Painkiller Already - PKN #183

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

It's PKN time baby!

We got Age Empires to play. Painkiller Nearly, episode 183. I'll throw this out there, just want to start with it. I have a new computer, so tell me how everything's going. Like, if you see something that seems right or wrong, give me the feedback. I'd much rather catch it on PKN than PKA. It's like terrorism. If you see something, say something. Thank you. Yes, yeah, yeah.

So, for whatever reason, my everyday mic isn't good so i'm using this one i'll play with that when the guys aren't waiting on me but yeah so uh what were we just talking about there's something that i wanted to like i was like i gotta start at this we were we uh taylor and i were saying um that i wish everybody would be nicer to wings and you were like no fuck that fat pig um i hope i hope he dies in mexico and his family can't afford to ship him back or something this all sounds right so he's he's he's 100 set on his mexico trip no Taylor. Jesus, don't you understand? He needs $40,000 or $50,000 more. Taylor, you are days behind.

What if he has to pay a ransom while he's there? You know what's funny? He needs burrito money. I only keep up with Wings to the extent that you guys inform me about him. I'm there with you, though. I'll think that I'm pretty up to date, and then a new Tuesday will come around,

and I'll be like, so he's going to Mexico, and Kyle will be like oh that's so Friday evening no no no no no now we're doing XY so has anything changed did he finally say I'm going to save up for American surgery or has he not said that? No he's going to fucking Mexico that is his plan you know he's

gotten a passport and everything you know the interesting thing and like whenever he's like called out on this let me start from the start he's got like twenty thousand dollars it's more than that now i would say it's twenty five thousand dollars i don't have access to his bank account anymore but i i would say it's something like that right like he was at 20 and then he made like 2500 the other night he's got two thousand yeah yeah and don't don't sit on it though and and he's so he's got all this money well plenty to

get this the surgery's five thousand dollars plus another grand for bariatric um what's the surgery where they go through tiny holes right is that bariatric no no it's it's arthroscopic arthroscopic thank you okay yeah and uh and then another grand because he's supersized or whatever. Like, he's bigger than normal. Like, you pay by the pound, I guess, at a certain point. So it's $7,000 plus airline, which he was like, that could range from $200 a ticket to $1,000 a ticket. Airlines don't charge by the pound wings. You are not cargo.

So you could price line that and know the answer literally in seconds like i mean look let me i'll do it while we discuss this um and uh and so they ask him you know what's going on with the surgery when's it happening well you know uh it's still saving up this month it's like what what are you counting on that you're going to need like 10 extra thousand dollars? And we've accounted for as much as eight or nine so far. Yeah, I know. Well, he's going to be off his feet for a little bit. So he needs some money to keep him going.

Right. Oh, yeah. It'd be hard to game in his condition. I see. I don't know. I don't know. But I know that abdominal surgery can be pretty tough to come back from and that it's not unreasonable to say that this man might need two weeks off or even three right if there is a job where you can come right back from it well because when you

think about it it's it's like what when they tell you you're recovering from surgery it's like what should you do well go watch tv you know maybe play some video games relax you know like that's what it would be it would just be a more active, verbal version of it. Well, they're not anticipating the physical activities that accompany video games like controller destruction, controller locating, controller hide-and-go-seek, wall pounding. You're right, I'm a fool.

I didn't think ahead. I'm a dick. Why did I bring that up? But anyway, yes. So I can see why he'd want... No, I don't know why he roped paying off the mortgage into his surgery costs. Did he? Oh, I didn't make that up.

I know I saw it on one hate video or something. Yeah. But he said he was talking about how he wanted to get away from Twitch. Twitch isn't his dream life. So he wants to make enough money off Twitch and then pay off the mortgage and start the next chapter. Which is disability. Well, he didn't say that. And it would seem like this surgery would prevent disability.

I don't know. Eventually. That's the dream, right? That's the dream, yeah. But anyway, I think he wanted his mortgage paid off so that while he was laid up, he wouldn't have the burden of bills. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's your answer, Wings.

I literally found it while I was talking about what you've said. It's $500 roughly. That's the average. It's $500, $600 if you get a little bit more expensive. That's the answer. That's Myrtle Beach, San Diego, and back. One ticket. You'll need two, of course, to get your mother along.

And then, of course, there's that poor, poor man who'll be sitting with the two of you. But maybe not so bad, right? Because Wings, is his mother coming i i just absolutely was his grandmother but and i know that she's really small well his grandmother is quite ill right now and i didn't think it through and they don't let you smoke on the flights so it's a long flight dude it's six hours i i mean that's why i took up fuck the man she's gonna have to get like chewing tobacco or something to make it through. She dips while she smokes so she can double up already.

She's been cramming it. You can't be being serious. Of course I'm not. Some people are like that. No, she doesn't dip in her mouth. She does, however, cram it between her toes. Wow, I believe that wholeheartedly. I've seen people do it.

It's a hockey story. It's a hockey story. No, he's going with his mama. I believe that wholeheartedly. I've seen people do it. No, he's going with his mama. Mama Wings is going along on the flight, and Grandma will stay at home. But I saw him speaking to his grandma the other day, and he's like, you're going to be my support structure, right? She's like, yeah. He's like, how do you think the surgery's going to be? She's like, I think it's going to be good.

And I'm like, all right, that's good. He's got a how do you think this surgery is going to be? She goes, I think it's going to be good. And I'm, all right, that's good. He's got a support structure in place. He's got someone to kind of help him convalesce when he gets back. So, yeah, man, he's got all the money he could possibly need to do this. He's got, if I were going to Tijuana for donkey shows and whores and Mexican party drugs or whatever you want to do down there you've got plenty of money that's about the that's what you take you you've got it you've got plenty of money to do this thing never no of course not i wouldn't go i'd get kidnapped that's what happens i wouldn't go down there and i like you got away i'm not that big a partier right and there's some i think it who's

the mexican boxer who won like almost 100 fights or something like that he was very good and no it was a little older than him camacho i forget i don't i'm not really a boxing expert but uh so i go there and i'm watching this mexican guy box and everybody's very excited and they're all drinking and they're all partying and i have like a beer and they i't, I'm getting way more attention than I'm looking for at this place. There's bartenders like tipping me back and pouring free, it seems, tequila in my mouth from great distances. You know, and they're shooting arches of alcohol into my mouth. And I feel rude not drinking it, but I don't want it.

And this is like the drinking version of rape that happened to me at this place and uh the real version of raped happened that happened after you passed out there were these sailors there and they seem to just because there's a huge naval base in san diego which is just like not far at all from tijuana and they seem to want to get in fights with people. And these asshole Americans, and they're big and strong guys, just like, you know, like, there's no rules here. I own this bar.

It's like, eh, Mexico, not Haiti. So, yeah. I would not want to try being Mr. Tough Guy Sailor in Mexico just because you never know where, like like one little squirrely guy who you think is like, ah, what a pussy. You don't know that that's the younger brother of the guy who chainsaws heads off right down the road. And that's not a joke. They do that shit there. When's the last time there was any story in the U.S. ever where it's like drug dealer chainsaws the head off of a man in South Chicago?

It's like, no, there's tons of fucked up shit. But it's never like East St. Louis man found with own genitals in mouth dismembered. Next, it's like, no, this is only Mexico. You are right about that. I don't know. It was a cool experience. I'm glad I went. I'm not going again anytime soon.

I feel like people overdo the whole Mexico thing. You'll probably be fine. I mean, Cancun was fun when I was little. I still remember being like 12 or 13 there. And we went. My parents were like, oh, it'll be fun to go to like an authentic Mexican restaurant where like the actual Mexicans are. So we had like some taxi or whatever drop us off in like an actual neighborhood. And we walked to a restaurant and sat down some of the only,

pretty much the only white people there, even at like 12 years old. I'm like, this isn't good. This isn't ideal. You know, here the, the table just adjacent to us was what I can only assume to be at the

time. I'm like, how many families is that? Now I realize it was just one family and there was there was a kid not there's no fucking way this kid was more or less than five years younger than me which would make that kid like eight like seven or eight and there was a full beer in front of that kid and that kid was picking it up with like both hands like the way little kids have to like the way like a sippy cup and like was drinking was drinking his dosekis right there next to me and i was like oh god like what

what a weird place this is yeah and then my mom and then i ate some uh some fish my stomach started hurting and so my mom said here drink this wine and i was like i don't want to and she's like it'll kill the bacteria in your stomach and like in retrospect it's like no that's a i would have needed to drink like like really strong alcohol like even like vodka is not going to take care of that like actual germs in there yeah like battery acid you'd need and so i remember like gulping down like like three quarters of a glass of wine like i don't want anymore she's like you have to finish it because you're it'll help your i know and to her credit like a little bit later i would felt so weird that I'm like, man, my stomach's really not upset anymore. I just kind of feel like.

That's the least of my concerns. Yeah. Levity. Like I'm floating through the streets of Mexico. I remember I went to Mexico. I got a few drinks and some food or whatever. And I don't remember if the bill was a thousand pesos something or ten thousand pesos something. But I got it and I was like bugging out like i can't recall the last time i got food that cost a thousand anything

and i know they're pesos but i'm like the fuck like this exchange rate better come through big because that's a lot of money and uh it was it was somewhat reasonable but it was still expensive but yeah have you got a restaurant bill? The way they write it is dollar sign followed by four or five digits. It wasn't very comforting. No. It's very different than America.

In a way... How many pesos do you think bariatric surgery is? Oh, billions. Okay, señor wings of redemption redemption that would be 18 billion pesos it's like with uh with zimbabwe like their super hyperinflation of like uh what it costs like 40 quadrillion dollars to buy like a loaf of bread at that point like you're not recovering buy like a loaf of bread at that point like you're you're not recovering you know what one of their issues is is their debt is usually in u.s dollars i don't know about zimbabwe in particular but like brazil or any of these countries that are in trouble so when they're they can't just like

print more dollars and then have them be dollars inflation runs out of like first you're in debt whatever a billion dollars then you double your currency well now you're in debt whatever a billion dollars then you double your currency well now you're in debt two billion dollars like you didn't solve a problem whereas our debt is in dollars and we just invent that shit and it doesn't last forever but it is a much better situation like brazil or zimbabwe find themselves in i also feel like in zimbabwe like if any president in the u.s was just like you know well first of all, assuming we had dictators here. If one was like, print more money, we'd be like, well, we got to really think this through because X, Y, Z. Let's get the whiteboard out and start doing some – no, that's not a good move.

If that guy in Zimbabwe is like, we desperately need to print more money. Like anybody who's like, Mugumbe, we cannot do this. We are running out of money to print. There's little paper left, to be frank. He'd be like, take that man, burn him alive, own some money, then print some more. Own some money. It's like, nobody says no to those fucks.

I was looking at the before and after pictures of Alex Jones recently. You know the one where they say he just turned redder? If you look carefully, I think he got slightly better he okay i know that same like picture and it is funny to joke like he just got redder and redder is the main difference that's the primary change but secondarily if you look you're like okay that guy clearly lost like 10 pounds or eight pounds or something but he was like he's heavy enough that it's not that impactful well percentage i would not post a before and after picture that soon into the process like he should have waited another month he had reddened it was like

it was like 45 days or something i was ripe yeah he was it wasn't like you know seven days and he had you know you already see a slight difference at 45 days like they should have shopped it or something someone uh on the subreddit posted uh colin woody better hold on to their bump stocks trump just asked to ban them today so i i wrote yeah hold did you misspell it? Yeah, I absolutely spelled it. H-O-D-L. This guy goes, I fucking love you, Kyle. Ha ha. I replied with, your love means nothing to me.

Subscribe, donate, and get the fuck out. Oh, that's perfect. Oh, happy belated birthday. There was a whole thread on the subreddit I saw where it. That was a very, there was a very, there was a whole thread on the subreddit I saw where I was wishing you happy birthday, and someone was like,

this is when Woody will try to slip in the birthday three-way with Jackie. And I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, like in quotes, yeah, come on, Jackie, you, me, and the paramotor. Let's go. I was going to fly, and it didn't start. We're going to join the quarter-mile-high We're gonna join the quarter mile high club

I've been a mile high It's funny I'm like I'm in the mile high club I flew you know like 6,000 feet And they're like that's not how you get in the mile high club You don't know what I did up there Do you have it? I was very excited

God it's freezing up here Is there anyone In the paramotor community That has like fucked a chick on their paramotor Because I know you can tandem That seems unsafe Not that I know of Someone's done it That would be one of the first things

That I would make happen People fly with their dogs and stuff So all kinds of shit could happen I mean they're sexy dogs stop judging me how do you not get how is that dog not freaking the fuck out you know what's cool and this is actually cool para hawking people train these hawks to go and find like rising air and stuff and then they land on their hands and they fly around and like they just send them off to hunt for thermals it's pretty neat you can um you can pay for it there's a guy in in where i went to fly in tory pines how much do you pay a

hawk uh you you would be the passenger on this so you pay like 200 $400 or something and you'll go parahawking. It's pretty neat. Fistful of bugs. Yeah. It's a fistful of bugs and seeds. It's pretty neat. You have to see it. I look at it and I'm like, wow, that thing really is trained. He keeps coming back.

They'll blow a whistle and he'll land on his hand. They're a team up there. So the guy has his glove on, his falconer's glove as he's flying around and he's just and the birds up there land perched while they're in the sky flying around and then he'll be like go solomon and then it'll do what it does it'll find a thermal and it'll be like where you want to be is over there you can see the bird rising without flapping its wings and it's like that's the rising air that I'm searching for. He'll blow a whistle.

The bird will come back, get some food. The paraglider goes to the thermal. It's better than just guessing, which is what I would do, I guess. What happens when you suck a $3,000 falconer falcon bird into your paramotor? This is a paraglider.

It's shooting out the back. They start on top of a mountain. Oh, falcon bird into your paramotor. This is a paraglider. So there's no motor. They start on top of a mountain. Oh, I see. Much more dangerous in my opinion. In my experience as well. I didn't bring a leg paramotoring. That's fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Back to the wings thing. Go! Come on, do a thing. I'm tired. Go. Come on. Do a thing. I'm tired of waiting. Come on. I'm with you on that, right? And it's not that I'm – I just – look, wings.

You're trying to make a change. You're trying to do a thing. You're trying to like create an improvement in your life. And you can't do that by finding excuses not to do it at some point commit and go and i know right now he's waiting on the passport so he's got kind of an excuse there yeah i guarantee you pay to expedite it right yeah you can i i have to i waited too long to get mine renewed and i have to get a whole new one and yeah you can pay to expedite it but we're saying he i bet he didn't right we're also aware

there's actually two levels of expediting which is weird but uh um but yeah we're predicting that he just went regular speed which is gonna be a while because they take their sweet ass time do you have any idea how long a while is is it like six weeks or like it's like six to eight weeks i expedited mine and i i think i would level two expedite expediation uh which might have might have been a couple hundred dollars i really don't remember it's been six or seven years but got that thing right back like i mean like 10 days i want to say like like it was it was so yeah oh shit yeah got it i i really enjoyed the form that you fill out to like get your passport one of the things was like do do you have any aliases? And I was like, I do.

Do I write this? And everybody's like, no, don't do that. Don't do that. I was like, I absolutely have an alias. Do I have to write down all the Twitter and Reddit accounts I have that I just used to fuck with people?

I was like, there used to fuck with people. There's a couple million people who think I'm Dmitry Potapov. I think I need to write that, right? Don't do that. I literally showed... Speaking of Dmitry Potapov, I literally last night I was with a girl

and I was like, oh! It came up. You came up, the FPS Russia thing. And I was showing her one of I was like, oh, like it came up, you came up the FPS Russia thing. And I was showing her one of your videos, the one where you almost die. And, you know, I had to explain, obviously, he's from Georgia. She's like, oh, really? Wouldn't have guessed that. I'm like, yeah, you know, he thought people would kind of get the professional Russian play on words. Nobody got it.

All right. And she saw it. And the first thing that she said was like, wow, what a retard. And, like, upon watching that video again, like, I hadn't seen it in so long, like, seeing you, like, turn back, like, the Russian voice almost quivers a little bit, where you're like, so, my friends,

you know, the wind water and another thing I noticed and I showed her just one more quick clip is when you laugh in your videos it's clearly the Kyle Myers laugh there used to be an F for Russia laugh but it was just so cheesy I dropped it

it really was that's what it was and I was just so cheesy, I dropped it. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It really was. That's what it was. And I was like, oh, this is terrible. I can't do this. Because I, like, how do I laugh with a Russian accent? I don't know. I don't know how to laugh with a Russian accent.

So I just laugh. It seemed much more genuine anyway. Oh, it was funny. Anyway, I thought you were going to get a kick out of that. I do. Did you see that pretty girl make the wings response video where she watched some of his hate videos, and she's just dying laughing the whole time, and then she spends the second half of her video like,

this guy makes like $5,000 a month. What the fuck is he crying about? And then she started talking about how fat shaming could be a positive thing and she was really fucking mean uh got taken down there's a little bit of her down he probably shrunk her uh i think for hate speech because um here i'll time stamp this video it was quite mean um oh yeah it was so this is time stamped this is a this is a different video but her video is uh in it um for like a a little bit uh and i think i time stamped it appropriately oh boy all right this is a new test see if i can do it uh new computer we'll see how this works out.

If smoke starts coming out and sparks fly everywhere, you burst into flames. Oh. Alright, Skype wants to open that in Edge, whatever the fuck Edge is. If you get 38 miles an hour, you're gonna see some serious shit. I don't like how Internet Explorer renamed it and tried to make me forget what

it was it's like nah this isn't internet explorer this is like microsoft edge like backwards hat cool bracelets gold chain necklaces it's like nah you're you're the same there's like seven toolbars up there although i think if you want to watch I don't know what resolution it is or frame rate or something, you have to go there because Chrome doesn't support it. I remember trying to, maybe when I was trying to watch 4K porn at 60 frames

I had to watch it through Microsoft Edge because Chrome doesn't support that format or something like that. I'm going to have to look into this later. What I'm getting is a black screen and I was actually looking to fix something else. I see this is a super common OBS problem but um so the answer is out there but I don't know what else top my head okay well we've we've we've test proofed that when we found a thing I'm sorry I uh I thought I was all prepped coming into

the show but uh but yeah pretty girl and And of course, the PK fans were like, ah, she's so ugly. Look at that face caked in makeup. Simone was like, shut up, Woody. Oh, she's not ugly, though. She's pre-fat. She's not ugly. No, she's not at all.

I know. That's what we're saying. That's just the way they are. Our fans have some very high standards, it seems. Yeah, I don't see it. I don't see why someone would say that. I think she's pretty. No.

And this guy also has a new intro. Just play it's i love they've got intros and outros and shit like like it's a business now it is and i i i know wings isn't wired to do this right like there are people it seems who take amazing amounts of hate like maybe lo Logan Paul, and they don't care. It doesn't bother them one bit. Keemstar's always been pretty good that way. The whole world piles on them, and they're like,

you know, there's a lot of attention. I think I'm kind of doing well here. Wings isn't that guy. Neither am I, really. But Wings is maybe worse. And when people fuss at him, he's having a bad day. I feel like he's like an evil dictator who's slaughtughtering the civilians and he's getting all upset about cnn coverage he's like oh they're covering my

atrocities again how dare they this is my content i'll cop hey i killed those jews fair and square how dare you upload video of it without without crediting me properly like he does all those awful things. They don't manipulate the video. It's not like they're over there, like, Photoshopping his face onto a real bad person. He just is that guy. They're showcasing a montage of him being awful. Yeah, there's some truth in there.

If I'm going to Snopes on you, I'll say mixture, because he's not actually a Nazi killing people. Oh, no, but, you know... You might have stretched it a touch for that analogy. I was just drawing an analogy, you know? Certainly. I think it was apt. Thank you. He's the Slobodan Milosevic of the internet.

Come on. Can you give me that one? Yeah. Whoever that guy is. Oh oh he was the bad guy yeah yeah or uh he was killing all those uh ethnic uh ukrainians or russians or something like that right like in the croatians i think yeah he liked to kill yeah whatever slovedon and then uh and then bill cl Clinton went over with the stealth bombers and bombed the fucking shit out of them.

Absolutely. They shot one of them down. They did shoot one down. Oh, that's the guy who became the meme. Right? I don't know. Slobodan Roljak. He's the guy who drank that poison.

No. No, no, no, no. I just looked it up. Here he is. Slobodan Milosevic. Oh, the other Slobodan. Slobodan over there is like Jim here. Yeah, this guy, if I recall right, he was leader of Serbia.

In the world, the public eye, Serbia was very much the bad guys in the Yugoslavian Civil War. And like Kyle said, Bill Clinton came in there and did a non-ground troop intervention. And we just bombed the fuck out of everyone and sort of supported them weeks at a time i remember like driving with my dad like like going hunting and stuff and he'd be like yeah i dropped another eight million pounds of ordnance this at this this morning and the early early dawn hours holy shit how much does that cost yeah i at the time i didn't pay attention cost, but I did kind of think it was a good way to help out. Like, you know what, you guys do the, I'll call it the heavy lifting on the ground.

We'll let our fly boys do our thing. It's a tremendous amount of help. Like every time you're in trouble, you just like pop smoke and the other people die. That's really great. The receptionist at my car dealership She was from there, and I guess she was an ethnic whatever like didn't look like it She was blonde hair and blue eyes, but enormous ass, but but I guess like I think she maybe she was Muslim

I didn't really ask and didn't care and And and I mentioned him one time and joking manner slobodan milosevic she was like he was evil ma'am he was evil ma'am terrible terrible my friend was on the other side i'm like you know so serbians are they the bad guys and he's like well i mean to hear everyone say it we're like really bad but i always thought we were okay like i didn't burn any farmhouses like come on he moved to america when he was i mean i dug the ditches they threw the bodies in but i didn't i didn't cave the heads in with the shovel come on that was the other guys that was

we have a fuck ton of bosnians here exactly because of that and they are not a fan of serbians and it's one of those yeah it's one of those things where it's like we have no idea about that stuff like they're so little and over there it's like they're probably about the same country but you ask like some bosnian and they're like oh no serbian no no like or like spit on the ground or something my mom uh used to flip houses like we were much younger and the contractor she used was bosnian and so that not only meant that he smoked a thousand cigarettes a day it meant that he would often like if you asked him anything about his home country he'd do like a two minute like prerequisite which i think

like comes from the old block of like saying like first of all I fucking love this country the United States is wonderful I'm so blessed to be because like I think they get trained like you have to like praise the state too much And then after that it would go straight to but those fucking Serbians I met one the other day actually at the grocery store, and he acted like it wasn't a thing and it was like God I didn't even know This is like like a secret rivalry across the world like when i found out the first time that japan and chinese people

hated each other when i was like 13 and learning about world war ii it was like oh i figured they look so similar they probably got along right nobody else like that like japan korean japanese like i'll get that right oh at 13 i couldn't't at all. I don't think I could tell the difference between Japanese and Korean. Right? I feel like that one's difficult for me to spot with my eyes. I can definitely see the difference between Japanese and Chinese. And Vietnamese usually stands out. You guys have accents as kind of a superpower, and I envy it.

It's wonderful. But I have Japan, Korean, Chinese, Bell's palsy, and fetal alcohol syndrome as my recognition thing. It's my superpower. I don't know. See, the way you are with fetal alcohol syndrome is when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail. You'll be like, that person made a goof. Man, the brow of their nose looks a little low. Man, they're epi-whatever the hell this thing is called.

Frenulum? Frenulum, yeah. It's a little, little flat. Yeah, their parents, you know. It might be called a filtrum. Frenulum might be that thing on the- On your penis? On your penis, yeah.

Yeah, I get those mixed up every time. I, yeah, I think you do get them mixed up. There was a time when I believed you were trying to mix me up. You always think that. Because I'm right at the time. One-tenth of the time it's that. Renulum is that thing underneath your tongue. Well, fuck!

And then what was the other thing you said? Fulcrum? Fultum? Filtrum? I don't remember. I think it might start with PH. Oh, yes, it is. Yeah, Filtrum. That's the lip thing.

We're in my area of expertise. This is my wheelhouse, baby. Give me some more questions about fetal alcohol syndrome. How much to drink is too much when you're pregnant. People send me messages. It happened just recently, like yesterday. Guys like, hey, this is a person with Bell's Palsy on YouTube. I think you might like watching his videos.

And sure enough, he's there like talking with one side of his face, trying to drink water. And they're like, the site is going to go away, but I really don't like it. Poor guy. Week three. It really sucks when I tell people I have a drinking problem, they ask me if I've tried AA.

Poor guy. Yeah, I don't want that. Imagine waking up with Bell's palsy. He was like a... I thought he was a pretty successful YouTuber. Like, six-digit subs. Yeah, six-digit subs. Did you know that,

speaking of fucked-up lips and shit, it's good stuff. Did you know that, speaking of fucked up lips and shit, Joaquin Phoenix, did you know that he has a hair lip? Of course. I didn't know. That's why he has a mustache and everything now. What's that? That's why he has a mustache all the time. Yeah, like you didn't see him in

Gladiator? It's all fucked. I haven't seen Gladiator in so long, I must have thought as a kid, or as a teenager, like, oh, that was just a scar they added. I get hair lip and cleft palate mixed up. Same thing. Same thing, okay.

A hair lip is what it's called after you fix it. You would think a guy with that much money would be able to fix it a little better. Are they going to cut it open again and redo that shit? Yeah, just cinch it together a little more. Get the normal colored skin in there, right? I don't know. Is it wide, you think? It's thin, but it's hair.

It's not terrible. It's not great. I had a scar on my arm that I was going to have. I had like a plastic. Basically, I had an operation, a big, ugly scar on my arm. So I was like, you know what? This time, let's get a plastic surgeon to close it up so that it's not such a big, ugly scar. It is the exact fucking same.

Like it didn't get better at all after the second surgery. So look, that's a pretty small sample size. But maybe they can't make it that much better i don't know i don't know i just looked up i just made the mistake of looking up hair lip thinking that it would be i don't know what i thought it would be but it's all just poor babies of course smiling with their fucked up lips it's like oh man like ah and you're not even like retarded so you're gonna know how ugly that is yeah that's the worst right yeah like like i if i were god i would make it so that only retarded people got the other kinds of of deformities it's too because because that's that's two birds with one stone a

now now no one has to live with knowing that they are that they are deformed and ugly and and b now you can spot a retard from like a mile away and on top of this as a diversity hire he could be worth like nine or ten points those people might have good jobs oh that's good where you'd be like uh oh well we need to hire a woman a trans a dwarf uh someone who's paralyzed and you just get knock all of that out see if i were god i'd make it so that i'd make it even more convenient geographically i would put limits on where retards would be born so like south africa for example like way the hell down there who knows what's going on that's the only place in the world it's just a nation of retards they can run it however they wish actually no. It's just a nation of retards. They can run it however they wish.

Actually, no, you can't put a nation of retards where lions are. Maybe that's perfect. Yeah, they try to pet them. Those would be some healthy lions. I'm getting pretty mean at this point. Oh, welcome to the club. Yeah. Oh, man.

I'm excited to play this Age of Empiresires game so they redid age of empires one and apparently age of empires four is coming out like in the fall and this which kind of explains why this one was only 20 bucks but i played this game all the time when i was 10. So I don't think I remember much. Yeah, I of course played Age of Mythology, so I know all about that. And I guess the build order is going to be kind of similar. Oh my god. You got a whole thing going on over there. Yeah, I'll show the camera too.

I just pointed their camera at my computer. The cable management is shit, but mostly I've got a pretty capable computer it's a dolzian thing carry on i interrupted you i'd yeah i played a good bit of uh age mythology i i i got very good at that after hours and hours of practice probably honestly probably no joke like 30 hours of practice or something like that but it's a different kind of practice like you play if you play pub g for 30 hours you might get into 18 gunfights or something like that, but it's a different kind of practice. If you play PUBG for 30 hours, you might get into 18 gunfights or something like that at the beginning if you're just hiding in buildings and shit.

But at this, it's just rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. A dozen games every 10 minutes or something like that, literally. Wait, wait. Literally? Like 12 games in 10 minutes? I would quit every time I made a three-second error in the build order. So you're building this economy. There are multiple resources, and you're producing settlers rapidly. And as they're produced, you're sending them to one of three or four resources. And if you send them to the perfect ratio at the perfect amounts of time,

then you're able to grow faster than anyone else and get to certain levels faster than anyone else and get to certain levels faster than everyone else and get your military out. So I think it's like four minutes is what I was going for. Is this multiplayer or single player? Yeah. Multiplayer. You can do both. So you're quitting in multiplayer game seconds?

No, no, no. I would practice in single player. But yeah, we're going to play some multiplayer and I don't think it's going to go well for me because Taylor seems to remember a lot more since he played in his childhood. We played the other day, and he beat me a couple games, but we're going to play this after a few minutes.

Given time, Taylor cannot devote the time and energy into these games that you can, Kyle. That is how every single time I get Kyle into a game, it's like Age of mythology like i'll play with them like for the first like two weeks or whatever it's like i'm i'm i'm better by a decent by quite a bit because i've played more in the past and then at some point it'll be like man kyle's like just as good at me now and he's like throwing out little factoids we're playing 2v2 where you're like hey do you know actually you could hit uh alt tab uh f4 and it'll jump right to this unit and that unit i'm like god i never knew any of

these things and then two weeks later it's kyle will like be like all right i'm on a 30 game win streak i've really crushed it with the aztecs nobody's stopping me and then same thing happened with total war where like we play for a little while i trounced him in the first part then he gets to be on my same level and and then before you know it, it's like, yeah, I've put in like 30 hours, I've got the Beastmen down so good, I'm crushing people online now. And it's like, goddammit, I gotta go to work. I can't do this.

Yeah, I got very good at Agent of the... Total War Warhammer. I played against two of the bigger youtube well the two biggest youtubers and they both beat me but i held my own both times and those guys literally play for a living so i felt pretty good about that taylor you went to florida on a business trip lately i don't want to dock you or anything but like what do you am i crazy maybe it wasn't florida i went uh i went to Okay. Well, what do you do on the trip? Are you meeting with people who buy advertising?

I don't want to say too much, so I'd rather you lead. I can't put too much into it, I guess, without exposing too much. It was a sales call. I don't know what that means. So you're trying to get them to buy services? Yeah, I'm trying to sell something to them. Usually consumer goods, like on behalf of a client. And so I'll go there and then make a case as to why they need to put more of X, Y, and Z into their stores

or why they need to take out something. It's really just analytics. And so going there and showing them the numbers and making a case for why my client needs to get xyz or why you know a competitor is actually not capitalizing on the space they're being given in your store or whatever it may be hypothetically we would do it much better yes second half of that yeah exactly and it was uh it was last friday and it was fucking horrible because i was sick as a dog it was right after we finished pka you know yeah i'm sure you got a restful night

and wake up woke up good at 4 40 in the morning and was like this is gonna be a terrible day and i i got to the airport went uh had the meeting which was only like an hour long are you for like a by yourself meeting or part of a team uh no i i was by myself yeah all right so yeah so there was no getting carried by some other guy because you're sick this no no it was me it was just this guy uh that kind of sucked just because like you know how when you're sick and you like get like 10 words into a 20 word sentence you start to be like oh there's a cough coming on and i need to finish the sentence nobody else like jump in for you uh but then i finished it all everything went went swimmingly as they usually do because i really like sales it's fun it's just it's like

a game you seem to have and yeah and then I went back to the Cincinnati airport, and I couldn't fly back direct to St. Louis because I had to book the trip so last minute that they didn't have any more, so I had to go to O'Hare in Chicago. And I was like, all right, I'll be home by like 8 p.m. Maybe I'll even be able to get a great night's sleep and feel better by the weekend. No, my flight got delayed four and a half hours,

and so I was sitting there eating my man chew walk alone at O'Hare. And, you know, usually I would like have a couple beers and meet someone at the bar. But the last thing I wanted sitting there was any kind of alcohol. And so I'm just sitting there nursing a seven dollar water, eating some even more expensive orange chicken. Oh, it sucked. Like I got back into my like alcohol when you're sick? No. Do people?

I do. What? When you're feeling sick? You're joking. Like, you're not nauseous, are you? You're, like, congested and stuff. Like, congested and, like, headache. Yeah, the last thing I want is alcohol.

I just drink a ton of water. I would want some alcohol. That's one of the times I would want alcohol. There is alcohol in cough syrup. Maybe for a reason. Yeah, it's good for you. It makes you feel better. In my head, I was thinking,

I would order a double shot of Crown Royal, and I'd have them bring me some honey over there and some lemon, and I'd get a little cocktail glat and some hot water, and I'd make myself a little cough syrup right there at the fucking bar, you know? You could, but like,

alcohol is also not good for your immune system. Oh, please. And vitamin C is good for it. Do you have any more wives' tales? It is not a wives' tale that alcohol is bad for your immune system. Like, I was just so miserable of being sick. That's what the lemon's for! Every little precaution of like,

well, I've been eating so healthy and like trying to make sure I get better as fast as possible because I fucking hate being sick. But yeah, I can't imagine wanting to drink when you're sick. It just dehydrates you and... Get out of here with that. No, it's going to make everything feel better. You're just going to have a warm feeling in your stomach. You're going to be fucked

up. You're going to feel great. You're just going to be snot all over yourself you don't care you don't care anymore yeah makes everything better and you'll be able to sleep on the plane because you know the altitude somehow makes alcohol affect you uh more seriously yeah you're fucked up yeah it would have been better to be drunk than to because the worst thing about flying when you're sick uh like head congestion, is like taking off and landing with those changes of pressure.

You feel like your ears are going to blow out. It feels so terrible. You can't eagle, is it? No, not when you're sick. That's why they say don't... Because your ear canals kind of swell shut. And so I wasn't contagious anymore, I don't think.

Otherwise, there is a United flight that is a whole flight of United people who are wondering what happened this week. But I'm glad to be getting better. All I have now is a little wheeziness and some sniffles. But yeah, I'm not starting working out again until I'm 100% better.

Because if I start straining myself and I get sick again, I'm going to hate it. I almost skipped yesterday. I had a burning desire to not do shit. I don't know. It was my birthday. It was gray. It was yucky.

And I was like, you know, you haven't missed a day yet. Just make it happen. It was like 8 p.m. I finally got my ass in the gym and haven't missed a day. Good for you. Yeah, the best part about those, I snuck a day. Good for you. The best part about those I snuck a few pounds off my body in the meantime.

I'm down to like 190 now which is pretty low for me. I'm actually at 191 whatever and Kyle you're at 185 now? 183. I thought I was closing the gap. I've lost 3 or 4 pounds in the last couple days.

Are you getting really fatigued by the diet or are you feeling like in high gear? No more than normal. I get plenty of rest. I don't understand how you're able to go so long in between these crash diets. Because it seems like you only do a couple a year, right? Like maybe three a year? Yeah, I would say two or three times a year. it's been let's see probably five months yeah it's been five or six months yeah i just don't i just don't put on weight i i do stay active like everyone

acts like i lay in bed all day and just eat junk food but you know i i do stuff you know i'll i'm not running right now but i was i was running a lot before we moved. And I always do sit-ups and push-ups. You should get that board thing. Put Kitty's stupid fucking furniture together. You know, I hurt my shoulder. I don't know how I hurt it, but I'm trying to point, but it's over my shoulder. If it were this shoulder, like here, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it really, but I hurt it really badly somehow.

I don't know how I hurt it. It's almost certainly a muscle tear because it's taken three months to start getting better or something like that. And I don't know if I, like, rotate my arm in an unnatural way. It's excruciating. And you might be like, well, don't rotate yourself in an unnatural way. That excruciating and you might be like well don't rotate yourself in an unnatural way but like i don't know like when you get in bed and you like you like you know catch yourself on the bed with that with that arm and you're like letting yourself down like stuff like that like anything really it's excruciating it really hurts and i can only sleep on my left side now because if i sleep on the right side it seems to exacerbate the whole situation so i have

i'm afraid to do push-ups because i don't i'm afraid it's gonna like this is starting to get better i can tell i think you might be making the right call yeah yeah don't rush back into it if you don't need to convalescing over here yeah convalesce that's the second time you've said convalesce in one pkn yeah double i can't wait to watch wings convalesce i i hope he does a convalescing live stream i just set the camera up i honestly like like he's he's raised so much money so quickly and it's clear that like people are donating to get this thing for him he should absolutely and first of all doing this he'd earn the money right back. But I feel like he owes it to people to, like, give them a window into this thing.

He should totally vlog every moment of this thing. Here's, like, the first vlog should be, like, all right, it's the night before. Mom's over there. She's got her backpack. You ready to go, Mom? Yeah, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. I got my backpack.

You can see right here I've got, you know, three pairs of socks and like eight pairs of underwear. And this is my bag. I had to buy a new bag. And we're getting up at 4 a.m. in the morning. We're heading to the Myrtle Beach Airport. We're going to head out. So let's get some sleep. Click. All right. We're here at the airport. I've never been here before, but we're about to go through security. I think that's going to be a real hassle. You can see I'm sweating like a pig. Let's do this. All right. Security was rough.

They made me take my shoes off. It was a whole fucking shit show. I couldn't fit through the scanner, but we're here. All right. Now we've got to find our gate. All right. We're at the gate. You have any checks on Beagle up to your shoulder?

They had to put on that shoulder-length glove like they use with livestock. I didn't even know they had those in stock, but they do. They were prepared. It was awful. And, you know, like, we're on the plane. Alright, this is Carl. He's a... He's that guy. No, no, you can see the tip of his face, right? Sticking out between the two of us.

Carl, wave. Alright, Carl's gonna be on the flight with us. Wish us luck. I want 30 second updates every fucking step of the way. I want him in the gown and everything. Alright, we're going in.

With the scared eyes, right? I want him coming out with his mom poorly handling the camera like, Jordy, wake up, Jordy. you know he comes out of it all groggy and shit and it i want all that i want this thing flogged from beginning to end i want to see it he would get he would first of all if you do that i know he'll get he'll see this but if if you do that you'll raise an enormous amount amount of money just along the way and those videos

be like, it's going to be a while before I can game. I'm not going to be able to earn income for a while and I'm really concerned about that. People donate like crazy, send you a lot more money and it could be a resurgence for your YouTube channel, right? Like these are high quality videos that I'm describing here but they don't have to be filmed in high quality. It's just you pointing your phone. You don't even have to bring a camera.

Just use your phone. Just selfie style and talk to it. Get a selfie stick if you want to. That would be even better. Wings under the effect of like that medication pre- and post-surgery coming out. He doesn't have to say absolute gold like these guys that go viral on Facebook and YouTube. Just be W know and share his

come to experience i want to see it i'll watch it everyone watch it i would absolutely watch it like you could do like do it let you guys tell me about it do a video a day right like day one like you know would be like you before during after your flight getting to san diego san diego being in your hotel room day two all right we're getting picked up taken to the hospital for testing and we're going into surgery and here we are and then then the cliffhanger after video two you don't know if you're if you're going to make it or not right and then video three you coming out of surgery going back to san diego convalescing and tons of pain flying back to back home and then like all right well that was one hell of a journey you know i'll be back to you guys as soon as i can but for now i need to you

know heal up oh i'd love that shit three videos three videos it'd be like five eight minutes long each if he goes a lot irl live streamed him in bed recovering drinking you know like all right welcome to twitch twitch live i am dr emilio that's great but i've never held a camera and a scalpel simultaneously but here we go i'm talking about after he gets home though i know i know i know yeah your idea is great though i would watch that but but yeah my idea is easy my idea is great, though. I would watch that. But yeah, my idea is easy. My idea is implementable. He could straight up just be at home, turn the camera on. He could sleep and earn money. He'll wake up $1,000 richer.

Oh, I'd love that. Like Wayne's sleepy cam. I'd watch him sleep. What's the most low effort thing I could do on a live stream and make money? Sleep. You could do live streams working stream and make money? Sleep. You could do live streams working out. People would watch and donate.

Absolutely. Oh, that's a good idea, actually. Yeah, you could absolutely do that. I'll do it naked, too. Put it on Chatterbait. I mean, if you want to... Honestly, I think the donations are lower over there, but I could be wrong. I'm doing this for me! I'm going to cultivate an army of sycophants

who just want to watch me work out naked. It's going to be great. Where's my idea pad? Yeah. I thought about doing a vlog including my workout or something, but it's pretty unimpressive at this point. I need to be better than I am.

My weights have gone up a ton, but it takes me like 40 minutes. You need some fake weights. That's not too much time. That would be a great video. You remember that deleted scene from Unbreakable where he bench presses 500 pounds? I'd like one of those scenes from you. That'd be pretty great.

You know, five plates on each side. Oh, fuck. God damn. But you'd be squatting, of course. And it'd just zoom in on your calves if you squat. But you're squatting like 1,600 pounds or something. Something ungodly. Get some sort of joke bar.

So it's like PVCc and so it's just whoa the bar is fucking flexing like crazy it's neat when those bars flex dude it's terrifying when those bars flex because like you know that like no matter how buff the guy that's that's spotting them in is it's not enough it's not enough like like you could have you could have you could be the strongest man in the world and you're both your spotters could be second and third but if you drop that you just die when those guys are benching like 900 pounds crazy shit like that and there's a documentary on uh netflix i was watching recently about the power lifters and one of the dudes who uh of fucking course he's eastern european and every single other guy

like and he wasn't even the most impressive looking dude but every single dude they like asked like to interview they're like who's the best ever at power lifting and they're like oh evgeny uh a lot of consonants you know whatever his name is and he you, you know, did a, uh, you know, his like press or whatever with his log. And it was so heavy that like the spotters were like four, like two on each side, other strong men, like from like, I guess the lower level competition where it's like,

God damn, like these are animals. Like you, and then it shows them like the way, like through their day, like they're eating, they're making Michael Phelps look like a little bitch with his, with his meals.

They eat so much. Okay. This is a man who, if we were having an animal fight discussion, I would give him credence because you know, he, he would definitely, he wouldn't beat up a chimp because the chimp will rip your eyes out.

And you're not going to do well if you, if you're no testicles, no eyes. Yeah. He wouldn't beat up a chimp because a chimp will rip your eyes out. That's true. You're not going to do well if you're no testicles, no eyes. He would do very well. He would beat the shit out of Arian Foster. Arian Foster is a peak guy. There you go.

Who knows? I don't know. Fighting is a tricky thing, right? You would think he'd beat the shit out of Joe Lozon, but I don't know if I think tricky thing right like like you would think he'd beat the shit out of like Joe Lozon But I don't know oh yeah Those trained shit out of Joe Lozon because Joe isn't strong enough to move this guy's limbs Like you know this guy if they if they let him lay down if the guy was like yes Did you do a UFC though? This is very funny all right?

They get me an arm bar buddy, then like he like lets him lay down he would give him his arm and joe could use his entire body all that torque and this guy is gonna throw him over like one of the one of the events was a a barbell press the barbell weighed 350 pounds one hand and all the other strongmen went up there to do it it was 300 pounds not 350 and no 350 and he went up and like like the other strong men were like and it's like god that was almost a broken arm this dude goes up there and like just looking a little bored does like three of them and then puts it down and like the announcers were like like there were still people left to go and they're like and evgeny seals it again with

so you might have to go off the way like so joe lozon will say that he could not beat up shaquille o'neal he's just too big too strong can't can't work with it right so this guy might be in that category too i don't know what he looks like. For all I know, he's like a little fire plug and very strong, but there's a way to beat him. It would depend on the scenario, right? All right, I just linked a video there. I don't know if you can watch, but I guess not. But that's an enormous man.

It's time stamped, gargantuan. If he got in the cage with Joe, I feel like Joe could maybe leg kick this guy for round after round until the guy was literally crippled or something like that. Maybe there's a tactic you could employ. But in grappling, I just don't think you can grapple with someone whose arms are like 35 inches or something like that. They've done bodybuilders against black belts in jiu-jitsu before. The black belts always win. Bodybuilders for sure.

The bodybuilders usually sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The bodybuilders usually don't have any ideas for offense, right? I remember when I wrestled with Mirka years ago. It was like 2012 or something. Mirka immediately got this advantageous position where I was kind of going for a takedown on his legs and he grabbed me in the north-south. And I was like, fuck. I guess I'm stuck here for a bit.

But thankfully, Mirka wasn't a grappler, so he didn't know step two towards... So I was like, all right, well, step one didn't go my way, but eventually it will. So that can happen with this bodybuilder too. The bodybuilder gets some position that he feels like is advantageous, but eventually gives up an arm or a neck. I would definitely put fighters over bodybuilders more often than i would over power lifters okay and it depends on

the rules of the fight as well like you know if it's jujitsu then if it's grappling only i really like because they get all the time in the world yeah when they start striking everyone knows how to punch a little you know yeah you like those hammer fists, like those Brock Lesnar hammer fists. Those don't require a lot of skill, just a lot of mass. This guy, Zydrunas Savikas is his name. Savikas. He cut down to get shredded, like in that picture. He cut down to 342 pounds. Wow, he's really big.

I didn't know he was that big. It's like, God, there's something in the water over there, probably like a Chernobyl-related thing. I don't know. I don't know enough about nuclear power to say you're right. I don't know enough. Yeah, you don't know enough to dispute it. That's one of my favorite things from Sonny,

a structured thing to say is like that god that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough to dispute it like it applies to so so many yes oh my gosh i love it so you know what this shooting in florida has started to bother me a little more like when it happened the night it happened all my friends were like oh my god it's such a tragedy oh this is horrific if i was a cop i'd have killed him i'd make a bad cop and i'm like what was the kill dish right here did he get many hit markers you know like i wasn't impacted by it out of the gate at all as time has passed and i see these students talk and stuff and taylor mentioned i wasn't hip to it when he said it they're all on like snapchat and instagram and they have their own voice which

wasn't really the case you know in like sandy hook right because they're all like 10 years old or eight years old yeah because it's too long ago yeah now all of a sudden these teenagers who were involved get to tell their story and their opinions on it and uh i don't know it's made it a more impactful like event on my psyche than some of the other ones that's all yeah i saw 4chan and uh supposedly some people from the donald going after the uh the survivors that was interesting oh uh yeah i saw him going after a survivor's parent or something for wearing oh yeah trump 2020 trump oh yeah okay yeah they had a trump 2020 article clothing i thought it was a hat kyle said it was a shirt i guess but uh whatever they're giving him

a hard time for being a trump guy i saw trump once that as kyle mentioned at the top of the show go after bump stocks you know i i said there might be a thing that comes out of this like yeah i can see a point behind getting rid of bump stocks like i i'm not 100 sold on it either way if you have to sacrifice something like like that's a we're gun guys right like so where does the bleeding not hurt so much you know bump stocks don't don't ruin my enjoyment of guns smaller magazines is a big deal i would hate that yeah huge deal that's not what i want to do deadliest school shooting of all time was done with two pistols with a magazine of less than 10 rounds the problem is that uh it's going to depend on how the how the law or

the regulation is defined, because they're saying bump stock, bump stock, bump stock, but they may define it as anything that speeds up the rate of fire of the weapon, which would be Geissele two-stage triggers and stuff like that, like competition triggers that

are lighter and operate in a slightly different way, and that's not cool. Or it could go the other way where they like outlaw a very specific bump stock and all you need to do is make it well yeah we're not this is a slide stock it's very different. Yeah absolutely yeah you know there's there's a there's those cranks there's lots of stuff that sort of automate the the pulling of the trigger. So, you know, we'll see what they do and how. Phones.

I forget who it was. I'll say it was Nokia. They had a flip-up phone, which was really cool. It was like out of Star Trek, and it was a really big deal. And they had a patent on the flip-up phone. And it was like, fuck, you know, like now they're the only people that can make a flip up phone but aha someone else came along and made the flip down phone yeah this you hold the other side of it flips down and it's like ah you got him you know so much for your back that happens

so that happens it goes a lot too where they like outlaw like i don't know black barrel covers or something so now they make them brown barrel covers and everything's fine yeah we'll we'll see what happens with the bump stocks anything because a lot of times nothing happens i mean it there'll be a new story right you? Like Mueller will indict someone or something, and then the news will move on, and that could be that. We'll see. Yeah. It'll be interesting to see how they write those regulations and what they'll do.

Either way, the price of my large stock of bonfire stocks just rises by the day. So I honestly don't mind at all. In fact, keep letting everybody know. By the time it's all over, those things will be three grand a pop. I got several of them. It's somewhere between eight and thirteen. I don't know. They're all in

boxes inside bigger boxes and they're stored away somewhere. Ban them. Ban them. I've got the good ones, too. somewhere, so... Vannam! Vannam! I got the good ones too. I've got the Fostech, you know, if you're out there on the market right now trying to pick yourself up one, you know, online,

the Fostech makes a very nice one. It's all metal, you know, it's not plastic. It looks very stylish. It slides really smoothly. Of course, there's the original slide fire stocks. They're all plastic. smoothly of course is the original you know slide fire stocks are all plastic They work just fine, too. You know Yep, PKN 183 I hope it worked