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Pain Killer Nearly, episode 180, guest starring My Forehead Pimple, and Taylor, you said something
I thought was interesting.
You have a girl coming over and you're cooking her dinner.
Now, I have done a half a dozen male Mondays where people asked about date advice, and
these people were young, often they weren't driving yet, and I told them to bake.
Have you done this before?
Are you cooking her dinner, Are you cooking it together?
That was always my idea.
Yeah.
I mean, I went and bought everything on the way home from work.
And so I'm sure we'll end up cooking together.
But, yeah, I didn't really think too far ahead about, like, baking versus just regular cooking.
But I got a couple of fillets that I'm going to do stove top and then in the oven at like 425.
Yeah, you do like three minutes on both sides on the stove and then 425 in the oven for like not that long.
I think I'm going to have to add like a minute or two because these are thick and I don't want it that tendrily kind of thing.
It's like two inches thick.
So probably like three minutes in there.
Yes.
And it's,
you get the,
uh,
my lard browning effect on there,
right?
Where you get the good taste and skin,
but that's the best way to do fillets.
And then I've got stuff for,
um,
a asparagus and onion and mushroom saute that I'm going to do stove top in
some olive oil.
And then I'll put a little bit of lemon juice and salt on it when it's
done.
Uh, then I have some spinach for a salad.
I bought brown rice if I want to make
some of that, but I'm not sure if I'm going to want to.
We'll see. I don't know what the
audience is. I'm more
interested in the girl on the date than
however the fuck you saute.
I don't even know how that's...
Isn't it funny? That's where I started going to it.
Yeah.
I could be wrong. Kyle's probably more I don't even know how that's a thing. Isn't it funny that's why I started going to it? Yeah, yeah.
So I could be wrong.
I know Kyle's probably more interested in whether you pinch salt or sprinkle it.
I don't give a fuck.
I can't care any less than how food is prepared.
So you're going to come over.
You'll probably share the kitchen and do it as a joint activity?
Yeah, I'm sure we will.
It's not like there's too much effort for any of that stuff like the the steak should kind of just get done real quick and then rice cooks itself if i
decide to do that salad takes no effort i'll probably tell her to make the salad and then
the saute on the stove like takes maybe four minutes until everything's browning up like so
it should be a pretty quick meal like i picked that on purpose too just so you know it wouldn't
be a whole evening of cooking and scouring bowls and shit like i didn't want purpose too just so you know it wouldn't be a whole evening of cooking
and scouring bowls and shit like i didn't want to do like a lasagna or anything i wanted to do
something something easier but that's still classy and it's an excuse for me to buy steak and i wanted
steak there you go yeah but actually her coming over like the actual i've done this before you
asked uh if i've ever like cooked dinner for someone yeah I'm sure Kyle has as well where it's a great way to
demonstrate your value D D in the dentist system you know and because most guys like it's not that
fucking hard to to cook serviceably you know but most people don't even take the F it's like people
who say like oh I'm the worst at math it's like well, well, at the end of the day, it's kind of just following instructions, isn't it?
Like most of it, like math, cooking,
like if you just have a printout in front of you,
I mean, granted, math is hard
if you like have to memorize all the shit,
but if you've got all your little cheat sheets
in front of you, you can kind of plug and play.
Math is easy until you fall two steps behind, right?
Then you don't understand the instructions anymore.
You know, like, all right,
we need to find common denominators.
I don't know my times tables.
I'm really fucked in this.
You get an answer on an econ test.
He's not even coming back.
I'm sorry, Taylor.
You probably hate that, but for us, it's really funny.
I used to do this for Mail Monday.
You know what?
I think I had a good experience or two when I was young, like pre-driving where we'd bake brownies or
just do something in the kitchen. Because what are you
going to do? And maybe now is a
less innocent time. Maybe
nowadays if you have a 13-year-old over
you're expected to blow you or something. But back in
my day, you'd bake brownies
and you'd have an activity where you could
actually really enjoy each other's time.
Was there a draw game, Brownie?
So it was good.
Well, you definitely want an activity that's fun,
and that's kind of what cooking is.
It's just an activity that you're kind of enjoying together for a while,
and then you get a good meal out of it.
And Kyle knows that it does bolster your value.
It shows that you're an adult, that you're willing to figure shit out,
even if it's not super complex.
I don't know. When people are like,
I don't know how to cook at all. I burn boiling
water. That's not impressive to me.
You're retarded.
It's like, I can't wipe my ass right. There's always
pebbles back there. It's like, no, that's the
same level of retardation.
You can't make tea? You're that dumb?
That lazy? I don't know.
What's your go-to meal for
for cooking a gal if you're having her over the for the first time i don't really have a go-to
i kind of bounce around i think uh i think steaks work really well because it's expensive and classy
but at the same time they take like literally i mean there's a little bit of prep i like to let
them get up to room temperature so leave them out for half an hour and then you know salt and pepper
and throw them in a pan with, like a
600 degree pan with olive oil and
garlic and rosemary. Why is short
so important?
Because I don't
want there to be, like,
an hour and a half of, like,
her sitting on a stool at the
bar of my kitchen, just kind of like,
so what are you doing now?
I'm pureeingeing i need to concentrate
will you hold i told you hold it up so i can read like this doesn't sound like a joint activity
that doesn't follow my system like yeah to me it's absolutely like you're it hypothetically
cites brownies i don't know why i'm perseverating on that but you know how old is this young lady
yeah you are dating a 13 year old i assume right
she's gonna love the sweets you hand her she's gonna love the betty crocker brownie yeah oh my
god not too much sugar late at night you know my trick for dating underage girls i keep a candy
bowl they think it's the coolest thing this is old easter candy you cheap fuck. It's on sale, but it's new to me.
Yeah, but if both of you are licking the little mixing thing or –
Raw egg, Woody.
Oh, man up, Kyle.
See, I don't make sweets.
The man doesn't tell me what I can lick and what I can't lick.
I don't know what Kyle's like with your kitchen,
but I have a thing that when I'm done cooking,
I have to clean all of my pots and pans immediately.
I don't like letting things sit out.
And so if I made a bunch of lasagnas and shit
and I had seven things to clean,
and after we finished eating,
when she'd want to be sitting on the couch or doing whatever,
I'd be over there like, so is it good?
Yeah, no, right after this, I promise. Yeah, I got four more pans to clean because i even the cleanup to me like i guess it's not the
best date but like if you were if like if you washed and she dried wouldn't that just make
quick work of something no it gives her like come over to my house and let's do some chores
no as i've done with this it goes into the dishwasher. The dishwasher is my electrical slave. It washes the dishes. I don't understand why people, oh, I gotta do the dishes. What the fuck are you talking about? And how did the dishes transition to some secondary place after you were done using them that wasn't the dishwasher?
like after I'm done with a pan I pour cold water on it
now it's a warm pan and it goes in the dishwasher
and now I push a button and it washes the dishes
for me
we have a couple that don't go in there
I want to say we have a cast iron skillet
for steaks
I think that gets washed in a different way
I don't wash that at all
so that doesn't end up in the dishwasher
I don't know quite what happens to it
it's not my thing
I actually just scrubbed my cast iron one down right before this.
It's all ready.
It's been seasoned.
It's going to make some good steaks tonight.
But she has a couple.
If it's big, it might not end up in there.
We have a popcorn bowl, I think, that ends up getting washed by hand.
But yeah, you want a quick meal because the whole evening shouldn't be about this poor girl watching you cook.
A low-maintenance meal like steak, it takes no time at all. And most of the time is spent just waiting. meal because the whole evening shouldn't be about this poor girl watching you cook like a low maintenance meal
like steak like it takes no time at all
and most of the time is spent just waiting
and like how long does it
take to make a spinach salad you put it in a bowl
and then you put dressing on it and it's fucking done
yeah yeah I use
I like to make baked potatoes of some kind
I'm not on some kind of scary diet
so I like to twice bake
potatoes
did he get quiet for you too, Taylor?
He got a little quieter, Kyle.
Yeah, I can hardly hear your words.
I can still hear you, but do you make sweet potatoes ever or just regular old potatoes?
I like sweet potatoes at a restaurant, but if I'm making them, it's a baked potato.
And it's a twice-baked potato where I bake the potato, take everything out, put it in a mixing bowl, and then add lots of cool ingredients and then mash them all up and then put them back in the potato and bake it some more with cheese on top.
That does sound pretty good.
I thought that I was eating – because I used to eat way more sweet potatoes than regular potatoes because it's like, oh, they're supposed to be better for you.
And then, like, I was reading, like, two weeks ago, and it and it was like well but if you want to get any of the nutrition from your
sweet potatoes you got to be eating the skin and i'm like well fuck i have i've never been doing
that i missed out for years and so now i started doing it and it's it's fine you know nothing to
write home about it's kind of you know bland but it's all the vitamin a you need for the day
apparently whatever vitamin A does a
lot of stuff, reportedly. I don't know exactly what. I was checking the zinc amount in my
multivitamins that I take, because you were saying, Kyle, you take 100 milligrams of zinc
a day. Now, unless your body runs on zinc,
based on my little one-a-day
men's calculations, you're taking
way too much.
I'm aware.
Have you looked up zinc
poisoning? Have you ever
felt this before, any of these things?
On some things, if you take too much,
your body just turns your pee yellow. It's all
cool. You can't have too much of some things.
It's not an issue.
On other things, okay, on other things, and I don't know if zinc is one of them,
you get like zinc poisoned or something.
Like your body just accumulates it and you don't want to overdo it.
Yeah, have you ever felt like nauseous or like a weird out of nowhere stomach ache
after you take those zinc pills?
Never, never, never. like nauseous or like a weird out of nowhere stomach ache after you take those zinc pills never never because all of the stuff i take like all together just has like 45 milligrams of zinc
a day and you're taking more than twice that so yeah i gotta step it up and see if this really
does change ejaculate volume massive loads massive serious absolutely absolutely just just covered from from from from the top of her head to her
to her tits just just just a glazing effect to the point where she's like oh that was a lot and
then you're like oh we're not done yet just just really going to town just she opens her eyes
because she thinks it over it's over and then riddle me this though is it one of those like
weak shitty loads
that you see sometimes in porn where it looks like
it's like the equivalent of the
ketchup water that comes out of the
container first I call that ketchup pre-cum
yeah that's ketchup pre-cum it's like that or is this
a thick mighty creamy
load where she'll go ah
a virile man I think that part
of my powerful ejaculates has to do
with my muscle control because I really flex hard when I, and I like with my stomach muscles and
like my groin muscles and everything as I'm ejaculating. And I can get some range on that.
Let me read this to you. Signs of too much zinc include nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, stomach cramps,
diarrhea and headaches. When people take too much for a long time, they sometimes have
problems such as low copper levels, low immunity, lower levels of HDL cholesterol, the good
cholesterol. The upper limits for zinc are listed below. I'll skip ahead to adults where
it says 40 milligrams. So double up on that. You know what?
You need to be taking more copper to counteract the zinc, apparently. You need to just put as
much of these random metals into your body as possible. It'll make you healthier. I'm pretty
sure you're going to have shiny cums from your copper. It makes me very strong and powerful.
Do you take any other multivitamins?
Yeah.
For the purpose of being healthy?
Or is this all ejaculate related?
All ejaculate related.
I don't take vitamin B or calcium or anything.
I take zinc
and more loads XL
rhino or whatever.
I take multivitamins I figure they can't hurt unless you're like tripling up on what you're supposed to get like Kyle is but
even then like I feel like you're still mostly just gonna piss that out I
noticed a definite P color difference after I take multivitamins it's like I'm mostly just gonna piss that out.
I notice a definite pee color difference
after I take multivitamins.
It's like almost, it's like fresh painted road lines yellow.
Very, very bright.
That's exactly it.
I don't see them.
I'm still in a stage of unpacking,
so I'm not really sure where everything is right now.
If you're well hydrated, your pee should be just about clear.
That's how you know that you're properly hydrated.
But if you're on multivitamins, you can throw that out the window.
Your pee is going to be the color of Taylor's shirt, really.
But just the yellow part.
Yeah, you can never pee clear if you take multivitamins.
I don't know which ones are making it yellow, but hopefully not the ones I need.
Otherwise, this a pretty futility
like i want to believe that the multivitamins do something but then like if you do a google
like you'll see you know 50 different people being like why you're wasting your money on
multivitamins and like why it's such a scam it's like like i get it but it's like how could that
possibly be true are you telling me i don't absorb any of this shit yeah you're definitely getting some benefit other food that i'm digesting how is it not
mixing its way in you know yeah i take a like a hair nail and skin supplement biotin uh yeah
maybe so um it's in a red bottle and i take some krill oil uh I've got just a general men's energy vitamin
with a lot of B12 and B6 and other B vitamins
and B8, B9, 10, 11, all of them.
The whole nine.
All the numbers, yeah.
All 12 of the Bs.
And then I take my zinc
and that keeps me from just dying from the rest of what I do to my body.
I got a question for Dr. Kyle.
My wife is insistent that I get a flu shot, right?
But my thinking is it's practically February, right?
Flu season is ending.
It's wrapping up.
Am I not wasting my time and money at this point?
You could be wasting ones of dollars if you do this.
Several dollars in an hour.
Dollars.
Oh, wow.
I would not do it, but my reasoning would have nothing to do with money or time.
It would just be...
The pain?
All right, closely.
I was having fun.
It would be that you don't go out much you're not
getting exposed like if jackie were a school teacher and she's bringing home bugs all the time
she's she's just scooping them up at that school like like like when i was growing up my mom was
always bringing home the you know i'm in school obviously as a child and then my mom is going to
school with touching all those kids and and beating them or whatever whatever she does teaching them and
raising job entailed yeah i don't know reading to them and and we were all always sick you know so
it was it would be a good idea i have never gotten a flu shot ever um and i've i've only gotten the
flu once in my life and uh uh, it wasn't that bad.
Um, I just don't think you're going to get, it just seems weird that you would get the
flu.
Like, like maybe I think Colin does parkour.
I don't know if he still does that, but like, I get it.
So Colin goes to parkour.
I go to like, I don't know, just two days ago I was at a fly in with six guys or something.
Two weeks ago I was at a fly in with 200 people.
Everyone's shaking my hand
or whatnot like it's not like a hope comes home from college um yeah it's not like i'm a hermit
in here you know so uh so yeah but it's still uh like i said it's practically february yeah isn't
this it's over yeah yeah flu season's over and uh like like And by now, if there's any flu out there,
it's probably some new scary flu that that shot's not even going to help.
You know, they update the shot every year, you know,
because there's a new virus every year.
It's absurd.
They got it wrong this year.
So the way they do it is they look at whatever is in Australia,
and they anticipate it based on that strain.
And the one they mass-produced this year was apparently not the correct one.
And so a ton of people got flu shots and got sick anyway because influenza you know they were
prepared for influenza influenza b and that got influenza a but i think those are updated
throughout the year so they may have it right by now oh yeah maybe and i don't think it'd take you
an hour to do it at this point like i feel like you could just breeze right in like everybody who
was concerned about it got it like six weeks ago right are you right i already
had the flu this season where do you go to like the minute clinic at target or something and they
just pop you right up they have like pharmacies like where it'll say like you know come on in
nothing like getting a cvs cashier to give you a prick i trust trust him. Don't move. Don't move like
that last feller. I'll hit the bone.
You don't even trust yourself to sell cigarettes here
anymore.
I'm supposed to trust you?
Is this inside me?
That is a silly thing.
I don't buy cigarettes, so I'm not
really indifferent to whether or not
CVS sells them, but it is silly when you walk
in there, and instead of
every other store, where it is silly when you walk in there and instead of like every other store
where it's a bunch of tobacco products
and lighters and shit,
it's just like cologne.
Look, next time you go to a CVS,
it's like tons of colognes
like you're at a Macy's counter.
And it's like,
what jackass made this planogram decision
where they're like,
what do people like almost as much as tobacco?
I don't think that's the question.
What do people steal almost as much as tobacco is probably the question they asked.
Oh, maybe.
I just don't think that they are using that space very well.
I can't imagine how many people are buying their cologne at CVS, right?
Or maybe I'm just...
Some real scumbags.
Like when you picture that guy,'s a low class motherfucker like i imagine like a 23 year old guy
a 23 year old guy who goes to high school parties that's who's getting their their their curve
at cvs like it's that guy he's putting on a little bit of uh polo before he hits up the
the high school party and he's the guy with a handle of Jim Beam or whatever.
Hell yeah he is.
What a cool guy.
Kyle, I found a
WikiHow article, so we know it's
believable, about how to increase
your ejaculate the quick
and easy way. We're not looking
for the arduous and difficult path
to increase ejaculate volume.
We're looking for quick and easy. Number one is ones drink fluids number two is keep the heat away do you do you
do a good job keeping the heat away Kyle or do you often have a laptop on your
lap I almost never have a laptop my laptop doesn't get hot and and so it's
not an issue I don't think that's pretty good
avoid wearing tight underwear. Not a problem.
I mean, I think MeUndies are pretty tight, right?
I've got my boxers on right now, my MeUndies boxers.
So I've got boxers and boxer briefs.
So I kind of go back and forth.
You're wearing both right now?
Of course not.
That's goddamn ludicrous.
What are you doing there?
You couldn't pack everything, but...
Yeah, you should see it before it gets on the
airplane do you ever sit with your legs crossed kyle uh not like a girl you know where they're
completely crossed but you know i'll do the like what like the right angle one okay according to
this this cartoon image that the one you're saying is fine all right yeah do you uh it says abstain go
to number five on this link it's a picture of a guy considering masturbating but he's not imagining
someone masturbating he's imagining his own hand in his pants playing with his dick this is fucking
self-sexual deviant uh abstain from orgasm for a day or two. You produce 1,500 sperm every second on average,
and that works out to 130 to 200 million a day.
So when you cum, you lose a lot of your soldiers.
You know, that should burn more calories, right?
If every time I cum, I'm burning like 200 million sperm cells,
my metabolism should be through the roof.
Why am I able to produce sperm? It's such a... Because sperm are the smallest cells in the cells. My metabolism should be through the roof. Why am I able to produce sperm? It's such a...
Sperm are the smallest cells in the
body. My sperm creation
fuel efficiency is way too high.
I would like to see that burn all my fat.
Anyway. We're all like Priuses.
And Kyle, your point is
actually correct in part two. Take zinc
together with folic acid.
Mine has folic acid. It's both.
Wow. There you go. It says 1 mg of folic acid and 15 folic acid it's both wow there you go it says
one milligram of folic acid and 15 milligrams of zinc sulfate is
recommended so you are you're killing it like a lot of extra credit your loads
must smell like a you know fucking communion tray with change in it oh just
put it so the problem in the next one kick your your soda habit. Ooh, kick your soda habit.
I know you drink soda.
It's diet.
It says, compared to men who drink no soda,
those who drink more than a quart a day
have 30% lower sperm counts.
And it says the risky part is high fructose corn syrup.
So yeah, if you're drinking diet, you should be good.
Do you take L-arginine, L-lysine, or L-carnitine?
I'm sure that's in my multivitamins.
I hope it's true.
Try horny goat weed.
This doesn't sound very confident at all.
It sounds like they're just adding something.
Hey, you know, this couldn't hurt.
There's actually horny goat weed in my Rhino 50K.
Oh, then it's got to be good.
Covered.
Oh, this one is another one, kyle that i know you're coming
up very short eat lots of fruit and vegetables i'm strong there now just off the top of your
head when was the last time you had a vegetable a vegetable you say yes potatoes are not vegetables
shit I had a vegetable
25 minutes ago
and the show started like half an hour ago.
I like Kyle's face.
I could taste my own breath
because I ate those pizza fries
and chicken parmesan earlier.
Just garlic and evil on my breath.
I gotta get my smart mouth going.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I had a vegetable. parmesan earlier. Just garlic and evil on my breath. I gotta get my smart mouth going.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I had a vegetable.
Oh.
You don't have it every meal?
Like... I don't even...
You need a side.
French fries.
I can't remember the last time I had French fries.
Every meal! I can remember the last time I had french fries. Every meal! I can remember the last time I had french fries.
I order french fries for meals that they shouldn't even accompany.
I ordered Chinese the other day and I was like,
and french fries.
I can kind of remember.
Are there bell peppers in this dish?
Ugh, get them out! Get rid of them!
When I got my haircut with Colin,
I had french fries because I had to take them out.
But that was not – there was two haircuts ago.
That's the last time I had french fries.
Jesus Christ.
I have french fries every day.
Lots of ketchup.
I don't know.
I've been eating a lot of Chinese food lately.
So that's got vegetables in it, like onions and peppers and stuff,
like bell peppers, like inside the Kung Pao chicken.
So there's vegetables in there, I guess.
But the last time I had an actual fruit or vegetable that seemed healthy,
I have no idea.
I couldn't say.
I ate four donuts yesterday.
Are you kidding me?
I went to Walmart, and they just had the big dozen donuts, half chocolate covered, half glazed.
And I was like, yes.
I wonder how 44-year-old Kyle stacks up to me.
He may always have this magic trick of not getting heavy.
And his skincare regimen is light years
better than mine right that's true i just go out in the fucking sun and think this feels great
kyle's like daily sunscreening and stuff yeah absolutely i haven't gone a day without sunscreen
in years yeah i use sunscreen there's like your equivalent of vegetables for me i cannot remember
the last time i put sunscreen on every time i go out it's like my first of vegetables for me I cannot remember the last time I put sunscreen on
Every time I go out
It's like my first time outside
Where I'll be halfway through a float
And be like oh no again
I'm so burned
Halfway through a float?
Like a river float
You don't wear sunscreen in that environment?
I have forgotten before
Well I am in the middle on this
I thought I was going to be worse
But I'm sure your skin is tempered, I am in the middle on this. I thought I was going to be worse.
Yeah, but I'm sure your skin is tempered from being
out in the ocean for so long.
I don't think it actually works like that.
Tempered?
Like he's Kevin Costner from
Waterworld and he's evolved
to just take it? No.
What will happen is throughout the summer
I'll get a bit of a tan.
It's not like I can't mow without burning to a crisp or something.
But we actually sunscreen before that.
Buy this and every morning after you get out of the shower,
five pumps into your hand, rub your hands together,
and rub it on your face until it's all gone.
It's Jack Black, not the actor, face moisturizer.
All right.
I will absolutely not do that.
Oh.
Man, that's like, it's 28 bucks. I don't care that much
And and if I'm being honest that that's only like three ounces of it I you you've got to pay $50 to get a normal sized bottle of this stuff. How long is one of those last year?
I've only been through
Like months like months because they do like five pumps a day, you know, it lasts for months.
Yeah.
So there's aspects of Kyle that would make him age worse.
And there are aspects of Kyle that would make him age better.
And I want to see how he turns out.
I can tell like my energy is better when I'm not like,
like it happened this morning.
I had an early meeting this morning and someone had had Panera bring in bagels and shit.
I didn't have any because I'm trying to not eat like shit.
And I swear to God, you could tell that everybody who chose to have a bagel 90 minutes later were the ones like, okay, yeah.
Like you're not with it as much anymore because it's like, yeah, you just put yourself into a coma basically.
I have food naps um like like i like if i eat a huge meal it's like like right afterwards i'm
like whoa all right it i i gotta go take a nap i gotta go take it i i'm gonna give this an hour
see how see how i feel after this and i'll have to go take a nap for sure like when i ate one of
those giant indian food feasts there was always an hour and a half nap after that.
I don't like that.
I don't like feeling that sluggish.
Before I work out, I usually have a giant mixing bowl full of baby spinach with a little bit of dressing.
And then like 12 ounces of tilapia that I make on the stove with like lemon pepper shit on it.
And wolf it all down.
And, you know, it's not good.
But it's food. It's fuel. And so then i go straight from that to work it out and i don't ever feel like sleepy or like sad
like i just feel energized you know i don't usually eat during the day very much um like i
it's it's usually five before i eat at all at least and sometimes it's late before I eat at all sometimes I don't start
until 8 9 p.m yeah I don't blame you there sometimes like my eating window will just be
between like 4 p.m and midnight because like I'm just I'm never hungry in the morning I don't eat
breakfast and then for lunch sometimes I just get caught up and I'm too busy and I'll be like I'll
just make a big drink I get I am always hungry and usually lately for like the last i don't know 10 days or so and it's not everyday sometimes i
skip breakfast but when i do have breakfast it's fruit that's my new thing i'll just have like
grapes and clementines and stuff like that yeah it's not good for you i don't think you're right
dr kyle it's all sugar you're probably right about it. It's not keto. Fruit is not bad for you.
It's terrible for you.
It's your actual fruit.
Nah, you eat like one clementine would be okay.
One of those little bullshit oranges, maybe.
But then, you know, that's still probably like just a ton of sugar.
Just coffee.
Just coffee for breakfast.
The hunger goes away.
You starve yourself.
A ton of something else is 40 calories.
I know because I had a couple and I looked it up the other day just because I was curious.
If you eat the actual
fruit, then you get all the fiber.
That's what makes it reasonable for you.
You need a bunch of bunches.
That's why it's bullshit to drink
orange juice instead of just
eating the tangerine or eating the orange.
It'll be a clementine
and then a fistful of blueberries,
a fistful of grapes, and that's breakfast.
I like bananas.
But apparently those aren't keto either.
I like bananas a lot.
Yeah.
I said I was doing keto because I used a keto page as like my first guideline.
But apparently what I do is not very keto.
So I try to eat clean.
If I could just describe it, there's probably a better way to lose weight. But I just try to eat clean. If I could just describe it, there's probably a better way to lose weight,
but I just try to eat clean.
You know goddamn well those M&Ms are off limits, so keep them off limits.
Yeah, and you've got to be out of goddamn control
if your fruit consumption is what's pushing you over the ledge.
How many fares do you have to be eating for a doctor to be like,
your fructose is off the charts.
You have way too many blueberries,
Mr. Woodward. What the fuck?
I started lifting weights.
Oh, nice. Are you on the new
squat bench set up and everything?
I am. Yeah, yeah. It actually took a little
while to get that assembled.
It's more work than you might guess.
I bet altogether it was like 10 or
12 hours or something to put everything together.
And that's the kind of thing I'm good at.
Like I didn't make any wrong turns or anything.
It was just a bunch of work.
And I started.
There was a guy on the PKA subreddit actually who gave me like a good beginner's workout.
And it even tells you when they're like, you're going to do more but this is where you start you know you're already thinking about
things you want to add to this there's an exercise you had in mind that's not
on this isn't there don't and and I did it and at the end of the workout I felt
like I didn't do enough and then three hours after the workout I saw would be
an exaggeration but I was like yeah I'm worked today in the in the shower day later my quads are like recovering so i guess
it wasn't as weak as i thought it was i'll be ready for tomorrow like what routine are you doing
are you still kind of fiddling around trying to hammer it down um well i expect to be adding to
it as i get stronger but um let me see if there's a name for it. One moment. It is the Frax
Gray Skull Linear Progression Program. And it's basically a lot of combination movements. If you
don't know, you probably do. If there's someone listening, well, there's isolation movements,
where maybe you put your biceps on a preacher bench and just do curls and really focus on those biceps. And then there are combination movements, things like pushups
and bench press and overhead press and squats that work a dozen muscles at one time. And apparently
for a noob like me, you start with these combination movements. You don't try to isolate
your deltoids and really get them cranking. So, uh, that's good. I'm glad you're doing that.
Yeah.
Cause we'll have more to talk about.
Okay.
I'm particularly glad,
glad that,
um,
you know what?
I found an exercise routine that I was going to start with that I think had the same philosophy,
but,
uh,
you know,
I feel like this guy really pointed me in the right direction.
So we got going.
Yeah.
There's a lot of good YouTube channels that were helpful for me,
like trying to figure it out and like watch the right ones and just watch
like you like form and all that shit.
And like,
uh,
but there's also a bunch of shitty ones to where all I watch the video and
I'll be like,
okay,
I'm tracking,
this makes sense.
I'll go in the comments and it's like some other fitness channel,
like bullshit.
Nonsense.
And I'm like, Oh no, I i was i rused or is this guy the
ruseman so i i i've lived in weights before so a lot of the exercises i know proper form
but i wanted to watch them together with colin colin and i are doing the same workout program
and uh and he doesn't know how to do an overhead press with proper form so i watched all these
videos now youtube is recommending these videos to me.
And I'm like, look, man, I just want to get a little swole.
Like I'm not totally – they're like, oh.
But YouTube thinks I give a shit that this woman is using fake weights on her Instagram.
I don't.
Oh, exactly.
I've got the gist of that too where like I just see the thumbnail and it's some dude with like 10 plates on both sides.
And I click it because I'm like, that's bananas.
And then it's like, hey, this is steveshealthfitnesschannel.com.
And Joey, the power lifter Cortez, is using fake weights.
And I'm going to go through the next 13 minutes with you and tell you.
And I'm like, no, you're not.
Are you familiar with the wall sit? You know what a you, and I'm like, no, you're not. No, you're not.
Are you familiar with the wall sit?
You know what a wall sit is.
I think everybody does.
Yeah, you see that for hockey all the time.
Okay, for anyone who doesn't know,
you kinda, you put your back against the wall
and sit like you were in a chair,
but it's a make believe chair.
Well, you can stack weights up on your thighs
and make it harder.
This woman did it with 900 pounds on her thighs fake weights and uh this
guy is like this is unbelievable so he measured out 900 pounds worth of 45 pound full plates
and he's like here's some real weights if you can do this then knock yourself out because it's 20
plates yeah the record is a dude who did a thousand pounds for five seconds
So this woman claims she could do 900 pounds for like 90 seconds
It was like a minute and a half right not five seconds that bananas right like well, so she's like I can do it
And right away, I'm thinking what the fuck are you thinking right? He's got the weights in front of why you say?
You should have been like, you know what?
Busted.
But no, she's like, start stacking them.
So she wall sits, and these two guys, one after another,
are just putting 900 pounds on her laps.
Predictably, she collapses all the way to the floor.
And you know, she's sitting there going like,
I wonder if I can actually do this.
Yes!
Yes!
And she did better than I expected.
She got up to like 600 pounds or something.
I don't know.
And then all the weights collapsed.
One of the weights hit her in the head.
The only guy that seemed to give a crap about her was the one proving she used fake weights.
So then after that happens and they pull the weights off her, like toys fell on top of her,
she wants to try again
and she does try again and to my surprise same thing happens weights falling all over i thought
her legs were gonna break there's a lot of weight on her and she's collapsing sideways and her ankle
bent but in the end she was just like i guess i don't have it today but they were real weights
oh what a dumb bitch i'm looking at this now.
Did you see the video? The same one?
I'm not watching the debunked.
I'm watching the one from the Spartan Girls channel.
Her legs don't look nearly big enough to deal with this.
No.
Oh.
And these are not the spotters you want when you're working with 1,000 pounds either.
Like, these guys are buff.
These guys are in shape.
But I feel like you want some real muscle heads for that sort of thing, right?
Somebody who can really dig you out from beneath the rubble.
These guys seem—
Also, you wouldn't want to be just stacking them like this.
Like, once you get to a critical mass of height, like, it's just an issue of balance issue of balance like the mountain could be sitting there but he's not even tall enough to hold 20
45 pound plates they're gonna fall and crush some kid walking by this is stupid she's yeah this is
ridiculous this is a different person by the way that wow but this is like if you're gonna lie
about a record be realistic like if i was gonna lie about being the person who ran the fastest
mile ever they're like taylor taylor tell us about your lie about being the person who ran the fastest mile ever,
they're like, Taylor, Taylor, tell us about your mile.
What was the time?
What was the time?
41 seconds.
That's incredible.
Can you do it for us now?
Nah, no time.
No time.
Yeah.
What was that time?
Like nine minutes and ten seconds.
I guess I don't have it today.
Yeah, that's what this woman did.
She was like, all right, I'll give it a go just in case maybe somehow by chance this is the day where she's the super her yeah i watched a bodybuilding uh show on netflix and or not bodybuilding power
lifting and like none of those guys like could go up there and they're like all right thor bjornsson
is gonna try and put this 500 pound log over his head three times and like at no point were
any of them like oh this is much easier than I anticipated like I didn't like no
it's like they're grunting they're working like they knew all year that was
the weight they had to do and still some of them are like just not able to do it
because the human body like struggles so for this bitch say she can hold 900
pounds in her legs she has no respect for the intelligence of anyone else watching her content
like or she's just kind of an idiot and she's super hot she could be an instagram model without
lying this is a lifetime of never being told no yeah she worked hard for her hotness which i kind
of respect right like it there's there's hot girls
that you can tell just won the genetic lottery and and she may have done that but on top of that
she works really hard to have one of those fit girl bodies and but you don't have to lie about
been doing like ass pics and all the whole instagram thing and show what she actually
can lift like if she's actually strong,
like nobody expects a woman to be able to be putting up records near men.
Like don't set yourself up for failure.
Like if you would have done it with 500 pounds or something,
I don't know what would be the impressive amount for a woman.
Like everybody would have been like, wow, that's really cool.
Like that's impressive.
Nobody would have been like, yeah,
well that six foot four behemoth monster man did a thousand pounds.
So you're just a weakling
Yeah, and and like you're getting it I don't think you even have to have the girls record you don't have to have a record at all
You could just be good and hot
There's a girl named Helga in Eastern Europe right now who's genuinely doing this shit, but she looks like a cow's rear end
So nobody's
Nobody realized she was a woman.
I was so tired of being beat out by these whores.
I just thought she was one of the stronger guys.
I had no idea that she had a vagina.
And once again, the conversation goes back to Cyborg,
about to fight Amanda Nunes.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that fight.
That's going to be good.
Cyborg won't sign
what yeah i bet she's i bet she's dirty i bet she's i bet she's i bet she's on something right
now don't make taylor right about the fact that these conversations are always the same
don't make taylor right like i i listen to tons of sports radio this is what the conversations are
you rehash
and then you rehash some more
and the people listen to it
there's only like three things you can say
I swear I listen to so much professional radio
we're so much better than
I listened to the Jim and Sam show the other day
we're so much better than their show
we're so much
well Jim wasn't there
Jim Norton and Sam Roberts Jim wasn't so much better than their show. Not very good. What are their last names?
Jim Norton and Sam Roberts.
How could that be?
Jimmy wasn't in the studio. It was just Sam
Roberts and he had Ari Shafir in.
I feel like we're funnier than
them. I really do.
Sam Roberts,
he admittedly
back in the ONA days, there were some times where he
had some funny contributions to the show
But my goodness
He his voice is arguably the worst radio voice in the history of the world like it's it's so
Nasally so like hehehe like his cackly laugh like it's it's it's baffling when you see this guy of like wow
You thought you're in radio.
Like, it's a very annoying voice, and he and Jimmy do not have good chemistry, I don't think.
Like, compared to what Jimmy and Anthony...
Jimmy, Patrice, all them shooting the shit, those are great.
Something interesting that came out of that show,
the particular episode I was watching,
was it turned out that they were discussing the X Games thing.
Vince McMahon bringing back the X Games.
$200 million of his own money.
He sold $200 million of his stock.
Oh, the XFL.
XFL, I'm sorry.
And it's coming in 2020,
so he's giving himself two years for the lead time.
Can I interrupt? This is Jim McMahon, the ex's giving himself two years for the lead time. Can I interrupt?
This is Jim McMahon, the ex-quarterback?
Vince McMahon.
Vince McMahon, the WWE guy.
An occasional wrestler who's in brilliant shape.
Like, that guy's 72 years old.
He's buff.
He's out there taking stunners. You sure it's not Ed McMahon?
I almost want to hear the tape.
I heard who used to give money door to door before
he died i heard jim mcmahon i need to listen back to it it was right around 42 minutes
either i'm crazy or kyle said it funny i don't know one of those is true the uh the macho man
himself uh is bringing back the uh uh the xfl and they were they were discussing that do you know who the original hosts like sideline hosts of the xfl were back in 1999
was trump involved oh and op and anthony really really trump was involved in the xfl though
i i have no idea about that i didn't know ona did that i'm sure trump would show up anywhere
where they will give him a spotlight.
Oh, you're thinking of Trump and Vince McMahon
during WWE stuff would do billionaire battles
as a stunt where Vince McMahon would have his big,
quote, rival Donald Trump come up
and they'd do their wrestling bit.
Great.
That was great.
It's a pretty funny gif.
I love that gif. That's our president president that's the president of the united states that's a guy with hundreds and hundreds of intercontinental nuclear
missiles at his command out there on stage shaving a man's head for for an audience hillbillies i'm
looking forward to it like the xfl because, because Vince McMahon, I've never watched anything
about wrestling in my life. Seems kind of silly
to each their own, but I don't really get it.
But he is a born entertainer,
Vince McMahon. Like, he's
hilarious. Like, if you just watch his YouTube
clips of highlights of WWE,
like his facial expressions,
all of it. It's a hoot.
And he's like 73 or something.
72. I had no idea he was that old, because he looks like, I can't tell if it's a hoot and he's like in his he's like 73 or something 72 i had no idea he was that old because he looks like i can't tell if it's like a like his wikipedia pictures just from a
long time ago but like i would not have pegged that guy for being as old let me see if i can
find a picture of him from this year because uh you know at one point like like five years ago he looked like a buff 45 year old man like he
was just crazy ripped like he got big he's definitely on steroids or something oh yeah
i don't doubt it i'm looking it up trump had some level of involvement with the xfl but i can't
figure out what it is what he was really involved with with was the USFL, which was a league that tried to replace the NFL a while back.
I don't remember the USFL.
Yeah, the USFL did pretty well,
and they actually tried to take on the NFL
by competing during the same season,
and then they got destroyed.
Whereas the XFL, their first,
they were on Saturday nights
Beginning in like January February that's that was their season So they completely avoided the NFL and their opening night was incredible ratings bonanza
And then afterwards it would just really tanked and they would not give them a second season maybe on ABC
I don't remember the network
Yeah, this it's pretty clear Vince McMahon was on some roids for most of his career.
Big boy.
Yeah.
I wish Woody would get on roids.
He's got the steroid traps.
Yeah, I casually dropped it around my wife.
Like, yeah, you know, I think I should get on some TRT, a little testosterone.
Well, why not?
And she basically thinks that
i'll start being like a more aggressive dick yes her big concern absolutely will i mean you're
already um i mean i would it would definitely change the flavor of dick that i am right like
i'm a pretty uh passive aggressive dick now right if we would have dropped the passive from that
right if we would have dropped the passive from that who wants that see i literally brought oh i brought this up as like a a bit talking to that uh actually that same girl a week ago
she's a nurse so she knows shit about medicine like one of the ones that's been to school for
a while not like the fly by night you know year and a half of school kind of one right and i was
like oh yeah and the like a buddy of mine
and i for a bit we're gonna do uh i was gonna get this dick pill off the internet and take it and
she was like you did not take one of those bootleg dick pills did you i'm like oh no
she was like because those are horrible for you you don't know what's in there and i'm like yeah
there were a lot of words misspelled on the packaging so we knew what we were getting it to make your dick harder than uh it ever been
and uh i was like oh another like funny thing we're talking about getting on like testosterone
like trt uh treatments and like immediately she's like you're not doing that like that's
that's you would freak the fuck out like if you put a 26 year old with what she
assumed to have the high testosterone on a replacement one like apparently your body just
like is like oh man i didn't know we had this much testosterone let's shut down production
completely you know pack it up boys the factories are closing and then you know you get off of it
and you're you're butt fucked so you do not that. For Kyle, you're too young too.
Yeah, I said, oh, my buddy's 31.
What do you think there?
He's like, well, is he like really fat?
And I was like, he's on his way.
He's trying.
Yeah, he's against all odds.
Yeah, for me, that might be.
But you didn't ask for me.
You didn't bring me up.
Come on, Taylor.
How come I'm not involved in your love life on the side? Because everybody knows if you're in your mid-40s, that's prime time to be doing it.
Right.
That's what Joe Rogan said.
I think Jackie's incorrect about this.
Your testosterone is way, way lower than it was.
So it's going to just get you back up to probably 30-year-old you or something.
I mentioned it to my doctor, and she brushed me off.
She?
You have a female doctor? I a dude you need a man you need to be like hey i'm just not hitting it like i used to i
i i'm getting i'm getting sleepy early in the day like like i i i'm too young for a rocking chair
you gotta pump me up you gotta pump me up our neighbor he's this he's this 28 year old good-looking guy I see my wife glancing
at him I can't have this you got a you got a you gotta give me some yet I need
some tea testosterone come on say is true. Weave a web.
No, I'm not going to start lying.
Just paint a picture for him that he'll be sympathetic
toward. If you just tell
the truth, it's like, hey,
I kind of want to experiment with
completely changing my hormone
structure at this point in my
life, you know, for shits and gigs.
I want to show we all
think it'd be a hoot if I took some steroids.
Tell him that.
He's going to get the fuck out of here.
You know, give him a reason.
Some friends and I, for a farce, we're going to be doing it.
It's like, no, you got to actually go into it being like,
hey, man, my dick sucks now and I'm old.
You know, when I broke my bone, I also asked my orthopedic surgeon about it.
And I was serious. I was like, look, I also asked my orthopedic surgeon about it. And I was serious.
I was like, look, I'm trying to heal completely.
I'm trying to heal fast.
Let's approach this like I'm an athlete.
Should we get some TRT going on and a little testosterone?
I read that.
And he's like, no.
No, we should not.
That is not a good idea.
It's not smart, et cetera.
You call him a pussy right away?
I think he would kick my ass.
And he's 10
years older than me yeah he's on it he's keeping it for himself that's it that's it he probably
prescribed it for me and kept it he prescribed it for you and kept it oh double dosing baby
double dosing it's like this veins popping he's like bane from batman
but yeah they weren't down for it at all.
Unrelated, they were down for PRP.
There's a contractor in the house right now with his wife who helps him.
So I'm trying to be nice and obnoxious for Kitty.
She's trying to explain like a water stain on the ceiling.
She wants to get fixed.
And I'm just, I'm in here.
We had a contractor at the house for a water stain today as well.
Who went to dance? We had a contractor at the house for a water stain today as well.
Who went to dance?
Was yours named Mark too?
Barry.
Well, no, probably not.
That's the end of it then.
That's where it stops.
Well, I kind of want to go get this testosterone just to show how easily it can be done.
I feel like you just got to ask.
I don't think they're going to give it to you unless you have low testosterone. Would you just put a secret recording device in your pocket?
I mean, is that too much to ask?
Can you not have your phone?
No, it's not too much to ask.
Yeah, absolutely.
I've got the app, you know.
Is there an app that does that?
There's apps that do all kinds of things.
Yes, there is.
I have an app that does that.
You know, the phone will show that nothing is happening, but it is in fact recording audio
for
purposes.
Let's do that like the way
Dennis did it in It's Always
Sunny, where he wears a GoPro on a
necklace around his chest
when he's recording
Frank.
That's so sweet.
Frank doesn't know what a GoPro is.
Did you see Ozzark on netflix they taught you how to launder money in netflix on on the show ozark and it literally involved
laundry machines like the problem was that you had to rough it up and make it look like used money
i'm pretty sure that's not the case. Well, are they counterfeiting money?
No, they are laundering money.
So for people who don't know,
this is my understanding of money laundering.
I earn income through some source that I can't prove.
So what I need to do is make it look like
I earned this in an honest way.
That way I can explain away my mansion and my cars
and all those other things.
So like follow the Breaking Bad model, I can explain away my mansion and my cars and all those other things. So, like,
follow the Breaking Bad model, I open a car wash. It doesn't really matter how successful this car
wash is. I get five cars a day, and I show $80,000 worth of income per day. I pay taxes on that
income, and sure, I lose like 30% of it or 40% of it to taxes, but now it's honest money. If you
have tons of money like that, you've
laundered it. You've put it through the car wash. You've put it
through that jewelry store or the apartments or whatever.
And on the other side of it,
you can explain where it came from.
That's laundering money.
I always thought that they did the laundry machine
or the laundromat because
that's a cash-based business, not because they had to
throw it in a sack and
put it on a cycle. You're completely right.
Well, if you're getting paid with
blocks of newly
minted bills that look pristine,
then it would make sense
to throw it in a laundry machine before you take it
to the bank, because they're going to be like,
this came from another bank!
These are all in order!
What the fuck
yeah
who pays for their car wash with bricks of cash
because someone at the bank would report you
you know there's all kind of rewards that
are like kind of secret
that employees have
like that
oh yeah
if they turn in a counterfeiter they get a massive bonus
there's a lot of things that are like that.
Makes sense.
You'd want to incentivize that because otherwise you could be like,
hey, I'm going to put all this money in the bank.
Oh, no, I dropped $300,000 by your feet.
Don't worry about that.
Too much trouble.
Keep it.
If you watch TV, they're like, oh, my God.
If you make a deposit over like 10 grand,
then they notify the IRS and all these alarms get set off and whatever.
It's a withdrawal.
It's a withdrawal?
Of cash.
I don't think I've...
I've made a lot of big deposits, but I don't know that I've made that many big withdrawals.
Sometimes I like to get some money out and play with it.
Yeah. Now that you say it. Do you physically play to get some money out and play with it. Yeah.
Now that you say it.
Yeah, like play with it.
That's how you launder it.
He puts it in the bed and rolls around,
rubs it on his chest.
Yeah, yeah. It's fun.
It's for Instagram, right? You just spread it out,
take pictures, put it back in the bank.
No, I would never show anyone my
money playing. That's completely obnoxious.
Anyone who's literally
bragging about cash
is just... I find that super...
I don't know
what the word is.
It's really gauche.
Yeah, thank you. It's gauche.
Very low class. Very new money.
Quite trashy.
You don't want... want the amount you see being
played with is never like wow like that's insane like someone's it'll be
like those are 20s like like people have like have the money in front their face
and you're like that's like eight hundred thirty seven dollars bro like
like it's I got eight hundred got 837 that happened um so there was like a
publicity tour to pimp the Mayweather versus McGregor fight Conor McGregor
Mayweather shows up with a backpack full of cash just to show like what a baller
he is and McGregor every fucking press conference he steals something from the
other guy like their belt their water
their whatever mayweather's talking shit and mcgregor runs up and takes his backpack full of
money you know and then he holds it he's like these are 20 these are fucking 20 there's like
five grand in here what's the big deal it's like five grand yeah i bank online
it totally worked.
Like Floyd Mayweather money.
He's this big baller.
He's got diamond studs and a baseball hat and other ridiculous things.
And then, yeah, he only had five grand in his backpack.
And most people, a lot of people could get their hands on five grand.
Absolutely.
If you can't get your hands on five grand and you're not like
you're probably starting off at life you're probably yeah i was gonna say that like there's
a difference between like poor people and young people like you're supposed to be poor if you're
young like you're just starting off like you know you're yeah i i just started a new fallout
character i don't have shit right doesn't mean doesn't mean it's a bad Fallout character.
She's not poor.
She's just getting started in the Commonwealth.
Sure, she's only got a pipe pistol and
50 rounds of.38 Special, but
she's on the ride up.
Any day now, she's going to have many
nukes and a minigun
and a bunch of followers with her. It's going to be
great. Her titties are enormous.
Does she wear clothes?
Does she have bottoms on?
Initially, they were all naked.
But I've gotten a little more classy.
They all have these skin-tight nano-suits now.
That is classy.
But I've installed enough mods that I now have a body slider,
so I can change the size of the areola,
how long the nipple is, whether it's pointing
up or down.
I can make them cross-eyed, looking all crazy.
You don't.
I don't.
There's too many options.
I wish I could show you my body slide.
It's called Body Slide.
That's what it's called.
But I use a preset called Oatmeal Girls.
Or maybe it's Oatmeal Boonie.
Oh, I think I know what that's a big...
What is a fat-ass white woman called?
A pog.
Yeah, yeah. It's just thick
ladies, like thicker than oatmeal, I think,
is the reference. And then I give them bigger
titties. And then I push those titties
together to give more cleavage.
And then I usually put them in a zip suit that's unzipped.
And I use them You play the game.
Whenever I'm about to play,
I spend a long night of character creation.
That's exactly how I picture Kyle playing.
I've been putting some time in.
I'm currently running 90 mods.
I have a question for you.
You posted a desk picture and I didn't spot it,
but people on the subreddit said that you had OBS installed on that.
Are we about to see some Kyle live streaming going on?
No, not about to.
Okay.
Eventually, but not immediately or anything.
Maybe next month uh maybe the month
is in two days you know what i mean i was hoping i didn't um you know maybe maybe in 30 days maybe
in 60 days maybe uh maybe in a year in 30 days we'll see we'll see so you don't um why is the live streaming tied into that?
Because I don't want to start and then stop.
I don't want to start live streaming,
and then they sentence me to like three months in jail.
And I'm like, all right, guys,
it's been fun streaming the last few weeks.
I got a decent-sized audience buildup.
We've been keeping to our schedule.
Well, I'm going to vamp out,
put a little bit of an only-use- Me blade now, and go do some time.
So I'll see you guys soon.
People don't know about that.
I didn't know. I don't know either.
I just meant that Only Use Me blade
disappears for periods
at a time.
Oh, right. But I'm not going to pull
a blade and do some time.
That didn't say a thing.
I don't know.
It wasn't a thing until you made it a thing.
Right, that was on me.
It is totally it.
You know what?
I think I can agree.
I escalated it, but you definitely made it a thing.
I don't care.
So that's the reason.
I'm going to wait until all my legal shenanigans are all settled up.
And then I'm definitely going to do some live streaming.
And as to whether I want to do Twitch or YouTube, I'm not really sure.
Whichever is going to make the most money.
I'll figure that out when I figure it out.
But yeah, I've got OBS.
And I've got everything I need to stream.
My new computer, I clicked buy on Saturday.
stream. My new computer, I clicked buy on Saturday. I have a daily limit of $3,000 on my debit card, so bank declined. So Monday I called the bank and I'm like, hey, raise
my limit. This is bullshit. And so they raised my daily limit to $5,000. And apparently there
was some sort of two minute period in which if if if it processed
then during the two hours that they raised it it wouldn't work and i buy power initiated the
purchasing during those two minutes according to my bank i think they were just lazy and fucked up
got declined again so i called them today and i was like all right they've raised my limit to
five thousand dollars for two days your window is is enormous
Make this thing happen, and I have yet to get my confirmation email from them
But but yeah, I put together a very nice PC. I got an i7 8700 K and 1080 Ti
And you know 32 gigs of the good RAM, whatever the fastest RAM was,
a couple of SSDs, an M.2 running my operating system in my games,
and then a 500-and-something gigabyte SSD running everything else.
I really don't need very much storage space.
And I got a Asus Formula Hero motherboard,
and so that thing will be taking over pretty soon.
I'm excited.
That is a nice PC.
I have a new PC myself coming together.
As you know, I put most of it together during the Hangout.
And now I'm just waiting on the video card to show up.
And then we'll fire it up.
And I don't expect it to be for this week's show.
But I wouldn't be surprised if it was for the next one.
So it's mostly done.
Yeah, that's awesome.
I got my desk put together yesterday.
It wasn't that hard, but it was labor-intensive.
You know, whenever you're crawling on hardwood on your hands and knees,
screwing in bolts, it can get frustrating quickly.
But I got it done.
I really like the entire top surface of this desk is an enormous
mouse pad. I really
like that. Like, I mean, it's
a gigantic seven pound mouse pad.
I'm digging it. And it's all color
coordinated, so I'm into that too.
The new PC is also red and black, so
I'm looking forward to
getting this thing going.
You gotta go
attend to your lady taylor yeah taylor maybe change it to
something a bit more classy taylor will you be able to tell us at a high level how the date went
on the show you know i'm not asking asking for what your cum smells like.
On a high level, I can let you know.
Hopefully it goes well.
Yeah.
You know, I would like even details of the first half of the date.
How did the cooking go? Just leave your camera on.
What are you going to sit?
What are you going to do?
Don't make me creepy.
We'll just turn our videos on.
Yes.
And we'll just sit here and watch.
No, don't do that.
No, I'm not going to do that.
I also have other things to do.
What are those two men doing watching a scene?
Oh, pay no attention to them.
No, it won't be two men.
It'll just be this retarded chef.
He'll be watching.
Mel Howard Kalin.
That's his name.
That's a very niche reference.
Hopefully it helps.
If you want to know what I'm talking about,
find Retarded Chef on YouTube.
He's got his own little cooking show.
He's retarded, he's a chef, and he cooks chicken.
Cross-contaminating everything with salmonella.
It's a very funny video.
All right.
PKN, episode 180.