Painkiller Already - PKN #194

Episode Date: May 18, 2018

It's PKN time baby!

And we're live! Painkiller Nearly, episode 194. Well, how's your guys' week been going? Pretty good. Pretty good. I was in the Georgia. I've been cooking a lot. I got some really nice steaks. I've been cooking these two and a half inch thick filet mignons. I've got one on the counter right now, like, warming to room temperature before I bake it for a

little while and then sear it. It's going to be fucking delicious. I'm very excited. How many days? You sear it, then you bake it, right? I bake it and then I sear it. Oh, I've never done that before. I've always done the other direction. Well, there you go. How long do you keep it in there? I put it at like 275 degrees for about 40 minutes. And then I sear it in a scalding hot pan with butter, garlic, and rosemary.

And, you know, spoon the mixture over the steak continuously. Give it about one minute per side. Get the edges seared as well, and then quickly to a plate. It's real good. And you let it sit for like five minutes? Keep all those juices in there?

I do kind of a Ninja Turtle plate thing where one plate is inverted on top of the other. And while it's in there, I'm preparing the french fries. Are you always pairing your delicious steak with french fries? Or have you tried anything else yet? Not always. I do twice baked potatoes sometimes. Tonight I believe there will be crab

cakes. I have crab cakes ready to go. Asparagus is a top-notch cake companion. I'm sorry, steak companion. It really is. Asparagus is one of my go-tos. Asparagus and cake, on the other hand, are a terrible combination. That sounds disgusting. I don't eat asparagus.

It's green. It is green. It's particularly good for you. You think asparagus would be on the... To me, asparagus is an advanced vegetable. We should start the man off with corn on the cob or something. Not that. It's not even green.

It's a beginner vegetable. No, asparagus is probably my favorite vegetable. You can make it so good on the grill, on just like stovetop saute. It's perfect with steak and it gives you some vitamins or something even if it's doused in oil and i like my asparagus with what most would consider too much salt

yeah salt is appropriate uh an expert let me know that there's nothing wrong with salt at all as a matter of fact double triple quadruple it who gives a fuck it's all the same that's right yes i think i was a professional russian he's a professional he can't doubt that uh do you ever do mushrooms as a side i don't recall if you like mushrooms or not like mushrooms are okay yeah yeah i like mushrooms um i i don't know how to prepare them myself but when someone else does it for me and they make some sort of a gravy and stuff like that yeah i can do that Like a red wine mushroom sauce kind of thing. Like burgundy mushrooms where you just have like butter, garlic, and then like a red wine reduction. And then it all gets soaked up by the mushrooms. And you eat like half a bite of that with the steak.

It's great. Makes you feel like a fancy man. Yeah, I can do that. I can do that. But French fries or twice-baked potatoes or tonight with my crab cakes. The cakes are amazing that sounds good meat with a side of meat yes that's my kind of meal yeah and i've got bread i've got i got some fancy garlic bread it's it's gonna be good homemade garlic bread or like the kind you buy from the store i went to a bakery okay well that's not too bad like that's probably going to be pretty good. Not like that kind you buy in the tinfoil sleeve

or whatever the hell at Walmart or somewhere. No, it's not that. It's this enormous sourdough half of a loaf that's just drenched in garlic and oil and butter and some sort of other things. Looks like it's going to be good. Oh, that sounds so good. I think I'm going to make pork chops tonight. I'm going to get wasted before I eat it too. It's going to be good. Oh, that sounds so good. I think I'm going to make pork chops tonight.

I'm going to get wasted before I eat it too. It's going to be even better. I'm going to get wasted. I'm going to get some, you know, maybe half pint of Grand Gala and see where the night takes me with my steak. Have you expanded beyond Grand Gala or have you really locked into a pattern? Well, the Grand Gala took a lot of research to

hone in on. We know you didn't stop at one. were there were there were many liqueurs that came before the grand gala uh i i think i've settled in on it you know i i i was my my opinion once you find the right answer why change it my opinion was reaffirmed when i saw some like uh orange liqueur taste testings on youtube and grand gala kept winning and uh even though it's the cheaper option, or at least compared to Grand Marnier, I prefer it over the Grand Marnier.

Yeah, I'm sticking with the Grand Gala. I got some beers in there too. There's a lot of alcohol here. Yeah, you got your Dos Equis. Oh, yeah. You'll be fine. Yeah. Do you have any red wine to drink with it?

I know you don't dislike wine, and that's kind of like a pairing. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of wine honestly uh i can drink it but i don't i'm not a big not big on the wine uh especially red wine it's just it's it's often too dry it's it's too bitter you don't have to sell me i agree i hate red wine it's awful but uh you're totally right about like grand gallop probably being better than the more expensive ones like that's the same way vodka is like you can pay three times as much for a gray goose or whatever or you can get titos which is like the exact same shit if not better like titos is my favorite vodka i like i can it's

like 18 for a fifth i mean it's a neutral spirit you're not tasting much anyway it's it's it's and that's the point like if you're tasting something with your vodka there's something wrong unless you've gotten a flavored vodka i don't like vodka i'd rather have tequila is good that uh that tequila you had the other day was it was nice stuff um but not vodka vodka to me is like a people who drink straight vodka i feel like there's something wrong with those people like like you're not even there's nothing there you're just drinking rubbing alcohol yeah i've never drank just straight. Or I probably did, like, in college when it was like, all right, we got a bunch of warm McCormick's.

You know, you get ready to muscle this down. McCormick's is, like, the cheapest of the cheap at some Walmarts, like, bottom. Doesn't come in glass. Comes in a big plastic jug. Yeah. You know, for when you need to get a bunch of 19-year-olds wasted, you know, quick. So, yeah, but at that age, you don't even care about taste. It's just about acquisition.

Yeah, absolutely. Whereas now, if someone was like, hey, you just won the free raffle, lifetime supply of McCormick's. It's like, keep it. Maybe I could get a car that runs all this stuff? Is it a beer? It's super, super cheap vodka. Oh, okay. I don't know if it. Maybe I could get a car that runs off this stuff? What is McCormick's? Is it a beer? It's super, super cheap vodka. Oh, okay.

I don't know if it's a regional thing. McCormick's was shit. Pop-Off, that was a really cheap one. Burnett's, that was huge in college because they had tons of different flavors. Burnett's vodka. All the girls loved pink lemonade Burnettettes which like in retrospect thinking back like i'd like wake up the next morning when i drink that and be like oh a little bit of burning in the throat man that's no fun it's like oh it's because it was causing it was so bad it was

causing like an 18 year old to have severe acid reflux i was about to say just just the idea of pink lemonade vodka is giving me heartburn right now. It's got to be so acidic and nasty. Yeah, no. $6.99 for a fifth, though. Can't beat that. But yeah, I'm excited about tonight. I cooked a steak last night. I'm cooking another steak tonight.

And it's going to be fucking delicious. I'm very excited. What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? Not today, but I bought a new truck yeah yeah what was the final verdict your decision i landed on a ford f-150 it's platinum i was gonna get the king ranch i talked about that it was kind of like it has a what i call a rootin tootin cowboy interior that I like embarrassingly a lot. But, um,

it turns out that there's higher trim levels with better stuff in them that were showstoppers for me in particular, the cruise control where you catch up to the next car and it slows down and maintains a distance. I really wanted that. And it doesn't typically come at the King ranch. It starts at platinum. So,

uh, so that's what I got. It's the same color as my last truck, that kind of reddish maroon thing. It has a black leather interior, has massaging seats, which is really cool. That is like if you want to like show your car to somebody and have them go ooh and ah, turning on their massaging seat is a whopper. Like everyone gets a super they're like oh my god are you serious yeah massages you and uh it has ventilated seats that

i used to think they were air conditioned but it's actually just like air from the cab that blows on your back and stuff uh it's really cool it like if you're at like the slightest bit sweaty it's mega effective at like drying you off and making that nice if you lean forward a little bit it sounds like someone's coming at you that still freaks me out of touch uh because like you lean forward then all it's like what the fuck are you um it has lane keeping technology so like if you're choosing a song off spot or driving way too tired, like that might've happened already. And it like steers you back into the lane. And if it does it a couple of times in a row,

it pops up like the driver is tired, you know, consider resting. And if you still go, it's like pull over right now. Really? Yeah. I would like out of spite,

be like, you can't tell me what to do. I'll fall asleep in my car if I want to fall asleep. It was actually after PKA I left last week. And I was tired during PKA. I was terrible. Anyway, so it has a bunch of tech that to me makes it really, really cool. And I'm excited about it.

Cars have gotten so much better since 2003 and i don't know today we got a haircut and it was like i'm gonna get a chance to drive my new car and uh yeah we didn't we i still have the taco we park it by the guest house like under the little roof there and um but there's a new truck in the house and it's pretty awesome oh i got the v8 too i am ford's top motor is this v6 eco boost thing but i keep my cars a long time and i wasn't sure i wanted a twin turbo for fear of like reliability and complexity so i uh the v8 was the one that fit me better nice well it's good you finally pulled the trigger only in another 30 or years, it'll be time for a new one. Yeah, literally it was 2000. It'll be 2051 and you'll be like, things have changed a lot since 18.

Who was president then? Trump. Yeah, I started like 2013. I was like, you know, I think I might want a new truck. Like, it's about time. But Ford was coming out with all aluminum, revolutionizing industry. And then it was like, 2015, yeah, but you don't want to buy a first model truck. You know, let's avoid that pitfall.

Let's give it a half decade of thought. Yes, exactly. And last year, there was like a minor refresh, and it just seemed like the right time to pull the trigger. So, I second-guessed myself a hundred times. minor refresh and and it just seemed like the right time to pull the trigger so i i second guessed myself a hundred times and each time i'm like i really like the what the truck that i landed on so um i'm pretty pretty happy about it well nice glad you finally uh got one i bet you're gonna be super happy driving that thing around it'll make even the uh like you know sometimes when you've got to run an errand you you're like, ugh. All right.

But I bet you're excited to have errands to run. You're like, oh, yeah, I'll drive you here or there. I totally am. Someone needs to go to the DMV? I'm your man. Yeah, yeah. Of course, that won't last forever. But for right now, it's really exciting to have it.

It's cool. Are you, like, manufacturing reasons to leave the house? No, there's already reasons like i had some shoes repaired had to go get those uh haircut um you had shoes repaired i did i have never had shoes repaired before um i haven't either i thought that was right the shoes are disposable but i have um i have a pair of Red Wing boots that were actually really expensive. And a long time ago, my dog chewed them. So, I don't know.

I was at the cobbler anyway, so I brought them. And I had a pair of Skechers that were like leather boots. Anyway, a little thing tore off. They sewed it back on. One of the repair jobs I'm very happy with. Good as new. The other, why do they fucking bother with you they're just broken in a different way so how much did the shoe repairman cost

for both pairs of shoes combined it was like 17 so yeah how are these how are they staying in bit what else do they do do they like well here well, here's, you know, Ted's shoe repair. And we also do bug bombing, you know, guaranteed no bugs for six months after, like there's no way you can totally be in the shoe repair business. I think their money is made customizing shoes for people with medical issues. And,

um, that that's the bigger part of it. Oh, that's not funny. Well, I'm walking like this. Can you add like four inches of rubber on the bottom of this one? See, it is funny. But yeah, the truck thing, I don't know.

I'm just very excited about it. For me, this is a big change. I'm pretty excited about it. It has Wi- pretty excited about it. It's, yeah. It has Wi-Fi built into it. Like, yeah, there's literally an antenna, and you can sign up with AT&T, and your truck becomes a traveling mobile hotspot.

Wow, that's cool. Yeah. You could, like, even lead the parade. I could do PKA from the bed. You could, like, if you were on a road trip with, like, two other people in cars As long as they drove close You could just give them your wifi password

And within like five miles you'll all be in an accident God damn Netflix isn't streaming And you're calling the other one Who's running Hulu on my F-150 wifi My friend has a custom radio In his van with like a little 16x 9 display in it and apparently you can like get some bootleg software that lets you watch movies and stuff on

it and he did it so i i guess if you're living dangerously you can do it while you drive i don't know if he does or not yeah for sure he definitely does like you don't do that so you can like oh you got satellite radio now huh i do um satellite radio was amazing to me whatever five years ago but now i i find myself choosing spotify instead mostly i i i love talk radio like my all of my favorites are talk radio and uh like fox news and cnn and msn and you know if i go, there's like 10 favorites saved or something like that. And almost all of them are either. That's all talk radio, every bit of it.

I should expand into that. I haven't messed with it. I listen to the defaults and I'm like, oh, these six channels suck. I guess satellite radio is not very good. Yeah, yeah. You get Stern on there. You get like Faction you get um like faction talk

where like um uh the jim and sam show is uh and there's a bunch of other shows on there and then obviously like cnn's nice it's nice to have like because i don't know they get you you're getting you're always staying current you know if something horrible has happened and the chevy ui might be better on the ford i found myself just not driving well for too long to like navigate all the the the tree of like channels that i could get on siri like it's like pop rock talk comedy something else something else and then when you go into that there's six more choices and then you know like a tree and once you once you got a favorite it or whatever that's no that's

no trouble at all i agree i just haven't done that so yeah and that's well howard stern is easy it's it's channel 100 and channel 101 oh okay how much longer is he going to be doing that because like i know his audience numbers have like tanked even in like the last few years because like what was like 10 15 years ago, or whenever they first merged, he had tens of millions of listeners. Well, there's no way to tell. There's no way to tell what his audience is. There's literally no way to tell how many people are listening to Howard Stern.

It's how many serious subscribers there are. How is that number changing? Do we know? It's either growing... It's difficult to predict the serious thing because they artificially inflate their numbers by including it for free in newly sold cars yeah so they'll be like oh we had way more subscribers and it's like yeah but you're not talking about the rollover of people who decided to keep it it just means that hyundai had a great year you know like not necessarily i have it yeah exactly because most people at this point

especially in the age of on-demand content like it'll go away and when it does go away like you're you just said it you're gonna be like fuck that i get better stuff on spotify i'll just pay less and do this it's pretty good on-demand content is huge though like i wonder if spotify can get a lot of that content too like does spotify have a comedy channel that you can choose on demand and skip through the bits if the guy's blowing it? I don't know. I don't have Spotify premium, but I would think so. I think Pandora premium has that.

My daughter has Spotify premium and has pretty much convinced us, even though I'm not convinced, that this is like just a basic need. Food, clothing, water, Spotify. not convinced that this is like just a basic need food clothing water spotify and you probably keep youtube red over serious i know you use that quite a bit right i'd rather have youtube red than serious there's one more interesting shit for me on youtube that i can

go to right away yeah and a big thing with me for youtube red is we watch videos on the show and i don't want ads like I feel like ads are unprofessional for me to be like slipping them in. So I have YouTube bread and everything's instant and better for showing videos on PKA. Especially if you would just be showing an ad for free to the viewers of PKA, you know? It's not even an ad that we're getting paid for.

Yeah, like I said, you're like, all right, everybody wait 19 more seconds. I wouldn't want that to happen. pka you know we're not even it's not even an ad that we're getting paid for yeah i don't yeah like i said you know you're like all right everybody wait 19 more seconds i wouldn't want that to happen so yeah yeah for sure but uh but yeah it looks like serious numbers have been on the steady steady incline they're over 30 million subscribers now it's hard like i said there's there's no statistics on how many people are watching Stern specifically or any channel specifically, but the general thought is that he is the driving force for that entire service. Like millions and millions of people have subscribed

just for Howard Stern and only watch Howard Stern or listen to Howard Stern. And his contract, he signed a new five-year deal in 2015, December 2015, so he's got a couple more years left. He's changed his schedule a couple times, so he starts later in the day at, like, I don't know, 6 a.m. or something like that. It seems like he used to have to get up at 3 a.m. in the morning or something like that, which meant that he never had an evening in his life, you know?

Like, he was always going to bed at, like like 8 p.m. or something crazy like that. But I think they started like 6 or 7 or maybe even 8 a.m. now. And he's even talked about like bumping it up another hour and stuff like that. And he doesn't do five days a week. I think he does like... He only does three now. Yeah, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he's making more money now than he ever has.

But I would really push back on the idea that he's as culturally significant now than he ever has. But I would really push back on the idea that he's as culturally significant now as he's ever been. You know, there was a time when he was running for mayor, when his opinion on politics swayed elections. There was a time when, like, everybody heard him. You go to work and everyone would be talking about Stern and what he said that morning and the goofs, I forget what I was going to say.

And, you know, it was like, was Jackie really mad mad how bad is he and then that's not true anymore now there's just a couple listeners here and there it seems i never hear anyone like out in public talking about what they heard on stern yeah i don't know i i don't i don't think it's as hip i think it's probably got an older audience now uh and uh yeah way back in the day this is like in the 90s he used to be like you know what radio is tough you never leave on top no one ever leaves on top and he talked about these legends from days gone by he's like it's sad you know and then he's kicking their ass because he's howard stern he's currently the king of all media and you were like you know he has a legitimate claim to that.

You know, his movie was rocking. His book deal was killing it. And he's number one on the New York Times bestseller list. He was hugely relevant. Well, his metrics were like insane. Like it would be like, all right, add up his listeners and then compare that to the aggregate of the top five cable shows. And it's like, oh, Ed Stern wins by millions. And now where is he?

I would say, well, if you use the scale you just used, he's massive. He gets more views than The Tonight Show or CNN or anything, right? Like in every show, he's getting 10 or 15 million listeners and viewers, and they play it all day. Can you measure it? You can measure it. A lot of the time, they'll sell advertising like that, like long-form radio. Instead of by gross number of people, they'll sell it by gross impression count. impression count so if kyle tunes in at 1 p.m and then he tunes in again at you know 210 when he gets out of walmart or whatever then that counts as two even though there's actually only

one person according to gary they can't do that they don't have stats on the show oh he's not telling the truth you know what they used to do this is before um satellite they tell people how to answer the surveys to boost their numbers they'd be like you tell them that you start listening at 4 a.m and you finish at 10 a.m and when you fill out this form give us all six hours and people started doing it and then the Nielsen service started knocking them because there was a they just they didn't they didn't believe people were actually listening for six hours a day and he'd push push back, say, hell yes, they are. They listen to us in the car, then at work, and they never miss a minute, and this and that.

And you don't know what the truth is. They can't measure it. You know, there's certainly terrestrial radio. They just have to ask people. They can't tell what your radio is doing. And I don't know. I really enjoyed it because he was clearly not manipulating the viewers, recruiting the viewers, like asking them to hook him up with Nielsen ratings.

And they were. And then Nielsen was trying to get accuracy. It was great. It was great. Howard Stern versus the world. Yeah, he definitely used to be a force. Still is, you know, but. Yeah.

I mean, even, I don't know. I hope someday I fare as hard as he is now. even, I don't know, I hope someday I fare as hard as he is now. Like, right now, I would bet dollars to donuts that Joe Rogan's show is orders of magnitude bigger than Stern's in its current

existence. It's just not. He's got 20 million listeners. I don't think he does. I mean, Sirius has 30 million subscribers. I would say that 20 million is conservative. Is that a daily number, you think? Is that a what?

A daily number, right? Because I would bet Rogan clips get 50 or 75 million views a month. Yeah, and that's not even including him on Stitcher and SoundCloud and everywhere else he's hosted. I'm pretty sure Rogan might be the biggest show on the internet. And the biggest show on the internet is kind of the biggest show in the world at this point in time. There's no board of entry.

You're an expert at this. This is probably what you do for a living. But to me, I'm like, how skewed is my personal universe, right? My universe doesn't involve satellite radio at all. That's tiny. No one watches that. And terrestrial radio, no one's watched that in 12 years because i haven't right but in real life people do you know cable news like i the only fox and like pretty much all my news that i consume is from the internet so i watch clips on youtube of fox and msnbc and such

but not everyone does that some people actually have Fox on the TV all day long, in the kitchen, in the living room, never miss a minute. Yeah, some of that stuff's manipulative, the way that they record it, because there are people, like my grandparents, will just have Fox on all the time, even if they're not paying attention. Every airport in the fucking country

has a contract with CNN, and so CNN's ratings get boosted bigly by being on in every airport. Whereas you're sitting at the airport and looking around, and maybe people used to watch that before cell phones were a thing, but now you'll be hard-strained to find one guy being like, oh, interesting.

Like, no, everybody's on their phone or reading a book or doing what they do. So yeah, they all have a vested interest in trying to kind of fudge the numbers and augment it as much as possible. They pay him $90 dollars a year yeah he signed didn't he sign like a billion dollar contract like nine years ago or something with them like something like at the time i remember it was like the biggest media contract ever uh maybe it was it was like a like literally it was like 12 years ago and maybe maybe like decade at like 90-something million a year.

And then he completed that and now he signed a new five-year deal two years ago, presumably for more money. So he makes roughly $100 million a year? Yeah. I think as soon as he's gone, Sirius is going to be in crisis mode as soon as he quits. I wonder why he still works. So I worked at Cisco and there was a time in the late 90s when a lot of people at Cisco were suddenly rich. Not $100 million a year, but if you've got $15 million in your pocket

and your annual salary is like $10's your motivation right it you work all year you know 2 500 hours whatever it is you're putting in why why he loves what he does nothing changed about your net worth you know like he's been he's been into radio since he was a child right his dad worked in radio like he always wanted to do this he did it in college he did it his dad was um like an announcer or a voice guy or something like that i don't remember he worked in a radio station uh but anyway you should use that as you haven't seen private parts i have seen it i could use that as an argument for why he's done he's accomplished everything he needs to and now he's just on a slow decline right no he's like in his mind he's he's he's like verging new territory. Right. He's becoming the greatest interviewer in the world.

He's he's kind of went away from this wacky like lesbian anal ring toss thing that, you know, the dirtiest game in town. And he's become this really in-depth interviewer who's, you know, working on his craft every interview and getting all these A-list, you know, actors to come in there and sort of bare their souls to him. Oftentimes he's and he's getting better at that. A-list actors to come in there and sort of bare their souls to him oftentimes. And he's getting better at that. I guess that's the answer because I've often wondered what motivates people when money stops motivating them. He is not working because of the water bill. It's not on the radar. Everything in the world is free to him. He could go to a mercedes dealership and just pick four and buy the

dealership yeah actually he literally yeah the whole dealership would he could impulse by that so now why is he working i i guess to get brad pitt to say something he hasn't said before like also i feel like once you've been in the limelight for as long as he has like there's a bit of addiction to that, too. Like you really like being relevant. You like being known for something. And so for him, it's like, OK, money isn't a factor, but I work three days a week. I just get to shoot the shit with people that I find interesting already.

Like, what would I be doing? What's the opportunity cost of me coming into the show? Nothing like getting to sleep in a couple more days a week. Like you're at this point. It's like he can do whatever he wants his sense of identity his sense of self-worth is wrapped around being howard stern let's talk about little howard stern uh ice poseidon okay i literally thought we were talking about his penis and i was ready that's tiny howard my mistake different conversation you can see how i went there so i have not been following this as closely as chis has uh i'm not sure if how much you're

aware else no one has chis literally has a google document that's pages where he's been like keeping track of every little moment of insanity that's happened over the past week. Ice rented an RV. Now, I don't know how he swung that. In America? Yes. Okay. Yeah, what?

Because didn't he just leave America? Am I crazy? Yeah, you're crazy. He hasn't had to flee yet. I have been AFK. For some reason, I thought that he did a global tour. Anyway, please carry on. No, no, no, no. He rented an RV, and I believe the idea is to drive from L.A. to Seattle and back,

which isn't a crazy journey, you know? No, not too crazy at all. We can make it crazy. I just mean it's not crazy far. I don't know how they swung getting this RV into their own hands they there were some lies told there had to have been it must be in someone else's name or maybe I don't know because I know his credits not great and I'm sure there was a security deposit and it's like a hundred thousand dollar RV right I'm

gonna make a prediction that not all of that security deposit comes back to him none of that's coming back to him it's coming back to him woody i'll tell you why because they overflowed the shitter and it flooded the entire thing with sewage and they were all traipsing around in that sewage and ice was barefooted and he thought to get his feet nice and dry he should just rub them all over the couch wait what yeah just rubbed them all over the couch. Wait, what? Yeah, just rubbed them all over the couch. He's sitting on the couch, just puts his sewage-soaked feet on the couch and just dries them off in there. I need to get a little bit of clarification.

When you say sewage overflowing, you mean like literally the shit canister? The toilet is overflowing brown water. So they just didn't empty at any point? They didn't know how. So just shit on top of it. At some point it just starts overflowing into the RV. Traipsing around in the sewage.

I believe that's been handled now because I saw some children on there earlier. They're driving around from state to state smoking weed in the thing. From state to state? That's a terrible idea. Now weed is legal up and down the west coast but not you can't you can't smoke and drive you can't smoke and drive and it's not like a beer it'd be one thing like like maybe all right let's just say

that if let's say there weren't open container laws but there are you could have a passenger in the back of your rv drink a beer I would assume, and it wouldn't affect the driver, of course, but they're smoking weed. They're smoking weed. The driver's up there. He's definitely getting a contact high. Now, I'm aware that that driver has a tolerance that no secondhand smoke is going to affect, but still. But the cops aren't going to care.

How potent is secondhand? So I have no weed tolerance. Would I get high in that RV? Yeah, you'd be real fucked up. You aren't going to care. How potent is second-hand? So I have no weed tolerance. Would I get high in that RV? Yeah, you'd be real fucked up. You wouldn't be good to drive. Okay. Man, that must be a really hot-boxed RV you're talking about. I imagine.

They're smoking continuously from state to state in a recreational vehicle. How many people are in this RV? It changes. So they're just leaving people and picking them up along the way well well one man was taken by the authorities and and and no one would bail him out i i heard keemstar bailed him out i'm not sure about that but last i heard he was in the lockup and they just kept going which one was that i i don't know. They have nicknames. I don't follow it close enough to know all of the nicknames. That was Scooter, Taylor.

You don't know Scooter? That was scuffed Abigail Clark. Scuffed Billy Mays. Scuffed Billy Mays. So at some point there was a fight where this black guy and this white guy got in a fight. Black guy's much bigger. White guy, much angrier. And that mattered in this fight.

He was very quick. He popped the black guy a couple times. Black guy grabbed a fire extinguisher to defend himself. Then that got all... It's all live stream. So you would say the smaller, angrier, whiter guy won. Yeah, absolutely. He broke his knuckle on the black guy's head,

which you might think, that's not a great thing, but it says something about the way the fight went, I think. It was a quick fight in any case. There have been children on the bus. I looked... Can we circle back to the fight? What was the fight about?

You know, they're just shitting on each other continuously, right? Arguing over who deserves to be there and like, who deserves to be there. Yeah. And, and, you know, they're like talking shit on each other and like, and the, and the audience of course is very cruel because you know, they want blood all the time. They're not nice to anybody. They're not, they're not nice to ice. Right. So, uh, the, uh,

Mexican Andy's on there and mexican andy is he's got a bit of an acne problem and a bit of a weight problem as well and uh and they are very harsh with him very cruel i linked some pictures if you scroll up to like 6 10 p.m here of mexican andy there um it seems like honestly he seems like a nice guy chis refers to him as an incel, involuntary celibate person. And like I said, I don't follow as closely as Chiz, but at some point along the road trip, they picked up this Twitch streamer girl who's gorgeous, really hot chick, like a 9 out of 10, very good looking lady. out of 10 very good looking lady and there's this cringeworthy moment where a third party this sam guy who kind of went in halvesies with ice to rent this rv is filming is streaming mexican andy uh they're they're outside the rv and the beautiful chick is right there and he's like so you gotta

you're gonna take her take a little dinner date you're gonna take her out a little dinner date tonight he's like maybe and she's like like super awkward And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like super awkwardly. It's just so cringy. He's been, it's so hard to watch sometimes when they're mean to him about his acne or his inability to get women and stuff like that. I feel bad for him.

Because he's nice, isn't he? You know, I thought he was nice, but they tell me he's evil. They tell me he's a horrible, creepy guy. Who's they? The stream? Chiz, and everybody in the Discord seems to think so. They're like, yeah, he's the kind of guy who buys you donuts and then expects a blowjob

and then calls you a whore when you don't. Like, I don't know. I have a thing. This last weekend, I went to a paramotor fly-in, and I kind of got into a fight myself. You got a fight? Not exactly. Yeah.

So, whatever. I'm out flying around doing my thing, and I come back, and there's a sticker on my truck. Oh, no. A big sticker. It's like a foot tall by 18 inches wide. And it's on the paint. It's on my tailgate.

New truck, old truck. New truck. Oh, no. This truck is like, it's not 24 hours old yet. Like, you know, in my possession. And they put a giant sticker on it. And I wasn't like flaming mad or angry. I was just really sad.

Like, to me, someone had vandalized my truck. And I didn't know how well the sticker would come off. And in my head, I pictured we'd be clawing at it and there'd be scratch marks where the clawing was. Or maybe there'd be a lot of like gooey residue left over. And for the next year and a half, it was going to be like that sticker would be there but in dirt form you know having it here this is what i thought had just happened to my brand new truck and and i don't know how many people can relate to this but i don't get new things like this that often and i start to like bond to material objects in a way that i think is weird and you know but we've we've

noticed right yeah what happened next so uh when we went out to dinner and I just and I was kind of silent and mopey and, you know, like I didn't even know who did it. It was obviously the guys from Aviator PPG because that's what the sticker said on it. But and they're like my friends, you know, they're I like these guys and these guys like me. But it wasn't like I don't think I like being pranked you know like it's not my cup of tea and my wife doesn't like being pranked she'd just rather you be nice to her and uh and I got pranked and put it like I thought they damaged my truck that's between my ears the truck is now damaged because of all the gooey, gummy residue that goes with stickers. And while we're at dinner, actually, there was a long wait to get in.

It was Cinco de Mayo at a Mexican restaurant. And we go out there and we take the sticker off. And it came off fine. Like everything was great. Like once we got it off, one of my friends had a girl with him. And she was like, let's go see if we can make it. Let's go try it. You know, see what we're dealing with. And we went out there and she was just what i needed you know the kind of positive mood we

went out and she helped me and and we got the sticker off and everything was great and we came back and they apologized they were like yeah sorry about that whatever whatever you know like were you really upset and i was like yeah like i like i was upset i was sad. And I forget what they said, but one of them, Kyle. Kyle's young. He's athletic, but he's small. And he said something like he got me good or something. And I was like, we should wrestle. We should wrestle.

I said that. I didn't imagine it coming out that fast. He's like, yeah, we got you good. And then immediately, we should wrestle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So this is like a campfire with like 30 people around it. A lot of them drinking and stuff. And Kyle laughed it off.

But not you. You've got your edge. I do. I'm not drinking at all. And you're the first one to challenge someone to a fight. Such an ass. So things really turned for the worse. So I wasn't there when it happened.

But my perception is that Kyle and his boss, Travis, did the stickering. And Travis was like, all right, Woody, I got you. Travis is a little bigger, but still smaller than me. And he's like a military guy, kind of. He was in the Coast Guard. He was a pilot, et cetera. And he's coming than me. And he's like a military guy, kind of. He was in the Coast Guard. He was a pilot, et cetera. And he's coming at me. And I'm like, all right, let's see how this goes.

They don't teach wrestling in the Coast Guard, it would seem. Because it was very lopsided. Like right away, I did this hip toss on him and his feet got like seven or eight feet in the air. And I tried to place him down nicely, but I was only half effective at that. Like I really did. I wanted to guide him down so gently that I was clearly in control and all I actually, and all I actually did was slow his fall a little bit. And, uh, from there, I don't even remember the train of moves I could

have landed on him. Like at one point, I got an arm bar. Eric Farewell's shouting, don't break his arm. Don't break his arm. So I transitioned to something else, something else. Travis is saying things like, oh my God, he's so good at this. And you feel so heavy. But I didn't hurt him at all. You know, I still like him.

Like we're still friends now. But like, you know how I talk about like what I roll with Joe Lozon. What happens is whatever he chose to happen. Right. I have no say in how this went down. The same thing was true with me and Travis, except that I got to do all the choosing. And at one point it didn't last very long, maybe 40 seconds or so. and uh at one point it didn't last very long maybe 40 seconds or so and uh there were some laughs and uh it was and i actually did feel a little better so wow a little better yeah yeah and like i didn't well i guess you could say that but like in my head i was like we should wrestle all they had to do was laugh it off right laugh it off and nothing would have happened but instead i was sitting in like um you know those fabric chairs that fold up into a pole almost you know that

you might have and he was coming at me and i was like if i don't stand up three seconds from now i'm going to be on my back as he like pushes me backwards in the chair and uh and that's how it started i stood up and then hip tossed him and then off it went so So, yeah, I actually didn't think I could do that anymore. I hadn't, you know, trained in a couple of years. I was like, I imagine that skill just disappeared with front handsprings when I wasn't looking. And at least it's still around to some extent. Well, I'm glad nobody is in trouble for assault. I'm surprised you didn't kill anyone.

That's good. Like when you told me it was the new truck i was like ah see it did you blind him did you take an ear like like i really like them i think they just that's funny i i i don't know like i think some people might even like being pranked and i would if i'm in the shower and you pour cold water over the top it's a laugh right but to me like you vandalized my new truck yeah that's honestly i don't like it when people mess with people's cars that that's definitely a line that shouldn't be crossed um i don't like that at all that that's definitely like there's different kinds of pranks right and like i feel like once it's been established

between a group of people or a couple of guys like like what the levels are like you know cars just like what what does john travolta say you don't fuck with a man's car man remember the guy they got keys his car fiction oh okay yeah yeah you know who did it right who did the who keyed his car in that movie bruce willis bruce willis keyed his car yeah but yeah i totally agree the The car thing is shitty. Especially a new one. And there's new and then there's that new. Like it smelled new. It wasn't 48 hours old yet.

It was really new. And everyone knew about it but me. And that level of information imbalance also made me feel like a real prank victim you know like i i pushed the tailgate up and they're all like what do you think how long has that been there and i didn't know what they were talking about and i was like oh it's a platinum so it has this big silver thing on the tailgate and i'm like that's just the trim level it doesn't mean anything i didn't even see the sticker but the fact that they were all like looking at this fucking off centered, crooked aviator PPG business sticker like and I didn't even see it yet. I'm like, I think they maybe saw the application of it. Like I was the butt of a lot of joke in there when I wasn't around.

And that made me feel worse. And honestly, like I'm surprised that you didn't hurt him I really like him I've known him for years He had built up a lot of emotional bank account credits Good thing right And then it was immediately wiped out There was a 2008 collapse

Do you think he's aware Of just how important That emotional currency Just how valuable It was to him that evening. I can just imagine, like, you've got him in a rear naked choke and you whisper in his ear, if I didn't love you, I'd be chewing one of your ears off right now. I had the rear naked.

And there'd be nothing you could do. I had that choke sunk. That was one of the moves. Yeah. Yeah. There was, like. If it was someone you didn't like. you could do i had that joke sunk that was one of the moves yeah i yeah there was like and if it was someone you didn't like let's just say let's we're at neutral emotional bank account levels all right right like you don't dislike this guy he's just in the crew he it's his first

time there he just he's he's a new guy on the right? He doesn't even have any friends there that would be offended. What happens to him? So I don't break his arm, but 100% chance this fucker goes to sleep. He will go to sleep, and if you've never been choked out, I've been choked out a couple of times, you wake up with a level of confusion that I think is just, that's what I want him to experience. I would like him to be like, what happened?

Well, you just woke up. Yeah, that headache you feel will last for the rest of the night. And everyone's laughing and slightly concerned. You don't know what you just looked like. You were kind of chicken dancing and shivering. Yeah, that would be the penalty. That seems like an appropriate. That's the reason you're in business with someone you don't know at all.

Because you could think that, like, ah, he's going to be asleep any second. And he's like, you know, in a daze like that one guy in early seasons of Breaking Bad who steals, he's tied to that pole in their basement. And when Walt tries to choke him, he takes that pottery out and starts going like that. That dude could like take out, you know, a pocket

knife and like, whop, whop, whop, like three little stabs to your quad or something. That is a risk. You don't want to fight strangers and what he kills not only because you could end up going to prison especially if you're the one who's going to win the fight well he the other guy did start it i mean i invited him but then he came at me he came with nothing i could do well i mean if someone in the street is like fuck you and i'm like oh yeah come and try and assault me and i like beg him on and on and on am i culpable at all is that like instigating in hockey you're not allowed to do it i wonder if that's how the canadian justice system works you know you were right in that you were just defending yourself

but frankly you poked him twice that's instigating oh did, did you see what happened in the Bruins-Tampa Bay game with Brad Marchand? He's this guy known for being a dirty piece of shit. He's very good at hockey. It's annoying because he doesn't need to be dirty. And what team does he play for? He plays for Boston. They just got eliminated. But he was in the face of this guy Callahan after the play. And they were face-to-face. just got eliminated but he was like in the face of this guy callahan on after the play and they're like we're face to face and marchand just licks oh i heard about it from chin to nose like the

guy's like mouth is open there's a great a great photo of it and the nhl like had to come out and like make a rule and said like for the upcoming predators jets game any licking at all will be punished with a 10 minute misconduct it's like you shouldn't be able to lick people that's gross i love that it's not a totally uncommon thing in hockey for people to like find like okay uh sean avery versus who was the rangers goalie back in the day i i forget his name i think, I think Avery was on the Rangers, and he was doing it to Brodeur. Oh, is that what it was? I was going to say Brodeur, yeah. So basically he stood in front of the goalie, he picked his stick up,

and he waved it back and forth in front of his face repeatedly. Apparently, no rule against that. So he did it for a couple of games. And the goalie is like, stop it, like swatting it away like flies or something. And they had to make a rule for it is great that was a good clip because even the announcers like like the fact that nobody had ever thought to just like turn around and face the goalie and take your stick and be like oh can you can you see now can you see now in the playoffs and the announcers like now this isn't what hockey's all about There's frankly no rule against it But this is just shameful

Look at this guy Oh my god Everyone has the lick It's right under his nose He's a good licker Actually He is, he's a rat faced licker Like if I'm a girl

I might be like Those big dog licks are where it's at There's a gif of it kyle if you have any interest whatsoever probably no i'm good you're good i'm good uh well the audience needs to see this yeah it's a it's a good one i'm glad they made a rule against it because i wouldn't want to get licked you you know, playing in sports. This is actually the second time he had licked someone. And the first time they thought it was like a fluke. And they're like, he probably won't lick anyone again.

That's great. I mean, he's probably not a serial licker, right? You know, it's a one-time thing. And like even the captain of the Bruins, which is the team he's probably not a cereal licker, right? You know, it's a one-time thing. And, like, even the captain of the Bruins, which is the team he's on, even the captain of the Bruins, like, sat him down on the bench and was, like, scolding him. And I wouldn't want to be scolded by Zdeno Chara.

He's 6'10". There's no licking in hockey. Yeah, there's no licking in hockey. It's like air bud rules. There's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't play nothing that says a dirty french canadian can't lick a good ontario boy who's uh oh i just had a thing what if the uh what if the the the man being licked had embraced it though and men just turned it into a french kiss what What if he just licked the tongue back

and just started tongue kissing him? That would have probably been the winning move there, right? Right. You have to agree and amplify. I think so. I see that in MMA sometimes. They do those face-offs. I'm sure you've seen it many times

where they just face-to-face. Mostly it's for promotion, but sometimes these guys actually don't like each other and they don't know each other even and they're just trying to get in the other guy's head you know it's 24 hours before they're gonna fight so they'll do some weird shit sometimes or they'll say some odd thing to like try to fuck with the guy and sometimes the thing they do is kiss the other guy they're already like touching noses on so they'll just give him a little kiss or and sometimes that gets him knocked the fuck out yeah i could think of two

times that's happened yeah one the guy just knocks the other one out and he's like what he tried to kiss me like there's a good homosexual why am i in trouble you know i'm not a homosexual he did i saw another one where the guy kissed him back. And they're both like, yeah, I guess I deserve that. It was great. My favorite, it happened fairly recently. Rose Namahunas, her opponent, Joanna Champion, whatever, was talking smack to her. I'm going to crush you.

I'm going to beat you. I'm number one. You don't stand a chance or whatever. And Rose, just like she was in a room by herself, just starts reciting the Lord's Prayer. And it came off as the most badass thing

that she could have possibly done. I don't even notice you. She's just sitting there praying. I don't like it better if she kissed her. Yeah, actually, yeah. I think that's true with most female MMA.ma well not all of them though i said most i was careful yeah they're all fit yeah they're you know mostly i don't want to say if it's cyborg and some chick she's fighting it's technically heterosexual yeah yeah that's

that's straight porn right there there's there's There's enough testosterone on the left side of the table that it's all good. Since we're talking sports and kind of MMA, did you see that there's talk of Nick Diaz fighting, or Nate Diaz fighting GSP at 155? To me, this is the fight whereSP Proves he can make 155 Before he gets Conor Yeah right That's very exciting Or he gets Habib Both fights would be exciting

It makes more sense for him to fight Habib at 155 Wait why Because Habib's the champion Oh but Conor's the money champion He's got the money belt I don't know Let me throw this out there gsp is very interested in his legacy he aspires to go down as the best that's ever done this that's why he fought bisping he's like i can get another belt he's got a 170 belt and a 185 belt if he goes down there at 155 and proves that he beats Conor,

the only other guy recently with two belts, the only guy to have two belts at one time, there it is. He's better than Conor. So now who's the best ever? I think it's against Habib. Conor isn't going to fight anytime soon. He won't be able to fight this year.

And I think it would be Habib. And Habib's even challenged gsp he said he wants gsp if if he makes that weight that just it just makes so much sense and i think gsp beats could be i would love to see that you do yes i think habib is much harder to beat than connor but i don't know i might be underestimating connor i i've predicted connor to lose a couple of times and i'm mostly wrong so i i just find it fascinating uh i'm glad to see the diaz brothers or maybe both of them getting back in the fight game they've tested uh um nate nick i get them confused somehow nick is older nick is the older bigger guy but uh he's been tested twice, I guess, this year. His suspension's over. And Dana said that per all UFC contracts,

he has to give the guys three fights a year, offer them three fights a year. He's like, so if you don't see them fighting, it's because they're turning the fights down. So I'd like to see them both fighting the same card. I think that'd be pretty sick. I read in Reddit comments that Nick isn't even training. And if it's right there in the internet...

Well, they're always training. They're always doing, like, fucking triathlons and shit, right? Like, he may not be getting a speed back. I feel like Nick lost all his muscle, that he's way thinner, that he's not a fighter anymore. Eh, I don't know. I know he's running those triathlons. Is he?

Yes, always. Yeah, that's what he does. I know it used running those triathlons Is he? Yes, always I know it used to be always, is it still always? Yes, he's addicted to it I need that addiction I wish I was addicted to triathlons Rogan had this long distance swim around the other day Did you catch any of that? No

Fascinating guy He heard about long distance swimming And decided other day. Did you catch any of that? No. Fascinating guy. And he, he, he heard about long distance swimming and decided that he would become one. He had never done it before. He had to take swimming lessons. He, he, he, he's like, so I had to learn to swim. And once I had that down, uh, I had done all my practicing in pools and a lake. And then it came time to swim from like, i'm making up the islands but from uh you know san diego to uh the island of kikikaka and uh you know it's nine miles out and then uh another nine miles back but of course you can't swim in a straight line so you have to

sort of aim way over there and and the and the you know the the current brings you into to finally hit the island he's like what rogan's like what time do you start swimming for a nine mile oh it's 20 miles uh because you go back for a 20 mile swim well in the middle of the night uh left about 3 a.m started swimming it's just blackness you can't you can't tell the stars from the reflection of the stars on the water there's just bioluminescent like creatures in the water and you're just you're just swimming through them of course i never swam in salt water so i'm swallowing a ton of it my tongue is swollen and i'm vomiting he's like you're vomiting how do you do that well you just do you just do it he's out and then like he's practicing for some swim and it was like the day after a man

had been bitten in half in san diego by a tiger shark he's like and i see the dorsal fin and i it looks big and i i can't but you can't really tell when you're in the water swimming and i was like do i get out because if i get out and touch land that's it you know the race is over or whatever so i just figured i'll pretend it was a dolphin and i kept going it's like like what's his name do you remember i'd like to catch it i i don't remember how long ago it was um two weeks i would say two weeks two and a half weeks something like that it was pretty it was pretty interesting and he had a lot of um insight into endurance athletes specifically he talked about lance armstrong Lance Armstrong and who's the swimmer?

Michael Phelps. And he talked about their biochemistry and the way that their bodies processed oxygen and the way their bodies processed acid. What's the acid in muscles? Lactic acid? Oh, lactic acid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was down to a science. He was like, oh, yes, he's 13.

Normally, when I get to 12, I'm crawling on the ground and crying and vomiting. But he's performing at peak levels even at 18. Like, I guess 18 is like the acid saturation levels of his muscles or something like that crazy like and but then he he was that was in reference to lance armstrong but then he he talks about michael phelps and he's like he's on the opposite end of the spectrum it's not that he operates at high levels it's that he has a system that gets the keeps the levels low rapidly much more rapidly than a normal human being um it was all really interesting stuff to hear him talk about it and and to hear him like get into endurance swimming just for the the fuck of it seemingly that's neat that thing about lining up so i've done that uh any surfer

knows you look at the current and you sort of walk upstream and paddle out so when i was trying out to be a lifeguard there were like 70 of us and only a couple jobs. And the first test, they kind of use it to weed out the people who weren't going to be good for it. You swam out half a mile, then you swam back. And it's pretty far, right? Half a mile straight out. And everyone else is lined up right with the buoy. When it was clear, the current was going to the north, right?

From the south to the north. And me and one other guy, like there's 70 people, like, in a pack. And me and one other guy were like, you know, we should walk over that way. And we did. And they're all going out, and we're totally virus. It made us feel like we're wrong, right? If you take a test and 68 people answer A but you have B, are you right? You're probably wrong.

And we were not wrong and even though I wasn't the fourth best swimmer there I got fourth in that event. That's nice. Yeah I got first overall but in that particular event I got fourth. I felt really good about it Yeah because everybody else had to swim a mile and a half Yeah yeah they were all

it doesn't take long before you realize you start pointing into the current just so that you can go straight whereas we swam straight and let the current take us over yeah that's really interesting um i don't know if i had anything else i've talked about ice oh wings did fat lincoln terribly? Like, yesterday, the day before. Like, look, like, Taylor, I don't know if you know the history of Fat Lincoln, but there was a time when Wings was bemoaning. You guys bring it up,

but I don't know all the backstory. Wings was complaining, you know, about views and, like, stuff like that. And we'd do this thing where, like, we all gave him, like, brilliant fucking ideas. Like, here's what you do. Like, do a character, right? Like, I told him it would be really fun.

And this is before the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode. I was like here's what you do You go on stream and you're like I found my my grandfather's World War two uniform Maybe I think I'm gonna wear it tomorrow. You know maybe you build that up and then you show up the next day dress the Nazi suit that's a funny idea you have to invest in a nazi uniform but i think it's worth it exactly exactly it's true and then the other idea i was like i was like what if you were fat lincoln what if you were you dressed as abraham lincoln and you gave like a yeah beard full suit top hat and you give a gettysburg address about Call of Duty. You know, four score and three Call of Duties ago, my half million subscribers told me. You know, write something.

Yeah, you plan something out. Spend half an hour and write the Gettysburg address of Call of Duty, which is what was relevant at the time. Maybe something else would be today. Well, he showed up on stream with a top hat. And that's it? Well, what else does... You kind of just have to have the beard,

the hat, and then dress like in an old-timey suit. You need the suit. The suit would be ideal, but you know what? I would have accepted thinking of something to say. Sure. You wouldn't even need the full suit because you're streaming sitting down. You just need the coat top yeah yeah just the coat and then one of those like old timey white collared shirts where like it sticks straight up you know instead of the fold over

that would have been great but i really if he had just had something to say are we watching this video together um i i don't know There's literally music playing in the background. It's PKN, though. He's playing Some Girls Do. Maybe this was a fact-finding mission. He was dipping his toe in the fat Lincoln water, and he'll be back. PKN will not get punished on SEO because it's unlisted. Okay.

Yeah, we can watch a little of this then. I'm at zero. I am ready. I don't know if my network cares about unlisted videos. Well, we can watch a little of this then. I'm at zero. I am ready. I don't know if my network cares about unlisted videos. Well, we'll find out. I wouldn't think they'd care about unlisted. Right? I know they don't care about private.

All right. I'm almost ready. Just making it fit. Are we starting at zero? Yeah. Sorry. it fit are we starting at uh zero yeah um sorry ready set play this is like a woody song it's a nice hat the hat is nice i approve of the hat you know here's what would be funny look i already made it 10 times funnier. What if at some point he took the hat off and there was a whole hoagie in there?

He takes a bite. Puts it back. He takes a bite and puts it back. And doesn't say a fucking word. He doesn't acknowledge it. He doesn't grin. He doesn't wink at the camera. Just mid-game, he pulls a 12 inch meatball sub out of that hat,

takes a big honkin' bite, then puts it back. Ah, time for my salted pork and mead banquet meal! That would be hilarious! Like, that's meme-worthy. Like, that's funny as shit. I think he just got his hair cut. No man, I'm terrible at singing. If he put a hoagie in there, Kyle, you're 100% right. That would be a hilarious little reveal. You know, any sort of

a... Any sort of a... Well, when you're out there trying to get you a new truck, the first thing you want to do is you want to see where you can tie your dog off at, right? And not acknowledging it whatsoever. That would have been great.

That would have been fucking great. But no, he just wore a hat and he sung a country song and then he like danced around a little. He's giving advice now. I don't understand it. ...business that you really looking for a truck. But after you get done dogging the shit out of that motherfucker,

you get out, you reach around, and you grab the muffler. grab the muffler it's a good hide it should burn your hand man if you don't get third degree burns you're gonna i would even think it'd be a good idea to come up with fake historical facts about lincoln and say it as though it were true there's something about tying a dog to it and then holding the muffler and burning your hand i don't know i quit watching it was bothering me. His head's bigger than I expected. Because you're seeing all the potential there. It's so stupid what he's done here.

I bet he'll do it again. Maybe next time he'll crush it. If he got good feedback for it. Oh, you got another idea? No, he said maybe next time he'll crush it and i was thinking oh so to speak because he's so big and everything well yeah the fat lincoln idea does have quite a bit of it has legs and it's not even a referential of anything it's just a made-up thing like you do dozens of things like that he could be fat bismarck he could be fat napoleon he could be he could be fat hitler he could be i'm sensing the

common thread across all these ideas well well one thing could be skinny michael moore that's that's week three when you break out the skinny version of incredibly fat people. Oh, man. Chiz, add this to your fucking ridiculous list of ideas that you're keeping things. Well, maybe I'll tune into some of Ice's stream. Everybody, he has so many viewers, like, it's insane. I'm an Ice highlight guy. I prefer live stream content in highlight form.

Yeah, it's rare that the show gets so good that you need to just watch the whole thing because otherwise the clips are going to be 30, 45 minutes. But sometimes, you know, like, I watch a lot of clips today. Chiz links me the best bits, the interesting clips. I saw a lot of them. But him and the boys, as I call them, have been watching this shit. Like it doesn't seem like they sleep.

Like I go to bed and they're watching it. I wake up and they're watching it. Is it Mitty Smitty? Who are the boys? Yeah, like Mitty Smitty and one of the guys, a couple of the guys from the Hangouts, Xbox PC man, Anthony. He's talking

about it right now. I see. He's in there right now talking about this silliness. I don't know. I like the clips. They're doing some really interesting stuff. They are not getting that deposit back. They also hit a car at one point. Not very hard. Just a little scratch.

They gave the guy $1,000 cash. Just went their separate ways. But they collided with another vehicle in the goddamned RV. You know? I wouldn't lend him my winter coat. Oh, and he's only taken one shower this week yeah i heard about that i that's not enough showers for a week no why not more showers he bragged about his lack of hygiene on on the last

time he was on the show with us and taylor was like ah it's just a bit you know that's just a joke that he's doing you know like yeah i'm the dirty guy but you know, that's just a joke that he's doing, you know, like, yeah, I'm the dirty guy. But, you know, he goes back home and takes a shower like he may even wash his clothes and then put them on again immediately. So it looks like he's where. No, no, no, no. He is a dirty man. He barges to the beat of his own drummer. He explained it. He was like RV smell like he explained to his viewers that because that he's that he's successful and that he's famous, he doesn't have to be clean. See, that seems also like a troll. Like a bit, you know? Hashtag autism. I mean, who knows? I haven't seen enough of this stream to get any of it. I just know that based on when he was on our show,

his description of his hygiene was so over-the-top gross that I didn't believe it. I didn't believe the girl part. Yeah, man, I brush my teeth, like, every other day. It's like, what did he say? Like, a couple times a week or something? He brushes his teeth a couple times a week. He showers maybe once a week, and he wears the same clothes for three to five days in a sitting.

I don't know. Remember when he was like how he doesn't please women, how he's just there to get his nut off and et cetera, et cetera? That part didn't seem true to me. I believe that too. I'm starting to believe it as well. It just seemed like too far. Like who doesn't think of sex as a mutual thing? There's Paul Danino.

There's Ice Poseidon. But those two circles... They have a lot in common. Yes, thank you. Those two circles... This Venn diagram has much overlap. Yeah, right there in the middle. There's just two little crescents on the side that aren't fully overlapped.

There's a lot of lack of hygiene right there in the dead center of that thing. When you guys wake up in the morning and you take the shower, as I assume you both do, as I do, don't you enjoy showering? Don't you like the warm water? Don't you like feeling clean afterward?

I didn't take a shower until late today. I woke up at 8 a.m i got up i had my coffee i uh i watched videos i went to the grocery store i i worked out for a little while and then it was like five man that was like yeah like five and then we're gonna do this show at six and i was like yeah this works out i took the shower like an hour and a half ago or something like that you know like like i it was late in the day before I took took the shower if I have something to do where I were and I and I just look like bedraggled I'll take a shower but every day there's a shower every day there's a shower and usually mine's pretty early like I imagine

Taylor showered before me it was like 8 50 or something but that's morning yeah start of the day yeah it's still morning not early morning. That's the start of the day. That's still morning. Not early morning, but it's still morning. A lot of days I take two showers. Because if I work out, I'm not going to sit on my couch all stinky for the rest of the night. For an enormous part of my life,

I took three showers to keep the acne away. I would wake up, like when I was in high school, I took three showers a day. I would wake up, take a shower, get home from school from school take a shower and then take another before i went to bed because i would be so goddamned oily i like when i was 19 i would like i would wake up take a shower and by 10 a.m i can't express to you how much oil would be on my forehead like a shocking like so much that like if you wiped it it would just be this nasty smear that would stretch for two feet. Like as much grease as if you had just touched the top of a piece of pizza.

Like incredible amounts of oil. You're dabbing yourself off with napkins the way people do it with pepperoni pizzas. If I took those brown napkins that you get at some restaurants and wiped my forehead, you could see it. You could see it. When did that stop? Your 20s? When I was like 25, 26, something like that.

Like, it took forever. I don't get acne nearly as bad as I used to, but I still get it. Hmm. Very frustrating. Well, maybe you can lend the Ice Poseidon crew some skin care tips. I told him what to do. He was like, oh, that's way too much work.

I was like, I told him, I was like twice a day. You take a shower and you exfoliate with this hand palm exfoliator and you use this kind of soap. Whoa. Way too much work, bro. Yeah. All right. Well, you can continue having a back

that looks like you got lit up by an airsoft gun then. You know how... I just sandblast myself once a month. You know how when you did your sling braid imitation, it had this awful response to to it the ice is the complete opposite i am i am immediately drawn into the greatness of your ice poseidon i'm just so happy every time it could be four words i don't know i didn't be neutral we're gonna take an RV trip. I hadn't took a shower in two weeks. Yeah, you're right.

It's suddenly like every time you say it, it's like that's how that's how and what he would say. In character, too. And you're saying that the way he would. He's entertaining, though. I like the girls that like show up Like the girls are real trained One of the girls is bipolar And she's on lithium Which is, in case you don't know, it's a prescribed medication

To keep you from going insane He took her lithium away Told her to clean the RV Or she wouldn't get it back It's late into the afternoon and she's just begging for her lithium. He's like, clean this fucking pigsty up. It's a goddamn mess. No, you're not getting it back. No.

No. She needs that. She needs it. This is like taking someone's insulin. This isn't my doll for a cramp. This is your lithium for your... Wow. This is your lithium. Wow.

Man, he rolls a lot of dice on his trip. I'm telling you, dude. I told you about the drugs and alcohol and sewage and the grown-up fist fights on the RV. Two hours ago, there were 12-year-old children on that bus, on that RV, just chilling. Yeah, but it's not like you just told me a few minutes ago there were drugs on the bus. Their feet are so little, they don't touch the floor when they sit on the couch. They're like, la-la-la-la-la, like kicking their feet in the air because they're not tall enough to sit on the, like an adult. Man, this youngest generation is going to be weird.

Dude. People born in like 2004 or whatever it is you you got a real sense of that when he was at the mall and like about like three or four 12 year olds came up to him and you saw how weird those kids were they're starting off with it like they're getting this at an early age and they were weird kids and they they seem to like i was 12 and streaming and youtube were a thing and my parents found me watching a stream like that that would be strictly forbidden there's no way they would have been cool with me watching what are you doing oh i'm just watching my favorite youtuber do drugs across the country well it's not just drugs mom and dad he's they're

also getting in fights and this one girl who needs her lithium desperately. She's starting to talk to herself in the corner of the RV. Because she wouldn't clean the bathroom. Oh, speaking of the bathroom. No, no, that's not a spilled root beer. That's shit. That's shit all over the floor. Oh, who's that fellow?

That's Mexican Andy. He's an incel. An incel? Yes, an involuntary celibate man. You see he's trying to rape the pretty girl We can't wait to see how it turns out Yeah, how do you go from this like back to normal TV years can be like bored bored? It's not getting hurt. It's not real Yeah

Yeah, no one's broken any knuckles on this that's a fake broken hand yeah yeah no one's went to jail yet yeah they arrested that man they took him they took him good for ice like he's getting a lot i wonder where this comes from he's very successful i agree right and he's famous and he's maybe the biggest streamer in the world could be maybe rogan it would be but you know i no not even close like maybe the biggest like irl one right yeah yeah maybe i should narrow it down biggest irl person on the planet and this is a market that's growing you know this is he's he's a he's a first mover and he's the biggest he's not like i don't know enough about the scene but chisholm is telling me about some other guy who other guy who makes like 10 times as big with IRL stuff on Twitch anyway.

Like, I just. You're talking about like Ninja or something. No. Let me ask Chiz. So, but anyway, in my head, he's crushing it. On the other hand, this is not advertiser friendly content. other hand this is not advertiser friendly content like i i feel like their first comedians using tons of dirty words had a knock against them you know they weren't doing pepsi commercials too they were just doing their own thing so yeah in the same way that like you know i was big in gaming

but if i could have been big in makeup i would would have done much better. Yeah, maybe so. I don't know. The fact that is IRL, so many different things can be ads, you know. But what he does is fucked. There's a lot of like really crazy drama. But if you're Maybelline, do you work with him? This guy with pimples, should we cure that? Nah, let's stay away. Maybe that's the ticket, right?

Like if I'm Stridex, I like whoa stridex we you know what if we need to come together here the stridex demo is watching ice this is a good idea well he'd have to bathe right like it'd be like if someone took on a weight watch Watchers thing and then they gained 15 pounds. Yeah, that's not good. The other part of it is I'm not sure that he can be anything but what he is, right? So if you're Stridex and you're like, look, you know, we need to make a slight lifestyle change and we'll pay you for it. No, can't do it. I know I'm not Kyle. I'm dirty.

I'm dirty. I'm dirty. You want me to change my underwear? Showstopper. Call it a wrap? Yeah, it's steak time. All right. PKN 194.