can work that out is there even wi-fi there
it's like the desert I think it's Bureau of Land Management or like
the show probably not gonna enter yeah right and uh I can't tell you how many potential
dates and shit I have had to just not occur because they'd be like oh I'm only open Thursday
and then this weekend I have to work or whatever. And then it's like, ah, sorry.
And then I'll just be going to the bathroom before PKA starts that week
and be like, God damn it.
Could have been getting late.
But you're right.
The show must go on.
The show must go on, yeah.
You've got to organize around Thursday.
Oh, my God.
So, dude, I think we mentioned on the show,
Hope's freshman semester was not as successful as we hoped it would be.
And, you know, she missed some classes here and there.
And she's like, well, you know, I had strep throat or whatever.
I was like, I had a broken leg in three places just a few months ago.
Didn't miss one show.
I popped some painkillers.
They called it the coffin cam.
Still there. Still there.
Still there.
Oh, did you have strep throat, sweetheart?
Anyway, I should be nice to you. Was it like she skipped her... No, you're doing it right.
No, this is very public.
I'm harder on my youngest brother
about his grades than either of my parents.
Like,
he was like, oh, when I came home from first
year, I wasn't worried about
mom or dad at all but i knew taylor was gonna be pretty upset with me because it was like i i know
he's smarter than what the grades is getting like he got like a three point like low 3.0s like
which if you're a freshman in college inexcusable all you have to do is put your ass to the
grindstone you can do better unless you're a genuinely stupid person which i know he's not
and you know hope's not she can work harder and get it uh for her participation not participation for her attendance
thing that i had stripped float for what i couldn't attend or i couldn't you know i forgot
that lesson like that would fly in 1990 but like now even towards like when i was graduating school
they came out with this thing called tegrity which is on every blackboard site and borderline every teacher puts their live recorded uh lectures up on there so you can just watch it
afterward like it's not hard at all they make it so so easy the excuse like of all my friends
that i saw like you know of course they spin yarns for their parents oh i was sick oh this and that
oh i was so busy with this other class we did take her to the doctor and have her tested but carry on oh yeah well not that i was
meaning like just partying is what at least with my friends uh i had a couple friends that just
didn't make it out of like sophomore year and still haven't made it back to school because
they fiddle fucked around they didn't take their grades seriously they got in a frat and thought
oh it's going to be all hunky-dory from here,
and then their grades come in below a 2.5
or whatever the required frat thing is,
so they get kicked out of the frat.
Then they're all depressed
because they lost their little friend group
and they end up dropping out of school
because their grades are too shit.
And they either figure,
I need to not take out any more loans,
or if they were lucky and had their parents pay for it,
they're like, well, their parents are going to say,
eat shit.
No, I'm not paying.
This is a four-year party certificate for you.
I hear you.
Oh, I think Hope has a personality trait.
Oh, boop, boop, bop, bop, bop.
Hope has a – all right, Kyle's moving, so it's definitely not me.
Hope has a personality trait, something like me,
in that if she develops a personality something like me in that like if she
develops a passion or an interest in something she's unstoppable you know we saw that with speech
and debate you should have seen her like if you get a hundred points in your high school career
you become a ruby right and that's like a big accomplishment hope was a what the fuck is five
quintuple ruby right she had enough like her contest results were that of an accomplished person five times over.
She was very good.
And, you know, mid-season, she'd change up her piece in an effort to get better.
Every other kid is just like, I did my cuts.
I don't have to do this again.
She's like, you know what?
If we change the play,
maybe we can make it even better.
Nothing would stop her.
On the other hand, kind of like me,
if it's not her passion,
she doesn't give a fuck about it.
She needs to find her passion
and turn it into something.
I think that's where she is.
A lot of it's just
especially smart kids
in like high school they don't have to buckle down for a lot of stuff because they know oh man i'm
not interested in this social studies test i have to take or whatever so i can just you know skim by
and still get an a minus or a b plus in college it's so you know in depth even kind of the bullshit
classes that if you are like um you know microeconomics that's not for-depth, even kind of the bullshit classes, that if you are like, microeconomics, that's not for me.
I'll just kind of like put a little – dip my toe in the water enough to pass.
It's like, well, you probably won't.
And if you do, instead of getting that B plus, A minus, you're probably going to get a C, C minus.
I don't know if I've said it on the show, but Hope's been hearing it since she was three.
In high school, everybody's walking.
And if you fall behind, you can easily catch right up.
In college, everybody's jogging.
And if you fall behind,
it is more difficult to catch a group of people who are jogging.
And then, for me at least, at my cognitive horsepower,
at the master's level, everybody's running.
And if you fall behind, you're fucked.
You can't catch them.
They're all running.
This is really hard.
And that was my analogy. behind you're fucked you can't catch them they're all running this is really hard and uh that that
was my analogy so many people go into college sucking dick at reading that they just sabotage
themselves or reading comprehension or you know just the speed at which they read because like
in high school it's like all right read one chapter of to kill a mockingbird by friday and
you're like oh oh, 11 pages?
Oh, fuck it.
I'll just wait a month,
and then I'll read the entire book all at once.
Whereas in a real class,
I'd be like, all right, we need you to read chapters one through 11
by two weeks from this Thursday.
And you're like, oh, that's 400 pages.
Well, I've got a couple weeks to do it.
And then people don't parse it out the way you're
supposed to like i would always like just you know take the total amount of time divide the pages and
then make it as close to that as i could but i would always like try to make myself feel like
i was doing better than what i established i'd always read over it and then like finish a couple
days early and be like look at this guy pat on the back that's conscientious that's very good it is i i'm very i beat myself myself up for school so much
like because i i hated doing bad because like you get a bad grade and you'd be like
it's not because i didn't get it it's because you were lazy like you didn't put in the effort
i know kyle feels the same way about school uh did you study at all in high school, Kyle, or did you just say, fuck it?
If I had to, I would study, but I was more of a bare minimum kind of guy.
You homeschooled part of high school, yes?
Middle school.
Oh, okay.
Sixth and seventh grades.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah, I had an issue with a bully.
Taylor wouldn't know anything about no taylor
would have been the bully six grade he had a full beard by then no i could have been a counter bully
you know that's what i always thought i always thought you know i've given him way too much
credit young woody no i and i wasn't oh i was saying young woody used to like make a deal with
the universe like god if you turn me into what we now know as taylor i would defend my
fellow halflings you know what was uh what was your bully doing kyle that you that you booted
you out um just just fucking with me you know just you my ear, and then I'd turn around, and the teacher would be like,
Kyle! Pay attention!
And I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me right now?
I turned around because he's hitting me.
He's hitting me!
Just, I don't remember chocolate all over me.
Can I ask you this about your bullying?
Yeah, go ahead.
Did you draw attention to yourself to get bullied because as i look back
i missed some good opportunities to remain quiet when i was a kid you know it i was
like 12 right i really don't remember okay um but i was just getting into trouble
because of like having to deal with the bully like it wasn't that we were just getting into trouble because of having to deal with the bully.
It wasn't that we were really getting into fights.
I wasn't fighting him.
I was just like...
I don't know, it kept getting me into trouble somehow.
He kept getting me into trouble.
He had more friends than I did, so they would lie for him.
And it was just always a thing.
I don't know. But but it was but but i ended
up beating him up uh when i let's see when when did that happen like maybe when they were in
seventh grade um but i was homeschooled uh we were at a football game and uh and i had told
somebody i was like if i see him i'm gonna get him you know i i can't i want to get him
yeah i can't live with this yeah he confronted me he was like i heard you're gonna kick my ass
and i was like you heard right and it was like and uh and there was a whole crowd of people
watching it was one of the most triumphant moments of my childhood uh my dad came over like
you know as the fight was being broken up he's like yeah look at
that little son of a bitch you got him now kyle and like of course like i'm not in school so i
get in zero trouble but this is a school function it's a football game so he gets in trouble right
like there's a principal there to like grab him and take him away and uh and it was it was i don't
know it was like something out of a movie it went went very well. It wasn't like some drawn-out fight.
I punched him, and then we, like, rolled around on the grass and, like, you know,
fought as best seventh graders could fight.
But I was completely unbloodied and damaged, and he was bleeding quite a bit
because I got a clean hit in at the beginning.
That's really what counts, right?
Afterwards, it's the scorecard, right?
Who had blood on their shirt?
Who has a bruise on
their face or best case scenario black eye yeah like like afterwards people would tell the story
of what had happened and they and i was like that's not exactly how it went but okay
the winner always performs like 50 better at least than the reality and the loser always like gets
their ass kicked even if it was pretty close and then then like Kyle just tagged him once and he gets a nosebleed
Like a week later the retelling of that will be like and then you know it was like a war crime like
He's mixing teeth and the guys over there with like his now healed I like my teeth are fine
These are original
Look at him those aren't his teeth look fine. These are original. He had to get new teeth. Look at him.
Those aren't his teeth.
Look how nice they are.
Oh, that's true.
He could do yellow to be fake.
Oh, that's funny.
I like little bullying justice stuff.
Like a friend of mine, one of my still, one of my best friends to this day, was really, really small in grade school.
still one of my best friends to this day uh was really really small in grade school and he got bullied by this other kid who was also like small like just a little bit taller than this other kid
and like i was you know like a a blue whale swimming next to two small fish i just wouldn't
even pay attention to like their little little tiffs i'm on the way one of them's your friend
right oh he was the other one was like
my friend too cloak of protection see i didn't realize this was literally only like three weeks
ago that i was talking to my buddy about this and he's like yeah and i used to like go home like so
sad every day because that other kid was making fun of me but like if you were if you were just
to watch for in in the moment you're like uh yeah sure he doesn't like it but he's like it, but he's like, it looks like it's rolling off his back.
He's just kind of letting it go.
It's not until a few weeks ago that we were talking about it randomly
that he brought it up.
But over time, my good friend grew into an average-sized guy.
He's like 5'9 or something now.
The other guy who bullied him for being Tiny Tim, Tiny Tim,
you know, all that, that guy is 5'2".
Now, as a full-grown man.
God punished him.
Now it's almost surprising, like, when I saw him after, like, years, where it was just like, oh, my God.
Lord struck him down.
God really got you good, buddy.
Because you are bafflingly short for a man.
Like, that would
suck god withheld puberty for me but eventually did deliver
who was being punished who was god punishing when he did that to you to me yeah me clearly
any other victim i can't imagine i guess that's true maybe you're the kid in like
seven sixth or seventh grade
who was making fun of someone like me.
Who is talking like this?
Actually, in fourth grade, I was one of the biggest kids.
But I don't remember terrorizing anyone or anything.
I just didn't have any problems.
Fourth grade is kind of before you pay attention to that stuff anyway.
For the most part, I think.
I've been playing a lot of Fallout lately.
I downloaded a shitload of mods for it.
It's a completely different game.
I'm having so much fun.
Fallout 4, you said?
Yeah, 4.
That, for some reason, muted you with just you said the number.
Yeah, Fallout 4.
I've got a ton of mods for it.
So, you know, I don't know.
Isn't it the same game?
It's the same game
Because when I hear completely different game
I'm like how can that even be
Same map, same story
Pretty much
But you know
It's Fallout
So you do things completely differently the next time
Like you make different decisions
And things end up differently.
You know, you kill characters that you used to let live,
or you side with a different faction.
You make a character look completely
different this time around. You
rank yourself up and choose the skill tree
completely differently. So in the past, I've
done, like, a stealthy melee guy
who just kills everything with a baseball
bat, and this time my guy
has a suppressed machine gun.
And, you know, I've done like a sniper build before.
Like there's all kinds of different styles and ways to play the game.
And now that I'm playing it on PC for the first time,
I always played it on console before, I've just got so many mods.
So like there's titties and ass.
And you get to decide like what the vaginas look like.
All any vaginas. Wait, you get to decide what the vaginas look like all any vaginas wait i made
you decide what the with the vaginas look like absolutely i would vary them up to be honest i
think you made a bad call there i did vary them up the right the bad girls have bushes and the
good girls are shaved but they're all any vaginas uh the the most recent thing i've added is so the
titties jiggle. They have
physics now instead of just being like a
Barbie doll titty.
Your clamest
attitudes are not appreciated
by Woody and I on this
platform. I like
all pussy.
It's all great.
Of course, just like
there's a percentage of dicks that are just probably horrible.
No.
You know, there's a percentage of pussies that are probably.
I like all candy bars.
I don't like all pussies, though.
All right?
Like, whether it's a Chunky, an Almond Joy, even a Mounds,
a Nutrageous, Reese's Cups.
These two all sound good.
Can we get a candy bar? They're allups. These two always sound good. Can we get it?
They're all good.
Payday, Three Musketeers.
Whatchamacallit.
I could go on forever.
See, you don't like a little bit of action going on with the vagina, Kyle?
No.
A little more to suck on?
A little more to mess around with?
Ew, no.
No, absolutely not.
I've never had it, I don't think.
But I would be fine.
I've seen it on video, and it doesn't turn me off in the slightest.
Look, the any subreddit.
I mean, we've been there before.
And that's fine, too.
Those are good-looking vaginas.
But I'm saying, I wouldn't want to only eat red meat.
I want some poultry in there.
I want some pork.
I want some seafood.
Put some fish on the menu.
Fish on the menu.
Lots of fish on the menu. No, no, absolutely not. No, this is what I'm some pork. I want some seafood. Put some fish on the menu. Fish on the menu. Lots of fish on the menu.
No, no, absolutely not.
This is what I'm looking for.
Let me just...
Yeah, perfect.
I feel like I did.
This won't be hard.
Kyle, when I rip on Kyle's copy-paste skills,
it is all true.
I had to go to the website.
I had to change the
prioritization. I had to find out exactly what I was looking for. See, this is a
wonderful gift and that's a very attractive pussy. Yes, it absolutely is.
That's just one kind of candy bar. there's a lot of other ones out there yeah there's uh there's something like uh here i've gone you know what we need to see
is i want you to show me one that if you took their panties off you'd be like no
i need to see your line and try and make it close to a line don't just make it like bananas well out of control the way
you put it is like she takes her panties off and i just say no no it's got to be pretty bad for that
but let me phrase it differently you take her panties off and you're very unenthused about
how about how about this take i hook up with her and then i'm like, that's the last time. Like afterwards, I'm not going to ghost her.
But what I am going to do is be like, you know, I'm going to make up an excuse for why we can't go about this again.
That would do it.
That's too much.
That would do it?
That's too much.
Yeah.
Let me see this one.
That's awful.
That grosses me out.
Oh, you're crazy.
Scroll down to that bottom picture.
Yeah, I see it.
You enjoy. You enjoy because it looks like some sort of sea creature.
It looks like a clam.
It looks like a sick clam that's open to chill because of water pollution.
It looks like an anti-BP video from the internet.
Like, BP polluted this ocean.
Now look at the clams.
And the clams are like, ehhh.
That woman has a lot of labia, but I'd hit it.
Well, hypothetically, Woody would hit it.
Yeah, once. That Exxon Valdez pussy.
That's what that is. That's an Exxon Valdez pussy, and I am
just very against
that. I find that gross.
That's terrible.
That's terrible. I'm not into that into that at all dude my mom took offense to your uh clamest attitude i i know she did right
so that leads me to believe some it leads me to um to what you're heading and i went there too
leads me to infer some things about your mother's vagina I was like if my mom was offended by Kyle's
clamism then
does she have an outie?
I might know something about my mom
I bet it used to be an innie and then after your
father was through with it
Jesus Christ Wings
it looks like a tired dog
it looks like Beethoven's mouth but but not like Beethoven 1, like Beethoven 4.
You know what Borat said?
It looks like a wizard's sleeve.
I remember, yeah, when I was a teenager,
she had to have some sort of lump removed from her, like,
mons pubis area because they were having
so much sex and too much
that the pounding developed like
a I don't know
an issue yeah
like some sort of cyst or something
the repetitive hitting right there
it was too much for her body to take and they had
to take a short break switch up the positions
you know Taylor
this is brilliant.
I like where you're headed on that.
That's what you do.
Yeah, I'm not into that.
The majority of the...
Oh, like this, I'm just...
I'm going through...
I'm on a subreddit called Labia Gone Wild.
Gone Wild is abbreviated to GW.
It's too fucking much, bro.
It's way too much.
Probably in two days.
I'll text you.
I'll text you.
I can't wait that long, Taylor.
We need to know more photographic
examples of what's good and bad.
I took my pre-workout
20 minutes ago and my eyelids are tingling.
I need to start doing something.
Alright.
PKN 179.