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All right, PKN episode 219.
I think we're all excited to talk about the contest.
Oh, by the way, I haven't seen the replies, but I asked for a name.
I don't like No Fucks November.
Well, one, I don't want to have, like, fuck as a topic title for the next five weeks.
So that's a thing.
Two, No Fucks is kind of the opposite of what it is to me.
Like, yeah, if we were an eating contest,
maybe No Fucks November would work for me.
Like, No Fucks November is,
it doesn't register.
What do you guys think?
I plan on amping my fucking a little bit
to get a few more meps out of it.
That's good thinking, Taylor.
Oh, Taylor's giving away his strategies.
Exactly.
I'm giving away my strategies too, I think,
because I have nothing that's not obvious.
I don't know what Chiz is going to do,
but we'll see.
It's funny when I'll make jokes about it
and Chiz also being jokey in our chats
will be like,
ah, you're the only one who's jumping
to thinking about cheating.
Like when I said today,
I've got an ace in the hole, guys.
You won't believe my ace in the hole.
And it was just a joke about how
I'm inviting rufus to
live with me for a month so i'll be constantly horrified see you didn't get chiz's joke see
see that was it was him saying that you're the only one jumping the cheating was a joke
oh then i i read those very quickly during the day because i don't have a lot of time to
to scope out the full context yeah he, he was making fun of Woody.
Oh, okay.
That's silly.
I hope nobody cheats.
There's no way to cheat.
I've got ways already.
I don't think there is a way to cheat.
There's only one way to cheat, and it's hiring a ringer.
Yeah, I think you have to physically put it on another human.
Even if you had a big dog
that's retarded on there that's not gonna shave the dog's chest you have to find a way to yeah
you'd have to find a way to keep it on the dog the dog doesn't want that on him that's perfect
it'll raise his heart rate no it would fuck up before the rest of your physical workouts because
if you put it on a dog the app's gonna be like well new uh new top
heart rate is 245 beats a minute and so you got to get to 122 if you want to get that half halfway
it's like do you know how top heart rate is accoladed uh i think they do it just by your
your gender uh weight and height right that's all i've always heard i didn't actually know
gender was a thing but 220 minus your um oh you said weight and height 220 right? That's all I've always heard. I didn't actually know gender was a thing. But 220 minus your...
Oh, you said weight and height. 220 minus
your age is always the rule of thumb.
We're all 160. So what it's done, I think it just
all starts... It starts all of us out at 160.
And if at some
point you set a new
maximum heart rate, it'll go...
This is your new maximum heart rate.
And everything will get recalculated. So
don't fucking max out your heart rate, dummy.
Wait, your max heart rate on there is 160?
Mine's 193 when I entered my stuff in.
This is bullshit if that's a fact.
You're younger than me.
But it's 44 years.
What is this, 100?
I'm looking to see what mine is,
because now you have me curious.
But then again, I can't know mine because
mine's fucked up right now
like I was convinced for like all
today when I was sitting there trying to figure it out
yeah 182 mine's 193
I bet yours is 190
Kyle but I was sitting around trying to
figure mine out today and I was like god
I'm such a retard why can I not figure this out
there's only like three things to be
done and I did all three.
Like I told you, my nickname, I sing to my band.
Did you order from, yours is $190, mine is $22.
Did you order from whatever it is, MyZone or something, directly?
Yeah, I ordered from them directly.
Question number two, did you log in or register when you got your thing?
When I purchased it, it said pre-register.
And I was like, yeah, I'm going to pre-register.
So I did that.
And so then it showed up.
And I was like, oh, cool.
And so I put it on today and ran up and down.
Oh, no, go ahead.
After it showed up, you opened the box and you installed the app on your phone.
And you were given a choice to either log in or register.
Yes, I logged in because I already had my login okay uh that was where i thought you went wrong and you did not okay well they all did different they're gonna help they're all gonna help me out
like it can't be that big of a thing but i i knew i was i felt vindicated when i was texting all you
guys today because i guarantee you're all like, this fucking idiot, user error, can't figure it out.
And then when I finally wore it,
I ran up some stairs and down some stairs
for like five minutes, and I checked my phone,
and it was logging my rate.
I was just holding my phone in my hand as I was running,
and it was like, you're at 116.
Now you're earning two meps a minute or whatever.
Oh, now you're only at 90 whatever.
You're only earning one or whatever the case was and after that i finished hit upload and then nothing showed up in my stat column so
it just didn't upload so that's the problem they're trying to fix and i know it can upload
things there because as i refresh like one in four refreshes will say that i had a killer month
in september 2013 which isn't true because I downloaded this today. So that can't possibly be.
We'll get it figured out.
They already, as soon as I, like I was, I sent them an email and Chiz was like, make
some angry tweets.
That'll get you on the case.
And I'm like, well, maybe not angry, but I'll, I'll tweet at him within like four minutes
of tweeting.
They got to me.
There were tones of frustration in it.
You know what?
I want to back up a second and tell people what we're doing.
So it was inspired
by Joe Rogan's podcast. They did
a thing for the month of October where Joe and three
of his friends tried to
measure who exercises the most
using this MyZone tool.
And at the end of it, they compete. And there's
a belt for the winner and some
maybe punishments for the loser. I don't know.
Oh, yes. There must be punishments.
On ours, there are going to be punishments,
punishments that you don't like.
And some of it's financial.
I think fourth place is something like $500 to lose.
Yeah.
That's your old buddy.
And then we've talked about shaving heads.
I don't know where the punishments are right now,
but heck, the public embarrassment is enough.
This is the chest strap.
I bought a medium because it's all they had in stock.
And it fits me almost all the way out.
It's a little snug.
Yeah, yeah.
I was putting it on.
I'm like, Taylor might be bigger chested than me.
I'm not sure.
I'm actually unusually big chested.
But it fits me anyway.
And I can wear a medium.
You put this thing on, under your shirt, of course, under your boobs,
and it measures your exercise.
If you're at 50 to 59% of your heart rate, 50s, you get a point a minute.
In the 60s, two points a minute.
70s is three.
And then 80 and higher is four points a minute.
So a 15-minute vigorous exercise is about the same as an hour-long easy exercise.
And, fuck.
Kyle, have you tried it yet?
Have you earned any points?
No.
What I did was I wanted to see what my resting heart rate was or see if that would update.
So I literally put it on like sitting in bed watching TV and just made sure it was going to work.
So, no, I haven't exercised yet.
I honestly didn't want to make myself sore at all
before we actually started.
I didn't want to like...
My biggest fear with this thing,
and I don't want to sidetrack your point,
but it's not that I won't have the get up and go.
I know I'm going to be motivated to do this,
but it's muscle soreness.
And so I've done a few things to counteract muscle soreness.
I've scheduled some cryotherapy.
I'm looking forward to doing that.
They're going to freeze me.
I've got some
supplements that are specifically
for lactic acid
reduction and cardiovascular
help. Those BCAAs?
I got a couple of things.
I don't know. I got a bunch of stuff.
I've spent way more than what the punishment is for losing already.
It's hilarious.
I'm going into this like, I don't want to lose $500.
And Kyle sends a text like, just finished my shopping trip, lol.
And it's like $800 worth of shit that he just decides.
He's like, you know what I need for this little contest?
I need a $600 rowing machine.
That's what I need.
And I need supplements.
I don't need bullshit off-brand supplements.
I need name brand, shiny chrome labeled supplements.
Dude, I don't know.
I'm very nervous.
So I put it on.
I did a 15 minute exercise.
I picked the 15 minute exercise because it was the shortest one.
And I'm interested to hear how you guys do.
But in the first thing I did, I sat on an exercise bike and just followed their little intensity program.
For 50% heart rate, I was pretty good, actually.
Like I could read on my phone and stuff and maintain 50% heart rate.
It's not that bad.
60s was a workout, right?
And I'm just like, fuck, like 60s is a lot.
And I think 70s is where I, oh, briefly, briefly.
When it asked for, in 60s, I was like, this is a lot of work.
70s, I was like, well well you fuckers have messed up you should
ask for that first because you can't have it now so when the 70s came you know i stepped it up
and then and i lasted like a minute or two if i recall correctly it'll be in the app
and uh uh and then it was just like i i don't know. I'm fucked. I had this idea that I was going to maintain 90 for like a 15-minute run
and get an hour's worth of whatever.
Intensity of 15 minutes is four times.
And I don't know.
I don't know.
I might be fucked here.
We'll see.
We'll see.
It's going to be hard.
I was a little encouraged that after my workout, my heart rate stayed elevated because I guess I'm out of shape.
But that's more points, right?
I gained like 38 points in my workout and 47 total because it took nine more minutes for my heart rate to go down.
See, that's a positive that we're all going to get.
heart rate to go down see that's what that's that's a positive that we're all gonna get like today when i sprinted up five no seven flights of stairs to test mine like i just held up my hand
and ran up the stairs as fast as i could i got to like the mid 70s and then i i went back sat down
was working on some things and still had it open there and then when i got back down to 50 and then
like the red showed up at like 49 48 i did I was like, I wonder how much I can manipulate this.
And so I just went like,
and flexed as hard as I could.
And it goes, 56.
And I was like, okay, this might be a strategy.
Just look like a maniac all the time.
Why do you have an Iron Man beacon in your chest?
Well, I just need to keep my heart rate above 50% at all times.
So you're in a business meeting.
I understand your concern, but you're not.
After my exercise, I've been playing games.
I play Left 4 Dead.
And I would see the heart rate monitor.
I had it sitting on the table.
And it would drop from 50% to like 48%.
So I was just like, another minute, free minute.
Oh, that's all it took.
Yeah.
Getting to 50% when you're 45 years old is not even that high a pulse, right?
Mine is lower than you guys by a bit.
I wanted to do that.
Let's, let's compare zones.
Cause I don't know if there's any difference between like our zones.
So what you want to do is is uh open your app and then
in the very top left there's a gear so you click your gear and then the second thing down on my
profile is my zones okay ah yes this all right so just let's compare the top rate the 90 to 100
i have to do 172 164 it'll be the same because we're all the max heart rate.
It's all 190.
That's not true.
My max heart rate is 193.
My max heart rate is 182.
It's age-based.
Cool.
Yeah, and I'm not sure if that's an advantage.
God, I should have made myself 12.
No, you're going backwards.
No, 100.
You should have made yourself 100.
It's about 220 minus your age.
That's the guideline. No, fifth, 100. You should have made yourself a hundred and twelve. It's about 220 minus your age. That's the guideline.
So my max heart rate.
I am at a disadvantage.
Well, but there's a reason
that it's higher.
Chiz is at a disadvantage.
Yeah.
No, but his heart rate's
going to spike immediately
because he's not used
to any sort of activity.
Chiz's resting pulse
might be a hundred.
He gets the thing on
like he gets the strap around him.
He's like,
Oh,
we're 80.
I just put it on.
So Kyle, keep going.
You said your 90 was one, what?
170?
My top rate.
So I'm in the red is 172 to 190 beats per minute.
Let's just do lower numbers. So it's less to process red is 172 to 190 beats per minute. Let's just do lower numbers so it's less to process.
172?
My yellow is 146.
Mine's 153.
My yellow is 155.
My green is 128.
Mine's 134.
Mine's 136.
I don't feel like
I'm getting the advantage over Kyle
That I hoped for
What's your blue?
It's 110
115
116
See you guys are practically tied
There are some zones where I'm like
I'm only two less than Kyle
I was really hoping for more of a hand
My gray which is the lowest you can get points in
Is 92
96
Shouldn't have closed out i i just have this
idea that 92 is barely exercising um it really is barely like you know what this contest has been so
far a demotivator a demotivator like my house needs weed whacking right now probably the last
weed whacking of this season and i'm like i'm not gonna waste that shit for no points you think i'm gonna weed whack before november starts that's
ridiculous you're exactly right i was today like i worked out really hard on saturday and then
yesterday i was like gonna work out and i was like you know what no no i'm not working out until
thursday morning when i when i finally do like i'm not burning a bit of effort i'm gonna i'm not working out until thursday morning when i when i finally do it like i'm not burning
a bit of effort i'm gonna i'm gonna go in i don't want to be a little sore like what's your main
concern kyle you said yours is muscle soreness getting worn like yeah you're more afraid of
like week three week four just the hammering on your body no like day two day two and day three
and day four i'm worried about the soreness because like you need to be working out three to five hours a day to to keep up in this thing and so like
oh you don't think so i mean i don't have five hours three i don't have three hours a day
how many hours are you sleeping now because that's just wasted time
11 hours a day no i'll figure out time like I've already slotted
time away to like run in the morning I'm not trying to motivate you at all yeah it is kind
of hopeless you're right what I'm getting at is like like yeah muscle soreness like immediately
right up the bat is the is the is the scary part but but getting to your point about not wanting
to work out yet I set up the rowing machine and i did 12 strokes on it and i was like yep we'll stop right there well it works
it works like nothing you know what's funny about like the rowing machine thing that i'm getting to
kick out of is like like kyle woody's not talking shit about the jogging thing uh chiz is mostly
we're all saying our like skype chat like oh i'm I'm ready to jog. It's going to suck. And Chiz will be like, LOL, jogging.
And it's like, yeah, OK.
How about we get five days in, and we'll
see what you think about jogging?
Because life with a rowing machine
isn't a fucking house of cards where you go down there,
and you're a 55-year-old man doing it for 40 minutes.
No, this is working muscles, Chiz and Kyle,
that you guys have not used in a long time.
It's a lot of compound movements.
You're going to be so fucking
sore day three
because it's going to be DOMS, delayed onset muscle
soreness. It's going to be about three days in.
Day two, you're going to think you're fucking killing it.
I can do this all day, baby.
Day three, you're going to wake up and go,
ah, ah,
my arms, kitty, pour me milk like the only counter argument to
that taylor is i will do that on day two from jogging as well i have jogging that's gonna
happen to me right away which is why i'm doing my workout and then jogging or jogging in the
morning then i have our workout at night i have cryotherapy and on monday i have my massage on
tuesday cryotherapy again on wednesday i've Wednesday. I've got them going back and forth.
I've got the masseuse coming into me.
Don't want to miss any
time. Went ahead and bought a massage table.
Wanted to make sure that was going to work out nicely.
I think we got this down.
So let me ask this.
Are you going to wear it all the time
in hopes for spare meps?
I will. At first I will,
but if I see
that it's worthless,
that, you know, like
maybe I have night terrors that I don't know about, right?
And in my sleep,
what if that was the case?
What if when I slept, I just had
terrible dreams all night, every night,
and you guys were just like, I don't know how to keep up!
He gets a mep an hour when he sleeps!
He gets two meps an hour when he's awake.
Can I pause here?
That's nothing.
I earned 47 meps so far.
And for people, that's not cheating.
It won't count in the competition because it goes by date.
But I earned 47 meps.
I looked at the scores on the Joe Rogan people.
The losers are cracking 8,000 a month.
Joe had 1,000 mep day cracking 8,000 a month. Yeah. Right?
Joe had 1,000 MEP day.
1,000 MEP day.
I had a 47 MEP day.
Yeah, but he's on testosterone replacement therapy.
And those are all stand-up comedians, which means they have absolutely nothing but time.
Well, I can't throw stones there. Yeah, I got a fizzy day ahead of me.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Joe is working out so hard.
One of Joe's workouts workouts he burned 2100 calories
in one workout he worked out so hard that the sweat coming off of him set off the fire alarm
i think i saw the same highlight video did you watch that in a highlight video he was steaming
so hard yeah and he when he drinks water he puts salt in all of us the water he drinks right now. He's like, I ate an entire carrot cake yesterday.
Yes.
He said he might have gained weight during this competition.
It is not a way.
I would love to lose weight during this competition.
I think that'd be nice.
I'll tell you what.
I'm going into this thinking I'm bringing it.
There are some people I saw on the Reddit.
A lot of people are
If I were to
Average the responses
Most people seem to have Chiz at 4th
And most people seem to have me at 3rd
And then you two
Splitting the votes if this were college football
I hope to prove them wrong
I hope to
Surprise
That's how we're all going into it i think
like yeah my my my biggest my only concern really is the amount of time i have to do it because i
know i can work out longer and harder than than probably all three of you like i know just by
by stamina i can do it and you guys are to be jogging a week and a half in.
Mark my words.
I'll be jogging on day one.
That's how I intend to kick off the competition,
Taylor. I was meaning you guys like
Kyle and Chiz, but I was lumping Kyle in with Chiz.
Chiz is saying
no jogging whatsoever.
I don't think he realizes
how much effort a rowing
machine is. you're gonna be
working the exact same muscle groups all day every day like hell no you're gonna get fatigued i think
if you're uh chis's size i haven't seen chis in years so for all i know he looks like kyle or
something but but for the chis's size when i last saw him uh high impact stuff might not be the best
thing to do for a month straight he might want to do some elliptical bikes, some stationary bikes, some rowing
machine. That might make a lot of sense. Even elliptical
would be really good. And even if he goes
outside, just do a brisk walk.
You don't have to do a high impact run.
At the weight you are, Chez, you can do a brisk
walk and do the same thing as me or Kyle
at a jog. That's where my advantage comes in.
Not only do I think I might
outweigh Taylor, but I out-age
him by far
So it seems like a walk
That's a contest I can't compete in
It seems like a walk should get my heart rate
To whatever cheesy goddamn number it takes
To be gray
My phone's not opening for me
92?
92?
A pulse of 92?
It might be that now
It might be
My resting heart rate's about 60 65 a pulse of 92? It might be that now. It might be.
My resting heart rate's about 60, 65.
Oh, you say you hope not.
I hope it is.
I'll deal with pre-hypertension if it wins me this contest.
Alright, I don't know
how to turn this thing
on.
That was the thing with mine today.
It wouldn't turn on and then randomly
just go beep!
After ten minutes of wearing it. I don't know what was up
with it.
I'm looking forward to this thing. This is going to be
very fun.
I don't know
if we settled on
any other punishments,
but Chiz is
really wanting the loser to have their head shaved.
I mean,
I would agree to that if this was
my only job. But I can't
walk around like a neo-Nazi.
The shit you guys
tried to pull in the last PKA,
where I had to drink a pint of whatever
Grand Gala, and you
agreed to wear a t-shirt,
that is not happening.
We can't go that way.
That, to me, felt like...
I don't know how to turn this thing on.
I didn't like the way that was going down.
Yeah, pint's not so bad.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
For you.
No, to me, that is like...
Oh, my God.
It makes you stupid and fat.
That's alcohol to me.
You're not wrong. Well, you're going to be burning a ton of calories, so don makes you stupid and fat. That's alcohol to me. You're not wrong.
Well, you're going to be burning a ton of calories,
so don't worry about getting fat.
Do you know where the on button is on this thing?
There is no on button.
That's what I was having trouble with,
is you just have to place it there,
and then you look at the workout screen,
and then it's supposed to just pick you up
when it senses a heartbeat.
The instructions say there's an on button.
Okay, all right.
So I'm going to have to hold it in place hopefully that's accurate yeah i i just uh i put mine on i turned
the bluetooth tooth on my phone and i turned on the wi-fi and the thing beeped and it started
registering my heart rate and i was good to go i swear to god if if I lose exercises because I got a bullshit machine, I'm not paying into it.
Kyle, what percentage are you at right now?
I'm not wearing it.
I am toggling between 46% and 48%.
I am a butt jiggle in this thing from hitting some meps, baby.
49?
When you're old enough.
50.
There it is, bitch.
I'm getting points as we speak.
All it takes is...
That's all you're going to be doing, PK.
Hey, welcome to PK.
Yay.
Episode 410.
I hit 53%.
I can maintain this forever.
I am sleeping in this thing.
If you see it hit 60, it's because I got laid.
55 right now.
What if you won just with a total slow and steady wins the race approach?
You didn't work out once.
You just, every time, you like, every time it goes down, you like light a match and hold it under your hand.
My pulse is 98.
Welcome to PKA 415,
the Parkinson's disease edition.
Yeah, 52.
That doesn't take a lot.
I believe if I was outside... Wait, let's hand raise this.
I think if I was
outside walking... Also called the angels in the outfield.
And by the way, I'm at
102, right? 100?
Yeah, I can definitely...
I think I can get a lot of cheeseball points this way.
Oh, enjoy.
I think we're all right there.
I mean, I was sitting in bed, and I was like – I'm not going to be able to get the cheeseball points.
That's going to fuck me.
Yes, it will.
Well, why can't you wear it at work?
I'm not going to have 20 minutes in the middle of the day to be like, oh, I'll just clap loudly in a room.
Well, why can't you work? I'm sorry. Why can't you wear it at work? I'm not going to have 20 minutes in the middle of the day to be like, oh, I'll just clap loudly in a room. Well, why can't you work?
I'm sorry.
Why can't you wear it at work, I meant to say?
Oh, I mean, I could wear it wherever I had to go.
I just wouldn't be able to do anything strenuous in it.
I guess I could skip to meetings and things.
See, yeah.
I mean, it's only a little cheese ball if you're actually on your feet doing stuff all the time.
Because then you're getting credit for the stuff you deserve.
That's true.
I haven't found that I can get cheese.
I played Left 4 Dead, beat like every map.
So, I played for a while.
Zero maps.
So, you have to actually be active.
Yeah.
What is that, Kyle?
You thought you might get maps playing Left 4 Dead somehow?
Dude, if I was a little more out of shape, right?
Because apparently my resting heart rate is like 45.
If my resting heart rate was just a little higher,
not 45%, I mean to say.
Oh, 45%.
Yeah, and that's not resting, resting.
Resting is like when you wake up.
But I'm at like 45% or 43% playing a game.
If I was just a little more out of shape, then I could be at 50% playing a game.
A little more out of shape and you'd have croaked by now.
You might want to get this checked out.
Forget the contest.
We may have just stumbled onto some serious health issues.
It's not news.
If you're just walking around at like 50% heart rate.
50% of my... I need to look at the actual numbers, but I think it was like 82, which is high, I guess, compared to someone who's really fit.
But walking around in 82 pulse is not crazy to me.
It's usually like 70 if I sit down and just take a breath.
But when I was an athlete, I don't know even how relevant this is to now,
my pulse was super high, like 240,
pulses that you can't get.
I actually failed a physical as a lifeguard once,
and they had to come put an EKG on me and get me approved because of my high pulse.
If that's still true,
if I still have a hyperactive, fluttering little heart,
that could work for me in November.
This could benefit you greatly.
No, you could accidentally set a new maximum
and then all of your goals
fucking shift.
Now, is this confirmed
that you can set a new maximum? Oh, yeah.
Oh, really?
Well, I might be
fucked. I don't think I'm going to get to 200.
Yeah, don't go above 80.
There's no point.
But I'm not going to be carrying this around with me
while I'm working out.
I'm going to work out as hard as I can
and then come back and check it.
According to Rogan,
the kind of workouts you do,
like lifting,
that you do currently,
aren't worth that much.
It's gray and blue,
which for people listening is 50% and 60%.
He had to do vigorous kind of, know like i don't know flapping around and
stuff with the weights to get above those numbers yeah i've already like started making edits to my
workout plan to make it a lot more like i guess cardiovascular so instead of doing as many like
heavy weight pressing and stuff like i'll do more like kettlebell swings or more like full range of
motion like clean and press and like super sets where i'll run straight from one exercise to another
and i feel like i can blow out a lot of these maps if i just commit to running like 30 minutes
in the morning and then change my current 90 minute workout to like a two hour workout with
a much higher focus on like super sets and exhausting myself but we'll see i'll probably
have to make changes along the way.
Like I'm going to get exhausted.
I want to see your strategy.
I wonder how that works.
So sometimes I do one-footed trampoline jumps.
It comes out of physical therapy for my broken leg.
Oh, that sounds like fun.
Yeah.
I think I'm just going to take that more seriously between sets
as a way to keep the heart pumping the whole time.
I don't have anything fun. I don't have a whole time. I don't have anything fun.
I don't have a trampoline.
I don't have a rowing machine.
It actually gets pretty grueling.
Chiz linked the rowing machine that he purchased,
and it's like a $1,200 machine.
And he's like, it's the one they have at gyms.
And I was like, yeah, I've got a jump rope.
It's the kind they have at gyms.
$8.
Do you like your jump rope?
Oh, I hate jump roping, but it really gets my heart going.
I bought a jump rope and hated it.
And I'm just wondering if you found a good one.
Oh, no.
I just literally went on Amazon, typed in jump rope, and picked the highest rated one.
Mine's got the weighted handles.
I'll tell you what I don't like about jump roping.
I start going fast, and I get really confident with my jump roping.
And I start, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. about jump roping i i start going fast and i get really confident with my jump roping and i start and then it'll like hit my heel or something and it whips the back of my legs so goddamn hard that
i'm just like ah i've been that heart rate up yeah oh my god it hurts so fucking much like like
it happens every time i jump rope like i'll hit the i think i hit the ground
with it like like too much of it hits the ground instead of working out we're just like
boom boom boom boom boom boom boom just that game with your fingers man this is gonna be fun like
it's gonna be not fun at all if five days in i'm like well i am deep in a hole because i don't have
12 hours a day but i don't have to like figure day. And I'll have to figure something else out.
I may have to just turn all my weekends into just strenuous shit.
But that won't even work long term because I'll need a day for a break.
Oh, that's what I'm curious about.
What is your guys' plan for recovery in the midst of it?
Because you're going to have to or you're going to sabotage yourself in the last week.
No, I don't plan to.
I'm hoping that massages and my roller and this lactic acid stuff I bought and the cryotherapy and potentially ice baths are going to help me, are going to get me through that.
I plan to row as much and as often as I can.
And if I get to the point where like my lower back, I think my lower back is what will hurt at some point when that happens, I'll, you know, I'll start hitting the heavy bag and, and I'll,
I'll do like, you know, three minute rounds and like rest for a minute and then three minutes
again and do that as much as I can. And then I'll definitely jog. Like, you know, I bought some
running shoes and stuff. And I live in a neighborhood where I've got sidewalks everywhere
and nobody's out and about. So like, you know, I can run around and jog and, and, uh, and run,
you know, like, like, like I think jogging sounds around jog and and uh and run you know like like i think
jogging sounds a little casual but i'm certainly going to like run at parts of it and then slow
down to a jog this might be my advantage i'm pretty sure i can hit 60 or 70 heart rate jogging
i don't i don't need to run i don. Jogging is plenty to get my heart going.
Fuck.
I think my quads are going to be my weak spot.
That's what I'm most worried about.
Kyle mentioned lower back.
In my head, the things I need to do to get my heart rate higher,
this is a game about heart rate, is lower body stuff,
like running, some hockey, whatever.
I can't do bicep curls to raise my heart rate
by much right they're going to be a weak contributor to the game so uh when my legs
get so sore that they're hard to use i don't know i don't have a great plan i really don't i don't
want to switch to like all cardio because i like lifting weights and i like staying on like my
actual regimen lose your gains if you do all cardio.
Yeah, for looking better.
Here's one.
If Taylor's fourth, he shaves the beard.
That's a good one.
I'll agree to shave the beard also.
I'll have to think of some good ones.
And a Hillary t-shirt.
Between now and Thursday, let's all think of a couple good ones and write it down.
We can bring those to the show.
Base paint might be fun for an entire PKA.
Not too dark.
You know, something light.
Like blackface.
Let's not go Megyn Kelly on this.
Yeah, you know, green, blue.
No, no, blue's a little too dark.
You know, pink.
Why is blue dark?
Blue's too close to black.
Okay.
I didn't see where you were going. Um, you know, why is pink blue dark? Blue is too close to black. Okay. Okay.
I didn't see where you were going.
Have you guys even thought about like daily goals,
like average goals for maps or are you kind of taking that,
like playing it by ear?
Playing it by ear.
Like the ones that I saw from Joe Rogan,
it's like,
I'm not comparing myself to Joe Rogan because he has all day,
every day in a gym and a lot of hormones to help.
But those three comedians, like they all had pretty high scores. Like how much are all day every day in a gym and a lot of hormones to help but those three comedians like they all had pretty high scores like how much are they doing every day i think
i don't even know if i want to show i think 300 a day is what it's going to take to be competitive
and i've already proven i can get 47 in a single day so that's what i have written down 300 like
for for like a goal but we'll see uh i'm hoping that
like day one it's like all right 550 but but i doubt it's gonna be like that like what 180 oh
i'm a little worried because i i basically the the there's a program you choose where it puts
your heart rate in different zones for different times.
And I took the one that was called the fitness test.
And yeah, a little humbling, I think, the fitness test.
I did finish it, but I didn't like pass it, so to say.
I don't think I'm going to do the actual test.
I think I'm just going to start off trying like the workouts that I organize and then kind of gauging the graph afterward and seeing if it's worth it.
I would just learn in the app.
That was sort of my point.
First of all, I want to know how to turn it on.
I couldn't find an on switch.
It tells you to turn it on in the instructions,
but Kyle seems to be right where it just registers.
I wanted to turn it on.
I wanted to see it connect,
and I wanted to see what connect and i wanted to see
what effort like what these different zones felt like that's where we are what uh i mounted my tv
on a swing arm in front of the rowing machine nice figured you know watch some tv while they
row at a at a reasonable uh rate and you know i could go for a long time that way, I feel like.
What's your estimate for how long you can just continuously row?
I don't know what the resistance is at.
I'm just curious.
So it's a water rower.
So you fill it up to its maximum level of water, and then that's that.
And then the faster you go, the harder it is.
If you try to get a stroke as fast if you try to if you try to stroke
as soon as you know you get to the end that's a more difficult stroke than if you had waited like
one beat or two beats you know and every second you wait it seems like it's a little easier
um i don't know like i was worried right away that it was too easy like like i was i was knocking
them out and i was like
i don't feel like i'm doing anything this is and i went to the kitchen and i got like a gallon of
water and i i filled it up like a you know an inch above maximum or whatever and i was like
but but then i realized that if i really grab it like right away it's it's a much more strenuous
workout so i i think i could row for i could totally row for half an hour okay i could totally
row for half an hour straight and then rest.
I don't know. We're going to see.
Taylor, how long can you run?
Probably half an hour at a jog pace, very slowly.
Not run, like a casual, slow jog.
I'm going to go see.
My number was 15 minutes. I don't even know.
Yeah, if I'm doing a real jog, probably not much more than 15 minutes.
That's something I'm really hoping for,
is that my cardio will be so bad that 30 minutes of jogging
will give me a big boost in the morning,
whereas if I were a fit runner, that might fuck me.
Yes, that's right.
On the other hand, Ari, one of the guys in the thing,
had a huge day.
I don't know.
It might have been 1,500 points or something.
People are cursing him.
And Joe's like, but he ran 13 miles.
And I was like, oh.
Well, that's just not a tool I keep in the toolbox.
Yeah, not even close.
13 miles is a fucking haul.
It's a half marathon.
If I run three miles in a day,
I'll be like, hell yeah.
If I run three miles in a day, that will mean I have improved
my conditioning in November.
Yeah.
I expect to lose 15 or 20 pounds this month.
I don't see how I can get around it.
I went ahead and bought
most of the food for the month.
I mostly bought
lean meat and green vegetables
and um and not a lot of carbs i'm gonna try to go kind of low carb i don't i don't think that's a
good a good idea with uh cardio maybe it's not but you know if i if i start getting the shakes
or something you know i'll eat a piece of candy or whatever the fuck you know just go for it for
the first week and you can always change it around yeah that's that's what I figure. And I've been eating one cooked meal of steak or salmon at night,
and then for breakfast I've been making a milkshake
with a banana and two shots of espresso and cocoa powder,
which has no sugar in it, it's just cocoa powder.
And I got this PB Fit stuff, which is like powdered peanut butter. Yeah, I've had that. It's just cocoa powder. And I got this PB Fit stuff, which is like powdered peanut butter.
Oh, yeah, I've had that.
It's delicious.
I add no sugar to this thing other than what's in a banana.
And I'm like, this is like candy.
This is like a milkshake.
It's delicious.
Yeah, and it's a lot of calories.
And a lot of good calories.
Yeah.
Like, it's not trash.
Yeah, for sure.
You're really taking it seriously.
Oh, and I got these things.
Dude.
What?
I'm taking it seriously, too.
I'm not talking trash heading into this, but I'm not in it to lose it.
I agree.
Yeah, I don't want to talk trash because I probably won't win.
You're the favorite.
I'm playing for keeps.
Yeah, but they wildly underestimate the time allowance between me and Kyle, for example.
Like, Kyle at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday can decide, oh, I want to bust out another 30 minutes.
I just did one an hour ago, but I can do that.
At 2 a.m.
I fully plan to have the Leonardo da Vinci sleep schedule that Kramer had from that episode.
Remember, he fell asleep on the hooker, and they dumped him in lake in the river or whatever like he's sleeping like 20 minutes every three hours
something like that like some sort of like like i'll totally wake up some nights at like 3 a.m
and normally i would get up and like see if anybody's playing a video game or something
and like hop in a discord chat and talk to people for an hour or two and then go watch some netflix
shit i'll hop on the rowing machine or i'll hit the heavy bag or i'll go for a little i i don't i don't like run i won't run during the day so i
plan to do any running that i do at night because it's gonna be cold i like running when it's cold
me too so like like that's gonna be not i got like some running pants that are sort of like
not like windbreaker material but almost like soft cushy stuff. Got some running shoes. This is something I saw Rogan pushing.
I know he's on that keto
thing. These are called F-bombs.
What's the fruit?
F-bomb?
Like fuck. It's a fat bomb.
It's like
nut butter.
It's just a ton of fat.
It's just a ton of fat.
And you just empty that into your mouth?
Yeah.
Joe said he was eating sugar.
I think you saw the same highlight video I did.
But what did he say?
He needed a soda?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he was drinking maybe cream soda or something.
He just says, this is what my body craved.
I needed just sugar to keep going.
I'm like...
If only that were a way I could organize my life.
Well, my body's craving for pizza and beer again.
It knows that it wants DiGiorno stuffed crust.
It knows.
It knows that.
I'm not going to deprive my body.
Yeah.
I hear you.
I don't know.
I can't wait to see what's going to happen.
I hope no one falls pitifully behind right no i want it to be
a good competition i want someone to fall kyle's gonna fall or pull way into the lead in the
beginning is my prediction okay and then that lead will narrow between whoever's in second place and
kyle as the month goes on i think if i if i do get out to a lead i will be terrified of losing
that lead and i feel like that'll
motivate me more. I feel like no matter what, I'm very
motivated for this thing. I really want to win.
I want the belt. I honestly
want the belt.
I want to
fucking have that thing over my
shoulder. I want
that fucking belt.
And of course I want the
humiliation factor. i want someone to do
terribly so that we could point and laugh at them like it's third fucking grade i i'm looking
forward to it and i want to see punishments what i want humiliation what happened so in the joe
rogan one no one wants to lose to burt for some reason they're not even trying to beat joe they're
trying to not lose to burt. They can't let that happen.
And I think his name is,
is his name Burt?
Do I have it right?
Yeah, like Burt Chrysler or something.
Funny guy.
I like him.
But he's the least athletic.
He's a heavy guy.
He carries 60 pounds of body fat, maybe.
I don't know.
I'm guessing.
And no one just wants to be the guy
that lost to him. I mean, I don't know. I'm guessing. And no one just wants to be the guy that lost to him.
I don't want to lose to Chiz.
That's where I am. I feel like if this thing comes down,
it doesn't matter if it goes
Kyle Taylor, Chiz Woody or
Taylor Kyle, Chiz Woody. I don't know if I said
the same thing twice. But if it goes down
like that,
that will be that will they will
hurt my feelings on social media they'll do it they'll do it badly they will be ruthless if it
comes tell you chiz is motivated all right he has strategies he's not sharing right chiz chiz and i
like text each other privately we have a little late night uh discord discussions just the two of us jizz
is fucking motivated he's coming for this shit he fully expects to win this thing first okay
jizz thinks he's getting first just think he's gonna win talk is cheap yes that's why i'm not
talking it's really really easy to be like i'm gonna stick to something for a whole month and
i'm gonna do this and that talk to me nine in. Chiz has been wanting this for years. He has been
asking for years for someone to
put money on the line
and have a fitness competition of some
kind because he knows that'll
spur him to
not quit and to push
through barriers and to get shit done.
I'm worried about Chiz.
I'm worried about the numbers that
he may put out there
because he's
he's motivated
you're worried about him as a competitor
you're not worried for his safety
I misinterpreted it first
he's like I'm worried about Chiz
I think he might fall flat dead
if Chiz blows an ACL 40 minutes into day one
the rest of us will just be like
well I guess all those big plans
we just enjoy the month he'll get one of those minutes into day one the rest of us will just be like well i guess all those big plans you just
enjoy the month you know he'll get one of those like like cycles that paralyzed people use bader
ginsburg with your hand seeing that the fuck what is the thing she wears around her neck what's the
it's a weird term oh like like a cowl or something yeah i don't know what it is maybe i forget there's
a term for it but anyway yeah that'd be funny to see him wear that.
What have you guys bought leading up to it?
Like, I know, Kyle, you got the rowing machine, but, like, supplements.
Like, what did you get, and what was your rationale for it?
Yeah, let me, so I got a bag of protein powder,
because I'd like to, I feel like, you know,
the good protein powder has all sorts of chemicals and vitamins
and amino acids that I'm going to need. I got some some krill oil i got a daily multivitamin i got i got a whole bunch of
sublingual b12 um i'm looking i'm now i'm going to amazon that's just the stuff i bought when i
was out i got i don't really want to say this i i got a product that's supposed to reduce lactic
acid and um i i got that uh i got some some a compression shirt. I got some running pants. I got some athletic
underwear. I got these F-bombs. I got another product that's supposed to help with cardiovascular
health. It's a powder you mix with a drink. I got the rowing machine. I got running shoes.
I don't wear shoes normally. I wear my flippy floppies, so I had to get a bunch
of socks, too. I was all out of socks.
And I got the massage table.
And, um...
Let's see...
Got a whole bunch of goodies.
Back pain powder,
because I expect to be in a lot of pain.
I got...
I got those Thermacare
heat wrap things that go on your lower back
I got a couple packs of those
I expect to be in a lot of pain
at least you're going in realistically
I got 16 of the Gatorade
low sugar Gatorade
things
I got a whole bunch of Fiji water
I went shopping
and got like I said
a bunch of
four steaks in the fridge
waiting. I had salmon tonight.
I got a shitload of asparagus and Brussels sprouts.
This is
going to be the difference maker. We've never
seen a Kyle Myers who consumes
vegetables before.
You've seen him on vegetables. Now you'll see him on steak
but backwards.
You're going to be
Popeye coming out there where you're gonna be like salad you're gonna
be popeye coming out there where you're like guys i don't know what it is i just i feel refreshed
like i feel like i have energy i've never had poops as good that'll be the funniest outcome
the funniest timeline is if in like like in the end of four weeks, you just continue with this lifestyle. Right. You actually feel good.
I'd be like, let's do vegan December, guys.
No.
Yeah, if this works, we can duplicate this.
Taylor, what about you?
What have you bought?
I haven't bought a thing in preparation for it other than the MEP machine.
Well, that tells me that you have some of the things you need then.
I'm in the same.
Kyle mentioned all about different proteins and stuff he's bought. I think i have a lot of that in stock i did buy one thing uh actually about 14
things i got suited up for ice hockey again and nice in hindsight it feels kind of like a dumb
way to gather meps um i i thought that i would do it it was like i want something that's motivating
right if you ask me to work out this year,
workouts kind of fall off, come on, et cetera.
If you ask me to like join a team,
I am Johnny reliable on that sort of thing.
I don't let the team down.
And that was the thought process, you know,
like I'm going to play some hockey,
working out is work, playing is fun.
Yeah, I mean, it's not like,
with something like playing hockey you shouldn't even
be thinking about like the how many meps am i gonna get it's like well no i'm whatever i get
is free i'm just actually enjoying this you know in that way they are free yeah but i think that
if i play like stick and puck or something for an hour and you jog for 20 minutes you might beat me. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, I mean,
I'm not looking forward to jogging.
It's going to suck.
I'm going to have to do it. If there were a men's
dodgeball league, I
feel like that would be super
for this. Going an entire
afternoon, three, four hours,
play 20 games of dodgeball with a bunch of
guys my age that would
be a fucking question oh yeah yeah for sure i know i'm actually suggesting it as a serious thing
is there paintball driving distance from you that you might enjoy uh i would probably play airsoft
instead now that you mentioned i may actually do that because like there's an indoor airsoft place
i want to say in um oh what's it called it doesn't matter east atlanta
near that area and i've played there before and i actually it's kind of last time i went there
last year and like everybody recognized me i guess that's my like demographic right and it was it was
it was i ended up signing shit for 15 minutes you know i just wanted to chill out and sit there and
like load my i didn't know what i was doing i I've never, like, I just want to like, like chill and, and like, like people would talk,
coming up and talking to me a lot and shaking my hand and stuff. I didn't, I didn't need that. I
don't want that necessarily. I just wanted to have a chill day. Um, but once we were playing,
God damn, it was a workout. You're running a lot and you know, just, just holding a gun up
in a ready position for that long is, is just strenuous and straining.
Did you feel pressure to be really good?
To be a superhero or something?
Sorry about that.
It's dark in there.
Nobody knows who's...
It's one of those things where you get shot, you run back and touch the wall, and you come right back in.
Okay.
It's indoors with CQB.
So lots of plywood interior structures that are created.
And nobody knows.
I could have never gotten shot and hit 100 people and nobody would have known.
Or vice versa, nobody would have known.
I mentioned I played Left 4 Dead last night, the night before.
And I got recognized in the lobby.
Because I'm not famous
actually but amongst people that play video games i'm pretty well known and uh i was like ah they're
gonna expect me to be good this is just my get my shot back game but you play cod just play the new
cod is great man like like like i am not i'm not a pro cod guy by any means like like the last like
five cods or something i've shit on them heavily.
And I didn't even buy the last two or three or something like that.
Infinite Warfare was such fucking garbage.
Ghost may have been the one that really turned me against the whole series.
But this is a great Call of Duty.
This is a truly great Call of Duty.
The multiplayer, I've played, I don't know, three hours of it, let's say.
Really good.
Even when I'm getting my ass pushed in. In the Battle Royale
you probably have more time still. The Battle Royale
is what we play. I love the
Battle Royale. Love the zombies.
I thought of jumping in your zombies and I was like
I'm going to be
WASD proficient, right? I need to be able to
strafe backwards diagonally
and jump without thinking
about it. I think I'm there.
Yeah, I mean, Chiz would probably like that.
Chiz is going for all of the challenges. He's trying
to get every single possible achievement
there is for zombies.
Part of it, I don't know if he's gotten it yet, but he
had to revive a thousand people or something
like that. He'd love to play with someone
who doesn't know what they're doing. I know
you know how to play zombies, but we've played 30 hours on like the same
map so like we know how to play zombies like on this map we know all the special weapons and how
to do all the easter eggs and shit it's uh we don't we don't lose at zombies like we just quit
you know we get to level 40 or 45 and it's like, I'm done. I'm done, guys.
Let's just quit.
I used to do that on that one map.
Taylor, you knew the name with the cowboy that you got
angry and the witches.
I wasn't a cowboy.
I was trying to be nice.
One of the Wild West ones.
That's the least politically correct thing
I've ever seen in a video game.
It's a big, retarded guy that you have to trick into knocking walls down for you.
Kyle, he was white.
Nobody complained.
That's true.
What if he's in black?
Imagine if he's in black.
That would not have passed muster.
They would have been like, in the new zombies game, you must goad a retarded black man into doing your will with booze and candies.
You know what would have ruined it?
If they had made him a child.
If they had made him a retarded child
that you tricked into running into the walls.
Even if maybe it's a hole
they have to crawl through or something.
That would have hurt my feelings.
I wouldn't have liked that.
It was good.
But yeah, new Call of Duty is amazing.
I would recommend hopping into that thing, man.
The blackout is just so much fun. I hope you guys play a ton over the course of Duty is amazing. I would recommend hopping into that thing, man. The blackout is just so much fun.
I hope you guys play a ton over the course of the next month.
I hope you really enjoy it.
I'm really going to have to cut back on it.
You need one of those pedal machines.
Right? I considered that.
I just need the resisting bass and two pedals right here.
Truth is, that would ruin your game.
You know what? There's a lot of games, though, where you don't have to be good.
Like, I think I'd be good.
So I'm playing Left 4 Dead.
If people don't know Left 4 Dead, you occasionally walk from place to place.
But there is a lot of dealing with a lot of activity at once.
Like an old-school COD multiplayer level.
This shit exists.
You're just busy.
Yeah.
They make little pedals for under your desk.
It exists. You getting it exists you're getting it
i'm getting it kyle is gonna get a mep a minute all month long oh i'll pka the whole time like
i'll be here for four hours pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal pedal bitch oh the show quality is
gonna be terrible over the next four weeks.
Just all of us trying to sneak in workouts.
So I'm just like,
another impression I like to do.
This one here for
1939.
Oh, here's something that
Kyle, you were saying today,
you sent us a picture of your meal
and it was very tasty
looking salmon, some asparagus, a very healthy meal. And I said, Oh, I'm, I'm making some,
some marinated chicken with some asparagus as well. And you know, as chance would have it and
some brown rice and Chiz was like, look at you two guys, extra credit, you know, going above and
beyond. And it's like, like that, that's kind of what you should be doing right now. Right? Like
you want to be prepping your body for the beginning
of this challenge. I even told him,
if you think that Halloween night, you're like,
alright, last hurrah,
extra large pizza, you're going to wake up
the next morning and feel like shit.
I like the idea that she's
going to do tons of exercise
and cake shakes
for fuel.
I think that's what I shot back at him you know something
about cake shakes it's like yeah man i i i want my body like already like full of vitamins and
fucking minerals and shit so that maybe it recovers just three percent better than it was going to
before like like we're talking about going for 30 fucking days and and i know that like people
you know if you're listening to this in your fucking high school and you run track you're like yeah dude i run three miles every day yeah you're 18
years old and you've been doing it your entire life that's not us like this is this is this is
a crash course that we're going into and i want every tiny little bit of an edge that i can get
yeah and that's not even an edge that's just a smart decision like it's not going to give you a
three percent edge for you to eat salmon and asparagus and brown rice the night before a
workout as opposed to stuffed crust pizza like that's a 100 edge really like you'll wake up
with energy and feeling good instead of feeling sluggish and just full of compacted pizza shit
and my diet's not that bad though i feel like like I'm almost wishing that I lived on cake shakes and pizza,
and I have this big leap that I can take
simply by eating George Foreman and vegetables every day,
George Foreman chicken.
But that is what I eat every day.
I'm already at lean meats and vegetables.
I should get a Thighmaster.
I bought that exercise pack already.
It's on its way.
I move around enough just on my own.
I wonder if I were to wear it right now.
I move my legs around a ton underneath this counter.
Maybe I'll be at 50%.
You know why I think you might not be?
Probably not.
Because you're a baby.
If you were 50, 50% would be lower, right?
You have to hit 100 beats per minute minute or something you're probably not there what if i like can you fool your body if i just like
hyperventilate myself like yes yes you can for a little make it for a little that's it that's my
next whole month that's just a whole month of lightheadedness and dead brain cells i wasn't
sure if the thing was working
when i was in bed and i was just like that's what i did to like make my heart rate rate like spike i
was at like 65 and i like bumped it up to 73 by going and you know that was enough does this thing
need to charge did you guys know once you've charged that thing it's good for this entire
competition it said it was good for six months but i'm like yeah okay six months of what working out an hour a day three times a week like a normal
human what if you want to live in it what if you wear it all the time well it goes it's also
waterproof you know i don't know about you waterproof yeah it is 10 meters uh i don't know
if you you know about you but when I get into cold water, I go into
about 80% of hyperventilation
immediately.
Maybe it's October.
I bet the pool's cold out there.
There's going to be a whole month of
cold showers.
Glumly strapping your
fitness band to your chest as you call
in there at 5.40 a.m.
Not a gym. whatever you call a pool
join a club and uh get access for november because i could just put in garbage yardage
and swim that would be that'd be something i might like yeah yeah and you could do that for
five hours at a time if you felt like it like you could keep going swimming a lot of garbage yardage
i don't know if i could do that okay yeah two out yeah yeah but uh but yeah i could get some i could get some laps in i bet this is gonna be fun and no
matter what no matter who wins or loses or whatever we're all gonna lose a ton of weight
we're gonna be fitter we're gonna be uh like more toned like like it's gonna be hotter we're gonna
look better naked i i'm good if one month gave me a noticeable
body composition change that would be pretty exciting to me you absolutely will you're i'm
there's no way i don't lose it will there's no way i don't lose 50 joe was talking about how he
gained weight on it joe's eating like crazy joe's workouts are retarded yeah like like nobody can go as hard as joe i was looking at this place in
atlanta that does uh trt at for sports medicine and and they also do um iv bags you can go in
there and get a fucking iv bag anytime you want of like vitamins and minerals yeah none of this
is allowed trt online none of this shit is allowed.
Joe can do it because he's Joe Rogan.
But no.
That would be the
cheatiest cheaty shit.
Hold on, guys.
Let me pull my bag over here.
I don't think IV bags help that much.
Oh, yeah. They rehydrate you immediately.
But, I mean, you could rehydrate
by drinking.
That's my trick.
And it's not that slow, is it?
I don't know what they're putting in that IV.
It said vitamins and minerals,
and there was this whole spiel about how when you take a vitamin or a pill or whatever,
you only get a small percentage,
but with this, you get it all
because it's intravenous.
It's all like sodium and potassium.
It turns into stars.
I don't know enough about vitamins
to say you're wrong.
Very well may be how they work.
For all I know, your body is supposed to have
vitamins in its belly, not its blood.
You can't just put vitamins in your
veins. Well, it goes from your belly
to your blood. Does it?
Yeah. I guess so.
Maybe you're right. I don't know.
Okay. I saw the
Magic School Bus episode. Trust me on
this. Yeah.
It makes perfect sense. It probably
goes from your blood to your muscles, which is where it's
consumed in some effect. Yeah.
Well, I'm looking forward to it. We'll see how it goes.
I'm nervously excited about it
Kyle's very confident
Chiz is very confident
Taylor and I are the ones who are not
Thinking we're instant winners on this thing
That's my impression
You better hedge your bet
I don't want to talk about me forever
But this is a thing.
I've noticed a lot of people are like,
you have to go in there confident, thinking you're going to win.
If you walk in thinking you might lose, then you will lose.
That is never how I've operated my whole life.
I've walked in saying, I will give 100% effort,
and the chips will fall where they may.
And I've done that through my swimming, surfing, hockey,
Brazilian jiu-jitsu, whatever. Never had the
makings of a varsity athlete. I guess.
From Kyle,
the varsity athlete.
I was a varsity athlete.
Fucking Leatherman jacket. Not in college.
I broke school
records in my freshman year in college.
Two of them.
Actually, one. Two in high school and one in college.
I'm just saying, because that's what Uncle Junior said said to tony it was like what are you talking about i let i lettered my my
sophomore year and he's like you never played you played you never played college ball he's like
college ball some of those guys were seven feet tall yeah no i uh i did yeah anyway i was one of
the top point getters in my college swim team. And I always went into these things thinking,
well, this guy's about the same speed as me.
I'm going to go 100% and see how it goes.
I never understood the guys who had to think they were going to win to win.
That never computed with me.
You've got to have that laser focus.
Yeah.
Really, there's only one guy in this race.
It's me against me. We'll see how that works out, there's only one guy in this race. It's me against me.
We'll see how that works out.
That's how I've always done it.
I'm not sure.
Even if you win,
you lose
when you do that.
But if I lose,
I win.
I'm a loser.
It's me against my desire to be a loser, right?
Chael Sonnen has this great thing.
He's like, quitting is not an option.
Quitting is always an option.
Quitting is an option that is right there for you to take anytime you want to.
Quitting is a seductive choice that's there.
You have to deny that.
Quitting is an option.
It is.
You just have to choose not to do
that. That's the
me against me. There's
a Buddha fat version
of me sitting to the side saying,
Woody, wouldn't you rather be having pizza
and laying on the couch right now?
It's me against him.
And where I rank against
you guys...
Yeah. Do you have any uh
under armor compression shirts taylor yeah i love it i like like chiz is on discord right now like
like telling everybody how much he loves it how high quality it is i i got a knockoff one but
it's the same shit oh yeah you always get knockoff with that unless under armor decides to sponsor us because under armor is expensive as shit and it's all the same thing it's not like
well this is the high sweat wicking technology why do you like it's the same shit it feels it
keeps you much cooler are you like gonna work out practically shirtless in it yeah like if i were
running around in like a cotton shirt like it would get sopping wet and get drippy and sweaty
with this like it it pulls
it away from your body so you're not getting like that chilled feeling of like cold sweat like
when when wind blows on you or something running outside it is way better i got uh this one the
it's the 20 or something like that yeah 13 14 and like yeah and and like i put it on and I was like I'm gonna I bet I'm gonna look bad in this
no look good in it
that's my problem when I
wear a shirt like that I'm gonna try and share
it for the people watching
just buy three
I don't quite look like this dude
no I don't look like him
but I look fine like
everything is where it's supposed to be
you know I don't have any roles going on looks good and i feel it felt good i felt i felt athletic yeah i always
buy a size up with those like i buy xl in the compression stuff i i got a large but i'm always
somewhere between a medium and a large anyway so like yeah i'm usually larger xl i have a bunch
of shirts like that surfers wear them uh because the wax rips up your chest if you don't
surf every day, and
it's ideal for that.
This is going to be a lot of fun.
Like I said, I fully
expect to win.
I refuse nothing other than first place
in this thing. My name in the app
is Kyle Champion, but
no matter what happens,
I'm glad we're doing this, and it's
going to be...
Like I said, I'm guaranteed to lose 15
pounds. I'll be 180 pounds
by the time this thing is over, and I'll be a
fast 180. If it's a roaring
success, we should do it again in like
six months, in April or whatever,
so we'll all be looking hot for our summer
bodies. Yeah, I'm down.
Especially if it's good timing.
Depending on how this goes.
Hang on a goddamn minute.
We will make this decision after this.
Exactly.
If it turns out that this machine is not tracking me for half the time
and it keeps saying that my best day is September 13,
then we won't do it again.
At the end of the month, me, Taylor, and Chiz are at Woody's funeral
and we're like, it was a mistake.
But he did win.
I couldn't catch his mips, but...
He was electrocuting himself
for three hours a day.
Why didn't he tell us?
He put thumbtacks in the bottom of his shoes
like he was trying to pass a lie detector.
With that...
I've got one of those machines and...
No, no. I've got one of those machines and no, no
I've got one of those electronic
you put the little electrodes on your body
and you zap your muscles
what is it called?
they use those in jackass
they put them on their nutsack and their taint and their mouth
I actually got one for my broken leg
insurance covered it of all things
cool, yeah
it's called an e-stimulator or something like that um and uh
i saw where you could order like dildos to go in so you could electrocute a pussy
yeah nice i don't see why that's a thing on my girl rack up the points
dude uh this thing is very much on my mind i yeah, I think we're all in the same spot.
Are you nervous at all?
Are you guys like,
I don't want to get blown out.
Like I want to,
I want to be,
I just don't want to get last.
I'm the opposite of Kyle where I'm like,
you cannot get last you piece of shit.
Like that's my main goal.
I do not want to get last place.
No,
I'm excited.
I wish that, I wish that we were starting tonight. I wish that it was now because I want to get last place. No, I'm excited. I wish that we were starting tonight.
I wish that it was now because I want to go.
I wish it was tomorrow.
I'm fine for Thursday.
Is that when it is?
Is it like Thursday night?
Oh, I would guess it would be Wednesday midnight.
Wednesday on midnight.
Does that make sense?
Tomorrow midnight is when he...
Yeah, technically Thursday.
Yeah, by the way, that's...
I don't want to be accused of any shenanigans.
That's how I'm doing this thing.
Tomorrow at midnight, I start.
And on whatever the last day of...
Let's see.
October's 31 days, so November's 30 days.
And I'm going until 11.59pm on the last day
and then I'll cut it off there.
Roger that.
Rogan's doing the same thing. He's talking about his
last exercise day. I think it's going to be
like a 1500 point
day. Something outrageous
that he finishes with. And he has
10,000 points. No.
11,000 now. I saw something
on his Instagram today.
When I had my last update, he was 11,000 points. No. 11,000 now. I saw something on his Instagram today. All right.
All right.
When I had my last update, he was at 10, and the other three were at 8.
And so for him to get 1,500 in a day is really a lot.
8's impressive.
8's impressive.
You know?
Yeah.
It's hard to say.
These are just fucking, like, intangible numbers in my head right now.
We'll see.
Well, I have a little experience because I earned 47, and 8 is a lot.
8,000 is huge.
Yeah, I'll go through my first – if after my first workout I've got like 100, I'll be like, oh, shit.
All right, an hour and 100 points.
I don't even know if that's even fucking possible.
60 minutes?
Yeah, it's absolutely possible.
I could get 240 in an hour if I was going super hardcore, right?
Yeah, 60 minutes for a minute.
I don't know if he maintains 80% for a solid hour.
He says he maintains 90%.
He only does reds.
Well, 80s.
I thought 80 was good.
80 is top points because 90% gives the same amount of points as 80.
Yeah.
But you can tell.
He's very proud of the red on his chart which is what you get for 90
I wish that
you could go a step higher
and get 5 maps per minute
if you were in that upper echelon
because
90-100%
is
I wish that there was something else there
I don't know, I wish it was broken down
so that it shows in the colors, so you get a there. I don't know. I wish it was broken down so that...
It shows in the colors, so you get a pride,
but you don't get more meps.
I see that.
I don't know if I can show you guys
my work now.
If anybody's listening and wants to join in with us,
that'd be fun.
You've got time. You can slip one of these.
Get it fast enough. You won't miss much.
Yeah, they should have.
Maybe it'd be great
if they were a sponsor. That'd be cool.
I wish they were, too, because I know there's
people who bought it already.
Yeah, that'd be neat.
Hey, if you buy one, tweet at them
and at us. Include us
in your tweet to them. Like, hey,
PKA inspired us.
At Woody's Gamertag and at murka taylor or
whoever you are the the uh the the alt left fucking female defense whatever it is this flavor
of the week wherever you are you know at us and uh and and maybe that'll you know if they see that
we sold fucking 12 of these things maybe they'll'll get us a code or something someday or pay us some monies
or something like that.
Maybe we'll become a fitness podcast.
December,
we'll do it again.
Kyle, how do you see your past workouts
on this?
You seem to know the app really well.
You've been navigating.
I can see yours for sure.
They're technically workouts
but but they're just like me testing i think that you go and click yeah you click home i found it
so here's what i want to show people this is my move summary i don't know i know you guys aren't
seeing it but the the people are in the beginning is my actual workout and then you can see it sort
of tapered and the last two hours of me playing video games,
which is not any points here in case you guys can't see it.
See that.
And,
uh,
I think I just got two more points for the little sample where I did here,
where I was like,
you know,
doing nothing.
Jiggly.
Yeah.
So that's cool.
That's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But when I wanted to show that the color didn't show
up that well in my opinion but mine were all green and blue which is 60 and 70 percent maybe
some gray in there um and joe's are red you know he's doing 90 and i didn't do any of that
yeah he's uh he's he's going super super super hard dude i, I'm nervous. I'm excited. Next show,
we're going to have actual numbers and stuff
to talk about.
As long as they get my machine fixed tomorrow.
I hope so.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Yeah, I think worst case scenario,
you'll have to go to a
MyFitness. There are gyms
that use these things.
There's someone there who could probably reprogram it or do something to it for you you might have to like
find a gym there in st louis to go i'll get it figured out yeah yeah all right call a wrap
yeah dude i can't wait for this to start it starts basically tomorrow midnight yep pka 219