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And we're live. Painkiller Nearly, episode 203. I said, hey, you guys have any topics? And Kyle had some whoppers.
I don't know about whoppers, but...
Well, Kyle, it seems like you've stumbled upon a little bit of fake news.
I don't like to be the bearer of this fake news expose.
I believed it. Okay.
But I guess here's the deal, and forgive me if I get anything wrong again, but I'm just going on the pictures that I've seen from Wings for Redemption's Twitter.
Okay, he posted this picture, this weight loss picture, and he did it in a doorway, a bathroom doorway, I'm going to assume, that he's taken photographs in before.
Now the wallpaper's changed, it's a much more tasteful beige color back there now.
But one thing that wouldn't change, of course, are the laws of nature. And if you look at the door in the after photograph, it doesn't appear
to be a right angle anymore. And it's especially evident that it has changed in its dimensions
by looking at the previous photograph of the door um i would direct your attention to really any
straight line in this photograph and you'll realize that it has been stretched vertically
to uh make the uh the the uh the subject to appear to appear more uh oh so you think that
the picture has been stretched vertically i guess you just said that very clearly
i was trying to fit i was looking what i was looking for were sometimes when i see people
modify their pictures like fitness models or even dudes around their biceps for a guy or a girl's
ass straight lines aren't straight anymore right that's the thing they do and their ash just adds
a little more curve but hey why does that towel rack have more curve? Exactly.
That's all we have here.
Look at the door.
The door is this weird, like it used to, in the previous picture, it's a door, right?
It's a right angle rectangle.
Previous picture?
What previous picture?
Well, the one you've linked to.
I'm here in the, I'm on the new Skype, so I'm bumbling around through it.
But okay, here it is. There might be something I don't understand. I'm on the new Skype, so I'm bumbling around through it. But, okay. Here it is.
There might be something I don't understand. I'm only looking at one picture.
I went
comparative. Dr. Chiz dropped
it in here. It's at 6.12pm.
Oh. Okay.
Okay.
So you can kind of get an idea
of how that door has morphed
over the years.
I'm trying... Like like you say it,
and I can't tell if I'm seeing it because I want to see it
or if I'm seeing it because it's really there.
Like the only line that looks a little suspect to me
is the far edge of the door.
It does look like it almost tapers in a bit,
like that it doesn't go straight down,
but it's so subtle,
it could just be that I'm looking for that
or the door is not
100 closed against the wall for him to look that thin he'd have to lose like 150 pounds though
right like like look how thin he looks in this yeah it could be just the the scope of the picture
that's tricking me a little bit because that door on the right looks way thinner than the door on
the left right yeah if you look at the width of that door it's a wildly
different thing but i don't know that the proportions of the is it just a very flattering
angle what are we dealing with here see i can't tell it looks like like i'm not willing to say
this is 100 of shop yet because it might just be one of those weird angles where the door isn't
closed or flush with the wall behind it or maybe it's like isn't the first picture open or he's also how about this for for a thing somehow
he's gotten quite a bit taller look at his head so that would happen if he stood closer to the
sink too right or if he lowered the camera yeah the distance the camera From there let me see Like the camera angle if the camera was lower
Then it would project up
And you know put my head towards the top
Of the door right
This is like the Zapruder film
Back into the left
Back into the
You remember that 4chan post from like 10 years ago
Where a dude posted himself all shredded
And they're like you're just mad
You know cause you're 5'3".
And then some one of the
people on the board used crazy
geometry to be like, the standard height
of a doorknob in the US, I assume you're
American, is blah blah blah.
The thing is how your belly button...
They trigonometrically
proved that he was
not that tall. I'm trying to do that here
but I'm not smart enough.
Yeah, I hear you.
I don't know.
I don't think it was done with Photoshop.
That's my call.
I don't think it was done with Photoshop.
Because if it was done with Photoshop, I feel like I'd see...
There'd be fuzziness or...
Fuzziness or something that wasn't straight.
When I look at the aspect ratio...
This is bigger than Moon Landing. When I look at the aspect ratio of the squares in that back door,
they look roughly the same to me.
I'm not seeing a giant difference.
Are they narrower on the right?
Maybe or maybe not.
Maybe because he's coming from an angle in the left one.
It's making them look a bit wider,
whereas straight on they don't look quite as wide.
He does look way better on the picture on the right.
He looks too much better.
He looks like an extra large or a double XL.
I'll tell you, if it's a modified picture, he's playing this wrong.
Here's what I would do.
If I was on the weight loss journey that I think Wings is actually on,
honestly, I think he's going to lose a lot of weight.
If I was on that journey, I would not be showing giant progress pics
10 days out of surgery or whatever he is.
That's not what you're looking for.
Dude, you've just raised expectations for 20 days out or 40 days out.
No one expects him to look that thin yet.
Do you remember how I did the body reveal thing after working out for like
seven months just didn't really mention it at all until i'm like hey this is actually starting to
look kind of good and then you do that and everybody's like oh wow you used to be so fat
and ugly and then you're like and now you're in transition but if you did that every 10 days
it'd be like okay what i get it you're still doing this
but like you can't track the the progress as much he needs to be going hard in the paint for the
first like 40 days and then that first picture shows up and you're just like flabbergasted
there's definitely a thing happening i don't know if it's aspect rate like if it could just be done
in camera.
He may have taken the picture, stretched it vertically, and posted it.
That's a possibility.
But it may just be that however he's holding the camera,
maybe he's standing further or closer to the sink,
or something's happening there that makes him look better.
I wish I had the photo of him like when he was getting the surgery like standing outside because that one is a really good before and after to be like well this was
him 10 days ago and this is supposed to be having that's there i linked his twitter
if you scroll back there's one of him in the lobby with that other group of people who were at the clinic.
Did he?
Okay. That was the oldest picture.
Aside from actual surgery ones.
Incision shots.
Some blood on the t-shirt.
A little bit of pedicure action.
Yeah.
And now I'm in May.
I'm not seeing what you're looking for.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
He took the same picture with a different phone here.
I guess maybe some other people noticed something weird
because he's got the same picture up with a different phone,
and it really does look so much different.
Same picture with a different phone? Yeah really does look so much different same picture with a different phone
yeah yeah on his on his twitter if you just go to his twitter and to his pictures you know
like it's in his top six recent pictures it now the first now the picture of where he
he's like oh well here's a different phone now it looks normal
i see what you see there like it look at the door suddenly look like a square flush door
and not like something from Dr. Seuss.
Which is a bit of an exaggeration.
That's true.
Yeah, I'm saying this is maybe just a door angle thing
or something like that.
I don't think this is photoshopped.
Okay.
I think that
that first phone is very flattering it might be like have you ever put like tried on clothes at
nordstrom or any like department store where they got they all have thinning me yeah thinning mirrors
my grandparents all the mirrors in their bathrooms are thinning mirrors in their house
and so i'll overeat like fuck and then go in there and be like look at this
guy oh damn it like your head doesn't shrink after four pounds of fried chicken you should have known
yeah those vanity mirrors are so easy to fall for that's all i think this is is just a
different camera angle i don't think wings is cheating yeah i think i think you've won me over
i think i'm leaning that way too.
At the very least, however,
he should take all his pictures with that first camera.
I guess I'll just say that. That's the way
to go. You mean the handsome camera?
I think he should switch cameras
40 days in.
Well, we've already blown the load
on that little enterprise, so
he'll have to.
Have you seen those uh those apps that
make you look handsome no like uh it'll just let me let me grab it it's basically uh
one of those filters that you can do where it'll take whatever your facial structure is male or
woman male or female and then like make you more attractive and one of the parody twitter accounts i follow is sexy jim norton and it's jim norton with that filter handsome jim norton and it's it's hilarious
oh my gosh he looks fantastic i know i did not know how effective this was gonna be like yeah
it's really funny he looks like a genuinely attractive man.
When you see him in real life, he just looks almost ghoulish at this point.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's funny.
I assume that's a Snapchat thing.
I don't know.
I don't Snapchat enough to know.
I thought it was going to be, you know, the ones that put like bunny ears on you or the little rabbit
nose and whiskers everyone posts those and there's like this kind of like i don't care what i look
like you know i'll look like a dog but meanwhile it like fixes all the blemishes on your skin and
dresses you up in a half a dozen different ways it's like god no wonder you like it everything on all of those filters are just
they should change the name filter and just call it jawline distractions because that's all they're
trying to do is be like all right how can i get a little more contouring in the jaw area how can i
draw attention from the way like the fact that you know i got some some gullet down here like
oh i'll put something crazy on my head and then it'll distort my head a little bit and make it look yeah it's very silly very
difficult to pick out actually attractive girls on there's a there's
there's one option that I found where it'll take any photograph in my in my
gallery on my phone and it'll make that an overlay for my face so I can then
become anyone I want at random by just downloading lots of images, and it's fun.
Or you could just take your best day and make it your everyday.
I like being Carl.
I download Carl's face, and I'm like, mm-hmm.
And with the overlay, I look just fucking like him because it literally overlays Billy Bob Thornton's face over mine.
So I have a lot of fun with that one.
You've already got the hair.
Can we do a fitness talk?
Because we haven't done it in ages.
It's been two months, I think.
My fitness talk is practically a confession at this point.
About, I don't know, I'll call it five weeks ago, I hurt my shoulder.
Maybe six weeks ago.
And for a couple weeks, I tried to lift through it, but it just kept getting worse. That turned out to be a mistake.
I saw my doctor, my orthopedic surgeon who I love so much a few weeks back,
and it was a lot of good news. He's like, this is not surgical. This is not bad. But what's
happened is that your insertions on your bicep and pec are damaged and you need to rest it.
And they prescribed some deep tissue massage that was painful. He's like, we'll do it once a week, twice a week, and you'd report me to adult abuse.
So I was like, all right, we'll do that.
The masseuse got hurt.
They rescheduled me.
And by the time that appointment rolled around, I felt so much better I canceled it.
And I've started lifting again.
So that's where I am.
I did do a little lifting in the meantime. Like after I
met with the doctor, I got, uh, I was like, what can I do? Like, can I do my deadlifts? Can I do
my squats? I could do some of that lower body and back stuff, but pretty much all the arms and peck
or anything above my head, like even you'd think triceps were safe, but they said, no, it's
stabilizing and you're still fucked. So, uh, so I had to stop. It seemed like everything upper body for almost a month.
And now I feel better and I'm back.
I think the cause of it, I posted this like day in the life that when I was in Kansas
and I was doing bad form on my pushups.
So I fixed my form and I think I was just in balance.
Like the muscles I had been working for a couple months weren't in sync with the new muscles.
I didn't lower my weight when I fixed my form.
And I think that's how I hurt myself.
And one of my takeaways, when you're 45, like a lot of your focus needs to be on not getting hurt.
When you're 25, you feel bad on Friday.
You feel good on Monday.
Hit that shit, right?
When you're 45 it gets
cumulative you know you can't just be like i'm gonna push through this i'll be okay and the
decisions that seemed good a long time ago are not so good now and uh yeah i just need to be aware of
like the cumulative effects and so that i don't have to take a month off again that would be good
and that's where i am also while i wasn't working out i was a little less strict on diet so
fuck me but we're back on the train now yeah i've been not terrible on my diet like not like going
hog wild the last month or so uh but it was mainly just ever since getting back from vacation i never
went hard back into it it was more just like i'll just half-ass it a little bit. So I gained a couple pounds and then was just like, I guess like a week ago almost now.
It's just like, ah, now I'm just starting to feel shitty again.
I'm going to start feeling fat if I don't get this under wraps.
And so I've been very, very good since then.
And working out, I don't mind working out.
I rarely, if ever, skip workouts.
The only time I do is if I have that kind of soreness where I'm like,
this doesn't feel like a muscle soreness.
This feels like I might overexert myself because I'm not quite as athletic as I would hope.
Am I supposed to get a good burn in my tendons?
Yeah.
Am I supposed to get a really tight feeling?
Am I supposed to wake up in the morning like, no!
What if I lean on my right shoulder?
Should that hurt for six hours?
That's how all these weighted lunges I've been doing are.
They're my least favorite exercise on earth.
I hate these, but that's why I'm making myself keep doing them because they're so hard.
What do they look like?
Well, it's just like I hold like a 50 in each hand as I'm doing lunges forward and back.
And then by the end of it like your grip strength is
starting to fail your legs hurt so bad like like after the first like well i guess after the first
week it wasn't as bad but the first few times i really pushed myself on it like my ass just hurt
so bad the next day dude just like i felt like i was walking like somebody had spanked me hard in Kyle's dungeon.
I do a similar exercise, but it's a walk.
I could even show it.
The way that wrestlers do is shoot.
They take a step and they just have their knees skim the ground and take another step.
Here, hold on.
Looks like this.
You walk.
You walk, bring this down and up Yeah, we used to do those
I remember doing those in wrestling class
Oh, okay
So very similar
No wonder you sprawled well five years ago
Anyway
So similar exercise
But we don't go backwards
We just walk
And I do a lot
I do 30 and I have 10s in each hand
Not 50s
But it burns.
It's exhausting.
By the time we do like a lap around the Game of Thrones room
and back into the gym through the master bedroom.
And by the time I get back into the gym, that is my all.
It's everything that I can do.
And I'm pretty, like my upper body has never been special,
but my lower body is kind of strong.
It fucking kills me.
Yeah, the limiting
factor for those kinds of exercises often are your grip strength just being able to hold on
for that long as opposed to your legs you just you just tie them to yourself
hardcore you're using just time to yourself yeah you're using bigger if i have tens and i'm dying
on my i think i might do a lot might do more reps because I do like 30.
Yeah, definitely.
I do like 10, 12, or 15 usually depending on how strained I am.
And I'll do that five times per workout.
And so if it's like the last one, I might only do 10 if I did like 12 or 15 the previous four.
It's tough.
My workout is all i can give but sometimes when i
hear about your workout i'm like fuck taylor can give a lot more than me right now this is this is
where it stacks up you're like i've got 18 years to catch up though yeah there is that uh but oh
you're like yeah yeah so i do you know i only do 15 five times i'm like the fuck you know and uh
but yeah so i i backed off a lot of my weights because i'm just kind of getting back into it and five times. I was like, the fuck? But yeah, so I
backed off a lot of my weights because I'm just kind of getting back
into it. I really focus on form.
Anyway, but I'm happy. I'm proud
of myself for being on the horse.
Over and over for me. The working out is
fun because you feel so good afterward.
But eating right is so not
fun. It's so not fun.
The other day, because I stopped buying snacks for myself
like 100% a week ago. I even cut out my favorite snacks like almonds because i would sit
there and eat a whole tin of habanero barbecue almonds which are which are pretty good i hear
and i would and so i bought like these sweet peppers that like you just eat like plain and uh
baby carrots and that kind of shit and there are are times where like, I'll open my fridge, be like,
is there anything to eat?
And there'll just be baby carrots looking at me.
And I'm like,
guess not.
And then I'll tell myself,
I heard someone say this once and it stuck with me.
And I try and like repeat it to myself where this, this one trainer,
he's like,
if you're not hungry enough for an apple,
you're not hungry.
That trainer is full of shit.
That's true. like if i want cheese
it's so bad like i'm just getting up because i want those carbs like if i'm really hungry i'll
eat a little bowl of carrot sticks or peppers or like saute some asparagus or whatever the hell
like i'll do that for for years now my wife she does all the grocery shopping and she would stock
the house with snacks you know trail mix was my particular weakness weakness and but there's always lots of choices and stuff
there are no snacks in this house none she comes back from shopping she buys fucking carrots
cut in the shape of potato chips like i'm that easily fooled they've got the ripples in them
and everything.
They look like, I don't know if it's late ruffles, I guess it'd be.
I don't know.
Do you dip them in anything?
No, there's no dip in the house.
All there is is healthy shit.
So I went like for years, like this temptress is stocking the house with sinful food to like, baby, there's nothing to eat.
If you're going to dip your veggies in ranch, just eat chips.
Maybe some sort of vinaigrette, though, right?
That might be good.
Yeah, everybody likes vinaigrette.
I don't know how that would do with dipping carrots in that.
Yeah, just splash it around in there.
Maybe eat it like a soup.
I know this would never be your snack of choice.
No, not a big fan of carrots at all.
No, definitely not.
I don't know what a healthy snack would be.
I guess I like tuna salad, but that's not that healthy, I suppose.
It's just packed with mayonnaise.
I don't put that much mayonnaise in there.
Just enough to hold everything together.
Yeah, just a glue.
It's obviously white food, you know.
It's organic mayo.
This morning I had a bowl of fruit for breakfast
and a coffee.
For lunch I had water, George Foreman chicken
and mixed vegetables.
And I had a coffee before this show.
That's what I've eaten so far.
This is pretty good.
I have to get to sleep without fucking
up and that's not done yet so there we go it's late at night that all my fuck ups come like even
during the week like once something about like after 9 p.m it's like oh i just want to eat
something just for the fuck yeah but like i just switched that kyle's schedule because then 9 9 p.m
will be like lunch maybe like 11
c's something around that it's the appropriate time to eat yeah kyle you've been hitting it
hard or where are you on the on the kyle cycle i have been dieting the last couple of weeks
uh i think the first 10 days I lost 16 or 17 pounds.
So, yes, I am on the starving myself part of the swimming.
It's fun.
Have you seen the subreddit poking at you?
No.
Oh, yeah, they're poking at you for a while. I'm like, I wonder if Kyle's even seeing this.
But, yeah, silly people.
Are you still on the the kyle crash or are you kind of
tapering your way out of the kyle crash no the kyle crash continues no it's still going how far
are you away from trying to get back down to or what are you trying to get back well like i always
say i'm going for that chase utley look i want to appear very gaunt. Like I've been weakened by something vampiric, perhaps.
Oh, okay.
Like that really attractive stage,
like a year and a half after you get HIV.
Yes.
Chase Utley, the baseball player?
This is new to me.
Oh, it's from Sonny,
where Mac tries to starve himself.
And they're like, because Mac goes, I haven't eaten in three days.
Because they're going to meet the Phillies.
And Dee's like, Mac, why haven't you eaten in three days?
And he goes, well, I'm going for that gaunt athletic look to try and impress Chase.
I think he'd really be impressed with my speed.
Dude, Mac looks amazing.
Oh, he's shredded now.
When he got fat for the role, I thought it was funny. Now that he's shredded, when he got fat for the role i thought it was funny now that he's shredded
it's just impressive i it is but i like the way they played that i feel like they almost like
that mac has always wanted to get shredded like as a personal level guy because like this is the
always kind of yeah the actor uh rob mclehaney like he always kind of liked
working out like he had that occasionally works out body for years and years and then he got fat
and then now that his characters finally come out as gay i feel like he sees it as an excuse like
boom perfect little intro to the story for why i can now get shredded you know because he's trying
to to fuck fuck gentlemen all around philly i wonder if he's
on steroids or if he just accomplished that like i he's not that big of a guy but he's like they
also you know they lose body fat on it pretty sure i don't know look i have to get on steroids
and report back to you guys enough of this like oh I did push-ups wrong and had to take a month off bullshit that comes with age.
What is that?
What is that?
At this rate, Kyle's going to be on steroids before you.
He'll just pull the trigger.
Yeah, definitely so.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
If Kyle solves that puzzle, I guess he's just going to be like, hey doc, that prescribes me anything I ask for,
I'll take it, and that's that.
I need to go to shadier doctors.
I don't have a shady doctor.
I would be great at that.
I ask for things that I medically
need, and he gives them to me. I need a more
compliant doctor, because I ask my doctor
for things I medically need, and he
disagrees with me. He works
for you!
He works for you. He works for you.
He's your employee.
I want to see Kyle on steroids because then,
you know how there's clean bulk
where you eat really good above your caloric limit
while you're working out to put on mostly muscle and some fat,
and then you cut that?
Or you can dirty bulk, which is you just eat a ton of shit.
You gain a lot of fat, and you gain
hopefully quite a bit of muscle
as well, but you gain a lot of fat.
You would be just in
permanent bloat mode
if you got on steroids, because you would
just be feeding yourself, not the
right calories, but enough
calories. That, like, just in the
mix of the Taco Bell meal, you would get
150 grams of steroids
would do in this situation they would let him eat terribly and be hot is that what you're saying oh
no no he wouldn't he wouldn't still be hot like he would just you think they make you hungry oh if
you're working out as hard as you can on steroids like it allows you to work out harder so it's
going to make you be hungrier because you're putting on more muscle mass like in the amount
of time allotted and so i could just picture kyle putting on like 60 pounds of which
maybe maybe 20 pounds was muscle and then you would cut down from that on the old kyle crash
yeah see this is your life plan this is what you this sounds healthy i'm on board i'm on board
this would be good you'd be a very imposing
figure.
People would see you
walking down the road
and they would cross the street.
I like that. I've always wanted that.
I don't think I'm ever going to be
that monster ever again.
A couple neck tattoos.
Some knuckle tattoos
and you're there.
I like this. Live. A couple neck tattoos, some knuckle tattoos, and you're there.
I like this.
Live.
Yeah.
Dude.
This is a rare.
I have gone through a phase.
There's a YouTube channel called Lockdown 23 in 1.
And this is my second ex-con YouTube channel that I've gotten into.
And he basically just tells stories, tells the stories at the time someone put out like a hit on him.
I think it was called a green light or a call.
It wasn't like a murder hit, just a beat up hit.
He talks about some of the fights that he's been in and it just what it takes to survive in prison.
And I don't know if this is a guy thing or just a Woody thing,
but do you sometimes wonder how you do there right like okay me the me
that everyone knows my story has been told before tomorrow i'm texting and driving two counts of
vehicular homicide now i've got 10 years in prison how are we gonna handle this how are we gonna get
through the next 10 years this is a tough situation to be in.
I'm sure a lot of these guys could really use an accountant,
someone to look after their ill-earned gains on the outside world,
someone to help organize things, or else.
How long can I pretend to be an accountant before they figure it out, though?
Like, all right, give me all the documents.
These numbers indicate funds
it's just man i he talks about some of the he talks about how to behave and like how to
how to get yourself in trouble things to avoid doing some of them i'm not that good at right
like i think hypothetical woody in prison could get a little stronger. But this guy, 23 and 1, there's no world in which I beat him up.
That's not going to happen.
I can be a better version of me, but I can't be that guy.
You think he's a biter?
No, I don't.
No?
Yeah, he's got all these codes and honor about him.
I think he's ferocious, though.
about him.
I think he's ferocious though.
But there's a lot of men in prison who
there's just no world in which
that I can best them. I'm not going to be the
toughest guy in prison so we need some other plan.
One of the plans I hear a lot
is keep your head down, stay out of trouble.
He talks about how when he was young and
didn't know better, he would just look in everyone's cell as he walked by and some bigger badder guy scared
him and was like i wish i could do like his storytelling but he's like bro what the fuck
you can't be looking at people's fucking cells you're gonna see something you don't want to see
something dirty something disgusting something wrong and then you've got a problem because you know about it.
And he just, like, you know, now, like, you've got a secret.
And they'll beat that secret out of him.
They might need to kill him, you know, because who can keep a secret?
And they're like, you keep your fucking face down
and you don't look in people's cells as you walk by.
And he tells it like it's serious.
And I'm like, man, can I be not nosy for 10 years?
That's a tall one for Woody.
That's a tall one for Woody.
You know, or I don't know.
Like you never talk about someone else because you're trapped.
This is the environment we have to live in.
You know, who here on this show hasn't talked trash about someone else?
I mean, I don't think any of us would be doing splendidly.
And they're like, you see one guy talking about another guy, you just leave.
You don't join in.
You don't participate.
Can't trust anyone.
You might think your celly is your guy, but that celly's in a gang with another.
No one is your friend.
Jail, which is different than prison.
Jailails like the
queuing area um he's like people are in there they're guilty they're trying to get their turn
they've already been sentenced they're trying to get that lowered so they might listen to what you
did and then want to snitch on you as a witness against you so that they can get less time no one
is your friend they're all out for
themselves and i'm just like my gosh you know like i can keep my mouth closed for a while but what if
i have 10 years that's a long time not to fuck up i think i'm too social an animal yeah if you ever
go to prison like you want it to be when you're like 68 or something to where you're just the old guy there where like he's not worth
recruiting he's not worth beating up like you just go play baccarat with whatever other you know
septuagenarian degenerates there are in your block like a morgan freeman type character yeah
big mike another youtuber who's uh it's called like fresh out of prison or something
like that and uh or life after prison and he was saying that if you're over 40 sometimes you get a
pass you're just not in the game you know it's these young bucks who in their 20s and 30s all
competing for position and guys over 40 if they choose to be, can just be set aside. Because they're not players in this thing.
Maybe that's where I want to be.
Yeah, you don't want to be a player.
No.
I don't want to be a pawn in some kingpin's game.
This is not a game I'm winning.
Yeah.
You're like, Jackie, you won't believe it.
I made lieutenant.
Yeah, I made lieutenant.
You must be so proud.
I got a little bit of ink.
Yeah.
Your whole face is a spider web now.
I know, but my butthole is looking a lot better.
Yeah, that's a thing too.
And I guess normally everyone goes in.
If you're black or Mexican, you go in a gang.
This is what I'm learning.
And for them, God, it's going to sound racist, but this is what I'm learning.
Don't judge me for them.
It's not the worst thing.
Cause like a black guy's in a gang.
Then he comes back and they don't look at him like, oh my gosh.
You know, when you were in prison, you did horrible, evil things.
They were just like, yeah, you're in a gang.
That's what prison is.
If you'd leave prison and you're like, yeah, to join the aryan nation it was a thing excuse these
swastikas on my back and knuckles then like you don't rejoin society in a regular way like i don't
think they're letting you in that easily i don't think they want you that could be an issue i'm
quite charming kyle i'm pretty sure that that's the common thing.
You come in and they're not going,
ooh, let's get him in the drug gang.
Yeah, he'll make deliveries for us.
I'm sure he'll never rat.
He looks like the kind of guy who'd keep all of our secrets. They don't want you,
because the first thing you're going to do when you get caught,
you're like, Big Mike said that I had to get all these bags of heroin
down here to C-Block,
or he'd stab me in the ass with a broomstick.
Now, I'm going to tell you what.
That did not sound fun.
So, yeah, the big Mike.
Yeah, you see him there,
the giant man that Mike carved into his chest.
That's him.
Yes, he'll tell you everything.
He'll put it upside down because he carved it.
That's great.
I like your joke.
Yeah, I don't think they want you.
Yeah, I want him on the show show i want him as a guest you might have saw i wrote to oh maybe not but anyway i wrote in the other
pka chat that like hey this is a guy tell me if you think he'd be good but um he tells stories
it's what he does and his channel's doing well and and he just man if you see this guy tell stories
people say like oh this motherfucker's real.
Something about this dude is the realest motherfucker.
Like, he is not pretending.
I would like to ask some questions about prison.
Yeah.
If we got him on an episode, we just need to play it off like it's normal.
And we're like, and we have a little bit of intro music.
Just give us one moment after that.
You know, P.K.A., blah, blah, blah, blah, Kyle.
All right, and?
And then you play the intro to oz
just intro to oz and then you come after that all right and our guest
that'd be good as long as he doesn't know where any of us live yeah he probably doesn't want to
go back to prison as long as you know he doesn't even stories like man i miss this about prison he was so he was the brotherhood he does prison tattoos
and uh because he did prison tattoos he was kind of in with everybody and it gave him like a unique
overview to all the dramas and interact drama and interaction that people have in the prison
and uh man i would i don't still think i need to not i need to avoid those two counts of vehicular homicide that get me 10 years.
That'd be awful.
Yeah.
Well, hopefully your new truck is definitely equipped to crush some people, though.
It stops on its own.
Well, that's how they're going to convict you.
They're like, Your Honor, he bypassed all of the safety measures to get more horsepower.
The man flew earlier in the day with a fan on his back.
Are we going to allow this man, who is clearly not a saint,
not a saint, dictate his conversion story?
Why are we considering the truck anyway?
It's definitely a paramotoring accident that does this.
That's the two cases of vehicular manslaughter.
It's you crashing into a group of little children yes yeah yeah the band cover
comes off and you and and you're just spinning around in 360s and eight more assaults maimings
yeah yeah dude it he uh anyway i i'm just recently addicted to his channel and and just yeah you hear his advice
like how to get into like what do you do if you're in a fight what do you do if you lose a fight and
how do you keep your chin high and what do you do this and how do you handle that and it's like
fuck there are a lot of rules for prison that aren't intuitive to me no no I'd rather... Man. I'd rather go to, like, Canada prison.
What's that going to be like?
You know, I know you guys are getting tired of waffles and maple syrup every morning,
but you did the crime, and now you're going to do the time.
You know, believe you me.
And outdoor hockey today, that's been cut from five to four hours.
Believe you me me that'll be
four to three if you don't shape up just kidding it's back to five i love that
back to five i'm sorry on behalf of the entire garden correctional facility i love that in a
trailer park boys like ricky there's a prison hockey team and ricky's on it and and they're
gonna play they're about to play against the guards in the big game guards versus inmates and the guard makes sure he
releases ricky early so that he can't play in the big game and ricky's like fighting to stay in
prison he's like no you can't kick me out donnie this is bullshit like like all the way until he's
like outside the game this is the championship game is he good is ricky good in this story oh
okay yeah yeah yeah he's like the coach.
As he's leaving, he's like, watch
your instep, Larry. He always hooks it.
Watch him. He's just giving
last minute instructions to his whole team.
That's fun. That was a funny
scene. Yeah, Canadian
prison probably wouldn't be nearly as bad.
Like Norwegian prison is where
you want to be. They don't even have walls.
You're outside outside it looks like
a vacation spot they just like put you in a town kind of far north and they're like now it's the
honor system here it seems that way it's it's funny because they take their people and they
seem to rehabilitate them and really set them up for success in life but it's not punitive like an
american prison and as a american you kind of think like,
it should hurt a little, right?
Like they should hate prison.
Yeah, you should hate prison.
But I mean, you should be trying to rehabilitate.
But then there's also a line there
where it's like,
oh, yeah, we're going to rehabilitate
this child molester
who kept three kids in his basement
and molested him.
Like, no no you're not
rehabilitating that person they should never be they should never make it out there's nothing
you can do you're not going to rehabilitate them but if it was woody you know flying his
paramotor and he hits some child who was carelessly you know frolicking in a meadow
do you promise never to fly again yes Yes, I promise. All right.
Get out of here, you scamp.
Did you see the nod?
You will be serving the rest of your sentence, Mr. Woodworth.
My paramour.
Little Tommy's.
In the sky cell.
The two little girls' fingerless family are watching through the boardroom. They lost all their fingers to your blades when you were spinning.
The whole family was there.
Yeah. They were trying to pull Woody off of the little girls
as they were being ground down to a pulp,
and their digits all got sucked into the fans
just right through that little guard there.
Fucking prop holes and everything.
The whole family having to sign all the documents with their mouths.
That's right.
That's right.
One dirty pen.
Oh, shit. Yeah, absolutely. One dirty pen.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's what's coming.
I was very pleased when I saw that DC won that fight.
Right.
So much is cool about that.
He seemed like a genuinely nice guy,
and it seemed like he was up against something that was
insurmountable, and he fucking won and and won pretty fucking convincingly you know knocks the guy out
and then brock lesnar storms into the uh the ring and challenges him and uh and and now i'm excited
for that now i want to see this guy fight brock lesnar i saw lesnar entered usada on the third
i watched brock lesnar walk in at the end of that fight, and it looks like he was just a fighter from whatever league is above heavyweight
coming in to talk.
Because Miocic and Cormier are big guys in their own right.
Miocic is a little bigger, a little taller.
But man, Brock has to be even taller than Miocic,
and he's wider than Cormier.
Yeah.
That is an imposing dude.
For people that don't know, the heavyweight class is 206 to 265.
And it seems like a lot of the elite heavyweights are like 240-ish.
You know, they don't weigh the full 265.
Brock weighs more than 265.
He has to cut weight to make heavyweight.
Yeah, he's
there dehydrating himself before
the weigh-ins so that he can get to
the heavyweight limit. He's got like
30 pounds of hand weight.
Dude,
it's crazy. Now,
Cormier will be favored in that fight.
That makes sense
because he's like the more well-trained fighter.
Yeah.
Brock's no joke.
He was a Division I All-American in heavyweight.
And he was an ex-champion, actually, in the UFC.
He's been out of it for so long, though.
Right?
Just last year or so.
You know, he gave someone some brain damage.
It seems like recently.
Mark Hunt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He won?
Well, he won the fight, but it's a no contest because he got busted for steroids of course but uh you know he got all his
money and waited out his suspension wwe guy they're all roided up dude the thing is so what happens in
the ufc is if you want to get into it, USADA does the testing for drugs, and you have to test for six months before your fight.
Well, they waived it for Brock Lesnar.
Like, of all people, like, ah, he's probably fine.
So he didn't have to go through six months of testing before his fight.
They shortened that.
And then he gets busted for steroids, and, you know, he wins his fight.
He serves out his steroid punishment,
but that's not even a punishment.
He only wants to fight every two years or so.
So they're like, oh, one-year ban.
He's like, yeah, fine.
I'll be in the WWE.
Call me after a year.
I'll be making even more money.
Uh-huh.
You know, and you need a little rating spike,
and I'll be back.
Yeah.
Personally, so Miocic?
Did I pronounce it? Does anyone know how to pronounce it for sure? Sounds right so Miocic, did I pronounce it?
Does anyone know how to pronounce it for sure?
Sounds right, Miocic.
Kyle's saying no.
I don't know.
It's hard to pronounce.
Anyway, I really like him.
He's a great guy too.
One of the best champs ever.
He always volunteers his money and time at the local hospital,
and he's classy, and he's funny, and he's a good guy.
DC is also a good guy. It sort of sucked knowing that one of them was going to lose i thought miochic would win but i
was wrong i owe kyle five dollars and it's just a shame to me i don't know it's a shame that one
of them had to lose i woke up the next day with like oh like the world's slightly different there's
a new heavyweight champ like it it had an impact on me i was a little sad and happy for dc and i don't know hey he's got two
belts now that's cool i like that he's you know he's one of those people now just like connor
who's simultaneously held two belts uh and i'm really looking forward to his next fight. I want to see him fight Lesnar.
I think he wants to fight Shogun at 205 next.
There's no way that's what he wants, right?
Like, he wants that money.
I think he tweeted it.
I think he said that if Shogun wins his next fight,
he'll squeeze him in before the...
Because the Lesnar fight's a little way off.
He's got to go through this...
They're not going to do the drug testing thing
where he gets to skip it again. Yeah. Sonar fight's a little way off. He's got to go through this. They're not going to do the drug testing thing where he gets to skip it again.
So that fight
is a little way off. He's trying
to squeeze in two fights. He wants to retire
when he turns 40, and he's
39. So he's trying to squeeze in two
fights and then
head into the sunset.
John Jones is out there just chomping at
the bit, wishing he could get into this.
I heard him talk about John Jones.
You should go join the WWE and get that free little bit of leeway, right?
That's not a bad idea.
So John Jones is in the discussion, according to many people, of being the GOAT, the greatest of all time.
And he's like, no, he's a cheater.
He got caught for performance-enhancing drugs twice.
He's not in the conversation.
When people talk about baseball, they don't throw out
Barry Bonds or Mark McGuire or Jose
Canseco. There's an asterisk next
to their accomplishments. That is
the case with Jon Jones. And I'm listening to him
and I'm like, you know, this is making a lot of sense to me.
Does Jon Jones have
amazing accomplishments in the octagon? Yes.
But he's been busted twice
now.
So, I just amazing accomplishments in the octagon yes but he's been busted twice now so i just feel like he can't be in that discussion for greatest of all time
yeah i i see where you're coming from but he just he probably still is though right like a lot of
people did steroids but he's never been beaten i'm not counting that that 12 to 6 elbow
disqualification because that's stupid.
He's never been beaten.
I think that counts for – it's just as much of a positive as getting popped twice is a negative almost.
Because there's been – like there's plenty of guys in the UFC who have been like – who have cheated throughout their careers any way they could.
But they didn't do that.
He's the best person on steroids, and I feel like, you know, like 70% of them are on steroids.
And probably 90% of the best of the best are on steroids or something.
Maybe they're blood doping or making sure they get a little bit more oxygen in their blood cells or something for recovery or something for cutting weight or something for recovering from cutting weight.
Everybody's got some little edge probably.
He was saying that like, you know, when it comes to greatest of all time, DC's in that conversation.
I'm not saying he's it, but he's like, if you
want to say that Demetrius Johnson is better than
me, if you want to say GSP is better than me,
I can live with that.
Because they've never been caught with anything.
There's nothing shady about their careers
the whole way through. But Jon Jones?
Not that guy.
He's not better. He beat me twice, guy he's not better he's you know he beat me twice
and he cheated and it's like yeah and dc has never been beat by a non-cheater he only has two losses
and they're both to john jones so the you know he's 14 and i think that says even more about
john jones though but he's a cheater. He is, but
I'm just not sure how impactful his second
round of cheating was.
That's the one where he got caught with antibiotic steroids.
The micro
dose of the steroids.
That one doesn't bother me.
I'm not counting the most recent one
that he's worried about because that one
just seems so fishy.
I believe that he's worried about because that would just seem so fishy.
I believe that he was definitely on something.
I don't think the test lied, I guess.
But I don't think that he was actively taking something for that fight.
I think something else happened.
The creatine cocaine theory seems silly to me.
It's like, what a crazy long shot.
But something else could have happened.
All it would take was somebody to a little something is Gatorade.
Right.
And here's where I get outside my depth. Right.
Because like,
I'm like,
so here's something I don't know,
but it's in my head.
Is there a difference?
But like,
let's say,
let's say it's me doing steroids and I do a big dose in May.
And then you test me in June and there's only traces left.
Or I take it in June.
Just a trace by accident
because it's in my Coke.
Do the tests know that?
Like when they say it's just a micro dose, does that mean it was almost out of my system
and I took a lot or I took a little just recently?
I don't know how the test distinguishes that.
I don't know either.
But when I've ever heard it discussed, it was that it had to be a micro dose that he took like it would have been a useless amount
of an illegal substance essentially but whenever i hear it discussed it's john jones telling joe
rogan and joe rogan just believes every piece of shit that falls out of a fighter's mouth
and space aliens and you know moonwalking in 9-11 he's he's gone backwards
on the space aliens and the 9-11 but i just i think that it's a matter of like professional
courtesy that if a fighter comes in and says like man the darndest thing happened. I went on this great winning streak.
I hit my peak at 47.
And, you know, I've got the body of a 19-year-old.
And, you know, believe it or not, they spiked my Coca-Cola with anabolic steroids.
Joe Rogan just says, yeah.
I buy it.
He always buys it. You know who I saw during that fight who looks like he might be the most athletic person in history?
Yeah, Costa or Paolo Costa.
That dude, it looks like they were like,
Hey, come on, we got to finish up this Tommy Hilfiger underwear shoot because you're needed out there in the octagon.
He's like, all right.
That dude was like the other guy in the ring i felt bad for him i was like oh dude look at look at
how he looks and look at how you look you're both you both weigh the same and that guy doesn't have
an ounce of fat on him like you can he doesn't even have a an eight pack there are like little
mini striations in the middle of the apps.
You could divide that by infinity.
The other guy that you're talking about is Uriah Hall,
who himself is like a perfect specimen.
Uriah Hall has been described as a video game character
with all the attributes maxed out,
yet somehow next to Paula Costa, he didn't look impressive anymore this guy is just
a superhero he's an action figure yeah suddenly like uriah hall who would look shredded next to
anyone like this other dude comes in there and the size of this guy's shoulders it's like when
you would snap like a broken hulk hogan arm back into the body of it, you know, on an action figure.
When it would break, you'd have to like snap it in and there's that giant ball shoulder
joint.
Like this dude, I don't know anything about UFC for the most part.
And I told everyone of my friends at my buddy's house when I was watching, I'm like, I'll
call this one.
Do you guys want me to call this one?
It's that demigod who just floated down from the skies.
Like the son
of osiris or whoever the hell just showed up here like just uh insane like how does that how is that
guy not on steroids if you guys are watching pkn right now i'm showing a little repeating gif
video type thing of uriah hall this is the guy whose body doesn't look good next to Costa. This guy is a perfect specimen himself.
But next to Costa, not perfect specimen.
Yeah.
It's like seeing a normal fat person at Walmart
versus watching My 600-lb Life,
where you'll see like, oh, wow, that person in the mobility scooter,
you can see little bits of ass hanging off the side.
Like, that's pendulous and gross.
It's shaking as she turns into the bean aisle.
You don't need more beans, man.
And then see in, like, My 600-lb Life where they're like,
well, yeah, she gets dirty.
You got to scrub under the foals, you know.
I invested in a caterpillar.
You know, bring that over here.
Lift it up and scrub.
But, like, it's that level of difference where you think you know an extreme. It's like,
oh no. No, you don't.
Yeah, that guy. Good for him.
I want him to fight.
I wanted Chris Weidman to get the next title shot.
If people don't know,
Chris Weidman fights at 185
and they're trying to figure out who Whitaker
fights next. It seems that they've
picked Kelvin Gastelum.
Probably close on that pronunciation. He's not a bad choice. Kelvin Gastelum. Probably close on that pronunciation.
And he's not a bad choice. Kelvin Gastelum won like three of his last four. And Weidman's like
the flip of that, if I remember right. But Weidman's win is against Gastelum. And a lot of
the people he lost to are not contenders. Either they just lost to him or they're not at 185.
And I also like Weidman. Anyway, let Costaa fight weidman winner for the title after gastelum
that's my matchmaking yeah that dude's what's what's uh prime age for a ufc fighter i'm gonna
say 29 to 30 something like that it seems to be when they're best it My theory on that, if it's a simple, simple sport,
like swimming is very simple,
then it's young guys that kill it,
like 22.
If the sport's complicated,
UFC, NBA, or basketball, hockey,
they seem to peak a little later.
What would you say,
the 30 best hockey year?
For hockey, I'd say 27 to 30.
Probably 27 to 29.
That's where I put complex sports.
And that's where the UFC falls.
Yeah, I'd agree with that.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Did we have another topic
pre-show aside from the
doctored photo? Oh, I think it was maybe
the DC thing.
Yeah, but I'm happy for the guy. I hope he made a ton of money and i hope he continues to make a uh you know a ton of
money meals next fight this is or dc i don't care about him dc yeah i don't care about the other guy
i think you'd like me more behind the scenes yeah why do you like dc so much compared to the other
guy dc seems like such a nice guy.
Like, I watch DC.
There's a good clip of Habib is recording DC while DC is getting pumped for his fight.
He's like, come on.
You own this guy.
You're going to kick his ass.
Kick his ass, DC.
He's like stomping back and forth, getting himself pumped up.
I don't know.
He's very endearing.
He seems just like a nice guy.
He's a good guy. No one in the world thinks he's on steroids he has a family that he
loves uh he always has weight challenges which is in itself like somewhat endearing he he has a
weakness for popeye's chicken he was fighting a guy named dan henderson once and during the weight
cut dan henderson had popeyes delivered to delivered to his door to make him suffer that much more as he was trying to get down to weight.
It was funny.
And DC didn't like it.
It was genuinely hard.
Like the smell of Popeyes was just his cocaine.
It was funny.
But he does have like the body of a UFC fighter whose vice is food.
Yes, he does. And he still wins somehow. He's very talented. He's had a lot of a UFC fighter whose vice is food. Yes, he does.
And he still wins somehow.
He's very talented.
He's had a lot of loss in his life.
I think he's gotten fourth at the Olympics, I think.
Maybe even twice.
Out of the medals, just there.
Oh, that sucks.
Yeah.
And he just struggles.
Not everything has come easily to him. but right now he's the champ champ.
He won 205 and heavyweight, and he did it.
He did it.
He's had a fairytale ending thus far.
Yeah, for sure.
He's a real likable guy.
Everyone who knows him loves him.
I like the clip I thought Kyle was going to mention where he got Luke Rockhold to say he loved him.
Do you know that one?
No, I don't know that.
I was thinking about the clip of when he found out, I think, that Jon Jones couldn't fight him that time or whoever it was.
And Dana's telling him.
And he's like, can I still fight him anyway?
Even though he's on the steroids, can I just still fight him?
Yeah.
I like that story.
Yeah.
So he trains with Luke Rockhold.
They're tight
and at the end of the call he's like i love you luke and luke's like i love you too dc
like begrudgingly but it's on air they're all excited everyone cheers because he got him to say
it it's really fun he's he's just one of the good guys but i don't know i still like i still like
like the private conversation between him and john jones better they get done with the interview at
sports center but they're still mic'd up and in different locations and john jones goes
you still there pussy yeah i'm still here they just hate each other they hate each other. They hate each other. And what's bad, one thing that I like about DC is other people didn't, right?
Jon Jones is clearly the heel.
He's obviously the bad guy.
He's the one that says, are you still there, pussy?
And DC's like, yeah, I'm still here.
And at one point he's like, DC, I would literally kill you if you tried that.
I was like, Jon, you think I'm just going to stand there and let you kill me?
kill you if you try that.
John, you think I'm just going to stand there and let you kill me?
Even his comebacks are innocent and
nice or bad, like Kyle's saying,
but he wasn't like, kill me. I'd kill
you, motherfucker. I'd kill you worse than you'd kill me.
I'd slit your throat. I'd rip your ear off. I'd bite you
like Mike Tyson. He doesn't say that.
He says, I'm not just going to let you kill me.
That's hard to do.
Even that seems sweet
as a reply to someone who just threatened
to kill you that that's who dc is he's a good guy and people didn't like the video
oh yes about the cake yeah yeah it's dc dancing taylor it's dc dancing uh with all this food
raining from the sky and he's just eating like k just eating KFC and I'm all about that cake.
It's about that cake.
And he's just eating cake and cupcakes and all this junk food
while shirtless and touching himself.
It's funny.
Yeah, he's rubbing his own belly.
I'm so glad he made that video.
Shirtless and touching himself.
Yeah.
He's just one of the good guys in the sport.
The sport will be a little poorer when he's retired,
but it is what it is the connor will
come back maybe yeah that'll be the next super bowl that that's that one will be so much bigger
than than anything that dc can ever do like whenever connor comes back that's going to be
gigantic i think you're right there is a part of me that's... Okay, so personally,
and I think there's a lot of people in the same spot.
I'm over Connor, right?
I'm over it.
I get it.
It's the same fucking six lines.
I'm rich.
Who are you?
Fuck you, right?
That's Connor's thing.
I'm over it.
I don't give a fuck about it, et cetera.
But when he comes back,
I'm not above getting sucked right back in. I'm over it
for now. I'll be in it.
There's a real good chance that
I'll be eating up his shtick.
Absolutely.
I will pay for it. I will go to it
if I'm capable. I will be so excited
to watch Conor fight Habib.
That's going to be really fun.
Really fun.
That would be pretty cool.
We'll call it a wrap?
Oh, I'm sorry?
Yeah.
I was going to say, I guess they'll do it in Vegas.
It wouldn't make sense to do it anywhere else.
They're not doing Ireland or Russia.
I agree.
I think it will be in Vegas.
The other chance is Madison Square Garden.
Ah, yeah.
But not after what Connor got in trouble there, right?
That seems like...
I forgot about that
that might be
that might be an issue
yeah that's a good point
so
alright PKN 203
yeah