Painkiller Already - PKN #227

Episode Date: January 4, 2019

It's PKN time baby!

Alright, we're recording. PKN episode 227. Kyle has introduced us to Raft, and he has a Raft that I think is pretty nice. First of all, this game is a fucking blast. I did not think it would be half as much fun as it is. Like, I'm loving it. So here's the thing. I was a Minecraft guy, right? And Minecraft got this reputation as being cringy and lame. It was undeserved. Minecraft is raft times 10. Like there are things people build in Minecraft. The engineering, I can't understand it. And I did it professionally.

You know, like it was my job to understand it was it was next level and i'm talking about redstone people know minecraft the things that the cannons people build if you don't know what modern cannons look like you don't you don't understand what can be done with this thing and uh the the craftable items in raft i don't does it top out at like 60 100 or something probably so probably so. It's pretty basic stuff. Like two or three maybe 30 items and two tiers of a few items.

The thing with this game it's early access. I've only played Minecraft once. Eight years ago. I didn't give it a fair shake to be fair. My youngest brother played it a ton so I saw it. With this I'd see him playing and the creepers would come up and try and blow up on you or whoever the bad guy is in that game. In this, it sounds really dumb, but I genuinely get my heart starts beating quickly and I get anxious.

When I fall in the water, my feet will be pushing off the ground in real life because I'm trying to get myself up. Because it's just a silly little game. But in real life, I'm kind of afraid of the ocean like that. And so I'm like, come on, come on, get back up on the fucking raft. Get on the raft. Even though it's silly, it feels high stakes to me. It has an updated aesthetic, right? Which is cool.

Yeah. And I like raft. Don't get me wrong. Which is cool. Yeah. And I like Raft. Don't get me wrong. Like, the highest compliment I can pay to a game is,

I kind of wish I was playing it right now. Right? Like, if you have that kind of pull towards a game, then that game is pretty good. I like Raft. I don't know. But every time I see it, though, I still think, they shouldn't have shit on Minecraft 2 so hard.

I liked how quickly we went from beginner to having roles when we played in the Hangout. We kind of fiddle-fucked around and like, oh, you need to get this, that, and the other thing done. But then after 20 minutes, I felt like we were a well-oiled machine of Woody was the chef preparing the fish, making sure everybody's got water and food. I had built a farm. Kyle was navigating and making sure he was driving us correctly towards all the barrels and islands

which i tried to play by myself and i have missed every island so far like i'll be like come on come on like i built the big angled things and i'm missing them so if you're if you're not familiar with rap rap is an early access pc game where uh you start out on four tiles of rap you're you're not familiar with Raft, Raft is an early access PC game where you start out on four tiles of Raft. You're clinging on to life, and all you have is a hook. And you throw this hook to acquire loot in the form of sticks and plastic and palm leaves. And you basically end up being a self-sufficient little floating island all on your own by the time you build all the things that you could build. And there is an end game.

We beat it the first night, my friends and I. It took about 12 hours straight, I'm going to say. So the goal of the game is to build, and keep in mind it is early access. This is a $16 game. The goal is to build three radio towers and a control box and a battery, and you set that up the way it's supposed to be set up, and then you get a blip on the radar.

And we were all like, what's on the other end? And we're just, we're so psyched, because it says Utopia is on the other end. So we're picturing just the land of milk and honey, right? We've been out on the waves for 10 or 11 hours. It's 5 a.m. We're all ready to quit, but utopia is just over the next, uh,

the next wave. So we're paddling and we got our sails aloft and it's basically, uh, um, like a, like an oil platform thing with with a little bit of loot on it and uh there's there's a backstory to why you're on a raft like like i don't know if you ever considered why how did i get on this raft funny i never thought of that but you'd think i would have i never considered it uh you get up to the very top of utopia and there are a bunch of like like a serial killer would have all those newspaper clippings arranged um and like too much i get it ah well then i'll just i'll just stop um yeah wait but this isn't the real end game this is the pre-release end game

well who knows well i can't get too much there's not much more so so once you've found that then if you set the radar up again there'll be another bl blip. And that blip is a big island. And it'll keep repeating, and you'll find bigger and bigger islands. And they're not, the standard island you find in the game is pitiful. Like, it's enough to, like, hop around and chop down six trees, and that's that. But there are very large islands on the seas, if you use your radar. They take a couple minutes for a few people to explore. There are caves on them with

mushrooms and there's birds that will drop rocks on you and loot chests and that sort of thing. How many people were you playing with in the game where you finished? Probably, maybe four of us. Probably average three because people were getting on and off and stuff like that.

One guy stuck around for eight hours and then he got I had to go to bed and then we found Utopia. And the next day we were like, oh, you missed it. We beat the game. And he was he was pretty bummed out. What tricks have you figured out so far that like when we were all playing together, you didn't know? How are you like if you figure something out like, ah, always go for the mangoes because they do this, that or never grow radishes. It's a waste like little tips and tricks anything honestly it's like anything else like once you get like that snowball rolling you don't really worry about food like food and water is not a concern anymore at all like i've got two two of the biggest grills set up and next to them are two of the biggest water purification

things and there's maybe 10 or 11 chests are there more than two levels of water purification things and there's maybe 10 or 11 chests are there more than two levels of water purification yeah uh no two okay how much better is the one that you get second and when we're running around like filling up cups the next one is so much better because the big thing is it doesn't use wood right so just manning the wood is a bit of a pain in the butt plus it consumes resources that you could be using for collection nets or something like that. The other thing that's nice is you know how you put one cup in? You put, I don't know, four or six cups in.

You're kind of set for a while. If the next bonehead drinks without filling it, you can still drink and then just fill it all the way. Having a water bottle over the cup is very nice. What is that? Two servings? if you made it. Two servings? It's like a 20-ounce or a 2-liter bottle or something,

and he can take like five drinks out of it at a time. So I've got a palm tree farm that you can probably see in that little picture. If I were running back and forth and just putting one cup of water on each palm tree, it would be excruciating. But I can run and do like five at a time, like fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Is the palm tree only useful for getting wood? It's wood, palm leaves, coconut, and palm seeds. But I prefer the mangoes because food's not a concern and water's not a concern,

so I want the wood and leaves, not really food. In my world, wood's not a concern because basically all we ever do is just fly down wind and it seems like we have more resources, but the exception of island ones. I want to go to islands and get seaweed and scrap, but everything else I just find in the water. I have a chest with maybe 100 of the iron ingots in it and like 50 copper ingots and like all the seaweed and seaweed goo you can make mistakes like like i'll get 20 scrap and it's like all right well let's start making 80 nails and then i need to build like a scuba gear or something i'm like that takes scrap i'll be like i may as well make six 65 ropes out of all these palm leaves and then i was trying to

make like those uh that thing you built the first night, Kyle, so we could jump up in an angling fashion towards the island. I'm like, well, fuck. I guess I needed those. My boat's so big that it collects resources on a monumental scale.

It's absurd. Are you to the point that you're bored yet? Is it so big and so almost autonomous that it's like, I need to start over because there's nothing more for me to do? Yeah, I'm more of a manager than a survivor now. And so, like, at this point, I'll tell you something that was kind of funny. So you get attacked by sharks on a regular basis, and they gnaw at the boat, and they start trying to twist it apart,

and they'll take an entire tile of your boat away, which is just a minor annoyance unless they take a good tile. Some tiles are more expensive than others, obviously. And around the perimeter of my boat, I have these capture nets, which are a little resource-intensive. I think I've got 200 of them or something like that. And probably 175, something like that. I think my boat's like 50.

It's like a rectangle. But in any case, a shark came into the center of the boat, ate a chest. Oh, no. That sucks. You got to keep in mind, this boat is probably 50 tiles

by like 100 tiles or something. There's a huge amount of tiles there. Any one of them could have been attacked. He picked the one that had a chest full of goodies in it. And I come back to fill the chests. And I'm like, there's just a hole in the fucking deck. And the chest is gone. And it's clear that the chest has been taken.

Because there's a whole line of chests. And in the middle, there's a hole. He made a fool of you. I'm playing with Colin. And I'm envying Kyle's boat. but it's really not an option right because i can either rule this thing with an iron fist and get the boat i want which is not the ideal experience right or just be like oh yeah so he boards his he builds his boarding ramps in a zigzag well okay i guess that's how we do it. That's the way we're doing it now. If you want to play with me, you can play anytime.

I wish there was a way that you could just save my world and then it'd be yours anytime you want. But the way it works is I've got to be online and playing for anyone to play on my boat. I'd be happy to make a new boat. It doesn't take that long when you know what's up. What's all this green stuff? Is that just like a carpet area in your boat or grass? You see this yellow carpet? Oh is that

yellow? It's a platform with a yellow carpet. Ah yes that's the sort of the helm. Oh I didn't even realize that was a raised platform. Now I see it. Okay. Yeah see the sails up there and there's a bird, there's an egg farm up there and just to the left of the sail there's a bird, there's an egg farm up there. And just to the left of the sail, there's a, that's the computer monitor. And then you can kind of make out three radar or antennas, three radar antennas that you use to navigate. At this point, it's a little bit different. Like if you look at that black tower on the top right,

there's an identical one that's white on the left corner now. And that's, and the palm trees are covering up like a lot of the cooler stuff i've got like a smelting farm with uh three smelters on the left behind the palm trees and then you can kind of make out my chest there's what is the rim the there's a straight line of dark things in the center those are shark heads oh okay yeah and i got it i've got a shark head over there on each of the towers that i've built it's a nice it's a nice boat i had the idea i would be a manager that that colin in uh minecraft he was a grinder right so if you needed a wall built 255 tiles tall and you know a thousand tiles wide he would just go at it people liked having him on

in their faction because he would just do this stuff forever so i'm like oh this is cool i've got kyle and he's going to be a farmer smelter whatever uh what he actually likes doing is going swimming for shit we don't even have that that role has been filled by collection nets you've been put out of out of a job by automation, Colin. And he doesn't have, you know how the, so people don't know there's a sail on your raft and the raft travels in that direction. So it's nice to swim out in front of the raft.

If you swim to the side of the raft, then it can kind of leave you behind. If you swim behind the raft, you can barely swim back to it. So he hasn't quite tooled that out yet and he's just like dad i'm a little lost yeah binoculars are so worthless they don't do anything they don't do anything they and they're resource intensive i spent a lot of time building these damn binoculars and they are exactly like putting two toilet paper rolls on your eyes they just put on glasses and it would be like if you put on glasses in real life to just make your

screen a little bit bigger like if you put on some 1.5 magnification just looked at your screen you get the same benefit disagree kyle i think it's exactly the same with the side of it blacked out it's like looking through like a parallax magnification yeah it's it's it's fucking lame um i'll tell you the i'll tell you so we were playing and there were four of us playing and i think it was me um chameleon air the guy from our hangouts um the the guy from uh washington who's like a young guy who does well on tinder stuff, Middy, and my friend Urban. And the four of us are playing, and we've been going for maybe six hours straight or something like that.

And I'm like, all right, I've been managing heavily. Because I had some experience. I knew what was up. And I finally get to a place where I'm like, all right, we're in a good place now. I was like, all right, guys, I'm going to go take a piss. I got to take a break for just a minute. I'm going to go make a drink. I'm going to all right, we're in a good place now. I was like, all right, guys, I'm going to go take a piss. I got to take a break for just a minute. I'm going to go make a drink.

I'm going to take a piss. I get up and I'm not gone. I'm gone long enough to piss and pour a drink. That's how long I'm gone. There's no dilly dallying. The bathroom is right there. I come back. I get up out of the bed.

You know, I'm lying on a bed. I figured I'd get myself out of the way. I look and there's only Middy. And I go, but then I look up in the Discord app and we're all still there. We're all still, I'm like, where'd they go?

Where'd they go? And they go, he left us. He left us. He left us. And I'm like, Middy, what the fuck do you, why did you leave him? He's like, it's not my fault. You know, they jumped off and then they were gone. what the fuck do you why did you leave him he's like he's like it's not my fault you know they

jumped off and and then they were gone and i'm just what the fuck do you mean they were gone why didn't you turn the sail why didn't you paddle why didn't you court they're gone and they're both like we had so much shit on us we lost everything so they respawn and they literally have nothing we have everything when we respond there's like no penalty for death i don't know what the yeah if you set it to easy that's how it is oh we play yeah no we're playing on normal or maybe hard i'm probably just normal you lose it so there's two options when you die when a shark gets here you drown there's someone rescue me or there's reset and respawn we usually just do the rescue thing because we usually die around islands mining and somebody will jump in they'll throw you over their shoulder get you back

to the boat throw you on a hammock and you'll sort of respawn and you're good to go in like a second these two respawn and they're and they don't even have a cup all they have is the throwy thing they don't have a spear they don't have a fishing rod They don't have a fishing rod. They don't have a single tile. And so I start just, I've got everything. So I start making stuff for him. I'm like, all right, well, here's a cup. Here's a cup. We have picked on Mitty a little bit too much apparently for letting it stand. So he starts snatching up the things I'm making for him and throwing it overboard. You guys are so dysfunctional. I look over and I'm like, did you get that cup? And he's like, no, Middy took it. And I'm like, Middy, what did you do with their cup?

And he's muted us by this point. I just see him go to the edge of the boat, like the end of the boat, and look into the rear and just go, eh. There's a trail of shit. He's throwing their shit away. He's fishing rod, a cup, a hook. Like it's just flying out of his inventory. He's throwing away all the shit that I'm trying to

give him to keep us alive a little longer. It's fun. It's fun. I've made circuit boards, but nothing beyond that. Radio's not on my build list. How'd you get it? Radar, radio?

You have to get a blueprint, right? I remember the very first night we played i got the radio tower blueprint right away i didn't know what to do with it the blueprints uh seemed kind of worthless to me maybe um but but basically like the the ingredients are um you need to research everything to make sure so make sure you've researched like copper ingots iron ingots like like all of that stuff. I've made batteries. The goo. Yeah, you'll need a battery or two.

And then eventually you have the option to craft those things. I don't know. Like once you've got everything researched, then you have the option to craft the, I don't know what it's called, but it's a little computer box, a monitor, like a radar monitoring screen. And the antenna. And then it'll give you instructions for how to assemble it you basically go busy when i'm playing so when we played as the first time i ever played kyle was on the team and kyle was in charge of sailing paddling and he built he was kind of in charge of getting us to islands right and all of that and covers and he taught us stuff too so he'd build these um island boarding ramps and he'd handle the sailing and he'd paddle and he

just did a lot anchoring when you do all that by yourself plus you're in charge of like keeping him fed keeping him in water teaching him like i'm very busy when i play this game all i have is an add young child out swimming for shit like he's more of a responsibility it's like parenting in game i don't you mean like he's more of a liability on there as you're like trying to get something done and you're like where are you calling i'm just i'm just swimming looking for sharks so you're looking for sharks now it's not far from the truth you know and he gets like so it's hard to keep an eye on him all the time. So he'll just be like, ah!

I'm like, what now? He's like, the shark is biting me. Can you stop the boat? Gladly, but talk to me. I didn't even know you weren't on the raft. Dude, I've played horror games before. I remember I played that one that Suzuki Kaw suzuki kawasaki or whatever asian guy like makes all those scary games like a couple years ago they know where you're walking through

the hallway and it's like the infinite puzzle thing it was really big at the time i don't remember uh pt it was called i think playable trailer in it for a game that never came out and it was really scary this is spooking me more than that because the way you get attacked by the shark you don't see it coming and I don't know what it is getting attacked underwater even in a game is way more panic inducing where you're trying and for some reason like sometimes hitting space bar next to the raft you

jump out like a fish and you're like woo easily land on the raft and other times I feel like you hit it over and over and over and your guy just like barely kicks up as the shark's nipping at him Kyle I noticed you took your raft picture in still water are you getting a fair amount of waves over the raft when it gets rough out oh yeah yeah to the point where you'll go underwater oh i've been swept off the raft i that happened in my personal game but i don't think you can get swept off

because i was like walking out on one of my arms, and you're right. I was totally underwater, but I was still able to walk. See, Kyle doesn't have any sea-level arms. I will build an arm out and then fill it with collection nets as part of the strategy. And you can get swept off an arm, I'm pretty sure. I think it's happened. It could just have been confused underwater, but I think you can get off uh i've never been uh swept off or moved by the waves but it can get a little bit annoying that the waves just sweep right over your boat and it it's it's something it's some

kind of a clipping issue that's an issue with the world i guess it's prop what it probably is is when the raft gets to be a certain size the water water is maybe spherical rather than flat because maybe that's how the physics of the game work. And so there's a peak in the center of your boat that gets really deep underwater. I'm thinking about, I'm probably going to trim my boat backwards. I'm weighing the options between starting a whole new raft

or trimming mine back. Just start a whole new raft and save this one. Then you'll have like a jump back to it. It's hard to say Minecraft made a mistake because of its dumb aesthetic when it was... It's one of the top, like most popular games to have ever existed. It's like top three, I think, in terms of sales.

I don't doubt it. The ones that are bigger and older, like Super Mario Brothers and stuff. But, man, like I know you guys might have given minecraft more of a shot if it looked as good as raft yeah yeah the thing i don't like about minecraft is the aesthetic the the square boxiness of it dumb creepers it's hard to get like like when a shark is after you and it looks like jaws and usually i it's scary so it's like bloody scars on it and it's chomping you down and you've got a real problem and you don't want to die you

really don't want that it's an issue when some like stupid looking skeleton is firing dumb arrows and the audio behind it is like a i don't know how to describe a gay plink but there it is it's like man i just obviously they did great maybe they shouldn't have changed the thing he's a billionaire but you know they just missed the older demo yeah it almost is better for me that this is way simpler than minecraft and that was another thing with minecraft is like i always assumed there was so much stuff to learn to do i was like i'm not interested enough to put in the time i'll tell you what it is this i feel like you can hop in and just play a game without knowing hardly anything and it's based around i get that minecraft had like bows and swords and stuff and we're all

familiar with that but we're not really familiar with diamond swords and that sort of thing. But this is all based, like if I tell you, do you want the little water-frication purifier or the big one? You know the answer right away. You don't need any end game experience. Everything was kind of based in the real world to some extent, and I like survival. It's gonna go that way. Like you have a stone spear and a metal spear.

But I'm pretty sure there's going to be a stainless spear, you know, coming forward, you know, like the equivalent of diamond and iron. There's an, there's an update coming that'll add animals. Um,

you're going to have a few more animal types. Uh, uh, at this point, like, like you said, like I try to find more ways to make the game interesting. So currently that's like,

like interior designing or exterior designing like like i want i'm getting those towers up and painting them getting the paint is a grind i have a flower farm now i have two i have a couple of mill do dye mills that i'm continuously filling with flowers and grinding them up and then i'm planting the seeds that they produce and it's a never-ending process of getting enough paint why is one of your towers white and the other two are brown one's one's white one's black and the other hasn't been painted yet the others they're all sort of painted yeah oh yeah i thought it was a different material for some reason that is a lot of paint um let me tell you that is hours and hours of flower

grinding at work at work you're seeing there and the reason for that at first the reason was i had a lot of white paint a lot of black paint all right but not a huge amount of either but then i started thinking like you know we can never tell direction on the bow now everybody there's if you spot an island you just gotta be like to my left because there's no compass so i thought what if there was a white corner and a black corner you know we'll make midi stay on the black corner, of course. And then the rest of us... No, but you'll be able to say,

ah, island on the white side of the boat. Or the black side of the boat. And I'm probably going to paint the other towers like two alternating colors, like yellow or blue or something like that. It'll look terrible. It could be the black and blue or the black and white. Well, this way you can just say

on the palm side of the boat, on the brown side, the black side, or the white side. I do see the issue with that, though. The tower idea is better. He might have to remove some palms to put that tower there. Ah, those palms are going to go between the towers that are on the others that are already built over there. All those palms

are getting moved. That's the plan for those. Can you move collection nets? Yes, hold X. They'll just remove. They'll be in your inventory. Some things you hold X, you destroy them. They fall apart into bits, and it's not as many bits as you started with. I like my raft, but I'm certainly not,

wouldn't say that it's a great raft. There are, I've watched some YouTube videos, and you know how it goes. Like, I'm sure you've built something in Minecraft. I'm sure you've built something in Minecraft and been like, I'm the best there is. Let me go online and see what the competition... Holy shit! You built

the Never Never Land? Is that Captain Hook animated with brimstone? What does your raft look like? The Starship Enterprise. That's an option? It is an option. People have built things like that. I saw one that's an aircraft

carrier and i'm and there's a there's like planes built on it you know they're shitty planes but if you like so people don't know if you're minecraft you're familiar with this they'll be like a little roof a thatched roof so you can have a green one you can have one that's a triangle shape and you can put them on angles and then with that basic concept suddenly someone's building the mona lisa and you're like wait what oh my god you're like like i built kyle's raft is awesome he went with a square right someone else is building an aircraft carrier with planes on it and i'm just trying to wrap my head around like the planes like how they built a plane like thing

yeah it's they were silly you know they didn't look great but you're like oh yeah that that's supposed to be a plane they look i saw someone scale goes up sorry you're cutting off but like wow go go people will build like an entire community essentially like it looks like um like there's a park there's a bunch they'll build tinier rafts that are supposedly like parked like like like like a bunch of people have gathered together so so so and and they vary up the the make-believe rafts that that like make-believe people are supposedly living and and and fishing on so like one i'm super simple right with just a radar dish on top and it's like two levels and really tiny and cramped together but has all the amenities and then one of them is like a big yacht and like it's all one raft they've just built some like components

of one raft to make it appear like it's an island. I've seen people build it around an island and incorporate the island into their raft like the center of their raft is an island. So are they just totally stuck then around an island? Yeah yeah. Imagine this game but everyone was in the same world so you could like float around and attack

each other. And then there was a mechanic where suddenly you're building cannons and stuff. And when you attack me you get my stuff and I lose it. Then you have one of the more popular game modes on WoodyCraft. Yeah, that's what we're hoping for. I'm watching the aircraft carrier one right now, just skipping

around in it. That's enormous. Can you link it? Mine's so big at this point, that's the other thing I was going to say. Mine's so big at this point, I really don't get very many frames per second. And that's annoying. When I build now, it goes down to two frames per second.

If I rapid fire build, if I'm like, like running, I lose all frames. And the game has a memory leak issue. The longer you play, I don't know what it technically means, but what it means for me is that the longer I play, the lower my performance gets, and I have to basically back out of the main menu and jump back in to resolve that issue. On a technical side,

I don't know exactly what causes a memory leak. Is that my cue? No, no, I'm just saying. When you write to some piece of memory, you kind of allocate it, and when you are done with that, you deallocate it. You say, I'm not using this memory anymore. And sometimes people fail to deallocate certain portions of memory.

So it's just like, yeah, everything I've ever talked about is still in active memory. We're not using it. We're not talking about it. It should be done. I forgot about it. But the computer is still tracking it. So we grab new memory, but we don't let go of it. And it just keeps going and going

okay yeah oh that aircraft carrier is cool i hadn't seen that one in particular this is from yeah i don't know this youtuber either i watch a guy named called blitz uh blitz apparently like the game was in its like heyday i guess like six months ago forever ago uh like i was i didn't realize we were so far behind that's when it's when it first came out, was in July. And so his videos were getting really good views, you know, like quarter million to a million views each. He's zooming his binoculars.

Oh, this guy isn't even, okay, he's playing whatever game mode, he's playing whatever game mode it is where sharks don't come around and you have infinite resources. See, that's lame. So there's a game mode it is where sharks don't come around and you have infinite uh yeah okay see that's lame so there's a game mode called uh creative where um all you have to worry about is feeding and and i think you have to feed yourself and water yourself no you don't he's

been totally full the whole time okay um i don't remember what you do have to worry about it was something i thought in any case you get infinite resources so you can just go to town and build and build and build i don't like that because it doesn't feel like i've done anything i i want to go out and acquire my resources and then and then put them to work like like yeah and if you're not staving off the shark attacks like then what are you building this for dude minecraft has that too right so woody had woody craft had one of the most popular creative servers in the world. And, uh, the shit. So it starts off, the creative server

is an artistry thing, right? You're just showing your artistry. And then it turned into this weird role-playing thing where people would be pets and sisters and family. And then, like, like hell yeah dude i sounds a little weird oh oh taylor okay it sounds a lot weird i'll be honest there's strip clubs in there and like uh

champagne rooms and like i i had to like shut shit down people are going in the shampoo champagne room there's a mechanic in minecraft where you can pretty much like jerk off another player. Nothing happens, but your hand is doing that. And, uh, they would just like,

you know, little boys and girls go into the champagne rooms and jerk each other off. And I'm like, this whole plot's reset. Now, correction, little boys and boys were going into the back room. Who knows?

Right. I'm not resetting it because a little did you just assume their minecraft gender i did dude i didn't even assume their minecraft age i'm worried that one of them's 47 years old right that i don't know what's that's why this shit was getting cleared out and uh a reasonable concern. Yeah. It really is. I never thought about that before. That is a reasonable thing to think about. If you're a pedo or a creepy old man and you know there's a place where you can go

and just hang out with young kids just over voice chat or text chat and you can pretend to be one of... No, not even voice chat, just text chat, right? So they can pretend to be one of the kids. You can sneak into one of the discords. You just wouldn't out yourself, right? If like i do hey dudes who wants some radical diamond swords i got a job so i can afford i can afford as many of them i've also got a car so if you just give me your address i'll be right over over. I'll bring my computer. We'll play side by side.

We'll have a jammy party. Come on. What do you like to drink? I don't know. I look back and I see why we did some fun shit. We used to make stripper polls in factions where resources mattered and people would toss dollars at you. And then we had people who were like misbehaving so we'd build

these like elaborate torturing things and slowly pour lava on their head they'd be drinking potions trying to stay alive hoping i'd have a change of heart sometimes i would sometimes i wouldn't you don't know that's the coolest thing you ever told me about your minecraft server i love that's hilarious yeah i love that a paying customer can be waterboarded with magma at any time on the whim of an insane dictator. He's a crazy person. Bush and Obama would call you a madman. I feel like Wrath would be a fun game to stream. Although I feel like I would have a hard time being entertaining because there

are periods of when we play where I feel like no one said a word for an hour because everybody is grinding so goddamn hard. I'm holding shift and sprinting. It's just running fast. I'm running fast.

I know something new. Don't you love when somebody that's the problem with mechanic in a lot of games, shift is run every game except for Left 4 Dead 2 I don't know why Left 4 Dead 2, shift is walk extra slow I don't even know why that functionality is there why would you have

a slow walk functionality in a zombie game at first I thought it was crouch but control is crouch so it's just slow walk yeah i i don't know yeah i'm i'm sprinting everywhere because i'm trying to do so many things at once i oh and another like quality of of life thing that we built a fucking anchor that permanent anchor was huge now every time you you need to stop or slow down, it's just, here we go. I talk to Colin to work the anchor.

So I'm usually in charge of sailing us to a spot where one of the boarding ramps is over the land. And then I just tell him to hit the anchor and he drops it. Oh, it's huge. Yeah. I think it works better. I want to say the other anchor, after you drop it, the boat shifts. It's gone. Well, it's gone. It does keep turning.

When I was playing solo, I only played for a couple hours solo trying to figure it out more. That was the only one I could afford. I would keep getting real close to the island and be like, aha! I'd drop it when I saw the angled thing pointing towards it. Then I'd go, huh, huh, huh.

Except I wasn't actually sprinting because I didn't know that's a functionality and so i'm walking slowly up this ramp and as i'm walking the boat is drifting sideways like no no no and i get to the top i can't jump over anymore and i'm like all right well i guess i gotta try again we're so good at that now at like because like before it would be like ah every time we get to an island, we've got to build a new ramp. Because the old ramp has never pointed at the island. We're like, we're experts now. At this point, I know exactly when to drop anchor. And I've got the paddle.

And Middy will be up on his little, like, ramp that's already pre-built. And I'll glide him. It'll clip through the island. I'll clip him right through the island until he's on top. And I'm like, that good? He's like, yep. And stop, stop, stop. And I'm just like, I can wiggle the boat around and, like, move Middy to each part of the island please on top and i'm like that good he's like yep and stop stop stop and i'm just like i can wiggle the boat around and like move midi to each part of the island the

paddle's really fun the paddle's the way to go we just have enough ramps that doesn't matter we have two really well done like y-shaped ramps so yeah you usually get something on it it took me a minute to realize that you could build the ramp up and then do a floorboard and then change the direction of the ramp. Oh, yeah, we got that. So we have, like, a ramp up, and then we go left and right off that ramp. So it's like, oh, now the island's wrong this way. Now you enhance the ramp a couple of times, and before long all your scenarios are covered.

Yep. But it's not as pretty as your raft. You've got a nice thing going on there. Well, thank you. We tried very hard and put many, many hours into making it. Yeah, I'm going to keep going. I'll probably build that one over the – it needs another 15 or 20 hours of work, I would say.

But if either of you want to play after we get done here, we can start a whole new raft, or we could go to my world. I might be down later tonight. I'd be happy to work on a boat for you guys like if one of you wants to host and like uh you know i'll jump in there and work and it'll be because like i said you know we can't whoever hosts it's their it's their raft essentially i've been spending all day packing and getting shit together and uh you never realize how many clothes you just don't wear oh and and i'm gonna okay i know you can donate stuff to goodwill and get like a tax write-off and whatnot how do you value like

value evaluate i don't know the the clothes you're giving like just say like 100 bucks a bag if it's like a big trash bag full of good stuff it's obviously worth more than that one is bought but i don't know yeah i i've never tried to get a write-off for donating clothes i really don't donate clothes either um oh i do every time i move i go through and like purge everything because i mean it's just going to take up space and be more difficult like always very conservative with any kind of write-off stuff. There's an IRS tax guide. When I did this, there would be a chart that I could refer to. I don't know. Wow.

Okay, yeah, I figured we'll do it. You're supposed to itemize everything. The right way to do it is really a pain in the ass. Yeah, what I've done in the past is Kitty would know someone who wanted the things, who might want some things, and I would just give them directly to them, because I've usually got nice shit

that I just don't wear anymore. But honestly, I'll just throw shit away. I've thrown away huge outdoor trash bags of clothes before that I just... It's just like, I'm never wearing this again. Ever. And just, it's just like, I'm never wearing this again. Ever. And just, just, just

throw it all away. Oh, shit. This is the value guide? I have been grossly selling myself short. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, I, there we go. Well, I guess a lot of money on the table the last couple years.

It's okay. Me too, apparently. Can I pretend like I donated go well i guess a lot of money on the table last couple years okay apparently i i can i pretend like i donated them to the garbage and retroactively go back now no it's not how taxes work you go to goodwill you give them like you know whatever three trash bags full of old clothes and then they just say three bags received it's really up to you to describe what was in those bags, Kyle. Did we just find one of those loopholes in games that ruined them? Did we just figure out how to never pay taxes again? Let's get this book on the printer right now, all right?

I think we just figured out how to never pay taxes again. How many garbage bags did you give Goodwill? 87,000. Well, so they say how many bags are there, right? So they could be like, oh, there were five bags. Meanwhile, you gave them five comforters,

but what you describe as in five garbage bags could be something different. You know, I look at that chart, find one of those high, like, oh, sweaters are $17. There were 92 sweaters in there. There were 92 sweaters.

You know what? I actually, you know, weird hobby, but I used to collect wedding rings. So I donated a whole hefty flex bag of wedding rings to you. Remember that bag that weighed 9,200 pounds? Yeah, that was me. The IRS can go back retroactively and make some changes and apply some penalties, but I can't. You can. You can do a 1040X and mend it.

Oh, it's not as funny. Well, you can, Kyle. You fucking idiot. The thing is, you would have a hard time. I don't know. It's the 1040 extreme. That's how Sean White does his taxes. I'm trying to think.

So historically, what pumps up your deductions to a level that makes it worth itemizing is owning a house. And then with that, you've got a ton of mortgage deduction and you've got the state tax that you pay on the house and stuff like that. Really, if I'm guessing what your situation is, I don't see Kyle's tax returns. All he really has that's deductible is state income tax, and he might not make sense to itemize. So I don't know. Yeah. In any case, yeah, if you guys want to play some Wrath later,

I'd definitely be down. I haven't played any today. I was sick today. I felt really bad. I ate something that didn't agree with me last night. Did you vomit? No, I wish I had sick today. I felt really bad. I ate something that didn't agree with me last night. Did you vomit? No, I wish I had vomited. I had the worst indigestion and heartburn.

I drank... I wish I had that bottle of Pepto with me so I could show you how much Pepto-Bismol I drank today. About three quarters of a big bottle. It was absurd. I couldn't do anything. It was so awful. What was it that you ate that you think did it to you? Hmm. I couldn't do anything. It was so awful. What was it that you ate that you think did it to you? Well, I had a double cheeseburger with bacon, a bowl of chili, a triple hash brown with jalapenos and cheese.

I know that seems like the kind of stuff that would give you food poisoning, though. It wasn't food poisoning. It wasn't. It was just awful, awful indigestion and heartburn and i just wouldn't go away for 15 hours it felt like like it started last night and it was like feel better now but that's it's kind of a new thing how's everybody's christmas you know i don't know somehow related to it i had a my last two christmas was good weather for paramotoring and i didn't fly because i had a bad feeling i'm sure everyone's had that right but i was like intuition if i die today it'll ruin christmas for everyone forever i probably

should just not fly and didn't and then uh today i was like not far from that like i was launching with my acro wing which usually means like we're gonna do some fucking wonky shit today and uh i was like all right you're taking this wing but you know what you can still decide not to if you want like let's put that on the table and uh i did but i don know. I just said feeling a little less indestructible the past week or so. Hmm. Yeah. I didn't do anything for Christmas as I always say. Kitty cooked a ham.

So ham sandwiches for all. But, but that's about it. You know, didn't, didn't, didn't do anything. I wasn't. You still hanging out with your family on like Christmas Eve and Christmas, right? You just don't do presents and such. No. We did this small family

thing this year. So we're in North Carolina, but we're from Jersey. I told you I don't believe in it. No, no. I thought before that you meant I don't believe in turning it into a consumerism nonsense thing. I do agree with you to an extent. I thought you just meant we all hang out. No, this is where I agree with Wings of extent we all hang out no this is where i where i agree with

wings of redemption i i don't celebrate holidays i'm so worried i don't believe in it uh is are you sure it's not because your family doesn't love you wings no that's not it that's not it wow that's brutal that is not in the spirit of christmas so hope's big present isn't really she got an ipad pro with the pen and everything she bought her a gun that would have been so fucking funny she wanted it for taking notes in school and stuff and all right hilarious but yeah let me circle back to the gun thing but uh colin got some more fun things uh he got this like i don't know how to describe it but it's almost like a big wheel but instead of uh it's first of all it's not plastic it's

metal it's strong i can i drive it sometimes and you operate it by like wiggling the front wheel and it's an indoor toy so he's just like buzzing around the house all the time he flipping loves it he's watching television but he doesn't sit on the couch he sits on this thing and i can grab it by the front and do bicep curls so he's just like you know every time i walk in the room like dad do it again and i try to balance him on the back two wheels but he's like a human who moves and stuff so it doesn't last long then either he he goes dropping down frontwards until I catch it and stop it, or he starts flipping over backwards until I catch it and stop that. And he just has a blast with that.

His other neat toy that I can't stop playing with is a giant stress ball. It's just a stress ball, but it's about the size of a human head. And it's just fun to like smash it and pull it. And it's a cool thing. I didn't do that. Oh, I got quite a few things. Mostly clothes, which clothes were the lamest, shittiest thing as a kid. Now that's all I really want.

Like I see it as saving me a shopping trip. And I hate going clothes shopping. So it's awesome. But I a my grandma got my she always gets like my brothers and i like so like quite a few similar things and she got me a she got us all a weighted blanket because she's like now these things now i read in a magazine that these are the newest best kind of thing to make sure you get lots of good sleep you know you mentioned taylor that you had trouble sleeping this should help you a good bit and i like i put it on i'm like like first of all the container the folded

container of this weighted blanket is like 25 pounds it's it's a heavy ass blanket and i was like at first i'm like this is really just silly when am i gonna use a weighted blanket and then i was taking a nap after we're eating on her couch at at my grandparents house and i'm like let me give it a go i put it on i'm like oh oh this is good this is a primo nice blanket it takes the heat away from you somehow but it's still heavy enough that it makes you feel more warm and so it's like you're not i was thinking like i'm already getting sweaty enough when i sleep because i need a blanket even when it's hot for some reason uh and this this might be way better it's like it's like heat wicking somehow so thumbs up to grandma good pick i like your grandma i don't know her but i just she seems caring she's a great woman she like oh my god i should have documented the food again

this year because she does the the crab boil and all that for the initial day we always go down like the day uh either thanksgiving or i'm sorry not thanksgiving christmas eve or the day before and she does that whole crab boil i've sent you guys pictures of and then we had 15 pounds of cooked crab still good to go like a giant enormous bags for the next day i would say an appetizer yeah and like all the andouille sausage and all of the the shrimp and the and everything and the next day instead of like doing any kind of warm-up stuff like my grandma gets up at like 6 45 in the morning and makes like probably four pounds of beef tenderloin a ton of fried eggs all these homemade biscuits and gravy uh she fried shrimp how many people she made mozzarella sticks 18 people or six there were there were uh uh seven people seven people and this is enough food i shit you not like if you just took pictures of how much she buys you'd be like oh are you having uh the detroit

lions over like because we could handle that at this like i i need to document it better because and and it's almost like she's averse to leftovers in our situation like every day so like all the tenderloin she makes on christmas eve christmas morning she's like now i also got some chicken that i could fry up for you if you'd like and it's like well we've got you've got you know 15 pounds of crab from two days ago and four pounds of tenderloin and so much shit from yesterday like she's not she's got to make more i i got to take home so much food it's great oh my grandparents are the best they'd be my grandma would be too nice to be a guest on the show my grandpa would be too offensive to be a guest on the show accepted oh yeah everyone with him would get demonetized

within the first couple minutes but yeah i just christmas is stressful especially like when your parents are divorced and shit because you gotta unless you do it the way kyle does which is just kind of fuck it but like i still kind of feel obligated to go to all the events and everything but it is it's a good time of year i always split your time with your girlfriend's family too is that like a thing that you're doing oh yeah like uh well i mean not split time uh because there just wasn't enough time for that. But I did go and hang out with her family for Christmas for a little while. Yeah, that's a lot to balance if you don't have kids. But when you have like the kids, everyone wants to see, you know, the ones under three.

Then then it becomes your job to like, oh, my God, really? So what's the Christmas plan? Oh, yeah. Well, OK. So step one one fuck our family today we'll be working for everyone else's family we gotta go here we gotta go there we gotta go to some other place yep like oh that gets very exhausting very quickly but i don't know i like this time of year yeah yeah it's nice we we just do a small thing jackie's a little sad her mom died just before christmas last year so uh that's sort of that's on her mind i've been thinking about her too so yeah it's a tough time of year when that i want to make sure when i die i die like

july 26th or something so that like the next year they'll be like when did he die again so i'm not ruining anything it was that barbecue you know he just kept eating them sausages i don't know yeah he just kept eating them sausages or i die on like a holiday that i hate when he was so young when he was young he was good at getting them out of the shells and in his old age you just ate the crabs whole right into the crab just right into the crab oh I love crab like a and for two days after I ate it my shit smelled exactly and it was like poop mixed with crab it was like a reminder of the meal it just smelled like crab in the same way have you ever eaten white castle of course you have

i'm sure crystal burgers are the same or when you take a shit after white castle or crystal it does not smell like shit mixed with white castle it just smells like you walked into a white castle which is not it was just a bit of an indictment on the smell of white castles, but either way. Yeah. I'm with Christmas, not having a fun time with moving stuff. That's not fun. Trying to figure all that out.

I know the date. I, it's coming up very soon. Uh, when I'm telling the world, but it's, yeah, I go,

I want it to, I want to like have it just just be a surprise when i'm in when i'm set up in my new my new thing for a show like with the camera i see but i don't want to like make guarantees because i always wondered like because you know every real estate agent i talked to is like oh you're buying at a good time of year because people are usually very desperate to get rid of their homes because the holidays and it's just very stressful for them and i was like yeah well this seems like a smart move now i understand why this is a stressful time to move because trying to organize movers trying to get like utility people out like like it'll say on people's websites yeah we're open

you know just regular business days 26 27th and 28th or whatever and they're not just fucking assholes with their families getting a break from putting people like me's cable together so i don't know it's a bit uh it's a bit jumbled up in the air and chaotic but i'm really excited for it and i i'm gonna save more money i talked to one of my cousins i was telling him i'm gonna put a home gym in and he and i was like i'm gonna buy these weights and bumper plates and he was like shut up no you're not i bought a huge set of of plates and weights a couple years ago ago, never touched them. And so please go to our aunt's house, my mom's house and,

and pick it up. And it's all free. And I'm like, hell yeah. It's like, it's like $700 worth of weights. I'm going to get. So that's awesome.

Merry Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Oh, that's great. Jackie. So Jackie and I,

this year decided to sort of buy our own presents, right? She wanted a Harry Potter Lego set. I'm not sure if I talked about this on the show yet. I looked at it. Chiz linked it to me the other day because he thought it was cool, I guess. And I was like, you're joking, right? I was like, you know that's Jackie's Christmas gift. And he's like, what are you talking about?

That's her Christmas gift for herself. She's getting the Lego. He's like, no, no way. I'm like, yeah, it's the $400. It was like 580 on Amazon where I buy everything. So when she's like, that's way too much. I know we can get it a bit cheaper. I was like, you know, tell you what, you get the Lego set.

I'll buy a paragliding thing for myself. And we're like, cool. We even high fived on it. And then it's around like i don't know three or four p.m on christmas and she's like woody so here's the thing i wanted another present too and i'm like but wait we high-fived and she's like yeah i already bought it and i'm like all right what do we do here she bought is it 800 or 400? I forget if each ticket was 400

or if the tickets combined were 400, but she bought tickets to a musical, Anastasia. And it was just like, huh, all righty then. Usually we talk about that sort of thing. But, so yeah. That's an expensive show if it's $800. I think the set in anastasia is like next level and it's raised the price of it um a lot of the musicals we go to like when

we see shrek or green day or something there's a green day musical um they're only like 40 bucks a ticket like it's not that bad but these were hundreds of dollars a ticket the hamilton was a lot too i'm gonna at some point i'm going to uh the symphony the saint louis symphony here because my girl wanted to go to that i've never gone to one and it honestly it seems like more fun than a concert because you just get to sit there and people aren't like sweaty and bumping into you i wouldn't think maybe like a big fat uh you know alfred hitchcock looking guy would be sweaty tell me what you think of it afterwards i'm looking forward because if you had told me musical 10 years ago i'd be like oh my god no this sounds so lame if you would describe hamilton like yes

it's a bunch of non-white people rapping about alexander hamilton i'd be like, but okay. Cultural appropriation, I guess. But I actually really liked it. I really like most of the musicals I go to. So maybe symphonies are cool too. But without having done it, I'm sticking my nose up in the air. I feel like I'll be able to feel classier when I have gone to a symphony. That doesn't work for me.

Like when I go to a, like I go to Hamilton, right? That's a fairly cultured thing to do, maybe. I don't know. But I am still just me. Well, you ruined it. Now I'm not going to go. I'm going to ruin her present and redact those tickets. When is it?

This month? Because of like moving and getting stuff under control. Like I just told her we will go and we'll figure out a date that works for us because they i got they do like shows and things where they'll like play the the cinderella soundtrack or something like that or something uh hamilton i think was may have even been on on the list i don't know but it doesn't seem like it would make sense if it was a bunch of white people in an orchestra playing it kind of defeats the purpose of hamilton makes more sense really okay fair enough yeah okay all right well what historically speaking and none of those people would be singing and dancing. I promise. Unless they were being forced to.

I'm not racist. It's just a little hard to follow. It's like, I mean, it's like, did I tell you? I think I talked about this already. Yeah. I was like, oh my God. They're all black. They're not all black.

I can't tell one from the other. No, no. Alexander Hamilton's like Mexican or Native American Indian or something. They look the same to me. The wife is white, I guess. And the kid is black. But like, not Obama black. Like, um.

Like, I am the captain now. Wesley Snipes black. Yeah, or I am the captain now black. And, uh, and I'm captain now, black. Wesley Snipes black. Yeah, or I am the captain now, black. And we were late. So I didn't know that was the kid at first. I was really, I'm like, who's the retarded guy learning to play the piano? I don't know. I'll catch up.

And then I'm like, oh, I see. That 40-year-old black man is a six-year-old white child. Okay, now i know it's it's it's that's hamilton yeah i haven't thought that have you ever seen a musical kyle yeah i um i saw mary poppins oh was it what was did you like it was it good i really liked it yeah it was very good yeah we talked about this before there was a lot of acrobatics and stuff like that. They were running up the walls and dancing upside down, like really high off the stage.

Like a fall would have been deadly. And, you know, it was good. I remember now. You know what I'd like to see that actually, like I think looks genuinely cool is like Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil, have you say it? Like where it's genuine, like super athletes doing feats of strength and stuff. One of our family friends.

That's how I imagine it. His goal was to be a Cirque du Soleil performer. That's what he wanted to do. He went to circus school. He went to circus school. I was going to call it clown school, but I don't think it was that. It was circus school. You want to know how I got in Cirque du Soleil?

Dude, they have like... I raped the director's daughter and tell people I tell them about it. That's what the Joker would say. There's like progressive levels of schooling. You have to like, you go to one and then it's harder to get into like the master's program. But Cirque du Soleil selects from that. Or sometimes they select from smaller circuses. And he was working his way up the thing,

and it was interesting because he had, like, injuries, and it's like, what do you do? Do you arrest your injury like an amateur would, or do you play through the injury like a pro would? Yeah, you don't want to get booted because you're like, oh, my ankle. And they're like, oh, yeah, well, this guy's ankle is fine, and so goodbye.

Right? Yeah, so, you know, he had all these things. And he's currently a professional skydiving instructor. He didn't make it all the way to Cirque du Soleil and took a turn. But interesting stuff. Ooh, Kyle has Chipotle. Oh, Chipotle. What'd you get?

I got chicken and steak burritos with queso. Did you double it up or did you go half and half? Half and half. Okay, so you're being, you know, health conscious, weight conscious. Oh no, I got a half steak and chicken burrito and then a chicken burrito. So you got two burritos? Yeah, there's a fallback burrito. There is a different kind of half and half that you hadn't considered, Taylor. That's right. It's just two burritos. Are all the ingredients the same in both or did you play with it a bit?

I played with it a bit. One burrito is black beans, white rice, cheese, and guac, and sour cream. That's the same for both. But one of them has fajita vegetables and the really hot salsa, and the first one has the green chili salsa. Fajita veggies changed the game at Chipotle. They're such a good addition. And it helps, like, fool you into thinking you're being healthier than you are

because those are really just vegetables doused in oil. I'm not fooled. Dude, I know what's about to happen. I think my favorite part about fajitas is the obvious envy everyone else in the restaurant has as these, like, frying. It's still cooking on the way over it's dangerous too i want to see him drop it just once on someone just just one time fry some guy in the third row let's just i i really want to oh no and he just drops that fucking platter of

sizzling death on some but hopefully it's a bad a guy gets like a branding that says chilies on his cheekbone or something I remember I went to like Chevy's I don't know if Chevy's is everywhere it's like this Tex-Mex place and as a little kid I don't even know if they're around anymore but I got fajitas and they brought it out and it was so hot it was my first time seeing like the

fajita plate like the metal thing with the little tiny oven mitt over the end and I was like even at the age of like seven i was like who are they trying to fool they wouldn't put something this hot in front of a child and so then i took like plastic forks and and straws from off the table and like started melting them on the the black thing and it started smelling like burnt plastic and I realized, not only have I ruined a good portion of my food here, but they will absolutely put something this hot in front of a child.

So there you go. Yeah. I haven't had dinner yet. I want it right now. All right. Yeah, I'm starving. All right. I'm going to eat this food.

If you guys want to play Wrath, let me know. I'm going to eat this food and probably start a game up with some people, or if you guys want to host one and your timing works out, we can do that. Either way. Awesome. Okay. Yeah, I'll let me know. I'm going to eat this food and probably start a game up with some people or if you guys want to host one and your timing works out, we can do that. Either way. Awesome. Okay. Yeah, I'll let you know. Bye, guys.